#she didnt have a perfect life being the second oldest of 9

[ahsokaisawesome]

Hometober Day 3

Today's prompt was "a vision of home", based on the 3 months of living with my aunt Lossie [yes she's my godmother] in her big mansion-like house. Her bedroom was one of my favourite places to be, it was the ideal master bedroom in the early 2000s and it was quite hard to pick a colour for it, but the soft yellows from the morning light made it look like heaven to me as a kid. More detail under the read more, but otherwise hope you enjoy!

My aunt was a co-CEO of a law firm with my uncle, so they lived very comfortably and supported all of her kids through school and extracurriculars. My cousins had the coolest bedrooms, the basement was massive and decked out [you might see it in a later entry] and her backyard was large and ornate, and had a fancy gate that led into a forest trail. A large portion of my time in Calgary was spent idolizing her and all she had, she was the pinnacle of success to me. She fed me the large double chocolate chip muffins, gave me fancy vitamins and her home was so huge it was like discovering a new city to explore. But as stated, her bedroom was my favourite. It started with an inside balcony with a fancy little desk and chair that led you to a beautiful ensuite where she placed my daycare projects. [I felt like I won a gold medal in life when I saw them there]. Then these giant white double doors led to the bedroom, very spacious and brightly lit, and the slanted roof ceiling was the coolest thing ever to me. She had gorgeous decorations and fancy throw pillows, and it led into the biggest bathroom and tub I have ever and still have ever seen. The entire area was like a princess' castle and I felt spoiled when she let me walk around and sit on the bed to watch TV. I wore fancy dresses and lace-trimmed socks [any Latino will know what I'm talking about] and I battted my lashes at everyone I spoke to because I thought it made me more ladylike and I wanted to fit in with the fancy lady vibes of the house.

Looking back on it, those 3 months were very important to my formative years, learning manners at the table and how to speak English very quickly [to specify these 3 months took place right after Christmas from the last picture so I had just turned 4] so I'm thankful she was able to cater for us and keep us above water while my parents managed immigration stuff. However, I recognize as well that these memories while precious to my childhood, were built on a painful falsehood. My aunt married my uncle and assumed her position at that building through the marriage, a building my mom and dad were hired to clean while I sat in one of the break rooms reading or staring at the jellybean jar in a glass stand down the hall. My aunt used her kindness and goodwill to keep my parents in her favour, and especially bent my dad's thoughts to her side of things. While I loved going to her house for parties and family reunions and playing with my cousins, she continued her guise while talking down my mom and sister. She used my idolizing of her against them, and the whole house was a beautiful glass present wrapped in fancy antiques and overcompensation for the children she did and didn't bear. I loved that house, and the good times I had. But if I ever visit it again, I know for sure it'll be in a brand new light. It was the last sense of "home" I felt before I moved to Ontario and sometimes I feel a small little piece of myself still clinging to the deep brown doors of her home and the upper-class vibes of the neighbourhood I still look back on fondly. Who knows, really.

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

rabbit tour!

i just made a “shelf” so all my stuffed animals weren’t crowded on the windowsill and i used this as an opportunity to take pictures of all the ones i have with me so here we go!

this is artemis, a majestic and powerful silver rabbit with a very dramatic backstory

basically i was 5 hours away from home on a work trip and i saw her in the window of a shop BUT it hadn’t opened yet so i had to walk away not knowing if I would have time to get back to the shop before it closed, if someone else would buy the rabbit, or if i even had enough money to buy the rabbit in the first place 

the most I was willing to spend was $20, not because I don’t think this rabbit is a priceless artifact of beauty, but bc im a peasant and my job was technically volunteer work and paid less than minimum wage but ANYWAY i go on and on about this fucking rabbit to anyone who will listen, my coworkers are plotting ways to murder me that will look like an accident, but we get back to the store and the rabbits still there AND ITS ExACTLY $20 SO I IMMEDIATELY BUY IT WITH NO REGRETS BEST PURCHASE OF MY LIFE 

here are some little baby babies i have clipped to my backpack (can you tell i like rabbits???), the yellow one on top is bun might for obvious reasons

 the one in the middle is technically unnamed but i call him sergeant pez bc hes a pez dispenser and he was in one of my dads old military trunks for like a million years until he was cleaning them out and gave him to me 

the light green one is the newest addition, her name is mochi and shes so fucking soft you guys its like petting a delicate cloud 

these arent rabbits but theyre still valid so shut up, the black cat is named agugu (short for akutagawa) bc i was into bung/ou s/tray d/ogs at the time 

the panda in the middle was a gift from my roommate and her name is monochrome because i have another panda back home thats purple and her name is. purple. so i wanted to stick with the theme here

the white tiger is named at2shi after atsushi (from b/ungou st/ray d/ogs again) who can turn into a white tiger but also i already had ANOTHER non-white tiger that was named atsushi so this one is at2shi 

more wild thangs that arent rabbits!

