#she is literally the reincarnation of the last bitch at my old job that i lost my shit at and quit over only she coughs like a fucking idio
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not fictional dumbasses related but i got covid AGAIN from my absolute shitass coworker since nov2020 so for the sake of record and idk education ig im gunna try?? to describe what everything tastes like to me now ever since like a year bc god only knows what the fuck is gunna happen to my taste and smell AGAIN within the next few days!!! :))))
- all fast food tastes like the same dull “grease” flavor is the only way to describe it, fries,chicken nuggets, burgers, pizza everything
-coffee( or any java flavor), cigarettes, any kind of wheat cereal, and weed all smell the same which is basically like old smoke
-most if not all candy tastes like straight up bar soap or like i just sprayed perfume in my mouth
-chocolate tastes the same!! somewhat. the fancy expensive chocolate does, m&ms or snickers or anything like that has a faint “meat taste” which is the flavor that meat tastes like to me now
-meat overall has a very strange sour kind of taste i cant put my finger on it ,ive heard others with long covid say it tastes rotten which i somewhat agree, ham is like the most sour tasting, chicken can be ok?? if i get it raw and cook it but like tv dinners or something forget it, turkey just tastes like it’s been sitting out for days as if its old and dusty idk, i think beef is the most tolerable of them
-all fruit just has a vague “fruit” taste and smell which doesnt quite taste like fruit at all, same with vegetables, asparagus and potatoes were the most identifiable so far
-pretty much most variously good smelling things just got reduced to a vague unidentifiable “good” smell which, again, doesn’t really smell that good like candles, air fresheners, shampoo conditioner, ect.
- with soda the flavors just kinda vanished and all thats left if the “base flavor” like all mountain dew tastes the same (except code red??? i think a lot of cherry flavored sodas pulled thru blessim)
-some things are just completely rearranged like fireball whiskey smells and tastes e x a c t l y like old spice deodorant, skunk smells like that “meat” smell but rlly gross and strong, mandarin oranges smell like formaldehyde which is the chemical used to preserve organisms for dissection, i know when i went over my friends house at some point and a rat died in his walls it literally smelled like soup to me???, golden puff cereal literally tastes like sour meat with some sugar on it
- onions and garlic both have a particular smell and taste that i cannot stand now, it’s like onion But Somethings Wrong idk how to describe it but if i again make garlic from scratch it somewhat tastes fine
-i had to fight tooth and nail to enjoy eggs again but it still has this smell and taste to it that i have to consciously remind myself that yes this is an egg we like eggs remember eggs tastey
and on very rare blessed occasions some things smell and taste the same but overall i Was getting more accustomed to everything or kind of being about to taste the original taste if i think about it hard enough which thats another thing that sucks absolute ass is remembering what something used to taste like but you just cant taste it anymore?? as if theres a part of my brain that locked me out of that i used to be able to get to or going into autopilot and getting something i like only surprise!! this tastes disgusting now and u just wasted money :) so yeah im predicting my smell and taste will vanish again within the next few days and come back a whole new confusing horror that i have to figure out how to live with and as for the lung problem and brain fog as of rn i feel like theres like a thin layer of Something covering my trachea?? it might go away idk from the last rodeo my lungs and Functioning Brain kinda already suck now so idk what the hell else is gunna happen to them now
#covid#not to be negative nancy but ive been keeping this shit to myself for a whole ass year and now all my progress is ruined porbably#this isnt a 'waa feel bad for me guis' i just GOTTA get this out of my system already especially since it could change in the next few day#dont even get me started on the Discount Eating Disorder i developed for like 4 months bc literally#any joy from eating was just replaced with anxiety and disappointment so like what the hell is the point of eating#i got out of it and am or was coping p well but neverfuckingmind#time to do this shit all over again#as for my coworker#despite me not rlly having the time of day to Really Hate anyone anymore i can 100% confidently say i fucking hate her#she is literally the reincarnation of the last bitch at my old job that i lost my shit at and quit over only she coughs like a fucking idio#Literally having to do this shit all over again bc her fucking shit talking ass coughs like a child when shes well in her 40s#that godforsaken mouth needs to be taken from her it quite literally brings nothing but pain and suffering#mMMMMMM anyway refraining from turning into a nutjob in tumblr tags but yeah#in conclusion bestie: It's On Sight!!!#long post#should post drawins in shit within the next few days
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Going to tell everyone about my god au because I have no ideas of how to write this but I also have brainrot
Enjoy
Phil - Angel Of Death
Kristin - Death
Tommy - God Of Attachment
Tubbo - A powerful mortal child with nukes that all the gods are scared of
Technoblade - Blood God
Ranboo - Gender Deity
Dream - God Of Isolation (opposite of Tommy)
George - Sleep
Sapnap - Animal God
Wilbur - Fire God
Sally the Salmon - a random Mermaid
Fundy - Half-god shapeshifter
Puffy - A pirate
Niki - Ocean Goddess
Eret - Deity of Redemption
Quackity - Trickster God
Sam - God of Protection (horrible at his job)
Jack - God of Spite
More info under the cut :D
Philza Minecraft
* Half-god, immortal but otherwise human
* Killed the ender dragon
* Kristin made him her angel, giving him his wings
* He collects souls for Kristin, sometimes Tommy helps
* Old friend of Techno’s
* Terrified of Tubbo
* Tired father trying to keep his son out of trouble
* Tommy calls him Dadza
Kristin Minecraft
* Know by mortals as Death
* Death goddess <3
* Protective of Tommy
* Tommy calls her mumza
* Raised Tommy to respect women
* Salty because Phil is the favourite
* Pandas are associated with death
* Mortals swear they see her in graveyards while they mourn
* Can revive the dead at the cost of something else
* She loves halloween!
* She gave all humans a chance at three lives
Technoblade
* Known as the blood god, but he’s more of a rebellion/anarchy/war type thing
* Doesn’t mind the name though, it has a good ring to it
* Has voices
* Favours and promises are very important to him
* People pray to him on the battlefield - either to have mercy for their soldiers, or to destroy the opposing army
* However he always listens to the side that is less connected to government, and only gets involved himself if the war is against tyranny
* He looks scary but he’s actually nice when he’s in a good mood
* Loves animals (bonds over that with Tommy)
* Reads greek mythology in his spare time. Those gods aren’t around anymore, but he finds the stories interesting
* Close friends with Wilbur
* Accidentally adopted Ranboo
Ranboo
* Gender deity
* Any pronouns, most of the gods use gender/genders/genderself
* Platonically marries Tubbo
* Has known Tommy basically genders whole life
* Friends with Fundy
* Thinks Eret is cool
* Despite being the deity of gender, Ranboo doesn’t understand genders own identity at all
* Tallest out of everyone
* There are many public shrines dedicated to gender for young trans people with unaccepting parents to pray to since they can’t make their own shrines
* Often seen at pride events
* Associated with The End
Tubbo Underscore
* Just literally some random mortal guy
* A teenager
* Came across Tommy at some point and the bitch just decided they were best friends
* He couldn’t care less for gods before that. Worships none of them
* Can make nukes (the only thing that can kill a god aside from another god)
* Actually a chaos gremlin
* Probably lives alone somehow
Tommy ‘Innit’ Minecraft
* Innit comes from always introducing himself as ‘My name’s Tommy, innit?’
