#she as an ESA kitten she is training

[apollo-zero-one]

My mom is right and I shouldn't take my cat because she wouldn't be happy with the dogs in the new place because she's two and has never met a dog before, and she's too old to adapt and she'll miss her quiet house and she'll change when she meets the kitten and she won't be happy. I have to leave her behind. but I don't know what I'm going to do without her, that cat is my baby and my reason for living half the time, what the fuck am I going to do without my cat? Who's going to come lay in my lap when I'm bawling my eyes out? What's going to snap me out of it when I'm spiraling? She's in my lap right now and the only reason I'm not hurting myself, what am I going to do without her? How am I going to convince myself to go to work if not to provide for her? I just don't know what I'm going to do. I need a new ESA but I would feel so fucking guilty trying to replace my cat, my baby that I raised and trained and love.......

[mookybear12404]

Woke up to the best birthday gift I could have ever asked for, A FREAKING KITTEN ON MY FACE

[givelifetoaworld]

i do appreciate dogs and at one point i WAS a dog person but now i’m a cat person. my little old ass chihuahua who is somehow still kickin is my best little buddy, but she’s pretty much the only dog i can tolerate for more than like 10 minutes BECAUSE she’s been my ESA for years and i’ve had her since i was a preteen. however.

my gf’s family recently dumped her 9 year old husky on us and she’s got a very bold personality and she’s sweet but holy SHIT she went from having a whole yard and other dogs around to NOTHING and being trapped in a basement apartment until we move so she is just. incredibly restless and annoying. we take her to the park and for multiple walks daily and she still screams and howls and tries to eat trash/whatever she can find and sheds EVERYWHERE and doesn’t listen to either of us (my gf more than me) because her family never disciplined her. in any circumstance we would have NEVER adopted such a high maintenance/moody breed but god only knows where they would have sent her if we didn’t take her. she literally got food poisoning from eating god knows what outside and to spare the details we have to rent a carpet cleaner before we move out lmao,

we are just like. appalled at how it was infinitely easier to take care of my elderly chihuahua, three cats, and five accidental kittens all at once a year and a half ago than it is to take care of an untrained senior husky. we’re doing our best to train her and are looking into a lot of different things but holy shit she is stressing us both the hell out lmao.

[septic-dr-schneep]

I need advice. Good news: my mom is suddenly serious about getting a cat! I’ve lowkey wanted a real pet for a while, and now my parents announced we’re aiming to get a kitten! Bad news: my moms aiming for an Emotional Support Animal. I was on-board at first since I am severely depressed and have suicidal thoughts sometimes, but I don’t think it’s enough to need an animal. (1/2)

shy-3po said:My mom keeps bringing up that it will cost less (waiver the pet fee of our apartment lease, not have to pay for pet-sitters since we’ll be allowed to bring it on road trips, theme park trips, even the grocery store) and I’m starting to feel like it’s just to cut cost more than actually help me-especially since I don’t Need an ESA as much as someone else would. I feel guilty for taking a trained cat from someone in a more serious situation than me. What do you think? (2/2).

That’s actually a familiar situation for me; it wasn’t my idea to get Jackiepup. My parents were the ones who suggested a service dog, not only to serve my disability needs but because I needed a living thing to connect with, that would be with me whenever I needed help or comfort. It’s not like I could emotionally connect to a cane, walker, or wheelchair, even though those would also serve stabilizing purposes.

All pets help our emotional well-being. The cat will help you. The only certification you need to get it dubbed an ESA is a letter written by a licensed mental health professional (i.e. a psychiatrist or counselor you trust) saying that you need an ESA -- which will probably help you feel better about having it too. You’ll hear straight from a professional that your need for it is legitimate.

(A side note: You and your family will have to research whether or not you actually can take it with you everywhere; not all ESAs have the same rights as fully trained service animals.)

You won’t be “taking” the cat from someone who “needs it more.” You’ll be getting a kitten! That kitten doesn’t belong to anyone else previously. It’ll belong to you. That’s your cat and no one else’s. You don’t have to feel guilty for having it. There’s an abundance of cats out there; if you have one of them, it doesn’t steal anyone’s chance. I got one puppy out of the last litter that Jackiepup’s mama had. She retired, and guess what? The breeder just got another litter from another mama she’s caring for. There’ll be other cats for other people’s needs.

