#she didn't care much wether she was considered a boy or a girl

[seleneprince]

Mulciber: So, are you a boy or a girl?

Sevrina: I'm a fucking mess

[teammelodies]

So I got a bunch of undertale soul OCs

And I decided that I'm gonna share them with the internet in order of creation.

The Patience Soul

Hope (she/her)

She's the first of the human soul OCs I have, I've had her for years at this point. She's a sweet little girl who's happy to sit and wait when she's told to. She was blind, and her parents couldn't afford to care for her, so they had to give her up to the orphanage with the plan to earn enough money to be able to take care of her (sadly, that would never happen). Her ribbon was the last gift she got from her parents before they died tragically.

Now *initially* I didn't consider whether Hope would be a pre-undertale soul (before the game) or a post-undertale soul (after the game). Buuut I do have a basic idea of how she would've fallen underground if she was a pre-undertale soul.

See, not every human is a good person (there has to be a reason that Chara didn't like humanity, after all), and not every kid in the orphanage that Hope stayed was very nice to her. Some of those kids were cruel enough to bring Hope up the mountain and push her down.

The Justice Soul

Astrea (she/her)

She is the first Soul I made after Hope and was made very recently, much like the rest of the souls. I made her on whim, really, and the rest of the souls followed. Took some inspiration from Starlo with her poncho, and as a nod to Clover (and the omega flowey fight), I put a clover on her hat.

Something I did with Astrea and all the other souls is find names that mean whatever their soul trait is. "Astrea" comes from Astraea, the Greek goddess of justice. (It's also a spacey name, which gave me a good excuse to put stars on her poncho)

Clever, right?

Anyway, much like Clover in yellow, Astrea goes up the mountain in search of the humans that went missing before her.

The Perseverance Soul

Perry (he/they)

Perry is one of those bookworm types with a passion for writing and journalism. He carries a notebook everywhere he goes, so he's always able to write down his thoughts. (Kinda like me, except I carry paper around to draw with LOL)

Perry (at least of the site I initially found it) is a gender neutral name that's a "playful take on perseverance", but it also means traveller, pilgrim, or "one who dwells by the pear tree" which is neat too I guess.

Being a journalist in the making, Perry most likely went up the mountain to write a story about the monsters that live there, to get the truth about what they're really like.

The Bravery Soul

Casey (they/them)

Casey is one of those kids that will sock you in the nose if you do something to hurt their friends. The first thing they'll do is punch you. They aren't afraid of getting in trouble. (Ngl, they do seem to dance on the line between brave and reckless sometimes, at least in my mind... idk, still developing their character a bit)

Fun fact, when making Casey, I had *no idea* what wether I was gonna make them a boy or a girl, and in the end, I decided on neither.

Casey's name means watchful, vigilant, and brave.

They probably went up the mountain seeking adventure, not sure tbh. Casey and the next two souls are the ones I haven't fully figured out reasons for going up the mountain yet.

The Kindness Soul

Winnie (she/her)

Winnie is an absolute sweetheart, as you can imagine with her being the kindness soul. And, of course, she has a passion for cooking.

Winnie's name doesn't *directly* mean kindness. It means fair and pure (or that's just one meaning)

She probably went up the mountain to find some ingredients.

The Integrity Soul

Olive (They/Them)

I wanted to do something different with Olive because most of the versions of the integrity soul I've seen were all girls, so I decided to try and make a boy. But of course, I ended up changing them to look like they could be either gender (not that Olive would really mind if they're misgendered. I'm thinking they're more fluid than anything.)

Olive is one of those people who usually has their head in the clouds, if that's the right away of describing them. (They're sort of like a Luna lovegood type of character if that helps, but a little more chill?)

I actually chose the name "olive" because I kept seeing the name "oliver" and I thought I'd go for something more gender neutral.

Olive is (of course) a name derived from the olive tree, which "signals a time of integrity and peaceful power, when we are being asked to own the decisions we made"

Pretty cool.

I have no idea why Olive would go up the mountain.

Okay, so then, if these characters are the humans that fell before frisk, how would they lose their souls?

I will take a note out of UTY's book and say that, presuming they were all pasifistic, all of them gave up their souls willingly.

I think doing this would fit their soul traits, too.

