#she gets over the fear of degrading bc guess what. she has a friend and they play toys together

[lynxfrost13]

Thinkin about them and this again…

would you guys still love me if hypothetically something bad happened to Kosmos and Dorredt

[lautity]

omg how did you guess i think about her.....steps in front of username to cover it. ignore that

edit from after this was written: i am so sorry. i am so so so sorry for this. it's like a whole fic i have no one else to say this to bc no onecares about them HAJKDSAHKSJHD i am . shaking. so sorry. omg. don't hate me

anyway you are so correct ARHJHKS pathetic autistic lesbian who grew up alienated from her peers bc she was "weird" and ppl didn't wanna be friends with her....until zoey came along and actually tolerated her (used her) and turned her into a dog basically.

she'd do anything for zoey....anything..........they are so homoerotic codependent friendship coded. zoey is MOST DEFINITELY in love with hailey but in like a very unhealthy "my feelings for you make me look weak so i need to make you weak by treating you like this" (plus zoey is just a bitch to everyone in general)

and hailey just takes it. bc she admires zoey so much. like she canonically sees her as a mentor. even though they're likely the same age. and yes yes she is in love with zoey because who wouldn't be. who wouldn't fucking fall for the only person who ever like. talked to her. who sings so well and acts so well and controls every room she enters. who has the power over people hailey could only dream to have one day......and also she's SO hot

NOW. THOUGH. it is canon that they have a third roommate. what if i told you it was greenpeace girl herself - harmony jones. (not canon. not even hinted at)

i just think. harmony is soo passionate about the environment. passionate in general. also autistic. good at masking though. but takes no shit. she's the first person zoey can't manipulate or degrade and it SUCKS. she's like 5'10 to me and basically towers over zoey of she's wearing her huge thrifted black boots. and it makes her so flustered and SO angry

and like. it is pretty funny to intimidate hatchetfield's favorite knockoff regina george. zoey passes her in the hallway and actually has to look up to meet harmony's dumb stupid sparkly gorgeous eyes......and harmony just smirks.........and zoey like. regains her composure. tears her eyes away and hisses "get out of my way" and practically sprints to her room. slams the door. and harmony calls after her "sorry princess" and zoey is so angry and flustered she bites a pillow not to scream

hailey and harmony are soo special too. harmony sees hailey, because she's willing to. she likes listening to her ramble. she likes seeing her happy & not constantly hiding herself in fear of being abandoned again. she is soooo down bad for hailey she'd do anything for her.

sounds like a pretty weird roommate dynamic right. WRONG. polyamory beam.

hailey looks at harmony like she carries the stars in her eyes. harmony looks at her the same. zoey is added into this and feels a little out of place. for the FIRST TIME in her life, zoey chambers feels out of place.

hailey and harmony make a huge effort though. because they are also still very much down bad for this bitch.

harmony just has like.....zoey on a leash. a mean lesbian with an even meaner lesbian on a leash. zoey eventually leans into it. her new role of being harmony's pretty princess........

she starts being less cruel to hailey. she's still like a bitch, that's just in her nature, but there's sweetness to it.....she makes an effort to learn stuff about hailey. hobbies and favorite musicals and all that. she learns that hailey can actually be kinda sorta cool (in a lame way) if she's not constantly biting her tongue.

staring at you really hard like a cat. they (you) could never make me hate you zazz haileydilmore.

i am actually really obsessed with 'in love with her, but not as an equal'. princess and handmaid coded. fondness but its buried under so much scorn. you Could tell her. and it'd probably make her more devoted. but she'd already do anything for you, so why give her that leverage?

there's this specific feeling some people (especially like. popular hot girls. lol) give you where they make you feel important. like. just by being around you, by deeming you worth their time, they're calling you special. even if they aren't actually being nice to you. unspoken affection of letting you stay close to them. it's like a really fun addictive feeling and i think hailey is always chasing that from zoey

harmony teaching hailey that she deserves so so much better than how zoey treats her.......i don't think that would be immediate but it would be like. a slow build-up of being less and less comfortable w/ zoey's demands before she finally flat-out refuses to do something. probably with a "you aren't even nice to me, zoey. I don't think you ever have been."

i think....zoey hates seeing harmony and hailey happy together at all it makes her So Mad because she had hailey first. and she's been stolen. by what? being kind??

the Entire Time zoey is ruminating on this harmony and hailey are both trying to kind of invite her in and be like hey we arent mad at you we should probably all talk (The Polyamory Talk™. zoey does not know this i dont think). but zoey is both upset/jealous and maybe a little tiny bit worried that she'll fuck up whatever they have. because she does maybe feel the littlest bit bad about hurting hailey. a little bit. because there is actually something nice about this happier, more confident, more assertive hailey. maybe she feels a miniscule amount of guilt that she was the reason she was miserable for so long.

they do finally ask her out and shes so out of her element waugh......because yeah harmony has her whipped.

