#amphitrite: did you upset odysseus with anything?

[o3o-lapd-o3o]

okay here's part 6! this literally was not meant to be as long as it is, but i got carried away while doing some archery research... and here we are.

hope you guys enjoy! part 7 will be uploaded tomorrow!

(p.s if you're an archer/know archery and i get stuff wrong please don't yell at me, google can only give me so much info hdshdshdh)

the post/thread that started this whole au

dinner scene: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

there's a masterlist now!

*athena had left not long after midday, but not before saying she’d see them all later at dinner*

*telemachus, odysseus & penelope are all together in the palace gardens*

*penelope is sitting on a bench, with odysseus also laying on it & his head in her lap as they watch telemachus practice using a bow and arrow* 

telemachus: *trying to aim for the centre of the target in front of him*

telemachus: *struggling but wants to show his parents what his training with athena is doing for him*

telemachus: *lets the bowstring go*

*the arrow flies through the air, but misses the centre of the target completely and hits the edge of the target*

telemachus: *drops the arm holding his bow to his side and sighs in disappointment*

penelope: *looks at her son and then looks down at odysseus*

odysseus: *looks up from his son to meet penelope’s eyes*

*both seem to have a conversation through their eyes*

odysseus: *smiles and nods at penelope*

odysseus: *gets up from penelope’s lap and walks over to telemachus*

penelope: *smiles while watching odysseus head over to their son*

odysseus: don’t be disappointed son, go ahead and nock another arrow

telemachus: *does as his father says*

odysseus: now draw and anchor, as you normally would

telemachus: *again does what odysseus asks*

odysseus: *looks at his son’s pose* ah i see some of the problem

odysseus: *gently takes hold of telemachus’ drawn back elbow* 

odysseus: ok your elbow needs to be a bit higher, and just straighten your back a little…

telemachus: *follows odysseus’ instructions*

odysseus: *stepping back so he’s not in the way* that's perfect! now breathe in as you would, but not to the point it hurts! 

odysseus: and then as you go to let the string go breathe out but not all the way, about only half way

telemachus: *breathes in as he aims for the centre of the target again*

telemachus: *steadily breathes out and releases the string*

*the arrow flies through the air again… and hits just slightly off the centre of of the target*

telemachus: *looks at the target in disbelief but in also joy*

odysseus: *cheers in happiness for his son* you did it!

penelope: *clapping and calling out to her son* well done telemachus! 

telemachus: *drops his bow and turns to his father*

telemachus: *gives odysseus a hug* thank you father!

odysseus: *hugging his son back* no need to thank me, i’m happy to be able to help teach you!

telemachus: *lets odysseus go while smiling*

odysseus: *looks down at telemachus’ bow then picks up it up and grabs an arrow*

odysseus: *nocks it with ease and shoots it in the blink of an eye*

*the arrow hits the dead centre of the target* 

odysseus: *turns and hands the bow back to telemachus*

odysseus: now, how about you keep practising? once you have this completely down i’ll teach you other things you can do with a bow

odysseus: *hand under his chin in thought* i’ll have to get an archer’s ring commissioned for you

telemachus: *stares at his father in shock at how easy he made that look* i didn't know you knew so much about archery- i mean…

telemachus: *thinks back to when odysseus shot an arrow through 12 axe heads*

penelope: *giggles to herself as she realises even their son doesn’t know about his father’s mastery & skill with a bow*

odysseus: *looks over at penelope, and then he understands just why she's giggling*

odysseus: *now looks at telemachus with an amused expression*

telemachus: *sees his father’s expression*

telemachus: *holds his hands (with the bow still in one of them) up hoping he hasn’t offended his father*

telemachus: not saying you didn’t know how to use one! 

telemachus: i thought you just knew the basics and that ‘trick’ you did to prove yourself, was originally just to impress mother?

telemachus: *puts his arms down and then looks down towards his father’s hands* besides, that ring you wear on your thumb is just a normal one like the other’s you wear isn’t it? 

telemachus: it certainly doesn’t look like any archer ring i've seen before at the markets…

odysseus: *laughs to himself and holds up his hand* oh this? you’re right it doesn’t look like an archer ring.

