#she hasn’t done it since and I think that was one of the last issues I’ve had with my parent about it

[ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes]

I just watched some of the new Bridgerton and I did not expect to see a scene so close to one I (an aroace person) had had with my mom

[readwritealldayallnight]

(part of the ‘Wife at First Sight Series’)

For the first time in a long time, Simon feels as if he’s walking on eggshells

He’s 6’4”, easily over 200 pounds of bulking muscle, strikes fear into the heart of each and every enemy he comes across (should they live to tell the tale that is), and yet he feels as though he’s tiptoeing, practically dancing around the issue he refuses to address

Yet you make him feel this way

It’s been months now, of this dance you still haven’t realized you’re apart of, shining on centre stage under the constant spotlight of Simon Riley’s attention, rather than one of the background performers as you seem to believe

He feels as though he’s done everything he can to get the point across to you, other than literally getting down on one knee and asking you those four special words he can’t seem to get himself to speak out loud

As easy as it is to pretend you two truly are husband and wife ‘til death do you part, he’s instead having to watch you leave base in exchange for your lonely flat each night, reminded of the fact that he’s not ballsy enough to just come out and say it to you

You make the Lieutenant nervous for fucks sake, something he hasn’t truly felt in so long he’s grasping for straws, searching for a life raft in these uncharted waters to help him stay afloat

That’s part of why he’s so confused when Gaz finally joins him and Soap in the gun range, landing a friendly smack across the taller man’s broad shoulders, saying something about how he’s ‘really happy for you LT, finally properly asked her, aye?’

“What are you goin’ on about?” Ghost practically grunts out, readjusting the weapon against his shoulder as he glances through the scope of his gun, only partly interested in what the Sergeants answer is, that is until he hears him mention your name

“Just saw her at her desk, talkin’ about how she has a wedding this weekend-” Gaz has barely finished his sentence before Ghost is whipping his skull clad head around, shoving his weapon into Soap’s arms, and beelining out of the armoury towards you, leaving a pair of chuckling Sergeants behind him

They’ve never seen their Lieutenant so whipped before. And the fact that you don’t even know you have this beast of a man wrapped around your dainty little finger makes it all the more entertaining for them

They totally haven’t taken bets on how long it takes for him to break and finally confess his feelings, and Price definitely didn’t put money down on it either

Ghost may as well float into the room on a cloud he’s feeling so overjoyed at the idea of finding you sat at your desk all pretty, chit chatting away with colleagues about the wedding you’ve finally realized he intends to give you, taking all the pressure off of him

Instead, he rounds the corner and overhears the last tidbits of your conversation, pretending as though his stomach doesn’t drop out of him and onto the floor when he realizes you’re telling your desk mate about your sisters wedding this weekend

He should’ve know better, it wouldn’t be that easy

“-not that I’m embarrassed to go without someone. That I don’t care so much about.” He hears you explain, failing to have noticed him behind you quite yet. “God knows it’s been ages since I’ve gone on an actual date anyways. But this is the first time I’m a bridesmaid, and my sister keeps saying I’m apparently the only bridesmaid without a date-”

“Well aren’t you going to bring your husband?” Your colleague asks, cutting you off. Just like everyone else on base, she knows thinks you are in fact Mrs Riley, for all intents and purposes. You open your mouth to correct her and tell her you don’t have a husband, when a deep voice comes up behind you and speaks first.

“‘Course she is.” Ghost replies for you, coming to stand behind you in your chair, sneaking a gloved hand onto your shoulder to offer a slight squeeze of acknowledgment. You lean your head back to glance up at him, offering a soft smile that melts his heart more and more each time he’s lucky enough to see it, to be the reason for it. Sensing she’s now the odd one out, your coworker quietly excuses herself and goes to find someone else to talk water cooler gossip with.

“Oh Ghost! Hi!” You say, reaching your own hand up to squeeze his in return, smile widening when you notice the crinkles next to his eyes that you hope mean he’s smiling as well under the mask. “Oh, you really don’t have to. I mean- I wouldn’t want you to waste a day off just to sit through a stranger’s wedding for who knows how many hours. I barely want to go.”

You try to joke about it, but this really has been causing you unnecessary stress. Your sister apparently doesn’t have enough wedding planning on her plate as it is, seeing as she has enough time to constantly pester you about whether you’ve secured a date yet or not, despite your answer always being no. She knows it’s been forever since you’ve dated anyone seriously, and that finding a date will be more of a chore than showing up without one and enduring your relative comments and questions.

Each time you told her no though, your mind wandered to the tall, dark, muscular man who liked to call himself your husband, imagining the looks on your family’s face if you were to show up with Ghost on your arm. But you never bothered to ask him, not wanting to force him into extending his kindness and charade of a happily married couple outside of work hours.

“I’d be with you for those ‘who knows how many hours?’” Ghost asks, quoting you, watching as you offer him a simple nod in return. “Then that’s the farthest thing from a waste o’ time in my books, love.”

As simple as that, the plan was set. Ghost would be your date to the wedding that weekend.

Now, Ghost was used to not having very much to look forward to in life. He could look forward to a hot shower occasionally, look forward to good pub food instead of mess hall dinners, look forward to a chance to sleep in a little later, simpler things of the sort.

But when you came into his life, he was suddenly looking forward to equally simple, but different things. He looked forward to reading your cute replies to his good morning and good night texts (he still never misses a single one, all these months later), looked forward to seeing your sweet smile greeting him when you arrived to work, looked forward to hearing your pleased hum when you took your first sip of whatever drink he prepared you that day. Essentially, he looked forward to seeing you.

Now though, he feels as if this weekend cannot come soon enough, finding himself practically giddy he’s looking forward to spending more time with you off base so much, feeling like a kid who’s itching to get their hands on their new Christmas gifts.

When he arrives at your flat almost a half hour too early (he just couldn’t wait anymore lovie, you can’t blame the poor man), and you open the door to greet him, he doesn’t think it’s fair to compare this to a gift under the Christmas tree.

No. It’s more like he’s won the goddamn lottery.

Standing before him, is the most beautiful, breathtaking vision he’s ever laid eyes upon in all his years. He half wonders if his knees are legitimately beginning to wobble where he stands, he feels so weak in the knees as he gazes upon you in your doorway. It’s still just you, the same woman he’s been seeing every day and dreaming of each night.

But you don’t look like you have every day these past months. Your hair is styled differently, your make up is a little more done up, and the thing that’s really got his mind reeling, is that instead of your regular work attire, you’re wearing a dress so stunning he half wonders whether or not you are the bride this evening. There’s no possible way someone so beautiful is expected to stand on the sidelines tonight, expected to be anyone apart from the star of the show, the centre of his the world.

You don’t take much notice of the way Ghost fails to greet you properly, standing outside your door and practically gawking at you, seeing as you’re preoccupied doing the same to him. His usual fatigues and black everything have been swapped out for black dress pants, a white button up shirt (your eyes definitely do not linger on the top three buttons being left undone, nope, not at all) and a black blazer, matching black surgical mask in exchange for the typical skeleton mask.

You two blushing, bumbling idiots in secret love manage to pull yourselves together enough to make the drive up to the venue, the car ride filled with laughter, stories, and too many stolen glances to count, each of you wishing you could pull the car over somewhere and jump each others bones instead.

At the venue, you go through the obligatory introductions with your family, simply so they couldn’t say you didn’t say hello at least once throughout the busy night, only partially intent on ignoring them later on. They’re left understandably stunned at the mention that the man beside you is your husband, and when your family members begin unloading question after question, the two of you manage to find a quick excuse each time to dash off, giggling and holding onto the other as you weave the growing crowd of guests, all too proud of your little inside joke.

You regretfully tell him that you’ll have to leave him to sit alone throughout the ceremony, though he insists you shouldn’t worry about it, lifting your spirits momentarily when he jokes that you should focus more on not tripping during your walk down the aisle, before the both of you are left bright red in the face at hearing him talking about you walking down an aisle, as if you don’t pretend to be married every day to begin with.

He truly doesn’t mind having to sit on the tiny foldable chairs that make up the seating for the ceremony, it’s only a small portion of the evening after all. And besides, his eyes certainly aren’t on the couple reciting their vows up at the altar. No, his gaze is on one person and one person only. From the moment the music kicked in and pairs of bridesmaids and groomsmen stepped out to walk the aisle in their matching attire and matching smiles, his eyes have been locked on you, just as yours have been locked on his.

His size certainly helped you pick him out of the crowd with more ease, finding him amongst the familiar and unfamiliar faces instantly, as though gravity was pulling your gaze in his direction alone. Later on, neither of you could even correctly point out amongst the groomsmen whose arm you were holding on to as you walked, attention only focused on each other.

Even as you stood up front, listening to your sister and new brother in law profess their love for the other, you tried your best to appear as though you were paying them your full attention, considering you were standing up at the front and all. But it was as though you could literally feel Ghost’s eyes on you the entire ceremony, unable to stop your eyes from straying towards him more times than was surely appropriate, feeling the heat of a blush creep over your cheeks every time you saw how devastatingly handsome he was today.

By the time the newlyweds are marching back down the aisle past their cheering loved ones, wedding party in tow, your eyes are no longer pretending to look anywhere other than at him. And Simon is looking back at you, but his mind is growing preoccupied, thinking of how he can finally ensure you’ll let him walk you down the aisle now.

Because in the glove compartment of the very car he drove you up here in, only inches away from your knees the entire drive, he’s tucked away a small little box, containing the exact ring you chose from the jeweller all those weeks ago. He carries it with him everywhere, eager for the moment, the opportunity to be lucky enough to truly call himself your husband and slip the band over your finger as his wife.

And he’s decided that tonight is the night he tells you.

The night he tells you this has never been a joke to him, never been anything apart from what he really wants to be true from the moment he saw you.

To call you his wife.

[howcouldmuffin]

Dreaming.

You know that falling in love makes you feel like a fool, but what if it’s him?

PAIRING : Jacearys Velaryon x Fem!Reader

WARNING : SFW, Targaryen incest, Non-canon

AN : I was inspired by the song “Kingston” by Faye Webster. Her music is amazing, and the way she describes falling in love is so lovely to me. Although it may not perfectly match the song, I hope you like it.

please be kind to me English is not my first language.

Everyone in Westeros is aware of the long-standing conflict between the Greens and the Blacks. The king is well aware of this issue too, but he hasn’t been able to resolve it, so the problem continues to persist.

You know the Velaryon siblings very well, having grown up under the same roof as them. While your mother’s influence might have made many think that you were not close, children often don’t see things the same way as adults. They, along with your siblings, were raised to constantly compete with each other, enemies by birth. But after they moved to Dragonstone, everything seemed to calm down.

As the years passed, you grew into a princess of great honor, more graceful than anyone in the Seven Kingdoms. You possess every desirable quality, and people often compare you to a combination of Visenya and Rhaenys in a single woman. Such praise could easily lead to vanity, but you know well that these words are nothing more than the desires of those who speak them.

“I’ve heard that Rhaenyra has arrived.” you say as you open the door to Helaena’s chamber. “Will you join me? Mother is likely busy in the small council.” She is preoccupied with your nieces and nephews, and at their age, they are quite a handful.

“I’m sorry, but my children are being quite a handful right now.” she says, confirming the scene before you. The children are getting ready for their bath, and it looks like it will take a while. You decide to help your sister manage her lively brood.

“Who here is being a good child?” you ask as you lift up one of the boys. “Is it you, Jaehaerys, or is it you, Jaehaera?” The children are usually well-behaved around you, and they listen to you quite obediently.

“I am!” the boy answers.

“Well, good children don’t make their mother tired, okay? That goes for you too, young lady.” Both nod in agreement and follow their maid to go take their bath.

“Thank you so much, sister.” Helaena says as she walks over to you. “It would have been even more chaotic without you.”

“You’re welcome, but I should be going now.” you reply, kissing her cheek before leaving the room and making your way down the corridors of the Red Keep.

The decorations here have likely changed since your eldest sister last saw them. Religious symbols now adorn the walls of the building. At times, you don’t agree with what your mother has done, filling the place with the beliefs of your family’s old traditions.

“Your Grace.” you curtsy to the pair as you approach.

“I apologize for not being there to welcome you. I only just heard that you arrived, and Mother is likely preoccupied with the small council meeting,” you explain. Rhaenyra immediately embraces you. Despite your mother’s dislike for her, you are not your mother. Her attempts to separate you have no effect if you refuse to adopt her views.

“I have already received a warm welcome from you.” Rhaenyra smiles as she releases you from her embrace and takes your hand.

“Only from you, niece.” Daemon adds.

“You must be tired from your journey. I think you should rest first.” you suggest.

“My husband and I will visit Father first.” she responds. “and I have someone I want you to meet.” She lifts up a young Targaryen boy while another child is carried by a maid.

“This is Aegon, and this is Viserys.”

“So these are my nephews, my little princes.” you say, taking Viserys from the maid. “They have grown so well.” Both boys have the silvery-golden hair of dragons and possess the regal presence of true princes of Westeros.

“Jace and Luke mentioned they would be heading to the practice yard if you wish to see them.” she adds. Your dear nephews, you wonder how much they’ve grown. You hand Viserys back to the maid after kissing his cheek, then turn to your sister.

“In that case, I’ll take my leave, Your Grace.” They both nod in acknowledgment.

You leave the area and head straight to the practice yard. You and Jacaerys are the same age, while Lucerys is a year younger than you. You Daeron and Jacaerys were all nursed by the same wet nurse, which is why you and your twin brother are closer to them than to others in the family.

After a short walk, you find the stairs leading to the training yard. You catch a glimpse of your brother Aemond, who is also there. Over the years, you have tried to encourage him to let go of his grudge, knowing that he once experienced the same mistreatment as our nephews. You hope he may have come to some understanding.

“Welcome, dear nephews.” you say as Jace and Luke turn to see you, their faces showing a mix of nostalgia as they remember the place where they once lived.

They have grown so much, the boys you once knew have become handsome young men, true princes. As soon as they see you, they rush to embrace you, and you return the gesture. They are still as endearing as ever.

“How was your journey?” you ask them.

As you pull away from the hug, you notice how their handsomeness has only increased. Jacaerys, in particular, possesses a beauty that seems straight out of the fairytales you once read. Your heart races, pounding in your chest.

“It went smoothly.” Jace replies. “You’ve grown so much.”

“And even more beautiful.” Luke adds, making you all laugh together. The moment brings back memories of when you were all young and oblivious to the complexities of the world.

“I wish you the best in the judgment, Luke.” you say, taking your younger nephew’s hand. “I will speak with my mother and my grandfather on your behalf.”

“Thank you so much, Princess.” he smiles back at you.

“It seems there’s a family gathering I wasn’t invited to.” your brother Aemond’s raspy voice breaks in. He walks over, and you notice Lucerys’s discomfort. To prevent any tension, you step in front of him, silently urging Aemond not to start anything.

“Are you here to train, nephews?” Aemond asks.

Before anyone can respond, Vaemond Velaryon, another claimant to Driftmark, appears. His presence is intimidating, and he seems to harbor little fondness for your two nephews. You silently pray that the gods favor your nephews over him.

“I apologize for being late, Your Grace.” you said, curtsying before taking your seat. Before dinner, you had so many things on your mind that you lost track of time in the bath, and by the time Nora came to fetch you, it was already late.

“A princess should know the importance of being punctual.” Alicent scolded you.

“It’s alright. Children always have many things on their minds.” your father said. “Go ahead, take your seat.” You nodded at your father and made your way to the empty seat beside Aemond. Helaena smiled at you, and you noticed Jacaerys watching you as well. He had been the reason you had been thinking about him all day.

“This is an occasion for celebration, it seems.” Viserys continued. “I announce here that my youngest daughter will marry my grandson, Jace. I have made my decision, and I ask you all to accept it.” Your father's declaration left the entire room in silence, including you.

You could hardly believe what you had just heard. You looked over at Jacaerys, who was already looking at you. Although you felt a small twinge of joy, the suddenness of the announcement left you stunned. Your mother's displeasure was immediately evident on her face. Viserys slowly stood and shared his thoughts.

People began to rise and speak, but you couldn’t focus on anything else. You were at a loss for words, unsure of how to feel.

“Sister.” your brother called. “Congratulations on your engagement.” Aemond spoke with a hint of amusement, knowing well that you never saw yourself ending up as a wife solely meant to bear children. But if it was Jacaerys...

“How should I feel?” you asked him.

“Be happy, at least he’s not like our eldest brother, sister.” he replied, surprising you. You expected him to mock or tease you, but instead, he offered you encouragement.

“Do you not resent them anymore?”

“I promised you before they arrived that I wouldn’t do anything to stir up trouble between us.” he replied. “I’m trying.” You raised your glass to toast to your brother's words, appreciating his sincerity.

The music played beautifully, and your mother seemed to have composed herself, while others engaged in lively conversation with those seated around them. Before long, Jacaerys stood and invited Helaena to dance with him. You felt a pang of envy as you watched them together—wasn’t he your betrothed?

“Has Daeron sent any news?” your brother beside you asked.

“He’s been training as usual, more diligently than ever.” you replied. “He asked me to thank you for the new book you sent him.” Although you were speaking to your brother, your eyes remained fixed on your newly betrothed. He was handsome, and the sudden betrothal your father had arranged had left your mind unsettled.

“Are you jealous?” your brother interrupted again. “Shall we dance together like they are?”

Your brother had been acting strange lately, starting from yesterday, today, and even now. Although he had promised, his behavior was beyond what you had expected.

“What do you want, brother?” you asked him seriously. “Are you planning to use me as a tool to hurt them?”

“You’re overthinking, sister.” he replied. “Wouldn’t it be better if I were to make friends with another heir to the Iron Throne?”

“Let’s hope that’s true.” you said, offering him your hand. “Don’t leave me behind. My feet are sore.”

The dinner proceeded smoothly, with everyone seeming to be one big happy family. You hoped this friendship would endure and not be shattered.

You closed the door to your room and hurried over to your writing desk. There were so many things from today that you wanted to record and reflect upon. You thought about the conversation you had with Jace today, your heart pounding at the memory. You hoped he hadn’t noticed. Your face had flushed, and you couldn’t meet his eyes. You knew what this feeling was—you were falling in love with him. How could it be so simple?

Should you write to your twin about this? What advice would he give you? Or perhaps you should share this with Helaena, though she was likely busy with your nieces and nephews. In the end, you decided to jot it down in your personal journal, a simple and safe choice.

After trying to fall asleep in the darkness of your room, you realized it was no use. You couldn’t sleep. Perhaps a walk, like you often did, would help calm your thoughts. Before you knew it, you found yourself in the corridors of the Red Keep. The moon tonight was beautiful, and you stopped to gaze at it from a window, its light bright and close.

“Princess.” Jacaerys' voice startled you, nearly causing you to gasp out loud.

“Prince.” you curtsied, and he bowed in return.

“Are you unable to sleep?” he asked.

“Yes, I couldn’t sleep.”

“You must be worried about our betrothal.” he replied. “I swear on my honor, I will not dishonor you, Princess.”

“I will do the same.” you replied. The two of you stood there, looking at each other, and you found yourself at a loss for words. If it had been anyone else, you would have no trouble striking up a conversation, but with him, you were suddenly too anxious.

“I think we should both return to our rooms, Princess.” he said finally. “If you don’t mind, I’ll escort you back.” You nodded in agreement, and as you led the way, he followed at a slow pace.

When you reached your door, you realized it was time to bid him goodnight. You stopped, turned to face him, and gathered the courage to meet his gaze. His eyes were so beautiful, and you wondered if he could see how red your face was.

“Goodnight, my Prince.”

“Goodnight.” He remained where he stood, not turning to leave. You opened the door to your room and closed it slowly. He would leave after you shut the door, you assumed. Your hand clutched at your chest, feeling your heart hammering as if it would burst out of your body. Your hands were trembling. This must be the beginning of that foolishness you had always heard about.

You were overjoyed when your sister said she would be staying here longer. It meant you could spend more time getting to know your betrothed and spending time with him. The activities you often did alone now had him joining you. You talked about matters of the kingdom, the families allied with yours, the histories of different dragons, or even trivial things.

For you, it was wonderful to spend time with him. There were days when the two of you talked until you fell asleep together. When your mother found out about this, she scolded you intensely, speaking about propriety and how others might perceive it. You were confined to your room for an entire week.

But Jacearys surprised you with the secret passage in your room. You wondered if there were passages like this all over the castle. He used that secret passage to visit you while you were locked in your room. You thought about how much effort he must have put in just to talk to you, and it made you think about him even more, falling in love with him all over again.

“So, how was practice today?” you asked him. “Did Ser Criston bother you again?” You were lying on the bed reading a book while he leaned against the headboard, staring at you.

“He seems to have stopped. Aemond kept him away from us.” he replied. You knew well that Criston didn’t seem to like Rhaenyra or her children, but it wasn’t good to pass that dislike onto others.

You closed your book and slowly sat up, crawling to sit beside him. Jace shifted slightly to give you more room. You rested your head on his shoulder, holding hands. One of his arms draped over your shoulder. Life here must have been hard for him—the stares from everyone, the words he often heard.

“I want to go to Dragonstone.”

“Then you’ll have to marry me and go live there with me.” you said, turning to look at the prince. He smiled slightly.

“And if I don’t marry you? Can’t I just go?”

“Wouldn’t you want us to go together, just the two of us?” Jacaerys leaned closer. You looked at him without blinking, and finally, your lips met slowly. He gently slipped his tongue into your mouth, teasing yours as if to savor every bit of sweetness from you.

After a while, the two of you pulled away, gazing into each other’s eyes before laughing together. Jace leaned in again to kiss your cheek.

Now you know what your desire is from here on out. No longer will you need to sleep to recall your dreams, because now your life feels like a dream, and you’ll be living in it forever.

