#she put centuries worth of feeling into it fr

[agathasblackheart]

Just thinking about the kiss and the way Agatha was constantly stroking Rio’s cheek while Rio’s hands when up from her waist to her cheeks and back down before finally holding onto her wrists, all while being absolutely devoured by Agatha

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

Me ranting about a book below the cut but I just need to get this off my chest

Honestly, I hated that ending so fucking much. It's honestly so fucking impressive how the author was able to ruin two books worth of stuff in one single sentence at the end. I can't believe that she'd allow the two of them to take on other lovers. The MC went a full century without touching anyone else. She waited for her lover to awaken and yet??? I feel like the two of them just should not have gotten together if they were just gonna??? Break up, fuck other people for a hundred years, and then get back together? How on earth is that love? How on earth is that "fated"?

"Hey, I'm totally cool with you being miles away from me even though you genuinely do not have to be. Not only that, but I'm totally cool with both of us fucking a multitude of other people for literally a hundred years. After we're done with our hundred year escapade of not being loyal to each other, why don't we get back together?"

Fucking insane. That's your retelling? That's your happy ending?? What self respecting person would allow someone to put them on the back burner for 100 years? It's not like their love wasn't confessed. They admitted to loving each other. Or loving each other once, at least. So? Either end it or be faithful? Who the fuck allows themselves to be a "hmm... I'm gonna sample everyone else first and come back to you when I feel like it" for fucking 100 years? Is that really love prevailing? Is that really true love? And what on earth was with all that ambiguous sexuality bullshit? I'm going to kill someone.

Y'all, I am being so fucking serious when I say the ending of this book influenced by writing and my drive to be a writer in a way that literally nothing else has. This book had me in shambles. I can't think about it too long. I cried for days after. Just the thought of the line "Alyce, come home" can send me into turmoil fr. God, I fucking hate lesbian books. I'm never reading one again.

[a-flickering-soul]

i've been getting into spg for the last few months now, and i'm noticing there's really not much about these characters on the internet. (the spg wiki is Very Short.) you mind unpacking some lore about the bots?

(this is also an invitation to infodump. believe me when i say i Want to hear about these funky little automatons)

Sorry about the two lengthy SPG asks in one day! I'm putting this one below the cut because it is LITERALLY 2.4k man I did NOT come to play with this one! For what it's worth, you may find this ask interesting, as I've linked some good lore sources I frequent a lot :)

Rabbit: The first to be built! She named herself Rabbit after one of the animals in the lab she was built in, which I think is very endearing of her. She's Victorian clockwork/steampunk-inspired, and out of all the automatons is the one to maintain the most of her original vintage workings, which means she's also the one to malfunction the most <3 girl things fr. Rabbit is a wonderful character because she is Bunny Bennett's special special OC and gets to have so so many problems because of it. I am serious when I say most things usually happen to Rabbit. She is the Special Girl of SPG lore. This is NOT my own bias showing up, I PROMISE.

Rabbit has everything bad happen to her. Red Core, which is THEE Rabbit comic and something I read on a semi-regular basis to experience shrimp emotions through, goes through her backstory being trans (this robot is trans) and it peels me every time. I won't recap it but I think everyone who likes trans robots should read it even though it is as of yet incomplete. Lore-wise, it's interesting because it establishes that she was originally meant to look like Delilah Morreo (certainly a choice, Peter Walter I), and was sent to war in an incomplete, half-broken body which I certainly have a lot of thoughts about (it's the lack of AGENCY it's the way she spent the war VOICELESS it's the way she was denied the chance to be finished for a CENTURY it's--). Following that, about half a century later it was her core specifically that was stolen by the Beciles in 1950 in an attempt to replicate her Blue Matter power source. This tinkering inadvertently sent a beam of pure energy ripping through time and space, causing an explosion that claimed the lives of Peter Walter II and Guy Hottie (real name), and injuring Peter Walter III, Ignatius Becile, and Norman Becile. Rabbit, to this day, still blames herself for this because god forbid women have one good day. This also was the point in time that split the events of the Vice Quadrant into Timelines A and B, due to the generative power of Blue Matter, and also maybe created Cosmica? Which begs the question if Rabbit is sort of like Cosmica's mom in a weird way, but that's beside the point. In 2014, her original blueprints were discovered after a series of worsening malfunctions led Peter Walter VI to search for a way to repair or upgrade her, resulting in the confirmation of what Rabbit had known all along--that she was in an unfinished and slipshod chassis, that she was a girl, and she deserved to be recognized as such. Which is cool :') and a really neat way to work in her creator's IRL transition :') and for sure doesn't make me feel things.

Some cool facts I've just gleaned about Rabbit over the past eight-odd months are that she has memory problems, fell in love with a toaster, knows what BDSM is (SWEAR to god this is true), likes feeding ducks, and has a laser cannon in one eye, hence the heterochromia. There also is this cool series of drawings showing Rabbit's evolution drawn by Bunny here, which is really interesting to look at! In case it's not obvious, she's my favorite and I love her and I think about her too much <3

The Spine: The Spine is a special, special old man. With a retro-futuristic aesthetic, he was built with a titanium alloy spine (that's his Back Story), and before he got upgrades in 1955, was fashioned with a high amount of steam vents running up and down his vertebrae that kind of looked like old-fashioned train smokestacks, which is very endearing. In 1955, as I mentioned earlier, he got a ton of upgrades funding exclusively by the US government improving his weaponry, as well as an upgrade to his AI and programming making him much more humanistic, more personable and more able to mimic how humans moved in order to make it easier, once they were inevitably drafted again, for him to take up dangerous military operations without risking human lives. It's to my knowledge unclear if he was built like this or if this was part of that 1955 upgrade, but he is also able to detach his head and spine from his torso and limbs and actually slither around like a snake, which some people think is weird but I think is very endearing and fun! He hangs out a lot in the Hall of Wires since he's one of the few inhabitants of Walter Manor that can actually climb up towards the ceiling and presumably debug or repair the AIs, and also because it's the only room in the entire Manor with a door.

I love the Spine because I think the evolution of his role in the band is incredibly funny. If you watch the earlier Balboa and Zoo-era performances, he plays the straight man of the band in a stoic, but also kind of dumb way. He doesn't really know what's a bit and what's serious, but it's okay because he's really trying his best. Now, as the straight man of the group, he's so so old and tired. He really just wants to go back home and power off and who can blame him? By dint of the current lineup being a Black robot, a trans gay robot, and a white guy robot, he is now the butt by default of most jokes which is delightful to Me and boy, does he shoulder that weight with begrudging grace. My special, special old man. Watching him get made fun of onstage is kind of like watching someone give a very old and tired dog a pill, and I mean that in the most affectionate way possible.

Cool facts about the Spine include the fact that he's really into cowboys and the Wild West, he has actually never really been in love, he secretly thinks Saturdays are Just Okay, and he actually swears the most out of all of the members of the band (at least as of now).

The Jon: The Jon is an interesting little guy. He has a cool Art Deco style and is known for being a little more whimsical, young, and off-the-cuff as opposed to the others. What's interesting about his backstory is that while Peter Walter I was mucking around with his power core trying to bring him to life, some switch flipped or some level was triggered and a minor explosion occurred. By the time the smoke cleared, the Jon was alive and sentient and there was a void in his chest instead of a power source. Unlike his siblings, he didn't run on clockwork, or hydraulics, or anything of the sort. He appeared to sustain himself on the void sealed in his chassis, which contained only a koi fish and a hot dog floating in space. He tends to have a certain effect on people blurring the lines between fantasy and reality, and odd coincidences seem to follow him like a well-trained dog.

In 1992, the Jon went through his own upgrade--Walter Robotics, always looking for ways to boost their quarterly revenue, signed an ad deal with PepsiCo advertising Crystal Pepsi. The Jon was modified to run solely on Crystal Pepsi, which. . . as you can see by the popularity of Crystal Pepsi right now (sarcasm), it obviously didn't go well. The Jon's efficiency is tied to an out-of-production soda and his machinery refused to be retroactively fitted to water again. To prevent the inevitable from happening, he left around 2012 through one of those Blue Matter portals through to a sister dimension (in fact, the same one Peter Walter I discovered back in 1896) known as Kazooland, where we are assured he now serves as the Mayor of Biscuittown (presumably, it is up to us to determine how much of this is true and how much of it is the Jon trying to sound cool).

Cool facts about the Jon include the fact that he and Zer0 are besties, animals love him, and that the very first show that Steam Powered Giraffe did all the way back in 2009 was about them going back in time to get him more Crystal Pepsi.

Upgrade: I used to be neutral about Upgrade but then I watched all the busking videos and also the 10 year anniversary show and now I love her. She was the Girl Of The Group (TM) all the way back in their busking era in 2009-2010 and her ongoing bit was that she was in love with the Spine and also knew exactly how adorable she was. However, she can be stubborn when she wants to be, and her AI is permanently frozen in the QWERTY 1996 OS because she really just liked the 90s I guess.

I for one am completely fascinated by Upgrade's lore because it's noted that during the Weekend War and WWI, she served in the military presumably doing the same sort of things the other bots were doing, then as a medical nurse in WWII, indicating that the governmental military contract really played fast and loose with whether or not they could enlist woman-coded robots in the war effort. What's notable to me, though, is that during the Vietnam War, Upgrade specifically went on to protest the war with the hippy movement while the others served in the war. How did that happen? Were they just allowed to opt out whenever they wanted? Are these robots really willing Vietnam War vets? Did Upgrade out of all of them just have enough guts to run away? Anyways, she was brought back into the fold about four years after the war ended, just in time to a few decades later get Sharpied with facial hair while the robots trial-ran a boy band concept. She ultimately left to go be a princess and become actual royalty. I swear to god I read somewhere that Upgrade killed Princess Diana but for the life of me I cannot find it. Know that it haunts me.

Upgrade facts include the fact that she is an actual princess, her makeup out of all of them is most inspired by classic vaudeville, and it was her and Rabbit's roles during their busking era to banter with the audience while the Spine and the Jon tuned their guitars.

Hatchworth: Hatchworth was built in the frantic few months before Peter Walter I had to face Thaddeus Becile in battle and presumably the poor man was turning anything metal into a robot. Hence, Hatchworth's design--he was initially constructed out of an old-fashioned bronze wood stove. Walter chose this robot to experiment with his Blue Matter levels, and with one tiny change in concentration he accidentally created a Blue Portal into another dimension in his hatch. This was incredibly useful in battle, as almost any weapon could be summoned through the hatch--after the war, it was used to summon sandwiches for the growing Walter family. All was well and good, until an as-of-yet unnoticed hairline fracture in his core began making the portal act unstable, coming to a peak in 1938. After accidentally summoning a pack (herd? flock?) of badgers into the middle of a tea party he was serving, he was determined too damaged to fix for now by anyone other than an ailing Peter Walter I, and locked in a lead vault deep below the manor while Peter Walters II and III tried to find a fix. Decades later, he was found hallucinating and lonely by our boy Peter Walter VI, who was stricken with his own Blue Matter mishap and had an inkling of how to fix the old robot. One thing led to another, and now thankfully we are all 99.9% Hatchworth acclimated!

Hatchworth facts….he left the band to go Gold Fishing (with some degree of success), he has incredibly fancy shoes that are also inexplicably tiny sometimes, he has a Hello Kitty cell phone, he does know how to cross himself, and Zer0 tried to microwave his head once.

Zer0: Myyyyyy sweetest and most special boy Zer0. Zer0 was actually technicallyyyyy the first one built, since he originated from three separate rudimentary prototypes Peter Walter I fused together after testing out various weapon designs. As a result, he's incredibly robust, very powerful, and has a cobbled-together patchwork appearance. Unfortunately, as he didn't have much by way of singing at the time, he fell to the wayside after the Weekend War and was forgotten down in the basements and testing labs sealed miles below Walter Manor. In 1992, the AI Beebop found him while archiving documents and turned him on. Zer0, enamored with the evolution of music over the past century, taught himself how to sing exclusively from the old Motown records in the basement with him. Peter Walter V, upon hearing his voice, was so awestruck that he immediately repaired him and Zer0 became the face of the band (#Zer0OurShiningStar). Zer0 then absolutely skyrocketed in popularity, signed with a TV show, and subsequently became so famous Walter Robotics had to erase all content of him from their market because they lost the rights to his appearance and voice. Sadly, our sweet boy invested all his money in "the abstract concept of love", lost all his money, sold one single copy of a bad autobiography, and came back home to Walter Manor with naught but a yacht to his name. He very graciously returned to performing in Steam Powered Giraffe, where his lovely vocals can be heard to this day.

Zer0 facts include the fact that he got a brand deal to sell his own kind of overly sugary cereal, he fell in love with a "large-chested lamppost" once, he likes possums, he would collect worms on strings if he could, and his defining characteristic is joy <3

I hope this was somewhat readable and comprehensive! I think…..I covered everyone out of the automatons, unless there is another member about to crawl out of the woodwork somewhere. Best of luck in your lore-hunting! I hope this helped :)

[nitrateglow]

Thoughts on The Exorcist (1973)

The early scenes in The Exorcist-- specifically the shot where Fr. Merrin faces off against the Pazuzu statue-- call to mind my favorite line from Bram Stoker’s Dracula: “And yet, unless my senses deceive me, the old centuries had, and have, powers of their own which mere “modernity” cannot kill.”

A lot about this movie makes me think of Dracula actually. Much of it involves the modern, secular world combating an ancient spiritual evil. What makes The Exorcist scary is not Linda Blair spitting up a can of pea soup: it’s the idea that there are things which all our sophisticated technology and superior understanding of human biology and psychology cannot overcome. It’s part of why I have always been confused by claims that the non-religious couldn’t be scared of this movie. I would think they’d consider it a nightmare, a terrifying “what-if.”

Even if you don’t find the movie scary, it is still a striking work of art. Director William Friedkin employs a documentary style to the proceedings, lending a creepy credibility to the more outlandish images. Very few supernatural horror movies make you wonder how you would react if all this were happening to you in quite the same way. Adding to this is the fantastic performance of Ellen Burstyn-- she goes through pure hell, knowing something is terribly wrong with her daughter yet unable to do a thing to help despite her wealth and influence.