+ ur so right zoey is never nice, persay, but harmony definitely dulls some of her edges and she's a lot more able to say things with affection rather than spite. and harmony's reign ushers in clear communication (or else), so when zoey has issues with hailey there is no more passive-aggressive comments that leave her spiralling

ugh i think zoey wld still snap at hailey sometimes and harmony always mediates.....theres something kind of fun about hamony being a protector. maybe zoey feels a little left out sometimes because of this, like she's the third or the spare or the least wanted. not a feeling shes used to! of course they reassure her that this is not true. but maybe she makes a bit more of an effort with her temper, anyways. you understand

[valleyfthdolls]

I wonder what I would do if I were to reimagine Gumdrop Angel. Bc the body horror aspect is cool as FUCK and I <3 Angel's degradation thru the story but the actual lead-up is cheap, reused, and poorly thought out and has NO bearing on the actual plot (unlike Lonely Freddy, where those who things cannot be removed from one another). I guess I would think maybe Angel was a new hire at a Freddy Fazbear's Pizza who grew up poor and emotionally neglected and had a kinda dependency on eating sweets for the dopamine hit from sugar bc of subsequent depression, and she resents the kids whose parents could afford or cared enough to go to Fazbear's for birthdays, which ends up getting pushed onto Ophelia, a very sweet freshly 5 year old girl happy as can be who is obviously spoiled rotten by her parents and takes a liking to Angel. Angel then uses this to basically bully Ophelia at her party, culminating in the gumdrop girl thing which Angel ruins for Ophelia (angry that Ophelia got the childhood she wanted) by taking the last piece and eating it in front of her, ruining her birthday party entirely and causing her to run away crying. Angel's manager (who she has a crush on) promises that he'll punish her accordingly, but only tells her not to worry about it and sends her home to rest even though she's meant to be on closing shift. Throughout the night, she has a huge craving for candy, which she passes off and goes to bed. Cue the candy rash spreading, Angel comes back to Fazbear's in the middle of the night and it's apparent that her manager didn't punish her because he knew she had crafted her own punishment, and sent her home early because he didn't want to have to see her transforming. He gets upset with her for coming back, then resigns himself to going along with this, puts her into the box, and the story ends the next day when a giant gumdrop girl is being advertised for the next birthday party, where Ophelia expresses concern that if they don't have a smaller one, the giant gumdrop girl might be too much candy for her and her friends, before her parents tell her it's fine for everyone to indulge a bit for her do-over birthday party. Short and sweet, doesn't milk the child abuse/neglect factor, works just as well without the Lonely Freddy mimicry. Angel remains sympathetic while also feeling more like her actions, thoughts and behaviors have bearing on the story and matter. Body horror becomes the focus and thematically ties to Angel herself (being someone with a dependency on sugar). Her resentment for Ophelia remains the same without, again, milking her victimhood. Also, the ending only implying that Angel is about to be eaten alive is rlly eerie to me. Plus, salt in the wound re: Ophelia being the kid she wishes she could've been to have Ophelia and co. be the partygoers eating the gumdrop Angel.

It could've been so good I fear

[booklovingturtle]

Cardan finds out how Balekin tortured Jude

This turned out to be longer than planned. As soon as I submitted my last final assignment for the semester, I opened up Tumblr and wrote this for @duarteegreenbriar bc of this post. You can def expect another fic where he finds about Locke *wink wink*

I hope you enjoy it! This is kinda like hc/fic based in QON while Jude is still exiled. Also its unedited because I wanted to get this out before I went on Christmas break. 

“We have news for you,” was the Bomb’s way of greeting Cardan one earlier morning. Yellow and pinks drops of sunrise had just barely started to fall over Elfhame when he received the Roach’s message, asking to meet.

Not too far into Jude’s exile and a few months since the old Court of Shadows had been demolished meant that the High King and his Queen’s band of spies were meeting in an old cellar long since forgotten in the palace. The only way to even enter it was through an opening Cardan had used his new-found magic to make. The opening was hidden in a fake armoire of one of their guests rooms. The room itself was perpetual damp, insufficiently furnished, and lacking any of fun memories the old court held. But it was well protected from prying ears and hard to access so it would due.

“How are my favorite pair of mischievous friends?” Cardan smirked reflexively at the serious look on their faces. His tail twitched uncomfortably beneath his clothes.

Mouth in a thin line. Back straight. Eyes narrowed. Hand on nearest weapon. Yes, everything about the way they stood told him whatever he was going to hear would not be pleasant.

“We have news,” the Roach mimicked his companion’s no-nonsense tone.

“So I’ve heard,” Cardan rolled his eyes. He retied the thick red cape he’d thrown on himself to fight of the chill of the cellar. It gave his hands something to do other than twitch at his sides. “Jude?”