[imaginaryf1shots]

Fan Favourite Moments | Lewis Hamilton

Words count:

Lewis Hamilton x reader

Summery: just some of the fans favourite moments of you and Lewis.

warning: not edited, none

Masterlist

Lewis Masterlist

Kissing in the rain

This race week is set in Spa and the weather condition isn’t the best, it’s forecasted to rain a lot as you go through weekend, but at the moment it’s sunny. The sun is up that it makes you think that there’s noway it’ll rain but you’ve been to too many races and places to know that. Mother nature is very indecisive with mood swings so bad you want to know if she’s okay. Anyways Lewis hasn’t done his track walk yet, so he went around looking for you, finishing you in a corner in the garage with Susie, she was telling you about her plans with women in sport and what they’re working on to change their role in the sport.

You looked concentrated, you were so into the conversation he almost felt bad for breaking the conversation, but if you wanted to come with him then now’s the best time to go and take advantage of the weather. You were already dressed in running shoes and sports trousers ready for the walk, you talked about the day before.

“Sorry to interrupt, but (y/n) do you wanna come on a track walk with me?” Lewis asked if you changed his mind, that’ll be okay with him even if he wanted you to come. It’s been a couple weeks since you last saw each other because of schedule conflict.  

“Go,go, we’ll continue talking later.” Susie said straight away waving you off. “We spend most of the time together anyway.”

“Okay, but we’re definitely continuing later.” Waving bye to her, you lace your hands with Lewis, as you leave the garage.

“Here I got you this.” Lewis said and gave you a jacket he had in his other hand, you let go of his hand and he helped you put it on, it’s one of his jackets that were waterproof, but provided warmths. 

“Thanks.” You say with a satisfied smile, Lewis smiled down at you, he found you so cute with you engulfed in his jacket looking cosy and warm. Lacing your hands once again you start your walk down the pitlane and the track. It wasn’t the most athletic walk, you were just walking at a slow pace. You were telling Lewis about how his fans turned you into a grid mum online, gathering all the cute moments you had through the years you’ve been with Lewis. You were very animated as you told him about the memes and what not, even showing him a couple that you saved on your phone. It was over halfway through the track that it started to get gloomy and dark. “So much for the sun.”

“To be fair if we walked faster we would’ve been done by now.” Lewis said looking up at the sky as you walked, the clouds were dark and heavy looking.

“True but I like having those slow walks with you, especially when we haven’t seen each other in a long time.” You pout as you say this, Lewis wraps his arm around your shoulder sideways, and yours goes around his middle.

“I do too, you know some would argue that two weeks aren’t that long of a time to not have seen each other.” Lewis said and you shake your head scoffing. “I’m not saying that, because you know I hate spending a day without seeing you.”

“You know that some wou;d argue that that’s not healthy and that this is attachment issues.” You fire back and Lewis laughs, you fight the smile creeping onto your face. “I’m not saying that, I for one love that, my only complain is that sometimes I can’t sleep when you’re not next to me.”

“And you love your sleep.”

“I love my sleep.” you felt it then the first drop hitting your face making you flinch slightly, looking up, it’s like heavens doors just opened and you’re both wet in seconds, pulling up your hood, Lewis does the same, you could see the pitlane from where you walked. “We should hurry up.”

“Wait for a second.” You were confused, Lewis stopped walking and held your wrist to halt your walking before you faced him, he had his head tilted back, eyes closed, clearly enjoying the rain.

“Lew, you can get sick my love.” You warn him thinking of his health. 

“Just a moment.” He answered, your worry visible on your face but he couldn’t see it with his eyes closed. You take in the peaceful look on his face, and find yourself smiling. This Lewis is your favourite Lewis, the one only you and close friends and family get to see. Slowly you move your arms around his middle pressing yourself against him, but your head was back to look at your boyfriend. Lewis opens his eyes and looks at you, water was running down your hoodie and you both were getting wetter and wetter. However you looked so good to him right now, so carefree and smiley. 

So you can't blame him for not resisting, his hand cups your cheek before he's pulling you in for a kiss. You squeak surprised, Lewis is a very private person and isn't big on PDA, so kissing while there are cameras possibly around is usually a thing when he's winning. You don't hesitate once you get over the shock to kiss him back your hands holding his jacket tighter. The kiss doesn't last long, and it isn't a deep kiss but it was filled with love and passion. It left you warm and tingly, with butterflies in your stomach, how he still gives you butterflies after all those years you'll never know. 

Cameras catch the kiss from the pitlane the long lenses capture the moment between you two. And even though you hate how much cameras are always in your face the pictures from that day you have saved on your phone.(maybe even framed in your Monaco house? 

Training

It really was just a  series of videos he posted to his story.

Story 1. He told his fans that you were going to try and train like him, you could be seen in the background stretching in your gym wear.

Story 2. It was easy, just some cardio, you were all smiley giving the camera thumps up and everything.

Story 3. You move to goblet squats, you’re again doing okay no thumps up but you’re okay.

Story 4. Deadlifts. Of course all the training you’re doing is fitted for your body and your limits, but you don’t really do deadlifts while you’re in the gym. So you’re frowning while LEwis is hyping you up, you managed to do them but sweat is appearing faster and faster now.

Story 5. It starts with you complaining that you can’t even do press ups, much less dumbbell press ups. Yeah… you only managed to do five and Lewis was generous with his counting. 

Story 6. You’re laying on the ground breathing heavily and refusing to move. You glare at Lewis when he tells you what you have to do next. 

Story 7. You’ve given up, sitting on the ground, your back to the wall, knees bent and your water bottle in your hand. Lewis was amused but he praised you for what you’ve done. 

Helmet kiss

You didn’t mean for it to happen, it wasn’t planned really. But you found yourself kissing Lewis’ helmet every time you were at a race from the start of your relationship. After and before every race it just became something that you always did. He’d have his visor up and you could see his eyes in a smile. It was something for the both of you, for you to show Lewis that you’re proud of him, that you’re there for him, even when he didn’t win or wasn’t on a podium you always kissed his helmet or him to be honest, if there were cameras or there weren't any.

Getting pulled in an interview by the reporter

Media days, usually are the days you spend the most time with Lewis on track. All the time between interviews and breaks he had, it gave you enough time, and you were able to stand with the Merc staff behind camera and watch him.

And so here you are, media day after a week off between racing, Lewis was pulled into an interview in pitlane, you were standing off camera watching him with his PR manager.

“We just saw you last week at Milan fashion week,” The interviewer said, just last week you both were in Milan and attended a few shows and walked a couple red carpets together. “Along with your girlfriend y/n, are times like this you spend destressing or just taking time off away from racing”  

“I mean yeah, it’s always fun to spend time away and have a break and it’s something we’re both interested in.” Lewis kept it short and sweet, but the interviewer had other things on her mind.

“You both looked amazing, actually we have y/n here.” She said and the camera turned around and panned to you, you had a startled look on your face for a split second before you smiled and waved to the camera. “Come here y/n, come on.”

Timidly you walked to your boyfriend’s open arm, you wrapped an arm around his waist, while his rested on your back. 

“y/n tell us, you spend so much time on the road with Lewis, what is something that you both like to do that helps you take a break from formula 1?”

“Uh, I don’t know, because once we’re off track we usua;;y just do something fun and don’t think much about formula 1.” You looked at Lewis for confirmation and he gave you a smile of encouragement. “It’s our way of not letting it consume us, and I do a lot of my work on the road as well, so we just have time off around the races and do something we like.” 

“That’s lovely, it’s great to have some stability in each other, lewis?”

“Definitely, having y/n with me gives me a sense of stability, and just having her with me helps me a lot.” You just couldn’t fight the smile on your face hearing his words, because you both sacrificed so much for his job, and if there is ever moments where you’d think maybe it’s too much or you can’t push back any of the things you want in life, you remember how happy you are with him and how sacrificing some things is okay, every relationship has some sacrifices and you’re okay with that. The highs are really good and you’ve managed to go through all the lows together, the support you have for the other is really one of the foundations to your relationship.

Driving

It’s a well known and documented fact that you can drive, and you love driving and that you’re actually a very good driver. But no matter what you’re not a super car driver. Mercedes thought it’ll be good idea to film a video of you driving a car in Silverstone, with Lewis in the passenger seat before you switch. 

You’re not used to being in those kind of things, yes you have sealed with your fair share of paparazi and media but not in a video where you had to be miked up and everything. So you were a little nervous, Lewis saw your eyes as they ran over all the cameras and filming crew, your eyes were the only indication that you were nervous. Walking up to you he smiles, you were dressed in a Mercedes race suit, matching his. Even your helmet was the same as his, he had it made for you. 

“Are you okay?” Lewis asked you, shielding you away from everyone’s view. 

“Yeah, just a little nervous.” You mumbled and pouted as you looked up at your man leaning into him slightly, Lewis pulled you in for a hug.

“It’s okay, the moment you want to end this and not film just tell me and we’ll end it.” Lewis reassured you, he wouldn't want to pressure you into doing anything you didn’t want to do. 

“No, I’m powering through this, nerves never stopped me before.” You winked at him and smiled, you remembered the first time you met Lewis how nervous he made you it almost made it hard to talk to him but you pushed the nerves aside and talked to him and here you are now, so happily in love. 

You got called to start filming, both Lewis and you stood next to each other in front of the camera, as someone introduced you.

“Driving with Lewis is his girlfriend, (y/n) (l/n)!” You smiled and nodded to the camera trying to keep your cool, Lewis placed a comforting hand on your back. “(Y/n) will take a turn driving around the track first before they switch and Lewis will drive.”

“Am I allowed an out lap to get the track?” YOu asked raising a hand, you’ve walked it before with Lewis, but you haven’t drove it.

“Sure.”

With that you got in the driver’s side and LEwis in the passenger. “This is familiar.” You say once you were in, meaning that you almost always drive when it’s the two of you. 

“Let’s go!” Lewis was excited, he wanted to see what you got. You never sped up or drove over the speed limit, so seeing you driving fast is going to be something new to him. 

“You have to give me some tips.” YOu said as you turned on the car and started driving, you were taking it easy not fast and not slow, a happy 80km/h. Lewis then pointed to where you should break where you can speed up. Once you had a lap around the track, your actual lap started. 

Speeding up, you were so focused on the road in front of you. “Break here, here.”

“You go, love.” “Speed up!” “Babe that was amazing.”

You laughed as you slowed down for the end of the lap, Lewis held his palm up and you high fived him. “We should get you a seat at Mercedes.”

“Shut up… this was super fun.” You said unbuckling your seat belt and opened the door before you two switched places. 

“Ready?” 

“Ready.” 

You were not ready, Lewis pressed his foot down on the paddle and off you were.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!” For some reason you didn’t expect the car to go that fast. At least not that fast straight away. You clutched the door and the seat tightly your knuckles turned white. Lewis was laughing. “Lewis!”

“Hold tight.” He said before he pulled the handbrake and turned, your body was pushed to the side of the car, making you scream. 

“Lewis, lewis, lewis, babe, please-aaah.” He was showing off, he was, breaking late, accelerating faster, using the car as if he was racing and in his F1 car.

“Okay, okay.” He slowed down for a bit, and you sighed in relief, Lewis looked at you grinning.

“I’m not going to even tell you to look at the road.” You muttered shaking your head, Lewis laughed before pressing his foot down and once again you went flying down the track. 

By the end of the TWO laps, you knew one thing for certain. “This is why I drive us around and not you.” 

Road-trip 

It's a well known fact that Lewis hates driving when he's not racing, He's said it before a million times. So all the cars the both of you own are basically your cars. Lewis is a passenger princess and you absolutely love it. 

Even though you have your own money and make a good living, Lewis loves spoiling you and doing everything in his power to make it so you need nothing, craving some dessert you have in Italy you got it. Saw some bag in the passing and asked him what he thinks about it, you got it. Want to try a new hobby, you got the top of the art supplies. Anywhere you want to just think it and he'll book it straight away. Its not that you can't do all that, he just loves spoiling you, simple as that. And its not to say that you don't spoil him as well, but there's something about driving him around that makes you so happy. 

"Let's go princess." You called out the car, the windows were down, and Lewis was checking that you had everything you needed before you hit the road. The GPS was already set up, your sunglasses were on and you were itching to get going. 

"Haha, just making sure we have everything." Lewis said before he got in the car, he had his glasses on, you both were dressed very casually, you'll be in the car for a while so looks weren't important. "You look so happy." 

You couldn't help the smile on your face as you pulled from the building. "Yeah, you know I've been wanting to do this for a couple years now."

"I'm glad you're happy." Lewis said with a smile. They can now relax after a long season flying and being everywhere, Lewis thoughts its the best time to have a road trip from your home in Monaco to the UK. As much as Lewis hates driving on normal road with normal speeds you love it, this idea has been on your mind for years, so the moment Lewis suggested that you do it you jumped at the chance. 

Driving through France and seeing the country from a different perspective than what the both of you are used to, and just spending time with him away from everyone else for a few days.

The music was on and you both had your windows down and singing softly along to the music. Lewis took a few photos of you, he couldn’t help but wanting to document the trip.

You guys made the 14 hour drive into a three or four day drive, spending afew hours on the road, before staying in a hotel/inn and going around sight-seeing. Both of you were severely underdressed than your usual selves, sporting sunglasses and hats to keep a low profile. Your hard effort did in fact pay off, no one was the wiser, and having a less known name than Lewis everything was booked under your name.

Lewis did post a few things on his insta story, making the fans go crazy. 

The first story he posted was from where you were singing, your hair flying everywhere, and he was hyping you up, the video ended with you both laughing. Both sounding and looking so happy.

The second picture was a selfie of himself enjoying being a passenger prince. He captioned the picture with a best passenger❤️

The second day you posted a picture of Lewis changing one of the tires, followed by a short video showing you in the middle of the countryside, with nothing to be seen around you. Honestly all of the content the fans were fed during the trip was enough to keep them satisfied for a while, before they were starved once again.

Lewishamilton

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lewishamilton A trip I'll always remeber

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Part 4: Warning Bells

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11

I don't think I can do this again (do you remember it too?)

(In which a self-admittedly all over the place writer takes you on a bit of a rollercoaster)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Fluff, Angst, Pining (the usuals)

Words: 6.1K

TW: Swearing, Mentions of Divorce

A/N: Hi lovelies :) Guess who made a deadline again? I'm as shocked as y'all are but I do wanna just warn y'all that August is gonna be really busy for me so as much as I'm gonna try to stick to schedule, there's a pretty good chance I won't. I really appreciate y'alls feedback with live-reacts/long reviews and it's truly the motivating factor behind my writing so pretty please keep sending them. I did edit (as usual) but please let me know the most likely existent typos anyway. As always, let me know what you liked, disliked and what you wanna see next. Have a lovely rest of your week my loves <3

March 2033 

Here’s what Azzi has learned about motherhood: having kids means that there will come many times in your life, when you will look around you and wonder how the hell did I get here. It’s that thought that’s currently plaguing her as she finishes hanging up the WELCOME HOME banner on the living room wall in her ex-girlfriend’s new apartment. And when she’s talking about kids, she’s not talking about her five year old who’s currently sticking purple hearts on every surface she can find. No, she’s talking about her 6’5 teammate who she’d once “adopted” as a joke in college, but who’s basically become her surrogate child ever since they’d ended up on the same WNBA team. 

It had started as a casual conversation when Jana, as she often did, had shown up for an impromptu lunch. The topic of Paige was hard to avoid considering it was Stephie’s favorite subject, heightened by the fact that Paige was coming back soon and Stephie was far too excited to finally have her Miss Buecks back. Jana was more than happy to indulge the little girl in conversation about what Paige had been like at UConn. And if Azzi had lost herself in those memories for a moment, transported back in time to a world that had once been blooming with promise before wilting in a darkness she’d created herself, well, she’d done an excellent job not letting it show on her face. 

The real issue had started when Jana had casually let slip her idea of surprising Paige with a little welcome party. And as Stephie had started reciting all the different things they could do -because of course me and Mama will help you Aunty J, Azzi had glared at Jana, only to receive an innocent smile in return that told her everything she needed to know. She’d been set up. 

That’s how, instead of spending her Saturday curled up on her comfortable couch with a book in her hands, Azzi is here instead and in true fashion, she’s the only one actually getting anything done. Jana, who had just left about twenty minutes ago to pick Paige up, had invited some of the other girls on the team to come help out yet, something about more hands on deck. Those supposed helpful hands had spent the last hour blowing up and popping balloons and getting nothing else done.

“I can’t believe y’all have me decorating for the woman who cost me my first national championship,” Joyce laments, “I still have nightmares from that game.”

“You gotta let that hurt go Aunty Joy,” Stephie says impishly, mimicking what Jana would normally say whenever the infamous 2025 South Carolina vs UConn national championship got brought up. 

“Don’t sass me Miss Stephanie,” Joyce sticks out her tongue at the little girl, throwing a purple balloon at Stephie’s head, “hasn’t your Mama taught you that we don’t mock people’s pain.”

“Ignore her Steph,” Tessa says, bumping her former Gamecock teammate as she shares a devilish grin with Azzi’s daughter, “she’s just upset she only won one. Some of us have two.”

Joyce guffaws, throwing another balloon, this time aimed at Tessa, “dude we’re supposed to be on the same team. What would Coach Staley say to you teaming with UConn people of all things to bully me?”

“She’d thank me for making sure you didn’t get a big head,” Tessa snipes back. 

Whatever response Joyce has to that quip is cut short by the doorbell ringing and Azzi feels her heartbeat quicken as Stephie lets out a squeal, dropping everything to go answer it. Things had been different since the facetime call almost two weeks ago. They’d accidentally on purpose settled into a routine where Stephie would call Paige at exactly 7 p.m. and Paige would answer on the first ring, promising to stay on the phone till the little girl fell asleep. And it would’ve been fine if that’s all it was. But then Paige started staying on the phone till after Stephie fell asleep and suddenly it was like they were back to their teenage selves, talking about everything and nothing, trying to learn every page of each other’s story all over again. 

Azzi had missed so much about Paige in the last couple of years but there was nothing she’d missed more than just talking to her best friend. She’d missed the way Paige would tell a story, going off on a million tangents in between. She’d missed the way her eyes would light up when she got to a particularly exciting part of the story, specks of gold shimmering in the blue like sunlight hitting the ocean. She’d missed the way Paige’s hands would be flying animatedly all over the place, even when she was whispering. She’d missed the way the blonde would pause halfway through to observe if Azzi was still listening, making sure all of the attention was still on her. And she’d missed the way that when it was Azzi’s turn to speak, Paige would hang onto every word like it was gospel, intently listening like she’d never forgive herself if she couldn’t recite everything Azzi had just said from memory. She’d missed the way Paige would let her emotions freely flicker across her face, because whatever happened to Azzi, Paige felt it too. 

She’d missed and missed, convinced the pain would be the end of her, until she’d tricked her mind into forgetting. And now Azzi’s beginning to realize that remembering it all again, might just be the thing that kills her. 

“Nevermind,” Stephie walks back to the room, sulking slightly, “it’s just Aunty Liyah.”

“Oh thanks Stephie babe. That makes me feel so wonderful,” Aaliyah says, walking in behind Stephie with an offended expression on her face, “and here I thought bringing cupcakes would make me popular.”

“Tell me those are store-bought Chavez. I ain’t trusting them if you made them yourselves,” Joyce says, side-eyeing the cupcakes. 

“Trust me I would never waste my precious time baking for y’all ungrateful ass-”

“Aaliyah,” Azzi shoots her younger teammate a sharp look.

“-ungrateful people,” Aaliyah corrects sheepishly, “cupcakes because y’all clearly don’t appreciate me.”

“I pre-ciate you Aunty Liyah,” Stephie says innocently, trying to get a better look at the aforementioned cupcakes, “you got the pu-ple ones right? They have to be pu-ple for Miss Buecks.”

Aaliyah bends down to Stephie’s level to show her the box of sweet treats “the perfect purple cupcakes for your Miss Buecks. How come you never wanna do nice things like this for us Stephie?”

“Because Miss Buecks is special,” Stephie retorts matter-of-factly.

“Oh so we’re not special?” Tessa asks, raising an eyebrow at Stephie.

“‘Course you are but Miss Buecks is special-er.”

And while her teammates all pretend to dramatically gasp at that, shaking their heads at Stephie, Azzi feels like someone’s squeezing her heart, twisting and twisting but never fully breaking it. She wonders if that might hurt less.

It’s another 10 minutes later when the doorbell rings again and Azzi watches her daughter’s face break into an incandescent grin, filled with hope, as she rushes to open the door because it has to be Paige this time. Azzi follows after her, trying to keep her breathing under control as anticipation clings to her nerves. Azzi’s gotten so spectacularly good at lying to herself that she tells herself this next one with ease: there’s not a single part of her that’s eager to see Paige again. 

“SURPRISE,” Stephie screams, flinging the front door open with as much strength as she can muster. She doesn’t give Paige a chance to react before she’s throwing herself against the blonde’s legs, hugging her thighs. 

It takes a second for Paige to register what’s happening, but when she does, it’s Azzi she’s looking at. Everything seems to move in slow motion as they stare at each other, the reality of the moment suddenly settling in. Paige is here. In Oakland. They’re going to be teammates; they’re going to see each other almost every day. Just like they used to. Except nothing is like it used to be and as that bitter truth comes up like bile in Azzi’s throat, she has to force herself to look away. 

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie calls out, tugging at the hem of Paige’s white shirt to get her attention, “do you like my surprise?”

Paige tears her eyes away from Azzi, leaning down to pick Stephie up before peppering her faces with kisses and making the younger girl squeal in delight, “best surprise ever.”

And Azzi really, really, can’t watch this. Not when it makes her want to walk over and cocoon herself in with the two of them, makes her want to pretend that she’s living in another life, one where she hadn’t thrown away the chance of a happily ever after with the girl she’d fallen in love with at fourteen, 

“Oh yeah Stephie, your surprise. Take all the credit. Not like the rest of us did anything,” Joyce rolls her eyes goodnaturedly, before pulling Paige into a one-armed hug, “welcome to the Bay Area Bueckers.”

Tessa and Aaliyah are next, both sharing warm hugs with their new teammate. Once they’ve had their turn, all eyes seem to turn to Azzi expectantly and the brunette blanches under their gaze. Other than Jana, who suddenly seems pretty heavily interested in the doorframe, the rest of her teammates don’t know about her past with Paige. So it’s only natural they’d expect her to greet Paige with all the cordiality of an old friend. 