And yet despite that intimacy, there’s also this weird epic feel to the movie, one those early scenes in Iraq really sell, like we’re watching one episode in the long battle between heaven and hell. I don’t know how to quite put it into words. At any rate, this one is definitely worth the hype it’s garnered over the years.

[phoebehalliwell]

okay but if bianca was already like....5/6/7 before chris was even born, is that the age difference in the "evil world" canon? or is it a weird thing with phoenixes + aging?

i mean,, i can’t think of a reason it wouldn’t be bc like. at that point we are still very much on track for a dark future chris has not made the change necessary to save wyatt as evident by the fact that when bianca drags his ass back to the future it’s still the dark future. so like. if we were to eliminate futureboy!chris from this timeline right now the future would carry on into the dark future where this age gap would still be there, and then obviously it’s still then in the altered/changed/fixed timeline bc like that’s the timeline we’re following. we already saw kid bianca and we saw chris y’know be born and exist. i don’t really wanna tinker with aging for phoenixes bc like. i feel like it just gets difficult defining the rules and figuring out how they apply all that how she ages into the future like this that and the other and then if you’re doing that you also have to take into account how they mentally age bc it doesn’t matter if bianca physically ages slower than chris so like idk they’re both physically 18 at the same time, she’d still mentally have 5 years on him which i feel like the only reason to change the way bianca ages would be to make this age gap less weird and that doesn’t quite do that if anything i feel like it makes it weirder if i were to add anything to the lore with phoenixes & aging it would be something to do with what happens when they die y’know like some “phoenix rising from the ashes schtick” and if i were to do that it would be like okay so this is just the origin myth i have in my head blah blah blah we have our og phoenix who’s a witch in salem and she’s just a normal witch seeing all these witch trials and is like ruh roh and this is an au where they actually like burn witches in salem but also an au where witches actually exist so let’s start there and she’s seeing all these women burned at the stake and idk maybe they got her coven or maybe someone ratted her out she knows the end is nigh so she goes out to seek some mythic phoenix and something something something or other idk she completes three great tasks and earns a phoenix feather and she fuses herself with the phoenix magic (thus giving her the phoenix mark) and then the witch hunters find her and burn her at the stake and uhh that hurts like a motherfucker an she ends up extra crispy and they’re like okay that was fun and idk everyone goes to bed for the night in their little puritan village as our lovely og phoenix’s charred body starts to slowly try to heal itself and basically drags it’s charred skeletal ass into the woods and lays there for three days and three nights as her body slowly starts to reconstitute itself blah blah blah give it a week and she’s basically a full human again and she finds that while she retained basic magic she lost her active powers blah blah blah she swears to get vengeance on those who wronged her and idk stick to the shadows somewhere along the lines she finds she can obtain new powers when she has her daughter (not her first bc she first was burned in the witch trials rip) her daughter is born with the same phoenix mark and no active powers and blah blah blah she becomes really really old as you do when you age something or other she’d like on deaths door and let’s say idk her house is burning down or something so she goes in to save something idk an heirloom or like her great granddaughter and saves her but like dies in the fire but wait what’s this once again a charred skeleton is trying to pull itself back together it’s the original phoenix and she’s now the same age she was when she was first “reborn” from the fire and so the first phoenix i’d say lived for probs a couple centuries just you know self immolate on her deathbed & be born again until she finally like tapped out you know lived a full enough life that she’s like okay this has been fun goodbye fr now But i do not think all phoenixes have this power (which uhh can really only be learned the hard way) i think maybe like three people tops (including our original phoenix) have this rebirth gift the rest like if you burn to death u burn to death end of story but this also then gave the phoenix traditions of a) burning their dead and b) a firewalk to symbolize the final steps into adulthood. and i do think there are some like really extreme crazed phoenixes (is that really the plural? okay google says the plural is phoenix or phoenixes or phoenices which are all fun imo) who do like think they’ve been blessed with this gift but it’s like. it’s all or nothing. you have to actually die in a fire to find out. so like. is it worth it? some people have said yes, but the answer is actually No. Okay All That Being Said yes i’d give bianca this gift bc she is Chosen she’s Special also i love her and think it’s sick as fuck so it’s like. she could have died in a fire when she was like a toddler or something blah blah blah and then let’s say when she was like idk six i guess she was stabbed? for some reason? we’ll say a demon and her mother, knowing that she was born with this gift promptly uhh lit her daughter on fire and then out of the ashes got a lil toddler again then that would put her at the same biological age and relatively closer to the mental age of chris as i image lynn would have wiped bianca’s memory a wee bit after all that But that is like A Lot bianca dying as a kid so i don’t think i’d do All That i’m just keeping them with a slightly under 5 year age gap (bianca’s a sagittarius born in 1999) and just give them the journey of Not knowing each other’s ages to bianca learning she’s like Five Whole Years older than chris and proceeding to tease him for being like a tiny baby child despite chris being like what 21 when he knows her she’s like oh sorry shouldn’t you be like studying for your sat or something? or idk they’ll be watching some movie made in like 2008 and bianca will be like oh didn’t this come out the year you were born? can you even legally drive? (no, he can’t, he does not have a driver’s license) bc like. it’s weird. they bridge the century y’know i think it really freaks her out that he was 2004 bc mentally she’s like okay you should be like 15? 16? but again it’s like i really want they’re relationship to be this slow burn so while they might meet when he’s like freshly 21 and she’s 25 going on 26 they probably won’t start dating for idk like 3-4 years so then they’re like what 25 and 30 which like. idk i don’t think is that weird. it’s like how in university undergrads will date grad students and there’ll be like a four year split but it’s not incredibly weird bc they’re both relatively at the same states in their life but like an undergraduate dating a high schooler is a major red flag bc they are both in insanely different places in their life like bro if ur dropping them off at their parent’s house & then driving back to your apartment you share w three friends like reassess. please. but i think in regards to chris & bianca and their age gap, when they meet they’re both relatively in the same “era” in life (is there where i mention chris is a college drop out bc he is) and when they grow they grow together

[mattness]

Space Dementia

Another chapter of my fanfic is here! Come to read now ^^

Chapter VII. He cut the distance to the man who intended to abuse Jennifer. With the force throwing him to the side, Robert angrily growled. For a moment he stared into the frightened blue eyes and whispered with his lips: "What's about to happen, you'll instantly forget." An incomprehensible radiance filled all around. The girl froze in complete stupor, appeared before her eyes blurred haze.

Maniac grabbed the knife, trying to get up. However, a strong blow to the trash can made itself felt. Robert quietly walked up to him and arrogantly looked. He often met such pathetic people longed to kill. Of course, Rob himself didn't do better than them, but he believed that he was allowed to do it, because in the human world he spent too much time. Robert thought it was some kind of payback. Grey gritted his teeth, knocking the knife out of the hand of the maniac and stepping on his fingers. He cried out in pain and horror, hearing the crunch of its own bones. "Who the hell are you?!" the man shouted, looking at him in fright. Robert squatted down, feeling the familiar and pleasant smell of fear begin to fill the alley. He gladly pulled the smell into the lungs. In mouth has accumulated saliva, and has awakened the most real hunger. Green eyes acquired ominous orange color. "Sorry that I hurt your pussycat, man. I didn't want it. Don't kill me!" suddenly this wretched man began to beg for mercy, noticing the dreadful change in Grey's face. But Robert didn't listen. With a single movement of his hand, he easily twisted the rapist's neck, and the loud crunch of bones filled the alley again. Robert bent down to the dead body and exposed numerous sharp teeth, starting with pleasure to tear off one piece of skin after another. Taste of human meat intoxicated, and blood splashed in different directions. It stained his face and blue scarf with black coat. The hunger grew with each bite, but Grey remembered that there was still Jennifer, who was under the influence of his hallucinations. And the more she stayed in the white void, the more her mind weakened. If he didn't stop, the girl that he for some reason decided to track down and find (and rescue) in the end will still die. Robert somehow managed to wake up. The hunger receded, and wiped his bloody chin and mouth, the man rose to his feet and looked at the torn face his another victim.  "I'll be back to you later", spat out an ear cartilage and said Robert, and dragged the body to the trash can where he dumped it. 

