#she deserves 10 million compliments
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I’m so excited for the finale of never stop blowing up. Obviously, because it’s the finale. But also because Izzy is in a Jack Manhattan shirt and I’m not immune to the most stunning woman to grace this earth.
#never stop blowing up#nsbu#d20 nsbu#d20 never stop blowing up#dimension 20#izzy roland#isabella roland#sapphic#look she looks absolutely beautiful in that#I’m not going to not compliment her#she deserves 10 million compliments
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Hey there! Firstly, big big fan of your art and headcanons, ty for your cool and awesome big brain ❤️ Now that you’ve seen the movie, I’m wondering what your thoughts are on Shimo??? I’ve just seen impressions of her so scattered. (I saw your post on how she will NOT be treated as a pet, and I so appreciate that.)
I will say, for me the ‘old gal’ vibes are so strong and I’m here for it. Like when Goji blasts his atomic breath into the sky at the end and she’s looking at it with such awe and her cute super gummy smile, it reminds me of when a grandma gets shown some common piece of technology that the rest of us are used to, but she just can’t heckin believe it because she lives in a damn cave??? I loved that.
hi hi! omg u think i have a big brain...... compliment of the century.... i must have ppl fooled bcuz i am viscerally dumb most of the time
anywAYS. gxk spoilers below (and a lot of ranting)
shimo my beloved💙 i appreciate most interpretations of her, besides people who are just straight up caling her a dog. and like, not in the way i’d compare goji to a cat? for me it's more mannerisms based, so for goji my main expression/mannerism inspirations are cats, wolves, and komodo dragons (obviously), and for mosu it's owls and cats, with a crumb of horses because of their 'ear' communication so i use that with her antennae.
sorry for tangent but anyways. i dont need someone barking at me that i call goji a cat/draw him acting like a cat so calling shimo ‘kong’s pet dog’ is fine. i think its the difference between goji having the personality i characterize him with + mannerisms inspired by other animals, vs. him having no personality besides Being A Cat. like, he’s a dumbfuck but he’s clearly an intelligent creature capable of communication and understanding. i make a lot of shitposts but truly in my personal hc i’d never reduce him to ‘pet level intelligence’
i think i’m extra touchy about people calling her ‘kong’s pet’ because like. dawg. did you watch the movie? she was JUST freed from being skar’s slave/beast of burden/abused pet whatever you wanna call it. why would you want her to become another creature’s pet again?(obviously minus the abuse) idk mannn it just feels…. reductive somehow. she clearly shows intelligence and understanding when she realizes what’s happening during the fight and helps to kill skar. i just refuse to reduce her entire character to kong’s pet status bcuz that makes me uncomfortable asf.
as a disclaimer, you’re welcome to have whatever hc you enjoy. me expressing my personal thoughts on the matter isn’t an attack on anyone who characterizes her that way, i’m just not interested in engaging with it in the slightest.
DOUBLE ANYWAYS i just needed to get that outta my system. TIME FOR CUTE FUN IDEAS YAHOOO
i’m seeing mixed info about her age so idk where she actually sits there?? i remember seeing something like she’s the First Titan but i also think the novelization of the movie said she’s only 3 million years old?? when im p sure they’ve said goji is 250+ million years old so…. i have no clue there lol. personally she feels less jaded and grumpy than goji does to me so my brain automatically sees her as similar or younger bcuz of my Grumpy Old Man bias.
i’m still workin out my ideas for her but based on how the movie ends i like to think she helps kong with relocating the apes to a better home, and they mostly live in HE. her n kong venture up for surface dates bcuz she gets what she fucking deserves 💙
goji nearly has an aneurysm the first time they come up, since mosu literally takes them for a lil tour of monster island. bro standing there clenching his fist like the arthur meme, he begrudgingly knows she’s right and eventually he gets used to it
i got more ideas cookin for her but this post is already too damn long cuz of my ranting time to stfu
SHIMO BEST GIRL 10/10
#gxk spoilers#kai talks#KAI FKIN YAPS SOMEONE SHUT ME UP#godzilla#mothra#shimo#kong#didnt have time to spellcheck dont @ me
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— “ 𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈𝐈. ” | Danny Gaines x Female Reader.
Mini Series. Your father owned a local mechanic shop in a small town. It was the day Danny stepped into the shop that your love story began.
Notes. English isn't my native language so typos and grammar issues are likely.
Warnings. This fic is sfw.
Enjoy. I hope you enjoy the content. Much love, Cherry. 🍒
The next morning Danny headed into work as per usual, he greeted your father good morning and made coffee for the both of them. After helping with some of the opening tasks and paperwork for the day, he went to work on some of the cars in the back, getting fixed and ready for their owners to collect and drive again. He couldn't help but think about you, how you looked at him with your pretty eyes. How warmed you felt when he hugged you tight. How sweet you sounded when you told him whatever was on your mind. Yet he couldn't help the feeling of unworthiness. You and your father have done so much for him, and he would forever be in your debt, but you had gone to college, studying and hard working to achieve a life that was more desirable than being a lone person. He felt as he couldn't give you nearly half of what you deserved, he was too dependent on the bare minimum. But he loves you, he knows he does, and he knows you feel the same.
Your father could sense something was up, and without a single thought he just immediately asked Danny if everything was alright. "Yeah I just, im feeling a bit conflicted about something." Danny replied. "Something or someone?" Your father asked, trying to squeeze out more information. "Ahh it's someone." Danny nervously replied. "Well son don't be shy, what is it that's sitting so heavy on your heart?" Your father asked. "It's ahhh, it's Y/N." Danny said with a sigh, and your father without hesitation said: "She likes you, a lot. I can hear her talking to her girlfriends about you, she forgot we live within humble walls, they aint that thick." And then your father added: "and also I saw you to huggin' by the door last night. Reminded me of when me and Y/N's mother were young and in love". Danny smiled at the thought but then the smile that graced his face turned, and with a sad tone he said: "but she deserves better, she deserves the world and beyond. I don't want to hold her from the life she could have." "Son, do you love her?" Your father asked, "With all my heart." Danny replied. "Well than, why don't you leave a bit early tonight, take her out to dinner, but bring her home by 10." "Yessir!" Danny replied.
When you came to the shop you were surprise to see Danny missing, "ahh dad, where's Danny?" You asked. "He said he has somethin' important tonight, so I let him leave early, but he did want me to hand you this." Your father answered and gave you a note from Danny, telling you to get ready because he will be at your house at six to pick you up. You blushed and rushed home to get ready, a million thoughts racing through your mind and butterflies filled your heart. As promised Danny was at your doorstep by six. "Hey beautiful" he said when you answered the door you chuckled and smiled, complimenting him back. He took you out to the fields, surrounded be sunflowers and dusky skies. After picking out a little makeshift bouquet for you, the two of you headed to a local pizza shop, where Danny treated you to dinner and the two of you spent the evening together.
Tonight when Danny walked you home, at the front step of your door, he couldn't help himself and looked into your eyes. "Thank you Danny, I had a lot of fun tonight." You said in a small voice, still holding your little sunflower bouquet Danny picked for you when you went to the fields. He smiled and his hand graced your face. He gently moved a piece of your hair behind your ear, and leaned in for a kiss. His lips felt so soft on yours, it was just as magical as you fantasized it to be. You kissed him back wanting more and more but Danny slowly pulled away, kissing the top of your forehead before whispering a "goodnight, Y/N". You quietly replied a "goodnight, Danny" and headed inside. The both of you falling asleep dreaming about the other, feeling euphoric, and craving the next day when you'd finally meet again.
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Scars first pirate stream events
Second half :]
Reddoons coming to the meeting late cause he was drunk on seawater is 10/10 characterisation
-Why wasn't Scar offered all 4 factions this is so unfair
-THEYRE GOING ON A (Contractual) FIELD TRIP
-"Sausage you look like a million dabloons" Thats the best compliment Scars ever given
-What is this Purple Reef Island???
-OMG LIL BLOBBO THING
-Aw they're calling it Krubby (Crab + Puppy)
-Sausage drinking the flying ale and then saying "I wasn't being possessed it's just alcohol" Dam
-Reddoons & Cleo drinking in the background Jesus
- I don't trust the robed people hmmmmmmmm
-NOOOO THEY TOOK GUQQIE
-Kestrels being so hopeful but I don't think she's coming back..
-They forgot to use the cinematic and Scar used the wrong one clearly the best cinematography
-Woah the Aimsey art is sickkkk but is she alright
-Burning wagon? Purple tentacles?
-Oh lord she dead
-Martyn trying to lighten the mood when Aimsey just died
-Guqqie & Aimsey have fallen..
-Wait is Olis wife a Crab?
-Oli won't stop talking about his wife simp move
-I didn't know balls was pronounced bulls and why is Sausage playing with Olis
-Im confused as to how scripted this is cause it clearly is but I still love it
-Sausage has got wenches???
-Scar tryna sell banana peels to Scott he's such a salesman
-Scars only priority is getting Jellie
-The Kites lost their leader how sad
-I didn't realise Krow & Sausage speak Spanish
-Acho canonically is a telepath???
-Scar cannot resist pulling out a knife
-I bet Martyns fear/dislike of Kruppys has some sort of lore relevance
-Scar so sad he can't go monster hunting what a shame
-"My dyslexia is on 308% right now"
-Tubbos searching for bones in chat?
-Also I should say the Kestrels were meant to do a quest together but Scar saw Monster Hunting and just went
-Massive abandoned pirate ship?
-Omg its Puffy again
-"ur skin is so soft ur glowing queen" Eloise who are you talking too?
-"Would you still love me if I was a worm" -Eloise, 2023
-Chonky Parrot!
-Scars been preparing a Scar rant I can't wait
-Ew Bek has Worms
-And Tubbo robbed a weapons shop???
-I need a Puffy Scar MCC Team they're a great duo
-Just noticed Scars hat says Ryan on it I love that detail
-Shit why are the komodo dragons so terrifying
-But theirs nothing more terrifying then the pirates smp server chat
-Scars gonna conquer the world with a fillet knife
-The duck didn't deserve its fate
-Alison mistook Scar for KyleEff and Scar didn't notice somehow?
-Also she forgot who Jellie was she deserves death
-End of W stream
Won't do this for the other streams but I can't wait to see them. If Scar falls soon I will be so sad he needs to be alive to take care of Jellie. I'm so excited to see what else he does let's goooooooooo
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You know...i need something to get off my chest..so this is for the anons..who’s been putting me through hell..and had a small amount of Nice anons but..this is the Mostly On Anon haters..so..*Clears throat*..here we go..
*Inhale and Exhale* For those..hateful, evil, and cruel ass anon who’s been cruel to me..for the past 10 years..of my fucking life...You know... I remember you have the gall to tell me that I was acting like a “Villian” in the first place...well..Guess what?..i’m not a villian...you are...YOU always a villian in this entire tumblr for the past 10 years...YOU send me hates For 10 years..with no second thoughts..or remorse..on some kind?..And Everytime i asked “Why did you say that or Do that?” you always Comes out Silent because you knew that it was wrong..and you never Admit that what you did was horrible...and it’s not the “talking” part...is what you did to saphira...The most villianous and sick thing you did is You trying to “RAPE” Saphira with that thorny ass Dick I mean look at this link here!!
https://www.tumblr.com/saphirafoxgirlspost1/636234903266246656/rapes-saphira-with-a-thorny-cock-its-what-you?source=share yea Explain that huh!? that was 3 years ago..and you have the gall to call me a villian while you did THIS to my muse! not only that..but beating my Poor saphira like she’s your punching bag and treated her Like She’s a Biggest “Slut” in whole tumblr! well your the biggest Slut who threw Insults at everyone else just to make you feel better and cause Drama alot..like Oh how should i say “Me as annmod” The woman who ruined me..the woman that She and her friends Ruined my life..and thinking that I’m a “bad guy”..and a “Toxic” person...and also you have the audacity to Insulted me when i have aspergers...and me being an autistic spectrum..and you show No respect at all!..and you never ONCE Said that your sorry for what you Did..but that doesn’t matter anymore.. You abused, mistreat and berated me and saphira...My dream is to become a famous tumblrer...but..i feared someone else did..and my Dream was shattered into a Million pieces no thanks to YOU, ANNMOD, GENIEMOD and everyone else!..and foxymod apoligize to me..but i don’t Forgive him for what he did..but i forgive him as a person but not his actions...You! no...i don’t forgive any haters who mistreated Saphira and I For 10..years...10 years..During that time..i Survive the hurricanes..and what do i got..alot of hates..instead of saying “are you alright?” or any compliments.. All i ever wanted was my Stories to be notice..but not anymore...i felt like i was giving up..but you insulted my friends and My sister ariel! thats go too far..you can insult me all you want..but you better leave my friends and my sisters out of this!..i deserve better than this you know...and Also..one of these days..if tumblr decided to pulls out a tracking thing...I’ll find out who it is..and make sure that I’ll make you anon haters hell like you did to me and saph...*cross arms coldly*...and I will never forigve you at all..unless you want to apoligize to me and saph..thats fine..but i’m not forgiving anyone who put me and saph through...but my dream of being Tumblrer famous...is ruined..No thanks..to you..anon haters..i hope your happy now... and also...everytime i turn off the anon ask...and waiting for few days..i was Hoping that ya’ll can reflect for what you did...And I was wrong...Ya’ll never change...and you have the nerve..to say something that I don’t change...i think you should look in the mirror and tell me who hasn’t change for the past..10 years...And also..FYI...i lost my grandpa last month on the 8th of July..and You of all anons..never send me a nice one..because I knew behind that you were laughing like a devil itself...*Spits on the ground* Shameful...just...shameful..
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So over on patreon Trevor asked for my take on the Addams Family and I grew up LOVING the Addams family movies so here we are. Instead of doing a straight up style interpretation, I decided to do a full on design challenge, using the characters as bases to make a black southern gothic Addams au. I actually drew the kids first, using the character bases of Wednesday and Pugsley to create some delightful kiddos I'm calling Sunday and Blanche. I of course then redesigned Gomez and Morticia into Carlisle and Mortesha.
The Addams have a very specific high aristocratic goth aesthetic (they've got a butler and nobody really works among other things) so in this re-imagining I wanted to go with vibes that run a little more middle class/upper middle class. I thought it would be interesting to think about what would be considered weird and off-putting in an entirely different culture, and how being a big ol' goth is way less controversial than it used to be.
I tried to keep this short (HAHAHAHAHAHA) so I didn't spin off into an essay about villain coded families, black people in the horror genre, and normalcy as it pertains to social survival, but just...bits of that are in these designs and lore. Keep that in mind.
Also I made the kids twins because they've flip flopped in age so much in different media and also twins run in my family (i'm the daughter of one). And let's face it, I'm pulling a lot of their southern gothic traits from living as a southern goth so *shrug*.
10 thousand pounds of lore incoming loooooooooool.
The Parents
From the moment he saw her he knew that there was a 50/50 chance of him either never making it out of that swamp alive or marrying the figure that was creeping out from under the distant willow tree in a black cocktail dress. The third time she found him trussed up in one of her traps, he complimented her rope work and asked if she'd like to go out sometime after his head wound stopped bleeding.
Or while it was still bleeding.
If she was into that.
Some kids and a mysteriously burnt down Piggly Wiggly later, their love is still as strong and inescapable as a bear trap in a sink hole.
Carlisle Guillermo (now Addams through marriage but I wanted to give him two first names for a name since Gomez has two last names) makes a vaguely described living practicing ‘law’ around town. A loophole king, people come to him from miles around with contracts signed in blood, fights over chunks of hair buried in their rivals’ yard, dehydrated primate hands, memories that seemed like dreams until the evidence of their happenings became too real, and other regular Legal Items asking for counsel which he is all too happy to give. For a price. Sometimes that price is a homemade pie and sometimes it’s a million dollars, depends on who you are. Whatever you’re asked to pay it’s worth that price, and if you try to scam him out of work or he just plain doesn’t like you? Well. He knows how to twist a contract better than anything at the crossroads.
And he always gets his due.
He doesn’t just serve the local (living)humans though, there are many things that need proper legal representation in this day and age. You wouldn’t believe how many city councils try to build on sacred burial grounds even after he lets them know that his ghostly clients are totally gonna haunt the FUCK out of the ensuing shitty condos and curse their families for all eternity. At least 50% of his energy goes towards dealing with real estate bullshit.
Carl is an excitable and good natured(?) man who loves his family, cigars, dancing, and his many knife-based hobbies. People find him very charming once they get past the feeling that they’re talking to a sultry gator badly disguising itself as a human. I didn’t put a ton of deep thought into designing him, mostly I wanted to make a middle aged dude who looked like he would have been voted ‘most likely to smooch the literal devil’ in high school. Tbh he probably has, but no demonic ex’s can compare to his lovely wife~
Mortesha Addams(her name was already perfect so I just tweaked it)is a woman of many talents. A self proclaimed homemaker, she prides herself on a greenhouse full of Concerning Foliage, a beautiful wasp apiary, and a coop full of what are probably chickens that she keeps for what are probably eggs. She’s also an avid creator of the outsider art that can be seen around the estate. She has taken on the family business of selling her homemade goods in a little stall by the road just outside the swamp with her mom, and makes pretty good money doing so. A surprising amount of poison gets bought in quaint southern towns.
Speaking of poison, people who come out to the edge of the swamp to buy it are usually carrying a lot of secrets around, and Mortesha knows most of them. It’s not like she pries the truth out of people, it just so happens that many nervous hellos eventually turn into the tragic backstory power hour if she’s alone with a client for long enough. She supposes that’s just how people are. Despite the fact that the Addams are very active in the community (whether the community likes it or not) she especially, as a direct descendant of the first Addams matriarch, is seen as…Well not an outsider because the community feels A Certain Way about outsiders and despite it all the Addams are their people, but maybe something like an exception. They feel like whatever weirdness they’re hiding can’t be weirder than any given Addams, so they get a little loose with their words.
This is amusing to her, since Addams’ don’t naturally keep the kind dramatic secrets that their surface level prim and proper neighbors do. It’s much more fun to openly talk about those things.
Do they have a sadly decrepit yet terrifying grandma up in the attic? Yeah, like three. They got a tv, all the creepy porcelain dolls they could want, and they’re close to family. Where do you keep your gram-grams?
Any bodies buried on the property? Yeah some, but most are thrown to the gators.
Any creeping through the balmy summer night with ill intentions? Yeah dude, everyone loves a nice family stroll.
What about dangerous forbidden love? If an adult Addams isn’t incorporeal then they’re either queer or in a torrid romance with some person/thing mysteriously drawn to that awful swamp. Sometimes both at the same time. Most times actually.
Mortesha would know.
The current head of the Addams family is just as outgoing as her husband but a lot quieter and harder to read. She never really seems to get mad about much and always has a genteel smile for everyone whether they deserve it or not. A seven foot tall human shaped “Oh, bless your heart”. A perfectly composed Lady even when she’s, oh I dunno, burning down a Piggly Wiggly. You know. A regular southern mom. Chat her up at the hair salon for 50% off a jar of wasp honey with your next purchase of a mysterious but foreboding packet of herbs.
Designing her was pretty easy because I just drew a lankier Grace Jones and called it a day. I had some problems with her outfit simply because if we were going HARD southern gothic then she’d probably be wearing a white/cream dress with a fuller skirt but I thought keeping the silhouette and the black was more important. She’s supposed to be an anti southern gothic southern gothic character anyway. A woman who looks like she has a million secrets who is actually the most open person you could meet. For better or worse. The red hair came from a coloring error that I really ended up liking (my mom had red hair her whole childhood that only darkened up in high school so I can buy that an Addams can be naturally fire engine red) and the veil was to get more of that classic Morticia silhouette in there.
The Children
Sunday and Blanche are the twin children of Carlisle and Mortesha Addams. Some say the Addams clan got their cursed homestead when a wealthy local businessman made a deal with the devil and lost, leaving his grand mansion to his least favorite maid and cutting his losses once he realized that the swamp would do everything it could to drag the house into the water and take what was owed with its horrible curse. Others say that the family has just always squatted there and no one really cares because man, fuck that particular swamp. Have you been in there? Absolute horror show.
Anyway.
Blanche is the more outgoing sibling and quite the engineer/mad scientist in the making. He started going grey at 2 weeks old but considering he was also rocking some extra fingers, toes, and a tiny tail (he takes after his dad), his parents just put it on the 'not life threatening' pile and decided not to worry about it. He's the kind of smart that teachers find utterly infuriating, less a dog eagerly learning and obeying commands and more a hyena who keeps teaching itself how to pick locks. He has a few friends in his school's robotics club (which they honestly allowed him to make so the school could contain his... creations) but mostly hangs out with his sister exploring the swamp. They find all sorts of neat things in there! wedding rings, suspiciously lumpy garbage bags, cloaked cultists who can't read private property signs, it's an adventure every day!
Blanche is all about experimentation with his creations, his look, and his tether to this mortal coil. Is lipstick a cool thing to try? Let's find out. Can he get out of a strait jacket fast enough after being pushed into the depths of the swamp by his sister? let's find out. He's not dead yet and confused local doctors can attest to the fact that he's rarely attained more than a bad bruise so he's pretty set on continuing to kiss rattlesnakes on their cute little heads and have his sister practice her knife throwing at him until that fact changes.
Blanche is very much a country goth. Cowboy boots (customized by his mom), knife, and lighter are daily accessories. He likes to wear the crusty swamp jewelry they find (the rust adds a splash of color!) and despite appearances he does try to keep himself neat. He's just got natural Grunge Colors and a tendency to wear clothes he likes until they fall apart. Pugsley always seemed the most modernly styled to me (which might just be because little boys clothes have been the same for a long time) so I wanted Blanche to be the most purposely fashionable Addams. Everyone else is goth by nature, but he's the only one truly familiar with goth as an alternative fashion.
I got really into designing Blanche because honestly, I find Pugsley to be the most boring member of the family. And he was hard to design! I had to mess with his vibe a lot to get him looking how I wanted. I know he's supposed to evoke an " 'evil' little boy next door who's parents never reign him in", but that's just goth Dennis The Menace. I's 2020. We can at least go queer goth Calvin.
