#she drinks about as much as someone would donate and very rarely kills anyone

[fayesephone]

Messy doodle sheet of my lil bunny vampire Ophelia that I adopted from @flowerrose14 awhile back! 🍷❤️

[elsanna-shenanigans]

August Contest Submission #13: Icy Justice And Poisonous Roses

Words: ca. 4,500 Setting: Modern AU (Superheroes) Lemon: No CW: graphic violence, mentioned character death, trauma, acid burns, enemies to lovers, poisons

Elsa wasn’t a fan of these formal gatherings. Not that she didn’t enjoy a good party or enjoy dressing up, but mainly because of the sorts of people that were usually in attendance. People who cared more about the money in their pockets than the betterment of others.

Still, Elsa was the most eligible woman in the city and probably the richest woman in this room, so she had to keep up appearances, lest people suspect what she did in the hours she wasn’t running her company or attending gatherings such as this.

She stood by the window, gazing down at Arendelle City, wondering if she was doing enough for this city. Granted, things had gotten better, police reforms, elimination of the more corrupt members of the city’s elite, but still there was suffering in the streets and for every supervillain locked away, someone more powerful and dangerous likely took their place.

It was a long war, a war that Elsa often wondered the point of fighting for. But then she remembered her parents, of the man who had taken them from her, the pain that had caused her, pain that had awoken the power within her.

“Enjoying the view?” a voice spoke to Elsa.

Elsa turned around, seeing an acquaintance of hers, Hans Westerguard, walk over to her, offering her a glass of champagne. She should have been talking to him more tonight, what with this being the fundraiser for his mayoral campaign and Elsa being a major donor.

Hans wasn’t exactly a perfect individual, but considering he was running against candidates that were a mob boss who posed as a philanthropist and a businesswoman who Elsa knew had been supplying tech and resources to supervillains, he was the lesser of three evils.

He had a good sense of justice about him, being the current district attorney. Though, Elsa had hoped he could do more with his position. She hoped that by donating so much to his campaign, she might be able to sway him to enact more progressive policies once he was in office.

Though of course, he had to get into office first.

“Oh, Hans,” Elsa replied, fiddling with her braid and blushing a little. She was good at putting on a shy, flustered dork act, a deliberate act to play up her more casual nature in her secret identity. “I didn’t see you there.”

“You seemed to be staring off into space there,” Hans remarked. “Care for a drink?”

“No, I’m driving myself home tonight,” Elsa responded.

“Really?” Hans remarked. “I’d have figured you’d have gotten your butler to handle it.”

“Kai has the night off, visiting some old girlfriend of his,” Elsa explained. Kai had been working himself too hard down in Elsa’s hideout of late, so she’d given him the night off.

“Fair enough,” Hans admitted, walking up beside her. “So… what do you suspect my chances are?”

“Of what?”

“Winning the election.”

“Oh,” Elsa said. “Well, the election isn’t for another month or so Hans. There’s still plenty of time to go.”

“Yes, but as you’re my largest donor, you must have a lot of faith in me,” Hans stated, looking smugly.

Elsa rolled her eyes. She had to at least humour the man. “Well, since you asked so nicely… I think you’re the city’s best chance. You’ve actually got policies that seem to be what the city needs. The others just want to uphold the status quo that has caused so many innocent people to suffer.”

“Why thank you.” Hans said, sipping his drink “Though I think an endorsement from that wonderful hero Fenris would probably seal the deal for me in this election.”

Elsa chuckled. “I don’t think superheroes are meant to give that sort of political statement.”

“True, but she’s done more good for this city in the last three years than anyone else… well except…” The two of them then saw a woman with short dark hair and wearing a rather snazzy tuxedo walking towards them. Though she didn’t exactly look very comfortable here.

“Commissioner Espinosa, good to see you here!”

“Westergard,” the commissioner replied flatly.

Elsa smiled. Cassandra Espinosa was one of Elsa’s closest friends, one of the few people she shared her secret with. Despite Cassandra being a policewoman, she was actually living up to what a police officer should be, not someone who gleefully enacted brutality on innocent people, values much more like those of her father, the previous commissioner.

“Enjoying the party?” Hans wondered. “You must not get a chance like this often other than maybe the annual policeman’s ball.”

“To tell you the truth, I’m only here because we got a tip earlier that someone might be targeting you tonight,” Cass stated. “You have pretty lax security here.”

“Cass, I’ve helped to put away some of the nastiest criminals in this city, I’ve learned to live with people wanting to kill me. One more threat against my life isn’t going to change that.”

“Mr Westerguard?” someone called to him from the crowd. “The governor wants to talk to you!”

“Oh, excellent,” Hans replied. “Ladies, if you’ll excuse me.”

As Hans left, Elsa and Cassandra stood alone, Cass leaning against the wall and sighing. Elsa leaned close to her, wanting to give her friend some reassurance.

“Good man, but I wish he’d look out for himself more,” she remarked. “Anything on your end, Els?”

“Not exactly,” Elsa admitted. “I’m starting to think tonight might be a quiet night for once.” She smirked playfully. “At least you got to wear your tux again.”

“Yeah well, take a look while it lasts,” Cass grumbled.

“I know my cousin would,” Elsa remarked. “Surprised Raps isn’t with you tonight.”

“Yeah well, after what happened the last time I took her out,” Cass remarked. “I figured it best she stayed at home.”

Elsa sighed. Cassandra was dating her cousin and childhood best friend Rapunzel. A few months back, while the two were on a date, a sniper hired by a mob boss had tried to assassinate Cassandra. They’d failed, but Rapunzel had been gravely injured. Elsa didn’t blame her for wanting to keep her cousin safe.

“Still, aren’t you two planning to tie the knot soon?” Elsa wondered. “You’ve been together long enough.”

“I… I don’t know,” Cass admitted. “It’s hard finding a good balance between her and my work. I’m worried marriage might… complicate things.”

“I know how you feel,” Elsa replied. “It’s why I’ve honestly never had much luck with relationships myself.” That was a lie. There was one woman in the world she still loved… though she was partly ashamed to admit it, even to Cassandra.

Suddenly, the entire building started to shake. Elsa thought there was an earthquake and quickly grabbed onto something. There was panic and commotion across the ballroom, Cassandra grabbing onto a nearby wall for support. Screams and cries filled the room.

“What the fuck is going on?!” Cass shouted.

Elsa tried to reach for her watch, but she found there was no need to, as she then saw several large vines rising up from the side of the building pressing against the windows. She gasped, looking straight at Cass in terror as a dark shadow overwhelmed them.

“CASS LOOK OUT!” Elsa shouted, tackling Cass to the ground as the vine crashed through the window.

All across the ballroom, there was utter chaos as the gigantic vines smashed into the room, knocking people over left and right, firmly entrenching themselves into the walls of the building.

In the middle of the room, the largest of the gigantic vines smashed through the window, a gigantic flower at its tip. As it stopped in its tracks, the large flower burst open, releasing a gas that caused all those around it to cough and splutter. Through the smoke, a figure emerged from the blooming pink flower, a rather revealing woman in a skintight pink and purple outfit with green highlights and long red hair.

“Rosethorn,” Cass whispered.

Elsa blushed and looked away. Anna… why now…

“You gonna deal with her?” Cass wondered.

Nodding reluctantly, Elsa looked at Cass. “Try and keep her distracted, but don’t hurt her too bad… she’s still my sister.”

“Elsa, she’s trying to kill people!” Cass argued in a hushed whisper.

“I can see that but she’s still family!” Elsa rasped.

Cass grumbled. “You know if she was my sister, I wouldn’t hesitate but fine, I’ll make sure I won’t do any permanent damage to her.”

“Thank you,” Elsa said gratefully, before she quickly ran out of the room, Cass pulling her pistol from her pocket.

Elsa rushed out of the bathroom, making her way through the panicking, scared crowds. As she arrived in the room, she looked at herself in the mirror, making sure she was alone.

To think that tonight she’d have to face her sister again. The two sisters had always been close as children, virtually inseparable. But that all had changed one fateful night. Her wealthy parents had taken Elsa out to see a movie, but Anna had to stay home and do her homework.

Anna had been spared in a way, as on their way home from the movies, Elsa and her parents were attacked by a mugger. The mugger had killed their parents without a second thought, gunning them down. In a rage… something had awoken inside of Elsa, a power that no other human had.

As she got older, she learned how to control this power, a power to manipulate ice and snow to her whim. She soon discovered that some people had the rare chance of being born with such powers, people who were later dubbed Metahumans. While Elsa’s had been the power to control ice, Anna’s power was somewhat different.

A few months after the funeral, Elsa had discovered Anna’s powers had awakened as well, the power to control plants and other forms of vegetation. As elated as Anna was at using her new powers, Elsa was worried about her, about them both. At this time, Elsa had decided to hone her powers and train herself in the arts of combat and science so she might one day fight to protect the innocent people of Arendelle City, so that no other child would go through what she and Anna had.

Anna on the other hand… was a different story. Her plant-based powers had made her infatuated with nature. At first, Elsa was glad that Anna was using her love for nature to cope with her parents’ grief. But as they got older, Anna started to get more involved in environmental work.

More than once, Elsa had to bail Anna out of jail for getting involved in protests and the like. She worried Anna was going down a dark path. Yes, protecting the environment was a noble goal… but Anna seemed obsessed. And then one night, Elsa’s worst fears were confirmed when she found Anna attempting to strangle the CEO of one of her business partners.

“Anna let him go!”

“No, he has to pay! All their kind have to pay! They’re choking the planet to death, Elsa, and no one is doing a damn thing about it!”

“And that justifies you being a murderer?!”

“Why do you care? I thought you’d be happy seeing scum like this die, after what happened to our parents!”

“What?! Anna, No!”

And then Anna had used her vine to snap the man’s neck. A fight broke out between them, Elsa blasting Anna with her ice powers… and leaving a permanent mark in the form of a white streak in her hair. Elsa looked down, wondering when this nightmare would end.

She loved Anna, she always had… but at this point she had to accept that her sister was truly dead, replaced by a monster that now called herself Rosethorn.

Pressing a button on her watch, Elsa watched it transform into a device that released dozens of tiny nanobots that she then rearranged and merged with her ice, forming a wolf-themed armour and long cape that completed concealed her body, the symbol of her alter ego, Fenris appearing on her chest.

Elsa looked at her masked face in the mirror, glaring sternly. “This will be the last friend of mine you hurt, Anna. I swear it.”

———————————————————————————-

Anna grinned wickedly as she sat on her throne of vines as her large tendrils wrapped themselves around the building, bursting through the windows of the ballroom. She watched as the pitiful humans ran in fear, taking a certain delight in what was happening.

Rich fools. Their kind loved to pollute and terrorise the environment, now they would know what it was like to be terrorised. The large pods on the side of the vine that Anna was riding on burst open, releasing toxic gas into the room that caused those surrounding the tendril to cough and splutter.

But while watching the humans suffer was delightful, she had a more important goal in mind, one of these pathetic fools in particular. Hans Westerguard was running for his life, trying to make it to a nearby door. However, Anna sent one of her vines forward, blocking his path.

"Now where are you off to, Mr Westerguard?” Anna sultrily remarked, getting off her throne. “We have important business to discuss.”

Hans turned, realising he’d have to hold her off. “What do you want, Anna?”

“Why, my dear, you of course,” Anna said, stroking the underside of his chin with her gloved hand. “I’ve waited a long time for this.”

“Look, Anna, I know I’ve made mistakes, but this isn’t right?”

“Isn’t right?!” Anna yelled. “Oh, it is very much right, Mr Distrct Attourney. You lined your pockets with all the greedy fuckers in this town who destroy and pollute the earth around you, who tore up innocent grassland to build a Metahuman prison where I was tortured!”

“They were trying to help you!”

“Help me?! I don’t need help!” Anna growled, wrapping tendrils around his neck. “I’ve dedicated my life to protecting this planet and all of its natural beauty. If that’s so wrong, then I’d prefer not to be right.”

Hans choked and gagged, struggling to breathe. “Anna… Ack!”

“What’s that Hans? I can’t quite hear you over the innocent people you’ve stepped on!” Anna growled. Suddenly, she heard a loud gunshot. A bullet flew through the air and pierced one of the tendrils around Hans’s neck. Anna screamed, feeling the pain like it was one of her own limbs as Hans was freed.

Cassandra, along with a few other out of uniform police officers and security guards, had arrived, taking aim at Anna with their pistols. “Come quietly, Rosethorn!”

“You’d protect him, officers?!” Anna remarked. “Such a deplorable monster who would be better off locked up in jail?”

“Look who’s talking, red,” Cass growled. “Put down the tentacles and I promise you, you won’t get hurt.”

“Dear, dear commissioner,” Anna chuckled. “I have no intention of doing anything of the sort. However

"Then, I’ll take you out as well!” Anna roared, sending another flurry of vines at the officers, the ends of the tendrils opening into mouths full of razor-sharp teeth.

The vines disarmed the other officers quickly, one of them literally disarming one man, spewing blood all over the ground from the severed limb. Not wanting to suffer the same fate, Cass quickly ducked out of the way, unloading a few bullets from her pistol into two of the vines.

However, she wasn’t fast enough, as a third quickly rushed up behind her. But Cass could be attacked by the vine, a blast of icy wind quickly froze the tentacles and a sharp sword made of a mix of ice and metal quickly slashed them apart. Fenris then stood, her wolf-like appearance and glowing blue visor making for an intimidating look.

“Ah, my dear arch enemy,” Anna said with a laugh. “Figured you’d be coming to the rescue of the oppressors.”

“The only person oppressing people is you, Rosethorn,” Fenris stated, pulling out her sword. She looked over at Hans, who was stumbling to his feet. “You alright, Mr Westerguard?”

“Fine, now that you’re here,” he groaned.

Rosethorn cackled. “I think it’s time I dealt with you first, my frozen foe. Let’s see if this will melt your icy armour!” She then sent out one of her tendrils behind Elsa, which shot out a glob of acid.

Hans’s eyes widened. “Look out!” He yelled, to which Elsa was barely able to react in time. Hans then leapt in the path of the glob of acid… and was struck in the face. He screamed and cried out in pain, writhing on the floor as the acid melted his face.

“Hans!” Fenris exclaimed, rushing to his side. She was almost sick at the sight of the injuries on Hans’s face.

“Oh well, I doubt he’ll be running for office anytime soon,” Anna remarked as she jumped onto one of her tendrils. “Time for me to make like a tree and leaf.”

Elsa turned to look at Anna, then she gazed down at Hans, who was still in agony. Cassandra rushed to Hans’s side, looking up at her.

“Go after her, I’ll take care of Hans and the wounded,” she reassured her.

“Thank you,” Elsa replied, before she then got up and rushed after Anna, the latter’s tentacles retracting from the building and coalescing into some kind of gigantic tentacled plant creature that leapt across the rooftops. Elsa stared at the Lovecraftian horror that Anna was controlling, wondering how powerful Anna was now.

Leaping from the window, Elsa used her ice powers to alter the shape of her cape into a pair of icy wings and activated jet boosters in her boots that sent her flying through the sky after Anna. Summoning her ice sword, she slashed through one of the tentacles.

Anna cried out as her creature rocked about from the loss of one of its limbs. “Gah!!”

“Take this!” Elsa shouted, blasting the tentacled creature with her powers. The creature managed to dodge the attack and one of its tendrils wrapped around Elsa, throwing her down onto a nearby rooftop. Anna then leapt down from her creature, summoning blades made of thorns that she slashed at Elsa with.

Elsa brought out her ice sword again, clashing it against Anna’s blade. Anna summoned her tentacles again, trying to attack Elsa with them. Elsa turned around, quickly taking out all the tentacles with ice spikes that brought Anna to her knees with pain, as Elsa quickly blasted her tentacle creature apart with an icy blast.

Reeling from the pain, Anna then screamed in agony her eyes glowing a sickening green as a gigantic tendril burst from the ground beneath them, quickly wrapping around Elsa tightly. The blonde tried to fight, but this tendril’s grip was much tighter, Anna pouring all her strength into it.

“How about a little spin!” Anna cried out, commanding her tentacle to spin Elsa round and round as fast as it could, before launching her into the sky. Elsa screamed as she was flung across an entire city block. She eventually landed though, crashing into an abandoned building a few streets away, smashing through a window.

As she rolled on the floor in pain, Elsa grunted. “Damage report.”

“Nanosuit integrity at 65%,” her suits onboard computer reported. “Minor external and internal injuries, recommend evasive action.”

“No way,” Elsa argued. “Anna’s madness ends tonight one way or another.”

“Where are you?~” Anna called out in a sing-songy voice. Elsa grunted, and rushed into a nearby stairwell, cloaking her retreat with an icy mist. She headed down a nearby stairwell, panting heavily. She was still shaken up from the impact, but she needed to get away from Anna.

If she could lull Anna into a false sense of security, she could jump her and take her out easily. But of course, she needed the essence of surprise first. She looked in the corner of her eyes, watching Anna’s tentacles quickly rushing down the stairs. She ducked into another room to avoid them.

Using the technology in her mask, Elsa scanned the building around her. This was once an office building, which meant large open rooms, not many places to hide.

“Don’t think you can hide from me for long, ” she heard Anna’s voice again. “I’ll always find you, my dear sister.”

Elsa didn’t respond, merely continuing to scan the room. Eventually, she managed to find herself an air vent. It didn’t take much effort to freeze the grate and smash it apart so she could climb inside. Crawling up the vent, Elsa rested and panted. Anna likely wouldn’t be able to find her here.

“What’s the matter, Elsa?” Anna remarked. “Nothing to say to your dear sister?”

“My sister is dead!” Elsa shouted, crawling down the air vent.

“Yeah right, keep telling yourself that,” Anna told her. “You should be grateful I haven’t blown your secret identity by now.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“Because I still carry a torch for you, Elsa,” Anna argued. “Hell, part of me once hoped we could do this together, make the world pay for what it’s done. To itself… to us.”

“I’m not a killer,” Elsa replied, crawling further. She looked through her visor, seeing that Anna was directly in the room below her, vines surrounding her. She had the element of surprise now.

“Neither was Hans, yet he’s just as guilty as one, what with his connections and dirty money,” Anna argued. “No one in this world is innocent, Elsa.”

“Says the woman who just burned a man’s face off with acid!” Elsa argued, crashing through a nearby vent right behind Anna. She rushed up with her ice sword and slashed at Anna, razor-sharp thorns then extending from Anna’s gloves to act as Claws. The two sisters fought one another.

It was surprising how evenly matched they were. Elsa had trained herself to the physical peak, while Anna had enhanced her own strength and agility thanks to her many, many plant-based serums. However, in this particular round, Anna was able to get the upper hand, as her tentacles managed to knock Elsa back, smashing her mask apart. Before it could regenerate, Anna slashed Elsa’s face with her claws.

Elsa grunted as she clutched her cheek in pain, blood oozing from it. Her suit was much too damaged at this point to start regenerating itself, leaving her at Anna’s mercy.

“Don’t think of trying to move, Elsa,” Anna replied, walking closer to her. “My thorns were tipped with poison. Not strong enough to kill you, mind you, oh no, I don’t want to kill my beautiful sister. But it’ll make you as weak as a kitten.”

