#she has so many romantic supports because she's an inherently romantic person but without a doubt she does not see sylvain that way

[dragonsarecats]

not to be perpetually obsessed with sylvain and hilda's friendship (i am), but as I get back into my maddening new game regular golden deer run i truly do think their meta is so interesting because their personal skills are really perfect for each other, and yet the game goes out of it's way to make their relationship purely platonic! parking hilda and sylvain next to each other on the front lines in every battle is just good strategy--it makes sylvain far better at counter attacking, and can often be used to drag attention off of hilda in early game before she can easily one turn kill someone! sylvain is pretty much THE character for getting talked about in alternate routes to his main (obviously because of his easy recruiting methods if you play fem. Byleth--which again, the way Sylvain's combat meta and his story meta intersect is SO interesting at all times to me) despite not being a character like Ashe, for example, who's built into the narrative of being able to rerecruit in the war phase and I just. really like how he an hilda interact in honestly either azure moon OR golden deer? by and large it does NOT change their friendship but the context is truly wild. what do you mean sylvain's best combat partner in game is the person who sees dimitri die and is devastated by not being able to save him (paralleing to felix), and refuses to change houses unless you cannot kill claude in that route!!! what do you MEAN hilda's best combat partner in game is the person most easily able to swap houses because he's desperate to escape his situation to the point of leaving behind the people he cares about most (he gets ONE A support outside of his house and it's DOROTHEA which is INSANE) which is demonstrated in the fact that he will tell you to kill his brother if he's at that fight!!!

these two. man...

[oblivionbladetd]

(On "Something You Can Learn from Lorch: Nothing is Worse than Boring") You put this so well!!!

I genuinely think, that Lily just couldn't write a whole book/novel. "One-shot"-like, shorts are the only format she can think, because she genuinely doesn't know how to frame a story, map out a plot and create characters who are more than a few positive labels pinned to a wooden board. (And doesn't even mention research. Like Sai put it beautifully about her stream, when she read Scars - Plan B, that Lily was too lazy/did not care to look up when was that fucking Plan B even introduced to the market! This is something even a beta reader could have fixed for her.)

Her stories always follow the same "feel-good" format of a broken family/found family, and it's members being "soooo sweet and loving and like :3" with each other. And fine, there are many authors out there who make a living out of like, essentially writing the same story all over again and again, but those are at least full stories! The same cookie-cutter bullshit romance (no hate, but I think this genre suffers the most from it) but at least they play around with the tropes of the archetype of the two main characters, and we, the readers are given some kind of "journey" from point A to point B.

Lily just shoves two OCs in your face as is like "This is X, she likes Y! And this is Y, she likes X!" and that is all, this is their fucking personality that matters from the point of view of the writing!

I don't want to be rude, but I this is why when she, like ages ago mentioned something like "I hardly write a fanfic without a oc" (before she started calling Ao3, the "scam machine" and complained about the explicit shit on it? Like cool, than don't use it, and support a website that treats NSFW stuff differently) makes so much sense now. Writing a fanfiction where the characters are not OOC, requires you to understand that character. Both their good and their bad sits, know what is their motivation, how would they act and think is different situations... just, know them! But with an OCs, like Lily's were most of the time, there the story mainly focuses around them, you don't have to - because they are merely backstage actors in their own world. And it would be fine, really (bad fanfic exist all over the fandoms, and some can be genuinely cute, when a fresh fan writes it with so much exactment) but I think, in the case of Lily, it just shows her unwillingness to actually understand a character (and as I writer, see how they were "build it", and how you can use it in your own story). She doesn't know how to understand a character, therefore cannot build up her owns.

She doesn't "don't want to write publish a book" she couldn't.

Look no further than Pokemadhouse. Burgeoning romantic tension is released through a valve of sisterhood... because that's somehow not weird... plus, it's wild fluctuations in tone. Even sith resurgence seems held together only by needing to line up with the sequel trilogy. She isn't great at long form.

I'd argue it's a side effect of her toothless writing as much as Lily having the attention of a mayfly. A good character flaw by itself can easily have a story seamlessly layer on top of it. Spy Family is an easy example in that it has Anya as an inherently selfish 5-year-old. She manages to stitch a super interesting Family for herself, but anybody that's thought about the show for even a little can tell you the cart Anya used to escape the orphanage is full of dynamite and is being express shipped to a burning building. This extends beyond her, but for the sake of brevity, we'll just focus in. It leads to there being no end of interesting tension simply because she has all the tools to solve her problems, but neither the drive or foresight to effectively use them. If you gave her the drive and foresight of say, Donavan. Boom, plot over. She'd have 0 trouble and probably even sus out that just telling Loid she's psychic would make her an invaluable asset to operation strix that would be put on easy street for life as mind reading in a spy thriller is 100000% a plot breaker power. without her flaws.

Now the story wouldn't be completely fucked, but a new emphasis must be placed, external forces. In the movie The Beekeeper, our protagonist, Adam Clay, is more than well equipped to take care of business. Fuck I don't think he even fires a gun until the last act simply because that's how hard he outranks the people he's fighting. He just doesn't need a gun until he is literally outnumbered by a hundred, if not more. The story remains interesting in the clever ways he dispatches his foes with whatever he has at hand if he isn't just boxing them with badass fighting skills. The drive is up to a certain point. You can just have him keep being a badass in increasingly interesting locals against better trained opponents. Heck, it even wrestles with the moral implications that no matter how vindicated he is, the body count and collateral are building sky high, and even if he is doing the right thing it's not going to be worth it.

Lily has neither the masterful character work nor the heart to throw anything at them that can't be easily and cleanly handled. What else can you really write other than peeks at them doing fuck all? Chapter 2 of scars is literally just the hotel transylvania meme

Make a full novel of just this. You really can't without wildly changing to tone of it. This is the caliber of Lily's writing as it sits. A one and done meme that you just have to stare at long past the chuckle. Real high art.

[autistichalsin]

(Plastering an obligatory I AM A LESBIAN here.) (also, in retrospect this feels like soapboxing and if you feel uncomfortable in any way with me ranting about petty drama related to the harassment that you went through feel free to delete this ask)

Calling you lesbiphobic for not liking Minthara made me do a huge double take??

YES lesbiphobia is a problem, and people assigning lesbiphobia to not liking a character on the grounds that a lot of their friends who like her are lesbians only takes away from the actual severity of the word.

You can’t just wave words around. Is Minthara, as a character, a symbolization or statement about lesbianism in a way that critique or dislike of her character would imply some kind of inextricable problem with it?

Or has the way she’s seen or adopted in the fandom lead to her being inseparable from such subtext? And I don’t mean being liked by many lesbians simply because we think she’s neat or a cool character-

Is she known to be liked because we feel she represents something significant about lesbianism? Does the fact that many lesbians like her mean or present something notable about the lesbian experience, to the point where it’s a dialogue that can’t in good faith be ignored in discussions about her?

No. She’s openly sapphic, but she’s one of the many bisexual women companions, and while her queerness is an important facet of her character, the writing doesn’t linger on it- That is to say, it’s not a central theme to her character and story. She’s not seen as some grand statement or character symbolizing something about lesbianism in the fandom, either. A lot of us simply.. like her. (And that’s completely fine!!)

On top of that, she’s explicitly (EXPLICITLY) a EVIL character to boot. She’s a horrible person- she was THE evil route companion. (And, again, her evilness has nothing to do with her being a sapphic woman.) And that’s great! I like her because she’s an apologetically horrible woman who’s allowed to be unapologetically horrible And a woman without being punished specifically for that.

But somebody disliking her- as a character- as a fictional, made of pixels, not real character- BECAUSE of the numerous horrible evil things she does- isn’t lesbiphobia. And even if it was, that wouldn’t be grounds the harass them for it.

Thank you anon- and don't worry. I'm going to start taking things as discourse so those who don't want to see anymore don't have to because I feel like I've put enough sadness on their pages, but I definitely wanted to respond to this.

(The irony here is that I ALSO am a [nonbinary] lesbian, but they've made really gross implications that because of my thirsty posts about Halsin, I'm just lying...)

Yeah, it really is wild that not liking HER of all characters got me called that. But I guess, like... thanks for being so transparent, I guess??? Like it literally was never about any issue they pretended it was, it was literally that I didn't like their Drow Dommy Mommy.

Your point is totally correct, but I do have the feeling that if you asked them, they WOULD say that Minthara represents something "inherently lesbian" (I guess the lesbian quality of... being a terrible person who supports slavery? It's lesbiphobic to not support slavery I guess) such that rejecting her is rejecting lesbianism itself. And it's worth noting that this group of people are INCREDIBLY biphobic- they hate when you say Minthara is bi, as well as Shadowheart, and they say shipping SH with men is "icky." Which tells you all you need to know really.

They deny she's evil. Straight up. They literally ask what she did that was evil, feigning ignorance, or say it was sweet and romantic etc. The way they accuse others of not being able to tell fantasy from reality is because they themselves can't do it.

[sun-marie]

Thoughts on Claude von Reigan for the character breakdown thing?

How I feel about this character: I really like Claude, I find his character really compelling! The Golden Deer route is my second favorite route of the game, and in my favorite route, the Blue Lions, I like the Alliance's role (as mostly demonstrated through Claude) as a wildcard third party. I like how he reclaimed himself despite his rough upbringing and allowed it to shape him rather than define him, and I am a sucker in general for characters who seemingly have a plan for everything. Also, his design is an 11/10, top tier, especially his post-timeskip with the pushed back hair and lil beard <3

All the people I ship romantically with this character: So personally, I actually like him best with Hilda, I love how ride-or-die they are for each other despite playing it off so casually. The problem is that while Hilda is my favorite partner for Claude, Hilda herself has *many* great potential partners, one of them being Lorenz. So (at least in my BL playthroughs) I hc they're all in this terrible soap-opera love triangle, where Hilda is on-again-off-again with Claude until she gets together with Lorenz, which lasts until he defects to the Empire, in which they breakup (Lorenz actually ends up dying on the Great Bridge of Myrddin, because Tragedy™). Then, a few years after the game ends and relations between Fódlan and Almyra have improved, Hilda and Claude officially get together.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I really enjoy the potential of his friendship with Dimitri, particularly the aspect of which they are both the heads of incredibly important nations, and so I feel there is an inherent respect borne out of their equality of power that's really fun to watch.

Additionally, I love his supports with Cyril and really wish they had an A support!

My unpopular opinion about this character: I don't know that I have any? I think the closest I would have is that I'm not a huge fan of Claudeleth, but not only does that have less to do with Claude and more to do with me just preferring other Byleth pairings, but also bc plenty of other people don't ship them.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I really really wish he stuck around for the ending of the Blue Lions route. In my ideal, perfect, hypothetical world, the Blue Lions and Golden Deer routes would be combined into one, with Claude joining up in the Chapter "Golden Deer's Plea" and the BL route being the dominant one until after Edelgard is defeated, with the Chapter "Oath of the Dagger". From there, transitioning into the GD for finding Rhea with the Chapter "The City Without Light" and going to Shambhala and fighting Nemesis.

I understand that they didn't do this for replayability purposes, but for me, the BL ending leaves just a little to be desired in the larger scale of the lore and Claude is too good of a character to just disappear for the last few chapters.

GIVE ME A CHARACTER: and I’ll break their ass down:

[reginarubie]

Hello ❤️. Thanks for writing the new fic. I loved it.

