#she is offered the choice between staying a kid forever or feeling like growing up all at once and chooses to grow up at her own pace!

[noctfury]

Retelling Peter Pan and focusing on:

Peter ❌️

(Overdone, no one has anything new to say)

Hook ❌️

(Been there done that, he's fun but shallow)

Tinkerbelle 😉

(Disney I am begging you to make more movies could be interesting, most interpretations of her character don't get center focus.)

Literally any side character ⭕️

(Lots of room to explore! Pirates! Lost boys! Neverland locals! You don't see this much, and likely because it requires a lot of narrative skill to make work...)

Wendy ✅️

(Literally the protagonist, often sidelined as Peter or Hook take the spotlight and treated as narrative grease. Give me more Wendy-centric tellings! She has the potential to be the most complex character in the story!)

[tommymaddox]

"Azure," he states. "Down by the coast, near the gallery and aquarium." It dawns on Tommy then just how much the town had changed since their childhood. For him it had been natural changes, one thing after another over a stretched period of time. It all felt normal even after his return from Australia. Twenty years though? Merrock must be a discovery waiting to unfold, though a familiarity with all that still remained from back in the day.

'It's not half bad..." he agrees, followed by "might be getting a bit old for it though." Tommy had been sitting with this idea of not returning to do another season since before he got back. He'd mentioned it in passing to Marlow but hadn't given it thought in the weeks between. He should start considering his next move soon, unable to stand still forever. Tommy shrugs, he feels like his jab was rightfully placed. He isn't about to pretend things didn't happen, he has long outgrown the desire to make everything a perfect image for others to enjoy. It doesn't always work out for him, often getting himself into trouble because of it. Jace's reaction doesn't give him worry, in fact it feels somewhat familiar after all this time. Something about it brings up mornings before school, something about missing shirt or shoes.

"What about this park ranger stuff? What do you have to do for it?" He wants to know more, if not everything. He's starting to understand the why, the connection that Jace has to the outside seems rather important. Whether it's offering Jace escapism or a connection, Tommy isn't sure he'll truly know. But the least he can do is try, this is his brother after all.

"Not the choice to leave, the choice in losing you," Tommy clarifies, a growl to his voice. "We didn't get to choose that you cut us out of your life. You made a choice but it affected more than just you. You made it for all of us. You didn't show up. You didn't connect with us. No one stopped you from leaving, you had needs and you went for them. But you punished us with it too. You made choices and we paid the prices of it." It was twenty years of a stranger sitting beside him. Of moments that should be shared long passed. "Yeah, well, no one wants to be here. It's fucking Merrock. People leave, they still know how to pick up a phone. You're the one we couldn't track, whether you were in the country or even alive was always a question, but we were all in a place you could have found a way to get a hold of." Tommy has to wonder what his parents ever taught them growing up, it felt like they were constantly learning the wrong habits. Sometimes it annoys him how much other families stay linked to one another, jealous that his parents didn't provide that for them. Instead they used them like prized animals on display, coaching them to be perfect to the outside eye. "What did we do wrong? Look, I know I wasn't okay... Dad would get in my head... but I didn't think we were that bad, you and I, for you to just not reach out all these years. Cordelia certainly didn't do anything, she was a kid."

Tommy sits with that. The best outcome he could have wished for Jace's life was to find happiness, health, and freedom. It sounds like he did, at least two of them though he looked healthy enough. He squints, as if he could conjure xray vision to check for anything hidden under the surface. "What changed? Why now? Are you okay?" he asks, suspicious that it was too good for Jace just to want to be here, to see them. Something had to be wrong.

Jason had long given up on the idea of manicures. Of trying to take the calluses out of his hands, or making his skin feel anything less than weathered. He lived outside, he spent every moment that he could outside, and so if Tommy needed a manicure, at least that was something they could both relate to each other on."I'm sure there's some sort of spa in town by now," given the other things that had grown and changed along the way. But he pulled his thoughts away from rough hands to nod thoughtfully at what Tommy was saying. It didn't sound like that bad of a gig, if someone didn't mind the traveling, the long hours, being away from home for such a long time. "Doesn't sound like too bad of a gig," he relented, "long work hours, but if it's just three months, and you make enough to lay low the other nine," he lifted one shoulder. And then rolled his eyes, letting out a hollow, humorless laugh when Tommy mentioned the fact that he always came back home. "Had to get that in there."

He forced himself not to take it personally, knew that Tommy had a right to be upset with him, and knew that he had a right to defend himself, too, but it was easier to talk about his work, at least in terms of the firefighting that he would be doing when he was needed, nodding his head, "I haven't started yet, but we'll see. I've only talked to the chief on the phone when I was making arrangements, still have to go over all of my certification and training," but it was up to date, something he had taken pride in as he studied to become both a park ranger and firefighter at the same time, years ago. "I will," he would have scoffed and rolled his eyes two decades ago. Now, he just nods his head. He had the know how to stay safe in the field, at least.

Annoyance tickled the hairs at the back of Jason's neck as Tommy insisted that it wasn't just about him, that everyone had to deal with his choices. "I know that," he shot back, trying to keep his voice level and in check, refusing to fight with his big brother in the middle of the woods, of all places. "And you have a right to be upset with me if you want to, that's fine, but you did have a choice -- the same way I made my choice to step out and join the Army, to head out west and do what I needed to do to get myself in a safe, healthy place. I get that it hurt, I do, and I'm sorry for the fact that it hurt you, I am," because the last thing that he had ever wanted was to hurt either one of his siblings. It hadn't hurt to leave his parents behind, and he knew that Merrock itself would survive just fine without him, but of course it left an aching behind his ribcage to think about his siblings at home."But I'm not sorry for doing it," he winced, knowing that it wasn't going to be what his brother wanted to hear, but it was what he needed to say. "There wasn't really anything to work out, I… I didn't want to be here."

Running his tongue along his teeth as Tommy said that he had found life, he nodded briefly, thinking that over. In a way, he had. He had landed himself a job, put himself through school, trained and studied and worked his ass off to get to where he was. "Yeah," he answered honestly. "I was happy." For the first time in a long time, nestled in the woods, in his camper, cup of coffee in hand, listening to the birds -- he had been at peace. No lectures from his dad in his bedroom about making something of himself, or speeches from his teachers about needing better grades. No grating alarms before the sun came up, shouting and crying and screaming in the barracks, just… quiet. "But I knew if I didn't come home now, I never would."

[everythingharrypotterblog]

charmed [7]: ‘night changes’ (remus lupin x reader)

a/n: i got rejected from my top choice university program today so if im gonna be unhappy, might as well make u guys happy and release parts 5 and 7

brief summary: y/n and remus are both teachers at hogwarts and this is his first transformation where he is under wolfsbane. y/n remains in human form as he transforms. werewolf or not, all y/n ever feels is him.

series summary: set in the prisoner of azkaban, including its major plot points. remus and y/n get hired by dumbledore last minute to teach at hogwarts, defense against the dark arts and charms respectively. not wanting the students to know they are married, they navigate the challenging year through hidden glances, hand holds underneath the table and loving moments in their offices. even with all their efforts to conceal their relationship, their chemistry does not go unnoticed by the student population of hogwarts, who grow fond of the pair as they offer them some of the best classes they’ve had in a while. their relationship as newlyweds is strengthened as teaching the next generation of wizards unlocks a sea of memories of their love story. for the second time in his life, remus holds hogwarts responsible for some of his happiest memories. he’s given the chance to create them with the love of his life, y/n, who has taught and continues to teach him that every part of him is lovable, remaining forever under her charm.

series masterlist here

join taglist here

7.

previously, in part 1:

“No, you don’t understand, it’s incredibly, extremely dangerous for a human to be around a were-“ Remus had tried to say, before Y/N had stood up and with a crack, disappeared. A single white dove hovered where she had stood, its wings flapping slowly to stay afloat.

“Y/N?”

With a crack, Y/N had appeared again.

“I didn’t know you were an Animagus.”

Y/N grinned. 

“What, you thought James, Sirius and Peter were the only ones to ever succeed at it?”

Remus still grimaced, shaking his head and looking down.

“It’s still too dangerous, I won’t risk it. I couldn’t possibly think of hurting you, I’m too dangerous-“

“Remus, stop it. You didn’t hurt Peter as a rat back in the day, you wouldn’t hurt a flinging bird either. Plus, I got a serious height advantage on you anyway.” Y/N raised her eyebrows at him teasingly, transforming back again into the dove and flying up to the ceiling. Lupin wasn’t convinced.

“Y/N, you shouldn’t-“

The dove reappeared as Y/N and kneeled between Lupin’s legs, taking his face into her hands carefully. 

“Please? Let me be there for you. Let me try-“

“I-“ Remus winced in his crippling self-doubt.

“I promise, if I ever feel unsafe, I’ll fly away. I promise.”

Remus nodded. “I love you.”

Y/N was taken aback, but surged forward to press her lips against his.

“I love you too.”

It was the first time they had said that to each other.

+

The first full moon of the Hogwarts term was now but a day away. As it drew nearer, Remus got paler and grew more irritable, as it always was. 

The students never noticed, as he remained their kind Professor Lupin to them. Remus valued the staff and Dumbledore in extremely high regard, so he mainly kept to himself to avoid conflict.

However, his short temper was not 100% appeasable. 

He was presently in his office, leg anxiously bouncing. He couldn’t help but jitter as restless energy coursed through him. The door opened, and he  jerked his head in its direction, to see Y/N walk in, slightly anxious as well.

“Hi, love.” She said, making her way to him.

“He’s late.” Remus muttered.

“It’s Albus Dumbledore, what do you expect- maybe he had a Wizarding War in Luxembourg to stop before this or something.” Y/N joked, dragging a chair beside her and taking Remus’ hand.

His leg stopped bouncing. 

+

1980.

Remus sat in an armchair in the House of Black’s library, attempting to distract himself before the night would come, a transformation night.

Loud voices reverberated across the walls, and he usually wouldn’t have minded, but the full moon made him more irritable.

“Will you guys stop yelling!” He called out across the hallway to the room where James, Sirius and a couple other Order members were talking over each other.

Sirius shared a look with James and they shrugged, making a motion with their hand asking the others to lower their voices.

“Hi, guys!” In came Y/N’s voice, as she walked through the door after a day of work, setting down her jacket. She joined the table for a few snacks, before inquiring, “Where’s Remus?”

“Ah, in the library.” James said mindlessly, shuffling the pack of cards they were playing with. He spotted Y/N head for that direction, and attempted to add, “But I wouldn’t disturb him if I were-“

But Y/N already walked in the library, wanting to see her boyfriend. She found him buried in a book, sitting slightly uncomfortably in his clothes, as if his body was having pre-transformation aches.

“Hi, love.” She said gently.

Remus peered up from his book and instantly smiled, uncrossing his legs and patting at his lap. Y/N took a seat on him, and he wrapped his arms around her comfortably.

“How was work?” He grumbled, mouth kissing up her arm and shoulder.

“Oh, just the usual.”

He listened to her talk about her day, hugging her as she sat in his lap.

James heard faint sounds of their light voices from the other room, and laughed. Sirius shook his head, both of them amused by their friend’s drastic change in demeanor.

“Little fucker.”

+

Dumbledore appeared in Remus’ office not long after Y/N joined, with a goblet of familiar-looking blue smoke.

“Remus, Y/N. I took the liberty of bringing you your last dose myself, Severus has already done so much. So, you wanted to talk about the logistics of your upcoming transformation.”

Remus nodded, leaning forward and taking the potion.

“This is your first time with Wolfsbane, so we cannot be sure on how it will affect you. However, I trust that it has been brewed properly, so it should do its function, which is to maintain your mental state when you transform.”

“So technically, he could just stay and hide here in his office and wait for the night to be over?” Y/N asked Dumbledore, thumb rubbing over Remus’ hand.

“Yes. If the potion has been brewed correctly, which I am sure it has, Remus should transform into nothing but a harmless wolf. Of course, because this is your first time, if you still wish to go outside and-“

“Yes.” Remus interjected, once he finished the last of the potion. “I wish to still use the Whomping Willow, just to avoid all potential risk.”

“Very well.” Dumbledore smiled, bowing his head. “I have complete trust in you, so you do as you please.”

“And I should… I won’t forget who I am, I won’t lose my mind?” Remus asked.

“No.” Dumbledore confirmed. “Your mental state will stay intact.”

“Then, I can technically be in human form with him.” Y/N gasped as the idea jumped into her head. She was immediately met with startled looks from both Dumbledore and Remus, Dumbledore merely intrigued and Remus looking downright terrified. “I mean, I could be with him. Me, a human.” She added hastily.

Glancing at Remus’ fervently opposed look, Dumbledore merely stood up.

“I will leave that between you two to discuss. Goodnight, and good luck.” He said. “Oh! And one more thing.”

His eyes twinkled. “I hear talk amongst the students since the start of term. About you two.”

Remus and Y/N looked at each other nervously.

“Something about spotting their Charms and Defence teachers always being present in each other’s offices…”

Y/N mouth dropped in shock, trying to figure out how students could even know where they spent their nights, before Dumbledore laughed heartily, shaking his head.

“I kid, I kid, I have heard nothing of the sort. All that has reached my ears are the raving comments about your classes and subjects. Keep up the good work, Professors.” Dumbledore chuckled, and vanished into the fireplace.

Y/N stared dumbfounded at the spot he disappeared, before letting out a laugh.

“I-“ She blinked. “He is so weird, and can you believe, I almost let slip that I’m an Animagus-“

She stopped once she looked at her husband, whose expression was grave.

“Wha-“

“You cannot stay in human form with me.” He shook his head.

Y/N stayed silent for a second. “Why not? If this potion works, and we know it will, your-“

“We can’t be too sure!” Remus sighed. “Werewolves, we hunt for humans. We look for victims to bite, to… to-“

“If the potion doesn’t work, then I’ll just transform into a dove, like always.”

Remus met her eyes in a worried gaze.

“I’ve been a bird countless of times on your transformations, you’re still gonna let me do that, are you?” Y/N raised her eyebrows. “You even said, werewolves look for humans, animal companions are harmless-“

“Which is exactly why you can’t be in human form, darling! The extreme danger that would put you in, you have no idea.”

“I have no idea?” Y/N pursed her lips, instinctively reaching out to her bicep, on which lay a tiny white scar.

Remus glanced at it too, with almost hatred and remorse in his eyes, as he sighed, hand tracing over it and kissing it.

+

“Maybe you should transform right now, my love.” Remus said anxiously as he, Y/N, James, Sirius and Peter walked through an abandoned part of the woods.

The sky was dark, and the clouds radiated a faint shimmer indicating the full moon would appear soon.

“I won’t transform until I absolutely need to.” Y/N said firmly, hand holding onto Remus’ tightly.

“She’ll follow our lead, Moony, don’t worry.” Sirius said.

Unintentionally, they stopped at a small hill, deeming the timing to be right.

“Y/N, it’s not too late, you could just Disapparate away, I-“ Remus said to Y/N.

“Remus. Stop. I’m not scared.” Y/N smiled at him, cupping his cheek. “You’re still you. And I love you, all parts of you. Nothing will change that, or you and me.”

Remus nodded, breathing quickly and pulled her in for a kiss, before the other Marauders beckoned Y/N to back away slightly as the moon started to peak.

The night changed in an instant.

The opal orb shone in the sky and in the moonlight, Y/N watched as Remus’ tall silhouette trembled, his body morphing into a werewolf.

Y/N was in awe. His body lengthened. His shoulders were hunching. Hair sprouted visibly from his head and neck and his hands curled into clawed paws. Straightening up, he howled to the sky, the sound echoing into the rest of the night.

Y/N’s mind went blank. The Marauders had transformed as she kept her eye on Remus. For a second, the werewolf’s eyes met hers, but before she could do anything, he lunged for her.

Adrenaline shot through her body as the werewolf made a swipe towards her, a big black dog jumping in between them just in time for Remus’ sharp claw to slightly graze her shoulder before she transformed with a crack, into a dove and flew up, batting her wings.

+

“I’ll never be able to forgive myself for that.” Remus whispered painfully, finger tracing over the small permanent scratch near Y/N’s shoulder.

“But I’m fine.” Y/N pursed her lips, eyes looking into Remus’ face imploringly. “Because I knew that it wasn’t you. And after the night ended, you cared for me so tenderly and lovingly. Gently. Because that is the real you.”

+

Remus soaked a warm towel for the millionth time as he sat Y/N on the toilet next to the sink to tend the small scratch she had acquired from him.

“Rem, it’s okay, do you realize that I’ve broken literal bones before! This is nothing.” Y/N said, letting him clean the patch of skin before taking both of his hands in hers. He kneeled in between her legs.

“I could never forgive myself for this, I’m so sorry-“

“Please. In the best way possible, shut up.” Y/N smiled, eyes welling up at the unnecessary look of remorse plaguing Remus’ face. “That wasn’t you. And nothing that I saw or felt last night changes who you are to me now.”

“You don’t…see me as a monster? You don’t even feel a tiny bit scared being with me right now?” Remus teared up.

Y/N smiled, eyes crinkling and letting tears fall down her cheeks. “I just feel you.”

+

Y/N woke up from her nap the night of the full moon to find Remus’ side of the bed empty. Eventually, she had gotten Remus to agree to let her accompany him as she always did, but in human form this time.

Getting up, she spotted Remus already at the door. She crossed her arms.

“Are you running away?” Y/N frowned, her husband jumping at getting caught.

“No, I-I figured I’d head out earlier.”

Y/N walked towards him, squeezing his shoulders.

“We talked about this. It’ll be okay.” Y/N reassured him. She saw the fear still in his eyes but he nodded, blinking some away and reaching to get Y/N’s coat for her.

They walked in the chilly night air, making their way to the Forest. Although this felt completely new, they had never done this at Hogwarts and they were expecting new results tonight, there was also a sense of déjà-vu present in the air.

Y/N had been helping Remus with every one of his transformations during their entire marriage and before, ever since she was 18. It’s been almost 13 years that they were in this together.

We're only gettin' older, baby

And I've been thinkin' about it lately

“Thank you for being here.” Remus said, squeezing her hand. “And I don’t just mean tonight.”

Y/N squeezed it back tightly, beaming at him. The moon was close to being fully out, and they stopped on a small hill overlooking Hagrid’s Hut where it would appear in full view.

Does it ever drive you crazy

Just how fast the night changes?

“Remember, if I make any sudden moves, you transform on the spot, okay?” Remus looked down at her, eyes full of conviction. Y/N nodded.

They both stood there, waiting, anticipation through the roof. They felt nauseous, from nervousness. The clouds began to fade, and more moonlight shined onto them. Slowly, they let go of each other’s hands and took a couple steps back from each other.

Everything that you've ever dreamed of

Disappearing when you wake up

The first beam of light hit Remus as the full moon emerged.

But there's nothing to be afraid of

Even when the night changes

His neck began elongating, thick hair growing from his head and covering his back. His shoulders hunched as he grew taller, breaking through the material of his clothes. 

It will never change, baby

Y/N watched from a short distance as Remus morphed into a towering creature. Her incantation was ready in her head, just in case she had to transform into the dove.

It will never change, baby

Slowly, the full-fledge werewolf straightened up from its hunched over position. His eyes met Y/N’s and her body tensed, remembering. Instead of lunging at her, he sat down, his human-like eyes expressing gentleness. Y/N took a tiny step towards him.

“Remus?” She said, voice trembling.

The werewolf nodded.

Taking steps closer, she shakily got down onto her knees to join him on the ground. She lifted a hand, tentatively, and inch by inch, approached it to cup his cheek. At the contact, they both breathed out in relief.

“I just feel you.” Y/N smiled, tears flowing from her eyes.

It will never change me and you.

to be continued

a/n: as always i’d love to hear what u thought or what ud like to see of the series:)

tags @bicyhot1  @pink-hufflepuff  @legitlaughingflamingo @brod16  @gerardonmyway  @blueleonor  @suranne-doesstuff  @rxmusblxck  @spxllcxstxr  @littleemo477  @just12randomfandoms  @svnkissdd  @norrreee  @m4r13l3y  @jess6578  @rorysreallyrandom  @the-nightingale-not-the-lark  @archeve19  @wolfstarslovechild  @pan-pride-12  @x4kai4x  @chrrybmb-mp3  @reggieluna  @happyslittlekitten  @missemilygilmore  @all-things-fictional @strangefirething  @abitofeverythinggg  @yeahshewayout  @imfreeeeeee123  @harold-pothead  @lunnybunny12  @ellieblack11  @tugabooos  @joyfulbiscuit  @justonemorechapter07 @wonderwoman292  @skateb0red  @secretsthathauntus  @siriusblackswhoree  @sabonbonn  @untraveled-road  @annabeljareau  @valiantobservationkitty @diffbeanofbrand  @theeicedamericano​  @spencerreidlove  @flannellover67  @wishiwasdeadric  @becks7401​  @katsav17  @emmy-kitty13  @purritoqueen  @girl22334  @monicafebyana​  @talsiaa​  @sierrax023​  @axva03  @uhh-dk  @nataliahgrace​  

[helloalycia]

worth the wait [two] // daisy johnson

summary: same as the first chapter – it was too long to post in one so this is the remainder of it!

part one | part three | part four | part five | part six | masterlist | wattpad

"What do you think?"