“Yes and no.” The Bomb started. “She’s fine. Safe as usually doing some odd jobs for a faerie in the mortal world.”

“This about what happened before her exile.” Roach continued. His beady eyes were unreadable as usual. “We looked into Balekin’s connections with the Sea as you asked us to. We found out what Orlagh had been doing with Jude while she was imprisoned.”

A lump sat in his throat. No matter where she was Jude always felt like the center of his world. He couldn’t go longer than an hour awake or asleep without thinking about her. Her time in the Undersea had only intensified the problem for him.

“Out with it. What did you discover?”

“You already know that Balekin thought he could glamour her. I-” the Bomb looked anxiously at the Roach. They shared a glance and she pulled a weathered envelope from inside her coat. “We think it might be best if you just read this. It’s a collection of court documents detailing what the Undersea would do to her.”

“I don’t understand. Why would they keep records of that? What use do they have of collecting memories of Jude’s torture? I thought those events were mostly private for Orlagh’s own pleasure.”

“We can only assume that there were more people attending them than Jude was led to believe. Perhaps as secret spectators. One can only guess what Undersea’s Queen was plotting.”

“There’s more. Some came from Balekin’s personal journals, uncovered despite Orlagh’s attempt to destroy any evidence of her alliance with him.”

Cardan couldn’t stand their cautious looks. He turned to face the wall behind him. He wasn’t sure if it was possible to feel such a heady mix hate and fear and sorrow and freedom all at one time. Every mention of Balekin’s name was like a blow to the stomach.

“Just tell me what happened.”

“We think it might be best if you read it. You don’t have to. There’s nothing really useful to us if you’d prefer to not know exactly what they did.” The Bomb said I’m a voice usually soft for her.

“She’s right. But I think it’s important that you know regardless. Take the papers. Read them if you want to. When you’re ready.” The Roach said in a way that suggested that it shouldn’t have even been an option to not read what was contained inside the envelope.

Cardan faced them again. The Bomb handed him the collection of papers and left. The Roach stayed back long enough to warn the High King.

“It won’t be easy. What you find in there.”

Cardan looked him in the eyes, trying to find some comfort or understanding that he could lean on. Instead he just found pity.

“Thank you. Tell the Bomb that I appreciate it. No matter what I find.”

Roach nodded and walked out of the cellar. Within seconds it was just Cardan standing in a damp cellar by himself. He stared at the weighted envelop. It felt like it was full of explosive lead, not weathered folded leaves of paper.

Cardan tucked it into his belt and trekked back up to his room. The guards lined outside of his chambers looked curiously at the sight of their High King. He closed the door behind him and stripped off the heavy cloak. Cardan sat at the bench at the foot of his large bed. He wasn’t sure if it was his right to know what happened to her during her imprisonment. If Jude had wanted to share those details with him then she would have.

Cardan stared at an empty corner of his room. A spiraling curl of vines snaked up the walls. White dahlia’s sprung up amidst the green leaves. He’d been practicing how to control his pull of the land for a few months now but it still felt odd to be able to sway nature this way and that.

He thought about the dizzying display of power he’d used when he was face to face with Orlagh. It had felt as if the very land he stood on bowed beneath his fists. He knew she’d never admit it but he remembered the look on Jude’s face when she’d first realized what was happening. She was impressed by all that he’d learned to do while she was gone.

Not gone. Captured. Held prisoner.

Cardan didn’t let himself second guess his decision. He yanked the envelop open and scanned the first few documents.

The mortal is starting to loose it’s sanity. It’s clear even the glamour can’t help it hold on much longer. It is much thinner than it had been when Orlagh first brought it. There are also a considerable number of marks left along its body. Rumor has it the princess herself may be responsible fo them.

Cardan felt like throwing up. He remembered how Jude had looked like a ghost when she'd first returned. All bones and angles when she’d been hard muscle and soft skin.

He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the images of her skin touching his. Of his fingers touching her. The papers in this hands made him sick to his stomach. They called her an it. And said she had marks. Not one but many.

The dahlia’s crumbled up and withered to dust. Hot pink heart-shaped buds bloomed in their place.

He flipped to the next page, recognizing the handwriting of the thick stationary paper. His hand was shaking by the time he go to the end of the torn journal entry.

Jude has been an interesting toy. A fun toy. Her attachment to my brother has been a mystery. I though perhaps she had some sort of secret or piece of black mail to hold over him. Even with the glamor, she hasn’t revealed anything if she does. Though the nature of their relationship is still unknown, I believe I have a way of figuring it out.

Cardan stood abruptly. His body hummed with nervous. His tail wriggled uncomfortably until it came loose. It swung behind him and Cardan had to step away from the bench to keep it from slamming against it. The next journal entry had him regretting he’d stood up.