* Known by mortals as Theseus
* Loves animals and has many pets
* Often claims people as his family upon meeting them
* Attachment, born from beings of grief
* Always covered in dirt
* Can fly despite not inheriting wings
* Big man not child
* I care him
* Works closely with children has they tend to hold attachments closer than adults
* an idiot
* Loves music (especially Wilbur’s)
* not actually related to Wilbur or Techno but says they’re his brothers anyway
Dream
* Tommy’s cousin somehow
* Mostly hated and is salty about it
* Does not like Tommy, and by proxy hates anyone who does like him
* Takes away people’s attachments
* Despite being god of separation/isolation/detachment, he does have attachments of his own. Sapnap and George. Though he doubts they’ll last
* Wears a mask
* Rarely worshipped
* Spiritual reincarnate of DreamXD, an old god
GeorgeNotFound
* Known by mortals as Gogy
* Sleeps all the time
* Often prayed to by people with night terrors, insomnia and sleep paralysis to keep them safe as they sleep
* Decorating your bedroom in a blue/yellow palette (colours he can see) is an act of worship
* He is tired
* Guides sleepwalkers and keeps them safe
* enjoys lullabies
Sapnap
* animal god
* Tommy steals so many of his animals ):
* Spends most of his time in animal shelters
* Sits with dying animals to give them comfort as they pass on
* Prayed to when a pet has to be put down
* Worshipers ask for his permission to hunt
* Favours fish (Mars and Beckerson)
* I thought this was funny
Wilbur Soot
* likes TNT
* People often make campfires when they pray to him
* Plays guitar (campfire songs :D)
* Causes forest fires when he’s angry sometimes
* Friends with Niki
* Can’t touch water
* Likes blue
* People ask him to keep them safe on their journeys in the nether
* Also often associated with creativity
Sally The Salmon
* Not a god, but a mermaid
* Lives with Niki
* A girlboss <3
* Salmon tail
* Scared of axolotls
* Swims in rivers while Wilbur walks alongside her on the land
* Technically a siren (sings with Wilbur)
Fundy Soot
* spawned when Wilbur and Sally met, so they shared custody of him, though he isn’t technically biologically related
* Trans
* People pray to him during surgeries (any kind of surgery, not just trans related ones) and he’ll make it go wrong if he’s having a bad day
* Favourite form to shift into is a fox, does this so often that he permanently has fox ears and and tail in human form
* Will become a fish to spend time with his mother
* Semi-nocturnal
* Not immortal due to only being half-god, basically opposite of Phil since Phil’s only a god because of immortality, and Fundy has everything god-related but immortality
Captain Puffy
* pirate mortal
* Dating Niki
* Travels a lot because pirate
* Throws flowers overboard for Niki
* Good friends with Sally
* Sword fights with Techno
* Built her own ship
* Gives people boat rides
Niki Nihachu
* she can go on land but prefers to stay in water
* In return for the flowers Puffy gives her, she calms the waves.
* Works closely with Sapnap to protect ocean life
* Drinking from waterfalls is a common act of worship
* Has picnics with Jack
* Her hair changes colour sometimes
* Associated with ores for some reason
* Tommy is terrified of her but they’re friends
* Mature but still can be a chaos being
* Despite being a water goddess, she’s a big fan of arson.
Eret
* patron of monarchs
* People ask her for forgiveness
* He goes with Ranboo to pride events
* Acts a lot more proper and formal when interacting with mortals than when interacting with other gods
* Spiritual reincarnate of Herobrine, an old god
* Regarded as the king of the gods, but they’re not the most powerful of them by any means
* Does not get on with Techno because of this
Quackity
* can often be found in casinos
* A being of chaos
* Literally walks around nude and sells drugs what is wrong with him
* Spends more time around the mortals than the gods
* Soft spoken but in a creepy way
* If you need something from him, you have to play a card game with him. If you lose, he gets something from you instead.
* He used to let the other person pick the card game, until Tommy picked uno and won.
Sam
* known as Warden to mortals
* The only god who just really sucks at his job
* Is often asked to bless people’s children to keep them safe
* Associated with Redstone
* Seen walking around prisons
* Used to be close to Tommy. Neither of them talk about what happened to change that
* Creeper appearance despite not being a hybrid (thus commonly associated with creepers)
* Can go from emotionless to compassionate in the blink of an eye
* Builds robots like sam nook that are better than he is at protecting people
Jack Manifold
* Vengeful
* Finds himself working alongside Techno often, as there is commonly a lot of spite in war time
* Gets into childish arguments with Tommy
* Thinks Tubbo’s nukes are cool
* In his spare time he likes fishing, and it’s how he met Niki
* He’s cold to the touch
* Eyes go bright green when he’s feeling any negative emotion that’s not sadness
* Hates most mortals, okay with some of the gods
* Fond of Tubbo
#dsmp#dream smp#dsmp god au#tommyinnit#wilbur soot#tubbo#philza#technoblade#niki nihachu#captain puffy#ranboo#dreamwastaken#georgenotfound#sapnap#fundy#navy makes aus
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howdy hey , pardnerrrs :> i’m rox ( she / her ) ‘n i’ll be playing yr residential sullen broodin’ boy , nico . i didn’t have the time to write out a whole new intro , given that i have back to back classes again today :-’( , so please forgive me for recycling his old intro akawodkgrsd ; . that being said , i did tweak around some tingz and i updated his wcs for him , so if yr down to clown around just hmu on my discord : 𝔰𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔱 𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔫𝔦𝔞#2854 ! okie okie , i’ll shut da eff up now ♡
BASICS.
༉‧₊˚✧ kim taehyung , cis man , he / him / his — did you see that nicholas “nico” yoon was trending last night ? the twenty three year old street artist has been getting a lot of press lately . i think it’s due to them being so + quixotic & + free-spirited , but i always thought they seemed - withdrawn & - sybaritic . their fans always say they remind them of soft smoke rings spun in a dreamy haze , silver-ringed fingers rapping against polished oak , and waning light refracting against broken glass though . i wonder if they’ve found out about REDACTED yet … i guess we’ll have to wait and see . [ rox , 22 , pst , she / her , none ]
PINTEREST & PLAYLIST .
01 and 02 .
PERSONALITY .
at first glance , nico reads as this aloof , arrogant type that doesn’t like to associate w the common public . always keeping the majority of people at a comfortable distance , nico moves almost exclusively within his own social network , and doesn’t like to deviate from what he knows best .
not so much pretentious as he is lazy , making an effort to socialize with complete strangers is simply something that nico would never do . hehe ... he’s kind of shy like that .... ♡ though he’d literally never admit it ♡
despite giving the impression that he’s some intimidating and chronically indifferent kind of guy , nico is genuinely a sweet boy — one who’s in a constant state of confusion as to why people seem to be so scared of him . it always comes as a shock when close friends of his admit that they thought he absolutely hated their guts when they first met him .
b/c tho he’s p smart , nico is very oblivious at times , and he’s 100% the kind of guy who’ll walk away from a conversation thinking he did a rly rly good job trying to make a friend ... when in reality he prob said four words in the span of thirty minutes smh .
overall , nico’s a private person , especially with what he’s thinking ... and it’s really hard to get a clear read on what’s on his mind . sharing his feelings has never been one of nico’s interests b/c he just genuinely doesn’t think whatever he has to say is rly worth mentioning . so he usually just shuts da fuck up n lets other ppl talk so he can mentally gain the strength to continue socializing .
push nico’s buttons enough tho ‘n you’ll catch this mf speaking in full sentences .
lastly , it should b noted that nico is a romantic through n through ... this mf probably d*ed in the victorian era ‘n got reincarnated b/c he’s got that ‘ lets share furtive glances across the room but never say a thing to each other ‘ thing on lock . mr. darcy headass
and while nico might play the role of long-suffering , ever pining lover to a T , he’s more in love w / the idea of love than he is w / any single person . and he literally cannot hold down a relationship w/o fucking it up for himself in some shape or form .
kind of sarcastic ... v much the teasing type ....
can b very impulsive at times , loves to go on solo adventures at night , prefers his own company tbh ...
overview : melancholic , reticent , noncommittal , humble , mild-mannered , romantic .
a mix of : josh from clueless and j.d. from heathers
more here .
MORE AESTHETICS.
the chill of silver jewelry against flushed skin , forgotten graffiti on porcelain sinks , flickering motel lights , kisses sticky with vodka , eyes ringed with lavender , sleepless nights surrendered to the dull buzz of television , obscure art house films , sun-kissed cheeks , the surprise of summer rain , chest aching with lost loves , scattered baby’s breath and rosemary , and a shared smile between perfect strangers .
