#she laying head on my hand
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I am trapped
#she fell asleep on me while playing dreamlight valley#she laying head on my hand#I dare not move#she’s so precious my babyyyy#txt post
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this exchange goes crazy...dana "i worship the sea he sailed on" "i did it because i knew if he found out he would kill me" "part of me likes it, needs it, wants the approval" " along the way there are other fathers" "i thought you'd be pleased" "he was my instructor at the academy" "he must have been a wonderful teacher...yes, he's remarkable man" "your fear of failing him?" scully would know a thing or two about THAT...
#trying to gather my Thoughts on the different ways mulder and scully approach authority...#scully essentially lays out her entire deal in never again between craving the approval and attention of an authority figure#only to eventually chafe under the weight of their expectation; the constraints of cooperation and submission#she likes being 'chosen' so to speak - by jack; by daniel - it means she's special. she glows under their approval; it means something to#have their favor#it validates her - she is smart she is capable she is exceptional#(something something sainthood something something being chosen by god for great works something something if you genuflect and pray and do#all the rituals just right something something catholicism)#mulder on the other hand i have a harder time getting into his head re: authority#people like phoebe and diana hold a level of control over him but this isn't an exact superior/subordinate relationship#does he ever really express a real desire to please skinner? he seems to have always been disdainful of patterson#i will have to think on it more.......#the x files
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Hiii everyone, say, how do your Hawkes go go about sharing their estate? If they do it at all? Is everyone free to come and go or are they more private? Or do they only invite their LI to stay? I'm curious!! :)
#lay rambles#my ocs#oc: liam hawke#oc: lilian hawke#both my hawkes are very social w their friends but i love comparing their boundaries around it#theres variation in rules for specific ppl with both of them ofc but theres still general differences#with liam its all very open and everyone can p much come and go whenever#they dont get extra keys (theyll get lost and he doesnt want randos finding them lol) but they know where to find the spare key#and bodhan and sandal and orana know to let them in whenever#hes very lenient in this this regard but he does have rules abt what he does and doesnt want them to do#mostly its about not making too much of a mess lol bc liam prefers to clean himself#(he doesnt trust the crew with his household and also he has particular ways of doing things and Hates when theyre done differently)#so things like keep your dirty garb at the entrance dont cook by yourselves (this was banned after they did it one (1) time lol) etc#also no fucking allowed. do that somewhere else for the love of the maker he does NOT want to walk into that in his own house#(and it also comes back to liam not trusting them with cleaning but also Not wanting to clean that up lol)#also he is not fond of them going into his room uninvited. most of the house is chill but that is *his* space#he accommodates these rules by e.g. having spare slippers and a little washing basin in the entrance hall for dirty shoes/feet#always makes sure to have snacks in stock that he knows they like#food will have notes abt what to leave for leandra/orana/etc but otherwise food is prepared with his friends in mind#and in general he'll make sure to adjust the space/routine in little ways to accommodate them#(air out when fen isnt there cus he doesnt like drafts; keep curtains open cus anders prefers open spaces; etc)#lilian on the other hand doesnt like when her friends come into the estate without a heads up (cept for emergencies)#but once they have her 'ok' its basically mi casa es su casa#dont yknow. overdo it and get too rowdy but otherwise do whatever#however. she also expects everyone to clean up after themselves. she aint here to play maid and youre all adults#also liam has a general 'please try to not be too wild when leandra is here' and lilian doesnt#not cos she doesnt care but cos leandra is bothered by sth she can speak up herself#oh and lilian uses the basement space as temporary refuge for anyone who needs it (mostly escaped mages)#also side note: both offered gamlen to stay but he refused (out of pride/remorse)#...this got long and i ran out of tag space lmfao so this is it for now xD
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Everyone congratulate Kia for finally figuring out that if you want lap cuddles it's possible to jump into said lap instead of roaming around yelling until you're picked up
#my cats#kiadanta#i love her so much and she is so so stupid#she had a phase of climbing the back of my desk chair and trying to climb over my shoulder and front into lap#because just jumping into my lap instead seemed beyond her#and even then she couldnt figure out how to do the descent#she'd just hang there sadly perched on the head rest until i reached over my head to manhandle her into my lap#but today she finally jumped. like a real cat!!#hopefully she remembers this success for tomorrow's cuddle#she knows she likes lap cuddles at the desk and actively seeks them out#she specifically likes to lay with her head propped up on my arm and her paw slung over my hand or wrist#and i think that's wonderful
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lord its so dark in here the sahara desert of tsaritsa content you are like a shining oasis. your characterisation of her compels me & mihoyo would be hard pressed to top it imo.!! caaaaan i humbly request yr thoughts on her first meeting w a reader of any kind, or maybe even multiple kinds (sagau, sagau god au, isekai, etc) if you so desire...
