#she bought all my fav foods and snacks and got me a cake

[imakle]

hated my birthday so much before meeting my best friend

[cloveroctobers]

ROBERT “BOBBY” MCKENZIE —

IG info/bio : @/returnofdamckenzie | 426k followers | @/mclitgs2 is my forever boo🤟🏽😍 while @/cardib is my WIFE! She just doesn’t know it yet ❤️ support my work & be part of my family: @/bobbymckcares

24 (25) years young

Born in Dundee, raised in Glasgow, Scotland

Jamaican father named Badrick who is a African studies professor

Caucasian/Scottish mother named Catriona who used to be a au pair but now works as a receptionist in senior living — one eye is honey hazel and the other a dark brown

It was difficult growing up in a school that didn’t accept Bobby being biracial, it resulted in bullying to the point where he needed to switch schools (A lawsuit was also in place) The next school was slightly better but Bobby slowly learned to accept himself as it was not something he could control and not something he would want to in the first place. He was proud of where he came from and never thought he was better or less than anyone else, that wasn’t how he was raised

He’s an only child, his parents thought about adopting (and fostering) but with Bobby they had their hands full and he was just enough for them

His family is very family-oriented so he would never have to feel lonely since they gave him a lot of attention, slightly making him spoiled but he was also around his cousins & spending time with them as well

He’s extremely close to his younger cousin (only by a few months) Femi who he views as his sister. They’ve been through a lot together and are always there for each other so it only makes sense

Most likely an active kid always up to some sort of shenanigans whether it’s by himself or with his group of friends, “why would you do that Bobby?” “Don’t ask why but ask, why not!?”

Definitely suffered some broken bones, concussions, & sprain injuries but would never show signs of pain...guys got a high pain tolerance that’s for sure

Fan of films/series “stand by me” & “the goonies” & “scooby doo” since he feels they relate to his life??

Hospital caterer and loves making those feel better with food that he’s created. If he can’t put a smile on patients face with words then he feels like he can show them with food

Food is an art to him. He went to school for culinary & it’s very important for him to show how much it is to him. He picked up the craft from of course his family, who always used food for numerous of things: to bring people together is one of them

Perfected Jerk haggis, it is now he favorite dish next to desert & breakfast!

I’m struggling to figure out what sign he maybe? He’s very playful which may come off as childish at times, which makes me think of Leo? (Maybe Gemini?) Only because they usually hold onto their childhood as best as they can, very generous, & give their energy to you but I also don’t see him being a fire sign at all? So maybe very little Leo in his chart. I also feel like he might be a bit of an empath? He knows when situations around him don’t feel right, knows how to read the room, and always wants to help others by lighting things up.

Idk but I’m feeling he’s libra sun + Gemini moon + Leo rising? Who knows

Probably lived in a 2 bed flat with his old uni mate. It was small and a bit shit but it was their shit and they made the best of it

Now lives in a stone cottage or farmhouse with MC that was built in the 1900’s & is slightly haunted. He’s decided to call them Duncan??? But he believes they’re a good spirit, maybe even a friendly ghost!? since he got comfortable with the bizarre happenings in the new flat & it doesn’t seem like they want to hurt them

Lottie offered to bring her ouija board next time she visited—Bobby declined

House is mostly neutral based but three of the rooms in the flat are covered in ridiculous patterned walls or furniture much to MC’s distaste but, “what’s yours is mine” right? No. But Gary approves!

Has two dogs: a terrier & a collie since MC wasn’t down for getting a sheep

They do have chickens to raise their own eggs tho!

Definitely the kind of significant other that will ride on the cart when they’re out grocery shopping, will make you breakfast in bed, & will send you memes while he’s at home and you’re out or even when he’s at work and you’re at home, let’s you put his arm to sleep when you’re laying on it in bed (big ass head gang!), definitely chooses the candles from bath & body works that smell like food items (majority of them suck let’s be honest)

Probably smells like cucumber, melons, lemons, and eucalyptus

Has your wedding date in his IG bio & is proud

Annoys Gary & Lottie with his food pics, “oh, Not this shit again! 😡 looks brilliant, but enough!”

Has zoom/FaceTime movie nights with Marisol & MC who stopped feeling like she was third-wheeling months ago

Talks to hope & Noah (in the background) as much as he can. Feels like they’re his inspiration for love, even tho he’s the only one married out of the villa

He values marriage just like his parents do and often has Sunday dinners with them & MC ofc

Probably has relationship guide books and only reads them out of boredom but finds fascinating facts/advice if he pays attention & tries to apply it to his relationship with mc. If it works, it works! & If it doesn’t, you can’t say he didn’t try!

Works long hours but will still come home to cook for MC or brings leftovers from the events he’s catered (most are for the hospital but occasionally he’ll do other events)

Has a separate IG for his work

When WAP dropped, he almost lost his shit. Even tried to get MC to do the challenge with him, he’s pretty bad but MC eventually learned it just for him 😜

Is thrilled that Cardi made the best decision EVER on divorcing offset, “are you thinking of leaving me now?” “... I might.” “BOBBY!” “Haha, I love you!

Absolutely loves Christmas!!! It’s his favorite holiday and he loves giving back to everyone in his life. Usually he’s working overtime for the holidays & it makes him emotional due to the stories he hears & he puts a little extra love in his food

Goes all out for Christmas. Tries to buy/make everyone something. Even if he doesn’t really care for them...he’ll at least send them a x-mas card, if they keep it or burn it it’s entirely up to them—if he knew about it he’d probably be a little sad not gonna lie...he’s a soft king

Once bought Lottie black crocs with spooky pins , “are you joking Bobby?!” He knows she secretly loved them

Uses salt and peppermint in his dark hot cocoa...