Sunday was much easier to design. Wednesday was my favorite as a child (of course) and I really wanted to keep the spirit of her look while adding things like billowy sleeves (it gets HOT down here), big poofy twists instead of braids, and a nice tie. She's a professional after all, been running the local pet cemetery since she was 6 and the previous groundskeeper met with an unfortunate accident after telling her that tarantulas don't have souls. Her specialty is creating beautiful naturalistic animal funerals similar to those that Maquenda (https://linktr.ee/artofmaquenda) makes, and she takes pride in creating miniature dioramas of her subjects after each burial which she uses as a kind of 3D catalog for future clients.
She really wants to try out her skills on humans one day. Well. Publicly try out her skills. Lotta random bodies float into the swamp. None of them have turned down her requests for diorama models so far. Most seem downright flattered. Plus, she usually figures out which graveyard/crime scene they floated over from and gets her parents to give them a lift back. She'll even help enact terrifying revenge from beyond the grave on whoever put them there if she's not, y'know, busy.
Besides arts, crafts, and pet based funerary arrangements, Sunday is an avid lover of archery (any ranged weapon really), books where little fantasy adventure animals die dramatic deaths, and history. She is That Kid who eagerly raises her hand when asked who Christopher Columbus was and ends up being sent out of class after 15 minutes for making 'a scene'. Her favorite party trick is just picking an item in the room and talking about how it relates to either some obscure historical figure with a buck wild life or a horrible disaster. At least one charity pancake breakfast ended with children in tears after her vivid description of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919.
Social-wise, while Wednesday is the girl that people ask to smile because they think she'd, "look so pretty", Sunday is rarely asked anything at all. People just kind of assume from her quiet nature (in between horrible history facts) that she's angry all the time and that she hates everyone. This is untrue. She hates some people but she's ambivalent to most everyone else and even downright friendly if you bother to talk to her like a person instead of a terrifying cryptid. Like, she IS a terrifying cryptid but she's also a little girl.
That’s about it for now. One day I might do the other family members but for now I’m happy with the four I’ve redesigned. Making an au! Lurch in a family that doesn’t do butlers could be interesting. Over on patreon I put forth that he could just be Motesha’s mute little brother (similar bone structure) but Amy Crook had the nice idea of quote: “ a mysterious "cousin" that "helps around the house" whose origins are both long in the past and faintly unsettling. He's good for lifting heavy things, like that tank of propane you're about to throw into the burning Piggly Wiggly... “ which i now consider canon. Who's kid is he? How old is he? Not important. Anyone willing to commit arson with you is family.
Annnnyway. This challenge was a lot of fun! I love indulging in AU’s.
#long post#the addams family#Character Design#au#design challenge#i am incapable of doing a design challenge like a normal person#oh god i forgot the cut lol
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Million Dollar Man | chapter two
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/422a78cba9a6c3291b425198ae4d1e71/e15cb08c06467d8c-c3/s540x810/a7ca44e22796e895f860f04f7ffc1bd01d45bb61.jpg)
18+
summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.
Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, kissing, drinking mention, lowkey perv!Spencer, cum play, praise, oral (female receiving), grinding, love confessions, arrangements, Spencers anxiety, (more to add)
word count: 3.4K
a/n: updates on Wednesdays and saturdays at 2 pm est
Chapter Two | Masterlist
She sat on the subway with an anxious pit in her stomach and her purse held close to her chest. Her laptop in her bag, she didn’t want to lose it on her way to the most important meeting of her whole life.
Her story was becoming a book, she was almost done the final draft, they were making touch-ups to the cover and picking the type of paper today.
Her dreams were coming true within the next month, soon she’d have a physical copy of her book, her pre-sales were showing that she’d be on the bestseller list, and her name was finally going to be on the cover of this one.
She sighed and reached for her necklace, holding it between her fingers as she took a few deep breaths. She was doing so much better today than she was last year and it was all because of Spencer, he was the best thing to happen to her. To think she complimented his sweater vest and now he’s the only person in her life she can count on.
All she can think about is him for the rest of her journey, through 4 more stops she keeps her eyes closed as she thinks of all his little facts and his cute laugh. She smiles to herself and the anxiety slips away, she loves him and she knows that for sure, but she just doesn’t know how she loves him.
She’s never had a sibling, her best friends are all women, her previous boyfriends were all shit and her other sugar daddies were never this wonderful, and her parents are lesbians… she doesn’t know what her feelings really are for Spencer, mainly because she’s never known any other men to compare him to.
But she does know the exact moment she realized she fell for him.
He booked a hotel room in DC after a local case, asking her to meet him in there at 10 pm. She was waiting in the bathtub when he arrived, bubbles galore, her hair up and arms open, “welcome home, honey.”
He laughs, “you want me to get in there with you?”
She just nods, “let me take care of you, daddy?”
He takes off his blazer, pulls his tie off and starts to unbutton his shirt. She watches patiently as he gets undressed, and it’s not sexual to her. He’s her person, her best friend, the only human being she would ever share a moment like this with and that’s when it hits her.
She doesn’t accept it just yet.
It’s not until he’s lying on her chest, between her legs, cheek resting on her boobs as she runs a sponge over his back while he gives her a little run down on his terrible week. His co-worker almost died, his mom is stressing him out, the only good thing he has left is her and she knows that.
“And then I get to my moms facility and she’s had a really good day, she knows me and she knows all of my childhood again and she’s all right there in front of me and yet she’s so far away. I’m never going to get all the time I want with her and it’s really hard to accept.”
He shares things with her that he doesn’t even tell his therapist. Because his therapist doesn’t hold him like a child against her chest and tell him he’s okay when he get’s upset.
Y/N loves him, so she kisses his forehead, “I’m so sorry, I have 2 moms if you’d like to have one?”
“It’s okay, I would love to meet them sometime though,” he wraps his arms around her waist a little tighter under the water. “Thank you for tonight.”
“Did I mention my leg is 44 inches from hip to toe?” She asks in the middle of the silence, quoting pretty woman, knowing he hasn’t seen that far into the movie yet. “So basically we’re talking about 88 inches of therapy for the bargain price of $800 dollars a week.”
Her legs wrap around him and their naked bodies are closer than they’ve ever been and yet it’s completely platonic, “I’d spend a million dollars on you if it always meant feeling this good after.”
She runs her cheek along his wet hair as he snuggles into her neck, “mmm, I like the sound of that,” she teased. “My million dollar man.”
Her stop rolls around and she pulls herself out of her day dreams to get off the train and head to her meeting. She smiles as she walks through the station, up the stairs and onto the busy downtown streets when she gets a text with Spencers special chime. She opens it when she gets to where she’s going, safely inside and in the waiting room.
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It makes her laugh in the waiting room. People look at her but she doesn’t care, he’s so special to her she feels butterflies in her stomach even when he’s not around.
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“Y/N!” She hears her name being called by her editor, he’s over ecstatic as he comes running out to get her. “Come, come we have so many choices to make!” He jumps up and down as he holds her arm, like a child in a candy store.
“Andy, chill man,” she laughs at him and plays it cool, “It’s just the cover being finalized.”
“It’s our baby!” He teases back, pushing his glasses up and tugging her behind the glass doors of the office.
She’s surrounded by people and paper and huge versions of her book cover. She has a sharpie as she fixed mistakes and jots down final ideas. “And I wan’t Phil to look more human and less like data from Star Trek?”
“But Dorothy looks okay?” The artist asks, nervously and Y/N can tell.
“She looks beautiful! You really brought her justice,” she smiles, “really she looks the same in my head! It’s just Phil and I’m sure it’s tough getting a drawing to look like a robotic human, let alone human.”
“I have some ideas?” She opens up more, taking her iPad out and sliding it across the table, “I wanted to give him more of a Sophia feel? His face is silicone but his joints and everything are more like an Elon Musk crash dummy.”
“That’s perfect!” She’s shocked, “why didn’t that go in the first draft?”
“I was worried it was too much,” she’s a little older than Y/N, and yet her anxiety is that of a teenage girl. “I’m going to get working on the final, do you want some emailed versions tonight?”
“Yes please,” she smiles.
“So we’re done?” Andy asks, “we’ve made all our final calls?”
“I believe we have,” Y/N closes her laptop and takes her phone out, taking a photo of the final rough sketch of her book cover on the table to send to Spencer before he comes to pick her up. She can’t wait to see him now.
—
They’re sitting side by side in matching spa robes, he’s getting a pedicure while she gets her nails done. Leaning back in her chair with a face mask and cucumbers on her eyes, she’s never felt more relaxed in her life. And just in time too, her back was killing her from writing, her knuckles hurt and she just needed a break.
Spencer did too, he was genuinely not having a good time at work anymore, every case made him spiral and he always looked to Y/N on days like that. They met more than once a week now, she got $800 every Friday and she didn’t even really need it anymore. He was coving for so much of her bills and lively hood that her savings account was growing and growing because of him.
For the first time in her life she thought she would be okay if a man left her. As terrible as it was, as much as her moms tried to raise her differently, she fell down the daddy issues rabbit hole and she’s never going to find her way out— however, luckily for her, Spencer is down here too, and he brought a flashlight.
He understands her, more than anyone else on earth. He knows all her secrets, every crush and bad grade and snide remark she’s ever kept to herself. He didn’t judge her, he could actually listen to her issues and tell her why she had them. He gave better advice than a therapist and he was able to get information for her if he didn’t know the answer to what she was going through.
He’s absolutely everything to her and yet he’s 14 years older than her, he’s still traumatized beyond belief, he’s sad and ashamed and recovering… but he’s the best man in the whole world and she wishes he could see that. If he just looked at himself from her eyes, if he felt how she did in her soul when they were together, he’d love himself.
They’re too relaxed to drive home, and Spencer knew that would happen beforehand, bringing her a change of clothes (lingerie) and that robe me mentioned. He books a hotel above the spa and takes her to it. Arms linked as they enter the suite, she’s amazed to find more than one gift bag on the bed.
“How many gifts is this now?”
“We’re at 5 out of 24.”
She laughs as she wraps her arms around him in a thank you hug, “this is what you consider 4 gifts? Spencer there are like 8 things on the bed, let alone the massage and manicure?”
“If you think this is too much I guess you’re going to get really mad next week,” he teases as she looks up at him with a surprised look on her face.
“Spencer, I am so busy next week, I cannot be galavanting around with my sugar daddy,” she tries to act like she doesn’t want to go on an adventure with him again.
The last trip they took was the best week of her life. They went to all the historical sites in the UK that she and Spencer had talked about. Mainly old churches and castles, strange poets graves, random art and most importantly; stone henge. It was a trip of a lifetime and he took it with her.
“I watched the rest of Pretty Woman the other day,” he smiles, “and I thought I’d pull an Edward Lewis and really surprise you because you deserve it.”
“You know how the movie ends, right?” Her heart beats really fast in her chest and she wants him to love her so bad but it’s also terrifying now that she’s this close.
“He lets her choose,” he whispers.
“He rescues her,” she corrects him.
“And she rescues him right back,” he really did watch the end of the movie.
It makes her heart skip a beat as she swallows sharply, “what does this mean for us?”
“I have a whole plan, a whole sequence of events I want to stick to. I wanted to make you fall in love with me this week and ask you on your birthday, can we still do that?” He pleads with her, he’s so serious. He’s clearly put a lot of effort into this.
“Absolutely,” she smiles, “but if you’re going to make me wait that long for you to ask, you still can’t kiss me till then. No matter how much I already love you.”
“Really?” He’s so soft with her, she knows he’s not reacting to the teasing. He’s never had someone tell him they love him and then stay after.
“I would never lie to you about that, spence. I know what love means to you, I know how scared you are and I’m scared too. But I know there is no one else in the whole world I’d rather be scared with than you,” she holds him tighter and rubs her nose against his, “so what’s in the bags, daddy? Finish your surprise.”
She plays along perfectly, stepping back and hauling him towards the bed. “I got you some outfits and things for the next 2 weeks, we have a few things planned. We’re going on a flight soon, I have new luggage being delivered to your apartment this week and we’re going to see your moms for 3 days.”
“No,” she shakes her head, “there’s no way, Spencer, I haven’t seen them in 5 years, I’m going to cry.”
“I know,” he cups her jaw with his hand. “They’re really excited to see you.”
She hugs him tight, kissing his neck as she holds him. “Thank you, daddy, do you want me to put something on for you now?”
“I’m just going to take it off you, plus, what your wearing is sexy enough, he whispers back. “You’re always so beautiful, baby.”
“I thought you were saving the best for last?” She asks as she pulls back, overly eager and he can tell.
“I want to repay the favour from the other night.”
She doesn’t mean to gasp and yet she does, “please?”
He pulls on the tie of her robe, opening it enough to snake a hand behind her back and draw her in with a hand on her bare back. “Please what?”
“Please, daddy?” She looks up with her best begging eyes, perfect pout and all. “I want you to touch me, I promise I’ll be a good girl.”
He steps away from her to swipe all the bags off the bed before picking her up and laying her back against the pillows. He kisses down her body, hand on her lover back as she arches, he drags his bottom lip from her belly button to her cleavage. Nipping and sucking at the exposed skin on her chest, pulling her breasts out of the bra to suck on her nipples, she moans and it’s louder than she expected.
As she plays with his hair, he marks her, bruising small little love bites all the way down as he makes his way between her legs, “take me, please?”
He’s been dreaming of this for so long, he can’t even give you an accurate number of times his mind has drifted to the thought of how wonderful she would taste, how beautiful she’d sound…
“Tell me how badly you want me?” He asks as he spreads her legs and kisses her left thigh.
“I haven’t had sex in 10 months while waiting for you. Daddy, please you’ve owned me for so long, just take what’s yours already for gods sa- OH!”
With a broad lick, his tongue flattens against her core and it shuts her up. She gets what she wants, holding into his hair as she tosses her head back, taking it all in and enjoying it. He’s been on her mind for months, every time her vibrator was where he is now, she thought of him. he’s been the man of her dreams longer than she’s known him, and he was proving it.
“Right there, daddy,” she speaks through shallow breaths, “do you know how much I’ve thought of this?”
“You know I don’t,” the vibrations of his voice against her skin are glorious, he looks up at her through his lashes as his tongue flicks over her clit and she shakes a bit.
“Fuck,” she gasps, gripping his hair tighter, “better than I thought you’d be, fuck, too bad you— Jesus, don’t have the stash anymore…”
He stops and looks up at her, the smirk on his face glistening with her juices, “the stash?”
She nods, “I’ve thought about calling it the pussy tickler,” she teases, running her hand down his cheek and swiping her thumb across his bottom lip before bringing it up to her mouth to taste, “I want more of you.”
He kisses back up her body and she reaches for his robe the second he’s close enough. “Just grind against me? I know you’re waiting but we can still feel good together?”
He kisses the side of her mouth and she takes that as a yes, wrapping her legs around him so his hard cock is pressed right against her core as they move their hips in synchronicity with each other. His breathing is heavy as he kisses her cheek and jaw, her nails scratch down his back, he feels absolutely amazing against her.
She feels so empty, she wants him so bad she’s clenching around nothing as she squirms against his cock and wishes she was full.
“I wish I could move time,” she whispers. “Fuck, why can’t it be my birthday?”
He laughs against her, grazing his teeth over her neck and drawing another moan from her but then he stops moving his hips, “why are you so impatient?”
“Remember I said I stopped enjoying everything? Well, taking a 10 month break from sex and thinking about you every time I got off has made me desperate,” her hand cups his cheek, “I’d wait forever for you, but a girl needs to be fucked hard every once in a while.”
Only she could find a way to make something both profoundly beautiful and whorish at the same time, he loved her for it and she knew that now. He smiles and leaned in to rub his nose against hers and it takes everything in her not to kiss him. The same way it was taking everything in him not to slip into her as he began to grind against her once more.
She’s so close, the accidental edging has added a whole new level of desperation she’s never felt before. She wants to cum for him so bad, but more importantly she wants him to cum for her.
“Take my bra off,” she whispers, Spencer’s hands travel behind her back to unclasp it and he helps her out of it before tossing it to the floor.
“Cum for me daddy,” she whispers in his head with a hand in his hair, gripping him tightly as he bites at her neck, “cover me with your cum like you’re marking your territory.”
“Shit,” his hips sputter against hers.
“Say it, I know you want to,” she teases, so close to the edge but it’s too good of an opportunity. She loves seeing him fall apart like this and she can’t wait to see it again. “Who’s am I?”
“Daddy’s girl.”
He grinds down on her harder and faster and she’s so close, the bubble in her gut is reaching a fever pitch and with a gasp, she’s cumming and then she feels it. His load covers her stomach as he pants against her neck and grips her hips tighter as he comes down.
She wraps her arms around him and holds him as close as humanly possible, her breathing still heavy as he rises and falls on her chest. He’s heavy but she doesn’t care, she just kisses the top of his head and thanks him.
He brushes his nose against her neck, nuzzling her like a cat, “do you really mean it?”
“What, honey?” He remembers so much, this could be a question about something she said 2 months or 2 minutes ago and she has no clue.
“You’re not just playing along with my kinks right, you genuinely want to be mine?”
For being her million dollar man, his heart sure was broke. This is why he wasn’t ready, he still didn’t understand why she would want to stay without anything in return, he’s gotten so used to paying her for her time now that his anxiety has managed to convince him that she’ll leave when he stops being worth it to her.
“What does my necklace say?” She asks, knowing how close he was to it. “Read it to me, I forget.”
“Daddy’s girl,” he smiles again.
She soothes her hands over his back, “I would do anything with you because I love and trust you, but also because everything you do is sexy… you could read me the dictionary and I’d still want you to pump me full of cum after.”
“It sounds so crude after,” he laughs, “speaking of, we really need to have a shower.”
“I’ll wash your back if you wash mine?” She teases as he gets up.
“Only if you let me wash the front too?”
She smacks his bare ass and races him into the bathroom, turning on the water and getting in with him while still laughing and carrying on. He’s her best friend in the whole world, there’s no one else she would rather do this with… there was no one she has done this with. No one has made her feel this good, before during and after sex.
Spencer Reid was an anomaly, but he was hers.
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Sugar daddy fic (Some tags didn't work)
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Cruel Intentions (Steve Rogers x Reader)
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WARNINGS: NON-CON, manipulation, mentions of abuse, therapist!Steve, silverfox!Steve, drugging
! DNI IF THIS OFFENDS YOU !
➥ Image by @angrybirdcr
�� dividers by @firefly-graphics
This is for the “For the Fic” challenge whose winner for my fic was @darkficsyouneveraskedfor
The entire plot was her request and I hope that you like it!
summary: after escaping an abusive ex, you find solace in a therapist recommended to you by a friend.
~
“...I know I shouldn’t...but sometimes I blame myself. In Harry, I know that I was looking for what I never had in my family. I think it made me quick to rush into things...to ignore what I should have seen.”
Your eyes remained on the dark carpet, the man before you humming as the scribbling sound of his pen reached your ears. You fought hard not to fidget, a horrible habit you’d picked up in the last 3 years. You finally lifted your head again when the room was bathed in silence, eyes meeting familiar blue ones as he studied you.
You were used to these short moments of silence by now.
You’d been recommended to Dr. Steve Rogers by a friend, a friend who’d helped you escape your violent ex in the dead of night while he’d been away on business. She had grown worried when it became obvious that the effects of your tumultuous relationship would be lasting if you didn’t do something about it. Oddly enough, you’d been receptive. For 2 whole years, you’d wanted to tell someone, have anyone to turn to and talk to, but fear, a very valid fear, had stopped you.
Not only had you been worried for your life, something that was threatened on a constant basis, but you’d also been afraid of judgement. You worried what your friends would say, if they’d blame you for finding yourself in such a predicament, if they’d look down on you for no longer fighting back. It was only by a stroke of luck that Nakia had seen Harry slap you right across the face when he thought she’d left. You were grateful that she’d waited for him to leave before rushing towards your trembling frame, pulling you into her arms as she shushed you.
She had demanded to know how long this had been going on. She had been horrified and confused and angry. It didn’t take her long to come up with a plan, and within 2 weeks, after waiting for Harry to leave the city for 2 days, she’d gotten you out and into her place across town. You didn’t stay for long, maybe a few weeks, wanting nothing but to put it all behind you, and although she was sad to see you go, she understood.
It was how you found yourself in upstate New York, in a secluded tiny thing of a house. You hadn’t even realized that you’d become something of a recluse until Nakia had pointed it out during one of your weekly calls. It had never hit you that you went to work and to home and that was it. You barely ate anymore, so grocery shopping was never a frequent affair. That was when she’d told you about a well known therapist in the area, Steven G. Rogers. You had been shocked by how much you weren’t opposed to the idea as she went on listing all of his credentials.
It was only moments after she hung up that you found yourself researching him yourself. You remembered noting how handsome the man was, even more so in person. His bright blue eyes and silver tresses complimented his strong features nicely, pink lips pulled up into a polite smile. You didn’t find yourself put off by the stranger, thinking to yourself that talking to someone you didn’t know, an objective listener who was paid not to judge you, might be for the best.
You soon found out that was easier said than done.
The first visit had been rocky, barely mumbling a thing and constantly fidgeting. You had hardly been able to meet his eye, and the session had abruptly ended when you’d left early, stumbling over your words as you gave some half assed excuse for your sudden departure. He was far more understanding than you deserved during your second visit. Wracked with guilt and anxiety, you’d written some things down that you wanted to talk about, and thankfully, the man hadn’t laughed at you. In fact, you remembered how fondly he looked at you as you unfolded it.
As it turned out, you didn’t need the slip of paper at all. Notes forgotten, you had rambled on for an hour. It was like once you started, you just couldn’t stop, and Steve simply listened the entire time. The next time he spoke to you was only to tell you that your time was up, and both embarrassment and disappointment had flooded through you. It must have been obvious, plain as day on your features, because Steve reassured you that it was normal to ramble.