Any suspicions I’d had of their relationship have been answered. I used a glamour to force her to kiss me as she would kiss my brother. It worked perfectly. It was horrendous. I hate myself for even asking her to do it. For degrading myself enough to touch a creature like her but it worked. She kissed me with all of the fires that mortal are described to feel when they love something. Their bright and easily extinguished fires. She looked at me as though I was the only man she’d ever seen and ever wanted to touch. I almost withdrew the demand but I’m glad that I didn’t. Had I gone back on my command, I never would have understood how deep her affection for him went. She truly cares for him.

The next question is how much does Cardan care for her? It’s clear he’s fascinated by her. Curious about her. But cats are curious of mice when they first chase after them. It’s after they’ve caught them beneath their claws that they bare their fangs. Perhaps that’s what Cardan has been doing. Though knowing the naive nature of my brother’s heart, I highly doubt it. I’ll find out soon enough. for the girl’s sake, I hope it’s later rather than sooner. Should Orlagh let her live long enough to ever see Cardan again, I’d love to watch him destroy that mortal love of hers.

Cardan’s knees gave out from under him. He stared at the letters for what felt like centuries. They didn’t feel real. Balekin had forced Jude to kiss him. He knew she wasn’t glamoured as he thought she had been. That meant Jude had to kiss him completely aware of her actions. She had to force herself for kiss Balekin in a way that would convince him of her love for his brother. Cardan reread it a forth time, praying that somehow the letters would rearrange themselves to tell him a different story.

Distantly he realized why the Bomb and the Roach had opted out of telling him themselves. How did you tell the High King of Elfhame that his abusive older brother forced the woman he loved to kiss him.

The paper crinkled in his hands. Cardan released an angry growl. His blood boiled as he read it for a sixth time. She never mentioned it. Not that they had much time before her banishment to talk through all the details. Nor was it likely that Jude, with her affinity for secrets and lies, would tell him the truth about the situation.

Cardan paced back and forth in the room. If she would just answer his damned letters. If he could just get her to come back to Elfhame and talk to her. To see her. To apologize for what happened between them. Between her and Balekin. He was never more grateful than he was in that moment that she killed him.

After reading the letter Cardan almost wished he’d come back to life just so he could drive the blade through his older brother himself. Cardan heard the crackling fire of the hearth. He threw the stack of papers into the fire. A thick puff of smoke fizzled out of the flames as they blackened into ash.

The ugly words disappeared from existence but the High King would never forget the torturous curves. He’d never forget what the Undersea did to her. What Balekin did to her.

Cardan rushed to his desk, brashly scribbling out a missive to send to Jude.

Jude, he started the letter. Jude. He couldn’t think of anything else to write to her. Jude. Please come back. Just come back. Jude. I’m sorry. I’ll be better. I promise. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude. Jude .Jude. Jude.

He’d filled the paper with her name. If he couldn’t see her then maybe the letters of her name would be enough to erase the sickness he felt after opening the envelope. 

-

Author’s Note: I couldn’t figure out how long she was exiled bc I’m still on campus and my books are at home so excuse the ambiguous timeline. If anyone knows the answer to how long she was imprisoned/exiled/when the letters were written please let me know.

[runbeyonddreams]

A "Tussle" over Tina Fey

An old college classmate posted the latest Tina Fey sketch about sheet cake. She obviously thought it was brilliant.

The following is our FB convo. It was a reminder as to why we were more like frenemies in college than actual friends. Not even sure why I'm still connected to her on FB...

_____

ME:

I get why this was funny. I laughed a bit until she said this,

“In conclusion, I really want to say, to encourage all good sane Americans to treat these rallies this weekend like the opening of a thoughtful movie with two female leads; Don’t show up. Let these morons scream into the empty air."

Whether she meant to or not, her privilege is showing and her lack of fully understanding the importance of intersectionality is glaring.

If all good Americans could actually benefit from just not showing up, that WOULD BE F*CKING fantastic. Eating cake is WAY more fun for real.

But, there are plenty good sane Americans who stand to lose A LOT more than a financially secure white lady, if they decide to just sit out and not protest, not push back, not make their voices heard.

HER:

I don't think she meant it, the whole segment is about being ironic; she's eating a freaking cake. It's slapping you in the face with sacrasm and ironic self-awareness. She's making fun of herself and her privilege in her upper middle white class collegiate sweatshirt, etc. She knows shes a white privileged woman. Now, does being ironic (as an intelligent comedian) also have to be criticized as "tone deaf" and showing her privelege? I just don't think so. After all--while she's making fun of folks "not showing up" to those movies she's talking about (that she probably wrote and or produced) I'm sure she actually would LOVE for people to show up to them. She's being ironic. I don't doubt for a second that she's sympathetic to intersectionality.

I'm going to guess you think my response shows my privelege and lack of understanding when it comes to intersectionality...? Wink wink?

