#she has errands but that is a okay i love her and have nowhere to be AND am getting a ride. so.

[indiegame]

best coworker is giving me a ride home. bless.

[paarksunghoon]

grocery store receipts (sunghoon)

SUMMARY: your hot neighbor seems to have everything you don’t: charm, confidence, and a sense of direction in life. you’ve managed to keep to yourself in the time you’ve lived across from his apartment but the holiday season brings brings out unresolved feelings, and you find that the best present of all has always been standing right in front of you.

WORD COUNT: 31.5K.

PLAYLIST: I ended up making one for this fic

NOTES: consider this a love letter to sunghoon. this story had three plots before it became what it is right now. I’m not somebody who generally enjoys the holidays but wish I could be, so this is a bit of a diary entry, of sorts. (me to me: it’s really not that serious.)

and thanks to @moonstruck-muses for being the best person I know…I love who I am when I’m with you and I’m so grateful that you ended up tagging along to oomf’s house all those months ago. kinda hilarious that I knew you’d be a jake girl before you did, but I think that sums up the kind of friendship we have. 🩷

WARNINGS: fluff & angst, mentions of poor childhoods and bad parental relationships, a whole lot of Christmas talk, smut in the form of: dry humping, oral (f. receiving), missionary, sunghoon’s kinda obsessed with her chest, multiple orgasms, fingering. unprotected sex, creampie, and typos, probably.

MASTERLIST

****

“Did you bring the sweater?”

Jake holds up a large white paper bag and pulls out the fabric, pushing the decorative detail in your direction. “Boom. You’ll win the ugly sweater competition, no doubt.”

“It’s not a contest.” You take the bag from him and Jake beams at you with that boyish smile he has when he gets excited about something. You feel a bit soft that he’s excited for you. “But thank you for letting me borrow it.” 

Heeseung grabs the sweater and holds it up in front of him. “This…is something else. Why do you have it in the first place?”

“It’s got a disco dance floor with breakdancing gingerbread men,” Jake deadpans. “It’s snowing inside the club. Why wouldn’t I buy it?”

Jay laughs. “He saw it at a thrift store last Christmas and bought it on a whim. I don’t think he’s worn it, so it’s good that you’re taking it off his hands.”

“I still want it back even if I have nowhere to wear it to.” 

You bump Jake’s hip. “You could always wear it to run errands.” 

He makes a face. “I’m not that crazy.” 

Heeseung folds the sweater and puts it back in the bag before handing it off to you for safekeeping when all four of you walk deeper into the bar. It’s cold outside. It’s the kind of weather that has you layered up in a scarf and a large peacoat that shields you from the chilly bite of the air. Summer has long passed and spring isn’t for another few months, and the joy you feel from the temperature dropping echoes within the warm bar you find yourself in. The juxtaposition of snowy air met with a warm furnace feels comforting in all of the right ways.

You offer to get a table and hum in appreciation with Jay and Jake volunteer to split the first round. They know your order on a weekday evening—whiskey sour—because you don’t like to go overboard when you have to wake up early the next morning. Heeseung slides into the booth beside you and nudges your shoulder.

“Are you still interested in the Marketing Lead position? I heard Kang Eunji’s transferring to the Tokyo office and that the company is looking to hire internally.”

“Now how would you know that, Lee Heeseung?” He shrugs with an uptick to the corner of his mouth.

“I have my ways.”

“Did you, by any chance, flirt with our floor’s secretary to get this information?” 

Heeseung’s cheeks reddens. “It’s not my fault that she’s into me, okay?! I’ve turned her down plenty of times because I don’t do workplace relationships, but I’ll make an exception if that means helping my best friend get promoted.”

“Poor girl. She probably thinks you’re stringing her along.” Heeseung rolls his eyes.

“I’m doing nothing of that sort. I just smiled at her, complimented her dress, and asked if the rumors about Eunji leaving were true.” 

“You walk through life getting everything you want handed to you, huh?” Heeseung smiles innocently but the two of you end up sharing a laugh. 

“I’m serious, though. I don’t know how much I can help since everybody in the office knows we’re close. They’ll definitely think I bias you over other candidates.”

“Don’t you?” 

“Well yeah, but let’s consider there are a few other people whose words matter more than mine.” 

“That is awfully nice of you. I’m a little concerned that you might have something up your sleeve but I appreciate you.” 

He laughs. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you have a good Christmas.” The boyish smile he wears makes you feel tender but you push against him anyway.

“You’re a little scary when you’re nice to me.” 

“What? I can’t be nice to the girl who spilled hot coffee down my shirt the first time we met?”

You mumble. “I’m clumsy.”

“Are we talking about you being an absolute klutz?” Jay puts your drink in front of you. “If so, do you remember the time we were playing tennis in my backyard and you tripped over grass?”

“Okay, okay! I get it. I have terrible coordination and fine motor skills.” You hide your smile behind the glass and thank them for the drink before Jake speaks up.

“You’ll have to send me a picture of you in the sweater. I want to put it up in my fridge, or something. What’s it for anyway?”

“The company Heeseung and I work at hosts spirit month every holiday season,” you explain. “Every Friday is casual dress day, but starting in the first week of November, there’s a holiday theme and I think it’s fun to dress up.”

“I’m surprised at how many people do it,” Heeseung chimes in.

“I’m sure we can find one day that works for you.”

“I’ll only consider dressing up if you can make it look tasteful.”

“Please just dress up once,” you beg. “You can wait until it gets close to Christmas. Besides, you’d look good in some of the categories.”

“What are the themes?” Jay asks.

“Next week is Winter Wonderland and the week after that is Red Day. I’m pretty sure there’s a Pajama Day somewhere.”

“Well, I might show up to the office in sweats.”

“That’s the spirit!”

“I wish my job did something fun.” Jake pouts behind his beer. “I’m in a lab all day so even if I wore something festive, it’s covered by a white coat.”

Jay laughs. “You act like being able to wear a white coat is a bad thing.”

“It is when you can’t see break dancing gingerbread men.”  

“Have you guys started Christmas shopping?” Heeseung stares at the drink in his hand as if a lightbulb hangs over his head. “All this holiday talk made me realize I haven’t started thinking about what to get my friends and family. I have absolutely no idea what to get you guys.”

“You could get me a free week at your client’s fancy hotel.” Heeseung looks at Jay and deadpans, whereas the younger boy laughs.

“I’d get myself a weekend vacation before I give it to you.” He sighs. “It would be fun if all four of us could go on a vacation away from Seoul, though. No worries, no work, and no responsibilities.”

“The lab’s slowing down and I’ve made a list of people I need to give gifts to.” Jake pulls his phone out and shows everybody the note on his phone, aptly titled ‘CHRISTMAS PRESENTS FOR THE HOMIES.’ You try to see what he’s put beside your name but he pulls his phone away faster than you can read.

Jay looks at you. “I’ll bet you've been prepared since summer.”

“I’m only put together when it comes to the holidays, Jay.”

“Does that mean you have most of your gifts wrapped?” 

You nod proudly. “You know me too well.”

“I want to know what you got me.” 

“Nope, no guessing.”

“I don’t think you can beat last year’s gift for him,” Jake snickers. “Poor Jay almost had a heart attack when you were able to get his guitar signed by Hisashi Tonomura since you worked with him for a campaign.” 

“That was tricky because I didn’t know how to ask for your guitar without tipping you off.”

“I knew you wanting to learn how to play was a bullshit excuse,” Jay says with a laugh. “But looking back at it now, that really was a great gift.” 

Heeseung raises his eyebrows at you suggestively. “Are you getting anything for your cute next door neighbor?” You aren’t tipsy by any means, but the mere mention of the hot guy who lives across the hall from your apartment makes your cheeks feel warm. The guys laugh when you look away from them and you hear their laughter ringing in your ears as you try to maintain your shyness.

“No, Heeseung. It would be weird of me to get a gift for someone I barely know.”

“Maybe you should!” Jake nudges your knee with the tip of his shoe. “You guys could fall in love for all anybody knows.” 

You smile weakly. “I’m too scared to talk to him. He’s so…hot.” 

Jay snorts. “So you tell us.” 

Your neighbor, who you and the guys have dubbed ‘The Stranger,’ moved into your building nearly a year ago. In that time, you haven’t mustered up the courage to say anything to him. You keep it at awkward eye contact when you see him leaving or arriving at the same time and begin daydreaming the minute you lock your door behind you. His dark hair, striking brown eyes, and pouty lips is enough to make him the subject of your waking thoughts. 

Your friends seem to overestimate your confidence and encourage you to talk to The Stranger, but your resolve crumbles every time you make eye contact with him. Surely a man like that belongs only in fairy tale books or those cliché romance novels middle-aged women seem to like so much. He’s always impeccably dressed with fitted clothing and a clean face that never seems to have blemishes. He must be well off because you recognize name brands adorning his chiseled body.

His demeanor intimidates you too. The Stranger always stands with his chin parallel to the floor and walks with his shoulder held back as if invisible books were stacked on top of his head. The way he carries himself makes you think he’s confident and it intimidates you because you’re anything but. The Stranger is always polite, acknowledging you if he happens to see you around your shared hallway, but he remains aloof with barely a glance before disappearing. He is every bit tall, dark, and handsome, and you’re a little too unsure of yourself to ever make the first move. 

Heeseung, your closest friend since you moved to Seoul, always tells you there’s nothing to fear and that rejection isn’t the end of the world. You try to take his advice but Heeseung is the type of person who never has never had to worry about rejection because people are lining up the doors for him. He’s got a charming personality that almost certainly helped secure his promotion at the company you two work. He’s also got enough charisma and good looks to hook women in. Heeseung doesn’t have to lift a finger to get anybody to pay attention to him. Besides, you’d rather live in this yearning stage of your life than face the awkwardness of seeing him after he rejects you. 

(“If he rejects you,” you hear Heeseung’s voice say in the back of your mind.)

It’s the same for Jay and Jake, too. They’re both incredibly handsome and know their way around people, even if they’re a bit shy at times. Jake especially, who has a clear accent in the way he speaks, can easily make friends with anybody at the mere mention of the way he speaks. Jay attracts people left and right because of his chiseled jawline and the fact that he’s musically gifted, and people stay because he’s incredibly compassionate and attentive.

You love your friends because they’re wonderful people who always seem to know how you’re feeling and what you’re thinking before you can tell them. But you’re a little bit envious that the world seems to work out for them without doing too much. You find that your experiences have the opposite outcome and you’ve had your fair share of rejection stories across every aspect of your life. All of your insecurities have been with you from childhood until now, and trying to be the bigger person is becoming harder every single day. It’s probably what keeps you from doing anything but approach the attractive man that lives across from you. The Stranger is simply somebody too beautiful and you aren’t sure if you’re worthy enough to be somebody he can look at. 

“He’s hot and single.” Heeseung puts his hand on his chin. “Doesn’t seem like a problem to me.” 

“We don’t know that he’s single.”

“I wish I knew what he looked like.” Jake pouts at his beer. “Who doesn’t have an Instagram or social media?” 

“You’re one to talk. You barely post on Instagram and every picture you have is outdated. I’m pretty sure the only person who cares enough is Jay.” 

The aforementioned speaks next. “Has he ever brought girls home before?” 

You shrug. “I don’t think so?” 

“There you have it. He’s single, hot, and you should make a move on him! You never know what’ll happen.” 

“Can we drop it?” you ask, starting to feel a bit restless where you sit. “It’ll happen if it’s meant to happen.” Jake sits back and tries to hide his sulk, although you know he only wants the best for you so you try not to feel annoyed. 

“Are any of you going home for the holidays?” Jay asks to break the silence. 

“Probably not,” Heeseung replies. “My family wanted to go somewhere tropical and spending time in the heat doesn’t sound too good to me. I’ll probably see them when they get back and make a weekend out of it.” 

“Same here.” Jake finishes off the rest of his beer. “My brother’s coming from Brisbane and my parents are spending it back home, but we agreed to meet up next year since they visited Seoul a few months back. You?”

“Staying here because my extended family will be here for a week or so. I’ve got some family obligations but they told me to take it easy now that I’m living on my own.” 

“Sounds like you guys will be bothering each other even more now, huh?”

Jay laughs. “Yeah, I guess so. What about you? Are you going back home this year?” 

You look down at your hands. “I don’t know yet. My mom keeps asking if she should expect me to come home but I’ve put off making that decision for a long time. It’s just hard, you know? After dealing with my dad and everything that went down a few years ago…I don’t know if I’m ready to go back.” 

Her voice lingers in the back of your head the more you think about it. You don’t talk to her often and leave phone calls with her around two to three times a week. She sends you Instagram reels she thinks are funny and you do your best to laugh at them too. But the reality is that talking to her about the holidays reminds you of everything you’re running away from. 

It’s been four years since you moved for a fresh start after university. Seoul used to be so big and enticing compared to the small fishing town you hail from. The streets smell like delicious savory and sweet goods instead of the raw stench of live bait and wet creatures. The lights that illuminate the night sky due to the gargantuan billboards make you feel like this city never truly sleeps because the next adventure is at arm’s length. It’s what you’ve craved for so long and now that you have it, going back to your neighborhood is starting to make you feel guilty for achieving one of your dreams and leaving everything behind. 

Your friends seem to know what’s running through your head. You’ve been this way every winter since they met you. Heeseung gently nudges your arm with his elbow to pull you out of your thoughts. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, okay? We’ll be here for you.”

“I know. I just feel guilty for not going back home since I moved. It’s a two hour train ride but I can’t bring myself to buy the ticket. It’s so hard to be in a place that brings you bad memories.”

“We’ll keep you company this Christmas,” Jake promises. “We aren’t going anywhere so there’s no reason for you to be alone.” 

“Thanks, guys. I’m sorry that I brought the mood down.” 

“What else is drinking at bars for if not to lament about the sad shit?” Jake smiles when that pulls a laugh out of you. 

“Yeah, you’re right. But if I’m hungover at work tomorrow, it’s your fault.”

***

Despite a difficult conversation that sparked haunting nostalgic memories to resurface at once, you managed to keep your drinking to a minimum and stopped yourself after a single cocktail. Heeseung dropped you off and promised to be back to carpool to work tomorrow, and the last thing you thought about before sleeping was The Stranger. 

Your under eye bags aren’t as groggy as they are when you’d drink the night away, but they still feel heavy underneath you. Moisturizer and concealer can only do so much to get rid of the dark circles on your face so you make do and send a silent prayer that you’ll look decent for the entire day. Jake’s ugly sweater hangs perfectly against your dresser and you do your best to style around the atrocious design, but it makes you smile to see such a ridiculous piece of clothing on your body. It reminds you that the holidays are beginning and you try to think about all of the festivities in the area instead of the looming doom of going back to your hometown during this time of year. You take a quick picture of yourself and send it in the group chat, thanking Jake for the impeccably horrible sweater. Once your work bag is packed, Heeseung tells you he’s parked outside of your apartment building. 

You step outside and lock your door only to be greeted by The Stranger.

He blinks when he takes note of the dancing gingerbread men and cocks his head trying to make sense of him. The Stranger, on the other hand, is wearing a fitted longsleeve shirt that nearly molds around the muscles of his arm and baggy pants that somehow make him seem taller than you recall. His hands are adorned with silver jewelry and his shoes look like they might be as expensive as your monthly rent. You’re starting to feel the juxtaposition of your outfit compared to his when he looks at you and the design of the fabric feels heavy on your shoulders.

“That is an ugly sweater.” The Stranger widens his eyes and the tips of his ears turn a shade of pink when his words finally register. “I just mean that your sweater is…interesting.” 

You can’t help but laugh. “It’s alright. This sweater is really ugly.” 

“Any particular reason as to why you’re wearing it, then?” 

“Today’s a holiday spirit day at work,” you explain to him. “Every Friday has a different theme and today just so happens to be Ugly Sweater Day.”

“I hope you get a consolation prize because, wow…that truly is an atrocious piece of clothing.”

The two of you start to make your way towards the elevator, and stand in awkward silence as you wait for it to reach your floor. You see him stealing glances at the design and feel your neck warming up, and start to wish you could take it off. The thought of this outfit being The Stranger's first impression of you makes you feel humiliated, but Heeseung is waiting for you outside and Jake didn’t give it to you just for it to hang in your closet. 

The chime alerts you to the doors opening and The Stranger allows you to get in first. You're about to press the button for the lobby when he beats you to it. You settle into an uncomfortable silence, resisting the urge to itch your palms and shift awkwardly to avoid drawing attention to yourself. Everything about him screams opulence, from the way he stands to the way his cologne smells. You aren’t sure that you can name the notes in the scent, but it smells extremely expensive. Even the way he stands makes you feel like you should fix your posture. 

“I’m Sunghoon,” says The Stranger. His deep voice echoes in the elevator and your throat feels dry as you tell him your name. “I’ll remember that for when we inevitably run into each other.” 

The lobby is fairly empty but you can see the hustle and bustle of city life when you look past the glass walls. Heeseung is sitting in his car, scrolling on his phone when Sunghoon opens the door for you and lets you walk out in front of him. You feel him looking at you and turn around one last time. He takes one more look at the sweater and nods. 

“Well, uh, have a good spirit day at work.”

“T-Thanks!” 

You don’t wait for his reaction and turn around to walk towards Heeseung’s car that you noticed has been recently washed. He unlocks the doors when he hears you tugging on the handles and looks at the sweater before bursting out into laughter.

“Jesus, that sweater is so fucking ugly.” 

“Thanks.” 

When you don’t put your seatbelt on, Heeseung turns to see that you’re looking outside of the window. He darts his eyes to see if he can catch a glimpse of your line of sight but comes up empty. You look fresh for this hour of the morning and Heeseung wonders if the smile on your face is because of the upcoming spirit day. 

“What are you looking at?”

You whip your head to your friend, who looks at you quizzically. “You will not believe who I talked to this morning.” 

“Who? Santa?” Heeseung looks at the photo you sent in the group chat earlier. “Nice selfie, by the way. You look like an elf.”

You swat his shoulder. “No, dummy.”

“Then who did you meet?” 

“My neighbor.” Heeseung’s jaw drops and you swat his shoulder again. He winces, but you can’t find it in yourself to care too much and buckle yourself to his passenger seat. “We gotta get to work. Drive and I’ll tell you.”

He grips the wheel and starts the fifteen minute journey. “Did you finally introduce yourself to him?” 

“Not quite. We walked out of our apartments at the same time. He said, and I quote, ‘That is an ugly sweater.’”

“I don’t know whether to be happy or sorry for you.”

“I feel stupid because of all the days I had to run into him, it had to be today.” Heeseung’s seat warmers make it all that more enticing to sulk. You tug at the hem and inspect the design, feeling somewhat regretful that you chose to participate in today’s spirit day. “I told him a little bit about why I’m wearing it and he seemed to think it was funny.” 

“Does he smell good?” You flick Heeseung’s arm, who laughs in the driver’s seat.

“Shut up. But yeah, he really does.” 

“What’s his name?” 

“Sunghoon.” Your mouth curves into a smile. 

“Sunghoon. Nice name. Sounds fancy.” 

“I guess so. He does wear a lot of name brands and high luxury fashion.”

“His name definitely suits him, then.” 

To nobody’s surprise, you have the best ugly sweater throughout the office. More people participated than you and Heeseung had originally guessed and the holiday-themed snacks your division manager provided was enough to boost office morale. The weather outside is getting darker earlier and you even feel a bit restless after sitting in your office for a while. 

Heeseung watches you from behind your frosted doors as he talks to the floor secretary to order files and copies of his projects, and the sight of you in that horrendous sweater with a smile on your face makes him smile too. You’ve looked like that the entire day, from picking you up and throughout lunch, and Heeseung wonders if could ever convince you to make a move on your neighbor since you talk about him so much. He doesn’t know how much longer he can listen to your fantasies while being extremely shy to strike a conversation with him. 

He turns to the group chat he has with Jay and Jake. You’re notably absent from this text thread (as told by the name of the group chat) and they use it to discuss anything deemed ‘guy stuff’ (most infamously when you text “TAKE THIS ELSEWHERE” when they start getting too boyish for your taste).

The Gentlemen’s Club 

heeseung: GUYS. She met her neighbor this morning

heeseung: His name is Sunghoon and he saw her with Jake’s ugly sweater

heeseung: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

jake: IS HE CUTE

heeseung: I think so. She was blushing the entire car ride here and could barely say anything until we parked 

jake: fuck yea. i trust her taste in men because she thinks byeon wooseok and kim jaeyoung are hot. they’re gonna fall in love guys 

jay: If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Jake had one too many cups of coffee  

jake: well yes BUT u know me and you know i think they’ll have a meet cute

heeseung: Technically they already had one. Although I don’t if I’d call it a meet cute since he called your sweater ugly to her face

jake: whatever. you know what I mean. we should find out what he looks like 

jay: And how are we gonna do that?   

jake: idk maybe throw a little get together this weekend

heeseung: That’s a little soon, no? 

jake: next weekend then. 

jake: I can host at my place. tell her to bring whoever she wants. I need an excuse for a housewarming anyway 

jay: You moved in three months ago tho??

jake: it’s time to have one now!!!! I’ll text the group chat with all of us 

Heeseung switches to the group chat with you in it. 

The Family Unit:

jake: housewarming. my place. next saturday. 6pm. bring food 

jay: If you’re throwing the party, why do we need to bring the food

jake: because I am hosting god knows how many people and I cannot afford all of that 

heeseung: We can figure this out later 

you: Jaeyun, didn’t you move in three months ago ???

jay: THAT’S WHAT I SAID.

jake: we can have an official party now!!!!. bring whoever you want as long as they’re cool

you: Say less!!! I’m there. I’ll bring dessert

jake: 🤤

jay: Can I leave this group chat?

It’s painfully boring for the rest of the day as you all tie up loose ends before 6 PM hits, but you power through it and let your assistant go home for the day. With the weekend looming near after sending a few more emails, you swear you can feel the tension exiting your body. Heeseung knocks on your door and steps inside as you send one last message to a client. 

“You should invite Sunghoon.” 

“To what?” you ask him, temporarily clouded by end-of-week work stress.

“To Jake’s housewarming, dude. It’s the perfect excuse to talk to him again.” You sit back in your chair and look at him as he sits in front of you. 

“I don’t think I have the guts to do that.”

“It’s easy. Knock on his door and tell him there’s gonna be free food and drinks next weekend.”

You scoff. “Easy for you to say. You’re like a magnet. People are drawn to you because you have no problem socializing with people you don’t know.”

“You and I are friends, aren’t we? I must be doing something right.”

“Meeting at work four years ago hardly counts as socializing. It was forced proximity.” Heeseung puts his hand over his heart and pretends to cry.

“Well, for what it’s worth, I like being friends with you and you aren’t as awkward as you think you are. I think Sunghoon, or anyone for that matter, would feel that way too. You just need to put yourself out there.”

You slump back in your desk chair. “I know…It’s hard to push myself to get to know someone, though. It’s like there’s an invisible line I can’t seem to cross and it gets worse when I talk to people I find attractive. He’s like, really hot.”

“You talk to me every day and do just fine.” Expertly, he dodges when you throw a pen at him and laughs when you grunt in dissatisfaction. “What are you so scared of?”

“I don’t know. Looking like an idiot, for one. He’s so beautiful and I don’t feel worthy of him.”

“He’s a man, first of all,” Heeseung deadpans, “so he’s already beneath you.”

“Wow, so you do listen to my I-hate-men rants.”

“Yeah, because I care about you and men suck.”

“You and the guys especially when you won’t leave my apartment.” 

“But your apartment is so cozy.” You threaten to throw another pen and smile when he flinches. 

“I’m afraid of making things awkward if he doesn’t want to get to know me like that. We’ve acknowledged that we’re neighbors and all, but what if I ask him to come to Jake’s party, he says no, and thinks I’m a weirdo and a creep for asking him that after one conversation?”

“Then he’s a weirdo for being creeped out. Anyone who gets offended by being invited somewhere is weird. You’re a nice person trying to do a nice thing. There’s nothing wrong with making friends.”

Heeseung is right, like he typically always is, and you ponder on his words. Since the first time you saw Sunghoon, you’ve treated him as some fictitious crush that exists only within your head and muse over the small interactions and indulge yourself when thinking about him. Romance seems far fewer in between and you choose to stick to television shows and books that make your heart flutter instead of going on multiple dates just to find out the two of you aren’t compatible. 

It feels like an endless cycle of hopelessness at times. You’ll watch your friends fall in love and try to empathize with that kind of unfiltered joy that comes with knowing somebody loves you just as much as you love them, but you fall flat when the reality weighs in. You don’t think you’ve ever fallen in love or have felt anything remotely close to falling for someone so deeply that you lose yourself in it. It’s probably a good thing, but the yearning doesn’t seem to end even though you know it’s for the best. 

Pinning all of the qualities you’d want in a boyfriend on the stranger next door seemed like a safe bet because you never thought about the possibility of getting to know him. Sunghoon is someone who is as quiet as a mouse, never making too much noise when he’s in his apartment. He’s a model tenant who always pays his bills on time and never causes a disturbance to the building. Facing the reality that is perceiving him as anything but what your imagination conjured up makes you a little uneasy. You admire from afar but the idea of a hot guy looking in your direction makes you feel somewhat unworthy of their attention. 

“I’ll think about it,” is all you offer. Heeseung seems to be pleased at your answer and doesn’t pry any further. “Are you done with work?”

“Yup. I decided everything else could wait until Monday and sent my assistant home.” 

“Look at us being good managers.”

“We’re everything we said we would ve and then some.” Heeseung grabs your pea coat from the closet and helps you put it on when you round the corner of your desk one sleeve at a time. “Do you remember Song Bitna?”

“How could I ever forget,” you scoff, retrieving your bag and slinging it over your shoulder. “She used to make us run laps and get upset that our work wasn’t completed.”

“She made me go on more personal errands than anything work related. It’s a wonder how I managed to get promoted.”

You push the door to your office open and say goodnight to your remaining coworkers. “There’s a reason why we’re here and she isn’t. It’s good to know we aren’t shitty bosses.”

“I hope so. Sometimes I get in my own head and wonder if I’m managing everything correctly. I want my assistant to learn from me, you know?” Heeseung allows you to step into the elevator before walking in after you. 

“Yeah, but you’re good at everything you do. You should have more faith in yourself.” He nudges your shoulder with his own.

“You should take your own advice.” You bite your lip and look down at the floor. “You’ve got a week. Think about it, okay?”

“I will.” 

“I was serious about the promotion as well. I’ll put in a good word but you should consider talking to the division lead.”

Classic Heeseung. He looks out for you in more ways than one. 

***

The weekend flies by too quickly for your liking and you find yourself at your desk on a Wednesday afternoon with a cup of tea sitting between your hands to warm up your palms. The building’s central heater stopped working a few hours into the workday, leaving you and many other office workers disgruntled and cold. You shut all of your windows and paced around your office to keep your blood circulating throughout your body. The morning was fairly productive until the heating went out and you've spent the last hour replying to emails with cold fingers, pushing any and all thoughts of Sunghoon out of your mind. 

You haven’t seen him since last Friday. Sunghoon doesn’t seem to have a routine that he sticks to–one that you can identify, anyway–because you didn’t run into him for the past three days. You waited anxiously by the elevator to see if he would come barreling down the hallway and ask you to hold the door for him, but each day was met with empty silence before stepping into Heeseung’s car. 

True to your word, you spent Saturday trying to convince yourself to ask if he’d be interested in coming with you to Jake’s housewarming party. You’d wane from decision to decision, telling yourself there’s nothing inherently wrong with asking somebody if they want to hang out, but the irrational side of your brain convinced you that it would be weird to open up that kind of dialogue with a stranger. You don’t know anything about him and he doesn’t know the first thing about you. But that’s what getting to know someone consists of, doesn’t it? 

Before you knew it, Sunday came around and it was starting to get dark outside your window. The urge to curl up into your blankets and spend the rest of the evening watching Netflix was too tempting. The more you watched your TV, the more you stared at your front door. It would take a minute, maybe two at the most, to ask Sunghoon if he’d like to come with you to Jake’s. The worst thing he could do is decline your invitation. He seemed nice enough on Friday when he saw you wearing the ugly sweater and you suppose he’d be nice about letting you down gently. But even so, rejection stings. 

Your feet carried you outside of your apartment door to knock on his. You waited with your heartbeat loud in your ears but heard nothing from the other end of the door. When you peeked down at the small gap below you, there weren’t any shadows or anything indicating that Sunghoon was home. Still, you knocked once more for good measure and waited thirty seconds to see if he would open the door. Even though the most logical explanation is that your neighbor wasn’t home, heat crept up your neck and splashed onto your cheeks as you quickly made your way back inside of your apartment. With the twist of the lock behind you, your couch and TV brought some much needed comfort and distraction from feeling embarrassed. 

Heeseung hadn’t asked you about Sunghoon on Monday or Tuesday, but seemed to remember when Jake sent a reminder earlier this morning. He swung by your office as the temperature dipped and you updated him on what transpired over the weekend with a defeated sigh. Ever the optimist, Heeseung told you to try again tonight since you might have a better chance at catching Sunghoon during a weeknight. 

The day goes by slower than you’d like and when Heeseung drops you off at your apartment, you make a dash for your sanctuary and rid yourself of the day’s grime by spending a long time underneath the hot shower. Work is simultaneously ramping up and slowing down as everyone is trying to complete projects before winter recess and you feel all of the tension leave your body once the hot water soothes over your shoulder blades. It’s still relatively early in the evening when your hair is half dry and you’ve just finished eating dinner. The entire time you wash your dirty dishes, your mind can’t help but wander towards Sunghoon and what Heeseung said earlier about trying to ask him again. Surely he’s in his apartment at this hour on a Wednesday evening. 