You had been reluctant to leave. After years of biting your tongue and living in fear of even making the wrong sound, you finally found someone to listen. Even if it was only a stranger getting paid for it, it was still something. There was someone to express your fears to, and although it had taken some time, terrified that you’d say the wrong thing and upset him, eventually, you started to express your anger too.
“...and then I get angry all over again,” you continued when he said nothing. “...because I’m smart, because red flags in others’ relationships have always been so obvious to me. I’ve always been the mom friend, the one who can spot trouble before it even starts. I’ve helped friends get out of situations before they even had the chance to turn sour…”
You shook your head.
“...and yet...it took a slap to the face to realize just how deep I was in? Not the jealousy, not the anger issues nor the way he’d isolated me from just about everyone in my life...but a slap? It should’ve never gotten to that.”
“You can’t blame yourself for the actions of others.”
It wasn’t the first time you’d heard that. Hell, it wasn’t even the first time he’d told you that, and yet here you were again.
“We can go in circles analyzing your own behavior and the things you did and the things you said, but the truth is that you could play it out in your head a million times. You could do every single thing differently, and it still wouldn’t change a thing.”
The corner of his lips lifted into a crooked smile, a familiar sight.
“Some people are simply cruel, and it has nothing at all to do with you.”
You sharply inhaled, unsure of why such a simple statement resonated with you so deeply. You stared at Steve, blinking a few times, opening your mouth to respond when he glanced at the clock. It was a tell tale sign, and your shoulders sagged. You would think that after seeing him for 7 months now, you’d be used to leaving after only an hour, but it never got easier.
“That’s all the time we have for today,” he said, standing. “You’re progressing nicely, Y/N.”
You rolled your eyes, and he chuckled, eyes crinkling.
“You are. Progress and healing isn’t linear. Sometimes you’re going to take 2 steps back before you can take 10 more forward. It’s all part of the process,” he assured you.
You sighed.
“Well… I guess that does make me feel a bit better,” you replied.
He sent you a small smile as he guided you towards the door.
“I’ll see you next week?”
You returned his smile with a nod and didn’t let your face fall until the door was shut behind you. The good thing about therapy was that you could recognize your own toxic behaviors now, and it was clear that you were becoming reliant on your sessions with Steve. You had never liked being alone, but you had come all the way out here to learn to do just that. For your sake, you needed to learn to love being alone. It was how you had gotten into this mess to begin with.
Your phone vibrated with a call from an unknown number, and figuring it was a scam call, you silenced it.
Your house was practically in the middle of nowhere, so when the tv wasn’t blasting or you didn’t have Spotify playing some light tune, the house could get scarily quiet. But that was what you wanted...right? Harry had always been so explosive. The smallest of things could set him off and then the sound of yelling and shattering glass would rain down on you. Silence and solitude was what you wanted, needed.
Your phone buzzed again as you settled into your car, and you huffed when you noticed it was the same number. Again, you weren’t unfamiliar with scam callers so you ignored it. You noted that you needed to go grocery shopping, but you weren’t on the precipice of starvation just yet, so it could hold off for another day. By the time you got inside, your phone had started to buzz again, and with a frown, you decided to answer it.
“Hello?”
You were met with silence as you unlocked your door, and you repeated yourself, but there was no response. With a sigh, you hung up the phone. You both loved and hated coming home. It was quiet and safe and everything you had craved for years now, but the unfamiliarity of it all unnerved you. Sometimes you were just waiting for Harry to come flying through the door, screaming and breaking things. You had to remind yourself that this silence, this security, is how it’s supposed to be.
You went about making a quick meal, hopping into the shower while leaving the stove on low. When you got out, in the process of moisturizing your arms, you noticed your phone buzzing with another call. From that same number. Unease filled you as you neared it, and you hesitantly reached for it before answering.
Again, you were met with silence, and frustrated and annoyed, you simply blocked the number. A quick look through your phone revealed that you’d missed several calls from the same number while in the bathroom. Blinking with a deepening frown, you set your phone down and made your way to your kitchen. Dinner, like always these days, was quiet. You curled up on the couch with your plate while you watched some old sitcom.
The rest of the night passed as blandly as it always did. Sleep was much easier to find these days, so you had no trouble as soon as your head hit the pillow. However, just as you were on the verge, your phone buzzed with another call. This number didn’t match the previous one, but it was unknown nonetheless. With a groan, you put your phone on silent and rolled over, sleep claiming you.
“I know it’s you,” you sneered into the phone.
Unsurprisingly, you were met with the faint sound of breathing, and you clenched your jaw. You slammed the car door behind you before stomping across the parking lot.
“I know it’s you,” you quietly repeated. “Stay away from me.”
You hung up before blocking the number, the 10th number you had blocked in the past week. Every few hours or so a day, like clockwork, you got calls from an unknown number. You’d always end up blocking the number after the first few calls, but they always called again from a different one. At first, they’d say nothing, and you’d listen to silence for a few seconds before hanging up. Now, they’d taken to breathing in your ear like a creep. It wasn’t even until you blocked the 3rd number did it finally hit you.
Harry.
Harry freaking Osborn.
You felt like such an idiot for not putting it together sooner. Of course, it was Harry. Was this not the same man who threatened to hunt you down and drag you back like some animal if you ever left him? You had always equated woman beaters to cowards so you never thought he’d have the nerve to actually do it. Putting the pieces together didn’t bring you any comfort. Your filthy rich abusive ex had managed to track you down. What comfort was there to find in that?
Since that day, you hadn’t had a proper night of sleep. Your mind was constantly at war with itself on what to do. Having been down this road before, you knew the police would be no help. You’d gone to them once before, at the very beginning after the first time he’d hit you. It was your first harsh lesson that money ruled over everything. If you thought hard enough, you could still recall his hands around your throat, eyes alight with anger at what you’d tried to pull.
Still, you considered at least trying to get a restraining order but at the end of the day, that was a mere piece of paper. If Harry came to your door, it wasn’t going to stop him from hurting you, and that’s even if the whole process went through. They don’t just give restraining orders out willy nilly. You tried not to dwell on that hypothetical situation, but if he’d found your number, it would only be a matter of time before he found your address.
“Oh!”
You’d only just entered the grocery store, barely stepping into an aisle when you bumped into someone. The chips and bread in his hands went flying to the floor, and apologies tumbled from your lips. It was only after you helped him pick up what you made him drop did you realize who you’d run into.
“Dr. Rogers...hi,” you breathed.
The corner of his lips pulled into a crooked smile, head tilting to the side as his gaze fell onto you.
“We’ve discussed this before, Y/N. You’re more than welcome to call me Steve,” he told you.
You gave a nervous chuckle, nodding.
“Yeah...uh… I normally do, it just...it just slipped my mind,” you replied.
He blinked at you, eyes narrowing just a bit as he studied you. His brows furrowed in that concerned way you were used to, a silver strand of hair kissing his forehead.
“Everything okay…?”
You folded your arms over your chest, nodding with a strained smile.
“Everything’s fine,” you lied. “It’s just… It’s been a weird week. Our next session cannot come fast enough.”
You forced a light laugh, and he joined you. He placed a hand on his hip, eyes boring into your own.
“There’s a coffee shop just over there,” he gestured. “Did you want to sit and have a chat?”
You frantically shook your head.
“Oh, no. I couldn’t,” you told him. “I-.”
“I know I’m your therapist, but I want you to think of me as a confidant outside of the office too. You’re more than welcome to talk to me anytime. In fact, I encourage it,” he interrupted.
You nervously eyed him with a frown.
“Are...are you sure?”
His smile was comforting.
“This may be my job, but it’s one I chose because it’s one I enjoy. I don’t want you to feel like you’re only allowed to talk to me during our sessions,” he quietly said.
You bit your lip, and Steve continued.
“I’d hate to think that you’re bottling things up for days on end, suffering in silence because you’re just waiting to talk to me,” he confessed.
Your shoulders sagged, and you hesitantly nodded.
“...okay. I just need to get a few things for the house.”
“Okay,” he said with a smile. “You know where to find me.”
You parted ways, and a sigh escaped you. You really didn’t want to become reliant on Steve. Wasn’t the whole point of therapy to learn how to process your feelings and cope with them better? Running to your therapist every time you have a problem just seemed counterproductive. And yet, once your car was loaded up with the few items you bought, you found yourself making your way to the coffee shop.
After ordering a small drink, you easily spotted Steve at a table in the back. You noted that even outside of your sessions, he still dressed nicely. The dark button down he wore contrasted with his light hair, dark slacks making him appear taller. You felt simultaneously nervous and comforted as you settled across from him. There was a brief silence, one in which you sipped on your drink while he eyed you before finally speaking.
“So what’s on your mind?”
What a loaded question. You struggled over whether or not to tell him the truth. Your abusive ex had found you somehow and was currently harassing you. That’s not something you could just casually drop into the conversation. Besides, Steve was your therapist, not your friend. You didn’t think it fair to rope him into the drama with your ex. That wasn’t part of his job description. Right?
“Just sleepless nights,” you said.
It wasn’t a complete lie. Steve eyed you like he was waiting for you to continue, blue eyes soft.
“I’m also worried that...my past might not remain in the past.”
Once again, this wasn’t a complete lie.
“How so?” Steve hummed.
“I can’t help but wonder about what will happen if Harry finds me. He always threatened that he would if I ever left, and while I never believed him before, I just keep wondering… What if he does?”
Steve tilted his head at you, and you leaned back in your seat with a sigh.
“I’ve moved all the way out here to get away from him. I’ve isolated myself because I thought it was for the best, but it would have the opposite effect if he ever found me. I’ve never been particularly close with my family as you well know, and I’ve left all of my friends. I’m all alone here, and it’s the worst thing to be if he ever did track me down.”
Like always, you had started to ramble, and you snapped your mouth closed, embarrassment flooding through you.
“What brought all of this on?”
Steve’s eyes were sincere as he ran them over you, handsome face twisted in concern, and you glanced away.
“Just thinking,” you lamely replied, eyes on your drink now. “It’s something I’ve always thought about, sure, but it’s been more pressing as of late.”
“Well...that’s what I’m here for. You shouldn’t have to deal with these thoughts alone,” he eventually said.
“I know,” you sighed, rubbing your temples. “...but I shouldn’t become so reliant on you. The whole point of therapy is to learn to deal with these things on my own, is it not?”
Steve exhaled, leaning back in his seat as he gazed at you.
“Not necessarily. Not always,” he answered. “...but even then, until you can get to that point, it’s best to lean into your support. After all, you’ve gotta crawl before you can walk, right?”
You nodded, taking in his words.
“...and even when you’re walking, you usually need someone there in the beginning to hold your hand in case you fall. I encourage you to talk to your friends more, maybe even branch out and find some friends here, but I’m here as well. Don’t halt any of your progress because you feel like you need to be dealing with this alone. Outside help does more for your progress than you’d think.”
“I guess that does make sense. I don’t know… I just- I’d feel so bad about showing up at your office throughout all hours of the day or calling your receptionist-.”
You cut yourself off when he took out a pen and a slip of paper.
“Here,” he said, scribbling a number on it before handing it to you. “This is my personal number.”
Your eyes widened.
“Oh, I can’t-.”
“It’s fine, trust me.”
You hesitantly returned his smile, taking the piece of paper.
“Don’t hesitate to call me anytime you want to,” he told you, standing.
You joined him, fingering the note before sliding it into your pocket.
“Thank you…Steve. I don’t know if I’ll ever actually call you, but just knowing that I have the option makes me feel so much better,” you whispered.
You heard his pager go off, and you watched as he glanced at it. He let out a sigh, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he sounded disappointed.
“I’ve got to go, but I hope you’ll use that number if you need to.”
Thanking him again, you said your goodbyes, and you watched as he exited the shop. The slip of paper felt heavy in your pocket, so you solved that by putting his number into your phone. Just as you were about to put it back into your purse, it buzzed with a call from an unknown number. Fear settled into your gut, and with a grimace, you silenced the call and blocked the number.
You were late. You were so late it was laughable to even show up at this point. Your shoes tapped against the tile as the numbers on the elevator lit up as it passed each floor. You slipped through the doors as soon as they parted, and with no mind to check in, the receptionist calling your name, you raced towards Steve’s office. You reached his door just as he opened it to step out, and the papers that he was holding scattered to the floor as you collided with him. You hadn’t even realized how fast you’d been running until you were knocked on your ass.
You could hear the heels of the receptionist as she ran over, apologizing to Steve for letting you slip past her, but he waved her off. She reluctantly returned to her desk, and you scrambled to sit up, reaching for everything that had fallen.
“I was beginning to think you’d never show,” Steve joked.
You gave a shaky laugh.
“I uh...I got caught up,” you replied through trembling lips, fingers shaking as you struggled to stack all of his paperwork.
You could feel Steve’s eyes on you, but you avoided his gaze.
“I know I’m late. Our hour is practically over, but I- I just… Um, crap.”
You had dropped the papers all over again, and you both reached for them at the same time. At least, that was what you thought. Steve’s hands covered yours, and you only just realized how badly they were shaking.
“Y/N.”
His voice was soft, exactly what you needed right now, but you couldn’t look him in the eye.
“Y/N, is everything alright?”
Your chest was tight, and you wanted to will your lips to form a yes. You wanted to tell him that everything was fine, but you couldn’t even get the words out. He called your name again, and you suddenly stood, taking the papers with you. You handed them to him as he followed your lead, still avoiding his eye.
“I’m sorry for being late, and I know that you probably have another session-.”
“I don’t,” he interrupted. “Come in.”
You glanced up from beneath your lashes as he opened the door, ushering you inside. You wrapped your arms around yourself as he shut the door behind you.
“Is everything okay?”
You turned your face away from him, unable to keep it from crumbling as you held in a sob.
“Y/N.”
The way he called your name had you freezing in place, a shiver running through you at his firm tone, authority in the one simple word. In a way, it reminded you of Harry, and you looked to him with wide eyes. Seeming to understand what he’d done, Steve sighed before sitting down, making himself appear smaller to show that he wasn’t a threat to you.
“I’m sorry,” he genuinely apologized. “I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. Please...sit.”
You hesitantly did so and reached out to take the tissue he offered you. You hadn’t even realized that you’d started crying.
“Now… I’m going to ask you again, and I’m begging you to please be honest with me. I’m here to help you in any way I can,” he whispered.
You wiped your face, sinking your teeth into your lip.
“It’s...Harry.”
Steve’s face was pinched with concern.
“What is it? Are you having nightmares again-?”
“No, you don’t understand. He’s calling me,” you confessed.
Steve froze, blinking a few times before his eyes widened, your words finally registering. You sniffed, fighting to hold in a sob.
“It started weeks ago, before we ran into each other that night…”
You didn’t miss the disappointment that flitted over his features, lips pressed together.
“...and I know I should’ve said something then-.”
“You should’ve called me.”
“I know! I know, but… I don’t know. I just wanted to handle this on my own,” you quietly said.
He didn’t respond, and you turned your eyes towards the window.
“Last time...I wasn’t able to get away on my own. I wanted it to be different this time. At first, I simply blocked him but he kept calling and calling from different numbers. Then I got a new phone...and eventually another, but it’s still the same. He keeps finding me,” you tearfully told him. “...and today…”
Your eyes met his, and you were comforted by the concern you saw there.
“Today I was at the police station. That’s why I was late.”
Steve straightened up at this.
“I thought that maybe I could get a restraining order or maybe they could trace the calls to show that it’s him, but the whole visit was useless. They boiled it down to petty relationship drama, and since there’s no record of his violent behavior because I never reported anything…”
You shrugged, scoffing.
“There’s basically nothing they can do. The whole visit was a waste,” you spat.
Steve heaved a sigh, and he slowly reached out towards you, leaning forward.
“I didn’t ask before, but… Is it alright if I hold your hand?”
You nodded. That was what you liked about Steve. He was always asking for your consent with just about everything, even the simplest of things, and it was such a nice contrast to Harry who used to feel like he was entitled to your body. Steve took your hand, throwing you a comforting smile as he eyed you, worried.
“I wish that you had called me,” he said.
You looked down, guilt filling you.
“I could have helped you before it ever got to this point. I have friends on the force, friends in high places who could lock this creep up if you wanted.”
“I feel like an idiot.”
Of course Steve, Dr. Steven Rogers, knew people who could help you. Of course he did! Your stubbornness had gotten you far deeper into this than necessary.
“What have I said about self deprecating language?”
“Sorry,” you murmured.
“You’re not an idiot. Don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re just a woman trying to find her strength again.”
You hesitantly nodded, and he brushed his thumb over the back of your hand.
“I want you to get rid of your phone,” he suggested.
You frowned, and he continued before you could question him.
“I’ll work on getting a new one for you. A secure one under my name.”
You frowned, not liking the idea of being so indebted to him.
“Steve, I don’t know-.”
“It’ll only be temporary. You can use it until I talk to some people and have him properly dealt with.”
Even though you weren’t keen on the idea, you reluctantly agreed.
“...and you have to promise me one thing…”
You eyed him, holding his gaze as you waited for him to continue.
“Promise me that you’ll call me the second he bothers you again,” he proposed.
Accepting the fact that your stubbornness was doing you more harm than good, you nodded. Steve seemed pleased with that, and with one last pat on your hand, he let you go. As he guided you out of your office, your phone in his hand, you felt more hopeful than you had in over a month. You felt so silly for not seeking out his help sooner, and you couldn’t deny the weight that had been lifted from your shoulders as you settled into your car.
True to his word, at your next session, Steve presented you with a new phone. It had all of your important contacts with Steve being at the top of the list. Embarrassment had flooded you as you thanked him with tears in your eyes. The week without your phone had been the most peace you’d had in a while, and you finally got some much needed rest.
“You haven’t heard anything from him, have you?” he’d asked you.
“No,” you answered, shaking your head. “Not a peep.”
He threw you that same smile that always brought you comfort.
“Good. Even if you never do, you’re always free to call me,” he’d reminded you.
Finally deciding to let your stubbornness go, you did. Talking to Steve outside of your sessions was easier than you thought it’d be. It was like talking to a friend. Sometimes you’d meet up at that same coffee shop not too far from his office, and other times you’d be putting a quick meal together while he was on the other line, listening to you ramble. You soon realized that it wasn’t just his profession that made him that way, but Steve truly was an unbiased listener. He never judged you for any steps back in your progress nor for any of your more self deprecating thoughts.
Best of all, you hadn’t heard anything more from Harry.
Not until he knocked on your door one night.
It was late when you’d heard the pounding on the wood, and having been watching tv in your room, you wondered if you imagined it. It was only moments later that you’d heard it again. Your eyes had widened, sitting up in alarm. No one knew you lived here. Not even your mailman. All of your mail collected at a Post Office box before you eventually went to pick it up. You stood, standing in your room, trembling in fear before a knock on your bedroom window had you screaming.
You didn’t hesitate to call the police, and it took longer than you liked for them to arrive. All the while, you dealt with knocking and pounding on your window and door. Back and forth, it alternated with minutes in between before stopping altogether when the sound of sirens could be heard. Unsurprisingly, and frustratingly, the police didn’t find anyone.
“Look, we’ll get this report down to the station,” the brunette had told you, not looking concerned in the least.
Frustration filled you, and you shuffled on your feet.
“Can’t you...idk, have someone stay here? Not even the whole night but just a few hours in case they come back?”
The tall man sighed, and you glanced at his badge. Officer Barnes, you noted.
“With all due respect mam, we can’t just have one of our officers sitting in your yard because someone knocked on your door-.”
“I told you-!”
“I know, I know. The windows too,” he said, sounding exasperated, and your frown deepened. “The best we can do is get this down to the station. You’re more than welcome to call us again should anyone come back.”
You crossed your arms over your chest as they left, finding no relief. You swallowed as you thought about Steve. You didn’t want to, but Harry had found you, tormenting you by knocking on your house in the dead of night. This was exactly the reason Steve had given you his number. Swallowing down your stubbornness, and with a deep breath, you called him.
He didn’t sound like he was asleep, and for that you were grateful. You would’ve kicked yourself if you had woken him up. Finally getting out why you’d called him was an awkward affair, stumbling over your words, and you felt even worse as he agreed to come over. There was no hesitation, and you couldn’t help but feel as if you were taking advantage of Steve’s generosity.
You mumbled out your address, surprised to realize how relieved you were. You couldn’t remember the last time you had trusted a man this much. Harry had made you so paranoid, but you supposed that was what therapy was for. This was why you had all those sessions with Steve. To learn to heal and to trust again.
You opened the door with a small smile when he finally pulled into your yard. He was dressed comfortably, and you felt much better about your own ratty t-shirt and leggings, but his casual attire made him no less striking.
“Thank you,” you breathed as he stepped inside.
“I was up going over paperwork when you called. I’m glad you did,” he told you.
You leaned against the door as you closed it, rubbing your arms.
“I didn’t know if I should. It’s just… He was here, Steve. Knocking on my door and window like something out of a horror movie, and the police treated it like it was nothing,” you complained.
Steve tilted his head at you with a sad smile.
“First thing in the morning, I’m going to make some more calls. Since he’s in town, it should be easy to have him put away. At the very least, a restraining order.”
Relief and hope filled you as you brushed past him.
“I really can’t thank you enough for coming over. I promise I won’t keep you long, just until I feel I can be ok being alone,” you said over your shoulder.
He followed you into the kitchen.
“Can I get you anything to drink? Eat? It’s the least I can do.”
“Some wine might be nice. You might want to pour yourself a glass too,” he suggested.
You chuckled, and he joined you, but you agreed with him nonetheless. You poured a glass for both of you, and you leaned against the counter with a sigh.
“I just don’t understand why he can’t leave me alone. Hasn’t he put me through enough?”
Steve hummed.
“From what you’ve told me, he strikes me as a narcissist. I’d bet that he doesn’t want you to move on,” he mused.
“Maybe,” you distractedly replied as you heard your phone ring. “I’ll be right back. Let me grab that super quick, it might be Nakia.”