Tentacles wrapped around Elsa, restraining her to the floor. The tentacles pressed against Elsa’s face, forcing her to look up as Anna stood above her. Elsa felt her heart beating as she gazed at Anna. As she looked into Anna’s eyes, she was reminded of her sister.

How beautiful and sweet she was, how much she wanted to protect her and love her, more than a sister would. But that was a lifetime ago. And yet… part of her wanted this, a part of herself that ashamed Elsa. Anna leaned in, caressing Elsa’s cheek, bringing her face closer and closer.

“You want this, don’t you?” she whispered. “You can still be a hero with me, Elsa. Only you’ll be a hero who actually makes a difference instead of upholding the pathetic status quo.”

“I won’t become… a murderer!” Elsa spat, Anna retreating.

“Why are you so against killing?!” Anna shouted. “Just accept that for things to be right in the world, some people just have to die! The corrupt CEOs, the politicians who line their pockets with dirty money while they let corporations pollute the planet!”

“There are laws, Anna!” Elsa argued. “They can be held accountable for their crimes!”

“And how often does that happen?” Anna replied. “Sure, you’re making change, but it’s not fast enough. The planet is already choking to death and in order to save it, more… radical action must be taken.”

“You don’t think I don’t know that, Anna!” Elsa argued.

“Then why don’t you do something about it!” Anna shouted.

“Because…” Elsa stopped herself.

“Because what?”

Elsa looked down. She had never shared this with Anna, this secret she’d kept buried for all these years. But if she was going to die here… then she should die with Anna knowing how much she never wanted this, for either of them.

“Because… I know what it’s like to feel tempted to take such action,” Elsa replied. “Because I’ve…. I’ve killed before.”

“That’s a lie,” Anna argued. “You said it yourself that you aren’t a killer.”

“No, *that* was the lie,” Elsa insisted. “Do you… do you know what happened to the person who shot our parents, Anna?”

“He… He got away,” Anna said, her voice shaky. “You said the cops found no sign of him. It’s… It’s what started me down this path, of wanting to get my own sense of justice.”

“I… I lied to the police, Anna,” Elsa expressed. “That night, after that bastard shot our parents, something inside of me awoke, something powerful… I lashed out at the guy as he ran and I… I froze him solid and he shattered before my eyes, Anna. The moment I first used my powers… I killed someone.”

“I…” Anna was stunned by the revelation.

“I regretted it, I didn’t want to indulge in the anger that I felt that night,” Elsa expressed. “I didn’t want to become a mindless monster, a killer. I’d be no better than the man I killed, perpetuating an endless cycle of violence. That’s why I did my best to stop you going down that path.”

“And… I failed,” Anna realised, tearing up. “All this time… I thought you didn’t understand me, that you thought I was crazy… but in reality, you cared about me more than anyone.”

“I even pleaded against the rough torture you had in prison,” Elsa expressed. “They wouldn’t listen to me. Don’t you get it, Anna? I love you, more than anyone else in the world… but I can’t let you hurt anyone ever again.”

“I… I love you too,” Anna whispered. She started to cry more and with a flick of her wrist, her vines let Elsa go. “Please… just go.”

“Anna… I can’t go,” Elsa argued. “I need to bring you in.”

“No, I won’t go back to prison again!” Anna argued. “Why can’t anyone have seen that I was doing good… why didn’t you try and help me!” She broke down in tears and wrapped her arms around Elsa. Her villainous persona had completely broken and for the first time in years, Elsa saw her sister again.

Wrapping her arms around Anna, Elsa stroked her sister’s hair, listening to the sound of Anna’s shaky breathing as she held her. God, she hadn’t held Anna like this in… well she’d honestly forgotten it was so long. But to have Anna, her Anna, let her do this… it felt rewarding to her.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” Anna whispered. “I’ve been such a fool… I’ve been going at this so wrong.”

“Shhhh,” Elsa whispered, going fully into her big sister mode. “Everything’s gonna be okay… I’m going to be right here, Anna, like I’ve always been.”

Anna pulled away and the two sisters gazed into each other’s eyes, holding one another close. Both of them felt gravity pulling them together, part of them knowing that they needed the other now. Yes, they had been enemies… but now, perhaps they were something different.

And then… Elsa and Anna leaned in and shared a tender, passionate kiss. Neither of them knew what was in for the two of them next, but at this moment, all they wanted was to be together, as they kept kissing in the light of the moon shimmering through a nearby window, tears streaming down both of their cheeks.

[mastreworld]

Be nosy-

1-50

I'm very nosy! 😛

That took me a second but here they are:

1. What’s your sexual orientation?

Grey-asexual, aro-adjacent, and bi... something (it’s complicated)

2. What are you obsessed with right now?

Playing Sims 2, but I feel like it’s about to shift. Not sure what’s next.

3. Ever done any drugs?

Not beyond alcohol, no. I wouldn’t be against trying space cake one day but that’s more for curiosity's sake.

4. What piercings do you want?

I have one in each ear; can’t think of any other I’d like to have.

5. How many people have you kissed?

Not sure... between 5 and 10 maybe? I’ve never been a fan of kissing tbh.

6. Describe your dream home.

With a space for everything so it doesn’t get so /#(&% cluttered.

7. Who are you jealous of?

No one that I can think of.

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

Don’t have one right now. I’ve been watching “Cold Case” but that’s not really a show you can binge on since it’s so tragic. I do occasionally go on a “Final Destination” binge-watch though.

9. Do you watch porn?

No, I gave up on that decades ago because it was all so boring and disappointing. I can, however, enjoy gifs and pics.

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

Not secret but I have a cat-blog @cattyfelines , one writing @mastrewritingupdates and one @naughtymastre that I no longer update because tumblr fucked it up in their sex-negativity 🙄

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

That... I really don’t know. I support teleporting as a way of traveling though.

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

To snuggle up against Loki in bed with my face against his neck, his arms around me and my leg over his hip... sorry, got a bit carried away in the details, heh.

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

Absolutely not! *shudder*

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

Making sure that I and my daughter remain financially secure for the foreseeable future. I would also finally feel free to donate to any causes I want to support, so I don’t feel so powerless in the world.

15. Are you in a relationship?

Nope, and I prefer singlehood.

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

I did, but they seem to have disappeared so I guess they got tired of Tumblr’s fuckery and moved elsewhere.

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

Not unless I allow myself to think about it. My anger gets triggered by bullies and bigots, especially if they act controlling.

18. What tattoos do you want?

One of Loki’s helmet and the words “God of Mischief” and possibly one with some kind of cat.

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

I changed my first name slightly by omitting part of it and just leaving “Marie” back in my twenties. I also tried to change my last name to “Strega” but the patent laws in my country wouldn’t allow it so I added it as a second first name instead (and use it in informal situations.)

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

Nutritional science keeps coming back in my obsessions. As does various languages I want to learn.

21. Describe your best friend.

Lives in India, writes naughty Loki fics, and sent me a box of beautiful things recently 🥰 She’s also adorable.

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

Uhm...@MCU Loki?

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

Meatloaf, Buffy Sainte-Marie, FR David, Modern Talking, Belinda Carlisle... though I’m more into individual pieces than artists.

24. What are three places you want to travel?

I’m really not much for traveling but it might be fun to go back to London one day. Also considering visiting Amsterdam at some point. And I’m getting curious about India.

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

All alone. Snacks at the ready. Favorite music. Indulging shamelessly in one of my favorite games.

26. What’s your favorite season?

Summer.

27. What’s your pet peeve?

People who won’t respect the word “No” (or boundaries in general).

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

I’m originally Swedish so my thoughts revert to Magnus Härenstam and Brasse Brännsström, lol. There might be someone more recent but it’ll pop up after I’ve posted this, most likely.

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

Probably “Thor Ragnacrap”.

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

Can’t. I’d just disappoint them due to not being able to keep up the contact.

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

After careful consideration and trying out both, I prefer paper books. E-books are practical though, so I still have some.

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

Don’t know... Probably one of my own making.

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

Tailored to my taste and body shape. Soft materials. Black pants and short jackets. Colorful tops. A mix of masculine and feminine. Comfortable shoes with heels.

34. What’s your coffee order?

None, I can’t stand coffee.

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

None beyond Loki. I crush easily but mostly on fictional characters since they are more interesting.

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

Nope. They killed those thoroughly.

37. Have any tattoos?

Not yet. Maybe I get around to it someday.

38. Do you drink?

Rarely. I drink wine when invited somewhere and I like sweet dessert wines and creamy liqueurs, but I can’t have more than two glasses or I get sleepy.

39. Are you a virgin?

No, that was a long time ago.

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

Nope, but I feel affectionate towards them.

41. How many followers do you have?

1661 as of this moment.

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

Slender, black hair, male but with a bit of an androgynous vibe. Intense.

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Sweet-tasting food.

44. Do you read erotica?

In the form of fanfic smut, yes. I rarely come across anything good among mainstream books.

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

Never officially dated, so can’t say.

46. How many people do you follow?

213

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

Uh... I don’t do marriage.

48. Describe your ideal partner.

Respectful, kind, open-minded, and quiet. Dominant and feral in bed.

49. Who do you text the most?

My disability coach, lol.

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Sunny without being hot.

This was fun!

[itszephoria]

Saw this pop up and your followers ask you which ones they’re interested in. But people don’t really ask much when I post or they don’t ask the ones that might make you feel uncomfortable. And well, honestly I’m so bored that I’ve decided to break all the damn rules and just answer all the questions because I can. *shock horror*

So information dump on the ‘Be nosy’ that popped up in my feed today. If you’re interested.

Be nosy

1. What’s your sexual orientation? 

Straight. But maybe for the right woman I could sway but wouldn’t go so far as to call myself bi or bi-curious though.

2. What are you obsessed with right now? 

Obsessively obsessing about my health and how to get well and failing it all. Oh and anime movies on Netflix.

3. Ever done any drugs?

I do drugs everyday. But I assume this is referring to illegal. No and was strictly no up until recently. I now take marijuana oil on a regular basis for pain management. Also being stoned/high is not pleasant and I don’t understand why people would enjoy that as a leisurely pastime.

4. What piercings do you want?

I want to get my ears pierced again. Holes have closed up, but currently due to my health that’s not possible. I can’t even enjoy clipons :(

5. How many people have you kissed?

The massive number of 5.

6. Describe your dream home.

It’s tiny in the sense it has all the space I need. A cosy tiny-like home. But not one on wheels, fixed to the ground. And it would be made of all natural materials, stone and wood. It would be unique and resemble something out of a fairy tale. It would sit a beautiful clearing with only nature to view in the distance and all the animals and wildlife would stay well away because I’m pretty much terrified of all it, 

7. Who are you jealous of?

Healthy, painfree people. I am jealous of past me who didn’t realise how lucky she was and miss her.

8. What’s your favorite show to binge?

I don’t binge any show on repeat. I’d rather look for a new show to watch or enjoy, there are so many. The last shows I binged in two days was Queen’s Gambit and Emily in Paris.

9. Do you watch porn?

Yep. But struggle with it because it’s overdramatic, unrealistic and would kill or someone to make porn with a decent storyline with people that can act. 

I prefer to read it if I’m honest or maybe just write it for myself.

10. Do you have a secret sideblog?

Sort of? More like my other one I used I was known for all my slash writings in F1. But now I just hang out here.

11. If you could teleport anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

No where. The world is riddled with co-vid and well, I’m probably in one of the safest countries and I’m at risk of death should I catch it. So I’ll stay here in my safe bubble.

12. What’s one of your fantasies?

I wake up tomorrow and I’m not me. I wake up and I can take a deep breath without gasping for air, I wake up in no pain, I wake up and my body isn’t terribly scared, I wake up and can have a ‘normal’ life.

13. Do you have/would you get your nipples pierced?

Nope and no desire too. Won’t that just hurt?

14. How would you spend a million dollars?

I’d by that dream house I described, set everything up to be self sufficient. Pay and travel to try every cure available for my diseases. And then bank the rest and live off interest. Or maybe donate it. I don’t want money and I don’t really want a lot of things.

15. Are you in a relationship?

Yep and it’s a struggle and am constantly fighting to prove it’s worth continuing. Oh and that’s a relationship with myself.

16. Do you follow porn blogs?

No.

17. Are you angry with anyone right now?

No, I suppose it’s more disappointed and let down by people more than angry. I’m working everyday on letting it go but it’s not easy.

18. What tattoos do you want?

I have always wanted one, but have never found something that I really loved and haven’t been imaginative enough to create something unique. The older I get though, I’m not sure I want one. I did for the longest time though think about getting a Ferrari tattooed on my inner wrist, but pleased I never did that. I don’t love the sport or Ferrari enough anymore to want a permanent reminder of that.

19. If you could change your name, would you? What would you change it to?

I am changing name actually. Hoping to action that in the next two weeks. I would have done it earlier but they closed the borders. I have a dutch sir name that has two words. It confuses every one, systems don’t get it, it has caused issues with plane tickets. And well I’ve decided no more and am dumping a portion of it.

20. What is something you’re obsessed with?

This is a duplicate. Skipping.

21. Describe your best friend.

When you meet her for the first time she can be a little crazy and wild, and she kind of scared at me first because she’s so unlike me. But as you got to know her, the *real* her she doesn’t let people see, you realise how kind and soft she is, and she’s the most empathic person I have known. She gives so much of herself to everyone, thinks so little of herself and her needs because she’s one of the most selfless people I know. I love her more than most of my family and would do anything for her.

22. Tag someone you think is hot.

Is this followers? Uh most I don’t know what they look like? I assume they’re all hot!

23. Who are five of your favorite bands/musical artists?

Don’t have any really. My music is varied and is based on my mood and really changes around. And with most bands, I generally lean towards one or two songs. This is one of those questions I really struggle with whenever I see it. Will say however, have been enjoying The Beatles recently and a bit of old school stuff.

24. What are three places you want to travel?

Japan. Norway. Canada.

25. Describe your perfect Friday night.

Generally hanging out with people I like. Enjoying a good wine, some cheese, either playing some board game or dungeons and dragons, or watching a really good movie. Good company makes any night a good night.

26. What’s your favorite season?

Autumn. One because I think it’s neglected as a choice and every season should be loved, and two because I love the colours of autumn and the colours associated with autumn. 

27. What’s your pet peeve?

I’m sure I have a heap of them, but currently it’s people that have an issue with you and instead of being an adult and talking to you about them choose to silence and blank you. I’m so tired of it, I’ve quit being peacemaker in those situations, those people are no longer worthy in my book.

28. Who is the funniest person you know?

Uh... I don’t think anyone I know is super funny. Friends and family all have a good sense of humor. But out of my circle of life people I’m always told I’m the funny one, which I find the biggest joke ever. 

29. What’s the most overrated movie?

Can not think of anything off the top of my head. I will say if I think a movie is getting too much hype I refuse to watch it, whether all the reviews are raving or not. It’s why I didn’t watch Harry Potter for like ten years or any of the new Star Wars movies. I just refuse to be apart of all the hype and jump on bandwagons.

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message.

I’d love to talk to everyone. I’m shy to start any conversations to be honest and I think all the people I talk to regularly were the first to message me, and I love them for it.

31. Do you like paper books or ebooks better?

100% love an old fashioned paper book. The texture of the paper. The smell of a book. That being said, I don’t think I’ve picked up a proper book to read in years. I live in fan fiction more than anything or am busy writing myself.

32. If you could live in a fictional world, what world would you pick?

Any of the disney worlds, anything from the past, or verging on fantasy like. I want a simpler time not full of technology which I grow to hate more each day. The older I get the more I’m pretty sure I’ve been born in the wrong decade.

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like?

I’d build the perfect wardrobe capsule. Everything would be of high quality, not necessarily brand name and all the clothes would be sourced from ethical businesses or be handmade.

I like classic pieces, love the fashion of the 50′s and 60s and while stylish it would be comfortable to wear and everything could be worn in public (sorry comfy tracky pants).

34. What’s your coffee order?

There ain’t no coffee order. I don’t drink it. Sorry @leoni-speedyf1 I know how addicted you are to it, happy to buy you anything you like though :P

35. Do you have a crush on anyone?

In real life? No one.

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes?

Not romantic. I have feelings in that I hope they’re doing well, achieving what they want and they’re all happy. I didn’t have any ‘bad’ breakups and all my relationships ended very amicably.

37. Have any tattoos?

No. See above for more on this.

38. Do you drink?

Rarely. Can’t with medication and condition. But on occasion I do enjoy a good glass of red. Pinot Noir is my preference. 

39. Are you a virgin?

Nope.

40. Do you have a crush on any of your mutuals?

Not in a romantic way? The ones I talk to regularly I love immensely though.

41. How many followers do you have?

99

42. Describe the hottest person you know.

Uh all the men I know I am not attracted to. Probably a good thing as they’re either family or partnered with a friend or family member.

43. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Can’t think of anything. I try not to feel guilt for anything I enjoy to be honest, whether it’s food or an activity. Life is too short for that.

44. Do you read erotica?

Yep. Even write it.

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?

It was a few years back. I met this guy online and we went to the city and spent most of that time just strolling next to the river for our first meet up. Why was it the worst date ever? Well it wasn’t the location that’s for sure.

The guy had two kids, and I’m a firm believer all parents have favourites, though I have yet to meet a parent that will voice that aloud. This guy, had no qualms with telling me about this favourite kid, and that wouldn’t be a problem if didn’t spend just as much putting down his younger son. It kind of left me reeling and wondering how his son felt if his dad didn’t hide just how much he didn’t like him as a person. The kid was four and the reason his dad didn’t like him was because he didn’t like bikes.

And so the guy was a bmx rider so he spent the rest of the time on our walk just pointing out all the tricks he could do. He didn’t ask about me, only talked about himself. It was also lunch time and assumed we would get something to eat together, but nope, no food was offered. And when I suggested to get something to drink because it was so hot and we’d been out in the sun for like an hour, he just took me to a subway and told me to get a drink and waved me to the line. No offer to join me, no offer to pay (which doesn’t bother me btw, but this was capping off a terrible day), no offer to get food.

I was so happy to get out of there. Didn’t speak to him again once I had left.

46. How many people do you follow?

I currently follow 59 people. I don’t follow anyone that creates drama, and try and follow only people that post about F1 as that’s all I use tumblr for now.

47. If you could marry any celebrity, who would you pick?

Either Sebastian Vettel or Ryan Reynolds. Both are married though, so I don’t think that’s going to turn into a reality anytime soon.

48. Describe your ideal partner.

I want someone that shares the same core values as me. Doesn’t want kids, isn’t super religious (grew up in a cult like religion so I avoid it now), is on the minimalist side and isn’t someone that needs new things things all the time or is desperate to replace something the moment they deem it out of date. Someone that doesn’t live their life on social media. Someone that prefers simple things, someone who is kind and giving, and someone that truly loves me - and it’s the last part that I struggle with finding more than anything with all the guys I have dated. 

I am currently not looking for a partner, I am not in a place for a relationship and am fully focused on myself. And I am very content with that decision.

49. Who do you text the most?

Currently my bestie.

50. What’s your favorite kind of weather?

Clear blue skies and a warm day to enjoy the sun. But there are times when I simply love the rain, hearing it on the room, watching it fall endlessly and knowing that everything will be green from it.

