#she always has been. it was very jarring when she was 4 or 5 and unintentionally roasting us all lmfao

[mieczyhale]

josh's nieces are in town for the next week and they came over yesterday. i wasn't super up for it but it was actually a great time (not thrilled about the mess i get to clean up tho. they love to play dress up with my closet and i don't mind but nothing gets put away fjdjdj)

ANYWAY

one of them told me about her boyfriend (which was like ??!! for me) and the way she went about it was:

"(something something) my boyfriend Liam. we're having problems right now but we're working on it"

AND SHE SAID IT SO SASSY

BABYLOVE YOU ARE 9

10 IN AUGUST

WHAT DO YOU MEAN RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS FJFJSJDJ

[pigeonwhumps]

Rules

Pets of the Silver Screen masterlist

Taglist: @maracujatangerine @clairelsonao3 @whumplr-reader @whumpinggrounds @bbu-on-the-side

Multiple times over the years, Agatha learns the rules.

2.1k

CWs: BBU, pet whump, kidnapping, collar, beating, stress positions, dehumanisation, non-con nudity (non sexual)

Agatha juts her chin out, poise perfect despite the tip-toe position she's been forced into.

"My name is Miss Agatha Stanbury, daughter of Lord Kenneth Stanbury. Let me go and you may get out of this alive."

Foster Montgomery smirks, pressing his knife into her neck, blood beading along its edge.

"I think I'd rather keep you. Nobody's going to find you, certainly not after I'm finished with you." He drags his knife down her front, slitting her clothes. They mostly stay on, but it must be a very sharp knife to manage that. "Take them off."

"No."

He holds up the knife, reminding her. "What did you say?"

Agatha swallows but keeps her poise. She's going to be an actress, she can pretend she has nothing to fear.

"I said no. You have given me nothing to wear afterwards and I will not follow your disgusting commands."

"I have more suitable clothing for you later, if you earn it. But if you won't obey willingly I'll have to do it for you."

Agatha's barely had a chance to process the statement when she's slammed to the ground. All her bones are jarred and her nose explodes with agony. A boot seems to grind her into the floor as Montgomery removes her clothing piece by piece.

She hates herself for thinking it, but at least he lets her keep her knickers.

He grunts in satisfaction, and hauls her to her knees. She shoves his hands away and stands, but is back on her knees in less than a second.

"Stay." He reaches behind him and picks up a leather collar complete with tag.

Agatha doesn't move when he reaches out and buckles the suffocating leather around her throat, but not out of obedience. She just doesn't think she can.

She reaches up to touch it, but Montgomery smacks away her hand before she can.

"Don't even think about it. I'll only ever remove it if you need a punishment that might interfere with the collar somehow, so if you do so yourself I'll assume that's what you're after. But you do still deserve a punishment. Bend over."

Agatha swallows hard, the soft leather and cold metal buckle pressing against her throat. She doesn't move. She only came down for the season, she's not going to obey a kidnapper who's apparently obsessed with turning her into a pet.

He couldn't find a volunteer? There's enough of them.

She pitches forward onto her hands and knees as he pushes her over, pulling her knickers down.

"Bare flesh is best for this. Pets obey. They don't say no. They don't talk back. You need to learn this."

Agatha has never had such a thrashing in her life as she receives then. No-one's ever drawn blood before. She's not passed out enough by the end to receive a reprieve though – he orders her to clean the house, and woe betide her if he finds a speck of dust or blood.

She experiences it all as if from miles away. As if from the gathering she's supposed to be at right now, with entirely different rules. She's not in her body, most of the time, and that's probably for the best.

That day and the next, she learns the rules of being Foster Montgomery's captive.

1) Don't say no.

2) Only speak when spoken to.

3) Don't talk back.

4) Address other people as sir or ma'am.

5) Always obey immediately.

6) Don't remove your collar.

7) Punishments are always deserved, always hard, and given at the slightest provocation.

She adds an extra one from herself, too, which she knows is true. Montgomery giving her a collar is not just him being a sick bastard, it's theatre, another part of the pretense. Because even if he were to parade her in front of those she loves, everyone knows that only pets wear collars.

8) No-one's coming to my rescue. I'm not getting out of here unless I do it myself.

Over the next few months, the rules don't change. The chores are hard, and the punishments harsh, and a lot more of her is scarred now. Very little of what Montgomery does has any logic to it.

But she still can't find an escape. She fears she's sinking into it.

_

When she's hired by Hayes Fletcher, more rules are added to the list.

9) Don't talk to the other pet.

10) If you disobey, it won't just be you who's punished.

Eloise won't receive whippings, of course, and no canings during the shoot, but she can be put in stress positions, or starved, or have a bucket of water dumped over her head before being left in the unheated studio overnight. And Agatha has absolutely no desire to subject her to anything other than a good hot meal and somewhere better to sleep.

_

Rule 7 is underlined dramatically by the inspector's visit. In the aftermath, Agatha's arm and back throbbing, blood pooling on the frozen stone floor that her toes are just able to touch, Eloise whimpering from her own position, Agatha makes sure to add another two rules to herself (though the second is altered after Eloise's angry objections).

11) Don't talk about the situation to outsiders. It will only make things worse.

12) Don't break the rules. Even Only if Eloise agrees to do so.

_

Agatha could possibly escape during the transatlantic crossing. She thinks about it. Even jumping overboard might be better. But she needs to see Eloise again. Be sure that she's alive and physically unhurt (from the sinking at least, Agatha has no doubt she'll have been hurt since). Tell her that she's brave, and a hero, because if it had been anyone but fellow pets she'd saved, if she was anyone but a pet herself, her actions would've been lauded, but instead it's Hayes Fletcher who's being praised for having such a good pet. Which isn't right, it isn't fair, and Agatha can't leave Eloise on her own.

That's when Agatha solidifies the last rule for herself, that's been brewing since she first met Eloise but she's never stopped to think about it before.

13) Her and Eloise only have each other, and will always have each other.

_

Then the Great War comes.

Foster Montgomery signs up to fight. He leaves Agatha in Hayes Fletcher's care, who lends her to the munitions factory, for good publicity and probably money (money for Fletcher? Money for Montgomery? She doesn't know. But neither man is big into philanthropy). Eloise isn't there. Agatha follows the rules Montgomery has already given her, hating the fact that they keep her alive.

Another few rules are added.

14) Don't become emotional.

15) Never make a sound.

16) Just because you're working alongside people, doesn't mean you are one.

That last is... profoundly obvious, at times. When the rest of the workers get to go home at the end of their shifts and she is kept working, or if there's no-one else at all, locked in the breakroom until morning. When she's fed less than the others, or when she's beaten, or–

It's so obvious, even more so than when she was hired by Hayes Fletcher. She hates it. And she's so alone here.

The war will be over by Christmas, right?

_

1915. Foster Montgomery is dead, and Agatha desperately wishes she could thank his killer, if anybody even knows. She gets a new tattoo, signifying her ownership by Hayes Fletcher (luckily, she knows his rules, there's no new ones to learn there). The Munitions Act comes into force, and the regular bombing raids start.

Monkey's paw. She's not alone anymore, but it means that Eloise, and several other pets, have joined her in the munitions factory.

She teaches Eloise what she's learned about staying out of trouble where possible. They have a dedicated bunkroom now, pets crammed in on old bedding on the floors of the worst-maintained rooms. They learn that only a few owners have paid for their pets to be taken to air raid shelters.

Hayes Fletcher hasn't.

Night after night they spend, trying to stay calm as bombs rain down around them. Occasionally they're still chained or tied up at night, for punishments, and when that happens Agatha worries the most.

She learns one more rule.

17) Sometimes all you can do is pray.

_

The war ends. By a miracle, her and Eloise are both still alive. Hayes Fletcher goes back to producing films, albeit with less success. Agatha watches as pet liberation campaigns grow, and the next decade approaches with force. The world seems a little more hopeful, things seem to be changing.

Except for her and Eloise. Stuck with the horrible, spiteful little man, punishments getting worse as he gets more frustrated and blames them for it (or maybe he simply has nowhere else to put his anger). The world's moving on, votes for women are coming, and she can't help but think of what her life might be like if she hadn't been kidnapped all those years ago.

She remembers rule 7. And the last time was dreadful, and another attempt could get them both killed, but she mentions her rule to Eloise one night and Eloise agrees. They have to try, don't they? Sometimes, it's the only thing you can do.

A week later, the film studio burns down in the middle of the night. Arson, probably. By the time the fire brigade arrive to the burnt out husk Agatha and Eloise are already sneaking onto a train to London.

_

"If the both of you want rules, I can give you some," says Ira, clearly reluctant, "as long as we can go through the ones you already have first. Is that all right?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Ira nods. "Why don't you write me a list then? We can go through them while Eloise is busy."

Agatha takes the paper and pen she offers, wincing as she sits down, heart skipping a beat. She's still not used to it.

At the end of the session, her list reads:

1) Don't say no.

2) Only speak when spoken to.

3) Don't talk back.

4) Address people as sir or ma'am.

5) Always obey immediately.

6) Don't remove your collar.

7) Punishments are always deserved, always hard, and given at the slightest provocation.

8) No-one's coming to my rescue. I'm not getting out of here unless I do it myself.

9) Don't talk to the other pets.

10) If you disobey, it won't be just you who's punished.

11) Don't talk about the situation to outsiders. It will only make things worse.

12) Don't break the rules. Only if Eloise agrees to do so.

13) You and Eloise only have each other, and will always have each other. (Ira says she can get rid of this one partially too, but she's not so sure. Not yet)

14) Don't become emotional.

15) Never make a sound.

16) Just because you're working alongside people, doesn't mean you are one.

17) Sometimes all you can do is pray.

The new rules are easy, and straightforward, and Agatha doesn't entirely trust them. The list now reads:

1) You belong to yourself.

2) You will never be punished, no matter what you do.

3) You and Eloise only have each other, and will always have each other.

4) Sometimes all you can do is pray.

_

Agatha kneels on the floorboards, trembling. It's her turn today, Ira asked her to clean and she said yes, she's not sure why except she's so used to not being allowed to say no.

She hopes she's done well. She hopes she's done well. She hopes she won't be punished.

Ira doesn't do punishments. But all the same, she hopes she won't be punished.

There's footsteps, then they stop.

"Agatha?"

"I've finished cleaning, ma'am."

A hand on her shoulder. "Agatha, please look at me. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. Come on, look up."

Agatha obeys hesitantly. And gasps. Ira's eyes are dark and warm and how could Agatha ever have thought otherwise? Ira gets down to her level as Agatha grasps her hands tightly, pulling her into a rare hug.

"Rules one and two, Agatha."

