#she almost certainly doesnt know what the joke actually is

[queerfortress2]

pls ms pauling anything pleaseim gay im desprate im begging 😭

FINALLY PAULING ASK HELLO HI. i too, am gay and desperate. - mod medic

FEM!READER X PAULING ; GENERAL HEADCANONS

she is TRYING to use all her time off to spend time with you. keyword: try. she gets one day off a year the girl is TRYING HER BEST. but please do not expect her to be around very often. most certainly not during the day but every other night she’ll (break in) walk in to your apartment for a small at home date!

she 100% prioritises work over her own health and sanity so she does have to work on that a bit. i mean we saw in the comics she almost DIED because the administrator needed some australium (THAT SHE KNEW RAN DRY) so like. she has to work on that before really being able to take care of you as well.

what’s that? wanna pamper her? GOOD LUCK SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO TAKE THAT. i personally don’t think she can take gifts very well and will often assume you want something in return. in which she’s now scrambling to go GET something in return.

ideal date where you want to go outside? help her go throw bodies into the cave of teufort.

JOKES ASIDE, if you aren’t fucking crazy, she best place she can take you is to a diner that doesn’t close till midnight. you two are the only customers there and it is very awkward but she’s trying her very best to make it nice! maybe a late night walk back to your place (because she barely is actually in her own, i imagine it’s a mess) and watching old tapes. it’s cute. it’s comfy. it’s non murderous!

if you’re a mercenary? well, it gets a LOT EASIER. hello (probably) only female merc. you’re subjected to girls night. when not actively running and disposing of bodies she’s probably talking to you, maybe while on the phone or dealing with paperwork but i digress.

think her biggest thing is gift giving and acts of service. she can’t exactly GIVE quality time if she tried, and shes so terribly touch starved that i don’t know how she would react if you just laid on top of her. she can give words of affirmation and such but she’s not exactly good at it. just trust me she’s going to be giving more than she expects to receive.

LOOK SHES SO SAD HOW DO I MAKE HER HAVE A HAPPY LITTLE RELATIONSHIP

i’m trying

[gemini-sensei]

If we are talking about GirlCock!Tory, we have to talk about her falling for Miguel’s twin sister.

Imagine if everyone thinks she has a crush on Miguel but really it's on his twin sister Reader. Even Miguel thinks she likes him but really it's so she can get close to Reader.

Reader is almost exactly like Miguel but she a little more insecure, mostly with her body. Unlike her twin she isn't as skinny and lanky, she's more curvy and chubby. She’s thick in all the right places but she's been messed with about it since she was a kid. She was always being teased about it so she try to hide her body.

She wears Miguel’s hoodies all the time in a sad attempt to hide herself, but Tory knows what she's trying to hide under those thick hoodies.

And she likes it~

Omfg girlcock!Tory actually having a crush on Diaz!Reader instead of Miguel- I love it.

She uses a friendship with and perceived crush on Miguel to get close to his sister, especially if she doesnt do karate. Tory wants to get to know her and is always asking Miguel about her, but in subtle ways. She doesn't want him going back to Reader and saying anything to her about it. Miguel doesn't get it though and thinks Tory has a crush on him, which may or may not lead to him trying to make s move and getting rejected by her.

He plays it off though. They still hangout in and outside of the dojo. When they are doing anything with friends outside the dojo, he invites Reader and tries to include her as much as possible. If anyone tries to say anything about her weight or body, he gets huffy about it. He doesn't notice just how Tory gets pissed about it too. He thinks she's just being a good friend to his sister, which he thinks is great.

Tory loves it when Reader hangs out with them because she gets to check her out a lot. Sure, she's wearing her brother's hoodies a lot and letting them hide most of her body, but that doesn't stop Tory from imagining what's under them. The few times she gets to see Reader's body, like when they go to the beach ot a pool party, she's thankful. She loves to eat up Reader's curves with her eyes and lick her lips as she wishes she could just hold her hips or belly once. She just wants to slip her hands up Reader's hoodienand touch her, show her how beautiful her body is.

They'll hang out on their own after a while, really getting to know each other and talk without obnoxious guys around. They develop inside jokes and text all the time. Tory puts her arm around Reader a lot when they hang out and she tries to show Reader how into her she is.

It isn't made apparent to Reader until one night the dojo is having a movie night and Reader has nowhere to sit. Tory - half joking - suggests Reader sit on her lap.

"Oh, I shouldn't. I can just sit on the floor," she says, a little flustered at the idea.

"No way," Tory says and pulls her to sit down on her lap. She wraps her arms around Reader and whispers in her ear. "I don't care that you're bigger. I think it's hot."

But that isn't what seals the deal for Reader when it comes to Tory's crush on her. Instead, it's the raging hard on that pops up later in the night that pokes her ass. Halfway through the movie, Tory slowly and subtly grinds Reader's ass against her lap and groans lowly in her ear. She also feels up her thick thighs, squeezing them and making Reader warm all over.

Though she likes it a lot, Reader can't stand for this all to go down for one reason. She turns and whispers to her, "Tor, my brother's right there."

"I don't give a fuck," Tory whispers back, smirking at her. "But if you want, we can always ditch these losers."

Leaving the guys in the dark certainly isn't a bad idea and Reader would be silly not to take her up on it. So they make up some excuse as to why Tory needs to go and Reader says she's gonna go help her, when really they're driving off to go fuck in the back of Tory's car.

After that, they're spending a lot more time together.

Whenever Miguel catches Reader with hickeys on her neck, or thighs, or limping through their place, she's always so shy and never gives him a straight answer as to what happened to her. He's unsure if he ever wants to find out. And he never suspects Tory could give Reader such a limp...

[fruit-salad-ship]

Feeling unhealthy about the new BNHA AU setup.

Plum dont know whos under the gear, she sees very small glimpses of peach, to her shes just a hired guard who hits everyone harder than most, and can be hit even harder than that. She is seemingly indestructable, with an adaptive quirk and a shady history. While the girls casually, violently flirt through thinly veiled threats, and plum of course uses her quirk to get her guard to do just about anything she wants, there is only two rules with peach. 1) the mask stays on to retain her ordinary life, and 2) listen to her in situations of danger, no arguing. Beause of these rules shes kept every client shes been charged to care for alive, and remained unknown to just about everyone. Very few are aware of who she is when shes not in uniform. Plum does not know her real name, only her handle, 'kingslayer', so to plum, peach is simply 'King' most days, for ease.

BUT what if after months, even a whole year of this cat and bigger meaner cat game the girls play, peach relises she actually is worrying about plum on her days off. Shes at home in the garden wondering if she's ok, what if she gets jumped while peach isnt around? Her other guard is...ok, not the best, not the worst. Certainly doesnt meet peach's standards. She knows where plum will be, knows her shcedule, so she just...wanders over, in civillian gear, looking like a regular person. Its a farmers market, and peach is smart enough to play dumb very easily, turns after taking up a crate in her hands of fresh strawberries and bumps right into plum, knocks her drink from her hand. The little woman has NO clue shescurrently talking to her guard, the mask is off, her voice is not the one that plum hears through that thing, this is a new person for all she knows. a new person she's now grumpy with.

Peach apologises, profoundly, and offers to buy her a drink to replace the one she knocked, cover any dry cleaning costs, whatever needed, it was an honest accident (it wasnt, it was planned), and plum accepts. They go to a coffee place plum chooses, and peach says she can guess just from looking at her what her order is, shes totally turning up the charm, offering her strawberries as they go from the box she's been carrying. Plum laughs, welcomes her to try, and peach proceeds to get ALMOST the exact order plum always has, of tea, no sugar, a splash of milk. Its even her brand of tea. Plum is amused, a coffee joint and this mmystery woman picks tea. her tea. only mistake peach made (on purpose mind you to throw her off) is she likes it very milky, not just a splash. A tiny error, but the attempt was notable.

They see each other again, peach bumps into her on purpose once more on the same market day, they joke that they have to stop meeting like this, get lunch, get to know eachother, and plum cant fugure out how this woman, an apparently quirkless landscaper, with her sharp teeth and strong build, has been nothing but kind and polite, and even funny, to her? At first glance you'd think Peach is rough as anything, but shes well educated, well spoken, interesting, but shes activley taking an interest in her, and it feels genuine. Plums not about to use her quirk on this one, she actually likes the time, the attention, it feels real which is very rare given her life.

They eventually agree on a date. and one date turns into two, three, a dozen, two dozen. All the while Peach comes into work and pretends like she has no idea. Plums bossy advances while she's on the clock all but stop, she flirts and jokes a little but seems preoccupied, her mind is elsewhere, and her mood has improved. She is less snappy, and more forgiving, and Peach sees the connection, shes not blind. Plum is none the wiser about who her guard is, and Peach at this point is starting to fear that coming clean would cause problems, she started this on a whim, and it spiralled into its own thing, and now she's nervous it'll end badly with the truth coming out. But the girls get on great.

Little does Peach know, after a month of dating this mysterious coffee girl, Plum clocked who it was that she was talking to, and decided to keep quiet. Instead at work, plums dragging her guard to buy smutty underwear and askign her opinion, to which peach has to feign indifference. Plum will go off and send risky texts or even selfies while at work to peach's phone while shes on duty, the vibrate in her pocket having to be turned off. when she gets a break to catch up on her messages and emails, its all smut, filth, utterly below board, and then shes got to go back to work and pretend like that promiscuous little shit on the end of her phone isnt the woman sitting a meter from her. Peach still convinced plum doesnt know, while plum is two steps ahead of her and doing this on purpose to fluster her dear guard.

Eventually peach ends up in a fight that wrecks her mask a little, but when the dust settles and shes semi exposed, she cant look at her boss, pulling her shawl up as far as she can without losing sight, and hood down. Plum is safe, thankfully, and the enemies are dead. Her boss reaches up and takes her cheek in hand, forces her to come closer, to look at her and mutters a sweet little "you dont have to hide away under there anymore you know." The truth comes out. Peach is quiet, gets her head in order, watching her carefully. "How'd you figure it out?" Plum chuckles to herself more than anything, sits on the rubble of a wall thats half collapsed. "You laughed real loud at work one time. That mask of yours can change your voice, but theres nothing that'll hide that laugh, recognised you right away from it."