If your mom’s motive is money-based more than helping you, that sounds kinda ehh. But if you get a cat and it really helps lift your spirits and it’s the pet you’ve always hoped for, and it cuts costs like your mom hopes it will -- you both get what you want. A win for you and a win for her

[edalynn]

Idk if any of you heathens remember when I posted a video of baby Juno and got crucified bc she was upset. But it sparked a dream to take in feral kittens and tame them down to give them to families that want a kitty/to find them homes etc. after raising seraph and him being given away as an ESA, I think that’s another thing I want to do. To specifically train cats to be ESAs. Or raise them to be.

[ceaderblocks]

>:(

Hhhhhhhhh my poor kitten has had consistent diarrhea since I got her from the shelter in April

I’ve done everything, and the vets can’t figure out why she keeps having it and told me they can’t approve her to come across the border with me to school as my registered ESA because they still don’t know what it is

Which means I need to find another cat for an ESA within the next week which is SUPER frustrating because I already trained Cleocatra for ESA >:(

[dragonrex]

hello! hello! i found your blog by chance (shoutout to the "graceful cat" post lol) and im actually on the list to get a cornish rex! met the breeder and the cats, it's all lovely there but i was just wondering if you had any tips/resources on leash-training a cat? i was more or less going to put it on the kitten n give 'em treats and just let him get used to it as a Thing before taking him out n about. (also cornies are So Soft but i cant compare to devons as ive never met one!)

So I’m assuming you’re getting a kitten and not an adult, so harness training will be p easy honestly. Especially with cats that are bred to be so accepting and people oriented, they’ll just kinda go along with it. I think your plan will go smoothly! I’m not sure how much this applies to a Cornish rex, but with Sigil she really needs a harness that snaps around her chest AND neck, because her head is so much bigger than her neck. Her old harness was supposed to slip over her head which.....did not work. I had to loosen it then retighten it every time I put it on her and it was obnoxious.

Also you’re very right about anxiety but I strongly suggest you do not use an ESA registry. They’re unfortunately just scams and don’t actually offer the legal protections that ESAs are entitled to. All you actually have to do is have your doctor write you a note kinda like a prescription for your pet to be an ESA, but you can learn more about ESAs and the ADA at @actuallyservicedogs

That is THE best name ever!!!!! If you ever make them a catblr pls message me so I can follow, I’ll bet they’ll be just the sweetest and I’m very excited for you!

[jojotier]

Mutualism

“Sir, would you like to see some of our newer arrivals?” The peppy saleswoman who had more or less been dragging Tsukishima around the little shelter asked, turning to him with a smile that was a little too wide to be genuine. “It’s kitten season about now, so we’ve been getting in quite a few litters in! They’d be perfect for a low maintenance companion, and... well, if you need, mousers-”

“No.” Tsukishima tiredly held up a hand, “I think that’s quite enough.” 

As it turned out, trying to find a pet that would make a good emotional support wasn’t nearly as easy as his therapist made it out to be. Of course, pretty much everything that came out of the man’s mouth was framed as a fairly simple, rational thing, so Tsukishima couldn’t actually tell whether his trouble finding something was because of his therapist or his own failings. He wouldn’t have doubted that it was the latter. 

Still, it was pretty disheartening, to go through two separate shelters and not find a single animal that he really felt much attachment to. Or maybe he was stalling, and you weren’t supposed to immediately be attached- but that didn’t sound right. 

“I’ll take a look around here, thank you.” 

“Of course- just call me over if you see anything that catches your eye!”

Tsukishima meandered off, looking at the wall of clear cages neatly staring back. More of them were occupied than those that weren’t, and soon the wall of cats (all pawing at the glass or curled up sleeping- none caught his attention, and he didn’t know what they’d be like) gave way to the taller kennel of dogs.

He hadn’t originally come for a dog- from his understanding, they were loud, rambunctious, and took far more energy to care for. Energy that Tsukishima might not always have. But he’d also heard that they made perfect emotional support animals... and it’d been advised that he get something that could provide an adequate distraction. Cats weren’t always willing to be that...

One look at a pile of shiba inu pups writhing excitedly around each other, crawling over each other and yipping as they chewed ears and paws gently told Tsukishima that anything younger than two was an absolute no-go. Not that he really had the time to train and housebreak a new puppy in the first place. He still had a job search to do. 