Your phone was in your room, but by the time you reached it, it had stopped ringing. Sure enough, it was a missed call from your best friend, and you brought your phone with you to the kitchen, determined to call her back. Steve’s eyes were fond when you returned, and you shrugged.
“I need to call her back. I’ll only be a moment,” you said, swiping your glass.
“Take all the time you need.”
You made your way to the living room, taking your place on the couch as you called her back. She answered almost immediately.
“Hey, what’s up?”
She greeted you with a soft exhale.
“Uh… Harry’s...dead.”
You froze at her words, pulling the glass away from your lips. You blinked a few times, trying to come to terms with what she’d said.
“...what?”
“I just found out. I honestly didn’t know how you’d take the news, but I thought you should know.”
She was right. You yourself didn’t even know how you felt about this news. You had loved this man at one point...but he was also your abuser. This was good news...right?
“How?” you finally asked her.
She sighed.
“Apparently, he’d been missing for months-.”
“Months?”
“Yeah,” she quietly replied. “They found and identified his body today. I just saw it on the news.”
Your stomach twisted as the truth, and the meaning behind it, sank in. Just because Harry had been missing for months, it didn’t mean that he’d been dead for months. It very well could have been him harassing you like you believed. But...if they’d found and identified his body today, then there was no way it was him at your house tonight.
“Thank you,” you eventually said. “Um… I’m glad you told me.”
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’ll be okay,” you honestly replied. “I’m just a little unsure of how I feel about all of this, but I’ll call you tomorrow when I’ve slept on it.”
“Alright. Be safe.”
You said your goodbyes and returned to the kitchen with an empty glass.
“Everything okay?” Steve questioned.
Your face must have been an open book.
“Harry’s dead,” you scoffed, blinking as you still fought to process this.
Steve didn’t respond, and just like one of your sessions, he seemed to be waiting for you to continue.
“Apparently he’d been missing for months and they just identified his body today. There’s no way it could have been him knocking on my door tonight, and now...now I’m even more scared than I was before,” you confessed. “God, I can’t even fully come to terms with my feelings on this because I’m realizing that Harry might not have been the only thing I should’ve been afraid of.”
“Hey,” Steve soothingly said, nearing you. “Are you sure it wasn’t someone who got lost? Maybe they had the wrong house?”
You thought about it before shaking your head.
“No, it definitely didn’t seem like that. Oh my God,” you cried, letting your head fall into your hands.
Steve pulled you into his arms, startling you, but you eventually relaxed, the wine settling into your system nicely.
“It’s going to be alright-.”
“What if it isn’t? Because I’m the idiot who thought that Harry was the only possible danger out there, I’ve attracted another without even realizing it.”
“Hey, hey,” he soothed. “Maybe it was nothing, and maybe it was more. Either way, I’m only a phone call away. Say the word, and I’ll have an officer living in your yard if need be.”
You chuckled at that, and nodded.
“Thank you,” you said, looking at him. “I-.”
You swallowed your words when his lips met yours, soft and demanding as they moved against your own. You were stunned, and it took you a moment to realize just what was happening before you pulled away. You stared at Steve with wide eyes, hesitantly reaching up to touch your lips as you took a step back.
“Steve…”
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he breathed.
Your lips parted, a soft gasp escaping you at both his words and the fire in his gaze. It was so sudden and great that it froze you.
“Steve, I think… I think you should go,” you whispered, almost in disbelief.
He frowned at you, tilting his head just a tad as he folded his arms over his chest.
“Go? Why would I do that when you’re not feeling well?”
You opened your mouth to repeat yourself, even demand to know what he meant, but a sudden wave of nausea hit you, head feeling fuzzy. Steve caught you just as you stumbled, and you frowned, fighting to get out of his arms.
“What…?”
“You seemed really tense. I thought you could use something to take the edge off…”
You stared at him in disbelief, attempting to blink away the stars in your vision. Your legs felt like they were made of Jell-O as Steve guided you towards the living room. He deposited you on the couch, and you could hardly do anything as he laid you down, sitting beside you. His blue eyes, normally so soft and comforting, were dark with a longing you had never seen before.
“You were like a wounded little lamb when you first came to me,” he murmured, brushing his thumb over your lip. “So lost...broken… It’s because of me that you’re even halfway back together again.”
His hands moved to slowly undress you, taking his time, and your hands might as well had been air as you tried to stop him. You shuddered as the cool air in the house hit you, nipples pebbling, even more so when Steve brushed his fingers over them.
“I wanted to wrap you in my arms during that first session. Drag you back as you tried to leave, show you how a woman should be touched by a man.”
You were in a state of shock, disbelief coursing through you as you watched Steve undress. Even at his age, the man was a wall of muscle, thick bands making you swallow in fear as you hopelessly tried to tell yourself that this was a dream.
“Steve,” you whispered.
“I had to be patient. I didn’t want to scare you off, push you into the arms of another dangerous man. I had to help you heal before showing the kind of man I can be for you,” he told you, fingers on your face as he neared you again.
Your whole body felt weighed down, and you couldn’t stop your tears even if you wanted to. Your touch was light as you pressed your hands to his chest, feeling like you were going to be sick as he settled over you.
“Harry is gone. He can’t hurt you anymore, and I’m going to make sure no one ever hurts you again.”
The irony was not lost on you, but the way he said that struck something in you, and your mind traveled to the unthinkable. You didn’t get the chance to think about it some more before Steve was forcing himself inside of you. A choking noise escaped you as he filled you to the hilt, your legs spread wide to accommodate his frame. Steve released a shuddering breath, breathing through his nose, body trembling as he delighted in the feel of you wrapped around him.
It was amazing that while all of your senses felt dulled, you could feel his pulsing member inside of you so well. He surrounded you, bulky frame caging you in, and you felt like you would pass out from suffocation. Steve sighed just before his lips met yours, and your stomach clenched as he moved within you. A broken moan slipped out against your will, and Steve groaned at the sound.
“I’ll show you pleasure that you’ve never known, touch you in ways you never felt. I know how to make you happy,” he purred, his pace languid as he thrust in and out of you.
You turned your head away, the furniture of your living room blurring together from whatever he’d slipped into your drink.
“I know your deepest desires and your deepest fears. I know you better than anyone else out there…”
You hated that in a way, Steve was right. You’d bared yourself to him under the guise of trust and healing. He really did know all there was to know about you, and you hated yourself for it. You hated him for hiding his intentions so well, for taking advantage of your vulnerability and trauma. He tutted as you started to squirm beneath him.
“After all I’ve done for you...in all the ways I’ve helped you, the least you could do is give yourself to me. I deserve to reap the benefits of my efforts-.”
You gasped beneath him, legs kicking around him, but he only pressed himself more firmly against you.
“...I’ve gone out of my way to make sure you were safe, to protect you so that no more threats remained to you nor our relationship.”
“You’re crazy-.”
You cut yourself off with a yelp as he nipped at your neck, jerking in his hold as he continued to snap his hips into yours. His hands were gentle on you, a contrast to how he fucked you, his pace increasing with every passing minute. Despite the fact that you could hardly move, he wrapped his arms around you, holding you in place as the sound of your coupling filled the room, your core now wet and slick from his ministrations.
Steve seemed intoxicated, blissfully immersed in the feel of you and how you clung to him. His low groans and moans filled your ear, and you could do nothing as he covered your lips again, tongue tasting you, moaning at the taste of wine that still remained.
“My touch will never cause you harm, bringing you nothing but pleasure for the rest of our lives.”
~
tags: @xoxabs88xox @harryspet @readermia @opheliadawnwalker3 @nickyl316h @captainchrisstan @sebabestianstan101 @villanellevi @lokislastlove @notyourtypicalrose @coconutqueen21 @hurricanerin @hyoyeoniie @sherrybaby14 @cocoamoonmalfoy @mandiiblanche @gotnofucks @oneoftheprettynerds @doozywoozy @sapphirescrolls @threeminutesoflife @searchforanotherway @mcudarklibrary @buckybarnesplumwhore @widowsmaximoff @nerdygirl8203 @supernaturalwintersoldier @charmed-asylum @harrysthiccthighss @patzammit
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Honest and Truly
Summary: Spencer has his prom 10 years late, but none of that matters when it's with the girl of his dreams.
Word Count: 4.8 k
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female (She/Her)-- Fluff
CW: Minimal vulgar language (PG-13)
Author's Note: This just might be my most favorite thing I've written in a very long time :) Also listen to the song I linked, it makes the title and the ending make more sense! thank you to @spookydrreid and @writhingintheroses for helping me a particular scene!!
Add yourself to my taglist! It makes it much easier for me :)
Honest and Truly
“A prom?” Spencer asks, realizing that the conversation had entered uncharted territory, a territory in which he had not a single clue how to navigate. Spencer, being a preteen in high school, never attended prom.
“Yes, Reid. A prom,” Penelope says, staring at him over the many monitors and stuffed cats that littered her desk, “It’s going to be so much fun!” she says, excitedly.
“That sounds like, uh, I’ll have plans that night,” Spencer tells Penelope, spinning around in the swivel chair as he eats his turkey and cheese sandwich. He usually enjoys their lunches together, but when Penelope gets an idea in her head, there’s no stopping her.
@s“Now I don’t believe that for a second, Reid. The only time that you have plans is when you’re with Y/N. And Y/N is going to be at this prom,” Garcia says, her pink glasses sliding down her nose. She winks at Reid, almost like she enjoys watching him squirm.
“How do you know that she’s going? Did she say she’s going?” Spencer asks, unable to conceal his eagerness that Y/N could be attending. Spencer might hate dancing and those fancy shoes that are too tight on his toes, but all that can be talked away if Y/N is there.
“Yes, she’s going because you’re asking her. That and I’m making everyone go,” Penelope says matter of factly.
Spencer opens his mouth, attempting to talk away Penelope’s suggestion. But Spencer Reid is a smart man and he knows better than trying to argue his way out with Penelope. Especially when it comes to Y/N. He might have an excellent poker face, but Spencer can’t hide his love for Y/N.
“I’m not going to ask her. You know she’ll think it’s because-” Spencer says, prepping for a long winded rant before the door of Penelope’s office swings open.
Y/N, with two coffees in hand, floats into the room like she’s walking on air. Or maybe it’s Spencer’s mind that’s floating when Y/N walks in. He can never tell. Whenever he’s near her, it’s like everything is sweeter, lighter and airier. Wordlessly, she passes the coffee to Spencer. Feeling her fingertips graze his reminds him of how pathetic he must be. He nods, telling her thanks, knowing that he’s unable to fully articulate just how grateful he is for the littlest things.
“Who are you not going to ask and to where, Spence?” Y/N says, leaning against the filing cabinets and sipping her coffee. Penelope, never one to be quiet, silently watches as Spencer and Y/N converse. Spencer looks up at her, feeling that light and airy feeling again. He brushes his hair that falls against his forehead nervously thinking of an answer.
“I- uh, I was thinking of asking my mother to come stay with me for a couple of weeks. You know, she hasn’t seen DC in a couple of years. And I do have some personal days banked,” Spencer says, telling Y/N a small white lie.
“She’s in Vegas, right?” Y/N asks, interested in what Spencer is saying, which is something that he’s still not used to. Spencer nods, smiling awkwardly.
“Yeah, she says that she likes the heat,” Spencer says, hating how formal and cold the conversation sounds. It’s normally flowing with easy and familiarity, but something is wedged between them. Penelope, long forgotten by the pair, types rapidly on her keyboard.
“You know, Spence. If you’re up for it maybe we can have lunch or meet at Elmwood Park. I’d love to meet the woman that made my favorite person,” she says, staring directly into Spencer’s eyes. Her stare is so intense that it’s like she’s looking into his soul. He thinks that if she looks deep enough she’ll see her own reflection because his soul belongs to her.
“I-I uh,” Spencer says, immediately thinking that he should actually invite his mother out for a visit, “I think that’s a good idea. She likes the sites and all,” he tells her nervously, trying to ease his beating heart.
He’s her favorite person.
Out of all the people in this city, this world. He’s her favorite person. Spencer, a lover of math, is tempted to figure out the odds of being his favorite person’s favorite person. He knows it’s slim. He knows it’s rare. It’s something magical and Spencer is terrified he’s going to ruin it. He’s terrified he’s going to fuck something up that’s not even his.
“It’s a date,” Y/N says, turning to Penelope, who’s still long forgotten, “Oh, Penny, you need to yell at Morgan for me. He ate my leftovers,” she tells Penelope, who feigns horror, “And now I don’t have lunch”
“How dare he!” Penelope says, her exaggerated response inciting chuckles, “he can get away with murder because he’s pretty,” she says, shaking her head.
He knows that she’s pretending to be disappointed, but he still doesn’t like to see it. Spencer unwraps the other half of his turkey and cheese sandwich and hands it to Y/N. She looks surprised, as if Spencer just handed her a million bucks.
“Spence, you don’t have to,” Y/N says, softly, handing back the half of the sandwich, “It’s your sandwich, I don’t want you to feel-”
“Eat it, Y/N,” Spencer says firmly, looking straight at Y/N, “You need to eat something. We both live off coffee as it is,” he says, hoping that Y/N will take the sandwich.
He’s looking straight at her and she’s looking straight at him. Spencer wonders if he looks deep enough he’ll reach her soul. He dares to think that if he can find her soul, he’ll stare at his face. He’s her favorite person after all, that’s got to count for something.
“Thanks, Spence,” Y/N says, smiling softly, “You make the best sandwiches,” she tells him, taking a bite of the sandwich as Garcia’s eyes flit from Spencer to Y/N. Back and forth, she watches the pair engage in the world’s best miscommunication.
“Y/N, did you hear? I’m throwing a prom!” Garcia says excitedly, hoping that Y/N’s reaction will be more enthusiastic than Spencer’s.
“A prom?” Y/N asks, unconvincingly, “God, I hated my prom. I got punched spilled all over my dress and my date tried to sneak alcohol into the banquet hall. It was a shitshow,” Y/N says, remembering the less than happy memories from high school.
“I didn’t go to prom. You know, between being a 12 year old and a dork,” Spencer says, self deprecatingly, “It’s not the ideal scenario, but I am familiar with the cultural significance of proms in American high school,” Spencer says, speaking to no one in particular, yet looking at Y/N directly.
“Maybe we’ll both get the prom night we deserve, Spence,” Y/N offers, tossing out her wax paper wrapper. She walks past him and it’s like the air is sweeter. He believes in science, but loves magic. Y/N is magic.
“Maybe,” Spencer says, refusing to make eye contact with Penelope, “you know, sorry to uh, cut this short. I have some paperwork to finish. Hotch’s been on me all day about it. So, uh, see you later,” he says, walking out of Penelope's office like a bat out of hell.
He tries to ignore the knowing stares from Penelope and Y/N’s confusion as he ducks out and walks into the bullpen. Spencer doesn’t have paperwork. He finished all his paperwork by 11:12 am. But what Spencer does have is a flight from Vegas to Quantico to book.
And prom shopping.
___
As it turns out, Spencer doesn’t know much about teenage American culture. Sure he’s seen 90s movies that Y/N forced him to watch. But it was quite difficult to pay attention when all he could feel was Y/N’s fingers brushing up against his in their shared bucket of popcorn or her head laying against his shoulder when she got tired.
He doesn’t know much of anything when it comes to romance. But he knows that he loves Y/N— and hopefully that’s enough. He still hasn’t asked her if she’d go with him. Honestly, he’s not too sure why he even has to ask her in the first place. She’s going to be there already, but Garcia and Morgan convinced him that it’s part of the so-called “Prom Experience”
“Spence,” Y/N says, she’s perched on the tall bar stool and rests her elbows on her kitchen island, “did you find a suit yet? I was thinking that we can go to that vintage store on Rock Ave. They have a surprisingly good size selection, and I think that this whole vintage thing fits your aesthetic really well,”
“My aesthetic?” Spencer questions, again lost at sea.
“You know, you’re like nerdy chic. Equal parts dorky and equal parts handsome,” she tells him. He feels his cheeks burn at her words.
Handsome
“I don’t know if that’s a compliment or not,” Spencer says, eyeing Y/N over the rim of his hot coffee.
“It is,” Y/N says like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Like him being handsome is just as obvious as him being dorky, “And get your wallet. We’re going to the vintage store,”
Spencer has a hate-love relationship with weekends. He loves spending time with Y/N where it was so easy to pretend that she loves him as he loves her. He hates the weekends for the same reason he loves them. Spencer knows that it’s all fake. It’s a façade of the truth.
“Spence! You’d look great in this,” Y/N suggests, holding up a gray sports coat, “I think it will match your eyes perfectly,”
“If you think so, Y/N,” Spencer says, nodding his head in agreement. She continues eyeing him as if she’s imagining what he’d look like in the jacket. He has to admit, it’s a very nice jacket.
“Come on, Spence. There’s a mirror over in the corner. Try it on for me,” she requests and not even a second later Spencer finds himself being dragged by the hand to try on the suit jacket.
Y/N holds the jacket open for him as he slips it on through his arms. He’s surprised to realize that it fits perfectly. He looks into the mirror, staring at his face and Y/N, who tugs and smooths the jacket. Spencer can’t look too much longer because if he does the lines between reality and fantasy will be difficult to distinguish. As much as he wants to stare into the mirror all day long, pretending that this is real, he much rather it actually be real. But wishing and dreaming only ends up with battle wounds and broken hearts.
“You look very handsome, Spencer. Very handsome,” Y/N says, staring into the mirror too now. But she’s not looking at the jacket, she’s looking at him. The beat of silence lasts longer than what’s comfortable, “Um, I think, I saw some pants that would look good on you, with this jacket, I mean,” she says, stumbling over her words. She’s not looking in the mirror any more, her gaze is noticeably away from Spencer and the mirror.
“Okay, uh, whatever you think, Y/N,” Spencer says, “I’m not even sure why I agreed to this thing. I don’t dance,” he says, regretting his choice to go to Penelope’s prom, but feeling guilty for maybe disappointing Y/N all in one breath.
“Did you ask her yet?” Y/N asks, holding up a pair of similarly gray colored pants. She must notice his confusion, “You know Austin, the woman you heroically saved. Does any of it ring a bell, Spence?” Y/N teases. Spencer feels his cheeks burn and his heart tighten, that happens a lot around Y/N.
“Oh Austin, uh no. She wasn’t interested in me, after all,” Spencer says, shifting his weight and staring at his converse, “I mean, I should have seen it coming. It’s transference, that’s like Psych 101,” he says, feeling strange. It was odd when Austin broke up with him, even if you can consider it breaking up. He felt a strange sense of relief when it happened, like a weight was lifted off his shoulders.
Y/N clicks her tongue in annoyance as she walks over to Spencer. Tugging slightly on the sleeves of the jacket she says, “well she’s not as smart as I thought she was. You have to be a complete fool to let someone like you go,” she says quietly. She’s standing too close, looking too beautiful, and seeming too perfect for Spencer to not be completely enamoured.
Then it breaks, like shattered glass. The rosey glasses are lifted, leaving only cheeks that sting with nervousness and hearts the yearn for something a little more tangible.
“Stop staring at me and go try it on,” Y/N says, handing him the pair of pants, “Oh and I’m going to look for a vest and a tie to match. This store is unbelievable,” she tells him, pushing him into the makeshift dressing room.
Spencer puts on the pants, which fit, despite being maybe an inch or two loose in the waist. He looks into the tall mirror, which is noticeably empty without Y/N standing with him. A floating hand, belonging to Y/N appears. She holds a burgundy tie and a dark brown vest, both of which are very Spencer. He smiles slightly, strangely happy that Y/N has picked something out that’s perfect for him.
“Tell me when you’re decent,” she says, her voice muffled by the curtain that separates them. He sticks his head out of the curtain, his eyes immediately finding Y/N’s.
“Ohh, Spence, you look amazing. Very handsome,” she says, her hands clasped around the tie, tugging just like she did with his suit jacket before, “What do you think?” she asks, looking at him curiously.
“It’s nice,” Spencer offers, approaching this like he does everything: cautiously, “I do like the texture,” he says, running his hands up and down the sleeves of the jacket.
“You look more than nice, Spence. I know I’ve said it like 30 times, but you look very handsome,” she says. Spencer hopes that she means it. He needs something to be real. Sometimes besides what he feels, because what he feels is the realest thing in the world.
“It’s nice to hear,” Spencer says, “you know from someone who’s not my mother,” he jokes, shrugging off the jacket and grabbing the hanger from Y/N.
“You deserve to hear it,” Y/N says so softly Spencer wonders if she’s saying it all. That beat of silence, followed by the awkwardness is back.
“So, uh, I saw a dress that I’m going to try on,” Y/N tells him, her gaze shifting everywhere but Spencer’s eyes.
“I’ll go pay for this,” Spencer says, walking back into the dressing room and the mirror that lies to his face.
___
Back in Y/N’s car, Spencer shifts in the passenger seat trying to find a way to sit comfortably while holding his suit jacket, pants and vest. Y/N hangs up her dress, that’s wrapped in a gown bag. She wouldn’t let Spencer see the dress, despite her practically picking out his entire outfit.
“So what’s next,” Spencer asks, as Y/N gets into the car. She smiles over at him sheepishly, leading Spencer to think she’s got another trick up her sleeve.
“I’ve got a confession, Spence. And please don’t hate me for it,” Y/N says, her voice coming out a little nervous as she eyes Spencer.
“I don’t think I could ever hate you, even if I tried. And I’m certain I’ll never have to,” he says softly, resting his hand over hers on the console. He rubs the back of her hand gently, thinking about just how easy things are with her. If he could only be a little braver, maybe then the mirror wouldn’t be so empty.
“Okay. I knew that things didn’t work out with you and Austin. I overheard you telling Derek,” Y/N confesses, “And I know that it makes me a horrible friend or whatever, but I’m sorry that I eavesdropped,”
“Oh, uh how much did you hear?” Spencer asks, suddenly quite nervous. He can feel his heart drop, waiting for the moment when Y/N laughs at the thought of her loving him. He knows that it’s not fair to her, but then again all is fair is love and war.
