#she is the center of his universe he doesn’t gaf

[ambeauty]

I probably think about this scene just as much as under the table 😭 it was the first episode and Chris really came out swinging like damn.

“We made it.”

“No you made it.”

“With everyone else.”

“I left you alone.”

“So don’t let it happen again.”

“It’s never gonna happen again.”

THIS IS INSANITY!!!!!

[missing-my-griffin]

Bellamy's not gaf because of Clarke leaving him behind seems more cruel because it's from the idea that Clarke didn't think Bellamy considered her family. These idiots need to communicate more because they wear their hearts on their sleeves in the sense that they do lash out from the misunderstanding. They basically all but say what they actually want to because it does take a giant step. Imo I even feel like E is a safe choice but Clarke would feel like a risk. He said she centered him.

I KNOW right. But I mean, that’s what makes their romance so damn tragic.

I had to look it up because well high school is all but a foggy memory at this point, but a tragedy is (in relation to theatre but still also wildly recognised in literature):

A drama that deals with a noble protagonist placed in a highly stressful situation that leads to a disastrous, usually fatal conclusion.

These plays focus on a powerful central character whose most outstanding personal quality – his tragic flaw- is the source of his catastrophe. […]

In a tragic universe, we are all flawed precisely because we are human.

In this particular case and in regards to their relationship, the fact that they’re too terrified to talk about/admit their feelings is their tragic flaw. They are constantly placed in those highly stressful situations that don’t leave much room to breathe anyways and coming to terms with a soulmate level love isn’t easy with that much complex history. Also opening up isn’t easy in general, especially for those two. And NOW in ADDITION to that, they are given a great excuse to not deal with emotions: those constant threats to their lives. It’s so much easier to choose to deal with war and immediate danger than mushy feelings. It’s a compelling story to tell: we (and everyone on the show) can SEE what they mean to each other, but noone is talking about it. We get the satisfaction of knowing they’re in love, and we get impatient excitement because just they can’t seem to make it official. 

So they constantly get their heart broken by each other and lash out because of it. It can be frustrating for some people to watch but I for one actually like it. It’s so angsty. They like.. do something because they love each other but somehow it gets twisted and ACTUALLY makes the other one think they don’t care. 

ALSO because they never talk, and because they’re scared little idiots, they are incredibly unsure of where they stand with each other. I think both have had valid reasons (pre 513) to think that their relationship was merely platonic. I also believe both of them think they don’t deserve the other one. They love so selflessly and that really paves the way to “taking yourself out of the equation” for the sake of the other one being happy. They don’t want to burden each other with the knowledge of unrequited love.

“They basically all but say what they actually want to because it does take a giant step.“ - and that’s exactly it. I agree. They are entirely incapable of hiding their love in everything they do except for when it comes to actually saying it out loud. I understand where you’re coming from; god knows it’s time for them to just speak the hell up but also, since it took so damn long and was such a big part of their story (the not talking) - when the time does come, it will be glorious. And it will come.

Also interesting to note as you said it: Echo is definitely Bellamy’s safe choice and Clarke is a risk I agree!! Echo seems pretty loyal and dependable, she doesn’t really play games anymore once she’s on your side. Clarke always does. Maybe it’s the shipper goggles but I also believe Bellamy loves Clarke a lot more than he loves Echo. Bellarke’s love is kind of sick at times because they literally forgive each other for anything in a heartbeat and have this kind of obsession going on… it’s all consuming and personally, I would find it very scary. And what’s the scariest thing about it is the insecurity.. i love this person so much, they are the most amazing person to ever be alive, how can I ever deserve them? So yes, safety is also def a reason why they’re not talking and haven taken the risk just yet. 