“Y’all good?” Joyce asks slowly, looking between the two of them, “do you want me to introduce y’all or?”

“Shut up,” Azzi murmurs before drawing in a deep breath and stepping towards Paige. She tries not to fixate on the way Paige’s jaw flexes when the blonde swallows, tries not to think about all the patterns she’d once carved against that little patch of skin because she knew it drove Paige insane. The thing is Azzi can’t even really remember the last time they hugged beyond a for-the-cameras one at a game. But as she wraps her arms around Paige, the older woman’s breath tickling against her ear as she grips Azzi’s waist, it doesn’t feel that much different from how it used to be. Paige’s arms are still safe and strong and Azzi still wants to melt into them. But what’s different is that Stephie’s in between them now, tiny hands securely fastened around both of their necks. And Azzi almost, almost gives into the feeling of belonging as she whispers two simple words that mean just a little too much.

“Welcome home.”

***

Seven pairs of eyes watch as the movers move box after box after box into Paige’s apartment, until there’s more cardboard than floor visible. The three non-UConn girlies are wide-eyed as they watch the pile grow endlessly. Meanwhile Jana is laughing while Azzi tries to hide a smile behind her hands as the realization that she’d have to unpack all of her stuff hits Paige in waves, and her expression grows more and more somber. Once the movers are finally done, it’s Stephie, whose hand is still firmly clasped in Paige’s, who breaks the silence. 

“You have a lot of things Miss Buecks,” the little girl crinkles her nose, as she points out the obvious, “do you really need all of this stuff.”

“Of course I do Stephie,” Paige says indignantly and Azzi scoffs, earning her a withering glare from the blond. 

“Aight well it was nice to meet you-” Joyce starts, slowly backing away from the mess until Jana blocks her way. 

“Oh no you don’t. I told y’all we were all gonna help her move in. Call it team bonding,” the Egyptian says, her voice vaguely threatening. 

“Most of the team isn’t even here,” Aaliyah points out cautiously. 

“That’s not the point,” Jana rebukes, “alright team listen up. Here’s how this is going to go-”

“Maybe Paige should take charge. It is her apartment,” Tessa says slowly. 

“If we put Paige in charge she’ll tell us all to go home and procrastinate doing anything until after the season,” Azzi says, a knowing smirk playing on her lips. 

Paige pouts, “hey! I’m not that bad.”

“Oh you absolutely are.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“O-kay,” Jana claps, breaking apart the bickering, “it’s good to see the two of you are apparently younger than Stephie,” she holds up a hands a both Paige and Azzi start to splutter in their defense, “now as I was saying before being rudely interrupted. We’re gonna split this up. Joyce and I are gonna do the living room. Aaliyah and Tessa, y’all are gonna fix the guest room. Which leaves,” Jana smiles, and it’s only because Azzi knows her so well that she can read the menacing sparkle behind it, “Paige and Azzi to tackle the master bedroom.”

They both open their mouths to protest but are quick to get cut off by an excited Stephie, “I’mma help Mama and Miss Buecks!”

“Of course you are, why would you ever help anybody else? Clearly you don’t love us anymore. Not since your precious Miss Buecks got here,” Joyce says dramatically and while Paige smirks and the rest of the girls pretend to act mock offended, Azzi uses the distraction to sidle up to Jana. 

“What the fuck are you playing at El-Alfy,” she hisses under hear breath.

Jana shrugs innocently, “the master bedroom is the hardest because Paige has so many fucking clothes so I’m letting y’all old heads do it. Some of us are below 30 ya know.”

“Cut the bullshit,” Azzi snaps. 

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about Fudd,” Jana says airily as she starts to unpack a box, leaving Azzi muttering curses under her breath. 

“Hey-”

Azzi spins around at the soft voice, only to find herself crashing against a solid body. It’s instinct, the way Paige’s hands immediately reach out to steady her and it’s instinct, the way Azzi’s hands grab at the lapels of the blond’s shirt. Goosebumps trails up her skin as Paige's breath, hot and heavy, fans across her face. They’re too close; way too close and yet the idea of stepping away feels like a sin. Azzi gulps as her thumb accidentally brushes Paige’s collarbone and the other woman shivers under her touch. She thinks she could probably get drunk off the feeling of knowing that she can still affect Paige like that. 

“You uh-” Paige swallows, fingers squeezing involuntarily against Azzi’s hip, “you don’t have to listen to Jana. I can- I can figure it out myself.”

“N-no,” Azzi stutters and she wonders if Paige feels a high from the way she still affects Azzi too, “there’s um- you have- uh- you have a lot of stuff. I can-,” she sucks in a deep breath, “I’ll help.”

“You sure?” there’s a vulnerable edge to Paige’s tone and any resolve Azzi could ever have melts immediately. 

“I want to help,” she says softly, letting a small smile slip onto her lips. 

The smile she gets in return is bright and sparkling, just like Paige herself and Azzi’s heart lurches, pleased to be the one receiving it, pleased to be the one who’d elicited it, “Good, cause I really wanted your help.”

Azzi shakes her head, trying to ignore the warning bells blazing in her head at the fact that they’re still holding each other, “why’d you pretend you didn’t?”

“I just wanted to hear you say it first,” Paige says, biting at her bottom lip. It leaves a light mark and Azzi finds herself wanting to soothe it over with her own tongue.

She thinks it might have been easier if it was just a little harder to fall back into Paige. It shouldn’t be so simple to fall back into late night conversations, so simple to fall back into easy teasing, so simple to fall back into feeling at peace in Paige’s arms. But it is. 

“Mama, Miss Buecks,” it’s Stephie who breaks their bubble but instead of jumping away from each other like they should, they step apart only enough to let the little girl into the space between them, so she can lace her hands through both of theirs, “are you ready?”

“Before you go Paige,” Tessa calls out, holding up a clear bag of corner guards and edge protectors, “what are we doing with these?”

Paige shuffles her feet nervously, “you um- you put them on the edge of like tables and stuff.”

“Bro but they’re for people who have children?” Joyce says, giving Paige a weird look, “you have a kid we don’t know about?”

Paige’s eyes flicker to Stephie for a brief second and Azzi freezes, a warm realization tickling up her spine. Butterflies erupt in her stomach, their wings fluttering to the beat of what’s mine could have been ours. 

“Of course not. I’m just super clumsy so precautions and all that,” the blond explains, shooting Jana a glare when the taller woman barely masks a giggle, “quit procrastinating by asking all these questions and get to work.”

“Has anyone ever told you the importance of first impressions? Because I’m telling you Bueckers, using your teammates as unpaid labor the first time you meet them is not it,” Aaliyah gives Paige a pointed look. 

“This wasn’t even my idea in the first place,” Paige defends. 

“True,” Tessa nods with a sickly sweet smile, “but you’re gonna pay for the pizza anyways.”

“I’m not pay-”

“PIZZA,” Stephie squeals, “Miss Buecks you’re gonna get us Pizza?”

“Yeah Miss Buecks,” Azzi smickers, crossing her arms as Paige’s stubborn retort dies on her lips, “you gonna get us pizza?”

Paige glares at her before she’s swinging Stephie up onto her lap again. And she really needs to stop doing things like that because it’s not remotely good for Azzi’s mental health to watch the way Stephie seems to fit perfectly in Paige’s arms, “of course I am Steph, what do you want?”

The two of them are lost in their own world discussing pizza toppings as Paige starts walking over to the master bedroom, until suddenly they're both turning around, looking at Azzi with identical expressions. And the brunette feels her heart tap out this could be my everything against her ribcage. 

“You coming Azzi?”

“Mama, are you coming?”

I’d go anywhere with the two of you, Azzi thinks as she nods her head, a light skip in her step as she moves to catch up with the two of them. 

“Of course I’m coming.”

***

Less than 10 minutes into trying to unpack, Azzi realizes that she’s the only one trying to unpack anything when she looks up from where she’s been folding t-shirts -trying and failing at not breathing in their familiar scent- to find Stephie decked in a colorful cardigan that goes all the way down to her toes, her feet clad in a pair of PB4’s that must be three times the size of her own shoes. A pair of Louis Vuitton sunglasses hide almost her entire face as she strikes pose after pose and Paige diligently takes pictures of her. 

“YES Stephie,” the blond indulges, “work it girl. There you go babe, hold that pose for me. You’re a natural in front of the camera.”

Stephie giggles and Azzi feels her heart constrict. Her favorite sound in the whole world has never sounded more like a signal for danger. 

“Ahem ahem,” she coughs, narrowing her eyes at the two people in front of her, “doesn’t look like y’all are unpacking to me.”

“Mama Miss Buecks has so many pretty clothes,” Stephie gushes, completely ignoring what her mother just said. 

“They’d look even prettier folded in her closet,” Azzi says pointedly. 

Stephie pouts, “you don’t think I look pretty?”

“You look really pretty in my clothes Stephie,” Paige cuts in, tapping the little girl on the nose before she turns her gaze towards Azzi, “just like your Mama used to.”

The silk material shirt slips out of Azzi’s hand as Paige’s words drizzle around her, like the rain after a drought. It takes every little bit of strength she can muster to force herself to ignore Paige’s words and pick up another shirt to fold even if she can’t stop the rouge tint that colors her face. There’s this part of her that’s been dormant for years but every little interaction with Paige threatens to awaken it and Azzi’s scared that if she lets that happen, she’ll never be able to put it to sleep again. 

“Just- just focus on unpacking,” Azzi mutters darkly. 

She spends the next hour or so, keeping her eyes downcast, her complete focus on the task at hand. Because if she looks up, if she lets herself see the way Stephie and Paige are folding clothes together while giggling about something, if she lets herself see the way Stephie climbs onto Paige’s back so the woman can give her a piggyback to the closet to deposit the folded clothes, she thinks she could fall in love with this moment, capture it behind her eyelids and let it live there forever. But this moment doesn’t belong to Azzi. Because Paige doesn’t belong to Azzi. Not anymore. 

Azzi’s taken away from her thoughts when she feels a tiny hand wrapping around her neck from behind, Stephie’s warm body pressing against her back and just like that, all the tension in her muscles seem to dissipate. 

“What’s up sweetheart,” she asks, turning her head to press her lips against her daughter’s temple. 

“Nothing Mama,” Stephie says sweetly, “just wanted to give you a hug.”

“Sure you’re not just trying to get out of helping Miss Buecks unpack?” Azzi asks slyly, pulling Stephie from behind her, so the little girl’s lying on her lap instead. She can feel Paige’s eyes focused on the two of them and even without looking, she thinks she knows what she’d find in them if she did. 

“Of course not Mama,” Stephie grins and then squeals as Azzi begins to tickle her. 

“I think you are,” Azzi sings-songs as she continues to poke at her daughter’s stomach, reveling in the way it makes the child laugh. 

“N-no Mama stop, stop,” Stephie manages to wrench herself out from Azzi’s grip, darting to hide behind Paige’s legs, “Miss Buecks save me.”

“There’s no saving you now Stephie-bear,” Azzi roars dramatically as she picks herself off the floor, smirking at her daughter as she wriggles her fingers menacingly. 

“You know what the best way to stop someone from tickling you is Stephie?” Paige says slowly, sending the little girl a conspiratorial wink.

“Don’t you dare-” 

“You tickle them back,” Paige yells and Stephie eyes widen with excitement, “did you know your Mama’s extremely ticklish?”

“Paige no,” Azzi starts moving back, hands held in surrender. 

“You started it.”

“Yeah Mama, you started it.”

“Paige. Stephie. Ple-” Azzi cuts herself off with squeal as two sets of hands start mercilessly prodding at her ribcage. She can’t get away, not when Paige has her securely wrapped from the back and Stephie’s pressed against her front, both of them laughing maniacally. They’re a mess of limbs that’s becoming harder and harder to tell apart as the three of them topple onto Paige’s bed. And Azzi thinks maybe she doesn’t want to escape it at all. She thinks she’d like to freeze them in this moment instead. Forever. 

“Pizza’s here,” someone yells from the living room and it’s Stephie who stops first, immediately jumping off the bed at the mention of food, leaving Paige and Azzi alone. On Paige’s bed. Barely an inch of distance between them as they try to catch their breath. It’s Azzi who sits up first, smoothening the wrinkles on her shirt. And just as she’s about to stand up fully, she feels a hand circling around her wrist. 

“It’s gonna be weird being alone tonight,” Paige confesses softly and Azzi feels her breath hitch.

“Didn’t you live alone in Dallas? At least after the divorce?” she tries to keep the bitterness out of her voice at the last word, a bitterness she knows she has absolutely no right to feel. 

Paige shrugs, her shoulders brushing against Azzi’s, “I did but I knew Dallas. I don’t know this place.”

“What exactly are you asking me?” Azzi asks even though she knows. 

“I’m not asking you anything. I don’t know if I have that right anymore” Paige says softly, letting go of Azzi’s wrist as she starts to walk towards the living room, turning her head back slightly once she gets to the door, “I’m just telling you I don’t wanna be alone tonight.”

***

Damn Paige Bueckers and her vulnerable eyes and her earnest tone because Azzi would, really, really like to be enjoying her slice of pizza right now. Instead everything tastes like ashes as Paige’s unsaid plea rings in her head. There are so many reasons why Azzi absolutely shouldn’t give in, why she should grab Stephie, get into her car, drive home and never look back. This involuntary dance the two of them are starting is far too familiar to what they’d done when they were teenagers and the vivid memories of the day the music stopped and they’re feet stopped moving still haunt Azzi every time she lets herself think of it for a little too long. And she shouldn’t push herself into this fire again, not when there’s Stephie to think about, but there’s a tiny little problem. She thinks she might be addicted to burning in Paige’s flames. 

So when the pizza’s done and the house is more or less in order, and her teammates are ready to leave, looking expectantly at Azzi, she finds herself leaping into lava, “um- I think Stephie and I are gonna stay for a little bit longer.”

“We are?” Stephie asks, a huge smile stretching the length of her face as she looks up at her mother. 

“Yeah. Um- Paige’s bedroom still um- still needs some work,” Azzi tries to justify her decision, ignoring the heat of the blond’s eyes that seem to be perpetually stuck staring at her. 

Joyce raises a perplexed eyebrow, “it looked done to me.”

Paige clears her throat, “there’s definitely uh- a couple more things that need to be handled.”

“It’s almost Stephie’s bedtime. I could stay and help-” Jana begins, eyeing the two of them suspiciously.

“No,” Paige says, a little louder than necessary, “I mean you’ve already done so much for me today Jana,” she manages a smirk, “let Azzi pull her weight a little bit too ya know.”

Janna narrows her eyes but doesn’t push it. It’s oddly domestic, standing side by side with Paige bidding goodbye to their teammates, Stephie in between them happily waving at the people that are leaving. The warning bells get louder and louder; Azzi continues to do nothing to stop them. 

“Mama, how long are we staying?” Stephie asks innocently. 

“We um-” Azzi chews at her lip, finally giving into the temptation to look at Paige, “we’re gonna stay with Miss Buecks tonight so she doesn’t feel alone.”

The shrill scream that escapes Stephie’s mouth could probably break glass as she turns herself around to grab at Paige’s waist, “Miss Buecks I’m gonna stay with you! We’re gonna have a sleep-over.”

Paige laughs, kneeling down so she’s face to face with the little girl, “yeah we are.”

“Are you scared to sleep alone too Miss Buecks?” Stephie asks cautiously, cupping Paige’s face with tiny hands. 

“Just a little bit,” Paige admits, leaning into Stephie’s touch. 

“Me too,” Stephie whispers shyly, “that’s why I sneak into Mama's bed and she gives me lots and lots and lots of cuddles. Mama’s cuddles are the best,” she turns to Azzi, “Mama will you give Miss Buecks cuddles tonight too?”

“I uh-” Azzi swallows, taken aback by the question, “I thought you didn’t like sharing Mama’s cuddles?”

“I don’t,” Stephie agrees, “but I’d be okay sharing them with Miss Buecks.”

***

Azzi had planned -a loose term because really she hadn’t planned on any of this- for her and Stephie to take the guest room. Paige had been ready to give up her own room on the grounds of politeness. And Stephie was insistent that she needed to sleep in between both Mama and Miss Buecks tonight because it’s a sleepover we all have to stay together. Obviously out of the three of them, only one of them was going their way and it didn’t take a genius to figure out who that would be.  That’s how they’d ended up here, dragging chairs and pillows and blankets into the middle of the living room to create a makeshift fort. 

Azzi’s putting on the finishing touches, stringing purple fairy lights Paige had produced out of nowhere, when Stephie emerges from Paige’s bedroom where she’d gone looking for something to wear in lieu of pajamas. 

“Mama look what I found,” Stephie beams, proudly pointing at the black t-shirt she’s found that covers her whole body, “it’s you and Miss Buecks when you were littler.”

It’s their SLAM cover t-shirt and Azzi feels tears prickling at her waterline as she’s met with the picture of a younger version of the two of them. Back when they’d been so hopeful and carefree, ready to take on the world as long as they could do it together. Back when they’d been 2 in a million.

“I can’t believe you still have this,” Azzi whispers, unable to stop herself from running her fingers across the version of who they used to be. She wonders what those girls would think of them now; those girls who’d laid and bed and pinky promised forever. She thinks they’d probably be appalled at the fact that Paige and Azzi had spent eight years barely speaking. She thinks maybe they’d hate her for what she’d done. She thinks maybe she hates herself a little bit for what she’s done to them. 

Paige is leaning against the wall, her voice quiet when she speaks, “I couldn’t let it go.”

And they both know she’s not talking about the shirt. 

“Can we watch a movie?” Stephie asks, diving into the fort and peering up at the two adults. 

Paige recovers first, “yeah- yeah of course Steph,” she looks at Azzi, “do you- do you want something else to sleep in?”

“I’m good,” Azzi says, trying to inconspicuously brush away a rebellious tear. The shirt she’s wearing feels itchy against her skin but she doesn’t think she could handle wearing something of Paige’s. She scooches into the fort, leaning back against one of the pillows and Stephie’s quick to curl into her and Azzi absentmindedly rubs her hands down her daughter’s back. Paige switches on the TV, letting Stephie dictate a movie choice before letting herself into the fort, laying down on Stephie’s other side. 

“Miss Buecks come cuddle,” Stephie demands from where her head is laying on Azzi’s chest. When Paige hesitates, the younger girl takes it upon herself to pull Paige’s arms over her, making the older woman lie on her side so she can drape her hands over Stephie's stomach, accidentally brushing against Azzi’s ribcage. Stephie lets out a satisfied sigh, lying back down against Azzi, crossing her arms so she can hold Paige’s hand with one and latch onto her mother with the other. 

“Perfect.”

And it is. The sound of Stephie’s chatter slowly fading away mixed with Paige’s quiet breathing is the perfect lullaby and Azzi finds herself drifting off into the best sleep she’s had in years. 

***

Sunlight peeks in through the window and Azzi groans at the interruption. Her whole body feels a little stiff, not used to sleeping on the floor like this. A quick glance at her phone tells her it’s 7 a.m. and Azzi’s just about to let herself fall back asleep when her eyes land on the two sleeping figures next to her. Stephie’s face is buried in Paige’s neck, one arm slung over her waist. Paige, mouth slightly ajar as she sleeps, has both hands fastened on the younger, holding her tightly against her chest like she’d fight the world if someone tried to steal her from her grip. They look happy, content, at peace. And Azzi can’t breathe. 

The warning bells in her head create a cacophonous commotion that she can no longer escape. It hits her like whiplash that she can’t do this. She doesn’t know what had gotten into her last night, why she’d agreed to this, to any of this. But she can’t do this. 

“Stephie,” Azzi whispers urgently, trying to pull her daughter out of Paige’s grasp, “Stephie wake up.”

“Az?” Paige asks groggily, stirring in her sleep, “what’s going on?”

“We need to go home,” Azzi says and she can’t bear to look at Paige. 

“What?” Paige is far more awake now as she glances at her phone, “it’s 7 am Azzi. What’s the rush?"

Azzi ignores her, still trying to wake Stephie up who groans, “Mama too early.”

“Steph-”

“Azzi,” Paige’s voice is firm as she wraps her hand around Azzi’s wrist, slipping Stephie off of her, “what is going on.”

Azzi grits her teeth, “nothing’s going on. We just need to go home.”

“Azzi-”

“We shouldn’t have stayed last night Paige,” Azzi bursts out and Paige freezes. 

“Come out of the fort Azzi,” the blond says, her voice eerily calm as she stands up. Azzi follows after her, heart beating rapidly against her chest as she tries to keep the tears at bay. 

“We need to go home,” the brunette repeats, struggling to breathe, “this was a mistake,” Paige flinches and Azzi feels a knife turn in her own hurt, “we can’t do this.”

“Do what Azzi?” Paige asks exasperatedly, still trying to keep her voice low for Stephie’s sake. 

“This,” Azzi all but shrieks, throwing her hands up, “it’s too much, too quick and Stephie- Stephie’s getting attached and I can’t- I can’t let that happen.”

“Why not?” Paige argues stubbornly. 

“Because these last two weeks she couldn’t fall asleep without you on the phone. Because you’re all she talks about sometimes. Because she’s gonna want you forever,” Azzi’s voice breaks, “and she can’t have you forever.”

“Az-”

“And you’re getting attached too. I see the way you look at her and it’s amazing but it’s not- it’s not sustainable Paige. For either of you. Because you’re gonna find someone soon,” the words taste sour on Azzi’s tongue, “and you’re not gonna have time for her and missing you is going to kill her and the guilt of that is going to hurt you. I’m trying to pro-”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Paige’s voice is hard now, eyes gleaming with fire, “you’re basing all of this on a hypothetical that might not even come true. You’re not protecting anybody. You’re projecting.”

Azzi reels back, “I am not projecting.”

“Yes you are,” Paige hisses, “you’re not scared of Stephie or me getting too attached. You’re scared of yourself getting too attached.”