odysseus: *rubs his thumb along his index finger* that's because it isn’t a normal one

telemachus: *looks again at his father’s ring to see it now has a point to it like any standard archer ring*

telemachus: *looks up at odysseus’ face, then back down to his hand and then back up to his face again* 

telemachus: but- you- it- hOW?

odysseus: *rubs his thumb against his index finger again and the ring is back to looking like any standard ring* 

odysseus: *looks from telemachus to penelope* ask your mother, it was a gift from her

telemachus: *immediately swivels to face her*

penelope: well, as you’ve now found out…your father isn't one to let people know he’s a skilled archer, so i ‘commissioned’ an archer ring to be made for him that could hide as a normal ring when not needed. 

telemachus: wow! the jeweller who made this certainly is skilled then

penelope: *thinks back to asking athena if she could try to get hephaestus to make one*

penelope: yeah skilled indeed 

telemachus: *turns back to odysseus* so why didn’t you want people to know? about your skills as an archer i mean.

odysseus: sometimes it's best to not reveal all your strengths

odysseus: *grins while shrugging* keeping people guessing is also fun

odysseus: *walks to telemachus and ruffles his hair* anyway, back to practising! i’m going to head back over to your mother, but call me if you want me to assist with anything ok?

telemachus: ok!

*time passes as telemachus keeps on practising, odysseus is back to laying in penelope’s lap while she caresses his hair*

*odysseus wants to keep watching his son but is struggling to not fall asleep from penelope's motions*

*telemachus notices so decides to discuss some final dinner plans with his mother*

telemachus: so the cooks have everything they need for tonight, right? are you sure you don’t need me to quickly run down to the market for anything? 

penelope: *smiles reassuringly at telemachus* they do, and if on the off chance they don’t i'm sure one of them will go to the market themselves. no need to worry yourself my son.

telemachus: *nods while getting another arrow ready* 

telemachus: *starts pulling the string back when he has another thought*

telemachus: oh what about the seating plan? i should probably tell fathe-

penelope: *who knows about athena’s seating plan, and also knows that odysseus doesn’t (hey she wants to have some fun too ok?)*

penelope: *forgetting about her husband peacefully half-asleep in her lap*

penelope: *jumping up from the bench* NO-

telemachus: *not expecting his mother’s outburst*

telemachus: *lets the string go accidentally and also having lost his aim*

odysseus: *falls off penelope’s lap and the bench with a startled yelp*

*meanwhile the loose arrow now wizzes straight past the target, through the garden trees and over the palace cliffs, heading into what looks to be its final destination of…. the sea*

telemachus: *turns to face his parents* mother, are you ok? why did you yell no?

penelope: oh um… i’m sorry for shouting telemachus 

penelope: what i meant to say was, there's no need to spoil anything. we’ll keep it as a surprise!

telemachus: uh ok…

odysseus: *face down on the ground and groaning from the sudden series of events*

odysseus: *pushes himself up and looks at his wife*

odysseus: penelope why?

penelope: *laughs a little at odysseus’ rumpled state* 

penelope: *helps him up* 

penelope: i’m sorry my love *kisses him on the cheek*

odysseus: *smiles at the kiss and then brushes his clothing free of dust*

odysseus: what were you two talking about anyway?

telemachus: uhh-

penelope: -the final bits for dinner! speaking of which, we should all go and start getting ready!

penelope: *points at the sun starting to set* helios is not long from being done for the day, and i'm sure when selene takes to the skies, our dinner guests won't be long!

penelope: *starts to head inside* come along you two!

telemachus: *to odysseus* what about the archery equipment?

odysseus: *shrugs* we’ll deal with it later

*telemachus & odysseus follow penelope back into the palace*

[notsunbeam]

UNLUCKY EVENT OF HADES

 When Zeus acquired his mate Hera and Poseidon got his wife Amphitrite, Hades got very upset about the situation. He was mentioned as “loner” in Erebos, the Underworld, and the last thing Hades dreamed was to be the lamest of all deities in the Pantheon. Because he was given the entitlement of the Underworld, the realm of death, he had no chance to leave the realm and go out to socialize with people of the Earth. He asked his brother Zeus, god of thunder and god of gods, to kindly find him a wife to reside in peace in Erebos. Zeus thought that his brother was right about his complaints, he decided to present his daughter Persephone, the daughter of Zeus and Demeter both, as bride to Hades. The problem is that Zeus got into this decision secretly, even Persephone was not aware of it. The reason behind this secrecy is if Zeus would ask Demeter and Persephone about the marriage, both of them would be angry and kick the hell out of his butt. Although, Zeus had the priority over the decision, so he had it immediately and in secrecy.

