#she gets more used to holding things
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Punishing Bird has taken a liking to you. perhaps it's because of how you never brush away its pecking, perhaps it's due to you giving it seeds when it ventures down to Extraction- either way, it seems to enjoy your presence, making a beeline for the lower part of the facility whenever it breaches to simply sit on your shoulder and give you the occasional peck. your shoulders have small gouge scars now, but you endure it so the Bird won't disturb any other agents during its breach, nor do you mind the company, so Punishing Bird simply stays.
Binah is a little perplexed when she sees you with the Bird on your shoulder or in your hands, carrying it around casually as you go about your day. Punishing Bird has even begun allowing you to simply bring it back to its containment cell to end its breach, although often you don't find time until the end of the day, when your coworkers have retired for the night. Binah approaches you one of those evenings, holding a roll of gauze for you to patch up the bleeding pecks in your skin. you're holding Punishing Bird in your hands, and feel Binah's stare from across the room as you look up. without even thinking you ask if she'd like to hold the small Abnormality, and for a second you see a flash of surprise cross the Sephirah's expression. but slowly, she holds out her hands, and you place the Bird in her open palms.
Binah stares.
you stare.
Punishing Bird stares.
then it settles into her hands, feathers ruffling, and you and Binah merely watch. her fingers twitch, trying not to squeeze too tightly, and after a moment she reaches out and places the Bird back on your shoulder. she takes your own hand instead, her touch unusually light and delicate, and you blink in surprise.
"I much prefer this, if I must hold anything." is all she says, calmly, and you give her a soft smile.
#project moon#lobotomy corporation#library of ruina#binah#binah lobcorp#binah library of ruina#let binah hold a bird#if you two ever eventually get out of the library after lobcop you're becoming friends with the crows and ravens#that's just the rules#she gets more used to holding things#normally your hand or you as a whole#she's not used to holding instead of crushing#so she's extremely gentle with you
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Who's the "real" me?
+ some references for the Rise-related things I included <3
#im reaaaally happy with this one hehe i had fun putting the stuff from different things shes had/worn#i feel like ppl overlook the massive identity crisis & the accompanying depression & internal conflict rise is going through during the gam#like shes trying to figure out who she is seperate from her idol image (which she constantly still clings to despite her insistance that sh#s done with it bc she does still crave that recognition and attention she got from that position. she literally breaks down crying when her#manager tells her kanami has taken her acting role and is more-or-less set to take her spot now)#and then she also struggles with finding what she wants to do with herself now that she doesnt have showbiz to worry about#i think she kinda unintentionally uses the investigation as an anchor for her to hold onto#something to keep her busy in the absence of the hustling idol life#and then she also like. again she keeps clinging to the idol image and the associated bubbly-ness and bold flirtation#because thats the ''her'' ppl liked#i dont think the way she acts during the game is ENTIRELY an act theres definitely a lot of her true self in it too#but she does have a lot of moments where she leans more heavily into the bubbly & flirty cutie act#her sl shows that for all that she wanted to retire from showbiz she isnt really ready just yet#bc she did actually enjoy being an idol. she did enjoy being able to reach out to people in this way & to finally have ppl like & accept he#the problem is she doesnt know who ''she'' is at this point#im rambling but u get my point. yeah. yeah#rise..............#rise kujikawa#persona#persona 4#p4#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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If nothing else Koenma is a Kuwabara stan and I'm right there with him o7 (I need to write the kuwameshi fic that goes with this fr)
#maybe one day i'll write that au i have sitting in my head#ever since the comment he made about making kuwa spirit detective instead ive been thinking about it#like...what if yusuke is still recruited same as canon but like#kuwa was already spirit detective? doing assignments for the guys upstairs and all#and they made yusuke help him after his resurrection instead of going solo#and it's hilarious because they still have the ''rivalry'' set in place so it's like#now i gotta be coworkers with this guy i was in a fist fight with last week?