CHARACTER DISSERTATION.
nico was born on a brisk wintry morning in the fashion district of los angeles ( january 21st , 1997 ) to a family of six .
as the second youngest child , and the only male son to boot , nico grew up with his only inheritance being a generational kind of hunger , one that demanded for more than what his struggling parents could offer
the arts stole nico at an early age ... ushering him into a world of creation and freedom beyond the four bleak walls he daily occupied . from spending lonely summers tucked away in some forgotten corner in the library to practicing on a borrowed violin from dawn to dusk , nico knew that even with nothing at his disposal , there was always something to be made w/ the tools he’d been given
despite not having the money for private tutors to hone their son’s growing artistic talents , his parents did whatever they could to support his dreams , whether that meant working double shifts back to back or scrounging for loose change underneath the sofa cushions to pay for whatever materials nico needed .
it was in this strange way that nico grew up p spoiled . somehow having nothing while also having absolutely everything at the same time .
very much a family man , the first big purchase nico made once he broke out in hollywood was a house in beverly hills for his parents . now that he’s finally at a place where he can take care of his family , nico makes sure that his parents and sisters want for nothing
while he showers everyone else with generous gifts and obscene amounts of money , nico doesn’t particularly feel comfortable doing the same for himself . he’s a simple man through n through . one who’s content to spend his time walking his dog late at night , listening to a podcast on his airpods , instead of going out to a club w/ other well-known socialites .
a true artist at heart , nico refuses to conform to the current trends of hollywood , instead insisting on wearing thrifted clothes to important galas — much to the frustration of his PR team and the chagrin of his stylists . but none of the choices nico makes seems to surprise anyone anymore . driving flashy cars and wearing designer clothes has never really been his style , after all . and it’s important to him that he remain authentically himself despite everything .
WANTED CONNECTS.
pr relationship ( open ) : someone that nico is contractually obligated to date ... i could totally see there being drama ‘n tension from having to pretend to actually like each other ... would b better if they rly did not like each other at all ...
fwb ( open ) : buddies who bump uglies sometimes ... they both agreed they’d never catch feelings for each other but we’ll see ...
frenemies ( open ) : someone that grinds nico’s gears but they’re a friend of his friend ... so they’re forced to keep it civil . i can see them exchanging hateful comments in the back of their friend’s car while simultaneously posting pics of each other on ig to keep up the rouse .
unrequited crush ( open ) : likely nico would not realize if yr muse had a crush on them ... but it’d be fun to play it out like a kdrama anyway heh heh
a close friend group ( open / any ) : i thought it’d b so cute if there was like a small group of friends , maybe 3-4 ppl , that do stupid shit like ditch going to celebrity after-parties to break into abandoned buildings , get real high , ask stupid ‘ would u rather ‘ questions , and do sum main character type shit ... yk what im puttin down ... ‘n nico is def the type to open up in the presence of extroverts so i think having a group of wild outsiders of diff bgs would b v inch resting ..
enemies / rivals ( open / any ) : tbh nico prob rubs ppl the wrong way since he has resting bitch face ‘n never wants to talk to anyone .. so im sure there r ppl who just do not like this mf ... and rest assured that the feeling is mutual ...
bad / good influence ( open / any ) : nico’s known to mount his high horse often ... mr morality over here ... so i just know he prob would butt heads w/ the residential troublemaker . tho nico’s artwork can be controversial and out of the box at times , his art style and his personality are at constant odds , and it’d b interesting to have that bad influence / good influence dynamic w/ someone .
family friend ( open ) : someone who grew up w/ nico in dtla ... couldve gone to the same public school as him ... or their families couldve gone to the same church ...
ok my intro post has become a fucking behemoth so im going to stop here ‘n just say i have so many more wcs in mind so if u wanna plot lets just talk hehe :>
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May we have a recap, please? :)
**spoilers for panic at the art show and home for the holidays**
OK people. I actually don’t have a ton of commentary on these two so I’m gonna try and keep it (relatively) short and sweet [Edit from Future Me: Failed Step 1].
Also, iirc, this is the week Dropout starts streaming new Fantasy High eps on Wednesdays which is very dope and I am very excited for. I probably won’t do full on recaps like I do for normal eps because, lbr, I don’t strictly have the time to be recapping these eps at all and it’s pure stubbornness that keeps me from making wiser time management decisions. But, rest assured, if I have an Opinion, you will hear it whether you want to or not.
Anyway, on with the show.
Last recap, I mentioned that this ep was giving me Aelwen house party vibes and now it reminds me of that ep in another way: Everyone rolled like TRASH almost the entire ep. It was so frustrating! They barely got any hits in until like halfway through the ep.
(Aw man, I just realized I’m gonna have to remember which spelling of Aelwen is correct again now that FH is coming back.)
I love how Murph is immediately like, “I need to make sure my wife doesn’t die during this fight avenging her fictional husband.”
Isabella also has Aelwen’s trick of poofing around the battlefield which is annoying as hell (ha) for the group.
Siobhan hilariously casts fear on Priya just to be spiteful. I thought she was doing it to help the evac process but no. It was a purely spiteful action. Bless.
When Kug turns into an ape he, of course, turns into *the* NY ape, King Kong.
“I roll a nat 20 on an epic shit.”
When Brennan was describing Kingston’s spectral New Yorker Guardians I was already thinking about that one part of Spiderman 2 (the OG Toby Mac version) and then he straight up said, “You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us,” and I lost it.
“Deny the stairs the pleasure of my feet.” Emily is a poet.
I want to know what makes a pigeon spicy more than anything.
The fact that Brennan killed Ox AGAIN and then immediately looked into the camera and let the audience know the dog was fine because he clearly Oracle stared into the future between eps and saw the entire internet sharpening their pitchforks was so funny.
About midway through the ep, Pete tries and fails to send Isabella back to hell and Isabella starts monologing about her plans and connection with Robert Moses (she stole the list from Santa and is/was gonna marry Moses apparently). I wonder if Brennan was like, “These players are for sure gonna murder her without getting any useful info out of her unless she goes full Bond Villain right now.”
And, proving my point, Emily immediately does 56 points of damage, royally f-ing Isabella up.
This is a really civilian heavy fight which feels weird in a way the FH fights never did. Like, these aren’t even civilians who live in an adventuring town in a fantasy world. These are just normal ass civilians in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Pete fails a wild magic roll after failing to teleport into the building and then gets a choice of getting really strong (which prob would have let him bust down the door) or to teleport in (which is what he does and exactly what he wanted). Very clutch when the dice rolls play into the story like that.
Kingston lightning bolts Isabella’s hair off which is just malicious but also totally called for.
On her next turn, Sophie gets hurt on purpose to get low enough to activate her ring, lets her hair burn for long enough to shorten it to a cute bob, insults Isabella, then knocks her tf out.
I love that Emily took one of her teeth (a seemingly crazy move) and when called out by Lou was like, “It’s a link to Robert Moses” (a completely reasonable answer). That’s the Axford one-two punch.
I didn’t mention it before but, Willie the golem is here, first immobile but then brought back by Misty. Post fight, he says he was somehow brought here by one of the evil factions of the city and says they’ll talk about it later. Also, Misty makes out with him (DON’T KINKSHAME HER).
With a high insight roll, Kingston is able to deduce that the group was ambushed (though not by Priya) and that their victory was a really important one for the fate of the city.
(Sidenote: The amount that Pete is Over Priya in this ep is so funny.)
Back at Wally’s (which is where Kug is now staying) Wally has gotten Kug a dog bed to sleep in and fancy charcuterie cheese because he and Ricky are the only pure-hearted people in NYC.
At the same time, Pete and Kingston have a very sweet heart to heart and then settle down at Kingston’s place to chill and listen to jazz. Idk how else we expected this to resolve, considering this is a Brennan Lee Mulligan DM’d show where the sacred pillars are Teamwork, Friendship, Communication, and Making up an NPC on the Fly Because One of Your PC’s Decided to do an Insane Thing.
Next up is the Christmas ep and Brennan, Emily, and Zac are in sweaters for the occasion.
Well,actually it’s the 21st and Emily immediately clocks that that’s the solstice.
Are cookies the good carb?/Absolutely not. But have fun with your life. (I love Ricky’s soft jock energy.)
“I run deliveries,” Pete says to Kingston’s parents, not technically lying but also not being completely truthful. Misty would be proud.
Going over to Misty, it seems pretty clear at this point (and it’s confirmed in the promo for next ep) that Misty’s fairy business is some kind of de-aging/reincarnation for herself. I wonder how many of these she’s done so far. She said she’s been around for, what? 200, 300 years? Assuming she’s been doing then reincarnations at about 65-70 years old and she reincarnates to around 25? Maybe 6 times? Idk. Just spitballing.
