#she hates 6th graders because they spread rumors about her fucked up parents

[thedoormann]

Why do you lead everyone to believe you’re a boy?

I’m replaying the game if you haven’t noticed. Here’s my second new kid. [first] She’s mysterious and gay for Call Girl.

[justc4llm3murphy]

"Children can't be evil"

Someone once told me that after I finished saying that it was in middle school that I saw how evil children can be. I looked at them and mentally rolled my eyes. Here is my story:

I was in middle school, 6th grade to be exact. Given my undiagnosed ADHD, I often had problems making friends and mostly kept to myself. Then I developed a friendship with this girl in my class who also didn't have many friends. Almost immediately, the drama started. Apparently, I had befriended the only open lesbian kid and she was a pariah. She had a crush on one of the popular assholes though for the life of me, I can't figure out why. This person took such umbrage at the crush that she became the main tormentor. She was bullied so intensely that she started cutting. One time she cut her crush's name into her arm. Any time there was an issue with others bullying her, the school made it her fault. She got suspended a ton. Since I was her friend, I was the second most hated person and rumors started going around that I was a lesbian myself.

As a sixth grader, this was difficult. I got called to the principal's office for merely being her friend. I went to the guidance counselor's office for support. The bullying for me was relentless, for her it was all consuming. My parents told me I had to stop being her friend because she was a bad kid and had me get called to the principal's office (which had never ever happened before) but I refused. A quiet defiance in an awful situation.

My friend attempted to kill herself that year. More than once. She was admitted to a psych facility more than once for her suicide attempts. Eventually, the school told her they wouldn't allow her back to school. Keep in mind, this girl was hurting and bullied at all times, and the school's reaction was that she was the problem.

I was tired of going home crying. I was tired of being hated for no reason. And when my friend was gone, I realized that the bullying eased up and almost stopped completely. This would start up again when my friend returned.

When my friend, did leave school, I did something I consider one of the worst things I have done to anyone. I cut off contact. She tried contacting me multiple times and I finally told her I didn't want to be friends anymore. She was understanding. She was a kind person and thought it was all her fault. It wasn't. It was the bullies' fault. It was mine for only wanting to fit in. Granted I had emotional abuse at home and bullying at school so I saw no break in the emotional stress but I still consider what I did awful.

7th grade was good. My friend was gone and so I made new friends. Bullies didn't bother me any more but I never forgave them. In 8th grade, my friend returned and I had no idea how to handle that.

It wasn't until I watched a documentary on MTV that I felt like God was speaking to me. This particular documentary was about hate crimes. In it, they addressed the horrific murder of Matthew Shepherd, who was murdered for being homosexual. That was horrible enough. Then, it addressed the aftermath. On the third anniversary of Matthew Shepherd's death, there was protest of some sort. And someone was holding a sign up that said "Matthew Shepherd in hell for 3 years, thank God Almighty." I was disgusted and sobbing at tragedy and senselessness of it all. And at that moment, I swear I heard God say "why are you upset about this when this is happening in your own school and you aren't helping?"

The next day, I feel turmoil within me as I debated going to the guidance counselor to set up a meeting with my old friend. I was scared. I was scared to relive everything again but I was also scared my friend would hate me and not accept the apologies I so desperately wanted to give. Eventually, I made my way up to the front of the classroom to get permission and trudged to the counselor's office.

This year, the bullying for my friend was worse. She had transitioned to a male, and lived as a male. She answered to her female name and never referred to herself with a male pronoun and I was too naive at this point to think of changing the pronoun...so I will call her "she" in this narrative as I have always done but I recognize that she may now go by male pronouns at this point in her journey. Well, the kids freaked out and the bullying intensified.

I sat down with the counselor and asked her to set up a meeting. My counselor immediately started to praise me for my thoughtfulness and being a good friend, which only increased my guilt and sadness over how I had behaved. She stated that my friend ate in in-school suspension to avoid her bullies and I could eat with her anytime I wanted. So I did.

I walked into in-school suspension and sat down and started to talk and apologize to my friend. She immediately took the blame onto herself. She had done nothing wrong but she was so beaten down that she couldn't see it. I felt the worst yet when she did that. But I couldn't get her to admit that I had simply been a bad friend.

When lunch wrapped up, we had to leave before the bell rang because she had such a huge fear of crowds now. When she did walk down the halls with other students, they would circle around her as she walked and taunt her and insult her. It was almost how I think Hester Prynne walked around her village in The Scarlet Letter. The hate was palpable. She could not even go into the cafeteria, even nearer to the end of the school year and things had died down some, she couldn't do it. The bullies took my friend and had broken her.

This fear invaded her life and cost her at least one job because even a tiny amount of people could be far too much for her anxiety. And they didn't care. But this time, when the bullies came calling me lesbian and spreading rumors that I was in a relationship with her, I had a backbone. These people were not good people in my mind. And I had lost all the fucks I had to give. If me telling them off didn't succeed in getting them to leave me alone, my very intimidating and scary ex boyfriend at the time would handle it. He never hurt them but I am sure he would have if they persisted...and the bullies were sure of that too.😉

The last time I saw my friend was several years ago, still living as a male, walking through the mall and appearing at ease. That was really nice and gave me hope that he was now much more mentally stable.

But yes, kids can be evil. Standing up for others needs to start young so that people understand that hate will not be accepted, even at a young age.