#she is the only reason he exists in the cm universe

[starry-bite]

will is so pathetic wet cat in love with his wife this man would do anything for her

[arcadekitten]

With the new year on the horizon and 10 completed games under my belt, I thought it might be fun to go through some projects that didn't make the cut and I ended up shelving for one reason or another! (It's only like, 2 of 'em but still)

The first is a game about Theodore and Zapara. While Tricks N Treats was my first finished + published RPGmaker game, I originally started testing things out with RPGM shortly after Cemetery Mary's release. The following game was meant to take place in the CM universe.

It was my first time using RPGMaker & it shows. It was also being made in VXAce, hence why proportions are so different from all my current projects. VXace uses 32x32 tiles whereas MV + above use 48x48. Trying to work within these limitations was a bit tricky for me

The (gif) footage you see above is all that exists of the game now(I didn't even screen record LOL). Back when my old laptop kicked it the files for this game went with it and I never cared to back them up. I don't consider it a hard loss though as by that point I had already moved on to bigger more polished projects and I didn't see myself returning to it any time soon(or at all).

The plot of the game was that Theo woke up in the night to hear Zapara leaving their apartment. When he goes to look for and finds her, she seems to want to avoid going back to the apartment for reasons she won't share. By the end of the game she confesses that she had a really realistic nightmare and she's scared if she goes back it will come true. Theo reassures her that he would never let her nightmare happen in reality, and so the two go back together. In the morning, we see Crowven texting them. They're making plans to go out to a club, when Crowven asks if his cousin can come along--tying it into CM.

I think if I made this game, it would've been cute, and maybe I'll even do something with the premise for a larger game, but I don't see myself trying to start this as a solo project again.

The next game that was shelved from when I was learning Unity & Adventure Creator. Patrons had seen previews it! I started this game as a tool to help me learn the programs, and it got shelved when I felt it was no longer teaching me but instead adding weight to my back.

Unlike the previous game, this is a game I COULD see myself starting again--probably using the same method I'm using for WISHMAKER in RPGM. This game is called "Dreary Elaine", and it's a bit interesting!

(ignore the reference PNG of Elaine here HAHA) This game, like WISHMAKER, is a point-and-click adventure game, where you play as the titular Elaine as she delivers party invitations to her neighbors.

The thing that makes Dreary Elaine interesting is that it is actually an offshoot of my other work! Mary Anta is a character that exists in the fictional world of Noisrev. Dreary Elaine is Mary's favorite childhood book series. A fictional world within a fictional world!

As I said above, this is a game that has the potential to come back one day--I'm just not currently sure when. But exploring the Elaine-verse is something that always appeals to me and who knows! Maybe I'll represent it more in my work going forward.

I think that's all for now? I hope it was fun to read through and I'm excited to have more (finished) games and art for you soon! ❤️

[thelegendofchocolate]

König HC part 1/? - Name/Background

Alright! I've fully committed to the cringe! Imma share with y'all my König hcs let's go!

Part 1 - Name/Background

First off!

General info:

Name: Konrad

Nationality: Austrian-German

6'10, almost 6'11 (209 cm)

Former Foster Kid

Has Albinism

König was born to an Austrian mother and German father. His mother was from a very traditional catholic family, and when she got pregnant because of an affair/premarital sex, she wouldn't have an abortion and she felt she couldn't "bring such shame upon her family," so she gave him up for adoption/foster care.* His father never knew his "fling" became pregnant, so he had no idea of König's existence.

*König was born in 1995 in my au, but the laws regarding anonymous births and/or baby-boxes/safe-haven laws in Austria and Germany don't line up with this, with anonymous births and baby hatches becoming legal in Austria in 2001 and 2000 respectively, and in Germany 2013 and 2000* (Not legally, but they did exist), so forgive my historical and legislative inaccuracies. If you can't suspend your disbelief that these laws/measures existed earlier in the cod universe, you could say that when at the hospital, when the doctors asked his mom to write information so that König could access it at 18, in the case of many closed adoptions, his mother just dipped while they were in the bathroom or something...But are you really that hung up on cod headcanon legal inaccuracies? Moving On!

His mother really did love him, and she feels incredibly guilty, but she felt that raising him in an environment that would condemn his existence would not be great. König is my au also has albinism*, which would add another layer to this, with many who would associate his albinism as some sort of curse/retribution for his mother's sin, which is totes uncool y'all. All König knows is that his mom was incredibly religious, and named him accordingly. König has a complicated relationship with religion, with it both being one of the only connections he has to his birth parents, but also as the reason why they rejected him (we'll get more into his beef with god later, I went to catholic school, I live to project my religious trauma on characters I love).

*part 2/3, will expand on this

König's full name is Mathias Gunther Konrad Bauer né Mustermann. Now let's get into the explanations (with edgy commentary from König on each of them). First off, the reason why Konrad is bolded, is because it's his rufname, which is how names work in germany (according to my mediocre research). Basically you commonly have 2+ first names in germany, but your middle/second/third name is the one you actually go by. eg. Amalie Emmy Noether, this is her full name, but she goes by Emmy, and in legal docs, the rufname is underlined, so you can tell which one it is. Konrad's mother decided to follow more german naming conventions because of his german parentage from his father's side, and because her family was also very old-school. Ok! Now onto name meanings, König knows all of the meanings for his names because he has spent very long obsessing over them, because they're one of the few things he knows about his birth parents, and he finds many of meanings very ironic, and kind of sad,( imagine his commentary is from teenage/preteen König who is straight up not having a good time, and is very edgy)

Mathias means "gift of god," ("Wow! If I was such a gift, why did you use the gift receipt, mom")

Gunther means "warrior," ("I'm the epitome of bravery...", said in reference to his severe social anxiety)

Konrad means "Brave counsel," ("Same as the previous one, no comment)

Mustermann is the german equivalent of Doe, as in John/Jane Doe, and because people didn't know his parent's last name, this is what he ended up with. The né is in reference to the fact that it is no longer his last name, which is explained in the next one.

Bauer means "farmer, neighbor, fellow citizen", and is König's last name once he gets adopted at the age of 17 (and a half). We'll get to the Bauers in part 2!

[francenemolove]

Mated To You

Synopsis:

I think you need to get here Y/N, she’s been acting violently! No one can come near her. We all tried but she kept mumbling want her – want her. You were the one that took her here so I believe you’re the one she’s asking for muttered Jisoo exasperatedly.

Thanks for telling me Soo, I’ll be there in five with that said she took her keys and ran to her car to get to the sanctuary.

Warnings/Tags: Hybrid Universe, Snake hybrid Yoonji, Shemale Reader, Female Yoonji, Blood, Violence, Trauma, Angst, Tsundere Yoonji, Baby girl Yoonji, Caring and loving Reader, Fluff, Explicit Smut.

--

The room smelled of booze,cigarettes and sweat. Oh what will Yoonji give for her to breath fresh air than smelling the same old shit everyday. She should get use to it since she’s been in this place ever since she was 14, and yet she can’t. Her human nose can’t tolerate much of the smell, then how much more her animal side?

Hey! Snakey! Get up! Your turn to make us money the man said grossly towards her cell. What a disgusting piece of shit she thought.

Without a word she got up from where she was and went through her cell door. The moment she stepped out she held the man’s hand and hissed. He attempted to slap her ass for a long time now, but given she was a hybrid her instincts and reflexes were much more keen making her alert in situations such as this one.

The man chuckled while he ripped his hand away from her and said You’re still saving yourself for someone that doesn’t exist? What made you think that your gonna get out of here Slut!? If I were you, you reserve that hostility of yours and finally accept the fact that this was home, this is home and this will be home forever until you die. then left while laughing maniacally.

Hearing that from him made every hair in Yoonji’s body rise, she’s not stupid and that she knows she will not be leaving this hellhole soon but at least she still hopes that someday by what miracle and mercy the God’s above will finally let her live in peace.

--

Ever since Yoonji was bought from the black market she was brought to a world so cruel. Her new owner is notorious for his multiple chain of underground fight clubs and drug and sex den. He’s in this business for so long and no matter how vile this man was, he wasn’t taken away specially since his clients are elite people wanting to waste their money on shitty things. She actually don’t know who’s much worse, her owner for operating and managing this shit or those rich snobs just wanting a good time from other people’s suffering – oh wait a hybrids suffering. There were so many nights that she thought and hoped of just being an animal than being half man and half freak. Then maybe people will be kinder to her. Because she’d heard people loving her kind but of course when they only eat, sleep and slither. Not someone like her who needs to eat, sleep, talk, think, be cared for and most of all loved.

--

It’s the third round and there was only a minute left. A lot of people were getting frustrated because they bet a lot of money on the dog hybrid that she was fighting with. Well for the record they should not have underestimated Yoonji. She was the most prized hybrid by her master for a reason. People always expected her to be a joke whenever they send in big and bulky hybrids as her opponent just to be surprised that with just a couple of punches and kicks they are knock out (Well she can’t blame them. She is tiny, only around 124 cm). This always make her opponents chuckle, they always mistake her for a cat hybrid because of her small face, cat like eyes and tiny nose but a quick look at her back and see her slim, scaly and tiny tail they will know. A lot wanted to have her as their pet but Yoonji always shows them that she can’t be messed with. She is feisty and lethal, as she is part snake and not just any normal snake she’s a Namaqua dwarf adder. This kind of snakes are known to be the smallest yet the most venomous of all snakes. They have retractable fangs that they use to trick their prey into thinking that they are harmless, but bites them when they have locked on their target. Yoonji on the other hand despite how deadly her venom is, never used that on any of her opponents because at the end of the day they are all just being used in the underground arena for rich assholes satisfaction. They are all just willing to do everything to survive.

--

 The sound of her opponent knocked out on the ring was the only thing she heard and then the burst of shouting and applause filled the place. She won once again making that her 36th win.

You never fail to amaze me Ji he whispered on her ear.

She was sitted in the corner of her cage. You might think that since she was the champion and the boss's favorite money maker, she was treated like royalty. Wrong, she was treated worse of all worse. The man made an agreement with her the first time she won. The agreement was about her being his regular fighter and his slut. He promised to give her all the money and pleasure she can ever ask for but Yoonji didn't like the idea of it and the next thing the man knew was pain and a bloody nose. Yoonji broke his nose. She was beaten near to death, but he realized that he can't get rid of her right away since she can make him a lot of money. She was not given food for a week. Her cuts were infected. Only after a week of her being kept in her cage did he made her Crack and obey him that she was going to be his Ultimate fighter. Because no matter how badly they wanted to fuck her and make her his slut he learned that it was something Yoonji can never give. In Yoonji’s mind her chastity was the only thing she can offer her mate. If ever she meets them someday. It was silly, she knows but a tiny part of her hoped that she will get out of this place and live her life free and happy with her mate.

 --

 Can I clean up now? she queried.

Sure, sure sweetheart, a moment. I just wanted to say that .. since you're a lady now, I believe that it's about time that you get breeded so that you can produce champion fighters in the future too.

What an imbecile, she thought.

And what made you think that all throughout the years that you've asked me to be your slut did I say yes? she hissed.

You were this close bitch. He snarled nearing her. (Telling her how close she was to loosing the fight that happened awhile ago). This close to loosing, I can't afford that. I can't afford having a dead hybrid. So sweetheart, if ever you die and you gave me your children then at least I have something to sell and tell people that their fucking mother was a freak but at least she was a fucking great fighter. He persuaded.

Do you get me? he questioned.

Maybe you really lost your brain a long time ago that's why you can't comprehend the bullshit you just told me. She spoke coldy.

Raising his hand he slapped her hard that made her head face the other way.

You bitch! not because you've been making me money it means that you can just talk shit about me!. I think you need to remember that I'm the only one keeping you alive. He said while rolling his sleeves.

 --

Y/N can you hear me?

Yes. She whispered.

We have our men inside the building now, they've seen the cages where they keep all of them. But the other one, we can't find her.

You mean the one who just fought? she whispered once again.

Yeah, but don't worry. Jimin's going to look for her and we're going to take care of her.

Alright, she sighed.

 --

Her vision was spinning, everything was painful. After the beating she got from him, she was left in her cage again with no food, water or things to disinfect her wounds. She wanted to just keep her mouth shut at least that way she was given the things she needed first before being locked up again. But if she didn’t talk, then her master might assume that she’s going to agree to be a breeding machine.

She laid down and thought about the scent she smelt a couple weeks ago. The smell made her feel so relaxed it smelt like mint with a hint of citrus. Oh what she can give to smell it again, she thought. It was the reason why she have so much hope these days because she smelt her mate. And the moment she stepped on the ring, she smelt her again.

Overwhelmed with the pain she felt from being beaten, she closed her eyes and slept.

--

Big Man Choi is notorious. He’s known all over Korea, since he owns a lot of drug den and underground fighting rings. He’s someone that the T.A.L.R.H (The Association of Legal Rights for Hybrids) are so eager to imprison. No matter how vile and cruel he was the government took a blind eye on his case. Well, people are fickle minded. They are shown an ample amount of fortune that Big Man Choi has, and they cave in right away. Years gone by people became humane and understood that hybrids are not to be treated unfairly. People grow to care, love and fight for hybrids ever since the first human was bound and mated to a hybrid did they learn that we are all equal. Living in this world hoping and yearning to have a happy, satisfying and peaceful life.

And with this change, The Association of Legal Rights for Hybrids was made. It was made by the President because he wanted to prove to his daughter that he accepted the hybrid mate his daughter was given. It was a joke at first since not a lot of people was open with the idea of being mated to a hybrid but when this movement was created a lot of human – hybrid couples were brave enough to show that they are happy with their lives and that they should really make a change.

The Association was also headed by an intelligent, charming and respectable man named Kim Seokjin, who’s sole goal was to make Hybrids be part of society without fear for their future. Just a couple of years a lot of hybrid breeding facilities, drug dens, pleasure houses and underground fighting rings were shut down. Their owners and every man that partake in hybrid injustice was sent to prison. All hybrids that were rescued were rehabilitated, given the resources to have proper education, documents to prove their identity. Most hybrids now are living their best lives, working in their field of expertise. It’s such an amazing thing really but despite all of the great things happening, that’s just half of the population of hybrids and there are more yet to rescue.

--

After so many years, the T.A.L.R.H have intel about Big Man Choi. They will finally bring this man down. There was even a warrant that this man should be killed on sight if ever he tries to escape. Lawyer Kim Namjoon, did a great job in persuading the government and almost all people to want this man to finally perish.

An agent was assigned to gain more intel about the biggest underground fighting ring that Big Man Choi owned. It was difficult to get in because ever since humans learn to love hybrids, Choi’s people have to be meticulous and investigative about every client they will have. But there will always be a way through it.

Y/L/N Y/N was the person assigned. Other than the fact that she was an Elementary Teacher she was also the Captain of the H.P.F (Hybrid Protection Force). The moment she gained intel on how to enter the grounds, she made sure that she fits in with the rich snobs who are all looking for a fun time. She made them trust them, made friends and made unbreakable bonds as what they thought. They didn’t know that it will bring them to their demise.

--

The place was so loud, everyone cheering and betting on the hybrids fighting in the ring. It’s not a new scene specially in Y/N’s line of work. With her disguise she got in acting like one of the elites. It’s her second time in this specific underground ring and it’s her second time seeing the petite hybrid won another fight. The first time she saw her she won without any scratch on her but this time her opponent was unfairly larger than her, bulkier too. Despite how big and strong the other hybrid was, you can see that the petite one was an experienced fighter. She won again of course but she got of the ring with a bloody eyebrow and a busted lip. Y/N was expecting to see the petite hybrid fight like she was born to do it, because most of the hybrids they have rescued already embraced the lifestyle forced on them but not her, all her moves are calculated to effectively hit and disable her opponent for them to give up. Whenever her opponents tap out, she makes sure she let them go right away. She doesn’t abuse the power she has and just let them accept defeat in a professional way.

She’s still good, still humane. Y/N thought.

At least it will be easier to help her and give her a new life, she thought.

--

Everything was chaotic before the last fight started. While everyone was busy betting on the next hybrid, the guards were stupid enough to leave their posts that made Jimin and his team’s life easier. They had access on the cells where they keep all hybrids. With a lookout giving Jimin a signal that everything was clear, they freed all hybrids in their cell to the back exit where the H.P.F were. Once all hybrids were safe and secure, Jimin radiod Y/N to tell her that they got all of them except for one. The legendary Yoonji.

No worries Chim, I think I know where she is. While looking at a narrow hallway leading to whatever room Yoonji and Big Man Choi went to.

Y/N stared at Jungkook from across the room, she nodded and Jungkook understand what to do next.

Pretending to be drunk she stumbled upon the hallway and made her way there checking and making sure no one noticed. At the end of the hall she met face to face with the man himself.

This is a restricted area Ma’am, I suggest you go back to where the people were. He stated coldly.

Oh-my! Apologies darling, I was trying to look for a place to rest. I feel uncomfortable with the tight space and chairs you gave us! She scoffed.

The man didn’t respond right away, he saw this woman twice already. He recognized that she’s one of those wealthy elites who are in incognito so that their reputations won’t get ruined specially since hybrids have rights now. He also remembered that she’s one of those who made a bet on Yoonji, spending a huge sum of money on that Scaly slut! Not wanting to displease her he said “ Oh, my apologies Ma’am, what can I do to make your experience better here? He queried.

Well unfortunately, there isn’t anything you can do, I just needed to walk around since my feet are all stiff now she glared.

Not wanting to displease her anymore, he just nodded, bowed his head and walk away.

Annoying piece of shit she gritted.  She turned her head subtly looking around to make sure no one’s watching her. She isn’t stupid though, she knows that the asshole, despite not being able to see him around, will still be suspicious of her. But her time was limited, she only have one hybrid to rescue. So with a deep sigh, she turned around and entered the narrow hallway. Making sure no one was tailing her. She reached the end of the hallway, she’s standing in front of a shabby looking door. Looking at it, she reached out and jiggled the door knob and of course it’s locked. Y/N was thinking of a way to open it when someone grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her so hard, gasping from the pain. She felt hot breath close to her ear saying:

What do you think are you doing sweetheart?

Craning her neck, she saw Big Man Choi’s disgusting grin. He smirked when he saw how she was looking at him with all disdain.

Why? What do you got in there? Something of importance?! She grit.

Yeah, you can say that, so no snooping around unless? He looked at her up and down and licked his bottom lip making Y/N shiver with how gross this man was.

She made an effort to shake off the annoyance she was experiencing with the man. She fumbled inside her thigh for her gun, which was fastened there. She grabbed it and gave the man an elbow to the stomach. He lost his balance and fell to the ground because he was hurt and startled by the attack.

 Y/N shot Big Man Choi's right leg after seeing the man on the ground and becoming furious. The pain caused the man to shout. The remaining guards in the area were informed by it. She heard Jungkook's voice on her radio as she got ready for a gunfight.

Find the missing hybrid now! I have your back! He gave a command.

She fired twice at the doors' locks while remaining silent. Kicking the door open, she hurriedly scanned the room as she entered it and noticed a small lump in the position of a fetus on one of the room's corners. She approached her and made an effort to rouse the hybrid.

Hey, wake up, we have to leave right away.

When she saw the hybrid's condition, her voice lost its urgency and became hushed. Yoonji only sustained a busted lip and a few bruises before leaving the ring, but how? She appeared to be on the verge of dying. Y/N didn't have anytime left. So she put her arms underneath her and lifted her gently. She heard Yoonji hiss. So Y/N tried to comfort and assure her that she's safe. That she will be taken cared off and that starting from now, she will live a peaceful and happy life, away from all the abuse and violence she experienced.

