#she deserved to have the same opportunities to make something of herself that the boys did

[incorrectklavekatz]

Going back to my roots for this account with this post!!

I can’t be the only one getting slightly irritated with the whole “jinx figured out hextech in ten minutes when it took Viktor and Jayce ten years” thing right?

I feel like it’s entirely dismissive of their work, it didn’t take them a decade to ‘figure out hextech’, they MADE hextech, they know how it works, they made the hexgates in those ten years, what took them so long was STABILISING it, making it less volatile, that likely took them the longest. Utilising it into weapons you can carry around likely only took about as long as it took jinx, and if it did take them longer that’s because they have regulations to meet because they’re working in Piltover, not Zaun.

I get that the the point people are trying to make is that Jinx could have been fantastic if she was given the opportunities available in topside, which I absolutely agree, but we can say that without completely dismissing Viktor and Jayce’s work? Hextech is Jayce’s invention, and Viktor played a huge role in helping to stabilise it and utilise it, when Jinx got her hands on it the difficult part was already done, no wonder it only took her ten minutes.

My point is that yes, Jinx is a fantastic inventor, and she could have done fantastic things if she was given the right environment and opportunities, but Viktor and Jayce are also two people who were not expected to do much with their lives who earned the right to have credit for their inventions! Jinx utilising hextech so quickly is very impressive, but the stabilising was already done, and she stole some notes on how it worked when she stole the gem, the bulk of the work was already done and she did not have laws and safety protocols to follow when making her weapons.

I can go into more detail about this if anybody wants, please correct me if I’ve got something wrong! But from my understanding this take is just unfair and using the wrong example for Jinx’s fantastic skills.

[annie-creates]

I deserved it

Pairing: Agatha Harkness x reader

Genre: angst

Words: 1000

Note: This story is inspired by this amazing song so I'm very greateful to the person who used it for an Agatha edit. Please be aware there's a talk of scars in case it makes you uncomfortable.

When Agatha Harkness entered your apotheke on the outskirts of your town, you thought it must have been a mistake. She would never step into a mile radius of yours willingly. But she wasn’t alone, she had a young boy with her. A kid who was a little too excited to get on the path of death for your liking, but at the same time it intrigued you. It was clear Agatha herself didn’t really want to be here, but once he told you about the coven list, you understood she really didn’t have much of a choice. If she wanted to find the witch’s road, she needed a coven with you in it.

Against your better judgement, you came to the meeting point, other witches already gathering. Quite a weird group in your opinion, Agatha must have been desperate. You couldn’t fathom she’d choose any of them willingly. That’s how you got yourself into the shenanigans of trials and tests, each one crazier than the one before. You weren’t all exactly friendly with each other either, most of you having some old beef with Agatha. Which at least didn’t leave you alone in your reservations towards her.

In the chaos of the last trial Teen got hurt and you all rushed outside to tend to him in the calmer surroundings. Everyone seemed desperate to find something to help, but surprisingly most of all Agatha, who pushed Jen to come up with anything that would help. You stand by his side, calling to your healing powers your hands starting to glow.

„Don’t touch him!“ Agatha screams at you, the cruelty in her voice taking you back.

„Do you want him to live or not?“ You spit back after the initial shock, masking your hurt expression.

In the mean time Jennifer makes her makeshift potion, slowly healing his wound. You take a few steps back, still hurt by the refusal of your help. You watch as they take him to sleep, opting to help Lilia with setting up a campfire instead. She notices your sudden quietness but doesn’t comment on it. The day has been hard on all of you.

“He might get a scar from this one,” Alice comments as she and Jennifer return, leaving Agatha looking after the kid.

“I bet he’ll find it pretty cool,” you answer halfheartedly.

“Do you guys have any magical scars?” She asks, stirring up a friendly conversation. “You’ve already seen mine.”

“I have these from the bounds,” Jen admits showing her wrists with lines that were hardly visible now.

“Look at this,” Lilia shows the side of her neck. “It’s from a vampire… right before I knocked out his other tooth.”

That gets everyone laughing and you must chuckle a little. What a weird group, and yet you kinda did click together. Maybe the choosing wasn’t completely random after all. All covenless witches, renegades who didn’t fit into the society of the outside world. You hear Agatha’s steps before she sits down by the fire, an opportunity they can’t pass on.

“Do you have any battle scars Agatha?” Alice asks lightly.

“Check this out,” she unbuttons her sleeve rolling it up. “Knitting needle right to the elbow.”

“Wow,” Jennifer admires. “What about you Y/n?”

You slowly look up at her, being a little lost in your own thoughts to follow the conversation too closely. You debate yourself for a minute with a loud inhale and exhale, deciding to also share a little piece of your troubled past. So you open the first few buttons of your shirt. There, in the middle of your chest, lies a deep pink scar.

“Oh my god, where did you get that?” Jen asks surprised.

“Well… a long time ago, I had this… person. And I wasn’t able to protect someone very dear to them… so she promised to cut out my heart and never forgive me,” you admit, your eyes glossing over as you remember the painful memory.

“Wow that’s cruel,” Alice whispers taken back by your dark story.

“I guess I deserved it,” you shrug, suddenly feeling colder.

The other women shake their heads clearly disagreeing but it’s not their place to argue with you on your self-esteem and worth. Agatha stays quiet, remembering the day she almost cut your heart out for the loss of her son. Even now, decades later she couldn’t understand how you could fail the one time she really needed you, and it only strengthened her decision that she can’t trust anybody when it comes to important stuff.

You get up after a minute, too lost in your own mind to entertain the ladies. You walk through the forest, immediately missing the warmth of the fire. Were you a good person? Reliable? The people in your life now would surely say yes, the witches on the road didn’t know you enough to judge, and Agatha would definitely have a different opinion. So what’s the right answer? Could you even believe in yourself? If not, how could you ask others to?

Your mind travels back to earlier today when Agatha forbade you from helping, rather entrusting Teen’s life in the hands of a stranger than yours. Did she really think so little of you? That you’d hurt the kid? The answer came walking behind you, subtle rustling of leaves revealing her presence. With a spiteful feeling you think she came to make sure you didn’t poison the boy or something.

“You know, this road is like Switzerland…” Agatha waits for you to turn around and look at her. “So I won’t attack you here… If I don’t have to.”

“Oh what a relief…” you scoff, folding your hands over your chest.

“But don’t expect the same courtesy when we’re outta here,” she warns you. “I don’t want to have anything to do with you.”

“Wouldn’t imagine anything else,” you sigh.

“You were right you know?” she adds, already on her walk away from you. “You deserve much worse than just a scar.”

[ineedtherapydesperately]

I'M BACK ON MY SONG FIC PROMPT THINGO BULLSHIT 🫶

dear theodosia ella thoughts inspired by the idea @strugglingsapphic added to my crack hamilton post :D

the theodosia part is dedicated to chloe purely so ella sings "loOK aT mY sON" at chad. this is canon and I don't make the rules. ( @bigmilk-13 please make it a presidential decree or smth)

*father's name

but like ughhh chloe is ella's BABY, her little pumpkin, and ella will do ANYTHING to keep her from witnessing the horrors of the real world. every time chloe cries, ella can feel her heart break a little more. she'll make sure that her little chloe NEVER has to want for anything, that she NEVER has to experience the way ella grew up. and if chloe ends up a little too spoiled, a little too opinionated, well, that's okay—as long as she doesn't have to face a dark and lonely and cold world. as long as she has people around her who love her for who she is, who support her and who would never abandon her.

ella does it for chloe, maybe a little bit for herself, but also for bridget—bridget, her once bright star and first love, the one who grew cold and callous and jaded because she was betrayed one too many times, and it's all ella's fault goddamnit. but she can't change the past, so she'll make sure that history isn't repeated through her daughter. for bridget.

domestic life really never was ella's style, not with the way she grew up. she hates it, hates the false pretense of 'family', she hates the pain, the terror and the utter helplessness she was made to suffer through daily. but for chad, for chloe, ella is willing to put her reservations aside. she's willing to be as domestic as it gets, to be the mother she never had. and, well, if her thoughts sometimes stray to a younger bridget, crying in ella's arms after another harsh few days spent with the queen of hearts, well, nobody needs to know. but know this. ella vows to be a better mother than the ones she saw growing up.

and god, whenever ella sees chloe smile?? she falls apart, overwhelmed by the love and protectiveness she feels. this is who she's fighting for, this is who she's protecting from the world. this is her little girl, her baby, and she will always fight to protect that smile. ella thinks back on her younger self, so determined to avoid domesticity and family and commitment. she was so stupid, back then. she won't make the same mistakes again. she can't make the same mistakes again.

ella and chad feels 🫶

this is ella's firstborn, her first attempt at breaking the cycle. chad is ella's everything, her little prince, her baby boy. every time she looks at him, she can only feel an immense surge of pride—something stronger than pride, even. he's so charming, that chad, even as just a mere baby. every smile, every giggle, undoes ella and she's so, so enchanted with her baby.

she's going to give him everything she possibly can, all the opportunities she missed out on growing up. the friends, the food, the money, the material goods—anything and everything. chad will NEVER be left wanting for anything, he'll always be warm and well fed and have a place to sleep. ella vows this. and if he ends up growing up a bit too spoiled, like all the royalty she hated back in the merlin academy? ella ignores it, because he deserves the chance to just be normal and have a normal childhood, without the pressure of anything else. because chad is the crown prince, and ella has seen first hand what that pressure can do to someone. ella has seen just what happens when someone succumbs it, and she has seen the ramifications of not having someone to lean on when it happens. so ella makes sure that chad has a strong support system, because this is her damn son and she's going to make sure that history never repeats itself again.

daddy issues!! (no but fr a few days ago I very loudly whispered 'daddy issues' during the part in hamilton when he says 'don't call me son!' the silence was palpable and I'm still embarrassed bc it wasn't supposed to come out that loudly)

but wow, look at ella go, breaking the cycle once again! she'll always be there for her babies, because she grew up lost, with an absent father who was never there when she needed him the most. ella refuses to let this be reality for her children, and if she has to break into the council room to steal christopher from the meeting so that he can say goodnight to their babies and tuck them into bed with her, she fucking will. the council is used to it by now, and are no longer offended—it's hard to be, when christopher drops his charming demeanour and threatens the first and last person to complain about ella, at sword point. he leaves a small, barely noticeable but definitely present scar as a reminder.

and sometimes ella sits in on those very meetings as well, because she's determined to change the very foundation of cinderellasburg, to keep her children safe, to make sure that nobody else ever has to grow up like she did. and the council doesn't protest, which probably has nothing to do with the way christopher casually twirls a dagger between his fingers, eyeing each and every one of them with a pleasant smile and a threatening gleam in his eyes. and ella can't help but feel a bit bittersweet, because finally, she's changing the system, the way she and bridget had always dreamt about back in the merlin academy. but there is no bridget by her side, not anymore. and ella can't blame her for that.

chad and chloe are the new blood, the next generation. the united states of auradon has been around only slightly longer than they've been alive—it's literally a new nation, and they're the future leaders. ella will make sure that she hands down a good kingdom to them, and if she has to bleed for it, she doesn't care. if she has to die for it, so be it. cinderellasburg will uphold it's damn morals and convictions, even if it's the last thing she ever does. because her children, her little prince and her little pumpkin, deserve nothing less. she raises them to be good people, to have strong morals, to always, always, do good.

which is why ella refuses to kneel. she holds her head high, and accepts the face of death, staring the consequences of her mistakes and inaction in the eyes, and she does it for her children. for chad and chloe. for chloe and chad.

this accidentally turned too angsty but I just had to slip in some bridgella oops 🎀 doomed wlw you have my heart

this has been marinating in my drafts for several days now I have so many songs in my drafts but none of them are comprehensible so. they might get released in the future who knows

edit bc i forgot auradon prep didn't exist yet :D if you came from a repost mb g

[misseviehyde]

INSTITUTIONALIZED

Michael was smart - real smart. But he also knew that he lived in a society full of institutionalized racism that made it harder for a black kid like him to make it in the white world.

