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violentdelightsandviolentends · 2 years ago

Text

Tethered.

The lines of friendship blur when you’re this close. Also known as - each of the times you’ve kissed Benny, Frankie, Santiago and Will.

Pairing - Benny Miller, Frankie Morales, Santiago Garcia, Will Miller x female reader

Age Rating - 18+

Warnings - Cursing, sexual content, mentions of sobriety

Word Count - 5523

Author's Note - by popular demand!! thank you to everyone who voted in the poll, it was so helpful!! don't worry, there is still a stewy hosseini fic coming very soon. i love writing for the triple frontier boys, so if anyone has any requests or particular thoughts, please send them my way. i'm also a total will girly, if you couldn't tell. as always, lots of love <3

my other triple frontier fics - Time, Tranquility and Home Is Where The Heart Is.

Masterlist. Requests.

Will’s strong hand rubs steady circles into your thigh under the table as you all hunch over laughing.

Benny’s telling the story of his bad date from the night before. The combination of his masterful storytelling and the whiskey that seems to be refilling itself is making you giddy, all of you high on the joy of being with your best friends. There’s no feeling quite like it, laughing until you cry.

“Wait, that doesn’t explain why she slapped you!” Santiago exclaims from opposite you, clapping Benny on the back.

“She slapped me because, it turns out, I’d kissed her best friend a few months ago. She called me a dog and everything,” he laughs, tears escaping from his eyes. “She had a strong hand!”

“Did you know who she was when you saw her?” Frankie asks, genuinely intrigued.

“I realised as soon as I sat down. I didn’t know it’d be a problem! Man, fuck blind dates,” Ben chuckles.

“Am I crazy for not seeing the issue here?” Santiago asks, looking around the table.

“I didn’t see it either, apparently. It’s not like me and Lucy ever went anywhere. It was just a kiss.” Benny’s face is scrunched up in confusion. It makes you want to smooth your thumb over the crease between his brows.

“She was giving me the look, I swear,” he continues. “So I went in for the kiss, and she hit me.”

The boys are all laughing again, and as guilty as you feel, you can’t help but join them. Benny has such an animated, expressive face, that even the most boring of stories are entertaining when being told by him. It’s a gift. He just has a way with people.

“What do you think, hermosa?” Santiago asks, looking at you pointedly. “Would you kiss someone your best friend has kissed?”

“I don’t know,” you reply carefully. “Depends on the situation, I guess. I’d try not to, I think.”

Will’s looking at you with amusement in his eyes, slight smirk on his face. It’s clear that no one is putting the pieces together.

“Would you, Santi?” you question, lips quirking up at the corners.

“Probably not. I’d avoid it, if possible,” he replies.

The whiskey is making you braver than usual, a warm buzz running through your veins. Without thinking, you laugh,

“Too late.”

Everyone looks at you, brows raised in confusion. Will’s grinning now, chuckling to himself quietly. You’re giggling at their faces, their naivety making you smile.

You watch as Frankie looks slowly around the table, and then back at you. Shaking his head, he catches your eyes and snickers.

“Minx,” he mutters, still smiling.

“Am I missing something here?” Benny asks, surveying the silent communication happening between you, Frankie and Will.

You sigh sarcastically and throw your drink back, downing it in one go. Well, we’re doing this, you think.

“I’ve kissed every single person at this table,” you start. “Which means you’ve all kissed the same girl your best friend has kissed.”

Santiago and Benny go silent for a moment, processing this new information. Will and Frankie are still smiling, already a step ahead.

“Wait, what?” Santiago finally speaks. “You have?”

“Oh no. Pope thought he was special,” Frankie laughs, head thrown back.

“Stop it, Francisco! You are special, Santi. It just so happens that they are too.”

You point generally at the other boys, all of them with their eyes fixed on you. You can see that Benny is still figuring things out, the alcohol making his brain work slower than usual.

“I’ve known you guys for years. We’ve been through a lot together. And you’re like, the four most gorgeous men I’ve ever seen! It was bound to happen sooner or later,” you justify.

Everyone’s laughing now, the final piece finally being put into the jigsaw. You can tell they’re all thinking back to their kisses – you are too.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

Benny had been the first one to kiss you.

It happened right at the beginning of his boxing career. He’d started working out religiously, meal planning, prepping for his first big fight. He set strict rules for himself – no alcohol, no women, no sex. You were glad he’d found an output for his energy, glad he was taking something so seriously – even if the idea of him getting hurt did terrify you.

The four of you had gone to support him, eager to see him win after months of watching him train and prepare. He’d really committed to the process, which was a surprise – Benny was a notorious ladies man. He loved to relax with a beer. But he’d never broken his self-made rules, not once. No matter the outcome of the fight, you were insanely proud of him. All of you were.

The atmosphere in the warehouse was electric. It was a big venue, with hundreds of people gathering to spectate. You hadn’t realised this was such a popular event. Adrenaline buzzed through the air, making you antsy with anticipation. You and the boys had front row seats by the ring, allowing you the perfect view, the ideal place to support Ben.

“I’m gonna go get us some beers,” Santiago yells over the noise.

“I’ll come help you,” you shout back, linking your hand into his so you don’t get separated.

You make your way out of the double doors and down the hallway in attempt to find the bar. On the journey, you spot a sign that points to the locker rooms.

“You order, I’ll be right back,” you tell Santiago, before following the directions.

You push open the door and step into the locker room. Benny is sat on the bench, headphones blasting music so loud you can hear it from 10 feet away. You make your way over, and touch him on the shoulder gently. He doesn’t startle.

“I don’t want to disturb you, Ben. Just wanted to say good luck,” you say quietly.

He grabs your wrist and pulls you to sit next to him.

“You could never disturb me, honey. You’re my good luck charm,” he winks, and the cheekiness of it warms your chest.

He pulls you in, wrapping his arms around you, breathing in the scent of your strawberry shampoo. You inhale with him, and soak up the heat that’s seeping into your skin.

“It doesn’t matter what happens out there,” you tell him. “I’ll love you no matter what.”

You press a kiss to his cheek, and throw a beaming smile at him before leaving. You find Santi at the bar, and help him carry the beers back to the boys.

You’ve never seen this side of Benny. He’s throwing and dodging punches like it’s second nature. The man moves like ocean waves, fluid and constant, never once caught off guard. There’s a lot to be said about the pastime of men fighting each other, but honestly, Ben has found his calling.

Electricity crackles through the air as Benny swings his last punch. His opponent falls to the mat as you rise from your seats. All of you instantly begin screaming, roars of celebration filling the space. Ben throws his fist in the air, signalling his victory. It’s rare, this feeling. The five of you don’t win very often. This needs to be savoured.

Eventually, the cheering dies down, and Benny leaves the ring to go and get changed. The boys are all ecstatic, chattering with pride in their voices about their brother, their teammate, their best friend.

“Be right back,” you tell them, moving to slip out of the doors and down the hallway.

You strut into the locker room, eyes scanning the space for the man you’re looking for. You find him stood, unwrapping his hands. Before you know it, you’re running into him, wrapping your arms around his neck as he spins you. His bare chest is dripping with sweat. He’s covering you in it, but you couldn’t care less. You’re both laughing, joy and love filling the air.

“I’m so proud of you,” you breathe into his neck, still in his arms. Your feet finally find the floor, and you lean back slightly to stare up at him.

“Couldn’t have done it without you, pretty girl,” he beams at you.

You can feel the energy coursing through his veins. He’s thrumming with it, buzzing with adrenaline – it feels like he’s going to burst. He’s practically vibrating.

Before you can even register what’s happening, Benny pulls you back to him, smashing his lips onto yours. He skims his hands down your back to grab at the backs of your thighs, lifting you up effortlessly. You wrap your legs around his waist and press yourself into him.

The kiss is needy, desperate, pulsing - all teeth and tongue. Benny walks you backwards to slam you against the lockers, using the pressure of his body to lean forward into you. Your hands thread through his hair, pulling forcefully. He groans, deep and guttural, and it’s one of the most gorgeous sounds you’ve ever heard.

He’s grabbing at your ass as he dips his head down to leave open mouthed kisses on your neck, biting at the column of your throat. Your dress is practically around your waist, and you roll your hips forward, searching for friction. It’s your turn to groan now.

“Fuck, honey,” he murmurs. “Prettiest sound I’ve ever heard.”

He holds you up with one arm, and moves the other hand to twist into the waistband of your underwear. He’s pulling them down when someone bangs on the door, startling you both.

“Benny! Champion! Get out here, man, or we’re coming in!”

It’s Will’s voice, that deep tone instantly recognisable.

You pull your lips from Benny’s, your head dropping back against the locker with a clang.

“Shit,” he chuckles, gently pressing a kiss to your sternum.

“Shit,” you repeat, giggling gently.

Benny puts you down carefully, smoothing down your dress with those big hands of his. He fixes your hair next, sweetly moving it out of your face and tucking it behind your ear. He runs his thumb under your bottom lip, wiping where your lipstick has smudged.

“Do we look like we just made out?” you ask him, amusement evident in your tone.

“You do. I look like I just won a fight.”

He smiles at you, and you can’t help but smile back. God, this man. One minute he’s got you whining against the lockers, and the next he’s got you giggling like a schoolgirl.

“Come on,” you urge. “They’re gonna come busting in here any second.”

Right on cue, the door swings open, three men barrelling inside. They all jump on Benny, ruffling his hair and pulling him into a headlock affectionately. You watch from a short distance away, smile still etched on your face. You love them so much you’re worried your heart is going to burst out of your chest.

You look at Will, and find him smirking at you. Always a step ahead. Frankie grabs your wrist and pulls you into their celebrations. You’re being thrown around like you’re in some sort of whirlpool, dizzy with the joy of being with your best friends. You wouldn’t change a thing, even if you are a little lightheaded.

You catch eyes with Benny, and he winks. You know that the events of tonight aren’t going to change anything between the two of you. Your friendship is so solid, you’re convinced it can withstand anything. The five of you are connected, somehow. This unexplainable, invisible tether, binding you wherever you go. The kind of friendship that they write books about.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

Frankie was the next person to kiss you.

Or maybe you kissed him. You’re still not sure.

The five of you were at a bar downtown, drinking and laughing. The boys were a few beers deep, muscles relaxing and minds quietening.

But not Frankie.

When he’d made the decision to get sober, he’d included everything. He wasn’t a man who believed in partially sober, or ‘California sober’. If he was going to commit, he was going to commit fully. Alcohol included.

Usually, it didn’t bother him. He could go to bars with his friends, happily crack open beers for them when they watched a football game, make a mean margarita when they hung out at his pool in the summer. But that night, he was on edge. He didn’t know why, couldn’t pinpoint any reason specifically, but he was on overdrive. His mind wouldn’t slow down - thoughts barrelling into him at a hundred miles an hour. He was debating going home to bed, before realising that he was designated driver. So, he’d sat back in his seat, taken a deep breath, and tried to pretend like he wasn’t about to combust.

You’d noticed. Of course you had. You, with your observant eyes, your careful gaze, your genuine smile. You’d noticed.

Will had too. He was keeping an eye on Frankie from across the booth, but he wasn’t worried. He knew you were watching him like a hawk. That reassured Will to no end.

“Oh yeah? Come on then, old man, put your money where your mouth is!” Benny’s yelling at Santiago, grabbing him by the bicep, up and out of his chair. You watch as he drags him over to the pool table, determined to prove himself.

No matter where you were, or what you were doing, somehow, Benny and Santiago always managed to turn it into a competition. You, Will and Frankie were always happy to watch – you usually ended up playing referee, only interfering when someone cheated or got too rowdy.

The two of them began setting up a game, leaving you at the booth with the other two.

“I’m gonna get some air,” Frankie says suddenly, standing up and making his way out of the door.

Will gives you a look of concern.

“I got it. Just make sure those two idiots don’t kill each other with pool cues, please,” you joke.

Will chuckles and nods, squeezing your waist as you move past him to follow Frankie.

Outside, you find him around the side of the bar, leaning against the brick wall. He’s breathing heavily, clearly trying to get a handle on things. You watch as he takes off his hat and runs his fingers through his hair. He slides down the wall, sitting on the cool ground, legs bent in front of him.

You walk over and sit down next to him, ignoring the feeling of the cold concrete underneath your bare legs. You lean into him slightly, placing your head on his shoulder. He breathes you in, and you feel some of the tension melt from his muscles.

Eventually, you speak.

“You okay?”

He wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in closer.

“Yeah, cariño, I’m okay,” he murmurs. “I’m usually fine in bars, it doesn’t bother me. Guess I’m just anxious tonight.”

You hum in understanding, before realising something.

“What’s today’s date?”

He looks at you with puzzlement written all over his face, but answers you anyway.

“March 16th.”

“Happy one year of sobriety, Francisco.”

You can see it all clicking into place in his head. The reason he’s been on pins all day, the reason he’s been so wound up tonight, unable to settle. You figured it out before he could. Clever girl.

“And I’m celebrating it in a bar, apparently. How appropriate,” he laughs. It’s a real, hearty, genuine laugh. You love when he laughs like this – so hard that he starts wheezing. It’s so endearing, it makes you want to cry.

“I can’t believe I forgot. A year ago, it was like, the biggest milestone ever. And I forgot.”

You can tell he’s almost disappointed with himself. But you’re not. No, quite the opposite, actually.

“You see how great that is though, right?” you ask him. “You’re so busy living your life now, working, being the best dad ever, that you didn’t even have to think about it. It’s not a bad thing that you forgot about it, Frankie.”

He pulls you closer, both arms wrapped around you, your head pressed into the crook of his neck.

“How do you do it, hermosa?”

“Do what?”

“Always know exactly what to say.”

“Years of knowing you, probably. Years of loving you,” you answer.

“I don’t deserve you,” he whispers, but you hear him clear as day.

“No, I don’t deserve you. I’m so proud of you, Francisco.”

He pulls away from you to look at you earnestly. He smiles at you, and you grin back at him. If love could lift you up, you’d be floating, both of you levitating with it.

Frankie leans in closer to you, and you mirror the movement. You’re not sure who kisses who, but suddenly his lips are on yours, his hands moving to cradle your face. It’s careful, and it’s gentle, and it’s so full of gratitude and history that it takes everything in you not to break out into a grin. One of his hands moves through your hair as the other one caresses your cheek. You can’t remember the last time you were kissed so tenderly. Neither can he.