You decide to bite the bullet. After grabbing the cardigan that rests on the back of your couch, you put it on and decide against changing into your shoes since you’ll be stepping out for just a few minutes. Sunghoon’s door stares back at you as you close your own behind you and this time, you can hear the soft sounds of R&B behind it. 

This makes your heart rate pick up speed because the real possibility that you’ll be face to face with Sunghoon becomes too real for you to handle. You could barely utter complete sentences to him last week. What makes you think you could do it now? The same scenarios of rejection and humiliation ruminate in your mind the longer you stand outside. You contemplate going back inside but the thought of telling Heeseung you chickened out and seeing a potentially disappointed expression on his face makes you knock on Sunghoon’s door. 

Unlike the last time, you hear the sound of slippers shuffling against a hardwood floor. The lights are on from what you can tell underneath the gap of the door and you start to panic when you see a shadowy figure blocking that light. You assume Sunghoon must be looking through the peephole and resist the urge to fix your hair in case it looks horrible. The door opens momentarily.

“Hey. What’s up?” Sunghoon wears a pair of dark green sweatpants and a large graphic t-shirt that makes him look like the stereotypical boy next door. You look up at him and gulp.  

“Sorry to bother you,” you apologize, suddenly feeling a lump growing in the back of your throat. 

“You’re not bothering me,” Sunghoon says it with a smile. He opens the door wider. “Do you want to come inside?” You don’t really want to because you’re afraid you might trip and fall on your way inside, but you take up his offer anyway.

“Sure.” It comes out as a squeak.

His apartment is tidy and well kept with artwork adorning the walls in his living room. It’s more spacious than your own and his furniture makes the room look bigger than it probably is, with couches against the wall and a large TV in front of it. There are photographs hung in silver frames and pictures of people you don’t recognize, along with shelves of knick knacks and other small statues you assume are artwork he’s acquired over time. Sunghoon’s living room gives you the impression that he’s somebody who cares about taking care of himself and his space. He sees that you’re particularly drawn to the photo gallery on his wall and you feel him standing next to you.

“I took most of these pictures.” 

“Are you a photographer?”

“Not professionally, no. Photography is a hobby of mine.” 

“You’re really good.” 

“Thank you.” Sunghoon looks at you before averting his gaze back to the photo wall. “My mom gave me my first camera when I was eleven and I took it with me everywhere I went. Are you a photographer too?” 

You shake your head. “Oh no, I don’t have an artistic eye like you do. But I appreciate good photos when I see them, or so I’d like to think.” Sunghoon smiles at that.

“I’m glad you think my photographs are worthy of praise. This is the first photo I ever took.” He points to an image of a young girl in the center of the photo gallery, whose short arms are reaching for the camera. She wears an infectious smile on her face that reveals a dimple on the side of her cheek. 

“Wow, you were really good even back then. Who is she, if you don’t mind me asking?” 

“That’s my younger sister,” Sunghoon says with a fond smile. “I got this camera on my birthday and she wanted to see it after my dad helped me set it up. I think this might be my favorite photo I’ve ever taken.” 

“It’s a great shot.” You compliment Sunghoon sincerely and turn your head to look at him. He clears his throat. 

“What is it that you came here for?” 

“Oh, right!” Sheepishly balancing on both of your feet, you clasp your hands behind your back and lick your lips. “I, um, well…One of my best friends is hosting a housewarming party at his apartment, and I wanted to know if you’d like to come with me.” 

Sunghoon points at himself. “Me?” You nod. “I didn’t think we were that close.” You try not to let him see how embarrassed you are. 

“Sorry, it’s probably weird that I asked you even though we barely know each other, right?” It seems as though your brain cannot stop you from speaking, a habit you have every time you begin to feel nervous. You start to back away towards his front door. “It’s just that, well, we’ve been neighbors for almost a year and I thought to myself, why not make new friends? My friend told me to invite anybody I wanted to and we have a lot of the same friends, so I knew they’d be there too.” You wince at the sound of your voice. “Anyway, I’m sorry for bothering you and for asking.” 

Sunghoon shakes his head and grabs the doorknob before you can. “You’ve got it all wrong. I’m honored that you invited me, actually. Living by yourself gets kind of lonely at times. It’s nice to go somewhere that isn’t home for a few hours. I’m a bit of an introvert and would like to make more friends.” 

“You don’t seem like an introvert to me,” you blurt out before slapping your palm over your mouth. “I mean, you’re doing just fine with me.”

He smiles at you. “Yeah, I guess I am.” 

“My friend’s a great host and loves meeting new people. You’ll make at least one friend by the time you leave. Even if you don’t, there’s gonna be food there, so you’ll have a free meal out of it.” 

“Should I bring anything?” 

You shake your head. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“I feel like I shouldn’t come there empty handed if it’s a housewarming.” 

“I’m making peppermint brownies,” you tell him. “I’ll say it’s from both of us.” 

Sunghoon seems to be satisfied with your answer. “When’s the party?” 

“This Saturday at six. We could, uh, go together? If you want to, that is.” 

“It makes sense to go together. Do you drive? I can drive us if you don’t.” 

“No, I don’t drive.” Your cheeks feel warm at your admission and you don’t know why your inability to operate a car makes you feel a bit bashful. Sunghoon doesn’t seem to mind, though. 

“Okay, I’ll drive us. Where does your friend live?”

“Not too far. He’s about twenty minutes from us.” 

“I’ll knock on your door around 5:30,” Sunghoon says with a single nod. He reaches around you to open his door for you. 

“Sounds good!” Sunghoon smiles and waves before saying goodnight. You watch him as the door closes and rush back into your apartment with your heart hammering in your chest as you sit on your couch and text Heeseung about everything that just transpired. When he asks if you asked for Sunghoon’s number, you slouch. You didn’t think about that and now you’re too embarrassed to back and ask for it. 

Three days pass by quicker than you anticipated and your plate of peppermint brownies sits covered in tin foil on your kitchen counter as you wait for Sunghoon to knock on your door. You spent the entirety of the day worrying about the sweet treat and giving yourself enough time to get ready. Perhaps it’s a bit worrisome that you spent a good chunk of time standing in front of your closet to pick an outfit for tonight, but you want to make a good first impression on Sunghoon without the ugly sweater or pajamas you wore when you invited him to Jake’s party. 

You settle with flattering jeans and a nice top with an oversized leather jacket and find yourself wondering what kind of lipstick you should put on. It feels silly to worry about these things for a person who likely wouldn’t notice that type of effort, so you settle with something that compliments your skin tone but isn’t too over the top for a casual hang out. It’s just before 5:30 when you hear your doorbell ring and your heart rate perks up at the thought of Sunghoon waiting for you. 

“Hey,” you say to Sunghoon pathetically.. Sunghoon’s wearing a light grey quarter zip sweater with a few buttons hanging loose and black trousers. You avoid gawking at him from the threshold of your doorway, but it’s hard not to. 

“Long time no see,” he jokes. “Are you ready to head to the party?” His questions bring your eyes back to his face and you smile at him awkwardly. 

“Can you hold this for a second?” You hand Sunghoon the bag with Jake’s ugly sweater. “Let me get the brownies.” You barely register that Sunghoon’s holding a bag of his own until you walk back with the dessert, successfully locking your door without dropping your keys. “What's in the bag?” 

Sunghoon looks at you sheepishly. “I went out and bought some wine because I’d feel bad taking credit for your brownies when I didn’t help make them. There’s some soju in there too because I started to overthink and wondered if any of your friends drank wine.” 

You beam at Sunghoon. How thoughtful of him. “Wine and soju are perfect. The guys will probably drink that up before you get the chance to introduce yourself and I’ll happily drink the wine. My friend Jay might, too.” 

“I’m excited to meet your friends,” Sunghoon says as the two of you walk side by side towards the elevator. He presses the button and lets you walk inside the contraption first. “It’s been a while since I got the chance to meet new people.”

“If they make you uncomfortable or anything, let me know and we can leave.” 

Sunghoon laughs. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. If you like them, then so do I.”

“That doesn’t seem very introverted of you.” He smiles at you and shrugs.

“I’m trying to get out of my shell.” Sunghoon lets you step out of the elevator and guides you to his car. “I keep to myself most of the time but I have my moments. It’s easy to get lost in a city as busy as Seoul but sometimes it gets a bit lonely.” 

He unlocks the door and puts the sweater in the backseat, along with the brownie tray on the floor for extra stability. You watch him open the passenger door for you and smile as you climb inside. Even the interior of his car is orderly and pristine. Sunghoon has you typing in Jake’s address before the two of you hit the road. 

Sunghoon drives like an expert, weaving between lanes without causing collisions or disturbance to the traffic. He uses his turn signals, which you appreciate, and doesn’t get too angry when people cut him off unnecessarily. He looks a bit too good from where you’re sitting with his jawline looking sharper than the edge of a knife with the glow from headlights shining across his face. It’s a bit unfair how beautiful Sunghoon looks from where you are and you’re having a hard time believing someone as handsome as him is talking to someone as awkward as you. 

“Are you from Seoul?” you ask him in the midst of the silence. His music hums in the background and pairs well with the smooth sound of his car’s engine. 

“No, I’m not.” Sunghoon spares you a glance. “I’m from a small suburb just outside of Busan.”

“Do you miss it?” His smile falters and you almost regret asking.

“Sometimes, but I think I’ve found my footing here. I love the city life and I like that everything is so different and loud. There are a million ways to live your life and nobody expects you to follow a certain path.” 

“Yeah, I agree with that. I’m from a small fishing town a few hours away from here where everyone comes from a long line of farmers and fisherman. It’s hard to carry that burden and expectation when fishing is the last thing you want to do with your life.” 

“People have a crazy way of making you feel indebted, don’t you think?”

You nod. “Agreed. Sometimes I feel guilty for enjoying my time in Seoul. I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do, theoretically. Everyone back home used to tell me about the amount of bills I’d have to pay and how dangerous big cities are, but I’ve found a home here that I never felt back in my neighborhood. It’s like nobody knows who I am and I find comfort in that.” 

“I feel the same way. I can be whoever I want to be without people telling me it’s wrong. I don’t have to live my life by another person’s expectation and there are so many different things I could be doing with myself. How long have you been in Seoul? Have you visited your hometown at all?” 

“I’ve been here for eight years, if we count my university days, but I’ve been living here full time for four years. I went back home for a few months after graduating before getting the job I have now.” You play with your fingers as you speak, the feeling of guilt bubbling to the surface. “As for going home, well, I’ve been back but it’s hard to find the time with my job.”

“I understand that. I haven’t been home in a while either. I don’t really want to go back either.” You want to ask him why but don’t. 

“Does your younger sister still live there?” 

“She’s still back home and lives with our parents while he’s finishing up university in Busan, actually.” 

“Oh, that’s cool! It’s nice of your parents to let her stay at home while she studies.” Sunghoon smiles in a way you can’t decipher. 

“Yeah, really nice.” 

Sunghoon parks right in front of Jake’s apartment just when you’re starting to regret bringing up his family. You risk looking over at him and an apology sits on your tongue because it seems like a sore subject for him based on the short response, but Sunghoon exits the car and grabs the alcohol and the bag that contains the ugly sweater. You carry the brownies and feel a bit self conscious when you feel him walking behind you. Your shoes feel heavy around your feet and despite having been over to Jake’s apartment more times than you can count on both hands, you second guess every step you take on the way to his front door. 

“Thanks for bringing me here,” Sunghoon tells you after a beat of silence as you approach Jake's front door. You want to say something, but the door opening interferes with your thoughts. 

“Hey, you made it!” Jake ushers the two of you inside and by force of habit, you take off your shoes and out on the designated slippers you purposely left here when he first moved in. “Did you bring the sweater?” 

“The fact that you want to keep that ugly thing concerns me.” Heeseung gives you a hug and grabs the brownies from your hands as you struggle to take your coat off. “I’ll put this in the kitchen.” 

“Sunghoon has the sweater.” When you’re settled, you grab the paper bag and hand it to Jake. The warmth of his apartment feels comforting until you remember that your neighbor is a complete stranger in a new environment. You turn around to see him balancing awkwardly with a bag of alcohol behind his back. “Everyone, this is Sunghoon. Sunghoon, this is…everyone.” 

“Hey,” he says awkwardly, bringing his hand up to wave at your friends who’ve all gathered around to see the newcomer. Heeseung comes back after he’s put the dessert in the kitchen. The bottles in Sunghoon’s hands ring against one another, which makes Jake’s ears perk up. 

“Did you bring something?” 

“Wine and soju. She told me not to bring anything but I didn’t want to show up empty handed.” 

“I told him we could bring brownies together.” Jake makes a face at you and grabs the bag of alcohol from Sunghoon’s hands, pulling him further into the apartment. 

“Thank you, Sunghoon.” He turns back to you. “The thought that you could’ve deprived us of alcohol is insane, actually.” 

You purse your lips and fold your arms in front of your chest. “He could’ve brought everyone ear muffs, for all you know. What are you gonna do with them if your big ass ears can barely handle your headphones?” 

“Ignore them,” Heeseung says to Sunghoon as he approaches the two of you. “They fight like siblings. I’m Heeseung.” 

Sunghoon laughs. “I’m starting to think you guys are either really close or secretly hate each other.” 

“I hate Jake and love everybody else.” Jake bumps your hip and smiles at you, and you find that you can’t keep up that faux attitude for very long. He pulls you into a hug before properly introducing himself to Sunghoon and walks to the kitchen to open a bottle of wine and store the rest in his refrigerator. 

“Do you want a drink or some food? We have a little pot luck going on.”

“I could use a drink.”

Heeseung beckons Sunghoon towards the kitchen while Jay steps beside you, and your neighbor turns back to look at you before disappearing around the corner. “See? It’s not so scary once you take the first step.” 

“Your face was chiseled by God. You of all people don’t have to worry about rejection.”

Jay laughs at that. “Still, though. You’ve been talking about Sunghoon for so long that I was getting worried he might’ve been a figment of your imagination.” 

“I might be delusional, but I’m not crazy.”

“We all have our ways to cope.” You bump your shoulder with his. “You should know we’re all rooting for you and Sunghoon.” 

“Oh my God, it’s not like I pictured myself marrying him!” You whisper-yell loud enough for him to hear through gritted teeth and smack his bicep. “I just think he’s cute. The thought of being rejected by him scares the shit out of me.”

“He’s just a guy?” 

“A beautiful, charming guy.”

“Again, just a guy.” 

It’s his turn to make you laugh. “You always keep me grounded, Jongseong.” 

“Who else will? But anyway, you should also know that Jake decided to host this housewarming party because Heeseung told us you ran into him on your way to work.” 

“I don’t know whether to be flattered or weirded out by that.” 

“It’s Jake we’re talking about. He has his ways of showing it, but he’s a sentimental guy.” 

“I guess I should thank him if tonight goes well.”

“Don’t stress about anything too much.” Jay starts to walk towards the kitchen and beckons for you to follow him. “Let’s get you a drink.”

You spot Sunghoon first, who leans against Jake’s counter while he looks at all of the food your friends brought (Chick-Fil-A catering, because he’s been craving it and Heeseung offered to pay for half of it). There’s an impressive selection of alcohol beside the large platter of breaded chicken, and macaroni and cheese that smells like it’s just been pulled out of the oven. Sunghoon seems entertained enough with Jake fixing him a plate and opening a bottle of beer for him. You stand beside Jay and feel a bit silly worrying over whether or not your guest feels comfortable with your group of friends, but he seems to be doing okay because he isn’t searching for you. 

“How do you guys know each other?” 

“This one spilled coffee on me when we first met.” Heeseung laughs at the memory and the tips of his ears turn a deep shade of red. He’s talkative when he has enough alcohol in his system and the nostalgia makes you curl into yourself as Jay hands you a bottle of beer. Everyone looks at you when Heeseung points in your direction. 

“She’s really fucking clumsy.”

“Thanks for the commentary, Jake,” you say sarcastically. 

“We work together at a marketing agency and started around the same time,” Heeseung explains further. “She just moved to the city and we clicked on our first day.” 

“I met the other two through Heeseung, actually.” Sunghoon looks between Jay and Jake when you gesture, who each seem like they’ve also started drinking before you arrived. 

“We’re friends from college and we all decided to stay around the area after graduating.” Jay pours himself a glass of wine and you can see Sunghoon beginning to perk up when he notices. You find that kind of cute. 

“Heeseung’s the reason we’re all friends.” Jake pats his friend on the back. “It’s funny though because we actually all met her at his housewarming all those years ago too.” 

“Huh,” says Sunghoon. “What a coincidence. Sounds like you guys have a thing for housewarming parties.” 

“I’ll take up any excuse to host. It’s how we get her to come out of her shell.” Your cheeks warm up but you aren’t sure if it’s because of the alcohol or because everyone’s looking at you again. 

“She’s a bit of an introvert, but she’s really fun when you get to know her. Sorta like a diamond in the rough type of thing.” 

“Okay, wow! We don’t have to talk about me.” 

Jake points at a grocery store receipt on his refrigerator and grins. “This is the first time she bought groceries for me when I moved in a few months ago. She’s a bit sentimental and put this on when she came over for the first time. It’s nice, though.” 

“Oh my god,” you mutter. Sunghoon smiles at you and those fairytale-like butterflies in the pit of your stomach feel like they’re flying in a metal cage. 

“I like that you’re sentimental. You’re a little like me. I decided to come to this party because somebody else gave me the choice to be social.” 

“Yeah.” You’re a bit breathless and you’re sure Jay’s grinning beside you. “I get a bit intimidated when I do something different or meet new people.”

“Who doesn’t?” You suppose he’s right. 

“She’s incredible with gifts, too. Last year, she got me a signed guitar by my favorite musician because they worked on a campaign together.” Jay takes out his phone to show Sunghoon a photo of the autographed instrument. 

“So thoughtful,” Sunghoon says absentmindedly. It throws your heart in a loop.

“There is so much more to talk about beyond me,” you say, embarrassed that your friends are doting on you in front of Sunghoon. The attention is a bit too much and you grab another beer on your way out of the kitchen, choosing not to look back at the four boys who all laugh at your exit. 

The entire night goes smoother than you could’ve ever hoped for. Your friends leave the weird, overbearing protectiveness in the kitchen when you walk out of it and talk to Sunghoon like he’s their friend too. It still makes you a bit shy when they actively support you in this crush because you aren’t used to this level of care and trust in people. Affection makes you a bit uncomfortable and you wish it didn’t.

Sunghoon seems like he’s enjoying himself as well. You can tell he’s a little buzzed but stopped drinking halfway through the night to sober up by the time he has to drive. Even in your inebriated state, you appreciate his sense of responsibility. He’s rolled the sleeves of his quarter zip up and you try your best not to drool over his toned arms every time he moves his hands when he talks. Sunghoon looks so effortlessly cool when with your friends and it’s almost as if he’s known the three of them for as long as you’ve known them to the point where you’re questioning if he’s truly an introvert or not. 

It’s this level of comfort that keeps you in Seoul. Surrounding yourself with people who support you unconditionally feels like a reward after spending your childhood wishing for the friends you have now. It feels like everybody has a place in your life because you’ve done the work to keep people who love you for who you are rather than somebody they assume you to be. It’s nice to let go of the high walls you’ve built around yourself for protection. 

Eventually, half of the alcohol is gone and so has all of the food. Jake’s had a bit of influence over your drunken state because as he puts it, he’s the host and needs to make sure everybody is having a good time. You’re not one to blame him though, since you’ve been accepting every shot and drink he’s put in your hand. Jay’s the one who prevents Jake from giving you anything more when he sees the way you’re swaying in your spot on the floor where all of you have formed a circle. 

Jake returns from the kitchen after throwing away empty bottles. “Damn, so all of us are staying here for the holidays?”

“I haven’t decided if I’m staying or not, if that counts for anything. My parents are going to be in London but there’s a month and a half until Christmas, so I have some time to decide.” 

“Sunghoon, you’ve got to be crazy rich if you can afford to fly to Europe at the last minute.” You’re about to scold your friend but Sunghoon just laughs. 

“I suppose I’m a bit privileged like that. I’ve spent every holiday season back home and wanted to try something different this year.”

“What does Christmas in your hometown look like?” 

“Really cold. Almost as cold as Seoul when the snow begins to fall. We take Christmas seriously since we’re primarily known as a holiday destination for people who like that kind of stuff. A lot of our publicity revolves around the holidays, so my city is a little bit like a winter wonderland. At least, that’s what they want you to believe.” 

“Sounds like the perfect place for you,” Heeseung says as he nods over at you. 

“Why’s that?” 

“She loves Christmas. She can’t get enough of it and does everything holiday-related as soon as summer ends.” 

“Do you like Christmas that much?” Sunghoon asks you with apprehension in his tone.

“You don’t?” 

Sunghoon shrugs at your small outburst. “Our whole thing is about Christmas and holiday festivities. It gets a little old when you’re surrounded by it all the time” 

“Sounds like a dream.” He smiles at you. 

“I’m sure you’d like it there. My parents love the holidays and go all out every year. It’s a bit corny but they’re wholesome people and I know they love their country as much as anyone else.”

“She always knows what’s going on around town if it has anything to do with the holidays,” Jake tells him. 

“Oh, really?”

“Did you know there’s gonna be a Christmas market right next to Yonsei? They’re gonna be selling a bunch of baked goods and decorative stuff. I heard their food trucks are really good.” 

Jay chimes in. “We should go next weekend.” Jake elbows his ribcage. “Actually, you two should go together.” 

“Us?” Sunghoon points between him and yourself. 

“Yeah, why not?” Jake shrugs like it’s the most obvious answer. “She’s a huge fan of the holidays and you’ve never experienced it here. Why not see what Christmas in Seoul looks like?” 

“I’m not big on those kinds of things.” Your heart plummets and you don’t really know why. You put a smile on your face anyway. 

“You don’t have to do anything, Sunghoon. I don’t mind doing these things alone and you don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to.” 

There is an indescribable look on Sunghoon’s face when you finish speaking and the living room is completely silent. He peeks at you through his long eyelashes and it feels as if he’s inspecting you from where he sits. Neither of your friends say anything either and you’re one second from awkwardly laughing when you realize nobody’s saying anything until Sunghoon speaks up again. 

“I’ll go with you.” 

“You really don’t have to.” 

He cocks his head to the side. “It sounds like you’re really excited about it. I might be tired of Christmas but maybe you can change my mind.” 

His words fly right over your head and Heeseung can see it in the way you beam at the mention of Sunghoon’s proposal. Even he hears the absurdity of it all when he looks at Sunghoon, who doesn’t spare anybody else a glance. You try to contain your excitement and keep smiling to a minimum, but you feel your cheeks harden anyway and Sunghoon smiles right back at you. 

“We could go tomorrow!” 

“You’ve had quite a bit to drink,” Heeseung reminds you. “Maybe next weekend?” 

“You, of all people, should know that I don’t get hangovers. I'm too excited just thinking about it.”

“We can go tomorrow if you’re not too tired. I can check in with you when I wake up. How does 10 AM sound?” 

You sigh, content. “Perfect.” 

When the conversation starts to die down naturally, everybody seems to be under the impression that it’s time to go. You say goodbye to your friends and thank Jake for hosting the party, choosing not to tell him what Jay had revealed to you earlier. Sunghoon seems like he had a great time because as you’re putting your shoes on, you see him exchanging numbers with everybody else. Sunghoon carries the empty tray that was once filled with dessert and tells Jake to keep the rest of the alcohol, no doubt solidifying him as someone he’d want to keep around. The drive back to your apartment feels too long for your liking and your body feels heavy when the two of you arrive at your respective doors. 

“Thanks for driving. I promise I don’t usually get this drunk.” You hiccup. “Well, okay, that’s a lie. I only get this drunk when I’m with this specific group of friends.” 

“It’s fine. It’s nice to let go every once in a while.” 

You look up at him. “Did you have fun?” 

“I did,” he says with a single, firm nod. “Your friends are really funny. I was kind of worried about it on the way here because I tend to be really quiet when I meet new people for the first time, but it felt like we knew each other already.” 

“They knew about you.”

“Did they?” 

“Mhm.” You hiccup again. “I told them about my new neighbor a while ago and thought you looked cool, but I’m a little awkward, you know? I don’t really know how to talk to people without someone else acting as a buffer.” 

“Could've fooled me. You did just fine.” 

“That’s because you saw me in Jake’s ugly fucking sweater.” You make a face at the memory, cheeks heating up at the look on Sunghoon’s face when his eyes roamed from the fabric to your face. “You called me ugly.” 

Sunghoon laughs. “I called the sweater ugly. Not you.” 

“You don’t think I’m ugly?” Your question catches Sunghoon off guard, but you’re already fishing for your apartment keys when he looks at you. 

“No, I don’t.” You don’t seem to be paying attention to him as you successfully jam your keys into the lock on the second try. He sees a peek inside when you open the door and watches you stumble inside before latching onto the doorknob to balance yourself. 

“Thanks for coming with me, Sunghoon. I’m really glad you had fun. I think my friends like you a lot.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. They’re a little protective over me and like to make sure any guy I hang out with is cool. You know how it is.” Sunghoon holds the door open for you while you take your shoes off and throw your purse somewhere on your couch before turning around to look at him. 

“I mean it, though. Thanks for coming and dealing with me and my friends. We’re a little bit of a handful.” 

He smiles and shakes his head. “Not in the way you think. It’s nice that you have people in your life that you can be yourself around and it seems like they love you just as much as you love them.” 

“I really love my friends. But don’t tell them I said that.” Sunghoon pretends to zip his mouth shut. 

“Your secret's safe with me.” You look at him with an unreadable expression, but it gets replaced with a tired smile. 

“Sleep well, okay? My friends are your friends.” 

“You’re so generous,” he says with a laugh. You take a step forward but retract when the sober part of your brain reminds you that the two of you aren’t likely close enough to give each other a hug goodbye. 

“...Do you still want to come to the Christmas market with me tomorrow?” 

“I’ll give you one chance to convince me that the holidays are fun, but only if you wake up without a hangover.” He laughs when you give him a mock salute.

“I don’t get hangovers, remember?” You tap the side of your head with your pointer finger. Sunghoon smiles down at you before pulling his phone from the back of his pocket. 

“I should probably get your number too.” 

“Oh.” He hands it to you and your fingers suddenly feel numb. You manage to type your number and try to think of something cute and quirky to put as your contact, ultimately settling with your name followed by the ‘:)’ symbol. It’s casual but you think it makes you stand out from generic contact names, as Sunghoon seems like the kind of guy who keeps everything straight to business. 

“I’ll text you so you have my number too.” You pull out your phone when you see him typing. 

Unknown: It’s Sunghoon! :) 

You feel like a creep trying to bite back a smile.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Don’t push yourself if you wake up too tired but promise me you’ll try to get some sleep tonight.” 

“I promise. Goodnight, Sunghoon.”

***

You aren’t sure whether you’re pleased or not when you wake up at eight o’clock on the dot with no chance of falling back asleep in sight. You turn to see that your phone is fully charged and force yourself to  leave your warm, comfortable bed to prepare yourself for the day. You don’t respond to the text Sunghoon sent last night and don’t know if he’s going to keep up his end of the bargain and go with you to the Christmas market, but you decide to get ready in the event that he was serious about it. 

Your friends text you too, both in the group chat and separately. Heeseung, as always, is telling you not to overthink anything and enjoy spending time with your neighbor crush. He tries to be as encouraging as he can but can’t help slipping in a few jokes here and there about how fast you’re growing up (even though you’re only a few months younger than he is). Jay sends you words of encouragement too, but he keeps it straight to the point and tells you to buy him something that you think he’d like if you stumble across anything. Jake, on the other hand, makes far too many inappropriate jokes that you have no choice but to laugh. You feel something akin to a high school crush getting ready for a first date even though this isn’t technically a date. 

You’ve managed to pull yourself together and see that the time is half past nine when you check the clock. Sunghoon hasn’t texted you at all today so you take the liberty to let him know you’re awake and hope you don’t come off as pushy or overly eager. But he responds in kind and tells you he’s getting ready and will be knocking on your door soon. 

True to his word, Sunghoon stands at your doorstep when it’s 10 AM.

“You look so cozy,” he says. 

Never mind that you’re swearing something you deemed cute and casual that pairs well with the low temperature outside along with the snowfall from last night. Sunghoon steps out looking like a model himself with his tailored trousers, a graphic shirt, and a denim jean jacket. He looks like the epitome of every girl’s fantasy of the boy next door once again.

“You look really good.” You say it before you can catch yourself and he laughs. 

“You think so?” Your eyes snap up at him as you frantically close your door behind you and lock it.  

“Will you be warm enough in that?” 

“I’ll be fine, but I appreciate your concern.” You frown when he starts to lead you towards the elevator. 

“If you say so.” You see a small silver camera peeking out of his pockets. “What’s that?” 

He pulls it out for you to see. “It’s a Z155 film camera. I got it before moving to Seoul and wanted to learn how to photograph with this type of camera. Cool, right?” 