Hope gives up her soul, knowing that she'll be helping to free the monsters with a little patience

Casey gives up their soul to help the monsters stay brave

Olive does it because they think it's the morally right thing to do, showing integrity

Perry does it to help the monsters perservere

Winnie does it out of kindness

And much like Clover, Astrea does it to bring them justice

(Okay so some of the reasoning might be stretching it, but still)

Delving into a bit of AU territory

Something I like to think happens as well is that every soul that dies becomes a ghost that follows the next soul that falls, so the first Soul would be alone, the next soul would have the first soul, the third would have the first two souls, and so on so forth until frisk who has seven ghost children (including chara, who was awoken by frisk's determination) following them around.

And then when the souls are used to break the barrier, they return to their bodies, and they all live together with frisk.

"But how would that be possible?" I hear you asking, "How come their bodies are still healthy enough to return to?"

Mmmmmmagic!

If anyone wants to know more or have any questions about these guys or the "Souls AU," feel free to ask!

Bonus images

[tetsunabouquet]

Heir To The Lands Chapter 6

Webs of Doubt And Frustration Masterpost

Janus had reported the whole event to the queen, how the First Heir's powers only seemed to work on an instinctive level, and that he clearly seemed to value the little girl that had been with them. What he did not tell, was the strange sense of familiarity he felt when he saw the boy. Like he knew the boy. Janus couldn't help but feel like there was a resemblance, and whilst he knew his father's family was all dead, he did not know much about his mother's extended family. Could he be related to the First Heir? It was a question he had not expected, and one he might not want to find an answer to. Ash was the most important thing in his life, aside from Clary, and their plans were too important. Family or not, that boy would die.

The group nearly got Catarina to have a heart attack when the Portal suddenly appeared out of the blue in the living room. The blue skinned woman took in their distressed faces and as she saw Jem clutching Emma, her centuries long nursing instincts took over. She rushed to the patient. "What has happened?" She asked. "Faerie hunters attacked us. Emma seems to have been wounded with some sort of poison." Tessa said as she laid Emma down gently on the couch, Catarina making sure her head was properly supported. They worked together flawlessly, like the old times were they were war nurses together. Emma was in good hands. Kit, inhaled deeply before he went up to Ty and Julian. No matter what had happened, he couldn't stand the sight of seeing Ty looking so distraught in his living room. "You can trust them. Catarina is one of the best nurses on the planet and Tessa is the most dependable woman I know." Kit said, slightly flustered at the embarrassment of saying it out loud. Tessa smiled at his words.

Within the lands of Faerie, Livvy had quite easily gotten lost. Not that it mattered, the strange nature of Faerie's time somehow meant her bond with Ty wasn't affected, no matter how long she would venture. That, at least, was a comfort. Which Livvy definitely could use in this mess of a place. It was pretty, and absolutely gorgeous. She couldn't deny that. At first, she had just been unable to walk, mesmerized by everything and wanting to see every little detail. She thought Ty would love this place. Livvy didn't knew who sent the soldiers, but considering Kieran was nog king, the primary suspect was the Seelie Queen being out for Kit. But the Seelie Court wasn't that easy to find, as it turnts out. She really could have appreciated a guide, or a map. At this point, she was already sure she had been travelling for about a week, and there was still no Seelie Court or even some kind of road sign. She could cry tears of frustration about now. It was only by chance of luck, that she heard a pair of frustrated goblins from a distance. "My sister was supposed 'o be 'ere by now, but no, the lass has still yet to arrive." "It is all but that Nephilim boy's fault!" "Aye, if the Queen had not captured 'im, her desires would not have deluded her." Now that caught Livvy's attention. The Seelie Queen had captured someone? She raced towards the direction the goblins appeared to have came from, wondering if it would lead to the Seelie Court. She passed an endless number of trees bearing Faerie fruit, motivated with new energy. She kept going, she had to. Who knew who the Queen had captured, and wether they were in any danger. Suddenly, Livvy noticed her enviroment began changing, became more refined. She halted, and started moving forwards in a more careful approach, trying not to appear noticed by anyone. Stealthily, she crept forward through beautiful shaped bushed, lush flowers beds. Livvy then knew, where she was. This must be the Seelie Court's garden.

