#she offered to reschedule but i find it so unlikely we can when we need to take into consideration having the same day off

[hotfuss]

Love to wake up in the morning only to cry for the third time about today's failed plan, I was supposed to go to a water park with a coworker but she bailed on me yesterday evening.

Having plans failing bc people bail on me and having to reschedule is unfortunately a running theme in my life + of all the 4/5 people I call my friends basically only one kept in touch and actually proposes to spend time with me (🙃) + but that really doesn't matter bc of the nature of my job, i have odd hours and definitively no days off on the weekend, at least in summer.

I love being in the water but I'm extremely shortsighted and I don't feel comfortable wearing lenses in the water bc I'm terrified I could accidentally open my eyes under water and lose them (and that shit costs me over 200 bucks every 6 months, they aren't cheap!), being without lenses means I can see colors and blurry shapes when I'm not wearing my glasses. It makes getting out of the water and reaching my belongings really awkward and anxiety inducing.

Last week I proposed my coworker bc I saw we had a matching day off and she was actually her counter off with the water park after me proposing the beach or the pool and it got me so excited!! I completely forgot about that, last time I went there I was still a minor!! I literally spent every day of this week thinking about going to my fave attractions and having fun in the water now that I bought a swimming suit that could properly contain my boobs and have someone being my support eyes. This bail really crushed me in such a horrible way, I was supposed to have so much fun today 😭😭😭😭

[flooffybits]

Hold Me

Idol: Jennie Kim (Blackpink), Bae Joohyun (Red Velvet)

Request: Yes

Anon: hiiii!!! i really love your scenarios!! thank u for takint the time to write beautiful writings!! can i request for a jenniexreaderxirene wherein reader gets thoughts of just breaking up with the other two because they seem happier without her? angst with fluffy ending hopefully!! thank youuu ❤❤❤

Author’s note: this is so sweet. thank you so much and you’re very welcome! I hope you enjoy this one. Ps, we need more gifs because I only ended up finding one so I made this

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but our schedules are a bit too tight at the moment.” Joohyun sighed as she got ready to leave the house and you frowned while watching her from the couch. “I know that it’s difficult, but we can always reschedule.” She offered you a small smile before pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay.” You mumbled softly, your sadness rising as she was finally gone. Jennie wasn’t even able to bid either of you goodbye because she was already gone before you could wake up, only leaving a text that she would be back tonight and she loved you both.

It’s been like that recently. Neither of them have had the time to just sit down and talk to you. Though you understood that this was their job, it just made you feel bad because even when they couldn’t see you as much, they always end up seeing each other while you had to be kept away.

You try to see things from their point of view most of the time but it just didn’t help the gnawing feeling that maybe they didn’t really need you anymore. It was a bad thought, but as much as you tried to remind yourself that they did love you, the lack of assurance made it all difficult to believe.

The only time you really were allowed to see them was when they were in their respective groups because, to your surprise, you were related to both Sooyoung and Chaeyoung. The three of you only found out you were cousins when Chaeyoung was on a Facetime with her mother whilst you were hanging out with the rest of Blackpink and Jennie was talking to Joohyun, assuring your older girlfriend that you were both fine with the girls.

When her mother’s eyes landed on you, she looked so delighted before gushing on how much you’ve grown after she realized that you weren’t any of her bandmates and Chaeyoung explained that you were the friend she often talked about, confusing all of you until she explained how she was your father’s cousin and then how Sooyoung’s father was his brother.

You were baffled, to say the least, and you called your father immediately while demanding for answers. How you didn’t realize that your uncle was your friend’s father, he said it was because of how you had moved to the states when you were still young and they barely stayed in contact with your relatives in Korea.

After that, the three of you were quickly making plans of hanging out, much to your girlfriends’ dismay because your attention was being taken away from them and they ended up extremely sulky, whining whenever you got home and clinging to you until the sun rose.

Everything seemed fine then, but now it was different. They were gaining more and more attention, then work was just piling up for them that when they get home, it was only to sleep, shower, and maybe eat when they could.

You could only watch them from a screen and it just made your heart hurt more to realize this. So to distract yourself, you buried yourself in work and tried anything else to help the void that was growing in your heart.

..

“I just… don’t know. Am I too boring? Am I too lax? What am I doing wrong?” Your cousins looked sadly at you when you told them about your situation and they were truly surprised to find out that you’ve been struggling with these emotions.

Their friends haven’t shown much signs of negativity when it comes to your relationship, but maybe it was with the fact that both of your girlfriends always did their best in keeping their private life, well, private.

“I don’t think it’s that.” Chaeyoung assured you, her hand running up and down your back. “We’ve all just been busy with things. Jennie is being dragged around by work since she’s really in demand at the moment.” The Australian explained. “Irene unnie has also been busy with meetings. Since she’s the leader, majority of the responsibility is on her.” Sooyoung added, making you frown more.

“I know that they’re busy but it just…. I think they function better without me. I mean, just the other day they were on a date without me.”

The pair frown at each other before Sooyoung is gently grabbing your shoulder. “What are you talking about, Y/n? Irene and Jennie love you.” She says but you cross your arms while curling into yourself. “Do they really? Before we even got together, they were already doing fine.” You huffed, dragging a hand down your face in frustration.

They didn’t really know what to say. Both their friends haven’t said anything, so they were just as clueless as you.

Listen, Y/n, I know that you’re stressed with this, and we can’t really dictate what happens in your relationship, but what I can tell you is that we’ll be here for you with whatever happens.” Sooyoung said in the sincerest tone she could muster. “She’s right. They might be our friends, but you’re family, Y/n. We may not have known from the very beginning, but I’ve actually grown to see you as a sister.” Chaeyoung agreed when she took your hand.

You appreciated them, greatly, but still, you didn’t want to cause any unnecessary drama between them and your girlfriends. “Just… pretend nothing happened with them, please?” You pleaded. “I know what you’re both trying to say, but you guys are still friends. I don’t want to get in between that.” Sooyoung looked like she wanted to protest, but Chaeyoung had sent her a meaningful look when she squeezed your hand.

“We’ll try.”

After meeting up with them, you made your way back home to have some time to think for yourself. Unlike you usually would, you decided to stay up until both your girlfriends got home this time.

You willed your hands to stop shaking, but when you heard the sound of keys jingling from the door, it made your nerves grow. You had to take a deep breath to at least lessen it before you saw both Joohyun and Jennie coming inside with smiles on their faces, giggling to each other and you felt the same pang in your chest to see them so happy without you.

“Oh! Y/n, why are you still up? It’s late.” Immediately, your older girlfriend was asking in a worried tone, but Jennie looked a bit confused. “Yeah, and why is Rosie outside? She said she was waiting for you.” She questioned while Joohyun frowned, almost disappointed with the idea of you having to go out so late at night.

They walked closer to you while you stood from the couch and bit your lip. “Sweetheart, is something wrong?” Joohyun asked softly while she tried scanning your face for any signs that could give her a clue as to why you were acting differently. Usually, you would be elated to see them after a long day and you were still awake, so this was new.

Jennie was doing the same, checking you for anything that could give away what was going through your mind when she noticed that you weren’t wearing either her or Joohyun’s clothes like usual. You were wearing one of your hoodies, and looking past you, your backpack was perched on the couch, right where you were sitting. “Are you headed somewhere?” She questioned and you glanced to your bag before finally letting out a breath.

“I asked her to pick me up.” You tell them. “I don’t think I can keep doing this.” Alarmed, both girls stared at you as you shifted on the spot. “What are you talking about? Can’t do what?” Jennie demanded, unable to hold herself from showing that she was not pleased with your words.

You gesture between you and them. “This.” You emphasize. “This relationship, I don’t think we can keep doing it.” You explain and Joohyun takes a hesitant step closer to you. “Sweetheart, I don’t think we understand. Things are fine with us.” She wants you to further elaborate what you were trying to say but Jennie was already talking before you could. “Is this about us spending time with you again?” She snapped, her brows furrowed with a deep frown on her face.

“Y/n, we’ve told you that we’re busy.” She states, her voice laced with frustration, and Joohyun puts a hand on her arm to stop her. “It’s not that.” You answer softly, eyeing them with your shoulders tensed.

“I know that you’re both busy, and I get that. But lately, I just feel like I’m not really a part of this relationship. I mean, yeah, neither of you have noticed anything wrong because you’ve been together before I even came into the picture.” Somehow, instead of feeling apologetic, Jennie grows angry with your words while Joohyun worried. “That’s where you’re going with this? Y/n, seriously?”

“Jen, I think-” But the younger girl wasn’t listening as she went off on you. “Irene and I can go out because the public don’t think anything about us. But if we bring you along, they’ll wonder why our members’ cousin is with us without them. Honestly, are you even thinking?” She hissed and Joohyun immediately grabbed her arm while yanking her back. “Jennie, stop it!”

You could only stare at them as Jennie glared right back at you. “I wasn’t asking you to take me out or anything. I just wished that you would remember that you’re dating me, too.” You tell them in the calmest voice you could muster despite the tears that were fighting their way out of your eyes. “God, I knew this was going to happen.” You muttered as you turned to grab your bag from the couch.

“What are you doing?” Joohyun questioned, panicked when you placed your spare key on the coffee table. “I’m getting out of your hair so you can focus on each other.” You tell them while making your way to the door. The whole situation was just like a ticking time bomb, and you were doing your best to diffuse it before it exploded in your faces. But Jennie didn’t seem to care at the moment.

“Stop being so jealous and selfish. Not everything is about you.”

That made you pause as you stopped once your hand made contact with the knob. “I’m well aware that it isn’t, but the next time you think of dating someone who isn’t an idol, I hope you’re willing to listen and learn that not everything is one-sided.”

“Y/n, wait!” Joohyun tried to run after you, but you shut the door behind you, and when she opened it, you were already getting inside the car with Chaeyoung. She saw the look in your cousin’s eyes before she drove off and she felt her heart hammering against her rib cage before she’s marching back inside the house.

When she saw Jennie sitting on the couch, arms crossed with an expectant look on her face, she was not pleased at all. “Jennie, what the hell was that?” She demanded and the girl scoffed. “Why are you getting mad at me? Y/n was being childish.” Joohyun could not believe her ears as she marched over. “Jennie, do you even understand what’s going on?”

The younger girl rolled her eyes. “Y/n will get over it. We’ve already talked about this countless of times.” She said dismissively. “Jennie! Y/n isn’t coming back, she broke up with us.” The words don’t sink into Jennie’s mind right away, too overrun by her emotions to process the severity of the situation while Joohyun received a text from Sooyoung, telling her that she would meet with them at the studio, tomorrow.

She let out a sigh, carding her fingers through her hair as she took a seat and tried to think. Her heart felt heavy because of what had happened and she had to take a moment and reflect. What caused all of this and why did things have to turn out this way?

Thinking on what you said, the older woman frowned while she fiddled with her fingers. “Have we really been neglecting her?” She asked quietly. But seeing as they were the only ones present, Jennie obviously heard her. “Irene, Y/n knows that we have a lot to do. It’s not our fault that we don’t have the time.” She says, but the latter shakes her head.

“I don’t think it’s that. Y/n has been very understanding about that.” She reminds her, because no matter how rare it was for the three of you to spend time together, you were always patient with them.

In fact, they’ve gotten so used with having to cancel and reschedule that they didn’t even realize how much it was taking a toll on you. Then what you said rang in her ears and she had to inhale sharply. She was trying really hard to keep herself from breaking right then and there because the reality that they just lost you was slowly getting to her, and Jennie wasn’t helping.

“She’s not coming back…” She said quietly, and Jennie was about to deny it, but when she heard the sob that fell from her girlfriend’s lips, she slowly broke out out the mind state she was previously in. “Irene, she will come back.” She spoke more softly when she went to wrap her arms around the older girl, but Joohyun shook her head as she gripped her shirt. “Did you see the look in her eyes? Jennie, she was hurting and we did that.”

“Y/n wasn’t being selfish. She was just trying to tell us what she was feeling.”

Hearing her own words made the younger girl grimace and she slumped her shoulders. But what made her feel bad was that Joohyun was right. You were hurting, and instead of helping you, she immediately shut you down and spat horrible things that she knew was too low, even for her.

“We’ve been leaving her out so much.” Joohyun breathed out when she remembered the various dates fans had seen them in. The guilt was rising, and it wasn’t just her anymore. Jennie had quieted down and was assessing herself with what happened and she grimaced while running her hand up and down the other’s back.

“What are we going to do, Jennie?” Joohyun asked helplessly. But the girl was just as clueless. You’ve had your fights, but none of them were this big, to the point that you wanted to break up. You were all able to resolve the fight by talking things out, but a simple talk wasn’t going to fix this, nor would it be able to take back what she said to you.

“Let’s try and see her tomorrow.” She suggested, only to curse when she remembers that she was going to be at an interview before she was needed at the studio. “I have a schedule…” Joohyun said painfully, biting her lip.

They haven’t been making time. They were only making you adjust every time and now, your words made complete sense to them.

..

Joohyun has left texts on your phone for the past few days, asking you to come back home, even with a call here and there. Jennie, on the other hand, was sending you gifts. Either they were brought to you by a manager or she would ask your cousin to bring them to you.

Both Sooyoung and Chaeyoung were very wary of the two, but as they promised, they were being civil with them whenever they were together. But Sooyoung, of course, wasn’t really good with holding her tongue as she told Joohyun off when she caught her sulking in the practice room.

“Unnie, really, this isn’t healthy and what you and Jennie did wasn’t okay. I know Y/n said that she was fine the many times you had to leave her, but she’s human too.” She told her. “Be a little more considerate. She isn’t an idol, but she does know the two of you to know she needs to give you space. But you were in a relationship, it can’t just be her making sacrifices.”

Hearing the younger girl talk about you made her snap out of her reverie and she frowned. She hated the way Sooyoung spoke about the relationship in the past tense because deep inside, she refused to believe that you were over. They could still fix it, she believes.

“I miss her.”

Meanwhile, with Jennie, things were a bit more different. Though they did seem fine, Chaeyoung barely stayed in the same vicinity as her friend unless it was completely necessary. It annoyed the rapper but she had no place to say anything. But at the time she caught the girl talking to you on the phone, she couldn’t hold herself as she marched into the room.

“Can you just let me see her?”

Startled, the younger girl spun around before she said, “I’ll call you later.” Before hanging up. “I think it’s been very clear that she doesn’t want to see you.” She said calmly, further irritating the shorter girl. “I’m trying to fix things, Rosé. I can’t do that if you’re hiding her away from me and Irene.” She retorted but the latter huffed. “Do you think an ‘I’m sorry’ is going to be enough to fix what you did to her?” She demanded, her brows pinched together as she crossed her arms.

“I know that you can be really pissy, but what you did to my cousin was a big no. Not only did you call her selfish for wanting to be included, but you had the audacity to be angry when you made her feel like she didn’t even matter.” She snapped, making Jennie freeze when she heard the last bit. “… What?”

Chaeyoung let her arms rest on her sides as she scowled at the brunette. “You really did a number on her confidence. She was already insecure with dating two of Korea’s highly demanded idols, but to make her feel so small like the way you did.” She shook her head and made her way to the door. “Congratulations. You fucked up.”

When she was alone in the room, Jennie felt her heart sink as she glanced at her phone. She didn’t realize that she was disregarding you so much because all this time she really believed you were okay with them. You made them feel at home whenever the day ended and you showered them with all the love and attention no one else could.

Had she really thrown all of that away?

..

“So, I might have done something that you’ll be mad at me.” You cousin said and Sooyoung raised a brow when Chaeyoung played with her pillow. “What did you do this time?” She asks while you fixed your phone to get a better look at them.

It became a thing for the three of you to call each other when they were both home. They said it was to make sure you were okay and that you didn’t feel lonely.

“Well, remember how I was talking to you this afternoon?” Chaeyoung addressed you and you nodded your head. “Yeah. You suddenly had to go when I was asking you about our meet up.” You say while scrunching your nose. “Yeah… Jennie came up to me and was asking to see you, again.” She muttered. “And?” Both you and Sooyoung urged her to explain, and she let out a sigh.

“I may or may not have snapped at her.”

You groaned while burying your face to your pillow and shaking your head. “I had to talk to Irene unnie, too.” Sooyoung piped up so Chaeyoung wouldn’t feel bad about what she said. “Great, what happened to being civil?” You muttered as they looked away sheepishly.

“Look, I appreciate that you’re both looking out for me, but what happened with the three of us, I can deal with. You guys are friends, and even though they are my exes, that shouldn’t be a reason for you to hate them. It’s not like they meant for all of this to happen.” You tell them and Sooyoung makes a sound of disagreement.

“Why are you still defending them?”

You lay your head down and let out a breath while your cousins looked at you. “I mean, yeah, they hurt me, but I know they meant well. Despite everything, I do still love them.” You mutter quietly. “I mean, if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t have met either of you.” You say, trying to ease the two into a less tense atmosphere and Chaeyoung sighed while running her fingers through her hair. “Maybe it’s the whole dating two people thing. We were all new to it.”

As much as they didn’t want to agree with your excuse, they could tell that you weren’t up for discussing this topic. So in the end, they decided not to argue and just let you be. The three of you ended up talking until your eyes couldn’t stay open. The last you heard were your cousins talking about their schedule for the next week before finally passing out.

When you woke up the next day though, you were confused to hear the sound of pans clanking against each other and hushed voices coming from outside your bedroom door.

Groaning, you forced yourself out of bed and went to the bathroom to wash up, thinking that it was your cousins again since they were the only people who had a spare key to your apartment.

But when you exited your room to check on them, the sounds decreased. “Joy, Chaeng, I thought you were busy today?” You called out, only for the foot steps to stop and you furrowed your brows before entering the kitchen. As soon as you saw that the people inside weren’t your cousins, you had to pause.

“What are you doing here and how did you get in?”

Jennie quickly looked to Joohyun while she set the spatula down and rubbed her neck. “I… took Joy’s key.” She answered timidly and you had to stare at her to see if she was lying or not, because Bae Joohyun? Stealing your cousin’s keys?

That sounded absurd.

However, she showed the said key as though to prove your thoughts wrong and smiled shyly. “… okay then.” You breathed out before crossing your arms, almost as though you were defending yourself from them both and Jennie felt her heart break. “You didn’t answer my other question.”

This time, she took a step closer to answer you, her expression soft. “We wanted to see you… and apologize.” Jennie tells you. Her entire demeanor was completely different from the night you had left the apartment. “I know that sorry isn’t going to cut it, but we just wanted to talk to you.” She added quickly while looking down.

Joohyun quickly wiped her hands before she’s standing next to her girlfriend and placing a hand on the small of her back while she took over. “We both were to blame, and I think it’s only right that we both apologize to you, properly.” She spoke with the same calm expression she usually wore while gesturing for you to take a seat.

Your head was screaming at you to kick them out, forget the whole thing happened, but your feet were already moving and you were soon seated on one of the stools while they took a seat across from you. Joohyun wrapped a comforting arm around the younger girl, encouraging her to speak up before Jennie’s sucking in a deep breath and then meeting your eyes.

“Y/n, I know what I said was really hurtful to you. It wasn’t fair of me to be demanding things from you like to be considerate when we’re tired or to be more understanding because of our schedules because you do these things already without us asking you to.” She bit her lip and folded her hands on her lap. “I’m deeply sorry for the way I hurt you, especially that night and I regret it so much.”

“I’m also sorry for not being more attentive with you. You’re our girlfriend and we shouldn’t have taken you for granted. We should have taken your feelings into account, not just our own because clearly that’s not how a relationship should work.” Joohyun then spoke up, asking for your attention. “We shouldn’t have kept saying that we couldn’t be seen with you, either. We’ve always been so defensive about it because the reality of it was that we were scared of what people might say if they saw us.”

“We weren’t ashamed of you. I swear.” Jennie immediately said when she noticed your expression falling. “It’s just, you came out of nowhere as Rosie’s and Joy’s cousin. So if you were suddenly around just us, we thought of the worst before anything.”

You stayed quiet the entire time, thinking on how to tackle the subject and everything they’ve told you. There was so much running through your mind, but it looked like only one thing was able to come out. “Do you still even love me?”

“Of course.”

“We do.”

They answered in unison and Joohyun sighed heavily before she’s leaning forward to reach for one of your hands, and you let her. “I know that there’s so much we have to make up for, but Y/n, please believe us when we say that we love you deeply.” She says softly as her thumb runs over your knuckles.

“You’re the only person that can keep both of us grounded and you’ve loved us unconditionally even though dating two people is a little unconventional.” Jennie added as she reached for your other hand. “We’re sorry for not showing you enough, but we will… if you let us.”

They weren’t forcing you to come back to them. They were giving you the choice, despite their hopes of you taking them back. If you said no, then they would understand.

You could see in their eyes the love and sincerity that they held that it made your breath hitch slightly. Your eyes then fell on your hands that were still enclose in their own, Joohyun’s being smaller than yours whilst Jennie’s was just a bit bigger, yet they both fit perfectly.

Squeezing your hands, they both smiled softly at you before you looked up with teary eyes. “This is your last chance.” Your voice was barely a whisper, but as soon as they heard it, they were out of their seats and rushing to pull you into their arms.

“I swear we won’t waste it.” Jennie whispered in your ear, pressing a kiss to your forehead while Joohyun ran her fingers through your hair before burying her face into your neck. “I love you so much.” They both said and you held them tight and shutting your eyes.

There was a lot for the three of you to work on, but you know that at the end of the day, you still loved them. And this time, they were there to remind you just how much they loved you back.

With all the chaos that was outside your home, they were always calmed by your presence. Because you were the normalcy that they needed, and you were more than willing to give them that. But this time, the routine they had would change just so they would be able to hold you much more than their jobs could hold them away from you.

[something-tofightfor]

Seasons to Cycles / 6

Pairing: Logan Delos x Reader

Word Count: 12,549 (uh... oops?)

Rating: M (Some language, mentions of sex and drug use, talk of death)

Summary:  The morning after you and Logan open up to each other, he comes up with an idea ... and you have to decide whether or not to go along with it. As you continue to navigate with the new knowledge of his circumstances, what does that mean for the two of you?

Author’s Note: This one is a lot, but it clears up even more about Logan and Ariella, and helps to solidify your relationship with him. I hate that I made you wait so long for ... essentially a filler chapter, but sometimes these things happen. Please enjoy! 

You’d fallen asleep just before the sun came up, tossing and turning in Juliet’s comfortable spare bed as you thought about Logan. Wonder if he’s awake, too. Or if he… Unlike the other nights you spent thinking about him, it hadn’t been as easy to turn your mind elsewhere. How could I? He … we … But eventually, sheer exhaustion won, and your eyes closed, breaths evening out. You woke up a few hours later to the sound of Emily’s laughter, opening your eyes and staring at the ceiling for long seconds. Was it a dream? Did I imagine all of …  Bringing a hand to your lips, you shook your head. No, it wasn’t. Checking your phone and answering texts from Jess and Max, you dragged yourself out of bed and got dressed, pulling your bathing suit back on under an oversized t shirt and pair of shorts. If Juliet’s hungover, she might want me to stay with Emily today, too. After a quick trip into the bathroom to wash your face and pull your hair away from your face, you headed down the stairs, barefoot and half dreading what you’d find. But why? It was fine when… “Good morning!” You laughed out loud as you saw Juliet in front of the stove, looking awake and well rested, a spatula in hand. “I’m making breakfast, are you hungry?” 

 “Yeah, I …” You tilted your head to the side. “How are you so awake, Juliet? From what Logan said -” She laughed, flipping a pancake over in the pan before she looked back at you. 

 “Another Delos product. We’ve got a supplement line, and one of them is for hangovers. Logan made me take one last night before I fell asleep, and I felt fine this morning.” Jess could have used one of those after Spire. 

 “I can have the whole line delivered to your place, if you want.” You turned toward the back door, seeing that Logan was peeking his head inside, a grin on his lips. “Your friend probably could have used it a couple weeks ago.” 

 “Emily Grace, breakfast!” Juliet yelled the words, still facing away from you. “You didn’t offer them, Logan?” Juliet turned away from the stove, a plate in her hands. “I’m sure you had -” Emily ran through the living room and past Logan, giggling as the man fully reentered the room, bending over to scoop her up and into his arms. Oh, he… You watched, unable to keep from smiling as he hugged the little girl to his chest, her feet playfully kicking the air as they walked toward the table. 

 “Uncle Logan, I can walk.” She yelled the words, but he didn’t put her down until they were next to the table, and she scrambled into her chair quickly, still laughing. “Sit by me.” He pushed her chair in and then took the seat next to hers, leaning over to whisper something into Emily’s ear. As he sat up, she turned in her seat, kneeling and peering over the back at you as she said your name. “You come eat too, please.” Sneaking a glance at Logan, who was watching you from over his shoulder, you smiled and then nodded. I guess I have to now. 

 “Juliet, before I sit, do you need help?” The woman assured you she didn’t, and so you took a seat across from Logan, looking again at Emily before eyeing the man, unsure of how to approach a conversation with him. The little girl was already tearing into a small stack of pancakes with her fork, you and Logan forgotten. But he told her to… “Morning, Logan.” Juliet leaned over, putting a container of orange juice on the table in front of you, along with a lidded cup for Emily. “I figured you’d already be gone.” 

 “Nope.” He lifted a forkful of pancakes to his lips, chewing, his eyes locked on your face. “Still here.” I can see that, but… “How’d you sleep?” 

 “Fine, I …” You busied yourself making a plate, thinking. What is he… “Took me a little while to fall asleep, but once I did? That bed’s comfortable, and I don’t think I moved.” He laughed, and you even heard Juliet chuckle too. 

 “That’s why I sleep there.” He took a long swallow of coffee. “Took me a while, too.” It did? “And I’m still here because Ari called this morning, and told me she canceled our appointments for this afternoon.” He said it in an even tone, but you saw the hint of disappointment in his eyes. “Said she’s gonna stay in Malibu with her friends for the day, and that she’ll see me again before she leaves.” 

 “I’m sorry, Logan.” It didn’t surprise you, but you still felt for him. “Can you reschedule? You said you were going to meet with -”

 “Maybe.” He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I should probably just stop trying, and do what she wants, let the planners decide everything.” He doesn’t want to get married, but he still wants the wedding to be… “But on the bright side,” he continued, reaching over to ruffle Emily’s hair. “I get to spend the day with you guys now, and I hear that Em’s got a new float, so…” The little girl groaned and pulled away from the man’s hand, swatting at it halfheartedly without letting go of her fork, and Logan fought back a laugh. 

 “Oh, if you’re going to stay, Logan, I’ll leave after I eat, I don’t want to intrude on family time.” 

 “No, you don’t have to do that.” Juliet cut in, sitting down with a plate of her own and reaching for the syrup. “You should stay.” The table was silent for a few seconds, the only sound Emily’s fork as it hit her plate, and you didn’t know how to respond. It’s going to be weird, I … “Both of you.” You looked at Logan again, and then at Juliet, making your decision with a nod. “Good.” The four of you returned to your food, but Logan’s next words surprised you, your fork and knife frozen above the plate. “She knows, Jules.” Oh, Logan, what are you doing. Juliet swore quietly under her breath, and you dug your teeth into your lower lip, unsure of what to do. I … “After what Ari said yesterday, I couldn’t … I had to …” 

 “Logan, you haven’t told…” Eyes darting between the Delos siblings, you stayed quiet. “Oh, wow.” Juliet looked away from her brother and at you, concern on her features. “Are you … I’m sorry I didn’t say anything when you were here by yourself that day, but I … I couldn’t, I …” 

 “You don’t need to apologize.” You looked back at Logan. “Either of you. I’m not family, I’m not involved in this, I … I don’t need to know, and …” It doesn’t change anything, not really. “It was a shock, but mostly I just …” Hate it for him? Think it’s unfair? “I can’t imagine being in that position.” Logan scrubbed a hand over his beard and then began eating again. “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything to anyone, I already promised Logan that I wouldn’t but -”

 “He wouldn’t have told you if he thought you’d say something.” She took a drink from her coffee mug. “I’m not worried.” 

 “See?” Logan leaned in. “It’s not just me that trusts you.” He raised an eyebrow, still watching you. “Now Jules has someone else on the team.” The team? What …  But Emily turned in her chair, saying Logan’s name, and the man’s attention immediately went to the little girl, the seriousness erased from his features in favor of a bright - though slightly artificial - smile. You risked a glance at Juliet, feeling your heart thumping in your chest, and found the woman watching you with a thoughtful look on her face, a tiny smile tugging at the corners of her lips. What is this… 

 --- 

 Later, the four of you were in the pool, Emily happily splashing around and showing off. She’s a much better swimmer than I thought, I should have let her do more last night. You were leaning against the corner of the pool near the hot tub, eyes closed and elbows resting on the cement and enjoying the feeling of the sun on your shoulders when you felt a hand close around your ankle, tugging gently. What the… Eyes popping open, you glanced down in time to see Logan surface directly in front of you, pushing to his feet and swiping the hair away from his face. “Logan, what are -”

 “You’ve been quiet, I wanted to make sure everything was alright.” He was grinning, but you saw concern in his eyes. “I didn’t mean to throw that on you earlier, telling Juliet?” He wrinkled his nose, pausing. “But I figured she needed to know, because I …” He moved so that he was next to you, leaning back against the wall, too. “I think I figured out how to …” How to what? “You asked what happens next, between us, right?” Us? “I want to be friends, and to see you, but if we start seein’ each other a lot, or do what we did at the Spire and have drinks or dinner or any of that bullshit? It could look…”

 “Like you were doing something wrong.” You whispered the words, watching as Emily posed on her float for Juliet, the woman pulling her around in the pool slowly. “Like I was doing something wrong.” 

 “Yeah.” You looked down at the water, seeing that the liquid’s movement and the sun’s reflection made Logan’s legs look even longer than usual, waiting for him to continue. Because he’s going to. I don’t know where this is going, but it’s not going to be… “And I’m not gonna let that happen.” 

 “Logan, you -” You turned your head toward him, finding that he was staring at you, the concern gone and replaced with urgency and determination. He looks … “What happened last night was -”

 “The best part of the last six months of my life.” No way. You lifted a hand from the water and covered your mouth, sucking back a gasp. He doesn’t mean it, he … “I’ve wasted enough fucking time creating a personality for myself, building a life that makes sense. I like spending time with you, and I liked …” His eyes drifted down to your lips, which were visible again, as you’d crossed your arms over your chest in defense. “Knowing that someone was -” 

 “Logan, you can’t do this.” A note of desperation crept into your voice, and you didn’t try to hide it. It wouldn’t work, he’d still know… “We said too much last night, I shouldn’t have -” 

 “No, I needed to hear it. And I needed to … I needed to kiss you, because it was killing me not to.” You’re Logan fucking Delos, this isn’t happening. “Ariella’s gonna think that you and I are sleeping together no matter what. And there’s nothing I can do about that, I’m going to be totally honest about it.” Of course she is. “But I looked into …” He sighed, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “This is going to sound fucking nuts.” 

 “What is?” You heard Emily yell her mother’s name, and looked up, surprised to see that the two of them had left the pool and were playing in the grass. I didn’t even notice, I… “Logan?” 

 “Look, we have access to some serious tech at Delos, alright?” Where is this going? “I used Jules’ laptop this morning, and you’re not gonna believe this, but …” He reached out with his left hand, running one knuckle up and down your bicep. “You an’ Jules have been in the same place at the same time … a lot.” 

 “Excuse me, what?” Eyes narrowed in confusion, you straightened up. “How do you -” 

 “I ran your name and picture through our system and cross referenced it with Juliet’s, and … she’s been to functions at Woodbury throughout the last couple years, and you’ve … you’ve been at events on behalf of Woodbury that Juliet’s also been at, and then there’s a picture of you here the day I brought you, talking to her and some of her friends.” As he spoke, you calmed down, taking deep breaths. Of course they’d have that type of … they need to use it when they make the Hosts to … and when they … “I’m not even in the picture, so…”

 “So I’m Juliet’s friend, right?” You squeezed your eyes shut. “And because I’m her friend, and you see her often, that’s how I know you.” You looked back at Logan, reaching up to grip the back of your neck. “And why it would make sense for you to stop at Spire and have drinks with me, or talk to me at parties, or to -”

 “It’s a backup plan.” You felt him squeeze your arm. “Just in case anyone ever asks, which they shouldn’t, but I …” He glanced up. “I didn’t wanna blindside you if a story ever runs that mentions you, and they call you Juliet’s friend and not mine.” That makes sense. “Because if I…” He leaned in, getting much closer than he needed to. “If I kill a story about a rumor between us, or tell people that I don’t know you well because we just met? It’s like admitting to something that’s not happening.” And it isn’t happening. It won’t. “I don’t know. Fuck.” He swore, letting go of you and pulling his fingers through his hair. “It was just an idea, we don’t have to … I can just say no comment if …” Wait a minute. 

