#she has to give it by end of month (Saturday) but plans Wednesday | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

daisymbin · 4 months ago

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hitorijanai - yoon jeonghan

warnings: some use of profanities, slight mention of uncertainty, slight children talk, let me know if I miss any

pairing: yoon jeonghan x female reader (use of she)

genre: girldad!jeonghan, comfort, established relationship

wc: 2.6k

a/n: fuck taeil i hope he burns and rots in hell

check out my masterlist! // hannie's m.list

for months on end, jeonghan has been trying to plan out the perfect weekend for your little family on your wedding anniversary but he was having trouble planning it as you were home as much as he was, he just had no chance! he got lucky however, when you had told him on a Wednesday afternoon that on friday, you had to return to your mom's place & stayover for a night as she needed help with something. then it struck him, this is his chance!

friday afternoon_

“hannie-ah, don't forget to throw out the trash and wash the dishes later, okay?” you asked while you were standing by the door with your overnight bag on the floor, putting your sneakers on. “do you really need to tell me this 3 times? I've got it! go spend time with your mom, I'll be waiting at home for you with ha-rin.” jeonghan snakes his hand up your arms only for them to find home at the back of your neck, pulling you in for a gentle kiss. “come back home safely to me, okay?” he asked as he pulled away to look at you, you had simply nodded, “I'll be back tomorrow evening hannie.”

As soon as the door to your apartment was closed shut, jeonghan wasted no time taking his plans into action. “ha-rin ah, you know this weekend is appa & eomma's anniversary right? appa needs to decorate our house to surprise eomma, can you help me?” jeonghan asked. “but appa, what about lunch? I'm hungry! can we eat first?” ha-rin had her tiny brows scrunched together as her tiny hands held onto her stuffed bunny's hand, dragging it around. “of course, give appa 20 minutes okay? I'll turn on pengsu for you on the TV, you can watch as you wait okay?” with that, jeonghan picks ha-rin up and headed straight to the living room.

whipping up a quick lunch for ha-rin wasn't anything difficult, but the swirling thoughts at the back of his mind about things like: where to start? will he have enough time? will you like it? what if it's lacking? all these questions were definitely making a simple lunch far too difficult, a small slip of his hand & jeonghan has accidentally cut himself with the knife. fuck jeonghan grumbled softly. “appa! are you okay?” ha-rin's concerned voice echoed from behind him, the cut stings but jeonghan could only reassure ha-rin that he was okay. jeonghan thinks to himself: he's not about to crumble with just 30 minutes of you being gone. he can do this! it's just a cut, it's just lunch, it's just some decorations. yeah, he can do that, right?

“ha-rin ah, appa's is okay. can you give me 10 more minutes? I'm almost done making lunch.” jeonghan has mustered all the energy he could find in himself to force a smile at his daughter, he could only hope his 4 year old can't see right through him like her mother can. “appa, but eomma says if we have a boo-boo, we have to kiss it better! I can help you!” jeonghan merely giggled when he heard his daughter, “okay, let me clean up and put a bandaid over it first, okay?”

saturday morning_

“yoon ha-rin! are you hiding all the balloons in your room? you can't just keep them because they're pink! I know its your favourite colour but this is for eomma, can you please bring it out?” ha-rin strutted back to her room sulkily with a cute pout adorning her lips, pulling the string of pink heart balloons out of her room before hastily running off to retrieve the drawing she had finish for her mother. “appa! appa! I finished my drawing! is it pretty?” ha-rin presented her drawing, waiting for her father's reaction. she had used up all her tiny fingers and small hands to litter dozens of colourful flowers all over the once empty drawing block, she had even used her elbows to draw the sun as both her small hands were covered in different paint colours. “everything you create is beautiful ha-rin, including this one.” jeonghan had answered as he placed a peck of kiss on her fluffy cheeks which only made ha-rin happier than she already was, clapping both her paint covered hands together in excitement. “do you want to give it to eomma like this or do you want to hang it up?” “I want to hang it up and surprise eomma!!” harin-rin squealed excitedly.

just when jeonghan thought he had everything together & that it was all perfect: ah the dishes and trash it had almost slipped his mind. he was so focused on decorating the house that after cooking yesterday's lunch and dinner, he forgot to do the dishes and throw the trash. “ha-rin ah can you help me gather all the newspapers you laid out under your drawing block on the floor just now? appa has to throw the trash before your eomma gets home.” a light smile paints his face as he thinks back to a few hours earlier where he had asked ha-rin to lay out newspapers on the floor so that the paint won't get on the tiles; he ended up having to change the newspapers 3 times.

saturday afternoon_

jeonghan glanced at the clock, feeling the pressure. ha-rin was running around with balloons, and the house was still a mess. whilst distracted, jeonghan lost his balance while hanging decorations and tumbled off the stool, knocking over paint cans. pain shot through his ankle as he hit the ground.

“appa!” ha-rin’s voice was filled with worry.

“I’m okay,” jeonghan reassured her, but he knew he was hurt. the house was in chaos, and he hadn’t even touched the dishes or the trash yet.

meanwhile, after a tense argument with your mother, you decided to come home early, hoping to find comfort in your small family. you sent jeonghan a text, but he didn’t see it, too focused on cleaning up the mess and dealing with his injury.

walking into the apartment, you were shocked. paint was everywhere, the trash was overflowing, and the dishes were piled up still. “yoon jeonghan!” you yelled. “what happened?!”

“I can explain!” he stammered, but you were too upset to listen. you were seeing red & nothing he's saying is going in.

“you couldn’t even throw out the trash or wash the dishes? and look at this mess! I've been gone for less than 24 hours and this house turns into a god damn jungle!”

ha-rin, overhearing, stomped her foot; coming into her father's defence. “eomma, don’t yell at appa! he was trying to make everything nice for you!” ha-rin angrily picks up her torn out drawing block sheets of art that she deemed wasnt pretty enough for you as she ran off into her room in riot; thinking jeonghan had made you upset, slamming her door.

you finally noticed jeonghan wincing in the now very quiet living room, you turn around to see his hand on his ankle. “hannie-ah, are you hurt?” you asked, your anger melting into concern as you reached your hands out to hold his. despite the pain in this ankle, jeonghan's once tensed muscles now relax under the gentle touch of your hand. suddenly, his ankle doesn't hurt as much & his once drained energy is being fully recharged at the sound of hannie coming out of you.

“oh…i slipped while putting up the balloons,” joonghan admitted embarrassingly, “and I cut my hand earlier. I was trying to surprise you, but everything went wrong.” jeonghan slumped dejectedly.

you softened, kneeling beside him as you take his hands. “i’m sorry i didn’t realize sooner. you didn’t have to do all this…” you say as your eyes start to water, the feeling of guilty and anger at yourself combined with the frustration from the argument you had with your mother was almost too much for you to bare suddenly. “i just wanted everything to be perfect for you,” jeonghan reassured you as he slides his thumb against the back of your hand.

you smiled and kissed his cheek. “you and ha-rin are all I need,” you retrieved your hands to wipe your tears away before cleaning them on your shirt as you held your hand out, “come on, let's go to the hospital and get your ankle checked, then we can clean together when we get back."

saturday night_

ha-rin peeked into your room, “eomma are you still mad

you shook your head. “no, my little angel, come here.” she ran into your arms, and together, the three of you watched tv in your bedroom, laughing and enjoying the time together. “actually…..” you start out, “ha-rin ah, don't you have a playdate with hae-eun tomorrow morning? shouldn't you be sleeping now?” you asked in hopes your daughter would give you some alone time with jeonghan….you had something you needed to tell him. “oh- I almost forgot about tomorrow!” ha-rin quickly sat up from where she was laying her head on your chest, “goodnight eomma goodnight appa!” she moved in closer to peck both you and jeonghan on the cheek and you both do the same to her.

as soon as you watch the bedroom door close behind ha-rin, nervousness and anxiety start to churn your tummy. you were admittedly, worried about how jeonghan will take the news. you turn to look at jeonghan to meet his worried eyes, “are you okay?” he asked as he reached for your hands. “it's not like you to chase ha-rin out of our bedroom…..” his voice trails off slowly before he begins again, “is something wrong?” his concerned eyes searched yours. “hannie-ah…I have something to tell you…” you turn around to reach for the drawer of your bedside table, pulling out pictures of your ultrasound scan from a few days ago and placing them in your husband’s hands as you wait for his reaction. “is this…?” jeonghan's face paints a looks of surprise and happiness; just as you had hoped he would be. you couldn't quite interpret yet for sure though, because this second baby? yeah, it wasn't planned… “I'm preg-” “you're pregnant? oh my god you're pregnant! I'm gonna get to be a dad again!” you watch fondly & adoringly as jeonghan's eyes widened in realisation, how could you ever think he would take the news badly?

“I'm just worried.”

“what about, angel?”

“like, is now really the time? your career will definitely be affected more or less, one way or another, what about our sleep oh my god we won't get any sleep if this kid is anything like ha-rin as a baby. & god, what about ha-rin? is she okay with this? what if she isn't opened to the idea of having another child around? what if that's not what she wants? what if you're too busy? what if i have to do this alone this time? what if-”

“you're doing it again,” he says as he rests his hand atop of yours, reassuring you. “you're spiralling & overthinking again.” his lifts his free hand to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear before resting his hand in between your jaw and neck, his thumb caressing your soft cheeks soothingly. “you haven’t even asked me how i feel about this….” he says; hinting you. there was a slight hint of disappointment to his voice, but it quickly disappears. “well…what do you think hannie?” your glossy eyes lift themselves and finds sight of jeonghan.

“personally, I think whatever time is right as long as its with you, and as long as its what you want. don't worry too much about my career, I was well prepared for whatever was to happen & to take on whatever burden and struggles we might have in the future the day i asked you to marry me." he paused to give you a soft smile.

"do you remember when 8 years ago, you asked if i was serious about us because you felt like we were drifting apart? you were so angry that you even asked if I ever thought about marrying you. I never told you this but the truth was that, i've always wanted to marry you, from the very start, I had just put it at the back of my mind, but somewhere along the line, i realised that if i really wanted to marry you, i had to be prepared. as they always say, love alone just isnt enough sometimes & i never want that to happen to us so i had to be prepared & i had to make sure none of these other factors affect our relationship. I was working day & night, meeting clients of all sorts to build the company & and giving it more stability, making sure I have enough spare funds before I dare take your hand in mine, angel. thats why i was spending more time away from you, because i want to marry you. when i asked you to marry me, i told you i'd let you live a comfortable life without having to work, that if you wanted, we could open that book cafe & that i'd spend all most of my free time with you didn't I? didn't we end up opening that book cafe you've always wanted? the company will do fine without me for a couple of months, ive built it up, havent i?” jeonghan asked with a certain softness to his eyes, as well as his voice. they soften just for you.

“also we're still young, let's really worry about sleep when we hit late 40s, as for ha-rin, she's been asking for a baby brother for awhile now.” “and what if it's not a boy? what if it's a girl? what if that's not what ha-rin wants…-”

“eomma!!!! are we really having a baby?” both you & jeonghan whipped your head around so quick you wouldn't be surprised if they snapped. oh no, did ha-rin hear you? should you just ask her now and get it over and done with? “ha-rin ah,” you say as you helped her back up onto the bed. “appa always tells you you're an angel who got sent to us right?” she nodded her head in response, “appa said I was a good angel & I've come here to do good deeds & help even more children learn to do good deeds!” she answered with ease, her bunny now in her hand. “yes, that's right. but i think eomma and appa must have been really good people in our past lives too because another angel is coming to us.” you said gently, gauging her reaction this time.

“really? is it a boy? a girl?” she asked excitedly as she clapped her hands, “we don't know yet baby, but would you be okay if it was a girl? would you be upset?” you asked as you start to comb your hands through her hair. “if its a boy then we'll be best friends & if its a girl then we'll be the bestest best friend!!!!! i can share my toys!!!!” her toothy-grin was all too much for your weak heart; you picked her up and brought her cheeks up to your lips, peppering her baby soft skin with your playful kisses. “ha-rin ah, why dont you ask eomma what she thinks about this situation? your eomma wont tell me if she's excited or not. i've been happy alone for the past 10 minutes!” jeonghan interrupted as he teasingly sulked.

“appa! we can celebrate and be happy together! eomma too! eomma is excited, of course! didn't you see her smile just now?” ha-rin asked as she now directs her attention on her father. “did she? I didn't see her smile…tell me, pretty, what do you think? ha-rin & I are happy & ready, are you?” a soft sigh escapes your lips as you smile happily genuinely, “I am.” you answer your husband as he smiles knowingly, feeling relieved & at peace at being able to shut your uncertainties down. “I'm going to get sally & we can all sleep together!!!” ha-rin announces as she jumps off the bed & dashes off to her bedroom to retrieve her stuffed giraffe.

“& darling, about what you said earlier,” jeonghan's voice was soothingly gentle yet painfully firm & confident. maybe it's because he knows what he says next has been true & will continue to be, “when have i ever let you do or go through anything alone?”

#seventeen #seventeen fluff #seventeen imagine #svt fluff #svt #svt x reader #svt angst #fanfic #jeonghan #yoon jeonghan x reader #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan imagine #jeonghan seventeen #seventeen x reader #jeonghan angst #jeonghan imagines #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan fluff

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living-d3ad-gh0ul · 2 years ago

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Sunday 11th June 2023, 02.00am

I've sat here for a couple minutes now, trying to think of how to start this post. But I keep coming up blank. So I guess I'll just start writing. I read your post before I came here to write mine, although I had actually planned to write to you tonight anyway. I've been thinking of you every single day since I last wrote to you. All the time, wishing you could be here too. Thank you for the birthday wishes, E <3 Don't worry, you didn't miss it, it's on the 28th of this month. And I'll be 28, too. I don't know where the times bloody gone haha.

The last month has been... wild to say the least. Literally everything has changed. So so much has gone on. When I last wrote to you, we were in limbo, waiting for dad to come around from his mini-coma (that's what I've been calling it, cause it wasn't quite a coma, but he was very very sleepy and couldn't be woken up much). Well he did. He came around. He woke up and he called me on the Thursday of that week, which was 18th May. I think it was only a day or two after I wrote my last post. But god was it good to hear his voice. I cried so so much and so did he. He kept telling me he'd been trying to call me, but I think he'd either been dreaming of calling me or thinking about it. I didn't care though, it was just so fucking good to hear from him and actually talk to him. We spoke on the phone for almost an hour, before he got tired again and I told him to go rest.

The specialist nurse also called me. The day before my dad came around, so the Wednesday. And um.. well.. I don't really know how to say this. She said that he wasn't responding as well or as quickly as they'd hoped he would. Or rather as he should be. So.. they were taking the biopsy and all treatment off the table. They had done some more scans and.. after careful consideration, they decided that my dad was already too far gone. That he is terminal and we're now looking at Palliative care and keeping him comfortable, rather than trying to cure anything. She explained to me that any kind of surgery would just be far too dangerous and that giving him anaesthetic could potentially be fatal. As well as any treatments could maybe him worse rather than better, even at that, they may not too much. They were now formally diagnosing him with a grade 4 malignant tumour. It's called a glioblastoma, which.. unfortunately is one of the most aggressive and deadly. I was devastated to hear this news. I'm still devastated. I asked her if I had to come down there right away, she said no, not right now.. but it'd be wise if I did come soon. Hearing that kind of thing, especially about your parent, is awful. The next day when he came around, they had me and my dad discuss signing a DNACPR (Do Not Attempt CPR). Which he wanted to sign. And I'm not one to go against his wishes, if that's what he wants then that's fine. It's his life and his choice, and he expressed that he didn't want to end up in a worse state if they did do CPR. So we signed it off, as per my father's wishes. It still makes me really sad to think of.

I ended up going down there to Nottingham on the Friday, 19th May. My friend and her partner drove me down to see my dad and I stayed in the guest room at the place where my dad lives, which was nice enough, it was just like a little hotel room really, but with the added bonus of having a small kitchen so I could make my own food and stuff. I saw him on the Saturday too up at the hospital.. and god it was so good to see him. He was obviously laid up in a hospital bed, but I still managed to give him a big cuddle and let him kiss my cheek. We held hands a lot and he told me all the things he wanted to make sure we had set in place, such as a power of attorney and a will and what songs he wanted at his funeral. It was difficult talking about some of it, but I knew it was necessary at this point. So I immediately got to work on all of it over the next few days, getting all the forms ready for the power of attorney (which.. I won't lie, it's kinda scary being in charge of someone else's life, nevermind my own. Cause once it comes through, I'll have control over everything to do with my dad's life. Health, welfare, finance, everything.) and setting up things for him on his new phone, to make things easier for him to access and use.

I was down there for two weeks, visiting him every single day up at the hospital, taking him things he might need or want, spending time with him. It was kinda strange being in a hospital ward every single day, but I didn't want him to go without a visitor at all, especially when I was in his city and my purpose of being there was to see him and make sure he was being looked after okay. It was a really really busy time, because I had to sort out all of his things, visit him and then also clear out his flat and stuff too. And then I had to find a way to get all of his things back to Scotland, because we'd made the decision along with his care team that we'd be looking for a nursing home placement back in Scotland, back home where he belongs and where he can be close to me and where he grew up. Dad was more than happy with this, he was just happy he could be close to me and I could go see him whenever I like, instead of having to travel 5+ hours to see him. I tried to make a little time while I was down there to just.. relax too. I seen some old college friends and old friends from when I lived down there when I was a teenager. I had a night out to a local pub/club with them and it was pretty good. I had felt guilty about it, but my dad told me I better go and have a good time for him and take lots of pictures and show him the next day. Which I did, and he had a big smile on his face the whole time I told him. Every doctor, nurse and care assistant in the hospital said that the minute I was mentioned or the minute he saw me, his face would just completely light up. It's kind of heartwarming to know that I mean that much to someone.

Like I said, it was a really busy time and I had a lot to do, so it passed really quickly. But it also felt like it lasted forever. This last month has felt so quick but also like it's been a year rather than a month. We managed to get dad a place in a nursing home that's only 10 minutes from me, so it's really really handy. I can literally walk to it from my house. We managed to get all his transport and stuff sorted out and he was moved up here on Tuesday of this week (6th June). I had an awful time of trying to find a way to get all dad's stuff up here, but one of my best friends mums actually really fucking helped me out and she came all the way down to Nottingham and picked me up, we both loaded her car up with all my dad's things and then we hit the road back home to Scotland. I made sure to thank the lady at the supported living place my dad lived at for letting me stay in their guest room for so long, she was really nice to me when I stayed there. My dad's family have been helping out a little too, my uncles and their families. But.. they're not very good with this kind of thing. My mother... Well let's just say, I'm currently not on speaking terms with her at all. She's been a little cruel and not compassionate at all. I'd rather not talk too much about that, she's just been a bit nasty about everything when neither me or my dad need it right now. Especially when I'm dealing with so much and basically having to do everything for my dad. I get her and my dad ended badly and that she doesn't like him, but in this kind of situation the least she can do is be a little supportive for me.

So.. dad is in his nursing home back in Scotland, all of the staff seem so nice and again.. they all knew me before I knew them. Apparently my dad does not stop talking about me and he's always telling them how special I am and how much he loves me. I've had so many of them tell me just exactly what he says about me and say that I am the absolute light of his life. Which.. I'll be honest, I don't know how to take haha. It's nice obviously, I'm just not very good at taking compliments. I get all blushy and shy, especially when it's strangers doing it. He's always telling me recently how proud he is of me too, how I'm doing a wonderful job of taking care of him and all his thing, how I'm the best thing that ever happened to him. He's full of other compliments too that he slyly slides in there every now and then too, calling me beautiful and saying how I'm so special to him. Again, I just get all blushy and roll my eyes and stuff and just go "yeah yeah I get it, you love me" lol. But it really is so nice to hear him say it all. Not that he didn't before, he absolutely did. But now it's moreso. It's like he wants to make sure I know exactly just how much he loves me before.. well you know..

