#she deserves her own book and movie and I am not even kidding

[sketching-shark]

never apologize for yuebei xingjun posting!!

Hell yeah anon! This world needs more large and powerful monkey yaoguai women <3

[sunshinemoon3341]

I JUST LISTENED TO THE ENTIRE ITHACA SAGA SO SPOILERS AHEAD

The Challenge:

We start off with a Penelope song! And I swear she eats this up!!! She only has 2 songs but she goes crazy with the vocals!!! Her voice is genuinely like lotus, I am just absolutely entranced and just cannot stop listening for even a moment!!!

Penelope saying “husbands old bow” while the suitors say “old husbands bow” is subtle but so meaningful and shows how differently they think of Odysseus!

The “Waiting” callback from the underworld!

————————————————————————-

Hold Them Down:

I’d listened to sneak peaks and snippets from like a year ago but hearing the actual version!!!! Antonious’s voice in this song is insane!

Don’t you dare hurt my baby Telemachus!!

What is their problem with his bones!!! “You’ll have run out of bones to break when you and I are through”(Little Wolf) and “Hold him down while I slowly break his pride, his trust, his faith, and his bones”(Hold Them Down)

The way they talk about Penelope gives me worse shivers than the beginning of Thunder Bringer. But it’s also very telling of what the suitors actually think of Penelope!! They don’t care about her as a person. They just want the crown, and the power.

Bye bye Antonious!!

Overall great villain song. One of, if not, the best I’ve ever heard. I feel conflicted about liking this song because the lyrics are so dark but the song itself is sooooo good!!!

————————————————————————

Odysseus:

Right off the bat, I love the name. The only names in song titles are monsters(Polyphemus, Scylla, Charybdis) so the title being “Odysseus” indicates that he has become some sort of “monster” and that’s a really cool form of symbolism to show it!(you can also hear the monsters names in the background throughout the song)

DO NOT talk about his family like that!

I like the “Where is he?”(Legendary) reverberation. It’s a nice touch!

He stole their weapons!!! This is some Athena level stuff!!

“You don’t think I know my own palace? I built it!” no notes! That line is one of the most perfect lines to ever grace Spotify!

It’s interesting that the suitors asked for mercy. They know as well as Odysseus does that if he didn’t show up who knows what they would have done!! It’s more of an attempted trick than it is an actual apology.

The way the suitor suggests “open arms” and Odysseus doesn’t even let him finish!!

Odysseus shows his cleverness and why he deserves the title “Warrior of the Mind” in this song.(though he is clever in many other songs).

DONT YOU DARE TOUCH TELEMACHUS!!!!!

Again with the bones!!! “I’ll break the kids hands”. Just leave the kids poor bones alone!!!

That voice after Odysseuss says “mercy”!!

This song was brutal, perfect and I get why Athena told Ares the Odysseus “wanna gonna make everybody b|eed”

————————————————————————

I Can’t Help But Wonder:

Heartbreaking!! So cute!!

They both just want to be good enough for each other!! They missed each other soooo much!!

I’ve never cried during any movie, play, book, anything and got almost got me

ATHENA!!!!

The Queen has returned!!!

All the “Warrior of the Mind” callbacks!!

She’s sorry for what’s she did to him! She feels like she turned him into this. This is the the closest thing Athena’s ever gotten to an apology.

He forgives her(or close enough)!! He’s not gonna dwell on all the things he could have done differently, he just wants to see his wife!!

————————————————————————

Would You Fall In Love With Me Again:

Again Penelope ATE THAT UP! I still cannot get over her voice!!

She acknowledges that he’s a bit different but to her he’s still the love of her life!!!

THE WEDDING BED!! Odysseus seems hurt when she asks him to move it. She proved that he’s still the same man!!

The “Waiting” callback again

So cute, so romantic, so beautiful!

————————————————————————

Perfect ending. After everything he sacrificed he was able to get back to the people he did it all for.

10/10 no comments, no suggestions, absolutely nothing!

I’m so excited to see what everyone does next!! I hope Epic grows bigger than I could ever imagine!

I still think the play should have ended with “And that’s my Journessy”

Tysm for reading my little rant

[phantaloon]

okay okay im finally finished with both eps and here's my genuine opinion

the cast is 10/10, every single one of these kids knows exactly what they're doing and WHO they are, i can't imagine anyone playing each character better than them

the slight change in Sally and gabe's dynamic gave me a bit of whiplash at first, but the second time watching it, i kinda really dig it better than the books

the way they're portraying percy's feelings of inadequacy and the whole "i know I'm broken, i don't need you to make up stories for me"? fucking devastating, but it fits so fucking well (i can't remember if this is shown as deeply as it's shown here)

sally jackson is the most badass mfer and i fucking love her she is the godly parent fuck poseidon

it's been said before but sally calling percy perseus when she wants him to listen >>>

LOVED how they gave us the impression of percy having riptide while facing the minotaur, only for them to take it away (not really but percy didn't know that) and having percy face the minotaur book style rather than movie style

ANNABETH SAYING PERCY MUST BE THE ONE I SCREAMED

i am fucking loving the way they're doing percy's rage, like maybe it's bc i don't remember it as clearly in the books, but it's so raw, and walker does an amazing job portraying it, but the whole part where he offers food (a thing meant to be for gods) to SALLY, king behavior fr, and that monolog about making his father see them?? actual goosebumps

leah does such an amazing job portraying annabeth's indifference and apparent arrogance, i can't explain how much i love her, like she does it so subtly, it's just little gestures, but she IS annabeth chase (this felt especially cooler after seeing her in interviews, where she's actually really shy irl)

im not going to lie here, and like im sure it was done on purpose anyway, but i am feeling it kinda rushed, and I get it really! they won't waste time in the many chapters spent during camp introducing the world to us, when they've got few episodes, and the whole quest to showcase instead, but like, i would have loved to see percy training with luke (and besting him) and annabeth showing percy around camp (second time we've missed that) and idk just some fun little details, but like i said, i understand why they HAD to rush the intro, so I'm not upset about it or disappointed, just smth to notice

having said that, i really did love the bit of luke guiding percy through several activities trying to figure out his "calling", the callback to percy's horrible archery skills is 10/10

annabeth's yankees cap is fr a yankees cap and im crying

i nearly forgot, but im loving the nightmare sequences, i love how they're keeping the "voice" so faceless and shapeless, but just a light in the darkness of a nightmare, and really it's a great figure, bc a light in a nightmare is usually a good thing, it's the thing you run towards, and it's usually smth that helps you, but here, the light in the darkness is anything but good (quite literally) and he literally taunts percy, and fuels his fear and bitterness, and ugh I love it

the whole capture the flag sequence is 10/10 as well, i can't explain how much this healed me, just like annabeth leaving percy to be bored to death on his own, when she was right there, the transition between luke's "percy's got this" and percy doing the fucking floss dance? cinematic masterpiece, and like the fight sequence was really well done and crafted much much better than many others that rely on slow mo or weird angles, like the fight with clarisse and her spear was gold

dior's scream as percy breaks clarisse's spear alone deserves an emmy

leah portrays annabeth so effortlessly and naturally, I've said it before but i love her

i got like 10 seconds of annabeth interacting with percy and i can already see them together forever ahdjdj

overall 10/10 will rewatch again and again and again bc I'm in fucking love even if it does feel a bit rushed at times and there was the same lack of the hellhound as the movie

[inkinmyheartandonthepage]

Family Induction

Day 26 of Flufftober and the prompt is "I can't find it." You can read it here on Ao3. And you can read the prequel here.

“I can’t find it,” Buck huffed, teetering into his closet on his one good leg. He had already knocked over several coat hangers, his jackets now a crumpled heap on the floor. He was too frustrated though to attempt to pick them back up.

“Careful,” Maddie said, drawing Buck back before he could face plant into his clothes by the belt loop of his jeans.

Buck hopped backwards, landing on his mattress with a bounce. He stared up at his sister with a pout. Her bruises and cuts curtesy of Doug Kendell had mostly faded, now easily concealed under makeup. They could almost pretend like it had never happened, if it weren’t for the bulky cast that Buck still wore around his leg. That had been six weeks ago, and Buck still had another two before he could ditch it.

“Now, what are you looking for?” Maddie asked, turning to survey Buck’s closet.

“My white button up,” Buck huffed. “It’s my only good shirt.”

Maddie turned to give Buck a fond look. “Evan. You don’t need to dress up for dinner. It’s just a barbeque.”

Buck flushed, looking down at his lap. “I want to look nice for your family.”

When Buck and Maddie had been released from the hospital, Maddie had insisted that Buck stay with her. She had her own apartment, whereas Buck was in a share house.

“We can recover together,” Maddie had insisted.

Buck wasn’t about to say no, not when his sister had finally come back into his life. Her boyfriend Chimney and his friend and co-worker Eddie (and Buck still flushed at the memory of calling Eddie whoa while high on hospital narcotics) had offered to collect some of Buck’s clothes from his home and bring them over to Maddie’s.

In the six weeks that Buck had been staying with Maddie, the 118 had filtered in and out of her home, allowing Buck to get to know them. Buck got to see firsthand the family that Maddie had found for herself.

Chimney, who not only doted on Maddie like she deserved as she recovered, fetching her food, and comforting her, but doted on Buck too. Doug had never liked Buck, had never tried to get to know him. Just thought of him as Maddie’s annoying little brother. But not Chimney. He asked Buck about his travels and about the garden centre where he worked. He joked and teased with Buck and brought him books to read. He always included Buck when they watched a movie and had even helped him in and out of the shower a few times when Maddie had returned to work.

Chimney’s captain, Bobby had come around with his wife Athena to make them dinners and had stayed to share the meals with them. Buck imaged that this is what it was like to have dinner with parents who actually loved you. Buck couldn’t even think of the last time he had sat down to a meal with his parents.

Bobby and Athena had helped Buck with his insurance and had helped let his job know that he would be off work due to injury, making sure that Buck still had a job to go back to once he was back on his feet. Bobby was kind enough to teach Buck some cooking tips when Buck had raved about his food, admitting that he mostly lived off take out.

Hen was like another big sister and immediately made Buck feel comfortable. She beat his ass at Mario Kart and told him wild stories about some of the calls they had been on, making Buck laugh.

The visits Buck enjoyed the most though were from Eddie and his son Christopher.

“We match!” Chris cried out joyfully when they had first met, indicating to the pair of crutches they were both using.

“Your way better at using them than I am,” Buck had grinned. “You’ll have to give me tips.”

Buck had always loved kids, but there was something about Christopher that was just so special. He was wicked smart, with a cheeky sense of humour and a sunny disposition. Chris didn’t treat him any different with a cast on, and either did Eddie which just made the man all that more attractive. It didn’t help that Eddie was sassy, funny, kind, and generous. He had quickly become the best friend that Buck had ever had.

The first time Eddie had invited Buck over to his house, he had been surprised.

