#she doesnt seem too bothered so i think we're safe
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where are you from? This seems like an alola thing if ive ever seen one
I think I'm from there? I barely remember honestly, I remember the ocean and like... lots of tall trees? That sounds right tbh
#pokemon irl#unreality#chrono#anonymous#its so strange like i know i had to have come from somewhere but its just not There for me fully#me and Sunrise have just been rummaging around this cave in the meantime#she doesnt seem too bothered so i think we're safe#we found some berries!!!!#shes horking them down
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☀︎︎-: 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍 :-☀︎︎
Kimetsu no yaiba x reader
°•.《 characters 》.•°
Rengoku, Giyuu, Shinobu, Sanemi
Tw: Swearing because Sanemi is Sanemi
____________________________________________
I'm definitely gonna binge write this series after watching the movie, I literally cant stop thinking about it--
Send in as much requests as you want!! :))
I do fluff, different AU's, angst and NSFW(we'll see).
Keep in mind, I havent read the manga. I'm caught up to the train Arc and that's it, so try not to spoil anything by requesting characters that havent appeared yet lol
« `` •"𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞~"• ´´ »
☼︎ ☀︎︎ʀᴇɴɢᴏᴋᴜ ᴋʏᴏᴜᴊᴜʀᴏᴜ☀︎︎ ☼︎
Holding hands is sort of a need for him-
He's huge with PDA and holding your small hand within his reassures him quite a bit. He never needs to ask to hold your hand, he just grips it whenever and wherever.
I feel like he'll sense when your nervous and be really perceptive, so he'd hold your hand to ground you in a way
It's highly effectve.
"Delicious!" Your energetic boyfriend chirped, eating his takoyaki with fervour and a bright smile.
You ate your own food from across him, shaking your head a little with a slight smile slanting onto your lips.
It's definitely been a long day, so winding down and eating with your amazing boyfriend is definitely a preferable way to end it.
He sort of sensed your stress as you came back from training, sweat sleek across your forehead. And thus, he ran a bath for you and then took you out for dinner to take your mind off of whatever was bothering you.
He's always had a keen intuition and was brilliant at reading emotions on others. It was a weird super power at this point. But he noticed how relaxed you were now that you were with him, it melted his heart.
His eyes flickered over your expression, his eyes soft with adoration and affection." This is certainly calming after a long day!" He exclaimed happily.
At his jolly aura, you nodded in agreement," Honestly... It's like you have some weird superpower to make me forget about whatever was annoying me. Kinda freaky." You shivered.
Letting out a hearty laugh, the man reached out, interlacing his long fingers with yours suddenly. The warmth of his skin sending goosebumps over your arms.
"I just know you too well! Nothing wrong or freaky about that!" His grin was filled with light.
Your fingers tightened around his, his warm skin seemed to be heating up your own body as well. Thank God, you were beginning to get cold anyways.
"Have I ever told you about how cute your hands are!" It was more of a statement than a question, pulling his hand and your hand closer to him so he could get a better glimpse at your soft hands." So tiny... So soft. It's like I'm being touched by an angel!"
"Geez, you're cheesy."
"You love it~!"
"... Fair point."
•«☔︎ 𝙜𝙞𝙮𝙪𝙪 𝙩𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙤𝙠𝙖 ☔︎»•
Bro I'm sorry, but I dont think he holds your hand much-
I feel like he thinks he doesnt need to show how much he loves you through actions, more so through blunt words.
But he will get the sudden urge to hold your hand every once in a while, so be prepared because he could get the jump on you at any point.
Doesnt like PDA that much, it makes him slightly uncomfortable because it's in public but I feel like he would get used to it later in your relationship.
Ocean-blue eyes stared at you hesitantly as you continued to speak about the new breathing technique you had learned.
Both you and Giyuu were walking peacefully through the garden you had grown over the years, the plants varying in different colours and sizes. They reminded him of you.
Your peaceful personality cued him to remember the petals of the flowers blowing gently in the breeze. Not to mention you smell very distinctly and sweet just like the flowers as well.
But as he walked with you in this haven, he felt pretty agitated and frustated. He hid it well with his usual deapan expressions, but he could feel the pit of the emotions growing bigger.
His hand twitched suddenly when the back of yours brushed against his, his cheeks tinting pink at the abrupt contact.
Gulping, he looked straight ahead with sharp eyes and a furrowed brow.
The atmosphere shifted.
And when you had stopped talking, he knew that you had noticed the harsh shift as well.
"Giyuu?... Are you feeling okay? You look like you're burning up." You questioned out of concern, a worried expression upon your face.
Shaking his head briefly, the ravenette continued to walk with his head staring straight ahead," I feel optimal. Why do you ask?" He was so obviously trying to change the subject.
You frowned a little at the stiff response and opened your mouth to respond but your boyfriend had beaten you to it.
"Let me h-... Hold your... Hand... Please." He uttered, looking down with red cheeks, an embarrassed scowl squirmed on his lips.
You were silent for a long while, making him wait nervously for your answer. What he wasn't expecting was the cute snort of laughter coming from you and grabbing his hand tightly within your own, your other hand wrapping around his forearm like it was a substitute teddy bear.
His cheeks heated up tenfold and he had to look away before you noticed.
"You're such a cutie. You don't need to ask to hold my hand you know?" You teased lightly, nudging him playfully by bumping your hip against his.
"I-it's embarrassing." He retorted.
"Whatever, cutie."
"No."
"Yes."
"Stop it."
꧁ꕥ 𝑲𝒐𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒖 𝑺𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒐𝒃𝒖 ꕥ꧂
She would sooo tease you for wanting to hold her hand-
Like, she would hold it obvi, but she'd tease you about it for a good 5 minutes before finally giving up lol
Flustering you is one of her favourite pastimes, it was what your relationship was built on top of in the first place. Teasing eachother was always a thing you guys did.
But Kocho takes teasing to a MAXIMUM.
It's like you guys are challenging eachother to a tease off and she just refuses to loose. She'd rather die.
Dramatic but true
What a fucking queen-
"Ara, ara~ what was that? You want to hold my hand?" The raven haired woman pressed her hand against her lips, raising a suggestive eyebrow at you." Oh~ How scandalous! You're saying we should do pre-martial hand holding? why, that's practically a crime!"
You deadpanned at your girlfriend's words," Holding your hand is a crime?..."
"Mmhm!"
"But we literally made-out yester-"
She smiled at you passive-aggressively," I'm afraid we can't hold hands until we're married! Too bad!" She sighed, pretending to seem devastated ," How could you suggest we do such a lewd thing? In public, no less! You're quite the little scoundrel, hmm?~"
Your deadpan only deepened," Well then... I guess I'll just have to marry you then, hm? So I can hold your hand for the rest of my life." You chimed out, a slight twinkle in your eye. At the sight of Kocho's cheeks tinting a bright red, you smirked in triumph." Oya~? What's that I see? Is that blush?" You poked her warm cheek affectionately," I think it iiiis~!"
Biting her lip, Kocho scoffed and rolled her eyes," Just because you won doesn't mean you-... Shut up." She huffed out, losing her composure.
" Aha! So I won." You grinned out," I think I deserve a prize for winning for like... the first time." You said that last part quickly.
" You're not getting a kiss, if that's what you're referring to!" She smiled up at you passive aggressively.
Now the win didn't even feel like a win.
I guess, Kocho will always win in the end.
You pouted at her, eyebrows furrowed," You're so petty...." You groaned out, before a cheeky grin crossed over your lips," How about letting me hold your hand instead?"
