#she doesnt quite hate dark as much as she used to

[ask-prismaknight]

Prisma, I don't mean to be that person or a jerk about this, but I fear that you seemingly making sure that Mochi and Dark not getting to bond going to bite your ass at some point in the future.

I can understand why you are wary and don't like the thought of Dark being anywhere near Mochi, let alone hold the little guy. But you of all people should know by now how unpredictable life really can be.

For all we know, something big is going to happen that will require you to trust Dark with Mochi wether you like it or not. And if I'm honest, it might be better that you and Dark work something out that you will at least be somewhat at ease on.

I know this is asking a lot, I doubt many in your peculiar situation, not to mention the past you have with Dark, make this easy. But all I ask is to give it a chance. It's better that you've tried then not, all things considred.

Maybe someday.

[helplesslypurple77]

Day 1-Wet dreams-Illumi/Reader

Notes:  btw since you also come from a famous assassin clan your last name is Yomi(shadow in japanese, but it doesnt really mean your japanese or any aithnecity) and your parents make a brief appearance. I modeled them barely after my own parents but you can pretty much put any parents over them lol

Title from ‘You Can't Hurry Love' by The Supremes

...

Illumis knew you hated his guts. You walked with purpose from room to room, location to location, perfectly made up and neat in a kimono. You chatted with your assistants, handed out raises generously to the butlers, and laughed and smiled in the garden with your friends. But you barely spared him a glance. All you could muster was a small, fake smile, and maybe if you were in a good mood, a simple greeting. 

“Hello, husband.”

You ground out the word ‘husband’ like it was a curse. Illumi would simply blink, and return your greeting.

“Hello, my wife.”

You would smile that fake plastic smile that always managed to appear when he was near, and remove yourself from the situation as fast as possible. Illumi didn't mind your attitude. He had no attachments to you, you were simply a woman his parents had picked. He knew you hadn't volunteered for this, and so he simply let your barbs roll off his shoulders and carried on with his day. He was sure he had no interest in you. 

His parents had raised him not to fall for pretty women with pretty smiles. Pretty smiles that were never tossed his way. 

He remembered so clearly your first meeting. Years ago, when you were both younger, when you were softer, when you smiled at him.

♡♡♡

“Straighten your collar.” Mother said. Illumis back twitched, reaching up to fiddle with the black collar of his kimono, pulling the white of his undershirt slightly, so it peaked over the outer collar. He felt stiff and trapped. And hot. Mother had combed his shoulder length hair neatly, so it fell prettily around his neck. Illumi felt like a bird, forced to preen for the sake of his parents. eighteen was too young to be engaged. Illumi frowned, brows furrowing across his pale skin.

“Tell me mother,” He asks. “Why must I do this? Why not Miluki.”

His mother cocks an eyebrow, standing across the small waiting room of their house. They are waiting for the guests.

“You're the most presentable of my children,” Kikyo said, straightening the hem of her dark purple kimono. Her eye visor blinked. “Straighten your back and try to make a good impression. That wedding Kimono was your fathers.”

Illumi raises his arm to run a hand through his hair, but freezes and Kikyo's glare. He lowers his hand back down slowly. Kikyo folds her hands delicately across her lap

“You know how important this alliance is, Illumi.” She scolds, “her family will be a vital asset.”

Illumi nods stiffly, adjusting his black haori. He doesn't want to marry. He doesn't want someone tying him down. 

“Excited, son?” Silva has arrived, Zeno grumbling behind him. Illumi shakes his head.

“I don't want to marry,” He protests. SIlva laughs, landing a hand on Illumis shoulder.

“I know, but this match is quite important to the future of the Zoldyck clan.” He explains, patting Illumi gently on the shoulder. “Name is a powerful woman, whose talent will certainly be useful in the future. Not to mention an alliance with her family is ideal for us.”

Illumi nods obediently, absorbing the information. But nothing they say truly makes him want to do this. Silva laughs.

“Don't be too upset, son. I hear she's very beautiful.” He says with a chuckle, giving Illumi one last pat on the back, and moving towards Kikyo. She eyes him up and down, taking in his work attire, and sighs a great, gusty sigh. Before she can complain, the main door opens with a slam. They're here.

Kikyo stands tall, Silva next to her, Illumi beside him, Zeno on his other side. They stand in a neat line. Awaiting their visitors.

Illumi can make out five figures. Two silent handmaidens clothed in dark blue kimonos, sharp eyes demurely pointed down. Their obviously trained bodyguards. They walk in front of the three figures, deceptive smiles on their faces. 

Next come two older figures. A tall, muscled man, who glares around the room. And a shorter woman, who smiles almost too kindly. They must be your parents, the leaders of your family. And before the, almost surrounded, almost protected, is a figure clothed in white and red.

You stand out brilliantly against the blues and blacks of the backgrounds, the white and red of your kimono almost glowing in the lamplight. But what strikes Illumi silent, is your face. You are beautiful. Illumi feels a weird beating in his chest. Your eyes dart nervously from person to person, never quite landing on him. Illumi fights down the odd desire to move forward, to do something. He doesn't know what. Kikyo is the first to speak

“How lovely to meet you,” She says, moving forward. Your mother moves in return, smiling at Kikyo and moving forward. The adults dissolve into pleasantries. Illumi stays still, as the room springs into motion around him. All he can see is you across from, glowing and clothed in white. Spit is gathering in his mouth, and Illumi gulps it down and moves forward.

“Hello,” He says when he stands before you. He sounds like a robot. You smile shyly, ribbons of hair falling down around your shoulders.

“Hi,” You say, offering a hand. Illumi looks at it. Your hand is small and delicate, with small rounded nails. They shimmered in the light. Illumi had the urge to kiss it. You frown.

“Not one for handshakes?” You ask, disguising your disappointment with a small laugh. Illumi frowns, grabbing your hand as it recedes.

“No!” Illumi gets out a little too eargerly. You look up at him, confusion in your pretty eyes. Illumi takes your hand in his own.

Your hand is soft and the back of his neck and his ears suddenly hot. You giggle nervously as Illumi gently lowers your hand, and a pretty flush graces your cheeks. Illumi almost preens like a bird. You liked him. He liked that. He liked you. 

“We haven't introduced ourselves properly,” You say, a smile gracing your painted lips, Illumis eyes follow the movement. He feels strangely hungry. 

“Yes,” He says. You wait, and when the silence continues, you speak first.

“I am Name Lastname, oldest daughter of the Yomi family.” You say. Your name is as pretty as you. Illumi nods.

“Illumi Zoldyck, eldest son of the Zoldyke family.” He says. You smile again, posture relaxing a little. Illumis eyes catch on the flash of skin as your collar slides down a bit. He can see a hint of collarbone.

“It's nice to meet you, Illumi,” You say. He likes the way your mouth forms the syllables of his name.

“You too, Name.” He returns. He still sounds like a robot, but as you smile, he feels himself relax a bit. The adults are still chatting around you, in a small circle as they talk about anything and everything, but all he can see is you in front of him. Suddenly, marriage doesn't sound so bad.

“Do you, um, want a tour?” he asks, his voice cracking a bit, he hopes you don't notice. A grin lights up your face, and you nod happily.

Oh yes,” You say, “i'd love one.”

Illumi almost smiles, but instead offers his arm. For a moment, he worries your won't take it. You’ll scoff and roll your eyes and leave to marry a much nicer boy—

Your hand wraps around his arm, heating his cold skin. Illumi shivers. As he leads you through the archway and deeper into the house, he can feel your presence next to him. The scent of your perfume lingers in the air. Intoxicating. Illumi feels hot, flustered, and emberassed. And for the first time in a while, happy.

“Well, what do we have here.” 

Illumi looks up, already dreading the sight he knows hes gonna see. Sure enough, Hisoka stands before him, wearing jeans and a black tutrleneck and grinning like the cat that got the cream.

Illumi frowns.

“Whose this?” You asks. Your peartched beside him on the couch of the library, hands folded neatly in your lap. Illumi holds back a groan as Hisokas eyes slide to you. His eyes take you in, your pretty face and your white wedding kimono, and he smirks. 

“Yeah Illumi, introduce me to your pretty lady friend.” Hisoka says. You giggle, pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. Illumi’s stomach sinks. 

“This is Name, my fiance.” he says. “Name, meet Hisoka.”

“Hi,” You say, offering your hand to shake. Hisoka grins. 

“Positivly enchanted to meet you.” Hisoka says, and grips your hand in his pale fingers, bringing it up to press a kiss to the top. Illumi glares. You giggle again, as the tips of Hisokas red hair brushes your wrist. Illumi glares harder. After what feels like forever, Hisoka recedes, and Illumi watches your hand fall back into your lap. 

“So, Illumi.” Hisoka says, plopping between the two of you. “You didint tell me you were engaged.”

“In his defense, we just got engageed today.” You say, and Illumi is certain he can spot a blush across your cheeks. He curses Hisoka as you continue. “Are you guys close?”

“No.” Illumi says. HIsoka pouts very fakely.

“How rude.” He says, and illumi digs his finger into Hisokas side as the man leans over, stage whispering into your ear.  “Im his only friend. Hes embarrassed.”

“I see,” You say with a laugh. “How old are you Hisoka?”

“20.” Hisoka says, swiping his hair away from his face. 

“Oh, your older than us, huh.” You say, smiling much to nicely for Illumis liking. You sound like your enjoying yourself, and that makes him feel weird. 

“You must be the same age as Illumi?” Hisoka asks. He continues at your nod. “Your so pretty and socialable, hes lucky..”

You laugh. Hisoka winks. Illumi jabs a second finger into Hisoka’s side.

“Thanks, your handsome too.” You say. “And very funny. Both of you are.”

Illumi digs a third finger into Hisoka’s side, but it only seems to egg him on. He only shoots Illumi a gleeful grin, then turns back to you.

“Why thank you, dear—”

“Im going to talk to him alone for a moment.” Illumi interrupts him, yaking him by his hair and dragging him away.