A veil before the eyes disappeared, and Jennifer was like waking from a strange dream, looked at Grey who stood in front of her. He smiled sadly, waiting for the numbness to completely release her. Wiping his hands and mouth again, Robert took a cigarette out of his coat pocket and lit it.  "Where..." asked Jen as Robert interrupted. "Run away. Could say I scared him."  The girl watched in disbelief at him, not understanding. The last five or ten minutes out of her head completely. Jen grabbed her head, which is unbearable sick. In her eyes everything were shaking, and the first step was given with great difficulty. Robert caught the girl in time, so she didn't fall to the ground. "You saved me", Jennifer exhaled, already picking up a bag and pepper spray from the asphalt. "Thank you." "It's okay", dismissed the man and held out her hand, quickly discarding a half-smoked cigarette and extinguish it with his glossy Shoe. "You're shocked. How about I walk you to home?"  "Don't", Jennifer shook her head and tried to make a move without him. But nothing happened. The body didn't listen to the hostess, who was ready to fall on the asphalt, but Grey caught her. He again managed to catch her and tightly hugged her. The girl gratefully looked into his big green eyes. From the realization that it is still worth to accept his help, it was a little uncomfortable. But she isn't have there options. Had to agree. An expensive car to go to the hotel, Jennifer refused. She still didn't trust him, which made Robert laugh. They descended into the subway and went into the half-empty carriage where sat down on the seat. The girl was clutching in her hands a bag, feeling her cheeks blush from embarrassment. In her head is spinning with many questions, who longed to ask her unexpected savior, but in the throat as if something had stuck. Grey tried to ignore the looks of people who were clearly puzzled by his appearance. The blood on the scarf the most conspicuous and the drops on the black coat, was practically invisible. Robert frowned, for the first time feeling uncomfortable with the attention from others. All the way to the hotel they went silently, each thinking about something different. Robert barely held back a gloating grin, because the game began to gain quite interesting momentum. He felt mixed feelings of the girl and was ready to swear that they were much more interesting than the usual horror and fear. Occasionally Grey glanced out of the corner of his eye at her, feeling embarrassed, which reflected on her face. He read her thoughts, heard literally every question that was going on in that clever head. But the girl remained silent, still being under impression of what happened in the alley. By the way, to find Jennifer Wright in a huge New York for him was not easy. The road had several times to eat, to gain strength and use his intuition. The missing people who were mentioned in the news, he gladly gnawed and carefully covered his tracks. The police will never be able to find these unfortunate people. And the kid that went missing a little earlier, he didn't even see and had nothing to do with it. After meeting a girl in the Orono Robert immediately felt it something that didn't give peace now. Yes, she might seem the most normal girl, unremarkable. Grey thought Jennifer would be just as much a victim as anyone. But he was necessary to dig a little in her brain, cloud the mind, and all the fun came to the surface. So the man now decided to get close to her, to find out what kind of devil stuff slept deep inside an innocent person. "My station", said Jen hoarsely, immediately coughing and clutching the handrail to get up. Robert woke up from his thoughts and helped the girl. Together they approached the door of the train and waited while it gradually slow down. The door opened, and Robert, putting an arm around the girl's shoulders, led her towards the exit of the subway. "Tell me where to go", Grey said suddenly, affectionately, and Jennifer more embarrassed. "Across the street and one block to the right", the girl explained, clutching his hand. Silently they got to the hotel, where they rose to the thirtieth floor. The girl opened the door with the keycard and went to the room, letting Robert. He began to study the room decor with interest. Still, here he was able to visit only in a small bath when he had to remind himself because Jen started to forget about him. Now future victim took off her coat, throwing it on a chair, and sat on the sofa. Grey closed the door to the room and went to the girl. "You're okay?" a common question that people often asked each other when worried about someone. He learned it quickly, just for a couple of centuries. Robert knew how to treat girls to get a good location. He often used it when he wanted to partake of the female flesh. But Grey never stretched similar occupation because it didn't bring any pleasure. He usually dealt with it quickly, but not this time. On the spot Jennifer could be anybody, but not every have something inside that would be interested in Grey. Perhaps the universal hunger affected him, and he only seemed that she had something devilish. Perhaps there was another reason. Robert wanted to deal with it as quickly as possible and end the girl once and for all. "I'm f... fine", said Jen quietly, running her hand through her hair. "Why don't you take a bath? After you'll feel better", cautiously proposed Robert. "I'll buy you something nice with the coffee." The girl nodded and went to the bathroom while Grey picked up the phone and called room service. Once in the bathroom, Jen locked the door and sighed wearily. Her head was still aching, and the unexpected guest and the savior didn't allow her heart to calm down. The girl tried to digest in the consciousness of all that has happened, but it was only with great difficulty. She took off all her clothes and went into the shower, including the water. Warm jet began to caress body, washing away not only dirt, but and bad sensations with thoughts remains ready. On the sly became indeed much better. Jennifer relaxed, breathed out and framed the face under the water, closing her eyes. Soul became envelope a pleasant warmth with the realization that the savior was not some passing guy, namely Robert Grey. Of course, it was all too weird. But right now, Jen didn't really care. Maybe Tyra was right, and he's not as mysterious or as crazy as he might have seemed the first day they met. She just needed to get to know him better. Now Wright was certain in is, that all still can change. She pressed herself against the wall of the shower stall, feeling tears begin to trickle down her face along with drops of water. Jen almost died today, and if it hadn't been for Robert, it would have happened. Now she's in his debt. Only Jennifer had no idea how to thank a man for saving her life. In the bathroom door knock sounded, and she suddenly realized that she had spent in the shower at least an hour. "You're okay?" Robert's alarmed voice could be heard. "Yeah. I'm get out", Jen shouted and turned off the water, wiping herself with a towel and then putting on her home pajamas: a black tank top and loose blue pants. She looked in the mirror, starting to comb black hair waving down to his shoulders. Sighing again, the girl came out of the bathroom and went back into the living room where else was Robert. He was distracted from his phone and smiled at Jen. She has drawn closer and saw on a coffee table a tray with muffins and a piece of crostata with a mug of coffee. "Do you want me to get fat?" she gently smiled, sitting on the edge of the sofa. "I thought you were already have dinner, so I only took desserts", Robert replied, scratching his head. "Thank you", Jen quietly thanked, smiling sheepishly. "Not for what", the man spread his hands and moved from the sofa to the chair. The girl took a mug and took a sip of hot drink. She closed her eyes for a moment, enjoying the wonderful taste. Then, taking a fork and a knife, Jen began to eat crostata. Robert with a faint smile, watched her, not daring to say anything. "Maybe you eat half of the cupcakes, and I don't eat so much", pushing him a plate of muffins, said the brunette. Grey agreed and in one fell swoop ate two cupcakes. The awkward silence that reigned in the living room, unpleasant pressure on Jen. So she tried to gather her courage and, looking at the man, decided to ask a question that endlessly turned in her head the last two hours and didn't give rest. "How did you find me?" "I told you that I'll be using some time in New York", reminded Robert, leaving the dish with only two of the muffin. "How did you know where I was?" didn't calm down Jennifer. "We didn't even call each other." "I have my sources." "Did you follow me, or what?" the girl frowned, feeling how indignant she was. "How long?" "I wasn't following you. I just asked for the address of your work. If I did, I'd probably know where the fucking hotel you live in is", angrily said Robert, trying to take a breath and continued calmer: "Today I wanted to go to the publisher and invite you to dinner. But you ran so fast, I didn't even get a chance to call you." Jennifer listened silently to him, knowing that she was wrong. "I almost caught up with you as you turned into that damn alley", he explained, frowning. "Thought a few times before moving on with you. And when I did, I saw that idiot coming on to you. That's all." "Okay. Sorry", the girl looked down guiltily, already moving the empty cup and plate away from her. She rose from her seat and went to the window, pondering every word Robert had said. Still, Jen really got excited for nothing. It's necessary to thank the person for the fact that he saved her life, and not to run over for what he happened to be near and so on time. Jennifer turned and looked at Grey, who sat back on the couch and tried to turn on the TV. In her head there was a very good idea, but given how the girl was embarrassed to translate it into reality will be extremely difficult. Jen sat back on the couch, carefully removing from the hands of Robert remote and putting it aside. Grey found stared at the girl. "Robert, I'm sorry", carefully the beginning of Wright, turning back eyes and removing a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "I didn't mean to hurt you. Especially after you saved me." He listened to her attentively, not understanding where the conversation was going. "I am grateful for that and realize that I owe you", on her cheeks made a little blush. "It's okay", Robert shook his head, noticing her getting closer. Misunderstanding more and more took possession of his mind, and to anticipate future events was extremely difficult. "The only thing I can offer you is the dinner you wanted to take me to tonight." Blue eyes finally looked at him again. In them Grey was able to see some obscure interest mixed with slight embarrassment. He was about to open his mouth to say something, but the thought slipped his mind when she decisively leaned to his lips. She covered them with a gentle kiss, and Robert was taken aback, looking surprised at Jen, who closed her eyes. The desire to push away the girl quickly changed to another — to try to answer. Confused, he closed his eyes and tried to do anything, feeling as his hands themselves lay back Jennifer. She continued, despite the fact that the kiss was too clumsy. The pleasant sweet taste of muffins on his plump lips began to drive her crazy, and the intoxicating aroma of cologne only doubled this effect. Jen knew that if now not to stop, for the innocent kiss followed by what maybe then they will both regret. Wright took herself in hand and stepped back, hearing a Robert's frustrated sigh. He opened his eyes and looked at Jen, which sheepishly smiled. In his head now happening kind of mess. All feelings and sensations mixed up from this stupid action on the part of the brunette. What did she just do to him? It seems that people call it kisses that bring them unearthly pleasure. That's just Robert doesn't understand what the kiss had caused in him. He never tried to get close to girls and receive kisses from them. It was never necessary. Now this was so... Extraordinarily. Strange, most likely. No hunger still not appeared, and his true essence was simply confused. "Why you... Why would you did that?" is a completely inappropriate question asked Robert, causing a nervous giggle from Jen. He realized the stupidity of the question, still not understanding situation. "Well, could say, so I expressed my desire that I want to continue to communicate with you", shrugged the girl, and Grey pulled a face, as if his mind visited is the most brilliant idea. He looked at his watch and got off the sofa with the girl. Jennifer noticed how confused Robert was. "Maybe you should go." "Yeah. Perhaps", he replied, smoothing his hair and taking a black coat with a scarf from chair. "You're bleeding..." suddenly noticed Jennifer on the scarf. "Oh, that... We had a little quarrel with the one who attacked you", Grey immediately found an excuse, putting on his coat and scarf. "I broke his nose and he stained me with his blood." Wright nodded and toward to the door. The man stopped in front of the girl, buttoning up the buttons and tying the scarf. He checked the phone was there and crossed the number threshold. Jennifer watched his every action, while large green eyes again and looked at her. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay?" now it was his turn to smile sheepishly. "Okay", agreed Jen, pursing her lips. Robert thought around for a long time, not knowing what else to say. He probably should have left as soon as she answered. But something didn't allow it. He again began to experience this strange desire to, which now forced bend over to it and to leave on their mouths timid a kiss. The girl didn't have time to answer, as Grey quickly turned and walked away to the elevators. In a complete stupor, she closed the door to the room, sighing wearily. At face appeared weak and at the same time happy smile. * * *  Again had to go on a stupid subway to the outskirts of Manhattan, where he left his car. Inside, everything still could not come back to normal. This is weird. So... human. Extraordinarily. Robert didn't know what to do when he had mixed feelings. Can, as only he again eat human flesh and satisfy hunger in another times, then all will be forgotten? He hoped so. To become a sentimental alien from another galaxy didn't want to. Still, on his planet was not like this, and to study the Earth every century became more interesting. Finally, he was in the right area and has already approached the dark Aston Martin, model DB11. Once in the car, Grey looked into the reflection of his eyes in the rear view mirror. Again they purchased the red color, and the inside slowly growing hunger. He knew that he promised to return to the body a maniac to finally kill him. Pressing the gas pedal to the floor, he turned the steering wheel of the car on the roadway. The car quickly headed down the road illuminated by lanterns. Robert frowned, noticing that the lane was surrounded by yellow police ribbons. Nearby there were cars of cops and ambulance. He thinks someone was passing by and noticed in the trash can legs that he should have stuffed there better. "Holy shit!" Robert cursed, with all his strength hitting his hands on the steering wheel. Noticing how one of the guards drew attention to the expensive car, the man immediately increased the speed and got away from this place. It seems that after a while he will have to go back to little Derry, in which the loss of people are always taken for granted, and the police could not get on his trail. Again have to sit in the house on Neibolt street, 29 and periodically go down the drain. He didn't want it so bad! But now it is better to lay low and wait until everything calms down, and then again to return to New York. After all, there was little Jenni here that he still wanted to eat. * * *  After that kiss with Robert was exactly a week, and Jennifer waited patiently for the call. Periodically she wanted to call and didn't understand why he didn't call the next day. But friends again and again tried to dissuade her. The girl continued to go to work, where she learned that in the alley nearby found the torn body of a homeless man. Wright very much embarrassed, suddenly remembering that it was in that alley she was attacked. But that man didn't look like a bum at all, or she just wasn't looking at him. Anyway, she didn't even want to think about it. Especially now, when she sat with Tyra and Margo in one of the largest bars in Brooklyn. Girls having fun spent the evening drinking and discussing everything. Jen gladly was relaxing, sipping red wine and listening friends. Margo talked about how she got a good job in Manhattan and how she immediately found someone there. However, this is not surprising. Tyra and Jen knew how often their friend changed guys. "Okay, okay. Enough, Margot, about your guys", Tyra chuckled, taking a glass of tequila and taking a small sip. "Better let Jenni tell us about her new boyfriend." "He's not my boyfriend", Jennifer shook her head. "Yeah, of course", exclaimed her friends in unison. "What about him?" asked Margo, with a sly smile. "He's name is Tom?" "Robert", Jen said indignantly. "Tom, Robert — it doesn't matter. Tell us." "Recently, about a week ago, he saved me from the jerk who attacked me in the alley", the girl was embarrassed, feeling her cheeks red. She still was uncomfortably to realize, that happened in that evening. "Then he helped me get to the hotel, ordered me dinner in my room." "Oh, that's interesting!" Tyra smiled, sitting closer to Jen. "And did you're have anything with him? Did you get him into bed?" "No!" Jennifer blushed redder, feeling like a little girl. "Then it's no fun", Margot snorted, settling comfortably on the red couch. "We're talked for a while, and then I... I kissed him", admitted the girl, smiling confusedly. "And it was... So strange and clumsy at the same time. Like he kissed a girl for the first time. But I liked it." "Still would you not liked it!" outraged Tyra, laughed. "She's found a golden Prince, who seems to be virginal and pure, and something else grumbles that he is strange!" Jennifer is angry with rolled her eyes, overlooking the, as phone, behind on the table, suddenly rang. On the smartphone screen flashed a familiar number, and his heart immediately skipped a beat, slumping down somewhere. She now felt themselves so foolish, as never before. Like she fell in love for the first time and was ashamed to admit it. The girl got up from the table and headed to the toilet. "Hey, Jen, where you're going?" Margot called out. "Back soon." The girl opened the door and stood in front of the mirror in the corner of the toilet, put the phone to your ear. She smiled, hearing a familiar voice. "Hi, Jen", said Robert. "I'm not distracting you?" "No-no", shaking her head Jennifer, not knowing what to do with myself from embarrassment. "I was beginning to think you wouldn't call." "I'm sorry about that. I wanted to tell you that I'm leaving soon for a while." As soon as he finished his sentence, the girl felt something inside painfully broke. The smile disappeared and her eyes suddenly dimmed with tears. What's wrong? A lump formed in her throat, despair seized her mind. And why is it always so? Why?! Why, when she has anything is improving in life, the emerging relationship with anyone immediately deteriorate? She didn't understand that stupid Murphy's law. Jen madly wanted to be happy, having not only a good job, but also a good man next to her. However, such queries as if the universe sent her away somewhere. "How long?" asked Jen, starting to learn the wall of the toilet. "I don't know. But we could see each other before I leave", Grey suggested, sighing heavily. "You don't mind?" "No. I would love to." "Nicely. Then I'll call you the day before." The girl didn't answer and dropped the call. Somehow reassured, she returned to her friends, which is already quite drunk and didn't notice the change in her mood. The rest of the evening and the night she spent in his own thoughts, often asking the same questions. She could not imagine that a black strip in her life had only just begun.

[minah-delacroix]

Cherries and confessions

Minah Delacroix - Paris, France 

Summer of 2015

The world of Minah Delacroix had been nothing but glamour and fancy soirées for as long as her memory allowed her to remember. For the young girl, watching men in tailored suits and women in couture dresses flock her family’s residence to swoon over her grandmother’s latest fashion event or to discuss politics with her grandfather, was a daily life occurrence.  Aged fifteen, Minah was regarded  -not without a certain degree of envy- as the perfect heiress for the Delacroix family. Among the exclusive circle of French ruling class, many wished their children had grown up to become such perfect prospects. And just as many couldn’t wait to be spectators of yet another high-society tragedy, when -and if- Minah happened to fall from grace after becoming one of those horrible teenagers who stumbled drunk at parties or liked to get experimental with forbidden potions.

That’s why la crème de la crème of French wizarding society had gathered that evening so willingly at the Delacroix Manor for ‘Le Bal Rosé’, an old-fashioned tradition the Delacroix family had kept for centuries to introduce the young women of the household to society. Minah had described the event, to her friends, as a celebration as equal parts wedding feast, prom, and cotillon where she would officially be presented to the French haut societé, just so her family could reaffirm their social superiority and prove that despite it all, the Delacroix attracted substantial public attention and its rituals continued to command near-universal respect. However, not everybody was there to show their respect to the family, some only wanted to criticize the lavishness of the event, the choice of flowers decorating the ballroom, or the dress pick of the young heiress.

It was not a shocker that the only grandchild of Duc Louis Pierre Philippe Delacroix, one of the richest men in Europe, excited as much admiration as it provoked resentment. Everything about Minah was graceful and delicate. Her every movement was elegant, her words rolled off her tongue with effortless eloquence and her beauty was unique and -as her aunts’ friends put it- ‘exotique’. Elizabeth Delacroix’s delicate fairness and Junho Kwon’s striking facial features had combined to create a peculiar beauty in Minah. She was slender, with long legs and beautiful eyes; her face was finely chiseled, her skin pale and her hair a unique shade of chestnut.  Minah was by any means, the perfect heiress for a household as honorable and prestigious as the Delacroix and so, everybody expected to see her reputation tarnished with one of those shameful scandals that made it to the headlines of heinous tabloids. People like the Oliviers, a wizarding family with delusions of grandeur and an openly recognized dislike for the Delacroix were sure it was only a matter of time before Minah’s image (along with her family’s prestige) crumbled, bringing shame and dishonor to her household.

However, in the modern world that most “mythological mummies” (like Johannes Casablancas called anyone older than thirty) didn’t understand just yet, falling victim of a real scandal took more than just a casual hook-up or a crazy party night. Kids those days were far ahead of their clumsy parents and above those ridiculous life-shattering scandals that seemed to have been pretty common in the past.

“Teen pregnancies are for dummies and uneducated Americans” Jane Durand scoffed as she put away the latest issue of “Witch Cosmo” with a disgusted face. The girl had been lying on the carpeted floor of Minah’s study room for solid twenty minutes, kicking her legs up in the air as she chewed a strawberry flavored bubble gum whose scent now lingered in the air mixed with the fragrance of the freshly cropped lilies Julien had gifted Minah and the seawater smell of his perfume. “What can’t adults understand about protection and contraceptives?” She inquired, glaring at the magazine open to an article titled ‘Why abstinence is the right choice for young witches?’

Her comment made Antoine de Lapin, her best “guy friend” blush like the inexperienced teenager he could’ve been if it wasn’t for Jane’s willingness to teach him one or two -or dozens- things about women. Sitting on the desk, he fidgeted nervously with the silver wristband Minah had gotten him for his birthday a few weeks ago and avoided looking at Jane or Julien, who was clicking his tongue at the blonde’s rambling.