“Come on,” Eddie had smiled at him, all loose and soft. “I bet your getting cabin fever being at Maddie’s all the time. Besides, Chris wants to show you all his Lego’s.”

If Buck wasn’t at Maddie’s, he was at Eddie’s and Buck had never found a place that felt like home more than the Diaz’s living room.

Buck had been invited to one of the famous Grant-Nash barbeques and Buck wanted to make a good impression on the family that Maddie had made herself.

“Evan,” Maddie said softly, drawing closer to Buck. She perched on the mattress beside him, taking his hands in hers. “They’re your family too.”

Buck shook his head. “Come on, Maddie, we don’t have to pretend,” he said quietly.

Maddie squeezed his hand tightly. “Who is pretending?” she demanded.

Buck shifted, blinking wetly. “Chimney is only spending time with me because of you.”

Maddie scoffed. “You met Chimney because of me but that doesn’t mean he’s forcing himself to spend time with you. Did you know he has been researching rehab for you so that once you get your cast off, he can take you? And asking what kind of things you like so that he can treat you after a hard session?”

Buck lifted his head up at that. “What?”

Maddie nodded firmly. “Him and Hen have already got recommendations for you through their contacts. They are going to let you choose which one.”

“But – but why?”

“Because they like you, Dummy,” Maddie said fondly. She brushed her fingers over Buck’s birthmark. “Ev, it wasn’t me who Bobby has been teaching to cook. Chimney said that Bobby spent his down time at the station looking through recipe books for things to teach you.”

Buck felt something warm bloom in his chest.

“And, okay, Athena was going mumma-bear on both of us,” Maddie admitted with a laugh. “But I have it on good authority she only does that to the people she loves.” Her smile turned into a smirk. “And Eddie certainly wasn’t coming around to keep me company.”

Buck ducked his head, cheeks flushing hot.

“And Christopher absolutely adores you,” Maddie continued. “And I can see how happy you are when you spend time with them.”

“I – I like the Diaz’s,” Buck said. “They’re the best people I’ve ever met.”

“They let you be yourself,” Maddie said quietly, a hint of sadness in her voice.

Buck had told Maddie one night as they were tucked up on the couch together about his life since he left her in Hershy. How he had travelled from place to place, just looking for somewhere to belong but had never quite found it. How he had friends, but there was nothing meaningful about them. How he slept with a lot of people but had never found love or had been loved in returned.

“I just want to be accepted,” Buck admitted quietly. “You’ve got this great family and – and – and I want that too. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“And you have it,” Maddie promised. “Yes, you met them through me, but they loved you before they even met you. You can ask them. I never stopped talking about you.”

Buck chuckled. “Yeah, uh, Chimney kind of told me.”

Maddie squeezed his hands again. “See. And I know it might be hard to believe right now but I promise you, they love you like I do.”

Buck nodded, blinking back tears.

Maddie soft smile turned sly. “Well, Eddie might love you a little differently.”

Buck nudged Maddie, letting out a went laugh.

“Now, I can find that shirt for you,” Maddie said, standing to her feet. She moved to Buck’s closet and reached inside, pulling out a blue polo shirt. She turned and showed them to Buck. “Or you could put this on and make Eddie droll over your biceps.”

Buck grinned, flashing Maddie a cheeky smile. “’suppose it will be pay back for watching Chimney drool over you.”

Maddie laughed, a pink flush spreading across her cheeks. “Yeah, well, I’m drooling back. He’s so cute!”

Buck made a face that had Maddie slapping him on the shoulder playfully. When Buck was finally dressed, Maddie helped him to her car, and they made their way to the Grant-Nash house.

When they pulled up to the home, Eddie and Chimney were waiting out the front of the house for them. When Maddie parked, she shot Buck a knowing look making Buck roll his eyes.

“Shut up.”

Maddie cackled she got out of the car.

Buck shoved open his door swinging his legs out. He got his good foot on the ground, the cast legged hovering slightly in the air. In an instant, Eddie was there, flashing Buck a bright smile.

“Hey. You guys made it.”

“Yeah,” Buck grinned back.

“Eventually,” Maddie teased as she opened the back door to retrieve Buck’s crutches. “We had some wardrobe issues.”

“Don’t listen to her,” Buck said to Eddie. “She’s crazy.”

“What does that make you?” Eddie asked, cocking his head to the side, smile teasing.

“Probably just as crazy,” Buck admitted.

Eddie chuckled, reaching out to grasp Buck’s hand. “Well, you know what they say about the crazy ones.”

Buck’s heart fluttered in his chest as Eddie heaved him up, a hand going to Buck’s waist to steady him as he gained his balance. When Buck had his crutches under his arms and was secured, Eddie shut the car door for him, and they made their way into the Grant-Nash home.

“Buck,” Bobby greeted warmly when they made it to the living room. “Glad you could make it. I’ve made that lemon and garlic chicken we were looking at the other day.”

Buck felt his mouth water. “Really?”

Bobby beamed. “It’s on the barbeque as we speak.”

“Hang on, you made food for Buck?” Chimney squawked, looking between Buck and Bobby. “But when I ask for fried chicken –“

“Or that Mongolian lamb,” Eddie added.

Chimney snapped his fingers. “Exactly! You say you don’t have the time. But Buck here asks, and he gets it? Favouritisms, really cap?”

Bobby shrugged, placing a hand on Buck’s shoulder and squeezed it gently. “He helps me in the kitchen and is willing to learn. When was the last time you two helped me in the kitchen?”

“Eddie got banned after he burned water,” Hen smirked as she drifted past, drink in hand.

Buck grinned as Eddie’s cheeks went dark pink.

“I thought we agreed to never talk about that,” Eddie hissed, shooting Buck a panicked look.

Buck caught Maddie’s gaze and she nodded at him, giving him a soft look, eyes sparkling.

In that moment, warmth flooded Buck and his breath hitched in his chest. Because Maddie was right, and he never should have doubted his older sister. This was Buck’s family too. He had finally found home.

[itsnothingofinterest]

I think that the LoV deserves to win in the Final War because if they win, they will be able to create a world for themselves. The Heroes never meant to deserve to win at all considering the fact that most of them are morally corrupted (like the HPSC) and they are more interesting when they lose all the time.

If Spinner were able to win against Shoji, that would prove that his point will be always right and he would be able to save Shigaraki. If Toya succeeded, it would be the punishment that Endeavor deserves for abandoning his eldest son. If Toga succeeded, she would be able to do anything she wants. If Tomura Shigaraki wins against Deku and destroys Deku along with the entire Hero Society, Tomura Shigaraki would be able to have peace with his friends.

If I may be allowed the opportunity to rant: I'm sure some will say this is crazy at this juncture of the story but honestly? I get where you're coming from. Or at least 90% of it.

I mean for starters, I sympathize with the League far more than the heroes (no surprise from a villain fan). I think they’ve earned the happy endings they want after how hard they’ve struggled against the towering odds they’ve faced, an area which I feel they far surpass the heroes. I want them to win, I want them to prove the strength of their bonds, all that fun stuff for them.

And just logically, if you look at the worlds both sides are trying to make…the villain's world kinda seems better? Because after all, isn’t the plan to just take the current world, tear it down, and rebuild it without a whole bunch of its glaring flaws? The easy world Toga wants where kids like her don’t fear for their lives. Where corrupt heroes like Endeavor and bigots like the CRC aren’t left to their crimes. In a warped way, they’re almost like young All Might.

Compare that to the status quo the heroes want back, the very one that brought us here, which I don’t see much reason to root for. I mean even if you say “but all the people who’ve died”; first off, I swear mha civilians frequently act like horror movie victims so I can only care so much for them. But if I did, they want back the very status quo that led to all that death in the first place so…it feels like it’ll just lead back here again. A return of the status quo? This chaos is part of the status quo by now, you sure you want it back?

(Granted this is all hampered a little bit by Shigaraki’s sudden decision to sink the country and really where did that come from? Did Tomura just say that to appear more inhuman? Did Hori make him say that to appear more threatening? Because that kind of interferes with a lot of the League’s goals y’know. Sure he doesn’t want to give the status quo loving heroes a chance to rebuild what he destroyed, but society still needs replacing as part of the plan. The PLF are still supposed to rebuild according to their desires. I may make a post about just this plot point soon.)

Not to mention that I totally get what you mean about the heroes not narratively earning a permanent win here. Not only have they as a whole not really developed and surpassed their old flaws, but just the fact that they’ve been doing their own war crimes in this arc (when you’re really supposed to stick to your morals and beat villains by the book against make-the-world-better-by-extreme-measures-type villains) really makes me think they just don't deserve the win because they kind of can’t be trusted going forward. I mean the final arc's supposed to show where everyone is ending up; how they'll be in the future. And the impression being left is that the heroes, even the kids to enough of an extent to worry, have shown the same corruption we know the HPSC for.

About the only thing I disagree with out on is that I don’t want Deku specifically to die. He can be, to put bluntly, a self-righteous moron about things he doesn't understand at times, and can be a bit of an AM clone a lot of the rest of the time; but I'd hardly wish his death for just that. Especially since it seems any hope for the heroes side not repeating their mistakes rests on him pulling his head out of his arse and getting a clue on how to be better than All Might. Not that I think that'll happen anytime soon, but that's why I keep insistently hoping for an MHA part 2.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Sorry I took so long with this. Mix of being busy with real life and being in a writing funk. Which is why this may not be my finest post either. Hope you understand.)

[talaok]

I’ve dreamed of this (pt. VII)

Summary: You are a part of the BAU, and for the longest time you and Dr. Spencer Reid had been best of friends, even when it was clear to everyone else, and at times to you, that you should be more than that, and when something almost happens on a night out with the team, everything is destined to change.

This is a double pov story (each chapter will be alternated between y/n's and spencer's pov)

Chapter summary:  You can't sleep and you find yourself turning to spencer for help.

warnings: SMUT(unprotected penetrative sex)

<if you want to be added to the tag-list comment or write to me>

previous part | next part

y/n

"so how's bed rest?" 

You groaned loudly into the phone "awful"

Emily chuckled "you're dramatic"

"I am most definitely not" you corrected her "this is torture. I have nothing to do"

"watch a movie"

"already did that"

"read?"

"I finished the book you lent me the other day just this morning"

"Are you kidding me?"

"no Emily" you sighed, " I think I'm going crazy"

she laughed now "y/n, just relax you deserve it"

"I don't like to relax"

"Well, you better get used to it, because Hotch said he doesn't wanna see you even ten feet from this building for at least another week"

You slapped a hand down your whole face, rolling your eyes.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

"that's a shitty move"

You could hear her smiling "oh yes, how dare he?" she made fun of you

"yes. How does he dare?" 

She chuckled again "listen, I've gotta get back to work, just take some time for yourself and rest, you don't have to be doing something, you can just let your mind wander I don't know. You can do it y/n, I'm sure"

You sighed "alright"

"bye, call me if you need anything"

"thanks,bye"

you tossed your phone on the other side of the couch.