He wanted to go to University, but he knew he would be competing against a lot of spoiled white kids and his family didn't have enough money to support him through even the cheapest college.

True he could skip college and get straight to work but he didn't want to end up like his Uncle Luther who was a petty criminal and a bad role model.  Just this morning Luther had woken Michael up and demanded he hide a cache of guns in the house.  Michael was afraid of his uncle so he had obeyed.

It was whilst he was looking through the guns, wondering what he had gotten into and where to put them where his Mom wouldn't find them, that he came across a weird looking blaster.  It looked more like something from a science fiction film than a real gun so he found a serial number on the base and googled it on a black market page.

The info read - "The Costume gun. Stolen hi-tech weapon. Turns anyone fired at into an empty skin that can be worn to allow a person to adopt their identity. Highly dangerous experimental weapon. Can cause identity dysmorphia."

Michael was astonished. He checked a bit further and soon became convinced this was the real deal.  A gun that could let him take another persons identity was now in his possession.  A lot of things began to click in his mind. What if he used the gun to steal the life of a rich, privileged white person about to go to college?

It seemed evil to steal another life, but Michael was sick of being denied opportunities because of systematic racism. He could zap some dumb frat boy - study at university and then one day reverse the effect perhaps. He could work it out as he went along - he just knew he needed to get out of this life.

But where was he gonna find a frat boy?

He put the gun in his bag and went out for a walk to think it over.

It was whilst he was walking down an empty street that he saw Madison Laine - the richest bitch in the neighbourhood approaching. She was walking and talking on her mobile phone to her slutty friends whilst chewing gum. Her tight outfit left very little to the imagination - a tiny pair of daisy dukes and a tight pink boob tube.

She was the same age as Michael but they were definitely not in the same social circles. Madison went to an exclusive private school and her Daddy was a multi-millionaire oil magnate.  She was spoiled, beautiful and rich and already had a place at an Ivy League University.  He had read about her online - she was already a semi-famous instagrammer and aspiring model. Everyone in the area lusted after her in one way or another.

She was also a total bitch and as Michael approached the look of total disdain in her eyes made something in him snap. She giggled and a sneer appeared on her pretty lips. "Oh my gosh girls, I thought all black guys were fucking hot - but I just saw this TOTAL fucking nerd. What a LOSER."

Madison had quite the taste for black guys. She apparantly only fucked black cock and could be found out in the clubs cheating on her white boyfriend nearly every night. That would have turned a lot of black guys on - a perfect blonde snow bunny ready to give herself to superior men.

But Michael was sick of privileged sluts like this one treating black guys like they were either nothing, or simply big dicks to fetishize over. He walked past Madison in barely contained fury and she caught his expression and scowled.

"Hey you... you fucking nerd. How dare you like look at me like that. I'm your fucking superior and you better fucking show it."

Michael ground his teeth. "You're not my superior, you're just an over-privileged white girl that thinks she deserves all her Daddy's blood money."

"Hold on girls, I just need to deal with something," grinned Madison as she hung up. Advancing on Michael she jabbed him hard in the chest with a long acyrillic nail and giggled as he yelped in pain. "Haha, listen dork. All I have to do is make one call to the cops. 'Ohhhhh, help me help me.' Who knows what those racist fucks will do when they see me, the scared innocent white girl being pestered by you."

"You fucking bitch," snapped Michael and suddenly the gun was in his hands.

"What the fuck is that? A toy? Ohhhh this gets even better. They'll probably shoot you when they see you're 'armed'." Laughing Madison began to dial 911.

With a gasp of panic Michael pulled the trigger.

The gun whined and a pink ray leapt out and engulfed Madison. Her face turned suprised, then the beautiful slut moaned softly as her body deflated and in an instant she was just an empty skin lying on the pavement with a discarded handbag and phone next to it.

Michael felt a cold moment of panic - what the hell had he done that for?

He immediately considered flipping the reverse switch and transforming her back - but he knew full well Madison would call the cops. She wouldn't be grateful for him reversing the rays effects.

In a panic he reached down and gathered the skin. It was impossibly soft and her skin smelt amazing. Her hair was even nicer to touch and still felt warm. He stuffed the skin and all the skimpy clothes into his bag and ran home.

On the way, Michael imagined what would happen if a cop stopped him and searched him. How would he explain this situation. He felt more anger than ever.

Safe back home Michael laid Madison and her things on his bed. What was he going to do? If Madison didn't turn up, her bitchy friends and family would stop at nothing to track her down. They'd easily track her back to him and he'd be screwed. If he turned her back, she'd just call the cops on him. He had no choice... he was going to have to become Madison.

A shameful part of him was excited at the idea as he examined the tiny skin and all her girly clothes.

Michael stripped off and then picking up Madison, examined how to wear her. There was a slit down the back of the suit - so he opened it and slowly pushed his feet inside. The skin was soft and warm and his feet slid easily inside. It felt like the skin was eagerly welcoming him inside and clinging to him possessively.

It looked weird as his feet and legs slid in and Madison's skin overrode his. Not only were his legs now perfectly smooth and sexy - they were white. His feet were tiny now. Somehow the skin was making him smaller, fitting him inside. He wiggled his toes and gasped to see the ten perfectly pedicured toes wriggle with their white nails and toe rings.

"Hmmmm this feels pretty good," groaned Michael as he pulled the skin up to his waist. He thrust his cock deep inside the groin of the skin and snapped Madison's taut buttocks over his own. His cock tingled and then sensation vanished, instead replaced by Madison's pampered pink pussy - freshly waxed and shaven.

"Holy fuck I have a pussy now,"  grinned Michael sliding his fingers in and gasping as he felt them slide deep into his own velvety softness.  This was the real deal - the skin was reallt making him into a girl.

He quickly pulled the rest of it up, tugging Madison's big heavy boobs into place. They felt amazing on his body and it was weird to look down and see them hanging there - but also kind of nice. Each one was full and round. Rubbing the nipples felt good.

His whole body was tiny and curvy now. Entirely hairless. A bellybutton ring twinkled in his toned abdomen and washboard tummy.

His arms were now slender and lightly tanned, the fingers ending in slutty acryllic nails and ornamented with rings.

Only one thing was left to do.

With a tingle of excitement Michael slid his head inside Madison's beautiful face and shivered as he felt the slot on the back seal up and the suit tighten.

Blonde hair fastened to his scalp and his eyes rolled up as his voice box changed and he moaned in feminine pleasure as the suit completed transforming him into Madison.

A hot flush ran through him and his head tingled. A host of unfamiliar memories throbbed in his mind and he realised he was gaining all of Madison's knowledge and memories along with enough of her personality and mannerisms to pass safely as her. 

You naughty boy... how does it feel inside me. Good huh?

A voice seemed to whisper in Michael's head telling him he was someone else now. Someone better.

Yesssss Michael. You're a naughty white girl now - you're a slut and a bitch. Your Daddy is rich and you can be a spoiled little whore, every single day. This is what you wanted all along. You're Madison now!

Turning to the mirror the new Madison; giggled as she saw her reflection. A pretty bitch used to getting what she wanted, when she wanted it. It felt good to be Madison.

"Ohhhh fuck I feel like sooooo fucking naughty, mmmmmh I am sooooo hawt now." 

Michael smirked at how big his white titties were and how sexy his manicured nails felt. It was amazing to be this beautiful.

Yessss that's it. You're me now loser. You love being me.  Your mind is becoming my mind. Our thoughts and desires are as one. You are inside me and you never want to leave.

Muchael purred as he accepted these strange new thoughts. Whilst in the skin it was so easy to think, act and feel like a naughty bitch.  All thoughts of taking the skin off were burned away by Madison's intrinsic narcissism. Why would anyone NOT want to be her?

Michael knew inside he was still Michael; but right now Michael was enjoying being Madison too much to care. Taking control of Madison's white privilege was making him feel dizzy.

Eughhhh I have to get out of this dump and back to my mansion. I totally have plans to make and college is going to be so much fun now I'm an Alpha bitch.

Picking up Madison's phone Michael laughed delightedly as it unlocked via face recognition. Her life was his. He WAS Madison. He hadn't meant to use the gun on her, but he had and it was too late now.

"Yessss, as Madison I can have it all. I deserve to be the pampered spoiled brat who gets what she wants. Being a mean, white, brat is gonna be so much fun. No wait... what am I saying? I hate girls like Madison."

That's why you wanna be me so badly dweeb. You lust to have my white privilege and get it all. You can't fight me Michael, you're already under my control. Give yourself to me and take your place as the new Madison.

Lying on his bed Michael began to helplessly play with his new body. He was being overwhelmed by Madison's bratty personality, he was becoming her.

You are ME loser.

Michael/Madison opened her eyes and giggled. Of course she was her. Who else would she be?

Her personality now in flux she was about to play with herself some more when she suddenly heard a creak downstairs and her heart skipped a beat. Who the fuck could that be?

The answer came as the door opened and Luther suddenly walked in. He was back to collect his guns, but he gawped and looked amazed as he beheld the gorgeous white girl in his dweeby nephews room. "Hey gorgeous who the fuck are you?"

Michael was usually scared of Luther but now he was Madison, he felt different. In fact Madison felt turned on by this situation. She had never noticed how big and strong Luther was.  She bet he had a big dick too.

"Ohhhh hey, you must be Luther.  I'm Michael's friend from school Madison. In fact we're like actually we're fuck buddies. Mmmmh you see, I can't get enough of black guys you see - I love a big black cock, it's what I live for. Michael is totally average but he's still superior to some white loser."

Michael was amazed at the slutty trash coming out of his mouth - but the Madison part of him was just turned on by it. She felt her pussy get wet as Luther looked at her appraisingly and he unzipped his fly slowly.

"You little white slut - you think my nerdy Nephew is a good fuck, you should come suck on a real mans cock."

"Mmmmh like ummm okay," giggled Madison without hesitation as Luther's massive black dick flopped out and she hungrily advanced.

Michael found his mouth salivating. He couldn't control himself. He was a horny white size queen now and he needed big cock. He couldn't control his new body as Madison's instincts took control.