#yusuke is like you can't be serious you want me to fight DEMONS with the guy who cant even beat ME? lmaooo okay#kuwa would be more in tune with his powers atp in this au and super offended like hello#why would i use my reiki on a FELLOW HUMAN CHILD you DICK i can hold my own on my assignments just fine#but he's actually really excited to be able to spend time with yusuke doing something besides getting his ass handed to him#they're both genkai's students (she's endlessly annoyed but they grow on her)#i just think it'd be fun cos like#it'd be harder to exclude kazuma from shit if he's literally been involved in this shit before he even met#kurama and hiei#kuwabara isn't really told about yusuke's resurrection so things go mostly the same up til he's brought back#they're both called to koenma's office and it's the spiderman pointing meme 💀#it's koenma's first time seeing kuwa in person as he usually just sends assignments with botan#yusuke has already seen him cos of the resurrection arc#and koenma is SUCH a fanboy ''kuwabara it's such a pleasure. you know you're my best worker 🥺''#''um urameshi am i seeing things or is that a fuckin baby'' yusuke will NOT stop laughing#it fucks koenma up so bad he makes sure he's in his adult form when he's around kuwa next#cos he wants to be the respected boss but also guy that you can chill with!! he's so cringe#okay yeah i need to write this it's such a fun concept#kuwameshi#yu yu hakusho#kuwabara kazuma#yusuke urameshi#koenma
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i fear the ending of agatha all along is once again making people confuse “i didn’t like the ending/the ending made me sad” with “that was bad writing”
#like don’t get me wrong there are other things i wish we’d gotten (rio and agatha’s backstory and agatha getting the dark hold for instance)#but the finale made perfect sense. and like yes i understand bury your gays is never fun#but sometimes gays just die. mainly when they’re in love with DEATH like cmon#and she’s a ghost so she’s barely even dead#like y’all are out here making me defend MARVEL and their writing can we please not#agatha all along is genuinely one the best things marvel has put out in a long time - start to finish#and the writing is good - ESPECIALLY in the last two eps. sorry!#like i saw some people saying ‘oh they did used the whole show to tell us she wasn’t evil and then erased it in three seconds’#like babe if you genuinely think that i’m afraid you’re lacking media literacy#agatha IS evil they’ve never tried to deny that#there’s just also more to her than that and that’s what the show has been about#how she is misunderstood and also does a lot of bad things. two things can be true#agatha all along
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so as literally everyone following me in the past 24 hours knows, im fucking obsessed with her. take her shes everything i have
#undertale yellow#martlet#martlet undertale yellow#martlet uty#?????????#tagging is hard and terrible#should i tag ut?????????#ehhh nah#i shant#whoop#my art#martlet my beloved love of my life i want to kiss you#(words said by worlds most aroace person)#... i should get better at drawing the prosthetics 😭#anyways uhhhhh yea i found out what a martlet actually is so she uses prosthetics now👍#i like to think the boots and stuff is a diff set of prosthetics for when shes just building or chilling#these ones come out when she has guard duty/needs to run around/lots of movement#also idk i might just make her shirtless??? idk which design i like more just yet so eh#ill figure it out next time#so much grief was caused in the making of her wings#GIRL HOW DO YOU HOLD THINGS 😭😭😭😭#ARENT YOUR ARMS WINGS#but yeah. harpy potentially shirtless prosthetic user martlet👍#the world gave me a new blorbo and by god will i dump every headcanon conceivable onto her
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reread tiphs dialog recently. i love them lots
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobcorp spoilers#i cant help it. the boxes....#i never know what to tag as spoilers and what not to. so just to be safe#tiphereth#tiphereth lobcorp#chesed#chesed lobcorp#do i do all of them..? some of them are smaller. ahh itll be okay i hope..#netzach#netzach lobcorp#ill stop there. there is gebura yesod and malkuth but its just one drawing for both#just general thoughts of mimicking others and trying to potray what maturity is. the dialog from story 1 when you meet them i think abt tip#talking abt being stern stoic and strict. then netz talking abt yesod and the two behaving similar like that#just thought some others would be cute. trying to get used to how id draw her. ah the gebura tiph one was a loose idea in gebs story to#where the two talk and tiph advises against asking to much and to hold onto that hate iirc. been a bit. then the idea of her able to replac#parts. then the degradation of the soul after being destroyed. maybe tiph might check up on her or peek in to see how shes doing considerin#the idea to hold onto hate was advice She gave. iirc. anyways the concept of having black coffee to look cool and grown#they put the shortest next to the tallets in the same layer. had another idea to have the two tiphs stack atop one another to be as tall as#chesed and gebs but i got too tired. its a cute idea though might do it later. another thing i wanted to do later on was pertaining to#singing a song of homeland and lisa stating she wanted to dance. that and the backdrop from c comand being a giant stage. preformance arts#malkuth is there because the three all do a command team. lots is stuff and responsibility. feel like tiph would have beef w her . also an#iirc moment i recall something abiut the two teams havinf a rivalry or competition of sorts? kind of funny what beef u got w some kids bro#more likely pertaining to the agents inside of the teams itself to be honest. i think id be cute is malkuth would give some help tips thoug