"I belong to myself," whispers Agatha, still clutching Ira tightly, "and I will not be punished."

Ira's two rules. The only two she'll ever make.

1) I belong to myself.

2) I will never be punished, no matter what I do.

And there's a third, that Agatha has added herself, that she thinks she probably can after so long. Rule number 5, now Ira has been proven correct and number 3 has been partially removed (Agatha does not only have Eloise now).

5) Ira keeps her promises.

[skullsgrowontrees]

ARCANE SEASON 2 SPOILERS!!

.

I have a lot to say.

1) Oh my gosh, I did NOT expect Sky to hahnt the narrative like this. I'm so happy they're using her for this, I was getting bored of people saying she was a wasted character when it was obvious they were setting up something. I also wanna add (which is a little bit of a tangent but wtv) that this, to me does not confirm that Viktor had a romantic interest for Sky necessarily, but to me it shows that he did CARE about her a lot. I was getting a little upset at discussions saying that Viktor simply never cared for Sky and she only mattered when she died, since it made Viktor realize his effects on other people. She had way more of an impact on him than this (obviously, they've known each other since childhood). I don't believe he ever saw her romantically tho. Probably just go a lot more attached upon reading the confession she had written for him. Nevertheless, I am sooooo enjoying this sort of messiah persona their giving him (it lines up well with what we know of him in the games).

2) A part of me is a little sad that a Mel wasn't the one who died. Not because I hate her character, in fact, I find her to be very interesting (The stuff with her mom is ALWAYS so visceral to me???). I just think that it would have had a lot more of an impact on Jayce and probably given her mom more of a reason to be here. It also would have given the start of the season more emotional weight. Sure, I'm sad that Caitlin's mom died and I'm happy this is being used as a drive for her, but it just didn't hit me as hard as it could have. I have some thoughts on it is all.

3) Does anybody else find it kind of jarring how many musical moments there are? It's not that I dislike them or anything, but I liked that there were less of them in the first season so it felt fresh and unique to the scenes when there were. In the first episodes, I can already count like a good 3-4 of them. Just thought it was a strange decision.

4) Gosh, I am loving some of the new character's and their designs. I hope we see more of them. They look really good. In general, the show is just as, if not MORE aesthetically pleasing than in season 1. Everybody and everything just looks really nice and I'm happy that's something that wasn't slept on.

5) I really like the Sevika/Jinx alliance! OH, THAT AND THE LITTLE KID! I love the idea of putting Jinx in a sort of protector role after having every older figure in her life promise to keep her safe just to fail at it. At first, I thought it might not fit her, but I think it's a good decision.

6) Jayce and Viktor breakup part 2... Omfg, these two. THE HUG SCENE. IT'S SO... INTIMATE. The way Viktor was caressing Jayce's back, it's like the other was precious. I felt like I was interrupting something like HELLO??? "It was affection that held us together."

...IT WAS AFFECTION THAT HELD US TOGETHER. SAY FUCKING SIKE RN. I DID NOT WAIT THIS LONG FOR YOU TOO TO TENDERLY EMBRACE AGAIN JUST FOR YOU TO THROW THIS SHIT AT ME. OML. They make me sick. They make me ILL.

7) Vi is having the police effect rn (The oppressed becomes the oppressor). It was to be expected since yk, the games, but like I hate seeing it in real time. I hate seeing how little fights for it not to happen.

8) The Vi x Caitlyn stuff is real cute, but I'd be lying if I said I found the Caitlyn stuff to be very interesting at the start... I'm sorry, but we have so many things to deal with rn, how are we spending this much time over the poor girl's dead mother. It was just uninteresting to me, but it was a vehicle for the fun stuff to start, so I can't really be mad.

9) Seeing how the underground functions now that Silko is dead has been a lingering question of mine for a while and I'm happy that it was answered!

10) I was so worried the second intro wouldn't be as good and was even kinda wondering if they would just go for the same one, but I LOVE the vibes and tones set for the second! It doesn't beat the first, since that's almost an impossible task, but it's a fun treat and I am also not skipping that one when I watch an episode from now on.

11) And of course, the most important thing; EKKO LOOKS SO FUCKING FINE UGHHHHH HE FINALLY GETS MORE SCREEN TIMEEEEE!!!

LORD, HAVE MERCY.

Oh, and the Heimerdinger stuff with him is also cool ig.

[undiscovered-horizon]

Imagine being the one who releases Morpheus. - Part 5

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 6] [Part 7] [ENDING] [ALT. ENDING] || Sandman-inspired playlist

When you woke up, he wasn't there anymore but it was hardly surprising - an Eldritch king simply had to be a busy fellow. To your surprise, the mess of the previous day was long gone: jars and cans were placed inside the antique dressed, although you could only guess that they weren't sorted according to your previously established order. After all, Morpheus had no way of knowing about that.

Looking around the room, you noticed that the newspaper from the previous day lay unfolded on your desk. Weird, you thought as you recalled seeing it folded in half and untouched when your father's curse yet again attempted to take your life. You couldn't judge the informative value of the article as you didn't follow the story. Despite your lack of interest in the piece itself, there was a detail that felt like enlightenment: a picture of Ethel standing next to your father taken on an occasion you couldn't quite recall. Skimming through the article, it appeared that she was a suspect in the theft but due to no substantial evidence, the charge had been dropped.

"Of course you did, dear," you whispered to yourself already imagining the havoc Morpheus was wreaking that very moment to get his gem back. Honestly, it was an interesting affliction of his: to be simultaneously regal and ruthless. Or, perhaps, the coexistence of those traits was to be expected from a king and your anticipation for a nobleman was simply misguided.

Hours had gone by while you were naively hoping for Morpheus to come back. Your reason was telling you to forget such nonsense as he was quite adamant about not making you part of his mission to retrieve his tools. Perhaps you shouldn't be expecting to see him for another few years. A needle of sadness or longing pricked your heart. After enduring such severe loneliness, you had someone akin to a friend for a while only for him to disappear like a dream at the break of dawn. That emptiness of your house has grown so familiar to you that when it was broken for one day, it became as unbearable as it was the first time you had felt it like cold weather feels the most insufferable after one leaves the warmth of their home.

Suddenly, rushed footsteps resounded in your house - if he did come back, something terrible must have happened to elicit such loud anger from him. He marched through the kitchen and hall only to find you right where he had left you in the living room. From the very first look in his direction, you could tell that your suspicions were correct.

"You were right, Ethel did steal my ruby." Morpheus was staring at his hand as he clenched it around something. Quickly after, he shoved the said enigmatic object, most probably the aforementioned jewel, into his jacket pocket. His stare raised to meet yours and you could immediately tell there was a true storm stirring inside him. Dream's normally stern gaze appeared clouded in some strange way as if he was incapable of truly seeing the world around him at the moment. "You, humans, are so stupid and greedy, always desiring things you have no need for and lack the understanding to tame. Nothing in this universe could satiate your entitlement. You are a danger to yourself and any other living being."

His words were hurtful but not for long. As you calmly exhaled, you realized that his judgement really was clouded. Confronting Ethel must have scratched open wounds he never bothered to heal and now in a truly regal manner, the king of Dreaming was unfairly bleeding on someone who never once held a blade to his pale skin. His anger, never seeing the light of day before, rot into fiery contempt that burned his lungs with each breath. That same decayed feeling of powerlessness made him bite the hand that broke the blade with which he was cut. For some, perhaps, it could be ungratefulness but you knew better: it was fear. More than anything, Morpheus appeared terrified of having his scarce trust burnt into ashes.

"I should have killed her," he added quietly with a wavering voice. Was it truly his will or was it the rotting anger spilling from unkempt thoughts?

Dream's eyes were bloodshot and surprisingly teary. He stared at you with a clenched jaw but you didn't feel scared of him. No, the sight made your sympathy for him all the more intense. In that one moment, when those red eyes bore into you, it didn't feel like he was warning you but rather silently begging to be proved wrong, to have his hope restored in the smallest fraction. A king was pleading for your help.

"This hunger..." you slowly began as you walked towards him and carefully placed your hands on his shoulders. At first, you felt him tense up but the nervousness left his body soon after. "It isn't you." You shook your head slightly, probably without even realizing you were doing it. Despite your visible disapproval, a soft expression remained on your face. Actually, the more time you spent with Morpheus the harder it became to stare at him in any other manner.

"You do not know me, human," he bit back as he took one step backwards to get away from your touch. It was hard to say whether he hated the intimacy itself or the feelings it elicited from him.

"Perhaps I do not, at least not in the way I desire." Unconsciously, you looked away for a short moment. Your untamed imagination had freed itself and began running amok, conjuring colourful courses of events where you would be able to proudly say that you know him. "But if I have learned anything about you, dear Morpheus, it's that you are not a cruel creature. Killing Ethel for her misdeeds might be just but is it right?" Something about the way you looked at him while saying these words made Morpheus feel something akin to shame. Was he truly calloused enough to ponder murder in the presence of someone who was incapable of holding a grudge? "I know you have a heart, dear Morpheus. And I know I've touched it once."

As much as he refused to admit it, you were partially right. You didn't simply touch his heart, what nonsense such euphemism was, you cradled it with gentleness unknown to humankind. Even more! You could have stabbed his heart and Morpheus wouldn't exactly mind it. How he wished you would retort to savagery, bite into him so deep he'd bleed out on the altar of your glory just to feel your existence in his own. But no, you touched his heart, treated it as your own and handed it back to him as if you were naively expecting Morpheus to suddenly believe in the ridiculous notion that he wasn't loveable despite something - that he deserved to have his sins kissed on their eyelids.

You looked at the old clock standing on the mantlepiece above the fireplace. Oddly enough, you couldn't recall whether you had placed enough firewood inside on the previous day for it to still be burning. "It's nearly 5pm. Will you stay for tea?"

He silently sat on the ugly floral sofa as you put the kettle on the stove. For a moment, you weren't saying anything as you were preparing tea and Morpheus began reading a little too much into your quietness, pondering whether you were upset with him but soon after he'd dismiss those thoughts trying to convince himself that he didn't care. You were only a human, no matter how bizarre and he was an eldritch king, no matter how lonely. The few minutes you spent making tea felt weirdly long for him.

"The world is a calloused place, my dear," you said as you placed the tea set in front of Morpheus on the small table. "But there is a lot of good in it, too. Maybe we are incapable of making it kind in our lifetimes but neither are we permitted to abandon this quest. Not necessarily for our comfort, no, but for the better lives of those who come after us, so that their world might be a little warmer, a little kinder. So that they do not have to suffer in the ways that we did. Biscuit?"