“Don’t tell Minah her aunt gave us that magazine or she’ll avoid us for the rest of the summer out of pure embarrassment” Julien warned, although he didn’t really believe his friend could keep her mouth shut about Minah’s grandaunt, Adelaine, trying to give them ‘the talk’.

“You aren’t worried she might feel strongly inclined to follow that advice, right?” Jane retorted, eyeing the open magazine once again, this time with a huge smirk crossing her lips.

Before Julien managed to scold Jane for even suggesting his words held anything other than sincere preoccupation for their friend, there was a loud thud. The three friends immediately turned their heads to find Johannes Casablancas lying on the floor, eyes narrowing in pain after failing to properly climb the last step into the room, through the open window, and landing on his bum.

“Ugh. I did not need that mental image” The guy skipped any greeting and frowned, turning to give Jane a severe-looking glare. Johannes Casablancas was the eldest of the bunch and by far the most judgmental, although Jane liked to point out, whenever the opportunity arose, that he was also the most experienced and a hypocrite.

“Why? Does the image of Julien wanting to-” Jane made a popping sound with the gum in her mouth “-Minah’s cherry disgusts you?”

In unison, the three boys turned to look at Jane. A mixture of reproach and disgust replacing their usually undisturbed demeanors. Johannes scrunched up his nose and Antoine looked frankly scandalized, but Julien’s face twisted into a grimace that made him look as though he had just been forced to swallow a lemon whole.  If anything, Jane had always believed Julien’s problem was how much of a prude he was. Otherwise, he would’ve probably been dating Minah for months and her best friend wouldn’t have to make all those questions she had been asking lately about her virginity-loss experience.

“Ugh. How charming, Jane!” Johannes snorted “Where did you pick those euphemisms fr-?”

“How can you even say that, Jane? It’s our best friend you’re talking about, not some fictional character from those books you read!” Jane chuckled at that, frankly unbothered by the way Julien’s voice went up “Don’t ever repeat that again, especially not in front of Minah.”  As complacent and forgiving he usually was with the blonde’s slips of the tongue, Julien looked truly offended this time. The way his jaw locked and his eyebrows furrowed only proved Jane she had really crossed the limit of what he could bear.

An odd feeling of pride filled up Jane’s chest as she rolled eyes at the boy. Then, a brief, but uncomfortable silence settled over the room.

It was brief because a few seconds later the door flung open and Minah Delacroix materialized into the room, cheeks flushed pink and panting as though she had just crossed the finish line of a marathon.

“What happened?” She inquired, looking perturbed by the obviously charged atmosphere. Julien made an attempt to smile at her, but he was interrupted by Jane.

“Nothing, just Julien being a pru-“

“What’s that?” Thankfully for everybody, Antoine de Lapin was tactful enough to stop Jane from splurging her nonsensical comments. Instead, he pointed at the package Minah was holding with force against her chest.

“Oh, this…” There was a moment’s worth of hesitation from her part. “Uhh… This… Nothing!” Minah stuttered, hiding the package behind her back. “Just one of those gifts from my grandparent’s business partners”, she said once she managed to pull herself together.

“Wrapped in a paper from the Owl Post Office?” Johannes asked from behind her, forcing the young heiress to turn on her heel, slightly startled at his unannounced presence and even more unwanted question.

“No-“ Minah shook her head. She didn’t look very amused about Johannes almost causing her a cardiac arrest. “When did you even get here? In fact, why did you come this late, the party is almost over.“ She complained, anger progressively replacing her shock.

“I think that’s exactly why he came” Antoine enlightened, a soft laugh accompanying his words as Johannes gave a confirmation in the form of an energetic nod.

Minah turned to look at the oldest of her friends and her gaze traveled meticulously up and down as if to take in the full scale of Johannes’ appearance. Bulky leather jacket, dark jeans and scuffed leather boots, everything about his outfit seemed out of place in that room and the whole Delacroix Manor. Minah was almost relieved he hadn’t shown up earlier, otherwise, Aunt Adelaine would’ve gone through a second near-death experience in less than a day. The first one being Minah’s choice of dress. A long, but almost transparent Dior gown with a daring low cut that revealed the creamy milk of her skin nearly down to her navel and allowed her to show off her long and toned legs.

“Well, at least you didn’t ditch us for the next girl in your list” Minah let her guard down and sighed resigned, plopping onto the sofa Louis XV, a family relic.

“So while you were gone, we were planning our next night adventure-“ before Minah could react, Jane snatched the mail package resting on her lap “Aha!” She looked triumphant as she read the name written on the box. “Lee Sungjae!” She said out loud, ecstatic as if catching one of Minah’s lies merited her a Medal of Honor.

“Who’s that?” Julien wished his words had not come out as reproachful as they did, but he had already jumped to his feet and strode toward Jane to see the name with his own eyes.

“He’s just a friend,” Minah said wearily.

“I had no idea you had friends outside us four” Johannes also joined Jane and Julien on the task of inspecting Minah’s mail. “Oh… nice handwriting, it seems like he put a lot of effort-“

“Oh, come on, give it back!” Minah protested, jumping to her feet.

“How come we’ve never heard of this Sungjae?” Julien asked trying to sound as casual as ever. It made Jane chuckle, but Minah was too flustered to notice.

“He’s a friend from England. Goes to Hogwarts.” She explained, snatching the package from Johannes’ hands.

“Oh… a Brit…” Julien wrinkled his nose in disapproval.

“So why is this Sungjae owling you? Good news? Is he probably coming to visit this summer?” Jane asked question after question, earning herself a glare. “Oh, mon Dieu! Minah, is that why you’ve been asking me about how I lost-“

“Jane!” Minah gasped scandalized, raising her voice a bit too high for what it was considered appropriate and ladylike in the Delacroix Manor. Everybody flinched, half out of surprise and half out of the sheer volume at which she had screamed. It was almost a miracle Aunt Adelaine had not appeared in the room to scold Minah for her inobservance of social protocols.

“But-“

“No.” Minah cut her off “Sungjae is just a good friend, I asked him to send me a book I couldn’t find here and he was kind enough to do it. That’s it. That’s the story!” She picked the package and shoved into the first drawer of her desk. “Now, let’s get going before I regret it”

There was an evident contrast between the old-world elegance and luxury of the Delacroix Manor, its museum-worthy objects and the impassible facade of its residents, and the rawness, avant-garde atmosphere of Piscine Molitor, its concrete walls and the group of loud teenagers breaking In at night. Minah decided that after a long day of forced smiles and rehearsed greetings, she liked the latter best. Especially when Julien was included in the whole package; especially when times like those seemed to be about to slip through her fingers.

Despite the stress, the heartbreak and the uncertainty of the past days, Minah suddenly felt submerged in a perfect state of peace and relaxation. The soft nocturnal breeze had stilled and the moon hung bright over her head as the latest track Antoine had composed for the guys’ band played in the background. Minah had slipped into a modest jumpsuit that didn’t show as nearly much skin as her ball dress and was lounging on the chairs with a plastic cup of something that tasted like ten percent spirited water and ninety percent ethanol. At her right, Julien dressed in a pair of shorts and a simple sleeveless tee smoked a cigarette as though it was a heavenly experience, his lips sexily parted in a silent gasp as he released the smoke from his mouth. At her left, Johannes —still sporting his leather jacket—, chanted the lyrics of their unreleased song, high on his drug choice of the week. Jane was off somewhere, probably corrupting the morals of the only decent teenage boy she knew and Antoine… well, everybody knew Antoine was that boy.

“Were you talking to him the other day?” Julien’s voice suddenly interrupted Minah’s silent musings. There was evident confusion in her face, so he quickly clarified “The Brit… At my house, when you were whispering on the phone… were you talking to him?”

The young girl didn’t understand whatever Julien meant by that, but once she processed his words, her heart seemed to stop violently for a second.

“No, I was talking to someone else” The memory was still fresh in Minah’s head. It was her mother, but Julien didn’t need to know that because her mother worrying about her was a rare happenstance and it only led to more questions. Questions Minah didn’t want to answer at that moment. “No, it was someone else,” she said.

“I thought you said it was a friend”

Minah took a sip of whatever Johannes had brewed in the plastic cup. “Do we really need to talk about that?” She said dismissively, “You’ve never really been interested in my social life outside you four”

“That’s because we had no idea you had a social life outside us four” Johannes chimed in, before jumping to his feet and claiming he would look for Antoine, who had confiscated whatever muggle substance he had been getting high on.

Minah rolled eyes at her friend’s blatant lie.

“A someone, no gender, just someone?” Julien wasn’t usually so insistent, so Minah let out a frustrated sigh involuntarily.

“Yes, just someone I don’t see often and was delivering some news. Nothing important”

“A friend who lives abroad? Someone from our childhood? Do I know them?”

Minah had never thought a conversation with Julien Toubeau could ever become so unnerving, so she took yet another sip of Johannes’ cheap alcohol and rolled eyes. “Merlin, you’re not going to stop, are you? Seriously Julien, you four know everything you need to know.” ‘At least for now’ a voice spoke inside Minah’s mind. “So stop stressing and let’s better plan our trip to Montenegro. I’m seriously dying to see the Venetian Forts and-“

“I feel you’re hiding something from us” Julien almost sounded angry. “And you’ve never hidden anything from me” He added solemnly. Then he stood up, stripped his shirt off, tossed it on the chair and jumped into the water as if to avoid dwelling on the same topic (which he would have done, had not been for his dignified sense of pride).

Standing by the pool, Minah gulped down the content of the plastic cup as she concluded that Julien Toubeau wasn’t angry. He was disappointed. And somehow that was even worse.

It was past midnight when Jane and Antoine reappeared trying a bit too hard to look casual. Minah and Johannes, who had been sitting by the edge of the pool, drinking the remaining of the unlabeled bottle he had stolen from his father’s bar, only exchanged knowing glances and quietly went back to munch from the platter of red fruits and macarons that Minah had summoned from the Delacroix Manor —leftovers from ‘Le Bal Rosé’, probably—.

“What’s with this mood?�� Jane complained with a frown. The set of French muggle music playing in the background could barely be heard over the water splashing sound of Julien swimming his nth lap of the night. “And why is Julien acting as though he’s training for the Olympics?” She inquired with a darting accusatory glance at Minah’s direction.

“He’s just working out” Johannes shrugged nonchalantly. “You know Julien and his quirks”

No one bought that lame explanation, but Jane was particularly convinced that Julien didn’t really enjoy the nocturnal workout. The girl had the strong feeling that her friend was just avoiding Minah for some reason she was yet to know. And she wasn’t mistaken.

In fact, Julien Toubeau didn’t have any intention to talk to Minah for the rest of the night, so he thought it was more convenient to stay in the pool and save himself some pain and humiliation. However, the second he spotted Jane, Julien climbed out of the pool and joined his friends on the uncomfortable task of sitting in silence, which somehow resulted ironic if you considered the animated music playing from Minah’s phone. Antoine knew that Julien was just worried about Jane having another slip of the tongue, so he was closely keeping an eye on her, but he still laughed at the way Julien’s eyes widened when Jane opened her mouth to say something.  

“I’m getting bored here, let’s play truth or dare!” Jane proposed, ignoring the way Johannes’ nose crinkled in disgust.

“Hell no!” Minah jumped on her place, almost surprised her eardrum had not exploited at Johannes’ strident refusal. “Oh, no, no, no” He yelled again right into her ear. “I’m not gonna sit here for an hour while you make out with Antoine and Jules and Minah play coy. I’m out of it” The guy stood up and sat at the nearest chair. Jane pointed out the hypocrisy of his actions because he didn’t want to play, but he refused to leave and apparently he wasn’t against the idea of watching his friends make out.

“Voyeurism” Jane concluded, shaking her head reprovingly.

If she hadn’t been so high in alcohol, Minah would’ve probably recognized Jane’s proposal as the horrible idea it was, but she stayed on the same spot and picked one of the cherries from the platter of fruit, popping it into her mouth in a way that made Julien blush when he recalled his conversation with Jane earlier that day.

“I guess I’m in,” Julien said with pretended nonchalance, which seemed unnecessary since Jane had already caught him gulping nervously.

Ten minutes into the game and Antoine had already ended up confessing he sneaked out with Jane every night of full moon to stargaze, but everybody understood that was a euphemism for fucking under the stars; Julien admitted to using a little bit too much of his perfume when he wanted to make an impression which, Johannes pointed out, had definitely been the case earlier at ‘Le Bal Rosé’; and Minah was challenged to feed Antoine strawberries mouth-to-mouth. Naturally that last part had been an idea from Jane to get on Julien’s nerves and to continue working on Antoine’s confidence, but Minah had shrugged nonchalantly, lifting a strawberry from the bowl and putting it on the tip of her lips before leaning in so Antoine would bite down on it. The juice of the fruit dribbled over their mouths and before Antoine could realize the magnitude of the act, they had delved into a hungry kiss. The kiss could’ve as well lasted a minute or an hour, but when Antoine pulled away Minah noticed with fainting sensation that Julien was on his feet and before she could register he was moving, he had already turned on his heel and left fuming.

Minah found Julien hiding in the dimly illuminated comfort of the locker rooms. He already had a half-hearted insult cresting on the tip of his tongue by the time the young heiress slid on the spot beside him. Of course, he had been expecting to see Antoine or Jane, so his mouth went dry at the sight of Minah.

“Jules” The girl called softly, pronouncing that endearment name she had given him when they were nothing but kids. “What happened out there?” Minah inquired, watching him intently as Julien apparently collected his thoughts. He had known Minah for as long as he could remember and he had never succeeded at staying mad at her for too long, especially when she pronounced THE question he knew she was about to ask. “Are you mad at me?”

Julien felt an icy chill run down his spine as Minah’s gaze fixed on his face. She was looking at him expectantly with those beautiful eyes of her, blinking at his every slight move until he mutedly said “no” and buried his face in his hands.

“Jules…” Minah softly pulled at the sleeve of his t-shirt, forcing the boy to look at her “Why did you run away? You still believe I’m lying to you?”