Kook? I’ve got her, is the coast clear? She said on the radio. Waiting for a couple of minutes he responded.

The coast is clear, were all waiting for you outside!

While these was happening Y/N failed to see that the hybrid on her arms open her eyes briefly and released a sigh. Yoonji felt safe, happy and most of all she felt a tingly sensation throughout her body that made her want to giggle.

--

Opening her eyes, she was blinded by the bright lights that greeted her. Blinking a couple of times, she roused from the bed and scanned the place. Where was she? Why are there things on my arm? She thought. Unsure of everything, she whimpered… N-no! this can’t be! Her breathing getting heavy, W-what! T-take this o-of me! Don’t – d-don’t want this! D-don’t n-need this!!! She screamed on the top of her lungs. The door on her left slammed open and people in white rushed in to contain her.

Calm down sweetheart, you’re safe … you’re no longer there. A soft yet sad voice reach Yoonji’s ears.

G-get me o-out of this! I I don’t want this! Take it o-out please! She wailed.

You need it sweety, it will help you ease the pain from your bruises. Jisoo persuaded.

I-I DON’T NEED THEM! GET THIS FUCKING THING AWAY FROM ME!!! after letting out a loud scream, she felt a sharp pain from her neck. Her vision getting blurry despite that she still kept mumbling Pl-please, st-stop, want her. Please! N-need her, I-I need her! N-need her …

--

Waking up from the ringtone of her phone. Y/N picked it up right away.

H-hello? She yawned.

Y/N it’s me! I’m sorry for waking you up this late but, the hybrid you brought in is very aggressive! Says Jisoo exasperatedly.

Uh, Soo aren’t all hybrids that we rescue specially from underground dens aggressive? She queried with an eye roll.

Of course I know that! What I meant was the reptile hybrid you rescued, Yoonji? She’s so out of it. We already sedated her but whenever it wears out she goes back to being violent! Throwing things around, screaming and crying. B-but she was screaming only one thing. Jisoo’s voice turning into a whisper.

I think you need to get here Y/N, We all really tried but she kept mumbling want her – want her. You were the one that took her here so I believe you’re the one she is asking for muttered Jisoo.

Rubbing the sleep out of her face she responded. Thanks for telling me Soo, I’ll be there right away. With that said she took her keys and ran to her car to get to the sanctuary.

--

The scene that Y/N came upon was chaotic. The moment she saw the situation she got angry. Stepping inside the room, she saw that guards and nurses were on one side of the room and a scared but hostile Yoonji was pressed up against the corner of the room. Of course the hybrid will be like this given the situation that they are in: she’s in a new environment, with strangers who are ganging up on her. She will definitely feel defensive.

I know, what we are doing right now isn’t ideal, and I will allow you to get angry at me later but we didn’t have a choice. Jisoo said frantically.

Still looking at the hybrid, Y/N whispered. What do you want me to do then?

Before Jisoo can respond, Yoonji looked at Y/N. Her eyes dilated and her body automatically relaxed.

Y-you? She whimpered.

M-mate please. Please. Yoonji muttered, her lips quivering. She doesn’t know what she’s feeling. If she’s supposed to be happy to finally meet her other half or angry that her mate was not on her side protecting her and was still talking to the beautiful looking human beside her.

Y/N’s eyes doubled in size when she heard what Yoonji just uttered. Ma-mate? I’m your- you think I’m your mate? She mused.

Not leaving her eyes on the hybrid Jisoo nodded and said Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Still feeling overwhelmed with the situation but wanting to de escalate it. Y/N walked slowly towards Yoonji. The guards and nurses made way for her while she approaches the hybrid. As soon as Yoonji sees her walk towards her, her face lit up. She lifted her hands and reached out to her. When Y/N was a centimeter away from Yoonji’s outstretched hand she took it and held her hand so delicately. Her hand was rough, a lot of cuts and calluses from her years in the underground ring but despite that she felt so warm the moment their hands touch, like as if she was filled with something she didn’t know was missing before. Y/N looked up to finally look at Yoonji and the moment their eyes met she knew that Yoonji was not making up the mate thing. Y/N pulled Yoonji close, there was no resistance from Yoonji. She just melted from the hug that Y/N gave. She nuzzled on the crook of her neck and wrap her arms around her. After a few seconds of them hugging. Yoonji looked up at Y/N and whispered It’s you, it’s really you? I thought I’ll never get to meet you. After saying this the tears that were pooling finally fell. Gripping Y’N’s shirt tight Yoonji added ‘m happy to finally meet you. Y/N was left looking at her with all the love and affection she can ever give. She squeezed her, not tight enough just to assure Yoonji that she heard and acknowledges what she said. Lowering down her lips, she gave the hybrids head a soft peck and also whispered Me too.

--

I c-can’t believe this. I always knew that some part of me was missing, but I-I never thought that it was this? You know. Y/N whispered to Jisoo who was across from her. They are both in the room where Yoonji is in. The hybrid was fast asleep. After meeting Y/N, Yoonji felt safe enough to rest but given that she should be holding her mates’ hand. She’s been cuddling her hand for half an hour now, and whenever Y/N tries to take her hand back Yoonji will hold it in a vice grip so she just let it be.

And I believe you’re relieved with the situation?. Jisoo asked her while arching her brow at her friend. Y/N nodded and smiled while looking at her Yoonji.

That’s great then. I think you have to stay for a bit longer since she wont let you go huh? Jisoo mused, while Y/N giggled like a school girl. Don’t worry Soo, I’ll take care of her. Jisoo nodded and told her that if she ever need her, she should just give her a call. After Jisoo left, Y/N is still staring at the hybrid with a small smile. She’s feeling all tingly inside. Looking back now, the first time she saw Yoonji in the underground ring she felt a pull. Like as if her mind, heart and body was telling her that she should be near the hybrid, but she didn’t dwell on it that much since they were supposed to assess the situation of the underground ring. She’s happy now though, no more cold nights without a lover keeping her awake. She can’t help herself to imagine what her future will be like now that she’s with her mate.

--

Being glared at was far from all of the things Y/N imagined when she went back to the sanctuary to see Yoonji again. After a couple of hours last night, when Yoonji was in deep slumber she was able to pry her hand from hers to finally rest in one of the many vacant rooms in the sanctuary. As much as she wanted to just lay with Yoonji, her rational side told her that she was just rescued from an abusive life and having to wake up to a new place and a stranger next to her despite being her mate was not ideal. So, with a light peck that she gave on Yoonji’s forehead she stepped out of the room. Back to the present, she was so excited to see Yoonji again after taking a rest on a fairly decent bed. She was a bit taken a back when the hybrid that had clung to her yesterday was staring daggers at her.

A-uhm- Good morning! I brought breakfast?

Raising the plastic bags with food. Y/N was hesitant to come near her so she stayed glued on the doorway. Expecting a response she waited for a couple of seconds when Yoonji looked the other way. Deeming its okay to be near her Y/N walked towards her and before she can let out another sentence about the food she ordered. She froze when she heard a loud hiss coming from her. Looking up from taking out the boxes of food, she saw how dilated Yoonji’s eyes were. She knew that the Yoonji from yesterday was different to the Yoonji today. She stopped just a few feet away from Yoonji’s bed and said

D-did I do something wrong Yoonji?. Looking Y/N up and down she hissed.

Who the fuck are you?! Are you one of those assholes again, trying to persuade me in drinking that nasty shit! I don’t want you! And your friends, just get me out of this fucking place!. Y/N’s eyes doubled in size.

W-what do you mean who am i? yo-you? Don’t you remember what happened yesterday? She asked anxiously. What happened yesterday was a complete surprise to her but she accepted the idea of having Yoonji as a mate right away.

Yesterday? Yoonji scoffed

Yesterday you assholes cornered me and injected me something that made me drousy! Whatever the fuck you were talking about, I DON’T REMEMBER. AND I.DON’T.GIVE.A.FUCK! she gritted while enunciating each words.

--

Please tell me Soo, did I just imagine all that happened yesterday? Y/N asked her friend.

Jisoo sighed and responded, No Y/N, everything that happened yesterday were real, I and everybody inside Yoonjis room saw it. We’re your witnesses.

Then why? She asked again confused.

I think that Yoonji can be right and wrong at the same time. What she said about us sedating her was true and that she can all just said those things but Y/N the moment she woke up, it was you she was asking for. Jisoo explained.

Still lost in her thoughts, she didn’t show any reaction.

Hey, she said softly. I believe that you and Yoonji are really mates. She was asking you to get out of the room so bad, but the moment you stepped out her eyes turned glassy, I even saw her hands clenching so hard as if she was forcing herself not to reach out for you. Thinking back to her going to check what was happening in Yoonji’s room since the hybrid was yelling on the top of her lungs.

Aside from Yoonji, how about you? I didn’t have the time to ask you yesterday. Her friend queried.

What about me? she raised her brow to her.

I mean, what do you feel? I know that you’re surprised about the revelation of having a mate, but what do you think?

Y/N’s face lit up while thinking about the events that happened yesterday, she said Well, I-I was surprised of course but happy…I thought I was going to spend my life alone given you know, my past experiences. But hearing that from her made me feel, content and assured that there was someone out there who was just for me. I-I’m really happy Soo, and you know what! She yelled making her friend flinch in surprise Whatever is her reason for pretending that she said all those stuffs yesterday will not stop me from being with her. I-I want to be someone that can keep her safe, loved and cared for no matter what she thinks.

Jisoo was surprised with her friends declaration but at the same time she knows that she shouldn’t because being friends with Y/N she learned that when she says something, she means it and that she will do everything in her power to be able to achieve it.

Alright, I totally support you in this but do remember that she’s still recovering from all the abuse and trauma she have experienced. It will take time but I believe that if you prove to her that you are someone willing to wait and endure for her then she will open up to you.

Feeling confident and supported she smiled brightly towards her friend and thought of things she needed to do to prove to Yoonji that she will be with her as her mate forever.

--

This can’t be real, all my life I’ve hoped for a mate. My mate that will set me free from everything that I’ve endured. But now that she’s here, she’s within reach. I feel like I can’t fathom the idea of having her near me. Yoonji thought.

The day after being dismissed by Yoonji, Y/N kept coming back. It’s been two weeks straight and the hybrid is just getting restless and irritated.

A hiss was heard the moment Y/N entered Yoonji’s room.

Good morning Yoonji! I brought you some flowers since the flowers I brought last week have completely wilted she said while gesturing to the flower vase near her desk.

A cold stare was Yoonji’s response to Y/N’s cheerful greeting. Not letting it sour her mood, she continued walking towards the vase while talking about her morning. Ever since Y/N’s first visit she was the only one talking, at first it was to get rid of the awkwardness that she felt whenever Yoonji just raise her brow at her but now it’s just automatic that the moment she enters her room she will talk about anything under the sun. She was cut of though mid sentence when Yoonji said…

Stop

Quickly turning her head to face Yoonji, she have both her brows raised since she wasn’t sure if it was really Yoonji who spoke when

Stop doing whatever it is you’re doing here. After saying those lines Yoonji looked at her dead in the eye and continued I don’t want you here, I don’t need you here so for your sake get the fuck out and never come back. Then she laid on her side and covered herself with the blanket.

Letting her face fell, Y/N responded. I know you don’t trust me and that you’re scared right now but will do the best that I can for you to open up for me. I-im your mate Yoonji, I won’t just abandon you, Im with you for life I—

You’re HUMAN!!! What do you know about fucking mates!? This thing doesn’t even exist for you guys, so stop pretending that you know what being a mate is! It’s making you more stupid and pathetic Yoonji greeted.

Not wanting to push further Y/N just bowed her head and nodded. Leaving everything on the desk below her she quickly left her room.

She really was trying. Yoonji was right though, soulmates are not a thing for humans but after a couple of years that hybrids are being in a relationship with humans the concept came about and a lot of humans do claim that the idea of being mates with a hybrid is a real thing and that all of those humans who are mated claims that as if the hollow feeling that they get is no more because of having their other halves. That’s what Y/N feels, but apparently it’s not something Yoonji wanted to accept.

--

Yoonji expected that after her outburst yesterday it will deter Y/N and she won't be visiting her for awhile but of course it didn't. She's still there the next day talking Yoonji's ear off. Y/N is determined as she was stubborn. While in the middle of Y/N's non stop talkathon she failed to notice that one of the laces of her shoes were untied, and as she spun around to look at Yoonji she tripped on it and stumbled. Frantic to gain her balance she grabbed whatever in her reach to steady her and unfortunately that something she grabbed something slim, scaly and tiny but before Y/N was able to look at what she was gripping hard on, her face was smacked hard. Loosing her grip on what she was holding onto, she completely slumped on the floor. A stinging pain was what Y/N felt now that she's on the floor. She raised her hand to hold her cheek and after giving a soft swipe on her left cheek, she brought her hand to where her vision and was surprised when she saw red liquid on her fingertips. Furrowing her brows she swiped her left cheek once more and still saw that she was bleeding, after realizing she looked up to where Yoonji was and saw a blank face. She looked like as if she didn't claw her face with her long nails that weren't cut because she refused to. Understanding dawned in Y/N's face and she stood up and left her room one more time. Whenever Yoonji sent her mate out of her room, she always know that she will come back right away it's just her instincts telling her that she didn't upset her mate enough to make her abandon her. But now, this time a chill went down her spine when she saw a glimpse of Y/N's expression before she left. A face of someone who finally gave up on her.

--

She shouldn’t feel this way, actually she doesn’t have the right to feel this way. It was her own doing that drove her away. Three days have passed after the incident that happened in Yoonji’s room. The morning after she already felt her heartache when Y/N didn’t show up as soon as the sanctuary was open. She waited for a couple more hours because maybe she just have something to do before bursting into her room and apologizing about being late. It already happened a couple of times so maybe, that’s what she kept telling herself.

Yoonji was under Jisoo’s care. The human was in charge with everything medical related for Yoonji. The moment Jisoo entered her room, she was surprised that she wasn’t hit by a pillow courtesy of Yoonji. Whenever Jisoo do her daily routine check up with the hybrid the first thing that will greet her won’t be a hello, not even a hiss. It will always be a pillow. She remembered the first time Yoonji yeeted her pillow towards her, how scared and scandalized she was. But after a couple of months she learned to dodge all of them. It’s been two days that Yoonji didn’t bother to throw her pillow at her. Whenever Jisoo give her a long look, the hybrid just looks more depress than ever.

She’s just busy.

Hearing another phrase other than Hello? How do you feel? From the Doctor made Yoonji whip her head fast to face her.

I didn’t say anything she hissed.

Yeah? you didn’t but you look like you needed some answers. Jisoo defended.

Looking away the hybrid didn’t reply. She didn’t even want to talk about it in the first place. But deep inside, she really wanted to see her again.

She’s a teacher, thought I can share something about her since I know you never asked her anything. Jisoo said, wanting to coax Yoonji to talk a little.

Apart from being a teacher, she’s also part of the T.A.L.R.H –

What the fuck is that? Yoonji interrupted.

It’s The Association of Legal Rights for Hybrids. She’s one of the thousand volunteers and one of the bravest too. She praised.

Since when did that been a thing?

It’s been 10 years now, since the association came to be and it’s been years now that Hybrids are living free. She added.

Yoonji doesn’t want to believe what she was saying, humans are bad and cruel to her kind so why change? She thought. She can’t deny that she’s actually witnessing the things that her Doctor is talking about. The nurses that assists her are cats and dog hybrids. She remembered that the police officer who interviewed her about her life then was also a hybrid and a wolf hybrid at that. She remembered how humans wanted to kill wolf hybrids because of their fear but now it’s one of the protectors of the city. Did people really accepted them? Then why did it took so long for them to rescue them from Big man choi? Why did she suffer for so long. With that remaining thought, she removed the idea of finally accepting her mate and living life freely because no matter what happens she’s still different from them.

Get out, she whispered.

Yoonji—Jisoo tried to comfort, but before she can even finish, the hybrid looked at her menacingly and Jisoo released a huge sigh and left her in her room.

--

How is she Soo? Does she –

Yes, she does. She misses you a lot. Jisoo confirmed.

When are you coming to visit her again? Its been a week you know?!

I know, it’s just … I’m in love with her but I’m also kinda petty. I also want her to miss me. I think she have to feel that after being mean to me and all. Y/N mumbled.

You are both stubborn and prideful. I don’t know what will happen if you get together finally. Her friend responded.

Just for a couple days and then I’ll go see her again. Y/N promised.

It’s up to you Y/N. I have to go anyway I have a lot of things to do. Jisoo dismissed.

Of course. I’ll talk to you then Soo. Bye love you.

Take care, love you too.

--

So, she talks to you but she doesn’t come and see me? said Yoonji in a cold tone.

Hearing and seeing her out of her room and in her office surprised Jisoo that made her shout.

My gosh! Please don’t do that, and why are you hiding here with all the lights turned off. She scolded.

You didn’t answer my question Doctor. She replied.

Well, yes I talk to her since she’s my friend and all our conversation revolve around you since she’s not visiting you lately.

Yoonji nodded her head in thought and hummed.

I came here because I wanted to ask about the conversation you and my mate--I mean Y/N was talking about … she blushed when Jisoo gave her a smirk when she unconsciously mentioned Y/N as her mate rather than human before.

Which was? Jisoo queried.

About being adopted and cared for by her. Yoonji said with seriousness and finality in her sentence.

All Jisoo did was to nod.

--

Soo it’s freaking early in the morning, and why are you calling me on a Saturday when you know I sleep in! Y/N mumbled trying to wake herself up.

Good morning to you too. I guess you were busy last night and wasn’t able to read my message.

What message are you talking about? She yawned.

About me taking Yoonji to your place since she will be living with you because she agreed to have you as her care taker. She said nonchalantly.

Okay.

1 …

          2 …

                   3 …

WAIT WHAAAT!!!!

Yep, so get up, get dressed and make us breakfast because we are on our way to you.

FUUUCK, WHAJDASKF IVNAEKRJCAEFMIRLV CHUAERV …

Jisoo ended the call, but she saw the smirk that Yoonji had on her face after listening to the conversation the two had and how panic Y/N was.

Yoonji feels excited, giddy yet nervous to see her after 2 weeks but she knows she had to try. That’s what Jisoo told her, she had to try and if she feels uncomfortable she can just run away never to be seen again. But she hopes that it won’t get that way.  

Y/N didn’t know what to do first. Does she wash her face, brush her teeth? Or maybe just take a bath. Yeah … that’s what she’s going to do. She noticed how Yoonji wrinkles her nose whenever she smell her so to be safe, she needs to take a quick shower.

Y/N was in the middle of making another batch of pancakes when she heard her door bell ring.

Hold on a second! She yelled from the kitchen. Putting down the spatula and turning off the stove. She walked briskly towards her front door, reaching the door handle. She paused and composed herself. She wanted to make a good impression, no wait … she wanted to act nonchalant towards Yoonji when she meets her again, yeah that’s what I’m going to do she mumbled to herself.

She finally opened the door and before she can say another word.

My gosh what took you so long? Questioned Jisoo and walking past her with Yoonji in tow.

Y/N couldn’t even start with the persona she thought of because of how her friend interrupted her, so she instead followed them both to the kitchen.

Thanks Y/N for cooking, we’re sooo hungry Jisoo said while chewing some pancake.

You’re welcome she whispered and looked at the beautiful girl across from her friend.

Yoonji was sat on a stool eating her fair share of pancakes, when she looked up at Y/N saying thanks.

Despite how cold she said the word, it still made Y/N’s heart flutter. This was the first word that she heard from her other than the yelling and cursing.

And as if Y/N was able to move on from hearing Yoonji say something good towards her she nearly broke down from what she heard from her next.