Absentmindedly, Morpheus took the ginger biscuit from you. Although he appeared to maybe agree with you or at least he accepted the possibility of you being right, the truth was completely opposite: he was certain you could never be correct about this one thing. When you're gone, there won't be anyone 'after' - Morpheus was sure that no one like you will ever walk Earth again. And when he's gone, there won't be much of anything at all.

Then his thoughts turned bleak as he remembered the effect of the curse put on you. Those thoughts he couldn't chase away no matter how much he tried: you were going to be gone much sooner than he'd wish even if he considered the fact that you were mortal. The sweet taste of the ginger biscuit quickly turned bitter in his mouth.

Be prepared bc I'm planning a sad and dramatic ending

Tagging people who were interested in a follow-up: @rosaren2498 @jessiboobdbdb @chantzmar @lexi-anastasia @bisexualunicronrunningloose @farintonorth @oo0lady-mad0oo @all-bi-myselfs-blog @piperstofu101 @magic-magnoliaa @kotonei-molyneux @wheresmyboo @supermegapauselouca @sloanexx @rockergirl57 @aizawa-emma @ruyi-years @commanderfreethatdust @sapphireonline

[redrikki]

A Song of Ice & Fire Masterpost

The Return - Robb sends Theon home to Pyke. If you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention. (Asha Greyjoy, Balon Greyjoy)

The Headsman - When the order came, Ned sent two men to seize and bind Theon Greyjoy and another to prepare the block. The gods would know Balon Greyjoy for a kinslayer, but it would be Ned Stark swinging the sword so what did that make him? (Ned Stark, Catelyn Stark, Theon Greyjoy)

Hey, Brother - “My sons will be your new brothers,” Lord Stark promised Theon, but it was a bit more complicated than that. (Theon Greyjoy, Ned Stark, Robb Stark, Jon Snow)

Every Captain a King - Young Theon Greyjoy is made a hostage of Dragonstone. When Davos Seaworth finds him crying behind the water casks, he can’t resist playing the father. (Davos Seaworth, Theon Greyjoy)

Somewhere in the Dark -The night after witnessing his first execution, a nightmare drives Robb from his bed. Somewhere in the dark, he stumbles across Theon. (Theon Greyjoy, Robb Stark)

Empty Promises, Empty Threats - “Far be it from me to question to wisdom of your lady mother,“ Theon said, “but maybe sending the man who killed my brother to treat with my father is not the best idea.” Robb sends a different envoy to the Iron Islands. He and Theon live with the consequences. (Robb Stark, Theon Greyjoy)

Grin and Bear It - Theon attends the tourney at Lannisport following his father’s war. King Robert rubs his hair for luck as he heads to the lists. Theon hopes he dies. He hopes they all do. (Theon Greyjoy, Ned Stark, Robert Baratheon)

Strange Children in Our Bed - It had been seven long months since Catelyn’s husband had been home and in her bed. Theon Greyjoy was the only thing spoiling their reunion. (Catelyn Stark/Ned Stark, Theon Greyjoy)

The Boy in the Garden - Alayne finds a strange boy crying along in the heart of the the Eyrie’s garden. There are no gods in the godswood. Just Ned. (Sansa Stark, Ned Stark)

The Heir - After the war and the loss of their sons, Balon demands she give him a new heir. Alannys is determined to thwart him at every turn. (Alannys Greyjoy/Balon Greyjoy, Asha Greyjoy)

The Knife - The wounds on Lady Catelyn’s hands turn sour, so Theon Greyjoy takes the assassin’s knife to King’s Landing instead. Theon’s main skill has always been complicating other people’s narratives. WIP (Theon Greyjoy, Ned Stark)

Second Verse - Theon Greyjoy leaps from Winterfell’s walls and ends up in his past. Can he save the Starks from themselves? More importantly, does he even want to? (Theon Greyjoy, Jory Cassel, Jeyne Poole, Mance Rayder, Bran Stark, Robb Stark)

Little Bit Louder, Little Bit Worse - In a world where the War of the Five Kings goes very differently, Asha Greyjoy sails north to retrieve her brother. Sequel to Second Verse where a time traveling Theon Greyjoy has made some changes, not all of them for the better. (Asha Greyjoy, Theon Greyjoy, Robb Stark)

Skinchangers: A Definitive History - Selected experts from the book Skinchangers: A Definitive History by Maester Germ, being the definitive work on the nature of the art and its role in the history of Westeros from the Dawn Age through the Age of Exploration.

Words Are Wind - Fills from the 3 Sentence Ficathon

1) Theon comes back wrong 2) Jeyne will never forget her name 3) Catelyn on Ned’s unfortunate habit of child acquisition 4) Theon vs. specimen jars 5) Jeyne can’t quite forgive 6) Jeyne and the power of naming

A Meta of Ice and Fire -

Chapter 1) Why Ned would have executed Theon Chapter 2) If canon Theon didn’t bully Jon, why is it so popular in fic? Chapter 3) Westerosi and Medieval European Hostages: A Comparison Chapter 4) Comparing Robb’s book & show love interests Chapter 5) Overthinking the Common Tongue of Westeros Chapter 6) Robb as the anti-Ned Chapter 7) Comparing Viking and Ironborn thralls Chapter 8) Making sense of the Greyjoy Rebellion

[algoreithms]

A little question for you, if you had to rank the alien movies from best to least favourite? ALSO I LOVE YOUR ART, always happy to see your post

hehehe first off THANK YOUUU I appreciate it so much <3 secondly, my ranking is gonna get me creme brulee'd, flamebroiled if you will, past the first one, but its below the cut lol

1) alien

it's literally a classic and made me develop a love for sci-fi horror that has been going strong for most of my life lol. i feel it's a given it has to be my number 1

2) alien: resurrection

i know it sucks so bad and makes no damn sense canonically sometimes but... it's campy and it has wormed its way into my heart over the years. i could genuinely watch it 7 times in a day and not get bored. i also love how queer it is. ripley 8 and call should've kissed and johner and vriess DID kiss. as a bi trans dude, i definitely love those aspects bc they feel special to me. no matter how much it sucks as an actual entry in the alien anthology, i love it like an ugly christmas sweater

3) prometheus

even though it's more its own thing than a true alien movie, I adore the religious themes, scenery, and I wish there had been more exploration with shaw's character before she got dissected like a high-school science lab frog. but alas.

4) aliens

aka the second one that's named in a very confusing way. I loooove the ambiguity of how sapient the xenomorphs are in this movie. "what do you mean, they cut the power?" is still so fucking scary to this day and it's my favorite movie depiction of the xenos. it's also the first use of the term xenomorph in the franchise I think. dope ass movie, I also love ripleys funky haircut and the theme of the struggles of motherhood

5) alien: covenant

it's not my favorite because when I first watched it the pacing was very jarring compared to other slower alien movies, but I've grown quite fond of it and it's honestly iconic. I find myself thinking about specifically Covenant David's weird ass soooooo often he's such a disconcerting character.

6) alien³ or alien 3 or alien cubed or whatever

not super fond of alien 3. it's the weakest to me and the one i always forget about personally. ripleys character arc confused me and continues to confuse me even after multiple rewatches, but I will say that her look in the film is iconic and I love the buzzcut. sigourney weaver the woman that you are. not much else to say about it as once again to me it's entirely forgettable

tl;dr I live laugh love the alien anthology even if my movie preferences are deranged. ty for asking <3

[startrekprodigyfan]

Episodes 1-4

I’ve watched the first four episodes. I think I agree with the podcast interviews the creators have done that the binge format actually lends itself well to this season. Every episode leaves off with a bit of a cliffhanger and each episode is so short that you just kinda wanna keep going to find out what happens next. Waiting a week between these episodes would’ve been much more difficult to be sure. That said, I still think a more limited release schedule or maybe 5 episodes a week would’ve sufficed and stretched things out a bit longer.

Non-spoilers:

I think this season is off to a great start. They set up nicely where everyone is at for the start of the show and it’s very clear what the majority of character arcs are going to be going forward. Simultaneously there’s a lot at risk and they do a good job of making sure as the events unfold that you know exactly how bad things can get before they somehow manage to get even worse!

Spoilers under the cut:

Spoilers for episodes 1-4

Only Dal could mess up the timeline as much as he did. I do feel sorry for him. As someone who has ADHD, the testing and memorizing aspect of school work always bothered me. Dal works best when he’s allowed to flow naturally. His methods are unconventional of course, but that’s just what works best for him. I had similar struggles growing up so I definitely get what he’s going through.

Jankom’s by the book attitude felt weird to get used to but I like that it built up to his percussive maintenance. Like with Dal’s unconventional approach to being in charge, Jankom’s approach to engineering gets different types of results and I enjoy the fact these themes are linked.

I knew Gwyn would somehow make it back to the crew, but I certainly wasn’t expecting the way it happened. Of course it makes sense that evil Asencia is the reason the Vau N'Akat head towards civil war. It was nice to see Gwyn being able to connect with her father when he’s not abusive. I know many people who wish that could have been the case in their own lives. Maybe they can live that fantasy vicariously through this storyline.

I enjoyed that they set up the idea of the paradox of Dal and company being the ones to break Chakotay free… only for their interference to spectacularly backfire. That was a nice subversion of expectations.

I am having trouble with the new Vulcan cadet, not because she’s a bad character or anything… but because I’m familiar with the voice actor being a lot more… chaotic and wild. It is weird to hear Amythest from Steven Universe being so… quiet and logical. I’m sure I’ll get over it eventually it’s just a little jarring at first.

Speaking of, are they setting up a potential romance plot between her and Zero? Zero certainly seems enamored with her at the end of episode 4. There’s a lot of ways that could be interesting to watch and it’s weirdly appropriate that The Doctor is the one who gave advice on being non-corporeal yet still wishing to be close to someone.

Overall, looking forward to seeing the rest of the show!

Theory time: the mysterious figure helping get everyone together is hologram Janeway. Her code got dispersed through the temporal wormhole and she’s helping guide everyone to fixing everything.

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

"You mean, there is an immortal geologist wandering the world?"

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Yes, and she's quite mad too -- after she treated herself with the bacteria, she stopped ageing, but also became increasingly eccentric and irascible, so that even her oldest friends were forced to pull away..."

"We can assume that she has been living somewhere in the wilderness for decades now, all alone except for the *Cryobacter katlensis* coursing through her bloodstream..."

3. "What's the most dangerous cryptid?"

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "The Gnome of Geroma." She pauses for effect.

"The Gnome of Geroma? That sounds terrifying."

"The Gnome of Geroma? That doesn't sound too bad."

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Oh -- it is. None of its victims survived. Grieving relatives never even found their bodies because the Gnome's venom *dissolved* organic tissue."

"What did this cryptid look like?"

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "It *was* reportedly a small creature -- with webbed fingers and a protruding forehead. An ungainly little thing. Quite scary to look at."