Rather make deserts for Christmas than the food, he feels like it’s his duty

King of giving the thumbs up, especially when situations have gone to shit. He’ll still shoot them up with a smile or a grimace

Always inviting someone somewhere. “Bobby, hun. You’re 4-6 hrs away and it’s 1 am.” Hope groaned after listening to his bright idea, thinking something bad happened. “Ah, you could still make it if you tried, lassie.” “I’m gonna hang up now. Good night, bonkers man.”

Needs constant reminding when to get his locs touched up & moisturized

Either has a trampoline or a funhouse jumper in his backyard (maybe both) “we’ve got the space and this is better than a pool, or almost!”

Wants children, a whole footie team! There’s no specific time frame for him, when it happens, it happens

Used to cool & wet temps & loves vacationing in Greenland. Sure the hot weather he experienced in the villa was awesome & something different than what he’s used to but you can’t take the scot out of the man. So he typically sticks to places that are similar in temps, that way he doesn’t have to change his clothing choices much

Loves a good bath. Bubble baths are better than bath bombs to him, PERIOD!

Loves bubbles so much he put too much laundry detergent in the wash (does this on purpose now) and came back home to the dogs and room covered in it. Do you think he cleaned it up before MC came home? No. He decided to have a bubble party in the room with a Caribbean playlist playing in the background

MC definitely posted about it the first time & joined him for a bit, dreading the work that came with cleaning it all up. Now whenever Bobby needs a bubble party, he knows what to do. MC preferred him to have his little bubble party in the tub but 50% of the time he chooses not to listen & they leave him to pout & clean it himself

Likes to hold hands with fingers interlocked. When it’s cold and if you’re both wearing hoodies, he’ll slide his hand inside the arm of your hoodie to help keep you warm

Canon: His version of a snack is spaghetti hoops on toast & can eat that for the rest of his life & be content

If he didn’t end up marrying MC, probably finds his significant other working as a nurse at one of the hospitals he caters to or a volunteer at a old folks home

Never had a serious relationship, very few hookups, was either always placed in the friend zone or there was one person he wanted to be serious with but they rejected him and continued loving someone else who treated them like shit—so he kinda swore off of relationships and just flirted a bunch and kept his love life non-existent

Fav ice cream? Rocky road ice cream with one scoop of cotton candy & one scoop of cookie butter blue

Doesn’t believe in measuring when it comes to culinary. He uses his eyes as his measurement, could be a bad thing, could be a good thing, that’s up to you

If he’s up at night, he’s eating something sweet. A nice glass of single malt scotch whiskey + a splash of coconut milk (🤢) with a slice of angel food cake & he’s out like a light

Absolutely loves shopping for the kitchen, finds immense joy in doing so. If you lose him in a store, one of the places you’ll most likely find him is in the kitchen decor area

Owns a bagpipe & wants to get better at it, even tho he scared the living shit out of his dogs & chickens

Wears his shades quite a bit even tho the weather is hardly sunny and mainly windy & damp

Will hold the door for strangers even if they don’t say thank you

He’s open when it comes to music. Will listen to anything but feels like the music has to be a purpose for something...Everything he does in his day to day life has to feel like a soundtrack to him since in his mind he’s daydreaming about his life being made into a movie. Who isn’t?

He thinks wentworth Miller should play him in a film and that kid from blackish should play him when he was a wee lad, Marcus Scribner

Always keeps a positive attitude because he knows what it feels like to feel low and he doesn’t want anybody else in the world to feel like that so he wants to uplift and if he can try to be someone’s happiness he’ll gladly be that— which isn’t always the right move, he learned

Listens to: Rotimi, Shaggy, Sean Paul, Skip Marley, H.E.R., Jhene Aiko, Jorja Smith, UMI, The Kooks, The Killers, Cold War kids, Milky chance, Blood Orange, The 1975, Vampire Weekend, Bad Suns, BRYSON TILLER, Kilo Kish, & Ella Eyre (although he misses her old music)

Celeb crushes? Cardi B is his mfkin celeb wife okay?! Nobody else comes above her! He also thinks FKA twigs is pretty & super talented, sevdaliza!, Tia & Tamera, Iman, and brandy from the 90s makes him swoon

Anthem = jaden, “Boys and Girls”

[beecherdrysdale]

Hiii how are you ? I fell down the stairs today and cried for a minute straight #hormones. Dw I have a high pain tolerance but I just started sobbing lol. It happens. LONG post ahead, I kinda went off hehe.

Anyways let’s get started!! Yes quinton gets to be upfront because he would probably feel so uncomfortable(no offence) with all the sexual tension going on there if dyl or jamie were in the front hehe. But yes they would be bitchy about who gets to sit upfront “ no Jamie it’s mine turn to sit with Brigid” “ no it’s my turn dylan you just sat with her” so brigid would get fed up and banishes them to the back hehe. Lmao Brigid can we listen to Katy perry now? The silence!! And then no can we listen to Lady Gaga?. Quinton trying not to lose it in the front seat. If I had to chose tho I would chose lady gaga:) wbu?

Get ready to be beat! Yes Ryan is absolutely not sitting upfront w me! We would be crazy and I wanna win so. Quinner is sitting up front w me but he decided to be .... and I’m banish him to the back. Braden is the most chill so he’s sitting upfront and giving me directions!! Haha dyl yelling at you to drive faster, but no I will beat both hehe;). Kesh who’s sitting up front w you? Would Kirby be handsy😏?. We would have to make so many stops lol. Like it’s just nostalgic for us, but new for you so it would be fun to make pit stops. and we would just be taking so many Instagram photos as a group and w our boys and together ! We love that ! “Wait wait wait Lexi pull over, I remember this place I wanna take photos” lol this is bad hehe.

