#she just treats sam so nicely and vice versa

[blushingsastiel]

stop it but sam and jody are so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!! help me!!!!!!!!!! she called him first about a case that might be happening in her area like please. no one ever calls sam first. they always call dean. literally warmed my heart, and it was heavily implied they call and check up and talk about what's going on in their lives like. best friends for ever jody + sam <3.

[urimaginespimp]

A Half-naked Nurse and Wrong Ideas.

Bucky x Reader with fever.

Thank you @daredarling for the “you’ve gotten sick and Bucky takes care of you” idea.

——–

You should’ve known better than to race Sam under a thunderstorm last night. Waking up the next morning, you had a massive headache, your muscles felt sore, and you were shivering.

“Miss Y/N, Mr. Barnes says you’re half an hour late in training.” FRIDAY’s voice spoke, making you groan and bring your comforters above you.

“Tell him to fuck off.” you muffled under the sheets.

Barnes… He has been nothing but a pain in the ass to you. To this day, you don’t know what you’ve done for him to dislike you this much. And as if his snarky comments and glares thrown your way wasn’t enough, Steve actually paired you both for missions and trainings.

If he wasn’t so handsome you would’ve cut him already. If Steve allowed you.

Loud bangs hit your door outside. “Y/L/N you’re already 30 minutes late! That’s 5 laps extra for you!” You could hear the irritation lacing his voice.

Maybe if you ignore him long enough, the pest would go away.

“I know you’re in there!” He followed up after you ignored him.

Sighing in annoyance, you got up, with the blankets still wrapped around you, and weakly waddled your way to your door, not bothering to open up your curtains. Opening the door, A frowning Bucky was looking down on you. If you weren’t feeling so shitty, you would’ve snickered at his expression.

“Barnes why are you so obsessed with me?” your cracked voice barely managed to finish asking.

He was observing you from head to toe, noting how pale you are, and shivering under a huge comforter despite that your AC was off.

“You’re stupid.” That was the first thing that came out of his mouth.

“Well, you’re not that sma-”

“Will you shut up and go back to bed? You look like you’re about to drop dead any second now.” He interrupted you, his face still stern with no emotion.

Rolling your eyes, you turned back and weakly made your way back over to bed, pausing to groan as you remembered you forgot to close the door.

“If you’re still there, could you please close the door.” it almost pained you to even be so polite to him but you blame it to being sick.

Finally managing to lie back down, you stared up the ceiling when you heard the door finally shut gently. Sighing, you were about to let sleep take over you when something caught the corner of your eye.

Bucky was by the closed door, taking his shirt off over his head. You let out a shriek. “What the fuck are you doing in my room?!”

“You’re sick.” he replied nonchalantly, while kicking off his shoes, leaving him in his sweatpants and socks.

“And taking off your clothes is supposed to make me feel better?!” you were trying to support yourself with your elbow, facing his way. “And I meant that you close the door before leaving.”

“I don’t want to die of heat while taking care of you.” he replied in a duh tone before entering your bathroom to fetch some warm water in a basin.

You were still trying to process what he was getting at when he finally went back out, now basin with steaming water in hand.

“You got a clean towelette I can use?” has asked as he placed the basin on the foot of your bed.

“Yeah, it’s by the third dra- what the hell are you doing again?” you caught yourself as he was opening your drawers. “Because if you’re trying to kill me, doing it while I’m defenseless is just beneath you.”

“Didn’t think your IQ could get any lower but you’re sick so I’ll let this pass.” He rolled his eyes before soaking the cloth on the water. “I’m nursing you. Now lay flat and still so the cloth won’t fall off that forehead of yours.” he instructed, again sounding so casual.

You followed his orders before realizing that this whole ordeal was still very weird. “I’m sorry, I still don’t get why you’re doing this.”

He went by your head and placed the cloth on your forehead, making you sigh at the warmth it brought your chilling form. “Steve will have my head if he finds out I knew you’re sick and let you die.”

You stared at him deadpan.

“And partners are supposed to be taking care of each other.” he muttered, making the side of your mouth twitch.

“If you tell anyone I said that I’ll kill you.” he lightly threatened when he noticed your mouth twitch.

“Fair enough. And I should probably tell you that I’m prone to get mentally confused when I have fevers which is a normal symptom, but just letting you know in case I start saying something nice.” you chuckled.

He went over your mini fridge and opened a bottle of water to drink.

You look at him, noticing that he was starting to sweat a lot from the heat. His skin was glistening making you mentally kick yourself from staring.

“You got underwear?” you found yourself asking, making him choke on his drink.

“What?”

“I-I’m just saying i-if you’re that hot, you can just take off your sweatpants and I won’t mind.”

“You’re saying I’m hot?” he chuckled, having fun twisting your words, making you flush. “Hey, color’s back on your face. Maybe I should get you all flustered more.” he teased further.

“Shut up Barnes, I meant that the room’s too hot for you because the AC is off. You’re sweating like a pig.”

“Save the excuses, Y/N. You won’t mind if I’ll just be in my boxers?” he smirked at you as he took his socks off and started working on untying the strings of his sweats.

“Puh-lease, Barnes, it may come as a shock to you, but I’ve seen enough men in boxers. You’re not that…”

You trailed off what you were going to say when you noticed that this was a different kind of boxers. Why were they so tight?

You thought he meant boxer shorts, not boxer briefs. Dammit.

“I’m not that…?” He asked.

“I forgot. Fever brain.” You shrugged, diverting your eyes away from him. “Anyway, why are you so nice to me? You hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.” He contradicts, placing his hands on his hips.

“Uh, yeah you do.” you paused to let out a cough. “You always make fun of me or provoke me in front of everyone else.”

“And how do I treat you when we’re alone, especially in missions?” he raised his brows at you, expecting that you’ll put two and two together.

“A lot nicer actually.” You muttered.

“Look, I’m sorry. It’s just that the team keeps insisting I have a crush on you.” he scratched the back of his head.

“That’s ridiculous. Why would they even think that?” you chuckled.

“It’s Sam’s fault. He tricked me.”

“What?”

“He was being all hypothetical, saying what if I was only allowed to date someone from the team and who would I choose. And I uh… may have said I’d choose you. And everyone else heard.” He muttered the last part, embarrassed.

It was your turn to smirk at him. “And why me?”

“Stop that. You look like a smirking corpse.” he snapped at you defensively and cleared his throat. “It’s just that you were actually really nice to me when we met. Didn’t feel like you were masking apprehensiveness like everybody did when I first got here.”

“Sounds like you have a crush on me.” you had the courage to tease him, seeing how flustered he got from telling the story.

“This is not how you treat your nurse, Y/N.”

“Yeah, a nurse in his underwear. Very ethical. And I’m not your supervisor, but I think brooding is not advisable.”

“And now as your nurse, I would advise you to quit talking and get some sleep.”  he playfully glared at you. “I’ll be by the chair to constantly check on your temperature and replace the cloth on your forehead.”

“I really appreciate what you’re doing, Barnes. I’m starting to think the team’s right.”

“Ma’am flirting with patients and vice versa is frowned upon. Now sleep.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

——–

While you were finally snoozing for over an hour, gentle knocks were heard on your door.

Standing up from his chair, Bucky quickly made his way over the door to prevent more knocks from disturbing your sleep, forgetting that he was still only in his boxer briefs.

Opening it slowly, he was met with three pairs of wide eyes belonging to Steve, Sam, and Nat.

“Hey you guys, could you keep it down? Y/N is getting some rest.”

“Uhuh… I bet she needs it.” Sam replied slowly, still wide-eyed, noting how Bucky’s slightly sweaty.

“So… when did this happen?” It was Steve’s turn to speak up.

“Oh, just this morning. She was running late and I came here with the intention of punishing her for it but I ended up taking care of her.” He explained in a low voice, still oblivious to how their teammates were getting a totally different idea.

“Woah.” Nat muttered under her breath.

“Yeah, I guess her muscles are all sore because she was moving so weakly, and her voice is all hoarse now when she talks, and -”

“Look we’re happy for you, but TMI, Buck! TMI.” Steve cut him off and the three of them scrambled away from your room, with Sam muttering he didn’t need the unwelcomed visuals, and Nat screaming for Wanda.

Now left alone and confused by the doorway, he was trying to figure out why they reacted that way when it finally clicked.

“Fuck.” he whisper-yelled, knowing that the teasing was about to get worse.

——–

Final Part

Permanent tag list: @lizzarooni

Marvel Masterlist

[forever-rogue]

Oblivious

A/N | This is just a little sweet fluff with Buckaroo. It’s also a late little happy birthday for @falcor-thee-luck-dragon! I hope you (and everyone else) enjoys!

Summary | You’d think Bucky wouldn’t be so oblivious but...he was. 

Pairing | Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 3.9k

Warnings | language

Masterlists | Bucky, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

James Buchanan Barnes aka Bucky Barnes was a man of many talents and had a vast knowledge of a variety of things. Sometimes, however, things were so obvious and clear that they went right over his head. You could hit him in the face with a 2x4 and he wouldn’t know what happened oblivious. Like the fact that you, his girlfriend of almost a year, had the strange and peculiar ability to communicate with animals. You’d never hid it, nor explicitly told him about it, thinking it would be funny to see how long it would take him to catch on. 330 days (and counting) in and he hadn’t.

Bucky grabbed his phone, scrolling through his social media feeds quickly before pulling up Spotify and turning to his secret indulgence playlist - classical Italian Opera. Yeah. It was just a thing he had happened to really like for no particular reason. The only other living souls in his apartment with him were Archie, your black and white speckled mutt and Alpine, Bucky’s snow white cat. You were currently out of town for work and had asked Bucky if he minded watching Archie, to which he had of course said yes. It was no secret that Archie loved Bucky almost as much as you and vice versa - he was the goodest boy as Bucky had proclaimed. Plus, the cat and dog got along like they were old best friends. 

Trailing into the bathroom, he stripped off his t-shirt and pajama pants as Archie laid on the bed and offered him a dismissal look. Alpine was tucked into his side as she slept soundly, paying no attention to her owner. 

As he turned on the shower and let the water warm up, he finished stripping off his clothes before deciding to sing along with his music as best as he could. Bucky didn’t speak Italian. It showed. But he was passionate about giving it all as he got ready to take on the day. Archie groaned as Bucky hit a particularly high note, burying his face under the soft duvet. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“You ever gonna ask her the question?” Sam raised an eyebrow at Bucky as the two men walked alongside the creek. Bucky had decided that ice cream and a walk for Archie were called for, so he’d taken advantage of the nice weather and gone outside. Missing your company, despite you only having been gone for a few days, he’d called up Sam and convinced him to meet up. Not that it took much convincing; the men were as thick as thieves, no matter how much they denied it. Co-workers, partners - best friends. 

“Umm,” Bucky’s eyes widened as he almost choked on his ice cream, awkwardly coughing to cover up his nerves. Sam just snickered in response as he realized he already had his answer. After a moment he slowly nodded, “I have the ring...it’s been sitting in the sock drawer.”

“Sock drawer,” Sam snorted and shook his head as a flush of red colored Bucky’s neck and ears, “classic. When are you going to do it?”

“I don’t know,” Bucky sighed as he broke off a piece of waffle cone and handed it to Archie, who had been listening in very intently, “I want to...but what if it’s too soon. We technically don’t even live together yet-”

“Doesn’t she like to spend her time at yours? She’s practically moved in...most of the stuff at your place is hers anyway,” Sam reminded him as Bucky made a small, noncommittal sound. It was true - when you’d first met Bucky his place had been minimal and bare. Now, with your time and touch, it felt like a home; a home you had lovingly built with him. Sam bumped Bucky’s shoulder with his, “just get it all done in one swoop. She’ll say yes.”

Archie made a small sound, agreeing with Sam as he rubbed his snout against Bucky’s thigh. He visibly relaxed as he nodded, hoping that this would be enough to psych him up, “I’ll think about it-”

“No thinking about it,” Sam tutted gently, “you’re going to do it. You’ve been a fool - a straight up head over heels in love fool - since you’ve met her. You’re going to ask.”

“Sam…”

“How long have you had the ring?”

“Sam.”

“Bucky.”

“A few weeks after we started dating,” Bucky cast his glance at the ground as warmth flushed up in his cheeks. He’d expected Sam to burst out in laughter, but luckily the other man said nothing, but a smile stretched across his features, “it seems so silly but you know..I just felt like I knew.”

“Sometimes you do,” Sam agreed, putting his arm around his shoulder and pulling him for a quick hug, “you just gotta do it, Buck. She won’t say no.”

Archie barked in response, looking between the two men, wagging his tail excitedly. Sam offered him a few pets before nodding in response.

“She comes home in a few days,” he couldn’t wait to pick you up from the airport and have you jump into his arms while he finally got to hold you again, “I’ve got until then to pluck up the courage.”

“Just don’t lay it on her right away…” Sam snorted as he picked Bucky running up to you immediately pouring his heart out to you. Not a good idea, “give her a moment to be calm and breath.”

“Shut up,” Bucky huffed as he finished the rest of his ice cream, “I’ve got this!”

“We’re all counting on that!”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Bucky set the empty popcorn bowl back on the coffee table as he tried not to sniffle too loudly. His eyes were misty and burning with unshed tears as he watched whatever cheesy romance he had randomly selected. He pulled the soft blanket he was curled up in higher, savoring the fact that it still managed to have a faint bit of your smell on it. Alpine was curled up on the back of the couch, snoozing away while Archie was laying next to him, his head resting on Bucky’s thigh. He was on and off sleeping, but had peeped open an eye when he first heard Bucky sniffle. 

“They’re in love,” he whispered gently, unsure if he was speaking to himself or talking to his furry companions. He was scratching Archie’s ears as he watched the scenes play out on the screen, “but they can’t be together. Their families would never allow it.”

Archie huffed lightly as he burrowed further into Bucky’s touch. It was the first time he’d seen the man get so emotional over the movie. Bucky had feelings, plenty of them, of course, but there was something about the movie he’d picked, combined with how much he was missing you that caused him to just lose it. It was like the dam had burst and his emotions were out of control.

He sat back and watched the rest of the movie in silence, a few tears running down his cheeks as he watched the love story play out. By the end of the movie, Archie was fully in his lap and Alpine was resting on his chest, “he left everything behind for her, so they could start a new life together far away. They really were next to meant to be together. It’s beautiful.”

The furry little ones were absolutely  going to tell you about this. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Archie yawned and slowly stretched before hopping down from the couch and heading towards Bucky’s bedroom. He tried to nose the door open as he learned to do, but was stopped when he found that it was closed all the way. His head tilted in curiosity and whined softly as he tried to see if Bucky was awake so he would let him in. 

As soon as he did, the dog regretted it. All he could hear coming from inside was the soft sounds coming from Bucky. Soft moans and sounds and gentle whispers of your name. His eyes widened as the dog took off down the hall and ran back into the living room, flopping down on his dog bed and cuddling up to Alpine as he tried to empty his mind. All the poor dog had wanted to do was to sleep in the big soft bed - not be scarred for life. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Bucky!” as soon as you’d gotten cleared and walked through arrivals and gotten your single bag, you’d kept your eyes peeled for Bucky. It didn’t take long to find him, standing near the back, blue eyes scanning the arrivals with a hopeful little smile on his face. You almost dropped your bag as you ran over to him. As soon as you were in arm’s reach, you dropped everything to the ground, and Bucky effortlessly scooped you up in his arms. You threw your arms around his neck as he held you in a tight embrace, “James. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” he sighed in content, happy to have you in his arms once again. Everything about you set his soul on fire, as he held onto you as tightly as possible. After a moment, he slowly set you back down, but not before peppering your face in gentle kisses, “you’re so beautiful.”

