#she had no where to go. she couldnt run anymore becuase her age. and he just. let the dog get her. breaks my heart.

[citrus-sours]

If your a dog owner who brags about how your dog would kill a cat in an instant, maybe go fucking off yourself and give the dog to someone who can actually handle it.

[buddaheadcannonsonice]

Rika’s back and MC gets left P. 5

Rika is back and MC gets sick at the same time she feels abandoned. Part 1 (x) | Part 2 (x) | Part 3 (x) | Part 4 (x) | Part 5 (x)

Some say that people experience 3 different loves throughout their lifetime

The first: the young, idealistic kind of love that looks right but may not feel right

The second: the hard love; where lessons are learned and the kind of unbalanced love where making it work is more important that if is actually should work

The love we wished was right

And finally

The third: the wrecking ball; the one we never see coming and teaches us why the rest didnt work out

Looks wrong; but feels right and lasts

Not always will each be experienced in close age gaps following another; some never experience all three

Others are fortuante and only experience one or two

and others believe they have experienced all three in another life

But sometimes love is only a concept and not real for some people in the sense that love only has to be sexual or romantic  and not familial

Whatever the case you need to acknowledge the different loves

Because love is more than just romantic or classified;

Not always will they be romantic or have enough power in them to stir a storm in you, but there is always a level of light within each love

Sometimes, it can be hard to realize, accept, and even move on from; but sometimes it’s best to move on from them, even if they are your family

---

You don't think you can move

The sounds of blades ripping through the air make your ears hurt and pop

Someone is caressing your head

and someone else is gripping your hand

You don't know where you are or why

But you don't feel like you should be there

The voices are distant and unlike anything you can understand

Sometime later the loud blades stop and you’re being lowered by a few people and wheeled away

You hear people arguing and yelling and you still can't open your eyes

Why can't I see?

You can't move either

You feel needles entering you

Machines all around

And feel nice, clean oxygen enter your nose through tubes

Am I in trouble?

You still cant hear well

But you can feel

You feel someone squeeze your hand and someone kiss your cheek

You don't know where they went but after a few minutes they all left

--- Jahee ---

She can't believe it

She doesn't

Not at first, not until V explains

He explains that Rika had always been sick

that she needed to save everyone and help in anyway she could to feel needed and loved

V explained how she could only help them by hurting them and by making MC the middle person

But he didn't think she would hurt MC

Not in a way that would kill her way at least

By the request of Mr. Han

Jahee had both lawyers and psychologist at the standby ready

But her main concern was MC

She thought MC was gone, that she left without goodbye and was hurt

But no; she was wrong

MC was the victim

What will become of her, she didn't know

She wondered if anyone felt like she did bc no one seemed to think that Rika and V needed to be held accountable

It was a game of pointing fingers and “If MC dies what then?”

She needed something more awakening and filling than coffee atm

She needed MC to be okay

--- Yoosung ----

He was livid

How could V blame everything on Rika? She would never do this!

After he saw the messages he threw his phone

He went to Zen to be caught up and both went with Jahee to the hospital where Jumin and Seven were waiting for MC

He needed to see Rika though

Neither Jahee nor Zen complied

He asked Jumin to take him to see Rika but Jumin just looked at him with an unreadable expression and if he asked Seven, Seven wouldnt have answered since he’d have been busy on his laptop

He almost gave up but then saw Rika in a separate room with V

He couldn't stand V

V did this; by allowing this to continue he hurt MC and RIka

He would never ever forgive him

---- Zen ----

The surgery was long and tiring

He canceled everything and stayed in the waiting room Jumin had set up for them rich kid problems

He really had a need just to smoke all his stress away but didnt want to knowing that MC wasnt a fan of the smell and he didnt want her to say that when she woke up from the surgery

He had it all planned out

“Forget Rika and the rest, let's go and travel without responsibilities MC”

And he hoped she'd agree and maybe even offer to take them all to visit her home and family and

he was excited that the pet she had was a dog and not a cat bc poor bby cant sneeze and have fun at the same time

But he knew he just needed to ask for trust fund over there for some help and once MC was out of here hed propose the idea to her and the other members

BUt first he’d need to know how they found her and everything because V was vague and it irritated him how they kept secrets

He thought they were all family; is this how a family should be?