 “Logan …” You turned to face him head on, reaching up to adjust the strap of your top. “Does this mean that you want to keep … I know you said that you wanted to be friends and keep talking to me, but what does …” 

 “We’re gonna have to set some boundaries, but yeah. I wanna keep you around.” He nudged you, the smile back. “This isn’t gonna get easier for me, especially the closer I get to …” The wedding. “And you bein’ real? Honest? Caring about me? I need someone like you around, even if it …” Logan wet his lips. “Even if it’s hard.” 

 “Hard?” I mean I know why it’s hard for me. “What do you -”

 “I’m bein’ selfish.” He shrugged. “And I know it, but maybe everyone’s right. I’m just a selfish asshole, trying to keep someone in my life because they make me feel better, even though it -” 

 “You’re not selfish, Logan. You’re literally marrying someone that you don’t love for the good of your company, and you’re going to call yourself selfish?” Slightly angry at him, you reached out, putting a hand on his arm. “Yeah, it’s going to be hard to be around you and know that what happened last night can’t happen again, but fuck, Logan, I like you. And I’d rather be -” He groaned and stepped back suddenly, dropping beneath the water, both of his hands closing into fists. What is he… When Logan surfaced a few seconds later, the look in his eyes was one of pure frustration, and you could only imagine that it was mirrored in your own. “Is everything alright?” 

 “No.” He swiped a hand over his face, wiping the water away. “No, it’s not, because I’m standing here, coming up with this stupid plan, and you’re just agreeing to it, even though -”

 “Do you want me to … not agree, Logan? To tell you that I don’t think we can or should be -”

 “Fuck no.” He was holding your hand beneath the water’s surface, grip tightening as he slid his fingers up to your wrist. “I want to grab you again and kiss you in this goddamn pool, but I don’t think Jules would appreciate that in front of Em.” You laughed quietly at that, but knew that Logan could feel your racing heartbeat beneath his fingertips. I want that too. 

 “She probably wouldn’t.” You raised an eyebrow, taking a breath to steady yourself. “And as much as I’d like that, Logan, you’re right. Boundaries are the only way this is …” It’s still not going to work. I’m going to get attached, and then you’re still going to marry her, and I’m going to lose you entirely. “... going to work.” Slowly lowering yourself into the water, you looked up at him once it covered your shoulders. “And who knows, Logan? Maybe after a couple months, you’ll come to your senses and realize that you shoulda kept ignoring me at that Whole Foods instead of inviting me to -”

 “Nah.” He lowered himself back down so that you were face to face with each other again, a couple feet between you. “Trust me, it’s you that’s gonna be wishing that -” Instead of letting him finish, you lifted one hand to splash him, catching him off guard. He laughed in surprise, and you knew that he was going to lunge for you before he’d even moved, but as he wrapped his arms around you and dragged you beneath the water’s surface, you were laughing too. Not a chance in hell of that, Logan. 

 ---

 “Will it just be you attending, Mr. Delos, or should we add a plus one?” The young man stood on the other side of his desk, watching Logan over the top edge of the tablet he held. “We just need to know so that we can reserve enough places at your table for the final headcount.” Ari’s not coming, she already said she can’t, so… He shook his head. 

 “Just me, Oliver. You can reach out to Ariella to confirm if you want, but when I asked,  she said no.” He shrugged, leaning forward in his chair. “This is when? Next …”

 “Next Saturday night. Since Ms. Delos had a scheduling conflict and your father’s unable to attend, it’s just you as a representative of the Delos family.” No pressure, right? “We’ve scheduled you for a fitting next week, Mr. Delos, for the fundraiser and for your …” He glanced down, frowning slightly. “For your wedding, it looks like.” For the wedding? Why would I get fitted this early for the … 

 “Where?” He tilted his head, watching his assistant tap on the screen. “And who -” 

 “Brioni.” Oliver glanced up. “And Cass added the note about the wedding fitting.” Of course she did. After the engagement, his publicist and Ariella’s had been instructed to work together whenever possible, communicating back and forth and keeping each other updated. So I don’t even get to choose my … 

 “Thank you, Oliver. Just add the appointment to my calendar so that I don’t forget.” It’s not his fault. “And hold off on getting ahold of Ariella. I’m going to give her a call now.” He glanced at the clock. “Send her an email or… whatever later this afternoon and confirm.” With a single nod, the man thanked Logan and then turned to leave the room, the door sliding shut behind him. I didn’t think I’d have to talk to her today, but … Logan took a deep breath and picked up his phone, swiping through until he found the woman’s contact information and pressed send, lifting the device to his ear. She’s in London, so I know she’s awake. To his surprise, the woman answered on the second ring. 

 “Logan?” He heard the pause before she spoke, and again before she continued. “What -” Am I going to start an argument over this? He eyed his computer monitor, thinking. Yes. 

 “Why did you and Cass schedule a tux fitting for the wedding? I haven’t even thought about -” He heard her sigh. 

 “I picked a designer for my dress, Logan. And one of the planners and I figured that a Brioni tux would be -” She picked out a dress? We still have almost a year before… But as Ariella continued to talk, Logan realized that it wasn’t almost a year until the wedding; not anymore. I didn’t realize how fast … “So I needed as much time as possible to be sure the dress was done in time, so they can photograph the process, and if you’re getting a custom -” 

 “I appreciate you trying to help.” He gritted his teeth. It’s the first time you’ve actually shown any interest in … “But I’m not going to be fitted for my wedding tux with a stranger, Ari. Mattie’s been my personal -” 

 “Logan.” He heard the woman’s tone change, and could almost picture the look in her eyes changing with it. “I know you love that woman and what she’s done for you, but … this is your wedding. It’s a once in a lifetime thing, and you’re a Delos, you need to -” No. I don’t. 

 “Once in a lifetime?” He laughed at that. “Alright.” So I’m just supposed to, what, stay single after we’re done? “Look, I have nothing against wearing a designer tux to the wedding, and I probably will end up doing that, but I want to at least talk with Mattie, see what my options are.” He gritted his teeth. “You can even have your dress designer send over a sketch or something. I won’t see it, but then Mattie’ll have an idea of what you’re going for so that …” A tux is a tux, it’s … a classic. “Ari, I want to work with you on this, that’s all I’ve ever wanted, but that doesn’t mean …” 

 “Doesn’t mean what, Logan?” There was an edge to the woman’s voice. “You’ve been trying to get me to help you plan this for months now, and I’ve finally made a decision, and you -”

 “Yeah. To help me plan, it Ariella.” He sighed. “Not do it for me. Not decide what I’m going to wear, or when I’m going to … it’s a fucking tux. It isn’t going to take months to -” 

 “There’s going to be press there.” He could hear the smug look on her face. “Stirring up more interest -” Of course there is. Of fucking … 

 “Thanks for the heads up.” He realized that he was gripping his phone tightly and exhaled, reminding himself to relax. This isn’t going to help. “How’d we get here, Ari? We used to like each other, and now I feel like this is …” She laughed, the sound cruel. 

 “It made sense at first. We used to have fun together. If I’d known you were going to expect me to …” You’re almost 30 years old, Ariella. And going to inherit … fuck. “We’re just moving further and further apart, aren’t we, Logan.” It wasn’t a question, and Logan didn’t have a response. This is the most … honest she’s been with me in… “It’ll work itself out.” She paused, and as Logan gathered his thoughts to reply to her, she spoke once more, a haughty laugh at the end. “Maybe you just need a good fuck. That always seemed to cheer you up.” 

 His fingers tightened on the phone again and Logan stood from his desk, the chair rolling backwards. “You have -” 

 “That girl I met, the one at Juliet’s the night of Jim’s party?” Don’t you dare. “She said you weren’t sleeping together, and if that’s true, it’s a shame, especially for her.” He felt his lip curling. This is because I won’t go along with your fucking … “But Jesus, Logan, you have Hosts right there with you, too, if you’re not fucking the babysitter, at least -” 

 “Yeah, Ari. I’ve got options. Just like you.” He fought the urge to slam the phone down onto his desktop, instead taking a deep breath and then letting it out. “Only difference is that I’m not gonna drag actual people into this and lie to ‘em.” He heard Ariella hum, followed by a sigh of her own.

“I practically told her what was going on, Logan. It’s not like -” So you did it on purpose. 

 “And how many other people have you practically told? How many -” He was growing angrier by the second, venturing into uncharted territory as questions about his fiancee’s exploits loomed ahead of him. “How many times have you …” Violated the contract and broken the NDA? When Ariella spoke again, her voice was low, almost seductive, and for a few seconds, Logan was reminded of the first few times they’d met, the way she’d spoken to him - and why he’d been interested in the first place. 

 “What are you asking me, Logan?” She laughed quietly, a groan reaching his ear. “How many people I’ve had sex with since you and I got engaged, or how many times I’ve gone against the terms of the deal?” Oh, she’s… she’s good. “Because one of those has a number, Logan, and the other?” She breathed his name out again, elongating the o, and Logan closed his eyes. “The other one, you wouldn’t like hearing.” The sultriness gone, Ariella spoke once more, the hard edge back, and her tone full of resentment. “I’m not fucking stupid, Logan. I know my way around a contract, and know what happens if this gets out.” 

 “Fantastic, Ari. Wonderful. Thanks for -” 

 “We’re getting married, Logan. You could at least try to be a little excited about it. Oh, and by the way? I’m emailing Oliver today. I’ll be at that goddamn fundraiser next weekend with you. We need to be seen together at a public event again.” The line went dead, and Logan was left standing in front of his office window, the device hard against his palm. I can’t believe she … But he wasn’t focused on the revelation that she would be his plus one the following week, or that she’d confirmed what he knew to be true about her nighttime habits. She never said she told anyone, but she… if she’s sleeping with… they have to know something. 

 He took the few steps back to his desk and set his phone down, reaching for the office phone. Picking it up, he dialed Juliet’s extension, drumming his fingertips on the wooden surface. Maybe we … “Jules?” He swallowed as his sister answered, trying to calm himself down. “Do you have a couple minutes this afternoon?” 

 “Of course, Logan, I can come down now, if you want, I was just about to go to lunch.” I don’t think you need to … 

 “No, sometime this afternoon is fine, before you leave? Don’t waste your lunch.” The contract itself is solid, but if she … “I’ll be in my office the rest of the day, so just let me know.” She told him that she would, and Logan hung the phone up, staring at his computer monitor. I don’t have a copy here, but it’s at home, I can… Eyes landing on his cell phone again, Logan picked that back up, quickly unlocking it and navigating to your text thread, fingers hovering over the keys.  No, not a text. Call her. So he did, eyes flicking to the clock as he waited through five rings and your voicemail silently. She’s busy, she … But his phone rang almost immediately after he ended the call, the screen lighting up with the picture he’d taken of you in the hotel. “Hey, I hope I’m not -” 

 “You’re not.” You cleared your throat. “Took a quick break so that I could call you back, but … is everything alright, Logan? It’s -” No, it’s not, but it … it could be. “You haven’t called in the middle of the day in a while, I…” 

 “No, it’s good. I’m going to order something to eat in a minute but I wanted to …” He pressed his lips together. “Do you want to come over for dinner tonight? We can cook at my place, watch a movie or something.” She’s going to say no. 

 “I have to work late tonight. I won’t be out of here until almost five, and then it’ll be rush hour, so I don’t know how long it -” You stopped, and Logan heard you take a breath. “Do you mind if I get there later than I did last time?” 

 “You can’t control the traffic.” He felt a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “And I can start the food before you get there, it usually doesn’t take me long to get back from the office.” He said your name, waiting until you’d acknowledged it to continue. “And before you say anything else, don’t worry about going home after work to change.” 

 “How’d you know I was going to …” You trailed off. “You know what? Nevermind. Fine.” He heard a phone ring in the background on your end of the line, but Logan was reluctant to hang up. It’s good to hear a friendly voice. “Are you sure that everything’s good, Logan? You seem off.” She hears that through the … “You can tell me later if you want, we don’t really have time right now, and I know that you don’t half ass anything.” I don’t. 

 “You’re damn right about about that.” Logan ran a hand through his hair, scratching the back of his neck briefly. “So I should plan on seein’ you about … six?” 

 “Yeah, probably.” You cleared your throat. “I have to go, I’m really busy, Logan. I’m sorry, I -” 

 “No, don’t apologize. I’ll see you later.” You said goodbye and then hung up, and Logan leaned back in his chair, both hands behind his head, the fingers laced together at the nape of his neck. The difference in those two … He sighed, letting out a long breath, and then closed his eyes, thinking. Don’t get ahead of yourself, Logan. Ariella’s not stupid. She would have covered her tracks if she’d told anyone. As Logan’s eyes opened, he thought of you telling him that he deserved better, that he wasn’t being selfish. That’s not what everyone told me. That they all think that all I think about is myself. It’s why William was able to … why Jim …why all those …  “Fuck.” 

 He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk and then dropping his face into his waiting hands, fingers disappearing into his hairline. I was too fucking selfish back then and it backfired on me, and now when I need to be selfish? I … I feel guilty about it. Logan rubbed at his eyes before opening them and looking around at his office. I deserve this. Even if I don’t marry her, even if I … Jim can’t… he won’t … But as Logan’s gaze moved across the room, he realized that it wouldn’t be as simple as finding a way out of the Ariella portion of the contract if it was possible - it would be convincing Jim that it was the right thing to do, too. 

 --- 

 By the time you parked next to Logan’s car in the parking garage, you were more than ready to get out of the car. It’s fifteen fucking miles but it just took me 50 minutes to … You pressed the button on the elevator and waited, contemplating texting Logan to tell him you were there, but then opted not to, figuring he could deal with it if you just showed up at the door. He knows I’m coming, he …  You rubbed at your eyes, blinking quickly and thinking about how if it had been anyone but Logan that had invited you over, you would have canceled.  But he sounded like he was having a bad day, I can’t … can’t do that to him. 

 You’d seen Logan a handful of times in the five weeks since the night at Juliet’s, the man coming over to your place twice, you going to his place on a few occasions, seeing each other at Juliet’s once, but things had never gotten to the point that they had that night again. You talked a lot - on the phone and through texts, reaching out to each other at least a few times a week. It’s for the best, you admitted as you raised a hand to knock on his door. The more we … the harder it is to … You heard him call out that it was unlocked, and without waiting, you twisted the knob and pushed it open, stepping into the apartment. Oh, it smells… “Logan?” 

 “Kitchen!” He called out to you, and even though you took a few seconds to remove your shoes, you rounded the corner less than 30 seconds after you’d entered, feeling yourself growing warm as you saw him standing in front of his stove, a pair of rubber-ended tongs in one hand. “Hey.” He glanced at you, a smile on his face and then looked back at what he was doing. He looks … so normal. 

 “It smells like …” You moved closer, resisting the urge to slide your hand against his lower back and your arm around his waist. “Stir fry?” Peering over his arm, you glanced into the pan, eyeing the meat and vegetables inside. “It is!” 

 “Yeah, it was fast, and I already had everything, so …” Logan again glanced at you, voice catching. “Is it alright? We don’t have to -” But instead of answering, you reached over his arm and into the pan, carefully lifting a piece of green pepper and putting it into your mouth. “That’s hot, you -” 

 “It’s great, Logan.” You closed your eyes, chewing. “What can’t you do?” He laughed at that, the sound putting you at ease. “No, I’m serious, it’s really good. Is that…” Putting your thumb in your mouth and sucking the sauce from it, you paused. “Orange? I can taste the ginger, but it…”

 “It is.” You looked up, seeing that Logan was eyeing your hand, the tip of your thumb resting just against your lip. Oh, oops. “I’m surprised you taste it, I didn’t use much, because I -” You returned his smile, reaching up with your clean hand to squeeze his arm just below the edge of his t-shirt sleeve. 

 “It’s good, Logan. Stop worrying.” One side of his lips twitched as he nodded, and then you let go, turning back to the sink to wash your hands. “I’m sorry it took me so long,” you spoke as the water ran, watching him out of the corner of your eye. “Traffic was a mess. I was stopped on 110 by the Intercontinental for like twenty minutes.” 

 “Damn, you can pretty much see my place from there.” You snorted in laugher, turning and looking for the towel to dry your hands with. I know it’s… “Shoulder. I was usin’ it to keep from splashing my hand with oil, and I never put it back.” Reaching up for it, you pulled the cloth from where it rested, thoroughly drying your hands off. “I don’t need it anymore, you can hang it on the hook.” Doing as he asked, you stepped back and watched Logan, his eyes focused on the food in front of him. “If you’re thirsty, you can get a beer or something out of the fridge, I’m sure you need it after that traffic.” That sounds … yeah. 

 It was still strange for you to be in such close proximity to Logan, and to have it be so effortless, though you could tell he was slightly distracted by something. “Do you want one, Logan?” Ducking down, you peered into the refrigerator, pulling out a bottle. “And if -” 

 “Get me one of the Lost Abbey Poppies.” Pushing a few bottles around, you found one, fingers closing around it. “Glasses are all the way to the right, and if you need a bottle opener for yours, it’s in the top drawer behind me.” Thanking him quietly, you set both bottles down on the counter, turning to open the cupboard for two tall glasses. “You wanna grab plates, too? They’re -”

 “I remember.” Opening the third cupboard from the right, you glanced over at the pan and then pulled out two large plates, setting them down on the counter and then turning back to the beer. “Do you want the whole thing poured, Logan, or just -” 

 “It should fit. If you wanna taste it, you can.” I do. Twisting the metal cage off the top of the bottle, you carefully uncorked it, lifting the neck to your nose and inhaling. “It’s one of my favorites. It’s a sour, but that’s what you were drinking at Juliet’s, so…” I was, but I didn’t think he’d...  You heard him flip the stove off, lifting one of the glasses and tilting it, pouring his beer slowly. “How hungry are you?” 

 “Very.” Perfect fit. You grinned as Logan’s beer filled the glass, the dark amber colored liquid nearly reaching the top. Maybe I will taste it, it smells amazing. You brought the edge of the glass to your lips and took a drink, unsure of what to expect. Oh, it is sour but it … Swallowing, you saw that Logan had already dished out the stir fry onto the two plates, turning toward you and holding them in his hands, a grin on his face. “That’s tart, goddamn.” He laughed and set the plates down, pulling another drawer open to get out forks, setting one on each dish. 

 “Told you.” He gave you a wink and you took another small sip before you handed him the glass, watching as he followed your lead and took a gulp. “You gotta open yours.” Right. Looking away from him and down, you pulled the drawer open, reaching in to move its contents around as you looked for the bottle opener. Even his junk drawer is clean. With a small smile on your lips, you shifted a tin box to the side and then used one finger to lift it, moving around a few pens and a pair of scissors. But no bottle opener. As you rummaged through the drawer, you again moved the tin, flipping it over as you pushed it to the center of the space. “Ah, shit.” You swore as a small sprinkling of white powder spilled from it, landing on the back of your fingers and a hand towel that was folded beneath it. “Logan, I -” 

 “You should wash your hand off.” Turning your head to look at him, you saw that he was watching you with an unreadable look in his eyes, though the closest thing you could describe it as was anger. “I’ll -” What? Why? It’s just … But you glanced down again, looking at the powder, eyebrows shooting up and your entire body freezing. It’s drugs. He’s got … Oh, Logan. 

 “Yeah, I …” You pulled your hand back, glancing up at him and then down at the sprinkling of powder. “Thanks.” In the few seconds it took you to turn the water on and begin cleaning your hands, you heard Logan rummaging through the drawer again, and then the sound of it closing. Let him explain. You have no right to judge him. 

 “If you still want to eat, you can sit at the table outside, I’ll go into my -” What? Reaching for the towel again, you dried your hands, spinning back to look at Logan, whose arms were crossed over his chest. “You shouldn’t have seen that.” No, I shouldn’t have, but I did. “I’m -”

 “Is it yours, Logan?” You wanted - and needed - to be direct with him. “I mean, obviously, you don’t have to answer that, but …” 

 “It’s not.” He looked down at the drawer and then back at you, letting his arms drop to his sides. “The first weekend you came here? To watch that show?” You nodded. “She left it here then. I told her no, but she put it in the drawer because she didn’t want to try to get it through airport security, and … I forgot about it, I guess.” That’s a reasonable … “I should have thrown it away, but …” He flattened his hand on the countertop, shrugging his shoulders. “I didn’t.” I believe him. 

 “Alright.” You reached forward, taking the bottle opener from his hand and wiping it off on the towel - just in case - before you popped the cap off of your beer. “I believe you, Logan.” Before the small piece of metal had landed on the counter, Logan’s arms were around you, the man crushing you to his chest. What is he … But you hugged him back, closing your eyes at the feeling of his chest rising and falling against your cheek, the way his hands were pressed to your back. 

 You’d hugged hello and goodbye each time you’d seen him since the night he kissed you, and Logan had pressed a few short - and friendly - kisses to the side of your head, too, but for the most part, you’d been hands off with each other. This feels different than… “Thank you.” He spoke the words against your hair, giving you one more squeeze before he pushed back slightly, looking down at you. “For believing me.” 

 “If you were going to lie to me, Logan, it would have been before this.” You looked down at the closed drawer and then back at the man, allowing yourself to meet his eyes. “You said it’s not yours, and I believe you. I saw her at Juliet’s, so I know she …” Tightening his grip on you, Logan leaned in, and for a few seconds, you thought he was going to kiss you again, but instead, he turned his head, lips landing against your cheek and lingering. “Jesus, Logan, the way you’re acting, you’d think that no one ever …”

 “They don’t.” He straightened up, swallowing hard. “Or they didn’t, anyway. And … it’s not important.” He took a deep breath and then let it out, still watching you. “Do you still want -” 

 “Yes.” You reached over, picking up your beer bottle and then tipping it over and into your glass, Logan’s arms falling away from you. “I came here to eat dinner with you, so let’s eat dinner, Logan Delos.” You lifted the glass with one hand and your plate with the other, tilting your head toward the living room. “Inside or out?” 

 “Balcony.” He grinned at you, picking his own plate and glass up. “I like the view.” Yeah, I do, too. 

 --- 

 The sun was beginning to drop behind the buildings by the time you finished eating, Logan clearing the dishes and taking your empty glass inside with him, returning to the patio with two new drinks and a clean glass for you. “What did you bring me?” Smiling at the man, you reached up, letting him put a bottle into your hand. “The Poppy? You didn’t have to -” 

 “I’ll get more.” He lowered himself back into his seat, pushing away from the table and leaning back. “So you were busy today? At work?” I was. You rolled your eyes, uncorking the bottle and hesitating before you poured it into the glass, instead raising the bottle neck to your lips and tilting your head back. Really fucking busy. 

 “They changed the filing system, so we’re in the process of migrating everything over. And I’m in charge of figuring out what we’re going to do with the old records, and have to make sure that …” You trailed off. “It’s boring, Logan. You don’t care. Nowhere near as interesting as…” 

 “I do care.” He sounded sincere, lifting his bottle to his lips and foregoing the glass, too. “I know that kind of change is really stressful.” It is. 

 “Well, it sucks now, but it’s not all bad, because as an incentive for taking on the lead position, I get to represent Woodbury next week at this education fundraiser.” The look on his face changed as you spoke, flashing from interest to surprise and then back to impassive, the man staying quiet. Weird. “So I get to change out of this,” you gestured at your work outfit - a simple short-sleeved white button down and dark, ankle length jeans - “and into a nice dress.” You wrinkled your nose. “I just need to pick one out this weekend, but.” You took another drink. “Juliet’s going to be there, she was excited when I told her that I was going, too.” 

 “Are you talking about next Saturday?” You nodded, confirming. “Juliet’s not going, she had a scheduling conflict.” You watched Logan wet his lips, leaning back in. She told me the other day that she was … that’s weird. “So I’m going instead.” Oh. But Juliet said she was going to try to … “What? What’s that look for?” 

 “Juliet said she was going to make sure that she and I were at the same table, so that means …” He swore loudly, closing his eyes and reaching up to grip the back of his neck. Ok, well, clearly he doesn’t want to sit with … “Maybe she didn’t -”

 “No, I’m sure she did.” He gritted his teeth, then took a long drink of his beer. “And that’d be great, except for one thing.” What one thing? “Ariella’s coming in for it, she surprised me with that information today after telling me yesterday that she couldn’t .” 

 “Oh, that’s going to be fun.” You gulped back beer too, feeling the excitement that you’d had for the event waning. “A whole night of her making more comments about my sex life, and about you and I -” 

 “I’ll make sure we’re not sitting with you.” He sounded angry, shifting in his chair. “I’m not gonna put you through that at something you’re looking forward to, especially not something that you’re doing for work.” He reached across the table, touching the back of your hand. “It’s a lot of fun, and I don’t want to ruin it for you.” Yeah, well… it won’t be you ruining it. “I told you, though, you were at a lot of events with Juliet, this would have been another to add to the list.” Yeah, it’s funny how things work out. You pulled your hand back before you did something stupid and flipped it to take his. Can’t do that. 

 “Yeah, it would have.” He looked surprised that you’d pulled away from him, but didn’t comment on it. Wait a minute. “You said she told you today she was coming? Was this before or after you called me, Logan?” I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t think that this invitation was because he … 

 “Right before.” It hurt a little, knowing that he’d been upset by the other woman and  then called you, but at the same time, it surprised you. That means he thought that I’d be able to make him … “But it wasn’t just about next week, it was also because she …” He rubbed his forehead with one long finger. “C’mon, let’s go inside.” Surprised at the abrupt suggestion, you agreed, standing and picking up the bottle and unused glass, carrying both into the apartment and placing the glass onto the countertop before walking back to the couch, settling onto it. 

 Logan lowered himself down next to you, but he stayed sitting up, legs spread and the bottle held in one hand between them, head down. “Logan, is everything…” 

 “I’m getting fitted for a suit next week, for the event.” Ok, and? “My assistant came in to confirm the appointment, and told me that I also had a tux fitting for the wedding on the same day at the same place.” What? I didn’t know you … “Ari set it up. She… I guess she picked out her dress, and also picked out the tux she wants me to wear. But she didn’t even … I got mad, and so I called her to tell her I was pickin’ my own out, and it turned into an argument.” 

 “What does she want you to wear?” Though you were upset that the woman was attempting to take something else away from Logan, you were also curious. “And who’s her -” He glanced over at you, hair falling into his eyes. 

 “Donno about her dress. But … Brioni for me. So I mean…” He shrugged, a tiny smile appearing briefly on his lips. “Could be worse, I guess, but still, she didn’t let me … if I’m gonna do this, I at least want some control over …” I get it. He trailed off, and you allowed yourself a few seconds to imagine Logan in a tux, but as soon as your mind moved to Ariella in a wedding dress, you cleared your throat. No. 

 “Why is it such a big deal to her? What you wear, I mean? And you don’t need to get it tailored this soon, do you? It’s months away, and -”

 “That’s what I said. But she … she thinks that because she picked a dress, me going into a place like that is good press.” He huffed, breath escaping his lips in a loud whoosh. “And she said that there’d be cameras there, people waiting to see me and take pictures of…” 

 “Is this whole thing a PR stunt for her, Logan? Does it ever end?” You spoke before you could stop yourself, and at the swing of his head toward you, you widened your eyes, taking a long gulp of your beer. Oops. “I mean, I -”

 “Yeah, it is. She’s gonna use this relationship as long as she can. That’s why I was so damn careful to include the amicable divorce clause in there. She would have made me - and Delos - look terrible otherwise, like it was my fault entirely that the marriage failed, even though we knew it was gonna be that way from the beginning. I couldn’t let that happen.” You can’t let a lot of things happen, Logan. “I’ll admit that when I was younger? Seeing myself online or in the magazines was exciting. I liked knowing that people were talking about me, that they cared what I did, or what Juliet did. And then they took it too far, publishing shit about my mom and dad, about my mom’s death, about Juliet an’ me… and it wasn’t the fun stuff, it was … it hurt. My lifestyle was one thing. I was with a lot of people in a short period of time, and it was what it was.” 

 “Logan, I don’t even know what it …” You didn’t know what to say, or how you’d react to your anonymity being stolen. “It’s toned down in the last couple years, right? You’re… well, I mean there’s the Ariella stuff, but besides that, it’s all about Delos, about the things you’ve been doing with -” 

 “It is. Now. I worked hard to make sure of that.” He settled back against the cushions of the couch, stretching one arm over the back of it and behind where you sat. “I told you before that Jim’s a shitty dad, but the one good thing he’s done for me recently, aside from giving me the chance to prove to him that I can lead Delos?” Logan looked over at you, expression serious. “He was honest with me. Said that my mom would have been really fucking disappointed in me, and even if I didn’t give a shit about myself, I should think about that.” 

 “Oh, Logan.” You winced. “He -”

 “No, it was a good thing. I needed to hear it. It didn’t help right away because I had a lot of shit to get over, but … it stuck. And then when I started appearing on news shows, and talking at conferences and actually staying sober for investor meetings and trips into the parks?” Logan wet his lips. “I liked those headlines. It wasn’t about who I was fucking, or where I was on a bender, or what I looked like while I was healin’ from …” He closed his eyes, wrinkling his nose. “It was for the shit I wanted to be doing. Building the brand. Making a name for myself that had nothing to do with me blowing a hundred grand in Miami in a weekend, or who was pissed at me, or what rehab I checked out of.” You winced at his words, realizing that if Logan had been candid with you in the past, he was being downright open with you that night. “And then we got engaged, and it’s been back to the gossipy bullshit, but it’s all positive, so…” 

 You moved closer to him on the couch, twisting and leaning one shoulder against the back cushion so that you could face him. “Have you talked with her about the fact that you … don’t want your entire relationship to play out on camera?” Deciding to speak quickly, you continued. “I mean she’s clearly not going to stop entirely, but there has to be a compromise, right? There can’t be a part of your contract that requires you to … make yourself available 24/7. I mean, you’re a Delos, and you’re in charge, so you can’t avoid some of it, but … people seem alright with not knowing everything, so maybe she …” 

 “No, she wants it. She’s afraid that if she’s not in the spotlight, people will… forget about her? I don’t know. For her, the attention is worth the loss of privacy, even though it makes it much fucking harder for my team to keep…” He paused, eyeing you. “Fuck it. She craves this attention, but then gets pissed when photographers catch her doing shit she shouldn’t be. It’s happened multiple times, even after we got engaged. We’ve had to buy the rights to pictures of her hanging all over someone, or walking into and out of a hotel with them, or…” That’s such bullshit, Logan. So fucking … how could she? 

 “You know, Logan, the more you tell me about her?” You let out a quiet chuckle, but it was sarcastic. “The more I just wonder how … what even made you interested in her in the first place. I know you said that you weren’t always thinking clearly in the beginning, and she’s really pretty, but I guess … I don’t know, it seems like you don’t really make it a habit of going back to … but you did with her.” 

 “Wow.” He narrowed his eyes at you. “You really just …” I did. And I don’t regret it. You’re the one that wanted to be friends with me, and this is … “Before I answer, can I ask you something?” 

 “Yes.” You lifted one leg, tucking it beneath your other thigh and bending the arm that was against the back of the couch, propping your head up. “Of course.” What could he possibly… 

 “Are you this direct with everyone, or just with me?” At the shocked expression on your face, he laughed. “What? You’re not the only one that’s gonna ask the tough questions.” No, I shouldn’t be. “I guess I just wanna know if you’re being harder on me than you would on someone else.” Answer. You owe him an explanation, especially since you asked something like… 

 “Logan, I …” 

 --- 

 Is she going to answer, or give me some bullshit … “I’m treating you like I would anyone else, Logan. You don’t get a pass because you’re… you.” You lifted your shoulders in a small shrug. “Just because I like you doesn’t mean you get to get away with …” He grinned, closing his eyes. Good. That’s all I … “Isn’t that what we agreed on?” He watched your eyes move over his face, a slight hint of worry in them. Yes. Logan nodded at you, and without thinking about it, moved his hand from the back of the couch, letting his fingers rest on your shoulder. Though you glanced down, you didn’t say anything, instead looking back at him. “Well?” 

 Taking a moment to collect his thoughts, Logan’s mind drifted from Ariella to the conversation you’d had after Juliet’s, setting the ground rules for your friendship. No conversational topics were off limits, unless it was something that he couldn’t talk about because of work or because of the NDA, even though you knew most of it. You’d agreed to sign an agreement if he wanted you to, to ensure that the arrangement stayed a secret, but Logan hadn’t felt it was necessary. She wouldn’t say anything, I … the fact that she offered is enough. General touching was fine - hugs, hands, a kiss on the cheek or the top of the head - but both of you agreed that there couldn’t be any additional actual kissing, despite the fact that he knew it had pained you to suggest that - and then stick to it. That part’s a goddamn … He swallowed, thinking of the way he’d gone straight from Juliet’s to Delos HQ on the way home, pulling one of the female Hosts into a private room and getting his frustration out. I had to, I was so wound up, it was … He watched you, thinking. It helped, but it didn’t … it wasn’t… these past few weeks have … Shaking his head to clear it, Logan returned  to your question. “I liked her because she was like me. Because she knew what it was like to grow up like I had.” He squeezed your shoulder. “Too much goddamn money, too few people telling us no.” 