His condition has.. kind of deteriorated slowly. Every day he gets a little more forgetful and confused. He can't stand or walk, so he has to use a wheelchair to get around, which someone has to push for him because he has no mobility in his left arm now too. His eyesight is getting a little worse too, especially in his left side. The tumour is pressing on the right side of his brain, so that's making everything on the opposite side not work as well or stop working. He sometimes has little hallucinations or delusions too, which is something that's started up in the past couple weeks. Which.. isn't nice sometimes, especially when he gets upset about them. He's so determined and convinced that they're real, he won't listen to anything anyone says. He's told me he always wants me to be honest with him though, to tell him what's real and what's not real, to keep him right if he gets forgetful or confused. Which I do, I just try and do it in a gentle way where he wouldn't get upset or anything. Especially when he starts thinking my stepmum is still alive.. those ones hurt the most, because they're so difficult to deal with and I don't want to outright tell him "she's passed away". I just feel like that would be cruel. So I try and jog his memory, ask him if he remembers that she was sick and what happened and stuff. That usually helps. But only for a few minutes, his short term memory is really bad and he repeats himself a lot. It's not his fault at all so I just remind him and repeat myself a lot too. Eventually the conversation moves on to something else and he doesn't even remember it happened. It's tough, it's really tough, but I'll do anything I can for him. I love my dad so much and I'm terrified for the end. It's so hard to sit and watch him get sicker and sicker every day. But I try so hard to stay strong for him, to show him how much I care and how much I love him and that he absolutely will not be alone through any of this. I simply will not allow it.

He actually bought me an early birthday present the other day. He paid for me to have my hair done and have a new tattoo (of which I'll attach pictures so you can see). He said he wanted to do that for me because he wanted me to have a nice birthday and to have some "chill time". He knows how much I love having my hair done and getting tattoos, so it was perfect. My dad loves getting tattoos too, me and him actually have a matching one and he has his favourite Moto GP riders signature tattooed on him. He met him one time at one of the races, asked him to sign his arm and literally within half an hour, he was sat in a tattoo shop getting it inked onto himself haha. My dad is a cool fucking dude. We had to sell his bike unfortunately. It was a really really sad thing for both of us, since my dad has never been without a bike for as long as I've lived. Hell even before that actually. But the lady we dealt with through it all was so helpful and she really made it all so much easier. We got the special engravings he had on his bike for my stepmum (one of them actually matches my thigh tattoo, which he had made when he got his new bike after I'd already had my tattoo done), so I decided I was gonna try and find something to do with them. And that's what I did tonight. I'll show you a picture of what I made. It's called a shadowbox. And the pictures in it are actually my dad on his old bike and his bike he just had.

I'm so glad that you're doing okay. And I'm glad you managed to sort out your GPU issue lol. I really want to build a new PC, but mine works fine for now, especially since I don't seem to be using it as much recently what with everything going on. Streaming is so much fun, I had done it for a little while a couple years ago and had a great time doing it. The only reason I stopped was because college got way too busy and then I was working all the time, so I didn't have much of a chance to do it anymore. I think you'd be really really good at it, I'm really excited for you and I'd love to know what you'll be streaming and more about all of that. I'm sorry you feel that way about your band. Have you guys tried writing some new material? Or is it just that as a whole, you just feel like things are a little stagnant? Whatever you choose to do, I support it. I support anything you want to do in life, because I know no matter what it is, it'll be great, because you are great. You really really are. And I am so grateful to you for being here for me, even just like this. I'll be honest, I did tear up a little (happy tears) when I saw you'd written to me again, just to let me know you're still here. It meant so much to me. You mean so much to me.

I really really am sorry that this post is so long again. I'm just about to go to bed and get some sleep, it's been a long day and I just got done making my dad's thing for him before I came here to write to you. I promise you I'm being safe and I know I can come here and write to you if I need to talk. I wish I could like.. actually talk to you right now. I miss your voice so much. But I can still remember it so clearly in my head. I wish I could just.. curl up and have you cuddle me for a little bit. Even if it was just for five minutes. I would really really like that.

I hope you and Chonky are doing well, I really really liked the picture of her. She's so fluffy and she looks so soft. I can't lie, when I seen her picture, I started doing all that baby talk that people do to cute animals and I just wanted to sink my hand into her belly fur and give her belly rubs. If my hand got torn to shreds from doing so, then so be it hahaha. Our little letters are really a bit of a lifeline for me right now. I've been reading yours over and over again a lot the past few weeks. They really do comfort me so much. Just to know you're out there and you're still here and you're thinking of me..

No moon for me tonight, it's been really warm and sunny here for the past few weeks, it's been nice actually. But tonight it rained and there's been some thunder and lightning, so I've been sat at my window watching and listening to that as I write to you.

I can't wait to hear from you again soon, E. And I loved the song. I love City and Colour so much. Dallas Greens voice is so soothing.

I'll talk to you soon. I miss you. I really really do. And thank you for all of this.. for being here for me and comforting me, even if only through our letters.

"Not to touch a hair on your head, leave you as you are, if he felt he had to direct you then direct you into my arms.."

N x

#him

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jodilin65 · 22 years ago

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WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 30, 2002 I hate God for allowing our heat pump to break after all the things that have broken on us already! I really do. I’m gonna hate him even more on the first, no doubt. APS is in back so I’m sure God will be picking out the perfect set of freeloaders to move in if he hasn’t already.

It’s cold and drizzling out.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 29, 2002 Signing in on this very cloudy day. Tom says that according to the weather news, we should see snowcaps up top of the mountains today cuz of all the moisture. Can’t see any yet, though.

Saturday, I tested Tom, who did exactly what I thought/hoped he’d do. As I’ve said before, the man just doesn’t have the heart to come out and admit he isn’t any more interested in sex than I am, though his actions clearly show it. I brought the subject up and he said we’d start tomorrow, which was last Sunday, and how he wanted me to do him by hand. I reminded him that I’ve made the offer to take care of him by hand before, but he didn’t bring it up, so neither did I. Sure enough, when the next day came, he never said a word about it. What this means is that although I doubt I’d feel a shred of guilt if I did end up getting it on with Teddy Bear, whose letter’s now just 90 days away, I’m all the more certain I wouldn’t feel any guilt. I wouldn’t be depriving him in the least.

Before I get to the worst news, about 26 pinkies have arrived over the last few days, and the red truck still comes in back nearly every day.

If anyone had any lingering doubts about a breakage curse being thrown on us, this will kill them off - our fucking heat pump broke! It never fucking ends! We can’t go 6 months without a major break of some kind. Two-year-old heat pumps just don’t give out like this. What is it with this two-year shit anyway? We lost the well at two years and now this at two years - aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!!

It’s so obvious that something wants us to put our money anyplace we don’t want to. Every time we get ready to receive a large sum of money with which we have certain plans, something has to come and fuck us out of our plans. I’m so fucking sick of being kicked back in life financially, never getting ahead. I know someone’s going to have to be called out on account of this, and that alone will cost hundreds. Then, we have to hope to hell we called the right person who knows what the hell they’re doing. Better now than when it’s boiling hot out there (we’re using the portable heaters), but I’m sick of this shit. Totally sick of it! I’m fed up with our stuff breaking and with being forced to put our money in places we shouldn’t have to. We need fences and things like that. Not to have to fix a new heat pump.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 25, 2002 Spoke to Paula a few days ago. Get this - they want to give her 10 lousy days in jail, a $500 fine, and a year’s probation for slugging that cop. Yet the writer goes to jail for 6 months, does 100 hours of community service, and ends up paying thousands towards it. Yes, we really do live in a wonderful world with wonderful people, don’t we?

Tom was saying that it’s not the spontaneous crimes Arizona’s strict about. They’re strict about those that were planned. No shit! Even so, I don’t think Paula would get just 10 days and a year’s probation for slugging a pig out here. No way.

Anyway, Paula, who admits to hitting the pig, said she was hit first. I don’t know what to believe. A lot of pigs are aggressive, and they do hit, so I’d say that yeah, she probably was hit. In that case, she had every right to hit back. Sometimes two wrongs do make a right if you ask me. Sometimes you just have to give back what you get, depending on the situation.

She says her lawyer’s pressuring her to plead guilty. Public pretenders will always try for that. Remember, they’re on the state/county’s side and not their clients.

Received a quick letter from Mary. She thinks Pérez went to Madison, too. Figures, huh? What is it with all the Estrella DOs moving to Madison? Is there anyone there I knew?

She said the testifying’s been delayed till March and that a new prosecutor was assigned to the case. She asked me to look up what I could find on the new prosecutor, but I couldn’t find anything on her.

She hasn’t seen hotdogs in a while. That’s good, but I’ll bet they’d suddenly reappear like magic if I were there!

Hope’s still her celly. I wonder what the hell she’s in there for. I asked Mary, but I have a feeling she won’t tell me.

Other than that, she praised my book again and thanked me for writing as often as I do. Makes her smile, she says.

Believe it or not, I decided to do some wall art, but only in the retreat. I did a ballerina, but I don’t like the way the fat-faced thing turned out. My flowers came out okay, though. Flowers are easy because you don’t have to be so precise with them.

So much for not anticipating Scot till April or May. The cheeks showed up yesterday. It hasn’t even been 3 weeks since his last visit! This is the first time he’s ever come twice in the same month. Tom said it’s simply because he happened to be in the area, but after what’s happened, I’m always suspicious of anyone in the system. It makes me wonder - did I say or do anything to falsely imply we may move? Or is something else going on I don’t know about? I just didn’t expect him to pop in again so soon, but maybe that’s why he did. Well, if he shows up again before mid-February, I’m not opening the door. Just because he hasn’t done anything corrupt yet that we know about, doesn’t mean he’s clean with the best of intentions in mind. He could be a friend of the freeloaders for all I know, biding his time, just waiting to slowly start harassing me. I doubt it, but you just never know. He could suddenly decide to either make demands he knows I can’t/won’t meet or badger me with the hopes that it’d cause me to abscond. Again, I doubt it. He probably was in the area. But just in case, I’m standing my ground against the freeloaders/system. I’m not going to be driven out of my home. I just won’t answer the door much if he starts coming around more often. Maybe if he sees I’m not that accessible, he’ll back off, but if he does have it in mind to start harassing me, and if he can’t get to me in one way, he’ll go another route to get at me. I’d rather him bug me every week, though than tear up the house. I wouldn’t let it happen if I could help it, but that’s my biggest worry. Again, I doubt it’ll happen, but the reason it’s my biggest fear is not only cuz of the humiliation of feeling violated by having strangers pawing through our personal stuff but cuz I know they’ll take something. I know how it is - if they can’t find contraband, they take something that isn’t. They’re not gonna waste all their time and work walking out of here empty-handed. Besides, it’s a power thing, too. Just the idea that they can take from someone. It’s an adrenaline rush for them, making them feel all high and mighty and God-like.

All I can say is what I’ve already said - if he hurts us, he hurts himself. He’ll ruin his career, his life and much more if he steps out of line. Never again will anyone hide behind the law to use and abuse us with it while we lie down and just take it.

I’m shocked to say, after yesterday’s dentist appointment, that I have not one cavity! See, I really think Smith made up a lot of those cavities. I’m so glad I switched dentists. This one’s so much more competent, honest and friendly. She finds new things to compliment me on each time I see her. This time it was my young-looking hands that lack brown spots, and the dimple in my left cheek that I’ve always hated. Looks like a zit to me.

Her assistant was talking about painting stars and clouds on her kid’s ceiling and I mentioned the wall art to them. The dentist thought the idea sounded cool and was curious about it, so I said I’d send some pictures of various wall art to her.

I decided to wait a couple of weeks, at least till he gets paid, before I get another whitening kit, cuz they’re $30. I did get more fluoride toothpaste for $10, though, since I’m not doing the fluoride treatments with the trays. She said we didn’t have to drive all the way in to pick it up, either. She’ll mail it to us, which is very nice of her.

After seeing her, we went through a fast-food drive-through, then to Walgreens. I got silver chrome nail polish, though it looks more like shiny gray than metallic silver. It’s still nice, though.

I also got a vanilla lip gloss and a watermelon one, too.

Then I got 3 Kelsey dolls for $12. They’re close in size to Barbie. I got a blue-eyed blond, a green-eyed redhead, and a brown-eyed brunette. They each came with spare outfits.

MONDAY, JANUARY 21, 2002 I’m trying out a new word processor now. So far, I like how it has a lot of colors to choose from and a built-in text reader, but it has several flaws.

I freed my last male mouse and now all the ladies are living together. I have about a dozen in all till the babies are born.

Decided to do some wall art, after all this time, but only in the retreat. All it is is a music room/storeroom. As soon as the sun comes up and I have better lighting, I’ll attempt some outlines. If those are a success, then we’ll get some markers. I was thinking I’d do floral decorations. Maybe a Bugs Bunny too, like I had on the bedroom wall in Phoenix.

Yesterday morning, just before 7:00, I heard two dogs barking outside the window in front. When I looked out, they were barking at something on the front steps, though at first I couldn’t see what it was. My yanking the blinds up so I could see better scared the dogs back a few feet. Then I saw next door’s big black cat. It jumped off the stairs, then the dogs chased it down toward where it lives. When I glanced out the side door, I thought I saw it lying dead about 80 feet away, but since the sun wasn’t fully up yet, I couldn’t see that it was really a dead cactus slumped over. The cat escaped by climbing up a tree.

The ruckus woke Tom up, but fortunately not too long before he was going to get up, anyway. I’m pretty sick of dogs on our property. These are always huge dogs, too. Never any little poodles or anything like that. So I’m hoping we can do the entire exterior fencing this year. Even though they’d be too big to squeeze through the barbed wire, we talked about stringing a low-voltage wire around the perimeter.

I’m going to try to stay up as late as I can, but I don’t expect I’ll sleep well tomorrow or the next day with them booming away up there. It’ll depend on the time they do it.

When we saw Scot Friday, I told him I decided I didn’t have enough dolls and so I decided to get more. He then said, “Oh, just what the old man needs. I’ll bet he’s thrilled. But there are worse things to collect.” That’s when he told us about people collecting barf bags from planes. Unused, of course.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 17, 2002 Although we both checked, we couldn’t find anything about Paula online. Massachusetts doesn’t air out people’s dirty laundry like Arizona does. Arizona is definitely the most unique state as far as what’s illegal and what’s not. So much so that the Madison Street jail is the only jail in the country with live cameras. Meaning, I can go online and watch them at intake, the very place I was first at! There are 4 different cameras. They show a holding cell, the whole row of holding cells, the search cell, and the area where the mug shots are taken. Wouldn’t it be a trip if I saw Teddy Bear!

Due to the way my stomach reacts so poorly to dairy products, I’ve been forced to change my diet menu. I can’t have dairy or roughage. Especially raw roughage. I’m simply going to have one big chicken, potato and broccoli TV dinner, a bag of popcorn, and some crackers each day. I’ll be hungrier on this menu, but I’d rather be hungry than sick. I’m sick of having so much gas and sometimes getting the runs, too.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 15, 2002 I’m rather tired this cloudy day cuz the freeloaders said I had to get up sooner than I’d have liked so I could see Scot on Friday. If he doesn’t test me then, then who knows when he will?

I finished the East Coast part of my story yesterday, including its final proofreading. Today or tomorrow I’ll start my adventures in the wild, wild West!

Paula’s been through her share of Eastern adventures. Sure enough, she has been busy getting arrested, but as usual, I couldn’t make sense of her rapidly changing and disjointed sentences. Something about speeding and a case of mistaken identity between her and her twin brother Paul concerning her car. Then she said she beat up on this lady cop. Then she’s also in trouble for threatening that woman on school grounds.

She has court this week. The 3 months she spent in Niantic wasn’t the only time she did. She’s done two 6-month sentences. All of which were for assault. I never was kidding when I said she had one aggressive temper! It sounds to me like she’s going to be doing time. I told her to notify me if she does, so I can hold off on sending letters to her.

I hope she curbs her temper soon. You can only point a loaded gun at other people so many times before that gun’s turned on you. Meaning, she’s gonna end up hitting the wrong person and getting herself killed sooner or later.

She says that her father never got packages she sent him in Florida, either.

Paula was so hyped up and even paranoid. It seems she’s more and more paranoid lately, always thinking her phone’s tapped. I got a kick out of how she claims she hears static depending on what she says. As if taps know what’s being said! Anyway, if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear she was on something.

I feel so bad for Justin. She’s always threatening to beat his ass, break his face, punch him out, etc. That kid must be utterly terrified half the time! He’s going to turn out to be a monster. This is the type of rearing that produces the utmost violent people. I know she’s beating on him. I’d be willing to bet she’s never hugged, kissed or praised the kid.

During my interview with Tom, he claimed he didn’t want our relationship to be platonic since I’ve been home and said that he’s only kept his distance cuz I haven’t been interested. No, I haven’t been, but I don’t buy his being interested. Wouldn’t he have brought it up a few times here and there if he was? I think that unlike me, he can’t admit his lack of desire. I told him a few times I was rather indifferent and that if he felt he had to do it, ok, but when he didn’t bother to pursue the matter, I assumed he wasn’t any more interested than I was.

I can live with the same person year after year, obviously, but I can’t have sex with the same person year after year. I want Teddy Bear till I get sick of her and get her out of my system!

MONDAY, JANUARY 14, 2002 We finished making the Barbie stands. We ended up using Plexiglas for the bases as well as the stands and they look really good. A lot better than if we’d used CDs.

Tom set up a can crusher outside so we can crush soda cans and take them in for money. It’ll be like another piggy bank.

I did an “interview” with Tom for my book. He told me more about his childhood, but we haven’t gotten to his adulthood yet.

I can’t believe they’ve been working on that house in back for 3 months now.

Today’s one of those days where I’m really missing Teddy Bear quite badly. As bad as I did a lot of the time during my first few months home. Can’t get the woman off my mind! Will we see each other? And if so, how often, and what will happen? So many questions run through my mind. Has she been alone all this time? Does she miss me?

SATURDAY, JANUARY 12, 2002 Gina still misses me, she told Tom when he dumped stuff at the recycling center. The people she has right now are doing such a lousy job. She hinted at the possibility of having to hire someone, but I’m not about to get my hopes up. If I were meant to be a homemaker like I have been over the years, why would that suddenly change? Seems to me that if I were meant to be working, I’d have been working all along. Also, it’s too good to be true. The job would just be too ideal, and the idea of the freeloaders leading us to more money after they took us for thousands, seems rather ironic. I also have to wonder, if we made more money, would the Gods be more tempted to send someone to steal it from us? It just seems that whenever we have more money than usual, someone rips us off.

For just $20 Tom got an awesome new vacuum. It’s small and you can sling it over your shoulder with a strap. As small as it is, though, it has major suction. It’d be ideal for vacuuming the couch, blinds, utility area, countertops, and the area around the animal cages.

I received mail from the doll company yesterday (Paradise Galleries) and now I have to wait two months for Sugar Plum, the musical ballerina. I guess they’re made and assembled in batches in China.

I also got mail from Mary. It was a quick letter saying she has to testify on the 4th. I wonder if it’d be on the news, being a high-profile case. I’d think the baby killer would generate more media coverage than the stalker.

She said she hasn’t seen Pérez yet, but when she does, she’ll slip her my note/pictures. I get the impression Pérez hasn’t been there in a while. I wonder if she’s still even there. She says there are a lot of new DOs. No Teddy Bear.

She also praised my writing, saying I was a very talented writer and that my life has been like a good thriller. Ha! If she thinks that, wait till she reads my life out here. I’ve decided to have two books. Book one will be Life in New England (the first 26 years of my life) and book two will be Life in the Southwest (ages 26-35). Book one is going to be about 50 pages long with 58 chapters.

I spotted an easy way through the wash that’s in back of the house. It’s not as close to the house as the front wash is. Anyway, I walked through and back towards the rentals. What pieces of shit! No decent white person with a decent, honest job is going to want to live in a dump like that.