the elephant is слон or “sloane”, слон means elephant in russian and it’s kind of pronounced like the name sloane so it’s a very deep complex and intellectual name, clearly. слон is a puppet that shrieks like the souls of the damned when you squeeze him and he was a gift from my high school russian teacher because i would be Blessed with the duty of making слон scream at students who were speaking english in class, he’s a good comrade 

the tiger is atsushi, im sure you can figure out his deal based on at2shi, i got him at the zoo and hes lovely

the red panda with the minnie ears might have had another name at some point but during my regrettable b/s/d phase i started calling him chuuya and it stuck, also now i put my minnie ears on him bc his head’s the perfect size so im more or less using him as a hat rack which is very on brand for chuuya actually

the purple sloth staring into the camera (and your soul) is gasloth leroux and i won him at dave and busters after re-reading phantom of the opera

(last batch of non-rabbits)

the bear in the snazzy tunic is radar, he was originally my mom’s as a baby and she gave him to me as a baby and since i dont intend on spawning im hoarding him forever #life hack 

yall better know who fucking kermit is 

aannnd we already went over слон in the last picture so! back to the rabbits!

welcome to the purple corner, friends!

the little all purple one in the back is sukie, and she is just baby, only little creacher, nothing can change that, she was a gift for easter i think two years ago now 

the purple and white rabbit with the pink nose laying next to the cardboard shapes is named violet and her fur is very soft and lovely but she has some kind of hard panel inside (she moves, maybe? idk) so not exactly optimized for cuddling, still shes a good girl

the hulking googly eyed purple yarn monstrosity is roundy blumbo and he was handmade by my terrible but talented sister @rattypants​

most of these are new arrivals because walgreens has easter rabbits out and some of them were literally only three dollars so yeah but anyway

the grey one with the pink bow is named toshi after all might (i got him about the same time as bun might so b/nha heavily owned my ass at the time) and hes absolutely perfect for cuddling, very soft and long

the blue one is named bluebell the second or “twobell”, when I was younger I had a really tiny blue stuffed rabbit named bluebell that i would take everywhere but one day i dropped it somewhere in or around a ymca and lost it forever and i literally did not stop crying for two whole days because of it, bluebell the second is a spiritual successor who hopefully wont get lost 

the one that looks just like bluebell the second but not blue is marshmallow, bluebell the seconds identical twin brother who was also 3 dollars because literally, THREE DOLLARS

the one with light brown fur and orange ears is named gingersnap carrot cake because I liked both names and couldnt decide and since i bought him around the same time as bluebell the second and marshmallow, he’s their mischievous older brother and together i guess that makes them the rabbit mcelroys 

now the round rabbit next to toshi with the floppy ears and a smaller rabbit with a green dress on its back is rose and bunnia, the larger one is rose, the mother, and bunnia is her daughter, they have a very close relationship as you can see

the small white and brown rabbit next to rose and bunnia is spenser, named after edmund spenser, creator of the spenserian sonnet, bc i bought her at a renn faire and thought she should have an old timey name, shes a literary icon 

now we’re getting into the old guard! all the rabbits in this picture (aside from carrot cake gingersnap whomst is a SLUT FOR ATTENTION) are all ones i got between the ages of 6-10, so theyre my day ones uwu

the brown rabbit with floppy ears is mocha, she was a christmas present when i was 9 years old and shes probably the most rabbit-shaped rabbit i have 

the rabbit with the bright pink scarf is beatrice (i dont have favorites except actually i do and its beatrice), I got her when i was 7 years old from goodwill and one of her arms was kind of loosely connected and started falling off which Horrified me and i tried to “take care of her” by using a bit of ribbon as a sling, eventually my grandma sewed her arm back on so then i used the ribbon as a scarf and ever since then beatrice has had a scarf of some kind  

the rabbit next to beatrice with the black button eye is wrinkly pinkly, who lost her eye in the warTM (it fell off years later but she claims to have lost it in the war anyway and shes old so everyone just goes along with it), shes very loose and as the name implies, VERY wrinkly which makes her fun to wiggle around 