One thing Zeus forgot about was that the walls have ears. When he was thinking out loud in his chamber, Demeter heard everything about the plan, which is Zeus will turn into a leopard and kidnap Persephone, then drag him down to the gates of Erebos to present her to Hades, as pre-determined with Hades. However, the honeymoon package did not go well as decided. Demeter came up with an insidious plan and stepped up to it. First, she found a young, pale boy which his skin looked like Persephone. She gave him a pair of breasts and a long hair exactly like Persephone’s. Afterwards, she called Persephone to her chamber up in the Pantheon and hid her well in her bedroom, because it is rude to enter a lady’s sleeping room, and no one will ever look up to there to search for Persephone. Demeter hid her well and found a spot to observe what will happen when Zeus arrived.

Everything went well accordingly as Zeus planned, and Demeter planned. He kidnapped “so called” Persephone and dragged “her” to the gates of Erebos. There had been waiting impatiently Hades, he was going to make an end to his miserable loneliness. When Zeus the leopard arrived, he was so excited and nervous, that he accidently broke one of the pillars which holds the gates of Erebos, while leaning to it, he wanted to make a charismatic impression to the bride-to-be. Zeus introduced the bride to Hades and wished him a happy marriage and a forever pleasure time together. Hades thanked Zeus and extended him a bag of Stafylinos herbs, which is a strong aphrodisiac, and told him that he will eventually need them in the future quests of him. Zeus reacted happily to the gift given to him. Waved him farewell and left. When Hades got left alone with Persephone, he invited her to go on a sightseeing in the Underworld and then they can do very exciting things in their new bedroom. Persephone was silent while all of these, because Demeter made a spell on him to remain in silence until in he suffers a big pain. After sightseeing, Hades invited her to the bedroom in rush, he has waited for this moment for so long. He thought that the bride was so shy and silent, so he decided to shut the lights of the bedroom and get themselves naked. When he penetrated the bride sexually, a big, roaring “AAAAH” trembled the room violently. Hades was going to think that the bride was so afraid to have sex, but wait, the scream was shouted shockingly in a deep tone. So deep that it belonged a man. When the lights were on, Hades saw the most shocking and traumatic scene he will ever see in his deity life. This bride was a man with huge breasts and a huge penis. And there was a tattoo on his belly, wrote “from Demeter with love. By the way, his name is not Persephone, he/she is called Hermaphrophone from now on”. Hades got into a rage, he got very mad and broke the whole “honeymoon” building down. He screamed with frenzy, destroyed every building and servant that got into his way. Then there came his ironclad oath; “Zeus, you jealous bastard! You fed grudge to my happiness and now I owe grudge to you and all the things living above the ground. I forbid Underworld, Erebos to you and all! I, Hades, announce that from now on Erebos is closed to the end of time!”. There closed Erebos with the words of Hades, and Cerberus, the beast that kills anyone dared to go out of Erebos, now turned their three faces to the gates, and now assigned to kill anyone stupid enough to dare to enter Erebos. Hades commanded, river Styx, Lethe and Acheron stopped flowing, he commanded, Charon retired, sailed no more. And he finally let all the doors of the Death be closed.