Kocho stared at your grin with an unimpressed look, before her eyes softened and a gentle smile spread onto her perfect lips." Wipe that cheeky grin off of your face and I might consider it."
A bright smile instantly spread onto your lips and you held out your hand expectantly for her to take it. Her radiant smile only widened and her hand settled into yours, her warm fingers closing over your own as if she was keeping them safe in her hold.
" Now you have to marry me." She stated simply," I want to hold your hand in mine for the rest of my life as well."
᯾༄𖦹.𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕘𝕦𝕫𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕤𝕒𝕟𝕖𝕞𝕚 .𖦹༄᯾
BRUUUUH THIS FUCKING MAN-
Ok, so hear me out lol-
I have read up on his character a tiny bit and bro he's such a fucking SOFTY like-
If you were to ask him to hold your hand he'd highkey have to process what you said for like a minute or two before finally agreeing to it lol
He has such a tough-guy exterior when on the inside he's actually really caring to those who are important to him.
Definitely one of those characters who seem like pricks but they like something cute like cats or something-
"Uhm... Sanemi?" You spoke up suddenly, interrupting the peaceful silence.
Your boyfriend broke out of his daze of appreciating your beauty and hummed to let you know that he was listening, picking up some of his uneaten rice with his chopsticks.
"Can... Can I h-hold your hand?"
He choked on the rice he was eating, coughing into his fist and thumping his other hand against his chest to try and get the rice that shot down the back of his throat to go down.
You went to get out of your chair to help him, concern etched onto your face, but he held a hand up to stop you. Instead, you simply passed your water to him, as of which he chugged greatfully.
When he had finally gained his composure, he held out a slightly trembling hand, his cheeks tinted red as he let out a gruff," yeah... Of course you can, idiot. You don't have to ask..."
Adoration bloomed in your chest at his words and you grabbed his outstretched hand, instantly interlocking your fingers with his. Absentmindedly, you ran your thumb up and down his hand comfortingly as you smiled like an idiot to yourself.
Ba-dump.
Sanemi's heart thumped in his chest at the look of love on your face, feeling his whole body heating up. The wind pillar was known for being ruthless, intimidating and quite frankly... A bit of an asshole.
But around you? He's a completely different person.
Between you and his little brother, he's always going to have a huge soft spot for you both.
So he'll always treat you well.
Squeezing your hand lovingly, he let a slight smirk curl onto his lips," You look like a dumbass smiling like that.... You must really like me, huh?" He tried to tease.
"I don't like you."
Arrows shot through his heart, his smirk dropping in an instant," Oi-!"
You giggled at his response," I love you."
The frown on his lips wobbled a little, threatening to break out into an idiotic smile. Clearing his throat, he looked away from you and pressed the back of his unoccupied hand against his mouth to hide the smile that threatened to appear.
"Oh..." He could only respond with," y-yeah... Same here."
"You're so socially inept."
"I'm damn not!!" He grumbled, eyebrows furrowing," I fucking love you too!! Is that better?"
You grinned childishly, bringing his hand up to your mouth and placing a light kiss to it," much better."
It's safe to say that this was the day he vowed to marry you.
#kny x reader#kny fanfic#kimetsu no yaiba#Kimetsu no yaiba x reader#demon slayer x reader#rengoku x reader#rengoku kyojuro x reader#rengoku kyōjurō#rengoku kyoujurou#giyuu tomioka#giyuu tomioka x reader#giyuu x y/n#tomioka x reader#kyoujurou x reader#Kocho x reader#shinobu kocho x reader#shinobu kochō#shinobu kouchou#shinobu x reader#kimetsu no yaiba sanemi#sanemi x reader#shinaguzawa sanemi#shinaguzawa sanemi x reader#shinaguzawa x reader#demon slayer#demon slayer rengoku
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hi!! i rly liked your first writing it was so cute and you described jisung so well too! can i request a friends to lovers with han? kinda slow burn like they're really good friends but jisung gets jealous of her close friend and reader secretly likes him too but she doesnt wanna ruin the things between them so... one day they get into a fight and they end up making out😳 bc shes like "wtf we're friends" smut is ok but just a make out would be fine too the details r up to u💗
why yes you can! Thank you for requesting hehe you are my first ask ever ♡ I hope that you like it, here’s some best friend ‘sungie for ya :)
all yours | reader x jisung |
Paring: self-insert, female reader x han jisung
Genre: fluff ‘n a lil bit of smut & angst
Tags: student!reader, bestfriend!jisung, lab partner!felix (haha), friends to lovers, mutual pining, best friend au, college au, jealousy, slow-ish burn, mentions of exams, some yelling, reader is secretly whipped for jisung (and jisung for the reader), explicit language, marking, that good good makin’ out
Word count: 2.4k
��Hey!”
The little ball of paper that you had crinkled up bounced off Jisung’s arm with a soft pat.
“What happened to studying together? You said that you were gonna quiz me.”
Jisung’s eyes popped up from his phone screen looking a little bewildered. “Sorry, I just...got a little distracted.
“Distracted? Looking at what?”
“Oh, nothing.” He placed his phone down, clicking it off.
“Is “nothing” code for some girl’s Instagram?” You dished him out a teasing smirk. “I think you forget that I know you better than you know yourself sometimes.”
Jisung shuffled the papers in front of him pretending like he had something to do. “Psh. I was not.”
“--Does she go to school here?”
“I told you, I said no.” He furrowed his brow trying to look as serious as possible, but that was nearly impossible for someone as naturally adorable as him. “Why are you drilling me? Aren’t you supposed to be doing some work right now?”
“~So are you~” You teasingly sang back to him, giving him a kick under the table just for good measure.
Jisung threw your balled up paper ball back to you. “Let’s just get back to what we were doing so we can leave. I don’t wanna end up like him.”
He nodded over to the end of your table where a student had fallen asleep mid-chapter. His nose twitched and he snorted a little bit. You knew exactly what Jisung meant, you didn’t want to be at the library at 11pm on a Tuesday either; it was your better judgement that told you.
“Can we get food after this?” Jisung asked after approximately five minutes of “working.”
“Sounds good to me.” You quipped, barely allowing your eyes to leave your computer screen. You found that you always had to try you best to let him not distract you. He was really good at that.
You slid a stack of index cards in front of him. “Ask me these? I’m having a hard time getting the Latin names down...if you’re not busy?”
“Nope!” He piped, and shoved his notebook away.
“Okay!” He said with determination and a little bounce. He fixed his oversized hoodie before starting, looking adorably lost in the fabric.
He asked you the first question, but it barely met your ears. There you were, getting distracted by him again.
screw you Han Jisung, you thought to yourself.
☆。*。☆。
“I just don’t understand how you make sense of all that crap, I could never be a science major like you are.”
“--And I could never understand production like you do.”
“And this is why we work.” Jisung grinned with smiling eyes while he opened the library door for you. “I’m starving, I can’t stop thinking about--”
“--Y/n??” A voice called from behind the two of you.
The two of you whipped your heads back to see a loveable looking blonde and freckled boy bounding to catch up with you. It was Felix, your lab partner from zoology. The two of you were nothing more than classroom friends, but his friendly kindness was always something that brightened up your terrible 9 am lab.
“Felix!” You beamed, holding the door so it wouldn’t close on him. “Are you here studying for the exam as well?”
“Oh yeah, I just...my brain couldn’t take it any more,” He sarcastically mimed his head pains, “I just need to get some sleep now.”
“I just don’t get how they expect us to know all of those phyla like its nothing.”
“I know right?’ He chuckled.
Next to you, Jisung silently poked at the elevator button to go down.
“Is it alright if I head down with you guys?”
“Of course!” You motioned him in.