He really just needed a smoke

---- Seven ----

It's an endless nightmare for him

Hacking into the system worked up until he couldn't continue to watch her stats drop

He didnt want to imagine what damage would befall onto MC

AFter flatlining a few times, he was sure that the doctors would call her time of death but they kept at it

Until finally MC stabilized

When the doctors told the rest the news he didnt think he could breathe until he saw for himself that MC was okay and not taken away again by an occult-following quack of a doctor

So he kept an eye on her through the video

He read on the reports the doctors and nurses were inputting into the system but all he could think about was who Unknown was

V would know, but he didnt trust himself to go to V to get answers

Not at the moment anyways

They must have been good to have helped MC

And isn’t there some saying that if a dog likes a person, it’s because they are good?

----

You can hear and feel and think

But you can't see

Am i even moving?

You being to wonder where you have come to that you don’t understand anything anyone is saying

You panic because you feel people touch you,

but you can’t see anyone or anything and it scares you because they cant hear you to know to stop

You try to hear out for your mom or dad

You feel hands on your face and you panic because you dont want anyone touching you there; you cant stand anyone touching you anywhere

You feel something cold run up your arm and then you fall back to calmness...

---- Jumin ----

He couldnt look at her let alone hug her

He wanted to know that she would forgive him

BUt at the moment he really wanted to know that she would overcome this and wake up and smile

Just to see her smile would make everything else fall into a prefecture of being able to breath easy

The doctors said that she would have to continue on the medication and get on a clinical trial that can possibly help her we all know Jumin pushed for her to be in one

But Jumin didnt think everything would ever be the same

They wrapped her face becasue of the medication that Rika gave her, that caused some deformities in her eyes

They got to her in time to save her eyes, but she won’t be able to see for a few days until she fully recovered

They said she would be groggy when waking up and even confused, which should go away in time

They gave her a sedative to relax her so she wouldnt further injure herself 

But it made him confused that she didnt understand them at all or know who was talking

Or how she was feeling all over herself, which caused her to think someone else was touching her and which caused her to panic even more

He knew he should go and see Rika and V but he couldn’t atm, not while MC was like this

Jahee left to get coffee and to make sure the lawyers were ready for whatever was to come:

Either RIka and V are held accountable or not, or if MC decides to leave everyone and order a restraining order- whatever she wanted, he was sure to deliver

--- Rika ---

“It was all for the sake of everyone”

she chanted over and over, not knowing that she was mumbling to herself as V and her cousin stood by watching her from the doorway 

Some time had passed, not knowing what day it was, or what happened after the girl... the one with the sin... after that sinful girl was taken it all went blank for Rika 

She tried to remember but she couldn’t push past the hazy clouds of incoherent memories she didn’t trust anymore 

There was one doctor she liked that she saw 

He was a man of his word and talked to her about religion and even let her explain how that sinful girl made her way into hurting everyone 

and how it was only possible becuase she and how it was only possible becuase she let it happen

If it had not been for Rika, no one would have met MC

No one would have been saved! 

No one would have been liberated from the tribulations and trials and suffering that came with life had it not been for Rika allowing MC into the RFA

And the doctor understood that. 

Rika didnt ask for updates on the sinful girl bc she wanted to know that it was all worth it in the end to save everyone 

“She woke up and scared everyone when she didnt understand them” V talked to Rika as she continued to mumble her chant 

“Thankfully Jumin is fluent in English and was able to talk to MC for the few moments she didn’t remember Hangul” 

Rika slightly upset that she failed 

Hearing the angels mock her as she sat there listening to V talk about that sinful girl made her angry 

She didnt want to be mocked by the angels anymore 

--- V ---

He felt guilty in ways that he knew were sick and twisted 

He shouldnt have defended Rika or he should have gone to seek help for her

He let Rika’s condition continue and grow until she no longer was the same Rika he first met at the gallery all those years ago 

He was too scared to meet everyone face to face after all that had happened; he didn’t want to see anyone out of fear and shame 

MC woke up confused and only understandable through English

The only thing that kept V sane was the small conversations Jumin would have with him

granted they were mainly one-sided, he felt warm and almost forgiven when Jumin talked to him 

He didn’t know if he would ever recieve forgiveness from MC

at this point, he wasnt sure he even deserved it 

But to know that MC would turn out fine despite all he had done and let Rika do would give him comfort for the rest of his days 

------

Jumin calmly explained how you were not in America anymore and that you were in South Korea 

He helped you remember things you already knew but you didn't want them to know you knew 

You figured it would make things easier if you let them think you forgot the majority of everything 

From them abandoning you to the drugs and to the now; you wanted them all to think you forgot the major events 

You did, however, let them know that you did not forget Paco poor bby was sad until he saw you 

You found it hard to lie to them for the first day and then went to slowly ‘remembering’ Hangul

It was not hard to pretend to be weary around them bc they did abandon you and thought you left them without having known you better 