The older dogs provided a little bit of a variety, at least- Tsukishima would give it that. But even then, none of them stuck out in particular. There was a golden retriever that wagged its tail furiously every time he so much as looked at it, hopping up on the glass... a little nervous looking greyhound...

And there- just what dog was this, at the very end of the line?

At the end of the line of kennels, the lightbulb had started to flicker slightly, likely out of some neglect. The cage was still kept clean, but the food had been hastily thrown into the bowl as if whoever handled the animals here was afraid of something...

Against the back wall of the kennel, staring warily back at Tsukishima, was a pitbull- almost entirely white, with some splotches of dark beige fur on its stomach, paws, and head- in slightly pitiful shape. 

As clean as the animal was, there was still something staining the tan fur around its mouth, which was muzzled. It only had one eye to look back at Tsukishima with- the other was gone, with the right side of its face around the area where the socket had closed warped. No tail. Missing one foot. Even behind the muzzle, Tsukishima could hear the animal starting to growl, pressing itself further against the wall.

“... Miss? Just a moment.” 

Tsukishima only had to call and the perky saleswoman was beside him, all smiles. “Yes? Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Tell me about this dog, please.” 

Tsukishima watched the smile slide off her face as her gaze landed on the beaten up looking dog. The animal caught sight of her and growled louder, one functional eye gleaming. She cleared her throat, smiling in a way that was far more uneasy. “Well- this is Nugget. He’s eight years old and is a Pitbull mixed with something else... We aren’t sure since he’s a relatively recent arrival. And... I’m afraid I’m not comfortable allowing you to adopt him.”

Tsukishima’s brows furrowed. “And why is that, exactly?”

“Well-!” The saleswoman sputtered, trying to save face, “It’s just! We’ve been trying for weeks to find an experienced handler who could take him... You see, he’s a rescue- from a fighting ring, and- he’ll need a lot of rehabilitation. And no one will take him, because of that old myth of pitbulls being...”

“Violent.” Tsukishima understood- people didn’t want a companion that would bite back. They wanted a dog that immediately would love them, and do all the sorts of things antics that a happy dog would get up to. 

He understood. People didn’t like dealing with things if they had a violent history. But then again, people were cowards.

“Yes... but sir, we have a lovely selection of older dogs-”

“I already saw. I want this dog.” He tapped on the glass of Nugget’s kennel, and got a growl in response- but really, who wouldn’t be liable to want to snap at someone, if they were forced to wear some metal death trap around their mouth? “Nugget, right? Does he have any other medical issues?”

“I- no, but sir- I don’t think he would work as an ESA... He has a fundamental mistrust of humans! Every single volunteer that’s worked with him quit-”

“Well, let me meet him. That’s the policy here, correct?” Tsukishima didn’t have time to deal with this. He’d made up his mind. “And once that’s over with, we’ll take it from there.”

“I... there’s usually a room we set up the first meeting in, but...” The woman takes a breath. “Truth be told, everyone here is... too scared to handle that dog.”

“Then let me into this kennel, and we’ll have the meeting here.” Tsukishima stepped towards the woman, leveling an unimpressed stare. “I have other things I could be doing, miss. Don’t waste any more of my time.”

“U... Understood.” Fumbling a little with the keys in her pocket, she shakily, cautiously opened the kennel door. Nugget lunged forward, growling at the sight of her, but reared back a few steps when Tsukishima entered the small space. He ducked down a little and walked to the pitbull, before crouching down in front of him.

Tsukishima held out his hand. Dogs didn’t scratch, to his knowledge, and this one couldn’t bite at the moment. Still, best not to impose himself, in any case. The dog growled for a moment, and then, after Tsukishima didn’t move, stared. 

Tsukishima stared back for a moment, waiting. 

Finally, Nugget shuffled forward, eye landing on Tsukishima’s hand held out. He sniffed at Tsukishima’s hand for a moment. Then raised his head. The woman coughed nervously, saying, “Well, while it’s going well for now-”

“That can’t be comfortable.” Tsukishima calmly told the pitbull, ignoring the saleswoman completely. “Let’s get this off of you...”

