#she drinks water constantly and barely eats much food

[cry4mina]

Jealousy

(Sana x fem!reader)

Word Count: 6.7k

Smut/Play angst/Fluff

Summary: You have a friend from college that is coming to visit and is very affectionate with you. Sana doesn't like that and retaliates before taking this "issue" into her own hands.

TW: THIS IS JUST FUCKING WITH A HINT OF BACK STORY. drinking, food, eating, sex, oral, strap ons, jealousy, degrading, top sanaaaaaaaaa, choking, hand cuffs, just a whole brain rot moment. Let me know if I missed anything.

AN: Hey hi hellooooo! (I BARELY PROOF READ THIS PLS FORGIVE) I feel so out of practice with writing! I had the brain rot and needed to do the thing. I hope you all enjoy this! Thank you to @ghostykapi for always helping me get plot points down like girl what would I do without you and for @psylocke142 and @sscieloz because the three of you constantly keep me sane while I'm losing it when brain does not work LMAO

Please enjoy and drink some water today! Ask are always open and feedback is always welcome! :)🖤

“You don’t need to be nervous, babe. She’s going to love you!” reassuring your wife sitting next to you in the booth of your favorite cafe.

Nayeon, your best friend from college/roommate at the time was in town and wanted to visit and catch up with you - and meet your wife, Sana. You couldn’t be more excited for them to finally make acquaintance after years of talking both of them up to each other.

“I know, I know but I just know how much she means to you and I want to make a good impression, you know?” puppy dog eyes looking up at you, melting you as always.

Sana looked stunning today, wearing a lavender cardigan and a white tank top underneath with some light washed oversized jeans paired with white sneakers. Her hair is long and framing her face so perfectly, with a lavender bow in her hair.

Looking so sweet and kind, glowing in her seat while making eye contact with you. You’re so in love with her, a masterpiece come to life - moving ethereally and making beautiful waves that crash happiness and warmth into the depths of your soul.

Submerging you completely into Minatozaki Sana.

“And you will, my love.” slipping your hand into hers, toying with the ring that was the product of the love built between the two of you.

“You’re sure?” looking down at your hands intertwined, watching as your hands fiddle with the gold band and then back up at your eyes that were filled with pure admiration.

“Never been more sure about anything.” beamed back at her.

It was true, asking her to marry you was the best decision you had ever made and you would do it a million times over, in every single life.

Sana’s cheeks flush red, bringing the hand that wasn’t intertwined with yours under the table up to cover her own smile, sheepishly trying to not get flustered with the way you still flirted with her, even after years of being together.

“Hello! My name is Michael. Can I start you off with some drinks?” the waiter must have snuck up to the table while you were wrapped in each other.

“I’ll have a sweet tea, please.” looking over to Sana who is still trying to compose herself.

“And she will have a hot green tea with honey, thank you.”

“Ma’am?” looking over to Sana.

The waiter seems to be completely ignoring what you said your wife wants…Cocking your head and furrowing your brows, you tilt your head up to look at him.

“I’d like what she said I wanted, thanks.” confusion laces her voice as the waiter sighs with a smile at the sound of her voice and walks to gather your drinks.

“What the fuck is that about?” back tensing in anger, staring daggers at the man who just flirted with your wife.

“You’re cute when you’re angry.” a cold finger catches your chin and leads you to look right into her eyes, inching her face closer and closer to you.

“Nothing to worry about, baby.” voice squeaking with pure happiness at your jealousy as she places her lips on yours, sending you into a whirl wind.

“I’m all yours…forever, remember?” lifting her hand out of yours to flash you the ring and wink.

It takes everything in you to not sink to the floor, you never should’ve taught her how to wink. It’s going to be the death of you and you’re already so weak to her touch that a wink on top of it could send you into a spiral of thoughts of love, and some others that are lust driven.

“Y/n?!” shouted from the front of the cafe, the voice is familiar that can only mean one thing.

“Oop! There she is!” standing up to spot her.

Seeing her and trying to catch Nayeon’s attention and wave her to the table.

Nayeon was wearing a very small crop top, showing off her stomach, and a very small pair of shorts. Very revealing, which doesn’t surprise you. She was always comfortable in her s

“You’re late!” is how you decided to her her attention.

Squealing at the sight of you, you open your arms for Nayeon to practically tackle you to the floor.

“I missed you so much Y/nnie! Look at you! You’re glowing. Ugh I just know that Sana is taking SUCH good care of you. And this, is your color.” grabbing your face and kissing your cheeks obnoxiously with a loud smack to each side, before tugging on the royal blue sweater you were currently wearing and pointing down to the shoes that matched it.

“I miss you too, Nay! I promise you she is and thank you!” bringing her in for another tight hug before letting go, Nayeon’s hand trailed down your arm and stopped in your hand, linking your fingers together.

Head turning start your introductions to one another and you realize that you might’ve forgotten to tell Sana that Nayeon is very physically affectionate…and that it meant nothing…oops.

Your wife’s jaw is on the floor, eyes wide and you can see the annoyance simmering underneath the shocked expression on her face.

“Nayeon! This is my wife, Sana.” throwing the word “wife” in, hoping that it would calm Sana enough to get through lunch so you could explain yourself later.

Already knowing that this was going to be a big conversation tonight.

“Oh my goodness! You’re stunning!” Nayeon let go of your hand and brought them up to grab Sana’s, pulling her out of her chair.

“It’s so so so lovely to meet you! I’ve heard so many wonderful things!” Joyfully offered to your wife as Nayeon wrapped her arms around her.

“Likewise!” Sana’s voice is chipper but the glare she’s giving you from over Nayeon’s shoulder is the exact opposite.

“Shit.” stated under your breath, as Nayeon and Sana part ways to create more small talk between the two of them, everyone taking their seats to get brunch started.

Sana and you take your place on the side of the table you were already on, Nayeon sitting across from you in the booth as your wife and bestfriend slip from small talk into questions about each other.

Both of them seem comfortable, this is great.

A jealous Sana was sexy, the way anger flared behind her eyes never failed to get you wet, even though it was usually not the time for it. Not willing to let this become a situation of jealousy because it’s Nayeon…if it was a stranger, sure but you want these two to get along.

Maybe Sana would get to know Nayeon and realize that the affection wasn’t something that meant anything at all.

Maybe she’s already forgotten.

The waiter walks back over and places your drinks down on the table, only addressing Sana in the process.

“Here you are, Ma’am.” his hands are slightly shaky as he placed the drink down.

“Thank you, sweet heart.” winking at him seductively.

…she had not forgotten…

You were regretting teaching her to wink even more so, as watched as the waiter’s thoughts leave his mind, swearing you could see his heart beat in his neck.

“uh…uhm...N-no p-p-problem, m-ma’am.” tugging at his collar to relieve some of the pressure Sana just placed on him.

Nudging her with your elbow, the look you’re giving her sliced through all the tension of this and was now turning into something she saw as a game.

Pawn move, your turn.

Nayeon is taking all of this in, without interrupting the show unfolding, leaning back in her seat and cocking an eyebrow. Does she realize what’s actually happening here or does she think that Sana is insane?

“I’ll take an iced americano, thank you.” to the panicked man, giving him the exit he seemed to crave so desperately.

“Right away, ma’am!” rushing off behind the doors to the kitchen, you swear you can hear his sigh of relief when he steps out of sight.

“So how is Jeongyeon? How are things?” inquiring so you can distract for what she was witnessing.

“She’s great! She’s back home with Dahyun. They just opened a coffee shop so they’ve been busy bodies with that.” smiling in pride of what her wife and best friend were doing.

“No way! After all these years of wanting to? I’m so happy to hear they’ve finally done it!” returning the sentiment back to her with excitement.

“And Dahyun is still rooming with you both, I assume?”

“Our perfect third wheel!” both of you burst into a giggle, Sana watches how close the two of you are.

You can feel her energy shift into possessive and jealous, more tense by the second as you continue on with brunch.

Nayeon reaches her hand over the table to grab yours, genuinely smiling at you as she prepares to say something.

Sana is seething next to you and you can already tell what she’s going to do about it.

“It’s truly so great to see you, I’m so happy they called a meeting here so we could get together and I could meet Sana too!” the warmth and friendship radiating off the sentence went right over Sana’s head as she laid her hand on your thigh, digging her nails right into the denim of your black jeans.

The waiter, Michael, comes back over with Nayeon’s iced americano and places it on the table.

“Do you need some more time to look over the menu? Or have any questions?” the poor boy is shaken to his core, and it’s about to get so much worse.

“What’s your favorite thing on the menu, honey?” Sana says without looking up at him.

“Oh, you know I love the ba-” you start.

“Not you.” putting her hand up to halt you, mid sentence.

“Michael.” looking up at him with those puppy dog eyes and a smile.

You swear you can physically see his knees turn to jelly.

“Uhm…well I r-really like the pancakes, ma’am.”

Rolling your eyes in disbelief, you wait for her response, making eye contact with Nayeon and communicating with her silently as all of this transpired.

“Pancakes it is then.” putting on her sweetest voice possible before handing him the menu and intentionally touching his hand.

“Wow, your hands are so strong…” caressing the top of one of them before pulling back.

“I wonder how useful those could be…”

“Sana! Enough!” the rage set in with you snapping at her, she had pushed this too far and she knows it.

“Oh, come on. It’s all in good fun, right?” kissing your cheek and then winking at him again.

“Right, Sweet heart?” referring to Michael again.

Staring at her in disbelief, your jaw tightens as you look back at Nayeon who is holding in her laughter, flushing red from the suppression.

“And no laughing out of you!” pointing to her across the table, her arms shoot up to claim her innocence.

“I’m just here to visit a friend! I swear!” chuckling through the sentence and bringing an ease to the table.

“A friend…right…” Sana seems to not believe but laughs along anyway.

Nayeon managed to cut the tension like she always did with a silly moment and for that you were grateful.

—

Over the course of this brunch, you had lovely conversations that everyone was involved in. Nayeon and Sana got along really well, despite the introduction, enjoying a lot of the same things and having lengthy conversations about many different topics.

“How long are you in town for?” Sana asked before taking a sip of her drink.

“I fly home tomorrow night, unfortunately.” sighing and knowing that the visit would be short lived.

“That’s too soon.” quipped back with a frown.

A sudden sparkle behind her eyes and the twitch of her brow shows you that she’s up to something.

“Where are you staying?” expeditiously inquired through a new tone of excitement.

“Well, this trip was very last minute so I’m hoping I can get a hotel down town by the airport. If anything, I can just sleep in the rental car and head to the airport tomorrow afternoon.”

“Nonsense! You’ll stay with us!” This surprised both you and Nayeon.

Sana offering Nayeon to stay at your home was a very big deal. You both really liked your privacy and for her to extend that invitation was...not like her.

“I wouldn’t want to impose!” Nayeon is dismissive of the thought, looking over to you for some hint that this would be okay.

Nodding to her very softly, you agree.

“I insist, Nayeon! I can’t have my wife’s best friend sleeping in discomfort when we have a perfectly good guest room for you to stay in.” Sana’s hand reaches out over the table to grab Nayeon’s, reassuring her that all was well.

“Alright, I’ll stay.”

“Great! I’ll get the check.”

The waiter must’ve been listening as he was immediately when he heard Sana wanted something. Nayeon let out a belly laugh when she saw how quickly he was present, and you rolled your eyes.

Reaching out to hold your hand, Nayeon decides to move a pawn on the gameboard.

“Y/nnie, did you ever tell Sana about what we used to do?” the flirtatious tone perks up Sana’s ears, the scowl on her face already gently forming around her squinted eyes.

“Nayeon, what are you talking about?” trying to brush off what Nayeon was hinting at so Sana wouldn’t get upset.

“What did you guys used to do?” attempting to keep cool about the new information that just dropped onto the table like an anvil.

“If Y/nnie doesn’t remember, I don’t think I should say, besides…I don’t know if you’d be too excited about hearing it anyways. Just a very fond memory to live in my mind then.”

Nayeon winks at Sana and then stands up.

“See you at your house!” swiftly walking out of the cafe.

—

The walk to the car was silent.

Only the sounds of your shoes against the concrete.

Walking around to the passenger seat, you open the door for Sana and wait for her to get inside. She’s just standing by the car and clenching her jaw, you can see the muscles flexing causing you to swallow harshly - nerves tingling as you walk around to the driver’s side door.

Sana suddenly slams the door closed without getting inside before promptly opening it again, for herself, and gets into her seat, closing the door behind her.

Blinking a few times at how petty that actually was, you slip into the drivers seat and start the car.

The first 5 minutes of driving are just as quiet as the walk to the car, Sana’s stewing in her jealousy next to you and you’re just waiting for her to say something.

Slowing down and stopping at a red light, you look at the road in front of you until you feel her eyes burning a hole into the side of your face.

“What did you guys used to do?” sneered at you in disgust.

“We used to smoke weed and sit on a couch, babe. A few concerts, a couple parties but nothing that warrants this reaction.” trying to reassure her that there was no threat from Nayeon.

“Sounds like there might be more. Tell me.” her stern tone rattles you to your core…causing that flash of heat under your skin that screams in desire.

“I mean we hooked up once a long long time ago. But it was one time, and it never happened again.”

“You WHAT!?”

Uh oh.

“You guys had sex?!”

“Baby, we were 18 and young. Probably drunk. It only happened one time. I didn’t think it was that important.” trying to explain but she did not want to hear it.

At. All.

“No wonders she’s so fucking affectionate with you! She probably still wants to fuck you. What the fuck, why wouldn’t you tell me this?!” through clenched teeth and she crosses her arms and shifts away from you.

“Sana, it meant nothing then and it means even less now. I love you. I want to be with you. This was a long time ago, okay?”

Silence.

“Sana.”

More silence.

“Sana!” rising in volume to get her attention.

“Okay, fine. Whatever.” waving her hand at you, the weak signal that she would be fine about this.

“Sana, Nayeon is my best friend…okay? That’s all. You are my wife. I married YOU. Not her.” reassurance making it’s way to her as you try and defuse.

“I trust you. She’s your best friend…I’ll be on my best behavior.” rolling her eyes and sighing next to you.

A fight given up a little too easily…knowing her, she was planning something else.

This was going to be a long night, wasn’t it?

—

Dinner came and went as quickly as brunch did. Spending the night lounging around the house and watching movies with Nayeon and Sana was such a good way to spend the evening - despite the argument in the car earlier.

It seems like they’re getting along very well, giggling with each other and nonstop chatting. It seems Sana is getting comfortable and actually trying to get to know your best friend.

That warms your heart more than anything. She was really willing to put her jealousy aside for you…it’s impossible to not love her more and more every single day.

Nayeon and Sana decided they wanted to watch a movie, so you let them pick while you went and got some snacks from the kitchen.

