#she does a pretty good job of illustrating everything on the subject

[opinionatedscreamsintothevoid]

You know what I've noticed? People seem really defensive about buying/playing Hogwarts legacy.

Like, they'll plan on buying the game, and any time someone says something to them about it, they'll get offended and start becoming hostile.

For example: A friend of mine(/nbh) mentioned they didn't want people to interact with them if the person bought the game. The guy claimed they were supportive of trans and Jewish people, but when this friend of mine said they weren't comfortable interacting with people who were buying the game regardless, they immediately started saying that my friend was bullying and targeting them.

Honestly, it seems to me that they're trying to convince themselves of it, more than anything else. Considering all that was said was not to interact, which shouldn't affect them at all other than just... not talking to them? What a disproportionate and knee-jerk reaction to give to something as simple as a DNI mention.

[inthemaelstrom]

The Problem of Intent

I think it might be time to publish this again, from my old Dowsing blog.

The Problem of Intent

I woke up this morning thinking about the word “intent,” as I have been off and on for some time. My ruminations finally solidified yesterday after watching an episode of Red Table Talk on Facebook (another reason I haven’t been back here in a while—Facebook, not Red Table Talk). It’s a good episode with Chelsea Handler talking with Jada Pinkett Smith and Adrienne Banfield-Jones about white privilege and parts of it are really painful to watch, mostly the bits from Handler’s documentary, in which she interviews white women, mostly poor and conservative, about whether they think white privilege exists (they don’t). Handler’s own previous dumbassery on the subject is also pretty painful, but she’s getting it right now, and that’s what matters most.

But there’s a point in the video where she tells a story on herself, illustrating her former dumbassery and the person who calls her out said, “It’s not about the intention, it’s about the reception.” A little further on, Handler acknowledges that white people don’t want to learn because it’s uncomfortable to learn not to be an asshole or a bigot to other people, “you gotta go head first into deep things and get in trouble and say stupid things to learn how to say smarter things.” All of which is true. Not just say smarter things, but know smarter things, I would add. The process of learning to be a good ally to people who don’t have your privilege is hard and embarrassing and upsetting. It’s heartbreaking and guilt-making to realize you’ve been walking through the world hurting people (if you’re not a Rethuglican who enjoys that kind of thing; but I digress).

And then Jada Pinkett Smith says that key thing that I’ve been thinking about for ages now: “I think we gotta make some room for people to say stupid stuff sometimes,” because racism has been going on for so long that most of it is unconscious now. People don’t realize they’re being racist unless it’s pointed out to them (and that’s where other white people need to get off their asses; it’s not Black people’s job to do that). She continues, “Not every—you know, not every action is racist.” So while it may feel racist to the object of the action, it may not to the actor and it may not have that intent behind it.

This is why intent matters—also. Not by itself, but in addition to reception. Because if we are doing our damnedest to be a good friend and generous person, to do the right thing, to not be racist, sexist, bigoted, insensitive, ableist, oblivious to the experiences of others, and we fuck up along the way as we inevitably will, a little compassion helps fuel the struggle for everyone. There’s a mental health element to this too, and Handler prefaces her part of the discussion with what seems at first like her irrelevant experiences in therapy to make this point. She spends a long time talking about her own struggles with pain and anger and how realizing that her anger was the result of the pain she was in was the thing that broke her open, finally, and got some real work done. When we’re operating primarily on a foundation of pain (and here I walked away to go make my bed, because, yanno, pain), then the world becomes our enemy. Everyone becomes our enemy. Everyone is out to hurt us, to insult us, to fuck with us, plotting against us to make us miserable, being mean to us. Everything everyone says or does to us that hurts us (and when we’re already in pain, this doesn’t generally take a lot) is intentional. Because people are bad and mean and hurtful and fuck all ya’ll anyway. I hate people.

And that’s clearly bullshit. It feels right when we’re hurting, and damn if there aren’t days when I get up in the morning and look at the news and thinkWhat the ever loving fuck is wrong with you people?about nearly everyone in the world after seeing all the hurt we do each other. But to think the whole world is your enemy, that every person you meet, every friend you make, will ultimately betray and hurt you creates a huge number of problems and solves nothing. First, believing we are somehow important enough for all the individuals in our lives (never mind the rest of the world) to spend their time machinating about how to hurt us is one of the best examples of narcissism I can think of, and utterly delusional. That’s like gaslighting yourself. It’s also an example of flawed perceptions and expectations. It’s our expectations of others, ultimately, that wound us: expecting perfection, expecting an intimate and automatic understanding of our POV, expecting unearned unconditional love, expecting all the attention. Love people as you find them, and if they, in their own pain and rage, hurt you, love them from a distance.

Worse than this, though, is that anticipating injury from other people assures that this is all we’ll ever get from them. Ever. Because everything they do will be an injury to us if we fail to see their intent and their focus. One of the last times my mom came to visit me here in New York, we were walking along the street and she said, in what was clearly a revelatory moment for her, “wow, people are really so focused on themselves that they don’t really pay attention to anyone else.” This was coming from a woman who agonized over what other people might think of her if she went out without looking perfectly dressed, perfectly coiffed, perfectly dignified, who was painfully self-conscious about how her disability made her look. I wish she had had more time to enjoy the liberation of that revelation. Because she was right about that. People are all dealing with their own pain, their own stuff, their own troubles, and hurting or judging you is not a high priority on their to-do list.

Unless they are so wrapped up in their own pain that they are going to lash out first, and there are some people who are that hurt, that broken. It’s good to remember that it’s still really not about you in those circumstance; if they are hurting and judging you, what they see in you that they hate is almost always what they hate or feel insecure about themselves. Those folks have a lot of work to do that you can’t do for them; all you can do is wish them well and get out of range. Because in their pain, they create more of it. This is what intentional, unexamined and institutional racism and sexism does to people. It creates a cycle of pain that needs work to be broken.

Again, this is why intent matters. If I’m hurting you out of maliciousness that’s one thing; I need a slap upside the head and a boot in the rear. If I’m hurting you out of my own pain, that’s more understandable but still not excusable; I’ve got some work to do on myself, then, and owe you an apology and an effort to do better. But if I’m hurting you by accident, because I’m learning to do better and still making mistakes, cut me a break please. Work with me. Call me out, by all means. I can’t learn if I don’t know I’ve screwed up. If it’s really egregious, don’t spare your anger. I can’t rightly ask you to do that and I probably deserve it. But don’t use my mistake to make judgments about what kind of person I am at the core, because then you’re doing the same thing that bigots do. If you think I’m the kind of person who would intentionally hurt others, then we already have a problem of perception and reception on your end. And that’s bad intent.

[thechaoticdruid]

~My Tav for roleplay and story purposes~

Name: Winnie (Winnifred)

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Class: Druid (Her favorite form being the direwolf. I also like to imagine she has some doggy-like characteristics because of it lol), she's also multi-classing as a wizard for reasons.

Age: 23

Race: Human

Hair: Reddish brown

Eyes: Pink

Height: 5'3

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral (With a bit of a good lean I suppose)

Love interest: Astarion

Backstory: Winnifred was raised deep in a hidden forest village, amongst her fellow druids. Her grandmother was the archdruid of their circle and took to raising her after Winnie's parents went missing (aka the likely died horribly on an adventure.) Winnie lived a peaceful, but boring life in the village for thirteen years until eventually it was raided by goblins and everyone she'd known and loved was slaughtered before her very eyes. Winnie was captured by the horde's leader, a strange drow wizard who only allowed her to live because he thought she'd be the perfect test subject for his 'experiments'. She never learned his name, but since the event his face has haunted her nightmares. Winnie remained his lab rat for weeks following the raid. Eventually however her suffering came to an end when a band of adventurers came to her rescue. Apparently they were old friends of the family though she had never once met any of them. They freed her from the prison she'd been held in before setting fire to the goblins camp, killing every last one of the circle's murderers....Well all except for the drow...

Sometime after that Winnie was taken in by Arva, a half elf who just so happened to be the leader of her rescuers. She brought Winnie back to her group's hideout in Baldur's Gate's under city and for ten years Winnie learned how to survive on the streets, using some not so heroic skills Arva had taught her....

•Just stuff about Winnie•

Winnie is weird.

She rarely takes anything seriously and will usually use humor as a way to keep herself sane as she puts it.

She's definitely not a saint but there are some big no nos for her when it comes to morals. No harming innocents, children, or animals.

Self righteous rich tits can suck it tho

"Think you can just spit on me? Huh!? I'll bite your fucking ankles!"

Winnie is an insomniac with permanent raccoon eyes. Shh...don't say anything she gets self conscious!

She has really low self esteem when it comes to her appearance.

Growing up all the other children in her village used to call her ugly a lot. Pretty much all of them aside from a gnome child named Demi.

Winnie liked Demi. Demi used to call her tall.

Winnie isn't particularly romantically experienced. Mostly due to her low self esteem and urge to faint or run away screaming when around someone she finds attractive.

Astarion is her first everything really.

Moving on from that Winnie has a bit of an obsession with cheese. It's like her favorite thing ever.

If you have any she will steal it.

Her handwriting is awful.

She has a habit of pretending to be dumber than she actually is to throw people off.

She identifies herself as being interested in men exclusively, but if I'm honest she does have a bicurious streak.

Mostly because Karlach once asked her what she would do if Astarion was a girl.

Karlach is like her best friend, but don't tell Star he'll get jealous. Shhh...

Has a little plant in a small pot that she affectionately calls Vern.

Currently writing erotic Bloodweave fanfiction titled 'Blood Mage' as a side job to afford Astarion's costly wardrobe. Shhh.... don't tell Gale.

Likes to draw exaggerated doodles in her journal a lot. Usually illustrating important events in her life.

She often dwells on something she remembered one of the older druids saying before the raid. The elder druid described Winnie as "a weed amongst the flowers."

Winnie used to flip the old lady off behind her back all the time.

Will probably be updated and expanded on. Feel free to ask questions. I might make a separate one of these for my Durge .

IMPORTANT: While I am open to doing a little roleplay here and there I'm only doing it with users above the age of 18. Anyone without their age on their blog will be blocked or ignored. Also I'm not comfortable roleplaying the canon characters at this time so don't ask please.

[adistiany]

STUDIO CABANA: THE TWO SIDES OF LOVE

When we are in love, we will think it is the best feeling ever. The fuzzy feeling that tickles in the stomach, the warm burning sensation on the face and neck that we cannot control, and the skip of our shoes when we walk towards the person who has our heart in their palms.

That’s what Yukari Maki feels for Yuusuke Kusaka nowadays as she steps the stairs to the school’s rooftop. There, she sees how divine Kusaka is in her eyes; his features that are accentuated by the sun, the soft locks of his raven hair sway with the breeze, and, most importantly, when his eyes dart and lock eyes with her, she swears she catches sight of how his dark irises are glimmering like pearls from this distance.

When Yukari Maki falls in love, she falls hard to the point where she scrapes her knees for falling too hard. On the ground, she’s bleeding and winching in pain, not from the fall but from the realization that her heart will never beat in rhyme and sync with his, for his heart is clutched by another woman. This is a story of an unrequited love….

Studio Cabana is an on-going shoujo manga series written and illustrated by Uma Agri. The series was first released on 24 March 2021 and has been serialized in Pixiv Sylph magazine, published by ASCII Media Work. As for now, the manga has six volumes published in Japan, and sadly, the series has not been licensed in English yet.

The story of Studio Cabana begins with a diligent high school girl named Yukari Maki who keeps scolding Yuusuke Kusaka, the rumored delinquent classmate, for skipping class and school duties. One day, she uncovers that he is a member of a band when she follows him into a music studio called Studio Cabana, and she also discovers that Kusaka writes and sings a love song with such a lovely, melancholic singing voice. From that day on, she is enthralled right away by his presence, voice, and heart.

This manga doesn’t deserve my 3.5 stars rating because I still can’t get over the story and characters in it. I believe I have to change it to a higher number like 4 to 4.5 stars. Oh, but I digress. Studio Cabana is a shoujo manga that hits the nail on the head for me; something I’d been craving but didn’t know what it is before. It’s full of drama and pretty complex for a shoujo. Also, it’s a slow burn romance with a focus on the characters relationship and its development.

Studio Cabana does a great job of blending typical shoujo elements with dark and mature tones. We have soft and funny interactions between the protagonist and the male lead, and on the other side, we see the complicated love affair between the male lead and another woman. It’s like, one is a dynamic of sincerity and welcomeness, and the other is poisonous and destructive. One is showing the beauty of the world; the other is isolating the person from the world. One is pure love, and another is toxic love. To see two different sides of love in a love triangle is not something that I expected in a manga.

To shoujo demographics, love is sacred, love is everything that brings good and happiness. When a manga presents that love can’t be all sunshine and rainbows, and love isn’t shown in a perfect or idealized way, that shatters the concept of love in shoujo, in my opinion. It's not every day to see the portrayal of love realistically. In the real world, love can make people greedy, blind, and dependent on it. It’s such an interesting topic because love, as an abstract feeling, can be a very complex concept for humans. This manga addresses a deep subject that can be quite handful to write, but I’m glad the mangaka does it well.

As Nicole mentioned on her blog romancemangarecs.com in her review: “…Love isn’t romanticized in Studio Cabana. We see some difficult relationships, manipulative personalities, tons of emotion and struggles among the characters, and of course an unrequited love. The author explores a really important topic about relationships and the difficulty of leaving emotionally abusive partners.” I couldn’t agree more.

Obviously, the intention of the author is not always making it a sad, tragic, angsty love story. We get to see the main characters having their sweet moments together as they’re slowly progressing their friendship. It’s also a story about self-discovery, self-acceptance, and self-improvement. One needs to learn and grow before they can break free from toxic patterns and unhealthy relationship dynamics. One needs to learn and grow before they open themselves up to new possibilities in love and understand the true meaning of it.

All in all, Studio Cabana is a manga that surpasses my expectations. It's a compelling series that keeps me interested and captivated by the plot, themes, and characters. I can’t wait to see more of it, and I’m glad I discovered this manga. At the end of the day, it’s always stories that I didn’t expect to love!

[historyhermann]

Otaku Elf Review

Otaku Elf, also known as Edomae Erufu, is a fantasy comedy anime. It is based on a seven-volume manga illustrated and written by Akihiko Higuchi. Directed by Takebumi Anzai, it is produced by C2C, a studio founded in April 2006. This post will have spoilers.

Reprinted from Pop Culture Maniacs and Wayback Machine. This was the thirty-fourth article I wrote for Pop Culture Maniacs. This post was originally published on June 5, 2023.

This series focuses on a sixteen-year-old named Koito Koganei (voiced by Yuka Ozaki). She becomes a shrine maiden, known as miko, at a shrine in Takamini after the death of her grandfather. As a result, she becomes the caretaker of Eldarie "Elda" Irma Fanomene (voiced by Ami Koshimizu). Elda is an immortal and beautiful elf summoned from another world. Koito encounters challenges as Elda is an otaku and hikikomori/shut-in who fears going outside the shrine following an unpleasant interaction many years prior. Even so, she attempts to get Elda to enjoy life outside the shrine.

Originally, I had not been planning to write a review of this series because I'm already reviewing nine other series this season, either about magical girls (Soaring Sky! Pretty Cure and Tokyo Mew Mew New), legendary warriors (Unicorn Warriors: Eternal), VTubers (Kizuna no Allele), a yuri-themed cafe (Yuri Is My Job!), golf girls (Birdie Wing), idols (Oshi No Ko), or other subjects (Alice Gear Aegis Expansion and Skip and Loafer). One motivation for writing this review was because of Sailor Moon, which I'm currently watching, for the first time. It features Rei Hino as a shrine maiden, when she isn't Sailor Mars.