Excuse me while I hyperfocus on these two essentially villains crashing together. I could go on but the toxic dynamic to sweet trusting moments is peak. Plum had no one and nothing, and then she was a pickpocket, and then a spy, and then a nuke to any countries political scene, pulling every string needed to get what she wanted, yet she was still always alone. Until she hired just the right guard with just the right aptitude to handle her bratty behaviour.

[c-rowlesdraws]

update-- important milestone:

[1-800-c0sm1c]

꒰groovy !꒱

the phantom thieves inviting you to club velvet as their date !

character x gn!reader

includes joker , ryuji , ann + akechi !

warnings : spoilers for persona 5 and dancing in starlight !

a/n : started this months ago when i platinumed p5d lmaoo whoops , got stuck on some of the other phantom thieves so ill be making a part 2 !! hope you enjoy ^^

JOKER // REN AMAMIYA 

this smooth motherfucker. he told everyone ahead of time to practice in their rooms while he was spending time with you, as to not ruin the moment. 

he knocks on your door, inviting you out for a nice evening. (even though time hasnt been moving since you had all woken up here.) a small gift box in his right hand and a bouquet of flowers in the left. he really went all out and showed up every other phantom thief on this list. he doesnt have rank 5 charm for nothing!

you open the door, pleasantly surprised on how your boyfriend always manages to come up with spectacular date ideas in such little time. "would you care to dance, malady?" he says, trying his best to come across as charismatic as possible. the way you laugh at his request sweetly is enough to make his cheeks turn pink, but he refuses to drop the act now. "why yes actually, i would quite like that." you respond, taking the gift box and opening it. 

inside is a calling card, addressed to you. ren cant help but laugh at your reaction. he makes a joke along the lines of how hes "stealing your heart", and how it sounded a lot funnier in his head. you roll your eyes lovingly, before grabbing his hand and making your way to club velvet. 

"ive got a few ideas for new dance choreographies, would you mind accompanying me?" you nod, attempting to follow his lead as best as you can. when you inevitably trip over your own feet, hes right there to catch you in his arms before you hit the ground. he takes this as the perfect opportunity to lean down and place a soft kiss on your lips. knowing the phantom thief leader, its most likely you falling was all just part of the plan, you cant help but admire how much thought he truly puts into ever minute he spends with you.

SKULL // RYUJI SAKAMOTO 

when it comes to ryuji, youre 99% sure he only invites you to show off. morgana has been on his ass since the very begining and of course he loves you, but he loves proving that talking cat wrong just a little bit more. 

however, ryuji wants this to be memorable, no matter what the twins say. so what if youll forget everything when you wake up? his stubborn self would still try to make you remember, and he promises that. (like he'll even be able to remember anything himself,,,) 

barging through the front door of your room, he ignores the slightly annoyed questions coming from your lips. "ahh come on, its just me! hey, get this, ive got a surprise for you! dont give me that look- lets go, its in club velvet!" 

walking through the front entrance has you certainly surprised. your favorite song blaring through the speakers and the flashing lights presenting your favorite colors. its certainly impressive, especially for someone like ryuji, where most dates in the past have consisted of playing video games and watching tv. 

when you turn around to greet your boyfriend, the smug smirk on his face is almost enough to shift your whole perspective and slap him across the face. almost. instead, you pull him into a tight hug, swaying gently to the tune of the music playing in the club. you can feel morganas annoyed eyes on you, maybe ryuji wasnt as totally clueless as he thought.

PANTHER // ANN TAKAMAKI 

anns a little surprised at her own genius plan to have you try on the new outfits shes designed for your next performance together. it was the perfect excuse to get to spend some time alone together. she wants you two to be the best dressed couple club velvet has ever seen. 

you notice the way her hands tend to linger on different spots of your body while shes simply just "adjusting the outfit". by the time shes finally decided on something your face is flushed a bright red. "hey now, dont try and pretend like youve caught a cold to get out of this! were going to blow everyone away tonight!" she exclaims, stars in her eyes as she lays out the brightly colored garments. 

the cheers from the audience seem to prove anns theory right, they love the chemistry between you! when you finish shes already planning out costumes for your next dance routine, determined to make it even better. 

she treats you to a large sum of strawberry crepes as a reward for how well the performance went as she shows off her concept sketches. she loves the way you listen to her with such an attentive look on your face, it reassures her shes not boring you with her rambling. 

youre barely able to catch a break before she drags you backstage for another costume change. she promises youll get free time to spend together at the club afterwards, right now its showtime!

CROW // GORO AKECHI 

akechi literally just wouldnt even invite you, because he wasnt really invited himself. hes not entirely sure how he ended up here, and everyone around is less than willing to explain the confusing situation theyve found themselves in.

very uncharacteristically, he tends to cling to your side the whole time. to save his own ego, hell claim its because you cant trust the others after what happened back in november, but it doesnt take a rocket scientist to realize he feels like he doesnt belong here. 

if you want to dance, he wont refuse your request, but its painfully obvious hes nervous about putting himself out there again. everyone already knows his true identity, so why bother pretending like everything is okay? even if its just for one night in paradise is it really alright for him to indulge in himself? youll have to reassure him a lot, even if he dismisses your concern you dont miss the small smile on his face whenever you attempt to comfort him. 

once hes not so nervous, the charming detective prince persona is right back on again. he manages to wow the audience, no surprise there. after youre done performing hell smile and wink, stating "that was spectacular, shall we go again?" 

hes rough around the edges and a bit hot headed, but if youve managed to stay on his good side for this long (let alone be in a relationship) you know that akechi only has your best interests at heart. even if it means embarrassing himself infront of his rival.

not sure how tumblr formats its works so i hope this looks ok lmaoo fingers crossed !

[shuttershocky]

If you could make a trigger warning list for Tsukihime, what would be on it? There's a lot of people who are just getting interested in it with the remake (myself included) and I think having a tw list would be a really nice thing for those getting in now. If you can't remember every scene, a general list is good enough!

Oh boy.

Ohhhhhhhh boyyyyyyyyy.

Alright. So. A little bit of explanation: there's a reason why Nasu actually wants to remake this game. Tsukihime is by miles his darkest and most brutal work, and a lot of it is completely unnecessary edginess made by poor and almost literally starving Nasu and Takeuchi. Kara No Kyoukai wasn't exactly making waves, and the two were living on cup noodles and working other jobs to keep themselves afloat. To finish the VN Takeuchi even made Nasu quit his job and worked two in his stead (biking home in-between said jobs to do art) just so Nasu would have time to write. The nastiness of what they felt at the time is everywhere in the script, and it speaks to Nasu's talent that what came out wasn't complete edgelord garbage.

Did you ever read the original Fate/Stay Night? Did you get taken abrupt when Illya and Berserker first attack Shirou, Rin, and Saber, and Illya orders Berserker to behead Saber and rape the corpse so that Saber would rather die than continue to regenerate and fight? Did you think that kinda came out of nowhere and was unnecessary? The Realta Nua rerelease didn't just remove all the bad sex scenes, they removed lines like those entirely.

Tsukihime has waaaaaaaay more of that, and unlike Fate/Stay Night it couldn't easily edit all of them out and get rereleased without changing the story. It needed to be rebuilt from the ground up.

Personally, I've been so excited for the remake because Nasu has expressed regret before on how misogynistic his writing was before. Specifically he was asked in an interview about his focus on female characters in his works and he something like "I've been told before 'Nasu respects womens rights' because of all the powerful girls in my works, but looking back I can clearly see my own prejudices" especially singling out how Shirou treated Saber in the Fate route and how Tohno Shiki needed to get uppercut by Arcueid. I'm far more excited to see how Nasu will approach Tsukihime with that hindsight in mind more than I am about the visual and music upgrades the VN will get. I don't think Nasu wants to (or even should) remove all the problematic content of the original Tsukihime as this IS a work of horror, but a lot of editing would greatly improve the script.

Releasing Tsukihime R on PS4 isn't just a message of a console release, it's a sign that things will be different this time due to Sony's strict rules (that do not apply to its first party games apparently).

With that being said, a general trigger warning list from memory:

1.) There is a LOT of rape and sexual assault. Mentions of the act, internal narration from characters witnessing or attempting to find someone to rape, Shiki can straight up rape two of the girls on two seperate routes if he makes the wrong choice (he will be killed the day after). There's also a line where Shiki tells Ciel that if she doesn't do what he says, he'll rape her. The context there is that he's extremely weak and she can snap him like a twig so he just shouts the most hurtful thing he can think of, but it's still dumb. If I remember correctly, there's a choice that makes Shiki sexually assault Hisui and it DOESNT lead to a dead end, with most guides recommending that choice to get the CGs. I got annoyed and that's when I made my own guide for the route.

2.) Unknown to Shiki, his family's bloodline carries a powerful violent impulse to kill any non-human they see, strong enough to temporarily take over their wills and delight in murder by conflating it with sexual pleasure. The first time Shiki sees Arcueid, he falls into a trance and stalks her back home before brutally cutting her up into 17 pieces and experiences multiple orgasms while doing so. He then comes to his senses and starts vomiting and crying from what he just did and the shame of how much he enjoyed doing it. They're not taking this scene out (It's in the remake PV) but I'm preeeettyyyy sure Shiki's narration won't suddenly talk about how much his dick is loving this.

3.) Incest. Akiha is Shiki's sister. She's also a romantic interest. Technically they're adopted so it's not incest and they haven't seen each other in 8 years so it's not like they grew up together the whole time, but any tine you got to say "technically it's not incest", it's not great. I heavily doubt this is getting removed from the Remake as it's, you know, a whole route. On the other hand, Akiha has a biological brother, and he is creepy about her so that's 100% guaranteed ick right there, but fortunately he never goes far enough that you can tell if he's a sicko or if he's just really possessive of his sister.

4.) Kohaku's backstory. Koha-Ace once joked that this is the true reason the Remake took so long. It forms the backbone of Tsukihime and one of the main threads that ties everything together, but also Kohaku is the middle link between Fujino and Sakura. You can guess what that means.

5.) Heavy gaslighting, heavier drugs. Both Shiki's past and his present in the far side routes involve an almost hilarious relationship to the truth. Everyfuckingbody is lying to Shiki, and his father literally gaslights him with magic by using hypnosis to conveniently erase some traumatic memories that the old man is responsible for and replace them with falsehoods. Shiki nonchalantly talks about his terrible memory when it comes to his childhood throughout the VN, but the actual reason for that is that he got gaslit to hell and back. In the present, Shiki gets drugged out of his mind by someone in his house, and experiences long and detailed hallucinations, all the while being told by his family that nothing is going on. It becomes difficult to tell what's really going on; if he's really walking around town or if he's in bed babbling at the ceiling. It is terrifying and is a part of what gives the Far Side routes great psychological horror, but it still deserves a TW.