[the-dubstep-strawberry]

Innocent or Guilty

Tagged by @kittinkanin​, with thanks! I have already done Margot in a previous outing, so this time I’m going to try one of my other OCs from the Margotverse! Today I’ve picked the future Mrs. Maxson... I regret the lack of screenshots as I haven’t made her in-game, but imagine a smaller, geeky, adorable version of her cousin, Sarah Lyons.

Scribe Gwendolyn “Gwen” Harper

Asked someone to marry you? - Innocent - although she volunteered for marriage when word got out that Arthur Maxson, as a single man in possession of a large fortune - and an entire faction - must be in want of a wife.

Kissed one of your friends? - Innocent, but only just. She developed a crush on Knight Oliver Lowden, one of the men assigned to protect her when she was sent to the Citadel to be schooled in diplomacy, manners and all the other things a future Elder’s wife needs to know. There may or may not have been a near-miss.

Danced on a table in a bar or tavern? - Innocent. Until her departure for the Citadel, she had spent her entire life in the Brotherhood’s bunker in Lost Hills and had never even seen the surface. She was also only nineteen at the time of arriving on the Prydwen, so she’s not really had much experience in the drinking department.

Ever told a lie? - Guilty, but probably only small ones.

Had feelings for someone whom you can’t have? - Guilty... she was starting to fall pretty hard for her own bodyguard, but had already resigned herself to the fact that she’d volunteered for an arranged marriage. She was also somewhat disappointed to note that, while rather sad that she was leaving, the guy she was crushing on didn’t seem too keen on asking her to stay either. All in all, she decided that it just wasn’t meant to be. Besides, destiny awaits her and Shakespeare-quoting Arthur Maxson is kind of cute now that she’s getting to know him...

Ever kissed someone of the opposite sex? - Guilty. She has already surprised Arthur with an unexpected kiss. More to follow without a doubt.

Ever kissed someone of the same sex? - Innocent.

Kissed a picture? - Innocent.

Slept in until 5pm? - Innocent except in cases of illness. Staying in bed late in the Lost Hills bunker was not encouraged when everyone had an assigned role to play, and so sleeping in was a very rare occurrence.

Fallen asleep at work or school? - Guilty. She had a habit of daydreaming frequently as a much younger member of the Brotherhood, and occasionally even fell asleep in classes or training after staying up much late to read. She loves Pre-War books, especially fairytales and similar stories, and simply had to find out whether the fair maiden and the handsome prince ever found the happily-ever-after they were looking for!

Held a snake? - Innocent. Exposure to the wildlife of the New California Republic was heavily discouraged even among the rank and file, and as a member of a prominent Brotherhood bloodline, she wasn’t allowed outside the confines of Lost Hills.

Been suspended from school? - Innocent. Her only real faults were a tendency to daydream or doze in class... although as an Apprentice Knight, she failed her second round of combat training after accidentally shooting her commanding officer in the backside. She was hastily recommended for the Scribe caste instead and so she joined the Order of the Quill, where her love of burying herself in old books was strongly encouraged.

Stolen something? - Guilty, but only if we’re talking about Elder Maxson’s heart.

Done something you regret? - Guilty. She was rather intimidated by Arthur Maxson on their first meeting, and started to doubt whether she had made the right choice in volunteering to be his wife. He seemed very formal and grumpy, and she began questioning whether she was really cut out for being an essential part of the Brotherhood’s command structure. However, she found an unlikely - and initially reluctant - ally in the form of Paladin Margot de Havilland, who encouraged her to give the young Elder a chance. After slowly getting to know her future husband better, she’s now quite glad she stayed.

Caught a snowflake on your tongue? - Innocent. She grew up in a bunker beneath the California desert, and has only ever read about snow in old books. She has only the vaguest idea of what it is and would be quite surprised to see it in real life!

Laughed until liquid came out of your nose? - Innocent.

Kissed in the rain? - Innocent, so far.

Sat on a roof top? - Guilty. She went up to the Citadel’s rooftops a few times with a telescope so she could watch the stars at night, or observe the ruins of Washington D.C.’s skyline. She also began assisting the Scribes in her temporary home by taking weather station readings to help with their meteorological research, and has volunteered to do the same on the Prydwen too.

Kissed someone you shouldn’t? - Innocent, although she occasionally considered kissing Knight Lowden. The only person she’s actually kissed is the one she’s supposed to, so things are going well in that department.

Sang in the shower? - Guilty.

Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? - Innocent. Again, she’s never really seen much of the outside world, and as a Brotherhood VIP and future Elder’s wife, she was closely guarded even when she finally emerged from the Lost Hills bunker. She was never allowed outside the Citadel, even with an escort, until it was time to leave for the Prydwen, and so has never had the opportunity to see a pool, much less learn how to swim!

Shaved your head? - Innocent. She spends a lot of time trying to curl her hair correctly, like the pictures of beautiful Pre-War movie stars she’s seen in old books and magazines. She’d cry for hours if she ever had to shave her head.

Slept naked? - Innocent. Brotherhood personnel are expected to be up and alert at a moment’s notice in an emergency, and so it’s not a very practical option for her.

Made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? - Innocent. The only boyfriend she’s ever had is her now-fiancé, and after all the things he’s seen and dealt with as leader of the East Coast chapter of the Brotherhood of Steel, it would take something really quite devastating to make Arthur Maxson cry.

Donated blood? - Guilty. She has an unusual family trait which makes her a highly-desirable blood donor, and being the kind soul that she is, she’s always happy to volunteer if it means assisting a brother or sister in need.

Eaten alligator meat? - Innocent.

Eaten cheesecake? - Innocent, although she’s heard rumors that there are vending machines with some sort of preserved Pre-War cake in them, and she’s curious to try one for herself.

Still loved someone you shouldn’t? - Perhaps a little guilty. She still thinks about Knight Lowden sometimes, with a touch of regret over what might have been. Still, she has bigger and better things to look forward to, so she isn’t terrible sad about it.

Have/had a tattoo? - Innocent. She doesn’t much like the idea. What if you change your mind later and decide you don’t like it?

Liked someone, but will never tell who? - Innocent. She’s disclosed her previous crush to Paladin de Havilland, although she doesn’t want to make that public knowledge and make life difficult for her former bodyguard.

Been too honest? - Guilty. She’s a very earnest and conscientious sort, but sometimes a little too open for her own good.

Ruined a surprise? - Innocent.

Eaten so much that you can��t walk after? - Innocent.

Dressed in a man’s clothes? - Guilty. She wears a distinctive Pre-War military issue coat which once belonged to a commanding officer in Mariposa, the late Colonel Spindel. It was offered first to Captain Roger Maxson, but he declined and allowed his friend and fellow officer, Lieutenant Simon Harper, to keep it instead. It was passed down the generations of Brotherhood Harpers as a family heirloom, father to son, and was eventually given to Gwen as a parting gift by her father, Scott Harper, who had no other living children.

Dressed in a woman’s clothes? - Surprisingly, innocent. She’s worn only Brotherhood-issue uniforms or Scribe robes her whole life. However, she’s dearly looking forward to her first opportunity to wear a Pre-War dress at her wedding, and can’t wait to see what it is.

Joined a pageant? - Innocent.

Still have communication with your ex? - Innocent. She’s never had a previous relationship to speak of. She might write a letter to her former bodyguard to let him know that she’s well, safe and happy, and that she sends her regards, but that’s about it.

Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who meant it? - Guilty. Although initially a little startled by her resemblance to her late cousin, Sarah, Arthur Maxson thinks she’s quite beautiful entirely in her own right.

Cheated on someone? -  Innocent. Much as she liked the romantic notion of falling in love with her own bodyguard, she was never willing to cross the line and be somehow derelict in her duty as a future Elder’s wife. She often reminds herself that she volunteered for this role, and even in occasional moments of doubt, she isn’t prepared to run away from the responsibilities she’s chosen to assume... and the more time she spends with her betrothed, the more unthinkable it becomes for her to ever want to leave the Brotherhood.

Gotten totally drunk and missed an exam? -  Innocent.

A total stranger treated you by paying your fare? -  Innocent.  

Got so angry that you cried? - Guilty on a couple of occasions, whenever she’s seen someone be cruel or unjust to another.

Tried to stay away from someone for their own good? - Innocent.  

Thought about suicide? - Innocent.

Thought about murder? - Innocent. She’s never been that angry with someone and finds violence on the whole quite shocking.

Actually murdered someone? - Innocent. She would be willing to kill in self-defense or to protect others, but hopes it never comes to that!

Thought about mass murder? - Innocent.

Actually committed a mass murder? - Innocent. As a research Scribe, she’s never killed anyone and never even been in a real battle. She’s only ever wielded weapons in training exercises.

Rode in a stranger’s vehicle? - Innocent. She knows every Vertibird pilot she’s ever flown with, to at least some degree or other.

Stalked someone? - Innocent.

Had a girlfriend? - Innocent.

Had a boyfriend? - Guilty, but she was officially assigned one in the form of Elder Maxson, so does that really count?

Gotten totally drunk during a holiday? - Innocent.

Tagging: @pchberrytea, @miss-rivia, @electriicfleur, @randomfallout4posts, and @ladynyxeris!

[roidesrosette]

Blood donation? Blood donation.

God bless @narekashi​ for coming up with this genius name and enabling me to do this, i dont blame you thou i have a lot of fun

Yes, it’s me with another of my (mayhaps) contentless OC, please enjoy while it last– Jkjk, I’ll try to throw more content of her on here instead of Discord next time :’)

BLOOD DONATION:  Salvie/Salva/Sal, short for Salvatore

Age: ??? Gender: Salvie doesn’t like to define herself as anything  Birthday: 6/24  Height: 160cm  Status: Got revived as a vampire 

PHYSICAL  Appearance: Black hair usually tied in a ponytail, red eyes, sharp teeth, a constant “you dare challenge your god?” mocking expression (but doesn’t have the intention) 

Accessories: Poker case set, saber and gun

SOCIAL  Affiliation: On her own Occupation: Salvie runs a casino and is involved in a mafia Relationships:

Count: First met him when she was “adopted” by the bunch of vampires. He was offering to give them residence, but they all turned him down. Met him again when she was touring the world alone and made him an acquaintance, they became really good friends after that.

Leonardo: Met him when she was touring in Italy with Count. He kept treating her like a small child (still do), and they would drag each other like how he and Count would. He likes messing up her hair, she likes stepping on him when he’s asleep. Also a pair of good friends.

Arthur: Arthur was interested in Salvie and find her dominating personality challenging, but he knew well enough not to lay a finger on her. You just don’t simply go against someone who could lop off your head and had associations with the mafia. On the other hand thou, they were drinking buddies, and sometimes Salvie would pick up girls with him. They gamble a lot together too.

Dazai: They have an odd relationship. It might be because they’re somehow similar in a way, they know what line not to cross. They just have this weird bond that no one can put a finger to determine what it is.

Isaac: They don’t really talk much, she only knows he really likes apple from what she heard from Dazai, but that’s probably a lie…

Theodorous: God how Salvie loves to tease and sass him. Much like Leo, they would banter every time they met, but Theo always ends up leaving, flustered. He was too young compared to her, maybe a couple more years and his bantering skills might improve. They weren’t really on good terms, especially with how Salvie was involved with Shakespeare and the goddamn mafia, plus how close she and Vincent is.

Vincent: Pure, innocent baby boy. “I’ve only met Vincent for 15 seconds and if anyone hurts him I’ll kill everyone in this room and then myself.” Absolutely adores him and prefers him over Theo. Salvie admires how innocent he was, and that nature of him would always make her worry about him. She will also give him everything he wants or needs, just to see him smile.

Sebastian: When Count first brought him to the world, she was intrigued by the human who managed to charm him. So she would frequently visit just to see how Sebas works… Until he starts digging her information. She knew his passion well and understood that, but she would prefer if Sebas exclude her from his mysterious notebook.  

Napoleon: Salvie was very interested in him, being a demi-vampire, but she does not question him about it. If he isn’t willing to say, then she had no reason to pry. Along with Jeanne, the three of them practiced sword fights from time to time. Salvie would always be fascinated by both of their skills. You could say that their relationship is quite well.

Mozart: Salvie does not talk much with Mozart, but lowkey likes his performance. She would always attend a ball or an activity if Mozart is the one playing the piano. Salvie also finds his prickly attitude fun to tease, but would rather see Arthur tease him. They would only exchange words when it comes to music and that’s it.

Jeanne: Aside from sparring with him, Salvie also supplies weapons to him. She doesn’t question why, as that was the nature of her business. She couldn’t refuse too, since business is business, and he was a resident of Count’s, which she promised the dad before that she would sponsor his residents too, because he was a friend of hers.

Shakespeare: Basically (kinda) love at first sight. Both of them were born with chaos in them, and so they attract each other. She did not meet him when he became the first resident of Count, but she did hear about it. She met him in a ball. It’s a long ass story how they get together but yeah, these two dumbasses are doing fine and dandy as a couple, have their banters and bickers sometimes but all is well. Unless….?

Paired with: William Shakespeare (Maybe…?)  

PERSONALITY 

Likes: Gambling, attending balls (especially masquerade balls), hunting, going off adventures with her beloved horse, sword fight, overly sweet stuff  

Dislikes: Following a schedule/orders, getting treated like a feeble maiden/young child, proper meal, proper sleep  

Strength: She’s superb at gambling and swinging her sword, mediocre at drinking, she aced in “not giving a shit” 

Weakness: Hides her feelings a lot, tends to distance herself from people who know her to a certain degree, can’t sleep in peace ever

Personality: Let’s just start with: Salvie is chaotic. Very chaotic. Even the name “Salvatore” already tells you she spells trouble. She doesn’t like being bound by rules, schedules or anyone’s orders, she’s a free soul who decides every step. However, she isn’t reckless, each action she took is calculated and rationally think through, as she does not wish to take a step she regrets. That careful and meticulous approach made her seem wise–despite how young she looks–mature even. Well, but sometimes Salvie could be bratty too, since “her adorable looks is the biggest fraud” (quoted from Leo). She also has a bold personality, and that results in her sassing the great men fearlessly, yet that doesn’t mean she doesn’t respect them, in fact, it’s the opposite. She looked up to them greatly, as they were awesome enough to get their name engraved in history.  

Her biggest charm is definitely her carefree attitude. She’s just, y’know, damn chill. Salvie doesn’t have a care towards anything, therefore her pronouns and attire choices. Although her easy-going characteristics is an appeal, it’s sometimes a flaw as well. It made it difficult to get along with her as the specifics about her is unclear. Since she was so chill with everything, it’s certainly hard to pin down what are her favourites and stuff. Contradictorily, that light-hearted manner doesn’t apply to people. She unintentionally looks after people, even if she doesn’t want to care, she would still unknowingly do something for them, like leaving them a cup of tea on the table every morning. 

On the other hand though, kinda like Dazai, Salvie’s breezy and free demeanor makes it hard to grasp her true character, not mentioning the fact that she tends to sweep everything under the rug. She has a way with words that always, somehow, avoid the topic about herself, and that made her mysterious in a way. She was very quiet of her thoughts, especially things on her mind, rarely talking about her problems. She would tend to fend off questions about that with a gentle reassuring smile and a wispy attitude, as she disliked someone poking into her problems (and of course because she didn’t want to seem weak). 

HISTORY 

Backstory: Salvie was not recorded at any point in history, yet she was revived. She did not know why and did not question so. When she was first revived, she did not remember anything except her name. Dozens of questions were in her mind, yet there was no one to answer her. For what feels like an eternity, she wandered on the streets aimlessly until she met her kind. They were strong, independent, and raised her as if she was a newborn. Well, she was, kinda. The days gradually passed, and she too, came to understand that she had been reborn into a person–no, an immortal with unrestrained freedom, with unlimited time (not really, but you get the idea). As soon as she came to that conclusion, she bid goodbye to her friends, (guardians maybe?) and took a flight to achieve her dreams–to live how she wanted in her previous life. 

Family: Salvie doesn’t remember (or rather, it was insignificant to her) her family in her previous life. She only recognized the group of vampires that took her in as her guardians. 

Other history: How Salvie was involved in the mafia is… Well, chaotic. She was supposed to be on the tour with Count to Italy, to visit his long lost friend Leonardo, but along the way she somehow stumbled into an illegal gambling den, challenged the don (with very extreme conditions), defeated the don and accidentally become the new don of the mafia. After going through all the messy procedures, the news about a new mafia boss named  “Lord Salvatore” quickly spread through Italy. His nature was depicted as cruel and ruthless as he gets anything he wants, and no one stands in his way. Yet what’s weird was that the “Salvatore Family” was rumored to be civilized and noble, as they were ordered that no blood should be drawn unless it was required to. You can imagine the horror on Leo and Count’s face when they heard about this, and the compliments from her guardians. 

TRIVIA

Special abilities: None. (Her face as an instrument of deception)  Pet(s): A white horse named Vlad. Hobby: When she isn’t gambling or drinking, she will be out doing mafia business or just wandering somewhere else  Secret(s): Had a past lover who she later recalled and somehow disliked that shares the same name with her horse (which she then became devastated knowing that she named her horse after her past lover)  Habits: When she’s stressed or troubled, she will smoke from a pipe 

[mwolf0epsilon]

Hello, I'm the anon that asked for the three werewolf prompts. I thought I'd drop by and ask for three vampire ones as well if you're still taking D:bh writing requests? “So…how old are you?”, “There’s no such thing as ‘the good old days’. Every time sucks.” and “I shouldn’t have waited this long…”

Hello again Anon. Those three werewolf prompts were pretty fun to do and I'm happy to write with these three vampire ones. Feel free to pop back in if you want some more AU/Canon goodness!

On with the show. One vampire Simon coming right up (with an appropriate gif to boot), enjoy!

---

[[MORE]]

On the ride back to the Manfred household from North's family cabin, Josh can't help but fidget and glance curiously at the only person in the car that's covered from head to toe to shield himself from the sunlight. He had been pondering for a while now, why a vampire would risk sun exposure by coming out to camp out in the woods with friends.

Then, as the minutes crawled by, Josh began to ponder on something else. The way Simon had worded his friends's apparent adoption of the werewolf into their inner circle, and how the vampire apparently had been living in Markus's attic before he too was taken in, in a similar manner.

"If you keep staring at me like that, I fear you might burn a hole through my layers." The blond spoke up, startling Josh out of his thoughts, a humorous tone indicating that he wasn't so much as unnerved as he was amused.

"Sorry..." He couldn't help apologize as he caught the other's gaze under his sunglasses. "It's just... I've never actually seen a vampire before."

It was odd how werewolves were so common these days, but vampires were merely spoken about in hushed whispers. It was less terrifying to some that men could become huge wolfish beasts, but their undead kin could remain hidden behind a facade of normalcy. Simon certainly looked human enough. Enough so that Josh hadn't even realized what he truly was before he'd made his move to defend his friends. Defend them from a percieved common threat, even if he'd been rather passive at the time rather than aggressive like the rest of his pack.

Still, the werewolf saw no reason to fear the blond. If anything he was just curious about him.

"We're rare these days. It's hard to find one of us if we don't want to be found." Simon explained, seeming to have rehearsed this response. Maybe he'd had to say the same to many others before him.

Which brought another question...

"...Ok this is going to sound super rude..." Josh flustered slightly as he tried not to be too blunt "But uh... how old are you?"