Returning to find them on the couch whispering to each other, you decided to just sit on the other side of Sana and let them press play when they were ready.

They picked a weird comedy you had never heard of, you decided to just scroll through your phone while the movie played on.

—

Around 10pm, Sana stretched and yawned, leaning into your neck and sighing into you. Toying with the end of your shirt lightly and scooting closer to you.

“You getting sleepy, my love?” leaning your cheek against her forehead and wrapping your arms around her.

All she could do was nod her head softly and nuzzle into you further.

“Why don’t you go and get ready for bed? I’ll show Nayeon where she will be sleeping and meet you in there, okay?”

“Okay. Goodnight Nayeon. Thank you for today!” standing up, giving Nayeon a hug and sluggishly making her way to the bedroom you shared and closing the door behind her.

“She’s a tough one, huh? I never thought I’d see you go for someone jealous…especially with how jealous you get!” Nayeon nudged you as you both stood up and you made your way down the hall to the guest bedroom.

“I wouldn’t say though! She’s just not used to people being touchy with me. She likes a little jealousy…and I mean, you know I like possessive. Even if this round was a little intense. I’m really happy you both got to know each other better so we can do this more often” smiling at Nayeon.

“You both are a match made in heaven. I’m really happy for you, Y/nnie. She’s lovely. Good luck later!” booping your nose lightly and turning to go into the room.

“What does tha-…You know what, I dont want to know…goodnight.” dismissively waving your hand at her while closing the door shut. Her laugh can be heard from the other side of it.

Walking back to your own room, you can’t help but wonder what that meant…good luck? with what? Maybe it was just her trying to psych you out…

Trying to be quiet as you enter, you don’t see Sana on her side of the bed, assuming she’s still in the bathroom, you strip out of the clothes you spent your day in and changed into just a large T-shirt.

The bathroom door opens up softly while you’re bringing your clothes across the room to put in the laundry basket, not bothering to look up, you toss the clothes in the vessel and turn around to crawl into your side of the bed.

That’s when you finally register what is happening in front of you.

Sana has changed into her red, lacey night gown…the one that’s completely see through…the one she knows you can’t resist.

Trying not to drool at the sight of her and how sensual she is in her movements, the way her hips sway and the way she’s looking you up and down like you’re prey to her.

Taking a few steps closer to you, she watches as you stand there in total shock - ready to drop to your knees for her.

“I think I need to remind you what it means to be my wife.” sultry, sexy tone dripping off her tongue, melting through your brain - the ache for her very present between your legs.

“I think you need a reminder of who you belong to…” the sentence lingers in your mind as she makes her way over to you slowly.

Fuck.

She’s playing hard ball with you, wanting you to submit to her immediately…and you’re tempted. It’s hard not to be when she’s like this.

Usually so soft and sweet, but when that bedroom door closes, she’s in charge and you didn’t feel like giving her that power that easily, even if you knew you’d end up sore tomorrow.

“I need to be reminded? Ha! You must not remember what you did.” flipping the script on her, crossing your arms while you wait for your reply.

The devilish smirk translucently sits across her mouth for a moment, before dissolving seamlessly into the start of something that would haunt you all night long.

The game has begun.

“What I did?!” raising her voice at you and taking a defensive stance.

“After what YOU did with your little friend! And in front of me, no less!” Scoffing and crossing her arms at the memory.

Hesitating to say anything, you try and think of a how you want to navigate this. It’s obvious how this is going to end, considering the red lace that’s barely covering her body when the idea pops into your head.

Pawn moved.

“It’s cute when you’re like this” slowly walking up to her and placing your hands on her hips and leaning into her chest, lips mere inches apart.

“Whatever.” Arms still crossed under your chests pressed together as she fights to not wrap her arms around you.

“Awh come on, my jealous baby. You know it’s only you.” Trailing a finger up her side and watching as she swallows harshly, breath hitching as she mimics your movements.

As her hands glide up your sides, the tips of her fingers graze lightly over your skin and lift the over size shirt with them - revealing what was underneath.

Nothing.

Sana lets out a short laugh when she sees your bare ass, smacking it loudly and leaning forward into you with a hand slithered up the back of your neck and through your hair.

Check.

“And who says that you’ll get what you want from me? You think being a slut for others gets you rewarded?” rebutted in a whisper with her lips brushing past yours so delicately.

Pawn moved.

Hands coasting up her back and into her hair that’s tied into a bun, you kiss up her cheek and right to her ear.

“If you won’t, I know someone who will.” another peck to her cheek.

Check. Mate.

“Someone in the next room…she’s done it before. You’ve seen her hands, right baby? Can’t you just imagine how fu-”

Sana suddenly lets go of you. Shoving you, hard, onto the bed.

“Don’t fucking move. You’re going to regret what you said but any disobedience going forward will only result in worse. Do you understand me, whore?” the mood is rage scorched, scowling down at you as you nod your head one time before she sets off to the closet.

She pulls out the box, grabs her strap - the larger one - slipping it on and tightening the sides so it fits tightly. What surprises you is when she reaches back into the box and pulls out some hard metal handcuffs you rarely ever used.

“You think you can just talk about someone else fucking you and get away with it, bitch?” walking up to you, twirling her finger around in front of her, signaling you to turn over onto your stomach.

“Hands behind you.” her stern voice is making you dizzy, unable to actually register what she’s actually saying.

“Now!”

A hard smack to your lower thighs startles you, the sting is delicious but you listen to what she says and put your hands behind your back.

The metal is cold against your wrists, wiggling to see how tight they were. There wasn’t much room to move at all.

Running your fingers against the metal to find the loose bolt that usually releases the sex cuffs, you can’t find one that rattles against your fingers.

“Awh…you thought I’d use the fake ones on you?”

Oh, shit.

Sana pulls you to the edge of the bed, feet flat on the floor and torso bent over the sheets. Taking the head of the strap, she runs it up and down your slit in a very unhurried fashion.

“Look how wet you are.” slapping the end of the dildo on your clit a few times just to hear it splatter against you.

“Did you get wet like this for her too?” gliding back over your slit this time dipping between your lips and grinding against your clit.

A gasp leaves your lips at the sensation, the burst of pleasure that sent shockwaves through you.

“Answer me, slut.” she’s leaned over your back and in your ear, grinding softly against you.

Holding you down by the chain with one hand, the other slips up to your neck, holding your throat to force you to keep your head up.

“Why don’t you…fuck- ask her?” whined out between the sluggish strokes of Sana’s strap.

Immediately coming to a halt when what you said registers in her mind, she grips your throat tighter, you can feel her tensing her body.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?!” growled as she lifts herself off of you.

Rabid, feral and unhinged, Sana can’t seem to get a grip on herself. Taking the chain of the cuffs in her hand and tugging hard, she flips you over on your back. Lost in lust and rage, she grips the collar of the thin oversized shirt you were wearing and rips it clean down the middle in one harsh tug.

You’re lost in your own neediness as you start to drip onto the floor, waiting for Sana to make her move and put you in your place.

Watching as she stands before you, strap brushing up against your core while her hands are clenched into fists next to her.

You swear you can see the steam spewing from her ears and her jaw clenching. Nudging her hips forward, the sensation of the strap against you pushes you closer and closer to begging for her and you know that’s exactly what she wants.

Sana’s hand flies down and smacks your thigh, the sound is brutal but the pain is something you crave.

“I said, what the fuck did you just say?”

You’re melting, slipping into the mindset of wanting.

Wanting her.

Craving her.

“Baby” huffed out through the tension of the room.

“Please”

“Please, what?” leaning forward, her finger comes up to your collar bone and traces it down, feather light touches right over your nipple and slipping to your hips.

Her lips follow from your neck down to your nipple, brushing past her lips barely touching your skin as she descended.

“Sana, please…I need to feel you.” breathing becoming heavier as her mouth travels down to your hips, biting down when she’s low enough to cause the reaction she wants.

Bucking your hips forward, instinctual reaction from your body- her hand raises and smacks your tit. Moaning into the empty space in the room as Sana kisses her way down to your slick smeared lips.

Her breath against your pussy was enough to push you over the edge - a long carnal whine expelled in frustration at how slow she was going. Needing her to finally take you the way you knew she wanted to.

“Say. It.” maliciously whispered, eyes showing you that even if her face was stoic in this moment, there was a hunger in them.

Sana drags her tongue up your inner thigh, stopping right before you could gain any relief from the friction of her touch.

This was torture.

“Baby” a breathless attempt.

Sana inches her way back up to your mouth, leaving a trail of ever deepening teeth marks in her wake, until she’s face to face with you - noses caressing and lips teasing each other.

Tugging at the metal of the cuffs, you whimper at not being able to touch her. Wanting to pull her close to you and tempt her to break- to give in and give you want you needed from her.

Sitting in sounds of your shallowed breath, Sana smirks at you letting out a sigh.

“I can feel how wet you are, baby.” taking her hand down the the base of the strap and positioning it against your entrance.

“Dripping down my strap and knowing that you can’t touch me…Must be so agonizing for a whore like you.” taunting you through clenched teeth and a forced smile.

Gliding over your slit again, she brings her lips closer to yours, letting you lean up to her but pulling away before your lips meet.

The only thing you can think about is her ruining you. Burning sensations of the emptiness between your legs instructs you to rock your hips back and forth to try and get her to slip the tip inside you.

“What’s the safe word?” pulling out of the moment to acknowledge the boundaries.

“Red.”

As soon as the word flies out of your mouth, Sana’s hand is around your throat. Thrusting her hips forward painfully slow until she completely bottoms out inside you.

The moan you let out was music to Sana’s ears, wanting nothing more than to let the guest in your house to know who could make you like this…let them know who you belong to.

Pulling the attachment out to the tip, Sana slams back down - hard but at a slow pace.

“That’s right, honey.” hips cocking back again.

“Let her know you’re mine.” hips snapping into you creating a rhythmic slapping as she continues torturing you with the aggressively slow stake to her claim.

Lips finally meeting, you’re fighting the metal connecting your hands as you both passionately dissolve into each other.

Sana’s grip around your throat tightens as she slowly starts to pick up the pace of ramming the strap into you. Her other hand trails to pinch your nipple, giving it a flick and a few twists so you moan even louder.

Feeling all the euphoria she was presenting you with, you’re unable to stop yourself from whimpering and moaning. Any attempt at muffling them felt useless. The only sounds outside of your own moaning was Sana breathing heavier as she snapped her hips into you, was the sound of your slick against her aggressive, deep thrusts.

Sana suddenly stops, elbows on either side of you, her resting and catching her breath for a moment. Taking a second to brush the hair out of your face, she looks you in the eyes and snaps her hips into you, pressing against your cervix when she speaks.

“Does she fuck you like this, slut?” another harsh thrust.

“Unh! Fuck babyyyy- ungh” your own voice echoes off the wall and back to you.

“Can she make your pussy this fucking wet?” another rabid jolt of her hips.

The deep strokes of her inside you hit every spot imaginable, tingling building in your limbs as she keeps marking her territory with her mouth, bite marks and hickies litter your body haphazardly.

Pressure building from inside you, gasping for air when you realize how close you are to cumming.

“S-Sana! I’m gonna c-cu-”

“No.” is all she says when she pulls out of you completely and watches as you writhe and whine on the sheets.

Moaning and whining in protest as you feel the pleasure receding, Sana just smiles and watches you tear up.

“Tell me who you belong to.” tip grinding against you again, this time causing an almost out right panic in you.

“Only you! Sana, please! fuck me! I need it I need it I need it PLEASE.” tears rolling down your cheeks, inching yourself close to her.

“Sit up.”

You immediately do as your told.

Sana grabs the keys from the nightstand and unhooks your hands.

Immediately, without a second thought, you’re pulling her onto the bed and pushing her down. Her smile is huge, giggling at how desperate you are.

Sana’s hands make their way to your thighs as you fix your position on top of her, straddling her as you ease yourself down onto her.

Hands flying up to catch your waist before you can sink too far down on her, she holds you still and buck her hips up one hard time before allowing you to sit comfortably with the strap inside you.

Completely blissed out, you lean forward and lay on her chest with your face in her neck. Her soft sweet giggle can be heard in your ear.

“Is my good girl that desperate?” placing her hands on your ass and assisting you in slamming down onto her.

“I bet she couldn’t ruin you like this.” positioning her hips at just the right angle to hit your G-spot over and over again as she picks up her pace for you.

Loudly mewling out as she rails into you, the ethereal wave comes back and takes hold of you again. Slamming yourself down onto her on your own, you can only think about cumming for her.

Right as the orgasm is about to shatter through you, Sana flips you over and throws you into a mating press, thighs against your chest and starts jackhammering into you so deeply that it sets your skin on fire.

“Fuck, S-s-ana! I’m gonna c-cum! J-ust like th-that baby!”

“Tell me who you belong to, honey.” her tempo only accelerates.

“You! Only you!” turning you into a groaning mess as you come undone around her.

Vision blacking out, you practically scream as you lose your sense of self and turn into exactly what she wanted, a ruined wife.

Her ruined wife.

Every fiber of your being set on fire and you violently thrash underneath her, creating a mess on the sheets and all over your wife.

Sana is laying soft sweet pecks on your cheeks as she lets you ride out your orgasm, holding your hips still while she lightly rocks into you.

“You’re so good for me, baby.” kissing your forehead and standing up, removing the strap from inside you.

“Look at the mess you made” pointing to the lace smeared with slick.

Unable to catch your breath, you try to compose yourself to reply when she sinks to her knees between your legs.

“Let me help clean you up, honey.”

A long, wide tongued lick up your pussy has you twitching immediately, still completely sensitive and walking into overstimulated territory.

All you can say is “Fuck, baby.” as she laps at you, cleaning up the remanence of cum from your thighs and cunt.

Passing over your clit intentionally, she watches you squirm and moans into you. Hands immediately grasping at her head, trying to pull her closer.

“Is that what you want, baby?” before a rhythmic open mouth kiss engulfs your most sensitive area and turns you back into a groaning mess.

It wasn’t long before she added her fingers into your folds, slipping two in immediately and pressing them up while latched onto your clit.

Bucking your hips into her mouth, you release the loudest, guttural moan you’ve ever heard as you cum around her fingers. Barely giving you enough time to come down from your first orgasm, she expected this of you - cumming quickly for her a second time.

Feeling the droplets of sweat dropping from your forehead, you feel Sana crawl up next to you and snuggle into you. Still gasping for air, you rolled onto your side and nuzzled into her. She played with your hair until you eventually fell asleep in her arms.

—

Waking up the next day was an atrocious feeling, not enough sleep and more sore than you ever had been.

Cracking your eyes open, you realize the bed is empty and there’s laughter coming from the kitchen.

Sitting up and rolling out of bed, you stretch and wince before getting a pair of Sana’s sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt to cover yourself up.