Julien shook his head

“Then…” If Minah had been better at picking signs, she would’ve stopped asking questions right then, but growing up with Jane Durand had not been a particularly good lesson on subtlety. Minah tilted her head and placed her hands on each side of Julien’s face.

“I am jealous, Minah. That’s it!” Julien pulled her hands away from his face and before she could muster a complaint, he blurted “It was me who you should have been kissing. Not Antoine” Minah evidently wanted to chime in, but Julien took a finger to her lips, asking her to stay quiet. “I know we grew up together as family and I know you don’t see me as a boy, but I do like you Minah and today when you received that owl from whoever this guy is, I just felt like I’ve been wasting time and I was angry-“ He immediately caught the way Minah’s eyes widened and he hurried to add “but not at you, I can never be mad at you, I was angry with myself because I never seem to gather enough courage to tell you the truth, to tell you that I like you and-“

Minah gave Julien no time to complete his confession. She fitted her lips to his and kissed him with a soft sound of satisfaction that resembled a lot to a moan. The kiss started off gently, but thoroughly and Minah didn’t dare to move until she felt her whole body tingling. Julien kissed her back, simultaneously feeling a sense of floating and falling. He had waited for it for so long that now he could barely restrain himself.

“I- I- also- I - like- you- too,” Minah said, panting for air, once they finally pulled away. “I like you too, Jules. I thought you knew. I like you too”

Out of pure instinct, Julien got his arms around Minah, pulling her closer to him. His mind had gone blank and he could barely hide a blissful smile making its way onto his face, but Minah’s next words took him out of that trance.

“I know I will sound crazy, but that’s exactly why I want you to be the first one” Minah grabbed one of his hands and looked up to him with her round eyes, and long lashes batting. “I want to have sex, Jules-“ She shook her head “I mean, I want to lose my virginity with you”.

Minah was already overwhelmed with emotions and shivering beneath Julien’s touch when he pulled her up on top of him and kissed her forehead. He tightly clung to her naked body, wrapping his arms around her tiny waist and watching her with adoration. “Be my girlfriend?” His words came out in the form of a low whisper, causing Minah to tense up almost automatically. An older Julien would’ve never dared to ask a similar question, especially not after ‘deflowering’ the girl of his dreams in a soggy pool locker room. But the fifteen-year-old Julien was still too young and too whipped to understand why his question was so inconvenient. He was also too hopeful to anticipate what happened next.

Minah broke down in tears.

For a second, panic whirled through Julien’s mind. He felt disgusting and guilty at the mere thought of having caused Minah physical or emotional pain. He thought that he should’ve known better than to give in so easily to Minah’s suggestion. He should have told her to think through, he should’ve probably waited and planned a special night for her.

Was she probably regretting what they had just done? Was she revolted after loosening her strict moral values? Maybe it was normal for a girl to bewail the loss of her virginity…

“I can’t, Jules” She said in between sobs. It wounded his ego.

“But-“ The boy let his arms fall to the sides, disappointed and humiliated. It was becoming a recurrent feeling whenever Minah was involved.

“It’s not you…” She interrupted, looking up to him with her rounded eyes glistening.

“No, of course not. It’s probably you, non? He couldn't stop the sarcasm dripping from his words, but Minah didn’t take the offense. Instead, she forced herself to smile at him as she reached to caress his hair.

“I’m moving, Jules” She looked into his eyes, so he would know she wasn’t bluffing or making up an excuse. “To London, at the end of the summer. They are transferring me to Hogwarts”

“Your parents?” There was a turmoil inside Julien’s head. He didn’t know what to say or how to begin, but words seemed unnecessary once he noted Minah’s eyes filling up with tears. “I don’t care. I will wait for you to come back”

“Jules, please” Minah let out a derisive scoff “You’re going on a tour with the guys. Chances are you meet someone and you want to date.”

“I won’t,” Julien said firmly, he ran his hands up and down her back and planted a sloppy kiss on Minah’s neck. “Not after this,” he said, pulling her closer to him, so he could feel the way her whole body responded to him.                 

“Jules, don’t be ridiculous. You know-“ Minah’s words died in her throat when Julien captured her lips in a heated kiss that made her groan.

“Why? Do you plan to meet someone else there?

“In Hogwarts?” Minah rolled eyes in pretended offense.

“Then, there’s no reason to worry” Julien skimmed his hand along her shoulder and up to cradle her head in the crook of his neck. “Whatever spell you’ve put on me will surely keep working until next summer, at least…”  He chuckled lightly, making Minah hide her face in embarrassment.

“Jules…” Minah called his name and hesitated for few seconds before daring to ask a question that Julien had also been meaning to ask —not as openly, of course— for some minutes now. “Can we make it again?”

Julien wasn't sure how they'd ended up there, but he was feeling like the luckiest bastard on the planet.

“Is that even a question?” Minah’s body softened into his while the fingers of his right hand slid into her hair and his free hand pulled her hips toward him.

They say that first times are always painful and messy. There is awkwardness and regrets and even disappointment afterward, but Minah Delacroix was actually glad and satisfied with every step along the way. For one thing, she was glad she wore that lacy set from La Perla that aunt Aurelie had bought her as a birthday gift; she was also glad she bathed in floral essences before sneaking with her friends that night; but first and foremost, she was glad she had picked Julien to be the first man in her life, as cliched as it sounded. Although it had happened in the abandoned headquarters of what once upon a time had been the most stylish Art Deco building of Paris; although Julien improvised a bed on a sports mat. Although there were no candles or lilies or champagne for that matter.

[septembersung]

After Life

TVD. Post-canon. Damon, Elena, and an excuse to try out my own vampire fiction worldbuilding ideas in somebody else’s sandbox.

Spoiler warning: If you haven’t seen through the end of season six, you might not want to read this.

1/7. Til Death Do Us Part

Damon and Elena, human together at last, are starting their new lives together. Damon adjusts to being human again, and a new arrival in Mystic Falls bothers him.

The sun hurt. With his eyes still closed, the formless world was somehow dark and bright blood orange at the same time. He could feel the heat, heavy and thick, on his face and neck - it prickled.

Damon had never felt the sun that way, so intense, so intimate, in almost two centuries of vampirism. Every sense heightened, and somehow he’d never noticed that his daylight ring did more than merely prevent him from frying like a fish in a pan.

His phone rang, muffled under the empty pillow next to him. Damon launched himself up, and stumbled. No vamp speed - it was like being stuck in molasses. Irritated, he slammed his own pillow down on top of the pile to further muffle the obnoxious sound. Someone had changed the standard ring to a fast, tinny version of the wedding march.

The phone stilled, then picked up again immediately.

With a sigh of defeat, Damon slumped down on the bed, inserted his arm under the pile of pillows, and answered the love of his life with the most pained, wrongly injured tone he could muster. “You know, I would do anything for you. I would die for you. In fact, I’m pretty sure I did. But it is—“ he held the phone out to make sure— “Six o’clock in the morning, and I haven’t even had coffee yet.”

“Aw, poor Damon.” Elena’s sweet, mocking voice crackled as the signal jumped. “It must be so hard, being woken up too early, when your only human body is still so tired.”

“The things I suffer for you,” Damon sighed dramatically, tucking an elbow behind his head. “Now what is so urgent it couldn’t wait until coffee?”

“Nothing much,” his fiancé laughed. He imagined her leaning a shoulder against the wall as she talked, twirling the golden ring on her finger, the light flashing on its crown of diamonds. “I just wanted you to be awake and thinking about me when I get to my interview.”

“That’s not til eight,” he protested.

“But I have all this time to pass, alone, in this boring hotel room.”

“You know I wanted to come. It wasn’t my decision that stranded me at home.”

“If you were here, I’d probably never make it to the interview.”

“But it would solve the boredom and waiting problems,” Damon countered cheerfully.

“I’m just so nervous,” Elena confessed, suddenly serious. “Everything depends on this. What if they don’t like me? What if I screw it up and make a fool of myself?”

“Everyone likes you! You’re the sweetest, kindest, most stubborn woman on the planet.”

“Hey!”

“Well, in med school, stubborn also means driven and determined.”

He could practically hear her smile. “Thanks, Damon.”

“Well, now that crisis is averted, I’m facing my own. A caffeine crisis. As in, you’re keeping me from it.”

Elena laughed. “Far be it from me to stand between a man and his coffee.”

They were silent a moment, the white noise of the phone jumping between them.

He heard her take a breath, but before she could go, he jumped in: “I have a lead on a place there. If you’re accepted.”

“Really? Why didn’t you tell me before! That was a good reason for you to come.”

“Because it comes through old connections.”

“You mean…?”

“The v-word, yeah. And you said—“ Damon put on his best imitation-Elena tone, comically high pitched but firm and confidently righteous: “‘We do this my way. The human way. Our way. No vampires. No vampire leads, drama, or favors.’”

“Well, what kind of connection? Is it really worth it?”

“An old friend of mine owned a bar with a little place above it,” Damon said. “But he’s moving on. Willing to let the whole thing go for a song.”

“And it’s nearby?”

“Right down the street.”

A pause. “I’ll… think about it. Maybe we can see it.”

Damon found himself grinning. “You’re gonna love it.”

“I said maybe. And I should probably go… I need to prepare.”

“It’s an interview, Elena, not an execution.”

But she wouldn’t be swayed. “I love you, Damon.”

“And I love you.” Click.

Damon stared at the phone for a moment, then creaked into action.

He actually creaked.

Would he ever get used to this? To living in slow motion, to coffee in the morning before bourbon, to sunshine that hurt? He rubbed the still-pale band around his finger where his daylight ring had rested for so many years. The skin tingled, and he shivered. Would he ever get used to this… heaviness? As a vampire, every sense was heightened and intensified, but as a human, even with duller hearing and molasses reflexes, it was somehow… worse. He felt heavier, in some ways, and lighter in others. The inability to pinpoint the exact difference was infuriating.

Standing in front of the coffee pot, it hit him suddenly, solid as a baseball bat: this is the feeling of mortality.

As he poured beans into the grinder, something else fell out. A small folded paper. He’d completely forgotten - Elena had surprised him the other morning and it was the only convenient place to hide it before she saw.

In just one more month, they’d be standing in front of everyone they loved and committing their lives to each other. Damon had been trying to write his vows for weeks. Everything was inadequate.

I love you more than eternal life. I love you more than anyone else. I love you more than myself. I love you more than I’m afraid.

The coffee percolated.

I died for you once, and I accept the inevitability of a human death for the chance to spend a human lifetime with you.

Something was niggling in the back of his mind, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

You are my life, Elena.

She wanted a real, human wedding, a perfect day, with romance and dancing. And he wanted to give it to her. But their track record with special events was… not good. And what could he say, that would live up to the moment?

He filled his mug, breathing in the grounding aroma. Irritated with himself, Damon stalked to his bar, staring at the full, tempting decanters. Every morning, the same thing. Make coffee. Smell coffee. Resist the urge to exchange it for whiskey.

You’re human now, he told himself. All-day drinking in humans is called alcoholism and leads to liver failure. And - memory flashed - day-drunk is not your most attractive look.

You’ve failed Elena enough for one lifetime.

One lifetime.

That was it - the niggling memory. What had the creepy guy said? That odd morning flashed through his mind. How long ago now? A couple months, maybe. Just as they were finishing building the new church on the edge of town, right before he proposed. He’d been out for a walk, just to get away from people. Past the cemetery, past the road to the original Salvatore estate - he’d walked faster - near the construction site. He turned down its dirt driveway, eyeing the brick, stone, and scaffolding. And there was some kind of Jedi wannabe or something - an old man with a long white beard in a blue and red robe, of all things, flat on his back in the middle of the road.

“You all right?” he’d called, strolling closer.

“Perfectly,” the old man replied. He wore a deep hood, and his face was shadowed.

Damon’s heart pounded. Memories of other roads, dark nights, threatened to flood over him - he shoved them away.

He came closer, until he could see the man’s green eyes and tanned, crease-worn face.

“The church will be finished next month,” the old man said conversationally, unmoving as a stone. His eyes stayed fixed on the clear, bright blue sky above.

“Good for it?”

The old man didn’t say anything else. Damon turned on his heel, heading back the way he’d come.

“That’s what the construction company says,” the old man said. Damon paused. “And they’re right, as far as it goes. But a church isn’t built in a year, or even a century. Like anything true and good, it takes exactly one lifetime.”

“Whatever you say,” Damon replied over his shoulder with a short, dismissive wave of his hand, and kept moving.

The doorbell rang, startling him. That was the worst part about human hearing - not knowing who was coming before they announced themselves.

When he got to the door, there was no one in sight, but a flyer had been stuck through the door handle. Most Precious Blood Catholic Church Welcomes You, the headline proclaimed in bold red letters. In smaller, darker type: The Servants of St. Michael open church and hospital in Mystic Falls. And there at the bottom, was a picture of the old man in the red and blue robe. Fr. Cyriacus, SSM, Pastor.

Damon threw the flier in the trash and went to take a shower.

[lovepeacefaithjoy]

9Contreversal #question #about #Lgtbqrstuvwxyz?

#It's a #hot #topic #period.

#Constitutional #Law #Act

#Freedom #of #Equality

#my #topic of #discussion

#Christians #all #religion.

#Ouc #all #Pastors.#World #Motivational #Speaker #Tyler #Perry.

#so in the Bible it says Adam and Eve #in all Bibles it's written I different ways I believe it became watered down once Satan learned about the Bible .and put to by the time you get to the last version of any Bible theres not much info to help .like the king James Bible version. Remember.#Constitutional #law #act

#Freedom of #Religion

#Freedom of Speech

#Freedom of #Privacy law act

#Freedom #Of #Equality

#Freedom of Choice.

In Genesis it talks about God making Adam and Eve in his own image.