Once the doors had closed, the three of you found a different corner of the small box to plant yourselves in.
“shit-sorry, Felix, I didn’t introduce you, this is Jisung.”
“Hi!” Felix shone, and Jisung gave him a curt nod back.
Felix waved to two of you goodbye, leaving you in the nighttime snow. You noticed that as Felix walked away he had a little bounce to his step; and you couldn’t help but crack a little smile.
“Our usual?” Jisung asked you with a little edge to his voice.
You linked your arm around his, letting out a little shrill sound when the fabric of your two coat sleeves met. “Sounds good to me!” You nuzzled up into him while both of your bodies’ heat intermingled.
The two of you walked on under the streetlights which illuminated the falling flakes in streams of light. You never loosened your grip, as had become your habit lately when the two of you walked around. Jisung never seemed to mind; the two of you had been mistaken for a couple more than enough times thanks to it. When it did happen, it didn’t phase you at all. Being close to Jisung was like second nature to you.
The whole walk over Jisung never uttered a word, which was uncharacteristic of his usual boisterous self.
“Is everything okay?”
He sniffled, “Yeah, I think I just got kinda tired out of nowhere.”
“Ah.” You mouthed, and squeezed his arm a little harder.
After a moment’s silence, he somberly announced, “If you’re in the same class as him, maybe you should study with him.”
“Huh.” You tsked. “Yeah, I mean I never thought about that before...I guess that could do me some good.”
You looked slightly up to him: a product of him being slightly taller than you. His brown eyes remained stoic, and you couldn’t figure out why. You hated it when he wouldn’t tell you what was wrong, but he was also stubborn at letting up.
“But thank you for helping me tonight! You know that I reeealy appreciate it.” You turned your tone as cutesy as you could--Jisung hated it, but you knew that it could bring a smile to his face.
His gaze softened a bit. “Anytime. You’d do the same for me.”
☆。*。☆。
Jisung rested his head on your shoulder on the bus ride home with his phone weakly held in his hand. One more bump in the road and you knew that it would go flying so you carefully took it into your own lap where it would be safe. You wouldn’t dare moving an inch because you had a feeling that he had closed his eyes. Time had slipped past 1am, and you had to keep fighting yawns yourself. The bus driver had been blasting the heat, so it wasn’t hard at all for you to feel cozy.
You glanced down at his open hand in his lap. It looked exactly like he was beckoning for you to scoop it up in your own. You wondered what what happen if you did. What would he think of it? Would he think anything of it? You had held hands before, but every time you had it had been under purely platonic pretenses. If you just grabbed it now, what would the pretenses be then? The two of you cozied up on a bus: that was something that couples did.
You shut your eyes closed tightly and tried your best to banish all the thoughts clouding your head.
Jisung’s hand twitched, looking even more inviting.
screw you Han Jisung.
☆。*。☆。
[7:14pm]
jisung: you want to come over? Changbin is cooking and i don’t wanna eat whatever he’s making alone
[7:31pm]
me: sorry, I’m studying with Felix at the library, I think that we are gonna be here late. It’s all the Latin, I’m drowning in the Latin, Sung.
I’m sorry.
see you Friday once I’m out of this hell?
[7:34pm]
jisung: see you friday.
☆。*。☆。
You pounded on the door to Jisung’s apartment with your phone in hand, the white screen showing you the number that you had worked so hard for.
“Open the door!” You called giddily. “Jisung! I know that you’re in here, we need to celebrate! ~I can treat youuu~”
Just as you were about to knock again, the door swung open, revealing a wet haired Jisung in his grey sweats and tee. His brown strands of hair were scattered around his head while he rubbed at them with a towel.
“Shit! Can’t I shower?” He jested.
It took all your will power not to ogle him more. He looked devastatingly handsome, but you swallowed down how utterly flustered he had made you.
You cleared your throat, “Uh...sorry...” then remembered your phone in your hand. “I got a 96! Can you believe it! I’m even surprised too, when I was taking the test I just got so nervous...”
“All that studying paid off huh?” He cockily rose an eyebrow. “You can go ahead and thank me now, without my help...” He shrugged with a grin.
You invited yourself in and threw your bag down at the door like you usually did.
“Thank youuu” You sung. “Oh! And studying with Felix really paid off too.” You took off your shoes, thinking of how nice it had been to finally study with someone who knew your class topics. Not that Jisung wasn’t helpful, but you and Felix were on the same page. “He knew it all way more than I did, so he was super helpful. I forgot to text him--”
Jisung closed the door behind you with a slam that made you jump. He moved away from you, not meeting your eyes. The air around the two of you suddenly became thick with something that did not feel as excited as you just were.
“...do you wanna maybe watch a movie?” You moved closer. “Or we could get some deliv--”
“--Why even bother coming over here?” Jisung suddenly huffed.
“What?”
Jisung’s words flew out of his mouth sharply, “If he was so helpful? What are you doing here, huh?”
“Jisung, I don’t understand...” Your heartbeat quickened in your chest and you felt anxiety swell there as well. Jisung never spoke to you like this. He never sounded like this.
He growled out a little sound in frustration. “I-I just...can’t believe you--”
“--Me? Jisung, what did I do?” You threw your arms up, genuinely confused.
He ran his fingertips over his temples and let out a deep exhale. “Y/n, don’t pretend like you don’t know what you’re doing.”
Your temper started to become seething and you felt your ears get hot. “Tell me Jisung. Tell me what I did. And while you’re at it, what has been up with you these past few days? Being short with me, and distant, yeah-I’ve noticed...what are you doing??”
Jisung heaved breaths in and out of his chest, then ran a hand through his hair. He still couldn’t meet your eyes.
For a moment, a flash of panic surged in your head, making your heart ache with an unexpected pain. You truly didn’t know what he had meant, and if you had made a mistake, you knew it could mean loosing him. God, that was the last thing in the world you wanted. It always was.
“If I did something wrong tell me because clearly I don’t know!!” You yelled back at him, straining your throat.
He walked up to you, then grabbed your shoulders with a firm grip. Finally, you saw his eyes, brown and soft, holding a type of pain that you hadn’t seen in him before.
screw you, Han Jisung.
“Jisung, I--”
You were shoved by the shoulders in milliseconds to the door behind you, the impact nearly knocking the wind out of you. You gasped in your surprise, but your mouth was immediately shut by Jisung ramming his lips into yours. His hands needily took your face into his palms with his mouth blazing with hunger for you.
It took you a moment to realize what had just happened and steady yourself after being so startled. His lips were so soft and warm, your brain had a hard time recognizing that he was really doing this. His haste made no indication of stopping so you let yourself do what you had wanted to do for years: you kissed him back with everything that you had.
As soon as you did so, he let out little desperate moans between your lips in response. You let your arms wrap around his back and he fell into them just right. Naturally you took one of your hands to the back of his head and tangled up your fingers in his hair. God, it all felt so good. Jisung snaked his arms around your waist and pulled you into him with force, crashing your hips together.
The two of you clumsily made your way to the couch where he threw you down and crawled over top of you just as fast. He moved to your neck then traversed around your skin, sending shivers all through your body. Your hands eagerly found his back where you dug into him, wanting to be impossibly close. To your side, he carefully took your hand in his, weaving all of your fingers together.
Jisung pressed down into you and began to suck at your neck without holding himself back. It was such an intense feeling that couldn’t help but moan out something you didn’t know you could. You felt his mouth turn into a grin on your skin while he continued. It stung a little when he removed his lips, but he gently kissed each mark as if he was soothing it once he was done. He stopped to admire the little array of purple bruises he had made.