Lmao yes, your hair would be so tangled!! They would be panicking a bit because they’re like omg she’s gonna be so mad.... honestly Ryan would just take the photo and then post it but then Dylan would repost it and then Jamie and then me lol. Honestly I kinda love when people just take videos of being in the car w like the scenery showing, but this would include us laughing and listening to music! I hope they makes sense. Hehe Ryan or Dylan would probably take photos of Braden, cozzy and devon sleeping and would post it. Back to the hair: hehe yes I can see you giving them a death glare when you realize and your getting mad and would hide. I’m just imagining this in my head, like me pulling over and you running out of the car and quinton and devon fixing your hair lol. Somebody would be filming this no doubt.

Music wise, yes I love blasting music and people looking but it’s kinda a flex when they see who we are with.... I like rap too! What song do u like Brigid?. Country will be played and 2000’s which is fun! I’m good with anything !. Kesh I love hype up songs as well and bass heavy songs because they sound good on speakers hehe. I’ve been into Rihanna for the past week and I was working out to her music- where have you been, rude boy, bitch better have my money lol, pon de replay hit different but also S&M for some sexiness. Lmao sorry I’m just listing Rihanna songs that I love atm. What are your fav songs right now? Awww dancing on the side of the road is so soft, but everybody needs a dance break! Cozzy, Devon and Braden are some how still passed out, I admire that. Late night drives🥺 are we spicing this up 😏.

Hehe you and devon are swamped w emails and more and you’re like kirby can you please go w them we need somebody to watch them. Als yes quinton go take those hot photos . I admire Dylan’s sleep schedule, like good job on catching up on sleep. Kirbys just trying to sweet talk you and kiss you so that you wouldn’t be mad. All in all, kesh is just shocked like how is that possible? Lmao Brigid, Ryan and I w the shopping cart just stocking up on popcorn, chips m&ms, I love that. Jamie and Dylan are racing each other to see who can grab the most cereal and made sure that they are getting the correct ones for Brigid. Honestly all the boys are just confused about how grocery shopping works hehe. The crackhead energy. Kirby is panicking. We literally bought out all the snacks. Beaver tails are delish and I know where you can get them so 😃. I want to stuff Quinner’s mouth w beaver tails cuz that’s cute:) yes healthy food is a must, like fruits, veggies, rice cakes hehe. But remember that we are going to workout on this vacay hehe. After the grocery store we would go into the mall or something and the boys would just be wanting to buy video games 😂 and ps5’s. Also kesh I love how some of the boys are just trying on clothes. Why do I get a feeling that one of the boys would just be filming all of this?

The chirping will happen nonstop, I’m sorry it’s just to much inspo. Aww yes they are blushing real hard, cuz they like you soooo much. But Brigid is enjoying touching them so no prob.

The boat is a must and it is happening!! Hehe yes the tubing would be chaotic, everybody is just trying to get each other to fall in 😂. Ryan thinks that he’s getting away w pushing me in but SIKE you are coming with me. So then we’re just fighting in the water. Quinner would be like where did they go?. Hehe brigid gets so wrapped up in laughing at us that Braden pushes her in haha. Yes we all look super hot in our bikinis, and the boys are speechless! Like dyl and Jamie are just like wow, she looks so amazing! And Kirby is so in love w you, he’s like I’m the luckiest man ever. I’m still gonna make sure that I wear a non tie bikini so that it doesn’t untie, like one time I was in the boat and my friend pulled on the string and the entire thing untied and I just jumped in the water to retie. That is not happening again lol. Quinner would be mad hehe. Idk I’m seeing Brigid in a black bikini or maybe a dark blue one? It would match your eyes?. Kesh in a red one or yellow and me maybe in a green one or just black lol. Hehe yes kesh and Kirby are just doing cute couple stuff and keeping an eye out but we are to chaotic to maintain .

Hehe yes ig we are clingy but cute drunks but I get kinda wild when I drink so the body shots would def happen. It would be hot tbh. Yes somebody do body shots w Brigid. Dylan would step up first, and he would be enjoying it and then Jamie sees and is like no it’s my turn so he does it and in the end it’s just a competition and you all get drunk hehe. Kesh and Kirby are the parents of the clubbing trip no offence.. like wanna go help cozzy and devon? Hehe lol I could just be dancing w Brigid and the boys would get jealous and one of them would just come up and be like excuse may I cut in, and i would be like tf but then they give me a glare and I go dance sexy with Quinner or crazy w Ryan. Kesh and Kirby should dance at least at one point during this time. We all look hot btw :)

Hehe yay I can be friends w Dylan :) I want that friendship to happen tbh. but he’s getting jealous but I’m like let them have their moment, so I distract him a bit w talking.

Girls day is a must! I wanna hang out w you so badly. Some cute clothing will be bought! Ooo yes us modelling and them being in awe. Oo kesh a different modelling show w the boys 😏. The boys are getting handsy esp Dylan and Jamie hehe. And they are super protective so no other guy at the club gets any ideas. After tho it’s biker shorts, sweat pants and hoodies type of vacay lol .

