#she kept bringing up the points she disagreed with and saying 'this is wrong and also stupid' with no actual reason why

[roseworth]

most frustrating thing ever is seeing someone talk about an opinion you dont agree with but you're willing to hear them out so you listen to what they say and its just them ranting passionately with 0 good points and no actual rebuttal of what you think

[purgaytorysupremacy]

update: he emailed being self-flagellating and then went on a rant about being conflict-adverse during class when we were talking about virtue theory as an example of a virtue he wishes he could cultivate and I had to just be like never-fucking-mind, man.

I know people say “just let people misunderstand you” and “be yourself! don’t care about what people think about you!” but have they actually sat in a room with people who can’t stand you and aren’t shy about it and how that makes you feel like an infinitesimally small dust mote on the wind???

[dufferpuffer]

Tbh, I actually think Ginny is a bit…thuggish, for want of a better word. More than a bit prone to physical violence as humour in a way I think Snape would find repulsive on account of his background. Snape would like her more than Percy (because he’ll see himself in Percy’s thirst to prove himself leading to poor choices and naturally hate him for it). But I think it’s quite likely she would be fairly far down his personal ranking of Weasleys, certainly before that final year. Arthur and Molly I do think he likes.

Late answer I'm so sorry but I think about this so much

Because you have good points, and it's helped me clarify how I think about them so thankyou <3... but I'm still torn.

She IS sporty, thuggish, 'Boorish' even - raised with a bunch of rowdy boys and has a lot to prove... while I don't think she was a bully, she still called Luna 'Loony' at first, and that's a bad look - though she fought more FOR people than against them... ... But that's all a bit like Lily, isn't it?

Firey redhead girl with a lot to prove, talented and doesn't let anyone talk down to her, a bit of a rough, teasing edge to her kindness, effortlessly popular... but also, eventually, more kind to 'outcasts'.

I'm not saying anyone who looks or acts vaguely similar to Lily is going to get Severus acting weird. He's traumatized and childish but he's still a grown man, not a lovesick moron. But I've been thinking about this a lot... and I find it hard to believe it wouldn't be a negative for him, even if only subconsciously.

Ultimately Ginny is not Lily and he isn't thinking of them as similar. But a fiery young redhead girl brewing potions in his class, snickering quietly with a friend about someone else - I think it'd rub him the wrong way, even if the memories he has are positive. Repulsive, as you said. How couldn't he find being reminded of his own childhood in the middle of teaching uncomfortable...?

At first - Severus would have been really HARD on Ginny. Like he is subconsciously daring her, testing her. Takes points for small things, snaps at her to pay attention - treats her like he treats Harry. He probably doesn't even really notice. Finds it annoying 'the Weasley girl is always vying for attention, no doubt spoiled by her mother and overshadowed by her brothers...' He thinks he has her all worked out. But he doesn't. He is wrong.

Well, he isn't entirely wrong - but he is missing the key point that she ISN'T vying for attention at all. HE can't ignore HER. Like Harry.

I think he bullied her. Like he bullies Harry, though less (too busy hounding Harry) - but still can't help himself from making uncalled for quips, or getting annoyed at some innocent-enough activity and taking points for no reason. I doubt she notices too much. Ron and Harry primed her, she thinks its normal Snape behaviour... but he doesn't do that to other kids.

But as she gets older... especially that final year... there's more for him to admire in her than not. She's more of a leader, strong, crafty, sneaky, cunning - she's helped Longbottom pull himself together and she openly is friends with outcasts like Luna. As a far more distant hand, as Headmaster, having her be a ''foil''... I think he really came to respect her. Like her. Rely on her, even.