 “I understand that, Logan.” The hand that wasn’t propping your head up was resting on your thigh, and he saw you rub the material of your jeans, a frown on your face. “So did you think you were just going to be friends, or that she was going to become a regular partner, or what? I guess I …” 

 “I was a piece of shit back then.” He sucked air through his teeth. “You would have hated me, and it wouldn’t have mattered, because all I woulda been doing was trying to get you in bed.” See? I can be real honest, too. “With her? I didn’t have to worry about that, because she was the same way. I was still learning my limits - going from casually using during college and right after to full blown … well, let’s just …” He gritted his teeth. “If I wasn’t high, I was fucking someone, because I didn’t have to think  about what happened to me, or what was going to happen to me while we were in bed. Delos wasn’t my biggest priority. My next high was.” You think you wanna hear this shit, but I’m sure you won’t soon enough.

 “Juliet … Juliet said that she was worried about losing you, Logan. That things got so bad for you that … something happened with her ex, and you didn’t … care what happened to you.” She doesn’t want to say any of this, but she’s not … she’s not trying to avoid it, either.

 “She did worry. And they did get bad. Something did happen with William, and for a while I …” Logan pressed his lips together to the point of pain and then sighed. “I wanted to die. I thought it would be easier, that it would be better. Ariella was a distraction from that, a way to … she wasn’t a Host. She wasn’t someone random, it was familiar, and I…” Without lifting his hand from your arm, he used the other one to scrub it over his beard. “I got used to it. It wasn’t anything serious, but it was kind of nice to be able to … have someone, you know?” He’d never explained his relationship with Ariella to anyone in depth before - not even Juliet. This is so goddamn strange. So… “But then I decided that I didn’t want to live like that anymore, and I went to rehab. It didn’t stick the first time, and I left early. Juliet supported me at first, but when I left? She said that she couldn’t have me around Em if I wasn’t going to …” 

 “How bad was it, Logan?” You spoke softly, eyes on him. “You, I mean? How bad were …” 

 “You really haven’t seen the pictures? There were so many of ‘em, of me in Hollywood, me with a buncha different people, looking like -” 

 “No.” You cut him off. “I mean I’m sure I’ve seen some of them, but I don’t remember ever specifically reading anything about you … like that.” 

 ‘I was a mess. Probably twenty five pounds lighter, my hair was …” He thought back to the pictures of him from that time period; beard overgrown and unkempt, hair greasy and at times, the ends grazing the base of his neck, eyes constantly glassy and dull. “To be honest, I don’t know why she was still interested in sleepin’ with me, because there’s no goddamn way I -” 

 “Logan.” You took a deep breath. “I can think of a lot of reasons why she would have …” You forced a smile. “And none of them have anything to do with the way you look or the way you are in bed.” He’d thought the same thing, too, once he’d gotten clean and seen the way Ariella treated him, the way that she would flaunt her family’s wealth and status to everyone else, yet expect Logan to handle financials whenever they were together, the way she never quite asked how Logan was, instead trying to get a feel - through Juliet, too - about Delos. And that’s why I started to pull away, why I… 

 “Yeah, I know, it’s my personality, right? I’m kinda charming.” He winked at you, but couldn’t keep the sadness from his voice, watching as your expression changed too, hurt in your eyes. She sees it and she’s met Ari once. 

 “Logan, that … you are, but …” I know. 

 “No, you mean money, and you’re probably right. It would have worked out for her either way, I guess. If she was the one I was seen with most often, and she was publicly there for me when I was getting clean, she looked like a supportive … girlfriend. And then if she stayed around after, too, it was like she’d been a part of my …” His lip curled. “Even though she had nothing to fucking do with it.” 

 “Of course she didn’t.” You reached over, squeezing his knee, then leaving your hand there. “It was all you, Logan.” You drew the corner of your lip into your mouth. “If she was clean too, do you think … do you think things would be different?” That’s a good question. 

 “At the beginning, I did. I thought maybe if she saw that I was much happier and healthier, and more capable sober? She’d want to do the same, and we could see what happened. But I got better, and she just kept … she didn’t change. And I saw the real Ari, so I started… well, I went back to the other people, tried to focus on work. I was still with her occasionally, you know? Because we did some business together, and it just kind of … from there, her parents and Jim got involved, and here we are.” He looked up at his ceiling. “I thought that if we got engaged, maybe things would change. That she’d want to clean up and get straight with my help, but she has no reason to. She’s never had the threat of losing her job, losing her … losing everything hanging over her head like I have. And so she sees no -”

 “Do you think she’s going to stop once you get married?” Your hand was still on his leg, Logan very aware of the weight of it, the warmth. No. I know she won’t, but the difference is that she’ll be doing this shit under my roof. “The … the sex she has to, because the two of you will be … but the drugs? The -” 

 “I hope she will. But what’s that saying? Hope in one hand and shit in the other, see which fills up faster?” He lowered his head. “I told you before, this is all my own doing. I’m here - right now, in this situation - because I fucked everything up. I embarrassed myself and Delos, and my family, and now I … what’s three fucking years? I spent that much time high as a goddamn -” 

 “It’s three more years where you can’t be happy, Logan. Three more years of pretending to … to have everything you want.” You leaned in, Logan’s hand slipping over the back of your shoulder. “Three less years of -” He leaned in closer, angling his head and aiming for your mouth, but at your whispered “no” he stopped. The fuck are you doing, Logan? Before he could straighten up, Logan felt both of your hands on his face, thumbs stroking over his cheeks. “I think I get it, Logan. You were drawn to her because she wasn’t just a random person. You being with her made sense, even in a non-committed way, and that’s why you went back, because it … there’s some connection there. I know there is. And maybe she’ll see it when you live together.” How is she saying this right now? How is she …  “I hope she does, Logan. I hope you …” 

 “Do you?” I need to know. I need to hear what you … He was pushing it; testing the limits of your honesty, testing you again, but he couldn’t help it. “Do you really want to think about me with -”

 “No.” You squeezed your eyes shut, pulling your hands away from his face and clasping them together in your lap. “No, because I don’t think she’s a nice person, and I think that she’s going to do whatever she can to get whatever she can out of this and out of you. And I think that because of a conversion that Juliet and I had about her the day of the pool party, and another one when you were gone on that first trip with your new clients.” What? “I think your sister … there’s something she’s still trying to make up for, with you, and that means she’s paying attention, even more closely now.” 

 “Jules is … she’s pretty much all I’ve got. Her and Em. My father’s better now, but it won’t … I won’t ever …” 

 “I know. She told me that too. But Logan, Juliet wants to see you happy and healthy and successful, and she’s never said that you being with Ariella is going to help you with any of that. She basically said the opposite, and that worries me.” He knew that Juliet hated the situation, but hearing that Juliet had also spilled that to you surprised him. 

 “Two out of three isn’t bad, though, right?” 

 “You trying to convince me or yourself?” Again, she has a point. It’s the right … 

 He straightened up, reaching out to take your hands in his. “Like I said to you the other day, I never thought I’d get marred at all. I’m not the type of guy that needs that kind of relationship, so I guess that doing this … it doesn’t mean as much, so I don’t feel like I’m losing as much. Look at my mom and dad. Look at Juliet. They prove that getting married isn’t exactly something permanent. So what’s a couple years? 

 “Who are you trying to convince, Logan?” You squeezed his hands. “You might not have thought you’d get married, but it’s gotta hurt that you’re going to go through with a wedding and the planning and spending all that money and time, and you already know it’s going to end.” Pausing, you arched an eyebrow. “I don’t care who you are, that sucks.” It does. “I didn’t mean for this to turn into…” He watched as you closed your eyes, taking a deep breath. “Logan, the truth is that what I think doesn’t matter. This has nothing to do with me. You’re going to marry her, and you’re going to follow through on the contract you agreed to, because that’s who you are. You know what you’re doing, and -” 

 He tightened his hold on your hands, listening not only to your words, but how you said them. She’s definitely convincing herself. “I do. I know what I’m doing, and what I agreed to. I understand the terms of the deal, and what it means if they get broken.” 

 “What does happen, Logan?” He heard you sniff quietly, averting your eyes. “If one of you were to break the terms, or try to back out?” Another good question. He said your name, waiting until you’d looked up. 

 “If, for example one of us were to let out to the wrong person that this was a business deal and not a real relationship? That it’s a stunt? And then that person were to tell someone else? There’s a financial penalty. A huge one.” One that I could easily pay right now, but … “And then the fallout from that; both companies looking bad, looking like we were trying to trick everyone. It ruins credibility, ruins what we’ve worked so hard to create with Delos over the years.” He swallowed. “And it doesn’t just hurt me, it would hurt Juliet, too. And Em. And the future of Delos.” He sighed. “And Ari, too. Her family, her company, their future.” But she doesn’t seem to … she’s still… “And there’s another penalty if one of us tries to just … back out, too, before or after we get married.” Unless what Jules and I talked about today has any merit. “But in that case?” He leaned in again, head shaking back and forth. “The one that didn’t back out also gets to come out on top, and it’d be …”

 “They’d blame you. If you wanted to back out, they’d get to … trash Delos. Trash your reputation, make it -” Bingo. 

 “My father’s … this is a lesson. This is the most exhausting fucking lesson he’s ever tried to…” Logan stopped, staring at your hands and the way they looked held in his. “And you’re right, this doesn’t have anything to do with you, except now it does, because you know what’s going on.” And it feels good to talk about it, feels… “But I think I … I started this thinking that maybe Ariella and I could be alright with each other, that even if I was sober, things could go back to how they’d been in the beginning where we liked each other and got along.” He took a deep breath. “When I didn’t resent the shit out of her.” That’s the first time I’ve ever said that to anyone. 

 “Oh, Logan.” You pulled your hands out of his and leaned all the way in, arms going around his neck to hug him tightly. “I just feel…” He held you, arms winding around your body, Logan’s eyes closing. “Damn.” The two of you stayed like that for long seconds, the faint sounds of the air conditioning unit the only noise in the room. There was nothing overly affectionate or sexual about the way you were touching him, but Logan felt closer to you than he had even when he’d had his hands and mouth on you. Why? Why is … “How are you going to get through this, Logan? Three years of … it’s going to get worse.” I know it is. But I hope … 

 “I won’t be alone.” He felt your breath hit his neck, just above the collar of his shirt. “I’ve got Juliet and Em, and I’ll have to travel for work, I’ll have …” He trailed off, thoughts going to the future, to the events he’d have to attend for work, Ariella at his side as his expected date. I didn’t even consider … He began running through the yearly Delos events, the places he’d need to be, the ones she’d be at with him, the way that his accomplishments would become theirs. “Oh, fuck.” He froze, eyes springing open, and he felt you do the same, pulling your head back so that you could look at him. “I won’t ever be alone.” 

 He watched the realization flicker in your eyes, too, and then saw your shoulders slump - but you never looked away from him. She’s taking this … “No, you won’t.” He watched you press your lips together briefly, then force a small smile, the fingers of one hand moving through the hair at the nape of his neck. She’s breaking the… But he didn’t want you to stop, instead just waiting for you to continue. “You’ll have Em and Juliet. You’ll have work. You’ll have your clients.” Your lips twitched, one eye briefly narrowing into an almost wink. “And you’ll have me. To -”

 “Yeah, but not …” He stopped himself, knowing that he had to choose his words carefully. Not the way I want to have you. He’d almost let it slip out, the words on the tip of his tongue before he’d realized it. Oh, Goddamn. Shit. Fuck. “Not as often.” He could tell that you knew he’d kept something from you, but didn’t ask what, instead just agreeing. 

 “Yeah, but Logan, friends don’t abandon each other.” Letting out a breath, you shrugged, hands still on him. “And unless your wife says something about the woman she thinks was sleeping with her husband still being his friend, I -” She’s never going to tell me who I can or can’t talk to. “I’ll be here for you to vent to, whenever you need.” He reached up, fingers circling your forearms and pulling your hands away from his neck, lowering them back into your lap. 

 “I’m gonna hold you to that.” He managed a grin, still watching you. “But I don’t know if that makes me … makes this better or worse.” You looked surprised but didn’t question it, just agreeing, and for the first time, Logan was absolutely certain that you cared about him in a way that was decidedly more than friendly, more than just a physical attraction. She get it. Gets me, gets … this even if … The two of you were setting yourself up for a disaster; he knew it, because he felt it, felt the emotion building up in his chest each time he spoke to you, the sensation almost overwhelming when he was with you. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t ever going to … feel something for someone, especially now. Especially with Ari and the next three and a half years planned out. Unless … 

 “You alright, Logan?” He felt your thumbs stroking over the insides of his wrists, the motion slow and rhythmic. “You look like you’re -”

 “I will be.” Does she mean it? Would she really stay around and watch me with … “Eventually.” Instead of pulling your hands away from his arms, you tightened your hold on him, the frown reappearing on your lips. I think she might. 

 ---

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[tsuumu]

hq boys and their part time jobs.

yet another unseries headcanon post made by yours truly! unlike my last one which you can find here, i won’t be involving every single major hq character so that’s just a heads up!! i can’t always envision stuff fully with every single person...

kageyama tobio: this boy thought that applying to work part-time at a sports shop would be fitting ‘cause of his love for volleyball, completely unaware that this would involve way too much social interaction and tolerance???? like he thought he’d just have to look like someone who does sports and occasionally restock yoga mats but these loud ass kids are coming up to him asking for this that and the other for sports he’s never heard of. suddenly he regrets the entire thing. plus, he has no idea how to use the cash register and it’s his worse nightmare to ring up items without wanting to stomp a hole into it to get the customer’s change.

hinata shoyo: shoyo went straight for the pet shelter because he’s in love with playing with the little puppies. this boy will full on roll around with them, stuff them under his shirt so their heads poke out and just.. intergrate and become one of them... the doggies love him so much n always clamber to sit on his lap because hinata treats them with so much love and kindness!! customers looking for pets often joke about taking him home bc he’s just as excitable and friendly as the actual dogs. he’s also really good at convincing people on the fence to get a pet and explaining their individual personalities because he knows them so well :(

nishinoya yuu: he said: supermarket assistant so he could ride around on the carts, intimidates literally every customer with his ungodly enthusiasm but is determined to help EVERYONE, he’ll run around the store taking people where they need to go but only if he actually remembers where they’re situated. otherwise this boy is like “yeah they’re just... that way.” and bolts in the other direction. gets along with all his colleagues and tells them all about his tournaments with karasuno. he’s not the star employee but it wouldn’t be the same w out him.. often asks the manager if he can taste test the market’s pastry section to which he is rejected every single time.

tanaka ryuu: he’s convinced working in his local gym was him in his element, he wears that tag thing like a badge of honour and just walks around showing people he works there instead of actually doing his job??? he’s also overly enthusiastic and will sometimes cheer on the people working out as if he’s some kind of zealous personal trainer and everybody is like “literally how old is this guy??” he’s surprisingly awesome at reception duty because he’s always chatting to regulars about how they’re doing... the practical side like schedules and paperwork he leaves for someone else, everyone just puts up with him bc he’s a mood setter.

sugawara koushi: don’t get me started on this boy as a teacher’s assistant, like he helps little kids out with their work, tidies up the class during their break times and reads them stories?? he’s THAT senior boy who’s the biggest sweetheart and seeing him handle kids so well is like ... does he want some of his own ?? i’d like to offer my expertise he’s always got a smile on his face, gets along with all the staff much older than him, he’s like this perfect boy they all dote on and he gets super flustered saying he just really likes helping out the children and making them smile. often brings them little snacks too and they all call him big brother BYE.

tsukkishima kei: he does some low-key shit that’s kinda wholesome like working with the eldery or tutoring kids but prefers for literally nobody to know about it because anything he does outside of school is his business. he does it because it’s good pay, there’s not much else to it. if anybody found out he’d be super irritated tbh it’s just an invasion of privacy to him but eventually wouldn’t care because every kid is getting part-time jobs these days.

oikawa tooru: bye he’s THAT guy who got his job at a retail store because he’s pretty. like he has no real interest in clothes or anything but he takes the job as a place to validate himself when girls come up to him purposefully to flirt. he’s winking and laughing with them and also NOT actually doing his job but he brings in customers so at least he’s somewhat useful. doesn’t know how to fold clothes or hang stuff on hangers properly for shit and everyone lowkey wants to kick his ass but he’s actually very friendly and outgoing even if he has no clue what he’s doing. keeps asking if bra sizes come in small, medium and large and everyone just tells him to shut up.

iwaizumi hajime: when picking a job he was like “well what am i good at?” and went from there. he ended up as the local pool’s weekend lifeguard because he had the qualifications and time. again, everyone his age just tries to hit on him and he’s annoyed because it distracts him from the actual purpose of his job. he takes it seriously and impresses his colleagues with his swimming talent and knowledge on first aid. iwaizumi lowkey scares the little kids and they’re kind of afraid to ask him for help so he’s been working on looking a little more friendly.

kuroo tetsurou: kuroo as a tennis instructor assistant or just something sporty other than volleyball because he’s a multi-talented king?? like he’s not a professional by any means but he helps out the youth club and gets along with kids a few years younger than him. fills in for refs at tournaments, makes sure equipment is safe to use and is SUPER good at cheering club goers up when they lose or fail or can’t seem to do it correctly. he often refers to his experiences as nekoma’s captain to relate to them and they really admire his resilience and ask him to tell them more stories!!

kenma kozume: had to be dragged out to do a part-time job. was absolutely against the thought of it until hinata mentioned a friend of his who’d moved to the prefecture near kenma got a job at this new game shop. he was like fine and applied. he just kinda sat and people asked him questions about the games but he refused to do any further socialisation or actual grunt work like shelving, he quit pretty soon after, he just wanted the money to buy a game he ended up purchasing on his way out lmaoo

bokuto koutarou: he was dead set on having a volleyball related job, fukurodani have a club for junior players from all over the city to come and practice together. he was like?!? “and nobody told me??” he’s perfect for it as the captain and ends up as a secondary coach. he shows off A LOT and like kuroo, encourages the kids when they’re down. except kuroo is a more sit down, hand on shoulder, casual talk kind of guy. bokuto gets ridiculously sentimental and tells them dramatically about his lowest memories as captain when fukurodani lost and the kids are genuinely as emotional because of he way he tells it??? idk but they love him and he’s a ball of passion that keeps them going.

akaashi keiji: we are talking pretty waiter at a local gormet restaurant that gets tipped SO MUCH for his true professionalism. knows how to handle every situation with ease and is super calm, doesn’t care at all if someone from his school is there. he’s really just chasing that bag and he’s doing it well. bokuto often picks him up after his shifts so they can do stuff together but akaashi requests it be something calming since he’s tired after work... bokuto is like,, “so no to rock-climbing? alright i’ll reschedule..” the other waiters lowkey HATE the fact he gets tipped so well and they try and figure out his secrets. he has none. he’s just good at his job. i could see kiyoko working a similar job or somewhere lowkey like a flourist or bakery. she’s equally as professional and admired.

ushijima wakatoshi: ANY JOB. give this man any job and he’ll be able to carry it out like he’s been doing it since he popped out the womb. often mistaken for a grown adult so he gets jobs pretty easily? very very professional and aims to do everything perfectly. i think he’d also prefer a vb related job just like bokuto but something that could really get him somewhere big, smth to do with olympics like a paid internship for them .. can you even intern for the olympics lmao?? maybe something for the japanese team. it’s a lot of work to balance school & intern life but he’s very comitted and knows it’ll benefit him in the future. (kageyama was fuming when he found out he could have done that instead of his current gig).

tendou satori: has a job he’s very under-qualified for but somehow pulls off. he’s chilling at the hospital or law firm three times a week after classes or somewhere ridiculous but he’s doing just fine!! doesn’t actually do professional work n helps with small things but it impresses the hell out of everybody he tells, has no interest in persuing those careers but it’s fun for him, he gets paid VERY well for a boy his age and his personality creates a nice, talkative atmosphere in these seemingly tense environments.

miya atsumu / osamu: they both work at a café for novelty because they’re these handsome, athletic twins and it’s a thing that brings people in. they do a lot of fan service stuff and osamu is EXCELLENT like he was made for this job but atsumu is awful at keeping his cool. osamu will be chatting up customers, trying to persuade them to order more and atsumu is having a heated tustle with the coffee machine that’s broken down for the third time that day and it really ruins the magic osamu is trying to create. atsumu has probably sworn loudly. has probably almost been fired. he’s bad at playing along and flirting because he literally just wants them to leave so he can sit down lmao. osamu uses the pastries in the café as inspiration for his own at-home baking fiascos because it’s a stress-reliving hobby.

terushima yuji: he’s that boy in shoe shops that tries to sell you sneakers and he knows literally everything about them even when you really didn’t ask... looking to hit on girls that come in because shoe knowledge is obviously very sexy! alternatively you might catch him in a tattoo shop or sumn real appearance based and he definitely remembers all the regulars and greets them like they’re close friends, we’re talking inside jokes. always seems to know what tattoo people are looking to get purely based on their appearance and initial impression...

the list of unemployed:

yachi: too scared to do ANY job that requires interaction, she’s plagued by it.

hoshiumi: fired for picking too many fights with customers.

kyotani: EVEN WORSE THAN HOSHIUMI though he was strangely very efficient at paperwork.

suna: quit on the first day because it wasn’t what he expected and he doesn’t care about money that much.

lev: his family are like.... rich?? n nobody really expected it but he’s like yeah i really do not need one of those lmao.

yamaguchi: broke things, spilt things, smashed things. he really was trying his best..

aone: intimidated customers too much so they let him go (he was just STANDING THERE.. he deserved better).

sakusa: local venues are filthy, ushijima got the internship spot, no other job interests him enough to persue.

[sevlgi]

when I miss you

requested: yes

group: mamamoo

pairing: wheein x fem!reader

genre: angst

contents: idol!au

warnings: none

synopsis: Wheein’s always on your mind, but it’s torture when you’re missing her.

a/n: read part 2 here!

word count: 2.2k

Almost every minute of every day, you think of Wheein.

It’s perfectly natural to think of your girlfriend all the time. She’s everywhere- a photocard of her is in your phone case, and she’s your lockscreen and wallpaper on your phone. To everyone else, it just looks like she’s your idol, but you’ve been hiding a relationship all this time.

Somehow, you’re still stuck in your honeymoon phase, even after going steady for almost 2 years.

It’s hard to date an idol, but Wheein makes so much time for you that you barely realize it. Recently, as you prepare to finally debut, you’ve been spending even less time together, which is why you’ve been thinking of her even more today.

You’re going over to your girlfriend’s apartment today, and you’ve been staring at the clock all day, pining for when practice will be over and you can kiss your girlfriend.

During dance practice, the heavy bass thumping through the studio sounds like Wheein Wheein Wheein, and you can’t help but imagine her reaction when you finally debut. To be honest, you can barely focus on the dance itself. 

“Y/N, pay attention, please,” your leader Heeyun sighs, a benevolent smile nonetheless gracing her face. “There’s barely 10 minutes left, let’s just finish practice.”

10 minutes? You perk up when you realize that Heeyun’s right, 9 minutes ticking away slowly on the clock. The steady thrum of Wheein Wheein Wheein low in your chest grows louder, and you whine, “Please, Heeyun-ah, we’ve worked so much today!”

Another one of your members chuckles, looking at you fondly. They all know about your relationship with Wheein, and they’re unbelievably supportive. “Y/N’s right, we can stop for today. Is Wheein unnie excited for our debut?”

Nodding, you scramble up to start pulling your sweatshirt over your head. “Unbelievably, she always tells me to practice hard, but I can tell it’s hard for her to not spend time with me.”

“Ew, just go,” echoes in the practice room, giggles bouncing off the walls. Slinging your bag over your shoulder, you wave a goodbye, Wheein Wheein Wheein still pounding in your heart.

Wheein’s apartment is barely 15 minutes away from your company when walking, which you’re very glad for. It isn’t rare for you to head to her apartment right after work instead of your dorm, though you try to give her space too.

You don’t even know what the two of you are planning to do, you’re just excited to spend any time you can with your girlfriend. All day, you’ve been thinking of what to say, what important details of your life to tell her and which ones to ask for.

You smile at the feeling of your fingers clasping around the cold metal of the spare key Wheein gave you, your initials etched into the metal, the familiar smile you give to the receptionist.

All of it has always been a comfortable constant in your life. You remember running through the halls with tears streaming down your face on the hard days, with a huge smile on the good ones.

The elevator ride to Wheein’s apartment is the same length as always, each of the 67 seconds punctuated by the thrum of Wheein Wheein Wheein. Your steps are timed perfectly with the beats of your heart, smile growing wider at the click of the door opening for you.

As always, the apartment smells like your girlfriend’s favorite perfume, a sort of sweet yet sharp smell. You’re surprised when Wheein doesn’t immediately pounce on you for a hug; in fact, she’s nowhere to be seen.

“Jagi?” you call out, closing the door behind you, eyes scanning the apartment. It’s not the first time your girlfriend has pranked you. “Where are you?”

The bedroom door swings open immediately, a tired-looking Wheein emerging. “Sorry, I didn’t hear you at first.”

“S’okay,” you grin, opening your arms for a hug and nestling your nose into her hair.

You’re surprised again when she pulls away quietly just a few moments later. It’s completely unlike your goofy, cuddly girlfriend, and you can only stare as she walks to the kitchen. “How was practice?”

“Um, good.” She’s obviously avoiding your eyes, studiously concentrating on the cup of tea she pours out. “Still on track for debut, anyway.”

“Good. You still have a few weeks, right?”

Wheein finally faces you, and you can only notice stress pulling her eyebrows together and darkening the circles under eyes. “Y-yeah,” you manage to say, your own forehead creasing as you step closer. “Jagi, are you okay?”

A beat of silence passes before she sighs, biting her lip. “Y/N, we need to talk.”

“Well that’s not good,” you joke, trying to alleviate the tension in the room. It doesn’t work; your girlfriend still looks stressed. “Okay, what do we need to talk about?”

A beat of silence passes before she looks up. “I think we should break up,” Wheein finally says.

You can only stare for a second, only managing to say, “Wh-what? Is this a prank? This is a prank, right?” She doesn’t look like she’s pranking you; every time in the past that she tried to pull a trick, she’s never been able to look as serious as she does now.

“Come on, we should sit.” Once you’re both situated on the couch, knees almost touching and facing each other, Wheein sets her tea down and starts to explain. “You’re debuting soon. Your group will be much bigger than mine, and you won’t be able to hide our relationship like I do.”

“No, I-”

She holds a hand up to stop you, continuing, “It’ll hurt your image, Y/N, for a rookie to already be dating. We’re not a normal relationship either, do you understand how terrible it is to be gay in Korea?”

You bite your lower lip, your mood significantly worse than before. Of course you understand the stigma about LGBT people, but you tried not to think about it much. “I… yeah, I do, but we can do it, we’ve already hidden it for so long.”

Wheein frowns, genuine sadness in her eyes. “You were a trainee, Y/N-ah. I don’t want to bring you down, so… so I think we need to break up.”

It feels like everything’s unraveling at those little words, your entire life coming to a halt. Just a few hours ago, you had everything you ever wanted, and it feels like it’s all just being taken away. “I…”

“We can still be friends,” she offers, hands over yours. “You know, we don’t have to cut off contact.”

“Yeah.” You feel numb, heavy, like you’re watching something you can’t control. “Um, I think we should reschedule this hangout. My members and I have more practice to do.”

She smiles, though her eyes don’t crease like they do when she’s really happy. “Sure. Call me sometime, okay?”

You both know you won’t.

For the first time, you hate the thrum of Wheein Wheein Wheein in your head, the pounding low in your stomach making you nauseous and irritable.

As always, she is the only thing you can think of, but now, you find yourself constantly trying (and failing) to push her out of your mind.

Your members stare at you with sympathetic looks in their eyes, expressions that you also fail at ignoring. Luckily, you haven’t seen any of Wheein’s members since the incident; they probably look even more saddened. 

Of course, your good luck doesn’t last. You’re collapsed on the dance floor, sweaty and tired, your members chattering quietly, when all of a sudden they go quiet. When you lift your head, you scowl at the sight of Yongsun.

“Hi, everyone.” The cheery note in her voice sounds false, but maybe your mind is just twisting everything. “I brought you desserts!”

“Yongsun unnie, you’re too sweet,” everyone else choruses. When you don’t move to get up for the snacks, the blonde approaches you herself.

She makes an attempt at a smile. “Hey, Y/N. Listen, I can’t stay long, Wheein’s waiting for me outside, but… I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“For what?” The words seem to bite at Yongsun; even you have to admit that they’re far sharper than they had to be. “It’s not like you had anything to do with it.”

“Please don’t hate Wheein for this,” she sighs, dropping to the floor next to you. “It’s not her fault, it’s mine. Byul and I, we were the ones who told her that it’d be difficult to hide your relationship once you debuted.”

Your eyes narrow, but you shake your head. “Doesn’t matter. She chose to go through with it. I don’t hate her, Yongsun unnie, but I can’t forgive her either.”

A beat of silence passes before Yongsun stands. “Okay. I understand, but will you talk to her? She… she misses you.”

I miss her too. “I don’t miss her.” The lie tastes bitter on your tongue, but you know it’s what’s right. You need to move on, and you can’t do that if you’re still hung up on Wheein. “You can tell her that.”

The look in Yongsun’s eyes is nothing less than heartbroken as she purses her lips in a smile and bows lightly to you, then your members. “I gotta head out, everyone,” she calls out. “Good luck on your stage, we’ll be watching!”

You don’t join the chorus of ‘thank you’, your throat seemingly clogged when you see Wheein’s face through the glass of the dance studio. 

Wheein Wheein Wheein.

Your breath shakes when you exhale backstage. Heeyun sings scales to warm up beside you, and Soonja mumbles her rap; others rehearse the points of the dance, even more touching up their makeup.

At the moment, you can see Wheein talking to the camera, MC’ing like her life depends on it. She doesn’t look nearly as wrecked as you feel, her dimples as pretty as ever and her eyes smiling. 

It’s totally unfair.

Of course you should be more nervous for your debut stage, but it’s difficult when your entire mind is fixated on one person. Wheein Wheein Wheein thrums in your chest in time with the pounding bass of someone’s performance; your hands clutch at your sternum as if they can quiet the noise.

They can’t.

“And the winners… QSR!”

The crowd’s cheers are deafening, but the smile on your face feels like it’s plastered on. You can vaguely hear the cries and laughter of your members around you, but your fingers are numb when the clutch onto your trophy.

More importantly, your eyes are fixated on Wheein, who stands a good 5 feet away from you as she claps. She’s steadily avoiding your eyes, waving and smiling at the crowd, but she approaches you with a bouquet of flowers. “Congratulations,” she murmurs, barely loud enough for you to hear.

“Thanks, sunbaenim.”

The formal term seems to hurt Wheein physically, but she recovers quickly. “I look forward to your success.”

With a bow, she retreats to go and congratulate your other members. To be honest, it pains you when she hugs Heeyun with a huge smile that you know would have been yours too. 

You can’t focus even during the encore, and there’s no emotion when you sing your lines. Wheein Wheein Wheein feels more like steady stabs at your stomach tonight.

Over time, the pain dulls. It gets easier to see Wheein, which is good because you see her too often for your own liking. Your members offer to stop hanging out with Mamamoo, but you insist that you’re fine.

You’re not.

It’s not like you’re recovered; no, the pain of Wheein Wheein Wheein just feels more like a dull punch than a stab now. You’re no longer hurting, but you’re like an empty shell.

Your new fans assume that you’re just a quiet person, but you’re not. On the internet, they wonder why your members seem so close with everyone in Mamamoo and you won’t give them a passing glance.

But there’s no way you can explain to them how numb you feel to everything; even when your first MV hits 500 million views, you can barely smile in the celebratory Vlive. Even when your group earns your own lightstick, when you’re declared the rookie of the year, you feel nothing.

And you hate that so much of your group’s fame comes from articles wondering why you seem to have no emotions. You hate that your bond with everyone is destroyed, that your friendships are ruined because of you.

Most of all, you hate that you’re still not over her. You hate that the thump of your heartbeat still sounds like Wheein Wheein Wheein, and you hate that you still think of her.

You hate that she seems fully over it, happy and smiling like she didn’t break your heart. You hate that you still keep the key to her apartment on your dresser.

You hate that you still miss her.

[thejilyship]

It’s just Coffee

Lily is partnered with James for an Econ project that he seems unwilling to make time for. When he shows up forty minutes late to her flat, she finds out why.

single parent, college, modern, muggle au

ff.net | ao3

Lily Evans to James Potter: You’re late. Again.

James: I know, and I’m very sorry, but it was unavoidable

Lily: Of course it was.  

James: I’ll be there in ten minutes.

Lily: If you’re any later than that, I’m going to lock the door and not let you in.

James: Completely fair! See you in a few

James: Also, I have to bring someone with me, hope that’s alright!

Lily: I s2g, it better not be Sirius

James: it’s not Sirius, he’s on a date and he’s a git and I’m never speaking to him again

James: I’ll be there soon

 Lily put her phone down and frowned. She tapped her pencil against her textbook and looked up at the clock. He’d said that he’d meet with her at six so they could finish this stupid group project that they’d been partnered by their professor to do.