So? You just gonna stand there and look stupid? Sit down and eat. You made this anyway. Yoonji said irritated from pushing a plate with pancakes and syrup she prepared for Y/N.

Before she can say anything stupid, she just nodded and sat down. Only the noise of the cutleries scraping the plates were heard from the kitchen.

So here are her papers proving that you will be Yoonji’s guardian from now on or whatever Yoonji chooses after the 3 months mark. Jisoo said while passing the documents to Y/N.

If ever you have questions just call me. Alrighty. She hugged Y/N and waved Yoonji goodbye and finally shut the door.

It was only her and Yoonji in her living room.

The moment she turned around to speak to Yoonji, she was already heading to the guess bedroom that Y/N hastedly prepared before she got here and immediately shut the door.

Y/N just let out a huge sigh and headed to her home office to keep the documents and files she received from her friend.

--

When Yoonji decided to accept the offer of living with her mate. She was sure she was going to finally open up to her and accept that she’s mated to a human, but alas no matter what she tried she always take one step back. Her life in Y/N’s home was just about her sleeping, staying in her bedroom and occasionally watching TV in the living room. She wasn’t oblivious about all the things that her mate was trying to do. From small talk, to cooking different kinds of food just to see which one Yoonji likes to even buying Yoonji a phone because she said that it’s something she can use if ever there was an emergency. Yoonji felt guilty that despite how rude and such a bitch she was she was still so stubbornly nice and respectful towards her. If it were any other owner or human she might be beaten to a pulp. That’s why she couldn’t for a life of her understand why she said such horrible things towards Y/N when all she wanted was to be a great mate.

Earlier …

Yoonji? A soft knock was heard from the other side of Yoonji’s bedroom. Yoonji ought to reply but she just feels annoyed all day, she thinks that maybe after a very long time that she haven’t felt it, it’s finally time.

Instead of responding to her like a normal being. She opt to swung the door open and gave the most nastiest scowl she can give her. Y/N was a bit surprised to how Yoonji opened the door, but eh? It’s what Yoonji always do. Yoonji’s living with her for nearly four months already so she’s used to her outbursts from the sanctuary to now so she just shrugged and continued on to what she originally wanted to show her.

Sorry to bother you Yoonji, but if you have a minute I just wanted to show you something. Y/N said with enthusiasm that made Yoonji cringe more but followed after her anyway.

Of all things that Y/N could give Yoonji, Yoonji didn’t expect to see such beautiful thing.

Sitting in the middle of the living room was a brand new electric keyboard. It was the one that Yoonji had added in her kart in an online shopping app that she registered in. She dreamed about owning one ever since she watched people on Youtube play it. The sound of a piano or music really made Yoonji feel so relax and at ease. It makes her feel like despite everything that she’d been through there’s always calmness and hope. So why is it making her angry seeing it in the house before her very eyes? … She can’t even understand what Y/N was talking about. The anger, guilt, joy and remorse she was feeling made her snap at Y/N.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW I’VE BEEN WANTING ONE HUH!

YOU THINK THAT BUYING ME ALL THESE SHIT THAT YOU’VE BEEN GIVING ME FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS IS GOING TO MAKE ME SUCCUMB TO YOU!!! MAKE ME … MAKE ME PLIANT TO ALL YOUR DIRTY, TWISTED AND SICK MINDED WANTS!

Yoonji shouted at the top of her lungs. She really was fuming, why do you have to be so nice. It was much easier to have you be an evil person than this.

I-I th-thought this will make you happy, you always have a smile on your face whenever I see you listen to music. I even saw you move your fingers in the air like you were playing a piano so I thought it was best to give you one … I’m not giving you these things because I want you to submit to me. I-I just wanted to make you happy. That’s all I wanted to do for you. You deserve it, specially after everything you’ve been though.

AND YOU THOUGHT MATERIAL THINGS WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY! WOULD MAKE ME CONTENT AND SATISFIED. IF THAT’S WHAT MATTERED TO ME I WOULD HAVE TAKEN ALL THE GOLD, JEWELRIES AND MONEY THAT MY DEMON OWNER HAVE OFFERED ME! I-I DON’T EVEN---

With Yoonji’s rampage, she failed to see the hurt and the sorrow written all over Y/N’s face. While Yoonji was in the middle of mumbling profanities towards her she stopped when …

So why stay? Y/N whispered.

What the fuck did you say? Questioned Yoonji.

I said, why are you staying with me when you loath me Yoonji. She said now cold dark eyes staring right at her.

What Y/N said made Yoonji gulp and take a step back. She was speechless, she didn’t know what to say.

Why do you continue living with me when I just remind you that you are tied to someone so disgusting, so horrifying, so perverted, someone intolerable huh? She questioned slightly raising her voice to her.

What made Yoonji’s heart break was when Y/N said.

They said that having a mate will make you feel euphoria. All I wanted was to love my mate and be loved back. I didn’t know that until now I will never be worth it enough to love and be loved.

--

She tried. She knows in her heart that she tried but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t always enough. When she was young, wanting the love and the attention of her parents. Giving her all in relationships be it friendships and romantic partners. It was Jisoo who stayed and loved her platonically and made her realized her worth and find her passion in looking after hybrids too.

Soulmates are a huge thing in society, even though having a soulmate as a human was rather rare than for hybrids. It’s not taken lightly. When you are given a soulmate you will be considered one of the lucky ones. Someone truly blessed with a partner mind, body, heart and soul connected to each other. So when she found out that she was one of the lucky ones given a soulmate she thank God for her. Y/N knew that it was going to be difficult to win Yoonji over, specially given that Yoonji had a rough life from cruel people before. When they first saw each other in the underground ring, Y/N instantly felt something deep inside of her, she knew that Yoonji felt it too, but Yoonji didn’t want to hope, since she thought that her mate was one of the people enjoying torturing their kind. But when she was rescued by Y/N and was treated as someone special, someone that was truly loved she didn’t how to react hence her lashing out on her every chance she get. Despite her bitchy attitude, Y/N was patient, understanding, caring and dare say loving too. Yoonji thought that Y/N will always stay like that, but today she pushed her too much to the point that all the fight that Y/N have for her seemed like it was gone now. Like Y/N has given up on her completely.

After the exchange that Y/N and Yoonji had in the living room, Y/N excused herself and went to her office. The time reads 12:13 am, and Yoonji never saw or heard Y/N go out of the office. Releasing a huge sigh, Yoonji tried to go to bed and told herself that in the morning she have to make things right with her.

--

The smell of coffee permeates the air. Yoonji always loved the smell of coffee, so flicking her tongue out she head out her bedroom. She slowly went to the kitchen when she was greeted by Y/N’s back. She’s cooking breakfast. There are two plates on the table and two mugs of coffee which made Yoonji believe that Y/N doesn’t hate her enough to just make breakfast for herself.

H-hey. Yoonji called out softly. She saw how Y/N tensed up but decided not to comment on it and just sat down on the stool in front of her.

Y/N acknowledge Yoonji with a side glance and continue cooking them some eggs. After she was done she placed their food on each of the plates. Sat down and gestured to Yoonji that she can eat. Yoonji felt how awkward and tense the atmosphere between them was. She wanted to say something, she doesn’t know but she knows she has to say something. When she was about to open her mouth and speak up, Y/N beat her to it.

I’m sorry Yoonji. I didn’t know that keeping you with me made you feel so caged up. I thought that us being mates was enough to make you feel at least okay with me, but I-I guess I was wrong. She told her.

Yoonji felt her stomach twist with how Y/N was still able to apologize when all she did was be a good human, a great mate. It was Yoonji who was supposed to apologize but Y/N continued and say …

So, I sent your papers back in the sanctuary. Don’t worry. I didn’t say anything bad about you. I told them that you need to make your own choices from now. And that you should be able to live your life the way you want it. And if being tied with a mate was something you hate don’t worry because I told them that we aren’t compatible and that you are free to do whatever you want right now.

Hearing those words from Y/N made Yoonji pale. She felt so lost, she knew that Y/N’s patience with her was running thin and that one day she will finally kick her out because she realized that she wasn’t worth it.

You don’t have to worry about money or housing because the sanctuary is willing to help you start a new lif--

NO!

Y/N was startled.

I-I don’t want that! I-I. Yoonji stammered.

Then what the fuck do you want Yoonji! I show you how much I’m happy and in love to have you as my mate, you hate me. I give you a way out, and you don’t want it too. Make up your mind! Y/N yelled.

It was the first time that Y/N ever yelled at her. The first that she showed a different emotion other than being in love with her. It scared Yoonji because Y/N might really think that Yoonji didn’t want this, didn’t want her. So she calmed herself and tried to speak up one more time. But she didn’t know how to say it so instead of talking she raised her arms and yanked Y/N close and wrapped her arms around her. She buried her head on the crook of her neck and stayed their. Y/N visibly stiffened, she wasn’t sure if she was even allowed to reciprocate the skinship Yoonji was giving. Sensing Y/N’s mental dilemma Yoonji whispered.

I’m sorry Y/N, I’m so sorry. I was afraid. I still am. All my life I’ve been looking forward to meet you but now that your really here. I-I’m afraid that one day you’ll realize I’m not someone worth having, keeping and loving. Yoonji said all these with tears streaming down her cheeks.

Y/N was surprised that Yoonji finally opened up to her. She knew how hard it was to think all these things but she’s so proud of Yoonji for pouring her heart out to her. Now she knows what Yoonji felt and she’s hoping for Yoonji to at least give her a chance to try. So, Y/N brought her hands to Yoonji’s cheeks and cup them. She was awestruck, it’s the first time that she’s seen Yoonji up close. She’s so so beautiful, despite having tear stains on her cheeks and having a flushed face. It made her look so adorable.

Thank you baby, thank you for finally telling me how you feel. Y/N said with love and adoration written on her face.

Yoonji feeling Y/N’s hands on her face made her feel so relaxed and comforted. She nuzzled one of Y/N’s hands and pouted. Yoonji sniffed Y/N and let herself finally sink in that her mate smells good and that she’s good. That she’s going to have a wonderful life with her.

You’re so beautiful and cute my baby. Y/N smiled at her.

Hearing those words from her made Yoonji feel shy so she wiggled out of Y/N’s hold and instead nuzzled back on the crook of Y/N’s neck. Y/N chuckled softly and wrapped her arms around Yoonji and started swaying them both slightly from side to side.

There were a lot of things that they have to talk about, they both knew that but it can wait for later. They just wanted to be in each other’s arms for now.

--

Logging out of her online classes. She stretch her arms and let out a big yawn. Yoonji just finished presenting her thesis in class and she received amazing feedback from the panel of professors listening to her. Her thesis took so much of her time and energy and now that’s finally out of the way she can finally relax.

Yoonji head out of her small studio room where she practically lives in because she attends online University and also where she works on her music. She went straight to their bedroom and laid in bed and was fast asleep.

She woke up when she felt pleasure between her legs. Opening her eyes, she looked down immediately and wasn’t shocked at what she sees. It’s what she loved waking up to. Being eaten out by the love of her life, her best friend, her mate.

Y/N looked up and their eyes met. She dragged her tongue from her slit to her clit where she suckled it, and released it with a pop.

Hi baby, you always taste so good. Y/N purred.

Feeling overwhelmed with arousal Yoonji tried to grind her pussy on Y/N’s face wanting to feel the pleasure her mate was giving her. She whined when Y/N stood on her knees and was far away from Yoonji’s aching pussy.

Mo-mommyyy pl-pleaassse, Yoonji needs you, my pussy needs you please. She begged her.

Looking down at Yoonji, Y/N can’t deny how beautiful, sexy and intoxicating her Yoonji was. Her cute nipples hard. Her legs spread wide open, giving her an amazing view of her glistening pussy. How smooth, flawless and pink her pussy was. But looking at Yoonji’s face was a stark contrast of her body. Her cheeks pink because of embarrassment and arousal. Her eyes are teary, which shows how needy she is with Y/N’s touch.

Y/N was taken back to reality when Yoonji whimpered and begged again to be filled up by her cock. Who was Y/N to deny such a request from her angel.

Quickly taking out her length. She aligned it at her lips dragging it up and down to get some of her juices on her tip. When Yoonji felt Y/N’s tip on her clit she shuddered, she wants to be full so she whined one more time and cried out when Y/N’s cock was shoved deep inside of her without warning.

Y/N took hold of Yoonji’s hips and started thrusting in and out of her fast.

Yeah, baby you want Mommy fucking you like this huh? Want Mommy pounding her baby’s tiny pussy. Y/N said while fucking her.

The only words coming out of Yoonji’s mouth were slurred words of yesses and Mommy.

With the intense pleasure that Yoonji feels she came right away without warning Y/N. She squirted when she came and the force of her orgasm pushed Y/N’s cock out. So, Y/N just decided to watch her Yoonji’s pussy squirt non-stop because of her orgasm. After a couple of seconds she shoved her cock back in again. Not wanting to let her baby rest. Yoonji loved being fucked multiple times. Because of that Y/N always made sure that Yoonji orgasmed at least three to four times so that she can finally be satiated.

After a couple of rounds later, heavy breaths were only heard in their bedroom as the couple looked up at the ceiling. They were a total mess. When Y/N was finally settled she got out of bed and went to their bathroom to wipe her cock and bring a cloth dipped in warm water so that she can finally clean Yoonji up. Her pussy was oozing with a mixture of her and Y/N’s cum. The bedsheet was also wet because of her squirts from their intense love making. Y/N nearing her she sat down at the bottom of the bed and gently drag the cloth to Yoonji’s pussy which made her whine from the overstimulation.

Mommy ‘sensitive she whined.

I know baby, Mommy’s sorry for going rough on you. Mommy just wanted to have her baby girl again after a couple of weeks of us being busy. I think we needed that. Y/N explained.

Yes Mommy. No worries, it wasn’t rough for me. It felt so so good. Always good whenever you fuck me. She said while grinning at her lover.

That’s great to hear baby. Now, come let’s take a shower. We need to clean up so that we can have dinner and rest for tonight. Y/N told her and Yoonji just nodded her headed.

Yoonji was being lifted up on Y/N’s arms towards the bathroom.

In the closed shower room, the sound of water falling and moans were heard once again.

--

4 years later …

Yoonji and Y/N were sitting on a picnic blanket surrounded by the food that they both prepared for their picnic. Whenever spring comes around it has been their tradition to go to a meadow deep inside a mountain trail near their place. This is where the couple just surround themselves with the sweet scent of wild flowers blooming and feeling the cool air on their skin as they laugh and talk about things happening about their lives.

It’s nearing sun down and both was just sitting in comfortable silence. Content to be together and just reflect on what their lives have been after the couple of years they’ve been together. When Yoonji was just staring at the horizon she always made sure to compliment how beautiful the sky was. While Yoonji does so, Y/N’s gaze remains on Yoonji alone, looking at the side profile of her mate. How cute her button nose crinkles when she smiles, how adorable her gummy smile was and her hair being blown by the wind. Yoonji looks ethereal, and Y/N feels so lucky to have her as a mate.

She’s so in love with her that’s why while Yoonji was so distracted she pulled out the ring inside her jacket and called Yoonji’s name.

Yoonji’s eyes grew big when she saw the diamond ring her mate was showing her, she shouldn’t be surprised because Y/N always hinted that she wanted to marry her mated or not but witnessing the scene before her surprised her a lot. Yoonji was so overwhelmed that she can’t say anything and just let the tears on her eyes flow freely down her cheeks. Seeing this made Y/N cup her cheeks and cooed at her.

Baby, why are you crying? Do you not want to marry me? Y/N queried.

Yoonji shook her head immediately and looked up at her mate and stuttered.

O-of c-course, I w-waaannnt too. She sobbed louder.

Hearing her response made Y/N relaxed so she chuckled at Yoonji’s reaction and just cradled her in her arms.

Then will you wear my ring baby? She prodded.

Yoonji offered her left hand and Y/N put the jewelry on her ring finger and kissed her temple afterwards.

T-thank you M-mommy for everything you’ve done for me. Yoonji said.

You don’t need to thank me baby, Y/N chastised.

No, I-I just want to tell you how happy and grateful I am for you. Thank you for rescuing me back in the underground ring. Thank you for being patient and lovely towards me the first months I was out, I know how rude and bitchy I was but instead of giving up on me, you stayed and proved how much you love me. Thank you f-for helping me live my life by going to school, now I’ve graduated and have an amazing job doing music. I c-can’t thank you enough but I will live my life showing you how much I love you. Yoonji proclaimed.

Thank you for telling me all of this my angel, I’ll do the same then too. I’ll live my life showing you how much I love you. Y/N responded.

The couple looked at each other and their lips met, the kiss then became more passionate as the lovers wanted to prove to the other how grateful they are to have each other. Yoonji then whimpered and say Mommy please make love to me. Who was Y/N to deny her mates request so she asked Yoonji to lay down on the picnic blanket they were sitting on. Yoonji looked so beautiful with her hair spread out above her head, one of the strap of her sundress down and she spread her legs wide to show Y/N that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. Seeing that made Y/N chuckle.

My angel’s naughty, not wearing panties under her dress she said while going down on her.

Yoonji released a soft moan when she felt Y/N’s tongue lick her clit and suckle it.

Wanna be ready for you always Mommy, she claimed.

That’s my good girl Y/N responded and continued eating her out, within minutes Yoonji came with a gasp. Not letting her recover Y/N immediately released her cock from her underwear and shoved it in her wet pussy. Yoonji whined at how sensitive she was, but didn’t complain once Y/N started thrusting in and out of her.

Your so wet baby, so tight no matter how many times Mommy fucks your tiny pussy. She growled near Yoonji’s ear.

Yoonji just nodded, couldn’t speak up because of the intense pleasure she was experiencing.

Y/N couldn’t get enough of her so she took hold of Yoonji’s legs and brought her knees to her chest. When Yoonji was folded in half, Y/N started fucking her fast and hard. Yoonji started sobbing because with this position she can feel her Mommy deep inside of her, and with that she came with a squirt and despite how she was cumming hard Y/N still rammed her until she came inside her hard. Y/N thrusted a couple more times to ride out her orgasm and when both came down from their high’s they looked at each other and giggled. Y/N kissed Yoonji just because she looked so adorable with her gummy smile and told her I love you. In which Yoonji replied with an I love you too Mommy, so much.

FIN.

Author’s note: Hello there darlings, I hope this story made you fall in love with Min Yoonji, Because I did. If you want to read more of my works, do comment and like the stories I have in this blog and I will write soon – Love Francene Molove.

[thebestorworstofit]

:// disney really tried to keep me 3 different times tonight

• first I get stuck on a ride to literally no one ever gets stuck on - like how are you going to keep people stuck 10 feet before a stop just bc yallllll forgot to water up the train that literally runs off STEAM.