I raised an eyebrow as I poked my head inside the van, glancing around at the cramped space that had stupidly been turned into a living space. There was also, weirdly enough, a computer in the corner which made absolutely no sense.

"I think I have no idea what I'm looking at," I admitted, before looking to an excited Skye beside me. "What is this?"

She bit her lip to contain her grin as she patted the van's door proudly. "This is my new rig."

I almost laughed. "You're kidding."

Her smile lessened. "I'm not."

Now I definitely laughed. "Skye, c'mon, be serious. Whose van is this?"

Her smile disappeared as she clenched her jaw with annoyance. "It's mine. Sorry it isn't fancy enough for you, your majesty."

When I realised she was serious, I lost my smile and looked between the van and her. "Skye, where the hell did you get a van? You can't even drive!"

Clearly holding in her anger, she began to push past me and slide the doors shut. "He said you wouldn't get it," she mumbled to herself, but I heard.

"He?" I questioned with raised eyebrows. "Who the hell is he?"

"Miles," she snapped, stopping moving and looking to me. "Miles is the one who got me the van. He said it was a bad idea to show you and clearly he was right, Y/N. You took one look at it and laughed. He was right."

I smiled tightly, trying not to get worked up at the mention of Skye's new friend. She'd befriended this 'Miles' guy within the past few months and wouldn't stop meeting with him and his friends. He was in the grade above us, but just like her, he'd skip class and do God knows what.

Ever since she'd been hanging around them, she'd been standoffish and distant. She wouldn't contact me as much when she ran away, and she'd been skipping school more often than usual. They were clearly a bad influence on her, but she reassured me she was in control of her own life and knew what she was doing. Being the idiot I am, I fell for her pretty smile and convincing eyes, but this was getting too far now.

"No offence, Skye, but I wouldn't start listening to a guy who can't even make it to class on time," I said to her with a hint of annoyance. "Why do you need a van anyway?"

"Why not?" she countered with her arms crossed. "I thought you'd be happy that I'm finally taking responsibility. Growing up."

My expression softened. "I've never once said that you had to do either of those things."

"You don't need to say it," she mumbled, looking down at her shoes with a frown. "I know you think it. Everyone does."

I stepped forward, resting a hand on her shoulder and finding her eyes with mine. "Where is this coming from? Skye, I have never thought that. All I've ever wanted for you is to be safe and happy. I'm just worried."

She shrugged me off. "Well, now you don't need to be. I've got this."

"You're seventeen, you should be in school studying, not staying in a van," I said tiredly. "You've been missing so much. How are you gonna graduate?"

She avoided my eyes. "That's another thing... I've been thinking and, well, I don't think I want that."

I widened my eyes with disbelief. "What?"

Still avoiding my eyes, she continued, "I don't think I want to graduate."

I was too surprised to find words so quickly. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"How can you not want to graduate?!" I asked suddenly, finding my words. "It's what you do! It's what we all do!"

She met my eyes with apologetic ones. "It's what you do, Y/N. I don't want to be at a place that makes me feel like shit. I can't keep pretending I fit in when I don't."

"This isn't you," I told her sternly. "We were supposed to graduate together. You're not stupid, Skye. I can help you study. You can't just give up."

"I'm not," she said with certainty. "I finally know what I'm doing. That's all."

I squeezed my fists together to contain my frustration. "And what's that?"

"The Rising Tide–"

"For fuck's sake!" I cut her off, before hitting the van door with frustration.

"Miles has taught me a lot!" she defended. "They do a lot of good, Y/N! I just want to be apart of something bigger. Something that can help me help others. And something that can help me find my family. My real family."

I clenched my jaw, knowing I was too late in convincing her otherwise. Whatever Miles and the others had told her about their stupid hacking group had worked – she was dropping out of high school and there was nothing I could do to stop her.

"You're gonna be going to university and we both know I can't afford it," she said gently. "We couldn't stay together forever, Y/N. And my foster family definitely don't care what happens to me. I don't fit in anywhere."

I looked to her with glassy eyes. "You fit in with me. You always have."

She pursed her lips as she stayed quiet.

"I'm sorry I didn't make that clear enough," I added bitterly.

"That's not it and you know it," she muttered, shaking her head. "I have to do this. I have to figure myself out. Alone."

I felt stupid for letting her do everything she did leading up to this point. If I had just tried a little harder, maybe things could have been different.

"You're not alone though, are you?" I asked rhetorically. "You've got your new pals at the Rising Tide. It's their damn fault you're doing all this."

"They're not as bad as you think!"

"You've changed because of them!" I argued back. "They created a barrier between you and I. It's because of them that you've... that you've..."

"What?" she snapped, glaring at me. "That I'm finally thinking for myself?!"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and straightened up. "Forget it, just– forget it. I've got a midterm to study for."

She snickered harshly. "Of course. Don't want me slowing you down."

I stayed quiet and turned around to leave. I couldn't see past my anger as I left her with her stupid van. 

Of course, the two of us had been friends for a lot longer than that silly argument, so I was quick to realise how much I actually cared about her and her life, and wanted to apologise for how harsh and unsupportive I sounded.

The next day after school, I decided to head over to her foster family's place to hopefully talk to her. I'd had enough time to think about it and knew I was a lot more levelheaded now that I'd had some space.

I knocked on the front door and waited before an older blonde woman answered. I recognised her as Skye's foster mum, Sally.

"Hi, Mrs Collins," I greeted with a smile. "I'm looking for–”

"Mary doesn't live here anymore," Sally cut me off instantly, surprising me.

I had almost forgotten that Skye's foster family knew her as the name she was given by her orphanage – Mary Sue Poots.

"She doesn't?" I asked with confusion. "But I thought–"

"Goodbye, Miss Y/L/N," Sally interrupted, before slamming the door in my face.

I blinked with confusion before turning around and walking down the steps. It had been a while since I last visited Skye at home. In fact, she made sure I never visited her at home. I guess now I knew why. But then where the hell was she living?

As I walked around the neighbourhood trying to think about where Skye could be, I saw a familiar van parked up on the side of the street and put the pieces together.

Guiltily, I approached the van and sucked up a deep breath before knocking on the side. It didn't take long for the door to slide open and reveal Skye herself.

"Hey," I said quietly, noticing her surprised expression. "Can we talk?"

She licked her lips nervously and nodded, before moving to the side to let me in. I climbed inside and watched as she shut the door before settling on the seat in front of me. I looked around and realised the little details I hadn't noticed yesterday. The little things that made this place Skye's and nobody else's.

"I'd offer you a drink, but I don't have any," she joked to lighten the mood, and I couldn't help but crack a small smile.

I breathed out before meeting her eyes. "Skye, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have reacted like that. If I had known that this was your home, I–"

"You didn't know," she said, shaking her head with embarrassment. "I didn't want you to know. It's my fault."

I pursed my lips, watching as she looked away with pink cheeks. It hurt me to know that she was embarrassed when I didn't care about any of this, I just cared about her.

"I want you to know that I respect your decision to join the Rising Tide," I said gently, making her look up. "If it's what you want, you should go for it."

"It is," she said with certainty.

I chewed on the inside of my mouth before asking, "Is there no way you can finish high school though? Graduate with me?"

She shook her head. "I don't want to, Y/N."

"But that's the bare minimum," I pleaded. "Hacking isn't a lifestyle. You need to work, too, and I can promise you that most places won't look to hire a high school dropout."

She leaned back in her seat and shrugged nervously. "Miles isn't graduating either. And he's got some friends who haven't graduated. They're all doing fine."

I looked down and pinched the bridge of my nose to contain my frustration. I promised myself I wouldn't argue with her, but the mention of her other friends was like a trigger.

"What now?" she asked with annoyance, realising I was annoyed. "You clearly have something to say about them."

"It doesn't matter," I said, biting my tongue.

"Sure it doesn't," she played along.

"It doesn't," I agreed.

"Yeah, and the Hulk isn't bright green," she said sarcastically.

I looked up and glared at her. She stared back challengingly, practically daring me to speak. So, I did.

"Your new hacker friends are the reason you're making these choices," I told her straight. "They're the reason you're making a huge mistake. The reason you're dropping out. And for what? So you can hack like them?"

She rolled her eyes. "I know you look down on us, but we're more than that."

"Skye, I don't give a shit about them!" I shouted without meaning to. "I only care about you!"

"Then stop talking crap about my friends!" she returned angrily.

"Why do you care about them so much?!"

"They gave me a place to stay when I had nowhere! They made me feel like I belonged!"

I frowned, anger replacing with hurt. "I always offered you a place to stay. I only ever wanted you to be safe. You never needed to be different with me. You belonged. Always."

She swallowed hard and looked away from me ashamedly. "Well it doesn't matter anymore. I'm leaving."

I breathed out deeply. "School? Our town? Leaving what?"

"All of it," she said quietly. "I don't expect you to understand."

I looked down to my fumbling hands, a tear slipping from my eye. I had never felt so angry at someone before in my life. She was treating me like I was a stranger, as if I wasn't somebody who knew her inside out. She was treating me like she treated everyone else except her new friends. And I couldn't deal with it anymore.

"Fine," I said, before moving to open the door. I jumped out her van and didn't spare her a glance as I said, "Have fun with the rest of your life. Sorry I didn't care enough."

She didn't say anything and I didn't expect her to. With a broken heart and headache, I left and didn't bother turning back.

—

"What do you mean she's run away?"

"I'm sorry, Y/N," Mr Lock said apologetically. "Her foster family got the note this morning. They're doing what they can to find her. She always turns up, you know that."

I knew her family didn't care if she was gone or not, so I knew Skye definitely wouldn't be found. Unlike usual, Skye hadn't contacted me before leaving, so something told me she wouldn't be turning up.

Our argument was over a week ago and I hadn't seen her since. It had been eating away at me the way we'd left things, but I couldn't find it in myself to face her. I had no idea what to say anyway. And I wasn't sure when she was planning on leaving, so I didn't think it was important right now. Clearly, I was wrong.

"I just thought you should know," Mr Lock said with a nod. "The police will come by soon to get a statement from you."

As usual. Except this time, I actually had no idea where she was.

I nodded, my mouth going dry. "Thank you... can I go now?"

He nodded hesitantly. "Of course."

I left his office and headed straight outside behind the bleachers where nobody could hear or see me. The first thing I did was try to ring Skye, but there was no answer and no way to leave a voicemail. I tried several times, hoping she'd pick up, but she didn't. And that's when I remembered the burner phone.

Immediately pulling it out, I turned it on and saw the message from her appear on my screen. I was quick to open it, my heart racing like it did every time she ran away. I knew she wasn't coming back this time though.

Hey, Y/N. I know you probably hate me, but I felt like I owed you this. I said I was leaving and I have. I can't tell you where. And I'm not good at goodbyes. I've had too many of them and I couldn't bring myself to say it to you. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I never wanted to, but I guess some things are inevitable, huh? I've managed to do it all my life, this isn't any different. I'm just sorry if I hurt you in the process. Anyway, this is pretty long and I don't even know if you read it, but yeah. I'm sorry. I wish things could have been different.

The text ended there and I found myself rereading it to myself over and over, her words imprinted in my mind. I knew we'd argued and exchanged hurtful words, but I never in a million years thought she'd leave without saying goodbye. I thought I meant more to her than this. But no. I was just another foster family she ran away from. And I wasn't so sure I'd see her again.

[theunboundwriter]

(Ranting publicly because I normally solve my own problems when I involve other people. So, here's a front row seat to my thought process I guess.)

Okay so this is the first sentence of the new first chapter:

This was not the life Kendyleigh imagined for herself. Never in a million years would she have thought that she would one day find herself lying in a pool of her own blood, moon hanging overhead like a scythe, and the man she fell in love with looming over her with a weapon pricked with the intention to kill. 

(more below the cut so it's not super long)

Like, this is so much more interesting than the original. Original was basically "I'm walking in the woods hehe wow I am so lonely!" and it was very basic and boring. BUT it was about 12k words of slowly forming relationships with characters that will be relevant later in the story, and I totally cut out all of that in the new version.

I didn't love the original because it was the MC's first time meeting the other characters, so it was awkward and their relationships felt somewhat forced because I had to explain how they became friends and whatnot and it was a mess. But it did show the leading up to the main event and why it was such a betrayal that her partner had tried to kill her (other than the obvious).

The new version explains Kendyleigh (MC) 's relationships with the other characters but it doesn't SHOW them. It was pretty much a word vomit of "oh yeah they're friends" and "oh yeah they're dating" so the reader just has to take my word for it. And that's the problem I have encountered.

Here's what I'm thinking. Or at least what I am vaguely experiencing somewhere in the hollow chasm of my mind.

The whole plot of the first couple chapters of the original draft is Kendyleigh (who has been alone her entire life and wants to keep it that way because she is cursed to be immortal and that's literally illegal she will be locked away forever if someone finds out) finds a child abandoned in the woods and is like "ayo, I was going to drop you off at the nearest town and leave but this kid has major attachment issues and I can't find it in my heart to abandon him a second time so now we are bonded for life."

The first town she comes across happens to be the kingdom of Highcalare and she would normally avoid places like this but she's got a random kid who hasn't eaten in who-knows-how-long and the nearest town other than Highcalare is who-knows-how-far so she heads to Highcalare.

Basically while she's there this guy named Dane helps her and the kid (named Jack) out and he offers them a place to stay and takes care of them (which Kendyleigh had never experienced before because she's been alone so long) so she grows pretty fond of him.

And then fast forward five years and Dane is like "lmao I'm going to casually kill her don't even worry about it" and when she doesn't die her secret is exposed and everything goes to shit.

Dane trying to kill her is the big event at the beginning that jumpstarts the main plot of the rest of the story.

BUT GETTING TO THIS POINT IN THE STORY WAS BORINGGGG.

I can't stand writing first meetings. They're always so awkward and there's only so much you can say before it turns into a "we are now acquaintances for plot reasons." And I want it to feel natural so there's got to be time to build up that trust between characters so their relationship doesn't feel forced. But I also need this to happen in a few pages because I'm impatient and ready to get on with the story.

So here we are.

In the rewrite, I briefly explain the whole "I found you in the woods and now we are besties for the restie and also this random guy is my love interest for these reasons" but it sounds so fake and forced and the reader has no choice but to be like "okay sounds legit I guess" because there is no backstory, it just is.

The relationships between the characters are explained in flashbacks that jump between Kendyleigh bleeding out on the ground and regretting her life decisions and her reminiscing about her past and the decisions that led her to this moment. It's actually pretty decent writing but as a reader you can't sympathize with the characters because you're being told how to feel... if that makes any sense.

Here's an example of how it's set up:

Her vision began to blur, the man standing over her nothing but a mere silhouette. The whites of his eyes were illuminated by the moon and stars, maybe even tears streaming down his face. Kendyleigh tried to look around for Jack, unable to determine his exact location. She could hear him crying, the sound seemingly echoing around her. It was like she was back in those woods, the screams of a child bouncing off the trees and disturbing everything around them.

If she had not found Jack that day, Kendyleigh would not be here. None of that mattered, though. She wouldn’t trade anything for the time she had spent with him. Those were the best five years of her life, even if they had to end like this. She would relive this day over and over, feel this pain every day, if that meant she wouldn’t have lived without meeting Jack. 

So it's mentioned that she found Jack in the woods, and the screams she's hearing as she's bleeding out on the ground is the same as the screams she heard when she found him for the first time.

I like the way this sounds, it's all fine and dandy. BUT the reader isn't making these connections for themselves, Kendyleigh is blatantly stating how she feels about Jack and I feel like it's less personal that way?

Another example:

Kendyleigh wasn’t sure how he did it, but from that moment on she was sold. Dane offered them a place to stay, he fed them, checked in on them, and he helped Kendyleigh raise Jack. He took care of them, and Kendyleigh couldn’t remember the last time she had been taken care of. It was nice for once to not constantly look over her shoulder, to feel safe and protected. She felt as if she could be vulnerable around Dane, as if all the bad things in the world melted away when he walked in the room. 

In both of these examples it's a "tell" instead of "show." I'm telling the reader how she feels about things rather than showing it, so its just a "take my word for it, this is how she's feeling right now" and you can't sympathize with that as much as you could if I showed you how Dane earned her trust, showed how he took care of them, showed how he made her feel safe, etc, etc.

SO WHAT DO I DO ABOUT IT?

I'm considering that the entire "I found you in the woods" idea isn't necessary. It's only mentioned in the beginning and the only purpose it serves is explaining how Kendyleigh and Jack met. Yeah it helps showing why they are so close, but it's not really needed. I don't think I need to explain how they met in the first chapter, if anything it can be mentioned later on?

If I start the story with them just being in Highcalare, there's no explanation as to why they are there. Which usually isn't a problem, you normally don't have to explain why your character is living in this specific area of town. EXCEPT, for Kendyleigh-- who hates being around lots of people-- this is totally uncharacteristic of her. The only reason she chose to go to Highcalare in the first place (the kingdom where the King would kill her if he could) is because Jack really needed to be tended to in that very moment and it was the closest location where help could be offered.

So if I start in Highcalare, where Kendyleigh forms relationships with characters that are important to the story, I need a reason for her to be there other than Jack. What is this reason you ask? Unknown. No idea.

The only idea I have, that could relatively be not totally boring is that Kendyleigh and Jack are walking through the woods, just traveling and minding their own business, when two guys on horses come out of nowhere and they have their First Meeting. But like... ugh. The potential is there but I'm not in love.

I should probably mention that the second guy is the Prince of Highcalare, Barrett, and he actually becomes good friends with Kendyleigh and is not an asshole.

The original dynamic between Kendyleigh, Dane, and Barrett is that Dane and Barrett hated each other, and Kendyleigh gets a wrong first impression of Barrett because of how Dane influences her perception of him. Barrett is actually a genuinely good guy but it was set up to where he seemed like he would be the villain of the story. I've decided I wanted to dive more into Barrett's character and make him more prominent in the story than he originally was, and I can do this if he and Kendyleigh are more friendly than in the original.

I figure I could set it up in the new draft where Barrett and Dane are somewhat friendly with each other? They started off with such an intense "I hate you and the air you breathe" relationship, but what if they were friends? What if they tolerated each other? With this friendly dynamic, I feel like Dane's betrayal of Kendyleigh would be more intense and hit the reader harder. And then I could highlight how Barrett feels about this betrayal, because that was his friend and it was totally unexpected and he doesn't know how to feel about what just happened because it's literally crazy!

I think I can work with that.

It can start with a prologue perhaps, and I'll do the whole "ah I'm bleeding out because the man I fell in love with shot me ahhh I'm so emo" nonsense, but I won't reveal who it was that actually shot Kendyleigh. The prologue will be brief, just enough to grab someone's attention and make them go "what the hell is going on here?" and then straight to chapter one with Kendyleigh and Jack meeting Dane and Barrett.

OR since I utterly despise first meetings, maybe they already know each other and everyone is chill. But that circles back to the problem of why Kendyleigh would want to be in Highcalare in the first place, since it is uncharacteristic of her.

I like the idea of them all knowing each other, it will make their dialogue and actions more natural and less forced, and I don't need to explain the "yeah they are friends for this reason" because I can show that they are obviously friends based on the way they're acting.

I'm having this thought of "if Kendyleigh knew Barrett was the prince, she would immediately backpedal and distance herself," so what if she didn't know? What if he was just some guy, and then she suddenly finds out he's the prince of Highcalare and we are witness to this freak out moment?

Maybe she and Jack don't live in Highcalare. Maybe they live on the outskirts of town, and they're both dedicated to the nomad lifestyle, this is just where they happen to be right now. It doesn't need to be explained how they met Dane and Barrett-- not in the beginning, anyway-- but first chapter they just show up at the house and they're all just hanging out and having a good time. I'll figure out the situation of what they're doing at this moment later, so it's not just a stand-still scene. They've got some sort of task they're doing. I'm sure it's like, some sort of "I am supporting you" moment. Whatever it is is to be decided.

After relationships are shown, and you have a decent idea of how everyone is and how they act, some kind of something happens and Jack and Kendyleigh end up in Highcalare and they know Barrett is the prince. Maybe something crazy like their house burns down, I don't know. Whatever happens, it ends with Barrett being like "Come stay at my place, we've got plenty of room and it would be no problem."