Opening the door to the bedroom, you wipe the sleep from your eyes and meander over to where the sound was coming from, dragging your feet along the way.

Sana and Nayeon are drinking coffee together in their pajamas - Sana is wearing one of your shirts and a pair of sleep shorts, a stark difference to what she wore last night. Nayeon has on something similar.

“Well good morning to you, Y/nnie!” Nayeon blurts out before falling into a thunderous cackle.

“You look like you got beat up! I said good luck, didn’t you hear me?” continuing to laugh with Sana.

“How bad are they? I didn’t check my neck in the mirror…wait, you…you knew?!” squinting at her in judgement.

“They’re pretty bad…Sana must have a biting kink, hm? And of course I knew! The tension between the two of you can be felt light years away. Plus, you weren’t exactly quiet about it.” fighting the laughter as she winked at you.

Nayeon’s hands shoot up in innocence again.

“She’s yours, Sana. I wouldn’t dream of taking her away from you.”

Looking over at Sana, she’s got her hand over her mouth trying to stifle the giggles. She walks over to pour you some coffee.

“I think it’s more about possessive and less about biting…And what are you laughing at?! You started this!” pointing at your wife as she turns beat red.

“No I didn’t.” nonchalantly as she passes you the mug.

“Nayeon should be happy that she’s leaving tonight.” sipping the warmth and smacking your lips at the taste.

“Why is that?” curiously inquired by Im Nayeon.

Looking over at Sana, she’s embarrassed and covering her face with her hand again but for different reasons.

“I didn’t flirt with you, but Sana flirted with the waiter in front of my face like that so I’ll put it this way…I know someone who’s louder and about to get it a lot worse than I did.”

[original-punks]

My cat is sick right now, and I'm reallllly struggling with coming to terms with the fact that she's getting older - 17 to be exact.

[danielnelsen]

things aren’t going well with peach. while i think my dad’s very right to be concerned that she hasn’t eaten anything in nearly 60 hours (obviously i am too), im becoming increasingly concerned that she hasn’t slept at all in around 36 hours and prior to that she was under anaesthetic, which isn’t exactly restful, so it’s closer to 48 hrs

like dad took her back to the vet today and we’ve got injections for her painkillers now because she’s not eating, and also injections for fluids (because she doesn’t drink; she only gets water from her food), so the not eating is Bad but also kinda under management, but if she doesn’t sleep soon i’m extremely worried. dad was like ‘if she doesn’t eat by tomorrow afternoon we’ll take her back because the injections will run out�� but like. if she doesn’t sleep tonight we have GOT to take her back first thing in the morning so they can sedate her or something

[number1jeonginstan]

HEYYY

My first time sending in an ask as an anon to you...sorry I haven't sooner.

Can we have a skz fluff (as your bf-established relationship) reacts to girlfriend who is a dancer (preferably ballet but if it's hard to write for if you don't do it, it can be general) who overworks herself trying to get something right, but she just can't get it and is getting irritated? Possible angst if some of the argumentative boys wanna argue her instead of comfort.

TYSM AND I LUV UR WORK

A/N: I’m so glad I could write for you!!! I really hope you like it, I tried doing my research and using my amazing ballet skills (aka watching the Nut Cracker since I was little) to try and describe it more!

WC: 1.4k

Warnings: None, just fluff and a bit of angst, but everything gets resolved!

Chan: 

You were in your studio, trying to perfect a sissone sur le point, and you kept messing up. As you slid onto your pointe, you kept slipping and you were frustrated. As you tried again, you fell to the ground, eliciting a groan from your lips. 

You had been at it for a while, barely taking a break to even drink a sip of water. You had no idea truly how long it had been as the only window in the studio was secluded. It wasn’t until you heard a knock on the door. “What!” you yelled, still frustrated from not getting it. 

“Y/N, are you okay? You’ve been in here for 4 hours.” It was then when you registered truly how long you’ve been practicing for. “Oh, I didn’t realize” you sighed, finally taking a sip of your water. “You can’t be doing this, it’s not healthy” he sighed kissing your forehead. 

“I don’t really think you should be talking Channie, you are usually cooped up in your studio working and barely ever sleeping,” your voice coming off a bit more condescending than you meant it to be. 

“Hey, I know I do that, but at least I take a break. You haven’t been on your phone since you entered here, I should know, I texted and called you multiple times.” 

“You did?” you asked, not believing til you checked for yourself. “Yes, now please take a break, eat something with me. You won’t get it unless you take a break and reflect, and get something in your stomach.”

You just nodded, taking his hand as you both exited the studio. You were grateful to have him to make sure you don’t overwork yourself, hugging him from the side and kissing his cheek. 

“What was that for?” he giggled, placing a peck on your lips. “Just because,” you grinned. 

Lee Know: 

You had spent at least two hours in the studio trying to perfect your gargouillade, you were struggling, constantly annoyed by how you were doing it, but it wasn’t looking clean. Again, you told yourself, and you could feel your muscles tensing. You just had to perfect it by the end of the day and make it look clean, but you kept failing. 

You gave up, laying on the floor, tired of exerting your body for two hours straight. Anger was ridden on your face. Minho entered the studio giggling, holding a container filled with japchae for the both of you, only to see the anger on your face. 

“Is everything okay?” he asked, setting down the food next to your bag on the bench. 

“No!” you shouted, still not wanting to get up. “I don’t know why I can’t get it to look good” you groaned, placing your hands on your face. 

“Maybe you need a break, overworking yourself will only make it worse baby,” he said while kissing your head, “not to mention so sweaty.” 

“But I have to get it perfect, I don’t know how you get your dances perfect the first time you try, it’s so unfair.” 

“Y/n, first off I don’t, secondly, I practice a much different medium than you. Yours takes much more core strength, and to build that,” he runs over, bringing the japchae with two forks to you, “is to eat good food.” 

 “Don’t worry, you will get it, I believe in you, now please eat.” He held a fork of the food in front of your face and you caved in, taking a bite as he fed it to you.

Changbin: 

“YAH!” you heard a yell from behind you, “do you know how much you’ve been overworking yourself?” 

Before you could even say anything, Changbin had thrown you over his shoulder, stopping you in the middle doing your hops en pointe. “Put me down!” you yelled, smacking Changbin’s ass in hopes he would. 

“Nope, take a break, your muscles will get too sore if you do this!” He yelled back, placing you in his lap. Before you could protest, he began massaging your calves, eliciting a groan from you. 

“See, I told you your muscles are tense, from now on you should listen to me” he grinned from ear to ear as you just nodded. 

Maybe all you needed was a quick break and a massage from your loving, but loud boyfriend. 

Hyunjin: 

You were on the floor, practicing your arabesque penche, trying to make sure you were not falling or tilting to either side. Your body needed to be stable, and you couldn’t possibly get it down. 

Hyunjin came into the room clapping for you, causing you to fall down. “What was that for!” you yelled, not meaning to raise your voice or your temper.

Hyunjin looked startled by your reaction and profusely apologized. “Shit, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to distract you.”

“No, I’m sorry I’m just really frustrated” you sighed, walking over to him and peppering his face with kisses. “It’s okay, I understand, now go back to dancing, I want to draw you looking beautiful” as he took out his sketchbook and pencil eliciting a giggle from your lips. 

Jisung: 

You were frustrated out of your mind, unable to complete your move properly, making you a bit angry. You just wanted to curl into a ball and never do ballet again at that moment. Han had decided to enter the studio at that exact time. 

He saw you curled up and decided to lie down next you. You didn’t notice he was there until you opened your eyes, flying back to see him. He erupted into a fit of giggles, “I didn’t mean to scare you, baby,”

It caused you to start laughing as well, being next to him while you both erupted into giggles was exactly what you needed to take your mind off of everything.

Felix:

“I can’t do this anymore!” you groaned while Felix came in beside you. “I’ve been trying for hours and I haven’t gotten it down.”

“What if I dance next to you, I bet I would look really good in tights,” Felix said, trying to imagine himself in a pair. “What, you don’t have to do that?” you quickly replied, not wanting him to struggle with you.

“But whatever we do, we do together, right? So come on, let me do this with you, or you can do it perfectly now and we can go home and eat brownies.” 

That was all the motivation you needed to try one more time, and you got it. “Felix, I finally did it!” you shouted, running into his arms. “I told you, you can do anything, you just have to get out of your head at times,” he said, kissing your face with a smile.

Seungmin: 

“If you don’t want to do it anymore, you should just quit. It’s only 16 years of your life down the drain,” Seungmin told you, watching you struggle. 

You had been complaining for hours that you couldn’t get your sissone sur le point to look right. It was too difficult and very few people could do it perfectly. “I can do it, stop bringing me down,” you groaned trying it once again. 

“Come on, you are the one who said you just wanted to quit, so quit.” Seungmin said out loud, trying to get a rise out of you “I don’t know why you are trying if you know you are going to fail anyway.” 

That was all the motivation you needed, you needed to prove him wrong. You had tried once again, finally successfully doing it. “Ha!” you screamed “In your face Kim Seungmin!” 

He just laughed “Finally, now can we please go before we miss our movie?” 

Jeongin: 

“Can I try with you?” he asked. “Are you sure, I don’t want you to hurt yourself.” You were confused, you were stuck on the same move for days, constantly crying to Jeongin about how you couldn’t get it down. 

“Just show me one more time, please?” 

You did, landing perfectly. “I did it! Wait, WHAT!” you yelled, tingling Jeongin’s eardrums. 

“I told you, sometimes you just have to leave that pretty brain of yours.”  

[scar-lie]

Crazy Love Pt. 3 Ver. 1 {Natasha}

Summary : Natasha finally have the love of her life

Pairing : Natasha Romanoff x Fem ! Reader

Warning : Nightmare, sad/depress Natasha, happy ending, death

Word count : 7,657

Crazy Love Pt. 1

Crazy Love Pt. 2

Crazy Love Pt. 3 Ver. 2

Cherrylemontober

NO one has permission to repost my work anywhere, if you see it please let me know.

It's been half and a month since they found her dead in her house, a whole half and  a month didn't do well for the team

After your funeral Tony, buried his himself in the lab and drink alcohol, the only thing he can get out in the office is when he needs to go back to his and Pepper bedroom, and Pepper sometimes try to at least get some fresh air with him, but Pepper is having a hard time moving on, in your tragic death but she stay strong not just for herself and Tony but for the other Avengers too

 Bruce always outside in the middle of the forest so if he turn into Hulk, he will hurt no one, plus the forest reminds him of you, you loved animals, well except spiders and you loved the fresh air and water in the forest

Bucky go back to Wakanda, he can't bare to stay in the compound even a day after your funeral, the compound just reminded him of you, whatever she look in any parts of the compound, so he go back to Wakanda 

Sam burying himself by running over and over again, then he will go to you both favorite coffee shop, sitting in your spot and ordering your favorite coffee or tea, even if he didn't like the taste of it, he still drinking it

Clint, he always with his family cause this reminds him of you, specially with Nathaniel, you always play with him and he always in your arms, you spend most of your time with Nathaniel is because you always teasing Nat that it's Nathaniel, not Natasha and you don't have to get up and play with a toddlers, you will just sit and have him in your arm but you love Clints kids so much

Thor, he's in Asgard, once they found you, Thor quickly go back in Asgard and just comeback to your funeral to say goodbye for the last time and go back to Asgard, remembering how you're so amaze when you first go in the Asgard, well Thor didn't get tired seeing you like that every time you visit Asgard, you never get over how beautiful Asgard is

Rhody, He spend his time in the military and constantly checking the Avengers, specially Tony, cause he knows that he's over working and drinking a lot, he manage to visit you tho, yesterday when he got the chance, it hurts him but he's slowly learning to accept the bitter truth 

Vision, well he's still Vision but he got more quiet and stay by Wanda's side all the time, comforting her and reassuring her 

Wanda, she spend most of her time in her room, crying, mourning of your death, she still cooking but not as delicious as before, considering that all she feels is sorrow, there's no joy in her body so the foods she's making, making it a little bitter, plus it remind her too the times when you two cooking

Steve, he's been uneasy, sure he's mourning in your death but he can't lour himself of your death, knowing that saving people doesn't have a break and he stay strong for Nat, even if it's breaking him, he still reminds strong 

And Natasha, to all of them, Natasha is the one who have a most impact to all of them, she move out of Steve bedroom and go back to hers which is besides your bedroom and she’s isolate herself in her bedroom, she didn't dare to take a step out of her room since after your funeral

She only eat 1 times a day but mostly she didn’t eat anything, and she mostly eat is junk foods, every day and night she cry herself to sleep, blaming herself and feeling guilty that she didn't saved you, she didn't protect you while you always protecting and saving her no matter what the circumstances 

She just lay in her bed spending all day and night there, she just stand up when she needs to go to the bathroom and take the food the Steve leaving in her door, her life is fall apart, for her there's no point of living when half of her already dead, when the one person, the only reason she keeps fighting, having hopes, making her happy and guiding her in a right direction are already gone

But she can't bring herself to kill herself, cause she knows you will never want it and she don't want to waste your effort, the sweat, and blood you lost just to make sure she's safe, protected and alive

Her world turned to dark grey with storm, she's losing hope now, the only think it makes her to go on in life is The Avengers, Yelena, Melina and Alexie, she can't just disappear knowing you just leave them all

And now here she is again, crying in her bed with the pillow you always used when you spend time with her in her room, you always in her room tho, and she's laying in your side of her bed when you will sleep in her room

"I miss you" she mumbled burying her face in the pillow, smelling your scent that left in the pillow that is now slowly fading, until she fall asleep again, remembering the worst day of her life

She wake up with a smile on her face, she just had a dreamed of you last night, a good one that she thinks it was real

-THE DREAM

Natasha wake up with the sounds of birds chirping and the sound of water running and falling, she open her eyes and cover the sun that was hitting in her eyes

Natasha frown when she wake up in a different room, it was all wood, the chairs with a pillow, book shelf, night stand, the bed and it's look like a rooms in one of the resort in the forest but this is more comfortable and more relaxing

Then she frown more when she see a beautiful Paradise outside the window, there's a waterfalls, tress, flowers, and fruits are around her, animals scattered doing there own business and having fun, the sun was hitting the water that makes it sparkle, big or small rocks form into a beautiful places and the cold and fresh air hitting her whole body

"Where am I?" Natasha mumbled to herself and stand up, and start to go out

She looks around, scanning the place while taking a step forward, mesmerized at how beautiful the place is. She found herself in peace and for once in a half of the month she feels safe, protected, relaxed, free and happy? she feel a little bit happy

Natasha take a deep breath with close eyes, this is the first she felt this, since Y/N change to a crazy person and it felt forever for her, she missed this feeling, like she's in your arms and nothing matters only you and your comfort that matters to her