“Mama? Miss Buecks,” Stephie’s tired eyes look warily between the two of them, “what’s going on?”

Azzi plasters a smile on her face as she picks up her little girl, trying to pretend that the truth in Paige’s words haven’t just made her feel hollow, “we’re going home Stephie.”

“I don’t wanna go home,” Stephie fights against Azzi’s grip, looking helplessly at Paige, “Miss Buecks I wanna stay. Can I please stay?”

“You have to listen to your Mama sweetheart” Paige says softly, heartbreak written over her face as she moves to press a kiss against Stephie’s knuckles, “but I’ll see you soon okay. I promise.”

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie whimpers and Azzi has never hated herself more as she rushes out of Paige’s new house, willing herself to not look back. She buckles Stephie in the back, pretending she doesn’t see the way Paige is watching them leave from the porch, like she’d do anything to stop it. And then she drives away. 

It isn’t until she’s safely in the confines over her own room, that Azzi finally lets the tears fall. And she consoles herself with the fact that it’s okay to crack her daughter's heart, to crack Paige’s heart, to crack her own heart, if that’s the only way she can stop their hearts from breaking altogether.

[lagomoz]

Proseka headcanons

-as rui’s childhood friend, nene has extensive fire safety knowledge

-shizuku is adopted, hence why she looks so different from shiho. she was adopted shortly before the moon rabbit event and it contributed to her clinginess

-shiho forgets this fact sometimes. she’ll casually mention something like shizuku got all mom’s good genes so unfair and ichika has to be. um. shiho

-kanade is mildly nearsighted/myopic but spends so much time at her computer she hasn’t noticed

-emu is buff. she climbs multiple stories without breaking a sweat and is canonically part of the swimming, handball and rhythmic gymnastic clubs, you can’t tell me she doesn’t have some muscle

-saki helps out as a human notepad for tsukasa, reminding of him things he would otherwise forget within 5 minutes

-the vocaloids also help. at first it was unnerving to have hatsune miku be an extension of his psyche that knows his darkest secret (stole saki’s candy when he was 6) but now his phone has a more reliable catgirl themed reminder system

-you know that classic nightmare of leaving the house without pants? tsukasa has legitimately done that as a kid. he forgor. (saki will never let him live it down)

-in the kamiyama student council/hall monitor room, an has put up at sign saying “_ days since last kamishiro incident”

-the shinonome siblings both figured out the other one was gay before they figured it out about themselves

-airi’s great at trivia from her time as a variety show star. she still can’t beat minori at idol trivia, though

-ena keeps a diary with fort knox level security. try to read it and you’ll lose a finger

-saki learned to crochet from the old ladies in the hospital

-shiho’s most treasured phenny is a somewhat lumpy crocheted phenny holding a very lumpy crocheted bass guitar

-tsukasa snores. he falls asleep in 10 seconds and sounds like a dying lawnmower

-mizuki has learned a small bit of french from their sister and uses it exclusively to teach rui and an how to swear in french

-emu still celebrates her grandfather’s birthday, even if he’s not there to celebrate with her

-ena is allergic to dogs, the middle point to airi’s cat allergy and akito’s dog phobia

-rui has various small scars from his experiments over the years, but nobody ever believes the real causes (rocket launcher, robot bite, exploding balloon animal, etc.) so he just makes up a new cause every time someone asks

-mmj! has had repeated incidents of minori and airi’s little siblings walking into frame when streaming at their houses. shiho understands the concept of a livestream but has still been caught failing at creeping past like that one new broadcast of the guy crawling along the floor

-kanade has pots & eds, this one I have a reason for look at her symptoms. chronic exhaustion, heat and cold intolerance, comorbid sleep issues and depression, dizziness when standing up, fainting after standing up, very pale skin, family history of medical issues, pain at normal physical activities, exercise intolerance, vertigo at mild exertion, she just fucking dies during the entire baseball event, I could go on. she canonically gets pain in her hands from opening a jar girl that is not just being out of shape that is physical disability. this one I will go conspiracy board on listen to me I’m right

-kohane ate bugs as a kid. an is horrified, toya is confused, akito is impressed

-ena and airi got in trouble in middle school because they’d keep starting fist fights in defense of the others honor. if they saw the other in a fight they’d jump in guns blazing no hesitation no questions ask ready to throw the fuck down

-vbs!rin and len were given a skateboard by an and then promptly had the skateboard confiscated by meiko for property destruction

-haruka is horrible with slang. she asks the stream chat what poggers means and immediately uses it completely wrong, killing all viewers on impact

-minori is torn between thinking it’s cute and wanting to die

-toya has been banned from arcades before because he made them lose too much money/they suspected he was cheating

-ena brought kanade over for girls night and nearly scared akito half to death because he went down to get a late night snack and there was some Ghastly Creature looming in his kitchen

-kohane's parents stick out like a sore thumb when going to her live shows. it mortifies her that everyone on vivid street can recognize them as the only milquetoast middle aged couple dressed in normal clothes loudly going YOU'RE DOING GREAT SWEETIE that don't know the first thing about music

-minori knows basic programming. she mostly uses it for forums, blogs, html, other web design things usually related to idols as a hobby, but she's become the groups designated anti-shizuku tech support

-mafuyu has always been able to see ghosts but after adults figured she was just playing pretend as a kid so she shrugged and figured it was normal and not worth bringing up again

-honami has one of those massive extended families and somehow keeps track of them all. at any given time cousin #57 can crawl out of the woodwork and she remembers their new job, favorite food, past three romantic relationships and list of allergic reactions

-mizuki does doll customizing as a hobby. they prefer making human sized clothes, but it's fun to make them miniature too. they've introduced shizuku to it and she loves it, but doesn't have the heart to do anything that would hurt the doll (sawing limbs off, dunking them in boiling water, shoving wires in them, etc.)

[coffinclownery]

Okay so I saw the posts talking about the preview before I was able to watch it myself and I wanted to note some things that hasn’t been mentioned as much.

First off the reason Andrew snapped so harshly was this sentence.

It barely even implies anything, it’s a phrase with no backbone. Not even saying anything about the siblings relationship specifically, just the “situation” being a little off. The vaguest of sentences is what causes Andrew to snap.

Then the slamming of the phone. It’s one thing to be told he slammed the phone, but when it’s the only sound effect it really emphasizes how hard he slams it.

I talked about how much easier it is to sympathize with Julia than Ashley because Julia’s nice when posting on main, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel for Julia! Every time we see her poor girl is always walking on eggshells, and it’s definitely something she learned through how she’s treated. Don’t know if it’s from a family situation, her dead childhood friend, her current very volatile “friend” who happens to be her boyfriend’s sister, or her boyfriend himself. Maybe it’s a combination of all these factors, it’s too early to say. I’m getting “last girl in slasher film” vibes and I really don’t appreciate it!

Then there’s this face. He wasn’t planning on snapping, but he’s used to snapping at Ashley this way. Since Ashley’s the personification of a snapping turtle and is guaranteed to reply with a snarky comment he doesn’t see the issue. But here he’s reminded that Julia isn’t like Ashley. And I don’t think this is the first time he’s made this mistake, where he treated Julia like Ashley and had to backtrack.

Of course, instead of admitting to his mistake he throws the responsibility onto Julia’s shoulders, it was her words that made him snap. And Julia, who already was on eggshells before this moment, has to be the one to apologize for something she didn’t even so much as imply.

Andrew literally could have stopped at “It wasn’t a fight” and left it, but he just had to add the second half. He’ll forgive her, implying she’s done something that required his forgiveness. It’s not surprising that Julia breaks up with him after he’s quarantined, in a place where he couldn’t as easily smoothed things over with a peck on the forehead.

At this point Andrew is clearly talking about Ashley and imagining her in his arms. His eyes are literally glazing over and we deliberately can’t see Julia’s face in frame anymore. He might have caused Julia to feel responsible, but make no mistake, he’s once again blaming Ashley for what happened. He’s forgiving Ashley for causing this rift, not Julia. But when Julia tries to respond-

He covers her mouth. If she talks it breaks the illusion that it’s Ashley. This is the part I wished people talked more about, the fact that he literally silences her so he could continue to fantasize. Shudders man. Shudders.

In the words of Ashley Graves in Chapter 1

[loveforsatoru]

hello !!!!!!!!!

I don't have anything specific, so idk, satoru with a five years old daughter? he would be such a cute and loving father 😓 i’m done, this life where I can't have satoru’s baby is killing me!!!!

this idea is so cute. i literally think about satoru as a dad all the time and it gives me major baby fever.

—

you never once thought that you could ever be this happy. what did you do to deserve it? maybe it’s the universe paying you back for all the times you’ve suffered in life both alone and your relationship with satoru. you’d been dating since high school, but it wasn’t easy. there was so much ache, time spent apart, and issues that you didn’t know if you could overcome. sleepless nights, occasional arguments and interference from your jobs drove your relationship into rocky paths, but at the end of the day, he never forgot to tell you he loved you even when you felt like the most unloveable person alive. through all the difficult times, the highs and the lows, he was always there and never once intended on leaving, so he sealed that promise with a ring and his vows.

you got married a couple years after high school. you were only 22, but your life couldn’t have turned out more perfect. it’s been 10 years and the love never died down. if anything, it grows with each passing day. now that you have a five year old daughter together, there’s only more to look forward to in the days to come.

satorus been away on a mission for a few weeks and you still have no idea when he’s going to come back. it hurts your daughter just as much as it hurts you. everyday, she asks when he’s going to come home and it breaks your heart to tell her, “i don’t know, but it’ll be soon.” when you weren’t even sure yourself. thankfully, satoru could never forget about the two most important people in his life and remembers to call in the morning and before your daughter goes to sleep, never missing a day.

besides today. your phone hasn’t rang once and it’s making you uneasy, your head racing with the worst possible thoughts. you have faith in satoru and his strength, but you can’t help but worry about him. he works a dangerous job and coming home is never a 100% guarantee.

you’re snapped out of trance when you feel a tug on your dress and little voice. your daughter is looking up at you, small hands tightly balled around the fabric of your dress while her blue eyes, identical to her fathers start to well up with tears.

“what’s wrong, baby?” you ask, picking her up into your arms and brushing a strand of white hair away from her face.

she doesn’t say anything at first and just buries her face into your neck where she begins to cry.

you attempt to calm her down, patting her back and getting her to look at you once more, “please dont cry… tell me what’s wrong and i’ll make it better.”

she speaks through uneven breaths, chubby cheeks now stained with tear streaks, “i called daddy but he didn’t answer.” speaking these words only caused her to cry again and it breaks your heart.

“don’t worry, he’ll come back. he’s okay and he’s safe. he’s just busy.” but the words are a form of consolation to you too. you’re trying your best to remain strong for your daughter, but it’s hard. being a mom is hard.

you walk over to the couch in the living and sit down, setting her on your lap while you wipe away her stray tears.

“listen to me for a second, okay?”

she rests her head on your chest, her breathing still ragged, but she’s no longer crying.

“your dad works really really hard for us. he wants us to live a good life, so he can’t always be home and he can’t always pick up the phone, but he tries as much as he can. we just have to be patient and wait for him to come home again. but he loves you very much. if he doesn’t answer the phone, it’s because he’s busy, not because he forgot about you, okay? the last thing he wants is for you to think he’s forgotten about you.”

she nods her head in understanding before asking one last question, one you don’t know the answer to.

“but when will he come back?”

now, you’re the one who has tears prickling in the corners of your eyes as your throat begins to sting, “i don’t know.” you wish you knew. you wish you could tell her he’s coming back today or the day after, but the uncertainty nips at your thoughts constantly.

what you don’t expect is for satoru to be standing right outside the door to your shared home, overhearing everything you just said. it tugs at his heart strings, but he’s here now.

he digs through his pocket and pulls out his key to unlock the door, the familiar jangle echoing through the house and your daughter immediately runs up to the door, squealing when he makes his way inside.

he scoops her up into his arms and litters her face in kisses, holding onto her tightly, “i’ve missed you so much, munchkin.”

you stay frozen in your spot on the couch, going wide eyed as another tear falls down your cheek and you don’t even notice it.

he gives you a smile from across the room while your daughter babbles on and on to him about what he’s missed. he listens intently, cherishing the moments that she’ll be little for as long as he can.

“and at school, we went on a field trip to the park and i found a butterfly but it flew away,” she pouts, “daddy, can you get me a butterfly?”

he chuckles and nods his head, “of course i can.” he would never say no to her. she could ask him for a piece of the moon and he’d do it.

you watch as he tickles her belly and she erupts into laughter, grabbing onto his shoulder for support.

“i have a surprise for you,” he whispers, giving her cheek another big kiss.

she claps her hands together, “what is it?” excitement laced in her voice which makes satorus smile grow wider.

he shifts through his briefcase before pulling out a small box of munchkins, “munchkins for my munchkin!”

she lets out a near scream and takes the box in her grubby hands, already popping one in her mouth.

“daddy, say ahhh,” she says with a mouth full of munchkins.

satoru does as she tells him to and opens his mouth enough for her to feed one to him, “thank you, munchkin!”

your heart swells watching them interact. he’s a good dad. you both talked about being parents together so many times and now that it’s happened, it still doesn’t feel entirely real, like you’re dreaming, but if this were a dream, you wouldn’t open your eyes.

you stand up and walk over to him, wrapping your arms around his torso, tighter than usual, inhaling his scent which you’ve spent all this time missing. you feel whole again and your nerves have eased up.

he leans down and presses a chaste kiss to your lips, “hi, sweetheart.”

“i missed you.”

he wipes your tears away with the pad of his thumb before wrapping an arm around you, the other holding your daughter, “i missed you more. both of you. gosh, i felt like i was gonna die if i had to be away for another day.” it may sound like an exaggeration, but to satoru it’s nothing less than the truth. it was agonizing to be apart from his wife and the mini version of him. he missed waking up next to you, missed helping your daughter with her homework and reading bedtimes stories before bed.

but you’re together again and that’s all that matters. you’ve never been more relieved to watch a familiar face walk through the door.

[debonairprincesposts]

You answered my question perfectly and I'll be sure to request more Lucifer in the future (love our short king). But this time I'd like to request Charlie x reader angst if that's okay (totally not inspired by your last request 😅 and sorry it's a bit long).

Reader planning an evening out for their 1 year anniversary (with help and ideas from Lucifer), based on when she's supposed to be back. It's not until later on in the evening the reader finds out she's forgotten/changed her mind and gone for an evening out with Vaggie instead. Reader leaves a crumbled note on top of a bouquet of flowers and a new dress/suit they had brought just for her and that evening. Note is your typical breaking up and leaving, with the reader leaving the hotel to try and not be found and blocking her number.

Omg anon! I have no idea where you keep getting these ideas from! They’re absolutely *Chef's kiss*

I also just love how the reader and Lucifer are basically just bonding over Charlie. And I don't mind how long your messages are! I just love reading you guys' thoughts.

Anyway! Here is the angst you requested! Hope you like it :)

Enjoy (。•̀ᴗ-)✧

Forgotten

Charlie x Reader

You were filled with anticipation for today, a mix of excitement and nervousness. After all, it's your and Charlie's one-year anniversary! Your desire is to ensure that the day is flawlessly wonderful! You plan on buying her a gift and giving it to her during dinner.

One small issue tho-

You have no idea what to get her.

Maybe you could ask someone? Someone who's known Charlie for a very long time. Someone like maybe-

Lucifer!

Surely he'd know! He is her father after all. Surely he wouldn’t mind you calling about a matter such as this, right?

In slight anxiety, you pick up your phone to dial in Lucifer’s number. He gave it to you once Charlie revealed you two’s relationship to him. Saying to call him should you need anything cuz you are his ‘future Child-in-law’. You just hope he’s free enough to answer his phone.

He picks up on the third ring, “Hey kid! How are you doing these days?”

“Hello sir! I just uhm- kinda need your help with something.”

“Of course! Whatever you need, dear! What’s up?”

“Sooo- today is Charlie and I’s 1 year anniversary and I don’t know what to get her. I plan on buying her a gift and taking her out for dinner, but I have no idea what I’m supposed to get her. Do you perhaps have any ideas?”

Lucifer let out a gasp, “Totally! Maybe you can buy her new suit? She loves those.”

That’s brilliant! How come you didn’t think of that before!

“That’s a marvelous idea, sir! Thank you for your help!”

“Always happy to help, dear! Have fun with your anniversary!”

You both bid each other goodbye and hang up.

Okay! Time to go shopping!

You spent three hours trying to find the perfect suit. And it was absolutely beautiful. It should fit Charlie like a glove. She’ll absolutely love it. Now! All that needs to be done is give her this suit to wear and take her out for dinner! You try to give her call, but it went straight to voicemail mail. Worry fills your heart. It’s getting closer and closer to the time of the reservation and she’s still out of sight.

It’s getting pretty late, you’ll miss your reservation if you don’t leave now.

You go down to the lobby, maybe someone knows where she is. You see Husk and Angel Dust at the bar. Maybe they know.

“Hey guys! Have you seen Charlie? I haven’t seen her since this morning.”

“Haven’t seen her either, toots. Why? You need her for something?” Angel Dust turns to you as soon as you get closer.

“I’m taking her out for dinner, but she won’t return any of my calls.”

“She’s been out with Vaggie since this morning. Hasn’t been back since.” Says Husk before taking a swig of his bottle.

“I-I see. Thank you.”

Husk and Angel shoot either other a worried glance as you left. You were a pretty good friend to them. They didn’t like seeing you upset. But they figured it’s best they give you some space.

Another hour passed. You had completely missed your reservation. Being by yourself for a bit gave you time to reflect on your time with Charlie. It made you realize that this wasn’t the first time she’s done this. It always felt like you were a second priority to her. Every time you’d want to spend some time with her, she’d always make excuses about how she already made plans with Vaggie. And you know what? You’re done. If she wants to hang out with Vaggie so bad then you won’t stop her.

In your fit of heartbreak, you write a letter. The letter’s contents are that of a break up. Explaining how you’re done with her. How you’re done with always being second place. How you’re always second priority. You spent three freaking hours picking out a suit for her just for her not to show up.

After finishing up the letter, it being all crumbled from how hard you were gripping it and being stained with your tears, you take the bouquet of flowers you were going to give her and leave it on her bed next to her suit.

This is goodbye.

You start packing your bags. You weren’t going to stay with someone who never cared for you as much as you cared for them. When you’re done, you leave your phone behind. You’ll make sure to buy a new one with a new number and everything.

You exit through the fire escape and never look back.

And just like that, you’re gone.

Another request fulfilled!!! Finally! I was struggling with how I’m supposed to write this, but I think I made a decent piece. Hope you like it anon! Hopefully it’s up to your standards! Sorry it took me so long to write this. Anyway!

Stay healthy and hydrated!

Bye babes! ∠(ᐛ 」∠)

[rinhaler]

The Root Of The Apple

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Why is Megumi at your parents house warming party? And why is he such a psycho? Daddy issues, of course!

boyfriend!yuuji itadori x f!reader x bully!megumi fushiguro

WARNINGS : 18+, panic attack, mental health issues, alcohol consumption, drug taking, bullying, drugging mention, bladder failure mention, marking mention, family drama. 

WORDS : 5.8k

notes : two years years with hindsight i should not have added toji bc i want to fuck him so desperately 😭

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Unlike your hellish few days, Megumi’s were uneventful. After he choked you in the club, he took a cab home. His sister Tsumiki was fussing over him, much to his chagrin. She asked how his night went, if he had a good time, if he kissed any girls. She thought she was hilarious, but Megumi found her to be nothing but a nuisance.

He hates that he was trapped with her until he finishes university, being unable to move out from under her over protective thumb is painful for him. Tsumiki is invasive, irritating, and too God damn happy. And what’s worse, she’s not his real sister. He’ll never think of her as such, to him, Tsumiki is a means to an end.

He hates her. He hates his whole God damn family. But right now, right in this exact moment…

There’s nobody he hates more than you.

While you were still in a drug infused sleep, Megumi’s Wednesday was different. He went on as if everything was normal, he got a ride to university from Tsumiki. It’s rare she has the time to take him since she is usually at work.

He found the entire day dull. It pained him to admit it to himself, but he supposes part of him missed you. He was blissfully unaware of your coma-like state, he smiled into the pencil he was chewing in his mouth as he imagined that you’re terrified to come back to school for fear of seeing him. It gave him a sick sort of power trip, knowing what he’d done to you, what he’s doing to you.

He’s sick.

But it’s okay that he’s sick, because he knows.

He knows he’s fucked up, and everything he’s doing to you is fucked up.

But Christ it’s fun.

Thursday is the same, although he’s grateful he gets to finish the school day earlier. But as he walks through the parking lot, he pauses when he doesn’t see Yuuji’s car in its usual spot. He didn’t think twice about it yesterday.

Of course perfect Yuuji would want to stay home and play the role of the doting boyfriend, protecting you from the big bad bully, wrapping you in cotton wool and shielding you from the world. But today is the second day Yuuji hasn’t been to school.

Megumi would never admit it out loud, but his blood ran cold at the thought that something terrible had happened.

He arrives home, his sister nowhere in sight. Megumi dumped his backpack and sprawled out on the couch. And against every voice in his head telling him not to, his resolve crumbles, and his thumbs involuntarily types your name into Facebook.

He couldn’t see much since you weren’t friends, but he thought he might be able to see if anyone had said something about what happened.

Alas, there was nothing.

He decides to try and put it to the back of his mind.

Within the hour, Tsumiki is home. She begins preparing dinner for the two of them. She waffles on about her boring, mundane workday. She hasn’t even realised that Megumi has his headphones on and is completely tuning her out. An eyebrow quirked on his face when a text came through to his phone.

Nina: Megumi omg baby we are in soooooo much trouble! 😳😟💘xxx

Megumi’s thumbs hover above the keyboard momentarily as he contemplates how he should reply. One thought ran through his mind.

Who the fuck is Nina?

It had to be one of those annoying sluts from his class. But was it the blonde or the redhead? They’re both practically the same save for the hair colour.

He can barely remember which one he fingered; he thinks it’s the blonde.