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just watched the borderlands movie and the only good part was that krieg’s little harness thingo lowkey looked like a very skimpy little bra thing sometimes
he needs some back support with those jugs ofc
#it wasn’t AS bad as I thought it would be#but it was not good#at all#idk why they changed so much of the story and just like Made It Worse#why did they make Tina’s dad head of atlas? why not just keep her parents killed off? why did they mischaracterise her so badly?#why was she annoying? why was she an experiment? why not use a more compelling villain than Guy Who Looks And Acts As Bland As Possible#the villain was simply. no good#I wish they used jack 😔#I also wish they didn’t do the Lilith’s mum subplot bc it was a little off??? somehow?#and Tannis and Lilith’s relationship wasn’t particularly fulfilling#claptrap was even more annoying#the jokes weren’t funny#the sfx were NOT as bad as everyone said they were I’m sorry I thought they were fine aside from a few weird shots in some chase sequences#another thing I don’t get that much was ppl hating Lilith’s hair bc it’s doesn’t look like in the games#ppl compared the wig to wigs that cosplayers use that look rly accurate and good but#u have to take into account#that it’s rly hard to stylise a live action movie to look something like boarderlands and most cosplays are made to look good statically#things that look good in cosplay and in the game will not look good in a live action action sequences#like if u gave her a cosplay wig it would look great and accurate but it also would be completely rigged in the wind and would not move#like real hair#which would probably be incredibly jarring to see in a live action film especially with all the action#was the hair great? no. I still think it could’ve been vastly improved on while remaining realistic for a live action movie#but I think some people hold it to unrealistic standards in their criticisms or whatever#also costumes have to be actually movable and breathable bc REAL people are shooting REAL scenes and doing stunts and shit in them#but. yeah. the costumes could definitely have had some improvement#I think that if u wanted to make a borderlands film that was accurate to the design of the characters it would be easier to do it animated#and the writing?#we do not speak about the writing good lord#borderlands movie#borderlands
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ninjago seabound hurts. so much. what the fuck
#ninjago seabound#i think this might be the thing to get me drawing again#we shall see#also im very close to crying haha#she turned. into the sea. to save him#and like. the city and all their friends too but he was quite literally dying and the only answer was for her to become one with the sea an#and she#and he sees her after having the water taken out of his lungs. he sees her out the window and she sees him and they put their hands on#either side of the glass. and he doesn't yet know what she did. what it would cost#in the fight later. he sees her explode and takes on kalmaar with blind fury#and then she's back- as a dragon now- and she explodes again and comes back as a bigger dragon and#how can he think anything but good things? he knows what she did now but she's so strong. so invincible. ofc she'll overcome the odds#she'll keep herself together! she will. he has to believe that#and then she wins. and its all over. and everyone's saying they'll just have to get used to her watery body for now#until they find a way to turn her back.#she doesn't understand. she doesn't remember who she used to be. is actively losing the battle to retain her self#and they plead. all of her friends. her master. her Brother.#and him. Jay. her boyfriend.#and there's a moment. a single brief moment where she turns back.#she smiles and holds jay's hands. she caresses his cheek.#and just as quick as she came#she left. jay screaming her name as she dives back into the sea#and then the funeral. because what else do you call it but a funeral.#they call all of her friends and family. they pour seawater in an urn. they hold a service of sorts.#and i'd like to imagine each person feels responsible in some way. for not doing more. for not being as convincing to her.#some feel it more than others. Wu is- was her master. Kai her brother.#and Jay. Jay was her-#out of all of them Jay beat himself up the most. because what good is love if you can't convince them to stay?#woah sorry about that i was possessed by angst#also i feel like you could tie in Jay's abandonment issues with his birth parents here if that wasn't clear <3
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,,, sun-dappled sheets...