While i totally understand that u will not make a jon/Sansa/aemond love triangle, might i just gently suggest that u can keep jon still a bit romantically interested in Sansa. Because after all she was the one who literally gave him purpose after he got zombified and made him king. I mean she has given him her unconditional love and support even when he ignored her and brought Dany with him.

But now Sansa is with aemond and she truly loves him (it's obvious to us), I'm sure naturally jon would feel a bit sad or feel like he missed a chance with a person who truly loved him (a little bit of angst whether it is romantic or platonic from jon). But jon being a gentleman wouldn't pursue such a thing when he knows aemond truly loves her. Though he wants to make sure this new blondie is truly worthy of her.

Please ignore all of this if it's not your cup of tea. But i like a little bit of one sided jonsa in aemond/Sansa. Also helps Aemond realize that Sansa can easily find good men who will love her the way she deserves if he is not good enough for her.

ciao nonny,

first of all thank you :D

Look, I'll link here my last additional content (in case you've not happened on it yet). I have no intention of making a Jon/Aemond/Sansa triangle but that doesn't mean that I won't be addressing — in some way — the bond between Sansa and Jon, because it has been such a defining force for each of them that it would be like cutting half the character if I were to simply ignore it.

Jon was the first man Sansa trusted inherently, even when he returned home having given the crown Sansa had put on his head to a foreign (completely ignoring his siblings claim), Sansa trusted him so fully that she felt at ease in expressing her distaste and unfavorable opinion toward Daenerys without fear of repercussion — we know it's that way because Sansa tells Jon in not so many words that he is not Joffrey to her, which is why she feels confident in showing her opinion without any filter, because she knows Jon will have her back even if they don't agree.

And Jon takes that seriously, very seriously, and on the other hand Sansa gives him something Jon never thought he could have: she gives him the North (the very fact that she tells him he should take the lord's rooms even though she is the one with the Stark name and the one who won them the battle of bastards tells us more than enough) and she truly believes in him. She trusts him and believes in him.

I think that both in show canon and in the book Sansa and Jon will have a very hard time with their eventual romantic feelings for each other especially if they surface before the truth is unveiled — which is the route I am going with in this story — and it's very possible that whilst their feelings for one another may be the driving motivator of either or both, they could very well keep them inner for a long time; especially if Jon ends up really killing Dany.

Now Sansa has met Aemond, who has reminded her of Jon since the beginning, though maybe a different version, a version her brother could've been had life been different, that enabled her to look beyond the name he had gathered in history (kinslayer) to see what more was there to him, and found a cornucopia of unfiltered love, poetic love, filled with the same kind of passion and strength of the songs she so much loved as a child, and what more he wants her without taking in a account her claim, as he isn't even aware she has one (and has — by his standard — a better one than her when she gets her own keep). He loves her because she is Ned(Sansa) and not because of the claim she might give him (which is a big fear for Sansa).

Ultimately Aemond has carved slowly but surely a place in Sansa' heart, and it hasn't been given or effortless, like for Jon — though both put the effort to become each other's dream without even knowing it — it has been something he has earned, mainly because Sansa was very suspicious of him in the beginning, both for her story with Targaryens and both because she is not the naive girl she once was.

I think that if Jon and Aemond were ever to meet it'd be pretty interesting and yes Jon would never purse anything that could potentially take away Sansa's happiness, though he might just have ‘words’ with this blondie who has gotten his sister's attention.

Here, have this for your Firesteel/Jonsa heart — I hope you will enjoy!

SNEAK PEEK CHAPTER 3 KBFKBSII

As always thank you, and sending all my love~G.

[owedfavors]

ON LOVING & BEING LOVED ;

to say that love is complicated for una is an understatement. for her whole life, in one way or another, she has learned to play a role defined by pragmatism, duty, excellence, and emotional detachment. this began with her parents’ expectations and the rigid way in which they ran their household. it became the mask she wore to be the “perfect” starfleet officer. she learned love from her brothers, but that love was never the effusive love of family. they were not a family that embraced, nor that spoke of their feelings. she learned to love quietly, through small acts of service, through quiet sharing of another’s enthusiasm, through silent presence and wordless support.

loving una feels like trying to hold water in cupped hands, like some part of her is always slipping away, no matter how tightly you attempt to hold her. she does not know how to be completely herself around others ( for most of her life, she never has someone she can be just herself with, without feeling the weight of other obligations, other expectations ). she shares so little, and with many people cannot share more, of what actually makes her her: from her past, to her interests, to her aspirations. and so, even with her closest friends, she always keeps her cards close to her chest, tentative to share even that which is truly harmless. it’s reflex, from secrets too big to share and the constant fear that the closer someone is to her, the more they know her, not merely the facade of a perfect starfleet officer that she wears as a mask, the more likely it is that her lies shatter, that some small crack will form that someone could ( intentionally or otherwise ) pry open until it all falls apart around her. she instinctively keeps people at arms length, and learning to truly let someone she loves in is a slow process, under any circumstances. in a situation where she cannot reveal that she is illyrian, it becomes even longer.

una also has a complicated relationship with her sense of identity: she has essentially forged her entire identity, and to her, the una evers everyone knows often feels like a lie, like a role she plays, like she’s posing as someone, as something, that isn’t her. it is her, both because over time her own personality has crept back into the pragmatic and efficient and dispassionate starfleet officer, and because she built the mask out of pieces of who she was, but it's easy for una to lose sight of this. in addition, it’s a persona she considers uninteresting, a perspective reinforced by the many who have criticized her personality over the years. she does not care, personally, but to let someone love that version of her… it never sits quite right with her, and she struggles with what identity she is supposed to present to them, and with how much of it may be a lie, and with how unfair is it to let them love a lie.

loving her feels sometimes like an impossible task, because when it comes to demonstrations of love, una does not know how to operate within the “usual” avenues. she’s extremely reserved when it comes to touch, and largely keeps her distance except when contact is necessary. she’s not touch averse, nor will she rebuff physical displays of affection, but she rarely will initiate contact. nor is the one for grand ( or sappy ) professions of love: she keeps her emotions as restrained as she does the rest of her behavior, showing happiness and sorrow and anger and fear only in the smallest ways. whether with friends or a romantic partner, the words I love you will never come easy, nor does she quite know how to respond to them. she is so inherently pragmatic that if someone says grand romantic ( but impractical ) things to her, she will recognize their intent for what it is, and appreciate it for that intent, but also struggle to accept it, to not correct the impracticality of the statement. she does not even make it easy to express affection through taking care of her, because she is so relentlessly independent that she doesn’t leave space for others, nor is she willing to display perceived weakness.

none of this, however, diminishes how deeply una can and does love. she feels everything so intensely; she merely struggles with outward expression of that emotion. her demonstrations of love are quiet. she goes out of her way to learn about things that matter to or that interest those she cares about, though she’ll very rarely give more than the most subtle indication she’s done so. she shows love in a fierce loyalty that doesn’t always mean doing what someone wants, but what they need. she goes out of her way to take things off the plate of those she cares about — but will do it such that they will never realize it was on their plate in the first place. she expresses love in glimpses of humor and of emotion, in hints and tidbits of information she offers about herself ( and about what interests her, what matters to her, how she feels about things ).

loving una, be it platonically or romantically, is truly a process of learning to recognize all she doesn’t directly express and the unique way she loves and demonstrates that love. it is also, frankly, a process of waiting on her, of giving her space to learn to let her guard down and the safety to be herself and learn new ways of being. eventually, within a given friendship or relationship, she does learn to be softer, to offer affection more directly, to be at ease, and to be herself. it’s just a process of getting there.

[sukibenders]

@waitingforeddyneddy Okay, so I'm going to be respectful about this because it seems like you're under the impression that I, in some way, hate Kate and didn't watch the show, which isn't true. So, let's start off with this-- I never said that Kate was Edwina's cheerleader, so I don't know where you got that from. To be that she would have to support every little thing she does without complaint, which she doesn't because that isn't who Kate is. The cheerleader comment itself was about how some fans want Edwina to act, all while removing nuances and things to her character, said comment was never about Kate.

Secondly, Mary was under that Kate wanted to go off on her own to be free and experience adventures something that, following the death of her father and her taking his place that she hardly got to have. That didn't mean she wasn't unsure about it, but Kate is a young woman who has expressed in front of them that she had no intention of marrying, so it's not far fetch that she would think would want to leave. My og post was talking about people using that to say Mary is abusing Kate, which she isn't. Is she perfect? Never said she was, but she's not a horrible person. Parents slip up sometimes but that doesn't inherently make them the worst people ever. With Edwina, though the show doesn't provide many examples because there were other things within the show happening, she does show at times being saddened by her sister leaving but, again after Kate so adamantly states that's what she wants (even if not so) Edwina starts to believe it. Mind you, when Anthony tells her that he'll be happy to have their life free of Kate she looks very startled by the mere suggestion so to say that she doesn't care does not fit anywhere in the narrative. Is she naive and gets wrapped up in her own life at times? Yeah, but does that inherently make her an evil person?

Now, with Edwina placing Kate in positions to always be near Anthony, I do believe to some extent that she should have stopped but let's not pretend that it doesn't make sense--why would Edwina, who does love her sister I don't know why people are doubting that, be okay with a marriage where her would be husband and sister despise each other? Like the mere mention of the other to the two of them makes them seethe, why wouldn't she try to seek opportunities for them to at least bond? And, let's be honest here, most of the Kate and Anthony scenes are literally fueled by Edwina pushing them together. And with said humiliations in mind, the point of my original post was to point out how Anthony's egregious behavior ends up hurting Kate more than whatever Edwina had done beforehand (the wedding). The man literally called her the bane of his existence but just because it was followed up by a romantic line it's dropped? But Edwina, in a fit of hurt and anger saying a line that she regrets has to have that constantly over her head? That makes no sense.

And, since you had said I need to watch the show again I did if that eases you, and have notes. Notes of instances where Mary vouches for Kate as her daughter- in the first episode with Lady Danbury, referring to her as her eldest after questioning Edwina worriedly about where she was (so to say that they treat her disposable makes no sense), in front of others such as the Bridgertons, very protectively in front of her parents, and then reassuring Kate to soothe her irritational anxieties. Did I say Mary was perfect? No. But some people came from my original post where I was calling out people viewing Mary as less than or abusive in comparison to the Bridgertons as me saying that she's a Saint. The whole point was to point out how that narrative makes no sense.

Does Edwina have moments of being shitty towards Kate? Heck yeah, but to ignore the context and say something wasn't warranted, that she's not allowed to express her hurt no matter how ugly it gets holds no ground and proves my point of some simply wanting her to be Kate's cheerleader.

My og post was calling out the hypocrisy of viewing the Bridgertons as the best family out there and shitting on the Sharmas for every little thing. If you view Mary seeing Kate as "disposable" than let's give that same energy towards the Bridgertons who constantly make Anthony jump through hurdles whether from Violet dumping so much responsibility on him at a young age, to Colin taking out big endorsements of money without so much as considering Anthony in it, and so much more. Are any of these families perfect? No. But to call them abusive makes no sense (which is what I was saying originally, not in some way hating on Kate as you presume).

Now, because you had so kindly ended your post with the "sorry, not sorry" reply I would like it to be known that from the jump I was calling out some fans, not all. And, to add, a rant does not always have to be targeting people personally so if you took it that way, I don't know what to tell you otherwise that that wasn't the purpose. But anyway, have a nice day.