At the front North snorted loudly and Josh could see the corner of Markus's eye crinkle with amusement on the rearview mirror. Simon simply stared at him before rolling his eyes and smiling.

"Old enough." He responded nonchalantly.

"What?" Josh stared, before North burst out laughing and spoke up.

"He can't remember, but he's old as fuck!" She told him, before whining when the vampire lightly punched her arm. "Sensitive about your age as ever, old timer?"

"I'll have you know no matter how old I technically am, I'll remain 28 for eternity!" Simon almost sounded like a bird with it's feathers ruffled, which was quite funny really. Almost like a cockatoo, minus the extravagant yellow display feathers.

Josh made a note not to ask about his age again tho, he doubted it was nice to be eternally youthful and then lose track of time like that... If anything it sounded like a lonely existence.

---

Mr. Manfred (who insisted Josh call him Carl because being refered to as 'mister' made him feel ancient) was a rather interesting man. An eccentric artist with an extravagantly decorated house and three bright young sons that he was proud of (even if Leo seemed to doubt his father liked him at all). Josh found in him a good conversation partner, a brilliant chess opponent, and someone who could teach him a lot about the world.

No one in his family had liked history and philosophy, so staying with the Manfreds was like paradise. Especially when he sat down and discussed things with Carl.

Another person who seemed so fond of joining their debates was undoubtedly the resident vampire.

Simon was a man of few words and many hobbies, but whenever he had something to say it often got both Josh and Carl thinking.

“There’s no such thing as ‘the good old days’. Every time sucks.” the blond grumbled once, when Carl had been reminiscing about the past. Saying how easier it was now to assume your sexuality or gender identity without being prosecuted by the public.

Simon had wholly disagreed with his opinion on the matter.

"Hundreds of years ago people would slaughter each other for minor differences. Be they gender, race, or religion." The vampire stated. "Today is the same, but the media is changing to hide it more. What's the death of a young unarmed black man, or of an innocent trans person worth to the public, when they could focus on the pressing things of life, like what celebrities are doing, or what is fashionable these days?"

Josh had been unsure what to say to those bitter words, because he knew for a fact that injustices still happened regularly. Carl had merely tried to shrug it off, not seeming all that willing to discuss it further. The artist later admitted he'd been wrong, when Leo came back with a black eye after being assaulted in a public bathroom. Apparently a guy had noticed his binder when he'd gone to wash his hands and, had Leo not been accompanied by two of his friends (one of which was a 6'7" Russian built like a goddamn bear), things could have taken a turn for the worst.

Agreeing to disagree was not something people should do with a vampire that had seen the world change and people remain the same...

---

It takes three months of living among friends for Josh to see Simon feeding off a person. The vampire is very reserved in his dietary habits, only ever drinking from a cup he keeps separate from everyone else's dishes, and he never really drinks human blood. He purchased a variety of animal blood from the butcher's, often commenting on how unsanitary human blood really is.

"I'd rather not risk catching any blood related diseases, thank you very much." The blond scoffed as he took a sip out if his cup of fish blood. "The high levels of cholesterol would also probably kill me faster than sunlight ever could... I'm an old man, my poor heart can't take it."

Josh has seen him drink pig's blood, cow blood, even snake blood if he had been feeling "fancy", as Simon would put it. But never had he seen him drink any of the types of human blood. Then, three months into his stay, Simon became incredibly sick after drinking a contaminated batch...

He vomits and shivers for days, while Josh helps Markus tend to the miserable vampire's intense fever. North goes to the butcher's to complain and comes back furious when the man doesn't provide so much as an apology or a refund. They help Simon through the sickness and are relieved when he begins recovering.

But then, when Josh walks into his room one day, Simon has this pained distant look as he curls in on himself and clutched his stomach as if he were dying.

He looks deathly pale with darkened (almost black) veins snaking under his waxy skin, and sunken in eyes and cheeks that make him almost look cadaveric. His fangs (which Josh learned are kept within special sheaths like those of venemous snakes) are visible and gleaming in the low lighting of the attic that had been converted into his friend's comfy room. As soon as he locks eyes with Josh, he begins to salivate heavily before whimpering softly.

"I shouldn’t have waited this long…” Simon is shaking from the pain in his empty gut, but also from the amount of control he's trying to maintain over himself. Josh can see that unmistakable predatory need to pounce rolling off his twitching frame. Simon's instincts want him to hunt. Hunt his friend for sustenance. But Simon doesn't want to hurt anyone. He's too kind for that.

Josh can't bare seeing him suffer like that, especially when they don't have any fresh blood to give him.

All three of them (Josh, Markus and North) decide he's suffered enough from food poisoning and donate a portion of their blood, so that Simon may feed and replenish his health properly.

The blond dislikes drinking from people, but the eagerness to drink from their willing veins is more than enough for him to loose at least an ounce of self control.

He practically crashes it Markus when the tan freckled man exposed his neck to him, and sinks his teeth and grips his shoulders hard enough that his sharpened nails break skin. The noises that escape him are almost obscene and Markus becomes flustered as Simon suckles and laps up the warm life giving liquid. He lets go when Markus starts getting woozy and his legs begin to give out, moving on to feed from Josh next.

The sensation is an odd one, intimate even. The werewolf can smell Simon's desperation, and feel his neediness against his skin, before the blond has had his fill and moves on to finish quenching his thirst with a smaller sum from North. They gave more than her, because they were larger and because Josh would heal faster.

Markus is a little weak for a few days after, while Josh bounces back quickly due to his own beastly nature. North promises to give more the next time something like this happens.

Simon is embarrassed about the whole ordeal, but grateful nontheless.

He hopes there won't be a next time, and seeing him so weak and inhuman makes Josh hope the same. Still there's no closer bond than that of letting a loved one feed off your life source.

As odd as that might sound.

[frostbittenfemme]

A VERY DESCRIPTIVE PROFILE OF YOUR MUSE.

Repost with the information of your muse, including headcanons, etc. if you fail to achieve some of the facts, add some other of your own!

NAME: Wildrider

NICKNAME(S): Wild, she more commonly goes by this to prevent confusion. 

AGE:  Around 6 million years old, holoform looks like someone in mid twenties. 

SPECIES: Transformer - Cybertronian - Born

ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Good [ Self-determination, Equality, Curiosity, Peace ]

INTERESTS: Medicine, human nature, birds, cooking, snow and ice, flowers.

OPTIC COLOR: Cyan 

HOLOFORM:  A white woman with blue eyes and blonde hair, hair is commonly wore down or in a braid. Tends to wear shorts alot and dresses somewhat childishly and always wears lipstick, mostlikely red.

HEIGHT:  About 14.5 feet tall, allows her to comfortably work on patients however sometimes she needs a step for those extra tall bots.

VOICE: The voice I see Wild having is Lucy Liu, I can’t describe it but that’s the voice I see her having.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single

 ENEMIES: Megatron, she hasn’t forgave him for killing her adoptive sire. Anyone who doesn’t like outliers, while it doesn’t affect her willingness to treat others she just prefers not to interact with them.

 COLORS. Her main body is sky blue, with lavender flame accents on her armor with white/silver plating on her chassis, forearms and lower legs.

 ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES: Yes - however rarely; she’s a busy medic and can’t seem to catch a break. Doesn’t like drinking by herself.

 SMOKES: No.

 DRUGS: None unless they’re for medical reasons, such as surgery etc,

DRIVERS LICENSE: None

FAMOUS FOR: Being able to create snow and ice and being able to survive extreme cold temperatures. If she sneezes there will be snow everywhere. Although I say famous,  she doesn’t really broadcast this and you’re only likely to of seen this if you have worked with her for a long time.

INFAMOUS: nothing shes well behaved, or tries to be, sometimes snow accidents happen.

WANTS: To help as many cybertronians as she can, prove she’s worth something and that she’s not bad because she’s an outlier. She also wants to fall in love but she’s shy. 

HEADCANONS:

1. She’s worked on Megatron when he was originally Megatronus in the Kaon pits, she could pull him a part and put him back together again, give her the chance she probably wouldn’t put him back together.

2. When the war ended she worked as a Doctor in a hospital for a bit however took the first oppurtnity she could to go off world. 

3. Don’t call her nurse it really annoys her, she’s not a nurse shes a fully qualified doctor and wants to be respected. 

4. Wild uses her ability of cryogenics to help store organs for transplant in surgeries, she doesn’t like using her ability as a weapon because of the harm it does but if the situation calls for it she will to protect her patients and herself.

5. Wild has three large scars on the back of her chassis, gave to her in the pits of Kaon for intervening a fight which would of killed her adoptive sire, however this just injured her and her sire still got killed, this was the turning point for her in leaving Kaon. 

6. Wild carriers her medical equipment in a doctors bag which can be stored in her subspace, as most of her equipment isn’t built in like other medics. Due to her being so cold it prevents her joints locking up, it is also another reason why her frame isn’t that of your typical medic. 

7. Wild tries not to cry because she doesn’t cry liquid she cries snow, while it looks pretty it’s a dead give away that she isn’t your average cybertronian. Sneezing also causes snow to appear, if she gets suprised she may freeze what shes touching or holding and cause icicles to form spines on her back (like a hedgehog would curl in a ball when scared)

8. Extreme heat causes her to struggle and become sluggish as her energon runs cold. She becoems lethargic and tries to avoid hot areas however sometimes they are unavoidable.

9. Wild rarely donates energon, as much as she would like to dontate it to those in need she needs to warm it up first to prevent shock or other damage to the patient. 

10. Wild is very motherly, shes a massive mother hen, she just want to show others that she cares, because that is an important value to her. 

Tagged by: @bytesnbolts

I tag @dear-fellow-travelers @blubrownrpblog and anyone else that wants to do it. (Sorry if you’ve been tagged already)

[crow-songs]

What No One Tells you....

…..about losing weight and getting Healthy.

Alright, so one of my rare ranting moments, what you’re not warned about when you start getting healthy or losing weight for your own health.

1. Buying Clothing for yourself, is a pain in the ass!

~If you live on your own, pay your own bills, pay for your own groceries etc…You also know the pain of buying clothing. Now, for me, I get to see both sides of the scale. I get to see my Partner, who happens to be much smaller (weight-wise) than I am, and then you have my big fluffy ass. Where my partner can get a cheap tank if they need, I have to spend almost $20 to get one that actually fits me without riding up the belly or being defeated by the BOOBS of DOOM! Even my partner has commented on how drastic the price differences are for clothing. Now imagine, you are losing weight, no longer do you fit the ‘fat girl’ clothing well without looking like a 50 year old stereotype aged soccer mom, and I am too big to fit into what is considered regular clothing. (And I will be ranting about that later because ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?) So you either have to cough up the big bucks for clothing that you know you’ll not be able to wear in a few months and will be trying to donate to a place that will actually give clothing to people in need, or you end up looking like that 50 year old person who doesn’t care about being 'fashion forward’. Now this second style most would say “But hey, at least you’re comfy!”. Like, yea, that would be awesome! I get to lose weight and be super comfy, yay! But NO! That is not the case. Half the day you’re pulling your pants up afraid that you’re going to moon someone because there are 'no’ pants that fit you right after that first single time! you’re shirts are so baggy that they get caught on doorknobs, tangled in the fat on your arms, or boobs and at worst, get tangled in that said boob when all three things happen all at once when you are carrying all those groceries on the bus because cars are expensive dammit, and suddenly your shirt is pulled down so far that this 'comfy’ piece of clothing is exposing you. But the worst part, is how it makes you feel. I mean, I am trying to get healthy, and finally be comfortable in my skin, not because of media, but because being fat is exhausting thank you. Those loose pieces of clothes that you have to pay an arm and a leg for, make you feel…well…awkward. More so that you already feel. I hate it. I’m trying to lose weight for my health and self esteem (Don’t get me wrong, I am damn fabulous and I know it) but I want to look down and see my damn toes. The price and self image that the clothing brings, does not help.

2. People are MEAN when you’re trying to get healthy!

~Holly crackers are being just mean! I cannot tell you how many times I have been shamed for what I am trying to do! But here’s the kicker, it ain’t the skinny ones being this mean, it’s girls (not many guys care or ask questions about it) that are my size or larger. Now, here’s a story of when I first started losing weight.

(Little background here, I use to be a cashier at a USA Chain store and I was good at my job, this is a conversation between me an a woman who was the same size as me)

————–

Me: “Hi! Thanks for shopping with us did you find everything today?” *Starts scanning her items and bagging*

Customer: “I did thank you.”

Me: “So, how’s your day been today?” (Now for this, I always use my genuine voice because you know what, everyone needs someone to just talk too)

Customer: “It’s ok…..Wait, I’ve seen you here before, you look different.”

Me: *All happy proud that someone other than my epic Partner sees my hard work* “Yeah! I’ve lost about 55lbs in about 3 months! I’ve been trying to get healthier!”

Customer: “Oh that’s good. What diet are you on, or did you…..”*pauses to lean in and whisper*“Did you get that surgery thing. I’ve been thinking about that too so no need to be ashamed.”*insert sly smile*

Me:*Stands there blinking a moment before giving that awkward laugh you give when you just don’t know what to say* “Ah, actually no diet per say, and I am waaay to poor for surgery of any kind. No, I actually cut out dairy finally since I’m actually allergic to it, and cut gluten out of my diet because my partner is highly allergic and I figured why not do so in solidarity. I love my meats so you know not too brutal. And I’ve been doing some basic exercises like walking and little 5lb weights that we sell here. It’s been amazing and I actually feel like I can do things without falling over dead!”

**mind you, I am stilllll scanning the overflowing cart of stuff this woman has and she is not unloading it at all, so I am having to hop lean over my counter to reach her items**

Customer: *Pauses with this surprised look before her lip literally curls and she gives me the most disgusted look ever* You know how unhealthy it is to starve yourself!

Me: *actually goes still to being confused* What?

Customer: I mean you should have better self esteem in how you look and love your body no matter what people tell you! Starving yourself is not the answer! *starts to go on rant about media and about how I’m some dumb child falling for this and how I probably cut and how I’m not 'that’ over weight and make up can fix my face.*

Me:*stares at this now labeled crazy bitch getting annoyed* Ma'am…I’m 23…I am doing this for my health, I can still down a whole chicken by myself if I wanted, but I am trying to portion my food. *Holds out receipt as she swiped her card while ranting loud enough that all cashiers are now staring* Have a good day.

———-

I mean are you kidding me!? I have bee actively shamed more since I have been working to try and get healthy more than once! One woman had the guts to tell me that losing weight is for whores and I was just going to be a target for rape if I did this. I have been called stupid, worthless and informed how ugly I am. WHAT THE SEVEN HELLS IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!!????

By the way, that conversation actually took place almost over a year before the gluten free diets started to gain some fame/attention.

3. The Assumption that Working out is dangerous/I don’t know what working out is.

~I cannot count the amount of times I have been lectured and talked down too when I mention that I need to work out more or am trying to work out. People people people…I am not stupid. Yes I know how to lift weights, yes I loooove punching bags, yes I know how to run and yes I know how to swim and do sit ups. The surprise you get from people is insane. What people assume is that you have never been active your entire life, and you eat like a damn pig. No, that isn’t always the reason someone is over weight. When i was a kid, I was active, I played softball, I was into multiple forms of martial arts including MMA (thanks to my dad), running, climbing etc. I was like this till about 13-14 years old. That is when depression, stress, loneliness and lack of support entered my life. That and my genetics and a knee surgery I had when I was 16-17, yeah I got damn fat! But I’m not stupid! My Gods!

4. Depression is the biggest Bitch ever.

~I won’t lie, my biggest demon, is depression. even when losing weight, when you have sooo many telling you how horrible you are for trying to lose weight or for doing it, even that one person (for me my partner) who is supporting you…..sometimes it isn’t enough. You watch your body change, going down and then ballooning back up and then back down and put that on repeat. It’s hard. When you have a 40 hrs + job, the world around you is literally falling apart, knowing that going outside can get you killed and worse, when you look at your bills and you feel like there is no end, when you look at your life and you know, you know this is not what you wanted to do with it, or what you are capable of doing…..damn it gets hard. It’s hard to keep that motivation to be healthy. Real Healthy I mean. For years I convinced myself that 'my’ method was the best, that how I was eating would do my body well. I was never told that fat girls could have an eating disorder. And than I realized what I was doing. I was doing a different kind of binge and purge. I would take 1 week and just massively over eat, to the point that I would vomit on my own without any finger, and then for 2 weeks, I just wouldn’t eat anything. I would drink water or for a while, soda….maybe have a bag of chips….but nothing else. For 2 damn weeks. I never felt faint, dizzy, dazed. I only felt tired, still massively depressed and my weight would bounce that a stupid bouncy ball in a locked room. Later, through my own studying as during the years of going to a doctor (And more than once ulcer later)  I had always been told I was surprisingly healthy and active for my age (I CALL BULLSHIT), I realized the reason I didn’t feel this, was because my body was eating itself and I’ve got/had the stores to eat where these sessions while unhealthy, wouldn’t trigger my brain. People assume that working out, getting healthy and changing your lifestyle, changes that. But to be honest, YOU CAN BE DOING IT ALL RIGHT AND STILL BE DEPRESSED! I feel the need to shout that from the roof tops sometimes! Even if you have the best support system, sometimes, you still feel very much alone in your situation. And there is no reason you or anyone should be feeling guilty about this.

Alright, there is my rant, I could likely add more, but in this moment, I don’t want too. For any who read, thank you for reading, and know, You CAN do this. What is healthy for one person, doesn’t mean it’s healthy for you (This is coming from the person that is actually allergic to the entire mustard family when it comes to greens) and above all, you’re worth getting healthy, physically and mentally. You can want to lose weight, all while loving yourself.

Here are two links for people going through this in my opinion that might help:

https://www.torrid.com/homepage   ~~A great place for clothing that frequently has some damn good sales and does focus on how it fits your body.

https://www.udemy.com/     ~~This might we odd, but classes help. Whether it’s in art for self therapy or self expression, or nutrition classes. They do have sales (Their current black Friday/Cyber Monday sale of epicness)

Alright everyone, have a wonderful, and a life that you can be proud of.

[purplesurveys]

424

A health survey. Must be fun.

What health problems do you have right now? Well my back is a bitch 24/7; my joints hurt when it gets cold; I have scoliosis; and mentally speaking I’m not very stable either. I sound 60. Are you in chronic pain? Never been diagnosed with such, no. What do you take medications for? I don’t. I probably need to, but the state of mental health care in the Philippines is just so inaccessible: it’s expensive, available services are few and far between, and anyone younger than 21 needs to get written consent from their parents, which can be difficult if someone’s parents don’t actually believe in mental health issues. There is a lot of work to be done. What are some health issues you have had in the past? My lactose intolerance was a problem when I was an infant. My family didn’t know I had it, so they kept panicking when I would just poop out all the milk they fed me all day and when my stomach would end up storing nothing. It got critical and I had to be sent to the hospital, but it turned out well after. Do you have allergies? Nope. Free to eat and be in contact with anything.