And with this invitation, Kendyleigh meets the King (who would flip his shit if he knew she were immortal) and it's a tense situation for her and she's obviously very nervous. She's feeling a little overwhelmed because she has been friends with the son of the most powerful person in the nation without even knowing and that's just not good for her safety. She'll have a little internal conflict with herself, and I'm sure Barrett will notice this and they'll have a tender moment.

But is it boring? Are we bored? I can’t tell?

This is all to set up their relationships so you get attached to the characters and throughout the rest of the book when they are crawling through hell and back you yearn for them to be happy and go back to when times were simple and carefree. It makes the agony and the shit show that they're fighting through so much more terrible because you remember what they were like before all the bad things happened. And that's important! I want you to suffer while you read this! And you can't be sad about their situation unless you know about how things used to be.

But I don't write happy and carefree things, which is why I'm not in love with the idea of writing this new beginning because I will be bored. But I must! It must be done!

And throughout their happy adventure chapters I can hint at Dane growing suspicious of Kendyleigh, and I can foreshadow the ever-loving shit about what is going to happen. That's lovely! I can hint at Dane's character, how he is not a good guy but he's so good at pretending he is. I can show Kendyleigh falling for him, show how he takes care of her and Jack and how perfectly splendid their life is.

Then I rip their hearts out of their chests and stomp on it as they watch their happy ever after go up in flames.

So yeah, the plan is there. I'm not happy about it. But it's a necessary plan. Maybe there will be a weird love triangle. Who freaking knows. It wasn't my intention for love to spark but I don't have control over my characters they do what they want.

Um. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. If you read all of this, I am actively kissing you on the mouth.

I-- I am working on the second draft of The Prices We Pay and I'm about 1/4 of the way through the book, okay? And the first chapter is absolute poetry I tell you but it doesn't fit with the vibe of the rest of the book and I don't know what to do?!?!?

I decided that the original first chapter was super boring and so when I was rewriting I made the new first chapter begin in the middle of the major event that gets the story going. It definitely hooks the reader better and makes you want to keep reading to know what happens next but it also gets rid of the important relationships my MC forms with other characters before the main event.

It's also caused a "I can't feel sad about the things happening to this character because I have no happy times to compare this to" situation and I am sobbing because I'm struggling to find a happy medium between "I want to know what happens next" and "this is super boring"

[bruhstories]

Baby, I’ve Already got Your Heart

Summary: An accidental meeting between Armin and Y/N leads to an unhealthy obsession. Pairing: Armin Arlert x Fem!Reader (modern AU) Warnings: stalking, language, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, fingering, oral sex (male receiving), oral sex (female receiving), switch!Reader, switch!Armin, rope is involved. Word Count: 2.5 k

A/N: This fic is heavily inspired by this song. It is surprisingly wholesome, considering the tags xD

Armin Arlert. The purest man in the world. You accidentally met him one cold, rainy day when he entered your coffee shop for shelter and warmth. He naively talked to you, grateful for how nice you were with him, grateful for the cappuccino on the house, grateful for the towel you offered him to dry himself off. Little did Armin know, a fixation sprouted in your mind and heart, developing into the unhealthiest obsession. He was just so cute — and you just had to have him. It helped to know that you were both going to the same university, and after that, you knew everything about him: his Facebook, Instagram, email address, hell, you even knew his real address. To be fair, it was a piece of cake, the boy was absolutely clueless and whenever he 'accidentally' met you, he thought it was by pure chance. The next and most obvious step was to befriend people in his social circle, one Jean Kirstein, one Sasha Braus and one Connie Springer. Naturally, you did your homework, and you knew his best friends were Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman, but they weren't easy targets. Besides, it would jeopardise your entire plan, as you found Armin was considered a genius. An oblivious genius. He didn't know it yet, but you loved him and he loved you too, right?

A text from Sasha, months after you first met the angelic man, set your plan in motion. A casual gaming night at Armin's place, and you were invited. How perfect. Poor glutton Sasha had no fucking clue how much you were using her, how you told her you want to meet a cute guy, someone nice and caring, someone smart and attentive. The girl put two and two together and decided she just had to introduce you to one of her friends, especially that he was also interested in meeting a girl like you. Unbelievable — you acted surprised, met up with Sasha and left for Armin's little gaming night. You wouldn't let this opportunity go to waste. Starting from tonight, he'd be yours. Forever.

"Armiiiiiiiiin, I brought a plus one!" Sasha barged into his house. "This is my friend, Y/N. Y/N, Armin! Oh shit, pretzels!" The brown-haired woman left the two of you in the hallway and the blond flashed you a smile.

"I feel like I've seen you before." He mused as he closed the door behind you.

"If you ever drink coffee at Rose's you might've seen me there." You smiled and removed your leather jacket, revealing a Pearl Jam t-shirt.

"No way you listen to them!" Armin blurted.

"Are you kidding me? They're my favourite!" You lied through your teeth with a sickly-sweet smile.

"Mine too! Oh, I know, you're the girl who gave me a free cappuccino months ago!"

"I remember! You were drenched in rainwater." You laughed as the two of you entered the living room. "I had to mop up the puddles you left behind."

"I'm so sorry about that..." He blushed. Your heart fluttered and you couldn't wait to get your hands on him, but for the time being, you needed to behave.

"No worries, I just hope you didn't catch a cold." You assured Armin and sympathetically placed a hand on his shoulder. There he goes, blushing again. It couldn't be... was he a virgin? Fuck. This was better than you could've imagined.

"Who's this?"

"Oh, Mikasa, Eren, this is Y/N. She's friends with Sasha."

"Nice to meet you!" Eren shook your hand. "Oh, God, you listen to Pearl Jam, too? You nerds are going to get along just fine." He joked.

The night went great, and you actually had fun with Armin and his friends, despite not intending to mingle with them too much. People started leaving around 2 am, but Eren and Mikasa stayed longer. Too fucking long — and things were boring now anyway. You and Armin kept talking about video games and books, Mikasa fell asleep on Eren who was playing fucking Farmville on his phone. They had to leave as soon as possible.

"Hey, Y/N, we can take you home." Eren suggested and you froze. Shit.

"Didn't you say you're almost out of gas?" Armin questioned his friend.

"Ah, fuck, you're right. I still don't know how that happened — I fuelled the tank yesterday!" The brunette scoffed. "Guess you're on your own, Y/N."

"It's alright, I'll take an uber." You politely smiled.

"Alright, we'll wait for you."

Oh, for fuck's sake. Truth be told, you appreciated how nice and caring Armin's friends were, but you had a different goal to accomplish.

"You really don't have to, plus I have to use the bathroom." You excused yourself. "Um, where is the bathroom exactly?"

"Upstairs, first door on the right." Armin told you while gathering plates and cups from the table. You nodded and climbed up the stairs. Your hand hovered over the bathroom doorknob for a good minute, eyes drifting to the door next to it. Armin's bedroom, by the looks of it. Surely, you could take a look, right? Fuck it. You opened the second door and at first glance, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. LED and fairy lights encircled a corner of his room and, curiously, you walked closer to see what that was, because it didn't look like a desk. Your Y/E/C widened when you saw tens of framed photographs of yourself on the square table, objects you thought you lost and — Jesus, was that your bra? A rush of anxiety hit you, but before you could do anything, a blow to your head blurred your vision.

•°☆°•☆•°☆°•

Dark lashes fluttered as you opened your eyes. The sudden realisation that you were naked and restrained to a bed made you jolt. What just happened?

"Fucking finally, I thought you'd never wake up." Armin greeted you, but his voice was different, deeper and darker.

"Ar-ugh, Armin?" You groaned at the stinging sensation at the back of your head.

"You know, I was relieved you didn't leave with Sasha, otherwise you would've slipped between my fingers again."

Again?

"Ugh, and Eren and his stupid idea. 'We'll take you home.'" He mocked his best friend with a high pitch. "I've been dreaming for this moment since I walked into that shitty coffee shop."

You were at a loss for words. This was not the Armin you fantasised about, not the Armin you wanted. He was much more and much worse. And. So. Much. Better.

Alright then, you'd put up a show for him.

"P-please, Armin, please untie m-me! I'll be good, I p-promise!" You stuttered and whimpered, trying your best to sound genuine.

"Why, so you can run away?" The blond scoffed. So, he didn't know you stalked him. What a twist.

"I won't r-run, I swear!"

"Bullshit." Armin bent over your body, hands around your neck. You gasped and pretended to be startled by his touch, but in reality, your core was already burning with lust. You knew you couldn't keep up with this charade. "No, Y/N, I won't untie you. But we'll have so much fun." He sneered.

"You promise?"

"Yes. Wait—"

Your laughter filled the bedroom, genuine laughter that baffled Armin. Was this some sort of reverse psychology trick?

"Oh, Armin, even when you reveal your true colours, you're still oblivious to the reality of what's in front of you."

"Then enlighten me, what am I so oblivious to?" He folded his arms across his chest and waited.

"The fact that this was my fucking plan, too." You stretched as much as your restraints allowed you to and licked your lips. "I guess we both stalked each other without even knowing. How ridiculous."

"I think I would've known if you stalked me, Y/N."

"Really? Let me prove it, then. Your favourite food's Carbonara pasta, your favourite drink is peach and lychee iced tea, favourite movie is Interstellar, you lived on Sheena street until you were 12–"

"That's common knowledge, Sasha could've told you any of that." Armin blurted, growing impatient.

"You watch BDSM and asphyxiation porn between 10 pm and 11 pm every Tuesday, you're a virgin, you own a fleshlight–"

"Fuck, alright!" He threw his hands in the air, defeated. "So, what next?"

"You untie me and you tear me apart, Armin, that's what's next."

The blond hesitated before removing the cuffs on your ankles, still unsure about the ropes around your wrists. Clearly, you weren't making things up, but what were the chances of both of you stalking each other? For a brief moment, Armin felt guilty for hitting you and practically holding you captive, and you could see that on his face, but obsession and desire soon took over, and he reverted back to his darker self. His soft hands moved from your ankles to your knees, up your thighs and stomach, stopping above your chest, deciding it's best if you're not fully free. Armin licked his lips and climbed on top of you, unbuttoning his flannel shirt. You thought was surprisingly strong for such a thin man, but when the unbuttoned shirt revealed his chiselled abdomen, it made sense why he was strong.

"The wrists, Armin." You insisted but the blond clicked his tongue.

"I like you better when you're helpless." He pressed his lips onto yours in a hot kiss. A great kiss, you thought, your tongues wrestling for supremacy.

"Please, I want to touch you! I need to..." You trailed off, intoxicated by his smell, notes of saffron and cardamom. His hands roamed your shoulders, tickling your axilla and groping your breasts. "Please let me touch you, Armin!" You begged again, but he didn't say a word, his hot breath fanning over your oversensitive nipples, goosebumps all over your skin. His pink tongue poked out of his mouth and you watched him painstakingly slowly lick one of your nipples. It literally pained you to be unable to touch him, pull him closer to you. Alas, you had no choice, and despite yearning to be in control, it aroused you to have him control you.

"You smell so sweet." He abruptly stopped. "I bet you taste sweet, too."

"Armin..." His words made you brace yourself. While you weren't a virgin, you've never had anyone eat you out. The blond was already in between your legs, one hand resting under your thigh, the other gently touching your slick folds. Armin was so careful, like you were made of glass, and the ticklish sensation didn't help you at all. You wanted him to ram his cock inside of you and rearrange your guts, but he wanted to take his sweet time. The teasing only made you dizzy with pleasure, and you bucked your hips, trying to get him to move faster.

"You really need to learn to be patient, Y/N." Armin purred, pressing gentle kisses on your thighs. He lazily dragged his tongue across your slit, electricity shooting through your body. God, how you wanted to rip those ropes apart. Two fingers entered you and the blond gingerly licked your clit.  

"Fuck– so... so good ah–" You couldn't form a sentence even if your life counted on it. Gradually, you could feel your orgasm building up and Armin sensed it, picking up the pace. His fingers thrusted harder and you arched your back, the intensity too much for you. "Armin, please! I wanna come with your cock in me!" The begging didn't stop him, he was determined to make you finish then and there. And he did — within seconds you melted under his touch, legs trembling with pleasure. Armin pulled back, his mouth messy with saliva mixed with your juices.

"You come when I want you to come." His voice was low, almost like a growl. He unbuttoned his jeans, and you watched him like a hawk, waiting to see just how big his was, and you were not disappointed.

"Please please please let me suck it, please!" You begged him, eager to taste him. He smirked and kissed you, all the while rubbing his cock.

"You want this?" Armin quirked a brow at you. The little shit, jacking off in front of you and you couldn't even do anything about it.

"Armin..."

"Say it. Say you want it."

"Armin!"

"Say it, Y/N." He groaned, precum leaking from his member. Fuck.

"I... I want it..." You eventually gave up.

"Good girl." The blond climbed back on top of you. He raised your hips and you placed your legs on his shoulder, his first thrust slow and deep. Armin couldn't help the moan escaping his lips — this was so much better than that shitty fleshlight and countless porn videos. You couldn't deny the fact that it hurt, despite your soaking cunt, but you quickly adjusted to his size. As Armin pounded you, the bed underneath the two of you started moving and screeching, and the ropes tied to the metal bedframe loosened and you felt your arms fall onto the pillows. In his frenzy, the blond didn't notice, so you took this opportunity to lower your legs and wrap them around his waist, one hand grabbing his soft locks, the other wrapping around his neck. You used his weight against him and turned him over. You were in control.

Armin was taken aback by this, but the feeling of your fingers squeezing his throat only turned him on more. You bounced up and down, throwing your head back and groaning. He gripped your hips tightly, thrusting his own hips against yours.

"F-fuck me harder, Y/N!" He begged and you sped up. You felt like a queen — no, a goddess — when he asked you to fuck him, the feeling of him inside of you so addictive. He was your drug, and your rehab, your poison, and your antidote. And you were his and his only. His cock was twitching in your cunt and knew he was close but you didn't want to risk it. Swiftly, you got off of him and wrapped your lips around his dick, bobbing your head up and down. It didn't take long for him to finish, hot liquid shooting down your throat with one final grunt. You swallowed it all and threw yourself next to him. It was breaking dawn already, but you weren't tired. Physically, yes, both of you were exhausted, but mentally it felt like you discovered a hidden gem.

"What the fuck did we just do?" Armin calmly caressed your hair as you nuzzled his neck.

"Are we talking about the obsessively stalking each other part or the part where you hit me in the head? Or the fucking?"

"The everything." He explained. "This is wrong."

"Did it feel wrong?" You asked him, your fingers idly tracing circles over his chest.

"Well, no..."

"Then it's not wrong." You shrugged. "Am... am I yours?"

"Yes." The blond instantly replied without a trace of hesitation in his voice. "Am I?"

"You've been mine the moment you set foot in that shitty coffee shop." You laughed.

"And what are we going to tell the others?"

"That we ended up talking all night and I stayed over?"

"Sounds like a plan." Armin kissed your forehead.

"By the way, I really don't like Pearl Jam." You admitted.

He laughed and it filled your heart with warmth. You have no idea why you and Armin were like that, or how things would be from now on, but you had a good feeling about it. Things were okay. You two were okay.

[honeypirate]

Can I request a All Might x reader where class 1-A finds out hes dating someone whose quirk is a siren (Can control someone when they sing)? Maybe the students reaction especially Midoryia?

I don’t know if I did this one justice hahah but I did my best!

AllMight x reader (I went for gn but I might have slipped up in a few places just let me know)

Hero name: Sirenity

“Okay class today we are having a surprise special guest coming to talk to you guys” Aizawa sounds completely uninterested in this day and honestly he did feel like it was a drag, but he figures with your lecture and answering questions he could buy at least a 30-40 minute nap, at best you’d take up the whole hour. That is if nothing went wrong and with you being the number 5 hero he doesnt think too much trouble will happen. “They are a fairly new hero but that didn’t stop them from rising to the top ten quickly” you walk through the door and chuckle when it seems you interrupted him introducing you.

“Sirenity here will be talking to you about their experience with hero training and being a side kick” You were a few minutes early and Aizawa was mentally adding the few minutes more to his nap time. As Aizawa was zipping up his sleeping bag you stopped in front of the class with a smile “Good morning class!” you say to the students who were freaking out talking to each other about how cool you are, you see a green haired boy absolutely losing his damn mind in the back, muttering to himself while staring with wide eyes. “QUIET!” Aizawa yelled from his place on the floor and the class stopped talking, the green haired boy snapping out of whatever he was doing.

“Hey guys! I’m Sirenity and if you aren't familiar with me my quirk is like a siren, I can control people when I sing. I’m also an amazing swimmer but it isn’t related” you chuckle and watch the green haired boy laugh and then scribble intensely in a notebook, a few other students gave you pity laughs or smiles and you took it, any laughter is good in your book.

“When I graduated from UA, I was actually in general studies. It wasn’t until I went to America and went to a hero university that I realized what I could offer as a hero. I actually had a little help and training from a friend to really encourage me to realize my dream.” green haired boy’s hand flies in the air, his other hand coming over his head to hold his elbow, his eyes shine as he waits for you to call on him. “Yes in the back? What’s your name?” he stands and bows “Izuku Midoriya Ma’am/Sir but my hero name is Deku!” you hold in a chuckle as you smile at his enthusiasm, realizing this is the boy that All Might talks about all the time. a blonde in the middle of class snickers but you ignore it “it’s a pleasure to meet you Deku” he stands up straight and sends you such an intensely excited look “did you know All Might in America?!” he asks and then sits back down

“I did actually, he was the friend i was talking about. I stayed in America though when he came back here” you smile at the young boy as he scribbles away again, his question and the subject making you think about those days when you first met All Might. Strong and cocky, always smiling. You didn’t like him when you first met him, thought it was weird that a kid in your same high school also came to the same area in America. You kept finding yourselves around the same people during parties which was even more annoying when you were actively avoiding him. You blame his best friend at the time who was dating your best friend at the time. After a party that ended in drinking games with truth or dare and spin the bottle, you got to know him a little bit better and you became actual friends when you both ditched before they could rope you into seven minutes in heaven.

“Hey” you say with a slight chuckle as he walks into the kitchen where you were “hey” he says as you open the fridge “do you want a bottle of water?” “yes please” you chuck one to him on the other side of the kitchen. “You’re a…. support student?” he asks and you shake your head “general studies right now, thinking about going into law” you involuntarily scowl at the thought, it was what your parents wanted and you thought they were right. “Why do you look like you would rather die than do that?” he asks, pulling a deep sigh as you confess “it’s what my parents want for me” he moves close to you until he’s leaning against the counter across from you “what do you want for you?” you shrug “I dont know” he chuckles and takes a sip of water “why do I feel like you do know?” your cheeks flush and you dont feel like you could really sell a lie right now, you sigh again “i’ve always had a dream to be a hero, but I was in the general studies course in high school and now I’m undecided here. I feel like I wasted time and now I don't have a choice” you hop on the countertop behind you, kicking your legs gently “but you always have a choice. It is never too late to be a hero someone can count on. You never know if you are the one hero that someone needs! You can do anything! What is your quirk?” you get shy from his intensity and you look at your thighs “I can control people when I sing” you whisper and he closes all distance between you, tilting your chin up to meet his eyes “that is an AMAZING quirk! You are going to be an amazing hero! I can help you if you want” he says and you feel for the first time in your whole life that maybe, just maybe you could be a hero even though you’re late to the game.

“But any more questions will have to wait until the end!” you say when you see Deku’s eyes flash up to you again, a million questions floating around his eyes and he laughs with a nod. You continue with your story, recounting the extra training you had done with All Might to prepare for your hero exams, the exams you didn't have to take in high school. How an encouraging word from a friend was all you needed at times to get your ass in gear. You talk to them about your internship with America’s #4 mind hero, Brian, who’s one choice behind his name was that he thought it was funny because its just one misspelt letter from being Brain. His birth name wasn’t even Brian.

“After my internship I was offered a sidekick position with him, around this time was when All Might came back here, I had plans to come back as well but I couldn't refuse his offer. I worked with Brian for three years, during those times I grew exponentially as a hero and as an individual. you may want to rush the process of being a sidekick so you can become your own solo heroes, getting all the praise for yourselves. But this time in your career will mean so much and I really insist that you take the opportunity every day to learn everything you can from the heroes you work with. As someone who was late to the game, I have no doubt you will grow into even more amazing and brilliant heroes. More so than those we have right now, and yes I do mean All Might. You guys are the heroes of tomorrow! That is amazing! And I’m telling you right now you have a lifelong fan already” you point at yourself and mouth ‘ME’ with a smile “I am behind you all, ready to support your dreams just like my hero supported mine.” You pause for a moment “Any questions?”