“Bucky,” you reached up and gently touched his cheek, “you’re too much. I’m so glad to be home.”

“Not quite yet.”

“Sure I am,” you insisted quietly, “I’m here with you. You’re my home, Bucky.”

The small velvet box was practically burning a hole in his pocket as you looked at him like he was everything - your whole world (he was). Unable to form a proper sentence, he  grabbed your face and pulled you close to him, crashing his lips onto yours, kissing you like you weren’t in the middle of a crowded airport. He could feel you smiling against his lips, reluctantly breaking apart from you only once you were both breathless. 

“What was that for?” you asked shyly, feeling your face flush with warmth as he picked up your bags for you. You were watching him with pure adoration as he reached for your hand and laced your fingers together. 

“Nothing,” he shrugged softly, “jus’ missed you is all, pretty girl.”

“I missed you too, Bucky,” you promised, “I love you.”

“I love you more than all the moon and stars, pretty girl.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“What?” you asked as Archie came into the kitchen and sat down, watching you intently as you finished up the cookies you had been working. Bucky was busy with Sam that afternoon, so you’d decided to make a little sweet treat for both of you. You’d been home for a few days and fallen into an easy routine, having opted to stay with Bucky for the time being rather than going back to your own place, “you’ve got something to say, I can tell.”

Just missed you. I like when you’re home, you and Bucky. And Alpine. 

“I missed you too, buddy,” you promised, leaning over to his head a gentle pet, “did you have fun while I was gone?”

Yes. Bucky takes good care of me. I like Alpine too. She’s nice.

“I happen to like them a lot too,” you grinned at your friend, “I’m glad you do too. I think...I really love him, Archie. I think, no, I know - he’s the one.”

He thinks so too. He told Sam you’re the one - and us too. 

“Really?” you almost dropped the cookies you were plating up in surprise as you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from squealing in excitement, “you’re not messing with me, are you?”

It’s true. He’s got...well, you’ll see. He likes romance movies apparently. And singing opera.

“Oh?”

He was watching a movie. He ate two bowls of popcorn and cried. He let me and Alpine sit on him though so it was okay. He sings opera when he showers in the morning. He’s not good but he tries.

“Archie! Don’t be a meanie,” you chuckled as you tried to picture the scene. It would have been hilarious to see. You’d always known Bucky had a soft side, you just didn’t know how soft, “but I will remember that and use it to my advantage when I want to watch a cheesy movie.”

Please do. He gives good pets when he’s in that mood. He always gives good pets.

“He’s a good man,” you grinned as you reached over the counter for a good treat that you easily tossed to him, “I really love him.”

He really loves you. One night I...never mind.

“No, no,” you shook your head as you waggled another treat at him, “out with it! Or I’ll hide all of your treats!”

Fine. But you didn’t hear it from me - I wanted to sleep in the big bed one night and the door was closed and I heard him. He was...saying your name.

Your brows narrowed in confusion for a moment as you pulled another treat out and twirled it in your fingers for a moment. Then you hit you, what he had meant, “oh. Oh. That is...good to know, I suppose.”

Not for me. I just wanted to sleep, not...hear that.

“Sorry buddy,” you snorted as you handed him another treat, “that will stay between us. Besides...he still doesn’t know we can communicate. I wonder if he’ll ever put two and two together?”

You could just tell him.

“But where’s the fun in that?” you teased as the door opened and Bucky walked in, a giant grin on his face. You looked at Archie and shot him a wink before turning to Bucky, “hello, my love. You’re just in time! Cookies are done and cooled!”

“Oh, my sweet girl,” Bucky came over and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips before petting Archie, “I love you. Is someone here? I could have sworn you were talking to someone…”

“Nope,” you (half) lied, covering up with a brilliant smile, “just me and the dog and cat.”

“Oh,” he shrugged, thinking it was just his imagination, “what’s all this? Cookies -  whatever for?”

“Just because I love you,” you grinned as Archie groaned and laid down, “both of you!”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You stopped for a moment to catch your breath as you reached one of the peaks of the small mountain you and Bucky were hiking. It was a glorious day so you’d decided there was no better plan than to get out and enjoy nature. He had no problem at any point, even offering to piggy back you when you’d grown tired; you’d just defiantly stuck your tongue out at the super soldier and carried on. 

“This view is absolutely breathtaking,” you looked over the small cliff, admiring the tranquil expanse of the woods in front of you. Bucky was at your side, his eyes on you the entire time.

“Yeah,” he agreed with a grin, “it’s pretty amazin’.”

“Bucky,” you turned around and rolled your eyes at him as he pulled you in for a kiss, causing you to break into a fit of giggles, “I’m all gross and sweaty!”

“Don’t care,” he insisted as his hands found purchase on your waist and pulled you closer against him, his lips already ghosting over yours, “jus’ want you, baby.”

“Bucky,” his name was soft on your lips, but before anything else could happen, you were stopped by a small, almost nervous little voice from up above. 

Umm, hi! I don’t want to interrupt but…

You pulled back from Bucky for a moment before looking at the tree, where you found a small squirrel sitting on a branch and watching you both. Bucky was surprised for a moment but calmed when you gave his shoulder a squeeze and gently moved past him and towards your new friend.

“Hi,” you smiled at her and offered a smile, picking up an acorn and handing it over to her, “is everything alright?”

Oh yes. I just wanted to let you know there’s a big group of people coming. If you want some privacy you should go somewhere more secluded! They’re pretty loud, I don’t like big groups.

“Oh!” you giggled as you could only imagine the awkward scenario if you’d been caught, “thanks for the heads up! We’ll definitely get out of here. I’m sorry you have to deal with all the noise.”

It’s okay. I’m going back to my nest now! If you go down the hill, there’s a more private path that leads back down the mountain. There’s signs if you need them.

“Why thank you,” you grinned as you reached up and she let you pet her, “you’ve been very helpful. Maybe one day we’ll see each other again.“

No problem. I hope so too! Thank you for the acorn!

“Anytime,” you promised as she scurried away with her new treasure. You shook your head in amusement as you turned back around to Bucky, to find him watching you with wide eyes. He wasn’t quite sure what had just happened, almost wondering if he was hallucinating. Had you just gone mad and tried to speak to a squirrel? You laughed lightly at the shocked look on his features,  “oh.”

“What was...what was that?” he asked as you rejoined him and pressed a kiss to his cheek. His eyes were still scanning the branch the small squirrel had just occupied. 

“She was just warning us that there’s a group of hikers coming our way and we should find someplace more private,” you said as if it was no big deal. It didn’t help Bucky in the slightest.

“She? A warning...how….That was a squirrel!”

“I was wondering if you’d ever put two and two together,” you laughed, almost doubling over in laughter, “I...Bucky, I don’t know how or why but I can communicate with animals.”

“You can….how long?!”

“Ever since I’ve been a child?” you held up your hands in earnest, “its something I’ve always been able to do. I don’t advertise it, obviously because people generally think I’m crazy, but I would think you of all people understand. It’s just been...fun to wait and see if you’d ever figure it out.”

“All those times…” he ran a hand over his face in exasperation and disbelief as you watched him in amusement. He was a brilliant, smart man but sometimes he was so oblivious. You couldn’t love him anymore if you tried, “it wasn’t just...a one sided conversation. It all makes sense now. Wow, that’s amazing! What a wonderful thing to possess.”

“I’ve always liked it,” you agreed, “it’s different, you know? But special in its own way.”

“Wait…” he mused for a moment, “so all those times...oh. H-how much have Archie and Alpine told you? Have they always talked to you?”

“Yup,” you crossed your arms over your chest, as you watched his neck and ears turn red, “those two in particular are very animated and over the top. They’re the worst little gossip duo. Almost like you and Sammy.”

“Of course they are,” he groaned as you reached for his hand and pulled him towards. He gave you a sheepish grin as you pressed a light kiss to his knuckles, “they told you about the movie, huh?”

“Archie,” you confirmed, “but he did say you gave him the best pets.”

“Did he tell about...oh no,” this time his whole face was a brilliant crimson, “I-I…”

“Oh stop,” you teased, “I’m flattered and honored. It’s not like I don’t do the same when I’m not with you.”

“Really?” he perked up with pride as you just nodded in amusement, “well then. Wait - did he tell you about Sam?”

“He said you went on a walk with him but that was it,” you shrugged, “nothing really. I do know that he loves you and Alpine very much. And so do I, obviously.”

“Okay,” he relaxed slightly as you took his hand and started to lead him towards the more secluded path your little squirrel had told you about. The box in his pocket was once again burning a hole, “good.”

“Everything okay, Bub?” you asked as he just nodded, lips pursed as he fell into step behind you. Something was definitely off, but you weren’t going to push him on it. If anything, you knew he’d come around and speak his mind about what was going on. He usually always did. 

A silence, one neither tense nor uncomfortable, fell over the two of you as you walked down the quiet trail. It was beautiful - lush greenery and newly bloomed plants everywhere. At one point you stopped and pulled out your phone to take a few pictures of the natural beauty. Bucky had been so lost in his own thoughts, his heart practically pounding in his chest and consuming every part of him that he almost bowled into you and knocked you over. 

“James!” it was somewhere between a groan and laugh as he caught you in his arms in order to keep you from tumbling into a bunch of bushes. You were face to face with Bucky, looking at him intently as he steadied you,  “alright, something’s up. Come on - out with it. You know you can tell me anything.”

“I umm...marry me?” all the speeches he had gone over and planned wet out the window as he just stared at you with nervous eyes. You’d been so taken aback by his sudden question that you took a step back and gave him a curious expression. Bucky’s stomach was in absolute knots as he wondered if he’d just fucked everything up.

“W-what?” your voice was a small squeak, as you tried to see if he was just pulling your leg. But his gaze never wavered, “what did you just ask me?”

“I…” he stopped over a moment before reaching into his pocket with trembling hands and pulling out a small box. Your eyes widened in response as you realized that was not joking at all, further evidenced when he popped it open and showed you the ring inside. Your mouth dropped open when it all came together, “I thought the whole proposal would go a lot differently than this but umm...yeah. Will you marry me? That’s what I’m trying to ask...I’m glad Archie hadn’t spoiled that for you.”

“No,” you shook your head as you already felt tears pricking at your eyes, “he definitely didn’t. I thought he might have been holding something back, but I...I had no idea.”

“I know it hasn’t even been a year yet, but I feel like when you know someone 's the one..you know,” he admitted softly, “and I know you’re the one. The one I want to spend the rest of my life with, the one I want to call my wife...my everything.”

“James,” you looked between him and the ring a few more times before swallowing the lump in your throat, “gods, I am so in love with you. There was never a doubt in my mind that it was meant to be you. Yes, of course yes.”

“Really?!”

“Of course,” you beamed at him, “I love you, Bucky. You’re my forever.”

“Forever,” he breathed softly, “I like the sound of that.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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[irish-urn]

LWD: “Grade Point Average”

Okay, so I keep trying to give Emily the benefit of the doubt, and I know as a teenager, she would be VERY concerned about her reputation; but she’s far more concerned about her reputation (especially seeing how Casey hangs around her) than Casey’s problems, and that... bugs me.

EMILY. “It is. ...not hard at all!” EMILY. Gosh, I hope you improve. I am having vivid flashbacks to the way the girls in my MIDDLE SCHOOL treated me. We parted ways in high school; I was much happier and better off; BUT OH MY GOSH, EMILY. YOU ARE NOT SUPPORTIVE AT ALL. IT’S LIP-SERVICE; someone get her off my screen before I scream.

(I know, I know: she’s 15 and everything is about fitting in and being cool or at least flying under the radar, but come ON.)

“You speak English, don’t you?” / “Very goodly.” DEREK YOU ARE SO WITTY, I LOVE YOUR SMART MOUTH.

George’s description of Derek failing Grade One just sounds like a young boy with ADHD, honestly. And, I mean, I think it’s semi-confirmed canon that Derek’s birthday is in the late fall, right? (I HC it in early November) which means he really should haven’t started school until he was almost 6 anyways... Like. I know people whose birthdays are in September/October who didn’t start school for another year, because you are developing so so fast at that point in your life that a couple of months makes for a WORLD of difference.

Honestly, they shouldn’t make fun. I know it’s 2005 and such, but... 6 year old Derek sounds like an energetic, clever child with ADHD who is younger than everyone else in his class.

The more I see of George, the more I understand Derek.

Lizzie and Casey’s talk about being lame to change yourself, and how being a teenager is complicated is REAL TALK. Poor girls.

So, Nora is more aware than George that they are failing as parents — although she doesn’t word it that way. I feel like George thinks that as long as his kids are alive, healthy, and functioning, he’s done a good job as a parents, which... Yikes.

PAUL. I ADORE YOU.

Also: Casey is an overachiever even when it comes to underachieving. You ridiculous girl; what a nutcase (said with extreme fondness).

Them working together is going to be a disaster. I am super looking forward to it (also, also: Sam knows Derek way too well and it made me grin like a maniac.)

MARTI PURPOSELY MESSING UP THE ANIMAL SOUNDS IS THE BEST PRANK DEREK HAS EVER PULLED AND HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW IT.

Girly-girl Case suits her so much better than slacker-chic (and vice versa for Derek. I love it).

Derek, you pretend to be so cool and to not care about anything, but you’re so human with so many emotions. You are freaking out — and also rather betrayed by Casey using your slacker-tendencies to her advantage... And yet, not fighting her on this, because you know you made your own bed. So now... You harass Edwin. Poor, innocent Edwin.

THEY’RE DOING A PROJECT ON PERCY AND MARY SHELLEY???? THE MARRIED ROMANTIC WRITERS. DUDE. DUUUUUUUUDE.

(hey, didja know that Percy and Mary first did it on her mother’s gravesite? That’s pretty insane, huh. And that they ran away to France and then Switzerland together, all the while he was married to another woman? Their lives were insane.)

GEORGE. GEORGE. When your son comes to you for help — because that’s what Derek was DOING when he brought up his English class!!! — you don’t tell him that failure isn’t an option, YOU HELP HIM. HE NEEDS HELP. HELP HIM.

I HAVE EMOTIONS.

HE DEFENDED HER. THOSE JERKS WERE GONNA CALL HER A GRUB, AND DEREK SHUT THEM DOWN.

I mean, I know, I KNOW that Casey is the hero here, I know that she’s the one who saved Derek, but that’s not OOC for her. I think she wants to make nice with Derek, but Derek won’t let her. But Derek needs a 90, is honest with her, and she goes to work as a grub; and Derek could have just been quiet and smug and relieved; AND HE SPOKE UP AND SHUT THEM DOWN AND I’M SO PROUD OF HIM. I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS RIGHT NOW.

“Derek’s wrong about a lot of things.” ...you know, George. When I was in my fifth year of university, I was writing a thesis for my English degree. I had a lot of trouble with the passive tense; and my professor/supervisor snapped at me, “How can you be in your fifth year of English and not know what the passive tense is?”

And I said, in one of the bravest moments of my life, “If I don’t understand the passive tense after all this time, that’s your failing as a teacher, not mine as a student.”

She shut up. She sat back. She took five minutes to teach me the passive tense; I understand it perfectly by the time her explanation was complete (no one had ever broken it down for me; they just assumed I knew it). I took back my draft, re-did it in the active tense, and the paper got accepted with just a couple more tweaks.

And hearing George say that; say, “Derek’s wrong about a lot of things.” ...George. If Derek is wrong about a lot of things, that’s your failure as a parent, not his as a son.