it really is like a desert here. being the fan of a character we aren't getting until the last damn nation is driving me up a wall but i will persevere bc if nothing else i support morally bankrupt women in media. we r in a severe drought over here but i do my best. unfortunately nothing i say is ever coherent so pull out your translation notes its abt 2 be messy
also this got out of hand but thats bc first meetings w the tsaritsa are tricky to write + a LOT of her characterization lies in deeper exploration then just surface level yknow...NOT A DIG AT YOU this is just my excuse for rambling. gently pats the tsaritsa she can hold so much complexity i do not have the word count to delve into it completely :]
gonna talk cult au for a bit here though because that's 99% of my content. and honestly? she thrives in sub au's of the cult au like villain au + imposter au. it's basically made for her. i mean, early days, the imposter au had been going around for a little while but one of the first few ideas was the Fatui taking reader in so like. it kinda technically actually was. pretty sure cult au Tsaritsa popped up because of the imposter au. a lot of it's writers kinda left though which. man am i getting old or.
anyway.
there isn't much of a chance her first impression is all that positive. at best it's usually neutral, imo, but rarely if ever positive. specifically because i view the Tsaritsa as someone who isn't as fanatical as most of the acolytes typically are towards the creator. she's not exactly going to worship the ground you walk on unlike a certain geo lizard. which is partially why i think she thrives in the sub au's i mentioned.
imposter au, for example. she meets you at your lowest. there's no gaudy extravagance or pampering from the acolytes waiting for you because your own acolytes have turned on you. for all intents and purposes you aren't a "god" at all. which is why i don't think she meshes well with normal cult au reader. the Fatui are made up of outcasts, basically, and imposter au slots right in just perfectly. you're weak, at your lowest, when you meet the Fatui in the imposter au. and the Fatui can help you, too.
a mutual exchange, really. the Tsaritsa sees a tool she can use to one up the rest of the nations and especially Archons, and she has no qualms about you using her and the Fatui in turn. you both want something out of it, after all. whether you just want to be safe from the rest of the acolytes, or you want revenge, or whatever else..she'll give you the power to fulfill it, and she gains the strongest piece on the chessboard when all is said and done.
the best way i can describe the first meeting is "practical", i suppose. she sees an opportunity in you. the ultimate gamble. because if she "saves" you, and you dont trust anyone else because they tried to kill you, well..she holds all the cards, doesn't she?
but the Tsaritsa, imo, is just as capable of being just as fanatical towards you as anyone else. she just won't worship you as the creator. but as yourself? clawing your way back to your divine power and taking back what belongs to you? the Tsaritsa is, to me, a character who's character flourishes in long-term fics more because she changes a LOT between "just met reader" and after having been with reader for some time. she's practically apathetic at the beginning but a lot of her character, in my characterization, shines through LONG after the first meeting.
#asks#Anonymous#sagau#tsaritsa#like. am i explaining this coherently?? first meetings r GOOD and i could go on a tangent of like. first meetings w zl and make it work#but first meetings w the tsaritsa is like. you just cooked a 5 course meal. took one bite. called it a day.#so much of my characterization lies in the “after” of the first meeting#because her first meetings are generally the same. she's apathetic at best!! she does not gaf abt the creator in the SLIGHTEST#but show that you are more then the creator? that you do not cling to the title like a shield? that you do not rely on it?#youve got the worst person youve ever known ready to kill a man for you.#tsaritsa is very like. EXTREMELY hard to earn the trust of but when you do she will kill someone for you no hesitation no question#which is why she works SO WELL in villain au and imposter au!!!!!!!!!