If so, what are you allergic to? Have you ever been to an allergist? No, never had to. Have you ever been to the ER? Mmm nope, never been in an emergency situation. Have you ever been treated poorly in the ER? Have you ever been told your symptoms were anxiety, when they weren't? I haven’t been tested for that. When I was doing my health exam for university though, they did review my mental health and suspected me of having depression, but they didn’t declare symptoms or formally diagnose me or anything. What is the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced? Probably scraping and kicking my feet against coral reefs when I went snorkeling back in ‘09. I had no flippers and I was panicking (I wasn’t used to using the snorkeling mask to breathe) so I was thrashing my legs around in the water. I knew I was hitting the coral reefs and they were fucking sharp, but I was panicking so I powered through even though it meant I had to hit them every time I kicked. It was painful while I was swimming and even more painful in the weeks that followed. It was the worst infected wound I’ve ever had. Just imagine kicking a razor-sharp boulder with your bare feet. How many surgeries have you had? Zero. I hope I never need any, the thought of surgery terrifies me. What types of surgery have you had? Have you always recovered well from surgery? Have you ever been treated poorly by a doctor? YES!!! The ones in my university’s health service are horrible. Case in point, my health exam for admission to UP: I know it’s part of a doctor’s job, but the doctor assigned to me back then touched my breasts very hastily to check for suspicious bumps. It would have helped tons if 1) she gave me a heads-up beforehand and 2) asked permission, but this lady just told me to lie down and went ahead to stick her hand under my shirt. As someone who had only been fresh out of Catholic school at that point, it was the perfect opportunity to panic. Same doctor was the one who suspected I was depressed after reviewing my mental health form, but instead of being helpful she DEMANDED reasons why I felt that way. I was already uncomfortable with the boob incident by then and was too stunned to speak, so I just kept saying I was fine and that I was mentally stable. In reality I just wanted to get out from that nasty old bitch. Have you ever had a doctor tried to kill you? Oh well that’s just taking it a million times further. No. Is your primary care doctor a man or a woman? I don’t have one. Have you had the same primary care doctor your whole life? We don’t have a family doctor. Are you happy with your current doctor? Have you ever seen a specialist for anything? X-ray technicians. I had trips to see them the most when we found out I had scoliosis.   What is the most itchiest thing you have ever experienced? I had weird rashes on my legs one time in high school, and since I was stubborn I kept scratching them until they turned into nasty black and blue wounds/bruises and cuts. I still have no idea where they came from. Have you ever had a severe itch, that you'd rate a 10? ^ That. On a scale of 1-10, what's the worst physical pain you've ever been in? The coral reef incident is an easy 20. Have you ever passed out from pain? Noooooo. Passing out from pain is one of my greatest fears. I avoid encountering anything painful as much as I can just because I’m scared of the thought of passing out because of pain. Have you ever thrown up from pain? Nope. Just from drinking and expired barbecue lmfao. Do you have any food intolerances? If so, to what? It’s not official, but I hate fruits. Like, I can immediately tell if something has fruit in it and I will spit it out accordingly. That and raisins. Do you have any food sensitivities? If so, to what? Nope. What medications are you allergic to? Do you have acne? A small pimple shows up every now and then (mostly when I’m stressed or if my face gets oily) but it’s never been a full-on breakout. I’ve been lucky when it comes to acne. Do you take birth control pills? I don’t. I want to take them just because I heard it makes your breasts get bigger hahahahahaha but Gab is adamant about not letting me take them. Are your hormones screwed up? Mm no, they’re not that bad. Obviously they act up when I’m nearing or on my period e.g. cravings, crying all the time, being sensitive about everything, but not to the point that my period is irregular or gives me severe dysmenorrhea. Do you have bad withdrawals from medications? I don’t take meds to begin with. What are some withdrawal symptoms you've had? What are some bad side effects of medications that you've had? Have you ever gained weight from a medication? If so, how much? Have you ever had to take Prednisone? Never even heard of it. If so, did it make you gain weight and make your face puff up? Looks like I’m skipping lots of questions. How many hours a sleep do you need? Don’t adults need 8 hours, in general? How many hours a sleep do you get? I try to make it to 8, but I’ve been really busy for this semester that it ends up being 5-7 hours instead. Do you exercise enough? I don’t at all, haaaaaaaaaaah. Do you eat healthy? I do like vegetables and will happily eat salads and sandwiches with veggies packed in them, but I tend to balance it out with grossly unhealthy food anyway, so you decide if this still counts as healthy. Are you on a special diet for your health? No, I don’t think I need to be. Are you trying to lose weight or gain weight? Gain, which I’m on the way to doing. I’m a little chubbier now compared to high school. Are you a healthy weight? I’m 90 lbs. the last time I checked. Relative to my height, that’s underweight. Are you happy with your weight? Sure, but gaining a few pounds wouldn’t hurt either. How often do you wash your hair? Everyday if I’m in school; every other day if I’m on summer break. Do you take showers or baths? Showers. How often do you shower or bathe? ^ Same thing. Do you take vitamins? If so, which ones? I used to take two vitamin syrups everyday when I was younger: one for vitamin C and the other to help me grow taller. When I got a little older my mom changed our usual syrups to these cute vitamin C gummy bears, then after a while I just stopped taking. What bones have you broken? Haven’t broken any, fortunately.  What's the worst physical injury you've had? Aside from my icky foot infection, I had a bad fall in school a few months ago and my ankle got sprained pretty bad. I don’t think I gave it A+ treatment so it never really fully healed. I know this because the same foot still hurts whenever it’s in an odd position or when I shift too much of my weight on it. Do you have sensitive skin? Yes. It eventually gets itchy when my skin is out in the open. In high school, I often had a hard time walking from point A to B because my skin would always get irritated, but I couldn’t scratch it because I was wearing a skirt. What chemicals make you sick? Toxic ones, I would assume? Haha. What time of year do you usually get sick? I never get sick. What's the highest fever you've ever had? 40ºC. It was a dengue scare. Have you ever had the flu? Sure, a few times here and there. Have you ever had bronchitis? Nope. Have you ever had an ear infection? I don’t remember having one. Do you snore? Only when I’m so tired that I’m 130% passed out. What pain reliever do you use for cramps? My menstrual cramps never get that bad. If you're female, what symptoms do you get when on your period? My pelvis area and legs hurt; I cry over everything; I’m sensitive when people are angry; I will essentially take everything personally; my cravings either change every 5 minutes or I just want one food and I will murder to get such craving; I get very poopy; and sometimes I’ll get very drowsy. Do you have regular periods? Pretty much, yes. Sometimes they’ll be a few days early or late but very rarely does it go completely irregular. Are you afraid of shots? Deathly afraid. Like I would do everything to avoid having to take them.  Have you ever donated blood? No. Even if I wanted to, I’m not allowed to (underweight). Plus you have to be pricked for that, which is a Huge No-No for me. Do you do well with shots? If I absolutely have to have a shot, I can manage albeit with a lot of fidgeting. What I’m terrible with is IV. I had a huge meltdown the one and only time I needed to have a needle injected onto my wrist. I was a 12 year old grown ass person thrashing around in the hospital room lol. What x-rays have you had? Just my spine. Have you ever gotten a pill or a piece of food stuck in your throat? Pill-stuck-in-throat sensation happens sometimes, but it’s never been anything serious. What method of birth control do you use, if applicable? Do you take birth control to control hormones, or to prevent pregnancy? As mentioned, I don’t take it. How often does your hair need to be washed? I don’t know about need, but I wash it everyday or every other day so that it doesn’t get oily, which feels irritating. What do you keep on hand for emergencies? I don’t really keep stuff for emergency, just money hahaha. Have you ever had a severe allergic reaction? Nopes. If so, what were your symptoms? Have you ever used an epi pen? I have not. Have you ever been to the ER for a severe allergic reaction? Negative. What's the worst burn you've ever had? When I was 7, I wanted to do something daring so I touched a clothes iron that was plugged in and was in use (by my grandma, but she left to attend to something at the time). My index finger rightfully had a tiny blister for the next two weeks. My dumbass definitely deserved it. What's the worst allergic reaction you've ever had? No allergies. Have you had any health-related embarrassing moments? I don’t think anything bad enough has happened yet. If so, what happened? (if you want to share) Do you use tampons or pads? Pads. I’m scared of tampons. Do you sweat a lot? I don’t, actually. I drink a lot of water, but I guess I just don’t sweat much. Do you get nosebleeds? I’ve never experienced a nosebleed and am also too scared to get one. Do you get motion sickness? Pretty easily, especially if I’m riding an unfamiliar car. Do you have acne? I get a pimple every now and then but it’s not a big issue. Do you have scars? Sure. There’s one on my fourth right toe and the other one on my left eyebrow. What are some of your scars from? Toe scar is from when my toes got stuck in my bike’s blades (something like that, anyway); eyebrow scar is from a stupid cousin smashing a small glass bottle towards my face. Do you have a birthmark? If so, what color is it? I have a brown one behind my left shoulder. I also have one near my elbow; it used to be blue/green but now it’s a faint black-ish shade. What makes your eyes itch? Uh, dirt? I also know if I’ve been spending too much time in front of the computer when my eyes start feeling irritated. That’s usually my signal to go to bed or to have a break. Are you ticklish? Very. I can’t be tickled on any part of my body. Do you have a sweet tooth? I have my moods, but overly sweet food isn’t really a favorite of mine. Do you ever crave chocolate? Never, actually. I can crave sweet stuff like brownies and cookies, but never chocolate bars. Do you ever crave cheese? No. Lactose intolerance makes me wary of cheese so I never really ~crave it. What else, if anything, do you get cravings for? I usually crave for cuisines in general or specific restaurants.  Do you drink enough water? Yeah I’m pretty sure I do. Do you comfort eat when stressed? It varies. Sometimes I’ll rely on eating, but other times I’ll lose my appetite and wouldn’t want to be anywhere near food. How old were you when you started your period? I was 9 but was about to turn 10. How old were you when you started going through puberty? I am guessing the same age when I had my period, but everything sped up only when I was 10/11. What was the first sign of puberty for you? ...My period? Did your hair change when you went through puberty? Hair started to grow in places, but as for changes, not really. At what time of day do you normally feel your best? I don’t really keep track lol. Are you naturally optimistic or pessimistic? Um both, depending on my mood for the day. It never stays constant. Are you naturally energetic? I’m naturally un-energetic. Looking at extroverts exhausts me. Does your mind wander a lot? Only when I’m bored at something, like in a certain class. I can generally focus well. Do you know your blood type? I don’t actually hah. Have you ever been taken to the hospital against your will? Nope. Any final thoughts? Cool survey. It’s different.

[cicadas-epiphany]

Black Hat’s past lovers: Hazel

Black Hat sits down in his chair. His desk is empty, save for his prized red skull. “You have all been asking and asking, BEGGING for me to tell you. So fine. I'll tell you imbeciles about my past love life.” he huffs and folds his arms, seeming like he wanted to be elsewhere. He rolled his eye and continued, “My first love was a Sahterrian named Hazel. Well, that's what name I gave her. She was very… peculiar. She didn't want to tell me anything about her, and she didn't want me to tell her anything about me. Her outlook on life was extraordinary and complex. It's hard to explain, so I will let you figure it out yourself. I met her on her homeplanet, Sahterra. Not many…” He pauses, looking for the right word. “People, let's call them. Not many people lived there, as it was very barren and near uninhabitable. The planet was large, hot, and full of desert. The air was thick and humid, but lacked water vapor. There were very few water sources on this planet, and those that did exist were contaminated with sand, making it undrinkable. The sand was red, the sky was red, everything was red. It stained the skin and fur of anyone living there, masking everything in deep red. The winds were strong and aggressive, and the planet was prone to horrible natural disasters.

The inhabitants, Sahterrians, were split into two groups. The incredibly wealthy and the incredibly poor. The wealthy lived in ships, and came and go as they pleased. Nobody had houses or permanent structures like we do, for it was too difficult to build and manage. Nobody stayed there for very long anyway, so trying to build there was a waste of time. The wealthy lived in home ships, and traveled in work ships. Food and water had to be imported from other planets, since Sahterra was too unstable to support anything. The wealthy only continued living there to show status and strength.

The poor lived in villages made of scrap ship parts, abandoned ships, unusable ships, and malfunctioning ships. They didn't have any way of leaving, and were very sickly from the constant sand flooding their lungs and the lack of resources. The land was impossible to farm and the water was impossible to drink. They had no way of living on their own.

The wealthy there, some were generous. They would donate food they didn't need, want, that had spoiled, or they’d have crates of food to be purchased and delivered if they were especially kind. Some villages were favored more than others, due to the social hierarchy developed in the past. It just became traditional to favor them.

But some of the wealthy were cruel. They felt like the poor hadn’t worked hard enough to deserve it. They would follow transport ships and destroy them or steal from them to prevent resources from reaching villages. They would raid villages and steal what they felt the lower class didn't deserve. They couldn't fight back, so families would just stand back as their pitiful home ships were destroyed.

Hazel was born and raised on the planet, in a favored poor village. That is the only real information I know about her, due to her appearance. Everything else about her is unknown.

I met her over 100,000 years ago. I was still powerful, but not as powerful as I am now. My powers were still maturing, as I was unable to teleport myself long distances and I had some… difficulty keeping a solid form. My body was very bulbous and misshapen. I wore a cloak to hide it, though it didn't prevent the spikes on my back from tearing through the fabric. I had horns, four of them. Two smaller ones going out horizontally, and two going up vertically before curving in slightly. the rest of my body was constantly shifting and mutating, never staying solid. I had to use a ship in order to travel, just like everyone else.

I was on Sahterra for business. One of the wealthy Sahterrians was building a machine in order to wipe out the poor half of the planet. My mission was to assassinate him and steal the machine. I didn't do it out of care about the people, I wanted the machine. That glorious machine would have the capability to disintegrate half a planet! It was perfect. I planned for months, and finally was strong enough to go for it.” black hat smirks at cambot, who has been eagerly recording him. “I don't need to tell you how i got in,” he flirts, “but I was in. I was deep into the ship, searching for the living quarters.

I scaled across the ceiling, gripping the details of the structure. I had become close, I could smell a Sahterrian. I grew excited and lost my footing. My claws slipped, scratching the wall and generating a piercing screech; similar to nails on chalkboard. I froze. Everything was quiet. I felt anxious, and my body gurgled and pulsated underneath the cloak. The smell of a Sahterrian grew closer, making my body panic and spasm further. As the smell grew, I looked for them frantically. I knew they were here, but I couldn't see them.

Something shot forward and grabbed my throat. I struggled, lost my balance, and fell onto the floor with a loud thud. I was pulled across the floor by an odd device, and I knew it was being controlled by the Sahterrian. Struggling to escape, I was thrown and pinned by the wrists, and my face was shoved into the wall.

“State your function.” She said.

“She? I was hunting a male. Who was this?” I thought to myself.

“Thats none of your concern!” I growled back, my voice oozing into her skull.

She stayed quiet for a moment. Most likely in awe at how amazing I am, I don't know. I didn't care.

“State your function, now. Or I will kill you where you stand.” She said.

“Oh, dear. I’m simply trembling in fear.” I respond. “But if you must know, im an assassin. Like you, I assume.”

She tightens the grip of the device on my throat. “Sorry to say, but I am still going to have to kill you.” Her voice was a hushed whisper, but was still full of authority and strength. She was obviously a very experienced and confident assassin.

“I doubt you could manage that.” I throw myself at her, pinning her to the opposite wall with my back. “I happen to be immortal. So good luck with that.”

She struggled underneath me, glorious and amazing me, before pushing me off. I ripped the device from my throat and crushed it without looking at it, more focused on looking at her. She was still young, much to my surprise. She was thin, like the poor, but strong like the rich. She must have come from a favored village.

She stood on two cat-like, thin legs. Her body frame was elegant and bold, with few curves. She wore a black skirt that was long in the back, and a dark brown sleeveless half shirt. Her short purple fur was stained red from the sand, and her claws were dirty and dull. Her half-lidded hazel eyes had thin pupils, and her horns stood high and intact. A tuft of fur sat between her gray horns, stained red too, as her body was. Her tail was rat-like, with a tuft of fur at the end.

But what stood out most were her eyes. They were a beautiful and vibrant. Full of life and lust for adventure. Most Sahterrians of her status had given up hope of being significant. They are taught at a young age that they are meaningless. That they are too destitute to have worth. They are trained to think that they need someone else taking care of them to be whole. Individuality is dead.

But she had a purpose, and she knew it. She was destined to do what she does, and she was damn good at it. Her eyes beamed with tenacity.

But let's not forget the situation at hand.

I had been… distracted. She took the opportunity and pushed me back into the wall. We wrestled for a few minutes, trying to beat one another for authority to kill our mutual target,  before we heard an audible click. We both froze, and she looked up. I followed her lead, and everything went black.

I woke up to a loud bang. Looking over, she was flying through the air and landed perfectly on her feet. We had been locked in separate floating prison cell pods, and she had just escaped.

“Get me out!” I yelled at her.

“No. I am going to do my job. You can free yourself.” She responded flatly, heading towards a near hallway.

“I wasn't asking, I was ordering! Free me now!” I screeched, scraping my claws against the inside of the pod.

She stared at me. A cold, hard glare. “No. This is a personal mission. I must eliminate him before he wipes out half the planet. The weapon will be destroyed after he is dead.”

I didn't like this. I needed that weapon. I thrashed about in the pod, trying to break through. She turned and left, disappearing from my vision.

An hour passed, and I still was trapped. How she got free, I haven't a clue.

She appeared through the hall, clearly pleased. She had accomplished her mission.

“Still trapped, mister almighty immortal?” she mocked. She MOCKED! How DARE she! I was about to counteract, but the pod suddenly burst, dropping me to the floor. She had made her way to the control panel and freed me.

Leaning against the panel, she watched in amusement as I stood and fixed my cloak, trying to recompose myself. “Took you long enough.” I mumbled.

Her only response was a smirk. I was furious.

Walking forward, she pushed a card at me. “My services. If you ever need someone to disappear, let me know.”

The card didn't have much information. Just a contact number and a picture.

“Do you have a name?” I ask.

“That is unimportant.”

And with that, she was gone. I stood for a moment, unsure of what to do. The machine was destroyed and the builder was dead. I had no purpose being here, so I left as well.

I boarded my ship and left the planet.

A time later, possibly a year, I had to go back to Sahterra. I had business there again, and this time I was successful with my mission. But as I was trying to leave, I was rendered stranded due to a rare natural phenomena.” Cambot leans in, being invested in the story. Black Hat shoves him away, showing irritation.“To put it simply, the core of the planet overheats and magma forms at a drastic rate at the same time the tectonic plates go through a massive shift, causing volcano quakes. I think you dullards can use context to figure out what that means.

The ground had begun shaking violently, and I was unable to walk steadily to my ship. The tremors had thrown me to the ground, and the sand burned my eyes. I lied there in pain, trying to rub the sand from my face, when I heard an ear-splitting crack. The ground was opening up, and sand was rushing forward to fill the hole. Smoke billowed out of the opening, and I ran.

Volcano quakes don’t stop at just one. No, there are multiple quakes at once. It can destroy miles and miles of land, and it takes hundreds of years to recover.

I ran for as fast and as long as I could. Lava was inching closer from all directions and the sky was black as night. The sand and ash choked me and blinded me. Bodies of the inhabitants who had been killed lied all around me, making escape even more difficult.

I may have been powerful and immortal, but I was still able to feel pain. And let me tell you, burning in lava while sand and ash choke you isn't the most pleasant feeling.