• then the cast member assigning people rows on runaway was supercalfragalosticly ignorant and kept trying to put me with bigger groups (like yes it seats 5, but there’s no reason to squeeze that many in / it’s usually grouped in no more than 4) and when i tried to explain that i’m autistic and get uncomfortable that confined and asked to sit with a smaller party she legit looked me in the eyes and said “it’s okay you can do it i believe in you” when i’ve NEVER had a CM have any problem with helping me out when i’m by myself or with a friend (i’m very nice it’s not like i’m demanding or loud about it) and because she made me so uncomfortable and unsettled, it like ruined the experience for me, so i asked another cast member to help me exit - he showed me where to go AND YET I LITERALLY GOT LOST TRYING TO FIND MY WAY OUT OF A CARTOON HALLWAY. ended up in a place not for me and had to wait like 15 minutes for someone to walk me out while i’m already visibly upset (shout out to paul who walked me out and over to roger rabbit where he sent me to the front of the line to make up for the experience i had / bc obviously i told him everything like a freaking baby)

• AND THEN I go to leave. I’ve done my shopping. I have my coffee. I have my treats. I did my thing I am a happy camper again. So I get this wild idea to throw away any trash in my car before i leave - but to my surprise when I got to my car my keys weren’t in my disney bag… my keys were not anywhere on my person. So naturally, I had a full-blown freaking meltdown, because by that point, the park was closed.  which made going back through security, onto the tram and back to the front of the park super fun.  and then because I couldn’t go back into the park. I got to explain my whole situation to a security guard i can’t remember the name of, and like god bless that man he had no idea what to do with me but thankfully, I am very loud and one of the leads by the gate. Heard me freaking out, pulled me aside and had me list the stores and places i went into where I remember having my keys and she walkied every single one of those places, after about 10 minutes, we get worried that someone found my keys, but they had just sent someone with them to lost and found which led to an absolute angel named Melissa tracking this person down, getting my keys and bringing them up to the front of the park while poor sweet sharon just listened to me like cry for almost an hour while we waited for a resolution.

I definitely wouldn’t say it was a bad disney evening but man it was a time…

now, you would think with all of that one of those might be my low points for the evening, but no… I am shocked to say the worst part of my evening was when a large woman who was arguing with her husband and her children came and sat on me. Technically next to me, but next to me by not enough because her silent it on the outside of my thigh, and her arm was touching me. When I looked at her and I said oh, excuse me - yaknow the universal signal for hey I’m fucking existing here you cow please get out of my personal space. I may not need 3 feet anymore but 3 inches wouldn’t fucking hurt…. She just looked at me and turned back to her conversation.

As someone who is only vertically 5 feet and a lil change, I am used to being bumped into, passed over, and stepped on, it happens. It’s okay… what’s not okay is that this is the second time in a month that someone has sat on me. I do not understand this selectively invisible super power, and I will tell you right now I do not like it.

It took almost 3 extra hours to get home with all of these banana pants obstacles and now it’s 4 am - and ofc i am wide awake when i have work 2-10 and a cannaevent from 4-11.

if anyone’s down to come punch me in the face just to knock me out, lemme know - i’ll drop a pin. 

[lord-shitbox]

13. 19. 23 27. 34 50) top um uhh umm if who's your favorite hollow knight character 50)whossssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssumm your favorite teacher but u can't pick ur art teacher

1.) do you have freckles

no unless I have a sunburn on my face. I do have a lot of beauty spots though theres one under the corner of both eyes

13.) fears?

i used to be batshit afraid of needles and also bugs but im normal about them now. i am also not afraid of the dark because I can just go "ohhh gozus lurking in the dark gonna stab me with his claws" and it is 100% unscary he's 165 cm what a twerp

19.) do you have a best friend? how long have you been friends?

if not tuna then hannah. i do not remember when we became friends <3 probably sept 2021? shes even worse than me at PE class it made participation worthwhile

23.) do you believe in aliens?

i believe in some kind of life form existing in the universe somewhere and I think it's really funky to think about all the different potential ways a lifeform could exist. everything over here is all carbon-based and shit and we only survive because we're in this narrow habitable distance from the big ball of hot radiation we spin around So Like. is there gonna be a planet that so narrowly has the same criteria that lead to our existence? or something totally fucking wack and unlike ours? very fun to think about.

conspiracy theory wise, no.

27.) what's your favorite book / one you've read a few times?

uh. YA novels: Feeder by patrick weekes is good. Storm Siren trilogy (mary weber) old classic faves. Cemetery Boys by aiden thomas is the newest addition to my favorites.

poetry: crush by richard siken (duh) i have a big anthology of louise gluck i like, OH THERES THIS BOOK CALLED "STEAL LIKE AN ARTIST" BY AUSTIN KLEON IT'S NOT POETRY BUT IT'S SO GOOD I read it from my art teacher's shelf and i had her sign my copy<3

34.) what's your favorite flower?

hydrangeas (unsafe for consumption) the ONE SPECIFIC ROSE BUSH THAT I OWN (safe for consumption) morning glories (unsafe) wisteria, literally Any Poisonous Flower

50.1) favorite hollow knight character?

in no particular order: the white lady + the hollow knight + myla + grimm + nailsmith & sheo

50.2) favorite teacher but I can't pick my art teacher

THIS year....if i can't say art teacher...my math teacher or the US / world war history teacher. math teacher is the best teacher ive ever fucking had in math (she's the reason I have a near flawless grade, she's fantastic, shes awesome, she likes puns as all math teachers do) & the ww history teacher is one of those funny dudes who does a shit ton of simulations and wears funky historical clothing hes entertaining & it helps

prior, the few that stick with me are old language arts teachers (last year's was SO SO GOOD SHES THE BEST TEACHER I EVER HAD SHE MADE ME LEARN TO LIKE THE SUBJECT ALL OVER AGAIN AFTER I'D COME TO HATE IT, SHE MET WITH ALL THE KIDS WHO SHE SAW WERE STRUGGLING AND ASKED HOW SHE COULD HELP, O HMY GOD IT WAS HER FIRST YEAR OF TEACHING TOO) also seventh grade dude was funny as shit i like his gender (generic white dude) and he has a dog with three legs named Yardstick. because she only has 3 feet)

[rhyselinn]

Gather round folks, it’s time to talk about Shovel Knight characters’ canon heights!

First things first, let’s talk about our friend Reize Seatlan.

His creator, Seizui, has been building canon around this character for years, and this link tells us that Reize’s canon height is 160 cm (5'3").

Let’s take a look at this boy’s sprite: (complete with blue Photoshop rulers in case you want to see where I measured from)

*caveat: Reize’s hair is extremely fluffy. It runs in the family, so I counted his height as being shorter than the height of his hair. It makes sense and it makes the math easier

Counting the pixels in Reize’s sprite, we can see that he is 32 pixels tall. So when we divide 160 cm by 32 pixels, we discover that each pixel in the Shovel Knight universe is 5 centimeters in real life.

So, what does this mean for the rest of the Shovel Knight cast?

Great question: I’ve got the rest of the math (with screenshot proof) under the cut:

Alright, in no particular order, let’s talk about Plague Knight next.

--Worth noting that I’m using playable/Showdown sprites as opposed to boss sprites when possible. This helps keep characters proportional to each other

--Plague Knight is 31 pixels tall = 155 cm tall = 5 foot 1. Tiny plague knight, but as we’ll see later, not the tiniest member of the cast

Tiniest member of the cast, you say? Could you mean... Tinker Knight?

--Tinker Knight slouches in almost all of his sprites, so I tried to find a sprite of him NOT slouching. That extra pixel makes a difference for this tiny character lol

--27 pixels tall = 135 cm tall = 4 foot 5. tiny tinker. But still not the tiniest member of the cast, believe it or not!

Shovel Knight:

--fairly straightforward. i did wonder if his victory pose was any taller than his regular pose, but it's not

24 pixels tall = 120 cm = 3 foot 11. tiny. tiny shovel. the average 9 year old child is between 120-145 centimeters. So not only is Shovel the size of a 9 year old, but he might actually be the shortest in the class...

Black Knight:

--there are interesting things i could say about the bird feather situation but eh. imma go with eh. bird feathers do not count as height, final answer --other than that, pretty easy here

24 pixels tall = 120 cm = 3 foot 11. same size as shovel, aka also the size of a 9 year old. adorable

Propeller Knight:

--slouches REALLY BAD. ALL THE TIME. --his least slouch-y sprite is his tuxedo sprite from the end of Plague of Shadows, so I used that initially... only to realize that he's the exact same height in his other sprites as well. How about that! Maybe he has some kind of a battery pack for his propeller hat in the back of his shirt. It would explain his terrible posture.

--39 pixels tall = 195 cm tall = 6 foot 4. Tall, but not unreasonable.

Mole Knight:

--has some fascinating squash and stretch in his sprite sheet --fabulous from an animation standpoint. difficult from a math standpoint --i refuse to count his fire-hair as height lol

Squash sprite: 32 pixels tall = 160 cm = 5 foot 2 Normal: 36 pixels tall = 180 cm = 5 foot 10 Stretch sprite: 46 pixels tall = 230 cm = 7 foot 6 (!!!)

I have no explanation for this other than artistic liberties lol

Specter Knight:

--i'm so glad player sprites exist lol. Specter's boss fight sprites are just piles of cloth with him slouching underneath. I will gleefully ignore them for this exercise --that said, even with player sprites, specter knight is HUNCHED OVER ALMOST ALL THE TIME. AUGH. --fortunately, cold shoulder sprites exist, and a few other action-y type poses. they’re pretty consistent with each other (within a pixel or so) --how much of Specter's hood is fluffy cloth vs actual height? good question. I compared to one of Donovan's sprites to give us a good estimate, give or take 1 pixel or so

37 pixels tall = 185 cm = 6 foot 0. Pretty average here.

Treasure Knight:

--also slouches in a lot of his sprites, but at least has a few non-slouchy sprites for us to examine. I chose the taller of the two for consistency (difference of 50 vs 51 pixels)

Treasure Height: 51 pixels = 255 cm = 8 foot 4 (!!!?!) This man is huge!

King Knight:

--his normal standing sprite met my requirements, so I used that --I included his boss sprite without the crown for comparison, because a crown does not actually make one taller lol (sorry not sorry, king) --this also shows the importance of using player sprites vs boss sprites. the difference between the two is pretty obvious here

32 pixels tall = 160 cm = 5 foot 2. tiny. tiny king

Polar Knight:

--hunched over. like, all the time. --there aren't really any sprites of him not hunched over, but the least hunched over is him doing his shovel up attack, so I'll use that, and his normal sprite for comparison

Normal sprite: 47 pixels tall = 235 cm = 7 foot 8 (!!!) Tall sprite: 58 pixels tall = 290 cm = 9 foot 6 (!!!?!?!?!) tl;dr polar knight is a beast of a man and we all knew that already hahaha. the tallest man on record in medical history was 8 ft 11. This is absolutely bonkers

Shield Knight:

--while she does have hunched over sprites, i simply avoided them lol. --how tall is her head inside her helmet? great question! the world may never know. Since our only reference for this is concept art (which does little more than tells us her head is shaped like a human’s and not, say, a squid’s), I kinda winged the exact pixel count. --also worth noting is that she grows a few inches when she sticks her leg out lol

Normal sprite: 35 pixels = 175 cm = 5 foot 8 (tall but normal height for an adult woman) Tall sprite: 40 pixels = 200 cm = 6 foot 6 (!!!!) (hOLY MAMA beautiful big buff lady)

And just for fun, I added a few other important characters from the main stories:

Mona:

--we know she is a tall lady, but exactly how tall? --all of her sprites seem pretty consistent in height, which makes my job easy!

48 pixels tall = 240 cm = 7 foot 10. (???????!!!?) She is the size of Shovel Knight and Black Knight stacked on top of each other. Amazing. I have nothing but awe and admiration for this incredibly tall lady

Luan:

--He has a bunch of funky tumbling/hunched over sprites and very fluffy hair. like father, like son. I did my best to pick the most reasonable sprites of the bunch --after that, I decided two pixels of hair is enough. voluminous hair is impressive but is not height --similar to Shield Knight, he grows a few inches when he sticks his leg out lol

Normal Sprite: 39 pixels = 195 cm = 6 foot 4 Tall Sprite: 43 pixels = 215 cm = 7 foot 0 (!!) All the better for reaching those hard-to-reach platforms in the Tower of Fate, I guess?

King Knight’s Mom:

--last but not least, the best character in king of cards (you know it's true lol) --she also has somewhat fluffy hair. i'm not counting her bun as height.

41 pixels = 205 cm = 6 foot 8 (!!!). It's not Mona tall, but it's still very tall. Tallness may run in the family, but King Knight seeems to have missed out on all of those genes hahaha.

Special thanks to https://www.spriters-resource.com/pc_computer/shovelknight/ for having all the sprites in one easy place! Thanks for reading!

*disclaimer: I am only human and if I flubbed the math or measurements on any of this, I hope you’ll forgive me. I promise I didn’t mean to slight whichever character was affected

[ssa-emilyhotchner]

14x10 ~

First, I'm going to start by saying that I'm beginning to really enjoy the last few seasons. Apparently, they are filled with subtle Hotchniss, so I guess I'll have to actually start watching s12-15🤭Btw, I have to give a special shout-out to @hotchnisscardigan​ who told me about the existence of this! 🥰🥰

The episode revolves around an old case that most of the team worked on in the past. The Milwaukee case. Sounds familiar? That's because is one of the most iconic Hotchniss episodes.

14x10 was a walk down memory lane. Not only because of the case they worked on, but because we started seeing Emily reconciling with the decisions she made in her past. It's obvious that the writers not only wanted to focus on the evolution this case had over the years, but on how Emily was handling her own demons from her past. What's really interesting is why they decided to choose this specific case for this specific episode. They used such an emblematic Hotchniss episode to include Emily's doubt about dating Andrew Mendoza? Coincidence? I don't think so. 

JJ mentioned this during the episode, and she was definitely not wrong: 

This conversation between Emily and Andrew gives me an incredible amount of deja vu. It kind of reminds me of 5x02, how concerned she was for Hotch. And how she wasn't sure it was such a great idea for him to return back to work. 

What really gets me is when Andrew says “what's one more scar“. I truly believe the CM crew wrote this on purpose, to somehow create a hidden reference about Hotch. With Foyet and his 9 stab wounds, all the issues later on regarding his internal bleeding because of the scar tissue. It just completely makes sense to me. 

I was completely in awe when she couldn't remember that case. How is she going to forget that moment? When it was such a decisive one for her? She almost sacrificed her career in the FBI trying to save his. It just doesn't make any sense to me that she'd forget an important moment like that. Unless she chose to forget, for her own sake. Which would make sense, after hearing all her love quotes/phrases from these last seasons. She was definitely still in love with Hotch, but trying her hardest to move on. 

Even JJ couldn't believe that she didn't remembered. Just look at her exasperated face haha.

We've seen before that in these last few seasons, every time someone mentions Hotch's name, Emily does an unusual face expression. It feels almost involuntary. And this time was no exception. It's like all her memories about Hotch were coming back to her. 

In this scene, the team is talking about the kid (who turned out to be the unsub), but somehow, part of me feels that she was remembering Hotch, just by looking at that painful expression she made. The way she couldn't even finish the sentence, makes this scene even more powerful. Emily wished she had kept in touch with Hotch after the whole Peter Lewis incident, but she knew that it was for the best that she didn't. A few weeks later after this, she starts talking about parallel universes and to me is just her simple way of saying that maybe in another life or in another time, they could've ended up together, but unfortunately there was always something that pushed them apart (Doyle, her resign from the FBI at the end of s7, Peter Lewis).

Also, Emily makes the same face expression as the one she has at the end of 13x01, when JJ asks her if Hotch was coming back. She looks down, to the side, anywhere that doesn't include making eye contact. It's as if she knew that her eyes could give her away. That right there, turned out to be her real tell. 

Was she channeling Hotch? Didn't I just made a post a few days ago about how the binoculars where Hotch's favorite gadget? I think is the first time I've seen her using them in 14 seasons.

This moment right here, has a deeper and more significant meaning than what she lets on. The first time I saw this scene, it reminded me of the whole Doyle arc. Especially when she says: “It is more about remembering what I was intended to do, and reconciling with what I had to do“. If she had confided in the team, but especially in Hotch, things would certainly have turned out differently, and that's a thing she has to live with forever: the uncertainty of not knowing what would've happened and how much her life would've changed, if she had trusted her team during that moment. If she had trusted her instincts. If she had trusted Hotch💔

And that's what haunts her, how different her live would be right now if she had trusted her instincts. 

But, would she have been able to save him? To save Hotch? “I might have changed things for him” I truly believe she's talking about how if she had stayed, if she had done things differently with Doyle, if she had trusted her team instead of running away to protect them, she would've been able to continue helping him like she did after Haley died (which we know was the obvious reason for his speedy recovery). They would have had the relationship we know they both wanted, and maybe he wouldn't have had to face Mr. Scratch alone. Maybe not even face him at all. 

That's what she's really afraid of, why she can't move on. The endless possibilities, the what ifs.

This last scene with Andrew SCREAMS Hotchniss to me. Those scars Emily's referring to? She's obviously talking about Hotch. I'm going to sound cliche but hear me out. How was she expected to move on when she practically had to live with a ghost? Hotch's presence was felt everywhere she went. Her new office, the round table room, the jet. As I've mentioned before, their relationship was much more deeper than both of them would ever like to admit. And of course, that would result in her scars taking a lot longer to heal. 

I think that what affected her the most was Hotch's decision not to return to the BAU. It was something she was clearly never expecting. Not after everything they've been through.

Before this scene, she says something about not being sure dating in this line of work was the right thing for her. She was just fine with Mark during s11, wasn't she? So what event could've happened to her during s12-14 that drastically changed her perspective? I'm putting all my money in Hotch and her disappointment when learning he wasn't returning. 

[spencerhotchner]

Alternative {spencer reid}

Chapter 2

summary: Since quarentine was announced, Y/N decided to rewatch all seasons of Criminal Minds. On a lonely night she wished she could be in that universe instead of this. What happens when she wakes up in 2008 in Quantico?

warnings: angst, a very confused reader, regular cm stuff and my grammar (if you find anything else pls lmk) 

word count: 2.1k

a/n: ok, i am really excited about this series. and really thankful that y'all are liking it. also, i hope you will enjoy this chapter as much as y'all did the last one! it didn't end up as long as i wanted it it but ig its ok right.

series masterlist

part 1 | part 2

You could hear some familiar voices on the background as you began to regain conciseness, voices you could identify anywhere. You kept your eye shut for a while, feeling the tiredness and dizziness your body was screaming at you despite the fact that you have been unconscious, and on the floor apparently. Even though you're head was still too slow to think straight, you noticed that your face mask wasn't on you anymore. 

“Who is she?” you heard the familiar voice of Shamar, or Morgan, given the circumstances. 

“Apparently she knows me.” that was Spencer’s turn to speak. 

“I met her this morning.” JJ states, you could only imagine the faces they would be making at her, wondering how and why. “I bumped into her walking on the street, she seemed pretty confused but yet she still knew who I was.” 

“Well, that’s weird.” Emily said.

When you finally decided to open them, you felt like you were still dream. Once again you found yourself asking what was going on. Why was the whole cast of Criminal Minds standing there simple staring at you and why were they acting like their characters? Out of the two explanations that came to your mind at the moment, only one made any sense. I was a tv prank, it could only be. There would be no other logical reason to it, other wise. 

“Are you ok?” Hotch asks, offering a hand. 

You stared at him trying to figure out what to say, but without saying a word you took his hands and got up. The whole team was looking at you, with weird expressions. You felt almost like you were an unsub, you hated being stared. 

“Yes, I mean, no!” you say. “Is this a prank of something? Because, damn, you guys went too far down with it. Fuck!” you say, finally snapping. 

“I’m afraid I don't know what you are talking about.” Rossi said. 

You tried not to but as soon as you realized you already had a big sarcastic expression on your face. How wouldn't they? They were tv stars and they were clearly acting, you've seen it. 

“Oh, you're not?” you said, as sarcastic as you could be. “Ok, let me enlighten you all, since you ‘don’t know what i’m talking about?’. I woke up in this freaking random apartment by myself wearing the exact same thing I was wearing the night before.” 

“...and where is the part we fit in there?” he replies. 

You ignored him, sighing and trying to push your anxiety down. 

“As I was saying, I was wearing the exact same thing and I was in Bellevue, in Washington state. I have no idea who decided to pull this off but as much as I love the show, I am not enjoying this.” you say, looking around trying to find cameras. 