[eurydices-carnation774]

Stars shine the brightest during a supernova

this is crossposted from ao3

warning there is one misspelling i only corrected on ao3 and not my notes so i dont remember where it is, ignore it

this fic is gonna be 10x better if youre listening to first love/late spring from mitski while reading it

also if you take this in a shipping way i will personally murder you

as much as we dont want to admit it, the most powerful moment for everything in the universe is when they are the most vulnerable. The most common example of this would be a supernova, a stars death. As dust clouds drift away from their original position, the former star gives off bright light, light so bright it would blind you the moment you looked at it.

humans are no exception of this fundamental law. we never see someone truely, until they finally let themselves be vulnerable and break down.

this especially was the case for one person, Yoshi Nanase. Everyone knew him as Nanashi, nevertheless, everyone had separate opinions of him. Some thought he was weird, some people loved him, may it be a little too much. Out of all the people he knew and had grown to care for, only 2 people knew him, or atleast, one of them believed she had known him.

Misane had known Nanashi for awhile, wether it was in the year 2230 or in the year 2222, she believed she had known him. She couldnt have been farther from the truth, until the day she had finally gotten Nanashi to break down and finally let himself be vulnerable around someone.

Almost everyone knew Nanashi wasn't alright mentally. From his comments about him hating himself, to the small comments hes made about how much he had been bullied. What most people didn't know though, is that even with his small comments on his mental health, very few people had seem him when he let himself be vulnerable.

The truth was, even with how much he loved everyone, not everyone had loved him. After he had dropped out of middle school due to bullying, he had learnt to hide his emotions from people, all so he wouldnt get hurt again. If he let himself be too vulnerable, he would just end up back where he started, being bullied to the point he was constantly coming home with bruises and other small injuries.

up until summer, the only person he had ever let himself be someone vulnerable around was his cousin, Mikado. Of course, Mikado already knew Nanashi was hiding his emotions, they were the same after all. Mikado couldnt say anything though, not like its easy to tell your younger self youre from the future.

But, that one summer, had changed everything for Nanashi. Who wouldve guessed finding a girl in your bed one day would change the entire course of fate. Misane was also pretty aware of Nanashis mental problems, but not as well as she believed she did. She had known him in the future, but the version who she was standing next to in the control room at the top of the 307 tower right now, was a completely different person.

"The control room is up a head"

They were in a comfortable silence up until this point, so the sudden words caught the white-haired boys attention. Why say something now?

"hm? Misane-chan?"

The shorter girl lowered her head ever so slightly, before turning to Nanashi "first let me apologize," She had started "I hid many things from you. Even if it caused you to hate me, even if it caused you to lose trust in me... I did it wholly out of the desire to help you, Nanashi."

Obviously considering how much Nanashi had loved misane, albeit platonically, he didn't get the comment. He couldnt hate her even if he wanted to. What he also didnt get, is why Misane had gone out of her way to help him so often.

"... why?"

"What I feared most was... that you would choose to vanish from this world. That... that was scarier than anything."

Nanashi let out a small, sad, laugh before continuing the conversation

"No, I was wondering why you went that far for me?"

"well, thats as I said before." Misane quickly caught on to the fact Nanashi wasnt alright in this moment. "...it was quite embarrassing to say"

"Still, if that troubled you, Misane-chan... If it made you unhappy, I'd hate that"

Nanashis expression quickly changed. He almost immediately went from the usually happy, yet off putting guy, she thought she had known, to finally showing how he truely felt. His voice tone also changed with him, normally it was very bouncy and higher pitched, but, he had lost the spark in his voice.

"I dont want to meddle to much in people being happy or not. But I couldnt stand it if I was responsible for troubling them," The taller boy had glanced away from her before continuing, "It wouldn't matter if and when I vanished. Like everyone says, I'm worthless. I don't think anything of being unhappy, I dont mind"

Nanashi had tried to add a small laugh onto the end to make it seem more lighthearted than it was. Though, it almost made it sadded.

It was obvious to Misane at that point he was lying. She knew he was affected by how people thought of him, no matter how much he lied and said he wasn't bothered.

Nanashi had finally looked back to her, "so why..? Dont be so nice to the likes of me"

"... Is that all you wanted to say?"

"I dont have a name. I dont have a 'me'. I want to fit in like someones lost puzzle piece"

"All pieces have their own shape. Even you.... have one"

Nanashi had began to slowly back up from her, out of instinct.

"I know. The more time people spend with me, the more they begin to feel a certain feeling. one they didnt start with."