After some time, I was unable to continue running. Needing a rest, I looked for a safe place to camp for the night. A small abandoned ship could be seen in the distance, so I went to it.

After entering, I noticed a body on the floor.

It was her.

I go up to her and feel for a pulse. She was still alive, barely. I leave her there, heading to the second floor of the small ship.

The controls were odd and confusing, I had no way of understanding them. I hadn't learned to read the Sahterrian language yet, though I can read it now.

I didn't know how to pilot this ship, if it could even function in the first place, so I stayed there and waited. I watched what was happening outside, and the volcano quakes had seemed to stop forming. Lava still shot out from them, slowly creeping closer to the ship.

But the ship was safe on top of a large sand hill. I stayed there for another few hours, waiting for it to stop.

The destruction seemed to be finished, so I started heading down to the floor level to leave.

I was wrong. So, so wrong.

An aftershock threw the ship forward. It was falling off the hill, and could crash and become damaged. I’d have no way off this planet, and nowhere to hide.

As I tried to escape, again, I passed by her lifeless form. I felt bad for her, so I grabbed her shoulders to wake her.

“Wake up! Wake up now!” I yelled.

“Wh- huh? What is happening? Why are you here?” She asked, seeming confused.

“Volcano quakes. An aftershock just hit, we need to leave now.” I said. The ship lurched forward again, and I scrambled to escape, leaving her behind.

I got to the entrance to find the winds outside were stronger than usual, a sandstorm had swept through. “Goddamnit!” I thought, “I can’t see!”

Having no choice, I turned back to the interior of the ship. She wasn’t there, so I rushed to the the upper level to try to figure out the controls.

She stood there, pounding away at them. “Hold on.” she commanded.

I was about to question her when the ship fell hard, falling down the side of the hill at a dangerous rate. Sirens screamed and lights flashed, alerting us to the danger we already knew. I crashed into the wall and she almost hit the viewport.

She frantically worked the controls, and the ship began to rumble and come to life. It shot forward, tearing down the hill and jerked back right before crashing into the ground. The ship hoovered there, shakily rising up higher and higher before stopping a few feet above the tallest hill.

Now we were safe.

The ship was unstable, but worked. She stepped away, falling to her knees in exhaustion. I sat next to her, and we were in silence.

“How did you get here?” I asked.

“I walked.” She responded.

I glared at her before giving up. It wasn't worth it.

“Night will come soon. Do you need food? There should be a few barrels of food in the storage room.” She stood, looking at me for a response.

“No. I’m fine.” I said, not looking at her.

She leaves silently, and returns moments later with a basket of food for herself and some blankets.

She lays out two and sits down on one. She begins eating.

I watch her, but she doesn't seem to care. She finishes and turns to me.

She quietly stares, as if to mock me for staring at her.

“What is your name?” I ask.

“What do you want it to be?”

I am confused. “What? Just tell me your name. I don’t have time for this.”

“Last time I checked, we are stranded on a floating ship. You have time. What is my name? Who am I?”

I decided to give in. “You are a Sahterrian assassin. Your name…” I look her over, looking for something significant to call her.

“Your name is Hazel. For your eyes.”

She nods. “I am Hazel, a Sahterrian assassin. You are Umbra, a king from a planet unknown. You are here to find ways to enforce your commands on your people, since they have started to fall from your grasp. Your powers are almighty, but they have lost fear. You are in search for new ways to gain back their loyalty, drawing you here, to the planet Sahterra. You come here to gain high status, just like everyone else has come for. Once you prove yourself, your slaves will respect you once again.”

I was baffled. I was at a loss of words, simply nodding in response. “I am Umbra, king of a planet unknown.”

She seemed content with herself and lied down on her blanket. I assumed the second was mine, and lied next to her.

I wanted to question her, but I was too in awe to ask. Luckily, she gave me an answer without question.

“My life story means nothing to you. I am just a pawn in the game of life, and so are you. Nobody asks how you are because they want to know about you. They ask about you so they can tell you about themself. Our real stories are insignificant. You have to make your own. Build your own life story and shape it how you want it to be.”

She paused, turning to face me. “You have met a girl on a foreign planet. What is her name? What is her story? What is she to you? How does it affect you? Why is she special?

That is for you to decide. I am just a new character in the story of your life. Who I am is yours to answer. You are the writer. Tell me who I am.”

I am quiet for a moment. I wasn’t sure what to make of this situation,  I hadn't thought of this before.

“You are Hazel. You are a Sahterrian from Sahterra. You were born in a favored village near a rich city. You-”

She cut me off. “No, no, no. Realizm is so boring. Try again. Be creative.”

I start to get frustrated, what did she want from me?!

“Fine then. You are Hazel, A Sahterrian hybrid. The other half is unknown, because your mother was a slutty bitch. You have seven siblings, all hybrids as well. Your oldest sibling died at the hands of another being, and you made it your life mission to get revenge. You became an assassin in hopes of finding the murderer and destroying them. How’s that?”

She nods. “So be it.”

“What? You're just going to take that? I insulted you!”

“Actually, you insulted my mother.”

I was enraged. “Fuck you! Fuck all of this! I’m leaving.”

“Okay.”

Why wasn't she offended? Why wasn’t she responding to any of this? Why wasn’t she mad?

I went to the controls, suddenly remembering I have no idea how to fly this ship. I pressed a button, but a lock flashed on the screen. She had locked the controls. I couldn't do anything.

I sat back down on the blanket with a huff.

“Back so soon, your majesty?”

“SHUT UP, SLUT BABY!” I yelled, laying down on my side facing away from her. I could hear her snickering, tantalizing me.

At this point, I didn't like her. But we continued talking through the night, and I warmed up to her. She was much more pleasant to talk to than I originally thought. Once morning came, she settled the ship down on land that hadn't been destroyed by the volcano quakes.

She asked if my ship was destroyed the the disaster, and I said yes.

She offered one of her own ships. She had a few that had never been used, and she would teach me how to use the controls. I eagerly agreed, and I was to meet her at her home ship in a weeks time. She gave me the coordinates of her home ship and left.

I had no home for that week, so I wandered the planet, exploring the social construct. Their lives are brutal. How they manage to live there for generations, I'll never know.

Anyway, I met her at her home ship a week later around midday. She invited me in, and we looked at some of her work ships. I picked one I fancied, and she showed me how to pilot it.

They were surprisingly easy to maneuver.

Now I… may have flirted with her a bit afterwards, leading to a… well, a date, but that isn't important.” He adjusted his tie, seeming uncomfortable.

“Not much happened on the date. Well…” Black Hat looks down, getting even more uncomfortable. “Nevermind what we did. Nothing happened. NOTHING.

After a few weeks, we were officially a couple. I do not wish to give much detail of our dating life, but we were cozy. Sure she was a smartass, but she had a good sense of humor. She was nice to look at, and I had a tendency to get distracted and stare at her. One of the many flaws of love; it’s a distraction.

After several years, we lived together on Sahterra on her home ship. She would disappear for days without a warning. I didn't mind, I knew where she was. She had a job to do.

She helped me mold a more solid form, and I copied her thin stature. I liked the design, and thought she’d like it, too. I hadn't known there was a difference between the feminine and masculine body… and she never quite let me live that down.

She taught me their writing, some history, and more. I taught her foreign tongues when she has a job on an unfamiliar planet.

We were strong, and we thrived together.

One day she received a job from another Sahterrian. It was a job that no other assassin had accomplished, and the reward was a monstrous amount of wealth, and even power in the social hierarchy. Being treated as an equal to the wealthy was a great honor, and she accepted the job.

She prepared for months. She trained, gathered weapons, and trained some more.

Soon, she left. She gave the estimate of two months before she'd be back.

Two months later, she was still gone.

I didn't think much of it, I believe in her. She has gone over her estimate before. So I continued waiting.

Another month passed. Then another. Soon, a year. I became worried.

I didn't want to seem like I didn't feel confident in her, so i waited longer.  After another year, I went looking for her.

I knew the solar system her job was located at. I searched every planet, and every solar system around that. I searched that whole galaxy for her.

Her lack of a name made locating her difficult. Sahterrians weren’t common, so her appearance would be recognizable. But because of her job, she hid her body and face. Again, making it harder to find her.

I searched for thirty years. After that point, she had to be dead. Saherrians have a lifespan of about sixty years, and she was in her late twenties when she left.

I’ve never seen her since. I had traveled back to Sahterra a few times after that, but it was hopeless. I gave up and moved on.

She was gone forever.

Fic 2: Zharduu

[mmkelleywrites]

Call Upon Your God

My best friend growing up was obsessed with God. His family never struck me as particularly Jesus-y, but Art took it hook, line and sinker. He was always reading one of the books of the Bible. Even some more strange books, like Enoch. I remember when I mentioned I'd never heard of them, he just shrugged and said most sects considered them non-canon.

The strangest things about him were, in no particular order, that he was friends with me, and his obsession with meeting God. I've always been a godless heathen, for lack of a better word. He never seemed to care, and honestly I enjoyed the Bible stories he had to tell me. Weird shit, like Jesus banishing a dragon, Angels breeding with humans and making monstrosities. You know, *weird shit.*

Towards the end of highschool, I lost track of Art. I spent some time in and out of mental health facilities. Some of the people I met in those years really liked the stories I remembered from Art. Sometimes because of the absurdity, but some of them found some hope somewhere in there too. When I finally got home, Art was there waiting for me. Bright, full of Christ and with cookies from his mom.

It was like we never parted. He was extremely excited that he’d gotten into Bob Jones University. I laughed at him when he mentioned “B.J.U.” He ignored my crude humor, as always. I guess they have a program that’s very intensive in Bible studies. I asked him about meeting God. He was still as convinced as when we were ten.  After my stint in the facilities, I thought to ask, “Does that mean you want to die?”

“No!” he snapped.

        An awkward silence, then he apologized for being snappy. He calmly explained that if he were to kill himself, or possibly even die purposely, that he’d risk not going to the Pearly Gates. Of course he prayed,  and volunteered, and really anything he could do to emulate people who’d been Saints. He was working soup kitchens, advocating for AIDS patients, donating as much as his little job would let him to the homeless, and with all of that going on still manage to help out at the women’s shelter. He really latched on to the “whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” bit from the big guy.

    Is it any surprise he hadn’t met God? I knew it wasn’t going to happen, but at the same time, I admired the difference he was making in the world. He called me on my lunch break one day. In one of his religion classes at BJU, the discussion apparently shifted to inmates. Someone said they’d heard a lot of death row inmates suddenly find God once their fate is sealed. In typical Art fashion, he wedged visiting inmates into his schedule. He passed those stories onto me, too. Some of them were absolutely proud of their crimes. No remorse, they nearly pissed themselves laughing at the mention of the Lord or salvation. There were those who’d seeked out salvation. Not all of them through religion, but many of them had. He focused on those. Even the ones who seemed to absolutely believe found it laughable that God had actually come to them. Disappointed, but he added “Prison Ministry” to his resume of good deeds and kept that a few days a month, too.

    I don’t really know if it was the same class, but discussion turned towards, “there are no atheists in a fox hole.” It was like he had been sitting on top of the solution the whole time. He dropped everything and joined the service. Three tours. Afghanistan once, Iraq twice. Assignments everyone else thought were crazy, he was the first in line. Every time he came back, he was the exact same Art. I honestly don’t know if he killed anyone over there. I didn’t want to ask, and he never seemed interested in talking about that part of his job. Eventually, he gave that up, and went back to BJU, this time on a GI Bill.

    I got the impression he wasn’t very strict with himself on his attendance this time around. He was digging into more of the “non-canon” books again. I’m not sure where he found it, but he kept talking about doing works in the name of God as a means of transformation. Art said he was still figuring it out, but that he was starting to see all of the work he’d put in trying to meet God as a means of personal transformation. Service as a chrysalis, he said.

    After that, I never knew when we’d talk. He’d call or show up at all hours of day, exhausted, but somehow invigorated at the same time. I kind of figured maybe he’d had some kind of existential crisis that lead into drugs and drinking. I’d seen it in the facilities, and he certainly fit the archetype that I’d seen do that. I just tried to be there for him as best I could. I tried to bring it up, maybe save him like he’d always tried for me. He swore up and down that he wouldn’t touch anything like that.

    This part of the story is where my details get murky. A rash of murders ripped through our city. Art was the final victim.  There were eight victims in total. The first person was an investment broker. He was plastered all over the news for very likely accusations of embezzlement. They came to raid his condo, expecting that he’d skipped town when he failed to meet his court date. No one was prepared for him, boiled in oil in his hottub. The murderer had broken in, put extra heating elements into the tub and refilled it with vegetable oil. They found two rare coins balanced on his eyes.

    The next victim was similarly high profile. A nationally syndicated personality, known for spewing vitriol and outrage. He targeted anyone outside of his political circle. The person responsible caught him early in the morning going into the studio. The aide that usually arrived at the same time was running late that early morning. The sound proof studio made sure no one heard what must have been a horrific racket. He was chopped, limb from limb. It must have been done quickly, because he had still been gasping for his final breaths when the aide found him. He was too far gone to give a description of his assailant. The camera’s only caught a person in all black, like one of those ANTIFA protesters from recently. No forensic data was recovered.

    The third victim is what started suggestions of more than one killer. The local news reported the wife of the second victim had been found dead in their home. They found her inside of a python. The small video clip of their house showed a small wine cellar that was only accessible from the kitchen. The person, or persons, must have broken in during the funeral and dumped a menagerie of snakes into the cellar after removing the ladder back into the kitchen. They’d removed the hatch and put the rug back over it. When she came home, she fell into Indiana Jones’ nightmare. Copperheads, water moccasins, pythons, cobras, an anaconda that came up missing from the zoo. It was a hateful death sentence. An expert from the zoo said that, if they hadn’t found her for awhile, there may have been nothing left in the python, as they digest bones and all.

    Number four was our Congressman. Not a hometown hero, but not a villain either. He had a passion for expensive wines and dinners. Expensive outings, mostly at the expense of corporations buying his votes. He had been nailed down to a chair in his study. The coroner noted small cuts inside of his mouth, that they chalked up to the rats that had apparently been force-fed to him while live. There were also toads and snakes slithering and hopping around the study, and remnants of them in his stomach at the time of the autopsy.

    At this point, people were mortified. Who was doing this? Comments on the local news’ website for these stories ran the gambit between praising someone for taking out the trash and admiration for their creativity in problem to disgust that no one could catch the person responsible for the depravity and being terrified that it would never stop. The fifth killing flew under the radar, but is now believed to be the fifth in the series of killings. An adult entertainment convention happened through town. One of the actresses was found burned alive in the alley along the hotel she was staying in.

    The sixth victim is where these killings started to find their links cemented past speculation. I personally knew this guy. Art did, as well. He was a science teacher we both had in high school, Mr. Fink. A very capable man, but full of himself to a fault. He was convinced he was God’s gift to everyone. If you cornered him being wrong, he simply gaslighted you into thinking that he was right the whole time. They found him strapped to a waterwheel. Official cause of death? Drowning. They think he rotated on the wheel for days before being found. Someone noticed that all of these were the Hell-bond’s punishments for the Capital Sins.

    They found the last two victims together. Art’s neighbor, Jim. He’d always spent so much of his life trying to one up Art’s family. They got a new car? He bought a boat the next week. Art got into BJU? His son was going to MIT. Art always ignored it. He said if you let the envy bother you, you’re just being prideful, and that’s just as bad. His wife found him in their chest freezer. It had been emptied, filled with water and he’d been forced in. The lid was weighed down with cinder blocks to prevent his escape. He was locked in a block of ice.

    Art was there, too. The police haven’t been able to figure out why he was there. His flesh was singed and his torso was split from neck to pelvis. Since we were so close, I got a chance to see his remains. It reminded me of a used cocoon, a spent husk laying on the garage floor. There wasn’t much left, some bone and flesh. The organs were gone. I did some reading, Art’s death wasn’t a punishment for sin, but Jim’s was. I haven’t heard from Art, but I get this feeling in my chest that he’s out there. Maybe he met God, maybe he turned into what he’d been worshiping all this time?

[rem102]

The Mission to Space

Prologue Ch 1

Summary: Two hackers walk into an RFA party... An innocent night at an RFA party turns into a one night stand, and taking down a terrorist organization.  

(I probably will change this summary later I suck at this)

Tags: 707 x MC, Saeyoung x MC, Mystic Messenger

Rating: (M) Mature for language and adult themes

Authors Note: I have been playing with this idea for a while now and decided to run with it. I would love to hear from you or if you have positive constructive criticism please feel free to let me know! 

I’m going to change the summary later I just cant figure it out quite yet.  

Hours, endless hours of decoding infinite amount of binary and codes. Message after message from governments, important businesses all to protect the public. Nights were long, my brain was fried. I was sick of staring at a computer screen endlessly and passing messages along to my boss. You would think that working as a hacker in a secret branch of the government uncovering bad guys and manipulating the system would be more entertaining than staring at ones and zeros.

I was known as one of the best in my field, infiltrating official’s office and quickly downloading important files on computers without being caught. I was able to decode messages in binary and sort through endless amount of files for certain information. I was contracted through the South Korean government from America to uncover potential threats to society and the government as a whole. After rigged elections and tampering with voting in America, hackers were deemed a potential threat to our own government. Hackers were branded as low-lives and targeted for rigging votes and working with Russian government. It was for safety reasons that the hackers in the sub-group that worked for the government move to other countries to help governments track other potential threats so that the voting scandal would not be repeated again. Hours were long, coding hours in front of an office computer, and working endlessly at home. My roommate had to think I was crazy for never taking a break from work.

I don’t think Amelia even had a clue as to what job I actually had. Luckily, she never even asked about my job.  It was a part of a placement program to help seem like normal every day citizens without drawing too much attention to ourselves in South Korea. I got placed with Amelia, a young entrepreneur who sold bracelets to high end clients. I felt bad turning Amelia down every time she wanted to go out with me. I needed to drink desperately, but more importantly was catch up on much wanted sleep.

I checked my phone dreading reading the actual time. My clock was saying that it was 16:56 PM. I groaned loudly from exhaustion. I stretched in my chair feeling the stress of having pulled and All-Nighter to at least make some sort of dent in my workload. My boss messaged immediately after checking the time.

‘Office now,’ was all that he said. Usually going to his office was about accidentally looking too deep into government business, or it was to hand me more assignments. The thought made me want to throw the piles of work in his face. I logged off my computer making sure all my files were saved and I could pull them up later.

I rubbed my eyes ripping my eyes away from my computer. I was the only one left it seemed in the office. I rarely noticed anymore. I dragged myself down the rows of cubicles to his office not wanting to hear what new task he had in mind for me. I was hoping it was a field mission this time. I was getting antsy just coding all day long. My last mission consisted of posing as a secretary to track important information from a huge company to see who they were dealing with. I creeped into his office and he was standing at the window looking out at the city below. He looked quite distressed than I have seen him before.

“Pierce, you wanted to see me?” I sat down in one of his uncomfortable leather chairs. The ones that were aesthetically pleasing but the hardest piece of furniture in the entire building. Pierce wasn’t his real name. I don’t know anyones real name quite frankly. We all had nicknames to protect our real identity from being exposed.

“Stark”  He said my fake last name very solemnly and monotone.