Thank you for reading ! Hope you enjoy mes chéries💗🌸

yes ok so loooong post ahead people

oof that tough falling down the stairs lol. honestly i’m not doing to great right now bc i did not do as well as i wanted at my meet, so now i’m in a funky headspace. but hopefully answering this ask will help, and i can get my shit together before my events tomorrow (which are actually my important events)

haha yes dyl and jamie would just be arguing like “no it’s my turn to sit in front, no you just did it’s my turn” lmao. and then whenever they’re sitting in the front there’s just too much tension for quinton to deal with lol. so then i feel bad for quinton so i banish the other guys to the back and let him sit in the front hehe. and i’m just ignoring the other guys and refuse to play either of their music and i let quinton pick. and if we purposely pick songs we know the other guys hate, that’s a secret we’ll never tell. oof between those two idk, probably lady gaga, but again we’re not playing music jamie and dyl like lol. 

haha no, you get ready to get beat. i’m like an INSANE driver when i want to be. and ofc dylan is just yelling at me “faster brigid, hurry tf up! we have to beat everyone” so then we’re just zooming. but then obviously you’re doing your best to keep up so you have to banish ryan to the back so he doesn’t distract you. and then you let quinner sit up front until he starts getting too handsy bc you’re like no i won’t let myself get distracted. so then braden’s up front giving directions and trying to get you to go faster, but i’m still winning lol. and then kesh is also still in the race, and she and kirby are just chilling in the front bc everyone else’s asleep. ooooh yes making lots of pit stops bc nostalgia for all of you canadians. and then me and kesh are just seeing all the sights for the first time. oooooh yes all the cute insta pics we could take

ooooh yes people taking vids of like the music and scenery would be so cute to post as stories. and ofc all of us laughing and stuff, that would be so cute. anyways yes, my hair would be a hugeeee knot. and i would just give them the death glare, like you’ve got to be fucking kidding me. and jamie and dyl just try to hide from me, like they run away as soon as the car is stopped. and then devon and quinton fix it for me, god bless their souls. like i’m sorry, bc even i wouldn’t want to deal with that. ik how my hair can get. and this would be allllll over everyone’s stories ofc lmao

ok yessss our music game is on point tbh. ok so for rap, the artists i’m really into rn are juice wrld (rip i actually loved him sm), kid laroi (who learned from juice, so he sounds a lot like him), trippie redd, mgk, and nf. also iann dior, but he’s not so much rap as r&b. honestly any of their songs slap. and then ofc country and early 2000′s. and any music with good bass, but i think a lot of the artists i said have that. ooooh yes getting out to have a dance party on the side of the road. hehe it could be really crazy. or alternatively, it could be when you’re out on a late night drive and there’s a slow song on the radio and you guys just get out and slow dance to the song together no this is not at all inspired by the song slow dance in a parking lot anyways yes late night drives are so cute. but then of course they can get spicy 😏 in case you couldn’t tell i’m always down for it to get spicy lmao

haha yes quinton and dylan c. honestly have their priorities straight. and devon and kesh are swamped with director duties, so that leaves kirby in charge. so then ofc when we get home kirbs tries to sweet talk kesh, but she’s just not having it. she’s just like how? anywaysssss at the store we have the most duo of ryan and lexi, plus now i’m added into the mix, and it’s just a mess. like we buy a shit ton of popcorn, pretzels, chips, candy, etc. and we literally bought half the store’s supply of everything lmao. and then dyl and jamie are just in the cereal aisle trying to grab as much cereal as they can. whichever one of them gets we chocolate mini wheats i will love forever. and then kirby’s getting healthy food bc yk he’s trying to be responsible. so then kesh has to explain that his whole job was to make sure everyone else was getting healthy food, not just get it himself lmao. but honestly none of the guys actually know what they’re doing lmao. and then we obviously have to get beaver tails to so lexi and quinner can have a moment, but idk where you get those lol. but yes we will be working out a ton on this vacay, so it’s ok that we have sm junk food lol. and then after we’re done with food, the guys decide to wander the mall and then they just buy a ton of video game and then they’re trying on clothes lol. and yes obvi they’re videoing the whole thing bc they’re secretly middle school girls who want to have a blog lmao

hehe yes me getting chirped the whole trip, esp the boat day. and the guys are getting so embarrassed about it, but i just don’t care lmao. and then the whole boat day is so chaotic obvi. when ryan pushes lexi in, quinner will come back and just be confusion lmao. like where’s lexi. and then i’m dying laughing and then braden sneaks over and pushes me in lol. but yes we all look amazing in our bikinis. like kirby is just so in love with kesh and thinks she looks gorgeous 😍 and then dyl and jamie are just like damn you look hot about me lol bc we’re horny ones on this trip apparently. and i’ll wear a tie-back jolyn bc they actually stay on lol. and then ofc quinner thinks lexi looks super good, but then she tells the story about the last time she wore a tie-back and he’s just like why didn’t you do it again? lmao. ooooh for bikinis i like a black top with a print on the bottoms idk why. and then you guys in whichever color you want. also yes kesh and kirby are trying to be responsible during this, but it’s just not working lol

haha yep i can definitely see you and quinner being wild drunks together (it’s more like when the alcohol is wearing off that you guys get really clingy) so obvi you guys start doing body shots. and ofc it turns into a jamie/dyl competition bc what doesn’t? and then me and lexi are just dancing sexy together, yk like two drunk girls do, and then dyl or jamie tries to come over and cut in and at first you won’t let them but then you finally give in and go dance with quinner instead. and then yeah, no offense kesh and kirby, but y’all are the parents here. like making sure we don’t do anything too too dumb lmao. and also being a wingman for some of the other guys. but you guys def dance together at least a little bit too. and obvi we all look hot

yessss i feel like you and dyl could be super chaotic friends too. so the two of you are just chilling together and then you have to distract him lol, but then after that you have a different chaotic friend for when ryan’s not available lmao

yes yes yes, girl’s day would be so fun. and then we get a ton of cute new clothes so obvi we have to model them. and they’re all just in awe, like those are our girls. but then we also do private modeling shows 😏 and we all know how that ends. and then when we’re in our clubbing clothes obvi they are getting super protective over us bc we look so hot and we’re their girls, so no other guys can get ideas. but then once they’re drunk they’re handsy as hell lol. but then the rest of the vacay ends ups spent in hoodies, sweats, and athletic shorts lol. and obvi some of the guys’ clothes

ughhhh i love this, the whole thing was amazing. 10/10

[marissasmoments91]