Your worries dissipate the more you walk through your neighborhood and onto the outdoor market you’ve had bookmarked for weeks. Perhaps it’s the warm coffee amidst the chilly winter that excited you, or the handmade decorations that seem far too inexpensive for what they’re worth, but your face lights up when you walk through the aisles. There are too many vendors for you to look at and the overwhelming feeling perks up in your chest when you see different people trying to attract customers. But you’d argue that’s one of your favorite parts; hearing people talk about why they love the holidays so much brings you a sense of joy and fulfillment you don’t feel elsewhere. Sunghoon is a good sport about it too despite being a bit apprehensive at first. He graciously paid for your coffee and breakfast consisting of a warm butter croissant. It melts on your tongue and you regret not buying a second one.

People always ask you why you love the holidays so much and you tell them it’s because there’s no greater joy than being surrounded by your loved ones into the new year. You’ve always been a fan of winter despite the sun setting earlier than it does in the summer. Doing winter-related things in the appropriate season makes you happy, especially if you manage to drag one of your friends along for the ride. You draw the line at caroling, though. That’s taking it a bit too far. 

But the real reason is that Christmastime and the beginning of snowfall always marks a vicious cycle of wishing you could be anywhere but the present. Your childhood was riddled with uncertainties and walking on eggshells around your family and friends, and your household often felt like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. You were too afraid of making a mistake and chose to retreat within yourself, operating under the assumption that pleasing everybody else was how to protect yourself and your feelings. 

Prior to moving to Seoul, the start of the cold season was a reminder that your life wasn’t as picture perfect as you liked to imagine it was. No amount of television shows or fictitious scenarios running through your head before falling asleep would ever negate the neglect and absent feeling of joy in your heart as autumn turned into winter. You used to bide your time by hoping the months would roll past you until the springtime arrived. It always felt humiliating to hear your friends tell you about their vacations and all of the presents they received that year when the most your family could do was keep the lights on. That emptiness in the depths of your heart felt like it was void of feeling anything at all, and the holidays served as a reminder that things wouldn’t get better. 

It’s no surprise when Sunghoon turns to you as you both walk through the aisles of jewelry and artwork vendors when he asks you why you love Christmas so much. Somehow, you can’t bring yourself to give the rehearsed spiel you reserve for people who don’t know you very well, and instead give him a half-truth.  

“This time of year is hard for some people and I used to feel like the world would stop spinning if I didn’t try to be at least a little happy when I moved to Seoul a few years ago. I was all alone for the first time in my entire life and barely knew anybody, and had to come up with my own way of cheering myself up since I spent it alone. I did a bunch of things by myself, like going to holiday markets or ice skating. I didn’t mind the solitude that much.” 

“Were you friends with Heeseung and the guys at that time?” 

“Barely. Heeseung and I were only coworkers back then but we sat across from each other every day to be friendly. But I didn’t know him as well as I do now and had a few roommates who went back home for a couple of weeks. It was pretty lonely and I hated feeling like I was stuck when I was the one who wanted to move to the big city.” 

“I think I understand. Christmas is a reminder of overcoming hardship for your first time living by yourself.” 

You nod, a bit relieved that he understands you a little bit. “Kind of, yeah. I didn’t grow up in the happiest household and wanted to do something good for myself since I left my hometown. It feels like a shame if I don’t at least try.” 

“I think that’s the most profound thing anybody has ever said to me.” 

“I sound like one of those generic books with corny quotes.” 

“Can’t be corny if it’s true.” 

You smile at him. “I’ve become a lot better about being positive and optimistic since getting to know the guys, too. Hanging out with them during my second year in Seoul made me realize I wasn’t as alone as I thought I was, and even when they all went home to visit their families, I didn’t feel like the world was collapsing around me when I was alone for a few days. It felt nice to trust people and realize that people cared about me the way I wanted them to.”

“They sound like really great friends.”

“They are. I don’t know what I’d do without them, if I’m being totally honest. I think my mom was worried about me for the first year of me living here because I barely talked about meeting anybody. She used to complain that I always talked about work and that I stayed in too much on the weekends. I used to think she was just berating me but I get it now.”

“Sounds like she wanted you to get out and have fun.” 

“Yeah. I guess my mom was trying to tell me to get a life without directly telling me. She loves it when I send her pictures of myself outside of my apartment and I fill her in on things I’ve been up to that don't have to do with my career. She’s proud of me in that sense but always reminds me that there’s more to life than my job.”

“You have a great mom, from what I can tell. She has your best interest at heart and I think it’s sweet of her to care about you so much. What about your dad? Do you talk to him at all?” 

You look to the ground. “No. He passed away four years ago.” 

“Oh.” Sunghoon nods silently and tucks his hands behind his back. “I’m sorry.” 

“There’s no need to be. It happened a long time ago.” 

Sunghoon nods from your peripheral vision. “Do you see your mom often? Does she visit you in Seoul?” 

You shake your head. “She works at a fish dock and can’t take a lot of time off.” 

“I see. Do you visit her, then?” 

You’re acutely aware of Sunghoon walking beside you but his footsteps fall deaf to your ears when you think about your mother and picture her throwing nets of fish into baskets to sell to merchants in the same afternoon. She wakes up hours before the sun rises to greet fishermen by the docks as soon as daylight breaks and leaves when the space is clean and the fish is sold. You picture her in rubber overalls and boots, her hair tied back in a tight ponytail with a mask covering the lower half of her face to avoid the scent of the fish even though she tells you she’s used to it by now. 

It was hard to deal with her waning hours in your childhood and you often yearned for her presence when you awoke to see no trace of her in your household. You had a knack for differentiating the difference in gait between her and your father, and hearing the heavier steps of his footsteps always made you disappointed. Feeling his presence outside of your bedroom door felt like it was a prison sentence.

In a town that seldom encourages any lifestyle aside from fishing and farming, you always find a bit of solace in creative writing clubs and the school musicals as a way to excuse yourself from the small town life. You’d picture yourself underneath a single spotlight, standing center stage where everybody in the audience regarded you as someone who’d make it far beyond the borders of the isolated town. You imagine them roaring in applause when you took your final bow with your mother sitting in the front row with a bouquet of flowers in her hands.

But life and finances were immediate priorities to keep the roof over your heads and the table full of food. The electricity bill was renewed solely by your mother’s efforts to keep the three of you afloat whereas your father could barely keep a job for longer than a few months before the inevitable discussion of his unemployment. You recall hearing hushed conversations that always escalated to loud arguments just outside of your bedroom door and shoved headphones into your ears to drown out the sound of an unhappy marriage. 

His absence was deafening and there were moments where you preferred a chaotic household over a quiet one. In the mere weeks that followed his death, life seemed to move on for your mother but not for you. She still woke up before dawn and never complained about the cold weather during the winter months or the heavy rainfalls in the summer. Whereas she endured life as if he hadn’t passed, you carried the weight of emotional neglect and dissonance of your relationship with him. 

The funeral was a month later and his cremated remains were spread along the larger lake nearby because he always said he would never choose to move away from water. The boat ride to the deepest part of the lake was uncomfortable and frustrating as your mother and two of his closest friends lamented over his passing, barely touching on the hardship he put your family through in his years being alive. It seemed like everyone was able to forgive him and move on as if every single person in his family went unscathed. Listening to them recite their happiest memories with him felt like a knife twisting in your heart until it stopped beating. 

Moving away was bittersweet, too. The neighborhood you grew up in never felt like a home to you but it would always be nostalgic. It was a plot of land with four walls and a roof, and yet the memories you’ve made haunt every corner of your street like a ghost that refuses to cross into the light. The grey walls look more dreary and dull than it had before and the large tree that grew on the lawn was cut down after years of neglect. Your old house looked brand new and unrecognizable. Everything had changed too quickly for your liking. Even when you packed your last box in the moving van, the emptiness of your bedroom felt like you were saying goodbye to a part of your life you’d never yearn for again. You’ve never looked back since. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought that up.” Sunghoon brings you out of your temporary stupor. 

“It’s alright. I didn’t mean to get lost in my thoughts.” 

He gently knocks his shoulder into yours. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I don’t think talking about even more depressing things is gonna put you in the holiday spirit.” 

“Keeping them to yourself just to make other people comfortable won’t put you in the holiday spirit either.” You know he’s right and begin to gnaw at your inner cheek. 

“I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable.” 

“The nice thing about having friends is that you can say whatever you want and they won't judge you.” Sunghoon smiles at you like he means it. His eyes twinkle underneath the sun and, even if for a moment, you feel like he’s right. 

“My mom and I are close, even if we don’t talk every single day. She works at a fishing dock and that takes up most of her time, and I work at one of the busiest marketing agencies in Korea, which eats up my week. We find the time to talk to each other and I tell her almost everything. I don’t think there’s a secret of mine she doesn’t know. 

“But even so, I love her too much to ever tell her how I’m barely handling everything. It's like I’ve been running into a brick wall every time I try to walk away from grieving. It’s always been the two of us even when he was alive. She raised me the best she could because he was always physically there, but never emotionally present for either of us. His passing left so many questions unanswered and unresolved feelings but it seems like she’s moved on from it.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” 

“It was a long time ago. My dad and I were never that close. There were a few good memories that I think about from time to time, but sometimes they’re ruined by all of the bad things I think about when I think about him. It’s an endless cycle of self sabotaging and I can’t stop myself from doing it. My mom wants me to visit her for a weekend during the holidays and she keeps asking me when I want to come home, but I keep pushing it off because I can’t bring myself to go back to a place that made me unhappy.” 

Sunghoon remains quiet beside you. When you take a peek at him, he looks as if he’s deep in thought as he looks ahead at the environment and watches the children play on the nearby playground. His eyebrows are furrowed only slightly and his mouth forms a downward pout, and you’re left wondering what he's thinking about. 

Finally, he speaks. “Do you feel guilty for putting it off?” 

“Yeah, I do.” 

“It’s almost like you know it's the right thing to do but you can’t bring yourself to do it. People teach you that family is everything, but when they force you to act and feel a certain way, it’s like you’re suffocating.”

“It’s like you took the words right out of my mouth. I keep telling her I’d think about it but I always feel guilty because it’s just an excuse to put off making a decision. I’d feel guilty if I don’t go, but I can’t bring myself to make that trip, even if she’s just a few hours away.” 

“My parents are a bit similar. They’ve given me more than I could ever ask for, and yet I still feel selfish for wanting to explore myself without them right behind me.” 

“I feel like an awful daughter every time I don’t agree to go home. I know she can tell I feel hesitant about it. I don't want to make her worry and I wish this feeling would go away. I can’t face my fears yet.” 

“Pardon if this is a difficult question for you, but…Is your father the main reason why you don’t want to go back?” 

“Yes.” You answer him meekly, as if telling the truth above a whisper will send you straight to purgatory. “I can’t walk in my neighborhood without hearing the sound of his voice when he yelled at me. Being in my house makes me think of all the times he’d threaten to throw me onto the streets for something as stupid as forgetting to wash the dishes. That place is a carousel of bad memories that I never want to think about ever again.”

“I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s normal for me now but it doesn’t make me feel any better if I try to frame it as ordinary. It doesn’t hurt me on most days. I push him out of my mind and focus on the present but the holidays are when I start to think about him and my childhood the most. I’ve never had a peaceful winter. There was always something going on and either Christmas or New Year’s was always ruined.”

“Is that why you love the holidays so much? To override your bad memories and create new ones?” 

“Yes. I never want to feel the way that I did before he passed away and having my friends here with me makes me forget about how sad I get when October rolls around. The weather gets colder but I try to do everything I can to think about how much I have to look forward to now that I’ve got so much time to do whatever I want. I learned that I can’t rely on somebody else to make me feel like I have something to live for.” 

“That’s admirable of you and I hope you know that.” 

“I don’t know if I’d put it that way.”

Sunghoon shakes his head. “It is, though. It sounds like you had a rough childhood and your mom was spread thin with her job that it left you with someone who couldn’t take care of you. I can hear it in the way you talk. You’ve got this determination inside of you whether you realize it or not.”

“Sometimes I feel like it’s all for nothing. I wake up and live my life but it doesn't feel like I’m getting better.”

“You have your whole life ahead of you to understand the grieving process and work through that. You’ll never know if you don’t stick around to find out, will you?” 

“No, I suppose not.” 

“My parents put a lot of pressure on me to perform well in everything. Bad grades weren’t acceptable and I juggled a few different sports to fill my free time. It always felt like they set me on a path that I needed to follow instead of allowing me to figure out myself on my own. I know they meant well and I know they loved me, but sometimes I wonder if they’d love me knowing that I want something different than their future for me. 

“How do you handle it?” 

“I don’t.” Sunghoon shrugs nonchalantly and the hard snow underneath his foot crunches loudly as you near the end of the aisleway. “I keep putting it off like you do. I’m here in Seoul because they agreed to let me explore the city for a while until it’s time for me to return and discuss the future they want for me.” 

“What do they expect you to do?”

Sunghoon purses his lips. “They want me to take over the family business. My father is adamant that I come home and take it seriously because he’s planning on retiring soon and trusts me to be the person who handles everything. They run a local grocery market chain and love that lifestyle but it’s not for me. I want to be here in Seoul and figure out what my life is supposed to look like without them holding onto the dream that I’ll run the company. They’ve made good money off of it and found success as they’re starting to expand, but I don't want to have any part in it.

“I majored in business and operations when I was in university but hated every second of it. I always felt like I was grinding myself to the bones but I did it to make them happy. I never felt like I got the chance to do anything I wanted to do until they agreed to let me move here.” 

“You don’t seem like the kind of guy who’d run a grocery store chain.”

Sunghoon beams at that. “I don’t think so either. I like to think of myself as pretty creative but I don’t know what to do with that. I didn’t take any photography classes in college and I feel like my time is running up.” 

“The beauty of time is that there’s so much of it. You can do anything you want, whenever you want.” 

“Thanks. I’ve been taking a few photography classes here and there.” He pulls out the camera from his pocket and lets you look at it. “Lately, this is how I’ve been getting my creative fix. It feels good to do anything other than learning about how grocery stores operate. I couldn’t care less about that and I feel like myself when I’m behind the camera.” 

“I like that you’re so passionate about photography, Sunghoon. I can hear how much you love it by how you’re talking about it. It’s nice to hear people talk about their hobbies.” 

“He tries to hide a smile but fails, and instead turns the camera on and holds it above his eye. “Can I take a picture of you?” 

“Me?” 

He pulls it away and grins. “Yes, you. Who else would I be talking to?” You stand beside a large collection of snowglobes and pick one up as Sunghoon points the camera at you again. 

“You could’ve been talking to this snowglobe for all I know.” 

“Too bad. I want to take a photo of you. Smile for me.” 

Reluctantly, you do and see the flash go off before putting the snowglobe down and apologizing to the vendor, who doesn’t seem to be displeased with what transpired in front of her. Sunghoon thanks her too with a short bow before turning his camera off and tucking it back inside of his pocket. 

“The fun of film photography is seeing the pictures when they develop. As much as I love learning about lighting and composition, I like it when I don’t think too hard about the photos I take and seeing which ones come out good and which ones don't. It’s always a gamble but it's a safe bet.”

“You’re lucky. I don’t have an artistic bone in my body.” 

He cocks his head. “Maybe not in the way you think you do. Your friends were talking my ear off about how cool you are when it comes to your work. Heeseung told me you’re considering applying for a promotion because of your recent campaigns.” 

You blush and look away from him. “It’s nothing. I don’t think that’s really creative.” 

“You’re amazing, even if you don’t realize it. I think it’s cool that you work so closely with clients and help their vision come to life.” This feels like too kind of a thing for Sunghoon to say after having known you for such a short amount of time, but you can’t deny and say you don’t feel your heart fluttering with every compliment he gives you. 

Instead of responding by stuttering over your words, you drag Sunghoon through the remainder of the market and enjoy multiple warm cups of hot cocoa and try all of the desserts they have to offer. You end up buying a few things for your friends to add to their holiday gifts, even though they’ve been sitting in your bedroom for the past few weeks. Sunghoon reluctantly allows you to cover the lunch bill when you bring up how he bought every beverage and dessert the two of you have tried. He sees you signing the back of the receipt after writing today’s date.

“Why do you do that?” 

You hold the receipt up. “This?” 

“Yeah. Why do you sign it?” 

“I like keeping mementos of things. My fridge is covered in different letters, receipts, and artwork from friends and family. I have an entire box of receipts from important moments that I want to remember. I usually have the people I’m with sign them too and go through the receipts when I feel nostalgic.” 

“Do you think this moment is worth being nostalgic over?” You blush. 

“Yeah, I do.” 

Sunghoon blushes too. “I think that’s really cute, actually.” You slide the pen over to him. 

“Do you want to sign it?” His signature looks like that of a movie star. Even his penmanship is perfect. “There. Now you can look at this receipt when you miss me.” 

“Or I could just knock on your door until you let me in.”

“What says I’ll let you in?” 

“Because I’m the best neighbor you will ever have and even though you say you don’t like Christmas, you have to admit that you’re having fun.” 

Sunghoon smiles at that. “Yeah, you could definitely say that. I might have to come over to your apartment to see this receipt box of yours.” Sunghoon looks at you with a smile that makes you weak in the knees. It feels like you’re the subject of a reality TV show and you’re waiting for the camera crew to come out of their hiding spots and tell you this is all for show, but that never happens. 

“You know where I live,” you say to him coyly, backing away slowly as you throw your trash away. “Knock on my door any time.” 

Sunghoon laughs and you think you’d rather die than never hear it again.

***

You don’t get the chance to see Sunghoon during the week because of your work schedule but find yourself texting him whenever you get the chance. Your evenings are for catching up on TV shows that are halfway completed and messaging him even though he lives across the hallway. He hasn’t made an effort to come over to your apartment and neither have you, but you find yourself making plans with him to go ice skating with him during the following weekend and choose to look forward to that instead of letting your insecurities get the better of you. 

Heeseung asks you for updates and you can’t help but divulge into the whole truth, including every small thing Sunghoon did or said that made you overthink when he dropped you off at your apartment. He’s attentive and teases you every time you get a bit too shy to tell him how much fun you had with Sunghoon but tells you he’s proud that you’re putting yourself out there and making a new friend. Heeseung tells you that he and your other friends have been texting Sunghoon as well and discovered that they share a lot of common interests, and that they’ve got loose plans to see each other for drinks in the future. It warms your heart to know your friends like Sunghoon enough to include him in things, which makes you feel a little crazy considering he isn’t your boyfriend and you’ve officially known him for about three weeks. 

You find yourself standing on ice skates when the weekend approaches and you’re surprised to see that the outdoor rink is empty for a Saturday afternoon. You’re better than the average skater thanks to a childhood interest in figure skating and buying a ticket to the outdoor rink at least once every winter season. Sunghoon tells you he picked it up as a hobby when he was younger but his agility when he glides on the ice tells you he’s better than he claims. 

It’s chilly and your gloves protect your hands from the biting chill. Sunghoon’s alabaster skin looks like it’s glowing underneath the bright sun and his sunglasses make him look like the epitome of cool if you were to look it up in the dictionary. He keeps himself skating fairly close to you but you aren’t sure if that’s because he wants to be in your personal bubble or not. Either way, you sweat underneath your clothes and try to focus on balancing yourself on top of the hard ice. 

Sunghoon paid for your tickets and skate rentals too. He surprised you by signing his name and today’s date on the receipt for your safekeeping, telling you to keep it in your purse so it doesn’t get lost. He said it like it’s a matter-of-fact and not something only you do because you love being nostalgic about happy memories. Your hands shake as you lace up your skates and Sunghoon patiently waits for you to finish putting on the other shoe before taking up space on the ice. That feels warm.  

“I can’t help but like Christmas a little bit more when I’m on the ice.” Sunghoon takes his hands out of his pockets and runs his hand through his hair, and it makes you want to swoon. 

“Why’s that?” 

“Something about it feels like it should be done only in the wintertime. The Christmas music is helping me feel a little more festive anyway.” 

“There used to be a skating rink by my old middle school before it shut down a few years ago. I’d go with my friends as soon as December hit and learn how to skate because the owner saw me beg my parents to let me take lessons, but it was too expensive. She gave them a discount for my first few lessons.” 

“Did you stop skating?” 

“Yeah. They were able to pay for lessons as I advanced because of a bonus my mom received at work and she chose to spend it on me. My dad never cared that much but attended a few of my lessons here and there when my mom couldn’t drive me.”

“Did you compete?” 

“No, it was mostly for fun. I stopped because the financial burden was getting too much. Figure skating is the only thing I regret quitting.” 

“I stopped skating because it got in the way of my studies.” Sunghoon purses his lips. “I wasn’t aiming to go pro, or anything. It was a fun hobby I liked to do after school but my parents said it took up too much of my time because my grades weren’t straight A’s.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

He shrugs. “It’s not like I can’t skate anymore but sometimes it felt like I was being primed to take over their company and I could feel that when I was in high school. Ice skating was my way of trying to tell them that wasn’t the life I wanted, but I don’t think they got the message. I ended up quitting halfway into my sophomore year.”

“Do you miss being on the ice? 

“Sometimes. I competed at local competitions and thought about what my life would’ve looked like if I committed to a professional career, but I decided that wasn’t for me. I wanted to do something creative. Anything different than running a grocery chain.”

You bump Sunghoon’s hip. “Sounds like you’ve found your niche in photography.” 

“Ah, I hope so. I should show you some of the photos I have that aren’t on my wall.”

“Do you have a website or an Instagram for your pictures?” 

“No, but I probably should.” 

“You definitely should. I’ll even be your first follower and tell everyone to follow you.” 

Sunghoon smiles down at you. “How sweet of you.” 

“What happens next? You mentioned that your parents let you come to Seoul for a little while, but what happens after that?” 

His shoulders sulk. “Honestly? I don’t know. I moved into this apartment this past January and they said they’d give me a year to do whatever I want before I take over the business. I’m not so sure that I want to go back.” 

“Does that mean you have to move?” Sunghoon avoids looking at you. 

“Yeah.” 

“Oh.” The silence permeated for a moment. 

“I don’t want to leave, though.” Sunghoon clears his throat and shoves his hands back in his pockets. “I love Seoul and the freedom to do whatever I want. I work at a photography studio part time to pay for myself. I’m lucky that they agreed to pay my rent but that luck’s running out soon because they want me to come back. 

“It’s funny, though. My younger sister’s the one who wants to run this company because she’s studying business operations and loves it. She thrives in this environment and has always been interested in networking with people my parents know. I couldn’t care less about any of that. She has fun at his client parties but all I want to do is hide in a corner.”

“Why won’t they let her take over the business, then?” 

“My parents want to retire soon. They’ve been at it for so long and people are pressuring them to sell the business because everybody who knows them, knows they want out. My sister’s in her last year of university and isn’t ready to take over just yet. They say she needs more experience even though she’s interning with his division until she graduates.”

“So, what? If you take over, what’s she gonna do?” 

“Ideally, she’d be a co-owner the minute she feels ready to do it. But I think the plan for her is to become an assistant and then find another CEO role in another company. My parents don’t really understand that she and I want to switch places because they’re so focused on their retirement. We don’t know how to bargain with them and it’s become a sore point in our relationship.” 

“I’m really sorry, Sunghoon.” 

“My sister and I talk about this every time we see each other and I can tell she’s upset that they aren’t willing to wait out for her. She knows I don’t want this either, but sometimes it feels like she’s barely there whenever I’m with her.”

“It’s like knowing what you want is right in front of you but out of reach.” Sunghoon agrees in a noncommittal hum and you see him look in front of you at the other skaters. 

“I know how much she wants my position and I’d do anything to give it to her. I just need to convince my parents to wait a few years. I don’t mind helping out from time to time like I do now. But I don’t want to become CEO and work in that industry. I want to be a photographer and have my portraits hanging in museums and in people’s living rooms. Is that too much to ask for?” 

“No, it’s not. You’re so passionate when you talk about photography and it’s really endearing.” 

“You think so?” 

“Yeah, I do. It sounds like your sister is passionate about that CEO role as well. I hope the two of you are able to work things out.” 

Sunghoon sighs from beside you. “Me too. My lease is up in the new year and I’ll have to start packing if they don’t agree to wait a few more years until she’s ready. They’re afraid of bringing it outside help because they’d rather keep this in the immediate family.” The thought of knowing Sunghoon might no longer live across from you sends you into a temporary panic. You’ve just gotten to know him and it feels a bit unfair. “But I don’t want to move. I’m happy here.” 

“Are you?” 

He looks at you and smiles. “I am.” 

“I hope you’re able to stay,” you tell him, avoiding eye contact. “I think you’re fun to be around.” 

“Just fun?” Sunghoon teases, bumping his shoulder with yours. “Not charismatic and devastatingly handsome?” 

“No,” you lie, willing the cold air to cool down your warming cheeks. “I would never call you any of those things.” 

“Such a shame, Y/N. You have an incredibly hot neighbor who’s willing to do all of these Christmas things with you.” You smack his bicep. 

“You’re so annoying.” He laughs. 

“You’ll have to try harder to get rid of me.” 

***

The first time Sunghoon saw you was approximately a week after he moved into his apartment. You were wearing blue Bose headphones and looked so determined to unlock your door that Sunghoon chose to keep to himself and not bother you. He couldn’t help but notice the scowl on your face and how it made the perfect pout etch itself onto your lips. 

Ever since then, he’s seen you nearly every time he’s stepped out of his apartment and starts to wonder if this is fate telling him that he should make the first move and approach you because you’re friendly enough to nod at him when he passes you throughout the building. But he’s always been an introverted person who falters when it comes to meeting new people. Growing up around investors and adults who didn’t care about anything other than the economy didn’t do great for his confidence, especially since finance and business was the last thing he wanted to talk about. 

His sister was always more outgoing than he was. Sunghoon used to stutter when girls talked to him and couldn’t fathom the idea that anybody would be remotely interested in him enough to develop romantic feelings for him. It often felt like his personality mirrored everybody else’s for the fear of disappointing people to the point where Sunghoon had a hard time figuring out who he was when he wasn’t with his family or anybody who knew him as he grew up. 

Leaving his home to live in Seoul was something akin to a breath of fresh air. He loved his university days because it was the first and only time that Sunghoon could be himself without being afraid of what others would think of him. He experienced many ‘firsts’ while he was away from home–first college party, hangovers, and having sex for the first time. His first girlfriend made him realize he wanted more to live than to live the predestined plan that his parents set out for him. He didn’t want to marry someone into his family only for him to become a shell of a human being if he took on a job he didn’t want to do. When his girlfriend encouraged him to follow in his father’s footsteps because of how wealthy and successful he could be, Sunghoon broke it off with her and never looked back. 

Working for his parents was supposed to be a trial run. For the first three years after he graduated, Sunghoon agreed to come back and work at the company as an entry level assistant and work his way to the top. The weight of their expectations hung over his shoulders every time he stepped foot inside of the tall, intimidating building, and the anxiety he felt never really left him. Sunghoon worked himself to the bone every single day and continued dreaming of a life that was anything but his reality until his parents came to him with the proposition of slowly transitioning into an executive role. Suddenly, it felt like Sunghoon was running out of time and he proposed a year off before he would begin that process. 

Now, Sunghoon finds himself walking into your apartment with these lingering thoughts at the forefront because his parents are indirectly pressuring him to move back home. He ignores their calls and voicemails to the best of his ability. Spending time with you and your friends is a welcomed distraction because he doesn’t have to think about his future. The four of you give him space to be whoever he wants to be, and that isn’t something he’s felt in a very long time. 

“Your apartment looks like the inside of your brain,” Sunghoon tells you as he looks at your colorful furniture and the artwork decorating your walls. He lingers by the gargantuan posters of different cocktails framed neatly and the bar cart you keep by the kitchen in case you feel like having a drink or two on the weekend. “It’s so…you. 

“I worked really hard to make it that way. My Pinterest boards can tell you that much.” 

“I like that you’ve incorporated dark green. It’s pretty.” 

“Dark green is my favorite color. I’ve always wanted a space that felt like a home rather than a place I live in. I bought this green velvet couch when I got promoted the first time.” 

Sunghoon caresses the back of the couch. “Soft. I like it.”

“Do you want a drink, or anything?” 

“Are you gonna make me something festive?”

“I subjected you to ice skating and Christmas music that seemed to have four songs on shuffle the entire time. I think I’ll spare you tonight.”

“I’d like to try something new, if you’re up for it.” You light up and Sunghoon thinks he wants to make you look like that more often. He follows you into the kitchen and watches as you wash your hand and bring out every ingredient before turning to face him. 

“Have you ever heard of a hot toddy?” 

“Can’t say that I have. What is it?” 

“It’s an alcoholic drink I used to make with my friends from college when it starts to get cold. It’s whiskey, honey, and lemon dissolved in hot water.” 

“I don’t see how that’s festive,” he teases. 

“Trust the process, Park Sunghoon. First, boil water in a kettle.” 

Sunghoon watches you assemble the drink that is a bit too complicated for him but appreciated the effort you put into it. You tell him about your friends from college and how some of them have moved far away while others are people you see every once in a while. He hears about how you became a crowd pleaser during one particularly cold December night the day before finals and ended up making dozens of hot toddy’s for the people who lived on your dorm floor. You show him a picture of the makeshift tip jar your roommate made you to collect tips from students who wanted to pay you for the drink and went home with enough money to make you forget about finals. 

You tell him that your friends love this drink too, even if they downplay just how much. You hand him your phone and let him scroll through pictures you took of Heeseung and Jake the last time you made the drinks for everybody. They were hanging off of each other after begging you to add in a shot more than necessary every time you made a new cup. Jay helped you set a makeshift bed on the couch and floor for them to sleep off the alcohol and Sunghoon laughs at their less than flattering faces when you smile with two thumbs up as they pass out from the alcohol. 