It's a shame - if he could have worked with her I have no doubt they'd be friends. He grew himself around Lily, and Ginny is a similar shape.

~~~

Overall, I think Severus kept a working-relationship distance from Molly and Arthur. But I struggle to see him really getting along with Molly. She gets intense about things he would disagree with, she is bossy, she is overly emotional - and not afraid to snap bitingly at people.

I think he avoids starting shit with her, it's not worth it, but it's hard not to let an eye roll and a '...And you think that would be beneficial?' when she says something he disagrees with. If she gets haughty and snappy at him, likely bringing up what her children have told her about his classes and his manner and not shying away from picking at his looks - he could snap back just as hard.

I don't think they were a problem in meetings. They don't WANT to bicker. But I think that resulted in not speaking unless it was basic "Two sugars, please - thankyou, Professor." and "Yes, your daughter is doing fine - though needs to focus more on her homework."

Arthur is a character fandom often glosses over. Molly's 'crimes' are put on his head and his eccentricities are blown out of proportion. He is very much Molly's 'keeper' and anchor, he is kind but not a pushover, he is responsible, he can be stiff-lipped when he needs to be and playful when he doesn't... While not friends, Severus would appreciate him. Think he was a good egg, doing good work to a high standard... even if, perhaps, he shouldn't be so reckless with his belongings.

[atimeofyourlife]

@steddie-week Day 5- Established relationship

Steve hadn't meant for it to go on for so long. At first, he hadn't wanted to come out and tell everyone about his and Eddie's relationship because he was worried about what the others would say. Worried about it making it back to his parents. But then it became a game to them. Seeing how long before anyone else noticed, how far they could go before someone added it up.

They had told Robin, of course, Steve couldn't keep secrets from her if he tried. She was the first person he had told about his bisexuality, and had figured out his crush on Eddie before he'd had a chance to process it.

But keeping it from the kids? It was too easy, too fun.

Everyone, especially Dustin, still kept assuming that Steve was dating Robin. No amount of denial would convince them that there wasn't a secret relationship there. Even after Robin started inviting Vickie along to hang out, holding her hand and cuddling up together, they wouldn't accept that Steve and Robin weren't dating.

Once, Lucas pointed out that if Steve and Robin weren't dating, maybe Eddie and Robin were. That was met by fighting to keep a straight face, followed by Steve, Robin, and Eddie laughing about it as soon as they were alone.

Steve and Eddie allowed themselves to be more open and free with the touches, the hugs, the flirty comments. And still nothing. Eddie spent an entire evening with his head in Steve's lap. Every time they were stood next to each other, Steve would wrap his arm around Eddie's waist, pulling his boyfriend close into his side. An excessive amount of pet names, far more than they would use while alone, comments about dates, mentions of waking up in bed together. No one picked up on it. Dustin kept insisting that Steve must be dating Robin.

The only person to actually figure it out was Will. He looked a little scared as he approached Steve and Eddie as they are about to leave the party that had been at the Hopper-Byers place.

"Um. Don't hate me for asking this, but are you guys together? Like dating?" He asked shyly.

"Yeah, we are. We've been together for a few months." Steve replied gently.

"And that's ok? To date another guy?"

"There's nothing wrong with like or dating guys. And if anyone says that there is, they're the ones that are wrong." Eddie explained.

"Were you trying to hide it?" Will asked after a moment. "Are you mad that I guessed it?"

"We're not mad. And at first, we were trying to hide it. Because we didn't know how everyone would react, if anyone would disagree with it. Like, I know that Mike and Nancy's parents don't have a good opinion of people like us, and it's hard to know how much they have picked up because, in the year that we were together, I never heard Nance disagree with her parents on what they said about it." Steve said, "And I'm not saying they do have bad opinions, it's just I know that they could."

"After that, it was just really funny to see how far we could get without anyone noticing. One time Dustin walked in, and Steve was laid out on top of me barely ten seconds after we'd stopped making out, and he still thinks Steve is dating Robin." Eddie added.

Will snorted with laughter at that. "Thanks for telling me. I won't tell anyone else."

-

It took them kissing in front of everyone before anyone else noticed. It was at a pool party Steve was throwing. Eddie joined Steve on the pool chair he was lounging on and handed him a beer.

"Thanks, baby." Steve pulled Eddie down, and kissed him. A stunned silence fell over the yard.

"You just kissed Eddie?" Dustin shouted.

"Congratulations, your eyes still work," Eddie replied.

"But what about Robin?" Dustin questioned.

"Don't bring me into this." Robin called, she was sat on the pool chair next to Steve's with Vickie in her lap.

"Yeah, Robin has her girlfriend sitting on her lap, and you still believe she's dating a man. That's homophobic." Vickie added.

"Look, we told you repeatedly that me and Rob were not dating. Those two have been all over each other for ages, and me and Eddie haven't exactly been subtle about it. It's on you for assuming, at this point." Steve explained.

"But you didn't tell me," Dustin replied, sounding put out by it.

"Dude, we didn't have to. No one is entitled to know about our relationship. If we never told anyone, that's our choice. Especially with a relationship like ours, we can't be too careful. We don't want the wrong person finding out." Eddie shot back.

"And anyway, you did pretty much walk in on us making out one time," Steve added, before kissing Eddie again.

I wrote this with a fever so sorry if its not that good Also on AO3

[whateverisbeautiful]

THIS IS LONG AND CONTROVERSIAL

I love that we’re on the topic of Judith because though I love your breakdowns, I respectfully disagree. I’ve never been a Judith fan so I’ve always been able to look at the scenes for what they really are. Though I love your words, you mentioned, “ Rick was always going to accept her and needed to accept the reality of what her DNA was” I’m paraphrasing. However, if Rick was always going to accept her then he wouldn’t NEED to do anything. A big part you’re missing is the sentence “ I had to accept that to keep her alive.” There was nothing instinctual about their “ connection” as Rick is admitting that her being kept alive was contingent upon accepting her Shaneness. Take RJ. Rick HAD to reject knowing his son to keep him alive. Did he want to? No. Based on ricks words, his motivation to keep Judith alive was contingent upon accepting her. And we do see this in the deleted scene where he ignores her. Rick had ample of times to tell Judith he loves her, yet those moments are spent with him hallucinating Shane talking about how she looks like him. Or him compromising her healthcare because he was ashamed to tell Siddiq that she is Shane’s child. Rick never asked about her as a person in TWOL. In every episode where Judith isn’t used as a prop for Rick, but is actually interacting with him, a hallucination of Shane or a reminder that she isn’t ricks child, lurks by. He only asked if she was alive and okay, and the second time he brought her up was for Michonne to almost bring up RJ. Michonne tells him she hasn’t heard from her and he barely flinches. And pictures drawn of her is nothing when he shows that his dreams is how he truly connected with those he loves and yet she was not included. People bring up Rick wanting her when Lori told him she was pregnant but you must remember, that was when he thought the baby was his. I agree with the other person because the entire “ Judith isn’t mine” convo does involve obligation because ricks literal next words are, “ you have to accept this or it won’t work.” Let’s hold that sentence to “ I had to accept that to keep her alive.” Based on his words one action wholly and only lead to the other. And let be honest. If Rick had to pretend that she was his in order to love her it would look just like it looks now with him knowing that she isn’t his, so if that’s the case, why did he NEED to accept her being Shane’s? I’m not hating on Rick, I just think it’s wild that no offense but Judith is literal the physical manifestation of Lori and Shane’s betrayal and if Rick hated the fact that they betrayed him, why would he be wrong to not want this child or have resentment toward a child who will always look like the worst thing that’s happened to him?

My response ended up being long too. But I’m glad that respectful dialogue and disagreements can be had here. This show has always been good at sparking discussions. For me, it wasn’t that I felt Rick was always inherently going to accept Judith. When I said “he knew he was going to love this child as his own” I should clarify that better. What I meant is Rick knew early on he was going to raise her, regardless of her origins or his resentment toward Shane and Lori.