“Enough to know that you’re still hung up or or someone else. I left once my conscience got the better of me. Once a Girl Scout, always a Girl Scout,” she says, making the three finger salute that’s common in scouting, “I just wanted to hear it from you, you know you’re my favorite person and all,” she says, a frown forming.
“I think, uh,” Spencer says, “That I was just a little embarrassed. You know how Derek and Penelope and Emily and JJ can get. It’s basically just you and Hotch who aren’t jumping down my throat about being, you know, alone,” he says, chuckling awkwardly.
“They just want to help you, Spence. In their own ways, but I’m always on Team Spencer. You never got to worry about that,” Y/N offers, squeezing his hand.
He considers what she says, not responding verbally, but nodding his head. He hasn’t ever had someone on his “team”, so it’s strange. But a good kind of strange.
“Spence, you okay? I wanted to give you something. To be truthful, I’ve been thinking about how I was going to do this for awhile,”
“Ask me what?” he questions, wondering what she has in store. He watches as Y/N rummages in his bag, clearly looking for something. He’s thoroughly confused when she pulls out a TI-84.
“What on earth?” Spencer says, as she places the calculator in his hands. Her sly grin, beaming up at him only further proves his point: his heart just beats faster around her.
“Just shut and press the on button. You’d think that a genius would know how to work a calculator,” she comments, rolling her eyes playfully.
“You know, I never used these. I can just do it in my head faster,” Spencer says, winking at Y/N when she pushes him teasingly.
“God, Spencer just turn it on!” she demands, very apparently getting more and more impatient.
He turns the calculator on and is brought to a green screen that has a picture of a graph. Spencer raises his eyebrow, as if to ask Y/N for the next direction.
“Press the graph button,” she says, getting quieter as Spencer looks at her.
He presses the button that she said to, waiting for whatever is supposed to happen. Spencer watches as the screen draws four black lines running parallel to each other. A curved line is drawn on the first two black lines, forming the letters “P” and “R”. The screen continues to draw, making an oval that looks like an “O” and the last two parallel lines are joined together with a “v” shape, forming the letter “M”. He takes a second glance, reading the 4 letter word slowly.
P-R-O-M
“Well?” she asks, waiting for his answer.
He’s speechless. Spencer blinks. It’s like his brain has stopped working. It’s a prom, a stupid prom that’s 10 years too late. But it’s the girl of dreams that’s asking him. And that’s the stuff those rom-coms he couldn’t pay attention to are made of.
“I mean, of course. Of course, Y/N,” Spencer says, dropping the calculator into the cup holder and leaning in to hug Y/N.
His heart stops again. Falling into that tricky habit of either speeding up or stopping when she’s around. He thinks he’s ready to implode when she pecks his cheek. Her lips don’t linger, hardly touching his skin for it to be considered a kiss.
“I don’t think I’d want to go with anyone else,” she says, mumbling into his skin. She seals his fate with her lips against his skin. Never again will Spencer imagine what it’s like to have her lips against his skin. Even though it’s a fraction of the time he’d want, it’s tattooed in his mind.
“I’m not much of a dancer, by the way,” Spencer says, reluctantly letting go and sitting back into the passenger’s seat, “so don’t expect too much,” he jokes.
“Oh you better watch it, Doctor Reid. I’m getting you on the dance floor, even if you hate it,” Y/N says, smiling as she backs out of the parking spot and turns into the street.
Spencer looks out the window, thinking to himself that there’s probably nothing he can hate if he’s doing it with Y/N.
--
Spencer didn’t go to prom in high school. He didn’t do a lot of the traditional things that most former high schoolers reminisce about at his age. He didn’t go to football games or have a best friend to make lifelong memories with.
He didn’t have any of that, until now.
But it’s prom night, 10 years late. His hands are sweaty and his mouth feels dry. Spencer wasn’t this nervous for even his first day at the BAU all those years ago. He tries to fix the burgundy tie that Y/N picked out at the vintage store. It looks crooked and twisted. Nothing like when Y/N tied perfectly in the store for him. He supposes that he can wait till she comes to pick him up.
The mirror, again, is noticeably empty without Y/N standing beside him. He can get lost in there, thinking about her standing with him. He does, because it feels like seconds later when he hears a rapid knocking on his apartment door.
Standing on the other side of the door is Y/N. She wears a sage green dress that looks like it’s made of softest silk. He smiles at her, not sure if he can trust his words. Spencer doesn’t think he’ll be able to do much thinking when all he can focus on is the tiny straps that rest on her shoulders or how the sage green compliments her skin tone.
“You look, god. You’re beautiful,” Spencer says, partly under his breath partly aloud to Y/N, “so beautiful,” he says again, focusing on her eyes.
“And you’re looking very dashing in that suit, Spence,” she says, pushing her way in, “do you need help with your tie?” she asks, looking at the tie he holds in his hand.
“Yes, please,” he says sheepishly. He holds out the burgundy colored tie, but takes his hand back as an idea crosses his mind, “oh wait here, I’ll be right back,” Spencer says, walking quickly to his bedroom.
“Alright,” Y/N says sceptically, “Don’t ditch me, Reid!” she calls out from the living room.
Spencer returns, hiding the new tie behind his back. He places an olive green tie with dusty blue and pink flowers in her hands. He notices her smile grow, realizing that he’s picking a new tie for a reason.
“I might not know much about prom, but I think that we’re supposed to match. You know, since we’re going together,” he offers, “but I need help putting it on,” he says.
“We’re going to match!” Y/N says excitedly. As she unbuttons the first button on Spencer’s cream colored shirt he holds his breath. He can’t breathe when she’s this close. Her fingers are quick and nimble as they feed the tie around his neck and elegantly create a knot. If Spencer wasn’t already in love, he knows that watching her eyes twinkle and her tongue poke out as she concentrates would make him declare it then and there.
“So handsome,” she says, using that quiet voice that makes it seem like she’s talking to herself rather than him, “I can’t wait to dance with you,” she tells him tugging the tie.
“I’m not going to be good, Y/N. I’m going to be a fool,” Spencer says, lamenting already about what an idiot he’s going to look like in front of Y/N.
“That’s nonsense, Spence,” Y/N says, waving him away with a toss of her hand, “You’re going to be the best dancer there,” she tells him rubbing her hand up and down his arm, like she did at the store.
“Would you believe it, if I told you I never danced with anyone?” Spencer says, being the most honest and true he’s ever been.
“We can change that,” Y/N says, stepping towards Spencer and linking her hand in his. She squeezes, restarting and stopping his heart all in one go, “oh wait we need music,” she says, feeling around for where her phone usually is.
“I got it,” Spencer says, stepping away from Y/N. He walks over to the small record player in the corner of his living room. He doesn’t play it too often, the records he has were once his mother’s and they’re too painful to play most days. But Spencer’s sure that he can make every exception to all his rules for Y/N. Maybe he’ll get some happy memories out of it.
“Going old school I see,” Y/N says, teasingly as Spencer walks over grabbing both his hands in hers, “everything about you is very charming, Doctor Reid,” she says, softly swaying to the jazzy tunes of Sarah Vaughan.
“I’m not too sure about that,” Spencer says, following Y/N’s lead as she floats around his living room, carrying him everywhere she goes. She rests her head against his chest and Spencer swears that she’s going to get a concussion from how hard his heart beats.
They’re alone, no audience to witness the moment that Spencer wonders if he can dare to call intimate. It’s intimate to him because every moment with Y/N is intimate. Maybe if someone had told Spencer that dancing like this could bring pure paradise all the way from your fingertips to your eyelashes, maybe he would have done it sooner.
“You’re quite the romantic, Spencer,” Y/N says as the song comes to a close. The record player stops, but they don’t stop swaying, “And you told me you couldn’t dance,” she scoffs lightly, with her head still resting against his chest.
“Is that okay with you?” He asks, “me being romantic,”
“I don’t think that I’d want it any other way, Spencer,” Y/N says, removing her head from his chest and her hand from his. She cups his face, touching him lightly. Y/N holds him like he aches to be held. It’s gentle and tender, yet leaves him desiring more.
“Honest?” Spencer asks, daring to be brave.
“Truly,” she responds.
Spencer shifted slightly, so he can also hold her face in his hands. Y/N drops her hands though, wrapping them around Spencer’s waist to pull them closer together. Spencer’s phantom fingers are like that dance around that dance around Y/N’s skin.
It’s Y/N that initiates the kiss. She moves in slowly and tenuously, looking just as nervous as Spencer is. He’s shaky slightly, the anticipation getting to his head when all he can see is Y/N’s eyes looking into his and all he can think about is how soft her skin is. It’s all he’s ever wanted to think about. Her lips are soft and pillowy.
But it’s more than that.
Kissing her is everything to Spencer. It’s the breathy sighs she lets out as he moves his hands and rests them securely behind her neck. It’s the peachy scent of her perfume that’s so sweet and strong it should be overwhelming when all it is, is intoxicating. Kissing her is dizzying and terrifying, but wonderful and sweet. He can’t tell where his lips start and where her’s end, but it doesn’t matter.
He doesn’t open his eyes because he knows he’s facing the mirror. But unlike before, he doesn’t need a mirror to know what he’s looking at. He can look into his soul for that.
“Very romantic,” Y/N says, smiling through the quick kisses she plants on his jawline, “I always thought you’d be a romantic,” he tells him.
Spencer brushes his thumb over Y/N’s bottom lip. It’s puffy and bitten from his kisses, but he thinks that it would be a shame to not bite and kiss it some more. He smiles so hard he knows that he’ll wake up in the morning and his mouth will hurt. But that’s the least of his worries if Y/N’s there to kiss it better.
“Honest?” Spencer says, calling back to the song, that’s now their song.
“Truly,”
---
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What is your favourite quote for each Team Rocket character?
Good question. This took me a hot minute but was really fun to think about.
Jessie - “Thank badness we’re alive!!!” I actually don’t remember which episode this is from, I tried to google it, but I specifically remember it because I used to quote it all the time. I just thought the idea that villains would actually say “thank badness” was hilarious.
James - Zero is a gross exaggeration, we are at least two to three percent worthwhile! (Talkin’ Bout an Evolution) James has like a million great quotes but I always loved this one. You have to appreciate his candid self-awareness 😂 A lot of my favorite Jessie and James moments are where they happily admit they are failures but remain totally undeterred. Also - literally ANYTHING he says in the Flaming Moltres episode 😂
Meowth - “Maybe if we started lookin at what’s the same instead of what’s different…well, who knows?” This is part of his little monologue in the first movie when he’s talking to the clone Meowth, I always loved this quote. I mean, what a great sentiment, delivered in a touching way that only Meowth could do.
Cassidy - “Oh I’m still shaking like a leaf officer thank goodness you were here to stop them before they hurt the Pokémon ~ oh!” (The Breeding Center Secret) Butch and Cassidy have a lot of great quotes, especially from chronicles where they started getting played for laughs, but I really love this one because it highlights Cassidy’s ability to turn on and off this fake persona she’s created totally effortlessly. The delivery of this line is just 10/10. No other episode has really showcased her ability to do that as well as their first appearance, but I always loved that about her. She deserves an award for that performance lmao 😂😂
Butch - “I am, but I like dry socks.” (Showdown at the Oak Corral) I’m sorry, there are also a lot of better Butch quotes than this but I have to pick this one because it made me laugh like no other. The man likes dry socks, ok? 😂 Also I think I just like it because it’s a little glimpse into Butch as a person, he seems like he can be a little particular about stuff.
Domino - “I’m like a totally off the hook fan of yours! I wanna be just like you when I get old!” (Mewtwo Returns) Domino, like Cassidy, has the ability to adopt a fake persona and do a REALLY good job at pretending she’s somebody she’s not. I love her ditzy voice she uses when she’s undercover, but this quote in particular because even when she’s trying to be cute and sweet, this was a pretty backhanded compliment to throw at that doctor. (I forget her name, but she wasn’t even old 😂) It was pretty funny.
Wendy - “Revenge is sweet, my dear Jessie.” (Dues and Don’ts) I mean, you have to love a good long grudge. The fact that Team Rocket even has an HR department is hilarious on its own, but the fact that it seems to be led by a woman who held onto a personal vendetta against a fellow employee for YEARS, all because of a fruit smoothie, is even better.
Attila - “I used to collect them, they’re very sweet creatures.” (Legend of Thunder) I’m pretty sure this is a dub only fact about Attila, but I absolutely love the way they dubbed Attila and the idea of someone like him with a soft spot for Caterpie is just…I love it 😂 Seriously though Attila has a whole score of cheesy dialogue, and I love almost every single thing he says. Yippie Yi Yay 😂
Hun- “You don’t get to run the world by being fair; you get to run the world by being nasty!” (Legend of Thunder) Hun…who hurt you? 😂😂😂 Do you need a hug? This was tough because there are multiple times in LoT that Hun has to try and keep Attila on task, which I love, but I picked this quote as my fav because I like that little glimpse into Hun’s sinister personal ideals.
Tyson - “You look a little…tied up! BAHAHAHAHAJSJFGSHKJAFLSNWSA” (Talkin Bout an Evolution) I’m sorry, I love bad puns, and that exaggerated laugh he does at the end, I love it so much 😂😂😂 There are lots of bad puns in the Pokémon anime, but this one…it’s the laughing at his own joke for me 🤣 And the fact that none of the grunts with him are laughing at all, dub or original. You can tell this is a frequent occurrence and they’re just over it. 😂😂😂
Pierce - “Then we’ll just have to see how good you are. *laugh*” - this might seem like a weird quote, but I picked it solely because of that little laugh he does at the end. Pierce unfortunately didn’t get that much screen time, so he’s not super quotable :( Which is a shame because he really, REALLY has a nice voice. It might actually be my second or third favorite, behind Sebastian and *maybe* Attila (only because I think it suits him so well)
Professor Namba - (singing) “Rage, rage, bring out your raaaaage!” (One of the Lugia episodes, I forget which one) 11/10 beautiful vocals, clearly should have been a singer and not a scientist. Seriously though the fact that Namba can be in the midst of such a cruel experiment and stand there and sing a song about it really highlights his insanity and I love it.
Dr Zager - “CURSES!!” (I forget the episode title, I’m so sorry) Again, someone who sadly didn’t get that much screen time, BUT we do at least have this quote. He’s overall a pretty serious character and doesn’t have any especially memorable lines…except this one. 😂 I love it. Very old-fashioned villain, Old Man Yells At Cloud energy here 😂😂😂
Professor Sebastian - “If you’ll kindly follow me, I believe you’ll find this…electrifying.” (Legend of Thunder) this is REALLY hard because I love everything he says, but once again my appreciation for bad puns wins out in the end. Also the confirmation that Sebastian does have a sense of humor, however bad, makes me very happy. 😂 Would watch an entire episode of Sebastian and Tyson making terrible puns. No, actually, an entire feature length film.
Giovanni - “I haven’t had any repairs done to those old blimps for decades. They’re completely unfit to fly. About the only thing I have maintained on those blimps are their insurance policies.” (A Scare in the Air) this is not only my favorite Gio quote but one of my favorite moments in the entire anime because it’s so dark. I even posted about it recently. Giovanni actually tries to have three of his employees killed and profit off of their deaths via insurance fraud. AND HE DOES IT IN SUCH A CAVALIER WAY YOU KNOW IT’S NOT HIS FIRST TIME DOING IT. Also you really have to just appreciate the confirmation that insurance - an evil greater than Team Rocket- exists in the Pokémon world.
(I’m sorry if some of these quotes are not exact word for word, I tried to google to confirm I’m remembering it correctly, but it’s not as easy to find some of these as you might think 😂)
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here it is! the first part of UTCM!
wc: 4.8k
taglist | story masterlist
͙⁺˚*・༓☾ ☽༓・*˚⁺‧
With clothes flying across the room, trying to make each article of clothing land in the target of a rectangle, you rummage through your closet, trying to find the specific piece of your most treasured clothing.
One that meant something special to you.
As you dig through your drawer, trying to find the thick, vintage tee your dad had given you (more like you stole it and never gave it back), your hand finally feels the familiar material that has brought you comfort and lots of compliments if you do say so yourself.
With a proud ‘bingo’ escaping your lips, you’re not surprised that it’s the only shirt you folded and gently put into your suitcase. You looked around your room, finding the hurricane of clothing sprawled out on the floor and your bikini top on your lap shade. Laughing a bit, you drop to your knees and begin to pick up your clothes, stuffing it into the suitcase.
You check the time and see that it’s five minutes to 9 AM and your phone rings on your bedside table, knowing you’re behind schedule. You quickly grab your phone, placing it between your shoulder and your ear, and continue grabbing your clothes.
“Yellow?”
“Honey, quit answering the phone like that.” You take the phone from your shoulder and put it at arms reach before sighing, knowing you should’ve looked at the caller ID.
“Hello, mother. How are you on this fine morning?” Your voice changes from playful to proper tone only to tease her.
“Oh, quit it. I was just calling to see if you were all packed and ready.”
“Yup!” You say confidently, looking around your room as it says otherwise. Obviously, packing wasn’t your greatest talent.
It was your best friend’s parent’s anniversary. Minny has informed you a month ago, knowing that you would procrastinate on packing, and to be fair, she was right. Packing wasn’t your favorite, and she knew that. Aww, my best friend knows me so well.
You and Minny have been best friends since you were 7. You two met at school and were in the same class. Because of the two’s last names being right next to each other on the roll call, you were assigned to sit right next to her. Throughout the years in school, you had always remained close. Sure, you two have met other people and became friends with them, but nothing came as close as the bond you have with her.
It was 20 years of eating at lunch together, never missing a day. Sleepovers. Day and night calls to gossip or vent. Laughs. Petty arguments. Crying over stupid boys and girls that broke your heart. Monthly ‘glo the fuck up’ day. Jogging in the park. Living life. And most importantly, love.
Damn, we’re getting old.
“I’m sad I can’t make it to Dan and Lina’s anniversary trip.” Your mother sighed over the phone.
Yours and Minny’s family had practically become one big family when you both turned 10. With occasional sleepovers and meet ups at the mall, your parents had become really great friends with hers.
“I know, Mom. But you practically see them everyday, so it’s fine. They understand why.” You try reasoning out with her.
“I hope so.” She sighs sadly on the phone, and it makes your heart hurt.
“They do understand. Trust me.”
“I wish you were here-” She immediately cuts off.
“Mom, I can go with you. I don’t have to go on Dan and Lina’s trip. Let me call Minny so I can tell her to not come by.”
“No, no!” You pause. “Please, don’t miss out on having fun for me. I want you to have fun. You deserve it.” You nod, even though she can’t see you. You check the time, and know you’re running out of time to finish packing.
“You deserve it too, Mom.” She doesn’t say anything, but you know she’s smiling on the other side of the call.
“Hey, Mom. I gotta go. Minny is almost here to pick me up, so I just wanna double check everything.”
“Of course, honey. I’ll call Lina later. Say hi to Minny for me. I love you.”
“Will do. I love you too.” The door knocks once you hang up the call. Curses scolding yourself for being so lazy and procrastinating fly from your lips as you get the door.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” The last person you were expecting was seeing your ex boyfriend on your doorstep with keys in his hand. He wore rust color corduroy pants, a stripe shirt, and a turquoise jacket that’s stitched on the side. His hair was pushed back by his black sunglasses and he was wearing his pearl necklace. You hate to admit that he looks good and can possibly rock anything he wore, and you despised him for that along with other reasons.
“Wow. No, hi or how are you Harry? I’m doing great, thanks for asking.” He says sarcastically and you roll your eyes, walking back to your room to finish packing. “Well, I see you’re still not that great with organizing your time, or your clothes.” You don’t say anything because you really don’t want to speak to him at the moment, or at all. “I’m assuming Minny didn’t tell you.” Your eyes perk up into confusion.
“Minny didn’t tell me what?” You ask, continuing to fold the last pair of clothes.
“She asked me to pick you up. You know, to take you to the lake house.” If it were possible, steam was coming out of your ears. Why hadn’t Minny told you? You huff loudly for Harry to know that you’re clearly annoyed before grabbing your phone and immediately dialing Minny’s number, and waiting for her to pick up.
Harry looks around your room, seeing as things haven't changed with you, and you want to kick him out as soon as you're done talking to Minny.
“Hey, girl! Are you on your way?” Her voice is high and she clearly is not prepared for what you’re about to give her.
“How can you have Harry pick me up? And why didn’t you tell me that you couldn’t pick me up?”
“Clearly, you’re the best at greeting people anymore.” Harry says, leaning against the door frame as he wears a smirk, and you immediately flick him off. He puts his hand on his chest with an exaggerated jaw drop, pretending to be offended.
“I’m so sorry. I meant to tell you, I promise. But my dumbass of a brother decided to come last minute because his plans got cancelled, and so we were all rushing out the door and putting everything in the car.” You hear Minny’s brother, Jackson, say ‘hey!’ and you sigh.
“It’s okay, I understand.” Not wanting to be annoyed anymore, you brush it off.
“I can find someone else to pick me up, no worries.” Harry raises his hands up as if he’s saying ‘I’m literally here to pick you up.’
“No! Just take the ride from Harry. After all, he is staying at the house too.” Your eyes widen.
“What?! Why would you invite him?”
“You know, you’re doing a lot of talking like I’m not here in the room right now.” You mouth ‘shut up’ to him.
“Please, just go with him. We’re almost there anyways and I don’t want you guys to be late because you want to be difficult. Just ride with him. It’s only like a 3 hour drive and you can sleep on the way, and then not talk to him for the rest of the trip.” She persuades.
Minny was always good at persuading people. In college, both of you were commuting from home and didn’t stay at the dorms, so you didn’t know that many people, especially not in the frat or sorority houses. She had convinced her parents that they needed a weekend to get out of the house and take a nice getaway trip, laying out the pros and cons so she can throw a party. And they really thought her pros outweigh the cons.