6.) Suicide. At least one character kills themselves onscreen.

7.) Torture. In the Ciel route, Roa tortures someone by repeatedly and slowly stabbing blades into them while Shiki is forced to watch. It goes on for a while.

8.) Grooming. This particular bit isn't a part of the Tsukihime VN itself, but more of a fandom joke thanks to Carnival Phantasm. A big part of Shiki's backstory is meeting the mage Aozaki Aoko as an 8 year old and her teaching him about life in the short time they have together. Due to Shiki's nature he almost certainly would have become an evil person, but meeting Aoko instilled a moral compass in him that is the only thing he has to fight his impulses, which is why Shiki loves his sensei so dearly. Melty Blood later made a joke that Aoko is mad she never got a route in Tsukihime, and Carnival Phantasm later had a whole scene stating the real reason Aoko cared for Shiki was that she was grooming him to be her boyfriend as soon as he turned of age. It's super gross and a perversion of what is literally the sole wholesome relationship Shiki has and the only reason there is any good in him at all. I really fucking hate this joke among all others in the Tsukihime fandom.

[suddencolds]

different anon here but omg im so happy you made a kaeya/albedo drabble.. could you write up a pt 2 where kaeya catches his cold? doesnt have to be long, anything would do if youd be so kind

😭 anon... please, have mercy. Reversed roles are my absolute ~weakness~, so just this once, I am here to deliver a fic that I didn’t spend like 300 years writing. (Thanks for the excuse to write these two!!)

[part 1] 

—

A few days pass before he sees Kaeya again.

Albedo is only at the headquarters to ask Lisa if she has any books on the medicinal uses of Liyue specialties. The meeting is a coincidence, all things considered. Kaeya is leading a group of Knights—new recruits, Albedo thinks, because he’s pretty sure those are new faces—back into the main hall.

“Captain,” one of the recruits is saying. “I’m sorry about today. I’ll do better next time.”

“Struggling with training?” Kaeya asks. “I hope you weren’t hurt.”

“I wasn’t. I just… I should have been able to dodge. Back up in Starfell Valley, when that hilichurl fired. It wasn’t hidden or anything, but I didn’t notice.”

Kaeya shakes his head. “It’s a lot to think about, right? That’s one of the tricky things about fighting with a close-range weapon. It’s not a bad thing to pay attention to whomever you’re clashing swords with. Just don’t forget to keep an eye out for enemies that are further out.”

“Got it,” the recruit says, solemn.

“Your swordsmanship has improved, though.” Kaeya adds, “I can tell you practiced. The new sword suits you.”

The recruit brightens visibly. “Thanks a lot, Captain.”

It’s not surprising, really—Kaeya has a strange talent for saying the right thing at the right time. He’s patient, too, and good at strategizing; all things considered, Albedo can’t think of someone more qualified to be training the Knights.

But Albedo isn’t here to watch. It just looks like their group is about to adjourn, and he figures he should really thank Kaeya for his help a few days ago—Kaeya is a fast learner, and an even better conversation partner. Had it not been for him, Albedo knows he would’ve been up on Dragonspine for much longer.

Currently, Kaeya is turning to address the entire group. He still hasn’t noticed Albedo’s presence, it seems.

“Great work today,” He says, then launches into a speech about strategy. It’s not a notable incident—or, it shouldn’t be—except the more he talks, the more Albedo can tell how tired he is. It’s subtle. It’s Kaeya—of course it’s subtle. But his posture looks deceptively casual—really, it looks like it’s taking all of his energy to keep himself presentable—and mid-speech, he’s actually stifling a yawn. His voice sounds slightly off, too, perhaps from overuse.

They’re all busy, Albedo knows. But he feels guilty nonetheless. He knows it had been Kaeya’s decision to help him, but still—perhaps it hadn’t been the best choice, seeing how much he still has to do.

“Captain Kaeya,” one of the other recruits interjects, after Kaeya finishes his speech. Most of the other Knights have already started to leave. “If you are free later, could I stay late to train with you today?”

And Kaeya—

—Kaeya, for some reason, hesitates. He shuts his eyes for just a second, as if he’s at war with himself, before he opens them again. This time, his smile is a little less effortless, a little more strained. “Of course. I need to get some paperwork filled out first, but I’ll meet you after.”

“Alright, thanks! I’ll wait for you outside?”

“Sure. I won’t be long.”

The recruit—oblivious to the fact that something’s wrong—turns to head towards the exit. Kaeya sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyebrows furrowed. He really looks exhausted.

Albedo wants to call out to him. He’ll say thanks, and then he’ll get out of Kaeya’s way. But then Kaeya starts off towards Jean’s office—to pick up paperwork, presumably—and stops halfway down the hall, tensing, one hand hovering over his face—

“hiiH… hiiH’ESSCH’ew!”

It sounds… rough, and tired, as if he’s been doing that all day. He sniffles, shivering, and continues walking, and Albedo knows.

He feels bad immediately. Kaeya had been kind enough to help out—of course he had, he’s selfless like that—even though he must have been busy. Meanwhile, Albedo hadn’t thought to tell him to sit further away, hadn’t been careful enough about not touching what he’d touched, hadn’t stepped away when Kaeya had insisted on walking back with him, hadn’t protested when Kaeya had lent him his scarf for the walk back through Dragonspine’s freezing weather…

...All things considered, this is most certainly Albedo’s fault.

—

“I got it, Jean,” Kaeya says, taking the pile of paperwork from her desk.

“Take it easy,” she says. “You should go straight home after this.”

Kaeya smiles tiredly at her. “Oh? I thought you didn’t want me slacking off. I can do more today, really.”

Jean rolls her eyes. “You look like you’re about to fall asleep standing. Please, for the love of Barbatos, get some rest.”

Kaeya can’t say he feels very differently than Jean says he looks. Still, even if Jean won’t ask him to stick around, the new recruits will—he likes them, but they’re still new to combat, which makes things harder on him. In between scouting domains, looking out for the younger knights, and trying to cover for the mistakes they make, perhaps he’s pushed himself just a bit.

“It’s just a cold,” he says, turning as far away from her as possible to cough into his elbow. “No one’s ever taken off work for a cold.”

“For now it is,” Jean says. “I don’t want it to turn into something worse because you won’t rest.”

“It won’t. It’s just paperwork, right? I could do that in my sleep.” And one-on-one training with a recruit. And after that, another meeting with the Knights, and a domain East of here to scout out on his own, but Jean can find out about that later when she’s reading his reports.

It’s very unfortunate that he has to sneeze.

He takes another step away from her, lifting his hand to cover.

“hiIH’EESCH’-ew!” he winces. The sneeze is loud, and it sounds almost as miserable as he feels, which means it feels far too transparent. “Hiih… hIIH… snf… hiiih’IiDDZScsh’ew! hIIIH’EZSCHh’-iu! ugh… snf…”

“Bless you,” Jean says, sighing as she passes him the tissue box on her desk. He takes a generous handful of them and before handing it back. “You sound awful.”

Kaeya laughs, pocketing the tissues. “You never fail to flatter me, Acting Grandmaster.”

“Forgive me for being worried,” Jean says flatly. “At least tell me you’ll take care of yourself.” “Of course. When do I not?”

She gives him a significant look, which is fair.

He takes the chance to leave her office. His head hurts, more than it would if he’d just had a bit too much to drink, and it’s the kind of headache that he knows is going to get much, much worse if he doesn’t take it easy. Maybe if he rushes, he can get the paperwork done before then.

The recruit he’d spoken to is waiting for him outside, he recalls. He rubs his nose, shivering, and heads for the door.

Someone is waiting for him, but it’s not the person he expects.

Kaeya musters the energy to smile. “Albedo! Did you need something?” He probably shouldn’t be taking on additional responsibilities after Jean’s already told him to take him easy, but then again, this is Albedo—whatever he needs, it must be  worth staying late for.

“I just happened to be stopping by,” Albedo starts. “I, err, wanted to ask Lisa about my research.”

“I take it that you didn’t find what you needed?”

“I did.” “Is that so?” Kaeya says, faltering—if that’s the case, he’s not sure why Albedo is still here. “Were you waiting for me, then?”

It’s supposed to be a joke, except Albedo hesitates, and Kaeya feels bad for suggesting it.

“Actually, I was,” Albedo says, which is a surprise.

Kaeya’s breath has gone unsteady again, and he rubs his nose, sniffling. Albedo, who seems not to have noticed, keeps talking.

“I wanted to tell you—”

Kaeya doesn’t want to interrupt, but colds tend to make his sneezes so jarringly unavoidable. He turns away, lifting up a hand to shield his face. “Hiiih… hiih’EESCHh’ew!” He gasps, and with a muffled sniffle, presses his hand closer to his face. “HIIH… hiiIH’IIZSCHH-uu! hIIIH’NGKT-Sshew! snf…!”

—His shoulders untense as he finally lowers his hand, fishing through his pocket for tissues. How embarrassing, he thinks, blowing his nose as softly as he can. He doesn’t exactly want to look over to Albedo to see the expression on his face—disgust, probably, or worse, pity—

“I’m sorry,” Albedo says instead.

Kaeya’s glance snaps upwards in surprise. “What?” “I was hoping you wouldn’t catch this,” he frowns, looking away. “I wasn’t careful enough. I did not intend for you to feel miserable because of me.”

What is that supposed to mean? “This isn’t because of you.”

“Captain,” Albedo starts, completely serious. “Whose cold do you think you have?”

Kaeya blinks. It’s true—he’s probably caught this from Albedo, given that he can’t think of anyone else who’s been sick lately—but that doesn’t mean that Albedo should feel guilty over it. “Colds spread. It happens, it’s not your fault.”

“I should have been more careful,” Albedo shakes his head dejectedly. “Or perhaps I should not have accepted your help at all when you offered to stay. I knew you must have had a lot of work. It was selfish of me.”

“I told you, I wanted to help,” Kaeya insists.

Albedo sighs. “You are selfless to the extent that it is detrimental sometimes.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I sent the recruit home, by the way. Really, you couldn’t have told him to wait a couple days?”