Ultimately, like most male comedians do in the face of fear, sadness and darkness, she was trying to find a way to bring levity to a sad chapter. I personally think that the uproar is more misogynistic than anything.

Anyway. We should be fighting Nazis together (which I'm sure we both are) not dissecting Tina freaking Fey. I'm gonna get back to Donald Trump, who occupies most of my god damn time these days.

ME:

My side eye to Tina Fey is because this isn't a one off for her. I also didn't appreciate her previous comments regarding the white washing of Whiskey Tango Foxtrot and the unsettling episode of Kimmy Schmidt where she made fun of Asians in a really racist way. She can get away with just blowing over her missteps as "hey, I was just joking" because of her privilege. Plain and simple. There's a demographic of people who are just so over being told "lighten up, I didn't mean it, it was just a joke, stop being so serious" about all the little things that hurt and degrade.

I still own her book. I will still try and watch Kimmy Schmidt. I still kinda love Mean Girls. But, I admire her less and less the more missteps she takes. I keep hoping she'll figure it out.

If you were to see my side of my news feed there is a definite difference between those who revered this Tina sketch as unflawed and brilliant, those who are too tired of micro aggressions to truly take her to task, and those who are extremely outraged and hurt by the unapologetic trivial comparison between deciding to attend a movie opening and taking part in a civil rights protest.

If you were trying to make a joke "wink wink" about me possibly judging you, it fell flat. I'm pretty sure I never mentioned any judgment of you in my comment. I didn't really give YOU much thought when I wrote the comment. Does it say more about you than me that you feel the need to defend yourself somehow? If I DID feel that you don't fully understand my stance or the importance of intersectionality, would it even matter to you? Is that what white fragility looks like? Wink wink.

Also, for those who dissect Tina Fey, it does not necessarily mean it is taking time away from fighting Nazis and the mindset of 45 & his supporters.

It's recognizing that it is important, especially now, to understand how carelessly discarded seeds grow into invasive destructive weeds.

HER:

Ah, the winks were a bad idea, I told myself!

ME:

Yep.

HER:

I think it's really weird I just had a tussle with you over Tina Fey--you are someone who clearly has the same viewpoints of me on almost everything regarding women, minorities, politics, etc. I'm not exactly sure what happened here other than we seem to not really know much about the other anymore. Sad.

ME:

How is this a tussle? I let you know exactly why I had a different reaction to her sketch than you did. You defended her, explained why you think she's still brilliant, then said you had better things to do than further dissect the impact of Tina Fey's words/actions. Totally fair. You most likely haven't been hurt by any of the things she has said for laughs. I understand that. And honestly, I'm not judging you for that. That's not within your control.

Then you casually brushed off me POSSIBLY judging you, and challenging your choice to put Fey on a pedestal (once again, nope, wasn't doing that bc I get why the sketch is otherwise hilarious) as a thinly veiled joke (?) to maybe make sure someone you barely know doesn't think less of you for thinking differently.

Not a tussle.

Just reality.

This is my reality whenever I point out the hurtful flaws of high profile celebrity "heroes", or anyone.

I've honestly had to explain my pov on various occasions similar to this one, with very similar people to you, and not once has anyone ever said, "ohhhhh... I see I might be missing something. I'll make a point to be more aware of that going forward. I'll dig deeper and peel back another layer. I'll take a moment to really learn why this is causing so much dialogue."

Nope.

And you know what? I keep trying. Keep hoping that someone will. So I keep trying.

But yeah, maybe I'll just scream into a sheet cake while attempting to shove the whole thing in my mouth.

It would definitely be more fun.

[rosaryteeth]

found an ask meme just so i could answer some questions because i’m BORED i need something to do

1. Are you a virgin?

no

2. Does anyone besides you know your bra/penis size?

i don’t even know my bra size anymore 

3. Do you know anyone who has any STDs?

not that i know of, but it’s not rlly yknow...widely discussed i think

4. Were you married when you first lost your virginity?

no

5. Do you swear under celibacy?

no lmao sometimes i wish i did bc i don’t have sex often enough and celibacy would give me a voluntary reason to not have sex

6. When did you first lose your virginity? If you haven't, when would you like to?

i was 19, the summer after my sophomore year of college

7. Have you ever gotten tricked into aphrodisiacs or alcohol for sex?

no yikes 

8. Have you walked in on someone masturbating/having sex?

no 

9. Have you ever seen someone masturbate or have sex with their permission?

kind of?? it was over facetime and i couldn’t see anything below the waist 

10. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?

honestly i’ve really never had sex in a weird place. it was only weird to me bc of the situation but the last time i had sex was in the guy’s family’s house, and his family is like super well known in my city so it felt like a weird accomplishment to get railed inside their home