But that stop instantly, getting alert and ready to kill someone when she heard someone humming a song, it was a relaxing one but she could never trust it even if it's relaxing her

She look around and grab a branch with a sharp edge, then she start to look for the person who held a beautiful humming voice, she's stepping in the ground carefully, making sure she will not gonna make any noise

Until she come close to the waterfalls and she see a girl who have a Y/H/C hair with a basket with some fruits and the animals surrounded her, the girl is sitting in a plain white blanket besides her is her basket and she's wearing a beautiful white dress with some details, she also have a white handkerchief tied in her head that compliment her wavy Y/H/C hair then she have a white flower resting in her lap

(The outfit but no sandals)

(Like this, I can't find a good one with the front showing so we will stick to this one)

(The hair, white handkerchief and the flowers)

-NATASHA

I frown at it, then the girl started to laugh with the animals around her, she's like talking to them but as soon as I recognized the laugh I froze on my spot that the branch I was holding is back in the ground again

Then she look on her left side to look at the squirrel and I see her half smile face, and it's her, Y/N, my heart beats faster, my knees are getting weak but I still manage to stand still, and my eyes are getting watery

I can't believe of what am I seeing, Y/N is in front of me, just a few steps from me and she's happy, have a sweet cheeky smile on her face, my Y/N who's like a child for the small things she loves

I missed this, her smile, her face, her eyes that sparkle with so much joy, her cheek specially when she's blushing in my remarks and small things, and.....and-gosh I just missed her so much 

"Natty?" I bring out of my trance when I heard her voice again and my eyes snap at her beautiful Y/E/C ones that held so much passion and joy and she stand up and starting to walk towards me with her basket

"Finally you're awake, sorry I wasn't there when you wake up, I just get us some frui-" she stop when she got closer to me and notice the tears slip out of my eyes that I didn't know

"Are you crying?" then she cup my face and her thumb brush over my cheeks, wiping my tears

"Why are you crying my Natty?" then she pout with eyebrows connected to each other

But this just bring me to more tears, this is real I can feel her, her hand, the warm of her hands, I can hear her, and she's here in front of me, I missed this so much

All I can do is sob, bringing her in a tight hug, I hug her as tight as I can, afraid she will leave me again, and I don't want that to happen, now that she's in my arms again

"You're here, you're here, this is true you're here........oh my god!" I sob, burying my face in her neck and cry there, while her hands goes to my back and head

Her hands running up and down in my head and back calming me down while she keeps kissing my head and reassure me that she's here with me, in my arms

"Shh..... Natty stop crying, your gonna make me cry too" she whisper and I push my head off of her just to look at her gorgeous face

I chuckled when I see her puppy eyes, frown lips and eyebrows like she's nearly crying, I wipe my tears while chuckling and kiss her cheeks that makes her blush, that I missed and love the most

“I’ll stop crying” I whisper and sniff, look at the side and wipe my tears and look at her again with a smile on my face, one that reach on my eyes and full of joy 

“There’s my favorite smile” Y/N said with a smile and a blush on her face

This is the only chance to have a full view of her, what she’s wearing and how beautiful she is, I sigh and look down to her while stepping one backward to look at her from head to toe

She get what I’m doing, so she give me a spin for me to have a better look on her and she look magnificent and this makes me in tears again, so I bite my lower lips to prevent my sobs and to try not to fall down my tears

She’s wearing this beautiful white dress with a details and the handkerchief in her head that I give to her, this is the last gift I give to her, I love spoiling her with gift and this, this dress is the last gift I give to her

And this is the first time I see her wear this, well she didn’t wear this since I give it to her since I’m so busy going out with Steve, having date nights and just spending time with him

This is the dress I want to see her wear cause i know she will look magnificent, I remember when I was out with Steve and we come across to a shop and see this beautiful dress, I quickly pull Steve inside the shop and I buy this for Y/N and I don’t care if Steve teasing me of how so soft I am to Y/N

Even if he’s my boyfriend, I still build some boundaries and a little walls but with Y/n I let all my guard and walls down and be vulnerable in front of her

“So how do I look?” she asked, bringing me out of my trace and I smile at her then a single tears slip out of my eyes so I quickly wipe it off

"Magnificent………..you look magnificent as always” I said softly then she lightly jump and squeal of happiness, I chuckled at it then I noticed something

I frown at it, her feet is bare, she’s not wearing any slippers, shoes or anything to cover her foot from the dirt or possible spinlers in the ground and I don’t like the idea of it and seeing her bare foot in the ground it set something off of me 

“Here wear this” I said and give her my slippers and she stop jumping around and look at me down since I already in my knees waiting for her to wear my slippers with my help

I look up when she didn’t move her feet and I see her blushing more and she cover her face with her hands, i chuckled at it and stand up, taking her face off of her face that makes her whine

“You’re cute when you’re blushing” I tease and she slap my arms playfully with a groan, I chuckled at it and soon after she chuckled too

“But I love it” I add and kneel my one knee again and take her right foot and slip my slippers on it and I did to her left one too

After that I stand up, brushing the dust off of me knee, stand beside her, taking the basket on her hand and put my other free arm over her shoulders

“So, what did you get? And where have you been?” I asked her and we start to go inside the house again

“Fruits and other ingredients” she said ignoring my other question but i just shrug it off

Once we’re in the house she quickly pull me in the kitchen, making me sit in one of the stool and she go in front of the stove and put her apron on

“Just stay still there, I’m gonna make you the delicious breakfast you will ever taste” and she smirk with a wink and ‘tsk’ making me laugh a little

With that she start to cook but not before she put some music on, with that there’s a good ambiance and she’s starting to dance and sing with the song while cooking

I’m giggling and watching her doing her thing, this is the one I always admire to her, and I will never get tired of seeing this and I will do anything to see this again and to see her

After she cook we eat in a delicious breakfast and full of laughter and now here we are in the fall

“Natty come on” Y/N shout and pull me closer until my feet is in the water

I look in my front and I see the fall sparkling and making a calming sounds, this place is beautiful and when I look at Y/N she’s already in her bra and underwear, putting her clothes where they will never get wet

“Come on, Natty, you stings so…let’s swim” she then whisk a water in my face

I heard her giggle while I wipe my face and then she splash a water in my face then splash a water on me wetting my shirt and shorts, I gasped at it but she laugh and swim away from me

“Oh you wanna play that game, you better be ready!” I shout stripping and leaving me in my underwear and bra, I throw my clothes beside her and swim where she was

When I was near at her she go down so I stop and look around, getting more aware in my surroundings but then I got pull down making me yelp

When I open my eyes under the water I see Y/N smiling and she go up so I follow her, I gasped for air when my head is finally out of the water and I heard an angelic giggle and laugh that was coming out of Y/N mouth

I look at her and giggle at how she act so I splash a water to her, making her stop

“I’ll get you back” I threaten and she just shrug and swim away from me

“See if you can catch me!” she shout

This goes on for a few minutes, just us playing around the fall until I finally catch her and hold her waist

“Gotcha” I whisper making her startle and I start to tickle her making both of us sink down

After that we go back in the ground and sit in the rock and she start to hum a song again, one by one the animals starting to surround us, the squirrel even so to her lap, looking up at her, I smile at it and close my eyes and relax at her beautiful humming voice

————————————————————————————

-NO ONE’S POV

When Nat open her eyes again, she’s back in her room in the compound again, once she recognize her ceiling she quickly shot up and look around, looking for you, she got panic when she see you nowhere

“Natty are you ok?” Natasha heard a soft voice that she loves the most and she quickly snap her head where the voice is and she see you at the door the only person she wants

“Oh my god, I thought you leave me again” Natasha quickly jump out of her bed and run to the girl she loves and missed the most, Y/N

Then she quickly put you in a tight hug, afraid you will disappear if she didn’t held you enough, and she don’t want that to happen and go back to her routine which is bed and crying til she fall asleep

“Please, promise me you’re not gonna leave me again …….. You will stay, right?” natasha asked with tears streaming down her face

She stare straight through the Y/H/C head woman eyes in front f her white she cup her face, her eyes are begging for Y/N to said yes

“I’m not leaving you silly, plus I’m always right there…….” then she poke natasha’s heart with a smile

“In your heart” then she look up to Natasha with her bright smile

For Natasha that was an enough answer as long as she know Y/N will never leave her again, that all matters to her, to have Y/n back in her arms again

And this time she promises and make her mission to protect and save Y/n in any situation and any harm, she will do everything for her to make Y/n stay

“Thank you” Natasha whisper and kissed Y/N’s forehead

Then Natasha pull Y/n in her bed making Y/N to sit in her bed, then she put the covers in y/n’s lap, grab the remote, getting in the bed too behind Y/N

Now Y/N is between her legs and she pull her to lean her back in her front, then she quickly wrapped her arms in Y/N’s waist and open the TV

“What movie?” Natasha asked going to the Netflix

“You choose” Y/N whisper getting comfortable

Natasha smile at it and put Y/N’s favorite romance movie, even if she don’t like it, she still watch it cause Y/N loves it and by the time being, she learn to like the romance movies too

With that they watch in silence, just savoring this moment, the moment that Natasha have been craving for, and missed, she then rub her thumb in Y/N’s stomach, knowing this makes the Y/H/C head girl relax

Until half in the movie, natasha’s hand goes to Y/N’s hair and start to comb it, then she reach to the drawer of her nightstand and get out an elastic and comb

Then she start to comb Y/N’s hair that makes the Y/H/C girl hum in satisfaction

After Natasha comb her hair, she start to section Y/N’s hair into two to make a double french braid

“Stay still, потница” Natasha mumbled and y/N just nod, letting Natasha braid her hair with a humming song of a Russian song that Y/N loves

“And done” Natasha whisper after she finished and she give Y/N a mirror, but she didn’t take it and look at Natasha with a smile

“I don’t need a mirror, I know I look good whenever you do my hair” Y/N said with a cheeky smile and Natasha hug her

“You always look good even in your morning hair, you’re gorgeous потница” She whisper and Y/n giggle at it until Y/N stomach grumbled making the red head look down on her stomach and Y/N look away while whistling

“You’re hungry” Natasha tease and Y/n just whine

She get out of bed and pull Natasha with her, then they both slip their slippers on and then Y/n’s stomach grumbled again and this makes Y/N whine but Natasha chuckled to it

“Come on, let’s eat breakfast, I’m starving” Y/N said with her cheeky smile and Natasha chuckled at it

Y/N always hungry so Natasha always making foods, only the one she knows to cook, like fried foods, toast bread and of course her favorite, peanut butter sandwich that Y/L loves too, and if y/n get tired of her fried foods, they will go out to buy foods

“Come on, I’ll make you a breakfast” And Nat hold her hand and they go out of her room down to the kitchen, but they just take a few steps Y/N whine

“What?” Natasha asked worried

“Don’t be mad but…..” Y/N bite her lower lips

“I’m not gonna get mad, what is it?” Natasha clearly concern and worried for the woman in front of her

“I’m just….uhm my stomach don’t want some fried foods of yours” Y/N mumbled looking down in her slippers, which is natasha slippers you stole from her 2 years ago, this makes Natasha chuckled and make you look up at her

“Don’t worry, I’ll cook other food, and I know you’re not sick but I know how to cook soup, you want that? And maybe I can make both of us a peanut butter sandwich?” Natasha said egear to cook for her favorite girl and person in this world,

This makes Y/N squeal from happiness, whatever Natasha learn something new from cooking she always gets so excited to taste it, knowing Natasha will allow only you to taste it first, and Natasha loves to learn new recipe for you to eat

“Yes, yes yes yes…..now come on, I want to taste that soup of yours” Y/n quickly drag Natasha to the kitchen and this makes Natasha chuckled

Once they got in the kitchen Natasha quickly but gently pick Y/N up and rest her in the counter beside the stove and Natasha quickly get all the ingredients she needs

Natasha can't let to take the risk of you getting out of her sight, she can't take the risk cor you to just fade away when she take her eyes off of you

“Mmmhh it smells good, I can’t wait to taste it” you said rubbing your hands together and swinging your feet, this makes Natasha smile

“Just wait…” she smile at you so you both go on in a good conversation, like you always used too while she’s cooking the breakfast

She set things up and go back to you and pick you up again and place you down in the bar stool and sit across to you

“Mmmhh yummy” you said eager to taste the food she cook for you, Natasha smile

“Go on taste it” you smile widely and take a spoonful of the soup

You will eat it without blowing it so Natasha quickly stop you, cause she knows you will burn yourself if you just take that spoonful of a newly cooked soup

“Woah, woah woah slow down, blow it first, it’s still hot, you will burn yourself” Then Natasha lean in and began blowing the soup in the spoon while you giggle in embarrassment

“Sorry” you mumbled and bite you lips

After Natasha blow it and make sure it’s not that hot she lean back with a smile looking at you with loving eyes

“Nothing to be sorry, Y/N/N, there you can eat it” your eyes lit up and you quickly take the spoon in your mouth

“Mmhhh” you hum with close eyes and slum back down in your seat, savoring the delicious soup

“Yummy” you said when you the soup is already down in your stomach and you lean in again and start eating the soup

This makes Natasha giggle and start eating with you, for the first time since you dead this is the happies, relaxing breakfast she have

 The have a good conversation, remembering the old time and telling the hilarious scenarios in their life while only natasha and y/N just listening to her, but mostly Y/n is the who always tell stories while Natasha is listening but now, Natasha is the one who’s telling stories and y/N just listening and laughing with Natasha

“And oh I remember when you just trip after you defend a lady in the park with 5 boys, that’s hilarious, you look badass walking away then suddenly you trip” Natasha said between laughter

What she didn’t know that Avengers with Pepper and Clint’s family just got in the living room, they agree last night that they should help one another to get through this and mostly help Natasha, knowing is is the most damage one

“Is that Natasha right?” Sam asked frowning, when they all heard her laughing, this is the first time they heard Natasha laugh loudly like she’s the only one in the world

“Ye-yeah, I guess” Wanda said, she clearly still have a red puffy eyes and a big eye bags under eyes

“Why is Lady Natasha laughing?” Thor asked and bring her Mjolnir in the corner

“There’s only one why to find out” Tony said and they all go to the kitchen

“And oh Y/N/N maybe we can visit Lene, she missed you too” Natasha said and this makes all the Avenger froze in their spot, looking at one another

“She probably will be ha-” Natasha cut off by Bucky

“Ah Nat, who are you talking with?” Bucky asked and Natasha look back since she’s facing her back to them, and they see a big smile plaster on Natasha’s face, the one they never seen before

“Oh Hi guys, come on Y/N is here, I know you all missed her too” Natasha said and stand up to go to them

All of them have a question look, at this point they got more worried to her cause they see no one besides Natasha, the soup in front of Natasha is untouched, the spoon besides the hot soup is still laying down neatly, the peanut butter sandwich is still laying down in the left side, without a bite, only Natasha’s foods is the one who's not untouch