Sunghoon has deduced that being here feels comfortable. It’s crazy to him that the four of you managed to weasel your way into his life as quickly as you did. He finds himself playing video games with the guys when they come home from work and they add him into their group chat within a few days of knowing him. Sunghoon’s always had a difficult time keeping friends around because he feels too awkward to socialize and feels like he never learned how to make friends around his age because of the environment he grew up in. He takes a picture of you on his camera despite your protests when he feels like words are too much.

Getting to know you has felt like the climax of a romance film. He’s spent so much time pining after you from afar, from thinking about what your favorite foods might be to what kind of music you listened to. You always looked so polished and head strong, something Sunghoon wished he could be. He’d lie to himself and say he’s attracted to you because you give off a sense of self-confidence that he’s never seen in anybody else, which is partially true, but spending time with you has only made him fall for you even harder. 

He’s only known you for a few weeks but it’s felt like he’s known you for a lifetime. Sunghoon tells you things he’s too afraid to tell other people or admit out loud. You bring out a side of him that wants to make a life for himself instead of listening to people who don’t have his best interests in mind. He loves it when you share your interest in Christmas and winter with him because it feels like he gets to know you better and it takes his mind off of his future. Plus, it helps that you look too cute when you start to get excited about things. Sunghoon can’t bear to be the reason why you would ever cease to feel like that. 

The more the two of you sip on the warm alcoholic cocktail, the more Sunghoon feels his shoulders start to relax. Whether it’s because he hasn’t eaten anything in a while or because you’re giving him butterflies, he doesn’t know. He hasn’t told anybody about you because he doesn’t know who he’d tell and he can’t believe he’s standing in your apartment making conversation with you. You laugh at his jokes and give him a tour of your place as he sips on his drink, and the warmth spreads throughout his chest. Suddenly his sweater feels too hot. 

You let him inside of your bedroom and it’s neat, with keepsakes lining your shelves and books on your walls. You’ve got a few floating bookshelves he admires and gawks at because he thinks it makes your room look that much cooler. You’ve got a few pictures of yourself, friends, and family along your desk and a makeup vanity with an impressive mirror on it. Everything in your room feels like it has a place and a reason to be there and Sunghoon can’t help but feel privileged that you’re letting him inside, like he’s supposed to be there too. 

“Is this your box of receipts?” he asks when he sees a small box without a lid on it. There are dozens of receipts haphazardly lying in there and he takes one out when you nod at him. There’s a receipt for a late night doughnut run, a printed copy of the receipt from the couch in your living room, and your first trip to the doctor. He digs to see if he can find the one from the market. “Where’s the receipt from when we went to the market?” 

You point at the board above your desk filled with pictures and other receipts too. Sunghoon looks at it and spots your handwriting and his next to a picture of you as a child. It makes his heart melt a little bit. 

“I like to keep really good memories up here.” 

Sunghoon feels like he could cry. “I’m really happy you had a fun time. I did too, but I didn’t want to come off as weird and tell you that.” 

“I don’t think it’s weird at all. If anything, I didn’t want to come off as too eager to hang out with you when we got back home.”

“Is this a good time for me to confess that I wanted to hang out with you instead of parting ways?” You look away from him to hide your smile and he can’t help but feel his heart skip a beat. 

“Now you’re just buttering me up,” you say in lieu of an answer. You stand impossibly close to him while he looks at the pictures on the board. 

“You were such a cute kid.” 

“I was cuter when I wore pigtails and when I was missing my two front teeth, that’s for sure.” 

“I think you’re doing fine just now.” 

You blush again. “Okay, you’re definitely trying to make me flustered.” 

“Is it working?” Sunghoon grins when you hide your face in his arm. “I’ll take that as a yes.” 

“Anyway!” You pull yourself off of him and close the receipt box while he laughs behind you. “That’s enough of that.”

“It’s getting late and I think you put too much whiskey in this.” Sunghoon looks at you with another teasing grin but he’s starting to like catching you off guard like this. 

“I’m not listening to anything you say because you said it was just enough.” Even your faux pout is cute. “Thanks for going ice skating with me.”

“Thanks for making this for me.” He holds up his empty cup and you lead him to the kitchen. He offers to wash your dishes for you but you decline and forcibly lead him to the front door when he starts to protest. The exhaustion from today has started to tire him out and his eyes begin to droop when he steps outside. 

“Goodnight, Sunghoon. Thank you for today.” You look up at him with an expression he can’t read. 

“I had a lot of fun. I mean it. You might change my mind about Christmas after all.” 

“There’s nothing I can’t do, Hoonie.” He blushes at the nickname. “Text me when you’re home, okay?”

He snorts. “Sure thing. I’ll be sure to text you in five seconds after I lock my door.” 

“Good. Who knows? This is a big hallway. Maybe you’d drip and fall a few steps into your journey.” Sunghoon thinks you’re too cute when you’re coy like this. 

“I’ll even text you when I’m tucked in bed so you know I made it safely.” 

The last thing he expects you to do is kiss his cheek. He feels your lips on his skin and his entire body becomes frigid, like he suddenly forgot how to breathe. Sunghoon thinks he might trip on his way back to his apartment at this rate. 

“Goodnight, Hoonie. Text me when you’re home.”

***

You don’t get the chance to spend any time with Sunghoon for the next couple of weeks because your work leaves you too tired to do anything outside of your apartment since it requires a few hours during your weekends. Sunghoon seems to understand and doesn’t push you to go out with him too much. Part of you wants to invite him over to your place for something casual, but your tendency to overthink prevents you from putting that offer on the table. 

Heeseung can tell you’re overwhelmed when he sees you. You hide yourself away in the confines of your office and don’t make conversation with him like you typically would. The start of the holidays mark a tumultuous time for you and he knows that better than anybody else. He can’t help but be a little concerned when you don’t join him for lunch like you typically do if meetings don’t interfere. When he sees you eating at your desk with a pathetic looking sandwich with a single bite taken out of it, he walks into your office without knocking and replaces his lunch with yours. 

“Don’t even think about scolding me for coming here unannounced.” Heeseung gestures at your desk. “Eat.” 

“You don’t deserve to eat a poorly made sandwich.” 

“Oh, and you do?” 

You groan. “No. But I was in a rush and forgot to pack a lunch last night.” 

“What’s going on? I’ve never seen you like this.” 

“My mom keeps asking me if I’m going to come home and I feel so guilty that I keep dodging it. I know she means well, but that’s what makes it worse. She keeps telling me she wants to have one weekend with me for Christmas, even if it isn’t on the actual holiday because she hasn’t seen me in a while. 

“I feel like I’m disappointing her, you know? It’s hard to leave the bubble I’ve created for myself because I know I have to face all of the bullshit I faced with my dad when I go back. It feels like I become the teenage version of myself who couldn’t express her feelings and kept everything bottled up inside. I want to forget all of that. I don’t want to be that kind of person anymore.” 

“Do you want to go?” 

���I do, but I can’t bring myself to actually buy a train ticket. I want to go home and not feel this contempt but I can’t help it. I hate it there. I hate walking through the hallways because I can hear his footsteps and the way he used to yell at me when I did something wrong. I can’t escape these feelings when winter starts. I mean, you know me. The holidays only became what it is because I try not to think about how fucking awful it used to be.” 

“You can’t run from everything forever, though.” Heeseung looks at you like he’s trying to drill his words into your head. “You’ve already done the work to push past it.”

“I know, but it’s hard to be in a place that feels like an empty home. I’m so nostalgic for everything I loved as a kid but it gets tainted when I think about my dad and how hard it was for my mom to raise me by herself. All I can think about is how I felt when I couldn’t do anything to save myself. But on the other hand, I feel so guilty for missing him too. He had his moments and I try to think about that instead of thinking about the bad ones. He’s not here to make me feel like I have to watch my back, but why does it feel like I still have to?”

“You’ve been through a lot and you have to understand that the average person doesn’t go through a lifetime of pain and trauma before they turn twenty-one. It feels like you’re stuck because there aren’t many people who can relate to you.”

You sigh. “I guess so. It feels lonely and isolating. It doesn’t matter how many times I open up to a therapist about it either. It always feels like I’m running so fast that I end up tripping over myself.” 

“So, what are you gonna do about it? Sit here and mope or make a decision?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“It is, though. You’re somebody who hates waiting around for people to save you. The only way to resolve anything is to pick a decision and stick with it until the end. If you regret it, at least you can say you tried.” 

“It’s really hard to self sabotage when I’m friends with you.” 

Heeseung laughs at that. “I know. I won’t let you do that either.” 

“I think I mostly feel bothersome for always talking about the same old problem to you.” 

“It doesn’t bother me. I care about you and you clearly need to talk to somebody who knows you inside and out. I’ve seen how difficult it is for you to open up and the fact that you’ve grown so close with Sunghoon in a short amount of time is incredible to me.” 

You groan and slump over your desk. “Don’t remind me. I haven’t properly seen him in weeks and feel awful that I have no energy to hang out whenever he asks me to. I hope he doesn’t think I’m ghosting him.”

“He doesn’t.” 

“How could you possibly know that?” Heeseung pulls out his phone and lets you glance over his texts with Sunghoon. 

“He asked if you were okay a while back and said he was worried since you kept declining to go out. His first thought was that you might’ve been sick or burned out, not that you were ghosting him.”

“Burned out is definitely the right answer.” 

Heeseung smiles at his phone. “Hoon was worried that he was coming off too strong by texting you so much. I told him you’d probably appreciate hearing from him more than giving you space.”

“Since when do you call him ‘Hoon’?”

“We’re close like that.” 

“That makes me nervous.” 

“I’ll be sure to divulge your crush on him while we hang out tonight.” You throw the cap of a pen at his chest. “He said he missed you, though.” 

“I miss him.” You groan a little too loudly for your liking. “I haven’t had any energy these last couple of weeks and I’ve been overthinking the hell out of kissing his cheek when I last saw him.”

“Sorry, you did what?!” 

“I kissed his cheek when he left my apartment and I can’t tell if I regret it or not.” 

“Dude, Sunghoon is clearly not weirded out by that,” Heeseung says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “He wouldn’t be checking in with me about your mental state if he thought it was weird.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Positive. You don’t have to do anything crazy with him either. I get the feeling he’s the type of guy who’d appreciate doing anything as long as it’s with people he enjoys being around. He’d probably enjoy it if you two stayed in and watched movies.” 

“I can do that.” You pull your phone out and search for his contact. “I could do a movie and takeout.” 

“See? There's nothing to be worried about. You’re just stressed out about going home. Take it one day at a time.”

Sunghoon agrees to have a quiet night in when the weekend approaches and you find yourself sitting in his living room instead of your own. He tells you to come over in your pajamas with your worries left at his doorstep and asks you to let him take care of everything, including ordering takeout and paying for it. He tells you he’s up for watching a Christmas movie, but you’ve had your fill and the two of you decide to watch reruns of Community on Netflix as a way to relax through laughter and comedy. 

“I’m sorry that you’ve had a rough couple of weeks,” he says as he sits next to you on the couch. He’s encouraged you to put your feet up and sit however you’d like, and crossing your legs feels like a respectable position. He sits at a short distance from you, far enough that you aren’t touching but close enough that you can feel the warmth radiate off of him. 

“It’s that time of year. Everybody wants answers but nobody is willing to put in the work. It gets like this every December because everybody’s trying to finish strong before winter break.” 

“Still though, the guys made it seem like this was an everyday occurrence for you and seeing you so tired made me worried.” Your heart skips a beat. 

“Ah, well…my friends know I can push through anything. Jay’s the one who understands me the most when I get like this. I’ve been getting better at asking for help and they know I’ll come to them if I need to.”

“What about when you don’t?”

“Don’t what?”

“Ask for help?”

You turn to look at him. “I guess they force me to open up until I get annoyed and tell them to leave me alone. But that usually doesn’t last very long and I cave in since they never seem to listen to me anyway.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind for the future.” Sunghoon takes a small handful of the popcorn sitting on the coffee table and shoves it in his mouth. “You have good friends and I can tell they love you.”

“I owe them a lot, if I’m being honest. Sometimes it feels like I don’t do enough for them.” 

“You must be a good friend if they care about you that much, too. Don’t sell yourself short.” Sunghoon seems to see you in ways you can barely see yourself and his constant reminders always leave you speechless. 

“How’ve you been? How’s your photography class and work?”

“My classes wrapped up last week. It was bittersweet. I love my instructor and I’m sad that he and I are parting ways, but he’s taught me a lot that I’ll definitely remember when I pick up a camera. Work is fine as well, it’s getting a little busy because of the holidays but it’s nothing I can’t manage. They know about the situation with my parents so we’re trying to take it as it comes.” 

“Have you resolved that?” 

Sunghoon shakes his head. “Not yet…It feels like they don’t get it at all.” 

“I’m really sorry, Hoonie.” 

“It is what it is. I’ll miss Seoul a lot for more reasons than one.” He looks at you and your heart skips another beat. 

“Living here won’t be the same without running into you, I’ll tell you that much.”

“I’ll cherish those moments forever,” he teases. “I don’t know what I’m going to do but I’m going to try to convince them to hold off on retiring for a few years. I talked to our landlord and managed to negotiate one more month when I told him about what’s happening. I have enough to pay for that and I’m a little shocked that he agreed.” 

“Must be a Christmas miracle.” He looks at you with an unreadable expression. 

“Maybe. Have you decided if you’re going back home or not?”

You pick at your fingers. “I’m still on the fence about it. She called me yesterday and slipped that question in halfway through the conversation. I can tell she’s empathetic about it, though. She knows how hard it is for me to be back home with everything that happened with my dad. Part of me wants to go because I miss her, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Train tickets are probably too expensive anyway.”

“I’ll drive you.” 

You turn to face him. “Sunghoon, it’s a two hour drive.”

“And?”

“I’m not making you drive two hours to my house and two hours back to Seoul.” He looks at you like this is the easiest decision he’s ever had to make. 

“You’re not forcing me to do anything. I want to. This has been weighing on your mind for a long time and I don’t want you to miss out on spending the holidays with your mom just because of how much a ticket would cost to get you there.”

“Sunghoon–”

“It’s no sweat off of my back. I’m serious about it. I don’t have classes anymore and my work schedule is flexible. Plus, I think it could be cute to see where you grew up.” 

“That’s…Really sweet of you.” Sunghoon turns to look at you too and smiles with those plush lips you think about kissing a little too much. You try to reel it in because he’s your friend and that’s what friends do, right? 

“You’ve done a lot for me. The least I could do is drive you home.” 

You don’t say anything. You can’t say anything. Sunghoon sees you from the corner of his eye as you turn back to face the TV, and he watches you try to hide a smile. He turns away and feels his own cheeks flush at the thought of seeing you in your hometown, even if it’s for a short while. Above all, Sunghoon wants this Christmas to feel like it’s the best one you’ve ever had on the account that you’ve made Seoul feel like home for him. 

The night progresses and you switch to a movie halfway through the night until you yawn. Sunghoon grabs a blanket and puts it over the both of you instead of suggesting you go back to your apartment. Somehow, this gesture feels kinder than anything anybody has ever done for you. 

You’re both acutely aware of how close your bodies are because of the blanket but neither of you care all that much. Your shoulder keeps bumping into his every time you move and eat the popcorn he’s provided, and Sunghoon silently wishes that he could pull your body against his once and for all. He doesn’t, choosing to savor the way your side touches him instead of doing anything that might make you uncomfortable. But somewhere in your tired stupor, you put your head on his shoulder and yawn. 

“Thank you everything,” you say quietly. “You don’t know how much it means to me that you’d drive me home.”

“I’d do anything for you.” Sunghoon says it a bit too quickly but he doesn’t regret telling you that. 

“I wish I could repay you.”

“Being here is enough. Can I try something?” 

When you nod, Sunghoon maneuvers himself so that his back rests against the arm of the couch with his body spread across the cushions without disrupting you too much. You don’t fight against him when he scoops you into his arms and places your head on his chest. You feel his heartbeat in this position. It’s slow and melodic, unlike your fantasies of hoping the cute guy next door would have a rapid heart rate every time he saw you. But you think you like this better; Sunghoon seems to be comfortable around you. 

For the fear of touching you too much, Sunghoon keeps his hands by his side and pulls them away when he realizes he’s touching your exposed skin. You let go of every thought telling you to run away and grab his arms to wrap them around your own body, nuzzling your way close to his with your eyes closed in contentment. 

In lieu of saying goodnight, you kiss his chest and Sunghoon thinks he might be on cloud nine.

***

In the time between telling your mother you’d be home for a couple of days over the weekend to arriving at her doorstep, your friends have expressed their happiness in your decision. Jake couldn’t help but feel emotional when you told him and you get the feeling that Jay always knew the decision you’d make. Heeseung chose to forego teasing you out of solidarity for this vulnerable moment and wishes you all the best. However, all three of them did not hold back in telling you every joke in the book when you told them Sunghoon was dropping you off and picking you up. 

Sunghoon drives seamlessly and you silently thank him for it because approaching the familiar quietness of your neighborhood makes you feel somewhat uneasy. Your stomach turns in flips when you see that same house you used to look up at whenever you’d come home from school. It’s still jarring to see that only your mom’s car is parked on the street with your father’s car nowhere to be seen. It’s a physical reminder that he isn’t here and you don’t know if you’re relieved or not. She greets you the moment Sunghoon parks his car and the feeling of melting into her arms is indescribable. 

“I missed you,” she whispers into your hair. “It’s been so long.”

“I know, Eomma. I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be. You’re here now and that’s all I care about. You’re Sunghoon, right?” He turns to look at you as he pulls your duffle bag out of his car and bows at a full ninety degrees for just a second too long. She finds it amusing and tells him so when he stands up. 

“Pleasure to meet you. Y/N has great things to say about you.”

“Oh, trust me. She has good things to say about you too.”

“Okay!” You clap your hands and grab the bag from Sunghoon, turning your body away from him. “I think we’ve had a long car ride and can find literally anything else to talk about.” 

“I should get going before traffic gets bad. It was nice to meet you.”

“Come in for some tea!” 

She doesn’t give him the chance to respond but he doesn’t seem to mind. Sunghoon takes off his shoes and leaves them in the corner as your mom presents the two of you with a freshly brewed pot that reminds you of your childhood. The interior looks the same as it has since you last visited and that big family portrait still hangs above the couch in the living room. Your father smiles back at you like he’s happy you’re here. 

Sunghoon chooses to remain quiet as he drinks his tea to give you and your mom some time to catch up. He feels a bit awkward in a stranger’s home when this trip was supposed to be about you and your family, but he can’t say he isn’t pleased when the warmth of the tea starts to settle in his chest. Photos of you from your childhood line the walls and he can’t help but comment about how adorable you look in pink bows and frilly dresses. You look as cute then as you do now, but that’s something he will never tell you. 

Your mom brings out a small booklet of photos from your past, too. You try to prevent her from showing Sunghoon but he laughs it off and sits with pictures of you from elementary school in his hands. He tries not to let it show that his hands are shaking because you let your chin rest on his shoulder as you peer over him. He can feel your warm breath on his neck and it sends him into a short spiral until you’re scooping up the book and handing it back to your mom with a bashful smile on your face. 

He can see that you’re trying your best not to feel like that same, awkward mess of a teenage girl when your mother tells him stories about you from childhood. She tells him about the first time you performed in a dance recital and how you were center stage only to accidentally trip on your shoelaces that nearly sent you flying into the audience. She tells him about your first overseas vacation to Disney World in Florida because it was the first time you learned you hated humidity and people who didn’t know how to drive. 

With every hour that passes by, Sunghoon starts to think he understands you better. He knows you to be somebody who’s independent and confident, but the idea that you had to work hard towards it was lost on him until he came to visit your hometown. He understands why you felt so trapped here between your mother’s rants about how difficult your dad was to the limited opportunities for you to thrive. She tells him a bit about how you were emotionally unavailable in your teenage years despite your protests (as mothers tend to do), but she finishes her thought by telling Sunghoon how she’s always thought you were destined for things greater than what a small fishing town could ever offer you. He pretends like he’s got allergies when he feels his eyes watering up. 

Sunghoon asks to stretch his legs and by the time the night approaches, he’s agreed to stay over and spend more time visiting your favorite places and where you grew up. Your mom tells him not to feel like he’s intruding, as she rarely gets to spend time with anybody in your life, and he decides that this little vacation might be good for him. He offers to pay for dinner and he thinks he’s gained some approval for that. 

Time passes by too quickly for his liking. You’ve taken him everywhere you can think of–your old ice skating rink, your favorite boba shop, the schools you’ve attended–but it still feels like he’s barely scratched the surface of getting to know you before adulthood. He loves that you’re so open about yourself in a way that he’s never been able to. You talk his ear off about drama that you haven’t thought about in decades and he listens and feels several different emotions on your behalf despite not knowing anybody you’re talking about. He parks his car in the parking lot of your high school and the two of you spend an hour eating takeout from your favorite sandwich shop and gossipping about the entire town just for the two of you to hear. 

You talk about your dad on occasion and he doesn’t pry you to talk about it either. Sunghoon hears the melancholy in your voice when you think about old memories and missing him in ways you’ve never been able to experience before. You tell him that it’s been four years since you lost yourself. You also tell him that you don’t want to live the kind of life where you’re held back by his opinion anymore. He’s here in the walls and all over town, and the weight of missing him doesn’t feel like a burden anymore. It feels like a step towards freedom to be who you are, free from the anchors that kept you sheltered. Sunghoon knows your mother must be proud of you for making this decision because he sees it in her smile when she watches you laugh.

He decides he wants this kind of life; Sunghoon wants to be supported by his family when it comes to what he wants to do with his life. He wishes his parents believed in him as much as your mother believes in you. Seeing her so open and welcoming to a complete stranger and bragging about your accomplishments to him makes Sunghoon yearn for that kind of unconditional love too. Even in the moments when you get quiet over unpleasant memories that seem to resurface from coming back home, it seems that she helps you through it and doesn’t shame you for feeling the way that you do. It’s something Sunghoon desperately wishes he could do instead of entertaining conversations about taking over his family’s business. 

If there’s one thing you’ve taught Sunghoon, it’s that he can fall as many times as he wants so long as he chooses to get back up again. He’s come to love how open you are when it comes to people and experiences because he’s starting to understand just how difficult your childhood was until you found your footing in Seoul. Being alone meant exploring who you were without the opinions of people who wanted to hold you back. Even if people gave you reasons to shun the world and expect apologies from everybody under the sun, you hold your chin up with dignity and choose to move on instead of dwelling on people and things that don't matter. He wishes he could be like that too.

“Are you happy?” 

Sunghoon stares at your ceiling in your childhood bed when he asks you that. He’s a bit surprised that he’s allowed to be here at all and offered to take the couch, but your mother said the two of you are adults and don’t need her permission. The two of you were blushing messes when she left you alone to unpack your clothes while she gave him an extra toothbrush and old clothes from her brother who left them at her place. Both of you decided that it would be too awkward to try to not cuddle on your surprisingly comfortable twin bed and he chooses to use this as an excuse to touch you. He hasn’t heard a complaint from you and the feeling of your body wrapped up in his is exhilarating.

“I am, yeah. This weekend was a lot better than I thought it would be.”

“But are you happy with your life? Are you happy with yourself?” You push yourself off his body and look down at him.

“Where’s this coming from?” 

“I kept thinking about my life and my parents for the past couple of days. Your mom’s sweet and I can tell she believes in you whenever she tells me about your life here. It sounds like she did her best to raise you between work and your dad, and I can never imagine how stressful your childhood must've been with him in the house. I see how much you’ve grown from everything. It’s inspiring.”

“I don’t know if inspiring is the right word. I think I was dealt with shitty cards and expected an apology from the world without realizing that I had to work on myself in order to receive it.”

“That’s the thing, though. I can see that you’ve put in the work to become a better person. My parents aren’t as supportive as your mom and I kept thinking to myself: ‘Do I want to go through with a life that’s already planned for me when I know I’ll be unhappy?’”

Sunghoon looks up at you when he feels you brush his hair from his eyes. He can’t really tell what you’re thinking about as you look all over his face but the gentle touch of your fingertips puts him at ease as his mind begin to race. 

“I am happy. There are moments where I feel like the world is crumbling around me, but I know tomorrow is around the corner. I used to think that there wouldn’t be people out there who would ever believe all of the things I went through, but meeting the guys and making a life for myself makes me think otherwise. I’m happier because of it.” 

“That makes me feel hopeful.”

“Does it?” 

He nods and closes his eyes when your fingertip draws an invisible pathway across his cheek and down the bridge of his nose. You get dangerously close to his lips but your hand merely cups his jaw and your simple, gentle touch is enough for Sunghoon to realize he’s fallen far too hard to give up on his future, especially if you’re in it. 

“Yes,” he says in a whisper. “You make me feel like I could do anything if I try hard enough.” 

Sunghoon stares at you like you’ve hung up every star in the galaxy for him to see. When he looks at you, everything he’s been too afraid to say comes bubbling to the surface and his life beyond today becomes as clear as day. He wants to wake up next to you every morning and listen to your childhood stories until you run out of breath. He wants to spend every Christmas with you and fill your memory box with as many receipts with his signature on it. There is no future without you in it. 

You kiss him so tenderly that Sunghoon thinks he might be imagining things. Your palm is warm to the touch and he’s quick to react, pulling your body closer to his while his arms enclose your body against him. Sunghoon doesn’t know how many nights he’s spent imagining what your lips taste like or the way you sound with his mouth on yours, but nothing could ever compare to the real thing. 

He maneuvers you onto his lap because of the limited space on your twin bed and his body feels like it’s set ablaze when the back of your thighs touch his lap. You’re wearing thin shorts and an oversized shirt while he’s wearing clean basketball shorts from his car and a shirt your mom let him borrow. He feels your breasts push against his muscular chest as you lean against him for support and tilt your head to capture his mouth like you’re trying to taste all of him at once, and Sunghoon thinks he likes it when you’re desperate for him too. 

The weight of your body on his lap inevitably makes him hard and the quiet gasp into his mouth makes Sunghoon buck himself up into you. You grip onto his shoulders and dig push him back down onto the mattress to keep yourself steady and he’s about to apologize for crossing a boundary until you grind yourself onto him too. You tug at the hem of his shirt and he complies, taking it off in one fell swoop. 

“You’re really hot, you know that?” 

“Would you believe me if I told you I work out for you?”

“Not even a little bit.” Sunghoon laughs as he pulls your shirt off of your body delicately, cupping your breasts in his hands as he gives them a soft squeeze. 

“You’re perfect,” he whispers. “So perfect.” 

He’s hard underneath you, so much so that you feel him through your thin sleeping shorts. His cock is situated between your folds and every small movement you make is enough to make him feel like he’s losing his mind. Sunghoon holds your breasts in his hands as you push yourself off of his lap just to sink your weight back down. He gives your nipples a squeeze periodically and he makes a mental note when you throw your head back and moan. 

“I’m so wet,” you whisper when you sit upright, your hips continuing to grind against him. The way your voice cracks makes him feel better about being desperate to feel you. “This feels so good, Hoonie. But we can’t. My mom’s down the hall.” 

“Do you trust me?” 

Seeing you nod is enough for him. Sunghoon’s thankful your mattress isn’t loud or bumping against the wall. He temporarily pulls you off of his body to kick off his shorts and feels a bit shy when you stare at how big and hard he is through his boxers. You push your lap back down onto his and he refrains from moaning too loud, silencing himself by pulling your lips down to his by your neck. His hands wander to your ass as you feel his toned chest and abdomen too. He pushes and pulls your body over his cock and moves his lips to kiss up your jawline. 

“I wish I could fuck you properly like you deserve,” he says, leaving a wet trail of kisses on your skin. 

“I want that too.” 

“I’d worship every inch of you.” He uses his hands to press you against his lap until you bite back a moan. “I want to know what you feel like.”

“Fuck.”

“Cute.” 

He kisses your chin and wraps his arms around your lower back to keep you in place before thrusting his hips up to meet yours. Sunghoon catches you by surprise and you bite his shoulder to keep yourself from moaning too loud every time his clothed cock bumps against your clit. He’s so warm underneath you and this kind of touch is one that you’ve been craving longer than you’d like to admit. 

The passion is short lived and the two of you don’t care how quick it takes the two of you to come undone in the quiet of your bedroom. He kisses you and tries to swallow the sound of your lips smacking against one another, too afraid that one wrong move could make your mother distrust him. Sunghoon’s kisses make you dizzy but you cling onto him like he’s your lifeline until your high ebbs away, and the two of you clean up before getting a well deserved, good night’s rest. 

***

Sunghoon can barely keep his hands off of you when the two of you arrive back to your apartment. He tells you to come back to his place and have a cup of tea with him before you part ways and you agree. The entire car ride home made you feel like you might as well be living in one of your daydreams because he didn’t mind it when you pulled one of his hands from the steering wheel to hold it the entire drive back. He’d switch from holding your thigh to kissing the back of your hand every time you changed the music. The two of you sang your hearts out to pop songs from the 2000s and pretended to perform in front of an audience when dramatic ballads came on shuffle.

Things fall into place on the ride back. You decide to pursue a promotion when it opens in the new year and text your friends to tell them you’re safe and with Sunghoon. They make you promise to tell them all about this past weekend and try to get you to reveal your presents, but you refuse and include Sunghoon in all of the jokes they tell you in your group chat before they ask if he wants to be added into the main one. In every sense of the word, it felt like the two of you found a home in each other. 