Meanwhile Luther groaned happily as Madison lowered herself to her knees and slid her hot wet mouth around his dick.

He had no idea his dweeby Nephew had such great taste.

Licking and stroking Luther's cock - worshiping it in delight - Madison giggled as it got bigger and bigger for her. She knew this was twisted and wrong - potentially incestuous even if Luther was a distant 'uncle', but in this skin she wasn't Luther's Nephew anymore - she was a spoiled size queen who loved a big black dick and Luther was all hers. The sense of power - of knowing Luther wanted and needed her mouth and pussy so bad was intoxicating.

Madison got to work sucking and slurping on the monster cock before her.  She had memories of sucking lots of cock - but this was actually the biggest she had ever had and of course in reality - for Michael this was his first. The skin gave him the muscle memory and skills of a practiced college cheerleader - Madison had learned to suck cock years ago and she loved to swallow cum.

Luther moaned in pleasure. This bitch was amazing. "Yesssss that's it baby. White sluts like you live to suck black dick. Work that tongue baby, suck it real good."

Yesss Michael. You really wanna know how it feels to be a slut and be me, hurry up and get that cock inside you. This monster is all yours and it's going to feel so good stretching your tight young pussy out. You're such a bad girl and you love it. At college there will be even more cock to ride. I know you can't wait. You're Madison now so enjoy it!

"Yessss I love being Madison, oooohbh I need you to fuck me Luther - I want your cock so bad," whined Madison as she finished slurping and looked at him endearingly. The voice in her head made her want to do such deliciously nasty things. "Please fuck my pussy." 

Luther bent Madison over and slapped her ass hard. She moaned and pushed her back up - presenting her tight pussy to her lover as he growled in appreciation and slowly pushed his massive cock inside Madison's super tight teenage pussy

"Ohhhhh fuck yes -  ohhhh its so big!" moaned Madison in joy as Luther began to slide in and out of her soaking pussy and thrust harder and harder into her.  It felt so good and her huge tits jiggled as he fucked the shit out of her.

Being a white slut feels good doesn't it?  You love being me.

Luther pounded Madison and she squealed as she orgasmed over his dick. Then he picked her up and fucked her even deeper till she came again.

Madison's pussy juices were dripping down lubricating his cock and making him slide so deep into her perfect pussy and fucking her felt so good. Luther couldn't take much more of this insatiable slut. She was a sex machine.

"Shit baby - I'm gonna cum," he grunted.

"Yessss do it all over my face; I want all that cum,"  begged Madison. Luther was happy to oblige and she squealed in delight as he unloaded all over her pretty face. Thick globs of warm cum erupted over her lips and her chin, dripping down onto her large firm tits.

With cum dripping over his outer body and making him feel like such a delicious whore - inside the skin Michael had accepted that this was his new life now. 

Being Madison felt amazing. The devious slut wondered whether there was even a way to make Luther appear responsible for Michael's inevitable disappearance in a few days.  Maybe she could engineer something after all she had Luther hooked now. 

"Damn girl that pussy is fine. Are you in town all summer?"

"Yeah; till I go to college. We can fuck again if you like baby?"

Luther grinned. He was all for more but he had no idea the horny slut in front of him was already planning to make it look like he killed Michael in a fit of jealousy and her Daddy's lawyers would make mincemeat out of this idiot and keep the story out of the papers. Money and white privillege always won in the end.

"Ooohhh and in the meantime we can fuck that big dick and cum all night.  Hehe we're so bad."

Michael had become exactly the sort of white privileged manipulative bitch he had always despised. As Madison he would go to University, join a sorority ride a lot of dick and party. It was gonna be fun.  Michael was now Madison and he had definitely been institutionalized.

She was gonna use the system to get what she wanted and spend her days filled with big black dick. Fetish or no fetish she was an evil blonde whore and college was going to be a blast.

THE END

[phoukanamedpookie]

Unpopular opinion: Azula is not delusional.

Something I've noticed a lot when I come across analysis about Azula as a character is that people often presume that because Azula is "crazy," her worldview has no rational basis. People talk about her thoughts and feelings as if they are purely a result of her personal dysfunction and have no basis in her experience of the world.

But that flat-out ignores or overlooks what Azula actually says when she lets her guard down a teensy bit.

For instance, her inability to open up to people is often portrayed as an obsession with not seeming weak. But on the show, she never says anything to that effect. That's more like Ozai's thing*. When Azula's confronting her habit of using fear to control people, her rationale is not about strength and weakness. What she actually says is, "Trust is for fools! Fear is the only reliable way."

Azula is exceptionally smart and perceptive. I keep repeating this, but it often gets overlooked when people talk about her worldview. Azula is acutely aware that she uses fear to control people, and she's acutely aware of why she does it. Everything in her world—everything that she can see, hear, and touch—tells her that she cannot trust anyone, that they will abandon and/or betray her when given the opportunity. The only way to keep them from doing that is to make them too scared to even think about abandoning or betraying her. And it works! It works splendidly for Ozai, and it worked for her too until it didn't.

Tragically, life has proven Azula right many times. Everyone she cares about or opens herself up to leaves her or stabs her in the back. How do you prevent that? Making people too terrified to even consider it. She's not delusional for believing this. She'd be delusional to ignore it.

Azula is wrong about some really important things but she's not dumb. This is, I believe, what would make healing or rehabilitating her so challenging: everything she's experienced in her short life has proven to her that she has no reason to trust anyone.

How do you get through to somebody like that? Megatons of patience, care, and gentleness. There is no magic bullet. There is no shortcut. The people who can do this would have to be extremely motivated or a bodhisattva. The main thing that would prevent someone from getting through to Azula is not that she's too far gone to change, but that the vast majority of people don't have what it takes.

*Seriously, this is a man who gloats to the fucking Avatar about having "all the power in the world." This is the same guy who taunts a preteen survivor of a genocide about how he and his people are too weak to deserve to live. This dude is fixated on seeming and being all-powerful. Zuko pisses him off because the boy can't hide having a will of his own, and Ozai can't control that, which jeopardizes the all-powerful image he projects to the world.

[4ngeldusstt]

K A K A S H I H A T A K E headcanons

A/N: some cute things i came up with i wanted to write some kakashi my man deserves some attention too

Warnings: none

Wordcount: 727

♡ He knows you’re part of the ANBU, he was notified by Tsunade herself (even though he isn’t a part of it anymore) but everyone knows he is trust worthy and she thought it was something he deserved to know.

♡ He is very worried about you when you have a mission, usually he is told when something is going on in the village so when every once in a while you are sent to a very important and/or dangerous mission you must know he isn’t gonna have not a single minute of sleep until he knows you made it back safely.

♡ If it happens that you are sent alone to a mission just know he for a fact is gonna follow you, he is very cautious and is very good at hiding his presence to avoid being noticed, he does think you are more than capable of protecting yourself, don’t get him wrong, but he still does it mainly for his own mental sake.

♡ He is so so proud of you, when he has the pleasure to see you in action he can’t help but stare at you in awe, almost drooling as you take down opponents without breaking a sweat. Kakashi defenitelly thinks you are the most badass person he’s ever met and adores when other people praise or recognise your strength and your exceptional abilities.

(I must add he loves to brag about you and praise you when he has de opportunity, to the point his friends have to shut him up cause he can go on and on and doesn’t know when to stop, can you blame him though? Everyone has to know how amazing and beautiful you are, duh.)

♡ The combination of you being cute and gentle and the complete definition of a sweetheart to everyone but also in the other hand being capable of being ruthless and a overly skilled shinobi?? drives him i n s a n e, he just can't get enough of you!

♡ He loves when you call him nicknames, everyone calls him kakashi, sensei amongst others but you are the one that he allows to refere to him as anything else his favourites are kashi or baby, it makes him feel so special and gets pouty if you use his full name.

(You also make up weird ass names for him, for example: “my little baby prince”, “my angel king of my soul”, “baby veggie dumpling”, “prettiest shinobi of the land”, “my perfect angel baby” and so on, they make him laugh and in fact he adores them, its become a thing between you two, he honestly looks forward to what you come up with each time.)

♡ When he finally has you home after a long time away, (even more than a couple days is long enough for him) he has a delicious meal already prepared, a warm bath ready for you and some of your favorite flowers sitting pretty in a vase with a little present next to it, a small detail to make you smile, like a ‘welcome home’ present. There’s nothing in the world that he loves more than taking care of you, knowing himself how tiring ANBU missions can be, after a long mission he wants you to just get home and not have to do anything, and i mean anything, if you need something, even the smallest thing, you can be sure that he will do it for you.

♡ If you love books just like him, that’s something yall bond about, making it a tradition that on sundays you have a chill day where both of you only lounge in the couch/bed and read, just enjoying each other’s company and after that reading session he takes you to the village restaurant to eat dinner and comment/talk about what happened in the book.

You both for sure gift each other books all the time, if a new icha-icha book comes out oh boy, you are the first get your hands on it so your man can read it without having to wait. And the same for you, he has his ways to get the books you love even before they launch officially, it brings him genuine happiness to see how excited you get and how your eyes shine when you have a new story to devour.

<3 Overall he is just the perfect boyfriend, get yourself a Kakashi <3

[adaines-furious-feast]

They were good kids

This post, but as a fic

None of the kids were in his class. Jace had no idea how they ended up in his classroom so often, but he wasn’t going to kick them out. This was a safe space. It was rare that he had to ask any of them to settle down. He knew some kids thought he was a pushover and maybe he was, but all Jace asked was that they keep the volume down so any other students could also use the space. 

But mostly they sat in the beanbag corner, Ruben watching over Mary Ann’s shoulder as she played some game, Oisin with his nose deep in his spellbook and Ivy doodling. He was a little worried about Lucy. She seemed very… sad. He thought it might have something to do with her divinity and he’d been meaning to speak to Yolanda about it, but he’d never gotten round to it. 

And Kipperlilly… Well, she was definitely driven.

They were good kids.

Jace didn’t know when exactly he’d started noticing a difference. It was sometime early in their sophomore year. They seemed more stressed, more tired. Jace would go into his classroom in the morning to find them already there, huddled around and whispering conspiratorially. On more than one occasion, he’d walked in on an argument which quickly dissipated as soon as he entered.

A few weeks before spring break, he walked into something so fierce they didn’t notice someone else was in the room.

Kipperlilly was standing on her chair, angry tears in her eyes. Lucy sat next to her, rubbing soothing circles into her back and preparing to stop her if she launched herself at Ivy.

“He’s a weirdo, Kipperlilly,” Ivy said. “He doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

“He is helping us,” Kipperlilly argued. “We are a great adventuring party and if we were just given the same opportunities as the Bad Kids then-”

Ivy, Oisin and Ruben groaned.

“Why would we want the same opportunities as them?” Ivy asked.

“They spent most of last year in prison,” Ruben pointed out.

“They killed my grandma’s boy toy,” Oisin said.