"A couple of campers found it when it was already dying. They heard an odd wailing in the woods and followed the sound. They were scared and wrapped it in tarpaulin to suffocate it."

She looks at you, her voice grave suddenly. "It still took the Gnome of Geroma an entire *day* to die."

KIM KITSURAGI - "If the body of the creature was found," the lieutenant can't help himself, "why aren't there detailed illustrations of it in science textbooks? Confirming the existence of this very lethal species?"

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Alas, the first scientist who got his hands on the creature's corpse put it in a jar of formaldehyde, thinking that would detoxify the Gnome's venom."

Instead, all the venom leaked out of the creature's teeth and into the surrounding liquid, dissolving the creature itself. A poetic end, perhaps, but a real loss for science..." she says, mostly to herself.

4. "Is that a cryptid on this pen you gave me?" (Take out the pen she gave you.)

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Yes! It's the kind green ape. Half war story, half undiscovered species in the genus homo."

"War story?"

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Yes. It was reported by soldiers in South Safre during the war. The kind green ape would visit bunkers during the night, healing wounded soldiers with its saliva."

"Wow. With it's saliva?"

"And there was something about an undiscovered sub-species of man?"

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Yes. It has amazing healing qualities. Some soldiers reported growing back limbs, regaining their sight..."

"And there was something about an undiscovered sub-species of man?"

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Indeed there is! It's our closest relative among the cryptids. Same taxonomic family, different genus."

"Which is to say, the kind green ape is a species with which we share a common ancestor and that evolved parallel to our own -- just like your partner's!"

"I knew it, Kim! You're not human!"

"I'm pretty sure Kim is the same species as us... to suggest otherwise is stupid."

"Hah, that's why I always have to take the lead -- right, Kim?"

KIM KITSURAGI - The lieutenant looks at you, pleasantly surprised.

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Oh, no, I didn't mean to imply that Seolites are inferior to us. In many ways," she turns to the lieutenant, "you are superior. For example, your earwax doesn't have a foul odour like ours does."

KIM KITSURAGI - "A tremendous evolutionary advantage, I'm sure. But perhaps we've had enough speculative biology for today?"

5. "Are there any *invisible* cryptids?"

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "What an interesting question! And the answer is: yes, there are!"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Of course. All fairy tales have someone or something invisible in them."

"You're right, Kim, it's childish, but I need to know."

"Shush, Kim, she's gonna tell me about the invisible cryptid. What is it?"

KIM KITSURAGI - "Okay. I won't spoil your fun," the lieutenant concedes. "What is the invisible cryptid?"

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "It's the *Col Do Ma Ma Daqua*," the woman corrects her glasses. "Its name means 'thin whisper of sound'. And that's *precisely* what it is -- self-replicating sound waves, invisible and intangible! The Col Do Ma Ma is very afraid of us, which makes it incredibly difficult to track..."

"What does it, um, sound like?"

"Could it be *here*?" (Look around.) "Right now?"

"What evidence is there of this animal being a sound?"

"Why is the Ma Ma Daqua so afraid of us?"

"Interesting. What about..." (Conclude.)

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Like nothing. It's such a high-pitched sound that us humans can't hear it -- nor can other animals. It could be ringing right outside your window -- and you wouldn't even know it! It could be anywhere -- everywhere, even..."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Fine I'll bite." The lieutenant looks at her sceptically. "How can an animal be a sound?"

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Many scientists have asked the same question -- some have claimed that it isn't *itself* a sound, but a tiny *corpuscle* that emits sound waves. But there's no evidence to support this theory."

2. "Could it be *here*?" (Look around.) "Right now?"

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "It could be," she says calmly. "As I said, it could be *everywhere*, and we wouldn't know any better. It could be ringing all the days of our lives -- *and* nights."

3. "What evidence is there of this animal being a sound?"

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Plenty. It's the evidence that led to its discovery. In the Twenties, a group of Areopagite ornithologists -- that is, scientists who study birds -- were trying out a new recording technology for capturing sounds outside the range of human hearing."

"When playing back recordings they had made in the foothills of the Ea mountain range, they noticed... certain anomalies -- patterns that seemed random at first, but, on closer examination, were consistent with the waveforms of song birds..."

"Mhm, song birds."

Just nod eagerly.

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "The scientists soon discovered they could track and even *predict* what appeared to be feeding, mating, and migration patterns based on sound waves in a *strictly delimited* range of ultrasonic frequencies -- even higher than those of the highest-pitched bat calls."

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - She *transforms* when speaking about these strange animals -- into a confident woman.

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "They realized that they had discovered a new species -- and called it the Col Do Ma Ma Daqua. After the Perikarnassian name for the voice of god, which is said to be *very* silent."

"Wow."

"Go on."

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Mhm. They grew quite obsessed with these little birds -- even though they couldn't see them, they could distinguish among individual birds and," she smiles, "even began to *name* some of them."

"Name them?"

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Sequester. Thyme. Josquin --" She nods. "Those are but some of the Ma Ma Daqua they followed individually."

4. "Why is the Ma Ma Daqua so afraid of us?"

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "That is a sad story." She frowns. "A group of university students assisting with the field work, in their enthusiasm for the project and, no doubt, because they were preoccupied with impressing their professors, nearly drove it to *extinction*."

"Extinction?"

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - She nods gravely. "They tried to communicate with it, and had no other means but sound. So they started sending out sound waves at frequencies they thought might match the Ma Ma Daqua's. And what happens when a sound wave meets another sound wave of the same frequency, dear?"

SUGGESTION [Medium: Success] - This lady really should be a teacher. She's really good at the explaining things thing.

"They cancel each other out."

"They amplify each other."

"I don't know."

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "Exactly... And these tests were performed so recklessly that when they happened upon the right frequency... well, they wiped out most of the population."

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - Great regret washes over her. A wending cloth.

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "After that, the corpuscle appears to have migrated elsewhere. There have been recordings of anomalies similar to those spotted in Ea -- but they've been few and far between. It's impossible to confirm the presence of any stable Col Do Ma Ma Daqua population anywhere."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Of course. A common thread in these -- disappearance and unfalsifiability..." He concedes: "I liked the story, though, ma'am."

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - "I'm glad you did, dear." She seems genuinely glad.

5. "Interesting. What about..." (Conclude.)

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - She smiles gently. "What about what?"

6. "Man, I just can't get enough of these cryptids."

LENA, THE CRYPTOZOOLOGIST'S WIFE - She grins. "I'm glad you liked them, but I'm not really one to tell you about *all* of them. You should ask my husband if you get the chance. He's the real expert."

6. "That's all for now, ma'am." [Leave.]

Let's follow up with Garte about the phone.

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "Can I help you?" He arches an eyebrow.

2. "Garte, I saw another *thing* at the Whirling..."

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "Another thing -- great. I love those."

2. "So the phone line is dead?"

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "Yes, and the phone company is taking its sweet time sending someone to fix it." He shakes his head and adds: "Losers."

"That's pretty strange."

"Is it true that there was foul play?"

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "It's not *strange*, it's inconvenient."

"Is it true that there was foul play?"

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - He wrinkles his nose. "Who told you that?"

"Lena."

"I would never disclose my sources. That would be dishonourable."

"It doesn't matter. I just want to know who you suspect."

GARTE, THE CAFETERIA MANAGER - "Fine, yeah, it looked like someone had messed with the wiring. It was shortly after the hanging, but I don't know if it's at all related... Plenty of assholes around here who aren't murderers."

"If you do find out who cut the line, though, let me know so I can forward them the repair bill."

4. "Good bye." [Leave.]

The tomatoes are so thinly sliced, you can see through them.

GORACY KUBEK - A thin man is smoking below an exhaust hood, occasionally sipping from his mug. This must be the Whirling's cook.

As you step in, he nods towards the table and says something in a completely foreign language. The only words you can make out are 'gorący' and 'kubek'.

LOGIC [Medium: Failure] - It must be his name. Gorący, Gorący Kubek... Sounds representative.

[pasdasin]

Policy of Truth

new series for you guys. Risotto Nero x escort!reader a/n: Takes place after the events of part 5, about 4-5 years later. Risotto is about 10 years older than reader and reader is hired help esentially.