Unbeknownst to you, Will has come out to check on you both. He stops in his tracks when he sees the two of you wrapped up in each other. His heart swells in his chest, and he can’t help but smile. He knows that this won’t change anything between you and Frankie. It’s just the comfort he needed – you both needed. He makes his way back inside quietly, grateful for the both of you and the way you look after each other.

Eventually, you both pull apart. Frankie rests his forehead on yours, and takes the first full breath he’s taken all day. His shoulders relax, his jaw unclenches. He’s okay, thanks to you.

“Thank you, cielito,” he murmurs.

“For what?”

“Everything. Knowing me better than I know myself. Knowing all of us better than we know ourselves.”

“Someone’s gotta keep you all alive,” you grin, and he chuckles, the vibration of it settling into your bones, warming you up from the inside out.

He pulls you back against his side, wrapping his arms around you. You both sit against the red brick, cold ground underneath you, for what feels like hours.

“There they are!” Santiago yells when he spots you both.

“Mom, Dad, can we go home?” Benny jokes, clearly down one drink too many.

“Of course we can, baby,” you smile, pulling Frankie to his feet with you.

You all clamber into Frankie’s truck – you riding shotgun, the other boys crammed in the back. You reach for your drivers hand, and interlace your fingers, resting your palms in your lap. You hold onto him all the way home, and can’t help but notice how much lighter he seems.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

Santiago kissed you next.

The five of you were having a pool day at Frankie’s, trying to cool down in the Texan summer heat. It was rare, for all of you to have the same day off, so you planned to make the most of it.

The four boys were already in the backyard when you arrived. Letting yourself in, you made your way through the house, briefly stopping in the kitchen to put your popsicles in the freezer. You’d purposely picked the strawberry ones, knowing they were Frankie’s daughters favourite. She was at her mom’s house for the week, but you knew she’d be back at the weekend.

“Hey, honey!” Benny yells when he spots you at the back door.

All of them turn to look at you, and you’re slightly taken aback by all the golden skin on display. Benny is wearing swim shorts with an inseam that can’t be any more than 5 inches, strong thighs just begging to be bitten. Will’s navy shorts compliment his blond hair beautifully, and Santiago’s green ones bring out the dark brown of his eyes. Frankie still has his shirt on, but it hugs his biceps just right. Damn, you think. I might just have the most attractive best friends in the world.

They’re all grinning at you as you survey each of them. You know they don’t mind being ogled just a little.

“Eyes up here, princess,” Santiago teases, no seriousness whatsoever in his voice. You scoff and throw your head back in a laugh, all of them simultaneously joining you in your amusement.

You put down your bag and kick off your shoes, before grabbing the hem of your dress.

“Give us a show, Miss Supermodel,” Benny whistles, winking playfully.

You peel your dress over your head slowly, wiggling your hips as you go. You’re left in a little black bikini that admittedly doesn’t leave much to the imagination. You don’t mind. You’re safe here.

They’re all whistling and cheering, make you laugh. You never feel more appreciated than when you’re with these boys. It’s everything. They’re everything.

“It’s like Sports Illustrated in real life,” Frankie grins, bumping your shoulder with his.

“Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” Will says quietly when you catch his gaze. You roll your eyes playfully, but smile at him genuinely, silently thanking him.

Your eyes flicker to Santiago. He has a look in his eyes that you’ve never seen before. It’s more than his usual appreciation. It’s hungry, hot, burning. It makes your skin prickle, the hairs on your neck standing up. You have to get away from his stare before you jump his bones right in Frankie’s backyard.

“Want me to make you a margarita?” Frankie asks, innocently breaking through the moment.

“Yes, please. That sounds amazing.”

He smiles at you before retreating to the kitchen, Benny following him in search of beer.

The heat doesn’t ease up all day. It’s sweltering, covering you all in a sheen of sweat that can’t seem to be wiped away.

Santiago’s gaze doesn’t help your warmth. Every time you look over, he’s surveying you carefully, eyes raking over your body in a way that makes your breathing quicken. There’s always been chemistry between you, sure. You have chemistry with all of the boys. But it’s never been like this with Santiago. Yes, you flirt with each other – it’s in both of your natures. But this is different. This is real.

You spend all day lounging around. Frankie keeps you topped up with margaritas as you make trips in and out of the pool, messing around with the boys. Benny hoists you up onto his shoulders in the water, throwing you up into the air as high as he can and laughing when you splash back down. You and Will throw a ball back and forth, doubling over when he overshoots and hits Frankie, who’s soaking up the sun in a lawn chair. In the late afternoon, Frankie fires up the grill, preparing to barbeque for dinner.

“Pope, you gonna help me?” he shouts from the deck.

Santiago looks at you, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip, before joining him. You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding. There’s anticipation bubbling at the pit of your stomach, butterflies swirling. Warmth has settled in your core, and Santi’s heated glances are only fuelling the fire.

The sun finally gives you some respite in the early evening. You all settle on the grass, drinks in hand, laughing about nothing and everything. Benny’s telling you about his next fight, describing his opponent in hilarious detail. You look down, and realise your glass is empty.

“I’m gonna get a refill. Anyone want anything?” you ask, smiling as you watch Benny jokingly pretend to box his brother.

“Can you grab me a beer, princesa?” Santiago asks, pointed gaze trained on you.

You nod and make your way inside, praying that it’s cooler in the kitchen. The sun might have gone in, but the warmth in your core hasn’t left.

You reach into the fridge for the jug of margaritas that Frankie made earlier. You’re rising onto your tiptoes to fetch a new glass from the top of the cabinet when you feel a presence against your back. Santiago grabs one from the shelf and places it on the counter in front of you, leaning forward as he does it. His lips are brushing the shell of your ear, and you shudder out a breath.

“So you’re feeling it too, mi amor?” he murmurs.

“Yes,” you breathe. You’re worried you might combust if he keeps speaking to you in that deep, low, raspy tone of his.

“Don’t know what’s gotten into me. Can’t keep my eyes off you,” he whispers. He feels a shiver wrack through your body and chuckles.

You turn around to face him, and he steps forward, caging you in against the counter, arms on either side of you. You can’t go anywhere. You don’t want to.

“God, you’re so fuckin’ pretty,” he practically purrs.

He runs his thumb across your bottom lip, testing the waters. You catch it with your teeth and pull it into your mouth, biting down gently before sucking, not once breaking eye contact. He groans and tilts his head back, exposing his throat to you. You tangle a hand in the hair at the nape of his neck, and give him a look that says I dare you.

Santiago surges forward to capture your lips with his. It’s desperate and needy - a perfect representation of both of your states all day. He slips a strong thigh between your legs and pushes upward, making you whine. You’re pressing yourself into him, trying to get as close as possible. His hands are everywhere all at once – your hips, your hair, your back, your ass. He wants to feel all of you, and can’t decide where to start.

You feel drunk off of him as he kisses you. His tongue is making you melt, his steady hands the only thing keeping you upright. You could kiss him like this for hours, surrendering yourself to this man you call your best friend. This man you’ll love forever.

You’re so lost in each other that you don’t notice Will entering the kitchen. He clocks the situation in front of him and tries to exit silently, walking backwards out the way he came in. He knocks into the recycling bin, startling you and Santiago, causing you to jump apart and hit your head on the cabinet behind you.

“Shit, sweetheart, you okay?” Will asks, genuine concern etched on his face.

Santiago cradles the back of your head as he looks at you, eyes searching yours for any signs of pain.

“I’m good, I’m good, don’t worry,” you reassure them.

Will smirks at you and winks cheekily before he leaves, grabbing a beer on his way out.

“Oh god,” you groan, leaning forward to rest your head against Santiago’s chest. He strokes your hair lovingly, a laugh rumbling through him.

You both know Will isn’t going to say anything. He’s the most trustworthy one of them all. Always observing, never gossiping.

“Love you, hermosa,” he chuckles.

“Love you too, Santi,” you reply, wide smile painted on your face.

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

Will was the last to kiss you.

It had been a long time coming.

Some people think Will is hard to read. He’s introverted, quiet, a wallflower of sorts. But he isn’t hard to read. Not really. You just have to know what you’re looking at.

He’d called you up one Sunday morning, asking if you had plans. When you’d told him you didn’t, he invited you over for a day of pancakes and terrible movies. It sounded perfect.

Which is how you found yourself lying on Will’s couch, legs tangled together, your back to his chest. His strong arms have found home on your waist, wrapped around your middle. You’re not sure how you ended up here, as you started the movie on opposite ends of the sofa. No one’s complaining.

It’s rare, this kind of intimacy. Casual, effortless, easy. No thought goes into it. You just fall into each other as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

Will’s always had that gift. He makes people feel comfortable. No matter where you are, or what you’re doing, one look from those big blue eyes is all it takes to calm you down. It doesn’t matter if you’re being shot at on a battlefield, or just getting overwhelmed in a supermarket. Will’s there, and he knows exactly what you need. You’re convinced the man might be a mind reader, honestly.

He’s not, in fact, clairvoyant. He’s just a listener. No matter what you’re talking about, Will’s looking at you like you’re the centre of his universe. He’d be perfectly content to listen to your voice, to watch the way your eyes light up when you tell stories like this forever. You feel like the only girl in the world, as you lay here in his arms.

You’re deep in thought before you decide to break the silence, voice floating through the warmth of the room.

“Have you ever wanted to kiss me?”

You feel him hum from behind you before he answers softly.

“Every day since I met you.”

You nod gently before relaxing back into him, sighing in contentment.

“Have you ever wanted to kiss me?” he asks, mirroring your question.

“Not a day goes by that I don’t think about kissing you, William,” you murmur.

His arms tighten around you slightly, pulling you impossibly closer. He presses a kiss into your hair, and another to your bare shoulder.

You sit in the silence for a while, letting the questions hang heavy in the air. It’s not awkward – no, it’s the exact opposite. It’s comfortable.

“I’ve kissed Benny, Frankie and Santi,” you confess quietly. You’re not sure why, but it just feels like something you need to get off your chest. You don’t want him to judge you.

“I know,” he speaks softly. He knows. Of course he does.

“Does it make you think differently of me?” you query. You almost don’t want to know the answer.

“Of course it doesn’t,” he replies earnestly. “Why would it?”

“I don’t know. Just doesn’t look good for me, I guess.”

“That’s not true, sweetheart. They’re your best friends. You love them. A kiss doesn’t have to change anything - not always, anyway.” He pauses. “Do you regret any of it?”

“Not at all,” you whisper.

“Exactly. We all think the world of you. You should know that by now.”

You shift and turn so that you’re sitting in between his legs, facing him. You press your forehead into his, and he smiles gently.

“I love you,” you say softly.

“I love you too,” he replies, grinning widely.

Suddenly, he jumps off the couch, pulling you up with him.

“Let’s go outside,” he prompts, dragging you out the door behind him.

“Will, it’s raining!” you squeal as he practically carries you into the backyard.

He grabs you by the waist and spins you around, both of you laughing. The downpour has drenched you both, clothes sticking to your skin, hair dripping. He puts you down and looks at you as if he’s reading the words off the very surface of your soul.

Gently, he pushes the hair out of your face, moving it to behind your ears. He uses his thumb to catch a raindrop that’s making it’s way down your cheek, swiping it away. You’re both soaked through, but you can’t feel the cold. You feel the warmest you ever have, love illuminating your bones.

Will leans down and presses his lips to yours. His hands are on your waist, and he pulls you closer, plastering you together. It’s tender, and it’s sweet, and it’s a perfect amalgamation of Will. You’ve never felt more at peace.

When he pulls away, you remember his words from earlier.

“Does this kiss change anything?” you ask, megawatt smile etched on your face.

“Everything, sweetheart,” he replies, grinning widely. “It changes everything.”

✵ ✵ ·　 ✵ 　　 * · ✵

“You saved the best until last,” Will beams, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek.

The boys all scoff, laughing as they do it. You smile broadly, moving to peck his lips tenderly.

“Sure did.”

Benny and Santiago roll their eyes jokingly, while Frankie jabs them both with his elbows.

“Idiots,” he murmurs, still chuckling.

Will’s hand finds yours under the table. His fingers twist the ring you’re wearing absentmindedly, and he leans in to whisper in your ear.

“I love you, Mrs Miller.”

“I love you too, Mr Miller.”

“Guess I just had to kiss a few frogs to find my prince,” you wink at him, the whole table erupting into protests. You throw your head back in a laugh, your whole body vibrating with it. All four of them agree it’s their favourite sound in the world.

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sorenzi · 3 years ago

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With your very detailed post on how Vanitas and Noe are being paired in a romantic light where do you think the author will take their relationship? Especially with her past history of writing tragedies.

Hi Anon, Mochijun be prepping us for a whole new world of pain~

In all seriousness though, I think back to Mochijun’s interview about wanting to try things she wasn’t able to in Pandora Hearts. There’s plenty of fans who feel it’s a disrespect to compare similarities/differences PH with VnC, but contrary to this opinion, I think it a really great way to analyze her work as an artist/writer.

Mochijun only had 3 official works that she’s done both art and story lines for (Crimson Shell, PH and now VnC), PH was her first series that became notable on its own for it’s twists and turns, complex character development and relations. She was a new mangaka at the time too I think.

PH definitely wasn’t perfect, but it was a huge stepping stone for her career and her answers to the VnC interview tells me that she‘s fearless in her approach to storytelling while being intentional in her message to us. As a previous reader of her’s, I appreciate the methods of her delivery to us. When I read PH, the characters‘s passions and emotions seems to be asserted onto us already before the end when the 100 year mystery was being unraveled. When we are given a backstory for the characters, I definitely feel like there could have been more to explain, but due to the plot’s course, allusions to the Alice in Wonderland theme and multitude of characters, I think MochiJun knew her limits and that it would have strayed far than the Aesop she wanted to tell us. (My personal pet peeve was Celia’s character no longer relevant lol.) While some characters we can feel sympathy for because we relate to their situation, it was very impersonal until they met their ‘end’. This is an ‘end’ that Mochijun has described as a ‘meaningful death’ after they gave a final monologue or met a personal goal described in the VnC interview.

