#she got to me so fkn bad today

[bunnihearted]

.

[ego-meliorem-esse]

I present to you my years long obsession - female America.

This is not a Nyotalia version it's just a concept of "what if everything is the same but Alfred was born a girl". Like i see so much potential! In a world where all the odds are stacked against her, she despite it all gets to where she is today. Making good and bad decisions along the way.

A lil hc/backstory for my main girl:

• Given name (by dad Arthur) is Elizabeth Felicity Kirkland but during the revolution changes her last name to Jones. Her first name change happens in the 1820/1830s when she changes it to Alexandra, also dropping her second name. (I was young when I came across the name and it means "defender/protector of man" and I was /obessed/ so i just stick to it since she is a loser and just thinks it's a cool sounding name)

• She goes by Alex/Al and I think that's neat :)

• My girl is tall. Like 181 cm tall. Sender but with visible muscles. She does want a bigger behind but her Anglo-Saxon genetics say nah.

• As a child she spent more time in England due to her being a girl so I think even if Arthur was absent he didn't allow her to spend much time alone in the colonies. She resents that ofc

• Just like with Alfred, Alex is very fkn close to Matt even if she forgets to call him or check up on him for months at a time. Al: "Hey man I know I just called a while ago but how've you been? Matt: "you called me 5 months ago..."

• Works at NASA as a part time aeronaitical engeneer. Loves physics, hates chemistry (self projection im sorry)

• During the revolution she dressed up as a boy but the people she worked with knew she wasn't one. People went along with it anyway.

• Other than during the American revolution, she dressed in feminine presenting clothes up until the 1930s. After that it was trousers all the way!

• Alex was never a nurse during wartime but definitely did accountaint work in ww1 and later joined the Women’s Auxiliary Air Force (WAAF) where she stayed until 1943 when she joined her men fighting on the ground ( Conversion to Army status, Women's Army Corps - WAC). That's when she saw actual combat.

• Isn't fond of birds. Canaries are fine. Eagles are unsettling.

• Obsesses over a certan thing/hobby at a time up to a point where she perfects her skill. When she was about 14 (human years) it was the whole freedom and equality of man and all the politics regarding it. In the 1890s her obession was cars and motor vehicles. The 1910s brought a new obsession on womens rights. 1960s was space exploration where she devoted almost all her time researching and working for NASA, disregarding her goverment/state duties as a country. In the 1980s it was the internet. In 1990s she got really interested in the Balkan wars (self insert >:)) for whatever reason. Today her attention is mostly on social media and her attention span ia short af. Still really likes all things tech.

• Hasn't got many properties/real estate. Al does own a penthouse in Seaport, Boston and a late 17th and early 18th century colonial home in Newbury, Boston (that she needs to renovate asap). The only other real state she owns is in California, though modern and recently buit, it's not big nor does she spend much time there.

• Her personality is basicaly Alfred if he grew up as a woman and had to face opression based on sex and inequality that came with it. So still bubbly, extroverted, a social butterfly but also self-serving, idealistic, manipulative sprinkled in with sarcasm, cautiousness and craftiness. Same feckin sense of humour tho.

• In 1783, at the Treaty of Paris in Versailles both her and her father had to sign the document that started her independence (She herself had a human representitive 'cus of her age/sex bla bla but it was mostly formalities). At that signing Arthur gave her a flintlock pistol that he himself used in the 1640s. Not many words were exchanged, he just put it in her hand to keep. She still has it in her attic. Somewhere. She'd find it if she just takes the time to look for it I'm sure.

• In 1889 she straight up did her first war crime/murder of a fellow nation (if you don't count shooting her pops face off at Saratoga in 1777). After an altrication with Antonio that resulted in him insulting and slapping the girl for her audacity and mouthiness, she punched him straight in the jaw. A fight insued where she got ahold of his belt and straight up strangled him. Took her a while to process that and accept it. On the bright side Antonios scilence was heard around the world and while perplexed and insulted, older and influential (mostly male at that point) nations started to feel a glint of respect forming for the young startup.

• Al was given a family pocket watch by her father in the 90s (No more empire for Arthur so he sad :(((((( ) that was suppoaed to go to a firstborn son of a lord as an inheritance symbol. Everyone thought Jack would get it since Matt is techincally not Arthur's son. But even he would be expected to recieve it before Al. Then in an unexpected turn of events, while visiting her grumpy and nostalgeous empire-missing dad, Arthur pulled out the watch while eating stale kebabs in front of the telly and gave it to her casualy without as much as a word (The empire started with her, it shall end with her). She keeps it in her work desk drawer in a wooden box.

• Al and Zee have an interesting relationship. While being different in almost every aspect, there ia a mutual respect for eachother from eachother. While not really being able to see eye to eye, they are sisters in a certain roundabout and very fucked up way. Girls who learned that they are very much judged by their sex despite being daughters of a high ranking British lord. While aware that she will never be Alex/Elizabeth in her fathers eyes, Zee still gets treated as a treasure by her father. Much to Zee's annoyance.

• It's still Matt who's in Alex's shadow. Despite the dificulties she rises above and is the perfect child of an empire. Smart, intelligent, inquisitive, a fast learner and incredibly aware of the political and historical situation at all times. Even despite being a girl and less than a son in the eyes of a 17th/18th century society, she suceeds.

• Arthur wanted a son to come from his colonial endeavours, as all empires/nobility at the time did. And as all other empires at the time had. But ofc karma is a bitch and he's the only empire with an only child being a daughter. Though at first thougrly dissaponted, when he lays his eyes on his daughter for the first time, the only emotion he can feel is /joy/.

• Instead of sowing/knitting Al's education was very much focused on natural sciences, since that is where Arthur quickly realized she exels at. He swapped her Violin and General History of Music lessions with Astrophysics and The History of Astronomy. All in an attempt to stop her from making his ears bleed from the constant prattling about The Four Square Theorem or The Brachistocrone Curve. It only got worse, but his daughter was happy and content.

I have sooooo many more of these jfc i might do more later but for now this is all I can think of.

TLDR: Female America is great and has so much potential as a character hghhhhhhhh

[forever-rogue]

i’m literally so in love with nurse stevie !! he and his clumsy girl are so sweet 🤍

i was thinking, what if she was having a pregnancy check up and it happened to be at a time where steve was on shift so he like races down to where she is and does the ultrasound himself and gets to see the baby and she asks why he ran down here or something and he accidentally says “i missed my girls” and she’s like “wait it’s a girl?”

idk just him doing the ultrasound himself and accidentally telling her it’s a girl is just asjsueked ahhh so fkn cute

AN | Okay but stop! This is the cutest and with how much of a loveable disaster these two are, I could totally see this happening 🥺 This can be read as a companion piece to the below but also as a stand alone!

Warnings | Mild Language, Pregnant!Reader

Pairing | Nurse!Steve x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.6k

Masterlist | Steve, Main, Nurse Steve

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Despite your best efforts, a small sigh escaped your lips as you looked at your watch. Steve should have been off by now - he realistically should have been off about an hour ago, but you were used to that by now. There was a still small part of you that had hoped he would be here for the ultrasound. You knew you could just take home the photos, but it wouldn’t be the same. There was always next time, but today you were halfway through your pregnancy and it felt like a milestone. 

When you heard your name being called by the ultrasound tech, you stood up and made your way over. You suddenly felt very pregnant with how long it took you to properly stand up and make your way over to her. At least you weren’t waddling just yet.

“Hello there,” Mary was sweet with a kind face and gentle smile. She’d been the one to help you out since the beginning and had always made you feel better, especially when you had a million and one questions, “no Steve today?”

“He was going to try and make it,” you explained and she made a small sound of understanding, “but it appears he got stuck past his shift.”

“The ER has been pretty busy today,” at least that confirmed your thought that he got stuck working late, “and you know how he is. Always going above and beyond for everyone and everything.”

“Trust me,” you grinned as you set your stuff down and moved to lie on the table which had become a friend the past few months, “I’m well aware. He’s being even more cautious than normal these days. I can barely lift a finger before he’s offering to do it or helping.”

“Well…” she was grinning in spite of yourself as you sighed dramatically, already knowing where this was heading, “remind me how the two of you met again? Something about a broken ankle?”

“Very funny,” you snorted in amusement, “I’ll have you know that nothing bad has happened in months! I’ve been very careful.”

“Mhmm,” she shot you a wink as you laid back and slowly began to undo the button of your jeans. Before she could say anything else, a frantic knocking came at the door, causing you both to pause, “do you want me to check who it is or let them know we’re busy?”

“You can check,” you shrugged, “don’t want to keep you from something potentially more important.”