It had to be her, surely the other one wouldn’t be so bold as to call him baby. He shudders and gags as he thinks of the pet name. The more he debates formulating a reply, he opts to not bother.

Megumi technically didn’t do anything wrong.

Hours pass, it's close to 1am. Tsumiki never normally stays up this late, but she has the day off tomorrow and was enjoying watching movies with Megumi.

Well, she thought they were watching together.

Megumi is just in the room playing on his phone, pretending she didn’t exist, as usual. Just as he was about to go upstairs, the siblings both startle at the sound of an ominously loud knock. Tsumiki looks at him, as if to ask if he was expecting anyone. He shakes his head in response, so she gets up and looks through the peep hole.

She gasps, and opens the door quickly after she’d spotted who was outside.

Megumi isn’t ashamed to admit that his stomach drops when he realises the police are at his door. And the disappointed look in Tsumiki’s eyes as she hears them ask if Megumi Fushiguro is home make his insides churn. She welcomes them in, clearing space for them to sit on the sofa.

Megumi sits down next to her, she wraps an unwelcome arm around him, a sign of solidarity.

“There’s been a serious allegation made against you Megumi.” one of the officers speaks. Megumi hears his sister’s breath hitch, but he clears his throat and tries to remain calm.

“In regard to what? I’m not sure what you’re referring to.” he answers simply. The officers look at each other quickly before giving him their attention once again, as if they’ve already decided he's guilty.

“A classmate of yours has accused you and two others of drugging her in the early hours of Wednesday morning. Do you know anything about that?” the policeman asks. Megumi does his best to stay composed, shaking his head in response.

“Megumi would never—”

“Please don’t interrupted miss.” the other policeman speaks. Tsumiki bites her tongue as she sinks back in her seat. His attention focuses back on Megumi before he starts flipping through a notebook. “This young woman was in a terrible state. I won’t go into too many details, but she was publicly humiliated and has been unconscious for the last two days.” he explains. Megumi’s jaw bubbles as he tried to supress his emotions, Tsumiki’s hands cover her mouth in horror as her ears digest the information. She leans forwards timidly, as if to ask permission to speak.

“I- sorry, what do you mean by publicly humiliated?” she wonders.

The officer clears his throat, unsure whether he should say. The other nods, wanting to fill them in. Megumi knew their little game. They think if they tug at his heartstrings and make him feel guilty, his emotions will give him away. He didn’t know what happened after he left; he told the girls that the drug will be enough to make her embarrass herself.

“When she was discovered on the bathroom floor in the club, we were informed that she had urinated and vomited on herself on account of the drugging.” they explain.

Megumi has to do everything in his power to supress his laughter.

He knew you’d find a way to make a fool of yourself when it was in your system, but that really cut the cake.

“That’s awful.” Tsumiki says softly.

“As well as that,” the officer speaks again, commanding the sibling’s attention, “the t-shirt she’d worn that night appeared to be cut open with a pair of scissors. We could tell from the CCTV from the night of the incident that someone had written the word 'bitch' across her body. According to the woman’s partner it was written in lipstick.” he tells them.

Megumi managed to keep composed, although he was seething. Those idiot incompetent girls could be the undoing of him. He specifically told them that they had nothing else to do other than slip the pill in your drink. Their petty jealousy had clearly gotten the better of them, and it could fuck them all up well and truly.

Tsumiki gasps when she hears the final sentence from the officer. She assures them that Megumi could never do anything so horrible. They look at him, and he knew he had to speak.

“I don’t know anything about that. I left earlier than most, I got a cab. My sister was awake when I got back, and I’m sure the CCTV can prove that I wasn’t there.” he tells them calmly.

“How do you know you were gone before it happened?” the officer asks, feeling clever, feeling like he trapped Megumi in a lie.

“Because you said it was the early hours of Wednesday morning. I had left the club by 11:30pm, like I said, the CCTV will be able to prove I left early. This incident has nothing to do with me,” Megumi stands to his feet, knowing he’s won and has no interest in carrying on the discussion anymore. The policemen knew as well as he did that it was your word against his, he feels untouchable. “Whoever she is, I hope you can get some justice for her.” he tells them, smugly. His sister beams up at him with so much pride. Her little brother is so good, so respectable, he’s perfect in her eyes.

If only she knew.

She shows the men out of their home, requesting he get in touch if he remembers anything that might help their case. Megumi finally retreats to the safety of his bedroom, feeling cocky and proud of himself for slithering his way through your feeble attempt to get him arrested. He feels like a god. He feels invincible. An electric excitement jolts through him as he wonders when he might see you next.

What he can do to you next.

Friday brings another uneventful day, he really fucking misses you.

It sounds more romantic than it is.

Maybe it is, in some twisted way, treat them mean to keep them keen.

And he is downright vile to you. He doesn’t feel anything but pure unadulterated hatred for you. You’re too fucking nice, like his sister. No one is that nice. The way you felt compelled to compliment his art whenever you had the audacity to lean over and observe his sketchbook. And every time you did it, it was pictures of him. He thinks he hates you the most. And then when he remembers that man, that scumbag, he takes first place. If you could have just shut your fucking mouth, if you didn’t feel so compelled to start talking about those pictures of him, maybe you wouldn’t be paying the price now.

Megumi arrives home from his boring school day and kicks the door shut behind him with his foot. He's furious. The combination of his hatred for you and his father is too much. All he wants to do is go to his room, get changed and head outside for a few hours to clear his head. But when Tsumiki stops him from going to his room, he just about bites her head off.

“What?!” he barks. The volume makes her jump, but she simply smiles as she prepares to speak.

“Dad called.” she told him.

“My dad. Don’t say dad as if he’s your dad too. What did he want?” he moans at her. Her smile pulls downwards into a frown at his rude and hurtful words. She was about to answer him again, but before she can she's interrupted by the creaking of stairs. The siblings look to the source, and Megumi’s blood boils at the sight.

“That’s no way to talk to your sister.” Toji speaks. He’s just showered. He's wearing some grey joggers and his chest is bare, he's in the middle of the process of pulling a shirt over his head. His shirt clung to his water-soaked body in all of the right places, it's almost a little pornographic considering how innocent of an act it was.

His children almost didn’t want to look at him because it's so unintentionally erotic. Although Megumi doesn’t like to look at him anyway. “It’s been a while son. You don’t mind if I take him for a drive do you Tsumiki? Got some things I wanna talk to ‘im about.” Toji smiles at the young woman who nods enthusiastically.

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” Megumi spits.

“I wasn’t fuckin’ askin’ so get your scrawny ass in the car and stop bitchin’ at me.” Toji commands, walking ahead and leaving through the front door.

What Megumi hates most about Toji is no matter how much he hates him, how much he knows he’ll never change, he still – for some unknown reason – craves his approval. He knew his son would follow him through the door, that’s why he didn’t wait for him to start moving his feet. Because within seconds, Megumi is following him through that very same front door.

The silence in the car is deafening.

Toji is feeling the need to drag out whatever it is he wants to discuss, and Megumi has absolutely no desire to make idle chit-chat with his piece of shit father. The new car doesn’t go unnoticed. Megumi can feel his blood bubbling with rage through his veins.

When Megumi’s mother died, Toji went off the rails and he brought Megumi right along with him.

He was a downright mess. He drank, he did drugs, anything to forget. And Megumi didn’t understand. All he knew was that he lost his mother, and his daddy wasn’t his daddy anymore.

Toji could barely stomach looking at him, he reminded him too much of his dead wife. Although he found a new wife to go off the rails with, and that’s how Tsumiki entered the fray.

They were both terrible for each other and they fed off each other’s toxicity. Megumi couldn’t bear to look at his father without reliving his trauma, his unresolved resentment coursing through his fragile skin.

He understood that his father was hurting, but he was too. He lost his mother. And instead of taking care of his son, being there for him, helping him heal. He found a new wife, narcotics, and shady ways of making money. That was more important than being a dad, apparently, and this new car, his new set of wheels that reeked of money and sin, makes his body fail him.

Megumi isn’t sad. He's never sad. What he's feeling right now, some may call a broken heart. But not him. To Megumi, the way his heart feels being in such close proximity to his father is different.

It didn’t feel broken. It feels shredded.

It feels like it has been wrapped in barbed wire, and when he was near this pathetic excuse of a human being it did all it could to bulge out of its piercing prison. Chunks escaped, sure, but they were destroyed. The rest of his heart is stained, bruised and pouring blood. He couldn’t bear it.

Megumi couldn’t bear it.

“Let me out,” Megumi speaks, his breathing intensifying. His chest rising and falling rapidly.

“What? Kid, stop bein’ a bra—”

“Dad! Stop the car!” he screams. He stares at his father, begging him to listen to him.

When Toji looks over to where his son is seated, he doesn’t recognise who he's looking at. Snot and tears dribble down his face. His eyes are puffy and red, totally bloodshot. His white irises cracked with red uncomfortable veins that made Toji’s heart stop for a brief second.

This isn’t Megumi. Megumi doesn’t get like this, he’s never seen him like this. But what has Toji seen him like? He’s seen gloomy, stoic Megumi.

That’s all he sees on his fleeting visits.

Toji pulls the car over and Megumi scarpers out as quickly as he can. Toji takes his time turning off the car, finding a pair of sunglasses in the glove compartment before stepping out to tend to his child. He approaches him slowly. Wallet, phone and keys all rested skilfully in one hand.

Megumi doubles over, clear vomit evading the pit of his stomach. Toji grimaces at the sight, what the hell was wrong with him? His son is trembling, still. When he isn’t vomiting he's taking in sharp, heavy breaths, he almost sounds like he's screaming.

The desperation in his inhales are so eerie, like someone dragging a sharp knife down a windowpane.

Megumi is disgusted with himself.

It's all too much for him, reminiscing on his childhood and the closure he’d never get. The fact that his father thinks he’s allowed to pop into his life if and when he chooses.

He expects Megumi to drop everything and anything he’s doing to spend time with him and do as he’s told.

And the worst part? He does it.

He fights him every step of the way, but still, he does it.

Why does he do it? He hates him. Toji knows he hates him, too. Every conversation they have is surface level toleration or a heated argument. But Toji knows, no matter what, Megumi wants to please his father. Because he left him to fend for himself, he left him without a friend in the world. So, whenever Megumi gets the chance, he wants to prove himself to his father.

That’s why.

Megumi needs his father’s approval.

“The fuck’s wrong with you kid? Panic attack?” Toji questions as he towers above his son.

Megumi collapses onto his backside, mouth agape as he manages to calm himself down. He wants to rip his dad’s throat out for talking to him like that. But he doesn’t have the energy. He just can’t.

“Shut up, Toji.” he commands, making his father roll his eyes. An act of petty defiance, to call him by his name instead of dad. It doesn’t bother Toji, he couldn’t care less. He knows he’s a shit dad, he didn’t sign up for it anyway. He doesn’t care, he probably never will.

“Get up, there’s a coffee shop over there I’ll get you some water.” he tells him, hoping the offer will be enough to entice him off the ground.

Megumi blanks him though, still focusing on his breathing and trying to coax himself into feeling better so he can go home. Toji isn’t a man who likes to be ignored, Megumi is lucky he’s his kid right now. Anyone else would be in for a world of hurt.

But instead, Toji slowly raises his foot off the ground. He inches his dirty dust clad shoe closer to his boy’s face. Megumi side eyes the muddy soled loafer, piercing green eyes threatening him to back off.

However, Megumi forgets who he inherited those intimidating emerald orbs from.

Toji doesn’t take lightly to threats, and he hasn’t gotten where he is by being frightened by a simple look. His filthy shoe is millimetres from Megumi’s face, “I said get up kid.” and with Megumi ignoring him yet again, Toji has to make good on his threat. He gently kicks the bottom of his foot into his son’s face. Megumi grabs his ankle and pushes him away, springing to his feet soon after to ball his fists in his dad’s shirt.

“Why the fuck are you here now? What do you want? You only come when you want something so out with it.” Megumi hisses, his face mere inches from his dad’s. Toji raises his hand in surrender with that signature shit-eating grin on his face. But Megumi’s fists grasp harder, for the first time in his life he feels strong. Stronger than him. He shoves him backwards and pins him against the car. “What do you want Toji?!”

Toji, however, is over this little game. Megumi never has been, and never will be, stronger than him. He’d never hurt his son. He does love him, in his own fucked up way. He’s his after all. But he doesn’t love him enough to let him disrespect him in his quest for validation and superiority. He grabs his junior by the base of the neck, removing his sunglasses and peering intensely into his child’s eyes. Fear shudders through Megumi, and he lets go. But Toji doesn’t.

“Get in the fuckin’ car. Dumbass. I’ll go get you a drink,” and with that he releases Megumi from his grip, crossing the road seamlessly. Commanding the traffic around him to stop as he approaches the coffee shop.

Megumi gets into the car. It’s hot. Fuck, it’s hot. His breathing is intensifying again. He hastily removes his jacket with shaky hands.

His father has only been gone for a few minutes, but his gaze is flitting between the windscreen window and the coffee shop. He balls his jacket up and shoves his face into it, screaming all of the air in his lungs out into the material. He just screams. It feels like he can’t stop, the oxygen will never be out of him.

He needs it out, he needs to breathe out this day, this experience.

But he can’t.

It’s lingering in his lungs, itching away at him. Little spindly legs crawling around inside of him like spiders, biting and tapping inside of him searching for a way out.

There’s no way out. He can’t breathe. He wants to rip his fucking heart out and let his dad drive and reverse over it until it’s unrecognisable.

His head drops between his knees, his hands interlocking behind his head trapping tufts of his unruly onyx locks.

He startles a little when his father opens the car door and sits behind the wheel. Toji could swear he saw him jump a little again when he slams the door shut behind him.

“Here,” his dad speaks, holding two bottles out to him. Megumi peers up to see them. One is water, and the other is a chilled glass bottle of beer. Why did he get him this? “Might steady yer fuckin’ nerves. What happened to you? Never seen y’like this before,” Toji states, not expecting a direct answer from Megumi, but daring to ask anyway.

Megumi twists the plastic cap off his water bottle. He doesn’t sip, he gulps. And he gulped, and gulped, and gulped, until the plastic bottle was contorting and creasing as he sucked the air out and his heavy fist gripped tighter around the soft material. Toji offers a teasing ‘think ya got it’ hoping it would make Megumi give up trying to get the last lingering droplets out of the plastic container.

He was right, he did get it.

It just isn’t enough. It does nothing to drown that unbearable itch inside of him. So, he slouched back in his seat, at least a little calmer for having something else to focus on.

“I’m fucked up.”

And he laughs.

It's manic. If you could see him now, God if you could see what a pathetic miserable shell he is right now.

It’s symbolic really, how insanely he’s laughing. You’d actually see a similarity between the two of you. He was almost laughing as insanely as you had been as you destroyed his artwork, probably more so.

He's unhinged. And for the first time in his life, he thinks Toji is scared. His face hurts from the way his cheeks are pulling as he laughs. If he was normal, his stomach would be aching. Because that’s what is meant to happen when people laugh. Right? When people truly laugh at something, you feel it in your belly. But fuck, Megumi isn’t normal.

He’s breaking apart.

Toji grabs his shoulder, and in an instant the laughter stops. Megumi’s face turns, his eyes snap to find his father’s matching ones. His smile is gone, but his eyebrow quivers as he studies his father’s features.

“Oh, fuck, scared you huh?” Megumi asks. Toji scoffs and lets go of him, starting the car up to drive away instead. But before he does, he takes his sons beer bottle between his teeth and bites the lid off. He spits it down on the floor of his car beneath him and gives it to Megumi. And Megumi drinks it, seeming to enjoy the taste.

That’s doing it.

That’s drowning his demons.

His attention is back on Toji as he’s driving.

And looking at him now, that is the father he knows.

He’s just driving as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. Like his son hasn’t just totally snapped before his very eyes. He’s snapped already, so why not push him a little more. Megumi punches his arm, causing Toji’s steering to waver.

“Stupid little idiot, fucks wrong with you? Don’t fuckin’ touch me while I’m drivin’.” he barks at his son. But he doesn’t stop. He punches him again, again and again. He slams harshly on the breaks, engulfing his sons whole face in one fist. He smothers his face and forcefully pushes him back into the passenger side door. “Hey! Did I fuckin’ stutter?”

“Did I fuckin’ scare you dad? You looked a little concerned you piece of shit! Ya fuckin’ deadbeat…” Megumi yells, fighting back the tears that were building, slithering behind his eyes threatening to spill at any moment.

“Pfft. Grow up Megumi. You’re not fifteen anymore,”

“Yeah, I was fucked up then never mind now.” Megumi spits at him.

“God, shut up.” Toji seethes as he softly slaps Megumi on the side of his face, pointing to the tip of his nose, demanding his attention. “You’re not fucked up. You’re fine. Y��think everyone doesn’t get like this? Y’think I never get like this? I wanna rip my fuckin’ skin off when I think about how fucked everything is for too long.” he tells his son sternly, trying to be calm but firm with him.

“You—” Megumi manages to croak out before Toji interrupts.

“Yeah, me. I fuckin’ left you. Never said sorry did I? Would you believe me if I said I was sorry? I don’t know if I am kid, that’s the problem. Had to fuckin’ split, couldn’t handle it. But if it helps, sure. I’m sorry. It was fucked.” Toji tells him.

Megumi is in awe.

This is the most they’d ever talked in their lives. Everything they discuss is surface level pleasantries that are meaningless. And he apologised. He can’t apologise. He’s said the word sorry but the itch is still there. He doesn’t mean it, he said himself he doesn’t mean it. This can’t be it, this can’t be everything Megumi has been waiting to hear to fix him. Anger and resentment he’s clung onto for so long, dying as he awaited the moment he’d finally get an apology or an explanation.

And this was it.

This was all he’d waited for, and it wasn’t good enough. It’ll never be good enough. He’s going to be stuck with this itch for the rest of his life.

“Are you kidding me? You think that’s good enough?” Megumi questions, fists balled as he argues with himself whether to punch Toji again. “I’m sorry, but I’m not really sorry because I had too. Huh, asshole? You really think that’s good enough?!” Megumi bellows, lip quivering as he clenches his teeth together.

“Don’tcha get it? Idiot. Nothing I say’ll ever be good enough. I fuckin’ left you alone after your mother died. Whether I mean it or not, it won’t stop fuckin’ hurtin’ kid. You got more than I ever did. The Zen’in used to lock me up and beat the shit out of me.” he angles the right side of his face and points to the scar on his lip, “they gave me this for the pleasure, think I ever got a fuckin’ sorry? No. Fake or sincere, nothin’. Think holdin’ a grudge is gonna fix anything?”

Megumi has been vibrating with anger the entire conversation.

All he wants to do was smash the glass of beer he has and stab the jagged shards into Toji’s neck. He's furious.

There is some truth to his words, sure, but he's so fucking casual. Like Megumi is meant to take everything he's saying as gospel, accepting it as absolute truth and living his life by them from now on.

He’s been vibrating with anger through the entire conversation, until he thought of you. He can’t smile; but his clenching jaw relaxes when visions of you enter his mind.

It's just as well, Toji thinks if he clenched any harder his son’s teeth would smash to pieces. It was something Toji said that made him think of you.

Think holdin’ a grudge is gonna fix anything?

No. But it helps. He’s sure you’d have the same thought process as Toji, you’d be desperate to end the vendetta Megumi has against you. But if he didn’t hate his father, if he didn’t hate you, how else would he cope?

How else would he control the itch?

Megumi allows his body to go limp, looking over to Toji with a side-eye glance. He huffs, allowing his chest to rise and fall in one heavy dramatic breath.

“What do you want, dad?”

Toji kisses his teeth, contemplating how to speak. How to ask. But Megumi has honestly had enough of fucking around today, dancing around subjects and rowing with each other. He just wants to know, and that is something Toji could plainly see in his son’s defeated body. So, he comes right out and says it, not wanting to beat around the bush.

“Tomorrow,” he begins, looking around at everything in the car other than his son. But his gaze settles, their emerald eyes meeting once again. “There’s a big shindig, all of the Zen’in are goin’. You need to be there.”

And that’s how Megumi found himself in a town car on his way to your parent’s new manor home.

Toji didn’t offer him a ride, of course.

Megumi suspects his father will be feeling uncomfortable after their argument yesterday, but in reality Toji is having a good parenting moment. He felt it necessary to give his son some space to cool down after their heated conversation.

The closer the car got to the ridiculously enormous manor; butterflies joined the itching in the pit of Megumi’s stomach. He tries to clear his throat and take deep breaths, but it wasn’t helping.

He fishes around in his inside jacket pockets. He pulls out a mirror from the right pocket and a baggie of cocaine and a razor from the other.

The car slows as it pulls into the gates, manoeuvring around the intricate landscaping. He takes the opportunity to make a white powdery line atop the mirror resting on his lap. He doesn’t care what the driver thinks of him, he’s sure Toji does the same if not worse whenever he's in here.

He snorts it, slowly. It’s been a while since he’s let this be a vice of his.

Megumi isn’t stupid, no, he’s careful. He will be careful with his vices. But when the car stops below the staircase that lead to the daunting double doors, he sags back into the plush leather seats of the car.

“D’ya mind if I just wait here for a minute?” Megumi asks, the man shakes his head, much to Megumi’s delight.

It’s been a while since he’s been to a Zen’in get together. When he and Tsumiki moved away, he managed to avoid them and Toji like the plague.

It's harrowing, really, that he had to walk into a strangers home, alone. To see a family who did nothing but chastise and disapprove. A family he barely knew but still felt it necessary to try and control aspects of his life and look down on each and every little thing he did.

But he relaxes. He wipes his nose of the white dust and takes a deep breath. He gets out of the car, slamming it aggressively behind him. He ascended the stairs. Breathing shallow breaths as he prepares himself for the hell he's about to endure.

He rests his finger on the doorbell, he can’t seem to take his finger off it. Air is knocked from his lungs when the door opens, almost being ripped from its hinges.

What the fuck are you two doing here?