“Alright.” You say, waving them away with a smile.

Hisoka blows you a kiss, and Illumi yanks his hair harder, dragging him around a nearby bookcase, and release the hair like it had burned him. Hisoka is grinning from ear to ear.

“You jealous.” He says

“No!” Illumi shouts, then looks around frantically, before shaking his head. “No.” He repeats more calmly.

“Dont be embarrassed,” Hisoka says, leaning against the bookcase. “Its only natural to be jealous of me after all.” 

He runs a hand through his hair with a grin. Illumi fake gags. 

“Im not jealous.” Illumi says, doing his best to maintain his eaven tone.

“Oh really” Hisoki says, raising an eyebrow into his hairline. “Can i kiss her then?”

Illumi knows it bait. Hisoka is only doing this to annoy him, or taunt him. He always does shit like this. But he still feels all wierd. Illumi takes a deep breath.

“I dont care.” He says, putting on his best performance. “I dont even like her.”

“Oh yeah?” Hisoka asks, folding his arms. “You dont think shes pretty?”

“She’s unremarkable.” Illumi suplies, Hisoka doesnt look like he believes him, so he tries his best. “In everything, from looks to talents, she seems unfit to marry into this family!”

Hisoka’s eyebrow creeps higher and higher, but Illumi maintains his blank stair until he with a sigh. Theres silence for a moment, until Hisoka pushes off the bookcase, 

“If you really dont mind, i think i will kiss her.” He says, walking back the way they came. 

Illumi moves suddenly, grabbing Hisokas arm in a death grip. Hisoka turns around with a smirk, and sudcenly, Illumi understands hes been got.

“So you do li—”

“Shut up.” Illumi grinds out. “Dont tell.”

Hisoka grins. “Sure.”

♡♡♡

You never were friendly with him after that. You had vanished when he and Hisoka had returned, and you were cold and standoffish in the times he saw you, both before the wedding and in the two years that had passed after it. Illumi didint mind. Not a bit.

His chest feels a bit weird. Illumi brings his hand up, feeling above his heart. Maybe he was injured on todays mission.

He should check that out when he gets back to his quarters. Illumi walks down the long hallway, pausing for a split second in front of the only other door. Your door. You wouldnt want to see him. Still Illumi feels the urge to open your door, go in and see what you were doing. You were probably getting ready for bed. Illumi should just go to his room. With a huff of breath Illumi continues down the hallway and closes his door behin him. His chest is hurting more. He shrugs of his top, pocking at the skin over his heart. Oddly enough, theres no wound, only a few minor cuts on his side and abs. 

“Illumi? I need to speake with you.” He hears your voice, coming from the connecting door between your room and his. His heart suddenly feels better.

“Come in.” He says. You enter, closing the door behind you with a creak. The hinges must be rusted. Your eyes skan him up and down taking in his half naked state.

“Why are you shirtless.” You say. Your ears are red, you must be hot.

Illumi gestures at his chest. “Injuries. What did you need to speak with me about?”

You ignore the first part, moving forward with worry. “Your injured?” You say, looking around the room. “Wheres your first aid kit. Ill help.”

“Theres no need.” Illumi protests. 

You glare. “Am i that incompetent? Just let me do it.” you say, hands on your hips. Your wearing some satin nightgown thing. Its black, and the silky fabric stops high up on your thighs, fluttering distractingly. The fabric draws his eyes to the unbleamashed skin of your thighs. 

You tap your foot on the floor. “First aid box?”

“In the bedside drawer.” Illumi settles back onto the bed with a sigh, you march over, first aid box in your vengeful hands and plop it down onto the bed. Rummaging through it, you find some alcohol and dab it onto a cotton pad. Illumi feels your breath on his skin as you bed over, disinfecting his first wound. He feels weird.

“You wanted to talk to me?” He prompts, ignoring the strange feelings in his gut. The silk of your nightgown slips a little, a black strap sliding down one sholder. You move it back up. Illumi moves his eyes from the movement. 

“Oh yeah,” You say, gentle hands placing a bandaid on his wound. “I had tea with Kikyo this afternoon.”

Illumi frowns. Kikyo loves you, and always makes sure to assure him hes lucky to have you. Whenever the two of you have tea, its sure to prelude an angry summon and admonishment. His mother believed he wasnt working hard enough on your relationship. Illumi knew you would prefer he just leave you alone. His mother always rambled on about how you were hurt, and he was a fool. Illumi was not a fool.

“Fun.” Illumi says. You move to disinfect another wound.  “How is she.”

“Good. She wants grandchildren.” You say. Your neck is also red. Illumi coughs.

“Are you hot?” Illumi asks. You frown in confusion.

“No?” You say. You look up, and Illumi watches the lace slide across the top of your boobs. He digs a hand into his thigh, trying to mute the arousal starting to creep through his body. He deosnt know much of sexual activity, but he certainly knoews this feeling. 

“Ok.” Illumi says. You put one of his brothers discarded little mermaid bandaids on the cut under his left pec. He shivers involuntarily when your nails scrape his skin. “I can get grandchildren.”

You jerck up, a shocked expression on your face. “What?” Your face is flushed, the cotton pad dangling close to falling from your hand. He feels himself swell up, body heating with the things he had implied, and prays you dont notice. Illumi frowns his, heat gathering in his face. 

“I can go steal some.” He explains, “Hisoka meantoned a friend of his who—”

“No Illumi.” You say, laughing a little. Illumi is proud he made you laugh. You move back towards him with the cotton pad as you continue. “How is Hisoka doing?”

“Fine.” Illumi says. He feels all grumply all of a sudden, and his heart is hurting again. “Hes fighting at Heavens Arena appearently.”

“That sounds perfect for him.” You say with another chuckle. Illumi feels his fingers dig into his palm, and relaxes them slowly. The arousal, which had faded slightly at Hisoka’s name, comes back in full force as your hands return and you lean down. Illumi gets and eyefull of your boobs, cupped in a plane black braw under the black lace. He looks up abruptly, begging you dont notice. You would probably never talk to him again if he made his arousal obvious. Thankfully your too busy tending to his wounds to notice.

“Anyway, Kikyo gave me something to give to you.” You say, your hand pressing a third bandaid, this one of lego batman, onto his abs. You smooth over it, hands lingering for what feels like hours on his abs. Illumi resists the urge to grab your wrists and guid them a few inches lower, to the part of him that really, really wants it. You sigh, pulling back

“There, all done.” You say.

Illumi feels both let down and relieved as you pull away, as your scent fades away with your body. Suddenly, you’re jerked to a stop.

“Illumi?” You say, glaring down pointedly. For a moment, Illumi fears you’ve discovered his obvious arousal. You’ll probably look at him in disgust or worse, storm from the room and nevver talk to him again. Illumi follows your eyes, and finds his hand has reached out to grab your wrist. He lets it go.

“What did you have to give to me?” he asks, pulling the offending hand back into his lap, trying to subtly cover any hints of his arousal.

“Oh right,” You say. “I forgot it in my room.” 

You move through the door again, and Illumi finds his eyes drawn to the sway of satin over your ass. He curses his eyes, and takes a moment to at least try to banish all signs of arousal before you retur n. 

“Here,” You say. In your hand is a vhs tape. “She said you should watch it.”

Illumi takes the tape and drops it thoughtlessly onto the bed beside him. You turn, moving back towards the door. Illumi feels the odd urge not to let you leave. Its probably the arousal talking.

“Wait.” He says impulsive. Your turn.

“Yes?” You ask, tapping a foot on the floor. “What else?”

Illumi frowns helplessly. He feels the strongest urge to keep you here with him. But your glaring at him, and he cant come up with an excuse to stop you from leaving. So he lets you go.

“Nothing.” 

The door slams behind you and his eyes sink to the Vhs tape beside him. Its obviously old, the label worn with age. It says ‘instructional tape,’. Gingerly, Illumi sets the vhs tape on his coffee table, and with sweaty hands, and arousal pumping through his body, goes to change for bed.

♡♡♡

 Your tyring to walk away from him again. Desperation fuiling his fingertips, Illumi reaches for you. If you leave now, through the black hole of a door between your rooms, he knoes he’ll never see you again. Illumi feels his fingers close around your thin wrists, jerking you to a stop. You turn, looking down at the hand wrapped around your wrist.

“What do you want, Illumi?” You ask. The black fabric of your nightgown highlights your skin, and you look so beautiful under the lowlight. Illumi finds himself taking a deep breath.

“Mother wants grandchildren.” He says, voice stilted. You nod, as he continues. “So, we should maker her some.”

You stare at him for a moment, before yanking your arm from his wrists. Illumi almost begs you to stay. You cant go, you cant reject him like this. He doesnt know if he’ll ever recover. But instead of rejecting him, you bring your hand up, tipping the strap of your night gown down your shoulder. Illumi watches as the black fabric slinks down your body, hugging your every curve as it slides down until it falls off your hips and hits the floor without a sound. Your left clothed only in your simple black bra and matching panties. Illumi feels his dick swelling with exitement in his pants as he reaches out, hands shaking to grip your waist delicately. He feels as if you might break if he grips to hard, or you might leave if he holds you too soft. You smile at him.

“I thought you’d never agree.” You say, a vision before him. Illumi feels the urge to comfort you. Gingerly, stifly, he pulls you into a hug. Your body is so much warmer than his, your temperature leaking off your skin and sinking into his own. He can smell your scent to clearly he almosts tastes it. 

“Ill do whatever you want.” Illumi says truthfully, and before the embarrassment sinks in, he pulls back enough to press a kiss to your lips.

Illumi has only ever kissed one girl. Ounce. On a dare from Hisoka. When he was thirteen. So its safe to say he doesnt have the most experience. He can tell you dont either, but that fine. You’ll figure it out together. The first press of lips is simple, just your lips colliding softly. And then the little knowledge Illumi had read begins to kick in and he moves his lips against yours. You smile against him, hands gripping his muscled shoulders as he winds his own arms around your bare waist. Your skin is so hot, hot like your breath as it collides hits his lips when the two of you pull back. 