[djarinsidebitch]

omg requests are open!!! can i get something about meeting the family, with Sam Wilson??

I am so happy that I got some sam requests- I love this man more than life itself. I wasn’t sure what family you were referring to so I went with Sam to meet your family. If this isn't what you wanted please let me know and I can fix it!!

Not beta’d we die like men here

Word count: 1.4k

“Shouldn’t I be the one nervous baby bird” Sam jokes reaching over to put a hand on your leg that has been bouncing the entire drive from the compound to your family’s home.

“ha ha very funny Sam” you quip back then sigh “ I don’t know- i haven’t seen them in years and I am just scared- what if they freak out or its another round of ‘look at your sister she has a safe and stable job why do you have to be out there fighting'' You ramble nervously and Sam looks at you with the definition of heart eyes wrapping his sturdy arms around you pulling you into a hug- abet and uncomfortable one because of the center console but it calms you down. Sam seemed to have that effect, whenever you were stressed or upset just being around him calmed you and vice versa if he had a bad mission you would be there to comfort him

“You will be fine, and if they start that we will just leave and go see a movie or dismantle the patriarchy, we have time to decide” he pulls back and turns the car off looking over to you once more, “You can do this- you are a badass avenger, and my badass fiance “ he brings your hand up to his lips giving a soft kiss upon them. You nod a sense of false confidence filling you and the two of you get out of the car. Sam meets out halfway around the front of the car putting an arm around your shoulders as the two of you look ahead at the front of your family’s home, it wasn’t the one you grew up in but the one they moved into after you graduated from the shield academy and was place in the triskelion to be nearby.

Standing at the door you took one more deep breath before knocking on the door. It was only a few seconds before the door opened to show your father he was a kind man with eyes that just radiated warmth and they widened when he realized it was you, he said your nickname with a happy chuckle bringing you into a hug

“My baby” he murmurs and you smile pulling away moving to introduce Sam

“Pa’ this is Sam-My fiance; Sam this is my Dad” You introduce the two and Sam holds out his hand but your dad just sighs and pulls him into a hug “I am a hugger Sam” this makes Sam laugh and pat your dad on the back  before pulling away. Your father invited the two of you in and everyone had already shown up. It wasn't any holiday but your mother had decided she hadn’t seen all of her children in a long time so she set up this dinner. It was nice to see everyone you hadn’t seen your younger sister or brother in years; your sister was married and just had a little boy while your brother’s wife was expecting.

Sam intertwined his hand with yours as they walk into the living room where everyone except you mother, who was in the kitchen, Once they noticed you were here both of your siblings stood up to give you a hug you returned the hug and pulled back to allow Sam to introduce himself but we was quickly cut off by your nerd of a brother going “You’re the Falcon'' in a giddy voice excited to meet one of his favorite avengers. You rolled your eyes as Sam laughed “Yeah man, what are you a fan” he jokes but your brother just nods and starts asking him a bunch of nerdy questions while your sister pulls you over to the couch where her husband and newborn was.

“So, About your no dating coworkers policy” She rides and makes you roll your eyes

“That is different-”

“How so-”

“Because he’s-”

“Crazy stupid hot-” That earned a slap on the arm from you and a look of amusement from your sisters husband  “What- I’m not wrong.”

“No you are not- but that isn’t the reason,” You look over to where Sam stood gladly dealing with your younger brother's questions about his suit and falcon duties. He looked perfect the jacket he wore stretched over her arms that where calmly crossed over his chest making a few jokes that made your brother laugh “Well one I met him before we were coworkers, and he wouldn’t let me say no when he asked me out” you joked and finally your mother left the kitchen to let everyone know that food was ready, you and your mother had an ‘interesting’ relationship. She wasn’t fond of you agreeing to go to the shield specialist academy she said it was because she wanted you safe but you knew it was because she didn't think you had the grit to survive it- but you did and even after that she always doubted you; your skills, your decisions, she was the reason you were so nervous no matter how good you where it was never enough. 

Sitting around the table you sat next to Sam and made easy conversation with everyone chuckling about some joke that Sam made about a mission the two of you and Bucky went on while feeling your mothers eyes glaring into the side of your head, she cleared her throat bringing attention to herself 

“So when were you going to tell us about you boyfriend” she says snidely in the tone that made you want to punch something, you clench your jaw looking over at her 

“Fiance” you correct your thumb subconsciously coming up to run across the engagement ring that sat on your left ring finger, “-and that was the reason we came but you were doing something when we arrived and i didn’t want to bother you” you say back with a sickly sweet tone sam quirked an eyebrow up he knew that you had talked about your mom being difficult but he did not expect that right off the bat.

Your mother only hummed disapprovingly taking a sip of her drink then sighed “I don’t know what i expected from you- You probably weren’t going to tell us until after the wedding. It's like you don’t even want to be a part of the family- at least if I just said I only had one daughter then I would stop having to be embarrassed.” Everyone looked over at your mother's eyes wide.

That one hurt, you were used to her complaints but that one actually hurt, you know you missed birthdays and events but you were either on missions or celebrating with the rest of the avengers but you tried you really did. before you could say anything sam stands up for you “Hold the phone- you think that your daughter is an embarrassment, the same daughter that puts her life on the line day in and day out to keep you and everyone else safe, if this is how she is treated every time no wonder she doesn’t want to come back  here I have only know your daughter for a few years but it seems i know her more than you do, Now we are going back to Our family” he stands grabbing onto your hand “We’ll send you the rsvp for the wedding” he says simply walking out with your hands still intertwined. He smirks at the astonished look on your mother’s face and the large smiles on your siblings faces.

Walking down to the car you looked lovingly up at Sam, “Thank you Sam-” 

He looks over to you, moving to pull you into another hug “No one can say anything bad about my little bird without me protecting her,” he says with a smile. 

The two of you get to the car and when you shut the door you look over at him as he says “I know what we should do-”

“What is that-” you say intrigued, clipping your seat belt in.

“Dismantle the patriarchy and get ice Cream” he says with a suave tone and you smile leaning over the console again placing a soft kiss on his lips pulling back to softly say against his lips “I think that is an amazing idea love” 

“Of course it is, I thought of it” he smirks “I love you” he replies kissing you once more

“I Love you too Mr. Wilson” 

“Oh don’t i know it future Mrs. Wilson” He smirks pulling the car away from where it was parked resting a hand on your thigh as you two drive away.

[nymph1e]

Okay fuck it, I gotta give in, I gotta watch through Supernatural. AFAIK, it's all on Netflix; at least I saw it on there in passing. Going into this, is there anything I should be aware of? Are there any episodes I should skip, any seasons? Should I start from season 4? I know the basic plot and concept, and I know it's very monster-of-the-week. But aside from me highkey shipping Destiel already, that's all.

Well my first piece of advice would be

but uh, let’s fucking ~GO~

If you’re actually jumping into this hellhole (why why why) don’t start at season 4. It’s tempting, but seasons 1-3 are some of the best shit in the whole show, also having context for Sam and Dean’s characters, and their relationship with the supernatural up to season 4 really highlights how fucking wild the introduction of angels is in the show. it’s basically a complete paradigm shift.

I would recommend you watch seasons 1-5 basically as is, though if you’re in a rush, season three is kinda skippable as long as you read a general synopsis. This is the original arc of the show and it shows. A friend of mine, @sammwinchestersdimples​ has said she’d have been fine if the show had ended there, and I can totally see her point. After season five things start to get... uhhhhh... not as good. THAT BEING SAID some really amazing seasons come later, and you’d get nowhere NEAR the Full Destiel Experience without them. What REALLY sucks is that all the seasons have good moments in them, so even if the seasons are generally bad, they’ll have episodes of GOLD. But fuck it, here’s a season-by-season breakdown.

Season 6 - This is the first... “eh” season. There’s a lot of character choices made in this one that I don’t like. The plot also doesn’t quite seem to know what to do with itself and it has no real main villain... or I guess it has a twist villain? This is also the season where they start chucking in the typical “no homos” you get when a show is queerbaiting, so they can point to the no homo bits and claim the queers are delusional.

Season 7 - The absolute WORST season, imo, is season 7, and it features Cas the least out of all the post season 4 seasons. You can tell the writers genuinely tried to write Cas off here. Not to mention the main plot is completely stupid. HOWEVER this is the season where we get golden things like Cas showing up to Dean’s prayer naked and covered in bees, and the episode where Charlie (best girl) is introduced and Dean subsequently has to flirt with a dude because she, a lesbian, cannot. (Wow so straight, Dean)

Episodes Not To Skip:

6x03 - A good Cas/plot episode (spot the famous destiel quote)

6x04 - A good all-round episode, also Jackles directed it so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6x09 - This is one of the Batshit Episodes. Definitely watch.

6x10 - On the one hand, Cas episode. On the other, no homo, megstiel episode. Your choice.

6x11 - Good episode.

6x15 - THE ULTIMATE META EPISODE. Sam and Dean are teleported into Jared Padelecki and Jensen Ackles’ lives on the set of Supernatural and it is so batshit.

6x17 - Jolly good episode, and nice destiel content.

6x18 - Time travel episode, which is always fun.

6x19 - “Baby in a trenchcoat.” ‘Nough said.

6x20 - The Man Who Would Be King is the destiel episode. It is infamous in the fandom, and for good reason. It’s not just a good destiel episode, but one of the best episodes in the series. With banging lines like “Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.” and “For a brief moment, I was me again.”

6x21 & 6x22 - The last two episodes are kind of must-watches after TMWWBK, trust me.

Episodes Not To Skip:

7x01 & 7x02 - follows on from s6 final. You don’t wanna skip.

7x05 - Good general episode

7x06 - Again, good general episode. Sets ups plot for the season.

7x08 - Ugh. So the A plot for this episodes invoves Becky, the insane, stalker, fandom-insert character, roofie Sam into marrying her (and it’s heavily implied they have sex - and it’s treated as a joke despite being LITERAL RAPE). BUT this is the episode where Garth is introduced and Garth is fucking amazing. So. IDEK.

7x10 & 7x11 - Plot important.

7x12 - Time travel episode! See if you can catch the bi!dean moment ;)

7x17 - Cas is back! Or is he???

7x18 - GARTH EPISODE

7x20 - CHARLIE!!!! WATCH THIS EPISODE!!!!

7x21 - Cas episode. It’s... interesting.

7x22 - The tagline for this episode is “Sam and Dean seek out an Alpha” 😭. It’s a Cas episode.

7x23 - If Cas weren’t in this episode I’d say skip it.

Season 8 - A fantastic season. If The Man Who Would Be King is the destiel episode, season 8 is the destiel season. When you watch this, DM me so I can RANT about all the amazing destiel this season. It’s also, again, a great season in general I remember watching it as it was airing it was soooo good. You have the arrival of the Bunker, you have Kevin and Charlie being awesome, some nice sprinkles of batshit episodes, BEST BOY BENNY rocks up in all his glory. Fucking epic season. Only downside it Sam’s character takes a bit of a dive. I’d recommend you watch through all of this season.

Episodes To AVOID:

7x13 - I literally pretend this stupid fucking episode doesn’t exist. Basically Dean impregnates a woman with Super Pregnancy and she has a daughter who becomes an adult within hours and then dies. The end. Everyone hated it. Man fuck this episode. Of course it was written by Buckleming.

Season 9 - Sadly, after how amazing season 8 was, and how spectactularly season 9 was set up, this season is a disappointment. It’s an ok season. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it’s just a bit all over the place.

I was going to give you the normal episode list to not skip, but looking through, most episodes this season should be watched for one reason or another. Either they’re Cas heavy, they do some interesting character building, or they feature one of the awesome side characters like Charlie or Jody.

This season is probably the height of the war in the writers’ room about destiel. Some writers want to no homo the whole thing and back way off, while other writers want to lean into it hard. So in the same season where SPOILER Cas loses his virginity to a random reaper woman and Dean kicks Cas out of the bunker to fend for himself, you also have Cas’ fatal flaw used as propaganda against him by Metatron being that he’s "in love” with humanity Dean. /SPOILER Whatever you do DON’T SKIP THE FINAL FEW EPISODES. TRUST ME.

Season 10 - Haha oh dear. This season is likely the biggest for wasted potential. You saw the end of season 9, right? You go “HOLY SHIT YES LET’S DO THIS” and then they do... season 10. They really became experts at setting up an awesome season only to fuck it up in delivery, right? Again, not a bad season, per se.

Episodes To AVOID:

9x05 - In which Dean wants to fuck a dog. I am not joking. I wish I were. Basically a spell-gone-wrong makes Dean doglike. it’s weird. it’s batshit. Not the good kind.

Season 11 - Season 11 is a pretty good season! They tried to give Dean a female love interest but Jackles said  ✨No✨ and played Dean as brainwashed and uncomfortable the whole time and I love him for it. Of special note this season is the episode Baby (11x04), which is my favourite episode in the series! It’s funny, it’s heartwarming, it’s weirdly shot. I love it! We also get casifer this season which is awesome! Some episodes are skippable, but they’re generally good episodes.

Episodes NOT to Skip (ignore the 10 year special):

10x01 & 10x02 - Great episodes, Dean in this is *chefs kiss*.

10x04 - *sighs* Fan Fiction. A 200th episode that is simultaneously a love letter to fans and laughing in fans’ faces. I’ve never liked this episode for the second-hand embarressment of it all, but you should watch it and see if you like it.

10x06 - Pretty good episode.

10x07 - Jody AND Donna! Fantastic episode!

10x08 - Dadstiel rears his ugly head. I fucking love how Cas adopts two (2) kids over the course of the series and in both cases Dean eventually goes “ah fuck, I guess I gotta co-parent this thing”. Also we get some KILLER destiel this episode. hey go on a DATE and Cas tells Dean he’s a good person ^_^

10x09 - Good episode. Much destiel.

10x10 - Charlie episode!

10x11 - Teen!Dean! Need I say more?

OK so I just had a look, and you really just need to watch every episode from this point in the season on. Enjoy!

Season 12 - Another example of a TERRRIBLE season, is season 12. Season 12 is also one of the most destiel-heavy seasons in the show. You see the issue? Like, it’s got a stupid plot that makes no sense and has no fucking cohesion, but you also FINALLY have the writers going “fuck it” and all in on the destiel. After this point Dean never has another non-Cas love interest and vice versa, they stop giving us whiplash from baiting and no-homoing. IF the conspiracy theory is true, and the end of the show is shit because of executive meddling, this season is the one where the writers decided they were gonna push for destiel endgame.

I gotta tell you the truth, I skipped this season in my rewatch, so all of my memories are from years ago when it first came out. This seson was the last that I watched live (for a reason). Should you skip it? No. But I’m not well informed enough about this season that I can point out what episodes you should or should not watch.

Season 13 - Congratulations! You’ve reached the point where the show’s gotten consistently good again! (just in time for most of the audience to have already left lol). We start off with SPOILERS Dean mourning Cas like he’s lost the will to fucking live. I’m talking complete despondence, praying for Cas to come back, lashing out in anger at everything, one of the darkest points we’ve ever seen him at on the show, then pulling a 180 and being super happy the second Cas comes back. /SPOILERS They also introduce Jack, who is the SECOND child Cas decides to adopt and Dean ends up co-parenting (Sam too). In fact, Jack is explicity Sam, Cas, and Dean’s kid.

Season 14 - Another good one. My only issue is where they decided to take the plot at the end of the season. I’d recommend watching it all, regardless.

Season 15 - And so we’ve come to the end of the line. This season was... well it was actually pretty good. It started off with what we hellers lovingly refer to as the “divorce arc” where Cas and Dean have a big blow up, and Cas leaves, but that ends with Dean praying on his knees for forgiveness and a nice hug. Honestly this season you can cut the tension between the two of them like a knife, and you can tell Misha and Jensen were doing it deliberately.