Now the things that are going on with 2 men to woman. That's not my place I will tell you what it says in the Bible politely but first I ask what happened. There not like that just poooffff There Lgbqrstuvwxyz. Are they fr people. When I went to there he 14+ years ago. MDD and her crew tried to turn me inside out.its not a mistake. It's MDD hs reunion everything they didn't get to do to me in HS they've been trying to do it over the past 8+ years. I know how you feel in a sesence. Woman with male part like Pastor MC daughter MDD had in 9th grade before I took it off. I will never do that surgery again after what she did to my family after I did that for her. And almost making my aunty loose her license 13+ years ago. Now I don't know what's on MDD biscuit I would say. But I'm not in love with you MDD. Let's get back on topic. I'm just saying the tried to make me indulge in all there nastyness demonic stuff I refused Everytime.so I understand how my 2 cousin must of felt and I'd feeling making that choice. I'm not going to tell peoples business. I'm telling you the cooperate that did to the world is rockaway people.from queens NYC the other side of town where no one goes at.as Iwent strolling with someone I will never tell. It wasn't #Tyler #Perry he's straight. But ND and he's sons indulge in that and his daughters for he has many around the world.

#as the contrevesy of all people need to here about Jesus Christ is plain as day. Alllll.that includes lgtbqrstuvwxyz. It's not my place to judge on that part but it's wrong what the #Fr people did to the #Ltbqrstuvwxyz. Then they have the audacity to make homophobic at the same time. Not the ones that are quoting the Bible and telling the truth. Bit those that kill target #Ltbqrstuvwxyz people .it wrong. This is my opinion tho. I'm not against God or the church. I'm against how it was done.those people shouldn't of went through those things. You can't be born #Ltbqrstuvwxyz.in the Bible it says don't. In the law it says it ok. It the way the world is today. My thought is I respect you. You respect me and thats my thought on that for now.the fr people knowing who all the Christian people are on social media platforms. And using it against people. Is why we say on social media platforms. And then they target you at work school churches gaithering events and they don't get in trouble for nothing .I don't think so. Thats not how I work. You will get in trouble for everything you've done for the past 8+ years and then sum. Going to people's jobs knowing there a Christian causing problems then telling the media it's Injustice when the #Christian has there right and so does the #lgtbqrstuvwxyz . question how do you know the Christian establishments . Why did you target ball sda things that include food what we eat &what we where and who we make friends . Trying to force the world to make friends with you #fr .ain't going to work. We don't like you #Fr got it. #Bullying all youth in all grades #Fr is wrong on all levels you are older than us by centuries. Act like an adult. You ain't acting like a child . A child don't act like that they know right from wrong at a certain age.dont add people you don't know . .if it ain't your friend for real don't add them. It's not worth trying g to get famous fro fr people .have you ever seen what they did to every person they took on. Go look it up. It's not about fame a d fortune there using that as a way to prosititue you pimp you out turn you into a stripper or a gangbangers or a dealer.

[shamelessmilkshakepanda-blog]

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"Palmer Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 62556

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HELP! With Car insurance??????

OK so I lost my license because I got caught driving without insurance in September 2010. I just passed my test today. When I'm checking the quotes, the cheapest I have managed to find was 7400 for 1 year. That is for a 1.1L Peugeot 206 Insurance group 3. They can't expect me to pay that much for insurance for 1 year, I will need a mortgage for that. Does anyone know how much insurance will increase by after getting 6 points? I'm 20 BTW!""

What health insurance is low cost and fits my description?

Im a 24 year old female, employed, no kids, and not in school anymore. i have no health insurance and i have a lot of health problems but i coudn't afford to get insurance until now. I'm looking for a low cost health insurance with dental care. I've tried looking up different insurance but i dont know what category fits me. I saw theres a student option or something that has to do with ages 18-26 but i dont know what that covers. i have a hard time comprehending the description. Theres one for individuals where you either pay more monthly and get lower deductable or pay less and pay more for deductable. I'm at a total loss. can anyone tell me what is my best option and what insurance should i get?""

How much on average is insurance for a citroen c2 for a 18 year old?

I saved the money for my first car finally and i love the look of c2's. i was just wondering the average price of insurance if its my 1st car, i am 18 and was thinking about ...show more""

Does anybody know cheap autoinsurance company????

Does anybody know cheap autoinsurance company????

What is UPS waiting period for health insurance?

How long after being hired as a permanent part-time employee do you have to wait for insurance to kick in?

How much is car insurance in schaumburg illinois?

How much is car insurance in schaumburg illinois?

How much does it cost to insure a new driver?

How much does it cost to insure a new teen driver? My insurance company sent me a sample price, and it was 5,000 for a six month period on a 2010 ford, and 3,000 for a 2008 toyota in the sample, so my question is, how much less would it be to insure a peice of crap car? Like a 91 honda""

How much is health insurance for a baby?

Ballpark please, don't need exact numbers. Teen parents, how much is health insurance for the baby gonna be?""

Insurance if your already pregnant?

I found out a week ago that I am pregnant. The trouble is I don't have any insurance. I want to make sure I am in good care and don't really want to go some place that will treat me wrong. Anyone know of any insurance companies willing to pick up a already pregnant person? Please help! any answers would do me good! Elaine

How dos US car insurance work compared to english car insurance?

I'm looking to get a bmw x5 but insurance is 9000k a year like $13000k I heard they do it different so its easier to get bigger cars. In england they don't allow young drivers to get big cars so the insurance is expensive How dos us car insurance work

Does anyone know of affordable family health insurance?

i need an affordable family health insurance

Do i need insurance to mot a bike?

also will the mot service station ask to see my licence?, how much does an mot cost, and how long do i have to wait? its a honda cb 500. thanks""

Car insurance 15 year old with 4.0 gpa?

my son is going to turn 15 i wanted to know what it would cost and what options i have

Im going to be in Wisconsin my friend has a car for me..can i get insurance to cover me there?

Im going to wisconsin for their summer and my friend im staying with has a car i can use for the period im there. im 21 is there a way for me to get covered by insurance for the 4 months im there? Im from New Zealand. Thanks

Is motorcycle insurance expensive in southern california for an 18 year old male?

i want to drive a motorcycle, but if the insurance is too expensive, then ill refrain from it. How much is it for a male, 18 years?""

How much is no fault insurance?

I want to get the cheapest insurance, How much is no fault insurance in Michigan""

Does a car need insurance if it isn't being used?

My mam bought me a car as my test is in a weeks time, but im trying to tax the car as it has been declared as off the road. When i try to tax it, it is asking if the car has valid motor insurance, it doesnt as nobody is driving it, should it have insurance if it isnt being used?""

Does anybody know of a cheap insurance company for eighteen year olds?

I just turned eighteen and I'm looking for car insurance since what I'm paying right now is really high ( 290 for minimum) Everywhere else I look wants like 1000 dollars a month for minimum coverage thats crazy how can anyone afford that? Are there any good companies in specific for someone in my position?

Can anyone recommends a good and cheap car insurance in CA? Thanks

Can anyone recommends a good and cheap car insurance in CA? Thanks

Cost of motorcycle insurance?

Hi, I passed my CBT in february 2011, so i have been riding for under a year, on a honda cbr 125. It was around 250 for third party. I'm looking to buy a better quality 125cc motorcycle before doing my Standard Motorcycle Test some time in 2012. I'm looking to get my hands on a 2008 (or there abouts) yamaha yzf r125, as i believe this is a high performance 125 that will be able to indure the 100+ mile journies i will need to make every few months. I will need better insurance on a bike like this - Third Party Fire and Theft preferably. So my question is, can someone who has owned a yzf r125 tell me what they paid for insurance so i can get a general idea of what i'd expect to pay? Thank you for any contributions!""

How to explain therapy on health insurance application?

I graduated from a University of California last quarter and now I'm applying for health insurance. For my last year as a student, I took advantage of the counseling services offered at my school. I took part in therapy because it helped me get through the stress of an extremely difficult course load during my last few quarters. To be honest, I would not have gone to therapy if it hadn't been 100% covered by my student health insurance. I was never prescribed any medication, I'm not seeing a therapist at the moment, and I don't intend to start seeing one again any time in the foreseeable future. Obviously, I have no choice but to write that I've seen a psychologist for mental/emotional reasons. The question is how do I explain it so that it causes the least harm to my application? Do you think this is something I should be concerned about?""

In North Carolina...How Do Get A Car && Insurance??

In What Order Do I Have To Get A Car My Licence && Insurance??

Palmer Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 62556

Palmer Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 62556

""I'm looking for fullcoverage insurance that is cheap ,but i'm under 25 so what is the cheap campany around?""

Ft.worth ,bedford,euless hurst?""

How much is insurance on a jeep wrangler for a male beginning driver?

Is anyone a male driver around 16 who drives a jeep wrangler and knows how much on average the insurance will be?

Buying car insurance for a used car?

im buying my first car, used. and all i have knowledge from are from the internet. i live in California. when i see tv commercials, i often see the buyer being able to purchase their insurance when they are on the CAR dealer. my question? when is it do you get insurance? BEFORE OR AFTER YOU PURCHASE A CAR? also when getting quotes online, you have to add the car that you OWN, so im guessing you have to buy the insurance after AFTER?, BUT the policy seems to start the day after you purchase your insurance, so does that mean your driving the car illegally for a day?? if you were to buy the insurance (online) before and have to add your car, im guessing you have to be SET AND SURE you are getting the car when your policy starts? none of my friends knows about this because their parents own it and they don't care about their insurance... im so confused. help me.""

Car Insurance? best option?

I recently have came back from a trip abroad, and well. I'm looking into car insurances and seeing if I can get any better deals and what other way than the internet! So here's a little about my Insurance right now. I'm paying about 761.82 every 6 months for just liability. I recently got into a small accident last year which raised it about 100$.00. Even though all that was repaired was his fender. it' whatever. I'm 19 and I drive an 01 PONTIAC Sunfire SE So you think this is enough or am I paying too much? Oh and I'm with GEICO""

How much is insurance for one day on a Rental Car?

I will be renting a car in April to pick up my fiance who will be arriving about 5 hours away, So I will be driving the car for 10 hours that day. I do not have insurance of my own so I will have to get some with the car that I rent.. about how much will it cost for the insurance? The car costs about 35$ for the day.. Thanks!""

What company provides the cheapest car insurance?

The cheapest I've found for a 20 year old male driving a jeep cherokee is 974 6 months paid in full on the general car insurance. Are there any cheaper places?

Im 17 and this will be my 1st year driving & i will be on my parents insurance how much will it cost me a mon.?

i live in charlotte

Drivers test question - Getting insurance before taking the drivers test is required. where is the cheapest?

Hello, I am 18 years old (turning 19 next week) and I am ready to take my drivers license. But before taking my driving test, It is required that I have insurance for my car (my dads car). So, I was wondering - where can I get the cheapest car insurance in California? I did check on Geico, but their alittle too expensive. PS: my permit expired by July 19th, so I have to hurry. So please, help me out! even the slightest information can be very helpful! Thanks""

What's some places to check for cheap auto insurance?

I got a letter from geico saying that I get special deals cause I'm phi theta kappa. This is Geico's quote: Your monthly premium is: $43.19 for a 6-month policy. That is only $229.10 for 6 months. Is that actually a good deal? It's probably high because I live in a big city, but I would like to find something cheaper. Where else to look?""

How much would an urgent care visit cost with out insurance for strep throat?

I live in California, and I have strep throat. I know that OTC don't work to cure this so I need to go to urgent care. I'm most likely going to go to Kaiser...help please!""

How to get Cheap Car Insurance at 17?

Hello, I have tried everything to get chear car insurance at 17 but it seems to stay in the 2500+ Area.... How can I get it cheaper? I have had my license for a month but feel frustrated that I can't get a car because the insurance is too high!! Can anyone help?""

Classic car insurance for 17 year old?

i really wanna drive, and i dont really have a taste for most modern motors. so ive been looking at an 80's mk2 fiesta. i think its a sweet motor, a 1.1 is a good size engine for cost cutting and the XR2 models look like a great starter/driver car. though a look alike would be fine! problem is i cant find classic insurance that will insure a young driver on a classic insurer policy. any help, names i should call? all help appreciated!!!""

How much will my Car Insurance go up after first DUI?

I'm 20 years old and got a DUI. I am under my moms insurance plan and her plan has house and car insurance combined. I drive a 4 door SUV(slow) and have never gotten a point towards my license. She is covered through ALL STATE. How bad do you think this is going to be?

""Boyfriend totaled my car, i have a $500 collision deductable on my insurance?""

my boyfriend totalled my 17,000 car. the car was totally paid off and i have $500 deductable for collisions on my insurance,. he has liability on his insurance. does anyone knnow what will happen from here, since he was driving i dont know for sure what insurance covers and what i will have to pay""

Does it cost more to insure a car with no airbags?

I was thinking of buying a 1986 mustang gt, which has no airbags, would that affect the cost? I was going to put aftermarket Sparco front seats with 4 point safety harnesses in for safety, also would that decrease the insurance rate since I'd be making it safer? Or is it just dependent on car, age, etc.""

How many babies will citizens be permitted to have once costs are fixed through insurance mediums?

How many babies will citizens be permitted to have once costs are fixed through insurance mediums?

Dad wont pay for insurance?

I went to school today to get my parking permit and I needed a couple of things including a copy of my insurance and my registration. The problem was that my name wasn't written on the insurance card but Im still insured under my dads name. I told him about it and he called the school, after that he called me and told me not to talk to the people that were in charge of giving out the permits because my name wasn't under the policy it was just that car that was under it and who ever drove it was covered. He also said that he doesn't want to pay 1400 to add me on the insurance even though he makes 6000 a mont, and the last thing i want to do is park my car in the neighborhood next to the school if i did that there would be no point in getting a car. I need help what should i do this is stressing me out!""

How will the affordable healthcare act affect the unemployed?

I have a friend who is unemployed and living under my roof. They're not being claimed by anyone (over 21, not being claimed by parents or myself). They're not in school. They receive no income whatsoever. How will the Affordable Healthcare Act affect them? Will they still be required to get health insurance? I'm sure, legally, the answer is yes, but how will the government *know* they even exist?""

""If I cause $1000 worth of damage to another car, how much is my insurance premium going to go up next year?""

If I cause $1000 worth of damage to another car, how much is my insurance premium going to go up next year?""

Car insurance. A question about car insurance.?