“I have a new mission for you.” He looked more distressed than usual. In the few months I’ve been in South Korea this was the first time he looked genuinely concerned. He looked pale, and his face sunken in. The expression he wore a furrowed brow a large line across his head and lips pursed to the side as if he was biting his tongue. I became nervous as to what this meeting was actually about.

“I’m assigning you to a field mission. I thought you would be best for this mission due to your experience. However, this is quite a sensitive matter I can only trust to you.” He sat back down at his desk not even taking a moment to look at me arms folded on the table. God, this must be serious.

“What is the case?” I asked fiddling with my hair tie on my wrist out of nerves. Trying not to choke on my words from the flipping of my stomach.

“We recently had a security breach. We were able to stop them before they got too deep into our system. But it seems that they were only looking for a list. The government has a list of potential threats to their cyber security.  More specifically, names of the best hackers in our region.” He looked directly at me his gaze piercing and dark.

“Our sources say that on that list are hackers that could easily break into private servers and have unlimited access to classified information including trade, military locations, and arms dealers. The group that was identified as a group of  terrorists and they will stop at nothing to get their hands on someone to help them break into the governments system.” This was why Pierce looked so troubled. This was a crisis situation.

I felt sick to my stomach. “What does this have to do with me-“ I started before I could finish he cut me off. His hands supporting his head.

“Your name is on the list as a potential target along with several other members from a separate organization. They will more than likely be sending their best people to hunt you down and get you to do what they have unable to access. They are only looking for select group of people with your specific skill set. We tried tracing back their IP address and could only find that they accessed the list on a computer in South Korea. I want you to try to figure out who and what this organization is after.”

“You want me to find them before they find me and before they try and seek out the others.” I clarified for my own understanding.

“We already had an agent killed that was on the list. Their entire family were used as pawns to try and get what they want. That is how the list was obtained, when the agent fought back to stop the download before the entire list could be released. The group were only able to obtain your name and two others that have the ability to hack into government servers. If you don’t do what they ask they will kill you.”

He handed me a letter that was still sealed. “What is this?” I asked curious as to how this sealed letter was going to help me not be hunted down by terrorists who now knew my name, and my face. They would be able to find me in days if I was not careful.  

“Your first step for the assignment. I have given you a large amount of funds to help you from an unknown source. However, I cannot risk other agents lives further with implicating our organization.” He wasn’t able to help me much further after this letter and giving me instructions. I would be hunted down by this group, my every move carefully calculated.

“I understand” I said as I peeled away the wax seal to the envelope.

Winter Masquerade

We would like to extend the invitation to join us for a night of celebration. Please dress in formal attire and wear a mask. We hope you will attend the formal event with dancing, music and drinks. Silent auction and photography will be on display, and available for purchase. All donations go to benefit mental health programs and groups around the area.

Sincerely, The R.F.A.

“The R.F.A?” I asked not familiar with this organization before.

“Yes, a prominent foundation of a group of elites, a CEO, an actor, hackers, a photographer, college student, and assistant. An odd bunch of individuals.”

“And you want me to do what exactly?” I asked confused as to how this would help me not get killed.

“I want you to try to get in touch with the RFA to assist us on this case considering that their hackers were also among the names released to the terrorist group. If we intervene before the terrorist group starts hunting you down you have a better chance to stop them. If you want take down their organization from the inside you are going to need some help.”

“I have to find the other hackers at this party. I see now.”

“Once you find someone that is able to put you into contact or meet someone from the RFA get into contact with me and I will do my best to direct you from there. I know this is a lot to process but you have limited amount of time before they come looking for you. I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling about this information.”

“I’m not sure exactly how to sound calm in this situation knowing that they are trying to kill me.”

“I understand, and I’m sorry that you are in such a situation, but we cant let this group have access to this information.”

“What if I can’t get into contact with the hackers? Do you have headshots of the hackers or am I just taking a good guess? I can’t just be asking anyone at this party if they are hackers.”

“I only have their names. Unusual code names ‘Unknown’ and ‘707’ to go off of. If you can’t make contact with someone that knows them try to get into contact with anyone that might have any idea who they are.”

“What if they don’t agree to helping?” I asked wondering how to get someone to help take down an organization with no evidence besides this conversation I am having right now.

“Than the terrorists will have an easier time getting what they want, which must not be allowed.”

“We will of course be following you during this mission without having the terrorists trace it back to us. You have the clear to make decisions independent from this organization. I hope you don’t have to use your gun, but you know what to do if necessary.”

I nodded trying to calm my racing heart. I have never thought about actually having to kill someone that were actively trying to hunt me down.

“Thank you,” I said quietly bowing my head.

“Be safe, we can’t lose one of our best.”

“Yeah I know you need me too much.” Pierce laughed walking me to the door.

“Don’t die.” He said jokingly, but was a surprisingly real possibility now.

“I’ll do my best, however, I’ll haunt this office if anything happens.” I joked back trying to keep a level head.

I could not focus my mind driving home worried I was being followed. This was a huge problem. I have to find the hackers in the RFA and ensure that they work with me to take down their system or at least gather information about what their ultimate plans are. They will ultimately use our families, friends, anyone with a personal relation to us in order for compliance. How hard could it be to find a hacker, we were all the same, mysterious, heroes in the shadows, not wanting to stand out from the crowd. I laughed to myself at the impossibility. I just hoped that the other hackers would be willing to go on a life or death mission to take down a terrorist group, or I was screwed.

__________________________________________________________

I was shaking when I put my key in the apartment door. They could already be here waiting for me. I tried to steady my hand as I opened the door. My hand on my gun that was concealed in my pocket. My heart beating so loudly I couldn’t hear anything else around me. My palms were sweaty from nerves. I was relieved to see my roommate sprawled out on the couch eating pizza rolls and watching the latest episode of her favorite TV series. My finger relaxed against the trigger of my gun and took a deep breath to calm my beating heart. I had to leave before they figure out where I live and do something to my roommate.

“I was worried that you would be trapped at work again!” She said fixing herself on the couch. She paused the TV so she would not miss a minute.

“Catching up on that show again?” I asked and she nodded taking another sip of wine from the now empty bottle sitting on the coffee table. “The show is totally awful but I just watch for Zen. He’s too hot to resist such husband material. He at least makes the show bearable.” I laughed at her. Did that laugh sound forced? I need to play it cool.

“We both got interesting mail today.” She said getting up to go to the kitchen. I put my laptop down at my computer desk and hung my coat up before walking into the kitchen to find her.

“but I never get mail.”

She handed me the letter, “well we both did and from the same people.” I looked at the letter addressed to me. The same envelope with the same curly cursive writing I saw earlier and know exactly what this is. I opened the aged paper and pretended as if I had never seen the invitation before. Amelia waited anxiously for my response.

“Will you come to the party with me?” She asked leaning against my shoulder.

“This is a party?” I told her trying to play along.

“I guess some uppity people throw these huge parties to raise money to donate to other charities. A bunch of different people from different backgrounds all go to drink and have a good time. This year it looks like its more of a club event.”

“How did you get invited?” I asked wondering what the odds were that she also received an invitation.

“My work is sending me to advertise our new line of bracelets. The fair Lady of Bracelets had to be invited.” She said drunkenly in an English accent. She spun around before un-gracefully crashed onto a kitchen chair.

“We should go. Please we need to go out more and you are working yourself to death already. This would be a good time to go find ourselves some rich husbands.”

“I have a lot of work I need to catch up on.” I told her trying to make it seem like a challenge.

“Really? When was the last time we both went out?”

“Umm… A few months ago. Ok, Ok yes I’m a work-a-holic.” I admitted to her, and to myself. Even before getting drafted to take down this organization I rarely made time for myself.

“So let’s go, have a few drinks, flirt with a few guys, dance like nobody is watching, and jump back into the dating scene.” She said looking quite serious about finally dragging me out of the house.

“Ugh Fine! Twist my arm why don’t you?” I told her throwing my hands in the air giving into her persistence. Not that I wasn’t already assigned to go anyways.

“You were going to say yes regardless. Please you want to go I can read you like a book.”

“Maybe you are right,” I laughed. She was right I was an easy read and I set the invitation down on the table.

“Good, tomorrow we go dress shopping. You will actually look like a female who doesn’t spend hours in front of a computer and puts effort into her appearance.”

“Hey! Rude!” I slapped her shoulder with the envelope with the letter still in it playfully. She blocked it easily.

“You will be thanking me later when you let me give you a makeover you deserve, men will flock to you!”

I rolled my eyes at her.

“Oh don’t you worry I’ll turn the geek into a princess for a night. I’m like your fairy god mother except the night doesn’t end at midnight. I will find you a nerdy geek prince sent from the heavens to ask for your hand in marriage.” She smiled to herself grabbing another bottle of wine from the fridge before making her way back to the couch.

She pressed the play button on the TV. Zen was delivering a passionate line to his co-star. “I’m going on a business trip soon and don’t know when I will be back.” I told her sitting next to her on the couch.

“Oh really?” Amelia knew that I couldn’t talk much about my job, and she never really asked questions. She knew that my job was dangerous and never pried into what exactly my line of work was. She looked at me and saw my concerned look on my face.

“That might explain the mysterious trip I am also going on for work to sell the bracelets. Don’t worry I have no idea who you are if anyone asks. But if you need someone to bail you out of jail don’t hesitate to call.” She said casually grabbing the bottle of wine and pouring two glasses and handing it to me.

“In which case we have to make this the best night out.” I told her, smiling. The last night of normalcy before I am on the run for my life.

Amelia held her wine glass up and said, “Now you’re talking.” Clinking my own glass with her own and I quickly threw back the wine as if it was the last drop of alcohol on the planet. If I was going to try to get into contact with two hackers I have no idea who or what they look like I’m going to need liquid courage.

[i-honestlydon-tcare]

Life So Far, part 5

So this is the longest bit of the story, but the most important so don’t lose interest?

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Warnings: Language, violence, major character death

Word count: 3703

Castiel hadn’t thought about Cal in 8 years.

     After awhile it became easy. He would punish himself if his mind started to move toward her.

     He traveled, helped people when they needed it. Eventually he zeroed in on Fray Harris. He was a Warlock in Allagash, Maine who practiced white magic, healer’s magic. He helped him once with an accidentally summoned demon, and decided to stick around.

     Fray was handsome and talented. Castiel didn’t feel uncomfortable around him, or stupid. Fray acted like he did. Both of them were in the world, but neither felt a part of it.

     They got used to each other. Fray eventually let Castiel stay in his basement. He got a job to help support them. He worked in a local used book store. It was a good environment for him. The serenity, and musty feel of the books reminded him of a better time in Heaven.

    Fray would bring him lunch, drop him off, pick him up. For all intents and purposes he was his family.

     Castiel and Fray rarely spoke. They were just sort of aware of each other. 

     Immediately, they could understand each other’s expressions, though they rarely left anything unsaid.

     After awhile Castiel grew to love Fray Harris. HE loved him as well, but neither of them could ever say it. Heartbreak was a nasty thing.

     Castiel awoke, feeling uneasy, but not knowing why. This same morning, Cal Maclaughlin and Dean Winchester would set out to find their kidnapped daughter. He dismissed the feeling and got out of bed. He looked at the clock and realized it was his turn to make breakfast.

     He got to the kitchen and started to cook just moments before Fray came downstairs in his sweatpants and t-shirt. His wavy blonde hair was sticking up in every direction, and his glasses sat slightly askew on his nose. His glasses enlarged his dark brown eyes, which was his best feature, in Cass’ opinion.

     “You look nice, Fray,” 

     “Thank you, Castiel. What are you making today?”

     “Something with eggs.”

     Fray gave a breathy laugh which made the angel smile. Though Fray and Castiel were very much alike, Fray was more laid back. It helped Castiel even out.

     “Anything special happening at the book-store today?”

     “Tanya Jones is dropping off a donation today.”

     The room was suddenly very tense. Fray was extremely jealous of Tanya. She was very flirtatious with Castiel. That, and the fact that Fray didn’t know if his roommate was gay resulted in him feeling jilted every time she was brought up.

     Castiel was completely in love with Fray, and if he was open about that, neither men would feel so poorly.

Cal and Dean were walking down the beach with the daughter, Mary. The sand had always gotten on Dean’s nerves but Mary and Cal loved nothing more than building castles and playing in the surf. He couldn’t imagine anything better than seeing how happy they were.

     This was something they all really needed after the last few months.

After a few months, Cass completely forgot about waking up feeling uneasy, but it happened just in time for him to wake up with a knot in his stomach again.

     Fray was making breakfast when Castiel came upstairs, and Cass made his seat at the table. 

     “You want eggs and bacon, or just eggs?”

     “Just eggs,”

     Fray turned towards the table with the skillet, revealing his unbuttoned shirt, and bare chest.

     Castiel’s breath hitched. 

     “Are you alright?”

     Both men blushed profusely. 

     Fray, for the hundredth time, wondered if Castiel was blushing because of him. Fray was not toned. He wasn’t overweight but he wasn’t a beefcake by any definition. He had a nice face, but he wasn’t notably attractive. He couldn’t understand why Castiel stuck around. Castiel was kind, considerate, smart, socially awkward along with being handsome. Fray was finally comfortable with a guy.

Mary loved it when Dean let her hold onto his shoulders when he swam. Of course, Dean continued to tire, but Mary never did.

     Cal played with them as well, but Mary was a daddy’s girl. 

     “Watch her like a hawk, baby. I gotta go to the bathroom,”

     He nodded, floating with his dark-haired little girl. She was by far the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Nothing could compare to her.

     Suddenly, Dean thought he saw someone in the shadow of a tree that he recognized. He stiffened and pulled Mary closer.

     “What’s wrong, daddy?”

     “Nothing, sweetie. Daddy just saw an old friend.” He looked back to the shadow, but it was gone.

     “Was it Uncle Sam?” She asked excitedly.

     “No, honey,”

     Dean spotted Cal on the beach, waving frantically for him to get out of the water. He started toward the beach, Mary still squeezed tightly in his arms.

     “We have to go, Dean.” 

     “I agree.” The family set off to the parking lot.

      Cal’s blue truck was parked fairly close to where they were swimming, but it felt too far.

     “This was a bad idea.” Cal said breathlessly.

     “She swung open the back door and Dean jumped in with Mary. Cal got into the drivers seat and hurried out to the road. “Did you see her?”

     Dean made eye-contact with his wife in the rear-view mirror. He nodded.

     “Damn it!” Cal hit the steering wheel. “I wished…” Her voice cracked.

     Dean knew what she meant, and he wouldn’t force her to say it out loud. She wished she had been imaging things. She wished she could have gone the rest of her life without seeing her sister again.

                                                     8 years earlier

Dean couldn’t move. He just stared at Cal cradling her bloody son. He had failed. His soul ached, but whatever he was feeling was nothing compared to what Cal felt. Her son… her only son. The first person she loved. 

     It wasn’t real. He couldn’t be dead. It was impossible. He still had to grow up, learn how to shoot a gun, find a nice partner and keep hunting. How could he not experience those things? How could it end so quickly?

     Her baby…

     She silently asked God how he could take her baby away. How could he let such a young and innocent life end?

     Dean wanted to move forward and take the child away; bury him properly. He knew it would be better that way. He stepped forward. “Cal, we should bury him.”

     “He’s not dead!” She sobbed. “He can’t be.”

     Dean kneeled down next to her. His eyes fixed on James’ big blue ones. He attributed the eyes to James’s father. He brought his hand forward and closed them.

     Cal’s cries continued to quiet until her body was just trembling. “Not gone. Not yet.”

      Dean’s eyes clouded over with tears. “I’m sorry, Cal. I didn’t move fast enough. It’s my fault.”

     Cal looked up at him. She still trembled with sobs and her tears still washed her cheeks, but her motherly instinct took over. “Dean it wasn’t your fault. I knew Emile was close to breaking, and I didn’t do anything to stop it.”

     “Where did she go?”

     “I don’t fucking know, Dean.”

     The older Winchester stood and set off to find a shovel.

                                                      Present time

In the back seat of Cal’s light blue Ford F-250 Dean cradled Mary in his arms. His daughter had fallen asleep as soon as they got into the car.

     “It’s my fault.” Dean whispered. “I didn’t track her down and now-”

     “Dean, shut the hell up! Do you think I give two fucks about you right now? That bitch killed my son and now there’s the possibility  she could kill my daughter. Maybe it’s your fault, maybe it’s not. Baby, I really can’t think about that right now.”

     Dean nodded. He too was worried about Mary’s safety. It was only a few months before that she was kidnapped.

     “Wait. Cal, what if Emile was behind it?”

     “Behind what, Dean?”

     “All those vamps taking Mary. What if Emile was behind it? The warehouse was near where you used to live right? So what if she wanted to get close to you or something?”

     “That little bitch.” Cal muttered. “If you’re right… oh, God, Dean. What if she’s been watching us this whole time?”

“Hello,” Fray walked into the bookstore where Castiel worked, carrying his lunch with him.

     “Did you bring extra food?” Castiel asked, noting the amount of food Fray had as opposed to other lunches he had provided.

     “I thought I could join you today.”

     They sat in silence, eating their sandwiches and salad.

     “Do you like Tanya?” Fray asked quietly.

     “No. Why on earth would you ask that?” Castiel made unrelenting eye contact with his companion. Cal’s face flashed in his mind, making him feel off balance.

     “Do you… like… anyone?” 

     Cass looked away. “That is a childish question.” His heart pounded. Memories that he had repressed for over eight years suddenly came flooding back.

                                                    13 years earlier

Cal Maclaughlin sat in her motel room drinking. She was 6 shots and 4 beers into the night without any sign of stopping.

     “Getting drunk every night is not healthy.”

     Cal turned sharply toward the voice. An attractive man in a trench coat stood next to her bed. “Who the fuck are you, and why are you in my room?”

     “My name is Castiel. I’m an angel of the Lord.”

     Cal laughed and stood unsteadily. “Oh yeah? Well, I’m Mickey Mouse.”

     “You are not a mouse. That is a drunken delusion.”

     “What the hell? I’m a human just like you. And you need to leave.”

     “I’m an angel.”

     Cal rolled her eyes, which almost caused her to fall over. “Get the fuck out of my room.”

     “I need to speak with you Calista Maclaughlin. It is important.”

     Cal stepped forward, suddenly intrigued. “What?”

     Castiel stared into her eyes. Now that he was being housed by a human he felt things that didn’t make sense to him. His stomach was tying into knots, his heart was racing, his palms were sweaty. “I…” He cleared his throat. “I am an angel. I have been watching you and your siblings for some time now.”

                                                       Present time

Cal pulled into her drive-way, wary for the first time since living in that house.

     She got out of the truck, a gun at her side, and opened the back door for her husband. They hurried inside and up the stairs to the master bedroom. Once the door was locked and Mary was tucked into bed, Cal pulled Dean over to the corner. “We need to get ready. We can lock Mary in the bathroom, and defend the house if Emile shows up.”

     “I know. I’m going to call Sam.”

     “He won’t come.”

     Dean pulled out his phone and hit speed dial 2. 

     Sam picked up. “Dean?”

     “Sammy?”

     “Why are you calling me?”

     “I need help. There are vamp-”

     “Fuck you, Dean. Handle it yourself. You have no right to be asking me for help. Not after what happened with Leah. Call someone else in, but don’t even try and manipulate me like this. Lose this number.” He hung up.