James was not the person that Lily would have chosen to be her partner. Not only was it now six thirty, and he hadn’t even texted to let her know that he was running late, but he’d been late to their last meet up as well. He hadn’t even wanted to meet up the last time. He’d tried to convince her that they could just finish their project after class, even though Lily had another class to get to just thirty minutes after.

But it was fine.

She took a deep breath through her nose and then slowly let it out. This was the last time that they’d have to meet up, and then she could go back to hating this class solely for the damned TA’s unjust disdain for her and the boring source material.

She looked over what she and James had scrapped together so far, and what she’d added for the both of them since she’d been sitting here for almost forty minutes now. It was a short presentation about economic principals. The work was tedious and monotonous, she’d almost offered to just put the entire thing together on her own multiple times just because he was always acting like he had something better to do and she was annoyed with him.

But she couldn’t in good conscious, let someone else take a grade that she worked for, whether it had been difficult to get or not.

She had almost been looking forward to working with James when they were first partnered. He was cute, and he was funny, and he usually sat next to her and there had definitely been some flirting. She knew very little about him. He was a football player, he had amazing hair that he was constantly playing with, his eyes were dangerously mesmerizing, and he was late for class almost every day.

It was six thirty-nine when there was a knock on her door.

Lily felt both annoyed that he’d taken nine of the ten minutes, and a bit guilty for giving him such a hard time. People were busy, sometimes time got away from them.

But as she walked to the door, she got annoyed again because showing up forty minutes late said a lot about how little you thought of the person whose time you were wasting. Her time was valuable too, even if she wasn’t a student athlete. She could have been working on her orgo homework instead of messing around with the font sizes and wording on their presentation while she waited for him.

“I’m sorry,” James said as he walked into her flat. He always walked in like a storm. His hair was wild, his limbs moving with direction and purpose, his eyes flashing. Lily stepped back, giving him a wide girth.

Unlike every other time she’d seen him storm into a room, today, he was carrying a car seat.

“Sirius was supposed to watch Harry for me so that we could finish this project, and then he ‘forgot’ to tell me that he had a date until after I was already supposed to be here. I tried texting Remus, but he’s got his calc lab tonight and Peter’s working in the library- also I didn’t want to be this late, so I didn’t really reach out further than that.” He was talking a mile a minute, but Lily could hardly register what he was saying, she just stared at the round little face in the carrier.

“You have a baby?” She asked, and then she was crouching down so that she could get a better look. “Harry,” She reached out and took his little foot between her thumb and pointer.

“Yeah, Harry. He’s eight months old.” Lily looked up to find James’ hand in his hair. “He’ll probably fall asleep in a bit, so finishing our project shouldn’t be a problem.” He looked at the watch on his wrist and then pushed his glasses up to rub at one of his eyes.

“James, you could have just told me that tonight didn’t work for you.” Lily said, feeling guilty again. He should have communicated better, but he looked a frazzled. “If you need to take him home and put him to bed- I don’t want this stupid project to ruin his night.”

“What?” James’ glasses fell back onto his nose as he looked down at her. “No, he sleeps like a rock, so he’ll be fine. I just left his bag down in the car.” He made to lift the car seat again and Lily shook her head.

“You can leave him with me if you want. I live on the third floor of a building with no elevator. Unless you’re trying to impress someone, it’s insane to carry this thing up and down again.” She gestured to the car seat and he looked as though he was debating something. Lily almost started listing out the reasons she was qualified to be left alone with an infant.

“You’re sure?” James asked before she could tell him that she was CPR certified.  

“Of course.” Lily was sitting cross legged in front of the car seat now, smiling at Harry who was smiling right back at her. She’d already forgotten about econ.

James watched her and Harry for a moment longer and then rushed out the door.

“Well isn’t this a surprise,” Lily said, speaking with Harry as though he was an old acquaintance and not an eight-month-old. “I don’t know why your daddy thought I wouldn’t understand that he needed a bit of leeway here. I thought he just wanted to hang out with his friends or play with his hair, but he was probably with you, yes? And who wouldn’t want to be with you,” She wiggled his foot again and Harry laughed. Lily fought the urge to take the infant out of its car seat and hug him to her chest. “Why are you so cute?” She shook her head and Harry laughed again.

It didn’t take James long to run back up with Harry’s diaper bag.

“I just need a third arm and then this will be easier.” He said, closing her door behind him and setting Harry’s bag next to his own.

“I’m sure your coach doesn’t mind all the extra stairs you just had to scale.” Lily grinned, though she was still looking at Harry. “He’s like a perfect clone. Except for the eyes.”

James crouched down next to her. “You been paying attention to my eyes, Evans?”

“No, I’ve simply noticed that they’re not this brilliant shade of green.” Lily said coolly, turning to give him a look. “Green eyes aren’t nearly as common as people think. So for those of us with green eyes…”

“Sure.” James nodded, “Pretend like you don’t know what color my eyes are.” They were still looking at each other and Harry laughed again, kicking his feet. “Alright, alright, I’ll get you out of there.”

Soon, the three of them were at the table, and James was paying much more attention to their econ assignment than Lily was. But Harry was eating cheerios and kept getting them stuck to his chin and Lily couldn’t be blamed for being distracted.

“Do you want to hold him?” James asked after Lily had leaned across the table to help Harry find the cheerio that was stuck to the tip of his nose.

Lily bit the tip of her tongue and nodded. “I wasn’t sure if it was okay to ask.”

James laughed and held Harry out to her across the table. Lily held out her arms, making sure that Harry wanted to come and sit with her before she took him. He reached out to her happily, grabbing a fist full of her hair almost immediately.

“I like her hair too, Harry,” James laughed, picking up a pencil now that his hands were free, and adding a few things to their notes.

“Are you using your child to flirt with me?”

“No,” James looked back up at her, the corner of his mouth tugging upward. “I was flirting with you when he wasn’t here. I’m just continuing to flirt with you now that he’s here. I’m being consistent.”

“Ah,” Lily nodded as she gently pulled her hair from Harry’s grip. She tossed it up into a quick plait to prevent it from happening again and then looked over at James again. “I’m sorry I’m not helping.”

James laughed and shook his head. “I noticed that you added to it before I got here. And I brought the distraction. No need to apologize.”

“You did bring the distraction,” Lily agreed, letting Harry stand up on her lap. He started bouncing happily and Lily started singing nonsense that made him laugh some more. “I’m either hilarious, or you’re delirious.” Harry was still laughing, and Lily shook her head. “Delirious then.”

“He normally goes to bed about now.” James nodded, looking at his watch again. It was seven thirty and Lily didn’t feel like they’d been in her flat for almost an hour. She pressed her lips together for a moment and then nodded.

“There’s no reason we can’t finish up the rest of this online. We’ve already got the outline for the rest of the project done.”

“You’re sure you wouldn’t mind finishing it up that way?” James asked, and it was obvious that he would prefer to take his baby home before he fell asleep, so Lily nodded, even though she was not sure that she wanted to let Harry, or his father, go just yet.

“I don’t mind at all. I told you that I didn’t want to mess with his sleep.”

“Thanks,” His shoulders relaxed, and he started packing up his bag.

“And James,” Lily nabbed his attention. “Next time you can just tell me that you need to reschedule.”

“Oh? Are you going to pretend that you haven’t been very annoyed with my being late all the time?”

“No,” Lily shook her head. “Though I can be more understanding now that I know you’re not blowing off econ just for fun.”

“Right,” James nodded. “It’s not… I mean, it can be a little awkward telling people that I have a kid. And I don’t want to use him as an excuse- unless my mates are trying to get me to go out and get shitfaced on a Tuesday.” He ran a hand through his hair and shrugged. “And then sometimes I go too long without telling someone that Harry is around, and then it’s awkward when they find out. I’m still trying to work out how to handle it all.”

“Completely unacceptable.” Lily deadpanned. James laughed.

“Right, well, thank you for being understanding and for not getting upset that I had to bring him with me.”

Lily narrowed her brow. “Who would get upset?”

James shrugged. “People have all kinds of weird reactions when you ask them to be accommodating.” James stood up and so Lily did too, sliding Harry deftly to her hip as they made their way toward the door.

“I suppose that’s true. But if you want to bring him to any future projects we have to do, I’ll do my best not to be annoyed.”

James snorted, “Right. You look very annoyed right now.” He put Harry’s snacks back into his pack and then held out his hands to take Harry back.

Lily gave Harry a hug first and then handed him back. “I’m only a little annoyed.”

“So, you like kids, do you?”

“What gave me away?”

James laughed and Lily grinned.

And then Harry was all strapped in and James was carrying everything he had brought with him. “Alright, well then, I’ll text you when he’s down so we can finish up our project. See in class?”

Lily nodded. “Sounds good,” She waved at Harry. “Hope to see you around too, little one.” Harry laughed at her again, but this time it was immediately followed by a big yawn. “I feel you,” She nodded.

She opened the door for James and waved again, this time at him. “See you later.”

 As Lily has thought, their project required no further face to face meetings, which she no longer thought was a relief. Now that she knew James wasn’t some inconsiderate ass who thought it was fine to show up thirty or forty minutes late, she found that she liked more than just his hair or his eyes.

James had texted her after he’d gotten Harry to sleep, only they hadn’t stopped texting after they had finished their project.

And then they never really stopped texting.

And the flirting in class came back tenfold.

She was sitting on the couch, her feet propped up on the arm, her head resting on Mary’s lap, and her phone glued in front of her face when Mary tugged on her hair.

“You texting that econ boy again?” She asked.

“You know that I am.”

“I do know that. I was starting a conversation though, and I wasn’t just going to jump right into the middle, was I?”

“You’ve been known to do worse.” Lily set the phone down on her chest and looked up at her friend.

“Have you even seen him outside of class yet?” Mary asked, still looking at her own phone.

“No, but I didn’t even like him until-“

“Until he showed you his baby.” Mary sighed and looked down at her. “Babies are like crack to you.”

“I don’t like him because he has a baby.” Lily said. “I forgave him for being late so often because he has a baby. I liked him before though.”

“You mentioned his hair a couple times,” Mary nodded. “But I wasn’t really trying to give you a hard time for your weird fascination with small humans.”

“It’s not weird to like kids, Mary. You like kids.”

“Sure, and do I wish that I had been home while there had been a baby right here? Where I am every day? Yes, but I was just trying to tease you, let it go so we can get to the point.”

“If you started conversations with your point-“

“Are you going to ask this bloke out?”

Lily pressed her lips together. “Am I allowed to ask him out?”

“Do you want to?”

“I… want him to ask me out.” Mary whacked her on the arm and Lily cried out. “Only so I know that it’s okay! I’ve asked blokes out before, I’m not scared!”

“You are totally a scardy-cat, but have you considered that maybe he doesn’t think it’s okay to ask you out?”

“He said that he was still trying to figure things out with Harry.” Lily said, twirling a piece of her hair around her finger.

“So the two of you are just going to keep obnoxiously texting one another to no end?” Mary asked. “And look, if that is the reason that he says no to a date, will it crush you? Will you be unable to go on?”

Lily pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest. “No.”

“Well then…”

“Alright. Alright I get your point.”

Mary narrowed her brow and stayed quiet.

“What?”

“Well go ahead and ask him out.”

“I can’t do it now! We’re talking about how The Voice was a better show before they made all the rule changes.”

“I don’t know why you’re hung up on that-“

“They need to get Adam back, that’s why.”

“Ask out your boy, Evans. Or else.”

“I don’t like it when you say that. I never know what it means.”

“You’re not supposed to.”

“You filled my entire pillowcase with shaving cream once.”

“Well, you’re the one that didn’t listen to me, so who’s fault was that?”

Lily shook her head and narrowed her eyes. “Definitely yours.”

“You’re stalling.” Mary grabbed Lily’s wrist and moved her arm so that Lily’s phone was in front of her face again. “Ask him out. Ask him to dinner here, or for coffee or something else lowkey.”

“You think asking him to dinner here, where I’d cook for him, is lowkey?” Lily’s brow went up. “Remind me to help you out if you ever think about asking someone out.”

“I didn’t say you had to cook for him- you could order in- oh shut up and text him.”

Lily huffed and then clicked on her phone again.

James: Last season was weird anyway just because everyone knew Maelin was going to win from the beginning

Lily: Yes, so I’m going to change the subject now

James: Thank you for the warning lol

Lily: right

Lily: I know that you’re really busy, but I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime. Coffee maybe?

As soon as she hit send, she shoved her phone into the couch cushions.

“You did it already?” Mary asked, surprised.

“You told me to!” Lily pushed herself up and spun around toward Mary.

“What did he say?”

“I don’t know, I turned off my screen.”

“Well you gotta look!”

“I know that!” Lily pulled her knees up to her chest. “He’s going to say no. He’s going to tell me that he doesn’t have time.”

“You don’t know that.” Mary said. “He might say ‘yes.’”

“He might say ‘yes.’” Lily agreed and then dug her phone out of the cushions.

James: You asking me out, Evans?

“He didn’t even answer yet, he just wants to know if I’m asking him out.” Lily’s heart was in her throat.

“Well then clarify! I should have proofread your text.”

“I asked him if he wanted to go out sometime. That’s pretty clear!”

Lily: Of course, I’m asking you out.

“Is saying ‘of course’ a bit aggressive? It’s too late if you’re going to say yes because I’ve already sent the message.”

“No, it’s cute.” Lily looked at Mary. “Sort of aggressive, but in a cute way. Maybe.”

James: Right, of course you are. Why wouldn’t you?

James: I’d love to go out with you

“He said yes!”

“Okay, play it cool!” Mary was on her knees next to her now.

Lily: Love? Relax. I asked you to coffee

“That’s a bit too cool,” Mary laughed. Lily shoved her.

“Don’t read over my shoulder.”

“I’ll do what I want!” But she sat back down.

Lily bit her tongue and settled back against the couch. She really liked this bloke.

James: It’s your enthusiasm that’s bolstering me thanks

James: You free before class on Thursday?

Lily: I am.

James: You were

James: Meet you at one?

Lily: So I should show up at one thirty then?

James: I can be on time occasionally

Lily: Proof?

James: I can tell that you really do like me

James: I’m so excited for you to tease me in person

Lily: teasing is 90% of how I flirt so

Lily: I hope you don’t mind.

James: Nah, I don’t.

[punkpoemprose]

December 6th- Fuck 2020

Universe: Modern AU Rating: M (Mature, a little explicit, this is porn without plot for the most part) Length: 4383 Words A/N: The title says it all. This fic is about Kristoff and Anna having sex on New Years Eve. TW: Mentions of COVID-19, quarantine, and generally the shittyness of this year. This is the last of my decades AUs. Hopefully someday someone will write something more flattering for the 2020′s.

Anna closed her laptop and collapsed back onto the couch. She was exhausted mentally and emotionally, but her body wasn’t tired enough to let her sleep. It had been what she’d been suffering with all year, or at least since March when the world had gone from its usual level of chaos to being utter and total bedlam. She still remembered the day she’d learned that her kids wouldn’t be coming back to the classroom, and the only slightly more terrifying day where she learned that they would, in fact be coming back.

Her head was still awash with words she’d never thought she’d need to say to a room full of five-year-olds. We have to keep our masks on. Remember, six feet apart guys, that’s like two big dogs in a line. No, I’m sorry, I can’t give you a hug. She’d had to separate desks, and clean and not wipe away little tears like she normally would when a child was having a bad day.

The kids, she thought, had held up better than she had. They’d listened as well as they could, they’d followed the rules as much as they were able, and they were kind about the policies in a way that even grown adults were not. But even with all the work they’d done, even with all the kids doing their best, the second wave had hit, and now they wouldn’t be returning to school until after the middle of January, and then when it finally came about, it would be online. There was talk of vaccines in the news, and while it gave her some small spark of hope, all the changes have meant turning her holiday break into lots of online classroom prep.

It still wasn’t the worst though, she’d rather be tired than sick, and she couldn’t help but relax a bit and listen to the shower running in the next room over.

Kristoff had been given the afternoon shift for New Year’s Eve, and as per their new normal, he’d stripped down at the door after returning to their apartment, tossed all his things into the wash, and was currently showering. In the beginning, before they’d known just how bad things were, before PPE was supplied to every EMT in the county, he’d caught it.

Anna had remembered the pain of having to see him so ill, watching him suffer through what was determined to be a “mild” case of the virus while he was sequestered to their bedroom and she spent the week sleeping on the couch and barely seeing him at all except to occasionally bring him something to eat when he’d felt particularly weak. There was something particularly terrifying in watching the strongest person Anna knew, her rock, her one and only, barely able to take care of himself. He’d insisted the whole time, vehemently, that she leave to stay with her sister on the other side of town, be she’d been unable to bring herself to do it. She couldn’t and wouldn’t leave him alone when he was so sick she wasn’t sure if he’d make it through.

But, of course, he had. His voice had been strange and unlike him for weeks after he was cleared, and Anna had spent many nights in a cold sweat thinking about just how close he’d been to being in much worse shape. They’d started their procedure then, come in the door, take off your clothes, wash anything that went into work with you, and then shower. She’d done it too, but to less of an extreme because while she’d been around kids who had potentially been sick, he spent every day with Sven facing the positively ill together and trying their best to keep them well enough to get to the hospital.

The mental strain it was putting on them, Anna having to worry everyday about him getting sick again, or one of her students or even herself catching it was a lot. But Kristoff, kind and wonderful man that he was, kept checking in at the hospital to learn whether the transports he and Sven had brought in had made it. She saw the darkness in his eye, behind his attempts at levity, on the days where they lost someone.

The water shut off, and Anna let herself imagine him behind the door, stepping out of the shower, putting his towel on, walking over to the mirror to shave and comb his wet hair. He’d started keeping it shorter than usual as a precaution, and while he always looked handsome, Anna missed the days where she’d been able to put short braids into his hair and then comb them out with her fingers. She missed the days where he’d come home, flop onto the couch and that would be the end of things until one of them made dinner.

“Hey,” he said, as she heard the bathroom door open and shut, “Are you asleep or?”

She opened her eyes and tipped her head, looking at him from across the room. He was dressed in sweats and a t-shirt, nothing fancy because of course, despite it being New Year’s Eve, they weren’t going out anywhere. She was dressed similarly, but overtop her plain shirt, she’d thrown on her nicest cardigan, creating the illusion for the videos she’d pre-recorded, that she wasn’t on her couch in her pajamas, but instead was dressed in full teacher gear and was to be listen to closely.

“I don’t think I can do an early bedtime tonight,” she said, “Or even a nap. I have to be awake to see this year end.”

He laughed, but it wasn’t so much the sort of laugh he did when he thought she was being funny. It was much more of a chuckle, as if he were going to follow it with an expression of agreement. They both were rather done with the year, just like everyone else they knew. No one wanted to be living through a pandemic.

“Just imagine,” he said, “Maybe next year we’ll actually be able to go on a date or something.”

“Or,” Anna replied sadly, “Actually be able to reschedule our wedding.”

They’d planned a June wedding the year before. It was going to be a small affair. Just his family, Elsa, and some friends from work. They were going to have it at a ski-lodge in the mountains that also doubled as a summertime spa and nature retreat so that it would be like a vacation for everyone who attended. She could still imagine the way that they’d wanted to decorate the place, all sunflowers and mason jars and white ribbons. She had bought a dress and everything, and it was still stored in her sister’s bedroom closet.

They’d pushed it to August, but had given up on it past that, knowing as soon as September hit and she returned to school with in person students, that nothing would be changing anytime soon. Even her hope for the next year was a tentative thing, like a butterfly with a broken wing trying its damnedest to fly.

“Fuck 2020,” she said quietly, noticing the way he frowned at the mention of their cancelled wedding. He’d been looking forward to it as well, and she knew that this year had been just as upsetting for him as it had been for her. She tried not to swear very often, particularly because she was worried about being able to censor herself around the kids, but ultimately, the year deserved a middle finger and some very strong language.

He crossed the space and took her laptop from where it rested on her stomach, placing it carefully on the coffee table before he scooped her too, up and off the couch. He never had much trouble lifting her, but each time he did so unexpectedly, she was half afraid of falling. She flailed for a half a second in his arms, gasping at the change in height as it occurred.

“I’d like that,” he said with a grin, “The wedding. I know it’s just a formality, and that we’ve agreed not to do it at a courthouse or anything, but I’m so ready to call you Mrs. Bjorgman.”

“And have my students confused?” she teased, “Maybe you should be Mr. Arendelle.”

He laughed at that, but the shrugged and started walking in the direction of their bedroom, holding her bridal style as if it were already all over and done with.

“Why are we heading to bed?” she asked, only allowing herself a little hopefulness beyond her confusion. She knew why she’d like to be heading to bed, but maybe, she reasoned, he was just tired and wanted some company for a nap.

“You said, ‘fuck 2020’.”

She could see the cheeky smile on his face as he glanced down at her, still heading toward the bedroom, like a man on a mission.

“It sounded like a good idea to me.”

***

“So,” Anna said from her place below him on their bed, “In this analogy am I 2020 or?”

Kristoff laughed, and she was treated with a kiss on her knuckles as she obediently raised her arms up for him to remove her shirt. His laugh was one of the things that got her through the day, knowing that he could find humor in any situation, that she could make him laugh, was a blessing. It made things feel normal, and it was a joy for them both that they sorely needed.

“No. It’s more like we fuck each other, and we get a little extra enjoyment out of the year ending. Honestly, I didn’t think it through very much, I just wanted you and it seemed like a good excuse.”

That made her laugh, and she nodded appreciatively at the sentiment. She didn’t think that they needed to really contemplate it much as she was just happy with the opportunity to enjoy her fiancé for a little while.

“It’s a good way to pass the time until midnight,” she offered once she was free of her shirt, “I’m sure we’ll manage to keep each other awake.”

Her hands went up his shirt in return, letting her fingers travel over his the soft but muscled planes of his torso until he too removed his shirt, giving her better access to touch him as she leaned up to allow him to undo her bra’s clasps.

“It’s what? Seven?” He asked, tossing her bra in a rapidly growing pile of their clothes, “I can’t promise five hours straight, but I’ll do my best.”

His hands went up her sides, his thumbs rubbing appreciatively at the dips of her waist and across her ribs until they came up to he breasts. He cupped them gently first, and her hands moved to tracing up and down in spine in return as they found a comfortable position where she was somewhat seated in his lap, facing him. He pinched a nipple and she treated him to an appreciative moan and dragged her nails, lightly down his back.

They hadn’t had much time for intimacy as of late. Between what they both experienced at work and the stress of the holidays, even from a socially distanced standpoint, they’d mostly been using their bed for sleeping. It felt good for it to be put to better use.

“Of course, we’ll need to take a break for dinner. Maybe you’ll need a second shower with some company. I’m sure we’ll figure it out.”

The appreciative almost growl he made as he ducked his head down to her neck went straight through her spine and made her want to peel the rest of their clothes off and get down to business immediately. Shared shower or not, she already knew that she’d need to change her panties. If, of course, he was planning on letting her put any on before the next morning.

He squeezed and kneaded her breasts while his lips kissed down her neck and she allowed herself to surrender to his touch. Everything around her was Kristoff, his hands and mouth on her, the smell of his shampoo all she could smell as she tilted her neck to give him better access and shifted a hand up to his still wet hair. Despite him being fresh from the shower and in the cooler air of their bedroom, he was hot to the touch, exactly what she wanted as her hair stood on end from the temperature and his touch.

He moved lower then, his head ducking down to lave attention on her nipples as one arm wrapped around her back to support her leaning away and the other moved down, down, across her lower stomach and to the place where her waistband still sat.

“Off?” she asked, the word all she could form as she gave herself over to the sensation of his mouth sucking and nipping at her.

“Not yet,” he replied, barely moving his mouth from her as he answered and switched sides, leaving her wet nipple to pebble against the cold.

His fingers slid a bit lower still, under the waistband of her pants, but not into her underwear as he dipped her even lower.

His arm was strong at her back, keeping her aloft and exactly where he wanted her, even as she squirmed and bucked her hips against the hand that was moving closer and closer to her clit. She knew exactly what he was doing, but it didn’t keep her from jumping when his fingers grazed her through the fabric. He knew that she was sensitive, that he needed to work her up to his direct touch, let alone anything more. They’d had their fair share of quickies of course, but when he wanted things to last, when he wanted to see her come again and again, he worked her up first.

Anna moaned, and arched in his arms, not so much from the sensation, but from the promise it offered. He really was going to try to make this last all night long.

“What did I do to deserve you?”

“I ask myself the same question.”

She gasped as he slowly stroked his fingers up and down her, no doubt feeling how wet she was through her panties but not commenting on it. Instead, using his mouth to once again kiss down her body, moving from the valley between her breasts lower and lower, tipping her back onto the bed as he went.

Not to be outdone, Anna reached up to him as she was leaned back, letting her hands travel down and over his back, reaching for his rear and giving it a squeeze. He laughed against her skin, and she felt rather satisfied by the sound as he picked up the pace on her clit and kissed her navel. Her hands slipped forward then, moving across the waistline of his sweatpants, and dipping her fingers below them as he had.

It was a bit of an awkward angle, but she did her best to wrap her hand around him. It was a challenge, but it was worthwhile to hear his breathing quicken when she managed to slide her hand up and down over his already hard cock through the fabric of his boxers. She recalled the first time they had done this, what felt like many years before, but was just a little over a year and a half ago. She remembered touching him for the first time and being scared that she wouldn’t be able to take him. The thought would have made her laugh now, if it weren’t for the fact that his attention on her clit was making her gasp instead.

When his lips had kissed as low as possible in their current position, he sat up a bit and slipped his hand from her pants. He offered her a questioning look, as he always did, and Anna stroked him again in response, sliding her hand up and down his length and rotating her wrist a bit as she did so, knowing that it was what he liked.

“Off?”

“Off,” she replied, finalizing the unspoken agreement in words before adding, “You too.”

He nodded and she rubbed her thumb against his head before she too extracted her hand, giving him a small taste of what was to come. She fully intended to take him into her mouth if he would let her. It had been too long since she’d seen him fall apart like that, staring down at her with dark eyes and strong muscles trembling under the weight of his climax.

Maybe, she thought, she might even do it while he was laying down, so she could feel him under her and enjoy the building of tension in his body that always came before the release that left him panting and melting beneath her. She loved that he let her give him pleasure. There was so much he did everyday for her, all the care to not get her ill, the many nights he cooked dinner after a long shift, how he always listened to her stresses before offering up his own, and she liked to return his kindnesses in the bedroom.

He pushed himself up and off of her, pulling his pants down with one hand, using the other in a delightful display of his strength to hold himself aloft. He kicked them off a bit creatively, one leg at a time as if he were doing some kind of strange yoga, but never removing his eyes from her as he watched her buck her hips up and slide her own bottoms off.

He tossed them both somewhere to join their pile, and they were left, staring into each other’s eyes wearing nothing but their underwear.

She shivered a bit, both from the intensity if his gaze and the cool air around her. He noticed, his gaze softening as he lowered himself to her a bit and pressed a kiss to her lips. She responded by tipping her head up a bit, deepening the kiss as her arms raised up to wrap around his back and pull him down onto her.

“I’ll have to see if I can warm you up,” he said, their temperature differences more evident as his chest pressed into hers.

He was making a valiant effort, despite her pulling him down, to not crush her under his weight. There had been occasions where he’d allowed his whole weight to press down onto her, and while she didn’t exactly consider him light by any instance of the word, he wasn’t ever going to crush her quite so much as he made an excellent weighted blanket when he wanted to be.

His tone was lascivious though. There was no doubt in Anna’s mind as his hips rocked gently into hers that his plan for warming her up included more of the touching he’d just been doing moments before. When he kissed her again and let his lips trail, once more down her body, lower and lower, she knew that there would be nothing so simple as a blanket in his plans to warm her.

When he reached the waistband of her panties he didn’t stop, instead mouthing at her through the fabric, causing her to call his name and tangle her fingers into his hair. She felt his breath on her, hot, the inhalations and exhalations adding to the sensation as his lips nipped carefully at her clit. He slid down after a few moments, pressing kisses to her labia and center through the fabric, nudging her bud with his nose.

He could be devious with his mouth, a fact that she took immense pleasure in. He could kiss her mouth and pussy with equal skill, and she knew it came from a combination of natural talent, and plenty of practice with her and only her. His mouth could bring her to heights she’d never been able to reach alone, and the anticipation of him doing so had her trembling.

“Do you want me to?” he asked, glancing up at her from between her legs, seeking permission as he always did.

“Yes. Always.”

It was all he needed, flashing her a smile as he hooked his thumb under her waistband and pulled.

She lifted her hips obediently and was rewarded with an appreciative squeeze on her rear as he tugged the fabric off her. When it got to her knees, he leaned back and she set her bottom back onto her bed, watching him whip the fabric off her legs and onto the floor.

She would not be looking for them, she decided ultimately, until laundry day.

He spread her legs a bit more and rearranged them both on the bed until she had two pillows under her rear, elevating her, and he was half kneeling before her.

Once the matter of fabric and positioning was settled, he set upon her like a man starved. Evidently the foreplay had been enough for him, and she already felt it was enough for her, when he kissed her clit again, and then set to running his tongue over her. He went from the bottom of her slit, tasting her and groaning in appreciation, up to her clit, his tongue teasing at her before flattening against her, moving down, and repeating the process.

Her hands, desperate to show him the same appreciation he was showering her with, reached out as far as they could to rub just her fingertips, less artfully, but no less effectively, against the bulge straining against his boxers. His groans only added to the sensation as he tasted her, the rumbling of it tangible as he licked and took her into his mouth. The sound mingled in the air with her own moans, and soon, she stopped being able to tell who was making which sounds.

His tongue darted between her folds and she rocked her hips into his mouth. He rocked just far enough back that she could no longer touch him, and as such, her hands held onto him in other ways, one hand wandering across his shoulders while the other tugged at his hair.

He added his fingers to the business after a short while, taking only a moment away from her to watch her face as he slipped his fingers along her entrance, coating them in her before he, with trained dexterity, slid them inside her and began the search for the place on her inner walls he knew set her closest to the edge.

He got a satisfied look on his face when her moans grew louder, when she pleaded with him and thanked him for the new sensation, and it was a grin that she saw last before his face descended, again, to mouth at her clit with new fervor.

It was only a matter of time before she fell back against the bed, pillows falling from under her rear as she went stiff, then limp, under the force of her orgasm.

She tasted herself on his lips when he kissed her.

***

“Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!”

Anna had been somewhat surprised that they made it to midnight, both of them thoroughly spent with the amount of time and energy they’d put into their private celebration. She wasn’t counting down with the people on the television though, she couldn’t even see them as she knelt before the couch, feeling Kristoff’s tensed legs at either side of her. She couldn’t count anyway, she had her mouth full.

She’d wanted to manage to get him to come right at midnight, thinking about how funny and gratifying it would be to ensure that her fiancé, the man she loved most in the world, started the new year out right. She supposed though, as she bobbed her head up and down, her tongue running up and down his length as she breathed through her nose, that he wouldn’t mind if it was just a minute or so late.

“Anna,” he groaned, his hand on the back of her head, not pushing but encouraging her to maintain her speed, “Baby I think I’m going to…”

She hummed, keeping up her speed, flattening her tongue against him and doing her damnedest to give him the same pleasure he’d given her earlier in the day. They’d done plenty in the hours between, but this was the first time for the day, and now for the new year that she’d pleasured him with her mouth.

She hoped that the sounds she was making were encouraging as his hips rocked almost imperceptibly, his hand that rested on her shoulder tightening as the one in her hair pressed a little more than it had been.

When he came for her, she could feel the shuddering of his muscles, particularly his thighs which she was using for support, even under the fabric of his clothes. They’d only recently finally donned clothes again for the first time since dinner, and she had decidedly not let it stop her, particularly when it was easy enough to shift the fabric down enough to suit her needs.

“Anna,” he repeated, panting as she too came up for air, swallowing him.

She could feel herself flush, and saw the blush mirrored on his cheeks. He was frazzled, and when she leaned up, using his thighs for support, to get a better look at his expression, she was surprised by his dipping down to kiss her lips.

“Happy New Year Anna,” he whispered, hands already moving on her, pulling her closer as he showed her his appreciation.

She couldn’t help but laugh, accepting her New Year’s kiss as he sat before her with his pants still askew. If it was an omen for the year, she was glad for it. She’d rather the year be an amusing one than the way the previous one had been.

“Happy 2021 Kristoff,” she replied, kissing him again and letting herself enjoy the sensation of his touch before reaching down to tug on his waistband, helping him readjust before turning to shut the television off and drag him off to bed.

They’d had a long, but very enjoyable day. The perfect way, she thought, to usher in the New Year.  