And so it begins…

The year 2010 my age 18.  I had gotten my first job working at a movie theatre, life was great; I was earning my own money and got discounted popcorn and candy whenever I wanted. What more could I want?!

I was always a petite child but carried all of my weight in my belly. I danced consistently all of my childhood so my weight stayed fairly static.

 Once I began working and the dance classes lessened my weight slowly crept up and I began to put on what is not so affectionately known as the “freshman 15” (even though I had taken a year off before I started university and wasn’t technically a freshman). My clothes still fit so what was the problem? Nothing in my eyes.

A little under 2 years later I needed a second job; so I got a job working for a chain restaurant.

Here I was again getting discounted food. My life was excellent. I moved my way up the ranks and eventually became a floor manager. Now my meals weren’t just discounted they were free.

You mean I could have free restaurant quality food whenever I wanted? And for free?! You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to know that chicken parmigiana, curly fries and Caesar salad every day is not a good diet. I only needed to utter the words “I feel like cake” and within 5 minutes I’d have a delicious chocolate cake brought to me by our well intentioned chefs. I got a little bit heavier.

Now you’re probably thinking well how big was she? Now let me just say I’ve never been huge and at this time I ranged between 55 – 60kg. To some that sounds like an ideal weight but a 5 kg fluctuation throughout the year was definitely noticeable in my clothes and on my 5 foot frame the change was always obvious.

In 2015 I got invisalign braces and anyone who has had braces knows how difficult it is to eat. Taking my braces in and out the first few months was painful so I would only take my braces out to eat twice a day. I ate my breakfast and my customary chicken parmigiana during my break at 2pm and then I wouldn’t eat again until the next day. It was with this method that I noticed a weight drop and so did other people. I felt good about myself but as the braces became less painful the more I took them out and started eating normally again and surprise! Surprise! The weight came back.

As an avid gym hater whenever it came up I’d brag that I flat out hated the gym. But it was around this time I thought that I should join one. I joined the local community gym. I’d go do 20 minutes on the treadmill a couple of bicep curls, some crunches and call it a day. This did not last long.

Early 2016 I started working at a hotel, I tried the best I could but let me tell you, having to resist eating the left over breakfast pastries every damn day was difficult and I didn’t often succeed (my personal fav the almond croissants) but then a family friend introduced me to myfitnesspal – a calorie tracking app to help people lose weight. This was perfect I could eat what I wanted and lose weight provided I kept within my assigned calories. It was hard at first but I slowly got the hang of it and dropped some kgs - the lowest I got to whilst using the app was 53.6kg. I was thrilled. I maintained the 53.5 – 55kg weight for the rest of the year.

2017 – I change jobs again moving to another hotel, over the Christmas break I had slowly stopped using myfitnesspal (I figured I didn’t need it) before I knew it I was back up to 59kg. 2 months into the new job and I was promoted to an office role. I was very paranoid about putting on weight as I was no longer moving around all day in the restaurant.

By April I had had enough of the constant fluctuation and began lite n easy. My cousin had started using it and had lost some weight so I thought why not. Coming from an Italian background the food was an adjustment but altogether not terrible. Did I stick to it 100%. NO. I figured since it was a calorie controlled diet if I wanted a piece of cake after dinner with my cup of tea (a weakness of mine) then I could.  It would only put me a little over my allocated calories so there was no harm. Right? The weight didn’t go anywhere. Becoming obsessed, I weighed myself every day in order to help control my eating throughout the day. If I was less than the day before I relaxed, if I wasn’t I was super strict.

 At June 2017 I was 60kg, I vowed to get my act together and take it seriously, after all what was the point of wasting my money on a product that I wasn’t using properly?

 I used events coming up in my life to set goals I wanted to reach. For a family christening in September I wanted to be 55kg and the morning of I weighed in at 55.1kg (I was a bit disappointed but it was pretty much close enough) by October for my cousins 18th I wanted to be 54kg I weighed in on the morning of at 54.1kg. The small goals I set myself seemed to work. I kept on this same trajectory and by 25th November after being super strict for 6 weeks straight I was at my lowest weight I could remember - 53.3kg.I was thin but still 3.3kg from my goal weight. People noticed and complimented me on my weight loss. I was 7kg down in 7 months. I was proud of myself. But was I completely happy, no not really. I hated being invited out anywhere – it stirred a panic in me. Where were we going? What was on the menu? What could I eat? How much would I weigh tomorrow? I managed to get through the silly season with minimal damage to my waistline.

 February 2018 I slowed down on the lite n easy I figured I had learnt enough about portion size and calorie controlling that I could do my own breakfasts and just get lite and easy lunch, dinner and snacks.  Towards the middle of the year I was fed up as I had hit a plateau and I started to give up.

 And then July 2018 I was invited to a black tie industry awards night.