“He asked for my help.” Kaeya holds a hand up, veering away again. “I wasn’t going to deny him just because of… a… hiIH… c-cold… HIIih’EESSCHh’ew! HIIIH’GKTt!-shew!” His head throbs in protest, and he sniffles, tilting his head upwards, a fresh tissue in hand, in ticklish anticipation. “hiIIH… hiIIH’IIIZZSCH’ew!”

It takes everything in him not to slump against the wall.

“Bless you,” Albedo says. “You sound—”

“—awful?” He lowers the tissue with a laugh. “I know. Jean informed me.”

“I was going to say tired,” Albedo says, shifting forward to feel Kaeya’s forehead. His hand shifts to Kaeya’s cheek, studying him with a look of such intense concentration, Kaeya tries not to smile. “I don’t think you have a fever, but you’re warm. Allow me to walk you home?”

As enticing as the offer sounds, he shouldn’t. Everyone else is working hard—he knows if he does less work than usual, it will be Jean and Amber picking up the slack, which is the last thing he wants. “I still have lots to do.”

“It can wait until you’re well. The Knights will survive if you take a day off.” Albedo drops his hand, but he’s still looking at Kaeya with the same intensity. “I will talk to Jean, if it’s an issue.”

“Please don’t talk to Jean,” Kaeya says sheepishly. He’s sure she wouldn’t exactly be thrilled to find out about his plans to stay and work late.

Albedo raises an eyebrow. “Will you listen to me, then?”

Maybe it’s not such a bad idea, after all—he can head home, sleep this headache away, and come back in the evening. “Well,” he starts. “If… hiIIH… hiiIH’ESSCH’ew! snf-! If you insist…”

“I do.”

“...I guess I could head home early.”

It’s worth it, for the way Albedo smiles softly in response. He looks... relieved, Kaeya realizes, which is strange, too—he hadn’t expected Albedo to be so worried about him.

Kaeya starts off in the direction of his house. It’s not a long walk from the headquarters—certainly closer than the manor was, back when he’d lived there. Admittedly, it’s lonelier sometimes, living on his own.

Unexpectedly, Albedo follows him.

“You’re really walking me back,” Kaeya says, slightly disbelieving.

“Yes,” Albedo says. “Would you prefer if I didn’t?”

“It’s nice.” Kaeya sniffles, stifling a cough into a raised hand. “I hope you’re not just doing this because you feel bad about this.”

Albedo hums. “I’m not. I am quite free this afternoon, thanks to your help. I do feel bad, though.”

“Doing alchemy with you was the most exciting part of my week,” Kaeya says honestly, flashing him a grin. “I’d say it was worth catching a cold over.”

Albedo stares back at him. Then he smiles back, so brightly that Kaeya feels warmer, just looking at him. “You could come visit more often, then. I enjoy having company if it’s you.”

[kotsuvi]

WHAT THE HQ BOYS ARE LIKE DURING THANKSGIVING/FRIENDSGIVING

a/n: okay this is kinda a take on canadian/american thanksgiving—yanno with all the pumpkin pie and the turkeys and the fall colours? i just thought it would be kind of cute.

warnings: swearing, underage drinking for some

KARASUNO

daichi: told-no, COMMANDED asahi and suga to wear fall colours. like seriously wore the brown khakis with the orange sweater and little socks with turkeys on them. it’s at his house, so he insisted that suga and asahi arrive early and sit at the table together, just to make the other guests feel bad about not being dressed up. yells at the guests to stop touching his family’s ornaments and paintings. gets kita to help babysit.

suga: was actually going to dress up anyway, so he took it as the perfect chance to wear his turkey knit sweater. it has tiny little turkeys all over it like it’s so fuckin cute. lowwwwkeyyyy makes daichi blush when he sees him but like we’re not gonna talk about it. brings a delicious fruit salad that’s eaten almost singlehandedly by lev and hinata.

asahi: panics because he doesn’t have a lot of nice things to wear. like FREAKS OUT in front of his closet, close to tears. legit settles on a tan shirt, brown pants and black boots with a slight heel. definitely gets teased by tendou about keeping the beard. “keeping it intact,” he replies. brings cabbage rolls. also brings brownies, and has to fight the urge to eat them all on the way over.

nishinoya: arrives slightly late, but worth the wait. busts through the door screaming about how hungry he is. doesn’t take of his shoes in the house so he trails mud EVERYWHERE. also sneaks in a couple bottles of cider. he’s been thinking about this feast for days, and he just can’t wait. talks with his mouth full of food. probably spits mashed potatos on akaashi at some point. gets drunk off of his secret cider and asks iwa if he likes being second best to oikawa.

tanaka: arrives shortly after noya, despite saeko speeding to get there. you can literally hear him talking from ten houses away. argues with bokuto over stupid things; ends up nearly starting a food fight. eats with his fingers, literally no utensils, and doesn’t use a napkin. secretly grossing everyone out. thinks that he can win a turkey eating contest, but daichi shuts him down before he can get started. is DEDICATED to the kareoke. even sings a song for kiyoko.

hinata: so incredibly excited to eat. this kid could not SLEEP he was so excited. gets cursed with sitting next to ushiwaka and tendou, who bully him about his hair being thanksgiving colours year-round. budges everyone in line for the food. of course daichi then makes him go last. yells at kageyama for getting the best part of the turkey: the skin. atsumu tells him that ginger beer is a new type of “delicious juice” and he drinks it all, nearly throwing up afterwards. lowkey got flustered when tanaka was singing britney spears.

kageyama: tells everyone that he doesn’t want to go, but is actually extremely excited as well. for some reason he snoops through daichi’s house while everyone is eating? he just wants to take a look around, and then suddenly he’s in daichi’s parents’ bathroom, inspecting shampoo labels. literally doesn’t eat sitting still either. he just stands behind his chair? oikawa starts a rumour that he can’t sit because he has hemorrhoids, and kags responds by throwing his drink in oiks’ face. that really starts a riot. really he just wants to be standing so he can run to the kitchen and get more food in an emergency.

tsukishima: brings his headphones just in case he’s stuck next to bokuto or someone really loud and obnoxious. of course he is. bokuto AND tanaka. everyone tries to coax him into kareoke after the meal, and he declines, but really wants to prove to kuroo that he is the most angelic singer there. “accidentally” tips his drink into bokuto’s lap, but the guy is so busy yelling at tanaka that he doesn’t even notice, so tsukki tips another. goes on his phone at the table. tells tadashi to get all his meals for him because he doesn’t want to stand in line.

tadashi: goes through one (1) mental breakdown when he’s seated beside aone instead of tsukki. pours WAAAAAAY too much gravy on his meal because he’s just so nervous. like literally SWAMPS his turkey and vegetables. his mom forced him to bring a green bean casserole. he doesn’t even like casserole. sits across from oikawa and this mans won’t stop asking for photos of him and iwa, so tadashi is tasked with that for the night. offers to help daichi with the dishes afterwards. gets awarded with an extra slice of pumpkin pie.

saeko: handed her cider to noya beforehand because she just knew that daichi would check her at the door. she gets drunk halfway through anyway. challenges iwa to an arm wrestling competition. winner gets the losers pumpkin pie with EXTRA whipped cream. the sexual tension skyrockets. she wins but accidentally shoves iwa’s fist into akaashi’s cranberry sauce. gets scolded by daichi MULTIPLE times. too drunk to care.

kiyoko: also came over early. made butternut squash that is to die for. helps set up even though she knows that it’s just going to become a mess. keeps track of the points for kareoke. may or may not have given tanaka extra points for singing “i’m a slave 4 u” by britney spears.

yachi: of COURSE this girl has to sit between aone and ushiwaka. of course it works like that. and chicky is terrified. spills her drink on the nice tablecloth and pleads for kiyoko and daichi to spare her life. thinks that the kareoke is too loud. nearly craps her pants when bokuto jumps up on the table. brings glazed donuts for dessert.

coach ukai: daichi invited him just to be polite but then he??? ended up??? coming??? literally shocked everyone into the sixth dimension. says he isnt going to stay for long, but mans is there the WHOLE night. busts out with some MR. WORLDWIDE;)))!!

AOBAJOHSAI

oikawa: his one mission was to be best dressed, and judging by the appalled look on daichi’s face when he first entered, he succeeded. this mans wont shut up either, and even tho everyone yells at him, they’re actually invested in his stories. he tells a whole bunch from middle school and his earliest volleyball memories, and everyone??? likes it??? they’re intrigued the whole time. goshiki and lev listen extra hard. mans wants pictures as well. he needs to show his fans that he does actually have friends. of course he gets the photos before kags dumps the drink on his head, and then he goes feral. teases iwa about the second best comment, but apologizes to him after, assuring that iwa is an amazing ace.

iwa: only went there for oiks. the mans had plans with his family, but he knew that it meant a lot to oikawa, so he showed up. literally goes into a FIT of rage when he loses the armwrestling match, then further infuriated with noya’s comment. chases the kid around the table. nearly knocks out his teeth by tripping into a cabinet. leaves early after throwing a temper tantrum, then receives a formal apology from both oikawa and daichi later on.

matsukawa: i just know this mans smokes at family functions, so what’s stopping him from getting high at friendsgiving? of course he only smokes a lil, just enough to get a good buzz, because he wants to still be respectful. offers to refill drinks when he gets his own. helps pack up the leftovers. tries desperately to catch iwa as he chases noya around, but doesn’t succeed. he can’t really feel his fingers or his face, so he doesn’t smile or laugh like... the whole night.

hanamaki: maybe sneaks out to join mattsun. maybe. no, definitely. and he’s not used to it, so you BET this man is trippin. he tries his best to hide it, but of course suga can tell. he confuses cranberry sauce with champagne, so he literally drinks the damn sauce from a wine glass the whole night. oikawa certainly has pictures for the next morning to prove it too. 

kyoutani: doesnt get invited to a ton of things, but he decided to go to this. brings a pumpkin, which is nice, but daichi is like wtf am i meant to do with this??? but it’s a nice gesture. tries to engage in the conversation between the twins, but only gets frustrated when he can’t hear. threatens to flip the table once. cant find the bathroom and ends up taking a piss in the yard.