I’d say watch up until 15x18, then you decide what to do with the last two episodes. If you want you can watch them to understand just why people put their conspiracy theory hats on, or you can send me another ask and I’ll rec you some post 15x18 finale fics! There’s one fic that’s a replacement for 15x20 written in script format that is particularly good.

Anyway that’s it. It’s kind of left me a little sad, to break down the show in this way. Especially coming up to season 15 nd remembering all the wasted potential. Honestly if you do decide to watch the show, good luck. I hope you enjoy it. I’m also glad you never had to be put through the bullshit false hope that came about after 15x18.

[greenwaterskeeter]

i finally have a coherent personal narrative, and here it is. It’s quite long, but i think of some interest, and might be encouraging!

-Mentions of suicidal ideation, emotional and financial abuse, emotional incest, fatphobia, misogyny, capitalism. Whatever the qpr equivalent of romance is. Ends happily-

I felt for a long time that i should have died when i was 20. Not in the sense that i deserved to, but in the sense that by then i’d accomplished as much as i ever would and was therefore obsolete– taking up resources unnecessarily.

When i was 13, i felt forced to choose between my parents. My bus driver/karate teacher, a kind person who i very much admired, advised me to flip a coin and then, if i didn’t like the result, pick the other. I chose my mother and (privately) pledged absolute loyalty to her (I was obsessed with LOTR at the time and felt that it was the purpose of my life to be a Sam for somebody).

While she was single and struggling to keep the farm and raise my brother (a toddler then), that devotion was used and rewarded. There were times i thought with satisfaction that i might as well be her husband, as well as a parent to my beloved brother. I was proud. I felt righteous. The joy of supporting and protecting her was real. The intermittent anguish of being a minor who could legally only do so much to help was also real. (I believed in laws then).

When I was 17, she remarried (a perfectly nice, wealthy man, as devoted as me and much more powerful) and i went to college. I slowly imploded across all four years, though I didn’t realize that until nearly the end. I think now it was because nothing i could offer her was needed anymore. Every time she treated me like a child instead of the valued partner i had been, i was crushed. Emasculated. i began to feel positively Tortured without understanding why. It sounds like a villain’s origin story, doesn’t it?

When it started affecting my performance, i could only think the trouble was that i was pining for a married professor, as you do. I had fallen in love with him, and made myself his best student (and then his TA, and then began to feel gross about it, quit, and started avoiding where i knew he’d be, all without telling anyone). Once my decline became known and answers were demanded, this was all i could offer in explanation.

I didn’t blame anyone consciously then, but i think now i felt betrayed by how my friends and family reacted. They all thought i must have seduced him (or vice versa if they were generous) to be so torn up. It was too foolish to become suicidal over a crush. They didn’t believe me, or accused me of grandiosity, when i said the professor didn’t even know how i felt. I have always struggled to keep in touch with people, and once my oldest friends gave me the Adultery is Bad talk, it was hard to keep trying.

Everyone did their best and we were all very young. I didn’t understand any more than they did. But still, i can acknowledge now what it would have meant to have just one person who believed in me regardless of understanding. On a deeply hidden level, i felt that my mother, at least, owed me that, after years of faithful service.

But horribly, once it became clear my suicidality was almost entirely passive, she turned on me. She was very frightened. I guess she had also been thanking her lucky stars all that time that i wasn’t turning out like my dad, but here i revealed myself at last to be a freeloader, just like him. I was supposed to go to medical school. I had been the pride of the extended family, the eldest and purest of my generation, a marvel of the local intelligentsia, and i wound up dragging myself back home inept, directionless, cringing, the same as so many unfortunate young cousins and neighbors who’d used to have me pointed out to them as an example. Who would my brothers look up to now?

I endured living at home for a few years. My mom couldn’t keep up the punishment constantly, so although there was no telling when she would start in on me again, or whether she might finally go through with evicting me, there were beautiful things too.

I worked for her husband’s business for no pay, which i understand now was abusive, but i have always enjoyed working with my hands, and when they left me to it, it felt like the old days, like i had a use, even if it was now peripheral. My brothers weren’t sure what to do with me, but we still had fun when we could. The animals comforted me, and it’s special to be able to give affection and gentleness to a creature who depends on you. The woods and mists and early mornings and silent moonlights were still beautiful, and gradually i could appreciate them again. When i was with people, i felt my disgrace abjectly. But on the farm there were many chores to be done alone.

The more i recovered, the more trapped i felt. I even, very alarmingly, spent about two hours one afternoon silently consumed with resentful feelings towards my mother (this hadn’t happened since i was 10). I began to be afraid of losing control and doing something desperate (I totaled two different trucks during this time, on roads i knew well, for no apparent reason). I had given up my spot at a medical school i would not get into twice, and the obvious escape was to reapply elsewhere. I attempted this, and sabotaged it, multiple times.

I got a job at a nursing home, which was hard on my back but full of wonderful people, and was forced to quit when it made me late to my shift at my stepfather’s business too many times. By this i understood that a local job was not getting me out of there. I asked for money to get an EMT certification and was refused. I applied to many online jobs, none of which i had enough time to make money from. I called up one or two branches of the military, and was rejected for being too fat, thank God. I applied to medical school again, and managed to not sabotage it enough that i was accepted into a master’s program instead. It was across the state, five hundred miles away.

And still it might have come to nothing, as i had no conscious plans, actually, of staying away once i was done with this master’s program. The expected thing would be to go on to medical school, but i was only anticipating the first day of being free and couldn’t imagine anything more than a week in the future. I looked at the amount of debt i was taking on for this, knowing in my heart that i would not get a job that could pay it back, and was only relieved that they hadn’t caught onto me and i could still get loans.

There are a lot of things in my story that aren’t what they say is healthy or proper. I shouldn’t have romanticized my own parentification, i should not have had feelings for a 50 year old man, i should have kept trying with my friends, who have good hearts and only made one mistake before i ghosted them, i should have kept telling the truth, i shouldn’t have taken moral injury from things that weren’t my fault, i should have been properly angry with my mother at some point, i should not be grateful that my tendency is to harm myself rather than others.

One person alone should not have been able to save me.

In the second month of my year away, i was in a study group with my roommates and some of their acquaintances, and i laughingly shared some anecdote or other that i thought was harmless. I don’t remember whether anyone else laughed, but one person said: “That sounds kind of fucked up.”

“Oh,” I said, embarrassed. “Eh, well.”

Nothing more was made of it, and we went on studying. Later, this same person saw me sitting in the cafeteria alone and came to sit with me. We met to study again, just us two, and they showed me a video about white tears and watched me closely for my reaction. We compared ideals and found them the same. We came up with a project to collectivize flashcard-making for our class and had to meet frequently to carry it out. “We’re colleagues,” my new friend said, firmly, when people asked if we were together. We discovered ethical problems with the program and protested them, formally and informally. We were accused of being too insular. We talked about our families, and they said things like: “That’s not okay, you realize that, right” and “I think if more people loved the way you do, I’d have a reason to smile in the morning.” It became normal for my eyes to be sore from crying.

Neither of us got into medical school that year. We got an apartment together after graduation, and worked together too until i was fired (I was new to challenging authority and not very subtle in my distaste for our bosses). My friend’s parents wanted them to quit too, to come home while they reapplied, but they said: “Not without Autumn.” So after some negotiating, we went to live with their folks for a while…

We’ve been together for 5 years now. At first I did the same as I’d always done, but my partner made it clear they don’t want self-abnegation from me. I started trying to have boundaries, paradoxically, to make them happy. I’ve dipped into therapy as money allows. I’ve been reading and thinking and writing. Above all, I’ve been loved.

And all this time, I’ve still been deeply ashamed. I’ve spent the last ten years in some degree of emotional pain 24/7. But somehow, two weeks ago, another thing happened that shouldn’t, and i suddenly knew that i was a human being like any other.

I still feel that I should have died when I was 20, but now it’s in the sense that people say, “You shouldn’t have survived that! What a miracle!” Still existing feels like a bonus. I might live a long time from now and i might not. Either way, I’m incredibly lucky to turn my face to the world and know that i am a creature in it, like other creatures. I am well. It’s good that I’m alive.

[cptn-stvngrntrgrs]

Fic: Sign of the Times

Relationship: Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanoff

Summary:

His job is simple - return the stones and try not to mess up. Then come back to the present, live his life with his best friends. But he knew. He knew he can’t come back. Not if she’s not with him. But if what if they can start all over again? -- Just stop your crying Have the time of your life Breaking through the atmosphere And things are pretty good from here Remember everything will be alright We can meet again somewhere Somewhere far away from here

Also on AO3!

She isn’t coming back.

Steve still has trouble wrapping this idea around his head. She was just gone for a minute and she promised to see him after that, but she never did.

At that moment, Steve knew. This fight is all or nothing, whatever it takes. The anger and pure sadness are fighting for dominance, but both are crushing his heart. The devastation of Natasha’s loss was something he was never prepared for; something he never thought he would experience again. He remembered this feeling, pain so raw that he thought his heart was going to burst. The only time he felt this way was seeing Bucky fall from that train and waking up in the 21st century, taking in the fact that his old life was gone. And it really was.

That was, until Natasha came. She came into his life with her sarcasm and wit and humor, and the fact that she can totally beat Steve in combat. Her fearless and selfless nature that mirrors Steve’s; making her his true partner. But now she’s also gone.

Anger overtook sadness then. He wants to crush Thanos. He wants him to pay for Nat’s death. But most importantly, he wants them to win. For her. So her life being gone wouldn’t be in vain.

---

If Steve was being honest, he thought he was done for. With his shield breaking and Thanos and his army gaining advantage, he didn’t think they’d stand a chance. But alas, they had to try - he had to try. That’s what Nat would’ve done - fight til the end.

Everyone came back and they had done it - they won. But god, at what cost?

---

Clint insisted that Natasha’s funeral will be held in his farm; it’s only fitting, he said. He hasn’t been the same since Vormir: sure, he’s happy that his family is back, but it’s not complete. And it’s because of him. Steve understands his pain, him being in the same shoes with Bucky all those years ago.

“You loved her,” were the words Clint whispered to him during Nat’s funeral. Since her body wasn’t physically there, they made sure that their memory of hers is. The kids drew pictures of their Auntie Nat and Clint and Steve printed out pictures of them with her. It’s a mini-shrine dedicated to her, overflowing with flowers and pictures of her smile. The kids said a few words to her, and so did Clint. Steve couldn’t bring himself to say anything so he just stayed standing, quietly weeping to himself.

When Clint came back from Vormir alone, there was no time to mourn. They were ambushed and they had a job to do. He didn’t forget her - he never will, nor can he even if he wanted to - but he had something in front of him. Now, everything is final. She really isn't coming back. And Steve is not ready for that.

---

His job is simple - return the stones and try not to mess up. Then come back to the present, live his life with his best friends.

But he knew. He knew he can’t come back. Not if she’s not with him.

Thankfully, Bucky and Sam understood, just like he knew they would. They understood what Natasha meant to him, and as much as he loved them and vice versa, he just couldn’t see living his life without her.

“Hm, maybe you can save me from Hydra,” Bucky suggested. It was the night before Steve travels to put the stones back; their last night with him. “Then we’ll still be together.”

Sam sighed, not really wanting to think about the whole time travel fiasco. “Yeah sure, then when you’re a literal old man when you come back, just give me the shield. We’ll be the newer, cooler duo,” he joked, pointing between him and Bucky.

Steve let out a smile. He’s going to miss them.

---

Steve travelled to 2012 to return the stones and that was when he saw her again, and he felt his breath get caught in his throat. Her bright red hair, her gleaming green eyes. He itched to run to her, to tell them that they’ve won, despite knowing full well she won’t know what he was talking about and just get even more in trouble.

No, but he has a plan.

And he had to make it work.

After dutifully returning the stones from that year, Steve snuck into the tower, making sure that 2012-Steve wasn’t there. He waited on his floor, making himself comfortable in the couch. He looked around and smiled; there were so many good memories in this tower, and felt a pang of pain in his chest knowing that a certain redhead was the reason behind that.

He composed himself together, running his plan in his mind over and over, and convincing himself that it’ll work.

Almost two hours later, the elevator opened and 2012-Steve walked out of it, alone, just as Steve has expected.

“Hey man,” Steve called out, shield in hand, in case that he won’t be treated nicely.

And sure enough, a shield was thrown at him.

“What the hell!” other-Steve shouted out, still in his uniform and looking both parts exhausted and angry and confused, catching his shield back with a frown.

“Listen, I can explain.” Steve said, dropping his shield in front of him and raising his hands up - an indication that he’s harmless. “I’m you. But from 2023.”

2012-Steve had the audacity to roll his eyes. Steve had to stop himself from doing the same. “I don’t know what kind of prank Tony-” he started, but was cut off when Steve started talking.

“My, well, our mother’s name is Sarah Rogers. Back before the serum, you wore newspaper in your shoes and Bucky never let you live it down. He promised to take you the the “future” and took you to Stark’s expo. Do you want me to continue?” he rattled off. These are what he guesses are facts that Steve and only Steve would know, in hopes that he’ll get his past self’s trust.

2012-Steve was staring at him intently, brows still furrowed in confusion, but he too, lowered his shield. He didn’t let go of it, but it’s less… threatening. “Why are you telling me these things?”

“To prove to you that I’m you. But from the future.”

“What do you need from me? Why are you here? How is this even possible?” past-Steve asked in rapid succession, but it looks like he’s finally starting to believe what he’s seeing.

“It’s actually a very long story. Care to sit with me to talk about it?” Steve asked, gesturing to the couch. 2012-Steve nodded and sat across from him, still looking very confused, but he can tell that there’s still fascination and curiosity in his eyes.

Steve launched into the story of basically, everything from that year on. He talked about Thanos, the Time Heist, and Pym Particles, and what his mission was. He’d get a few questions here and there from the other but mostly just little details or clarification. The longest part was about Bucky and everything involving him, but they eventually got over it.

When he finished, 2012-Steve sat back, stared straight ahead in silence, before standing up and getting a bottle of vodka. present-Steve smiled, knowing who got him to start drinking that, knowing full well it won’t affect him.

“So what do you really want then?” 2012-Steve asked, after a couple moments of them passing the bottle between each other and drinking.

“Well, as you know, I could’ve just gone back there like, a couple of days ago. My mission was over,” Steve started to explain, fiddling with his hands. “But I can’t. I can’t go back, not after…” he took a deep breath. “Not after Natasha not making it back.”

2012-Steve raised an eyebrow. Oh. “Were you two…?” he trailed off, knowing that Steve understands the question. Steve nodded and put his hands over his face.

“We were together,” he whispered, gulping as he can feel tears threatening to fall. “I just… she was my everything, you know? I didn’t think I can love like that again, after Peggy, but,” Steve shook his head and smiled bitterly. “I did. I don’t think I loved anyone as much as I love Natasha.”

Steve looked at his past-self. “I know exactly what you’re feeling. It’s almost the same - after waking up from the ice, I don’t see what my purpose here is when everything and everyone I knew was gone. That’s the life that will welcome me if I were to come back to the future. A life without Natasha. I mean, there’s Bucky and Sam, but…”

“It’s just not the same.” 2012-Steve finished for him.

They sat in silence for a while, watching the city getting darker and darker, but also brighter.

“So what do you want me to do?” 2012-Steve asked.

“Go back in time, around the time of the plane crash, so you can live the life you wanted. With Peggy and the Commandos. Maybe even rescue Bucky,” Steve answered.