In VnC, it’s much different. It’s told through one character’s eyes and journey, we can feel what Noe feels, and feels the emotions of the other characters when he reads their memories. His monologue gives us context if we can not empathize with those characters. There’s a slower burn in appreciating a character‘s complexity but Noe’s lack of insight without memory reading to what’s around him creates an intense curiosity on our end that pulls us in. Is it biased? Sure is, but because of Noe’s naivety, role as the narrator and the Watson, the audience is also going along the journey with him. (And harbouring his regrets too…) .

The part where I begin to answer your question sry for the long pre-text

While my shipping instincts hope for VanitasxNoe to be canon, realistically, I think Mochijun will use Vanitas as a very important lesson for Noe, rather than firmly establish a relationship for the fandom. Remember that Noe’s role in the story is that a of a student as well. That lesson ties in with Teacher’s request of him: ‘When you learn about the people around the Book of Vanitas (who they are, what they do), how will you then define the Book of Vanitas? That is what I’m curious about.’

I like to believe the lesson Noe learns from Vanitas is ‘What is love?’ and ‘What is salvation?’ To an extent, what Noe learns will be the theme of VnC that Mochijun wants to tell the audience.

What is love?

Let’s bring back Mochijun’s answers from the VnC interview:

1) Mentions that Vani and Noe aren’t ‘buddies/best friends’ (like Dante teases Vani on). They are so different but they attract each other and make up for what the other lacks. They have each other’s back that way. She’s also mentioned their relationship is inspired by Sherlock/Watson.

2) She wanted to write more action scenes, write more on how love is portrayed and ‘meaningless’ deaths.

This last part about love and death, I think will be a slow burn. There were lots of ships in PH, but the love was either already established or displayed in the lens of loyalty or devotion. Kind of like a ‘savior’ manner one character does for the other because they felt the other individual deserved/owed it and would burn the world for them or whatever.

This... I found very impersonal as a reader (this is not me down playing PH’s magnificence). However in VnC, Noe almost starts off on this note with Vanitas, but after seeing reflecting what happened at the Bal Masque, Noe changes his view with Teacher’s advice, to learn about the people around the Book of Vanitas, rather than deduct if it harms Vampires. Here, he starts to see Vanitas as a flawed human being and tries understand him, rather that how his ideals shape him as a potential savior.

This is the love I think Mochijun wants to show us this time. Love as in the process to feel and bond throughout a period of time, rather than being established on what you believe the other to be or think should be. In short, can you learn to accept the other person for who they are and the changes they go through?

Important to note that Noe is/was raised without distain between the races. He doesn’t understand what ‘love’ is either. Although I keep bringing up that dance of romance in Memoire 12 for shipping discussion, there’s the look he gives when Vanitas said he’s not interested in the kind of person that would fall for him. Noe says ‘I don’t understand him’ and ‘I wouldn’t understand the feeling in my chest until much much later.’ Since then until the most recent Memoire, Noe repeats that he doesn’t know much about Vanitas’ past or even still, but has since learned the kind of person he is. Because Noe tries to see people who they are without prejudice, we are there to emphasize with his version of who Vanitas is in that moment. Although he can’t word his feelings, we know his moments with Vanitas mean something and became something too, despite Vanitas’ coldness toward him.

This is a turning point where Noe is experiencing love’s tenderness and pain even though he doesn’t know what it is. Love as in, the process it takes you to understand what means to you and who can share that with you, whether that be as a dear friend that you can rely on, or a devoted romantic partner to walk through life with for life.

A side note, Noe’s current understanding of ‘love’ is his tenderness and warmth towards things and individuals he cares about (maybe to his favourite dessert tarte tatin too). He’s doesn’t have exposure to romance at all due to being isolated in a forest with the occasional friends and Louis/Domi.

What is salvation?

The second thing about love is salvation, and to extension... death.

I mentioned ‘salvation’, as this is the second thing in the manga Noe says he doesn’t understand. But, the difference between love and salvation is that this is something that he’s already defined in his own terms before realizing that it could mean something else for another individual. Salvation to him, and still seems to be, is to be saved from death. Death to him, is a miserable end as he couldn’t bring it upon himself to kill Louis, yet is haunted by his execution and disgust of being saved by Teacher.

Noe’s discussion of salvation is brought up 4 times as much as I can recall.

First time is when Noe confronts Vanitas at Bal Masque (Vanitas turns Catherine to dust at her request)

Then at Ruthven’s office when he says Loki (Luca’s bro) doesn’t need to be cured as it doesn’t guarantee salvation to him but doesn’t delve further so Noe doesn’t bring it up again.

After they escape Moreau’s lab, Noe wonders if Vanitas, the one who keeps talking about saving others, is the one who wishes to be saved the most. But doesn’t push it further.

Lastly in Gedauvan, where he tells Vanitas he doesn’t know what salvation may look like to Chloe + Jean-Jacques, but he doesn’t want them to leave without trying out to cure them first after Vanitas says Chloe became a curse bearer of her own will

Noe‘s naivety, curiousity and idealism is a weakness, but he’s stubborn and before he wants to be proven wrong or give up, he will try until the very end and convince others to go with him, unless it causes significant danger to others. As far the story goes, he uses this as a driving factor to accomplish goals of granting salvation for others with Vanitas to cure curse bearers. This is his challenge to learn about the different perceptions of a deeply held belief and how he will react to it.

Lessons of Love vs. Salvation - Will Noe have to choose one over the other or will someone make that decision for him?

Truthfully, given Mochijun’s twists and unexpected turns, I don’t know where their relationship will head. Sometimes, I will routinely make up theories and what not, but I thought I should enjoy her work and mindfully keep in check my shipping tendencies and hyper vigilant theories.

But this also makes me think about the themes as she said she wanted to write about. What pain did Noe had to experience himself to write a whole memoire about this journey (other than Teacher influencing him)?

I wonder if Noe will encounter an issue where someone’s concept of salvation is love? If this individual has such a twisted concept of both that is beyond Noe’s understanding, what will he do and how will he define it?

^^^^^WHICH, brings me to Vanitas! Remember these two iconic quotes about love and salvation he tells Noe in their personal discussions?

‘I’m not interested in the person who would fall for me.’

‘I’ll do as I please, use the methods I choose and no matter what you people want, I will save you Vampires without fail!’

They both have no idea what ‘love’ is, but have a personal firm concept of what ‘salvation’ is. Vanitas is more liberal in his view though, as in if someone chooses their own salvation, he’ll grant it to them (or if the situation calls for it, he give it to them in his own manner regardless what that person wants), where Noe will try until the end to prevent death.

Johann has also mentioned that Noe has never killed anyone and has deducted that he just uses violence to shut someone up when he tries to have a civil discussion and is the type to hold back before fatally injuring the other. So we know Noe is not the type to deliberately hurt/use anyone. He cannot stand the idea of suffering and will do anything to help, we see him use up time to have the civil discussions which annoys Vanitas, but it works (so far).

Throughout the series, Noe gives a bit of affection and emotional support (’love’) to Vanitas where he needs it. This is the ‘process’ of love as I discussed above. The ‘salvation’ he may provide Vanitas may be that death he tells us about at the end of that journey, and perhaps remember who he was as he writes out VnC for us with his status as an Archiviste.

On the other hand, Vanitas who has issues with love and a complicated relationship to salvation, is slowly warming up to Noe, but the audience only sees snippets of this care in small increments and this is given more push for context from other characters like Dante and perhaps Jeanne (who romance with Vani might actually be canon). So the process of ‘love’ given by Vanitas will not be easy for the audience to experience alone as Noe’s since he is VnC’s POV narrator.

Hence, Vanitas’ actions of love and salvation towards Noe will be delivered in climatic point of the storyline which could be at the time when Noe will kill him. While other readers speculate or hope that Vanitas could cheat death with the Blue Moon’s power (rewritten into something), some ominous revival may happen, or some spiritual thing, I suspect Vanitas will actually be dead for real. Mochijun is not playing with us this time… but not like she ever was.

Remember the quote bubble from Memoire 1?

‘Noe, I won’t die Noe, even if I’m no longer here.’

This line I suspect, will be Vanitas’ display of love and salvation for Noe.

Vanitas knows Noe can’t stand death as an option for salvation without trying. He might have made a decision to die alone for whatever reason (ironic that he hates that) but doesn’t want Noe to feel the pain of killing another, or losing someone close to him again due to external factors or his own actions. (Noe’s abandonment issues). His quote takes the burden of responsibility of his death away from Noe. This part is the ‘love’ he offers to comfort Noe that he won’t ‘die’ and make it sounds like a goodbye instead, which kind of sounds like a blatant lie and a little cruel. That’s what Vanitas’ experience with love is like: cruel and painful. Noe, who’s love is gentle and tender, Vanitas returns it in the purest form he’s most familiar with in the most twisted scenarios.

The ‘salvation’ in Vanitas quote, is to cease additional despair, self-blame and burden for Noe who still laments the death of loved ones. But he does it in his own way (use the methods I choose, no matter what you want kind of deal) to tell Noe that he has to let go of these haunted thoughts, such as Louis’s death. To let go of him. Otherwise, Noe will eventually be harmed if he doesn’t, so I guess this may be a wake up call to him as Vanitas is gone. I think Vanitas might make that decision of love and salvation for Noe at the very last moment.

Noe’s lesson is to accept that, or learn to acknowledge that love can be cruel, painful and that salvation will have forms of sacrifice. Noe will have to learn to let go, accept the ‘consequences’ of the decisions he made and live well. This won’t be a happy end for either of them. Or us.

Yeah, I suspect this might be a defining point of the VnC that Mochijun wants to understand about ‘love’.

Umm this was long ramble, but thank you for the ask anon! I got lots of thoughts running through my head but I think this is enough for me to get back to other life responsibilities in the mean time before Memoire 55 comes out.

#Daily rambles #answering asks #noe x vanitas #vanitas no carte #the case study of vanitas #les memoires de vanitas #noe archiviste #Vanitas #vnc vanitas #Mochizuki jun #Analysis #book theories #vnc spoilers #vnc theory #Otp 2.0 #thank you for reading my essay

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irondad-not-ironsad · 3 years ago

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A little late, but here are the notes I took during my first listen to the red vault tracks (yes I listened to ten minute all too well first), if this seems rambly and nonsensical it’s because I was taking them in real time and progressively becoming more wine drunk throughout 😂

ATW 10 minute

THE INTRO IS DIFFERENTTTTTTTT

IMMACULATE VIBES OMGGGGGGG

ITS SO DIFERENT AND THERE HAVENT EVEN BEEN NEW WORDS YETTT

EVEN THE ORIGINAL LYRICS SOUND DIFFERENT

big pop vibes I love it

SHE SAID FUCK

HE NEVER SAID I LOVE YOU

JAKE HAD COMMITMENT ISSUES

SHIT

IM GOING TO LISTEM TO THAT BIT AGAIN RN

HITTING TO HARD TAYLOR

SHIIIIIIIIIT

SHES COMING FOR HIS THROAT

SHIT SHE CAME FOR HIS PREDATORY ASS

maturity is seeing how back them she cut all the lyrics referring to the game gap but now she’s grown and is unashamed to call out his bullshit

This long outro gives me “I promised ten minutes so I gotta stretch this” vibes but I love it

Second listen time

Starting with this was a mistake because now I can’t bring myself to stop looping it

This is my new favorite thing ever this is all ok gonna talk about for weeks

“Anytime now he’s gonna say it’s love, you never called it what it was” I needed to hear that

YOU KEPT ME LIKE A SECRET BUT I KEPT YOU LIKE AN OATH GIRLLLLLLLL

They say all’s well that ends well what the fuckkkkk

“If we had been closer in age maybe it would’ve been fine” Taylor I’m so sorry girl he didn’t deserve you

“It’s supposed to be fun turning 21” go off papa swift

Ronan

Not gonna give to much commentary here but it’s beautiful and devastating and I’m sobbing

(Also my roommate doesn’t understand Ronan and she’s listening in album order so she doesn’t get why I’m crying)

Better Man

Amazing vibes from the intro

SHE SOUNDS SOOOOO GOOD

whole different lens hearing jake songs post ten minute all too well

Nothing new

Confession I’ve never heard a phoebe bridgers song beg for so I’m hyped and hoping she has a verse

Oh noooooo right off the bat huh

Ugh I wanna hug 22 year old Taylor

Is this phoebe?!

I LOVE HER VOICE

This is perfection

I think this is my favorite kind of musical vibes

Okay but 9 years later and Taylor is still thriving I wish 22 year old Taylor could see her now

BABE

it’s so pop but it’s a much needed break from sobbing I hope?

I heard her sing this live on rep tour but this is so different

Im dancing like it’s still sad but it’s a sad bop

How was she so brilliant in her early twenties? Like I’m around the age she was then and I couldn’t imagine being this genius

THE BRIDGE IS IMMACULATE

MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE

1989 vibes

was not expecting it to be this POP I love it

I just wanna dance to this at a club

Like ultimate early 2010s pop vibes

This is enchanted but more upbeat and pop I can’t explain it just is

Like big “we’re not officially a thing but I could really see this going somewhere and it scares me and thrills me all at once”

I Bet You Think of Me

Is this country/folksy vibes I detect?

Love the storytelling spoken singing vibes

I FUCKING LOVE THIS IS THAT A FUCKING HARMONICA OOOOO

her talking about his snooty friends reminds me of the academic snobs in my philosophy classes

I love the yeehaw vibes juxtaposed with criticizing there snobbiness

FUCK JAKE GYLLENHAL GO FOR HIS THROAT GIRLLLLLLL

Imagine thinking Taylor swift wasn’t good enough for you

“When you say oh my god she’s insane she wrote a song about me” I love this

Also not Chris only getting backing vocals, iconic

This is red’s mr perfectly fine

Forever Winter

I’m scared

Love this intro but I know imma cry

This is speak now meets evermore

Okay lyrics reminding me of renegade

The naivety of thinking you can fix a guy is beautifully captured here

Wait is this song about trying to stop someone from commenting suicide?

If so this is a whole new layer of devastating

Run

1234 I LOVE

was not expecting this to be slow

But I’m in love with it

Is this a love song? Awwww

About a hidden relationship it seems

Don’t come for me but I like this more than everything has changed

This is adorable

Oh no sadness in the bridge

Ok I loved that

The Very First Night

Immediately speak now vibes which I love

Ooh that bass

Okay pop vibes now

1989 is that you?