The animation style, comedy of an immortal elf being an otaku meeting a normal person, and the centrality of food, drew me in. The latter is primarily grounded in the cooking by Koyuzu (voiced by Hitomi Sekine), the younger sister of Koito. The same can be said for Koito and Elda's stories often becoming intertwined. Also, there are characters which are portrayed as "cute", like Koito's friend Koma Sakuraba (voiced by Haruka Aikawa).

I liked that every episode of Otaku Elf has some story about past Japanese culture, especially from the Edo period. Of course, Elda does all she can to impress Koito no matter what. This is despite the fact that although she has a laptop, she doesn't know how to use a cell phone. When she does use it, she texts so much that she angers the spirits! Elda does not know everything, however, and doesn't pretend she is all-knowing. She is wise, but not omniscient.

Yordeilla "Yord" Lila Fenomenea (voiced by Rie Kugimiya) and Himawari Kohinata (voiced by Teru Ikuta) are a good addition to the series. Yord is a dark-skinned elf, who is bad at directions, and has an absurd rivalry with Elda over an equivalent of tic-tac-toe. Dr. Akane Sasaki (voiced by Yumi Uchiyama) was similarly a positive character. In fact, she is shown in the seventh episode with Kadoi, getting drunk at a bar, with both of them as an interesting pair of characters together.

There is undeniable yuri subtext in this series, specifically between Koito and Elda, especially shown in the fifth episode. Otaku Elf has a degree of intimacy it can turn to and expand in each episode. As such, the series centers on the importance of spending time with others above everything else. In that way, Otaku Elf is special.

In marked contrast to Birdie Wing, the value of studying, and education as an extension, is emphasized through Koito's intense studying in the sixth episode. The importance of taking breaks and not over-extending oneself is an interrelated theme.

I like the slice-of-life nature of Otaku Elf. This makes it different from magic-themed series such as Healer Girl and Management of a Novice Alchemist. Similarly, it is nothing like recent slice-of-life anime. The latter includes Let's Make a Mug Too, The Aquatope on White Sand, Teasing Master Takagi-san, and Laid-Back Camp.

The series differs from YuruYuri, Gabriel DropOut, Is the Order a Rabbit?, Kin-iro Mosaic, Non Non Biyori, K-On!, and Azumanga Daioh, in the same genre. Elda is a living history resource, who is good at origami, but can have awful nightmares. There's occasional casual alcoholism. But, it isn't as present as it is in Bocchi the Rock!. The latter features a sick bassist named Kikuri Hiroi, who spends most of her money on booze.

The seventh Otaku Elf episode was one of the best in the entire series. It primarily focused on Koyuzu and her desire to spend more time with her sister, Koito. Some of the funniest sequences in the episode was when she charmed people in a wholesale market so she could get fish for free.

The latter episode was only rivaled by the eighth episode. It focuses on Elda meeting another elf, named Haira (voiced by Mamiko Noto). Some of the best parts were having the historical remembrance shown in anime style resembling wood block art.  The episode features another miko, named Komari, the same age as Koito. Haira is an elf with beauty only matched by Elda. She is older than Elda and Yolde, treating them as her younger sisters. The episode implied Elda is a lesbian, as she said she liked all the teahouse girls during the Edo period.

By the end of the episode, it is clear that the series is uncritical of the fact that Komari was a social influencer and that Haira was a gambler. Even though Komari was critical of Haira for gambling, she tells Koioto that if Haira is doing what she likes, it is ok. On the one hand, this makes sense as Komari had been with Haira since she was young, allowing her to take candid photographs.

On the other, Otaku Elf, by saying that Haira's desire to be a gambler is ok, implies it is a non-issue and downplays it as a problem. Most gambling is prohibited in Japan. There are exceptions for some motor sports and horse racing. The latter is something that Haira said she wanted to do during the episode.

There is an ample culture of gambling in the island nation. The island has a difficult relationship with it. There is inconsistency between reality and law. Some have pushed to completely legalize gambling across the island. Even so, some people, and groups, have objected to expanded gambling in Osaka. They have argued that crime and addiction (to gambling) will rise as a result. Those caught gambling illegally in Japan can face fines or jail time. This hasn't stopped gambling from becoming pervasive, nor the millions afflicted with gambling addiction. The series could have done a better job with this topic.

Despite the problematic approach to gambling, the series often highlights the importance of remembering the past and preserving it. In the ninth episode, Elda reads a manga that has been published for over 30 years. She reorganizes her room due to a ceiling leak (with the help of Koito) and finds an old videotape. Often series only focus on new technology. They act like anything deemed "analog" isn't worth bringing up. In some cases, there is a blend of the "old" and "new". In the case in Steven Universe, a videotape of the protagonist's mother (Rose Quartz) plays an important role in the series.

Similarly in Otaku Elf, Koito sees a videotape for the first time, and goes to her grandmother, who has an old Betamax player, excited to watch a tape of something recorded from before she was born. She learns that her mother, shown on the tape, was also a miko of Elda as well! In a typical scene, Elda embarrasses Koito. She thinks she will be picked up in a "bridal style" pose and runs away as a result. The latter is part of the ongoing yuri undertones of this series, even though Elda and Koito have more of a master-student relationship than anything that is romantic.

Otaku Elf is much more than a series with endearing character dynamics. It has a protagonist (Elda) who deeply cares about the town she lives in, a neighborhood of Tokyo, I believe. Unlike some other anime this season, such as Alice Gear Aegis Expansion, there's no fan service. Nor are there any characters which are "one-off jokes". In fact, the series, in some ways, counts as an isekai. It has a "genuineness and pleasantness" which evades many anime these days.

The show's animation studio is known for producing over 16 series, including two I'm familiar with: Hitori Bocchi no Marumaru Seikatsu (based on a manga by Katsuwo who also wrote Mitsubishi Colors) and Wandering Witch: The Journey of Elaina. None of the story elements in either of those series are present in this series.

The voice cast of Otaku Elf is just as strong as the show's opening song. Ami Koshimizu, who voices Elda, also voices the caddy of Aoi in Birdie Wing (Amane Shinjо̄), Mizuki Nakahara in Lycoris Recoil, Makoto Kino/Sailor Jupiter in Sailor Moon Crystal, Shiori in Princess Connect! Re:Dive, Yang Xiao Long in RWBY: Ice Queendom, and Konomi Yurikawa in Yurikuma Arashi. Yuka Ozaki, the voice of Koito, has lent her voice as Asuka Toyama in BanG Dream!, while Hitomi Sekine, voice of Koyuzu, voiced characters in Teasing Master Takagi-san, Konosuba, and Ms. vampire who lives in my neighborhood.

Haruka Aikawa, the voice of Koma, previously voiced a character in Shikimori's Not Just a Cutie. Mamiko Noto, voice of Haira, voiced a supporting character named Kazuki Kosuda in B Gata H Kei - Yamada’s First Time, Hakko in Canaan, Elsa in Gunslinger Girl, Kanon's mother in Love Live! Superstar!!, Shimako Toudou in Maria Watches Over Us, Gin Todo in A Place Further Than the Universe, and Saki Arima in Your Lie in April, and many other roles.

All in all, Otaku Elf is highly relatable to the hundreds of thousands of shut-ins in Japan, which the government believes is a "new social issue", and those elsewhere in the world. It might even draw in an audience from anyone who is living at "home" with their parents, or others living a "hermit-like" existence, being social recluses from society.

In any case, I recommend this series highly. I hope that it receives a second season, even though that is unlikely considering the last nine series by the same studio have not been renewed. Often, companies try and limit corporate risk by planning out each season for only 11-13 episodes. If the show is a success, "additional seasons can be ordered" as noted by Justin Sevakis.

Otaku Elf is currently streaming on HIDIVE.

© 2023 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.

[stina-is-a-punk-rocker]

jacqueline wilson’s ‘love lessons’

tw: abuse, pedophilia, characters making Bad Decisions, long unnecessary spiel about my childhood like I’m running a recipe blog

It’s funny how loads of the authors who helped shaped me into the vaguely humanoid being I am today have names beginning with the letter ‘J’; Judy Blume, Jeff Kinney, John Green, J.K. Rowling (yikes, I know) … and Jacqueline Wilson.

I’ve never owned a Jacqueline Wilson book of my own; they were always borrowed from a friend, or from a friend of a friend, or from a friend of a cousin- you get the gist. Her books, for me, come with an entire aesthetic: something reminiscent of yard sales, and reading under the covers with a flashlight, and being lulled into a false sense of security by the deceptively innocent Nick Sharratt illustration on the cover until someone’s best friend gets mowed over.

So I knew what I was getting into when I picked up Love Lessons. I knew this was going to be Fucked Up; and boy, was I right.

(Here’s the part where I warn you about spoilers.)

From an abusive dad to creepy child predator teachers to slut-shaming and victim blaming, this book has it all.

The main character is Prudence ‘Prue’ King, who is homeschooled at the beginning of the book, along with her sister, Grace. Their parents remain rooted in the early twentieth century, and are very strict about- well, everything. No TV, no computers, not a single mobile phone in the house; their clothing worse than the orphans’ from Annie; and their father remains distinctly distrustful of modern institutions like the school and the hospital; and so on, and so forth.

Daddy King suffers a stroke, and has to be taken to the hospital. Meanwhile, Mrs. King (a floppy, spineless woman who lives in fear and awe of her, frankly horrid, husband) sends the girls to school, behind the then invalid Mr. King’s back. Cue Prue and Grace being the freakshows of the school, with their strange clothing and overbearing mother.

Grace manages to make friends, but Prue remains alone. The kids are dicks, the teachers are dicks… well, all of them but one. And that’s the art teacher, Mr. Raxberry (I just couldn’t get over that name; it seems like something you’d name a mythical plant from Pixie Hollow or some shit. I’m assuming it isn’t an actual name, since the spelling & grammar check on my computer doesn’t seem to recognize it), or Rax, as he’s called.

Oh, yeah; Prudence’s favorite subject in school is art, and she’s a whiz at it. This is relevant, because reasons.

And here’s where stuff gets murky. Prue develops a crush on Rax- which is perfectly normal. I’m definitely no stranger to it; I’ve had crushes on my teachers, my mum admitted she used to think one of her professors was cute. And yeah, as I grew older, I grew out of those crushes and now have a markedly more refined taste in men (unless he’s 5’ 7’’, born in ’97 and named Bang Chan, I don’t want him); and my mum married my dad, so I’m assuming she did, too. Admittedly, now that my dad teaches at a university, it’s icky to think that there might be students who have crushes on him- but I digress.

My point is, loads of us have liked our teachers. But I doubt the majority of us have acted on it.

And Prue actively showing her interest in Rax isn’t the worst part. That’s a spot reserved for Rax reciprocating her feelings.

Guess Ezra Fitz and Ms. Grundy (yes, I watched Riverdale; please don’t cancel me) have a new addition to the Creep Club.

The age of consent in the UK is 16, if I’m not mistaken. Prue is 14. She’s just barely become a teenager, and she’s being preyed upon.

Because that is what Rax is. He’s a predator; he preys upon this vulnerable girl who’s never been in a relationship before- hell, she’s never even had friends- her father’s abusive, so she obviously doesn’t have the best experience when it comes to men- she’s unpopular at school, with the students and staff alike- and he lures her in. I don’t care how bloody nice he is to Sarah, or what a good dad he is (well, he’s really not, seeing as he cheated on the mother of his children WITH A BLOODY FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD CHILD)- the guy’s a fucking pedophile.

I was staunchly stuck at a yellow light with him; like, sure, maybe Prue thinks he’s flirting with her- maybe she’s looking at this all wrong, she doesn’t know how relationships work- see, he drew a picture of Sarah, too, in his secret notebook- Prue’s just reading into this too much- up until he says he loves her.

Dude. Humbert fucking Humbert. She’s fourteen, for Christ’s sake, and you’re married. You have two children. She’s a child. She’s probably closer to your son’s age than she is to yours.

(This is the part where I bury my head in my pillow. And scream. Extensively, and with passion.)

The book does make some genuinely good commentary on slut-shaming and victim blaming and abusive parenting. And on one hand, I can see why so many people find issue with the romanticization of the when I kissed the teacher trope- but I can defend it, too.

The book is in Prue’s perspective. She thinks she’s in love with Rax, so obviously, she’s not going to throw in some valuable moral at the end- because she’s too young and inexperienced to think otherwise. And sadly, there are loads of instances of child abuse that go unreported because the victims just don’t know better.

What I have issue with is how the school dealt with it, ultimately. Prudence, a child, has to deal with the consequences of the actions of a literal child predator. Sure, Rax ‘clears his name’ by cooking up some bullshit story about how it was only a crush and he didn’t encourage it, but you’d think other adults would know better and, oh, I dunno- dig deeper into it, instead of blaming it on a child?

“She says you told Mr. Raxberry you loved him and he held you in his arms and fondled you.”

Which Prudence denies, because, again, she doesn’t know better. She then goes on to say that they did nothing wrong. To which the adult speaking to her, in this case, the principal, Miss Wilmott, goes on to say:

“I’m not sure that’s entirely true… I feel that there are some aspects of your friendship that could be considered inappropriate.”

FYI, lady, he kissed her- multiple times (not that kissing her once makes him any more redeemable), and told her he loved her, and admitted to fantasizing about running away with her and leaving his family behind. Fun fact: do you know Prudence is underage?

You’d think that Miss Wilmott would maybe give this whole fiasco a favorable ending, but it turns out she listens to school gossip;

“I haven’t been at all happy with your attitude. You don’t seem to understand how to behave in school. I’ve heard tales of unsuitable underwear and then a silly romance with one of the boys in your class. I feel that in the space of a few short weeks you’ve made rather a bad name for yourself… I don’t know whether you intend to be deliberately insolent but you certainly come across as an unpleasantly opinionated and arrogant girl… I can’t help feeling that you’ll be much better off elsewhere. I shall try hard to engineer a suitable transfer to another school.”

And then she comes out with this gem:

“If you won’t leave, then I shall have to ensure that Mr. Raxberry finds another position.”

“No, you can’t do that! He’s a brilliant teacher.”

“You should have thought of that before you started acting in this ridiculous and precocious manner. If I were another kind of headteacher, I would have Mr. Raxberry instantly suspended. There could even be a court case. He would not only lose his job, he could find himself in very serious trouble. Did you ever stop to think about that?”

Girlboss, gaslight and gatekeep. The fucking trifecta.

Also, by ‘another kind of headteacher’, does she mean the kind of headteacher WHO DOESN’T LET CHILD PREDATORS ROAM FREELY WITHIN THEIR HALLS?

This bitch is out here blaming a child, a literal child, for the crimes of an adult man.

The only time Prue seems aware of the fact that Mr. Raxberry is actually a very shit person is her immediate thoughts that follow after she tells Miss Wilmott she’ll take the fall;

I so wanted to save darling Rax- and yet why hadn’t he wanted to save me? Had he told Miss Wilmott it was all my fault, that I’d got a ridiculous crush on him, that I’d made ludicrous advances to him? … I wanted to tell this horrible, patronizing woman how hungrily he’d kissed me, but I couldn’t do it. I loved him. I had to help him.

NO, SWEETHEART; YOU MOST DEFINITELY DO NOT.