She gave you a small smile before slowly opening the door. Mary almost laughed out loud when she found Steve on the other side, a panicked expression on his face as he tried to catch his breath, “hey! Hi, sorry I’m late - is she still here? Please don’t tell me I missed it!”

“We were just getting started,” she stepped aside to let him in, and as soon as he spotted you, he gave you a huge grin and visibly relaxed, “better check with your wife to make sure she wants you to stay.”

“He’s alright, I guess,” you teased, but Steve wasted no time before gently talking your face in his hands and leaning down to kiss you. You almost melted into his tender touch and the feel of his soft lips on yours. When he pulled back he was practically beaming, “on second thought, he can absolutely stay.”

“As if you’d ever say no to him,” you looked at your husband and shrugged, giving both of them a sheepish grin. She was right - you couldn’t fathom any situation in which you’d turn him down for anything, “ready to get started and see your baby?”

“Definitely!”

“Actually, Mary, I have a request,” you raised your eyebrows, trying to fathom what it could possibly be. He turned towards her so you were looking at his back and spoke softly under his breath, “I know we don’t usually do this, but do you think I can do the ultrasound today? I’m trained on how to do them and thought it might be cool, you know? But I understand if you say no…”

“You’re something else, Harrington,” there was nothing but playful affection lacing her words as she shook her head in amusement. He gave her the best puppy dog eyes he could muster up, which all things considered were pretty good, “alright, I’ll let you have at it. But this stays between us and if anyone ever asks, I was here doing it and you were just watching. Yes?”

“Yes,” he cheered softly, “you’re the best, Mary.” 

“Don’t forget that the next time I need a favor,” she shot him a wink before turning back to you. You hadn’t heard their hushed conversation and looked at them in confusion, “well, I gotta get going but I’ll be back in a bit. Good luck!”

“You’re going…what? I don’t-” but she was gone and out the door before you could say anything else. You looked at Steve and raised your hands in confusion, “wait a minute, what are you two up to?”

“Nothing at all,” he smiled innocently before reaching to grab something off the cart, “but I’ll be conducting your ultrasound today, Mrs. Harrington. Now, whenever you’re ready.”

“Oh Steve,” you laughed at  him, rolling your eyes playfully, “well then, I’m ready whenever you are, my love.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It was a strange feeling to be lying on the hard examination bed, with your belly out (which seemed to have grown overnight out of nowhere) and covered in the cold jelly. You’d already learned that it was definitely not your favorite thing in the world. But the moment was perfect with Steve right next to you. As ever, he was calm and patient, treating you with such gentle reverence that made you weak in the knees. Good thing you were lying down or your clumsy self might have actually fallen. 

“Let us see what we have here,” Steve brought out the wand and settled it on your stomach, causing a shiver to run down your spine. At first there was nothing for a few moments, which caused your worry and anxiety to spike, despite the fact that you knew the baby was one - definitely in there and two - had been moving around in the day. You waited with bated breath until you heard the sound of the small heartbeat over the monitor, “just as I suspected, we have - a baby!”

He turned to you with an amused little grin and you couldn’t help but laugh at him, “really? I thought we were getting a puppy! Is it too late to exchange it?”

“Ahh, sorry honey,” he shook his head before kissing your cheek, “I think it’s too late. We’re going to be stuck with a small human.”

“I guess I can live with that,” your eyes were glued to the monitor where you could see the blob that was your baby. They were moving around and you couldn’t help the tears that sprung up along with the wave of emotion that washed over you. It all seemed so surreal; you were having a baby. A baby with your wonderful husband. What a crazy world it was, “look at that blob. That’s our blob!”

“Oh honey,” he turned to look at you, a soft smile on his pretty features as he tenderly wiped away the tears that had pearled up and rolled down your cheeks, “it’s okay. Baby’s looking great!”

“I know,” you leaned into his touch, letting his large, warm palm engulf your cheek as you offered him a teary smile, “it’s just all so overwhelming, and I’m already all emotional, you know this by now. I just…I’m really happy, Steve.”

“Me too, sweetheart,” he kissed you, not minding the salty of your tears, and you sighed wistfully against his lips, “I love you, so much.”

“I love you too, Steve,” you teasingly poked at your belly, “and you too baby blob.”

“They’re going to come out of the womb thinking their name is Blob!”

“Tell them to stop looking like a blob then,” yeah, it might have been a blob, but you were already so enamored with it, “does everything look okay? Honestly?”

“I would never lie to you,” he wrote down a few things in your chart as you tried to peek over his shoulder as if you would understand any of it, “you know that. Yes, everything looks good. Strong, steady heartbeat, measuring around the perfect size. It all checks out - that is a healthy baby, and mother.”

"Good," you let out a nervous sigh of relief, "I can't wait to meet you little blob."

"Halfway there."

"Halfway there," you repeated, suddenly feeling like that was coming on way faster than you wanted, "slow down there little one!"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Steve knew you almost better than you knew yourself. You were already tucked up in bed, half-heartedly watching some movie on TV, but mostly trying not to fall asleep by the time he came into the bedroom.  He had a glass of chocolate milk and a plate with some cookies in his hands. Your face lit up with excitement - you'd just been thinking about a sweet treat.

"Is this alright?" He asked, setting everything down on the bedside table before pressing a kiss to the side of your temple, "I had a feeling you'd been wanting something sweet right about now."

"You are my hero," you looked at him with big, wide doe eyes, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. He tasted sweet; you just knew he'd already snuck a few cookies, "thank you, my love."

"No need to thank me," he pulled up the big fluffy comforter and crawled under it. He made himself comfortable before pulling you into his side. You rested your head on his chest and sighed wistfully, "how are you feeling?"

"Good," you promised, taking his hand in yours and lacing your fingers together, "today was good. I'm just tired, but that seems to be the new normal. But it's worth it - it was amazing getting to see the blob today. Thank you for coming, Steve. You didn't have to rush and leave work though, I know how hard you always work …there'll be plenty of other appointments."

"Are you kidding?" He scoffed playfully, "I wasn't going to miss it. I was already missing my girls too much."

"I - wait," you sat up and moved across from him so you were looking directly at him, "your what? Your girls?"

"Oh honey," a guilty, sheepish look crossed his features, "I-I didn't mean to…say that."

"We're having a girl?" and cue the waterworks. You most definitely couldn't help it at this point, emotions like a live wire as the tears rolled down your cheeks, "Steve?"

"Yeah," his smile was breathtaking as he nodded softly, "we're having a girl."

"Oh Steve!" you threw your arms around his neck and held onto him tightly, burying your face in the crook of his neck. He was surprised by your sudden excitement but melted into your touch as he pulled you onto his lap, "we're having a girl!"

"I'm sorry," his cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink, "I know we said we weren't going to find out, and then I realized today at the ultrasound. I didn't think that one through. But I also didn't plan on telling you…it sort of slipped out. Sorry, honey."

"I know that's what we said," you pressed a big, excited kiss to his cheek, "but I've been dying to know too. I'm not upset, Stevie. I'm just…so happy."

"Yeah?" There was a dopey, lovesick smile on his face as you nodded fervently, "me too, sweetheart."

"It just makes it feel more real," you looked down at your bump, running your hand over it. Holy fuck. There was a baby girl growing there. A small gasp escaped your lips as you felt a flutter of movement, "oh!"

You grabbed Steve's hand and placed it on the spot you had felt the movement and watched his face light up as he felt her move. You placed your hand on his and gave it a gentle squeeze. You could see his pretty brown eyes glittering with unshed tears as, "Hey, baby girl. We're going to meet you really soon. Your mama and I love you so much already."

She moved around some more, clearly wanting to make herself known, and that left the two of you both emotional fools, "she likes you, likes your voice. She's totally gonna have you wrapped around her finger."

"Well, her mother already does so it's only natural," he touched your face, brushing his thumb gently over your cheek, as he studied you, “you know, some days none of this feels real. Like…how did I get my dream girl and get all of this, huh? Seems more like a lucid dream.”

“Dream girl?” you rolled your eyes affectionately before lightly pushing his cheek, “you’re so dramatic. I highly doubt your dream girl ever was the fool that trips over her own feet, manages to dislocate her elbow…among other things. It was a happy circumstance that we met!”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” he insisted, pressing his forehead against yours and letting his lips brush over yours, “you are my dream girl, and you were worth waiting for. You might be my clumsy girl, but you’re also my dream. I mean it - you are everything to me.”

“You’re not playing fair,” your voice cracked as you wrapped him up in your arms, clinging onto him like a koala. You were lightly crying again, unable to control the hundred of emotions that were coursing through your veins right now, “you’re taking advantage of my fragile state.”