This went from speak now to red to 1989 in less than a minute

Iconic

Not at all what i expected but I am obsessed

GORGEOUSSSSSSS

#red tv #taylors version #all too well #atw 10 minute version #red reaction #red #Taylor swift #Taylor #blondie

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katcadecascade · 4 years ago

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Reuniting Strings (Zuko’s Scar oneshot)

Summary:

Toph asks, “What were you in for?”

“You can’t just ask that!”

“I just did, Sugar Queen.”

Chit Sang laughed over them, “Are you sure you all want to know? It’s a long story.”

An array of emotions is on everyone’s faces. Toph, Aang, The Duke, and Teo are genuinely curious. As fellow ex-prisoners, Hakoda, Haru, and Suki don’t seek an explanation but like Sokka and Katara, they want the topic to get away from Azula.

Zuko knows that the people who end up in the Boiling Rock are people the Fire Nation wants to ignore. It could be for any reason, politics or crime or revolts be it violently or nonviolently, he doesn’t know where Chit Sang categories into.

“Oh that sounds intriguing,” Toph answers for them, “Yes please.”

Chit Sang looks around the circle, mentally preparing his story. His eyes land on Zuko. The older man doesn’t appear nervous but there is something hesitant in the way he unlocks the tension in his jaw.

“I used to be a guard in the royal palace, tasked with escorting generals in and out of their meetings.”

Immediately, Zuko freezes.

Because they used a fishing trip as their cover story for doing a prison break, Toph bullied Zuko and Sokka into actually fishing for dinner.

Toph was craving fish.

She also punched both boys’ arms because she cares.

Fortunately they have Hakoda, an expert fisherman, to help. Unfortunately Katara tagged along because she wanted family bonding. She shooed Zuko away as the family headed to the nearest river.

He doesn’t complain about that so he reviews Aang on his homework.

Zuko never really imagined himself as a teacher, that was Uncle’s role and honestly Zuko was not the best student. While Aang would occasionally whine or stumble through a kata, the kid wasn’t as near temperamental as Zuko once was, thank the spirits.

It’s a bit relaxing to focus on Aang’s training after the adventure Zuko and Sokka just did. Zuko just needed to get his mind off of Azula. There was a lot to unpack there, especially her supposed case with Suki, but Zuko believes a good hour of not thinking about his sister is deserved.

The Water Tribe family gets to have time together, being happy that they’re all alive. Zuko can’t help but notice that only the siblings have ever talked about parents.

So after Zuko ends Aang’s bending review, the Avatar does his cool down stretches and says, “I wonder what number of prison breakouts this is. We did a lot.”

Zuko doesn’t blink at this fact, too used to the hectic stories they vaguely explained.

“Well, be prepared for Sokka to retell this break out or maybe the Chief will?”

“Yeah, Hakoda and also Bato are great storytellers,” Aang nods enthusiastically. As they leave the temple’s training grounds, Aang comments, “Gotta say, Sokka’s the last person I thought would spontaneously do a prison break.”

“What. Is Katara more revolutionary?” Aang just stares at Zuko. “Okay yeah, she is but Sokka really wanted to do this. He risked it all to save his dad.”

“Sokka really loves his dad, Katara too of course, but for him it was about proving himself as a warrior.”

“Yeah, he told me something similar,” Zuko said.

“They’d do anything for their family,” the young boy smiles. In the slow sunset, a shadow lingers over Aang as he glances over to a temple mural of nomads. “The first time I went into the Avatar State was back at the Southern Air Temple.”

A huge amount of dread burns low in Zuko’s gut.

“Oh Aang,” he trailed off, thinking of the century old skeletons.

Aang stood in front of the mural. It depicted monks shaping clouds. “Katara calmed me down, said that I was a part of their family now. And when we met Bato, he said I was a part of the Tribe too.”

Zuko moved to Aang’s right side, “The Water Tribe is all about community, right?”

He nodded, “Monk Gyatso and the others were my people but they taught me that anyone could be my family.” A conflicted expression flickers over Aang. “I met a guru. He said that in order for me to master the Avatar State I have to let go of my love. I couldn’t accept that. All I had was love and I don’t want to give that up.”

There is so much about the Avatar that people will never know. Their sacrifices and decisions and mistakes, it is influential to the world and the spirits. Only a selected few will be able to see how each Avatar lives and dies.

Zuko is lucky to know the depths of two Avatars.

“If there’s one thing I know,” Zuko places a hand on Aang’s shoulder, “is that the Avatar will always find love and family. Like Roku.”

Aang smiles brightly, “Yeah, like Roku. He showed me his past.” The smile dips into a loopy hopeful tone, “He got married to a girl he had a crush on.”

Zuko knows that he’s thinking about Katara but Zuko can’t help but latch onto something else, “Was that all of his family that you learned?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” Aang questioningly stares at Zuko with that Avatar wisdom, “Why, is there something you know, Zuko?”

Feeling targeted, Zuko quickly weighs the consequences of telling Aang.

Is he prepared for dealing with an energetic all-powerful kid?

In the corner of his eye, the sunset shines fading pinks and oranges on the faded murals of a nearly gone nation.

Yeah, there’s no harm in telling Aang he has a bigger family than he thought.

“So Roku is my mom’s grandfather.”

Immediately, Aang is hugging Zuko. No doubting, just clear acceptance and joy. In return, Zuko slowly hugs back, gently butting his head against Aang’s. Whatever is going on in that bald noggin, Zuko hopes that this helps him.

When they reach the main temple area, the sky is still that warm orange tone. Everyone has rounded up for the hefty amount of fish the Water Tribe has brought. A fire is already up with fish skewers roasting.

Sokka waves Zuko over for the empty spot next to him and Suki. As for Aang, he normally sits with Katara who has a vegetable meal readied but Aang takes his sweet time before that.

The Avatar’s super big grin is the only warning of Zuko’s misery.

“We have another family reunion!”

“I regret telling you.”

Zuko covers his eyes, not ready to see everyone’s confusion shift into amusement.

“What are you on about Twinkle Toes?”

“Aang stop.” Zuko is ignored.

“I’m Zuko’s great-grandfather!”

Unlike Aang, there is casted doubt and confusion so Zuko explains shortly, “Uncle told me that Avatar Roku is my ancestor.”

“The Dragon of the West?” Chit Sang, their impromptu prison break escapee, specified in the only context he knew.

“Yep.”

Back to the main topic, Sokka laughs, “So wait that means Aang has parental authority over you.”

“It does not.”

“Come on Zuko,” Aang elbows him jollily, “Learn to respect your elders.”

“Maybe after you master firebending I will,” he huffed, moving away to sit by Sokka.

“Don’t turn your back on me mister!” Aang poorly used an old man impersonation.

At least the jest ends there as dinner gets served.

That’s when Toph points out, “That also makes you Azula’s great-grandfather.”

Everyone gets quiet, preferring to chew on their fish kabobs.

“Huh,” Aang says around his fried eggplant, “I’m not ready for that family reunion.”

“I think she’d be elated,” Suki said, “Azula loves drama.”

“She loves reactions,” Zuko specified, “thrives off it really.”

“Oh and then she’ll do that scowl before forcing a smile.”

“It’s not forced. She’s just instantly thinking ten steps ahead where she’s winning.”

Suki taps her chin, “Okay, that makes a lot more sense.”

Being in the middle, Sokka was constantly whipping his head back and forth. Eventually a look of recognition passes through Sokka, Toph, and Aang. Yet out loud, someone else comments on this.

“It’s you who the Princess always visited,” Chit Sang concluded as if he solved a big mystery. “We heard rumors that she was interrogating a prisoner but no one really knew who.”

“Well she can’t visit me anymore,” Suki chirped and bit fiercely into her fish. She probably senses Sokka’s distress because she automatically leans into his side.

“What about you?” Toph asks, “What were you in for?”

It’s like Toph knows she’s the only one who can appall Katara without any consequences.

“You can’t just ask that!”

“I just did, Sugar Queen.”

Chit Sang laughed over them, “Are you sure you all want to know? It’s a long story.”

“Oh that sounds intriguing,” Toph answers for them, “Yes please.”

“I used to be a guard in the royal palace, tasked with escorting generals in and out of their meetings.”

Immediately, Zuko freezes.

He escorted generals to war councils. That detail lights something on fire in Zuko as Chit Sang continues.

“These old generals get a little too comfortable in the palace, thinking that they’re rubbing elbows with the elites. One day I escorted a group of generals out. One starts badmouthing something that went down in the meeting, how his speech or whatever got interrupted.”

No…

Oh no.

Everyone around the campfire is quiet. Zuko can’t run off without any of them noticing. Spirits, Sokka is right next to him too. Zuko tries to ignore Sokka glancing at him, likely sensing the distress Zuko is keeping at bay.

“The general complained about the naivety of a kid. How if soldiers enlisted for war, they should be prepared to die for whatever plan they and the Fire Lord approves of.”

Subtly, Zuko takes a deep breath.

No, he decides, he has to stay seated. Zuko owes that to the victims of this story. He also ignores the numb feeling in his legs, shackles of shame rooting him.

Somehow Chit Sang is a part of this three year old tale. It feels alarmingly similar to another man Zuko knows.

“That’s when I recognized this general.” He rolled his eyes with fond amusement, “My brother complained all about him in his letters.”

Hakoda laughed, instantly getting it, “New warriors just love to rag on their captains, don’t they?”

“It’s the best way to make friends in your fraction,” agrees Chit Sang but his lighthearted tone is gone as he states, “My younger brother and cousin were of the 41st Division.”

(“I have a daughter, a little older than you. She joined the army and hoped to later transfer over to the navy unit. She really wanted to serve under my command but first she was sent off to with the other new recruits.”)

A weight drops in Zuko’s stomach as two conversations are overlapping, one around the temple’s fire and another from the past. It brings back cold sea air with its words.

“Anyway, the general keeps yapping. The interrupter is sentenced to fight for his honor. In my head I can’t understand why this went to such extremes. That is until the day of the Agni Kai match.”

“What’s an Agni Kai?” Teo asked.

“A traditional firebending duel of honor,” the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe answered much to everyone’s surprise. “I always heard stories but it’s usually about soldiers, not generals.”

“It used to be a just soldier thing,” Chit Sang nodded, “or maybe you’re thinking about something we called the Ten Duel Commandments. Anyway, Agni Kai fights eventually became a political power move. This one is different. Only the top elites and highest ranking officers were allowed access. But this was the royal arena, there were guards stationed at the doors outside.”

“Is this where you come in?” Aang leaned in, both impatient and eager to learn more. “You got arrested for stopping the fight?”

“No,” he said with shame, “I didn’t know who was up to fight. I’m not sure anyone really knew until it happened. Even then, I don’t know if anyone had the guts to stop this match.” Chit Sang drew in a deep breath and the campfire mirrored it. “How could a simple guard stop the Fire Lord from burning his… young subject.”

Zuko bit his lip. The need to plead and beg Chit Sang to stop talking is at the forefront of his mind.

Instead when Chit Sang meets his gaze, Zuko nods subtly.

He wants to hear the end of this.

“We all wondered why this happened, how something so disrespectful occurred in the front of the Fire Lord for this Agni Kai. The guards and I tried to piece it together the day after. One guard heard it was a dispute in the war meeting, I knew it was about a plan for the 41st, and another guy remembered how that general was notorious for losing his youngest troops.”

The firebenders could all see everyone trying to piece this together but they needed one last jigsaw to truly understand.

A part of Zuko wants them to never understand, to never know the end of this tale. He has a feeling if he asks Chit Sang to stop he will but Zuko actually prefers his narration over whatever Zuko could attempt.

Zuko nods again. He ignores Sokka’s inquisitive glance.

“Then two guards spoke up, said that General Iroh let the Crown Prince into the meeting.”

He had seconds to prepare himself so Zuko chose to stare at the fire and not the many eyes targeted on him.

“It wasn’t a pretty picture even with the scattered information I had,” Chit Sang filled up the silence, recounting the details, “The Prince spoke against a plan that would send the 41st Division to death. He participated in an Agni Kai for his beliefs but chose to not fight against his father.”

Zuko doesn’t look up, his eyes too captured by the bright whites and oranges dancing. He thinks his eyes are tearing up from the heat.

“I sent it all in a letter to my brother. I had no clue if it reached him.”

(“Months passed and I haven’t received any letters from my daughter. I got worried. She sent me so many letters during her basic training. I thought for sure I’d get a letter about her traveling through the Earth Kingdom.”)

“We don’t know what happened to them and it wasn’t long before I got arrested for leaking news about a royal scandal that could be detrimental for the Fire Lord’s image.”

“That’s why you were arrested?” Sokka barked with so much scorn, “You warned a troop that their general was sending them to die and Zuko, he…”

Zuko wills himself not to look at Sokka. He can’t imagine what is on everyone’s faces.

“Yep,” Chit Sang popped, “I got shoved into the next prison transport and haven’t heard any news of the outside world ever since.”

(“Instead I and other families got silence or were told to wait for any reports. I pulled some favors to get answers but it was unsuccessful.”)

In a small voice, Toph asks, “You don’t know what happened to the division?”

That fact has haunted the prince for years. It automatically had Zuko hopelessly say, “No one does.”

(“An official report said that the 41st Division reached the Earth Kingdom and that was it. Nothing else. No letters ever came back from the general in charge.”)

“Actually,” Chit Sang began and this time, Zuko tears his eyes away from the fire to meet the other bender, “My buddy landed in the Boiling Rock a year later and told me something. At some point, my mom got a letter. It was from my brother. The 41st didn’t believe my info and by then they were already docked at the Earth Kingdom, headed to secure a hill near Ba Sing Se.”

It’s like Zuko’s tongue can’t decide if it’s too heavy to move or impatient to spew words. “And then what?”

He meets Zuko’s eyes, a fateful determination flaring up, “My brother and cousin vowed to keep their division alive, whatever it takes. They didn’t write back what they planned to do. They did mention that they’ll do it for the Crown Prince because he saw honor in them.”

“I don’t, what I did,” the former prince shook his head, his voice raw and cracking, “Are they even alive?”

“I have hope,” he said, “That’s all I got left.”

There’s a heavy emptiness in the temple ruins. Zuko tries his mightiest to not make a noise as tears well up in his eyes.

After all these years, Zuko gets new information. It’s not the best one, a vague confirmation at best, but it’s still something. A burning part inside rip apart the hovering sentence of the 41st Division seeing honor in their Prince.

Now if only Zuko and the soldiers’ family knew if those kids are alive or not.