“While you live your life here in my place, and get to live the life you want with Natasha. And hopefully prevent the whole Thanos thing from happening. From this timeline, at least. Did I guess correctly?” there was a gentle smile in his face - this is such a Steve thing to think of, no matter which timeline he’s from.

Steve chuckled and nodded. “Now, I know it has some concerning things. Like if you were to go back, there will be a Steve in that year that is under the ice. Maybe just… leave him? But I only ask you to explain everything to Peggy and hopefully she’s understand.”

2012-Steve thought about it for a moment before nodding. “You’re insane, but okay, I’ll take it. I just have to ask - why me? Why choose 2012 you?”

“Because I know you. Still fresh from the ice and most of your memories are still from the time before. The 1940s were a mere 6 months ago instead of 70 years. And the girl I love is here.” Steve shrugged. “It just… seemed like it made sense.”

2012-Steve pondered it over. “Yeah… I mean, of course right now, I do like Natasha, but not in that way yet. But,” he sighed, “Peggy… I miss her so much. Wait, didn’t you mention that from your timeline, she got married and had kids with Daniel? What happens if I go back to 1945?”

Steve actually asked Bruce about that, so he was ready. “Nothing. That still happens but in a different timeline. Like I told you, time travel doesn’t exactly create a domino effect.”

Later that night, they set their plan in motion. Steve taught past-Steve what was going to happen. “Remember, get Bucky, okay? You have to rescue him,” Steve reminded him. 2012-Steve nodded and gave him a thumbs up.

In a matter of seconds, he’s gone.

And Steve’s back in 2012. Permanently.

He lied down on the couch and let out a deep sigh. He felt so exhausted, it’s as if everything came crashing down on him all at once.

“Sir, Agent Romanoff is on her way up,” Jarvis alerted him after half an hour of him taking a nap. This made Steve jolt up - it’s been a while since he heard that voice and he smiled to himself.

Steve blinked, standing up to pick up his shield from the ground, placing it in a corner just as Natasha was entering. For a moment, he didn’t know how to react.

“Hey sold- oh!” her greeting was lost in a gasp of surprise as Steve enveloped her in his arms and hugged her tightly. She frowned in confusion but also put her arms around him. She tends to humor the guy.

“Nat, I just… missed you, is all,” he said after letting her go.

“We were just together, like” she checked her watch, “five hours ago,” she glanced up at him, eyebrow raised.

Steve felt his face redden. “Oh, I mean, l - I, just forget about it,” he said sheepishly, averting his eyes away from her.

Natasha laughed - Steve’s favorite sound - and playfully punched his shoulder. “I’m just messin with ya, Cap. I could use a hung here and there sometimes,” she added with a wink. “Now let’s go, the team’s waiting upstairs! You’re the one who wanted to watch Mulan tonight!”

“Of course, Mulan, my favorite movie.” Steve said as they were waiting for the elevator.

Natasha looked up at him in surprise. “I thought we’re watching it tonight because you’ve never watched it before?” she asked, studying his face. Steve gulped and almost told a lie when she spoke again. “Don’t tell me you watched it by yourself!”

Steve shook his head. “No, I just… saw some memes on the Internet comparing you to Mulan. So I guess it would become my favorite movie soon.”

Natasha smiled at that, both of them entering the elevator. “You’re such a sap,” she looked down and tucked her hair behind her ear. When she looked up at him, a smirk was on her lips. “And I’m glad I’m finally getting through you! Look at you, looking up memes! I’m so proud.” she put a hand on her chest to emphasize on this.

Steve tucked his hands in his pockets and bumped his shoulder with her. He loves how comfortable they already are. Well, that’s the thing with them. They’ve always been this way, even in his 2012. After the Battle of New York and they hung out as a team, it’s always been easy for them to just be around each other. It’s mainly the reason why Fury put them together - they just clicked.

When the elevator stopped at the penthouse, Steve put his arm over Natasha’s shoulder casually as they walked to the living room, and he could’ve sworn she leaned into him even just a little bit.

“What, the old man needed some assistance on his way here?” Tony quipped from the couch, where he was already munching on popcorn from a bowl.

Steve took a deep breath and looked around. It’s just the six of them in the floor - like how it’s always been before.

Thor is probably here for a couple of days, which is what he usually did back then. Clint is already halfway to falling asleep, and Bruce is calmly sitting down while drinking tea. Natasha lead them to the couch where she sat next to Clint, and lying his legs over his lap. Clint barely glanced at her before shifting so she could be more comfortable.

Steve sat on the empty spot next to her, and as much as he wanted her to get curled up on his lap like how they usually end up, that didn’t start happening until 2014. This Natasha has no reason to be that close to him, nor does he with her.

But he’ll wait. Going back in time is like restarting a game you’ve already beaten before, but Steve loved the journey as much as he did the destination. He’ll do it right, like he did before. He had Natasha back - Tony, too - and for now, he couldn’t really ask for more.

Notes: Thanks for reading!

title is a Harry Styles song, although I didn't know it was his bc I've always only just listened to LANY's version lol

--

this idea came to me after not accepting Steve's ending. steve in 2023 has no reason to go back to peggy like that. then i was like "hmmm... maybe *not* 2023 steve, then"

hence, this fic was born. please let me know what you guys think of it!! this was really cloudy in my mind and i debated a couple times whether or not to actually go through with it. i'd love to hear some input!

[panlight]

I hate how Twilight implies if you ever have love outside of your “fated” love you’re deficient. Esme never truly loves anyone but Carlisle and vice versa. Same with Rose and Em. Alice and Edward never even THINK of anyone but their eventual loves. Jasper’s only real partner is Alice. Imprinting. So Bella never truly likes Jake romantically. Jake never truly likes Bella either; he’s just subconsciously attracted to Nessie. Only inferior humans love more than once. It’s gross.

What’s even weirder is that characters almost seem to be punished for attempting to find love with someone who wasn’t their True Love.  Esme bowed to parental and societal pressure and married a man she was indifferent to, hoping she could have a family and find some happiness, and he turns out to be abusive. Its almost like she was supposed to just keep pining after Carlisle and hoping they’d meet again somehow, and because she chose to live her life instead, it turned terrible. Likewise Rosalie, who was happy to marry a man she hardly knew because she had romanticized the idea of love and marriage and she was met with horror because of it. Laurent wasn’t as into Irina and she was into him, and now they’re both dead. Tanya dared to have a crush on Edward and then is forever alone.  Leah dared to be involved with Sam who was ~destined for Emily (even though she had no way of knowing that and was dating him first!!) and she ends up alone, too.The only exceptions to this seem to be Renee and Charlie. They are allowed to move on and find new love, but I guess that’s because they were never True Love in the first placec?  Although Charlie was apparently still in love with Renee all those years later, until he got with Sue. So actually I guess it’s Sue who is the one who is allowed to move on and have two loves, although we don’t know how long she and Charlie will last or what fresh hell might be visited upon them, so perhaps I am speaking too soon. Personally, I LOVE second chance love stories, and I love people finding happiness again after a love lost. I also love the idea that just because maybe a relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean it wasn’t real at the time. Charlie and Renee can be real love but outside circumstances (Renee’s dislike of Forks, Charlie’s parents being sick) can drive them apart. It doesn’t mean it wasn’t real or profound or worth it. If Esme had a nice human first husband who had loved her and treated her well but he had died or whatever, it wouldn’t make her second marriage with Carlisle any less. Especially with someone like Esme, with her enhanced ability to love, why couldn’t she have had TWO  love stories without one making the other mean any less? 

[elliepassmore]

Throne of Glass Review

5/5 stars Recommended for people who like: fantasy, strong female leads, multiple POVs, deadly competitions This is where Celaena's journey technically, 'actually' begins. Coming into ToG, it's a year after the end of Assassin's Bladeand Celaena is, miraculously, still alive. She's fetched by the Prince and Captain of the Guard and once more thrown face-to-face with the King of Adarlan and other people who would gladly kill her given the chance. I'm sensing a theme to Celaena's life here...might it be another Tuesday? UnlikeBlade, ToG is told from multiple 3rd person POVs, so we're able to get a broader view of the things going on during the events of the book. I think, reading it for the first, time without having readBlade first, you definitely have the ability to sympathize with most of the POVs....but coming fresh off of Blade, I couldn't help but feel defensive over Celaena. There's really a stark difference between how Sam treated her versus how Chaol, the Captain of the Guard, and even Dorian, the Prince, treat her. Perhaps obviously, I preferred Celaena's POV followed by Dorian's, then Chaol's, then Kaltain's (a courtier at the palace). Celaena's character definitely has a darker, sadder feel to her in this one (perhaps obviously). She's still ferocious, but there's also a part of her that's more doubtful than she was in Blade, which, considering the amount of care Maas puts into foreshadowing and other details, I'm going to take as an intentional change in Celaena's character. Never fear, though, she's still the same spoiled, luxury-loving, arrogant assassin we know from the prequel. Never one to falter, Celaena almost immediately gets back to training and rebuilding her strength, and we do get to see that progression. In the beginning, Celaena loses a sparring match to Chaol, at the end, she's able to hold her own in....less than favorable conditions against an opponent much stronger and more ruthless than Chaol. Reminisce of the prequel, that spark of Celaena that wants to get away from Rifthold and be free is back again, as well as the reckless and loyal sides of her. Perhaps it is the proximity to Adarlan's crown, but Celaena also has more Terrasen in her in this book. It was referenced multiple times in Blade, but I feel it's more prominent here and it lends itself to getting a bit more of Celaena's background. Dorian might be just as spoiled, if not more-so, as Celaena. Celaena might be in-your-face about it, but it's clear that while Dorian doesn't believe in what his father is doing to the rest of the continent, he's never really been face-to-face with it the way Celaena has (so perhaps we're talking about two different kinds of spoiled here). He makes the distinction from the beginning that he wants people to genuinely respect him and has little patience for the drama and back-stabbery of the court. It's clearly an attempt on Maas' part to make him a sympathetic part of the very despised nobility and, while there's plenty of room for it to fail, it actually comes off naturally on Dorian. He's a witty character, willing to take jabs at the people around him, but he also has a more sensitive side that knows when to back off and let things go. He also shows the ability to be bothered by the things that happen around him. He's often bored in his POVs, which can lead to being bored while reading them sometimes, but he makes up for it with his behavior in other peoples' POVs. I think I ended up liking his POV better than Chaol's, despite the moments when he's boring, is due to how much he's consistently nicer to our main character than Chaol is. Chaol is the Captain of the Guard and Dorian's best friend, soof course, he's going to be snippy and wary of Celaena, but there are times when he's just downright mean to her. If Dorian is spoiled because he's never been fully faced with the consequences of his father's regime, then Chaol can only be purposefully ignorant of the implications of following the King of Adarlan's commands with little more than blind commitment to duty. Chaol used to be one of my favorite characters, but as I've grown and had time to read other books and reread this series, the more I find myself just turned off by his behavior. Yes, Celaena's a notorious assassin, but she's also a teenager who's fresh out of a death camp, cut her a little slack. He does have some genuinely nice and funny moments, though, which start to redeem his character a little. Kaltain was just a pain in the ass to read and I don't recall ever really liking her character. That being said, now that it's been a couple years, I can appreciate that Maas included her as a character with a POV. One the one hand, Kaltain gives us a view of who's plotting against Celaena and gives plenty of foreshadowing for things to come. Kaltain also has access to speak to characters that some of the others don't. On the other hand, and at a deeper level, Kaltain acts as a world-builder. It's easy to write off Kaltain's interest in Dorian as a vain grab for power, but I think it represents more than that. It's a way to show how girls in Adarlan, perhaps specifically girls in nobility, have little ability to determine their own futures. Katlain's interest in Dorian doesn't simply stem from vanity, but from a desire to have power--over herself, over or for her friends, and potentially over the people who wronger her. From the way I read it, Kaltain desperately wants to change her situation and her station. Maybe it is all vanity and shallowness on her part, but a part of me believes her actions are because she feels stuck with her role in life and the people she's been surrounded by have taught by example that manipulating and clawing your way into the top position is not only the way to gain power, but also the way to gain followers and admiration. I really like Nehemia's character. Like Celaena, Nehemia is from a country that's been conquered by the King of Adarlan. Unlike Celaena, Nehemia is in a position to help her people and country. She clearly cares about her people and wants them to be free from Adarlan's rule. She's a princess with a plan, even if the entire thing isn't totally clear yet. From her introduction, you can tell Nehemia's wildfire. She speaks Eyllwe and talks about people to their faces, benefitting from the fact that nearly everyone solely knows the common tongue (which, surprise surprise, is not Eyllwe), and she has no issues flaunting orders (again, no surprise considering she's a princess). I do wish we got to see more scenes of her sparring, I would've enjoyed seeing her whoop Dorian's ass. I like that she befriends Celaena and doesn't mind that Celaena cannot tell her the full truth about things. I really liked Philippa too. She's a little gruff at first, but I think Celaena needs someone to be a bit gruff with her on occasion. Besides, Philippa is more of a motherly-gruff toward Celaena than anything else. I thought she also had quite a few funny lines and more than enough steel in her spine to protect Celaena if need be and to aid in any debauchery...well, to an extent. In terms of romantic relationships...I'm skeptical of all of them, to be honest, but I'm especially skeptical at the beginning signs of Chaol's. When I first read the series, I liked the idea of Celaena and Chaol together, but the two times (one and a quarter times?) I've reread the series since, I can't help but dislike Chaol's interactions with Celaena. As mentioned above, neither Dorian nor Chaol treat her anywhere close to the way Sam does. Obviously, they're different people with different ways of expressing things, but Sam acted like Celaena truly brought him joy, never acted truly afraid of her, and never had qualms about accepting who she was or what she did in the past. The key with Sam is that he trusted her, but he also respected her and more-so, he respected her decisions. Never while reading ToG can I say I felt Chaol or Dorian came anywhere near any of those points. Chaol definitely doesn't accept who she is or what she's done, he doesn't trust her, he doesn't even entirely respect her, while he never fully shows it, I don't think he's unafraid of her either, and while there are moments when Celaena makes him happy, I don't think she brings him joy, or vice versa. Dorian's a bit closer to Sam, I'll admit. Celaena makes him happy, and I think he respects and tentatively trusts her, but the trust definitely isn't all the way there, and I think, despite his acceptance of her now, he still has qualms about what she's done in the past. On the flip side, I can say with confidence that neither Chaol nor Dorian bring Celaena anywhere close to that light, chest-bursting feeling she had with Sam, even if she does find them both attractive. Plot-wise, I enjoyed the idea of a competition, but I wish we got to see more of it. I think we get to see five of the total 13 events, plus the duel at the end. Since the competition was one of the main driving forces behind Celaena's motivation, as well as of the plot, I think we should've been able to see more of the events, more of the training, and more of the competitors. I think seeing more of the training could also have helped with character and relationship development some. From other books I've read, I can say that watching a character train, especially if they're training with someone, is a good metaphor for the character's arc--as they get physically stronger, their arc/development also grows 'stronger'--and when that training is with someone else, it creates a kind of intimacy between those two characters since the one has helped build the other up (and because of the amount of alone time training requires). In view of the larger series, I think this first book sets the stage pretty well. The whole thing's very action packed and has a clearly defined arc and goal, but it leaves enough paths open that they can be revisited again later on to help move the series forward. *BONUS* The Captain and the Prince 4/5 stars My paperback copy of ToG has a scene at the end of it between Chaol and Dorian before they go to fetch Celaena. It's pretty short, only a couple of pages, but it's technically part of the readable canon so... Despite the scene being so short, it definitely characterizes Dorian a great deal. We get to see his impatience with court, his disdain for his father, and his burgeoning desire to get out from under his father's yoke. I actually think we get a pretty good characterization of Chaol here too. He's cautious and protective, but he doesn't altogether shut Dorian down. He might be nicer here than he is in most of the book, to be honest. The scene also sets a decent stage for Dorian and Chaol's relationship as well. We get to see that Dorian is most definitely the impulsive one, but that he does think back on his previous reckless decisions and learn from them. At the same time, we get to see that Chaol is the more cautious one, but that he's willing to bend a little to make his friend happy and to get a bit of freedom himself. I think it's a decent short to read before starting ToG, and the dropped star has more to do with what my gut is saying than with any concrete evidence I can dredge up for an explanation.