Saucer of milk to keep the faeries from stealing her (non-existing) children. Faerie lore is wild y'all.
Did you take another level of warlock?/Yeah bitch.
The fact that since Sophie has joined a monastery, she’s only taken Warlock levels and no Monk levels is very funny from a story perspective. It’s like, she finally comes to this sacred place to be trained to her full potential and she’s just spending what should be her sparring time playing with her cat in exchange for spells. Wild.
Emily’s cat-like, self-satisfied grin when Brennan is like, “So you just jerry-rigged yourself clairvoyance powers, huh?” is so good.
And she did it on the fly because Emily Axford is winning D&D. There are no points but she’s winning.
So, uh, Emily does, two things, very in character right after the other:
Thing number one: She send her unseen servant to spy on her family. Her dad seems hardline, “F, Dale. Whatever. Family first. She needs to get over it.” On the other side of the spectrum is her mom who is very upset about the whole affair with her siblings falling in the middle.
The second thing she does, very casually I might add, is have her unseen servant BURN DOWN HER HOUSE SO SHE CAN COMMIT INSURANCE FRAUD.
EMILY
Everyone loses their minds and rightfully so. What a wild-ass swing that no one could have seen coming. I love it.
“I look in my backpack which is now my home[…]"
I almost forgot that Ricky was a fire fighter who would not abide that nonsense until Brennan decided to cut to him.
Ricky just dolphin swims across the Hudson in 2.5 mins to go put out the fire that Sophie set. Amazing.
Ally mocking Emily/Sophie: Truthfully, I don’t know what happened.
"I love John McClane, because he loves his wife.” WALLY
Wally: Oh we’re gonna tell a lie on Christmas.
“This is what winning looks like.”
I would really like to know what trace stuff what on the drugs Pete got from 7 but Ally rolled too low to figure it out.
“I disassociate fully."
Well it took him a long ass time but glad to have Pete on the selling drugs to kids is bad train. Choo-choo, dude.
7 saying you can hack in real life in reference to his AK-47 has the same energy as Hardison using the word hack in literally any semi-weird episode of Leverage.
SOCIAL MEDIA IS VOLUNTARY PANOPTICON
So Kug goes with Wally to David’s house disguised as a dog and, despite that, blurts out that he’s his dad immediately. Well, he tries to. The Umbral Arcana stops him, unfortunately.
"I lick my son’s face.” KUUUUG.
Sophie showing up with a raw goose and hellish rebuking it is so metal and it’s a shame no one got to appreciate it.
Me when Sophie’s Mom changes into black top in solidarity for Sophie’s mourning: F EVERY OTHER NON-SOPHIE BICICLETA. I RESPECT YOU.
Kingston is hustling very hard to get his man Pete a job which is a very Kingston move. That’s how guys like that show affection.
Didn’t mention it before but Kingston’s parents and Mom specifically adopting Pete is very cute.
Sidenote: Idk what 7 was talking about Pete trying to stay low profile. He wears a cowboy hat (now a ZEBRA STRIPED one, courtesy of Kingston). I think the subtlety train has sailed my guy.
Esther shows up at the firehouse, carrying presents for her mom and grandma and looking for Ricky. The says that she’s kinda dealing with something and it feels good to be around him (beat) magically speaking. Sure. I’m gonna keep my Hercules soundtrack on hand just in case anyway.
I think Ricky is the only person who, with no pretense, could give his crush a sexy calendar featuring him.
Anyway, turns out Esther’s mom and grandma are the furies of Tompkins Square and she’s fated to join them or something.
Esther causally: I defy you, I defy the prophecy.
The fury thing would explain why Esther’s mom would have cursed Kug. They are famously magical punishers.
Ricky is a magically certified Good Boy but we been knew.
Zac’s restraint to respect Esther’s personal boundaries in lieu of getting a lore drop to stay true to Ricky’s character is amazing. Mad props.
So we slide over to Misty’s Christmas party which Stephen Sondhein is attending and him having a character card kinda killed me.
There’s a post on tumblr somewhere about playing faerie incapability for impoliteness against a vampires need to be invited in and that’s what I thought about when Moses and his vamp friends showed up at Misty’s house.
Robert tries to talk Misty into striking a deal with him for protection from Titania. She’s very much not having it.
“You know Robert, I love a comedy and I love a farce. I’d like to remind you of who it is that started this and it’s not me and it’s not my friends but I can assure you Robert Moses that we will be the ones to end it if you do not. Do you understand me?” Damn. That’s a mic drop from Misty.
[As I’m editing this, I’m realizing I somehow lost a BIG chunk of text. I’m not gonna write it all up again but the Cliffnotes are as follows:
Between the Solstice and Christmas, the gang goes Grand Central Station to see the clockwork gnomes that live there because trouble is apparently afoot. Some size changing nonsense happens and Pete shoots a dog (with mini bullets, the dog is fine). Lou is enchanted even though Kingston is not (a common theme with him). Ally and Emily are on the same nonsense wavelength (as usual).
There are dope magical dragon trains under Grand Central Station that go to the shadow realm which is a place I’d like to know about. Kingston has never seen these trains before even though you’d really think he would have.
Murph says Gnome Rights which is wild if you know what Naddpod is like.
Anyway, the high priestess of the gnomes passed out the other day and they figure out it was due to pixie magic which is suspicious. They also know they pixies have access to a “time stone” which leads me to believe that it’s Brennan and not Aguefort who thinks that Chronomancy is the most powerful magic of all.
Sophie and Jackson go to Dale’s grave on Christmas. Jackson explains that the Order of the Concrete Fist is basically a literal school of hard knocks. A counterbalance to all the reach for the stars dreaminess that comes with NYC.
Dale was their chosen one who was supposed to stop the monastery from falling when some unspecified badness crossed over to this side, but when he went to the place where he was supposed to get guidance, there was no one there (clearly tying in to what Dale said to Sophie last time they talked. I wonder what she needs to get to the top of? Empire State maybe?).
Watching Murph watching Emily, his real life spouse, play at grief for her fictional husband and do some truly insane things is so funny because you can clearly see him thinking, “I am married to this woman,” which, in fairness, is probably the main thing he’s thinking when he’s playing D&D with Emily.
I’m probably missing something but that’s all I remember. Back to post-Christmas!]
So it’s opening night at Misty’s show and, somehow, Ricky’s first show ever.
I love that Don Confetti is there because of Siobhan’s offhanded comment for a handful of eps ago about him being a supporter of the arts.
Anyway, everything is going great until the second act when Titania busts in through the mirror which is *not* is storage as Misty requested but on stage. It’s a theater fight, y'all! And not the West Side Story kind although if that doesn’t come up I will be very surprised.
“Let’s kill Titania!” –Misty in the promo
Just going straight to 11, huh Misty?
See y'all then!
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So Declan loved me and we talked about science and lab babies and clones and all that. So He told me he loved me because i was the first person to really really listen and understand as opposed to being the one to teach.
And so he had understood what he was taught then developed and built upon it correctly with help from his own brain and God. And del Muerte whom helped me understand as well cause that shit was mind blowing.
So he asked me to have his soul mate. To give birth to her.
And I was pretty much dragged out and Declan ran the show after that.
I agreed but it was more like a thing where i had to focus and talk instead of fainting.
So Matt actually helped to implant because I have an upturned uterious and so things like that are painful because of the rigidity and non flexible as i need materials used while Jeremiah comforted and helped me relax.
So then essentially i was kidnapped.
Declan is part clone and part Neanderthal.
Annabelle is part clone and part Neanderthal.
So some of us from Michael Jackson's boarding school --- although I wasn't i stayed there alot on my own. So i was part of it, unofficially as i am a civilian doing military shit now. --- have clones in a laboratory. But they are miniature human size as they are kept in barbie size containers.
Since Declan was a clone Jesse gave permission to make, they said i should use a clone.
It took 5 eggs until Declan approved the child that would be created in the embryo. Del Muerte communicated to us what God said.
Most males get their soul mates at age 7. Declan was only 2 years old. So God hadnt had enough experience to program or create his perfect soulmate.
So it just so happened it was 2 years of plus 5 embryos which makes the year 7 while added together.