“S-sir!! You really shouldn’t take off that muzzle-!” Too late. Tsukishima was in the middle of unlatching the device- which had to be uncomfortable. It was already uncomfortable enough, being forced not to open your mouth- he couldn’t imagine having a metal contraption like this shoved into his mouth all hours of the day, making it impossible to move...

Or well. He didn’t have to. But he’d rather not visit that thought.

Setting the metal aside, he watched passively as the animal worked its jaw for a moment, globs of drool hitting the floor. Then, those jaws suddenly opened wide and closed around Tsukishima’s hand.

The woman behind him shrieked, but Tsukishima held his free hand up placatingly. “Don’t panic. He’s just nibbling me.” It didn’t really hurt- it was just some gentle nibbling, putting slobber all over Tsukishima’s hand and leaving still more to drip into his lap. Nugget, seemingly satisfied at last, moved closer to Tsukishima and settled down, licking his hand. 

“I...! But sir, there’s blood-!”

Tsukishima blinked and looked at his hand, watching it bleed slightly from a puncture wound that Nugget was lapping at. “Hm. I suppose so- it wasn’t on purpose.”

The woman took a breath and then collected herself, trying to slip back into her overly cheerful persona. “Oh... well, he certainly seems to like you! Everyone else got bitten rather hard...”

“Did they try to pull away?” Tsukishima asked idly, using his free hand to scratch behind the rather calm dog’s ears. 

“Eh...? Well... wouldn’t anyone?”

“Hm.” Tsukishima turned back to Nugget, slowly worming his head against Tsukishima’s leg. “Anyway... the paperwork?”

“Oh! Yes sir- right away...” 

(Didn’t really know how to end it, but hey, stay tuned some other week- something tells me i’ll be writing more about Nugget and Tsuki! Still, thanks to @alemarpio for picking the name of this lil cutie <3)

[snowhaven-blog1]

when your room is a mess but your cat doesn't care she just wants you to eat something. for those of you who don't know Merlin IS an ESA only because she has a fear of other people and cat allergies are popular. she does a whole lot more than that for me. I have low blood sugar and often have trouble telling when it drops when I'm asleep or in general resting cause when I'm about to pass out it feels like I'm just sleepy. she usually stays very close by to me to sniff me and rub against me to make sure I'm ok when my blood does drop she insistently meows at me and paws at my blanket or face to wake me up and wont stop until it fully awake after that she usually will stand at the door and meow louder until I get up and follow her to the kitchen where she sits and wait for me to eats something and won't go away until I do.

she does the same thing for when I get night terrors or flashbacks but she meows till I wake up then curls up with me purring until I'm asleep again or stays by me till I can breathe normally. she always has to sleep by my bed where she can watch me and most of the night shes usually awake and keeping watch. 

funny thing is shes a rescue we got her off the streets with her kittens so I know she has no training in how to sense disabilities and panic attacks and such but she does she truly is a magical cat

[hopelesslvr]

Black Coffee Pets <3

So!!! I made this document so I could ramble about the ten animals that Tsuki and Mukuro have, just because I'm indecisive. Now, having this many animals may seem like a stretch, but Tsuki nor Mukuro want to have children, and they only work occasionally, due to being “set for life“ after graduating from Hope's Peak academy. They have the time to take care of all of their babies. This is a disclaimer! Please only get a pet if you have the time to take care of them!

Cyrus

Tsuki found Cyrus on the side of the road after coming home from a late shift at night. He was just born, the umbilical cord still attached. From there, she nursed him back to health. This was at the very beginning of Tsuki and Mukuro’s relationship, perhaps a week or two in. so, as you can imagine, having a little kitten to take care of brought them much closer. Cyrus has a bit of an attitude problem, and by that I mean he doesn’t listen to anyone but Tsuki. He’s a brat to Mukuro, and they’re always found “arguing“ if Tsuki leaves them alone for too long. That essentially consists of Mukuro playfully being mean to Cyrus, only for him to meow back. If Mukuro were to try to give Cyrus a bath, or clip his nails, he would throw a fit. so she doesn’t risk it, and just lets Tsuki take care of him. Whenever Mukuro and Tsuki are having their cute moments, he tries to interrupt to get Tsuki’s attention instead. He's very jealous of Mukuro and very pushy.