The reason I think that is because when Rick first finds out Lori is pregnant he immediately addresses it with her, and Lori confirms that she and Shane were sleeping together in that same conversation. So Rick at the very least knows the baby may be Shane’s during that time, but he still goes on to take the stance that the baby will be raised by him regardless. And so even before Judith was born Rick seemed to have accepted the responsibility of keeping Judith alive knowing she potentially might not be his, which I get is different than accepting and embracing her as his daughter - something I think it’s fair to say he wrestled with at the onset. Especially once he knew for certain Judith wasn’t his. But at some point, Rick did choose to accept and love Judith as his and I don’t think Rick is the type of character to do that halfheartedly or with underlying resentment forever attached to this child.

When I wrote, “Due to the circumstances, Rick did have to accept/choose Judith as his child in a different way than he had to accept Carl when he was born or even RJ when he learned of him” I meant that it wasn’t just an automatic given for him to accept/embrace Judith as his own. He was going to have to make the choice to do so in a way that he didn’t have to choose to do so with Carl or RJ. And it’s understandable if accepting her was a weighty choice knowing that she’s the result of his loved ones' betrayal.

I understand that point about how his wording of “I had to accept that. I did. So I could keep her alive.” shows keeping her alive was rooted in first accepting her as Shane and Lori’s child. Where I differ is in thinking that Rick having to accept that in the beginning then impacted his ability to love and embrace Judith going forward.

Once Rick accepted her - which again, I’m not saying was just some automatic thing for him to do, because that’s no easy thing to embrace a child from essentially your wife and best friend’s affair - she was his daughter.

And to me, the reason thoughts of Shane are often tied closely to Rick’s thoughts of Judith is because of that acceptance aspect. Rick doesn’t look at Judith and forget or overlook her origins. But he loves and claims her even with the knowledge of her being Shane’s at the forefront of his mind.

To reiterate, imo, the reason Rick might’ve felt he needed to accept Judith being Shane’s is so that he could know he’s capable of fighting for her survival and loving her without needing to be in denial about being her biological father. And Rick wouldn’t have been wrong to have not wanted to take on the role of Judith’s parent - but since he did take on that role, I think it would be wrong for him to then perpetually resent her.

With the examples given about why Rick might have a detachment from Judith, I think it just comes down to a difference in perspective. Because for me, I see that deleted scene with Siddiq and I don't think Rick's deflection there is because he'd rather hide the shame than prioritize Judith's health. I see that scene and think yes it stirs up the shame of Lori and Shane's disloyalty but perhaps Rick also didn’t tell Siddiq at that moment because Judith was present and it wasn’t an urgent thing to discuss right there in front of her.

In the first 4 episodes of TOWL, Rick was so trapped not just in the CRM but inside himself that it took him a while to ask a lot of questions about their family. So the fact that even in that overwhelmed and fearful state he still checked on Judith to at least know she was alive and okay says something to me.

And Rick’s reaction to many things in episode 4 was mostly internal. So in the midst of debating something as big as whether or not he and Michonne are going to go home together, I can see him just feeling like it’s too much to also process that Judith might not be okay after all.

I also think the phone pictures aren't so easily dismissible as insight into how Rick feels about Judith. Dreams were the biggest thing that kept Rick going, true. And losing Carl's face but still being able to specifically see Michonne in his dreams was vital. At the same time, those phone images mattered a lot to him, which is part of why Michonne gifting the phone image of Carl is so impactful. She gave him Carl back through one of the methods he used to hold onto his family members over the years.

Rick wasn't obligated to get phone images of Judith but he did. He went and took the time to describe her to the artist and I interpret that as him wanting to preserve his daughter's memory as best he could.

But with Judith being so young when Rick was captured, I can see Rick knowing that whatever image he has of Judith in his mind is not who she is now years later which could partly be why her image came up less for him - because he doesn’t even know what her image is now.

Even on the phones, it looks like Rick tried to have Judith drawn older in some of them because he was aware she’d changed in ways he wasn't able to see. It might be painful for him to still be imagining a four-year-old when he knows she’s so much older now and has likely had his own image fade from her mind.

There are people who would absolutely take the approach mentioned of deep down always seeing the child as a product of one of the worst things that happened to them and letting it affect their view of the kid - I just don't think that's the case for Rick's character. I guess I'm basically just saying that it wasn't a perfectly smooth road toward acceptance of Judith, but once he did - he did it wholeheartedly. And again, I get that this can feel like I’m leaning toward a more kumbaya approach, but I also think these explanations can be just as valid. It all just depends on the different ways we’re all free to view it.

[noddytheornithopod]

The Fireside Girl Whose Flames Grew so Large She Burned Herself, and the One She Loves

So I just realised something about Act Your Age and a certain aspect of it that always bugged me and was a major factor in my frustration with the episode.

"Boo!!!!!! Shut up!!!!!!! You've talked about this episode to death already!!!!!!"

I don't disagree. I'm pretty tired of it, myself. To the point where I see "AYA sucks" takes these days I just roll my eyes and move on, even if I agree. But what I am posting about is a new insight that just occurred to me. As much as I hate to admit it, Act Your Age might be a train wreck, but it's a train wreck I can't take my eyes off of. It's a disaster, but it continues to fascinate me with the implications it has, even if they drive me up the wall.

So basically, one of the big things that bothered me is that Isabella and Phineas' relationship regressed, but in the main series, they seemed to be getting closer as the seasons progressed. Pretty weird to have the main show suggest one thing, only for Act Your Age to go "actually Isabella gave up once high school came around and basically kept her distance from Phineas as much as she could" and Phineas being depressed and thinking he's not good enough for Isabella (which I'd argue was made worse by Isabella's actions I just referred to, but that's a story for another time).

I could go on about how this was a barely thought out way to throw in some cheap angst that is immediately swept under the rug despite opening huge cans of worms, but that's not what I'm here for. I'm here because I think I might finally understand how this seeming contradiction now works.

Isabella grew distant from Phineas in high school BECAUSE they got closer.

This is all pure conjecture. The show could prove me wrong some day, and other people might have completely different ideas, but this is what I'm thinking.

As I mentioned, with the show, Phineas and Isabella seem to be getting closer overtime. Isabella might be running into bigger challenges to confess her love (still not over how it took a literal zombie apocalypse to stop her when she decided to just straight up confess), but Phineas also grows more comfortable around Isabella, something she obviously loves, I mean he even seems to care about her in a unique way (again, Pharmacists, the moment he realised she wasn't with him, he grew OBSESSED with finding her, risking his and everyone else's safety just because he feels that guilty and worried about their separation).

I don't know what the revival will do with Phineas and Isabella, but I expect more of the same. Mostly the occasional gag, maybe a sweet moment here and there, Isabella maybe tries something here or there even if it can't be a full confession. But for the purposes of this theory, I'm assuming that would happen, and they would continue to really like each other.

So yes, they're closer friends than ever. The spark has lit a fire. There's a line I like in Star Wars Jedi: Survivor where the character Merrin talks about how fire will warm you and keep you company, but left unchecked it will burn everything, leaving only ash. I'm paraphrasing, but in the context of the game, it's referring to protagonist Cal Kestis' struggle of growing more obsessed and passionate over fighting the Empire. This obsession indeed grows and consumes him to a point where he ends up in a very dark place by the end of the game.

So basically, what I'm saying is, Phineas and Isabella might grow closer, but that closeness will bring out their feelings more. Phineas ultimately realises how he feels by high school, of course. That is one part of the fire that has grown. But Isabella? She's probably getting more and more mixed messaging. Despite Phineas' growing love and affection towards her, she still can't just spell out how she really feels, which is what Phineas needs to understand. She might have her courage growing, but we've seen the Mysterious Force in Phineas and Ferb - Phineas remaining oblivious to Isabella's true feelings for him is part of the show's status quo. She's literally doomed to fail. Also, if she's even closer, she's going to feel even more afraid to ruin what they have. As brave as she is, this one anxiety is her Achilles' heel, and she's even more afraid of failing. It's too much pressure.