NEKOMA

kuroo: the one with the kareoke machine. absolutely did not tell daichi he was bringing it, but then pulls it inside. “get a load of this bad boy!!!” “kuroo what the hell is this???” i just know that everyone wants to sit beside this man at the table. he’s cracking jokes and people are straining to hear. it’s a match between him and oiks: who’s telling the better story? also won’t leave. like it’s 2am and he’s still there, swaying alongside bokuto and coach, singing early 2000’s nelly furtado.

kenma: KUROO AND HINATA CONVINCED HIM TO DYE THE TIPS OF HIS HAIR ORANGE. he HATES it. buttttt he’s keeping it even though people tell him he’s a hinata wannabe. “but why would i want to be like shoyo?” “hey kenma that’s not very nice!!” definitely plays games at the table. doesn’t even try to hide it. gets gravy on his switch and uses lev’s shirt as a napkin.

lev: this man has enough food on his plate to feed a small village. like deadass, he doesn’t slow his eating for a BREATH. he didn’t eat the whole day just so he could be extra hungry. like 3/4 of the spread is on his plate. also like cant fit his legs under the table, so he has to eat with his chair super far away. of course this man is going to be dropping food on the floor. literally has a hole in his chin because the gravy keeps dripping out whenever he speaks.

yaku: brings champagne because it’s “an exciting night”. lowkey freaks people out with how quickly he can down a bottle. has a small amount of chicken and turkey, LARGE amount of potatos, but then as many slices of pie as he can. like legit the pieces stack up on his plate. he scolds lev for making a mess, but literally litters crumbs all over the table.

FUKURODANI

bokuto: thinks that lev and him are participating in an eating contest, even tho lev has no idea what’s going on. of course this man brought his own liquor. he knows it’s time to party. legit as soon as he’s finished eating he’s busting open the bottle. towards the end of the night he’s actually dancing on the table, narrowly missing the forks and knives. daichi, suga and kita try their very best to control him, but he’s in his element. legit was throwing it back to kuroo singing “uptown girl”.

akaashi: also brought champagne but drinks it in a fancy glass. legit with the pinky up like royalty. comes in the cutest little fall knit sweater. does NOT participate in kareoke but hums along to the songs he knows. quietly makes bets with kenma on who is going to win, and he gets a couple of victories off of goshiki. also offers to do the dishes, but unlike tadashi, he doesn’t get another slice of pie because yaku ate it all. also brings daichi a card signed by him and bokuto. he’s very thankful. (sweet bb)

SHIRITORIZAWA

ushiwaka: there is no way this man isn’t excited. tbh he didn’t even think he’d get invited, and he actually ALMOST smiled when daichi offered. mans shows up in a turtleneck. TURTLENECK. legit wearing a rolex. why does he have drip? he’s got drip. for a big dude he doesn’t eat very much. threatens atsumu with his life if he ever DARES to shake salt in his champagne again. cracks a plate from gripping it too hard while waiting in line for the dessert. he’s excited, okay?

tendou: wears something weird. like a headbands with a candelabra on it or a giant turkey broach. brings a whole jug of orange juice for himself, and you bet that he finishes it within the first fifteen minutes. honestly, he probably dips his cabbage roll into the drink. also starts a conga line around the table while goshiki is singing. semi dares him to taste some of daichi’s dish soap, and of course he does it.

goshiki: NEVER HAS ANYONE EVER SEEN THIS MAN SO EXCITED. practically bouncing off the walls. eats way too fast. slips in the kitchen trying to get to the sink because he started choking on a green bean. becomes mesmerized by saeko and insists that he’s going to become the world’s best kareoke singer. picks every song about love. okay sam smith. tries to get suna to participate but receives a look that could kill. gets scared after that, but it motivates him to sing even better.

semi: practically skips the meal and goes straight for dessert. gets a harsh scolding from daichi but he doesn’t care. “accidentally” brings up the fact that ushiwaka cuts his food weirdly because he’s left handed. the whole table goes silent. semi passes away.

INARIZAKI

atsumu: literally just went to cause trouble. was he even invited? nobody knows. osamu was, but him? well. gets drunk within the first hour. tricks hinata into trying a bunch of kita’s disgusting ginger beers. constantly kicks samu under the table. throws a shoe across the room when daichi doesn’t let him have another drink. he’s loud. VERY loud. swears far too much and violently compliments daichi on the food. “this food is so fuckin good like hella delicious, i fuckin love thanksgiving! this is the shit!!”, “atsumu your brother made all the food”, “what”

osamu: just there for the food. literally made 3/4 of the dishes, including the turkey. makes fun of daichi for being the host and literally not making any of the food. “that’s embarrassing”, but really he offered to do it waaaaay before. constantly tells atsumu he has food in his teeth. over-salts suna’s turkey just because he feels like it. he’s the dude that encourages makki to drink the cranberry sauce. offers to help vacuum the floor clean of noya’s mess, but daichi is SO done with atsumu that samu just leaves early, dragging his brother with him.

suna: catches tendou drinking the dish soap. he’s not surprised. doesn’t say anything, just nods and walks away. legit doesn’t say anything to anyone tho. like mans shows up, eats and dips. has a one two conversation with ukai about court shoes, and then he’s gone. texts daichi later and thanks him, which is extremely shocking but daichi thinks it’s really nice.

kita: hates gatherings. i know this man just despises the loud and rowdy behaviour. puts mad dog in a headlock when the dude tries to fight kageyama over the turkey skin. eats and leaves zero mess. dabs at the corners of his mouth with napkin. washes his hands before and after everything. i just KNOW he’s polite too, but really gives it to semi when he mentions ushiwaka’s left handed eating. other:

OTHERS

aone: dresses cute. gets complimented by hinata and cant stop thinking about it for the rest of the night. like lev, he eats enough to feed a small town but makes sure everyone else goes before him at dessert time. tells yachi that he loves the donuts.

terushima: definitely wasn’t invited but heard through the grapevine. shows up with one plate of cookies and a violent growling stomach. immediately takes to the kareoke, even before dinner is over. randomly bursts into song halfway through his second plate of green bean casserole. thinks that singing louder = singing better.

sakusa: clearly doesn’t want to be there. brings his own food and his own drink, but doesn’t hesitate to down a bottle of noya’s cider. complains about how close hinata is sitting is sitting to him, and then pulls out a ruler for emphasis. “whoa! where did that come from??” “get away from me.”

[kuroimarzipan]

sorry for the long post im on mobile at work and have no idea how to put a readmore but. rambling musings on my characters re endwalker because im doing traffic control at work which mostly means standing around on my phone waiting for a car to leave this carpark so i can go hold up a stop sigh. for a minute to let it leave. its boring as hellll

but anyway im like. so off the shits from endwalker rn for multiple reasons. ive been developing niuwyb more and more as a proper wol... i made her partially as a joke bc i played thru msq as roeh (who id already written as a non-wol oc and was really happy with her story) and was having trouble envisioning any wol id create as terribly different lmao. the wol was a sea wolf roegadyn warrior to me... so i made niuwyb as a clone/twin au thing and ended up liking my self indulgent idea so much i kept her. and now im super invested in her as her own character... endwalker has me like. constantly thinking about her life with the other scions like. its so nice for her to have the scions as almost her own little family... roeh brought niuwyb into her family when they met for the first time and found out what was going on and the two are sisters that have a close relationship but i think that the scions are always going to be really close to her heart no matter what.... i just really enjoy thinking about those moments between all the big events that they have to deal with in msq. just sharing a meal together. or hanging out. after everything that happened i want them all to be happy... i almost think its a shame that they all left the rising stones but i want everyone to meet up again regularly u know. not as coworkers or people with similar goals but as friends and family...

and!! i wanna include some of my non-wol ocs in that too... sandrine and sonje were in this really weird place during shb (partially bc i was still developing their story) but i think endwalker is a really good point to cement the trio of sandrine sonje and ysayle as scions... one cause i always thought ysayle shoulda become a scion this whole time fr so im gonna imagine it. i would design her a scion outfit but my design principles are so not final fantasy it would be out of place lol. but theres no way niuwyb and the other scions wouldnt offer her a place with them as soon as they found out she survived lol

two i think sonje is in this sort of similar place as estinien kind of?? certainly not exactly of course but theres some parallels and i think that if they werent both socially inept they could probably talk about it. like sonje helped to liberate ala mhigo from the garleans and worked on rebuilding and returning peace to the place she grew up. but she had been gone for so long and lived so much more life and formed so many other attachments that staying there just... wasnt where she wanted to be anymore?? her place was with sandrine and ysayle now. and i think her joining the scions with both of them is like. they are her home now...

sandrine is actually the most fun to think about in regards to endwalker because shes so spiteful to sharlayan for both the new sharlayan exodus as well as them not doing anything to help when she was pursued by the temple knights on charges of heresy because of her studies in sharlayan... her mother died for that and its a wound that runs deep... she magically hid her archon tattoos for so long out of spite. i think that coming to old sharlayan would be very difficult for her, but with hydaelyn's power waning and sandrine's visions with it, she doesnt have a charted path and decides to rely on the scions for a way forward... shes still like fuck them sharlayans and fuck the forum tho. person that would get along splendidly with matoya. but i do want her to be able to form some semblance of peace with sharlayan as she did with ishgard after the dragonsong war. not forgiveness but a nod of acknowledgement that things are being set right finally. also thatd make 2/3 countries she has beef with. which means next expac its time for gridania to pay reparations to the duskwight lmaoooo

oh man this post is so long now help im just gonna stop it here before i go even deeper into rambling

[coldmorte]

So i have some unpopular opinions; i feel like Dutch doesnt sleep around as much as people would like to think. He probably likes the fact that people think that of him, even if its not his style. Also...i dont think Dutch and Molly have any chemistry.

Howdy! (ASK 1 OF 2)

I apologize it took me some time to actually reply to this, especially because it is such a great ask! I definitely agree with both points made here, but I was debating how I wanted to write a response (and how far to take it).

Anyway, I'm open to hearing unpopular opinions! I know I have plenty of my own, so I'm not really one to judge others (as long as there is mutual respect) ☺️

My response is fairly long, and it deals with some sensitive topics. I decided to add a cut to this first ask, just to be safe! 💜💜💜

(Warning: SPOILERS below)

In regard to Dutch sleeping around, there are a few reasons why I don’t think he does it as much as it is often implied/assumed (I’m primarily limiting this to the timeframe of RDR2, Ch. 1-6).

First of all, Molly explicitly says Dutch doesn’t show her a lot of physical attention, even though he is her SO. If he’s not sleeping with her much, I doubt that he is going around with any other women at this time. He seldom leaves camp, outside of doing missions, so it is unlikely that he would meet up with anybody not in the gang. It just doesn’t seem plausible to me, as it would put him in a vulnerable position.