“Ugh! Okay, fine.”
“Thank you! Love you! Bye!” She gets off the phone quickly, and you turn to Harry.
“Shall we get on the road?” He smiles. You were finally finished with packing and rolled your luggage to the front, ignoring him. He comes out of your room with your bikini top in his hand, and your eyes widen, forgetting to take it from the lampshade. “Think you forgot this.” He holds it up and you snatch it quickly. And you’re both out the door and possibly going on the worst trip.
Two weeks and I’ll be home.
͙⁺˚*・༓☾ ☽༓・*˚⁺‧
Two hours down. One more to go.
The entirety of the car ride had been filled with awkwardness and silence. If music hadn’t been playing, you were sure you were going to explode. Harry had asked you if you were alright about a million times or if you were too hot or cold. You kept your responses to a minimum, replying with ‘yeah, I’m good’ or ‘I’m okay’. Harry was gripping the steering wheel so tight, that he was sure his hand would cramp up when he tried to unlatch. The tension and awkwardness was getting to him. He hated that things had ended up like this between the two of you, but he was willing to change that. He wants to change that.
“R. E. D.” He says suddenly after minutes of not talking, and just listening to the sound of the music and the engine of the car.
“Pardon?” You turn to face him.
“C’mon, you don’t remember the game we used to play when we would go on road trips?” He asks hopefully, looking at you quickly before turning his head back on the road.
Of course you remember. Hours on the road with him, going to the next destination when he was on tour or outside of the city to get away from everything, led you both to play road trip games that included saying 3 random letters and finding it on a license plate. It’s what made traveling fun and the hours on the road much more interesting. Especially with Harry.
“Yeah, I remember.” You say softly, not showing emotion.
“Okay, well, start looking.”
“You weren’t very good at this game.” You say, but quickly close your mouth, not realizing that you’re thinking out loud.
And Harry’s surprised. He knows that your comment was a teasing one, and he was worried that he would t get a single sentence out of your mouth without you yelling in his face. “I’m very good at this game!”
“I mean, considering that my board was filled with tallies, then I would think you’re bad at it.” You let out a chuckle and Harry has a big smile on his face, thinking it’ll hurt his cheeks later on.
“You literally gave me impossible letters to work with!”
“They’re license plates, not people’s names!” You tease.
“Just look for R.E.D!” He ends the conversation. Although he didn’t want to, he knew that you’re most likely going to blow up in his face if you two acted like a happy couple again. He knew that you would overthink about the bad things overlapping the good, and you would go back to resenting him.
And he was right.
After he ended the conversation, you were thinking about what could’ve been between you; what could still be if he weren’t an asshole. The laughs and teasing you two had just a minute ago were replaced with deep breaths, not knowing if one of you should say a thing again.
There were only a few cars on the same road for you; going to different places. You wondered if people going on a road trip had the same situation with you and Harry: the sharp tension that can be cut like a knife or wanting to jump out of the car.
You must have blanked out for a while because Harry had gotten off the highway and onto a secluded street that leads to the lake house.
The drive through the woods with high boulders and tall trees had you speechless. You got as close to the window as possible, looking up like you’ve just seen a shooting star. Nature has always been such a fascination to you. You’ve always loved camping trips and hiking; so much that you’re currently an environmental scientist.
You don’t notice with your head practically sticking out the window, but Harry is having such a hard time keeping his eyes on the road. He thinks that it’s admirable how passionate you are, especially about nature and animals because it’s rare that people end up doing what they love. And he loves seeing you so passionate about what you love.
The drive surrounded by the forest didn’t take long; about 20 minutes, and Harry had already pulled up into the gravel driveway in front of the lake house.
The famous lake house that Lina and Dan have owned for 30 years; ever since they got married. It was a rather large lake house; able to fit two families of four. With brown wood hammered onto the sides and evergreen border along the windows, the house was generally very comfortable and homey. They had kept renovating throughout the years to keep up with the times changing, and they’re loving how modern it looks as of now, but very welcoming at the same time.
“Well, we’re finally here.” Harry says, cutting off the ignition and getting out of the car. You do the same as well and meet him where the truck is popped open, Harry grabbing his bags. You went to reach for it, but Harry slaps your hand away.
“Hey!”
“Don’t worry about the bags. I got them.”
“Thanks.” You give him a soft smile.
“And besides, you’ve packed for like a month when we’re gonna be here for two weeks, and you were barely able to carry it out of your house.” He teases.
“For a matter of fact, I happen to be very strong.” You cross your arms.
“Okay, whatever you say, Captain.” The pet name slipped out. When you and Harry were together, he started calling you Captain because sometimes you can be so aggressive and demanding, but passionate, that it felt like you were the Captain of the ship, which technically you were. You were always in charge, always right, and always planning everything. Captain just stuck, and he thought it was so perfect for you.
The pet name had definitely startled you. You haven’t heard that name come from his lips in forever. And admittingly, you missed it. But you don’t tell him that, of course.
Harry notices your shock and just smiles instead of pushing it. He instead walks towards the car once his hands are full.
“Hey, Harry?” He could’ve sworn that his head got jumbled up at your call for him because of how fast he turned around.
“Yes?”
“R.E.D.” You pointed towards Minny’s car with a smirk on your face. Harry looks at her license plate and his jaw drops, but you see the corners of his lips turn up.
“How did you-”
“You think I don’t know my best friend’s license plate when she’s had this car for 4 years?” Your smile is amusing and Harry has missed this side from you.
“Well done.” He drops the bags and starts clapping.
“Make sure to mark my tally.” You walk past him and towards the house. Harry turns around, watching you walk. Specifically landing his eyes on your hips and watching them sway like you own the fucking world. It’s endearing and he loves it. He loves how sometimes you can walk the whole universe and own it, but he always loves how you shy away from things and look for reassurance. He loves it.
You don’t turn around because with the smile and hint of blush that crept onto your face, it’s bound to be a disaster if he sees it.
“Aye, aye, Captain.” He chuckles before picking up the bags and following your footsteps.
͙⁺˚*・༓☾ ☽༓・*˚⁺‧
The inside of the house was opposite of what it looked like from the outside. While the outside was rustic and dark looking, the inside was light and provided very much needed natural lighting due to the big window that overlooks the lake. Sun shines bright through the window and into the house that it almost hurts to look out, but that’s Mother Nature at her finest.
You head up to your usual bedroom that you claimed when you were younger, having taken trips to this house for so many years that your feet just subconsciously took you to your room.
It remained the same: big window that led to a small balcony, wooden frame bed, and a mattress that is the perfect size and comfort for you. The walls were white, and with the light coming through, it made the room look even bigger.
Usually you and Minny would sleep in the same room, but there were enough rooms so you two can have your own. But there were some nights where you would spend the night with her, and her, you.
You hadn’t noticed Harry following you to your room, but when you hear bags drop onto the floor, you jump and turn around. “You scared me.”
“Sorry, didn’t mean to. Thought you heard me following you.”
“No, I didn’t. I was just distracted with my thoughts.”
Harry leans against the door frame and crosses his arms. “What about?” He asks curiously.
“Just… haven’t been here in a while, and I miss it.” He only nods, and it quickly goes back to silence. “Thank you for bringing my bags up.” This time, he smiles.
“Not a problem. Let me know if you need anything else, Captain.” You chuckle.
“Will do.” He leaves your room and shuts the door close, knowing you’d probably want to settle in and change into more lounge clothing.
You sit on your bed, facing the window, and look out at the lake. You don’t know what you’re feeling. Before you saw him today, you would just get mad that you’re thinking about him, but that car ride broke every anger that clung onto your body. It was like your mind naturally reacted to Harry in a way that you couldn’t control. You can control anything else, but not with Harry. You naturally felt a pull towards him, and no matter how much you wanted to cut off the string you couldn’t.
You had definitely missed the feeling of being around him, and that makes you angry. Angry at yourself because he hurt you.
You try not to cry with the thoughts swirling in your head. You take in the beautiful view from your bedroom and tell yourself that you shouldn’t be sad because you’ve got a long trip ahead of you.
As you changed into your lounge clothes, you headed downstairs to greet the family that was just back from the backyard.
“Oh, sweetheart! I’m so happy you’re here!” Lina greets you with a warm hug. Dan does the same, giving you a bear hug.
“Happy anniversary! How are you guys?” You ask the married couple.
“We’re doing great! I’m excited this time has come again! We’ve got so much planned.” You smile at their excitement. They turned to look at each other and you can’t help but admire their love for one another, even after all these years.
Yours and Minny’s parents’ love was like no other. You were pretty blessed to grow up around healthy relationships, and can’t help but feel so fond of the love they have for each other and wanting it for yourself.
“The kids are still outside.” Lina kisses your cheek and Dan pats your shoulder before they head to the kitchen.
You walk through the glass slide door that leads to the stunning view of the water that the sun reflects onto. You take a deep inhale in, breathing in the world’s scent. The outside is such a beauty that some people take it for granted.
“Ahh!” The famous screams come from no other than Minny. “You’re here!” She runs to you and you engulf her into a big and hard hitting hug. Jackson also hugs you and runs his hand on top of your head, messing up your hair.
“Dickhead!” You slap his chest.
“How are you, other little sister?”
“Oh, you know, here.” You say, not knowing what to say, so ‘here’ is usually your backup for not really wanting to say how you feel.
Minny rolls her eyes, knowing you all too well for your liking. “How was the drive?”
“It was…interesting.”
“Well, that’s my cue to go.” Jackson walks back to the house, and leaves Minny and I to talk.
“Was it that bad?” Minny asks worriedly.
“No, it wasn’t bad. It was just awkward and there was tension between us. But then we started playing our famous road trip game and I started teasing him, and ugh! I smiled and laughed a little and I hated it.” You huffed and looked down.
“What, why?”
“I-I don’t know. I just… I was expecting to have the worst trip when he showed up at my doorstep, but my mind is taking over.”
“Your mind or your heart?” Minny tests. You don’t reply. You just look at her, not knowing if she genuinely wanted a response or she was just testing you.
“Why did you invite him?” You ask at the wrong time because you don’t hear the sliding door open, revealing Harry.
“Hey, Minny.” He smiles softly at her and steps out of the house to hug her. Your breath was hitched in your throat, feeling guilty about your question because you didn’t hear him.
“Hey, Harry.” She smiles back and hugs him. Once they let go of their embrace, Harry turns to you.
“If you don’t want me here so bad, then the Captain shall be obeyed.” He teases, but you know that he’s more hurt than what he puts on. He puts on a brave face, but really you see it in his eyes that he’s hurt. You know that your question had hurt him and it was just the wrong timing to ask that.
“I didn’t mean it like that…”
“Didn’t you?” His head turns slightly, knowing he’s trying to keep his annoyance intact. His voice is different and sarcastic. Minny senses the shift of tension, so she breaks it.
“I invited him because he’s been my friend as long as you have, so he’s practically family too. He’s been to every trip as well, and besides, my parents love him.” She places her arm on Harry’s shoulder, and you can’t help but feel like they’re teaming up against you. Harry walks ahead of us and goes inside while you and Minny trail behind him. You know you shouldn’t think of it like that because they’re not, but you feel like such a downer once you found out that Harry was tagging along. “Let’s go in and eat lunch!” Minny changes the subject, feeling like that’s what they really needed. “By the way, which letters did he ask for?” Minny asks.
“R.E.D,” you smile amusingly and roll your eyes, giving your best friend the ‘I know right?’ look. She laughs loudly, throwing her head back and clutching her stomach.
“Well that was an easy win for you.” She says and you nod, before putting an arm around your shoulder, walking inside the house for lunch.
Lina had prepared salad, homemade garlic bread, Brussel sprouts, and mashed potatoes. Dan had cooked his famous ribs, one that was his specialty ever since he was a young adult. They didn’t want to cook right when they got to the house, so they prepared it beforehand and took it with them.
The six sat down at the table that was set in front of the window. Dan at the end of the table, Lina on his right, Minny right next to Lina, you on the other end, Harry next to you, and Jackson next to Harry. Everyone was loading food on their plates before passing it around or across the table, Lina making sure everyone got one of each.
“Alright, eat up!”
The conversation flowed throughout the table. The parents asked the kids how work was going, to which everyone responded that it was going well.
“Harry, honey, is your mom and sister planning to stay as well?” Lina asks.
Harry clears his throat and wipes his mouth before replying, “they might come at the end of the week—probably the weekend. Gems couldn’t get out of work, so they’ll only stay for a few days.” She nodded and turned to you.
“Has your mother changed her mind? About coming?” She gives you a sympathetic look.
“I don’t think so. She said she would call you later.” Lina smiles at that. Your eyes naturally gravitated towards Harry and he has a confused look on his face looking back at you, but you look down at your plate before picking up your ribs and taking a bite out of them.
You listen to the conversation while you eat; Dan telling the table a story about a cliff diving incident that happened to Lina when they were in Greece, and the whole table was laughing their ass off, even though they’ve heard it a million times; it never gets old.
You finished your rib and set it down on your plate before wiping your hands down, and before you went to wipe your lips, you felt a napkin, one that’s not yours, wipe your cheek. You turn and see Harry trying to get the stained sauce from your skin.
“Thank you.” You say awkwardly once he’s done, and he gives you a smile followed by a chuckle. He didn’t mean to do that. He knew you were a messy eater and it was a habit that he wiped stuff off your face. A habit that worked well for the both of you, like you were a team. A natural born team.
Once everyone was finished with lunch, it was nearing 2 p.m already, and the group decided to split and do whatever they please as they were going to be all together tomorrow and the rest of the trip.
After everyone helped clean up the table and kitchen, you decided to take a nap before watching the sun set for the day.
Your body hit the mattress and soft pillows that made you feel like you were on a cloud. The room was dark, thanks to the thick curtains that hung from the metal rod. The only light that was shown was a strip of it coming from the curtain not being able to close all the way. You snuggled your pillow, happy you’re finally getting some rest after a long day.
When you woke up, it was still light out, but not as sunny as it was prior to your nap. You stretched your limbs out, relieving the feeling of any tense muscles from your sleep, and walked downstairs and to the backyard.
“Good nap?” Harry says from the lawn chair that is set on the grass. You rub your eyes, nodding while closing the sliding door. There’s a vacant seat next to him, and you’re not quite sure if you want to sit next to him or watch the sun disappear when your feet are in the water. “Want to sit here?” He asks as if he read your mind.
“I-”
“I can see that you’re debating if you want to sit next to me or not, so I can leave and you can sit here if you want.” He says, and you feel bad a bit. He already thinks that you don’t want him here, and he’s simply here for Lina and Dan.
“It’s okay. You can stay. I’m just going to go by the water.” He only nods and you walk away.
The water softly hits the shore and you feel the coldness of it hit your feet. It’s refreshing and cooling, hoping it’ll cool down your nerves and your mood.
You cross your arms as you watch the sun slowly begin to set. The fascination you have with the sun is like no other. It reminds you of the feeling of hope and a new beginning; how the sun setting resembles the end of a story, a day. And tomorrow is a new day.
You can’t help but think about your situation with Harry and how it’s hypocritical to be talking about a new story when you’ve been clinging onto his story. You feel a little stressed keeping the grudge and anger towards him bottled up because he hurt you bad, but you’re also still in love with him.
As the sky turned from light to dark, you turned around to go inside, and to see if Harry was still sitting on the chair. But when you’re walking away from the water and towards the house, you see the chair empty, and you don't know why you have a sad feeling in your chest.
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taglist
#utcm 1#utcm#LETS GOOO BABYY#canyon moon#fine line#harry#harry styles#harry styles series#harry styles writing#harry styles angst#harry styles fluff#harry styles smut#harry styles ff#1d ff#famous!harry#boyfriend!harry#exboyfriend!harry#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles dirty imagine#harry styles x reader#harry styles x you
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bout to make a Monster of a fic rec post here we go
heyo @jinx108! We’ll start with the complete ones because sometimes you’re just not in the mood to wait for the last chapter, you know? I don't remember details of all of these so i’m just going to copy the author’s summary rather than write my own. I am literally just going through my bookmarks, I got 400 of these to sort through. if ive talked to or am familiar with the author im gonna mention them, but if I mention you and you don't want me to have Please tell me and i’ll remove it.
If you’re not into spoilers Please Tread Carefully, I don't watch out for that stuff so I wont know to label it
1>Crushing Truth by Bunzuku: Tododeku. “Romance is hard enough for a teenager to understand when they have a good relationship role model. For Shoto, it takes two excited meddlers for him to even realize what his feelings really are.“
2>Disowned by b00mgh: tododeku + others. Unrated, some traumatic elements. “Shouto freaks out under a bridge and I use the word "grass" a lot more than I really should. Izuku does his stupid martyr thing and everyone makes continuous references to his propensity to break his bones. Aizawa goes "oh FUCK my kids are dying again" and his students use him as emotional (and physical) support. A friend requests angst, I say what kind, she say idk make someone get disowned and i say oh this I can absolutely provide my good buddy.”
3>cotton candy hands by @chonideno: Kiribaku. I will take Any excuse to rec this fic, its the most fluffy pile of feels Good Lord. also the first fic I ever bound into a physical book. “Studying to become a hero requires knowing how to take care of yourself. Sometimes you might need help on the way so if your crush offers to do your hair for you or to give you a well-deserved back rub, it'd be stupid to say no. A series of soft vignettes in which a love-struck Kirishima and a touch-starved Bakugou care for each other and it's definitely not making their hearts jump through hoops, they’re never this close to kissing, no, they're totally best friends bro“
4>Catching Sight of the Storm by neo7v: Kiribaku, tododeku. A considerable amount of Whump and related angst, and kinda sad tbh. “Blind. Quirkless. Useless.The first two things were stated clearly by the doctor that sat about five feet in front of Izuku. The third was a word that Kacchan called him everytime he failed to make the jump on whatever forest excursion they were on or when he ran into a tree because he hadn’t seen it. “I’m so, so sorry, Izuku.” Was his mom giving up on him already? But he could still be a hero if he tried hard enough, right? Quirkless or not. Blind or not. Just because Izuku was useless now didn’t mean he would stay that way forever, right? *** A Blind!Izuku AU”
5>Yell Heah by fakecharliebrown: Chatfic. M a n y pairings. technically complete, but part of an ongoing series. “Iida creates a group-chat for Class 1-A. It doesn't go as planned.“
6>Sunshine by Rosey_Note: BIG SAD. tw- failed suicide attempt. KiriKamiBaku. “They didn't deserve to put up with his crappy mood. Because Denki Kaminari did not feel like Sunshine right now. And they deserved sunshine. In fact, Denki didn't feel much of anything right now.“
7>Electric Connection by Onlymostydead: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk has always had... Weird side affects. Like his ADHD. And his constant energy. And his insomnia, which wouldn't leave him be right now, when he really needed to just get some sleep. But, thankfully, he has good friends.“
8>The Best (The Worst) by Onlymostydead: no romantic pairing. tw- rampant transphobia, both outside and internalized. “Bakugou Katsuki has known who he was since he was four years old. He was a boy, it was as simple as that. Around his friends, at school... But things couldn't just be that simple, could they?“
9>Lichtenberg Figures by Q_loves_you: no definite romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki has a very powerful force of nature running through his body. Kaminari Denki doesn't want to hurt anybody. He doesn't always get what he wants, and "anybody" does generally include himself.“
10>Eventuality by KikaTouka: ill be honest I don't remember this one at all, I maaaay not have read it yet :/. anyway. ShinKami. “Shinsou learns more than just hero lessons after being transferred to 1-A.“
11>Pickup Lines for the Soul by MustardSoup: ShinKami. “Denki is twelve when he is flicking through the TV channels and lands on an old RomCom movie about soulmate marks – specifically the same type that he has. “I can’t believe I’ve had to walk around with a cheap pickup line written on my ankle my entire life because of you!” The leading lady yells at the leading man as he stares at her in awe. Denki laughs. “Oh no.” His mother says, watching him. “Oh no, indeed.” His sister repeats quietly.“
12>caught in my own web by @anxioussailorsoldier: ShinKami. “Shinsou needs some help after getting caught up in his capture weapon. Kaminari enters from stage left.“
13>not so summer love by nataliya: ShinKami. “Class 2-B’s common room, although typically quiet, was currently filled with five students—three slowly giving up on homework, one bitching about noise and another that rushes through the front door. “We’ve been waiting for you—” Mina starts, but Kaminari’s vaulting over the back of the couch, eyes wide as he practically buzzes out of his skin, emitting light like crazy as currents dazzle across strands of hair. “I have a big ugly crush,” He steps off the couch and onto the coffee table, much to Bakugou’s chagrin, “On big ugly Shinsou.””