Deku’s hand was up first followed by half of the class all raising their hands. You beam at the kids response “okay when i call on you please tell me your name or hero name, whichever you are comfortable with. Deku” you look over at him “I’m guessing you have about a billion questions?” he nods shyly, his cheeks flushing “that’s fine, i feel flattered honestly how about you ask the biggest one you have right now and then after you can stay behind and i’ll answer every single one. That goes for everyone who has more than we can get through in the next 15 minutes of class” they all nod and you begin taking questions.

You had all questions about being a sidekick or a pro, how hard it was rising the ranks, a blonde boy who introduced himself as Aoyama, who you thought was adorable, asked you how to not get scared, you smiled warmly at him “to quote one of my favorite american movies, “courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something is more important than your fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.”

You paused for a moment as you looked across the class, some really thinking about what you have said “I have fear, I feel it often, but I let the fear fuel my actions, let it make me brave because my biggest fear is about what would happen if I didn’t act.” you see Deku pause for a moment to truly think about your words before he scribbles away again.

You call on a pink haired student “hi i’m Mina Ashido! Hero name Pinky!” you love her energy “what’s your question Pinky?” she grins “I read in Hero Daily that you said you still find time for dating as a pro and that your boyfriend is also a pro. Do we know him?” she sits down and then adds “oh! What was that American movie?” you chuckle, your cheeks heating thinking about your boyfriend.

Before you could answer the door opens and All Might walks in “speak of the devil” you say with a grin and then turn back to Mina “the movie is the princess diaries. And you guys do know him i think quite well actually. Just another rebut of advice, if you guys want to date as pros, then you can find time for it if you really want that. It isn't for everyone and that’s okay too. But there is someone out there who will be an understanding partner and help encourage you. Don't give up any of your dreams, you can have all of them if you want them.” All might has stopped next to you as you talk, his hand resting on the small of your back as he leans up to whisper in your ear “I couldn't wait any longer. I missed you” your cheeks flush and the class starts to put 2 and 2 together, whispering to each other as you turn and kiss his cheek, Mina squealing in excitement, whispers flying around, blonde boy that hasn’t said anything this entire time was staring with mouth open, and you can feel the energy Deku is pouring out as his scribbles freeze as he stares at his idol and hero. His hero had a significant other and he didnt know.. He knew everything about All Might so how come he never knew he had a S/O and why didnt All Might Say anything?! Waves were rolling off the kid but you didn’t say anything about it yet, you just leaned closer to All Might “I missed you too” you whisper back to him but before you can say anything else the bell rings, signaling the end of class.

Deku stays frozen in his seat as the rest of the students get their things together and leave the classroom, some stopping to shake your hand and talk to you for another second before leaving. All Might’s hand never leaving your back. When the room is clear, somehow Aizawa slipping out unnoticed as well, your eyes flick to Deku, still seated frozen. “Young man what’s wrong?” All Might says and he finally snaps out of it.

“Do they know about …?” he asks and you chuckle “yes I do. He talks about you a lot by the way” you say and smile at the sweet way the boy’s face flushes and his eyes widen, smiling like you just gave him the best news. “How come you never told me you were in a relationship?” Deku asks and All Might laughs “you never asked me about my dating life” you walk down the rows of desks and sit in the one next to Deku’s “I’m happy to answer any more questions you may have” you say and the boy short circuits again when you sit next to him. He cannot believe how lucky his day was, getting a one on one interview with an amazing pro hero that is also dating his Idol and father figure, give him a minute, he’ll pull himself together.

You spend the next 30 minutes answering every question the young hero had for you and All Might answered some for you, ones that you couldn't really explain correctly. This was probably your most favorite interview, his questions were almost entirely about your hero work, they were thought out and original questions that weren’t superficial to make the public interested in you. This boy wanted to know every single thing about you as a hero, not you as a public celebrity. His eyes bright as he learns more, asking how you defeated your worst villain, asking your weakness was a fun one, you never got that before since it was fairly obvious.”hard of hearing individuals, ear plugs” you say and he laughs “i should have known that” All Might shakes his head, sometimes common sense eluded the boy, he was so intelligent and unafraid of asking questions that sometimes he lacked common sense for seemingly simple things.

“I’m sorry Midoriya but Sirenity here has to get back to work now” Deku frowns but understands, you give him your personal email in case he has any more questions and then you follow All Might out of the classroom. You chuckle once you reach All Might’s office, he locks the door behind you and then pulls you into his arms “if you wanted some one on one time with Deku’s new favorite hero you should have just asked” you joke as you wrap your arms around him. “I know you dont have work but i do soon and i needed a little time with my brilliant and amazing partner before then. Midoriya will understand plus you gave him a way to contact you.” you nod into his neck “how long until you have to go?” you ask and he looks at his watch “20 minutes” you smile and take his hand, pulling him over to the couch he has in his office and you sit down with him, laying back and pulling his head to your chest, pulling your gloves off with your teeth, carding your fingers through his hair. The entire time he had was spent laying together, as he moves to get up you realize something, they think you are only partners, only dating… “Hey Yagi? How do you think Midoriya will react when you tell him that we aren't just dating and are in fact engaged?”

[knickynoo]

Do you have any thoughts on Marty and his self esteem issues? In most of the trilogy, I feel like Marty ranges from experience a lot of insecurity at best, to like a considerable amount of self loathing at worst, (like pls Marty, Doc getting struck by lighting was not your fault? You’re not Thor?) . And there’s the whole chicken thing, so I was curious if you had any thoughts on where it stems from, how it’s affected him etc etc? Okay lmao that’s it, have a great day !!

Hello! Do I have thoughts?? Yes. I do.

So, one of the things I like so much about Marty as a character is that...he's kind of an enigma of sorts? Like. Here's this kid who skateboards, rocks that denim jacket and the cool sunglasses, plays guitar, has a pretty girlfriend, etc. You take all of that, and it should reflect a really confident, popular person. I mean, with all the stereotypical "cool guy" attributes considered, Marty should have Ferris Bueller-level confidence and charm. He should be strutting around, smooth-talking everyone, laughing in the face of danger, and possessing unshakeable self-esteem. But he does/has none of those things because, as we all know, Marty is A Mess (affectionate). And yeah, a lot of it seems to stem from self-esteem issues, which we do see sprinkled throughout the trilogy. Where's it all coming from? Well, a lot of places, most likely...

• FAMILY: Probably the biggest factor. Though I'm sure George and Lorraine were sincerely in love for a while at the beginning of their relationship/marriage, I think it's fair to assume that any real spark between them had pretty much fizzled out by the time Marty came along or when he was a young kid. Take a loveless relationship between a meek, subservient man and a woman who drinks away her feelings, factor in a 17-year-old boy who's probably never had any real semblance of parental stability in his house, and it's highly likely that kid is going to have some issues. It's really difficult to believe in yourself & feel secure when the norm is having parents who are wrapped up in their own worlds/rarely interact with each other, seeing your father get emotionally (& physically!) pushed around by his supervisor, and watching your mom cling to alcohol and sink into depression.

• Plus, there are the separate relationships George and Lorraine have with Marty. Granted, we don't see much of it, but what we see at dinner is probably a good example of a typical interaction. George is quick to steer Marty away from any situation where he may face rejection or hardship. And yeah, he may think he's protecting his son, but this strategy is actually pretty harmful. I can imagine that any time Marty is feeling nervous or let down, and goes to his father seeking encouragement, he's only left with the impression that it's better not to take any risks at all because he might fail anyway. Instead of being built up, any potential self-worth is being chipped away at by George.

And as far as Lorraine is concerned, I get the impression that she's (more often than not) critical and judgemental of Marty. She's not shy about airing her strong dislike for Jennifer, during which Marty stays completely silent and unresponsive. Perhaps Marty's general default around his mom is silence, due to him having learned a long while back that he's better off keeping his mouth shut. I can see Lorraine lecturing Marty often, picking apart every little flaw she may see in him (friends, grades, attitude, etc.), especially when she's had too many drinks and especially when you consider that Marty is probably her most "difficult" child. Sad as it may sound, I can't picture Marty walking away from very many interactions with his mother feeling good about himself.

• GENERAL ANXIETY/NEURODIVERGENCY: Marty is an easily flustered, anxious guy. And whether that stems from his home environment or genetics (I mean, look at George), I don't know. But he definitely seems to be a sort of nervous, hesitant kid, particularly in the first movie. I also, like most of the fandom, headcanon Marty as having ADHD. And like...if that's the case for him, it certainly isn't helping at all with the self-esteem stuff. He's written off as a slacker at school, told he'll never amount to anything, and probably struggles a lot to keep up in his classes and survive in an environment that almost definitely doesn't offer any form of support or accommodations. That would be a big blow to his self-worth as well.

People with ADHD also tend to be very critical of themselves, worry about what others think of them, and have a hard time with rejection. Hence, the one rejection at the audition followed by, I'm just a big, stupid failure and I'll never ever be good enough. My world is crumbling, I should just give up everything forever =(((

(What do you mean those weren't his exact words??)

• BONUS: Marty might also face a decent amount of social isolation/teasing due to his friendship with Doc, which would take a toll on confidence too. Also, I just...don't think that Marty has many friends??

When you take all the above factors, Marty's self-esteem issues make a lot of sense and, if not for Doc, would probably run a lot deeper than what we see in the trilogy. ALSO!

• Marty blaming himself for Doc getting hit by lightning in the DeLorean: I've seen a few people comment on this and how they think it's ridiculous that Marty felt guilty but...it's always made a lot of sense to me, actually. No, Marty didn't cause the lightning, but he did set off the chain of events that led to Doc being there at that moment. If he'd had the inner strength/self-control to walk away from Biff outside of the dance, he could have just joined Doc on the roof with the almanac and they'd have been on their merry way. And even if Biff had continued to challenge him, or even followed him, Marty likely could have created a diversion or gotten an adult at the dance to help and still made it up to the roof before the worst of the storm hit. But because he couldn't stand being called a chicken, he ended up taking a door to the face, had the book stolen back, and had to go on that little side adventure to retrieve it, which led to Doc needing to save him. So yeah, I'm actually team Marty on this one. His choice did lead to Doc being catapulted into the Old West, lol. I'd have been consumed with guilt too.

• The Chicken Thing: I'm not going to go into too much detail (HA!) because this is already ridiculously long, but I will say that I don't go by the more popular headcanon that says Marty's sudden inability to handle being challenged is due to the updated timeline taking effect and "altering" him. Essentially, that Marty growing up with a confident, successful father made him have higher expectations put on him, and so he was always striving to prove he could live up to them.

I actually don't think any ripples from the new timeline catch up to Marty yet during the course of the trilogy. (I tend to headcanon that as happening gradually in the coming weeks and months after he gets home). Instead, I think that Marty's inclination towards becoming feral at the words "chicken", "yellow", etc. is because of his life in his original timeline. Growing up with a jellyfish for a father, it makes sense that Marty would want to distance himself as much as possible from being associated with weakness. He'd want to prove himself that much more because everyone around him would probably think he's just like his cowardly old man.

And though I know it's not really possible (because they weren't planning on a 2nd or 3rd movie), I think a case can be made that there's a glimpse of the "chicken thing" in the first movie, in the scene of Marty and Lorraine in the car at the dance. I mean, he gets all upset and tells her not to drink, but then she calls him a square, uses the classic peer-pressure tactic of, everyone's doing it, and he caves instantly and takes a swig. Could be because he doesn't want to be thought of as a square, or could be because he's desperate to calm his nerves a bit. Either way, Marty doesn't seem to fare too well when challenged or put under pressure, so I lump this scene in as a "chicken" moment.

I...need to stop. I set out to write a quick response to this. Like, a paragraph or two. But this question activated Hyperfocus Mode, and I blinked and now it's 2 hours after I started and I have AN ESSAY.

Thanks for the ask! *goes to lie down*

[nightshade-minho]

-Blue Book- (11) 

Warnings: anger, stress, y/n briefly wants to murder felix, a lot of negative emotions, headaches, light suggestiveness, britney spears cameo (nah just kidding- or am i) 

Wc: 4.1k (finally a blue book part that’s longer than 2k)

Stop. Stop thinking about her. Stop thinking about how she’s probably out with Minho right now, having fun and laughing over inside jokes.

Sometimes he wished he could just dig into his brain and remove all traces of you. He simply couldn't think of another way to truly get rid of you, eradicate every remnant that stayed in his brain, reminding him how he’d felt back then. 

Years had passed, and he still wasn't over it. There was a tiny part of him that thought maybe seeing you again would calm him down, and remind him that it wasn't a big deal. You'd changed, and he had too. It was time to get over petty high school grievances.

And yet, when he saw you with Minho again...he realized it simply wasn't possible. You were going to plague him for the rest of your life, and he knew it.

"I know pancakes are a weird choice for dinner but- Are you listening to me? Earth to Chan-"

Chan snapped back to reality, blinking as he stared at Felix, who pushed a plate of pancakes towards him, a concerned look on his face.

"I was asking you where you're staying at right now."

"Oh." Chan nodded thankfully, taking the fork and digging in. He was terribly hungry, and he'd missed Felix's cooking. His pancakes were always so soft and fluffy...a lot like him, to be honest.

To be honest, he didn't quite know yet. He hadn't left his parents on good terms, and now he found himself penniless unless he made up with them. Not one to beg, he'd decided to look around for a job. So far, he wasn’t all that successful. There was a heavy weight on his heart preventing him from truly committing to his work. He found it impossible to focus.

Felix sighed, taking a seat opposite him. " Chan...do you not have a place to stay?"

He shook his head finally, his gaze on the plate as he ate. He'd already told Felix the situation with his parents, somewhat. If his perception of Felix was right, he would be overcome with sympathy.

He was right. Felix wrung his fingers, his thoughts racing. He hated seeing the distraught expression on Chan's face. The words were on the tip of his tongue- the only thing stopping him was the thought of how you'd react.

You'd be pissed, beyond doubt.

Felix swallowed. Then again, this was his apartment. You didn't really have the right to oppose him if he wanted to let someone else stay for a bit. Besides, maybe he'd be able to talk some sense into you?

How bad could it be?

"Chan..." He began, inhaling.

"Do you want to stay here? At least until you find a place."

Chan sighed. There it was. He wasn’t surprised to find out he’d predicted correctly. Felix had been his best friend, after all. He knew him like the back of his hand. "Are you sure you...and your roommate...would be fine with it?"

"I'm positive." He lied, scratching the back of his neck as Chan groaned. 

He didn't really have another choice. Psyching himself up to agree, Chan sucked in a breath and pushed away his intruding emotions.

"Sure."

***

You knocked on the door, inhaling deeply as you ran through all the different ways you were going to murder Felix in your head. You couldn’t believe it. He really had the audacity to not only invite him over, but also neglect to inform you the same.

Tapping your foot, you rubbed your forehead as the door remained closed. Sighing, you dug into your bag for your keys, procuring them after a few seconds of searching through the crumpled chewing gum packets and loose coins. You really had to clear out your bag sometime.

You entered your apartment, yawning as you shed your coat, heading to the kitchen for a drink. Your throat was dry, your head pounding with stress. Ugh, what a bad day it had been. Marginally better due to the time you’d spent with Minho- but still bad. Chan’s sudden appearance really had put a damper on everything you’d done since then.

As you reached the kitchen, you stopped in your tracks.

Fuck. You turned around immediately when you saw who was sat at the table, an empty plate in front of him as he scrolled through his phone. He hadn’t seen you standing in the doorway. Yet.

Carefully, you started padding away as quietly as possible. Unfortunately, the gods really weren’t in the mood to smile upon you today.

“Y/n?” 

His voice was tired, bare of any emotion whatsoever. You twisted your neck to look at him, opening your mouth and closing it. He was staring at you, his eyes devoid of feeling, his lips pressed in a thin line. You had no clue what to say. Looking at his face again brought back memories you’d much rather forget.

“It’s...nice to see you again.” He mumbled, tearing his gaze away from you.

‘Nice’ was really not the word. 

“Yeah. How have you been?” You managed to ask, swallowing the lump in your throat. He drummed his fingers on the table top as his mind searched for an appropriate response. You watched him, your heart clenching as you remembered the way his hand felt in yours. 

“Fine.” He finally decided to say. “I’ve been fine, more or less.” After all, he was used to lying.

“And you? Having fun with Minho?” There was a slight bite to his voice as he uttered the words, making you raise an eyebrow. Suddenly, the anger you harbored towards him was reignited. What was he implying? It shocked you that he could talk like that, without a trace of apology in his tone. As if it was you who’d betrayed him, and not the other way around.

“For your information, yes. We’re having a lot of fun.” You snapped, turning and leaving the kitchen to go straight to your room. Just read a book, listen to some music and calm yourself down. He’ll be gone soon.

Chan watched you walk away, his hands balling into fists. So you had absolutely no remorse, whatsoever. 

He bit his lip, hating the weird amalgamation of emotions that were gripping him like a vice. He’d felt envy flood him as you said it, rubbing it in his face. Shaking his head, he turned back to his phone, biting his lip.

***

You knocked on Felix's door, biting your lip in anger as you waited for him to open it. Tapping your foot, you shook your head. Why was he still here, even? He should be gone by now.

"Looking for Felix?"

You started, turning around with a glare on your face.

Shit. He was way too close to you, his face inches away from yours. All you'd have to do is lean in just the tiniest bit, and your lips would be on his...

"He went out. Errands. Won't be back till tonight."

You groaned, taking a step back as you rolled your eyes. "Okay, whatever."

Chan watched you, an amused smile making its way onto his face. He'd flustered you a little, that much was evident. He wasn't quite sure yet if that was something to be proud of...but it was the little victories that counted, right? A part of him was glad that he still managed to have some sort of effect on you, even after all these years.

"You know if it's important, you can always tell me. Is there anything I can get you?"

You scoffed, shaking your head as you backed up further, your hand on the doorknob. "This is my home." you reminded him, his incredulous sentence rubbing you the wrong way.

Chan almost felt bad for you.

Shrugging, he turned to walk away. "Not anymore."

"Huh?" His words took a while to sink into your brain, and you raised your eyebrow in confusion. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Y/n...is that any way to talk to your new roommate?"

No. No way. Felix wouldn't...

"What?!"

"Not forever." He shrugged, his hand running through his hair. "Just until I find a permanent place to stay. Until then though, I'll be here."

This couldn't be happening. The anger was increasing slowly, rage directed to your roommate as well as the man in front of you. 

Chan looked back at you, sighing as he noted the upset expression growing on your face. Did you really hate him that much?

"Look. I'll stay out of your hair." He muttered, his tone clipped. "I don't think it will be that difficult for us to co-exist if we manage to be civil to each other."

You pressed your lips together in a thin line. "Sure. I don't care." You had already planned on remaining in your room for the entirety of his stay, however impractical that would be. You weren’t ready to dig up all that trauma from your teenhood just yet.

Chan gritted his teeth, his eyes searching yours as he thought of what else to say. The atmosphere was tense- too many things left unsaid, half spoken promises lingering in the air between you. It was frustrating, yet Chan held himself back. He was an adult now. There was no space for immaturity or trivial grudges in his life currently- no, he had to stay strong. With his credentials, it would be fairly easy to land a job. He just had to speed the process up, and soon enough he’d be out of this apartment. 

So he took a deep breath and gave you a smile, turning around to go back to the kitchen. He prided himself in his decision, a small first step to eliminating his inability to let go.

You watched as he left, chewing on your lip. Your heart hammered against your ribcage as you turned to go back into your room, grabbing your phone and dialing Felix’s number aggressively.

“Where the fuck are you?”

“Um, I left to grab some groceries-”

“Did you really offer to let him stay at our place?” You asked, your tone calm as you gripped the bed sheets.

“W-well...yeah..” You heard him gulp on the line. “It’s just for a few days, Y/n, till he gets a job-”

“And do you know how long that’s going to take?” You hissed, rubbing your temple as you heard his footsteps in the kitchen.

“I...look, Y/n. You have every right to be angry. I’m sorry, I should have checked with you first before making a decision.”

“No shit.”

A sigh. “Look, I won’t be home till evening. Please um...keep it mature. Again, I’m sorry.”

You shook your head, cutting the call and throwing your phone onto the mattress. It was going to be fine, as long as you stayed away. The apartment was small, so you couldn’t avoid running into him, though...whatever. It’d be fine, you’d be able to hold yourself out for a few days, if Felix was to be believed. You rubbed your forehead, groaning.

You were in dire need of a nap. 

Sighing, you fell back onto the cushy pillows, curling up on the mattress. Your head was throbbing with the beginnings of a headache. You needed a glass of water, but you weren’t going to leave your room today, at least until Felix comes back.