#esp if theres a fake “creator” calling you the imposter. she hates their ass and was .5 seconds from dethroning them anyway#you just made it 10x easier#also cant do just first meetings bc i am incapable of not shoving themes of love into every fic w her SORRY#tsaritsa going on a full multiple month long mental breakdown bc she is not in love with you but she would destroy everything for u..#(shes in denial)#tsaritsa and complex themes of love and what it means for the god of love to be incapable of feeling it + what it means when reader shows u#LIKE UGHHHHHH okay. i guess ill write another tsaritsa fic and put it in my vault#aka my drafts#i hold so many fics hostage there its crazy#this answered like 0 of ur questions sorry i see tsaritsa and black out and this happens#i just think first meetings dont let her character really come thru but my response got out of hand so uhhhhh everyone look away. please#putting tape over my mouth now so i shut up before this gets worse#basically tsaritsa gravitates more towards outcast reader rather then one who has already become accustomed to the adoration of the acolyte#does that make sense........#i havent slept in forever and im running on nothing but spite and dreams atp dont expect coherency when it comes 2 the tsaritsa from me#head in hands someone please stop me i keep rambling abt the tsaritsa it makes me go NUTS#lays down. explodes
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Me, like I'm sitting at a cafe in a French philosophical film: Luffy, he kisses the homies good night, you know? He cuddles the bros to sleep
#i just wanted to post my cuddle hcs#he takes turns cuddling the bros#he is the little spoon with nami#he sleeps on top of zoro cuddled into his chest#he and usopp sleep face to face limbs wrapped around each other securely#arms thrown around sanji's waist#or snuggled by his side pining his arm (depending on how much he annoyed sanji that day)#i will continue as I watch more#op#one piece#headcanon accepted#agent h#agent report#if it's naps chopper sleeps on his chest#but at night they're holding hands from their respective bunks#he curls into robin's side like a puppy#esp when she's reading. he'll be asleep with his head in her lap#or if she's laying on her stomach reading he's leaning on her back#tucked into the crook of Franky's elbow using his arm as a blanket#he’s big spoon with Brook#and sleeps on Jinbei’s stomach limbs spread out#so sometimes his arm cuts off Jinbei’s airway and he wakes up#but he can’t get annoyed bc he thinks his captain is so cute#they have a schedule bc yes they will fight over who gets the captain#and brook plays dirty (I’ve been alone for 50 years! and Luffy starts crying for him)
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The idea that Gascoigne and Henryk were hunting partners (presumably with Henryk being Gascoigne's elder and mentor) and that Viola was Henryk's daughter is the funniest shit. Like how do you think that went over.
#bloodborne#father gascoigne#old hunter henryk#bloodborne viola#i do like the idea that it was actually quite poignant. a young gascoigne who'd been slowly falling for viola and her for him#he's terrified to say anything at all to henryk. this man who's taught him so much and been such a wonderful hunting partner alongside him#hes so worried about how it would look#that he's some corrupted man looking to bed his mentor's daughter#but oh. she's become everything to him#and so he puts aside his fear for the sake of tending to the societal sensibility of asking his beloved's father for her hand#and it takes all the courage he can muster.#god not even beasts can make a man tremble like the judgmental eyes of the father of the woman he loves#henryk initially doesn't take to it well#honestly the thoughts gascoigne dreads him thinking probably crop up in a quick rush. but then. he pauses himself.#he considers the sort of man his mentee is#he considers how happy viola seems when gascoigne spends time with the family#he considers his daughter is a lively young adult who'll probably just elope with him anyway if things are made difficult by tradition#he chuckles to himself as he thinks that. and he softens to the idea#if there's anyone his little viola will be happy with. it's this man.#he gives a curt nod and gives his first and only warning#you've got my blessing. but know that if you ever lay a hand on her that isn't loving. i'll have your head.#and so the rest is history. and in that moment all is well. and in that moment these men know not the future they will face.