You wanted to forgive them for having left you and forgotten about you 

but you couldnt find it in you to forgive them 

Try as they might, you could not go back to before Rika resurfaced

Zen offered a trip to the States to visit your family, and Jumin ofc said he would pay for the trip for everyone 

Jahee provided a lot of amazing coffee for you to indulge in such the coffee whore you ever are

Yoosung would stop by and cry for a few seconds each visit and then leave the room in an uncomfortable manner 

and then there was Seven 

You dont know why but you couldn't find it in you to ever stay mad at him

You did want to ask him about Saeran, bc you weren’t sure if you should expose Unknown’s identity to a hacker who works for bosses that dont seem to be the best runner-ups for ‘Boss-of-the-year-award’ 

Would he get in trouble? What if by exposing his name, I’d get him in trouble? I don’t want Saeran to be involved. He shouldn’t have to hide either. Where did he go? Would Seven keep this a secret if I asked him to? 

--- Unknown ---

He watched MC convey confusion and watched how she reacted towards everyone 

How she was at ease with Saeyoung and Jumin the most out of all the RFA 

How she smiled when the secretary would give her coffee and when the red-eyed boy would smile back at her after he would helplessly flirt 

Or how she would tense up when the young blonde boy walked in sad and left sad, but how she would fondly smile at the boy when he was not apologizing

Saeran felt like he was part to blame for what happened to her 

Maybe one day he will come back and see how things would work out if he could find out more about Saeyoung 

He felt like he was making all the right choices and for all the right reasons, that is until MC and Paco became his mission, making him loose the game and goal he set out to win 

His primary concern was how to come back to face Saeyoung without malicious intent 

until then, he figured he would go to America and see how things were for a few weeks how convenient that it would be during their trip to visiting MC’s home town 

----

You didnt know if Yoosung would ever look at you the same

it bothered you slightly how the one person who you thought would have stayed by your side would leave you a lot more than the rest 

But you knew 

you knew how this must have all been confusing for him to have discovered what mental issues his cousin was dealing with 

You just wished that he didn't blame V for everything 

bc it wasnt V, it was all Rika 

You know you should forgive and forget but you couldnt 

It didnt feel right to lie to Seven and Jumin 

but you got the sense that they knew you knew 

Somehow it a silent agreement between the 3 of you to pretend that you dindt remember most of the past few weeks 

You were scared of leaving teh hospital because you didnt want to be alone anymore 

but you were scared of the hospital from the beginning since most of everything started with the hospital 

Jumin offered you the best lawyers and doctors and space as an apology 

while Seven kept you company and when he thought you slept, you could hear him profusely apologize 

You agreed to Zen’s idea of a vacation only after V admitted Rika into the psychiatric ward 

Yoosung wouldnt talk to you for days or to anyone, but you felt like maybe he needed to take time to re-evaluate his thoughts 

You enjoyed it when Jahee would bring in a good cup of coffee and talk to you like you used to before 

No one mentioned the illness you had or the Rika events 

It made you happy to not think about the stress or heartbreaking moments 

but it made you sad too because it was your life 

and no one was acknowledging it at all 

You did, however, receive only one letter from Unknown who asked you to keep his real name a secret until the next time you would meet 

He reminded you that you could still talk to Paco about the part of your life everyone was okay with omitting 

And you understood why they wanted to omit that bit of your life, but omitting it doesn't completely mask the fact that it happened 

Maybe this will all catch up and resurface some day to where everyone would come to terms with it all 

and maybe then Rika would be back to how everyone said she was but you found it hard to believe and less thrilling to picture

But until then you figured out to slowly let them into your heart instead of you into theirs, things could be different 

Maybe you would learn to forgive them and learn to trust them as they did to you before Rika 

But you figured it would take time 

A person can only hold out so much before they crumble after having pieces of them chipped and filled away to make space for other people to fit with them

Maybe if you had stayed home instead of venturing for adventure, you wouldnt have become terrified of the dark, needles, and strangers so much 

Maybe if you didn’t answer those messages you wouldnt have become so traumitized by a group of people you considered family 

But maybe if Rika didn’t go crazy on you, you wouldn’t have formed such bonds with people 

And you know that there was still a lot of more to discover of each member of the RFA before you could ever think of leaving your family 

For the moment you would settle with: Rika staying far away from you,

everyone hovering including the ever so distant smoll angry Yoosung,

the constant suppression of events you wanted to make everyone feel guilty about but couldnt bc they did that on their own, 

and the knowledge that this dysfunctional group of misfits would be your final, unforeseen, and third love.