He lets you change into fresh clothes and shower before you knock on his apartment. Sunghoon feels his heartbeat picking up when you show up in a tank top and shorts with no bra on, and he feels a bit like a teenage boy seeing a girl semi-naked for the first time. The two of you talk about your trip and the next festive thing you’ll do when he feels himself starting to get worked up. All Sunghoon can think about was keeping his promise to you when he made you orgasm through your panties. He wants you to know that he loves you, so he decides to tell you that when you stand up to put your mug in his sink.

“I love you. I’m telling you right now that I’d do anything you asked me to.” 

Sunghoon squeezes your hips with his fingers like he’s trying to convey what he says through his touch. His breath is warm as it fans against your lips and the heat of his apartment makes your cheeks and neck warm up from where you stand. He breathes heavily, as if his confession carries a great deal of weight to it. Every word he speaks drips with honesty and the loyalty behind it scares you. 

And yet, you can’t bring it in yourself to pull away when he kisses you. 

His soft, pillowy lips approach your own with caution. You feel him hover above you until he’s ghosting his mouth against yours as if you’re a magnet he can no longer resist. Sunghoon’s lips descend upon your own and he holds your body tightly against him like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go. 

You both move like two slow dancers, swaying to the silent melody only audible by those who pay close enough attention. It’s at this moment you understand why poets and romantics speak of a hidden language only two lovers know. Sunghoon’s confession strengthens the feelings you’ve harbored for him and something about the way he touches you makes you feel like you can let go of your inhibitions. He’s brought your eagerness bubbling to the surface and you find that the harder you try to ignore your love for him, the louder your heart beats inside of your chest. 

You can’t help but think about how perfectly you slot against Sunghoon when you wrap your arms around his neck. He squeezes your hips the more you push into him and kisses you like he’s trying to commit the way your lips feel to memory. All of your worries melt into the floor the moment Sunghoon pulls away to look at your face under the ambient lighting and his gentle touch brushes your hair out of your face. His delicate thumbs come to cup your jawline and rub the apples of your cheeks as if you were made of something breakable. Sunghoon looks at you like this with the kind of gaze that can only be described as fondness. He looks at you with an accumulation of his feelings and desires of being wanted for who he is, not who he’s supposed to be. 

When Sunghoon looks at you, what he sees before him is a strong girl who braves the toughest weather in a tiny row boat with nothing but her wits and a single paddle. It’s your intelligence and patience that steers you away from the turbulent waters. You’re a beacon that lights a dark tunnel and deep down, Sunghoon knows that you’re his guiding light that’ll lead him home. It was your charm and passion that drew him in, and it’s your resilience and willpower that makes him want to stay. 

“I am nothing without you.” Sunghoon kisses both of your cheeks and his warm lips feel like comforting reminders that he’ll always be with you. 

“Hoonie…”

“What is it?” 

“Kiss me.” 

He does, with a slow pass at your lips while his hands cradle your cheeks in his hands and the tenderness of his touch feels something akin to puzzle pieces falling into place. The feeling is intense and overwhelming the more you drink in Sunghoon’s words to you and in this very moment, you allow yourself to believe he means what he says. Your hands find perch on his wrists as you grip onto him to anchor yourself. Sunghoon keeps kissing you as he puts one hand behind your head while the other moves to your upper back. He’s got you, even when you fall onto the mattress behind you when he dips your body backwards. 

Sunghoon hovers above your body and cages you underneath him as his warm mouth pushes against you rougher than before. He squeezes your hip until both legs are wide open enough for him to slot his body between them. It’s like he can’t get enough of the way you feel against his body because he finally has you exactly where he wants you. Sunghoon’s heart beats loudly in his chest that he feels the vibrations in his ears the more he listens to the way you two kiss, paired with your hands pushing up his shirt. Your fingernails rake down his abdomen and it leaves him a panting mess while he sucks in his stomach at the intense feeling. Sunghoon pushes a quiet moan against your mouth and you drink it up like it’s water. 

“I want to see you.” 

You whisper your incantation against his lips and the desperation in your voice enchants him. Sunghoon moves his fingertips to the hem of his shirt and briefly disconnects your mouth to pull it over his body completely before coming back down to kiss you again. He feels your hands spread across his shoulders and arms, squeezing his biceps while you moan at their firmness. They touch his chest and down to his sculpted abdomen when he jolts and he emits that same, breathy moan from before. 

Sunghoon chases your lips when you push his chest away from you and it takes two tries until he’s pulling his body back. The way you look underneath him does not compare to when he dreams of you like this. You’re breathtaking and alluring with your hair fanned out and lips wet and swollen from his kiss. He loves the way you look at him like he’s your consolation prize for befriending him all that time ago, and Sunghoon thinks he loves the feeling of you looking at his body like you’re a step from objectifying him. It feels like you’re finally taking what you want without hesitating to, like you’re not ashamed of feeling so intensely about him. That guard you keep up, the one placed there in protection against those who have the intention of abandoning you, has vanished only for him.

“Touch me.” 

His baritone command rings in your head while your hand spreads across his abdomen. Your fingers feel every hard ridge and the way he constricts his stomach underneath your touch. Sunghoon holds your hand underneath his to pull it up to his neck and guides you down his body as if he wants you to memorize what he feels like too. Somewhere between his parted lips and intense eye contact is when you realize your sanity is nowhere to be found, and it seems like he can tell because he feels the way your legs squeeze him. 

“I want you to see me too.” 

His fingers lift the hem of your shirt. “Can I take this off?”

When you nod, his fingers begin to tremble the higher the fabric travels up your body. Your skin is warm and soft underneath his tongue and he’s afraid that he’ll forget what you look like if his eyes stray from you. He pushes your top until he sees your deep green bra that hides your chest from him and pushes your back into an arch for him to unhook the fabric without much of a fuss. 

He doesn’t know where to look first. The bra is thrown haphazardly beside him and you can’t bring yourself to care about where it is on his bedroom floor. Instead, his hands cup your breasts and his fingers give a light squeeze as if to experiment with them. Sunghoon’s eyes gloss over your body and his mouth parts in astonishment the more he soaks your image in. He brings the pads of his thumbs to rub your nipples that have grown hard and sensitive since he pushed you onto the bed. 

Slowly, he descends. His warm mouth wraps around your left nipple with a tantalizing slowness that makes you feel like time is frozen around the two of you. Your heart drums in your chest at his merciful tongue that experimentally licks your nub. Sunghoon’s eyes dart up to look at you and drink in every reaction from his movements, and when he feels your chest arch into him upon sucking his mouth around your nipple, he brings his hand to the other and pinches it until you yelp. 

He flattens his tongue to lick you up before moving his head to switch to your other nipple, pressing a wet kiss to the valley between your breasts before attaching himself back onto you. The spot where his lips touched you blooms underneath your skin and sends a soft buzz all over your body. It’s hard to focus on his mouth when you feel overwhelmed in the best way possible. 

“So soft.” Sunghoon mutters in the quiet silence apart from your quiet pants and his mouth working your nipple. He grips your breasts and pushes them together as if to admire your naked chest with you watching him. 

“Hoonie—”

“I need to taste you.” He licks between both nipples and speaks as if he’s read your mind just by looking at you. “Can I? Please?” 

To be yearned like this feels like it could’ve been a blessing from above. Sunghoon looks at you with determination when you nod and you watch him sink further down your body with his hands following in his wake. In the quiet of his room, the bedsheets rustle underneath you when he beckons you to sit back against the pillows at the top of his bed. His warm and heavy breaths touch your thighs when he hooks his fingers around your shorts and pulls them down along with your panties. He hums when he pulls them off of you completely and looks directly between your legs, bringing both of his palms to feel your smooth legs until they come to grip your inner thighs. 

His electric touch is a spark you cannot seem to run away from. You feel completely frozen underneath his stare but you can’t bring yourself to shy away from his touch or sink deeper within yourself. Something about the man before you brings out the desires and needs you keep locked away, tucked inside the smallest cupboard in the back of your mind with the key long gone. But somehow, Sunghoon has paved his own way and brought you to your knees with a single kiss.

Sunghoon kisses your inner thighs, his pillowy lips leaving traces of cool spit onto your hot skin. His slow, soft pace is the kind of patience you wish for yourself. You love how kind and gentle he is when he’s with you and he never pushes you farther than your own capacity. He lets you set the tone and lead him wherever you choose to go, and his delicate touches with your body completely bare before him makes you think love and sex can be just as powerful as everyone says it is. When Sunghoon’s mouth comes to pass your core, he kisses the middle of your slit and savors the way your lap moves against him. 

“You feel so good.” He mutters against your other thigh like he’s saying a prayer. “So pliant for me.” Sunghoon nips at the juncture and smiles to himself when you gasp before returning to your mound, his left hand caressing your thigh while his other brings his thumb to knick at your hardened, aroused nub. 

“Sunghoon, I can’t…”

“Can’t what, baby?” 

“I can’t wait anymore.” When Sunghoon looks up at you, he sees the lust by the way your mouth parts just slightly ajar and how your chest rises and falls in anticipation. Who is he to deny you of your pleasure? 

Without another word, Sunghoon closes his eyes and sticks his tongue out to lick a fat stripe up your folds. Your moans are like music to his ears and he swears he could bottle it up and keep it shelved for days. The way you taste covers the surface of his wet muscle and he hums right into your core the more his mouth explores your aroused hole, poking the tip inside of you with every other swipe of his tongue just to tease you. 

“Ah, ahh!” Sunghoon loves hearing the way you whine underneath him and moans in appreciation when you roll your hips against his face because of him. It motivates him to move his head against you too, angling his face to lick every every single part of you. 

Your hands find themselves gripping your naked breasts in an attempt to ground yourself as your chest becomes one with the ceiling the more you arch your back. Sunghoon’s hands come to hold your waist and keep your legs spread before him before you can even think about falling back onto the bed. His touch is magnetic and you don’t think you’ve ever been so desperate to be touched by anyone before him. 

He lets your body fall and decides to give your legs a break since they’ve been spread out for him for so long. Your hips thank him when he lifts them both into the air and temporarily separates himself from your core to look at you like this. Sunghoon rises to kneel before you and his saliva leaves a string of spit when he detaches from your swollen folds. 

“Your pussy is so pretty.” Sunghoon stares intently at your glistening core and he’s mesmerized by the way you clench at his praise. He brings his thumb to your clit and rubs your sensitive nub and smears your wetness around your folds, his other hand holding your legs up for you. “I can’t believe you deprived me of it for so long. 

“I wanna cum,” you moan selfishly when he sticks two of his fingers inside. Your smooth walls engulf his digits and your arousal splashes around the more he pumps them in and out of you. 

“My baby wants to cum?” he asks rhetorically, thrusting his fingers rapidly while your hands come to steady your legs in the air the way he’s been holding you. “You deserve to cum, baby. Let me make you feel good. Shit, yeah, squeeze my fingers just like that.”

“I-I can’t hold it!” 

“Cum right now or I’ll stop fucking you.”

As if a dam’s protective guard had shattered into a million pieces, Sunghoon’s command tips you over the edge and you release around his fingers. Your mind feels dizzy with the nonstop pleasure he’s been giving you and the way his fingers reach the deepest parts within you the more he angles himself on top of your body. His soft praises of a job well done sink into your chest the more he speaks. The sight of his toned biceps moving with every pass of your pussy makes you clench and push your orgasm out around his fingers. Sunghoon smiles wickedly at your mound the more you cream around his fingers and only stops pumping himself when your pussy squeezes him out. He brings his hand to his mouth and wraps them around his digits. 

“Mm,” he hums, closing his eyes and letting his shoulders drop. You peek at his lap and see his fully hardened cock tenting in his pants. The impressive size stares back at you like it’s daring you to take a peek. Sunghoon licks his fingers clean and catches you staring at his dick when he opens his eyes, but your lustful gaze only fuels his arousal. He leaks in his boxers and feels the precum soak the fabric. 

“You taste so fucking good.”

“Really?” Sunghoon grips your legs gently and settles them back down onto the mattress, soothing your sore thighs with his palms as he lightly massages your skin. He bends down to lick you one more time.

“Best pussy I’ve ever tasted. I could die between your legs.” 

“Sunghoon.” 

“I’m being serious.” 

He watches your hole when he pulls his pants and boxers down below his balls until his cock springs out and bounces in your presence. He’s big and girthy, just like you’d imagined the first time you saw the outline of his dick in his pants one morning. Sunghoon wraps his palm around his length and gives himself an experimental squeeze, hissing at the warm contact before tilting his head to spit on the head before stroking himself. The wet sound makes your core jolt in excitement. He watches you looking at him with your bottom lip caught between your teeth with an expression so determined that it makes him laugh from above you. 

“Eager for me?” You look up but you don’t answer him. “I’m always so fucking hard for you but I didn’t want to scare you away. You wore this long black dress that made your body look like sin a while back. I think about what your ass looked like in that dress from time to time.” 

Your brows furrow in confusion. “I haven’t worn that dress in so long…that was before we met.”

“Yeah,” he confesses, twisting his wrist against himself before pinching the tip. “Thought you were cute back then.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He stops stroking himself and kicks off the rest of his clothing before settling back between your stomach and cups your jawline with his hand. The way he looks at you is pure and nearly cliché, like the two of you might as well be the lead roles in a romance film. His warm, brown eyes bore into yours and you can’t say you don’t love it when he looks at you like this. 

“I didn’t want to get too attached to anything or anyone because I knew I had to go back home. I kept telling myself I wouldn’t do anything unless something gave me a reason to talk to you, and then we ran into each other with Jake’s ugly sweater.” 

You cheeks head up. “I forgot about that.” 

He kisses your lips once. “You looked so cute in it.”

“I look atrocious, Hoonie. It’s okay, it’s called an ugly sweater for a reason.”

“You could wear a trash bag and make it look fashionable.” 

“That’s a bit of a stretch, but I appreciate your faith in me.” Sunghoon kisses the tip of your nose. When he moves, you feel his bare cock resting against your folds and push your hips to meet him. His cock slots between them and Sunghoon hums when you grind against him, holding one of your hips steady. 

“Make me wet, baby.” Sunghoon kisses your jawline and his wet lips leave a cool trail on your skin the more you grind against him. “Make my cock wet enough to fuck you.” 

“Shit, shit…”

“Feels good, yeah?”

“So good,” you whisper. He kisses just beneath your earlobe and puckers his lips until he sucks the skin underneath. The tip of his cock catches your clit with every other pass and Sunghoon drinks up your moans like it’s water. 

“You’re gonna be a good girl and let me stick it in, right? You want my cock just as badly as I want your pussy, don’t you?” 

“You’re so fucking good at this.” He chuckles and his warm breath against your ear makes you shiver.

“Good at what, babe?”

“Talking. Touching me, fuck…everything.”

He drags his nose across your neck to the other side. “You deserve to feel good. You’ve been running around all over Seoul with no one to take care of you but me.” 

“Can’t believe I want you this much.” Without disrupting the position, Sunghoon reaches between your bodies and angles his cock until it breaches your hole with just his tip. It pulls a gasp out of you and Sunghoon lifts his head to watch your face morph in pleasure with your mouth open slightly ajar and eyes almost squinting in disbelief. 

“You don't even know the half of it. I want all of you all the time.” He pushes another inch inside of you. “I want to mold your pussy to the shape of my cock to the point that nobody else can fuck you as good as I can.” 

You grip onto his biceps. “F-Fuck.”

“I want to be the only person you look for. I don’t care how long it takes me to come back, but I’m not leaving you behind. I want you. Only you.” 

The feeling you get when you’re with him makes your chest feel tight with love and admiration the more Sunghoon looks at you like you’re the object of his affection, as if you’re something he cannot live without. You didn’t know that love could feel like an accumulation of every happy memory replaying in your head simultaneously. This newfound overwhelming sensation makes you feel like there isn’t anything you can’t face, as long as you face them with Sunghoon. 

He, on the other hand, finally understands why people talk about finding a home within another person. He’d never given second thought to romance when he knew that his life was planned out for him since he was born and never once thought that he’d get to make decisions on his own about his feelings when his entire livelihood is surrounded by order and duty. But here you are, lying so beautiful underneath him like a mosaic built from colorful stained glass with the sun peeking through it. You look like a dream with your face so pretty the more he pushes into you until he’s buried himself to his full capacity. 

Neither of you have ever had sex like this, so pure and raw with your bodies in tune with one another. It feels like the two of you exist beyond space and time with the way your breathing intensifies the more Sunghoon pulls out from you just to push right back inside. The intensity that permeates around his bedroom makes your breath run short and it fuels Sunghoon to keep a slow and steady rhythm, allowing his cock to reach the deepest parts within you without pushing you too fast. The whole affair is erotic and what can only be described as lovemaking. Sunghoon watches your eyes squeeze shut below him and brings a hand to push the stray hair away from your face. He thinks the two of you must’ve been fated in every universe for him to find, because there is not a single person he could ever imagine loving more than you. 

“I’ll fuck you every single day if you let me,” Sunghoon mutters against your neck. He pulls his body up and places both palms on either side of your body before rolling his hips back. The new angle pushes him in a way that makes you moan loudly. 

“Fuck, Sunghoon.” 

“My baby’s so fucking pretty when she’s filled with my cock. Do you love this as much as I do?” 

“Yes!”

“Do you love me as much as I love you?”

You don’t hesitate to answer him. 

“I love you. I want you here forever.” 

“I can give you forever. I swear on it.” 

He pistons his hips until the audible sound of his pelvis smacking against yours becomes the loudest sound in the room. His balls slap against your ass when you wrap your legs around his waist until he drops to his elbows to catch you and squeeze your body when you clench around him. He tucks himself into your neck and his forehead feels warm and sweaty to the touch, but you can’t say that you don’t love how much he’s putting his body–and yours–through the ringer just to make you cum as many times as he possibly can. 

None of this feels real. Sunghoon might as well be a figment of your imagination because it seemed impossible for sex to feel as good as he’s making you feel. All of your concerns about the future don’t exist when he’s bringing you closer and closer to your second orgasm. He, too, pushes all of his unwanted thoughts away in favor of helping you chase your release. Sunghoon’s determined to show you just how much he loves you by any means possible, and if his words of conviction won’t do him justice, he hopes his body will. 

It’s uncanny the way you feel completely safe around Sunghoon, when no one else has ever made you close to feeling the way you do with you. You’re able to break right before his very eyes and pick yourself off of the floor without feeling ashamed to have insecure and unwanted feelings about love and your attitude surrounding happenstances. You live your life based on the principle that everything happens for a reason and that people come and go but lessons will always stick with you. The people who live as ghosts in your past serve as reminders of painful memories and people who were never supposed to be here for very long, and you pray to the Heavens that Sunghoon is somebody meant to be in your life until forever comes to an end. 

Sunghoon holds himself off until he feels you unravel around him by the way you cling onto his body and clench around his cock. He brings his lips to yours and roughly pushes against your swollen ones when he feels you coming undone and allows himself to follow your lead. His cum fills you with thick, white ropes and oozes out from around him when your pussy can’t hold it in anymore. Sunghoon slows his pace down the more you try to catch your breath in an attempt to help you ride out your orgasm without overwhelming you too much. The squelches keep him semi-hard and your lips taste exactly like his favorite memory. 

“My good girl,” he whispers. “So sexy when you cum.” 

“You’re one to talk. You look like fucking Adonis right now.” 

Sunghoon laughs and kisses your forehead. “You flatter me too much.” 

“Nuh uh. I’m telling you the truth. It’s a little unfair how you always look so good, even when you aren’t trying.” 

“You’re one to talk.” He kisses your lips. “You always look so…cute.”

“Just cute?” 

“Pretty, too.” 

“Only pretty?” Sungoon smacks your outer thigh. 

“You are very beautiful and I’m enamored with you.” 

That makes you blush. “Hoon.” 

“What? Can’t a guy proclaim his love anymore?” 

Sunghoon’s body is warm against yours and he looks down at you with a fond smile in a way you always hoped somebody would. His dark eyes feel warm from above you and something about the way he’s watching you doesn’t make you feel observed. Rather, you feel a blooming warmth within your chest and nuzzle into his touch when he brings his hand to cup your face and rub the apple of your cheek. Sunghoon is gentle with his touch and you find it unbelievable that he’s managed to squeeze his way into your comfort zone as successfully as he had. You love his touch. You crave it, even.

His smile widens when you kiss the underside of his hand with a sweet peck and tilts his head in amusement. You feel bashful when Sunghoon looks at you like this because it feels reminiscent of having a crush in your childhood years, but with him, you can’t find that you dislike the way that you feel. His palm is warm and comforting, especially after spending so much time putting your body through physical rigor in ways you’ve never experienced. His strength never ceases to impress you and the nights you’ve spent picturing yourself underneath him suddenly have merit to them now. 

You find yourself breaking your own character when you lift your head up to push Sunghoon’s lips against yours and his response is immediate. Sunghoon’s plush lips melt right into yours and he slots himself against you like he was always supposed to be there, letting your head lie against the bed while his arm holds your waist. Everything about Sunghoon makes you wonder if love is supposed to feel like a quiet hug amidst a rainstorm, or if it’s supposed to feel like the crescendo in a brilliant symphonic masterpiece. Perhaps it’s a combination of both or none at all. These deep feelings you have for him have never been brought out by anyone before him. 

Sunghoon must know what you’re thinking because his hand travels up your body and back to your hair, gently scraping your scalp with his blunt fingertips. It feels so good to be loved and doted on like this without feeling like you don’t deserve to find an ounce of happiness with somebody who tells you they love you. Years of running away from the feeling of a comfortable embrace melts away with every second that passes with your lips on Sunghoon’s. He feels like every bit of home you’ve spent your whole life yearning for. 

“What are you thinking about?” His question pulls you out of your thoughts and you can’t find it in you to lie to him. 

“Is it selfish that I want you to stay?” 

“No, it’s not. I don’t want to leave Seoul either. I don’t want to leave you.”

“It feels like I just got you but now I have to let you go.”

He kisses you. “You don’t have to let me go. I’ll do whatever it takes to convince my parents to let me live the life that I want. Our trip to your hometown made me realize there’s more to life than people’s expectations of me.”  

You bottom lip quivers. “I’m scared that they won’t budge and that you’ll leave. I’m scared that you’re going to move on and leave me here thinking about you.” 

“I’d never.” He shakes his head like it’s a fact. “I could never forget you. I would never even think about moving on from you. I’m scared that somebody’s gonna snatch you up when I’m away.” 

“I’m really in love with you, unfortunately.” Sunghoon nips at your lip and cherishes the way you laugh. He looks away from you for a split second but the soothing touch of his hand feels comforting. He watches you frown for a minute. “I didn’t get you a present.”

“Baby, you’re my present.”

“That was really corny.”

“It was, wasn’t it?” He kisses you once more. “You’re too important for me to give up. I don’t want to let you go.” 

Somehow, you know he’s telling the truth. 

“Does this mean I’m your boyfriend now?”

“You have to ask.”

“Can I be your boyfriend?” 

You silence him with a kiss and when he feels you smiling against him, he has his answer. 

****

comments and reblogs are appreciated! :) x

[rebelliousstories]

Ain’t That A Pretty Sight

Relationship: Cooper Howard x Reader

Fandom: Fallout

Request: No

Warnings: Fluff, Brief Angst, Brief Suggestive Themes, Drinking, Pregnancy

Word Count: 3,265

Main Masterlist: Here

Fallout Masterlist: Here

Summary: This is the story of how Cooper fell in love with his wife again, Janey is really excited, and Barb makes this about her.

“Honey, I’m home!” There was silence as she stepped inside. The entire time that she had been living with the enigma of a man known as Cooper Howard, the house had never been silent. Setting down the bags of groceries in the kitchen, she left them in favor of looking for her husband. He was nowhere to be found on the first floor, even though the T.V. was still playing in the den. Moving up the stairs, she heard a noise, but could not confirm who was making it.

Checking in their room, she was disappointed to see it empty. But then she heard that same noise again, coming from the room across from theirs. Janey’s room. She made her way to her stepdaughter’s bedroom and pushed open the cracked door. Lying down on the floor with the young girl, was her husband. And in his hands, was a doll. It warmed her heart to see Cooper playing with his daughter, doing different voices for the dolls and what not. They were in their own little world for a while as she continued to watch them, but Janey looked up and caught her.

“Honey!” The young girl jumped up and ran to tackle the woman in a hug. Rolling, Cooper just watched his girls for a moment before he decided to get up. While honey was not the woman’s name, Janey still called her that after watching her dad do it so often.

“Have you been having fun, miss Janey?” She asked of her stepdaughter, not quite wanting to let the girl go yet. Janey was the first to pull away and nodded vigorously.

“Daddy has been playing with me the whole afternoon. It’s been fun.” Cooper finally made his way over to his wife to pull her in close. As Janey went back to her dolls, the Howard’s shared a loving kiss as they wrapped up each other in their arms.

“Hey honey. Was everything okay at the doctors?” He ran his hand up and down her back as he kept her close.

“Yeah. Just a little something I gotta discuss with you. But it can wait.” She reassured him, even though that look on his face said otherwise.

“I got to put the groceries away. Just wanted to see where you were.” Reluctantly, Cooper let us wife go back downstairs to do what she was doing, and went back to his daughter. His mind raced as he tried to think about what she could possibly be waiting to tell him.

Meanwhile downstairs, Mrs. Cooper was busy making dinner for that night. She was making enough for all three of them, even though she did not know when her husband’s ex-wife would be stopping by to pick up their daughter. Still, she wanted Janey to have enough to eat if she was going to be late. There was a full spread out on the table within the hour, and she was calling out for her husband and stepdaughter to join her in the dining room.

Eagerly, Janey began talking about her day with her dad. Becuase she had her doctor’s appointment and a few other errands to run, Cooper had thankfully taken the day off from work. It made everything a lot easier to flow throughout her day, especially the appointment. As they ate, her hand drifted over to Cooper’s as her nerves started to show. The later it got, the more she grew nervous.

A knock at the front door broke all of them out of their conversation. Cooper dismissed himself from the table, and went over to the door while she began to reengage Janey in the conversation. Hushed, clipped voices were heard from the front of the home, and footsteps followed shortly afterwards.

“Janey, your momma’s here.” Both girls at the table turned to where Cooper had reemerged with Barb next to him. Janey shot up out of her chair, much like she did earlier, and went to go hug her mom.

“Hi Barb.” She greeted, standing from her seat.

“Hello.” Barb’s voice was clipped as she spoke to the woman, which was not unusual for them. No matter how many times she tried to get along with Barb, for everybody’s sake, the woman refused to so much as give her a polite smile.

She sent a tight lipped grin to her husband, before beginning to clear the table. Plates were placed in the kitchen sink to take care of, as she heard the three other people in the house talking. Her hands and mind were kept occupied by the mundane task of cleaning the dishes from dinner as she did not want to intrude on their conversation. Small footsteps made their way into the kitchen and she turned to face Janey.

“Bye Honey.” The child said innocently, wrapping her arms around the woman sweetly.

“Oh, goodbye sugar cube. I’ll see you next week, okay?” She reassured, and only let go when Janey did. The girl left and went to her mom once more, who only stared at the woman still crouched with disdain.

Rising up, she waved them off while Cooper walked them out. Turning back to the dishes, she kept going about her routine while trying not to think too hard about Barb and her nature towards her. Finally she was able to place the dishes on the drying rack while hearing heavy footsteps grow closer. Arms wrapped around her waist while she was placing the last dish down.

“Now, ain’t that a gorgeous sight.” Cooper drawled, pressing himself against her back and resting his head on her shoulder.

“You’re just being partial.” She retorted, wiping her hands off and resting them on top of her husband’s.

“Want dessert?” She turned in his arms to face him with a smirk.

“Whatcha giving me?”

“Gin martini.”

“Well, then yes. I’d love dessert. Although I’d love it more if you were paired with the martini.” A husky whisper was placed in her ear right as she went to go leave.

“Mr. Howard!” She exclaimed, turning and looking at her husband with a shocked look on her face at his words. He just smiled innocently at her in return.

“What?” Cooper’s tone was so innocent, she was almost able to think that he did not mean anything by that comment. But the little smirk he gave her was enough to tell her that he knew exactly what he meant. Chuckling, she went over to their mini bar in the living room while Cooper made his way to the sofa. He patted his thighs as she neared with only one drink in hand.

“Thank you dalrin’. But where’s yours?” Cooper inquired while taking a sip of the drink his wife made for him.

“Not in the mood for a drink tonight.” She shrugged offhandedly. Cooper was confused and set the glass down on the table to wrap abound his wife.

“Alright now,” he started, “you told me earlier that you had something that could wait to talk about. You’re not having a drink even though I just bought a new thing of that grenadine that you love so much. So what’s going on?”

“Well, I wanted to tell you alone because I wasn’t sure how Janey would take it. Let me go grab something.” She pressed a kiss to his head as she hopped off of his lap. Rummaging around in her bag, she pulled out a little white envelope that held a very important piece of paper inside. Making her way back over, she sat in her husband’s lap once more, and gave the envelope to him. Cooper looked at the item in his hands with a skeptical glance before looking at his wife.

“Go on. Open it.” Her excited expression prompted the man to follow suit. His hands retracted the rest in between them and began to tear through the paper envelope. There was another piece of paper in the envelope that Cooper pulled out. He glanced at his wife before beginning to read the paper in his hands.