You step backwards drawing him forward until your bug hits the bed and the two of you tumble onto it with a thud. You giggle a little, and move back in for another kiss. He can feel his body reacting to your touch, to your kiss, and as you girp his bare shoulders, he bites back a groan. He wants you so bad, he practically achs for it. 

You pull away from his lips, reaching around your back to undo the strange clasp that holds your braw together. Illumi watches in awe as you tosse it to the side, followed by your underwhere. 

“Look Illumi,” You say, grabbing his hand and tracing it down. Down your chest, through the valley of your boobs. Down your abdomen and navel and through the hair below to find something. Illumi watches in fascination as you press his fingers into a wet heat. “I want you so bad.”

Your back arches off the bed, body curving with what seams like pleasure as a small sigh escapes from your lips. Illumi feels himself twitch.

“Can i put it in?” He says, somehow sounding even more emotionless than usual. You nod, letting go of his wrist to bring your own hands to his crotch, pawing at the bulge in his pants. Illumi fights down another groan, shedding his pants and quickly as possible. Your lying on your back when he gets back, your legs propped up, and grinning. Illumi carefully grips himself, and concentrates on finding the prize you had shown him before. The wet heat is easy to find again, and Illumi carefully lines himself up before pressing himself inside.

Your mouth opens in a moan of his name, and Illumi almost lets go as he feels what must be heaven for the first time. He goes as slowly as possible, as your hands scrabble, gripping his wrists, the sheets beneath you, the nipple of your boobs until hes fully sinside of you, body between your spread legs, hands digging into the comforter on either side of you.

Strands of hair are caught in the sweat of his back, while others tumble down to brush your boobs. Illumi lets out a small groan. 

“Move,” You say. You must see his look of confusion, because you grin up through eyes hazy with arousal. “Grab my waist and thrust in and out.”

Illumi obeys, watching as your back arches, and your eys close in what must be pleasure. Its addictive to watch you, his eyes darting back and forth between your face and the places where your bodies connect. The world around him is hazy, your the focus. You always have been. The pleasure in his body is building. He feels like a chord is wrapping nots in his gut, and its going to snap. As if to match him, you grip his wrists.

“Almost there baby.” You moan. Illumi’s hips stutter as you continue. “Kiss me.”

Illumi feels himself close to loosing control, and with the last bit of his sanity, bends down to kiss your lips—

He wakes up tangled in his sheets, with the words ‘I love you’ on his lips and a wet spot staining his pants. 

After a cold shower and a long thought, Illumi decides that maybe its time to woo his wife. He sets off down the hall with his usual blank expression, but fi you looked close, there was a small bounce in his step.

.......

Endnotes: yaya first day done! btw i think the fanfic writer curse got me too, a bunch of person stuff was happening and i was already upset and i was preparing for kinktober...

and then BAM!!!

my grandma died!!!

btw if stuff is a little late thats why, cause im also sewing the dress im gonna wear, because she used to sew(im actually using her old machine)

anway, enjoy your smut dosage!!

[inez-winchester-cameron]

omg pls write more of what you just posted of rafe with that age gap it's sooo hot 😭 like something about the reader being bratty on purpose and sassing him

cw: dark!rafe x younger!reader, 29 and 19, non-con/rape, drug use, intoxicated reader, talks of free use and public sex, abusive relationship

note: is this too dark, yes or no

rafe HATES when you disobey at parties. ever since you two have started dating, you have a bad habit of misbehaving at parties to get more attention from rafe. whether that be overdrinking, snorting coke, smoking weed, or flirting with other guys. all of these being things that you KNOW rafe disapproves of.

tonight, it happened to be a mix of all of them. you went to the restroom and came back to rafe talking with one of his ex girlfriends, sofia. you completely being oblivious to the fact that he was telling her off. you huff and head back into the room where topper and kelce sit.

they're doing lines and drinking, sitting on opposite sides of a loveseat.

"hey, y/n, have a seat," topper politely greets you, gesturing to an empty chair beside the loveseat but you smile and sit inbetween topper and kelce. they give eachother a look but say nothing.

"whatcha guys doin?" you ask, looking over toppers shoulder as he sets up a line.

"coke, nothing you should concern yourself with."

"yeah rafe would kill us if he knew you were anywhere near this," kelce comments.

"hes too busy bein up sofia's pussy to care. can i do a line?"

kelce and topper both look at you at this comment, a little shocked. they knew rafe and how loyal he was to you, he never even so much as entertained another girl.

"you saw him up her pussy?" kelce asks, confused.

"well no but- it doesnt even matter, just let me do a line."

"sweetheart i dont think-" topper starts.

"pleaseeeeee?" you beg, giving him puppy eyes.

topper sighs and glances to kelce who shrugs. eventually topper responds, "okay fine, sweetie, but you cannot tell rafe."

"i won't, promise! ill even pinky promise if you want!"

topper stares at you for a moment, finding your innocence both endearing and hot at the same time. too bad you aren't his. topper sets up a line for you and gently guides you onto your knees in front of the table. he gives you the dollar bill and guides you as you snort it. you let it sit for a minute, not feeling anything, then it hits. and you want more.

"again!" you say, looking at topper, feeling your brain begin to buzz.

"yeah no i don't-"

"what the fuck are you doing?"

your eyes shoot to the doorway. rafe stands there, arms crossed, hair messy, blood on his knuckles, and he looks pissed.

"rafey!" you greet him, trying to pretend you didn't just snort cocaine. you stand up, swaying, and subsequently falling back onto the couch.

"what the fuck guys?" rafe questions, walking over to you. he looks pissed, "how much did you give her?"

"just a line, man, she asked for it. quite literally," kelce speaks first and topper agrees.

"i didn't know you don't let her do that man, im sorry-" topper defends himself and rafe shakes his head, calming down a bit.

"nah you're good, man. it's her fault. come on, princess, we have some business to discuss." rafe says through gritted teeth, roughly grabbing your arm and heading to his room. once you're upstairs and away from people, he starts scolding you, "what the fuck were you thinking? you know so much better than that."

"you were talking to Sof-"

"yeah i was telling her to go suck a fucking dick. then i beat the shit out of her boyfriend for calling you a whore. but maybe he was right, you don't think about anyone but yourself, huh? always just assuming. saw the way you were staring at top." rafe speaks with no sympathy and you two slip into his bedroom. he presses you down onto the bed, holding your hands behind your back as he flips your little skirt up, "no panties? you fucking serious? god what is wrong with you? you stupid little whore."

you hear his belt unbuckle and your head continues buzzing from your high. soon enough, you feel his cock, pushing into you. it's immediately too much.

"rafe-! no no no-"

"don't tell me fucking no, bitch. act like a whore, get treated like one. maybe i should've just fucked you downstairs," rafe starts, setting a fast pace with his thrusts, not hearing any of your protests, "or maybe i should tie you up down there, let all these drunk men use your holes since you wanna disobey. i think that's a fair punishment, huh? i try to be nice and defend your honor and you make eyes at two of my best friends. fucking bitch."

"rafe i didn't- i don't want this- stop!" you beg but rafe doesn't care. he simply tugs your hair in response as you start crying. your head is pounding and it's all too much.

"that's it, cry for it, bitch. this is my fucking pussy and i'm gonna use it when i want. now whine one more time and i'm gonna make this pussy free use to the entire island."

you whimper and stay quiet in response. you think about leaving rafe, but you can't, you love him and maybe you even secretly loved being fucked against your will.

[cheeseandbretboy]

JOKER (2019) AND JOKER: FOLIE A DEUX (2024) SPOILERS !!!

still trying to sift through my thoughts but i liked joker 2. i dont get how the ratings are so bad?? were people expecting a romance???? a fun movie? i mean even i was surprised by the depressing end but im really glad it happened because thats what joker 2019 was about too. arthur was never the actual 'joker' we see in dc films, and we knew that. his whole story is tragic but a lot of people missed that in the first movie. the second speaks on that to humanise arthur (even though thats what they literally tried to do in the first one?? didnt work i guess) and shame those who use him as a symbol for misogyny and incel stuff. i think what most people are mad about is how hes not as 'villainy' as the other jokers BUT AGAIN he was never the true joker and im confused as to how people missed that !! personally i loved how it shows that even after he's secured himself the identity of joker he's still repeatedly exploited as he was before that, and he has to come to terms with it. harleys character was really surprising for me because usually she's the one being manipulated by joker- in this case it was the other way around. especially interesting was how joker was the one who sung 'bewitched' about harley (the original song is sung about a man, so they had to change he/him to she/her) and the scene of joker and harley's show where she continues singing 'to love somebody' without looking at him, instead basking in the attention the audience gives her. people were expecting a twisted sexy romance between them but instead we were given something really uncomfortable and unnerving- like that sex scene. her character also gives insight into parasocial relationships and how weird and dangerous they can get. she never really knew arthur- she knew joker. the film starts with us finally happy that he 'for once in his life, has someone who needs him' and ends with us absolutely distraught. in the first movie, he says stuff like 'you dont listen' and 'i never knew i existed' and STILL after becoming an infamous killer, getting a show about him, EVERYONE talking about him, he's still not seen. there are just so many things the film points out about its fanbase (incels, parasocial relationships, identity, the glamourisation/sexualisation of violence, columbiners, exploitation etc etc) and i guess people don't like that. they want capitalism=bad, 'men have it so bad', and mm gore! which is fair- i loved it too- but it doesnt hurt to delve into the identity of 'joker' (whatever that is) and how that influences its viewers. its quite meta i like it a lot. they didnt care that the ratings would be awful because they had to speak on what the first movie did to people

oh also the intertextuality is just amazing. the songs are great, like i mentioned before with changing the female and male roles with 'bewitched', and even though i absolutely hate musicals this really worked fo rme. i think it's because musicals often have songs smack bam in the middle of realistic scenes and the singing just ruins it for me- but in joker 2 they're more often a part of arthur's fantasies so it was actually better. i wasnt sure about the musical element at first but after rewatching joker for like the 1000th time i realised how much its intertwined in the first movie- we just never really paid attention to it. the end of 'gonna build a mountain' was amazing (you have to pay attention to the lyrics), 'the joker' was great, and the few instances of violence we see from arthur while hes singing is really entertaining i love it sm. i keep mentioning 'betwitched' but i love it. 'she is cold, i agree, she can laugh, and i love it' ahh. i loved the intertextuality with nolan's the dark knight. a lot of people hate it, but i think people should be more flexible with inspiration and interweaving similar but different stories into films. just because it follows a similar story doesnt mean that it should either perfectly fit the mould of nolan's batman, but neither does it mean they should abandon it altogether either. harvey dent really surprised me, and even though he was a pretty minor character i loved the few references to nolan's batman they give (like his gory face after the explosion at court being a possible villain origin story). most obvious is the end though, where arthur is gutted by that inmate who admires him. the use of the joke was amazing and i was really surprised by how he got stabbed. you can see in this moment that arthur has been relieved of his identity of 'joker' and can finally rest as himself, just a mentally ill guy with a history of tragic abuse. when lee and his fans betray him (the real life ones too hilariously) we realise no one truly saw or loved him, and he couldn't deal with that. so, the identity of joker was passed on to that inmate- "ah, what a fine young son to take my place"- while he cuts a glasgow smile into his face. in felt this was sort of missing from joker 2019, so im really glad they used ledger's joker as inspiration for this inmate.