cw: mentions of smoking/cigarettes

~~~~

chapter one

Risotto Nero was a lonely man. Being the capo of the hitman team of one of the most powerful mafias in Italy never allowed him for much company. Especially when he knew the Don was more than a decade younger than him. The most he felt in terms of company was a warm cigarette in the palm of his hand at the end of a long and tiring day. He cared for his team, but he rather be in the company of his thoughts rather than the men that comprised the best killers in all of Passione. 

On sunday mornings, he liked to watch the exit of the catholic mass from his upper balcony. His personal, private apartment that he rented was just across the plaza from a gorgeous cathedral that took up the skyline. He rarely stayed in his apartment, knowing that his jobs and his team took up more than ninety percent of his time, but he enjoyed the quiet ten percent. Normally this would’ve been a pleasure of Buccirati, to mingle and observe the people of Naples and answer to their beck and call. People watching for the simple enjoyment of it was a pleasure he didn’t experience often in his line of work. 

He of course noticed the teenage girls who tried to catch his eye from his balcony. They would giggle to each other when Risotto would indulge them and give a small nod or wave. A scolding from their mothers usually followed while their eyes would travel up to see the handsome, pale man. He could feel the change of iron in their bodies as blush rose to their cheeks. He was an attractive guy for sure. Even from the plaza people would stop and stare at him just in pasing whenever he would take a small smoke break from his self appointed alone time. 

The buzz of his pager broke his small disassociation from reality. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the message from Giorno. Please come to the compound for a debrief asap. Risotto was always a little jarred by the use of abbreviations coming from the boss, especially in formal manners. That just must be the way kids were. After all, Giorno was only fifteen when he took over. To Risotto, he will always be a kid who got lucky. He isn’t a hardened criminal or even a killer in the way Risotto was. Shaking away those thoughts, Risotto slipped on a grey button-down shirt and black dress pants before starting his journey to the compound. 

---

“Thank you for joining us so quickly Risotto. I know its your day off” Giorno greeted the older man as he entered the room. Inside, Bruno and Polnareff sat at the table. Bruno was Giorno’s advisor. Risotto knew that Giorno only truly trusted Bruno and wouldn’t hesitate to lean on him for all and every piece of advice. Polnareff was somehow a turtle that aided Giorno and his team to defeat the old boss. He had connections to a very powerful organization and people that wouldn’t think twice about staging another coup in order to “save the world” or whatever the threat was last time. 

Risotto nodded in acknowledgement to Giorno’s greeting and sat down in his usual seat. As the four of them got situated, Giorno started the meeting.

“We have a mole in our ranks” The room grew uncomfortably silent. A mole? “It has come to my attention other familias are using this information spread by the mole in order to try and counter us and take over. They want to push the drug trade back into Naples.” 

“How did you find out about this?” Bruno asked Giorno. 

“Oh, I hired an escort.” Risotto snapped his head to Giorno. Don Giorno Giovanna, boss of the Passione crime family, a nineteen year old boy hired an escort to find this out. Giorno pulled out his pager and in the next moment, Mista opened the door to reveal a young girl, no older than Giorno himself. She walked into the room and sat in the seat closest to Giorno. 

“I apologize for my late arrival. I was at mass.” Her voice was soft and veletly. Nothing like what the crime harden men were used too. 

“It is no inconvenience to us. Men, this is y/n. She is the escort I hired for this mission.” Risotto let his eyes scan her body. Definitely dressed for church. 

“No offense Giorno,” Polnareff started. “I’m sure I speak for us all when I have to address the fact that we don’t know y/n. How can we trust her?”

“y/n is a stand user. Her stand is very useful for our purposes.” Giorno answered Polnareff as if it was common knowledge. Risotto raised his eyebrow at her. At a closer look, Risotto recognized her dress as a givenchy original. Her heels were chanel and so was her purse. A very expensive escort. Internally he rolled his eyes. “y/n’s stand allows us to know anything another person is hiding. You can’t block it. I hired her a long time ago to stay in our graces, but now she will be working closely with us in order to catch the mole.” A long silence befell the group of men. “Maybe a demonstration of her stand will cause you all to trust her.”

Giorno nodded his head towards her and she summoned her stand. Well, it was actually a cat. The cat very curiously meowed and purred as it rounded the table. Ger came out of Giorno, but instead of attack the cat, it petted her and happily stratched her head. 

“Giorno didn’t eat breakfast, he is gonna get gelato after this and then watch Jersey Shore.” You voiced Giorno’s inner plans and recalled your stand. Giorno blushed slightly and looked at you a little embarrassed. 

“You can read thoughts from ger?” Bruno asked, bewildered. 

“Yeah, like Giorno said, nothing can be blocked from me.” You answered honestly. You turned to face Risotto, taking in his handsome frame. “Can I have one of those?” You pointed to his pack of cigarettes. “I have to go to a client meeting in ten minutes.” Risotto handed her one and watched as you started to stand from your chair.

“Giorno please keep me informed on your decision for my placement. I apologize for leaving so soon.” You grabbed Giorno’s hand, bowing slightly to kiss it and bid the men a farewell. The men sat absorbing all the new information that came to them. 

“Risotto, I plan to place her in your group as a precaution. She is extremely valuable to Passione and I know you will protect her until we come up with a game plan.” Risotto nodded and Giorno called the meeting to a close. Each man went up to him and kissed his hand before making their leave. 

Risotto pondered the idea of having a girl on his team and how she could play into the way he assigned jobs. For now, all he wanted to do was go back to his balcony in his apartment and enjoy the rest of his day off. 

[helpleas]

Today was the most lovely of them all

Ok. ok it was crazy. first of all. the weather..... ohhh my god. beautiful. sunny. lovely. there was so much driving and cool breezes and giggling with glee and cute dogs and adventures and yummy snacks.

second of all. i had 2 first period spares which would usually mean i start class at 1:00pm BUT i accepted a slot to tour a family at 8:45 so i was there for that. this was my last tour of the year and i really put my all into it (it lasted AN HOUR) and i think the family actually liked me

while i was doing my tour my friend was sitting in the library and when i stopped in she lifted up her phone which read "do you want to go to tim's after this". im never one to decline a drive anywhere or coffee when i havent had breakfast. i got an apple fritter and a black iced coffee (bliss). BUT while we were there. who did i spot. but people doing fucking geomatics (the program i didnt apply to but got accepted to at waterloo) so we took a silly photo with them. then she drove me back to school and had to go to english :(

BUT she left me with our other friend who had a spare like i did. so since it was such a lovely day we skipped/ran all the way to the beltline and to the tree we discovered a couple weeks ago. sat and listened to music :)

then it was time to help our friends with their promposals. BUT there wasn't enough room in the car for everyone we needed so i climbed in the trunk. turns out i love the trunk. like a rollercoaster ride and fun and cozy and i loved it. also one of the dates hadn't ever been seen in person and was 10x hotter than photos. so amazing.

then when we got back the rest of my friends had spares and went to get boba soo i was totally bummed because i had to go to 3rd period. but when i got to 4th there was a bubble tea waiting for me (eeeeeeeek)

then i had to stay out of the house until after 5. so my friends and i went to sushi (i didnt get any bc im SKINT) so while we were sitting around waiting for a friend to get out of her ap bio exam. this rlly cute guy walked by. and 2/4 of us found him cute... but i was totally not there for that. so blah blah she tried to work up the courage to ask him out and stuff. when she finally did he had JUST walked away. but still cute good times.

so then our ap bio friend was starving and our other friend left so we all went to chipotle so me and ap bio friend could eat (used order ahead with family uber eats... very sneaky) absolutely scrumptious and i love that area of the city

+ the friend driving always rolls the windows down and my friend on aux has sublime music taste so it was just. so much fun

on the way to chipotle the 2 friends in front got the idea to go see challengers. 1 friend had already seen it but was determined to see it 3 times... so that comes up later

here i called my friend and had the funniest fucking conversation because everyone around me could only hear one half (you just woke up... oh no the dogs... chicken sandwiches... well tampon is #1..... no you don't have school tomorrow.... yeah no its next week now.... lucky i called you... the new season is out?!)

then after chipotle we drove down to the theatre and dropped one of us off along the way. and on the way there i rolled down my window to rest my head on it and look out and the wind was just so perfect and i felt so nice and i loved the song that was playing and it was just... yeahhhhhhh

also my friend called me asking to hang out on the way there and i just felt really loved

THEN OBVIOUSLY CHALLENGERS WAS AMAZING AND WHEN SHE GOES TO SEE IT FOR A 3RD TIME IM COMING. ALSO SHE BOUGHT MY TICKET BECAUSE AGAIN TOTALLY SKINT SO YIPPEE THATS A WIN. THANKS TO ALL MOM FRIENDS OUT THERE

then we listened to inhaler on the drive back to my place for some water (specifically these are the days which felt SO fitting). my friend was shuffling her favourite songs and one i showed her came up so. almost cried there. (She's a Jar- Wilco). We had been seeing really cute dogs all day because it was finally nice out enough and we saw the ultimate fluffiest friendliest dog on the drive back.

my step mom happened to arrive at the EXACT. SAME. TIME. and creepily followed us making spooky noises just to freak us out.

after a bit everyone went home but just. ugh. the day was so perfect and wonderful im like high on it. and i had to transcribe the entire thing.

[stxsis]

COMMANDER SHEPARD’S SQUAD RELATIONSHIPS RANKED #1-5/20

1. THANE KRIOS. Shepard straight up marries him. There's really no option for this in the game, but that makes no sense given end of life procedures. In order to have power of attorney and to make funeral arrangements and help Kolyat, Shepard's smartest move would have been to just marry Thane, not to mention he's the love of her life. I think the reason Thane goes right to Shepard's core is his philosophy of violence (the concept of being a living weapon) and his religious devotion (and this is a theme that will repeat throughout this list, Shepard is fairly religious and tends towards religious characters even if their religion is nothing like her own). Shepard and Thane have no secrets; he is her closest confidante and most preferred companion.

2. LIARA T'SONI. Shepard's relationship with Liara is deeply complicated. Before her death, Shepard was in love with Liara and trusted her implicitly. She found Liara to be an innocent whose moral compass always pointed due north, and the ruthless change in her personality is very jarring for Shepard because for her there's no transition from pre-death Liara to post-death Liara so it doesn't feel like the person she knows and loves, but moreover the changes in Liara's personality are clearly influenced by Shepard's own methodologies and while this might not have bothered Shepard to see in anyone else, she feels partly responsible for Liara's loss of innocence and how quickly she shifted into someone more like herself. It's also definitely a mirror of some of Shepard's more controversial traits and it's not always comfortable for her to see them in Liara. Most importantly, Shepard resents the hell out of being brought back to life. She didn't want to come back, and the fact that Liara didn't put her remains to rest and instead gave them to fucking Cerberus who she HATES is, to Shepard, a major betrayal that she never fully forgives. She understands that Liara loved her and maybe couldn't let her go. She understands that in a broader sense, Liara did what might have been necessary even. But that was her love, and her love betrayed her, even if it was for understandable reasons. Liara ranks #2 on this list because she would have been #1 before Shepard's death, and despite Shepard's complex trust issues when it comes to Liara, she's still more forthcoming with her than she would be with maybe any other companion aside from Thane. Liara knows her best, and there are parts of Shepard that still hold love for Liara, but things could never go back to the way they were before her death. As an additional caveat, Shepard mistakenly believes that Liara is romantically with Feron after the events of Shadow Broker, and even if this belief is dispelled, I'm not sure it would change anything.