“Because we’re better than them!” Kipperlilly cried. “I’m a better rogue than Riz goddamn Gukgak. Lucy’s a better cleric than Kristen Applebees. Fig Faeth doesn’t even go to class.”

“I don’t think it’s a competition, Kip,” Lucy said gently.

“But it is!” They’re getting opportunities we should be getting. And Porter is helping us get what we deserve.”

The hairs on Jace’s arms stood on end. Porter Cliffbreaker. He’d seen Porter talking with Lucy and Kipperlilly in the corridor a few times. He’d never thought much of it. Kipperlilly always looked excited. Lucy was a little less comfortable but Lucy often looked uncomfortable in her own skin. Jace wouldn’t be surprised to hear he was the person behind the arguments. The gods knew he caused enough of them in the staff room.

“I don’t want opportunities. I have enough to study,” Oisin said.

“Why even come to this school then?” Kipperlilly snapped. “You’re ruining things for the rest of us.”

Mary Ann looked up from her Crystal Boy, spotting Jace in the doorway. “Hi Jace.”

The rest of the High 5 Heroes span around. Lucy looked like a rabbit caught in the headlights. Ruben, Ivy and Oisin looked nervous too but Kipperlilly was just angry. No, raging.

“Hi guys. Everything alright?” Jace said, trying to sound as if he hadn’t been listening.

Lucy looked like she was about to speak when the bell rang for the first period. Oisin vanished in a magical flash. Kipperlilly disappeared by non-magical means. The rest of the group tried to rush out, but Jace caught Lucy before she could go.

“Yolanda will understand,” Jace said. “Lucy, is there something wrong.”

Lucy looked down at the floor, trying to make herself smaller than she was. “It’s nothing. Kip’s just upset. We’re good.”

“Upset about Porter.”

“Not Porter, the others.”

“Lucy, is Porter making you guys do things?” Jace asked. He thought back to last year, when Kalvaxus had used students - one of his students - for his own goals. He didn’t know how he’d missed it before, but he was not going to let it happen again.

“He’s not… making us,” Lucy said, obviously choosing his words carefully. “He’s just encouraging us. But he gets really upset when we don’t do what he suggests. Kip thinks he’s helping. Maybe he’s trying. I don’t know.”

Jace nodded. Sure. Helping.

“Lucy, you know you can tell me anything.”

“I know Jace,” Lucy said with a sad smile.

“Ok,” Jace tried not to look as panicked as he felt. He didn’t want to stress the poor kid out even more. “I am going to talk to Porter. He shouldn’t be putting this much pressure on you guys. He might not even know he’s doing it. We’ll get this sorted out, ok?”

“You don’t need to,” Lucy tried.

“But do you want me to?” Jace asked.

Lucy didn’t reply, still looking down at her shoes. 

“This is my job, it’s not a problem,” Jace said. “Someone’s got to look out for you kids, and the gods know it’s not going to be Arthur Aguefort.”

Lucy gave a small laugh. “Ok, thank you. I should get going.”

She left, heading in the direction of the cleric department. Jace leaned against the door, mentally preparing himself for the conversation he was going to have to have. They were good kids. He was going to sort this out.

[battlemaiden13]

You don't understand. I've been thinking about this exact same scenario! I've been imagining a scenario where maybe one or two people slip MC a magic drink that makes it so you can't lie. No one realized that a few others gave her the same drink until Grim mentions it. I like to think he I'd loving the drama and decided to see how far it would go. I'm picturing the culprits who slipped her the honesty drink are Black, Damien, Mikey, and Lutenant. So after the 4th drink, MC is drunk and the honesty effects stack, maybe for the whole night. I see Grim mentioning to Lo that the others slipped her the drink and Lo then lectures the whole party. Once it's out that MC can’t lie for the rest of the night, all the skeletons start approaching her one on one to ask her their question. 

I don't have questions in mind for all of them, but I do have a few. Also, no worries if you don't use any of these, I'm just having fun sharing. 

Sorry this is so long.

So here is what I've got;

Red: definitely gonna ask MC if she finds him attractive/would she ever consider going out with someone like him. (Cause he still doesn't 100% believe her when she says she finds him attractive) (our boy needs reassurance) 

Edge: Asks her if she has forgiven him for how he acted when they were first getting to know each other (I like to think that deep down, he regrets being so harsh to her at first) (this could also give them a nice heart to heart moment)

Black: Is gonna ask if she hates him. (Mother fucker will not believe her unless he knows she can't lie) (maybe he slips her some magic monster drink that makes it so she can't lie just so he can ask her this)

Orange: he will straight up ask her if she is interested in any of them. (This man has been getting so jelly lately and he needs to know) (This would give MC an opportunity to be vulnerable with him. I picture him being the first skele that she opens up to about not knowing what she wants and being afraid to fuck things up) (she is drunk so her filter is just gone)

Blue: asks her what her opinion of him is. (I see him being very laid back in the way he asks. Blue is very confident for the most part, but wants to make sure MC doesn't view him as immature or kid-like. He doesn't want her to think of him as “baby” blue)

Colt: gonna ask why she fought so hard to get to him. Why she put her life on the line to save him and why she stayed by his side when he was in a coma. (On one hand he is so in love with her and the fact that his fucking HERO came to Save him, but there is this nagging voice in the back of his head that is telling him he doesn't deserve to be with her) (maybe her answer will give him the push to finally jump the gun and ask her out)

Charm or Lust: Asks MC what her opinion on a poly relationship would be with the skeletons. (Maybe they start off talking about Lo's new poly relationship and the convo goes from there)(I feel like either of them would be the best ones to help MC warm up to the idea)

Mint: asks MC why she does….everything that she does. Why help monsters. Why work so hard to be close to so many Skeletons. Why put herself in danger to for even one of them, much less so many. (Mint doesn't understand. He has been assuming MC has some sinister motive since he met her. Mint wouldn't go out of his way to help the humans in his world, why is she doing all of this without getting anything in return. (I picture Mint going around throughout the day and just listening to people talk about MC. Looking for proof that he is right about her, bit all he hears are stories about MC helping monsters and getting hurt or putting her life at risk. Grillby mentioned how she got her arm broken defending him. Colt bragging about MC infiltrating an enemy base to save him. Hobbs talking about her work to help monsters find jobs. The stabbing. So when he learns that she can't lie. You bet he asks her, because how can she be this nice. This good. It can't be true. She has to be hiding something.) (This could finally be what gets him to start trusting her. Just like Black, he needs to know she can't lie for him to start believing her.)

And that's all I got. Sorry this was so long. I had fun writing this down. 

THIS WAS VERY HELPFUL THANK YOU!

[team7-headquarter]

A funny detail of Teams 7 in the Classic is that people always forget that Sakura did praise Naruto from day 1, she just thought she shouldn't verbalize it because then she'll be perceived as a loser/dumb kid like him.

She did like the prank on Kakashi and she got excited when he attacked Kakashi with his clones. The appeal of her character is not that she didn't like Naruto before because he was different, it's that Sakura was too similar to Naruto and she repressed who she was in fear of getting isolated and bullied because she knew it'd happen.

It happened to her before.

Her parents probably pointed at Naruto and told her not to be like that.

Sakura is literally the version of Naruto that backed down and lowered her head so as not to be erased. That's what "inner" represents, the desire to not be socially punished, to be accepted and liked and regarded with praise, to be approved by others. It is also why Ino and Naruto bring out "inner" / the real Sakura the most. Ino is the one who's encourage her the most to be herself, she's that one friend who defended Sakura from her bullies and told her not to hide and be proud of herself and bloom. Their rivalry is founded on Sakura wanting to be Ino's equal and not just the kid she protects, she wants the envy of the girl she admires the most, like she wants the love of the boy she admires the most. Naruto is different because with him, Sakura learns to be bold. Whatever traits she hides, Naruto displays them like a weapon and it works! He forces people to look at him whenever they look away, he forces people to acknowledge his existence even if they want to ignore him.

Sakura is ruled by fear. She has everything to lose yet, unlike Sasuke or Naruto. She cannot afford to make the same mistakes, she can't give her all without thinking about how she can mess it up in a second. She hasn't really experience death or pain, the weight of her own ambitious weights her down, holds her back, paralyzes her.

She pretends she's wiser than the boys and loves to patronize them. She asks superior 'cause she is that insecure. She hides behind theoric knowledge and the safety of childish desires. And yet, she knows her limits: she tells Sasuke and Naruto they are only kids, she recognizes danger for what it is and she knows when something surpasses their own reach/skills.

So when Naruto jumps to action, when he acts freely and without fear, she admires him as much as she's jealous of it. That's what her little "he doesn't have parents, he knows no boundaries" speech means. She reflects her own self-doubt on him, talks him down to feel a bit more in control, but in the end, she knows it. She knows what she's doing wrong and she knows it's not fair and she knows that Naruto deserves better.

That's why, during the Chuning Exams, she screams at Sasuke that Naruto can be very flawed, but at least he's not a coward. He's her inspiration. She knows she's always at the back, getting saved, she's too emotional and scared to dive in the shinobi world and she's too naive. She spent years running from the consequence of her decisions, so when the time came she was weak, of no help. She could only bite her opponents to distract them from hurting her friends. Could only shakily hold a kunai against Gaara. Had to threat Sasuke with screaming because she wouldn't possibly stop him. Had to rely on Naruto to go bring him back. Doomed herself to the sidelines, played childish games, won childish prizes.

Her three big moments of the Classic explain it better: cuts her hair and promises that she will make up for the wasted time and the lost opportunities; fights Ino and shows that now she's a kunoichi, having found her courage to the point that the rest recognizes the change in her; and finally realizes she again put all the weight on Naruto and apologizes for it, promising that next time she'll go with him.

Sakura whole arc is about fear and shame and how she overcomes it, blooming into her real potential. She always found Naruto that amazing, she thought his pranks were funny and that he could be pretty smart and cool, but only in the end she found the bravery to openly show it.

It's like-- to accept Naruto, she had to accept the parts of herself that she didn't like that much. He inspired her to say "fuck what the others think of me, my friends need me".

[longbobmckenzie]

Choose Me - Roberto/MC

Summary:

Roberto just wants this Stick or Twist ceremony to be over so he can leave the villa, like he should have done the night his girl was dumped. But sometimes, things have a way of working themselves out…

Rating: Teen

Words: 2,440

Read on AO3

(or read under the cut!)

Roberto runs a hand over his weary face as he takes his seat on the bench around the fire pit. The glow of the flickering flames should give him a sense of warmth, but he’s been cold ever since a few nights earlier, when he watched his girl walk out of the villa.

Andi.

God, he was an idiot not to walk out right then and there. But the boys convinced him to give it a day or two first, to make sure his feelings were real. After all, they’ve only known each other a couple weeks, and they live in different countries, for chrissakes. He would be crazy to chase after her, wouldn’t he? Things on the outside aren’t the same as things in the villa, or so the boys said. But being without her only confirmed what he’s known all along, since the night he first laid eyes on her — she’s the one for him.