They all kept staring at you, Rossi was the only one who didn't seem worried about, it was like he thought you were on drugs or just delusional. You were even starting to believe in that. JJ and Spencer kept staring at each other, possibly trying to figure out what was going on, and how you knew them. 

“You believe you were abducted, then?” Hotch finally says something. 

You sigh again, trying to be patience. All you wanted was to go home, when you said you wanted to meet the cast - all the hundreds of times you said it, you didn’t mean this. You closed your eyes, because suddenly all you wanted to do was cry. You couldn't count how many times you imagined this happening and it was being just awful. You hated being confused, lost and being pictured as crazy. 

“No, Agent Hotchner” you spilled his name, sarcastically. “I am sure.”

He looked at you without much expression - as usual, but you could tell he was superseded you knew him, just as much as the team. Morgan step forward, walking towards you. You stared at him, trying to remain calm. 

“Listen, we can't help you if you don't let us.” he said. “Can you tell us your name?”

God, don't they realize this is funny? I do not wanna be acting, some pictures would do the job just as fine. 

“Y/N Y/L/N” you say as you watch Rossi give Garcia a look making her nod and direct herself to her ‘cave’, certainly to search you up. 

“Alright, you have someone we can contact with?” JJ asks. 

You nodded, yes you did. But they wouldn't pick up the phone, as you tried multiple times this morning on the old cellphone. What if something happened to them? This was all so confusing. 

“But she won’t pick up the phone, I tried.” you said.

Once again, you caught yourself wondering what was going on. And that was the moment you kind of got what was happening. Would it be possible that you shifted to this universe? Maybe this wasn't all a prank and your wish had just became true. You probably should've thought about it before asking for it. At once it hit you, what you said to your friend just last night. 

“What is something you would want to do right now?” your best friend asked you, leaning a bit towards you, laughing drunkly.

“Um, I’d really like to be in Criminal Minds right now.” you say laughing as you best friend rolled her eyes. “No, listen! I’d love to meet Spencer Reid and I don't know, it just sounds better than quarantine.”

“Yeah, sure, because serial killers are just not bad at all, huh?” she laughed. 

Maybe this was true, maybe you did shifted. And if you did, you sure sounded like a crazy person, and probably a stalker. You looked around trying to figure out if you could sit somewhere, it all became took much for you mind at that moment. 

“Can I sit... Can I sit somewhere?” you asked, probably looking as ill as you sounded.

You watched as Reid rushed to bring the chair. You set down trying to figure out how you'd leave there, and how you'd shift back. Staring at them you felt your heart warm a little, you dreamed about this for so long - as it was all it was, a dream, until now, at least. 

Before you could say a word you watched Penelope come back and whisper in Rossi’s ear, probably what she found out about you. Which, maybe was everything, since you had no reasons to hide a thing about your life, which was quite boring, in fact. 

“Who are you?” Rossi says, like he’s ready to arrest you.

“I-I already told you.” you answer. “I’m Y/N.”

If you needed any proof about what was going on that was it. It was like you did not even exist, like you weren't real. She probably didn’t find anything because you’re not from this universe.

“Alright. What can we do for you, Y/N?” Morgan asks.

“I need to go home.” you let it out. “I don't know how I ended up here in Quantico.”

Garcia stares ate you, almost like she felt pity about your situation while the rest of them kept a suspicious look at you. It’s not like you blame them, anyways, you would think it’s weird for somebody to come out of nowhere knowing your name and claiming to be pranked. 

While you were sitting there, with all those eyes at you, you thought that maybe giving up and trying to figure it all out by yourself maybe would be better. How would they help you, anyways? It is not like they could send you back. And it is also not like you didn't actually wish for this. 

There are some wishes that are entirely rhetorical. 

“You know what? I’m good.” you fake a smile, obviously. “I’m just gonna go.” 

You stoop up fast, not giving them much time to contest you. Spencer looked confused, more than any of the others, for some reason. Maybe he was just curious on how you knew him, or JJ. Either way, you wouldn't know. 

Hotch looked at you, wondering your action. Why were you so desperate at one time and tried to pull off as if it was ok? It was definitely not ok. Your smile looked fake, your body seemed tense and your eyes looked as lost as he could think someone could be, as he has seen a lot of lost eyes. 

“Thank you, for your attention, though.” you say. “I’m sorry for taking your time agents.” 

You stormed out of there, not even realizing that you left your jacket in there. How could you? Not when you ran out of there as if your live depended on it. You let a sigh out as you got out of the building, not even noticing when the tears started to come down at your cheeks. 

At that moment you didn't care at all about where you were, you set on the floor, letting the tears roll down and the sobs come out. You never wished to be away from your reality, it only seemed nice in your dreams. Right now, all you wanted was to go home and hug your parents, or even just see them. You felt lost, as lost as a five year old who can't find his mommy at the park. 

You got scared as you felt a big hand touch your shoulders. As your turn, to see who was it, Spencer looked as nice as you could ever picture him to, or see on the screens. His face resembles worry, like he was actually wondering what happened to you and why where you there. 

“I believe this is yours.” he hands you your jacket. 

You stare at him before.

“Yes, thank you.” you wipe the tears away. 

“No- No problem.” he said, sitting by your side. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah.” you answered looking away. 

“You don't have to lie to me.” he said, as you looked back at him. “I wanna help you, but I can only do that if you cooperate with me.”

Why would he?

“I don't know where I am. I mean, I do know but I don't know how I ended up here. I understand what is going on, I did after a while but I don't know how to change this situation. I don't know how to go back home.” you said. 

Not like he’ll understand, anyways.

"Maybe... Maybe me and my team could help you figure it out?” he tries. 

“I doubt it.” you shake your shoulders. “I know that you guys are awesome at your job, don't get me wrong, to be honest I’m quite the big fan.” you laughed a bit. “But it’s just out of hand.” 

He stops, looking at you. Gave up offering help, you were not accepting he felt it. No, he knew it. It was his job to know what body language was telling him, anyways. He didn't want to stare at you, but he felt like he needed to. He was stuck at your looks, so pretty, yet so lost. 

“If we can't help you, is there anything I can do for you?” he asks. 

You looked right into his eyes. Thinking, if you should say it. Maybe so, it wouldn't kill you, it was not like it was the real world of something, well maybe it was but you couldn't care less. All you wanted was somewhere to stay this night and figure out how to get back.

“I do need a place to stay tonight.” you say, smiling little at him. 

He had a weird look on his face when you said that, like he wasn't expecting it. Because he wasn't. That moment he considered himself a crazy man, because he knew the risks and yet was up for it.

“Uh, ok.” 

Taglist: @feverdreamreid @andromedasstarship @paulaern @theetherealbloom @thatsonezesty13 @reidsalvez​ @pieceofreid @nymeria-targaryen​ @greeny-kitten​ @peppermintnight @notebookgirl30​ @2sarvinem @holding-on-to-my-youth​ @mggsprettygirl​ @iifloweringnightsii​ @iidontgiveafuckuniverse​ @mcntsee​

[yellowocaballero]

The Crocodile's Dilemma: In Which Helen exploits Michael's Labor, Michael suffers an un-identity crisis, and unpaid internships should be illegal

It’s tough being a teenage embodiment of the Spiral. Your boss/wine aunt figure Helen’s a Tory, your inattentive cousin figure Mike Crew keeps attending philosophy classes and day drinking, and you’re pretty sure that this internship doesn’t have any dental. At least it’s good job experience for your future career in...being evil? But do you even want to be evil?

This small story is technically part of my Roleswap AU, but I specifically wrote it so that no knowledge is required. Still, if you’re wondering why Michael’s an eighteen(ish) year old, Mike Crew’s an Avatar of the Spiral, and everybody is obsessed with Melanie King, check it out. Still, no need. Rest under the cut.

Maybe Helen was right.

Not that Helen was ever strictly right, much as Helen was never wrong, but Michael just had to be doing this whole fear demon thing incorrectly. If someone had explained the whole fear demon thing to them two years ago (“Okay, so it’s like you’re the semi-sentient appendage of an extradimensional force of evil that has to consume trauma relentlessly in order to propagate its own debatable existence, also you’re nonbinary now, no those things are not strictly related, probably”), then they would have called them crazy. Which, of course, they were, but that wasn’t the point. So long as the point existed. So long as anything -

An essential theorem within quantum physics was the quantum Zeno effect. 

Simply put, it was the fact that a quantum state would decay if left alone, but does not decay under continuous observation. Even observing the results after the photon is produced leads to collapsing the wave function and loading a back-history as shown by delayed choice quantum eraser. If something was seen, it no longer existed; if something persisted unperceived, it would exist as long as it liked. 

So it was explained to Michael by the physics professor he was torturing that day. Michael had trapped the man in the physics building of his university, lured in by one too many late nights in his office and the persistent sense that his life was going nowhere meaningful. After a few classes spent sitting in on his Physics 101 class, maintaining constant and forever eye contact, Michael had eventually tricked the man into giving a persistent and ongoing physics lecture to an empty classroom, desperately trying to explain the inexplicable to a college freshman who did not care. Truly miserable, yet ultimately harmless - Michael’s favorite kind of trick. 

But, despite themself, Michael grew interested. They didn’t understand any of what the man was talking about, but that was all of the fun. Understanding ruined the magic of things; broke down the beauty of the universe into cogs and gears. No thanks. They could tell that it bothered the professor, that he said so much and yet knew nothing. That there was so much he would never know, and that he wasn’t so smart after all. How would any of his colleagues respect him?

“So photons degrade if they’re observed?” Michael asked one day, after...some period of time. They had raised their hand and everything, they were so proud of themself. Uni was just like secondary school after all. “Is that true of people too?”

The professor had sweated, deeply uncomfortable with Michael as a person and as a non-euclidean concept. “No - no, not at all. Humans are much more than photons -”

Michael grinned. It wasn’t quite right. “Are you sure?”

The professor sweated harder. “I - no, I’m not. But humans are constantly observed by - by the universe, or something.”

Michael grinned sharper. “Are you sure? Are you being observed right now? Are you sure?”

And the professor was not sure, not anymore, and the fragment of this man’s reality collapsed. 

Well, Michael thought to themself, slipping out of an improbable yellow door, that’s another Statement for the Magnus Institute. Not that they would read it. 

****

“Now, remember this - the first step to being a successful Avatar is presentation!”

Michael squinted at Helen dubiously. “I thought we were fear demons?”

Helen sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose with two sharp knife fingers. It looked as if it hurt quite a bit, but Michael reasoned that they had probably gone through the fifth dimension. “This is the stupidest dimension - fine, fine! Fear demons, then. It is absolutely vital that we conduct our business with style, grace, and the slightest sprinkling of pizazz!” 

Just for the flourish, Helen twirled her fingers, and a faint shower of confetti came raining down from the ceiling. Michael sneezed. 

“I thought it was vital that we harvest fear and trauma from people to propagate our cursed existence,” Michael said. 

Helen’s eyebrow twitched. “More than two things can be vital, Michael. Please pay attention. Now, as a demonstration, I’d like you to take a gander at that man over there.”

Obediently, Michael looked across the bar. They were sitting on barstools in a high-class pub, because Helen knew her worth and never settled for anything less, with glass counters and lots of private booths. But all pubs had their sad men drinking alone, and this one was no exception. 

This man wasn’t sullen and slow like a lot of them. He was wearing a nice suit and thin tie, looking straight out of Canary Wharf. Michael silently agreed with Helen’s choice - they took eat the rich very seriously, and also literally. He also seemed a little jumped up on something, with shaking hands and erratic eyes. 

“He looks happy,” Michael observed. “Think it’s his birthday?”

“He’s on cocaine, Michael,” Helen said flatly. “Cocaine. We are at a posh bar, and he is currently doing a line off his watch.”

Oh! Michael suddenly felt very uncool. They had never been one of those people in secondary school who did cocaine. They hadn’t been cool. “I knew that,” Michael bluffed. “What are we going to do to him?”

“Take the teenager as your intern, they said,” Helen groused, “it’s investing in the future, they said, it’ll stop them from eating you when they grow up, they said.” She sighed, jabbing a finger at the now very obviously coked up man who was staring at the bottles behind the bartender as if they were whispering secrets of the universe into his ear. Helen liked that one. “Use your intuition. Find a good angle to squeeze. What are his weaknesses to exploit?”

Oh, Michael knew how to do this. They shifted vibrations just a bit, dropping out of what Michael liked to call the ‘mild’ spectrum into the ‘spicy’ spectrum. They were distantly aware of a patron’s glass shattering. 

They squinted at the man, picking out his little fears and insecurities like Dionysus picking grapes. Maybe. Michael had gotten a C in English, but they were somewhat cognizant of the Spiral munching heavily on Bacchanalia. Sometimes they felt like some of those children who spoke in tongues and claimed to be from a past life. That had also been the Spiral.

“He owns a Nintendo NES,” Michael said confidently, absolutely sure that this was important. Helen groaned. “His house is painted white, and his girlfriend does tax fraud.”

“Something relevant?” Helen hinted desperately.

Michael just squinted at her. “Relevant to what?”

“...good point. But something useful, please.”

Picky. Michael scowled, but gave the man another good gander. “He only remembers faint details of his father’s face, and he worries that his recollections aren’t accurate,” Michael proclaimed finally. 

Helen clapped, delighted, as Michael took a careful sip of their water, turning it into fizzy water. She took a sip of her own wine, turning it into champagne. Or maybe just sparkling unreality? “Wonderful. Now, how should we play this? Insert a false father into his life, completely separate from his recollections, or is that a bit too Stranger? I suppose we could do some good old-fashioned gaslighting, but sometimes that’s just a bit too Melanie, if you catch my drift -”

“Are you jealous that the Archive girls are better at gaslighting than you are?” 

“Shut it, kid,” Helen hissed, before taking a long drag of her champagne. “My vote is that we convince him to top off his coke bender with some LSD. Then he hallucinates - oh, he hallucinates that he’s in a mental institution, that’s a good one -”

“Why don’t we shift everything thirty cm to the right?” Michael asked brightly.

Helen squinted at them. They beamed back. 

“You are so bad at this,” Helen said. 

Michael would have felt crushed if Helen didn’t express this sentiment roughly once per lunar cycle, contrariwise. As it was, they bore the criticism with a stiff upper lip. Helen had her way of harvesting fear from unsuspecting humans, and Michael had theirs. “Look, Helen, you’re being uncreative! We don’t have to traumatize people every single time.”

Helen squinted further. “We’re personifications of deceit. We eat trauma.”

“No, we eat confusion,” Michael pointed out patiently. “Look at it this way. If you give someone one really terrible experience, then they repress it for the rest of their lives and consider it a brush with Hell. One and done, see? But if you minorly inconvenience them for a really long time, then they’ll never be able to break out of it. They’ll feel as if something’s wrong, but they’ll never know it. You can keep the game going for years that way!”

The idea was very good. Michael had been working on it for a while. Truth be told, Michael felt bad traumatizing people outright and making them scream and cry and everything. They always felt as if they were doing something wrong by making other people’s existences a living nightmare. Michael much preferred rigging a corn maze so you were stuck in it for days inside the maze but only an hour outside. It was funner, and much more confusing. 

But Helen just pursed her lips and stared Michael up and down, making them squirm awkwardly on their barstool. Finally, as if she was delivering a life sentence, she imperiously said, “Well, we all have our different styles, I suppose! It would be quite boring if we were both exactly the same.” Michael nodded vigorously at this, and Helen held up a scaly claw. “But! You’re my intern, which means that you’re learning from the master here. So shut up and let me teach you how to ruin lives.”

“Yes, boss,” Michael said miserably. 

Helen tsked, but she patted them on the head anyway. It tasted like batteries. “Honestly, kid. A literal bleeding heart’s fun for the whole family, but a metaphorical bleeding heart will get you nowhere in life. You can’t exist as you are and feel bad for them. It ruins the point. It’s a paradox.”

“I thought we liked paradoxes, though?”

Helen shrugged, downing the rest of her wine. “Rules for thee but not for me, honey. But I’m a good boss and drunken aunt figure, so I’ll appease you today. Now come on, let’s convince this bar to vote for Brexit.”

They did. It was quite fun after all, tricking a roomful of people into doing something actively against their own interests. But something about the whole thing left a strange taste in Michael’s mouth: not the good kind of strange, or the bad kind of strange that was also good. Just strange, and undeniable, and something that couldn’t be exploited at all. 

****

Maybe Helen was right. 

Not that Helen was ever strictly right, much as Helen was never wrong, but Michael just had to be doing this whole fear demon thing incorrectly. If someone had explained the whole fear demon thing to them two years ago (“Okay, so it’s like you’re the semi-sentient appendage of an extradimensional force of evil that has to consume trauma relentlessly in order to propagate its own debatable existence, also you’re nonbinary now, no those things are not strictly related, probably”), then they would have called them crazy. Which, of course, they were, but that wasn’t the point. So long as the point existed. So long as anything -

Michael was a bad fear demon of the Spiral and Infinite Twisting and That Is Not What It Is and The Twisted Door, etc, etc, All Fear Its Name, etc etc all Hail, because they didn’t always like how their internal monologue could no longer be described through common language. Words and images and understandings were nothing but approximations for Michael now, and sometimes it was frustrating existing outside the boundaries of understanding. Which, of course, was the point, so long as the point existed, so long as anything existed -

It wasn’t always easy. Still, nobody ever got what they wanted if they weren’t willing to put the effort in. The adult world and labouring under capitalism wasn’t easy for anybody. That was what Mum had always said. Who was Michael to complain about their 9-5? Or 24/24? Or infinite/infinite? Or nothing/nothing? Or -

Was it too much to ask to have a linear thought once in a while? 

Helen wouldn’t understand. There were only two other approximations of concepts that Michael knew, and Helen would hardly be any help. The other “person” would probably be a better sounding board, but there was the fact that he was kind of pretentious. Still, it was better than nothing. Well, it was nothing, but only in the sense that everything was - argh!

A yellow door appeared in a nondescript basement, and Michael appeared with it. They melted out of the “wood”, taking a second to check their outfit for this apparition - a nice vintage 50s dress with a painstaking stitch that reminded one of the oppressive nature of housewifery, nice. They elongated their curly blonde hair from a roguish mop into a nice little shag and melted into the crowd. 

It must have been a passing period, because Michael was buffeted to and fro by tall white men wearing backpacks and shorter white girls hoisting strangely identical water bottles. Somewhere Northern, Michael decided, likely private and small. Not that it strictly mattered, but it helped to solidify their grip in reality a bit if they had some idea. They already knew geography was purposeless and a distraction from the real issues, like shrimp, but occasionally it could be useful. Helen had been careful to impart the central tenet of existence as a non-euclidean concept in undefinable space in the twenty seventh dimension: location, location, location!

It was obviously the Philosophy Department, because all philosophy classes were held in old basements built in the ‘60s in identical hallways. For kicks, Michael turned all of the school hallways inwards and sent them in a mobius strip, and changed all of the door numbers into a headache. The key to enjoying your job was to take initiative in the workplace environment and to just have fun with it!

Michael found themselves in front of a door identical to all of the others, with fake laminated wood, and they decided to go in. The universe had guided them to this door for a reason, and who were they to reject its call? 

The small classroom was like most other small, private colleges in unpopular departments that nobody cared about. Lots of single person desks - Michael snapped their fingers and turned them all into left-handed desks - complete with a smartboard and a teacher’s podium. It was already half-full, so Michael carefully slid into a chair in the back and pretended that they had been there all along. A student wandered close, convinced that this was her seat, but Michael successfully convinced her that a different seat near the front was hers, prompting an impromptu game of musical chairs that sent ripples through the otherwise sedate classroom.