So when Annabelle was born Declan came to get me and her but my now ex-husband got me all fucked up and i had amnesia and all that and i remember the power struggle type issues while signing the birth certificate which is why i get child support as my ex swore bla bla bla and signed papers to those statements but I was all "Dude while he's signing let's run!" Because he pissed me off during that time and i was all no hes wrong and all... But I guess I was scared of him or his aura csused me confusion or Idk. I remember feeling sick.
So craziness. We are 16 years late. And unfortunately yet fortunately a lot of research was done and i have a lot of government apology money coming my way. Which i don't have yet.... But soon.
This is Cambria AvaLynn named after Alexis Dejoria.
Because Matt's parents were into hiding, they named him after a mat. A common object so in case of ESP feom the people they hid from they would think "welcome mat" like welcome to travel with us son named Matt. Welcome to eat at the dining table, Matt. Well, come, Matt.
So came or come because i would always want to see Matt so I would say "You came!!!" When i saw him and hug him and he would say "welcome"
And Bria after me.
Turning the x into a v (for Victory) and Lynn as in the 80s most of my friends on the military base i lived on has Lynn as their middle names. So to remind me she is a friend.
She's my child that was ectopic due to the sponges Jamie & Doug Otis found and reminded us of. But we went to the hospital because i began to hemmoragge and they were able to save her and her twin.
Then my mom killed her and he died naturally as he was in ICU TO experiment on them being raised/healed as premies temporarily as one within an incubator and the other skin to skin contact. As woman need to be comforted more, we picked Ava to bring home.
They were the first experiment with soul mates being born as twins. Both clones of my and Jeremiah and his being Ava and my being the male Andrew.
Andrew after Jesse... "And he drew" cause he was always drawing beautifully.
And the other clones were of Jesse James and Alexis.
Alexis got kidnapped by her dad and so the story goes... I did too Eventually
Jeremiah's dad helped us as the grandparent in house.
This is Declan.
He told Jeremiah "I'm not the one sitting around waiting with a pouted lip waiting for someone to do it for me. Now i found the woman and go get my kid!!"
Dude WTF I'm not having someones kid... I'm only 21!!
"Now im the man around the house and what I say goes!!! And you are going to have my kid!!"
Dude whatever. So i did dream into the lab with them but... I thought we were just playing and so i agreed and so next thing i knew there was a frozen child ready to be implanted. Thus my ability to be kidnapped so easily...
Cause when a kid is all telling you about clones and labs and shit... And you're hearing voices... that shit is insane. Literally.
So i didn't take it seriously enough.
But Declan is only 19 Now. And my kid is 16.
So it's old enough to have a romantic relationship. To avoid issues i had as a child with social services.
The plan was to have them grow up as friends but also believed it may been too dangerous....
Yet I still don't agree that it was.
However for the last 10 year's I have been working daily for my amnesia to be solved and also saving the world (of NHRA especially) at the same time.
And have earned multiple Nobel Peace Prizes which i have yet to receive.
So working on law enforcement and the military and government, about to break into the public school system and tear that up ;) as a civilian has earned me billions of dollars i have yet to receive....
But i have given away as i can and have bought businesses that I want.
As proof that the government does care about all its people's hopes and dreams they have bought them on my behalf and am gsining bank! And i shop st my own businesses too... Ironically! I been shopping at Loves for nearly a year... went into Speedway a few times now i drive an extra 5 miles just to shop there because i like it more!!
Robert, the shift manager finally told me tonight as I bought all the GIANTS for my Giant 6'7" man. And i turned the ones in Valencia County to Speedway in honor of Aaron and Paul (twins) who wanted to show the dangers of meth and the meth community as they honored me with my idea of how to end Breaking Bad with the movie reel of El Camino (the mother road) of the manner of the psychological reality of life gone wrong.
I freak Robert out... He was worried when he saw me there that I was to audit like a monster, fire everyone and work the cash register and store myself.
So tonight he saw I bought milkshakes (not available at Love's) figured it out and gave me a pack of smokes for free and blurted out why.
So i took all the giants as i always do and fucked them all up and made them better.
So i own them till i make my money back on the businesses and then they get given to who I intended it for... As I do double check they will always be worthy... If not i keep them for me because I was being good snd honest and fair the whole time.
So 360° K i own.
So i only compete with Love's whom I always promised the King's Highway to... You know him... As an old time Western Thug bitch ass womanizer player. Motorcycle Guru. Hot Rod extraordinaire. Texas loving son of a gun. Jesse James Smith! Just kidding... Just regular old ole fogie mad scientist Jesse Gregory Smith. Of West Coast Choppers. Which i own and always have as i put up the money for his business intending to always be in his life and helping him. So my apology... The only one i can ever give as i can't predict the future without help is Love. And he loves everyone and won't let Google tell.
I bought every gas station in the country as we will be switching to electric and hydro electric and non fuel and solar and hybrid autos by 2030. So the previous owners have a nice retirement and no stress. As the storage oil facilities that were shot in Saudia Arabia were actually empty. I own them.
Fossil fuels are actually the blood of dinosaurs and other dead bodies that are converted and broken down and dehydrated by plant life...
I found that out by the eternal bushes burning.. I mean growing... here on the mountain. Tumble weeds otherwise known as thyme. And we found via satellite tons of skeletons by Earth xrays under the bushes and some not as they are closer to the Earth surface. I found a wooly mammoth knuckle bone.
We moved here in 2002 and there was a patch of earth that looked like concrete by the mail boxes and we just drove over them assuming that's what it was.
They were mummified wooly mammoths. Now broken up and scattered all over the desert road.
I would not like my blood which could potentially bring me back to life wasted on a car... For someone to get to a job they hate. So no more. Not from the USA anyways.
One night I was at dinner and i said Obama needs to handle thwt South Dakota pipeline. My dad was all what is he supposed to do? All simple solutions were crap and had an argument. I said "then lie! Tell the American people they are scum! Tell them we opened the pipeline up and the pipes broke and destroyed the precious land that needs to be protected." My dad laughed and i felt kinda stupid for being so angry.
But Uncle Donald heard my point and so thats exactly what he did. Fake news? Its real.
Because he saw the change I made in the NHRA with some lies that laid very close to the truth.
You don't need to believe in reincarnation for it to happen. I didn't until about 6 months ago. But my mom's mom and my great aunt my grandma's sister ... Granny Bessie Heltons 2 daughters did. My grandma explained it to me one night when I was 18 as i had asked my Great Aunt Nita i was closer to but she didn't explain she just said "because i do" And the dictionary explaination i already knew. But my grandma traveled with me like y'all know i do And showed me.
We started in Heaven with only having one human life and having the soul figure of a human that we select. Hers was a teenage body, absolutely beautiful. With her old ass mind and experience. I told her what I wanted was to be a child. A dirty raggedy haired barefoot blonde without a care in the world, feeling smarter than I feel now... Because that is when i was happiest. When i saw i could end pain and suffering with death, when i knew life could escape heart ache, even when evil exist.
And so now on her second cat life with me, as her first caused her kidnapping by the same drug induced psycho piece of shit that arrested and molested Jesse James dog, Coco and her untimely death as I did record in Tumblr. "Sister Kitty" was kidnapped by him, hes in a special jail. He just had his pinkie finger nail and big toe nail removed as he did kidnap Mogar and slice his face and slice Kizzys leg. So in order to understand what he did he agreed to similar punishment as he did to our precious cargo...
Cargo my bitches!
Jesse: No! I only ask!
Me: who do i have to convince?
Jesse: Idk Jeremiah?
Me: Ava who is your dad?
Ava: Idk I guess not Jeremiah?? IDK!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL!? you all always told me they are both my dad's. Let me ask God. Oh! Jesse! ..... And Jeremiah
Me: your dad is your dad and dad he will always be no matter shine or high water, love will always be there for you and for me. Alexis, do you know that one?
She nods all teary..
Jesse: well did i get loves?!
Me: uhh yes ass hole! We always love you back. What do you want with a gas station with no gas? That's like having a family with out us, most especially me!
Jesse: well it got gas now!!!
Me: well gas up at your local, bring a truck. I got a lot of stuff.
Declan: you hear her? Most especially me! Me! Well, me too, you better pick me up.