Some in the Bridgerton fandom will paint Kate as being in an abusive family, paint Edwina and Mary (even Lady Danbury at times) as these villainous people who make her life miserable just to make Anthony and his family the "better choice". Like, ignoring how this trope of "villainous poc family causing the poc female character to run away into arms of a white family" is so terrible it also makes no sense when in reference to these characters themselves. Let's start with the Sharmas: we have Kate who is the daughter of a man who remarried and had a child of their own. Now, from that alone people just outright use this as a way to paint Mary in a bad light, making up the most outlandish things, when Mary admits very adamantly that she always viewed Kate as her daughter and has/will always love her. Why do you think she was so outraged by Kate being willing to accept the deal given by the Sheffields?

Now, on to Edwina. Some will hang that "half-sister" line over her head but won't give the same action to Anthony, or heck, even Kate (though she doesn't deserve hate like Anthony more so criticism for some parts). Now the line was wrong, for sure, but that doesn't mean Edwina wasn't in her right. Here we have a young girl who lost her father, is aware of her family's social and economic status, and is informed from the beginning that her finding a suitable match will either tip or support the balance of her family's lives. Edwina is literally entered into the show searching for a husband to help support her family, that's first, romance came second. So enter Anthony who, infront of her, is so charming and kind and even though him and her sister are fighting at times he still seeks her out. He's wealthy and promises to provide for her family, something that she wants. Only to find out that none of it was real, or at least, real towards her and that people she loved and trusted were going behind her back in the worst way possible (AT HER WEDDING!) and others were aware. Like that's messed up and anyone would be upset over it, forgive a woman (more so a young woman in Edwina's case) expressing their feelings. Some of you want her to be Kate's cheerleader 24/7, and it shows. And Edwina was always ready to comfort Kate, from her (Kate) being detached from the world (during her wedding) to her supporting her (Kate) and Anthony being together, so let's not go on and say the Bridgertons would be better.

Now, on to the main family themselves, what we see of the Bridgertons in s2 isn't even that positive when you really think about it. From the beginning, when Anthony is looking for a wife with the most horrible standards, Violet, who notes that her son isn't looking for marriage for the right reasons and instead of trying to talk to him about it, instantly goes and states she's disappointed by his outlook and fears he won't be happy, confused as to why he's this way. BECAUSE YOU PLACED THAT WEIGHT ON HIM. Like I understand losing her husband was terrible, it was, but to then put all that pressure and weight on to your eldest and then become surprised when it starts affecting him in ways you don't like, while taking hardly any time to actually talk about his feelings, is laughable (couldn't think of a better word). Like whenever Anthony is around with valid points, she looks exasperated at times. And the other Bridgertons aren't better from Daphne literally pitying him (even tho she knew about his feelings for Kate and could have eased the situation instead of letting it go on) to Bennedict laughing at him at every turn to the siblings joking about the situation he put them in (which they themselves could have prevented but didn't & aren't affected as severely by like the Sharmas), it makes no sense how people would view them as better than the Sharmas.

Now on to Kate and how this view affects her. One big reason being is the fact that it ignores her insecurities, only paints them in a different light. Kate didn't view herself as Mary's daughter because her father had been with someone before he met Mary, long after she was born. She didn't think Mary would love her as a daughter and is surprised when she finds out that she actually does. Kate accepts the Sheffields deal because it will help Edwina, because she (Kate) understands their social and economic status and is willing to leave the only family she has just for them to be secure and happy. That's the reason she has turmoil, not because her family hates her and is abusing her! Like where did that thought even come from? Kate has issues of not expressing her feelings, bottling them up and trying to handle things herself until it blows over, that's it. And when she does express them, do you know who actively seeks to reassure her? Her mother and sister. They don't make jokes or make the environment able to express these emotions nonexistent (like the Bridgertons with Anthony), they try to help her because they love her.

Honestly, the Sharmas deserve so much better because if it isn't the show doing them dirty than it's the fandom.

[cosmicredcadet]

Actually you know what I will explain how Hallmark Christmas movies are amatonormative.

Starting with the biggest tell which is the plots. There are usually two kinds of plots hallmark goes for with the christmas films.

Plot 1: Woman is searching for a magical romance and finds it through Christmas

Plot 2: Woman is business focused and not interested in love and needs to be taught to love through the power of christmas and a man.

In terms of Plot 2, I feel like it's the most openly amatonormative (+ gotta love the extra addition of sexism in there) where it literally places that the woman not being interested in romance or finding a boyfriend to be a problem. Characters in the movie such as the protagonists best friend (usually another woman) and parents (Usually mother) insist that the protag NEEDS to find love and that her life will be miserable if she doesn't "have fun" and "Fall in love"

This is common for Aspecs, specifically aromantics, to hear. Any expression of disinterest in romance is often shot back at with "you haven't found the right person yet" "that's such a sad way to live" "You'll find the one at some point!" And this is only because of the importance that society puts onto romance and finding a partner. It becomes unbelievable to some that anyone could ever be happy without love in their life. This is textbook amatonormativity.

This idea also plays into Plot 1, which while more subtle, still pushes these ideas of everyone should want/look for love.

A common trope in Plot 1 that shows these ideals is the bad 1st boyfriend that the protagonist usually has before meeting the actual love interest for the movie. Usually the boyfriend is business oriented, doesn't do romantic things with the protagonist (usually stated as him being too busy and thus not caring or him actually not caring about romance), and usually will laugh/mock the idea of romance in general. This is seen as bad by the movies. This often reads similar to how aromantic people are treated for not caring about romance. They are positioned as bad partners for not following textbook ideas of romance. For focusing on other things over romance. They are seen as sad and miserable and "How could anyone live such a sad life?"

There's also this overlying theme in Plot 1 that the protags search for a fairy tale romance is inherently good and anyone disagreeing is inherently wrong and hates romance. Usually romance being the main priority is seen as right over other obligations. If the protag for example has to choose between the romantic plotline or some other obligation she's made, then choosing the second obligation is ALWAYS framed as the wrong answer. Usually the character will shame the protagonist for not choosing to go meet the male love interest or the love interest himself will be upset with the protagonist, placing more importance on the romantic plotline no matter how much more important logically the other obligation could be.

That's not even to mention the fact that no one in these movies ends up single. If a character is specifically mentioned to be single then there is a 99% chance that they WILL be paired up by the end of the film. If they are single by the end of the film it's likely that 1. They were not mentioned to be single or taken so their status is ambiguous at best.

2. They are constantly looking for love along with the protag, usually hinted to be falling in love/wll get with someone in the future by the end of the film

3. they are a child. Hallmark doesn't do anything romantic between children outside of maybe the off handed mention of a crush.

And yes, I know it can be a bit of an issue to complain about ROMANCE movies supporting amatonormativity, especially when these films have many other things wrong with them other than that. But also see: I had to watch these every fucking year with my mother and so as an angry aroace i think i can tear into them as a treat :)

I've probably missed some things and tbh this post is likely all over the place, I tried my best with my ADHD. If you also had to put up with these films feel free to leave your own analysis on them or make any additions/corrections. It's been at least a year since I've seen these films and I'm sure I've left things out + missed the new films which might change some things (Tho i doubt it. Hallmark has a formula that they stick to rigidly with these)

So yeah TL:DR Hallmark christmas movies are definitely full of amatonormativity and It's interesting to look at and tear apart the harmful ideas within the movies. Thanks for coming to my ted talk and whatnot lmao

[baya-ni]

Renga Shouldn’t Be Canon (clickbait)

No but seriously, I hope that Renga doesn’t become canon, at least not in the way that I think a lot of people are hoping that it will. Personally, I’m not expecting anything close to a kiss and confession and that’s fine by me.

Queerbaiting is a problem in mainstream media, there’s no doubt about it, and many people both within and outside the queer community are right to feel wary about hoping for that kind of representation. Personally, I’m still caught by surprise every time a queer person or couple is depicted in a normalized and healthy way onscreen. And that just speaks to the appallingly poor representation queer people are so used to seeing.

But I think that fandom likes to throw the word “queerbaiting” around a bit haphazardly, much in the same way faux woke people throw around words like “gaslighting” and “cancel culture”. They’ve become buzz words to evoke immediate feelings of self-righteousness and to prey on person’s fear of appearing ignorant or bigoted.

Unfortunately, I worry that when the season inevitably ends without Renga’s “canonization”, people will unfairly label Sk8 as Queerbait. And I have many Feelings about this- mostly frustration.

But we’re only mid-season. I can only guess where the show is going to go and only make assumptions about fandom behavior based on personal experience, and there’s a high possibility I’ll be proven totally wrong so... take whatever I say with a grain of salt. But anyway, let’s get on with it.

Fundamentally, Sk8 isn’t shoujo, it’s not BL- it’s a sports anime. And while that doesn’t preclude a total absence of romance between its characters, ultimately those aren’t the kinds of relationships that sports anime concerns itself with. The most prominent relationships you’ll see will be more along the lines of Teammates and Rivals (there's also a third dynamic I'm calling Opponents which is Not the same as Rivals but the Opponents dynamic is less relevant to my point so I'll focus on just the first two).

However, it's not hard to see why romantic interpretations are so common among fans of sports anime. At their core, the basis of Teammate and Rival dynamics bear many similarities to that of a compelling romance. Both Teammate and Rival relationships are built upon two characters' mutual admiration and respect for one another, they involve characters learning from one another and being inspired to push themselves to be their best. There's a great deal of trust involved, as is vulnerability, communication, and empathy. In other words, all the essentials of any healthy relationship.

But context and genre are important. I think that a good romance is one that is unique to its characters specific personalities and needs, as well as is believable within the context of the setting and story. For an anime like Sk8, I would find an on-screen kiss strange and out of place (unless it was done for comedic effect which would be... bad).

I'm reminded of this quote from Portrait of a Lady on Fire, which is one of my all time favorite films:

"Do all lovers feel as though they are inventing something? I know the gestures. I imagined them all waiting for you."

And that basically sums up what I've described, albeit more poetically. Love is invention. Romantic gestures form a unique language between lovers. And if I may add, genre and narrative establish the basis for the emotional significance of these gestures.

In a genre like action/thriller, one of the most meaningful things a character can do is risk their safety or straight up sacrifice themselves for another, because bodily harm and physical risks drive the tension in these kinds of narratives. In the romance genre, confessions, physical intimacy, and grand romantic displays serve the same purpose. In something like sports anime, I argue that its gestures like physically accommodating for your teammate, supporting them when they feel dejected, and being motivated to train harder and be better for the sake of being allowed to stand beside them, that hold equivalent significance.

But this is all broadly speaking, and genre is just one element. Characters’ personalities, habits, insecurities, and trauma, as well as a story’s themes, further specify the kinds of gestures that hold the most meaning in a narrative.

Let’s look again at Portrait of a Lady on Fire, on my favorite scenes:

Portrait is interested in subverting the power imbalance inherent between the Artist and the Muse, the Voyeur and the Subject, the Looker and she who is Looked At. Heloise’s observations of Marianne hold great significance because of this theme; she disrupts the power imbalance by taking back agency as the Subject, demonstrating that she is just as capable of Looking at the Artist just as the Artist does at her. This is visually represented by the framing of the final shot. With the camera pulled back, we now see Marianne as Heloise has been seeing her, and she is now subject to being visually scrutinized in the same way that Heloise has been up to this point in the film.

This scene is so poignant because the romantic gesture it depicts ties heavily to the story’s themes, its characters’ personalities, and its existence is believable within its genre.

Now, let’s bring this all back to Sk8. In this show, what sort of gestures are given the most significance?

Skateboarding. Duh.