You hated the way your heart was still pounding, your emotions a jumbled mess. It was natural, right? To be this affected? He was your first love, after all. And he’d betrayed you. 

At first, you didn’t want to believe it. There was a part of you that hoped a tiny part of Chan had actually loved you, a part that hoped Minho was lying. But then you’d asked Felix about the ‘bet’, and the guilty look on his face told you everything you needed to know. 

Of course it had been suspicious, the popular guy coming up to talk to you- a lonely new kid who barely anyone talked to, especially when half his friend group were cold to you. But the more time you spent with him, the more you had begun to feel like he truly did love you. Was it even possible to fake emotions as well as he had? Chan was a good actor.

After you left, Chan never acknowledged the message you’d sent him. Not at all. You’d poured your heart out, for nothing. It had been the final nail in the coffin, the final incident convincing you that he’d never truly loved you back.

You sighed and sat up to switch the lights off, flooding the room in darkness as you buried your face in the pillow. There was complete silence in the room for a few minutes, and you let out a peaceful hum, snuggling further into the blanket. Sleep was beginning to overtake you slowly, your eyes closing as you slipped further into dreamland. You slept for about an hour, untroubled.

That is, until there was a loud crash from beyond the door, forcing you to shoot up and rub your eyes, anger coursing through you. You threw the blankets off your figure, storming up to your door and flinging it open. Ugh, fuck this. Fuck staying in your room and not causing trouble. You needed an outlet for this pent up anger, or you were going to fucking lose it.

“What the fuck was that?” You called out loudly, only to be returned with complete silence. Standing in the middle of the empty living room, you furrowed your brows in confusion.

The bathroom door opened just as you were ready to turn around and head back into your room. Swiveling around, you glared at Chan as he stepped out, a rather innocent look on his face. Innocent...nothing like the fact that he was fresh out of the shower, naked except for a towel wrapped around his waist.

For a minute, you were rendered dumb. Your eyes watched as his dripping wet hair trailed droplets of water down his torso, down the ridges of his abs and disappearing into the towel. You didn’t even know he looked like that underneath those clothes...

“Hey. Sorry for the noise.” Chan mumbled, pushing his hair back as he closed the door behind him. “The shower caddy fell down randomly. Don’t worry, I fixed it.” 

His blank expression slowly transformed into something more devious as he shut the door. He smirked as he observed your expression, his ego boosting as he realized he was the reason you were speechless.

“I- well-” You grunted and shook your head. “You fucked up my nap. Thanks a fucking lot.” You grumbled, crossing your arms as you kept your gaze fixed on his face. “Now if there’s nothing else, I’ll be leaving.” You coughed, voice slightly shaky as you desperately tried to conceal your burning cheeks, 

“And...put some clothes on.” You grumbled before heading back. Before you could, though, you felt a hand wrapping around your wrist, pulling you back towards him.

Stopping yourself before you could stumble too close to him, you looked up at him angrily, yanking your wrist away. “What?” You hissed.

“You don’t look too well.” He said, lifting his hand to your forehead. Before he could press his hand to your skin though, you backed away out of his reach.

“I’m perfectly fine. It’s just a tiny headache.” You lied, your head throbbing with a migraine even as you said it.

“Hm.” Chan’s face softened a little as he sighed. “A headache? Do you need water? I have some pills that could help numb the pain.”

You shook your head vehemently. “I don’t want anything you offer me.” You tried to ignore the flash of hurt in his eyes as you said the words. No, Chan wasn’t the victim here, you were. What right did he have to display vulnerability?

“Fine.” Chan opened his mouth, looking like he had more to say. For a second, he contemplated blurting everything out then and there. He wanted you to know the pain he’d been living with through his years...he wanted you to know that despite your betrayal, you were all that was a constant in his mind. And yet, as he continued watching your icy glare, he knew you weren’t in a position to be amicable. 

“Get some rest.” He muttered, anger seeping in again at your coldness, mixing with the concern that was still etched into his heart.

“That’s what I was fucking doing before you woke me up so rudely.”

Ugh. God, he really did have enough of your behavior. 

“Stop being a brat, Y/n. Just because you’re sick doesn’t mean you get to be snippy with me. You have no right to be angry.”

The fuck? Oh, this entitled prick- 

“I have every right to be! This is my house you just barged into, I make the rules here. So shut up and leave me alone.” You spat out, clenching your fists.

Chan felt an unknown urge creep through his being as you continued your remarks, scrunching his eyes shut and trying to calm himself down for a second. Okay, so this definitely wasn’t the sunshiney Y/n he’d once known. 

“Felix asked me to stay, I didn’t barge in.. God, you really are a bitch. I’m a guest here, and yet you’re treating me like-”

That was the last straw. You inhaled deeply, feeling your headache grow worse as your anger amplified. You’d had enough. Biting your lip, you shoved past him and headed for the front door. You couldn’t be in the same space as this dickhead for a second longer.

“Where are you going?” His voice was confused, as he turned to look at you storming out in your pajamas.

“Fuck you. Away from here.” You explained, flashing him one last glare over your shoulder as you slammed the door behind you.

Chan stood in the middle of the room, letting out a deep sigh at your sudden departure. 

What was he going to tell Felix? He’d promised himself that he’d keep it civil. 

He seemed to be breaking a lot of promises lately...

***

You stood outside of the door, leaning against it and trying to calm down your breathing, chest heaving. Just the sight of him brought back memories you wished you could bury. How could you be expected to live in the same place as him without wanting to tear out your eyeballs?

Just when you’d thought you were finally moving on, he barreled his way back into your life. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to be mature. 

You just wanted him to know you were no longer the meek little optimistic girl you once had been. Adult life has a cruel way of opening your eyes. 

Rose colored lenses eventually lead to dismay and disappointment. 

***

You didn’t realize you were going to Minho’s apartment until you reached his door, hand poised over the door to knock. Breathing in, you firmly rapped on the wood. A few minutes of silence passed, and you tilted your head in confusion. Minho usually answered the door right away, without too much delay.

You waited a bit before deciding to ring the doorbell, heaving a sigh of relief when the door finally opened, revealing a smiling Minho.

“Hey, thought it was you. I was in the shower.” Clearly. His hair was slightly wet and he’d clearly pulled on the first shirt he could find- unless he actually liked wearing 2009 Britney Spears t-shirts around the house.

Why was the universe chucking so many soaking wet boys at you today? At least Minho was clothed.

You chuckled as you pointed out the motif on the shirt. “’Oops I Did It Again’? Really?”

He shook his head, crossing his arms. “Hey, that music video is a masterpiece. Did you know it was released on my birthday?”

You giggled. “Of course it was.”

He smiled, before standing up straighter. “Wait, why are you here?”

You pursed your lips playfully. “Do I need a reason to visit one of my best friends?”

“Of course you don’t. We just spent time together in the afternoon, though. Is there a reason you’re back so early?” He questioned, placing a finger on his chin and pretending like he was deep in thought. “Oh, got it. You can’t get enough of me.” He said smugly.

You rolled your eyes, walking in as he stood aside to let you in. Minho’s apartment was smaller than the one you shared with Felix, but a lot more nicely decorated. You flopped down onto the sofa, sighing. “That’s not it.” You shook your head. “It’s Chan.”

“Oh. Him.” Minho cleared his throat, crossing his arms as he came to sit down next to you. “What about him?” He asked carefully.

“He’s staying with us.”

“What?” Minho wasn’t sure he’d heard right for a moment, his eyebrows raising slightly.

“Yeah, Felix let him stay. Until he gets a job, apparently.” You groaned, slipping off your shoes and curling your knees up to your chest. “I can’t stand being around him. Not after what he did to me. You understand, right?”

Minho stayed silent for a few minutes, swallowing the lump in his throat as he leaned back. “Right…”

You watched Minho, frowning at his expression. “Anyway, as I said, I couldn’t stay there. Um, can I crash here for a few days? He said he’ll get a job soon and move out, so it’ll be quick.”

Minho’s eyes widened. “Oh? Yeah! You can! You can stay.” He blurted, trying not to seem too eager. His ears turned a light shade of red as he watched you nod in relief, snuggling further into the cushions. “I’ll take the couch.” You mumbled, eyes fluttering as you rubbed your forehead for the millionth time.

“No, you take my bed. I’m alright on the couch.”

You opened an eye, shaking your head. “Minho, this is your home. Unlike Chan, I’m a good house guest.”

“Yeah but... I don’t want you out here on the couch alone. This isn’t exactly a nice neighborhood.”

You sat up, sighing. “I’d feel bad stealing your bed while you sleep on this lumpy couch.”

“Aha! So you admit it’s uncomfortable! That’s it, you’re sleeping in my bed. Besides, it’s big enough for the two of us!” 

Minho wished he could take it back almost as soon as he said it. “Um, I mean…”

 You raised your eyebrows, shrugging. “Uh, no, it’s okay. I don’t mind.” You sat up, a little shakily as your head swam. “God, my head hurts.”

Minho shot up to his feet, sighing. “Come on, I’ll take you to bed.” He grabbed your hand gently, taking you to his bedroom and making you sit down on the edge. You hummed in content, eyes still closed as you burrowed under the covers, snuggling into Minho’s pillows that faintly smelled of his cologne. It was comforting, and soon you found sleep overtaking you.

Minho sighed as he watched you fall asleep, sitting on the edge of his bed. He was nowhere near sleepy and had originally been planning on making some dinner before you came, but now he didn’t want to leave you alone.

Groaning, he lay down on his mattress, pulling the sheets over his body and making sure to leave a respectful amount of distance between you.

He watched you for a while, your eyelashes fluttering slightly as you slept, chest rising and falling with your breaths.

He didn’t know what he was feeling, exactly. There were strong emotions gripping his heart, most of them towards you, and yet he couldn’t act on any of them. Hell, he couldn’t even comprehend half of them.

Minho turned to face the ceiling, eyes following the tiny crack in the plaster. He couldn’t deny it any longer. 

Guilt. The heavy weight sat on his heart was guilt. Thick, all consuming guilt, that threatened to swallow him whole unless he came clean.

He knew he didn’t deserve you...not just because of how he’d acted, but also because of what he was keeping from you. He didn’t deserve for you to accept his apologies, not after the way he’d treated you. Not after he’d kept the complete truth about Chan from you.

Was he being an asshole? Chan was once his friend. A close friend, one he spent every day with. And yet he’d screwed him over.

For a minute, he wondered what would happen if he told you that he’d been the one to make the bet. He’d made Chan continue with it despite his reluctance. He’d noticed Chan actually falling in love with you, and yet had brushed it over. 

Would you still be beside him now if you knew?

He doesn’t want to find out. No. 

There was moonlight streaming through his window, illuminating the entire room too brightly. The light, combined with the remorse, ensured a sleepless night.

He glanced at you again. At least he’d have you by his side. For now...

[half-bakedboy]

Pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz Rated: General Summary: “I’ve recently found myself with a lot of time on my hands and since you don’t seem to have enough to romance someone,” Buck began, settling his drink on the table, “I think it only makes sense for someone to romance you.”

Eddie huffed out a laugh and shot back, “Yeah, and how are you going to find someone willing to put in that effort?”

“Oh, you’re lookin’ at him.”

Or... Eddie gets the romance he deserves in the form of fluff-filled dates with Buck.

For @911fluffweek​​ - day one: Birthday or anniversary // First hug

(read chapter one on ao3)

There was no reason for Eddie to be so nervous as he stood in front of his coworker’s doorstep. He was attending a child’s birthday party with his son and the team he was growing to trust, so the white-knuckled grip he had on the present Carla had carefully wrapped for him was frankly unnecessary, to say the least. He had spent years as an army medic, getting shot at and ambushed at every turn, and for some reason, the prospect of gathering with his new team’s families was the thing that had his heart racing. 

“You have to knock on the door, dad,” Christopher whispered, nudging his shoulder into Eddie’s hip as a teasing grin spread across his lips. Eddie ruffled his hair and rolled his eyes fondly before raising his hand with every intent to knock. Christopher was apparently done with his dad’s hesitation because a knock echoed in the entry and Eddie almost dropped the gift in his hands. 

“What would I do without you, kid?” Eddie asked, resting his hand on Christopher’s shoulder if only to make sure he stayed standing. 

“We probably would have stood out here  forever,”  Christopher groaned. Before Eddie could chastise him for his sassy nature, the door flew open and Eddie’s nerves increased tenfold at the sight in front of him.

Staring at him were baby blue eyes that Eddie thought he could get lost in attached to the most stunning man Eddie had  ever  seen—and he had seen a lot of men. Eddie had to look away to contain his anxiety, but everywhere he glanced was just another reminder kick right to the gut. The man had a smile that blinded like the sun, muscled shoulders and arms that bulged his patterned shirt, and a chest that pulled at the buttons spread down it. Suddenly, Eddie’s black t-shirt and jeans seemed too casual and he felt more inferior than he had ever felt in his life. 

“I’m Christopher!” His son shouted, pushing forward when it was clear Eddie wasn’t going anywhere. 

“Right, shit, I— Eddie. I’m Eddie. I work with Chimney?” He offered when the man’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion. Christopher had already made his way into the living room where the party had seemingly already started and the loud cheers of his name had the man letting up and opening the door wider for the stranger. 

“Buck,” he said, offering his hand when Eddie took a hesitant step inside, “Maddie’s brother. I didn’t realize anyone else was coming.” The words sounded like an apology, but Eddie didn’t need one. If anything, he was considering shouting out his own because he couldn’t stop his eyes from clearly checking the guy out with each passing moment. 

“I wasn’t supposed to come,” Eddie explained and Buck raised his eyebrows. Eddie realized how that might have sounded and held up his hands in defense, almost dropping the present if it wasn’t for Buck’s quick reactions. He grabbed it and settled it on the table with the rest of the wrapped gifts before crossing his arms over his chest and staring at Eddie expectantly. 

“You know, Captain Nash’s wife is a cop,” Buck offered and Eddie rolled his eyes with a laugh. 

“I was supposed to be covering Hen’s shift so she could come, but someone else took care of it so that I could be here,” Eddie finished as Buck led him to the living room. 

“And thank god for that! Diaz, your kid is a million times cooler than you!” Chimney yelled, high-fiving Christopher who was giggling ecstatically from where he was smushed between Maddie and Bobby. 

“He knows,” Christopher responded. Eddie let out a loud laugh and shook his head, holding up his hands in a shrug because he couldn’t argue with that. His kid was perfect and there was no way Eddie could match it. 

Eddie made his way around the room, greeting his team with large smiles, gentle hugs, and friendly kisses on the cheek. He had missed the warm feeling that settled high in his chest, his body light and airy and his mind clear of all of the nerves that had reverberated through it the entirety of the morning. Everyone in that room was family and they had welcomed Eddie and Christopher with open arms. 

Karen had offered to make him a plate of food while Bobby gestured toward the mini-fridge where he kept seltzer water and sodas. Maddie immediately pressed the baby into his arms so he could cuddle her and settle down like the rest of them had. Chimney and Hen teased him for being so damn awkward all while Christopher watched on with the widest smile on his face. It was too much for Eddie, so after a bit of time, he stood back and watched from a table on the outskirts of the party as they continued with their joy. Eddie had always been content with that. 

He didn’t realize he had company until Buck’s voice chimed next to him, “You don’t look old enough to have a kid his age.” He held out a drink to Eddie who eyed it suspiciously until Buck explained, “Iced tea. Maddie has made the best ever since we were kids.” Eddie took it and downed a few sips, practically moaning at how delicious it was, only to be interrupted by Buck’s soft chuckle. “So, you have a kid.”

“I do,” Eddie agreed, smiling widely at his son who held Jee-Yun in his arms delicately with Maddie’s hands hovering over the two of them as any mom would do. 

“Wife?” Buck asked and Eddie tried not to choke on his drink. He tilted his head toward Buck who just shrugged and waited expectantly for an answer. 

“Divorced,” Eddie said simply. 

“Dating?” Buck popped a pretzel in his mouth, staring at the people in front of him like his interrogation was completely normal under the circumstances. 

“Kid,” Eddie shot back. It was the only explanation he really had. 

“Really? That’s weak,” Buck said easily. Eddie turned to him, mouth open and arms crossed over his chest. He had known the guy for maybe ten minutes and he was already insulting Eddie’s life choices? Who the hell did he think he was? 

“It’s not like people are pounding down my door when my kid’s asleep in the next room,” Eddie scoffed, sipping on his drink to make sure his jaw didn’t hit the floor at Buck’s audacity. 

“Hmm, people,” Buck said slowly. “Interesting choice of words.” Eddie hadn’t done it on purpose—at least consciously—but he couldn’t be mad that Buck had noticed. “That kid would charm the pants off of anyone. What else?” Buck poked at the gaping holes in the excuse and Eddie wasn’t so sure he liked how easily Buck could already read him. 

“I don’t really have  time  to romance someone,” Eddie said. He gestured to his team before glancing back at Buck. “Maddie and Chim have their kid, Bobby and Athena barely get time alone together cause of their long shifts, Hen and Karen are busy with fostering. It wouldn’t be fair to them or anyone that might be interested to always have me with one foot out the door,” Eddie explained before stopping himself and whirling on Buck. “Why am I telling you this? You have some kind of magic power for pulling information or something?” 

Buck laughed just as Maddie walked up to them, Jee-Yun cradled in her arms. “I see you’ve not only met Eddie but have already pissed him off,” she noted and Eddie blushed, shaking his head to make sure she knew he wasn’t actually mad. 

“We’re fast friends, Mads,” Buck said, tossing an arm around Eddie’s shoulder and pulling him tight into his side. The blush on Eddie’s cheeks darkened considerably. 

“A few psychology classes and this guy thinks he can analyze everyone in our lives. And yes,” Maddie said before Eddie could correct her, “that means you, too, Diaz. I’m really glad you could come.” She pulled Eddie into a gentle hug and patted his cheek when she pulled away. “Don’t let this one scare you off. He’s as harmless as he is good looking.”

“You are way too good for my ego, sis,” Buck said fondly, kissing her cheek as she refilled her drink and walked back to the group. “But she’s right. I’m harmless.”

“And really good looking,” Eddie added and for the first time in their conversation, it was Buck who was struck speechless. Just as quickly as it happened, Buck’s grin spread across his lips and he leaned back against the table with a few nods of his head, looking quite impressed if Eddie had to guess. 

“Alright, Diaz, I’ll tell you what,” Buck offered as Maddie and Chimney started on the presents for their daughter. Eddie and Buck watched from afar, too lost in their own interactions to stop now and neither of them willing to leave the conversation they had started. 

“What?” Eddie asked. He turned to Buck when he noticed the man staring over at him and raised his eyebrows. Buck intrigued him and it had been a really long time since anyone had done that. 

“I’ve recently found myself with a lot of time on my hands and since you don’t seem to have enough to romance someone,” Buck began, settling his drink on the table, “I think it only makes sense for someone to romance  you.”

Eddie huffed out a laugh and shot back, “Yeah, and how are you going to find someone willing to put in that effort?” 

“Oh, you’re lookin’ at him.” Eddie choked on his drink again, sputtering uselessly as the rest of his team glanced over with a mixture of worry and expectancy in their eyes. He waved them back to what they were doing and wiped at his mouth with his sleeve, pointedly ignoring the way Buck had started to rub his back comfortingly. 

“And why would you do that?” Eddie asked because he had to. Buck was beautiful, one of the most gorgeous men Eddie had ever laid eyes on, and there was no way he was going to let someone that  perfect  in when Eddie was sure he would fall in love. 

“Because you deserve it,” Buck shrugged, leaning into Eddie’s eye line as he continued, “and because I’m going to get you to spend more time with me either way. Might as well make it interesting.” With that, Buck joined the rest of the team, taking the empty spot next to Christopher and tossing his arm around Eddie’s son’s shoulders. Christopher was instantly enamored and Eddie wondered who was more in trouble; him or his son. 

All in all, Eddie wasn’t sure why he had been so nervous at the beginning of the day. He filled the next few hours with easy conversation, learning more about his team and their loved ones than he ever would have during a shift, and got to watch his son charm every single person in the room. He and Denny got on like wildfire and there were already promises of playdates being made as everyone helped Maddie and Chimney clean up the place. 

He had expected someone to stop him from helping, but no one did, and his heart grew a few sizes larger because he knew what that meant. They were a family at the one-eighteen. That’s what Bobby had said during his interview. Eddie had responded in truth, telling him that he had left the family he had behind in Texas, and that he wasn’t looking for another, but that he would work his ass off every day to prove he was meant to be there anyway. Eddie should’ve known that Bobby would take that as a challenge. 