“I want you all to myself.” Jisung’s voice was hoarse, but still honey-covered in desire.
“What are we doing?” You asked him in breathless disbelief.
“I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” He whispered, and appeared to calm his breaths. “I don’t care.”
"You don’t?”
“Why should I?” He cocked his head and used his free hand to caress your face.
“--That this could change things between us?”
“You don’t want it too?” He looked a little confused.
You felt a warmth rush to your cheeks. “--No! I do, I do...trust me.”
“Then can I kiss you some more?” Jisung grinned down at you as loving as he always had, but this time it meant something slightly different.
“...please.”
He lowered back onto you, connecting your lips once more. Jisung’s tongue languidly smoothed onto yours and you already felt intoxicated by the feeling. You tightened your fingers around his.
I’ve always been yours.
#skz smut#stray kids smut#stray kids#jisung x reader#jisung x y/n#han smut#han jisung smut#stray kids imagine#stray kids drabble#kpop smut#kpop imagine#kpop drabble#best friend jisung#college au#friends to lovers#my first ask post hehe#this drabble made me want to make out with han jisung so terribly what a world#requested#stray kids fluff#stray kids angst
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queer and feelin longing emotions and thinkin bout shortcake and the harleyyyhhh: when she first sees you shes like 👁👄👁 speechless, How could you possibly get hotter??? ure driving into frankie's driveway because you all are carpooling to meet the guys for a night out. she meets u in a daze at the end of the drive while youre taking the keys out of the ignition.
"i didnt know you owned a motercycle" she says, her face growing warm while u kick out the kickstand.
"oh um, yeah! i do!" you say with a nervous chuckle; your heart always races when youre around shortcake, but you've never seen her look at you Quite like this.
"why do i never see you riding it?" she asks, glancing down every so often as you absent mindedly start fidgeting, rubbing ur hands against the seat and the handle bars.
"ummm, i really only ride it when i need to think on some stuff or when i need to calm down," you explain. "its also really impractical for days i have a certain way i want my hair to look" u chuckle as u unclick the buckle to your helmet and hope, as youre taking it off, that your helmet hair isnt unseemly today.
"is everything okay? have you been on edge lately?" she asks, her brow furrowed. you smile at her but it doesnt quite meet your eyes.
"a little, but i'm working through it" you respond, you grasp the handle bars a little harder, u hadnt meant to let That slip.
shortcake seems unsure but after a moment she reaches out to gently lay her hand atop yours and u loosen ur grasp. "is there anything i can do to help?" she asks softly, kindly. you feel so Seen, so Loved; shes only touching your hand but you can feel the warmth of it through your entire body. "i'll uhhhh i'll let you know?" you leave it open ended, because you dont Think its possible for her to help you with your growing feelings....But you Never Know. the answer seems to appease her, for now at least.
youre together in this moment quietly, contently, a single innocent touch and your gaze at one another are all that connects one another to the present. you hear the front door of the house open and shut, you both suddenly move your hands away; the self depricating thoughts, quickening heart rates, and warm faces are all that you share now.
"hey, nice to see you bringin the ol girl out for a change" frankie says while walking towards the two of you. he raises an eyebrow at you, "you good?"
you nod, "i will be." he nods back, knowing. that sometimes you arent ready to talk about what thoughts ail you.
"oh hey your hair is a little..." he starts, moving his hand up to you head before stopping, "can i uhhh-" "oh yeah sure, thanks" you say, quickly. as frankie messes with your hair, you feel your stomach do flips and shortcake admires how sweet you look together.
he steps back admiring you- his amazing skills as a hair stylist, "better than ever" he says with a grin.
"oh wait hold on, you missed something can i just real quick" shortcake says, searching for consent. you nod you head at her and now she hands taking back stray pieces or smoothing out others. you shiver slightly as she tucks your hair behind your ear? you arent sure she actually moved anything that time. frankie is watching the two of you intently; he loves the careful way she tends to you and the way your eyes flutter shut every so often.
she moves back, and says "there, now we're good" with a soft smile. frankie smiles at her and gives her a quick peck on the cheek, "i love your attention to detail," he says, adoration in his eyes as she giggles.
"thanks," you whisper. you dont want to ruin this moment with your feelings butting in; they are so happy together, you wish so desperately you could make Them that happy.
frankie pats his pockets until he finds and fishes out his keys, "i'll go start the car, you can set your helmet inside the garage if you want?" he offers. "that'd be great thank you," you say, unstraddling the bike and the couple, unbeknownst to the other, watch a tad too intently as you do.
shortcale shakes herself out of slightly inappropriate gaze and decided to walk you up to a garage, "i've never ridden a motercycle before, it seems like fun" she says, just to fill the silence.
you're quiet, comtemplating for a moment. "would you like to?"
she laughs out a breath "oh i would love too. its a shame you dont have a second helmet, we could ride together"
you glance at her and grin a little before turning around to call out, "hey frankie? you still got that helmet i leant u?"
(idk why im writing i Got homework to do and like i keep thinking tumblr is gonna cut me off with a word count or a character limit but No they just let me Keep Going for like AN HOUR, anyways 👄👁👄
Anon I offer you my hand in marriage the dowry is easy: just keep sending me asks (also go do your homework babes!!)
I absolutely LOVE THIS AAAAA
Also the thought of shortcake going for a ride with you hhh. Her arms are tight around your waist and the engine is rumbling in her ears as shes pressed against your back, it makes you grip the handlebars tighter and at a stoplight you have to take a deep breath to calm yourself. She's never ridden a motorcycle before but in the moment, cruising down the road with her arms around you, she feels safe and secure and wants it to last forever.
Frankie walks outside just as you pull up the driveway.
"How was it?"
Shortcake tugs the helmet off with a giggle and he takes in her wild hair. "So much fun! I never knew it'd be so relaxing."
She never knew how nice it felt to have you in her arms.
Frankie ignores the way his heart hammers wildly in his chest by seeing the way shortcake, his girlfriend, stares as you lean on the handlebars of your bike. He sees her flushed face and hears the hitch in her breathe when she looks at you.
He tells himself it's from the weather. It has to be. Theres no way she feels the same way for you as he does. That's just his own mind taunting him with a fantasy.
That's just him being selfish.
"I should probably head out." Your voice breaks them both out of their own head. Both members of the couple you dreamed of each night wearing a face like a kicked puppy.
"Are you sure? You can stay for dinner if you want-"
"We can order takeout and-"
You hold your hands up in an apologetic gesture. "As fun as its be to watch you guys argue over pizza toppings again, I'll have to pass. I've got an early shift tomorrow. I should get home before it's late so I can get some sleep."
The hand that frankie held on his girlfriend's waist tightened as you backed out of the driveway and into the street with a final wave.
He knew you didn't work tomorrow
"Is she gonna be alright?" Shortcake's voice was tiny, barely heard over the roar of your engine as you drove off.
Frankie knew you were going to spend the whole night driving without a destination.
"Yeah." He pressed a comforting kiss to her temple. "She's alright, just needs to clear her head. We all get like that."
He knew at somepoint in the night you'd stop at that one 24-hour dinner you loved, he would probably stay up and meet you there. If you didnt want to talk about what was bothering you that'd be fine. He would simply order himself a burger as the two of you spoke about whatever nonsense came to mind at 3am before leaving, usually with you following him home and crashing on his couch.
You hadn't done that in a long time. He wonders why.
"I worry about her."
Ah. Right. That's why.
Shortcake leaned her head on his shoulder and he felt a steady thrum in his chest.
"Me too."
Maube he would take her with him tonight. She'd like the fries.