And maybe I’m going overboard with all these excerpts, but here’s what Rax has to tell Prue, after school, following her expulsion:

“I let her think the worst of you, the best of me, just to save my skin. I said it was ridiculous talking about a love affair between us. I said you simply had a crush on me, and that I was just trying to be kind… You were brave enough to stand up to me and force me to acknowledge the truth… I love you… That’s why I had to take a risk and see you this one last time. I didn’t want you to think I didn’t care… Every night when I close my eyes, I’ll think of us together in this car and how badly I wanted to drive off with you. I’ll imagine us walking hand in hand at the water’s edge… I wish I wasn’t such a coward.”

(I burrow into the pillow further. I’m trying to suffocate myself.)

And that’s where I think Wilson went wrong. Sure, Prudence getting expelled for something that was completely out of her hands is unfair, and horrible, but it’s real. That shit can happen.

What’s bad is showing Rax in a positive light after all that. If only Wilson had written Rax to not be the Romeo he thinks he is. Make him ignore Prudence, throw her under the bus in front of her face, instead of this star-crossed lovers bullshit it’s made out to be. Show your younger audience that Rax is not a good man. I’ve got a little over two weeks left for my twentieth; I can see why this is unacceptable. But I was a little younger than Prue when I watched Pretty Little Liars, and my only gripe with Aria dating Ezra was that Noel Kahn was so much cuter.

It shows when you scroll down the Goodreads reviews; you’ve got adults giving it one or two stars, and teenagers giving it four or five, with their biggest complaints being, “but Toby was cuter!!!”

Other non-pedophilia related complaints regarding the book include: Prudence being unlikable- which I didn’t really notice, considering she reacted to some people way better than I would’ve, even at 19 (which probably says a lot more about me than it does about Prue, but oh well). Still, Prudence obviously isn’t the most prudent of people- and again, she’s fourteen. Look me in eye and tell me you weren’t an arsehole at that age (unless you’re fourteen now, in which case, I assure you that you’ll look back on yourself someday and go ‘wtf was I thinking’). Bringing up Toby’s dyslexia in an argument was low, though.

There were people who thought the Kings’ almost-Amish lifestyle was exaggerated and unrealistic, but I assure you, it may very well be real. There are 8 billion people on the world- it’s fair to assume that several of them are complete weirdos.

Grace was a sweet character, and I adored her with every fiber of my being. As were her friends Iggy and Figgy. Honestly, I would’ve loved a book about Iggy, Figgy and Piggy’s (mis)adventures too.

[luminous-studiess]

I’m considering going into law as a career path but I’m not sure...do you have any insight or advice?

hi!!!!!  uh ok several thoughts coming from someone who struggled with “is this really what i want” before going into law school/the first three semesters. under the cut because this is LONG.

1. the first question you may want to ask yourself is whether or not you have enough interest (note: not passion.... more on that later) in law as a subject to study it for 3-4 years. are you updated on current events, both in your country, and abroad? do you have an idea of what law school in your country is like? why do you want to go into law? admittedly these are questions you yourself have to answer, to see if it really is worth it. the why is very important, because this may be the only thing that sustains you when you’re wading through coursework and dealing with scary professors and getting cold-called. if you think that it’s something you’d be interested enough in to put in admittedly a lot of time, emotion, and suffering into, then that’s great!! ok. this may tie into the next thing you have to ask yourself: 2. do you have an interest in/or are willing to learn the skills which are required in law school and beyond?  law students are required to read huge piles of text, be able to digest it, retain it, and then regurgitate it both in class discussions and in exams. this means that you need to at least be a diligent, patient reader, an efficient and clear writer, and a strong speaker.  in your later years, you will have to draft pleadings and memoranda. this requires extremely sharp writing skills, logic, research abilities, and (weirdly enough), organizational skills. you need the patience to make an argument for a client, usually crafted out of documents and legal provisions and mountains of cases.  you don’t have to be all these things right away-- my classmates and i, in our first semesters, had no idea what was going on, and nobody knew how to speak up when called without panicking or stammering or (in my case) nearly crying. but you learn those things in time. are you willing to put in the effort? then you can do it, absolutely. 3. are you ready for the lifestyle law school requires?  i’ll say this right away. it can be one of the most unhealthy environments you’ve ever been in. i’ve mentioned the heavy coursework-- it depends again on where you’re studying, but the course load can usually vary from 10-20 cases (say... 5 to 100 pages at most per case?) per class, plus a handful of laws and articles. you have to have read these -- skimmed, briefed, digested, taken notes -- and then be ready for class discussions, where you could get cold-called.  this entails pretty much an entire life which revolves around studying. it does get easier, and it does get lighter (in the sense that life does come back), but the first semester or so of law school will be completely about trying to chase every deadline, every requirement, and yes, every bit of sleep you can catch. the actual environment can be difficult as well-- in some law schools, the learning atmosphere can be tense, to say the least: the professors can be quite strict, if not downright harsh, and you can spend entire class sessions getting grilled through the socratic method, aka an endless barrage of questions you may not know the answer too. the culture shock coming in is pretty hard as well. suddenly, you’re grouped with so many brilliant, hard-working, eloquent people that it becomes easy to doubt yourself. from experience, law school took such a toll on my physical and mental health (poor sleep, poor eating habits, bad class performance and being afraid of the professors) that i was very close to quitting. however....... IT GETS BETTER. okay, hopefully, i haven’t scared you away. now make these considerations: 4. if you have a strong reason for wanting to go to law school, and getting through it, then even the hard parts become worthwhile. initially i wanted to go to law school because i was mildly intrigued by how i could use the speaking and writing skills i got from my college degree. after becoming quickly disillusioned by my first few weeks, i had to rethink why i would want to stay. one reason, admittedly, is that the promise of a well-paying job can keep you working through everything despite all the pain, suffering, and embarrasment. that sounds really covetous ngl but...... i once mentioned on this blog that i wanted to work in something i wasn’t extremely, wildly passionate about, so that i would have the money and security to fund my real passions. living, and living well is so expensive. not all of us can work in things we absolutely, completely love, so if there’s an opportunity to sustain yourself well, so that you can keep doing the things you like in the side, then it is an opportunity worth pursuing. another reason, at least for me, is that while one aspect of law and lawyering that most ppl see is the “jeff winger” “harvey specter” sleazy lawyer aspect, admittedly, a lot of the law is embedded in the things we do, and the rights we possess. if two people are fighting over a piece of land, they turn to the law to resolve it. if someone is being arrested without cause, then it’s the law that’s being disregarded. you do have the potential to help many people, just by your knowledge of basic civil rights, to some labor laws, to property rights. you don’t necessarily have to work pro bono all the time, but you can accrue enough knowledge to help individuals who don’t know the law as well, and as deeply as you could. and that in itself can keep you going-- you know that you could keep someone out of jail, or help them claim support, or protest unfair labor practices.  5. the journey can be more beautiful than you expect. ok this sounds like live, laugh, love bullcrap but to illustrate: i was completely afraid and lost during my first year of law school, but i had the total luck of becoming blockmates with smart, funny, kind people who became my family in law school. we studied together, went drinking at the end of the sem, had lunch and dinner and breakfast while reading and talking and fighting and teaching each other things. i know for a fact that some of these people will be my bridesmaids, and people i’ll contact for work, and to hang out with 10 years in the future. these people keep you going. as much as i mentioned terror professors, there are also the ones who taught so well, and gave me so much inspiration through the sheer passion they had for the law. there are professors who spend the entire day talking one-on-one to the students to check on how they are. i broke down in front of two professors after class in my first year-- the first one awkwardly comforted me, and the second pulled me into the faculty reading room to have a good, private cry. she handed me a tissue afterwards. you have the opportunity to learn from both brilliant and kind professors and fellow law students, and suddenly, things become a little easier. cases actually make sense. you know how to study for exams and how to speak up in class. you finally get 8 hours of sleep (i do tbh). you find a little to like about learning each and every day. so, in short-- law school is brutal, and it can be unmerciful. but you don’t need to be smart to get through: just be a little interested, very hard-working, and have a lot of grit. please let me know how you’re doing, friend! good luck.

[bookcoversalt]

Have you noticed the latest edition of Charlie Bowater can only draw one (1) face? She did The Princess Will Save You and Cast In Firelight both YA Fantasy set to be released this year. And they are how you say... the same fucking cover

Ah yes so you saw the same tweet I did

I know I literally just posted that we cannot outlaw book covers from looking like each other, but ! Oof!

The only thing that softens the blow here is that Charlie has improved at representing nonwhite features such that characters look like POC rather than tan white people, although,, that bar was low. Anybody remember the ACOTAR coloring book.

(Would you have guessed that 2/3 of these people are nonwhite? Or even that they’re supposed to be three different men? I guess all the men in Prythian have the same haircut?)

But that minor victory is mostly lost in the quagmires of the fact that Charlie’s style is to give everyone instagram face:

I wouldn’t even call this “Sameface” necessarily: that implies limitation, that an artist is only capable of drawing a single facial structure competently. Bowater is incredibly technically talented, she just chooses to give everyone catlike fae eyes and the cheekbones of a starving nymph. (My previous post on this here.)

But I don’t really blame her for that, or for these hilariously identical, nearly devoid of personality covers. Artists are allowed to do whatever they want. Artists who make art for covers are being art directed by designers and marketing teams who bear responsibility for how the finished pieces turn out.

No, this is our fault, as a community and an industry and..... society, kind of, for valuing character portraits that are “pretty” (“pretty” being an extremely loaded, culturally subjective concept) over art that actually Says Something About The Story. Bowater’s style happens to dovetail perfectly with what we currently collectively find pretty, and so we’ve put her art on a pedestal at the cost of everything else art can or should do for our stories.

And this is understandable: in contemporary western culture, pretty is a value unto itself. Seeing our characters portrayed as pretty denotes them as special, as smart, as powerful. It’s almost impossible to de-program ourselves from that reaction. There are approximately five kajillion studies on how beautiful people are at personal and professional advantages; how they’re perceived to be happier, healthier, more successful, and how those perceptions can translate into realities. (Nevermind how thinness and whiteness enter that equation, see above note about “pretty”.) I would love to see more “average” or weird- looking characters abound (and be accurately visually represented) in the YA/ Genre lit sphere, but for now... everyone is pretty.

Which sometimes means everyone is pretty boring.

But that’s just the specific, "What’s the deal with Bowater’s success in book circles and her style and all the sameiness” part of this equation. What if we backed up and asked: why character art at all? Beyond a question of “pretty”-ness (and general obvious Artistic Quality), why do we gravitate towards it, what's the purpose of it, how does it fall flat in a general sense, and how can it be utilized more effectively?

This is something I think about all the time. I follow writers on social media (because..... I am a writer on social media, regrettably), and we have an enormous collective boner for character art. “Getting fanart [of the characters]” is one of the achievement pinnacles constantly cited when people get or want to get published. Commissioning character art is something we reward ourselves with, or save up for (WHICH IS GOOD AND CORRECT. FREE ART IS GREAT BUT DO NOT SOLICIT IT. PAY YOUR ARTISTS). And like???? Same????? We love our stories because we’re invested in our characters. Most humans, even prose writers, are visual creatures to some extent, and no matter how happy we are with our text-based art, it’s exciting to see our creations exist in that form. So we turn that art into promo material and we advocate for it on our covers-- because it’s so meaningful to us! It goes with the story perfectly!! Look at my dumb beautiful children!!!!!

But on an emotional level, it’s hard to grasp that it only means something to us. Particularly when you take into account the aforementioned vast landscape of beautiful visual blandness of many characters (in the YA/ genre lit sphere, that’s pretty much all I’m ever talking about), character art can be like baby photos. If you know the baby, if that baby is your new niece or your friend’s kid, if you’ve held them and their parent texts you updates when they do cute shit, you’re probably excited to see that baby photo. But unless it’s exceptionally cute, a random stranger’s baby photo isn’t likely to invoke an emotional reaction other than “this is why I don’t get on facebook.”

Seeing art of characters they don’t know might intrigue a reader, but especially if the characters or art are unremarkable-looking, it’s doing a hell of a lot more for the people who already have an emotional attachment to that character than anybody else. And that’s fine. Art for a small, invested audience is incredibly rewarding. But like the parent who cannot see why you don’t think their baby is THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BABY IN THE WORLD???? I think we have trouble divesting our emotional reaction to character art from its actual marketing value, which.... is often pretty minimal. This is my hill to die on #143:

Character portraits, even beautiful ones, are meaningless as a marketing tool without additional context or imagery. 

I love character art! I’m not saying it should not exist or that it’s worthless! Even art that appeals to only the one single person who made it has value and the right to exist. And part of this conversation is how important for POC to see themselves on covers, whether illustrations or stock imagery, particularly in YA/kidlit. I’m not saying character portrait covers are “bad”. 

I am saying that I have seen dozens and dozens of sets of character art for characters who look interchangeable, and it has never driven me to preorder a book. (Also one character portrait for a high-profile 2019 debut that was clearly just a painting of Amanda Seyfriend. You know the one. There’s nothing wrong with faceclaims but lmfao, girl,,,,)

I’m sure that’s not true for everyone! I am incredibly picky about art. It’s my job. There’s nothing wrong with your card deck of cell-shaded boys of ambiguous age and ethnicity who all have the same button nose and smirk if it Sparks Joy for you.

But if your goal is not only to delight yourself, but to sell books, it’s in your best interest to remember that art, like writing, is a form of communication. The publishing industry runs on pitches: querys, blurbs, proposals, self-promo tweets. What if we applied that logic to our visuals? How can we utilize our character design and art to communicate as much about our stories as possible, in the most enticing way?

Social media has already driven the embrace of this concept in a very general sense. Authors are now supposed to have ~ aesthetics. “Picspams” or graphics, modular collages that function as mini moodboards, are commonplace. But the labor intensity and relative scarcity of character art visible in bookish circles, even on covers, means that application of marketing sensibility to it is less intuitive than throwing together a pinterest board.

Since we were talking about it earlier, WICKED SAINTS, as a case study of a recent “successful” fantasy YA debut, arguably owed a lot of its early social media momentum to fanart.

(Early fanart by @warickaart)

The most frequently drawn character, Malachiasz, has long hair, claws, and distinctive face tattoos. WS has a strong aesthetic in general, but those features clearly marked his fanart as him in a way even someone unfamiliar with the book could clearly track across different styles. Different interpretations of his tattoos from different artists even became a point of interest.

(Art by Jaria Rambaran, also super early days of WS Being A Thing)

Aside from distinctiveness, it's a clear visual representation of his history as a cult member, his monstrous powers, and the story’s dark, medieval tone. The above image is also a great example of character interaction, something missing from straightforward portraits, that communicates a dynamic. Character dynamics draw people into stories: enemies-to-lovers, friends-to-lovers, childhood rivals, platonic life partners, love triangles, devoted siblings, exes who still carry the flame-- there’s a reason we codify these into tropes, and integrate that language and shared knowledge into our marketing. For another example in that vein, I really love this art by @MabyMin, commissioned by Gina Chen:

The wrist grip! The fancy outfits! These are two nobles who hate each other and want to bone and I am sold. 

In terms of true portraits, the best recent example I can think of is the set @NicoleDeal did for Roshani Chokshi’s GILDED WOLVES (I believe as a preorder incentive of some kind?): 

They showcase settings, props, and poses that all communicate the characters’ interests, skills, and personality, as well as the glamorous, elaborate aesthetic of the overall story. Even elements in the gold borders change, alluding to other plot points and symbology.