There was a blond student already sitting in the front, flipping through a spiral notebook and clicking a pen in no particular pattern. He was wearing a pea coat, jeans, and his hair was weirdly perfect. Michael wished they had a notebook. Was this what you did in university? They had never had the opportunity to go. 

Actually, they had never quite graduated secondary - three months away from graduation, actually. It probably wasn’t all that important. You didn’t really need a diploma to become a trauma eating fear demon. Was there a university of eating fear? That would be funny. What would the classes be in, ‘Enforcing the Powerlessness of Capitalism 101’? What was the difference between that and a Business major? 

Maybe Business majors were the real fear demons, Michael thought grandly. It was a good thought, they would have to remember to tell it to Melanie later. Melanie would approve. Hadn’t Tim been a business major? Yeah, in that case she would definitely approve. 

The student sitting in the front seemed to have finally noticed the game of musical chairs, and as the professor started clearing their throat and announcing something unimportant to the class, he turned around to find Michael sitting in the back of the class. They waved cheerfully. The student scowled. 

‘What are you doing here!’, the guy mouthed angrily. 

‘Hi Mike!’ Michael mouthed back. 

‘Go away!’ Mike mouthed back. 

‘But I’m going to eat your teacher :(‘ Michael mouthed back. They didn’t actually frown. 

‘ >:(!’, Mike Crew mouthed back, also without changing his facial expression. 

This was probably why Mike wasn’t Michael’s biggest fan. Which was a pity, because Michael thought Mike was really cool. He had the coolest name, for one. But shorter, and snappier. Mike was the kind of name girls would call you at clubs. Michael was what, like, your Mum would say as she yelled at you to clean up your room before her book club girls came over. Why were they girls? They were, like, fifty.

Mike Crew was an Avatar of the Spiral completely unwillingly. Chosen as a child and chased throughout his life by an improbably long lasting Lichtenberg scar, he had eventually succumbed to the inevitable and transformed into an even more improbable man. Personally, Michael found it strange that ‘inevitable’ and ‘Spiral’ was in the same sentence, but - well, it had to be everything at one point. Even a melting clock was right once an endless twilight. 

Strangest of all, Mike Crew was a philosophy major. The class, of course, was a high level philosophy course. Mike Crew had been in uni - well, a while - and he tended not to waste his time with the boring shit anymore. Michael listened with interest as the professor dived into the lecture. 

Two minutes in, Mike subtly gathered his things and slipped into the conveniently empty chair next to Michael. He was still glaring at them, as Michael tried their best to look innocent and cute. The effect was a little ruined by the inherent maliciousness of Michael’s pores, but they liked to think it was the thought that counted. 

“To continue our conversation on the topic of paradoxes,” the professor began, “I’d like to introduce a few thought experiments for your consideration as a class. I’ll mention the concept, and then allow you to break into pairs to discuss them.”

Mike leaned into Michael’s ear. “We were discussing Descartes!”

“But isn’t this more interesting?” Michael asked. 

“If you give my professor a mental breakdown we’re going to fall behind on the syllabus!”

“The first paradox I’d like to bring to your attention is the Crocodile’s Dilemma.” The professor flipped to a new slide, which helpfully had a big crocodile on it. Michael admired it. They had seen a crocodile at the zoo once. “Similar to the liar’s paradox, the premise states that a crocodile, who has stolen a child, promises the parent that his or her child will be returned if and only if he or she correctly predicts what the crocodile will do next. The outcome is fairly obvious if the parent states that the crocodile will return the child, but the crocodile faces a dilemma if the parent states that the crocodile will not return the child. No matter the outcome, the crocodile is made a liar: if  the crocodile decides to not give back the child then the statement proves to be true, and he ought to return the child, thereby making it false. Whatever the outcome, he still violates his terms.”

Michael raised their hand. Mike forcibly lowered their hand. 

“If I give your professor a mental breakdown then you’ll have extra time for the test,” Michael whispered back. Mike seriously considered this notion.

“The next paradox is slightly related,” the professor continued. “The Infinite Hotel Paradox.” Michael’s face stretched into a grin as Mike Crew groaned. “It is demonstrated that a fully occupied hotel with infinitely many rooms may still accommodate additional guests, even infinitely many of them, and this process may be repeated infinitely often. This is what we call a veridical paradox: it leads to a counter-intuitive result that is provably true. Therefore -”

“Okay, yeah,” Mike Crew said, slumping in his seat. “You can eat him, this guy is just begging for it.” 

“Yay!” Michael went in for the hug, before Mike pushed them away. Michael’s quest for a cool big brother failed yet again. “Do you want to call the -”

“They’re your hallways,” Mike said, persnickety as always. Maybe he was just jealous that he wasn’t a hallway? 

Michael raised their hand, patiently waiting for the professor to call on them. He stumbled in the middle of his lecture, adjusting his thick glasses. 

“Uh, yes, Miss -”

“You no longer understand gender,” Michael said pleasantly, as they always did whenever they were misgendered. It was an understandable mistake, so they didn’t do it maliciously. Frankly, they just thought it was healthy. Everyone should not understand false things. “Professor, I have a question about the Crocodile’s Dilemma.” They waited for the professor to nod, somewhat confused. “How do you know that didn’t really happen?”

The professor blinked lethargically at them. “It’s a thought experiment. It’s not real, it’s just an idea proposed by philosophers to represent -”

“What makes you so sure?” Michael asked cheerfully. “Crocodiles eat babies. Or dingoes. I think I read a story about this happening in Australia, didn’t you?”

“I - I suppose I did, yes -”

“We wouldn’t talk about it if it didn’t really happen.” Michael felt their voice fall into a rising lilt, like an attractive song that was played to a concert hall but heard only by you. They were distantly aware of Mike lulling the rest of the students into their own hazy daze: aware enough to be confused, but trapped in their seats and the fog of misunderstandings. “Fiction isn’t real. Reality is real. But a thought experiment is in between, isn’t it? Something that strains the boundaries of reality, that proves the fundamental concepts of life, told through a framework of an intrinsic lie. A paradox is a lie telling the truth. You are a truth speaker telling only lies. What you know isn’t so much as anything at all, is it? What do you really know, anyway?”

“One of us tells only the truth and the other tells only lies,” Mike Crew called out, bored. But his eyes were shining in endless refraction, infinite rooms holding infinite guests. “But is it really a lie if you had mistaken it for the truth? What lies are you living, Dr. Young?”

Dr. Young was stammering, eyes swimming, and Michael didn’t dare to break eye contact. It was a delicate spell they wove, but Michael wasn’t so bad at bringing this simmer to a boil. Cooking was about improvisation, and Michael had always been great at that. 

“If your life is a lie,” Michael breathed, “then are you really alive?”

It was clear, when it happened: the professor started inhaling deep, deeper breaths, chest wracking with heaves. His eyes rolled up in his head, he clutched at his chest, and he finally slumped down on the floor. He twitched, jerking slightly, and he would continue jerking. At which point the students would become aware, and they’d call an ambulance for him, and he would be perfectly alright in the end. If a little mentally scarred. 

“Damn,” Mike Crew said, almost impressed, as both he and Michael stood up. He shoved his pens in a backpack, glad to be free of his examination for another week. “What’d you do to him?”

“Made him think he was dead,” Michael said serenely. “He thought his heart had stopped beating so he had a panic attack. He’s going to have to make an appointment with a psychiatrist but he probably should anyway, work’s very stressful for him.”

“Guess I have the rest of the hour off,” Mike sighed, as he held the door open for Michael so they could slip out of the back of the classroom. It was yellow, and a little strange.  “Want to grab a pint with me at the campus pub?” He paused a beat. “Wait, are you even old enough to drink?”

“I’m as old as eternity and reborn every second.” Michael paused a beat. “But I was eighteen last time I checked, and I’ll probably be eighteen for a while, so yes?”

“Great, let’s roll. I need a drink.”

****

Mike’s uni’s pub (Michael had asked the name of the uni but the information had, unfortunately, been lost in next Tuesday, so they’ll know then) was the exact opposite of the high class pub Helen had taken them to. Instead of glassy, shiny, and chromey, Mike’s pub looked strongly as if very many people had puked in it and the staff had tackled the problem somewhat half-heartedly. Michael enjoyed the sight of the puke existing in all points in time simultaneously, giving it a sort of weird yellow-ish shine. Actually, maybe all puke had that yellowish sheen?

When they asked Mike about it as they hopped up on the bar, he just sighed. He flagged the bartender down for a pint, and when the bartender squinted dubiously at Michael they revelled into the micro-confusion of ambiguous ages. Micro-feeding? Like mini muffins?

“Helen made a mistake hiring you. She’s stuck us with a perpetual teenager.”

“I’m as much a teenager as you are a uni student,” Michael said pointedly. 

“I’m not an embodiment of the It Is What It Isn’t Is,” Mike said, oddly aggressively. “I’m just a normal Avatar.”

“Fear demon.”

“Melanie King isn’t always right and I don’t know why everyone thinks she is.” Big words from an honored Special Guest on her show. There were many in the fear demon community who would kill for the honor. It was a good thing she hated intruders in her Archives - otherwise they’d never leave. “But I’m no different from - that douche Peter Lukas or that stoner Elias Bouchard or that btich Annabelle, okay? I’m just a guy. Who eats trauma. Plenty of guys do that.”

“Very good denial of reality!” Michael approved. “Normally Helen tells me to go further into denying reality as a concept, though.”

“God, you hallway people are impossible to have a normal conversation with.” Mike huffed, clearly not as irritated as his words would imply. Michael also approved of the incongruity. “I’m assuming that you’re here for absolutely no reason and that you have no idea why or how you ended up at my uni.”

Michael shifted uncomfortably. “Actually, I am here for a reason.” At Mike’s extreme surprise, they hurriedly clarified, “Not with any goal, meaning, or intention in mind! But I just wanted to talk about something to someone who wasn’t technically another facet of my meaningless whole. Helen and I are as index and ring fingers on the same hand, but we don’t really get each other sometimes, you know?”

“Does that make you the pinky finger?”

“I actually had a hypothetical for you.” At Mike’s nod, Michael snagged a napkin from the stack on the sticky bar and began creasing it, somewhat anxiously. “Let’s say, hypothetically, you were a teenagerish nongendered sentient hallway intern who happens to eat trauma.”

“This isn’t much of a hypothetical,” Mike said flatly. 

“I’m a hypothetical person. And I’m only a person hypothetically.” Michael started making little folds in the napkin, twisting it up into a strange origami. “So, let’s say, hypothetically, that this person - their name is Michael - enjoyed being them. It wasn’t always fun, and sometimes they kind of missed the world making sense, or at least not making sense in a familiar way. And sometimes Michael got tired of being a sentient hallway and wanted to finish secondary. And maybe even sometimes Michael grows sad that both their parents were eaten by their new boss, who is kind of a Tory! But that’s all fine. Michael’s probably happier like this than they ever were even when they did have parents.”

Mike Crew stared at them a little, slowly sipping his pint. 

Michael hunched their shoulders, and folded up the napkin further and further. They had read somewhere that any piece of paper can only be folded seven times. They folded the napkin seven times, then eight, then nine, then ten. That was something nice about the way things were now, they supposed: no rules, absolute freedom. Only rules, no freedom. That was what Dr. Yung would call a paradox. “But maybe the worst part about this new job is that Michael doesn’t really like hurting people. Sometimes it’s fun to randomly make people very upset, and you always kind of end up doing it anyway, but after a while Michael feels kind of bad about it. Michael likes doing other things better, like making terrible roundabouts and rearranging the pages of books. Maybe they even like reading books. They like reading comic books backwards, from the last page to the first, so every panel is a surprise.”

“There’s lots of ways to be a fear demon,” Mike pointed out, almost gently. Maybe only because he could relate. “Look at me. I’m not feeding off anyone. Just myself.”

“But I like the way I do it,” Michael said, frustrated. “Helen keeps trying to get me to do it the way she does it, but the point is that we aren’t the same. What’s the point in having two of us if both our viewpoints are the same? We’re different in every way, but we’re the same being. I just want to be the Spiral the way I want. Not the way Helen wants.” Their voice lowered, almost unwilling to say what they were about to say. “Not the way the Spiral wants.”

Mike stared at them for a long time, slowly sipping his beer, and Michael focused their efforts on forcing this improbable napkin into something that could be beautiful. A lotus flower? A mobius strip? Or should they just let it happen as it happens, and see what form it decided to take? 

Finally, Mike said, “You are the Spiral.”

“Then why am I always disagreeing with it?” Michael asked miserably. 

“Why are you, Helen, and the Spiral always disagreeing?” Mike pointed out. “Maybe that’s the point. So much as anything’s a point. Isn’t it the most perfect paradox of all, to split yourself into portions that are always disagreeing and bickering? Maybe everything you’re feeling is on purpose. I mean, it’s kind of improbable that you’re feeling at all, right?”

“I retained a lot of humanity,” Michael said. “Maybe a bit too much, actually?”

“Right.” Mike nodded decisively. “Then that’s the appeal. A human mind will always strain against its confines. It will always want different, want the same, want the old and the new and the perpetual and the fleeting and the eternity and the moment. What’s more nonsensical than a human? What’s more contradictory than human nature?” A dark shadow passed over his face, just for a second. “The Spiral kidnaps us and turns us into it. One part of our minds is entrenched in its eternity, and another part is always screaming in agony. But predominantly we are the unholy mixture of human and Entity, oil forced into water. It’s so intrinsically horrifying and wrong that we just get used to it. We are both demon and human, and so we’re neither, and so we’re both. Isn’t it weird, Michael, that unlike so many other Avatars, none of us want to be here?”

“You’re a very philosophical person,” Michael said diplomatically. 

“Thanks, I think too much about my lot in life.” Mike Crew sighed, slumping on his barstool and knocking back more of his pint. “I wish you and Helen would stop showing up in my life so often. When you aren’t around, I can almost pretend I’m a person.”

“That’s why we show up,” Michael felt obligated to point out. 

“Yeah, I know,” Mike said glumly. “I always know. I can’t stop knowing.”

There was nothing Michael could say or do that fixed this, or that could make Mike feel better. They understood, just a little - that nostalgia for a kinder time. But maybe it was more that Mike never had those halcyon, innocent days. He had lived life since childhood in aching knowledge that his days were numbered. Maybe that’s why Mike was allowed to live life as a human even now: his human life was just as confusing and isolated as his afterlife, and that when fear stained every second of his life there was no point in ceasing it. 

Maybe Michael couldn’t keep their human life because they had been happy. At the very least, they had been ignorant. That was one thing the Spiral could not abide: ignorance. 

These days, Michael knew everything. They knew everything so, so much.

So, in lieu of comforting falsehoods, Michael offered Mike Crew a slightest sliver of truth. They passed Mike the little piece of origami that they had made, and let Mike cradle it in his large and smooth hands. 

The origami had no shape. It wasn’t folded into anything. It was just a meaningless amalgamation of points, corners, and creased paper. It didn’t look like anything at all. 

“See?” Michael pointed out. “It’s a bear.”

Mike Crew smiled weakly. “Looks like a sea goat to me.”

There was something beautiful in ambiguity. When something was nothing, it could be everything at once. That was rather Michael’s favorite thing about it. 

“I think it’s a self-portrait,” Michael decided. 

And that, at least, was as true as anything else. 

***

Michael wandered their hallways. 

On some level, they were pretty much perpetually doing that. Even as one facet of them talked with Michael in a campus pub, even as another helped Helen convince a high class pub into voting Brexit, even as they traumatized a physics professor, they wandered these hallways.

Make no mistake: everything in this story has/will/is happened/happening simultaneously.

Of course, on another level Michael was literally their hallways, and thus they were not so much wandering as existing. Pulsating, one could say. Even twisting, if one would be so bold. 

There was a mirror, in the hallway. Not a funhouse mirror - although Michael did enjoy popping out from those and scaring Nikola - but just a mirror. Gilded around the edges, ornate with swirling curlicues. You could see yourself in it. You could see a lot of yourself in it. It wasn’t what you had always looked like, not really, but you just had the sense that this was what you really looked like. Maybe you had always looked like this, and everybody was just too polite to tell you. Were you really a brunette? This mirror had to be right. You had been a blonde all along. Nobody had told you. They were laughing at you. They were laughing -

But this was Michael, and Michael’s, and nothing in here could harm them. It was even comforting. They looked at themselves in the mirror, and saw themselves same as ever. Or not same as ever. They were still Michael, so far as Michael was Michael.

Shortish. Blondey. Raggedy hair. Curled as much as anything’s curled. Fun clothing that they really enjoyed. Tall shoes, because they liked feeling tall. Similar dimensions to the golden number. Non linear, but who’s counting? It was what they typically looked like. 

But, just for a second, Michael even fooled themselves. They saw someone in the mirror that they were not, someone who they had never been, someone who they never will be. Someone different.

Michael, just like everyone else, couldn’t stop themselves from reaching out. Come back. Come back! Let me touch you, let me be you! Michael’s fingers brushed the shiny glass, and the world tilted sideways, and Michael fell into where the sidewalk ended.

They emerged, or maybe they had always been, inside a bedroom. It was a nice little suburban bedroom. It had a peaked ceiling and a window seat. The walls were a soft, navy blue. There was a young person, lying on the shag carpet, leafing through a book. Big headphones were over their ears, and they were bopping along to music. Disco. 

Michael stood, an intruder into a familiar space, and watched the stranger. Their throat felt oddly tight, and their eyes felt strangely hot. The stranger was smiling faintly, flipping the pages of their book somewhat mindlessly. They were reading it for school. Flatland. It was just an assignment, but it was really fucking them up. It was making them think about all of these things that they didn’t normally, in new dimensions. It was really cool. All of their friends were just reading the Sparknotes, but they really wanted to talk about it with someone. 

 This, of course, had happened. It will happen in the future. It was happening now, as Michael watched the scene with an electric sadness. It would never happen, because the Spiral had never been here, and never would be, and always was. 

A knock echoed on the door, several sharp raps. Michael didn’t notice, legs swinging to the music. 

The knock on the door hit louder. “Michael!” A voice echoed from behind it. “Michael, are you ready to go?”

Michael reached up and slid off their headphones, without looking up from their book. “Coming!” They called back. “Be right there!”

The Spiral watched Michael, who hummed absentmindedly as the door knocked again. Dad was downstairs, making sure the gas was off and shutting off the lights. Mum was knocking, knocking, knocking, on a door that was and will always be wood. 

“Have you packed yet?” Mum called. 

“Sure I have!” Michael yelled back, glancing at the empty suitcase on the bed and the messy pile of clothes right next to it. They pushed themselves up, flipping the book shut and rising to their feet. “Be right out!”

“Hurry up,” Mum called, as the Spiral mouthed the words along with her. “We’re going to be late!”

The Bermudas aren’t going anywhere, Michael thought spitefully. They stuffed their clothes haphazardly in a suitcase, took far more care to pack their laptop and DS, and shoved Flatland in a side pocket of their backpack. 

When Michael slung on his backpack, unfolded the handle from their suitcase, they were not even looking at the door they left through. They were entirely focused on managing the unruly suitcase, and walked straight through the crazed yellow door.

Of course, Michael walked out. Slightly stranger, a little better, a lot worse. Exactly the same. They were back in their hallways again, fresh from their little suburban bedroom and the child exiting one world and entering one quite different. Maybe one part of that child would always be in that bedroom, another part in these hallways, and another part always caught in that doorway and the transition. 

Simultaneously, in all points in time, Mum knocked on that wood door, and Michael never let her inside. Simultaneously, at all points in time, Michael watched it all happen.