3. ASHLEY WILLIAMS. Any disagreement Shepard has ever had with Ashley has been one in which Shepard 100% agrees with where Ashley is coming from. Suspicious of Benezia's daughter? Same. Suspicious of Cerberus? Same. Suspicious that Shepard has been somehow miraculously raised from the dead like some kind of Space Lazarus? GIRL SAME. Shepard is close with Ashley from the beginning of the series timeline. They share a religious devotion, a love of poetry, a less than desirable reputation that precedes them in an organization that they're both completely devoted to. Ashley and Shepard both bleed Alliance blue, and they've gone through some traumatic shit together that has bonded them for life. Ashley is Shepard's girl through and through. When she's gone for the events of ME2, Shepard is notably adrift in terms of people she's close to and trusts until she meets Thane. The only reason she ranks after Thane and Liara is because Shepard was not involved romantically with Ashley, and because after Shepard's death things obviously become really strained between them until they are reunited in the third game, when Ashley rejoins the crew.

4. JAMES VEGA. James is Shepard's bro. He is her absolute favorite work out buddy, shooting buddy, drinking buddy. The circumstances that they met under were extremely unusual and stressful, but despite the full weight of the Alliance bearing down on Shepard, Vega never once lost faith in her, and his story about a bar brawl on Omega with a gang of Batarians was probably specifically designed to make the two of them fast friends. Anderson's faith in and choice of Vega in such dire circumstances also carries a lot of weight with Shepard, given that he's the closest thing she has to a family since Mindoir. Despite the fact that he's one of the newer additions to her squad, Shepard trusts Vega considerably and not just in combat. She finds him to be a man of honor and integrity who isn't afraid to do what's necessary. He's a rare kind of person, and although she may not hold him in quite the esteem that she holds Ashley, Vega's a close second.

5. SAMARA. While I wouldn't say that Shepard and Samara have a besties dynamic, I would say that their relationship is something very deep and special. Shepard really enjoys Samara's general vibe and likes spending time with her, even if all they do is sit in silence, although they're just as likely to talk about anything and everything. Their conversations are surprisingly honest and pull no punches, and despite how formal they are with one another, they don't stand on ceremony when it comes to what's important. Shepard herself is the sort of person who very strictly adheres to a personal moral code and answers to no one but God and her own conscience (and sometimes the Alliance Systems Navy), and this holds true even when she feels abandoned by her faith and wavering in her conscience. Shepard cleaves to these structures even when she's unsure of them herself because loyalty and identity are the same for her, which is very similar to the oaths Samara takes as a justicar. There would never be a moment she would ask Samara to do something to violate her code, and Morinth never had a shot in hell of convincing Shepard to let her live. I think Shepard sees Samara's way of life as deeply relatable and honorable, but also perhaps lonely. --------------- Note: Shepard prevents Samara's suicide on Lesuss.

[oodlyenough]

Maybe it's tad early since you're still in the 5th game but whats your opinion with the new characters for the 2nd triology?

HMM. I'm going to assume you just mean the major ones and not the one-off victim/defendant types.

Honestly I think my overall impression so far (mid-AA5) is that they're varying degrees of interesting but underbaked. Some of this I expect to change as I finish 5 and 6, and some I expect... won't.

This got really long so here's a cut. Spoilers for AA4 and a bit of 5.

Trucy

I like Trucy a lot, probably my favourite of the lot, although in no small part because she's so tied to Phoenix, whom I am still more invested in than any of these other people lol. They hinted at Trucy having more complicated feelings under her very cheery, performative persona -- Phoenix comments he's the only one who knows how she "really" feels -- but it doesn't seem like we the player are ever going to get to know more about that, so :P.

It's weird that she's basically dropped into a cameo role in AA5 and been more-or-less replaced by Athena -- like -- objectively that's just a jarring transition. But for Trucy lmao I guess she's probably having a better time now, going to school and doing magic and not having to partake in case stuff anymore.

Klavier

I love Klavier, in that I am always having a good time when he's around, I find him hilarious. But as a character I think he's really underwritten. They haven't really spent any time giving him much in the way of motivation or depth or emotional response to any of the insane things that happen to him, he's just there to flirt and have a laugh. Like Trucy, he's pretty personally involved in all the events in AA4 but you'd never know it bc he very rarely reacts to them. I don't understand why the conclusion of 4 was that he quits music instead of law. He loves music. Aside from "horny", music is his entire personality. We aren't given a reason he's passionate about or interested in law nor does it seem to be tainted by Kristoph at all even though rationally it should be. So that's just... weird imo.

But I like him, he's prob my fave prosecutor after Franziska and Edgeworth. He's the kind of character I can see fandom having a lot of fun elaborating on. In AA5 he comes across like a depressed burnout, and I like that even though I think it was totally unintentional from Capcom lol. It's like when you see a celeb on tv and think "huh are they ok?" and then six months later you hear they've checked into rehab. Hang in there buddy.

Apollo

Apollo is very likable but so far has not much going on in the way of character. In AA4 I thought he felt more like Phoenix's courtroom avatar than a participant in the story, because even when he is personally implicated like with Kristoph or Thalassa, he either doesn't know or doesn't react. (Are you seeing a pattern...? lol) Unlike Trucy and Klavier, I believe Apollo will actually get more material in DD and SOJ, for better or worse, so we'll see how that changes things. I like him, but don't currently feel invested in him. If they had started DD with just Athena and Phoenix I'm not honestly sure I'd be upset about it. Sorry, Apollo.

Ema

Ema's not a "new" character although adult Ema feels pretty different to kid Ema, in a good way. Kid Ema was fun but forgettable to me -- adult Ema fucking rules lmao my favourite detective for sure, I wish we got to keep her. Cranky and competent and disillusioned. I loved her.

Kristoph

Kristoph was fun but overhyped by fandom imo. I liked him and his weird gay frienemyship with Phoenix, and in the pantheon of AA villains I see why he's pretty memorable, the 7 year gap is very rich material. But his motivations were silly and I anticipated so many better ones that didn't materialize at all lmao. I thought he was going to be some criminal mastermind building his defense empire on falsified evidence ... he just did it once and then panicked for 7 years?? Kristoph wants what Dahlia Hawthorne has.

Athena

Athena still feels like I've only just met her, so I don't have a solid opinion. I like her though. There are not enough women practicing law in this stupid franchise so I was predisoposed to like her, and I like her overzealous energy and stuff. I don't love mood matrix as a minigame, and I don't know what her tragic backstory is yet btu I know one exists, so the jury's out on that. I wish DD would just let me play her more often.

Blackquill

Blackquill is doing nothing for me lmao which, tbh, is what I expected. I find him tedious and his design is ludicrous to me I hate it lfhadhflkhfl he looks like he belongs in a different franchise. I know he's a fan fave and he's going to have some big sad backstory too, so maybe he'll win me over, but right now he's a big eye roll. I think his prison gimmick would at least be more fun if every time he cited his friends from jail they were easter eggs from previous culprits or something. Feels like a missed opportunity for gags.

Fulbright

Fulbright is... fine. Probably my least fave detective. He gets a laugh out of me once in a while. Maybe my opinion will improve as the game goes on since I fucking hated 5-2 and it's all I've really seen him in so far lol.

Misc

I think that's all the big characters I've met so far? For the one-offs, I liked Valant a lot he cracked me up. Zak was nasty and I'm not entirely sure if the game realized it or not. Thalassa continued the noble Ace Attorney tradition of hands-off motherhood. I don't have much to say about Junie as a character but I do love Athena's unfortunately-one-sided gay pining.

[wc-wild-rewrite]

Into The Wild Reread!

Its actually been like 6 years since i last fully read this series, so it was fun going back through! Overall i give it a 9/10, one point removed for slightly clunky writing and scene changes.

HOWEVER, Every single sentence that includes Spottedleaf is awful and uncomfortable, so it's actually getting an 8.5/10

Please note that i wrote the notes as i read it and have not edited them

My chapter by chapter thoughts and notes are under the cut!

Prolouge

Iconic opening prologue, but we're really stretching the definition of bracken-colored for mr reddish-brown oakheart here.

When did the clans meet otters

I wonder how Mousefur feels about the last fight alongside redtail being the one where tigerclaw saved her

"Fewer kits than normal" bluestar theres 5 of them i'd say thats a decent number, 6 if we're counting Lynxkit

I dont remember many of the prophecies but i hope they use more star ones, the shooting star is a cool one

Chapter 1

They really love their full stops huh, its slightly jarring, as someone who writes with so many commas

I still love their descriptions of the enviroment

I like how they show Rusty's ignorance towards the necesscity of prey by having his first scene be him toying a live mouse, and that being why he lost it

Rusty, collars are not supposed to pinch, your being mistreated

I dont think ive ever seen anyone remember to add the 'lightly raining' part into an animatic or comic or anything

I like to think he spotted Bluestar in the trees when he says it feels like something's in the woods

I like that rusty's sorta mean, real tween energy

They better bring this fox back

This is painfully lore-dumpy but i love greypaw's total disregard for rusty's anger. And for his disregard for clan code, talking to a kittypet when he shouldn't be. Sets up his later code breaking.

I'm always really concerned about rusty's "just sit there and look hungry" comment, like buddy why do you know that??

Lionheart is canonically handsome

I really like how majestic and respectable bluestar is shown to be in this scene, i can feel her power

Bluestar has been keeping an eye on rusty for a while, spurred by the prophecy, i'd imagine

Chapter 2

I cant tell if bluestar snapping at him so fast is because of how despserate thunderclan is in that moment, or if its a hint to how fast she can turn against people.

Rusty's willignness to look a wildcat in the eye and argue is very interesting, i see where squilf gets it from

'Young kit' i love lionheart

Chapter 3

I like to think the yellow eyes in his dream are yellowfang's

Kittypets know what hours are, i wonder if the clans do

I love smudge, poor guy

They have pine trees on thunderclan territory

I kinda like asshole longtail, hes fun

Great job longtail, you got your ass kicked by a fresh apprentice

Only finished his training two moons ago means longtail is 14 moons, and was probably a solo apprentice. I can see why Bluestar is afraid of not having enough, if the last batch of apprentices only had one.

Interesting that they were so quick to accept Firepaw, but only after he proved himself in a battle. Very telling of their culture.

Graypaw never describe Spottedleaf ever again, its very uncomfortable, "not bad looking either" you are a child