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instead of sleeping im mourning people that are still alive. fucked up if you ask me
#moss feeling existential again#something something realizing that the people i love will die and some will die sooner than they deserve#but also death will grant them the relief they also deserve#but also that im not ready for it and i never will be#because when my mom dies who will cut my hair with loving hands#who will hug me without pushing me away despite the fact that im an adult#who will be my absolute best friend#who will i go to when im sad#who will gently scratch my head while i silently lay my head on her lap because im feeling depressed and just need company#she's not gone and i miss her#existential crisis
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Darcy pretending to be Marcy send tweet
#they kiss her girls and hug them and smile at them and let them cuddle them while pretending to be their cute little marcy#and if anne wakes up one night with marcy's hands tight around her neck#only for marcy to blink and back away horrified after a moment#well#she'll just let anne think marcy is a little bit messed in the head#we can't let our little secret out right?#the more aware marcy is the better#she takes no comfort in feeling her body be held and cuddled by the two girls she loves#because she knows it's not her in the drivers' seat. it's someone else laying with her girls#touching them. seeing them#sashannarcy#my posts
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havent posted my face in a while if anyone is mean to me i WILL cry btw
#ling.txt#anyway i had a whole plot written out in my head after writing that caption bc. god. can u imagine a baihe story like that actually 😭#pls i need a wuxia story of a wandering swordsman (<- thats a butch lesbian btw) whos known in all the jianghu#for his chivalry and amazing swordplay and the only daughter of a well-known grandmaster who is willful and skilled at martial arts#and who has never been beaten before in combat but her beauty is as highly spoken of as her fighting prowess so to finally settle matters#they hold a martial arts contest to determine who will be her spouse but instead she elopes with the handsome stranger who cant bear#to lay a hand on her and they have many adventures along the way and become a legend in their own right#before retiring after saving the realms three times over and they are never seen again except for whispers on the wind.... or whatever
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assignment is due on sunday and she given better points if you hand it in early which is fineee it's finee it's not at all terriblepractice it's. fine
#[.txt]#not even a 'you will lose points if you hand it in late' which is understandable#but. essentially the only way to get a full grade is to hand in the thing /early/. so what's the point of giving us a week to do it!#at that point it's as if the deadline is on wednesday if you lose points by turning it in On Time but Later in the week. eugh#uni tag#complaining tag#I mean also bad on me because I barely worked today. I'm missing one entire castle research. Because the video she gave us for it is broken#laying my head on a desk about it good fucking god I don't want to do this assignment I get weird just thinking about it#i'm still going to do it I just need to get the mind to actually change castle I'm doing this on because that video is useless
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Abigail just standing there (waiting for the bus).
#I was training figures today#I really suck at making people just stand there#I have no idea where things go#where do hands lay when they're idle#etc#this was me practicing doing it on my own after I drew some with ref#I still need practice for example I still think that the knees go much lower than they go#arms are much longer in my head too etc#anyway this was fun#the true question here is why abigail who is a waitress btw would wear those boots to work#the woke answer is that she slays#the broke answer is that the boots got out of my control#walked out of my control am I right#anyway this was really fun I love you Abigail Jones blorbo from my head <3333#abigail jones#wildflower soul#uhhhhh#blorbos from my head#original character#oc art#original character art#my art#artists on tumblr
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ooooh i woke up in a bad mood and it's so hard not to be a bitch about it
#i don't want to ruin the mood for my family so i'm just laying in my bed and think about everything that pisses me off#and i'm getting more and more mad about it#come to think of it it's kinda funny but also really frustrating#i probably just need to cry because i've been extremely tired and stressed for the past week#but i don't want to make myself sad on purpose so now i'm really angry over literally nothing lol#for example today i saw my colleague and turns out she knows my father#and she was like 'oh your dad really misses you!! he mentions you all the time!!' and i was like '....really?.....'#because i thought he didn't care at all (and the feeling is kinda mutual)#because call me crazy if you want but if i miss someone i just go talk to them.... problem solved........#we barely talk but apparently he's yapping abt me all the time to everyone so everyone thinks that he's oh such a loving and caring dad#which makes me look like a bitch of a daughter#which is like#on one hand i couldn't care less#but on the other#why would you talk about missing me to other people and bever bother to try and talk to me yourself??#though i probably dodged a bullet#talking to him is extremely hard because he's incredibly stuffy? boring? english doesn't have enough words for that#and i don't wanna listen to him talking about himself for 2 hours straight without having a chance to interrupt him 🤩🤩🤩#ooof#idk how to stop being mad i probably need to distract myself somehow#anyway there is probably a ton of mistakes here but i'm too lazy to fix them#idk i wish i could scream so loud that every bad thought in my head would disappear forever#i'm so tiredddddd
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hi feel free not to answer this but you're one of the only chronically ill people i know and i probably need to get my blood drawn because i am having Many Issues but i am. super afraid of needles. so basically the question is are needles that draw blood like,, really big? do they hurt a lot? sorry this is probably a dumb question im just terrified auhfguhgahhf
No worries! And in my experience, no not really! My blood draws never really hurt; it's about the same feeling like if your leg falls asleep pins and needles sensations, but only for a split second when the needle comes in and out. If done correctly, you won't feel anything during the actual process, maybe just a bit dizzy & numb. It may sting for a while after the draw (mine still does) but it's really really minor, you probably won't even notice it much. It may also bruise; it's pretty normal too.
The size of the needle varies, though, so here's a word of advice: search out for a more modern, accomodating hospital/lab, and a nurse who works with pediatrics patients, if you can (regardless of your actual age, they are just chiller about anxious people in general imo). Fear of needles is super common and is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about (I actually do well with blood draws but I'm Not Good with IVs and injections, the latter ones moreso than the former), so there is a solid chance they can accommodate you by using a smaller needle or/and local anesthetic (thought I think the last one is... Rarer. My dentist did it, but that man is a force of his own. I don't know how many of his practises are like... Normal).