“Oh honey, honey,” you could feel the rumble of his chuckle in his chest, but you refused to loosen your grip on him, “it’s okay, just let it all out. I’ve got you - I love you so much.”

“I love you,” you were pretty sure that there was no better spot than right there in his arms, “you're the best thing that’s happened to me. I’m so glad I broke my ankle and got to meet you.”

“Baby,” he sighed softly, rubbing soothing circles on your back, “that’s…we would have met some other way, I swear it. But I guess…I’m glad you did too.”

“And now you’re my husband,” you pulled back and gently took his handsome face in your hands as he nodded softly, “and we’re having a baby.”

“Yeah,” he agreed softly, turning his face so he could press a kiss to your palm, “we’re married and having a baby.”

“Steve?” he never loved his name more than when you said, always so sweet and soft. He made a small sound, encouraging you to go on, “you’re my dream too.”

And he practically melted in your arms as he leaned in to kiss you, “glad we’re on the same page, sweetheart. But now, the important question is  - are you ready for cookies and a back rub?”

“Oh yes,” you practically groaned at the thought, “best husband ever.”

“I try,” he reached over and grabbed a cookie, taking a bite before offering you half, “I love you so much, my girls.”

“We love you too, Steve.”

[bomberqueen17]

what is up froods

lol i keep forgetting to like. actually write updates in my personal journal. i'm using this tumblr too much like a tumblr.

i went down a rabbit hole the other night in that i just opened my own archives and went back to 2013 and then realized i started this in 2011. i didn't say a lot, back then i definitely was still using my LJ for Big Personal Updates and Tumblr was exclusively for snappy shitposts, and then I abandoned the LJ and only blogged in snappy shitposts for a while, and I did some vagueblogging that I genuinely have no idea what it was about, and that's fun.

But there's some. Boy there's some real fossils in there. God everything stays the same but everything happens so much.

I know I've backed up this blog but IDK how much you can make it make sense, offline. Anyway. That's how it goes. I'm not in any kind of existential panic about the site I'm just reacting to the zeigeist here, it made me think of old times.

I go back to the farm in a couple of weeks-- just for a couple of weeks, but the Season is Starting. My physical therapist keeps giving me more exercises. She's right, my core strength is wretched, but when I said I'd tried to do crunches now and then, tried to stay a tiny bit fit but-- she was like omg no you can't do crunches, with that hip cartilage as it is, so I felt a little better. So she's teaching me what I *can* do, and the important thing is that she's like you cannot do this more than every other day or three times a week, you cannot rush this kind of thing, and it's wonderful advice contrary to all the other advice I've ever had in my life which was like every moment you're not doing more work you're being a lazy shit. So, that's nice. I'll cut because nothing else here is going to be interesting.

I'm not the youngest person at physical therapy but there's a lot of old people there. I haven't been masking, I've been being lazy and just using xylitol nose spray before I go, and it's been fine, but I know that's just luck. (I see no one but Dude, who sees almost no one but me, so the consequences of fucking up would be minor.) with a trip to the farm coming up, I'm going to go back to masking, at least in the lead-up to the trip-- because last time I had COVID I had almost no symptoms, and nowadays apparently the rapid tests aren't super useful. The way I'm coping is, I know, a logical fallacy-- since COVID wasn't bad the one time I had it, I'm just telling myself I'm resistant naturally and it won't hurt me, and I know this is not the truth at all but it helps me cope-- but I cannot stand the thought of spreading it to someone who would be more hurt by it, so I have convinced myself not to fear catching it but to fear spreading it. I figure it's effectively the same and lets me not just be fucking terrified all the time.

I also discovered that a former employee of the farm who's out here going to college is interested in carpooling, and we've already got a tentative date for him to ride back with me on my way back from the farm at the end of March, and this has lightened my spirits a great deal. It's such a long drive and it feels like such a waste of gas, and he does have a car but it's not actually that safe to drive on the Thruway. (He swears up and down it's perfectly safe but just not at sustained speeds over 60. I was like omg kid do NOT, I will drive, my car is brand fkn new. He's taking the train home and will ride back with me.)

Let's see. Oh I don't think I've kept up with posting about the kitchen painting. It's down to the last tiny fiddly details, and what I've got to do is do a half-stencil in the corner above the door, and I did one half yesterday and will finish the rest today. I had to custom cut out a copy of part of the stencil to make it work, and it's sort of janky and I am going to have to hand-paint it with a lot of masking tape, but it's such a small area that like, why not, I can be that fussy. It's fine.

Once I finish that, which if I do part in the morning and part in the afternoon I can do today, then I can FINALLY CLEAN UP AND PUT AWAY all the painting detritus. I can't tell you how excited I am to do that.

I've also been doing fabric dyeing, finally. I collected several of the muslin garments I'd finished and meant to do something with, and got out my dyes. I did a batch of ice dye solely because I forgot which ones I'd intended to use for that; now I have a pair of slightly ill-fitting homemade leggings that look like a clown threw up on them, and a cheerful sweatshirt to match. i then used the runoff to dye the cream-colored canvas work smock-- I sort of tie-dyed it because I pasted up a little bit of two of the component colors and poured that on a couple areas that I then rubberbanded, because I wanted tie-dye but did not want any white areas left. So it's a blue/purple/red smock now, and the rainbow stitching I constructed it with was polyester so it's still rainbow, huzzah. Subtle and understated and also I can smear it with filth and maybe it will still look intentional.

[image description: a canvas work smock with big pockets, hanging to dry, mostly a mucky dark purple but with some brighter splotches of red and dark blue, and some bits of paler purple.]

[image description: assorted garments draped over drying racks in a sunporch, in blotchy shades of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, all kind of run together but not murky.]

And then I did another batch of ice dye, this time with the dyes I had bought that are supposed to work well for this because they split. That dress is still in the wash so I don't have pictures of how it turned out, but mostly it just looks splotchy green. LOL oh well. The point was, I made all these test garments in undyed fabric, but I don't have a lifestyle where I can wear a white dress, so now I have some non-white dresses I don't have to be precious about. Some of them I should now probably hem and like actually finish..........

I have one dress and one shirt left, and a pair of light-wash jeans I don't like wearing, and I'm thinking about trying like. Ombre or something. We'll see if I get around to that.

My sewing area is still a fuckin disaster and I don't want to think about it. But I'm cutting out a vest from scrap denim, I want a quilted abrasion-resistant washable work vest for farm work next week and I gotta get a move on. All I need now is to cut out the batting and get to it. So hopefully today.

I took photos, I might try writing up how-tos on the dyeing and on the repurposed denim stuff, but I also might not. If I was doing this again I would probably not bother with the ice, for the rainbow one. We'll see once the properly ice dyed dress comes out of this wash, I can hear the washer spinning but I'm trapped under Chita at the moment.

I missed this week's fic update because I'm progressing so slowly on both current active WIPs. I have a bunch written ahead in both, but each one has the back half of the current chapter just held up waiting for me to write them; I've overcome the structural decisions that delayed me, but I have to just sit and write them. And both of them are complicated scenes I've been waiting to write a long time, so I'm looking forward to writing them, and so like, paradoxically, can't make myself do it. Because once I've done it I'll have done it, see... anyway. Silly but there it is. I'll get through it once I decide I deserve that treat. I know! I know.

[oonajaeadira]

For the Love of Fic: January 2

I've been doing my best to get caught up on a verrrrrrry long reading list. I know I sound like a broken record, but I'm a super slow reader (both in having the time to read and actual reading speed), and many of my favorite writers are bananas prolific, so it's easy for me to fall behind. My lists for the immediate future will probably be in character groupings, since that helps me organize and sift.

Today you're getting these lovelies in some fic I've been loving!

.

EZRA

Cross My Heart by @brandyllyn This wins for my favorite of the week. How can it not, when it is from my Secret Santa???? Brandy softens our scoundrel but keeps his dangerous edge which I really love and appreciate. This could have been your regular Gift of the Magi fic, but it goes above and beyond. Not only do these lovers do what they can to give each other the world, they get to keep their spoils too. My heart would follow his anywhere. <3

untitled by @brandyllyn So after reading Cross My Heart, I decided to catch up on the remaining Ezra fic of Brandy's I haven't read yet and I was not disappointed, not at all. If Ezra came to me for advice on how to touch a lady, I don't think I'd be able to hold myself together this well...

When They Disentwine by @brandyllyn Holy BALLS this is hot like fire. A little misunderstanding leads to some really delicious punishment--read the warnings. Do I like a little danger in my Ez? Fk yeah I do. Soft and dangerous. This serves.

Hold Fast to Dreams by @brandyllyn Here it is, friends. One of the most beautifully written, soft, wonderful Ezra stories full of books and hope and healing and it's rendered me nearly speechless. I don't know what else to say except DANG.