Her nail found its way to her mouth as she tried not to bite down nervously on her freshly done manicure. The longer she waited, the more doubt crept into her. What if he was upset? What if this forever changed them and they would never recover? Cooper’s jaw fell as he neared the edge of the page, and he finally looked at his wife. His knuckles were white as they gripped the paper.

“Is this real?” He whispered, eyes focused solely on hers. She nodded, and that was when life became a blur.

Cooper disregarded the sheet of paper and picked her up in his arms as he stood. The pure laughter that left his body as he held her close made her also laugh out of reflex. He spun them around, unable to contain his excitement over the news. Setting her down gently, Cooper grabbed his wife’s waist and pulled her in close to kiss her senseless. The only reason they separated was the lack of oxygen, and she was utterly stunned by the reaction from her husband.

“So, you’re happy?” She asked timidly. Her hands began to play with his shirt buttons while she dipped her head down. Gentle fingertips brought them back up, and now she was face to face with him again.

“I’m over the moon, darling. You’ve given me the most perfect gift I could have ever asked for. How far along?” Cooper ran his hands all over her midsection, unable to help himself.

“Eleven weeks. I want to wait before telling anyone else. I mean, if you want to tell Janey when we get her next week, we can. But everyone else can wait.” She patted his chest, and leaned in for a kiss. He greatly appreciated it, but pulled away fast.

“We’ve gotta set up a nursery.” Cooper suddenly proclaimed. She giggled at the eagerness of her husband and they spent the night talking about everyone for their little baby.

Almost two months later, it was once again their week with Janey. Telling the girl that she was going to become a big sister felt like a relief, and she was so excited. Janey had helped her dad put together the crib, paint the walls, and decorate the area. They still had yet to get a changing table in, but she was only four months along; they had plenty of time.

Hooves clomping and chatter from outside in the pasture became louder and louder, prompting her to poke her head outside. The Howard duo had just returned from another function, and they were eagerly talking about it. As soon as they came inside, Janey gave a quick hug and hello to her stepmother, and little sibling, before running up the stairs to go wash up. Cooper, however, was a little more nonchalant about washing up for dinner.

“Uh uh. No sir, Mr. Howard. You are going to wash before I vomit and ruin my appetite.” Mrs. Howard pushed her husband away who tried to come in for a hug and a kiss.

“Mr. Howard, huh? We back to using last names, darling?” He teased, trying again to step forward and give her affection. But she just pushed him away and to the stairs.

“You want me to use your first name, then you better go wash. I’m serious, Coop. The smell.” She complained, but was relieved when her husband obliged and left for their room upstairs.

Several minutes went by before Janey returned. It was clear that she had only washed her hands and face, as well as changing into new clothes, but it was a big improvement on the smell of horses and sweat that bothered her. The girl was helping place food and plates on the table, when the doorbell rang.

“Have your daddy finish when he gets out here. I’ll go get the door.” The woman instructed, and made her way over to the front door. Pulling it open, she was a little surprised to see Janey’s mom here this early in the evening. She called out for the little girl to come to the door, who greeted her mother warmly. Soon she was taking off for her room to grab her things that she would be bringing to her mom’s house. Which left the two women there awkwardly.

“How are you doing today, Barb?” She tried to start, but the woman was not having it.

“How far along are you?” Barb quipped, her tone sharp and clipped.

“Um, just made it to eighteen weeks. We go in soon to find out the gender.” Her tone was happy, as compared to Barb’s. But for some reason, the joy was not shared.

“Is it Coop’s?” There was the reason. Taken aback by the invasive and offensive question, she was not quite sure how to respond to that.

“I’m- I’m sorry?” She stuttered, gripping the side of the door to control herself.

“And are you sure that Cooper is ready for another kid? At his age? He’s done with that part of his life. He already has Janey. And Janey, how is she going to feel once you have the baby and aren’t showing her as much attention. Besides, if you two don’t have godparents for the child, they’ll end up growing up alone if something happens to you two.” Stunned was all she felt. There was a sense of numb that washed over her body as she took in the woman’s words. Barb said all of that with such confidence that it almost made her second guess this whole pregnancy.

“Barb, what are you doing here so early?” Cooper came up behind his wife and placed an arm around her waist so that his hand rested on her stomach.

“Picking up Janey and discovering this… situation. You never told me.” She spoke smoothly, while the current Mrs. Howard was panicking inside.

“Well, we just didn’t want anything to happen and have us say something too soon. But, yes Barb, we’re expecting a baby in a few more months. Janey is really excited about being a big sister.” He reassured the woman, rubbing soothing circles into the side of his wife’s belly.

“Oh, Janey knows already?” The shock on Barb’s face was almost enough to make her feel good.

“Yep. She’s super excited. I think she may be more excited than us to have this baby.” Cooper joked, pressing a kiss to his wife’s temple as she was starting to come out of her stupor.

“Is this really the best thing for you, Coop?” There it was again.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He countered, not willing to back down to his ex-wife.

“Well, with your age and already having an older child, is this really the best course?” Barb shifted her weight from foot to foot while crossing her arms.

“Barb, I was in my early fourties’ when Janey was born, and a lot of people think that’s too old. I like being a dad, and I can’t wait to have another baby.” At that moment, Janey came running down the stairs with all her stuff ready to go. The adults did not talk much after that, choosing to focus on the child instead of anything else. She said a quick goodbye to her father, stepmother and baby sibling before going along with her mom to where her car waited.

As soon as Barb left, she felt like she could breathe again. Making her way into the kitchen, she finished setting the table and began dishing out food before any more conversation could come up. Of course, Cooper noticed the odd way his wife was acting throughout dinner, but he figured that she would come to him when she was ready.

After dinner, the woman hurriedly collected the plates and dishes to clean them, leaving Cooper at the table confused. This went beyond normal pregnancy hormones being out of balance. He waited a moment, before getting up and going to the kitchen where she stood over the sink full of dishes. She was busy scrubbing away, and flinched when her husband’s hands wrapped around her middle and pulled her close.

“Ain’t this a pretty sight.” He drawled, peppering kisses down her neck and shoulders; wherever he could reach.

“What, Coop?” She retorted, not pausing her task in spite of the affection.

“Well, just my beautiful wife being all domestic. Washing dishes after she made her husband a scrumptious meal, round with my child. It does something to a man.” Cooper’s voice dropped down low and gravely, which she knew he knew that was her weakness. Anytime his voice got like that, she was not able to think clearly anymore.

“What’s got you so bothered tonight, momma?” He rested his head against her shoulders, and felt how tense they were.

“It’s nothing. Just stuff Barb said.” When she tried to resume her dishes, Cooper took them out of her hands and spun her around. Her back to the sink, and her eyes downcast as she was unable to look at him in the eyes. But gentle fingertips fixed that real quick.

“Now what could she say that would get you this bummed?” He was super concerned for his wife’s wellbeing; normally she would not put any validity into the words that woman said.

“She asked me if the baby was yours, and then went on a spiel about how you probably didn’t want another kid. Or how Janey was going to feel left out with a baby in the house. And even how she would not care what happens to the baby if something were to happen to us. I mean, who makes a pregnancy not related to them about them.” Tears began to well up inside hers eyes as she let her mind race with thoughts that she was voicing out loud.

“Oh, darling. Come here.” Cooper pulled her in close and pushed her face into his chest. She cried hard, and all he could do was keep consoling her. He let her get out everything that was bothering her in that moment, and never once tried to rush her. It took several minutes for her sobs to die down enough that she could be intelligible.

“Now, I want you to listen and listen well, darling,” Cooper spoke softly as he held her close. “I don’t want you to listen to a thing that woman says. She’s just bitter. I know that baby’s mine because I know that you would never do that to me. You know that Janey might be more excited than us to have a new member of the family, and you know damn sure that we’ll figure out a contingency plan for our child when we get there. You’re only five moths along, just over halfway. You still got some cookin’ to do for that little bun.”

She giggled lightly as his southern accent came forth more and more the longer he talked. Taking this as a good sign, he pulled away just enough to see her face. Keeping one hand around her body, he brought the other to wipe at her face, drying the remaining tears.

“I love you so much, darling. And this little bundle we’re gonna have in our arms in a few months? I’m gonna fall in love with you even more.” Cooper pressed a kiss to her lips, and wrapped her back up in his arms. once they pulled away again, she smiled genuinely since before dinner.

“Ain’t that a pretty sight.”

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Okay, i know you have request closed but if i don’t write it down I’ll forget. First love your soldier boy dad writing! I have binged it all now! But what if soldier boys comes back and he realizes his baby needs him cause homelander is like freaky obsessed with her. And like she meets with homelander or something and HL hurts her so she runs to her dad cause he’s the only one that can really protect her and soldier boy gets so mad at HL

I'm a sucker for dad!soldier boy and soldier girl 😭

Suddenly

Warnings: homelander being a creep, reader devastated that he isn't the brother she grew up with, hl giving off incesty vibes, papa soldier boy coming back into the picture, this time he's not going to disappoint his baby girl, dark themes, you've been warned, homelander giving ick vibes, assault, fighting back

Time in Russia had Ben coming to terms with cold, hard truths. By now Payback was never going to rescue him. Not like he'd hoped. Maybe due to his personality being on the constant 'dickhead' switch, no one was really in a hurry to save him. There was no leaving Russia alive for him. Another painful fact. Nowhere near as agonizing than the fact he'd royally fucked up as a parent. He didn't spend the time he should have with you and Homelander. Soldier Boy regrets not using a softer tone and hand with Homelander when he was disciplining the boy. Shouldn't have shooed you out of the way when all you wanted to do was show him a fucking picture you'd drawn.

He replays the last time he saw his kids. Your birthday was coming up soon. Your 18th birthday, a milestone. Soldier boy would never consider himself a sentimental man, but something in his battle weathered heart thawed and warmed that his little girl wasn't so little anymore.

You never asked for anything for your birthday. The most Soldier Boy would do (if not given a hint from Homelander as to what you'd want) is give you money and maybe a doughnut in lieu of an actual birthday cake. Regardless of what Soldier Boy bought you, you always gave him a genuinely grateful smile, appreciating that he was performing the bare minimum. Homelander's gifts always blew whatever Soldier Boy gave you out of the park anyway. He was the one who really knew you.

It dawned on him that he shouldn't have relied so heavily on his son to care for you when Homelander was a child himself. The two of you ended up developing an unhealthy attachment. Moreso Homelander than you (Vogelbaum had brought this to his attention some years ago).

An 18th birthday was something to fucking party about though. When Payback's military grade helicopter landed in Nicaragua, Soldier Boy had been thinking about where he'd hidden your special present. For once he was excited about something that didn't involve killing or fucking.

"Hey, earth to Ben." Your voice catches him off guard, pulling him from his dark revere.

He's not in Russia anymore.

He's not even in the same year as he had been when abducted.

Ben stares at you for a moment. That vacant stare of his has you going on guard just in case something triggered his PTSD.

You're older than 18 now. A full grown woman standing in a rundown, shitty little motel kitchenette. The pan you were using was set aside and you turn off the burners of the stove before facing your dad.

"You good?"

Blinking once, Soldier Boy shakes off whatever spell was cast over him. "Yeah. Yeah, sorry. What were you saying?"

You understood the moments of displacement you 'd feel when you realized your father was alive and right in front of you. He hadn't aged a single year since his supposed death that Stan Edgar convinced you happened. It was just so fucking weird.

"I was saying that I need to run out for an errand. Hughie and Butcher will be here if you need anything."

The usual Soldier Boy returns with a roll of his eyes. He exchanges a glance with Butcher who was intently watching Vought News in the armchair near the motel window. Butcher merely offers him a shrug.

You doubt he would actually need anything. The Boys hooked up your dad with several pounds of weed, alcohol and cigarettes that would last a normal person a lifetime. This was nothing to Soldier Boy. He would demolish it within a couple of days.

Hughie leans in to whisper in your ear "Are you sure you want to go back to Vought? Annie said she had everything under control over there."

Watching Soldier Boy eat his breakfast and taking a swig of some good old fashioned morning whiskey, you lower your voice so only Hughie could hear. "I love Annie and respect her, but I HIGHLY doubt even she has control in regards to Vought and the Seven."

Before leaving, you shoot the three of them a menacing look. "Behave. All of you."

You'd lied to Hughie though.

When Butcher returned from Russia with Soldier Boy and after the incident incident with Crimson Countess, you thought of the brother you used to know frequently. It wasn't long ago that Homelander had been your best friend. You hoped beyond all hope that you could bring that brother back.

You'd purchased a burner phone and, memorizing Homelander's personal number, called him. His immediate reaction was to curse you out, naturally. You let him before reminding him of the bond both of you built through years of surviving Soldier Boy's home together. Making something of yourselves without the looming shadow of your father. You'd told him that if there was any chance of reconciliation that he should meet you at a disclosed area. Just the both of you. There was guarded refusal. You could be luring him into a trap. Finish him off once and for all. And like the rest of the world, Homelander didn't believe you when you finally told him that Soldier Boy was alive.

That was enough for Homelander to agree.

One might consider you paranoid by the many times you'd looked over your shoulder as you flew to the top of Vought Tower. A semi-public place where if a struggle ensued, many people would be tipped off below. You'd also have more options of escape in the open air.

The door to the top of the roof opens. You stand taller and square your shoulders off.

Homelander lets the door fall closed behind him. His strides to you are slow and calculated, imitating a predatory animal circling a scrumptious morsel of meat. Blue eyes dart around you, assuring himself you didn't bring any unwelcome visitors.

"He's really alive?'' Was Homelander's greeting.

You toss him the cheap burner phone that was capable of taking subpar pictures. Homelander eyes you before leaning down to pick up the flip phone. His lower lid twitches when he makes out Soldier Boy in the picture sitting across from Butcher at some small table.

Adam's apple bobbing, Homelander's expression difficult to read. "How?"

"Apparently the Russians had him. Payback was working with them as well as Vought to get rid of Soldier Boy." Would he believe you?

Scoffing, he tosses back your phone but there's no point in keeping it anymore. You crush it in your grip, fingers opening to let the crumbled remnants be carried away by the wind.

"John, please. I miss my brother." The man in front of you was a stranger wearing your brother's face.

He tilts his chin up. "You're the one who ruined us. YOU fucked right off to join William Butcher and his band of miscreants. And its you who has no one to blame but yourself."

"John-"

He's fast, his hand inches away from grabbing your face before you dodge out of the way, deftly avoiding him. His temper has grown worse, you observe, since you left the Seven. Homelander was already on a rapid decline mentally after killing Madelyn Stillwell. Your abandonment was simply icing on top of the shitty cake.

You had to tread VERY lightly around him.

What was your aim for this interaction? Homelander would never leave Vought or the Seven nor would he want to join you and the other vigilantes. Hell, the Boys would never accept him.

You wanted to see for yourself if there was any piece left of your childhood within him.

Starting into his red rimmed eyes, you saw nothing of the boy who held your hand as the both of you crossed the street to get to school. He was gone.

"You" He points a red gloved finger in your direction "betrayed me."

He won't listen to reason.

"I didn't want to." You whisper, recalling the moments when Homelander actually made you feel unsafe just before you made the decision to leave. How he'd started to stare at you for an uncomfortably long time. His simple, innocent gestures and caresses were becoming. . . worrisome.

You'd thought it was just you imagining things. Homelander was just like that with you. He practically raised you after all. Homelander was the one to make your sack lunch for school. The one who got you ready, choosing your clothes for the day and braiding your hair.

His touches had changed though. They lingered and tightened on you, becoming possessive with each passing day since Stillwell's murder.

There was an instance when he'd captured your face in both his hands. You'd thought maybe there was something on your face, remnants of lunch, but no. He'd nearly kissed you full on the lips. For once you're grateful for the Deep popping up out of nowhere. It was the only thing that had Homelander dropping your face and returning to a semi-normal facade.

You see that Homelander right in front of you. The one that made your stomach curdle and goosebumps prickling upon your arms.

"I never thought you'd become an ungrateful bitch." With each step he took closer to you, you took another one back. "You're mine. You have always been mine from the moment Soldier Boy brought you home, you've been mine." His hands kept clenching up as if he was trying to will restraint in himself.

You're ready for a fight.

What you aren't ready for was Homelander being faster in grabbing your arms so you couldn't escape and smashing his lips against your's. You feel yourself scream as a struggle begins. He's trying to keep you in his arms, pull you down to the ground. His kiss turns aggressively desperate with teeth biting down on your lower lip when you try to turn your face away.

Heart rate freaking out, you go by pure animal instinct to get out of Homelander's hold. Your teeth sink down into his forearm, tearing cloth and skin alike. Letting out a howl, Homelander throws you to the ground, reeling back to examine the sizeable bite mark you gave him. He wasn't used to seeing his own blood.

He forgot that he should have been just as fearful of you as you were with him and his own powers.

The stickiness of his blood covers your mouth as you glare at him.

Since the brother you once loved was no longer present in Homelander, you weren't afraid anymore of pulling punches.

You stand up to your full height and feel the heat of your lasers burn in the back of your eyes.

Homelander seemed to match your feelings as his heated glare literally shines from his eyes. "I'm not letting you get away to go back to him."

"That's unfortunate. I've got no plans on staying here." You snarl and just as you levitate off of the ground, Homelander is grabbing you by the ankle and tries to slam you back down.

He could easily rip your leg off.

Your panicked jerking manages to free you from his grasp.

Like a bullet you take off across the sky. Looking back every so often just to make sure he wasn't following you. He wouldn't dare to make a scene where civilians can easily spy the both of you from the ground.

You're certain you've broken a few records by how fast you flew across the city to get back to the hideout.

Nearly ripping the motel door of it's hinges, you startle the men in there. Hughie gapes at the actual bruises developing on your face and the red smear across your mouth. Everything about you must have looked a horrifying mess.

Soldier Boy stands from where he'd been sitting on the bed. Eyes wide as he takes you in. "What the fuck happened to you?" He's the first one to take action and go to you.

Looking at him now, the feelings you'd tried pushing back start trickling forth. You realize Homelander had not just physically assaulted you, but it had nearly turned into a sexual assault too.

You damn the tears that well up your eyes, distorting the image of your father. "I. . . John. . ."

"John? John did this to you?" The words felt hollow coming out of his mouth as he stood in a daze. Homelander had harmed you? That didn't sound right. Then again, a lot had changed.

Mentioning Homelander's birth name caught the others' attention.

You touch your mouth where Homelander had kissed you. You realize the blood around your lips may not just be Homelander's blood. Where he'd bitten your lower lip is a tender gash that is also leaking red.

"Sit down. You're shaking." Soldier Boy, taking on the role of a caring father (and surprising everyone with his gentle tone) pushes past Butcher and Hughie who helplessly watch. Using your shoulders to guide you to the arm chair, your dad sits you down. He kneels in front of you to get a good look at the wounds all over you. "Tell me what he did."

Chewing on the inside of your cheek, you're focused on your hands and the specks of red on them. "He tried- I don't know. . . He. . ."

Gently, Soldier Boy uses his index finger to raise your face up. "Tell me, baby girl."

That got you. The tears were now freely rolling down your face when you meet similar blue eyes. "I wanted to see if there was anything left of the brother I knew." You whimper, voice warbling. "Dad. . . he didn't try to kill me. He tried doing something worse."

Ben's eyes widen, as if dots were being connected. His soft demeanor which he'd revealed just to you hardens into something ugly. You didn't like how quiet the motel room had become.

You flinch when Soldier Boy attempts to hug you. He stops and not wanting to upset you further, didn't try again. You're the one who wraps your arms around him.

Fiercely, Soldier Boy returns the embrace.

"I promise you, I won't ever let him lay a hand on you again." He feel his jaw tighten as he snarls out. "The next time I see him, I'm going to kill him."

[kuschelbarr]

okay so i made a pinterest and seeing all the sonic headcanons is making me want to make my own so… SONIC HEADCANONS ‼️

Sonic is very forgetful and as such Tails puts sticky notes around their house reminding him of any errands he needs to run or things he has to do

Sonic loves to boast about Tails’ accomplishments. Sonic has the biggest ego but he’s also so proud of Tails that he will, much to Tails’ embarrassment, loudly proclaim how cool his inventions are

Amy loves going over to visit Cream and Vanilla to help out, and she loves baking with them

I don’t see people talking about Vanilla nearly enough, but i think everyone who knows her adores her and likes to help her out - she is a single mum, after all. Sonic will run errands for her, Amy will babysit Cream, Knuckles will carry her grocery bags for her, Tails will make her little gadgets and trinkets with Cream, etc. It’s all very sweet

Sonic takes a lot of naps. It doesn’t matter when or where he just plonks himself down and he’s out

Amy carries a polaroid camera around with her to take photos with her friends and then pin them to a cork board

I’ve seen this said before, but Silver is a history nerd

He’s also a giant trivia fan. He’s the kind of person that’ll memorise the dates that his favourite movies came out and then pull that fact from nowhere and his friends are all really confused as to why he knows that off the top of his head (No i’m not projecting. Shh.)

I also strongly believe Tails knows how to sew and has a sewing machine

Blaze, Shadow and Espio probably have a book club. Sometimes Tails and Silver will join them on their sessions.

Knuckles taught Amy some hand-to-hand combat. Boxing stuff, yaknow?

Blaze’s gloves are a lot tougher and more abrasive to withstand her fireballs

Sonic is a big fan of older things believe it or not. From classic fairytales and stories (thinking back to the storybook games), to retro music and 80s movies

^Side note, he also loves Michael Jackson’s music and i think he’d love Back To The Future

I also think that Silver likes Star Wars

Silver has a sweet tooth, but Blaze has a more savoury taste. Blaze’s tolerance for spicy foods is also much higher than Silv’s

Espio and Blaze are also big on candles, i think

Because Silver grew up in the literal apocalypse, i think he’s very adaptable. he’ll manage with what he’s got, and he’s very resilient

Tails prefers 2D animation to 3D. Charmy prefers 3D animation. Cream chooses to not get involved in the matter

Vector was in a band in his youth, just like he is now with Espio and Charmy. He wasn’t any better back then, but he also wears hearing aides now because he busted his hearing with his music too loud. He still hasn’t learnt his lesson from that.

Just shooting off a few for you! When my mental headspace gets worse Sonic is always my comfort fandom, so here i am, and i hope you enjoyed! Let me know if you would like more or if you had any ideas, i’m especially trying to think of some for Mighty and Ray, because they’re my special little guys goddammit.

Remember: stay way past cool!

[ithilien-writes]

yaaay! my prompt is choosing joy verse wedding planning (even if it’s just your thoughts on the roles everyone takes on!) ♥️♥️

Okay, this is probably not at all what you were envisioning, but I hope you still like it!! Thank you for the prompt! 💜💜

(to anyone reading: these were meant to be quick scenes to help unblock me so please take them in that spirit. ie. this was written really quickly and without much editing. feel free to send me some more!!

---

Best Laid Plans [Buck/Eddie (Buck & Maddie), G, ~900 words]

Buck is not being a bridezilla, okay? Or groomzilla? Whatever. He's not. No matter what Chim says about it. Buck is just being... particular. So that everything will be perfect. Eddie deserves that. Buck deserves that. So he's just- he's taking the wedding planning seriously, that's all.

"I'm just saying, why does he always have to do it here?" he can hear Chim saying in the other room, followed by a distinctly Maddie-sounding huff that's part fond and part exasperated.

Whatever she says in response, it's too low for Buck to hear, but when she comes back into the kitchen she's alone and he can hear the front door opening and then closing again. Buck can't help but wince a little in apology.

"Sorry," he says. "I didn't mean to drive Chim out of his own house."

But Maddie waves him off, one hand resting on her now very pregnant stomach.

"It's not you," she says, too forgiving of Buck, as always. "He's just stressed about the baby coming so soon. I sent him to run some errands; it's fine."

She comes around the island to peer over his shoulder at the three invitation samples currently spread out in front of him and hums thoughtfully.

"I like the cream with the blue font," she says. "The gold looks to fancy and the grey's a little boring."

"Right?" Buck agrees, probably a little too emphatically, as he twists around to look at her. When he sees her smile though, it makes him feel a little like he's twelve years old again, and the sudden surge of love that wells up in him almost takes him by surprise, if only just in it's ferocity.

"That's uh. That's what I was saying," he adds lamely, after a moment.

Maddie's smile gets a little brighter and she rests a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm so happy for you," she says, getting a little teary the way she seems to be at the drop of a hat these days. "You know that, right?"

"I know," Buck tells her, feeling his own throat tighten a little around the words.

Maddie sniffles and then rolls her eyes at herself.

"God sorry," she says. "Third trimester. I've already cried three times today. This baby needs to hurry up already."

Buck laughs with her, picking up their chosen invitation and tucking the other two back behind it. Maddie circles the counter again and goes to make another pot of coffee. It's decaf, but she swears it still has some kind of placebo effect. Buck's not entirely convinced.

He drums his fingers on the table a little, debating with himself. But it's just Maddie. It's just the two of them. He could ask her.

"Hey, um," he starts, a little awkwardly. "Do you- do you ever feel. I don't know. Weird? A-about Jee-Yun spending time with Mom and Dad?"

Maddie turns back from the coffee maker and regards him seriously. She doesn't look thrown by the question, even though Buck knows it has to seem like it's coming out of nowhere.

"Honestly? Yeah, sometimes," she says, and Buck lets out a slightly shaky breath, feeling weirdly relieved by her answer.

"It's not like-" she pauses, considering- "I'm not worried about her safety or anything, obviously. But I remember what it was like growing up in that house. Some of things they said to us. To you."

She sighs, fidgeting with the mug in her hands a little.

"So yeah, I worry a little," she admits. "Sometimes."

Buck nods, looking down at the invitation without really seeing it this time. Eventually he looks back up at Maddie and finds her still just waiting. Always so patient with him.

Buck clears his throat.

"They just- they haven't really... met Christopher," he says eventually. "I mean, obviously they did, at your wedding. But like, they haven't really spent any time with him. And I'm- I know it's dumb, but I'm-"

"I get it," Maddie tells him, voice soft.

Then, even more softly-

"You don't have to invite them, Buck."

Buck scoffs a little, at that.

"Come on," he argues. "They're our parents. I have to invite them."

"No," she argues back. "You really don't."

Buck shakes his head.

"That's not even- I want them there," he says. And he does. He's... pretty sure he does. "I'm just-"

Maddie sets down her coffee.

"Okay, how about this then - maybe you should just talk to Christopher about it," she suggests. "He's a teenager, so he's old enough to understand complicated family stuff-" Buck can't help but snort a little, at that- "and maybe it would good for you guys anyway. For him to understand things a little better."

"We did uh. We did kind of talk about it once," he tells her. "Or well, I did. He said our family was messed up."

This time it's Maddie's turn to snort.

"Well, if the shoe fits," she quips, picking up her coffee again but sighing a little discontentedly as she takes a sip.

Buck looks over at her and can't help but smile again.

"I don't know," he says, "I think my family is actually pretty great, these days."

Maddie smiles back at him, even as her eyes immediately go teary again. And well- if Buck gets an earful from Chim when he gets home about making Maddie cry, he can take it.

It's worth it.

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow x Reader : ACCIDENTS

Requested and idea from my boo @harlowcomehome

It was that time where you finally transitioned Mia into using the big toilet. Jack and you have been having a difficult time getting her to even use her small little potty seat, but after roughly months of trying to get her to go, it seemed like she finally got the hang of it all.

She just wanted to make sure there weren't monsters or fishes coming to get her while she peed. Funny little thing, you don’t even know where she got that from, but you couldn’t blame her since, you, a grown adult, has to always do a double take to make sure snakes weren’t hiding.

You and your little family were coming back home from your doctor's appointment and running errands.

As soon as you made it inside the house, Mia was jumping up and down. “I gots to go potty.”

“Go, go, go.” Jack reassures her and turns her towards the bathroom.

Next thing you know, you hear a loud splash. “EWWWW.”

You run towards the bathroom “What happe- JACKMAN!!!!!” You yell, you go to help your daughter stand up.

“Daddy did this?” She pretends to barf, “Ugh gross, my booty is wets.”

You’re fixing your daughter a warm bath so she can clean herself up.

“She had an accident?” Jack asks, walking into the bathroom, noticing Mia was in the bath.

“She fell inside the toilet, someone forgot to put the seat down.” You raise your eyebrows at him smirking.

“Yeah daddy, there’s ladies who live here and use that.” Mia sasses, splashing some water.

“I’m sorry bug, we were rushing in the morning and I guess I just forgot.”

“I could have drowned.”

You laugh at that, “Mia, you’re being silly.”

“Hmm, my butts got wets, so that’s no silly.”

“I know baby, but it was an accident.”

Jack nods, “I’m sorry bug, I promise to not leave it up no more.”

“We get daddy his own potty, he not know how to put it downs. That way he don’t forget.” Mia tries to reason with you.

“Yeah, Jackman, you need to learn how to put the seat down. Your daughter almost got eaten by the toilet.” You tease.

You help Mia out of the tub, wrap a towel around her little body and start drying her off.

Jack walks out but he comes back literally twenty seconds later with a pair of clothes for Mia.

Mia shakes her head dramatically, “Boys are yucky.”

Jack is nodding, but you can tell he’s getting a bit hurt by the teasing.

She looks at Jack , “You no yucky, I just kidding.”

“I know baby, I just need to remember to put it down.”

“Don’t be sads okay? It just didn’t feel nice. I still love you.” Mia reassures Jack, trying to comfort him because she can tell he was getting upset due to the teasing the both of you were giving him.