#ask#asks#babe ur KILLING ME WKTH THESE I LOVE THEM#anyways i wejt slightly angsty with it but i cannot compare to your skill#also i hipe you get that homework done so you can relax!!!#you deserve to chill!!#shortcake tag
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Pt.3
Seyoon was unpacking all the late night snacks he had gotten onto a blanket at a secluded rooftop. Hearing footsteps he looked up to see Guerin, who looked different than usual. She didn't appear to be wearing any makeup, had her normal stud earrings but had a cute black mask with a white sharp toothy grin. She was dressed in joggers and a sweatshirt with the hood up. He cocked his head at her as she approached.
"I know, I look like shit. But it was late and I'd already gotten ready for bed. You can't expect me to spruce up after that." Guerin guessed at his expression.
"You look fine. Cozy. It's just different. Also you're late." He shrugged and patted the blanket next to him, sitting as he leaned against the wall behind him.
"I got lost..." she grumbled, "I've never been great with directions." She sat down in the spot he indicated, looking over the spread he had brought, "Good grief I thought you just wanted tteokbokki."
Seyoon smiled automatically, "You said you hadn't eaten, and I know how much you like food so I thought I should get some options." Guerin leaned her head in his direction and offered a wry smile under her mask, unable to argue with his logic. "Besides, I got this for us too." He pulled out an additional bag, from which he drew two paper cups, a bottle of soju and two cans of beer.
Guerin raised her eyebrows and sat up straight, "Oh we're drinking too?"
"We have to. It goes well with tteokbokki, fried chicken and jajangmyeon." He shrugged nonchalantly as he began opening everything up and handing Guerin some chopsticks. "Although it's blueberry soju. I thought you might like that."
"How did you figure that?" She asked, sneaking a piece of tteokbokki and pulling her mask to her chin to eat it.
"Well you said before you liked Grapefruit and Plum but I couldnt find it, so I thought blueberry was the next best option." Seyoon shrugged, separating the cups and pouring soju into them, handing one to Guerin and offering his as cheers.
She laughed in response and took her shot, "Honestly I dont know how that train of thought lines up but you aren't wrong." She watched as Seyoon refilled the cups and couldn't keep the grin from her face, "You really went all out for this, it's awesome. Thank you."
He shrugged again, looking up at her and their eyes met briefly before both looked away to select food options, "Food makes things better." He said simply.
"Cheers to that." They both took another shot and then ate in silence for a while.
"So... how are you?" Seyoon asked awkwardly, unsure of how to broach the subject.
"I'm fine, all things considered." Guerin said almost mechanically, "I keep telling people that."
"Okay... but how are you really?" Seyoon asked again, leaning back to look at Guerin. She sighed and set her chopsticks down and didn't speak for a moment.
"Well. What do you know happened?" She asked finally.
"I know you were attacked by that crazy lady. I know you were arrested but you were cleared because of video evidence. I know that she is being charged by the company. But I also know you haven't been with HEET lately." He trailed off.
Guerin reached over for one of the beers. Seyoon cracked it open and put it in her hand, grabbing his as well while she took a sip, leaned back against the wall and looked up at the sky.
"Yeah. We were worried something might happen again. So part of our plan included recording any more altercations that might occur. Self defense laws are tricky and it's usually one person's word against another. Plus as a foreigner, and a big one, we knew some witnesses might not provide unbiased information." She paused and took another sip, "The boys were so brave, they did exactly as they were supposed to. That woman had some gross stuff in that present too. Police said it was unwashed underwear, a vial of blood, another of spit..." she scrunched her nose, "stuff like that."
"Sounds like you guys have the law on your side." Seyoon said, waiting for more information.
Another sip and pause before she spoke, "Yeah, we do. We're able to press charges. The company is suing her. She might see jail time. They even made me go to the hospital to make sure they had a medical report for the court."
"Wait medical report?" Seyoon looked over at her, surprised, "What happened?" Now that she had pulled down her mask and he was looking closely he saw the cut and slight bruising at the corner of her mouth as she smiled dryly and tapped her cheek.
"I let her hit me. I figured if she looked unharmed and I was injured it would go better for us too."
"You're crazy." He sounded almost admiring as he leaned in closer, "Let me see that, does it hurt?"
"It's fine, I've been hit in the face many times, and she's probably the smallest adult that's ever taken a swing at me. It doesnt hurt at all. OW WHY?" She flinched and cried out as he poked the bruising.
His eyes widened and he let out a snort of laughter, "Doesn't hurt at all?"
"You little shit." She laughed and smacked his hand away from her face, "Of course it'll hurt if you press a bruise."
He giggled again, "Sorry. It does look like it hurts a lot. You should maybe stop letting people hit you in the face."
She laughed, "Well it hasn't always been a choice, this one was though."
"So... there's more right?" He asked after their laughter had subsided.
Guerin avoided his eyes by taking a longer drink from her beer, "Yeah. There's been some blowback. Some false stories have gotten out and theres some people that claim I'm making a bad name for HEET or that I was the one who started it, that I instigated a fight or was being rude to a fan. There's quite a lot that demanded I be removed as manager, actually."
"So they caved?" Seyoon asked disbelievingly.
"Well. Kind of?" Guerin sighed, "I've been temporarily removed. Right now with the case going and the false information it's actually less safe for HEET to be around me in case someone tries to target me. So until things are officially able to be released..." she stopped talking abruptly blinking rapidly, trying to hide it with another long gulp of beer. "It's not like I've been fired. I'm grateful for that. Another company would probably have written me off as more trouble than I'm worth. They have me doing other work right now but... I liked my job. I loved my boys, and looking after them." She couldnt hide the tears running down her face now, and didn't bother to try.
Seyoon floundered, watching her face then looking around before seeing napkins and hurriedly handing them to her. She smiled and thanked him, dabbing her cheeks half heartedly before giving up and chugging the rest of her beer through her tears. With an unconvincing smile she looked at Seyoon, "So that's what I mean when I say all things considered. I'm fine."
He didn't saying anything right away, pulling his long shirt sleeve over his hand, he leaned over and dabbed at her face to dry it. She started to pull away, shocked, but he reached out with his other hand and held her in place. "Hold still." She didn't fight back, he was so close and so handsome she couldn't help but feel somewhat transfixed, despite her stomache dropping and heart pounding, all she could do was freeze until he let her go. He picked up his chopsticks, selected a large piece of fried chicken and put it to her mouth, which she accepted without complaint.
"It's okay to be sad when bad things happen. You don't have to lie to everyone." He paused and added quietly as though he wasn't sure he should be saying it, "You don't have to lie to me."
Guerin choked, "Oh my god." She swallowed as soon as she could and laughed, "Are you using lines on me to seem cool? Is this a drama?" She laughed again.
"Yah." He protested, "I was just trying to be supportive."
Guerin laughed again then fed him some tteokbokki, "You're as adorable as a cicada." She said and pinched his cheek.
"I am so much more handsome than some bug." He protested around the food in his mouth.
"Of course you are." She put a shot of soju in his hand, cheersed and downed hers. He followed shortly.
"Thanks though." She glanced at him, "It means a lot."
He playfully shoved her and stole her chopsticks, which started a whole new bickering fit.
Charlie had been working up the nerve all morning to talk to her boss. It was a privilege to be allowed to be so hands on with animals and she didn't want her boss to think she was taking advantage... but it was such a cool opportunity. She had to at least try.
"Byun Minsoo-ssi." She lead off tentatively. The lead vet looked up from her paperwork. Perhaps she looked stern simply from Charlie's point of view but it was just as believable that she was no-nonsense in everyday life as well.