there's a lot more to talk about, ESPECIALLY gary's reappearance which im so so glad about, it really fleshed out his character. when he walked up to the stand, you can see people whispering and laughing at him- arthur never made fun of him. it really helps to make people question what constitutes a bad person. sure, these people didn't kill 6 people, but how easy would it be for them just not to laugh? it showed arthur's empathy, and how uncomfortable he was with admitting to it when trying to paint himself as the joker. "you were the only one who was nice to me" was said by arthur in the first movie when he kills randal and gary says something similar to him during court.

anyways wow that was great people are mad the 2nd movie is as depressing as the first (if not more). at the end ofthe first, arthur has a whole revolution loving him, and we did the same. at the end of the second we realise we never truly knew him, but exploited his character.

[gushers-simp]

Some thoughts about contrasting characteristics and diversion tactics in A Deadly Education (I have not yet read the other two books in the series)

Regarding El, she is described as feeling like its going to rain, and its understandable why people would see that and immediately think "bad", but rain isnt necessarily a bad thing. I think Novik chose that specifically because of the symbolism a coming storm can bring. Its destructive and scary, yeah maybe, but rain is cleansing, it brings new life/growth.

I have a hunch that is going to tie in quite beautifully with her character arc/what ever role she will grow into in the next two books.

And I feel like Novik does a lot of subtle misdirection like this, giving El a description we're meant to immediately interpret as bad, but that can actually be interpreted much differently if you stop to think about it (maybe the only reason people fear her is because they fear the unknown. she's not bringing destruction as death, she's bringing it as change. and people hate change, change is scary in and of itself). I notice this misdirection a lot with how Orion and her are being constantly contrasted. They are very much opposites in a lot of ways--physically: Orion is pale and silver haired and kinda more small of stature for a guy, El has darker skin, dark hair, on her way to being above average in height; socially: orion is well loved and well recieved, kinda socially oblivious tho (very autistic imo) doesnt realize all the structures benefiting him, whereas El is an outcast people take an automatic disliking to, is very socially speculative,extremely good at reading people, and very aware of how everything functions, the structure of the hierarchies, the systems in place and necessary procedures to make it through life at the school, etc. -- but if you stop reading into all the opposites that are being deliberately thrown at you and analyze their relationship and their characters, you see they have a lot of core things in common. like that they both have similar feelings of social isolation (even if it is in opposite directions), theyre both brave and self sacrificing. It almost feels like im not meant to realize that yet, because then i will realize how everything is going to end. (I have a fear that the self-sacrificing bit is reaaalllly going to hurt later on.)

There is also a prevalent theme of ballance in this book, and that ties into the comparing and contrasting of Orion vs El. They are extremely yin yang coded.

I feel like this isnt the kind of thing I'd usually be thinking so deep about in an average book, but this author has already proven that shes is very smart. The ways she writes about the different politics, the realistic characters (looking at you, trauma responses so realistic they triggered my own XD), the rich culture of the school and of the magic itself, etc., it makes it feel completely possible that she'd be doing all of these subtle things very on purpose. Immediately I think of the scene in the library, where the school is using distraction and misdirection to try to keep El from noticing the maw-mouth. And the thought of Novik using this kind of misdirection/distraction literally in the story (like the library scene) but also as writing device (where its not directed at the main character, but at us, the audience/4th wall) is soooooo cool to me wow.

Naomi Novik is a genius.

[sonic-oc-showdown]

ROUND 1

Zenyx belongs to @grimsdeadb0nes

Lori-Ki belongs to @julie-su

Find out more about them below!

Zenyx:

Zenyx is a(n Offcolor) Zeti hailing from the Lost Hex, hidden from the eyes of all but a small handful for her own safety.

Described as exceedingly versatile and a fairly composed wild-card, she acts as The Deadly Six's secret Seventh member! The full extent of her outwardly behaviors is dependant on who she may be around or the situation at hand. She can be quite sweet and very caring to those she likes or is loyal to (which is a very limited list), but can otherwise be just as malicious as the rest of her Pack tend to be towards outsiders. However, unlike the other six, she won't always go out of her way to cause harm or misery UNLESS given proper reason to or provoked. She can be alittle hissy at times, but she's not inherently hot-headed like some; she just doesnt like her buttons being pushed or being lied to- or worse yet, her Pack being messed with.

Zenyx is extremely loyal to the Six and may be described as "caring alittle too much", as she enjoys keeping an eye on/spending time with each and every one if possible and making sure they're okay. She's very keen on stealth and being observant, a quick thinker that thinks ahead, and maybe a slight bit of a people pleaser towards certain individuals- but she isn't afraid to give her two cents either and often lacks a filter at times, offering a touch of sass and attitude. She can be very performative (to an extent) and likes trying to make things fun, being ultimately much more (surprisingly) pleasant than the rest of the Six.

In my Lost World Rewrite (currently still being worked on as of this Poll, yet to be properly revealed!), she is the main inclusion-difference and is by all means another rough obstacle for Sonic and Tails to get through. She managed to remain hidden while the rest of the Six were "conquered" by Eggman for a time, staying out of sight and scheming or helping behind the scenes- as well as working on a way to aid in their freedom before Sonic inevitably kicked the Cacophonic Conch from Eggman's grasp, speeding up that plan tenfold. Eggman was none the wiser to her existence until much later in the story, even going as far as aggressively denying the existence of a seventh in the stretch of area he had taken over when asked about it by Tails, because "If there was, I would have conquered them too!" or something.

She appears in much further stuff planned but thats all hush hush rn ;3!

Lori-Ki:

(art by @/btm-txt)

Lori-Ki is a vengeful member of the Dark Egg Legion, who misses the time before Dimitri had joined forces with Dr. Eggman. She hates Eggman with a passion; spurring first from his refusal to restore her full cybernetics from when EnerjaKnux had forcibly removed them from her, and the rest of the Legion. She had used to boast a half-titanium skull which looked quite frightful; she hated the ridiculous and mass-produced 'upgrades' that were made to her under the Dark Egg Legion. She now skulks around the base, trying to be as unhelpful and sabotaging as she can, plotting Eggman's downfall from the shadows. However, she is the equivalent of a chihuahua amongst dobermen, so all she can do is waste company time, and complain to other legionnaire folk.

[dragon-prince-6-3]

Dragon prince season 6 spoiler

I thought viren would have done something much darker to save soren than what we have seen. My Theorie was that he sold his soul and his ability to love or killed lissa because she agreed to it ( she know he was a dark mage from the beginning and what mother wouldnt give her live for her child, viren would need to stay alive to performe the spell and afterwards just lied to his children their mother left them to keep them guild free )

Instead she is angree because of his looks and the forced tears. I wouldnt care how my husband looked if he did this to himself, not because of some addiction, but because he tryed to save our son. And i would happy give him the tears to finish the spell. Afterward i would ask what else he did and than decide if i want to go, but i still would have given my tears first. That viren forced the tears from her is not nice, but it was just tears, he didnt touch her or stole blood, etc. Just tears. I wouldnt mind giving someone i know my tears or hair, if they give me a good reason. If a family member would get sick and they would need an organ from me, i would spend it. Water is the least lissa can give when viren already ruined his looks for sorens health.

Next comes the stealing of the staff. That too is not bad. Viren is the student of a master who no longer wants to teach and burn all knowledge of his subject to the ground. I would be already dissapointed in my teacher for quitting. He is allowed to change his mind about his job, so i wouldnt hold it against him. But it is a loss that a Position which needs to be filled with one Person per Generation, where everyone could tecnically qualify. Gets settled with a guy who will not continue the Tradition, after he got a good house and money from it. If he never applaied someone else would have gotten it, who could have actually liked it. Since he liked it in the beginning and now hates it, it is a loss but understandeble, nobady sees the future. So if he doesnt want to teach, does viren get the chance to at least learn everything on his own. No, because kppar trys to hide or destroy as much as he can. Disliking a subject is one thing. Destroying it so nobady else can learn it another. It is not just his own knowledge he would have a right over. But centurys of people and their collectice knowledge he is destroying because of his own reasons. The staff beeing the highlight. It is not a family airloom of kppar, nor a tophy he won. But a relict, which is supposed to go from one master to the next. He has a right to keep it if viren wasnt ready in his power. Instead viren was already a master and would have earned it long ago, if kppar didnt plan to destroy a century old attefact. The only reason this stands in a good light is because dark magic and the staff are evil. If it were sun magic it would be bad.( the dark magic is evil even if it does good things, is an Argument for later ). What is important is that it is centurys old and not for kppar to decide. If it did something to him like posess him or unleash some unspeekable evil on the world, his desire would be understandeble. But aaravos was not at play here, nor does the staff do this. It only increases dark magic, which destroys your own Body, but you know about it and can decide. Kppar only wanted to destroy it because he hates dark magic, not because using it would destroy the world. If you want an example immagen avatar where katara and pakkun where the only water bender alive and he would refuge to teach her because he hates water bending. We would cheer katara on to change pakkun mind but understand if he doesnt want to teach. If he starts to destroy water bending scrools and a secret healing Tool because he doesnt want anybady else to learn from it, we would be pissed. Especially if we would need the tool to save aang and he refused. So yeah viren stealing the staff is not really evil. Especially with the mind of saving soren.