11. If you had to chose one, would you have outdoor sex or car sex?

i’ve never done either, but there are so many pros and cons to both. pro, outdoor sex would have more room, but con, the thought of getting like grass or dirt or any foreign bits in my vagina sounds terrible. i think i’d rather do it in a car

12. When was the age you first masturbated? Whether you knew it or not?

i was 14 when i reeeally did it, like gave myself an orgasm and vaguely knew that was what i was trying to do. but i started messing around with myself some when i was 13, i just had no idea how my anatomy actually worked

13. Have you ever helped someone "finish"?

yes

14. Have you ever had an erection in the past month? (clitorial counts, too)

i guess (i never think of it as a clitoral erection lmao that just sounds so weird to me)

15. When was the last time you have had an erection? (clitorial counts, too)

uh like two nights ago, i masturbate almsot every night just because

16. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

thankfully no one can see these clitoral erections B)

17. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

it used to be just clitoral (just hands or a vibrator), but in the last few months i discovered crystal dildos and now that is where its at

18. What is your bra/penis size?

again i have no idea

19. Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself or a family member?

yes

20. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

i guess crystal dildos are kinda strange

21. Do you like rough sex or intimate sex better?

why can’t it be BOTH

22. When was the last time you masturbated?

tuesday night i think

23. When was the last time you had sex?

in november lmao it’s been too long

24. When was the last time you watched porn?

probably the last time i masturbated 

25. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

yes, i bought my first vibrator two years ago when i was 19, and yes it still works 

26. Guys: Circumsized?

welp

27. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

my NECK i will be putty in your hands if you touch my neck

28. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

i mean....everything

29. Girls: Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

no, i don’t really have a ton of feeling in my nipples, never have

30. What color/type of underwear are you wearing?

navy blue from victoria’s secret 

31. Have you ever sent someone a picture or video of you in the nude?Did it include sexual actions?

yes i’ve sent pictures of myself that were sexual but i’ve never sent one with actual nudity

32. Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website? Did it include sexual actions?

yes, i’ve posted ~tasteful nudes~ here and on my finsta for my friends. none included sexual actions

33. Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude? Did it include sexual actions?

no

34. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

no

35. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

it’s been a while. i think i had one a few weeks ago?? i forget

36. Which wet dream was your favorite?

honestly i don’t rlly have sexual dreams very often, and when i do they’re more frustrating than anything because i always wake up as soon as the actual sex starts 

37. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

yes, idk if he’s entirely my friend, probably more of an aquaintance, but it’s someone i’ve had sex with before & would do again

38. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

i wanna get spit roasted by mads mikkelsen and hugh dancy as hannibal and will

39. Have you ever masturbated with someone?

over facetime, and also kind of during sex?? like only for a minute

40. Have you ever took a shower with someone that is not a family member?

no, shower sex sounds scary i’d probably slip and die 

41. Favorite sexual position? If you are a virgin, which position interests you?

i fuck with a good missionary, no hate to that (like when you alter it with leg positions especially). i’m also a big fan of being on my side with the guy like kneeling upright

42. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

SO MUCH. literally like one of my biggest kinks 

43. Are you into any BDSM?

i’ve never really done any, but i’m very open to it

44. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

yes kind of. it’s always been people i’ve had sex with before, and either it’s just not possible at the time bc of whatever reason, or they’re not interested anymore 

45. Turn on's?

dirty talk, degradation, anything to do with my neck, spanking, man anything if i’m into someone sexually everything they do will turn me on

46. Turn off's?

idk about specific things during sex, but if i don’t feel a sexual vibe connection with somenoe, i’ll never be attracted to them so it’ll just never happen

47. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone? Was it about anyone other than your lover?

yes i’ve had sexual fantasies, mostly just reminiscing on past sexual encounters. i guess other times that i fantasize (in the present situation), there’s no specific person involved in the fantasy 

48. Have you ever had phone sex? Video sex? Chat box sex?

i used to have facetime sex when i was in a weird tumblr relationship

49. What was the weirdest thing that has ever turned you on?

i guess when i realized i was so into being called a slut, it was a little weird. i just never thought it would be my thing

50. Do you like dirty talk?

SO MUCH. 

51. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

i can be quiet if i have to be, but also can get loud if it’s allowed. usually i’m pretty quiet during masturbation, but every now and then i’ll make some sounds 

52. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

yes, a couple times with my ex. once, his roommate came home while we were in the middle of it, and we didn’t realize he was back til he pounded on the wall and told us to shut up. then twice, his mom interupted us. the first time, she definitely knew what was going on bc she wasn’t home when we started and we didn’t know she came back. the second time i don’t think she had any idea, she just called him out to look at something or something, and he had to very hastily try to pull himself together 

53. Most embarressing sex/masturbation story?

getting caught by my ex’s mom was pretty embarassing 

54. Most hilarious sex/masturbation story?

i guess maybe that’s kinda funny too? thankfully i have no funny or embarassing masturbation stories 

55. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

i’m a fan of the locally grown organic content on tumblr, usually people masturbating is my go to

56. First type of porn you have ever watched? (ie. lesbian, hentai, threesome)

i think it was a group of girls masturbating together

57. What was the most recent type of porn you have ever watched? What category was it under?

last time, i just scrolled through a porn blog on tumblr and looked at whatever came up

58. Most hilarious/stupidest porn you have ever watched?

that porno with the thing about the lemon tree that was a meme a few years ago

59. Have you ever fantasized over someone older than you? How much older? Younger? How much younger?

yes, technically. 2/3 guys i’ve been with are older than me (one only by a few months, the other by two or three years), and the other  is younger than me by a year and a half 

60. Favorite sex toy (if any)?

crystal dildos are life changing 

61. Have you ever had to break up with/divorce someone because you weren't satisfied with their sex?

no, but that’s a true fear right there 

62. Have you ever used anything/gotten any surgeries to improve sexual performance/feel?

no

63. If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower?

if it was someone i was interested in, yes. if not, then no, likewise for a tumblr follower. 

64. Have you ever told someone any wet dreams/fantasies you've had about them?

yes, when i had sex dreams about my ex (while we were together), i told him about it

65. Do you like to have sex like they do in pornos?

i’m not sure?? does anyone have sex like in pornos?

66. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

i think i told my ex i masturbated to him (also while we were together, i’m not a weirdo)

67. Are you able to be secretive when you masturbate? (like able to be quiet so no one can hear?)

yes

68. When was the first time you achieved orgasm?

when i was 14 and realized where the clitoris is 

69. Is there only one way so far that you have been able to achieve orgasm? (ie. only by using toys, only from 1 positon,only from masturbating a certain way)

only by myself, so far i’ve not been able to orgasm with a partner. they’ve all put in a noble effort, but i think i’ve accidentally conditioned my body to only be able to cum by myself 

70. Favorite type of oral?

giving B)

71. Strangest sexual positon you've tried?

i don’t really think i’ve ever done anything that crazy as far as positions go

72. Have you ever made up a sexual postion?

no

73. Girls: During sex, vaginal or anal?

obviously vaginal is number 1, but i’ve done anal for a very brief amount of time before, and i’m open to exploring it more

74. Girls: During masturbation, clitorial, vaginal, or anal?

clitoral and vaginal (only vaginal if i have a toy)

75. Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

submissive

76. Have you ever masturbated to someone?

yes 

77. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn't there when you needed them?

yes

78. Have you ever had a one night stand

technically?? it wasn’t supposed to be a one night stand in the technical sense, but we ended up only having sex once 

79. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

yes, i’ve had two. one of them was barely beneficial at all, one of them was a lot better, and maaaaybe still beneficial?? but i don’t really think he’s into it anymore

80. Have you ever had sex with someone who wasnt your partner?

in the cheating sense, no, but i’ve had sex with people i wasn’t dating (while i was single otherwise)

81. Has any of your partners had sex with someone else?

also in the cheating sense, no. all of them have had sex with people other than me though, i’ve never been someone’s first 

82. Have you ever gotten pregnant? Were they your lover's or someone else's?

no thank GOD 

83. Birth control or condoms?

birth control 

84. Do you ever masturbate to porn?

yes

85. Does anyone know you masturbate? Did you have to tell them?

yes, i think all my friends know just bc we talk about all sexual shit

86. Did your parents ever find out you were sexually active?

my mom knows i lost my virginity to my ex, but she has no idea i’m still technically active

87. Do you have any STDs?

no 

88. Have you ever masturbated to a fictonal character or celebrity?

no

89. Have you ever had sex during "7 minutes in heaven"?

no i’ve never done 7 minutes in heaven at all

90. Spit or swallow? Or do you not like oral?

swallooooooow

91. Have you ever been rejected for sex? Have you ever rejected someone else?

yes to both. i’ve been turned down by a former friend with benefits, and i’ve never been specifically propositioned for sex and turned them down, but i’ve turned down guys i know were interested in me

92. Do you have someone who said they are willing to take away your virginity if you havent lost it by a set age or if you just want to have a good time?

lmao i did before i lost it. i didn’t want to have sex with them, but they always said they’d be happy to take it for me by a certain age. i just wanna have a good time fam

93. Have you ever experiented with the opposite sex?

yes

94. When you first lost your virginity, was it intended or spontanious?

kind of both?? i’d been dating my bf at the time for a little over a month, and it was known we both wanted to have sex, and he knew i was a virgin so he wanted to wait til he was sure i’d be okay. we kind of vaguel talked about it happening this one weekend, but then the night i thought we would do it, we didn’t because it felt too weirdly planned out. we ended up spontaneously having sex two days later