[arknights-imagines]

Good Day! Love the work you put into the blog :D it fills up my need for shipping all the beautiful operators. I want to ask for maybe an imagine for one of the trust lines ambriel has (I love her so much

Hi anon!! 🥺✨ Tysm for your compliments wgshgsgs 😭 💕 I've been meaning to write something for Ambriel since I love her a lot and she's a bit of a comfort character for me 👉👈 she seems like she'd be a lot of fun to be around lolol!! 🤣🥺 Anywho, I tried my best with this and I hope I did her justice 🌸

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Sneaking Off

Imagine format; From the perspective of the Operator for majority

Contains: Ambriel, gender neutral Doctor, sort of implied established relationship, mention of side characters and other locations outside R.I, lots of playful softness at the end 🥺

Word count: lil over 1.5k!

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‘Hmph, what a pain.’ Ambriel yawned, following the other Operators of the Sniper team as they all hopped off the back of the military truck tasked with making sure they returned to the Rhodes Island camp safely.

Her and the rest of the Operators who specialized in long-ranged support had been assigned with a task somewhere at the outskirts further away toward Kazdel - travelling using the Rhodes Island landship wouldn't have been inconspicuous enough, so all the staff and Operators had to stay at the camp set up by Amiya and the Doctor for now. If she was honest, all Ambriel wanted to do was finish the assignment up and go back to Rhodes Island where she could be more at ease, but sadly, duty called.

Arms stretched over her head, Ambriel headed toward the dormitory tent, lining up with the other Operators and showing her card of identification to the person with a tablet at the entrance when it was her turn - “Welcome back Ambriel; how’d the mission go?” The Sankta sighed, “Pretty good, not a single shot wasted.” With a small nod, the staff member then let her through.

Inside, exhausted Sniper Operators were practically dragging themselves to their cots; unlike them, Ambriel wasted no time, nonchalantly strolling over and throwing her bags and heavy coat on the bed she was occupying for now. After ridding herself of anything that would be too much of a hassle, she turned right around headed over to exit the tent through the flap at the back.

A voice caught her, “Going somewhere, Ambriel?” With a lifted brow, another Sniper Operator piped up as they saw Sankta taking her leave; “Hehe, I’m off to go find the Doctor. Err, if anyone comes looking for me tell them I went to practice my shooting.” And with that Ambriel left with haste, not pausing to hear the Operators response - which was probably for the better.

When she finally stepped outside and into the heart of the camp, a sigh left her lips and she shook her hair out. The Sankta had been dying to be free of work since the morning; sure, she much preferred working for Rhodes Island over serving the Pontifica Cohors Lateran or the Lateranian Notarial Hall, but for Ambriel, more time for oneself was always in high demand.

However, when she noticed a familiar jacket-clad person leaving a tend nearby, she had a feeling her day was about to get much better. Ambriel's lips pulled into a grin, shoulders rolling back as she took off toward them.

“Yo, Doctor~!!” Bright hair flowed buoyantly behind her as the Sankta quickly made her way over, feeling a little brighter than she was just a few seconds ago. Turning around, the Doctor grinned at her and spared her a small wave, “Ambriel, I’m glad you made it back safe and sound.” They motioned toward the path you were just about to walk down, “Walk with me?”

At the offer, Ambriel’s lips pulled into a smile, “You got it.” Happily, she hooked her arm with theirs as the Doctor spoke up, “How did the mission go?” The Sankta sighed softly, “They weren't good at hiding, I can tell you that. Felt like kind of a waste of ammo to be completely honest.” Her hand reached up and tapped their cheek a few times, a smile on her lips, “I’m pretty happy I got back by sundown to see you.” The Doctor returned her grin, expressing that they too were glad to see her.

The Sniper Operator quirked a brow up, papers in their hand catching her eye, “Hmm, you still have work you gotta do around the camp?” The Doctor nodded, using their free hand to unearth more papers they had tucked into their coat, “Amiya asked me to check on some things with other Operators.” The Sankta huffed a little, propping her chin on their shoulder to peek at the sheets of paper, “You should learn to relax a little; after all, Amiya said we’d all be stationed here for a little while, didn't she?”

The Doctor sighed, going on to explain as they led Ambriel toward the communications tent where their next task was, “Yes, but the success of the Operation relies a lot on keeping everything in order.” Rolling her eyes a little, the Sniper Operator decided to drop the topic; there wasn't really any point arguing with them, not to mention it had obviously been a long day for the both of them.

Watching carefully, Ambriel stayed with the Doctor as they began talking to the staff within the comms tent - all of it was nonsense to her, but the Sankta figured she’d hang around considering she really didn't have anywhere to be. When the Doctor noticed her sitting herself atop an empty desk while popping open a box of chocolate sticks to snack on, they lifted a brow up, “Ambriel, you don't have to stay. I might be a while.”

The Sniper Operator shrugged, placing one of the chocolate snacks between her lips, “Oh, I might as well stay until you finish up - I did come looking for you. But you know, “ She propped her chin in her hand, “If it isn't urgent, you should really just reschedule it for a later date.”

The Doctor spared her a smile, “Well if you really want to stay, I won’t stop you. Just stay out of trouble.” Ambriel rolled her eyes, biting back a teasing grin, “Oh please, you won’t even know I’m here~.”

The Sankta obeyed them - watching them attend their business while eating her chocolate sticks; and after some time, the Doctor finally returned to her, causing her to hop off the desk with obvious eagerness. “You’re finally finished?” The Sniper Operator dusted the crumbs from her snack off herself as the Doctor shook their head, “I have to wait for some more papers to finish processing, and then I’ll be done for the day.”

Ambriel blinked, expression baffled, “Huh? You can just wait for them and come back another time, right?” The Doctor shrugged a little, “I was told to get them sent off ASAP-” “That's ridiculous, whatever you need them for can get pushed back.”

Attitude now more assertive, Ambriel locked their arms with hers, practically yanked them out of the tent - the Doctor blinked, eyebrows furrowing together in confusion, “Hey, Ambriel-” “You promised me a movie a while back, didn't you Doctor?”

Oh, well, they had done that; it was less of a promise and more of agreement in the Sankta’s suggestion, but a movie with her didn't sound unpleasant at all. The Doctor just wasn't sure that a camp in the middle of nowhere was the best place for a date.

“I’ve been carrying that hard drive with the movie we picked out on it for forever.” As she exited the tent, dragging the Doctor with her, Ambriel’s voice lowered, “And I know about a TV in one of the little tents near where the elite Operators usually work.” Just as the Doctor opened their mouth to speak, she shushed them with a finger to their lips, “Oh, I know it's for communications or whatever, but who’s gonna notice us using it?”

The Doctor downcasted their gaze; it had in fact been a long time since their last break, and an even longer time since they had been able to spend time with the Sankta. On top of that, Ambriel presented a good point; the movie would only take an hour, no one would come looking for them if they went missing for such a short period of time.

“...hm.” They sighed, and Ambriel watched them with rapt attention. Then, they reached down and laced their fingers with hers, a bright smile painting their lips, “You’re right, let's go watch that movie.”

With her own lips pulling into a grin, she squeezed their hand back - “See? I knew you’d come around.” The Sankta snickered, “Hehe, if anyone catches us, we were watching battle records, not slacking off~.” Considering this was Ambriel, the Doctor wasn't surprised she was ready with some kind of an excuse, but even though it was childish it made the smile on their face light up further.

Ambriel; she found importance in practicality and living leisurely - the Sankta could have honestly cared less about protecting the glory of Laterano or becoming a hero to those at Rhodes Island. All she wanted was to be able to relax with the Doctor at the end of every day, and she dearly hoped that they enjoyed it just as much as she did. A simple person she was indeed; as long as she had the Doctor, she had everything she wanted.

Breaking from her thoughts, Ambriel lowered her voice again, “I know we’re supposed to be taking it easy, but just in case that white-haired elite Sankta from the Notarial Hall spots me, start planning a better plan of escape, got it?” The Doctor chimed with a laugh at her antics, “Got it, Ambriel. You can count on me.”

Little did she know; the Doctor loved sneaking off with her maybe even more than she, herself enjoyed it.

[morningfears]

Television Romance [Chapter Two]

Rating: PG-13 (a little suggestive, a little swearing)

Summary: Luke and Natalia go on their first date and they’re surprised at how well they get along. Natalia is also surprised at how well she’s able to ruin a moment.

Word Count: 6.7k

Chapter One

The conference room was empty as Natalia settled into one of the oversized office chairs situated around the long wooden table. She still had twenty minutes until colloquium, a meeting that took place every other Friday and served as a way for students to get to know their professors’ and colleagues’ research interests, began but she had just gotten out of a meeting with her advisor and didn’t feel like walking the extra few steps to the grad office. She knew that it would be full of students, each of them expressing how pointless they found colloquium or how annoyed they were to be on campus on a Friday, and though she usually felt compelled to agree (colloquium was, for the most part, pointless and her Fridays suffered greatly for it), she was in too good a mood to complain.

Although her workload had felt overwhelming, she’d managed to finish it all in far less time than she anticipated. She’d worked harder than she had in months and her sleep schedule suffered dearly for it but her advisor had the first draft of her thesis proposal, her conference paper had been submitted with nearly twelve hours to spare, and her co-author had the revisions necessary to resubmit their journal article. Her students had their first grades of the semester and every unread email in her inbox was answered.

She was exhausted, mentally and physically, but she’d managed to free her schedule completely so that she would have nothing to worry about when she went to dinner with Luke.

As if he could sense her thinking about him, Natalia’s phone vibrated in her hand and a message from Luke appeared on the screen. “Is it too cheesy to tell you that I’ve been looking forward to this all week?”

Natalia grinned at the message, a goofy smile that made her cheeks hurt, and bit back an uncharacteristic giggle as she replied, “Only if it’s cheesy to tell you that I’ve been looking forward to it, too.”

Though she had been somewhat excited when she met him - he was gorgeous - her excitement only grew the more they interacted. Throughout the week, she and Luke had exchanged dozens of messages. Most of them were superficial, wishes for good days and texts meant to plan their evening, but a few had been more fun and inquisitive. They’d wanted to save the traditional questions for the date itself - what do you do, where are you from, what brings you to LA? - so they’d had to get creative in getting to know one another.

Luke had taken to sending her cheesy jokes, stupid puns and ridiculous questions - her favorite of which was whether she would fight one horse sized duck or a dozen duck sized horses - in an effort to get to know her and it made her giddy with anticipation. She thought he was cute and he seemed charming. He was fun, silly, and sweet and she found herself starting to like him more than she thought she would. She wasn’t attached, not yet, but she could feel herself growing more comfortable with the idea of him becoming a part of her life and she only hoped that that would extend to their in-person meeting.

As she grinned at Luke’s latest joke, a cheese pun that made her groan in delight, she failed to notice the door of the conference room open or the bag drop onto the table beside her. She was too engrossed in typing out her reply, a string of emojis and a half-hearted plea for him to find a new hobby, to notice Nicole take a seat. Only when she spoke did Natalia look away from her phone.

“Okay, so, I was thinking about ordering pizza for tonight. We have some money in the grad association account and free food is the only thing I can think of that will convince people to spend their Friday night locked in the grad office. We can’t buy their alcohol but I promised everyone we would go out for drinks once the last person hit submit.”

Natalia blinked, confused as to what Nicole was talking about, before her eyes widened and her heart dropped in realization. “The writing party, fuck,” she groaned, her head falling back as she huffed a sigh of annoyance at her mistake. She wasn’t normally one to forget things - she was the first person anyone turned to when they needed to know a deadline - but it had completely slipped her mind. She’d been so caught up in wanting to see Luke that anything nonessential had completely fallen off her radar. “I’m so sorry, Ni. I totally forgot all about it.”

“It’s no big deal,” Nicole assured her as she watched Natalia spin in her chair to face her. “It really didn’t need any planning. I just sent out an email. I was hoping you could bring some of those method books of yours, though. I don’t have anything to submit so I wanted to work on my proposal. I’m having trouble wording the coding section.”

Natalia grimaced and shook her head. “No, Ni, I forgot and, uh, sort of made other plans?” 

She tried her hardest not to look guilty - it was an informal writing group that likely wouldn’t get much writing done, anyway - but Natalia felt bad. She knew that Nicole was struggling to get her proposal done and there weren’t many other people she could turn to for help. Their program was small, one of the smallest on campus, and of the current cohort, only she, Nicole, and one doctoral student had chosen the same methodology. They hadn’t had a formal class on the method yet - they’d been thrown to the wolves, not unlike the rest of their graduate career - and relied on one another to make the best of their situation.

This would have been an opportunity for them to sit down, uninterrupted by life, and work out the roadblocks she’d been hitting. However, Natalia had forgotten and committed to dinner with Luke.

“I can reschedule,” she offered, before Nicole could speak, “I feel like he wouldn’t mind.”

At the mention of a ‘he’, Nicole raised her eyebrows and shook her head. “No, seriously, it’s not a big deal. We can meet during office hours next week or something. But, that’s beside the point.” She dropped her cellphone onto the table and turned her full attention to Natalia as she asked, “He? Who is he?”

Natalia knew that Nicole was expecting her to say that the aforementioned he was her father, who she had dinner with once a week, or the new TA that followed her around like a lost puppy. But she wasn’t expecting her to say, “The guy from the coffee shop, Luke.”

“The one that destroyed your dress?” Nicole did look surprised, her eyebrows remained raised and her mouth dropped open, but she looked almost amused at the sheepish grin that graced Natalia’s face. “Let me guess, he asked you out as a way to make up for it?”

“…yes. He’s so cute, Ni, I couldn’t say no,” Natalia gushed with a grin as she shifted in her chair and reached for her phone. Nicole rolled her eyes good-naturedly and rolled her chair a little closer to lean over and take a look at the text thread Natalia pulled up. “Look, he’s been sending me stupid jokes all week and he’s excited about the date and so am I.”

“Wait, date? Holy shit, Nat, get laid!”

Natalia and Nicole glanced up from her phone and watched as Ali, the third member of their cohort - the only other master’s student that started the program at the same time as them - stepped into the conference room and took a seat across from them. “D’you finally agree to meet a Tinder match in person?” she asked as she grabbed a notebook and pen from her backpack.

“No, they met the old fashioned way; he destroyed her dress by spilling coffee on her,” Nicole answered for her as she grabbed her own notebook out of her backpack.

“Oh, retro vibes, cute. Is he hot?” Natalia rolled her eyes fondly as Ali leaned forward, her eyebrows raised as she waited for a response.

Although the three of them had grown as close as sisters and looked quite similar to one another, they couldn’t be more different. Nicole was the oldest - she’d taken two years off between undergrad and grad school - and acted like it. She was the voice of reason, the calming presence that kept Natalia from overreacting and Ali from under-reacting. She was the heart of the group, the one who provided a shoulder to cry on and a kind word of advice when things got tough, and neither Natalia nor Ali could imagine getting through grad school without her. Nicole was also married and had been for three years. She and her husband had been together since their freshman year of college - they met in a class - and she was very happy to be in a committed, long term relationship.

Ali was the wildcard of their group. She was a free spirit, only acting according to her own desires, and was unapologetic in how she lived her life. She was the group’s sense of courage, pushing Natalia out of her comfort zone by taking her out to bars and helping her fill her closet with clothes she never would’ve imagined herself wearing as well as helping Nicole get through the semester without bowing to the pressures of the administration. Like Natalia, Ali was technically single. Unlike Natalia, however, Ali dated around and kept her options open. She had a string of ‘boyfriends’ and decided that she would wait until after she received her doctorate to settle down.

Their biggest similarities were their looks. Each of them had long dark hair, though Ali’s was a shade lighter than Nicole and Natalia’s, and stood at a little over five feet. Nicole and Natalia stayed out of the sun, both of them burned quite easily and went red instead of tanning, while Ali remained a beautiful olive all year round. Nicole and Ali were both curvier, each with natural assets that Natalia longed for, while Natalia fell somewhere in an annoying gap between petite and average. 

Natalia loved the differences in her friends, she appreciated seeing the way they all complemented one another, but she couldn’t help but laugh at the almost predictable reactions she’d gotten from both of them upon learning that she had a date.

“He’s gorgeous,” she finally answered, grinning at Ali when she nodded in appreciation and gave her a thumbs up.

“That’s my girl! Have you got condoms? You can stop by my place and grab some after colloquium if you want. Oh, do you need help getting ready? I can do your makeup!” Ali looked to be almost more excited than Natalia was about the date. She was giddy, grinning at the possibilities, and Natalia hated to rain on her parade but she didn’t plan on sleeping with Luke on their first date.

“I appreciate the offer, Al, but I don’t think I’ll need the condoms just yet. I would love for you to do my makeup, though. We’re going to Oak and I know it’s kind of dark in there but it’s also a little nicer than the dives we go to so I should make an effort,” she reasoned as she watched the door swing open and a few of their classmates enter the room. She waved at them, as did Nicole and Ali, before she added, “We can talk about it after colloquium.”

Throughout the hour long meeting, Natalia’s phone wouldn’t stop buzzing. Luke texted her, a photo of himself and his dog that made her heart melt, and joked that he had the best help in getting ready for their night. Nicole and Ali filled their group chat - appropriately titled ‘why are we here?’ - with suggestions for conversation topics (although Natalia sincerely hoped ‘do you have any hot, single friends?’ was a joke) as well as gentle teasing about how their baby was growing up.

Natalia took it all in stride, shaking her head at Nicole and Ali’s teasing and gushing over Luke’s dog, but she felt just as excited as they all seemed to. It was nice, having plans and feeling something she hadn’t felt in a long while, and she only grew more excited as colloquium ended and they all began to file out of the conference room.

“Send me a text when you guys choose where you’re going for drinks,” she told Nicole as the three of them stepped out of the building, her and Ali heading toward her car while Nicole was off to her own, “I might stop by and get a drink after my date.”

“If you do, let me know. I want all the details. If not, we can all get breakfast or something and you can tell us everything.” Ali wasn’t the type to turn down a drink or gossip so it came as no surprise that she wanted to be included in the conversation.

“Have fun, Nat,” Nicole bid, a genuinely happy smile on her face as she began walking down the sidewalk. “See you later!”

Natalia and Ali waved off Nicole before they began the trek to Natalia’s car. She and Luke planned to meet at eight and it was already four. She knew that she had time - she would likely only show up a few minutes early - but she was anxious to get ready. She had no idea what she wanted to wear, how she wanted her makeup done, or how to wear her hair. She hadn’t been on a date in years - she’d been too busy worrying about school to worry about much else - so this was new territory for her.

Natalia was glad that Ali was there to help her get ready. She was glad that she had a friend who was willing to pick through her closet and help her find something that was cute enough to make a good impression but comfortable enough to wear for a few hours. She was nervous, a good kind of anxious that filled her stomach with butterflies and had her pacing her bedroom as Ali pulled the final piece of clothing from her closet.

“It’s going to be fine,” Ali laughed as she watched Natalia glance in the mirror at her makeup once more. She’d gone simple, opted for a natural look that only enhanced Natalia’s looks, and reached out to slap her shoulder to keep her from touching her eyebrow. “You’re going to wipe off my hard work. Here, get dressed. Would you mind dropping me off at my place on your way?”

“No, of course not,” Natalia assured her as she grabbed the garments from Ali’s hand and stepped into her bathroom to change. “It’s on my way. That’ll keep me from being too early, too.”

“I was at least a little strategic in getting you ready,” Ali pointed out as she waited for Natalia to exit the bathroom. “Have you warned him that you’re a chronic overachiever who can’t be late and has, like, forty calendars to make sure you don’t miss any deadlines yet?”

“I only have three,” Natalia defended as she emerged from the bathroom, smoothing the top she wore. “I keep them in different places so I always know what I need to be doing. How does this look?”

Ali brought her hand to her chest and faked a sniffle as she caught sight of Natalia. She had gone for simple here, too, and pulled a high-waisted black, button down mini-skirt, a white short sleeve top, and a distressed denim jacket. She handed her a necklace, one of the few pieces of jewelry Natalia owned, as well as a bracelet before she glanced at the two options for shoes she’d pulled out of the closet.

“How tall is he?” Ali asked as she looked between the pair of ankle boots and flats on the floor in front of her.

“Uh, very.” Natalia tried not to sound too excited at that - she’d always been fond of taller men - and Ali nodded in appreciation.

“Boots it is, then. Okay, I think you’re ready. Do you have any pictures of this guy? I’m curious as fuck now,” Ali hummed as she watched Natalia slip her feet into the boots.

“Mm, yeah, he sent me a picture of him and his dog earlier.” She reached for her cellphone, unplugging it from the charger, and opened her text thread with Luke to show Ali the photo he’d sent her. He had the same unique smile he’d shown her the day they met and his clear blue eyes were on display as he’d pulled his hair away from his face. He was cute, far cuter than anyone she’d ever dated, and she felt a small amount of pride at the impressed look on Ali’s face.

“He looks familiar,” she mumbled, after agreeing that he was gorgeous, “I don’t know where I’d know him from, though.”

“Maybe you saw him on Tinder or something,” Natalia offered with a shrug as she locked her phone and dropped it into her bag. “Or maybe he’s friends with one of your boyfriends.”

“Maybe,” Ali shrugged as she grabbed her bag and led the way out of Natalia’s apartment. “I don’t even keep track anymore. Did I tell you about Jason? I would drop out and become a trophy wife for that man any day.”

Natalia listened to Ali share a story about her latest boyfriend - one she agreed was gorgeous and seemed sweeter and a little more put together than the guys Ali usually went for - as she drove her back to her apartment. She realized, as they waited at a red light, that she would get to join the conversation about dates the next time they interacted and felt a small thrill at the idea. She usually had very little to contribute when Ali and Nicole spoke about their partners - other than the occasional, “I’m glad I’m single,” when they discussed the follies of man - and couldn’t wait to tell them all about her date.

As Natalia pulled into the parking lot of Ali’s apartment complex, Ali reached into her bag and pulled a few foil squares from one of the pockets. She took Natalia’s hand off the steering wheel as soon as she’d put the car in park and placed the condoms in her hand before she patted it and grinned. “You never know what you’ll need, so, just in case.”

With that and a grin that made Natalia roll her eyes, Ali climbed out of the car and sent a wave in her direction before bounding up the stairs. Natalia remained in the parking spot for a second, pausing to collect her thoughts and take a deep breath, before she shoved the condoms into her bag, pulled out of the parking lot and made her way to Oak.

When Luke asked if she had any preferences for their date, her first thought was of Oak. It was a bar that couldn’t be considered a dive but was also a far cry from the swanky clubs in other parts of the city. It was nice but not too nice. Like Molly’s, the bar was Instagrammable - a key factor in its popularity with college students as the drinks were a little pricier than two dollar beer but not unreasonable for an every now and again sort of thing - and encouraged patrons to dress a little nicer than the go-to athleisure look. Everything about it read 1920s speakeasy, except the patio. Natalia loved the patio, hidden off to the side with little wooden benches and cool metal tables surrounded by walls covered in ivy, and she was glad the weather was nice enough that she could request they sit out there.

The interior was always a little dark but Natalia thought it was kind of romantic as the lighting was supplemented by tea candles on the tables. However, the music - an array of jazz - was usually a little too loud for conversation. Because of that, she hoped that Luke wouldn’t mind if they ordered their drinks and took them outside so they could talk.

When Natalia arrived (only five minutes early, a rare feat for her as she usually arrived with twenty minutes to spare), she was pleasantly surprised to see Luke waiting for her near the front steps. Although she’d found him attractive upon first meeting him, dressed in basketball shorts and looking like he’d just woken up, he looked even better dressed up.

He had also opted for simple and wore plain black jeans and a wine red button down. He left the first few buttons undone and Natalia imagined that if she were a cartoon character, her eyes would be hearts by now. She wanted to stare at him for a moment longer but she didn’t want to keep him waiting. She took another moment, another deep breath, before she climbed out of the car and crossed the parking lot to join him.

“Hi.”

Luke lifted his head, turning his attention away from his cellphone, and grinned at the sight of Natalia. He quickly locked the device and shoved it into his pocket as he returned her greeting. “Hi.” He paused, his eyes raking over her body and taking in the sight of her, before he added, “You look beautiful.”

Without thinking, with only a giddy nervousness filling her mind, Natalia grinned and returned, “So do you.”

She and Luke stood there, taking one another in with pink cheeks and silly smiles, for far too long. It wasn’t awkward, the silence was appreciative and punctuated by shy grins and quiet giggles, and Natalia would have been content to spend the evening sharing heart-eyed looks with Luke had another couple not walked by, breaking the spell.

“Do you want to head in?” Luke asked, glancing at the door a few feet to his left before returning his gaze to Natalia. “I’ve never been here before.”

Natalia glanced up at him - the height difference was still noticeable, even with her heeled boots - and smiled as they entered the main room. “It’s nice. I’ve been here a few times but, I’ll be honest, I usually go to this place called The Door.”

“The Door? Why here, then, and not there?” Luke asked as they approached the bar and and each reached for a drink menu.

“I didn’t want to run into every professor in my department.” When Luke raised an eyebrow at that, Natalia shook her head and quickly added, “Everyone in the department goes there for drinks and I didn’t think it would fun to have my advisor a few tables over as we tried to talk. I chose this place because I don’t really venture too far from campus. LA is… overwhelming.”

“That’s fair,” Luke acknowledged as they waited for the bartender to make his way to them. He turned to look at Natalia, an easy smile on his lips and blue eyes alight with intrigue, as he asked, “You’re not from here?”

“Is anyone?” Luke laughed at Natalia’s quip and she offered him a smile in return. “No, I grew up in Oakland. It was a different vibe. What about you? You’re not from LA.”

“I’m not,” he confirmed with a shake of his head as he moved to stand a little closer to her to let another couple access the bar, “I’m from Australia. I’ve been here for a really long time, though.”

Natalia could smell Luke’s cologne and bit back a sigh as he met her eyes once again. It was hard to keep her train of thought with him looking directly at her, the longer she stared at him, the more beautiful she found him, but she managed to ask, “Yeah? What brought you to LA?”

As Luke opened his mouth to answer, the bartender approached the pair of them to take their drink orders. Luke gestured for her to order first and she chose the only thing on the menu with vodka - the only liquor she didn’t really hate - while Luke opted for the drink with rum. They started a tab - on Luke’s card, despite Natalia’s resistance - before she gestured for him to follow her to the patio with their drinks.

“Okay, so, what brought you to LA?” Natalia repeated as they each took a seat at one of the small metal tables The lighting was better outside, a little brighter than the candlelit interior, and she had to remind herself not to stare as she waited for Luke’s answer.

“I’m in a band. We came out here to follow our dreams.” Natalia wasn’t exactly surprised to hear that Luke was a musician. He looked the part, with shaggy blonde curls and chipped nail polish on a few fingers as well as a sort of confidence about him that she’d only seen in the wannabe rockstars she knew from home, so she nodded.

“Would I know your music?”

Luke smiled at her, a sparkle of mischief in his eyes, and shrugged. The look on his face suggested there was a joke that Natalia wasn’t in on and she scrunched her eyebrows in mild confusion as he asked, “I don’t know. What kind of music do you listen to?”

“A little punk - I’m from Oakland, we have a killer punk scene,” she defended when Luke blinked in surprise. He held his hands up in surrender,  a laugh falling from his lips, and gestured for her to continue. “Um, a lot of stuff that was released before I was born? My dad was in a punk band in high school and a grunge band in college and my mom was a riot grrrl. I grew up listening to whatever they were listening to and whatever their bands played and it’s still pretty prominent in my playlists. So, punk and grunge and a lot of classic rock.”

Luke looked mildly impressed by Natalia’s taste and nodded appreciatively. “Yeah, you probably wouldn’t know any of our stuff.” Luke laughed, again looking like he knew something she didn’t, before he took a sip of his drink. She shrugged, a playful smile of her own on her lips, and he shook his head. “I wouldn’t have expected that but that’s way cooler than me. I listen to a lot of pop punk, a little more alternative. And classic rock.”

“Nothing wrong with pop punk. I love blink. And I was super into All Time Low in high school.”

The conversation hit a short lull, both Luke and Natalia glancing at one another over the tops of their drinks, but it wasn’t truly awkward. They had yet to figure out how to interact with one another, which was to be expected, so Natalia offered a suggestion to break the ice. “Want to play twenty questions?”

Luke perked up, the full toothed grin returning, and nodded as he leaned on his elbows and met her gaze across the table. “That sounds like the perfect idea. You want to start?”

Natalia nodded and scrutinized Luke as she thought up her first question.  She knew that he was from Australia and that he was in a band she probably hadn’t heard of. She knew that he had a dog and that he liked pop punk. “Do you have any siblings?”

“Two brothers, Ben and Jack. You’re in school, what are you studying?” Luke had an adorable habit of tilting his head to show his engagement in the conversation and Natalia bit back a dreamy sigh as she watched him tap his glass to the beat of the song - the patio had a stream of top 40 hits playing and she didn’t recognize any of them but, judging by the way his eyes lit up when this one came on, he did.

“Health communication. Basically, my line of research is that everyone defines health differently and you can’t expect all people to react the same way to the same messages. There is no universal definition of health.” Again, Luke looked surprised and impressed. He nodded, thankful that she’d given a bit of clarification on what she meant by health communication, and waited for her to ask her question. “What’s the best thing about being in a band?”

Luke lit up at her question, his smile growing into the tongue-pressed-to-teeth grin she was growing to adore. “Is it a cop out if I say everything?” When she nodded, Luke made a show of groaning and pouted for a moment before laughing and shaking his head. “This is going to sound really cheesy but being able to spend my time with my best friends. I love the guys, they’re my brothers at this point, and getting to work with them is all I ever could’ve asked for.”

Natalia felt her heart melt at Luke’s answer. She cooed and when Luke’s cheeks went pink, she reassured him, “That’s the sweetest answer you could’ve given. That’s really awesome. I barely know you but I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks.” Luke laughed, cheeks still flushed and eyes crinkling as he watched Natalia take another sip of her drink. “What are your friends like?” He was curious, as they were on the subject, and he wanted to know if the people Natalia surrounded herself with were as interesting as she was.

“Strange. I have my cohort, the two girls I started my master’s program with, and then I have a few friends from home but it’s a pretty small group of very different people and I don’t know where I would be without them.” It was Luke’s turn to coo, his smile soft and his cheeks still pink from a combination of the heat, the alcohol, and his affection, and Natalia dipped her head to get away from his gaze. “In your band, what’s your job? Guitarist, vocalist…?”

“Both of those, actually. I play guitar and sing. Ash, the guy that was with me in the coffee shop, is our drummer.”

“You know, I could’ve guessed that. You’ve got the lead singer look,” Natalia teased. She grinned at Luke’s raised eyebrows and shrugged. “I think it’s the hair, rockstar. But it looks good on you.”

Luke rolled his eyes, a playful gesture accompanied by laughter, and stuck his chin out indignantly. “Looks can be deceiving,” he reminded her, a playful glare on his face as he added, “You keep surprising me at every turn.” When she titled her head, curious as to what he meant, Luke smiled and gestured to Natalia’s empty glass. “That’s a good thing, I promise. And this isn’t my question,” he clarified, a playfully pointed look accompanying his statement, "but would you like another drink?”

“I’d love one. Using that time to think up another question?” Her accusation was playful, her grin gave her away, but Luke played along but giving her a pout.

“How can you think so little of me? I’m not,” Luke denied, his grin bright as he stood to grab another round of drinks. “But I’ll give you that time to think about your answer. Thoughts on social media? I’ll be back.”

Natalia watched Luke disappear through the side door, a bright grin on her lips. Luke was cute, sweet, and fun. The conversation was flowing better than she imagined it would.  She was glad that the hope she’d gleaned from her text conversations with him wasn’t misplaced and found herself itching to continue the conversation as she listened to a song she vaguely recognized as one of Dua Lipa’s filter through the patio area.

True to his word, Luke returned in a matter of minutes with fresh drinks in hand and an expectant look on his face. “So, thoughts?”

“I think it’s a useful tool in some cases and utterly useless and damaging in others. It’s helpful in emergencies, getting the word out quickly, but it’s creating a weird culture and I don’t like it. I don’t have any social media profiles aside from Facebook - my mom likes to video chat and doesn’t have an iPhone so, no FaceTime, I just use it for Messenger - and LinkedIn.” Natalia was used to the looks she got from others when she divulged her lack of social media and Luke was no different. He looked shocked but almost impressed.

“That’s really awesome. I don’t use mine much but I think it’d feel weird if I didn’t have them.”

“I mean, you’re a musician. It probably helps get the word out there, build a fanbase, all the marketing stuff. I’m an academic. The only thing I could post on Instagram is a bad selfie taken under florescent library lighting,” Natalia joked as she reached for her drink.

“No faking your life for the ‘Gram?” Luke asked, genuinely curious and interested in hearing her take on social media. It wasn’t often that he ran into people like her, not in his life, so he felt compelled to hear more.

“No, it doesn’t seem worth it. It seems like too much work and, honestly, I don’t want the attention. You have these kids that are, like, twelve blowing up online and that just seems so stressful. I don’t want the world watching my every move. I’m fine in the shadows.”

An odd look crossed Luke’s face at Natalia’s reluctance to be seen and she almost asked him about it. She didn’t understand what the issue was with her not wanting notoriety or her face to be plastered all over Instagram but the look was gone so quickly that she felt like she must have imagined it. So, instead of dwelling, she turned to her next question. “If you were stuck on an island, what three things would you bring with you?”