It’s quite a walk from this house to the back property line. There are 4 washes on our land. The front one’s just a dozen or so feet from the house, maybe a bit more. The second one’s about 100 feet behind the house, then there’s one about 50 feet from the rental, with one in between. The one in between is pretty half-assed. It’s like it barely formed. This is where he wants to build a barn, whether or not we have horses. It’ll be a good privacy block, as well as the hedges we’re going to put up, and a good way to get water to them. For now, we’re gonna dig a trench and use the old plastic well piping to pipe water out to the hedges.

So, our tentative plans are to put up an interior fence, a doggie door, barb wire the west and north perimeters, porch/screen the 3 doors, though we may not get them screened in this year, plant exterior hedges (mostly in back), and a couple of palms and clumps of cactus in front.

Next year we’ll screen the porches, do the barn, do the pool/AZ room, finish the exterior fencing, and create a circular drive in front that’ll extend over the wash. So he’ll still park where he parks. He just won’t get to that spot the same way he does now, which is driving in between ours and next door’s property.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 10, 2002 Well, I finally get to hear my wind chime and hear it well. Some would find the clanking annoying, but I love the sound of wind chimes. There’s a dust storm blowing through right now and if it’s fronting any rain, I don’t know. It was gorgeous earlier. Around 70 with a gentle, clean-smelling breeze. The perfect weather for opening windows.

I’m beginning to think that yes, Paula is in jail, but I’ll find out sooner or later. I won’t write to her till I do. Besides, I’m still pissed at her for saying she was going to send stuff she knew she wasn’t going to send.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 9, 2002 Down to 120 pounds now.

The red pickup and George are in back again. It sucks to know that the dog the renters will have, and I know they’ll have one cuz their place will be closest to ours, may very well be audible within the house if it’s got a loud bark. Nowhere near as loud as those collies in Phoenix, but it may even be somewhat annoying when we’re outdoors while it’s a straight shot without any hedges to absorb some of the sounds.

Yesterday it was so nice out. Cool in the shade and warm in the sun, the air smelling as clean as can be. Today it’s cloudy and cool with the air reeking of horse shit. I don’t know why you can smell it some days and others you can’t.

Now there’s a white mini-van in back I’ve never seen before.

Tom may be switching to nights and looking at a raise, but we don’t know this yet for sure.

I was pleasantly surprised to get my dolls yesterday. I love them! Some of the colors aren’t quite what they appeared to be online, though. Emerald’s dress looked pine green like Rapunzel’s, but it’s more of an olive green. She’s one realistic-looking doll for $25! Valentine, another member of the fairy series by this artist, isn’t quite as nice, but certainly nice enough. Her dress looked pink online, but it’s mauve. Both the mauve and olive dresses add good variety as far as colors go, though I don’t particularly care for olive. The doll wearing the dress, on the other hand, is great. She has red hair and green eyes, while Valentine has blond hair and blue eyes.

Twinkle looks sensational and also very realistic. She’s no Bailey, but she’s close. Only her gray eyes fringed with auburn lashes aren’t as realistic, but only if you get close up to her. What I like about dolls that are around her size is that you don’t have to get right up to them to see them well enough. Especially the girl dolls, which tend to be thicker. Summer Dream is only a couple of inches shorter in length, yet you have to be close to her to admire her fine, delicate detail. Twinkle’s hair looked washed out online, making it appear white, but it really is white! Talk about variety and originality. It really goes with her fairy theme and her satiny pink outfit. I didn’t attach her wings, though. They were full of glitter and they made a mess. I’m not big on wings anyway. I never attached Angel’s, Linda’s or Valentine’s, but I did attach Emerald’s cuz they were cool looking with just a little glitter and scattered glittery stones.

The little fairies come with some cute accessories. Emerald comes with a gold plastic treasure chest, bedecked with jewels inside and out. There’s even a beaded necklace inside. Valentine comes with a gold wand in which a pink jeweled heart sits on top, and also a plastic butterfly-shaped box with multi-colored jeweled hearts inside. Ashton-Drake wouldn’t sell one of these $25 dolls for under $80! And I can’t believe Twinkle and Praying Spirit were under $200!

Twinkle’s wand is really cool looking, by the way, and she’s my first doll to lie on her tummy.

The only one that wasn’t as impressive in person was Praying Spirit, but she sure is nice enough and I don’t intend to send her back. She looked lighter online and her lips looked rosier, but again, she adds variety to my collection with her hands clasped in prayer and her long braid flowing down the middle of her back. I had done up a cheap doll that was stored away in a braid, but it didn’t look too good.

It was the PO that fucked up and not the doll place. It’s totally something that would have to happen to me, though. I always have to fight for or wait on dolls.

The next one I want to get from them is Blossom for $60 who goes with Twinkle.

When I checked online, I found another picture of Sugar Plum, who’s on her way, and she is poseable. I figured she wouldn’t be all-porcelain like Patrice and Colette, but even so, I’m amazed she’s just $25.

Now there’s a car I can barely see from the angle it’s parked with what appears to be, looking through the binoculars, a white guy and two Indian women standing on the front steps of the house. Perspective renters? Wouldn’t surprise me since we can’t have white neighbors, but I’ll take Indian over black or Mexican.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 8, 2002 There’s been a red pickup, along with George’s white one, in back the last two days. I wonder when it’ll ever have power and people living in it. The longer it takes, the better.

I wonder if Teddy Bear ever did check into some property out here. I’ll find out, hopefully, soon after 111 days.

I fine-tuned my diet to perfection, so I should start losing weight again. I’ve been stuck at 121 pounds.

MONDAY, JANUARY 7, 2002 The dolls still haven’t come, so Tom called them from work at the bank’s expense. The girl he talked to said they usually take 10 days. Then why did they say they shipped priority mail? Priority mail takes only 2-3. God, I hate liars! And if they use regular parcel post, how come they only take 10 days and Ashton-Drake took 3 weeks? And does their 10 days mean “10 days” or 10 “business days?” Well, either way, he feels they’re definitely a legitimate business and that they’ll be here this week. I hope so, cuz even by regular mail, it shouldn’t take this long from San Diego. They were shipped the day after we placed the order like they said they usually do. It’s been 8 days. They also said they can’t put a trace on it till it’s been 30 days, so I’d have to wait till the 28th of this month. I hope my doll luck doesn’t turn out to be that shitty!

We’re now trying out a new way to epoxy the Barbie stands. I thought it’d look better if we epoxied the Plexiglas stand right to the CD. So far, so good. Our prototype’s drying nicely. I think it can handle a 5-oz. doll.

I took a strip of material that Ma had given me and I tacked it across a couple of tall, narrow slots on the entertainment center. That way I could put 4 small dolls in that area.

I definitely want to convert back to having nothing but female mice, so I set up one male with 5 females. Once they have babies, I’ll ditch the males. So I have 3 groups right now. A pair of males, the male and females, and then I’ve got 6 females.

I forgot to say that Scot amazed the shit out of me by not testing me when I saw him on the 4th, and he also stopped by today. He was in and out in a flash, and Mr. Serious was loosened up for a change. He even laughed when he saw all the dolls strewn about the kitchen table. What a stupid ditz he is, though. Talk about being non-observant! He asked if the Bowflex was a Christmas present, saying he hadn’t seen it before!

Anyway, I’m glad he finally came. Now this will be one less thing I have to anticipate bugging me for a while. I don’t expect him back till May.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 6, 2002 Did I get my dolls last Friday? Of course not. They better be here on Monday! I’d be very surprised if they weren’t, despite my shit doll luck. If they’re not, Tom will call them from work. If they took the money Monday, I doubt they shipped them any later than Tuesday. Therefore, I doubt it’d take more than a week to get to me.

We finally got the second story of the rat’s cage back on. It looks pretty neat.

We went outside yesterday and staked out where we want the interior fence to be. It’s going to run from the utility pole at the corner of the house where he parks to the back door. It’ll extend out towards the wash in back, which means Pepper or whatever dog we do get, if we get a dog, will have plenty of room. Way more room than your typical yard in Phoenix.

Next week we should know exactly how much stock money we’ll be getting and what we’ll be doing with it. We’ll at least get some ideas, then we’ll get prices. Some things may cost more or less than we think they do. We didn’t expect to get the satellite this cheap, but that’s why God compensated us with the delay. So you just get more hassles with the money you save. It’s still good to find things for less than you thought because then there’s room for buying more stuff.

As of yesterday, there has been a huge dumpster sitting behind the new rental, but no activity. They’ll probably make up for lost time this coming week.

I’m surprised Paula hasn’t been pestering me. Could she be in jail? Or maybe she’s feeling guilty for lying to me about sending first a doll, then a letter and pictures.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 4, 2002 Oh, how I hope Tom’s right about it being unlikely that I have to piss in front of anyone! Either way, in just a few hours I can get that over with, then get asked the same damn questions, half of which he knows the answer to, like how much time I got total. It really bugs me when he tells me how much time I have left. First of all, I know how much time I have left, and what’s the point of bringing that up? Does he think it’d make me feel better? It’s way too soon to be counting down the probation time. I’m worlds away from the end. I’m not even to the halfway marker yet. This is an annoyance not worth bitching about, but if he ever again refers to them as the “victims,” I will let him know that that bothers me and that I don’t want to hear it. God how I wish that when it wasn’t testing time, he was a gorgeous woman. It’d make it a little easier.

I moved the wind chime I got for Christmas and put it outside the office window. It’s just too hard to hear things like that in this house. Being on the stair rail just wasn’t cutting it. It’d have to be stormy-windy in order to be heard from there.

I was extremely shocked to see four or five p-dogs running around yesterday! I didn’t think they’d return till March.

If all goes well, my Teddy Bear should be 115 days away. Well, I can send the letter. I just have to hope she gets my letter or calls me if she doesn’t. I may send letters to both Estrella and Madison.

Mary sent home some oranges from her orange tree with Tom yesterday, but I couldn’t get into them. They were hard as hell to peel, and I’m just not a citrus person. Ma gave him twenty bucks, so maybe we’ll get treats at Circle K. I’m down four pounds. Down to 121. I think I can get to 115 in 27 days with a few days off from the diet in the midst.

I want my dolls today! Oh, Tom said he knows why he didn’t get an email from them; because it wouldn’t go through. He’s got something set up wrong. Even so, there should be an invoice saying that the doll they didn’t charge us for is out of stock or sold out. I knew someone would be missing or delayed. Especially after Christmas. I also knew they wouldn’t give me a free doll. I’ll bet it’s Emerald or Valentine that I won’t get today.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 3, 2002 Once again they’re talking about the possibility of Tom switching to nights, but who knows if it’ll ever happen? If it does, he’ll make almost two more bucks an hour and would work mainly from 9 PM-5 AM.

They’re also talking about laying other people off, but because that’d mean a lot of money for us, we know it won’t happen. God knows how many more years he’ll be stuck at this bank. At least he can be flexible about his hours, though, at this place. With the freeloaders occupying so much of our lives, he needs all the flexibility he can get.

Speaking of the freeloaders, I told him I was nervous about tomorrow’s trip to Scot, cuz I know he’ll test me, and I fear having to put on a piss show for someone, but Tom said it’s highly unlikely with him being the only PO in Maricopa. Of course, all he has to do is tell me to go to Casa Grande if he wants me to piss for someone that bad. I’ll know to drink a cup of tea before we leave tomorrow. It’s a great diuretic. You can get three or four trips to the bathroom in just one cup.

My bio’s still under construction with no known finish date in sight. I’m still back east. Still in MA. Haven’t even gotten to S. Deerfield yet, for that matter.

Sure enough, there were no dolls yesterday. No message about the one they didn’t bill us for. Tom thinks they may’ve comped the bill on that one for placing such a huge order, but I doubt it. No one’s that generous. If anything, they should comp a doll for the delay. It’s been a week since we placed the order, and holiday or not, I should’ve received the dolls by now. We’re thinking the dolls were shipped Monday because that’s when the money was taken, so that means they shouldn’t be here till tomorrow or Saturday. I don’t want to make him run all the way to the PO on Saturday if they don’t come on Friday, so I’ll just get them next week in that case, unless there’s some further delay.

I wish it were tomorrow afternoon! Then I won’t have to see the cheeks again for two weeks, and I should have my dolls.

They haven’t caught Bin Laden yet, the guy who masterminded the terrorist attacks. They never will either, I’d bet. These are the kinds of people God protects. So, I just try to see the good in it, and that’s that out of the many thousands of people that were killed, a lot of assholes had to be included.

They didn’t have fireworks at Times Square this year so people wouldn’t freak out thinking it was terrorists.

Although I’d go back to sleep if I were tired enough, I’m going to try to stay on a day schedule for the next few months. If I remember correctly, January through March is when they’re booming by a lot.

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 2, 2002 Yesterday we rearranged like I said we were going to with the stereo and entertainment center. I think I’ll like it better this way.

We also cooked salmon. It was the first time Tom tried it. He says he’s going to try eating healthier, but like with most things, I know he won’t stick to it. Anyway, the salmon was way too salty.

Upon ordering the dolls, I read what they had to say about ordering/shipping, and was like - you mean I can just order these and get them in a few days? Yeah, right! Sure enough, as my shit doll luck would have it, one’s out of stock and the 4 that they did charge us for weren’t shipped till Monday. There’s no way I could get them today. And this was informed to me by Tom right after I was thinking that getting all 5 dolls today was a wee bit too good to be true. Why does there always have to be some kind of catch to life’s good things? We rarely get to do things like buy stuff for ourselves like this, yet there’s always a catch. A doll’s out of stock, they screwed up my order, and there’s some glitch within the doll.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 1, 2002 Maricopa, AZ Age 36 I haven’t gotten too many vibes pertaining to this New Year. It doesn’t even feel like it’s New Year’s. All I got was that I would lose weight and that he’d get a raise around March. I can’t see anything for sure on fences, dogs, porches, etc. I don’t even have any Teddy Bear vibes, though I still think she’s coming. I hope so, but if she doesn’t, she doesn’t. I should know for sure one way or another between now and March. I think February will tell me.

As for goals, mine are to be down to 115 pounds come February 1st, 110 by March 1st, 105 by April 1st, and 100 by May 1st. I think I’ll get close if I don’t get all the way down to where I want to go. Don’t have a choice either way. I’ve got to lose some weight because my clothes are pretty tight on me, but I have already dropped some, so that’s cool. I didn’t even need to weigh myself in order to verify it. We could see the difference, and I could feel it, too. When I was 125, just a slight bend to the side would cause my sides to roll, but now it takes a little more than a little bend. Once I hit down around 105, I won’t be able to roll my sides no matter how far towards the side I bend at the waist.

We have to figure out a way to keep Little Buddy from going under the couch or else it’ll be completely destroyed in no time. I was thinking that the best way would be to staple wire or strips of wood in back of its frame.

Had some really cool rearranging ideas. I was thinking that it was rather dumb to have two “stereos” in one room. The music loaded on the computer is there if I want to work out, or if someone’s being noisy while I’m trying to work.

Meanwhile, I thought I’d put the listening/singing stereo in the storeroom (the retreat off of the bedroom). I always thought the music would sound good in that room. It’s our smallest room at 10x10. Also, the way I sit on the floor has really fucking up this semi-cheap carpet, and so I’d prefer to fuck up the carpet in more remote, less-traveled areas of the house.

I screwed a curtain rod about a half-inch from the floor in the doorway to the music room, as I’ll now call it, and Tom’s office to keep the rat out. Before, he was blocking off his dump with wire.

Lastly, I got this awesome idea for the entertainment center that he built that’s been in my office ever since we got the big-screen TV. This one may be hard to describe, but anyway, it’s got 3 columns of shelves. The first one’s about 5’ high with 3 shelves just over 22”. Each varies in height. The second column’s barely 2’ tall. It too, has 3 shelves that are 25” wide. The third column is about 4’ high with 3 shelves that are just under 22”. Well, for the most part, the dolls are too tall to go anywhere but on the top shelves, and one of the 3 top shelves was taken up by the stereo, then the monitor. If I turn it on its side, with the highest part being at the bottom, I could fit more dolls in, though not on the bottom, cuz of the rat. The shelves would be skinnier and taller, rather than short and wide. Perfect for my 22” dolls. Once turned, it’ll be C-shaped, with the bottom of the C extending out more.

I also remembered seeing an age on the tag inside the sleeper Jade’s wearing that Bailey came in. Instead of spending $100 on a dress for her at a place like JBS Dolls, I could go to K-Mart and look for something within the same age group. I still need to get her a stand someday, too.

I sent Mary some more of my own story, and some journal stuff to Paula, even though she doesn’t deserve it. I still don’t like being lied to like that just to get tapes and keep letters coming.

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starlight-time-machine · 4 months ago

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Week in Review

09/29/2024 – 10/05/2024

Sunday

Week 34 of missing Cipher Academy

UNDEAD UNLUCK WE ARE SOOOOOOOO BACKKKKKKKK LET’S GET THESE FIGHTS ROLLING

Today was the last day of the mobile game Revue Starlight Re LIVE. I’ve been working for the last two months to archive the game’s story, and I’d been working on the wiki for this game for almost three years before that. Revue Starlight is one of if not my favourite anime of all time, and everything about it has irrevocably changed my life. The game’s been with me for the past six years. It’s become an integral part of my life – not just playing it, but thinking about it and documenting it and talking about it with others. Getting excited over datamines and theorycrafting about what could be next. Planning out troupe strategies and coordinating with my teammates. Waking up every six hours to use up my stamina for events or tearing my hair out over difficult stages. Saving for months and months until I could pull for my favourite girls in the gacha. Logging in every day without fail, at night or in the morning or at noon or in the afternoon. Playing while I ate or watched YouTube or listened to music or updated the wiki. I literally scheduled my life around wiki updates like a rock embedded in a tree that learned to grow around it. Even when people complained about the gacha system or the events, I always loved it. I love everything about it, even now. My only regret is that I never really got to read any of the stories. I always thought I’d do it eventually…I always thought I’d have more time. Archives exist, of course, and there’s a private server in the works, but it won’t ever be the same as having the game on my phone or tablet and being able to carry it with me wherever I went. As having it in my life every single day. Hopefully I’ll still be able to carry it with me, but just in my heart from now on. I love Revue Starlight Re LIVE so so so so so much, and I’ll miss it every day.

Monday

Finished Makeine and it was a pretty fun show. I really liked the Cultural Festival arc, even if it ended a bit messily – Nukumizu forcibly taking over the President role for Komari even though it was entrusted to her was never going to go over well, and it almost comes off as forcing Komari to admit defeat that she’ll never be good enough to do it… But that scene where she bares her feelings through text was really well done, and I can accept some teenage drama messiness where there really wasn’t a winning solution to be found. I probably won’t read the manga (unless they never make more of the anime, in which case I’ll wait until the light novels end and then see if I feel like reading Nukumizu and Anna’s slow burn romance), but the anime was a great watch and a 8/10 for me.

Tuesday

Nothing

Wednesday

Nui ni Koishite mo Ii desu ka? updated with its last chapter and man…I really wish this series was given more time to grow and develop. I would’ve loved to see the main couple overcome various wacky scenarios together and grow closer as a result, but unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be. I enjoyed my time with it, though, so I’ll give it a 6/10.

Watched harmoe’s 3rd tour, “ii’m here,” and it’s so beautiful… harmoe are just on an entirely different level when it comes to music and choreography. I thought All of Me was a little goofy, but I do love the way that it looks like they’re an anime character slowly creeping closer towards you. And then HyperLoveSong just absolutely blew me away…everything about it makes me think of the journey they’ve had so far, and the love that they have for each other and us… It’s everything.