The Fireside Girl is burning.

She can't handle all of this. So what does she do? Give up. Phineas is her best friend? Doesn't matter, it hurts too much to even be around him. Is it contradictory that she's afraid of destroying what they have, but she does this out of hurt anyway? You bet, humans are messy like that. Always thinking she just might be there only to find he has something else distracting him, or anytime she makes progress, cosmic forces set her back. This fire is raging, affecting not just her, but Phineas, too. Her choice to grow distant makes him miss her. Worst part, he doesn't even understand why it's like this.

In the end, there is only ash. The relationship they had burned to a sliver of what it used to be. The saddest part is, I can't help but think Phineas would try to amend what was wrong, but that clearly fails too, leading to how he probably just thinks Isabella is above him and he doesn't deserve her love (oh hey, that part actually became relevant after all). He too enters a despair over their relationship, just accepting that she's not around anymore despite having stronger feelings than ever for her. He even seems to have a harder time inventing. The last of the fire goes out.

Lucky for them, a phoenix rises from those ashes. In Act Your Age, they finally talk (albeit briefly and in a very rushed scene that sweeps so much under the rug), and they can truly be open with each other again. A new fire is born, one that they can hopefully keep under control.

So what can we gleam from this? I feel like Phineas and Isabella actually could've had a real chance to get together earlier, but as things grew stronger between them, that made things more delicate, too. Not only did the circumstances of their ruthless status quo, but their own flaws ruined thins. Phineas' struggle to understand complex, hard to define emotions like love and his singular focus on what to do, not realising his love language is incomprehensible to Isabella... maybe his own love being incomprehensible to himself (see "I know cute when I see it on my cute tracker" lol). But more importantly, Isabella growing closer but still misreading what Phineas does, her own personal expectations AND fears being heightened by their closer bond, and expecting him to just get what she does. If they DID become closer, more time where he doesn't focus on her probably hurts even more.

In the end, Act Your Age had ideas, but they were afraid to commit to them. They somehow did both too much and too little. I actually think if they had a stronger vision, this episode could've been great, but it would also risk being too serious for Phineas and Ferb, and then people would be mad for DIFFERENT reasons. They didn't think it through, but well, some of us fans are just obsessive enough to pick up the pieces and try and make sense of it all. Because of our own burning fires of passion for this show, and for some of us, this relationship.

[makayla-is-writing]

Female Mountain Fae x Blind Female Reader (Pt.3)

Find all parts here

You whine when Ula kisses both of your eyelids, unused to such affections. Growing up blind, you were labeled the town freak. What followed was a life of isolation at the bottom of the mountain, in a cabin with your mother and father. 

“How is it possible to trade sight?” How could it ever happen? Magic was for fairytales, which your life sadly was not. 

Ula clasps your hands, nudging them with her nose. 

“How is not important. What matters is why you did it. Giving your sight away meant the world to me. However, you then left…” Ula turned quiet, her grip on your wrists tightening. It held firm, almost painful. Only after you release a slight whimper does she relax her hands. 

“Of course, it wasn’t your fault! You didn’t have a choice. You couldn't have decided such a cruel thing, to leave me all alone. It must have been your parents that kept you from me.” You yelp when Ula suddenly pulls you into her lap, nosing at the back of your neck.

“I-I don’t remember, but wouldn’t I have run into you on my walks? My mother takes me out constantly.” Ula scoffs, bringing you to her chest. You feel her breathe in deeply, before exhaling quietly. 

“That mother of yours has done no such thing. I would’ve sensed your presence, as I did today. I bet you she lied, and was instead walking you round wherever she decided to hide you. They all wanted to keep you from me. As if you could’ve stayed out for long.” Ula wraps you in her arms, keeping you secured as she stands. You stand with her, no matter how unwilling you might be. 

“Your mother warned you of witches, did she?” You nod, not understanding where Ula was going with her point. You both begin to walk, not knowing where but following within her grasp.

“You mentioned her saying that witches were evil, but she’s wrong. In fact, those villagers that trapped me here are the evil ones.” You didn’t disagree with that, thinking how cruel they must have been. 

Ula begins to shake. You suspect she’s crying as you feel small tear drops fall from her chin to your head. Not knowing what to do, Ula continues leading you deeper into the woods. With your plan to wait for Mother left behind, you can’t help but follow Ula and her warmth. 

“I’m sorry for what you went through… But now you have me! I’ll go down and tell everyone how nice you are. We can be friends and spend time back at my cabin.” You smile before shouting in surprise when Ula swings you round.

“Oh what sweet words. You’re as lovely as the day we met. I doubt, however, that your mother would welcome my kind. I’m leading us to my home, a quaint little cottage surrounded by lilies.” Ula hums, dragging her lips up from your jaw to your cheek, before landing on the corner of your mouth.

“Mmh, what do you mean? Your kind?” What a funny phrase to use.

“Oh, did I not tell you my dear?” Ula’s grip turns tight, just slightly. “I am a witch.”

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

There's been something going on in my head lately. This topic is about Shinichiro and I feel disappointed. Because Shinichiro is a man who I see as the ideal older brother and parent, who is really good-hearted and loves his siblings more than anything. This is definitely Shinichiro. He is a really good-hearted man who can be easily trusted. But today, some of the things written in Izana's letter confused me a lot. We had discussions about this issue on Twitter and many things came to my mind. Our topic is this friends;

Shinichiro knew that Izana was brother to Emma, so he went to the Philippines to pick up his brother. He picked up his younger brother and went back to Japan. He gave Izana an incredibly beautiful day on the first day, and in fact, in Izana's words, gave him the best day of his life. He gave her the opportunity to live her beautiful day. Afterwards, she continued to take care of him and spend the day with him. What bothers me is that Shinichiro knew that Emma and Izana were sisters. Why didn't he come and tell Emma this in the first place? Was it such a difficult thing to say that you found your brother? For God's sake, he wasn't just Emma's brother, but theirs too. As soon as he found Izana, why didn't he bring her home and introduce her to Grandpa? Why didn't he take Mikey and Emma to their orphanage visits? Why did he promise Izana an empty family?

so apparently, from the letter we saw in the trailer, we find out that shinichiro actually /knew/ that emma and izana were related and still kept them separate when he could have adopted him...shinichiro, that's so sick and twisted shit is there an adult who didn't do izana wrong?The adoption process is surely hard but at this point he could have simply brought emma to visit him and introduce izana to mikey when he got to see him at the orphanage. Mikey was positive about the idea (as we see in the manga) so why didn't Shinichiro do anything about it?When he talks to mikey asking him his opinion on having another brother , he was already an adult, so why didn't he do anything? It's like he kinda forgot about izana because they're not "related", but at that point, why did he get izana's life in the first place? Because he was Emma's brother? And like this we get to the initial point again: he could have, at least, introduced them all

Well firstly I'm pretty sure Shinichiro didn't pick Izana up from the Philippines at all. Since Izana was in a foster home adoption type place and then juvie in Japan (that's how he met Kakucho at the foster home and then the S62 at juvie). I'm also not sure how a Japanese teenager would've been just allowed to take a kid from the Philippines to Japan like that. Actually Izana doesn't even seem to have known he had family in the Philippines until Karen told him. He thought she was his mum and that he had the same dad as Shinichiro (not clear if he knew the guys name or what he looked like though).

I agree though, from our perspective it does seem like Shinichiro made a big mistake here with not introducing Izana to the others or at least telling them. However Shinichiro didn't have our perspective. Shinichiro had no idea what was going to happen or what the consequences of doing that would be. I feel like this is one of those things which will divide the fandom, with some ageeeing and some disagreeing (both are totally fine though).