“Uhm, Nat is dead” Bruce bring the news that Natasha forgot since the dream happened

This makes Natasha stop in her track, she just take a step when she stop and she frown looking at them

“Wha-what…?” she asked chuckling not believing what Bruce said

“Y/N dyed half and a mont-” she quickly cut Pepper in her sentence

“I head what Bruce said” she snap, getting angry

“She’s not dead! I just talked seconds ago to her!” she yell in angry looking all of them with confusion

Laura quickly take the kids away from the kitchen so they didn’t hear or witness Natasha’s sorrow, this kill Laura and she don’t want that to witness so so they get out of the compound and go to the nearest park

“What are you saying? She’s not dead” The Avenger sigh and look at one another, breaking at what Natasha’s saying

“Nat Y/N dyed, Half and a month ago, she took her own life” Rhody softly said

“We see her hanging in her bedroom ceiling, you and Wanda first saw it, remember?” Steve softly said and go to natasha slowly

“I told you I just talked to her, look she’s right th-” Natasha stop when she point where she see you, and when she look at it, you’re already gone

“There” she whisper confused, and tears starting to whelm up of your her eyes

“Nat, st-” Tony said but natasha didn’t dare to listen

“She’s just here, I’m just talking to her, laughing even” then she go to your seat and touch it and it was a cold seat

“Nat, she’s dead” Wanda said

Natasha’s tears starting to fall down, one first follow by one again until numerous tears are falling

“No, no no no no no no no no no, yo-you’re lying” she said looking at the food she made for you and it was untouched

“Nat we’re not lying, you saw her dead, we ev-” she cut Tony off

“SHE’S HERE, IN MY SIDE, I EVEN TOUCH HER, WE TALK, EAT, AND I CAN FEEL HER IN MY ARM, I-I…..I EVEN…..-” Natasha sob shout getting weaker, that she just wake up to a reality

“We even buried her Lady Natasha” Thor said softly and this makes natasha go weaker, collapsing in the ground and thankfully Steve quickly catch her

“No, no no no no no, you-you’re……..you-you’re just lying” Natasha keep mumbling that sentence over and over again while sobbing

Steve bring her to a hug and Natasha try to get him off of her but Steve didn’t budge it and continue to hug Natasha even if she’s punching her

“AAAAHHHHHH NO NO NOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOO” Natasha scream out, it was agonizing, the pain and sorrow, it’s like she just seen you hanging in your bedroom ceiling just a few minutes ago

 And all of the Avenger look away from Natasha, crying too, this makes even harder for all of them, seeing Natasha like this, killing them over and over again

“Natash-” She cut Steve off and push him away

“NO, YOU’RE LYING, SHE’S ALIVE. Sh-she’s alive, I touch her, I even braid her hair…..sh-she’s alive, you-you all ju-just……. Just lying” She back away from them until she stop

“She’s dead nat” Clint said, in the whole ordeal, he spoke with seriousness and pain, then he step closer to Natasha

“Don’t you fucking said that Clint, I told you she’s just here, I see her, believe me” Natasha said through sobs

“Nat-” Clint whisper and the Avengers just looking everywhere that’s but Natasha, they can’t bare to see natasha like this

“No, don’t you dare sa-” she cut off by Clint grabbing her arm and harshly shook her a bit and grip her arm tightly

“She’s dead Nat, she killed herself” Clit said harshly, he hates doing this but he have too as long as his best friend wake up to her illusions

“No, no no no no” Natasha whisper looking at Clint’s eyes, who also crying

“Accept it, what you see is just an illusion Nat, Y/N is dead!” with that Natasha didn’t fight and let her body weight on Clint, that he catch and bring Natasha in a tight needed hug

Natasha just cry there, she feel like someone pour a bucket full off ice on her, but the feeling and the truth is killing her, this is more painful than the torture she went through before

And she don’t want this to feel, she’s so tired of it, she’s so tired of mourning and the pain is unbearable, she just want this to stop

This went on for a few days that turn into a weeks and months, Natasha lost her mind and getting crazier by the time being, she keeps seeing Y/N everywhere and this drives her crazy

She also killed someone, when she get out of the compound cause she see Y/N outside, she just follow Y/N until someone disrespect her

And this bring back everything and when the night comes she killed the guy like what Y/N killed the previous guy who disrespect her

This go on for one to two, then three until numerous guy killed by Natasha, she continue what Y/N started

Until One night she dream of Y/n again, like the other nights, but this one is different, this is not just only making memories

-THE DREAM

She wake up again in the beautiful paradise but this one is different, instead of a fall it was a clean lake, instead of a house it’s just a blanket with pillows

The place is beautiful, this more brighter and calmer, trees everywhere, birds chirping around, butterflies and other animals are here, and the water are sparkling by the sun hitting the water

She feel at peace here and all her worries and pain are gone here, she feels like she’s in heaven

“Gladly you’re awake, talia” a soft voice ring in her ear so she quickly snap her head to see the Y/H/C head girl

“Потница” Y/n smile at her and sit besides her, Natasha got mesmerized by your beauty, you are wearing a white dress with gold details

(Your outfit)

“Welcome to my paradise, my love” Y/n said looking around but Natasha eyes is on you

“You look magnificent as always, потница” you smile at her and thank her for that

“Finally catch up on you” Natasha said and will gonna hug Y/N but she just went through her

“Wha-what?” she frown confused and she try to hug you but she went through you again

“Y/N?” she look at you waiting for an answer

“Oh my love, I’m sorry but you can’t touch me” Y/N said softly and give natasha a small smile

“Why? I can touch you before” Natasha said and try to touch you but she can’t

“You know what, let’s explore my home, shall we?” Y/N stand and wait for Natasha so she stand up too

“Ok, whatever you want, потница” Y/N smile at it

“Follow me” and they start to go around, Y/N showing Natasha her favorite part of her home, and telling her what she have done to them

She tell stories and have a good memories, but behind all of this is a message for Nat to have, that Y/N want to tell her

Until it’s time for Nat to wake up, in the reality where no Y/N, where the pain and sorrow will come back

“Nat it’s time” Y/N said softly stopping by the lake and look down in the clear water who have their reflection

“Time for what?” Natasha asked and look down in the water too and have eye contact to Y/N

“For you to wake up” The she face Natasha, this make Natasha eyes water

“Wake up?” Natasha asked looking at her with confusion

“Yes, wake up to reality” Natasha just look at her to Y/N smile softly at her

“This is just a dream, my love I’m not real” Natasha’s tears starting to fall, even if you want to wipe it, you can’t

“No no no no, you’re real………you are real” Natasha sob at it trying to hold you but she can’t

“No, my love, this is just a dream, this is my home now and you have to wake up, you can’t stay here” you said softly

“I don’t want to wake up, it hurts there, and I don't want to feel it anymore, please………please I don’t want to wake up, please” Natasha plead but you shook your head and take a deep breath and with a flick of your fingers you cup her face and wipe her tears

“Look Talia, I’m not here to distract you from reality, I’m here to make you realized something, the Y/n you keep seeing is not me, the y/n keeps appearing in your dreams is not me, it’s just your illusion” Y/N said softly rubbing her thumb on Natasha’s cheek and wipe her tears

“Wh-what?” Natasha look at her confused

“Look, I know what I did back in earth is wrong, and my brain eat me, poison me and be a crazy person bu-” Natasha cut you off

“No you just did that because you love me and I know you didn’t mean it” she said and Y/N smile at her and Nod

“Yes, I didn’t mean it bu-” again she cut you off

“And because of me you did those and and because of you you took your own life, this is my fau-” you quickly cut her off

“No, Natasha, this is no ones fault ok, it’s my decision to killed myself cause, I know I can’t stop myself of killing people” Y/n take a deep breath

“Look, I saw myself to you because I want you to wake up from the reality where I’m no longer there, and I want you to keep going on your life and live happy with Steve, have yi=our own family, I know you can’t pregnant but I now Tony and Bruce will fixed that but that’s not the point….” Natasha look in your eyes sowas you to hers

“I want you to stop, what you’re doing is wrong, stop continuing what I started, you’re not that person Talia, you are a hero not the Villain” you said softly

“Maybe I already became one……look if you’re not there, I will lose my mind, i can’t live another second without you so please I don't want to wake up, please” Natasha sob pleading and she hug you tightly

The comfort she’s looking for is now here, she’s getting it, the real comfort not the comfort that her illusion making

“Please, please I don’t want to wake up” Natasha plead burying her face in your neck and you rub her back up and down

“But if you don’t wake up, you will die, and think of the people down there, the Avengers, Wanda who is counting on you, having hopes that you will go back to your normal self, Steve who loves you the most with all of his heart, Lena who still needs a sister, your love, Melina and Alexie who still wants to see you and make it up to the years of pain they cause, they still needs you down there Nat, so you need to wake up” you said softly but she shook her head and pull away

“No, it’s unfair” she sob looking at you

“It’s unfair, Y/N cause Wanda need you too, so was Lena, Steve, Tony and all of us, especially me, I need you but you just left us” Natasha broke of her voice

“I know but it’s for the best but you, the world still needs you” You said softly

“Please, I don’t want to go back there, I have already done enough, I always put everyone before me….please at once I wanna be selfish…..” natasha soc holding your hand firmly

“For once I wanna put myself first, I wanna be selfish, I wanna stay here with you…..cause if I go back there knowing you will not gonna be there, I can’t go on life, I can’t save a life and it will drive me crazy so please…….” then she cup your face and kiss your forehead then rest her forehead to yours

“I want to be selfish and stay here with you, please” she said softly

At that moment you know you can’t change Natasha’s mind, what every pursue ow whatever you say, she will stick of inseasting to stay here in your home, in your paradise

Cause you know she’s a stubborn one but you love it, so you sigh, holding her wrist and rub your thumb at it and nod, leaning in on her comfort you missed too

“Ok” you whisper and she sob bringing you in a tight hug

“Thank you, thank you” you smile at her and hug her too

————————————————————————————

Meanwhile in the compound, the team are losing hope, they can’t help Natasha and it makes them frustrated especially Wanda, Steve and Lena

“I’ll go check on Nat” Lena offer and they all hum at it so all hum in agreement and lena go to her sister’s room

“Nat?” she whisper and enter her room, she see a peaceful Natasha laying in her bed

Lena frown and got happy cause for the first time of 8 months this is the only times she see her sister peaceful

“Nat?” she said softly and shook her but the redhead assassin didn’t wake up which is unusual cause she always wake up even if you just open her door

“Nat” lena panic and shook natasha violently but the redhead still didn’t wake up

Lena try for a few times but it still didn;t wake her up and this broke Lena, sobbing in her sister’s body and she put her two fingers in her pulse in the neck and she felt nothing

“Natasha” Lena whisper and sob knowing her sister already passed away

“FRIDAY tell everybody to come up here

“Yes, ms. Belova” with that FRIDAY tell everybody to go to Natasha’s room

At that time Lena broke the news and they all broke down especially Wanda and Steve, this isn’t easy for them, first you tragic death and now Natasha’s tragic death too

————————————————————————————

The last moment of Natasha, her funeral, everyone is wearing all black mourning of Natasha’s death, Doctor Cho announce that she died of cardiac arrests

In the rainy day, everyone have an umbrella and in front of Natasha’s casket and slowly putting down in the hole

They will buried her body next to your, her death is uneasy too but they accept it, knowing that she’s know with you, that Natasha always wanted since you dead

They know that it’s hard to move on knowing that still didn’t move on on your death and now Natasha but they know they will accept the truth someday and move on and be happy

“ Я знаю, что ты теперь с Т/И/И, и я знаю, что вы оба теперь счастливы, Т/И/и, пожалу��ста, позаботься о моей сестре, Ты тоже Нат, при��мотри за Т/И/И” (I know you're both happy now Y/N/N please take care of my sister, You too Nat, look after Y/N/N) Lena said with a smile

“I always will люблю вас обоих” (Love you both) Natasha whisper and throw a white roses

“I am happy and will look after her, I will always love you too сестра” Natasha said from above

You and Natasha watching everyone from your now both home up, Natasha feel bad for leaving them but she didn’t regret it, she knows that she will just make a bad decision and do something wrong if she go back to earth

“I will don’t worry Lena, I always love you too” Y/N said with a smile, she understand and speak Russian too, Yelena and Natasha teach her

“Let’s go?” Natasha asked and stand up taking the dirt off of her dress and offer her hand to Y/N, that she gladly take and Natasha pull Y/N up

(Natasha’s outfit)

(Natasha’s hair)

“Let’s go” Y/N said and Natasha help Y/N take the dirt off of her dress, Y/N still wear the same dress tho

(Yout outfit)

(Your hair)

(And you both didn’t wear anything to cover your feet, you both just go aroun bare feet)

With That you walk away hand in hand and happy to be with each other’s arm again

This is what happiness and a life you both wanted, a peaceful yet you both are together like a love birds, that whenever the one leave, they always come back, when one love birds die, the one will follow soon

And you both are happy that this is the ending you both have, you might have a traumatic pass, have a worst life in earth but at least you both do everything to have purpose in life and didn’t let your past affect your presents

And how here you both are happy with your new lives so was the people who loves you both in earth, they are happy that you both are now in peace, they know that someday you all will reunite, in the afterlife

[drdemonprince]

I was talking to some relatives about our comparative sensitivities to substances. As a young person, I had the classic Autistic hyper-sensitivity to drugs. Two beers could knock me out. Anything past that was disgusting to me; at Ohio State I was constantly hiding half-drunk solo cups of Natty Light on bookshelves and in basements because I couldn't keep up with anyone else. I had no taste for weed or anything harder because I hated how tired it made me feel. At the same time, I always remained lucid on substances. I was always the person who could snap into practical, problem-solving thinking and put on a sober face if a member of my party got in trouble for pissing in the street or started fighting or ran afoul of the cops.

growing up, my friends were always trying to get fucked up so they could escape their brains and their realities, and then falling into huge problems because they'd done so. they'd get drunk and piss themselves. drive drunk home. fall in love with some dude on cocaine ten years older than them and then have to bust open a garage window with their fist when he was freaking out threatening himself. they'd blow out their caffeine receptors on weird drug store cold medicine and not be able to drink coffee for years. they'd drag themselves hung over to work or have to run a 5k still stoned. i didnt understand why they'd be so irrational. i was always the person sitting on the floor, a little tired but fine, watching them wrestle eachother drunkenly or cry when they'd started taking whatever drug it was to make themselves feel good. i didn't understand why someone would choose to weaken themselves and make themselves feel even worse. but nothing ever really felt good to me. i was just a flat line.