Thursday

Nothing

Friday

Nothing

Saturday

Watched Grand Theft Hamlet and it was…okay. I thought I’d love it because I love emergent narratives and pursuing “silly” things with sincerity but this just tonally fell flat for me. They tried too hard to fit it into a conventional documentary story mould: the staged arguments about how “GTA Hamlet is all I have” and “You hardly spend time with me anymore because you’re so caught up in this project” were so cringe and forced, and they don’t even really get resolved by the end other than the assumed happy ending that comes from pulling the production off and winning an award for it. This probably seems like a crazy stupid idea for normies, but as someone who grew up in the YouTube Let’s Play mines (Car Boys and PBG’s Minecraft Hardcore series and any number of Nuzlockes come to mind), the so-called monumental task they were attempting seemed laughably easy to me, especially since they got people from outside of GTA to act in it (the alternate universe version of this movie where they recruited entirely within GTA and got gamers to care about Shakespeare would’ve been peak). The real difficulty seemed to be scheduling issues and getting the audience from place to place within the game, and that wasn’t all that compelling. And I was annoyed that they showed so little of the actual production. I didn’t enjoy the journey all that much, so I was at least looking forward to the destination… The postulating about Hamlet was also annoying because the observations were all so surface-level lol I would’ve rather the themes come up naturally through the course of this documentary rather than monologued to me by the director and tied back into the themes of Hamlet like a high schooler having to write a comparative essay. If you want to ruminate on creating art in a violent video game world and what humans can accomplish with a shared but insignificant seeming goal, go watch Griffin McElroy’s Peacecraft instead. 4/10.

I made the mistake of bingereading all of Shounen no Abyss in a single night and it was also mid. The suffering vortex certainly drew me in (otherwise I wouldn’t’ve read it in one sitting), but the ending was so lackluster that it made the rest of the series feel meaningless. I thought the writing was fairly competent and considered, even if certain backstory elements/character motivations were dialled up to an eleven for the sake of drama. I was willing to buy into that campiness (and the fact that everyone wants to fuck/control/own Reiji lol), but it really just reached an unsatisfying head by the end. Nagi was definitely the weakest point – for being Reiji’s number one fixation and the catalyst to this entire mess unravelling, she never had enough focus in the story to warrant this idolization of her. (Also the writer meeting her by chance right after finding out that Reiji liked her was ridiculous). But still, I did like a lot of the writing – I clocked Gen’s whole deal pretty early on, but I’m still surprised that they went through with it, even if it was kind of just for shock factor. I would’ve liked to see their identity properly explored, but the final chapter left So Much to be desired that we don’t even have time to get into all that. I liked Chako’s realistic feelings and how her Tragic Backstory was realistically down-to-earth but still understandably upsetting. I was fairly ambivalent to the mom and the writer’s torrid romance, but I did like that Shino’oka makes the point of the writer romanticizing his image of Reiji’s mom as being an innocent victim in need of saving, when in reality she was as flawed and greedy as the rest of them and kicked her own boyfriend to his death. It’s believable that so many would be taken in by her charm and vortex of manipulation. The teacher had the most insane ups and downs in this series, but my favourite part of the whole thing was seeing her go toe-to-toe with Reiji’s mom in the gaslight gatekeep girlboss Olympics LOL the psychological and social manipulation on both sides was really like watching a Shounen battle arc. But then everything just devolved into absolute misery porn with Nagi’s super evil villain uncle and the teacher redirecting her terminal yandere syndrome towards him instead, and Nagi and Reiji’s suicide pact being resolved off-screen and mentioned offhandedly in a timeskip… That whole last chapter was really such a mess, and just illuminated how there was no real thesis for all this suffering – it was just suffering for suffering’s sake, or suffering for increased readership’s sake, I suppose. At this point, I’m just glad it’s over. I’ve escaped. I’ll give it a 6/10, because the writing for most of the series did really engage me, and I loved a lot of the visuals (that one panel of Chako and Reiji hugging/trapping Gen took my breath away when I saw it).

Oh! Just realized that this is the 52nd Week in Review!!!!! I didn’t know if I could keep this up for a whole year, but it’s been a great outlet for expelling all the thoughts I have about media that no one cares to hear. I’ve gotten so comfortable with writing these things that I almost hope that no one reads them lol but the best part is being able to Ctrl+F and find my previous writings and reflect on my opinions. My memory isn’t the best, so having this record of my life is fun… Here’s to another year.

#week in review #2024

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dollycas · 4 months ago

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Sunday Salon / Sunday Post – A Week in the Life of Dollycas – Weekly Rewind – New Arrivals

The Sunday Salon is a Facebook group that has become an informal week-in-review gathering place for bloggers. It is also a place to share our thoughts about things of a bookish nature. You can also link up weekly on Readerbuzz. The Sunday Post is a weekly meme hosted by Kimberly @ Caffeinated Book Reviewer ~ It’s a chance to share news~ A post to recap the past week on your blog, showcase books and things we have received, and share news about what is coming up on our blog for the week ahead. HAPPY SUNDAY EVERYONE! Wednesday was Daughter #1's birthday. She had to work a long shift but did have a nice dinner with her fiancé. We are all busy planning for their wedding next month. Thursday, Miss Charlotte was named Student of the Month. She had a rough few days with the transition to a full day of school but is doing great now. Her teacher is proud of her and so are we. Friday and Saturday were full of grandsons playing sports. Due to not recovering as quickly as I had hoped from my fall last week, I wasn't able to attend. I tweaked my knee good and my face looks like I went a few rounds in a boxing ring. Our outside camera caught the action, and I hit the step hard with my face and the sound made me cringe. So Friday night Kaden had a game about 90 minutes away. Mr. Dollycas and Remi traveled to the game. I watch the game on television. It was nice to have a soft chair and a bathroom nearby, LOL, but when I saw Kaden after the game walking to his Papa to get the after-game hugs, it broke my heart that I wasn't there. They won 42 - 7. The refs made some questionable calls. Kaden was held by his jersey one time so badly, it was so clear, I saw it on the TV and those cameras are not that close to the action. He played great as did all the boys but one of their key players was injured. We will have to wait to see if he will be able to play next week. It will be one of their tougher games this season and I will be in the stands. Saturday morning Remington had a home game about 30 minutes from here. Again Mr. Dollycas went to the game and I stayed home. His games aren't televised :( but I got the highlights from Mr. Dollycas when he came home. They won 30 - 0. Remi played both offense and defense and hurried the quarterback on a throw that was then intercepted leading to another score. While he was gone I had a huge surprise when Kaden walked in the door to give me my hugs. He came up here to watch Thomas play in his end-of-year soccer tournament. They won their 1st game, lost their 2nd, and won their 3rd game after a shootout. Thomas scored several goals including 1 in the shootout. They took 3rd place in the tournament. Each player received a trophy and ice cream at Culver's. I am beyond proud of this little boy and his team. They improved so much throughout the season. Maybe having Mom and Dad coach this year was the key. Plus he was thrilled that Kaden was there to watch. How was your week? Weekly Rewind - September 23 - 18, 2024 Monday - My Reading Itinerary Monday! – Week #39 – 2024 Tuesday - Furever After (Magical Cats) by Sofie Kelly #Review @BerkleyPub Wednesday - Cozy Wednesday featuring Bell, Book and Corpses (A Nick and Nora Mystery) by T. C. LoTempio #Review / #Giveaway – Great Escapes Book Tour – @RoccoBlogger Thursday - Lyin’ Eyes: The Country Club Murders by Julie Mulhern #Review @JulieMulhern Plus - Gone Crazy (Rory Naysmith Mysteries) by Terry Korth Fischer #Spotlight/ #Giveaway – Great Escapes Book Tour @TerryIsWriting And - Cozy Con South – Kensington Cozies @KensingtonBooks @mcintyresbooks Friday - #FlashbackFriday – Reading Between the Crimes (A Jane Doe Book Club Mystery) by Kate Young #Review / #Giveaway @crookedlanebooks @KAYoungBooks Saturday - Special Guest – Denise Jaden – Author of Murder in the Hidden Cargo Hold: Olivia Ocean Cruise Ship Mysteries #AuthorInterview / #Giveaway – Great Escapes Book Tour – @denise.jaden Plus - Special Guest – Denise Jaden – Author of Murder in the Hidden Cargo Hold: Olivia Ocean Cruise Ship Mysteries #AuthorInterview / #Giveaway – Great Escapes Book Tour – @denise.jaden HAPPY READING EVERYONE! Your Escape Into A Good Book Travel Agent Read the full article

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hlmowrer · 2 years ago

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Week 22: My life is a haphazard mess, but maybe that's a good thing?

What a week. Let me incoherently tell you about it!

Sunday:

So remember that really long talk I wrote in a single day? Well, Elder Sines had also been asked to speak (for a shorter, more introductory time) so I really hyped him up to take a bit of extra time..and boy was he listening. This dude talked for like 17 minutes! President Kimball had anticipated that we might struggle to fill time so he had added an extra musical number to the program as well...the end result was me giving my talk in the final 5 minutes of the meeting. I had to skip over entire pages on the fly! It was good life experience I suppose, and everyone seemed to enjoy the meeting. Later in the evening we had a zone finding challenge...there was a points system for how many people we could find and talk to in an hour. Elder Sines and I tried to full send our effort, but it turns out even downtown Kalkaska on a warm Sunday night is super dead. It was genuinely hard to find anyone outside, much less get them to talk to us. Eventually we found a group of people playing a card game in a park, so we didn't come dead last in the challenge at least.

Monday:

We met with Ben again! We had a great chat about the Plan of Salvation and why Adam's fall was necessary. We read out of 2 Nephi 2 in the Book of Mormon as we discussed, and that seemed to really help with his reading comprehension. (He had struggled to get much out of his personal reading when there wasn't a relevant discussion topic to go with it) After we were done studying, we had a neat chat about aviation (apparently he's thinking about going to flight school!) and Ben's dad showed up and offered us pizza! It was epic.

Tuesday:

Today was a bit hard. It was a pretty gludgy, empty day for most of the afternoon, and then in the evening we met with President Kimball and Brother Hoover (Our branch president and branch mission leader respectively), and they had a very long training about how we need to be all in and always using time efficiently and so on. I've always had a hard time with endurance, and my introversion makes my need for personal time really strong. It's hard for me to listen to stories about missionaries really "giving it their all" and feel motivated...I usually end up feeling quite the opposite. P. Kimball and B. Hoover did have some good suggestions for what we could try this week though, and I think Elder Sines got a lot more out of their pep talk than I did. He was also willing to listen to some of my frustrations about it, and it's really nice to know I can speak candidly to him.

Wednesday:

Today's highlight was an impromptu zone conference in Traverse City with President and Sister Heap (yes I know I said I wouldn't see them again...this was added to the schedule last minute.) President and SIster Heap shared some thoughts about what they wanted us to remember and focus on...the things they felt were most important for us to remember going forward. They told us a bit more about how the presidency transition would go logistically, and they bore really powerful departing testimonies. Sister Heap's really got me too...Sister Heap has always been the organized, stable foil to President Heap's energy and emotion. Seeing her speak powerfully and even cry a little was very unexpected, but honestly proves that she really meant it. Over the past several months I've really come to love and rely on the Heaps, and I'm genuinely quite sad to see them go.

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday:

These days shared a trend of a few successes intermingled with quite a lot of amusingly stupid fails. I got a nasty cold that made it hard to breath and therefore a bit loopy. We had a really great new member lesson with Kami, met a new friend on Facebook called James, and got some really good intel from a branch presidency member while we built his floor for him. Interspersed with these victories were a bunch of really annoying L's, ranging from the really sad (One of our new members has repeatedly cancelled appointments and is ignoring all attempts to contact him) to the just plain stupid (We drove to like 5 different markets trying to find pizza before settling for a crappy hot dog...which I promptly dropped face down on my pants). It's hard to be in the right place at the right time when it comes to finding new people as well...Kalkaska is pretty dead, so we have to go to other towns to be effective but we have to plan that in advance so sometimes we just get stuck in Kalkaska during prime hours with nothing to do. On a brighter note, Elder Sines and I have taken to just hanging out before bed in the evenings and sharing funny stories from our past. I'm really grateful for the fact that I can not only get along with him, but I can actually enjoy hanging out with him too.

I'm going to be honest, I hate this email. There's so much more I'd like to say, but it's hard to articulate what's actually important about these experiences a lot of the time. Sufficeth it to say, I'm continuing to learn a lot of life lessons out here. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing well, and sometimes I don't. But at the end of the day, this is my life. I'm growing here, and that's what this life is for. So I guess everything is going along great :)

Love you all <3

-Elder Beren Mowrer

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atozphantomsquadron · 2 years ago

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Chapter Twelve: The Muster

July 20th

The sun rises on what may be one of my last mornings on this planet. The knowledge of this gets heavier with each passing moment as I awaken and sit up in bed, my eyes traveling up to the mountain lion head.

I pat my old, taxidermied friend on his wrinkled snout, in mid-snarl. “I never thought you would outlast me.”

The dead glass eyes in the trophy stare back, impassive, much like I need to be this morning. After all, today I start mustering our troops.

At the conclusion of the meeting when I revealed the battle plan for Operation Glass Jaw, we formalized our initial loose plan to train the supernaturals we have rescued to fight. Every one of us is scheduled to conduct one day of training a week each for the next month, to prepare our forces for the eventual siege on the Ranch. Each of us drew straws for which day we would lead the training. Teresa Iles drew Mondays, to train on physical aptitudes, like running, jumping, and evading fire. Michi drew Tuesdays, where she’s taking the magic users through their ropes, while the non-magic supernaturals continue physical training. Wednesdays fell to Aunt Kitty, who’s taken it upon herself to teach all of us how to fire every weapon she has available at the Ranch. William drew Thursdays, when he’s teaching field triage and first aid. Fridays were drawn by Gabe, who uses it as a strategy day, to share New Empire tactical data and countermeasures. Uncle Cyrus got Saturdays, which he’s using to train the last-line defenders how to fully guard the Avalon door, while all the others continue training on their own.

I wound up with Sundays. Which meant I wound up first. I haven’t the damnedest idea what I’m going to do with these people, but I’ll give it my best shot. I dress in clothes suitable for light physical activity and head down to the dining room. Aunt Kitty stands by the counter, serving up plates of food to us all.

She gives me my plate. “Don’t get too nervous today, kiddo. They need you on top of your game.”

I smirk. “Thanks.” The added pressure isn’t helping me one bit. Michi waves frantically over to me, and I join her quickly at the table. William, oddly, is kind of distant … he’s talking with Dad fairly animatedly, but I don’t know why.

Michi quickly pulls my attention away from them. “So what are you going to train us in today?”

I give a non-committed shrug. “I don’t really know, actually. Everybody else has certain specialties. All I have is accidental heroism under my belt.”

Michi punches me playfully, but with her new supernatural strength it hurts like hell. “Don’t worry, Alanna. You’re going to be fine. After all, accidental heroism is something that’s in short supply, so we need a little bit more.”

I give a sly wink to my best friend. “I’m sure.” I look back over toward William and Dad. Every so often William looks up at me, barely acknowledging my presence, but then he turns back to Dad and rejoins their conversation. I sigh deeply, picking at my breakfast.

“What happened between you two?” Michi ponders. “Did you guys have a fight?”

“What? No, no we didn’t,” I retort with a start. “It’s just … well, since we got back from DC, he’s been so … solitary on me. I think I accidentally insulted him or something … he won’t come close to me, and he certainly doesn’t give as much affection as he did before.”

Michi looks back over to where William and Dad are talking, then back at me. “Ahh, don’t worry about it. I think if you give him a few days, things’ll be right back to where they were. Besides, even if I’m wrong, you still got me.” She winks and holds out her pinky. “BFF’s to the end, right?”

I can’t help but laugh, as I loop my own pinky with hers. “BFF’s to the end.” The seriousness of the situation is starting to sink in on me, and I suddenly grasp Michi’s entire hand. “Sisters beyond the end.”

Michi seems startled for a moment, then gives a warm smile. “Sisters.” She clutches my hand tightly once more before standing up and leaving the table. I turn my attention back to the scrambled eggs and chopped bison steak on the plate in front of me, my appetite newly returned. All through breakfast, though, I keep an eye on William and Dad.

With food down me, I head outside to the main field of the Ranch, to where Uncle Cyrus and Gabe are already standing. With them is a large crowd of supernaturals, roughly about two hundred in number, all of them looking as confused as I feel. Gabe motions for me to join him, and I pick up my pace to meet the two men.

“How do things look this morning?” I ask gently.

“Fair to middling,” Uncle Cyrus responds. “This is all the supernaturals we could muster together from our rescues, all of them have been brought back from Avalon, and all of them are really reluctant to fight.”

Gabe’s eyes darken. “It’s going to be up to you to show them that they can survive battle, and that they can win this war. You’ll have to be an example.”

Always the icon. Of course.

“I’ll do my best,” I respond, “although this group looks pretty rough.”

“They’ll get the polish from the other instructors,” Gabe insists. “What they need from you is training on how to be a supernatural.”

“Many of these people only have latent powers, which means they haven’t really used their powers extensively yet,” Uncle Cyrus explains. “A lot of them are self-conscious about them, life in the New Empire doing that to a person with powers.”

I can certainly understand that. Even the suspicion you might be a supernatural tends to get you scurried off to a far-away prison cell in the New Empire, so for sure these actual supernaturals won’t want to be showing off.

“Are you ready?” Gabe asks.

I close my eyes, trying to find a place of inner peace. My mind laughs at me. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Your audience awaits, then.” Gabe motions to the front of the group, where he has a bullhorn waiting.

I walk over to the tool and pick it up, flipping on its switch and speaking into it. “May I have your attention, please?” My voice booms over the heads of the group, who stop their individual conversations to turn their attention my way. “Thank you. If you don’t know me, I should introduce myself. My name is Alanna Sharpe, and I will be training you today.”

“You? Train us?” One voice cracks wise at the back of the group. “You’re a kid yourself!”

The crowd parts so that I can see my opposition. It’s an older man, looking around forty or so, and his eyes are glowing. I start walking toward him. “What’s your name, sir?”

He smirks and crosses his arms. “It’s Urich. Samuel Urich.”

“Well, Mr. Urich, what are your supernatural abilities?”

“Uh, hell-LO!” He points at his eyes. “These glowy eyes got my ass in trouble from every SSA troop from here to Bakersfield. What do you think?”

I’m now face-to-face with him. Sort of … he’s about five inches taller. “And what use are those ‘glowy eyes’ of yours in a fight? Do you even know how to use them to your advantage?”

I might have caught him off balance, but he’s not showing it. “Sure I do. I stare, someone else shoots. I try not to die.”

“A little too simplistic,” I retort. “There’s got to be some reason why your eyes glow.” My rage is starting to climb the longer this conversation continues.

Urich snorts. “You’re supposed to be that super-scary terrorist? What’s your supernatural power, texting your boyfriend 24 hours a day?”

I narrow my eyes. “Have you fought the SSA?”

“Yeah, why do you think I’m here?”

“Have you had to fight them every single day for years? Have you had your entire family taken away from you by them? Have you had the SSA target you specifically as a wanted criminal so that no place in the nation was safe for you? That’s my life right now, Mr. Urich.”

Urich snorts again. He sounds like a pig … “And what about that makes you qualified to teach us anything, little girl?”

That tears it. Images start echoing through my mind, specifically Scolar’s insistence on calling me “hatchling.” The rage bubbles over, as does the burning coming up my throat. I launch a fire stream right into Urich’s midsection, blasting him backward and over a large group of the other supernaturals behind him, who all rush to his side once he lands to put out his flaming clothes.

I let out a long puff of smoke from my nose. “Does anyone else have an objection?” I scream at the rest of the assemblage. Quiet murmuring is all I get in response. “All right then. I’m tasked with training all of you in how to use your supernatural abilities to your advantage in battle. This is something you will need to know if you are to survive the coming fight. The SSA will no longer take prisoners, this is now a fight for our very survival.”

More murmuring, this time of the worried variety. Samuel Urich finally stands up again and is helped back over to the group, but this time he remains quiet.

“For the next month of Sundays, I will be helping all of you get a handle on your supernatural abilities. We will explore every aspect of your powers, leave no stone unturned. You will know everything there is to know about yourself by the time we’re finished with this, and every possible way you can use those powers. Even the most seemingly useless power will be useful.”