Like I think Shinichiro was right not to rush into things here, taking on the care of another child is a big responsibility and Shinichiro was already practically raising two, not to mention what kind of impact a change in environment could have on Izana's mental health, a kid he had known for a few hours at this point. I don't know a lot about the irl adoption process but I'm pretty sure you have to spend more then a few hours with the kid before deciding anything. I think that's why they then started exchanging letters, as a way for them to get to know each other better and get more comfortable with each other.

I'm guessing the next part of Shinichiro's plan was to get to know Izana better and get Izana more comfortable with him before introducing him to the others. We know Shinichiro was at least thinking about introducing Izana to them because of the question he asked Mikey.

But then I'm guessing what stopped him was all the complications. Aka Mikey ripped Sanzu's face open and Izana beat up a bunch of kids and then basically forced one to take his own life. Put them together and they don't get along and you're going to have a big problem on your hands. Like I understand why Shinichiro wanted to move slowly here, this isn't something that should've been rushed. Not to mention the warning signs Izana was already showing towards Mikey by asking Shinichiro to stop talking about him and saying hearing about Mikey gives him a headache.

I'd say the main mystery here is why he didn't tell Emma/ bring Emma with him to visit. I'm not sure if he didn't wanna get her hopes up or if he wss worried about her or Izana's reaction (though they both seem like they would've been positive), or if he didn't want to make Emma keep the secret from Mikey but didn't want to let Mikey know yet. That is a bit of mystery.

Also to be completely fair to Shinichiro I don't think he ever would've expected things to play out the way they did. He was only a teenager himself when he first met Izana and even as a young adult it's a big responsibility to bring Izana into the house and make sure all his siblings were doing ok. He clearly wanted to unite them all but wanted it done in the correct way. Shinichiro has only been shown to want the best for his siblings so I'm sure he thought he was doing the right thing here. Though obviously this is just my take and we're all going to have different opinions on this.

[itsgirlcraft]

Hm. I..think I just unveiled a bit of my dark backstory. Neat

Long story short, last week my mom said something like "it's not fair to everyone else if you're just hanging out" in relation to college and chores and getting a job.

Anddddd...this isn't the first time. The last time was back in September 2023 where she went into an emotional rant about it. I checked my notes app abt that first time and damn. It did Not Go Well.

Putting a cut here bc it gets more vent-y and personal.

I had really horrible intrusive thoughts that first time. I was terrified of her "catching" me resting, even just eating. So I pretended to work on college after finishing my actual work, long after the sun set. I kept having thoughts of, "she's right I'm just a burden, rest is a reward I can't ever enjoy anything again I shouldn't sleep or eat anymore," etc. I felt like I was purposefully being dramatic, so I could get pity points, even though guilt was eating me alive.

However, this second time was different. I don't think it was all that emotional for either of us. Tbh I think I've actually gotten better in a lot of ways!

I tried to explain myself when she said so initially, trying to show my side of things. After, I just..went to work on my college assignment with nothing more than mild disdain for her. It was more a sign to rebel rather than give in, and I feel more confident in myself now! I even feel that what I've done is good enough, that I deserve rest and celebration!

And now, in the days later, I've dissected the whole thing logically, comparing our povs and what I agree/disagree with. I've explored the opportunities for why I'm wrong and why she's wrong, and that all of this is still my interpretation of her argument. None of what *I* assumed here may be right, because this may not be an attack whatsoever on her part.

Because I DO agree that chores should take up part of my day if I do stick with 1-2 classes that are ACTUALLY easy for me. I literally WANT to do that. I just don't like that she's implying 1, she's trying to pick my battles for me, and 2, that having fun is hurting others. Because from what I understand, she thinks any less than 3+ classes is too little, and I'm just "chilling" all day.

But last semester's 2 classes, combined with my laptop breaking, nearly broke me. I had to fight to get to this point, where I've gone beyond the shores of my comfort zone and straight into the depths. I got on a public bus and went to my college campus on my own, for the first time for both. I figured out how to get my student id, got on the wrong bus, and was fine with it! I was calm and trusted that, eventually, I'd get home!! That's INSANE, okay? I GOT ON THE WRONG BUS AND GOT OFF SOMEWHERE UNKNOWN, AND I DIDNT PANIC, I TRUSTED MYSELF AND THE WORLD TO BRING ME HOME!!!!! AND BY GOD, IM FUCKING PROUD OF THAT!!!

And yeah. Even tho my mom says she's impressed with that, her little talk last week felt hypocritical. Hopefully I'll get around to telling her all this soon, because it seems she's had this thought in her head for awhile...And for once, I don't want to avoid confrontation.

[morsesnotes]

A little ramble about Joan and Morse...

[There will be spoilers if you haven't finished Endeavor]

A common take I've seen in this fandom is that Joan was waiting around for him. That Morse had all these chances he didn't take to express his feelings. So her shutting him down in S5/S6 was totally his own fault. I disagree with this and don't really understand it.

Here's why:

They only start getting to know each other properly in S2, and Morse has a girlfriend at that point.

Morse becomes aware of his feelings for Joan at the end of Coda, and he went to the Thursdays' house immediately after. It seemed like he intended to talk about it with Joan, but she was clearly traumatized, and not in a place to deal with romantic declarations. She'd already decided she was leaving. What if he said how much he cared and then she was gone? When you think about the abandonment issues this guy has, and the fact she is literally leaving him in that moment, can you blame him for being afraid?

Nevertheless, he's openly welling up in front of her (a very odd thing for a man in the mid-60s to do) and telling her if she needs anything to let him know. There's no way a woman wouldn't pick up on this. Not to mention constantly putting her life before his at the bank.

When Joan contacts him in the vaguest form possible, it's enough for him to do exactly what he said he would. He goes out of his way to find her and indicates there's something between them that can happen. He tells her he cares what happens to her and whether or not she's in his life. Joan makes him leave.

Morse proposes to her. She says no and specifically cites her dad as a reason it would be a bad idea. When the phone rings, Morse is willing to let it go. She's the one who picks it up, brings it to him, and leaves before he can do anything about it.

Even though he doesn't stay at the hospital, the Doctor presumably would've told her he stopped by.

When she moves back to Oxford, he gives her some space, which is entirely correct given what she's been through. He takes up her invitation to her party and makes sure he is there. He's clearly eager at the chance to spend time with her. But then she tells him she wants to set him up with someone else.

Eventually Morse can't take any more rejection, especially with Claudine having left him. He's gotten the message Joan was sending him and lets it go. This is when Joan decides to ask for a coffee. It's the first time she actually initiates something and given the context I think it's perfectly understandable for Morse to turn the offer down? It's fair enough if he doesn't want to get hurt again, isn't it? Idk, Joan's timing here rubbed me the wrong way. It was the mature thing for him to do and showed he saw her as more than a rebound.

Finally, a few weeks later Morse realizes in Icarus that life is too short and takes her up on it, but now she says she's sick of waiting around.

The fan reaction I saw with that moment was, "Yeah you tell him Joan! Fuck him!" And it made me go "???". It's true it wasn't the best timing on his part, but it's not as if he had a habit of turning up when it suited him. She was the one stringing him along, wanting his attention one minute and then rejecting it the next. She could've said she was busy and they could do it some other time in the week. Her reaction was way too harsh.

Don't get me wrong, I love Joan and am by no means the type to view Morse as a poor little Meow Meow who can do no wrong. However, I feel like it's super unfair to put it all on him when Joan was going through her own problems and has her own difficulties expressing herself. He gave her countless opportunities to open up, and she pushed him away. At a certain point, it'd be weird if he ignored her wishes and kept attempting to pursue her. It wouldn't be a good look if he tried stopping her from marrying his friend either. As far as he knows, she's moved on.