Dutch complains multiple times - including to Molly - that he is under stress and concerned about the Pinkertons closing in on them. Why would he go around outside the camp sleeping with random women? It would put him at the risk of being seen or reported on, and I believe he is smarter than to take on the unnecessary danger. Generally, he doesn’t spend much time in civilized areas, unless he needs to.

Not to mention, stress can be a real inhibitor of sex drive. For the entirety of the game, Dutch exhibits various degrees of anxiety and depression. I believe the gang and his personal safety were of much more concern to him, thus diminishing his interest in sex.

Speaking of the gang, I don’t personally see Dutch as sleeping around with the women in it that much. He did have a relationship with Susan in the past. Whether anything was still going on between them or not is uncertain, but if there was something, it probably was not serious or very frequent. In RDR1, he also suggests that he slept with Abigail, but if this happened, I doubt it would have occurred during the events of RDR2. They hardly ever interacted, and when Abigail did talk about Dutch, it was almost always in a negative manner. Dutch also showed some interest in Mary-Beth. However, I don’t think it went beyond flirting. She didn’t show much interest in him, and I think word would have gotten around if he tried to force anything, especially to Arthur (I am not going to discuss the events of RDR1 in any more detail here because that is a whole different conversation). But other than them, who else in the gang? There were not enough interactions with other women to suggest there was anything between them and Dutch.

Also, sex was considerably more risky in 1899 than it is today, and the means of contraception were not as dependable. For instance, The Pill didn’t go onto the market for another 60 years, and it was more difficult to get ahold of other birth control methods. This was partly because there were not as many technological advancements in this field and because there were a few laws that prevented reliable access to contraceptives (ex: The Comstock Laws). Condoms were arguably one of the easier birth control methods to find, but they still were not as widely available then as they are today (the quality was arguably not as good either). As I understand it, some searching was generally required to get ahold of condoms (usually in more civilized areas, which Dutch tried to avoid).

Dutch is a very contradictory character. My point in bringing up birth control is because although on some level I think Dutch probably would have liked to have actual children, I do not think he was serious enough about it to take any risks that might have led to an unwanted pregnancy during the timeframe of RDR2. As I mentioned, he was under a lot of stress with the gang. A biological child on top of that most likely would have overwhelmed him, and it would have required a long-term commitment to not only the child, but to the mother as well. I believe Dutch was smart enough to recognize this danger, and since birth control methods were not as widely available or reliable, he would not have wanted to sleep around too much (unwanted pregnancies were relatively common during this era).

I’ve written in the past that I believe Dutch had a certain degree of self-consciousness underneath his pride, so I do agree that he probably would have liked people finding him attractive or seductive. These traits emanate a sense of power and confidence, which would have provided a more favorable presentation of himself to others. These perceptions certainly would have helped to conceal his own self-doubts and insecurities, so he would have welcomed them, rather than try to refute them.

Now, in regard to the chemistry between Dutch and Molly, I agree. I think it was a pretty bad relationship all around. I don’t see its flaws as being entirely one-sided.

I will get into this a little more on the next ask, but I will discuss a few things here first.

Starting with Dutch, I will admit that he could have treated Molly a lot better. Even if he wasn’t happy with her or the status of their relationship, he should have seriously talked to her more. She deserved that, at the very minimum. There were a few instances where she tried to get his attention, and he just brushed her off. Again, like I said, even if he wasn’t very keen on the relationship anymore, he should have at least been honest about that. Then, as I already discussed, he had some mildly flirtatious conversations with Mary-Beth. I certainly do not think this helped matters. It was rude the way he insulted Molly for bringing up his interactions with Mary-Beth and how he pretended he had no idea what Molly was talking about.

Onto Molly, I don’t think she was perfect either. I know Dutch didn’t talk with her nearly as much as he should have, but she didn’t seem to show a whole lot of support for him in return. Dutch expressed that he was feeling stressed and not up to much physical activity, to which she got quite upset. She seemed to turn some arguments towards herself and her needs, with little regard for Dutch’s wellbeing. I do think she was selfish for demanding him to give her something he did not want to give/could not provide. Also, she refused to help the gang find leads or assist with chores, even when told to do so by others (ex: Dutch and Arthur). She tended to act above everybody else, claiming she wasn’t a servant to the needs of the gang as a whole. Though I can respect her sense of independence in that regard, it did show a sense of entitlement. Even Dutch donated to the gang funds, and as the leader, he was the one responsible for overseeing the vast majority of missions they engaged in. Molly was the only person who really did not contribute much. (Side note: Even UNCLE - the laziest bastard in the West - helped with leads and contributions!!)

I will get into this more in the following ask, but although I know she loved Dutch to an extent, I think part of her fascination with him was rooted in infatuation. Little is known about her background, but it is canon that she came from a wealthy and influential family in Ireland. I think part of the reason why she liked Dutch so much was because of the powerful position he held. She frequently lashed out at people who she perceived as challenging the reality of her “love” for him, such as Abigail and Karen. In one instance, Molly even went so far as to slap Karen across the face because she thought Karen was talking negatively about her. There was no evidence to prove or disprove Molly’s beliefs, but it did show that she was pretty sensitive about criticism (whether it was perceived or real) in regard to her relationship with Dutch.

Now, Dutch was wrong to use Molly’s fascination with him and his role in the gang to seduce her. But like I said, both of them had their issues. It was just a bad situation from both sides, and I do not think it should have happened in the first place. I don’t necessarily blame one more than the other. To be honest, I think they each deserved someone who fit them better.

And if I am being even MORE honest, I think Dutch should have stayed with Susan. She loved him, and he made a big mistake in ever giving her up. I believe the events of RDR2 would have turned out very differently, had he kept her closer.

(Ending note: Outside of serious posts - like this one - I know I make quite a few jokes about Dutch on my blog in regard to sexuality, but I do not mean for much of what I say in that regard to be taken *too* seriously. I don’t particularly want to discuss my personal life in the text of this post, but I will say that even if Dutch was a person I knew in real life, I’m not sure I would seriously want anything to happen between us. However, that is another matter entirely that has nothing whatsoever to do with him. I absolutely LOVE his character to death, and my blog will remain dedicated to his role in the RDR story for as long as I am around! That is all that should matter!!!)

Also, it is perfectly fine and normal to separate fiction from reality! It is okay to alter interpretations of Dutch (and/or Molly) for the sake of artistic expression, as long as the reasons can be justified. Furthermore, it is fine to disagree with me!!

I just hope this response gave you a thing or two to consider. Thank you again for sending your message in!! 💜💜💜

[crazygaysex]

incomprehensible conjecture and rambling about sunny/rcg under the cut! idk man I got 1 hour of sleep in the past 24 or wataver and my brain is an abandoned swamp Good Nigte

i certainly am not arguing that mac Absolutely Isnt a stereotype of a predatory gay man/self-hating homophobe or whatevr. i wont argue the homophobe one at all really,not great even if they rectified it and further tried to make up for it or whatever w mac finds his pride (which i love, regardless). but honestly i dont think the predatory complaint really makes a whole lot of legitimate sense considering every charatcer on the show is Extremely predatory in their own right. if he wasnt i’d be irritated to be honest. i do agree w wat mcelhenney said something like that its cool that they decided to acknowledge he was gay without changing him fundamentally as a person; he still needs to fit into the show or watever. like idk he’s not Ideal Gay Rep ofc but he’s awesome still. To Me. I like when character’s sexuality can be an improtant acknowledged facet of them but doesnt overtake the rest of te narrative! It never occurred to me that his behavior toward dennis would be seen as predatory ina stereotypical way seeing as how their relationship dynamic is so fckign bizarre. charlie has the same level of dogged cluelessness about the obj of his affection’s true feelings, so it didnt occur to me to see mac touching dennis’ knee or stuff of that variety as being any different ig or as making fun of queers or watevr. if i am wrong/misunderstanding i apologize. i have never considered mac from that perspective before.

honestly i kinda get the complaints. i’ve never rly thought rcg all have 10000% pure intentions with the insensitive kind of humor they are into, no matter their loophole justifications for shit. sometimes i almost believe their reasoning and do basically understand but it still seems flimsy when you considers stuff like the blackface stuff which is indeed kind of funny at times mainly bc the joke is the absurdity of it all, like mac in the shower with the brown dripping off him like he’s melting; it’s not funny at the expense of black ppl but more so at the expense of how goddam stupid and unaware mac is. i havent seen the blackface/brownface ones in years sos i dont have a whole lot to say excepe they seemed to be clearly against using blackface as the moral while still using it to get laughs. so. really honestly i don’t know that it’s Liderally Ever edgy white people’s call to use something like blackface regardless of context, regardless of their obvious intent? i dunno i have tried to find Black ppls opinions online a couple times but struggled to find any tangible results. the only other thing i have to say with ym white person words is that i think it’s stupid that the streamig companies take down all insensitive episodes like theyre trying to brush them under the rug and pretend it never happened in wake of a changing political climate. i get it, but kinda just seems like corporate scrambling ie disney getting ridof all of song of the south but still profiting from splash mountain eprhaps. something seems dodgy to me about pretending it doesnt exist anymore just to cover their asses. i understand the sentiment i guess but i dont think that’s really the main goal of the BLM movement, to purge streaming services of any questionable/racially insensitive/Fully Racist material; there’s surely more important things at the top of the lists besids Good Branding . im not sure if that makes sense

also a lot of episodes the joke is the blatant but somehow woefully oblivious homoerotic overtones present between the guys, like a Lot of the time. it is very funny though is the thing and a lot of thm are my favorites. i dunno. i also thought hte pooping transgender bit was pretty funny mainly cause it was absurd. i think maybe because i have my own what i think are reaosnable and empathetic views about certain stuff like queer shit it doesnt necessarily occur to me that they are trying to make fun of queer people.. like people make fun of conservative fans for having completely missed the point of it all being satire, and wat if i am being tricked to into assuming rcg has kind intentions and isnt trying to make fun of queer people just cause the thought didnt occur to me? instead of taking all the gay subtext serious- WHICh i Do, i should probably be more aware that to rcg it is just a bit and not really that deep. but mac and dennis were totally fucjing in s5 canonically. anwyays like aside from the carmen shit which is handled So Fuckign Bad and it makes me so upset cause i actually love carmen they were just very clearly not bothered with actually representing trans people accurately. so in the bathroom one if even fuckin dee reynolds is like, saying a trans woman in a woman’s bathroom is obviously normal.. it seems like they’d rectified some of their previous Very flawed rhetoric surrounding trans women (ie the whole “u slept with me when i was still a man” line. makes me cringe a bit ebery time)u get wat i mean?? not that it atones for it obviously. i love carmen she desreved better

butreallt i dont have any like. Pure Faith in rcg to be super accountable or honest about their intentions or to have the most accurate or agreeable beliefs or whataver. theyre just fucking about really because they can without any lashback. and people i think like being able to laugh at offensive shit thru scenarios which supposedly distance you from bigots/evil people and make u feel better about yourself watching these dumbass evil people talk slime. when like. glenn yelling supposedly arabic-sounding gibberish for example: it is funny in this context not just cause it’s wildly inappropriate and absurd but also because there’s prob significant amt of people who actually dont have an issue with it who could watch it and not have that takeaway whatsoever. i dont kno wt im talking about anymore btu honestly if youre trying to watch a show that isnt rife throughout with controversial/offensive/insensitive language and story beats, i dont know why you would try to stomach it with sunny. like for gods sake they used blackface more than once! i dunno man

[early2000smovieimagines]

Meeting and Dating Tim Sullivan

(My gif)(Requested by anonymous)

(This movie was genuinely amazing. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.)