The only evil thing viren did was trapping kppar. He should go into prison for that but i wouldnt hate him for it. Because he is not a monster for this. Viren stole something what should have been his and was needed to save his son. Kppar threatened that he would expose viren to a king, who will take kppar side no matter what and could punish the whole family for it. Even if only viren gets the blame, it still could leaf his children fatherless for a crime he had a good reason to do. We dont know how evil the past king was, but i wouldnt count on him taking virens side or treating him with understanding, considering how much the kingdom seems to fear dark magic. In short viren should not have trapped kppar, but i can see why he did it.

The only thing i can not forgive viren for is blaming soren. I understand where it came from but unlike the Others ( where he has good reason to do what he did ) it is not forgivable.

Virens Action are supposed to stand in a "i did something bad for you light." But i find it to mild. Maybe i saw to many series where something evil for the greater good was worse than stealing, trapping and getting tears. Or i am right and some deeper and more disturbing things would fit dark magic better. Because if this is all he did i would have done it for my family too, if i was a dark mage. If dark magic is so unforgivable and evil make him do something nobady would have had the guts to do, not even all mages before him. Let him Kill his wife, with her agreeing so we dont hate viren.

[haebails]

Riddle school headcanons

These make my brain rot

Phil

hes like a normal 12 year old but like, not normal

he has adhd shut up yes he does yes he odes!

His dog is crusty and white. He named her bulldozer before knowing she was a girl and stuck with it cuz it was funny to call a small crusty white dog bulldozer

(^ he dresses said dog up in fancy attire when he takes her for walks)

Hes actually a great pet owner and has had a ton of pets he found on the street (most of which his parents told him to get rid of (bulldozer was the only one they kept cuz they could actually manage her)

( ^ adding on this, Phil found a snake once. he did not get bit not once)

Phil has a Ps2 and has NOT upgraded since (he claims its for aesthetics but really he just forgets/cant afford a Ps5)

his parents hate smokers so he goes to Phreds house or smileys to smoke weed, always washing his clothes there to get the weed smell off him so his parents dont know

^ he smokes pot but not often enough to be considered a stoner (in college he did become a stoner for a while, before realizing weed is expensive and then he moved to cigarettes, also realizing that is expensive and then he quit smoking, period)

Phred

but he lacks a personality so bad its just characterizing at this point

he has mediocre grades, but doesnt try so his scores are down in the negatives.

(^ somehow pulls his grades up enough to make his parents not dissatisfied)

He dresses up sometimes when home alone. Always washes the dresses afterwards to avoid getting caught by his parents

Stoner

(^ buys his weed from 5 (who dosnt smoke but 808 grows weed so 5 sells it) )

He actually is a hardcore gamer, and beats phil and zack at EVERY game cuz hes so goated at all of the games theyve played

(^ phil and zack dont let phred choose games anymore)

Uses discord and has a decent group of online friends he rarely talks too

his dads a stoner too

(^ they dont smoke together)

(Little angsty) He smokes to make him forget about his grades and often calls phil while high to ramble to him about things

(^ phil has no problem with this)

Phred is a fish guy

^ he is very educated on fish

^ he doesn’t go fishing

He has a fish

(^ He named it leonardo defishnie)

Smiley

She has a toothgap

Had braces for a while to try and fix it but it came back cuz she was a kid who squirted water at other kids at the public pool

Wears and makes bracelets

^ she made the gang matching bracelets

^ they all wear them 24/7

Fandom core

Used amino religiously before her mom told her to delete it for fear of her safety

Only wears her hair in a ponytail cuz otherwise her hair will poof up and go everywhere

Overall wearer

She has those cute hairclips, and was finally able to use them when she got hair from the can

She owns like 200~ stuffed animals

She thinks taxidermy is scary and thinks greg is weird for liking it

Vocaloid listener

Gacha phase haver

Sleeps like a victorian princess who is on her deathbed

^ hard to cuddle with phil cuz he sprawls out when he sleeps

She wears a nightdown and nightcap to bed, and when she wakes up in the night she brings a candle

Her room is messy but also an organized messy

Puts those glow in the dark stars on her walls and ceiling

Ate paper as a kid

She is a natural skipper

^she loves skipping to her classes

Overworker

She likes rainey days

MLP watcher

Zack

He is much sleep deprived, and literally cannot function without water or an energy drink in his hand

Very fast eater

(^gets hiccups alot)

When hes angry his shoulders burn up

(^ Flame turns blue when extra angry

^ told smiley it was cold

^ he paid for her medical bills)

Cat owner but allergic to cat hair

Points at phil and yells at the top of his lungs “BALD”

(^ Phred joins in this act sometimes)

He likes mint icecream

Ftm

streaks of white hair, solely cuz of his dad having fully white hair

He eats seafood

(^ much to phreds dismay to see him eating sushi at lunch)

Overheats alot so he has a tote bag full of water, medicine, and bandaids

He is a deltarune player

(^ had an undertale phase and watched those sans fangirl videos)

Also had a gacha phase

He has Seizures

His hands lock up for like 5 minutes

(^ very occasionally )

He has a basement room, but made renovations to have windows in the ground

(^he paid phred and phil $50 to help him)

Heterochromia

(^ 1 eye blue, 1 eye brown)

Vitiligo

Ripped jean wearer

Been friends with smiley longer than he was friends with phil or phred

kay that’s it

[crazylittlejester]

(I apologize in advance because this'll be a long one for I have so much to say)

Malon proposed to Time and it was the cutest thing ever and it made Time so red he thought he caught a fever.

Warriors may look thin, but that man could easily carry both Time and Twilight (with their armor on) without breaking a sweat. My man swings a huge ball and chain around that could easily be a few hundred pounds, he's shredded beneath those clothes.

Twilight has both the triforce of courage and power, and often uses the blessing from the triforce of power more often.

Hyruke has all three segments of the triforce. He uses the blessing from the triforce of wisdom the most.

Wild does not have a triforce price, neither does Flora, as in their era the triforce has been hidden away in the sacred realm.

All the Zeldas are taller than their Link. Even if by an inch, they are taller (With the biggest height difference being between Time and Lullaby, as she towers him by a good foot. The hardest to see is Sky and Sun, as she is only an inch taller.)

Four has a fear of every insect except for spiders, which makes him the only Link to not have arachniphobia.

Legend has fist fought a child before. No I will not elaborate.

If sleepy or pissed off, both Twilight and Warriors shift into their native tongues (I like to think Ordon is based in an Eastern European country, so I will happily be spreading my Hungarian Twilight agenda thank you very much.)

The most passive aggressive person in the group is Sky, as he gets tired of being all nice when somebody is being a prick but doesn't want to be outright rude.

Wind thinks Time's and Twilight's facial markings are cool and wants his own.

Time is short and his boots make him taller. He is around the same height as Sky without them, and Malon is taller than him too. It's because the lost forest didn't really have enough food for him to grow properly, so he's short now.

Wind, Warriors, and Time all have some sort of PTSD relating to the FD mask. (Warriors nearly died during battle because a possessed young Time didn't realize he was a friend and not a foe. Wind was forced to wear it once during battle and doesnt want to be near it after the pain it cause him. Time is basically fusing with the Deity with how often he wore it in his youth.)

Wild is not fully mortal and is considered half dead, so certain beings either like him or hate him more for it. (Fairies tend to avoid him while spirits tend to trust him).

Four can still see the Minish despite being considered to old to. They sometimes help if the chain gets lost.

Hyrule is not the field medic, it's actually Legend and Warriors.

Sky talks about Sun so much that everybody assumed they were already married. It surprised everyone when he revealed they weren't engaged yet.

During the events of the story, Malon is pregnant with her and Time's first child. The child is born after Time returns permanently, and it is Twilight's mom!

Everybody has cuddled Twilight, either it be when he was Wolfie or not, he has been cuddled.

Warriors is his Ganondorf's son, and the only ones to know is Time, Wind and Twilight. Wild somewhat knows due to the ruins he and Flora once found from his era, though he isn't quite sure.

Wild is not the only foodie in the group. All the boys can eat their own weight and not gain a single pound afterwards. They all love food and love trying different dishes from all places.

Certain Hyrules have myths and folklore about monsters we know about (such as ghouls, vampires, werewolves and such). For example, Hyrule thought Twilight was a werewolf after learning he was Wolfie and kept placing silver objects on top of him while he was on bedrest. (Which did nothing since Twilight isn't a werewolf.)

Hylia heavily favors Wild and Sky the most out of all the boys. (Since I like the idea of BOTW and TOTK being direct sequels to SS instead if further down the timeline)

Dark Link is an amalgamation of all the Link's darkest desires. He also has the ability to shift into any of the others if he focused enough of his energy to do so.

Twilight has committed cannabilism before. His wolfish instincts got the better of him, and the guy was trying to hurt Legend. Legend hasn't spoken about it since the incident, and only they know.

All the Links have eaten something inedible and every time they do it infront of Malon she does the clutching her pearls gesture and it's really cute.