#the sapphics got to me okay. portrix real#it's so cute how they go from falling asleep tgt at the presses to having a room to share#adamandi#portia elizabeth harper#beatrix valeria campbell#it was a doodle and then i was like i want to make it softer so i painted it over and in the process rendered it somewhat#it's still quite sketchy akdhfj but u get the vibes!! ++ tried out using a Lot more noise than usual#so that's like the New Art Takeaway from doing this.#;;; i feel like every time i draw wlw fluff it's stepping back deep into my comfort zone haha but yes. soft cosy comfy etc.#my brain was not processing enough to figure out casual wear so this is kind of just the stripped down costumes akdhdjdh but yeah#bonus side note here is i was like hehe wouldn't it be fun if beatrix hand + portia ribbon. as like a nod to contrast how#previously it was strings on their hands instead. and now she cut them off bc portia and also smth smth about the difference#between tying (the strings) and choosing to hold (ribbon) and sjdhdhfhfh ue.#*incoherent noises* it's about the softness. the touching. the idea of choice- but less afraid of losing it- smth smth inherent trust also.#knowing tomorrow you'll still be there..#<- sorry there's a silly little conceptual thing in every adamandi thing i make i think#i would love to say this was For Adamandi Week but i do very badly with timed events so the truth is just. i woke up and saw#@/regret-repentir 's post (which is so so lovely actually) (credit where credit is due) and then spent the next 1.5h drawing portrix#the prompt was post graduation i think? but seeing as i didn't really respond to the prompt itself#it doesn't rly count in my head as a prompt response for the event. idk#it technically works. but also it feels like false advertising...#<blinks> fun times include this being the first time i've drawn adamandi characters entirely without reference. they have been blorbo-ified
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desperately want to write an essay about aromantic themes in my own fic but. that would require finishing and posting the fic if I wanted to make an ounce of sense to anyone
#posting the meta first would still be funny i won't lie#because i made a declaration i would post more aro taz headcanons soon#but what i really *want* is a springboard to use to talk about lup demiromanticism#and how it informs the immense value she places on platonic and/or familial bonds#while simultaneously contributing to subconscious insecurities she holds about how much people value her platonically#insecurities *so* subconscious; in fact; that they might not have ever reared their ugly heads#before she experienced most of her platonically loved ones literally *forgetting* her#and all the *abandonment* trauma - though not through her loved ones' faults at all - that that caused#ah fuck i'm literally committing the exact thing i said i might do which is posting the analysis first#i need to stop or i'll spoil the fic but soon. soon i swear i'm gonna get this one out there#(at least the first chapter which is most relevant to what i'm talking about. krav has mostly unrelated trauma in chapter 2)#rosalia talks#fic writing liveblog
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＼(_ _)
#im so upset ok literally no one cares but#my bedroom at home was getting kinda redone this summer#we repainted and added shelves above my desk and styff#so i displayed my album collections on the shelves it was so slay ok it was fire#and#today as i was adjusting things#the shelf with my skz collection just fucking rips out of the wall bro#like BROO?? there are holes in my wall now but idec bro MY ALBUMS???? l#it was so high up too im. they fell from a catastrophic height.#literally every single one of my skz albums falling to the floor which is like at least 50 or smth idek#no that sounds too high but you know. A LOT#i have from mixtape to rockstar not every singlr one but yeah#MY LIMITED ALBUMS?? THESR ARE EXPENSIVE HOLY#im taking a deep breath rn#actually looking from through my tears they didnt look Too beat up (except noeasy fuck that packaging) and except my stay in playground pho#photobook case CRACKEDDDD og my god. its judt the outer plastic case but i. am. so. sad#that is like $50 bro#anyway god#now we have to somehow fix it. we used these shelves before in my sisters room and they've held up great but she pretty much puts stuffed an#animals and thats it lol#did not account for my shitload of albums creating a ton of weight but well.