Basically, this line establishes that “basis for emotional significance” that I mentioned earlier, such that skating is the means by which characters and relationships are developed and the plot is driven forward, that any and everything related to skating potentially holds symbolic meaning.

And specifically, equating the act of skating to love then allows for more romantic interpretations of all kinds of scenes. Take for example, these parallel sets of shots from ep 1:

(I mean cmon look at his tiny blush, it’s fucking adorable) And:

In a show that equates skating to a “ritual of love”, these scenes can be realistically be interpreted as Langa and Reki falling in love with one another. Skating acts as both the catalyst for their relationship as well as later on being the means by which they express their feelings and develop their relationship.

Skating is their love language.

Ok, I’ll try to wrap this up since this post has gotten wayyy too long. But basically my point is that Renga is about as canon as this show could possibly make it within the confines of its genre and narrative. Romance in sports anime is different from romance in shoujo, but it’s romance all the same, in the same way that different people express love in different ways.

A kiss and confession is not the only means by which a ship can become canon. And I personally would much rather have this kind of carefully crafted symbolism than a kiss just randomly shoehorned in.

But I understand that in the face of centuries of censorship, cop-outs, and barely believable and forced heteronormativity, people want same-sex intimacy onscreen, unapologetic and normalized. I get that.

But in my opinion, Sk8 isn’t queerbait, and it shouldn’t be accused as such just because its characters won’t kiss onscreen. I think this show depicts a wonderful and loving relationship between two boys, that isn’t any less loving just because it doesn’t fit into conventional romantic tropes.

Edit: I did a followup post about Sk8 and its queer representation here, where I go more in depth into the ways that Sk8 represents queerness through beyond its implied homo-romantic relationships.

So yeah, I’d love to hear yalls thoughts :)

[thinkingisadangerouspastime]

hi! i really like your posts and recently i came across some anti kataang arguments and i would like to see your opinion on that (if you want to answer because you must be very tired of answering those lol)

“i remember perfectly aang forcing himself into katara. not only once, but a lot of times. in that talk they were having during the play it was one of the moments aang was intrusive”

“i saw people saying that katara was jealous of aang with that kids in kyoshi island, which she obviously was not. she was annoyed at them”

“kataang had no development. it feels like a ship made out of nowhere”

“aang is completely obsessed with the idea of katara being his. proof is that episode were the guru tells him he has to let go of her and he choses to break the connection. it’s like: look what i did for you, you should stay with me. aang learning to let go would have been a evolution for his character”

“making them stay together in the end just because aang is the protagonist and has to stay with the girl is boring and adds nothing to the plot”

“he spend years after a girl that never felt the same for him”

hi anon! im very flattered you like my posts 🥰💛 and you’re not wrong that sometimes it gets a lil tiring addressing anti kataang arguments, but that’s because 90% of them are the same foolish rhetoric dressed up in a different costume, lol. i finally have some free time, so i’ll take a stab at these for you!

“i remember perfectly aang forcing himself into katara. not only once, but a lot of times. in that talk they were having during the play it was one of the moments aang was intrusive”

not gonna lie, this particular “argument” made me crack up laughing because they “remember perfectly… lots of times” but can only name one instance 😂 like i am on the floor, because trying to get away with that in a formal essay would earn them nothing more than a goose egg. you need evidence to support a claim, which this “claim” has none of. i mean,, when does aang force himself onto katara?? when katara initiates every cheek kiss they share?? when they are mutual participants in several shared hugs?? don’t get me started on DOBS - the Now or Never Kiss that falls under literally requires reciprocation from both parties, lol. but regarding the ever-so-infamous EIP episode they bring up:

This post talks specifically about EIP and the play’s portrayal of Aang and Katara (and how it cannot be used to define their relationship). This post explains the true source of Katara’s conflict in turning down Aang (i.e. the war itself and the risks the war presents for both of them) and why the EIP kiss did not “ruin” Kataang’s relationship. This post explains how the EIP kiss was resolved through narrative parallels. This post explains how the EIP kiss is so often blown out of proportion. This post explains how Aang did not “threaten” Katara in EIP (with some excellent commentary in the notes, too).

the fact of the matter is that yes, aang overstepped a boundary with katara there. no one has ever contested that because to do so would be to disregard canon, and here’s the thing about kataang shippers: we love atla canon. it gave us everything we wanted and more. (imo, that’s what anti kataangers don’t understand.) the EIP episode can be interpreted as a “low point” for many reasons, but the primary “takeaway” is that the play performed was imperialist propaganda that preyed on the gaang’s insecurities and demeaned them (much to the pleasure of the Fire Nation audience), which had negative consequences, one of which was aang kissing katara largely out of desperation. no one has ever excused that! thus, what i think isn’t clicking with anti kataangers is that aang and katara’s miscommunication in EIP is not a representation of their relationship being doomed to fail. aang made a mistake and immediately backed off without question or hesitation. katara has time to make her own decision and chooses to forgive him. doesn’t it strip more of katara’s agency away to conclude that katara could never ever ever forgive her best friend for a single mistake that - comparatively - could have been a whole lot worse?

(im just saying.)

“i saw people saying that katara was jealous of aang with that kids in kyoshi island, which she obviously was not. she was annoyed at them”

honestly, i have a question for whoever came up with this jfksjdasks. okay, yes, she was annoyed. that’s a given based on her exasperated eye rolls and sighs. but why was katara annoyed with them, hmm?

here’s my thing about katara’s feelings in this ep: jealousy and annoyance are not inherently the same, it’s true. a person can be annoyed without being jealous (obviously). as such, there are essentially two possible interpretations that have validity, although one in my opinion has greater weight in canon:

1. yes, it is possible to interpret katara’s annoyance that episode as being solely related to their delays on kyoshi island. one can reasonably argue that katara’s romantic feelings for aang were not as strong so early in the series (it’s only episode 4, after all, although lbr - she was Looking at aang’s tattoos in episode 1 lmao), and therefore the primary reason she was annoyed at the fangirls is because they were one of the causes extending their stay on the island when katara felt they needed to leave. it’s a fair interpretation.

2. a different and stronger interpretation, in my opinion, is that katara’s irritation was a product of both annoyance at their extended stay and jealousy of the fangirls’ obsession with aang. because here’s the thing about jealousy: it doesn’t have to be some extreme, exaggerated emotion/reaction! when katara gets jealous of on ji in book 3, she makes a single comment about aang and on ji dancing together. when aang gets jealous of jet in book 2 (because of sokka’s teasing), he, too, makes a single comment (i.e. that it would be a bad idea for katara to kiss jet). i bring these two moments up because they explicitly demonstrate within atla canon that reactions of jealousy do not have to be dramatique and outrageous, à la zuko throwing ruon-jian across the room in book 3, lmao. jealousy can be simple! kept to oneself! as such, katara’s disgruntled manner in that episode - which, might i add, is largely if not only shown in reaction to aang with the fangirls - can certainly be interpreted as a quieter form of jealousy akin to several other moments within canon.

more than that, however, if the writers did not at all want jealousy to be an interpretation on the table… why on earth would they have bothered to mention jealousy as a possibility? here’s the relevant excerpt from the episode transcript:

Koko: [Stomps her foot in annoyance and puts her hands on her hips, while another girl happily waves at Aang; irritated.] What’s taking you so long, Aangy?

Cut back to Aang and Katara; the former enthusiastically waves back at his awaiting fangirls, while the latter raises an eyebrow at the scene.

Katara: [Slightly mocking.] Aangy…

Aang: [Enthusiastically.] Just a second, Koko!

Katara: [Sarcastic.] “Simple monk,” huh? [Annoyed.] I thought you promised me that this Avatar stuff wouldn’t go to your head.

Aang: It didn’t. You know what I think? You just don’t want to come because you’re jealous.

Katara: [Close-up; angrily.] Jealous? [More high pitched voice.] Of what?

Cut to a broader shot. Aang moves back slightly, when an irritated Katara resumes to ferociously stuff the basket with more fruits.

Aang: Jealous that we’re having so much fun without you.

Katara: [Irritated.] That’s ridiculous.

(sidebar, but can i just say that seeing “ferociously stuff” to describe putting fruits away is arguably the funniest thing i’ve ever read sjkdhsjalks)

to me, this excerpt alone all but proves katara’s irritation is a mixture of annoyance at the girls’ (and aang’s) behavior/their delayed departure and jealousy regarding how the fangirls’ fawn over aang. katara clearly demonstrates frustration at aang’s seeming lack of concern for their time crunch and how he’s letting his status get to his head (and remember, y’all: this is very early book 1 aang, he’s barely begun to truly reconcile what it means to be the avatar and the last airbender, which is understandable and a-okay! can’t have growth if he doesn’t start somewhere!). that checks out. but next thing you know, katara’s reaction proceeds to dramatically heighten when aang teases the idea of jealousy to her. again: why include this moment if jealousy was never on the table whatsoever as an interpretation for her feelings of irritation? why make katara’s response intensify so strongly if she’s not jealous even a little bit?

in sum, while i don’t think katara’s aggravation is solely fueled by jealousy, the episode itself points to jealousy as at least a part of it. simple!

“kataang had no development. it feels like a ship made out of nowhere”

this take screams willful ignorance, like did they even watch the whole show?? it’s not worth addressing over and over, ngl.

This post and this post explain how Katara’s feelings for Aang develop throughout the series. This post explains how Aang consistently supported Katara throughout the series. This post demonstrates how Kataang is literally ingrained in every episode.

“aang is completely obsessed with the idea of katara being his. proof is that episode were [sic] the guru tells him he has to let go of her and he choses [sic] to break the connection. it’s like: look what i did for you, you should stay with me. aang learning to let go would have been a evolution for his character”

“completely obsessed” h e l p i weep for the lack of brain cells 😭 it is so hard to just say “kataang isn’t my cup of tea” and go?? seriously?? i thought we were past making stuff up to support shipping agendas. lord help us. real quick:

This post explains how Aang never acted like he was “entitled” to Katara’s affections. This post explains how Katara and Aang do not “idolize” each other. This post and this post talk about Aang’s chakra being blocked and unblocked, and how it had to do with fear, not attachment. This post talks about Aang and the Avatar State, explicitly discussing “The Crossroads of Destiny” and the notion of attachment/letting Katara go.

okay, let’s take this claim one sentence at a time:

“the guru tells him [aang] he has to let go of her [katara] and he choses [sic] to break the connection.”

first of all. FIRST OF ALL. can you imagine the hellfire that would have rained down if aang hadn’t chosen to go rescue katara? here is a piece of the episode transcript:

… Right before he is able to completely open the final chakra and master the Avatar State, however, he hears a shriek from Katara and sees a vision of her in chains. At this, he jumps out of the energy sphere and runs away from the Avatar Spirit. The energy bridge that leads him there slowly vanishes behind him until it catches up and falls from underneath him, causing his image to plummet toward Earth. This cuts his connection to the Avatar State, which forces him back to reality.

Aang: Katara’s in danger! I have to go! [Prepares to exit.]

Pathik: No, Aang! By choosing attachment, you have locked the chakra! If you leave now, you won’t be able to go into the Avatar State at all!

Aang hesitates but leaves anyway, leaving Pathik concerned and disappointed.

aang chose to leave because katara was in danger. if he had chosen to stay,, dear god. the vitriol that would have been thrown around. “aang doesn’t really love katara! he chose not to save her!” “aang is so selfish and greedy! he chose power over love!” it’s literally a catch-22. damned if he does leave, damned if he doesn’t leave. #fandomlogic

anyways, yes, sure, aang chose to leave, which at the time broke the connection. he was indeed in avatar state limbo for a Hot Minute. whoop de do.