Hey people. So I haven't brought a car yet. But I was just on the car insurance site today and I decided to fill it in and get an idea of what I may have to pay. And the cheapest I got was 6,241. Now my friend he's 18 years old and he passed he's test last week and has a 2 door ford focus that's not including the trunk/boot and he only pays 1,200 for he's car insurance and all I know is, that he is on somebody else's insurance that has been driving for years. Could anybody explain to me why my car insurance is gonna cost me 6,241 and he's only costs him 1,200. I'm 18 also by the way.""

About how much is basic auto insurance?

for a used 94 toyota camry in los angeles the main driver is 25 and has a good driving record.

""17 yr old in uk, looking for any tips to get cheaper car insurance.?""

looking for helpful tips to legally lower the price of my car insurance ie what company to go with, whether i should put my mum on my policy etc.""

Tricare/ER Insurance Question?

I lived in Arizona last year and still am in the Tricare West system (out of Luke AFB), although I now live in Ohio. I hurt my ankle several weeks ago and still can't bend it certain ways, and am beginning to suspect a hairline fracture...if I go to the ER (nowhere near any military facilities, especially not with hospitals), and put down my insurance company, will Tricare pay for it (including poss. X-rays) even though I'm still in the Tricare West system? Or should I submit the papers to get a PCM in the North region? (No matter what, I'm assuming I don't need a referral from my PCM to go to the hospital/get X-rays, is this correct?)""

Can you get car insurance when you're 17?

My parents have geico... and they're charging me a crazzzy amount. I know I can go to another company and get insurance cheaper but im only 17. Is there an agency that insures 17 yr olds without their parents on the plan... or whatever its called. I have my own car and everything i just NEED new insurance. PLEASEE. ONLY SERIOUS ANSWER BY PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT. thanksss guys!

Any car insurance agents out there? Or at least somebody who knows a lot about car insurance?

I will be driving on my sixteenth birthday if I can get a job, because I will be responsible for paying ALL of my insurance. How much am I going to have to pay? I drive a 1989 Chevrolet Silverado. Plus I heard good grades have something to do with it (sometimes), I have an A average. Help!""

Palmer Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 62556

Palmer Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 62556

Do you pay a fine if you dont have health insurance in the U.S.?

and in california? i heard that you have to have health insurance or you will have to pay a fee/ fine or something is that true? it doesnt make sense because people who dont have health insurance cant afford it but now there's medicare and obamacare so does that mean you are forced to have health insurance?

Health Insurance For Babies?

Hey there. I am 17 and I am about to give birth to a baby boy. I was wondering if anyone knew if my father's health insurance would cover the baby until I am 18, since I am still not legally an adult until July. If you have any answers or opinions, I would greatly appreciate it. =]""

When is car insurance invalid?

Is car insurance invalid if a car is neither taxed nor Sorned? I forgot to tax my car - is my insurance invalid until I renew it?

What type of insurance do I need to run a cleaning business in Michigan?

My son's teacher said that the preschool he attends are taking bids on cleaning there facility but you need to be insured so I was just wondering if anyone knows what type of insurance I would need to carry to place a bid. There current company is not very good cleaners and they want to hire me but I need insurance please help! but please if you dont know the answer please dont post! Thanks

""Someone backed into me in a parking lot, is this insurance company lying?""

Foreigners backed into my car in the parking lot, they had insurance, I called the insurance company and they asked for an estimate on how much it would cost to fix it, I did, and they said okay and that they would mail it on Friday morning. It's now Monday and I haven't gotten it. They are in a state not far from us. Is this insurance company full of crap or do I just need to wait longer? Thanks :)""

What kind of car insurance......?

do u have and how much do u pay a month

Car accident/health insurance question?

Hi guys, so here is my situation. someone rear ended me when I was yielding to other cars. The police came and gave her a ticket and he made us exchange information because he said the damage to my car doesnt look like its over $1500(thats the only time they issue a police report. I live in virginia).I hit my head and back pretty bad so I have been experiencing severe back pains and minor headaches. I have been seeing a chiropractor and putting all the bills on my health insurance. I got an email from my health insurance where they sent me a form for me to sign saying i will reimburse them from any settlement for health coverage that I get from the other person's auto insurance company. I havent signed/sent the paper back to them yet. Do I really have to reimburse my health insurance company??? the thing about it is, I am graduate student doing research(phd) so my insurance is fully paid for my the NIH at the beginning of the school year(so i personally dont make any monthly payments from my paycheck or anything). So do I have to reimburse my health insurance(GM southwest) for any health settlement i get from the other person's auto insurance company? I am thinking about getting a lawyer. is it really worth it? someone please help.""

Auto Insurance Claim.?

hi, i just got into a collision and it was my fault. the damages were minimal i know i am a auto body man myself. the other vehicle will be needing a bumper and right headlight +paint material+work hours (hourly rates vary by shop 25.-35.). i know my insurance will go up due to this collision but, i was planning on fileing a claim on sandblast on my truck i live here in the desert side of california and the free ways here can sometimes be very bad. i had painted my truck at my own shop about 7 months back my truck came out clean but, now its just sad there is little sand pits all over the front end not to mention the sides. Even after being in this collision, will i still be coverd for a sandblast claim?""

Health insurance for someone under 25 in Georgia?

I was told today that there is a new law in GA that states that if you are under 25 (whether a full- time student or not), that you can stay under your parents insurance. Is this true? If so, when does it take effect?""

16 year old looking for car insurance?

Hi, I am a 16 year old male living in California and I just got my license. What are some good, cheap car insurance agencies? Thanks.""

""DO MEMBERS OF CONGRESS HAVE TO GET THE NEW HEALTH INSURANCE? IF NO, THEN WHY NOT?

I have read on comments under articles on Yahoo and someone said they are required to get the same health insurance but i can not find this on any news article.

Best Health Insurance Quote for uk?

Can you Suggest me Good Place where I can get Quote to Life Insurance?

How to buy car insurance and get license plate?

I decide to buy a used car but I do not know how I am supposed to buy the insurance and get a plate? My friend told me to get some information about the car, get a quote from the insurance, purchase the insurance and get the place, then go see the seller to complete the trade. Is that correct? If it is, what kind of information do I need to get from the seller to buy insurance? My other friend who bought a car from a dealer said after buying the car he was given a temporary plate, then he went to buy insurance and got the plate later. So can anyone show me step by step how to purchase insurance and get the license plate? Thank you.""

My grandpas doctor wont sign an insurance for him to drive?

Im 17 and i live with my grandpa but i drive with his insurance. I changed the companies because of a rate increase and now they gave me a medical form for my grandpas doctor to sign that says hes ok to drive. I told the doctor i need him to sign it for me because i drive the car not my grandpa but he wont sign it what do i do i really need it. The doctor said my grandpa cant drive because hes 80 and he gets dizzy spells but i need it to drive asap

Ca insurance rates question ?

My car insurance for me is almost $300 a month !! I have the chevy cruz ! Im 18 right now how long will it be till my rates go down a bit ??

What are some good life insurance companies in New York?

I am looking for a affordable monthly life insurance company for me and my wife, I have multiple scelerosis as a pre existing condition?""

Motorcycle insurance?

Hey everyone just looking for some good places to go for my motorcycle insurance. I live in california L.A, county more east. Anyways im 27 no tickets anything for the last couple of years. i know you cant tell me a price but i was looking for places that have good deals and customer services. im just looking for liability. 2007 kawaski zzr. thanks guys.""

Can DMV revoke my license if I don't have a car or car insurance?

I called my insurance agent (btw I have non-owners insurance) to cancel my insurance policy and the agent told me that DMV could revoke my license if I do not have insurance. I talked to my mom about it and she told me that it was a lie, I also talked to my girlfriend about it and she says that she doesn't have insurance or isn't on her parents' policy and DMV hasn't done anything to her. I just want to reassure myself, or is it a better idea to call my local DMV office about it? Also, I am 18 and I don't have a car yet. The insurance agent told me that if I get a car and I am still with that policy I can add my car onto that policy without paying any down payment fee. I am hoping to get a car in 1-2 months, is it worth keeping the car insurance? I only wanted to cancel it since I do not have a car yet.""

Pregnant and no insurance?

Im 16, And im pregnant. My father doesn't qualify for insurance. and cant afford for insurance. I Live in California what do i do?""

Teen auto insurance 600$ a month WTF??

i just got my license today i'm 18 male NY completed drivers ed, i did a couple of quotes online for a cheap old beat up car like a 95 chevy caviler and most of them gave me three thousand dollar 6 month premiums, which is 500$ to 600$ dollars a month for a a piece of junk car! what kind of bull is that?? thats like a month of rent!!!!!!!!! someone should sue those corrupt bastards!""

""Auto Insurance, im swtiching companies but im worried about lienholder. Help?

i have Capital One as my auto lienholder and as of right now allstate as my insurance. I was sent a letter by allstate that they are going to cancel my policy as of 12/17 for ...show more

Selling a car without insurance?

I'm selling my car but my insurance expired one year ago since I moved out of the state and left my car at my husband's mom's. Now I want to sell it so posted it online and somebody wanted to look at it, so I asked husband's mom to meet with the guy. Then she says she would let him look at the car but since the insurance has expired, she wouldn't let him drive. I mean who would buy a used car without test driving right? According to her, if the buyer got into accident, I would get sued or something like that. Is that correct? She tends to say things she doesn't really know but she likes talking about legal issues. Does anybody know if she is correct or not?""

""How much do i have to pay to cancel my auto insurance, if the vehicle is parked?""

My vehicle is currently parked and has parking insurance, this vehicle has been parked for over a week now, but i currently found some cheaper insurance and i would like to cancel my insurance, how much will it cost me to cancel it.""

What do i need to get a car registered at a california dmv?

i called the office some lady told me only my id? im confused i thought i would need insurance and license but the lady told me different.. please let me know thanks

How much should i expect for insurance cost on a used 2005 nissan altima?

i know it varies, but can i get a range?""

Palmer Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 62556

Palmer Illinois Cheap car insurance quotes zip 62556

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/homeowners-insurance-quotes-36605-andrew-solomon/"

[fashiontrendin-blog]

The Planets Wrote Your January Horoscope, All I Did Was Translate

http://fashion-trendin.com/the-planets-wrote-your-january-horoscope-all-i-did-was-translate/

The Planets Wrote Your January Horoscope, All I Did Was Translate

Illustration by Cynthia Merhej

Happy New Year and holy Oprah! I just realized that part of what I love about Astrology Zone’s Susan Miller is that she speaks like a fourth “Mrs.” (there are three: Who, Whatsit, Which) in A Wrinkle in Time. For example, Mrs. Miller equated some celestial good fortune thing (I can’t even remember) to that of a joyful cup of hot cocoa. And then, to some sign who she imagined was asking, “Whyyyyyyyy” to a bit of life-related bull crap caused by the January 31st eclipse, she said this:

“The universe wants us to live a happy, productive life, and will not abide stagnation, so the universe sends an eclipse to test the strength of relationships and situations and to shake the status quo.”

I liked that.

She is also, Bob (the Builder) bless her, a bit long-winded. And no shit!* It takes an awful lot of words to pack a month’s worth of your life into a single horoscope seeing as it’s based on all the wackadoo planets and their various dramas.

But you’re busy! Who has time to read astrological novels? And speaking of the aforementioned shit, Uranus is both being one and doing some, I’m sure. Who wants to read about that? (Though I promise that when it comes to Uranus’s shit, you can handle it. At least Mercury’s out of retrograde.) So in an effort to keep January moving at a positive, forward-moving-into-the-new-year-and-your-best-self clip, this round of horoscopes is going to be a little different, themed around THE ONE THING YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO KNOW. There will hopefully be less poop references than there were in this intro (no promises about excessive parenthetical asides) although that has nothing to do with keeping the mystery alive and everything to do with my your tolerance of my humor.

And with that, en garde! Strap on your ice skates and let’s get started!

Capricorn

What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t decorate your proverbial locker right here in Horoscope Hall and proclaim to you, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!”

With that settled and out of the way, hello Capricorn nuts (great snack)! Susan Thriller says that “this will be an extraordinary month for you. Heavenly bodies are migrating to your sign at a scale you’ve never seen, including the Sun, new moon, Venus, Mercury, Saturn, and Pluto in Capricorn on January 16.” Per her, “this is your chance to get your way.” Or the HIGHWAY! Am I right? But what’s so bad about a highway, anyway?

Hit it, Tom Cochrane!

Assuming you don’t consider this the “sitting in traffic” equivalent of celestial predictions, you’ll be focused on your home next month and for years to come, apparently. That sounds awfully cozy to me.

January 6th and 8th are great days for friendship so tell everyone to text you then. Keep yourself unplugged until then. When it comes to charm, I’m pretty sure I just saw a toothpaste ad-quality sparkle beam off your tooth, because from now until the 17th you’re dazzling the pants off everyone. Your shine’s so sparkly I heard them calling you a Liberace jumpsuit from a mile away. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some keys(board) to tickle.

Aquarius

Fresh water Aquarius, I hear from my frood friend Frusan that you need a little vacation after your vacation! If you don’t know where to start, do what I just did: remove the first letter of words then add an “fr” to frem (see? “frem” instead of “them”) — for literally no reason. Do that in your work emails and see if anyone understands what you’re talking about. They won’t, and I typically don’t, so it’s kind of like being alone on a relaxing deserted island, until someone gets annoyed with you, I guess.

If confusing everyone is not your thing and you hate seeing the angry red squiggle of your computer’s inner editor shouting, “THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A WORD!!! STOP PUTTING ‘FR’ IN FRONT OF WORDS UNNECESSARILY,” then just try taking it easy until the new moon on January 16th, “when most of the solar system will be grouped in your twelfth house of solitude and reflection.” I.e. you won’t miss out on the party if you put your feet up for a bit and stay in. It’s too cold out there anyways.

Even though you’re chilling, now’s a wonderful time for your career, especially when it comes to new job stuff. Keep your ear hopes open around the 5th. Susan said the 6th too but that’s a weekend so byeeeeee.

Overall, this is bound to be a year of excitement, change, and growth. Susan said that. She baked those words like cookies made with love. I just put the oven mitt on and took them out of the oven.