Without even trying, Eddie was in over his damn head. He was already accepted into their family with each disposable dish he grabbed from the table and each napkin he used to wipe down the ringed surfaces. There was no escaping the closeness of them even if he tried. 

Then he hugged Buck at the end of the night and realized that he didn’t want to try. If it meant that he was held so tightly he feared letting go and that his son would continue to wobble on his feet with sheer exhaustion from the fun he had throughout the day, Eddie would let whatever was happening happen. Which apparently included giving Buck his number with the promise of romance. 

Oh boy, Eddie thought happily, he was definitely in over his damn head. 

[changkyunswifey]

text me l im changkyun - part 1

wc: 814

request: Hi there, I'm in love with your words. You're truly amazing! Thank you for writing. So I have a request.. Could you please write a changkyun scenario that they find each other's phone number by coincidence and they just start texting randomly as strangers then everything become deeper and some feelings rose between them? Sorry, forgot to mention that write it with female reader please!

genre: college!au, strangers to almost lovers and fluff i guess?

pairing: changkyun x female!reader (as per requested but the mention of gender is minimal)

contains: we all know that y/n’s life is a walking cliché so that’s why she ends up texting changkyun instead of some biology tutor her teacher recommended -

a/n: hi love! the reason why this took me forever is because i started writing way way too much and i tried to make it shorter and stuff but then i thought i could make this a mini series so i hope you don’t mind that... i made it a college!au to make the plot easier for me, i hope you don’t mind that i took some extra liberties - thank you for your request, i hope you enjoy this first part !

Being a college student was not as hard as you thought it would be, truth to be told you could even consider yourself good at pretty much everything you were being taught there, except one thing : biology. Not that you were bad at it but you teacher was rather exigent to say the least. Always expecting excellence from all of his students, even from the ones who were not majoring this subject at all, just like you. Like any of those other students you preferred to focus on your major subjects and put some more work in them even if that meant you had to let the others a little behind. But for your teacher, it was not an option.

That’s why someday he asked you to stay after class so he could have a “little chat” with you. So as the class ended, you slowly put your stuffs back in your bag and waited for everyone to leave.

“So, Miss Y/L/N, you know why I’m having a word with you, right?” he asked firmly, looking at you with a stern gaze.

“Because I’m not topping your class ?” you replied sarcastically, you could afford to do this knowing you were far from falling his class unlike most of the other students.

“Because I know you can do better Miss Y/L/N, and if I were you I would drop the attitude because I have an offer for you.” he was sitting back on his chair, barely making any effort to look at you while talking, and he dared to speak about attitude -

“And may I know what is that ever so amazing offer ?” you questioned, if you were being honest you were growing a bit curious because this teacher was just the type to let the students who were behind drown instead of putting them on a life boat.

“I have a friend, another biology teacher, who would be willing to tutor you so you get pass this class with flying colors. What do you think ?

- But do I have to pay for it ?

- No worries about it, you’re just going to have to dedicate lots of time to it, like all the other students he will tutor.

- And how much time is it going to take me ?

- I would say, 14 hours a week ?

- You’re kidding, right ? Do you know it’s almost exam season ? We already have so many things to do I can’t afford to lose time on biology !” you were starting to get pissed, you were not failing this class but you had to give it half of your usual studying time ? There is no way you would even consider it.

"Then you will fail biology, it’s your choice, your loss, not mine.” he finally added as he started filling his briefcase with today’s lesson paper and uncorrected tests.

“Fine.” you gave in, not because he was forcing you to do so but because you were determined to prove him you could do better than he thought. He looked up at you and said “Alright. Let me write you down his number so you can text him and he will send you the details.” He gave you the paper with the number written down before you said your goodbyes and left the class.

You were now at your apartment, as you emptied your bag you pulled out the wrinkled piece of paper where the number of the other biology teacher was written only to be met with the struggle of understanding his handwriting.

“Was the hell is this suppose to be ??” you thought to yourself, trying to determine his the third digit was a one or a seven or if the last one was supposed to represent a five or a nine.

“Well, I guess I’m fucked.” was all you thought about before shooting your shot, typing the numbers you thought were the write one before typing a simple, yet polite and formal text.

“Hello Professor Kim.  I’m Miss Y/L/N, I’m a student of Professor Chae's biology class he gave me your number because he said you could help me get better in his class and that I should text you to get the details. Thank you in advance. Regards, Miss Y/L/N.”

You pressed the ‘send’ button not even hoping for an answer at this point only for you to hear your phone go off a few minutes later.

And well, as you read the text that lighted up your screen, you knew your were most definitely fucked.

“Well hello Miss Y/L/N but I don’t know who the fuck Professor Kim is, neither do I know a Professor Chae. But perhaps I could maybe help you with your biology, who knows.”

And little did you know, you were now in for a roller coaster.

[ayellowcurtain]

I can be your lover

Part 4

Robbe takes forever to wake up. Sander watched him sleep for almost an hour and he didn't look an inch more awake. It’s impossible not to notice the differences. Sander has looked at this boy, looking a lot more like a man now, so many times, for so long. He looks different. The long time without seeing each other in person has something to do with it but Robbe looks different. His hair is longer, he's skinnier and pale. He's still the most beautiful human Sander has ever laid his eyes on but him looking less of a boy makes Sander feel anxious, getting out of bed carefully to not wake him up, closing his bedroom door to leave Robbe alone in case someone is home already.

It's been too long since they started this. From friends to secret lovers and it feels like they're stuck. Any other occasion this would have turned into a relationship already, if they were mature people they could move in together, not worry about school or money or distance pulling them further and further apart slowly. Like bread crumbs slowly being taken away from a trail, leaving them lost in the middle of nowhere.

There's nothing that Sander wants more but Robbe can't come live here now and they clearly suck at long distance and being secretive. Moving away from home isn’t as easy for Robbe as it was for him. Robbe thinks his mom is his responsibility, no matter how well she's doing these days.

While he waits, Sander collects all the clothes they left as a trail leading up to his bedroom door. His phone is still inside his jacket and Sander knows he should text her, tell her that Robbe is home and he knows she'll understand. He wasn't lying when he said things were different but in the back of his mind he's still upset, certain that Robbe will leave and expect him to become a saint while they're apart for God knows how long.

He folds their clothes and leaves it next to his door and goes back to the kitchen, trying to type a text that explains well enough in a few lines how difficult his current situation with Robbe is. She and everyone else here knows Robbe is his priority, no matter how selfish he's being by living away and having high expectations about their messy relationship and how Sander should behave.

Robbe is here now and Sander won't worry about the future. Minute by minute all over again.

He reads his text a bunch of times, hoping he's being clear but not mean without meaning to.

"Sander…” It's not louder than a raspy whisper, but scares him anyway, pressing the send button accidentally, putting his phone down like it’ll change the fact that he was caught texting someone else.

Robbe is there, leaning against the wall in between the kitchen and the living room, looking very sleepy still, wearing one of Sander's shirts and his underwear from last night. His eyes stare at Sander's phone for a little too long on the counter and Sander knows he's been there for long enough to connect who he was struggling to text.

"Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. I was the one to come without a notice.” Robbe gives him a sad smile and Sander sighs, wishing the universe would work on their favor for once. Couldn’t Robbe wake up a minute later? He walks around the kitchen, his fingertips walking on every surface as a distraction for his eyes to not stare at Sander and he steps aside, pouring some coffee for both of them, offering a mug to Robbe.

"Thanks.”

Sander pulls Robbe closer by his waist, unable to wait another second with this awkward thing growing between them, “It's not like Britt, Robbe. You can read it if you want. She knows about you, I told her that you were home, finally and that's it. I couldn't just not say anything. She's a friend of a friend so they know her and they’ll mention her and they know about you and they're terrible at handling weird situations. So I just had to rip the band aid off and try to make this less awkward for you. But you're here now and you might not be here tomorrow, or the day after. And it pisses me off."

“I know I'm making this harder for you. And me too, trust me. I know it was stupid to come like that, after seeing you moving on with someone else. You don't owe me any explanation but I promise, I never mean to be this fucking confusing. You don't have to break up with her if you don't feel like it. Like you said, I'll leave soon. Not because I want but because there's school, and my mom and I can't just drop everything and be on your back here forever. It's messy now. So I get it.”

Hearing Robbe say it makes Sander anxious one more time for bringing the future up because he doesn't care about it that much if Robbe is here and they're together for now.

“Stop. What's done, is done. You're here and I want to be with you. So we'll go back to minute by minute while we’re together.”

Last night was a rollercoaster and Sander had very little time to enjoy every second of it like he wanted to. If he had the brain space to think that it could be the very few times they might have this time he would have forced himself to enjoy more. He was too caught up in the excitement of having Robbe back. His mouth waters thinking about kissing Robbe again but he doesn't have the time.

"Good morning, good morning, lovebirds!” Someone screams and claps and Robbe moves away from his hug in a quick jump and Sander sighs, looking up to find Elias entering the kitchen, smiling like Robbe is not a stranger in his kitchen. He stands close to them, offering his hand and Robbe shakes it instantly, still blushing, a little embarrassed to be caught about to be kissed by Sander.

“Elias. And you're the Robbe.” Elias asks, with his inquisitive eyes and a smile on his lips. He knows Robbe from the many pictures Sander has of him but Elias has to make it awkward.

Sander looks at him, and Robbe is looking back, opening and closing his mouth, laughing.

“Yeah. I'm Robbe.”

“The Robbe.” Sander corrects him.

Their breakfast goes surprisingly well, Elias puts his arm around Robbe’s shoulders like they’re friends, asking what he wants to eat. Sander is extremely thankful for his friends for being so welcoming, making Robbe feel really at home. Elias can clearly feel the awkwardness because whenever Robbe is busy - grabbing more coffee for them or going to the bathroom - Elias looks at Sander like he wants tips on how to help.

Everyone keeps Robbe busy with questions about him, about school, about how Sander was when he was home so they don't have much time alone to finish that conversation. But Sander acts like they're okay because he misses Robbe too much and wasting a second worrying feels like too much time wasted. He holds his hand every time he can, he keeps him close, kisses his cheek and his lips whenever Robbe looks at him for a little too long.

Sander doesn't care about anything else right now.

He doesn’t want to go anywhere, just wants to stay home with Robbe and hopefully have some honest conversation that they are in desperate need of but it’s not much of his choice to make. In the afternoon while they’re all sprawled around the living room, Robbe leaning carefully against his chest, not completely relaxed, Sander notices, the boys are all on his phones, finding parties for them to choose which one to go to.

Robbe looks up at him, excited with the idea and Sander rolls his eyes, being outnumbered. They’ll go to parties then.

There’s only one bathroom in the flat and so not even while one takes the shower the other can stay inside the bathroom so they can talk. The walls are thin and his friends are too curious for Sander to trust them.

So he lets Robbe go first and in the few hours of preparation, they don’t have a minute alone. Everyone is so curious about Robbe, wanting to get to know him for his own perspective, not from Sander’s perfect idea of him. They take some shots before leaving the house and Robbe holds his hand on their walk to the party.

It's one of the biggest, most chaotic parties Sander has ever gone to since he got here. And Robbe seems happy, a little overwhelmed but happy to be with Sander too. He keeps drinking and drinking and drinking and Sander lets himself enjoy a beer or two because it's a really fucking good night but he knows Robbe is about to get really drunk.

Sander watches it carefully and a little mesmerized, finding it hard to keep his hands down and not bring Robbe to himself. He knows Robbe knows how to party, he has some wild friends just like Sander does but he can’t help but worry. Now that he’s here, experiencing something differently than Robbe, it feels like the difference between how high schoolers party and how college kids do is a lot bigger. Robbe and his friends are probably used to some warm beer, cheap weed that’s probably old grass and Sander just wants to keep Robbe safe.

He knows his friends and he knows they would never leave Robbe go too far but still. Their endurance is so much higher than this smaller, skinnier boy that Sander loves so much it’s hard to be reasonable and not overprotective.

In the back of his head he also thinks about what Robbe will think of all of this. Of how different his life is here and it’ll make Robbe think less of him. Sander bites his tongue not to start explaining in the middle of a party how this is not his daily life to Robbe. How he’s still mostly the same Robbe used to see - and kiss and have sex - every other day.

He smiles when Robbe looks at him and nods his head, accepting the shot that they’re apparently all drinking.

Like a child, as Sander is busy only for a second opening his third beer, Robbe is gone. Sander looks around himself and can’t find him. Elias is nowhere to be found either so Sander slaps whichever friend is standing to his left.

“Where is Robbe?”

“Was looking for a bathroom, Elias went to help him find one.” Sander exhales and breaths slowly a few more times, nodding his head, “Relax, bro, your boy is safe. It’s like we’re his personal bodyguard team.”

Sander drinks all his beer while his eyes scan the room looking for familiar faces. Robbe is there, he’s safe but Sander finds himself more attached than ever to him so a quick trip to the bathroom feels like a long time to be apart, for bad things to happen, for rumors to get to Robbe’s ears. Sander has been living here for some time and it feels like anyone could tell Robbe anything that would hurt them even more. He didn’t date anyone but yeah, he had his fun. Because it was allowed, they talked about this before. How they would have to live their lives the best they could because there was no expiration date from this secret-long-distance-mess they had going on.

He gives his empty can to someone as a joke and waits impatiently.

Like a dream, Robbe appears, bursting the fog of all types of smoke that’s surrounding them. His beanie is still on his head, slightly tilted to one side and when Robbe crosses their circle and sort of melts against Sander’s chest. He can see how Robbe’s pupils are blown, almost completely black and how deliciously warm his body is. When he wraps his arm around Robbe’s waist inside his jacket, he can feel how the black shirt is sticking to the skin on the small of his back and just the thought of Robbe’s soft skin being that deliciously warm makes him overheat himself.

Robbe puts his hands on his face, half of his hands covered by his long jacket and they kiss, not caring for a second about the others still there, staring and making jokes, clapping their hands. Robbe’s tongue is so warm and inviting, kissing Sander dirty, making him dizzy and he smiles, feeling his mouth water more than normal because of Robbe’s taste, quietly sucking Sander’s bottom lip, his actions hidden by his hands still on Sander’s cheeks.

He scrambles but finds the end of Robbe’s shirt, putting his hand inside so he can scratch the skin of his back, making Robbe arch against Sander.

“I think you had enough fun for your first night here.” Sander says when they stop kissing to breath, smiling against Robbe’s pouty lips.

Robbe shakes his head from one side to the other and Sander feels him losing his balance a little because of it so he squeezes Robbe’s back tighter against him to keep Robbe in place. He nods his head and Robbe shakes his in response.

“My night hasn’t even started yet.” He whispers against Sander’s mouth and he stares at Robbe’s shiny lips, “Let’s go home.”

Before Sander can find anything to say, Robbe puts his hands over Sander’s n his back, holding it and turning around to talk to the others. Sander can’t see but he hears the smile in Robbe’s voice.

“Can you guys find somewhere else to sleep tonight?”

Sander has to laugh, shaking his head, resting his forehead against the back of Robbe’s neck. He can hear his friends’ answers, more than happy to give them some privacy for as long as they might need, someone says and before he can pull himself out of Robbe’s spell, Sander is standing on his own legs somehow, walking around the circle, shaking his boys’ hands one by one, hearing all types of jokes and words of encouragement.

Robbe finds the way out of the house for them and somehow, they end up in the street safely. Sander looks around but there’s no cab in sight so he pulls Robbe closer for another quick kiss before their ride. Robbe moans against his lips and Sander really needs them to be home already.

“You know I’ll take my time with you tonight, right?” He whispers before licking Robbe’s ear, smiling when he feels Robbe nodding his head eagerly, almost as a reflex.

It’s an excruciatingly long walk home but they make the most out of it, pulling each other for another heated kiss whenever they find themselves all alone on the sidewalk. It doesn’t take a second from slamming the door shut to them pressed against each other against the hallway wall, safely inside, taking their clothes off, almost ripping some fabrics when the zipper of Robbe’s jeans gets stuck or when Sander can’t take his boots quick enough again. Sander drops his left boot on the floor and grabs Robbe by his thighs, carrying him to the bedroom while kissing his neck.

[hargrove-mayfields]

Add A Link and See It Grow

Today’s the last day of the Harringrove Week of Love! The final prompt I chose was Found Family! Read this here or on ao3 posted by ej_writer !

Word Count: 7,305

Rating: T

“Are you serious right now Nancy?”

It was 7:30 at night when Steve heard his doorbell ring and, upon answering it, was met with a swarm of middle schoolers rushing into his house. He had plans to go out to the quarry with Billy in like, a half hour, he could not afford to be the babysitter.

“I’m sorry, Steve. My mom was supposed to watch the kids but she had to go out so she asked me to babysit, but I already told Joyce and Jon I’d help them plan Will's birthday party and it’s only a few days away now and-“ Nancy talked about a thousand miles a minute as she tried to justify dumping the brats on him.

“Whatever, it’s, fine.” It wasn’t, but it wasn’t worth arguing over either. “Aren’t they old enough to watch themselves at this point?”

Nancy didn’t even respond to that, just gave him a stern look that said ‘you’re watching these kids no matter what, get over it.’ She crossed her arms and squinted at him and, even if it didn’t really matter if he agreed, his resolve broke. “Alright, fine.”

She smiled and thanked him before hurrying back to Jonathan’s still running car. Steve sighed and braced himself before turning around to go back inside. The brats were known for wreaking havoc in a matter of minutes, and he wasn't looking to let them destroy his parents’ house.

In the five minutes he was outside they’d already raided the fridge of all of his pop, added the leaf to his dining table (how did they even know where that thing was?), had game pieces and boards thrown all over the place, and made a stack of their bags in the corner of his living room.

“Wait a second, is this a sleepover?” Steve groaned at all of the overenthusiastic nods he received. “Where am I supposed to put all of you little shits?”

Dustin shrugged. “You have enough rooms in this place to house the whole neighborhood. I think you’ll be fine.”

“Well, since nobody felt the need to run this by me first, I’m already busy. Can you dipshits handle yourselves for like, two hours?”

The look on Mikes face perfectly mirrored the one his sister had given Steve at the door. “Dude, Nancy will kill you if she found out you left us here alone.”

“Not if I kill her first for dumping all of you on me.” The threat had still stuck, she absolutely would kill Steve. There was no way he could get away with leaving them unattended.

He figured he could just call Billy and cancel, but that was really the last thing he wanted to do. He tried to come up with some compromise, but with all the kids pulling up chairs to his dining table with intentions of staying all night, he didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter.

Dialing Billy’s number into the kitchen phone, he walks around the corner into the bathroom, shutting himself in as best he can around the phone's cord in an attempt at having some semblance of privacy from the six sets of prying ears in the next room, but he hears nothing from the other end.

He let it ring a few more times before he gave up, wrapping the cord back up and hanging the phone back in its slot. This wasn’t going to go over well.

Because it wasn’t like he could just be like ‘hey, I have to go do this, be back in a few’ when what he had been planning on doing was going on a date with Billy Hargrove. They were sneaking around behind the kids' backs, so that just wasn’t a luxury they had.

But Billy wouldn’t answer his phone, so he couldn’t explain the situation to him either, and now Steve was backed into a corner, and exponentially screwed.

At first, he was trying to just stay out of the kids’ hair, hover in the corner while they did their thing just to make sure they didn’t get it of hand, but he was feeling too jittery and nervous, so he pulled up one of the thousand extra dining chairs his mother kept around for dinner parties and joined in their stupid game.

For once, they were playing normal people games instead of that role playing thing he couldn't wrap his head around, so he could actually understand what was happening enough to participate.

Not that that meant he ever won, being outsmarted by these kids was his specialty. Round after round they ran circles around him, and he was getting frustrated enough he was considering making them sleep outside.

He was about to throw his cards down and quit for what was probably the tenth time already when he heard the telltale sound of Billy’s Camaro pulling into his driveway.

That was really bad. He’d stood Billy up, and he’d be pissed, he couldn’t let him just barge in here and make a scene in front of the kids. Because not only would that mean they knew Steve was not crushing on some imaginary girl or whatever he’d made up to thwart their suspicions, but that he was with Billy Hargrove of all people. They’d never let it go.

He shot a quick look at Max, who no doubt would’ve been able to recognize the sound of her own brother's car, hoping to somehow communicate to her to keep these other assholes occupied while he dealt with this. He was pretty sure Max already knew about them anyways.

Forfeiting again, he got up from the table and hurried towards the front doors.

Will called after him with a sympathetic, “It’s just a game, Steve!” which thankfully meant they either hadn’t heard or hadn’t recognized the sound of Billy’s car.

Holding up the pack of camels he always kept in his pocket, he turned around to face the kids, backing towards the door still. “Just need a smoke break.”

That seemed to appease them, and they went back to what they were doing. He practically ran the rest of the way to the door, as he opened and closed it before they could see the boy on the stoop.