Cinnamon (Minnie)

Tsuki and Mukuro adopted Minnie from a shelter after a year or so of dating. Both of them really wanted another pet, and since they’d graduated high school and moved into an apartment together, they were finally able to have another. She was listed as aggressive when Tsuki and Mukuro adopted her, though they quickly found out that she was just defensive, given her owners were horrible people. With Tsuki and Mukuro, she’s a spoiled brat, though very much sweet. On occasion, she does get into a fight with Cyrus, but that’s about it. And, don’t worry, she likes Mukuro, unlike Cyrus does. She's a very affectionate and cuddly girl, almost to the point where she demands their attention whenever they’re watching a movie and cuddling or something of the sort.

Ranger

Ranger was their first puppy! He came shortly after Minnie did, as Mukuro had been struggling with the thought of leaving Tsuki alone at home defenseless. The idea of a guard dog was brought up, and she soon went looking in the shelters for a good boy to keep her girlfriend safe. Shortly after getting Ranger, Mukuro had him specially trained to act as a guard dog, and in the case of an emergency, he’s quite big and can easily maul someone with foul intentions. Even with all his training, he’s very lovey with Tsuki and Mukuro (albeit a little hostile around their friends at first). Since Tsuki is weak and hates being athletic, Ranger likes to go on runs with Mukuro to keep her company as well.

Koda

Koda was also adopted from a shelter! She's a lot like an ESA, though she’s not licensed to be one. She's just very sensitive to the girlfriends’ emotions, and tries to comfort them to the best of her ability. And by that, I mean that she goes and lays by/on them. Koda was actually a surprise from Mukuro, as she’d seen her one day on her way to work, and fell in love with her almost instantly (I mean, who wouldn’t?). It wasn't long before she was smuggling in another dog bed and food and toys and stuff. This was right after they moved into a house, though they weren’t married yet. The apartment was just getting... crowded with two cats and a dog. Not only that, but Tsuki and Mukuro were constantly getting noise complaints from the other residents in the complex for Ranger’s barking every time the mailman came/quite literally every time someone walked past the room. There had been multiple incidents where Ranger had woken Tsuki and Mukuro up in the middle of the night because someone was walking around on their floor and he happened to hear it.

Romeo

As his name suggests, Romeo is quite the ladies man. And by that, I mean he wandered right up to Tsuki and Mukuro one day when they were walking around the neighborhood, and wouldn’t leave them alone until they took him in. He'd been abandoned by his previous owners, because nobody had the time to take care of him. This made Tsuki (understandably) mad and upset. So much so, to the point where she broke down as they called the previous owners to see if they wanted him back- to which they flat out refused. She- uh, she ended up yelling at them. Why get a dog in the first place if you don’t have the time to take care of them? It's just a recipe for hurt and neglect. Soon enough, he was living with the girls and his newfound siblings, in his forever home.

Nala

Nala was a stray, and Tsuki had noticed her following her in alleyways a lot as she came home from work. and, honestly? It’s a lot more reassuring to find out that you’re being followed by a cat than a creepy person. Naturally, Tsuki got attached. Soon enough, Tsuki began to leave cat food for Nala, and then she too got attached to Tsuki. She would always follow Tsuki home, almost as if she was “protecting“ her, because Nala can be aggressive when she chooses to be. One day, Nala just followed Tsuki right inside her home without a sound, and made herself at home. Tsuki didn’t notice until about 2 am, when she woke up to meowing, but Cyrus and Minnie were both asleep. She walked down to the kitchen, where Nala had been trying to get into the cat food because she was hungry. Tsuki went to wake Mukuro up, and they kept her.

Lexie

Lexie came from a shelter, and from the moment that she entered Tsuki and Mukuro’s house, she was a brat. She demanded their attention, mostly by worming her way in between the two of them whenever they were cuddling, just to get their attention. Regarding that same thing, she only likes cuddles when she wants them, never when Tsuki or Mukuro want them. There’s nothing else to her, she’s just a cute spoiled brat.