Yeah, thanks for nothing.

-let your mind wander?-

that's exactly what you'd been fighting for the past two days.

You had spent every single possible moment focusing on something, busying your mind with movies and Instagram and stupid books, and even that didn't always work, the exact moment your brain turned on again, you were fucked.

You would see his eyes,

you could feel his hands,

the blade cutting your skin open,

and you couldn't feel the pain, but you could still feel the fear.

fear so strong, so powerful,

that froze you,

impeded you to do anything else if not relieve the whole thing, frame by frame, every little detail impressed in the back of your mind and ready to float back up the moment you expected it less.

It was a nightmare,

literally,

a waking nightmare,

being afraid of your own mind, of your own memories,

it is terrifying and exhausting at the same time.

Even sleep wasn't an option, 

last night had been possibly the worst of your life,

the moment you had turned the lights off he was back,

lurking over you like a famished predator,

and you were back on the table, petrified.

So you had tried,

you tried everything you could think of,

counting sheep, 

thinking about happy things,

listening to relaxing music,

everything,

and still,

he remained.

and so you had given up, turning the lights on and mindlessly feeding your corrupted brain whatever the tv offered.

And if you thought the worst had passed,

you were extremely wrong,

because now, in addition to being exhausted but not being able to sleep, you had spent the whole day slowly realizing that it wasn't getting any better.

You, weren't getting any better.

Because as much as you tried to keep busy, you never really were.

Your brain was always there, willing or unwilling, only one thing had occupied it,

only him,

and you couldn't do anything about it.

__  __  __

Just shut up

please shut up

please

shut down

just-

please

Why isn't there a fucking switch?

This would all be so easy if there were,

just tick, and voila,

you can fucking sleep again,

like a normal human being,

everything's fixed,

but instead no

no of course not

this stupid body of yours doesn't even have a fucking brain switch because that would make it too easy right?

just too fucking easy

instead, I bet it likes to watch you toss and turn like a fucking idiot.

You were angry.

You know that moment when you've not been able to sleep for so long that the frustration turns into outright anger?

That's where you were at the moment.

It was only midnight,

and it felt like two years had passed by since you laid down.

You were holding your gun under the pillow,

not very safe, I know,

but he was there,

somewhere,

even if he was dead,

you could feel him,

and this time you were gonna be ready,

but being ready wasn't gonna do anything if you died of lack of sleep first.

You didn't know what to do,

you were completely impotent,

This was the third night in a row this was happening,

and you were exhausted, and scared,

mostly scared.

Only one of those nights you had been able to sleep,

or even just close your eyes for more than 10 seconds,

only at the hotel,

only with Spencer.

You remembered the exact moment in which he had shut off the lights, you recalled that as the silence filled your ears, images filled your eyes,  your heart sinking.

You didn't know how,

but you just knew that if he had been closer to you, you would have felt better, safer.

And so you had asked him, and of course, he said yes,

because he's Spence,

because he cares for you,

and you care for him,

And in mere seconds, you had fallen asleep,

your head on his chest, and your hand gripping his.

But now he wasn't here,

you were all alone,

not safe, 

but afraid again.

You turned in the bed again with a sigh, and as you faced the nightstand, the lamp, the pen, the phone, the keys on it, an idea came to mind.

A stupid one,

but seemingly the only one.

__  __  __

"hi"

"y/n? What happened?" he immediately reached for you to guide you in, shutting the door and turning to you with a worried expression.

"Nothing happened don't worry"

He didn't say anything, but his questioning expression urged you to continue 

"I-"

god this was stupid

"I couldn't sleep"

"oh" you could see the shift in his stance, as relief washed over his features, his eyes now sweet and understanding, and his lips up in a sad smile "I'm sorry"

"I know it's weird to come here in the middle of the night but-" you swallowed thickly, looking behind him at the overfilled bookshelves

"Hey it's me" he stepped closer to you "you can tell me"

You smiled weakly up at him "I have not been able to sleep since the night at the hotel"

"y/n" he hummed softly, stroking your arm

"I'm sorry Spence, really"

"for what?"

You scoffed "For coming here and waking you up and-"

"y/n" his eyes were honest "it's nothing" he smiled "you can wake me up whenever you want if you need it, you know that"

Your heart fluttered, and you couldn't help but throw your arms around his neck and hug him tightly, your head hidden in his warm chest as his hands uncertainly found your back.

"thank you" you whispered, looking up at him

"f-for what?" he blushed

"for being you"

__  __  __

The warmth of his chest mixed with the low thuds of his heartbeat was hypnotizing.

You were wrapped around him, your leg bent over his, and your hands on his abdomen.

He had even gently, and most definitely hesitantly, placed one of his hands on your waist, holding you in place, but you could still feel his quick breaths and the way his body hadn't fully un-stiffened from the moment you had first touched him.

You could feel he was holding back, trying to stay still and breathe normally with very little to no results.

And you were feeling bad about it, because it wasn't fair that this was for you the only moment of comfort you had experienced in the past few days, and for him, an actual nightmare.

"Spence" you whispered 

"yes?" his voice was hoarse

"is this ok?"

He frowned "y-yes why?"

"I just-" you bit your lip "I just wanted to make sure you're comfortable too" you explained "You're not really a fan of physical contact"

He laughed softly "no, I'm not," he said "but I like this"

"Are you sure?" you murmured "you seem very- stiff"

The red on his cheeks brightened  "I'm sure" he said, and before he could stop himself he also blurted out "I'm just a little- nervous"

You frowned "why?"

You could see the regret in his eyes as he sighed "you're just" his pupils were frantically dancing all over the room, purposefully avoiding yours "you're just really beautiful" he said "And I'm not really- I'm not really used to this"

"oh"

but you're just friends, right?

so why is he nervous?

he shouldn't be nervous, 

and your heart shouldn't be beating so fast.

"that's sweet" you whispered truthfully

"and pathetic" he chuckled bitterly

"no it's not" you propped a hand on the bed to lean up and fully look at him

"you don't have to lie Y/n" he sighed "I know I'm kind of..." he trailed off

"What?"

"I'm kind of a loser"

Your heart sank

"Spence" you reached to stoke his cheek "you're kidding right?" you smiled incredulously "You're the most amazing person I've ever met, in so many diffrent ways" you whispered, your thumb tracing patterns on his cheekbone "you're a genius Spence" you smiled "my genius"

The warm light the lamp was emitting shined only on the right side of his face, but it was as if his whole face had lit up once you spoke.

"y-your genius?"

You laughed softly "you like that?"

He smiled widely "I do"

Your hand was still on him, and as the room fell silent, as he looked straight at you with those big brown eyes, you suddenly became very aware of it, and of how natural it felt, to just reach for him and soothe him like it was an everyday thing.

"and by the way" you smirked slightly "you're beautiful too"

He wet his lips "t-thank you" he said "but I can't even compete with you"

You rolled your eyes playfully "oh shut up"

"Why?" he murmured,

Because I wanna kiss you

and without giving yourself enough time to think about it, about why you shouldn't and why this is wrong and you have spent so much time fighting it just to fuck it all up now, you crashed your lips with his, taking him by surprise, as it took him a moment to register what was happening before starting to reciprocate,

but the moment he did, everything felt right,

as his soft, tortured lips melted with yours you felt light, like you were floating in the air, holding tighly onto him, as the rest of the world caved in.

You kept kissing him as you got on top of him,

you didn't want to break the kiss,

you didn't want to have time to regret this,

you just wanted to do what felt right, and if it was a mistake, so be it.

Your knees were on each side of his waist and your hands were all up in his face, one on his cheek and the other one messing up his hair.

You could already feel something hard press against your core, and a little moan escaped Spence's throat once you ground on it.

His hands came up to your waist, and you smiled into the kiss, leaning away for just a moment, and just as you had predicted a wave of uncertainty hit you hard.

"spence-" you whispered 

"I know" he nodded,

You bit your lip "we shouldn't-"

His now saddened eyes scanned your whole face, but something still sparked behind them "I know we shouldn't y/n" he was trying really hard not to let his desperation come through "but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want this" he smiled softly "a lot" he gulped "for a very long time"

You couldn't help but smile too as you bent down again, ghosting his lips "I want this too Spence" you whispered "a lot" and once again you didn't have time to think before your lips were on his again, molding and dancing together, making your stomach twist and turn in excitement.

Another breathy whimper left his mouth once you started kissing him down his neck, slowly making your way to the hem of his shirt, and looking up at him for a moment, before easing him out of it.

Your hands immediately went to his firm chest, exploring all of it as your mouth left quick kisses wherever it could.

Only the sound of your mouth on him and of the ragged breaths fleeing his mouth filled the thick air.

"f-fuck" he moaned lowly once you ground on his lap again, making you grin with excitement.

"I know" you whispered, reaching to stroke his cock through his pajama pants, making his whimper again, and this time, it was him that took you by surprise once his hand went to the back of your neck, bringing your mouth onto his once again, but this time, he pushed his tongue between your lips, making you moan softly into his mouth.

He was desperate, you could feel it,

you could feel it by the way he was gripping your neck, by the way his mouth was so eager to melt with yours, and by the way his hips were now grinding up against yours on their own accord.

You couldn't wait anymore as you leaned away to pull your shirt off.

His eyes immediately fell to your bandages again, and his feature softened before you undid for the clasp of your bra, and as much as what had happened to you haunted him, he couldn't help but stare shamelessly at your tits.

"you can touch" you whispered, but he didn't move, so you guided him, taking a hand that was on your waist and placing it on your boob.

He was quick to grope it, and as if he had woken up from a trance, he brought his other hand to your tits too, stroking and grabbing enthusiastically.

"god you're beautiful y/n"  he made you blush " so beautiful"

You bent down to give him another quick kiss in response before leaning away to get off of him, making him whine.

You laughed softly "just a sec," you said, before shuffling out of your pants and panties, and at that, Spencer was more than eager to do just the same.

"you're cute" you kissed him once you got on top of him again, his hard cock now grazing against your core in the most wonderful way.

"you're perfect" he breathed out, his hands finding your tits once again.

He leaned up to catch your lips in another heated and messy kiss, and you seized the opportunity to let one of your hands travel down to his cock, guiding it at your entrance, and slowly sinking down on it.

A mixture of your moans combined with his groans filled the dimly lit room.

"you feel so good baby" you cried out, as he stretched you out incredibly.

"you-" he struggled to speak "you too," he said, and you lifted yourself completely off his dick just to slam back on it, making both of you moan loudly.

"you're so- you're so tight- fuck" 

"And you're so big" you smiled mindlessly as you grabbed his shoulder for leverage and started to develop a quick pace, soon making the room fill with the sound of your skin slapping with his, and rendering him unable to talk, if not to produce cute little strained noises.

You were moaning loudly, whispering his name every time he hit that spot inside of you that made your eyes roll to the back of your head, while one of his hands was on your tit and the other one on your waist, moving with you.