The rest of the group sits down on the ground, listening intently to me. I’m not used to this kind of attention … I’m not entirely sure I like it. One man raises his hand, and thankfully it’s someone I recognize, Jerry Tile. “How will you be dividing us up?”

“Good question, thank you. You will be placed into two divisions, Attack and Support. Those of you with powers that create chaos and destruction … powers like the one I just used … you will be in the Attack division. Anyone whose power can be weaponized will basically be in this division. The rest of you, those who have powers more aimed toward recovery and healing, will be in the Support division. Jerry, for instance, your power to rebuild weapons and equipment puts you in the Support division.”

Jerry nods in confirmation.

“Everyone, today will be the day that we make the divisions. You will need to demonstrate your supernatural abilities before myself, Mr. Salem, and Mr. Francis.” I motion toward Uncle Cyrus and Gabe. “We will be making the decisions on who goes into which division. For now, please form an orderly line, and we will take you in turn to a secluded field for your demonstrations.”

The rest of the day is spent evaluating powers, and taking notes on who’s available and who is the most powerful. Jerry, naturally, winds up in the Support division. Because he isn’t training, Trent Gracin gives us a demonstration of exactly what his insect powers entail, which earns him a spot in the Attack division. Samuel Urich, it turns out, is a healer and those “glowy” eyes produce x-rays; while it’s all the more reason for me to blast him above and beyond his insubordination, he winds up in the Support division as a medic, and I give him precise instructions to get additional medical training from William and Grandmother.

Some of these supernaturals will be more useful than others. One of them has a power almost identical to Yolanda French’s, only instead of producing projectile guns from their arms they spew various forms of caustic gas; definitely the Attack division. Many of the Attack division supernaturals have obvious gifts which will help in a fight, but others are more subtle such as Lydia Dales, a woman I met at my birthday party three years ago whose power involved producing wine from her hands. Isaac Portland, the explosive flatulence supernatural from the same party, also winds up in Attack.

The Support division is less than half the Attack division by the end of the day, however, and includes many folks who came to the Ranch while I was in the Inferno. Betty Rancin, a mechanic who apparently can repair any intricate machine she touches through a psychic ability, naturally gets a Support role. So do Tyler Wauk, whose ability involves sucking poisons out of other people, and Quincy Alenia, whose ears can tune into any radio frequency; Quincy in particular will be useful for picking up reports of enemy movements. By the time the sun sets, we have our exact numbers for each division. Both Uncle Cyrus and Gabe count up and confirm their numbers before handing me a tally sheet.

SUPPORT: 38 Healers, 18 Communicators, 24 Fix-Its, 80 total

ATTACK: 83 Projectile, 58 Close Quarters, 66 Mages, 19 Defensive, 226 total

TOTAL FORCES: 306

It looks like a register for Dungeons and Dragons. If only it wasn’t the entire force defending supernaturals everywhere from an enormous enemy army looking to eliminate them all from the face of the planet.

#phantom squadron #eden inviolate

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funnywiccanwritingcorner · 2 years ago

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Le Joyau le plus precieux - Candyfloss

Chapter V

-One two three, one two three... Come on, girls, rhythm!- Madame Louise urged her dancers to properly dance the new choreography, while Luke strummed on the piano and Cheyenne helped Amélie with her homework at a table in the hall of the Moulin Rouge. The little girl herself, at one point, exclaimed: -Ah, mommy! Do you remember my friend Billy, the boy who sells candy?- -Yes, I remember, my darling. Why?- -Later, shall we go to his shop? I know where it is!- She waved the business card under the nose of her mother. -The sooner you finish maths, the sooner we'll go, okay?- -Can I come too? I'd like to buy some chocolates for Joe- Luke inserted himself. -What is this, cousin, some kind of a month-iversary?- -I don't need an excuse to give my man a little present.- -Good point!- chirped Madame.

Mixing the ingredients of the toffee on a special machine, Billy went back and forth like a worker bee, humming a tune with his mouth closed. He didn't understand why, but he he had woken up very well that Monday. The door bell rang, and a little girl's voice called to him from upstairs: -Billy! Where are you?- Looking out of the trapdoor, the boy answered: -Who's looking for me?- Amélie went behind the counter and smiled: -Hello!- -Hey! What's up?- Cheyenne and Luke reached the little girl; Billy recognised the latter: -Hello!- He stepped out of the trapdoor and immediately looked around: -There's no Detective Dalton, is there?- -Oh no, don't worry; he's at the station at the moment.- -That's just as well; that man terrifies me...- He turned to the girl: -And she's your mother?- -Cheyenne Strokes- she introduced herself, -And we're here to get our fill of sweets; it's not only Amelie who has a sweet tooth, I confess!-

At that moment a short ringing alerted the boy that he had received a message on his mobile phone: -Ah, sorry, I always forget to put it on silent lately...- He checked the sender, taking the device from his jacket pocket. It was Jesse. Looking over the blond man's shoulder, Luke interjected: -Oh, so it's true!- -What?- -A certain Miss Jane told Joe that you had started dating Jesse James, or so he thought from the description she gave him.- Billy tilted his head in puzzlement: -We're not "dating", we're just hanging out together, and it just happened this Saturday.- -Billy has a boyfriend!- exclaimed Amélie all happy, placing some candies on the counter. -He's not my boyfriend!- huffed the boy blushing and crossing his arms, -We're... almost friends, that is.- -Well, answer him, it's not nice to keep friends waiting- said Cheyenne, -Me and Amélie meanwhile let's decide how to fill the shopping bag!- -And I'm looking for some dark chocolates with lemon for Joe, they're his favourite- Luke added. -Gift box?- -Would be nice.- -That top shelf. Get as many as you want and bring them to the counter, it'll take me five minutes to wrap them up.- Meanwhile, he opened the message: "Good morning to you, how are you today? I was planning to go to the cinema this Wednesday, and I would love it if you wanted to join me." This was followed by a smiley face. "He wrote me a poem!" chuckled Billy, typing back, "Morning, daddy! All good, and you? I'm in, just tell me at what time!" -Daddy?- Cheyenne, like her cousin, had taken to peering at the mobile phone screen. -Hey! That's private stuff!- On the other end, the actor winced slightly after reading the message: still that nickname. -Jesse, let's start with the rehearsal- a colleague called him, who moved a couple of chairs to prepare the scene. -One second.- He sent his reply and grabbed his script.

The weather proved to be decidedly unreliable that Wednesday. Clear weather was forecast for the whole week, but that very day it had been raining since lunchtime, and it didn't even seem to slow down. Without losing heart, however, Jesse had managed to arrive at the cinema that evening sheltered by a large black umbrella; he walked through the front door and looked around, but of Billy no trace. "How strange... Yet I'm right on time."

His mobile phone rang; when he saw the name on the screen he immediately answered: -Billy!- -Hey, Jesse, um... Look, I'm sorry, but... Are you at the cinema already?- -Yeah, but where are you?- -I had a little accident and I'm stuck. I don't know if I can get there in time.- -Accident? Are you okay?- -Yeah, it's nothing, just... Don't ask me how, but my umbrella broke, and I'm stuck under a porch.- -Wait there, I'll come to you.- -But no, it's pouring; I'll manage by myself...- -Tell me the exact spot.- He got out and opened the umbrella again. -Somewhere halfway to my house from the cinema...- The traffic on the street was very slow, and the pavements crowded despite the hour and the weather, so that Jesse had to jostle several times for space. He continued talking to the boy on the phone: -Are you in some alley?- -Yes, but I told you I'll manage...- -Don't move; I think... I see you!- Billy was actually standing under a small porch, soaked from head to toe and clutched in his arms. -Goodness; did you fall in a puddle?- -No...- The blond man sulked: -I told you, the umbrella broke...- He pointed with a nod of his head at the object abandoned in the corner. It was overturned, old and worn, and some of the sticks had broken. -We have to find a place for you to dry off, or you'll get sick.... That’s it, I'll take you home.- -And the cinema?- -It will be for another time.- He held out his hand and smiled: -Let's go. The umbrella is big enough for both of us.- Billy hesitated for a moment, but finally took the other's hand and joined him in the shelter. -We’ll be more comfortable like this.- The actor took him by the arm and pulled him close. The boy blushed, looking away, too cold, however, to say anything. -Get ready, there will be a fight to reach your residence.- -Okay...-

Returning to the main street, the two had to face the crowds going against the current until they reached the apartment building in three times as much time as when the path was clear. -Thanks, daddy.- Letting him go, the boy ran to open the door. -Can I come upstairs to dry my clothes, too?- That statement paralysed Billy: -No!- -No?- -I will not let you into my house! Who do you take me for?- The truth was that he didn't want Jesse to see all his mess, but he threw in a plausible but weak excuse: -Besides you're less wet than I am; you can go back to your place without any problems!- -Really?- With an indecipherable smile, the actor took a few steps to the right, where a broken gutter was making the rain flow with a roar, and leaving aside his umbrella Jesse with one last stride stepped right under the stream of water. Billy stood still and watched what the other was up to until he saw him make that senseless gesture, ran to grab him by the arm and pull him out from under the spout: -What the hell are you doing?!?- -I have weighed your words. Now I am so soaked with water that I am in danger of falling ill before be able to return to my house. Am I then worthy to climb into your nest now?- -Subtle bugger...- He let him go: -Okay, okay, you win. Come.-

Beyond the doorway stood a worn grey marble staircase with an iron railing with peeling white paint here and there. The footsteps of the two echoed with a noise like that of a sponge being wrung out. -Shall we take the lift?- Jesse asked. -It's broken. I'm on the first floor anyway.- The metal cabin actually had pinned a sheet of paper on the closed doors that had a faded inscription in French; it was hard to tell how long it had been there, but Jesse was sure the word in red marker was "out of order". Rummaging through his pockets, Billy reached for the keys to the door of the third flat on the floor: -Hey, for the record... I never get visitors. There's some stuff scattered around...- -All right.-

The boy slowly opened the door and switched on the light. Jesse took a general look: the flat consisted of one large room with a plain white door that he assumed led to the bathroom. A one and a half bed rested with its headboard against the ochre-yellow wall. There was no kitchen, and the only other visible furniture was a small white wooden cupboard and a small table of the same material with a surface filled with pizza boxes, fast-food paper cups and other packaging. An antiquated dark grey cubic TV set was abandoned in one corner, and here and there many clothes lay dishevelled, both on the floor and elsewhere.

-Well, there's my den...- mumbled Billy. -I'll be honest: it looks a lot like a dressing room at the end of a show; the chaos is at the same level.- The actor took off his scarf and coat: -I'd say I find it cozy.- -Ah... Well...- Inside, the blond felt relieved; he feared the other would be disgusted. A rumble of thunder resounded in the flat, and the light flickered for a few seconds before resetting. -When it rains the light comes and goes, I'm used to it by now- Billy hastened to explain, frantically gathering up some clothes, -Go to the bathroom, I'll... I'm looking for something for you that at least doesn't tight.- -All right.- Behind the white door was a bathroom with a floor of yellowish, cracked tiles in many places, covering the surface up to half of the walls. A narrow tub surmounted by a curtainless pipe made it a little difficult to reach the washbasin, while the toilet was given much more space. There were no hanging mirrors, only one of those round ones mounted on a revolving base revolving base resting in the corner of the basin. All in all it was a clean place; one could see that Billy cared. The latter knocked on the door: -I found you some stuff, I hope it's fine.- He opened the door a little and held out his clothes: -It's a T-shirt and sweatpants that have always been loose on me...- -They'll be more than fine, thank you.- -And some towels. I have to buy a new hairdryer, it's broken.-

Picking up the bundle of clothing, Jesse thanked him again before Billy suddenly closed the door. Unrolling the T-shirt, the actor froze for a moment: apart from the colour, an embarrassing candy pink, there was a print of an adorable Japanese-style hamburger with the words in "Eat me" underneath in English. Paired with the bright red cotton trousers, then, it could be called just what his costume designer called a "fashion disaster". "Oh, well... Nobody has to see me, after all." He removed the wet clothes, spreading them out neatly on the missing curtain tube, ran a towel over himself and his hair and changed, however hesitant about the shirt, which turned out to be a little short in relation to his torso, so that his navel remained in view. He pulled his trousers up as far as he could to compensate, but the elastic did not hold. He sighed and returned to the main room: Billy had his back to him; he had changed into a red shirt and a pair of olive-green track trousers, and was intent on munching something as he drying his hair. The empty food packets on the coffee table had mysteriously disappeared. -Are you hungry, daddy? I have some chips and popcorn left, as well as water; I must decide to do some some groceries...- -I have no appetite at the moment, and we've had enough water I'd say.- The boy chuckled, then turned to look at him and was stunned. -Uhm... Any problems?- The answer was an uncontrollable laugh.

Snuggled up on the sofa at Cheyenne's house, the storm raging outside, Joe and Luke were watching an adventure movie, enjoying the chocolates the former thief had bought from Billy. -I have to admit, the brat makes really good sweets!- said Dalton at one point. -Amélie almost had candy indigestion!- replied the landlady from the kitchen. answered the hostess from the kitchen. -He seems like a nice guy after all, Joe. Did you really lock him up all night?- -Yes... Maybe it was too much.- -I've seen you do worse.- -It was a time of great stress.- -And why?- The detective sneered: -I was chasing an elusive criminal.- Luke returned the expression: -Oh, so it's my fault you went after the poor guy.- Joe pulled himself up, coming face to face with his partner: -I was kind of taking my anger out on everyone, actually.- -I remember...- They exchanged a soft kiss; at that moment Cheyenne appeared from the kitchen, holding a bowl full of vegetables, and turning to the two of them, she commented both amused and touched: -Should I go eat my salad with the neighbours, so I'll leave you two alone?-

Since the TV was not working, Billy and Jesse played cards late into the night, munching on chips, each sitting at one end of the bed. The boy was angry: he hadn't won a hand since the beginning of the game, when the actor showed he had more points with his cards, winning another round, Billy became exasperated: -That's not fair! How do you do it?!?- A rumble of thunder underlined his outburst. -I don't know. I've always been told that I'm quite talented with cards; if I hadn't chosen a career as an actor I could have tread the boards as a magician.- -By the way: earlier, some papers with strange, hand-written phrases fell from your coat. They looked like lines. I left them to dry in that corner over there because the heating pipe runs there.- -Oh, yes. Thank you, those are actually notes for the next performance.- -What are you doing?- -A play, an original work by an up-and-coming young director. It's called "Wedding Parade".- -Curious.- -It takes place during the wedding reception of the main characters. With all the family members reunited, unresolved conflicts and old quarrels resurface.- -That sounds nice! What do you do?- -The father of the bride.- -I'd love to see you act, Jesse!- -Rehearsal's open, you can...- -No, I mean now. Would you like to?- -Uh... Okay. Just a second, I haven't quite memorised the lines yet.- He went to pick up the papers, still damp with rain, and tried to put them back in order. Billy, throwing the playing cards in the air, threw himself on his stomach on the bed, resting his elbows on the mattress and his face on his hands, looking at the actor. -Can I start with the monologue that opens the play?- -Go ahead, daddy!-

Clearing his throat, holding the page in one hand, Jesse started to recite a few words, but he froze and pulled the paper closer to his face, narrowing his eyes. -Are you okay?- -The text was slurred...- -How is that possible?- Billy stapled on his arms. -I usually use a stylographic pen to write notes. I'm afraid water and ink don't go very well together.- -And now?- -It's not serious. Every word is taken directly from the script; I won't have to do anything but copy them again.- He put the paper down on the low table. -Well... What about your dear Shakespeare? You know it by heart!- -Are you sure?- -Of course!- -Good. Any particular request?- -Nah, do as you wish.-

-Uhm...- Jesse put his fingertips together at mouth level, assuming a concentrated expression. After a few seconds, he began to recite: -"Oh, she teaches the torches how to shine. She seems to hang on the face of the night like a rich gem on the ear of an Ethiopian. But it is beauty of an immense value that none shall ever have, too precious for earth. Like a white dove in a long row of crows seems the maiden among her companions".-

Billy gradually widened his eyes, more and more enraptured by the other’s voice and interpretation.

-"I want to see her after this dance; how happy I would be if my rough hand brushed hers. Did my heart ever love before? Deny it, eyes: before this night I have never seen beauty.”- When the actor returned to look at the boy, he was pleasantly surprised at his enchanted expression: -Romeo and Juliet, act one, scene five. Well?- -Wow... Mind-blowing stuff...- -I'll take that as a compliment.-

A louder thunder rattled the window panes, followed by a flash of lightning, and interrupted the magic, quick as a mouse Billy hid under the covers of his bed in fright. Even Jesse jumped up: -A nasty storm, no doubt about it...- -I hate bad weather...- replied the other from his hiding place, -It's too messy and I can't sleep.- -Are you afraid?- -No. I told you, I'm a light sleeper.- He peeped out from under the covers: -It's a real nuisance.- -How do you usually get over it?- -I don't get over it. I just don't sleep.- -But... How do you do for work?- -Lots of coffee.- -You know that's unhealthy, right?- -I can take care of myself.- The light flickered conspicuously, but he managed to resist the new rumble of thunder that forced Billy to hide again. -Are you sure you are not afraid?- -Yes!!!- From the blond's hysterical tone, however, Jesse guessed that he was lying. So he walked over and went to sit on the bed: -Do you want me to... stay next to you until sleep prevails?- -Don't talk rubbish. I haven't shared a bed with anyone since I was two.- -How do you know?- -I just know.- He curled up, pulling the covers over him. -But of course you can stay.- -I should point out, however, that this is the only bed available, and that the two of us can't fit, unless I go down there with you in a more comfortable position.- Billy stuck his head out again, frowning: -What you tryin' for?- -I mean to sleep.- -...- The boy pulled back one flap of the blankets: -As long as you don't put your hand on my bottom, okay.- -I'm a gentleman, I wouldn't dare.- Jesse pulled up his legs and stepped in, extending a hand towards the other: -For tonight I'll be the pillow for your head.-

Turning red in the face for the umpteenth time, Billy looked at him evidently agitated. After an interminable handful of seconds, he decided to lie down in his turn, his head resting on the chest of the other, and clung on with one arm so as not to fall down even though the actor was holding him close. He prayed that the other did not feel how his heart was dancing the samba in his chest. -Billy?- -Uhm? -Maybe this isn't the right time, but... Remember when you mentioned you'd had some problems in the past?- -What do you mean?- -About your family.- The blond hid his face in the fabric of his shirt: -Why do you want to know?- -Because you looked so sad talking about it. And even when it comes to affection more generally you become gloomy or evasive all of a sudden; I'd just like to understand why.- -...I only ask you one thing.- -Of course.- -Don't look at me with pity. I hate that. Everyone I've ever met who knew always did it.- -Promise.-

Inhaling deeply, the boy began: -My parents and I lived in the east of Provence. I lost my father when I was about six years old, and for another two my mother did the impossible to raise me alone. We were very close. It was from her that I learnt to cook. Then one day my stepfather came along; he was smart and kind-hearted, he always treated me as if I were his own son. When I was fourteen, I lost them both in an accident. When I was left alone, I was put in the care of social services, and for four I went from one family to another, from one school to another... When I turned eighteen and graduated, I decided to come here to Paris to set up a business and support myself. That's how I met Madame Jane. She took me on as a helper and allowed me to stay there in the shop when I had not yet found a flat. I got down to business and earned enough in a short time to buy the cart. And the rest... here it is.- Jesse stood in religious silence listening. After a while Billy raised his head and saw him with a thoughtful expression on his face; he was probably processing the information. "Here comes pity, I can feel it..." -I can't even imagine the amount of courage and willpower you had to gather to face such adversity. Those who looked at you pityingly didn't understand anything.- -What?- -They were not dealing with a fragile lamb, but with a lion ready to fight.- He smiled turned to the other: -That's admirable. Anyone in your place would have chosen the wrong path. Be proud of you.- Billy's eyes grew moist. No one had ever said anything like that to him. Jesse saw the boy's sky-blue irises becoming more and more blurry as the tears increased. Billy threw himself down on the actor's chest with deep uncontrolled sobs, and the other merely sympathetically lay a hand on his head.