 I bought my dress and whilst it fit, losing a couple of kilos wouldn’t go astray. “I know I’ll drop my calories as low as I can” I thought – after all losing weight is calories in vs calories out so the lower my calories means I would lose more weight right?!

 I dropped my calories to 700- 800 calories a day. For three weeks straight I did this and let me tell you it was not healthy or fun. I was tired, angry and moody. I snapped at anyone and refused to even look at any other food no matter how many times my mum tried to get me to eat more, but I was 26 so there wasn’t much she could do (I actually think that any time she prepped food for me she added more in than what I asked just so I would be eating more)

 I lost over 3kgs in 3 weeks. The day after the event I weighed myself and I had put on over 2kgs. I wasn’t happy.

If you have stuck with me this far into my story you can probably guess how the rest of the year went. I dropped down again to the 53’s and then back up to the 58’s each day weighing myself and being pissed off if my weight had gone up by even 100g.

Heading in to November I had a holiday booked to Hawaii. As it drew closer I kept telling myself I’d drop my calories again but just the mere thought of having to always be hungry and cranky was enough to convince me not to do it. I wanted to at least be 53kg when I left since I knew I’d put on weight over there. I figured if I’m really thin when I get there and put on 5kg I would only be 58kg when I came back and I could lose the weight again. After all I had before.

So about 3 weeks out I thought I better start prepping and again I dropped my calories to 700 – 800 by skipping lunch and went for a 30 min walk outside of the office instead. I dropped weight but only reached low 55’s. That would have to do and I vowed to myself I’d join a gym when I got back and lose the weight properly once and for all.

I went to Hawaii and I ate what I wanted – why the hell not I was on vacation!

 I came back early December, I was scared to get on the scale. I weighed 64kg. I had put on just under 9kg in 10 days. How was it possible? I was mortified, upset and angry. I got straight back to dieting and did join a gym. I managed to lose a couple of kilos but a family tragedy resulted in some comfort eating and my weight ballooned back up to 64kgs.

 This brings me to 24th December 2018 where the story really begins… 

[winwiniswinning]

Boyfriend! Taeyong

woah okay so I don’t know about you guys but I love myself some taeyong

he’s such a little cutie oh lord i’m smiling just thinking about him

so here’s a little boyfriend! taeyong for y'all

you guys met in a unique sort of way

it was all because of your mom

cause taeyong had been working with your mom for a couple of years now and she really liked him

she thought he was the perfect match for her poor little single pringle of a daughter

he was 100% mom approved

your mom wanted to set you guys up in a discreet way so she told you guys different stories about each other and showed pics as well to let y’all have a feel for each other

honestly if you guys knew what sort of stories she told, you’d both set up a plan to slaughter her

she told stories like

“once when y/n was seven years old, she peed on the front porch waiting for me to open the door for her after school! she just couldn’t hold it in.”

and

“on taeyong’s first day of work, he had bought 8 cups of coffee for the major workers there to make a good impression. poor him, he ended up spilling the coffee all over himself because he couldn’t balance the trays right.”

after a couple of months of telling stories and sharing pictures, both you and taeyong are really interested in actually getting to know each other

your mom was so excited she threw a solo party… legit no joke she bought a mini cake with your ship name on it

yes she gave you guys a ship name

#dedicatedmom #momwantsdaughtertonotbeasinglepringle

she even belted along to her fav Beatles songs while eating her sad little cake

there might have been some happy tears involved as well

okay talking about her little solo party over you possibly not being single anymore is downright depressing, i’m over

your mom invites taeyong over for dinner so you two can get to talk and y’all, you know she’s gonna be cooking up more food than necessary

i mean for god’s sake, it’s just gonna be you, your parents, and of course, the extra special vvvvvvvip of the motherfucking century, (according to your mom) taeyong

anyway, when taeyong was invited by your mom he got super frantic and the butterflies started popping up in his little tummy 

yo off topic but typing tummy just sent me back to my fifth grade where this guy in my class was eating his snack and part of his lunch during snack time. and everyone was like dude what you doing. and he’s like, “my belly’s hungry.” (or something along those lines… my memory is highkey foggy) and like his friends were like, “you still call your stomach your belly?” and he’s like, “yeah, dude what’s wrong with that.” and his friends are laughing and i’m laughing with my friends and he’s just sitting there eating his tomato soup (how do i remember this?) and getting like playfully frustrated. ANyways we then had a mini little playful argument about calling your stomach your tummy or belly. idk man. fifth grade was strange. anyways wow this is supposed to be a boyfriend!taeyong, not a kris goes back in time to look at her silly memories and reminiscence about them. BACK TO THE STORY –>

as I said above, taeyong was really nervous after receiving your mom’s invitation. he probably went home in a total rush and flurry (like tripping over pure air as he drops his papers) 

when he gets back to his apartment where he lives with jaehyun, he’ll be rushing to jaehyun’s room and be shaking him awake from his sleep (it was jaehyun’s day off okay, so he was sleeping in until like 4 PM, it’s chill)

“WAKE UP JAE WAKE UP”

Imagine Jaehyun rubbing his puffy sleep filled eyes tiredly and mumbling, “What?” (AHHHHHH SO CUTE)

“You need to help me. Get out of bed right now. NOW” 

“Okay…”

Jaehyun will probably just be like, “Calm down. I’m sure Y/N will love you. And don’t dress so fancy! No, you are not wearing a tuxedo who the hell do you think you are? Just wear those ripped skinny black jeans and that white graphic tee. Yeah, you look fine. Uh huh. Okay, get out I want to sleep more. Yes, I love you too. Mmhm buh bye.”

meanwhile you’ll be really confused why your mom is cooking so much and when she tells you, “Taeyong is coming for dinner tonight!” you start freaking out

you had been in a few relationships before but they never lasted long and the guys weren’t like the most amazing but Taeyong felt different and you really wanted to get to know him and maybe.. maybe… maybe be more than friends

when Taeyong finally arrived, you guys greeted each other like friends

you knew so much about each other already it felt strange knowing that it was your first meeting

things kicked off from then and in only a handful of weeks, you guys were dating

Taeyong would be the sweetest boyfriend ever (I mean, all the members would be lol)

He’s probably really protective and wont let you do a lot of stuff that he thinks is dangerous. 