Everything Nanashi had started saying hurt Misane, more than his self deprecating comments already did

"And thats fine. In fact, its correct! I dont know why theres something wrong. so it must be myself whos wrong"

He began laughing. Not in a cute or funny way, but in a way that made Misanes stomach clench. She hated how he can go on about stuff like this, then just laugh. For Nanashi however, he was only laughing to keep himself from crying.

"Out of billions, im all alone. It doesnt matter i f I exist or not, does it?"

"Are you done!?"

Misane had stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. Nanashi had stumbled backwards, he wasn't exactly expecting her to pull him into a hug like this.

"...misane-chan?"

She had moved her chin onto his shoulder, it was comfier for them both. Misane had continued to hold him like that in silence for a few moments to give him time to process the sudden embrace from his best friend

"I told you before, I like you. So I want you to know sorrow from happiness! It wouldnt be any burden at all on me!"

Nanashi had finally returned the embrace, even if not fully

" You aren't worthless. Someone said you were just like a program - but he was wrong!

Nanashi, you're just clumsy, a little slow, overeager"

Misane had finally begun to slow down her scentences.

"A little cowardly... and too kind. that's all"

"no... dont do this. I don't know what to do..."

Nanashi didn't know how to react. He was so used to everyone constantly making fun of him or physically hurting him. He wasn't used to actually being cared for.

"I dont know what I'm supposed to do here... what is this..?"

"thats your heart. Its your self" Misane was releaved she had gotten through to him. Even if it pained her in the process

"You arent nameless. Youre Yoshi Nanase! the Yoshi Nanase... who I... love. ... You can show yourself. More and more of yourself!"

Nanashi had wrapped his arms tighter around her, properly returning the hug

"So can I... laugh?"

"yes"

"can I yell?"

"yes"

Nanashi knew what he wanted to say next. even if he was terrified to. He had buried his face into the smaller girls shoulder

"well... can I... cry?"

"yes."

[irepookie]

Infinity

Summary: QUEEN AU where Roger (akaRow) is a teen single dad and aspiring rock star

Warnings: fluff fluff fluff and some cursing.

Words: 2090

I changed the names Cause I feel more comfortable writing it that way (idk why) but I could re-change them if that'd help you getting more into the story.

Rowan Queen: (tho you can imagine Ben as well. This is my take)

Chapter 1: I'm here

Written from his mother's POV, which gives us some insight on the family background and history as the first day of the rest of their lives unravels.

Gina Marie Queen (neé Thomas) had always been ahead of her time. She was never a fearful woman. Not for men anyway. She hadn't had a father -that alcoholic piece of shit was nothing close to that.-

And for all she knew, she hadn't had a husband either -another waste of space-. She had finally kicked him out hers and her son's life after 10 years of hell when that drunk asshole's rehearsal fits had made her lose the daughter she had been longing for since she could remember.

He could throw plates at her, and she'd fight back burning his beloved match tapes. Or intoxicate his food. Those were her favorite paybacks.

He could verbally abuse their son, and wake up with pink hair the next day. (Rowan's idea when he was 10)

But the night he had pushed her and she had broken waters at month number 5, that was it.

It should have ended earlier, she knew. Her unborn daughter shouldn't have had to suffer the consequences for Gina to finally throw his shit out the window and soak them in the Jack Daniels bottle he hid under his side of the bed and light them with the lighter he'd switch his bloody cigars.

But unfortunately that's what it had taken.

And she would have strangled him in his sleep if she had known Rowan would be taken care of while in jail. But she wasn't. And someone had to think of the rebellious trouble maker too.

And when her son -yes, she decided that rebellious trouble maker was, more or less, worthy of the title despite being the spitting image of the his father- became a father, Gina feared her granddaughter would have the same fate. Row had it in his genes and , as much she had tried to raise him as best as she was capable of, that fear never faded.

So when the phone rang

"Rowan Queen?"

""I'm his mother"

"I'm from the Hospital's maternity aisle. We call to inform you that his daughter's mom has disappeared after giving birth..."

That was all she needed to hear before dropping the phone and leaving it hanging upside down

"ROWAN EUGENE QUEEN! GET YOUR FUCKING ASS HERE THIS INSTANT!"

"I've got rehearsals with the band..."

"YOU GOT SOMEONE PREGNANT, YOU IDIOT??!"

"Me? No!"

"WELL THINK AGAIN!"

"Mum..."

"Just got a call from hospital saying your daughter's mother has disappeared after birth!!! And they called us!"