Billy was standing there probably about to lay on the doorbell, something he always did just to drive Steve crazy, and seemed surprised at the way he came all the way outside and shut the door behind himself. “Listen, I’m on babysitting duty, so I kind of can’t do this right now.”

At the same time Billy’s face fell, Steve felt his heart drop into his stomach. This wasn’t about their rendezvous, turning up at Steve’s house usually meant he needed something, and judging from the way his hands were stuffed deep into his pockets and the way he was worrying his lip between his teeth, it was something important. “Whatever, Harrington. I’ll get out of your hair.“

“That’s not what I meant.” Steve reached out and put his hand on Billy’s arm to get his attention. “I’m sorry. I want you to stay, I just, I needed you to know they were here.” The additional so you didn’t out us and ruin our lives forever went unsaid, but Billy knew the implications of being caught by the kids.

“I need your first-aid kit“ It was hard for him, asking for help, but these days it was something he needed a lot of.

“Okay.”

Without another word he opened the door and led Billy inside, making him kick off his muddy biker boots before following him up the stairs to where he kept the band aid kit in his bathroom. One of the perks of having a big house was that the kids, from where they were in the dining room, couldn’t see the door, and only heard them go up the steps.

This had become routine for them, Billy showing up at his door in need of a little TLC, and Steve desperate to give it to him, but up to this point they’d been able to evade the kids. He didn’t think it would honestly be all that bad if they knew, Billy’s sister was among them and probably wouldn’t let her friends run too wild with the information, but Billy had made him swear on his life he’d never let them, or anyone else for that matter, find out about it.

Of course he understood that. There was a reason this kept happening, these nights when Billy would show up at his door in need of assistance, and that reason, who’s name happened to be Neil Hargrove, would undoubtedly kill the both of them were he ever to catch word that his son was dating Steve Harrington.

Steve had the displeasure of meeting Neil in person only once in late December, when he’d dropped Max off at her house after a Christmas party at the Byers. Being that he was such a responsible and caring father, or at least that’s what he was for the public eye, he just had to meet the boy who was watching his daughter.

Steve’d been beyond unsettled by the unnecessary firmness of his handshake, the distant look behind his so obviously practiced smile, the way Billy, with his arm in a cast for reasons he wouldn’t tell anyone, loomed in the corner as Neil did his interrogation.

When he was satisfied with the answers he’d been given, sure that Steve wasn’t carting the kids around because he was a creep or something, he’d let him go with a slap to the shoulder that was a little too hard to be friendly, and made Billy, maybe as a show of some sort of old fashioned respect, walk him back to his car.

“Did he do that to you?” Maybe it was because his experience with his own father had made it easier to recognize, but Steve was pretty sure he had a good idea of what was going on here.

Billy kept his eyes downcast and his shoulders squared, defensive in a way that was distinctly un-Billy. The broken arm must have been preventing his fighting instincts from taking over, or maybe it was the guilt from already beating the shit out of Steve once. “Maybe.”

That was enough of an answer for him. “Look, if you ever need anything, just like, I don’t know, come find me or something, man.”

Billy’s head snapped up to look at him. Steve could practically see the gears turning in his head as he tried to think of some response, but that had gotten to him. He kept his lips pressed in a flat line, and stared at Steve like he just grew a second head.

“I’m sorry for lying to you, just, my door is always open, or whatever.” It was extremely awkward, Steve offering help to the boy who’d literally just beat the shit out of him and concussed him like a month ago, but he could see through him.

The scar in his eyebrow didn’t come from their fight, nor did the cast on his arm. Seeing the way Neil acted, the saccharine smile he wore as he made subtle threats on him when he literally did nothing but drive his daughter around, he had enough to figure out that those injuries had been from what Billy had faced once he came home that night.

Billy hadn’t said anything, just scoffed and turned around to go back into his house, but a week later he showed up at Steve’s house, having gotten the address off of their sort of mutual friend Tommy, with a broken nose and bled all over his living room carpet, and the rest was history.

Steve walked him into the bathroom and sat him down on the toilet seat, popping open the first-aid kit where it sat on the tiled counter. “Where’re you hurt?”

A nervous habit of his, Billy was chewing on the side of his thumb nail. His gaze flickered between Steve’s face and the framed painting behind him on the wall. “S’my ribs.”

Steve got him to shrug out of the two different jackets he was wearing, his first winter in the Midwest had proved to be far too cold for a Cali-raised boy like Billy, and pull the Henley shirt he had on over his head. The damage hidden underneath was enough to make him sick to his stomach.

Reaching out, Steve gingerly touched the deep purple bruises littering the other boy's chest and ribs. He felt breathless, this was by far the worst he’d ever seen it. “Jesus, Bills.”

Billy wasn’t very good at accepting sympathy from others. It made him feel all squeamish to be fussed over, and Steve was the king of fussing over him. He muttered, “Think there’s a cut towards the back.”

Steve wrapped his fingers around Billy’s forearm and gently pushed his arm up over his head to inspect the damage, and sure enough, there was a gash about 6 inches long on his left side. “What the hell did he do to you?”

Billy sniffs, looks away and says, like it’s nothing, “Steel-toes break the skin easier.”

Every time they did this, Steve’s heart broke into a million little pieces. The nonchalance of it all was the worst part, the way it was so normal for Billy to have his father kick him until his ribs were bruised black and bleeding, it made him so sad to see his Billy that way.

He let Billy put his arm down and crossed his own arms over his chest, “You’re gonna need stitches.”

“You know how to sew.” Another shot right in his heart, Steve didn’t know how much of this he could handle.

“Barely. And this is completely different.” Steve stepped forward and put his hand on the side of Billy’s face, keeping him from looking away again to stare at that stupid painting on the wall. “Don’t wanna hurt you.”

“I can take it, Stevie. Either you do it or I will.” If Billy gave an ultimatum, he meant it.

He definitely didn’t know how to sew, it was a skill considered too feminine to be taught to a son despite its usefulness, so he never learned how, but if Steve didn’t agree he would’ve very much done it and hurt himself a thousand times more in the process just to prove a point

So Steve reluctantly did it, made Billy hold his arm over his head and turn to face the other wall so he could see it better. Not that he was an overly emotional person, or maybe he just wouldn’t admit he was, but the sight before him put tears in his eyes.

Billy caught that, and despite the swell of nervousness in his own chest as he saw Steve threading a needle from out of the kit, he offered comfort to his boyfriend.

“Only a few more months before I’m outta there, then we won’t have to worry about this shit any more.” Billy would turn 18 in June, just under three months from now, but when he showed up at Steve’s door bloodied and bruised every other day, that long stretch of time offered no comfort.

It wouldn’t be as easy as Billy seemed to think it was to leave. He wouldn’t have any money, the Camaro wasn’t in his name, so he wouldn’t have any way to get around, and he didn’t even know where he would stay yet. That was all hypothetical for if he’d even be able to leave too.

With an abusive father constantly looming over his shoulder and keeping tabs on him, he’d know he was going to leave and try to stop it at all costs. It was only a matter of time before he started trying to manipulate Billy into staying.

It clearly didn’t have the desired effect on Steve. Billy’d even offered his assurances with a smile, but his boyfriends face stayed grim as he wiped at the cut with an alcohol pad so he could start to try to stitch it shut.

They stayed silent after that, while Steve tried to steady his shaking hands for long enough to get the needle in and out of Billy’s skin without hurting him too bad. The only break in the silence was the occasional gasp from Billy when Steve made another hole in his skin, or the noise drifting up from when the kids started yelling downstairs.

After a few more times in and out he was able to tie it off, the sutures were sort of crude, but were doing their job, and he made Billy move his arm all around to make sure they wouldn’t tear right through his skin. Once he was appeased, he made him put a new shirt on, the other one stained with his blood would have to be washed.

Billy stood up and wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist. “I’m gonna be okay baby.”

Steve reached his arms around the back of Billy’s neck and pressed their foreheads together. “I know but-“

Cutting him off with a quick kiss, Billy interjected. “It doesn’t matter about him as long as I have you.” Another peck to his lips. “Love you.”

It hardly did anything to cheer Steve up or comfort him, but there wasn’t anything that could when every night, he sent his boyfriend back into the arms of a monster. He sighed and ran his fingers through the long hair at the back of Billy’s neck. “I love you too.”

Neither of them knew how much time had passed when Billy pulled away to grab his jacket off of the counter. Shrugging the layers back onto his shoulders, he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket again. “I should go. The nerd herd’s gonna wonder where we went.”

“I want you to stay.” Steve kissed him one more time. “Not gonna let you go back to him yet.”

Billy looked like he wanted to protest, but Steve must’ve been looking as sad as he felt, because Billy sighed and gave in. “Fine. But your kids aren’t going to be too happy about that.”

“They’ll be fine.” Billy always seemed to underestimate just how much the kids liked him.

It was true that they hadn’t been his biggest fans at first, but when they first started doing this, Steve made him swear he’d apologize to them, and he did.

They were smart kids, they understood how the situation had looked when he got pissed, all of them hiding from him in a strangers house, and they understood the implications too of him begging Max to leave with him and his arm being broken literally the next day when she hadn’t.

It wasn’t immediate forgiveness, they were pretty wary around him until they felt he’d done enough to prove that he meant it when he apologized, but they’d all more or less accepted it by now.

Because he hadn’t stopped after just saying sorry. The words themselves never meant much to him at all, what with the situation he grew up in, so he tried to show them he was sorry.

Which was how he had become the secondary chauffeur after Steve, taking more than just Max home after trips to the movies or the arcade, and consequently how he had started helping them sneak around.

More than a few times he’d helped them smuggle Eleven out of her dad's cabin, because he understood feeling trapped, before he had his own car Neil had been able to keep him under 24/7 surveillance. He always covered for Lucas too, driving him home first before anyone else, and when Neil wanted to know who Max had been with, he’d lie and say it was just Dustin or El. After what happened it felt like the least he could do, but Steve was right, by now, they were pretty much over it.

Either way, he didn’t exactly want to have to explain away why he and Steve had disappeared upstairs for the last hour, hour and half. They might forgive him for his stupid outburst, but he couldn’t be sure where they drew the line.

Steve smiled at him and wrapped his fingers around Billy’s wrist, pulling him out of the bathroom and back through the hallway to the stairs. “Just follow my lead.”

Any semblance of a plan was lost when they made it back to the kitchen, Billy leaning in the doorway while Steve announced his presence, and they saw Eleven washing blood off of her hands in the sink.

There were some things Billy knew he’d never understand about these kids, Steve had made him promise he wouldn’t ask questions even though that was what had got them into a fight in the first place, so, despite his confusion, he didn’t even try to ask.

Not even when Steve put his hands on his hips and reprimanded her. “Oh, you were not spying on me.”

She smiled coyly. “I was.”

Billy felt the blood drain out of his face, felt his heartbeat skyrocket as he and Steve exchanged a look of fear. Steve stuttered and started trying to explain. “Listen you guys-“

Dustin cut him off, always overly eager to complain. “She won’t tell us anything.”

Nodding, Mike agreed. “She says it’s an ‘invasion of your privacy’.” He used air quotes around the last part as if spying on people in their own homes wasn’t exactly that.

The fear on Steve's face shifted into anger as he pointed his finger in Mike's face. “That’s because it is. I told you little shits a thousand times: no spying.”

Lucas interjected, agreeing with his friends. “What’s it matter if she won’t tell us anyways?”

Max fixed him with a deadly look and scoffed. “It matters because she didn’t want to and you made her. Why should she tell you what she saw?” Typically, Max would be on Lucas’ side, but they must’ve been fighting again.

Billy, watching the scene unfold while leaning on the door frame, clicked his tongue against the back of his teeth and announced. “Seems like I walked into something.” He turned to walk away and called over his shoulder. “Catch ya ‘round, Harrington.”

Before he could get away, Steve grabbed him by the back of his jacket and tugged, stopping him dead in his tracks. “No way. You’re not leaving me to deal with this by myself.”

“Your children aren’t my responsibility.” He reminded him, but he had no actual intentions of actually leaving and they both knew that.

The kids hadn’t understood at first why Steve got along with Billy after he’d been the one to be beat up, so, to put it in a way that made sense to the brats, they pretended to argue so it seemed like they were only begrudgingly hanging out, and so far, they hadn’t seen through it.

Steve had a retort ready, but Dustin beat him to it. The kids were constantly rubbing it in Billy’s face that they’d turned him into a babysitter too. “Yeah, we kind of are.”

Lucas, obviously only trying to get some sort of points towards Max’s forgiveness, agreed. “Especially since one of us is your totally awesome sister.” Max just rolled her eyes at his attempt.

Realizing he was still holding onto Billy’s jacket, Steve pulled him back into the room and let go. “You’re staying.” He turned to Will and asked him like nothing had happened, “So what are we playing?”

Unsurprisingly, the kids had developed tiny attention spans. They'd gotten quite the taste for crazy adventures, so unlike normal teenagers, activities like watching movies and playing truth or dare all night wouldn’t really do it for them.

Since Steve had left, they’d apparently played through two different games and had been about to start a third before they decided to spy.

Mike tells them, “We’ve narrowed it down to Uno and Monopoly.”

“Mike, Will, and Max vote Monopoly. Me, Lucas, and El vote Uno.” Dustin further explained, “We need a tie breaker.”

“I’m not any good at Monopoly. Too much counting.” Steve nudged Billy with his shoulder. “What do you think?”

“Last time I played Monopoly I broke someone's nose, and I’m colorblind. Don’t think my vote counts.” Neither of those facts are particularly untrue, but the only reason Billy brings them up is because he’s still trying to deny that he’s their babysitter.

Staying for Steve, whatever, that was fine, but playing board games with the little shits, that would be giving in, admitting that he wasn’t above hanging out with middle schoolers on a Friday night.

But he doesn’t get out of it, because with the excitement of all of the kids combined, Will pipes up. “Don’t worry, I am too! My mom put shapes on all the cards so I can tell the difference.”

He hurries and fishes out the playing deck, bringing it straight to Billy to look through. “See! Reds are squares, greens are circles, yellows are stars, and blues are triangles!”

Steve smirks at Billy, at the defeated look on his face. “Looks like you’re not getting out of this one, Hargrove.”

Tumblr decided this was too long, go ahead and finish reading on ao3! Over there I’m ej_writer !

[ri-ahhh]

Okay, but with Grayson complaining about being lonely and wanting a girlfriend I CANT HELP but to think about how horny he probably is on top of that. Like- its been on my mind for days, so can you PLEASE write something about gray meeting a bitch, like through friend or something, and realizing he likes her and then having these dirty thoughts about her, and like he doesn't want to but he just cant help it... I will die and love you forever, you're writing is my absouloute favortie.

Ur so sweet babe haha thank you😊 hope this is along the lines of what you wanted.

Getting his dick wet has never been a problem for Grayson Dolan; not since receiving his first sloppy, inexperienced blowjob when he was on tour at the tender age of 16. There’s been a steady flow of girls in and out of his life ever since, fulfilling both his needs sexually and the fleeting desire for noncommittal intimacy. And that’s how he likes it for the longest time. Easy and no-strings-attached.

But he’s older now, and even though quarantine hadn’t stopped him from hitting up his favorite one or two booty calls every now and then, he feels empty in a way that’s becoming all-too familiar. It’s not a new feeling, but every time he leaves their homes (because that’s his number one rule — hookups stay out of his bed), there’s a longing that wasn’t satisfied and that’s becoming more and more apparent to him.

So he stops fucking around — literally. He believes in the power of the mind and manifestation almost to a fault, and considers that maybe he’s letting casual hookups interfere with what he really wants: companionship.

It seems like a breeze at first. Grayson swears he feels lighter, clearer in the head, more focused on what he wants out of his life. He puts his mind to being the best version of himself and hoping that it’s enough to attract the same kind of person that he can put all of his love and effort into in return.

As months roll on, however, he realizes that sometimes the universe just doesn’t listen right away. And for the first time in his life, Grayson discovers the monotony and reality of what it’s like for the ‘regular’ guys out there, whose only sexual pleasure comes from their own hand and the porn category of choice for the night. He was used to that as a filler, for sure, but not as his one and only outlet.

Plain and simple, he’s horny. All the time. Which makes him grumpy, and irritable, and frustrated with both himself and everything around him. So when Ethan tells him in passing that his girlfriend is flying in from New York with her friend to visit, it just makes him grunt. The fact that his brother is in such a happy and healthy relationship himself is a point of contention for Grayson in his head. He’s thrilled for Ethan, but he can’t help but dwell on the creeping jealousy in his chest. Here he is, starved for both intimacy and sex now, and Ethan will get served both of those the following night in excess while Grayson lies in his bed alone.

The next night, they’re all having dinner at the kitchen table — all four of them, including her. The friend. The friend that Ethan had mentioned would be coming but that Grayson had so brusquely ignored. The friend that had his eyebrows raised the second she walked shyly through his front door, drawn in immediately by her beauty.

The friend he can’t keep his eyes off of now as she goes to town on the roasted sweet potatoes and black bean burgers he had made himself. She’s quiet but witty and has a cute laugh that makes his heart flutter a little in a way he hasn’t experienced in a long time.

He feels a nudge against his ribs, and startles when he jerks to the side to see Ethan staring at him pointedly with a knowing little smile on his lips.

“You’ve got ketchup on your shirt, bro,” he says, nodding to the blob of red on Grayson’s white shirt that had dropped from the forkful of sweet potatoes, which had only made it halfway to his mouth as he listened to her talk.

“Shit,” he mumbles embarrassedly, flushing a color near the tomato-red that’s now stained his shirt. Of course, the first time he’s feeling real feelings around a beautiful girl, he has to revert to awkward, clumsy Grayson rather smooth, relaxed Grayson.

He starts to scrub up the mess with his napkin, but she reaches out from her seat across the table from him and grabs his wrist in her petite hand. “Oop, wait! Dab, don’t swipe, or you’ll make it worse. I know how to get that out as long as it’s not smeared around into the fabric.”

Grayson swallows, his arm flaring with goosebumps at her gentle but insistent touch, but tries to keep his cool. She’s grinning at him amusedly, then sits back in her seat when Grayson follows her instructions.

“I thought ketchup was one of those things that you’re just kinda fucked if you get it on your clothes, Ethan says, filling the silence left by his brother.

She shakes her head. “Nope. Peroxide will get it right out, especially if you wash it after. Do you have any?”

Ethan cocks a brow and looks at Grayson, hoping he’ll use the opportunity to speak to her. Thankfully, he does, even if it is lacking a little bit of gracefulness. “Huh, peroxide? Oh... uh, yeah, I — yeah, in my bathroom.”

“I’ll help you when we’re all done, if you want,” she offers before taking a modest bite of her burger.

Grayson nods, and can’t help but watch the way she sucks a bit of barbecue sauce off her thumb once she swallows. His heart picks up and he has to shift in his seat a little when she winks at him, his pants tightening under the table. Damn it. He’s been trying to avoid that reaction and those thoughts, determined to do this right.

He fixes a smile to his lips, and hopes his face isn’t giving him away. “Yeah, that’d be great.”

Everyone helps clean up the table and dishes, and Grayson leads her into his room while they leave the other two to have some alone time. He prays that he made his bed that morning and that there’s no dirty underwear on the floor or used tissues on the nightstand.

Luckily, the floor is relatively clear, and the bed is made, if haphazardly so. She follows him into the en-suite bathroom and watches him dig under the cabinet in the first aid bucket he has down there.

She’s wearing jean shorts and a loose-knit sweater, and when Grayson starts to stand back up he takes a moment to appreciate the tone in the muscles of her legs and the flashes of skin he can see through her top, hoping he isn’t being too obvious.

She takes the brown bottle from him and tugs on the hem of his shirt. “It’ll be easier if you take this off.”

Grayson nods, and can’t help the laugh that escapes him when she turns her back to him. “What are you doing?”

“Giving you your modesty! I don’t know you, for all I know you might be super insecure.”

“At the risk of sounding like a total douche, I promise I’m not,” he answers, reaching behind his neck to tug the collar up and over his head. “Here you go.”

She turns back around, and Grayson doesn’t miss the way her eyes travel over his sculpted torso. He can’t help but smirk a little, thrilled at the cute blush that tinges her cheeks when she meets his eyes and realizes she’s been caught.

He hasn’t had a woman look at him like that in months, however, and he’s grateful when she tells him, “This will need to go in the laundry tonight if you want to make sure the stain comes out, so you’ll need another shirt anyways.”

It gives him an out to duck into his closet, taking a moment to collect himself before grabbing the first T-shirt his hand touches and slipping it over his head.

“Cold water first,” she informs, smiling at him through the mirror when he re-emerges as she leans over the sink with the water running. She shuts off the water and squeeze out the excess, then takes the peroxide and pours some onto the stain.