“I love you too baby, let me go double check that all the toilet seats are the way they're supposed to be.” He gives both of you a kiss on your forehead. “Then we can sit back and watch some movies.”

You both nod.

Mia makes sure her dad is nowhere near that he can hear what she’s about to say.

She rubs at your growing belly, and whispers “Baby brother we teach you not to leave it ups.”

You laugh at that.

You know damn well your daughter will not let this go.

She might not say it in front of Jack, but she’ll tell her uncles and her grandparents, and you know they’ll be making jokes about it for a while.

•••••••••••

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree

[yenqa]

GLUE SONG!!

synopsis : love songs were definitely your favorite song to write. but with little experience it’s hard to get the right words out, so you search left and right for any opportunity. until you realize, he’s been hiding in plain sight all along.

warnings : uhh theyre so awkward Lawl, i dont think theres any tho?? just fluff

wc : 606 words

003 : great minds think alike

Being productive on a Saturday morning was something you didn’t expect would happen. But your mom just couldn’t get out of bed this morning and forced you to buy ingredients for dinner.

Though, she let you use her money to go shopping as a reward for the fact you probably had to go to three groceries stores just for her special surprise of a dinner was truly a karma itself coming for you.

So you didn’t mind the fact you had basically gotten free money, even if you had to take a little detour on the way home.

Deciding to try a new cafe today, you pull open the heavy door admiring the calm atmosphere of it.

The cafe wasn’t busy, but still had a few people sitting around, a majority with eyes glued to their laptop and an empty coffee cup sitting next to them.

You walk up to the cashier, waiting for the tall man to notice you as you make sure they have the drink you want to order.

He looks up to you, eyes widening as he quickly puts his phone down, walking up to the cashier.

“Sorry, not many customers have come today, surprisingly, what can I get you?”

Before you can even realize, you say “Do you have a recommendation? I don’t know what to get.”

That's a lie. You always drink a latte.

“Oh, that’s okay, I always get the iced americano.” 

He has a faint smile on his face, and a slightly bigger one grows on your face. His smile is cute, You think, admiring how his hair is styled or the few moles on his nose.

“This is awkward, I don’t really like strong coffee flavors, do you have anything lighter?” You let out a chuckle while saying it.

“Oh—sorry um, you could get a latte? The weather is getting colder, can't have you catching a cold, can I?” He blushes slightly while saying that, making sure to look everywhere but you.

You want to curl up in a ball and roll away. Can you believe this gorgeous man is flirting with you and can’t even look at you? 

Quickly glancing at his nametag, you let out a grin, “Wow Sunghoon, we just met and you already care so much for me? And yes I’ll have a latte, please.”

He nods, adding the order to the machine.

“Sorry—Um I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, is that all for you?”

You let out a breathy smile, “Don’t worry Sunghoon, you didn’t. Yes that’s all.”

“Oh okay, sorry—Your total is four dollars and ninety-five cents, you can insert the card here.” He points at the small black box in front of you, you quietly thank him, paying and leaving to sit down.

Soon after you sit down, he places your cup down in the order station, unsure of how to get your attention as he looks at you awkwardly. Chuckling, you walk up to him, taking your drink.

“Thank you!” You glance at the glass doors you walked in, “I’ll see you around, yeah? I’ve got to run some errands for my mom.” 

“Oh—yeah see you around.” He waves goodbye as you happily take your drink.

The second your out of view Sunghoon sits back down, why does he have to be so awkward around everyone? Especially pretty people like you?

He thought he was crazy for flirting with you out of nowhere, he probably made you uncomfortable and now you’ll never come back to the cafe again. He sighs, going back on his phone to distract himself.

Little did he know that you’re thinking the same thing.

back masterlist next

YENQA > first meeting what do we think 🙏

taglist : @nicholasluvbot @latriii @wtfhyuck @wonqr @enhastolemyheart @luvistqrzzz @jiawji @yswon @fakeuwus @xharisrealm @yeokii @xrvrqs @wonfied @redm4ri @keikeu @melsjy @enhaz1 @wvnkoi @noascats @mrchweeee @collectaed @noirxraa @jakeists @sngvhs @yuemvi @delulu4-life @envirae @heelover5 @kjrcrz @darly6n @girlokarina

sorry if i missed u (if i did dm me!)

[natusvincere]

That Darn Cat || Sam and Vic

TIMING: about a week ago LOCATION: Downtown PARTIES: @natusvincere & @uncannysam SUMMARY: Vic comes across a scuffle, which turns out to be Sam being attacked by a Cat Sith. She has to decide if she wants to pet it, or help. CONTENT WARNINGS: none!

Vic was stressed. Things felt too upside down with the Good Neighbors, even more than she ever expected them too.  She knew when joining there was a good chance that something was awry, but conversations she’d been overhearing were pointing to something deeper than she had ever expected every day. And now, everything seemed to be happening all at once, faster than she was ready for.  But life rarely cared if she was ready.  

She was determined to do more research- to find out exactly who this ‘Winifred’ was and if she was really as nefarious as Vic had begun to expect.  Unfortunately, her leads were going nowhere fast, and she kept following ones that lead her to dead ends.  Actually, this one led her to a poorly-lit alleyway, but the sentiment was still the same.  She was about to head home, defeated, when she heard a commotion from the other end.  Even with her superior sight and hearing, she couldn’t quite make out what she saw, only that it seemed to be the beginning of a scuffle.  Instinctually, she slowly made her way toward the sight, trying to get a better look.

It had been a long day and the afterwork errands were always the hardest, especially when customers wanted to pick arguments or try and haggle prices with her. Luckily for Sam, she didn’t have too much to do. A quick trip here and there, and she could be back home to Scout and her nice comfy bed. However, that’s not what fate had in mind for her tonight. No, there had been something waiting just beyond the path back to her truck, and as Sam rounded the corner there it stood waiting.

At first, she had been startled by it, but as soon as her eyes adjusted, Sam realized it was a cat. An oddly very large black cat except for the one patch of white fur on its chest, but nothing too bad. Or so she thought, “Fuck, you scared me. What are you doing back here?” The animal cautiously moved towards Sam, soon rubbing up against her thigh and purring; its larger body pressing into hers slightly knocking her off kilter, “Hey, whoa. I don’t have anything okay? Just my groceries.”

As she continued to move forward, the cat followed her. Sam fumbled with her keys trying to get them into the door of her Bronco, but before she could, the animal rubbed up against her again, knocking them out of her hand, “Dammit.” Sitting her groceries on the ground, Sam dropped down looking for her keys and while doing so, she felt the animal rub some more as its purrs grew louder, and soon she found herself pinned up against the truck in a sitting position while this enormous cat continued to rub on her legs moving back and forth, “Okay, alright, I get it. You just want some love.” Reaching out, Sam put her hand on the back of the animal’s neck, but before she realized what was happening, the large creature pulled up its paw and smacked Sam across the cheek; claws fully extended.

“What the fuck?!” Yelping in pain, the woman pulled her hand up to her cheek only to find blood, and without thinking, she quickly shoved the animal off of her trying to scramble to her feet, before it could get another swipe in.

It was more than just a scuffle.  Vic knew, because as she walked closer toward it, the sickenly sweet smell of blood permeated the air around her.  Her instincts told her to pounce, or to let the creature do what it wanted and then eat up the aftermath.  But she was better than her instincts.  And extremely well-fed.  She was thankful for both of those facts.  But it seemed as she investigated further that what caused the blood was a… really big cat?  She found herself moving toward the scuffle in double time, trying to think of the best way to help.  “Hey!”, she said, in her loudest, booming voice, hoping to scare it away.  She even tried hissing at it, sticking her tongue out in the process and feeling entirely ridiculous.  “You need to get control of your demon-cat before it hurts you again”, she called to the woman, avoiding eye contact with the blood on her cheek.  What would it taste like, she wondered, to feed again from a warm body?

She shook her head, taking in a deep breath as she reached down for the cat, wrapping her arms around its belly and trying to pull it off the girl.  Even for someone of her strength, the cat was big, and she had to grunt out her words as she tried to pull it away.  “This… thing…has to be a…code violation…somewhere”, she grunted, setting her feet in place on the ground.  It wriggled in her grip, but she pulled it away so the girl just might have been able to wriggle away.  “But the best… thing to do…”, the cat finally wriggled from her grip, pacing between the two of them, “...is to get that thing trained.  Do you know how much of a fine they could charge you if it hurts someone else?” 

She watched the cat as it walked between the two of them, rubbing against both of their legs as it did so.  She remembered reading, years ago, how cats sometimes got overstimulated with too much affection, even though this one seemed to be actively seeking it out.  “Do you have a leash or something?”  She couldn’t ask about the girl’s injuries, because thinking about the blood and talking about the blood were two entirely different things, and she could only handle one of them. 

Sam continued to struggle with the massive cat, until she noticed someone come running to her rescue. Watching as the woman tried to convince the cat to leave, before she was actively tugging it backwards had given Sam the chance to get back to her feet, “This isn’t my cat! I was walking back here to get in my truck and leave, and it just came out of nowhere!”

The shorter woman quickly snatched up her keys from the ground, before the cat had broken free from the other person’s grip and started rubbing up against both of them, “Fuck if I’m getting fined for anything. Why does everything around here have to be so massively overgrown?” She looked down to her groceries and to the locked door of the truck. All she had wanted to do was gather up her stuff and leave, but she wasn’t about to leave this stranger, who had helped her, with this large cat that clearly had no training whatsoever, “What do you suggest we do with this thing?”

Sam backed up against the door of the Bronco while the animal moved back and forth between the two of them. It had done a number on her cheek, and she knew it was going to suck trying to doctor it considering blood was still trickling out of it. Pulling her shirt up, she tried to dab some of the crimson liquid off of her face, her eyes set on the woman standing across from her, “And thanks…this thing probably would've eaten me alive if you hadn’t come along. Sometimes it does not pay to be short in this town, when most animals are almost twice your size.” She let out a frustrated sigh.

“It’s something in the water”, Vic said matter-of-factly, shaking her leg free of the beast as it rubbed against her again.  She still knew how important it was to keep the average person off the scent of the supernatural, and this demon-cat was definitely some sort of zombie cat, or something.  “They put growth hormones in it a few years ago because our children were under the national average for height.  Someone must have overdone it this month.  Curse our natural yearn for being the best.”

She watched as the woman dabbed her shirt long her face, her eyes lingering on the spot left on the shirt.  Her eyes found the woman’s a little too late- she hoped she didn’t notice.  “It was nothing.  I uh… I hate cats, so…”.  She actually kind of liked cats, but the aloof facade was much more important.  “So I really did that more for me than you.”  

She looked back at the animal again, wondering the same thing.  “I don’t know- Animal Control in this town is usually pretty busy, aren’t they?  But… this bastard is pretty persistent.”  As if on cue, the cat took a break from rubbing against their legs to instead stand on it’s hind legs and rub against her shoulder instead.  She resisted the urge to reach out and give in.  “You don’t have any catnip in any of those bags, do you?”

Sam rolled her eyes at the answer dripping with sarcasm. Though a part of her did almost want to believe it. Wicked’s Rest was becoming stranger by the day, and the long she lived here and the more she discovered, Sam had wondered if her parents were as oblivious as she once was or if they just didn’t tell her about the things that went bump in the night. It really would’ve helped though, the night Zach was attacked, if they had known. But regardless, there was a situation in front of her, and one she and the other woman had to figure out, before it became more than just a nuisance. Things around here like to do that quite often – become more than just a nuisance that was.

“Oh, well, thanks I think. I mean, I’m more of a dog person myself, but cats are okay. This one, though…” Where did this thing come from? A zoo? And how were they going to get it back to whom it belonged to? Sam definitely wasn’t taking this giant ass feline home with her. It’d eat Scout and murder Sam in her sleep, “Animal control is really our only option though right? Unless you want to take it home with you.” Sam was hoping she would say yes, but there was definitely a slim-to-none chance she would.

Watching as it jumped up on the other woman, Sam took that opportunity to finally unlock her door and quickly throw her groceries inside, before the beast decided to shift its attention to her again. And though she didn’t do it, it had taken everything within Sam not to hop in the truck as well and drive off. But instead, she shut the door and shoved the keys back in her pocket for safe keeping, “Why would I have catnip, when I don’t even have a cat?” She narrowed her eyes in the direction of the woman and the massive cat.

Vic looked over at the creature, who was practically at eye-level, and tried to glare it into submission, the way a teacher might do with a small child.  It didn’t work, obviously, so her scowl momentarily switched to the woman in front of her.  “I have a 3-year-old and a Rottweiler, I don’t think my home would be the best fit.  You’re sure you don’t want to take it home?”

She wasn’t even sure a cat that size would fit in someone’s front door, nevermind make a good house pet.  “If we do call animal control, are we supposed to just… sit and wait until they come?  And what if it… goes rabid again?”  She didn’t mind squaring up with the demon cat if it tried to attack the woman again, but it would have been ever so humiliating to do it in public, especially in front of this stranger.  

Vic held her hands up in defense, the cat backing down as she did so. “Hey, it’s not my place to judge what you do or don’t do with catnip in your free time.  I can’t just go assuming you didn’t buy catnip.”  It sauntered it’s way back across to the other woman and Vic watched it carefully, on edge as she waited for it to pounce.  “It seems friendly enough now… what did you do it make it to angry that it tried to claw your face off?

When the other woman explained her home situation, Sam quickly realized there was no good option for this cat, “I’m positive. I live in an apartment, and I highly doubt this thing would even make it up the steps.” She couldn’t imagine trying to explain to the building manager why there was a massive cat living there. And she had her business to think about also. There was no way she was going to take a chance on hiding this thing, when the landlord could easily kick her out for a double pet violation forcing her to give up the space she rented downstairs for Escape Your Fate.

“I mean I don’t know. I’ve never dealt with a cat this size before…” Sam had seen some weird stuff, and though the cat was pretty, it was still intimidating, and she didn’t have time to wait around for someone to come and try and catch it. She had groceries and a hungry dog to get home to. “Are there any animal shelters around here close by?” Sam glanced back at her Bronco. She didn’t even think the thing would fit in the back, but maybe they could figure out a way to get it to follow them to a shelter.

With the idea swimming around in her mind, Sam was almost going to pull out her phone to check, but decided against it as she noticed the feline coming back over to her. Leaning up against the truck for support, she watched nervously as the animal began rubbing against her leg again, a bit distracted from the other person’s response, “Well…you assumed wrong.” Sam was careful to keep her hands by her side this time out of fear of getting scratched again, “I just went to pet it before. It looked like it wanted to be rubbed, but when I touched it, it freaked out on me.” Her heart rate picked up slightly as she heard loud, but soft purrs rumble from its throat, “It’s purring. What does purring mean? I’m not a cat person. I don’t know these things, and I don’t want to try and pet it again if it’s going to murder me…” She looked at the other woman somewhat panicked.

Vic gave a huff, looking down at the creature walking between their feet again.  She couldn’t imagine this creature on her massive property, nevermind a small apartment.  And then there was the whole issue of it being extremely dangerous and unpredictable…  No, she didn’t think either of them taking it would be a good idea at all.  “I don’t keep a list of all the animal shelters in town tucked away, you know”, she said, crossing her arms.  It was a lie, she knew exactly where all of them were, thanks to a rather unfortunate obsession with counting them a few years ago.  The alley they were in was about the farthest they could get from any of them.  The universe continued to show its way of being so unfortunately inconvenient.

The creature became obsessed with the other woman, and Vic noticed her anxiety.  When she was anxious, not much helped, unless she found herself painting. Maybe the girl needed some distraction herself.  “What’s your name?”, she called out of nowhere, avoiding the sight of the blood once more, hoping it wouldn’t pool up in any deliciously tempting ways.  “Mine is Vic.”

She squinted her eyes though, when the woman claimed all she did was pet the cat.  “The cat whisperer says cats get overstimulated.  Maybe it’s not used to affection.”  Although, the way the cat was rubbing up against the woman made it seem like it was definitely asking for more pets.  What the hell was up with this thing?  “Relax!  Purring is good.  It means contentedness, I think.  Or it could point to anger… what are the rates per minute of the vibrations?”

The more this thing rubbed against Sam, the more anxious she became. She didn’t like being cornered by a giant cat. It was like accidentally falling into the lion’s den at the zoo without any way of escaping. Sam was tiny. She always had been. And the harder this thing rubbed, the more claustrophobic she was starting to become. This woman’s smartass replies weren’t helping either. Thankfully that had all shifted, when Sam heard the question.

Forcing back the knot forming in her throat, mixed with a few cat hairs, Sam tried to focus, “Uh…It’s…It’s Sam. I wish this thing would just leave already.” She couldn’t go back any further into the door of the car and at this rate, she already felt like she was leaving a Sam shaped dent in her door. “Purring is good. Okay. Purring…wait…what?! How the hell am I supposed to know the answer to that?!” The question was so ridiculous that Sam laughed nervously, until she noticed the cat had quit rubbing and was staring up at her with narrowed slits, “Fuck.”

Closing her eyes and shaking in fear, Sam didn’t want to know what was about to happen next, until she felt it. The Bronco had jarred causing the woman to open her eyes. And when she looked up, the cat was looking down at her from a reclined position on the top of her truck, “Oh come on!!!” Sam growled in frustration as the cat stretched out and rolled around on the roof of the vehicle.

“I’m not going to let it hurt you, Sam”, Vic said, knowing her word probably didn’t mean much.  Sam didn’t know her from a hole in the wall, and if a stranger promised Vic safety, she might have laughed in their face and kicked their shins.  “It’s just an unfortunate side effect of this town.  Being afraid of it is just going to give it power.”  She didn’t know if that was true, but she didn’t want to see anyone feel so afraid, either.  Cats were supposed to bring joy, not…whatever this bastard was doing.  

Uh oh.  It was time to put her money where her mouth was, because that giant pussy-cat was getting dangerously close to Sam’s face.  She was almost too late to react too, until she realized the cat was jumping on top of the truck and not Sam like Vic had worried was going to happen.  Okay.  Maybe her confidence in her ability to fight it off had been false, because this thing was fast.  “Hey!”, she yelled at it, holding eye contact.  Cats hated that, right? She reached down, grabbing a rock from by her feet.  If she wanted to, she could have gotten it square between the eyes (she knew her aim was on point), but she wasn’t about to harm an animal only due to its large, threatening claws.  This was just about scaring it.  “Get outta here!”, she yelled at it, chucking the rock toward it.  It went straight over its head, like she’d planned, but the cat seemed especially interested in where it had landed.

Vic peered over the side of the truck, and a few feet from where the rock had landed, a squirrel was rustling through the dirt.  The cat’s position on top of the truck suddenly became low to the ground, like those lions in that movie Rosie loved when they were ready to pounce.  “Sam…”, she whispered, slowly walking toward the truck.  “I think its distracted…”

Hearing Vic yell at the cat had pulled Sam’s attention away from the massive animal. And in doing so, she slowly backed away from the truck and closer to the woman. The cat was at an even greater advantage now being on top of the Bronco, and if it decided to jump they were done for. But she watched as Vic bent down to pick up a rock and bravely threatened the animal. It was the chucking of the rock clear over the massive feline’s head that had surprised Sam. If that cat had been angered, they were both screwed.

But instead, it did something else. It followed the rock, before setting its eyes on a nearby squirrel. Sam quickly looked back at Vic upon hearing her whisper, “I-I think you’re right.” Her voice was shaky, but low, and slipping her hand into her pocket, Sam quietly pulled out the keys. She had been so careful not to jingle them knowing jingly shiny things were like crack to cats of all sizes. But the biggest issue had been her door. The Bronco was old, and no matter what, the doors squeaked. This was their only shot though, unless they ran, and Sam was pretty sure they couldn’t outrun a cat that size.

Holding her breath, she slowly opened the door as she kept her eyes trained on the animal. It’s body low and butt raised ready to pounce on the squirrel below, “Vic get in…” She waited with baited breath hoping the woman would slide into the truck and to the other side fairly quickly.

For a moment, Vic wondered who would be faster- herself, or the large, demanding cat.  She was faster than the average human, sure, but would she be quick enough to place herself in front of Sam if the cat tried to attack her again?  She wasn’t sure, and she slowly took a few silent steps closer to the truck for good measure.  She wasn’t about to risk losing someone innocent.  

Luckily, the cat pounced off the top of the truck, swiftly and sneakily, and the squirrel was still none the wiser.  She watched as it slinked through the grass and managed to blend in despite it’s size.  It was an entirely fascinating creature, and if it weren’t for their impending escape, she might have stayed to watch it for hours. 

Her eyes fell to Sam’s pocket as soon as she heard the keys jingle, and a small smirk formed on her lips.  Sam Smarty pants, that would be the name she’d put in her phone if they exchanged contacts.  It was a good idea, one that Vic’s fight mechanism hadn’t even glossed over.  She nodded, because duh, she got the idea, and she cringed visibly as the door creaked loudly as she closed it.  

The cat, who had gotten much closer to the squirrel by that point, lifted it’s head and looked toward the truck at the sound of the doors.  “How old is this thing?!”, Vic asked, wiping her hands off on her jeans.  She was about to scold the girl again to let her know how dangerous it was to drive an old, potentially unsafe vehicle, when from the other side of the window, she saw the cat running back toward the truck at double speed.  “Sam! Drive this death trap!  Now!”

Somehow, they managed to evade the cat safely, but Sam wasn’t able to escape Vic’s lecture about vehicular safety in an ever changing, dangerous world.  

[enigmatist17]

Athena promises never again to bitch about the heat ever again.

Well, at least for the next few months.

The 126 firehouse is a lot nicer than she would have ever figured for Texas, slipping out of Buck's borrowed Jeep with a crack of her neck. It felt nice to cash in one of the many favors he owed her, and after cleaning it out (seriously Buck, is it too hard to vacuum the floor???) it had been a comfortable drive for an uncomfortable errand.

"Can I help you ma'am?" A man that can only be described as a mountain had come up without Athena noticing, and she flashed a smile before slipping off her sunglasses.

"I suppose you can -?"

"Name's Judd."

"Athena Grant, I'm here to speak with Mateo Chavez."

"Is he in trouble?" A woman who had been working under one of the fire truck got to her feet, wiping some oil off from her hands as she popped her gum.

"Ah no, he's not in trouble, I just need to speak with him." The other raised an eyebrow, and Judd just shrugged at her.

"Not every day Mateo gets a visitor from out of town, so yea I'm curious. Marjan by the way, nice to meet you."

Athena couldn't help but shake her head out of amusement.

"No need to go guard dog on me, I'm an LAPD officer if that helps."

"Well well, how fancy." Marjan chuckled, looking around for a moment before whistling for someone Athena couldn't see. It takes a moment before someone comes bounding over, and her heart aches at the familiar yet unfamiliar face brimming with curiosity and a smile that rounds the corner. For a moment she can see the reason she's here, and with some hair dye and a cocky grin, he'd be right there.

"Um, hi!" The man waves, and Athena gives him a soft smile.

"Hello Mateo, it's nice to finally meet you."

"You know me?" Mateo blinked in confusion, and Athena slipped on her officers mask after taking a controlled breath.

"I do. Would you mind accompanying me to my car, I have some news that's best in private." They all can see that Athena has shifted her body language, however slightly, and the smile on Mateo's face falters as he nods.

"We'll be right here okay? Call if you need anything." The warning in Marjani's words are clear, but Athena knows they only come from a place of love as she leads Mateo to the car, making sure he's within sight of the multiplying eyes.

"Is something wrong ma'am?" He's not always the best at picking up social cues, but he knows that this Athena isn't here for something good.

"Your cousin Marvin, I've known him since he was a young kid." Mateo smiles a little, wondering if Athena is the cop he'd mentioned when Marvin was just starting out his "life as a badass".

"He's pretty fun right? I mean, I know he's in jail and all, but he's just a really nice guy otherwise." Marvin may have been misguided, but he'd taken something big so Mateo could live a life on his terms, and as such he kept his cousin in high regard.

"I know dear..." Athena's face turned to one of sympathy, and Mateo feels ice crawling through his veins. "Which makes this next part hard, I'm afraid. Marvin passed away a few days ago after his bail was posted, and had left a note for me to tell you this in person."

"...w-what?"

All Mateo can hear right now is the blood pounding in his veins, whatever Athena is saying next lost in the static of his scrambled thoughts. He watches in almost slow motion as she pops open the trunk, pulling out a trunk that Mateo had bought Marvin years ago and setting it down with a loud thud. The noise seems to have cleared the static, and Mateo suddenly can't breathe, trying to force air down his lungs as Athena moves towards him with worry. She pauses when Cap suddenly comes from nowhere, Strand snapping one of his fingers.

"Hey hey hey hey, focus on my finger okay? Focus on it, and I want you to reach out and squeeze my other hand okay?"

Mateo gave a jerky nod. He can do this, he can do this.

Cap's hand is warm as Mateo grabs it, clinging like it's the only thing that helps the air go down his aching throat.

"You're doing great, you're doing just fine okay?"

Has Owen's teeth always been so white? Or is it the dread of realizing he got his cousin killed making him think they are?

He just wants to go lay down and forget about everything right now.

"What did you say to him?" A man who looks similar to the captain rounds on Athena with a glare, and the mountain man is right behind him with his arms crossed.

"His cousin recently passed, and asked that I let him know personally." Athena crossed her own arms, and the younger man winced.

"That's awful kind of ya to come all the way down here." Judd loosened his stance, clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. "Would you like some coffee or somethin' ?"

"I'll take you up on that offer. Let me just put this back in my car." She motioned to the trunk at her feet, and there's a cough before she can lean down to grab it.

"I can take it." Mateo clears his throat, Owen stepping aside as he approached the container and knelt down, just staring at it with a slight frown. "I thought it was bigger..."

"Things always tend to be in our memories." Athena nodded, giving him a small smile when the firefighter glances up. "You know, he always had nice things to say about you."

"I'll get the coffee going, and TK why don't you make lunch?" A woman Athena hadn't seen before stepped in, and the younger Strand nods as he heads towards the kitchen. "Name's Tommy, nice to meet you Athena."

"Likewise."

While they're not the 118, of which their many exploits draw awe and laughter alike, the 126th has their own camaraderie Athena can't help but admire. Mateo is quiet for the most part, but occasionally smiles or chips in with his own part of a rescue, and Athena ends up watching them race out for a call, save Mateo who was asked to stay behind.

"Come on son, why don't you show me around Austin instead of moping by yourself. I could use the company." Athena offered her hand, the firefighter who had been sitting at the table looking like a kicked puppy glancing over before slipping off his seat and offering his arm.

"You like empanadas?"

"I'm not fussy, show me the way."

It may not have been the way she wanted to meet Marvin's cousin, but she was glad just the same to have at all.

[dailyrecaps]

That's why dividends are good - [a couple lunches out per month with your spendy co-workers who throw away their one-source-hard-earned dollars every day.] PAY YOURSELF FIRST, not the restaurant as you succumb to peer pressure.

*Realization 1. when raylyn wanted to check out a huge dragon/fairy chapter book... why don't you just imagine all your hopes reading in this book? What do you think happens? What all would you want to happen? What do you need to read the book for? Skip it. Write your own. Nonetheless, I let her get it.

2. Same. *Brain click. I observed myself outside myself again. Why am I reading this business book like I'm seeking some kind of authority? As if this contains all the answers I'm in need of. Then what? I go to the next book and the next, looking for more authority - someone to tell me its okay, to tell me how. I'm not looking for a book to vibe with, I'm not in need of authority. Write my own, be my own authority. Get help, discover for myself, like literally all the greats did. There wasn't this much knowledge back then. I need guts. Fail or fly. I need W.B. sense. I need structure and to lay out my long-term/overall plan. I need belief in that plan. To begin. It's going to work no matter what, I'll make it.

**+ the day I spent all day searching retail on the internet as if I was at a job, my life out of my control, trying to entertain/distract myself from the fact, like everyone else... no no no more. I'm an entrepreneur; remember, I didn't want to have time for that.

It takes one decision/one desire, then refusal thereafter to happily ever after.

I've made the most of the past 4 days since the start of his new job. I love it. Love how I now get to be/feel "cool mom," spend all day with them, whether it's school or anything else. Having the vehicle all the time helps. No more fucked over. No more helpless feeling of not able to do better when it all starts blending to nowhere. Able to be more responsible. Makes me want to run errands and make dinner.

Imagine, Brittany at home while he's at work in a crush state, on dates where he can squeeze them in on lunch breaks or on days off when they're away, spending it all up- time/money as he pleases in the moment, coming home to her, playing the game, she's easy just buy sugar, faking to stay lovable/delay any of her suspicion, to maintain sex and a home with the kids, bc it's the best of both worlds... [I'm dumb]. Imagine what Brittany is doing with her 8 hours of complete uninterrupted/self-guided freedom, that he never asks her about, and would she honestly tell? Other ppl's realizations and questions: what does she do all day? Investing/homeschooling, what do you mean? How's that going? How much does she contribute? Telling him, you're dumb. His suspicion - what if she's faking her jealousy? If everything about work/etc is truly unappealing to her? Should that make me lose belief in what I'm doing, where I've gotten/ led myself, where I was going to go? Don't for a second think that he has it better; remember. Never give this up. Protect/enhance it, work to keep it.

Here's what I did today. But I'll never talk about my genius-masterminding strategy learned. Only I can make me happy.

Learned how to breathe from guy sprinting past me :) Enough oxygen funneled through and pushed out quickly to regain more faster = energy flow. And the principles translate from one field to another. Didn't grasp it here, then won't do it there.