"Neither young nor pretty" this line is especially funny now that grey and dark are brothers, like yeah, thats peak little brother energy

Chapter 4

Ok whos this ginger queen, shes been mentioned twice now

Firepaw stop asking for lore a cat just died

Now i wanna see a redstar au

I like how sassy spottedleaf is with tigerclaw

Tigerclaw in this scene feels so much like Scar, i wish they kept this

I like the lore of the leader's den being carved from a river, wonder if DOTC is consistent with that

Love the sharing tongues and eating lore, the idea of older warriors inviting younger ones to eat with them being an honor

I like that the elders are perfectly fine with firepaw

Interesting that sandpaw isn't actually described as cream or sand colored, but 'pale ginger'

Again, loving the eat rituals with the apprentices eating by the stump

Sandpaw's such a bitch i love her, such a tween mean girl, i can only imagine her with a high, bratty voice

Chapter 5

Two toms sitting in a hollow a few tail lengths away cuz their not gay

Birch, ash, and oak trees are added to the 'trees thunderclan has' list

"Thats treachous talk, kittypet" says the guy who tried to take over all the clans, thus sharing a territory

I like that lionheart supports firepaw's thinking

Thunderclan smells warm, Shadowclan smells sour, Riverclan is...pungent, i guess?

Dust and Sand are such brat siblings

Love the implication that windclan and thunderclan have different stalking types due to their difference in prey, light footed for thunderclan, and maybe heavy on the back legs to make a better kick-off for a run for windclan?

Ravenpaw has been an apprentice for 2 moons, meaning hes 8 moons old, and he probably became an apprentice on the tail-end of longtail's apprenticeship, or just after his warrior ceremony

Chapter 6

Two moons passed, 8 moons old, Raven should be 10 moons

Firepaw can scale ash trees with ease

One of lionheart's favourite phrases is "surprise is the warrior's greatest weapon"

Ok good, the fox was relevant

Thunderclan cats apparently climb trees often, given that halftail apparently used to

Chapter 7

"Easy prey for yellowfang" girl why are you in third person

2 moons in and he already doesnt want to feel pity towards a clearly unwell cat, i can totally see an au where he becomes one of tigerclaw's followers

"You seem in an awful hurry to die" is one of my favourite lines

Arch-cat of stench

Chapter 8

Patrol of tigerclaw, willowpelt, darkstripe, lionheart, and bluestar. One hell of a combo

Yellowfang was spoken of for her bravery and wisdom as a medicine cat, interesting

I like the respect Spottedleaf gives Yellowfang, aware that shes another medicine cat. They've no doubt met before this.

Sympathetic eye narrowing

"We found no bodies from either clan" i call bullshit

"Usually she only trains the kits of her deputies" again, bullshit, but interesting concept

Leaders talking with all their senior warriors and not just their deputy for advice

Cultural respect for healers and elders

Chapter 9

They know the word breakfast

Little grey-and-white kit and a tabby kit, probably swift and one of the frost brothers

"Certainly no hardship being around spottedleaf again" you've exchanged about 3 sentences with her

Willowpelt in patrol with her son again

The double mouse eating scene is always so funny to me

Chapter 10

Queens line their nests with balls of down, which are apparently duck underfeathers

Wow, two-ish moons and firepaw doesnt remember smudge at all

I like the parallel between rusty & greypaw and smudge & firepaw

Its actually kind of unsettling how fast he's forgotten his old life, like wow the cult indoctronation really worked huh

Chapter 11

Ravenpaw tripping over his snake, baby boy

Fluffy gray kit, likely cinderkit, no more than 2 moons, meaning they were newborn when rusty joined

Also a tiny black kit and a tortieshell, mystery kits

Rusty's been there for almost 3 moons

Bluestar has serious trust issues huh

"I think i could grow fond of her" ok yeah i see why bluestar x yellowfang exists

Clawface and Stonefur are considered great warriors, at least to Greystripe

Chapter 12

I forget at this point in the book tigerclaw isn't actually known as a bad guy, hes just grumpy and mildly suspicious

Crookedstar is bigger than Lionheart, which means hes fuckin massive

Brokenstar has been leader for 4 moons as of this chapter, meaning he probably became leader around the time spottedleaf got her prophecy. Causation, perhaps?

Eugh can we stop describing spottedleaf as sweet scented

Ough, littlepaw was definitely lying about his age there

Lionheart banter!

Ravenpaw being a good storyteller is my favourite thing

Ah, brokenstar, you mangy bastard

I like that he paused for dramatic effect though, drama queen

I cant tell if Smallear really is deaf or if hes playing it up so he gets left alone

Chapter 13

"But even he will obey bluestar" only for 3 more books

I like that travelling to the moonstone is one of the apprentice milestones

Spottedleaf get your nose off that apprentice

Chapter 14

Leaders cannot eat before the moonstone journey, interesting

Wow, what a dickhead twoleg, also possibly drunk driving

Chapter 15

Love the idea that tigerclaw is just fucking terrified of the moonstone

So bluestar just implied tigerclaw is spiritually weak, interesting

I love the description of the moonstone, it makes it sound so ethereal

Chapter 16

Barley is short and knows Bluestar

"You are tied to your clan like a queen to her kits" oh you have no idea barley

Barley i love you and your inexplicable rat fighting skills

Firepaw knows how to put cobwebs on

This chapter implies coming back from losing a life can take hours

Chapter 17

Blackfoot you asshole put those kits down!!

Yellowfang i adore you

R.I.P rosetail, we didnt know you existed until this chapter

Nooo grandpa lionheart, poor guy

I think its this point that starts the beginning of bluestar's fall, honestly

Chapter 18

Ah, here's tigerclaw's beginning of evil, starting with appointing his cronies as bluestar's bodyguards

Ooo yellowfang still has pain from that leg injury

Wow Yellowfang just called Blackfoot a stupid tank

Darkstripe really just got call shitstripe, huh?

Oh shit, i always thought darkstripe and longtail were aware of tigerclaw's actions from the start, but hes playing them too

Chapter 19

Spottedleaf you cant just tell apprentices about prophies and not give any context

The authors really dont know how to do a scene change, huh?

Firepaw fights light-pawed

Chapter 20

I cant tell if its clunky writing or intentional but the way ravenpaw describes redtail's death is very storyteller-y

Never use the word suppleness again

Brindle really just had her kits silently huh

Elders wash their ears when their expecting rain, more lore thats never mentioned again

Really cute that whitestorm is sitting guard for his mate and kits

Its been like 4 minutes since firepaw stepped out of the nursery, brindle's in there, how the fuck did the kits get stolen

Firepaw you shared 7 sentences with her, why are you so furious

Chapter 21

Can these grown adults stop sending minors on dangerous missions

"Goodbye, my sweet spottedleaf" EW. EUGH. AUGH.

"One of brindleface's kits has a cough" considering tulipkit dies, yeah, she wasnt lying

Something something clawface being a warrior greypaw respected only for him to kill the med cat and kidnap kits

Frostfur's kits are three moons old

Chapter 22

Brokenstar makes them apprentices at three moons and warriors at five

Marigold and Mint were four moons old

Chapter 23

Third time Willowpelt and Darkstripe are in a patrol together

Oh Whitestorm, your not the smartest tom in the clan, are you

Chapter 24

Brokenstar nearly got scar-at-the-end-of-lion-kinged there

It'd be cool if mr lil tabby kit kept the ear scar, i know he doesnt tho

Chapter 25

Tigerclaw really putting on the sad dramatics there

Fireheart and Greystripe, iconic and fitting names!

My thoughts

Solid 9/10, not perfect, bit clunky, but iconic and nostalgic. Im shocked i remembered basically all of it, even tho last time i read the whole thing was about 6 years ago

I think the chapters are too short in places and cut in weird parts, and the authors cant do a scene change for the life of them, but this was 2009, so its fair. Lets just hope they improve (said the fool, foolishly)

Oh, and the spottedleaf thing was terrible and uncomfortable.

[sucktacular]

Let me give you an ask I know you'll love. Top 5 moments from death note, any version including light novels is 👌🏼

OKay this is SO late because I wasn't using my desktop for a hot second and mobile doesn't like to tell me about inbox messages, but I also didn't check so that's my bad! <3 But both of y'all asking about top 5 death note momence has me so <3 <3 <3 ; w ;

Okay so I will preface this with: it has been a very hot minute since I read LABB so as much as I'm obsessed with it entirely, I probably forgot some very good moments. u_u These are gonna be silly moments cuz I like the funnies.

Starting at number 5 and going to my favorite moment:

5. The entire time Light is under house surveillance. From the weirdly conservative and leisurely skimming of lingerie mags to look like an average, regular teen (not believable). To the famous "I'll take a potato chip... heh... AND EAT IT!" scene. Classic.

4. I think it's like 1 week max since Light had got the Death Note. Lind L. Taylor shows up on tv and Light is like ??. He introduces himself as "L", says I have a pretty good idea of why you're doing this, but "what you are doing... is evil!". And Light IMMEDIATELY is like oh FUCK this guys ENTIRE life. DIE! Which also outs his location like entirely, LOL. Idk it's just very funny to me. Anti-kira? CANCELLED... LIVE!!!

3. Light and L's fist fight(s). Love watching these homophobic gays fight each other with their bare hands and get knocked around because they're chained together. They clearly love it too and I wish they'd get their hands dirty a bit more often instead of just always using their massive brains to have dirty brain sex.

2. From the LABB Murder Cases, Chapter 5, Page 117-119: A very close second favorite part of mine is when Naomi comes up from the kitchen at a crime scene with some coffee on a tray for her and Rue Ryuzaki (private detective and Freak). She opens the door and askes if he found any more clues and then notices he's just laying in the middle of the room, flat on his back, arms and legs sprawled out like a star fish. She's frozen looking at this dude and then repeats the question and is kinda worried he's gonna start crawling around with his back arched like in some horror movie (ps. For context: she found this guy at a crime scene when she looked under the bed and he crawled out from under it (hes a seasoned on-all-fours crawler), and ate a jar of jam with his bare hands for lunch. amongst... other things. so she's already going THROUGH it with this dude). He doesn't respond and shes like uhm? and he says "I'm a corpse." "Hunh??" "I have become a corpse. I cannot answer. I am dead." She's bewildered but just accepts it and ponders how to get around this dude so she can put the coffee tray down. She eventually goes to jump over him but completely fucks it and steps, in boots, right on his gut. In an attempt to catch her balance and not spill the hot coffee on him and everywhere she puts her entire weight on him." "Gah!" said the corpse." "S-sorry!" she remarks and then they carry on. I'd give anything to be a fly on the wall with these two.

From the LABB Murder Cases, Chapter 2, Page 55-56: My favorite part of the book (tho honestly there are so many so don't quote me on that lol) is when Naomi goes into the bathroom to speak to L on the phone about the case at hand. She reports that a strange private detective is there helping her. To which L asks point blank: "Is he cool?" and shes like.... what? and he repeats the question and she's still unsure how to answer such a question, but lays it on THICK. She's dead honest and is like this guy SUCKS, he's quite honestly a PATHETIC FREAK and a WEIRDO "and I'm surprised he hasn't killed himself yet". I'm crying! She said that!! There is silence and L changes the subject back to the case. BUT the best part is she leaves the bathroom to go back to investigating and the "freak" in question (Rue Ryuzaki) is standing right there and was most likely eaves dropping on the whole conversation she just had. The whole scene has me hollering entirely and I think about this art done by @/ekmeko everyday. Link

[phoenix-downer]

Enchanted Neighborhood Chapter 1

~1380 words. Sora/Kairi. Post-Canon. Family AU, SoKai Parents AU. Reunions, Fluff, Winnie the Pooh.

This is a sequel to After Ever After and Love’s Cost. There are five chapters total and the story will update weekly on Fridays.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

Summary: Sora and Kairi take their kids on an impromptu family vacation to Radiant Garden. While they can’t visit Pooh’s storybook due to being all grown up, they still want Miyu, Haruto, and Emi to experience the magic of the Hundred Acre Wood for themselves.