And as for lashing out because of misunderstandings, I love the angst: Clarke did what she did not because she didn’t love Bellamy, but despite it. Bellamy did what he did (using Madi) not because he didn’t consider Clarke family but despite it. WE know it because of the traitor who you love, the poisoning of O because “I can’t let you kill Clarke.” WE know because of the radio calls and the letting Madi go in the end to save Bellamy and refusing to close the door without Bellamy. but THEY don’t know. The radio calls were the first thing to get out, and that will have repercussions. So… yes it’s “cruel” that Bellamy gave up because Clarke broke his heart but it’s also beautiful and angsty because we know she still loved him more than anything all the while. 

But I mean the insecurity and the not talking was all pre radio calls and Bellamy has already shown that there will be a shift. He seems to be more confident now because my friend, six years. SIX YEARS of dedication, it must have hit him like a brick. That kind of love is extraordinary, and Bellamy realized that. He’s all nervous and giddy and he now has hope she might feel as much for him as he does for her. 

SO all in all, I really don’t mind that this tragic element (inability to talk) is part of their will they won’t they dynamic. It’s adding conflict plus it acts as PROOF for their feelings also. Like: Only a person you love can break your heart. And their falling out was so passionate. So yea. Bring on the tragedy. (As long as, you know, it doesn’t have a tragic ending.:D)

[ironjohnred]

Masculine Frame

h/t @TRPgurus 

It is all about building a strong internal frame. It is about being proactive rather than reactive to external factors outside oneself. It’s about doing the work of a man (your purpose) not for the praise or validation of others but to reach a state of self-fulfillment. Accepting the universal factors that lay outside of your control and remaining indifferent, remaining indifferent to pain or pleasure and staying focused on your purpose.

​The more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.

Hypergamy is just part of nature and lies outside your control. Being angry at the existence of hypergamy is just like being angry at the existence of mosquitoes. You are being emotionally reactive to the nature of things outside your control and further more wasting your mental energy that could be put to better use working on oneself and towards your purpose.

You are your frame, to build a frame is to build one's self; this is the key difference between real change from within and “acting alpha”. If you set aside the moral aspects from Meditations it reads as a general guide on how to be a strong, well-rounded man. Being unfazed by the factors outside oneself and ensuring that validation comes from within rather than external factors. This is your frame. You are your frame. Frame is the extent of which you are controlling your own reality and the truth is, often you have little control/influence of external factors. To build frame one must focus on what he can change, what one has control over and let go of the things he doesn't. This is why there is a common theme here of people starting their own business and being self employed; it’s directly linked to building frame. Becoming self sufficient puts you in a position where you never “have” to do anything you don’t want to. Being the boss, being in control of the decisions being made and the actions that follow is operating within your frame. When you are working for someone else, you are operating in their frame. If the date location you chose was somewhere you think she would like (without considering of what you want) you are operating in her frame. Damn, if the only reason you are lifting weights is to impress the girl next door you are still serving her reality. You are your frame but only to the extent of the things you have done and created on your own, for the sole purpose of furthering oneself. If you build great things people will naturally want to be a part of that. This is where we can derive real power, by remaining in control of the direction of our own lives and even start to influence the directions of others. Why? Because that’s one tasty looking cake you’ve baked up and they’re keen for a slice. Now you have the power to decide if you want to give them some. What can they provide for you? What's the going rate? What's your next best option? Fuck it! Eat the whole cake if you want, you can do whatever you want in this situation. Now you have others operating on your terms, within your frame.

I’ve used cold showers as part of my meditation every morning. It reinforces two concepts. It helps build resistance to seeking pleasure and to become indifferent in the face of pain/discomfort. We all know that pleasure seeking weather it be porn, drugs or Netflix is counter productive towards self development. Furthermore being outside your comfort zone can be uncomfortable at best and agonizingly painful at worst; but it's where we have to be if we want to grow. During the first week of taking cold showers I’d be hesitant before I entered, I would almost squeal as my body flinched and my breathing accelerated when the freezing cold water fell upon my body. It didn’t take long before I learnt to control my breathing and with no hesitation jump straight into the shower with indifference, as if it were a steaming hot shower on a cold winter's morning.

I’m staying calm and collected as I chose to be, not reacting to the freezing water. I am not allowing cold water to control my actions. I’m behaving in accordance with how I have chosen to behave, I am standing my ground, I am holding frame.