     Dean called back, not expecting Sam to answer this time, and left a message.

     “Dean, we might not live through this.” Cal muttered.

     “I know.”

     “I have to tell you something.”

                                                   13 years earlier

“So, you’re telling me… that my sister’s a vampire?”

     “Yes.”

     Cal sat on her bed while Castiel stood stiffly in front of her.

     “And you know this because you’re an angel who stalks me and my family.”

     “I observe.”

     It took Cal a few minutes to wrap her drunken mind around it. She had been a hunter her whole life, she was raised in it, but never had she heard of angels. She could believe this guy was stalking her family, hell, she could even believe her sister was a vamp, but an angel?

     That was too much.

     “I just can’t believe you, Cass.” Cal said. “Honestly, I’m so drunk right now I could believe anything but…”

     Castiel reached forward and put his palm on Cal’s forehead. Her fuzzy mind was cleared. She wasn’t drunk anymore. 

     “How did you do that?” Cal asked with fear.

     “I’m an angel.”

     “Okay, so you’re a witch.”

     Castiel scrunched his eyebrows. “I said angel.”

     “Angels do not exist!” Cal yelled. “There’s no way!”

     Castiel sighed, feeling exasperated which was another new emotion.

     “Do something a witch can’t do.” Cal scooted back on her bed. “and maybe I’ll believe you.”

     Castiel moved forward and offered his hand. Cal accepted it and immediately was no longer in her room. She looked around and tried to figure out her surroundings. She was on top of a building surrounded by bright lights.

     “We are in Tokyo.”

     Cal looked at the foreign signs and realized that she was. She was in Tokyo. 

     Just as fast as she got there, she was back in her motel room. Castiel let go of her hand.

     Cal stared at him in awe. “I believe you. You’re an angel. Why did you come all this way to tell me my sister’s a blood sucker?”

     Castiel couldn’t find the words to answer. He wasn’t sure why he had always been attached to Calista. He watched her from Heaven as much as he could. Then a few weeks ago he was sent to speak with Dean Winchester. That was when he started planning a visit to wherever Cal was.

                                                      Present time

Fray sat quietly in his living room while Castiel showered. He was feeling a little heartsick. Yes, asking if Castiel ‘liked’ anyone was childish but if he felt about Fray the way Fray felt about him he would say so, right?

     He heard the shower turn off and decided he couldn’t handle a conversation with Cass yet. He stood and walked out the door, planning on being back soon.

                                                   13 years earlier

Cal laughed. “I am not important to God’s plan.”

     She wasn’t, but it was the only reason Castiel could thing of. “Yes, you are. And God doesn’t want your sister’s condition to hinder that.”

     Calista stepped up to Cass. She was short so she had to look up, but their faces were only a few inches apart.

     “You definitely have the face of an angel.”

     “This is a human vessel, not my true form.”

     “Ya know, unlike other hunters, I have a kind of checklist that I have for monsters.”

     Castiel knew about the checklist. Cal wanted to sleep with every kind of monster she could. It was something Castiel found distasteful.

     “I haven’t been with an angel.” She smirked.

     Cass scrunched his eyebrows. “It is late. You are not thinking clearly.”

     “Maybe not.” She put her hands on Cass’ torso, running them up to his chest. “But I don’t really care.” She grabbed his tie and pulled him down to her level. A tiny voice in her mind told her to stop but she blocked it out.

      “I have not had human relations.”

      “Don’t worry, baby,” Cal kissed him softly. “I’ll go easy on you.”

                                                      Present time

“What?” Dean asked in disbelief.

     “James was Castiel’s son.” Calsaid shakily.

     “Did Cass know?”

     Cal shrugged. “I never told him. It was his first time and we didn’t know each other. I was young and promiscuous. I didn’t know how to handle it. I mean he was an all knowing angel so maybe he knew but he never said anything.”

     Dean clenched and loosened his jaw. “Did James know his daddy was an angel?”

     Cal stared at her husband sadly. “I’m sorry, Dean. But if we die…” I didn’t want anything left secret between us. I love you.”

     Dean wrapped Cal up in his arms and looked over at Mary. “You shouldn’t be sorry and we should be ready… so we don’t die.” He smiled wryly. 

     Together they went to the next room over and unloaded their weapons. 

     Cal heard noise outside and looked out the window. Emile and 8 others were standing on the front lawn.

     “Damn.”

“Fray, answer your phone!” Castiel’s roommate wasn’t answering his phone. Cass had stepped out of the shower and suddenly everything felt off.

     While in the shower thought, things hadn’t exactly felt right. All the memories of Calista left him feeling angry and sad. For years he had longed to hold her like he had on the night of their first meeting. He wanted her to look at him with longing and admiration again.

     5 years of painful encounters was 5 years too many.

     He hadn’t thought about Calista in so long he had forgotten what it felt like. He had forgotten that kind of pain.

     Now, Fray had disappeared. He partly wondered if he had left him. It wouldn’t be the first time someone he loved ditched him. Fray probably found something better, like Cal did with Dean.

     Castiel closed his eyes and focused on Fray’s soul. With enough concentration he could appear beside him. He opened his eyes and saw Fray sitting on a park bench in their favorite park. 

     He looked up and they made eye contact. “How did you know where I was?”

     Castiel moved closer and sat down. “I’m an angel.”

     Fray nodded. “I’m going to leave.”

     “Are you sure? I mean if you need a vacation that’s up to you. I’d keep the house looking nice.”

     “Castiel… I’m moving. I’ve been thinking about it, and I would probably get better business in a bigger town. I don’t want you to come with me.”

     “Why?” Castiel felt his eyes start to tear up and looked away.

     “Because you and I are on different pages.”

     Castiel nodded. What they didn’t know was that they both misunderstood. Castiel thought Fray didn’t love him so he was leaving. Fray though Castiel didn’t love him so he was running because he couldn’t find any other solution.

     Fray stood. “I’ll see ya around, Cassy.”

     Castiel’s stomach churned and his heart fluttered. Somehow being called Cassy made his problems seem smaller, easier.

     “I’m sorry,” Castiel said breathlessly, his eyes never leaving Fray, wanting to memorize every bit of him.

     “Me too.”

Emile and her gang stared up at Cal and Dean. Cal felt darkness settling in her heart. Nothing good could come of this.

     “Let’s go.” Dean beckoned for Cal to follow him and they went downstairs. 

     They stood at the front door. Dean had his hand on the lock. “You ready?”

     “As I’ll every be, baby.” 

     He opened the door and Cal charged out with her sword. A vamp was right at the door and she was able to kill it. Dean killed the next but the rest hung back in a group. Dean closed the door. 

     “What do you want, Emile? Why can’t you just move on with your life?”

     “I want that little bastard you and this guy made. For some reason I really hate her.” Emile said with a smile.

     Dean and Cal advanced slowly. “You’re not like this.” Cal said softly. “I don’t know why you became this way, but when you were human you weren’t like this.”

     Emile whistled and the 7 of them ran toward the couple. The first three fell, but a pair of claws caught Dean in the throat. 

     “No!” Cal screamed. The distraction let another vamp claw Cal’s stomach. 

     The couple continued to try and fight. Dean’s vision was blurring, he could feel his own blood soaking his shirt. He could see Cal staggered, trying to hold in her intestines. 

     Dean collapsed, choking on his blood.

     Emile’s laughter echoed in Cal’s ears. Her sister sauntered forward and smiled at her. “You ready to die, kiddo? Then I can get that daughter of yours.”

     Cal’s energy surged and she moved forward. She swung her sword, and finally, finally, finally, Emile’s head fell. The vampires watched their leader fall and stood dumbly for a few moments, which allowed Cal to move back toward her husband. She collapsed next to him. 

     Her head turned to his. “Dean? Baby?”

     His green eyes were glassy, and Cal turned away. She closed her eyes as the vampires came toward her. She called out to Castiel and asked him to save her daughter. 

     Two of the vampires entered the house to find Mary while the other was sent to finish off Cal.

     As Cal’s vision faded she saw Dean smiling. “Come on. Follow me. She’ll be okay.”

Fray changed his mind almost immediately. So Castiel didn’t love him; he was still his best friend. They were family if not anything else.

     He tried calling him a few times but he wasn’t answering.

     Sitting in his bedroom, he realized he had lost him. Maybe forever.

     So Fray decided to get drunk. He bought two six packs and listened to his favorite angry music. He was in the middle of Angry Heart by Black Sabbath when the music stopped. He looked over to the stereo and saw Castiel holding a young girl.

     “You’re not real. You’re just a drunken hallucination. Not real. Don’t love me. Don’t want me.” Fray collapsed on the bed and started crying.

     Castiel set the girl on the recliner in the corner and laid down on the bed next to the love of his life. “They’re gone.” He muttered. “I’ve been feeling it coming for months, but now its happened. They’re gone. Not coming back.”

     Castiel stared into Fray’s brown eyes. They were so much kinder than Cal’s eyes. Cal’s were cold and calculating, which was fine for Dean, but Fray… Fray was Castiel’s other half. 

     “I want Cassy.”

      “I’m here, Fray.”

     “I want Cassy… and a family. I want him to love me,”

     “Is he okay?” A small voice asked. 

     Castiel turned to see Mary standing nearby. Her little hands were wrapped together across her stomach. Her dark curly hair was sticking up in all directions after sleeping.

     “No. He’s sad.” Castiel himself had tears dripped down his face.

     “Are you sad too?” Mary asked.

     “Yes, I am”

     “Where are my mommy and daddy?”

     Castiel looked at the floor. “They’re gone. You won’t see them again.”

     Mary started to cry, so Cass picked her up. He set her down between him and Fray and together they all three cried. 

[silly-little-nerf-header]

@katsudon-fatalexeros my writing partner

Once again the train was packed and Yuri could feel Viktor once more pressed to him." So my Russian is horrid maybe you could help me? It might make being at school here easier right?" Yuri was trying to think about other things but failing miserably

"I think I can handle that." He wrapped his arms around the smaller males waist as they stood on the train. "Our school is a melting pot, that's for sure. So many different cultures." He laid his head on Yuri's shoulder. "But known as sweet as you."

Yuri could feel the weight of the older male pressing to him and his heartbeat quickened blood rushing everywhere but to his brain. Has the train came to their stop Yuri gave a small whine saying they need to get to Yuri's place.

He arched a brow with the whine and lead them off the train. They turned in the direction of Yuri's place and Viktor smiled. "That little whine you have is rather adorable." He smiled brightly toward him with his hands in his pockets

Yuri played with his fingers as they walked along it didn't take them but a few minutes to get to Yuri's place. Opening the door to a small studio apartment."I have um tea or do you eat and drink normal food at all?

He chuckled softly. "I actually love tea." He shut the door behind him, backing his pack on the sofa. "You don't have to be nervous, Yuri. I'm as normal as everyone else." He made his way to the kitchen to watch as Yuri made them tea

How could Yuri explain that what Viktor was, wasn't why he was nervous. Yuri was nervous because this incredibly handsome guy kept pressing up against him. Moving slowly he started a kettle has he moved towards the small desk like table on the floor."

He waved his hand in the air as he started talking about the things a vampire could and couldn't have. He couldn't flat out come and tell Yuri that he wanted to be around him 24/7 probably without coming off as some creepy stalker type

They eventually went over the living arrangements and how Yuri had come to live here more about his blood condition."I have to donate quite a bit every time I go, you grow tired of the needles push into your skin. Your um..biting feels better even if it does leave some bruising."Yuri knew that they had Vampires that chose one or multiple humans even eventually marked them has their own if they were favourite enough."

He chuckled softly. "Well, we could find other areas if you don't wish for them to be there." He wiggled his eyebrows playfully. Viktor was orgins for sure. He talked about how he had came here, about how his dad was gone and his mother was a nurse. How he looked like he was worth a million bucks but really wasn't. He also spoke about how he was tired of having multiple drinking partners and was trying to stop and just have one That made Yuri feel less special but he hoped not to show anything on his face. Frame moving slowly as he grabbed the tea off of the stove and sat cups in front of them pouring the liquid has he looked outside the long window." You're still ranked far better than I in the world vampires are held in high regard

He barked a laugh as he took the tea and thanked him. "Only because we kill." He took a sip as a small moan escaped his lips. "We aren't anymore special than anyone else. Now you.." He smiled at Yuri. "You are very very special."

Yuri let his head fall to the side." My parents always said I would be a prize to a vampire with the way I produce blood. It means I don't faint easy, and that they rarely have to watch how they feed on me. Though you're the first one to ever bite me

He tilted his head to the side. "Well, that's not the only reason you'd be a prize to anyone. you really would be a prize, I'd see you more as as diamond or a ruby something rare and needing protection."

Yuri was moving his body moving to slowly remove his blazer and hang it as his optics turning back to Viktor before giving a broad smile."That's sweet Viktor, but I mean I'm just me. I don't really see it."Yuri

"Well, I don't really see what's so fascinating about myself either but I seem to have groupies." He chuckled softly, taking his tea and moving to sit down on the sofa. "Maybe it's the hair. I stats always the hair."

"So what do you find interesting about me, you're the first male to over compliment my well bottom."Yuri was looking around the room clearly nervous

He barked a laugh. "Well, when I first met you, I knew you were hiding behind a mask. You were new, things were scary. You didn't know anyone. But, I knew underneath that, you were special."

"Viktor." Distracted Yuri managed to scrape against the injured palm and gave a small hiss, he didn't know what that meant at all. What Yuri wanted to know was what the older male wished from him. Palm held by the other it had been scraped open and he gave a sigh

He smiled softly as he sat his tea down and rose, moving over to the smaller male.and taking his palm in his hand. "Not the answer you wanted huh." He brought the injuries palm to his lips, kissing at it softly. "I know I want to be close to you, other then that I don't know."

Yuri felt the flush creep back and God he must seem like a damned loser, always blushing at what the other male said but he calmed himself any way. Palm still cupped in the other male's hand and he saw blood coming through the gauze

"You know, it's nothing to be ashamed of." He smiled softly, taking the gauze off his hand. "It just takes some getting use to get use to someone passing you compliments." He pressed a soft kiss to his hand. "Come. I can fix this."

Yuri followed him without question, soft footsteps as he was led away."I'm sorry if I always seem a little over eager for your bite Viktor. The truth is I prefer it to donating but it's okay I understand you have more than one."

He smiled softly. "I completely understand. And you have no reasons to apologize. It is my meal after all." He ran some warm water and softly began to clean the wound to Yuri's hand. He was as soft as he could be, not wanting to do anything that would hurt him.

"So I do taste good to you then?"Yuri knew Vampires a lot better then when he'd originally came to town also spending time with Viktor had slightly improved his Russian even if not well it was better than before. A soft smile has the palm was treated."Your fangirls don't bother me, but wouldn't it bother you if they thought you were well into guys?"

"You taste amazing." Viktor's tone was playful as he spoke. He was finished cleaning his palm before he began to dry it off, the bleeding hand stopped for now. "And I don't really care what they think. they matter nothing to me and make too much noise."

"What are your favourite places to bite, if it's only the wrist you want we could probably do that in class....though I promise I'll get better at not making any sounds if you try."Yuri was rambling again

He chuckled softly. "The wrist is only if I can't get to my other place. I like to bite on the inner thigh." He wiggled his brows slightly. "That's really my favorite place to bite."

Yuri felt his body tremble at the thought and then he thought of the people who get paid to be bitten wherever the Vampire wished. His own copper optics going up before he noticed the time." It's late Viktor won't your parents worry?" It wasn't rejection just shyness has he tried to control his breathing

He arched a brow, a cool gel.cream going on the wound as he reached for a bandage. "Nah. Mom's at work. She let's me do more or less anything I want." He smiled softly as he spoke.

"And what is it you want to do Viktor?" His words were calm the other male still leaning over his slender frame. Optics locked to sapphire hues has he tried to control how crimson he became under Viktor's gaze

He smiled softly. "Get to know you better." He slowly began to wrap the bandage around Yuri's hand, taking extra care about it. "Talking to you, being around you just seems to come natural."

Yuri nodded and gave a soft smile as he walked his way out of the bathroom and moving to grab a cookie with a smile before he laid back on his bed." So what do you wanna know He followed, grabbing a cookie himself with a smile. "We can do whatever. Homework, study, watch tv, talk." He sniffed the cookie for as moment before taking a small bite.

Yuri gave a soft smile flicking on the TV and patting the spot on his bed. Yuri was not opposed to spending time with Viktor in fact he enjoyed it quite a bit

He smiled, sitting on the bed where it was patted and sniffed the cookie once again. "What exactly is this?" He tilted his head, watching the telly.

Yuri looked down at the cookie."Chinsuko, it's a cake cookie. I made them the other day....are they funny tasting. My mom does them so better than me." Yuri let his optics drift back to Viktor palms playing with the sheets before he relaxed

"Well, I've never eaten one before."  He smacked his lips together lightly. "I can only eat small bites anyway but it was good." He sat the rest of the cookie down before turning his attention to Yuri. "This must be so weird for you."

Yuri let his head fall to the side confusion placing over his features."What do you mean by that Viktor?" Palms moving over his own lap and dusting away any cookie crumbs

"Like little tastes." He smiled softly. "My main staple is blood of course. If I eat a lot of human food it can make me sick, even kill me." He smiled softly and looked at the cookie crumb dust. "What did you think I meant?"

Yuri didn't know what he had thought, Viktor had simply said it must be weird for him. Giving a warm smile he shook his head and turned his attention to the TV even though he wasn't truly watching it

He yawned softly before he laid back against the bed, he reached for Yuri's pillow and curled around it tightly, inhaling deeply. "You smell really good too."

Yuri looked back at him and gave a soft smile."You can stay the night if you want to."His room was sat up with a small mattress on the floor but it was big enough for two and Yuri didn't mind having guests it was nice to not be alone.

He smiled softly. "You're being so nice to someone you just met." He wiggled a little and took his wrist, light kisses littering the skin. "I don't think anyone had ever been this nice to me."

Yuri melted under the touch his free palm removing the gauze so he could bite again if he pleased."You've been nice to me as well, with your fan girls and personality I know you could be one of the most popular, but you still treat me with respect. I can also tell your tired, what's the worst you could do draw on my face?" Yuri teased

He barked a laugh. "I'm popular but I don't like it." He smiled softly laying Yuri's arm across his neck, feeling the beating pulse. "I just don't feel that I've done anything to be popular other than my looks and it's maddening at times." He arched a brow. "I always feel tired."

"Then perhaps you're not eating enough, are you well."Yuri placed the back of his palm to Viktor's head has if that was some to tell

He chuckled softly. "I'm well enough, I suppose for a dead creature." But his tone was playful and his words light. "I feel fine enough and we don't really get sick."

Yuri moved slightly shifting so he was laying down in a sleeping position pulling his glasses off and putting them away. Yuri gave a soft smile as he laid back against the mattress."Right. It's a habit to be concerned

He couldn't say that he didn't mind the smaller male showing his concern. It was actually rather refreshing. "Thank you. It's been a long time since anyone has." He kept his hands to himself but he couldn't stop the way that he curled in Yuri's body.

Yuri moved slowly but didn't seem to pull away from the touch, some how they became close and best friends or at least Yuri thought of the vampire as his friend.