For painterly accuracy in character portraits on covers, I love SPIN THE DAWN. The heroine looks like a beautiful badass, yes, but the thoughtful, detailed rendering of every element, soft textures, and dynamic, fluid composition form a really cohesive, stunning illustration that presents an intriguing collection of story elements.

The devil isn’t always in the details, though: stark, moody, highly stylized or graphic art with an emphasis on textural contrast and bold color and shape rather than representational accuracy can communicate a lot (emotionally and tonally) while pretty much foregoing realism.

The new Lunar Chronicles covers are actually the best examples I found of this (Trying to stay within the realm of existing bookish art rather than branch into All Art Of Human Figures Forever):

Taking cues from styles more typical of the comics and video game industries.  (Games and comics, as visual mediums, are sources of incredible character art and I highly recommend following artists in those industries if you want to See More Cool Art On Your Timeline.)

TL;DR: Character art and design, as a marketing tool (even an incidental one) should be as unique to your story and your characters as possible, and tell us about the story in ways that make us want to read it. I tried to give examples because there are so many ways to do this, and so many different kinds of art, and I could give many more! But I’m bored now. So to circle all the way back:

These are not just bad because they look like each other, although that is embarrassing and illuminating. These are bad covers (although,,,,, PRINCESS is the far worse offender, at least FIRELIGHT suggests a thoughtful cultural analogue) because a desire for Pretty Character Art overrode the basic cover function to tell us about the story. We get no sense of who these people are, what their relationships are, what these books are about beyond the most general genre, or why we might care. The expressions are vague, the characters generic-looking, the compositions uninteresting and the colors failing to be indicative of anything in particular. 

They’re somebody else’s baby pictures.

(And yes, that’s the CRUEL PRINCE font on PRINCESS. I better not have to do a roundup post but it’s on thin fucking ice.)

[gchoate17]

I set a personal record this year and read 33 books, all of them for the first time with the exception of Tim O’Brien’s THE THINGS THEY CARRIED, which would be in the top 10, but I excluded it because I’d already included it in a previous year’s top 10. That being the case, here were my favorite 10 of 2020:

1. Hourglass by Dani Shapiro (2017)

Perfect pacing, honest and forthcoming. I finished this one and had the feeling I'd found my new favorite writer. I'm looking forward to reading her other works, but also, I'm looking forward to reading this one again -- I rarely want to reread a book. Also, she read the audio book herself and does a fantastic job. She felt like an old friend by the time I'd finished the book. 

2. Calypso by David Sedaris (2018)

Sedaris is one of the best storytellers alive. He may be an asshole, but he’s a good storyteller. I enjoyed listening to him process some things in his life that required him to go beyond the surface of his feelings in this book. 

3. Devotion by Dani Shapiro (2010)

I have no special interest in Judaism and I’ve never practiced yoga — two of this book’s primary subjects — but I’m discovering I have a deep appreciation for Shapiro’s specific brand of mining memories, her commitment to turning over all the stones in her life, her deep concern for the things she loves. A lot of writers can accomplish those tasks, but her even pace makes her work especially endearing. I’ve only read two other authors’ books back to back: When I discovered David Sedaris’s NAKED and ME TALK PRETTY ONE DAY in college, and when I followed up Stephen King’s ON WRITING with MISERY. Now, with Shapiro, I followed HOURGLASS with DEVOTION, and I don’t know that I’ve ever been as excited to start reading a book as I am right now with INHERITANCE. 

4. Inheritance by Dani Shapiro (2019)

In HOURGLASS and DEVOTION, Shapiro’s voice is confident about her place in the world, even though she says otherwise. Her Jewishness that she struggles with in DEVOTION is something she’s always struggled with and so she’s comfortable with that. In HOURGLASS, she knows she’s so far beyond Jacob’s medical scare that she’s at least somewhat comfortable discussing it, and Michael is a sturdy partner and so she can explore the relationship safely. But in INHERITANCE, it feels like we’re getting real-time life turbulence. I appreciate the quest element such a setup provides, but I also miss Shapiro’s confidence. I’m saying all this so I don’t gush too much in three consecutive reviews for the same author, but the fact remains, this is a wonderful book, and I immediately began listening to her podcast. If someone asks me who my favorite writer is, I’d have a hard time not saying Dani Shapiro at this point.

5. How Fires End by Marco Rafala (2019)

I love a multi-generational family story and this one was done especially well. I enjoyed having multiple narrators to provide multiple points of view on the single family narrative that showed itself throughout the course of the novel. Rarely does a book continue to gain speed all the way to the end, but I found that this one did. This felt like one of those debut books a writer has always known he will write because it draws on so much of his life up to that point. I'm curious what his next one will look like, but whatever the subject, I'm going to pick it up. Highly recommend this book that has some mass literary appeal. 

6. Heavy by Kiese Laymon (2018)

Laymon is candid about his experiences with sexual abuse, physical abuse, and his addiction to food. But this is not a book about those things as much as it is simply about a kid growing up black in Jackson, Mississippi. And it’s delivered honestly, eloquently, and wonderfully. 

7. Heirlooms by Rachel Hall (2016)

This collection of (tightly) linked stories beautifully illustrates how families metabolize trauma over time, from one generation to the next. And it's a reminder of how we never know the backgrounds from which people have come. 8. Becoming by Michelle Obama (2018)

Slow start, but once Barack comes onto the scene and this becomes -- in a way -- their love story, things picked up drastically. Michelle has always struck me as reluctant to be involved in politics, and that allows her to be sincere in a way that is incredibly rare. I miss them. 

9. Choke by Chuck Palahniuk (2001)

** spoiler alert ** I don’t regret seeing the movie before reading the book (though it has been a decade since I saw it), but I couldn’t not see Sam Rockwell as Victor. I don’t think that hurt anything. Maybe it’s the nature of my own shame — I got caught listening to the audio book at full volume by semi-acquaintances multiple times — but some of the sexual descriptions felt gratuitous, even when writing about a sex addict. By the end of the book, though, everything hits perfectly. Everything served its intended purpose. Strongest, most brilliant moment for me was Dr. Marshall’s reveal. 

10. One Summer by Bill Bryson (2013)

During the two and a half months I casually read this, my wife grew tired of me saying, "Did you know that in 1927..." A fascinating portrait of the United States at a fascinating time.

Biggest Disappointment: 31. The Elephant Vanishes by Haruki Murakami (1993)

First time reading Murakami and I'm not sure what I'm missing. The NYT blurb on the book is "Charming, humorous and frequently puzzling." I think my disconnect is that I don't want to be left puzzled.

Previous Book Lists: 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011.

[edettethegreat]

BONUS ROUND (aka part 1.5)- Some additional things for staging King Lear so that Edmund is 100% more sympathetic

Part 1 

Due to the fact that the audience needs to be told things via physical action makes this job of mine (ie making Edmund more sympathetic) (that I definitely did not have to do) a whole lot more difficult.

I gotta add in some more stage directions to really push the points I’m going for. So that even the dumbest audience member will get my point.

Casting/ Costumes

-Curan, who I have previously decided is the Captain Edmund talks to later, has red hair. Like, a bright shade of red. Since it’s not a common hair color, the audience will be able to recognize that the same servant is now the captain. 

- regarding Cornwall’s costume- This is a very valid example of what I was trying to describe (but like- plus a black jacket)

-Edgar and Gloucester have a very strong family resemblance to each other. Edmund does not. In fact, Edmund looks almost nothing like them. (For example, if Edgar and Gloucester have dark brown hair, Edmund would have light blond hair.) (I know, I know- that’s not necessarily how genetics work. BUT. That’s also not not how genetics work.) 

-EXCEPT. Now hear me out because I’m right. Hear me out. This is good. Edmund and Gloucester share the same, very distinctive, eye color. So that when Gloucester’s eyes get stabbed out, it’s also severing the one strand of a connection he had with Edmund. ✨Symbolism!✨

ACT 1 SCENE 1

-At the start of the scene, the stage already has people on it. It’s like. A party kinda but not really? It’s a royal event- a bunch of noblepeople would be there. The Door (TM) (and by now (assuming you read part 1) you should know that The Door (TM) is one of my favorite set pieces here) is on the stage towards the middle in the back. 

-you can see Gloucester, Kent, and Edmund walking towards it, ie to enter and join the other guests in the room. There is no wall between “behind” the door and in front of it. Only an implied wall created by how the set is set up. So you can still see them. 

Here’s a not-so-helpful illustration:

I do recognize how unhelpful that illustration is. I’m sorry. 

-As they approach the door, Gloucester pauses, waiting. Kent stands behind him- waiting to see what he’s waiting for. As you’ve guessed by now, this Earl of Gloucester is waiting for his bastard son to open the door for him. (Headcanon that Gloucester treats Edmund like a servant 99% of the time. Headcanon that Edmund would rather be a servant, because at least servants can quit their jobs.)

-Edmund opens it. Kent’s just like “what- what just happened?”. But Gloucester enters, and Edmund seems to be waiting for him to enter as well, and so he does. (It was this, combined with everything I wrote in Part 1, that makes Kent ask “Is not this your son, my lord?”, ie ??he’s not a servant tho?? Why, Gloucester?? Why are you like this??)

-As I mentioned earlier (I think- Unless I was just planning on mentioning it, and I didn’t actually get around to doing so) (I don’t exactly write these things in order), Extras are already on stage. The whole stage has a “ah yes this is an upper class event. The people here are all fancy rich people” vibe. 

-As Gloucester has his epic conversation with Kent, other less high ranking noblemen stand around them as well.  They don’t say anything or join in- probably because they’re less higher ranking.I know nothing about the hierarchy of English nobility, but let’s just say that Gloucester and Kent are pretty high ranking people.

-anyway the only purpose of doing that is for the “make Gloucester 100% more of a jerk” aspect of this. 

-ie, he’s not just insulting Edmund in private, or in front of a close friend of his. He’s insulting him in public, in front of all the random noblemen. 

-everything else I wrote in Part 1 about this scene stays the same.

ACT 1 SCENE 2

-Edmund stands by the desk as he talks to Edgar. (As you’d remember from part 1, he was sitting at the desk as he started his 2nd soliloquy).

-at “Some villain hath done me wrong!” Edgar slams his hands down on the desk. Edmund backs away as he says his lines “That’s my fear....”. He sees that Edgar is really angry (yeah, no kidding.), and is like “oh.... oh he would not hesitate to kill me with his bare hands at the moment.”

ACT 2 SCENE 1

-at “and of my land?..... loyal and natural boy, I’ll work the means to make thee capable”, Gloucester is still facing away from Edmund/ not looking at him. He motions vaguely to him at the words “loyal and natural..”. The line is said in a way making it clear that by it he’s actually saying “well Edgar’s not a valid heir to my stuff anymore, what’ll I do with my land??.... ah, I guess Edmund will have to get them. Oh well.”

ACT 2 SCENE 2

-Not exactly a stage direction, but a second reason for why “his” in the sentence “no more, perchance, does mine, nor his, nor hers” is referring to Gloucester and not Edmund:  Kent’s response to this is “I have seen better faces in my time”, so “his” can’t be Edmund, since practically the first thing Kent says about Edmund in Act 1 Scene 1 is “hmmm yes that is a Nice Looking person”

-I’m revising what I said in part 1 (mainly just about where Edmund is standing on stage/ where everyone is standing on stage)- I’m changing this scene to be more in favor of @suits-of-woe​’s Cornwall Theory. (HEY PEOPLE, GO READ THE CORNWALL THEORY. I don’t just link it here for fun- I link it so you all can go read it)

-SO

-just to reiterate what I said last time about this scene- Edmund enters to break up Kent and Oswald’s fight with a sword (more specifically- Edgar’s two handed sword that he just used to fight Edgar and stab himself with). His arm is wounded from that one time about two seconds ago when he stabbed it. It’s been bandaged. He’s holding the sword well enough, but it’s clear that he wouldn’t be able to actually fight anyone with it.

-NOW MOVING ON TO NEW STUFF

-at “..come, I’ll flesh ye..”, Kent draws his sword and challenges Edmund. (Wait. His sword’s already drawn, right? Ok then nevermind, he just challenges Edmund.)

-Gloucester, Cornwall, and Regan Enter, and walk a bit onto the stage.

-At “Weapons! Arms! What’s the matter here??”, Gloucester notices the fight and takes like 5 steps away from it. It’s clear that he’s like “nope nope nope not dealing with this today-”

-Regan stays where she is. She’s not particularly scared of the fight, and knows that neither Kent nor Oswald would dare injure her, considering she’s literally the king’s daughter.

-Cornwall, however, at his lines of “Keep peace, upon your lives! He dies that strikes again!” moves to stand in between Edmund and Cornwall- ie facing Cornwall, in a way that would be protecting Edmund. He also is confident neither Kent nor Oswald would hurt him- he’s higher ranking than both of them.

(Illustrated for your convenience) (Scribbled out Edmund bc I didn’t know how tall to make him)

-Cornwall can see clearly that Edmund is in no condition to fight (at least not with a two handed sword). As the next few lines are said, Cornwall takes the sword from Edmund, in a “don’t worry about this- I got this” sort of way. He gently pushes Edmund towards where Gloucester and Regan are standing- in the same sort of way; showing “hey. I’ll deal with this. It’s not your job to defend us. Go chill with the rest of The Group.”

 ACT 3 SCENE 3

-remember when I said Gloucester is angry in this scene?

-yeah well I gotta really push that point using some ✨stage directions✨ rather than just “Gloucester yells a lot”

-ANYWAY

-The Door (TM) is turned sideways for this scene, and Gloucester and Edmund enter from the side of the stage

Here’s a totally helpful illustration 

-Gloucester is clearly angry, Edmund is Hiding His Emotions (TM). 

-Gloucester starts his lines while he grabs the doorknob and forcefully opening the door. As Gloucester storms on to the main part of the stage, he slams the door behind him, right before Edmund could walk through it after him. Because of course, Gloucester has to forget that Edmund exists at lest once a scene. Edmund stands outside the door for a sec, as if saying “......wow.”. Then he enters and joins Gloucester inside. 

ACT 5 SCENE 3

-As Albany says “Half blooded fellow, yes!”, last time I wrote that Edmund is momentarily surprised, then glares at him. This time I’m here to change this a bit-

At first I was picturing it like This:

But then I was like, “no,, that won’t make Edmund 100% more sympathetic- that would only make him like 65% more sympathetic.” 

-anyway, we gotta raise Albany’s aggression level. Because if they’re equally aggressive to each other The Audience might just. Not get it. They won’t get that we’re out here trying our hardest to make ya sympathize with Edmund.

-So. And Hear me out. Because this DOES have a point. I’m gonna get to it. So to raise Albany’s aggression levels here, Albany grabs Edmund’s tie or jabot (whatever neck piece the costume has. I don’t care how historically accurate the costumes are) and pulls him towards him (in like. An aggressive Way.) He lets go as soon as he finishes saying that one line- he only did it to prove he was serious about challenging Edmund. Either way, he did It in a more pulling forward motion than a grabbing on motion, and so now Edmund is standing on the other side of Albany. (Was this basically just a way for me to change where Edmund is standing? Maybe.)

-now that Edmund is standing on the other side of Albany, the scene continues as I wrote it out in part 1- ie Edmund glares at Albany. Except Albany is no longer standing in front of him (ie facing him). 

Here’s an illustration to help out-

So far, Edmund never glared at anyone (or showed his anger in general) straight to a person’s face. He always only lets his mask fall when he’s alone or when the subject of his anger can’t see him. So now it’s more consistent- their positions on the stage changed so that Edmund can still glare at Albany, and also doesn’t have to drop his act.