Sokka broke the solemn silence, “Hey Chit Sang, what did your brother looks like?”

The Water Tribe boy gets a lot of raised eyebrows but Chit Sang shrugs.

“He looks kind of like me but bigger eyebrows,” he described, “and my cousin, she has a mole under her nose.”

Now that sends an alarmed look between the original trio.

“Wait Sokka, you don’t think,” Katara trailed off.

“What,” Zuko rushed, his body shaking, “What are you talking about?”

“My first firebending teacher,” Aang answered with a peace that Zuko envies, “Jeong Jeong the Deserter. At his camp there were a lot of people, both young and old.”

“One of them, she had a mole right here,” Sokka tapped under his right nostril.

“That’s my cousin,” Chit Sang breathed out heavily. In fact his whole body nearly collapses with that breath.

This man got his resolution but others have not.

“Did you learn any of their names?” Zuko asked with an intensity he can’t contain.

Three heads shook no.

(“What’s your daughter’s name, Lieutenant?”)

(“Jiang.”)

“Jiang,” Zuko repeated, not that any of them knew he was repeating the name, “Did you hear that name at all at that camp?”

Again they shake their heads but Chit Sang tilts his.

“Jiang, right? Wong and Kari mentioned her in a letter,” the older firebender smiled reassuringly. “She’d be with them. They’re all good friends.”

Hope, it’s hard to believe in hope alone because most of the time it is shapeless. At this moment in a temple ruins, surrounded by people who were originally known as his enemies, they gave Zuko hope.

“They’re alive,” he utters between trembling lips.

“Because of you,” The former guardsman stood up and walked over to him. “You stood up for them, burned for them,” Chit Sang bowed to Zuko, his hands in form of the symbolic flame, “You have my gratitude, My Prince.”

(“Thank you for seeing the value in their lives, My Prince,” Lieutenant Jee bowed, his hands formed the symbolic flame.)

Around Zuko there are a million other conversations. Shocked and processing this all, appalment at the war council, disbelief the horrible reality of who the Fire Lord is, and how this is the life that shaped Zuko.

It all burns Zuko. The origin of his inferno was his honor, a subjective identity he burned into his soul. He may have regrets for speaking out of turn, for disobeying his father’s order to fight, and for a thousand other things but Zuko does not regret speaking against the planned death of the 41st Division.

The price of that was not the burn or the scar or the banishment but the unknown if his efforts meant anything.

Zuko stands with shaking knees, still registering the massive amount of information, and bows to Chit Sang, his hands formed as the respected flame.

“Thank you,” Zuko’s throat is beyond dry, his core knocked out of orbit only to rush back to into place.

The silence returned to hear his small words, vulnerable to their sudden new light of Zuko.

Now that Zuko is paying attention, most of his friends look sick as they stare at his scar. He doesn’t mean to avoid their eyes but he faces Toph, her blindness taking the edge away from all of this.

Yet again, Toph is the one to initial the heavy topic, “Your father and your scar…”

He doesn’t want to say it out loud, it would be easier to just nod or do nothing but it’s Toph, Zuko doesn’t want to leave her in silence. “Yes, he gave me my scar.”

That is the first time Zuko has ever verbally acknowledged the rawest truth of that event.

For years he worded around it with verbs of rightly punished, branded as dishonor, or a million other self-loathing ideologies that burned angry, pride, and shame throughout Zuko.

He takes a deep breath and on the exhale, Zuko feels a little lighter.

This is chapter ten of my fic Petals in a Storm. It is an abo au of Avatar and I know that isn’t really everyone’s cup of tea. But this chapter is one my favorite things I have ever written since it is my take on the whole Zuko’s scar trope. So I edited out the minor bits about abo and this could be read as just another oneshot about the scar.

Thanks for reading!

#zuko #zukos scar #my fic #atla fic #zuko fic #atla zuko #atla chit sang #chit sang

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smokeybrandreviews · 5 years ago

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Smokey brand Reviews: What Is a Man

I wanted my next review to be The Invisible Man but i keep putting that thing off. I think it’s the pacing. it’s kind of funky. I’ll get around to it eventually. Spoiler alert, it’s pretty interesting so far. In the meantime, i finally caught up on a show that dropped and didn’t see when it first released; Castlevania! I passed on actually reviewing he first two season, well, season and a half. That first season was, like, six episodes. This ain’t the BBC, son. Thirteen or bust! Anyway, since we’re about three days from being under marital law, i figure i got time to revisit and review the series so far. Plus, i mean, i need to catch up since the fourth season has already been announced. F*cking Netflix, man. In that vein, pun in tended, here is my review of the series as a whole so far.

The Good

This show is not anime. It’s not. Avatar is not anime. It’s not. This is a sanitized facsimile of what the Japanese do with their animation. Stop calling this sh*t anime! That said, on it’s own, outside of that hilariously unflattering comparison, it can be pretty dope. I don’t think this sh*t holds a candle to studios like Trigger, Madhouse, Gainax, or Shaft, but it’s the best animation coming out of the US i’ve seen in years. The fight scenes in particular are absolutely gorgeous. You can really tell that Netflix invested the necessary resources to make this show look dope, even if the framerate is a little iffy between set pieces.

Now that i’ve died on my anime cross, i just want to acknowledge how good this show looks. It’s f*cking gorgeous, man. I mean, the world, alone, is a feat for the eyes, but i am absolutely in love with the character designs. If you google the characters from the games they are mad cluttered and full of extra nonsense. I’m never a fan of, like, flair on my characters. That’s why i hate the look of Mortal Kombat. That sh*t is gross. Castlevania has that same issue, culminating in the design vomits of Judgement. That game was gross to look at. Gross. This show takes the ludicrously gaudy designs of the games and make them presentable while still paying homage to the core design of the games. Sh*t is miraculous and i can’t help but marvel at that ingenuity. I mean, f*cking Carmilla, dude. Just look up Carmilla in the games and tell me this show ain’t good at it’s job.

Castlevania’s writing is kind of miraculous. As a cat that’s been playing these games since the late 80s, I’m mildly aware of the interconnecting lore between titles. It’s a mess. It’s a goddamn mess. There’s a dope story there, in the muck, but it’s so mired in melodrama, retcon, and years upon years of independent development, it’s completely lost. I appreciate Konami giving storytelling a shot during a time when gameplay was the principal seller of games, they didn’t have to do any of that, but, at some point, clean your sh*t up with a manga or reboot or something, man. The later titles do this sh*t fine. I adore Shanoa and Soma. Their games got the best of both worlds. The Belmonts? Not so much... This show does an amazing job of cutting through the bullsh*t and sharpening that story to a fine point. This is Trevor’s story, the first Belmont we take control of in game, so watching his line grow through the years, with this quality of storytelling, is mad compelling. I mean, you get right into it and it grips you from start to finish. I can’t wait to see where this goes.

The character work in this show is pretty legit. I was thoroughly surprised since the games themselves are rather bare bones and nauseatingly campy at times. Not this show. Nope! This sh*t is grim, dark, and violent. I love it! You can feel the plight one people and the rage of the vampires. Each main character s is beset with pathos and trauma and consequence, for two seasons. Season three is kind of light on growth but does a decent job explaining certain things. Like, this is Belmont’s tale but Sypha is definitely the most interesting character in the show. Everyone does a great job but there are, of course, a few standouts.

Speaking of my girl, did i tell you that Sypha is f*cking amazing? Ma is the most adorable, most badass motherf*cker in this show! I thought she was going to be kind of a weenie, like she is in the games, but nope! Ma is out here, burning motherf*ckers alive and slicing dudes up with ice blades, all the while being her peppy, adorable, kind of bloodthirsty self. F*ck, love Sypha and her voice actress, Alejandra Reynoso, is perfectly cast! She bring a levity and vulnerability to a woman who can take on an army all y her lonesome. I love that sh*t!

I have to mention how dope Dracula is in this how. He’s f*cking badass and, surprisingly, hilarious. His wit is as sharp as his fangs. Even with such overwhelming power, dude is still amazingly human, often time reminding you that he is just a broken, lonely, man. It’s incredible to see. you actually empathize with an entity hellbent of slaughtering humanity. I couldn’t believe that sh*t. A lot of that has to do with the writing but Graham McTavsh does an excellent job delivering those subtle emotional cues.

I feel like is should say something about Richard Armitage’s Trevor Belmont. Dude is dope. he’s how i always imagined Trevor to be. And Armitage is a seasoned veteran at this voice acting game so he does a great job. I’m not blown away or anything but he’s dope. Considering dude is kind of a supporting character in his own show, i think my indifference is warranted. He’s good, though, don’t misunderstand. I’m not decrying his performance or anything. Gold star for sure.

The best thing about season three, outside of my darling Sypha, is Lenore. Holy sh*t is she a great character! I was thoroughly surprised by how brazenly manipulative she turned out to be. Lenore is a f*cking genius and her feigned naivety is brought to life by an absolutely outstanding performance from Jessica Brown Findlay. Ma is on the long con and Carmilla might have some competition to look for.

I like Issac. This last season did wonders for developing his character. His arc is probably the best after Syph’s, mostly because he’s the only other character that even had an arc. His voice actor, Adetokumboh M'Cormack, does a great job developing the enigmatic Forgemaster into a character more than his humdrum game origins.

The Bad

This show is not anime! Stop telling me it’s an anime!

Alucard’s arc in season three was a little... me. I thought he was the one character let down by the writing but it’s not a terrible slight. I just felt he deserved more of a exploration than what he received.

Season three was straight up filler. I guess it has that in common with anime, even though most modern anime ha move away from the Filler system. I mean, i liked a lot of what went on and the character work was delightful but none of this is really of consequence. Most characters either didn’t grow or are exactly who we thought they were. It feels cheap.

Hector. What the f*ck, Hector. What the f*ck.

The Verdict

Season One showed a ton of potential. I enjoyed the whole Dracula arc, even though this was more a story about his disillusionment with humanity rather than how he became Dracula. Season two is the Castlevania know from the games. It was dope seeing that narrative removed from the shenanigans of that Konami narrative jank. I thought they id the characters dope ass justice and the story itself, was rather compelling. I didn’t mind the character changes and the stuff they added felt organic. Season three is the closest thing to a slice of life anime i’ve seen in this show and it’s ridiculous. Like, nothing really happens of consequence and it feels like setup for later seasons but it’s easily the best looking of the three seasons.

Overall, as a whole, Castlevnia is really good. It’s easily one of the best video game adaptions available. This show takes it’s liberties, of course, but it does so in a very respectful manner. The core of the Castlevania lore is revered and embellished with creative additions while keeping the characters true to their game selves. For the most part. I really enjoyed thee character of Dracula when he was around and, oh my god, Lenore is the goddamn best! Sypha is the MVP of this show, though, and i need you people to know that. The art style is beautiful, the narrative is compelling, and you’ll fall in love with the character work. Castlevania is dope and you should go binge all of it since there is literally nothing else to do under quarantine.

#Smokey brand Reviews #Castlevania

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smokeybrand · 5 years ago

Text

Smokey band Reviews: What Is a Man

The Good

The Bad

This show is not anime! Stop telling me it’s an anime!

Hector. What the f*ck, Hector. What the f*ck.

The Verdict

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shemakesmusic-uk · 4 years ago

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Liverpool based artist and new name to the music scene - Amber Jay ended 2020 by giving us the first teaser of her debut EP with her single ‘Pencilled Brims’ - a futuristic synth fueled bedroom-pop adventure. Now, Amber Jay is delighted to be able to share the stunning visuals for ‘Pencilled Brims’ with her new 80s themed sci-fi video: "It all begins at a dinner table. We see the image of a 'nuclear' family tucking into stacks of waffles with syrup but it is clear that something is not quite right. After stumbling across a ‘how to know if you're an alien' quiz in a magazine, hiding under the kitchen table at night I take the quiz searching for answers. Everything starts to make sense as matters appear to take an extraterrestrial turn."

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London-born Dublin-based singer-songwriter Anna B Savage is sharing new track, 'Baby Grand,' the final single from her debut album A Common Turn, to be released Jan 29 via City Slang. 'Baby Grand' is both the title of Anna B Savage’s latest single from her debut LP and the title of a short film she has been working on with ex-boyfriend and filmmaker, Jem Talbot, to be released later this year. The pair have co-directed the 'Baby Grand' music video, which reworks a scene from the film and blurs the lines of reality where art imitates life imitating art imitating life. The cross-discipline, cross-genre piece seamlessly blends real life footage with actors portraying the pair’s younger selves. Savage says of the music video: “Jem was my first love. For three years we’ve been working on a film together about our past relationship. This song is written about a night Jem and I had, just after we’d started work on the film. This night was – like much of the filmmaking process – very confusing. Taut with unexpressed emotions, vulnerability, and miscommunication. 'Baby Grand' (the film) and A Common Turn (album) are companion pieces: woven together in subject, inspiration and time. Jem was, for want of a better word, a muse for A Common Turn. Expressing ourselves through our different mediums (mine: music, his: film) became a way for our disciplines to talk, perhaps in place of us.” Talbot says, “Having not spoken to me in seven years, Anna sent me a text out of the blue saying she’d had a dream about me. Perhaps by chance, or by cosmic serendipity, I’d been listening to her EP and already dreaming up a film idea the two of us could collaborate on. Three years later, she’s releasing her debut album and I’ve finished that film. In that time, both our mediums have been in a constantly shifting dialogue with each other, a dialogue that has mirrored the ebbs and flows of our connectedness in the present day."

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Anna Leone releases a new single ‘Once’, produced by Paul Butler (Michael Kiwanuka, Hurray For The Riff Raff) and released via AllPoints/Half Awake. Released alongside a stunning video shot on The Azores, the new single follows 2020’s ‘Wondering’ - also produced by Butler - which arrived close on the tail of Stockholm native Anna’s win at the 2020 Music Moves Talent Awards (alongside Flohio, girl in red and Pongo). Rueful but unmistakably hopeful, ‘Once’ considers naivety, regret and efforts to break certain patterns of behaviour with Leone’s disarming candor and the bell-like clarity of her voice. The track’s quietly insistent urging to move past impulses to close off from the world is brought to life in Savannah Setten’s startlingly surreal video, created with Anna on The Azores. With the changeable weather systems of the Portuguese archipelago mirroring the tender, dream-like sequence, Anna notes; "The narrative loop comes from the idea of being stuck in your ways, going through the same patterns, but then choosing to break out of that and do things differently. Towards the end I reconcile with the past, symbolised by the little girl. I choose to embrace what once was in order to move forward. It was incredible getting to shoot the video in that beautiful environment. The weather was really unpredictable - we went through almost all four seasons in one day."