Me: Jesse... You ready for Orlando?? I got a Chase bank account with the Princess Castle on the debit card... Just needs a little cash in the account.
Jesse: You Mean You Will Pay!!!
Me: i see that was not a question so that does not deserve a response. But yes. I am suppose to have a wire transfer per last night's discussions that will pay for it.
Jesse: WHOA SHIT!
Me: Jeremiah you down?
Jeremiah: to pay Miss Giant Owner?
Me: uhh I'm Miss Speedyway now. No.. Carry me through times square after some Disney World Fun!
Jeremiah: FUCK YES!! uhh yes thank you for inviting me. I will go
Matt Hagan: look look at this. Im the best friend i even got her kid named after me
Me: Matt Hagan... Looks like you're invited, The Best Friend. In or out of Disney World for the hotel.
Matt: IN!!
Me: youre definitely going you know how to do it right! Pops... You gonna stay home alone with your woman?
Pops: not if i don't have to
M3: you don't
Pops: shit! Oh yeah!
Chuck: what about Cookie!!
Me: you and bring Your comrades I need to talk to
Chuckie: oh Cookies going!
Me: I didn't know he could do the Conga.
Jesse: yes you did!
Me: no wonder it looked familiar.
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Positive Things about Guardian as a series (spoilers)
So I’ve been pretty harsh about the production team behind Guardian (writers, directors, set designers, wardrobe, the crew…including the extras…basically anyone who are not Bai Yu, Zhu Yilong, the actors who played Old Chu, Little Guo and Zhu Hong, who are Jiang Ming Yang, Xin Peng and Gao Yu Er, respectively) and about the quality of the show as a whole when it doesn’t involve our main characters/leads, and I’ve actually been feeling bad about that now that the initial sense of shock has worn off a little. As a result, I woke up this morning and decided to make a list of all things that are GOOD about the show. Now, I am still hurting about how it ended and the things that went wrong which imho could have easily NOT (f.e. the 10,000 years dirt nap), but…BUT I will try my best NOT to let that negativity seep into this.
So here goes, in no particular order, the positive things about the show:
- the show even exists. I mean, really, God bless, especially considering where it’s made. How did that even happen?? Despite all my bitching, I still marvel (almost DAILY so far) at the fact that Guardian exists and I got to watch it cuz China could’ve easily never put it back online.
- the existence of Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan. But that’s pretty much a given. Especially since my life is forever changed because of them.
- every Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan scene together. That’s a given also. I would not be surprised if the writers literally used all their meager talent and energy on constructing those moments so that’s why they didn’t have much juice left for everything else. I mean, that’s a good thing, right? Kinda.
- they got Bai Yu and Zhu Yilong to play Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei. I really hope the two actors got compensated well for their performances, though somehow I doubt it, especially since, from what I understand ZYL (omg I just stupidly realized the acronym for his name is the same as Zhao Yunlan’s. Wtf that is so cute!) was still very slowly rising in the ranks. But hopefully their current popularity as a result of the show has made up for it.
- the score and songs. Bought the OST from iTunes like one or two episodes in, loved the score and themes. I even bought Bai Yu and Zhu Yilong’s duet “Time of Flight” a few times (different platforms, different devices) cuz I just wanted to contribute to them…even though…who knows if they even see a cent from it, and pretty sure my few measly dollars probably isn’t helping anything. Probably just makes me seem stupid and insane.
- the cute episode titles. Which I wasn’t even aware of until @avenuex123 pointed it out. Adorable.
- the censorship. Ok, censorship is never good imo, but in this singular case, perhaps because there were existing restrictions on the BL subject matter, the actors therefore were willing to sign on since they knew they didn’t have to do anything explicit (or maybe they would’ve been willing, this is just my own stupid assumption because of how Chinese society is…I say that as an Asian American with many…erm…”old-fashioned” friends and family members) AND they probably saw it as challenge to find creative ways to convey the nature of the characters while working within the confines of censorship laws. Although, this might be a case of me just trying to look on the bright side.
- the easter eggs. I agree with fellow Guardian fans who have pointed out that there was some love put into the making of this show, which is clearly exemplified in the small momentos scattered throughout the series.
- the time travel concept. Not that the delve into the past was done well because I did have problems with it, but I did really appreciate the fact that Zhao Yunlan was the one and only all along due to his being sucked up into the wormhole and spit back out 10,000 years in the past to meet Shen Wei for the first time. I thought it was a tremendously romantic idea…even if the general execution of the past left a lot to be desired. I promised that I wouldn’t be negative, but I still have to say that while love at first sight is a lovely notion, it was still a bit hard to swallow that SW would fall SOOOO head over heels with ZYL after just conversing with him for like a few hours, to the point that he would pine for him for 10,000 years (though it’s probably technically more like a few decades due to his dirt nap, but I’ll buy it felt like 10K years to him). I just wish ZYL spent more time in the past with SW, and actually @xparrot‘s fic (”Now Lie In It" on AO3) made me feel a LOT better about the whole thing since they successfully fixed the problem by awesomely separating each scene we saw into days and years. But I did like the time travel idea; it was cool, even though it’s different from the novel.
- the nature of the necklace. I really liked the candy wrapper core. Broke my heart into bits and pieces in a GOOD way. Really loved everything about it. I understand it’s different in the novel as well, but in the context of the changes done for the show, I thought that was a pretty brilliant move.
- the Da Qing and ZYL ownership scene in episode 35 with SW listening. Loved that scene and the multiple purposes it was serving: establishing Da Qing’s relationship with ZYL, giving voice to how SW was feeling about ZYL leaving, inspiring SW with the necklace idea, and then of course, the censorship workaround because it was like very homo while being nohomo at the same time.
- SW and ZYL’s wardrobe. Probably a given since the fact that I love them means I love everything about them, but, like, SW even looked good as the Black Cloak Envoy and ZYL as Kunlun and those outfits (and their hairstyles) could’ve gone wrong so easily…thank God no one thought it was a good idea to make them wear a stupid looking afro wig or feathers on their heads.
- Old Chu/Little Guo. They were adorable, my second OTP from the show, and I was seriously jealous of all the PDA they were getting away with.
- recurring characters. Even though some of their acting abilities were highly questionable, I did appreciate how certain characters introduced in the beginning of the show would pop up again later on. I’m sure a good part of that was to save on hiring more people, but I still thought it was neat. For example, I wasn’t too fond of the merit brush dude (cuz his story was dumb and draggy), but I did like how this innocuous store owner that was little more than a background character at the start eventually became one of the villains.
- Ye Zun. He’s so CUTE. I mean, ok, Zhu Yilong playing him helped, but just seriously, his character is so fucked up and misguided and emo and adorable that I just wanted to give him a big hug all the time. When that shitty cockatoo he calls “Boss”** started smacking him around, I wanted to reach into the screen and throttle that ugly POS. I wouldn’t even be surprised if that asshole more than physically abused Ye Zun. Anyway, I just felt bad for the little puppy. I wish we got to spend more time with him and that he got redeemed earlier so that he could enjoy some love and hugs before being led into the wormhole (or…wherever it was that his big bro was heading off with him…wait, would it be the wormhole? But they died, right? So technically it should be like the reincarnation hole?) **(btw, why “Boss”? Why not “Leader”? Are the head villains paying their henchmen to follow them? So weird that they call their leaders “boss” which would imply they’re being paid wages which I truly doubt is the case)
- Da Qing. He’s a cutie too. Really wish the kitty girl had lived so that he wouldn’t be all alone, now that ZYL is gone. I guess Tech boy Lin Jing is going to take care of him now?
- Zhu Hong. When she wasn’t inexplicably screaming her dialogue, I did like her…but a huge part of that is probably because I remember the actress from Yanxi Palace (she was playing a small villainous role but she did a good job) and I felt sorry for her. Putting the unrequited love aside, it must also be tough seeing ZYL now and yet knowing that’s not even the same guy she loves at all. Damn, that actually must be so unsettling for everyone who knew the old ZYL.
- the personality swap episode (ep 25). THAT was freaking adorable. Just wish it lasted longer and that eventually it affected SW and ZYL. Although, since they already eye-fuck each other like 99% of the time, what would be different? I guess SW would be a little looser…and ZYL would be a bit more sad and pining-er? (Btw, I literally never heard of the word “microexpressions” until Zhu Yilong entered my life). Omg, an image of them switching outfits just popped into my head. Oh shit, that would’ve been FUN to see. Dammit.