[emergenciesstory]

We Need You - Part 6

Summary: A confession, a meeting, a recognition, a Wedding

Words: 2019 (This one got away from me)

A/N: While normally the breaks are a new scene/time lapse, this time it’s a POV flip. Pic’s are inspiration I had. No Beta- all mistakes mine (and I’m sure theres a ton as I stopped proofreading to post these faster.)

Also!: Forever thankful for @haven-in-writing for reading and commenting and willing this series to go on. Doll, your enthusiasm (and hatred of the angst) have willed me to keep writing. Keep being amazing!

We Need You Masterlist

It had been a few weeks since the rescue mission, and things had seemed to go back to normal. You had been receiving messages from the tower about everyone’s recovery, and slowly, the messages tapered out as life began again. Curled up against your wife, all was right with the world. The ringing of your phone woke you. Groping around in the darkness, you pulled the phone to your ear, softly pulling away from Max.

    “Hello?” you whispered, standing and walking towards the balcony.

    “Hey, Y/n/n. ‘M sorry, you were sleepin’.” Steve’s voice was soft on the other end of the phone. You smiled to yourself, he sounded so much better.

    “Hey, no worries Stevie. To what do I owe the pleasure?” The air was crisp and cool, but the quietness of the mountain in the morning was worth it.

    “Well, I was hoping it wouldn’t be too inconvenient for you to come to the farm today. It’s time.” He half laughed and you could see the blush on his cheeks.

    “I’d love to, Steve. What time are you planning?”

    “Afternoon? The fall colors and the sunset would be nice for pictures.” You could hear Bucky grumble in the background for Steve to hush, grumbling something about beauty sleep.

    “We will be there after lunch. Tell Buck to shut it, he’s pretty enough.” Steve’s chuckle confirmed Bucky was flicking you off, and the sun crested the mountain at the sound of his voice. It really was a pretty fall day to get married.

    “See you later, y/n/n. Love you.” Steve murmured.

    “Love you too, Stevie.” The call ended as you felt arms around you.

    “G’Morning, babe.” You sighed to Max, taking in the morning.

    “What was that? You have to go back?” She asked, voice quiet.

    “No, no we have a wedding to attend,” you hummed, running your hand through Max’s hair.

    “Who’s going to be there?” She asked, suddenly more alert.

    “Just the team, maybe a few of the newbies. Remember? I told you they wanted to meet you, love.”

    Max Nodded her head, sighing into you. You had told her a few days after you returned, mentioning they all wanted to meet her.

    “Can I ask you something?” Max said, looking up to you.

    “Always, babe. What’s up?” You looked down at her, a smile on your face. You sat down on the small swing, pulling Max in your lap to enjoy the morning.

    “I know you and Bucky were a thing before us, but what about you and Steve?” She asked, quietly.

    Concern laced your features, “What made you think of that?” You asked, holding her close.

    “It was just a question. No harm no foul?” She said shrugging. You had both been talking about the team dynamics and things the public didn’t know about your team all month, laughing and relaxing in knowing nothing was hidden between you. The rule “no harm no foul” began long ago, telling her no question would make you leave, and vice versa. It was a rule you had made before marrying the girl and stood by.

    “Steve and I were a thing, yes, but never physically involved. It was between the time I was with Bucky and meeting you. The emotional Catch-all. Kissing and cuddling and crying. He’s like a big brother to me.” You said, looking out at the woods coming to life with color and creatures. Max hummed, her thanks for answering, and nestled closer into you, falling asleep again.

    Max woke a couple hours later, the feel of your chest rising and falling behind her comforting. Slowly getting up, she covered you with a blanket and ventured back inside, brewing coffee before jumping in the shower. Friday dinged that a message had come in.

    “Go ahead Friday.” She said, cutting of the water and stepping into the steam, wrapping a towel around herself.

    “The Grooms would like to remind you the theme is casual, but that Y/N should bring her suit for a team photo.”

    “Thank you, Friday.” You said, coming into the bathroom right as the message ended. Giving Max a kiss, you stripped and stepped into the shower, allowing the hot water to arm your bones.

    “What are you wearing?” Max asked, drying her hair sitting on the toilet.

    “Umm, most likely my sweater and that cute scarf you got me last week.” You said, thinking of what was in your closet. 

    “With your brown boots?”

    “Yeah. You should wear that flannel I love, with the vest? It’d be cute.” You turned off the water and took the towel Max held out to you. 

    “Okay. I’ll call Laura and see if we can bring anything to help her out.” Max called out after you

____________________________

You pulled the truck up to the house, parking beside a pile of wood Clint had been cutting. You squeezed Max’s hand before climbing out, grabbing the tray with pies from the back and walking inside. The rest of the team hadn’t shown up yet, but things were already in full gear. Your Niece and Nephew grabbed Max’s hand almost immediately and pulled her outside to help them set up the “alter”. Apparently, they were tasked with weaving flowers into a little vine arch, and Max began showing Lila how to make flower crowns, smiling as Cooper made a show of being “too manly” but quickly was enthralled.

Laura was bustling around the kitchen, making finger foods and buzzing around with a fussy Nathaniel secured to her front. You jumped in to help, hearing the familiar roar of a Quintjet an hour or so later. Brushing your hands on a towel, you both ran out to the incoming team. Walking down the hill, you saw a blindfolded Steve being lead by Clint, and a little farther back a blindfolded Bucky with Natasha’s hand pulling him along. Sam, Tony, Wanda, Thor, Loki, and Even Director Fury followed behind.

“Why are they blindfolded?” You hollored, laughing and giving the two grooms a kiss on the cheek as they passed by, lead into the house.

“The grooms can’t see or speak to each other the day of the wedding.” Wanda informed you, pulling you into a hug. Clint and Natasha came back out, informing everyone the grooms were locked into seperate rooms to give us the time to finish setting up. You saw Max come back around with the eldest kids, about a dozen small flower crowns in her hands, and two large ones on the bottom.

“Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to my wife.” You gestured to her, smiles as Lila passed out the small flower crowns to everyone. “Max, this is, well, everyone!”

__________

    It was a lot of people to take in at once, and it must’ve shown on her face. Max smiled and held the two flower crowns she had made. Everyone seemed to notice she was overwhelmed, because the group broke apart into little groups and busied themselves.

    “Lady Max, It is a pleasure to finally meet you. Lady Y/N has told us so much about you. I am Thor Odinson, and this is my brother Loki.” Thor smiled and stuck out his hand.

    “All good I hope, It’s a pleasure.” Max said carefully setting down the crowns and shaking the Gods hand.

    “The pleasure is ours,” Loki said, flashing his signature smile.

Next came Wanda and Vision, both sending a warm buzz through Max when they met. Sam and Natasha were next, both teasing and already treating Max like family.

    “Well, my dear, It is a pleasure to finally put a name with a face. I’m Tony.” Taking his hand Max smiled, the firm shake slowing with his hand lingering in hers for a moment too long.

    “Have we met before?” Tony asked, eyebrows scrunching in concentration.

    “No, I don’t believe so,” Max lied, praying he wouldn’t catch on. “Unless, maybe from one of your infamous galas perhaps?”

    “Maybe. No matter, it is nice to see who put a smile on Y/N’s face. Excuse me.” Tony placed his hand on Max’s shoulder as he stepped by, heading over to where the kids and a couple of teammates were moving logs to sit near the vine arch.

______-

    “Hey babe,” you said, catching a kiss as you walked back to your wife. “Sorry, I know that was a lot at once.”

    “It’s okay,” Max smiled, picking up the crowns from the table behind her. “Two more people to meet. To The grooms?”

    “Yeah, let’s go meet the grooms.” You Followed behind her into the house and up the stairs to the two bedrooms. Knocking on the kids room door first, you smiled at hearing Bucky’s voice.

    “Bucky Barnes, I’d like to introduce my wife.” You said as you stepped into the room, holding the door open. Max entered, holding the orange flower crown in her hands.

    “Hey, I’m Max.” There was a silence that felt like an eternity but couldn’t have been more than a few seconds. Max and Bucky took in each other, looking up and down before Bucky broke into a smile.

    “Well, Max, you must be a badass to put up with Y/n. Respect.” He chuckled as Max blushed bright red. Holding out the flower crown, she crossed the small room.

    “Lila was hoping you’d wear this.” She wiggled her eyebrows, Holding it out to him.

    “Do I have to?” Bucky whined.

    “Yes.” You and Max said at the same time. You took the crown from her hands and placed it on Bucky’s head, weaving his long hair through it.

    “Perfect.” You said, taking Max’s hand as you stood. “We’d love to stay and chat, but there is one more Groom to meet today before the wedding.” You smirked, shooing Max out the door. Bucky grabbed your hand, catching you before you could follow.

    “Y/n, does it ever get easier?” He whispered.

    “What do you mean?” You asked, tilting your head to the side.

    “Loving more people, being married, do the butterflies go away for everyone else?” Bucky asked, his eyes desperate and pleading. You smoothed your hand on his cheek and tucked a hair behind his ear.

    “No Buck, the butterflies don’t go away. That’s what love is, it grows every day. You will always have butterflies for lost flames, but you will have new ones every day for your spouse, for the memories made.” His eyes looked like he needed more, scared and curious. “I will always love you and Stevie, but the Love I have for Max, it’s bigger than I am, it’s wanting her in every part of my life, every fiber of my being. That’s why I married her, because I can’t imaging breathing for one second without her.”

    Bucky Nodded his head, kissing your cheek and giving you a hug. You always knew exactly what he needed to hear.

___________

    Max had heard what you said, and was almost brought to tears. She owed you so much. Knocking on the other door, she went to see Steve while you spoke with Bucky.

    “Hey, Steve, right? I’m Max.” She said entering the room. Steve stood with a smile, giving Max a hug.

    “Finally, we get to meet. I hope this isn’t too weird for you, a stranger’s wedding and all.’ He laughed slightly, face turning pink.

    “No, thank you for letting me be here. Lila wanted to make sure, and I quote, ‘the princes wore their crowns’.” She held out the crown to Steve with a smile.

    “Please, help me put it on?” He sat back down on the bed, bowing his head for Max to situate the crown.

“Oh, good. He’s going to wear it.” You smiled coming into the room.

    “Why wouldn’t I when your lovely wife asked so nicely?” Steve mocked your surprise, pulling you into a hug once he could.

    “Well, Max, you’ve managed to smooze every person here.” You mused, weaving your hand around her waist and into her back pocket.

    “They were a piece of cake compared to you.” She teased leaning into you. “Now, I believe there’s a wedding to attend?”

[writingsbyshay67ss]

Back In Time

Characters: Reader x John Winchester x Sam x Dean

Summery: The boys had just lost their father because of the yellow eyed demon and you couldn't take watching them in so much pain. So, you do find a witch and get them do take you back in time to save their dad.

Warnings: None really

Reader- "Boys we need to talk."

Sam- "Yeah sure what's up?"

Reader- "Grab a drink I know your about to need it. You might want to take a seat too."

Dean- "Y, what's wrong?"

Reader- "I know you don't want or like talking about this but it needs to be addressed."

Dean- "If it's about our dad don't. I don't want to hear it."

Dean stands up and starts to walk away but you pull him back and push him back down on the table.

Reader- "Shut up and let me talk. You don't get to treat me like this. Not after everything we have been through. Not you."

They got quite and grabbed a drink.

Reader- "I hate seeing you this way. You don't look at each other and you won't even talk to me. I didn't do anything to you guys to deserve this. I know how I can fix this and I am going to do everything in my power to but I need you to know if I don't make it back--"

Sam- "Make it back?"

Reader- "Sam. If I don't make it back I don't want you guys to come for me."

Dean- "What are you talking about?"

Reader- "I need you to let me do this if you don't I will not come back to this bunker and help you guys."

Sam- "Why are you saying this to us? Knowing we will stop you."

Reader- "Because I know how to save you dad from the yellow eyed demon."

Dean- "John is dead. He isn't coming back and there isn't anything you could do about it."

Reader- "I can save him before it happens. I just need you guys to trust me."

Dean- "Y, you need to stop. Whatever you have planned or plan on doing stop. Don't make any deals, don't go after him alone, and do not get involved with any angels or demons. Do you hear me?"

Reader- "You boys are everything to me and you're the only family I have left. You boys need your father and if I can do anything to fix that I am going to."

Dean- "We are alive. We're going to be okay."

Sam- "We won't let you do this. You're going to get yourself killed."

Reader- "Please."

Dean- "No Y."

Reader- "Fine. I don't need your help and I don't want you to stop me. I really wish I didn't have to leave you like this. I love you. Bye boys."

You pull your hand out from behind you and slam it on the backside of the wall where you were standing and disappeared. The boys jump up and try to grab you before hand but lost you.

Sam- "Dean."

Dean- "I know."

 You reappear outside of the bar where John was hunting down Yellow eyes and you knew this was the place it would happen. You were early though. John was a littler younger and the boys were not to be found. You assumed this was the time before they found their dad. You walk in and see in John siting at the bar and take a seat next to him.

Reader- "Is this seat taken?"

John- "Well for you no, no it's not."

Reader- "Haha well thank you. I'm Y."

John- "John, nice to meet you. Let me get you a drink."

John calls over the bartender and orders a drink for you. Once you got your drink you took a sip the spun the glass as you prepared yourself for what you were about to say.

Reader- "I couldn't help but notice and I don't mean to pry or be weird--"

John- "Do we know each other?"

Reader- "Yes. I mean no."-- you sigh -- "I'm not from here. I know your boys."

John- "Who are you and what do you want with me or my boys?"

Reader- "You see John, I'm not from this time and your boys are vary special to me. They saved my life. You saved theirs but at a cost that they can not bare."

John- "I think it's time for you leave."

Reader- "I know how you die John and I know how to stop it."

John- "If I died for my boys lives then I knew what I was doing when I did it."

Reader- "Your hunting the monster that killed your wife. Mary."

John notices your face grow sad. He had no idea you were telling the truth or not.

John- "If you know what I am hunting then you need to tell me so I can do my job and protect my boys."

Reader- "See there's the catch. I can't help you kill yourself. I am going to tell you what you are up against and how you can kill him without having to take a one way ticket to hell."

John- "We're done here. I don't need your help or you sympathy."

Reader- "I love them."

John turns and looks at you before he walked away.

John- "You love them?"

Reader- "They're my family and they are the only thing I have left in this world but the time I came from..well they're not okay. You leaving them tore their world apart. I can't handle seeing the pain they are in."

John- "You really do care about them don't you?"

Reader- "Yes sir."

John sighs. "Okay."

Reader- "Okay."

John- "Tell me what I have to do."

Reader- "I don't know what year this is or how close you are to Azazel but do you have the cult?"

John- "Yes and I am vary close to getting him."