Getting a good nurse that puts you at ease is so, so important. I cannot overstate it. I don't mean to make this sound bad but I can't lie either, if they mess up, can't find your vein, or just generally suck & rush you & make you feel stupid for asking for accomodations, get up and Leave. Because messed up draws do hurt (not too much, though! I'd say it's comparable to like... Accidentally biting your tongue kinda hurt). I only had one bad experience and I never went to that nurse again.
In general though: the needle probably isn't as big as you think it'd be, it's smaller than the injection ones usually, and you can ask for a smaller one; it doesn't hurt! Actually when I first got my blood drawn from my vein at 10 or so, I was like, wait, that's it? Because of a stupid policy my hospital usually only took blood from the fingertips for kids (don't ask. I don't get it either), and oh god, that hurt Much More than the "adult" one. I was so relieved after being scared out of my mind three minutes earlier. You don't have as much sensation in that area as you for in your fingertips, so if you ever had a papercut and want to compare: papercut hurts more & for longer than the blood draw does.
Good luck to you!! I hope you figure whatever's going on haha. Remember to drink water before the draw to make everyone's lives easier if it comes down to it!
#jay rambles about life.txt#jay gets asks.txt#cw needles#needles tw#I usually don't tag these but this time the description is really graphic so here you go#hopefully that doesn't mess up your search anon lmao#I also didn't want to add it because it's too graphic: I think usually in the USA they use g21 needles. mine uses 23g afaik which is smalle#maybe if you can you can google it or get your hands on smth of a similar size to get used to it! but I've never been scared of needles so#idk how that works#even at its worst the pain I had was like. very There & irritating but not enough to make me tear up or even clench my jaw#I'd say my flare ups hurt Much Worse lol#that was just the accident with the shitty nurse#the other bad experience I had was just me almost fainting. no extra pain! just lightheaded & had to lay down#edit to add because it popped into my head: I actually think most nurses come into the job more prepared for doing these accommodations than#not. especially if you're a teen anon#I started getting those regularly (every 2-3 months) when I was around 14. because pcos#and every time the nurse was like 'don't you wanna... look away or something? do you want us to turn on the music? put a cartoon on?'#and I'm like 'no this is good thank you :]' and proceeded to stare Directly At It. because I'm a freak#she found it unsettling at first and entertaining after that#but also it helps me monitor my hydration level on a more global basis than if or not I feel thirsty but that's a topic for another time
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RRRAAAGHH FINAL WEEKEND OF THE REN FEST PIC W THEE KNIGHT THE MYTH THE LEGEND SIR VICTOR. BARKING LIKE A DOG SIR JACOB FUCKING JUMPED OFF OF HIS HORSE AND ONTO SIR VICTOR TODAY I FEEL INSANE. between this and last weekend I feel INSANEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#I need this man carnally fr I’m so sorry I’m not normal sir Victor but I’m biting sheet metal abt u.#anyways last weekend;;;;;;; lays down.. sobs…….#my face#^ for context last weekend sir Victor was announcing and he Stood Up onto the back of his horse and started doing a silly little dance.#AND THEN PUT HIS HANDS BEHIND HIS HEAD AND STARTED GYRATING HIS HIPS!!!!!#I need him so fucking bad u guys don’t even know. MY knight fr#also dame Emma said hi to me and one of the new knights (???) was doing crowd work and she pet my wolf head :3#THEY USED ME IN THEIR SILLY CROWDWORK BACK AND FORTH!!!!!#nothing will top getting to hold sir Victor’s helmet + lance last year but this? this was Real Close besties#ALSO ALSO he has a new caparison so I need to update the background for his AUTOGRAPH. Which I have. I cannot stress enough that I am#Normal abt this man.#<- shaking w barely restrained lust
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sometimes polyamory is just a long line of partners telling you "okay so. while you were crying this morning, we all called and left separate uncoordinated voicemails on your doctor's answering machine about the latest administrative debacle. sorry,"
#i am very loved this is also unbelievably funny. christ my poor doctor. SHE CALLED ALL OF US BACK INDIVIDUALLY#THE WHOLE POLYCULE.....#head in hands. Whatever Works. get you a polycule of 2 to 6 very dedicated other individuals when life is a nightmare#they will let u lay in bed and cry while they confuse the hell outta various admin offices for u#autoimmune tag
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