14>Blamed by coldandhotsoba: ShinKami. Tw- they fuckin kill a guy and its a lil nasty. “This was not how the day was supposed to end. They were supposed to end the day like they do most nights. Kaminari clutching onto him like a koala as he slept, wrapped in the millions of tacky blankets Kaminari had bought. Warm and safe in their bed. It was not supposed to end with both of them tied up in some cold metal room.“
15>Lightning Scars by Present-Mics-Scream (write_your_way_out): Shinkami. “It's hard to be confident in your abilities when you're surrounded by people with incredible quirks. Shinsou Hitoshi would know better than anyone. Sure, he was admitted to the hero course in his second year, but being admitted to the hero course, and keeping up with the rest of the class are two different things. Lucky for him, Kaminari is there to prove that the flashiest quirks come with the largest drawbacks.“
16>See No Evil, Hear No Evil by randomfan188: no romantic pairing. “Kaminari Denki is legally blind. When he forgets to wear his contacts and breaks down during math class, comfort appears in the strangest of ways.“
17>how not to enjoy the weather, an article by kaminari denki by dreamtowns: no defined romantic pairing. “If there was one thing Kaminari hated the most in a world wth villains, it would have to be thunderstorms.“
18>”Studying” by emmyrox22: ShinKami, EraserMic. “Shinsou and Kaminari have been “studying” together for a while (but not for school). Shinsou gets stopped by his dads on the way to another “study” session and mistakes are made“
19>Weaknesses by sunflowerstorm: ShinKami. “Kaminari's quirk and storms compliment each other in the worst way, but he's convinced he can deal with it on his own... until he really can't any longer. When Shinsou accidentally overhears Aizawa confronting Kaminari about recent changes in behaviour and hears about the hell his quirks been putting him through, he can't just pretend he never heard. He wants to help.“
20>it’s hurt denki hours by memeingfultrash: ShinKami + others. ““Certain members of our class are...under the impression that...you’re the traitor.” Denki’s body went cold and felt like he was going to short circuit. ~some of class 1a believes that denki is the traitor and avoid him”
21>Petition to replace Mineta with Shinsou- (signed by Kaminari Denki) by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami + others. This is one of my favorites, I go back to reread it from time to time. It SAYS 41/42, but that's just a glitch cus chapter 36 doesn't exist for some reason, I talked to the author about it and its fine. “Mineta brings shame to the color purple. You know who does not bring shame to the rich color, but pride and sexual tension to one infatuated Kaminari Denki instead? Shinsou Hitoshi, aka sexy zombie man, aka the most perfect hunk of a man to walk planet earth, aka future husband. Shinsou has finally gotten his chance to prove himself to the hero course, and he did more than prove himself. The only question left unanswered is whether he will start in A or B, and how Kaminari can manipulate the end result.“
22>How to Get a Boyfriend (in Four Easy Steps!) by e1ana: ShinKami, EraserMic, + others. “Step 1: Get kicked out of the house by your homophobic parents. Step 2: Run headfirst into your brooding, mysterious crush. Step 3: Sleep in his dad’s (see: your homeroom teacher) house Step 4: Watch everything you thought you knew go to shit. This isn’t exactly the sweet, romantic plan that Kaminari Denki longed for. Will everything be ok, or will step 5 be to crash and burn?“
23>Bakugou and Todoroki’s Foolproof 5-Step Plan to Fuck with Mineta Minoru by Anubis_2701: Kiribaku, TodoDeku, + others. This is another one of my favorites, and the one I am currently folding and sewing into a physical book. you learn how to do funny things when bored and quarantined ig. “It was a simple enough idea; screw around with the resident bastard of Class 1-A to let him know that his medieval ways and perverted behaviour weren't going to be tolerated by even the most career-focused of UA's students. To say that things had snowballed was an understatement. Todoroki had no idea how he had ended up sitting on Bakugou's floor at 1 am, holding a dossier of incriminating material that would make the FBI slobber, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The long and short of it was, fuck Mineta.”
24>Colour Theory by chancellorxofxtrash: TodoBakuDeku. this one’s a series. “Midoriya/Bakugo/Todoroki slow burn soulmate AU. All three of them are nerds with their own emotional issues, trying to navigate their way through becoming heroes, and their own relationship with each other.“
25>Summer Sunshine by Mara97: TodoDeku. Ever want a Barbie in a mermaid tale/Bnha crossover? No? well here you go anyway! “Instead of worrying about college, Izuku spends his summer vacation finding out his father is, supposedly, a dead merman king and going on a quest to dethrone the current king, Endeavor. Along the way, Izuku becomes close to the three journeying with him, makes friends with strangers, starts crushing on an unattainable prince, and, in the end, learns to love himself. Oh, and he saves a kingdom, too.“
26>The snowflakes on our skin and the flames in our soul are one (and the same), my love by missunderstuffyou: TodoDeku, Kiribaku. this is one of the ones I keep a running reread comment going on. its at,,, 6, atm. “Before your quirk begins to present itself, the soulmate link comes through, and suddenly whatever you write upon your own skin appears on the body of your soulmate. As your soulmate writes to you, the emotions they feel follow through the ink.Izuku Midoriya is four years and a few months old when he first feels the slight ebbing in his arms. It doesn’t hurt… he can just feel something, and it’s enough to make him sprint into his mother’s arms screaming that his quirk is coming. She had been washing in the kitchen, and the sudden screech as her son rockets into her side is enough to make her jump with panic, immediately grabbing at him and looking for cuts and bumps before she understands his words and the stupidly bright, alight smile on his face with large, watery, hopeful eyes. Shoto Todoroki doesn’t feel his soulmate connection open up. It is drowned in the aches of a small body worked far too hard.“
27>It was dark inside the closet by Chad_Champion69420: Pre-ShinDeku? maybe? its tagged shindeku but like. it’ll make sense if you read it. “Midoriya is invited to a party. He and Shinsou decide to play a little trick on the rest of the party during Seven Minutes in Heaven.”
28>how to woo your local trash gremlin: a comprehensive guide by Todoroki shouto by wonhaebunny: TodoBaku. this is the fic that dragged me into todobaku, fun fact. “five times shouto tries to confess to bakugou, and one time he doesn't bother tryingaka: wikihow is a scam and bakugou is a terrible, terrible boy“
29>top ten photos taken right before disaster by Shookspeare: ShinDeku. “Izuku participates in a harmless prank, only to end up ruining it and running for dear life.“
30>Secrets to Share by pechebaie: no definite romantic pairing. “Kirishima comes out first, and nothing changes. Kirishima and Kaminari still hang out to complain about class and talk about boys - and sometimes girls, too, in Kaminari’s case; he still plans stupid pranks with Sero that get them sent to the principal’s or nurse’s office every time; Ashido still kicks his ass at Mario Kart without hesitation; and Bakugou doesn’t get angry at him any more than he usually does.“
31>What One Hides by Pinalinet: TodoDeku. “All Might gives class 1-A an unusual assignment that results in Midoriya Izuku and Todoroki Shouto attending a weekly acting class. But with a mysterious villain targeting individuals without Quirks, and a developing issue of Todoroki's own, an after-school assignment is the least of their worries.“
32>whether or not we’re fated, we’re meant to be by juurensha: KINDA SPOILERY. TodoDeku + others. “Todoroki didn’t have a soulmark for most of his life.His siblings all did, but up until the day of the U.A. entrance exam, he had shoved the idea aside. It’s not like they could help him anyway. And then a 9 appears on his chest, and a green-haired boy barrels into his life with a fire and ice soulmark on his arms, and suddenly Todoroki cares very much about all this could mean.”
33>The Midnight Shift by meiishu @meiishu @totallytodoroki (idk which you’d rather I attach so I went with both): ShinKami. ““Hey Toshi,” Denki says, and he laughs, clearly embarrassed. He’s got on a jean jacket that did him absolutely no help and a white tee shirt that is currently stuck to his torso. It’s got a pikachu design in the center. “By any chance, do you sell umbrellas?” “You really went out in this weather.” Hitoshi deadpans, instead of dignifying that with an answer. or hitoshi works the midnight shift at the gas station, which also doubles as a pokestop for pokemon go. of course, denki is a regular.”
34>Rock the House by AkabaneKayo: ShinKami. “It wasn’t just his bed. It was his entire fucking room shaking. Only one thought crossed his mind at that moment: “Holy shit. My room is haunted.”“
35>Technically, they’re morning kisses by CharaTheQuartz: ShinKami. “Most nights, Shinsou cannot fall sleep. Neither can Kaminari. It seems counterproductive to have a sleepover then, but they try to make it work. And they fail, but that is okay.“
36>someone to call mine by nearly_theyre: ShinKami, EraserMic “From: Me wish you were here, denks From: kitten 💛💘💛 what if i was tho? OR Four times Denki snuck into Hitoshi's room and one time he walked through the front door.“
37>Pretty by Onlymostydead (noticing some repeat authors? me too): no definite romantic pairing. “(Or, Kaminari still can't figure out bra clasps.) Kaminari has never really felt good about himself. Herself? Whichever way, not knowing doesn't make anything easier. Especially when he (she?) and Mina have their bodies swapped during training, and everything seems too right.“
38>If I offer you my hand, will you take it? by bleukitsune: Kiribaku. SPOILERY. ““Why?” Kirishima leaned back on his hands, trying to create some space between them. Too close. The ash-blond looked really nervous, his usually arrogant and cunning demeanor gone. “What do you see when you look at me? Kirishima is worried. Bakugou is hurting. After his confrontation with Midoriya, he finally reaches out to him. “
Theres way more but I haven't tagged them properly yet so that m a y come later if I can ever finish going through and adding my sorting tags.
and then a last few that Are Not Complete but im really very fond of them. not as many as id like to add, but my hands are getting tired tbh.
39>State of Mind by GuardianOfTheLoaf: no relationship YET but its looking like it’ll be either tododeku or shindeku, probably the former. EraserMic. tw- childhood neglect and severe depression. Izuku’s not a happy kid. “Izuku was a late bloomer, his quirk lying dormant until his tenth birthday when in a fit of emotion he grabs his mother and she disappears. With All Might slowly restoring his confidence Izuku begins the difficult journey into becoming a hero.“ 18/? chapters.
40>Izuku Eats His Problems by CosmicAce: ShinDeku. Izuku’s a flerkin, what more could you want? “His whole life, Izuku Midoriya was taught to keep his powers, his Quirk, hidden from the world. His kind were feared, hunted to near extinction because of it. He just wants to show people he’s different. That he can be a HERO. And nothing is going to stop him. Even if his Quirk IS like an eldritch abomination.“ 43/? chapters
and then probably my current favorite bnha fic- although it fights with Apertum Mortem for that spot but that ones d a r k and not here-
41>family of the year by periiwren: EraserMic. “Hitoshi is done. Done with moving around every few months to a couple that will scrutinize him and eventually dump him right back where he started. Good thing he’s well past his strike limit now- at least he can stay in one place, be content to age out of the system and finish out his training with Aizawa. Maybe transfer into the hero course, maybe be a hero- but none of that was guaranteed. The only thing for sure was that he was going to stay in that center for the rest of his childhood. Or so he thought- because Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi have other plans.“ 24/? chapters. we’ve been informed that this one’s gonne be l o n g and im Very Grateful.
42>Here There Be Dragons by here_and_there: pre-ShinDeku. “Izuku looked at the small circle Aizawa had motioned to in front of them. "I won't fit," he whispered, thinking. He raised his hand, tentatively. Sighing, Aizawa grumbled, "What?" "I-I have a question. Actually, two." His teacher just stared at him, unimpressed. Izuku continued. "Can we activate our quirks before we step into the ring?" Aizawa looked up into the sky, muttering something Izuku didn't hear. "If you must." "O-Okay. Uh, second question. You said we have to stay inside the circle, right?" "Yes." The man looked disappointed, not only in Izuku but in himself for letting the kid speak. "Great. Uh... does that include tails?"“ 6/? chapters.
43>Another Option by sandersonsister: TodoBakuDeku, Touya/Hawks, Dabi/Hawks. Potentially Spoilery, depends on whether horikoshi has the guts to confirm Touya. this one is waiting around the corner with a baseball bat, its really cute, and then r e a l l y painful. it might be getting better though. maybe. it might be getting worse. “When Touya stops his mother from hurting Shouto, he decides enough is enough. He needs to get out of this house and he's taking his baby brother with him.“ 33/? chapters.
That's it i’m done for now, oof. maybe ill edit more onto this post later, maybe i’ll just make another one. hope some of these work!
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I hope you take this as a complement because I mean it as such but you look like someone I could have had a really close friendship with in secondary school as we navigated through the trials and tribulations of adolescence and later developed into a romantic relationship that ended up dissolving as we grew apart but I would always think back to that time and remember you fondly, you give me old friend who I always remember when their birthday passes every year even though it’s been half a decade since we spoke and my email password is your phone number vibes, you give me the girl I once saw on the late train home in 2015 with smudged mascara and glitter on her cheeks and a cool grungy outfit that I really liked but was too shy to compliment you vibes, you give me the girl I met when I was seven on a summer trip to PleasureWood Hills (lol) with forest eyes and a friendly smile who I instantly get along with that I never see again but one day 10 years later I sit next to a girl on a crowded bus on a hazy, august day and she has a friendly smile and forest eyes and she asks me if we’ve met before vibes
omggggggggg listen listen listen i have literally been rendered insane by this 😳😳😳 you have bewitched me heart and soul quite literally angelll on earth oh my fucking god!!! help!!! 999 someones stolen my breath </3 first of all i’m going to need you to write a book immediately because HELLO?? i feel like i need to read a million pages of how you see the world. rn. this is soooo beautiful and heartfelt, it makes me yearn to know you so i can be all of those people for you somehow !! like it’s criminal that we are not in fact childhood besties with a complex past and an unspoken love. also i bet we have met in another life cuz how else are you able to warm my heart like this hmmmm. and second of all, i’m not even proposing to you - i am just now considering us already married and together and best friends for eternity. please let me get this tattooed on the inside of my brain so i never forget it <3 thank you sm my lovely plz know that i’m with you nd rooting for you always from my corner of the earth. you deserve the universe x
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Dream Girl
@hailmary-yramliah “hi I don't know if you're taking requests but could you do a Bucky x reader where reader is in love with Bucky but he's completely clueless and just goes on to date someone, making readers heart break. The end is up to you. I'm just a sucker for angst and thanks in advance if you do this! Totally fine if you don't :)”
Summary: You’ve been in love with Bucky since the moment you met him. But he’s never seen it.
Warning: ANGST. I’M WARNING Y'ALL
A/N: I wrote this in less than a day. I reallllly loved the prompt and man did I run with it. Apologies in advance guys😘 Also I love you @hailmary-yramliah for requesting this♥
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“I’m in love with him, Natasha,” you sigh, “And he only sees me as his girl best friend. And even then, he barely see’s me as a girl.” It was a horrible truth. He was the one the songs made sense about and the star of your daydreams. But he just sees you as his wing girl. The girl up for anything, and always has your back.
You were essentially a plot device in the story that is James ‘Bucky’ Barnes life. The one meant to lead the character to the happiness of some sort. Just not happiness that included you.
“I know honey, he does that to people,” she breathes softly the pity thick in her voice. Natasha had been in love with him too, once upon a time. They were the high school it couple, who realized after four months that they didn’t belong together, just were meant to be friends. She held no love or resentment toward the man, and they remained friends. She did, however, wish he would see that his dream girl was head over heels for him so that she wouldn’t have to comfort her over another bottle of wine.
“Have you seen that hair, no wonder I’m in love with him. He has,” you take a second to sob, “floppy hair!” The blubbering stage has come and you know you’re going to regret it in the morning. But at this point, what in your life did you not regret.
The next morning you wake up on the floor, next to an empty glass and a discarded pizza box. Natasha is on the couch, one arm hanging off the other over her eyes. You really didn’t deserve her, she could be with her boyfriend in bed comfortable and instead, she is hungover on your couch.
Deciding moping around the house is lame and pathetic you go to take a shower. It does little to cure the headache, but at least you smell better now. Natasha is still asleep, and you let her electing instead to make breakfast to thank her for listening to your sorry ass.
She wakes up and mumbles a ‘no’ before eating the food and going to sleep in your bed. So much for spending the day together. Might as well put the day to use and clean the house. That’s what sad people do right?
By 5 pm your house is spotless, and there’s a knocking on your door. You open it to find a disheveled Bucky, anxiously tapping his foot.
“How do I get a girl to go out with me?”
“Hi to you too,” you reply and open the door wider to let him in. “You’re always with girls, what’s got you so worked up?”
He huffs and collapses on your couch, “Those are just hookups, mindless things. Now this girl? She’s amazing. Her eyes sparkle and her laugh? She’s the girl of my dreams,” he chuckles, “I could die a happy man listening to that sound.”
You’ve never heard him so enamored for a girl. Your best friend was a one night stand kind of guy, the player who doesn’t settle down. And for the most part that made the whole ‘in love with him,’ thing hurt less. You could lie to yourself and say it wasn’t that he wasn’t in love with you, it was that he didn’t date or fall in love with anyone.
But if he was freaking out over a girl? Then that meant there was a girl. And that tore your heart even more.
“She seems special,” you say swallowing all sadness down.
“Never met anyone like her. She’s shy and speaks softly. But will mutter sarcastic things under her breath, and if she catches me staring she blushes heavily.”
“Oh, hey Nat’s asleep in my room. I’m gonna go check on her and change.”
“Okay, I’m gonna find a movie to watch and figure out what I should text her,” he says, completely far gone.
You shut the door to your bedroom and collapse against the door. This was too much. He was in deep for this mystery girl. Nat’s unfortunately awake and sees you crying against the door.
“Sweetheart, what’s wrong,” she says quickly getting up from the bed to rub your back.
“Bucky’s here. He’s got a hardcore crush on a girl. Never,” you heave trying to control your emotions enough to speak, “Seen him like this,”
You recount the story quickly to Nat while rubbing your eyes and blowing into a tissue.
“Honey, calm down. Are you sure he’s not talking about you? Maybe he’s being mysterious because it’s you?” You pause your crying. Maybe it was you. Everything he said sounded like something you do. What if he finally realized that he was as in love with you as you were him. Maybe your life really could be a fairy tale.
“You fix yourself up, and I’m gonna go home. Miss my Clint, and such. Call me tomorrow and tell me what happens, okay?” she says hugging you tightly and then pushing you towards your closet to change and dry your eyes.
You’re midway through the most boring movie ever, when you decide to see if he’s talking about you.
“Is she from around here?” you blurt out.
“Yeah! Lived here all her life,” he says and you nod. You’ve also lived here all your life. You let the movie continue on.
“What’s her name?”
“Not jinxing this doll,” he laughs and you poke his shoulder to see if he’ll crack but he doesn’t.
The movie finally ends so you turn to him,
“Where’d the two of you-uh meet?”
“That coffee shop down the street. Ran in to buy a cup and she owns the place. Best damn coffee I’ve ever had too. Doesn’t look at me weird when I order a cup of black coffee,” he says smiling like a fool. You didn’t own a coffee shop. Wanda did, however.
“Wanda?”
“You know her?!” he asks excitedly.
“Yeah, she’s amazing,” you say unbeknownst to him that your heart had finally broken in half. No, not half, that was to clean. More like a thousand pieces, that would be hard to piece back together. He wasn’t in love with you, why would he. He was in love with her, the red-haired girl who would give you extra pastries when you worked on assignments in her shop, or comment sweet things on every picture you posted on Instagram. The girl who could only be described as sunshine. Of course, he would fall for her, they would be perfect together.
“Go to her shop, and order a coffee. Compliment her display, and ask if she wants to check out that new Sokovian restaurant downtown. Her parents were from there, she’ll say yes.” you say.
“You really think she’ll say yes?” he asks nervously.
“Why wouldn’t she, you’re the perfect guy Bucky. She’d be lucky to have you,” you say with a painful smile. He hugs you and thanks you a million times.
A week later you get a FaceTime call, followed by four urgent texts reading “PICK UP PLEASE”. You answer to see Bucky, with two ties around his neck, a bomber jacket half on and a panicked look on his face.
“She said yes, we’re going out tonight. I need to leave in like 10 minutes, and I can’t for the life of me figure out what to wear,” he says gasping, “Suit seems too formal, jeans too casual. I’ve never done a date tomorrow. How do you dress?!” the last part comes out as a shout and you see him collapse on his bed.
“Wear one of your button-down shirts with black pants. Leather jacket on top, to make it less formal. Plus you look good in that jacket,” you say and he looks at you shocked.
“How do you do that so quickly?”
“I’m a girl, I’m good at this stuff,” you say omitting the fact you had been planning the outfit he’d wear on his first date with you for years.
“Gotta go, thanks, doll, you’re the best friend I could ask for!” he says ending the call. Apparently, you’d have to settle for just being the best friend. Bucky had finally found his dream girl, and it wasn’t you.
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author + fic recs
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below are a list of writers and my my fav fics of theirs, pls give them some love!! don’t forget to REBLOG, SEND A MESSAGE, OR LEAVE FEEDBACK. sometimes leaving a like isn’t quite enough, so leave a small comment telling them how much you loved it! it really makes their day.
@sketchguk TERESA, uGH my lovie, my world, my moon, my stars, the cause of my euphoria, my queen, the angel from the heavens. she is an incredible writer, and i’ve read all of her works probably thirty million times. they’re sweet, amazing, and definite must-reads! READ HER ENTIRE MASTERLIST, it’s worth it i promise 🥺
-> kiss the girl; worth the wait; lover to lean on; 10 muses
@sleepyjhs violet??? omg, her reactions, drabbles, and writings are so soft and lovely!! pls give her a read, send her some love, reblog her amazing works, and leave come comments! she’s such a sweet angel, and her blog is beautiful (so aesthetically pleasing)
@gukyi GUYI!! guys, this is a no-brainer. i’m sure you’ve read her fics, if not, go give her a read. her fics are absolutely amazing, incredible, and every positive word in the world. the amount of talent she pours into each piece of writing is incredible and phenomenal, she is literally one of the most talented writers on here. go send her some love if you haven’t already!
-> the millionaire & his lover; raspberry truffles; the courtship chronicles; if i told you; the underwear thief; the coffee shop contract
@jamaisjoons hi i love solaris, she owns my heart. anyways, she is a pretty-well known blog in my opinion, and totally deserves it! her writings are amazing, incredible, and i love them so much. her banners are super cute like her too 🥺 she’s the sweetest person, her fics are some of my go-to rereads and my all-time favorites. pls go flood her inbox with love, she’s an incredible angel.
-> faded love; the sea & the storm; love alive
@honeymoonjin guys sora is the most beautiful soul on here 🥺 i love her fics so much, they bring out the ugly tears, the soft feelings, the uwu hours, and emotions i didn’t know i had. i’ve read her entire masterlist probably a billion times because of how talented she is, like skskksksksk?? i don’t understand. go bombard her with love, adoration, and feedback for her lovely fics. she writes them so well, and they’re also hilarious to read!!