The conversation continued well past twenty questions. Luke was genuinely interested in her research, asking questions about her reasons for choosing such an emotionally taxing topic and what she planned to do with her research when she finished, and it was nice to just explain rather than defend her choices. She was interested in his music, curious about the songwriting process and the way he dealt with writer’s block from a creative standpoint, and it was nice to talk to someone who had no idea what his life was really like.

They found themselves talking until one of the staff members stuck their head out the door and informed them that it was last call. They’d each only had two drinks, the last was sipped over a matter of hours as they’d been talking too much to really pay attention to anything other than one another, and Natalia was slightly disappointed that it was time to say goodnight as they headed in to close out the tab.

Luke, like Natalia, dragged his feet as they left the bar and lingered near the front steps. He looked just as crestfallen as she did, not ready for their night to be over but not wanting to give her the wrong impression by asking her to come home with him. They liked one another, really and truly, and neither wanted to rush into things. It felt nice, just getting to know one another without the pressure of their lives closing in on them, and they wanted to keep it that way for as long as they could.

“I know this might be too soon,” Luke began, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he met Natalia’s gaze with a shy smile, “but would you want to go out again tomorrow? Maybe for dinner? I have rehearsal tomorrow afternoon but we could do something after that.”

Natalia grinned, a giddy smile that was contagious as Luke matched her grin with one of his own, and nodded. “Definitely. I need to spend the day writing but I’m totally free tomorrow night,” she agreed readily, not caring if she looked eager as Luke looked just as giddy as she did.

“Good, awesome. I, uh, I’ll let you know what time we’re supposed to finish tomorrow.” Luke paused, his grin softening as he realized that Natalia looked gorgeous even in the harsh glow of unflattering streetlights, before he added, “I had a really good time tonight. I’m still sorry for spilling coffee on you but I don’t regret it. Not if it gets me a date like this.”

“I really liked that dress,” Natalia teased, her cheeks flaring pink beneath the foundation she wore as she tried not to coo at Luke’s compliment, “but I’m kind of glad you spilled coffee on me. I think this date more than made up for it.”

Luke and Natalia stared at one another, grinning like lovesick fools and happy that the date had gone better than either of them hoped, before Luke stepped a little closer and asked, “Do you mind if I… can I…?”

Natalia didn’t have a rule against kissing on the first date, she didn’t have any first date rules as she decided she would just see where life took her, but if she did, she would’ve broken it for Luke. As his hand brushed her cheek, she melted into his embrace and breathed a quiet sigh as she nodded just enough for him to feel.

Luke placed a barely there peck to her lips, a soft kiss that felt more like something being taken from her than given, and she wanted to reach out and pull him back into her as he straightened up and smiled. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Natalia.”

“See you tomorrow.”

They both lingered for a second, staring at one another, before Natalia gave him a final shy smile and turned to head to her car. Her head was so far in the clouds that she didn’t notice the small dip in the ground and felt her knees hit pavement before she realized what had happened.

She wasn’t sure if she was glad that Luke was there or embarrassed he’d seen her fall as he rushed over and kneeled beside her. The contents of her bag had spilled across the parking lot and she dropped her head in embarrassment as she groaned. “Fun fact about me, I’m great at destroying the mood.”

“I tripped and dumped coffee on you during our first meeting, a little clumsiness isn’t going to destroy anything. Here, let me help you,” he assured her as he began reaching for the little things that had fallen out of her bag. Chapstick, hand sanitizer, gum, a pencil bag; all things she didn’t mind Luke seeing. However, when he grabbed the few condoms Ali left her with, Natalia groaned again.

“I wasn’t… I didn’t intend for anything to happen. My friend Ali just… threw them at me,” she explained as she shoved the items back into her bag and took Luke’s hand for him to help her back onto her feet. “Not that there’s anything wrong with sex on a first date, do whatever you want, I just… Don’t want?”

Luke bit back a laugh at Natalia’s defeated expression and shook his head. “It’s okay, you don’t have to explain. Better to be safe than sorry. And, I get it. Tonight was nice. I enjoyed it as it was. And I’m still really looking forward to seeing you again tomorrow night.”

“I’m glad. And I am looking forward to seeing you again, too. Hopefully neither of us will trip and we’ll be leaving injury and coffee stain free,” she joked as she brushed some stray gravel from her knees. “I’ll see you then. Have fun at rehearsal.”

“I would say have fun writing but, I’m not gonna lie, I don’t know if that’s appropriate to wish you?”

“Probably not, no one enjoys writing for academia, but I appreciate the thought. Bye, Luke.”

Luke waved Natalia off and waited until she’d gotten safely into her car before heading for his own. She still felt a little embarrassed - she knew that her cheeks were neon red beneath her foundation - but his handling of the situation made her feel that much better about him. He was a good guy, solid and sweet, and Natalia couldn’t wait to see him again.

___________________________________________________________

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[lovemychoices]

The Lost Prince - TRR AU [Liam x MC] Mini Series Chapter 3

After being married for three years and unable to produce an heir, Liam and Riley are about to give up when Liam gets an unexpected news that changes his life forever.

Genre : Romance, Drama

*THIS SERIES PRACTICALLY THROWS CANON OUT THE WINDOW* YEET!YEET!

Characters except my OCs belong to Pixelberry, I am just borrowing them

Word count : 3038

Chapter Summary: Eventually the truth comes out one way or another.

A/N : Sorry I’m posting via mobile plus I don’t have a laptop with me at the moment so the read more options isn’t available. Grammatical errors everywhere, I’m one of those people who only checks their work once and post.

Warning : I’m rating this PG18 cause there will probably be PG18 stuff that’s going to happen in future chapters. So if you read this series you acknowledge that you are 18 and above.

Catch up with the series HERE

Liam called Leo up the day after arriving in LA, sparing him the details about Theon, he just gave Leo the address where they should meet.

Leo had moved to Malibu with his wife Amara, who he met shortly after he signed on for his motocross career. She was his manager and PR rep, after a year of working together they started dating, eventually got married and had twins not long after. The ride from his place to where Liam wanted to meet was merely an hour and a half away.

He stops his motorbike in front of the victorian style house and slowly removes his helmet raising an eyebrow. “Curiouser?” He murmurs to himself. As he hops off his bike, Liam opens the front door ready to meet him. “Leo!” Liam greets with a smile pulling his brother into a bear hug as he steps onto the front porch. “It’s good to see you too little brother.” A few seconds later they pull apart. “So Liam, what’s all this?” He gestures at the surrounding of the house giving a questioning look. “You and Riley aren’t thinking of leaving the courtly life and moving into this suburban home are you?”

Liam snorts and shakes his head. “No it’s nothing like that. I…There’s something you should know.” His face quickly turns serious. “Maybe we should go inside.” Leo nods wondering what is going on, why is Liam acting all ominous, he steps inside the house and follows him towards the living area. “Wait here.” Liam said returning a few minutes later holding Theon’s hand.

Leo's eyes go wide open when he sees the little boy, he steps closer towards him and crouched down so he can meet him eye to eye. One look at the boy and he knew what was going on. “Leo, I’d like to meet Theon. He is my son.”

“Hello Theon, I’m Leo. It’s very nice to meet you.” He puts on his best smiles offering an outstretched hand. Theon looks up at Liam as if waiting for his approval, when Liam nods he turns back to Leo and shakes his hand giving a soft smile. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

Liam clears his throat. “Theon maybe you’d like to show Leah the new castle we finished building yesterday.” Theon gives a nod and brings Leah to accompany him to his room, as soon as they are an earshot away Leo turns to Liam. “Care to explain what’s going on brother?” He gives a pointed look. “I'm assuming since Riley isn’t here she doesn’t know about Theon?”

Liam shakes his head regretfully. “Maybe I should offer you a drink first. “Scotch on the rocks?” After handing Leo his drink, he then explains the whole situation about what happened the night in LA and who Theon’s mother was, also why he didn’t tell Riley about it yet. “She’s been through so much lately, I just couldn’t. But I’ll come clean about everything once I have the DNA test done and get the results.”

“You mean you haven’t had the test done?”

“No… That is why I need your help brother. I don’t want to risk the paparazzi spotting me here in LA.”

“And you’re sure that he is your son?”

“Without a doubt, I can feel it Leo. You saw him with your own eyes, he looks exactly like me when I was younger. Will you help me brother?”

Leo gives a rueful nod. As much as he didn’t agree with Liam’s decision to keep the truth about Theon from Riley, he also knew it wasn’t his secret to tell. He just hoped this secret won’t come back and bite his brother in the ass.

************************************************

It has been more than a week since Liam left for the states, what was supposed to be a few days trip turned longer than expected.

Riley waited on the other line for Liam to answer her facetime call. The first time she called he didn’t answer, which was unlikely because he usually answer after a few rings and it was around 11pm where Liam was so he shouldn’t be in any meetings. After a few more tries he finally answers.

“Hey you.. you almost gave me a scare there. I’ve been calling for half an hour.”

“Sorry love, I was in the bath and left my phone in the bedroom.”

“A bath huh? But isn’t it almost midnight over there?”

“I’ve had a long day. Apologies love, I’ve been going on about my day I forgot to ask about yours. Is everything okay in Cordonia?”

“Well.. Maxwell hasn’t accidentally blown anything up yet so I guess everything is still fine.” She jokingly said but it was as if Liam was paying attention. “Liam? Are you okay?” He shakes his head giving Riley a weak smile. “Yes, everything is fine. I just had a lot to think about lately.”

“You know you can tell me anything right? We’re in this together.” Liam nodded without replying, there was this moment of awkward silence between them. Riley clears her throat. “So I can’t wait till you get back tomorrow, Madeleine already scheduled an appointment to interview the potential surrogates.”

“Oh I… I completely forgot about that. I’m sorry Riley but it seems I have to extend my stay in the states for a few more days.” He lied, the truth was that he had gotten the result for Theon’s DNA test and he was indeed his son. The news brought him such joy when he found out but was quickly overcome by the guilt of lying to his wife.

“Liam it’s been more than a week what possible reason could there be? You know how important this interview was to us..”

“I know.. I know.. And I promise to make it up to you. Have Madeleine reschedule the interview for next week I promise I’ll be back by then. I’m really sorry but I’m going to have to cut our conversation short, I have an early morning tomorrow. Goodnight Riley, I love you.” He said and hang up before she got a chance to respond.

After Liam hangs up, Riley had a gut feeling like something was wrong. Ever since Liam got to the states he has been acting differently, they usually talk for hours when he is finished with his day but for the past week he would sometimes find an excuse to leave or just text her and say he can’t talk.

************************************************

Drake and Maxwell were at the parlor having some drinks after a day attending meetings with the rest of the council when Riley suddenly barges in.

“I think Liam is cheating on me!” She belts in an exaggerated manner as she enters the room then plops down on one of the couches.

Both Drake and Maxwell gives each other a questionable look before turning back to her with their eyebrows raised.

“Good afternoon to you too.”

“Riley the last thing Liam would do is cheat on you. Now what’s this all about?”

Riley explains everything that has happened over the past week about Liam’s behavior after he left for the states and that she told him she wanted them to have a child via surrogacy.

“What if that’s the reason he is cheating on me? I’m already failing him as a wife and queen by not being able to get pregnant?”

Drake and Maxwell takes a seat next to her, Drake placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “He is not cheating on you, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him. I’m sure he’s just had a lot to deal with those diplomats don’t make it easy for him.”

“Drake’s right, don’t you worry little blossom.” Maxwell reassures her then wipes a tear from her cheeks. “Hey I know why don’t you go to New York and surprise him instead? I’m sure he’ll be thrilled!”

Riley stifles a cry. “I wish I could but I have tons of upcoming meetings that require my attention.”

“Then give us your schedule and well take it from here. No but’s…” Drake said firmly.

Riley hesitates at first but she knew there was no going against the two when they joined forces. She smiles and gives both Drake and Maxwell a grateful hug. “Thank you.”

After that the three headed to Liam’s office where his assistant Nicholas was sitting in the front desk just outside. When Riley ask about Liam schedule for the rest of the week he gives her a puzzled look. He explained that there was a meeting in New York but it ended a few days ago and Liam didn’t attend but Hakim did instead.

“HE WHAT?!” She snaps, now she definitely thinks he is cheating on her. How could he do this?

“Mam, I’m sure there’s an explanation.”

“Oh there’s gonna be an explanation alright!” She turns on her heels and stomps out, Drake and Maxwell follows after her all the way to her office where she paces back and forth, frustration written all over her face.

“Riley wait!” She shushes them with her finger while she dials a number on her phone. “Hey, I need your help.”

************************************************

After finding out that Liam had lied about what he was doing in the states Riley had Olivia help track his cell for his whereabouts, she knew that Bastien wouldn’t help her because he was obviously helping Liam. It took a few hours but they finally managed to track his cell all the way to LA.

“Isn’t Leo living in LA? Maybe he is there visiting Leo?” Drake said trying to convince Riley not to jump to any conclusion until there is proof.

“Then why would he feel the need to hide it from me?” No!” She waves her hand dismissively. “Something is not right.” Riley knew what she had to do she would have to go to LA, find her husband and get the truth once and for all.

*************************************************

Riley asked another favor from Olivia to borrow her private jet instead of using the Royal jet, thinking if she did Bastien would find out and tell Liam and she didn’t want him to know what she had coming for him.

She made Drake and Maxwell to swear and keep their mouth shut.

“I’m going to LA to find Liam and I’ll be flying with The Nevrakis jet to avoid suspicion from Bastien. No one must know of this and if they ask you will tell the staff and the royal guard that the queen is away with duchess Olivia on a short spa trip and does not wish to be disturbed. I’m leaving the two of you to keep things in check while I’m away and I need the two of you to swear not to breathe a word of this to Liam are we clear?” She said in a stern voice pointing at both the men who gave each other a look then nods. “Say you swear it on your balls so much as if you break your promise you’ll lose them.”

“What? Riley I’m not gonna swear on my…”

“Swear it Drake!”

“Geez! ok fine! I swear to lose my balls if I so much so say even one word about this to Liam and anybody” Riley smiled trying to hide a giggle then turns to Maxwell pointedly with her hands on her hips. “You too agent breakdance.”

Maxwell chuckles “Hey, you don’t have to tell me twice. I like my balls where they currently are, attached to me and fully functional.”

“Good then I’ll see the two of you in a day or two.” She closes her suitcase and turns on her heels towards the door, looking over her shoulder before she leaves. “Try not to burn anything while I’m away.”

“Heard that Drake, she was talking about you.”

Drake gives Maxwell a sarcastic eye roll. “Sure she was.”

*************************************************

Riley stepped on to the front porch of the Victorian home where one of Olivia’s spies managed to track Liam down, she could feel her hands tremble feeling a bit hesitant to give the doorbell ring. What if she didn’t like what was behind those doors? Why was her husband her in a house she didn’t know existed until now? Better yet why did he feel the need to lie about where he really was? She sucks in a deep breath and exhaling calmly before finally having the courage to press that golden plated button.

She felt like she was holding her breath forever when the door opens up and a petite young woman with dark hair and tanned skin stood in front of her. “I’m sorry miss are you looking for someone?” The woman asked with a confused look on her face.

“I uh…” I must have the wrong address? She thought but just then a familiar face steps behind the woman. “Leah, is something wrong?” Liam asked when he sees Riley standing at the threshold,his eyes go wide open. Her nostrils flare and her eyes narrowing at him while her fist curl into a ball of fury. “Riley love, I can explain it’s not what it seems.” He sputters and takes a step back holding his hands up defensively.

“After everything we’ve been through, how could you?!” She barges in with her voice raised, she pushes Liam so hard he almost stumbles back. “I gave you everything and you go behind my back and cheat on me with some other woman!”

“Cheat? Riley no I would never! Leah is just a friend there’s more to this I swear if you just listen…” SMACK! Riley’s hands immediately connects to Liam’s cheeks before he could finish his sentence.

“Daddy what’s going on?” Theon walks into the foyer after hearing the commotion, he looks frightened and confused. “Daddy who is this?”

Daddy? Riley glances at the boy, who looks exactly like a younger version of her husband. Suddenly she could feel her heart beating rapidly and her head spinning. It was like she way losing the oxygen in her lungs and couldn’t breathe soon after she falls to the floor and everything turns pitch black.

*************************************************

Riley’s eyes slowly fluttered open with a ringing pain in her head. Was it all a dream? A terrible nightmare that she just woke up from? She presses her hand on her forehead and let out a soft groan, she turns to her right a sees a blurry shape of her husbands figure in front of her. “Liam?”

“Riley, love. How had a slight fall and hit your head on the floor.”

“Liam, I had this bad dream. I caught you cheating then we fought and there was this little boy who looked just like you.” She stops when she notices the expression on her husbands face, then it made her realize. “It wasn’t a dream was it?” Her voice starts cracking. “My love, please let me explain.” He pleads reaching for her hand but she swipes it away looking the other way. She couldn’t stand to see him, not if he cheated not if he was going to lie to her again.

“Riley, I didn’t cheat on you. But I have been keeping a secret from you and I’ll explain everything if you’d just look at me and listen.” He said in a tired voice. Riley finally meets his eye looking at him pointedly with her arms crossed. “Then explain and tell me the truth, is that boy your son?”

“Yes he is. Leo had the DNA test done and we had the result yesterday.”

“Leo knew? Who else? Bastien?”

“No. Just Leo.” Liam finally tell Riley the truth about everything that’s been going on, about how he met Theon’s mother a few years before he met her. How she kept Theon a secret from him all those years and that he only found out about him when she passed. He told her why he had to keep the secret from her until he was truly sure what to do with the situation. Riley quietly listen not saying anything after, her expression unreadable. “Love, please say something. I understand if your mad and I don’t expect you to forgive me but I had no choice.”

Riley closes her eyes trying to gather her thoughts before she finally opens them and speaks. “I’m not mad that you had a one night stand all those years ago before we met or that you have a son because of that night. I’m just disappointed and hurt that you couldn’t trust me enough to tell me all of this from the beginning. Did you really think that if I knew about your son that I would ask you to abandon him? Do you really think that low me?”

“Off course not, I think is would never think that of you.” He answers taking her hand in his. “I was just worried about how you would feel, you’ve already been through enough with the press and the whole thing about being unable to produce an heir. I just didn’t want to add to the stress.”

“I’m a grown woman Liam, I can take care of myself and I certainly can handle any truth you throw at me. Yes this information is a lot to process considering how I found out about it.” Never in a million years did she ever think the two of them would be in this position. “But no matter what we’ll get through this together like we always do. Just promise next time no more secrets.”

Liam leans in and kisses Riley on the forehead a slight feeling of relief. “I promise, so where do we go from here?”

“We go back to Cordonia and bring Theon with us.” She answers with a soft smile and Liam’s expression is somewhere between surprised and relieved at the same time. “Are you sure?”

Rileys gives him an assuring nod taking his hand in hers. “Theon deserves to be with his father, he deserves to be with family. With us.”

“Have I ever told you that you are the best wife ever?” He smiles.

Rileys chuckles. “You have but it never gets old. Now, I believe it’s time you introduce me to someone?

*************************************************

Incase anyone wants to be added or removed let me know.

@charliejane-blog @dcbbw @hopefulmoonobject @cmestrella @pixieferry @lodberg @traeumerinwitzhelden @romanticatheart-posts @gnatbrain @the-soot-sprite @texaskitten30 @ao719 @emceesynonymroll @jessiembruno @desiree---1986 @zaffrenotes @kinkykingliam @jlpplays1 @indiacater @fluffy-marshmallow-heart @queenjilian @annekebbphotography @thecordoniandiaries @rainbowsinthestorm @cordonianroyalty @lauradowning29 @msjr0119 @janezillow @heauxplesslydevoted @innerpostmentality @kingliam2019

[willowandfog]

New Fic- Chapter One!

This new fic is the second part to my fic I wrote for InuKag Week, One Week Sooner. If you haven’t read it yet you can read it here.

I would like to dedicate this new fic to @ruddcatha​, she was a huge supporter and a tremendous help to me when writing One Week Sooner, and when we were so choked up on the tragedy of the story she suggested I write a sequel. So a huge thank you @ruddcatha​, I love you!

Summary: When you look at me, do you see what you lost or do you see all of me?

Read it:

FFN or AO3 or below the cut:

Chapter One

Nozomi sighed, dropping her backpack on her desk chair. She tied her long black hair back into a loose tail before throwing herself onto her bed. She glanced at the clock on her desk and groaned. She never had free time anymore, it was always go, go, go. She was grateful that she had finally been able to get into a dorm on campus, driving the twenty minutes home all the time had been a huge hassle. Pulling out her phone she double checked her schedule for the new study group time. She had finally decided to take her science requirement of anatomy even though she was close to graduating. She’d been putting it off as long as she could but couldn’t any longer. Deciding she had to join a study group, knowing that she’d likely fail if not. 

Sighing again, she pushed herself up off the bed. She pulled her textbook from her bag and grabbed her iPad from the desk. She’d be damned if she was going to lug around her whole backpack any more than she had to. With a grumble she left her dorm room, locking the door behind her and set off for the library. 

When she reached the library she took the stairs to the second level where the study rooms were. As she was rounding a corner, she collided with someone as they came around the other side. Nozomi’s book went skidding across the floor and her and the girl she had crashed into both stumbled back. The other girl found her balance but Nozomi did not and found herself on the floor. 

“Oof.” She said when she landed.

“I’m so sorry, are you ok?” 

Nozomi looked up at the girl to see her hand was stretched out to help her up. “Yeah, I’m ok.” She took the offered hand. “Thanks.” Standing up she brushed off her backside before turning back to the girl. Her jaw dropped. In front of her stood her mother. A girl in her early twenties, with long black hair and chocolate eyes, her facial structure was dead on to her late mother. The only differences Nozomi saw were the one streak of silver this girl had in her hair growing from the spot just near her bangs where the hair grew longer, and the golden flecks that seem to be floating in the iris of her left eye. Nozomi stood there gaping at her. She was wearing black yoga pants and a navy blue V-neck shirt, she had a black leather jacket on and was wearing simple black flats, and there was music blaring from the gold Beats that hung around her neck. 

The girl turned to pick up Nozomi’s dropped book. “You’re taking anatomy, that’s cool. My major’s in medicine.” She handed the book out to Nozomi. 

Nozomi froze for a moment, trying to comprehend what the girl had said before taking the book and tucking it in the crook of her arm. “Oh that’s totally awesome. I’m an English major, I’m about to graduate but I’ve just been putting this class off till the last minute.”

The girl chuckled. “Not a fan huh? If you want, I could help you study a bit?”

Nozomi glanced towards the study rooms before looking back at the girl. The girl who looked like her mother. She felt the need to figure this out. “Yeah sure that would be great.” Nozomi held out her hand. “I’m Nozomi.”

The raven haired girl clasped her hand. “Kagome.”

“Holy shit.” Nozomi whispered.

Kagome dropped her hand. “What?”

“Oh sorry. I just meant holy shit, this is so awesome of you. I was going to join a study group, but those can be so hit or miss you can never count on them.”

Kagome chuckled. “I know right. Come on, let’s get out of here, we can grab something at the coffee cart and sit out by the trees.” She walked past Nozomi, heading down the stairs. 

Nozomi followed, pulling out her phone and shooting a text. 

From: Nozomi

10:13 AM

Hey, dad. I’m gonna have to cancel lunch today, got a lot of studying to do. 

From: Dad

10:15 AM

Ok. No problem. Reschedule for tomorrow?

From: Nozomi

10:16 AM

Can’t tomorrow, paper due.

From: Dad

10:17 AM

Oooook. Next week then?

From: Nozomi

10:19 AM

I will probably have a lot of papers to help grade next week, there’s a big test for the class I’m helping with coming up. 

From: Dad

10:19 AM

:( Just let me know when.

From: Nozomi

10:20 AM

I will. Love you!

“Everything ok?” Kagome asked, nodding to Nozomi’s phone and her repeated texting.

“Oh. Yeah, totally. I was just cancelling lunch with my dad so I could get some studying done.” She tucked her phone into her back pocket, looking to see if the guy making their lattes was almost done. 

“Are you guys close?” Kagome asked, turning to watch her. 

“Yeah, definitely. He comes to campus and we have lunch together every week. He was all I had growing up, I never knew my mom. Well I mean I had my grandparents but… Yeah dad and I are close.” Nozomi shifted her eyes away. “Sorry, I ramble when I’m nervous.”

Kagome laughed, reaching up to grab her hazelnut latte that the coffee guy had set on the cart for her. “Why are you nervous?”

“Just, uhh. You know, meeting new people. Can be difficult sometimes.”

Kagome nodded in agreement. “So true.” Both girls turned as Nozomi grabbed her cup and they made their way to the lawn. “I don’t really know anyone on campus. Honestly I don’t really know many people around here, I transferred here last semester as a trial to see how I liked the school. I’ve been thinking of going back to the one I was at before.”

“No!” Nozomi practically shouted at her. When Kagome turned wide eyes to her she spoke again. “I mean, you should give this school a longer chance. It’s really great here, I’m actually a student teacher. I mean if your only reason for leaving is the lack of getting to know anyone, I’ll show you around and we can hang out. I haven’t really had much time for friends myself, it would be nice to have some girl time.” 

Kagome glanced at her with an amused look. “Sure, that could be nice. I guess some girl time never hurt anyone.”

They found a nice shady spot under a tree, and planted themselves down into the grass. They sat chatting and enjoying their coffees for a little while before Nozomi pulled out her book, handing it to Kagome to look over what material they were covering and opened up Goodnotes on her iPad. They had been going through the chapter for about an hour when Nozomi sighed. 

“Geez this stuff is tedious, I don’t know how you do it.” She set her iPad down, needing a break. When she looked up she spotted a man with silver hair, walking across the pavilion towards them.

“Oh shit, that’s my dad.”

Kagome turned her head to look in the direction Nozomi was. “Th-that’s your dad?” Her voice was a whisper.

Nozomi paled, before jumping to her feet. “Yeah, he must’ve been suspicious that I blew him off. Oh God.” She whispered the last words before jogging off to meet him partway. 

As she approached her dad she began to feel sick. He’s totally going to freak. Oh my God. He had long silver hair that flowed down his back, and was wearing a black t-shirt and jeans, his head was adorned with two doggie ears that marked him as a half-demon. He did not look pleased.

“Dad!” Nozomi called as she got closer. “What are you doing here? I said I was stuck studying.” She stopped in front of him, trying to block Kagome from view even though she knew it was pointless, he could easily see over her, with his towering 6’. 

“You were being all weird and evasive and you’ve only ever cancelled lunch once before and we rescheduled for the next day. Unlike this time. What's going on?”

“Nothing’s going on, my schedule just became really busy.” She tried to keep her voice calm, but noticed her dad was sniffing at the air. 

“Riiiight.” He mumbled. “What is that smell?” He walked around her, heading for the tree Nozomi had been sitting under. Kagome was gone.

Oh, thank God. But where did she go? Nozomi looked around, seeing if she could spot her anywhere. Nothing. Man, I didn’t even get her number.

She jogged over to the tree where her book and iPad lay. Her father was sniffing a pair of Beat headphones. Nozomi reached for them. “Oh! Those are Kago-” She went wide eyed. “I mean those are my friends. She must have left them.”

Her dad glared at her, pulling the headphones out of reach from her. “What was her name?”

Nozomi shifted her brown eyes away from his golden ones. “Kag.” She mumbled. 

“Kag? Her name is Kag?” Nozomi nodded. “Nozomi dear. You are a horrible liar. Why were you trying to hide this, what is going on?”

She sighed. “Oh dad.” She spoke with sadness in her voice before stepping forward to hug him. “Why don’t you catch up with her and give those back.” She stepped away from him and pointed at the headphones. “But dad, you should know. It’s mom. The girl said her name was Kagome, and she looks exactly like her. Like exactly like mom.”

Her dad paled. “What?” He whispered. “That’s crazy.” 

“You can go find her and see for yourself. Just… Be careful. I never knew mom so I can’t say for sure that it is her. If it is her then she hasn’t aged at all or something else weird is going on.”

Her dad sniffed the headphones one more time, before taking off in a direction towards the buildings. 

-------------------------------------------------------

Kagome jogged along the side of the library and as she approached the end of the building, she slowed down slightly. She turned, going behind the building before stopping to lean her back to the wall, trying to catch her breath. Her heart was racing and not from the jog. She covered her face with her hands. 

Holy shit. Oh my god! Oh my god!

She pressed fingers to her eyes, trying to fight the tears. 

She pushed away from the wall and began walking, heading for the other side of the building so she could cut across campus. She felt like she was in a daze. 

I can’t believe this is happening.

She was so lost in thought that when she came around the corner, she didn’t notice the man coming around the other way until it was too late. She felt like she’d run into a wall.

“Oof.” She stumbled back, starting to fall, she waved her arms trying to catch herself when a hand grabbed her wrist, pulling her back up. She was pulled back into the brick wall and was suddenly staring into the most gorgeous face and golden-honey eyes. 

He had one arm wrapped around her waist, holding her to his chest. A look of shock and disbelief on his face. “Kagome?” He whispered. 

She was lost in his eyes. Her brain felt foggy and all her previous thoughts were gone. 

Kagome, say something. He’s talking to you. Say something, anything. 

"You're gorgeous." She could've slapped herself. 

When he busted out into a huge grin, she bit her lip feeling ridiculous. She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that… Outloud.” She opened her eyes to look at him again. 

She could tell he was trying to fight his grin for her sake. “Do you.” He started to say. “Do you recognize me?” When Kagome shook her head, he closed his eyes tightly for a moment. “Are you sure?” 

“Should I?” She asked.

He opened his eyes to look at her again. He studied her for a moment. Seeming to take his time taking in all of her features. “Do you think you’d like to go out with me sometime?”

“What?” She whispered, astonished. 

“Like a date. Would you be willing to go on a date with me sometime?”

Realizing she was still wrapped in his arm against his chest, she cleared her throat and stepped away from him. “You don’t even know me.” She glanced away, trying to avoid his eyes. 

“I think the point of a date is to get to know each other.” 

She studied him for a moment. “I think I’d like that. But, I need to check my schedule. How about you give me your number and I’ll let you know when I’m free.” She pulled her phone from her pocket, turning it over to him to put his number in. It was then that she noticed her headphones in his hand. “Are those mine?” She asked pointing. 

“Oh! Yeah, here.” He handed them to her with one hand as he took her phone with the other. “Sorry, I came to find you to give them back and totally forgot when we collided.” 

When he handed the phone back, she tucked it into her pocket. Then against her better judgment she stuck out her hand. “I’m Kagome.” As she spoke she stared into his pools of amber. She saw a flicker in his eyes at her name. 

He took her hand in a gentle grip. Her heart fluttering at his touch. “Inuyasha.”

“Nozomi’s dad. That’s not going to be weird at all.” 

Inuyasha closed his eyes briefly. “I hope that won’t be a problem.”

“You’re not secretly like a five hundred year old man too are you?” 

He chuckled. “No. I was born in this century.” 

“Reassuring.” She rolled her eyes, before turning them to their clasped hands. She slowly pulled it away, running her fingers along his. “I should go. It was...nice meeting you.” She put her headphones on over her ears, eyes never leaving his. She hit play on her watch and Eminem’s Mockingbird came blaring through. Inuyasha frowned at the volume before Kagome took off at a jog. 

Kagome jogged the whole fifteen minutes home. She barely slowed for lights, letting the music consume her until she could reach her apartment. When she reached her small brick complex, she almost sobbed. She took the stairs up to her apartment two at a time, stopping briefly to unlock the door before slamming it behind her and sliding her back down it to the floor. She yanked her headphones off and tossed them to the floor, tears beginning to fall. 

[spideyrights]

Partners (Series) - Detective Loki x Reader

VI. DINNER DATE

series masterlist 

“Is it alright if I head out early? Do you need me for anything?” You turn to Loki who’s attention shifts from his computer screen to you with furrowed brows and attentive gaze.

“Um, no, you can go. Any particular reason?” You hesitate on your answer as you stand, adjusting your blazer and grabbing your coat and scarf, pulling them on in hopes of resisting the sharp, icy breeze.

“Actually yes...I’m going on a date!”

“Oh..., um, with-with who?”

“The only guy I know in this godforsaken town. My mother called me and told me he lives here now, she gave him my number and hey presto he asked me on a date.” you spoke smiling, bouncing on your feet softly with excitement coursing through you. Safe to say you hadn’t been on a date in a long time so you were finally looking forward to having something company. Company that isn’t your partner of course.

Loki looked at you hesitantly, lips parted as if about to say something before he pressed them shut firmly, stopping himself. “That’s real nice. You enjoy yourself,” he spoke quickly, turning back to his computer screen in one swift motion. The response made you pout. Loki seemed disinterested which you’d expect but you also sensed a hint of irritation in his tone that you couldn’t quite make sense of. 

“You sure everything’s okay? I don’t have to go if you need me around, I barely even know the guy, cancelling wouldn’t be heartbreaking.” you offered, stepping closer to him despite him still having his back turned on you. 