.

MAX PHILLIPS

Bangathon: Position: Reverse Cowgirl by @prolix-yuy Oh. My gods. I did not expect the soft. And yet. Here it is. And I am clawing for it. The moment he realizes he's actually into her kind of destroyed me. And I love that they're both in the same place...fkn hells. I swoon. This's the good stuff.

Negotiations by @prolix-yuy Another treat from LJ with a softer, yearning Max. Yes, he's got more ego than he should have, but it gets a swift, satisfying kick in the ass when he comes up against you. And do you ever give him a run for his money. A lovely little twist and sweet surprise.

A Rough (Pumpkin) Patch by @blueeyesatnight Can we all acknowledge how satisfying it is to witness Max get pouty when he doesn't get his way? And then twist things around to make his own fun? He may hate hay rides and pumpkin picking, but if you're the only two in the field, there may be more fun to be had....

I Wanna Do Bad Things With You by @chronically-ghosted I too would be tempted to tell Max to feed from me while we did the do. But you know what I am? A soft girl with a weakness for a build up. So imagine my joy when I found out this was a series in progress...one bite/drink/base at a time! And there are feelings? What! This is all my monsterfkr dreams with Max come true.

Polynesian Kiss by @morallyinept Listen. He's Max. He's your boss, and he's a vampire, and you're his PA. And blood donor. And bang buddy. And you just can't make it into work because your cramps are murder. Lucky you, you've just become a dispenser for Max's favorite treat, and he is here to FEAST. I love a man who loves his meal, and goodness does he ever enjoy you. TASTY.

Blood & Tinsel by @morallyinept Read the warnings on this one, because Max has his influence on and you're not submitting to his office booty call of your own free will. But you would if he'd let you. He doesn't know that. Yet. I love how Jett writes his reaction to that little tidbit....she's got this power-hungry jackass down.

.

EDDIE THE VAMPIRE

An Act of Kindness pt. 2 by @missredherring Oh my gosh, Eddie's become a rescue pup! He has nowhere to go and nobody to look after him and he was so young when he turned...he's so confused. I just wanna comfort the boy. It's a good thing Bella's here to look after the little darling. (Guest appearance by one Jack Daniels with mentions of Max Phillips and a Liam easter egg.)

.

WING PIT GUY

2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #3: Daniel (Wing Pit) - Distracting Kiss by @something-tofightfor Rachael's Wing Pit Guy is named Daniel and there's just something about him that's comfortable and goofy and total boyfriend material. (And he can clean a chicken wing bone in one smooth go.) You know that kissing him is gonna taste like sauce, and since he really loves his wings, you know that sauce is gonna be good. And real. And sweet. Just like this fic.

2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #11: Daniel Harper (Wing Pit) - A Kiss After Pain by @something-tofightfor It's finally time for a real first date, but before that, time to meet Daniel's dog. Raider is just a dog, doing dog things and doesn't mean to slip up. But istg if anyone here hurts Raider I will burn this site to the ground. There's a really sweet kiss in here and I am all for it. But I am having trouble deciding if I love Raider or Daniel more right now...

Smutsgiving 2023: Sweet Potato Casserole / Daniel Harper (Wing Pit Pedro) by @something-tofightfor First of all, marshmallow fluff is genius. Second of all, I don't care how sticky it is. I hate sticky and I would still allow supreme level boyfriend coded Daniel to cover me in it.

.

TIM ROCKFORD

Rockford & Roan Pt. 5 by @littlemisspascal There's a number of reasons why I'm freaking out about this chapter. It's dark. There's a body. Tim is mystereously cold and Roan is being warned not to be taken advantage by his less than perfect tendancies. Doubt is strewn. Our Very Good Boy Banjo is a little doggie king. And then there's the special guest star, complete with cliffhanger...and I'm in LOVE.

Morning, His Place by @words-are-fireproof A slice of life, an early morning in the kitchen with Tim before he has to leave for work. And yet, in just a short piece, there's so much detail and background given between the characters, just in the little things they say and do, the pictures on the wall, the things Tim forgets. Simple and lovely.

2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #5: Tim Rockford - Jealous Kiss by @something-tofightfor Black Days Tim has a hold on me, and Rachael's given him a lot of groundedness and depth. He's not surprised by much, except when he surprises himself.

Smutsgiving 2023: Apple Pie / Tim Rockford by @something-tofightfor Another Black Days Tim, and this one has him apologizing to his lady for not being home for Thanksgiving by utilizing his desk when she comes to visit him. Yes plz.

.

DIETER BRAVO

Star Boy by @ezrasbirdie I'm in love with the Star Boy and his Cool Girl so so much and this installment in the Starstruck Series was no exception. They have so much to navigate together and it can't be the easiest thing to date a movie star. But I'm willing to take the chance if he love love loved me this very much.

Misfire by @qveerthe0ry If it's something I'm fascinated and enamored of, it's a boy that comes untouched. Dunno why that's a kink of mine, maybe I just find it endearing when someone loses control. This one has no romantic or sexual connection to it though, and it's Dieter actually being embarrassed. I am not above smiling while watching that man be flustered and suffer a little.

Bravo, Dieter. by @juletheghoul If you haven't had a taste of Jules' writing (first of all, where have you been), then this is as good a place as any to start. Pretty writing, smooth Dieter, make up sex ahoy, and all the neck nibbles you can't keep your cool over....

Paint Me Like One of Your French Girls by @missredherring While there's some verbal teasing, this is a working relationship, but a good one. I mean, I don't know if I'm in the right crotchspace to let Dieter paint my naked body and be cool about it, but if I was, I would hope it would be as endearing as this.

Dress Me Up and Call Me Pretty by @morallyinept This is one of the hottest things I have ever read. Dieter is an absolute mess, his own worst enemy, and reader is an angel who gives him everything he needs--and discovers she likes it too. The LOVE. The kink. The marathon. The care. Just go. Go now and get your strap on.

Run Over By A Reindeer... by @blueeyesatnight Blue has such a good grip on Dieter and I love his perfect balance of shithead horny actor and genuinely nice horny guy. I laughed out loud at this multiple times too, because Blue's also good at Dieter's dipshit humor. This is definitely one of my favorites this season.

Smutsgiving 2023: Stuffing / Dieter Bravo by @something-tofightfor This is Dieter from Rachael's Locked Down series and I have a real soft spot for these two...and for this particular take on Dieter. He's someone who surprises you constantly, showing a disaster to the world while being actually put together underneath. Stuffing shows up in more ways than one here. As does mention of a raccoon....

2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #10: Dieter Bravo - A Kiss While Baking by @something-tofightfor This one is sweet in every sense of the word. Brownies, kisses, heartfelt feelings, a peek at a possible future... I love Locked Down Dieter so much and it's nice to see him domestic and happy.

Touch Me Touch Me Touch Me by @missredherring It's subby D time! This time with a free use kink and some audio erotica built in! At first I was a little sorry for our needy boy, but man, does he get it in the end....and how.

.

[laughingfcx]

OKAY ITS DUE TIME FOR ME TO SEND U A YAP ASK ‼️‼️😋 LINA SUGARPLUM MUFFIN LOLLIPOP HONEYPIE (by jawny???) HOW ARE YOU DARLING HOW WAS YOUR DAY GIVE ME THE RUNDOWN ‼️

so like im gonna yap about my week CAUSE IT FELT LONG AS HELL I PHYSICALLY TWEAKED OUT JUST REFLECTING BACK ON ALL OF IT‼️‼️

so as u know i was ill last week (was that even last week I CANT REMEMBER BUT IT WAS RECENTLY) and i was coughing up a storm at school on monday and tuesday IT WAS HELL ITSELF I SWEAR.

SO I HAD LIKE,, 7 TESTS? THIS WEEK? I THINK? a ton!! like wdym im getting a test thats not writing in journalism class? WHY ARE WE HAVING A HISTORY TEST IN THIS CLASS THATS SO WEIRD TO ME??? anyway... that and a spanish test and two math tests and two tests in my ap class and an english comprehension test i was not thriving this week

AND BY THE WAY, THE TESTS IN MY AP CLASS WERE LITERALLY RETAKES BECAUSE I WAS GONE REVIEW DAY CAUSE I WAS SICK AND HAD TO TAKE THE TESTS WITHOUT STUDYING AT ALL. THE TEACHER WAS LATE TO CLASS THAT DAY SO IT TOOK ME LIKE THREE ADVISORY PERIODS TO FINISH THE STUPID TESTS 💔💔

erm anyways all of that happened AND IM NOW THRIVING I FINISHED ALL MAJOR WORK AND MY GRADES ARE LOOKING UP SO YIPPEE!!! 

yesterday i went to the school football game with my friends!! our team kinda demolished the visiting team dude 😭😭 IT WAS LIKE?? 68-0???? LIKE DAMN OKAY LET THEM GET UP BROTHERS 😭

ALSO AT THE GAME THERE WAS A KISS CAM AND MY FRIENDS ENDED UP ON IT WE WERE ALL SCREAMING SOOOO MUCH 😨 IT WAS WILD LINA!!! BUT THE GAME WAS A TON OF FUN AND WE ALL HAD FUN SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF OUR LUNGS AND DOING RANDOM STUFF IN THE STANDS!!