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London-based Danish-born singer-songwriter Amalie Bryde has revealed her powerful new single ‘Lay Down’. A bold commentary on gender inequality, ‘Lay Down’ confronts what it means to be a woman in the 21st century and sees Amalie refuse to surrender to stereotypes. With a catchy jazz sound at its core, Amalie’s elegant vocals are layered with playful whistles that create a vibrant track with bags of confidence. It’s video - directed by Luke Logan - is equally striking, and sees many different versions of Amalie joined together by a rope that restricts their movement before they’re finally able to break free and stand up. It’s an empowering representation of the song's message, and perfectly demonstrates Amalie’s promise as an artist - she’s original, driven and not afraid to express herself. Speaking of the release, Amalie explains: “In ‘Lay Down’ I sing about a man only wanting to have sex with me, but it’s so much more than that. ‘Lay Down’ is a commentary on gender inequality and what it means to be a woman in the 21st century; religiously, politically, professionally etc. In the music video we see hundreds of versions of me all lying in a field, linked together with rope to represent the universal nature of the issues addressed in the song. The video starts with me lying down in the field revealing all the different Amalie's (all the different situations where I had to lay down) and ends with all of the versions standing up and walking away at the end, representing Woman’s refusal to accept the gender disparity in society.”

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Yawn has unveiled the video to her latest single ‘Wasting Time’. The video features incredibly lush and moody visuals, coupled with a dancing flower monster. Bordering the realm between art and pop, it reflects the song’s message about carrying on against the odds, accepting who we are as artists, and persevering in spite of everything.

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Belgian-Bolivian artist IMAINA presents new track 'Glass Box', as the lead single from her upcoming debut EP. Using her signature melancholic sounds and lyrics, 'Glass Box' uncovers the hidden symbolism behind the toxic ideal of love. This electropop track confronts you with the violence and the dynamics of a suffocating relationship, characterised by layered and lush instrumentation, elegant moments and engaging percussion, setting the tone for her debut EP Wounds, which will be released on February 19. True to her cinematic style and passion of storytelling, IMAINA reveals a thrilling music video that tackles the ‘Madonna-Whore Complex' and explores the idea that women are expected to be many things. Inspired by the intimate confidences of a close friend, IMAINA has transformed herself into a vessel to translate experiences into a strong haunting song and video. “I feel like we all have a tendency to worship an unrealistic idea of love. We search for love and have high expectations but we don’t always accept, and really want to know the person in front of us. We end up projecting our desires, wants and wishes onto the person, locking them up in this glass box where they can be admired but never truly loved or known,” she says.

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In the music video for Anna Akana’s ‘Run,’ Akana appears as an opulent demon. She dances alone in the shadows, donning golden headdresses and draped fabrics. “Why meet my demons when I know you’re gonna run?” she sings over an eerie pop beat. ‘Run’ is featured on Akana’s upcoming EP, slated to release February 19. [via Forbes]

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Celeste has treated fans by releasing the official video for her single ‘Love is Back'. The video features a quirky 1960s office theme based around a newspaper headline stating that ‘Love is Back,’ and featuring Celeste herself in an office singing the lyrics of the song into a bright red telephone in a montage with some stylish animation which echoes the live action scenes in a stylised fashion. The video’s retro styling which takes us back to the dusty days of paper, desks and telephones are a breath of fresh air in a music industry saturated with hypermodern cliches or equally gadget laden 80s throwbacks and gives us something to really think about. The gentle nostalgia evoked by the video combines perfectly with the simple yet emotive song which tugs at the heart strings in both its musicality and its lyrical content and marks Celeste once again as a master of combining music with the moving image, a skill she first demonstrated with her incredible song composed for the Waitrose & John Lewis Partnership’s Christmas advert 2020 ‘A Little Love.’ While the John Lewis Christmas ad showed Celeste’s talent for writing to a brief, the work she has done on ‘Love Is Back,’ is very much her own, with the laid back R&B style fitting perfectly to her dusty, emotive vocal style which is in all ways unique and incredibly powerful. The video comes just over a week before Celeste’s debut album Not Your Muse, is due to be released a month earlier than planned. [via mxdwn]

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Ayra Starr is the afro-pop princess up-ending expectations. Signed to the taste-maker imprint Mavin Records, her emphatically creative, hugely soulful blend comes straight from the heart. At times, it seems like the entire world is listening. Her new EP is out now, a five track statement that illustrates her depth, and her incredible potential. Take 'Away'. Mellifluous, potent, and dynamic, the vocal touches on R&B while retaining elements of that alté sound. It's cool as hell, in other words, a song that affords Ayra space to truly connect with her audience. Discussing the track, she says: “I freestyled half of ‘Away’ at a time I was feeling down. It was like therapy. Singing the song out loud was like freeing myself from my burden. ‘Away’ is not just a heartbreak song, it’s a song that empowers you to stand up to that thing or person that is causing you sadness.” We're able to share the sensational 'Away' video, a depiction of a star coming into being. Ambitious, stylish, and incredibly well shot, it's the perfect platform from which to launch Ayra Starr into the cosmos. [via Clash]

#videos of the week #amber jay #anna b savage #anna leone #amalie bryde #yawn #imaina #anna akana #ayra starr #celeste

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medschoolash · 7 years ago

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With the whole 'Ned and honor' argument I'd also like to point out that Ned's honor contributed to his death, I'm not sure why we want one of our heroes to follow the same path. If Ned's honor was one end of an extreme, surely Jon should be the balance between that extreme and another. If he's to survive he needs to be smarter than Ned, they didn't just insert that comment from Sansa for the lols. Plus, what's the point of 6-7 seasons of character development only for Jon be an honorable fool?

Ned’s entire game of thrones story is a cautionary tale for all of his children and the audience about how NOT to play the game of thrones. His story is the ugly truth about what can happen when you mix an almost unmovable belief in honor with a ugly gritty game for power. Its a story about what happens when the good but hopelessly foolish get into a game that is too cut throat for their stubborn ideals. Ned Starks honor was one of his best traits and he did cast it aside for certain agendas like honoring the dying wish of his beloved sister to protect her child and to save his daughters from death and captivity like any good man would do, but his honor was his greatest weakness, it was his undoing. This is an irrefutable fact so the fact that so many people think that Ned is the blueprint that Jon must follow is honestly so confusing to me.

GRRM even went as far as showing us what happens to a man when he follows the Ned Stark rule of life too closely. Robb wasn’t exactly like Ned, he had a lot of his mother in him but he was molded in his father’s image in a lot of ways and held the same beliefs close to his heart. His fatal mistakes come for almost the exact same reasons that Ned’s did. From my understanding in the books Robb marries his wife because he has bedded her and taking her as his wife was the honorable thing to do. Robb kills Lord Karstark because honor demanded it. Robb ignores the warning signs before going to the twins for edmure’s wedding after breaking his oath to Walder Frey because he foolishly believed in the honor of his host and the people surrounding him and he foolishly underestimated the lengths the lannisters would go to in order to maintain power. Robb stark tried to live his life according to the code he was raised with and saw the same fate as his father. We were supposed to love Ned and Robb but the narrative has been clear in telling us that they were foolish and woefully ill prepared to play the game of thrones and that’s why they were eaten alive. Like Cersei Lannister once said “in the game of thrones you win or you die” and they died, they died because of naivety, treachery, and honor. So the fact that so many people think that Ned is the blueprint that Jon is supposed to follow and are so unwilling to consider him deviating from this blueprint in some way is just mind boggling to me. It’s clear that when you play the game like Ned you die and Jon has already learned that lesson the hard way.

You can literally find every mistake Jon has made in his life so far somewhere in Ned and Robb’s story and Jon as already suffered the EXACT SAME FATE. Jon-bless his heart- was a naive dumbass with the watch and was betrayed by his own men just like his father was a naive dumbass and was betrayed by Littlefinger and deceived by joffrey and just like Robb was a naive dumbass and was betrayed by his own bannermen and yet these are the footsteps they want Jon to follow as he navigates the most dangerous and critically important game he’s ever played in his entire life. The narrative blatantly wants us to see the error on Ned and Robb’s ways so badly they even made Sansa echo this idea I just explained. The fact that so many people dismiss Sansa’s line or pretend to be willfully blind to it is so perplexing to me because it’s abundantly clear that she was right. JON IS EVEN FORCED TO ADMIT TO HIM SELF THAT SHE WAS RIGHT.

She tells him he can’t be like Ned and Robb, that they were good men but they died because they were foolish men and that he can’t afford to be the same way which is 100% right and backed up by 7 seasons worth of storytelling and over 2 decades worth of book material but for some odd reason people ignore this and continue to force Jon into being exactly like his predecessors, a role that’s already cost him his life before. Jon’s experiences and the blueprint left by his father and brother should create CHANGE in Jon if this narrative is worth a damn. The narrative leans so heavily towards development for Jon that to not give him any is just a straight up Injustice to his character and decades worth of time and effort put into writing. Sansa learned from her father and brother’s mistakes, arya learned from her father and brother’s mistakes. Jon should learn as well, not repeat every single one of them and escape the fate that awaited Robb and Ned.

Ned Stark didn’t die so his children could hold on to his code at the expense of their own well being like he did. Ned Stark didn’t die so the nephew he loved as a son and dishonored himself and his wife to protect could make every mistake he made while playing the game of thrones.

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scarletrebel · 8 years ago

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a thing about rw.by

this is a whatever. not a meta or a theory or really a well-thought out critique. if anything I guess im just voicing my frustrations. if you like rw.by, please, please dont read this. you wont like what i have to say and i am in no way looking to upset rw.by fans, i just need a good old fashioned shout into the void. theres some things i liked in here too that actually came out whilst writing aha, so its not all my bullshit.

my main gripe with rw.by at the moment is the lack of character development for ruby rose. you know, the main character? which i think is the reason why my heart breaks a little that i dont love it as much as i used to. i identified so much with ruby. a little girl with a heart too big for her brain, who just wants to protect and help, having to come to terms with the fact that the real world doesnt make noble goals like that easy? thats my childhood right there.

the latter is something that hasnt been touched on as far as ruby rose’s character development goes until this season, and even then it hasnt really been touched, or lightly brushed, its been mentioned. ruby thought saving the world wouldnt take that long, that the world wasnt as big as it is; she apologises to jaune for dragging jnpr along with her. all INCREDIBLE MOMENTS I was really happy about, but they werent expanded upon. it was like the writers wanted to hit a checklist of ‘make sure the audience knows ruby is naive and sad but hopeful’ rather than making it more engaging to learn about as aspects of her character, which is just lazy storytelling.

show, dont tell. they’ve done that with juane. they’ve shown that he’s upset about phyrra’s death, they’ve shown him get mad at the situation and with qrow. he’s never outright voiced these things about his character like ruby has about herself, and we all knew she was a little naive. season one, weiss accusing ruby of being a bad leader and them showing the audience ruby trying to get better was so much better than just having her be like ‘im a little naive but ill fight for the greater good!’ like she has so blatantly been this series.

like, why would she not get mad at her own uncle for keeping her in the dark about someone wanting to kill her?? ruby’s what, 16 at this point? 15 at the least? would she not at least be a little bit annoyed, and would that not show some character growth on her part if she was? my naivety ended, personally, when i stopped trying to be so dang optimistic, (this can become more complicated to explain, as obviously you still have to have hope in the world while keeping a level head and ruby is still young, but, thats another conversation) and if that moment hasnt happened for ruby after 1. penny dying 2. phyrra dying 3. her uncle keeping important information from her 4. her sister having her arm sliced off 5. her friends being split up from her 6. nearly dying to a foe way more powerful than she is, even with her silver eyes -- then when?!

and lets just get it out of the way -- i dont fucking hate juane. i really, really like him as a character but i just fucking wish he got less of a spotlight because so much more attention is being payed to him and his journey and how everything affects him over ruby. it just is, and it sucks. i like theorising about his semblance, im pretty certain he’s really fucking powerful just like ruby is, but if he unlocks and masters his thing before ruby does i will be so pissed, and the only reason i say that is because it feels like thats the way its headed.

juane is a lovely character. he’s heroic, he’s actually quite brave and smart, and he’s a good fucking friend. he’s a brilliant support character. but for the love of all that is holy, focus more on ruby when they’re in the same scene. about how he’s helping her on her journey, why could they not have had one conversation about phyrra on screen is my question. they did it really, really well it season one, and i was very loud about the fact that no, juane doesnt get more screen time or attention, but during season four it feels like he -- like everyone that isnt ruby or the other three titular characters -- has over ruby.

just, please, rwby season five -- give ruby rose more character development. prove me fucking wrong and reveal that you were playing the long game, please.

also; i havent watched the last two episodes, but if it turns out the ‘’’cure’’’ to yangs ptsd is a new arm. fuck, man. please no. but i cant really comment on that yet so, we’ll see. i actually, up until seeing the preview for her spraying her arm and all that, really liked yangs journey. and taiyang is such a sweetheart i adore him. he was so patient and gentle and loving with yang, a few moments had me cringing but overall, an enjoyable part of the season. i hope yang gets to punch adam in the face.

blake’s journey is one ive enjoyed also. and tbh, i think sun following her and thinking she was on a personal mission to take down the white fang is a very sun thing to do, and i think blake surprising us all by saying no im not gonna do that is a very blake thing as well. sun is spontaneous, carefree to a point and very dedicated to taking down bad guys. projecting that onto blake was his mistake, and im really glad that blake is the one to voice the audiences frustrations at how annoying it is that he follows and harrasses her into taking action (even when a part of us knows that she should -- a really, really well written aspect of blakes journey actually, i really liked it) (sun really needs to have a ‘okay im being a creep im really sorry’ moment but i dont see it happening. again; prove me wrong, guys.)

blake so, so needed to see her family. im glad she could see that and im not surprised that she wanted to run under the guise of ‘resting’ like. come on blake, we all know you’re scared shitless. her characterisation was on point, probably the most out of the four girls. blake was a+ in this season and im really happy about that, come to think of it aha. i hope she gets to punch adam too.

weiss im satisfied with too, although i really wish that ironwood and her got to talking. he didnt necesarily need to save the day for her, i would think that a guy fighting her own battles -- even if it is a ‘good one’ like ironwood -- would irk her, so it wouldve been nice for them to talk. (im still fucking salty about juanes ‘you can have her’ to neptune like lmao fuck off you fucking dudebros THAT WAS SO ANNOYING anyway) weiss being able to call off the thing she summoned before it hurt the lady would be a sign that yeah she’s getting strong but she’s learning control, so. shrug.

papa schnee is an asshole, where is mama schnee?? and i FUCKING LOVED THE PLOT POINT THAT HER DAD MARRIED INTO THE FAMILY. please let this be an opening for a badass but subdued for Reasons mama schnee (although my hope is not that high)

my main, number one, OVERALL problem with rwby since the end of s3 to s4 is that they dont give the characters that need and deserve the most time and attention just that. i know its a small crew, i know that what they do and the time they do it in is amazing and admirable, and i do admire it and applaud it, they work so fucking hard and deserve praise for that. but they dont use their time wisely when it comes to assigning it in the narrative. and thats more of a writing issue, anyway.

and another fucking thing. the majority of the interesting characters that arent the main four and are alive and have been developed or made mysterious enough to warrant interest from the audience are fucking men. and yeah, no duh jade, welcome to every piece of media for fucking ever. qrow is an asshole that everyone loves, raven is probably going to turn out to be a bitch -- the majority of salem’s ‘court’ or whatever are dudes. ironwood. ren got backstory over nora. blakes dad. adam taurus. for all that i love him, fucking juane. did we learn anything about phyrra that wasnt her explicitly telling us her backstory? no. we felt sad that she died because of her connections with other people, but, lets face it, mostly juane. im still adamant that she didnt die just for him, that she knew there was a bigger picture and genuinely loved him, but from a narrative pov him and his reactions was a bigger focus point especially in the aftermath with season 4.