Eve

Tsuki and Mukuro found Eve, ironically, on Halloween. Tsuki was just about to finish baking pumpkin pie, when she heard scratching at the back door. At first, she thought it was Mukuro trying to scare her, but upon further investigation, Mukuro was inside and talking with Kyoko and Celestia. So, hesitantly, Tsuki turned the light on outside. It was raining, and there was a tiny figure pawing at the door. Tsuki didn’t hesitate to let said figure in, and in came a soaking wet cat, dripping all over the floor. And Tsuki? Tsuki fell in love with her instantly. That only made Cyrus jealous, too. Eve and Cyrus are constantly at each other’s throats (not literally), play-fighting for Tsuki’s attention. The only difference is that Eve also likes Mukuro. Eve is also a cuddle bug, which was important to add.

Rarity

Rarity was found on Tsuki and Mukuro’s honeymoon, funnily enough. Her name was actually a tribute to Rarity from My Little Pony- because Tsuki and Mukuro found her holding her collar in her mouth (which had diamonds engraved in it). She was wandering in the rain and injured, as her owner had abandoned her for being “aggressive“ when really she had just puppy-nipped the owner when they were playing. Naturally, Tsuki picked her up because she has a problem when she sees animals wandering on the streets. While pit bulls are seen as aggressive dogs, Rarity is an incredibly sweet girl. She's just rather protective of her owners, so she tends to be a little hostile whenever there’s a mailman or something of the sort. They love her, though.

Casanova (Cass)

Casanova is their newest puppy! Tsuki was the one surprising Mukuro this time, because Mukuro loves huskies. so that’s what she got on her birthday! However, the surprise was spoiled, because she was barking and howling the entire way home. Typical huskies. She's a lot rowdier, given her breed, and wants to play constantly. You bet that she’s running around and howling almost all of the time- except for at night, when she tires herself out. She's a very bratty and snotty puppy, but she’s very much loved.

[trichs-n-picks]

I've read that there are some service dogs that are trained to interrupt compulsive behaviors like picking. Do you know anything about them or how someone would get one? I've been thinking about adopting a furry friend anyway, and one that could help me not pick would be awesome.

Hi! I’m really glad you asked this question. I actually have a therapy pet, also known as an emotional support animal (ESA), to help me control my BFRBs and emotional distress. I think that therapy animals are great in terms of aiding treatment. My therapy cat was never trained formally; I got her as a kitten and trained her myself (she also noticed my emotional distress and tries to distract me). Oftentimes therapy animals don’t need training, they are just great comfort and stress relief for the owner and can be recommended/prescribed by your therapist so that they can live on college campuses or no pets apartments. That being said, it is fairly easy to train a pet on your own, you just have to be extremely dedicated to setting up a routine. There are organizations that specialize in specifically training therapy animals such as TDI (therapy dogs international) that have requirements of the dog being over a year, being healthy, and having a good temperament. There is also Pet Partners, who offers online training courses with reasonable fees. I know people who have therapy rats, guinea pigs, mice, hedge hogs, rabbits, cats, dogs, horses, iguanas, and lizards. The only thing that really qualifies it for being a therapy animal is that it provides you with emotional relief from psychiatric conditions and that it is recommended by a doctor or therapist. Many of these animals are untrained and can just sense your distress and will try and distract or comfort you. My cat comes and bites me when she sees me picking or she’ll come paw at me and lay on my lap to stop me. She learned this on her own. I hope that this answers your question and that you adopt a lovely ESA of your own.-Nick    

[peaceful-pawz]