SO THERES MY YAP! TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY AND WHATS BEEN GOING ON W U POOKIE 😋 HRU HOWS LIFE WHAT ARE WE DOING TOMORROW

HONEYPIE BY JAWNY !!!!! erm big yap under cut methinks..

HELLO HELLO MY DEAR SWEET LITTLE BIRTHDAY CAKE CARDBOARD BOX CARAMELIZED SUGAR STICK !!! iM DOING LIKE.. OKAY I THINK. SUPER TIRED OMW HOME FROM SCHOOL i slept 1.5hrs last night..

my freaky english teacher likes me. a h a h a anyways ive been getting into art moar >:3 again so i spent like half the time drawing and stuff help .. not when i needed to concentrate tho !!! i drew a fish person ish i will show u later. apparently everyone flunked the maths test so like i may end up on the news tho... my last three assessments were all straight A's but the highest grade in the entire class in this one is a B and idk man i might Die. also i think i did well in english bc.. the teacher seems satisfied w me.. SCHOOL IS CLOSED TMR SO I WILL LOCK IN AND WRITE MY SILLY SMAU METHINKS

my friend who i sat beside today let me draw my fish on her bandaid :33 she calls me fish too and i call her cat it's a long story basically but in eighth grade like.. back in 2022 we exchanged discords and my nickname was fishie and hers was neko so like .. fish and cat. oh and once a physics teacher referred to me as fish too help

im super eepy rn help.. started raining in the morning n i got hopeful that school would be cancelled but NO bc the universe HATES me

im going to change & pass out now i think highkey.

OK NOW !!! UR THINGS LETS SEE omg yes this week was so fkn long ewwww

IM SO SORRY AB UR STUPID TESTS <//)3 I HAD THREE ON SUNDAY ALONE LAST WEEK IT WAS SO BAD I FAKED BEING SICK ON TUESDAY (?) KIND OF.. LIKE I FELT BAD BUT NOT BAD ENOUGH TO NOT GO TO SCHOOL

IM GLAD UR GRADES ARE LOOKING UP !!! IF U LISTEN CLOSELY IM ACTUALLY CHEERING SO LOUD FOR U RN 😹

football game is insane (never seen one) 68 - ZERO ??? IS THE HOME TEAM THAT GOOD OR IS THE OTHER ONE JUST BAD PLS... ALSO LIKE WHAT !!!! kiss cam sounds like sm fun !!!!

okay pause to say that this ask is literally makign me so happy rn idk bro but im kicking feet i feel all warm n fluttery inside

OK BACK ON TOPIC im so glad u had fun <333 that experience seems so amazing like omg !!! ik youll remember it for a WHILE i long to experience that kind of fun again omg

OKAY ANYWAYS MY DAY RIGHT !!! i cancelled on my maths teacher + postponed his class to tmr bc i want to sleep and grind genshin and watch a movie or 2 !!! im thinking everything everywhere all at once ive wanted to watch it forever but never really had the independence to do so like i do now !!!! my big toe hurts for some reason idk :/// AND IVE BEEN HAVING SUCH BAD NAGI BRAINROT RECENTLY OMHHHH LIKE MY MAN.. MY MAN..... SAVE ME NAGI SEISHIRO SAVE ME..........

aaaaa where was i !!! oh yesyes so i was thinking moot tags right ... bc i need smth cute for u.... bc ur so cute....

UM YES THATS ALL FOR TODAY I HOPE UR SLEEPING WELL & DM ME WHEN U SEE THIS !!! not for any specific reason just say hi bc imy (we literally talked a few hrs ago) ily sav !!!! PS CONGRATS ON MAKING THE MAGAZINE TEAM IM SO PROUD OF U !!!!

[luvly-writer]

“You are my Sunshine”

Part 24: Grounded and missing home

——————————————

Jason Todd x Latina! Reader

Social Media Au

Warnings: none

Status: Finished

Author’s note: at the end of chapter!

Tag list: @lorosette @milas-teapot @izukuisbaby @alecmores @writing-for-the-hell-of-it @unofficial-jaytodd-wife @graywrites5567 @addictedtothefictionalworld @randobeetlehouse

Series Masterlist:

——————————————-

It was just a casual night in with Nola, both of you bochincheando of the lives of your families…

“you remember my cousin Helena, right?”

Nola nods from the couch where she is sitting at

“Yeah, the one that used to do your nails?”

“Yeah, pues turns out the baby wasn’t her husband’s!”

“WHAT?!?! You’re fkn kidding!”

“Nope, no I am not, during the months that she had spent in Houston, she slept with another man and got pregnant”

“Shit, I told you the timeline didn’t make sense. How would she have gotten pregnant and by her husband who at the time was in Puerto Rico”

“I KNOW! so today I got off the phone with mami and you will never guess what she told me”

Nola sat up and looked at you, super intrigued “what?”

“They got a divorce and she’s going to marry her baby daddy! Even went to Ecuador to visit his family and everything!!”

“FUCK NO WAY!!!!”

“SIIIIIII! You know, I always told you that relationship was rocky since her ex husband already had kids and she wanted more”

“Oh shitttttt, are we invited?”

“OBVIOOOO! She is showing off the wedding preparations EVERYWHERE on social media! EVEN. THE. DRESS!”

“NOT THE DRESS! ISNT THAT BAD LUCK!?!?”

Before you could answer Nola, a knock was heard on the door

You stand up from your place on the floor, gently placing Garbanzo, who was in your lap, in the sofa and to see who it was, only to see Damian pouting with his arms crossed

“Damian, mi niño, what are you doing here? You didn’t send me a text you were coming. Does your father know you’re here?”

Damian was never going to admit it, but he absolutely ADORED you. You always had a nurturing and doting energy on you and he constantly felt safe around you. Sometimes people forget that as much as he can be a killing machine, he IS STILL A CHILD, and having a positive mother figure was so important to him. He looked down and said very softly, “father grounded me because I skipped school…”

You looked at the child warmly and opened your arms

Ah, now there was something that Damian would NEVER admit in his entire life. He fucking LOVED your hugs and taking advantage of the fact that it was only Nola and you, he went straight to your arms and let you pull him inside.

Nola was sitting upside down on the sofa and Garbanzo was sleeping next to her peacefully

YN led him to the living room and let him sit down

“Sup Damian” greeted Nola from the sofa, and placed her hand up for a high five to which he responded

A doting mother figure and cool aunt figure…he could get used to this

“Now Damian, why were you skipping school?” Asks YN sternly.

Nola sits up and says “Oh shit, want some water? Juice? Alcohol?” At the last thing, Yn glared at her, “What? Whatever helps soothe his sorrows.” Defends Nola, making Damian crack a small smile, he tells her water and she stands up to get it, leaving YN and Damian more privacy.

“I didn’t want to go” he says dryly, making you deadpan at him. He sighs softly and finaly confesses, “Before coming to Gotham, I was homeschooled-“ “-by your mother?” YN interrupts and Damian nods and continues, “you could say that my intellect is quite advanced therefore, me going to school is not necessary.”

At that YN, thinks for a while and responds, “You do know, your father is legally required to put you in school till you’re 18, unless it counts as neglect, right?” And Damian nods whilst rolling his eyes

“Yes, YN! But I don’t like being with the other kids, they don’t understand and it is so difficult to be around them and I just…didn’t want to go. Plus, he keeps on saying that he knows my intellect is above Gotham Academy, but that I need to work on my social skills and have extracurriculars. He signed me up for fencing and I’m already the best there and it hasn’t been a week!”

YN hums understanding the problem. Although she has always been friendly, there was a time when…shit went down at home, that she closed off and spent a few years being super shy, so she understands the struggle.

“And is there an extracurricular you’d like?” She asks, “maybe something that might give you an opening to socialize at your pace?”

Damian looks at her and mumbles, “I like art and there is a art club in school, I’ve checked..”