Taeyong will also cook you a lot of food

He’ll pack lunch boxes for you to bring to work and puts cute little notes on them to motivate you, such as “You’re doing amazing! Love you <3″ and “You’re looking extra gorgeous today!” 

He really likes skinship but is a bit shy about kissing in public so public skinship will be like holding hands, back hugs, and pecks on the top of your head

In private, though he’s almost always touching you

Constantly holding your hand, even just a finger of yours for reassurance

Skinship really comforts him and makes him feel grounded

kisses on his jawline and under his ear are his absolute favorite

he’s kinda ticklish on his jaw so if you find the right place (it’s like right behind the curve of his jaw), he’ll be giggling like a little kid

pretty darn clingy like he’s always like, “c’mere Y/N” and has you sit in his lap when y’all are among friends 

he’ll twirl your hair between his fingers while listening to people talk and he likes to run his fingers down your back 

y’all know what i mean like when you’re younger and your friends trace random stuff on your back? yup that’s what he does

sometimes tae can get real quiet and just pulled-back so when that happens, he just wants peace by himself

when he gets into those moments, you’ll know cause he’ll have his earbuds in and just be sitting there looking off into nowhere or be laying down with his eyes closed

he doesn’t like skinship during those moments, rather the comfort of himself 

but if he ever gets into a stressed mode, whether it be from work, his friends or family, or just life in general, he’ll act quite the same as he does when he’s pulled back, but he’ll end up craving skinship after some frustration

you can calm him down a lot if you manage to get him to lay down on your lap and just run your fingers through his hair and let him rant about what’s going on

it’s a little hard to get taeyong jealous since he’s grounded in his belief that you are only interested in him

it’d take a lot of skinship with another guy for him to get jealous, or if some guy is obviously hitting on you, he’ll just like SSWWWOOOP come up and act all chill when really he’s imagining the guy’s face as a target for his darts

there’s so much more to your relationship together but i wanna keep this short and sweet, so i’ll end this boyfriend! taeyong here

i hope you guys enjoyed <3

i’m really happy to be posting something after so long and i hope that i’ll get back into my writing/posting game!

bye bye for now

[tsukii]

its not the 25th here yet but ima say it anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY my bday is in january too omg best time of the year 👌🏽 i hope u got what u wanted ?? tell us how ur bday went ! ♡

THANK YOU SO MUCH ok i wasn’t really surprised bc they were v obvious i’m super happy ;~; i had an amazing day asdfghjkl like the only bad thing that happened today was this test i had in the morning agh;;; but that’s ok i’m too happy to care if i failed or not 

omg oops um i’m just gonna put the rest under the cut bc i don’t want to annoy some people bc it’s kinda long i’m sorry i wanted it to be short but somehow it just.... u kno..... ;~;

yes!!! ofc i did :^) my mum’s best friend came over yesterday night and gave me $210 bc she didn’t know what to get for me omfg i died i had a mini heart attack mm well tbh i don’t really have anything i wanted for my bday this year but i’m def. really happy w everything i got today ! i got a bunch of baymax stuff, haikyuu!! stuff bc lots of my friends went to japan during the hols idk why, my mum gave me earrings but idk when i’ll even wear them they’re too fancy??? but really pretty ! :D , my oldest brother got me a tablet!!! , the other gave me food lmao (fffff he always says i’m fat and all but then he went and got me a lot of my fav snacks??? pshh) , my sweet lil sis gave me a card, a big warm hug when i got home, and kisses all over my face heh c: +++ the lovely gifts i got on tumblr*---*

and ALSO. today i finally got a hug from my younger brother nico

eee i got 3 cakes today!!! one my mum brought home and tried to hide but i saw it anyways hahaha the other 2 were from my friends at school ! 1 of the 2 got smashed into my face....so yeah that’s the reason they bought 2 TT .. i also got pizza from my friends at dance class !!! but they ordered too much so there were lots of leftovers... rn i’m waiting for my dad to come home from work bc i don’t want to have the cake without him ! :D 

i’m v. emotional...sometimes .. so i kinda cried a little today ;v;

today was a really good day!!! i got so many gifts and so many hugs i love hugs and i couldn’t stop smiling even rn i’m smiling and i’m just really really happy ok i’m bad at words but i’m really grateful to everyone ;---; !!!! WELL ANYWAY THIS IS GETTING LONG I’M SORRY I’LL STOP HERE

LAST THING !!! thank you again to everyone who wished me a hbd ! merci!! xie xie!! gracias!! arigato!! kamsahanmida!! AAAAA i hope all of you had a great day too ✧*｡٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و✧*｡

[itsjayyyy]

July 2, 2018 11:17 pm

So yesterday I went to work and all that jazz, and as my shift was ending rose sent me a text saying she was going to paul’s birthday dinner and they wouldn’t be back at their place until a little later, and I should wait until they come back to slide over. I responded that since it was sunday night (back to school), I was planning on heading back to my college for the night. But as soon as I sent that message I realized that they were offering to let me stay over again, and there was no way in hell I’d pass up that opportunity. So I quickly added “but if yall are cool with me staying over I’ll wait ya sure.” I still drove out to my college after my shift, though, because I still needed to shower. After I got out of the shower, I rearranged my locker, then rose texted me saying they were gonna get boba, so I linked up with them there. I got chocolate milk tea (reminded me a lot of chocolate milk w a lot of syrup) with chili pepper popping boba (not as spicy as I expected it to be).