#theyre supposed to hold 170 lbs are my albums rly more than that holy shit#ANYWAY#this litrtally happenrd 15 minutes ago thats why im venting rambling idk#now i have to sleep in my moms room AGAINN until these are fixed#like i love her but i like sleeping alone god pls#(i also primarily write at night and. well its not the easiest to write smut and stuff when ur mother is right next to u.)#GOD UGH. idk its fine but im#silver lining is it wasnt my loona collection bc not only are those rare ash i swear they dent from a strong gust of wind bro#I REACHED TAG LIMIT LMAO I DIDNT KNOW THAT WAS A THING BYE
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Repeated symbolism: Predatory cats and coniving mices (unsorted notes)
EP 10 Nanami's precious one; The shadow play showcasing how Nanami partly can't name and partly won't take repsonsibility for naming her relationship with Touga. By the time it has been given a cute description, their relationship has actually turned out monsterous. (Note: Touga likes cats, and is Akio's apprentice)
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Episode 14 Landscape framed by Kozue; Anthy imitating mouse noises while getting (routinely) assaulted by Akio.
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Episode 16 Cowbell of happiness; Shadowplay about the logical trap to think that cozying up to an oppressive power would make them the individual exception from systematic abuse. Applies to multiple chracters, in multiple forms.
#Revolutionary Girl Utena#RGU analysis#my personal theory is that Anthy uses the Black Rose duels to hold a debate with herself.#Meanwhile Utena misses so many answers from the shadow plays which often depict Anthy's/any dispossessed group's (at Ohtori) dilemma.#Utena gets actively discouraged from digging deeper into any questions she has#Akio gives her answers telling her that it's impossible to connect with people. (Like he would care about others...)#The Black Rose duels are all set up for Utena being confused yet going along with inflicting violence#and taking Anthy's sword without hesitation. Whereas before Utena was hesitant to duel in the first place.#The indoctrination of Utena to automatically do something she was vehemently opposed to before...#It is after episode 16 that Anthy begins to actively prompt Utena to consider things more critically.
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nothing gets me like a character with overt flower symbolism ESPECIALLY self-inflicted
#this post is about#lyney#choosing to use rainbow roses instead of lumi bells for his magic tricks from now on#bc he finds out lumis represent farewells. and rainbow roses represent passion. and he wants to hold onto his connection with#the main character who he's hopelessly gay for (either in the homosexual way or the bisexual way depending on the gender of mc)#but pla tag other characters and ocs and tell me their flower symbolism so i can be unwell about them too#snowswords#Genshin Impact#flower symbolism#i will tag my ocs now#onphora#gets daffodil bc ofc. they are lethal to everyone who isn't (found) family. even then they are stingy w trust/affection ...#tam#tammy#choses lilies bc she holds them at the funeral for a man she hated. flower of fuck you. flower of i do whatever i want especially now#flower of ... doing the right thing. i will mourn you but not bc you deserve it. alsooo lilies can be speckled (: like tam's freckles#elis#hmm i would give elis carnations. white ones w purple dye (: fun n cheap n accommodating n kinda tryhard flowers. but you love em for it <3#i should assign more flowers to more OCs. i'll add them as i come up w them#OH i assigned#relin#who belongs to#cosmic#magnolias. ancient plants (relin's lineage is important) that represent endurance. that man sure endures ...#OMG I FORGOT I ASSIGNED#senjuro#SUNFLOWERS BC HE IS A SUNFLOWER. HIS LOVE WOULD BE TOO MUCH! HE WAS LEFT IN THE DUST ... and bc he's a sunshiny kid. my poor boy ...