-> florezco; anpanman
@jungshookz CEE!! omg i love all of her fics. each and every single one of them is absolutely incredible. i love the style of her writing, i love the hilarious interactions, the tropes, and everything about her fics. she is one of my all-time favorite blogs that i’ve come across, please send her lots of love if you haven’t already!! she is so so talented and incredible, make sure to check out her drabbles and tags!! it’s always hilarious and so much fun to read her fics -- i cackle like a witCH--
-> cowabunga baby; caramel macchiato; gymrat jungkook; beneath the water; suit & tie; soccer coach jungkook; yoga instructor jungkook; ta! jimin; ballet teacher jimin (OMG MY FAV)
@junqkook hi yara is bomb guys. yara’s fics are oh-so-incredible and she’s one of the first blogs i came across in this fandom!! there’s something about the way she writes, the way her words seem to flow together so perfectly that’s incredible. really and truly, she is one of the sweetest people on here and is very very very talented. go give her some love. btw her banners for her fics and her navigation is super cute uwu.
-> rottenfolk; the young wolf; into the woods (series); la douleur exquise
@httpjeon DAISYYY, she’s amazing and i love her. anyways, daisy is the QUEEN of cute banners and headers. she’s so talented and everything on her masterlist is a masterpiece. the way she writes is so beautiful and her stories are amazing!! the detail, the *cough* smut *cough*, the descriptive scenes, and the characters are incredible! gold! amazing! wonderful! i’ve run out of words to describe how lovely they are, but please give her some (re)reads and reblogs!
-> bunny blues (series); lovebug; sehebon; club ardor (series)
@kinktae rosyyyyy is one of the sweetest people on here and im totally here for her friendship with daisy + nora + yara uw. they’re best friend goals. anyways, her fics are like watching movies. they are so detailed and well-written that it plays in your head. you can imagine each scene playing out as you read and they’re really amazing. pls go check them out and give them some love!
-> soliloquy; camellia (two-shot); bitchin’ (series); flesh & blood (series)
@taesthetes uwu, cat’s works are some of the most amazing ones i’ve ever read. they never fail to amaze me and are always guaranteed to bring out emotions. thy’re truly beautiful works of art, and are some definite must-reads! her blog is so lovely and pretty too!
-> let’s unfall in love; amour; hiraeth; her masterlist (just read everything guys it’s incredible)
@ughkive mo! mO! MO! mo is my lovie and an angel. she’s such a beautiful soul and has the heart of an angel. her writings are amazing and some you should definitely check out! the way she writes is beautiful and i love her style of writing, please go flood her mailbox with love and support! much love to you, bb!
-> broken cathedrals; heart strings; bucket list; habits
@gukgalore hi rayan is my intelligent, gorgeous, radiant, and stunning queen. she is the absolute sweetest and must be flooded with love and hugs. go check out the queen, i love her, the aesthetic & layout of her blog, and her writings very very much!! they are very amazing and worth the read! many of them make me emotional and i dont know how she’s so taleneted. pls give her love.
-> young; jungkook breaks your trust (drabble); jungkook lies (drabble); something new
@guksheart she is one of my fav blogs everrr. i truly adore all of her fics and have reread them millions of times. they’re absolutely incredible, and always leave me in awe or speechless because of the talent that’s poured into each writing. each fic is a work of art, a masterpiece, and a treasure. pls go check her out, give her some compliments on her pretty blog, her cute banners, and her amazing self! lots of must-reads all waiting on her masterlist. also,,, on a side note lol her titles are so cute and i love them with all of my heart!! uwu
-> close the distance; in twenty years time; cover me in blue; plans for wedding bands; sugar coated; victor’s game (series m.list)
@gukills POPPY! or tati, i love her so very much with all of my heart and my entire being. she’s gorgeous, radiant, bright, and an angel blessed to us from the heavens!! not only is she the sweetest, she’s so talented in both writing and art! her writings are amazing and something you should definitely check out! uwu her navigation is so cute as well, go give her some love.
-> every moment is valuable; broken glass; just out the window (two-shot)
@cupofteaguk omg omg hiiiii. LOL im sorry but traci’s blog is one of my favs!! she’s one of the first blogs i came across when first joining this fandom and is so incredibly talented. i’ve reread all of her fics millions of times and i love them so so much. they’re so cute, sweet, and hilarious. the way she writes is incredible and i love the tropes and cliche plots that she twists or tweaks to turn into masterpieces. each fic she’s written is gold and i’m always excited to see her pop up on my dash. her banners are all so adorable just like her blog. go give her some love!!
-> like flowers we bloom; the endless winter; breath of spring; hopeless hearts; take my hand (i love this one v much!)
@onherwings hi jo, i adore you with all of my heart and being. jo is such a sweet and talented soul that i’m incredibly lucky and forever grateful to be friends with!! all of her fics are amazing and totally worth the read. her writing style, the descriptive scenes, the plots, the cute banners, the funny interactions, and the way she constructs the relationships as they blossom is beautiful. it feels like a breath of fresh air, walking through a meadow of clouds and stars, and the fuzzy, warm feeling you get from being with people you love. her fics are beautiful and so fun to read. flood her mailbox with love, asks, and support!!
-> mask; the better one; reasons to say i love you
@angelguk she’s one of my favorite blogs ever (mwah!) her writings, her blog, her aesthetic, and her layout are absolutely gorgeous!! uwu they make me soft just looking at the pretty colors, matching themes, and accents. her writings are from another planet, omg, there aren’t enough words and emotions in the world to describe how utterly incredible they are. her writing style is just phenomenal and i love the way her words weave together like strands of silk into works of art. literally, hands down, one of the best writers i’ve come across on this site. i love everything about her blog and i’m sure she’s an even more amazing and beautiful person.
-> breakfast in bed; heartfelt; i wish i missed my ex; amour; phases
@cutaepatootie hi sara seems like such a lovely and sweet person so pls give her some love. ask about her day, tell her a joke, make her laugh, make her smile today. :D her writings are incredible. “A Fallen Bookmark on a Thursday Afternoon” hit so hard. i was tearing up, nearly balling my eyes out because of how realistic and genuine her fics feel. it sounds silly, but they feel like their own little worlds, waiting for you to get lost in. they bring out so many feelings and thoughts that i didn’t know i had, or haven’t really thought about. i think about it so often, and she’s one of the first blogs i came across. pls check out her fics and give her some reblogs!
a fallen bookmark on a thursday afternoon; the blue princess and her red rose; animal (series); a brief story of time; touched by a fallen star
@minflix elle is so very lovely and sweet. she reminds me of flowers because of how sweet and beautiful she is, i hope she continues to blossom. she reminds me of the ocean because of how strong, majestic, and powerful her energy and soul are. her url is so clever, we stan an intellectual in this household!! her banners are amazing??? like??? what??? when i saw them i gasped and proceeded to stare at them in wonder. her fics are even better guys!! what a surprise, pls go read them. they’re masterpieces and i’ve reread them too many times to admit. but in all seriousness, she’s absolutely wonderful and i’m super lucky to know her. go give her some love, lots of love to the sweetest bean!!
break the ice; much better; spellbound; a lack of color; the city comes alive
@yourdelights dee! deE! dEE! DEE! dee is such a talented and sweet soul. like??? she’s so sweet? you could get diabetes just from talking to her. nO seriously, she’s one of the friendliest, kindest, and nicest people on here. her fics are adorable and very funny as well as entertaining. her banners, her theme, and her navigation are so cute and stunning just like she is. go give her some love, send her some asks, start a conversation, make her smile, and be her friend!!
-> the best part of me is you; i’m sorry (drabble)
@diortae hi guys, isabel is amazing, stunning, radiant, and a literal ball of sunshine. go send her some love, reblog her fics, and make her smile!! uwu she’s such a sweet person with an even sweeter personality. her fics are so cute, funny, and fascinating. pls pls pls, check out her most recent fic if you haven’t already “An Abundance of Mondays”. each fic is its own world and tale, with its own special traits and unique twists. i love her banners and her writing style very very much. i would give her flowers if i could.
-> an abundance of mondays; the spaces between; until the spring comes again
#fic recs#blog recs#bts writing#bts scenario#bts reaction#bts fluff#bts masterlist#bts angst#bts smut
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Lover Conquers All
By: Mark Sutherland for Music Week Date: November 4th 2019 issue (published online on December 13th 2019)
She’s the world’s biggest pop star, but despite her global success, Taylor Swift is also the music industry’s greatest advocate for artists’ and songwriters’ rights. And, with a ground-breaking new record deal and a bold new album, Lover, she’s not about to stop now. Music Week meets her to talk music and business...
Around this time of year, the Taylor Swift anniversaries come at you thick and fast. Nine years since her third album, Speak Now, every note of which was written entirely by Swift, hit the shelves. Five years since she released her mould-breaking pop album, 1989, and went from the world’s biggest country star to the world’s biggest pop star overnight. Two years since her Reputation record saw her become the only musician to post four successive million-plus debut sales weeks in the United States. And so on.
But today, Swift’s mind is drawn further back, to the 13th anniversary of her debut, self-titled record, and the days when her album releases weren’t automatically accompanied by mountains of hype and enough think-pieces to sink a battleship. Her journal entries from the time - helpfully reprinted as part of the deluxe editions of her new album, Lover - reveal her as an excited, optimistic teenager, but also one with a grasp of marketing strategies and label politics way beyond her years, even if she was reluctant to actually take credit for her ideas.
“It always was and it always will be an interesting dance being a young woman in the music industry,” she smiles ruefully. “We don’t have a lot of female executives, we’re working on getting more female engineers and producers but, while we are such a drastic gender minority, it’s interesting to try and figure out how to be.”
And, of course, when Swift started out she was, as she points out, “an actual kid”.
“I was planning the release of my first album when I was 15 years old,” she reminisces. “And I was a fully gangly 15, I reminded everyone of their niece! I was in this industry in Nashville and country music, where I was making album marketing calls, but I never wanted to stand up and say, ‘Yeah, that promotions plan you just complimented my label on, I thought of that! Me and my Mom thought of that!’
“When you’re a new artist you wonder how much space you can take up and, as a woman, you wonder how much space you can take up pretty much your whole period of growing up,” she continues. “For me, growing up and knowing that I was an adult was realising that I was allowed to take up space from a marketing perspective, from a business perspective, from an opinionated perspective. And that feels a lot better than constantly trying to wonder if I’m allowed to be here.”
In the intervening years, Taylor Swift has released six further, brilliant albums, growing from country starlet to all-conquering pop behemoth along the way. She takes up “more space”, as she would put it, than any other musician on the planet: a sales and now - having belatedly embraced the format with Lover - streaming phenomenon; a powerhouse stadium performer; an award-garlanded songwriter for herself and others; and a social media giant with a combined 278 million followers across Instagram, Twitter and Facebook (which would make the Taylor Nation the fourth most populous one on earth, after China, India and the US).
But her influence on music and the music industry doesn’t end there. Because, over the years, Swift has also become a leading advocate for artists’ and songwriters’ rights, in a digital landscape that doesn’t always have such matters as a priority.
In 2015, she stood up to Apple Music over its plans to not pay artist royalties during subscribers’ three-month free trials (Apple backed down immediately). She pulled her entire catalogue from Spotify in 2014 in protest that its free tier was devaluing music, sending Daniel Ek scrambling to justify his business model. When she returned in 2017, it was a crucial fillip for the streaming service’s IPO plans.
More recently, her ground-breaking new record deal with Republic Records contained clauses not only guaranteeing her ownership of her future masters, but also ensuring Universal Music will share the spoils of its Spotify shares with its artists, without any payments counting against unrecouped balances. And when her long-time former label boss Scott Borchetta sold Big Machine to Scooter Braun’s Ithaca Holdings, taking Swift’s first six albums with him, the star publicly called out what she saw as her “worst-case scenario” and stressed: “You deserve to own the art you make”. She may yet re-record her old songs in protest.
In short, Swift has, for a long time now, been unafraid to use her voice on industry matters, whether they pertain to her own stellar career or the thousands of other artists out there struggling to make a living.
All of which makes Swift not just the greatest star of our age, but perhaps the most important to the future development of the industry as a more artist-centric, songwriter-friendly business. Hers is still the life of the pop phenomenon - she spent today in Los Angeles doing promotion and photoshoots (or, in her words, “having people put make-up on me”) as Lover continues to build on huge critical acclaim and even huger initial sales. But now, she’s kicking back with her cats - one of whom seems determined to disrupt Music Week’s interview by “stampeding” through at every opportunity - and ready to talk business.
And for Swift, business is good. The impact of her joining streaming, and the decline of traditional album sales, may have prevented her from posting a fifth successive one million-plus sales debut, but Lover still sold more US copies (867,000) in its first week than any record since her own Reputation. It’s sold 117,513 copies to date in the UK, according to the Official Charts Company.
Even better, while Reputation - a record forged in the white heat of a social media snakestorm over her on-going feud with Kanye West - was plenty of show and rather less grow, Lover continues to reveal hidden depths. Reputation struck a sometimes curious contrast between the unrepentant warrior Swift she was showing to the outside world and the love story with British actor Joe Aiwyn that was quietly developing behind closed doors, but Lover is the sort of versatile, cohesive album that the streaming age was supposed to kill off.
It contains more than its fair share of pop bangers (You Need To Calm Down, Me!), but also some gorgeously-crafted acoustic tracks (Lover, Cornelia Street), some pithy political commentary (The Man, Miss America & The Heartbreak Prince) and the sort of musical diversions (Paper Rings’ irresistible rockabilly stomp, the childlike oddity of It’s Nice To Have A Friend) that no other pop superstar would have the sheer musical chops to attempt, let alone pull off.
“Taylor’s creative instincts as an artist and songwriter are brilliant,” says Monte Lipman, founder and CEO of Swift’s US label, Republic. “Our partnership represents a strategic alliance built on mutual respect, trust, and complete transparency. Her vision is extraordinary as she sets the tone for every campaign and initiative.”
No wonder David Joseph, chairman/CEO of her long-time UK label Virgin EMI’s parent company Universal Music UK, is thrilled with how things are going.
“Love Story was a fitting first single release for Taylor here - she’s loved the UK from day one and has engaged so much with her fans and teams,” says Joseph. “She really respects and values what’s going on here creatively. To see her go from playing the Students’ Union at King’s College to Wembley Stadium has been extraordinary. Taylor is an artist constantly striving for perfection, and with Lover - from my personal point of view, her most accomplished work to date adore working with her and whilst it’s been more than 10 years this still feels like the start.”
And today, Swift is keen to concentrate on the present and future. She has a starring role in Cats coming up (and a new song on the soundtrack, Beautiful Ghosts, co-written with Andrew Lloyd Webber) and, after a spectacularly intimate Paris launch show in September, festival dates and her own LoverFest to plan (UK shows will be revealed soon). Time, then, to tell the cats to calm down and sit down with Music Week to talk streaming, contracts and why she’s “obsessed” with the music industry...
Unlike with Reputation, most of the discussion around Lover seems to have been focused on the music... Absolutely! One of the ideas I had about this record, and something I’ve implemented into my life in the last couple of years is that I don’t like distractions. And, for a while, it felt like my life had to come with distractions from the music, whether it was tabloid fascination with my personal life or my friendships or what I was wearing. I realised in the last couple of years that, if I don’t give a window into distraction, people can’t try to look in and see something other than the music. I love that, if you really pour yourself into the idea that an album is still important and try really hard to make something that is worth people’s attention span, time and energy, that can still come across. Because we are living in an industry right now where everyone’s rushing towards taking us into a singles industry and, in some cases, it has become that. But there are still some cases where clearly the album is important to people.
Does it matter that some new artists won’t get to make albums the way you always have? It’s interesting. Five years ago I wrote an op-ed in the Wall Street Journal and said, maybe in the next five years, we would see artists releasing music the way that they want to. I thought that each artist would start to curate what is important to them, not just from an artistic standpoint but from a marketing standpoint. It’s really interesting to see different release plans, if you look at what Drake did and then what Beyoncé does, incredible artists who have really curated what it is to drop music in their own way. We all do it differently, which is cool. As long as people dropping just singles want to be doing that, then I’m fine with it, but if it feels like a big general wave that’s being pressured by people in power, their teams or their labels, that’s not cool. But I do really hope that in the future artists have more of a say over strategy. We’re not just supposed to make art and then hand it to a team that masterminds it.
Were you worried about putting an album on streaming on release day for the first time? Well, there are ways that streaming services could really promote the [whole] album in a more incentivised way. We could have album charts on streaming. The industry follows where they can get prizes. So you have a singles chart on streaming services which is great but, if you split things up into genre charts for example, that would really incentivise people. It’s important that we keep trying to strive to make the experience better for users but also make it more interesting for artists to keep wanting to achieve. But I really did love the experience of putting the album on streaming. I loved the immediacy, I loved that people who maybe weren’t a huge diehard fan were curious and saying, ‘I wonder what this is like’ and listening to it and deciding that they liked it.
You’d resisted streaming for a long time. Have you changed your mind about the format now? I always knew that I would enjoy the aspects of streaming that make [your music] so immediately available to so many people. That’s the part of it that I unequivocally always felt really sad I was missing out on. There wasn’t ever a day when I woke up and I was like, ‘Oh, I’m really glad that multitudes of people don’t have access to my music!’ So I always knew that streaming was an incredible mechanism and model for the future but I still don’t think we have the royalties and compensation system worked out. That’s between the labels and their artists and I realised that me, to use a gross word, ‘leveraging’ what I can bring to cut a better deal for the artists at my record label was really important for me.
How big a factor were things like that in you signing to Republic/Universal? That’s important to me because that means they’re adopting some of my ideas. If they take me on as an artist that means they really thought it through. Because with me, come opinions about how we can better our industry. I’m one of the only people in the artist realm who can be loud about it. People who are on their fifth, sixth or seventh album, we’re the only ones who can speak out, because new artists and producers and writers need to work. They need to be endearing and likeable and available to their labels and streaming services at all times. It’s up to the artists who have been around for a second to say, ‘Hey guys, the producers and the writers and the artists are the ones who are making music what it is’. And we’re in a great place in music right now thanks to them. They should be going to their mailbox and feeling like they’ve got a pension plan, rather than feeling like, ‘Oh yay, I can pay half my rent this month after this No.1 song’.
Did you have more creative freedom making Lover than on your previous albums? In my previous situation, there were creative constraints, issues that we had over the years. I’ve always given 100% to projects, I always over-delivered, thinking that that generosity would be returned to me. But I ended up finding that generosity in a new situation with a new label that understands that I deserve to own what I make. That meant so much to me because it was given over to me so freely. When someone just looks at you and says ‘Yes, you deserve what you want’, after a decade or more of being told, ‘I’m not sure you deserve what you want’ - there’s a freedom that comes with that. It’s like when people find ‘the one’ they’re like, ‘It was easy, I just knew and I felt free’. All of a sudden you’re being told you’re worth exactly, no, more than what you thought you were worth. And that made me feel I could make an album that was exactly what I wanted to make. There’s an eclectic side to Lover, a confessional side, it varies from acoustic to really poppy pop, but that’s what I like to do. And, while you would never make something artistic based on something so unromantic as a contract, it was more than that. It was a group of people saying, ‘We believe in what you’re making, go make what you want to make and you deserve to own it too’.
You’re obviously not happy about what’s happened at Big Machine since you left. But will the attention mean artists don’t find themselves in this situation in the future? I hope so. That’s the only reason that I speak out about things. The fans don’t understand these things, the public isn’t being made aware. This generation has so much information available to them so I thought it was important that the fans knew what I was going through, because I knew it was going to affect every aspect of my life and I wanted them to be the first to know. And in and amongst that group, I know there are people that want to make music some day. It involves every new artist that is reading that and going, ‘Wait, that’s what I’m signing?’ They don’t have to sign stuff that’s unfair to them. If you don’t ask the right questions and you sit in front of the wrong desk in front of the wrong person, they can take everything from you.
Songwriters are in dispute with Spotify in the US over its decision to appeal the Copyright Board decision to boost songwriting royalties. Do writers need more respect? Absolutely. In terms of the power structure, the songwriters, the producers, the engineers, the people who are breathing magic into our industry, need to be listened to. They’re not being greedy. This is legitimately an industry where people are having trouble paying their bills and they’re the most talented people we have. This isn’t them sitting in their mansions going, ‘I wish this mansion was bigger and I would like a yacht please’. This is actually people who are going to work every single day. I got into writing when I was in Nashville and it was very much like what I read about the Brill Building. You would write every day, whether you were inspired or not, and in the process I met artists and writers. Somebody would walk in and someone would say, ‘Oh, he’s still getting mailbox money from that Faith Hill cut a couple of years ago, he’s set’. That’s not a thing anymore. Mailbox money is a thing of the past and we need to remember that these are the people that create the heartbeat that we’re all dancing to or crying to.
You were clearly aware of music industry machinations from a young age... Reading back on the journal entries, I forgot how obsessed I was with the industry as a teenager. I was so fascinated by how it works and how it was changing. Every part of it was interesting to me. I had drawn the stages for most of my tours a year before I went on them. That really was fun for me as a teenager! A lot of people who start out very young in music, either don’t have a say or don’t have the will to do the business side of it, but weirdly that was so much fun for me to try and learn. I had a lot of energy when I was 16!
Are you doing similar drawings for next year’s LoverFest? Definitely. And that’s why it’s still fun for me to take on a challenge like, ‘Oh, let’s just plan our own festival’. Let’s create a bill of artists and try and make it as fun as possible for the fans. I’m so intrigued by what that’s going to be like.
Finally, when we last did an interview in 2015, you said in five years’ time you wanted to be “finding complexity in happiness”. How has that worked out? That’s exactly what’s happened with this album! I think a lot of writers have the fear of stability, emotional health and happiness. Our whole careers, people make jokes about how, ‘Just wait until you meet someone nice, you’ll run out of stuff to write about’. I was talking to [Cats director] Tom Hooper about this because he said one thing his mother taught him was, ‘Don’t ever let people tell you that you can’t make art if you’re happy’. I thought that was so amazing. He’s a creator in a completely different medium but he has been subjected to that same joke over and over again that we must be miserable to create. Lover is important to me in so many ways, but it’s so imperative for me as a human being that songwriting is not tied to my own personal misery. It’s good to know that, it really is!
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