I have so many more but I'm to tired to continue. I hope you're taking care of yourself ♥

You have no need to apologize I absolutely LOVE reading people’s headcanons, feel free to stop by my ask box and tell me ur headcanons whenever you’d like :)

1. I firmly believe this was the case, Malon absolutely proposed to him. I also believe she can pick him up and carry him around

2. I have a post I’m planning on making soon about body types but I am a FIRM believer that just because Warriors is thin doesn’t mean that man isn’t strong. He’s incredibly thin looking, the kind of guy you’d assume you can see his ribs, and people underestimate his strength because of it. Yes, physically there isn’t a whole lot of him, but that’s because he has very low body fat because it’s all muscle. To me he has a build similar to female ballet dancers. Very small and you wouldn’t assume he’s capable of much if you just saw him out and about, but when he’s in his element, NO ONE doubts his strength

3. EVERY ZELDA IS TALLER THAN EVERY LINK REAL. Personally I think Sky and Sun are like the same exact height from a distance, but if you look real close, she’s taller

4. The concept that Four is the only one who wouldn’t scream and absolutely loose it at the sight of a spider made me laugh. I wholeheartedly agree with you on that one

5. Legend vs. Child (chid won)

6. Hungarian Twilight is super cool! I really like that headcanon :)

7. Sky is FOR SURE the most passive aggressive because all the others would probably get at least a LITTLE snappy but Sky would whip out a customer service voice but there would be no light in his eyes

8. Wind absolutely asked for a face tattoo and Time definitely had to shut him down.

9. THE IDEA THAT TIME IS WALKING AROUND WITH LIKE 3 INCHES OF HEEL IN HIS BOOT IS HILARIOUS. I personally think he’s about 5’8 and roughly Malon’s height in Jojo’s au, but for my own interpretation of him He Is 5’5.

10. I have a headcanon that Wild’s eyes are more of a glowly sheika blue since he was brought back. I think there’s probably something slightly off about him that gives people and animals an uncanny sense about him, even though he’s very sweet and nice, something about him just feels odd

11. Four can always see the minish, I firmly believe that

12. WARRIORS IS THE FIELD MEDIC AND I’LL DIE ON THAT HILL. Sure the others know basic first aid and such, but Warriors has the most medical knowledge and training, though I like to think he teaches what he knows to Hyrule because Hyrule is curious

13. My personal headcanon is that Twilight is Time’s great grandson, but Time lived long enough to be able to meet his son’s daughter, who is Twilight’s mom. I like to think Twilight’s mom would’ve sung him songs she learned from Malon

14. Twilight is definitely one of the more cuddly members of the group, he’s definitely down for hugs you just gotta ask him first

15. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a headcanon that Wars is Ganondorf’s son but that’s cool! I headcanon that his father died in the army💀💀💀 He just gives me absent/dead father energy

16. I think Hylian folklores and myths are definitely wildly different throughout the eras, and it probably extended to the heroes as well! Like imagine an ‘Old Hylian Myth’ and it basically says that Sky is a giant or something and the others all meet this great hero of the skys and he’s 5’4

17. I can imagine Malon being like “Wild what are you making?” and he just goes “Monster parts stew :3”

I loved reading all of these! I hope you’re taking care of yourself as well :)

[moonlit-dreamers]

Can you rate all TSAMS characters?

oh dear lord- i can certainly try tho i get the feeling i'll forget some lol

in order of favorite to least favorite

sun - 10/10 - hes perfect, nothing can change my mind. hes heavily traumatized and incredibly anxious. hes the perfect specimen for whump AND hurt/comfort. im also just Heavily biased

ruin - 9/10 - yall cant fight me on this hes one of my favorites. hes a tragic, morally gray villain that did what he thought he had to. hes a sad pathetic wet cat of a man who i bet all my money on (a whopping 500 bucks) that he doesnt even know who he is as a person

eclipse - 9/10 - him being below ruin on the list means nothing bc theyre equal in my heart. again, tragic wet cat of a man whos too damn tired to deal with this shit any more. i also relate to him in ways that probably arent healthy <3

solar flare - 8/10 - BRING MY BOY BACK HE DID NOTHING ‼️

dazzle - 8/10 - sweet baby girl she can do no wrong

jack - 7/10 - he can do many things wrong but nothing could make me hate him forever <3

molten - 7/10 - he baby. he sweet. he dont know the world and thats okay. maybe i just like it when murder machines turn into pacifists and just want to have fun.

dark sun - 7/10 - he fascinates me. i want to put him in a lil test tube and study him under a microscope. i need to ask so many questions, most of them being some form of "what is wrong with you"

computer/spaniard - 7/10 - we dont talk about the previous 2 computers we dont care about them (i dont hate them im just biased <3) i only care about SPANIARD. i miss my boy why did they have to kill him he couldve been so good. sun needs his husband back/silly

old moon - 6/10 - he is... certainly a specimen. i keep bouncing between "i hate him i want to rip his head off" and "im wrapping him in a blanket so tight he cant breathe". before he died he was an absolute prick and the fandom ruined him for me bc everyone fell for his manipulation and blamed sun for shit moon did and bc i was so biased towards sun it was difficult for me to not hate him. after he came back hes more fun (and tolerable) due to him actually improving but i wish he had more set-backs bc like. to him he'd been dead for like. a week. he should be struggling more <3

earth - 6/10 - cant quite pinpoint it but i Do feel like she could be done better as a character. she... doesnt really change that much? idk how to describe it. maybe i just find her boring lol

solar - 6/10 - yes i am putting him this far down on the list bc i feel like he couldve been done SO much better. he has so little flavor it hurts. what are his struggles? what is his goal? what does he even do outside of sun n moon?? and dont even get me STARTED on how little his past is brought up in a meaningful manner, let alone be something that effects him. you could say "oh hes gotten better" yeah but we saw none of it so like?? fbkdsgnjkds i'll need to rant about his character another day smh my head

killcode - 6/10 - it was fun while it lasted or something like that. he was interesting and i Do wish they had just.. left him alive? not bc he would be "useful" or wutever but just bc like. wut if he wants to come back randomly? like he wouldve just been a fun side character

nexus/new moon - 5/10 - listen. i dont wanna put him down here. but his current arc fucked him over. he was so fun and whimsical before! he was just a silly lil guy trying to navigate the world around him and desperately trying to fill a role he couldve never filled. his current arc couldve been SO much better. but its not as emotionally charged as it could be. like. they just completely threw away his original motive! and now he doesnt care?? not even the slightest??? booooo tomato tomato tomato throwing tomatoes/ref

lunar - 5/10 - again, you can fight me, but current lunar just isnt it for me. lunar before he died? hell yeah. he was such a lil shit that only cared about stuff if it benefited him. he didnt care that he was hurting moon with his movements, he just switched sides bc moon actually paid attention to him. him and bm couldve been SUCH a good duo too OTL

bloodmoon - 5/10 - honestly i liked v1 bm more than v2. idk man. something about their energy was so different and it lured me in. v2 kinda just felt.. boring. no critiques on his character, just not for me *shrug*

gemini - 5/10 - i dunno. just boring to me

monty - 4/10 - yet another moment of "no direct hate on the character just uninteresting to me" with monty. theyre just. boring. also another moment of "i liked them before [insert event]" with the event being before earth.

the creator - 4/10 - just. meh? he could be better as a villain but hes like. been here for so long that i wonder if he really does much of anything? idk man. im losing steam atp dnf,jsdgndkj

this might be all of them..? i dunno. probably missed a bunch (and yes im aware i shoved in some laes characters shush). im gonna leave out eaps characters so this doesnt get longer and so i dont go on a hate rant about puppet/j

[queencryo]

The Menu is astounding. It

It also feels like it held back a bit. Its not quite everything it feels

extremely dorky nktes do not take serious bellw.

The Menu is about an artist seeking high control over their art, utter and complete control of his scene. Not just the actors, but the audience too. Every gasp choreographed, every clap perfectly timed. A breathtaking clockwork masterpiece, a la Crystal Palace.

It is also about an artist's suicide note.

Chef Slowik is putting on a performance that culminates in suicide, disgusted by a lifetime of his art going to bastards who dont deserve it

He is priced at such a kings random because he demands such perfection from his art. He is frustrated that such control can only be

He lets margot fo because he sees her as an artist like himself. Sees the same dissatisfaction in her srt as he has in his.

Doesnt like who he is.

Much like his island, slowik can know, pwrfectly, what his ingredients will do. he knows tyler will be a fawning sycophant.

'you know my husband' cut to husband screaming and running. funny.

margot coming out to the other women. Women as a Serving Class like the chefs are.

THIS IS 13 REASONS WHY FOR CHEFS. artists in general basically.

tyler and slowik are both extremely good chefs.

The Menu could be made into anti-intellectual propaganda with the change of like three lines and a spot of music.

awawa

love my homie dongwater shoutout to homie dongwater

im basically jusst raking notes on the movie lol

i dont realoy get the movie stars role here. oh. nevermind hes rude. hes rude self entitled boy

you have no student loans? fucking DIE

margot's presence is here for the same reason the music is more upbeat and faster than hereditarys. the latter is slow. pacing. haunting. all dread.

slowik. lives in the kitchen. slowiks life IS the kitchen, his art.

elsa is so wuld. shes got exactly the same mmentality as slowik. but her art is in managing customers. her art is in assisting. margot directly ruined *her* work, and thats why she hates margo nore than slowik does.

taking 'margot is a Customer, but a respectful one who likes low art' is a fascist read. 'margot is a fellow artist, who appreciates low art just as much. hm. maybe not.'

but the latter reading isnt supported by the text. because slowik is

ysing humor, menu holds its punches.

the bit with the boat captain. id LOVE it actually. if this was the only joke in the entire movie. its such a vile, dark, fucking MEAN joke. Its so fucking hot. my god. what a brilliant prank.

chefs are a hivemind. horrifying and yet im quite turned on.

i kind of like the idea that margoot is freed because she played out a different scenem she told a stoory with slowik, and he was satisfied. or, to take it more like a stupid person woould, she hacked him by using a different script. i dont like

nah. she olayed a scene with him. an old scene, from when he liked his art more. its nostalgic.

margots speech to slowik is so immensely Low Art Gooood.... Low Art Good High Art Is ShitBad. I want a real Republican Good, Inspirational Fun Good art. idk it feels..... idkm it feels straight out of antiintellectual propaganda.

idk. i just dont like the ending too much. eben if when i lose mysellf in it it feels really good. (i think im hallucinating)

anyway. i. iunno i just wasnt crazy about itm still am not.

okay but the ending where everyone dies.

in skyrim this is a quest that you just see through.

smores are. so good. such a good ending. i loved that scene so fucking much. its exactly the same as the hereditary ending, but one step lower.

margo is here. meh.

the one lady who fucking said thank you????? oh my god.

so beautiful the suicide.... god i love depictions of suicide so much. im soo normal.