the bright pink rabbit with the wide head is anna, beatrice’s mom and wrinkly pinkly’s sister, her husband griffy is back home so i dont have a picture of him but their story is very enemies-to-lovers (they were on opposite sides of The War) and shes a very ambitious and powerful figure in rabbitopia despite having hundreds of kids to raise #feminist icon 

the light pink rabbit with the yarn dress is madison, ironically named long before i even remotely knew that madison, wisconsin was a place that exists, and shes beatrice’s younger sister and shes very active and athletic but she also likes being pretty which is why i made her the yarn dress

cottontail (he doesnt actually have a tail) is the town drunk and a constant nuisance, his wife left him so now he’s always hoeing around and causing trouble for everyone (which is also what he did Before his wife left him), one of his legs is more filled than the other so he walks with a limp. his wife took most of the children except

darnell (the long pink rabbit lying down), who inherited her dad’s troublemaking tendencies and loves playing pranks and talking shit 

(last one, for all the zero people who are still reading at this point)

next to cottontail we have aminta in the green dress, i bought her at the airport and shes a very beautiful and distinguished young rabbit who madison is ABSOLUTELY gay for, she’s very proper and is being brought up by

hera nova (the white rabbit with the pink nose and floppy ears in the back) who is the oldest rabbit i have (Ive had her since i was at least 5, though she didn’t get a name until i was in my greek mythology phase a few years later), shes sort of a grandma to all the other rabbits and could absolutely destroy them all if she wanted to 

karoline (yes with a k, i didnt know the kardashians were a Thing back then) is the yellow rabbit with the basket, she works at rabbitopia’s most popular restaurant, the spinning carrot, and she is one of the three main chefs along with her sister 

bonnie, the pink rabbit with only one ear, she got torn up pretty badly over the years but shes still alive and still spinning those carrots!! (there was a third rabbit that worked with them named fritz who was white and holding an easter egg but i don’t remember what happened to her) 

so there we go! rabbits! lots of them! 

[kevkesblog]

Florian Rudy Interview (spring 2018)

Sorry for misspelled words. This was recorded before the world cup in Russia 2018 took place.

F:      My name is Florian Rudy. I’m 29 years old. And I live in Stuttgart.

N:     Who is your brother?

F:      Well, I have more than one brother. (laughs). The oldest is Sebastian. And I guess he is the one that this interview is all about. And then I have Felix and Maximilian too. And a sister as well.

N:     And your sister is older, younger?

F:      My sister is in the middle. She’s 19 years old.

N:     Did she enjoy being between all the older and younger boys?

F:      I think it wasn’t so easy for her in the beginning. Having three big brothers. She really had to deal with a lot. And I think she just handed it down to the youngest sibling and she was able to let everything out on him. But now I think it has alot of advantages. I think three big brother that protect her is always good.

N:     Really nice. Do you feel good today?

F:      Absolutely! I was really looking forward for this interview today! And I’m very motivated.

N:     Good. Well then tell us something about yourself. Back when you were little. How did you discover sports? Has football been already very present in your family?

F:      Yes football has always played a big role in our family. It has always been a topic of discussion. We are a complete football-family in that regard. My father played himself. I think he also played with Jürgen Klinsmann in one team. My mother was a football fan as well. She is from Kaiserslautern. She has always been on the Betzenberg (Stadium in Kaiserslautern) … so for us as children we had the perfect circumstances in that regard. And thats what they handed over to us as kids. We grew up with football from the very beginning. And we… I think I was five years old and Sebastian four – when we both started playing football. So those were the first steps we took.

N:     I mean if you are young have you guys – or you in particular – thought about doing different sports? I mean there are so many other sports you can try – other than football.

F:      Yeah sure. I would say football has always been our main sport, simply because of our parents. But my parents also insisted to try out other sports as well. We also played tennis and ice hockey.  But then slowly those sports took a step back in our lives and it all narrowed down to football again. Because we also made to the upper youth teams as kids around at VfB Stuttgart, where he went at a very young age. And then we didnt have enough time for other sports.

N:     But those changes in terms of sports – how does puberty play a role? I mean it is still very young…

F:      Sure. Sebastian was fourteen and I was fifteen years old.

N:     Leaving home at that young age – how was it like for you guys?