-AND THAT’S IT-

 (-FOR NOW-)

[techbranding]

Does My Startup Need A Tech Branding Agency?

We recommend having bi-weekly check-ins to discuss the process, open questions, etc. However, we prefer to present results and updates asynchronously − it saves a lot of time for both sides. SketchesAt this stage, we explore concepts and general directions on how the logo could look. We follow Visual positioning and Brand expression findings and recommendations. This stage helps to examine a lot of concepts and shapes fast. These Terms of Participation permit you to join the Discussion only https://craftandroot.com/industries/tech-startups/.

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Gift card fraud can be a gateway to stolen payment credentials, drained bank accounts and even stolen identity. Certain projects, images, and products are trademarks of and/or copyrighted by their respective owners. Develop a Personality.Your business has a personality – a tone that it uses to communicate to the audience. Many businesses don’t sufficiently develop a personality, or don’t keep it consistent. Yes, send me the BizBuySell SellerNewsletter, which contains advice on selling a business and email only promotions. We are sorry, we were not able to submit your issue for this listing at this time. The information in this listing has been provided by the business seller or representative stated above.

Brand Name Creation

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Cast a wide tech branding agency net at first and bring the top three back to go through the process with you. Be incredibly clear about the goals and objectives of the project. Tap your network, do your research, check the rankings to see what firms measure up. Omni-channel marketing campaign showcasing the “connecting” benefits of being able to access Tower Health’s growing health system. Thank you for Trajectory’s splendid healthcare rebranding work. You’ve done an outstanding job blending respect for the past with gentle nudging of inherently sensible and winning ideas. Our health system brand is an emotional lightning rod for many, and you navigate it extraordinarily well.

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With a BA in English Literature from Dartmouth College and an MFA from the University of Massachusetts’ English MFA for Poets & Writers, Stevie is also no stranger to the power of words. As head of Catchword’s East Coast operations, he’s typically the project lead on all right coast accounts, and recently managed projects for Volkswagen, McDonald’s, Kellogg, and First Alert. He graduated from Brandeis University with a BA in History, and earned his JD from the State University of New York at Buffalo. is a collection of ultra-premium brandable dot-com domains—merging the best in messaging, memorability, length, and flow. Our linguistic and cultural evaluation is backed by an international network of native speakers in more than 100 languages. And, when Catchword first sampled Gordon Dessert’s new line of mochi , we knew we were naming a truly category re-defining confectionary.

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They keep their brand voice highly practical and focused on solving prospects’ pain points. They use demo videos to educate and inspire confidence in their products. This is an example that companies do not need to invest their energy into all available channels, but rather pick one or two to focus on. Partner testimonials, PRs on closed deals, fundraisers and case studies by the likes of Yahoo Finance and Harvard Business Review communicate the reputation and importance of this brand. Communicating diverse topics across different channels whilst maintaining voice consistency and brand integrity. The Facebook page features a cover video with main takeaways of what the company stands for and a striking summary of their offers. They connect their user base with immersive food and beverage tours, skip-the-line tickets for attractions, craft classes, niche offerings and other immersive experiences.

[youremeimyou]

Promise Me(pt.2)

Part 1 - Part 2

pairing: Park Jimin x reader (ft. Kim Taehyung) genre: Lots of angst, fluff and pure drama... word count: 5k warnings: alcohol consumption, sexual tension

Description: Y/N is Jimin’s longest and best friend. Certain feelings are caught and meanwhile, Jimin accidently sets Y/N up with his other best friend. But not before getting her to make him a promise.

A/N: First off, sorry cuz I know it’s been a long time since pt.1. But finally pt.2 is here, yayy! This one’s a bit more angsty but these two boys are both fluffballs so there are lots of cute stuff. (sighs)I just love Vmin so much, it was hard to do this justice. I hope I could and I hope you’ll like it. I’d love to know what you think. Enjoy!

It had almost been a month since the eventful Christmas. Taehyung was walking to the girl's dorm to spend some time with Y/N. This was his third time going without Jimin since he finally found the courage to go alone a few weeks ago, when he made up a stupid excuse for showing up at her door in the middle of the night.

Of course he was drunk that night. A few words may have slipped out of his mouth that made Y/N a blushing mess. But he never made a move on her in his drunken state and she appreciated that. Y/N took care of him, helped him sober up, let him sleep on her couch. So it became normal for him to drop by just to hang out since then.

After everything that went down on Christmas, Jimin only had one mission in mind: Avoid both of your best friends at all costs.

It was obviously hard considering one of them was a person he saw everyday since he was a kid and the other was his roommate. But he tried his best. It was starting to become tiring, feeling bothered and even heartbroken without understanding why and pretending to be okay so they wouldn't figure out. So he was more ghost than man over the course of last month.

It didn't go unnoticed by Y/N of course, she saw through his acts easily. Especially the times they would work on the musical. Normally doing anything with Jimin was fun for Y/N, even work and studying. And producing a musical normally would've been crazy fun. But Y/N could tell he was being distant. He wouldn't even come over much, saying there was still a lot of time to work on the project. All of that broke Y/N's heart to pieces.

There was a flower in Taehyung's hand that he picked up from the little winter garden at the coffee shop he'd been coming from. And he contemplated whether or not to give it to Y/N as he waited outside her room. But suddenly the door opened.

"Oh- Hey Tae! What're you doing here?"

"Uhh.. Hi. I just came by to ask you if you wanted to play some Mortal Kombat." he said, having trouble keeping eye contact.

"You mean you wanna get your ass kicked by the best player around? Sure." Y/N smirked. "I was just about to take out the trash so after that-"

Taehyung took it from her hands.

"I'll take it out and you get the game ready?" He made it sound like a question but started walking away to do as he said at the same time.

"Wait. What's that in your..?"

Taehyung looked back to see Y/N pointing at the flower in his hand, a funny expression on her face. He mentally face palmed.

"Oh this? Uhh it's just-" he sighed defeatedly and passed it to her. "It's for you." She was cringing and laughing but it still made his heart race as she took it to her nose.

"Thanks, it smells so nice."

After 15 rounds of K.O. -each with fatality- from Y/N, Taehyung gave up and put the controller down with a frown. Then he noticed the sketches on the coffee table.

"Oh, come on. You're good at music, acting and drawing? How's that fair for the rest of the world?" Taehyung protested.

"I'm merely mediocre at the first two and I suck at the last one. Admit it."

"No way! What were you drawing here?"

"Uh.. Jimin.."

Taehyung's eyes went wide. "Oh. Okay, sorry it just looks more like Bart Simpson than anything."

They both burst into laughter.

"I know. It's just- the professor wants the posters to also be original and made by us. So I wanted it to be a cool drawing of Jimin. You know, cause he's the lead." Her face dropped as she continued. "And also.. Jimin's been out of my reach lately. Which sucks.. So I thought maybe I could surprise him and make up for anything stupid I did to make him avoid me."

Taehyung could tell how important this was to her. He also was on Jimin's 'to avoid list'. An idea popped into his mind.

"Well, I can work on a poster for Jimin. Though, it'll be kinda hard to keep it from him. He always loves to snoop whenever I'm working on something."

Taehyung was a graphic design student that did illustrations for a comic book shop as part time gig. So he was more than qualified. But all of his equipment and designing programs were on his computer. And his wasn't a laptop but a desktop pc.

"You're just gonna have to distract him for me!" Taehyung said while looking like he presented the best idea ever.

"That is a brilliant idea. But our lovely Chim doesn't really talk to me novadays." Y/N's frown returned. She really had missed him.

"Come on, he can never resist you."

Now that was true. All three of them knew it. Even if it made Taehyung a bit upset, he just knew their relationship was something way bigger than anything else. And so, they made a deal and shook on it. Taehyung was gonna get free tickets to the musical in return for designing the poster.

Later that day, Taehyung texted Y/N saying he had an inspiration and that she needed to get Jimin out of the room to start working on it. So she quickly got ready and went over there.

She knocked on the door and heard both of the boys collectively say "Come in!" When she walked in she saw that Jimin really was trying to look at what Taehyung was doing on his computer. A curious little baby, she thought.

"Hey Chim. Whatcha doin'?"

The look on Jimin's face as he looked at her was confusing. Because it contained nervousness and edginess but also longing and relief. It gave hope to Y/N in thinking she wasn't the only one missing a best friend. Jimin walked over to her and when he noticed a strand of hair fall on her eyes, he gently put it back behind her ear.

"Nothing much. You?"

"Same. Wanna come over and work on some dance moves? I feel like I can't do any of 'em right. I really need you.."

She had no idea why she expressed that last part with so much emotion. But it made Jimin inhale sharply.

"Okay, sure."

"Great! Oh, you go ahead and I just gotta return Taehyung this uh.. pen I burrowed."

Y/N had one of her own pens in her hand and Jimin knew it. But he wasn't gonna dig on the subject. He just settled for rolling his eyes and saying "Fine.." as he walked out. Taehyung on the other hand was confused not remembering ever lending her a pen.

"Here Tae, thanks!" She shouted that so Jimin would hear and then whispered the next part.

"Whatever you do, just draw him dancing. Oh, and I want my pen back later."

Y/N knew her neighboors would complain about the noise she and Jimin were making while practising. But it didn't matter. With the way his body moved fluidly as he showed her his smooth and flawless moves and the way he held her hips to move her and teach her when she couldn't get it right.. Y/N didn't care one bit about the neighboors, no.

Every once in a while he would dance behind her to lead her through the choreography, all the while his breathy voice in her ear, panting and counting the steps. Needless to say she felt hot and bothered. So she suggested to take a break.

The chamomile sitting on the little table inside a glass of water caught Jimin's eye. He knew for a fact Y/N wasn't a flower person. Whenever he'd buy her some in the past, they'd always end up dead. He did have a guess in mind about who might've brought it here, though.

"I hope he won't get upset when it dies in like two days." He pointed to it with his head.

"I know he's your friend but sorry, that thing was a goner as soon as it was placed in my care."

"Well, sad. Cause coming from Taehyung, it's kinda a big gesture."

A frown formed on Y/N's brows, with the worry of making Taehyung upset. But flowers just didn't grow with her, nothing could be done.

"I'm afraid it wasn't the right gesture to pull on me."

"He doesn't know you like I do."

By this point, he was much closer to Y/N than he was at the beginning of the conversation. Y/N hadn't even realized him moving towards her. This rehersal had been nothing but tense so far.

"No one does, Chim."

They looked into each other's eyes as if it was a staring contest. Jimin would normally win those. But having her right in front of him, with drops of sweat falling from her face down to her collarbones and heat radiating off her skin, he felt a push like never before to get even closer so he had to step back as caution.

"Good job today, panda. These moves fit you so well."

"Thanks. And thanks for teaching me. Sorry for being such a burden-"

"Hey!" Jimin cut in and stepped towards her again to look her in the eyes once more. "You could never be a burden." He gave her a kiss on the forehead and left soon after.

The evening came pretty soon and Y/N was very exhausted after all the dancing around earlier. Jimin was a professional at it. His body and condition would rival any of the boys on soccer team. But Y/N wasn't fit like that. So she was getting ready to call it at a day. In fact, she was barely awake as she layed on the couch. She nearly jumped out of her skin when her phone went off loudly with notifications. Her brain immediately presumed to see 'Chimmy' on the screen but instead it was 'TaeTae'.

-Hey wanna come over real quick? Jimin went out.

-I mean to talk about the poster, I swear I’m not a perv.. u awake?? I really need opinions!

-Y/N, he'll be out prolly all night, this is our chance.

Out all night? Why would he be out all night? Y/N quickly called Jimin first before even opening the messages.

"Angel? What's up?"

"Hey Chim, where are you?"

"Uh.. on my way to the library. I have intel that there'll be a quiz on Theatre History tomorrow." He voiced the last part like those characters in spy movies.

"Oh. Why didn't you tell me? I took that class last year and still have my notes, I could come help you."

"I know but no need, lovely. You were already tired today. And Namjoon hyung's here to give me an intensive course."

He always managed to make a smiling fool out of Y/N with the endless, sweet nicknames. This time wasn't an exception.

"Anything up with you? If you need something I'm already outside I can-"

"No, I just wanted to check in on you, I'm about to go to sleep. Good luck and say hi to Joon."

"I will. Sweet dreams, angel."

She got up to walk to her bed but remembered Taehyung’s messages. Her body desperately craved sleep but Taehyung was right. It was a great opening with Jimin out of the room so she dragged her feet over there. 

When Taehyung opened the door and saw a sleepy Y/N, his stomach started doing flips and somersaults. As a result, he was a stuttering mess.

“Hey, sorry if uh.. if I wake- woke you. Come on- come in! Come in.”

His hair was wet. There was a towel over his shoulders and he held a t-shirt over his chest. Fresh out of the shower. Y/N eyes traced the t-shirt down to where once she knew his tummy was from P.E. classes in high school. Tummy was no more, though. Those were qualified abs. Not overdone but just the right amount of them. Once she noticed she was staring, her eyes quickly changed direction. And when he noticed what she had been doing, he visibly blushed and audibly gulped.

“Oh.. When you didn’t write back, I thought you might’ve gone to sleep so I just hopped in the shower.” he explained as he quickly put on his shirt.

They went over to his computer to see the progress of the poster. Taehyung sat on the chair in front of the table and Y/N took a seat on Taehyung’s bed right next to it.

“Woah, Tae it looks incredible. I can’t believe you’re done so soon!”

“Done? No, I’m not done. There’re still a lot of details we should go through.”

As Taehyung mumbled the list of said details, Y/N couldn’t get her attention away from the poster. The elegancy and the delicacy of the move Jimin was pictured doing seemed so real, like an actual photo. But the colors and the environment looked so abstract. 

“You’ve really captured the essence of Jimin and the way he loses himself to dance. Wow.”

“I’ve seen him perform enough times to familiarize with the demon that posesses him on stage.”

Thank you Mr. Demon, Y/N thought as she always did when seeing Jimin perform.

Taehyung then settled on his bed next to Y/N with a pen and paper on his hands to sketch. He was asking Y/N about the stuff he wanted to change or add and etc and showing her what it would roughly look like. And Y/N tried her best to give opinions but her eyes were slowly but surely closing, drifting into sweet slumber. And so she dozed off. Taehyung didn’t even notice until he also was pulled by sleep. 

He thought about waking her up but couldn’t bring himself to do it. He watched her steadily breathing for a while before being taken by sleep himself. 

A few hours later Jimin came back from the library and slowly got inside his room, guessing his roomate would be sleeping. What he never would’ve expected was seeing Y/N curled up next to him. Sleeping by his side. 

That devastating feeling came back to sit on Jimin’s chest. She knew Jimin would be out for hours, maybe even until the morning. She called Jimin before coming here. Why? Why would she sneak in here without saying anything to him? Why would she keep this.. whatever it was a secret from him? They were clearly way closer than Jimin imagined. 

His breath got stuck in his throat. He felt furious and heartbroken and he wanted to run away but stopped dead in his tracks. The thought of leaving them alone in here like this seemed inconceivable at that moment. So he walked over to his bed and plumped on it. Pulling the cover over his head he hoped it wasn’t real but when he got his head out again, the view was the same.

That’s when he saw Y/N twitching and grunting in discomfort. She was slowly gaining back consciousness. Her head was between her hands as she tried to wake up fully, realizing she fell asleep unintentionally. After miraculously managing to slip out of the bed without waking Taehyung up, she noticed Jimin sitting on his bed staring at her. She wobbly walked over to him. And even though Jimin was upset, he still felt worried, she didn’t look well.