But then the girls were swept off to Casa Amor, and a new set of girls came in. The guys encouraged him to get to know them, but it didn’t feel right. None of it did. The villa lost its lustre when Andi left. Even the neon beanbag chairs and cheeky sayings posted around the place seemed to have dulled overnight. But he could hardly leave the show in the middle of Casa Amor, without saying a proper goodbye to the original girls. They’re his friends too, and Bella in particular would never forgive him if he walked before she could give him another sock in the arm or ruffle his hair.

The corners of his lips tip up just a little at the thought of that blue-haired firecracker. The two of them became fast friends, and he can’t wait to see her again. There’s never been anything romantic between them and never will be, but his Love Island experience wouldn’t be the same without her.

He just hopes she found someone in Casa Amor. He’s banking on it, actually — because if she couples up, then he’ll be single. And if he’s single, then… well, maybe, hopefully, he’ll be dumped. Either way, he’s planning to leave at the first opportunity to go find his girl, but he wants to make sure Bella’s taken care of first. He doesn’t want to risk leaving her vulnerable.

Finally, the host walks in and does her spiel, and the ceremony begins. Ozzy is the first to rise to his feet, and it comes as no surprise when he says he’s sticking with Grace. Roberto shakes his head in annoyance, making a tutting sound. It’s no secret that Ozzy had a thing for Andi, and now without her in the picture, he’s falling back on Grace, knowing how much the girl is obsessed with him. But as much as Grace has been wilfully blind to all of it, Roberto can’t help but think she deserves better. She might be coupled up with him, but she’s clearly Ozzy’s second choice.

Grace comes in alone and flings herself into his arms, and Roberto rolls his eyes as he pretends to clap along. There’s a brief moment when some doofus from Casa Amor storms in and yells at Grace about something or other, but security is quick to drag him back into the villa, leaving Grace flustered and embarrassed and Ozzy confused and not a little like he’s been made to look like a mug.

Fuckin’ deserves it.

Then Lewie gets up and makes a speech about going with the flow, which causes a few titters and giggles around the fire pit as a blue-eyed blonde steps forward from the row of Casa girls. The two of them are a perfect match, and they’ll have perfect blonde, blue-eyed babies.

And then Roberto thinks he’s dreaming, because that’s Andi walking towards him, on the arm of—wait, no. He gives his head a shake and looks at her again. The woman walking in may share the same face as his girl, but she wears her hair a little longer and wavier, her nose isn’t pierced, and her lips have a way of twisting into an ugly smirk that Andi isn’t capable of. It’s Amelia, her twin.

He lifts a curious eyebrow as he takes in the man she’s with, barely stifling the bubble of laughter that almost courses out of him. Of course Amelia would couple up with the carbon copy of Ozzy, although this guy has longer hair, a beard, and a few tattoos peeking out from under his clothing. And judging by the look on Ozzy’s face, he’s not so happy to see his dear brother. Which tracks, considering he never even told the guys that his brother is actually his twin.

The two of them exchange a few tense words before Amelia leads Marshall to an open space on the opposite side of the bench, throwing a jealous look in Flo’s direction.

And then it’s Roberto’s turn.

He wipes the moisture from his palms and takes a deep breath as he rises to his feet, gazing around at all the familiar faces. This isn’t his goodbye speech, not quite yet, but it’s still the final time he’s going to be doing one of these recouplings. He might actually miss it.

The host gives him a nod, and he clears his throat. “As you all know, the last few days have been… well.” He throws a sheepish look towards Ivy and the other two girls who were sent in to tempt them, whose names he never even bothered to learn, giving them an apologetic smile. “My mind and my heart have both been elsewhere, so I’ve been pretty poor company. I’m usually a lot of fun, I promise.”

There’s a chorus of muffled laughter around the fire pit.

“Although I’m technically coupled up with Bella—” A hard glance towards Elliot makes the other man flush “—there’s been another girl on my mind, and these last few days have given me all the clarity I need to go after what I want. I hope Bella found someone while she was away, but I have to do what’s right for myself, and that’s to stick.”

The host smiles softly. “Alright, let’s see what Bella decided to do.”

All eyes turn towards the villa. Roberto doesn’t know why his heart is pounding, but it is, until finally his partner appears — holding hands with someone else.

He lets out a sigh of relief, and a wide smile crosses his face. When she catches his eye, she beams at him, as if she’s as happy to see that he’s standing there alone as he is to see that she’s twisted to someone new.

When they reach the fire pit, she stands next to the host, but all she can look at is him, her eyes sparkling with joy and excitement — and a hint of mischievousness. He knows that look well, the look that says that she knows something he doesn’t. But what could it possibly mean?

The host asks her a few questions, and Roberto learns that the new guy’s name is Andy — which makes him chuckle a little even as a pang goes through him at the reminder of his Andi. He seems nice, and he’s looking at Bella like she hung the moon, so Roberto couldn’t be happier for her. They come over and he gives Bella one of his biggest hugs, Andy a firm handshake, and then they all sit down together.

“Turns out we both have a thing for Andis,” he whispers to Bella, making her giggle as Elliot stands up. “I’m so happy you found someone.”

“I’m so happy you didn’t,” she replies, that twinkle reappearing in her eye, though it’s replaced by a flash of worry as her mouth quivers. “I almost didn’t switch, you know. To keep you safe.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. I… Bella, you know there’s no one else for me. If I can’t have Andi, then I don’t mind getting dumped.”

The worry disappears, the sparkle beaming even brighter, and she covers his hand with one of hers, giving it a squeeze as they both turn to watch Ivy cross the fire pit towards Elliot, looking like the cat who’s caught the canary.

Bella sighs. “I knew he’d switch.”

Roberto shrugs. “He kinda had to, didn’t he? Andi’s gone, so he’s single.”

She looks like she’s about to say something, only to quickly snap her mouth shut. He narrows his eyes, wondering why she’s acting funny.

The host starts speaking again, and he’s fully expecting her to end the proceedings and say her goodbyes, but what she says instead stops him in his tracks.

“Before I let you all go, I have one more surprise for you.” She looks at Elliot, then at Roberto, before turning to look towards the villa.

Roberto is bewildered. What’s going on? The rest of the boys are just as confused as he is, but the girls are all beaming at him. But what for? His palms begin to sweat, his heart pounding faster in his chest, and then he hears them.

Footsteps.

His breath catches in his throat as his eyes lock onto the space where the other girls have appeared. Is it another new Islander? Already? Or is it—

Andi. His Andi.

There she is, like a dream he doesn’t want to wake up from. Her eyes meet his and they light up bright, filling the villa with vibrant colour again. The air whooshes out of his lungs, and he’s on his feet, his knees wobbling beneath him.

But then his vision blurs, starting at the edges, and his heart squeezes in his chest. Of course, she’s just a mirage. This isn’t real; none of it is. He’s sleeping, and any moment now he’ll wake up to find himself on the daybeds, having napped the afternoon away. And then he’ll have to do it all over again, going through the motions of getting ready for the evening and then watching everyone recouple while he wishes he’d walked out days earlier.

“Roberto.”

It even sounds just like her. Warm hands cup his cheeks, which he realizes are wet with his tears. A soft, gentle laugh that makes him squeeze his eyes shut, wanting to return to those blissful moments with her.

“Roberto, it’s me.”

He’s scared to open his eyes, but he does it anyway, and she’s standing in front of him, tears streaking down her own face, but she’s smiling. God, he loves her smile, and he can’t help but mirror it.

“Pinch me.”

Instead, she presses her lips to his, salty tears mixing with the sweet strawberry flavour of the lip gloss she always wears, and he crumbles. His arms slide around her waist, just as much to give himself something to lean on as to bring her closer to him.

“Is it really you?” He can still scarcely believe it, but she tastes and feels so real.

Andi nods, her eyes glowing with the happiness that he feels. “C’mon,” she says, threading her fingers through his and leading him to the bench, where Bella and Andy scooch over to make room.

The host is talking again, but Roberto doesn’t catch a word. He’s too busy staring at Andi, unable to believe his luck. She’s back. He has no idea what she’s doing there, but she’s back.

She squeezes his hand, and he snaps to attention. “She just asked us something, hun.”

He looks back over at the host. “Sorry, could you repeat…?”

The host smiles. “I have a feeling I already know the answer to this, but… as you and Andi are both single, you now have the option to couple up with each other, or to stay single and vulnerable.”

“Fuck yes!” he exclaims with a fist pump, before turning to Andi and smashing his lips against hers. She lets out a squeal before melting into it, wrapping her arms around him.

The ceremony ends, the host leaves, and one by one, the other couples wander off to do their own thing, leaving Roberto and Andi to themselves.

“How are you here?” he asks breathlessly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear and letting his hand linger. He can’t stop touching her, he hasn’t stopped touching her since she walked in.

“I wasn’t actually dumped. I was sent to Casa Amor early.”

“What?”

“I know! It was so dumb. Supposedly I got the most votes, not the least.”

Roberto smiles, his heart swelling with pride for his girl. “That tracks. Not that I’m happy about you being in Casa Amor with four new boys all to yourself.”

“It was a waste of a plot twist, really,” Andi replies with a shrug. “The guys were nice enough, but none of them were you.”

“Phew.” He wipes his forehead, laughing. “I might’ve been in trouble if they were.”

She laughs, and his heartbeat quickens. Oh, how he’s missed that sound.

“You had to know Elliot would switch, though, right? He thought you were gone. You knew you’d be left single.”

“Bella was worried about leaving you single too, but I encouraged her to switch. She deserves a romantic couple, and Andy is great.”

“He seems nice.”

“He is! But we figured, well… If Elliot left me single, and Bella left you single, then at least we’d be single together.”

“Or dumped,” he points out.

“Apparently not.�� Her thumb brushes over his skin where their hands are still laced together. “I can’t believe we got to couple up.”

“I would have left for you, you know. I was ready to pack my bags tonight if I needed to.”

“Well, thankfully you don’t need to.”

“Would that have been so bad? Getting dumped?” he asks. “I would leave right now with you by my side, if it meant never getting separated again.”

She gives him a soft smile, her eyes full of tenderness. “I won’t let that happen again.”

“We still could, you know. Leave. I already know I have everything I want.” He gives her hand a squeeze for emphasis. “I don’t need the rest of it.”

Andi shakes her head. “We can’t leave.”

“Why not? Wherever you go, I’ll follow.”

The corner of her mouth turns up into a smirk, and she gazes across the villa before turning back to him, leaning in to whisper in his ear.

“We can’t let Amelia win.”

Roberto’s head tilts back as he laughs. All his doubts immediately vanish — he’s not dreaming. This is real. This girl who he’s grown to know and—yes—even love is really back.

[irontragedyreview]

One of those manga that I consider deserves an anime adaptation is Ao No Flag/Blue Flag. It’s short but above all I like how it touches on issues related to sexual orientation. Touma and Taichi’s story is tender but above it’s builds little by little, in the same way that the relationship between Taichi and Futaba is also beautiful and it doesn’t feel that she is the beard or  the middle of Taichi and Toma love.