F:      Lets put it this way: at the beginning we didn’t leave our home immediately. Only our parents had to drive us to Stuttgart every day. Almost 100 kilometers…

N:     How about all the other siblings? Did they have to go with you guys… or were they brought to their grandmother? But it really consumed the daily life of the family…

F:      Absolutely! Sebastian and I – we were driven to Stuttgart for practice. The others were smaller back then, they stayed home. One year after that – my path took me to Kaiserslautern and so I had to move out my parents home at the age of fifteen. But that wasn’t a problem at all for me. I always wanted to go out and see the world and explore stuff. I think it was difficult for our mom though. The fact that the first son leaves home… yeah.

N:     Well you then have a lot of practice sessions; games over the weekends… did you develop other hobbys? I mean especially at that young age and if you want to explore the world… Or are you this much into football and everything? Because you have to pay special attention to your body and all… I dont think you were able to go into clubs until the early morning every now and then…

F:      Hm, well I think you dont pay that much attention to your body at that age. You dont listen as much to your body because you try to do more and more… and try everything. But football really dictated our day. It was only school, football, eating and sleeping… thats it.

N:     Did you expericence like mood swings? Having days where you woke up and thought „I dont want to do anything today“?

F:      I cant recall anything like that, no.

N:     Oh ok. It was pure fevor!?

F:      Absolutely. I mean it started very early. We used to get back home from school. Throwing away your school bags, grab your friends and went outside to the local football pitch and we played the whole day. I dont think many boys and girls do not do this anymore. Because of cellphones, I-pads and so on… but it was exactly like this back in the day. We played on the field, on the streets…

N:     Did you use like furniture or things at home to play football?

F:      Oh yeah! (laughs). Many! (laughs). Especially if we started playing in the living room with dad. And then my mother came from the back and yelled „Stop it!“ (laughs). Back in the day, we even took the playpen of your youngest brother Maximilian and try to kick the ball into it from everywhere in our house. (laughs).

N:     How many pair of shoes did you need over the year with all this football playing going on?

F:      Absolutely. Every few months we needed new shoes. Also because our feet grew. We needed new ones all the time. And those pairs usually wear themselves off very quick.

N:     Do you remember back in your rooms… did you have – especially from the national team or german football – posters of any big idols or role models? Or players that where very special for you? They don’t have to be german (laughs).

F:      No, well I have to think. I for my part had a jersey and a poster of Cristiano Ronaldo. Sebastian has always been a Leverkusen fan. He had Leverkusen bed linen and he one poster of Bernd Schneider in his room.

N:     I guess its always a dream coming true if you suddently end up playing with or against these player or team for that matter. Sounds exciting…

F:      Absolutely yeah. Its like a dream if you witness something like that.  

N:     Do you have a certain kind of nickname for each other?

F:      (smirks) Yeah, my brother has a family nickname which I dont want to reveal (laughs). But just „Basti“ or “Sippi” thats what his teammates call him regularly. And mine is „Flo“ like many can guess.

N:     Did you have a favorite dish at home? Is there something that just bonds you and him?

F:      Nothing in particular. But back when we were kids, we used to have Maultaschen. That was really our favorite food. We used to have competitions on who can eat more Maultauschen. And this lead to a situation once, where my father intervened because Sebastian already had – I think – nineteen of those and he was scared something bad is about to happen to him. (laughs).

N:     Oh my… stomach pain! (laughs)

F:      Yeah exactly (laughs). But he said he could have eaten more.

N:     Ahm, you yourself also used to play football for some time. And also successful. So how has your path changed? Did you reach physical boundaries? Or how did you experience it?

F:      No not at all. I’m very fit today. I quit playing football at 26 years of age. Thats my personal dead line I had set myself. Because you want to play in the Bundesliga or Second Division around that age – I was playing Third Division and thats were I decided to quit. But I’m still very fit physically like I was back then. But in the end it was a decision about my future. What happens down the road? What do you still want to accomplish? What do you want to do next? And thats were I put an end to professional football.

N:     But wasn’t that more of a decision of reason or was it more like lovesickness and… I guess you still play football, right?

F:      No I quit football completely.

N:     Completely?

F:      Yes, completely. But of course I didnt stop doing sports. I did a lot of fitness training. Running. Going to the gym. I tried out many other things. I once rode my bike 200 kilometers home from Hoffenheim. Or I ran a marathon – so I tried these things as well.

N:     How was the marathon experience?

F:      It was a cool one. I got to know my personal boundaries.

N:     In what time?

F:      I think it was around four hours… I have never trained for a marathon.

N:     But four hours is an impressive time…

F:      It was a quick reaction.

N:     Where did you run?