They hadn’t expected it to be so comforting. At all moments in time, in a little corner of their heart, Mum knocked on their door. If the Spiral lived in your soul and beat your heart, it was easy to find the beauty in it - the magnificence of eternity, and the joy in the moment. Mum was with them - literally, as he was pretty sure Helen was still digesting her. Maybe nothing was ever truly over - just over there.  

Michael stuck their hands in their pockets, whistling a jaunty tune that highly resembled the Shepherd’s Tone. Their hallways pulsated comfortingly, and Michael carefully toed off their platform shoes and eyed down the infinite hallways. No rugs for a while. 

Maybe Michael, Mike Crew, and Helen should get together more often. Just the three of them. They would drive each other batty. It would be a lot of fun. 

Michael set off running down the hallway, and skidded on their socks down the hardwood floor, whooping in joy as they skidded endlessly towards eternity. 

[inhanf-archived]

1. threesome | toys under clothing | hand jobs

Squares/Prompts used:

#kinktober2020 all three prompts incorporated

@cmbingo​ library square

@cm-kinkbingo​ Professor!AU

Warnings: Smut, public smut, descriptive smut, three-way relationship

Summary: Alternate Universe in which Reid stays on as a full time professor, the role given to him when Barnes restructured the BAU in Season 13. Other canon deviations exist but are minor.

Word count: 1530ish

AO3

There was a certain peace that being surrounded by books gave to Dr Spencer Reid. If he turned his immense profiling skill inwards he could trace it back to his mother’s love of books and the escapism they offered him from a difficult childhood. He had quickly developed a preference for a corner of the campus library rarely used by anyone except a handful of graduate researchers. The books and papers here were older, the stacks were closer together and there were only a few desks scattered around the entire section. It was remote enough to offer solitude while giving a soothing background noise of staff and students in other parts of the library.

It was here, at a desk furthest from the others that you found Spencer, surrounded by a stack of books and papers, sipping from a reusable coffee cup you’d bought for him to sneak his illicit substance into the library. You watched as he replaced it on the desk, well away from the old books and turned a page. The speed with which he consumed the written word made you feel dizzy, though your reason for seeking him out here could also be partly to blame.

He looked up as you approached him, his curious hazel eyes scanning you for signs of bad news. You rarely disturbed him at work and this was an emergency but not the kind he was thinking. You perched on the edge of the desk, setting your satchel down beside his. ‘Hey’ you smiled and reached out to push a stray stand behind his ear. Spencer matched your smile and leaned in to the affectionate touch.‘Hi? What brings you here? Not that I’m objecting.’ Before you could answer him a very faint buzzing met both your ears in the near silence. You bit down on your lip, gripping the table and pressing your thighs together and Spencer knew instantly what had brought on this visit.

Grinning widely he waited for the soft buzzing to stop which it did just as you caved and let out a soft whimper. His cock jumped in his pants at the sound and he shifted in his seat. ‘Emily torturing you again love?’ He smiled as you met his gaze, the flush of your skin suggested she had been at this for a few hours now. ‘She has me on ten minute intervals, I almost lost it on the way in here. Spence you’ve gotta help me.’

He chuckled and shifted again in his seat. The games Em played with you often ran for days at a time, setting all three of you up for a session of exquisite pleasure. What she exacted in her mischievous preparations she gave back tenfold when she wanted to. This knowledge of your shared girlfriend along with the physical effects she was creating within you had him hard and straining against his slacks.

Spotting the shift and knowing exactly what it meant you slid from the desk to perch on Spencer’s lap. There wasn’t the power play between you two like there was between you and Emily but you knew how to press his buttons and he was a decidedly softer touch than Em. He loved having his hair stroked so your hand naturally went back to the wild curls at the nape of his neck, your little finger simultaneously skimming the sensitive skin there. He shifted again beneath you and you knew you had him.

‘She’ll only drag it out if I help you cum Y/N. She’ll read it all over both our faces if I so much as touch you.’ He was being careful not to let his hands stray to where he wanted them, one against your lower back, pressing you in closer to him, another on your thigh, tracing the goose bumps your over aroused state had caused. ‘I know, I know. But it’s not against the rules if I get there without being touched.’ His quizzical gaze met your eager eyes, his genius brain gave him no advantage at all when it came to the fairer sex, something you found endearing. Realization crept into his expression when your fingers lightly traced the bulge in his pants and he had to cough to cover up the moan he let out. You got a huge amount of satisfaction from pleasuring both your partners but to Spencer's flawless memory he could never remember it causing you to reach orgasm without touch. When he saw you glance at his watch it all clicked into place for him.

‘You want to time getting me off to the next vibration scheduled.’ You bit your lip again and nodded, leaning in to capture his lips in a soft but passionate kiss as your fingers lightly traced his length again. Spence lifted his hands to cup your face, fisting them either side of you when he remembered he wasn’t allowed to touch you. ‘How do you want to do this?’ He whispered softly against your lips. You leaned back to check the nearby stacks and glanced again at his watch. ‘I have seven minutes till the next onslaught’ ‘six minutes forty two seconds actually’ you rolled your eyes and laid your palm against his cock which quietened Spencer again as he stifled a fresh moan. ‘I was thinking we sit just like this, pretend to be chatting and innocently kissing and I jerk you off.’ you stated simply against his ear. Preemptively answering his next question you pulled several clean Kleenex from the pocket of your dress and sat back to meet his gaze.

Spencer took a moment to process the situation. He’d never been much of an exhibitionist but he couldn’t deny the chances of you being caught were negligible. You were waiting for his consent and he gave it with a nod and a shy smile, moving himself to face you better and give you easier access to his trousers. Your smile lit up your entire face and you kissed your boyfriend tenderly, your fingers making quick work of his belt and fly. Reaching inside his black slacks you slid your hand along his aroused cock, gripping it softly through the soft cotton of his boxer briefs. Glancing down you smiled at the pattern. ‘Avocados eh?’ He grinned back at you, burying his face in your shoulder as you carefully extracted him from the novelty pants, your thumb swiping over his head to gather the precum that glistened there and spread it along his shaft. You could feel the kisses he placed along your collar bone as you worked him slowly, up and down, twisting your wrist slightly and collecting the slick from his slit on every other stroke.

You could feel your own slick soaked cunt clench around the small egg like device Emily had lovingly placed inside you that morning. The antenna that connected it to your phone and thereby to hers sat against your now swollen and throbbing clit and you moved your hips ever so slightly to feel it rub against the sensitive nub. No doubt knowing exactly what you were up to Spencer lifted his face from your neck and kissed you fiercely, pulling your bottom lip into his mouth and running his teeth over it. Your strokes sped up a little as the clock counted down to your mutual finish. Spencer continued kissing you deeply, letting soft moans and whimpers escape into your mouth. His knuckles had just turned white as he gripped the arms of the chair when you felt the device come alive within you again. Pressing your thighs together you sped up your movements around Spencer’s throbbing cock, gathering the tissues to soak up the now steady flow of precum that leaked from the tip. You felt more than heard the grunt he made as his climax surged through him and you watched his beautiful face clench in ecstasy, his cock pulsing it’s orgasm over your hand and into the tissues.

The combined sensations of the toy, the visual Spencer’s orgasm face provided and the feel of him coming undone in your hand pushed you over the edge and you let out a muffled moan of relief as your own orgasm rippled through you. Both breathing heavily you slumped in the chair, wrapping the wet tissue inside a few drier ones and pocketing the evidence of your adventure. Now that you’d climaxed Spencer felt free to touch you again and he cupped your face between both his hands and kissed you long and hard.

‘I better get out of here before the next one hits’ you mutter to him and you half grin half grimace at the thought of what the toy would do to your sensitive post orgasm body. ‘See you at home?’ Spencer nodded, not trusting himself to speak yet and he watched you walk away, your body more relaxed than it had been your entire visit. He smiled to himself, abandoning his perch to head back to his office and clean himself up properly. If Em had her way, and she always did, it would be a long night, one he wouldn’t miss for the world.

[jjs-kiryu]

Katsura Kiryu Character Profile

Last Updated : 04/04/21

Disclaimer : This character is an OC for Jujutsu High Commu and has nothing to do with canon universe of Jujutsu kaisen

BASIC INFORMATION 

Name (Romaji) : Katsura Kiryu

Name (Kanji) : 楿 妃琉

Academy : Tokyo Jujutsu High

Nationality : Japanese

Date of Birth : 13 September 2005

Gender : Male

Sexuality : Pansexual

Blood type : A

MBTI : INTJ | The Architect 

Image color : Turquoise (#2dc6cb)

--

APPEARANCE

Hair color : White

Eyes color : Turquoise

Height : 167 cm

Weight : 47 cm

Voice actor : Shimazaki Nobunaga

School uniform 

Standard Gakuran with Cursed school symbol buttons

Wearing Haori with hoodie over Gakuran 

Converse-like shoes

Fingerless black gloves

Accessories 

Turquoise necklace with Katsura clan symbol pendant and red tassel, used as personal cursed object

Magatama left earring with red tassel

Kitsune mask, wearing when he wants to hide his face during his expedition only

--

FAMILY HISTORY

Father : Katsura Kamiyu | 楿 神友

Curse user level 1

From Tokyo Jujutsu High

He is skilled at reverse curse technique, which is one of the hardest technique and require lots of practices

He used to work at Jujutsu medic association, now left with an unknown reason

He already divorced to his wife, Hikarin, and only stays in same house as “parent” role only

Lately, he went to expedition way too frequently, for an unknown reason too

At the present, his status is unknown

Mother : Katsura Hikarin | 楿 光凜

Former name : Yanagi Hikarin (柳 光凜) from Yanagi clan (柳家)

Curse user level 2

From Kyoto Jujutsu High

She met Kamiyu when they went to same expedition 

She is Shikigami user

She is the one who directly raising Kiryu up by herself due to her husband absences

Clan history : Katsura clan | 楿家

Relatively new Jujutsu clan, formed during Taisho era by Katsura Seito (楿 清人)

The only clan’s cursed object is the clan symbol pendant, now is wearing by Kiryu all the time

Childhood

Kiryu born and raised by his mom in Tokyo

Being only child, Kiryu always played alone by himself back then which made him had communication and social gathering

He was heavily sick during his childhood. Actually, it was the effects from his “self-innate cursed power” which made his body can’t tolerate the curse power well enough due to his lack of controlling

After that, his mom gave him the pendant and taught him how to prepare and practice for his curse user ability

--

CURSED POWERS

Voltage controller technique

Type of curse user : Innate Jujutsu

Cursed object medium : Katsura clan symbol pendant

A control of human body’s voltage (V)

Kiryu can makes the person’s body gains the high voltage (infinity voltage) with different voltage to the ground level (at 0 voltage)

The result come out as electrocute directly to the target person

The power can be effective as long as the target stays in the different voltage area

Backlash : Kiryu’s body will get numbed and paralyzed if he uses this power too long time. He can’t move his body unless someone has to help of move him out

Due to Kiryu’s personality is he likes to push himself too hard, he usually overuses his power and get heavily paralyzed and faint for days as result

Shikigami technique

Type of curse user : Practiced Jujutsu

Cursed object medium : Katsura clan symbol pendant

The same technique as his mom’s specialize

His Shikigami takes form as large white dog (resembles to Samoyed) which has a name “Salmon”

Salmon can release electricity, using the same method as how Kiryu releases his curse technique

--

PERSONALITY

Personalities 

Cool-looking and very distance during first time of meeting

In reality, he’s super shy baby who is easily frustrated by many things

He didn’t talk with you that much during first meeting, but next time he will speak more and more until you get tired of him

A Tsundere. Period.

Hate close combat

And also hate exercise too. The only sports that he can takes is swimming

He’s good at generic academic subjects. According to this fact and his obsession to science, he tends to not believe the existence of all “Curse spirits and Jujutsu world” in general. However, thanks for his curse technique which is voltage controlling and he being attend to Jujutsu High, later he has no problem with Jujutsu world anymore

He doesn’t like to eat. He is always suffering in silence whenever his friends dragging him to eat stuffs.

When Kiryu is angry, since he’s INTJ so he won’t show off his anger that visible. However, he will never forget and forgive of the person who caused him like that

Likes 

Color : Turquoise | Mint | Teal | Navy blue

Deadpan jokes

Boba Matcha milk tea (0% sweetness)

Large breed dogs

Personal schedule

Salmon sashimi

Least sweet mint chocolate

Dislikes 

Color : Orange | Yellow | Pink (He actually likes pink in secret)

Pikachu due to his friends love to mock him like that (from his electric power)

Close combat

Sweets in general

Cats

Liar

Every kind of fruits

Cold weather (his tolerance is low)

When he’s sick, he’s super clingy and annoying and requires lots of attention from others so he knows himself like that

Hobbies 

Playing with dogs

Drawing, sketch, doodle something

(His friends like to tease him by convince him to “fix” the electrical appliances” -- again, from his electricity controlling power)

Misc

“Kiryu | 妃琉” is the combination of 妃 which means “princess” and 琉 which means part of “Lapis lazuli”

His mom gave him his name. There’s no reason explain yet why his name has one feminine Kanji

“Katsura | 楿” uses different Kanji that usual way of spelling Katsura | 桂

Kiryu body has extremely high (almost infinity) body resistance (R). Thus, it’s also extremely rare to get him electrocuted.

Kiryu can learns melody or musical notes from his ears only. However, he’s not an instrument player.

Since Kiryu is small and is underweight than male standard, combine with the fact his face is in feminine range, he’s usually being the crossdressing target from his friend. (He likes it tho, but as well, as secret)

“I’m tired of you, you piece of cheese.”

[moku-youbi]

MCU’s Lazy Post-Snap Writing (Thanks Disney...)

This could be potentially spoilery for the first episode of Falcon and Winter Soldier, but it is just a general discussion of the world-building post-”snap” or whatever in the MCU, nothing specific about plot. So last night I was watching the first ep, and briefly getting my hopes up when they mentioned how soon after Endgame this is set, I thought okay, maybe we’ll finally get to see some of the fallout from all these people returning 5 years later. 

(Because let’s be real, WandaVision quietly killing our lesbians off screen with Maria Rambeau apparently dying from cancer while her daughter was snapped away without so much of a mention of Carol being the only consequence of the snap is a fucking joke. And EVERYTHING that was Far From Home, please. Sure, all the right people just so happened to be snapped away so that you could still have Peter and all his friends be the same age and this one character as a joke that used to be younger and is now the same age...right...)

So, great. Sam’s been gone for 5 years and then immediately lost his best friend to another awful writing decision, but alas. For whatever reason, male pride? IDK, he’s insisting on claiming his ownership over his sister’s home and boat that they technically both inherited, even though she’s a widower who’s been raising two young kids alone during the whole snap era in (I think) the NOLA area, and is just trying to keep her head above water by selling. It’s a strange turn for Sam, who has in the past seemed to be a sensitive and understanding guy, to keep flexing on her about how it’s partially his, even though prior to the snap he’d been living based out of the DC area, and superheroing and/or breaking international treaties around the globe, so...

It seems like an excuse to have him attempting to secure a loan, which proves a difficult proposition for someone without work history for the last 5 years, in a time when apparently banks have been inundated with loan applications following the sudden return of billions of people. Okay, cool. I appreciate that the latter would be a nightmare situation, and it’s this sort of detail that might get overlooked in the films that starts to hint at the major ramifications of Tony’s decision to bring everyone back without rewinding time.

However, the problem (beyond the ridiculous “no work history while you were literally nonexistent” which, if the banks are receiving loan requests from people just returned, would be EVERYONE), is pointed out BY the loan officer, and there’s no real good explanation--Sam is a hero. Even if we somehow accept that the US government isn’t scrambling to do some sort of relief bill, or special loans or grants for those returning to existence, Sam’s situation is different. He has a high-profile job with the military. He is loved the world over. And most importantly, he was dusted in the process of defending the world from Thanos, then assisted in his defeat upon his return. You’re telling me there isn’t payment for that kind of thing? 

Even IF no governments around the world are willing to compensate these heroes, you have people like Tony and T’Challa who are incredibly wealthy, and it makes NO SENSE that they aren’t compensating the heroes who work alongside them or helped defend Wakanda. I absolutely refuse to believe that Pepper would be creating some sort of grant, even if there weren’t a regular salary or whatever, for those returning in particular. And it especially doesn’t make sense when you see Tony basically handing over the keys to the kingdom to Peter, and Pepper giving big checks to Aunt May’s charity, or Vision (and Wanda) who has no way of earning income EXCEPT from his superheroing, purchasing a home. How DID they support themselves running around Europe prior to Infinity War if they’re not receiving money from some Avengers fund? And even supposing it comes down to some kind of pride on Sam’s part, even if Pepper had come to him with some sort of restitution payment or compensation for his service, and he was all like “I can’t accept charity,” Pepper would have happily said, “let’s call it a low interest loan, then.” There’s NO REASON he should have to go to some random bank begging for a loan.

Except...the MCU writers are lazy af. They want that drama to be there, they want this to be a motivation for his character, so they ignore the world and the rules already put in place by the past 20+ films/shows. The same as the utter laziness of insisting on keeping the 5 years with no real good justification for it besides Tony Stark wanting to keep his daughter (and even if you’re not big on the theory that Pepper was already pregnant at the time of the snap like I am, I think we’d all agree that Tony Stark would put the greater good ahead of his personal life. He’d know damn well that huge cost of bringing everyone back and it would tear him apart, but he’d DO THE RIGHT THING)

It was incredibly insulting to viewers, and tragically lazy writing. They wanted to have their cake and eat it to. So when they want to jerk some tears, when they want the drama, they make the snap have huge consequences, and when they don’t want to have to deal with the consequences of the snap, they basically pretend it was nothing -- a BLIP, for fuck sake -- that everyone’s already over with and life’s moved on.

I get it, you didn’t want that dark, heavy tone in the Spider-Man film, but you have a chance to explore it with Sam and Bucky. I mean, that’s cool and all, but the problem with insisting on having all your films and shows being part of the same canon, is that you have to MAKE THEM ALL PART OF THE SAME CANON. And while I think they pulled it off beautifully for a while, beginning with Infinity War, it’s started to unravel. The whole setting Captain Marvel in the past of an already established universe didn’t work well and hobbled the story, turning something that should have been good into a clunky vehicle to excuse any potential holes in the story going forward. Endgame was a nightmare, and the tonal shift of FFH after Peter’s journey so far, and questionable characterisation is worse. It makes me worried for Black Widow, which is already suffering from Covid pushing it back. That’s a film I’ve been looking forward to for over a decade, and I’m worried by setting it in the past, it’s going to suffer the same way CM did.

I just find it incredibly sad that the Disney Plus series’ put an end to the Netflix MCU, because those were so well written with create internal consistency, character development, and world-building. They could have been a great way to explore the fallout of the snap, especially with the efforts they went to to distance them from the rest of the MCU while still, technically, being a part of it. Now instead we have Disney churning out flashy, but ultimately hollow content as a cash grab, instead of any real interest in telling meaningful stories. 

I will say, snap politics aside, I hold out higher hopes for the remainder of Falcon and Winter Soldier. There are some parts I obviously didn’t like, but on the whole it felt of a higher quality than WandaVision by far (which is sad, because I love that comic and was really looking forward to some surreal, zany fun there). 

But on the whole, where I used to be so excited and the first in line for every new MCU film (literally), these days I’m just feeling “meh.”

[natsunoomoi]

Holy crap. So like with the previous post I was thinking about Fushigi Yuugi again and kind of checking up on what was up with Byakko Senki cuz I haven’t checked on it in awhile and it looks like it’s on hiatus right now and she’s working more on Arata Kangatari, which is cool cuz I thought she finished that, but I guess not and she just took a break to like finish Genbu and do Byakko or something.