At that, YN claps her hands, “There we go! Why don’t you tell your father about that? I’m sure if you explain how you feel…” she stopped for a second, seeing Damian get visibly uncomfortable at having to explain his feelings to his father, so she decided to rephrase so it fits their dynamic better, “I’m sure that if you negotiate with him, it will be fine”

At that, Damian relaxed and contemplated the outcome. Finally, he nodded and promised to do it once he got home. Knowing things probably aren’t the best at the moment, YN asks him, “Nola and I were gossiping about some interesting things of my family and later I was going to cook some rice, beans and chicken, Puertorrican style, wanna join?”

Damian had never tried her food so he nodded and saw that Nola had come back with a water bottle. She tossed it at him and he easily caught it.

“Now, let me catch you up Damian, with most of my family’s stories, get comfortable cause it’s going to be QUITE the ride” says YN and Nola laughs and adds, “you are going to LOVE this, kid”

And for once that day, Damian sat back, relaxed, laughed at Yn’s storytelling. At some point, they migrated towards the kitchen, YN still sharing stories about her family and all the summers she would go back to PR and Nola providing some stories about her childhood as well and growing up in an Asian household. They had laughed whilst YN cooked and finally sat down for dinner. Damian tried to also share some stories of the adventures his sibling have had over the years (very mindful to only include the ones that happened to them as civilians, he knew Jason hadn’t said a single thing of the whole vigilante ordeal yet) and it made the girls die of laughter. Nola, because she had blackmail material for Jason (please for the love of everything, for Jason’s sanity KEEP HER AWAY FROM STEPH AND TIM, dangerous trio that is!) and YN, because she felt even closer to her boyfriend’s family. As much as he liked to act all tough and cold, she knew that he still had a SUPER big soft spot for them. She didn’t know what caused the rift but she knew it was bad. Yet, any time he spoke about them, he had this huge tenderness in his tone, one that spoke of a love so cautious of being hurt again. He’d do anything for them (he’d complain a little, but he’d be there).

YN didn’t have siblings, the closest thing being Nola and some cousins, so having them enter her life, surely filled her life with joy. And being with a family so huge sometimes, it made her heart yearn for hers all the way across the sea.

Sometime soon, Nola invited Damian to play Mario Kart in the living room and YN was left to wash the dishes. She thought of her family even more. Her mother and her had moved to Gotham when she was barely eleven. The move was hard and it came shortly after her parents divorce. She remembers being new to the city and crying most nights because she missed the song of the coquis, the warmth of the summer, and the sky filled with stars. Sure, Gotham was in the coast and had beaches, beaches where she had gone a few times with her friends through middle school, high school and college. Yet, none of them compared to the beaches of her home. She would fly over there during the summers with her mom and oh boy, did she adore it! Her family gatherings were great. Blasting salsa, bachata, merengue (her personal favorite being salsa), they were filled with the laughter of all her cousins and tíos and tias and her grandparents and even the neighbors. They would have a barbecue on the beach, and days in the Morro flying kites, they would have road-trips along the island and see all of the beautiful sites of her home. She remembers the time Nola went with her, her family decided to go to El Junque and she remembers that it had rained a few days before so naturally, they couldn’t swim in the rivers but they still could walk around. Nola’s shoe got stuck in the mud and she fell making YN laugh so hard, she tripped and fell as well. Both girls ended up covered in mud because of how hard they were laughing. She still has the picture her uncle took of both of them on the floor, covered in mud, smiling brightly at the camera.

So lost in her thoughts, YN didn’t notice Jason come to the apartment. He glanced at Damian arguing with Nola claiming she cheated and insisted a rematch. One that Nola was glad to give him. He chuckled and looked around for his girlfriend, finding her spaced out staring at her bubble filled hands. He furrows his eyebrows and decided to hug her waist from behind, leaving a kiss in her shoulder. He feels her jump slightly, snapping out of her thoughts.

“Jay! You scared me”

He laughs lightly and answers “now what has you so lost in your pretty head that you didn’t see me coming?”

She finishes the last dish, dries her hands and turns around, pecking his lips.

“Nothing much, mi corazón” she smiles up at him and he notices, her smile doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Now come on, my light, you know better than to lie to me like that” he says softly, his worry slightly increasing.

“I’m just a little homesick…I miss my family, and my mom”

Ahhhhh yes, you mom had moved back to PR on Yn’s third year of college to help her uncle take care of her grandmother

“Oh baby, come here” Jason pulls her closer to him and holds her tight. They are interrupted by a knock on the door.

YN walks to it and opens the door, only to find Bruce Wayne tiredly rubbing his hands on his face.

“Please tell me Damian is here. He won’t answer his calls or anything” he says and the girl laughs a little. Poor man, his children quite literally stress the fuck out of him.

“Damian! Your dad is here” she calls out and he comes out of the living room, with a small pout.

“Yang, YN. Thank you for having me.” He says barely acknowledging his brother and his father. You smile at him.

“Anytime, mi pajarito. And when you aren’t grounded anymore, tell me so that I can take you for another day at the Sactuary, they say Tantan the orangutan misses you”

At that, Damian smiles, nods and walks to the car, leaving his brother and father baffled. Bruce was convinced you were a mythic being of some sort, Jason was just too flabbergasted to function.

You wave at both, wishing them a good night for them to get home safe. Once you turn around, you see your o so lovable boyfriend, stuffing his mouth with the food that you had left for him, in pure bliss.

“This is the best thing ever, my love” he says after he swallows almost in tears

“I KNOW RIGHT! AND JUST YOU WAIT UNTIL YOU EAT SOME OF HER MOM’S AND GRANDMA’S FOOD! IT IS TO DIE FOR JASON! TO! DIE! FOR!” Nola screams from the living room.

You laugh a little shaking your head, the sad thoughts slipping away little by little.

——————————————

Author’s note: Little by littleeee you get that YN lore 😈 but in all seriousness, something I don’t see much in x Latina stories much is the yearning from home. Yes, I am a person currently living in my country, PR, but I have absolutely no doubt that it is something that happens to so many other Latinos who have migrated so I hope to show that part. Another thing is that I have noticed that in many cases, Latino culture is more family oriented than US culture, something that I also wanted to write in and represent through her yearning to spend time with her family and being at the moment, the only one away from home. Hope you enjoyed this! Lots of love!

-your writer!

<3

[justmeinatree]

i love talking about my writing so i do not mind all the questions 😂 i've been part of too many fandoms to name here but some of the ones i was the most involved in include Supernatural (still love the show, just don't engage with the fandom much anymore), the MCU (stopped watching the movies after Endgame, went to see Eternals because Harry was in the post credits scene and then fell asleep halfway through and missed him), Star Wars (was more into this when i was younger, these days the only Star Wars media i really care for is Rogue One and nobody else seemed to like that movie lol), Star Trek (mostly TOS), Doctor Who (same thing as Supernatural, still love it just not in the fandom anymore, and the 12th Doctor is my favorite <3), Community (still love the show, probably going to be getting back into the fandom when the movie drops), Les Miserables (i've read the book, seen the Hugh Jackman movie too many times to count, and saw a performance of it a few years back! still love the musical but the fandom feels like it's mostly dead now), Harry Potter (for obvious reasons, I have distanced myself from this one as much as possible but I was a Ravenclaw if anyone was wondering), the Throne of Glass books by Sarah J Maas (actually planning to reread this over the summer! may get back into the fandom, we'll see) and I've been active in the fandom for just about every mainstream horror franchise (and plenty of the more obscure ones too lol). I could probably spend hours creating a comprehensive list of fandoms but i think this is enough for now, unless you're just dying to know more 😂 i started writing in first grade, so around 6 years old. i've known i want to be a writer almost my entire life. i think the first bit of fanfic i ever wrote was for Harry Potter actually, but i don't remember anything about it. and i don't actually know what got me into reading fanfic...i just kind of always remember it being my go-to form of entertainment when i was bored. i am SO sorry for putting a whole novel in your askbox...apparently we're both in very chatty moods today lol

dialogue is the hardest thing for me to write because i always have to rewrite the conversation ten times before i feel like it sounds the way two people would actually speak. i'm much better at giving overly flowery descriptions of the space, and of character's appearances, emotions, etc. i tend to try and limit dialogue as much as i can when possible. my other writing crutch is semi-colons...i simply cannot go a paragraph without including one.

now the pressure is on to keep the fic good for the two of you 😂 i think this is the first time i've been told that two of my readers were talking about my fic beyond the comments section.

i think she's 3 years old? but i always forget. i'll have to ask my mom next time i call her, she's the one that keeps track 😂

-🤘

wow, i cannot comment on any of the fandoms 🫣 don’t rip me apart or anything but i’ve literally never watched a single movie or episode related to any of them 😅 to be fair though, i rewatch the same like 10 tv shows on repeat and i’m not much one for movies 😬 but still that’s so impressive ! HOW did you find so many things that you enjoyed enough to join a fandom ? honestly love all of that for you, and apparently i need to broaden my horizons 😅

that’s crazy how it’s so opposite for us ! conversation is so easy for me to imagine. i wouldn’t even know how to avoid it 😅 semi colons !! never use those bad boys but i’m told i use too many commas. love me a good comma 😂

SHE’S SO CUTE !! i’ve seen the photos you sent and omggg she’s seriously adorable. i don’t know what i was picturing but honestly she’s surpassed the image ! such a fkn cutie 😍😍

[solitudeandseclusion]

SPOILERS FOR EP 11 of Crash Course In Romance

it's not easy being nam haeng-seon. and nam hae-e has grown up to realise that. it took a lot of courage on her part to reveal that haeng-seon is her aunt. this sets haeng-seon free to open up one part of her life and let someone in, someone she can rely on. haeng-seon, initially mad at hae-e for letting their secret out in such a way comes to realise that this is a gift in kind from this kid she raised well.

oh i was HOPING so bad for a scene with yeongju and chiyeol. AND I GOT IT. and it is everything i wanted. the parallel with hae-e telling haeng-seon to hold on to chiyeol & yeongju saying the same thing to chiyeol about haeng-seon.