"fuck Spence" you breathed out, as a shock of pleasure coursed through you, and you didn't even notice as his hand left your waist and went to your clit, until you felt his fingers circle it, making you gasp audibly.

He grinned and you smirked amused "You know what you're doing doctor" you commented

"I know a thing or two" he beamed, as his fingers continued their dance, forcing you to bite down your lip to silence your pathetic cries.

He was staring at you, his eyes drinking up the masterpiece in front of him.

Never in a million years had he thought this was gonna happen, and still, there you were, moaning his name on top of him, and it was making you both more confident and self-conscious, having him eye you like that, but you didn't give it too much of a thought as you did the same, admiring his beauty from above him.

The knot in your stomach was tightening "s-shit baby" you whimpered "I'm coming Spence" you said out of breath

"me too" he whispered "I'm coming"

"fuck" you moaned "come with me baby" you bent down to kiss him sweetly 

"Where?" he asked breathlessly

"Inside"

"i-inside?"

"inside baby" you kissed him again, and as you sank down on him once more, the knot in your stomach broke, making thousands of little fireworks explode inside of you as you moaned his name over and over like a mantra.

He followed just after, groaning lowly as he shot his hot cum deep inside of you.

You dropped your head onto his shoulder once you were done, grinning widely onto it.

You had really done it.

You had spent years fantasizing, dreading, and dreaming of this moment and there it was.

Better than you could have ever imagined.

You left a quick kiss on his peck before easing yourself off of him, hissing at the feeling of being so empty.

You laid down next to him, and instinctively both of you turned to look at the other, finding on each other's faces the same incredulous smile.

You kissed him again.

It was like a drug.

the best kind,

him.

"that thing you said about having wanted this for a long time?"  you found yourself asking "did you really mean it?"

He raised his eyebrows, his eyes dropping a moment before coming back up to yours "y/n" he said "I don't think I've ever meant anything more"

previous part | next part

taglist (if you want to be added comment or write to me.)

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[adolin]

I'm nearly done with ACOWAR and like. I'm trying to care about Cassian and Nesta but honestly my most recurring Nesta ship thought is Nesta/Elain.

NESTA/ELAIN I love your brain so much! unfortunately I'm cold to negative on Cassian/Nesta, mostly because I think that Nesta is way too cool for the story SJM stuck her in, and everyone she interacts with does her dirty, and the romance is shoehorned... I'm a hater. Rescue my girl from that book and take her to warrior lesbians island

also this ask made me go look for all my goodreads updates while I was reading the Nesta book (court of silver flames) and here's all of them in order. I really was in the trenches. I remember I finished it & immediately went to look for fic and I found @flowerflamestars's ao3

July 8, 2022 - 1.0%

I must confess I have finished 3 of these books now and I still have no idea of what that Cauldron even IS. A real physical object, a metaphor for creation, a pocket alternate dimension, a TARDIS? Who knows bc I sure don't

July 8, 2022 - 5.0%

July 10, 2022 – 15.0%

Look, I love Nesta. I came into this book Very excited and all primed to have a good time, hyped up and ready to go!!

and then 3 chapters in I remembered that I don't really trust Sarah with the characters I like so picture me reading this book like a kid peeking through their fingers watching a scary movie, nervous af but needing TO KNOW

July 11, 2022 – 20.0%

I desperately want to like this more but STAPH @ all this bloated political drama about people I don't care about

gimme more Nesta or give me death

FINALLY things are happening that I care about

July 11, 2022 – 27.0%

Cassian saying "core" and meaning "abs" vs. Nesta hearing "core" and thinking about romance smut is exactly what goes through my head every time I listen to these audiobooks while working out

July 12, 2022 – 30.0%

everytime rhys gets mentioned in this book i roll my eyes the same way nesta does

July 12, 2022 – 32.0%

July 13, 2022 – 46.0%

Sabrina was so right about Amren and I hate it

(Sabrina being my friend who said to me early on: you won't like Amren's arc in this book)

Cassian sexing up (?) Nesta to bring her out of her trance, in front of all his friends whom Nesta doesn't like very much, is... aggressively Not my kink, wow

July 14, 2022 – 54.0%

I just think Nesta is really neat

July 14, 2022 – 60.0%

getting pretty tired of rhys & co arbitrarily deciding is cool to keep potentially life-threatening information from the women in their lives

July 14, 2022 – 60.0%

Rhys: she could literally die but let's not tell her FOR HER OWN GOOD

everyone else: you're such a good boss. saviour of everything. guiding light of this circle. sure let's do that!

July 14, 2022 – 61.0%

"Amren: dictatorship is sexy actually" — WTF is going on with everyone's characterization in this book?

July 14, 2022 – 60.0%

anyway, like. i'm sure as hell not reading this smutty supernatural fantasy romance with my critical brain turned on, but the way this book keeps trying to Make A Point about Trauma and Misogyny and Feminist Empowerment while being riddled with misogynistic implications is sure fascinating to behold. sarah janet. honey. have some self awareness i'm begging you

July 15, 2022 – 65.0%

Literally Rhys: Nesta saw fit to inform Feyre of the very real risk to her actual life, how absolutely dare, I'm scary murderous and I want her gone before I fucking kill her

All those absolute tools: This seems like a totally normal reaction to have! Rhys should be highest king, what a great dude

Me: actually do get Nesta out of the city she deserves better

July 15, 2022 – 66.0%

ok but seriously why is this book trying to make it seem like making someone aware of a potentially life-threatening medical condition is "an unforgivable thing". why sarah. why

July 16, 2022 – 78.0%

Death Queen Nesta is just really hot, methinks

July 16, 2022 – 80.0%

I unapologetically AM very, very into Eris/Nesta, actually

July 18, 2022 – 80.0%

“I want to take that road.” Her voice thickened. “I want to take the road that no one dares travel, and I want to travel it with you two.” — AWWW GWYN!!!!! 😍😭❤️"

July 19, 2022 – 98.0%

this is so predictable and underwhelming :))

[thereaperiswriting]

Passion (EddiexBuck)

Book one of three

Completed works up on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/Amongthe_Roses

(Please keep in mind that I am currently in the process of editing, as I finished writing recently :) thank you)

Warnings: Toxic relationship(s) that include lying and cheating; mentions of abuse and SA; sexual content

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Chapter 4/26

Words: 991

Eddie chose Monty Bar, the bar we met in.

I followed him in the Jeep, hoping that this would be over quickly. Hopefully he would get his kicks and then I could go home and try to forget about him.

But as we entered the familiar space, I knew that I couldn't hope for this to end soon. I wanted to be here with him, in our own little bubble if it could be called that.

I wanted to learn more about him, because I'd blown that portion of meeting him. I wanted to know his favorite bands, movies, books he liked, if he had kids, where he traveled...

I wanted to know his deep darkest secrets. Wanted to know how he saw the world.

I wanted to know him and that surprised me.

We sat at the bar, ordering two beers. The bartender flashed us a smile as she handed us our drinks.

She was pretty, in an understated way. And if I weren't here with Eddie, I would have picked her up.

We were silent for the first couple of minutes, unsure of what to say. How does one start a conversation with the guy they've been thinking about nonstop?

"I want to apologize for acting like a complete ass," he said, breaking the silence.

"Surely I should be the one apologizing." I pointed out. "I have been the one ignoring you."

He took a sip of his beer. "I'm sure I deserved it. I've been hot and cold with you too. I've been teasing you."

I nodded. "I just don't know what way is up with you." I admitted. "I've been thinking about you for weeks, and yet here you are the new recruit for the firehouse."

His eyes widened. "You've been thinking about me?"

I nodded again.

"Oh, Buck. You've been on my mind too. I've been wanting to talk to you for weeks, but I thought you hated me."

I thought I hated you too, I wanted to say. But the longer I sat here, the more that became untrue.  

The fact that he apologized to me, even though he hadn't really done anything wrong, showed me that he cared about me to some degree. Even though he didn't know me. 

A pang of emotion shot through me. This wasn't turning out how I thought it would. I thought we'd argue, but in reality, we were getting somewhere. We were admitting our faults and trying to make amends. 

And he's been thinking about you. 

That warmed my heart. I'd thought that my affection was one side. 

"I like you, Buck. I'll come out and say it." He continued. "I don't know what kind of relationship we can have, but I would like to try. Maybe we can start out as friends?" 

"Friends," I murmured. 

He frowned. "Or not. Whatever you want. I don't want to pressure you into anything." 

"You wouldn't be pressuring me into anything." It was true. "But..." 

"But..." he repeats. 

"But, I'm confused. I think I'm straight, but then I like you. I want to be with you in a romantic and sexual sense..." 

"I can see how that would be confusing." He admitted.

I took a drink of my beer. 

"But I like the idea of starting out as friends, and seeing where things will go." 

"Me too. I want to take things slow, earn your trust, and then maybe..." 

I knew where I wanted things to go. Images of him on his back in the throes of passion sprang to mind. Images of him on top of me, riding me, and kissing me... 

I shifted in my seat, hoping that he didn't notice my arousal. 

But he was right. Taking things slow made sense. 

"Maybe what?" 

"Maybe then we could become something more." He finished. 

I liked the idea of being something more. I wanted to hold his hand, to share passionate kisses in the rain, to take him out on dates. I didn't want him to just be another sexual conquest. 

He surprised me by taking my hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. 

My heart rate spiked. I wanted more. 

"I do have to be honest about something." He said. 

"What?" 

He chews on his lip. "I have a son, Buck." 

"A son?" 

He nodded. "He's seven. His name is Christopher." 

"I bet he's a lovely kid." 

And his whole demeanor changed. His eyes lit up, and he sat up straighter. "Oh, he is. He's such a a sweet kid. I hope you can meet him at some point." 

"I'd love to," I told him. I really would. 

He smiles. It was a beautiful smile, with dimples and all. It made my heart flutter, and I wanted him to look at me like that. 

We finished our beers, ordering two more. We spent the next few hours talking, and I learned a great deal about him -- his favorite movie was Back to the Future, his favorite band Cafe Tacvba. He served two tours in Afghanistan, and he that's where he got his paramedic training. 

The more I learned about him, the more I liked him. 

I didn't want this evening to end, but eventually we had to go home. He had a son to get home to, and I needed to face my sister, who no doubt would have questions on why I was out drinking. 

We shared a soft small kiss, and he told me he'd see me tomorrow. 

"Good night, Evan." He murmured pulling away. 

"Good night, Eddie." 

He smiled up at me. "I don't want to leave." 

Sighing, I pulled out of his arms. "You have to go, and so do I." 

"You're right. Good night." 

I watched as he made his way to his car, trying not to give into the bitter sweet emotion of our parting. I had it bad, and I'd only just gotten to know him. 

What was wrong with me? 