(ruby fucking unlocked an ANCIENT POWER BECAUSE SHE SAW PHYRRA DIE AND SHE DOESNT GET TO HAVE THE SAME EMOTIONAL SCENE ABOUT IT THAT JUANE GOT??? PLS LAST TWO EPISODES. GIVE HER THAT AT LEAST. PROVE ME WRONG.)

i remember at a rwby panel at rtx one year, when asked about making a series that has four female protaganists, the guys said that they didnt see it that way, that they were just writing a story about a bunch of kids and yeah, i get that. but its not.

its a story about four strong, tested, young women and they need to stop being oblivious to that because the narrative is fucking suffering.

end rant/

#dead dove do not eat #jadeisranting.txt #please PLEASE #DONT READ THIS IS YOU LOVE RWBY #ill probably just upset or anger you and theres no point so please dont #im just frustrated and wanting to vent its really not worth reading if you know you might not like what you read #i really dont think putting dots in rw.by is going to help but imma try #sorry in advance

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trevorbailey61 · 7 years ago

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Rickie Lee Jones

Assembly, Leamington Spa

Tuesday 27th February 2018

Thursday 6th September 1979. For many years this would have been the time I returned to school following the summer break but a few weeks before I had received a slip of paper through the post informing me that I had gained the grades I needed to secure my place at Nottingham University. My life was about to change but that wasn’t until the end of the month, in the meantime I had a few weeks to enjoy the break and prepare for a new beginning. The previous year Thursday afternoon had involved a long session of pure maths, struggling with differentiation and integration, matrices and transformations and the staggering complexity of a right angle triangle. Symbols, numbers, both real and imaginary, and obscure equations had taken the subject into the realms of the abstract and left me increasingly bewildered as to how it related to the world around me. Thursday afternoon maths would soon to reappear, in a lecture that began…. BEGAN!!! at 5:15, but for now I could saunter along the road that takes me to the No 9 bus terminus in Quinton without a care in the world. Whether it was football, music or the pubs and clubs of the city, the No 9 was our portal to the world, the route along the Hagley Road took us from comfortable detached suburbia to the city centre and beyond, a service it provided throughout the night. Growing up on the edge of the city certainly had its advantages.

Normally, waiting for the bus I would be accompanied by others, either the most unthreatening crew of football fans imaginable or a few friends sharing a late night out, but on this occasion I was alone. This was not unusual, most of the time I went to concerts I went alone as few, if any, shared my eclectic taste in music. Despite an obsession with collecting records that had started seven or eight years previously, I was still something of a novice in live music; it wasn’t until I went to University that I started to attend gigs regularly. Whilst my friends had parents who took them to see Bowie, T Rex and Pink Floyd, that was never something mine were interested in and it was only when I was able to make my own way and fund them myself that I started to go, mostly to the Odeon in New Street where I had already seen Status Quo, Genesis, Wishbone Ash and Gary Numan. This is not a list that gave me many credibility points later, a deficit made up a little by my only visit to Barbarella’s to see Blondie, an experience that scarred me for many years to come. As an aside, I only ever went to two concerts with both of my parents, one was Cliff Richard, we were kids at the time and needed some guidance, the other was Ella Fitzgerald and in terms of kudos it is difficult to think of a greater contrast.

That Thursday evening I was heading once again to the Odeon, this time to see Rickie Lee Jones. Quite what it was that persuaded me to forsake the lad rock of most of my previous gigs for Jones’ smooth woozy jazz intonations I cannot say but more than likely it was mostly to do with the success of the single “Chuck E’s in Love”; a song that had forced its way into my mind and challenged me to see music as something more than hairy blokes with guitars. Despite my naivety, even I was beginning to see that neither Rick Parfitt nor Phil Collins nor, despite how hard he tried bless him, Gary Numan were really cool. Rickie Lee Jones, however, was; the red beret, that covers her head as she lights a cheroot on the cover of her first album and which she wore that evening, told us that we were in the presence of, to take the title one of her songs, the Queen of “Coolsville”, the bohemian poster girl telling stories of seedy but exciting characters unencumbered by the trials of making sense of differential calculus. It would be nice if I could complete this story by saying that it was a transformational experience, that I was so moved by a performance of such intensity that I walked out vowing never to listen to “Supper’s Ready” again. Sadly, that wasn’t the case. Firstly, as a support act, she had decided to bring with her a comedian about which the kindest thing to say was that his humour didn’t cross the Atlantic; more likely, however, was that he just wasn’t funny. Jones herself was not a happy bunny and complained relentlessly during the set that barely made it to the hour mark. She did do most of her eponymous debut album but having done that she either ran out of material or decided that she couldn’t be arsed and when the auditorium lights came on the audience stared vacantly at each other trying to find the words to express just how much they felt they had been short changed. It would be nearly forty years before we would share a room again.

Subsequent events, however, suggest that there have been a little more to this than just artistic petulance with Jones being more than an observer of the dysfunctional lives of the Venice beach characters that inhabited her songs. She may have fused intricate storytelling with jazz rhythms and chord progressions but her lifestyle became pure rock ’n’ roll; drink, drugs and self indulgence. Despite this, her skills as a songwriter remained intact and the albums that followed, “Pirates” and “The Magazine”, stand in comparison with the delicate beauty of that debut; her set is still mainly made up of songs from this period. I still feel a little trepidation, however, in renewing our acquaintance as her reputation as an erratic live performer remains and as I arrived at The Assembly on a bitterly cold evening the doubts began to intensify. The email that arrived about a week before had told us that rather than the 7:30pm time that was advertised, the doors would now open at 7:00pm and suggested that we arrive there early. I did, about ten minutes before the time stated, and a small queue had already formed of those making sure they were able to secure the best of the unreserved seats. The anticipated short wait, however, became longer as did the queue until eventually a rather harassed man, who I presume was the manager, appeared to say yes he appreciated that we were suffering from the early stages of hypothermia but unfortunately they weren’t ready and they couldn’t let us in. He then promptly disappeared and left his colleague, a girl who looked as if she had only recently entered her twenties, to deal with the increasingly hostile people shivering outside. The “they” was obviously meant as an attempt to deflect this frustration on to the artist and the fastidious soundcheck going on inside, an easy target given the temperamental reputation that Jones carries with her. At about 7:30, however, a group of four stockily built men made their way to the front of the queue and took up their positions on the door. It appeared that whilst the punters had been informed of the earlier start, no one had thought to mention it to the security detail.

Having done most of the waiting outside, it wasn’t long before the two musicians who form the backing band were onstage laying down some intricate jazzy tones by way of an introduction. The precision of the playing was immaculate and formed a sparse but beautifully layered backdrop to the songs throughout. The wonderfully varied percussion used an array of hand held shakers, cymbals and a vibraphone to hold together the complex timing of Jones’ story-songs whilst at other times laying down a solid 4/4 beat. Around this, the guitar would add brilliantly nuanced flourishes recalling the street sounds that formed the setting for the stories being told. As they had done forty years ago, the songs from the debut album still form most of the salient moments in the set, so familiar now that the few notes that form the introduction are enough to draw hollers of approval from an audience well versed in her work. A few strummed chords are all that is needed to announce the opener “Weasel And The White Boys Cool”, extended into a long jazzy ramble showing that whilst she was happy to play the songs we wanted to hear, she would do so at her own pace. “Young Blood” had a laid back funky feel whilst the yearning in “The Last Chance Texaco” would melt even the hardest of hearts. It is unusual for a female songwriter to find a metaphor for a broken heart in a malfunctioning automobile but Jones pulls it off spectacularly, even transforming her voice into the desolate howl of a passing car at the end of the song. In introducing “Chuck E’s in Love” she explains how an old school friend called Julie had introduced her to the chords around which her most familiar song is built, as she says; “thanks Julie”. The set concludes with her tender reflection on childhood, "On Saturday Afternoons In 1963” where she is able to capture how fresh and exciting the world appears to a child before routine and familiarity dull our experience. With its haunting melody and Jones hushed singing, it is a beautifully emotional moment which she obviously feels she is unable to top as even forty years later she still doesn’t do encores.

Her inner child is evident in her strange girl/woman voice that makes astonishing jumps between registers, surely an influence on both Martha Wainwright and Cerys Matthews, but often this is set in a stark contrast to the deep pain and hard knocks found in many of her songs. She moves from acoustic to electric guitar, explaining her satisfaction at using the latter for rhythm rather than as a lead or for effect, before quietly moving to the piano towards the end. “Living It Up” is another wander amongst the bums and losers of Venice Beach, Eddie , Cunt-finger Louie, and a girl named Zero all drawn to a strange place where everyone seems to be “Living it Up”. “Pirates (So Long, Lonely Avenue)” is her breaking away from the familiar faces and routines; “Well, goodbye boys; Oh my buddy boys; Oh my sad-eyed Sinatras”; a recognition that the things are moving on and that staying around would diminish her. Written in the aftermath of her break up with Tom Waits it is clear eyed in its understanding that it is not just the relationship that is over but also that way of life. Both songs are taken her second album “Pirates” from which she also draws “We Belong Together”, like the others populated by flawed and dangerous characters who in some macabre ritual will always be drawn to one another. The depth in the storytelling so early in her career is astonishing and whilst she remains a songwriter of incredible insight, her more recent music doesn’t quite capture the same raw intensity. “Circle in the Sand” and “Haunted” were both immaculately arranged and played but still weren’t quite as moving.

The evocative melodies and delicate musical settings has always added a poignancy to even the darkest of Jones’ songs but with the passage of time, their emotional impact has been greatly enhanced. At the time, the characters and scenes she depicted were those that she saw around her but now they are like postcards from a past that has long ceased to exist; the Eddie’s, Johnny’s, Zero’s and even cunt-finger Louie having long since succumbed to the dysfunction of their lifestyle; the one that Jones herself was able to escape. As I listen to songs that have been with me for the best part of my adult life, I reflect on how my own world has changed since I sat in the stalls at the Birmingham Odeon, those friends at the time, most of whom I no longer see, and those in my life now who I hadn’t met, or who may not have even been born, then. In particular, I think of those eccentric characters who could, and possible should, have formed the subject of my own stories to preserve their life in the way that those who strolled around the streets of south LA have been preserved. Then it was probably not the will be the talent that prevented me from doing this. Jones remains a somewhat tetchy live performer who lacks the easy rapport to seem quite fully at ease in front of an audience but her writing and the intensity of her performance bring to life the songs that retain their power even when their subjects are no longer around. A performance like this all those years ago really would have singled the end for “Supper’s Ready” - “Then again years may go by: Years may go by.”

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igrowhort · 7 years ago

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A late night conversation with Mother can lead to some enlightening discussions and a few home truth’s that are often best forgotten by morning! Fortunately I’m getting good at retaining information since I rarely drink and try to stay fit.

However I was getting frustrated by the lack of retention in even the simplest things like people’s names and dates! So I took action and decided that by altering my focus and priority I should be able to recall dates, plant and people’s names and appointments much better.

Remember Me

My note making and memory recall seems to work although compared to my hubby who can recall names from his childhood, places, even dates. He is a real storyteller I just wish he’d write it all down. Until then it’s down to me to share our adventures! Our journey together started out as a colourful online trans-atlantic voyage. Our long distance relationship, has indeed endured the test of space, time travel and Skype.

My Family loved to get in on the act and Robert loved all the attention!

Back to my fireside story as Mother recalled snippets from my childhood as we sat huddled in front of the tiny log burning stove (the only heat source in her stone Chapel-side cottage that she loves so dearly). She told me that between my brother and I, it was I that was the confident child.

Apparently I would eagerly greet people with a bold naivety in thinking that everyone is good, often giving my Mum a fright as a tug at people’s legs whilst queuing or running ahead of her to greet all animals in my line of sight.

Cosy cottage fireplace the heart the makes a Home

I believe that all changed when I was persecuted at school, my confidence took a sharp knock compounded by actions of my infant school teacher. “She” as Mother would exclaim was”Pure Evil” and she had taken an instant dislike to me. Often ridiculed by being made to stand in the corner facing the wall, a penance for my flaws.

A quick change of school and a formal complaint by my Mother put a halt to the persecution and provided me with the first teacher male positive role model in my sheltered Fatherless life. I say Fatherless I have a father, he was there growing up, he provided and largely completed his fatherly duties free of emotion and void of love.

I promised to the brightest star’s to accomplish everything he hadn’t, also to be emotional, expressive, open and honest, caring loving and kind.