“Alright, are all kids here and accounted for?” Sora asked as he powered up the Gummi Ship. Nothing like an impromptu family vacation to get everyone’s spirits up. Kairi smiled and squeezed his hand. Even after all these years, going to another world with him always felt like an adventure.

Especially because this visit was the hallmark of a lot of new changes. True, they were going to a world they’d been to dozens of times before, but the little one in her belly had shaken things up for their family quite a bit, in the best possible way. 

She glanced behind her. Miyu and Emi were carefully buckled in, but Haruto was still bouncing around the main deck.

“Haruto, seatbelt, or Dad can’t take off,” she said, and Haruto was quick to sit down and strap himself in. 

Sora grabbed a paper sack and handed it to her. “For your nausea.” 

“Thank you,” Kairi said, grateful he’d thought of this. Her previous pregnancies had trained him well. She always got morning sickness during her first trimester, and this pregnancy was continuing the trend. 

“And a snack for the trip,” he said, handing her a jar of pickled paopu. She always craved pickled paopu when she was pregnant. 

Haruto wrinkled his nose. “Ewwww, you’re eating those again Mom?” 

“Please, not when we can’t escape from the smell,” Miyu begged as she made a face. 

“Mom is carrying your new younger sibling,” Sora said, “which is the World’s most important job right now, so she gets to eat all the pickled paopu she wants.”

He smiled and squeezed Kairi’s hand, and she grinned. “I promise I won’t torture you two too badly,” she told Miyu and Haruto. “I’ll be lucky if I’m not throwing up the whole time. Morning sickness and Gummi Ships don’t make for a good combo.”

“Morning sickness?” Emi asked. “Is that another pregnancy thing?”

“Sadly, yes,” Kairi said. Emi had been very curious about the pregnancy, and she’d accidentally traumatized Sora when he found out she already knew how babies are made. A very overdramatic meltdown had followed about how someone had “ruined his baby’s innocence,” “she’s too young to know about this kind of thing,” etc.

“Sora, she has two older siblings who are teenagers,” Kairi had told him as he paced back and forth in their bedroom. “Of course she found out early.” 

“Who told her?” Sora moaned as he draped himself across the bed. “She wasn’t supposed to know till she’s older!” 

“She asked me,” Kairi said as she set her book down, and Sora’s horrified reaction would’ve made her laugh if he wasn’t so distraught over the whole thing. “And… Well, I thought it would be best if the explanation came from me.”

That had gotten him to shut up, because they both knew he would never have been able to tell her himself. He’d barely been able to tell Haruto about it without turning into a blushing, stammering mess that left Haruto more confused than anything. In the end, Kairi had to give the talk to all three of their kids instead of Sora. 

And, since the older two had witnessed Mom going through pregnancy before but Emi had not, she was naturally the most curious about it. Hence the barrage of questions about every single thing Kairi was experiencing. 

“So you get sick in the morning?” Emi clarified. 

“Most often, but it can happen anytime.” Kairi grimaced. “Especially in moving vehicles.” 

Sora gave her a sympathetic look. “I’ll do my best to make this a gentle ride.”

Her nausea proved to be about what she expected, but at last Sora was putting the Gummi Ship into the landing cycle and soon she’d be seeing the doctor. There were some excellent ones back home on Destiny Islands, but she really liked the specialist she’d seen here when she was pregnant with Emi. Plus, Aerith would have some herbs that would help with the morning sickness and other treatments to make her pregnancy more comfortable. 

“Okay, kids, we’re going on an adventure,” Sora said. He led them through the cobblestone streets of Radiant Garden to a very quirky house with a lot of heart and character. When they reached the house, a note on the door read: 

Good morning, Sora, Kairi, Miyu, Haruto, and Emi: 

I’m out for the afternoon, but you are more than welcome to make yourselves at home. The tea in the kettle is still warm and will pour you cups if you say the word. Don’t worry Kairi, it’s safe for expectant mothers. Congratulations on the new addition to the family, that’s fantastic news. Sora, I have the book you’re wanting laid out on the table. 

- Merlin

Miyu and Haruto exchanged glances.  

“How did he know we were coming?” Miyu asked.

Haruto nodded. “Yeah, and all that other stuff too.”

“He ages backwards, which means he experiences time backwards,” Kairi explained. “Our future is his past.” 

“Yup.” Sora opened the door, and sure enough, everything was just as Merlin had said. The table was set for five with tea cups for everyone, a cozy fire was lit in the fireplace, and a very special storybook was on the table. 

Sora’s face lit up when he saw it. “Pooh! Man oh man is it good to see you again.” The cover had Pooh and all of his friends on it, but Kairi noticed Sora was missing. 

Emi peered at the book. “It looks nice. Will you read it to us?”

“Oh, this isn’t just any old book,” Sora explained. “This book will take you on a fun adventure!”

Kairi nodded and squeezed Emi’s shoulder. “You and Miyu and Haruto can go together. First, you’ll become very small, then you’ll get to meet Pooh and his friends.” 

She and Sora figured that would be more exciting than sitting in the doctor’s office anyway. And the Hundred Acre Wood was safe, so Miyu and Haruto shouldn’t have any issues watching over Emi. 

Emi’s eyes lit up. “Oooooh! Will you and Daddy come too?”

Sora’s face fell for a moment before he masked his pain with a smile. “Grownups can’t visit the book. It’s not allowed.” 

Kairi still remembered the day Sora realized he wouldn’t be able to see Pooh anymore. She’d tried to comfort him as best she could, but there was always something sad about saying goodbye to an old friend. Especially because growing up was already such a bittersweet experience.

Emi tilted her head to the side. “Why can’t grownups visit?”

Kairi knelt till she was eye level with her daughter. “Grownups don’t have the heart of a child, and you have to have the heart of a child to enter. There are many good things about growing up, but there are sad things too. And this is one of them.” 

“Oh, okay,” Emi said with a frown. 

“Tell Pooh hi for me, okay?” Sora said, and Emi nodded. “Oh, and give him this.”

He dug into his pockets and pulled out a small jar of honey. Emi tilted her head and blinked, but then took the jar from him.

“Miyu, Haruto,” he said, and Haruto stopped poking the fire with his Keyblade, “use your Keyblades to enter the book, and take Emi with you. Mom and I will be back in a couple of hours.” 

Miyu took Emi’s free hand and summoned her Keyblade. “See you then.”

Haruto joined them, and a few seconds later, all three kids shrank and entered the book. Kairi rested her head on Sora’s shoulder and sighed. 

“Even though we can’t go back anymore, it’s nice that they can.”

“Yeah. They’re gonna love it.”

She searched his face. “You okay?” 

“I’ll be fine,” he said. “It’s just hard not to be sad, you know? I wish I could see Pooh and the others again.”

“I wish you could too.”

Sora kissed her head. “Thanks, Kairi. Now enough about me, let’s see how our baby is doing.” 

With that, they left Merlin’s house. The magic spells Merlin had cast would keep their kids safe from any intruders, and she and Sora wouldn’t be gone long. Time for the doctor’s visit and, if they had time before she was supposed to see Aerith about the herbs, an impromptu date. 

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A/N: I first started working on this fic a year ago and finally got back to it a;lskdjflsdf (sorry for the delay, I really did mean to get this continuation for the SoKai Family AU done sooner). Winnie the Pooh is just something that I’ve loved for a long time, it’s so wholesome and sweet, and as much as I joke about how the Hundred Acre Wood is minigame hell in the KH games, it’s also really soothing to walk around the world with the memorable music and charming characters. So naturally I wanted to set a story about Sora and Kairi’s kids here. 

Anyway, this story is dedicated to @angel-with-a-pipette and @scoobysnack1107​! Thank you for brainstorming it with me and cheering me on as I wrote it, your support means a lot ❤️ I had a lot of fun discussing the story beats with you both!

And thank you everyone for reading! See you next week!

[incompetentmedic]

So I finished watching the last episode of Demon Slayer last night, so here are my thoughts on the entire anime as a whole

[OBVIOUSLY MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD]

God that ending. Fuck. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a show successfully get me to fucking beg for a dumb bullshit plot armor deus ex machina before. I don’t care if it made no sense I don’t care if it’s bad writing I’m just happy Nezuko survived. And the sheer amount of skill it takes to make me care about a character that much is impressive.

I’m kind of sad that we didn’t get any filler in the latter seasons. I would’ve loved to see how the relationship between the main 4 changed during and after each major arc. Also I want more yaoi moments.

Jar guy’s final form is honestly kinda hot

I could write a whole essay on how effectively the writers utilized unreliable worldbuilding to show us that demons are all evil and Nezuko is the only exception, then slowly lead us to the conclusion that nonviolent demons have always existed and purposely make themselves as invisible as possible. I cannot stress enough how good the worldbuilding in this show is

I appreciate the lengths that the series goes through to humanize it’s villains and show us how the demons are pushed into lives of violence as symptoms of larger systemic issues

That being said, the “sudden backstory montage right before the monster of the week dies” starts to feel a bit lazy after the 10th time they do it. I understand that all these character backstories couldn’t succinctly fit in the first season, but it leaves us with a lot of deaths that could’ve been a lot more impactful if we had been introduced to these characters earlier. I’ll have to read the manga and see if it’s handled better

On the topic of lazy writing, I’m really not a fan of Zenitsu’s whole “sleep transformation” thing. It feels like a gimmicky way to get out of writing character growth

Back to the good stuff now. 52 episodes and the main character does not fall in love with a single person. Aros everywhere are celebrating

When I first heard the premise of the entertainment district arc, that the 3 male main characters disguise themselves as women to infiltrate a brothel, I was completely ready to drop the series. But if I’m being honest, they handled that arc just about perfectly. I obviously can’t speak for the transgender community and maybe I’m just ignorant, but the whole arc seemed pretty supportive of the concept of changing your gender. I’d argue that Zenitsu seemed a lot more happy and fulfilled as a girl than they did as a boy. The series also has one of the best depictions of sex workers I’ve seen on television

Everything in mugen train was literally perfect. I wouldn’t change a single thing about it. I hope whoever wrote that arc gets $750,000,000 in the mail and free gourmet meals forever.

I love Inosuke’s gay ass crush on Tanjiro. King shit

I complained about Zenitsu’s character arc earlier but I must admit his writing in the spider forest mini-arc was fucking phenomenal. We love it when comic relief characters experience personal growth and start to carry serious narrative weight

The way that Nezuko speaks at the very end. She speaks slowly and abruptly. She can only manage a word or two at a time, and even then only simple ones. It takes her 3 whole attempts to say her first word. Its so god damn impactful watching her stumble through speech after spending so long being physically incapable of speaking. I love that scene so much

I really hope we get a season 5. I want to know where tanjiro and Nezuko go from here. Do they stay in the corps? Do they settle down to a peaceful life, now that Nezuko is, in most respects, functionally human? Or is Nezuko not content with her current state, leading them to continue searching for a total cure? How will the more skeptical and conservative hashira react to knowing that Nezuko, who they already consider a liability, is now powerful enough to withstand direct sunlight? How will her relationships with Inosuke and Zenitsu change? All of these questions would be answered if I read the manga but I’m too lazy to do that so I’m gonna have to wait for the next season, if they make one.

Overall this was one of, if not The Best, shonen anime ever made