“No, you go have your fun just...where are you gonna be? In case something critical happens and, you know, I need to...come interrupt your, um, date,” he says, emphasising the word date with a kind of disgust that makes you roll your eyes. He isn’t even pretending to be working now, he keeps his face turned away from you but stares blankly ahead. 

“That restaurant across from the coffee place you went to the other day, you know the Thai one?”

“Oh yeah, yeah, sounds good. So...” He finally turns to face you and this time with a forced smile, less evident disgruntlement. 

“So...?”

“So have fun.”

“Thanks! Remember I’m on my phone if you need.” 

Thus far you’d been having a pleasant night. You enjoyed the feeling of putting on a nice dress and a bit of makeup, a stark contrast to the typical dress shirt and suit skirt or trousers you’d worn day in day out, and having a nice boy come knock on your apartment door with a bunch of flowers, not that there was anything wrong with when Loki would show up in the mornings outside your apartment complex and alert you he was here with an extended honk of his car horn. Essentially you felt you were finally living a more glamorous parallel of your day-to-day life and the man sitting across from you, Jacob, was a great distraction from the case that you just couldn’t seem to tear your mind from.

“Yeah, I’m just trying my best but this case is pretty intense,” you mumble, suddenly becoming conscious of the fact that you’d been going on and on about your job since you’d gotten to the restaurant, clearly a testament to where your mind was at. “But anyway, enough about me, I wanna hear about what you do.” You listened to him intently whilst you picked at the food that had arrived not too long ago. “But yeah moving here was certainly-” He halted mid sentence making your eyes wander in the direction his attention had shifted to. Your eyes widened immediately upon seeing Loki arguing with the staff member in charge of reservations at the front of the restaurant and pointing in the direction of your table, clearly confusing your date.

“Oh no,” you mumbled, watching Loki push past the growing group of staff members at the front, badge in hand and drawing quite a bit of attention now. You turned back to Jacob, sending him apologetic eyes before standing to meet Loki, who was now fast approaching your table, at eye level. 

You sent him a look which in itself said ‘what are you doing here?!’ once he’d halted in front of you. “Detective, I’m sorry to interrupt but something important came up and we really gotta go.” His eyes moved from yours to your date, raising a hand apologetically though there was definitely an ingenuity in his actions that you could pick out.

“We’re kind of on a date here,” Jamie laughs awkwardly, trying to conceal his obvious annoyance. “I’m Detective Loki, her partner and I’m sorry to interrupt, truly,” He directs that last part at you with a look though his tone is coldly condescending to your date along with the hand he extends which Jamie takes hesitantly before Loki tugs down in a harsh handshake. “But I have some pretty important work to be done with (Y/N) here so if you don’t mind...”

You exhale softly, mouthing a ‘sorry’ to Jamie before pressing a kiss to his cheek - which you swear you saw Loki recoil in disgust at - and telling him you’ll call him and reschedule once this case is over. Loki begins to leave the restaurant, eyes from other diners still on him, and you instinctively trail behind. 

“You look nice,” he comments, not even glancing in your direction as you stumble beside him, trying to match his pace whilst simultaneously pulling your coat on. “Would you care to tell me what the big emergency is?”

He says nothing, simply crossing over to the driver’s side of the car and stepping in. You grunt quietly in frustration kicking your heel to the ground with force before following suit and seating yourself in the passenger sight with disgruntlement evident in your body language.

“I just stopped by Mrs Dover’s because she claims someone broke in. Escaped through the window and all,” he finally speaks though you’re concerned by the almost deadpan tone and expression his ‘urgent’ news takes.

“I’m guessing you then need me because you believe her and have some idea who this might be or a lead for us to work on...” you said, the reasonable tone in your voice gradually depleting. Loki wouldn’t lie about an urgent case break, there obviously had to be more to this.

“Um...no.” Your head shot up, turning to him immediately.

“No? I thought this was urgent. Like we have to go chase this bad guy now urgent.”

“Aren’t all aspects of this investigation important?” he speaks with a hint of sarcasm and teasing in his voice but you’re not exactly in the mood to find this amusing. You loved your work of course but you did feel like you needed a night away from this case to clear your mind. Unlike Loki you couldn’t run on caffeine and determination. You admittedly didn't mind being back in his company however. 

You reached over, shoving a hand into Loki’s jacket pocket, clearly alarming him as he half-heartedly tries to shuffle away. Opening it and finding one poorly detailed scrawl you grow more confused. “Loki you have one note in your notebook, no leads and no evidence. Plus I’m quite sure that woman is barely sleeping or eating, not to suggest anything about her information but...this is not urgent.”

“Well she also told me about the thing about Keller being out with the police when he’s not,” he spoke matter-of-factly, as if this was greater evidence in his favour. 

“So what you already knew?” you retorted with a shake of your head. Loki pauses, you can tell he’s thinking of more to say but your only focus is on why he’s going through so much of an effort. It couldn’t be because-

“I noticed in Keller’s basement he was missing like half a bag of Lye. I think that gives us grounds to investigate Keller.”

“That’s something at least,” you sigh, falling back into the seat in defeat. “But now you’re driving me back to the office, away from my date even though we have nothing to do.”

“We have plenty to do. We need to figure out where Keller is going.”

You pause, eyes fixed on Loki who remains focused on the road ahead despite being stuck in heavy traffic and having nowhere to go. You finally choose to spit out the question lingering wordlessly in the air. “Why did you do that?”

“What?”

“You know what? Interrupt my date with something you know isn’t urgent. I know you’re not an idiot.”

“Well thank you.”

“Don’t avoid my question.”

Loki exhales, shuffling in his seat slightly. You can’t tell whether the discomfort is physical or emotional. With him probably both. “No reason, I just thought I should tell you what I found out.”

“David.” 

“I let you say my name which was a kind gesture, there’s no need to say it like that.” You say nothing in response. He’s being defensive and guarded and joking around more than usual which you, piecing together with your expert detective skills, pointed to one obvious reason.  “If you didn’t want me to go on the date you could have just told me.”

“Why wouldn’t I want you to go on the date?” he scoffs with a crinkle of his brows and upturned lips in an expression of disbelief. You don’t even think he knows the answer to that question himself. 

“That’s what I want to know.” You notice how his jaw tenses and his eyes darken slightly, all other expression dropping from his face instantaneously and the humour he once had flowing freely quickly dissipating. You don’t know what had just happened. 

“Just drop it, okay?”

“No”

“(Y/N)”

“Whatever.” You cross your arms over your chest, your attention falling to the view flying by as the car speeds through the now empty country roads. The blur of trees and wet soil isn’t enough to distract you from the word feeling stirring in your stomach. You should be mad at Loki and you should be wishing you were on your date, but you’re not. Strange. 

“Okay, come on, don’t be like that,” Loki reasons, finally diverting his gaze from the road to in your direction every few seconds to notice your apparent anger. “I can order you Thai food and...light a fucking candle on our desk, huh? Is that better?”

The gesture makes you smile softly though you try to hide it, knowing he would be way too easily victorious if you agreed immediately. “Sounds great except you’re not the person I’m supposed to be on a date with.” He pauses. 

“I’d like to think I’m a worthy alternative.”

Your gaze turns back to him having noted his cheeky tone and, unable to hide the smile of your face, you finally meet his eyes. “Mhm, just about.”

You hovered by the front of the precinct, awaiting yours and Loki’s Thai food delivery driver. It was freezing outside but you’d volunteered to be the one to take the outside shift of picking up the food whilst Loki got the utensils just because he picked up the food last time. Also the fact that you knew Loki didn’t wrap up when he went outside to wait for the food insisting it ‘would only be a few minutes in the cold’ and you would hate to see him fall ill and miss work so you felt this was the better option. You, unlike your counterpart, were wrapped up in a cardigan and a coat, rubbing your faux leather gloved hands together to create some kind of warmth.

“Detective (Y/L/N)!” You turned in the direction of the friendly voice only to see the officer who had offered you his coat a week back now with his stuff in his hand, clearly heading home, as were most of the others bar you and Loki. “Don’t tell me you and Loki are pulling another last night.” “I’m afraid we are, Officer. I’m waiting on our Thai food delivery right now.” He smirks, his eyebrows raising which makes an expression of confusion wash over your own face. “What?” “Nothing, nothing. Just...you and Loki...spending a lot of nights here together,” he says, enunciating in a way that should make you catch on to what he’s implying but your own naivety makes you miss it completely. “All I’m going to say is that the talk of the precinct is how you gave Loki the first hug he might have had in his entire life the other day.”

Your eyes widen and cheeks warm despite the cold, slightly embarrassed. You didn’t know anyone had seen that. “I’d like to say we’re friends,” you mumble, picking at your gloves which only makes his smile grow, noting your almost schoolgirl like shyness. “I mean of course we spend time together, we’re working a very important case together.”

“Oh I know, Detective, I’m just saying...” he pauses but you raise your eyebrows and step forward, gesturing for him to continue. “It’s like the guy is walking on sunshine or something. It’s magic that I can even hear his voice in the precinct let alone a laugh, strained as it may be. And, well, it’s always because of you.”

You don’t know what to say. You’re almost stunned into silence. Sure you knew Loki was renowned for being the grumpy type and sure, you may have noted that your relationship was more pleasant than it initially had been but...others were noticing too? 

“If that’s Loki walking on sunshine I’d hate to see what he’s like on a bad day,” you joked, trying to ease the tension and discomfort of the conversation. 

“Sweetheart, we’ve all seen the bad days but he hasn’t had a bad day since you got here. That’s saying something.” You’re startled out of the conversation by the delivery driver riding into the station so you make a soft jog to meet him halfway and grab your food, paying and trying to hurry into the station to avoid further conversation about Loki.

“See you tomorrow, Officer.” “Enjoy your date, Detective.” “It’s not a date!”

“Sure it’s not,” he chuckles softly but by then you’re half running back to your cubicle to avoid hearing it. Placing the food down, the noise alerts Loki of your presence and he turns to you, his brows furrowing as soon as he takes in your appearance. “You okay?” “What? Um, yeah,” you mutter, pulling off your winter wear and trying to act casual. “Anyway, Keller.” Your attempt to change the subject works successfully as Loki’s expression transitions into focus. 

“Yeah, Keller. I think we should trail him. See where he goes. Whether it’s Jones or the girls, he’s doing some shady shit for sure.” Loki focuses on pulling the various boxes of food out of the bag, checking their labels, seeming to look for something in particular. “Here, I ordered that noodle thing you like.”

He hands it to you, not looking at you, his eyes still fixed on the food he unpacks but you smile adoringly at him, even if it goes unnoticed. Probably better if it goes unnoticed. “Thanks,” you mumble, a hint of smile in your voice and it makes his eyes dart to you for just a moment with a tight-lipped smile and flushed cheeks.

“I think I should go see the Birch family. There’s no need for both of us to follower Keller, it might just make things more suspicious.” Loki looks at you inquisitively before nodding slowly, hesitantly agreeing. “Um, sure, I guess but what are you gonna do with the Birches?”

“Talk to them. They probably need it.” Loki blinks harshly, the twitch returning and he drops his head, almost like he doesn’t want you to see it which only brings a frown to your face. “We’re coming up to a week missing,” he says, indicating to you how that stress twitch might have come about.

“I know.” There’s silence after that. The harsh impact of reality falling between the two of you, a heavy burden to carry. You both pick at your food, unnerved by the thought but it’s silent still, much easier to swallow when unspoken. 

David: Keller’s on the move, good time to hit the Birches

You skim through the message, finally rolling your car up from a few yards away from the house - what you and Loki had deemed a safe distance in case Keller saw you and caught on - to the front of the house, stepping out. You quickly pulled your phone back out, typing a short but sweet response.

You: Thanks, I’m heading in. Stay safe :)

Your phone buzzed only a few seconds after. 

David: Always 

You shut your phone off just as you approached the door, raising your hand up to knock on it but it opens before you can. You’re met by the face of Eliza Birch, the teen daughter. “Hey, sweetheart, are your parents home?” She looks at you somewhat hesitantly through the small amount she’s pulled the door open, just enough for her head to peak through comfortably, though her body language is less tense from the softness of your tone. “No.”

“You mind if I come in anyway? I can show you my badge-”

“I know who you are, it’s fine,” she mumbles, pulling open the door to let you pass through which you respond to with an appreciative smile. 

“So you have any idea where your parents are?” You walk through the house slowly, taking in your surroundings. The house is almost too perfectly suburban for you to believe it’s been hit by such tragedy. Pictures are littered around of the happy family, many with young Joy in them, with little ornaments, some you can tell are handmaid child’s crafts, dotted around the household. You finally enter the living room, seating yourself down on an armchair just as she seats herself on the couch.

“I don’t know. Dad started going out on the searches and now mom does too.” She’s nervous, clearly. She tugs at the sleeves of her sweater, pulling them down over her wrists and she watches her own feet kick together, rubbing against the carpet.

“You don't go with them? You stay here?” She nods. She doesn’t nod eagerly. She nods rather solemnly. 

“You mind if I take a look at your sister’s room?” She seems to agree in that she stands without speaking, leading you upstairs to the bedroom. The room is perfect for a girl like Joy. It’s beautifully decorated with an assortment of her interests; princesses, sports and animals. It makes your lips turn up in a kind of sad smile. This expression soon drops however when you notice one of her drawers left slightly ajar.

“Have you guys been in here since Joy was gone?”

“Not really. A couple times here and there on the first day but after that not really.” 

You pull the sleeve of your sweater over your hand and use the covered palm to pull open the drawer slightly more. You notice Eliza shift behind you, presumably to see what you’re doing but you try and block her view with your body. The drawer is a mess. Her clothes are haphazardly scattered all over the drawer, lacking in the neat folds and orderly fashion you could see present in every other aspect of the room. You pulled open the drawer below. It was in pristine condition, untouched and what you expected this other drawer looked like before someone messed with it. You shut both of them, trying to maintain a cool and calm facade.

“What were you and your parents doing last night? Around 8pm?” you ask, pretending to look around the rest of the room like you hadn’t already found what you were looking for.

“What the hell? You’re accusing us-”

“No, Miss Birch, that’s not what I’m doing. I just need to make sure you and your family are safe at all times during this investigation. Think of it like a routine check. You’re not under suspicion of anything.”

She looks like she doesn’t believe you. You don’t like disappointing people but you can hear Loki’s voice in your head telling you to push past being courteous and try and get some real answers. You raise your eyebrows at her, making clear your question still stands.

“My parents were out searching, I was home.”

If she was home she would have heard someone break in surely. If it was the same person that hit the Dovers then she might have heard and reported it like Mrs Dover, you thought. “And what were you doing? A vague idea for around that time.”

“I don’t know...I was on the phone with Ralph for a while. I had a bath. Not exciting.” You nod, your eyes fixing on her and it seems to make her nervous. It would make sense for her to not hear an intrusion, it would also make sense for Ralph to have not heard also. 

You’re interrupted by the buzzing of your phone.

David: Keller spotted me and flipped, he’s walking home and he’s drunk so get out of there before he spots your car or something. 

You slip your phone into your back pocket, immediately walking past Eliza and back down the stairs. “Thank you so much for your help, Eliza. If you or your family need anything, I promise I can help, day or night.”

You hover by the door, ready to leave but not before you hand her your card and she scoffs slightly. “I didn’t know police officer actually cared.”

“The good ones do,” you smile slightly and she nods with a quirk of her lips. “Plus I’m new. I’m sure I’ll stop caring in ten years.” This causes her to crack a real smile and what sounds like half a laugh passes through her lips and she shoves the card in her pocket which seems to you like success.

You hurry across the lawn stepping into your car and retrieving your car as you start the engine.

You: Anything good?

David: Not quite. You?

You: Not quite.

David: See you back at the station.

You: Race you there.

David: You’re annoying.

You exhale a soft laugh at the text, setting off before Keller can catch sight of you and have an outburst at you too. Once you’re back at the station you notice Loki already in his cubicle, scrolling through something on his computer with focused eyes. Upon seeing you return to your desk he does a double take before a ghost of a smile graces his lips. “Beat you.”

“I don’t think calling me annoying counts as agreeing to a race.”

You don’t bother seating yourself in your own chair, instead you linger behind him, one hand on the back of his chair and one hand beside his which lays on the mouse as you read the article he reads. “Oh shit, this Keller?”

Your heart drops reading about his father, his father’s suicide and him discovering the body. Though your eyes perk up when you spot an address. 

“234 Campello Street,” you both say aloud making you turn to look at each other at the same time. You notice how close your faces are and you hover in that position a moment before you turn back to the screen despite having nothing else to read. You notice how his eyes stay on you a few moments more before he leans back in his seat with an exhale.

“Guess I know where we’re heading next.”

tags: @mother-dearest-loves-me  @mariamermaid  @vigilanteavengerqueen   @superheroforrent  @peterbxrnes   @igotanaddixon  @blablasomethingblabla  @cafeaufeels   @montypythonsholysnail  @carolines24   @chimera4plums   @oswald-1998  @iv-nyc 

[kyberphilosopher]

Chapter Fourteen

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

His hair is a deep chestnut shade of brown. It looks fluffy, soft. His light skin looks smooth, even from my distance. His jaw is sharp, his cheeks strong. A playful smile lies on his pink lips. Everything about his features- no, about him- is soft. That’s the best word I can think of to describe him.

But I can feel the strength falling off of him. It peels off of his robes. They’re like a normal Jedi’s, but tighter at the sleeves, covered by a poncho, and darker in color. He feels different from all the Jedi I previously killed. He’s strong. Soft, but strong.

Tiredly, I shift my feet to show where my attention lies, eyes narrowing to begin my assessment of this visitor. Male, stocky build. Taller than me by a lot, but average for a man. My age. Slightly older? Slightly relaxed form. He watches me just as closely as I watch him. So he’s observant.

His eyes scan over the lightsabers at my sides, eyes lingering longer on the one with the red blade.

“Nowhere,” I say, almost hoarsely. My right hand is starting to go numb again, and I can feel a big, thick drop of blood fall from my half a finger. “Don’t worry, I won’t go too far,” I tell the stranger, even though I’m really not in the mood for a sarcasm contest right now.

“Oh, that’s good,” the stranger bends his knees and angles his violet light defensively. “I would so hate it if you missed this dance.”

Oh, man. He’s kind of quip-y. Killing him won’t be as satisfying as it would’ve been if he was all serious. “We can be honest with each other, right?” He shrugs. “Can we please reschedule this for tomorrow?”

  He smiles. It makes his eyes squint and twinkle. It looks nice on him. “Tired from killing the other two, are we?”

Has someone been watching me? Following me, even? No, I would’ve known. I would’ve sensed it. Perhaps he witnessed the fight between Aegus and Yutaro- it was possible I didn’t notice because my focus was elsewhere. Who is this guy?

“What would your mother say?”

I don’t know what it was about his statement that set me off. I just know that it did.  

I throw my hand out, letting my hate and exhaustion fuel the lightning that falls out. It wipes the smile right off his face as it cages him, throwing him backwards and out of my vision for an instant.

Then, I remove the red saber off my belt. I twist it between my palm to get a feel of it again, and run forward. It’s not as fast as it could be, but I am tired. My finger needs medical attention.  

I thrust the red lightsaber into the boy’s shoulder. It nicks him, but he offers little more than a wince in response. He blocks my next strike. I put more pressure on it, forcing our lightsabers closer to his face. He doesn’t back down, however. He is determined to show me that my rageful exhaustion is no match for his physical strength. We’ll see about that.

Right as I’m about to kill him, something grabs my attention to the left. Not the sun-but a light! No, two of them! Two bright, beautiful balls of crystal clear light.

A shot blows me back. My lightsaber comes to a close as I tumble in the dirt for about the third time today. The cold mud and twigs make the cuts on my hands and temple sting even more- not a good sign. My right ear hears a long, drawn out scratching noise like a saw. Then it fades off like a hum and is replaced with a high-pitched ringing, followed by complete silence. My left ear continues to throb lowly with the beat of my heart, which changes between too fast and too slow. When my body finally stops rolling and stills itself, I can feel a droplet of either sweat or blood run down the right side of my neck. My eyes burn from the dirt that’s undoubtedly in them.

I lie still for a moment, wiped out and exhausted. I’m not dying, the galaxy would never be so kind. What happens next is just like falling asleep. Slowly becoming darker and darker, my vision goes black, and I feel warm.

When I was thirteen, I made an attempt to draw my father from memory. I had only drawn a few times prior to this, mostly out of sheer boredom. I want to say that they came out well, but I don’t have anything to compare my works to. Being on the run your whole life doesn’t lend much time for art museums.

I had no memories of my father whatsoever. I looked into a glass shard from a mirror and attempted to make my own features look more masculine. I don’t know how long it took me to sketch him, but finally I was finished.

In my version of my father, he has dark hair. He looks young, with eyes slanted upwards. I imagine they have hazel flecks, lined with gold and just the slightest hint of deep green. His eyes are framed by thick, dark eyebrows- straight and clean. Under his orbs are dark circles like smudged makeup, similar to my own. His nose is narrower than mine, but splashed with tope freckles all the same. We have the same olive skin and similar chins. His jaw is sharper than mine. His lips are chapped, but curled up at the ends like a smirk. Still, he frowns. I can not make him smile.

My father was very handsome. His name is Kaito Vagor, which in another galaxy translates to “the flight over the sea” and “I wander”, which I think is beautiful. In my mind, he is quiet. He thinks things through, just like me. He knows how to take initiative, believes in facts over feelings but never ignores his gut. Although I’d never met him, I loved the picture of my father, which ended up being completely accurate. I loved him so much, I begged him to be dead. I begged him to be dead so I’d feel like there was a reason I’d grown up without him. But cruelly, no matter how much I prayed and wished, Kaito was alive. I wouldn’t know it in my lifetime, but he was alive.

I couldn’t bring myself to draw my mother. I was too busy trying not to wail at the loss of my father, who I loved dearly despite the rage I’d obtained over the years. After that day, I had no idea where the drawing went. I might’ve destroyed it in my sleep, or lost it on purpose without even realizing.

Now, as I sleep, I think of the image of my father again. I think of nothing else. I see him smiling down at me calmly- on birthdays, cooking me meals in a small hut, training me how to better use a spear. In that life, I am happy. I am content with just Kaito, and I know how to trust people. There is no Clone with the yellow stripe. No Haxion Brood. No Imperial Inquisitors. And, most importantly, there are ten fingers.

I bolt upright at this realization.

I’m alive. My breathing feels thin, but not impossible. My chest is not nearly as sore as I expected, so I decide to count it as a good thing. Still, it rises and falls rapidly as I struggle not to cough on my own breath. My head thrums will a slow, dull pain that makes me wish I had just stayed still. Once I regain my sense of thought, I look around, eyes wide as my heart hammers.  

The floor below me is the same stark white color, matching the bed and the walls. It looks like the inside of a ship, I think. I don’t sense danger, but I wouldn’t be surprised if my entire sense of survival were thrown off. I’m atop a cushioned bench, with a firm, small pillow where my head was. The only pop of color in the room is a slim bunch of yellow flowers, sitting in a pale gray vase.

Breathe, Keres. Softly.

My boots are missing from my feet. Instead, light colored gauze wraps around my ankles and stops before it reaches my toes. I wiggle them playfully, watching each duck and weave up and down on my command. It makes me feel childish, but secure that I at least have one part of my body still working for me. Unlike my fingers, there are ten of them. My hands and forearms are wrapped in a matching gauze, contrasting the normal gray gauze that works as my undergarments for my dark, sleek, armor. Replacing said armor is a beige kind of altered Jedi’s robes like the one with the purple lightsaber wore. The normal weight from a lightsaber doesn’t hang on my hips, and when I move my hand to the area I find nothing but air. I’m too tired and groggy to feel frustrated about it.

Brushing hair out of my face, I notice my hair is still in it’s braid, however messy it may be. The palm of my hands are flecked with pink scars, and a few bright red cuts from all my forest fumbles. Some are better healed than others, but none of them sting like they did. My right hand is just as I’d left it, confirming my worst fear. The fear that it was all real.

My right ring finger is gone. There is nothing from my knuckle up, and instead it is only a stump with more gauze wrapped tight around it. I stare at it. My eyes water quickly. I bite my lip to keep it from trembling, but this it to no avail.

I deserved it. I deserved to lose my finger.

I push myself off the bed angrily. My feet feel cold on the floor, but I don’t register it. When I stand up completely, something in my rib pops. This makes me stop for a second before carrying on in haste.

Clothes. I need my clothes. Where the kriff are my clothes?

Somewhere to the right of me, the familiar hiss of a door opening rings out. I snap my head up.  

 A Togruta with wet looking red skin appears in front of me. White diamonds surround her eyes, and smaller diamond markings appears across her cheekbones. Her lips are full but not too full, and her pale green eyes are framed by long, soft eyelashes. Her horns aren’t stubby, but neither tall nor sky high. It gives away her age- teens, possibly nearing twenties. She is dressed in a loose brown tunic, covered by a white, stained medical smock. Everything about her appearance is regal, elegant, and objectively beautiful.

“Oh!” she squeaks, one hand covering her chest as she gathers her breath. “You’re up!”

I remain quiet as I meet her eyes. The Togruta shifts a clipboard in her arms and puts it on a shelf behind her. “I’ll be right back with some medicine. Stay right here!” She hurries off and out the door again.

I immediately disobey what she’s asked of me. Fuck her. I take a single step forward and stumble for a moment. My feet adjust to the freezing floor after a second, and in short, quick steps I make my way out of the room. The next area I stumble into is circular, and bustling with at least ten people- I can’t count them all. My eyes squint to adjust to the new light, but my right ear remains unadapting and silent. A few feet ahead of me, I can see the back of what I believe to be the Jedi.

He overlooks a round holo-table displaying a blue hologram I can’t completely make out. Two other people in helmets observe the table with him, nodding and occasionally opening their mouths. After a simultaneous nod from them, they head off to their right, down a hallway. The Jedi meets my eyes from across the way. Then he stands still.  

I hate him. This is his fault. It’s always the Jedi’s fault.

A few people in the room pause to glance at me, creating a look of disgust on my face I don’t even try to hide. I am angry at them. I want them to know how angry I am. No one dares to  chuckle before conversations start again. The Jedi crosses his arms and looks at me as if he’s bested me at something, or proved himself. Jokes on him though, because he’s vastly overestimated how much I care or am willing to care. 

“Oh, you’re… up again!” The Togruta appears with her arms full of cloth. Is that my boot? On top of them are several small bottles and a single syringe. “I just went to bring you your clothes and some medicine. I didn’t think you would be ready to walk so soon.”

I eye the scene suspiciously. I’m definitely on a ship of some sort, most likely no longer on Endor. There are a lot of people on this ship, but for what purpose? And why is a Jedi involved? Don’t speak, Keres. The way he’s looking at me, he’ll just pull a ‘Keres’ and ironically evade whatever you ask him.

I hold out my hands for my clothes, to which the Togruta pours them into my arms while trying to maintain a polite smile.  

There is silence between the two of us as I pretend to be very interested in my black and gray outfit and boots. “So,” the Togruta sighs with another smile. “What should we call you?”

I quickly bend over slightly to slip one of my boots on. These people don’t get to know my name.

  “I’m Aheka. Aheka Shyn. And you’ve already met Adamus…”

I crane my head up to look at the Jedi. His hair is just as brown and soft looking as before, though his jaw is flexing and tightening as he peers at me from across the room. I can feel eyes continue to watch me as I stuff my other foot into the other shoe. He sure knows how to spark my annoyance, I’ll give him that. He’s sparked it so much, I can feel myself tensing up in a new and intense way.  

“He’s not so bad,” Aheka continues. “I know you guys didn’t really get off on the right foot, but-”

“Adamus is responsible for the kriffing ringing in my ear then,” I snap. “So he is that bad.”

Aheka swallows, eyes widening. “I-I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to offend…”

“Aheka. That’s enough,” another voice commands. I drop my gaze back to my boots, chewing on my bottom lip as I hear footsteps come closer. “I’ll take care of this,” the male voice says.

I watch Aheka’s shoes step away briskly and disappear behind another door and hallway. The ship must be awfully large to have so many of them. The only thing I have to think about then is which of those hallways will take me to escape pods. 

“A bit rude, wouldn’t you say?” he starts. “Exploding over such a valid question?”

I dare not speak for fear the poison that comes from it will make a hole in the floor.

“Did you hear what she asked?”

“I heard it,” I hiss, attempting to keep my cool. “I just choose not to answer it.”

Adamus looks me up and down. Not in a flirtatious way, but a way that gives him a good observation. Is he analyzing me? He must be, somewhat. I don’t like it. He might find some flaw in my stance or my balance. I stand up straight, forcing myself to meet his eyes in a way that signifies a challenge.

“So, why Endor?”

Well, that’s a funny story. See, you know the Haxion Brood criminal syndicate? Oh, you don’t? Don’t worry- they’re just some of the most hardened and cutthroat criminals in the galaxy! Well, they captured me outside of Kijime. After straight up murdering people of your kind, they were so frightened of me they just chose a distant planet to drop me off at! Funny story, right?      

“The will of the Force,” I quip. A satisfying snap runs through my stomach as I watch his left eye twitch. It’s perfect. I want to shatter his expression like that again.

I watch a yellow Twi’lek shake hands with one of the soldiers in a helmet. I’m reminded of Talik for a moment, and I miss her- but I push her from my mind. Mur, Kip, Talik- they’re a part of my past now. Talik can’t chase me anymore.

“Somewhere you need to go?” Adamus continues.  

“Nowhere you can take me,” I promise him quickly.

Adamus curls his pink lips into a sly smile. His eyes twinkle immediately with a spark of charisma. “Listen, no offense, but you don’t look like someone who has somewhere they need to be.”

“Makes sense to me, because you don’t seem like the type of person who would know what that looks like.”

Adamus narrows his pale eyes. I wait for his smile to twitch again, but it doesn’t happen. He almost looks like he wants to laugh. Like I’ve just told him something clever. Instead, he crosses his arms over his chest and begins sauntering backwards. “It was nice talking to you, stranger.”

I take that as him dismissing me. “Fuck you,” I whisper at him as I watch him turn around. The I start back to the room I was unconscious in. With minimal pain on my part, I begin to swap out my clothes with my dark colored outfit that highlights my agility. A small mirror on one of the walls allows me to look at my face.

My eyes are a little red, and there’s a scarlet gash on my forehead, above my right eyebrow. I still look like myself, at least. Same hazel-green eyes, same chapped lips, same brown hair. I’m me. Just roughed up, I guess.

I see and hear Aheka wisp around being me, on the left side. I don’t turn to see her, but I can imagine her pretty face, clear as day. There’s a certain layer of guilt that sweeps around the pit of my stomach. I shouldn’t have been so rude to her earlier. She hasn’t do anything to me. In fact, she’s probably the one who healed me up best she could. She saved my worthless life.

“Hey, Aheka,” I mumble so quietly I expect her not to hear.

“Hm?” She hums sweetly in response.

My mouth suddenly feels dry. I can’t bring myself to turn around and look at her as I say the words, and I realize I’m just as big of a coward as Aegus. “Thank you,” I whisper hoarsely.

It’s quiet for a few seconds, and I start to wonder if she even heard me. “I said-”

“I heard you,” Aheka replies. I can hear her soft smile through her tone. “I’m just doing my job.”

“Are you the medic?”

“It’s just me and another so far. We’re trying to train more, but it’s difficult with our numbers.”

I swallow. “Did you patch me up?”

“Yes.” Aheka says bashfully, as if embarrassed by her work.

“I’m not going to kill you,” I tell her as I turn around to finally face her. I had meant to put her at ease, but I only feel her tense up further at my phrasing. “Can you tell me about my injuries?”

The beautiful Togruta walks to the other side of the room to grab the clipboard she placed there earlier. “A broken rib on your left side, two on your right. Several cuts on your back, calves, and hands. A single cut to your forehead. Your right ankle was dislocated. The right finger on your right hand was already like that when we found you. I’m sorry, but we couldn’t find it.”

“What about my ear?”

“Your ear?” she sets down the clipboard again and begins to walk over to me with a concerned expression. “Is something the matter with it?”

“Yes, my right one.” Her red hand reaches out to touch me, and I flinch away before stilling myself enough for her to hold my jaw gently. “I can’t hear anything out of it.”

“Since when?”

“Since back on Endor. A ship- this one, I think- fired at me and Adamus.”

"They fired at you?!” Aheka furrows her eyebrows in anger. “So that’s why Adamus looked so peeved at Circe. I’m sorry they did that. We’re not usually like that, I promise.”

The tips of her fingers are cold, then warm as they edge closer to my ear. “I knew I noticed you bleeding when I took you in. I should’ve examined you more closely.” Then she snuffs out some hot air. “Perhaps you should start hurting yourself on your left side too, to balance yourself out.”

A weak attempt at humor. I have heard better. Still, I try not to look like I’m so uncomfortable and grimacing to give her the benefit of the doubt.

I clear my throat. “So, who exactly is ‘we’?”