MY IDIOTS IN THE PARKING LOT. I LOVE THEM <3 HAENG-SEON IS SO TINYYYYYY. (i checked online and we're almost the same height :|)

chiyeol taking her to the place by the river where he first acknowleged that he has feelings for this woman. and we get to see haeng-seon's side and it is VERY I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun. i squealed.

ahhhh the scene back at the banchan store is so cute. all of them bothering her for details.

hui-jae needs to talk to his mom. or someone more adult than him. he obviously cannot handle this alone and should seek help before things get out of hand.

i am glad nam hae-e has good classmates. if we encountered a bully today i would've flipped.

this director at the pride is really such a weasel. how/why are you hiding the possible murder of an employee from other workers??

oh i'm a bit worried about our assistant looking at the coffee and water like that. you scare me, boy. ooh he makes me scared for haeng-seon.

nawww she's blushing & giggling over flowers. i want her to be happy forever.

LET JAEWOO CALL HIM BROTHER-IN-LAW

ayyy seo geon-hu so slick. i hope sunjae doesn't spiral back into being a prick.

ji dong-hui you better fkn behave nicely with haeng-seon or i will metal ball you in the head

ugh let sunjae have his crush and live his teenage life. this is too much stress for him.

ALWAYS TRUST A WOMAN'S HUNCH.

[notroosterbradshaw]

ok so I adore this idea for your 3k-ish celebration! and obviously i adore you and your writing (we have discussed this many times, often i am sobbing lately thank you very much)

i want to nominate sooooooo many people for this. i'm going to. expect more asks with my waxing lyrical about all the amazingly talented peeps i follow.

first off the mark - amazing writer: @sunlightmurdock

katie has such an impressive catalogue and honestly i am blown away by what she comes up with. she writes the dagger squad characters so perfectly, weaves through believable backstory and gives them even more depth. and i also love her reader inserts - i know 'x reader' isn't everyone's fave, but i think the way katie writes 'x reader' is so brilliant and i often view her works as 'x reader' as a character all of their own.

there are two absolute gems (i mean her whole ass library is brilliant) i commend to all:

Trouble in Paradise - fkn miserable rooster making bad life choices and reader with a fiery devil may care attitude who likes to fck shit up for fun. chaos ensues. absolute guilty pleasure read, because i have never ever pulled the shit reader has in this series, but my god it would be so fkn satisfying to do it. one can dream...

Operation Apollo - life for hangman after the navy. hangman vs brat. complex hangman with a metric fcktonne of trauma baggage (ooof we love a broken man). reader is a deliciously infuriating brat who i have wanted to throttle myself... and then two mins later i'm in her corner ugly crying because like HOW DARE THEY and WHY HER. also have chewed my nails off with suspense.

TL;DR - @sunlightmurdock is fkn great and everyone should follow katie.

💛

Ok, @sunlightmurdock Katie, you got yourself a friend here who knows your masterlist intimately! Cate, I love how hard you’ve gone to spread the love, and I know Katie will be thrilled with this!

You know I love some chaos so I am with you on TIP. The description of the fic is sending me haha you read what Cate said, everyone go follow Katie (if you aren’t already). Thank you for submitting! This is a masterclass on asks haha

Continuing the celly today! x Still lots to publish but if you have anyone who deserves a shoutout? Swing them thru. love > hate.

notroosterbradshaw’s 3k-ish follower celebration (spread the love) have you submitted your ask yet?

[bunnihearted]

📓🖊️🧸

[worldwright]

good evening ! got to eat well this lunch :3

forgot to post about it, but yesterday was the 8th month. so weird. it doesn't negatively affect my mood, but i'm more harsh with my words ? anyway, today was the monthly text exchange with my best friend

and

well. i told him that yeah i'm so fucking happy for the apartment and all, and he asked me if anything else's happening in my life, so i talked about yesterday's event -which was really cool btw- and he said "wasn't that a good thing ?" and, fuck, i had to remind him my depression, because i can't see good things happening to me 95% of the time bc of it and he apologized right away

i feel bad for making him apologize by just reminding him of this side of my depression. like, yeah, normal he forgot that, depression kills joy and he has a pretty chill life

i wanted so bad to keep away the bad things in my life for our monthly conversation but, yeah, didn't work out as well as i wanted. it's not that i'm tired of telling it, im just tired that my friends never have good news about me

like that one time with a bus-regular (we only talk bc we take the same bus and she's cool), and it hits me a little too well when she said "there's never a good thing happening to you lmao" (i was laughing and all telling her the news, so yep, normal that she laughed a bit)

It's just, that, well, depression stops me from seeing the good things in my life

have a wonderful morning my friend !

ouchhh that's tough :') glad you got to talk about good stuff though!!

spent my first night in my new place!! on an air mattress.... not the best sleep lmao

the property manager sent me the WRONG ADDRESS last month which wouldn't be a problem !! except!! I told the electric and internet services to switch over to the WRONG. ADDRESS. yay. so mow I have to CALL them and be like hi sorry so don't actually list me on that apartment. somebody already lives there

I put cute stick-on tiles on the bathroom to break up the banana yellow countertop lol -- I'm so mad I can't decorate until furniture gets here next week

doing the whole crazy routine of dropping off the car in the airport pay lot tonight again 🥲🥲🥲 gonna be so fkn tired tomorrow

hope you have a lovely evening, friend!!

[marylouexpress]

god forgive me, i can't take things slowly

"o que vc não me pede sorrindo que eu não te faço chorando?" miguel martinelli (aka miguelito)

celebration dinner w mia at lucy liu. and another one at that fancy turkish one, classy and modern.

luca walking in prudence bar in melbourne, on the last time we've seen each other. the closure talk. the "did you really not know i was in love with you?" dead serious question - melting and steaming at the same time over the tempranillo continuous glasses. i just remember feeling everything tremble from head to toe and this chill coming down my spine. like a fucking spell. and i remember thinking "this fkn connection and weakspot for him might turn out to be a timeless effect.

the sunset long walks in maroochydore.

lovers walk. revolver upstairs. café l'incontro.

me calling hannah for the first time in months out of drunk intuition and it being on her birthday. the fact she didn't believe i wasn't aware it was her birthday.

meeting martin in gili. how he nearly fell off his bike cos he couldnt keep his eyes off me dancing at the outdoor stage of jiggy bar. i was peaking the biggest energetic charge my life has experienced up until today. i was untouchable, fully and truly happy, content, present, open, glowing. the peace i felt when i first sat to have that coffee at the bayam café or something like that... i remember thinking while i was dazed by the color of those waters: so that's what people without anxiety feel like, that's how they go about life. that was a real third eye opener and feeling for the first time a genuine and pure love for myself. so much gratitude. so much hunger for discovery. real life magnet and manifestator. the night before leaving, gazing the stars laying in the middle of the road, beneath palmtrees and a milion stars. the bike rides. the hunter phase with the boys. marcel, gorka, jonathan white, artur deltombe, kristy flood, fkn ben, ellister, louie even... the bike rides on shrooms. are u kidding me? is this life still out there to be lived? i need to reconnect with this part of me. im not free right now.

fuck off adam ten for randomly looking for me and making himself present.

i got to hit the breaks.

i also got to make money. i know full well how capable i am to be extremely abundant if i do things right. with intention. with commitment and presence. vibrantly.

right now i'm conditioned.

i can only be in a party if the white lady is attending. and i haven't been doing other activities with my leisure time other than partying when i leave the house.

so are we seriously challenging our asses to learn how to balance or are we strong enough to admit there's no other way to break the "bad habit" other than embracing a complete change of life style. and work. and friends. basically it's like i'm looking at a scenario where it's almost as if i got to ellaborate another identidy.