He was high school's infamous Playboy. Blonde, Blue Big eyes, and a charming smile. And on top of that, one of the four members of a wannabe rock band. The Hot Drummer, they call him .Gina knew. She didn't need to hear about his reputation to know the likelihood of him getting someone pregnant was high. But she had pictured it differently.

She grabbed him by the wrist and pulled, but he didn't move. He kept staring at nowhere.

"Rowan!!!"

No reaction.

She had to slap his cheek in order to get him out his shock

"What do you want?!"

"We're going to hospital, right now"

"What? Why?"

"To work this shit out!!"

"But we have to rehearse"

"Fuck that shit Rowan! They've just told us you got someone pregnant and she run off! That's the most important thing right now so get in that this instance!!"

He did as told. It was a tense car ride. And Gina remembered Elsa. Her baby girl. And how for her father's fault she wasn't there.

"So what now?" Row asked

"We're putting her up for adoption, unless they can contact the mother, although I don't think she should have a say. But if you're the so called father and your name is in the file, we can leave your part signed and then go home."

"Oh"

Gina thought she caught a hint of disappointment in his voice.

It had to be her imagination. Disappointment over what? Missing the wonderful experience of being a teen dad? Ha.

He did look thoughtful. He hadn't even turned on the radio.

Something was off.

But she figured he'd just want to get this whole thing over with, and that he'd sign her over to a better family. As anyone with minimum common sense would

Right?

Then, as they waited for the application, he asked if he could see her.

Her answer was immediate "No"

"Why?"

"How come Why? Why on Earth would you want to see her?"

"Well I'm here. You've been freaking out , and freaking me out as well. Might as well see who this fuss is about"

"A baby. That's it. You don't need to see one. They all look the same. Small, Wrinkly, like a large prune. There you have it"

"Well I wanna see my... That small wrinkled prune"

Damn. He had said <<mine>>. He already considered her his.

Gina changed her strategy.

"Your name is on the certificate, right. But that means nothing"

"Why would it be there otherwise?""

"A mistake. Or maybe the mother just wants to tangle you up."

"The mother's gone"

"Yes. For now. It's called Baby Blues, and when it's gone She'll have you exactly where she wants to. Because I'm guessing she won't be no straight A student either, and you'll have to sustain them both -if you ever make it to college- and you'll end up getting married, and maybe you don't even love her, but divorce is even more tedious than getting married. That's why I've Never done it. So you'll both be stuck as cashiers in whatever low cost store, and then she'll confess that you were her high school crush but that the kid is actually her ex boyfriend's and then you'll throw a fit, and you'll get in a fight and you'll end up grabbing whatever is on your reach to hit whoever's on your reach...."

"Wait mom. I just... I just wanna see her." Row cut her off " Whoever the fuck she may actually be, I'm the one who's here. And I ain't signing anything without knowing who I'm making decisions for. That's all. I just want to see. I don't even want to touch her or whatever. Just knowing who's the reason I had to turn the boys down today. Then I'll sign the paper and we'll go home."

"She's in the NICU anyway. Doubt they'll let you in"

"What's NICU?" Gina caught genuine concern in his voice.

"Nothing bad." She reassured.

They handed the files, and she took them "I'll fill them"

She got through the first page, and he was gone.

Shit. That stubborn bastard.

She didn't want him to be a father. He was 19 for fucks shake. Had never had one of his own. He had only moved out a couple months ago. Nothing lasted much for him. Wether it was a girlfriend, a job, clothes... His longest pet had reached one year alive. And he couldn't go long without getting injured

Not even his drum kit had survived the move, and was litterally patched up. She'd consider herself guilty of murder if she allowed a baby to be on that list. Not to mention the alternative was that she'd be the one, sooner or later, to take over. Because he was never patient and would stress too much -if he didn't lose interest first- or get fed up and cause her shaken Baby syndrome. And just as she was too young to be a grandmother, she was too old to raise a second kid.

So she stormed inside the NICU aisle ready to get him out of there. And what she saw was quite breathtaking. The look in his eyes was priceless: such fondness and marvel... Only comparable to when he had first seen that red Ludwig drum set through the glass of the local music store.

"I've never seen something so awesome in my life!" He had said.

They had never been able to afford it. He had tried to get a job after school, to save up everything. But it hadn't been enough. And he'd go everyday to that street, and just stare at the shiny wonderful kit for hours, hands on the glass, knowing that the likelihood of ever owning it was almost non existent.