“Oh… Adamus didn’t tell you?” I shake my head no. “I’d tell you we’re nobodies, but that’s not really true,” she whispers, as if we were speaking in a forbidden language. “We’re part of the Rebellion. New, and not really valid, but we’re a part of it. Too small to be the whole thing but well… all rebellions have to start somewhere.”

Oh man. The Rebellion? This is exactly the type of thing I was trying to stay away from. I might’ve well have just ended up in the hands of some Sith activist group. I don’t want to be allied with anyone’s side but my own. I don’t want the Light path or the Dark path- I want my own path.

“And what’s the deal with Adamus?” I venture to ask.

Aheka removes her fingers from my skin gently. She crosses to the other side of the room, and pulls out a long, thick stick with a little puff at the end. “That’s a story I would just butcher telling you. Here, tilt your head this way…”

I tilt my head to the side as she places the stick in my ear. With minimal discomfort, she pulls it out after a moment. The puffy side is stained red and slightly gold. She lifts her hand to my ear and snaps, but I hear nothing. “You didn’t hear that? I see…Well, the good news is I know what to do. I don’t have the materials for it right now, but I’m sure I can find something somewhere.” Aheka gives me a soft smile. “But until then, maybe you should get some rest. I-I know you’ve had nothing but that for the past day and a half, but…”

Is she… looking out for me? No, nobody is that good. She’s being nice for a reason. She wants something from me. I watch her for a minute before walking past her silently. “Wait- ah, where are you going?”

I don’t answer her. It’s not like telling her would make a difference anyway. I pass the room with the holo-table, not seeing my target anywhere. Adamus.

I let my instincts lead the way. I walk through one of the hallways on the right side, then take a left. A few soldiers walking past give me weird looks, but I pay no mind. They’re lucky I didn’t just kill them right then and there.

The Force leads me to another door. Yes- this is where I’ll find him. I can practically smell Adamus’s disgusting stench from here. It opens without me pressing a button.

“Our first assault should’ve been on Endor. We could’ve taken it if it weren’t for Oden’s ridiculous vote.”

“No, don’t be foolish! We should focus on a defense more than anything. We…”

Adamus notices me and turns to face me. His arms unfold themselves as he starts over to me silently, careful not to disturb the others with the movement of his stocky body. The other men in the room, all sharing a similar uniform, continue discussing what I assume to be their rebellious little plans that I intend to be no part of. Adamus reaches out to hold my left arm as if I were a child that needed to be held still.

“Lovely to see you,” he begins. I see that he has to crane his neck to meet my eyeline, and I imagine punching him square in the jaw. “What can I do for you?”

He’s closer than he’s been before. He doesn’t smell as bad as I previously said, actually. It’s not nearly as… stench-y. It reminds me of something I can’t really place. Some type of wood, maybe? I can see a scar across his lips that pauses before his jaw, then resumes on his neck and under his robes. There’s another one right under his right eye. His eyelashes look so soft and dark brown. Something in my stomach pulls me to look in his eyes. 

“Am I interrupting your sausage party?” I say, watching his lips twitch in annoyance for the third time today.

“That’s disgusting,” he counters calmly, struggling to keep his cool.

“But… accurate.”

Adamus squints his eyes in a brief wave of annoyance. “What did you come here for?”

My eyes flicker around the room with paranoia, making sure no one is watching our conversation. Luckily, all the men in uniform seem be clenching their fists as one of them makes some big, dramatic speech while waving his arms around. “Where can you take me?”

Adamus stiffens his body, and I watch the charismatic twinkle return to his irises as my stomach drops. “Ilum, perhaps?”

Ilum would be perfect. It would be… it would be home. “Why would I want to go there?”

“You were talking about it in your sleep.”

Fuck. Adamus.

His grip on my arm intensifies slightly. “I can take you there if you tell me your name.”

I stare up into his piercing orbs. A small shrug graces my shoulders. “Why am I so important to you?” I hiss. “First you stalk me, then you shoot at me, and now you’re demanding my identity. How do I know you’re no better than the Empire?”

Adamus narrows his pale eyes at me. “We’re the rebellion,” he says as if it were obvious.

“What does that have to do with anything?” I counter sharply. “Because you’re not part of the oppressive government, you can’t be oppressive yourselves? Fuck off.”

I hold his stare then. I am not one to back down from challenging authority, or messing with anyone who thinks they’re in control of something. That always tends to include men.

Adamus keeps squaring his jaw in frustration, much to my delight. Then he returns to the table, and a hush falls over the uniformed men. “I have a proposal,” he speaks.

“Does it include her?” One of the men with gray hair and frown stapled to his lips jabs a finger at me.

“It does,” Adamus replies. “I propose we set a course to Ilum. The planet is sacred to the Jedi and could prove useful to me and the uh… new associate here.”

“Didn’t she attack you on sight?” one of the men counters- a Chiss with blue skin and deep red eyes.

“She had every reason to attack. But now she’s going to help us. Right, my new associate?”

Oh no. No, Adamus! Please don’t put the spotlight on me. Before I can respond, Adamus answers for me, probably sensing my discomfort. “Right. Everyone in favor of heading to Ilum, raise your hands.”

Adamus raises both his hands as if surrendering. Nervously, five men follow suit. Adamus turns to me, eyebrows raised. Immediately, I throw up my left hand as a vote.

“Oh, yay! A unanimous vote. That sure makes things easy. Well, off to Ilum then!”

“Ah- General Adamus!”

“Can’t hear you Rass I’m already out the door!” He grabs my arm again as he leaves the room and shuts the door behind us. Separating me from the pit of political vipers he calls his council.

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Of Comic Books and Sushi

Summary: When his dad’s visit to him at college clashes with an important class, Neal asks his roommate Belle to look after his dad for a few hours. Belle takes it upon herself to introduce Neal’s father to the wonders that Boston has to offer. 

Written for the @a-monthly-rumbelling prompt: Trying something new for the first time.

Rated: G

=====

Of Comic Books and Sushi

Belle would admit to being somewhat nervous about meeting Neal’s dad properly for the first time. She’d met him in passing, obviously, over the course of the two years that she and Neal had been roommates, but this would be the first time that she was meeting him without Neal there as well, and she was anxious to make a good impression.

Especially since the very first time that she had ever seen the man, she had been wearing a bright pink fleece onesie with ‘Princess Fabul-ass’ embroidered on the butt, with her hair in a towel turban and a bright green mud mask on her face. She had never fully forgiven Neal for not warning her that his dad was coming that day, and the onesie, a gag gift from Ruby, had never been worn again despite its cosiness. 

She didn’t even know why she was so nervous; it wasn’t like she was dating Neal. 

In fact, it was probably quite a good thing that she wasn’t dating Neal, because if she remembered correctly, having got over her initial mortification, Mr Gold was really rather attractive. Ruby had said that her liking for older men would get her into hot water one day, and if having a sort-of crush on your roommate’s dad didn’t constitute hot water, then she didn’t know what did. 

She had the sudden urge to kill someone in the art department, because it wasn’t Neal’s fault that he was leaving her alone with his dad for three hours. One of his presentations, a pivotal one which counted towards his final grade, had been rescheduled at the last possible moment, and since he couldn’t cancel it, he’d had to draft in Belle to keep his dad entertained. 

How on earth was she supposed to do that? Neal had probably already shown his dad all of Boston’s usual tourist attractions on his previous visits, and it would be awkward indeed for them to just sit in the apartment for the entire time. 

There was a knock on the door and Belle gulped. It was zero hour. She checked her appearance in the mirror. Although he had, thankfully, seen her looking much better than she had been for their first meeting, Belle was still acutely aware that she had never seen Mr Gold himself looking anything less than pristine. 

Finally, she opened the door; it wouldn’t do to keep him waiting after all. When she got a good look at him, Belle had to double take, and she was sure that she stood gaping at him for at least five minutes before either of them spoke. 

“You cut your hair,” she said. As greetings went, it could have been worse. 

“Yes, I decided that it was time for a change. And hello to you too, Miss French. How are you?”

“It looks great. I mean, you look great. I mean, I’m great, thanks for asking. Do you want to come in for a cup of tea? Has Neal explained the situation to you?” 

She stepped aside to let him in, aware that she was gabbling but unable to stop herself. 

“Yes, he told me that he was leaving me in your capable hands. Tea would be lovely, thank you.”

Belle busied herself with kettle and teabags, deciding to break out the teapot since was an occasion - well, a guest - that merited a bit of class. Hopefully, making the tea would distract her enough that she wouldn’t do or say anything that she might regret after the heat of the moment had passed. 

Because Mr Gold did look great, as did his short hair. If she’d found him attractive before, then he was practically sex on legs now. Good God, had she actually thought that phrase, and in connection with her roommate’s dad, as well? She really shouldn’t be thinking of him in that way. Neal was like a brother to her, which meant that Mr Gold should have been like a father to her, and… 

Nope. She brought the teapot over and poured two cups. Nope, the feelings that she was feeling now were definitely in no way familial. 

“So, did you have any plans for today, Miss French? I know that this isn’t exactly how you were anticipating spending your Friday.”

“You can call me Belle, Mr Gold, honestly. And no, you’re not interrupting anything. I was going to go to the comic store and treat myself to some sushi for lunch, but that’s probably not your thing.”

“Believe it or not, Miss French, I have never actually done either of those things before, so I wouldn’t know if it was my thing or not.” He paused, and there was the smallest hint of a shy smile on his face. “If you don’t want an old curmudgeon cramping your style, then I completely understand, but I’ll happily tag along with you if I may.”

“Sure, of course.” Well, at least that solved the problem of what they were going to do whilst they waited for Neal. “You’ve seriously never had sushi?”

“Never.”

“Mr Gold, you are missing out. Let me just get my coat and we’ll head out as soon as the tea’s drunk. You’re in for a treat, I promise you.”

“Lead on, MacFrench.”

X

If Mulan was alarmed when Belle brought Mr Gold into the comic store then she didn’t show it. Unlike some (mostly young, white, and male) comic store proprietors that Belle had met in her time of frequenting them, Mulan didn’t care who read comics; the more the merrier in her opinion. She would always try to convert any newcomer who walked through her doors, from any walk of life.

“Do you come here a lot?” Mr Gold asked Belle as she browsed the racks. She wanted to find something that he would enjoy and that he could bond with Neal over. Belle knew that their relationship had been very strained during Neal’s high school years and they were both working hard to recover it. Which was probably why she shouldn’t be throwing a spanner in the works by being attracted to Mr Gold.

“Yes, it’s like a second home. Well, a third after the library. Neal and I met through this place, actually, I don’t know if he’s ever told you. There was a tiny little comics convention up on campus and Mulan had a stall there. Neal and I were both looking and tada, the perfect partnership was born.” She paused. “We’re trying to make our own comic, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m writing and Neal’s drawing.” It made sense, after all. She was studying English and library science and he was studying art.

“He’s never mentioned it to me.”

“You should ask him about it. The concept sketches he’s done for it are amazing.”

“I’m looking forward to seeing them.” Mr Gold still sounded rather mind-blown by the concept. “What’s it about?”

“It’s an Alice in Wonderland story, with a twist. All of the characters are human, but it’s still set in a fantasy psychotopia. It’s kind of hard to explain, but it’ll be great if we ever get it finished.”

“I’m sure that it will, with you two at the helm.” It wasn’t just a polite platitude Belle could tell that he really meant it, and something in her heart turned a somersault at his words. 

She turned back to the racks of comics before she could do something that she regretted, hoping that Mr Gold wouldn’t notice her blush. She grabbed the latest Harley Quinn for herself and a new Thor for Neal, holding it out to Mr Gold. 

“That’s one of the ones Neal’s reading at the moment,” she said. “After the morning that he’s had, I’m sure that he’d be glad to see it.”

Mr Gold nodded, picking up on the unspoken suggestion as he took the comic from her. “Thank you, Miss French.”

“It’s Belle, really.”

Mr Gold shook his head. “Only if you call me Andrew.”

Belle was about to protest that she couldn’t do that, that he was her friend’s dad and she needed to address him with the appropriate level of respect, but something stopped her. They were both adults after all, and on an equal footing. And he had offered her his first name, so presumably he was fine with her using it. 

“Ok… Andrew.”

It didn’t feel as weird as she thought it might, and she was rewarded with his shy little smile again. 

“Thank you, Belle.”

She watched him go over to the cash desk, where Mulan immediately started regaling him with the best reading order for the series if he wanted to get into it himself, and Belle had to take a moment to take stock of what had just happened. 

She was on first name terms with Neal’s dad now. They’d definitely turned a corner in their relationship, and if she wasn’t very much mistaken, then he’d definitely wanted to turn that corner with her. 

What on earth would Neal think?

Forget Neal, well, for the next couple of hours at least. She could deal with him when the time came, and if he was her best friend then he might be weirded out for a couple of weeks but would hopefully come around to the idea, and honestly, nothing might come of it after all.

Belle really hoped that it would, though. 

Her stomach gave an aptly timed growl, reminding her of the other object of their trip out today, and she hurried to pay for her own title, steering the now somewhat overwhelmed Andrew away from Mulan and out into the street. 

“Sushi?” she asked hopefully. Andrew nodded.

“It’s certainly a day of new experiences, that’s for sure.”

“Mulan’s harmless really. She just wants to spread her passion around.”

Belle and Neal’s favourite sushi restaurant was only round the corner from the comic store, a little hole in the wall place that was all but hidden away unless you knew where to look for it. Belle was happy to take charge, ordering all of her favourites and the usual things that she would start beginners with, and the talk turned back to the nebulous Alice idea whilst they waited for their food to arrive, with hilarity ensuing as Belle tried to teach Andrew how to hold chopsticks properly. 

It was only when she was holding her fingers over his on the slim wood to adjust his grip that she came to a frightening realisation. 

They were basically on a date. 

She paused for a moment, letting her head get around it, weighing up the pros and cons. On the one hand, Neal was probably going to kill her, but on the other hand, she really couldn’t bring herself to care. She was having a good time, and even if this was the last time she saw Andrew, she wouldn’t regret it. She didn’t even regret it when Neal called, breaking up the moment. 

“Hi Belle, it’s all over now, thank God. Where are you?”

“Hi Neal. We’re in Kokoro. How did it go?”

“It was fine, I don’t get the result till Monday… Wait, did you say that you were in Kokoro?”

“Yes.”

“With my dad?”

“Yes.”

“My dad is eating sushi?”

“Well, he’s attempting to, his chopstick skills need honing.”

“I…” There was a stunned silence at the other end of the phone for a long time. “I’m sorry, I’m going to have to see this to believe it.”

Belle just laughed as Neal hung up. Knowing that their little moment would be over soon, she raised her cup of tea to Andrew’s in a toast.

“To discovering new things.”

“Yes.” He paused. “Thank you, Belle. I’ve had an unusual, but very pleasant, morning, and I can’t fault the company.”

Belle smiled. “Thank you. The same goes for me.”

It was an open invitation for the both of them, the knowledge that they had enjoyed spending time together without Neal, and they would take the opportunity to do it again some time. 

She had to grin as she saw Neal staring at them from outside the restaurant, and she waved. Only time would tell, but she was very confident that something could happen from this.

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Blow By Blow ch.4 (baon)

Summary: Set the day after ‘With Brotherly LV’. Jeff is having his first day working at the Embassy, Stretch is having a bad anxiety day, Red is having a bad text day, and Edge is just having a day.

Tags: Spicyhoney, Established Relationship, Prejudice Against Monsters, Angst, Injury Recovery, Hurt/Comfort, LV Issues, Brother issues

Notes: My timeline is getting a little wonky due to a few drabble sets and shorts. So this chapter directly follows With Brotherly LV

Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter 3

~~*~~

Read Chapter 4 on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

No matter his concern, Antwan was smarter than to stand with the door open and risk being caught sneaking in by Janice. On a good day, she did her duty of chasing away undesirables who wanted to ‘drop in’ ferociously and those who earned her wrath lived with their regrets. On a day like today, Edge was very glad to be on this side of the office door.

Antwan had been on her watch list before and he closed the door hastily, making his way to the guest chairs…and stopped, staring at the newly whittled down armrest.

Bemused, he nudged at the wood shavings scattered on the carpet with the toe of one shoe. “What the fuck happened in here? Did the chair attack you?”

"No, you do not,” Edge said firmly.

"I don’t?" Antwan asked with wary confusion. He bypassed the slightly mangled chair and chose the one that was still in an acceptable state, sinking into the leather cushions with a groan. All the impeccable lines of his suit crumpled around him.

"No. We are not discussing what the fuck happened to me or the chair.” Edge gathered up his finished paperwork briskly and set it in the proper basket. “You came in here to talk about something specific, and we will discuss that and nothing else.” His interest in discussion any of his own personal issues had dwindled into the negative.

"Ooookay, I'm good with that," Antwan said agreeably. He leaned back in the chair, crossing his legs to rest his ankle on the opposite knee with fingers drumming against the intact armrest. “Red will tell me later, anyway."

"I suppose it's useless to ask you to stop drinking with my brother."

"Yeah, momma, sorry,” Antwan shrugged. “I need all my lines of communication open and if I buy the good shit, he spills the good shit.”

"Antwan,” Edge sighed. The headache that had been sending him threats all morning was looming ominously at the gate. “Did you actually want something? Because I do have my own catastrophes to deal with."

That turned out to be an unexpected misstep. Far from his normal lawyerly arrogance, Antwan promptly looked miserable and started to stand. "I mean, it's not that important—“

"Sit your ass down and talk."

He sank back down, absently plucking a pen from his inside jacket pocket and fidgeting with it in a way more reminiscent of Stretch than Edge was used to with Antwan. “Well, it’s… is that a chicken plushie?"

"Yes." Edge raised a brow bone, silently inviting him to express his concerns over Edge's choice of desktop decor. “Was that really what you wanted to discuss?”

"No, shit, give me a minute…look, you're probably the worst person for me to ask about this," Antwan said bluntly. His face was tight, a deep furrow between his brows. "You hit a home run and got married the first time you stepped up to the plate so what do you know about anything?"

Edge propped his chin on one gloved hand, gazing at Antwan thoughtfully, “This must be why we're such good friends, our mutual respect for each other."

"I respect the fuck out of you, or else I wouldn't be here.” Antwan took a deep breath. “But I’ve been sleeping on a shitty sofa for a week, I’ve gained five pounds with all the food Blue is forcing on me and I have no fucking idea what I’m doing. This is way out of my area of expertise.”

“What is?”

“Jeff!” Antwan threw up his hands in frustration. “Look, I’ve gotten into some slightly weird shit before, okay? Once, I slept with this guy in a band and when I came home from work the next day I found him and bunch of strangers eating everything in my fridge and some girl redecorating my bathroom to make it more feng shui. But this is new territory, I really wasn't expecting my boyfriend to move in with another guy while my back was turned.” He sighed, dropping the pen into the empty seat and rubbing a thumb between his eyes. “Why the hell did you let him move in with Blue, anyway?”

“My apologies, was I supposed to forbid it? Would you rather he stayed at his old apartment while he recovered where anyone with the internet could find his address?” Edge asked calmly. His willingness to accept any blame for that began and ended at no. “Because I gathered he wasn’t willing to move in with you. We were simply offering another option. Then again, if you’d tried asking him to move in when he wasn’t well-drugged and fresh from surgery, you may have had more luck. Perhaps next time you’ll choose a better moment to express your intentions than in a hospital room.”

“How did you..?” Antwan started. His expression soured and he broke off, letting his head drop back with a sigh. “You really piss me off, sometimes.”

“I know, I learned from the best,” Edge said serenely. “Something you’re well aware of since you usually spend Wednesday nights drinking with him. That said, the last I knew, Jeff was down in public relations going over press releases, not in the hospital. Is there anything stopping you from talking to him now, aside from the stairs?”

Antwan met Edge’s stare but only for a moment, his eyes dropped as he muttered, “He’s been happy living with Blue.”

“He has.” This was an unexpected development. Edge couldn’t recall ever seeing Antwan as less than completely confident at anything. He’d seen defense attorneys flinch when Antwan came in to a courtroom, and plea deals were often struck after opening arguments. Antwan was very nearly as skilled as Edge in keeping his expression impassive, but the unhappiness on his face was as blatant as a Human nose when Edge pointed out, “That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be happy living with you.”

“Maybe it does.” Antwan slumped back, staring moodily at the ceiling as if in hopes the answers would come from above.

Generally, Edge was indifferent to self-inflicted forms of pathetic, but since divine intervention seemed unlikely, this time he relented. “He cares about you a great deal.”

“Then why is it the only time he told me he loved me was when he doesn’t even remember doing it?”

The quiet hurt in those words made Edge pause, considering. Slowly, he said, “I couldn’t begin to guess the workings of Jeff’s mind anymore than I could Stretch. Why don’t you ask him? Just talk to him.” “But—“ “Talk. To. Him.” Edge said, exasperated. Why was he surrounded by such brilliantly intelligent idiots? “I may have hit a home run with Stretch, but I can tell you most of the problems we’ve had would have been prevented with a little communication.” Like now, but this wasn’t at all the time bring up their domino fall of troubles. “You give speeches in court all the time, I have to listen to you go on about them at lunch, I know you know how to talk. Plan what you want to say to him and say it.”

“When would I have the time?” Antwan shifted enough to look at him. The way he was sprawling in the chair in his expensive suit made him look like a child playing dress up. His mournful sigh was worse, and if he and Stretch had ever been like this during their difficult beginning, Edge couldn’t believe his brother hadn’t attempted an intervention, preferably one with plenty of swearing and threats of violence. “I haven’t been able to get him away from starry little bodyguard long enough.” That was a fair point. “If you’ll make the effort to talk to him tonight, I’ll handle Blue. Start making a plan.” He glanced at the clock. It was well past noon and he still hadn’t made it to lunch. “Now if you'll excuse me, I need to think of a way to convince my husband that he can’t piss me off enough to make me leave him, no matter how hard he tries.”

“What?” Edge made a mental note that the best way to distract Antwan from his problems was to introduce one of his own. He sat up straight and his expression was one of aghast dismay. “Why the hell would he ever believe that? Any idiot can see you worship that brat.”

“Yes, but Stretch is a special brand of idiot,” Edge said dryly. He might have left it there, but Antwan was his friend, and Edge admitted with some discomfort, “and I suppose I didn’t tell him in words he can understand.”

“That’s bullshit,” Antwan scoffed. “I’ve heard you tell him you love him, you two are disgusting about it! You married him for fuck’s sake!”

“Your argument is sound,” Edge agreed. “Which gives me a few decades to persuade him to my way of thinking. That being said, I’d still prefer to find a faster route.”

“Good luck with that, man,” Antwan rubbed the back of his head. “You want to head out for some lunch?”

“Thank you, but no.” The more Edge looked at remaining piles of paperwork on his desk, the less important they seemed. Particularly in comparison to his mental image of Stretch sitting at home, miserable and alone, unable to stop fretting about tomorrow, about Edge, probably about anything. “I think I’m going to call it an early day.”

That made Antwan wince. “You leaving early with nothing burnt down and no one dead? You sure you want to try and help me tonight?”

“Yes, and hopefully the trend of no property damage or homicide continues. I’ll text you later, all right?”

Antwan leaving gave him a chance to double check his emails before he shut down his computer. Edge took a moment to lean out to his office door to find Janice back at her desk, coffee cup in hand. She glanced at him expectantly.

“Janice, would you mind-“

“I’ve already rescheduled your other meeting,” she said crisply. “I’ll get the R & D reports ready for you tomorrow morning.”

“No, I’m taking tomorrow off as well,” Edge said, almost surprising himself. If he checked with Alphys, perhaps she could see them sooner than tomorrow afternoon. He suspected the only reason she’d asked them to come in so late to begin with was because of his work.

Janice’s reaction was closer to shock, but she nodded. “I’ll handle it. Go home.” It was very close to scolding.

He gave her a small smile. “Thank you, I am.” Moments later, he was headed out to his car. It was tempting to text Stretch and let him know he would be home soon, but he decided against it.

Hopefully, it would be a nice surprise.

~~*~~

Tbc

[serpentlopez]

True Colors

Who: Eliana & Puck @firefighterxnoah​

What: After Puck gets a text message from Quinn about her renewed relationship, Eliana goes to offer some comfort. 

When: Oct 20, Afternoon

Where: At the Hummel’s

Notes: Mentions of Quinn

ELIANA

Eliana had planned on going up to the tattoo parlor that afternoon. She technically had been skating by when it came to her responsibilities but a quick text message to the client she was supposed to meet and she had it rescheduled. Right now, she knew when she was needed and frankly, Puck had been through enough. She didn't like the idea of being being along after the North Side Princess decided to dump him on his ass like he wasn't good enough. She had no fucking idea how much of a good thing she walked away from. Propping her bike up in front of the Hummel's, Eliana walked up, tried the door and, finding it unlocked, took the liberty of letting herself in. The raven haired woman had a habit of making herself at home wherever she was so when she spotted the Sheriff pouring himself a cup of coffee, she didn't pay any mind to the confused expression of his face. Eliana winked at him and then walked into the room she knew Puck was staying. Her cocky expression changes the minute she saw him. "Hey.."

PUCK

Puck stared at his phone, reading the texts from Quinn over and over. He had a feeling this would happen, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. She went back to Clarington, to a fellow elite. He wasn’t sure what he would do without Ellie. He needed her. She was his person. She was the closest thing he had to family. He was curled up in bed, having tossed his phone to the chair against the wall, only looking to the door when he heard Ellie come in. “Hey...”

ELIANA

If she were anyone else, Eliana was sure that she would have some words right now. She would tell him that the girl who broke his heart was a bitch and didn't deserve him. She'd tell him that he would find someone better, someone who understood him and accepted him for all the ugly and wonderful things he was. Maybe she would have told him all the ways he was a great person but it wasn't that she hadn't said those things in some fashion before. Right now, Puck was hurting, and she only knew one way to help him. Shutting the door behind her, the woman kicked off her boots and then climbed into bed with him. She was careful climbing up his body, finally settling herself snug against him. "I'm sorry," she hummed, kissing the scruffy side of his face.

PUCK

As soon as she was against him, he wrapped his arms around her, and kept her close to him. He shouldn’t have hurt the way he did, and yet... he did. “... Was I really not good enough?” He sighed, “did I do something wrong? Is something wrong with me?” He turned to look at her, “why is it that whenever I’m into someone, they aren’t into me? Or I don’t stand a chance in hell of being with them?” He swallowed, trying not to cry. “Like... you. You’d be... perfect.  But I’m not worthy, so, y’know.”

ELIANA

"She's the one who fucked up here," Eliana said, putting her hand on his face so that he would look at her. She wanted to make sure that he knew she meant every word, that she wasn't just saying this because she was a friend and that's what the people you care about say when you're hurting. "You got into the ring at a disadvantage but that doesn't mean that you weren't good enough. You can't look at everything you've done and think you wouldn't be good enough for anyone." Though at his comment, she felt a hitch inside her chest that she tried to swallow past. Perfect. No one called her perfect. She was far from anything resembling person. "Stop that," she said. "You can be sad, or upset, or feel like crap for a while but you are not going to do that thing where you think you're not enough. I'll kick your crippled ass if you even try, you hear me?"

PUCK

It was hard to keep looking at her, but, this was Ellie. Few people knew him the way she did. So, he didn’t pull away. “I’ll try my best, but you know that’s immediately where my mind goes. I was called worthless and a waste of space for my entire childhood, so this is just ... adding onto it.” He sighed again, “she wants to be friends, apparently. Like. We weren’t friends before. So why the hell does she think we can be friends after? I don’t like like any of her friends, and I doubt she’d like any of mine.”

ELIANA

It was hard because Ellie did know. She hadn't been told she was worthless growing up; quite the opposite. Her father told her how wonderful she was all the time, and he spoiled her with gifts and presents, all so that she would stay quiet by the new bruise that popped up on her skin, or how easily he'd give her to his friends like she was a plaything that didn't matter. She understood feeling worthless. "But you're neither of those things, Puck. You made something respectful out of yourself, and you did it all on your own.  Even when people swore you'd never do it, you did."

PUCK

“Yeah, and yet...” he swallowed, “I feel... alone so much of the time. I live alone on the north side, everyone I grew up with is south side, and I’m not welcome back. I may be a first responder on this side, but I’m very much outside looking in. I love my job, more than anything...” he groaned, “being stuck in bed as made me very emo.”

ELIANA

"I don't know how I feel about emo!Puck." Eliana said, a small crooked grin on her red lips. Her fingers trailed down to his shirt, curling into the fabric, drawing nonsensical patterns. "Well, what is it that you want to have that you don't have here? Because I remember you talking about wanting to do better with your life. Wanting to come here, save lives, and you've done it. This isn't just about being with Quinn." At least she could hope it wasn't. Puck wasn't someone who should be hung up on a priss like her. "You can still see your friends. They just have to come here. And if you're worried about finding someone to be with, you've had so many options. You were just swimming in the sex shark pond and didn't stop to look before."

PUCK

“I... want to fall in love, Ell. I know that’s ridiculous and so not me, but waking up next to someone, the same someone, every morning, would be amazing. Having someone to come home to after my long shifts.” He sighed, “it’s the one thing I don’t have. Is my person. And like... it’s not like I have a lot of options. I’m a sex shark, but it means no one ever takes me seriously.”

ELIANA

Eliana thought about what he said, and then she wondered why it was so easy for her to see all of the wonderful things he was, all the ways he was a great catch, but why he couldn't see it. "You were also a serpent and you changed that. You didn't think anyone would take you seriously with your background but they did. You proved it to them then and you'll do it again." She leaned in and nuzzled her nose against his chin, enjoying the comfort of his touch as they spoke. "What's your perfect person like? If you could pick, honestly."

PUCK

He tightened his grip on her, keeping her close. She saw him in a way that pretty much no one else did. He didn’t totally understand it. The question she asked him caught him off guard. “Someone who... knows me, knows my past, but accepts me for all of that. Who can actually handle the fact I’m a firefighter, because I know it’s stressful. Someone who... wants to eventually have a family. But also someone who is confident, is their own person. Who will call me on my shit. Someone who will let me cook for them, and take care of them, but will also take care of me. I’m ... getting tired of always playing strong and stoic. I need... to have someone who lets me just... feel.”

ELIANA

"Puck," Shaking her head as he spoke, Eliana looked up at him again. There was something almost fragile about him. It had always been there but he tended to cover it up. However when he said he was getting tired of playing strong and stoic, she knew why it was there. "Whether you're in love with someone or not, you don't have to be tough all the time. You are allowed to feel things, and you don't need anyone's permission to do so. Like right now. You feel awful and you're just feeling awful. No one needs you to be strong or stoic."

PUCK

“I’m a Puckerman, I’m an ex serpent, I’m a jock, and I’m a fireman. The toxic masculinity engrained in me is so deep... it’s like... I’m not allowed to feel. I have to be strong, I have to be stoic. It’s exhausting.” And yet, he couldn’t get himself out of this bullshit headspace. “It feels like I have to be strong.”

ELIANA

Eliana knew a little bit about feeling like you had to be one way or the other. After she'd run away from home, she felt like she had to be mean, had to be tough, had to keep everyone at arms length because if you let people close, they just burned you. "You don't have to be strong," she said softly, leaning in to kiss him. Sex was pretty much the only thing she knew how to offer but it didn't feel like that was right, like it was what he really needed, so instead, it was a kiss. Chaste. Innocent. Simple. "You don't have to be anything you don't want."

PUCK

The kiss was... unlike any kiss they’d shared, but he liked it. He kissed her back, his hand cupping her cheek, allowing himself to enjoy such a soft moment before pulling away. “I don’t know how to ... change. Or how to ... adjust myself and my thinking. And bring stuck alone so much makes me think too much, and I hate it.”

ELIANA

"You'll figure it out," She said, voice soft and low. She didn't have to be her sarcastic or tough self right now. She was with one of the only people who got to see her like that. "You always do. You just have to stop doubting yourself. You said you want someone who is confident? Then you need to be confident too. See yourself like I see you, like you can do anything you decide you want to. Because I believe it." Then a thought occurred and while Eliana was sure that it wasn't one he would take, she still felt the need to offer. "I usually don't go into the shop until later so why don't I come over in the mornings? I can stay for a while, at least be around until around when Kurt gets back. You don't have to be alone."

PUCK

“I’m normally so confident, but for some reason, being stuck in bed, unable to run or workout. Unable to work. It’s making me feel useless and unproductive. Which is fucking with my confidence.” He was getting a bit annoyed at himself, but was calmed down again, “... seriously? You’d do that? I feel like I should be moving back home soon... because Burt starts planning mine and Kurt’s wedding.”

ELIANA

"Well, we are going to get your confidence back. In the mean time, if you don't feel it, you don't have to feel it. You can be weak from time to time. I'm not going to judge you for it, you know that." Eliana perked her brow when Puck mentioned the wedding. "See, I didn't know if that that serious," she teased, winking at him. "I don't mind spending time with you, Puck, and if it helps you feel better, then I'm in it even more. If you do end up moving back home, I still would. Anything you need. You know I'm always here for you."