Morse may have had trouble saying it out loud, but his actions spoke volumes. Surely that counts for something? He also wrote her that incredibly romantic letter in Zenana and straight up said "Please believe me to have been yours, always". Keep in mind again this is a British man in the 60s-70s and the men around Joan so far have been deeply repressed. Seems pretty forward to me! I simply don't believe this wouldn't spark curiosity in Joan to figure out what he meant. That she'd just wait around until Morse came to visit her to ask about it, and that seeing him in the state he's in, she'd leave it there. This woman who wants passion, who's independent, who cares about the people in her life, who knows how it feels to be saving face while suffering inside, and her literal job involves helping children come to terms with their trauma. Her total passive behavior towards Morse doesn't make sense! Like it doesn't even have to be romantic! They can interact as friends!

He carries a ton of trauma and emotional baggage which makes him terrified of losing what he has with her. Not to mention his respect for Thursday. I don't see why we can't have empathy for both of them.

And yeah, he was being a dick in S6 but again, he's allowed to be angry and in fact it's healthy for him to actually let it out rather than having this idealized view of Joan forever or holding it in like he usually does.

Btw, with his previous behavior taken into account, him not showing up in Uniform was highly unusual and should've been a "What's happened to him?" moment for Joan. Not, "Classic Morse. Works comes first."

Anyway, sorry for the essay and thank you if you read all of it. I just wanted to get all my thoughts together in one place.

[fantasymindpalace]

What the IC and Rhys did was awful. They shouldn’t have kept the secret from Feyre. But let’s not forget that Nesta originally agreed to keep the secret as well. And the only reason she told Feyre was because she wanted to hurt her. She literally weaponized Feyre’s potential death and miscarriage all because she was angry at Amren. Rhys and the IC sucks for keeping the pregnancy thing a secret, but so does Nesta.

And you’re right. Feyre’s her sister. So why didn’t she tell Feyre immediately after finding out about the secret? Why wait until she was angry and lashing out to tell feyre? Unlike the rest of the IC, she owes Rhys no loyalty. She could’ve said something a lot sooner, but instead she used the knowledge to hurt her little sister.

So, yeah, Feyre definitely had to right to know. Rhys and IC are absolute trash for keeping the secret. But Nesta, as Feyre’s sister, should’ve told Feyre right away once she realized that no one else would. She could’ve had a conversation with Feyre. Instead, she chose to tell Feyre that she and her unborn baby might die in the most apathetic way possible.

Honestly Feyre was done so wrong by everyone in the series, including Nesta. Like imagine finding out that everyone, including your own sister, knew that you and your unborn baby might die and you only found out because your sister was lashing out.

If we’re going to hold Rhys and IC accountable for keeping Feyre in the dark, why don’t we hold Nesta accountable as well when she also agreed to keep it a secret from her sister? Nesta isn’t a hero in this situation. In fact, there are no heroes - only a victim, which is Feyre.

this is my personal opinion, obvi the books are open to your personal interpretation. i think nesta may not have told feyre right away because it was probably very intimidating for her to openly disagree with the inner circle. i mean, they clearly don’t receive criticism from outsiders very well. yes, they do keep each other in check, but if a non member of the ic disagrees with or critiques them, well i think their actions speak for themselves. i also think the ic meddles WAY too much into the archerons family affairs. the sisters relationships with each other are not the inner circles business. nesta’s delivery of the information was less than ideal, but i don’t necessarily disagree with it either. yes, she did mean to cause harm with those words. however, to me, the severity of the situation warrants a strong reaction. and the importance of the information outweighs the delivery. shit comes out in heated moments, that’s just real life. i mean, the ic literally went behind their own high lady’s back and kept secrets about her very life and pregnancy, and nesta was just supposed to go along with it?? at the end of the day, feyre needed to know. and nesta was the only one brave enough to speak the truth to her. that took a lot of guts. and even after, they gaslit her into believing that saying something hurtful in an argument is worse than literally withholding medical information from the high lady of their court. they deflected the blame and put it all on nesta. but after all, there are just my meaningless opinions on the matter. you bring up valid points and i do agree at the end of the day feyre got done soooo dirty. however, nesta was courageous enough to do something that nobody else in the ic was willing to do, and i respect it

[opinated-user]

Outside of the Snape section, what do you think of the rest of Orchard's Harry Potter video? I think she makes some good points and there is a lot I've disagreed with her on in the past.

the rest as well was pretty bad. just like her first video, you aren't gaining anything watching her video that you wouldn't have by watching the videos of other people who are far better explaining their points. she is very close to reach something but she never does it. the point about how the women in HP are written with some misogynistic tropes and don't ultimately do much outside of that? heard that before. it's nothing new. the only thing LO add is about how the "anti slavery" portion of Hermione is written as a flaw, which somehow she doesn't relate back to how rowing views activist and activism in general as people being annoying. the idea that ron is written as clashing with hermione purely because of romantic tension is so reductive and then all their disagreements being purely jelousy is just... wrong. she talks about how people hated ron in the final book and apparently she missed the part about how ron was in direct contact with a cursed artifact that literally brings out the worst on people. that thing about him rubbing on harry's face that his parents are dead is because the collar he has is feeding off all his insecurities and fears. this is not an issue with ron specifically, anyone would end up saying something like that or worse because they're quite literally lashing out. he does tries to apologize regardless and harry doesn't want to hear about it, because they're in the middle of a war and have a friend is more important than unpack every single awful bad comment someone said. when talking snape, she either lies or forgot that snape did kept persuing harry's mom for far later after he already said a magic racist slur to her and she had to consistently reject him over and over again, in part too because snape just refused to apologize or see what was the issue in the first place, preferring instead to keep being mad at james. there's are so many little things that she says about the character that are outright not true or contradicted by the actual text and does literally sound like coming out from a snape apologist type of fan.

btw, the casually dropping that his father went to an abusive catholic school and might have been sexually abused himself by flashing the CSA allegations against that school? that's still disgusting. that's a real person whose trauma she's flaunting to her entire audience to be "well, he thought this was okay because that's what he grew up with" in the context of talking about a fictional character on a fantasy franchise? what a complete lack of any tact or sensibility. nobody needed her to flash those images, she didn't need to share to everyone "my father could have been a victim of CSA, no wonder he thinks like that!", her point could have come across without them! none of that comes with any warning. she's again treating a very serious, very delicate topic like CSA, CSA of a real person she's currently criticizing for internalizing abuse, on your face like it was just part of any casual conversation and i'm positively revolted that more people don't have a negative reaction to that.

the section of rowing hates women is fine by itself... but it's coming from the same woman that is adamantly against any self reflection, about actually learning from marginalized people, about listening when she's done wrong by them, that it sounds like she's actually just repeating what other people have said without any real conviction.

my only conclusion is that, again, she's not bringing anything new to the table and it's not worth watching. better look for other critical videos. they won't suddenly start talking to you about the sexual abuse their parents went through as children either.

[justeliiijah]

Regarding ur point saying Rose should have taken out her genocidal war family. Rose certainly had complicated and largely negative feelings towards the diamonds but she refused to kill. It was completely against her own philosophy to take the life of another. It's why she bubbled Bismuth and it's why her sword can't shatter gems and why the war went on as long as it did. Like Steven, Rose saw the good in everybody, and she didn't want to kill her family or any of their pawns to guarantee the Earth's survival. This probably isn't a good philosophy in Real Life Warfare but pacifism and forgiveness are key tenets of SU and having the CGs on Team Murder would undermine that. And besides, Rose valued the life on Earth so much she defected for it, so I'm sure she still felt for gemkind too, even if they are a much less charming or organic form of life.