[katerinaaqu]

Girl girl GIRL! Like come on it was a silly thing I wrote on the go before I ran out for some errands! Surely it is not THAT good! Like.....girl!!!!!

I always LOVE your comments though! Like I feel like amazing commenters like you see stuff that I do not know I have here! Hahaha! Besides it was your incredible image that did the trick girl!

Maybe! Maybe this is how we can start the story! Hahahaa just like Homer starts the plot from the middle of things and all! So yeah I see no reason why not indeed! Awww thanks that was what I wanted to show here! How he is their leader and how he feels responsible for everything and all!

Oh gosh girl! Seriously now! It was just an idea that came to my head that I thought he would be discussing these plans with his immediate subordinates and all! I just thought it would fit for him! But oh boy I am so happy you like it! Also yeah I know technically we haven't 100% settled at the role of Drake in this AU I just couldn't help adding him to the bunch here! Hahaha

Hhahahaha well he is the survivor against all odds that's for sure but yup! Basicaly our little Meridian!Odysseus hahahaha! Yup he is a bit more humble but still a little show off! Hahahaha

Oh gosh most likely he has given them more than enough reasons to be worried much more poor Diego! Hahaha! Oh yeah I imagined the poor guy has a random image out of nowhere that leaves him more questions than answers and the poor guy just needs to put them together! Man! So yeah I imagined him even if h has a vision he doesn't fully trust it and wants something else to be sure (Hahahahahaha! For sure! Especially Diego at this point! Hahahahahaha! Poor dude will be REAAAAAALLY tangled! Hahahaha!)

Hhehehehe yup! As always! On the sadder side he also needs some privacy to pray or to show ore emotions so he will not discourage the others with his own worries. Hehehehehe it was a random thing It was inspired by the Iliad omen with the eagle and the snake! Hahahahaha! Maybe it was indeed! Awwww thanks dear! Hahahahahahaha! Oh gosh no he wouldn't like that that's for sure! Hahahahahaha! Yup! Possibly Caleb can feel her already!

Awww I am glad you liked it! I do like to add random details like that in my stories like random movements or actions! Aww girl come on! To be honest I did consider that, that he would simply wish to sleep under the stars and suddenly begin to rain but I had this random thing in my head here so I thought to use it Hahahahahahaha silly cowboy indeed! Hahahahahahaha!

YUUUUUUP SHE IS HEEEEERE! For real! I would expect that gods must feel some sort of connection with the people they wish to tutor if they are not related by blood with them and man it so fitted for her to be like that! Awww yeah she goes mama hen with him already! Hahahahahahahaha of course she does! XD It's the hat! XD Aww thanks! I just thought that would be perfect here and your beautiful image surely helped!

Oh shush girl! Your dialog was amazing! Shush!

Hahahahahahaha! Nope! He is groggy sleepy and fucking in love! Hahahahaha! and oh gosh the goddess surely was captured! Hahahahahaha! Oh gosh now Imagine the god of love be like having a party behind doing a victory dance like "YESSSSSSSSS! Best shot ever baby! Boom!"

Hahahahahahaha! Caleb always must be cheesy! There is no other way! Hahahaha! Awwww I am so happy you liked that dear! Oh hosh for real though! No wonder she is so much ready to sacrifice those wings because damn he is worth it!

Awww yeah silly twitterpated boy! Hahahahahaha! Oh gosh good question! Hahahahaha his men be like "Man are you okay?" hahahahahaha checking his temperature and all! Hahahaha maybe he claims it was a vidion of some kind! Hahahahahahaha! Oh gosh! Poor Diego though! Hahahahaha

But the rest of his men would be like:

'That was good never heard of that before!' hahahahaaha!

Oh come on dear really I am ashamed at how plain that is! But I am so happy it made your day a bit!!! Your coment made my day too!

More Mythology AU✨ Caleb sleeps as Goddess Dilla (shifting between her bird and human form) shelters him from the rain. ❤️

As he stirs awake his eyes widen in wonder, captivated by the ethereal being before him. Without thinking his hand reaches out to touch her, desperate to know if she’s real.

In that tender, fleeting moment, Dilla's heart races. This mortal, with his simple gesture, awakens a feeling deep within her, something she has never known in her long, lonely existence.

[silverdelirium]

hi! can you do one where draco and the reader are married (don’t make them old please make them like the married rich pretty milf and dilf couple), and they have a daughter. anyway, draco is out because of work/something else (it’s up to u) and the reader is with their daughter and they get into a small fight and the daughter says something really bad/hurtful to the reader (her mother) and the reader like gets sad (make it bad so it can be dramatic😏) and when draco gets home he finds the reader like crying (smoking too bc a milf smoking is hot but if you don’t want to add it it’s fine) and yeah basically the rest is up to you :)) ily hope ur well and fine. <3

CIGARETTES & INSECURITIES | D.M

thank you hoe @selenesheart for helping me with the title ily

warnings: anxiety, lowkey panic attack, insecurities of being a bad mother, mean child, smoking, angst w a happy ending

———

draco’s hurried steps were heard echoing across the hallway as he rapidly made his way downstairs, cussing his boss out under his breath for calling him on a fucking Sunday. the same sunday he was about to spend basking in the love of his wife and child, all expectations now turned to mush.

“i’m sorry i have to go, my love. call me if you need anything, okay?” spoke draco, tone soft as he held your face in his hands, giving you one last sad smile before pressing a sweet kiss on your lips.

you gave him a feeble nod in response with a reassuring smile, watching him storm off in long strides, still swearing in hushed whispers and with a flick of his wand, he was gone.

you instantly took notice of how intense the atmosphere got around the manor- almost scary. deadly quiet with your four-year-old toddler still asleep and big curtains blocking any sunlight from coming in.

it almost caused goosebumps to rise on your arms as if the universe was already warning you of the day you were gonna have to deal with today.

maybe the first bad thing to happen today was being woken up by draco’s phone going off like crazy with calls of his boss and endless text messages of his colleagues.

it didn’t matter though, you had other things to worry about. your toddler was already walking down the stairs with a sleepy stare as she made her way to you, immediately taking notice of how there was no trace of draco, and looking around for any signs of her father.

“hi there” you greeted, giving her a sympathetic smile when she asked for draco, her small body already wrapped around your torso. a small sigh with a brief explanation of a work emergency was given to her. her sour mood amplifying a tenfold for every word that left your mouth.

she stayed quiet for a moment, and just as you started beaming at the thought of calming a daddy’s girl- she sobbed heavily in your ear, clinging hard to you but still screaming for draco.

a grimace found its way to your face along with a sorrowful expression as you shushed her down, tracing your fingers down her spine; a small trick you always did to relax her in days like this.

her sobs quieted down but she still cried silently in your shoulder, hot tears rolling down her face that had you questioning whether you should call your husband or not, the thought accompanying the insecurity of being a terrible mother who can barely keep her child tranquil.

after a few minutes of letting her pour all her emotions out, you made a path to the kitchen and sat her down on the barstool, wiping her tears away as she huffed in what seemed to be an angry expression.

“would you like some breakfast, baby?” you spoke, tone soft and slow as to not aggravate the situation.

“i want daddy”

“he’s- he’s not here right now” you tried to reason, watching as she took a deep breath but said nothing.

you turned around to head for the stove. but your ears caught a small murmur of “you’re the worst” coming from none other than your daughter.

a thunder-struck look adorned your face, blinking back the tears that found their way to your waterline.

ever since you found out you were pregnant, the anxiousness of being a not good enough mom had filled you in seconds, thinking of the worst scenarios possible throughout the pregnancy. draco was always there to ease your nerves a bit, yet, never quite pushing them away completely.

and jesus- did that simple three-word sentence stung painfully at your heart.

you stayed frozen in place for a few moments before taking a deep breath and quickly collecting yourself, continuing your errands around the kitchen as you made an effort to ignore the way your hands became clammy and heartstrings were pulled harshly in your chest.

the rest of the day went painfully slow, your daughter completely ignoring you and just curling up on the couch or playing in her room, always slamming the door in your face whenever you attempted to talk to her. your back also aching from having to do all house chores by yourself. every once in a while getting a text message from draco, rushed typos of “i love you” and “i’m gonna be there soon”.

——

the clock read 6:07 P.M and you held the cigarette to your lips with shaky fingers, tears blurring your vision as all the frustration from today came crashing down at once.

sobs rocked through your body as you inhaled the smoke and blew it out past your nostrils. warm, thick tears not coming to a halt even once.

your cries muffled every sound around you. not taking notice of draco who was now frantically searching for you, already finding your daughter safe and asleep on the couch. yet you were nowhere to be found.

it took one look at the cigarette package on the dining table for draco to locate you. he knew about your anxiety and how bad it got when triggered.

his heart ached and fists clenched at his side as he turned to his baby girl, snuggling her deeper into the thick fluffy blanket before making his way to the porch where you sat with a hand to your sternum, big clouds of smoke fogging the air around you.

“oh, baby” he sympathized, not giving you time to react as he enveloped you in a big hug, feeling the way your curled your fists on his shirt and sobbed quietly, taking ragged breaths every once in a while.

after a few minutes of taking shallow breaths, you pulled your head back from his chest, just enough to stare at his face, his bright grey eyes running down every feature you had, almost like he was studying it.

“what happened today?” he whispered, closing his eyes and connecting his forehead with yours.

you released a breath through your nose and lit off the cigarette on the small table next to you before explaining every small detail from today to draco, a few tears escaping at some points.

once you were done, draco removed his head from yours, pulling back and displaying both of his palms on your cheeks, observing your tear-stained face made him ache with sorrow.

“my love” he started “you are the world’s greatest mother to ever exist, a bad day with your child does not define your abilities as a mom. she loves you, we all do. you don’t know how fuzzy she gets when you’re not here.”

his words made a small smile crack through your lips, buzzing nerves slowly weighing down after every syllable he spoke.

“we would all be doomed if it wasn’t for you. every parent has a bad day, do not beat yourself up for it, it happens to the best of us.” he finalized, chest swelling with pride once he saw how you were full-on beaming, puckering your lips like a silent sign for a kiss which he gladly provided.

“i love you” you mumbled against his mouth.

“i love you more” he responded.

———

🏷: @spencervera @methblinds @marrymetheonott @adrianscumslut @wh0re4blaise @turn-to-page-394-please @fredshufflepuff @malfoysbiitch @saggyb1lls @selenesheart @metaraxia @dracoslittlesluttyprincess @dracomalfoys-wh0re @dlmmdl @fleursbabe @riddleswh0r3crux @lolooo22 @darlingmalfoy @littlemissnoname13 @i-love-scott-mccall @underappreciated-spoon-321 @steveharringtonswhore @dracosafety @dracoscum @riddleswh0rekrux @laceycallisto @slytherinbabess @lostaurorax @alexavolturisblog @s1ater @marauderswh0re1 @starless-starkov @black-rose-29 @tattooedkermit @purpleskymalfoy @emma67 @mypainistemporary @mauvea @teenwolfbitches28 @lissa-duh @paniicing @rav3nclawwhore @yagamigf

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[writtenbyrain]

Hit Play, Pause, and Purr

Word Count: 974

Summary: When Chat Noir has nowhere to go on Halloween, Marinette decides to invite him over for a movie night to watch Kiki's Delivery Service.

Notes: A huge thank you to @auroraesque and @foreverwolf for being my beta readers! I needed a break from my 9 to 5 and, the next thing I knew, I was thinking about a Marichat movie night. It was just a fun, short little escape for my day, and I hope you enjoy!

“Wait, I’m confused, I thought you said we were going to watch an anime movie.”

“This is anime, kitty. Haven’t you ever heard of Hayao Miyazaki’s animated films? Or Studio Ghibli?”

Marinette couldn’t help but giggle at Chat Noir’s confused pout, but his smile reappeared as soon as his eyes slid over and met hers.

The boy poked a finger at the tip of Marinette’s witch hat, his touch light. The hat sat straight up on her head, the sheer black base adorned with glitter and starry sequins; it would be all too easy to accidentally snag a claw in it.

“I can’t say I have, Purrincess.” He hoisted their shared blanket up around his head, flattening his ears as he burrowed deeper. “But it’s got an adorable black cat and it’s one of your favorites, so I’m in either way.”

Yesterday, Ladybug had asked her partner if he had any plans for Halloween. After all, the holiday itself seemed right up his alley — all dark and playful and sweet. But when he admitted with a half-hearted shrug that he had nothing going on, she made sure to flag him down later on as Marinette and insist he come over for a movie.

Now, the two sat cross-legged, their knees just barely brushing on top of the nest of blankets and pillows scattered about Marinette’s room.

In preparation for the night, she had put out a wide variety of macarons — Marinette wasn’t sure what flavor, exactly, was his favorite, though he appeared to gravitate toward the passion fruit ones — as well as a plate of chocolate croissants.

“Well that’s all the more reason we have to watch it!” she exclaimed, shaking the remote. “It’s practically sacrilege to love anime but not know Studio Ghibli. We’ll have to watch more of these movies later on.”

She hadn’t lied, of course. Kiki’s Delivery Service was one of her favorite movies and had been since she was a small girl.

But this year she had the added motivation of dressing up as a witch, knowing that a certain black kitty would be by her side. Halloween was for dressing up, so who said she couldn’t cosplay a little… even if she was staying in?

Throughout the start of the movie, Chat Noir remained fixated on the screen, grinning when Kiki took flight and nodding in approval after she was affectionately taken in by Osono, the baker.

For Marinette, watching Chat Noir’s enjoyment was almost better than watching the movie itself.

“Wait.” Chat Noir grabbed the remote to pause the movie. “So how is she going to get the toy back?”

Kiki was in the middle of one of her first errands, but it had already gone awry. Jiji had to temporarily take the place of the small cat figurine she had been hired to deliver, and now she had to hunt it down if she was to save the job and get her beloved cat back.

“That’s what she’s trying to figure out too, Chaton.”

That adorable pout was back. Marinette grabbed a passion fruit macaron and popped it into his mouth with a gentle smile.

“We’ll just have to find out together,” she said.

Chat Noir took a bite and put the cookie down before crossing his arms in feigned annoyance.

“But you already know the ending,” he pointed out.

“Well, then I’ll pretend I don’t.”

Chat Noir paused in consideration before stealing Marinette’s hat and fixing it onto his own head with a satisfied grin. It sat slightly askew, fitting over only one pointed ear.

Marinette chuckled and suppressed the urge to reach out and right it for him.

“Okay, we can pretend,” he said. “After all, I don’t want to bring the wrong cat-itude to movie night.”

“Nope,” she agreed. “We wouldn’t want you feline left out.”

The hat started to slide sideways.

Before it could fall, Marinette quickly leaned forward to grab the brim with one hand and steady herself on his shoulder with her free hand. The hat crisis was averted, but—

Marinette froze.

Oh God, she had gotten really close.

The television provided just enough light for her to make out the faint blush pooling into Chat Noir’s cheeks as he met her eyes, mere inches away. She looked away and bit her lower lip as she felt her cheeks begin to warm, as well.

“Umm, let’s keep watching,” she suggested. She put down the hat and hastily pulled back to reach for the remote.

Before she could hit “play,” however, Chat Noir pulled her back, one hand tugging gingerly on her wrist.

“You can, um, sit closer,” he mumbled self-consciously. “If you want to, I mean.”

The warmth in Marinette’s cheeks slowly traveled down to her chest, leaving her giddy and nervous in a way that… was actually not as scary as she had expected.

Despite the initial awkwardness of the moment, neither of them pulled away from the contact.

“Okay,” she said slowly. “I… I’d like that.”

After retrieving the remote, Marinette sat back and tilted her head to rest on Chat Noir’s shoulder. Slowly, he rested one hand on her knee and leaned his cheek against her hair with a contented sigh.

The rest of the movie was infused with this hesitant warmth, the night passing with a sense of companionship that was so new yet so familiar all at once.

Eventually, Kiki would get her power of flight back. She would save Tombo and write to her parents, assuring them of her newfound joy.

And under their shared blanket — wrapped in fleece and dessert crumbs and laughter — Marinette felt just as happy. In fact, she thought she had never experienced anything quite as sweet as having Chat Noir’s infectious smile so near to her own.

She wouldn’t have wanted to celebrate Halloween any other way.

[danafeelingsick]

Are there any genshin impact characters you think would have chronic stomach issues that would cause them constant nausea, vomiting and stomach pain or gurgling?

let me start off by saying, i had to do some research because chronic illness is kind of a new area for me, but that was interesting. i tipically shy away from anything scat-related as I'm not into it in the slightest, that's why i didn't point to any specific issue, more just mixed and matched symptoms to what i think fits best. that being said, thank you for this ask, anon. i went a little ham on this, so sorry if i went a little off topic.

headcanons under the cut

Kaeya

He would be one to have the worst stomach issues behind closed doors and no one would have the minimal idea. While drinking and eating regularly with acquaintances gives him the approachable facade so useful to his double nature, it also takes a toll on his stomach. Given how much greasy pub food and sugary cocktails he goes through in a night, and how demanding his post as a glorified errands boy is, it's surprising he manages to keep a straight face while his stomach is trying to eat itself.

Razor

This poor boy probably has had a lot of issues adapting to the food of Mondstadt, given how long he spent living with his pack of wolves, surviving off raw meat and whatever else he could gather. Foods too elaborate, like anything above the complexity of a roast, would leave him with indigestion, or pretty much his body would just reject it with growls and noisy complaints.

Bennett

Another poor boy, always short on his luck, probably has food poisoning so frequently he can barely tell when something he ate has gone sour. Canonically a pretty strong stomach, given how much he's been through, but that has left a big scar on him. Even if what he ate was perfectly okay, just the suspicion of poisoning would leave him anxious, and everything just wouldn't settle in his belly.

Jean

She's so stressed and tired all the time, that her poor stomach probably can't handle much anymore, so any heavy or fatty foods leave her sluggish and nauseous. That, combined with the deprivation of food in exchange for efficiency and more work done, and the constant medication to counter that. Poor Jean probably has a lot of acid reflux and heartburn as a result, that sometimes could lead to her vomiting seemingly out of nowhere.

Diluc

While I just love to dump every curse imaginable onto Diluc, canonically I think he would be pretty much immune to anything sickness other than poisoning attempts. Now, headcanon-wise, I think he would have quite the list of food intolerances, stuff he would not inform his cooks, but just turn his nose to it. This boy is a ball of stress even though he doesn't show it, so indigestion, acid reflux, and general queasiness would be part of his daily routine.

Tartaglia/Childe

He used to be better than this, so much better. But his job as a fatui harbinger, the physical and mental strain, the constant traveling, by foot, by wheel, by sea, by wind, and the transformations. It's killing him little by little, but he refuses to acknowledge it even when his stomach decides to turn itself inside out and he can't keep even water down for who knows how long the next episode will last? If the stress wasn't enough, the foul legacy transformation is there to leave his health in shambles. There are days he can barely get out of bed because of how much it hurts and days when the pain is just a numb echo in the back of his mind.

(welp, that went for a little too long)

Zhongli

I couldn't resist not putting him here. For the sake of the plot, he normally can deal with most foods and his stomach takes everything pretty well, but he has days where his human form is just unstable, and eating feels like an alien experience for him. Food doesn't go down, or it just doesn't digest, it tastes off, it hurts him, and that hurts him even more, for good food is one of the few reasons he's still living among the mortals. Being reminded of it, that he's not human, and he's no longer an archon, and that erosion will catch up to him sooner or later, just leaves him... hollow.

Albedo

He doesn't need to eat, necessarily, being a homunculus and all, or at least I headcanon as much. But he does so to blend in and feel any joy from tasting delicious meals. Canonically he eats spiders, so I don't he's opposed to eating strange combinations, or trying out concoctions just to know what it'll do to him. More often than not Albedo has trouble processing all the food he ate, sometimes even going past what he can hold, and landing himself in a pretty bad stomach ache. While he does overwork himself to the point where no human could survive, he barely notices when he's truly ill. Albedo also eats to soothe the constant queasiness and discomfort in his belly from not eating properly.

Xiao

He's about the same deal. Doesn't need to eat, and doesn't need to sleep, but in his case, he's not looking to blend in. Canonically he used to consume dreams, and now he eats the almond tofu because it reminds him of the texture. I think Xiao is just constantly hungry and suffering that hollow burning feeling in his stomach until he can find something to soothe it, be it snow or almond tofu since everything else always comes back up. His stomach just can't hold onto foods he hasn't conditioned himself to process over so many years. Xiao's stomach is probably very noisy for his size, but most don't seem to notice as he doesn't stay in their presence for long.

Thoma

He has had some bad encounters with Ayato's culinary before, and the semi-frequent stomach issues he would get from it have probably strengthened him over the years. Only to the extent where he can hide any discomfort for as long as he needs, just to keep the appearances for his lord and his lady. Thoma's also overworked to the bone, to the point where exhaustion equals a long period of stomach pains and queasiness.

Gorou

This poor boy. He works so hard, he thinks of others before himself, and he's there if anyone needs him, but ultimately he'll choose to suffer alone. Being a dog (I'm not all that sure where stands), his list of things he can't even dream of eating is extensive, so more often than not, his stomach is revolting against him for not paying enough attention, or for just opting to eat something because it was the only thing available. While he tries to hold onto to vomit until he just can't anymore, he'll end up hurting his airways in the process, spelling a long while of difficulty swallowing, heartburn, and more food deprivation because of it.

Arataki Itto

My beloved. This lovely Oni comes packed a shit ton of allergies, the worst of all being beans, where even a single one could spell death for him. This happens on an almost daily basis, where besides the almost instant anaphylaxis and the vomiting spells that come from actually consuming the beans or just coughing so much he ends up hurling, his throat and stomach are left completely sore and extremely sensitive. Itto has trouble swallowing and keeping food down after he comes out of a particularly serious episode of allergy. More vomiting on top of that just never let's his esophagus heal. On top of that, acid reflux, a sore throat, s constantly noisy stomach and chest pain are just realities for him, but that doesn't stop him from shouting everywhere he goes. A gassy belly and obnoxiously loud burps are also included.

Shenhe

She's been training in isolation, in the mountains, eating nothing but flowers. Naturally, she's constantly suffering from nausea and abdominal pains, but years of meditation and concentration have teached her on how to push those obvious signs of her body asking for help to the back of her mind. Shenhe can't stomach anything other than the divine herbs she had learned to tolerate, her stomach just rejects it, sending her into the worst vomiting spells she has ever experienced. But that doesn't stop her from trying, forcing herself to eat like a human, not an adeptus, for the sake of her new friends.

Kamisato Ayato

Exhaustion is this man's only weakness. Ayato works himself to near collapse when he needs to, and that only serves for a sluggish sickly Ayato when he manages to wake up. Only then he'll notice how long he's gone without food, and how now his stomach is loudly complaining. He might vomit from migraines, from going too long without proper sustenance, from sleepless nights, and as result, his stomach becomes more and more fragile with each passing day.

[dcptcnx]

Can you do a scenario where the girl is in the same store and same time Megumi is running his errands but he develops a crush on her when she sees her and he doesn’t know how to find her so he somehow asks Yuji for help. They find her and Megumi asks her for help with something minor just to start a connection with the girl he has a crush on🥰

I’ve been wanting to ask but I wanted to think of a cute/nice scenario and since is Megumi (a guy that isn’t too open or extroverted) I thought it had to fit his style a bit😅

Sorry for the long Ask, but thank you for your work, I appreciate it🌸

NONNIE! THIS MADE ME HAPPY!!!!! Hope I did okay with this !

Book Smarts

¥ pairing: Megumi Fushiguro x F!Reader

¥ genre: fluff

¥ wc: 1,302

Megumi loved to read. Lately, he’s been out of it, as well as not having anything new to read. So he decided to stop by the newest bookstore that opened up to check out what their selections consisted of. Megumi is always quiet when it comes to his personal life; not letting people read him like an open book. He usually likes to read non-fiction books, but he thought maybe he should expand his options and explore different genres of books and stories, to possibly clear his head from the school stresses he’s enduring.

He arrived at the new store, stopping at the door to take note of the features of the building. Small, rustic, and comforting. Megumi was really good at judging establishments based on how well the outdoor aspect was taken care of. The more aesthetically pleasing the place, the better the selections they had to offer. With a soft exhale, he gently pulled on the door, a quick breeze pushing through, before the door separated the quiet from the loud outdoors.

The building looked small on the outside, but Megumi was quite surprised at the floor-to-ceiling shelves it showcased full of all kinds of books. He wouldn’t admit it, but the aroma of the place was very calming. A combination of book pages, essential oils, and flowers. A gentle smile crept on his face, glad that Yuuji and Nobara didn’t tag along with him. If they found him happy like he is right now, they’d never stop teasing.

“Rand, Rand…” He whispered to himself as he scoured the many shelves looking for this author’s name. When he arrived at the shelf labeled “R” he scanned for the name until he found the book he was looking for. As he began reaching, another hand, though much smaller, also reached out to the same book.

“O-Oh! I’m sorry! You can take the book if you want! I’m sure I can find something else…” A sweet and kind voice spoke up, making Megumi’s face heat up. She was beautiful. Her hair looked smooth, like she took great care of it. Her outfit was very comforting, like she dressed to stay covered, but light enough to stay cool. Her face was starting to form a red tint, which caused Megumi to mentally curse himself for not speaking at all.

“H-Here. I wasn’t sure i-if I’d buy it…” He gently hands her the book, looking away with a blush on himself. “I can get it later or something..”

The girl blinked, taking the book from his hands, and before she could catch his name, he was already gone.

Megumi hated how nervous he got when meeting someone new, especially a really cute girl. He was quick to exit the store, blush still radiating on his features, as he pulled out his phone to text the one person he felt would be of help.

‘Yuuji, I need help.’

‘Huh? You?’

‘It’s a girl. She’s really cute. Idk how to approach her.’

He hated admitting his failures to others as well, so when texting Yuuji his dilemma, he couldn’t help but feel more embarrassed.

Over the course of a few days, he and Yuuji would visit the same bookstore in hopes of seeing her, but she was nowhere to be seen.

“You sure it wasn’t some curse?” Yuuji asks quizzically, almost laughing as if it was a possibility with the Fushiguro.

“No. She wanted a book I also wanted. I gave it to her.”

Sighing to himself, he and Yuuji leave the store, feeling a little defeated. ‘And I let her get away…dammit Megumi.’ He thought to himself, mentally regretting not manning up and asking her name or anything. Once they both returned back on campus, Megumi made a note to himself that he’d go by the store one last time tomorrow, hoping, pleading, that she would be there.

And that day came.

After his classes, he made the trek to the bookstore, and once inside, he wasted no time to look at the shelves for the same book he’s been wanting. As he made his way, he saw books that piqued his interest and made him stop to examine them, until a new book made its way into his peripherals.

“H-Here you go.” A soft and kind voice spoke up to him, and when he looked over, it was her. The girl who he’s developed a small crush on by only ever seeing her once. “I found another copy in the back, and held onto it, hoping you’d come back.” She looked away, her blush evident still even when not in direct view.

‘Hoping I’d come back?’ He replayed her words in his head, shocked to hear that she waited for him to return. He took this moment to really look at her features, really take note how she looked. She wore a pastel pink shirt that had small bunnies all over. Her pants were a dark blue color that fit nicely on her body, not too big and not too tight. She had her hair half way tied back, with a black bow clipped where it’s tied back, which Megumi thought looked beautiful on her.

“Thanks. But uh…” his voice was quiet, almost wavering with nerves as he couldn’t find what to say. “Y-You work here?”

Her face started heating up, before giving him a smile that made his heart speed up. Her smile was so pretty that it could cast light in the darkest of shadows in his life.

“Yeah…I kept hearing my coworkers mention a boy with dark erratic hair coming in everyday, and I hoped it was you…” She shifted her gaze to the bookshelf they stood at, recognizing it where they first ‘met’. “I’m glad it was. I was hoping I could talk to you about the book you wanted.”

Megumi blinked, heart hammering in his chest as he listened to her smooth voice, watching her reach up to grab the copy she had grabbed that day. “Y-Yeah. I heard about it online and it seemed interesting.”

“You like dystopian novels?!” Her gaze was brought back to Megumi, eyes beaming with happiness, only to quickly look back at the shelf in embarrassment of her excitement.

He couldn’t help the small smile forming on his features, her excitement over books was calming, as he found someone he could hopefully talk about books with. And hopefully grow as a person with.

“I’ve recently enjoyed the concept.” He muttered, looking down at the book she saved for him. ‘Anthem’ by Ayn Rand. He’s read about the book online, and was drawn in by the way the story is written differently. “From what reviews I’ve read, it seemed like a good book.”

“I was happy to see someone reading the book I like a lot.” She mentioned, smile grazing her lips once more. “W-would you maybe…like to talk about it sometime?”

Megumi’s face blushed at the way she asked him. It sounded so cute and innocent, and he was loving it.

“I-I’d love that. I’ll read it with you too, if you want-“

A gentle giggle escaped her, as she nodded her head and turned so she looked like she was working. Megumi couldn’t help but admire her once more, wondering how he got lucky to catch the attention of someone like her.

“I know of a nice quiet coffee shop we can go to and stuff…?”

“I-I’d like that.” Her gaze met his, only to scrunch when she realized she didn’t know his name.

“Oh, It’s Megumi.” His face steady red, eyes darting over her face and back to the shelves hoping to not be obvious.

“Megumi…I like that.” Her smile came back, before she handed him a piece of paper with her number on it.

“Y/N. Thank you for coming back.”