Taichi learns and changes with Futaba and they push each other to improve, Taichi with Futaba learns to get out of his comfort zone, which had been one of the reasons why he and Touma had drifted apart, Taichi stops hanging out with Touma because he believes that they are in different social circles in high school, even when Touma tried to get closer but there is only so much he can do. His friendship with Futaba and subsequent love relationship doesn't feel bad because it’s built in a way that develops a relationship between two people who begin to enjoy each other's company, but above all who are there to support each other in overcoming their fears, even if in the end they end up with different people.

However, I feel that the end of the manga feels rushed in presenting you with certain events, both Touma and Taichi's relationship, and Masumi's revelation as bisexual. I would like to focus on Masumi more than any other character because honestly a cliché part of my heart was hoping that Futaba and her would end up together, especially because of the level of devotion that Masumi had towards her. Also in the end when  I saw her  married to a man, it left a bad taste in my mouth because she had settled for the easier life that represented hiding her sexuality. Of course, this doesn’t really happen, from the few words we see from Masumi's husband we can understand that he’s aware that Masumi likes both men and women and it doesn’t make him jealous or insecure because he trusts Masumi and her choice to be with him. In my blog there is a post (not mine) talking about this topic. At the beginning I also saw Masumi's marriage as her deciding to stay in the closet, especially because throughout the story the way she describes her feelings for Futaba and how she had tried to go out with boys but without feeling right. All this leads us to think that Masumi is a lesbian, which is why I would have liked one chapter before the ending with a broader development of her sexuality. Although, I want to say this I consider that knowing her bisexuality feels rushed but I don't feel that it’s wrong or queerbating because I can find myself in Masumi, I don't feel that it’s wrong to show that we’re still not completely clear about our sexuality while we’re teens, as a bisexual woman I remember going through a process to accept that I liked men and women. It was a big "I can't be a lesbian because I like guys" but it was also "I'm not straight because I like women too”, getting to a point where both thoughts coexisted and didn’t repel each other took me a while, especially because at the time I didn’t know the word bisexuality. I think that despite everything, Masumi is a good character to feel identified in the discovery of her sexuality because I can understand how her crush with Futaba canceled the possibility of perhaps feeling something romantic or even sexual towards others,  it makes sense that her feelings for Futaba occupy a space that perhaps didn’t allow her to fully explore other relationships to fully understand other aspects of her. That's why I think that once her crush with Futaba ended and had the opportunity to meet other people, she was able to discover herself.

[thornpixie]

Rewatching xo Kitty knowing the outcome, and I'm more convinced than ever that Dae deserved far better

Be warned, it’s a long one

That boy went through so fucking much. He TRIED to tell Kitty what was going on. He really tried.

He only got involved in the fake relationship thing with Yuri because he was at risk of being kicked out of school. His girlfriend lived on the other side of the world, as far as he knew, and the relationship with Yuri wasn't real. He is a teenage boy; he probably thought no one would get hurt. Yes, he was wrong to presume that. This isn’t a ‘Dae is perfect’ post. He isn’t. That’s what makes him so likeable to me. But he said himself - he only agreed it with Yuri four hours before he saw Kitty at the welcome party. He was completely blindsided by her, and STILL one of the first things he said to her was 'I need to tell you something'. HE TRIED TO TELL HER! But Yuri cut in. He cared about Kitty, but this was his future, and I completely understand why he went along with it. Given the chance to explain - which Yuri promised him he could do the following day - he knew Kitty enough to know she would understand. But he couldn't risk his future. One night wasn't worth getting kicked out of school for. Kitty completely blindsided him showing up out of the blue, and he was put on the spot. But this was his life. His education. His entire future.

It sucks that Kitty got hurt, but she was the one who flew across the world without telling him. Dae had to do what was best for him and his family, which was accepting Yuri's financial aid. Even after that, he tried to explain to her again. She refused to talk to him. And I get it, I really do. Again, these characters are teenagers and acting emotionally. Kitty was understandably furious and hurt. But Dae did not get the opportunity to explain then either. He tried again the next day, but there were bigger, far more powerful people involved, pulling the strings and manipulating him. This isn’t a grown man who should know better. This is a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD BOY! He is going through a lot. His mom has recently died. His family is brassic. His sister is being bullied, made worse by the fact her shoes are falling apart so everyone knows the family is poor, and you could see how upset Dae was that he couldn't help by getting her new shoes. He is at risk of getting kicked out of school because he can't afford the tuition. It seems obvious to me that his father is not coping well, and Dae is forced to step up and be there for his sister. At the same time, he is trying to be there for Kitty who, yes, has lost her mom, but she has no idea of the other struggles Dae faces. Should he have respected her enough to confide in her about his family situation? Probably. But I understand him making bad decisions as a teenager.

So someone comes along and offers to make all that stress go away. They're going to pay some of his school fees! And all he has to do is pretend to be in a relationship with them. Who wouldn't accept that offer? Then he is told to sign an NDA. Again, he is sixteen. He hasn't got a lawyer who can explain the implications to him. All he knows is he is getting a job and a salary and security for his family out of this deal where he just has to pretend to date a girl. The reality of it doesn't hit him until Yuri reminds him that he cannot tell Kitty about anything because now he has signed an NDA and will be sued. Everything he has been offered, all the great things for his family, are at risk of disappearing if he tells Kitty the truth. And at first he's going to do it anyway. He loves this girl, he trusts her, and he would do it to be with her... until Kitty herself proves she can't be trusted. She spilled the secret about Min Ho. At that point, he does the right thing for everyone involved. He literally cannot be with Kitty and tell her the truth without potentially getting himself SUED. He might love her, but they are teenagers. No high school romance is worth that risk, I don't care what anyone says. So he ends the relationship rather than string her along. And you can see it kills him to do it (big up Minyeong Choi's acting), but it is best for everyone involved. And tbf, he has little choice. His dad could lose his job too, and that is not worth it. It's just not. He doesn't have the luxury of acting out against his parents, like Yuri, and knowing she'll still never have to worry about a thing. He doesn't have the luxury of being able to do whatever the hell he wants, like Min Ho. He has a loving and supportive family unit in his father and sister, but everything they have is at risk. And he can fix it. He can make their lives easier by breaking his own heart. It is a selfless thing that he does.

I don't blame Kitty for her reactions. Again, she is a teenager, and she has an amazing family, a supportive step mom, financial security... ultimately, Kitty is a little spoiled by that. It's understandable. But she creates a lot of problems for herself with her lack of life experience. She needs to grow up a little bit, realise she doesn't know and understand everything, and give people a chance.

Min Ho was never really Dae's friend. He is a spoiled brat. He missed hanging out with him so he decides to throw his toys out the pram and be a jerk, just to have Dae back? That’s not teenager behaviour, that’s toddler behaviour. Okay, is he sweet to Kitty at times? Undoubtedly. I think he genuinely does grow to care about her. It doesn't make him any less of an asshole though. He could see how much his supposed 'best friend' was hurting, and he actively stirred the pot between him and Kitty, for his own agenda. Calling Yuri to tell her about the outdoors club. Insisting that Kitty was flirting with him. Pushing the 'Portland stalker' narrative. Telling Professor Lee about the dorm situation. Trying to make her get mad at Dae again when the truth came out and they got back together. GOING BEHIND HIS 'BEST FRIENDS' BACK AND TELLING THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE THAT HE WAS ALSO IN LOVE WITH HER AND BEING HAPPY SHE BROKE UP WITH HIM. He is an awful friend to Dae. And I'm not saying Dae is perfect, and there are definitely things he could have done better. But Min Ho is a spoiled, pretentious asshole who really doesn't care about anyone but himself and I hope Kitty doesn't develop feelings for him in return. He is used to getting everything he ever wanted, with no consequences (none that he cared about, anyway) and it’s boring. Kitty has shown zero romantic interest in him. Long may that continue.

Ultimately, Q is the only true friend that Dae has. I hope they will maintain that in season 2 by having him come clean about Florian. Otherwise, everything Dae has gone through for his family will be for nothing because he loses his room and board scholarship. I think Q has a strong sense of right and wrong, and a good moral compass, so regardless of his feelings for Florian, he will do the right thing. At least, I truly hope so.

Kitty and Dae need some time apart. They met when they were like twelve? And have been online dating ever since. They’ve never looked at anyone but each other romantically, and their entire being has been tied to this person who they couldn’t physically be with. That takes a toll. They need time apart to figure themselves out. Kitty, to explore her sexuality, and Dae to just get his life back on track. I truly believe that, in time, they could grow back together. I don’t think they can survive without each other. They’re too interwoven.

Anyway, a parting thought - JUSTICE. FOR. DAE.

[swallowedbyfandom]

Dearest Penelope,

You have broken me. I doubt that your intention, but the result is the same. You are a cruel woman Penelope Featherington. You allowed me the privilege of knowing what it is to be loved by you, only to take it back. You allowed me to believe I could someday call you my wife. Only to dash my hopes and dreams against the floor. It is perhaps not fair to lay all the blame at your feet. However, you gave up on us. You gave up on me.

Did you enjoy watching grovel and weep? Did it bring you satisfaction to turn me away? Do you enjoy turning my family against me? I am so blindly angry with you.

You have made a fool of me. Your mama has turned me into the laughing stock of the Ton. Do you believe it to be justice? Do you laugh about me with your new suitor? Do you love him?

My mother just gave me the letter you left for me. She said you hoped it would provide me with closure. Are you soft in the head? In what world would losing you ever bring me closure? I want to marry you! I want to sire your children! Nothing less will ever bring give me closure.

You are not Penelope of Ithaca any longer. I am. I will spend eternity waiting for you to return to me. My love may have been slow to realize but it is not fickle.

Even if Cressida Cowper miraculously managed to make society believe I compromised her. I would have stood before the Queen and the church to renounce her and her lies. Scandal be damned. I would accept exile before I accept a marriage to anyone but you.

I am not the man I believed I was. I am not the man I want to be. I am not a man worthy of you. I know this now. I am in love you. You loved me too soon and I loved you too late. Yet, how am I to live without you? Why did you not try harder to make me see you?

I want to be proud of the woman you have become but I am jealous. It shames me but it is true. I am jealous of your success. I am jealous of your courage. I am jealous that you understand me better than I will ever understand myself.

I have spoken ill of you. I have judged you harshly in my despair. I have dishonored us both, I know this in my soul. Forgive me anyway. Allow me the opportunity to mend your hurts. We have not come this far, only to come this far. I beg of you, have mercy on me.

I never meant to hurt you. I have but you have hurt me also. Can we not put this matter behind us? I have not paid you the regard and the attentions you deserve. I can. If you only just allow me one last chance. I swear on my father's soul, I will do better. I will be better. This does not have to be our ending. I will not survive it. Not whole. I will become an empty shell without your guiding light. I want your sharp bards and your gentle guidance. I want to lose myself in your embrace. I want to earn the loyalty you have always shown me.

Even now in the stronghold of my anger, I am in love with you. Choose me and I will spend my life choosing you. I know I have given you reasons to doubt me. But you must know it has only ever been you. Even if I was too simple to see it. Lady Crane, those women on the continent, the working girls from earlier this season meant nothing. They were the desperate attempts of a boy trying to prove his manhood. They were meaningless. If I could take it back I would.