He ended up making acquaintance with the owner. They tried to bargain for it, but his lowest price was way too high for them. He did get to play it once tho, and it was an undescribable experience. Murray, the owner, let him give it a try out of pity when someone else bought it, as a farewell. And had never seen anything like it again.

Now this baby was, technically, his -regardless of what biology could say- and he was about to give it away.

Gina did know on first hand it was, having been a volunteer on midwife assistance with her aunt. And 10/10 woman who swore to never want anything to do with their child changed their minds as soon as they laid eyes on them. Only those who really followed through -take it away, I don't wanna see it- walked out there with empty arms.

Now Row was looking at that baby ad if she was a treasure, but that meant nothing in the long term. His father had done something similar to Elsa's sonogram.

Her poor little girl. So young.

So helpless. She had been so naive thinking he would ever change.

But she wasn't gonna make that mistake again. She loved her son, but he really wasn't good at anger management.

She couldn't expose another innocent child to such danger.

"Rowan, come here now. You've seen her. Got what you wanted. Met her. Now let's get this over with"

His hand was resting on the top of the incubators glass, even if he had unglued his eyes from the tiny being inside and nailed on her now, as if he had been staring at the sun for a long while and was now blinded.

"Why the hurry?"

Was she hearing correctly?

"How come Why the hurry? Because we both have things to do"

"I've already cancelled the one plan I had..."

"Well I still have an errand to get done."

He didn't reply, eyes back on the child

"Rowan" she approached him, making sure not to look at the kid. "Rowan Eugene Queen, look at me when I'm talking to you" she ordered in a strict tone

"What?"

"Papers. Signature. Now"

"I'm thinking about it"

"Thinking about...?! Thinking about what? What's there to think? Sign these and we'll go home, and we'll never have to look back at this! Nobody has to know."

"And what about the raisin?"

"The what?"

"Her. What about her?"

"She'll be fine. Adopting couples love newborns. She'll go to a fit, nice marriage and will be very happy. And we'll resume our lives"

"And I'll never see her again?"

"Why do you care?"

He just shrugged and turned his attention back to her. Gina watched him watch her. Goddamn. She was losing him.

"Are you the father?" A nurse asked, walking towards.

*Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it*

Gina prayed.

"I suppose I am" He said it so naturally, with such a bright genuine smile that Gina almost forgot how critical those words were.

"Well, I'm Callie, and I'm on charge tonight. Congratulations, Mr... Oh, Queen." Her eyes widened When reading the tag on the incubator. "We're glad at least someone's here"

"Yea, well..." He scratched the back of his head nervously

"Don't worry. Her mom will get over it." She turned to Gina "You must be Gran..."

"No I'm not" Gina snapped harshly before she could finish the sentence "We were leaving"

"We were not"

"Rowan, I will not repeat it. Sign those bloody papers and get your ass back in the car"

"What if I don't want to?"

"This is serious! There's no other way!"

"Yes there is!"

"You can't be serious!" What 19 year old would ever choose this?

"Well I am"

"You don't even know what serious means! You have no sense of responsibility! You've never finished anything you've ever started!"

"Maybe I want to change! Maybe I can grow up if you stop pestering the shit outta me day In day out! This is not your decision!"

"I'm not letting you do this Row!"

"Then go! Leave me the fuck alone and stop getting in my way!"

Before Gina could answer, a small cry came from the incubator.

And she found herself walking backwards.

It was right she couldn't stop him but she wasn't gonna take part on it.

So she turned around and left, as the nurse explained Row how to hold his newborn daughter.

"You're not gonna break her, I promise. You'll do fine. Because you're here. Just because you're here I know you're gonna be a great dad. You already are" Callie said, putting his trembling arms on the correct position before lifting the small white bundle out the incubator.

They usually didn't do it unless it was necessary for a feed or a change, but she thought this was even more important: they had to meet each other properly: The little one needed to hold on to someone after being abandoned. And there was something in the young boy's eyes that told her he needed just the same.

So with a reassuring smile Callie placed her on Rowan's arms, who brought her closer to his chest by instinct, a small smile already on his lips as he took in her features.

She was gorgeous. And he didn't know why, but he found her to be the most perfect thing he had ever seen. He instantly knew he was gonna protect that wrinkled prune at all costs.