[gyllenhaalstories]

presumed innocent finale rewatch word vomit? yeah i think so <33

knowing who did it made it more obvious as i rewatched the entire season but especially with the finale. the way jaden looks so dissociated the entire time, how you can clearly tell she has not slept in ages and she's been eaten alive by this. the hugs with rusty... it's obvious. but wow i literally believed every single possibility except her. if i learned one thing from this show, it's that i am as stupid as rusty and that is deeply upsetting.

i haven't watched the movie (i want to though!) & the other productions, i haven't read the book so like... what the hell happens with rusty? i know the series is doing it differently so comparison is almost pointless. i guess maybe we might get crumbs about what happened to some of the people involved with season 2 although it's a new case and we don't know much about who comes back (i saw peter wasn't coming back as tommy, jake is likely to only be back as a producer). but what happens?

is rusty unemployed? he was suspended with pay i believe, but like, he's not going back there to work like it's a regular monday right? does he find a firm in chicago to work form, more lowkey? more paperwork, more like lawyer you call for contracts and minimal public exposure? does he change careers? does he just... live as a pariah for the rest of his life? what! does! he! do! i wonder. all we know is that he's incredibly dumb but he's law smart. he can throw a punch, he can swim and run on a treadmill. where the hell does that take him. he has no credibility, he might be excellent at his job (he said it himself that he doesn't know what it feels to lose a trial, not even his own... wow), but take the job out of the man and what is he left with? i just want to know. i'm so curious. i want all the details.

barbara had a suitcase packed. she basically had a foot out of the door before jaden explained what happened. does she stay and become even more miserable to protect her children? that stare they exchanged at the last second of the finale is so charged. do they get divorced? i hope so, perhaps after jaden moves out and kyle too if barbara can stand it that long. i hope they divorce, as fairly and smoothly as possible. it will inevitably create a great divide, i see jaden siding with her father and kyle with his mom. i think barbara's compulsion to forgive and to protect her family will be shattered and altered forever. i hope she finds someone who's artistic like her, who's loyal and who loves her the way she deserves. i hope she gets a proper art studio that never turns into a storage shed, perhaps she quits working for galleries and instead shows her art to the world. i see rusty attending the exhibition. how lovely aww <3

no but let's take a moment for barbara and rusty. they met when they were twenty, in college she studied art and he did law which is like so different. surprise pregnancy 6 months later. they still finished school. it's safe to assume kyle was born around that time. barbara going to school pregnant! rusty and barbara raising jaden and reading her bedtime stories in between important schoolwork! and after that they just... they just kept going. they had a kid at about 21, two before 25 and they had amazing careers after that. i know i know that's the life of many people i don't care let me be amazed by barbara and rusty for one moment thank you. their whole lives... all they know is each other. barbara mentioned clifton's phd in art so casually, does she have that too? two kids and a phd? and was an art gallery the future that barbara wanted? she's so talented. did she want to become an artist, was she an artist at some point but she diverged to work at a gallery for a seemingly more stable revenue? did she have to settle so rusty could aimed so high? i imagine he would have succeeded to raymond. in the next election, he would be taking his place. that's crazy!!! no wonder why they drifted apart.

the kids will be forever messed up oh my god. jaden? how is she supposed to move on from that. i wonder what the future has to offer to jaden and kyle.

raymond retires, absolutely wonderful. does he stay friends with rusty? i think he would, but i don't think lorraine would support it. and between lorraine and rusty, there is no doubt who he chooses considering who almost killed him during this trial.

so rusty has 0 mistress 0 best friend 0 wife and a broken family. he probably doesn't even have the house because i doubt he can afford it without a big fancy job as a big fancy chief deputy prosecutor and the big fancy paycheck that comes with it. he has nothing. he did not know what he was willing to lose. he's so dumb. he lost everything because he couldn't keep his pp in his pants... might be worse than actual jail for him. hmm, deserved.

WILL TOMMY'S CAT BE OKAY!!! I'M ASKING THE REAL QUESTION!

[runningfrom2am]

extremely late chapter 14 thoughts:

1. sejanus as much as i love you- maybe not throw yourself inside the house when coryo is having an existential crisis.

2. i love lennox because there should be at least one person who thinks the right way. i hope lennox keeps him on his toes so he thinks three times before doing anything.

3. “Unless you still didn’t see it that way.” ohhhh… the drama.

4. “the back cover of an old book about a man who hunted humans.” is the book “the most dangerous game”?

5. trying to materialise her morals with her prize must’ve been awful. only having money to hold as you’re in a train for that long with that many thoughts, i can’t even imagine.

6. i truly love the family r has and how even that makes her different than lucy gray. the latter was the oldest in her unit, as far as i know, while r isn’t meant to take care of anyone. also you are doing an excellent job at not casting them aside, as side characters usually exist for a quick second in fanfics.

7. Coriolanus Snow Being Honest To A District Woman? It’s More Likely Than You Think.

8. well, ladybugs bring luck.

9. thank you so much for not making her jump to his arms in a few seconds. she went through hell in that arena and at least half of it could be traced back to coryo. the emotional weight of that isn’t something that will lift quickly. she is bound to him by something greater than her feelings.

10. “I am yours for the walk and especially when I walk away.” MA’AM IS THIS FORESHADOWING IN A WAY?

welcome back bestie!! also i hope you had such a great birthday !!

1. yeah he was not thinking LMAO he was just like “on my way to see my friend !” and lucy gray was like “bro cmon read the room”

2. yes i love him :’) he was ready to swing immediately. i really love writing sibling relationships bc with my brother i’ve had so many different perspectives on it through the years haha, but now it literally doesn’t matter i’m like “this person is annoying” and he’s like “i’ll fight them rn” lol. i really think lennox needs to bring that energy bc r is WAY too gentle for her own good, even after all that she went through. he’s a good kid, of course, raised by the same parents, but he’s not nearly as timid and i love him for it.

and ANOTHER thing ab lennox- him and lucy gray both know more than her parents do, and both are clearly protective of her but she is still willing to give coryo a chance. he sees coryo as untrustworthy and a threat to r even though he knows she cares about him, but lucy gray is more optimistic ab it. idk, i feel like they see the situation clearly but in very different ways.

3. he’s like “shit i came all this way to be shut down didn’t i-“ lol

4. yes ma’am 🫡🤭 i mean i know it’s a short story but i have seen individual prints of it too (i had someone on wp be like “but that’s not a book it’s a short story” like girl i know pls-

5. no literally i would lose my damn mind. like you’re staring at an amount of money that can change your life and trying to convince yourself it is somehow worth it (which i know she could never do) would be actual torture i think.

6. i love her family so much, like realistically i can’t imagine r being the person she is without having a loving and supportive family.

also thank you! i love lucy gray and the covey too much to neglect them. especially maude ivory!! we deserved more of her in the movie!!

7. no literally. especially r’s mom. i think he doesn’t consciously know it either but r had talked about her mom quite a bit while she was in the capitol so i think he trusts her more than he would care to if he didn’t feel like he “knew her”. also i think important to mention that his fathers death also affected her so deeply and even physically.

8. that they do 🤭

9. AH you are so welcome. like as much as that would have been cute or whatever i seriously don’t think that was even an option for her it wouldn’t have made even a bit of sense. honestly, she was more likely to bolt back out the door and make a run for it hahahaha

10. IDK WE’LL HAVE TO SEE

[pastelwitchling]

Percy Jackson and the Olympians, episode 4 thoughts.

It occurs to me that there are some people who don't believe you can love something with all your heart and soul... and still critique it. Yet here I am. I can love the Percy Jackson show and still point out the flaws. So if you can't handle any critique of the show, don't read this, or it's all on you if you get pissed off or frustrated. I'm more than happy to discuss if you disagree with anything I'm about to say, but I will not tolerate hate or insults.

Without further ado, here are my thoughts on the latest Percy Jackson episode:

I think the general consensus (HA!) that I saw on IG was that people felt like the episode was too short, and... yeah, it definitely felt like it ended very quickly, and in the middle of a battle too. I understand not wanting it to be a monster per episode, but we've got 8 episodes in total, and much bigger things are about to happen that I think deserve more than one episode a little more than the chimera, to be honest.

I love how much I loved Annabeth in this episode, she was great. I loved Grover, he was great. Percy was phenomenal as always.

I will say that I definitely feel like I understand the show's formula now. A minute or two of some epic imagery, but not doing much with it because we have to have exposition for about 15 to 20 minutes, another minute or two of trio development and conversation, and then jumping right into the action for the rest of the episode.

Y'all can't hear the way I talk, so I get some of this sounds frustrated, but I'm more... clinical about it. To me, we already have the books and the first two movies (should've been five) that, personally, I feel did some of this epic stuff a little better, and so whatever good the show offers now, to me, is just an extra treat.

I loved the little additions, I loved Athena punishing Annabeth because it shows the gods' cruelty even towards their own kids, I loved Percy switching their places, I loved that confrontation, I loved him getting poisoned, that was cool. (I love Percy, I swear, but that was just really cool 😂)

I think the kids playing these characters are perfect, I think the action sequences are awesome, I think the intensity and lines are amazing, I just feel like the pacing and tone of the show is pretty different from the books. To me, the movies just... offered a little more epic-ness in terms of Percy's powers. Movie Percy, to me, really felt like the son of Poseidon because they let him use his powers, and they gave him a connection to water.

I don't really know how I feel about Percy Jackson... being afraid... of water...

I get the idea, I get that it's supposed to be ironic, I really do, but this isn't a book. We don't hear Percy's inner monologue about his comfort around Montauk and the beach there, and water has barely come into play in this show at all. Like there's a surprising lack of it. I get he's Sally Jackson's son, that's the whole thing, but he's a demigod of water and we've barely seen him have any connection to water. Why? Because most of the episode is taken up with EXPOSITION.

Humor me for a second. How much more impactful do you think it would've been if maybe that flashback scene to him as a kid was maybe instead that he was standing in front of the beach at Montauk? Maybe he was looking over the water, watching the waves. Maybe he felt this silent beckoning, moves closer to the water, and Sally Jackson comes running out, screaming for him to get away from the waves. She snatches him up, warns him never to go into the ocean without her again, that he's too young, he's not ready to set off on his own. She'll be talking about his life as a demigod, but he'll imagine she's talking about him drowning or something without her there to look after him. He tells her to breathe, just like he did in the initial flashback, and they share a hug and we see her true distress at almost losing her son to the life of a demigod too soon where he finds out who he is and has to leave for camp, and then Percy wakes up in the train. Suddenly that memory means something completely different to what he remembered. That way, it not only gives him that connection to Montauk, but it also explains him not really being around water much in the time we've seen him, because then we know as the audience that he's been warned away from the water and the life it'll include if he was to venture too far away into it.