"Yes? Charlie-ssi?"
"I have a friend who is a manager for an idol group, she is friends with a group called A.C.E and I wondered if they could come behind the scenes to meet some of our animals?" Charlie ventured cautiously.
Minsoo paused for a moment before speaking "A.C.E? Your friend knows A.C.E? And they want to come here?" Her attempt to play it cool was poorly hidden and gave Charlie confidence.
"Yes! I'd like to invite my friend Guerin and A.C.E to come and see what we have. I think it would be an excellent opportunity to promote the zoo and educate on the importance of conservation!"
The normally serious Minsoo beamed at Charlie, "That's an excellent idea. Let's get in contact and organize something."
Charlie did a mental fist pump and hustled off to message her friends.
Deciding to keep the visit informal allowed the planning process to go more quickly. Approval from the higher ups and organizing with Beat Interactive took a few days. Guerin has been allowed to come as a personal guest for Charlie and A.C.E who requested she tag along. Guerin, never passing up a chance to visit the zoo, happily accepted. Charlie hoped it could provide her friend with a genuine mood boost. Guerin tended to internalize her negative emotions but Charlie could tell she wasn't her usual self.
"We'll do formal filming in the behind the scenes areas, but then we'll allow you to do your own self cam work throughout the areas of the zoo the public has regular access to." Minseok explained as A.C.E got last second touch ups.
"What animals are we seeing today?" Asked Chan excitedly. They were in the vet and quarantine areas so it was unpredictable what had been planned for them.
"It's a surprise." Charlie said, the most excited A.C.E had ever seen her.
Byun Minsoo would be taking the lead in speaking for the cameras but suggested Charlie stay by to help handle animals and manage the guests. Minsoo might be strict but she was fair, knowing Charlie wanted to do this with her friends she wasn't going to exclude her.
Guerin was hanging back with Minseok as preparations were made. "Noona do you know what we're gonna see?" Chan tried to wheedle from her, pouting slightly. Guerin stared pointedly away from him.
"Don't pull that cute stuff on me, I can't tell you." Of course she knew what animals Charlie was working with, she couldn't let some aegyo spoil the surprise. Chan pouted more and shook his shoulders in a small tantrum.
"Alright that's enough." Minseok stepped in before Guerin could cave, he redirected A.C.E to the main area so they could begin filming. The recording started with a tour of the facilities, showing equipment and how to accommodate all the different animals they had based on type and size. They explained the importance of training animals to participate in their own veterinary care voluntarily then showed them a video example of a mountain lion presenting for a blood draw, and a gorilla opening it's mouth for its teeth to be examined, or a macaque presenting its arm for an insulin injection. Minsoo continued to talk about the research and breeding that the zoo participated and how it was vital for conservation efforts and how it benefitted animals in the wild.
The boys were perfect guests, asking questions and reacting well. They saw a few animals in the quarantine area, new to the zoo and waiting to be introduced to their new homes. The last area they were taken to was for longer term housing for animals that couldnt be in the usual enclosures. A spot had been sectioned, layered with blankets, plushies and other toys. The boys, perplexed, were instructed to go in and sit down with Minsoo while Charlie disappeared momentarily. She returned with an inauspicious crate, facing it away from A.C.E she opened the door and sat with Minsoo, both grinning for the surprise.
Two young tiger cubs tottered they way out, mowing. The trepidation left A.C.E as they all exclaimed in amazement and adoration. Minsoo and Charlie showed A.C.E how to bottle feed them, then let them take turns.
"Their mother was a first time mom, and she wouldnt take care of them." Minsoo explained as the boys cooed sadly, "It's not unusual for that to happen with new mothers even in the wild. But since we are here we made the choice to step in and help raise them." Once the babies were fed they were left to roam and play. One clambered into Jun's lap and fell asleep, the other playing with a toy with Donghun and Byeongkwan. Jun couldn't control his face, his amazement and joy at being chosen as he got everyone's attention and pointed to the sleeping kitten. Seyoon and Chan scooted near him to pet the sleeping animal. Charlie couldn't stop herself from grinning, Guerin knew at least part of it was Jun's reaction and not just the cute tiger cubs.
Once it was time to say goodbye to the kittens, A.C.E did their formal goodbye with them and the filming for behind the scenes ended. The rest of the staff and guests got an opportunity to greet the tigers as well and once Guerin had her turn she flagged down Charlie as the babies were taken back to their enclosure. After a brief talk with Minsoo who let out a restrained laugh and nod, Charlie and Guerin went to a series of smaller tanks on the opposite side of the room, Guerin returning with her hands closed suspiciously.
"We have one more animal for you to meet." Charlie said with a chuckle. Donghun was the only one with the good sense to he suspicious.
"This is one of my favorite animals." Guerin said with a grin, uncovering her hand and showing a large male Madagascar Hissing Cockroach sitting placidly in her hand. All five boys instinctively recoiled, Chan and Jun exclaiming in surprise. A.C.E's reaction elicited chuckles from most of the staff if they werent busy being disgusted themselves.
"It's okay guys. They're harmless!" Guerin said holding it up. Donghun and Jun recovered the fastest, still looking apprehensive and surprised respectively. Chan was behind Jun, leaning around him curiously but still looking fearful. Beyongkwan, eyes wide, didnt move forward so quickly and Seyoon was the furthest away had a very subtle terror that could only be read in his eyes.
"They're really cool, they're called hissing cockroaches cause they hiss!" She gave the cockroach a light pet down it's back which caused it to take two steps forward and hiss quietly as it protested the contact. The boys jumped again. "So insects dont have lungs, they breath through small holes along their body called spiracles. These guys have evolved to force air out of those holes to make a hissing sound that they use to communicate to each other or even predators! Their mouths are too small to bite us so they're harmless!" She was so enthusiastic in the explanation it couldnt help but draw the boys curiosity. She explained how to tell males from females and how most cockroaches are pests at all and how vital they are to the environment. Eventually Donghun worked up the courage first to touch it when offered. Jun became somewhat enamored and greeted the insect before he touched it, but jumped when it hissed before laughing at his own reaction. Chan actually opted to hold it and Byeongkwan even moved forward but Seyoon stayed in the back.
"Come on Hyung!" Chan called to him, looking more closely at the cockroach.
"I'm just looking at stuff over here you guys go on without me." Seyoon said, pretending to examine equipment near him.
"It is kind of cute." Jun admitted, petting it again, still jumping slightly when it hissed.
"On a scale of Seyoon to a Cicada how cute is it?" Donghun joked causing Jun, Chan, Byeongkwan, Guerin and Charlie to laugh.
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I'm thinking both my parents are neurodivergent somehow on top their relationship not being very safe or healthy because my dad is often a psychologically abusive asshole and apologizes in indirect ways feather than owning up to shit and saying I'm sorry. I think he's probably autistic too but I'm on the fense. I see how he is and can interpret a fair amount of his behaviors as autism related. He is very ablist and doesn't see himself as having problems of any kind. I don't feel safe opening up to him about stuff because of how judgmental he is, even if he really doesnt actually mean to be rude.
On the other hand, i have gotten more open with my mom about my struggles with specific example and memories and how i believe they manifest(ed) because I'm autistic. I think she could be autisitic or adhd herself because i say I've been struggling in x way since forever and she'll say "oh, everybody struggles like that! Don't worry about it❤" which feels really invalidating until i reframe it in the context of "we're both nd women who were missed entirely as children."
Mom i have struggled since forever to make friends with people; maintain a casual conversation with children my age as a child/teenager, pour engage in small talk. - "oh that's just because your dad never did small talk with you! You were always very smart and used words the dumber kids didn't understand because you carried a dictionary around and didn't use filler words all the time."