“it’s like: look what i did for you, you should stay with me.”

logical fallacy: ad hominem, hasty generalization, ∴ not worth our time 💛

“aang learning to let go would have been a [sic] evolution for his character”

i have amazing news for those who perpetuate this take. aang did let her go! he would not have been able to enter the avatar state in COD if he hadn’t! point blank, it is utterly untrue to pretend aang did not “let go” of his attachment to katara. now, im not going to get into the concept of “attachment” here and what it truly meant for aang to have “let katara go” in the book 2 finale (if it was good, bad, etc. etc.). there is a lot of material to work with there that would require like,, an entire post to dig into, if not more. the fact of the matter is that aang did let katara go, and the proof is that he successfully entered the avatar state before azula killed him. the above claim thus sits in complete contradiction to canon and is a moot point.

“making them stay together in the end just because aang is the protagonist and has to stay with the girl is boring and adds nothing to the plot”

“making them stay together” again, is it so hard for someone to just say “kataang isn’t my thing, im gonna stick to fanon pairings, but y’all have fun” i mean that really, really does not seem so difficult to me! also, “making” is a hilarious word to use just because,, atla is a work of fiction. in that respect, the writers “made” everything happen. you cannot escape their sphere of control.

anyways. that’s just funny to me lmao

but no, aang and katara did not get together in a romantic fashion just because aang was the lead male protagonist and katara was the lead female protagonist. i refer back to these posts from earlier:

This post and this post explain how Katara’s feelings for Aang develop throughout the series. This post explains how Aang consistently supported Katara throughout the series. This post demonstrates how Kataang is literally ingrained in every episode.

aang and katara got together because their relationship had been developed since episode 1, duh. reducing their relationship to “lead guy + lead girl” completely disregards the legwork done and the foundation laid for their romantic partnership. like, all someone has to do is rewatch the show 😂 and i hate to break it to whoever created that take, but to say kataang “adds nothing to the plot” again ignores how their relationship is one of the two most important in the show (the other being aang and zuko’s relationship as narrative foils). it is not a cheap coincidence that kataang embodies multiple complementary themes/motifs of atla: push and pull, yin and yang, air and water, oma and shu, etc. etc. their relationship adds emotional depth! how is that not relevant to the plot! atla is a show where just about every relationship is important in some regard (this post touches upon how aang alone transforms all of his friends - think of the bigger picture, then, and how every other dynamic weaves in a crucial thread to create the beautiful tapestry we call atla!).

my point is that kataang is relevant to the plot the way every relationship in atla is, whether or not someone ships/enjoys them. you cannot have a good show without having intimate relationships (emotionally, i mean). can you imagine if someone said zuko and iroh’s relationship wasn’t relevant to the plot?? there is a reason it is such a powerful moment when iroh and zuko reunite in the finale. similarly, there is a reason yue’s sacrifice and sokka’s consequential (and lasting) grief is so poignant. there is a reason it is so heartbreaking when katara and sokka have to leave behind their father at the beginning of tsr. to tie back to kataang, there is a reason it is so hard to watch katara dismiss aang in that same episode. there is a reason so many people are moved when katara pulls aang out of the avatar state when appa is stolen. there is a reason emotional reactions are incited during atla and it is because these relationships are so important!! i don’t care if someone thinks kataang is “boring” - that’s their opinion, they have a right to it. but to insist their relationship wasn’t relevant to the plot? to the story? when in fact it was a key component from episode 1?

are you kidding me?

“he spend years after a girl that never felt the same for him”

“years” lol doesn’t atla take place over the course of a year at most? pretty sure this person didn’t even watch the show 😂 for a third time, i refer to these posts:

This post and this post explain how Katara’s feelings for Aang develop throughout the series. This post explains how Aang consistently supported Katara throughout the series. This post demonstrates how Kataang is literally ingrained in every episode.

i hope i addressed these (nonsensical) arguments to your satisfaction, anon! a lot of them are the same tried-and-failed anti kataang arguments, smh. not to incite new discourse lmao, but it’d be nice if there was at least some variety 😂 thank you again for your kind words, my friend! 💛

[dragonsarecats]

What are your top 3 paired endings for each of the three lords?

Oh my god!!! Okay, okay, okay...I love so many of the endings that I'm gonna cut Byleth endings from the books to give them a bigger chance.

Let's start with Edelgard! Lysithea is an obvious choice I think, even if I prefer her as a deer, it does manage to be a pretty healing ending for the both of them. Not only does Edelgard manage to reform the system that hurt her with Lysithea's help, but she manages to recover some of what she's lost (her life span) and is able to devote her life to the work that matters so much to her. I additionally really like her ending with Dorothea. I think it's exactly the sort of thing both of them need to enjoy living in this new world. Dorothea, a world where a commoner like her and wheedle harmless frivolities out of the emperor, and Edelgard, to live in a world where she can allow harmless frivolities to be out of her control. The genuine admiration they have for each other is really clear here. Last but not least...I'm a sucker for her ending with Hubert! Although Hubert states clearly that his feelings for Edelgard are romantic, I personally enjoy that the ending leaves it up in the air. They're life companions, and I don't need much more explanation then that. While I enjoy Edelgard's ability to keep being emperor in the previous two, I do think there is something special about Edelgard being able to place down her crown and her and Hubert retreating into private. They deserve a rest. My honorable mention for Edelgard is Bernadetta's. It's hilarious and I adore them. If I was choosing one of these three options in a play through (not considering the endings of any other characters) I'd probably choose Dorothea's.

Onto Dimitri! Similarly to Edelgard I gotta put the Vassal ending in my top three, lol. I think Dimitri's ending with Dedue is incredibly sweet and also, very Faergus lol. It really means a lot to me that Dimitri's true, great ambition is to ensure Dedue's home is properly restored. Cannot believe they were buried together it genuinely is heart wrenching. On a separate note--I think it's very interesting that many of Dimitri's endings discuss his death. Speaking of, Felix! I love Felix and Dimitri's relationship, it's very complicated in a lot of good and bad ways. The inherent homoeroticism in knowing someone so well you can see the worst of them and are openly disgusted with them and how they hide (they're nice to you?? why bother.) it and yet to still, without fail, follow them when the "monster" sees the light of day. Because you always knew it was there and chose to follow it anyway. Their relationship is super interesting; really shows Felix has an unconditional love for Dimitri that just fucking burns him up inside. Love that for them. Last but not least--Marianne! I'm not quite sure if she's a niche pick or not, but, I really enjoy the quiet happiness they bring to each other in this ending. Marianne and Dimitri as characters have a lot in common and I like the idea of them finding solace in each other. Of these three if I was choosing an ending... probably Dimitri and Dedue.

Time for Claude! Despite being a non-traditional vassal, her status as one sort of automatically puts her on this list. This one is mostly here because of their support chains rather then the ending itself, which is cheating, lol. I think it means a lot that Claude talks about his family openly with Hilda von Goneril of all people, and it similarly means a lot that Hilda would openly work hard in order to ensure that when she and Claude get married she would help foster good relations between their countries. She and Claude are incredibly close and it's great to see the lengths with which two characters which such deliberate personas openly go against them. After Hilda is Lysithea. I'll be honest, Lysithea just has so many good endings, everyone really would change their life completely for her and they're correct. I enjoy Claude and Lysithea's ending because of the way it shows a clear difference in Claude and Lysithea's respective devotion to one another verseus their devotion in other endings. Finally, and unsurprisingly, Lorenz. I've talked about it multiple times, but I really do think the fact that Claude and Lorenz's ending is so comprising yet uncompromising is so inherently romantic? The way the Alliance no longer exists but Lorenz is still, symbolically, taken over Claude's role as the Duke and is uncharacteristically looking towards foreign democracy? The way Claude unhesitatingly leaves Fodlan directly in Byleth and Lorenz's hands, placing half of his dream into them and trusting them to help him fulfill it? The way they aren't equals but finally are? God, I love them. If I was picking one of these endings to chose...probably Lorenz's, tbh. A lot of poetic satisfaction in it.

Anyways, as I typed this out I realized my top non-Byleth endings were all very distinct from one another in how it affected the Lord? Although Dimitri's do all end with him dying, whoops. It's more evident in Edelgard and Claude who, are by nature, more radical then their blue counterpart lol. When playing the game, though, I'd definitely romance all three Lords as Byleth.

[butwhatifidothis]

I also think that part of the reason why the church gets so much hate is because of how much general distrust there is in organized religion in real life. Like I went into Three Houses trying to keep an open mind and during White Clouds I really couldn't see what was so heinously wrong with the church even during the Lonato thing that made the institution so much worse than what Edelgard was inciting. I could be totally wrong but I was under the impression that Rhea didn't squash the insurrection because they were a part of the Western Church but because they were actively rebelling and, on top of that, Lonato was bringing civilians into the conflict. That, along with the fact that Rhea knows for an absolute fact that the goddess existed and that she herself is old as dirt (trauma included) makes her decisions make a lot of sense.

I'm playing through AM with my friend who's never played before and they IMMEDIATELY said they distrusted the church because Jeralt doesn't like Rhea (for understandable reasons but my friend also ignored his very sus behavior of not explaining literally anything to Byleth) and because organized religions must be inherently bad.

It’s something that’s heavily related to a player’s inability to separate the reality of their specific circumstances with those of the fiction they’re consuming. They implant their experiences onto things that are only somewhat related and then extrapolate “facts” about the fiction that are, many times, actively shut down and/or disproven by that fictions lore or story or plot.

And, like, it’s normal to relate fictional things to your personal stories if you see connections to them. I’d wager a good amount of people find some aspect of a character they like/love that sticks out to them specifically because of a similarity they share of some kind, whether big or small. I know of people who’s fave superhero is The Flash because The Flash is fast and they ran track and hey, that’s cool, a superhero who’s ability is running really fuckin’ fast and I wanna be really fuckin’ fast. To use myself as an example, I can relate to the struggles Claude specifically has with race because many of the things he says correlate very well to my personal experiences with race. So, going by that line of logic, the opposite is clearly going to happen as well; there are many villains, or characters of either or neither allegiance towards good and evil, who have traits that personally affect someone in a negative way.

But here’s the thing about that... Claude and I have similar experiences with race. He’s still a prince, and I’m still someone who’s never seen above the poverty line in terms of income. He’s never had to live off a box of Whoppers he happened to find under his bed for three days to hold off until the food stamps come in because there’s just no food and no money to get any food. And on the flip side, I’ve never had people try to kill me just cuz I’m mixed. I’ve never felt the pressure of having to lead thousands of people to safety or have them die, directly due to my inability to lead them well enough. We still have extremely different lives and I can acknowledge those differences when looking into his character, regardless of whatever connection I may have with him otherwise, and that’s where these people fail in terms of critically consuming 3H as a piece of media.

These people - understandably, to an extent - look at Rhea, this devout religious woman who heads a major religious institution, and they automatically connect the language she uses as a devout religious person to the negative experiences they personally had with religion... without acknowledging the differences between the two. They see Rhea and they don’t see a bisexual who surrounds herself with and gives shelter to former criminals, foreigners, and people in need of a home while asking for little in return - they see their local pastor, or some other religious leader/person, who’ve done them wrong, and thus Rhea hates gay people, she hates POC, she’s a zealot and unreasonable and she’s this terrible person with no redeeming qualities. And this isn’t me arm-chair psychology-ing these people - they poke fun at themselves about how much they let their personal experiences cloud their judgement of the game and its characters with bingo cards for liking Edelgard having “raised with religion” be one of the slots and things like that. 