"Hey there, lil'raisin. I'm..." He swallowed the lump in his throat "I'm your Dad and... I'm here now."

🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

Hope you guys liked it

It's my first fic on Tumblr so I still don't have the formatting completely handled and my phone won't let me select all the paragraphs at once to put it all in regular font.

Let me know what you think. Thank you all!!😍😍😍😍

~Pookie

[depressedbutoptimistic]

"what makes you think you're transsexual?"

Oh the usual,

The way that looking at the curves of my own jaw can make me want to grab a knife and cut it to a more square jawline.

The fact that the day I was called "Sir" twice in Starbucks, by strangers, was one of the happiest days of my life.

The nights I've spent crying, bleeding, in the shower, wondering why I can't stand wearing skirts.

The serious consideration I once put into cutting my own breasts off.

The pounding in my head that makes me feel like I'm going to implode when I try to force myself to be the girl people want me to be.

The nights I lay in bed crying because I have to hold myself still so I don't literally Cut Off My Breasts.

The way I fantasize about a flat chest.

Memories of being 12 and getting angry because I wasn't growing facial hair like my friends.

The churning of my stomach and the acid I taste in my throat when I have to choose a bathroom in public.

The way my palms sweat while I wash my hands and try not to think about how anybody in a public bathroom might get aggressive or violent because they don't like Transgenders.

The way I feel like choking while I make a 5 second descision as to wether I trust a complete stranger not to physically attack me because they don't approve of my identity.

Memories of being 8 and telling myself that one day I'd grow a penis like my brothers, that I was just secretly a boy. Whispering to myself that I just had to wait for the day everyone else would find out, and keep it secret until then.

The feeling of tears streaming down my face when I realised I wasn't going to grow the same way my brothers were going to.

The way I cried alone after I was told I couldn't wear my brothers wolverine or spiderman costumes outside the house.

The anxiety I had that I would have to be a girl in the school play.

The way it stings when my mother tells me it hurts her for me to take her daughter away.

The way it burns to know my mother wants to take me from myself so she can have a daughter.

The thoughts of suicide I get when I think about how no matter how sure of myself I am, people like you will always make my life difficult because I exist.

The Fire In My Heart That Makes My Otherwise Timid, Stuttery Voice Rise Strong When I See Somebody Hurting another member of the LGBT Community.

The Absolute Ecstasy that I feel reading Vaughen written on gift tags, in a handwriting that once scribbled my unfamiliar deadname.

The warmth in my heart I feel when my best friend hold me in his arms and calls me, "Brother."

The absolute giddy feeling I get when Im called a, "Boyfriend."

The absolute comfort I felt in my 8th grade science teacher dressing in Drag too during a show with me, during my senior year.

The little tears that start to gloss over my eyes when a child tells me, "I think I'll start to call you bro, since you act like a boy anyway."

The way I cried when I put on my first binder, and the euphoric realisation that this really was the answer.

Of course, you probably wouldn't get it. You don't actually have any emotion invested in why I think this. You don't care how I feel, or how it feels for me to read this on a positive post about my identity. On December 21st, 2018, you didn't care that I might have been having a bad day, or that my only solace was knowing that at the least if I posted this on Tumblr my grandmother wouldn't call me a tranny, a dyke, or otherwise insult me.

You must not have considered that this December, people who you insist on berating may be struggling with mental illness. You must not have considered how difficult is can be to be LGBTQIA+ during the Holiday season. Nobody told you how much more likely Transgeder people are to commit suicide. Maybe you're unaware that during the winter, major Holidays such as Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas and New Years encourage kindness and goodwill.

You won't apologise for the negativity you're putting into the world.

So the real question I have for you is

What Makes You Think You Deserve The Answer?

What makes you think people deserve the negativity?

What makes you feel you need to do this?

Why Do Trans People Have To Prove It To You?

If you ever want to have a real conversation, my private messages are always open. That goes for anybody reading this.

I'm just glad I'm more sure of myself than to really care about your opinion. I'm glad I can use my voice to let others know that it's okay not to be cisgender.

Cat

Being boyflux is like you have a cat and that cat is your gender and then sometimes he leaves the house and you have no gender but you still have a hiuse and nothing else in your house changes

but sometimes he comes back and has dead mice for you and you cry and the mice are dysphoria.

Thank you for listening to my ted talk, send tweet.