After this event, Demeter and Persephone was satisfied because they did not hear anything bad from Hades (because when Hades screamed, the place was so far from the ground that no one could hear) and thought that he is happy with his shemale partner. Zeus was also very happy, he had his precious gift and ventured onto plans to take the virginity of many women as destined to him. But after a while, strange things started, people that are destined to die and fly to the underworld, their souls were still staying on earth. Earth was getting crowded and crowded with restless souls. Those souls were so restless that they were giving trouble to people whom they had issues with. And now, the world, once a chaotic but beautiful place was now full of restless souls and disturbed mortals. People of earth started to complain that gods were responsible of this huge problem and the god of gods was the most. When Zeus heard about the issue, he did not know how to act first, then decided to approach Hades to ask what was going on but could not enter there, since Cerberus and other beasts were real determined to guard Erebos’ gates. Then he gathered the Pantheon, all the gods above met on the chamber of the divine place and discussed the situation. Demeter had to explained what happened to Hades and told gods about his oath, then added that she had no reasonable solution to the issue. The deities discussed for days and weeks and unfortunately, they did not come up with a solution that makes sense. And Zeus himself decided to go down again to the gates and yelled Hades; “Hades, my brother, I did not mean to betray you, everything happened out of my control. We still love you and count you as our beloved brother, please let people in!”. Hades did not respond. What Zeus heard was only wheezing sounds of Cerberus and the beasts.

But someone did hear the words of divine god. Ajax the Great, grandson of Zeus, he who committed suicide after getting in a clash with Odysseus to win the Divine Armor as prize. He committed suicide because he thought that as a hero, he humiliated himself in front of people who admired him. He was residing on one of the valleys of Erebos, because of his kinship with a deity, Hades excluded him from punishment. When he heard what Zeus said, he asked servants of underworld about the incident. He thought that it was the moment of his unlife, he could restore his pride and heroism by helping the people of earth, once they admired him as Ajax the Great. He started to think on a plan to deceive Hades, the punisher of all sinners, who knows everyone’s guilty deeds, he who punished all the deceivers. He told other dead heroes of underworld. Achilleus, Bellerophon, Theseus and many others gathered under the call of Ajax and started a riot on a huge valley of Erebos. They fought with many beasts and defeated many of them. Hades had to intervene to this unnecessary riot and went to the place to offer heroes a great feast which their legends were going to be told for days and many beautiful women were going to serve them during the feast. When Hades left his palace, Ajax sneaked into the building and searched for the keys of the gates. He investigated for hours but how he found the keys was very weird. When he sneaked into the bedroom of Hades, he looked everywhere and finally gave up searching. He was so sad and while facepalming himself, accidently lost his balance because of the doormat outside the room. There he saw the keys under the doormat. He grabbed them, immediately ran to the gates. There stood huge Cerberus, the eater of heroes, the devourer of human flesh. He tried to sneak behind it, but Cerberus had three heads, and of course, getting caught by one of the heads was inevitable. But there again happened weird scene, the head turned and told Ajax; “You can leave Ajax, no need to have a fear from me. I am assigned to eat who tries to go into Erebos, not those trying to go out. Just as I used to do the opposite, you got it?”. Ajax was shocked but did not hesitate to run outside. As a soul he flew so fast and found Zeus and delivered him the keys. But the problem was Cerberus would not let them enter the place. Ajax was with solutions again and told Zeus that if Herakles would help them, he could again beat Cerberus, which he did before. Zeus kissed Ajax from the forehead and told him that he was so blessed to have a grandson like him and he told him that people of earth will be reminded what Ajax had done for them. Ajax became so proud and happy and started to rest his soul after the events ended.

Herakles went to the gates with the keys in his hands. He approached to Cerberus and the beast said in pain “Oh, not again!”, and there they started to fight. Of course, the history repeats itself and again Herakles beat the beast. Cerberus laid down on the floor with the feeling of desperation of consecutive losses. Herakles opened the gates wide and called for the souls residing on earth to come inside Erebos. Restless souls flew immediately to the underworld and hug their beloved soil of Erebos, and found their peace.

After all, Hades went back to his chamber with sadness and with loneliness again, but this time punisher would have to be punished and Zeus arrived. He told Hades why he did not respond when he asked kindly to revert the things, now he had to punish his own brother. Zeus demoted Hades from the “Lord of the Underworld” status to the “Head of Public Relations of Erebos”. He instead promoted Asmodeus, the lord of the Nine Hells in charge. Asmodeus told Zeus; “I think it is a better decision, since I am better figure for many religions, but Hades is only for pagans. We can profit from Christians as well”.

This is the unusual myth of Hades which not everyone knows about.