How can I ever come to love myself, if you remain lost to me? I have always been yours. I have made a terrible showing of it but it is immutable. You may wish for me to find happiness but I will not happen. I cannot be happy without you. Do you understand? I will never be free of you. Nor do I wish to be.

Yours always,

Colin Bridgerton

He tries to send the letter. However none of the Bridgerton staff is willing to risk their job to deliver it. They are under strict orders from Anthony. His newly trained Bloomsbury staff are no match for the sheer determination the Featherington staff show in keeping him from contacting Pen. He even tried to pass it directly to Pen at a ball but Lord Samadani guards her well.

His siblings escort him everywhere to avoid the Cowper's entrapment ploy. Even after they succeed in running Cressida out of town and getting Lady Cowper banned from leaving her estate, they remain ever by his side. Mother claims it is to protect him from scrupulous Misses who may try the same ploy. He knows the truth in his heart. They are keeping him away from Pen. They will not relent until she is married off.

He attends Fran's wedding with a heart filled with grief and bitterness. He is happy for his sister. Fran has found love with a man perfectly suited to her but it hurts him to celebrate her love when he has lost his own.

[elliewiltarwyn]

What was it like for Mia going back to Garlemald and seeing it in the state it’s in? And I think she’s friends with Jullus, if I’m remembering correctly. if so, what was it like for her to see him again?

hooooh my god Ube do you know how many words I've written about this precise subject. it is literally the second-longest document in the scrivener project.

maybe one day i'll actually post that part of the fic lmfao. but for now i can rant about what's in it i guess, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to :D

TL;DR: SHE DOESN'T HAVE A GREAT TIME

The whole core of Mia's personal story is realizing the evils of the imperialist, colonialist ways of her country, how she benefited from that as a citizen and how her family actively contributes to it, and how she gets the fuck out of dodge and figures out how to fight back against it. Something she didn't expect, though, is how distancing herself from where she used to live figuratively and literally let her somewhat dehumanize where she came from. It was very easy for her to convince herself once she was out that Garlemald deserved anything she brought to bear against it as a Warrior of Light, that it deserved whatever wounds the Alliance would inflict whenever it managed to fight back. It was a little easy for her to forget that she grew up next to a nice guy named Jullus and helped him babysit his siblings and had a Totally Normal Childhood Friendship with him (...albeit one built on the luxuries that can only be secured by an empire bent on conquest).

(I would like to confirm that I put together her backstory - her father being Aulus mal Asina, her growing up basically smack in the middle of the capital - before Endwalker actually came out and confirmed there literally was a district where loyal R&D engineers were awarded estates smack in the middle of the capital, and that there's a boy roughly Mia's age who lived there. If I didn't know better I'd say Jullus was hand-crafted and served to me on a silver platter to be the "childhood best friend" that helped me put the rest of that backstory together. :V)

When the contingent starts forming and all the people in charge keep affirming "we're not going in as invaders, these people are victims," it sort of slaps her across the face how much she's forgotten she grew up among real people with real depth to their lives, and seeing what the Telophoroi have done to other civilizations, she suddenly feels sort of... hollow. When they get to Garlemald and look out at the ruined capital beneath the Tower of Babil, she gets a twisting sensation in her stomach and she starts feeling sick. Her initial thought is "I wanted Garlemald to fall, but not like this" - and then she feels even worse for wishing a fate like this on people she knew. She starts having to reckon with having dehumanized Garlemald's citizenry, the bas's and cen's and aan's and even many of those above who still held no real power in their military dictatorship, as much as Garlemald decried Eorzean peoples as "savage."

Because if she had stayed, how likely is it that she would act any different from the Garleans that now hurl curses and wish death upon the Ilsabard contingent and the Warriors of Light? Not very. That's proven very decisively when her childhood best friend suddenly turns up.

When they find Jullus, she grows even more bitter, because she had started to cling to a little hope that maybe he had the same realizations she did, or maybe that he did so even better - that he didn't forget his own humanity. She's certain he had it in him, knowing how kind he was from growing up together. Finding that he's deep in the nationalistic sauce makes her feel even more wretched.

She wants to genuinely help the people she grew up with, but that's clashing with how lost in that sauce they all are. She bites her tongue when Jullus lashes out at her and calls her viator (<-oh look a small amount of foreshadowing for Zenos later being so branded :V). She doesn't rise to Quintus's bait. She just keeps moving forward, doing whatever the Ist Legion demands of the Eorzean envoys, and jumps headlong into the pool where once upon a time she and Jullus watched his siblings splash around in order to pull out the ceruleum heater. She doesn't expect Jullus to change his spots, thinking him as ruined as the city they're in the middle of...but then he starts to. That little hope starts flickering within her again, and it would make her so happy to see it realized. She doesn't miss her parents - she's long since written them off as inextricable parts of the Garlean war machine, and long since reckoned with killing her father in particular. But if her old best friend can come around...

But he continues to carry out Quintus's orders. His thumb wavers above the trigger that would seriously injure the twins that she thinks of as little siblings. She fixes him with a cold glare as he marches her and Ellie back to Camp Broken Glass. When they learn what happened to his family, she demands to know whether their sacrifice was worth Garlemald's pride. He punches her in response - Ellie has to pull them apart.

She sees her friend careening towards the precipice, and she doesn't know if she can stop him. And then the legion loses their bargaining chip, and he orders the ambush on the contingent - and she lunges at him and wrestles him to the ground. She can't take this anymore. She could easily write him - and Garlemald - off here. His neck is within her grasp. But instead she practically screams into his ear that "you're better than this!" And the force of those words put a halt to the ambush, and she goes on, furiously blaming the imperial ideals that brought them here - "those ideals don't give a damn about you and you deserve better!" That's the realization she had so many years ago, and she tries with all her might to impress it upon the friend she knew and loved.

Everything else kinda plays out as usual from the MSQ: Lucia gives Quintus the Xth Legion's message, and Quintus releases the Ist from their duty. But on the fringes of the camp, having all this thrown in his face is too much for Jullus and Mia.

And Ellie awkwardly comforts them both as best she can as they sink into each other and weep for everything they've lost - though there might be the small hope that, with things the way they are now, they might be able to start patching that friendship back together.

[luckyricochet]

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2

Read on AO3

Eilidh learns how terrible the night can be.

A/N: Cèlidh (KAY-lee) - A traditional Scottish or Irish social gathering usually involving dancing and Gaelic music

Eilidh Hamilton’s Diary

Mum and Dad say I need to keep on looking after Granny. They both asked if they could take different shifts now that the attacks are at night, but they’re both needed during the day. I expected as much, so it wasn’t so surprising when they told me but it seems like I won’t be getting much time to myself for the foreseeable future. It’s not as if I was getting much of that in St Andrews, but…I’m not sure how to express what I feel. Maybe because I don’t have any opportunity to actually work it out, all my time it seems is focused on Granny. And maybe instead of writing here in this diary I could think instead, but even that time wouldn’t be enough. I need more.

I keep telling myself everyone has to make sacrifices in war but I can’t help but complain anyway. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do anything anymore, except be by myself. I know it’s a selfish, horrible thought. Mum, Dad, and Granny deserve so much better than me, and I don’t want to give it to them.

I keep hoping one day I’ll wake up and I won’t be such a bitter pill and all of this will go away. But that only happens after some time. And like I said, I don’t have much of it right now.

A hand on her shoulder. Soft, but with a little pressure. Eilidh frowned in her sleep and then turned over, rolling the hand off of her. She opened her eyes and saw in the dimness the shape of her mother, dressed and carrying a bag.

“I’m sorry to wake you so early,” she whispered. “But we’re leaving now, so it’ll be you and Granny until we get back.”

“When?” Eilidh groaned, still half-asleep.

“We’ll try to be back before eight tonight,” her mother answered. “If anything happens, we’ll telephone.”

“Is Granny up?”

Eilidh’s mother glanced out into the hall. “Not yet.”

Eilidh forced herself awake enough to catch a glimpse of her clock. She probably had another hour of rest before she would have to rise.

“Well, okay,” she muttered. “I’ll see you later, then.”

Footsteps padded softly out of the room, followed by a shuttering of the door. London was awake even though it was still early, with the cars passing on the streets and a newspaper boy hawking the headlines on the corner. Eilidh pulled her blanket higher, trying to enjoy the warmth of her bed for as long as she could. When she finally sat up to change, she didn’t feel like she had taken advantage of the extra time.

As refreshed as she could be, Eilidh stopped outside her brother’s room. He hadn’t spent much time here, as she recalled. If he wasn’t at school, he was on the street playing football or riding his bike. He wasn’t someone content to stay at home.

She knocked. “Granny? Do you need help getting dressed?”

Some muffled noises answered her. “No, I don’t think so…”

A minute later, the door opened. Eilidh’s mouth fell open slightly. Her grandmother stood before her, not wearing the type of sensible dress and hose that she normally donned, but Will’s slacks, a woolen jumper, and church jacket. Everything was too large her but also too frumpy to all be layered atop of each other, rendering Granny some bizarre model for Will's school uniform and a Sunday service at the same time.

“Granny, these aren’t your clothes,” Eilidh said. “Do you have your luggage in there? Why don’t you take those off and we’ll pick something that fits you.” She gently pushed Granny back into the room. “What about this?” She pulled out a blue dress, cardigan, and stockings from the suitcase that was at the foot of the bed.

“Hmm…” Her grandmother appraised the outfit Eilidh proposed, skeptical.

“You love this dress,” Eilidh said. “We can’t go out with you dressed in boys’ clothes, can we?”

“Boys’ clothes?”

“Yes. Boys’ clothes,” Eilidh said firmly. She began to take the mismatched garments off. “Don’t these feel more comfortable?” She wrangled her grandmother into her own clothes and then let out a breath. “Isn’t that better?”

Her grandmother examined her arms, like she had never seen what she was now wearing. “I supposed it does.” She laughed a little, as if she was surprised with herself.

Eilidh almost joined her, and then the memory of last night returned. Her smiled faded. “Granny, I’m sorry I was sharp with you yesterday evening.”

Her grandmother also stopped smiling, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“When we arrived, I got frustrated with you. I’m sorry. It wasn’t right for me to yell. It wasn’t your fault.”

A moment passed, while Eilidh wondered if Granny actually remembered what had happened. She shrugged, and then pointed at her, somewhat devilishly. “That’s that temper of yours, isn’t it?”

Eilidh looked down sheepishly. “Yeah, it is. Should we go on a walk?”

“Walk” was a generous label for what they really engaged in, just a brief constitutional down the end of the road and back. But there was plenty out there to keep both Eilidh and her grandmother stimulated, even at the slow pace in which they moved. Blooming flowers, sounds of the street, people to watch, the feeling of the sun. The world continued on. And it had been so many years since Eilidh had appreciated this area, she took her time to take it all in before they returned back to the house—which felt decidedly empty when Eilidh closed and locked the door again.