I struggle horribly with math. I struggle with signs and applying math rules to novel problems. I switch numbers around. I have a horrible concept of time. I switch my lefts and rights. -"oh everybody struggles with math. You're really smart so just be kind to yourself (I've noticed she mixes up her left and right to but idk if she does that more than "normal"?)
Pretty sure she's highly sensitive like me. She didnt really have friends growing up like me, at least not once she got to highschool.
I can add more later i guess but one thing she does that really bothers my dad and i is her constant interrupting. One of us will start talking and she'll cut us off to bring up something unrelated. Sometimes she might apologize first or afterward but it's still annoying. Or she'll cut herself off which is still annoying. She'll be talking and then cut herself off to make abm observation of something unrelated -she especially does this while we're on the road.
I know there's alot of overlap between autism and ADD so I'm not sure. I know the whole "look a squirrel" thing is a stereotype but I'm just trying to make sense of how I've struggling since literally a child neither of my patents noticed. No school faculty fucking noticed or really cared despite all the times i reached out.
I don't remember how old i was but i was very young and crying on a couch in whatever house we used to live in thinking "i feel like these people aren't really my parents and i want to go home" which seems to be a big autism mood?
My dad thinks his mother is austitic. I was doing research on the lived experiences of autistic women and thinking I could be autistic years before he said that to one of his brothers. I recently went on vacation to visit family and i just couldn't recognize any autistic traits I any of the family members i briefly spent time with. But i know autism is genetic and im just hoping/thinking i don't recognize the autism signs in my family members because i only see them for about a week every 1-4 years and don't actually talk to them much via messaging because starting and maintaining contact (esp just electronically) is difficult - because autism
#autism#autistic#add#adhd#undiagnosed autism#undiagnosed#self identified autistic#self diagnosed autism#unwind personal junk#mental health#nov 2020
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Indie & Rio
Indie: where you at? Indie: you gotta chat at me Rio: I went down Skerries Rio: I can come back, if you want or Rio: are you okay Indie: w mckenna or are you kicking it 💸💸? Rio: No, with Buster Rio: I just had to get away, you know, give everyone air Indie: its a mood Rio: Yeah, not what I wanted or planned but you know Rio: Where'd you go? Rio: At the shower, I mean Indie: I hit my boy up Indie: felt it you kno Rio: Ah, right Rio: Don't blame you Indie: something in the water innit Rio: Don't Rio: What's he said, then Indie: you kno how hes flexing w it Indie: dont make me chat it back Rio: I can imagine how he's selling it Rio: do you believe him though? Indie: is it? you gotta ask me that Indie: thats how it be now Rio: Inds, I just want to know what I've got to put right with you so I can Rio: I don't care about him, just you Indie: you reckon imma roll with any of his shots on any day Indie: hes chief and he always been it Indie: dont fucking play me that way Indie: what you did is you left me w him Rio: I didn't know where you were Rio: and I couldn't stay Indie: not bothered Indie: where you expect him to try and be? hes not gonna still lay out at hers Rio: Exactly Rio: So I can't be there now Rio: I didn't expect any of this, I didn't think he'd do anything like this, Jesus Indie: it's chill for you w mckenna primed to jet you to skerries Indie: i dont get to leave this drum Indie: his now Rio: Go Home Rio: they'd rather have you there than with him Indie: yeah cos i can show my face Rio: Of course you can Rio: you've not done anything wrong Indie: it looks exactly like his Indie: how are they trying to see that rn Indie: how are you fit to either Rio: So does Edie Rio: and they want her home too Rio: you aren't him Indie: nah Indie: shes got your ma in her Indie: and shes blood Rio: When has that ever mattered to us? Indie: hes made it like it aint before Indie: us v you Rio: Nah Rio: he hasn't got that influence Indie: i cant be around it Indie: none of Rio: Alright but can you be around him? Rio: What are you gonna do Indie: ive got places Indie: if you get to run i get to run Rio: I told you Rio: I'll come back Indie: to what and to where bitch Indie: we aint got a yard of our own anymore Rio: Just please go home Indie: im going where i feel love Indie: still Rio: Don't do them like that Rio: that's bullshit Indie: don't come for me Indie: you aint there Indie: if you feel it so hard you take it Rio: Like I said Rio: you didn't do anything wrong Indie: and you aint Indie: whatever he spits Rio: We both know it ain't that cut and dry Indie: whats bullshit now Indie: ive been front row Indie: 👀 & 👂 Indie: you cant chat that to me Rio: Yeah, you have, and so has he Rio: not an excuse but clearly fucked with him Indie: allow it Indie: hes been trying to get on you since he dashed ryan out Indie: fucked with you since then least Indie: it aint no new dream Rio: Yeah and I've been hoeing since when Indie: dont give him no licence to slip Indie: hes known you since younger than Rio: I've always been like this Indie: what you feeding me his lines for Rio: He's not entirely full of shit Indie: dash that Indie: youre spinning me out Indie: come back when youre you Indie: not his rinsed hoe that cant relate Indie: if youre gonna buy in you shouldve just rode him Rio: Fuck off Indie: youre his mouth piece rn Indie: word by word Rio: I don't have all the answers, alright Rio: I'm sorry but that's the truth Indie: nah Indie: the truth is you reckon hes right Indie: i live in that madness Indie: that means him or you if thats how youre trying to be Indie: *cant Rio: I'm not saying his actions were Rio: He still shouldn't have Indie: what youre saying tho is dred enough Indie: you think you can come through and raise me w that outlook nah bitch Indie: i already got one ma who let him run her Rio: What do you want me to say? Rio: I'm fucked, Indie, that's all there is to it Indie: what do you want me to say Indie: gone is gone Indie: she is and you are Indie: same reason Rio: Don't be like that Rio: I'm not dead Indie: dead to me if youre gonna let him say what he is and not fight back Rio: If that's how you feel Rio: then I can't change your mind on that Indie: how are you still rolling Indie: taking this Indie: what more he gotta do Rio: It's over now, it's done Indie: its not done Indie: he wants me to live with him Indie: pass you over Indie: he wants to say that everything he did you loved it like that Rio: Well no one believes him or will listen so Indie: then what you hiding for Indie: you dont say that but do this Rio: because I don't want to be there alright Indie: why tho Rio: Same reasons you don't Indie: where you gonna be Rio: I haven't decided where I'll end up yet Rio: but I'm going back to London with Buster for a bit Indie: safe Rio: I know that's not how you really feel Rio: but that's what I've got to do Indie: you do you Indie: ill do me and that's how it is now Rio: You still have everyone else Indie: i kno i got heads Indie: im good Indie: got all my boys including my main 💘 Rio: Yeah, them too Indie: its jam Indie: got my own back above it too Rio: I know Rio: You don't have to pretend it's all alright Rio: it's fucked Indie: like it hasnt been from when Rio: exactly Rio: so stick with the fam Rio: don't make it harder on yourself, no one wants you to Indie: tell yourself Indie: i dont need you to school me rn its hols still Rio: Be serious Indie: how serious you want it Rio: Admit that you aren't alright, accept the help people want to give you Rio: and do what I say Rio: or I will come back and force you to too Indie: i cant Rio: You can Rio: I know you can Indie: i need air from this too Indie: why is that only for you Rio: Because you're only 14 Rio: you can't do this on your own Rio: you can still be out all day and all night but don't forget that that's your base and that's your people Indie: im grown enough when thats how you want it Indie: and him Rio: Because I let you come to some parties with me and didn't baby you? Rio: It isn't the same Rio: I never made you do