F:      I for myself ran in Heidelberg. I just told some of my buddies on Friday „Hey I will run a marathon on Monday“ and I never ran a longer distance than 10 kilometers before. So I did it.

N:     And you weren‘t able to walk for three days after that?

F:      I was injured for eight weeks after that. (laughs)

N:     (laughs). I know stories of people running a marathon with no preparation.

F:      Yeah, I really wanted to proof to everyone that I can do it. And I did. But of course I haven’t thought about the consequences about things that can happen or go broke afterwards.

N:     So you also closely followed the development your brother. Did you follow him all the way? Where you with him? Or to put it differently: will you go to Russia to see him play?

F:      Sure. We will fly to Russia with our whole family yeah. Or I will be there – sure.

        (9:56min)

N:     Are you excited?

F:      Sure! It’s his first world cup. That itself is special, but playing your first one is even more special I think.

N:     Do you think of something special as a family in Russia?

F:      Actually we haven’t thought about it yet.

N:     Your relationship with Russia? Have you been there before?

F:      Yes during the Confed Cup. I flew over for the final with my mom and dad and my brother Felix. We watched the final. We saw Saint Petersburg – a great city! Very nice city. But thats all I can say about Russia.

N:     So you there’s a lot more to come…

F:      Absolutely. Since I like to travel anyway and I like to explore the world… I always enjoy seeing new cities.

N:     So what about yourself. Where are you now? You started to study. What did you study?

F:      Right. I started to study sports business management after I quit playing football. And I tried to position myself on as many different fields possible. I went to Hoffenheim and trained with Julian Nagelsmann. I was part of his coaching staff with the U19 team. And I went through all branches there basically. Yes and the studies. So thats how I tried to position myself as good as I can. I also started an apprenticeship as a personal trainer. And last year I started an consulting agency with Christian Nerlinger.

N:     And you are consulting football players… ?

F:      Yes, for professional football players. And Sebastian is one of them – of course.

N:     Has this always been part of your life? Didn’t you at one point… or let me put it differently: when you were five years old, what did you want to become initially? Like firefighter? Doctor? Pilot?

F:      Well, the big goal has always been being a professional football player.

N:     So then, when you started with your studies, it had to be something with football?

F:      Not necessarily. My major at university doesn’t really has to do alot with football. Sport generally has always been important to me. And I needed a break for a while, once I quit football as a player. I was really burned-out I have to say. And thats why I wasn’t able to watch an awful lot of football shortly afterwards. But after a while I was fine again and I was able to watch football in a comftable and relaxed manner.

N:     Your brother became father just recently.

F:      Correct.

N:     Sounds like it’s going to be difficult to play now and being away for a long period of time. Or do they travel with him?

F:      His son is with his wife. And yes she takes care of him, since Sebastian is away very often and she isn’t able to travel alot yet. She just gave birth a week ago. And I think he was very happy to go back home right after the game of the national team recently.

N:     That’s a new treasure…

F:      Absolutely! Its a complete new chapter in his life. Not only for his life, but for us as a family as well. My parents became grand-parents for the first time. I became an uncle for the first time. A special moment – yes.

N:     How do think the tournament will go? Is there something you wish?

F:      I wish my brother gets enough time on the pitch to play. And hopefully Germany plays an successful world cup.

N:     Do you think you will soon carry a fifth star on your jersey?

F:      Thats a difficult… ahm… alot oft hings have to work out perfectly at the same time. Sometimes you need luck. Your performance on a specific day. How do the other teams do? It’s really tough to remain world champions – it would be nice if it would work. That would be a giant event – giant miracle. But I think it’s going to be tough.

N:     Do you have secret favourite team to win? Is there a favourite team or are we all in for a surprise?

F:      I dont think there’s a secret favourite. The Spanish team is strong as usual. I think they will play an important role.

N:     Well, then lets keep our fingers crossed and hope for a good world cup. And that you will be successful in your personal goals.

F:      Thank you very much.

N:     And what do you wish for yourself in the next couple of years?

F:      For me personally?

N:     Yup.

F:      There are alot of things on my personal agenda this year. I just recently moved in together with my girlfriend.

N:     A new chapter for you?

F:      Yeah, I mean we are in a relationship for a couple of years now, things have changed since we only live together for about half a year. In a positive way. And I’m very excited to contine to go down that path. My girlfriend also starts working now. She works for Daimler. A totally new chapter for her as well. Then we will see how my personal development will progress – with my agency. Many exciting things to come – for sure. And then let’s see how planing in terms of family will go. (smirks)