And like I said prior, the Diamonds were defeated and in a major way. They couldn't keep up with the resistance and they were losing stability in their own caste system because soldiers kept defecting. They were wasting significant amounts of resources and weapons and manpower trying to take over one measly planet, which is why they forfeited by indiscriminately corrupting both the CGs and their own soldiers and decided it would be better to just destroy the planet with the Cluster in a few thousand years, that plan Rose probably didn't know anything about. To Rose I think it is fair to say that after 5000 years of no sign of diamond return she thought the world she would leave Steven in would be safe. The Diamonds didn't even realize the Crystal Gems were still alive because they assumed they had been corrupted by the song too. If they knew they survived the Diamonds would have wiped them out on the spot. Likewise, charging into Homeworld 5000 years to try and take on 3 diamonds with an army of 4 would be suicide. There'd be no Rose to even have Steven because she'd just be resparking a long dead conflict fruitlessly.

I don't disagree that Rose's shortcomings were severe. She traumatized and abandoned Spinel, unknowingly or not, hurt Volleyball, lied to the gems, and imprisoned Bismuth for resisting her. I am sure there are more examples I am missing. Pearl (and to a lesser extent the other CGs) was absolutely destroyed after her passing because she revered Rose so much she could not see her flaws and hinged her own self worth on her loyalty to Rose, which I'm going to be honest I don't think was Rose's responsibility to deal with emotionally. But it probably doesn't speak well to Rose's ability to interact with other people lol. I understand WHY she left so many of her problems unresolved but I won't say she was right to do so.

That being said. While Rose should have tied up her loose ends, even if she was deathly afraid (and expectant) of rejection, I still don't think she was in the wrong for having Steven. Maybe it was kind of selfish to have him given her troubled past. But bringing life into the world will always bring suffering upon the child and that's just kind of how life is. Everyone faces hardships and almost everyone faces hardships as a direct or indirect consequence of their parents, even the good ones. Rose truly thought that Steven would not be shackled by her issues, or at least would not face so many at such a young age, and that the Crystal Gems could move on and grow by themselves, and she basically killed herself to try and ensure it. To Rose, having Steven was honestly a safe venture, and one that would bring somebody better and more human and more capable of being a "real person" up into the world.

This is a lot of fuckin words I'm so sorry I just don't have anybody else to talk to about this and I have a lot of opinions on Rose Quartz

TLDR; Rose was right to have Steven given her own knowledge of the Homeworld situation and while she was a coward in dealing with her own personal problems I don't think she could have predicted the trajectory of Steven's life, given he would have never learned about most of it as a kid without Homeworld's invasion in the first place

why wouldn't you just text me your opinions instead of this. coda. coda we are dating. this is one of the LONGEST POSTS ON MY BLOG CODA

[phoebebuggers]

the more i think about it, this season was honestly disappointing for me. i enjoyed watching it, and there definitely was some stuff that i did like, but overall as a fan of the books i feel kind of betrayed. i'm okay with canon non-compliance when you stay true to the characters and the feeling of the original story, but some of the things this adaptation did really rubbed me the wrong way. it felt like they were doing the absolute most for the crows to have as much screen time as possible because they know they're the fan favorites, but in turn messed with their individual arcs and just the way they were characterized a lot. i'd almost rather have had them be in the show less and kept an air of mystery (especially within the context of a possible six of crows spinoff adaptation.) there was absolutely no need to use important quotes and scenes from soc/ck this early, and as a book fan it felt glaringly out of place.

inej's character was just botched overall, not in characterization (amita did a great job) but in the acknowledgment of her trauma and her past. having nina remove her menagerie tattoo pissed me off so much, because having it be scarred and unclean is so symbolic of her trauma in the books. i also felt like they just ignored the fact that she has trauma overall, and it was never hinted at, in the scenes with kaz or ever. this is part of why her leaving ketterdam to hunt slavers holds so much weight in the books (especially with the epiphany scene she has climbing the incinerator shaft in soc) but in this scenario it felt very weakened. and don't give me any of that "saving it for later" bullshit, her trauma is not a plot point to bring up in a future season. also tante heleen dying so early and so unceremoniously didn't sit right with me, considering she's sort of meant to mirror pekka rollins for inej in a way, and the strive for revenge is so important to both of them. like FUCKKKK HER but it felt a little soon

kaz on the other hand i actually thought was fairly well done. freddy carter gave the performance of a fucking lifetime go king go (tbh all of the acting in this show was phenomenal, sucks that the writing was so shitty!! anyways.) the acknowledgment of his trauma and his haehephobia was continuous and shown really well in a lot of scenes. i saw someone say it felt like it was focused more on his survivors guilt (which is the lesser part in the books) than his haehephobia, which i wouldn't disagree with but it wasn't a glaring issue for me. the scene with the poison hallucinations, the one in the streets of shu han where inej had to comfort him, and even at the end with the "i will have you without armor" scene were all very well done. the dregs fight was way too soon and not as climactic as it needed to be but i don’t want to talk about that (im fragile)

wylan's characterization was...it was there?? it felt a little off but i can't fully articulate why?? they did a good job with showing his talent and just like value as a demolition man, with the scene where he rescued everyone in shu han and in the end with the bomb saving nikolai and the others. i'm going to use this as an opportunity to talk about wesper because they speedran them so fucking much, and i was lowkey here for it?? they weren't *my* wesper but they were entertaining?? it makes sense to have them get together in the context of the whole show, as a side plot romance to keep it engaging. they also have the least incentive to not be together i guess? like everybody else is going the fuck through it and they have their issues but i guess they have like, less stopping them? i don't love the idea that they hooked up beforehand but i can accept it tbh.

outside of wesper, jesper's characterization was pretty good, i love kit young as him sooo much omg. it might have just been me but i felt like his sarcasm and like little quips with the crows and stuff wasn't as good as it was in s1?? the hallucination scene with his mother made me cry a little even though i feel like his development with being grisha was definitely too early and rushed (as is the theme with this season apparently!) also the way his relationship with wylan happened and their interactions were fairly in character for jesper imo.

nina, no offense, where was her personality?? nina in the books is so out of pocket and iconic and i felt like we got almost none of that. they made her entire character center around matthias which was so inaccurate to who she is. like yes matthias is important to her in the books but it never felt like the sole part of her personality. we deserved more nina and inej interactions bc i love them a lot.

i honestly liked what they did with matthias even though the perks rollins crossover was kind of ???ok anyways. bro was going the fuck through it but every scene with him felt a little redundant like, we got the point. i honestly thought they were going to get him out of hellgate and i was prepared to be salty about it but i was pleasantly surprised that they kept at least one thing book accurate and in line with the set up for six of crows.

as for the plot, honestly the crows being so involved in the ending was a fanfiction crossover fever dream. i don’t even want to talk about it. i don’t have too much to say on the shadow and bone plot because i honestly don’t know those books as well and haven’t read them in over two years. overall i feel like part of the reason i’m so critical is because i know six of crows by heart and those characters are so untouchable to me, it hurts a little to see them. i’m ok with changes to s&b plot because we all know those books are not that good, but six of crows?? if it’s not broken don’t fix it guys. i loved tamar and tolya, genya was great, lowkey i loved malina even thought i like their book ending better (that might be an unpopular opinions idk.) nikolai was kind of meh, he could have been a lottttt more interesting and his personality was lacking. every scene with the darkling in it was boring. maybe that’s why they included the crows so much. did i mention i love genya??? i’ve heard people say zoya was out of character but i don’t even know what in character would be for her so i can’t comment on that. i loved the keftas and the costuming overall, i still don’t like how alina’s summoning looks (i feel like it should be more warm??), we were robbed of i am become a blade

honestly, if they do adapt six of crows i want them to start over from the beginning, ignore the show but use the show cast. but that is not going to happen and they already used so much of the dialogue and scenes from ck . so .

[phantasmechanical]