As the days wore on, Eilidh soon realized that her thought about the empty house was not to be an anomaly. Her parents left for the hospital early in the morning, and didn’t come back usually until after Eilidh had made dinner. In between then, Eilidh wandered the halls of her childhood home, mulling how it no longer seemed as comforting as it once had.

She saw pictures of herself and Will on the mantle and bookshelves. His shoes were still by the door, his coat on the rack. Even in the bathroom, his razor sat unused in the cabinet, his toothbrush in the cup on the sink. He had been buried now for a week but everything about the house seemed to indicate he would come walking through the door any minute, alive and well. Eilidh couldn’t help thinking that he would whenever she heard footsteps.

As different as the house now felt, though, it was still her home. Eilidh made an effort to notice the things that reminded her of this fact. The sheets were still a little scratchy like they had been when she was little. One of the legs of the dining room table sported a few scratches from where Eilidh and Will had dug the tines of a fork over the wood in a moment of foolhardy childishness. Things that her parents could have changed or fixed over the years, and didn’t. Constants that Eilidh now saw as signs that this was indeed her home, and not just another house in London.

She tired to vary her days with other activities she could take advantage of with her grandmother. All of her art supplies from her school days were still here, so Eilidh dug them out of the drawer and they painted for a few afternoons. Eilidh peeked over at Granny’s paper every once in a while, impressed to see that even in its somewhat garbled state, her grandmother’s vase of daffodils was a better attempt than her own botched depiction of the Swilcan Bridge on the Old Course. When they grew tired of painting, they went into the yard and tended to the small garden in which her parents had begun to grow vegetables. They turned on the radio and and danced to whatever was playing, one of Granny’s favorite pastimes from the old days; she had always been able to last the longest at a cèilidh. Glenn Miller wasn’t exactly the same, but it filled the void at least. Anything to keep Granny occupied.

If she wasn’t occupied, her grandmother asked a lot of questions. Why they were in London? Because of Will. Then where was he? Underground, he was killed. When they could leave? Not for a long time. Where were her parents? At the hospital. Would they be attacked? I don’t know.

Within a few days of her arrival, Eilidh’s father had showed her the bomb shelter in the yard. It had been added when Eilidh had been in Scotland, so she never saw how it had been installed—a metal shed-like structure with a domed roof, tucked into four feet of earth. Inside were rough wooden bunks, torches, canned food, bottles of water, and other essential items her parents had stockpiled away. Once Eilidh saw it, she immediately made sure to put some things that would appeal to herself and Granny in it, but it was still a depressing sight. If there was one place where a person could get bored and restless, it would have been in there. She fervently prayed the Germans would soon grow bored of dropping bombs on them. 

The high-pitched whine of the air raid siren woke Eilidh with a start. Her disorientation only lasted a minute, though; the sound was unmistakable. “Mum? Dad?” she shouted from her room, struggling to find her coat and shoes in the dark. She abandoned them hopelessly and wrapped herself in a quilt instead.

Her parents were already out of their bed, waking up Granny in the next room. “Mum, we’ve got to go, now!” her father was saying, urging her out of bed and into a jacket. But Granny moved slowly on the best of days and now, with the loud commotion of the bombs and the siren, was obstinate.

“You’re mad, James—you want to go outside—in this?!” she argued. The sentence came out in pieces, barely audible above the din. “I’m staying here.”

Outside, the bombs fell. BOOM. BOOM. The windows trembled from their impact. Flashes of yellow light crept through the curtains that had been drawn for the blackout, illuminating the room with fire for a second. In the brief moment when she could see, Eilidh noted the unmistakable worry in her parents’ faces.

“Mum, this whole house might be flattened!” Eilidh’s father shot back. “Now come on, we’re going! The shelter is right in the back—” As he spoke, the house shuddered violently. Eilidh crouched down instinctively, glancing up at the ceiling with terror, which was now sprinkling dust on them from the force of the blast. She glanced back at her parents and grandmother, biting her lip until it bled so she didn’t panic. Granny wasn’t going to be moving any time soon; they all knew it.

“Eilidh, get to the shelter,” her mother muttered to her.

“But—”

“We’ll be right behind you, now go!” Eilidh’s mother glared at her so fiercely Eilidh acquiesced without further argument, tripping over her own feet in her haste to fly down the stairs and into the garden.

Even the short sprint from the door to the shelter was exhilarating—the world seemed to be collapsing around her. In the open air, Eilidh felt every bomb dropped through her entire body. They shook the ground she ran on and electrified the air she breathed, sparking her insides with energy and making the hair on back of her neck stand up. The RAF was doing its job and anti-aircraft weaponry answered each Luftwaffe plane with a blast of flak, but it did little to calm the adrenaline that pumped through Eilidh’s blood, so galvanizing that she hardly acknowledged the pricks of pain on the soles of her socked feet from the gravel path leading to the shelter. She kept her eyes trained on it coming closer and closer, not daring to peek to the sky even for a second. She threw the door open finally after fumbling with the latch, ducking and scrambling inside. She turned around, hoping, expecting, to see her parents and grandmother close behind like her mother had promised.

But the yard was empty.

Eilidh froze in disbelief—Surely they couldn’t still be inside?—and then collected herself enough to climb halfway out of the shelter, alarmed. It was dark and she had to strain her eyes between the intermittent flashes of light, but there was no one coming toward her in the gloom, and it was impossible to try and see what was going on through the windows with the blinds shut. Eilidh knelt on the steps of the shelter, half-exposed, her mind racing. What to do. What to do!? As far as she knew, her parents were still in the house, trying to convince Granny to leave its safety and brave the outdoors to reach the shelter. They’ll never convince her, Eilidh thought wildly, She’s as stubborn as a mule, she won’t go, not unless they drag her out kicking and screaming—

Some manic force nearly took over Eilidh then, imagining the scene inside. I’ve got to go help them, she thought. Of course she won’t go with them, but me—I’ve been the one with her all these years, I’m the one who’s been taking care of her—She forced herself to do what she had been too scared to do a minute before and looked up, watching the shadowed aircraft and clouds of smoke in the sky, a futile attempt to guess when would be safest when she knew in reality it was all up to chance, but she readied her feet anyway, steeled her mind—

NOW—!

And the world exploded. The sky seemed to split and a deafening CRACK ripped from the tear in the air, accompanied by a blinding flare somewhere not far from the front of the house. Eilidh cowered and felt herself being thrown by the blazing hot force of a shell back into the shelter. She landed haphazardly on the hard floor but ignored the bruise she felt on her shoulder, and, for a moment, the thought of her family that had just gripped her a moment earlier, scrambling to cover her head and make herself as small as possible. The roof shook and the air was filled with the screaming siren, whirring engines, deep ack ack bursts, noise Eilidh was dimly amazed to register at all now that her ears were ringing so loudly her head ached. She pressed her arms against them and held her eyes shut tight, trying to block the sounds out and not see the fire, but when she tried to ignore the present, her mind drifted, to the past, to Will. Is this the last thing he had heard, the last thing he had felt? The thought tormented her, and she contorted herself into a ball, wishing she was anywhere but here and that her memories were anything but what they were.

[myristicisms]

There is something so strange about how swiftly a wondrous opportunity can fall into lunacy, two years was all it took to go from a young lady with a bright future to feeling helpless, miserable and constantly afraid. Fear was something she had come to know all too well, cycling through her system alongside grief while she's forced to carry out orders because she was such a promising assistant that could truly make it big with her dedication if only she shut up and listened, if only she used her brain more than her heart and thought with logic rather than feelings. That's what she'd been told by the man in the glasses, his rat-like features contorting with grating laughter after each demand, each insult thrown towards her. It wasn't the constant belittling though that left her trembling each day, rather the ache in her heart to see so many suffering and being able to do nothing about it; Children, elderly, there was no discrimination in the pain that was inflicted upon the residents within the labs and yet no matter how she pleaded to treat them as the people they were, her grief was only ever mocked.

Miriam isn't shocked one bit when a metallic tang invades her senses, heavy footsteps swiftly approaching the blonde teenager before barking a demand at her. Clean-up, tend to the subject. It cackles, her heart drops into her stomach but she knows there's nothing she can say nor do to convince the man otherwise and even then, whoever was just tested on deserved gentle hands tending to their wounds, not clumsy fingers digging into already sore and irritated flesh. She sees the blood tainting his gloved fingers, once pristine coat stained in crimson and Miriam knows it's bound to be a mess, a disaster of a scene that will be added amongst the many other scenes carved into her memory. ( I'll be okay, I have to be okay. ) It's a silent mantra, one that she never fully believed but it was enough, it had to be enough to continue onwards as best she can even with the heavy guilt that ate away at the pallid teenager.

Her journey to the lab is long and tedious, many researchers glancing to her knowingly and none offering any warning for the sight she's bound to walk into and yet despite how insistent she had been to herself she would be fine, that nothing could be nearly that bad, she has to force herself from emptying what little she had eaten the night before at the strong scent of blood, at the child sat in the center of the crimson stained room and the way his flesh melded back together unnaturally. Tears sting hot upon her eyes, threatening to spill over as she fights her body's urge to retch and cautiously approaches him; He's familiar, one of the children she's tended to many times for shots and injections and basic check ups because that work was far too tedious for the older scientists, they were too good for mere nurse work and yet she never minded much.

“ Weiss... ” Soft and grief filled, her voice barely manages to break past her lips whilst Miriam slowly approaches the crimson covered boy with trembling legs. Teeth burrow deep into her cheek, senses being flooded with the salty taste of her own blood while she fights to remain stoic, struggles to force a gentle smile upon her features once she's knelt in front of the child. “ I... I'm here to clean you up, can... Can I do that? ”

@sleeplesswork | Weiss the Immaculate ;;

it's always the same; each and every day blends into the last, marring the young boy's concept of time. he'd never spent so long without nero since his brother was born, and something about that simple fact felt worse than the hands prodding at his insides; hurt more than the way a scalpel doesn't even try to be delicate as it cuts its way through pallid skin. he's conscious the entire time, whatever drugs the scientists had administered do nothing but take away his ability to move. weiss reminds himself of a bug pinned beneath a glass frame; he'd seen the picture in a book one of the scientists had given to him to pass the time. the only difference between himself and that creature was that whoever posed and pinned it was benevolent enough to kill the thing. the scientists examined weiss's organs to see if there were any differences between himself and humans — he thought about how the bug's wings were spread wide, ready to fly off of the books' page at any moment — there was nothing remarkable about the boy's organs, so they ran blood tests, again nothing. weiss wondered what it would take to kill a bug. would it be the same as slaughtering monsters, or easier because of its small size ?

as his skin forced itself back together, and his heart pounded within his ears, weiss's thoughts came to a halt when the head scientists declared they wouldn't get anywhere at this rate. the room was a mess after a week's worth of dissections, so they'd send in someone to clean up weiss and take him back to his cell, then the room would be sterilised, and they could resume. that was good; whatever was left of the boy's consciousness decided, he'd be able to see nero now.