My sensitivity has changed thanks to testosterone, specifically because of muscle growth. I can throw back a number of drinks that startles me now, and feel almost nothing. A few months back a friend was being very generous with the boozy slushies at Sidetrack and the shots. I don't know how many I had. But more than I'd had to drink in many, many years at least. Which is probably still a small-seeming number to the real professionals, maybe something like 6 or 7 drinks total. But I felt completely fine, nothing past a little silly. I ate a taco on the curb, sipped some water, and then I was fine.

My sister is barely feels substances at all. She can't tell when pain medications work. In college, during a spat with a sorority "little" of hers who began to stalk her, she spent every afternoon at the bar downing shots from a shot-club list in exchange for a t-shirt, and it didn't affect her. She hates food and eats very little because of probably ARFID, but she will drink just about anything, and can do so in abundance if she wants to. But she rarely wants to, because it doesn't make her feel any more fucked up than a couple of cocktails. She smoked weed and took edibles sporadically for years without them ever kicking in or doing anything to her.

I am reminded of that story I read about the guy with really high social anxiety whom the CIA gave like ten tabs of acid, as part of some fucked up experiment, and he remained completely lucid, polite, present, and normal-seeming the entire time. Because he was just such a fucking tight-assed neurotic person that he couldn't let go of his iron-tight grip on reality. After his 12th acid tab, he got a little bit sleepy and went off to bed, or something like that. (If someone remembers this story and can find a link, send it to me!).

I don't know that I'd be the same, I've never tried, acid, but I imagine that it would play out something like that. I'd clench my firsts tight onto reality and keep masking as normal until I reached the absolute fucking brink of my ability to cope, and then I wouldn't enjoy the high, i'd just be so fucked up that I needed to go lie down. Mushrooms didn't affect me much, either.

I can't seem to escape my constant neurotic rumination and compulsive need to attend to the reactions of others and modulate myself. I wish I could let loose, but then again, when a person says they want one thing and they behave in a completely different way, trust the behavior. Clearly I don't want to lose control. I'm obsessed with maintaining my perspective. The one time I got properly zooted high at Nowadays in New York I nearly lost my phone, and I don't want to risk anything like that again. Anxiety is such a protective thing. we evolved to survive not to be happy. and all told i'm pretty good at keeping shit together, looking after myself, looking after others, and not fucking things up. my anxiety and rigidity has spared my ass a whole lot of problems, saved me a lot of money, helped my career, helped me escape arrest. i wish i could relax once in a fucking while but also i dont. im in love with what a tight ass sharp edged tense little bitch i can be. i dont know who the alternative version of me even would be. if i were to let properly loose and get sloppy it would feel like some abdication of duty, because I know that I *can* keep it together no matter what, and it seems so many people can't.

[imagine-silk]

I have a Yandere Fallout idea. A courser is found spying around in Good Neighbor and the citizens captured them to give to their leader so he can decide their fate. Theirs a bag over their head, and when he removes it he is stunned. They are absolutely breathtaking, and he instantly knows he can't just kill such a pretty thing. He decided to keep them instead.

》Just let the chaos happen.

It is an absolute miracle this courser wasn't killed on the spot. The only reason they are alive is because the citizens want Hancock to torture them to get information on why the Institute keeps sending people to the surface. Because this one didn't replace anyone, they were just a stranger passing through that the others sniffed out. To the citizens' credit he was going to do just that, but plans change. He then gives a speech about rehabilitation to his people and how he will get this synth to talk without harming them permanently. Because of how much his people trust him they take this with no push back.

There are quickly chained into the attic of the Old Statehouse. Only Hancock and Fahrenheit have a key to access it so anyone else will need to be let in. Fahrenheit stands on business and she knows exactly why Hancock did what he did. So she never harms them, gives them food and water, asks them the questions and leaves after they refuse to answer. Hancock will spend hours in the attic with them. He's so enamored with them, their sharp observing eyes that scream with judgement, their lips that stay shut as long as he's in the room, how clean they seem to be and how perfect all their proportions are. Of course he's speaking but that almost comes second. He feels like he caught an angel that fell out of heaven just long enough for him to snatch.

They ask him to just kill them, that they will never surrender any information or give into any demands. What terrifies them is that fact he says, "I know." He know any rehabilitation is going to come through extraordinary means and he doesn't really care to do it, not when they're right there for him to look at. He can enjoy the presence of the fallen angel because they both know no one is coming to save them.

Synths are just humans that were designed so the coursers are barely different. They are meant to be the perfect soldiers so they eat and drink significantly less. Hancock thought he was content to just watch them and worship them from the other side of the room but he didn't account for just how greedy being that close would make him. So he puts a little something in the food and waits until they fall asleep. He's not dumb enough to touch them while they were awake, they'd kill him the second he was within arms reach. So he takes the time to trace their face, to feel how warm their skin is, to inspect just how flawless they are. When they start waking up he retreats to a safe distance. Of course they know he drugged them and check to see what he did but he didn't really do anything, or at least nothing they can check. They do their best not to eat anything he gives them only for it to be in their drink the next time. This creates a loop of them not eating or drinking for long periods of time before needing to and indulging. It's a 50/50 chance it's tampered with.

There is one thing, and one thing only, that would get them out of the chains and attic; if they developed an attachment to Hancock. This could be very likely. He is one of the only two people they see, he speaks to them constantly, he treats them like he's worshiping, going so far as to put them to sleep to feel what perfection is like. What's the alternative? Going back to the Institute who either thinks they're dead or knows they're alive and isn't sending anyone because they know they won't be a problem. No matter what the case is if they did go back they would be reevaluated and their mind would be wiped at the very least, worse case they would be dismantled.

Then they start talking back, little at first but enough to hold a conversation. They see how, as much as Fahrenheit would, Hancock is never going to hurt them. He's not incapable he just won't. Slowly the conversations go more smoothly and there are less things in their drink. On a whim they ask, "Do you want to touch me?" They invite him to come close, vowing if he goes too far they will kill him. Then he does. He cups their face, searching for a reaction and gently glides his warped hands over it, down their neck. He inspects their hands, testing intertwining their fingers. This wasn't violent, it was barely invasive. It was worship. That fact breaks something in them, in their mind and suddenly being here isn't the problem. The nail in the coffin is when he asks them if they want different clothes, saying they must be uncomfortable now that the temperature is starting to change.

They start to crave the worship he gives to them, allow him to inspect them and every time he acts like he's never done it. They test their luck and start to trace his face as well. They learn every wrap and blemish his skin holds, they watch how close their fingers need to get to his eyes to see them close, and they wonder what they could do.

There are two routes from here; they either allow this to keep happening and become content living in this golden cage or they see how far they can take his worship. They ask things of him and he gives them. This further breaks them open as well, it creates a feedback loop between the two. In lame terms; they match their freak too well. They walk the streets freely, they watch everything he does expecting he'll watch them as well. The residents of Goodneighbor are happy because they think the rehabilitation worked. All they know is they went in a prisoner and left very willing to kill anything that threatens Goodneighbor. They don't need to know the selfish unhinged reasons.

[gurglebellylove]

oh, to have a cute girl whose belly i could keep hungry all day then stuff past her limits on valentine’s day. let me set the scene.

i would ask her to stay empty for me all day, to prepare for our date later that night. she’d complain of course, but she would do it anyway because she knows we both enjoy it too much. she would send me pictures and videos of her empty belly, letting me know just how unhappy her belly was about not having food. to thank her for being such a good girl, i would be sure to already have reservations booked at her favorite restaurant, with flowers and a card telling her how i couldn’t wait to see her stuff her face just for me.

i would pick her up for the date and watch in awe as she shows up to the door with a beautiful, tight red dress on. almost immediately, her belly would growl ravenously, letting me know that it is indeed still empty after my request for the day. we’d head to the restaurant, music turned down low, listening to her belly grumble and growl the entire way there.

even though we had reservations, the restaurant we chose was packed and we would have to wait for a bit before being seated. she’d whimper and lay a hand on her tummy, loud growls filling the space. she’d blush and try to rub her empty belly without being noticed. i’d be mesmerized the entire time, so distracted that we almost miss the hostess letting us know our table is ready.

our waitress would come by, taking our drink and appetizer orders before leaving. my girl would immediately down her water, attempting to fill her empty belly, even if it’s just for a moment. not too long after, our drinks and appetizers would arrive, and with my permission she would dig in. she’d moan softly, happy to be finally eating after being so hungry all day. our waitress would return to the table, constantly refilling our champagne glasses. the appetizers were a good start, but not nearly enough to fill two hungry tummies. our entrees arrive after a bit, and once again we dig in. i can barely concentrate on my meal because of how ravenously my date is consuming her food. i’d give up even trying to finish and just watch her in amazement as she packs more and more food in her expanding tummy. she’d get through it all so fast, not even realizing that i’ve stopped eating altogether just to watch her. scraping her plate clean, she’d look up and catch me, blushing but also enjoying how much she entertains me.

by this point, her belly is nice and full, but this isn’t the end. slightly drunk from the champagne and on the idea of me enjoying myself, she’d ask the waitress for the dessert menu. the waitress would raise her eyebrows in shock, before quickly going to get the menu. i’d smile to myself, excited to watch her shove even more food down her throat. she’d order, knowing her belly was already full and after this, she’d be stuffed. we’d chat for a bit, both of us waiting for dessert to come and finish what we’d started. once dessert arrived, she would take a deep breath before beginning to eat. i’d grab the extra spoon that was brought out, both of us knowing i wouldn’t be using it. i would make her finish it all on her own. she’d eat it slowly, her bloated belly filling up more and more. she’d ask if she could take it home or if i would help her finish, but i would decline both offers, needing to see her eat all of that food in one sitting. determined to make me happy, she’d pick her spoon back up and eat the rest of it quickly, just trying to finish. slightly panting, she’d drop the spoon and lean back a little, trying to soothe her upset belly. i’d smile and whisper how proud of her i was before paying so that we could leave.

her belly nice and bloated after this, she’d be so full that she would get the hiccups. groaning, she’d recline her seat in the car and rub her overfilled belly, burping softly. she would be so full that i would have to help her get out of the car and inside the house. i would kiss and rub her belly, thanking her for the wonderful day she’d given me. she’d smile and let me know she’d do it all over again just to please me. finally freeing her round tummy from the tight dress, we’d head to bed, with me rubbing her stuffed, gurgly belly all night, so content with the best valentine’s day i’d ever had.

[sleepyburito]

MHO! Blake's quirk is very very relatable to me in terms for the side effects

When she overuses it she risks overheating and flu like symptoms. Simple right?

Yeahhh that is a fucking nightmare in real life

I have, what my doctor described as a 'heat allergy' which translates more to my body can't handle extreme temperatures the way most people do. In the middle of winter? my hands are always icicles even with gloves

In the summer and heat however? I am constantly hydrating and drinking so much water just to avoid a headache only to get a headache anyway because my head was in the sun for maybe an hour? That's without even mentioning the nausea

but back to Blake's quirk

I imagine when she really, really pushes herself to the limits and is basically running on empty, she starts to show classic over heating symptoms

this (for me at least) includes a headache, nausea, shivers, lack of appetite and dry mouth & lips

So like... middle of training, she's barely able to stand due to overworking and she hasn't been able to eat anything proper in literal days other than light, tasteless foods like lettuce, cucumber, crackers etc

idk, fun thoughts

[soft-bellied-tannies]

Little Bite #34

Read here or on AO3!

Jimin grew up with a demanding mother since he was such a promising dancer.

She controlled every bite of food in their household and forced Jimin to work out and practice constantly, leading to injuries that stopped Jimin from dancing almost entirely.

Jungkook grew up with a mom who was a horrendous cook, but she was adamant that they have family meals together, take her food for lunches, and not order out - all related to her pride as a “traditional housewife”.

She was not controlling about the food health or intake amount, but Jungkook barely ever ate a full meal because her food was so terrible yet enforced.

Growing up in the same neighborhood and school, they found a solidarity in their precarious food relationships and decided to leave home for college together.

Jungkook and Jimin meet a group of five friends very quickly after arriving on campus who immediately noticed that both have terrible eating habits.

Jimin still with a rigid workout schedule even though he has chronic pains and Jungkook worryingly underweight with how thin he was.

All their friends, especially Yoongi and Jin, make a point to encourage them to eat more starting with making homemade meals for them.

It’s difficult to get Jimin to eat “off his meal plan”, but Jungkook is more than willing.

Jungkook instantly is in shock and is amazed by their food.

“I had no idea this could taste good!”

He immediately starts to build an actual (and huge) appetite, filling out rather quickly - finally getting himself to a healthy weight for his age and height.

He continues gaining as they help him rediscover foods he always thought he hated and he actually finds that he enjoys food for once.

Jungkook’s new appetite and enjoyment for eating created a healthy attitude toward food so it encouraged Jimin to break his instilled habits too.

He begins allowing himself to eat full meals, have dessert, and drink things other than water.

Feeling like he has energy and happiness thanks to food and his now boyfriends, Jimin also begins gaining weight.

He walks and does yoga plus casual dancing with Hobi instead of forcing himself to still do full cardio, strength training, and running.

Jimin does have periods of regression and anxiety after coming back from a bad visit with his parents or chronic pain flare ups.

He will tend to indulge in candy or sweets before he leaves for a visit due to stress, force himself to work off as much as he can right before he goes home, has a bad visit with his mother, comes back with a pain flare up due to pushing his body, and then allows the pack to pamper and spoil him while he emotionally and physically recovers.

Jungkook has random bouts of guilt from enjoying food so much now where he skips meals thinking about how hard his mom worked to feed them even if it wasn’t good.

It typically resolves with one of his boyfriends convincing him that his fostered love of food now does not reflect his childhood food relationship and once Jungkook eats again after skipping for a few days, he binges.

It takes some acceptance, but as Jungkook and Jimin are still active and so happy, it makes it easier to process.

Jungkook learns to cook with Jin and Yoongi, taking pride in being able to cook for his boyfriends as well.

He learns how much he loves being spoiled and enjoys the way he can encourage Jimin to eat more too, especially when they are both going through a hard time.

Jimin finally cut off his mother after a visit so bad, he needed a week to recover - spending full days in bed while his boyfriends cuddled and fed him.

They both foster comfort eating as a coping mechanism and find themselves eating their way through stressful exams, family issues, and insecurities.

However, both Jungkook and Jimin recognize how much healthier that is than the way they were living before.

Considering how affectionate and supportive their partners were on top of the personal acceptance, the weight started to feel like an accomplishment - a measure of pride and healing.

By the time they graduate college, there is nearly 200 pounds gained between the pair and a whole lot of love throughout all seven.