The next morning Billy woke up with a strange but pleasant smell in his nose. It was like one of those expensive colognes he smelled when he drove his cart past some perfumery. He opened slowly opened his eyes: the sun was pouring in through the windows; Jesse was snoring blissfully without making a noise beside him. The blond let himself go with a spontaneous smile as he recalled their chat, and murmured: -You're not bad at all, daddy...- It was when he heard his neighbour's alarm clock ring, dull as a bell, nine irritating times, that he woke up completely and sprang out of bed, running over the poor actor: -Damn damn damn!!! It's so late!!! I should already be at the shop!!!- -What time is it?- muttered the other, pulling himself up. -Nine o'clock, at least according to old Mules!- Billy took the uniform from the wardrobe, then darted into the small bathroom. After five seconds he came back out and threw Jesse his clothes left hanging to dry: -Change, I can't wait for you!- The actor, accustomed to changes between scenes in the theatre, took very little time to change back into his shoes, and so did the boy, who, tipping his hat on his head, exclaimed: -Come and help me, I must get the cart from the garage!- Rushing down the stairs, the two reached the outside; next to the main building was a garage shared with other apartment blocks where they could park their bicycles. -Let's take it out.- Together they put the vehicle on the street, and straddling the bike Billy was about to run: -Well, thanks and bye!- -Wait!- Jesse grabbed the handlebars to stop him. -I have to run to the shop!- -I know, but please listen to me, just for a moment. Last night you collapsed after we talked, and I didn't get a chance to...- -You've already said something important, as far as I'm concerned. And I admit, I'm impressed: you don't know how tired I was of hearing all the "poor thing" and "how sad". I think you are the first to have changed his tune.- He tried to free himself with a pedal stroke, but Jesse quickly grabbed him again grabbing him by the hips: -Let me finish, at least!- It was then that the boy unexpectedly turned his head, snapping a full kiss on the mouth of the other, who let him go in surprise; pushing himself up on tiptoe while keeping his balance on the bike he then exclaimed: -Let's talk about it some other time, daddy, I'm super late! Miss Jane will choke me if I don't bring her biscuits!- Jesse stood there and watched him run away. Instinctively he brought his fingertips to his lips and murmured: -Yes... Next time...- Billy, pedalling along at a good pace, watching out for the crossroads, couldn't wipe a huge grin from his face.

#lucky luke #joyau #joe dalton #modern au #fanfiction #spin off #candyfloss #billy the kid #jesse james #morris

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valparzjournal · 2 years ago

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Hey friends ~.~

It's been a while. Work has been busy and fucking stressful. We are prepping the kids for the upcoming state assessments. We have less than a month and we have to meet so many kids for tutoring. We need to start working on plans to attend Saturdays. It's been a thing. We are planning our glow theme week to make things really fun for the kids.

I actually had a a really normal day yesterday. I don't want to say normal but it was one of the days that I didn't worry about having a panic attack, not a lot of anxiety, not having intrusive thoughts or fears. I was present and had so much fun with my coworkers. We had a professional development day and it was good. We were productive and had a fun team building project. I needed that type of connection with them because when we get together in lunch, we just talk about work work work. Which is not our fault but it is what it is. Lunch was fun too! My coworker and I were jamming out to One Direction and omg we were having so much fun. it was just a wonderful day.

My anxiety did kick in later in the afternoon though. To be honest, despite the crazy outside of mind thoughts Im having, I know that I'm getting better. I think I have known but I had to take off the training wheels off my bike to know what I'm capable of. For example, I thought my family dog, Maxine, was helping me in some way with my mental health but she was low key stressing me out and not letting me sleep which affected my anxiety. I say family dog because she lives with my mom and I bring her in when my husband leaves for work so I don't feel so alone. She helped me get outside to take her for a walk so that did help with my lab numbers lol. But I really want to start walking by myself after work. My husband left this past Wednesday for a few days and he said not to bring back Maxine because were were planning to have his mom here for spring break but she changed her mind last minute. I was nervous about not having Maxine but I know that this is happening for a reason. I do miss her a lot though.

I'm gonna talk about three more growths and then make my lunch lol. I haven't had a session in two weeks which is fine because my therapist was sick and we had conflicting schedules. That made me nervous too but then again I've been wanting to start bi weekly sessions. I know I can text her if I need her. She is great about that. <3

In the beginning of my recovery in in September, I bought play-doh to help me with my anxiety but I was so hyper focused about smells and how i thought it will give me panic attacks, I ended up giving the play-doh to my students bc it had a smell. *face palm* but it's valid lol. So yesterday during the team building project with my coworkers, we had to build a tower with uncooked spaghetti and play-doh. I was excited. I was like "oh my god, let me smell it. *smells it with delight* It's so nostalgic." Then 20 minutes within the project, it clicked that "oh shit, i used to be scared to be near play-doh." I feel awesome about it.

My next thing is that I drove with someone in the passenger seat. For some reason, i get more anxious when I have someone one in the passenger seat. One time in October, I picked up my coworker because her car was in the shop. I said yes with confidence but I was anxious as hell. I just told her that I won't be able to talk or anything lol. Well yesterday, a colleague was looking for her truck in the parking lot (it's a long story) and she asked if I could give her a ride around the area to find it. I said yes with no problem and we drove around and then it clicked that I had someone in the passenger seat and we were having a conversation and I'm like omg I have had growth haha.

I'm proud of myself. Please keep going, it's gets better with good change. <3

#anxiety recovery #mental health blog #mental health journey #dayinthelife

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eddiemunsonswhxre · 3 years ago

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Hi could you do an angsty one shot where Eddie cheats on the reader? Or when the reader thinks he’s cheated and they argue? Whatever you feel like, thanks 😊

think this is my fav angst i've written so far, thanks for the request

infidelity / eddie munson

part two

cw: cheating/thoughts of cheating, cursing, overall just a lot of angst and tears

sometimes it's hard to know what you want.

eddie never meant to make meeting with chrissy cunningham a regular thing. but she was a really sweet girl who was struggling and eddie always had to be a savior. so when she kept asking to meet him during lunch out in the woods, he kept going. and eventually, he began asking her to meet him and before he knew it they were hanging out there most days of the week and hiding it from everyone. even you.

at first you didn’t notice and frankly didn’t care. you weren’t obsessive over eddie because you were confident in his love for you. at least you thought you were. he kept disappearing though and he wouldn’t give you an answer. if he did he lied, which was stupid because he was so easy for you to read. it just didn’t make sense. so, you decided to skip fifth period and see just where he kept disappearing to during his lunch hour. lucas had admitted to you that he wasn’t at lunch much anymore, but was secretive of where he was going. the boys had all assumed he was meeting you.

so there you were, stood behind the bleachers as you watched eddie stand near the entrance of the woods while looking around for someone expectantly. what you didn’t expect was to see chrissy cunningham running up to meet him. you didn’t freak out, you knew eddie was the only one in school who sold drugs and who were you to judge if people needed them or not? but then he held open his arms, engulfing the giggling blonde in a tight hug. you felt a sharp pain in your heart as you watched him guide her into the woods, arm slung across her shoulder as she wrapped one around his back.

you debated running after them and confronting them, but you were smarter than that. running up at them a screaming and crying mess would get you nowhere. you needed evidence. so, you acted as though nothing was wrong when eddie came up to you after school and gave you a kiss as he did everyday. but you couldn’t help but wonder if those lips had been against someone else’s.

“so, uh, i think we need a date night. what do you say the movies? friday night? they’re replaying nightmare on elm street since the new one’s coming out in a month or so, i know you love that movie,” you ask with a smile. eddie’s smile falters and he gulps nervously.

he scratches the back of his neck, hoping he doesn’t seem like he’s lying. “i’d love to, baby, but i’m supposed to hang out with gareth and the guys. saturday though?” he asks with a fake smile. you didn’t want him to know you had caught on.

you pulled away from him and nodded. “yeah, saturday, i’ll call you about times?” you say. he nods and smiles. “alright, i’m gonna head home,” you say, holding the strap of your bag tightly.

“you don’t want to come to hellfire?” he asked confused. you almost always came to watch.

you shook your head no. “nah, i’m not feeling too good,” you shrugged.

eddie frowned. “oh, well, go rest and get better, okay? maybe i’ll stop by later,” he says stepping back up to you. “i love you, babe,” he says and it hurt so much more than it ever has. you couldn’t shake what you'd seen today, and how did you know he even meant it anymore? he pressed a kiss to your forehead and you nodded, turning and heading to your car as tears stung your eyes.

it was currently wednesday, so you planned on interrogating one of eddie’s minions that wouldn’t crack if eddie were to question him. so that’s how you ended up at hard-headed mike wheeler’s house at 9 o’clock on a wednesday night. to say he was shocked to see you sitting on his bed in his dirty bedroom would be an understatement. “y/n?” he asks, looking back at nancy who just shrugged and went to her own room.

“hey, mike,” you said hoarsely, not bothering to try and hide you’ve been crying.

mike looks at you in confusion before slowly closing his door and dropping his bag. “not trying to be rude, but why are you here? in my bed… and crying?” he asks cautiously approaching you.

“just know if you tell anyone what we talk about in here i will chop your tiny dick off,” you say aggressively pointing at him.

“my dick isn’t- nevermind. yeah, i won’t tell anyone. to be honest, y/n you’re kind of scary,” he says, cautiously sitting on his own bed across from you. “now, can you please tell me what’s going on?” he asks.

you sigh, wiping a tear from your eye. “i think eddie’s cheating on me,” you spoke quietly.

mike’s jaw dropped. “no way,” he says causing you to give him a look. “i-i mean, he’s like obsessed with you, he talks about you like all the time. even refers to you as his princess, it’s kind of weird honestly…” mike continues.

“but has it been the same recently? have you noticed a change in, i don’t know, the past month i think?” you ask, chewing on your nails.

mike thought back and he hated to say it, but he did. “y/n… do you really think he has the ability to cheat on you?” he asks, struggling to believe it.

“so you have noticed something,” you observe, feeling as though you may throw up.

mike bit his lip and looked away. “he just, doesn’t talk as much about you. i just thought maybe since you’ve been together so long that he didn’t feel like he needed to? in the beginning he was worried about us hitting on you, on his bullshit about how we couldn’t look at you in the wrong way and so on but obviously we caught on quickly. he also misses lunch like a lot, we figured he was with you but lucas said that wasn’t it. i know he sells, but he doesn’t get that much business,” mike explains. a couple tears fall from your eyes and mike feels awkward but just looks down at his hands.

“he’s been going to the woods behind the football field, with chrissy cunningham. i saw them today,” you said brokenly.

mike furrows his eyebrows. “chrissy cunningham? you’re sure, like, jason’s girlfriend?” he asks and you nod. “holy shit…” he mutters.

“i asked him to hangout friday, they’re playing nightmare on elm and it’s like his favorite movie. but he said he’s hanging out with gareth. can you find out if that’s true? maybe ask what everyone’s doing and get back to me?” you ask. mike chewed on his lip as he thought. he didn’t want to betray eddie, but if he was cheating…

if eddie was like a male parental figure for the guys, you were definitely like a mother. you always gave the boys rides home if they needed it, you’d bought them pizza, and even tried helping them get girls. “yeah, i’ll ask tomorrow at lunch. it’s hot dog day, for some reason he thinks they’re amazing,” mike comments causing you to laugh. it was true, eddie for some reason loved those nasty ass hot dogs.

so the next day at lunch, mike did just that. he was normally shit at being subtle, but luckily dustin first brought up the topic of weekend plans. almost everyone had answered except eddie. “so, eddie. what about you? doing anything tomorrow or the weekend?” he asked nonchalantly. eddie looked up, mike almost wanting to laugh at the fact his mouth was actually full of hot dog.

after swallowing, he wipes his mouth and looks at him. “yeah, i’m going to see nightmare on elm street tomorrow night. you know they’re showing that shit?” he smiles, taking another bite. a pit forms in mike’s stomach. he wasn’t hanging out with gareth.

“oh, cool. cool. you going with y/n, you both love that shit?” mike pushes and eddie gives him a nervous look. he looks at mike, his eyes flashing somewhere else in the cafeteria before he pulls himself back together.

he nods, looking around the table. “uh, yeah. y/n and me are going,” eddie confirms. mike purses his lip, looking down to his tray as he thinks. telling you hurt, because he saw your eyes water before thanking him and leaving. so you made a plan, you were going to go to the movie and see if eddie was there. if he was with chrissy, you’d confront him at his house after.

so that’s where you stood five minutes before the movie started. there were only doing one showing tonight, and knowing eddie he would’ve arrived here thirty minutes early. he always made you do that. you paid for a ticket and stood outside the door to the theater, trying to psych yourself up to go in there and see something that might break you inside.

you took a final deep breath and walked into the theater. you peaked around the corner of the wall separating the entrance from the seats and scanned up the crowd. you avoided looking at your seats first, scared of what you might find. you and eddie always sat in the same place, and when your eyes finally fell on it, you wanted to throw up.

in his usual seat sat your boyfriend, and in yours was chrissy cunningham. he had his arm on the back of the chair, like he always did for you and they were laughing, eating popcorn from a bucket on chrissy’s lap. you turned around quickly, running out of the theater and back to your car. the second your door closed you broke down. all you felt was pain.

eddie was your everything. in a world where you had no one, you thought you would always have eddie. you spent months in your relationship finally getting comfortable with the fact that he actually wanted you after no one had. and now? pretty cheerleader, queen of hawkins high, chrissy cunningham had his attention. you cried in your car for about an hour, and when you could finally see straight you drove to his trailer and sat on the steps, waiting for him to come home. you just prayed chrissy wasn’t with him. that would break you more than anything.

you sat impatiently, bouncing your leg until you heard the tell-tale sign of metallica coming from his van. soon, his headlights were blinding you until his engine cut. “baby?” he asked as his door opened, it quickly slamming shut as he walked quickly up to you. “baby, what are you doing here, it's getting cold?” he asks, standing in front of you.

“how was your movie?” you asked in an empty voice and eddie felt his blood run cold.

he looked around nervously before opening his mouth. “what do you mean? i-i was with gareth-”

“i saw you, eddie!” you yelled, looking up at him. “i was there! i knew you were acting weird and i find you with chrissy fucking cunningham?” you scoff, lowering your voice now that you had his attention.

eddie was in shock. “i-i can explain,” he said and looked at you like he was genuinely in pain.

you raised your eyebrows, “then explain.”

eddie opened his mouth, searching for words but he didn’t have any. he didn’t know how to explain what he’d been doing or what has been going through his head. “i love you,” he whispered desperately.

you scoffed in disbelief and stood up. “no, you don’t,” you sneer at him.

eddie mouth goes dry. “i do, y/n, i love you,” he tries reassuring. you shake your head, lip quivering as you feel tears well up in your eyes once more.

“then why are you cheating on me?” you ask with a broken voice.

eddie grabs you by the arms to get you to look at him. “baby, i’m not cheating on you. me and chrissy, we- we’re just friends,” he says desperately. you shake your head, bringing your hands up to your face.

“no,” you mumble. and eddie opens his mouth to respond. “you meet her three times a week. you hide in the fucking woods with her. you hug her like she’s- like you hug me. you lied to me, you took her to your favorite movie, and-and you put her in my seat!” you tell him, voice rising as you go as you try ripping away from his grip.

eddie shakes his head, eyes filling with tears. “no- babe, it’s not like that,” he cries, trying to grab you again.

you cry as you shove him away. “then what’s it like? because you know i wouldn’t have cared if you and chrissy were just friends. but you lied and kept it all from me. you chose her over me, you’re treating her exactly how you treated me before you asked me out. you took her to see nightmare on elm street,” you say, emphasizing the title while staring deep into his eyes.

“i thought she would like it, it’s nothing else!” he says.

you turn from him as you take a deep breath. “was that your first time hanging out with her, outside of school?” you ask.

“yes, baby, i just thought she’d-” he starts.

“you took her on the same first date you took me on. on that date, we had our first kiss. on that date, you asked me out. and now? it’s not even ours anymore,” you say, eddie’s heart dropping with every sentence. he totally forgot that was 'your movie.'

he shook his head and reached for your hands once again. “y/n, it’s still ours, it will always be ours,” he said, tears visibly falling.

you let out a sob that broke eddie’s heart. “you kiss her?” you ask.

“no, no, baby, i didn't kiss her,” he says immediately and you know he’s honest. that takes the tiniest bit of hurt away from you.

you take a deep breath before asking the next question. “but you like her?” you whisper. eddie shakes his head no but you notice the unsureness behind his eyes. “don’t lie,” you continue.

eddie runs a hand over his mouth and spins around, running his hands through his hair. “i don’t know,” he finally admits, scaring himself. you choke back a sob, feeling like everything in your life is a lie. “but, i do know that i love you,” eddie says, walking up to you.

you shake your head once more, feeling your whole body become heavy with helplessness. you felt like you were gonna throw up. “don’t,” you say, feeling your mouth begin to salivate as you hold out your hand. “don’t say you love me if i’m not the only one,” you say and then gag.

“but it’s true, i’m in love with you, y/n, please believe me,” eddie begs trying to get closer to you. your hands fall to your knees as you heave and then suddenly you’re throwing up whatever you had eaten earlier. “woah, baby,” eddie said in a worried tone, immediately reaching forward to hold your hair and rub your back as you continued throwing up. once you are able to stop and stand, you push him off of you.

you wipe your mouth, more tears filling your eyes. “don’t call me that,” you say, stepping back away from him.

“y/n, please. everything can be fine. look i-i’ll stop talking to chrissy. that’s no problem, i’ll do anything,” he begs.

you close your eyes, your head was starting to hurt from all of this. “eddie, i can’t be with you when you have feelings for someone else,” you say.

eddie lets out a huff, trying to hold back a sob. “i don’t have feelings for her, i-i don’t think i do. i know that you’re who i want, i never questioned that,” he explains.

“you still lied to me,” you say.

the sob leaves his lips. “i know and i’m sorry. i’m so sorry. but please, y/n, you are the only one i want. chrissy is nothing compared to you,” he says.

“i need to go home. i need to think. i need a break,” you say seriously, taking a deep breath.

eddie starts to shake, his lip trembling. “what? a break? like… from us?” eddie croaks.

you nod and brush past him, walking to your car. “we’re done, eddie. go figure your shit out with chrissy,” you say, feeling completely numb as you do.

eddie runs after you, grabbing your arm and turning you to face him. “baby, please don’t do this. i do not want chrissy, you are it for me,” he emphasizes his words, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. tears streaming down both your faces.

“if that’s true then a break won’t change that. i’m not changing my mind,” you say and eddie’s head falls forward as a sob rocks through his whole body.

he sniffles and hiccups before meeting your eyes again. “so this is it?” he asks in the most heartbroken voice you’d ever heard.

you look away from him, not wanting to cry more. “goodbye, eddie,” you whisper, waiting for him to take his hands from you.

eddie cries, leaning his head down to rest against yours. “i’m sorry i did this to us,” he whimpers, causing you to screw your eyes shut in pain.

“eddie…” you trail, watching him look at you through his tear-filled brown eyes. “let me go,” you say quietly, watching him shut his eyes.

he shakes his head no, stroking your face with his thumb. “i can’t. i love you, i want to marry you, y/n. i can’t just let you go,” he sobs. everything he was saying was making you want to stay, but you knew it would be a mistake if you did.

“eddie, you have to. i need space, please,” you beg. eddie gave you a final, heart broken look before backing away slowly. “goodnight, eddie,” you say quietly and open your car door.