“Woah,” Grayson says, eyebrows raised in surprise at the fizzing bubbles visibly picking up the bright red from the fibers of his shirt. “Where did you learn this trick?”

“I work in the toddler room at a daycare. We keep this stuff on sight and scene to avoid 20 outfit changes a day on a few two year-olds. I’m sure you can imagine the amount of ketchup and blood stains a toddler procures on the daily.”

Grayson chuckles. He feels himself growing more fond of her by the second. “You like kids?”

“I love them,” she replies with a grin. “Working in childcare is pretty rough, but it’s been a great college job. Lots of experience for my degree. And, you know, good practice for the future one day.”

If he hadn’t been sold by now, that does it. Beautiful, smart, and good with kids?

He takes a moment to assess himself and his thoughts. He doesn’t think he’s letting his dick lead him right now, even if he does want her that way. He’s just as attracted to her mind as he is the curves of her body and the features of her pretty face, and finds himself wanting to talk to her for hours on end.

He doesn’t realize there’s a heated silence, both of them standing there staring at each other, until she clears her throat and holds up his shirt. Grayson glances down at it to see just a faint brown rim around what use to be a bright red mark. “All done.”

“Thank you,” he says, taking it from her and tossing it in his laundry basket. “Come on, hopefully we don’t walk into something we can’t unsee.”

“You make a pretty good meat shield,” she says jokingly, following close behind him. “All big and broad. I can just hide behind you and keep my eyes unscarred.”

Grayson laughs loudly, his ego swelling, and he has to resist the urge to take her hand in his. That would be too much. Right?

Thankfully, the couple is just cuddling innocently on the loveseat when they enter the living room.

“Movie?” Ethan asks when the two of them settle on the couch, a respectful and calculated distance between them — not too close and not too far.

“Sure.”

They’re all in a fun and lighthearted mood tonight, so they settle on Moana. Grayson wants nothing more than to throw his arm around the beautiful girl next to him, who sings along playfully to the songs she knows, her enthusiastic movements shuffling her closer to him. He doesn’t know if it’s intentional, but he doesn’t really care; her presence in both body and spirit feels good to him.

Ethan’s girlfriend only makes it about halfway through the movie before she’s passed out, tired from the long flight earlier that day. He looks down at her fondly and chuckles when he sees her nuzzled sound asleep against his chest.

“I’m gonna take her to bed,” he announces quietly before standing with her in his arms. “Goodnight, guys.”

They both murmur back “goodnight” and watch Ethan disappear down the hall. The movie plays on for a couple of minutes, before she’s turning to him and making small talk. Which turns into broader conversation about bigger things. Which leads to them settling so close that their knees touch. She finds an excuse to pick an invisible fleck of something off his hand, which turns into their fingers playing with each other’s teasingly.

Which turns to Grayson checking his watch in a quiet but not unpleasant lull, and muttering, “Oh, shit,” in surprise.

She checks her phone lying on the couch cushion behind her. The time shines back at her 1:27 AM.

“Damn, when did it get so late?” she wonders aloud, looking at him amusedly.

Grayson shakes his head. “Time flies,” he says. Whether it’s the late hour, or him getting his mojo back, or just the fact that he’s so naturally comfortable with her, he suddenly feels bold enough to reach out and tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. “Are you tired?”

She blushes and bites her lip, allowing him to keep his warm palm pressed to her neck while his thumb strokes the ridge of her jaw gently.

“Not really,” she answers, scooting that much closer to him. “Not ready to go to my bed, anyways.”

She’s referring to the guest room she’s already settled her things into. Grayson smiles. Rules be damned, he thinks, until he realizes in the next moment that there’s no way this amazing girl is going to be just a hookup. There’s no rule to be broken.

“Why don’t you come to mine, then?”

[wkemeup]

To Be Happy

inbox request: “is there ever a time where y/n sort of gets overwhelmed with how much her life has changed ?? but in a good way ??” by anonymous ❤️ pairing: bucky x reader chapter word count: 1.5k warnings: none ❤️ 🌹series masterlist 🌹

“Wait, wait! You promised to tell us more about Hydra if we all did the reading this week!” one of the criminal justice majors enrolled in your 20th Century Literature course raised his arm desperately, moments before the end of class.

“I suppose I did,” you nodded, laughing as several other students, even the ones appropriately in the correct course for their major, nodded along eagerly. You took off your glasses and set them on the table. The whole classroom sank back into their seats as if watching a movie.

You didn’t give them much, just enough to keep them interested for more and willing to do the assigned readings. If it encouraged participation, you didn’t mind sharing what you’d learned about Hydra over the years. The kids were fascinated and it earned you a reputation around campus enough to have your classes filled within seconds of registration.

Today, you told them about the secret back room in the Lernaean. It had been a long time since you’d even thought about the club Brock had used to launder money for Hydra, but the kids seemed enthralled at the idea of a hidden door behind the bar.

As you dismissed the class for the day, gathering your things and ready to head home after three lectures and five hours of open office hours, you found a student waiting for you by the door. She held her books tight to her chest, nervously smiling at you as you caught her attention.

“Hi.”

“Hi, Daisy,” you chuckled, throwing your bag over your shoulder. “What can I do for you?”

“Oh.” She seemed surprised by your question, as if she were expecting she wouldn’t get that far. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I was wondering if I could schedule office hours with you? I was hoping you could help me with a paper I’m writing on—"

“It’s a little early to work on the final, Daisy,” you suggested with a smile, gesturing for her to follow you as you made your way out of the lecture hall, “but I appreciate your enthusiasm.”

“Actually, it’s for my women’s studies class,” Daisy blurted out, causing you to pause. You narrowed your eyes on her, waiting for her to continue. She clearly her throat. “Professor Hill asked us to pick a woman in history we admire and write about how they persevered when the whole world was against them.”

“Oh, Daisy,” you started, a little stunned, “I don’t know if I would be an appropriate choice for—”

“My dad was killed by Hydra when I was little,” Daisy explained quietly. “What you did, teaming up with the feds and taking down Hydra from the inside after all they did to you… It’s amazing. I know the CJ guys in this class are all caught up on the Hydra of it all, but I’d really like to be able to learn more about you and what it was like on the inside, why you decided to fight, and how you did it. I already ran it by Professor Hill and she was on board as long as it was okay with you.”

You watched Daisy for a minute, surprised by the confidence growing in her stance as she spoke. This was important to her and there were few people you’d be willing to share those kinds of stories with, but as she glanced up hopefully, you couldn’t help but smile.

“It’s okay with me,” you said, and Daisy nearly jumped off the ground. “You can add your name to the list outside my office for the time you’d like, okay?”

“Yes! Yes, of course! Thank you!” Daisy was already halfway down the hall, waving enthusiastically as she sprinted towards your office. You laughed to yourself as you watched her disappear amongst the crowd of students.

***

“You’ll never guess what happened at work today,” you said as you closed the apartment door behind you, quickly overcome by a wave of cumin and chili powder. 

Taco night. 

Chopped tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, and tortillas lined the table with tiny bowls filled with toppings and spices. At the edge, a chemistry textbook. You paused, narrowing your eyes.

Peter emerged from the bathroom, grinning wide as he spotted you at the front door. “You’re home!”

“I didn’t know you were going to be here,” you laughed, rushing in to give him a hug.

“Aunt May’s working late tonight and Bucky said ‘tacos’ so I was on the first train over.”

“Obviously.”

“Give me ten minutes and we’re good to go!” Bucky called from the kitchen. He was dressed in an old pair of jeans ripped at the knees and a t-shirt that had gone through the wash a few too many times. It was faded and stretched at the neck, but he was comfortable and grinning wildly as he wafted the steam of the ground beef from the pan.

“I’ll move my stuff!” Peter cheered, lunging for the textbook and tossing it into his bag.

“Are you done studying?” you questioned to which Peter scrunched his nose at you.

“You sound like Aunt May.”

“That wasn’t an answer.”

“It’s taco night, Y/n!”

“Yeah, Y/n, it’s taco night,” Bucky chimed in, smirking as Peter nodded along.

“If Aunt May calls over here wondering why I let you off the hook on studying for this exam, I’m blaming the two of you,” you conceded, sinking down into the chair and Bucky placed a margarita on front of you.

“Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

***

“Wait, that’s so cool,” Peter said, mouth half full of his four taco. “This girl’s writing an essay on you?”

“I guess so,” you shrugged, trying to play it off but the truth was you were far more excited than you let on. You hadn’t had a chance to tell your side of the story outside of the connections you made with the women down at Hope Haven and despite the fact that the only reader would likely be your good friend Maria Hill, it meant something to you.

“That’s amazing,” Bucky nodded, reaching for your hand under the table and giving it a light squeeze.

“Definitely better than that punk at my school who wouldn’t keep his mouth shut,” Peter grumbled, angrily biting into another taco as the hard shell cracked to pieces on his plate. “At least he learned his lesson.”

“Watch yourself, Peter,” you warned. “You don’t need to be defending my honor to a high school senior, okay?”

“Yeah, well, there’s a lot more kids talking about how cool you are anyway,” Peter shrugged casually. “MJ is probably your biggest supporter and most kids at the school are afraid of her so… no more fist fights for me.”

“Well good,” you laughed. “I like MJ.”

“Me, too,” Peter replied dreamily, a little caught up in his head to notice the hearts consuming his eyes. You glanced over at Bucky, laughing quietly amongst yourselves.

It was strange, you realized, this foreign feeling in your stomach. It came up every once in a while in moments like these; where Bucky sat comfortably at the seat to your left, his hand holding yours under the table, Peter sitting across from you going on and on about what colleges he was thinking about applying to.

It was a comfortable feeling, a safe feeling, one you didn’t question whether it would be ripped out from under you or break apart at the seams. Something so simple, so domestic, that most people wouldn’t think twice about, but as you watched Peter and Bucky make their way into the kitchen to clean up, laughing amongst themselves as Bucky swatted Peter on the arm with a dishrag, it didn’t feel so simple. It felt extraordinary.

After all you’d been through, to survive the reign of Hydra, to escape the control of a man who was hellbent on keeping you under his thumb, to come out the other side to a man who loved you beyond what you thought capable, to a classroom full of eager students, to a family you never thought you’d have.

“You alright, honey?” Bucky called from the kitchen, his face softening as he noticed the way you were watching them.

You nodded, brushing away the tears under your eyes and offering him a smile that felt near contagious. “I’m perfect, Buck. Just really happy is all.”

Bucky smiled at that, extending up into his cheeks and wrinkling by his eyes. “Good. Stay that way forever, okay?”

You couldn’t help but laugh, nodding along as Peter came up behind Bucky’s shoulder and muffled out a ‘yeah!’ between bites of shredded cheese. Cheddar scampered along the floor to sniff at the few pieces of cheese that had slipped from between Peter’s fingers, before he turned his head away in favor of the food bowl sitting in the corner of the kitchen.

Surrounded by your boys. Perfectly content. Safe. and Loved. 

[summahsunlight]

All For You, Part 11

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.6k+

Pairing: Poe Dameron X Pilot!Reader

Summary: Your life in the Resistance was not easy, being married to Commander Poe Dameron and a skilled pilot yourself. When you unexpectedly get pregnant, your life is forever changed. Raising a child on base is hard, but never having parents of your own as a child, you are determined to love your little girl and give her the best life. Poe is equally as devoted to you and your daughter, vowing to keep you both safe from the impending threat of the First Order.

Taglist: @thescarletknight2014, @elmoakepoke, @xxidontwikeitxx, @liadamerondjarin, @marvelofwitch, @blushingwueen, @april-14-blog, @agents-assemble, @paintballkid711, @softly-sad​, @badbitxhbuckybarnes​

Taglist is still open! Just let me know if you want to be added! I didn’t get the chance to proof read it (I’ll go back later and do that) I just really, really, really wanted to get some  more writing out there to you guys!  Happy reading🥰❤️

Emmy gurgled, happily, while sitting in the sink for her bath. Poe smiled at her when she began to wildly splash and you were quickly covered in soapy water. “Troublemaker,” you grumbled at your daughter, “just like your daddy.”

Poe glared at you, but only half-heartedly. He could never get mad at you when you were taking care of Emmy, when you were just being a mom. He would imagine his own mother taking care of him as a child when he looked at you with Emmy. 

Taking the baby out of the bath water, you gently wrapped her in a towel. She hated being cold and whimpered.  “Here, take her for a second,” you instructed your husband, handing him Emmy. “I left her clothes on the bed.”

“C’mere sweetheart,” Poe said, sweetly to the baby. “Daddy will keep you nice and warm while Mama gets your clothes.”

“Daddy will keep you warm because he’s a human furnace.”

“Don’t let her fool you--she likes how warm I am.”

Emmy smiled, broadly at him and he felt himself falling in love with his baby girl all over again. Poe pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. He’d been gone for a long time this last mission, and while his daughter had settled down when he did leave, it still broke his heart every time. He just wanted to be here with you and Emmy--but he knew in order to keep you both safe, he had to leave from time to time. 

Returning with Emmy clothes, you offered to get her dressed, but Poe wasn’t ready to give her up yet. “I’ll do it,” he said, softly. “We have a lot of time to make up for since I’ve been gone.”

You stood back and watched as Poe took care of the baby. “She missed you, Poe,” you simply said. “It’s crazy but she has this...sense...that you’re not around.”

“I wish I didn’t have to leave so much.”

“There are times that Leia is going to let you say no.”

Poe shook his head and sighed, finishing up dressing Emmy.  He gathered the baby back into his arms and gently hugged her. “I can’t, sweetheart, you know that. I want this galaxy to be safe for you and Emmy.”

Softly you wrapped your arms around his waist and pressed an even softer kiss against his shoulder blade. “I know,” you said, holding back tears. You loved this man so much for his dedication to you, to Emmy--to making the galaxy a safe place for your daughter. It hurt how guilty he felt leaving, knowing that he had no choice. “Someday, she’ll understand.”

Emmy sighed and snuggled against Poe’s shoulder. He rubbed her back and smiled. “Someone is sleepy,” he stated before moving out of your embrace and heading towards the baby’s crib.  He softly sang to her, her little cooed of content filling the quarters. In no time, Emmy was fast asleep. 

“She still hates it when I sing.”

“Sorry, baby, I’m not sure that will ever change.”

“That’s probably true.”

He pulled you close to him, his lips seeking yours out in a lingering kiss. Often times when he kissed you like this, you liked to tease him that this was how they ended up with Emmy--but not tonight. He’d been away for so long that you were just longing for his touch, his arms around you, and even if this only led to him cuddling with you in bed while he worked on his latest report. You’d missed him.

You hummed in contentment as effortless carried you to your bed. Placing you down, Poe brushed his lips across yours once again. “I’m gonna go get started on that report--you go to sleep, sweetheart.”

Pouting, you pulled on his arm. “I was hoping you’d work on your report here in bed, that way I can cuddle with you and you can keep me warm.”

Poe smiled at you and grabbed his data pad. Once the two of you were situated underneath the thin sheets, he proceeded to get his work done while your head rested on his chest. He noticed that you were trying to stay awake and talk to him, but your eyes kept growing heavier and heavier. “Baby, please sleep. You must be exhausted from having to care for Emmy all by yourself while I was away.”

“I had help from Rose,” you said, yawning.”

“Sweetheart. Sleep. Now--that’s an order,” he teased.

There was no argument from you--you had already fallen asleep.

-------

At some point in the middle of the night Emmy woke up screaming. It wasn’t her normal cry, it sounded like she was in pain and when you stumbled to her crib you horrified to find her covered in sweat and running a fever. “Poe!” you gasped, carrying the hysterical infant to your bed. “Poe! Something’s wrong! Wake up!”

Poe groggily opened his eyes and blinked the sleep from them when he saw you standing there with Emmy in your arms. “What...what’s going on?”

Emmy continued to scream over your own hysterical cries. “She’s got a fever! And she’s...maker, Poe, she sounds like she’s in pain!”

“Okay, okay, calm down, sweetheart,” Poe said, scrambling out of bed. 

“Calm down!” you shouted at him. “Our baby is sick!”

“And we’ll take her to see the medics.”

“What if something is really wrong?”

Sighing, Poe reached out and took Emmy from you. Wiping the baby’s tears, he rested her against his shoulder and rubbed her back. “Babies get sick. The medics can probably give us something to help with the fever.”

You chewed on your lower lip. Emmy had never been sick and she had been perfectly fine when she had gone to sleep that night. “I just...”

“I know,” Poe said, softly. He gazed at you lovingly. “Let’s go to the med bay. Okay? It’s gonna be fine, sweetheart.”

“Are you talking to me or the baby?” you quip with a sniffle as he leads you down the corridor towards the med bay.

“Both of you, actually. One of us has to be calm.”

“I am calm.”

Poe threw you a look.

You adverted his gaze. “I’m calm now.”

The nurse knew you were coming--the entire base could probably hear Emmy crying. She tried to coax the baby to come to her but Emmy only sobbed louder if it was even hinted at her father having to release her. “Commander,” the nurse finally said, “maybe you can sit on the examine table with her.”

Watching as Poe sat down, you nervously rocked back and forth on your heels. Every time the nurse got close to your daughter, poking and prodding her, you grew even more anxious--especially when Emmy reacted so terrified. Poe did his best to comfort her but she was having none of that. “Is she okay?” you finally sputtered when you could no longer take the nurse’s silence.

“She’s teething.”

“Teething?”

“Yep. Looks like she’s cut two teeth.”

Poe kissed the baby’s tears away. “Aw, my poor princess. Is there anything we can give her?”

The nurse handed him a cold teething ring and then suggested giving the baby some pain reliever to help her with her fever and help her sleep. 

You weren’t convinced it was just teeth coming in. “Are you sure it’s just teeth?”

“It’s just teeth,” the nurse laughed as she coaxed Emmy to swallow the medicine. “Give her that teething ring to chew on when she’s awake. You can keep it in a chiller unit to keep it cold--if you need more just come see us. Doctor Kalonia ordered some on the last supply run in anticipation that this was coming.”

“I told you it was going to be fine,” Poe said, rising off the cot. He thanked the nurse and giving the teething ring for Emmy to chew on, he headed back towards your quarters. 

Emmy wasn’t screaming anymore; that was a positive. It was still obvious that she was in pain and not feeling well. Upon returning to your quarters, Poe offered to lay with her so you could sleep. You wanted to argue but knew that Emmy would want her father right now--so you let him lay down on the small couch with the baby--but you didn’t sleep. 

Poe softly spoke to Emmy while he continued to rub her back, soothingly. Emmy’s screams and cries had turned into small whimpers. “I know it hurts,” Poe whispered, “I promise, baby girl, it won’t hurt forever. Daddy is gonna take care of you, okay? We’re gonna get through this together.”

Shifting in the bed, you called out to him, “Poe, if we’re in this together...come lie in bed with me.”

“She’ll keep you up.”

“She’s keeping me up already.”

Carefully, Poe rose from the sofa and went to lie down with you in the bed. He gently laid Emmy between the two of you. She fussed for a bit and then eagerly chomping on her teething ring, began to fall back to sleep. And while it took Emmy only a few seconds to fall back to sleep once the medicine had kicked in, it too you and Poe much, much longer.

--------

“Don’t take this the wrong way--but you look terrible.”

“Thanks, Snap.”

Snap quirked an eyebrow. “Rough night?”

Karé nearly choked on her caf. “Rough night? You didn’t hear Emmy screaming last night?” When Snap shook his head, she rolled her eyes. “Maker you’ll sleep through anything.”

He ignored her comments and looked concernedly at Poe. “Is everything alright with Emmy?”

Poe nodded and downed his third cup of caf. “Yeah. She’s teething. Who knew that it was so painful for babies.  I just kinda thought they appeared one day! She’s miserable, Snap and it breaks my heart.”

“Being a father had made him a big ole softy,” Karé teased.

“True. He never cared when I had a toothache,” Snap joked.

“You are not a baby and you’re not my kid,” Poe threw at him. 

“Speaking of the little lady--where is she now?”

“Y/N took her to get more pain reliever.”

Karé’s gaze softened. “Poe, she’ll be okay.”

Poe sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “I know... it just...I felt helpless. I couldn’t take the pain away. All I could do was hold her and rub her back.”

Snap grinned. “Which I’m sure she was fine with. Come on, Poe, you did what you could do. Stop being so hard on yourself.”

“You sound like my wife.”

“Well, we’ve flown with each for a long time now...it was bound to happen.”

“Hey!” Jessika suddenly yelled across the mess hall. “The General wants us!”

Poe, Karé and Snap exchanged glances before scrambling to their feet. If General Organa wanted to see them so soon after returning from a mission something big must have happened.