“What’s wrong with you?” 

“This crazy headache woke me up. I feel like vomiting.”

Jimin got up and went to check on her by instinct. “Let’s get you to a doctor.” 

“No no. It’s just normal migraine stuff, Chim. It won’t pass unless I manage to go back to sleep. I should get back to my room.”

She started walking towards the door and decided to explain everything to Jimin in the morning when she’d be able to do it better. Jimin on the other hand couldn’t leave her alone when she was in this much pain. Putting everything aside for the time being, he pulled her back by her arm.

“Just come here, Y/N.”

He pulled her into the bed next to himself and gently turned her to face the other way. His hands travelled on her temples, eyes and forhead, slowly massaging the areas. He would place little kisses on the back of her head from time to time, too. She’d get these headaches every once in a while so Jimin had learned over time what he could do to make her feel better. 

“It’ll be okay. Just close your eyes, try clearing your head and take deep breaths, baby.” he whispered in her ear. 

Jimin’s arms were home. Warm, comfy and familiar. Even that headache couldn’t hold Y/N back from dozing off once more and sleeping soundly in his embrace. Jimin kept watching over her and only allowed himself to sleep when it seemed like all her pain was gone.

With the morning sun Y/N slowly came around from sleep. She felt the lack of a set of arms around her so she turned around to regain them as her eyes were still closed. They opened in disbelief when she couldn’t find the source. Her eyes looked around the room next but only to find that both Jimin and Taehyung were gone. 

Y/N stayed in bed, trying to remember details of last night. She had accidently fallen asleep on Taehyung’s bed. She wondered what Jimin thought when he saw her like that. He did seem upset and she’d love to explain it to him but that terrible headache.. And how Jimin took care of her. Wasn’t new that he helped her but the atmosphere felt different at that moment. Despite being distant for a while before, he was being more intimate with her lately. A different kind of intimate. She really wanted to have a talk with him. She decided to text him but she saw the texts he had sent before on the screen.

-Y/N, I had to leave to get to class. If you're still not feeling okay, you have to go to the doctor. Let me know if you do. If not, bagels in the fridge and coffee's made.

-My keys are on the night stand you can leave them under the mat if you go out. But I'd love to have you there when I get back, angel.

There it was. An opportunity to have the talk. Jimin seemed to want to, as well. So decided on waiting there, it was a free day for her anyways.

Some time later sounds came from the door implicating someone coming in. Y/N thought it must've been Jimin. It was his taller counterpart.

"Oh, uh.. morning, Y/N."

"Hey, Tae. Did you have an early class?"

"No, it's my free day just like you. I just went out for a walk."

"In this cold?" Y/N teased, smiling.

"I was kinda hot headed so the cold helped."

His voice was even deeper than normal. And the features of his face were unusually hardened.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

He shot her a quick smile that didn't even reach his eyes. And anyone that knew Taehyung knew he was never insincere. That was against his nature.

"You can talk to me about anything." Y/N said as she handed him the cup of coffee she poured for him when he came in.

Taehyung stared at the mug. Then, at her strecthed out arm and lastly at her eyes, without saying a word or moving. He looked like he was thinking carefully about what he was gonna say next.

"I didn't wanna scare you away last night. I hope I wasn't but I apperantly have this habit of hugging things as I sleep so I'm sorry if-"

"Wha- No Tae and I wouldn't mind if you were either. You didn't scare me away. A headache woke me up."

"But when I woke up, I saw you over there." He pointed to Jimin's bed. Shit. Y/N worried about what Jimin thought of the situation last night but it didn't occur to her how Taehyung would take it. She sometimes forgot what Jimin told her about Taehyung's feelings. The last thing she'd want would be to break his heart.

"Jimin helped me. There's this massage thing he invented for when I get headaches. That's why we were-"

"I know it's not the first time I've seen you two like that but it's just-" Courage came to him all of a sudden so he took a step forward. "I thought I was being more.. open with you. And call me crazy if I'm wrong but it feels like we've become closer. Haven't we?"

They had been.Taehyung wasn't someone Y/N could easily disregard. And she knew she kept letting him in more and more over time. But she was just confused by Jimin all the time. Maybe she shouldn't have been, though. Jimin's been witnessing them getting closer but wasn't doing or saying anything about it, she thought. Guess he really was okay with it. Obviously he didn't want his relationship with Y/N to change into something.. else.

"You're not wrong, Tae. We have."

His eyes lit up and his mood got back up after hearing her say that. He didn't wanna rush things but he didn't want to do nothing either.

"Tonight, when you're hungry and when I'm also hungry we could- could we? Eat? Like outside- I know a great place."

Y/N couldn't help but smile seeing him stumble over his words.

"How are you this shy with the way you look is still beyond me." It was a sincere comment and she was pleasently surprised to be able to say it to his face. Taehyung still blushed like crazy, though. Then he took a deep breath and asked more confidently.

"Can I take you out to dinner tonight?"

Maybe she needed to move on from the limbo she was in, after all.

"Yeah.."

------

A ryhtmic knocking came from Y/N's door. She opened it and was met with a Jimin holding a lot of shopping bags.

"Chim! What's all that?"

"Well my quiz went amazingly, thanks for asking. So I thought we could celebrate. We're gonna make a cake!"

"I think you've gotten enough stuff to make ten cakes. And congrats."

"Ten cakes are even better. And thanks. But hey, I thought you’d be waiting for your man to get back at his room where he left you." Jimin teased with a smug smirk on his face. And Y/N’s mouth fell open a little in shock. But she quickly recovered and played along.

“Well my man took his time to come back. I can’t be kept in a cage, waiting forever for a guy.” They stared at each other until Jimin said “And scene..”

They were laughing as they carried the stuff inside and upon Jimin insisting, they started with the cake immediately. Twenty minutes in, they already created the biggest mess and didn't even get much done from fooling around. Jimin was in a good mood, dancing around, teasing Y/N and it all felt normal.

Y/N was making chocolate sauce and beckoned Jimin for a taste test. He came to her, sticking his head out from behind, over her shoulder and placing his hands on both sides of the stove, trapping her body with his own. Closer than close. He reached for the spoon and immediately closed his eyes after tasting, humming deeply.

"Mmhhmm.. my diligent panda, it tastes like paradise! Great job."

"Exaggerate away.."

"It does! Go ahead and taste for yourself."

Jimin took the spoon out of her hand and offered her some. He watched her as she tasted it. He was already staring at her lips and now they were covered in chocolate. There was some left on the corner of her mouth, too. Jimin felt that push again but this time he was already too close to not act on it.

He leaned forward and licked the chocolate away. Y/N just froze, not even being able to react.

"You had a little left.. on the corner right there."

When they finally broke apart Jimin got a bottle of wine out from one of the bags.

"I got this for when the cake is ready."

A while later there was some music they put in the background, only a few pieces were left of the two cakes that they made and the wine bottle had been emptied very quickly. It was still early into the evening but emotions, thoughts and feelings were already all over the place. 

They were at their usual spot. On the floor in front of the couch with Y/N seated in the space between Jimin’s legs and Jimin’s arms wrapped up around her. Movements were sloppy due to alcohol. Jimin placed his head on her shoulder. 

“I’m sleepy.” Y/N almost couldn’t understand what he said because of his mumbling. 

“Are you now? I don’t ever remember you being an early bird.”

“What can I do? You’re so cozy.”

“Me? It’s probably the wine making you sle-”

“Nope, this much wouldn’t affect me. It’s all you, bear.”

Bear was a new one, she loved it.

“Oh!” Jimin hopped up and down where he was sitting. “I know your secret~” he sang. Y/N’s eyes went wide. Did Taehyung tell him about the date? And why was he taking it this excitedly?

“Umm.. I don’t know what you’re talki-”

“I saw it on Taehyung’s PC. I figured it was your idea. And the way you were sneaking around with him made much more sense.” He huffed as if in relief. Y/N was also relieved. He meant the poster, not the date. Good. She wanted to be the one to tell him.

“He did all the work. And you weren’t supposed to see until he felt like it was done completely!”

“My dude’s got talent. And I always snoop around, he knows that.” 

They were giggling, Jimin put his head back down on her shoulder and closed his eyes. Y/N’s eyes went to the clock to see the time they agreed on meeting with Taehyung was getting close. She had to tell Jimin about it. 

“I gotta jet soon, Chim.”

“No, you wouldn’t leave me.”

“But I have to get ready.”

Jimin got his head up suddenly in denial with a lovely pout. 

“Where’re you going?”

“Out to dinner.” She paused to avert her eyes from him. “With Taehyung.”

Jimin had a rude awakening. “A date? An offical one?”

She just nodded. They didn’t speak for some time and just stared into space. But something happened in the silence. Jimin understood now. Up until that moment, what he knew was that Y/N was his person. Everyone around them knew it as well. But the void Jimin felt whenever this subject was brought up finally made sense to him. And he had promised himself that he’d tell her as soon as he knew. So that’s what he’d do.

“Don’t go.”

He spoke clearly and seriously.

“What?”

“Even though you complied back then, it was wrong of me to make you promise to not care about anyone the way you care about me.”

“Jimin, I could never-”

“We might be best and oldest friends but that wouldn’t be fair to anyone we open our hearts to. And especially you. You’ve given so much to me and I became comfortable on the recieving end. The reason I made you make that promise is because I knew I wanted to be the one you loved most but I was so dumb to not realize why until now.” 

He moved his head closer and closer until their lips were so close that they even touched but only slightly. 

“I know I’m so stupid. But I’m so in love with you, Y/N. I wanna kiss you so bad..” Y/N was sure her heart would jump right out of her chest at any second.

“But I won’t if you don’t want me to-”

Y/N quickly closed whatever little distance was left between their faces, not being able to take it any longer. Jimin was surprised but when he felt her trying to pull away, he held her and deepened the kiss. He slowly and gently pushed her down on the ground with his body on top of hers, lips still connected. Then linked one of his hands with hers while the other one was still placed on the back of her head, protecting it from bumping onto the ground earlier. 

When they finally parted lips, both were panting. Y/N ran her hand through Jimin’s hair. Jimin was looking at her with fragile eyes. 

“Does this mean you’re not going?”

“No, I only kissed you because there was some chocolate left on your lips and I didn’t want it to go to waste.”

Jimin actually took it seriously for a moment. He let out a relieved sigh when he realized the corners of her mouth curving upwards in humour.

“I can’t believe it took you this long, Jimin.” Y/N complained. 

“What do you mean? Wait- Did you already-”

“You finally figured out your feelings but you never had a clue about mine?”

Jimin was shocked. “Are you serious right now?”

“I’ve always loved you, idiot. And I’ve been pining after you for the longest time.”

“I’m sorry.” he quickly pecked her lips over and over and spoke in between kisses saying “I love you.”, “I’m an idiot.” and “I love you” again. 

“It’s okay, Chim.” she softly tapped his chest, signaling to sit back up. And they were seated once more.

“What’re we gonna do about Tae?” She felt so worried about that. Feeling like she played him. He was an amazing person and a true friend to both of them. The thought of breaking his heart terrified her. It made Jimin upset too, they both cared about him.

“I don’t know.. But we’ll figure it out.”

He laughed bitterly. “You know what? Tae knew. He always told me to stop being an idiot with you. I should’ve listened. But yeah.. I know he’ll understand.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And whatever happens I’ll make it right with him. He’s my brother. Brothers might fight but they’re still brothers.”

She pinched the side of his arm. “No fighting over anyone! Not ever!”

“I meant that figuratively, angel.”

“Wait. Did you just quote High School Musical?” They both burst into laughter.

Then he smiled at her endearingly and pulled her into the tightest hug ever.

“Let’s just stay like this for a while.”

...

@world-moon​​ @nopedopebts  had requested to be tagged so here you go :)

A/N: I’m sorry for this long ass part. Thank you soo much if you bared with me and read it. I seriously hope you liked it because I struggled a lot with the ending, I hope it was good and satisfactory. I’d really like it if you guys let me know what you think and who would you have liked Y/N to end up with. 

[inthemaelstrom]

The Problem of Intent

I thought I'd move a few things over here from my Typepad blog which is slowly going away, things that deserve another audience, or at least that I think deserve another audience. Here's the first of them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up this morning thinking about the word "intent," as I have been off and on for some time, for reasons relating to the circumstances mentioned above (more on that in a later, catch-up post). My ruminations finally solidified yesterday after watching an episode of Red Table Talk on Facebook (another reason I haven't been back here in a while—Facebook, not Red Table Talk). It's a good episode with Chelsea Handler talking with Jada Pinkett Smith and Adrienne Banfield-Jones about white privilege and parts of it are really painful to watch, mostly the bits from Handler's documentary, in which she interviews white women, mostly poor and conservative, about whether they think white privilege exists (they don't). Handler's own previous dumbassery on the subject is also pretty painful, but she's getting it right now, and that's what matters most.

But there's a point in the video where she tells a story on herself, illustrating her former dumbassery and the person who calls her out said, "It's not about the intention, it's about the reception." A little further on, Handler acknowledges that white people don't want to learn because it's uncomfortable to learn not to be an asshole or a bigot to other people, "you gotta go head first into deep things and get in trouble and say stupid things to learn how to say smarter things." All of which is true. Not just say smarter things, but know smarter things, I would add. The process of learning to be a good ally to people who don't have your privilege is hard and embarrassing and upsetting. It's heartbreaking and guilt-making to realize you've been walking through the world hurting people (if you're not a Rethuglican who enjoys that kind of thing; but I digress.) 

And then Jada Pinkett Smith says that key thing that I've been thinking about for ages now: "I think we gotta make some room for people to say stupid stuff sometimes," because racism has been going on for so long that most of it is unconscious now. People don't realize they're being racist unless it's pointed out to them (and that's where other white people need to get off their asses; it's not Black people's job to do that). She continues, "Not every—you know, not every action is racist." So while it may feel racist to the object of the action, it may not to the actor and it may not have that intent behind it. 

This is why intent matters—also. Not by itself, but in addition to reception. Because if we are doing our damnedest to be a good friend and generous person, to do the right thing, to not be racist, sexist, bigoted, insensitive, ableist, oblivious to the experiences of others, and we fuck up along the way, a little compassion helps fuel the struggle for everyone. There's a mental health element to this too, and Handler prefaces her part of the discussion with what seems like her irrelevant experiences in therapy to make this point. She spends a long time talking about her own struggles with pain and anger and how realizing how angry she was was because she was in pain was the thing that broke her open, finally, and got some real work done. When we're operating primarily on a foundation of pain (and here I walked away to go make my bed, because, yanno, pain), then the world becomes our enemy. Everyone becomes our enemy. Everyone is out to hurt us, to insult us, to fuck with us, plotting against us to make us miserable, being mean to us. Everything everyone says or does to us that hurts us (and when we're already in pain, this doesn't generally take a lot) is intentional. Because people are bad and mean and hurtful and fuck all ya'll anyway. I hate people.

And that's clearly bullshit. It feels right when we're hurting, and damn if there aren't days when I get up in the morning and look at the news and think What the ever loving fuck is wrong with you people? about nearly everyone in the world after seeing all the hurt we do each other. But to think the whole world is your enemy, that every person you meet, every friend you make, will ultimately betray and hurt you creates a huge number of problems and solves nothing. First, believing we are somehow important enough for individuals in our lives (never mind the rest of the world) to spend their time machinating about how to hurt us is one of the best examples of narcissism I can think of, and utterly delusional. That's like gaslighting yourself. It's also an example of flawed perceptions and expectations. It's our expectations of others, ultimately, that wounds us: expecting perfection, expecting an intimate and automatic understanding of our POV, expecting unearned unconditional love, expecting all the attention. Love people as you find them, and if they, in their own pain and rage, hurt you, love them from a distance.