anything that was actually inappropriate, and I didn't love it when you were getting high 24/7 to cope, I never acted like I did Rio: so don't even start Indie: dont make me now then Rio: I'm telling you Rio: I'll come home right now, yeah Indie: nah Rio: No, I'm going to Indie: be in london or our ends, be where you want Indie: not for me tho Indie: if your around me hes around you Indie: that aint how this is playing out Rio: Not if we're home Rio: he's got some sense, fucking hell Rio: that's how it's going to be, this isn't happening, we should all be under one roof Indie: dont law me Indie: i aint owned by you Indie: you said you dont wanna be there Indie: im not carrying that i fucking cant Rio: You don't just get to do what you want, you're a child, I'm barely not one Rio: this is how we got here Indie: we got here cos of him Indie: hes not running me Indie: not ever Indie: ill do what i want Rio: Yeah, he ain't Rio: because he doesn't know how to be a fucking parent Rio: you'll get taken into care if you aren't careful Indie: thats what youre gonna chat now Indie: the baitest line you can pull Indie: thats been over me since i was born into this Indie: but where am i Indie: still Rio: because everyone else made sure you stayed here Rio: if you reckon that was the wrong decision then you can feel hard done by but everyone was just doing their best for you, what seemed best at the time Indie: i aint living like ive turned from them Indie: dont be extra Rio: Good Rio: don't Indie: if i need to make things lighter on myself i will Indie: you cant force me to be anywhere Rio: Yeah what do I know Rio: Do what you like, it's gonna be a laugh a minute Indie: im not vibing for that much of a jump off Indie: just not this Indie: let me be with people who dont kno Indie: why is that something to get the feds out over Rio: Because I was never saying you couldn't be, I don't know why you're coming at me with that Rio: but you need to promise me you're not going to keep away from the fam completely and you won't and I'm not thick Rio: I know what that means Indie: Edie gets to do it Indie: wheres her come through Rio: She doesn't Rio: she just does it Rio: we're all trying to sort that every fucking day, don't get it twisted babe Indie: how cant i Indie: everything else is Rio: I know Rio: but we don't need to be throwing more shit to sort onto the pile you feel Indie: i cant give you what you need Indie: i cant handle this Indie: i barely had my head around how it was trying to be w him and my step ma and the younger Indie: what is this Rio: I'm not asking you for anything, how can I when I'm letting you down so hard Rio: I don't know, it's fucked, everything is fucked Rio: you're still going to have a younger though, she's not going anywhere Indie: like how Edie didnt yeah? Indie: i wont be allowed near Indie: she didnt like me fore this Rio: She's a messed up kid, you are too Rio: it isn't personal, she just needs to blame us all for the shit that's in her head and I can't really blame her Rio: it's easy for us to all sit back and say well it's all Drew so don't look at us Rio: but he ain't the fucking boogeyman, whatever he is Indie: he still takes everything from me Indie: it'll play down to the next Indie: another messed up kid and then Rio: Yeah, it shouldn't have happened Rio: we can't actually castrate him though Indie: he gives me a sister to take her away again Indie: no way im playing happy families w his failed wifey am i Rio: Ro will always let you see Astrid Rio: she ain't like that, again, whatever she is Rio: you don't have to be her best friend to see your sister Indie: she didnt want me around when she was 😍 itll be less now shes 💔 Rio: She just doesn't know how to handle people Rio: fullstop Rio: it wasn't because of you Indie: you can chat that but what she doesnt kno how to handle is reminders of how he be Indie: thats me Indie: i came for her perfect image and now im an i told you so Rio: You're nothing like him, just in looks Rio: whatever grievance she has with Drew, is with him Rio: and frankly she should have sorted long ago but regardless, it ain't on you Indie: nah cos im from him, my ma everything back then he aint learned from it Indie: who wants to know that bout someone whenever they have to see me coming through Rio: You aren't that, to us you're you Rio: and to the olders, you remind them if your Ma, and all the good there Rio: No one needs reminding of his fuckups because he's still alive and out here making 'em, come on Indie: how did he want another kid and not us Rio: I don't think he did want her Rio: Sorry but Indie: I don't want to be in my head Indie: this place Indie: none Rio: I know Rio: Me either Indie: I'm sorry i didnt stay at the baby shower Indie: maybe if i wasnt so high Indie: idk man Rio: You can't blame yourself, none of us can Indie: i wasnt in your corner Rio: He was going to make that happen, he'd decided and that's how he rolls, fuck whatever any of us want or do or say Rio: You were, things were good, they don't have to change, we don't, you and me Indie: i can stop him sometimes Indie: if hes feeling it he listens to me Rio: Yeah, I'm not trying to take what you do have with him Rio: but likewise, not going to let you try to carry that burden, he's grown, he makes choices and even if you ain't got there to try and stop him, it's NEVER on you, alright Indie: me and him are rinsed out Indie: hes too on top to be around Indie: i vibe the chaos but i cant let him do me this way any more Indie: he tried to take you from me like its no thing and play it out like thats how you wanted it for long Indie: i cant unhear him how he chatted at me Rio: I'm really sorry, Inds Rio: wasteman or not, you shouldn't have to be out here calling time, but I understand and respect why and how you gotta Rio: Whatever you need, alright? You know you got me, I can get us a new place, we can go home, anything Rio: but you can take time too, you don't need to decide anything else rn Indie: he aint gonna heed it and i kno that Indie: its another reason i need to go Indie: my mans will protect me i aint gonna make you Indie: you gotta let mckenna do what he do and make it less Indie: take the air he aint trying to give none of us you kno Indie: i been a brat on how this convo went down Indie: ive got too much love for you to play you Rio: I know, he doesn't Rio: I want to, swear Rio: but maybe we both need time Rio: long as you promise to tell me when you need me to come back, I mean it, like, say the word when you need and there's no backlash of any kind alright Indie: I want you back now, for real Indie: but we all tripping off this Indie: and you need to get your head right too Indie: what he did its not just gonna be no thing cos thats easier you feel me Indie: same as how he cant switch now and need me to stand in for everything he lost Indie: he aint no dad to me Rio: You're right Rio: on all of it Rio: when'd you get so smart? Indie: im just 🚀 makes me sound it Indie: stoner wisdom be like Rio: Nah, I know that sound babe and it's usually total 💩 Indie: i miss you Indie: im not trying to but its real Rio: I miss you too Rio: we can still meet up, however long I gotta be away, I won't stay gone you know Indie: dont swerve me once you living lavish in london with that posh boy Rio: As if Rio: 24 'til I die, like Indie: how we gonna get the flat back Rio: tell the 'RA lads the address and they can firebomb him out? Rio: nah, we'll think of something though Indie: when everythings there but i kno he is Indie: im wearing creeps garms like im his rn Rio: I made Buster go for me, thank God he weren't there yet Rio: You could get Creeps to bell him for some gear and send him on a wild goose chase, pack as much as you can and duck out Rio: do it multiple times and take your stuff back home, even if you drop it whilst everyone's out, just so you've got a base that ain't got him in yeah? Indie: the excuse for why my homework aint done be 🔥 tho Indie: but yeah we riding cos thats a sick move Rio: Honestly Rio: this School this town so fucking sick of this fam Rio: lowkey hilarious if it weren't so dred Indie: innit Indie: if he wanna be my daddy so bad why he not writing me a note to get me outta detention Indie: 👀 you drew Rio: Teachers thinking you forged it 'cos who??? Indie: 🤔😂 Indie: markos here Indie: gotta bounce Rio: Oh, alright babe Rio: talk later 🧡 Indie: ✌
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