He can’t help but stare, completely in awe at the sight. You’re looking at him differently, like you know him. Like you’ve had a look into the window of his damaged soul.

What the fuck are you staring at?

Megumi clears his throat, and you're staring soon turns to dismay, irritation. Megumi thinks you’re just processing what is happening, the unlikely coincidence of it all.

Are you still scared of him?

Terrified of what he’ll do to you?

Or are you safe now, because dear old Yuji is here?

Megumi takes in the sight of both of you, but drinks up the vision of you. He can’t believe it. You’re really here. He opens his mouth, smiling sadistically, knowing whatever he does will get a reaction out of you.

“Well well, what do we have here?” Megumi questions, crossing his arms across his chest as he waits for a response.

Yuuji looks feral, like he wants to skin him alive. It’s sad, really, that his best friend has let a useless cunt come between them. Megumi won’t disown him, but he knows Yuuji won’t claim him as his friend anymore. He’ll always be Megumi’s. Yuuji pulls your hand to bring you closer to his body. He’s sure Yuuji can feel you shaking like a frightened lamb against him, because even from this distance, Megumi can see it.

“Get out of the way Fushiguro,” Yuuji demands, holding your body as tightly as he can to give you the feeling of safety you’re so desperate for.

But of course, Megumi doesn’t move.

He doesn’t sidestep to allow you past.

He just stares. And Yuuji’s temper flares when he stops staring at you both, but through you. Because a dastardly grin stretches across Megumi’s pretty face.

While Yuuji is staring, shaking and furious, while you’re trembling, terrified and on the brink of tears, he sees who he can only assume are the owners of the house, who he can only assume are your parents, are walking through the foyer and approaching you. It’s like he’s watching a movie in slow motion. And it just gets better when his own dad lollygags behind them, leaning on a doorframe further down the hall as he watches your mother and father chase after you.

Megumi knows you’re not going anywhere.

Megumi knows your parents will beg, plead for you to stay. What will people say if you leave the party earlier? They’ll be the talk of high society. A simple, elegant party couldn’t go off without a hitch because their selfish daughter ruined it all.

No.

That’s not you.

The few brief days he’s known you, something he can see about you is clear. You, perfect, sweet girl, are a people pleaser.

Megumi’s smiling. And he’s smiling hard.

Because you aren’t going anywhere.

© 2021 fuwushiguro | © 2023 fuwushiguro

[thanksjro]

Transformers Holiday Special (2015) — Wishing You and Yours a Delightfully Secular Wintertime, Containing Absolutely Zero References to the Birth of Christ

Despite what some might like to think, Christmas isn’t for everyone; even with all the commercialization, at its heart, it’s still about the Baby Jesus. You can tell that we haven’t shaken the Christian connection, because the cover for this special issue has the father, the son, and the holy spirit, which is hidden behind the company logo.

And if Rodimus doesn’t stop screwing around, his resurrection’s gonna have to happen a lot sooner than Easter.

Because this is a comic special, things are going to be a little different. Instead of one standard-size issue, we’re getting three mini-stories, each with their own writer (from each of the comic runs that were publishing at the time) and artist. Our stories are listed here:

Don’t worry about what Ultra Magnus is up to behind that text.

Now, you may ask, why on earth am I covering this issue, which is a specifically Christmassy one, now, when it’s not currently Christmas? Well, according to Roberts, the story “Silent Light” takes place after MTMTE #49, and #50 is when the crew manifest for the Lost Light gets shaved down some, so realistically, this is when “Silent Light” happens in continuity. So I want you to keep in mind that Getaway’s Christmas isn’t going so great.

I won’t be going back to catch up on the other runs’ plots, as the Christmas stories are stand-alone.

Getting into it, our first story is:

Penned by Mairghread Scott and drawn by Corin Howell. We open up on a cityscape featuring a happy sun and some eye-searing narration boxes.

I went to Howell’s Twitter to see what her deal was, and was greeted with a banner consisting of a sexy succubus lady with her boobies out, so I’m going to assume she simplified her style for this issue, since mecha are hella difficult to draw.

Also, I hope you like the structure of How The Grinch Stole Christmas!, because that’s what we’re getting for the next little while, complete with chunky, white text on painful-to-view red.

Our story opens with all the transformers from the colonies visiting Cybertron and making friends with each other. Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts, which pisses off President-King Starscream to no end. Being the drama queen that he is, Starscream feels that everyone should be paying attention to him 24/7 and feed him grapes as he reclines on a sofa, because hasn’t he done enough for all these sorry sacks of shit? He hasn’t even caused a war, unlike the last guy who was in charge. Bumblebee (who is a ghost) tells him to just be fucking nice for once in his miserable life, but Starscream wouldn’t be Starscream if he could settle down like that.

Our god-king of the planet calls for his aide, Rattrap, who is going to be in his alt mode for the entirety of this story, to help him set up for a public broadcast addressing his need for attention and adoration.

He sends Rattrap off to deliver the tape to the news, which seems to consist of two very sleep-deprived individuals. Because they’re apparently the only two robots stupid enough to attempt to cover the nightmare hellscape that is Cybertronian current events, the last bit of Starscream’s tape is cut off when one of them falls asleep on the switchboard. This turns Starscream’s personal worship holiday into “For the Love of God Be Nice to Each Other” Day. Everyone takes to it beautifully, getting BFF tattoos, going on vacation with their husbands, hugging in the straightest gay way possible, holding parades, giving each other bombs, and getting absolutely shitfaced.

Starscream, distraught that nobody is giving him the emperor treatment like he had wanted, sulks in his twin bed, then moves to his dinky little throne as the night wears on, making the most miserable faces he can the whole time. Eventually, Chosen One Day ends, and he’s been completely ignored. Very sad.

Then, there’s a knock on his door, and Starscream creeps over to the peephole just in time to be smashed flat by Wheeljack slamming the door open. Last time we saw Wheeljack he was assumed dead by most, and floating in a tank at Starscream’s behest. He’s gotten better since then, clearly.

Wheeljack came with friends— the entirety of the main cast for Windblade/Til All Are One, to be exact— and they’re here to make sure that Starscream isn’t completely alone on this friendship holiday he accidentally invented. Everyone toasts to his good, totally intentional idea, and Starscream decides against killing all of them for at least the next 24 hours.

Now pay attention to this next story, because it’s actually canon-relevant, because of course Roberts would write a holiday special mini-comic that ties into his overarching plot. Fucking nerd.

Our artist for “Silent Light” is Kotteri (or Kotteri!, as it’s been written on some of their other publications) the pen name for Ikumi Fukuda. Kotteri is primarily a manga artist, having created their own works and well as working on other projects. I admittedly can’t find much on this person, not even their preferred pronouns, TFWiki itself using “they”, which I will default to. All of the info they’ve provided themself is, of course, written in Japanese, but even running things through a translator only proves that information to be purely professional. Their personal Twitter is protected, and my follow request was never answered, as far as I know. There’s a fan Twitter account for their art that claims “she”, but I have no way to verify, and I don’t want to assume anything based on art style, because that’s sort of shitty. Let it never be said that I didn’t do my due diligence here— I fucking hate using Twitter.

We open with Rodimus having just returned from Meteorfest, a festival where you surf on meteors and avoid your co-captain and SIC’s calls like the putz you are. He’s greeted by said co-captain and SIC decorating assembling a Christmas tree cloaking machine and finishing each other’s sentences like an old married couple. Rodimus tries to deny the existence of Minimegs, then we get our heavy-handed and lampshaded explanation for the crux of the issue. Megatron handles Minimus like a baby doll as the two of them explain that the Lost Light is about to hit Mauler territory.

Maulers are notorious for wanting the Cybertronians dead, but Megatron is too much of a macho man to pussy out and go around them. So instead, the crew will be hiding in special sleeping pods that will mask their spark signatures, and pray to their pantheon of gods that no one notices the ship the size of Manhattan. Brainstorm has like fifteen new inventions, despite being on house arrest from his lab. Megatron’s autobot badge is wearing a hat. Merry fucking Christmas.

Over at Swerve’s, it would appear that everyone’s favorite television junkie is closed for business, as it’s just him, Nautica, and Whirl, sitting on the floor getting absolutely shit-faced on subspace-filtered engex. This might’ve been an issue, as folks are supposed to be bedding down in their B.E.D.s for the next leg of the trip, but Swerve slipped Magnus some Bing Crosby earlier so they’re cool right now.

There’s a banging at the door, and Whirl decides to answer, even though it’s not his bar, because if it’s trouble come a-knocking, it was probably looking for Whirl anyhow.

When Whirl answers, however, it’s not Magnus having caught wind of Nautica disrespecting the Autobot code, but an entirely different flavor of problem.

Now, I know that thing Whirl’s holding looks like a fucked up Hitachi Wand, but it is, in fact, an entire-ass baby robot. It seems that when Cerebros (Fortress Maximus’s friend, if you’ll recall) sent the engex through the subspace, this infant Cybertronian (Luna One-ian?) got mixed in with the other supplies.

We learn a bit about how baby Cybertronians work before we remember, oh right, this kid is gonna get everyone killed if they catch wind of her spark, since there isn’t a B.E.D. for her. Yes, it’s a girl! Congrats to our three idiots on their Cybertronian gender non-conforming little princess.

They gang decides to shunt her back through the subspace hatch, so they head over to where it’s currently being housed— the office of Ultra Magnus. Nautica, using her wits and all the tools in her arsenal, smashes the window to the office and they break in. The empty Magnus Armor sits in the dark like a grim monument to being married to your job. Whirl informs Nautica how to comfort the baby that he super for-sure doesn’t care about, handing her off while he uses his titty glass to replace the window in the door. Swerve tries to bite through iron chains holding the subspace hatch hostage, only to be stopped by the sound of justice coming down the hall.

The gang, of course, looks suspicious as hell standing stock straight immediately in front of Magnus’s office, but Minimus rather likes the change of pace out of these goofy morons, and is maybe also trying to deflect his embarrassment at being caught performing his own personal karaoke. He sends them off to their B.E.D.s, and it looks like all’s well that ends well until Whirl asks where Sparky is.

Yes, he named the baby.

Don’t worry though, he’s totally not attached or whatever.

Nautica, in her panic to not be caught stealing/vandalizing/using equipment she doesn’t have the clearance for, stuffed Sparky in the Magnus Armor. And also put the helmet portion back on the body, for some reason. Anyway, it looks like our little princess is gonna be a load-bearer when she grows up, because Magnus is up and looking for hugs. Nautica, a paragon of level-headed thinking in times of crisis, handles this in the best way she can.

And that’s a wrap on Minimus Ambus! Let’s give him a hand, folks! And let’s also give a hand to the new Ultra Magnus, Miss Sparky Whirldòttir! Where did that little scamp get to, anyhow?

Swerve nominates himself to be the one to drag Minimus to a B.E.D. to sleep off his concussion, leaving Whirl and Nautica to track down the baby.

The scene changes to Megatron announcing a last call for beddy-bye time on the intercom, just as Ultra Sparky enters the room. She looms over Megatron, putting him in a very compromising position as he hits the intercom button with his arm. Rodimus, climbing into his own B.E.D., wishes that his co-captain and SIC would stop being gay for, like, five minutes, or at least wouldn’t do it where it can be broadcasted throughout the whole ship in audio format.

Whirl and Nautica come save Megatron from the onslaught of physical affection, stating that “Magnus” has had a bit too much to drink. Megatron orders them to bed from his fetal position on the countertop.

It’s bedtime, but we still haven’t figured out how to get the kid back to Luna 1 so the Maulers don’t super-murder the whole crew. Nautica leaves Whirl to figure it out, getting into B.E.D. and wondering who the fuck knocked on the door in the first place. Whirl tells her not to worry about it and to go to sleep, so he can be the one to deal with this mess.

Whirl, notorious for doing all the nastiest jobs— former Wrecker, intended bullet sponge for the time travel situation, attempting suicide via Megatron— is going to add another tally to the list labeled “Reasons My Peers Don’t Really Like Me All That Much”, by throwing an entire baby out the air lock.

However, Whirl is being written by Roberts, who would never allow the number of robot babies to go down, so Sparky’s adorable assimilation of Whirl’s signature physical features gets him right in the soft underbelly he swears doesn’t exist.

Wow, Roberts put a baby in that robot. Surely this is as overt as we’re going to get with this imagery, since we’re in a major publication and not some fan-fiction!

ANYWAY

Whirl wakes up in the Medibay, emptied of infant and freaked the hell out about it. Velocity— who I will remind you is basically the only medical doctor on the Lost Light, since everyone else is too busy getting railed by weeaboos and joining unethical polycules to do their actual jobs—informs him that his daughter is, in actuality, a massive colony of scraplets that combined to look like a newborn.

It turns out that Nautica is a bit of a snitch, having spilled the beans after she woke up. Whether or not she thought Whirl had thrown the baby out the air lock isn’t really addressed, but thank god he didn’t, because then we would have had to send everyone’s favorite gun-addled dipshit to jail for the rest of forever. Checking security footage revealed who the mystery knocker was— it was the scraplets, forming the shape of an arm.

When Nautica asks how the hell they all survived this, seeing as Whirl kept the murder baby, Whirl informs her that he cut off power to his own spark to allow everyone else to live, including his sweet baby princess, winning him a #1 Dad mug, and also several emails from Rung to please make an appointment with him.

Whirl’s miracle Christmas baby lied and stole with the intent to murder everyone on board, and that makes her the ultimate daddy’s girl.

I hope you’ve all enjoyed this canon-important holiday special story about Whirl becoming a father.

In our third and final story, it appears we’ve been transported to Whoville, by the talent of our MTMTE Season 1 colorist, Josh Burcham. Within Whoville resides Anna Log, a human woman who owns two turbofoxes and sleeps in full military body armor on her couch. The wall in her living room suddenly explodes, revealing a late-night visitor.

Motherfucker, you are supposed to be on the ship right now.

Mega-Claus fusion-cannons Anna Log, and we cut to a film noir office where none other than Thundercracker has his feet up on the desk. The art grayscales for this section, as he narrates that he’s a detective. He’s wearing a fedora. It’s January 7th. He has a mysterious past and probably thinks that makes him very sexy.

The phone rings, cueing Buster, Thundercracker’s puggle, to put on her own fedora, and the two go to see the crime scene, where Thundercracker is the same size as a normal human man and wears a trench coat.

It turns out that Anna Log is the director of security for the entirety of planet Earth, which is sort of a big deal. When Thundercracker and the cops look at the security footage, they see who did it— Santa Claus, played by Megatron himself. Fucked up.

Sure, pal.

Thundercracker must now fly to the North Pole and kill Santa, because that’s how the law works. He transforms, flies by Club Penguin and a Coke commercial, reflects on his job, and then gets ready for a fight with Santa’s security measures, as Busters glowing nose warns him of incoming danger. She’s very talented, Buster.

Thundercracker makes quick work of the cybernetic security reindeer with his twin energy katanas and Buster’s jetpack. He kicks down Santa’s door to find the jolly elf himself standing in the dark, potentially rabid. The two start kung-fu beating the shit out of each other. It should be noted that this Santa isn’t the Megatron Santa, who shows up behind the two as they brawl, but rather original-flavor fat man Santa. How Thundercracker didn’t notice this isn’t addressed.

Thundercracker demands to know why Megatron dressed up as Santa Claus to commit a murder— the murder part made sense, Director Log and Megatron would be diametrically opposed— and Megatron reveals the greatest slight against himself he’s ever known.

Framing Santa for murder ain’t exactly gonna turn that coal into a diamond, Meggy baby.

Thundercracker clocks Megatron, he becomes besties with Santa Claus, and they ride a flying tank into the sunset. Thus ends Thundercracker’s most brilliant writing project yet, which he was reading to Marissa Faireborn this entire time.

Marissa isn’t terribly impressed, poking holes in all the little nonsense bits, while also not feeling thrilled about having been killed off in the first two pages of Thundercracker’s book. While the two argue, Buster and Ayana Jones make a Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown! reference together, and the issue closes out with a big ol’ Autobot symbol, even though Thundercracker was a Decepticon, Ayana and Marissa are humans, and Buster is a goddamned dog.

Thus ends the Holiday Special. Up next, more direct story progression!

[alcoholfreenayeon]

What about some Jihyo x actor fem!reader fluff please! Maybe there’s been rumors that the two have been seeing each other for a while after meeting at an event. Pictures of the two taken from a far hanging out and eating at restaurants. Then the reader is in an upcoming major film and one of the premieres is in Seoul and Twice is invited to attend. Just some cute stuff like the two making small gestures like eye contact and smiling at each other across the red carpet or being seen taking photobooth pictures at the after party. Please and thank you hehe :)

AN: sorry for the long wait anon. Hope you like this!

Jihyo x Actor Fem!Reader

Caught in the Act

It’s always a good day when you are on a date with your lovely girlfriend especially when she’s none other than Park Jihyo herself. Add to that the pleasant weather and the good food that’s about to be served, life doesn’t get much better than this really.

So, how’s your day been darling?, “Jihyo interrupts your thoughts, her cute smile sparking with curiosity.

“Well, you know the initial reaction to the movie as been much better than expected from the critics so I think this might be it, my introduction to the world.” You couldn’t help but feel extremely proud. This was your potential breakthrough after all. You hear your phone go off a few times but ignore it and continue, “Then there’s the premier coming up in a few days and as you would have found out yesterday, Twice are invited!”.

Jihyo smiles sweetly and proudly as she listens to you be so happy. “Yea I got the invitations yesterday, why didn’t you tell me about that before!, she pouts.

“I wanted to surprise you”, you tease, glancing at your phone again as another bunch of notifications pop off.

“Ah well it was a very pleasant surprise!” Jihyo almost squealed. “I’m so happy for you”. She paused for a moment as your notifications went crazy yet again. “Ooohhh, the premier hasn’t even happened and miss y/n has become such a busy star already.” She teased with a wink.

“Ugh I’m so sorry about this”, you say sincerely deciding to check what the issue is, “I don’t know why……oh….no…..”, you mild annoyance slowly turns to dread as you look through your notifications. You’ve been tagged in social media posts, your manager has been messaging you, media agencies have been messaging you, fans have been messaging you with the only common denominator being some pictures. Pictures of you and Jihyo from yesterday, last month and other times when the two of you met recently. Your eyes scanning the same words in all of the messages

Caught

Dating

Exposed

Scandal

Your hands start to shake as you realize the ramifications this could potentially have. Suddenly the relaxing atmosphere of the restaurant felt very tense, the glass walls made you feel exposed and the other people here made you nervous. You felt absolutely terrified, your personal life, your career and your girlfriend’s career were all at stake here. As scared as you were right now, it was important to begin damage control as soon as possible. You look at Jihyo who was resting her head in her hand glancing at you seriously while using her phone presumably waiting for you to be done. She probably knows by now as well since she’d likely have been contacted as well.

Taking a deep breath, you grab her hand and quickly drag her, away from the windows, away from the people to the closest secluded area you could find…which happened to be the bathroom. Pushing Jihyo inside, your close the door, wait a few seconds and peek out to see if anyone saw you two come here.

“We need to hurry, someone might come in”,

You nod in agreement and sigh in relief to see no activity you turn back to Jihyo only to see that she has lifted up her top, her breasts exposed and was in the process of pulling down her pants, her cheeks slightly red and her face full of excitement.

“What the HELL are you doing????”, you ask in astonishment.

“What do you think love”, Jihyo flirts squeezing her tits together with a wink.

“Jeez! That’s not why I brought you here!”, you reply, your cheeks flushing. “Put your clothes back on! Someone might walk in!”

“Ahhn what’s going on with you”, Jihyo protests, feeling confused and a bit disappointed.

“They found out.”, you say grimly. “I’ve been getting a lot of messages and there’s pictures circulating and everyone is talking about a potential scandal and-”

“Whoa whoa, calm down. What are you talking about? People found out?”

“I don’t know how? I’ve been receiving so many messages and….didn’t you see it?”

“I keep my notifications off….”

You show her what you’ve found out and Jihyo looks worried now.

“Im surprised, I thought we were quite careful. Maybe we got a bit sloppy recently but for now…..Ok, I think we go back home for now, talk with our companies and then see if we need to address this publicly”, Jihyo says seriously.

You take a deep breath and nod. You let Jihyo leave first and wait about 10 minutes before you go back as well. You didn’t have the courage to check your phone again and were fearing the worst.

On your way back, you called your manager to ask what was going to happen and were a bit relieved to find out that all mostly speculation but the fact that two of five pictures had captured Jihyo and your face cleanly and it was obvious that it was the two of you. Your manager informs you that as of now it would be viable to keep quiet and then the company can say the two of you are friends hanging out, but this stance could change depending on the reaction of the general public. It was too soon to gauge the true reaction of the people right now and it would take a few more hours to assess the situation more accurately.

You spent the next few hours watching some Netflix, trying to distract yourself from the drama till you got further news from the agency. It wasn’t very effective though since your thoughts kept drifting back to it. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity you got a call from your manager, no, it’s Jihyo. You take a deep breath and answer the call,

“Hey”

“hey….”

“did you see it?”, she asks with a hint of excitement in her voice.

“what? See what?”, you question back, confused.

“Open your socials, see what everyone has been saying”

You do as she says and immediately come across a barrage of negative threads about the two of you which only reaffirms your fears but as you keep scrolling through you are completely surprised to find out that despite the initial outrage the fans and public are actually overwhelming supportive of you and Jihyo.

“I never thought Y/N had rizz like that to pull Jihyo!”

“Jihyo is so real for going for Y/N”

“Just based off the photos I can tell these two are so cute together”  

“NOW I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THEM AT THE PREMIERE”

You didn’t know how to react now. People were seeming for rooting for you both but what does it really mean you and Jihyo got away with it? That there wouldn’t be any real consequences? It seems too good to be true.

“Hellooo are you still there Y/n?”

You were so relieved that you had completely forgotten you were on a call with Jihyo. “Y-yeah, I’m still here.”

“Everyone from my side thinks that everything will be more or less alright since people aren’t very angry about it.”