Achieving a state of being unfazed by discomfort is the reward.

The idea of not trying to control or react to anything outside of us is huge. I think too many guys are still stuck at trying to control shit outside of them. 'How do I get her to go out with me?' 'How do I avoid rejection?', etc. 'How do I pull her into my frame', type stuff.This (with the links) shows that one's power should only ever be focused within oneself. The ability to hold YOU, regardless of outside things.

Stoicism teaches you that your negative emotional reactions are un-constructive; that you should be indifferent to the opinions of others; and that you are supposed to have compassion for others, as they too are humans struggling.The end result of that in a social conservation is that if someone challenges something you say, you shrug your shoulders; you don't need to defend yourself and you don't have an incentive to lash out at the other person. In fact, one major tenet of stoicism is to respond to insults with humor such as "you're right, and you don't know the half of it." If you think about it, that is just another way of saying "agree and amplify."

​

"Being unreactive". It's the same thing as holding frame. You act, you don't react. Your frame remains intact when confronted with external (or internal) influence. Your path doesn't change. Your intentions, desires, actions and emotions are maintained when faced with obstacles. They can be internal as well, such as doubt. You act from your center and do what you're supposed to do, deep down. You don't sit there passively waiting to be led by external forces. YOU, that is your beliefs, opinions, decisions and so forth, aren't changed by someone else. You bring your prize mentality, she brings her bitch mentality, you don't yield, eventually she does. SHE reacts to YOU.

​

The term "the lens through which you see the world" refers to your personal interpretation of facts. You choose what you take in and what you ignore. If for instance you are condescendingly told that genius can look like crazy to stupid people, you thank them for sharing their experience... the notion of you being dumb and not a genius doesn't register in your mind, because the notion that you are indeed a genius does not change due to external (or internal) influence. That is the frame that you bring to the table -- I'm a genius. That is your interpretation of reality, the 'lens through which you see the world', it's a frame, yet, that is still YOU. That is the part of YOU that is relevant in that situation. Frame is YOU, it is your SELF. Not changing it/you when confronted, is what Holding Frame means.

Frame is you, it is your self. The more (contextually relevant) parts of it that you keep intact when faced with external (or internal) influence, the stronger your overall frame, i.e. the better you are holding it.

Frame is YOU. It's your SELF. When your frame is strong, you will not be reactive, but active. Your focus, intentions and emotional state will not be broken by attacks. You will stay on topic and not justify your position, you will laugh at their idiocy and not get triggered, you will twist their accusations and make fun of them instead of accepting the accusation as the platform that you're obligated to operate on. You'll transcend the earthly context and become a god.

There are no wooden frames through which you see the world, no imaginary bubbles in which you exist that, if stronger than the bubbles of other people, will break their bubbles and suck those people in. There are only persons interacting. There is only YOU. So no need to complicate it. This is what we're talking about, at the most fundamental level that can be described; people interacting. Frame is YOU. YOU are your beliefs, thoughts, desires, decisions, focuses, attitudes, emotions, actions and words. When you are able to keep those things intact, i.e. yourself intact when tested, you are Holding Frame, meaning that you are keeping yourself intact, or the parts of yourself that are relevant in a given context, intact. Such as eye-contact in a staredown, tone of voice and amused masculine state of mind in an interaction with a bitchy bitch, confidence and calm in a battle of wits, or ignoring ad hominems and staying on topic in a debate. Or a calm demeanour and good posture in a 50-second k-close with a bitchy woman, or your assumed leadership role and abundance mentality in a 50-year marriage (I said 'relevant parts of YOU in a given context', since something like your faith in Satan might not be relevant in the 50-second k-close, whereas your flirty choice of words would be). Holding frame is a sign of power. If your focus, decisions and feelings can't be rattled, you are obviously powerful. Power and hierarchy are innately understood by us. That's why you hold your ground when a dog postures. That's why a hurt child curls his lip and holds his tears; he acts unprovoked, because being unreactive, unchanged, is powerful. That's why you don't back down from your outrageous claim when a woman shit-tests you about it, because that would be weak, and weakness is unattractive, whereas power is attractive. As you can probably guess, truly not GAF, feeling jolly and having a high opinion of yourself, will handle most of your frame holding; when those parts of YOU are good and unbreakable, the other parts of YOU will often follow. Strength of frame is one's level of Alpha, one's strength, one's power over oneself. Testosterone creates confidence and euphoria. I mean, connect the dots. The pieces fall into place.