And really, why else would “religious institution led by white-presenting race of people” be automatically turned into “racist, homophobic, misogynistic, and violent to any who aren’t their religion” when 1) one of the main characters - the one calling Rhea racist - himself eventually says that racial diversity fits well and snug in the Seiros faith, 2) not only is the leader and founder of the religion a bisexual woman, but no one says anything about having their love be confined to one specific gender anywhere, with heavily coded LGBT relationships like Shamir+Catherine and Dorothea+Petra being just as LGBT coded in SS - where Rhea can potentially come back as archbishop - as anywhere else - hell, when one of the most devout followers of Rhea clearly is romantically interested in her and faces no repercussions or consequences for openly being so despite being female herself, and 3) the Church only ever uses violence when either called from the outside for help or forced to when outside forces try to attack them? Why are we hearing all of these awful things about the Church when it sometimes is never even implied? 

It’s in large part due to religion being such a sensitive part of people’s lives that they are unable to disconnect their personal experiences with religion with the fictional religion the media they’re interacting with provides them. Rhea, as a devout religious leader, especially with how genuinely morally gray she is, was never going to land well over here in the west, double especially to an audience of people that very clearly are already inclined to ignore pieces of the game’s story, lore, plot, and character interactions to fit their own preferred version of what’s happening. Triple fuckin’ wombo-combo especially since the game itself fails to do Rhea any favors until the literal last second of two out of four routes and only shove in her directly admitting she was wrong in her actions in the hardest support chain to build up in the entire game, and even then only at the last part of it. Poor girly didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell

[beevean]

SEGA and its most recent Sonamy side – more canon than ever

[Translator’s note: this article was originally written in Spanish by @latin-dr-robotnik​]

Hello again! Today we’d like to discuss about something that’s been happening recently, and probably taking Sonic fans by surprise: what is going on with SEGA and its stance about Sonamy?

At the beginning of this year, to celebrate the 200 articles on Seaside Hill Paradise, I finished what I call “the Sonamy trilogy” of articles that I started in 2018 and which cover different themes, such as:

SEGA and the eternal issue of the Sonic-Amy dynamic

“I love you” – Forbidden words in Sonic

SEGA and the eternal issue of “Sonic’s girlfriend”

The idea was to offer a more-or-less complete analysis about the many facets of their dynamic in the last 27 years; a dynamic that, you may have noticed, is not that easy to pin down, and that we’ve been updating almost regularly (although I also intended to investigate on other dynamics, like Knuckles and Rouge’s for example, and write about them). Generally speaking, in these articles I don’t draw objective conclusions about the status of the ship in canon (despite the fact that the available information tends to confirm it in various occasions). I also like to repeat myself and say that shipping is supposed to be for fun, not for tearing each other’s hair in that black hole of misery that is Twitter, but recent events left us slightly perplexed, and this is why we’re here once again.

We left the status of the Sonamy canonicity with these two peculiar instances back in August: Sonic mentioning his “girlfriend” in the Japanese version of Sonic Battle, and the Twitter account of SEGA of Europe saying Sonamy is their “favorite videogame romance”. Now, let’s recap a bit…

Sonamy in Sonic IDW... Round 3

[SPOILERS ALERT FOR IDW SONIC #14-#35]

In 2018, when IDW just started, I decided to study a little how the Sonamy dynamic worked in this new universe. To our surprise, the comic didn’t waste time in dropping its biggest bomb, in one of the cutest scenes we had seen in ages. Since the very beginning, IDW proved that it didn’t intend to deceive those fans that looked for a bit of development of both characters.

I wrote an article about it in June 2019, and it coincided with the beginning of one of the most infamous arc I’ve seen in a Sonic comic for a long time: the Metal Virus Saga. The question is, what has happened since then?

Well, in 2019, with the same accuracy of an aimbot, I said “We’ll probably see some new interactions between Sonic and Amy sometime around IDW #20”. And wouldn’t you know, as misery and tragedy settled in that arc, it was exactly around IDW #20 that we saw some Sonamy interactions: both exhausted, to their limit, with a Sonic that couldn’t even touch Amy to soothe her pain, due to him being infected with the virus.

The arc developed like this in what felt like an eternity, to finally conclude in one the most absurd ways in Sonic history. But it wasn’t a complete disappointment, as, after months and months of asking and discussing on the internet about how much Sonic and Amy deserved a hug at the end of the arc… it actually happened.

Since that moment in IDW #32, we shippers thought that it was what both of them deserved after so much time spent separated and pushed to their limit to survive, but also that after the end of the arc everything would go back to normal. However, what we didn’t know was that the Sonamy train had no intention of stopping, not in IDW, nor anywhere else.

A recurring detail in IDW Sonic is that Amy’s tail starts wagging every time she sees Sonic, as if she was a happy dog. I swear, it happens every time.

Come IDW #35, once again we have some hugs and bits of dialogue between our hedgehogs. For sure, the question here isn’t their relationship itself, as it was for IDW #2, but rather the issues this arc is slowly dealing with. But it’s really nice to see them again, sharing that closeness that they’ve had in the comic since the beginning– be it with some gestures of affection, a wink, a gesture, a private joke.

My favorite image is the first one, Belle’s reaction to seeing Amy hugging Sonic. It’s like she’s thinking “oh, is she his girlfriend?”, and she wouldn’t even be wrong in thinking that.

It can’t be denied that IDW Sonic provided us the conversations and the emotions that the games seldom do. Certainly, the comic has its share of issues and it’s not really a story that I personally follow for its own merits (it’s more because it’s still Sonic, for my interest for things like this, and Belle’s existence… whom I already ship with Tails, sorry not sorry), but what it does well it does really well.

For now, we have to see how IDW Sonic will follow the development of the characters, especially in view of the closure of the current story and beyond. And we may be done with this part of the article, but there is still a lot left.

Sonamy in merchandise

Taking us completely by surprise, recently SEGA launched, in collaboration with Hot Topic, a series of Sonamy-themed t-shirts. No, seriously.

So many people told me this as soon as the voice spread (you know who you are, thank you guys for thinking about me <3), and I can’t help being still surprised that this is actually a thing. T-shirts with lines like “You’re my favorite”, “Love in the fast lane”, and my personal favorite, “S&A Forever”, with drawings of Classic Sonic and Amy… in SEGA-approved products. I don’t know if you realize how much of a big deal this is, even more than “Celebrate the 25 years of Sonic’s girlfriend” from 2018.

One of the things that surprised me the most (aside from how explicit they are in officializing the relationship, and the fact that there are still 2 months left before Valentine’s Day 2021), was the decision to use Classic Sonic and Classic Amy. I tried to understand this decision by analyzing the simplicity and easiness with which the Classic designs convey a message (let’s not forget that Classic Sonic was so iconic because it was specifically designed to convey his expressions without words), besides the fact that they’re inherently cuter than their modern designs. There’s also the controversial aspect of post-Adventure Sonamy, with all the dubbing and weird interpretations that the fandom made over the years… By comparison, the Classic design are a much simpler choice.

What is actually going on?

Well, let’s take a step back and think about what we just saw. The way SEGA has been recently trying to push Sonic and Amy in front view (and for the entirety of 2020, based on the articles I mentioned in the beginning) tells us the harsh truth we all have to accept sooner or later: Sonamy sells, and it sells a lot.

From a strictly business point of view, the ship is so iconic and popular, with fans and detractors alike, that it would be absurd for SEGA to ignore the chance to print these two characters and get a load of money. As I said in my 2018 article, despite the fact that in Japan Sonic isn’t as big of an icon as it is elsewhere, they know pretty well that Sonic + Amy = love, and they have huge amounts of merchandise to back it up. It’s in the West that because of different cultural values, of which we’ve already talked about, along with some internal resistance, left this aspect of the franchise a little on the side. But they’ve been trying to fix it… and how…

Let’s not forget that a decade and a half ago Sonic Team seriously favored Sonamy. They officially said it, Sonic X was their purest view of Sonic they had at the time.

Outside of the business perspective, I believe we’re facing the moment that we’ve been waiting for: it’s time they’ll establish once and for all the dynamic of these two characters, following more closely the original Japanese vision of Sonic. I said many times that, in trying to change canon, the West, especially SEGA of America, did nothing but confuse fans and generate more discussions than needed, by introducing different data and portrayals that contradict the canon established by Sonic Team.

We’ve talked about Unleashed and emotional support, about Sonic X, about the major moments that opened the door to interpreting this dynamic as something more. We don’t threaten at gunpoint those who would rather stay away, but we respond to those declarations that still try to violently discredit the simple fact that Sonic and Amy, who are most of all close friends, form in some measure a couple that, even with its imposed limitations, manages to captivate fans and not fans everywhere in the world. Even the Simpsons used it as a joke, and that says a lot.

What the future has in store for us.

Unless something else happens in this last month of 2020, this is the most complete compilation I can offer at the moment about the status of Sonamy in the fandom and in the official canon. Yes, canon.

It’s impossible to ignore the signals. As you may have noticed, I’ve been considering Sonic and Amy as an official couple, with its clarifications (for example, that at the end it’s more of a friendship, that it’s not a romantic relationship in the most explicit way, that it’s more of a personal perspective to justify a more mature vision of the relationship in the future, not right now), but nowadays I think that SEGA has spoken loud and clear. I think canon is ready to negotiate the idea that Sonic and Amy, apart from being excellent friends who would risk their lives for each other in a heartbeat, have something else on their hands (probably the other’s hand). This won’t automatically translate into a kiss, or a complete love declaration (although Sonic X came close…), or a commitment to a formal relationship like we know them in real life. SEGA canon affirms that Amy is “Sonic’s girlfriend” and nothing more. Outside of that detail, they still pretty much function as friends interacting with a little flirting here, and a little Sonic running away there. It’s the basis of their dynamic, now enhanced by the fact that SEGA is giving us a clearer message.

I think that this all may culminate in a game or an animated series, but I wouldn’t completely count on that. It is good to recognize how far the official position goes on this issue, but at the same time I want to reaffirm that there are things that are better left in the hands of the fandom, and in the meantime that IDW or any other continuity gives us hugs, winks, gestures and words of encouragement, we as the fandom will take care of exploring other avenues and hypothetical scenarios.

This is all I have to say on the matter for now, and I hope you’re happy with this wonderful Sonamy experience we’re going through – I certainly am. See you next time!

[tundrainafrica]

the fact that people refuse that levi and han had a bond (even if it’s not romantic) is insane imo... like there’s the parallels between different relationships? and when you point them out there’s always someone who will say “eww don’t compare xx with levihan”

for example? ymir and historia??? there’s so many similarities, wanting to live for themselves, wanting to be together, the fact that one of them had to leave to protect the other one and they never got to tell each other how they felt? but the bond was there? the tall, more energetic one that wants to protect and show the short, seemingly jaded one that not everything has to be hopeless? their friendship? there’s no power imbalance, just pure love, understanding. they really loved each other...

oh and the bird with one wing, it’s as if han couldn’t fly anymore without levi (but i may be looking too much into it) and then levi fell too ahhh poetic cinema 😩 we’ve been getting a lot of hate recently...

This is like way up in my asks but a lot of it has been bothering me. I’ve seen a lot of antis on twitter denying Hange and Levi’s bond because lmao apparently what has been going on in 126 and 132 aren’t enough to make something canon. 