Reader- "I need you to do everything I say and maybe we both live to see our boys again. Now if this works and you live and I don't you be sure to tell them who I am and what I know they can do."

John- "We will both make it through this I will not let you die saving me to help them."

Reader- "If it gets you to them and you all live that's all that matters to me. Plus they wouldn't remember me anyways if I die in this time."

John- "Okay. When do I find this son of a bitch?"

Reader- "I see where Dean got the line from. Uhm, actually I can summon him. Bring him to us." 

John- "Great. Let's do this then."

You and John sit and talk out the plan before anything happens once you let him know how it needed to go he agrees and you begin setting up the summon ritual.

John- "Are you sure about this?"

Reader- "I couldn't be more sure about anything in my life right now then I do about this. Help me set this up. Here are the ingredients. Oil of Abrameli, lit candles positioned atop the Sigil of Azazel, also known as the Sigil of Saturn. Here we go. you ready?"

John- "As ready as I'll ever be."

Reader- "Attenrobendum eos, ad consiendrum, ad ligandum eos, potiter et solvendum, et ad, congregontum eos, 'coram me."

 Johns eye's widens when Azazel appears before him.

Azazel- "Oh my! I'm shocked at this unforeseen turn of events."

Reader- "It's over Azazel you lose."

Azazel- "And who might you be sweetheart I don't think we've met?"

Reader- "Let's just say the Winchester Boy's say hello and this is for their mother!"

You turn and open the side door that john was hiding behind and shoots Azazel but misses and the ring you set a trap for him cracks as he passes over it and attacks John.

Reader- "John!"

John drops The Cult and you go for it as he and Azazel continue to fight. You make your shot at him but a little to late. The bastard had already smoked his way into John making you think twice before shooting but you knew this was your chance he wouldn't think you would shoot him or vice versa.

Azazel- "Oh you wouldn't kill their poor helpless daddy would you? After all you did come all this way."

Reader- "John I am so sorry. You're going to be okay!"

You line your shot and shoot John in the right shoulder far from his heart and his veins burst with yellow light  making him fall to the ground and killing Azazel for good.

Reader- "John! Are you okay? John wake up! Come on you can't do this."

You lean on his chest and hear no heart beat so you try CPR and still nothing. Once you realized he was dead you got so mad you took your fist and slammed it onto his chest causing him to wake up.

John- "Damn, you didn't have to hit me so hard."

Reader- "Oh thank God! I thought you were dead for good."

John- "I'm tougher than I look."

Reader- "Come on let me help you up."

John- "You shot me. You seriously shot me."

Reader- "Well if its any consolation you can come home with me to see your boys. Most of the things that would come after you will be dead by then. Your going to be happy once you see them. Me on the other hand they're going to be so mad at me."

John- "You saved my life why would they be mad?"

Reader- "I shot you."

John stands up hugs you then tells you--

John- "Thank you for coming back for me and thank you for saving my life. How do yo--we get home to our boys?"

Reader- "Leave that to me."--You say smiling.

You pull what you need out of your bag and begin making the simple and say the chant brightening the room as you grab Johns arm and pull him close. You both vanish and reappear in front of the bunker.

John- "Well that wasn't pleasant. Where are we?"

Reader- "Home."

(So this was the perfect gif for this scene but it says "Cas"..Ignore that an imagine it says "Dad." Okay back to the story.)

Reader- "Are you ready to see them? I'm not sure if what we done changed the way their life went or what but we are about to find out. If so you need to prepare for the confusion if it didn't then they will be happy to see you and I alive."

John- "Yeah."

Reader- "Here we go."

Holding him up the two of you make your way into the bunker and from the look on their faces it is a surprise.

Sam- "Dad?"

John- "Hello boys."

Dean- "How did you?"

Reader- "So you remember me?"

Sam- "You've been gone for a year Y."

Reader- "Wow time flies. I was only gone a day or two."

Dean- "How did you get him?"

Reader- "Your dad? Or Azazel?"

Sam- "You killed Azazel?!"

Reader- "Yeah but how I done it doesn't matter. I'm just glad to be back home and with your dad here with you."

Dean- "Were you shot?"

Reader- "That was kind of my fault."

Dean- "You got him shot? You went to save him but you almost get him killed there too."

John- "She saved me. I'm here with you now."

Sam- "Thank you Y."

Reader- "He is going to need one of you to pull the bullet and sow him up. Oh and--"

You pull the cult out and lay it on the table.

Reader- "I have the cult."

Sam- "You not only bring our dad back but you managed to grab the cult from there too?"

Dean- "Awesome."

Reader- "Now we have two. You're welcome."

Sam- "So does that mean the gates of hell were never open?"

Reader- "I don't think we stopped it...it's weird that you guys can remember me and still remember your dad actually died. Maybe it was how I used the spell or what I used.."

Dean- "I don't even care right now! We have two cults. No one is going to expect that."

Reader- "No on is going to expect to see John again. If that even happened in this time or not."

Sam- "Come on let's get you cleaned up."

John turns to you and shoots a smile telepathically telling you thank you again.

[fuckyeahjamieandclaire]

Caitriona Balfe: The reunion was really special but, for me, also some of the Claire/Frank stuff. They’re both at fault and yet neither of them are at fault and, I think, that’s what was so beautiful to play. It was such a tragic demise of two people who used to be in love, but circumstances just changed everything. The Claire and Jamie story is so beautiful to play because it’s this heightened love and it feels so aspirational. But in the world of Claire and Frank, that feels like real life — not my real life, but it was just great to play because it’s just so tragic. I love tragedy apparently.

Sam Heughan: This season was my favorite for Jamie’s story. We started at Culloden, which as a Scotsman, is a really big part of our history. We have this amazing, certainly heightened, battle shown in a montage of his memories, and Jamie loses the person that he loves. He doesn’t expect to survive this battle. History’s told him that he will die there, so when he wakes in the battlefield, he really doesn’t want to live, and we see him progress through not wanting to be himself.

He assumes many different identities. He really has to come to terms with the loss of the person that he loves, and then find a way to live again. I think he finds a little bit of peace without Claire in Helwater, where he has this illegitimate son, but he can’t father him and it’s something that he’s always wanted to do.

There was just that really nice journey between the first four episodes of Jamie. He is living almost feral in the second episode. So, it was a really good acting challenge.

Then Sam shared his favorite moment for Caitriona and vice versa:

Caitriona Balfe: I thought Sam’s performance in Episode 1 was just so beautiful. You could tell that Culloden had such a deep connection for him. We had been building up to this for two years and you can see it. When he was doing his research or talking about it, you could see what it meant to him to be able to portray this, and when I watched it, because it’s so rare that I’m not there for the day where things are shot, it was such a treat watching Episode 1 and seeing all this footage as a viewer. I just thought his performance was so heartbreaking and so nuanced. It was really beautiful.

Sam Heughan: This season, we were apart for the first time and that was kind of strange. It was the only time we actually got to see things after it had been done. For me, when we say goodbye to Frank, that was huge. They were beautifully written scenes and Tobias and Caitriona really made this multi-layered relationship with it. Frank and Claire are trying to do the best that they can, but they know it’s not working. [He jokes] You did good work without me being there.

Ronald D. Moore: I have three favorite moments. When Jamie’s riding away from his son Willie and he won’t look back. That’s one of my favorites of the whole season. Geillis coming out of the pool of blood is No. 2, and then the look on Claire’s face when Jamie faints. It’s priceless. Like, “I’m so happy to see you. What did you just do?” Those are my three favorite moments.

Matthew B. Roberts: My favorite moment is after Jamie and Claire find Ian again and they just have a respite in the middle of this jungle, and Jamie takes his family in and hugs them just for a moment. You spend a beat there with them and take a deep breath after this big adventure over 13 episodes. It was important because he says, “All else aside, I just have to hold you guys, just for a minute.” I think that was the whole arc of the season. That was a special moment in our created jungle that we made in Cape Town. It was a fun moment to shoot, but I think they both did an amazing job in that scene.

Toni Graphia: Ron took one of mine because I also love when Jamie has to leave his son and ride away, and I loved the Bob Dylan “Hard Rain” that we played over it.

But I also loved Caitriona’s performance when she has to leave her daughter. I think it was really important to us to show the struggle of that. In the book, it’s kind of glossed over a little because she’s so excited to get back to Jamie, but in the writers’ room, we talked a lot about how no one would take that decision lightly to leave their child, even if your daughter’s a grown adult.

We thought it was very important that Claire gets the daughter’s permission and that Brianna’s okay with it. When Claire says to her daughter, “It’s not like an elevator you can get on and off. If I go, it’s like a death. I may not come back, and we may never see each other again.” I loved Caitriona’s performance there and how she walked out and looked back at the window. And in the cab, her face, because she knew what she was losing.

Even to gain Jamie, she was losing that. I don’t know if I could choose my love over my child. I think it’s a good dilemma to play and I’m really proud of how we played it.

[daresplaining]

Some Thoughts on Daredevil #600

    Here’s to 600 issues of Daredevil (not counting mini-series, annuals, etc.)! As usually happens at these landmark moments, Marvel and the DD creative team celebrated with a longer-than-normal issue, which sparked far-reaching changes to Matt Murdock’s world. 

    The situation set up by this story arc is a grim one. Wilson Fisk has been elected mayor of NYC. Matt has been keeping an eye on him (and vice versa) as Fisk’s deputy, but has struggled in his every attempt to sabotage him. However, he has recently discovered a crack in Fisk’s law-abiding facade: a meeting that he has planned with the city’s prominent street-level villains. Matt, as Daredevil, gathers together a gang of heroes to crash the party. 

Matt: “We protect this city, we fight in its streets, we are New York. And now we’ll take it back from Wilson Fisk. Mayor or not, he has to go down. We agree on that.”

    Colorist Matt Milla still hasn’t quite gotten the hair color memo, because poor Jessica has lost her brown hair. It also would have been nice to see Colleen in this team-up, since Misty is there. But these are minor complaints. In a series that restored Matt’s secret identity and thus symbolically isolated him from many of his friends, it’s a powerful gesture, in this climactic issue, to see him engaged in this kind of a team-up... even if most of the people involved still don’t know who he is. It’s especially nice to see Maya (Echo) here, back in action alongside her former friends. Since her resurrection early in the run she has had a few really touching moments of reconnecting with Matt, and we hope to see more of her as the series continues. 

    Matt has pulled off similar plans in the past, and he has taken down Wilson Fisk in some thoroughly delicious ways, but in this instance, it ends up not being that easy. And we like that-- Fisk has been one step ahead of Matt for this whole arc, and it would have felt anticlimactic for such a simple, faulty plan to bring that to an end. Rather than catching Fisk red-handed, the Kingpin doesn’t show. The collected villains turn on each other, the heroes swoop in to prevent any unnecessary deaths... and then the cops arrive. 

Matt: “Damn. Damn. So much for the plan. Need to get down there, before someone gets-- Wait. NYPD. But that’s... Oh, no.”

    This scene, as exciting as it is, features a reappearance of the less-than-stellar Garney/Milla radar sense, which we’ve complained about before. 

    There has always been inconsistency, but generally, modern depictions of the radar sense don’t allow it to pierce solid objects. Here, we see Matt tracking the activity in the restaurant from outside, a blatant break with tradition that we’re not huge fans of. What makes even less sense is the arbitrary use of multiple colors. Since the radar depiction is a visual stand-in for non-visual perception, the different colors must represent something... but what? Texture? And in the panel where Matt notices the cops, his radar seems to be picking up on flat images and uniform details that he should have no way of perceiving. It’s a nonsensical, misleading approach to the radar sense, and a tragic departure from Paolo Rivera’s crosshatching design, which was used to great effect in volumes 3 and 4. We understand each creative team wanting to put their unique stamp on the comic, but come on... if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

    The police swoop in and grab the heroes and villains alike. We learn-- in a neat twist that, again, fits with Fisk’s behavior in the issues leading up to this climax-- that the proposed meeting was a trap, designed to round up the city’s crime bosses and get them arrested. As Matt has done again and again in this arc, he assumed nefariousness on Fisk’s part, and ended up shooting himself in the foot. While we know that Fisk is still a bad guy, and probably has all sorts of things up his sleeve, it’s always fun to see him play the good guy, just to see how cleverly he constructs the facade. And even more compellingly, Matt’s failure to accurately read his nemesis backfires on his friends. 

Wesley: “There were heroes there, too. Jessica Jones, Danny Rand, Maya Lopez, Luke Cage, Misty Knight and Marc Spector. Even Spider-Man.”

Fisk: “Spider-Man... and what is his name? Who is he?”

Wesley: “We don’t know. Just before the cops grabbed him, he sprayed that webbing of his around his neck. Sealed it up tight, like glue. They can’t get his mask off.”

    (Oh, Peter. He’s so... experienced at this secret identity thing.)

    It will be interesting to see how long they actually end up in jail, given the events of the rest of the issue. Hopefully, someone is babysitting Dani...

    One of our favorite moments in this issue is a little reversal. While Matt has failed again and again to properly read his opponent, Fisk knows exactly how Daredevil works, and where to find him. It’s a level of familiarity between hero and arch-nemesis that is highly compelling to us. It’s these kinds of details that make for the best hero/villain relationships. It also gives Matt a chance to do a badass pose on Fisk’s roof, which is always a plus. 

Fisk: “It’d be just like him. Come along, Wesley. Let’s go up and say hello.”

Matt: “Fisk.”

    There have been so many iconic fights between these two over the years that it’s increasingly difficult to do anything new with them. This fight is certainly a good one... but then, they all are, and this tussle probably won’t go down in DD history as one of their memorable battles. But it’s still highly enjoyable, and is enhanced by Soule’s excellent dialogue, which highlights the core of their conflict, and emphasizes just how long they’ve been having these fights. 

Fisk: “If my name weren’t Wilson Fisk, you wouldn’t have batted an eye. You’d be cheering that the mayor had found a way to get Owlsley and the others off the streets.”

Matt: “But you are Wilson Fisk. You are the Kingpin. And you’re the enemy of everything that matters about this city.”

Fisk: “No. I’m not. But I’m sick of trying to explain that to you.”

    But as was foreshadowed throughout this arc, Matt isn’t allowed a clean win. Fisk hits him with a sledgehammer so hard that it’s amazing he’s able to stand afterward, and then goes off to tell a crowd of adoring supporters how great he is. Again, we are given a look at Fisk’s faked (probably?) duality, as Soule is exploring it-- the idea of him playing the hero while still being a villain. This isn’t a new Kingpin concept, of course, but it remains a good one, and an engaging way of playing with the character’s complexity.

    Partway through the speech, the Hand arrive and shoot Fisk full of arrows, thus kickstarting the next story arc. The Hand are really neat when used well, so we’re excited to see where Soule takes them, particularly given their new connection to Blindspot. However, they are not this issue’s big surprise. We learn, as Matt is carted away by the cops, that with Fisk now out of the picture, the mayorship falls to his deputy...

Steve: “Matt Murdock is the mayor of New York City.”

    (Heck yeah!)

    This is really exciting, not only because of its implications for Matt’s life, but also because it has been a long time coming. Kesel wanted to do it back in the 90s, but the idea was shot down by editorial. Bendis teased the possibility, but it never actually happened, thanks to the events of the rest of his run. 

Guy: “They’re going to ask you to be the Democratic nominee for Mayor of New York City.”

Matt: “Huh.”

Daredevil vol. 2 #56 by Brian Michael Bendis and Alex Maleev

    And Waid’s speculative story in the 50th anniversary issue suggested that Matt had been/will become the mayor of San Francisco at some point, but we don’t get to actually see him in action. 