95. Has anyone ever walked in when you were taking a shower with someone?

no

96. Did you ever tell someone once you lost your virginity?

yes i told so many people lmao. i think the first person i told was clayton, bc i always told him i’d text him immediately after. so like 40 minutes after i texted him like GUESS WHAT I JUST DID

97. Does your lover know if you have masturbated?

i assume they’ve all assumed 

98. Does your lover know that you want to have sex with them but can't?

i don’t really have a lover. i saw the last boy i had sex with on new year’s eve, and i would sleep with him again if he wanted, but i’m not sure if he realizes that/is interested 

99. Do you like masturbation?

of course

100. (Asker's ask) If i were to ask you if we could have sex, would you say yes?

well i asked myself so B))))))

[oquinn53]

Hey, I need to talk to you about the atempted rape scene in episode 5 bc I've seen absolutely no discussion about it, no one is outraged. I'm so fucked up since I watched it. Clary was imprisoned to be raped by a demon. The way they cut the scene several times to keep it exciting was so indelicate and hurtful. I thought the writers claimed to be respectful towards everybody, however they use the fear of rape as a means to achieve suspense? Whoever came up with this plot is disgusting. (1)

(2) as my friend, who had to leave the room during that scene, pointed out: that plot element legitimates Clary being raped for as long as the oath with Iris isn't terminated. She brought herself in a situation where rape is justified. It's her fault if she gets raped bc she's naive - that's the message. That's degrading. And why was no one, neither her nor Jace, in any way upset about how close she was to being raped? Why wasn't the horror of the situation, of Iris' plan, adressed?(3) As a viewer I was being forced through horrible emotions and then left alone - no expression of my feelings through Clary (who acted like it was nothing), no consolation from the others (who assumed a "you ok?" was enough in that fucked up situation). I accuse the writers of playing with real life concepts they don't understand. I'm 24, no rape survivor thank God, and I know about the importance of Clary discovering that rune so I think my judgement is objective. Please share your thoughts.Answer: oof. Okay, here it is: I have been nearly raped multiple times (luckily no successes) and sexually harassed more times than... just. A lot. When it happened each time, my PERSONAL reaction was to find a way to get out, whatever the way may be. I did. It all hit LATER. It hit me in the middle of the night. Sometimes days later. In one case, years later, because of how I dealt with it. I'm going to go ahead and say EVERYONE deals with that sort of thing differently.I was not triggered by this episode.Why? Because I've witnessed how Clary has dealt with people and demons trying to kill her and her instincts against it. I've seen her change from being scared to being a fighter. And she used what she was taught and, let's be honest, Iris was a fucking idiot to put a shadowhunters in with a demon that honestly had a lot of issues and wasn't presented as physically powerful. So, I won't excuse Shadowhunters for that. Alec was actually the one that showed the most fear and worry for Clary the whole episode and he knew she wouldn't be killed. He actually took it for what it was - the horror of it - and went looking for her in a not so calm way. But the situation, presentation, and logistics of it was really weak in writing. The sensitivity to it was not expressed, but I guess I wasn't triggered because I knew the demon was weak and Clary knew how to defend herself from something like that. But not everyone could have done that. I keep thinking of The Magicians and how they handled the actual rape scene, but the power difference was the exact opposite. So in summary, it should have been treated more delicately but Clary had a clear power over the demon, which made it so I wasn't actually scared. If they wanted to make it seem like her being taped was an actual possibility, they wouldn't have made the demon so weak in presentation. Which might have been a fault, but also made it less distressing for me. But it made the whole plot weak because Iris because stupid, in that sense.Should they have made it suspenseful? I honestly can't tell you. Kill scenes have been made suspenseful in the same way. Comparing them is a touchy thing, though. But either way, she was fighting for her life, I knew she would survive, so honestly... it was just boring for me. Boring, for ME, someone who has been almost raped multiple times. But I'm not everyone and they should have considered rape survivors maybe a little more. BUT maybe that's why they made the demon so weak. I mean, Iris didn't even take Clary's stele. It was just "villain makes stupid mistakes and doesn't think things through" type of plot.But this is all just my view and my opinion and everyone had a different reaction. ....But it was a weak plot either way. A weak way to introduce how warlocks are made - which is ALWAYS through rape. Or most of the time, I guess. And I liked the idea of presenting it through the... conception... but not like that. I know I keep saying it, but it was so weak. I think rape needs to be talked about more. I think the context has to be right. I think the fact Magnus mentioned his mother's suicide is important because his cat eyes not only meant that he was part demon, but that it meant she had been raped and he was the result of it. I think they could have... taken it more seriously. And that is what bothered me the most.But I wasn't disgusted personally.I'm willing to talk about this more so if anything I said was offensive or seeming to not be understandable, ask me about it! Talk to me. That's okay. I've just gone off a lot so I'll just cap it here for now.