But as a fan, regardless of what antis say, regardless of what other shippers say I will stand by this ship, rain or shine, and I will fucking scream ‘LEVIHAN IS CANON.’ 

It just doesn’t make any sense really? Like what do people need for something to be canon? A gaudy verbal declaration of love? Love letters? Kissing? Fucking? 

I don’t believe we need a declaration of love to deem something canon. Yes, people won’t agree but the fact that we have been called delusional? Levihans on twitter have been called delusional for seeing canon on this? I didn’t just look at Levihan and the scenes in 126 and 132 and go ‘YUP ITS CANON,’ I actually did have a slow burn towards this because I just thought the way I see Levihan in canon is pretty much how I appreciate a lot of the relationships in real life. 

A lot of people wait for declarations of love, kissing, fucking, embracing and making out. Yes, those are conventional ways to prove that maybe those two can be together. But those types of bullshit are only as valuable or as meaningful as the subtle domestic actions that follow. We’ve seen relationships we deem canon before, then suddenly the guy cheats on the girl or the girl hits the guy or vice versa, or they just alternate between make ups and break ups until they get tired. So what? Do they still love each other? Even after allowing themselves through go through all that shit? 

I’ve never been in a relationship like that? I wouldn’t know what runs through people’s heads when they go through those? Stockholm? Hope that maybe their toxic lover will change for the better? I don’t know so I won’t comment about this. 

But I sincerely believe there is more to analyze, there is more to appreciate and there is more to emulate in a relationship grounded in mutual trust, bonds, and a relationship that has proven the test of time and challenges (aka Levi and Hange)

I don’t believe in kisses, sex scenes or verbal declarations of love. Just because those are the socially accepted ways to ‘show that love exists.’ They are inherently flawed proofs and evidences that there exists a relationship between people. And maybe the fact that these proofs are what people wait for before they something is canon, maybe that’s the reason why it’s so hard for people to recognize that people can have bonds without it? Maybe that’s why people figuring out they love someone is so hard? Because they wait for the urge to kiss or the urge to have sex? Or the urge to write a long ass love letter?

But really love and the drive to enter a committed relationship are so much deeper than intimacy and verbal declarations. Intimacy and Verbal Declarations are only as valuable as the intentions and the implicit messages that accompany them. 

I’ve never been a words person, I’ve always been an actions person and maybe that’s why I never did keep a lot of the old love letters and the old gifts people have given me. I don’t want verbal declarations of love or commitment, I want actions. Words are easy. Intimacy is easy. If people really meant it, they would constantly strive to change for the better. If people really meant it, they would hold their breath and listen even when they were angry. If people really meant it, they’d listen to feedback and constantly try to open up. 

If people really meant it, they’d stay true to commitments, acknowledge mistakes and constantly reach out of their comfort zone to make an effort to constantly improve. 

You know where I see love? Giving up your daily routine to save some extra cash so you can drop it for a partner who’s in need? You know what’s love? Changing how you go about your life, actively changing your bad habits so you can constantly be a better partner to the person you committed to. You know what’s love? Staying by someone’s side, completely trusting them and trying at least to know them like the back of your hand? 

You know what’s love? Actively abandoning your post to save your dying friend. 

And some people might go… This is just a ship. No, because personally how I ship is how I view relationships in real life.

I do not admire relationships  for their ability to display affection in public or their ability to write long letters to their loved ones. I admire relationships for their openness. I admire relationships where couples are able to keep their problems behind closed doors because they trust each other so well they can resolve everything together. I admire relationships where couples are complete opposites yet somehow manage to make things work because you know they made the effort to adopt microchanges to their personality to make that relationship work. 

I have friends in real life who are actively in a relationship, say they genuinely love their partner yet break up and make up every week. They call their partners such vile names when they’re angry, they fucking hurt each other yet a declaration of love every week somehow makes it okay. 

I have friends whose only proof they were ever together with their partners were the fact that they lived together, maybe co-owned five cats. And when I talk to them about their partners, they know everything about their partner from the back of their hand. “She wouldn’t do that. She won’t wake up that early.” They know each others habits and despite how different they are, they adjust. They have never said anything wrong about their partner. They have never talked shit about their partners to me. Sometimes, they would talk to me when they’re concerned or when they’re emotional, but they have never called their partner asshole, bitch, fucker in the heat of the moment. I have never heard them wish ill of their partner. 

BUT THEY HAVE NEVER PLAYED VICTIM. (And holy crap the amount of relationships I’ve seen where someone is willingly able to rant and say such horrifying things behind their partner behind their back is fucking terrifying. And the way they pull a 180 in public and around their partner?? That’s a relationship???  I have seen friends call their partners cruel and abusive, only for me to find out through message receipts that they’re both assholes.)

And I will live my whole life, advocating for relationships grounded in mutual bonds and a strive to grow with their partner, whether or not they have expressed the societally acknowledged, conventional romantic connotations of love or not. 

In the end, love is love. And love is manifested not in the romantic declarations of love but in the trust, sacrifice, the effort to change for the better, the commitment to stay with the person and grow with them. 

Love is abandoning one’s comfort zones. Love is staying by someone’s side, supporting them through the thick and thin. Love is supporting one another, keeping the dynamic balanced yet constantly moving. 

Love is facing life together and making sure the person you committed to, never feels alone or unloved. 

Do not reduce love and relationships to kisses and hugs and declarations of love.

And for the people who say, “Chill this is just a ship...” I ship because I believe in the dynamic and I believe in the depth that is hidden underneath the dynamic that was shown in the big screen. It’s the reflection of what I see in relationships in real life and it’s the model of what I’d want to see in my own relationships. 

So yes, please let the Levihans enjoy things thank you. 

[jonsa101]

Max Goodwin and Randall Pearson: The Well-Meaning, Incredibly Self-Centered Leading Men We’ve Grown to Love.

Hey fam! Like I said, I’ve been writing a ton of meta lately and this is another one that’s just been sitting in my drafts. It’s basically a This Is Us and a New Amsterdam meta which is something I haven’t done before but something I want do more of. In my Game of Thrones days I used to write a lot of meta about shows and characters that had similarities so this is fun for me. I hope y’all enjoy this. ALSO THIS HAS SPOILERS FOR BOTH SHOWS!!!!!!!

Without a doubt the two most popular shows on NBC is This is Us and New Amsterdam. And what’s not to love? They’re both emotionally driven, heartfelt, shows that focus on incredibly deep and complex topics. Though one show focuses on family dynamics and the other focuses on the healthcare system, these shows are very similar in more ways than one. Case in point, Max Goodwin and Randall Pearson. The more I watch these two shows, the more I realize how these two characters are so alike!!! These two men are kind-hearted, well intentioned, individuals who genuinely want to make some sort of positive difference. They are incredibly ambitious and always have “bright ideas” and “goals” they want to accomplish and somehow they’re able to meet those goals without ever having to sacrifice their wants and needs. By every definition these men are the “main characters” or the ultimate “protagonists.” These are the folks that we are supposed to root for. At the same time, though these men have many traits to be admired, when you truly look at it both of them can be incredibly self centered and selfish especially when it pertains to their romantic partners and love interests. No matter how appealing you make these characters out to be these men clearly fall under the Behind Every Great Man trope.

The Behind Every Great Man trope has been used countless of times throughout Cinema and TV History that I’m sure that I don’t even have to explain it to you but for the sake of this meta this is how it’s defined.

“Behind Every Great Man...stands an even greater woman! Or in about a hundred variations is a Stock Phrase referring to how people rarely achieve greatness without support structures that go generally unappreciated, and said support structure is a traditionally female role via being the wife, mother, or sometimes another relation. This trope is specifically about a man who is credited with something important, but owes much of his success to the woman in his life.”

This trope usually has a negative connotation (and rightfully so) because the man who often benefits from this is an asshole and unworthy of this type of support!

For example:

Oliva and Fitz

Cristina Yang and Burke

Cookie and Lucious

Ghost and Tasha

There are countless others but these are a few of the couples that come to mind for me. Randall and Max aren’t comparable to any of these men that are listed above but they are still operating under the same trope. It just looks nicer because Max and Randall are inherently good and inspirational. They are the heroes of the story. I would even argue and say that both men fall under the Chronic Hero Syndrome trope which is defined as

“Chronic Hero Syndrome is an "affliction" of cleaner heroes where for them, every wrong within earshot must be righted, and everyone in need must be helped, preferably by Our Hero themself. While certainly admirable, this may have a few negative side-effects on the hero and those around them. Such heroes could wear themselves out in their attempts to help everyone or become distraught and blame themselves for the one time that they're unable to save the day. Spending so much time and effort saving everyone else can also put a strain on the hero's personal or dating life.”

Just because Max and Randall have these incredibly inspiring aspirations, is it fair that their wives and love interests are always expected to rise to the occasion and support them. Is it ok for their partners to continuously sacrifice their wants and needs because they love these men? 

Let’s dive into it. 

Truth be told, Beth Pearson, Helen Sharpe and Georgia Goodwin had to endure a GREAT DEAL to emotionally support the dreams and aspirations of these men while sacrificing so much of themselves in the process. In media we often see women sacrificing so much of their wants and needs out of love for these male leads and rarely do men do the same thing for their romantic partners and love interests. All three of these women clearly fall under the Act of True Love trope defined as

“The Act of True Love proves beyond doubt that you are ready to put your loved one's interests before your own, that you are truly loyal and devoted to them. Usually this involves a sacrifice on your part, at the very least a considerable effort and/or a great risk. The action must be motivated, not by morals or principle or expectation of future reward, but by sheer personal affection.When your beloved is in dire need of your help, or in great danger, and you do something, at great expense to yourself, for the sake of their safety, their welfare, or their happiness, thus proving beyond any doubt that you put their interest ahead of yours.”

Over the past few seasons we have seen all three of these women truly live up to this trope without any true consequences or accountability from the men they’re making all these sacrifices for. For example, in Beth and Randall’s marriage, how many times did Randall spring an idea on Beth without truly talking to her or considering her wants first? Everyone thinks these two are an ideal couple but she has endured A LOT for Randall.

Randall has spontaneously quit his job, moved his dying biological dad into their home, bought his biological dad’s old apartment building, fostered and adopted a child and also ran for city councilman outside of his district. In all of these decisions, Randall “consulted” Beth about it but at the same time didn’t really consult her. In a way there has always been this expectation of Beth to just go along for the ride with what Randall wants. Is anyone else exhausted from reading that list?! That’s a lot for partner to endure and lovingly support. But Beth has endured and has been Randall’s rock through it all!!! What worries me is that the one time Beth spoke out about her wants and needs of pursuing dance again, he couldn’t match the same energy she was giving him and eventually it led to world war three between them. Though things are looking up in their relationship  and he’s starting to support her more, has Randall nearly given to Beth as much as she’s given to him? Absolutely not!

Similar to Randall, Max also had a wife who was a dancer. in fact, she was a prima ballerina. Unlike Randall and Beth, Max relationship with Georgia was rocky from the start. When we were first introduced to them Max and Georgia were separated and rightfully so. Georgia was never Max’s first priority. The hospital always came first in their relationship. He couldn’t even dedicate a full night to her for their proposal. In order to “save” their marriage they decide to have a baby and they both committed to taking a step back in their careers in order to do so. The problem was Max didn’t keep his side of their commitment and took a job to become the medical director at the biggest public hospital in the U.S. She gave up her career to start a family and he totally and completely betrayed her trust. So throughout season one we see them trying to rebuild their marriage but even in the midst of trying to rebuild a marriage based on trust and mutual respect Max still keeps things from Georgia. For several episodes he didn’t tell her that he had advance stages of throat cancer. He only told her when Georgia asked him to move back home. That’s fucked up! Then throughout their pregnancy he was never fully there for Georgia because he was either to preoccupied with the hospital or himself. At the end of it all, Georgia died tragically at the beginning of season two and really had nothing to show for it in her relationship with Max other than her daughter Luna.