I’m trying to keep myself awake in the ER this morning so here’s some tales from my two years working this job

on my very first day where I was working without someone shadowing, I have a grown man who’s got a standard issue upper respiratory infection, he’s not even running fever. I’m trying to go through consents with him and he’s whimpering and moaning all of his answers. When I ask him if he wants to receive text messages, he sniffles and says “nooooo I just want the pain to stoooooop”

Young man literally set to get married that afternoon comes in at about nine, walks up to the window, and slowly gets down onto his hands and knees and then lays down in the fetal position under my window. Won’t reply to me when I ask him what’s wrong. His grandfather comes in and tells me he’s been vomiting. I manage to get him checked in despite the fact that he is on the floor and won’t respond to me, his grandfather gets him in a wheelchair, and when they’re in the waiting room my dude gets up out of the wheelchair to lay back down on the floor. His mom arrived after he’d been taken back to a room and she did his registration for him while actively tucking him in. The kicker? He was vomiting because he was hungover. Nothing was wrong with him. I hope his poor fiancé saw the red flags

A two year old was brought in by ambulance because she had a [pea or peanut I can’t remember] stuck up her nose. Her parents called 911. Over an item in the nose. The doctor had it out in 30 seconds.

A guy came in for pain in the genitals and peeing blood. It turns out that he had done something during intercourse to injure his dick two days prior, ignored it, jerked off the next day and it still hurt, continued to ignore it, finally came in on the third day after he started peeing blood. I overheard the doctor say that surgery couldn’t fix it and the damage was permanent . Dude broke his dick permanently. Rip guy I hope you’re making it.

Man argued with the doctor for 20 minutes that the doctor was ignoring the obvious growth on his chest. Kept pointing to the “bumps.” The bumps were his ribs showing because he was sitting at an angle to make them stick out.

Farmer dude accidentally cut off two of his fingers with a table saw. Then left them at home. He didn’t bring them to the emergency room to even see if we could put it back on.

Man who had no allergies or preexisting conditions comes in because a scorpion touched him. Not stung, touched. His diagnosis was “contact with scorpion.” He never claimed to have any pain or welts or anything he just said “you can never be too careful.” I’m sorry sir I’m going to have to disagree this time.

A guy visiting from California (it’s important) kept accusing me of trying to trick him by signing the consent forms every single patient signs. Made me turn around my computer screen to prove that I had marked his answers the way he said, as if I benefit in any way from him…. [checks notes] getting text messages when he didn’t want to. As I was finally finishing up, the nurse came in with some pain medication for him. (Like Tylenol or sth, nothing hard) He refused the medication because it’s “chemicals” and asked for some “medicinal herbs” instead. I cannot stress enough that this is a small rural hospital in small town Texas.

Not a patient, but this woman called the front desk at like 5 in the morning on Labor Day asking for a catheter stabilizer for her husband. (Basically a piece of plastic with adhesive to hold catheter tubing to someone’s leg so that gravity doesn’t tug on the Inside Part) When I told her that we can’t give out medical equipment except for patients, she informed me that he’s been a patient a few weeks prior for different issue. “Does that help?” No ma’am it sure doesn’t. “Well if we go to his primary doctor on Tuesday, will he have one to give us?” I don’t even know who your doctor is!

A couple came in to be seen for flu like symptoms. While they were waiting, they opened up a snickers bar and each ate on one end to meet in the middle like in Lady and the Tramp.

A man refused to be weighed on our scale because it measured in kilograms, and the metric system was “a communist plot.” He did not elaborate on what the intentions of this plot were. His wife sighed when he started talking as if this happens a lot.

[sadlittleratboy]

Today I proved to my boss that when I say "If you tell me to shut up and do what you want me to, I am going to do that whether I like it or not, and I can stay mad Bout it the whole time if I want. That's my problem." I fucking mean it. I'm just not going to immediately agree with something when I have a grievance.

We were having a slightly heated but very professional (I'm so proud of myself that even though I was upset I was still able to clarify that I would do as she told me to I just needed her to understand where I was coming from) disagreement, and she cut me off to say "let's stop arguing about this". Which, while phrased like an offer, is not.

I immediately shut up mid-sentence, sucked all of my frustration in, and asked for clarification. I wanted to know if her final decision was just that she didn't want me to do it, but that I was allowed to make my own decision, or if she was telling me what I was going to do and I just needed to say yes ma'am. Unfortunately it was that one.

So, I said okay, told her I would make the necessary changes over the weekend, and she was so pleased by that she literally flipped from angry to pleasant. She sounded almost happy, actually. So, while that super fucking sucks for me, at the very least I won serious brownie points with my supervisor. I also very intelligently asked myself the question of whether or not I was willing to make an enemy out of my supervisor who has openly admitted to and very clearly holds grudges, and is beloved by the company, having been around for years, and whose opinion could make or break whether or not I move up in the company enough to go above her head (something she will take as an attack) about something that will make me very uncomfortable at first, but in a couple of months I will probably be acclimated to enough that it rarely bothers me.

The answer to that question is fuck no.

I'm finally learning to not be Myself about everything lol. When I was in high school I read this old Chinese poem that has been translated, written by a woman about choosing your battles, and about how she chose them all. The only part I remember is the end, "I make my warhorse sweat". (Not important, but I actually put it together with other poems to read for an assignment in my AP literature class, and my teacher, who is also my debate coach, liked it so much she had me run it in competition.) I have been like that my whole life, and I'm so proud of myself that I was professional, and despite the fact that my voice quivered a little at the end, because I was about to angry cry, I kept it together until I could walk away and go back to my office to seethe for the last 10 minutes of my shift.

Anyway, I'm very blunt and I say exactly what I'm thinking to the point where it shocks people, I'm stubborn, and I don't tend to have a problem making it known that I disagree with something even to the point of bringing my grievances forward and arguing my case. I have always been unapologetically myself, and I am very Myself about things, and this works in my favor, because nobody I work with realizes how inauthentic I am capable of being. My supervisor is probably never going to think about this altercation again, but I am never going to forget. I hold a fucking grudge in a way that seems diagnosable. I will fucking remember this shit, as I remember every other slight against me, and it will contextualize every interaction we have moving forward.

Unfortunately office politics is a game and I don't think they realize I'm playing, but like... This is a "they are playing checkers I am playing chess" level of distrust and scrutiny that I bring to every professional relationship. I don't see anything wrong with playing your cards close to your chest and being ever so slightly manipulative when it comes to corporate work environments. I have ADHD, so sometimes I say things without thinking that get me in trouble, and I have a hard time shutting the fuck up. Pair that with the way that I don't always catch things, and people think I'm oblivious to this sort of thing.

It's a fucking superpower, because nobody is going to suspect the dipshit that can't keep their goddamn mouth shut to save their life. It's the same way that I always find the fuck up that I'm okay with admitting to, and immediately throw it out there. I have lied to supervisors faces about what happened, because I immediately admitted to doing something else wrong that would explain what happened but would get me in less trouble. Usually it's just about my reasoning for things, because people don't always understand how ADHD affects you, so I come up with a problem they'll like more that I can "solve".

And everywhere I work I have had supervisors say "Rat will be the first person to tell you that they messed up" or "Rat's going to be honest whether it's good for them or not" and like...no I won't, but I grew up in an abusive household and I learned how to stay out of trouble and manipulate people. It sounds terrible, but I don't do that in my personal life, because I don't have to. If I have a problem with somebody I'm going to tell them, and if I have enough of a problem with them we just won't talk anymore. In my personal life people don't have control over whether I succeed or not. I feel like it is at least understandable to be a little fucked up about trust issues when it comes to work, especially a cutthroat corporate environment.