While we were there, rose mentioned plane ticket costs and how they were predicted to go down and I was like wait. Yall are still planning on going to this music festival. After we literally had a huge fight over that. About how I gave yall $850 because I thought you needed it and now you won’t even help me get off the streets. Okay.

I just kind of stewed in my anger instead of saying it out loud, though, since paul’s sister was with them and I didn’t want to leave a bad impression on her. When the boba shop closed we migrated outside to have a cigarette and then talk some more. Peter and I sat on the curb and talked about how he was kind of scared he wouldn’t be a good father since he never had one growing up, and then I started to teach him how to ride a motorcycle. Then we stopped by a gas station (where I accidentally spilled gas all over my tank), and then went back to their place to smoke a bowl. Bruh, when I tell you peter has the comfiest bed in the world, I mean it.

The next morning (today), rose told me that apparently in my sleep i reached over her, grabbed peter’s arm, and held it close to me. But I held it in an angle that put his hand right on my titties. I’m a very cuddly person when I’m asleep, in my defense. She also told me that the night before, I swung my leg over her (like a full body hug) and accidentally kicked peter in the balls. I’m so sorry, peter.

So I woke up around 10:30 ish, laid in bed, then rose and I watched another episode of mother. We got to the part where seol ak dies ahhh it’s so sad. I know I’m not supposed to feel bad for him bc he’s an abuser and all but man, with a backstory like that you gotta at least feel a little bad for him. Then I went to therapy, but I got to that side of town about 30 mins early so I stopped at a mcdonald’s for breakfast. And by breakfast I mean a small fries and a medium hazelnut iced coffee. I don’t eat at mcdonald’s that often, but I noticed some things were different: you order on a touch screen, and the workers that bring your food wear very professional outfits, like they work at a hotel or something.

This was the first therapy session that I felt that she was actually giving me some solid advice, instead of just listening to me. But in her defense, most of the times I tell her about my problems, I follow it up with my solutions so she never gets an opportunity to help me. Today she suggested I write a letter to my parents, because it allows me to carefully compile and revise what I say, there’s no chance of them interrupting me, and they can reread it as many times as they need to. She also said that I should ask rose and peter to pay me back, considering that I’m homeless and need money to at least rent a hotel or something. When she first said that (and for the next few hours), I was like fuck yeah give me my money back. But now that I’ve simmered down, I feel bad because rose has two speeding tickets she has to pay for, and she still hasn’t gotten her first paycheck, and her car ran out of gas today. But if she just agreed to not go to lollapalooza, maybe I wouldn’t be so upset.

After therapy I drove out to my college again to chill on the upper floor of the library (my new fav spot). I watched the final episode of mother, and I’m so happy it has a happy ending ahh. It reaffirmed my love of social work. Even though rose said she was going to donate plasma on the east side and then meet up with me, she never messaged me the rest of the day. I’m getting really fed up with that tbfh. I texted her saying “so much for finishing mother today” and she responded about how her car ran out of gas. I just don’t want to think about her and mom talking at home ugh.

After the library closed, I drove right off campus to the gas station to pick up some cup noodles. I also bought a bottle of water since it’s cheaper there, and also a pack of hostess donuts because I deserve them. I remember hearing when I was a very young child something about the average family lives on $2 a day (apparently I misheard, it’s the line of poverty that’s $2 a day), and now I think I want to adopt a similar mentality. I’m not going to go as far as going to $2 a day right now (which would be 2 cups of noodles and nothing more), but I do want to curb my spending on food. Of course, buying prepared meals will always be more expensive than preparing food by hand, but since I don’t have a kitchen that’s a paradoxical luxury I can’t afford. I just want to spend less money on starbucks, mcdonald’s (that breakfast was like $4!!!), etc. and see how much extra I can save. Here’s my plan: buy a box of any cheap super sugary cake (like zebra cakes, twinkies, etc) since they come as a pack of 6 for $1.79 and contain enough calories to be a full meal. That’ll be my mid day snack. That comes out to 30 cents per day. Then I’ll allow, say, a cup of noodles or easy mac or maybe a can of soup from the gas station, which is between $1-2, for dinner. If I currently set a budget of $5 per day, that leaves around $2.70 for breakfast, which could be two donuts at dunkin. 

I also want to start balancing my checkbook, because I feel like that would help me be more aware of my spending. I set it up in the back of my comp sci notebook already; I plan on doing my checking account in black ink, my discover card in red, and my capital one in blue because I feel that if I only do my checking then I’ll just hide all my purchases from my conscience in my credit cards.

I’m really wishing I had taken the 5 packs of chopsticks from my yellow backpack and put them in my blue backpack, because I’m currently trying to eat noodles with a bottle cap as my eating utensil and it is not working out.

I think I might start looking into living on my own if I can’t talk things through with everyone else. I mean, they still want to go to lolla, but literally the month after they plan on moving out and they don’t even have a savings account? And they haven’t even paid for the trip’s expenses? Yikes. I mean, I’m fucking homeless and even my savings account is at least in the triple digits.

We’ll see, though. I just can’t wait until I’m 24 with a stable income, my own house, and a great career in social work.