“i love you,” he desperately tries once more as your car door closes. you pull out of his driveway and head home, tears clouding your vision as you go. eddie pulls at his hair and falls to his knees, sobbing at the fact that he just lost you. eddie was feeling more pain than he’d ever felt in his life, and he didn’t even know what to do with himself at this point.

#stranger things eddie #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson #stranger things 4 #eddie munson fanfic #munson #eddie x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie #stranger things #eddie munson angst #angst

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thruheavenandhighwater · 2 years ago

Text

Double Feature

Pairing: Steve Harrington/ Reader

Requested By: NA

Word Count: 2,745

Summary: A drive in theater close to town is playing a special Halloween double feature of the Ghostbusters movies.

Steve Harrington Masterlist

Stranger Things Masterlist

~~~~~

You'd been looking forward to this weekend all month. Ever since the drive-in theater outside of town put up the sign at the end of September. You hadn't shut up about it. Ghostbusters had quickly become a favorite movie of yours when it came out and you were sure you'd love the sequel just as much, though you hadn't gotten the chance to see it when it was in theaters. So when you found out that the small theater was running a double feature for Halloween weekend, you knew you had to go.

It had taken a bit of asking to convince Steve to go with you. You knew he'd take you. He never really says no to you, after all. But he also liked to tease you just a bit. So you weren't surprised when he immediately told you that he couldn't go because he had to work.

"I always work Saturdays," he'd told you when you asked.

"Robin can cover for you."

"What if she has plans?"

"You have plans!" You told him, just a hint of whining in your voice. He crossed his arms over his chest, a crooked smile on his lips.

"We'll see, baby," he sighed.

Two weeks later he bought your tickets. He didn't tell you, of course. Instead slapping them down on top of the counter during his next shift with Robin. She agreed to cover for him happily.

He continued to tease and evade the question until the week of the double feature. You hadn't brought it up, which was shocking. It was Wednesday, a night that had become something of a weekly date night for you and Steve. It was a night that both of you were off work so you were free for the evening.

It had been a fun, light evening. You'd gone to Steve's apartment for dinner and movies. You enjoyed nights like this. You helped Steve cook dinner while the radio played in the living room. A hand towel thrown over his left shoulder as you helped chop vegetables. Smiles and soft kisses exchanged under the almost burnt out light in his kitchen.

When you sat down to eat, Steve brought it up. "So I'll pick you up at 6?" He asked before biting a piece of chicken from his fork.

"What?"

"Well it starts at 7, and we should get there a bit early to get good spots and snacks," he answered, piercing his food with his fork once again. You could only look at him in response. Your brows furrowed as your own fork hung limply between your fingers. He smiled and took another bite. "Hey, if you don't want to go see Ghostbusters that's fine. I'll switch my shift back and give the tickets to Robin. She can take whichever poor girl she's in love with this month."

Your smile grew as he poked at his dinner. His eyes trained on his plate, though his grin gave him away. "Steven James, are you saying that you're taking me to Ghostbusters?" You asked, teasing tone in your voice. Steve shrugged, pushing a slice of grilled green pepper across his plate. "After like a month of acting like you wouldn't take me?"

Steve shot you a toothy, crooked grin, showing his amusement. "Well, yeah," he giggled. "Why wouldn't I take my baby to the movies?"

Now it was your turn to shrug as you stared at your own plate in front of you. "Just assumed you didn't love me anymore," and told him.

"Oh," he scoffed before taking another bite. "Well I don't, obviously. I just really like Ghostbusters."

"Shut up!" You cried, pushing at his shoulder with your empty hand. "Now you gotta buy me extra snacks to heal my wounded heart."

Steve laughed, his smile glowing across his face. "That's why we're getting there early, baby."

~~~

The wait for Saturday night was both painfully slow and exhilaratingly quick. You had a little extra pep in your step. Your customer service voice was slightly more genuine as you made pleasant conversation with your regulars at work. Almost everyone you talked to heard all about the big night you had planned with Steve. Your shift flew by surprisingly fast. It helped that you were consistently busy, as Saturday mornings tended to be.

Once you were home you realized you had a few hours to kill before Steve would pick you up. Given that you had woken up early for work, you decided it would be a good idea to get some sleep. So you tucked into your bed, pulling your covers tight to your chest. It wasn't easy to fall asleep with so much excitement for the evening. You couldn't stop smiling to yourself as you thought about spending the evening with your boyfriend, watching one of your favorite movies under the stars.

Eventually you were able to fall asleep even with the brightness of the early afternoon sun streaming through your windows. You woke up to your mattress jostling beneath you. When your tired eyes opened fully and you were able to process your surroundings you felt a solid weight pressed to your back and a familiar arm snaked around your waist, fingertips teasing below the hem of your shirt.

"Hi, baby," Steve whispered softly into your shoulder, his lips pressing gentle kisses into the fabric of your t-shirt.

You groaned quietly as you stretched your legs beneath the blanket. You rolled over, turning to face Steve. His hair hung into his face, covering one eye just slightly. He wore a fond smile on his lips as his eyes scanned over your half sleeping features.

You moved your hands to his cheek, his skin warm and soft under your palm. "Hey, handsome," you sighed, your voice hoarse and sleepy. "Finally got to use that key I gave ya, huh?"

"Felt like a burglar sneaking in while you're sleepin'" he laughed.

"Come to steal my heart?" You asked quietly.

"Shut up," he smiled, leaning forward. His lips were on yours for a much too short moment before he was pulling back. Your hand was still resting on his warm skin when he spoke again. "You ready to go?"

You nodded and threw your blanket off of your body. You stretched your arms in front of you after swinging your legs over the edge of the mattress. Steve was still smiling from his spot in your bed as he watched you stand and begin to dress for the evening. A pair of blue jeans, Steve's old Hawkins Tigers t-shirt, and your favorite blue sweater. It was comfortable and warm and a perfect outfit for the night.

Steve led you out of your apartment building into the parking lot. You scanned the lot for his dark red BMW. When he saw the confused knit of your brows as you looked across the lot he grabbed your hand with a smile. He looked almost proud when he stopped on the passenger side of a small green pick up truck, arm lifting toward it at if he were presenting you with a prize.

"What's this?" You asked him as he stepped forward to open the door.

He held your hand as you took your seat, still confused as you got somewhat comfortable in the seat. "Our ride for the evening," he answered as if it were obvious. He quickly leaned into the open door and kissed you, a gentle peck to your lips before he was pulling away and closing the door. He rounded the back of the truck and made his way to the driver's door.

"Something wrong with your car?"

"The Beemer doesn't have a truck bed," he giggled, turning the key in the ignition and bringing the engine to life. You looked over your shoulder out the back window behind you. The truck bed was full of cardboard boxes of various sizes. "We'll move those," Steve answered the question you hadn't even had time to ask.

You wondered to yourself where you'd put them. But you didn't ask. Steve seemed excited about his little plan, and you didn't want to rain on his parade. So you sat silently in the passenger seat of a truck that seemed somehow familiar before and allowed Steve to do whatever he had in mind.

When he parked in front of Chang's restaurant, you suddenly realized how hungry you were. "Be right back," he told you, kicking his door open as he leaned over to kiss your cheek. You watched him walk inside, and up to the counter. He smiled as he spoke to Tyler, a boy you had gone to school with whose family owned the restaurant. He paid for your food and stuffed some money into a tip jar on the counter before grabbing the two brown paper bags that Tyler had set on the counter. He handed the bags to you through your open window before walking around the front of the vehicle to his own door. "Next stop, Ghostbusters."

Twenty minutes later you were pulling into the drive in theater. Steve rolled down his window as the truck inched towards the ticket booth. An older woman greeted you both with a smile. He handed her your tickets and you felt a bubble of excitement grow in your chest as she ripped off the ends and handed the tickets back to him.

Steve handed the torn tickets to you with a knowing smile. You kept a small box of relationship mementos in your bedroom. A map from the zoo the day Steve had taken you last summer. Polaroids from various outings. A dried flower from your first date. And now, two torn ticket stubs from a date to see Ghostbusters.

Steve drove towards the back of the field that had been set up for movie goers. "People with kids and small cars will be up front," he explained as he expertly backed the truck into a space. "Less noise back here."

Once the car was parked he hopped out of the driver's seat and dropped the tailgate of the truck, instructing you to follow. He began to pull the boxes from the bed, stacking them beside him. He jumped up into the bed to grab the last few boxes and handed them to you.

"Okay, so I'll need the big ones first," he told you, hands on his hips. You didn't move for a moment. Big ones? He noticed and offered a bright smile as he stepped towards the tailgate and jumped down to the ground next to you. He opened the biggest of the boxes, revealing the blue comforter from his bed. He took the blanket from the box and unfolded it. He handed one side to you to unfold it to its full size. He motioned for you to walk around your side of the truck, helping him to lay the blanket flat across the truck bed. The next few boxes were full of throw blankets, pillows, and a small battery powered radio you recognized as belonging to Dustin Henderson.

Steve pulled his wallet from his back pocket as soon as all the boxes were opened. He handed you some cash, wrapping his fingers around your hand and pulling you to him when you tried to take it. "Go get some snacks, babe. I'll finish this." He instructed quietly, his lips brushing your cheek before he kissed you and sent you on your way to the concession stand.

When you returned with snacks in hand you could have cried. Steve was absolutely beaming as he took the popcorn and drinks from you, setting them on the tailgate beside him. He'd really gone all out. There had to be half a dozen pillows laid against the end of the truck bed opposite the tailgate. Cozy looking blankets lined the bottom of the bed, creating something of a nest that would protect your bodies from the hard metal of the truck.

Steve hopped up into the truck, extending his hand to you. You took it, allowing him to pull you up to join him. Once you were in the truck Steve kicked his shoes off and you did the same. He grabbed the popcorn and drinks, setting them near the pillows he'd laid out for you before laying down and getting comfortable amongst the sea of blankets. He patted the spot beside him, silently asking you to join him. You did so happily.

Steve turned to slide open the middle window on the back windshield of the truck. He reached into the cab and grabbed the bags of Chinese food, handing one to you. "Dinner is served," he smiled as you began to dig in.

The sun was beginning to set as you ate with Steve. You were starting to feel almost giddy as you thought that the movie would be starting soon. Just as you were about to mention to Steve once again how excited you were, a familiar rusty van was coming up beside you.

Eddie backed into the spot right next to you on Steve's side. The back doors flung open and half a dozen high schoolers spilled out and ran to the building that held the concession stand. Eddie walked around the front of the van, stopping beside the truck. He laid his forearms out of the side of the truck bed, resting his chin atop the sleeve of his leather jacket with a grin.

"Hey," he greeted you with a mischievous tone in his voice. "Fancy runnin' into you here."

"You mean the exact place I told your uncle I was gonna be when I asked to borrow his truck?"

"Oh," Eddie scoffed, lifting his chin from his arms and raising a hand to gesture around himself. "You meant this drive in? Tonight?" His smile grew as he feigned ignorance.

"Better keep all those little shits in your van, Eddie," Steve warned.

"But Henderson wants to sit with you," Eddie answered, a fake pout on his lips. "If you wanna disappoint our sweet little Henderson…"

"I do," Steve interrupted Eddie, stopping him abruptly.

Eddie laughed, closing his eyes as he grinned. "Enjoy the show, lovebirds." He told you, smacking his palm on the side of the truck bed as he turned towards his own vehicle. As you heard the door creak open and slam closed you saw all of the kids coming back towards you, snacks in hand. Dustin eyed the two of you as the rest of the group crawled into the back of Eddie's van.

"Absolutely not," Steve said sternly.

"But-"

"No," Steve repeated, putting his hand up.

"You guys have way more room up there," Dustin whined.

"Yeah and we're gonna be making out the whole time." You playfully smacked Steve's chest as Dustin groaned before joining the others in the van.

"Why are you so mean?" You asked him as you wrapped your arms around his waist. The two of you shuffled a bit, getting comfortable amongst the blankets that surrounded you. Steve sighed, rolling his eyes before loudly calling out for Dustin.

The younger boy clambered out of the back of the van excitedly. "You can sit up there," Steve told him, pointing with his hand that wasn't around your shoulders to the tailgate.

"Thought you guys were gonna make out all night."

"We're old now, Henderson," Steve laughed. "We don't have to come to the drive-in to make out. We do that in our own beds."

Dustin grinned a toothy smile as he reached into the van to grab his things. He climbed into the bed of the truck and sat back against the side. You pulled a pillow from behind Steve's back and tossed it to him. He smiled and thanked you as he tucked it behind himself, a cushion against the cold metal.