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse’s Rewatch Thoughts SPN 12x07 Rock Never Dies

“Is this a polished turd?” laughter “what the hell” “I can’t remember how Lucifer abuses this one - the fame part I think” “what’s that game? I forgot” Words with Friends

“We played scrabble” “drugs? To angels” laughter

“Hell-A” “What are they mocking?” “Did he just say lit?” “so we generated to gen z now? Is that it?” “Let’s get lit with the fam” “yoga pants” “what?” “Is it not manly enough for Dean or something? I don’t understand why he doesn’t like it” “I never really understood hair rock myself” laughter

“BellAqua?” laughter

“Idk if I ever said this before, but the way Dean’s got his jaw cocked…that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard today. He’s so disgusted he can’t say it properly. Why do I need a vegetable but when I can have an angel touch me?” 🎶god works in mysterious ways 🎶

“WHAT” “what’s that supposed to mean?” laughter

Laughter “Feathers” “not a stain in sight” “except on the cardboard of course” “why so serious?” “weird” “it’s getting pretty dark man” “Why do we have to start there?” “why can’t Cas go?” laughter “that’s a good shot” “we’re missing the offshoot episodes that’s following Cas and Crowley around all day. I want one so bad” “got it” “that’s not what she said” “that is what she said” “uh huh” laughter “what the hell are they putting in that juice?” “need more antioxidants’ “ha ha ha ha” laughter

Laughter

“What?” laughter

“Did he name the dog Spanky or something?” It’s a reference to the Little Rascals “How did you know?” I remember the movie

Laughter

“Fkn head injuries dude.” “Three broken necks. At least two concussions” “convenient everyone got out” “Assbutt. They reused it. Still funny though’ “Jesus Christ” “that’s hot” “his contract was over” “He made for a good Lucifer though”

[audible--silence]

El pais de eterna primavera - The country of the eternal spring

I like people that will make a joke even though nobody will laugh - Esmeé

I make my jokes for myself - also Esmée

“At the moment I’m packed for a Mexican summer so I suspect getting on this boat with only a light a sweater probably wont cut it.”

“We’ll make a spot on the boat for your obituary”

“Ok mate, go get in trouble and I’ll talk to you soon”

Obstacle course footpaths and lots of “Buenos Días”

I aspire to be the kind of person that walks to dinner alone or with one mate and ends up asking the host of the ma and pa restaurant for a table for seven

This is why i need to speak Spanish cos otherwise i dont get shit on my corn

“Well since u two have become fkn brother and sister today”

Cannot erase the high-five while playing cornball or the smile from her face.

Knowing she can fake a smile and has broken many hearts is a big fuckn red flag but as Vasco once said, when you put on the rose colored glasses all the red flags just look like flags. Otherwise i could just admit to liking the color red.

-

I hate how happy it made me when you insinuated you weren’t happy with him

Plans are a bit more of an abstract concept that don’t really mean an awful lot out here. Your whole life’s direction can be heading seven different directions in as many different days based on loose promises, bad ideas and throwaway conversations

How can you go back to beers with normal people after the exhilaration of days spent with someone like her

And the most painfully frustrating thing is that I know Ill be fine. The earth will lap the sun again and I’ll wake up just a little bit less attached to the memories of our days and a little less obsessed with that fucking perfect face.

It almost discounts the value of the connection I felt we’d had.

Almost erased the rarity of the joy I felt.

Almost undercuts how special that time was.

But not quite.

I know I’d give near anything to spend another day eating fried plaintains, hunting secondhand clothes, taking photos in the streets, drinking and playing strange games and getting to know each other through hours of conversation.

It took one day of not seeing you to turn me inside out after only three days of knowing you existed.

What kind of person are you and what kind of life is this.

A lot of writing for only a few days. A sure sign that you’re feeling things. Gdfkndmn Esmée you got me down bad

[kdipshit]

Well I Got The Thing I Needed, I Guess…

I have to learn to do everything my own way, as doing something with someone else’s perspective is just not possible. I have to be difficult all the time huh…

My body stays the same even tho it feels like my brain switches. Perspectives change. Beliefs. Realisations. Like the person I was 1 hour ago was dark and gloomy and quick to anger. irritated. But BPD irritation. I wanted to turn into a tornado and rip thru my entire house taking everyone up in it. Lol. Jk. But fr… and the person I am now is nothing like that. I don’t even think that way at all, why would I even want to it sounds like a war zone over there. Lets remember the parts of ourselves that occupy the body when the body is feeling so dark. She’s still us. Thats still me. Lol how do I say that? Im still me. Thats better. Im so sick of these walls in my brain keeping me from the other sides of myself, I can’t stay in the dark space for very long without scratching my way out. And its painful. Am I supposed to stay in that feeling until it passes? Coz sometimes it feels like it doesn’t fucking end, so I grab my bong and then I’m better. But weed is limited. Sometimes I think ill be better if I was just on the right meds. Im still very upset about my psych trip. And it makes me feel so discouraged to even continue trying…. But. I will keep trying. As long as I have weed to lean on, I’m straight as. But I’m not ignoring the darkness by trying to feel better. I can look at it in another perspective. I gotta do better. I gotta do better. The bruised knuckles do give me character tho. I should message A more quickly next time, she really did an amazing job at switching my perspective, its like she knows exactly how to talk to me. Im so grateful.

+ the weed makes me write better. Its easier to write down the thoughts… I found myself sounding like my hippie ass aunty telling my little sister that thoughts become things lol. Its such a shame that I’m actually crazy because no one really believes me lol. thoughts do become things tho, she was right, I just didn’t see the bigger picture, and I guess no one ever really will until they can for themselves. THANK YOU FOR PAIN. You give your shadow self love by learning how to thank the pain, and the hard journey, and the sleepless nights and teary eyes. Learning better methods, keeping yourself out of thought loops by treating every single day as brand new. Realising no ones got a problem with me lol. Im not a problematic person.

anyways…. Whats been going on wed chyall? Lol imagine all that trauma dumping and then I sip my tea. Your turn aunty. I’m always trine rush finish something because the act of doing something for too long freaks me out. Thats gotta be that ADHD hoe, which will be fixed if I fkn get my right meds bro wtf!!! D: like so much of my problems would be fixed if I just had the fun goddamn meds Jesus FUCK. Is it that hard around here? They think imma pill popper bro won’t even give me valium anymore, dogs. No fkn wonder why I’m smoking like smokey mother fucker, my shits al the way fucked up my boy. Give me the fucking pills lmaoooo. And up them anti-psychotics while your at it lmaoooo.

Does anyone else have conversations with other people in your head? Thats a normal thing right? Well the convos in my head are too quick to for me to write down, but they be having me fucked up on some different shit. I just did it, I just stopped a bad thought for manifesting bigger and replaced it with a better one AS SOON as it appeared. Sometimes I’m not quick enough and it catches me instead. I sat with myself today, I don’t even remember what I wrote in the ideation one. But I remember what mindset I was in, I’m curious to see how honest with myself I was. I can be honest with myself right now and day I don’t think I did good enough. There were times where I was thinking I really don’t wanna do this anymore. I forgot what I needed to remember, which was to redirect all go those feelings into positive ones, I know these things, but at some point, every emotion on peak feels the same, so I was historically crying on the way home, recklessly, because I forgot to remind myself, to switch the thought, look at everything else thats good, and setback or something super annoying happening is because your energy is needed elsewhere!! Butterfly effect, nothing in the end is bad. Its just a redirection, stop being so controlling, and let it be, let it flow, while you only control yourself, your reactions and your thoughts. Thoughts determine emotions, and emotions are my kryptonite.

The problem is my thought patter, and how it recycles the same 10-30 sentences over and over again. Some fkn crazy delulu, some that genuinely make sense cuz, and then the same normal other shit, right???? lol. Idk what I’m saying anymore but sometimes I ramble write (all the time) and I read it back and its dope as fuck and I actually make sense.

My poor knuckles are busted all because I knocked and no one answered. Well nah fuck, it was that, and then it was the non answered door last week too, its the non answered phone calls its the non answered emails like broooo. Should not be this hard to see a psychiatrist in my city I swear to god. Without weed I’m completely self destructive, I need to build my strength on my other positive coping mechanisms because typing really hurts. And I love to write. Self destructive me is very overwhelmed and unsure how to untangle everything so everything comes out as a big fat cry.