- There isn’t an exact memory that you can recall when explaining how you met Tim. It was probably some time around the first grade; you knew you’d gone to the same school since then. You also knew that you’d drifted in and out of each other’s lives; through being placed in the same classes, after that.

- Regardless, you and him weren’t close, not for a long time at least. You were aware of each other’s existence sure, but only as peers, passing faces on the classroom or hallway.

- It wasn’t until around the seventh grade that you actually became acquainted. It was around that time that you started using your allowance to visit the comic stand after school. That was where Tim first became interested in you, him and the other; at the time, two boys.

- You’d just finished buying an issue and were beginning to walk home when him and his friends rolled up on their bikes. You glanced at them for a moment as you continued to walk, noticing that their eyes moved from the comic in your hands to your face in surprise. You paid it no mind.

- You were the topic of conversation for nearly an hour. They voiced their disbelief, then made some raunchy comments, and then, they trailed off with an earnest “maybe we should, I don’t know, ask if she wants to hang out or something.”.

- They were kind of at a loss; a pretty girl who likes comics was a weeks worth of soapy rag material. They all just stopped mentioning you and moved onto a different topic after that.

- The next day, the boys lingered at the front entrance, pretending like they weren’t watching you as you walked towards the school, pausing as you waited for the first bell to ring.

“Well, is anybody gonna go talk to her?” Tim had been the first one to speak. Everyone remained silent and he scoffed. “Fine you pansies, I’ll do it.”

- As you can imagine, you were a bit surprised to be approached by the boy as you leaned against the school gate. You politely returned his greeting before glancing back at the school awkwardly.

“So...swamp thing, huh?”

-The comment threw you for a loop until you remembered the previous day. Nodding, you expressed your interest in the comic and asked if he was a fan as well, prompting a mini conversation that was interrupted by the bell ringing.

- Just before the two of you said goodbye, he invited you to hang out with him and his friends after school, an offer you awkwardly; somewhat, accepted as you began to walk inside.

“Yeah, I mean that should be fine. …See ya.”

- They waited for you in front of the school after classes let out, debating with each other on whether they should just go as you were a bit late. Thankfully though, you showed up at just the right time, apologizing and explaining that Assumpta had kept you late to help her after class.

- They all sweetly assured you that it was fine, as though half of them weren’t just planning on ditching you. And thus, you began your journey to their usual hangout and your subsequent friendship with the group of boys.

- Fast forward a year or so, you’re a certified member of the group, contributor to the comic, and Tim's “secret” crush. Everyone in the group besides you knows that he has a thing for you and it’s one of the few things they can actually make fun of him for.

- It’s around that time that you realize you like him too and; unable to deal with your sudden feelings, start acting all quiet and sort of weird around him. He takes notice of your hesitance to be alone with him and your odd behavior and the next time you wind up alone together, he asks you about it. You insist that nothing is wrong and he starts to badger you. 

- One thing leads to another and soon enough you’re wrestling each other around the room. After a bit of struggling, you manage to pin him down, angrily telling him to shut up as you straddle his torso. Both your chests are heaving as you stare down at him and he stares up at you. You stay like that for a long, quiet moment before you climb off of him, grabbing your things and booking it out of your gangs little hideout. 

- He lays on the floor for a while before he leaves as well, showing up at your house later that day and acting like nothing happened, convincing you to come do something with him. In an effort to forget about what happened and just smooth things over, you agree. 

- Soon enough, everything is back to normal, but after a while of the two of you busying yourselves with whatever it is you were doing, silence falls upon you and he asks if you “want to talk about it”. 

- You tell him you like a guy and he nods, his heart clenching in his chest as he teases you lightly. He asks you who it is and you remain quiet. He nudges you with his shoulder and begins to teasingly pester you until you tell him it’s someone in your group. You cant even begin to imagine how shitty that makes him feel. 

“Francis?” He asks, almost as though he already knows the answer. Your denying it genuinely surprises him. “Wade?” Wrong again.“...Joey?” he asks as though it’s the most unbelievable thing he’s ever heard. You shake your head  without looking at him. 

“Then...,” The two of you sit in silence as it dawns on him. You remain silent when he finally, tentatively asks “Me?”

“Can I kiss you?” You turn your head to look at him before slowly nodding, a small smile threatens to pull at his lips as he leans in.

- His hand hovers at the side of your face as he softly presses his lips to yours. When you break apart, you look into each others eyes for a long moment before his hand finally touches your skin and he kisses you again; this time with more confidence. 

- The two of you spend the rest of the day stealing kisses and wandering around the overgrown and abandoned parts of town. You suppose you could consider this your first date, mainly because it’s so similar to what you usually do for “dates”. 

- And thus, you begin your relationship with the rebellious alter boy. 

- Not a lot of Pda happens in your relationship. You’re both sorta young and inexperienced so there’s that constant “should I, shouldn’t I” internal debate when it comes to affection. Most of the time, he leans towards the “wait until you’re alone” side of things.

- That being said, when you are alone, he’s much more willing to be affectionate; albeit it with a bit of juvenile hesitance.

- While he certainly wouldn’t mind feeling you up, he’s sort of more interested in the innocent aspects of romance. He isn’t really in a huge rush to “make it” with you; he likes kissing and hugging just fine.

- Shoulder kisses.

- Soft, sorta slow kisses. When you first got together, you hadn’t expected him to be so ...sweet when he kissed you. You expected hard and quick but you were pleasantly surprised.

- Makeout sessions.

- Kissing you is therapeutic for him. Whenever he just wants to get away from the world, he likes to lean over and press his lips to yours.

- He likes to be the big spoon and nuzzle his forehead into your hair/back of your neck. With that being said, he can cuddle in just about any position the place you’re in will allow.

- He likes your odd quirks, he thinks they make you cool. You’re out of the ordinary and so is he; you make a good couple.

- Constant teasing.

- As much as he likes to tease you, he likes to compliment you just as much. He’s always eager to tell you when you do something well, insisting that you do or that it’s true when you try to brush off his praise.

- He gives you a specific nickname, something that only he would ever call you. He likes having that special little connection.

- Getting notes sent to you. Excuse me, poems with notes at the end.

- He’s obviously got a pretty rough home life and has dealt with some tough shit over the past few years. He doesn’t really like talking about it so you just have to be there for him when he wants to hang out and get away from it all; though he’s sort of used to it by now.

- He doesn’t invite you over a lot, for obvious reasons.

- Sneaking out at night to go hang out with him.

- Spending hours together. The two of you are out of your houses from early in the morning to late at night whenever you can be.

- You act like really close friends more than you do a couple at times, most people at your school sort of assume you’re just friends because of it.

- The two of you sort of just hang out together rather than go out on typical dates.

- Reading comics. He likes either lying his head on your shoulder or having you lay your head on his.

- Riding your bikes together.

- Dates at abandoned buildings.

- Walking through the woods and marshes together.

- Skinny dipping/swimming in the lakes of your town.

- Cloud gazing. You lay together and just stare at the sky.

- You’ve significantly lowered his need to make trouble since you’re always there when he’s bored. Does he want to go destroy something or kiss you? Its a hard decision.

- Deep, sometimes dark conversations. He’s been forced to grow up sort of quickly and because of that he knows just how cruel the world can be. Sometimes, he just can’t help but talk to you about it and, sometimes without even realizing it, ruin your wall of innocence and naivety.

- Dark humor and morbid jokes. He’s a sick monkey.

- Whenever he gets a cut, scrape or bruise, he’ll always teasingly ask you to kiss it. He tells himself that he’s just messing with you but whenever you actually do do it, he’s both flustered and pleased.

- I feel like Tim would use any injury he gets to draw your attention to him, even if it really doesnt hurt that much. It would be especially common before the two of you started dating. He just likes having you focused on him and touching him gently.

- Drawing and writing on his cast.

- Helping him with his pranks. He always tells you that he can’t do it without you; he knows that it breaks your resolve.

- He’s an adrenaline junkie; he likes dangerous stunts and getting his heart racing so expect to be involved in a few scenarios that would give your parents a heart attack.

- Getting high/drunk with him or just dealing with him while he’s high/drunk. Don’t worry, he’s usually pretty mellow, especially when he gets high.

- He can notice when something’s wrong and will always ask “whats the matter with you”. He’s usually pretty good at making you feel better, even if it’s just by saying something stupid and not judging you.

- Just a fair warning, you shouldn’t trust him with secrets that involve people he knows or involves something that he might just so happen to leak into a conversation.

- Tim hates being ignored, mainly because hes so ignored at home. He always gets sorta angry/upset when you don’t give him attention.

- He can get really jealous in certain situations though he’s just a jealous person in general. It’s primarily because he cares about you so much and doesnt want to take a chance on having the one real good thing in his life leaving him.

- He’s not necessarily protective but he is caring. He’s always looking after you, even when you’re fighting or angry with each other. He doesn’t ever want anything happening to you.

- Aren’t you even gonna ask me if I’m pissed? I wouldn’t say Tim has a short temper but certain things do make him really angry and will cause the two of you to fight. He doesn’t yell, he hates yelling, but he will say the occasional insulting thing or tell you; very seriously, not to do something ever again.