[frogofalltime]

day 9

as you probably know i stayed up until 5am last night because of the Hospital Situation (don't worry @etherealspacejelly is at home and doing alright now !!) so i didn't set an alarm for the morning as i knew i needed to sleep

i woke up at 11am, took my meds with some water, and then went back to sleep for another two hours

then i woke up again and just lay in bed on my phone for two hours. and when i finally got up, i just sat / lay down in various places in my room and did nothing at all until 6:30pm when i eventually gathered enough spoons to cook. i was going to study because i have an exam next week, but i really couldn't make myself do it, and i knew i needed to eat before i did anything else, but it took me so many hours to be able to do that.

i felt nauseous and sick, probably because i didn't eat all day. when i am unwell mentally, i find it impossible to eat, and also being hungry makes me have an even worse time because i don't have any energy, so it is a negative feedback loop

finally i heard my flatmate leave the kitchen so i went to cook some food. i don't like going to the kitchen when other people are in there. i live with three girls, none of whom i am out to. one of them is barely ever here but the other two are often in the kitchen. the muslim one talks to me every time she sees me even when i am overwhelmed and can't talk, and she's assuming i'm a girl so she says things like "i am glad we have an all girls flat so i don't have to wear hijab in the kitchen" that make me feel really uncomfortable and guilty. and the other one is always talking on the phone loudly and cooking strong-smelling food. so it is very overstimulating to be around them, hence why i usually avoid going to the kitchen until it is empty.

also i haven't been feeling as hungry as usual in general. the first few days on my meds i was hungrier than normal but now i just don't feel like eating at all.

i made vegetable curry and rice, enough to last me 4 days. it wasn't spicy at all, because i used a different spice mix instead of the one i brought from home, and i guess it is catered towards people who can't handle chilli. it still tastes nice though

i ate while watching an episode of the percy jackson series (the one with the lotus casino) and it was interesting to me how they changed the plot from the book. it made me feel a little better because percy jackson has been an obsession of mine for more than half my life.

then i curled up on my bed and scrolled on my phone for many hours. suddenly it was 11pm so i washed my dishes, put the three extra portions of curry and rice into bowls and put them in the fridge, and got ready for bed. that didn't take long because i did not change my clothes from my pyjamas today so i just had to wash my face and brush my teeth.

i have had a really bad headache all day and my eyes hurt a lot but it's probably from crying so hard last night and looking at my phone screen too much and not eating or drinking enough today

the pain in my left side isn't as bad as yesterday because i did not move much all day. it doesn't hurt constantly anymore, it just hurts when i move or cough (i am still coughing a lot from the cold i caught 5 weeks ago, its really annoying)

i also feel kind of feverish, maybe it's from lack of sleep, maybe it's from eating only one meal today, or dehydration, maybe it's a side effect from the meds, who knows.

overall a really bad day. the eating disorder that i have struggled with for 10 years has been flaring up recently and i'm feeling more depressed even though i'm still on antidepressants. tomorrow i will try to get up earlier and change my clothes and go outside and study and maybe i will be okay. even if it hurts my ribs to walk i would rather that than another day trapped in my room with my brain.

i hope it gets easier.

[annaphoenix1994]

Ch.81 - Price and Evie

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

Simon and Kiera have lunch with Soap; Kiera has a let down reflex; Price gets to spend time with Evie, understanding how obsessed Simon is with being a first-time father.

After Soap had given his information to the saleswoman about the ring, he avoided his embarrassment by offering to pay for lunch. Choosing a local cafe, they were seated at a booth next to a window in the corner of the restaurant, Simon keeping Kiera on the inside of the booth so that he could keep an eye on the point of entry just in case he needed to offer protection. "I'll be right back, L.T. I'm going to go find a restroom." 

"Alright." 

"If the waitress comes back and asks for drinks, just get me a water." 

Simon nodded, watching Soap leave before he turned to Kiera, "I'm going to help him out with the ring." 

She grinned, "And to think you've always despised him."

"Some of the shite he does drives me up a wall," He chuckled. "But I want the best for him and Teeter makes him happy. The least I can do is help him out." 

"I think that's a good idea, babe," She encouraged. "He's been talking about proposing for a long time." 

"Trust me, it's been the topic of our conversations for months." He scoffed. 

"Has he told you how he was going to do it?" 

"He said something about taking her on a trail ride to somewhere she said she loved to see. Some overlook. He said he wanted to take all of us on this ride so that we'll all see it and that she wouldn't suspect anything and he wants either me or you to pretend to take their picture, but really be filming the entire time to catch the proposal on video." 

"That's so cute!" 

"He'll probably chicken out," He chuckled. "I thought I was going to when I proposed." 

"You seemed like you had it all under control." She hummed. 

"Trust me, I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest."  

"Well, I can say that you definitely pulled it off. It was amazing." 

"That was the goal, love." 

"Hello! My name is Nancy and I'll be your server this afternoon. What can I get you two to drink?" The waitress smiled, blonde hair framing her face as she clutched her notepad. 

"She'll have a Dr. Pepper and I'll have a water," Simon answered. "Oh, I'll need another water, too." 

"Okie dokie. Do you need a few more minutes to look over the menu?" 

"Yes, please." 

"Okay, I'll go get those drinks and be right back with some bread for you. Any lemon for the water?" 

"No thanks." 

She nodded before turning on her heel to retrieve her customer's request, Soap returning before she could return. 

"Thought we lost ya." Simon poked.

"Yeah, I was beginning to think that you fell in." Kiera giggled. 

"Holy hell," Soap chuckled, shaking his head. "Had to drop a bomb if you know what I mean." 

"Fuckin' hell, Soap. We're about to eat." 

"What? It's not like you two have a weak stomach." 

"We might." 

"I doubt that. With all the shite we've seen, hearing about me dropping a deuce should be the least of your worries." 

Kiera felt Simon's leg bouncing up and down impatiently under the table, knowing that he felt empty without the presence of their children to accompany them. He knew that it wasn't such a bad thing to take a brief break from constantly tending to his children knowing that they were in good hands, but in a way, he felt guilty and selfish - he felt like he had pawned them off just so he and Kiera could spend time together. The more he thought about it, the more he worried about their honeymoon, wanting to make it special for Kiera, but knowing he'd be unable to worry about being too far away from their children possibly more than how Kiera would. 

Once their food came, Soap wasted no time in digging in while Simon barely touched his food, still not used to eating as much at a certain time of day due to his former military agenda. Kiera didn't eat as much either as her appetite wasn't as big as it used to be, resorting to just a simple chicken sandwich and fries, sitting back in the booth after finishing the sandwich, blushing at the sensation of Simon's palm cupping her knee, craving her warmth to soothe his own anxiety. 

Simon's eyes darted towards the sound of a baby crying, immediately hoping that either of his children have cried since they had left them with Kiera's parents before his attention turned to Kiera after hearing her gasp. "What's wrong, love?" 

He watched her complexion change to embarrassment, clutching her jacket over her chest as she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Let's just say my body is reacting to hearing a baby crying..." 

He furrowed his brows at her explanation, following her hand as she moved her jacket to show him the damp area of her shirt. 

"What happened?" 

"It's a let down reflex." She sighed, embarrassed. 

"What's that? Do we need to leave?" His tone was low and concerned, never hearing about a let down reflex before, but slowly putting the pieces together that Kiera had begun to leak her own breastmilk at the sound of another baby crying. 

"Soon, but I'll have to pump as soon as we get home." She replied, leaning closer to him to whisper her response into his ear. 

"What happened, K?" Soap asked, his eyes on his phone screen as he had been checking in on Teeter, texting her to let her know - more like ask - if they'd like to play Big Chief later.

"I-It's nothing," She replied. "Just... New mom things." 

"Oh, okay."

She kept her jacket clutched over her chest as she zipped it closed, resting her elbow on the table out of embarrassment, her face flushing as Simon had put his hand on her knee, rubbing small and reassuring circles against the fabric of her pants with his thumb. 

* 

Kiera couldn't help but giggle as she noticed Simon's impatient driving on the way back to the ranch. He was desperate to get home to his babies. Kiera was, too, except she felt she was able to wrap her head around the fact that she was able to take a brief break while knowing her babies were in safe hands while they were away. The drive was nearly silent once Simon had turned the truck onto the road that led to the driveway to the ranch. "I hope they've been on their best behavior for your mum." He sighed. 

"They're babies, L.T.," Soap snickered from the backseat of the truck, tucked between the two carseats. "They're either sleeping or eating from a bottle. I'm sure I could watch them with no issues." 

Simon scoffed, "It'll be a cold day in Hell before I trust you with our children." 

"Why?" 

"I don't want their first words to be shite or fuck and I especially don't want my son to have a mohawk by the time he turns two." 

"You are stone cold, Simon." Soap chuckled, knowing that Simon was exactly right when it came to his children accidentally learning a curse word with their vulnerable and sponge-like brains. 

"Gladly." 

"Would you at least consider it, though?"

"No." He huffed. 

"Who's going to watch them when you and K go on your honeymoon?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." He grumbled. 

"Is it bad that I haven't thought about planning our wedding yet?" She giggled. 

"Not bad at all, love. Take your time." 

"I love weddings," Soap said excitedly, leaning forward to where his face was too close for comfort. "Do you at least have colors in mind?" 

She sighed, "I was thinking about having our wedding in the fall. Where the colors are so pretty and it's not too hot outside. I was thinking about the colors being like a maroon or burgundy." 

"I like that, K."

"Me too. I'm leaning closer to burgundy because it's one of Simon's favorite colors." She admitted, glancing over at him to watch his face tighten with a grin at her admittance. 

"I figured it would be black," Soap scoffed playfully. "It's a shock to know that he likes another color besides black." 

"Just full of surprises, Johnny." He huffed. 

"I bet you have a red room in y'all's house." 

"A what? And y'all? Speak fuckin' English." 

"You know what a red room is, L.T.," He smirked. "Don't act like you don't know. And y'all means you all put together."

"Let me guess, you learned that from Teeter?" 

He breathed a laugh, "I've learned a lot from that lass. So much that I'm putting a ring on it so I can learn a lot more." 

"Fuckin' hell," Simon grumbled, rolling his eyes as Kiera began to giggle at their antics. "I regret even asking." 

"You still didn't answer my question." 

"What question?" 

"That you have a red room." 

"No, we don't." 

"Thought you didn't know what a red room was, L.T.?" He snickered.

Simon grumbled as he put the truck in park, removing the key from the ignition before getting out to walk around the front of the truck and opening the door for Kiera, offering his hand for her to take, her grip tightening as she sorely moved her weight onto her feet. "Alright, love?" 

"Yeah," She sighed. "I wish I wasn't so sore." 

"You're working on getting better. Those exercises have been helping." 

"They have. Although I do miss when you help me stretch." 

"I can fix that." He smirked. 

"Hey! You gonna open the door for me too, L.T.?" They heard Soap shout from the backseat. 

"You have two hands." 

"The door is locked!" 

"It's called a child lock, Johnny." Simon grumbled. 

"But I'm not a child!" 

"I beg to differ." 

The couple watched as Soap grumbled to himself, moving to where he pulled himself over the console and out through the passenger side, keeping his feet tucked to avoid scuffing the leather seats with his shoes as Simon stepped aside to open the rear door purposefully. 

"Really? You wait until I found my way out to open the door?" 

"Delayed timing." He shrugged, a smirk threatening to appear on his face, amused. 

Kiera shook her head at their bickering, rolling her eyes as Simon locked the truck, offering his arm for her to grab as he escorted her towards her parent's lodge with Soap splitting off to search for Teeter after seeing she had texted him back regarding his request: 

Today, 2:18 PM:

Big John: "Are you up for playing big chief later?" 

Sugar Teets: "i be waitin on the bed for u with an open mouth and legs baby"

Once Kiera and Simon entered the lodge, they were greeted by the warm smell of apple cider and a ham that was cooking in Eva's crockpot. Immediately, Simon's eyes scanned the interior of the lodge, searching for the precious beings Kiera had given him to obsess over. Eva smiled from the kitchen, wiping the flour from her hands onto her apron before approaching her daughter with a warm smile and open arms. "Dinner should be ready in a few hours," Eva smiled, kissing Kiera's cheek. "I'm making honey ham, mashed potatoes, macaroni for your continuous cravings, and some sugar cookies to accommodate Simon's sweet tooth." She explained excitedly as she walked past her to greet Simon, seeing the relief in his eyes now that he was able to see his children. 

"Sounds good, momma," Kiera smiled. "Where's our little ones?" 

"Jacob is down for a nap in your father's lap and Evie is being spoiled by Simon's Captain." 

Kiera felt Simon's shoulders tense out of jealousy instead of anger. "Where is he?" 

"He's in the living room with Bud."

Simon nodded, his fingers grazing the small of Kiera's back before he escorted himself into the living room, seeing Price smiling down at the infant in his arms, his free hand holding the pacifier comfortably in her mouth with his index finger at the base of the nipple, Price not yet sensing Simon's presence coming near, Simon hearing Price's soothing words that calmed his anxiousness about someone else tending to his children. 

In fact, he grew to appreciate it. 

"Look just like your father, little lass. You're going to break some hearts when you get older." He grinned down at her, admiring at the perfection in his arms, making him wish he had a child of his own. 

"She's forbidden to have a boyfriend." Simon commented as he took a seat in the empty chair across from the couch Price was sitting on, keeping his tone low as Bud was fast asleep with Jacob nestled between Bud's leg and the arm of the recliner, snug and secure as he slept - pacifier between his lips and Bud's index finger clasped in Jacob's little hand.

"I have a feeling that she's going to be a firecracker like her mum," Price chuckled, glancing towards Simon. "If that's the case, you're going to be running a muck, mate." 

He huffed, "I already have my hands full with Kiera. Last I need is to see her grow up and have boys begging her to take her on a date." He grimaced at the thought, dreading the day that Evie would come home to say she has a crush on a boy that possibly likes her back - going on her first date, going through her first heartbreak, her first post-relationship depression, losing her self-esteem - everything. He couldn't stand the thought, knowing it would hurt him just as much as it did to see Kiera go through her depression and tears. 

"You know it's going to happen, mate," Price chuckled. "But you have several years to prepare for it." 

"Thanks for the assurance." Simon scoffed, tapping the heel of his foot against the wood floor out of anxiousness and impatience. 

"It's what I'm here for," He chuckled, adjusting the blanket around Evie's little shoulder. "I'm proud of you, Simon."

The words caused his neck to straighten and goosebumps erect on his forearms. He's proud of me? "You are?" 

"Of course. I've known you for years as a man who only had one mission: to get things done. I never saw you as someone who would let someone else tear down those walls you've worked so hard to put up. But look at you now: a family man and significant other to someone dear to you. You managed to turn your whole life around." 