Now let’s bring Helen Sharpe into the fold. While all of this stuff was going on with Max and his wife in season one, Max was developing a deep friendship, borderline emotional affair with Helen. Their relationship started out with Helen being his oncologist. As the new Medical Director of New Amsterdam, he swore Helen to secrecy about his diagnosis so that he could still run the hospital. Through that secrecy they eventually formed a deep bond but as his cancer got worse his secret was let out of the bag. He realistically needed someone to step up and run the hospital when he was going through chemo and though Helen already had commitments she stepped up and became his deputy medical director. Somewhere along the lines Max and Helen started developing feelings for each other. As Helen becomes aware of those feelings, she made a choice and decides to remove herself as Max’s doctor. He BITCHES about it but eventually accepts the boundary she’s clearly trying to set. Mind you, as this is unfolding, like Max, Helen is also in a new relationship with her boyfriend Panthaki. As Max’s cancer seems to be getting worse with his new doctor, she goes back on her boundary and decides to be his doctor again. This pisses her boyfriend off because he could already peep the vibe between them and he breaks up with her. When we get into season two, Max’s wife died and Helen set him up in a clinical trail (with a doctor she previously fired) that’s helping his cancer.  Unbeknownst to Max, this doctor ends up holding his life saving treatment plan over Helen’s head and in order for his treatment to continue she gives this doctor half of her department!

Helen has sacrificed a lot for Max and now in season three she’s finally prioritizing her current wants and needs first! Like Randall, Max is starting to turn a page and is starting to support Helen and truly listen to the wants and needs that she has. All of this is good but my question is did any of these women have to sacrifice so much for the men in their lives to get a clue?

Why is it that this is a trope we see in media time and time and time again? Even if these men are good, why don’t we still keep these male characters accountable when they put their significant others in these situations that are clearly not fair? I’ve watched countless tv shows and I’ve seen a lot of tv couples but I think I have only come across one couple where the male counterpart has selflessly loved his significant other and has always put her needs above his own. 

That character my friend is none other than PACEY WITTER

I might be mistaken but I think Joey and Pacey are the most popular ship in tv history and honestly, rightfully so! This is only example I can think of where the male in the relationship so willingly puts the wants and needs of his partner first. It is a completely selfless and sacrificial love. He never wants to hold her back and he never asks her to compromise her wants or needs for him. That’s why I think so many women love Pacey because in a sea of TV relationships, Pacey Witter is a fucking unicorn.

So to wrap this up does this mean that I hate Randall Pearson or Max Goodwin? No! I adore them. I love both of their characters so much. I just think that when we see the media continuously play out the sacrificial wife/love interest for the sake of their male counterparts, it should be called out. I’m all about sacrificial and selfless love but it should come from both sides.❤️❤️❤️

Anyway I hope y’all enjoy this! As always my DMs are opening here or on Twitter @oyindaodewale

[queerlyraging]

I am affected.

“being aromantic doesn’t affect you”

I’m in elementary school. I’m an avid reader, always have been and always will be. My favorite books are the ones with lots of action, and fantasy, and different worlds full of different lives and different people. Whenever the characters fall in love I roll my eyes and turn the page. I don’t understand how they have time to fall in love when there’s a war going on.

I only like the historical and realistic fiction books without any romantic based plot. I love the Little House on the Prairie books, even if Laura does get married later. I care more about the lifestyle than anything, about learning how the prairie children live.

I finally get permission to read teenager books. They seem so mature and amazing and developed compared to the children books, but they have so much romance in them. What happened to preserving family bonds and forging strong friendships? I roll my eyes through slow kisses and huff at the silent pining for someone they can’t have. It seems so ridiculous.

My favorite pairs are shipped, but I never see how they could be in love. I never really have an OTP, but I treasure my BROTP’s and collect their friendships and sibling bonds quietly. I try and explain how I feel about the shipping to my friends, but they don’t seem to understand, so I give up and quietly listen to their talk of how much the characters love one another, defeated by the overpowering majority who scream about romantic love.

I don’t hate the ships, I just like the friendships better. I seem to be the only one who feels this way. I am isolated. 

“being aromantic doesn’t affect you”

I’m in elementary school. I really want to be friends with this boy. He is smart, he is funny, he plays sports, and we seem like we would be good friends. Most of all, he reminds me of my last best friend, before I had to move. But I am awkward, and easily influenced. My friends tell me I must like him. I don’t know how to deny it, so I agree and follow their advice.

I think it’s stupid, but maybe I do like him. Maybe that’s how all this works.

Our friendship is ruined. He doesn’t like me anymore, friend or otherwise.

“being aromantic doesn’t affect you”

I’m in middle school. Everyone around me talks about who they like, and why they like them. I think that I also like people - surely, liking someone means you really want to be friends, right? I ask. I’m laughed at. I choose a boy in my grade to like.

When I get older, I’ll like people, I decide. I’m just not old enough. For now, I’ll hide behind being unable to date until I’m older, and for now I’ll choose someone who checks all the boxes my friends seem to talk about. To me, it just sounds like what people want in a best friend, except they’re supposed to be cute.

I make a list of qualities, find a new boy every year in my classes. I choose someone I probably won’t see the next year, and am never very disappointed when I don’t have a class with them the next school year. I wonder if everyone does this.

The ‘crush’ of the year tells me he’s moving states after I tell him I like him. I’m relieved, instead of sad. All my friends comfort me, but I don’t really care. They find this odd, so I don’t talk too much about it. I hate feeling isolated.

“being aromantic doesn’t affect you”

I’m in high school. I’ve been a silent observer of the LGBTQ+ community since elementary school. For a long time, I wonder if I’m anything besides what society considers ‘normal’, if any of the identities apply to me. I wonder if how I feel is how everyone feels. No matter what I do, I feel different than everyone else about love, because I’m so indifferent to it.

I discover the asexual community first, and then I find the aromantic community. I’m surprised by how much I relate to it, but I’m also scared. This can’t be me, because then I wouldn’t be able to have the life I’ve always wanted.

Perfect family. Perfect husband. Perfect job. Perfect life.

I deny it. I tell myself I don’t actually relate, I just want to be different. I’m just caught up in a trend. I can’t aromantic, no matter how much I relate. I hate how I feel. I just want to be like everyone else. Why can’t I be like everyone else?

“being aromantic doesn’t affect you”

I’m in high school. All my friends are in relationships. I don’t really understand, but I try my best to be supportive. At the beginning of my sophomore year, my best friend tells me he likes me, and has liked me for awhile. I ask my big sister what I should do. Do I like him back? For the first time, I ask what romance feels like.

She tells me it’s like being best friends, but there’s just a little more. I wonder what that little more feels like.

We begin to date, and I’m uncomfortable. He’s my best friend. Nothing is different, except we hold hands, yet the concept of dating someone… it feels wrong.

I finally accept it. I’m aromantic, and that’s okay. We break up. We’re still best friends, and he still likes me. I am okay.

“being aromantic doesn’t affect you”

I’m in high school. I tell my friends that I’m aromantic. Each time I come out, it’s a new vocabulary lesson. It’s exhausting to find metaphors and explanations and definitions that they understand.

One of my friends told me she thinks it’s sad that I don’t feel romantic love. I’m too shocked to respond. She doesn’t even try to understand, and I’m hurt by her words. I am perfectly fine without romance - why can’t she see that?

I can’t tell one of my friends. I think he likes me and I don’t think he would understand, because he says things that feel wrong. I find out he’s a Trump supporter and quietly break off our friendship. I can never be too careful.

One of my friends says that I’ll find someone who makes me love. He thinks it’s just a joke, but I am hurt. None of my friends understand why I am mad. He means well, but it’s like he’s forgotten who I am.

I can’t tell my family, except for my big sister, but she’s far away right now. They wouldn’t understand, they would tell me I don’t know what I’m feeling. My little sister would try and remind me of every fake crush I had. My parents would tell me I haven’t found the right person yet.

"BEING AROMANTIC DOESN’T AFFECT YOU”

I’m in high school. I finally get to tell my big sister that I’m aromantic. I wanted to do it in person, and I’m not worried that she won’t accept me. After all, she’s LGBTQ+ too and the only ally I can have in my house, because I can’t trust anyone else not to shame me.

I tell her everything. She’s pokerfaced. Later that night, I hear her laughing through my bedroom walls. When I pass her door I hear what she is saying to her friend on call. She is making fun of me. 

She doesn’t think I can be aromantic, since I’m so young.

She thinks it’s an excuse, since I don’t want to date my best friend.

She says she felt the same way, and that I’ll find someone like her.

She’s laughing at my identity.

I’m heartbroken, betrayed, anguished. In my bedroom that night, I sob for an hour, spiraling, hating myself more and more. She was supposed to be my ally in the house, she was supposed to support me, but instead she laughed behind my back.

The next day, I can’t look her in the eye.

“BEING AROMANTIC DOESN’T AFFECT YOU”

I’m in high school. My best friend still likes me, and we’re still only best friends, because he knows that we can never be together. Sometimes it can be awkward, but mostly we avoid the topic. A month after we break up, he tells me we can’t be best friends anymore, because he needs to get over his feelings for me.

I go to my queer friend group and cry for ten minutes before my two hardest finals, because they’re the only ones who might understand. This is worse than when we broke up, because then it was mutual and now it is another rug swept from under my feet, another friend lost because of my identity.

He doesn’t understand why I am hurt, and I am too exhausted to put it into words. My friendships matter so much to me, but my friends don’t seem to always understand. 

I tell him to leave me alone. I need to process this by myself. He tells me that we can still be friends. I tell him to leave me alone. He finally understands how much I’m hurt, after I try to explain. I tell him to leave me alone. He tries to comfort me, and I ignore him. After all, he isn’t my best friend anymore, because he likes me and I can’t like him back, and this is just another friendship ruined.

I am affected.

I was in elementary school. I was a kid. I didn’t understand. I felt isolated and different because because nobody understood I didn’t have a crush. 

I was in middle school. I was a tween. I didn’t understand. I felt isolated and lost and confused because nobody seemed to feel the same way as I did.

I’m in high school. I’m a teenager. I don’t understand. I feel isolated and different and lost and confused and angry and hurt because nobody gives me representation and I’ve lost so many friendships because I finally have an identity I’m at peace with.

I’m going to be in college. I’m going to be an adult. I don’t think I will understand. I don’t know how I will feel because the future is uncertain and maybe one day nobody will need a vocabulary lesson every time I say I’m aromantic.

I hate the world for erasing who I am, for enforcing a narrative where I don’t exist. I hate that people tell me that since I can pass for straight, being aromantic doesn’t matter. I hate that people tell me they pity me because I can’t feel romantic love. I hate that I’m never represented. I hate that my potential representation only becomes discourse.

I hope for a future where romantic love is not the only narrative. I hope for a future where my affection with my friends is not seen as inherently romantic. I hope for a future where society acknowledges I exist and doesn’t ridicule my feelings and identity. I hope for a future where I can find canon representation and not have to guess. I hope for a future where I am accepted by those not exactly like me.

I hope I don’t hope for too much.