[mywitchcultblr]

OMG I love Yaoshi and the path of abundance too! I suppose I just have a thing for misunderstood healers

Just in case this is not me shitting on people's favorite xianzhou husbando or waifu, go simp as much you want, go pull for their banners, this is not an attack on any xiaznhou blogs here or blah blah, nor am I saying "Ahhhh all the xianzhou are irredeemable evilz" whatever, but merely an analysis and critique of HSR narrative:

I hate how abundance is treated in HSR so far, I know all factions in HSR are grey but feels like the xianzhou doesnt get called out enough like the IPC does despite the atrocities they committed and there are arguments in the story telling "oh but the followers of abundance did this and that and OH Yaoshi blesssing are ruining planets" "followers of abundance are monsters and abomination anyway so who cares"

Sure you can argue that just a part of the grey narrative, but I have a feeling so far those arguments against Yaoshi and their followers are used to make the xianzhou more palatable to sell the banner and because space china cannot looks bad or else hardcore main land fans and the CCP government will be angry.

I know abundance followers are not perfect, there's no factions in HSR who are morally pure, but the narrative so far is so imbalanced to the point people on reddit thought Yaoshi and their followers are nothing but evil troublemakers who must be weeded out (fuck reddit seriously its full of moronic edgelord with the worst takes)

Also FYI just because the xianzhou are not happy after they got immortality, doesnt mean other yaoshi immortals followers are unhappy with their life or their planet suffering. In fact the food and water became ever replenish and I'll do anything to get that blessing

I'm not saying everyone in the xianzhou are evil no, but the narrative is so imbalanced and they dont get called out enough. Dan Shu diary can be missed and she ended up as a cartoonish villain.

And I legit cringed so bad when Loucha is called 'abomination of yaoshi' despite the fact he is sentient

And when there are condemnation of Xianzhou/Lan actions, its all hidden behind text that you might missed easily. So its kinda like brushed them under a rug???

While the IPC atrocities are showed blatantly with Boothill story

Herta log mentioned a peaceful snake people who are blessed by Yaoshi but Lan KILLED ALL OF THEM just because yaoshi blessed them and this fact is not told directly but hidden behind a text.

Hoyo write themselves into a corner with the xianzhou, the basis of their faction story telling is grey to dark but they (so far) cannot portray the xianzhou as villainous or in a more honest way that will make this faction, obviously not honourable or good guys right?

Like this faction is actually more grey more darker but a lot of fans doesnt seems to grasp it? And I have seen some of them acted SHOCKED when I pointed that nah... Xianzhou is not morally good faction. (0 factions in HSR are morally good and pure) Because hoyo fans are notorious for their lack of reading comprehensions and this faction is portrayed as very favourable rn, because like i said china coded country cannot looks bad *rolls eyes*

You can't have your cake and want to eat it too.

Hoyo should have made the Xianzhou a chill, neutral faction like Liyue. I legit quit HSR during boothill banner, after I pulled him and find out another world is yet another xianzhou ship I just... Give up.

Not necessarily because I think everything will be awful or all xianzhou are irredeemable but like... I can't stand the narrative imbalance anymore and as Yaoshi simp I just can't stand it no more.

Maybe I'll return in version 10.0 when we finally see Yaoshi planet but if hoyo still paint Yaoshi and their followers as 'EvIL whO ShoULD be RIghtFULLy EraDICATed" I will fucking boycott Hoyo

I had a philosophical awakening because of yaoshi as well, that led to "yeah i dont think immortality is bad, and if there's a way for me to get it i will take the pill of eternal life" so yeah there's that

[differentcoloredcontacts]

What do you think the class 1b kids think of their own quirks?

This was actually kinda fun to write :>

Not proof read we die like men.

Awase -

He honestly really likes his quirk. I like to think awase grew up around welders so when he got his quirk as a kid, his family was ecstatic <3 he still thinks back to his parents reaction to him getting his quirk today.

Sen -

Hes kinda neutral about it. Thats all I got for his bitchass (i love him sm but my brain is drawing a blank lmaoo)

Kamakiri -

He says he doesn't care for it but he really likes his quirk. The blades being able to come out of any part of his body + how they can change in shape makes his quirk really versatile.

Kuroiro -

He loves his quirk. Its dark and edgy just like him and he can make so many references to the darkness because of it. Lmaoo

Kendo -

When she was a kid she didnt really like her quirk, but as she grew older she learned to like it more and now she really has a lot of fun with it.

Kodai -

Shes pretty neutral about her quirk. Other people like how well it works with others but at the same time her quirk isnt that versatile.

Komori -

She likes her quirk. She does wish it was a little more versatile tho because theres only so much you can do with growning mushrooms on people. (She still powerful asf tho)

Shiozaki -

She really likes her quirk. It represents a good balance between her interests and her religion. (Gardening + the thorn crown jesus wore)

Shishida -

Hes pretty neutral about it. He likes how it can be used in battle but overall he doesnt really have an opinion.

Shoda -

He does kinda wish he was able to do more on his own but overall he does like how helpful he can be for others. Hes more on the positive side about his quirk overall <3

Pony -

She really loves her quirk but sometimes she forgets that she has giant ass horns on her head and they get caught on something and send her reeling backwards. (Only when that happens does she hate her quirk but she forgets about it in like 5 minutes or so)

Tsubaraba -

When he was a little kid I think he liked it a lot less because he didnt have as much lung compasity (idk how to spell it lol) but now that hes trained for it he can do a lot more with it. :)

Tetsutetsu -

He has always loved his quirk. Not only does it fit his personality really well but its also really fun for him to use.

Tokage -

She really likes her quirk, it comes with a lot of room for pranking her friends and things like that.

Manga -

He really likes it. When he was in middle school I feel like he got in trouble for using his quirk a lot because he would show it off to little kids to watch their faces light up at how cool it is. (His dream is to make all the kids in the world to smile btw, cannon fact) :)

Honenuki -

He was probably teased for the way he looked when he was a kid (as most people with mutations probably were) but at the same time he was one of the most popular kids in middle school so hes kinda 50/50 about his quirk and its mutation. Overall tho he has a more positive leaning opinion of it.

Bondo -

He was teased for the way he looked as a kid probably (most ppl with mutations were) and it didnt help that he wasn't outgoing and popular but over time he grew to like his quirk. <3

Monoma -

He actually doesn't like his quirk very much, when he was little he liked it but after all the bullying he went through in school he grew to hate it. (He is starting to like it again because of class b)

Reiko -

She adores her quirk. She stays calm and neutral when talking to other people about it bus she secretly really likes showing her quirk off. (Bonus points for fitting her personality)

Rin -

He really likes his quirk and how it ties in with his culture quite a bit but he dislikes how he cant really fight in the cold. Its a dangerous aspect of his quirk but theres nothing he can do.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Hmmmm.... Just to be fair to all the Kangaroos, do you have NSFW headcannons for Ryan and Rena? Asking for science. Yup. Just science, nothing more. Don't look at me 😂

Just to be fair, yes, of course XD

Okay first of all looks!! Ryan and Rena are inverted colours-wise to what Kingston has. So their shoulders and backs in roo form are that golden peanut-butter like colour while their chest and underbelly are the dusky dark brown colour. And in human form they're both blonde. Ryan wears a very similar hat to Kingston, while Rena wears that shade of blue on her eyelids.

Rena:

THE DEFINITION of a switch XD It completely completely depends on her partner as to which roll she takes- but either way she kills. She can be a total dominatrix, knowing exactly how much force to use to make you cum, but also bat her eyelashes and make herself cry if she thinks that'll really get you going more. She loves both rolls, she doesn't have a preference XD (though... with Henry I think she's probably prefer to be the sweet little sub XD )

She's actually not a great dancer?? Its not her strength 😅 She's up to trying (Rena's up for anything), she'll get up on stage and work a pole good enough... but she ain't special. Not star-quality at all 😅 She's enthusiastic, though!! Haha.

HIGH sexual appetite. Like, this woman is always looking to fuck. Which is (part of) why she and Kingston go through their non-monogamous phases; sometimes he just can't keep up with her XD 😅 (or more like doesn't want to. He can-- he's just not quite as constantly horny as she is)

As I've said before- Rena is a femme fatale. A really fucked up, crazy, borderline depressed femme fatale, but a femme fatale all the same. And as such, she can be d a n g e r o u s l y sexy. I feel like I mostly talk about how batshit bonkers crazy she is, but she c a n often appear to be a mysterious and alluring creature. When she wants someone, she gets them. She's got amazing focus.

She w i l l t o t a l l y flash a person if she's dared to XD (so will Kingston).

Rena masturbates. A lot. Yes, she fucks a lot but sometimes she just... eh, doesn't feel like having anyone else there. She goes into moods where she hates everyone and can't bear to have anyone around her. And she's perfectly capable to give herself a mindblowing orgasm! Sometimes she's romantic with herself, lighting candles and taking herself slowly in the bath tub- and sometimes she dissapears into a dark corner or hallways and fingers herself quick and dirty.

Call her mommy!! Call her daddy!! She's so into it. Fuck yes she's your mommy. Who's your daddy?

Ryan:

Ryan is more a lover then a fucker. He wants to treat his girl (or gentleman caller) with respect- but oh my goddddddd he will drive you crazy. You'll want him to use you so bad. And he will... but it'll really take some convincing. And he may have to be a little pissed off, too.