He nodded subtly, accepting the compliment from a person who had a major impact on his life as, aside from Kiera, Price had been the only other person to see Simon during his worst times, being there to be a listening ear for when Simon needed someone to talk to. "T-Thank you. I owe you and Kiera a lot for listening to my heartaches-"

"You don't owe us anything. Seeing you happy is enough for me, especially spending time with these little ones." He smiled, his heart swelling at the sensation of Evie's mouth clasping over his finger that held the pacifier securely in place, letting him know that she was either dreaming or growing hungry, a slight grumble leaving her little mouth. 

Simon's lips spread into a grin. 

He watched as Price turned his head to look over the back of the couch, watching Kiera help her mother in the kitchen as they playfully tossed flour at each other. "How is she doing?" He mouthed. 

"Still sore from the C-Section. Had a bit of postpartum depression and am afraid that she still does."

"Still having the night terrors?" 

"Rarely now, thankfully," He sighed, keeping his voice low to avoid waking her father who was sleeping in his recliner nearby, not wanting him to overhear and worry about his daughter. "She's more open about it now and I think it's been helping."

"Good. I've been keeping her in my thoughts. How are you doing?"

He sighed, "Barely had any nightmares. Can't remember when I had the last one. And honestly, I've slept better since the babies were born." 

"I think it's because you feel complete with yourself." 

"It's because I feel like I've found my purpose." 

[ghostofwillows]

I am absolutely a tea person. Completely. 100%. 200%, even. Hell, infinity percent. The only criteria is that it can’t be mint, peppermint, or lavender. I am a tea person so much so that in my 8th year of school I was given the name ‘tea addict’. My water bottle is not a water bottle, it’s a tea bottle as the stains and remnants of tea shall still be there centuries later.

Where does this all lead to? This incredibly boring and wordy intro?

In my 7th year of school, I was home schooled. Just that one year. So I was basically constantly at home, and I was also drinking tea constantly (more than 6 mugs per day, every day). And I loved chamomile tea. I got a bag of 30 tea bags from my favorite semi local tea shop.

On a course of 2-3 days, (I was also already having sleep issues), I was drinking chamomile tea constantly. It got to a point I could barely stay awake all day, despite sleeping better and sleeping more often.

I was speaking with a friend about this, and after finding out about the whole chamomile tea thing, she shared me some of her at the time very wise herbal knowledge.

And thats how I found out that I was basically giving myself a natural sedative with just a bit too high of a dose 👍

Consequently chamomile tea is unfortunately and sadly in my list of foods I can’t eat more than once a week because I’ve previously over consumed them

[jesusdontcry]

OUROBOROS for dessert (after the wine ran empty)

A mere daydream of a woman in a devastatingly sour marriage

It was the second week of our supposed honeymoon trip. I know we agreed on not doing a proper wedding, and so no proper honeymoon, because we were just too busy with work and everything else but I can't help but dream what it would have been like if we just called it all off. I could have found someone who actually understands me. Not that Arthur isn’t good. He cares for me, but anyone can do that. He just doesn’t properly understand me deep within. I constantly daydream of men that I've had almost no proper interaction with and what my life would end up like if I was to drop everything and be with them. Last night we went to the marina to have dinner, it was 8:23, I was wearing a slightly overindulgent dark red dress and Arthur was wearing a fresh white shirt, black tie, and a perfectly fitting blazer. We barely spoke to each other the whole day, and by dinner, we’d grown silent. We ordered a bottle of red wine and as the waiter poured us each a glass I gazed at him, then the harbour, and began to imagine our fictional future together.

We were in rome. We had just bought our first property, a pretty little house right on the waterfront. I was a few months pregnant and we were in a paintshop deciding what colour to decorate the walls of each room in the house. I initially thought a pale pink colour for the baby’s room, but he soon suggested a sage green, which seemed infinitely the better choice. We rushed home and instantly got to work. Every half hour or so he would come from one of the other rooms and hug me from behind. He would ask me if I wanted a refill of whatever it was I was drinking, and offer a hand. He was always so polite and just wanted to pamper me with affection and support. Later on, after we ate, we took a walk to the local picturehouse to watch whatever was showing. I never properly understood what was going on but he seemed to love it, and I loved that for him.

Deep into this fantasy, our main courses arrive. I got the seabass, Arthur got muscles. I hated the way he ate. He was always so messy, he never properly understood having the correct etiquette during meals. He was known for how polite he was but for some reason, during meals, he was like a dog eating its dinner for the first time all week. He was ravenous.

I realised that we hadn’t said a word to each other for just over 2 hours. I almost cried on the spot. My food had gone cold and I was in a loveless marriage that was only doomed to get worse as each day went on. I should have listened to my grandmother. She always warned me of marrying too young and making the same mistakes she and my parents made. I never believed her, my Mum always told me not to, but maybe none of this would have happened if I had just listened. Maybe I wouldn’t be sitting 2 metres from the sea, with a man who doesn’t really know me at all, dreaming of ridiculous fictional futures, with men I don't even know their names, now crying directly into my meal, as Arthur just watches it all unfold. I stand up, but evidently too quickly and so grab the table for physical support. The wine was finished. I don't remember having that much. Arthur stares at me for a second and then back into the distance. The sound of the water and the boats begin to fade out. I soon can't hear anything at all except a loud white noise, but I cannot decipher its source. I look down to see this unusual hazy ring around me. As I question my own sanity, the ring develops into a snake, at first circling me slowly but soon develops into fast laps around my waist. The snake appeared to be dead, it had bit on its own tail, but it was still managing to circle my body. The colours of my surroundings had faded, and continued to fade until the world had gone black and white. Then the light started to go out. Was I dreaming? Was any of this real or had I dreamt of a different life so much that I can’t even separate these dreams from my own reality?

THE END

[jundlcndwastes]

Juniper had been dehydrated for so long that it felt like every gulp of water wasn't nearly enough. Even the plate of food that the doctor had brought her didn't feel like it was ever going to be enough. As much as she wanted to scarf it all down, she had been taking her time with it, as if that was all that would be able to be divvied up to her while she was here. That kind of mentality came from someone used to having to ration out their food because they didn't know when they'd be fed next. The funny thing was, Redstar had the supplies, they just kept it all locked up; another form of control Slade had over his people.

She thought about his words, how he said that she had made the right decision coming here to Alexandria. As hesitant as she was about coming here, uncertainties still not shaken just yet, so far she was glad that she had made the decision to come here after all. The worn-down girl hadn't been past the gates five minutes before she was being whisked away to the infirmary to receive immediate medical assistance. She'd been given a bed to rest in, water to drink, and food to eat. Nobody had meant her any harm (as far as she could tell) and Daryl had even come to check on the newcomer to make sure she was doing okay so far. That didn't mean she still didn't feel on edge just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

❝ Thank you, ❞ she spoke quietly, a croak in her voice, echoing the hardships that she had been through leading up to being here. That 'thank you' meant a whole lot and even if she couldn't convey it all right now, she hoped that he at least understood to a certain degree that she really was grateful that he had told her about this place. For all either of them knew, she could have been dead instead of resting in a bed right now. When he mentioned having to leave, Juniper nodded her head, laying back down on her side once he disappeared from the room. Her body needed rest, but something deeper than fear prevented her from wanting to close her eyes to get the sleep she deserved.

Any time that August had been allowed outside of the walls of Alexandria, he was out there looking for his daughter, the only thing left he had in this destructible world. The day that they had been separated played on a loop in his mind day in and day out, questioning how good memory actually was. He constantly tried to recall details, to remember the faces of the people who ambushed them, specifically who grabbed Juni. He tried remembering any vehicles around that might have been lying in wait. Anything that engrained itself in his memory, he tried using as a clue to find her, but he always came back empty, and he always came back feeling guiltier and guiltier, like it was somehow his fault he'd been shot in the leg and couldn't stop them from taking her.

The good people of Alexandria had taken him in not long after that, helping him with this injury and barely healing before he was adamant about getting back out there and finding her, constantly reminded that the world was too big and she could be anywhere. That was something that weighed heavy on his chest - she really could be anywhere; either far away or just within reach and he wouldn't even realize it. So when he wasn't out there, he was in here making himself a useful civilian, taking up mechanical work.

Despite his desperation, he'd just barely heard word that a newcomer was sitting in the infirmary. He'd been busy working on the innards of a rundown Chevy that everyone else said was scrap metal, but no, to a mechanic there was much potential. Hands were wiping away at a rag that was dirtied up as it was when Daryl rounded the corner of the garage, not bothering with a greeting but instead telling him something he'd been longing to hear since he got to this place. Juniper was found.

Everything was dropped immediately; the rag fell to the ground and there was a clatter of metal as a wrench was forgotten. August's legs couldn't take him to the infirmary fast enough and he practically kicked open the door to see if what Daryl was saying was true. The moment his eyes landed on his daughter, the only thing in the world that mattered to him, his eyes lit up like fireworks on the fourth of July. Just looking into her own startled gaze, he could tell that every fear he'd had about losing her was echoed tenfold.

❝ Juni, ❞ he gasped her name as he ran to her side, not giving her the chance to get out of that bed in the state she was in. A million questions ran through his head at once, wondering what had happened to her out there that she'd landed herself in here. His arms scooped her up and held her against his chest, peppering hard kisses against the crown of her head. He was never going to let her go again.

The door to the room slamming open had her heart rate jumping, Juniper immediately sat up in the bed wondering if now was the time the second shoe had finally dropped; that this place wasn't what Daryl had promised it would be but another nightmare coming true. It wasn't though. There was no nightmare emerging from the door, no threat that meant her freedom was being taken away from her again, and nobody that meant her any harm. How fast her heart had been beating before now seemed to freeze in her chest as she laid her brown eyes upon the one face she had been DREAMING of ever since the day she had been separated from him. He was alive.

❝ Dad, ❞ she choked on a sob that she couldn't hold back, immediately trying to scramble out of this bed so that she could get to him and throw her arms around him. He was quicker than she was though, at her bedside in a flash and pulling her into his chest. Juniper suddenly felt like a child again, that same little girl who had lost her mom in a horrible, life-changing accident and relied on the only other person in the universe that she had. They were two halves of a whole, two lone wolves that weren't so alone when they were together, and two hearts that made each other feel at home.

❝ Hey, hey, ❞ she heard him whisper against her hair as he held her tight in his arms, neither one of them minding how injured she might have been, and she certainly wasn't speaking up. ❝ I've been looking all over for you, kid. Where the hell have you been? ❞ He chuckled nervously, a gratitude dedicated to the universe for bringing them back together.

she gulps down water exactly as he'd expect anyone to at this point, and surely, her body needs it. he doesn't exactly know what happened to her out there between their meeting and her showing up on alexandria's doorstep, but daryl had not been lying when he said she didn't look good. it's nice to see her a little more cleaned up and getting some much-needed rest.

her name, though, gives him pause as she finally reveals it. thoughts stir in his mind as if they've all been pulled into a whirlpool. daryl recalls a certain newcomer, august, and the emotional plight he's been talking about for weeks now: that he'd been separated from his daughter and that he wanted to find her. a woman named juniper.

it's a unique name; one daryl wouldn't have forgotten even if he tried. rather than speaking up about this sudden revelation, however, he only nods. it will be up to august himself to confirm or deny her being his daughter. though he does feel that juniper is trustworthy, daryl doesn't know her. not really. the safety of the community always comes first.

‘ you made the right decision comin' here. ’ he chews on his lower lip a little, debating on whether he should let her rest or if he should bring august here now. she does need to sleep, to recover, but maybe that would be easier with her father there. that's if she even wants him there at all— daryl doesn't exactly know the whole story. she might hate her dad's guts. the last thing he wants to do is reunite someone with a parent who doesn't have their best interest in mind. will he risk it?

he decides that if juniper gives him any indication that she doesn't want to be near her father, he will do everything in his power to make it so. it's the least he can do for keeping it from her in hopes that it would be a nice surprise. ‘ i got somethin' i gotta go do, ’ he says, gesturing out the door. ‘ i'll come back later— make sure you're doin' alright. ’

it doesn't take daryl long to find august. all he needs to say is i think i found your kid and they're off towards the infirmary. august's anticipation is almost palpable. when they get there, daryl makes sure to remain by the door— should juniper need him, should this be a decision daryl would come to regret, he needs to be there to be the one to fix it.

[desafinado]

Hello hello! Congratulations on getting 50 followers!🎊 May I request some hcs💚, preferably with a male matchup?

I’m an INFJ, pisces, and 6w5. I go by she/her pronouns.

I’m very shy, around strangers and acquaintances. But when I’m around friends, I get pretty talkative and talk about the most random stuff. I tend to be a workaholic at times but I make sure to take a rest from time to time. I love helping out others but get anxious and doubt myself whenever I do something wrong (also very prone to overthinking). In friend groups, I’m the motherly friend whose constantly worried lolol. I’m an early bird and I get tired pretty easily. I daydream sometimes, which may or may not be in the way of my studies. I have a decent social battery but I dislike if there’s too much attention on me.

Most of the time, I’m alone reading a book, playing genshin/other games or watching anime. I may become competitive at times when it comes to certain areas that I’m passionate in (say, like fighting games) but I make sure to tone it down if it gets too overbearing to others. I think I’m pretty close to kinning Ayaka or Xingqiu.

Is it weird to say I kinda like cleaning?? Like it’s relaxing and calming when you got some Lo-fi music on and you got the goal of making sure everything in your vicinity is spotless.

My love language would probably be Acts of Service but physical touch comes close. I really love hugs but I’m too shy to ask for one. I tend to get flustered easily if I’m complimented, usually deflecting with a “No U” joke.

Anyway, thank you for reading my request! ❤️ Take your time, drink some water and eat great food! I hope you have a great day/night!

kazuha ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ ﾟ ♡ ﾟ｡

just stares at you with pure love and content as you talk about the most random things; he also does pay attention occasionally raising a question or giving a witty insight.

loves reading books with you, recommends you mostly poem books. loves teasing/flirting with you using lines from said books.

he loves making you blush, it makes him feel like he’s successfully shown you how much he loves you, and a smile or a blush is all he needs to know you love him back.

distracts you from overthinking by reciting poems, most preferably in his lap as he hugs you and whispers faintly into your ear.

admires your work-life balance, though he will still try to coax you out of work to enjoy a beautiful sunny day. will work 60% of the time.

spring cleaning days (that aren’t in spring) where both of you just take the day off to clean out the abode you share, being nostalgic towards old pictures you’ve found or even playing around a bit, making a controlled mess.

video game nights involving you just teaching him how to play the entire game. to be honest, he barely tries, he lets you win, unless its a co-op game you can bet he’ll be working overtime to get how to play.

in short, he’s not the grandiose or extra type, but he will very much do anything to see you happy. doing chores while you’re away, helping you/giving some insight on anything you might be working on… he’s basically like your knight in shining armor.

50 followers celebration rules here !!

note: ahh i forget to add but also expect kazuha to be the dad friend to ur mom friend lol... hope you liked it ^^