That’s all I could come up with for now…I’ll probably add more as I think of more things. Please feel free to contribute if you think of positive things I’ve left out. I might not agree but I’d still love to hear them.
#Guardian#Zhen hun#镇魂#spoilers#Shen Wei#Zhao Yunlan#WeiLan#Shen Wei x Zhao Yunlan#Ye Zun#Chu/Guo#Chu Shu Zhi#Guo Changcheng#Da Qing#Zhu Hong#coping mechanism
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Survey #46
honestly too lazy to muse over song lyrics so hey let’s get into it.
has anyone ever called you sexy? jason did the first time he saw me in a bikini and i blushed like a bitch. do you like raisins? NO what is your favorite bug? butterflies what is your opinion on abortion? lmao do you REALLY want me to get into that one? what is your opinion on gay marriage? it's fine. what is your opinion on gay adoption? also fine, so long as you don't raise said child to think being gay is "normal," like A LOT of people seem to think. now before i get blown up with notes about how "i'm calling being gay bad," NO. normal and bad are two very different things. being gay is a mutation, thus is not normal. but is it bad? no. it irks me when people think that being gay is normal, bc it's not, and a gullible child should not be told differently. do you take pictures of yourself on a daily basis? absolutely not. would you rather freeze or burn to death? burn, only because freezing would be agonizingly slow you've just died, and you're given the choice of reincarnation, being a spirit, or going to heaven/hell, wherever you belong. i wanna go to heaven. have peace. you're in prison. would you think about trying to escape and running away? no. i'd get caught. they always do in the end. you're getting married! where’s your honeymoon? idk tbh. aside from any current relationships, what was your closest relationship ever? me and jason do you give good massages? well. jason has a terrible back so i used to give him massages a lot and they always ended with us making out so lol. when’s the last time you went against your eating habits or religion (ex. eating beef when you’re muslim)? never even if you are not christian or never celebrated christmas, do you think you will raise your (possible future) children to believe in santa clause? why or why not? absolutely!! it's all in good fun and it stimulates the imagination. jason never believed in santa and when i found out, i remember i felt really sad for him. when you have nightmares, do they normally have the same theme (ex. always being killed) or do they just relate to something going on in your life at the moment/random? sigh. they're always about jason rejecting me in one way or another. what type of clothing do you hate to see on (other) women? what type of clothing do you hate to see on (other) men? i do NOT like skanky clothes, ex. shorts that literally show off your ass or shirts with an immense amount of cleavage. i can't stand baggy pants on men. do you believe america should legalize drugs? if you think they should legalize only some drugs, which drugs do you think they should legalize? ... no??? what the fuck's next, legalizing murder bc it would deter murderers??? would you vote a homosexual president into office? why or why not? yes, because why not? what's your most embarrassing sex (or sexual) story? if you haven't had sex, talk about an embarrassing sex story you heard. i've told this before in an old survey: that time i'm pretty damn sure i was about to orgasm but instead i had a panic attack because i didn't understand what i was feeling lmao besides pornography, what is a website you frequent and don't want anyone to know? first let it be known that i don't watch porn. it's disgusting. two, the meerkat role-play site i take part in because i find rp embarrassing to the public eye. would you support marijuana legalization if it were taxed and distributed in a way similar to alcohol? nope what do you most want to improve upon in yourself? not allow my happiness to be dependent on others if you were throwing your significant other / best friend a themed party, what would the theme be? elephants! she loves them! how often do you get fountain drinks from a gas station? like, once a month? who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? hmmm... i'm honestly tied between the mad hatter and the cheshire cat! what's your current boy situation? i'm single, but i just joined a dating site like... yesterday so i guess you could say i'm looking. it's honestly embarrassing to me personally to be on a dating site, but after a month's worth of thought, i decided i think that's what's best for me. gave you ever donated blood? yes. have you ever been to seaworld? yep. what video game should everybody play at least once? "silent hill 2." NO, not because it's my favorite game, but that damn message. it shows that you cannot run from your past and regrets; you instead have to face up to them. what is impossible to understand until it happens to you? mental illnesses what’s a weird thing you are scared of? WHALE SHARKS what is the most enjoyable exercise? biking how much time do you spend putting on makeup daily? i usually don't wear makeup. but if i do, gimme like five minutes have you ever worn faux eyelashes? nope what color is your flash-drive? pink when’s the next time you’ll change your hairstyle and will you color it? hairstyle will remain the same, gotta get the layers trimmed tho. i'm getting galaxy hair after my red fades!! has anyone ever called you fake and do you agree with them? no. do you make an effort to talk to all of your facebook friends, or are there certain people that you talk to the most? nope. i mean i'll "like" some of their statuses and whatnot, but i don't talk to most of them anymore. do you hate your weight? very much so. what kind of mood are you in atm? is someone else responsible for that mood? i'm anxious to do something, and no. who was the last person that asked to hang out with you? tell me the story of how you met that person, everything you remember. colleen asked to hang out a couple days back, spent the night two days. :D i met her in girl scouts, but i barely remember back then. we really bonded in middle school. if you knew that one of your friends was considering suicide, what would you say to them? it really depends on their situation.0 have you ever worn colored mascara? if not, would you ever think about trying it? and if you have, what is / was your favorite color to wear? ohhh, i haven't, but that'd be cool! who was the last person to pay you a compliment? my dentist. she liked my hair. what color is your purse/wallet? my purse is maroon and black. my wallet is red, black, and white. it's got a harley quinn design on it. before facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site, like bebo or myspace? i had myspace. which disney princess do you think is the most beautiful? why? uhhh... aesthetically... i guess belle, maybe? or jasmine? if i’m going to buy you a box of chocolates, which kind should I definitely NOT get? DO NOT GET ME THE KINDS WITH FILLING OTHER THAN CHOCOLATE ITSELF OMG if you met the celebrity that you most admire, what would be the first thing you’d say to him/her? "thank you for saving my life" when you’re going to be at home all day, do you bother to get out of your pajamas? nope. given the choice, would you rather drink juice or soda? soda. i'm aware that's terrible, lol. how many piercings do you have? are there any more that you want? i have two in each earlobe, my tragus, my cartilage, and my nose done. i want a labret lip piercing and the snake eyes tongue piercing, as well as more on my ears. do you play angry birds? no. i recently watched the movie with friends tho, and it's so cute! do you tend to get hungry late at night? YEAH has anyone ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend with you? yeah. we didn't actually date, but it was serious flirting, and i consider that cheating. do you blow dry your hair? NO NO NO YOU NEVER WANT TO BLOW DRY MY HAIR. it's thick af and will literally take you 10+ minutes to get completely dry. if you’ve ever had and quit a job, did you actually call in and quit or put in your two weeks notice or did you just stop showing up? at my first job, i talked face-to-face with the manager and didn't show up after i quit. at my second job, i texted my boss and didn't show up after that. do you tend to baby or take care of the people you date, or do you tend to date alpha types that take care of you? ehhh, both? like i think it's in MOST females' nature to be motherly, and i was like that with my ex, but my ex definitely cared for me, too. how would you feel if the person you were interested in refused to perform oral sex on you? i wouldn't mind. i find oral gross, anyway. when you get upset do you have any physical reactions, like prickles in your spine or your knees going weak? my head gets this weird tingling sensation. do you ever “facebook stalk” or go through facebook albums of attractive boys/girls that you have mutual friends with (but haven’t met in person)? do you ever add them? nope. hypothetically speaking, if you ever give birth to a son, would you have him circumcised? yes, in interest of his health. which of your facebook friends posts the most annoying/irritating/enraging facebook posts? what do they post? oh my GOSH, a friend i met at the hospital, whom i won't name for her privacy. she's BEYOND pro-choice, bashes EVERYONE who disagrees with her, posts a billion rants a day, and is just... very shallow in what she shares. is there something that a person can do and watching them do it makes you quite a bit attracted to them for it (e.g., watching someone play guitar, watching a someone work on a car, etc.)? many things, yeah, like the two you listed, but more. what accent do you find most difficult to understand? southern, but only when it's VERY heavy. what movie never fails to make you cry? "the notebook" do you like 3d movies? sure have you ever practiced kissing on a stuffed animal? nope do you let music move your body, or do you hold back? i always hold back why is your favorite store your favorite? i find their clothes aesthetically pleasing can you handle the stress of working in food/customer service? NONONONONO what kind of place would you want to raise your children? idk, the same state i was raised in, i guess. would you let your child have a pet? depends on their age, really. if i think they're mature enough to care for it themselves, yes. do you enjoy talking to people over webcam? NO CAN YOU SAY AWKWARD would you rather die or eat another human being? die. how would you react if a doctor told you that you were infertile? i'd be... pretty devastated. i want kids, but at the same time, i'm so scared to have another life under my supervision. idk. do you like meatball subs? sure. have you been baptized in any religious tradition? yep. what is your favorite meal of the day? breakfast what season were you born in? winter what’s your favorite breed of dog? idk, i like akita inus, chow-chows, beagles... do you use twitter? nope are you a good babysitter? not particularly. i'm awkward with kids. how old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? sigh. he'll be 23 in two days. what’s the relationship with you and the last person you kissed? we're nothing but strangers now. has anyone ever told you they were in love with you? he was apparently full of shit.