Foggy: “They remembered him from his original tour of duty here, when he and the Black Widow made the scene. [...] So when he came back, they had your pop running for office in no time. Busy boy, he was. Made lots of enemies.”

Daredevil vol. 4 #1.5, “The King in Red” by Mark Waid and Javier Rodriguez

    But we are finally getting Mayor Matt Murdock, and we cannot wait to see how that works out for him. 

    The issue’s secondary plot thread is possibly even more interesting than the Matt/Fisk shenanigans, because it’s all new. This thread follows Sam’s final battle with Muse... who is essentially a Blindspot rogue now, rather than a DD one. Their relationship is fascinating, with Sam’s quest to understand the nature of his own heroism/lack thereof paired with Muse’s frenetic lack of morality. They are both raw, emotional characters, and their interactions in this issue are stunning. We’re gonna miss Muse.     

Sam: “I need to understand, Muse. I need this to make sense. Why do you do what you do? Why do you hurt people? Why do you kill? Why?”

Muse: “You know why, Blindspot. It’s the same reason you want to kill me right now. It makes you better it makes you strong it shows them your power it says something it means something it solves your problems it gives you control you’re big they’re small it’s art it’s art IT’S ART!”

    This fight also hints that Sam’s connection with the Hand is far from over... and provides a glimpse at how his time training with them may have changed him.

Beast: “You know my power. The power of the Beast. I will give it to you once again. Just reach out... and take it.”

    While Sam refuses to kill for the Beast, this relationship will likely continue into the next arc-- which appears to be Hand-centric. Sam’s continuing evolution has been full of surprises, and we’re eager to see where this story takes him. All-in-all, this issue didn’t stand out as one of the most earth-shattering Daredevil stories ever told, but it was still thoroughly enjoyable, and did a great job of setting up some very exciting things in the future. 

    As an extra treat, the issue also includes a short, Foggy-centric story called “They Also Serve” by Christos Gage, Mike Perkins, and Andy Troy. This is merely the latest in a long line of Foggy-centric stories that celebrate his relationship with Matt. And there’s not a dang thing wrong with that, because they never get old. Matt and Foggy’s friendship exists at the very core of the comic, and its power and poignancy only increases as the years go by. Give us all of the Foggy-centric retrospectives. We will get misty-eyed every time. 

    We have only one complaint about this story, which is that Foggy... doesn’t really sound like Foggy for parts of it. 

Foggy: “This is gonna be so great! You have no idea how lucky you are, Murdock, ‘cause Foggy Nelson just happens to be the finest wingman in the history of wingmen. You just stand there looking handsome, strong, stoic... with a hint of tragedy, while I draw ‘em in with my oratorical virtuosity. Between my silver tongue, your looks, and the whole blind thing, you’re gonna need that cane to ward off the babes.”

    (Who... who are you, and what did you do with the real Foggy?!) 

    In fact, he sounds just like MCU Foggy. Which maybe shouldn’t have surprised us, because Christos Gage was also a writer for the first season of the Netflix show.  

    Despite this bit of weirdness, the issue is a nice look back at moments in Matt and Foggy’s friendship. It’s a trip down continuity lane, emphasizing just how long they’ve known each other and how much they’ve been through together.  

    All told, it’s a pleasant way to close out the issue, particularly given the rocky state of Matt and Foggy’s friendship throughout this run. 

[lukajoyelliott]

2. 

One of the references we had to look at for one of the briefs, there was this podcast I really enjoyed called “Conversations With People Who Hate Me”. Dylan Marron the creator often gets many hate messages because of his social justice videos he makes and so in the first episode of this series he speaks with Chris, someone who ridiculed him. Both Dylan and Chris had no idea how the conversation would turn out by the end of it but to especially Chris’s surprise, they are actually able to agree on some things and have an actual debate as opposed to ripping each other apart. I do think to myself if this would have happened had Dylan not been the one to create this open space for to very different people to come together. This idea of two opposing people and unfamiliar conversations or conversations they would not have had before and what that looks like interests me. Also, so does massively this idea of journey, interviews and experiences. My grandma grew up in Jamaica and travelled here when she was 21 and has lived here since but goes back to visit from time to time. I don’t want to speak for her at this point but there are definitely many things and practices she still does that stem directly from where she was born. There are familial experiences that she has not been able to shake, nor should she. However simultaneously there are aspects of her which are a direct result of how she has been treated and her experiences since being in England. I spoke recently to her brothers’ wife who jokingly talked about how her home is a sauna in Gloucester where she lives, as she still resonates and craves that heat of the Caribbean where the home is always warm.

In a wider sense, my grandma came just after the mass movement of the Windrush generation. I definitely want to look massively into this movement as the epitomy of stories of Caribbean people invited to a place to work but coming to somewhere completely unfamiliar and so different, especially after being sold expectations of what this place would be like. One of my favourite books is ‘The Lonely Londoners’ by Sam Selvon which is a depiction of people who would have come over from the Caribbean to London and how they were forced to adapt and survive in alienating and unfamiliar London. They had to create spaces whereby they could talk about how alienated they felt but also rituals they had to recreate in a different way that they would have back in the Caribbean to regain that sense of familiarity. The amazing Small Axe series by Steve McQueen also explores this in his narratives, also in such a visceral sense. In addition, this other production I watched the recording of, “Small Island”, which is all about this journey into an unfamiliar place and the alienation - contrast between familiarity and also not.

There are many theatre references that I feel relate to what I want to explore. There is this production I saw called ‘Nine Night’ and it is all about the celebration that happens when someone in Caribbean culture dies, thus there are these nine consecutive nights of celebrations. That is something that was so unfamiliar to me that I did not really know about. I believe it would be integral to look into the importance of spoken word, songs, diaries, interviews, voice recordings photojournalism articles and the like to gain insight. The South African artist William Kentridge uses many of these formats to create his performative pieces of untold experiences. Furthermore, there is a book called ‘In The Kitchen’, filled with many short essays about food and meals - all the authors are from quite different backgrounds and heritages so it gives you such an interesting and warm insight into what is that different things in different cultures. Lots of things overlap and are essentially are quite similar but the preparation or ingredients are different. There are also really nice examples of things that are completely different that get confused if you are perhaps not from that culture and vice versa, thus has a big human element to it.

[monooi]

Watched S7E6, now: predictions for S7E7 & S8

This is my first time posting my entire thoughts about what I think of the TV Show Game of Thrones (because I treat the show and the books as two separate things) and what directions it is going… I’m not sure if I should warn, but I’m a Jonsa shipper (and I will do my best to not let my shipper goggles get in the way). But if you don’t like it, don’t read it! And my love, don’t spread hate! My words are not meant to hurt you if you’re a Jonerys shipper, I’m a fan of this series just like you, I just have different opinions and that is OK! That is beautiful, that is what makes us unique! So refrain from hate, because in my blog hatred is answered with love! NO HATE SHALL ENTER THIS FORTRESS OF LOVE AND EMPATHY.

SO;

This season there is a major plot undergoing right under everyone’s nose, it’s easy to see, but it is also easy to ignore it if you’re watching the show with tendencious eyes. The juxtaposition between Cersei, Daenerys and Sansa’s temperament, their beliefs and their perceptions about how to exercise a position of power (because so far the only “true” Queen is Cersei Lannister).

UNDERNEATH THE READ MORE WE HAVE SPOILERS, INFORMATION FROM THE LEAKS AND SOME HEAVY PREDICTIONS, SO BEWARE:

As far as the leak goes, apparently the “round table” down in KL is happening (Danaerys Targaryen, Jon Snow, Euron Greyjoy, Tyrion Lannister, Jaime Lannister, Cercei Lannister and Brienne of Tarth will gather and as much as I would love to, I don’t think Cleganebowl is happening this season, we’ll see them fight, but not that soon, S8 will be worth it, cleganebowl I’m ready, ready like I’ve never been before). So, Cersei will be Cersei and they will all underestimate her (if Sansa was there, she’d see through her façade, just sayin’) and even though she will agree to help defeat the NK, once they all leave to the North, she will tell Jaime about her plans to actually not send reinforcements and let them all die before doing something. Jaime will abandon her and join the North). Euron’s also jumping off that boat once he learns that the WWs can’t swim and goes running back to the Iron Islands (I’m hoping that next season we’ll have this parallel plot where Theon will try to infiltrate the IL to get his sister back, she might die and it can all come down to Theon having to defeat his uncle and actually assume the title that he so much abbhores of King of The Iron Islands and the heir of House Greyjoy, most likely the last, if this happens it’s only happening on S8). In episode 7 we’ll have “epicincestuousboatsex” and afterwards we’ll also have a shot at Rhaegar and Lyanna’s secret wedding ceremony in Dorne (AND D&D THIS IS MY LAST WARNING: IF YOU DO NOT ADDRESS ELIA MARTELL, RAGE WILL BEFALL YOU). And this will be the end of S7. Also in S7E7 I think we’ll be seeing some apologizing on Arya’s part to Sansa and also according to the leaks LF’s going to be killed. So Stark family will unite again, this time much stronger than before. I personally think that Brienne and Arya will become Sansa’s personal bodyguards and who knows, maybe part of her Queensguard (if Jon ends up abandoning the North or giving up his claim, but we’ll talk about that later in the post).

S8 will begin with everyone gathering in Winterfell, just like in season 1 (oh, look at the irony) and we’ll first have two, maybe three confrontations: Jon’s parentage and Danaery’s character put through question. D&D have passed two opportunities of this knowledge making itself shine in the light: first one) Jorah did not mention that the person who saved him was called Samwell Tarly who belonged to the Nights Watch, that could’ve happened right after Jon mentioned Jeor, why is that? right? second one) Archmaester Marwyn had the opportunity to mention that Sam’s father and brother were burned by the Targaryen girl, but he didn’t, because he didn’t have the heart to deliver such message. That can only lead to one thing: this will all come to light in a very much expected meeting in Winterfell, and It’ll come down all at once. “They’ll see you for what you are” said Jon Snow to Danaerys on a boat back to the North and so they shall, just not like he is seeing whilst projecting his savior and Queen. The third one is Bran x Jaime meeting and the truth coming out (of her well to shame mankind and Jaime Lannister, this would be a nice scene for him to swear allegiance to house Stark forever and vowing to protect the Stark children together with Brienne). All of this might be interrupted or put aside because of the arrival of the WWs and their Ice Dragon. They will all fight alongside, they still all have a common enemy: the dead and the living will win the war, we’ll have many casualties and the fact that Jon bent the knee will not come to light just yet. Even if Jon is smitten, he knows that the people in the North will not accept a Targaryen Queen, not even him when his true parentage is revealed (so I’m not sure if the “common folk” and secondary lords will know about this fact until after the Winter War). When the Winter War ends Cersei will be seen as a traitor and she will be sentenced to death by all, I think Jaime will call it upon him to do the duty and the Hound might accompany him on this one, and he will take the Mountain CLEGANEBOWL AT LAST as Jaime takes Cersei’s life. If this is public or behind curtains, I don’t know. But I’m 90% sure that Jaime will kill Cersei. Daenerys will call upon Jon’s word about him kneeling, Jon’s parentage (if not public) will become public.

(Speaking a little about Cleganebowl, I think that Sandor will win against his brother Gregor and he will be spared of being killed by Arya with Sansa’s intervention, I really didn’t want to bring the books up in this post, regarding the altered memory that Sansa has of Sandor kissing her, so I’m just going to point out that he saved her before, so she will save him this time, I also believe that if Sandor survives everything, he will serve Sansa).

The Northern Lords will not support Daenerys Targaryen’s claim to the throne, I repeat, the Northern Lords will not support a Targaryen’s claim to the throne, nor will they give up their Independent Kingdom of the North, they don’t want a southron ruler anymore, they don’t want a Targaryen ruler anymore, they are different, their politics are different, their beliefs are different, THEY WANT AN INDEPENDENT NORTH WITH THEIR TRUE KING/QUEEN WHOSE NAME IS STARK. “The North Remembers” is something so often repeated that I really doubt the opposite.

Like I said in my post at /r/freefolk, we’ve been so focused on projecting either Ned or Rhaegar in Jon’s character, but what if he’s more like Lyanna than we think? “Everything that happens will be something that you’ve seen before.” said Petyr Baelish, what if it comes down to Jon having to make the same choice as Lyanna? But this time, the right choice is not by running away with a Targaryen Queen, it is standing beside his family and doing his duty as a Stark (he is 50% Stark and he did grow up there) and as King in the North. I think that there is a possibility that after all these wrong choices and especially because Jon is the kind of person he is, he could abdicate from the Northern throne, declare Sansa Stark as his Queen and fight her war. I like how a war between Queen Daenerys and Queen Sansa (fire in one side and ice in the other, just like the Winter War, but this time we’ll be rooting, at least I know that I will, for ice and not fire) sounds poetic. Especially with Jon who is a son of ice and fire in midst of that.

Danaerys will be furious and I think this is the point where we’ll get Targbowl and Dany will be proven The Princess That Was Promised (since thanks to her the living won the war against the dead), I mean her figure is extremely Messianic on her own and Jon will become Azor Ahai once he slays her. (  I’ve always loved the theory that Jaime is Azor Ahai, but I’ve started considering otherwise. Jon might or might not die in this confrontation, but I have my suspicions that he’ll die once more, only to be brought back by Melissandre who’ll die, so this will be his last life. I do think that the dragons will not harm Jon, so he’ll be the only person capable of killing Daenerys. We’ll have more casualties and treasons, I think this is the time for Varys to shine and I also strongly believe that Tyrion will change sides. Once they all get to Winterfell and he observes the difference between Sansa, Cersei and Daenerys himself, he is the only character to have been close to all three of them and I think that this is something major.

We’ll have a question then, about who will sit on the Iron Throne and I see some possibilities: Jon will have proven himself as King in the North, but with Daenery’s demise as well as Cersei, that leaves the Iron Throne empty. I don’t think either Jon or Sansa want to take that chair, nor live down south, so I think that Tyrion might end up with that position and the North an independent kingdom. If Sansa is Queen in the North, I still think that Jon would want no claim to the throne and it would end up with Tyrion anyway. I would love to see him with Varys as his hand, but I’m p-r-e-t-t-y sure Vary’s will die next season.

I can see Sansa and Jon getting married, especially to appease the Northern lords. Now I am a shipper and as you can see I have avoided speaking about Jon’s feelings regarding Sansa throughout the post, but I’ve always been the kind of person to leave the best to the end. My perception is that Jon had some conflicting feelings regarding Sansa and we saw that developing in S6 and it was put on hold this S7, Jon is very honorable and whatever it is that he felt was never explored by himself because he always saw Sansa as a sister and vice-versa (I really believe that the same happened in her case). It will be beautiful to see their interactions in midst of everything and Jon perceiving Sansa in this new light, as his cousin.

I’m not sure who will actually die aside from Varys, Melissandre, Daenerys and Cersei. But I think I’ll be surprised and it will indeed be bittersweet and satisfying at the same time (D&D did mention that it would be). So what do you guys think? I would love to hear opinions and critiques, I love to see through different perceptions and read different arguments, or a different light in the same argument. I also wanted to point out that GRRM has said that the downfall of House Targaryen would be their incest, if Jon and Daenerys got married and his magical seed flowed through her and she got magically pregnant it would make him quite contradictory and I strongly believe that’s not the case, so there’s no need trying to convince me otherwise, tho if you try I will answer it, because it’s always okay to discuss! Just saying that you won’t change my mind.

Jonsa is endgame guys.

And even if by some chance it isn’t (and both Daenerys and Jon dies), SANSA IS ENDGAME, STARKS ARE ENDGAME!