Here's the thing. I saw that Rick Riordan really, really cares about making the truest adaptation he can (that's, like, his entire selling point whenever he talks about the show), which is understandable because it's no secret how much he loathed the movies. We know. If you've ever seen any panel or interview, you know how much Rick hates those films. Again, fair, because they're very different from the books. I love them, I think they're tons of fun, but I'm not the author of this series, you know? I don't care about phenomenal adaptations, I care about fun ones. RWRB is very different from the book, and is certainly not without its flaws, but neither is the book itself. They're still both super fun though, so they're still both my favorite romances.

That said, I think it's important to remember that Rick is a writer, not a filmmaker. What works in a book will not always work in a show or movie. The book is in Percy's perspective, so we get a lot of inner monologue on his feelings, thoughts, interests, and what matters most to him. The show rarely lets him talk except to ask a question or throw out a one-liner (that always lands, by the way, Percy is the absolute heart of this show, and the show really becomes phenomenal and fun when he's allowed to speak), forgetting that while Book Percy asked a lot of questions too, we still got his inner monologue to know more about him and his feelings. I think Walker is perfect in conveying a lot of emotion just in his facial expressions, but I do think the show has to give him more to work with because at this point, he's managing the emotional parts all on his own with not much assistance from the script.

I think Rick was so consumed with doing the things the films didn't do that he dismissed the good things the films did. I will reiterate that this isn't necessarily a bad thing. This show is such a treat, we get so many great moments as well as moments that I think could've been done better. Still, that's the way it goes. So for now, I will just enjoy what we get, pick it apart, because that's what I do, and have fun all the same. It's Percy Jackson! It's impossible not to have fun.

[chellesdump]

Fallen Angel - Joel and Ellie

"Of course, Joel knows that Ellie isn’t exactly the most angelic kid ever, she is a force of nature getting in trouble at any given chance and never listening when she is given instruction. But if she wants to dress like an angel for the little Halloween party they throwing at the canteen, hell he’s getting her dressed like an angel even if Tommy says she would fit more into a demon costume"

word count ─ 1.6k

tags ─ little! kid! ellie, papa! joel, uncle! tommy & aunt! maria, poor ellie needs a chance on a normal childhood or as close as normal as you can get on a apocalyptic world, canon divergence

notes ─ This is for the Angel/Demon prompt. Canon events from the game up until the WLF comes to Jackson, Abby related events didn’t happened, Ellie is still mad at Joel for lying but like we know she gives their relationship a chance once again. Please enjoy this piece

Trying to rebuild their relationship had proven to be a hard matter, that day 3 years back had really put a strain on how much the relationship had progressed and it felt like they were back to the start of the Summer of '33.

But nonetheless Joel was glad that Ellie had given him another chance to be in her life, and he was going to make the most of it to get it back at were it was, he wasn’t to lose another daughter forever. He was going to be the best dad that Ellie could get, and no he wasn’t getting sappy, it was just that she deserved so many great things just like he had given to Sarah, both his daughters deserved to have the world at their feet.

For Ellie the world was getting brighter, she could finally truly relax snuggled against Joel in his… their living room watching some movie they had found on patrol, reading some of her comics or a book, even just sitting there hearing him do anything around the house was ideal. When they had settled into a comfortable relationship back when they were traveling the country, Ellie had started regressing, not that either she or Joel knew that back then, but they had always noticed that sometimes she would act more childish than any other teen they knew.

Once they came to live in Jackson they truly explored that aspect once a doctor in the community told them about the whole regression thing, none of them wanted to admit it, but the doctor explained that it was completely normal given the circumstances of the world, and they finally embraced it when she told them that lots of the teens/young adults that had come into the community did it as well.

So when she distanced herself from Joel it had put a huge strain on her mental health, she had leaned into her regression as her principal source to relieve stress but without Joel it just wasn’t the same, and she could not regress properly by herself or having anyone else taking care of her.

But all that was behind them, right at this moment Ellie was sitting on the floor of Joel’s woodwork studio drawing on her sketchbook while he carved a figurine, the mood was calm, each one in their own world until Ellie remembered something.

“Papa! I finally knows what I wants to be fo’ the party!” yelled Ellie turning to face Joel, almost cutting his finger at the sudden outburst he put everything down on the table, preparing to tell Ellie off for yelling but upon seeing the excitement on her face he decided against it.

“Really? What are you going to be?” asked Joel putting his whole attention on her, “Am gonna be Angel!!” exclaimed Ellie shaking from the emotion, then she started rambling about how all the other kids were going to be so jealous at the magnificence of her costume, Joel could only chuckle while listening.

He promised to make her the best Angel costume ever, the next day he went to the library trying to get all the books he could find with images of angels to try and sketch an idea of the costume, but he remembered that he was so bad at drawing things so he went to Maria looking for help. The next days he spent all his free time planning the costumes when he wasn’t on patrol, and when he was out would search for anything that could be used on Ellie’s costume.

��

Joel and Tommy were in a nearby town while patrolling to get rid of all the infected when he stumbled into a hardware store, Jackpot he thought going into the store hoping to find some things he needed from there. While Joel rummaged through the different aisles Tommy came inside as well and questioned his older brother's actions, “What are you exactly doing Joel? We should be looking for more infected to get rid of or go back home. You don’t need any more tools back home, I’m sure you already have enough of them to open your own hardware store back there”.

“I’m not looking for tools, I need some steel wire for the wings of Ellie’s costume,” said Joel going back to keep looking for the item, “You sure your girl should dress as an angel? I think a demon would be more fitting,” said Tommy holding back laughter, “She wants to, so I’m making sure she will. Now stop being such a pain and help me look for it so we can get going as soon as possible” grumbled Joel.

—

Once he had gotten all the necessary supplies Joel began the true making of the costume, measuring Ellie up to know what size the wings should be since he didn’t want her to stumble and hurt herself if they ended to big.

“Papa can we eats grilled cheese and ‘mato soup? Dina says Talia mades it fo’ her and was so tasty, so I wan’ some too p’ease” begged Ellie using her best puppy eyes, even if she knew that her Papa was wrapped around her little finger and would do anything she asked for, or at least that was what uncle Tommy said.

“Sure thing baby girl, once we are finished here we’ll go ask Tommy and Maria for some butter since a certain little girl ate all we had this morning at breakfast” said Joel teasing Ellie, making her let out tiny giggles and swear she didn’t know what her Papa was talking about.

As promised Joel and Ellie went towards Tommy and Maria’s house, upon arrival Ellie wanted to barge in but was stopped by Joel, “Baby girl, remember we can’t just barge inside, we need to knock so they let us in” reprimanded Joel, knocking on the door waiting for someone to open it.

Soon after Tommy opened the door to greet them, “What brings you here at this hour? Please come in, it’s getting a little chilly outside” said Tommy and when the last word came out of his mouth Ellie ran inside, “Unca’ Tommy, where’s Auntie ‘Ria? I wanna see her” exclaimed the little girl looking all around the first floor for her aunt, but not having luck with her mission.

“Is that my favorite little girl that I’m hearing? Have she come to visit me and give me lots of love?” asked Maria, faking surprise when she spotted Ellie and opening her arms for the running girl that was coming to her. With a tud Ellie crashed into her aunt’s arms and hugged her, getting kisses all over her face as a response, when the kiss attack finished she began to tell Maria all about her day.

“Guess what Auntie ‘Ria? Papa’s making grilled cheese and ‘mato soup fo’ dinner!!” mentioned Ellie when she remembered why they were there, “Oh really? You must be so excited about eating such a yummy dinner” said Maria chuckling at what could make a little kid so excited.

“Yes!! Dina says it’s so yummy, so I asked Papa for it and he said yes” said Ellie, overflowing with happiness, then she started to tell Maria what Dina had taught her that day when she went to visit her house.

“If you are making that for dinner then why are you here? It’s getting late and you should start on dinner if you plan on getting your little rascal in bed at a reasonable hour” asked Tommy clarifying how they are always welcomed, “We came to ask for some butter please, Ellie ate all of ours this morning and it’s so late to go and get some for the house” explained Joel, looking towards Ellie and smiling at how easygoing the girl is.

“She sure has you wrapped around her little finger, you basically bend at her will. First, you're making some wings from scratch for her angel costume and now you are making an elaborate dinner just cause she asked” chuckled Tommy patting his big brother’s back but then going to his fridge to fetch the requested item.

“What wings Unca’ Tommy? Angel Knives don’t have wings, she has big claws like Wolverine!” demonstrated Ellie throwing her arms around as if she were attacking with her fake claws. "Baby girl, didn’t you say you wanted to dress like an angel for the party?” asked Joel looking directly at the girl, “Yeah Papa, wanna dress like Angel Knives. I already told you, so silly Papa” giggled Ellie continuing to throw punches and kicks at the air.

With a sigh Joel took the butter from Tommy and grabbed Ellie’s hand going toward the door, “You going already brother?” asked Tommy chuckling, “Yes, I need to make dinner and get this little one in bed as soon as possible. Tomorrow is going to be a long day of me making fake claws for Ellie” answered Joel waving a final goodbye to Maria and Tommy before walking back to his house with Ellie on tow.

Of course, Angel Knives made more sense than an actual angel, but this one was on Joel for not asking Ellie more questions, it was a big lesson to learn. Tommy was right, Ellie has him wrapped around her little finger just like Sarah did, maybe he was just meant to be a dotting ‘girl dad’ and give into their shenanigans.

Especially when he had a tiny voice come to him at night and tell him Wuv you Papa, before snuggling next to him, his baby girl was more of a demon than an angel but he wouldn’t have it any other way, just enjoying these little moments when it was just them and no infected or bad people existed in the world of the Miller family.

[theotherverge]

Meet Deidre Andrews, the main character of my upcoming middle-grade novel, The Lost Souls.

(Art made by my friend Orchid. Thanks Orchid!!)

She's a ten-and-a-half-year-old loser. Extremely intelligent, extremely curious, extremely full of herself, but ultimately a well-meaning nerd. She ends up receiving a Lost Soul permission slip at school because she feels that she can never fit in thanks to her... bold personality. (She's the type of person to ask for extra homework.)

She's a giant overthinker. She knows a lot of stuff by heart and wants to learn more, but when there's a gap in her knowledge, she starts assuming how things work, ultimately screwing herself or someone else over. She starts with most people not caring about her or her big brain. In fact, some people passionately LOATHE her. This vocal dislike for Deidre gets to her, drastically lowering her confidence and self-esteem.

During her time in Otherverge as a Lost Soul Cadet, (Cadets are called Fireflies,) she still has a difficult time relating to the other kids. She does eventually gain a few friends, gain new and extraordinary experiences, and earn badges thanks to her bravery, stubbornness, and clever mind. Everything she once thought were flaws about herself turn out to be her biggest strengths by the end. She does get a lot more humble about bragging and showing off at everyone at every chance she gets, but she will always be Deidre Andrews, whether people like it or not.

-------

Deidre is 100% based and inspired by Hermione Granger from Harry Potter. It could be considered me borderline stealing a character from a transphobic monster. (Which I AM!!)