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happy birthday to me i celebrated by looking at my favourite sequence of images in the world and crying over it at half past midnight.
#im. 24 now.#appleyaps#gonna be honest with you guys idk where the fuck my life is heading atm.#but if this manga taught me anything its that i have to keep making choices in order to achieve my own happiness.#ive been making strides... im now exclusively using the men's toilets wherever i go.#and im working on getting a professional diagnosis so i can go on hrt... but the waiting lists are so long.#i took the transfer but now it turns out i still have to wait longer... even though i was promised help quickly.#i dont know how much longer i can take this though. being uncomfortable with myself. im sick of it. i just wanna live.#theres so many things id like to do. but my body and my voice are holding me back from it.#my mom and her boyfriend know now. but my mom doesnt understand and has never referred to me as a woman as much as she does now.#at least everyone at school uses he/him for me now. i was finally assertive about it in my new class#and everyone there calls me teddie. though i'd like people to use tom for me as well. my friends do.#i just need to be even more assertive from now on. im working on it. im doing my best. i wanna live.#at least i have lots to look forward too. thats whats keeping me going honestly. and my friends.#the hope that one day i get to look in the mirror and finally see myself. i want to believe that it can happen. i need it to happen.
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Recently bought the chickens a rat-proof feeder because the world's biggest pack of rats has moved in and I've had enough. Training the chickens to use it is going well, if slowly. (It would be a lot faster if I still lived with my chickens, or at least lived closer than 30 minutes away... 😅 I can't be there all the time to work with them.)
Midnight, however, refuses to engage with the thing and instead stands next to it looking cranky while she watches the young'uns eat.
#unfortunately the seller forgot to send me the part that makes the door close softly 🙄 he'll send it soon tho#it would definitely be easier to teach the chickens that this contraption is safe if it didn't slam closed#it would probably also be easier if they'd ever eaten out of a feeder of any sort ever in their lives 😅#midnight has been eating off the ground for 11 years and doesn't seem keen to eat out of some newfangled noisy tin can#but hopefully it'll get easier#if the chickens get hungry enough they'll eat out of anything i figure#anyway the star of these training sessions is definitely tofu. she's very shy so i didn't expect her to try it so quick but#apparently she'll do anything for bread scraps!#midnight#tofu#crow#oh yeah more quick notes#the front panel on the feeder is open in these photos bc i was still in the process of adjusting the spring tension#also I've since rearranged the bricks so it's easier for the chickens to stand in front of it#i reeeeally hope this works bc. you guys. the rats are SO bad#i was at the end of my rope i was seriously almost ready to simply get rid of all the chickens i was so stressed#things haven't been easy for me regarding all my animals i had to leave behind when i moved. i miss them every day#I'm also so not used to living in a house without a single animal. I've always had pets around til now#i want a cat but I'm holding out hope that i can convince my parents to give me MY cat. my dad refused to let me take her#and I'm worried about her. she needs more specialized care and she will never receive it in that house#sigh anyway. i have a lot on my mind
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But Daddy I Love Him one of her most powerful songs of all time.
#it’s. I love it so much. it’s doing SO MANY THINGS first of all#all of them true#but one of the things it’s doing and the reason I love it#is that it’s taking its warning shot at the common people#she’s like ‘I may be your voice but I am not one of you’#it’s the flip side of who’s afraid of little old me#she’s like and you SHOULD be scared.#it’s the anger and venom of someone who has been holding back out of restraint and politeness#but with a great effort and a very intentional use of manners#and this is her u n l e a s h i n g#this is her saying I see it all every single thing#and every single thing I see not only will I not heed but I will find it dead#it’s soooooo. I love to see it.#Taylor is so long-suffering in so many ways (guilty as sin do not interact at this exact moment lol)#way more than she gets credit for and so love to see those gates of restraint snap#it’s the opposite of a tehehehe song. it’s so deadly serious and powerful
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