Hearing Jihyo say those words meant a lot and you felt a lot less tense now and were a bit more relaxed. “That’s so good to hear. I still haven’t heard anything from my side, so I hope they tell me the same soon.”

By the next morning your agency had assured you that everything was fine and there would be no major problems. With only two days left for the premiere, time seemed to fly by. Mostly due to how hectic and busy things had been for you but also partly because you were quite nervous about it all.

Finally, the day of the premiere arrived, the whole morning was nerve wrecking, you just kept thinking of all the ways that things could go wrong. Thankfully you managed to get it under control as the day went on until it was actually time for the premiere. When you arrived at the red carpet the first thing that you noticed was the sheer number of people present. Were they all there for you? That seemed entirely insane to you, maybe your driver messed up and now you were at the wrong place and now you were going to get embarrassed when you end up missing your own premiere. However, as soon as you got out of the car, you were absolutely hounded by the crowd of people. They seemed to be speaking in sync, but you couldn’t make out a single word with all the noise. After the initial excitement wore out you could finally make out some of the questions and began to answer them.

Just as you were beginning to get comfortable, the crowd goes wild again as someone else arrives at the carpet. As the car door opens, time seems to slow down and steps out Jihyo looking absolutely gorgeous, her hair perfect, her smile making you feel weak even if it wasn’t directed at you. She greets the crowd as the rest of Twice step out. You were still mesmerized when you snapped out of it realizing that a lot of eyes were still on you. Your cheeks began to flush a bit as you tried to act like it was nothing. Some people in the crowd seemed to have caught on and you could hear a few ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’. Pretending like you didn’t hear them, you decided to move on.

As the rest of the cast turns up, time seems to fly by and before you know it, it’s time to watch the premiere. Everything was going well, in fact every time you appeared in a scene a certain section of the crowd a few rows behind you seemed to cheer loudly. Only when the interval began, and the lights turned on did you realize the loud section of fans were sitting near Jihyo. You didn’t really know how to feel about this. It was kinda sweet maybe-

Your thoughts were interrupted as she made her way towards you flashing you a quick smile before heading to the snack bar. Even though you were quite relaxed on the outside, that small smile from Jihyo made you feel really warm and fuzzy on the inside. You followed her to the snack bar, greeting some fans along the way before stopping next to her. The two of you looked at each other for a moment, smiled and then turned away ordering snacks.

Of course, you wanted to kiss her, but this was NOT the place for that despite the fans seemingly egging the two of you to do something. Coincidentally you both ended up walking back together which caused some whooping from the crowd causing both of you to blush a little while making your way back to the seats.

The rest of the premiere went quite smoothly, and the people absolutely loved it, and you couldn’t be prouder of your work. You ended up taking pictures with each fan in the premiere. While you were about to exit, you were pulled in by Jihyo who told you to keep quiet and that she wanted you to follow her out the back.

“I want you all to myself for some time now”, Jihyo says endearingly. You have no complains, in fact this was exactly what you wanted as well. While the rest of Twice and the movie cast were a bit confused at the disappearances of their members, both groups were busy enough to not put two and two together.

[cinnamontoastcroonch]

thoughts on this, troops? council, even?

laurance who is absolutely INCONSOLABLE after the events of the werewolf wedding. the moment he comes back to his senses, to his human form, he has but a tiny moment of stillness as he looks around himself at the carnage… and then he’s gone. he wails. it’s an awful, keening sound that nobody has heard from him since he’d been blind on a bed under zoey’s care. he can’t think, he’s shouting in horror: apologies, curses, the lot. his hands are in his hair, his voice is already growing hoarse. he’s for the first time experiencing the horror and the evil that resulted from losing himself to the stronger, inhuman darkness inside. he is sick. he cannot take it.

katelyn, having been freed by a frazzled queen ylva, knocks him out. at first, when she arrives at the scene of the ceremony, she gags. she has a strange confliction in her mind: she’s both relieved that they can escape, but terrified by the wretched way that freedom was gained. in seconds, she steels herself, and swiftly addresses the situation. she saw that rendering him unconscious was the most efficient way to handle his current state. they would figure it out later. right then, they only needed to leave the castle.

a short time after, when he is awoken before they begin their leave through the tunnels beneath the castle, he is shell-like. he doesn’t speak. his eyes have an interminable guilt within them. he follows along efficiently, wishing not to cause any more issues. he’s digging his nails into his palms. he feels disgusted in his own skin; in his own mind. for a moment he thinks: katelyn is strong enough to protect aphmau, maybe he should stay back and give himself up to the eastern tribe for what he’d done. he shakes the thought away, despite how much he may believe it.

it’s brought up to him days later by both aph and katelyn, when they had grown sick of the silence. they discuss before him the risks of what measures the eastern tribe will take: will they want him held accountable? will they track him down? has he jeopardized their goals? now he is conflicted. yet again, he has had villainy placed upon himself at none of his own fault, purely out of an instinct to protect. he wonders how much longer he will last.

they decide to drop the subject. laurance hasn’t slept for three days since the wedding. he won’t eat. eventually somebody caves. one of them reaches to him. places an hand on his shoulder as they travel.

“do you think-” he whispers, “do you think i could ever deserve forgiveness?”

he doesn’t get an answer.

and maybe that hurts the most.

[canaidliafail]

stay grounded pt.7

streamer abby x reader 🌿

its been a while hasn’t it :D anyways part 7 is here now ✨✨✨ has some sad stuff has some spice but hey the girls are seeing each other again <3333 TW: I have never been to renfaire as that sadly is not a thing in my country and haven’t been in the US either so :)))))) shit won’t be the most accurate unless I magically go on a trip next month or smt.

not proof read, probably will never be either

“Treat me like I’m nobody’s daughter

Just put your hands around my throat, Ain’t been to heaven but I’m close”

•••

Your phone was blowing up with notifications and as a result you were shutting down, drowning in pure panic. Why did Abby post that ? No caption no nothing….People already speculated things about you two but for them to now know she had visited you….

It wasn’t that you minded people knowing. Not exactly ? There was a part of you that feared public relationships considering the fact that your previous ones didn’t pan out so well. They all seemed respectful and understanding but the minute things went south they would fill their pages with bitter remarks and shady posts. You wanted to believe Abby was different than that. That she would be better than that or at least would try to be for you.

As much as you loved to delude yourself that you had control over you throughs you knew the gesture had gotten into your head and there a small voice repeating the words like a mantra

“Mine, mine mine”

You didn’t like who you were when you were in love and you hated yourself even more when you dated someone but fuck, you were so ready to go through all that again for Abby. You did love her and the tension when you saw her, the chemistry you had and the heated nights made you dizzy with euphoria. It felt like you were molded to heal and fit each other’s missing parts.

You tapped the reshape button and posted the photo on your story and decided to be a bit bolder than before with the small caption beneath

“I won” and a pink heart.

If she would have an issue with it you would delete it and maybe your career would reach new peaks with a stylized apology video in your lavish living room. If she appreciated the gesture though…that would kickstart a fruitful new bond between you two. Hopefully.

Most likely

_________

“Man it feels…empty over here. Alice is wayyyy too happy to see me though”

“Yeah no shit you’ve been gone for half a month” You said laughing all the way through as you watched Alice bounce all over the place and more from Abby’s left side to her right and bark occasionally. Abby had to shove her face away while she tried to eat a miserable bowl of soup that she cooked with whatever leftovers hadn’t rotted in her fridge.

“Half a month huh ... .Felt like its been barely a day” She said with a melancholic sigh and you just fawned at the sight of her staring at her dog lovingly and giving her a few good rubs on her chin.

“How are you doing over there ? Back to sewing?” She asked and turned to look at you through the camera. Its been around a day since you last talked yet it felt like it had been so much longer and it was a pleasant feeling to see the feeling reciprocated. Abby didn’t hesitate to jump on FaceTime the second she came home reassuring for the first 30 minutes that “its ok you can keep me company while I unpack” and “no its cool you can watch me while I cook my dinner” and so on.

There was a significant change in your attitude and in the way she talked to you. She was comfortable.

It made sense. You had eaten each other out 24 hours ago so to be shy on call would be weird and uncalled for.

“I haven’t done much in that regard but…I did deep clean the house and all. My neighbor brought me cake as well. Was pretty cute”

Abby groaned

“You have a neighbor like that and she never once made her gracious appearance to give cake when I was there ?! Fucking unfair”

“I think your loud moans scared her off Abs”

You said and bit your tongue a second after in shame. Oh you were growing to comfortable

“Fuck off. I know that you like that I’m loud”

She quipped with a shit eating grin and you blushed and buried your face in your palms

“Shut up. I- I don’t know why I even said that”

“Oh come on babe. We are way past that stage” she said calmly while eating another spoonful of her colored liquid.

“You would have a point but I…Give me some time” You mumbled and heard her laugh. You grabbed a wet wipe and started wiping your coffee table from the cigarette ashes. Your heart was beating in your chest content by the fact that she didn’t brush off the fact that you two were entangled like that and more than that, she seemed to want to remind you as well that things were happening between you two

“Ah also about the story sorry I didn’t ask before posting it. I’m not gonna say anything about our relationship yet. Not unless you want me to of corse”

You blinked and pursed your lips. Your brows shot up and your eyes turned to the camera

“Relationship?”

You asked and felt dumb the second the words left your mouth. She looked at you and seemed equally nervous. It didn’t exactly show but you picked up on some signs from the short time that you got to experience her up close. Her tongue rolling in her mouth and that half smile trying to hide a laughter of awkwardness and embarrassment. Her hand at the nape of her neck as if she was straightening the flow of her braid

“Yeah. I mean now that we are a thing I thought I’d ask you how you wanted to handle it regarding our…publicity because we do have quite the platform”

Her words were rushed.. You were quick to realize that this was her way of saying she wanted the two of you to make whatever you had official. And you smiled discreetly and turned to face her

“Let’s take it slow with our audience, yeah? Think we should take our time figuring each other out before we let anyone else do that for us” You reassured and she nodded her shoulders easing. She took in a deep breath visibly relaxed now and took another spoonful of her shitty soup.

_________

Abby got you another gift. You didn’t know when did she even make the purchase but you were woken up a week later from the delivery man with a large box of items from your wishlist with an additional two things that she probably added in there herself. You were used to being the one making such gestures. Being the dominant and the one providing and over endorsing the other person in every way so to receive such…princess treatment was new and made you sit on the floor with the ugliest grin

“You are so fucking creepy now”

June spat with an equally big smile being quick to put two and two together.

“I can’t believe this is my life now. Can you? Like…she is too good. Too sweet”

She rolled her eyes and went back to her phone scrolling through posts and messages. You looked at the package and scratched the cardboard with your fingers,contemplating how to phrase your proposal.

“oh so what if I got her a gift too? Like something big?”

“big like…say tickets to visit her?” she said and cocked a brow

“no june i'm serious-“

“So am I”

you stared long and hard at each other. You weren’t sure when to even propose that to her. Things were going well but you didn’t like the idea that you could possibly seem needy or too eager. Which weren’t bad things per say but they did stupidly bruise your ego. You weren’t one to endorse such games and thoughts but you held Abby to such a high standard that you hated that any “strong” emotion that you would exhibit would scare her off

“As much as I would like to do that, I think I'll take my time. It's only been a week you know”

June shrugged knowing that even if she said something in the moment it wouldn’t change your mind.

You grabbed the box of gifts and made your way to your workshop.

“Hey june wanna come in here ? I could use your help with the chainmail”

“Sure”

“about our stream by the way…I have one scheduled for tonight. You can join and see if you like the whole experience . I remember you mentioning last year that you wanted to get into it”

her eyes opened up in awe and a big smile stretched her lips.

“fuck yeah Im very sure I wanna pursue this thing with you so if I’m not really throwing you off schedule Im in”

“I was just going to catch up with my viewers and have a chat since it's been a while since I last had a stream. Perfect time to introduce you”

You held the box of rings and continued working on the armor grabbing your tools in silence and left June to rummage through your makeup supplies to fix herself up. In truth you saw your friend's light falter while she contemplated her future with her uni and you were equally happy to make a collaborative streaming channel with her. You two were close -obviously- and you had the type of familiarity and humor that would translate well on the screen.

You loved working alone. always being your own model and your own manager. However working with Abby as your model for a change of pace, and having a friend to stream with didn’t sound so bad. In fact you finally felt like you could trust people more in ways other than shallow or superficial.

______

“Just act like Im there” Abby rasped, her tone significantly lower than usual and with the way she guided you throughout the call made it feel that way as well

“Touch yourself for me baby” she whispered tenderness laced with lust, her neediness visible through her voice. Your hand ventured beneath your underwear with your fingers sliding through the wet folds of your pussy with ease that had you blushing in embarrassment . It was relieving to know that Abby couldn’t see how terribly horny you were for her and you felt that she would be dangerously powerful were she to find out about the affect her voice alone had on you

You circled your clit with slow movements, struggling to keep the pace that Abby demanded of you the moment you heard her soft moans. heat pooled in your stomach again and every stroke sent jolts through your entire body as she indulged you with endless praise that eventually escalated to raunchy comments that made your spine arch of the bed

“you are doing so good” turned to “You are such a whore I can practically hear how wet you are from here, oh? You liked that didn’t you?”

You didn’t think you could actually cum from a phonecall. Hell, with your past partners you hardly even got wet when they were present and went down, yet now all it took was two fingers in and you came undone seconds later breathing heavy and covered in sweat.

You checked the time and realized that this whole foreplay had gone on for 40 minutes.

“Damn you…no wonder you are at the top 0.1% on onlyfans” You said mindlessly and heard her huff out a chuckle on the other end of the line

“That’s not what I do there. These one on ones are for you only and…and I'm just glad it went this good”

you rolled on your stomach and held your phone in your clean hand

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never done this before and I was really nervous not to fuck up”

you smiled. You wanted to see her again. You missed her

“Abs?”

she -mmhd- still too dazed probably from everything that went down a few minutes ago

“I wanna see you” you said and cringed the moment the words left your mouth

“Oh, you wanna facetime?”

“no”

you could hear the “????” as Abby tried to put the pieces together. You despised how much of a coward you were. Abby so far had carried the entire construction of this relationship. You could do this much

“I mean I’d like to see you in person, I..I missed you”

“Me too” her voice softened

“fuck I, I miss you already and it has only been a month I know but…Do you think you’d maybe wanna visit for spring break?”

Your lips stretched and cracked with a smile. You wanted to scream in excitement. It shouldn’t have been that big of a deal that Abby wanted to see you but it was, because she also wanted you to visit her soon. She wanted you

“Yeah that’s what I was going to suggest actually..I have been saving up ever since you left and..I could get tickets by the end of the month”

“Fuck yes that would be amazing and you can meet Alice and since its two months in advance I can look around for events or things you’d like to see?”

your chest swelled and your eyes started to sing. You muffled a whimper and lowered your head to swallow back your tears.

“love? are you alright?”

“ye-ah” you choked out and tried to wipe your eyes with the sleeve of your sweater. You were in love with this woman and you were so content with that feeling that you allowed yourself a few moments to calm down before you spilled your emotions too fast

“Sorry, I'm just happy. Yeah we could arrange to do some stuff”

“alright cool anything that comes to mind right away?”

You looked across your room at your wardrobe with all the victorian gowns and costumes you sewed for class

“Renfaire”

_________

“I got them”

“For how long?”

“17 days as promised”

You heard Abby yell excited and smack her desk

“fuck yeah! I get to be my girl for half a month”

“your excitement is truly adorable and deeply appreciated” you teased while walking down the wet pavement to get to your afternoon lectures

“fuck off you prissy twit. As if you aren’t happy”

“No need to get all hissy at me. I am just as excited”

Abby started rambling about every event she found and asked twice on whether you were certain that making your renfaire costume’s wasn’t too much pressure which you reassured-twice- that you were building a portfolio this year so if anything you needed the extra work

“Not sure if you'd be into that but Ellie will be throwing a party and we were invited” she said not even trying to hide the destate she had for the woman.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to but I won’t lie, I always wanted to see how you hold parties over there in the US”

“Again, you watch too many movies”

“Let me dream” you whined and she laughed

“Alright Im outside class and late as fuck”

“-as always” abby cut you off

“so I’ll call you later” you said, ignoring her remark

You hung up and walked in quickly making your way to your usual seat on the pattern table.

“Work?” the teacher asked and you raised your brows faking an apologetic expression. work- as in you were too busy double and triple checking the tickets for your flight and that they were on the correct airport and then you had to triple check that the airline company you choose would handle switching your luggage between flights and-

“yeah work” you answered and she nodded in empathy

You slumped in your seat and pulled out your phone scrolling through your list of things you had to finish working on and things you had to buy before leaving. This would have to be the biggest trip you’ve ever planned. not just in the matter of your stay but also regarding the distance of your flight. You chewed on your lip. The tickets required an emergency contact and you had put your mothers number. Someone you hadn’t even told her you were leaving the country yet.

You had to mentally prepare yourself knowing she would pull every fault and harm you’ve done in your 22 years of life to guilt you out of that trip due to her co-dependency issues with you. Such were the struggles of living with a widowed mother.

the role of the father and the “male protector” was forced on you. You started to suffocate and felt angry.

repressed anger that came and went in waves.

what if you were to permanently leave for the US?

Could you afford it ?

Would she support it?

Would you be finally free ?

at what cost though?

you opened your contact list and scrolled far down to your therapist's number that stayed there neglected after months of ghosting. therapy never helped. You doubted one quick session would solve years of abuse and trauma anyways but you were all out of options. You thought of Abby. Could you open up to her about this ?

You were filled with a familiar dreadful feeling of emptiness. Had the two of you ever even talked about anything serious ? You talked yeah, but if you were about to fall apart would she be there to support you while you tried to get back on your feet?

You locked your phone. This endless cycle of self pity was getting you nowhere.

During break you went to the schools cafeteria and got their shitty overpriced coffee for the sake of having limitless time to sit on the bar by the windows.

cottoncandy: Abby can I talk to you?

staygrounded69: Whats up babe? Missed me already?

cottoncandy: No I think I'm having a meltdown

you confessed without thinking twice and seconds later your phone lit up with her name. You picked up the call and raised your phone to your ear

“Abby I-“

“whats going on? are you alright? are you safe?”

she asked and you wanted to cry at how tender and careful she always was with you. You nodded even though you knew she couldn't see you

“I'm safe just…Abby there’s this issue that I'm not sure how to deal with… see my mom…I haven’t told her yet about my trip and she..she is very possessive and protective and Im scared”

abby was silent for a few minutes considering what you had told her

“Can she do something that will hurt you? physically or emotionally?”

“Her words have a strong effect on me abby…if she says something..she can change my feelings about anything. she can make me angry about things I wouldn’t be angry about and she can make me second guess everything. I want to see you and Im scared that if she says something off I will cancel everything and ruin this-“

“hey hey relax love, I got you” she soothed and you started tightening your fists your nails digging in the flesh of your palm deeper and deeper trying to calm your nerves.

why did I say all of this God Im so fucking pathetic and weak

“Sorry ignore everything Ive said Im just stressed with essay admissions and-“

“please don’t shut me out…you do it a lot and..I never want to push you but I notice when your mood changed and when your thoughts get the best of you” she said which caught you off guard and completely by surprise. So she noticed ? she noticed you?

she saw you?

“Does she know you are..dating a woman?”

“Oh yeah. She’s over that much at least. She doesn’t complain about that anymore now her issue will be that Im traveling so far…”

“Are you scared to make a trip like that?”

“No. I love flights and I know I will have a good time with you there” I trust you

you thought

“Then try to remember that when she tries to talk you out of it. These are your feelings. whatever happens after she finds out is about her and not about you”

You nodded and noticed your breathing pattern was starting to even out.

“Sorry”

“Don't be”

“still…”

“I don’t wanna hear it. I'm here for you. Whichever way you need me to”

you nodded silently. Abby probably knew as she trailed on how her day went and complained about Isaac being a bitch which made you laugh and loosen up

_______

ABBY’s POV

the three months that you were apart Abby fell endlessly in different slumps of misery and self loath. Her manager was making it exceptionally hard to continue their partnership

“You can’t post your girlfriend. Your income relies on been everyones sweetheart and you are fucking it up”

“oh am I? Cause I haven’t seen a fall in my profits and if anything things are going better than before. Isaac for once I don’t need to see my therapists twice a week and Im motivated to make more content”

He groaned and rubbed his temples trying to control his anger

“Abby this is insane. Right now things are well because majority of your audience has no fucking idea you are tied”

Abby got out off her chair and paced around the room running her hands through her braided hair and resting them on the nape of her neck. she clenched her jaw in anger. She wasn’t willing to sacrifice this

“Im not renewing our contract”

“excuse me?”

she turned around and stomped all the way to his side making him take a step back intimidated

“You heard me. Find someone else to leech on. There’s a month left right? Enough time for you to find a new pet. Im through with you”

She left his office shaking. Panic clogged her throat. She called Manny repeatedly till he picked up

“pendejo what do you want?!”

he sounded man and Abby guessed that she interrupted him from a date

“Im changing managers”

“huh? Wait, so you left Isaac?”

Manny asked and his tone changed immediately from angry to concerned and confused. Abby got in her car and turned on the engine while putting him on speaker

“Yeah I, fuck I dont know what Im gonna do with finances and all but he suggested I break up with corton or that I straight up break up and I wasn’t having it”

she said in one breath and started driving to nowhere in particular. she wasn’t ready to go home yet so she decided to go on a long afternoon drive till the sun set at least

“I'm with you but are you sure it was worth doing this for her?”

“I did it for me Manny. He has been controlling every aspect of my life for too long”

Manny knew that well enough by now. In fact he had also tried to suggest she switched agencies. Manny worked with Isaac as well but he wasn’t as affected by his antics as Abby was.