Deidre was born from a desire to expand on and recontextualize one of my favorite characters. I do not like that there's a plot point in the Goblet of Fire involving Hermione being an advocate for enslaved elves being freed, and then getting laughed at by everyone and her FRIENDS because the elves love being slaves and will turn to drinking if that role is taken away from them. I do not like that Rowling retroactively made her a black character after the books were finished only for brownie points instead of making her black from the very beginning. I do not like that this character that I like is stuck in a world that doesn't have a major change in the status quo after all she fought for throughout seven books and eight movies to change it. She fought for a better world and got nothing out of it even after the big villain died. That blows.

(Art by @avatarkasia-art / Kasia Brzezinska - Instagram, Tumblr)

This is fanart for a black Hermione. This, among many other pieces of fan art, inspires me to contribute to the idea that this character deserves a second chance at a big story without a bigot controlling her. I'm taking the next step and just straight up transforming the character into something of my own. Otherverge is basically me writing elaborate fanfiction for Harry Potter, minus the magic wands, the slavery, and 88% of that franchise. In some sick way, if Hermione never ended up where her character is today, Deidre wouldn't exist, so thanks Rowling. I guess. Jerk.

Deidre will always be from beginning to end, a frizzy-haired, supremely intelligent, no-nonsense black character who stands up for herself no matter what someone says, and I'm never changing that. She loves to learn, and she values friendship and authenticity. End of conversation.

Stay tuned and follow me if you'd like to learn more about Deidre's adventures and tribulations exploring the alternate world of Otherverge. Next time, I'll be diving more into the worldbuilding and what makes this place tick. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I'll see you on the other side!

[dirtyvulture]

😎 I am feeling much better from the headache that I had last night and yay our fingers are healing well!!!!! Just make sure not to press anything too hard Vulture 😉.

I was talking about how journaling for Nat was very healing for her inner child but let’s talk about Wolvie for a second. She didn’t have much of a childhood herself. She was rise to be a high society lady, wife and mother( as birthing children and then teaching them how to be high society ladies if they were daughters). Not to mention she didn’t get a lot of attention or send a lot of time with her parents, for John it was because He was a business man and was quite busy maintaining that as well as always gathering contacts. It was also because the wealthy didn’t look after nor rise their children but if it was different then He would. As is John sent as much time and attention as he could for a wealthy man of that age but he did love and doted on his daughter. For Elizabeth it was quite different, she was cold and distant towards R ( Jane at the time ) as Elizabeth never told her that Elizabeth loved or even liked R ( it was every much a Tony Stark and Howard Stark situation , both saw their own respective parent as very cold and very calculating . Both parents could be charismatic working up a crowd and gathering/ maintaining connections) . The only real attention Elizabeth paid to her daughter was teaching her how to be a high society lady , to marry for money , etc. The Howlett estate was isolated and there were no other children to play with and the only children she interacted with were the children of her father’s business partners /  potential business partners or the high society parties . Not to mention she was a sickly and fragile child, so she couldn’t do much playing. THEN if that wasn’t ENOUGH her mutation hit between the ages between 10 and 13 ( you can pick the actual age R’s mutation actually hits Vulture. But these are the canon age ranges I believe that movie’s wolverine hits, I believe it’s 13 for comic Wolverine) then was forced onto the run surviving anyway she could. 

I love to think that watching Disney movies or other such children movies is very important in healing her inner child ( especially since the older Disney movies were based on the fairytales that she read about and loved as a child in her Grimm Brothers Fairytales book she had gotten from her parents * cough her papa John cough * for her birthday and or Christmas) . R being with and tending to kids also does wonders for healing her inner child even if she doesn’t realize it, not to mention being the mother/ parent figure she NEVER had but DESPERATELY NEEDED as a child . R has always concerned her self with giving a good childhood to actual children and healing the inner child in other people rather than her self . And Vulture you mentioned not knowing how R would react to Nat  surprising her with a Trip to Disney land ….. well she would be shocked, surprised and grumbly because “ This is wayyyyy toooo much!!!!!”and “ I DON’T deserve all of THIS !!!!!” but as soon as she settles in she is like a big kid in a candy store running around seeing EVERYTHING and all of her FAVORITE CHARACTERS from her favorite movies . She would end up hugging Nat and crying thanking her for this and saying she never thought she would get this ….. this kid  experience and unbridled joy. I also can’t help but wonder how Nat would react to Disney movies because as seen in the Agent Carter series/ the opening of The Black Widow the RR uses old Disney movies and old American cartoons ( we only see them use Snow White and we don’t know how far the RR goes down the collection of Disney movies but we do know that Nat herself was in the RR in the 1990s with a three year break with the Ohio Mission but the 1990s was the GOLDEN ERA of Disney movies) to both teach the girls English and to brainwash them. Meaning any RR Black widow would have a visceral reaction to these movies / cartoons. I am seeing R watching Disney movies ( alone or with others , possibly Rouge and or the little ones of the school) and Nat comes in to which R pauses or shuts off the movie soooo fast or blocking it from Nat as much as R could and trying to get Nat far away from the movie because R knows what the RR did to the widows with Disney movies and cartoons but doesn’t know which movies and cartoons or how far it goes. That leaves me with this which Disney movies / American cartoons do you think Vulture did the RR use ( specifically while Nat was training and as a kid there because I highly doubt that Nat has to watch them / be brainwashed by them now ) now and how far down the collection did they go?

I am on my period at the moment and that sparked a couple of ideas for both the DK and SB AUs . But first did DK Nat “graduate” from the RR and go through the “ graduation ceremony” before she escaped the RR ?It doesn’t have any baring in these thoughts at the moment but I just wanted to know for future reference. First of all SB would be sooo attentive and just great at taking care of Sergeant Romanoff on her period going all out when in private. Flowers, chocolate, snacks and fully  stocked with all the feminine hygiene products and heating pads/water bottles . And last but not least fully stocked on pain medication , the golden retriever would also have a app or something to track both their sister’s and Nat’s ( because they learned how to take care of someone on their period from doing so growing up with their sister. And even if their sister is married they still take care of her and still stock up for her ) periods so they have everything they need. Later on when they meet and get close to Yelena ( and by extension Kate ) they would do the same thing for Yelena ( *cough and Kate cough* ) if she were to live close by when not on duty/ deployment. Nat wouldn’t admit it but she loves this treatment and especially loves it  extends to her little sister . In public at work SB sneak in chocolates / coffee and covertly makes sure Sergeant Romanoff has everything she needs( feminine hygiene products, extra  clothes, hot bottle/ heating pad) . At one point Nat finds out that the OG Wolverine that SB is named after was the inventor of pads ( Maybe someone was making of SB’s name ) or maybe she already knows this ( from history class or something)but finds out that SB was specifically named after the OG Wolverine ( from the sister/ SB themselves or someone making fun of that fact of them being named after the inventor of pads )But I really want to know how she would handle someone making fun of HER BEEF but can’t do anything too obvious or official because the relationship is being kept secret. Either way I have already said that it has never bothered SB that is how they got their name and has always been proud of their name sake but the same can’t be said about Nat being unbothered at the fact that people making fun of or being rude/ mean to her beef .

In the DK universe I have said that R definitely stocked up with enough supplies while on the three day run for both Nat and Wolvie because Wolverine R still gets her period( has been for nearly two centuries and will continue to do so) but she isn’t sure if Nat does. How she made sure that she shown Nat the supplies so if it is needed Nat could grab some and have it without talking about it, if Nat doesn’t then she will still let Nat have some of the chocolate and snacks but they don’t have to say anything about the it ( avoid talking about the “graduation ceremony” all together but R does KNOW what it is and what is done to a widow when they “graduate” from the RR . I have also talked about the fact that pain medication wouldn’t work for R so she would crave up trees with her claws and yell for pain relieve ( how that inspired ✨ Cryptid ✨ War !Wolvie) . R would be very good and attentive to everyone who haves periods in her life and whom she cares about ( if she doesn’t like you you are pretty much on your own 😂😂😂but if you really NEED help she will but she wouldn’t be tender or gentle) that includes friends, lovers, daughter / child figures or people under her watch. But what about R ….. who watches out for her whilst she’s in her monthly hell of pain and bleeding ( I have really bad clamps on my periods and I am thinking that Wolverine R is the same way.) . So imagine that R’s period rolls around and the clamps hit HARD and She is clutching her stomach, Nat watches on with Jean and she asks Jean what is up with R ( Nat was talking about/ asking her about mutation and when that hits and everything, I will expand on this thought later) Jean telling her that along with R’s mutation with the claws/ super heighten senses and her long life but looking young her healing factor means EVERYTHING is  regenerated ……. And Jean does mean everything Including all the eggs in R’s body that she losses from periods every month . R has as many eggs as she did when her body physically stopped aging or has as many as when she was born. Meaning R has had periods for nearly two centuries and will continue to do so , she has seen the evolution of feminine hygiene products first hand and * Jean says with a smirk * every single period having persons have R to thank for the invention of pads as we know them during her time being a nurse in WWI ( this was one of the memories that R bits and pieces of this time and of Esther Hudson. R knows that she made the realization and shouted for Esther to come see it) . She tells Nat that for R it takes an  extreme amount of alcohol or extremely strong alcohol to even get her intoxicated and needs a constant supply to keep her drunk because it wears off quickly . Meaning painkillers or any type of drugs/ medications are absolutely useless to her . She has to go through all that pain every month for eternity without anything to stop it. Nat thinks about the supplies that R got and shows her ( Jean sees the Memory and smiles) Jean says that R ever the thoughtful person wanted to make sure she has everything that you needed if you are still ….. affected by the monthly cycle and didn’t have to worry about discussing it because * Jean clears her throat after she pauses hesitating saying this next * ….. R KNOWS WHAT the RR DOES for “ graduation” and she knows what the RR “ graduation ceremony” IS , R doesn’t want to cause you any discomfort or pain so she did what she did so you take what you need or want without discussing anything. Even if you are ……unaffected by the monthly cycle she would want you to feel free to take any chocolates or snacks. Nat is teary eyed hearing this because no one ever cared that much about her or her comfort before, she tells Jean that R is the best and Jean does agree. That is when they both come up with a plan to force R to lay down and let them care for her FOR A CHANGE. They force R into bed with mountains of fuzzy warm blankets, a heating pad and loads of chocolates and snacks . Movies too and surrounded by people R cares about.

One last thing for Nat with Scott it’s on sight , she doesn’t like him at all ( he is mean to R and he is just a dick in general) .

Also R can always tell when someone is on their period because she can literally smell all the blood on them.

I am glad we are both doing better on all fronts :)

I wonder if sickly little Wolvie!R was ever nervous about her future (pre-mutation). Like, did she feel her life was already being written by her parents' (mostly mother's) expectations and wanted to break free? Or maybe she was just too young to really understand any of that at the time?