Lemme Tell You A Story/SD Vent P1

So... lemme start by saying... I never originally WANTED a SD. My doctor, my therapist and my psychiatrist all suggested I get one because of how bad I am. What I USED to do, was go around with my cat, Saru, in a pet backpack, with a harness and leash on him. No.. I didn't do this 'to be cool' or 'because I wanted to drag my cat around' like these weirdos with fake SDs that just want an excuse to bring their carry-on yapper into the store with them. I started out only doing it to help Saru with getting social interactions so that he could develop into a well rounded cat when he grew up, because he was a kitten at the time. I don't have friends and don't really get along well with my family so I didn't have any other way to socialize him. What I discovered as I brought him out more and more was something else entirely. He was a fucking UNICORN. The first sign of this, was the day a lady lead me around all day, to the point my feet hurt, I was tired and my stress level hit a high point to where I could barely move. At this time, this was before I got the backpack and was rolling him around in a pet stroller. I was so worn down I collapsed to my knees, hung my head and started to cry and whimper a little from how tired and sore I was. I was ready to give up right there. It was already dark and I was in so much pain I could barely move. That is... until I felt someone pat my head. I looked up, confused, only to see a tiny paw leaned out of the side of the stroller, with Saru peeking one eye at me and gave a small, concerned meow. Well... I was touched. This little guy was trying to cheer me up and let me know he was there for me. It moved me so much, I couldn't help but smile and found my second wind. Yes... I still hurt, but I did my best to ignore it and just get us home, knowing that this little guy was on my side and did all he could to help me feel better. This didn't stop at that either. Saru over time, started to pick up more and more on my mental and emotional state all in the span of a year. To the point that he became my... 'service cat'. What started as a means of getting him socialized, became my lifeline. It wasn't even just my mental and emotional health he looked out for either. If I was on the verge on an attack, before I even knew it, he was alerting me, meowing till I moved away from the area, opened the side of the bag and stuck my hand in so he could lick it till he was sure I was okay. If I was feeling depressed at home, he would come up and lay on my chest and purr till he felt I would be alright, as well as for anxiety attacks. If I was in pain, for any reason, he would insist I sit down or he would NOT stop meowing at me. As soon as I sat and rested, he'd calm down. If my blood sugar was too low from not eating as much as I probably should've that day(like skipping breakfast), he would meow at me till I got something to eat. Then he'd calm down. And if I didn't listen to him at any point in time? Ooooh, he'd make a stink. He'd not just meow, he'd paw and claw at the backpack relentlessly! I took him to group therapy with me for the time I went and he'd be let out but he'd always stay close by or rest on the couch and watch me. He was the joy of the group, everyone loved him and noted how attentive he was to me. The trouble is... I couldn't keep it up forever. Saru IS a cat after all. He can't BE a Service Animal legally here in the US and because of that, I was now trapped in a corner. I was told I couldn't bring him with me anymore to my therapy sessions, because the owner of the building was cracking down against ESAs. I understood... I always got lucky here because Saru always stayed in his backpack unless I was at a specific place that allowed otherwise and this is a very pet friendly town. But... it couldn't last. Even now, tho he doesn't come with me, he complains because he can't and does still look after me in the house. But... I needed to break down and do what I had been suggested so many times before at that point. Oh, I tried going out alone, I did. But it felt

like I was in a constant state of panic at all times. Attacks were more frequent and I was constantly on edge. It wasn't working... so... I backpedaled. I couldn't risk leaving the house and having frequent attacks all the time! Going anywhere that rejected him was a nightmare because the only places he WAS rejected, was the place I needed to go to get my psyc meds! With me not going tho, I did my best to at least make a way of handling it otherwise, getting it from Helping Hands, until I could get up there again. But... because I stopped going up... they aborted me from the program without warning. I was headed in a downward spiral I couldn't get out of. So... I decided to break down and try and do a SD. Its not... that I dislike dogs mind you. I adore all animals. I just didn't feel I could AFFORD a dog. But thanks to my starting to help out the local strays around here, the head person at Pet Partners decided to help me to be able to afford the dog's needs when I couldn't. I finally was training a dog and it was starting to work itself back out. But... I washed two dogs before I got to my current one. Sans, because he could NOT be trusted off-lead and Kiiro, because he'd freeze up around strangers and become unresponsive till I got him away from the situation. He wouldn't even lay in the room with a stranger if the room was too small. Kuro, my current girl was doing beautifully. If she was working, she knew to go potty and then return to me right after. She had no fear of strangers but also knew better than to let them reach for her. Kuro was doing so wonderfully! She even picked up commands really fast! But... that all started to spiral downward the moment I realized... she wasn't responding to my attacks at all. She couldn't tell when they were on the verge like Saru. Sure, I taught her DPT. She'd do it for a bit. But after a while, she'd decide that she was bored of laying in that spot and rather lay beside me, which was not helpful. I don't wanna wash her too, but if she can't smell my anxiety before I know about it then... theres not much I can do. I need to be told BEFORE it comes about. Heck, Saru even would tell people to step back if they got too close behind me to make sure I didn't have an attack. While Kuro still hasn't figured out to auto-block for me. I have to tell her to. Honestly... just writing this is making my anxiety trigger... so... I'm gonna take a break for now... lay down...