Pisces

My favorite fish sticks! If you couldn’t relax in December, well guess the hell what? Now you can. January has you primed for straight chilling. (Join an Aquarius under the sea: they too have their feet up.) And please do chill all you want, but don’t forget your reflexes because–

Suz Mail coming in hot! “January 16 finds more than half the solar system circulating in your eleventh house of friendship and fun events, thanks to the arrival of the Sun, new moon, Venus, Mercury, Saturn, and Pluto, all in Capricorn. This configuration will bring new friends, invitations to groups, and happy experiences with friends, and for you, this will be the case.”

Okay! So it’s going to be all about the friendship for you this month, to which you may say, “I love my friends, but they do not help me relax. They are party animals.” That’s why it gets cold in the winter, silly fish! Do you forget because you live in the ocean? (So cool, by the way.) Mammals hibernate in the winter, especially humans! Encourage your friends to join you in a furry-leg filled rendition of how much cookie dough can we eat without getting so sick that we don’t want to eat the pizza we just ordered. Let me know if I can come.

Something else you might like to know before I pack a bag and head over is that, “Mars will tour your tenth house of honors, awards, and achievement from January 26 until March 17.” That means that if you were even beginning to think about feeling work-guilty about relaxing, now you have no excuse not to say, “You know what, I rule, and I deserve this nap.”

Aries  

First of all, Aries, in the name of a new year and therefore potentially a new monogram (why not!) I’d like to run some new nicknames by you and let all Aries vote in the comments. Do you like…

A) Aries David, like Larry David, but more Ram-like.

B) ArieZona Iced Tea, stylized as such to keep in line with the tall boy can choice of my youth — a harrowing stylistic decision given that I was unsure if it was more responsible to add the Aries’ standard ‘S’ before the AriZona Z (but I stand by it).

C) Faries, instead of fairies. A little less fun but it makes me think of FernGully, which I do only every so often, when looking for mullet inspiration.

Anyway, let me know in the comments below. All of this was a lead-up to tell you that sometimes, when it comes to horoscopes, I truly believe (though you wouldn’t know it) that less is more, which is why, Aries, by January 6, you will be a “virtual money magnet,” per Susan Miller, and you’ll reach “a major development in your romantic relationship.” If that doesn’t hint toward a similar vein as the Markles’ recent engagement photos and sound like a good time and a bottle of wine, then I don’t know what does.

Taurus

Thanks for getting the door, Taur! This month, I have to tell you, is all about travel for us. Just a whole butt and bucketload of travel! When I read this I was like, listen Susan, I traveled on January 1st as you said I would (which, no offense, wasn’t exactly the most revelatory prediction of the year given that a lot of people traveled on this date what with the holiday and all), but I have no other travel planned.

And then I thought to myself, wait a minute, I did not grow up watching Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood for nothing, and I can travel using my imagination to do all sorts of things like draw or write or be more creative or check out what kind of bedspread my neighbors may or may not be using. I can time travel a la the tesseract if I truly needed. (Put me out of my misery, please, and just let me have a private showing of A Wrinkle in Time, Ava, I beg of you!!! Are you still reading? Who am I and in what century are we partying?) I can also very well travel to and from all sorts of local destinations. This weekend, for example, I’d love nothing more than to travel the entire circumference of my couch.

So anyway, if you have trips of any kind, I’d love to know about them.

Something else to know about our sign because that wasn’t much (blame the planets!!!), is that Mars and Jupiter are doing the horizontal dance in Scorpio, our house of marriage this month, which they have not done since August 9th, 1982 — and I wasn’t born yet. So get ready to take that metaphorically or literally and run with it. A partner will come in handy toward the middle of the month (January 16th) when Susan says something’s going to try to come out of NOWHERE and fuck shit up (blame Uranus, who I know I said I wouldn’t talk about and am done with this sentence) but she is confident we can blast through whatever’s head so long as we think calmly (hahahahah I don’t do that!), act methodically and react swiftly. But that partner, remember? They’ll be your saving grace.

Gemini

Gemini. I can’t lie to you. Things have taken a turn for the strange this round of horoscopes. What started out as an idea to offer up the ONE THING each sign needed to know turned into a whirlwinded fury of subconscious blathering-ons and I just am not too sure if any signs know what the hell is going on, but they’re all sure as hell going to try to make it work. Is that not a true and sort of beautiful metaphor for our human existence, or by George, did I do it again and lose my mind in the jungle? Let’s conduct a poll, shall we? That’s the only real productive thing I’ve managed to accomplish.

When it comes to Repell-o Scopes, do you read them to:

A) Pass the time while getting a wax

B) Actually want to know how to predict your month ahead

C) Have a solid example of what NOT to do with your journalism degree

or D) Waffles

If you chose D, here’s some maple syrup: on January 8th, Jupiter will send a “shimmering signal to the Sun on January 8,” which is a brilliant day to schedule meetings and set up times to talk with VIPs, or anyone who you need to really listen to you, to your ideas, to your greatest existential being. If that meeting was good but not “WOW-IE!,” no worries, January 10th bring even more support from the higher-ups you need to move along your next area of ladder climbing. Susan encourages that you use this time to negotiate and keep negotiating.

“That entire week, from January 6 to 9 will be special for you,” she says, even though the 6th is a weekend and she keeps forgetting this, “but you must make an effort to negotiate finances and make decisions about them.” Apparently tension about money, if you’re feeling any, will let the hell up by the 19th. After that, you’ll turn to travel. Apparently I’m going to be aboard Steve Zissou’s underwater vessel all month so join me, won’t you?

Cancer

Crunchy lovely orange crabs!!! I thought of you the whole time I was home in San Francisco because I brought my man friend who was visiting various tourist destinations and I forgot just how interwoven the theme of the CRAB is into the city. It’s like Maine’s lobster, but not, because it’s the San Francisco crab. (Btw I’m looking at the California bear as we speak — my mom got me a pillow with the bear on it — and the bear seems on board. We’re all friends here!)

Let’s talk ‘scope because my fingers are going numb: A lot of your January horoscope revolved around career and money. All good things because I say so! But!!! You’re positioned to enter a highly romantic period, too, and right now that just feels more festive to type about.

Susan writes, “If you feel the energies of the month in a more romantic way, you may get engaged or married, especially at some point during the first seven days of January (which may have started December 30 or 31, too). A golden triangle will appear in the sky at that time, formed by several heavenly bodies, specifically the moon in Cancer (you), Mars and Jupiter (true love and romance), and Neptune (sumptuous long distance travel). Additionally, in the first ten days of January, your crowd of planets will receive shimmering vibrations from Neptune (inspiration), Jupiter (happiness), and Mars (energy).” It was just a lot which is why I had to copy/paste it. Also, I refuse to pass up an opportunity to read someone else’s words about “shimmering vibrations.”

Anyway, please remember that everything is a metaphor when it comes to horoscopes and “engaged” or “married” can mean whatever you want it to, in whatever field you want it to. For example, I may become “engaged” to a BLT in about four seconds, and I feel like I’m about to get “married” to my couch the moment the clock strikes weekend.

Oh and enjoy all the money you’re due to make at the end of the month!

Leo

Oh you big beautiful cat! Let me comb your mane with my fingers. I just told Virgo down below that I forgot to watch Love, Actually over the holidays. I weirdly watched barely any holiday movies, come to think of it, which makes me sad because I have a pretty strong policy against post-December holiday movie-watching…but if there’s a snowstorm, fuck it, I’ll slip in Family Stone and you can’t stop me! Also, when it comes to holiday movies off-season, am I the only other person who loves Dan in Real Life and doesn’t know where it belongs on the calendar? It’s not a SUPREMELY holiday-ish movie, but it’s also not not one either. Sigh. Anyway, the movie I did watch over the holidays that was slightly holiday-thematic is The Chronicles of Narnia! 

You know, I love this music video^ but have always felt that this is a rather active Sunday. Like they go from the West Village to the Upper West Side for a movie? That is a lot of schlepping, mostly because it involves a commitment to being somewhere on time. Kinda gives me Sunday anxiety.

I forgot my point. OH FOUND IT! The lion thing made me think of Chronicles of Narnia, hence the detour, and now we’re here:

Your one thing to know this January round of horoscopes is that January will be a “strenuous month at work,” (Susan said but I know you can handle this!) “so find frequent ways to treat your body, mind, and spirit with care.” Roll your Lion sleeves up, crack your knuckles, get down with the get down toward your road of success and then later that night, have a DIY spa. Ahhh.

Your biggest day of the whole MONTH, just as a heads up, is January 31st. It will bring about a big ol’ conclusion on something major in your life you’ve been working on. Don’t you just love giant bows that wrap things up?

Virgo

Virgo I have a quick poll to run by you, which Virgo-name-pun would have been more funny had I not just felt the need to run it by you?

Would it have been:

A) Virgo-go Power Rangers!

B) Virgo who can’t drive (an homage, of course, to Clueless)

or C) Virgo Mobile/Virgo Airlines

I want to say A or B, feel like I dropped the joke ball on C and more than anything need you Virgos to know that unfortunately, you will probably hear D, all of the above, in the future. As for your great horoscope that is the OPPOSITE of unfortunate, you can kind of just chill a bit and eat pineapples or whatever it is you do in your recreational time until the new moon of January 16th, because on that date, your fifth house of true love is going to be lit ALL THE WAY UP!

Here’s your one thing to know about your sign this month: “With an extraordinary number of heavenly bodies filling this area of your chart,” writes Susan, who should definitely have a cameo in A Wrinkle in Time, I am now convinced, “including the Sun, new moon, Venus, Mercury, Saturn, and Pluto – if single, you will be open to meeting new people. Virgo rarely has unrealistic expectations, especially in matters of the heart, and that will put you in a good position to decide which persons you’d like to meet and know better, as well as which persons to pass up.” If you’re not single, well then get ready to get all Vir-goo-goo eyes at your loved one! Nothing says devotion like staring straight into your loved one’s pores. IT IS A MONTH OF ROMANCE!!! The whole month. All of it. I may have just decided this but don’t I get a say? It’s your life so you certainly do.

January 6th is a good day to start a project and the 31st is going to be extraordinarily relaxing, where love is not concerned. Even though “love, actually … is all around.” Or however that movie goes. I forgot to watch it in December!!!

Libra

Liberace, I hope you can forgive me for making a Liberace joke in another sign, I know that’s usually our thing but I was referencing a glitter jumpsuit or some such nonsense.

Let’s focus, because I promised we’d streamline these ‘scopes this month and if we’re being honest (we always are, aren’t we) I haven’t done the best job streamlining it. I’ve been rambling — realllll rambling man, as they say.

Lotta money for you this month, especially close to January 6th, when “Jupiter, giver of gifts and luck, will conjunct Mars.” (Hi Suz quote!) “This is a rare aspect, for these two Titans of the planetary lineup only happen once every two years, but when they do, the always meet in a different sign. This year these luminaries will meet in your second house of earned income, so you will have the money for any life transitions you might be planning. Take this aspect seriously – it won’t come again until November 24, 2053.”

What the hell is in 2053! What kind of sneakers will you be wearing? WHO WILL BE PRESIDENT? Who’s to say, but let’s pray for great things and until then, enjoy your piles of money. Part of me wants to say spend them wisely but the other part of me is like, “I’m hungry!”

(Okay fine, sure: Susan gives one slight heads-up that come January 16th, you will be happy you have an extra cushion for the pushin’ because you’ll want to spend some cash on your home. She suspects you’re making changes in your “living situation.” Should we talk shelves? Should we talk apartments at large?

One more thing! This month, LOVE IS IN THE AIR AND IT SMELLS LIKE BABY GOATS IN PAJAMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scorpio

Scorpio I hope your pinchy claws can hold umbrellas because you’re going to need to take cover come January 6th: whole lotta MONEY is about to rain down!!!

$$$$$ YAYYYYY $$$$$$$$$$$$$

Mars is in your sign until January 26th, which means at work, it’s time for you to take the lead. People already listen to you, per Suz, but boy oh boy is the floor ever yours and are people watching you! It means that now is your time to shine. Would you like some wine with that cheese?

I was just in Napa and can barely tell you anything about my opinion on which wine selection to choose today, if you were about to ask me. The one that doesn’t taste like vinegar that I just found in my fridge? For real: how long can you drink a bottle of wine after you open it and put the cork back in? How do you know if it “tastes a little funky,” or if it’s straight up poison? Can you cook with bad wine like you can make banana bread with old bananas? All ears in the comments down below.

Actually no! I am not drunk today, thank you for asking!

But, er, what I think I keep attempting to get at is that a lot of your money may come from approved proposals and such because of that floor being yours, and you taking advantage of it. Catch my drift? And you’re scheduled to get an award at the end of the month. That sounds grand. You deserve it. I’ll hang it on my fridge if yours isn’t magnetic!

Sagittarius

Hoorrayyyy half-horsed and behooved friend of mine! If you’ve been working on a big idea, perhaps one that lives behind your gut or within your brain space or within the confines of your computer — wherever — then this is the month for it to begin to see the light of day! “Mars will allow you to push your idea or project out in the open for all to see when it moves into Sagittarius on January 26 to stay until March 17,” writes Thriller.

But I think she uses a key grouping of words there: “Mars will allow you to push your idea,” meaning Mars has its hands out like, “Alright fuckers! Stand back and make way for brilliance!” so that you can charge through like the four-legged cool creature that you are and really make some progress. Fight for your right to party and succeed! It’s all up to you though — that’s what I’m getting at. Sleep now, rest now, so that you’ve got a fire (the safe kind) lit under your butt when it comes time to make moves.

“This will be the most important part of the year for you to push through your biggest ideas,” Susan continues, and I keep quoting her because I’ve lost my damn mind and I like what she has to say today. “You will have the podium, the spotlight, and the microphone; and influential people will sit up and take notice of all you have to say. VIPs will be impressed with your courage, energy, and drive, and will be drawn to want to help you reach your goals. This is no time to be shy or to think on a small scale. You only get Mars every two years in your own sign, and once you have it, as you will starting on January 26, you must use it.”

USE IT ALL, CELESTIAL NEIGH-BOR. I’ll be over here with my chin in my hands, ready to text you a bundle of confetti when you say, “I did it!”

[julianblacket90-blog]

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