Worse than this, though, is that anticipating injury from other people assures that this is all we'll ever get from them. Ever. Because everything they do will be an injury to us if we fail to see their intent and their focus. One of the last times my mom came to visit me here in New York, we were walking along the street and she said, in what was clearly a revelatory moment for her, "wow, people are really so focused on themselves that they don't really pay attention to anyone else." This was coming from a woman who agonized over what other people might think of her if she went out without looking perfectly dressed, perfectly coiffed, perfectly dignified, who was painfully self-conscious about how her disability made her look. I wish she had had more time to enjoy the liberation of that revelation. Because she was right about that. People are all dealing with their own pain, their own stuff, their own troubles, and hurting or judging you is not a high priority on their to-do list.

Unless they are so wrapped up in their own pain that they are going to lash out first, and there are some people who are that hurt, that broken. It's good to remember that it's still really not about you in those circumstance; if they are hurting and judging you, what they see  in you that they hate is almost always what they hate or feel insecure about themselves. Those folks have a lot of work to do that you can't do for them; all you can do is wish them well and get out of range. Because in their pain, they create more of it. This is what intentional, unexamined and institutional racism and sexism does to people. It creates a cycle of pain that needs work to be broken.

Again, this is why intent matters. If I'm hurting you out of maliciousness that's one thing; I need a slap upside the head and a boot in the rear. If I'm hurting you out of my own pain, that's more understandable but still not excusable; I've got some work to do on myself, then, and owe you an apology and an effort to do better. But if I'm hurting you by accident, because I'm learning to do better and still making mistakes, cut me a break please. Work with me. Call me out, by all means. I can't learn if I don't know I've screwed up. If it's really egregious, don't spare your anger. I can't rightly ask you to do that and I probably deserve it. But don't use my mistake to make judgments about what kind of person I am at the core, because then you're doing the same thing that bigots do. If you think I'm the kind of person who would intentionally hurt others, then we already have a problem of perception and reception on your end. And that's bad intent.

[beanenigma]

MAKE THEM FAT, YOU COWARDS!

A small guide to writing fat characters, by @beanenigma​

As a writer and an illustrator simultaneously, I have the incredible privilege of being a spy for both sides and comparing the community of both hobbies/jobs all in the comfort of my blog. And for a while I have been seeing something that makes me very happy: an effort from the artists to include bigger body sizes in their art - me included. But, on the other hand, I don’t see the same effort in the books I read except for tokens who don’t make that much of a difference to the plot and are only there for certain effects. . 

And even then, the only purpose them being fat serves is them being underestimated, weak, bullied or made fun of. So, with 20 years of being fat in my belt and having suffered through a lot of enraging fat representation in fiction, I compiled this list of things I would like you to remember when writing fat characters:

If you’re character is fat, call them fat 

Have other characters refer to them as fat. Have them refer to each other as fat. Fat is not a bad word… Unless you use it as a bad word. Going around the bush makes it feel like it’s something that should be hidden instead of a natural feature of your character, like being tall or blond. 

Getting thin is not the ultimate victory

 Nothing makes a fat reader feel worse about themselves than this narrative. Not everyone can or wants to get thin. And getting thin won’t fix all of their problems. Especially the emotional trauma of being told (and constantly reminded) the way you are naturally is unfit for life.

Also, getting thin shouldn’t be the only thing on their minds all the time. They should have hobbies and friends and other worries. And if losing weight is the only thing they can think about and plan for, they are probably sick and they need professional help. Eating disorders are real even if we don’t talk that much about them anymore. So keep watch on your characters if you didn’t intend them to be sick. 

Society? B*tch, please

Don’t blame SOCIETY. Society is an abstract concept made of people. People tell fat people shitty things and write shitty things in magazines and purposefully don’t hire them for TV and movies, not “society”. Name the enemy. We know who it is. 

FAT ≠ UNHEALTHY or UGLY

Fatness is not all the same. We are not all thin children that got fed McDonalds and somehow ended up like this. Some people have different metabolisms, genetic components, thyroid disorders, etc, but otherwise are perfectly healthy.

When writing AUs, science and historical fiction, remember in other times, fat had different social meanings. In renaissance Italy for example, the giocondas represented the wealth of the emerging bourgeoisie. Our ideas of fat are very conditioned to our place and time - that doesn’t make them the absolute truth.  

You don’t have to have one designated fat character. 

Make more! Make two! A hundred. Make secondary characters. Background characters. They are not points outside the curve, something that is wrong and should be handled like hot potatoes. They’re a large part of the world’s population (in 2013, there was an estimate of 2.1 billion obese people in the world). 

Choose the right bod! 

Like I said before, not all fat bodies are the same. The artists can help you with these and doctors can too, as well as women’s magazines (surprisingly). Choose your prefered body type keeping your universe and backstory in mind. also, personal choice, let’s normalize stretch marks, they’re so pretty and every girl has them, mention those awesome stripes please? 

Finally, fat characters are characters like any other - that also happen to be fat. They can and should have wishes, dreams, hobbies and relationships. The reader should be able to remember something else about them other than “fat”. Make them human. Please. 

Now, with that being said, being fat can be a great plot device as a physical obstacle towards some objectives. So here’s other obstacles for you fat character that would definitely be more interesting than what’s currently out there: 

Self-esteem issues

Not that we haven’t seen this before in media, but it’s normally caused by constant teasing and bullying. But the thing is that just like it happens to a lot of people with noticeable features, we are painfully aware of our weight at all times. There is really no need for someone to come up to us at our face and say “I hate you because you’re fat”, because we feel that constantly in everything that we do in society. Not that everyone lets themselves be taken by these kinds of stuff - I know some kickass models who couldn’t be more happy to have the body they have - but these things tend to collect a price on our self-esteem (big or small). So keeping that in mind might help not clutter your narrative with unnecessary violence. 

Medical negligence

I know fatphobia is a word people have a hard time believing is real (and I know it sounds weird), but it’s a real thing that happens. Just while writing this, I asked two friends and they both said that they had their concerns ignored by doctors that claimed their ailments would all be fixed once they lost weight. Both me and my mother had that happen to us as well. 

Not to say that weight can’t cause sickness (because it does), but people know their bodies and they know when something is wrong. Personally, I would find it hilarious if a fat superhero went to a doctor to try and find out what their powers mean, for example, and got out with the recommendation of a nutritionist. That’s some relatable content right there.  

Exercising is hard

I know. I know, it’s hard for everyone. But there’s a reason people tie weights to their limbs to carry around when exercising. It makes it harder. We’re carrying a lot more weight on our bones. Muscles get tired easily (and hurt after). Backbones are under a lot of pressure; feet are tortured; speed is decreased. So honestly, no need to trip on the way. Your fat character can run just as well as everyone else on the team, they’ll just get tired faster. Which is great potential for showing physical strength on their part, keeping up with them without showing discomfort. 

AGAIN, REMEMBER: Being fat not always equals being unhealthy. Not all fat people will struggle with exercise. You must decide what’s the case of your character. 

There are sports in which broader body types might be ideal - wrestling, for example - but they could also perform others and be good at it. And if you disagree, I’ll eat you. 

Clothes won’t fit/places don’t have their size

We all remember Mean Girls, when Regina gains weight and the lady tells her she should go shopping elsewhere. Sh*t’s funny, right? Not really. 

But this issue can go further than regular frustration during shopping. What if they want to be a cheerleader and there’s no money to get her uniform (despite them making the team and everyone else getting one their size?). Or, what if, as a superhero, they can’t find the right measures for a uniform that suits them? Or the right mold for knight armor? Or the right size of space suit to go out of the ship in a crisis? It makes you feel unwelcome, unfit, too much, even when people are doing their dang best to help. 

It’s a great opportunity for showing the perseverance of your character or introducing that awesome supportive character who understands. Still on the topic of clothes that won’t fit, here’s the places where normally there are issues:

Thighs and butt (mainly) 

Breasts (for inverted triangle girls, it’s common to have tight clothes at the boobs and loose lower). 

Arms (sometimes they fit but you can’t stretch your arms ahead or up without having the shirt going up)

Waist (and not necessarily belly; when things have a very slim waist, it gets crumpled and what’s down is projected by the belly.

Belly (if you really must)

Chairs are not suitable

Chairs don’t have to break to be mortifying to sit in. Personally, stools are terrible because my thighs go bananas over them. Swallow them whole, and I feel unstable. Some chairs simply won’t be comfortable because parts of me are not on top of them. Having to have someone bring you a special chair is humiliating. 

What if the spaceship was built for slender species? How about the conquerer queen who, upon looking at the pathetic small throne of the territory she just took over, splits it in how with her mighty swords while her new subjects watch in horror as she destroys millennia of history? 

So with those tools, I trust you will not be a coward and give us a thought the next time you’re thinking of your cast of characters next time.

Feel free to reblog this with your own aditions and follow me for similar content! 

[jessethorn]

Some Interviewing Thoughts

My friend is working on a book about how to podcast. He sent me these questions about interviewing and since who knows how much of my answers will actually end up on the pages of said book (which I will plug when it is time, I bet it will be great), I figured I’d just post them here, in case they’re useful to anyone. 

If you are not familiar with me or my work, I am the host of the NPR interview show Bullseye with Jesse Thorn (I am the Jesse Thorn of it). I also did a podcast called The Turnaround where I interviewed interviewers about interviewing.

Can you tell us something about your process?

I'm usually at least somewhat familiar with the guest's work - that's why we've booked them. Not always, but usually. So I have that advantage going in to the prep process.

I try to take a full day to prepare. If there's a book, I usually read it over the preceding week or so. If there's a movie or a show, I see it when I can. The rest I cram in before the interview. I don't have Lexis-Nexus (maybe I should?) but I go on Google News and search for as many news pieces as I can about the guest. I prefer big profiles and long interviews. I'll start with whatever's in the Guardian or the Times or the New Yorker, or online sources with deep archives like the AV Club. And I read as much as I can. Usually a few dozen things. Depends on the notoriety of the guest. I'll also read a bit about the work - film or book reviews, just to get other people's perspectives on it, see if there's stuff I haven't thought of. And usually at the beginning and end I'll read... wait for it... Wikipedia. Because it's usually better than people's bios, and it helps me remember the rough narrative of their life and work. I'll also try to listen to or watch at least one interview - maybe when I'm driving in to the studio. That just gives me a feeling of what it's like to talk to them, so I'm not surprised.

While I'm prepping, I keep a document open on my computer in a writing app called Q10 that saves a text file automatically to a folder that's synced across my devices. If a thought I want to make sure to ask about occurs to me while I'm reading, I drop it in there. Not usually in question form, mostly just a phrase, like "loves to play mandolin but isn't good at it" or something. Generally I'm looking to move past what other people have asked. When I read a response that my guest-to-be has to someone else's question, I'm thinking, "what does that response make me curious about?" I can figure out how to do the exposition to get there. And I'm often thinking in a way improvisers call A-to-C. There is a piece of information, I think "what does this make me think of," then I think "what does *that* make me think of?" It helps avoid obviousness. It's important to know how other people ask someone something, so you can ask something different or at least ask in a different way. Because generally you don't want someone's patter, you want a fresh, in-the-moment thought or reaction.

While I'm doing this, if I find media I want to incorporate or ask about, I send it to my producer, who's pulling clips. They'll give me a list of clips, including the ones I specifically wanted, before the interview, and I'll give that a look-over so I can remember roughly what I've got.

In the end, I have maybe a list of six or eight things I want to try and remember to ask about, a list of six or eight clips, and a lot of information in my head about who the person is. Once in a while, I'll have a question written, but generally only because it's something sensitive and I want to say it exactly correctly. Like a question about a crime someone was accused of or a time someone's colleague was harassed or a time someone said something particularly shitty. Those I don't want to be phrasing on the fly. Generally, though, it's just a few phrases so I don't forget to ask about a funny thing I thought of. I just interviewed the soprano Renee Fleming, and the list had "singer breaking wine glass: is that real" on it.

In general, I'm trying to think about a general outline for the interview - like "we'll talk a bit about the new thing first, then circle back to childhood, then through the biography" or whatever. And I'm trying to be curious and think about why they make the choices they do and what I find myself wondering about. Besides that, I want to know enough about the person I'm talking to that I can just focus on conversing with them. 

 What things do you think are most important or key to your ability as an interviewer?

I like and respect the people I interview. If they seem like an asshole, I don't invite them on my show. They're generally pretty brilliant, or they wouldn't be able to make the great art they make. So my job is to just meet them where they are and talk to them like a person. I probably show a bit more of myself than most folks at NPR do, who are more news-oriented or reporter-oriented, but my interest in the person sitting across from me is sincere. If I share something of myself, it's because I think it might be meaningful to them and help them understand that we are both people, and we're having a chat.

I also don't try to hide my interest behind posturing faux-impartiality. They're there at my invitation, I'd be a real heel if I'd invited them but wasn't interested in what they were saying. I listen when they talk, and react to what they say. I don't try to control the conversation except to the extent I need to do so to make a radio show. I goof around in goofy parts and respond in a humane way in emotional parts. And in general, I know that it can't go that wrong, so I don't really give a fuck. You only get one ticket, might as well enjoy the ride, as Devin the Dude raps. 

 What do you do to put people at ease or when you sense that they're' holding back? Is there a time you remember when that happened? 

I try to put them at ease when I meet them, before I even sit down at the mic. Or before we start if they're in another studio. That really is just basic human stuff. I come out of my office, go over to them, say hi, I'm Jesse. Shake their hand, smile. Let them know we're gonna talk for an hour or so, it'll just be talking, we'll make them sound great. For most guests if there's something that might be sensitive, I'll let them know it isn't live and if there's something personal they don't want to talk about, to just let me know. (That never actually happens.) Maybe I ask them something about their outfit or something I wondered that wasn't really for the air, like about a sports team I heard they like or something. Just talk to them like a nice person would. 

If the interview is rolling and they're holding back, I maybe ask them something friendly and surprising, something that makes me look dumb, maybe something silly. If they're really polished but not revealing themselves, I might ask them a question that requires a heartfelt answer - like I dunno... "are you afraid of death?" Mostly though I just know that I have some time and that if I talk to them in a nice human way they'll usually come around to responding in kind. 

 What do you keep top of mind when interviewing?

The person sitting in front of me. The actual conversation happening at that actual moment. 

 Could you describe how you go about preparing for an interview, and approx how long that process takes?

I went through it pretty well above, but as far as time goes - outside of consuming the media the person is there to talk about, their book or film or whatever, I'd say I try to give it at least six straight hours. And I'm very fast at it, since I've been doing it now for twenty years. Before it was maybe eight or twelve. But again: that's in the context of most of my guests already being very familiar to me.  

Was there a time when something totally unexpected happened during an interview? What did you do in response? How did things turn out?

I once played a clip for Michael K. Williams of a dance track from the 80s, this song where he'd appeared in the video. It was his big break. And I thought maybe he'd be happy to hear it, kind of amused, but he started crying. And he was in a studio in New York, I couldn't really tell if he was sad or hurt or happy or whatever. But I just let him do his thing. Because I didn't need to control the moment. I have him some time, and he shared some incredible memories. 

 Are there some people you look up to as interviewers? What did you learn from them?