It felt like I was reaching for the stars, timid, quietly spoken, scrawny Welsh boy! I finally took control and claimed back my life from the bullies, the name calling , the face-paint, the hung while wearing my jacket, from the cloakroom coat hooks or public ridicule of being forced ass first into a playground bin was all finally behind me. I had once been a reserved, shy and quietly spoken child, they tormented me for my soft-spoken ‘posh’ voice, in-turn I shone through and turned a corner from the taunting and began put my well spoken British accent to good use.

I finally felt the pain drip away as I turned the hate to power and threw myself into my career and subsequent relationships.

By my late teens I felt I had the World in my grasp

All these childhood nightmares that alone I could not stop, became my lesson, my truth my strength of character! I was determined and damn was I going to use it to become a Man and draw from my own destiny. Gardening was my savior my guiding light, I sought its solace, savored its grace and cried myself a garden, as I carved a career that was to be filled with a lifetime of love, life and learning.

To have been part of the generations that have experienced so much social progress and yet bear media witness to so much targeted hate is hard to comprehend. Naively over the last five years I had begun to think the World was becoming a better place to live! Happier, healthier, environmentally conscious society that reduces its red meat intake, find other way to farm the land that is productive and not destructive like the waste of innocent lifes, through Fire, Flood, Tornado or Terror attack.

!Take the Challenge a week meat free!

Instead feed our bodies nutritious healthy whole foods that the land provides and nature protects. I’m done with chemicals and toxins, in my body on my garden plants or in my environment!

I’m currently combining a low impact fitness regime along side an attempt towards a fully vegan plant whole food diet. vegetarian and more so veganism seem to be gaining in popularity due to genuine informed lifestyle choice that exceeds the torrent of fads and trendy celebrity diets.

As I mentioned in the previous article A Garden Cure for Writers Block , I explain that I’m at a crossroads in my life, my career and you might like to read what we’ve been up to since I was reunited with my husband in the Always Sunny City of Philadelphia.

I survived Halloween and thought you might like to see what we got up to? Pumpkin Carving and Caramel Fudge a falltime trick or treat.

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Come grow with me on

Stephen Pryce-Lea

Head Gardener and International Horticultural Consultant

“It’s a beautiful thing when a career and a passion grow together, when you find it in a Garden it’s like finding Paradise“

iGrowHort – A Head Gardener’s Horticultural Journey of love, life and learning.

Tags; vegan, naked gardener, d for determination, garden determination,passion for gardening, horticulturalconsultant,head gardener,stephen lea head gardener, Stephen lea estate manager, igrowplants, igrow gardens, igrow Horticulture, igrow herbs, igrow perennials, igrowhort, gardentags,Stephen Pryce-lea,

The Naked Gardener – D is for Determination A late night conversation with Mother can lead to some enlightening discussions and a few home truth's that are often best forgotten by morning!

#d for determination #garden determination #gardentags #head gardener #horticulturalconsultant #igrow gardens #igrow herbs #igrow Horticulture #igrow perennials #igrowhort #igrowplants #naked gardener #passion for gardening #Stephen lea estate manager #stephen lea head gardener #stephen pryce-lea #vegan

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theartfulmegalodon · 8 years ago

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My Unpopular Opinions of the Wonder Woman movie:

First let me say, I’m not trying to puncture anyone’s balloon of goodwill for this film. I don’t hate it. It was okay. But I was reading yet another glowing, worshipful article on just how great it was from FilmCriticHulk this morning (along with his recent Spider-man: Homecoming article in which he bashes Marvel’s latest movies for their character development, then contrasts it by praising the WW movie yet again) and it prompted me to finally put down my feelings all in one place. As someone who really appreciates good storytelling and good character building, it is frustrating when it seems I’ve seen a completely different movie from everyone else.

I realize that saying anything negative about the Wonder Woman film is just asking to be shunned around here, and around some of the prominent film review sites, but in response to the FilmCriticHulk article I happened upon today, I addressed to him in a comment this small essay in disagreement. I’ve copied it here. If you absolutely love this movie and its portrayal of WW, and don’t want to hear a single word against it, then please pass this by. I’m not trying to take away anyone’s joy, here. But if you don’t mind reading a long, off the cuff post about all the ways in which I believe the movie failed to give us a good Wonder Woman, then please proceed. These issues have been nagging at me for awhile.

[As I said, addressing this to FilmCriticHulk, I wrote:]

I realize this is an incredibly unpopular opinion around here, but I have to disagree... Hulk, you like to (deservedly) call out a lot of films for paying lip service to a theme or message without physically or dramatically backing it up. I'm not sure why you can't see it here.

I understand that Diana is supposed to be this paragon of empathy and female empowerment, but how can anyone possibly relate to her? (Again, I realize I'm in the minority.) Her character barely has an arc, and her ability to fight for justice (or whatever) wherever she can is hardly empowering when she's INVINCIBLE. Seriously, there were NO STAKES for her in this movie. We never saw her get hurt, or lose a fight. It sort of comes down to what makes a hero, for me. I can't help but compare it to Captain America: The First Avenger. It's the parable about courage: courage isn't the absence of fear (that'd be Diana), courage is being afraid but doing it anyway. In Cap's story, we see Steve Rogers doing the right thing before he has any strength or influence to back it up. As a skinny shrimp, he's the only one to jump on a grenade without hesitation. He uses cleverness where brute strength would fail. (Retrieving the flag during training by pulling the pole's hinge out.) "A weak man knows the value of strength." It's so poignant, so admirable. What makes Diana a hero? She's just doing what she was trained to do since childhood, what she was told she was made for, destined for. She's never known anything but strength.

And I'd like to address that No Man's Land scene: everyone and their mother thinks this is the best scene since sliced bread, and it fell absolutely flat for me. As I said, it means nothing that she "defies" the men telling her not to go, because she's INVINCIBLE. Not a single bullet touches her. She takes no damage. And she knew she wouldn't. That's the thing. She knew she could do it, while the men up to that point had NO REASON to think she could. Why would Steve think she could handle a barrage of gunfire? He already saw other Amazons get killed by bullets. He has no reason to think Diana can survive such an attempt.

I hate, actually hate, that that moment is framed as "Diana defies all who doubt her, and has the moral fortitude to do what the quivering menfolk won't: face down danger to rescue innocent lives!" That's incredibly unfair. These men aren't abandoning the innocents because they think it's not worth the risk; they are accepting the terrible reality that they physically CANNOT save them. It's called “No Man's Land” for a reason. They know they would literally all die in the attempt and it would waste even more human lives for no gain. So to have Diana's big moment be "empowering" because she dismisses their warnings and proves them wrong is just... kind of disgusting to me. Paragon of empathy? If she was, and if she had even a little bit of tactical intelligence, she would feel for these men that she knows and the horrible no-win situation they're in. She would acknowledge their powerlessness. In my opinion, this moment could easily have been actually empowering if instead of "Fine, stay cowering in your trenches; I'm gonna go do what's RIGHT!" Diana sympathized with the men, and it was "I see now; you can't save them, but it's going to be alright! You don't realize it, but I'm strong enough to take their fire and make it across! I can help you help them! Come on, men; I'll lead the charge!"

And that's just the one scene. I have a problem with her character for the entire movie. I don't find her naivety charming, because she never seems willing to learn. She actually comes across as quite stupid. It's as though her Amazon upbringing did quite a lot of damage, ensuring she was ignorant of so many things that you'd think they'd teach her (tactical warfare, for instance) but at the same time filled with righteousness! I mean, she bulldozes her way through this movie, unwilling to hear a single argument that goes against her preconceived plans. (For Zeus's sake, she can't comprehend the simple concept of "The battle is really far away; we have to arrange things to get there, so we need to go THIS way before we can go THAT way.") Her boundless confidence is not inspiring, since again, she's INVINCIBLE, and she KNOWS it, while the others around her DON'T. Of course she can afford to be insistent and unyielding. She knows she won't lose. Did you notice? Nothing ever actually humbles her in this movie. She doesn't even admit that she might be wrong about something until the general's death. She is eventually made sad because her favorite man dies, but before that - in fact, outside of Steve and to a lesser extent the three other guys - she never seems to connect to humanity on any personal level. She observes them from afar, and has Steve explain their behavior to her. It's all very detached, very academic. And then when she sees the people at war injured and struggling and wants to stop to help each one, it should make me believe she cares, and yet...

It's the childishness of her approach to "helping". Again, those Amazons who raised her made her believe that she was destined to fulfill this fairy tale purpose: defeat Ares and thereby magically flip the switch in humanity to make them all peaceful and loving again. She believes she is meant to Help People, even though we never see this behavior in her towards her fellow Amazons. We never see her helping any of them, being kind or encouraging to them, showing any kind of strength of character there. There's no innate "goodness"; she's just been programmed to someday carry out this concept of Helping People. And throughout the movie, she makes no room for nuance. She never once changes her mind, not until the very, very end. She approaches the entire world with the stubborn, black-and-white views of a child. When she sees people being good, well that's just their natural state. When she sees them be bad, well that's just Ares. Gotta go defeat that Ares!

And talk bout fumbling your message! For half a second there, when she's killed the general and the war doesn't magically stop, and Steve is there frantically trying to get the concept of "maybe you're wrong" through her thick skull (honestly the most believable person in the entire film), there was a glimmer of hope that she might have to adjust her perception of the world and of humanity, and admit that there are no easy answers. Maybe it would have led to her finding a more genuine, personal reason for "fight the good fight anyway" instead of just fighting evil because she's "supposed" to. Buuuuut NOPE! Here's your big easy answer! Here's your simple bad guy to defeat! And then again, for half a second, with all of Ares' jawing about humanity being plenty terrible all on their own without his help, Diana gets to give her "this is what I've learned about humanity: they can hate AND love!" speech, you think the movie will admit to that nuance and leave it on that note... buuuuut NOPE! As soon as Ares is killed, the fog of war literally blows away on the wind! Soldiers of both sides take off their helmets and embrace! The war is over! Easy-peasy!

[This still addressing Hulk about his articles:] You write here about WW being slow to anger, because she's more interested in fighting the good fight. You write in your recent Spider-man essay that WW "is about not staying put, not out of juvenile frustration, but out of the living heart of empathy and taking responsibility". I don't buy either of these things, not for a second! You say it's backed up beautifully through dramatization... no it's not! Don't take this as a personal attack; I just saw a very different movie than you, it seems. Diana may not be "not staying put" because she wants to join the big boys or something, but her reasons are no less shallow. As I said, I don't see her fighting out of love or empathy - she's doing it because she was raised to, told her whole life that she was meant for one thing only. And she's never proven wrong, or given reason to change. From your Spider-man take-down of Marvel, you write that Marvel movies are about "making you feel like you did or learned something you really didn't do or learn. Out of the side of their mouths, they [tell] you all about how *wink wink* you don't have to really have to change, because you're already awesome." What exactly is the difference here?? And what now? Diana chooses to hide herself away as a mild-mannered archaeologist or whatever for 100 years? While occasionally... donning her flashy costume and leaping off tall things to go fight... what? We're never told what she's doing these days exactly. Or why she retreated from heroism for a century. I just have so many problems.

At some point in the movie, I realized that I was watching a child. Mentally, morally, she was a child approaching the world. An invincible child, but that only meant she never had to reevaluate herself. Her one-dimensional view of humanity became (gasp!) TWO dimensional, but other than that, she learned nothing, and her personal character had no arc. And I was reminded, painfully, that these superhero comics were mostly meant for children. Attractive heroes, flashy action, and simplistic morals, very clear-cut right right vs wrong. And I just made my peace with that. This movie will win over a ton of little girls and boys, and is a perfectly fine role model for them. But I just can't understand how so many reviewers and adult fans think this is somehow a phenomenal movie, or that she's a phenomenal hero. "Wonder Woman done right!" they say.

My very last thought is about that "Wonder Woman done right" opinion. I will readily admit I've never read a full WW comic, but through everything my friends, WW fans, and the internet in general have told me, Diana is supposed to be the hero who wants peace, who loves and feels for humanity, who fights when she has to, but only as a last resort, right? Remember that whole "We have a saying, my people. Don't kill if you can wound, don't wound if you can subdue, don't subdue if you can pacify, and don't raise your hand at all until you've first extended it." Um, where was THAT Wonder Woman? This Diana didn't solve a single problem except with violence. It was her first instinct. The Amazons in the movie raised her to be nothing but a warrior (despite, again, paying lip-service to just how good and pure she was, too good for humanity). When she was given new clothes, her first thought was how to fight in them. She snuck into a fancy party with a “god-killer” sword. When in the trenches, being told of a complicated stalemate, she didn't spare a thought for how to proceed, she just plowed straight ahead. Never once did we see her even try to solve a problem with understanding, with placation, with compromise, with kindness. Nor did we see her try to outsmart anyone at any point. The only possible example I can think of is her telling the one guy "Who will sing for us?" to keep him from leaving. Does that count? It actually seemed out of character for her.

[Yeah, I’ve noticed Tumblr building altars to that one tiny scrap of dialogue.]

So, sorry to drop an essay on you, but it's been driving me a little batty that I never see anyone pointing any of these things out. (Though my friend, who I saw it with, came away with the same impression. We're both kind of baffled at the over-the-top praise.) In conclusion, the movie was actually FINE. It did clearly borrow a whole lot from other movies, and it did have a weak, cartoonish villain and a thematically shallow ending, but it was overall assembled nicely enough. It was watchable. It showed women in a good light while showing Not All Men to be sexist pigs. It had enough flashy action and likeable characters to be a Good Movie.

I just felt they missed something essential with her characterization. I couldn't really admire her, because she was just blindly, ignorantly blundering towards her "destiny". I couldn't be inspired by her, because she was a literal god who could do things no one else (like me) could ever hope to do. I couldn't relate to her, because she couldn't relate to us. When Captain America first ignored his orders and crossed into enemy territory to rescue captured troops, he returned marching on the ground with the host of them at his side, and then immediately submitted himself for discipline. When Diana charged in to save the town, it ended with her standing on high, with the adoring little townspeople she saved cheering her from below. A hero who is one of us v. a hero who stands above us.

I think I would salute this Wonder Woman as she soared past me, and cheer her on, but I would follow Captain America into battle in a heartbeat.

#movies #wonder woman #unpopular opinion #movie critique #I'm really not trying to step on any toes here #Just felt the need to lay it all out finally #just to get it out of my system

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