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Omfg “talk about” is a lot cuter than ask me
Nabbed from @qookyquiche
1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie. I saw a trailer for it ages ago and I didn’t know what it was, so I decided to sit down and [watch it legally online] and I fell in love with it. Secret of Kells is a damn treasure.
2: Talk about your first kiss. Never had one.
3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for. Oh man. If we’re talking legitimate romance than I she was my coworker and eventual employee, but I knew her for a solid three years but never could or just never did ask about her. We got along so great and had so many shared interests. She always talked about her boyfriend and how she bagged on him for caring more about himself and his school than a girlfriend, which would be fine, but he literally had no time for her and it hurt to hear.
4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far. Leaving Minneapolis completely when my dad died.
5: Talk about the best birthday you’ve had. Didny Worl
6: Talk about the worst birthday you’ve had. The one where my cat died, my dog died, or my Grandma died?
7: Talk about your biggest insecurity. I just want everyone to like me or like the person I am. If somebody doesn’t like me I’d like to figure out why.
8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of. I wrote the first draft of a novel.
9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most. My hair. My feet.
10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had. My mom and I really got into it one time after she stole from me due to her gambling addiction than tried to kill herself (she didn’t succeed and that was years ago). Pretty sure we didn’t talk for a few days after that despite being in the same house.
11: Talk about the best dream you’ve ever had. My Grandma had died fairly recently and I had this dream where my family and I were at a mall and my Grandma came down an escalator wearing this beautiful flowing white dress. My family and I ran towards her and we all just smiled and had a good time for how little the dream lasted.
12: Talk about the worst dream you’ve ever had. Couldn’t tell you for sure but I was in bed, might’ve had sleep paralysis, but this weird creature just kinda came down from the ceiling and jumped on me. Woke up gasping. Woke my sister up in the room next door.
13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time. This is weird. I guess we’re--I’d rather not. I wouldn’t know where to start.
14: Talk about a vacation. Went to the Mississippi for one of my birthdays. Stayed in a nice cabin and had a great time with my family. Went fishing a couple days, went to a mine where we were early but the guys let us come upstairs and hang around for a bit until they were ready. They gave us soda which for a kid as young as me made them instantly cool. The mine itself was awesome. I got a nice science book for my birthday that I fell in love with. I got hay fever in the middle but all in all I had a great time.
15: Talk about the time you were most content in life. Late 2011 to Early 2012. I’ve talked about it extensively but as part of the brony fandom I felt like I had found my place. I was making consistent (albeit shitty) raps, consistent (albeit shitty) stories, I was on top of the world as a mod for Mic, I felt like I could do no wrong. I didn’t have a job and stayed up until 3 AM almost everyday, sometimes later depending on the day or just if I forget to sleep or not. I even modded the stream for the January BronyCon and Alex S’ debut of “We Only Got One Life to Live” was the absolute peak moment for me.
16: Talk about the best party you’ve ever been to. I have literally never been to a party.
17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with. He’s a guy who isn’t afraid to tell you what he thinks even if he’s a fucking prick about it, but the guy is genuinely nice and wants to help you out if he trusts you. He’s a guy where I can’t tell if he likes me or not depending on the week.
18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school. Pokemon craze went wild and I had two friends that I absolutely adored and were totally into it. Almost everything we did was Pokemon related.
19: Talk about something that happened in middle school. Fuck middle school. With a fucking passion. Worst time of my life. Fuck it. Hope it burns down.
20: Talk about something that happened in high school. I looked like McLovin a lot as a freshman and as the movie had just came out, I was called that a lot. I just accepted it and rode that shit to the end. I was like by a lot of people but it still felt fake at times.
21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down. I was in middle school. I was randomly asked by this person I don’t know. I guess we dated for like half a day but we never spoke to each other at all before or after.
22: Talk about your worst fear. I’ll be completely alone with nothing to go for me and it’ll be all my fault.
23: Talk about a time someone turned you down. Never asked anybody despite somebody apparently liking me since elementary school, even though it was obvious I liked her but apparently she didn’t want to ask?
24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot. A lot of the quotes I remember are shit I make up.
25: Talk about an ex-best friend. He was my best friend since middle school. I hung out at his house a lot but a lot of the time his “jokes” were pretty fucking rude and could border on sexual harassment, but since this was middle school, he was the only friend I basically had so I had to deal with him. It all came to ahead during high school when he brought along a guy who was really cool but kind of a tool, a guy who was a fucking prick but tried to hide behind the fact that he was uber fat, and a fucker who wouldn’t stop farting on you and used it as a joke while putting you down. The latter tried to fart on me again and I had enough so I grabbed the guy’s shirt and ripped it. Everybody blamed me (except for the first guy), of course, despite everything just kind of coming ahead. My “best friend”’s Dad kicked us out and sent us all home. My “best friend” dedicated a song on his CD in the car ride home to him and offered him a shirt. We dicked around in an Aegon parking lot near my house and they took my shoes, threatening to throw them in a nearby creek until a cop stopped us.
I saw my “best friend” later on when he invited me out, but because at this point I was much more confident and accepting of myself and he was still the same old dick, we didn’t do a whole lot before he took me back home. Apparently he’s doing better now? I don’t care.
26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick. Try to do not a goddamn thing but power through on my computer. Drink water and take pills.
27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body. Eyes or their face.
28: Talk about your fetishes. Skirts are my true weakness. Clothed.
29: Talk about what turns you on. Skirts, again.
30: Talk about what turns you off. If somebody’s clearly not into something.
31: Talk about what you think death is like. Either we repeat the cycle with the same damn things forever, not remembering the previous life, things change in the next cycle, or we’re reincarnated as something or someone else.
32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood. We used to live in an old office building turned into a house across the street from a church. I learned to ride my bike in their parking lot and we used to play with a ball in a back part as well as on their playground.
33: Talk about what you do when you are sad. I shut myself in and try not to let anybody know I’m not happy. A lot of people who know me still know though.
34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured. I broke my pinky on one of those rolling fences (because why not, it looked fun). My pinky nail was shoved in my hand while the ring finger and middle finger was just removed completely.
35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing. Being so hard on myself all the fucking time. Taking everything to heart. Saying the wrong shit at the wrong time. Stuttering all the fucking time. Knowing what to do and when to do it.
36: Talk about your guilty pleasures. I don’t believe in guilty pleasures, but I guess all the animation I watch. It’s fine to talk about here, but to do it with the people I hang out with is generally impossible.
37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with. This girl at work who I thought I liked but turned out to be somebody who loves to gossip and won’t stop bitching about people on the job.
38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people. Nah
39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier. How to be confident and not take too much shit. Or to stop crying at stupid times.
40: Talk about the end of something in your life. The last time I had a serious and legitimate connection with one of my cousins was ages ago. The last time we spoke we basically agreed that we didn’t like who we were at that time. Now she has a fiance (probably at this point, it took him long enough) and is a common horse wrangler, something she loves, and I’m much more conversational and relax.
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