As you snuggled into his chest you couldn't help but think that Steve Harrington was some kind of perfect. He'd gone out of his way to switch his schedule at work. He secretly bought tickets to an event he knew you wanted to go to. He secured a borrowed truck so that you could experience it under the stars, complete with a mountain of blankets and pillows to keep you comfortable. And he ordered your favorite food from your favorite restaurant. You took a moment to appreciate how lucky you were to be loved by Steve Harrington as the previews began to play on the big screen ahead.

~~~~~

Feedback is always appreciated! Requests are open! Have a great weekend! 🥰 If you want to be added to my Stranger Things taglist, please let me know! I also have individual tag lists for Steve, Eddie, Robin, Nancy, and Steddie.

Tag List: @manyfandomsfanvergent @paradoxicalconundrum @strvngerrose @redwineanddnicotine

Steve Tag List: @johnricharddeacy

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writingallthetimee · 2 years ago

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okay so here's my timeline :) i got a little tired near the end so let's pretend it's finished (i promise i have a life)

Ep 1

Sunday 18th September - she arrives at Nevermore - this would only make it mid-September, which I’d say makes sense because even though Weems says it’s “mid-term” (9:05), she could just mean they don’t usually accept students once a term has already started

Monday 19th Sep - she goes to therapy, meets Tyler, plays the cello- I’m assuming this is the next day bc that makes the most sense

Saturday 24th Sep - fair we know this is the weekend because Wednesday says there's the fair this weekend, plus it has to be Saturday because there's a whole day of no lessons right after in EP2

Ep 2

Still Saturday 24th Sep - searching for the body after fair

Sunday 25th Sep - rowan shows up again

Monday 26th Sep - Poe cup - Bianca says “I can’t wait to wait to crush Ophelia Hall tomorrow” in Xavier’s room at 29:34

Ep 3

Still Monday 26th Sep - nightshades kidnap

Tuesday 27th Sep - Outreach day

Ep 4

Thursday 29th Sep - Wed goes to the morgue - she says it’s Thursday at 1:24

Friday 30th Sep - Wednesday shows enid her board, class, people plan dates

Saturday 1st October - rave’n - Thornhill says “I know you’re all excited about Saturday at 6:06

Ep 5

Next Saturday 8th Oct - parent-teacher, grave digging - Bianca says “I thought you were gonna apologise for acting like a complete jerk last week”

Sunday 9th Oct - Gomez innocent

Ep 6

Next Saturday night 15th Oct - Wednesday’s party

Sunday 16th Oct - Wednesday gets snood (enid says, ‘they asked me to give it to you on parents' evening’, Lucas was grounded since parents' evening) then they break into Gates Mansion

I’m going to assume this is the 16th of October, I also like the idea of her birthday being in the month of Halloween

So October 13th 2006 falls on a Friday, making it line up that she’s born on Friday the 13th (8:20 EP1). We know the show takes place in 2022 because the flashback to her parents’ rave’n banner shows the date 1990 and Wednesday says “32 years ago”.

So I’m saying that her birthday was on Thursday the 13th of October 2022, but her friends didn’t celebrate until the weekend when they had the time to throw the party etc.

Ep 7

Saturday 22nd Oct - Mayor’s funeral, Fester arrives, date with Tyler - fully assuming this since there isn’t any evidence of when the funeral took place but usually, funerals take place a week after deaths so this probably makes the most sense

Sunday 23rd Oct - Kinbott dies, Wednesday finds out about the real Hyde

Ep 8

Still Sunday 23rd Oct - Torturing Tyler, “To lose”

#might edit this later #to finish ep 8 #wednesday #wednesday addams #wyler #wenclair #tyler galpin #frankiespeaks #enid sinclair #s1

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comfortwriting · 4 years ago

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Best Friends Brother Part 3 - G.W

Masterlist, Requesting Rules, Writing Prompt Masterlist

This is part 3 of ‘Best Friends Brother’ please read part 1 and part 2, want to be tagged? let me know!

George Weasley x Fem Reader slow burn

Warnings: mention of food and eating, swearing,

The moment your lips touched, fireworks went off around you, George wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him - all of your worries withering away, all you could feel was happiness and pure bliss.

George pulled away from the kiss and slowly opened his eyes, you were in shocked and couldn’t believe who’s lips had collided with yours moments before.

Opening your eyes slowly, you stared into George’s brown ones, his gentle hands holding yours and squeezing them softly.

“T-Thank you for tonight” you blushed, letting go of one of his hands, tucking a stray hair behind your ear nervously “It’s been wonderful.”

George smiled softly and nodded “it has” he paused for a moment, his thumb tracing circles into your palm “same time next week?” he asked, sounding quite nervous.

You squeezed his hand back in excitement and nodded “I would love to” you beamed.

Your three month anniversary was hanging around the corner, you had planned a whole day out on Saturday once George finished Quidditch practice, your heart fluttering in excitement and skipping beats, causing you to squirm in your seat - giggling out and squealing, confusing those around you, especially Ron who thought you were going barmy.

Despite seeing each other every day, the two of you were keeping things secret, you weren't ready for anyone to know - George knew his little brother all too well and so did you, Ron would be far from happy.

“George didn’t say anything to you after he, you know?” Ron asked, acting quite shifty in his chair.

“No he didn’t” you replied, “he’s not interested in me Ron, he just hates creeps.”

“Where were you last night?” Ron asked over breakfast, staring at you questioningly.

Shit! Think of something! I totally wasn’t kissing your brother, no, not at all.

“I went for a walk” you lied “I just had so much energy and needed to get out, I found an injured little owlet and was up all night nursing it, he’s helping me get over Penny.”

Ron believed you and nodded slowly “are you sure you’re ready for another owl?” he asked, trying to sound as caring as he could.

You sighed “I think it’s about time, yeah” you replied “It’s been almost over a year so I figured why not.”

So instead, you wrote to each other a few times a week, you had to admit, you quite liked the schedule; Wednesdays and Sundays nights were for the love letters, Saturdays were for dates unless he couldn’t skip Quidditch and the rest of the week you barely spoke and only engaged in eye contact if you were in the company of others - if not, you would hold hands and kiss in empty broom closets or even in the astronomy tower, but it was rare as Fred was never far behind from his twin.

Dearest Y/N,

Although we see each other every day and go on dates most weekends (when Ron isn’t on your back, or when I’m in detention like now) writing to you feels just as good as the real thing - but still bloody ridiculous.

Fred keeps asking what I’ve spent my Galleons on, told him it was for an experiment to do with our products we’re testing - he’s suspicious but believes me after I made myself sick to get out of Quidditch, oh the things I do for you, Y/N.

I think Gideon is the perfect name for the Owlet, mum will be so heart warmed and honoured when she finds out - but don’t bring the galleons into it of course, not until the joke shop is up and running with great success!

Seeing you last night up in the Astronomy tower was nothing short of the highlight of my day, I wish we could do it more often, but not to worry - one day we won’t need to meet up in private at all.

Anyway, I better get back to some homework before the greaseball comes over and reads this - detention with him always drags.

The next one will be longer, I promise, love.

Lots of love,

Georgie.

Dear George,

You should be focusing, get your head down and do your homework if you can bear it, I swear George, the day I receive a letter from you that wasn’t written in detention will be the day I wink at Snape - it’s silly I’m even asking you knowing that it’s never going to happen.

Your letters always cheer me up, Georgie, I can hear your voice as I read, feels like you’re sitting next to me and it’s good enough for me at the time being, I’m so thankful that we aren’t hundreds of miles away from each other.

Hey! You can’t be skipping Quidditch for me, you plonker! Gryffindor team need you and you’re a bloody good Beater - unbeatable in fact but stop skipping! we can make up for a lost date another time, I’ll try not to miss you too much I swear.

Thank you for gifting me Gideon, he is the sweetest little owlet and I cannot wait to watch him grow and to teach him like I did Penny - if his mother will let me that is. I won’t say a word to anyone, no one will know that you did such a thing although I want nothing more than to tell everyone, your kind-heartedness should never go unnoticed.

The joke shop will sweep you up off your feet and I can’t wait to see Weasley wizard Wheezes everywhere I go.

Thank you so much for last night, please don’t forget to send me your Christmas list - please don’t get me anything - Gideon is enough.

Focus on your bloody homework!

Speak soon and lots of love,

Y/N.

Looking over and your Owl, now named Gideon who had grown so much he was no longer a tiny owlet, you stroked his head and giggled at him as he nibbled on your finger.

“Alright, alright, but don’t be out too long” you whispered, opening your bedroom window, Gideon flapping his wings, leaping out and soaring into the night sky.

You beamed at your treasure, flying away to get some food for the evening, climbing into your bed as quietly as you could, hoping you wouldn’t wake up Hermione or your other roommates. Sliding your hand under your pillow, you patted around for the love letters from George you were hiding from everyone.

Your fingers grazed the corners of the crinkled parchment, lifting up your pillow you retrieved his most recent letter, taking it with you as you dive under your covers, shielding you from your roommates and giving you some privacy.

“Lumos!” You whispered, a beam of light stretching out from the tip of your wand, your cheeks flushing again upon seeing George’s handwriting.

Dearest Y/N,

Thank you for the heads-up, saved me and Freddie a lot of trouble, I swear one day Mr Filch and that bloody cat won’t know what’s hit them - if it wasn’t for you, we would’ve lost all of our plans and The Marauders Map, so thank you again for saving us all that trouble.

These three months have flown by so fast, I can’t believe it, I know this seems rather daft - a tall prankster being all lovey-dovey like this, but you really make me happy and I can’t wait to spend more time with you.

If you ever want to test any puking pastilles or fainting fancies, let me know and I’ll be able to look after you, love.

Looking forward to seeing you on Saturday so we can actually speak face to face - if Ron asks, you already know what to say.

Wrap up warm, it’ll be quite cold in Hogsmeade.

Looking forward to seeing you,

lots of love,

Georgie.

“Where are you off to so early? We never see you anymore over the weekend!” Ron complained, a mouthful of bacon.

“Oh get some manners, Ronald!” Hermione hissed, knitting her eyebrows together and grimacing.

You stood on the spot and stared at Ron, trying to plaster the most obvious expression on your face to make him feel stupid. “I’m off to spend some quality time with Gideon, he’s only a few months old and I want to make sure he’s as stable as Penny was at her age - I won’t be able to trust him to send letters long distances otherwise.” you lied.

But in all honesty, you weren’t really lying completely, next weekend was the end of term and the start of the Christmas Holidays - you wanted to make sure Gideon could deliver George’s letters to the burrow, you wouldn’t be able to hide them around for him to stumble across and pick up any more, and the two of you already discussed the problems of trying to use a device which muggles called a telephone.

“I’ll write you letters every week” George whispered, standing next to you in the corridors swarming with busy students, Fred chasing after Angelina outside “look in the middle of your textbooks, I’ll slide them in the middle of the pages.”

Opening up your book, a piece of folded parchment slid down and fell into your lap, you quickly stuffed it into your pocket, looking around to see if Ron noticed - luckily for you who he was copying Hermione’s classwork.

Ron looked lost for words, swallowing his bacon and thinking about your owl and how much you truly loved them “Alright then, well, see you later.” he replied,

You raised your eyebrows and smiled, waving goodbye to him, Harry and Hermione, walking out of the Great Hall and getting ready to meet George in Hogsmeade.

“She spends too much time with that bloody owl if you ask me” Ron muttered, stabbing some peas with his fork.

Hermione sighed “I think it’s quite sweet actually, she’s quite similar to Hagrid.”

Harry grinned and started to laugh, Ron rolled his eyes.

“Except the fact that she’s not a giant and she only flocks to birds of prey, not dragons or creatures that could kill us!”

“Well, at least you know where she’s going” Fred called out, walking past his brother “George never tells me where he’s off to and what he’s up to on a Saturday, he’s skiving Quidditch practice again and I get in bothered for it - I can’t check either because he’s got that sodding map with him!”

George wasn’t wrong, this time of year, Hogsmeade was freezing - your fingers changed colour and you could feel the ache and tingle against the freezing air that nibbled on your exposed skin.

You embraced yourself in one of the jumpers he had given you, one you were wearing under your fluffy winter coat which matched the colour of the snow. Looking around the small Village, you noticed George waiting outside The Three Broomsticks, looking slightly nervous as he scratched the back of his head.

You walked up to him, as you got closer you couldn’t help but blush at his red nose that had been attacked from the harsh winter air “Hello, George” you smiled softly, pulling him into a hug after clearing the coast of possible students.

George held you in his arms for a moment, taking in your scent and the feeling of your face against his chest, your hair under his chin as it rested on your head. “shall we get a drink, love?” he asked softly.

Following him inside and getting sat down in a quieter area of the pub, George ordered you and him a butterbeer and held your hand over the table, casually checking the map every now and then, checking on his brothers.

“It’s so good to see your face” he smiled, his starry eyes getting lost in yours.

You blushed and smiled widely, your drinks being placed down on your table, “It’s so good to see you too, can’t believe it’s been three months already!”

George took a sip of his butterbeer, the butterscotch warming up his tummy, you mirrored him, leaving behind a white foamy moustache. George smirked and leaned over the table, carefully avoiding spilling his drink as he wiped away the foam sitting on your top lip with his thumb, his index finger lifting up your chin.

The two of you exchanged a quick, risky kiss, remembering you needed to tone things down despite how hard the temptation was to snog him. George leaned back in his chair, sucking the foam off his thumb.

“I’ve been training Gideon” you beamed, the butterbeer warming you up “he’s finally got the hang of flying long distances and coming back in one piece.”

Meeting George in the small and squashed broom closet, he examined your tired features, looking slightly concerned, his hand resting against your face.

“Are you alright love?” he asked, “you look exhausted.”

You nodded and replied “I’m fine” suppressing a yawn “been up all night with Gideon, he’s growing so fast and he won’t allow me to baby him forever - he’ll be big enough to deliver letters soon.”

George felt a part of him fall in love with you all over again, the picture of you and Gideon in his mind made his insides got all warm and fuzzy - more so than his drink.

“So now he’ll be delivering you letters over Christmas!”

George went quiet and scratched behind his head like he did when he stood outside the pub, he paused for a moment and pursed his lips, licking them. “About that..” he trailed off, staring at his now half-full glass of butterbeer.

Your insides started to sink suddenly but your hopes were lifting, trying to figure out what he was going to say.

Is he staying at Hogwarts for Christmas with me whilst everyone else goes home? Am I unable to send him letters over Christmas if he goes back home?

“What is it?” you asked, both curiously and nervously.

George broke out into a smile, quickly glancing at the map again, then looking back into his favourite pair of eyes.

“Well, I was wondering...” he paused again “if you would like to stay at the burrow over Christmas, with me, everyone else of course but-”

“Yes!” you squealed, getting excited “oh George I would love to!”

George broke out into a grin, so relieved you were willing to come and spend some more time with him, a chance for the two of you to try and get some private time together, in the comfort of his own home.

“I had to ask mum ‘on behalf of Ron’ so if she says anything, just go through with it” George said quietly “Ron wouldn’t remember asking me to do such a thing anyway - his head is that clouded with Hermione.”

You swallowed down the rest of your drink, remembering to wipe away your foamy moustache this time “This is going to be wonderful, George” you smiled, squeezing his hand over to the table “Two whole weeks that we can just.. just be ourselves together!”

George smiled but remembered to remind you “We still need to keep everything on the down-low, it will be a full house and if we disappear it will be obvious we’re together - we’ll just need to wait for everyone to go to bed or go for a walk when they’re too busy to notice.”

You nodded your head, remembering that you would now be under not just Ron’s watch, but every Weasley who wouldn’t approve of your budding relationship.

George kissed your hand and looked down at the map once more, his smile dropping.

“Shit!” he panicked, getting up out of his seat.

“What is it?” you panicked, following him to the back doors in the pub.

He stared down at the map, his eyes following the group of feet storming into Hogsmeade “Fred, Ron, Harry - everyone’s heading this way - to this bloody pub!”

You swallowed hard, the butterbeer churning in your stomach, George’s drink rising up into his throat.

“When we can get away I’ll head to the owlery!” you put your coat back on, pulling the zip up quickly “you go hurry to Honey Dukes or Zonko’s when you get the chance, you’ll find your letter folded in your Quidditch jersey!”

George nodded, looking up from the map and quickly kissing you on the lips, the look in his eyes expressing the most sympathy you had ever seen.

Keeping things a secret would only get harder, harder than you and George were expecting.

Tag list: @amourtentiaa @reeophidian @inglourious-imagines @alwaysnforeverfangirl @horrorxweasley @sebby-staan @xmalfoyweasleyx

#george weasley #george wealsey x reader #george wealsey imagine #george weasley fanfiction #George Weasley one shot #fred weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley fanfiction #fred weasley x you #fred weasley imagine #ron weasley #ron weasly x reader #ron weasly imagine #ron weasley oneshot #ron weasley fanfic #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #Harry Potter fanfic

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tomtenadia · 3 years ago

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Remember Us - part 6

Monday surprise!

As some of you might have read from my post from yesterday, I officially finished this fic and it will have 10 parts. this was the original plan and I am glad I kept it. The idea of having many more chapters of Rowan not recognising his family was far too painful.

Chapter 9 and 10 are so sweet that they will probably give you cavities, but I just thought they deserved the best happy ending.

Also, i got very attached to Thomas and he is a great fan of his parents.

Well, I hope you will enjoy this.

-------

Rowan had been staying at Lorcan’s while Aelin still kept her distance. It had been two weeks and they had been horrendous. She had blocked him off of her life. She was not answering his calls or texts and apparently had told Elide not to tell him anything about her. He was furious. They should be together and face such a tragic moment in their lives, together. But Aelin would not listen. He had tried everything to talk to her.

Someone knocked on the door and, since he was home alone, he went to open it.

On the other side he found Aelin. But the woman in front of him had a lifeless stare and deep shadows under her eyes. She was the ghost of his wife.

“Ro…” she said in a thin voice and then broke down in heavy sob.

Rowan didn’t even think. His arms pulled her at his chest and kissed her head. The sight of an Aelin so heartbroken was a shot to his heart.

“I am sorry.” She added, hiding her face in his chest and inhaling his scent that always gave her comfort.

“Shhh… I am here. I am never letting you go again, no matter how much you shout at me.” Another tender kiss “I am coming home and we’ll get through this.”

Rowan was in bed and staring at the ceiling after the dream woke him up. The Aelin from the dream was a shell compared to the version sleeping at his side. He turned his head and stared at her sleepy face and a deep part of him hoped she was fine. That the baby was fine. Because he knew for sure he didn’t want to see her again in the conditions she had been in the dream. Seeing Aelin in pain or sad hurt him.

He sighed and got off the bed and walked to the kitchen but once he got there he realised he had no idea where anything was. Aelin had said he would make pancakes but could not remember the day she had said.

A splitting headache hit him and Rowan sat down on the sofa, head in his hands and then for a moment he felt disoriented and could not recognise his surroundings. Panic hit him. He looked up and saw a boy staring at him. He jumped up and almost fell.

“Dad.” The boy’s voice was almost tearful.

And as quickly as the moment of disorientation came, just as rapidly it went away and lucidity returned.

“Tom,” he ran to the boy and hugged him to console him as soon as he started crying. He had scared him “I am sorry I frightened you.” Thomas hugged his father and stopped crying and Rowan relaxed for an instant.

“Do you want pancakes?” He asked his son, still not letting him go.

“It’s not Saturday.” Said the boy, looking at his father in his eyes.

“Shhhh…” said Rowan with a finger against his mouth “You can have pancakes all the time.” He lifted the boy in his arms “but you need to tell me where everything is.”

Thomas grinned and pointed to the kitchen and once in there he started pointing at the doors and Rowan finally found a pan. Then he grabbed his phone and searched for a recipe, grabbed eggs and milk from the fridge and joined Thomas back at the counter who, in the meantime, had grabbed a chair and was kneeling on it so he could follow his dad.

“Will you be my assistant?” the boy nodded eagerly.

After ten minutes he was mixing the batter making sure it was smooth as the instructions recommended.

“Ok, Tom, are you ready for the first one?”

“Pancakes,” he shouted happily and Rowan smiled. He might remember a very few things about his son but he was definitely going to cherish that moment. It didn’t matter if it had been only a day. He was already in love with the two children. He just hoped he could become a good father to them once again.

Aelin woke up and found the bed empty and for a moment she thought it had been only a dream, but as she rolled over she noticed Rowan’s side was crumpled and gently caressed his pillow. He had always been an early riser and it seemed that some things had not changed.

She sat up, grabbed her fleece from the chair and left the bed looking for Rowan.

As she exited the bedroom she heard laughter coming from the kitchen and followed the sounds and once inside she could not believe the scene. Thomas was kneeling on a chair beside Rowan trying to cook something.

“Pancakes on a Wednesday?”

Thomas turned to her “shhh mum, it’s a secret.”

Aelin walked to her son and kissed his head “good morning, my love.”

“I am helping dad with pancakes. He doesn’t remember how to make them.”

Rowan flipped one and Thomas clapped “that is mine.” He grabbed a plate and placed the pancake on it “go and sit while I make more.”

Thomas climbed down the chair and walked to the table with his plate.

Aelin moved to Rowan’s side “did you sleep well?”

Her husband nodded and hesitated for a moment wether to tell her about his episode. Then he sighed and told her what had happened and Aelin looked at him with a doctor’s eye.

“A TBI can have such effects. It can cause moments of disorientation in which the person doesn’t know where he is. It can also affect short term memory, making it difficult to learn new things or even remember things you just did.” She placed a few more pancakes in Thomas’ plate “but there are ways to help you. We can do lists, have notepads and clipboards in the house. Have a note book and note down things.” She explained going back at his side “long term memory is stored already in your brain,” and playfully patted his head “you actually haven’t lost them. They are still all there. It’s just your brain has to sort through them again. It’s very complicated and technical, but they will come back. Short term memory is another issue. Do you still feel confused?”

Rowan shook his head and passed Aelin a plate with pancakes and then grabbed the jar of Nutella “go and scoff your breakfast.”

Aelin grinned “see? You remembered I take them with Nutella.”

In that instant they heard a cry and Aelin realised Freyja had woken up. She was about to stand when Rowan stopped her “Eat,” he commanded and again she had a glimpse of past Rowan. The one who would made sure she ate.

A moment later he came back with his daughter in his arms “I think our princess wants to join the breakfast club as well.” Freyja threw her chubby arms around his neck, snuggling close to him “what does she eat?”

Aelin went to the fridge and grabbed one of her pressed meals and Rowan began feeding his daughter.

It was an hour later when Aelin was ready for work “mum should be back very soon and I am taking Thomas to the nursery. Will you be okay with Freyja for half an hour tops? I changed her and she is fed, it should be easy.”

Rowan lifted the little girl in his arms “we should be fine.” And gave her his best reassuring smile.

“You call me if you have any problems.”

Thomas went to hug his dad before following Aelin out of the door.

Once he was alone with his daughter he stood, with her still in his arms and hobbled around the living room and stared at their impressive bookcase. Freyja leaned forward and with her hands tried to grab a book “ ‘tory” she babbled.

“Do you want me to read you a story?” He asked her and the girl green eyes were fixed on him and then she nodded.

He placed her down on the carpet and turned to the library in search of a storybook for her.

“I think I— ” he turned with a book in his hands and froze. Freyja was gone. Shit.

“Freyja.” He called her, panic rising in his voice. She couldn’t have gone far. How fast could a 18 months toddler go? He took his cane and started looking around the house “Freyja?”

In that instant Evalin came back and he breathed in relief.

“Rowan, are you okay?”

He was the worst father ever “I lost Freyja. I was looking for a storybook and when I turned she was gone.” He was preparing himself from some lashing from his mother in law but the woman burst into laughter.

“She does that. Thomas has been teaching her how to play hide and seek,” the woman explained calmly walking around the house and then going to the girl’s bedroom. Rowan followed her.

Evalin lifted the blanket from the side of the bed and pointed at under her bed.

Rowan heard a faint giggle.

“I wonder where my girl is.” Said Evalin keeping up the pretence. She opened the wardrobe “no, she is not here.” Rowan observed her and then joined in “she is not in the toy box either.”

Evalin placed her hands on her hips and grinned at Rowan then crouched down “here you are.”

The little girl screamed in delight as her grandma caught her.

The three of them went back to the living room and Evalin passed Freyja back to Rowan and went to unpack her shopping bags.

“Do you need a hand?” He offered.

“No, it’s just fruits and veggies and a few more things. I love to go down at the market in the morning and buy fresh ingredients.” She told him, “you love to go too on your day off, wake up early and also go to the fish market and get the first catch.”

Rowan sat on a chair at the big table with his daughter in his arms.

“Aelin can cook, but you are the chef of the family.”

He smiled back and gently bounced Freyja on his knee and she giggled.

“How does it feel being back home?” She asked her son in law while stashing away the groceries.

Rowan sighed “it feels good and strange at the same time.” It was hard to explain how he felt without sounding like a lunatic “Some things are starting to feel familiar. But others feel totally new and others scare me.” He confessed but the woman in front of him looked at him with tenderness “the kids for example, I feel like I love them madly already but it pains me that the memories with them are still fuzzy. I want to give them back their father.”

“And Aelin?”

Rowan sighed “I think I feel something for her. I would not call it love yet. But yesterday we kissed and it felt like the most normal thing ever.”

Evalin smiled.

“But my memories are a jumble in my head right now. I have them, they are there and I found that being at home is triggering more and more of them. I want to do this. I want us to be a family again.” He grabbed his phone and showed her the photo on his home screen. The one on the beach, all of them smiling and happy. “I want this again. I just don’t know how to get there.”

“Rowan,” Evalin walked to him once done with the groceries and sat at his side “you have been awake for a month and at home for two days.” She patted his knee “both Aelin and I think that being home will help trigger more of your memories. Look through photo albums.” She stood and opened a cabinet and took out a box which once opened he discovered it contained a lot of photo albums. “Digital is good, but you and Aelin both love to print out the photos and make scrapbooks.” She rummaged in the box for a moment and then passed him an album “start with this.”

Rowan took it and it noticed it was their wedding album “Her friend Chaol took all the photos and then Aelin made a scrapbook and added notes and comments on it. She said she did not want the usual boring wedding album.”

He opened the first page and in big colourful letter and nice calligraphy it said Buzzard & Fireheart: the beginning of an epic tale.

The second page it had a picture of the two of them in an armour, back to back and swords drawn.

“You two hired some costumes for that photo.”

Rowan laughed and kept on flipping through the photo album. It was organised like a story, with small narrating paragraphs near the photos and he read each one of them.

“You two got married on a beach, then had a gigantic barbecue for all your friends and then when night came you lit a bonfire and had your first dance as husband and wife in front of the fire. Both of you barefoot.”

Rowan smiled “it sounds like fun.”

“It was a great day.” She bounced Freyja on her lap “all the albums tell a story. You did all of them like that so when looking back you could also remember more of those moments.”

Rowan reached the page where they were standing in front of Aedion, who officiated the wedding, and he stared at Aelin. Her light blue dress was gorgeous, but he was stuck on her smile. In the photo he was looking at she has the brightest of smiles and he realised that falling for her would be so easy. She was caring, brilliant, funny and sarcastic. She had passion. She had fire.

She was his Fireheart.

#rowan whitethorn #rowaelinkids #rowan x aelin #aelin galathynius #domestic fluff #throneofglassseries

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