Yes, Ryan may prefer to treat you nicely during sex... but that doesn't mean he's not in control. He will hold you perfectly still in order to eat you out properly, hold you down to pound you, hold your wrists together above your head, etc. He wants you to feel good!!

And- hell yes- Ryan loves to go down on his partner. Genuinly loves it. For his own pleasure as well as theirs. Whether it's a pretty pussy or a nice big cock he's gonna want it in and around his mouth.

Consent king. He taps articles of clothing before taking them off to get your permission, meticulously remembers even in the HOTTEST heat of the moment where you don't like being touched, leans in and waits for you to lean in the rest of the way. Also after-care king.

Very willing to fuck his friends. Kingston? Definitely!! He loves Kingston! If his best buddy wants an orgasm he'll take care of it. Wheezy? That guy is objectively hot as hell and he doesnt mind admitting it- so no he doesn't mind fucking him, at all. Poppy? If she's into it he'll take such good care of her ^^ Show her, platonically, how she should be getting fucked.

If Ryan were in the digital age- he would be e x c e l l e n t at dick pics and videos. No awkward shots of the head, no no. He's good at this. He'll send a picture of his hard cock hugged in tight underpants, he'll send a video of him adjusting this very obvious bulge. He'll tease you to death until finally he sends you a video of him pumping it. He likes dick too- he knows what we wanna see XD 😂

BONUS: Extra Kingston

THESE ARE TOTALLY HIM XDDD

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

how do you imagine zan interacting with each of the dream friends? sorry if thats a question thats asking for a lot.

never apologize for wanting me to write an essay regarding zan partizanne i would do that for a living if i could

nyways luckily zans the one responsible for announcing n showing off the dream friends on twitter so we can have some idea ! of that ! kinda ! as a base !

(note:ive previously answered regarding her feelings on marx, susie n magolor here! so i wont touch on them for this one)

animal trio:its her most brief tweet regarding the announced characters, so i dont think she rly has any thoughts on them ? she doesnt even bother w a nickname, so i imagine shes just neutral on them, lightly bothered rick n kine r notorious for slacking, maybe looks down on them a bit in a "wow my trio is sm professional n stronger than yours." way

gooey:gooey, along side void n the other generals, r the only characters who get nice nickname privileges from zan, in gooeys case v likely she recognized him as part of dark matter n immediately went for expressing appreciation for his holy existence in her peculiar little way (i recall someone pointing out zan has three naming ways for ppl:derogatory, cutesy affectionate n Extreme Respect By Using Full Name.not related just silly aside), i think shes Very Appreciative of gooey n therefore rly affectionate towards him but shes also rly religious abt him.like if a christian met jesus on the street.btw being gooey must be crazy yk nothing abt yourself or your origin n then you find out theres a cult for your species w sacrifices

adeleine/ribbon:throughout her tweets zan.rly goes in on insulting adeleine.like yeah her hairline comments but she keeps bringing up how adeleine seems weak n hides like a little girl (SHES LIKE 12 SHE IS A LITTLE GIRL!!!) n while zan usually atleast acknowledges others fighting skills before claiming shes better, for adeleine she instead insists on constantly bringing her down anyways even when shes surprised at her having a new skill, n her last tweet is literally "hah, im looking forward to facing you!" after commenting ado n ribbon r dancing around adorably, basically she seems to.lowkey hate her LMAO? the adeleine tweets r sooo important to characterizing zan constantly challenging ppl tho !!! she prides her own strength (she even calls herself a battle hardened warrior) a lot n constantly wants to prove it, n hates what she sees as weak or cowardly to the point she seems to lowkey want to teach ppl like that a lesson? so yeah no she has some weird personal one sided beef w adeleine that ado is prob so confused abt, she actually seems to ignore ribbon in her tweets so i imagine she just thinks of her as some extra to ado than a partner to take seriously

honestly shes prob projecting some stuff but thats another post n this is long enough of a paragraph already lol

DMK:not much on the tweets aside from the usual "I CAN BEAT YOU UP" (btw she sounds a bit excited abt it? shes so cute) i dont think she has much interest in him beyond "sounds fun to beat up".shed probably lose btw bc an essential part of zans ego is she does not realize her boss fight is designed to have safe spots bc shes not actually that good at this 🩷

daroach:she doesnt have much to comment but does compare daroachs leadership style to her own, knowing her shes prob gonna get competitive abt that, i cannot see daroach caring back beyond being annoying abt it for fun lol

taranza:so this one is fun bc i think taranza sympathizes w her quite a bit, yk whole "you ever absolutely adore your evil boss n they could not give less of a shit back?" n so he thinks he can help smooth the way into acceptance of trauma bc he did it by himself so he can help n itll be less lonely n hard if he does! n like.its coming from a good place! he rly does want to help.but ultimately their situations r crucially different in what ended up happening (sectonia died n taranza could tell when enough was enough, hyness survived n zan has.no awareness his behavior was bad shes in full acceptance he can treat her like that if he wants to) so what ends up happening is he just gets on her nerves. a lot.bc shes absolutely not anywhere near where taranza started after sectonia died, zan in the tweets acknowledges the similarities between them withhhhh no awareness of what happened to taranza after n honestly knowing her...ego problems shed probably think "what actually happened is you were not good enough, when i would fail lord hyness always found a way to still make me useful.i am simply better than you n you refuse to see it." taranza by some miracle still tries to atleast be friendly w her.he rly does want to help n be there when he can man

[packet-of-staples]

I've been meaning to answer this!! Sorry it took me so long.

So when I say hilariously bad, I mean in like its objectively a bad horror movie but it is also really fun and enjoyable. It may have been the wrong phrasing really. Maybe enjoyably bad would have been better.

I really enjoyed the Fnaf movie!! It was a lot of fun and I loved how the animatronics looked. As a Fnaf fan (though only recently, I wasnt there for the big boom) I enjoyed all of the references. While the decision to make the animatronics more sympathetic and child like was unexpected I actually really enjoyed it!

Matthew Lillard was definately a highlight, even if he wasnt there a lot and I actually really enjoyed Mike's character and his relationship with Abby.

Also the animation on the cupcake was fucking hilarious, that mf was just flying around and going ham on people's limbs. Why did it look like that.

The opening music was absolutely banger and the animation was a great reference to the games. I enjoyed that a lot.

The sets where really awesome, I loved what they did with the lighting in the pizzeria and did I say the animatronics looked awesome? They looked awesome. They looked just like the game counterparts and the way they movied looked so accurate and ough, I love costumes. Spring trap looked fucking awesome too, I really enjoyed art direction in the movie.

But, it is still critically a bad movie, there were quite a few problems that I noticed. The pacing was off in a lot of places. While I liked the scene of the characters playing with the animatronics, it went for far too long and I found myself sitting there wondering when they were going to move on. There also definately should have been more Afton, not just because I like Matthew Lillard in the role but because it felt like spring trap was kind of shoehorned in at the end because they needed that final scene. If you knew nothing about Fnaf or the fact that Lillard was supposed to be Afton, you probably would have no idea he was actually the killer. I feel like there should have been more scenes of Mike and Afton interacting that included hints to who he really is.

I really hated Vanessa. She felt so unnecessary, contradictory and was just kind of annoying. She was apparently supposed to be keeping Mike in the dark but I didnt get that from her at all? Like she was constantly giving him lore, telling him to keep Abby away from the Pizzeria and was just overall helping him? She was also just far too familiar and friendly when they first met it just came off as, is annoying the right word? It definately felt weird. I understand she wanted to try and expose her father, but her actions, I dunno they didn't reflect that all that well? I was never really sure what her motivations were. The fact that she was a cop was so unnecessary too, why did she need to be a police officer? It was never used in any meaningful way. Also she just throws Mike's medication into the river!! Who does that!! She also felt shoehorned in for the sake of having an adult female lead that could be a possible love interest in another movie. Her character could have been so much better and she feels like wasted potential. Maybe I'll make a post about how I would rewrite her...

The whole Aunt trying to take Abby away also felt unnecessary. It doesnt get enough focus on it to feel like an actual threat and it really didn't need to be there. Mike could have just been a struggling guy who had to take the night shift to put dinner on their table. Abby still could have needed to come with him some nights. I honestly dont know why that plot point was in the movie tbh. The plot with the babysitter spying on them was even more pointless and if you wanted a scene where people break into the pizzeria there could have been a better way of doing it. Maybe one of Abby's schoolmates' siblings overhears her talking about the pizzeria decides that would be a great place to vandalize idk.

Mike's dream theory stuff was actually really interesting and cool! I really enjoyed that, but I wish it was focused on more. Maybe it would have been better in a different movie where it was the focus, rather than more of a side thing to the animatronics. The dream stuff did also shelve any use of the cameras in the pizzeria, which upset me because the cams are one of the key elements of the fnaf games. But instead he was just sleeping through scenes where they could have been used. The dreams also could have been a good use to hint at Afton being the killer if it was used a little bit better.

Lastly and most importantly, the movie was not scary. I know it was supposed to be for younger audiences, but still. For a movie based on a game about avoiding getting jumpscared, there were barely any of them! Funnily enough the scariest part of the movie was balloon boy, the jumpscare. I also just didnt feel tense at all? Maybe that was just me.

Despite all of this though, the movie was still enjoyable. It was a movie that I liked! The problems didnt take too much from my viewing experience and as I said I loved the references to the games. The final scene where Afton is getting Fnaf 3ed was fucking awesome! I loved how they incorporated that into the movie! Also he said 'I'll always come back.' Which was very good. Mat Pat was a nice cameo to see too! Loved the theory man. I wish that cassette girl said 'The animatronics do get a little quirky at night.' Though. ALSO THE MARRIONETTE CRUMBS IN THE END CREDITS?? I LOVE MARRIONETTE!!

Enjoyably bad definately reflects how I felt about the movie more than hilariously bad. It was a good bad movie 6/10.