I think Ira Glass is always very deeply interested in other people's feelings. It is absolutely sincere, and he just asks about them. On more than one occasion, I have had him ask me about my feelings when I was interviewing him. He obviously doesn't do the same kind of interviewing I do - he is really looking for a few illustrative or moving highlights - but the way he does that is very inspirational to me.

Terry Gross is extraordinarily modest. She is a brilliant genius, but she is always glad to highlight the guest and what is great or interesting about them. She also always asks for examples, always brings the conversation to specifics and stories when it could be vague.

I did a series called The Turnaround, where I interviewed interviewers about interviewing, and talked to all kinds of famous interviewers, from a variety of media. 

Susan Orlean, who writes for the New Yorker, can find a story anywhere. She just shows up and is extraordinarily curious and recognizes when something is interesting and pulls the thread. That's another improv technique - a scene is built on the first distinctive element. You spot it and you grow it. 

Larry King is always hyper-present. He did years and years of long live radio shifts. He absolutely trusts his curiosity. He told me he once asked a pilot if, when the plane took off, he knew it was going to land. He is unafraid of looking like a fool as long as he is following his curiosity.

Reggie Osse, Combat Jack, he knew everything about the subject he was interviewing people about. Everything. So he always had a little anecdote or a little insight that opened things up. His show was loooooong, but that was because he was always relating to something someone said about something in a club in 1998, and that led to this, and all of a sudden you're armpit-deep in amazing stories.

Jerry Springer really respects everyone he talks to, and cares about them and their story. Including folks who other people might laugh at or scorn or pity. He just goes in and tries to give them a chance to be heard.

Elvis Mitchell is a real critic, and he has more expertise in entertainment media than anyone I've ever met. I mean he knows more about his seventh-greatest area of expertise than I do about my first. He's really masterful at talking to artists about the actual content of their work. Themes and ideas. In a clear and concrete way. So many people substitute anecdote for insight, and I am very grateful for his insight. 

Marc Maron is like a genius puppy. He just pokes and prods and guesses, and he's so smart and is crackling with such energy that he finds stuff because people step up to meet him. He also is so raw, emotionally, that people just try to take care of him by sharing themselves.

Audie Cornish is astonishingly clear-eyed. She knows what she needs to know, she knows the context, she goes and gets it.

Howard Stern will just ask about anything. And you know he will talk about anything. So you feel obliged to tell him. And he always asks about the biggest and most important stuff. Like how did you lose your virginity or do you believe in God or whatever. He just does it and what are you going to do, not answer?

That's only a few, I could list a million more. I would say that something they share is that they are all actually curious. It is not a performance of curiosity; they want to know about others.

Are there any stories you could share of times when you learned some valuable lessons about interviewing? Do's and don'ts? 

I once interviewed Betty Davis, who is a legendary (and legendarily reclusive) funk musician. She was on the phone from Pittsburgh, patched through by her label since she didn't want anyone to have her phone number. And she was very polite, but very fragile-sounding. She hadn't done press in a few decades, and hadn't even picked up her ASCAP checks until a fan tracked her down and hand-delivered them. She gave me a lot of one sentence answers to my questions. It was really, really hard, but I remember thinking of something I'd read in Jessica Abel and Ira Glass' This American Life comic, which is that if you don't say anything, people will fill the space. So when she finished her sentences, I just waited. For a long time, sometimes. Like five or ten seconds, which is FOREVER. And every time, she added to her initial remarks. And that saved the interview. 

Another time I went to a fancy hotel in west Los Angeles to interview Bill Withers. He's done some press since then, but at the time he hadn't really done any in like fifteen years. He's older and incredibly smart and a little grumpy. And when I sat down, he kind of started giving me the business. Because whatever - I was a young white guy there being presumptuous enough to bother him, a guy who really had nothing to gain from the interview. And I remember at some point he was giving me a hard time and I kind of poked back at him, and he laughed, and after that it was one of the best interviews I'd ever done. I think just because he was like, "oh, this is a person, too. He's not an idiot, he's here because he cares, and maybe he's even interesting to talk to."  

What do you know now that you wish you'd known when you were starting out?

That it's going to be fine. I think I learned that from doing the Turnaround. Because I wasn't going to make money from it, I just figured I'd let myself off the hook preparation-wise and emotionally and so forth. Just let it go. And it was some of my best work. Because I trusted it would be fine, followed my actual curiosity, and talked to everyone like a person. Once my therapist asked me why I was anxious about interviews, and I told him I didn't want to mess it up and look foolish. And he said, "Does that happen?" And I was like... "No. I guess not." And he's like, "So, why be anxious?" And I was like, "CHECKMATE DOCTOR CARR."  

If there were one thing you'd like someone who's just starting out to know about interviewing, what would it be?

Be curious. Ask open-ended questions. Remember that whoever you're interviewing, whether it's Buzz Aldrin or Michelle Obama or Little Richard is a person just like you are a person. And enjoy yourself!  

[chaoscheebs]

Celdic Crew Group Chat Log

So, um, look, I had the urge to type out a fake chat log for Fie, Elliot, and Machias, because they’re probably pretty tight after what happened post Cold-Steel 1/early-ish Cold Steel II.  No serious spoilers I can think of, it’s just a roller-coaster of stuff.

Tl;dr their group chats are wild.

------

Fie: you see this is why i’m the only one of us who’s touched a boob

Elliot: Didn’t Machias technically touch one too?

Machias: WHAT WHEN?!?!?

Fie: oh yeah, in the windmill.  forgot about that

Machias: WHAT I DID NOT

Fie: you were sleeping.  you called me ‘jusis’ and went in for the squeeze. honestly you were doing a pretty good job, i was almost hesitant to smack you awake

Machias: WHAT

Elliot: Man, I still get why you did that, Fie, but did you have to smack him hard enough to make him elbow ME?????

Machias: THAT WAS WHY YOU DID THAT!?!?!?!?  WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!?!?!!

Fie: didn’t seem important

Elliot: Honestly, I thought you knew you were Mr. Hands in your sleep already after all the times *I* elbowed you awake too.

Machias: NO I DID NOT YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!!!!  I WOULD HAVE SLEPT FURTHER FROM YOU IF YOU TOLD ME!!!!!!!

Elliot: And let you freeze instead?  We knew the risks after the first night.  D|

Fie: nah he wouldn’t have frozen, it wasn’t THAT cold.  he’d COMPLAIN a lot in the morning tho

Elliot: Oh, yeah, definitely.  Especially since we didn’t have his terrifying favorite coffee blend available there.

Fie: lol yeah

Machias: MY COFFEE ISN’T TERRIFYING AND ALSO DON’T CHANGE THE SUBJECT

Elliot: Machias, it has a *caution label* on it to not drink more than two cups of it and you down the whole damned pitcher!  D: D: D:

Fie: it’s honestly kinda impressive, you really are unbreakable lol

Machias: CAN WE GET BACK TO THE POINT ALREADY?!?!?

Elliot: Machias, when do we ever get to the point here?

Machias: . . .  DON’T TRY TO CONFUSE ME WITH LOGIC HERE.  8T

Fie: lol

Elliot: *Anyway*, if we were really upset about it, we would’ve said something, but we knew you really missed your boyfriend, so…

Machias: HE IS NOT—I MEAN HE WAS NOT—ARGH THIS IS STILL HARD TO ADMIT NOW

Fie: that’s the other reason we didn’t say anything, you were EXTRA shouty whenever we mentioned him back then

Elliot: Truth.  You two going from *loudly* hatefucking constantly to actually admitting you *liked* each other was a long, wild ride.  A long, *LOUD* wild ride.  D|

Machias: JUSIS STILL TWITCHES HILARIOUSLY WHENEVER HE HEARS “THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO CELDIC” THANKS TO YOU TRYING TO MAKE US STOP BEING LOUD, BY THE WAY

Fie: so does alisa, she had some choice words about your angry midnight concertos too

Elliot: Oops.  She did kinda live above me, didn’t she?  I should maybe send her apology flowers someday.

Machias: THAT’D ONLY BE NICE.

Fie: i notice you’re not asking for flowers too

Machias: HONESTLY WE KINDA DESERVED IT.  ALSO IT WAS PRETTY FUNNY.  SERIOUSLY, SOME STREET MUSICIAN WAS PLAYING IT ON OUR LAST, ER, MEETING AND YOU COULD FEEL THE BARELY REPRESSED ANGER COMING OFF OF HIM, LOL.

Fie: lol

Elliot: Lol.

Fie: so did rean ever realize you weren’t playing unsexy violin ditties because you just love music that much?

Elliot: Not on his own, no.  Emma and I ended up talking to him about several things he was, um, overlooking waaaaaaaaaaaaay back before that school festival at the academy.

Machias: OVERLOOKING, MY BUTT, HE HAD TO BE WILLFULLY IGNORANT AT THAT POINT.  I’M PRETTY SURE EVEN MILLIUM HAD IT FIGURED OUT AT A GLANCE, HOW DID EVERYTHING AROUND HIM FLY OVER HIS HEAD THAT MUCH

Fie: lol wow way to burn yourself man

Machias: IN MY DEFENSE I’M ALSO BURNING JUSIS AT THE SAME TIME, WE WERE COMPLETE GARBAGE HIDING ANYTHING AND WE ALL KNOW IT.

Fie: true, lol

Elliot: Also in his defense, I was also talking about all the *other* stuff that flew right over his head.  Like the fact he kept taking me to *date spots* and also apparently witnessed Laura’s love confession to you, Fie, and completely didn’t notice.

Fie: eh, it was laura.  it flew over her head too for a while.  good thing she’s kinda cute when she’s clueless, lol

Elliot: It’s terrifying that Machias and Jusis were the closest to having their stuff together out of all of us back then, by the way.

Fie: absolutely horrifying

Machias: HEY

Elliot: It’s kinda true.  You two were at each other’s throats for a while there, man.

Fie: and not in the kinky way

Elliot: It’s probably in the kinky way now, tho’.  XD

Fie: no doubt lol

Machias: WILL YOU TWO STOP?!?!?  BESIDES DON’T YOU TWO HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO THAN RIP ON ME????????

Elliot: Not really; my schedule’s clear today.

Fie: the better question is don’t YOU have anything better to do than stay here and get dunked on

Machias: . . . NOT REALLY I’M WAITING ON JUSIS’S TRAIN TO COME IN

Elliot: Well, there you go.

Fie: aww, you have plans then?

Machias: NOT ANYTHING MAJOR, HE’S COMING IN ON BUSINESS AND I THOUGHT WE COULD AT LEAST SQUEEZE IN LUNCH TOGETHER BETWEEN THAT

Elliot: “Lunch.”

Fie: ‘lunch’

Machias: OH GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER

Elliot: So you’re not planning on finding a closet to fool around in, then~?  ;)

Machias: . . . . . . . . . SHUT UP

Fie: this is text

Machias: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!!!!  AND HONESTLY, FOR SOMEONE WHO KEEPS TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME BEING A HORNBALL, YOU’RE THE ONE WHO ALWAYS KEPT FINDING SOME DOROTHEE-LEVEL GAY SMUT, ELLIOT

Fie: it’s always the cute, quiet ones lololol

Elliot: Hey, Dorothee knew where it was at, guys; you’re all just mean.  :(

Machias: IT ALWAYS SURPRISED ME HOW SHE GOT AWAY WITH AS MUCH AS SHE DID WITH THOSE BOOKS

Elliot: Eh, when it sticks to just text, it’s hard to tell at a glance if it’s “clean” or not without reading the whole thing, and teachers don’t have time for that.  Thank Aidios for exploitable loopholes!

Machias: DIDN’T PROTECT ME WHEN YOU GAVE SOME “LITERATURE” TO READ.  8|

Elliot: That’s because it had illustrations; it’s hard *not* to notice when there’s pages like that.  Quality art, tho’.

Machias: . . . IT KINDA WAS

Fie: ok, first what book is this, and second why didn’t you share with me

Elliot: Because it got confiscated way back when.  It’s out of print now too to boot, dammit.  :( :( :(

Machias: RIP IN PIECES, LOVE’S FIRST BITE, PEPPERONY AND CHEASE

Fie: what

Elliot: Machias, get off the orbal net, we’re worried about you.

Machias: ORBAL NET MEMES ARE THE WAY OF THE FUTURE, DAMN IT

Fie: neeeeeeeeeeeeerd

Elliot: Turbo-nerd.

Fie: lord nerdlinger regnitz-albarea of the nerdlinger province

Machias: DAMN IT DON’T START MARRYING ME OFF WE’RE NOT AT THAT POINT YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Elliot: Too late, we’ve called Gaius, he’s gonna officiate the marriage.

Fie: he said ‘fucking finally, next we have to get rean and elliot to be a thing’

Elliot: FIE!!

Machias: HA

Fie: it’s true tho, you need to go kiss your husband already, elliot

Machias: SERIOUSLY, I NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY YOU TWO NEVER ENDED UP A THING, YOU TWO WERE SUPER-CLOSE EVEN BACK AT THE ACADEMY

Elliot: Rean’s not interested.  End of story.

Fie: did you ask him?

Elliot: Don’t need to.  If he couldn’t tell I was flirting with him, or notice where exactly he kept taking me, he clearly wasn’t into me like that.  End.  Of.  Story.

Machias: ELLIOT, WE HAVE ESTABLISHED REAN IS A HUGE DUMBASS IN THIS AREA.  ASK HIM.

Elliot: I.  Said.  End.  Of.  Story.

Fie: ouch, we found a sore spot  :c

Elliot: Look, I just… I don’t really want to talk about this, OK?  Rean’s never seemed super-interested in… anyone, really, and I doubt I’m magically going to be the exception, and I accept that.

Machias: . . . . . . . . .

Fie: …………………………………

Machias: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Elliot: … you really want to say something, don’t you.

Fie: not saying a word

Machias: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . OK LOOK

Fie: oh boy

Machias: I’D ARGUE YOU’RE THE ONLY PERSON HE’S SHOWN ANY SERIOUS INTEREST IN, ELLIOT.  HE TOOK ***ME*** TO THAT DUMB ROSE GARDEN THING FIRST AND I TOLD HIM IT WAS MORE A COUPLE’S THING AND HE STILL TOOK ***YOU*** THERE TOO.  REAN IS AN AWKWARD ***DUMBASS*** ABOUT THIS STUFF, ***ASK HIM***

Elliot: Machias…

Machias: BE DIRECT AND ASK HIM OUT.  IF HE SAYS NO, HE REALLY ISN’T INTERESTED, OK, FINE, GIVE UP THEN.  BUT DON’T GIVE UP BEFORE YOU REALLY TRY!!!!

Elliot: … ha.  Man, you really can’t stop yourself from talking, huh?

Machias: HEY, I MIGHT BE A DUMBASS ABOUT THIS KINDA THING TOO, BUT I’M A DUMBASS IN A STEADY RELATIONSHIP.  I KNOW THINGS SOMETIMES.

Fie: i can’t believe i’m agreeing with him, but for once, he has a point.  do the thing, go get you your man

Elliot: Fie…  Man, you guys…

Machias: DAMN, I THINK THAT’S JUSIS’S TRAIN.  SEE YOU LATER, GUYS.

Fie: have fun on your ‘lunch date’

Machias: OH DON’T START

Elliot: Yeah, later, Machias.  Um… thanks for caring?

Machias: THANK ME ONCE YOU’VE GOTTEN YOURSELF YOUR BOYFRIEND.  BYE!!

[MACHIAS has left the room]

Elliot: … he really doesn’t understand how severe that sounds at all, does he.

Fie: nope