But also I was scrolling through her Twitter to find that she is really into this Chinese movie “Legend of Luo Xiaohei” and so I was checking that out cuz so ironic that Japanese mangaka that got her big break writing manga about an ancient China setting is interested in a Chinese movie. So just looking through her Twitter thread and apparently she found out about Luo Xiaohei from watching a CM while watching Modao Zushi. LMAO It’s amazing, but this situation just feels like an ouroboros eating itself because I have a high suspicion that her work on Fushigi Yuugi imported into China back in the 90s was probably a huge influence on Chinese creators and artists to write their own stories about their culture and helped to popularize the xianxia and wuxia novel movements in more modern times. On top of that MXTX said she was inspired by a D. Gray-man fanfic and while she mentioned that title specifically, I think in the periphery Fushigi Yuugi itself and more recently Arata were probably an influence too. Growing up a number of my Chinese friends also said they got into anime overall because of Fushigi Yuugi because it was an anime and work from Japan about their culture and arguably done pretty damn well. 

In terms of the danmei movement as well, I’m pretty sure Fushigi Yuugi was included in what started the movement as the movement was influenced by Japanese BL that came in via Taiwan, and the beginning of Fushigi Yuugi had the whole thing between Nuriko and Hotohori even though that kind of went nowhere, Nuriko dies to everyone’s depression (I have several friends who refuse to watch the rest of the series after Nuriko dies because it’s not the same), and that whole ship goes off a weird deep end with Hotohori marrying a woman that looks like Nuriko. Also, the exact reasons for Nuriko being in the harem and all that. There was a whole lot of shipping in the 90s from Fushigi Yuugi and it was one of the first series that had a male cast that was almost entirely ikemen and I think the actual first reverse harem. A number of shows probably simultaneously popularized the female gaze in mainstream anime, but Fushigi Yuugi was definitely one of them. Like literally one or two years before there was a lot of manly men and guy’s guys kind of anime characters, but beautiful ikemen, no, not really. In 2021, there are some things about the series that are a bit problematic, but it’s influence on the world is pretty significant. It was one of the first shows I’d seen that had any kind of reference to homosexuality or transgender in it and although it’s not necessarily portrayed well, the fact that it was there and that Nuriko was such a beloved character it started a conversation and helped us to get to a time where the topics she represents can be more discussed. I’m actually not even sure what pronouns would be appropriate for Nuriko because of her reasons for what she did and in Japanese the pronoun problem is actually really easy to get around because you just don’t have a subject or speaking in 3rd person is totally normal. But still, without her the minds of thousands or even millions of fans around the world would not have been opened as early to LGBT topics. Her existence, even problematic as it might be, allowed people to consider and love a character of a different sexual orientation or gender identity than their own and just open their minds to just not being a homophobic, biphobic (cuz relationship with Miaka?), or transphobic piece of shit.

Then also Genbu Kaiden and Uruki’s powers. Yeah.... I mean, also kind of with the earlier discussion, the idea of dual cultivation I don’t recall even being brought up much before in most media, but such ideas were also banned and repressed in China at a certain point. Documentation shows it was more of an ancient practice that suddenly became known about again. The book I was talking about that has it more explicitly written is banned in China has its only original surviving copy in the Japanese National Library as it was one of the books brought to Japan by scholars escaping persecution in China and bringing with them books to escape one of the many episodes of mass book burning. According to my Chinese lit professor who had us read an English translation of that book as a part of our curriculum anyway. Supposedly the translator of said book had to go to Japan to read the original in order to write the translation. There’s apparently a number of ancient Chinese texts like that because book burnings were a thing at different points in Chinese history, so if you are a scholar of Chinese lit if you want a complete picture of your field for some texts you do actually have to come to Japan to do your research. But yeah, that power mentioned in that very book Watase-sensei gave to Soi, and also the story of Fushigi Yuugi takes place in that very library that contains that ancient copy of a banned and would have been lost to the world book. If you’re asking why a “dirty” book would be something a scholar would grab to save, ancient lit scholars do regard it as a rather well-written piece of literature even though the content of it is basically taboo.

But also the Fushigi Yuugi Suzaku Ibun game is a hot mess when it comes to this same issue because if you romance Nuriko you can save her from death and my friend Hikari said she wasn’t sure if she was happy about fucking with the universe like that. (I’m not either.) Nuriko’s death was such a huge impact on the story and everything. Also, notably, most of the Suzaku Shichiseishi died, but Nuriko had the LONGEST tribute. Like Chiriko and Mitsukake’s was like a tag on of a few minutes. Hotohori’s was too even, but it was addressed more in the later manga chapters the publisher pressured her to write and in the OVA series afterward.

Also, like Fushigi Yuugi other than the Neverending Story was one of the original sucked into a book holy shit how do I survive stories. Idk if SVSSS is influenced by it in that way, but it’s fair to draw the parallels because of the similar theme. It’s just canonically Taiitsu Shinjin is not behind the the system in the book and in a number of ways Shen Yuan is more competent than Miaka. Miaka gets a lot of shit though and when I re-watched FY a second time I actually found the gripes people generally have about it make up only a small part of the series. People just talk it up so much that it seems like a huge thing when it’s not. Plus the technical canon is only the original TV series because that’s where Watase wanted to end the story and that is an emotional rollercoaster that makes you cry so good. But like there’s some other kinds of parallels as well like how toward the end and like the last two episodes you hate Nakago up until the exact moment you find out why he’s an absolute asshole, and characters straight up criticizing him about how he’s an asshole the whole damn series just gives the same kind of feels that SY gave criticizing the original throughout SVSSS. Can’t say for sure, but Fushigi Yuugi has a lot of clout in a general sense.

But yeah, Watase-sensei said that she was really surprised by the animation quality of Chinese animation these days and she thought Japanese anime was going down in comparison. Same, yo. Same. But still, her work was probably a huge contributor to the movement that allowed MDZS to exist because her art is damn beautiful, Chinese influenced, and she had one of the first works in Asia to like bring the subject of LGBT issues into the mainstream after years of oppression from mostly Western influence because in pre-modern Asia no one gave a shit before and there’s a significant amount of classical novels that address some form of LGBT issues at least in Japanese lit and like even academic documentation that notes Confucius saying that doing it with a guy was better than with a woman. And the author of the work that probably was very influential to BL back in the 90s watches MDZS. She noted that there wasn’t any in the actual anime, which is true, but I think she helped that series to exist and she watches the anime so it’s kind of exciting.

I hope it influences her to go finish Byakko, but OMG I want her to finish Arata too because I like Arata. I should try to find time to read more of it because the anime is too short and the wiki descriptions of what’s happening are so damn confusing and incomplete.

[marshmallowprotection]

ANOTHER MC! YES I KNOW SO MANY OOF LOL. 

Match up as usual.

I honestly had trouble coming up with her personality- Like…making someone whose mature and older sisterly and whose also a idol for some reason is hard??? idk oof. Less sad MC this time but still with a bit of tragedy. But she’s not unable to move on like Marina, or manipulated by Rika into Mint Eye through Rika by making her trust her like Sayaka, so yeah.

No drawing this time, I have to do my math and science finals after this so oof.

Full Name: Yeona Mae

International Age: 25 (AS) 26 (OS)

Korean Age: 26 (AS) 27 (OS)

Nicknames: N/A

Blood Type: O+

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Marital Status: Single; Has Had 3 Previous Serious Relationships, the third of which would have resulted in marriage had her fiancee not passed away.

Ethnicity: Korean

Nationality: South Korea

Religion: Catholic

Birthdate: September 14th, 1990

Zodiac: Virgo

Height: 5′5 ft (165 cm)

Weight: 130 lbs (58 kgs)

*Status: Alive (All Routes Except Certain Endings)

Cleansed (V’s B1, and all of Ray’s bad endings) 

*In the secret ending, if she is not the MC, Yeona is kidnapped by Unknown by order of Rika (due to her extreme amount of influence and connections) and was about to go through her cleansing ceremony before the whole fiasco with V’s death. 

Yeona is also kidnapped in Another Story regardless of route if she is not the MC, and her fate differs based on the ending. If on V’s route and Bad Ending 1 occurs, she is cleansed and becomes part of Mint Eye since she was not able to escape with V, the MC, and Seven (and Myung if she exists in the timeline. Remember, there are multiple different timelines in the world of SV’s (short for SerendipitousValkeria) version of the Mystic Messenger universe.). Yeona escapes in all of V’s other endings. 

In Ray’s route she escapes alone after Ray manages to help her escape before he hurries to help the MC of the route; note only if Ray’s Bad Ending 3 has not had it’s required conditions fulfilled will she be able to escape, so if she does not that would become a sign that your at the point of no return to Ray’s B3. she also does not escape in any of the other bad endings Ray has. 

Occupation: Second child of the CEO of a company similar in size to C&R, one of the most popular Idols in South Korea.

Hobbies: Singing, Working Out (Not As Much As Zen Does, Though), Swimming, Visiting Her Fiancée’s Grave

Likes: The Ocean, Swimming, Playing Tennis, Taking Long Walks On Beaches, The Smell of Lavender, Listening To Music, Musicals, Watching Zen’s Musicals, Concerts

Dislikes: Echo Girl, Spiders, Alcohol, Her Mother, People Liking Her Only For Her Beauty, People Who Tell Her To “Just Get Over Your Fiancée Already!”

Affiliations: RFA 

Mint Eye (V’s B1, Ray’s B1, B2, and B3) 

Relatives: Father

Mother

Older Brother (2 years older)

Younger Brother (3 years younger)

Younger Sister (5 years younger) 

Unnamed Fiancée (Deceased)

Background: Yeona Mae is the second child of the CEO of a successful company which specializes in a variety of things. Her entire life she has mostly been pampered like a princess almost, however, she was always taken care of by people other than her parents, who were busy running the company, leading to her basically having to raise herself. She was also jealous of her older brother a lot due to him being the “favorite” since he was the heir to the company and was constantly fawned over by her parents, who ignored her and her younger brother and sister. She ended up also having to raise her younger siblings since they were also ignored by her parents. When she was 5 she went to her first concert, which caused her interest in music and singing. As time went on she started taking singing lessons. When she decided to start her career as a idol when she was 19, she explicitly told her parents she was going to start from scratch and build up her career on her own without their money or help, which they respected and haven’t in anyway influenced her career as a idol since. Her career started to really kick off when she was 21, with the release of her 10th song, “What Is Love?”, which was conceptualized with the question of “What is love, really?” as Yeona had no real concept of what love was since her parents were quite obviously in a loveless relationship, having more kids for the sake of having extra heirs in case of Yeona’s older brother being unable to take over the company when her father dies. Yeona’s first relationship was the first time she had ever really known what love was like, and despite the relationship not working out in the end, her and her first love are still friends. Yeona’s second relationship was with a fellow idol, but again, it didn’t work out. Yeona’s third relationship did end up working out as her third lover ended up proposing to her, and she said yes. However, tragically, her fiancée died in a car accident due to his friend being drunk and driving without him knowing and they both died in the crash. Yeona was devastated and put her idol career on hold to mourn. Because of the loss, Yeona ended up believing she could never love someone like that again because she was so lost in what to do, since her future with her fiancée was now gone and she didn’t know what to do with herself. However, eventually, she managed to move on somewhat and started back up her idol career with the song “Hearts Separated By Death”, then followed by it’s sequel, “Mended Heart”. Yeona got into swimming a little bit after her fiancée’s death as something to distract herself from everything and keep her mind off things.

Yeona could be described as a big sisterly sort of person, caring very much for those around her due to the fact she had to raise herself and her two younger siblings. Yeona overall lives in the present, especially after her fiancée died, preferring not to plan because things could go to shit very quickly. She enjoys every second and like to savor happy little moments and just not think about everything else. She also can be a bit absent minded, getting lost in her own world sometimes because of a desire to go to a world where everything can last forever- of course, she knows it’s a stupid fantasy that can never come true. Yeona also is very good at reading people, and it’s very hard to hard to hide what your feeling from her. It’s also hard to lie to her, though someone like Rika could still manage to deceive her. Yeona also has a smart mouth and can be very sassy and sarcastic when she wants to be. Yeona always heavily enjoys teasing people. 

Trivia:

1. Yeona has red hair (a little different than Saeyoung’s and Saeran’s) and green eyes.

2. Yeona’s most popular song is a song about her experience when her third boyfriend (and former fiancée) died in a car accident, called “Hearts Separated By Death”, created 7 months after he died.

3. Yeona’s favorite color is teal. 

4. Yeona despises Echo Girl but pretends to be “completely neutral” toward her.

5. Yeona is a fan of Zen and has met him before. She has often praised his work in public and in private. Their casual friends. 

6. Yeona has often had to debunk rumors about her and Zen being in a secret relationship because everyone wants to see the “prettiest idol around” and the “handsomest actor around” get together. She has stated she is still not in any position to get into another relationship (considering her fiancee died only 2 months before Rika “died”, so 20 months (or a year and 6 months) ago in CS and DS and 3 months ago in AS). 

7. Since she comes from a wealthy family, Yeona had the resources to learn multiple languages, and so besides Korean and Korean Sign Language, Yeona is also fluent in: English, Spanish, Chinese, and Japanese, as well as their forms of sign language, which has been useful due to her little brother (who is 3 years younger) being born mute. — Submission

I match with you... 

V! 

You’re the kind of person that cares about everyone around you. It’s never really been about you. It’s been about everyone else in the room and it’s hard for you to accept that you can be selfish sometimes. It’s unfortunate, but it happens far more often than it should to many people. Still, you don’t let it get you down as much as it might, but it’s hurting your heart whether you want to open up about this fact or not. It makes it hard for you to reach out to others when you do find yourself catching feelings because how does one open up when they’re not sure what love should feel like? 

Gonna go out on a limb and say that you need the kind of partner that understands what you’re going through and won’t force you to rush and do anything. You and V are both the type that needs to be friends before you rush headstrong into something. There’s a lot that you could learn from each other on the front of opening up about what hurt you in the first place. So, you’re the types to exchange letters, texts, and late night phone calls as friends before romance ever hits. 

He may be the quiet type but he is supportive, he admires that you have the confidence to do what you wanted even if it made someone upset. He wishes that he would have had that gall when he was younger. No changing the past but he’s happy to spend his future with you. He can be a bit-scattered himself so you both need to be on top of each other when it comes to times and dates. 

[wisdomrays]

TAFAKKUR: Part 298

THE INVISIBLE SCRIPT ON THE VISIBLE : MATHEMATICS

Af you follow scientific magazines, you may have realized one thing: articles on mathematics are seldom published in such magazines. The major reason is that, in a way, mathematics is a world which is difficult to comprehend, a world where abstract logic is embodied in concrete statements. It cannot be said to be popular among people except for mathematicians, for it is thought to lack a literary side and emotional appeal, and to be rather uninteresting. Mathematics draws the attention of those who try to understand the universe and the reason of creation; it fulfils this duty by unveiling the secrets of creation.

In a book that deals with questions of logic, when we see numbers written in succession, such as 5, 15, 25; then we are able to discover the relation between these numbers, to predict the next number and to realize that this pattern was made by somebody. However, if we were to be told that these figures indicate the distance covered in equal segments of time by a pebble that has been dropped from a certain height, most of us would not think about the One Who made this general rule.

Or for example, the equation 11.111.111 x 111.111.111 = 12.345.678.987.654.321 may be as amazing to some people as the verses of a beautiful poem, whereas it will leave others cold.

Likewise, the famous mysterious symbols of mathematics, e, i, , are nothing more than some alphabetical signs for most of us, nevertheless they must have meant a lot to the famous physicist, Richard Feyman, since he wrote the following equation in his diary, noting that he admired it: ei+1=0

If we write f (z) = Z2 + c;, this will not be a meaningful sentence for most people. But that will not change the fact that it is an incredibly simple expression of biological and physical reality in an expression which concerns our lives (as in fractal logic). And the picture you see here is nothing but the analytical projection of this equation on a computer screen.

The spiral form which can be seen in various things from cone shells to nebulas, has a very simple formula, r2=a2/A which is fascinating for those who spend some time to think about it. All these examples have a point in common. These numbers, which are abstract concepts, are as real as the concrete objects of the physical world. While other sciences make sense, more or less, for a layperson, mathematics can only be appreciated by people who know it well.

The mythological Princess Dido of Phoen-icia fled from the city where her husband (the King;s brother) had been slain by the King. She wanted to settle in Carthage, in North Africa. There the King only allowed her to buy as much land as could be covered by the skin of a cow. Dido decided to interpret the word ;cover; in a wider sense. She had her servants cut the skin in thin strips, connecting them to each other. In the end, she obtained a long cord, estimated to be somewhere from between 1,000 to 2,000 m. long. When it came to placing it on the ground, Dido wanted to find the shape that would cover the largest area. She found the right shape. She made a circle on the ground and she was able to encompass quite a large area of land. As a matter of fact, looking at some ancient castles, we can understand that they were built in this way in order to create the largest structure over the smallest possible area. This explains why the cross-section of a vessel tissue is circular, because it occupies minimal space in the body.

Did you know that mathematical reality applies in our body and in the universe? This fact was realized when scientists developed fractal geometry. The fractal structure we see in the roots and leaves of plants and in the human respiratory and vascular systems are very good examples of this fact. Such excellence indicates the All-Knowing Omnipotent One Who is behind these geometrical designs.

What is the invisible secret of this visible structure? Dido had to enclose the maximum area by using limited material, which she accomplished. Such optimization also exists in the human body and in other living things. The biological systems we have mentioned above have vessel systems designed as fractal networks, delivering the necessary substances to cells. Essentially, these systems are designed in such a way that the vessels occupy minimal space while serving all the cells within the system; this can only be realized through such a fractal structure.

The most striking proof supporting this idea is that if the human veins, which do not take up a great deal of space in the body, were all added together, they would reach a length that is three times the circumference of the world.

How can this be possible? This can be explained quite simply: find an equilateral triangle and carry out the following instructions. First, divide each side of the triangle into three equal sections and place another (smaller) equilateral triangle on the middle section of each side you have divided, facing outwards. If you repeat the same thing for each of these small triangles, you will create the pattern below.

In a fractal structure, as the number of branches near infinity, the shape of the structure resembles a circle more and more. The new area we will find cannot be bigger than the area of the circle, and the points of contact with the circle will approach the maximum value.

We can also explain this fact in the following way: take a circle with a radius of 3 cm. This will serve as the cross-section of a cylindrical object. Then draw seven smaller identical circles inside the first circle. You will see that the proportion between the sum of circumferences and the sum of areas is 5/7. Those who are interested in mathematics will see that as the value of the r (radius) decreases, the difference increases. This clearly indicates that fractal structures are always advantageous. So, what about organs like the brain or the lungs? They do not have a completely fractal structure, yet they really need to have a larger surface area than other objects of equal size. These organs have been enabled to have the largest possible surface area by being convoluted. Otherwise, man would be a strange creature, burdened with a huge mass on his back. Similarly, when we look at a map that shows the coastlines, we see that a coastline that has many capes and bays has a longer coast line than its counterparts, which run straight along the land. All these living things or organs (man, trees, brain etc) have such structures from the very moment they are created. This system or project (Figure 10) cannot have developed on its own, by chance, without there having been a Creator.

Sir James Jean says, ;The Creator must be a perfect Mathematician; in his book The Mysterious Universe. In so saying, he draws attention to mathematics, the mysterious pattern in the universe, and points to the Artist behind the ornamented beauty seen in Creation. The magical science of mathematics whispers its secrets to those who try to perceive it through the eyes of wisdom.