Want to build impeccable frame? Allow yourself to fail again, again, and yet again. Be extremely open to experience. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, emotionally and mentally. Trust that your intuition will guide you throughout the process. Ask to see what is, not what you hope and wish things to be. Go through the painful humiliations, pain and sadness in order to succeed. Frame is not an ethereal idea you put in your head that says “I am this person.” You are much more than that.

Thus, we have to learn to be stoic, unmoved, non-reactive when our frame is tested, and the only way to do that is to face rejection. Anyone who does cold approach knows this. The first ten, twenty, or thirty times you feel like shit after a girl rejects you, but after awhile, you realize it doesn't matter, you learn how to pass shit tests, and ultimately, you learn how to hold frame and maintain your internal state in spite of rejection.

[hatohouse-blog]

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Tests have confirmed the bug that caused the campylobactor outbreak in Havelock North was from a ruminant animal. A monitoring tool used by councils to analyse freshwater quality does not measure effluent run-off. Photo: RNZ / Claire Eastham-Farrelly Seven out of 11 regional councils rely on a software tool called Overseer to manage freshwater quality by analysing farm nutrient run-off. The system is run by the government, the fertiliser industry and agricultural scientists. Fish and Game senior regional planner Peter Wilson said there was a significant flaw in that system. "Because pathogen pathways are not built in to Overseer and Overseer is often the only tool used by regional councils to manage this, we've effectively forgotten an important component in managing our environment." That missing component was the biggest risk to human health, Mr Wilson said. "Councils put significant emphasis on [Overseer], but mainly for things such as nitrogen and phospohourus." The government was taking an "ambulance at the bottom of the cliff" approach, he said. "There is always monitoring and sampling of rivers and waterways, but that's dealing with the end result of the pollution rather than the source of pollution, so there is an urgent need for pathogens to be built into Overseer." Overseer chief executive Caroline Read said the software looked at how nutrients in faeces might run off across the topography of the land, but it did not factor in the effect of weather. "It doesn't consider a heavy rainfall event because it gives a long term estimate of the nutrient losses." Hawkes Bay received extremely heavy rainfall about 10 days before the outbreak became apparent. Ms Read confirmed Overseer did not monitor pathogens. When it was set up 20 years ago the focus was just on nutrients, she said. "It was looking at how can we account for and how can we understand nutrient losses. "The conversation wasn't being had about those other human health aspects - that would be obviously talked about in a different conversation." Overseer was open to discussing the inclusion of pathogen modelling, Ms Read said. Tags:

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\n With Hess on a roughly 60-pitch pitch count, Mainieri inserted Russell Reynolds into the game in the fifth inning, where after getting the first two batters out, SLU coach Matt Riser asked the umpires to check Reynolds' hat for a substance. There was nothing found on Reynolds' hat, which has writing all over it and is pretty roughed up. \n Riser's request, which Mainieri said was perfectly fine, set off Reynolds, who had to be restrained along with SLU players, to avoid a bigger skirmish. \n \"It's not a big deal. He has every right to ask that,\" Mainieri said. \"Obviously, Russell wasn't doing that. We don't cheat. Russell wouldn't know what to do with a scuffed ball or some foreign substance anyway. Russell took a little offense to it.\" \n The senior admitted that the moment got the best of him, but also echoed Mainieri's sentiment about foreign substances. Reynolds said the request affected his rhythm and he felt erratic, which resulted in the third batter he faced being walked.

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