Nat taking R to Disneyland and R pretending she is NOT having a good time at first because she's so embarrassed someone has gone out of their way to give her a good time, and then eventually being so happy and running around so fast even Nat cannot keep up. :)

I wonder if Nat's "brainwashing" of Disney movies can be undone? I hate to think that she would miss out on something that brings R so much joy because of her background, but I guess that's what happens when you get inducted into the Red Room. Perhaps Nat would prefer the newer Disney movies (like Toy Story, Zootopia, etc.), and R is happy to compromise with her on watching those.

In the Darkest Knight AU, I don't think Nat went through the "graduation ceremony" yet because she escaped too early. Although I imagine she was right about there, but escaped just in time. So she would get periods (assuming she wasn't stressed to hell).

Sergeant Beef wouldn't even understand periods all that well, but they are a golden retriever and would be happy to supply for any and all needs that arise with Nat. I don't think would ever take too kindly to someone being mean to her beef, but she would strike back in more subtle ways.

I love the idea that Nat takes care of Wolvie!R on her period (although I'm not sure how willing Nat would be to include Jean in). And to be fair, no one really likes Scott so Nat is not alone there lol.

I hollered at the way you just ended your thoughts with that omg. But you are not wrong. I bet when R was "younger" a.k.a. when was sleeping around a lot, she would be able to tell when women were on their periods and then get them lots of chocolate and flowers and such to get on their good side. ;)

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

12.1.24 Sunday--Can someone give flowers to nana today? Just put we love your existence from all of US!

3:42 am

Still,have windblow...

Done,watching "Reptile" it is weird I watched it thrice coz I always fell asleep in the middle... When somebody was being murdered there will always be a gathering hahaha ( to see guilty faces )....This is a bit funny in my part... In the movie sometimes they double-check each other's behaviour as well... It is about investigation and police world...

Why, is it titled "Reptile"???

The guilty people on me like Mitch and some old fakers friends? Who didn't want me around??? Did they plan to kill me for so long???

People movement on what? For me? I don't understand... Go in where? Go in where,this part I don't understand...

Is Mitch somewhere? Still, giving me these simple batteries with some people since the start of "Showtime"?

I wanna see my cousin-white... I feel bitterish, I'm so impatient... I wanna see him again and say something....I hate it if I can't find him....

10:17 am

Still,have windblow...

So, tomorrow will be our switch on taking care of nana...Of course,it needs few more days or weeks but I hope before Christmas she can recover... But did they understand that nana needs a wider sleeping bed,even a folding bed. I know,I know I wanted AC but nana when she will be here she needs it more...

I told Uncle Jun from the past months that we need AC ( Air Condition not Agatha Christie but I did read it all ) here or nana will go to the hospital for a double expenses... She is always showering coz she is always telling me it is hot...

Again, this will be the saddest part of my life if nana can't go back in her existence here... Gets?

Angels, you must believe me there are old friends, relatives or people that I met along the way who I hope considered me as their FRIEND! For some chinese distant friends I hope you will help me to do smoke religious act of switching the spirit and save the deserving one...

I still feel lazy to apply on-line...Someone said be a modern woman,you don't have to go out to apply... These days, application and assesement is on-line.. Yeah! I got it... It is just that I'm a bit in a hurry to have my next job coz I have no consistent support now from my family coz we are as well having "financial tight budgeting" even on the hospital expenses of my nana now...

Can I ask for angels to extend their flipping wings on the expenses? I don't have wealth on my own these days but I always dream and I'm a dreamer myself...

12:38 noon

Still,have windblow...

Thanks for the special pakbet Crysette...

Yummy!!!

12:41 noon

Thank God for today! Hoping 4 more...

We just always take our Vitamin C Me and John... Next time we are planning to take our multi-vitamins...

2:17 pm

Still,have windblow...

I valùe so much the word family and friends... I need more coffee for these important thoughts...

I'm not the most intelligent coz something happened to me when I was a child... I always love and respect my intelligent friends but they know I was something special, a special kid supposed to be like explaining the 9 planets in the universe that I'm Venus and Mars at the same time... That's why I'm Libra!

2:48 pm

Still,have windblow...

I will drink my drip coffee, I wonder if I need to put a fresh milk? Will put some sugar now...

Thinking of cousin-white and old faker friends???

Thinking of money and job... This is something serious... Thinking of my beauty as well....Some words are snatch by a bad spirit....

3:40 pm

Still,have windblow...

Done,watching "Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children"

Oh! The book of JL about this is still with me, I'm already half-way on the book. My imagination is somehow the same... It is just weird to think that my cousin-white is from "Florida" coz from the past months I heard of Florida and hearing of songs about Florida and it is just weird... Why, is it Florida is appearing these days and in my head. But I'm not sure if they are in Florida in USA... All I know is he is my first cousin in blood and flesh and he is cute and I like him since 2005, time that me and Brien were bf and gf...

I really need to tell him something, it is important to see him again... I hate having these thoughts in my head that, where is my cousin-white? I need to tell him something important... I hate it if Aunt Ten/Tin wanted me to be removed on her white son's life and she chose the 2nd degree cousin,the EXTRA toppings on our ice cream supposed to be....It is supposed to be my ice cream with him not with anyone, not even on other cousin's!!!

Let's go back to "Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children"...

There is a Ymbryne--the one who can turn into a bird. (Bird is very knowledgable ). Her skill is manipulation of time. I guess I have it as well... Yeah,right? I can manipulate time but if I'm so broke then I can have a virus in my system or I will be to totally damaged or becoming nutzy.

I need money and job or wealth or a sure money every now and then... Then, probably I can help them to make a loop,my old fakers friends? Or some good relatives and some distant mutually Chinese Friends? Loop can preserve the last 24 hours...

I pray that my old friends are really my friends and the new people that I met are considering me as their FRIEND and my distant Chinese Friends mutually somewhere hoping we can preserve the loop on my nana...

Once you have the power on the loop but I only have the knowledge here... Hoping they can reset the loop and our days will be longer and for us to live again...

Janeh!!!

Janeh is a japanese term for see yah again!

My brother RV called me, it is about nana and for something....

4:34 pm

Still,have windblow...

Is it in Florida??? My cousin-white...

6:42 pm

Still,have windblow...

I feel irritated,if I can't get my cousin-white... Nobody wants me and I don't want a pity on me. But I truly like my cousin white since 2005? I remember Brien became my bf as an adult that year... The first time I saw my cute cousin-white on my Aunt Ten2x...

Impatient! What am I gonna do? I can't find anyone here that I like...

It is just sad, when my cousin can read this, it is just sad if he is with someone else... So, weird and sad that a long time feelings for someone will come out after a decade and 9 years ago...

10:08 pm

Still,have windblow...

I have a plastics family here even this Uncle DD and biological mother... Supposed to be I will visit my nana coz it is an activity in the family to visit nana on a schedule time. I'm poorish,I don't have a car and I don't have allowance anymore and I don't have a job now...

Or let's say "Benefit of the Doubt" the wealthy group are not organize to assist a poorish member in the family and that's me and John. Or probably they are all busy...

For me it is an ugly thing that we can't have a harmony here in the family to do a routine schedule on nana, for example Uncle Jun today and Uncle DD,the next day Maco and Chian... They all have cars so life is easy for them...Then, Uncle DD sounded that he didn't want me to visit nana, it is difficult to explain but there is motive behind it... Gets,angels?

In fairness, biological mother said today they will remove the tube? It was a different story from Uncle Jun...

Clarification they will remove the Oxygen coz she can breathe normally again... Thank God! Praise God!

I'm trying to get into their hearts... I'm not judgemental... Only their own hearts can tell,what's inside their heart...

In fairness even Crysette should have her own schedule to visit nana, in a way she is a member here in the family coz they are just here for a long time... I asked her if she will visit, she said I don't know if they will bring me there...

For me it is not being showbiz or I'm calling it activity but it is an event in the family that someone in the family are not giving the value of the family should have a team work or a unity in times like this... It doesn't mean I'm poorish or Crysette is still a child, it doesn't mean we will allow to let it pass the moment to visit nana... Not being showbiz but a harmony inside the family. Somehow, difficult to explain...

But let's respect the "Benefit of the Doubt"....I don't know their hearts... Probably... Probably... Probably...

Got this from Google:

Is Benefit of the doubt positive or negative?

"It can be a positive or negative thing to give someone the “benefit of the doubt” and so you must consider this if you find yourself in such a situation. The whole idea of giving someone the benefit of the doubt and the way in which you deliver the message is filled with positives and negatives." (I'm correct probably they are busy,probably2x... )

[witchoftrinity]

3, 8, 19

Mun Questions Regarding Muse

3. If you could change one event in your muse’s life (in their main or canon verse), what would you change?

oh god where do I begin with this girl

The obvious answer is...changing how impulsive she is at the start of the arc she was involved. The glaring problem with changing that and putting a cork in the all out war she considered is then she doesn't really get that development from jumping down the rabbit hole. Even if it would've solved a LOT of problems.

But yeah if she just chilled tf out and kept the idea of rebuilding the bridges in her mind I think she'd be a bit better off.

19. If you had to judge your muse and sentence them to a “fair” fate, what would your judgement be? Would you punish them? Reward them? How?

I go into detail more in the next question because I ranted WAY too much but honestly I agree with everyone that says she should've gotten a worse punishment. Not that I'm a decision maker in a "school anime world student council" but being expelled & forced to do community service is getting it off light for what she did in the grand scheme of things. Still as I explain next I'm (completely biased) feel she deserved a second chance rather then subjected to whatever whims of fate would've happened naturally (In this series considering the "bad end visions" probably nothing good and worse then just "dying")

8. Do you genuinely want your muse to be happy? What do you think would make them most happy in life?

To preface all of this I am a sucker for cute shit. I also can't emotionally stand when kids or anyone in media goes through it. If there's someone in a book, movie, or show that's having a rough time and they've not given me any reason to like hate them to the bone I'm about to cry my heart out. It's one of the top 3 ways you can get me invested by just playing with my heartstrings involving characters who are, to say the least, not having the best time.

And deep down considering the people I had to deal with in my own life I should hate her and say "god no she doesn't deserve to be happy". She's the most stuck up person alive and if I really did ever met a "Mika" IRL I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be friends with her esp if she was around my age group. Thankfully this is fiction and I think I'm safe from meeting those kinds of people. But I can safely say holy shit yes I want her to be happy.

Did she commit actions not limited to treason, acts of terror, and plenty of other war crimes? Yes. However when this CG hit I pretty much lost my shit.

The game does a good job at basically conveying my thoughts to her. Mika, at her core, is really a no good troublemaker. She's basically lied and betrayed you (their teacher) twice by the time she breaks down in front of you. On top of that she basically has solidified the idea she is nothing but a no good Witch who only causes problems.

Forgiving her is a no-go. However at the end of it all seeing he rsmile and being the one to extend a helping hand to learn from her mistakes is IMO the best course.

also I mean look at her she's just a goober (ignore the war crimes)