“Then you did the right thing Abs”

A week later she received a series of furious messages from Isaac calling her every name in the book all wrapped up with the statement

“I made you and you will be nothing without me like you were before I met you”

Abby took a screenshot and decided to use this as a way to terminate her contract sooner

That day when she went home a parcel was waiting for her. it was soft and heavy wrapped in brown paper. She recognised the sender immediately and ran inside to tear off and see the contents. It was her knight costume for renfaire. You had finished it and sent it to her.

she bared her teeth in a grin. The fabrics were expensive and you had the brilliant idea to make the shirt from feathersilk. A light fabric that looked like water and had the most beautiful flow with every move she made. You had handcrafted chainmail pieces along with leather belts and armbands. She held the pieces that looked like metal only to find out they were made out of leather and painted as well. She admired the finer details and every brush stroke of baroque details that you added.

She carefully put every part and smiled at the handmade page of instructions that you added in the parcel of which part went where. The fabrics had your scent and that alone aroused her to an unhealthy extent. halfway through getting dressed she leaned back against her couch that was facing a mirror and took a topless pic. She could use that later. she put on the remaining pieces and let her hair loose, admiring the complete costume. she hated that she had no idea what you were sewing for yourself. Would you make a dress ? were you also going to be a knight? She didn’t dwell too long on those thoughts as she shamelessly eye fucker herself cause hell, She did look hot.

That's my girls work

she thought proud like a bird puffing out its chest and spun once more watching as the cape dances behind her. Your reply was humble

“Im just glad it fits properly and that nothing got torn yet :’) I tried to add a double stitch to make sure the pieces would be sturdy but I'm still new”

She would have strangled you for your self demeaning attitude and then given you the messiest eating out session to show her gratitude, spit and all

“You are fucking gifted, and your paint job? This is insane”

“You deserve the best <3”

you said and she blushed. she sent you the topless pic where she only wore the pants and shoulderpads. She watched as you typed and deleted your text again and again until you settled for a

“We are fucking before,during and after renfaire. Otherwise I'm tearing your costume to shreds”

and she took that as a win

__________

Abby all but leaped when she saw you and ran to your side wrapping her arms around you in a bone crushing hug. She was scared of many things. There were many ways a trip could go wrong before it even began but now that you were here in front of her she felt at ease. she took her time breathing in your scent and her hands entangled in your hair pulling you in closer. She feared she would cry if she extended the hug any longer so she leaned in to kiss you briefly before cupping your cheeks and asking about your flight

you smiled, lips streched with your cheeks a tint of pink

“It was good Abs. I'm happy that Im here now”

and she nodded biting her lip and leaning down to kiss you again

“me too my love” she whispered between the kiss and felt you slide your hands around her waist and melt deeper in her arms

[0funsite0]

Poor us

Summary: You and Jimin have been living in poverty without parental help as they decided to disown you the moment you married the love of your universe. Life hasn't been easy ever since, but your love for each other and the will of building a family of your own may just be enough to concur all.

non-idol!jimin x pregnant!fem!reader

Warnings: pregnancy, poverty, medical issues, cold, malnutrition, childbirth

Word count: 2.9K

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You felt another blanket being placed on your body.

- Chim, I think that's enough, but thank you. - you breathed out sleepily, as Jimin carefully lays down next to you on the mattress placed on the floor.

- No, love! It's freezing. We need to make sure you don't catch a cold. That wouldn't be good considering you are 28 weeks.

He was right. Your tiny apartment was located in the poorest part of town, where cutting the water or gas was done weekly by authorities, since there was always something wrong with the system. Now not even the tiny heater in your miniature room was radiating any warmth, meaning the only things keeping you and your baby growing inside your womb warm were those few blankets you had.

- This was our last blanket though... now you have none. - you extended your hands, motioning him to lay under your blankets.

He hesitantly lifted the blankets and slipped under them, wrapping his protective arms around your waist to scoot you closer to his body. Of course, he was mindful of your bump, making sure not to crush your little one inside. A warm smile spread across his face, as he felt the baby wiggle against his torso. Moments like this reminded him, that rich, or not, life was beautiful.

- Now, go to sleep, okay? - ha pleaded, while softly caressing your hair and back. - You need a lot of rest.

- Okay... - you yawned. - But you too! Night.

- I hate that you still go to work.

- Jimin, we talked about this before! Women in my condition usually have maternity leave around their last month. I just started my seventh month, we have 3 left. - before he could cut you off, you continued. - Besides, we can't afford to have minus one working hand. We need the money. I already quit one of my jobs.

- Then I'll get another job.

- A fourth one? There's no way I'm letting that happen!

- Jagi...

You cut him off with a kiss. That kiss brought him comfort and reassurance. He still didn't like the fact that even after the doctor told you you were a bit underweight and should make sure you didn't lose any more if you wanted the baby to be healthy, you were still on your feet all that at work, which also included some physical labor. Ever since that day, he would skip meals, so you could eat more. Of course, he never told you this, because he knew you'd never let him do that.

- Good night!

- Good night, Love! - then he put his free hand on your tummy. - Night, night baby!

-

- Mrs. Park, - your doctor sighed. - even though you made some progress compared to last time, you still seem a little underweight. I want you to keep in mind that malnutrition doesn't only affect the fetus' development but can also send you into premature labor.

These were definitely news that you expected to hear at your 32-week check-up, and you had plenty of time to prepare yourself, but you still couldn't stop the tears from escaping your eyes. These facts being said out loud sent shivers down your spine and made your heart fill with worry for your precious baby.

Tears kept running and running down your red cheeks and no one was there to wipe them away. Jimin had work, which he couldn't miss, and the old lady, who called herself a doctor definitely wasn't the one who would calm you down. She was extremely unsympathetic. You just wished your husband was there, holding your hand.

The gynecologist printed out your ultrasound pictures and handed you the papers which contained the updates on your and the fetus' health.  

You didn't have a car. None of you. So you had to walk all the way home, burning calories, which you couldn't afford to burn. But you had no other option. On your way to your apartment, you stopped in front of a bakery, just staring inside of the showcase, debating whether or not you should spend those few bucks you brought with you, on some nourishing pastries for yourself... more for your baby. The debate was obviously determined when you set your thin hands on your bump and felt your bundle of joy wiggle around. A soft, but sad smile appeared on your lips, and you went inside.

-

You sat in your scummy kitchen, munching on one of the cheese biscuits you bought earlier, when you hear the squeak of the front door, signaling that your husband was home. About time... it was 10 PM.

-  Hi, My Love!

He took his shoes off and hugged you, caressing your back and pressing a gentle hand on your bump.

- How did your appointment go?

- It went great. - you lied.

- Can I see the papers?

You froze. Oh no! That will give everything away.

- Uhm... I lost it.

- Jagi... Please don't lie to me, okay?

You realized that there was no reason to lie to your husband any further. You dug deep into your duffel bag you've been taking with you everywhere for years now. The time took a toll on it as well. The rips and lose threads were becoming more and more evident.

In the end, you pulled out the folded medical papers, which will soon reveal your little secret to Jimin.

He carefully read through the words, making sure he wasn't missing any detail.

You didn't dare to look at him. You were scared. you expected scolding from him, words that would send you tears.

Instead, you just felt thin arms wrap around you and delicate hands running up and down your bump.

- Oh Jagi! - he breathed.

You couldn't help the tears. You were an emotional mess. Relief, sadness, worry, guilt...

- A-are you m-mad?

- No, no! I'm not, baby.

He carefully lifted you and slipped under you n the chair, so he could set you on his lap. He turned your head to look him in the eye and was quick to wipe the tears away, which were continuously pouring onto your shirt. He just kept wiping and wiping them.

- I'm just so worried, Jagi... But... don't you worry, My Love, okay? We'll work on it. You'll be fine! Perfectly healthy!

-

- Love! I'm home! - he said as he closed the door.

- Chim? - you breathe out shakily.

Jimin could immediately sense the discomfort in your voice, so he is quick to get into the tiny bathroom your voice could be heard from.

He dropped everything he had on him the moment he saw your distressed figure on the floor hunched over the toilet, hands on your 34-week bump, and rat to your side.

- Baby! It's okay, let it all out!

- I haven't been able to keep anything down today.

- Oh God! Why didn't you call me?

- I don't have any money on my phone... I couldn't call anyone.

Jimin cursed at himself for forgetting to charge money on your phone. It was a very dangerous move from him, especially now that you are nearing the end of your pregnancy.

- I'm having a contraction... - you panted as you clutched your abdomen, still sitting on the floor.

His hands carefully flew to rest on your stomach as he felt around. Your bump was rock-hard. He panicked. You weren't full-term yet.

- Are you sure? Maybe they are just Braxton hicks... - he held onto the last bit of hope he had.

- I'm not sure... I hope though. - you straightened your posture as the tight feeling in your stomach eased. - Chim... - tears started streaming from your eyes. - These don't feel like Braxton hicks. My baby...

- Shhh... It's alright, don't worry. We'll get you to the hospital.

-

- Mrs. Park, you are now in pre-term labor, but we can give you medication that might extend your pregnancy by a few more days or weeks.

- How much does it cost? - you ask, laying in the uncomfortable hospital bed with pink and blue bands strapped around your bump, which attached little machines to your skin to detect the baby's and your vitals.

- No! She'll have it! - Jimin said with much confidence.

- Chim...

You could barely afford the hospital bills for your labor and delivery. You didn't need to add any more to that sum.

- Can we get a moment, please? - your husband addressed your doctor.

- Of course. - she walked outside.

Jimin sat down next to you on the bed, his eyes flaming as he stared at the bands and machines attached to your still small bump. At least compared to how far along you were. Baby didn't weigh much and you were supposed to work on that in the remainder of your pregnancy.

And while Jimin's stare was livid, he stroked your hand and talked in the most gentle way possible.

- You are getting that medicine. I'm not letting my baby have potential risks or even die!

- I know, Ji-

The next contraction hit you out of nowhere. You curled around your hardened stomach and gripped Jimin's shirt.

- Breathe, breathe! - he whispered.

- I know, - you started as the contraction ended. - and it's the last thing I want as well. But tell me honestly how will we pay for that. That shit is expensive and we d-don't even have baby products yet.

That's when the tears spilled.

- It's okay, - he wiped your eyes. - I'll make sure everything is perfectly fine. You'll have that medicine and won't worry about the bills. I'll sort everything out.

His tone calmed you a bit, just enough to stop crying. But it didn't free you from the concern you felt about your child's well-being.

Your husband called the doctor back in, who immediately started preparing the procedure.

- No, no! - you whined. - No needles, Chim...

- Shhh... - he stroked your hair. - Just focus on me. Think about how is you are strong now, we'll have a strong baby in a few weeks.

So you did. You were strong and the IV was in, pouring some fluid into you. You didn't look at it, but you were nauseous non the less.

Just in time, a nurse assisting the doctor shoved a bowl in front of you. You let out the contest of your stomach. You didn't know you had anything left in you, and now, vomiting with Jimin tying your back with an emergency hair tie on his wrist, then rubbing your back.

- We're going to wait now and see how your contractions turn out. If they stop, we'll do a check on the baby and determine whether you are safe to go back home or now. If they continue to progress, we'll get ready for delivery.

So you waited there in the arms of your husband. Breathing through contractions and praying. Praying that the medicine worked and that your baby is okay.

Hours went by, but the constant pains tormenting you never stopped.

- Mr. and Mrs. Park, I'm afraid there's no other solution, we have to go through with the delivery.

Your heart ached. You wished you could give your beloved child, whom you haven't seen yet but lived with everything you had, a bright future. You wanted them to grow up in comfort and love at the same time. These are things you got to experience in your life, only never at the same time. Comfort you had while in the care of your parents, but love you only ever found when comfort was taken away, with Jimin.

A strong contraction ripped through your abdomen, squeezing your helpless baby inside. Jimin was close to tears himself.

- Breath, beautiful. You've got this. - he whispered with a broken voice.

You would have thought that this little gesture (him reminding you to breath) would be useless and would only agitate you, but thanks to him you realized you've been holding your breath which didn't help with the pain. As soon as you were reminded by him you let as much air into your lungs as possible and that relieved a lot of pressure from your stomach.

At some point the pain got extremely bad. No matter what you did, walking around, or squatting, the pressure was worse than ever amd could no longer be relieved by breathing.

- Wow, that was a big one. - the nurse exclaimed as she inspected the red line on the monitor, possibly measuring the intensity of your contractions. - How do you feel about some kind of pain relief?

The word "yes" was at the very tip of your tongue, it wanted to escape faster than light travels. But a voice, that has been chanting the same word over and over again since the day of your engagement, stopped you. Money.

- What do you suggest? - your husband asked after seeing your doubtful gaze.

-No... Ugh... I- W-we can't... - you huffed in the middle of feeling your baby squirming in discomfort as your belly hardens again.

- What do you suggest? - Jimin asked again, this time with a much more impatient voice, ignoring your protests.

- At this point it would be too late for the epidural, but I would recommend either oxygen, or gas. Oxygen is great for your lung capacity, helping you with breathing, amd gas kind of works like a drug. It's completely harmless of course, it has a numbing effect, so your brain can't process pain the way it is now, making it seem less intense.

- Jim-Jimin! You no we can't-

- We'll take oxygen.

After a bit of time and a lot of convincing from your husband, the nurse brought all the equipment needed and soon you had a mask-like plastic thing in your hand. She showed you how to use it and you were good to go. You were hesitant at first, but after feeling the difference it made, you couldn't resist anymore.

Jimin was relieved to see you have some break from the constant torture. That break, however, didn't last long.

A sudden strange urge and pressure broke you from your relaxed state. Your water broke and the contractions, which brought your baby so low, came almost immediately after each other.

- I ned to PUSH! - with that last word you were pushing, there was no going back.

Jimin worriedly smacked the calling button above your head, and 3 nurses entered the room, taking their places around you like the professionals they were.

They quickly understood that you prefered being encouraged with gentle words, not like some who needed them to shout like a football coach. You were scared for your baby, who would be born prematurly into this cold world, without a warm home, without a place to sleep. Damn... you don't even have a crib yet.

The only thing that allowed you ta stay focused was the thought of your little baby being in your arms, and Jimin's heartwarming words. These two pushed you forward.

- IT BURNS! - you scream in pure agony.

- Push through it! It means you're doing it right. - one of the nurses assured.

To be honest you couldn't tell the difference between them at this point. You could barely even see, your vision was so blurred by the tears pouring down your cheeks.

- We're so close baby! So, so close. It'll all be over.

Oh how wrong he was...

Once this part comes to an end the rest and most difficult part begins.

Several pushes and one last scream later the pain faded into nothing and for the first time in your life, you smiled when a baby cried.

You remember countless times when on long plane rides a baby was close to you on an aircraft you silently cursed at all living species on Earth. You would do so again when you realize you forgot to bring your headphones, and you'd have to listen to the annoying wailing sounds of an uncontrollable infant. Now, however, it was the world's most wonderful sound.

He was alive, breathing, gunky and slimy, just covered in all kinds of birth fluids, but he was the most beautiful thing that's ever existed on this planet.

You became a mother.

A mother to a child whose father is the love of your universe. You chuckled at the silly thought. Of course, how else would it be?

Your beautiful newborn son was placed on your chest and his warmth made you forget all the hardships you've faced and the ones you'll have to face once this moment is over. He was tiny but had a healthy set of lungs and an even healthier heart, which was all you cared about. His squished face scrunched even more with his cries. You were in love for the second time in your life. You never thought your love could get bigger, you imagined becoming a mother would split your love into two, half for your husband, half for the new addition to the family. But you were so wrong!

- Our little son. - the voice of your husband pulled you out of the state of mind you were in. He pulled you out to be with him. Him and your son so you could enjoy these moments with those who matter. Who you live for.

- Thank you Jimin...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: Might make a part 2 if enough people have interest in it, because I'm curious what happens to them now 🫣

[fuck-customers]

fuck two of my coworkers, ok. gonna be a long one.

so i’m kind of a floater between stations in the kitchen, originally hired on for pantry (cold apps, salads, and desserts) with occasional training on expo and line. since our old dishwasher got himself fired, i’ve mostly been doing that for the last couple months. for the last two weeks we’ve been having issues with the garbage disposal sink getting backed up and not draining, fucking up one of the pipes in the wall to make it overflow—this has made doing dishes in a timely fashion with one person on that station vastly more difficult.

as a result of the above, the chef (C) tells me last night to come in an hour earlier than my original schedule “so you don’t get fucked on the dishes during brunch rush.” unbeknownst to me, he also tells the main pantry worker (J1) that she needs to ask me for help to make sure she has all her prep done before brunch.

i don’t find out about that until i’ve already been working for upwards of half an hour on making sure all the stations have the dishes they’re supposed to and any leftover from last night have been put away. this includes multiple trips to and from pantry to cart stacks of plates, during any of which J1 could have asked me to help when i get my hands free. instead, it’s the SOUS CHEF (S) who stops me on my way to prep for a weekly cleaning task to tell me to ask J1 if she needs help.

i’m just like, yeah ok sure, and i go to ask her. she’s like “🫤 weren’t you supposed to be over here helping me anyway” and i’m like “…i don’t know, C told me to come in for dishes, i’m just going off of what he said.” and ask her what she needs help with. she puts me on a non-crucial task that ends up fucking us over because we’re completely out of one of our more popular menu items for pantry, and she and the other floater/currently mostly pantry guy (J2) haven’t been getting their prep done right/at all. meaning i have to drop everything while the brunch rush is starting to get everything prepped before i can even make the item for it to be served. (put a pin in this. 📌)

brunch ends, we each get our 15, i come back from break and ask C where he wants me, “so i’m back on the same page as the rest of the kitchen.” he tells me to continue helping at pantry, making filling for deviled eggs. i don’t know the new recipe and he hasn’t written it down yet, so he tells me to plate desserts instead. J1 comes back from break right then and starts plating desserts. J1 does know the new filling recipe. i just kind of sigh and go back to C and ask him to just show me how to make the new filling. C, instead, walks back to pantry with me, and tells J1 to swap roles with me, telling her to make the filling while i plate cakes. she doesn’t fucking hear him because she’s got headphones on and loud, to the point that i have to get her attention three times before she even looks up.

i say, “C wants us to switch.” she straight up rolls her eyes at me and starts moving her dessert setup. we have one working outlet that we can plug the food processor into in the pantry area, where the fuck does she think i’m going? i clarify “no, C wants you to get started on the filling, and let me finish the cakes” and she goes “oh” before moving to start the filling. the food processor turns out to not be working, so she asks me to relay that to C, and i do, and when i come back she’s fucking plating cakes again. i remind her that C told me to do that and she just goes “🙄 i got this, go do one of your other tasks” so i just get fed up with her and her shit and spend the next two hours getting some hardcore catharsis in by sweeping, deck scrubbing, and mopping the dry storage area. the rest of the night with her goes pretty smooth because i’m mostly able to ignore her while i prep for tomorrow. she’s been kind of a cunt since a friend of hers, A, got fired/walked out/i’m fuzzy on the details anyway, so like. oh well. seethe and mald but stop making your problems mine, yk? let me do my fucking job.

📌 circling back now to that pin. the popular food item in question requires sliced cured meat. there was some cut, but only enough for about 3 of them before being left with unservable scraps that C doesn’t want on the plate. so i take a fresh meat log to the slicer, only to find it in an absolute STATE. it looks like it hasn’t been cleaned all fucking month. there’s old yellowing grease all over it and bits of dried meat scraps/flakes caked everywhere on and around it that have gone past dried and starting to turn rancid—like, this shit was turning green.

i am, of course, disgusted and appalled, because making and prepping for this particular menu item was easily 85% of my job when i was focused on pantry, and the worst i ever let the slicer get was getting too busy to remember to clean it before the end of one shift and doing it first thing when i came in for the next. the worst you’d find then was some dried meat flakes that had turned a slightly darker pink. so of course i immediately set to cleaning the slicer before even thinking about putting anything intended for human consumption near it.

C comes back to see what’s taking so long bc i usually have a full log sliced by that point. i’m still in the process of cleaning the slicer, so i point out what mess is left (i had about a third of it done by now; it was Bad) and he goes “oh, that might have been J2” and tells me to hurry and slice just enough for a few more orders, and i can finish slicing after they’re arranged for service.

i come back to pantry, where J1 is now running window to expo and J2 is arranging the non-meat parts of the item. i say aloud for both of them, “hey, just so you know, we need to wipe down and sanitize the slicer after we’re done using it.” J2 straight up says “well, it wasn’t cleaned the last time i had to use it,” which just hits me with such an intense wave of anger that i go nonverbal for a minute while i focus on plating. like. so you agree, you admit it, you didn’t fucking clean it after you were done. J2 has been risking unleashing food poisoning on our entire clientele for god knows how long.

later, after dinner service, i’m helping the temp on dishes—i’m hand-washing mostly pans and other things that won’t fit in the machine in the three-tier manual sink, while the temp is running the machine, and J2 has been putting the trays of dishes away as they come out. as i’m filling the manual sinks i turn to J2 and say, “if you wanna just focus on putting things away, i can knock out the washing here,” and he agrees.

and then he proceeds to completely fucking ignore the rapidly filling sanitizer sink in favor of continuing to put away the machine dishes. even when i move things onto the counter between the sanitizer soak and the “out” side of the machine, taking up almost all of the available space to give myself room to keep cycling through the dishes, he continues ignoring it, simply lifting the dish machine trays over and past the growing pile of waiting manual dishes.

i step away for a bit to cool off, catch my breath, take something for the migraine that has been steadily building since ~11:30am (it is now almost 9pm) from having to deal with J1 and J2 all fucking day. i have been asked to help with trash as part of close. J2 has the gall to ask me “how much longer do you think you’ll be?” at a fucking guess i’m going to be a lot goddamn longer than i would be if you were actually HELPING ME, dickhead.

J2 ended up clocking out after the temps helped him with trash without putting a single manual dish away, leaving me with three full sinks and an overloaded counter. i didn’t get home until after midnight (partly because my ride was helping with after-dinner bar service) and i have to go back and do it all the fuck again at 11a again tomorrow.

i swear, if J2 gets fired and is never allowed to work in foodservice again after tonight’s bullshit, especially the state i found the deli slicer in, i’m converting back to christianity, because i’m taking it as proof that there is a merciful and loving god.

Posted by admin Rodney.