- That being said, he calms down very quickly and remains calm if you’re the one who’s upset. He earnestly asks if you want to talk about it when you seem to just be upset because of something else, even if you just tore into him.

- He always tries to just ignore the fact that you’ve been fighting and move on, smoothing things over like they never happened. He doesn’t need an apology but if he thinks you deserve one, he’ll give it to you.

- He doesn’t tell you he loves you very often but he’ll occasionally surprise you with one, usually when you least expect it or when he’s really thinking about how much you mean to him and how well you treat him.

- Tim doesn’t talk about the future with you very often, sometimes he’ll mention something he wants to do in life or jokingly talk about what you’re gonna do together but that’s about it.

- As awful as his parents marriage is, it surprisingly hasn’t ruined his view on the matter. He; very maturely, tells himself that he’ll never be like them and that when; not if, the two of you get married, you’ll be so much better.

[littlx-songbxrd]

for the lgbtq+ ask games: jane, ari, alex, thomas, alastair, jesper (if you want to)

Thank you!!

Jane is anwered here and jesper is answered here

Ari: have you saved someones life/ been saved by someone?

I dont think I've ever saved someones life, certainly helped but never outright saved. As for been saved JAJJA yes okok funny story

I was a curious child, but my attention span doesnt exist. So there was one day my mom brought me to the park with her work friends cause they were having an end of year picnick or smth idk

Point is I got bored and started following ducks around, the thing is lil zia was so focused in following the ducks I forgot I couldnt swim. So when the ducks went to the lake I followed and almost drowned :)

Then my moms work friend saw me well ✨drowning✨ and saved me

Thank you moms work friend :D

Idk what alex you mean so I'll do both

Alex (fierro) are you interested/skilled in any decorative arts?

Yes! I can sew fairly well and have some decorative works I sewed in a box in my room (most of them are beach views but dvdjjd we ignore) I've also made a purse (not perfect but)

Besides this I know how to make bracelets out of melted straws and its so entertaining.

Alex (claremont-díaz) have you ever had a sexuality crisis?

LOOK YOU DID NOT WANNA SEE ME WHEN I FOUND OUT SEXUAL ATTRACTION ACTUALLY EXISTED. All this time I THOUGHT WE WERE ALL JOKING. See I come from a majorly catholic country for the longest time I thought gay people were trans people dating eachother (as in a boy pretending to be a girl dating a boy pls im so sorry I was stupid and it was what my friend told me being gay was. Up until i was a teen the only word I had for gay was a slur in spanish pls im sorry)

SO I ACCEPTING I WASNT STRAIGHT WAS HARD

BUT IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME ASEXUALITY EXISTED UNTIL A FEW YEARS AGO AND I WAS LIKE LOL DONT WE ALL DO THAT

BROUGHT IT UP TO A FRIEND

And apperantly SHE TELLS ME SEXUAL ATTRACTION IS A THING?

Been horrified ever sense

Im still CONVINSED y'all pulling my leg on that one

Then I had a crisis and now I believe I can never be loved lol but like at least theres a WORD FOR IT NOW

Thomas: how many languages can you speak and what are they?

So technically only two :( English and Spanish

Learning portuguese and trying to see if I can find books to learn taino

Also know SOME asl

Alastair: what instruments can you play?

So this didnt say well so

I can play acoustic guitar, ukulele, some piano, basic bomba rythims in barriles and a lil bit of soft flute! I was also in a bell choir for 6 years

[koba-baboba]

moony

a/n: hey look a new series because i got overhwhelmed by in the dark. this will be a self indulgent story so its ok if you dont like it. im trying a new writing style so let me know if its any good. this isnt really edited so read at your own risk. shout out to anyone who can figure out which part of this chapter i inserted after it was done.

chapter 1/? word count: 1628

warnings: none i think. a weeny bit of blood.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

towering trees and bright flowers are all i can see for miles, it was the most beautiful thing ever. mother held my hand, swinging it as we walked along the dimly lit dirt path. "happy birthday my love! how does it feel to be 6 hm?" mothers words are soft and full of love as she looks down at me fondly. "not much differnt, i think im taller maybe?" i screw my face up trying to think if i felt taller or not, i *felt* taller. mother laughed heartly as she looked around us. "youre almost past my hip now! youve definitely gotten taller." mother cooed still looking happily at me. i smiled, i *am* almost past her hip now! i swung her hand even more as we contiuned on our walk. "dad doesnt like to go on these walks does he?" i questioned, looking up at mother. "he doesnt like to get his fancy shoes dirty, Alexander has always been that way" she reasured me softly. the bush in front of us rustled, mother excitedly pulled me down to crouch so we didnt scare the critter moving towards us. i wiggled excitedly, hoping it would be a bunny. "stay still. maybe its a deer" mother whispers into my ear. the rustling get louder before a dirty tired looking man stumbles out. mother pulled me up harshly and hid me behind her. i tried to peek out at the man but she shoved me behind her again. i suddenly remebered what day it was, the full moon. i clutched to mothers shirt as she put a hand on my shoulder.

"can i help you sir? you look ill" mothers voice is shakey but firm. "now that you ask... i do need help"

im on my back on the floor, its uncomfortable and bumpy. my hands are wet and warm, it feels gross and sticky.i raise my hands to my face, theyre red? i turn my head to see if mother knows whats happening and... the man is on top of her, his teeth digging into her neck. shes screaming, crying, "m-mom?"

"mom?" i whisper but im not in that forest anymore, im on my bed in my room. i look around my room, at the posters and drawings on my wall that i made myself, at my trunk and bag near my door. it takes me a second to register the knocking at my door. "andi we need to go" a sandy haired man says softly as he pushes through my door. its just remus, im safe. i push myself up to sit on the edge of my bed and run my hand through my messy curls. "are you alright sweetheart?" remus- dad, asks me softly. "nightmare" i mumbled sleepily. he sighs and sits down next to me. he rubs circles against my back. "its always worse after the full moon, give yourself some patient love" dad said softly, he knew i wouldnt actually give myself time to bounce back. it was frustrating to admit i needed time to heal, i didnt like admitting i was differnt. dad sighed and kissed my forehead gently "get dressed, you can eat at the weasleys, molly will have plenty of food for you"

i pull my t-shirt and worn jeans on and try desperatley to make my hair less of a mess. i dragged my trunk downstairs towards dad who was waiting patiently at the door. "ready? molly will have some ointments for you when you get there."

"i double checked this time" i chuckle, more than once ive forgotten something important, my school supplies werent exactly cheap so that wasnt exaclty ideal. dad chuckled and looped his arm through mine and, with a loud pop, we landed at the burrow. my second home! i live here as often as i do at dads house. it was the most brilliant house ive ever been too.

the door flew open and two lanky twins came flying towards me. fred and george collided with me, hugging me tightly. i giggled squeezing them tightly. Remus put his hand on my shoulder “I’ll see you at the train station, be safe” and with a pop he was gone.

“He never comes inside” a sweet voice came from the doorway. A plump woman was looking fondly at the three teens. She opened her arms wide, beckoning me forward. i smiled and wrapped my arms around molly. “Hello dear” she cooed into my hair. Molly pulled back and looked me over, cupping my face and turned it side to side, examining the new cuts and bruises i donned. She hummed

“Ginny! Ron! Come here!” Molly shouted as she pulled me inside, the twins following.

“She’s going to coddle you” Fred whispered into my ear with a little chuckle. i rolled my eyes as i followed molly into the kitchen where Ron and Ginny had just rushed in.

“Andi!” Ginny bounded towards me wrapping her arms around me and hugged me like it had been years since the last time she had seen me. Ginny had always looked up to me like an older sister ever since she could speak. i hoisted Ginny up and into my arms spinning her around. god i loved the weasleys, every one of them, including percy.

“I’m a little offended you didn’t do that for us” George huffed feigning hurt.

“Yeah come on andi, I thought we were your favourite” Fred added, mimicking his twin.

“Now when did I say that boys” i teased as i plopped Ginny back on the floor. The twins rolled their eyes before throwing their arms over my shoulders. the twins did this to me so often, we were always joined at the hip in some way.

“I dunno I just have a sneaking suspicion that you like us” the boys said in unison. i snickered and gave Ron a happy “hello”

“Now now boys don’t be too rough on her” molly scolded shooing the twins off of me. i sighed, Molly always had a tendency to treat me like i was fragile. “Oh come on mum it’s not like we’re throwing her around” Fred whined. “We could if you wanted” George whispered. The trio had learned early on that the best way to annoy the younger groups was to mock flirt with each other. After awhile it became an inside joke that the three found hilarious. Much to everyone’s dismay.

“Come on andi let me clean you up” Molly’s words are sweet but insistent. i know better than to argue with molly over this stuff. Molly is a excellent healer and it would be stupid to deny her help. i looked over at the twins who are grinning ear to ear, they did warn me i suppose. i rolled my eyes once more before following molly to the living room. i sit down on the sofa the twins and i often crowd. It was far too small for three lanky teens. Molly began rustling in a little bag near a bookshelf. She was humming a song and shaking to a tune only she could hear. Ah ha! Molly exclaimed as she pulled out a little jar full of white paste.

“This will help it heal a little faster, it won’t keep it from scarring unfortunately” molly starts excitedly before mumbling off the last part. i knew this, magic was wonderful but it couldn’t prevent scarring in most situations. i had more scars than i cared to count. Molly cupped my face as she smeared the paste over my wounds, i winced slightly. no matter if it had numbing ingriedents or not, this part always hurt

“I know it hurts, just breathe” molly humed. “Do you have anymore?” Molly questions looking me over. “You know the answer to that question” i chuckled dryly as i stood pulling my shirt up with me. Revealing a bandage stretching across my stomach.

Molly sighed, she hated seeing her kids hurt, not that Andi was her kid but it certainly felt like it. Molly peeled the bandage off slowly trying desperately to keep it from hurting too much.

i shuddered biting back tears as i felt the bandage pull healed skin with it.

The twins were watching from the doorway as molly tended to Andi. They knew what Andi looked like after full moons but they never got used to the gashes and bruises she dawned afterwards. Fred turned away, he felt sick to his stomach, he loved Andi, he wished he could take this from her. She didn’t deserve it.

Molly patched andi's stomach up once more and pulled her shirt down over it.

“Put this on your face twice a day and I’ll help you with your back until you go to school then then ask one of your friends to help” molly instructed waving her finger at me to enunciate her words.

“Yes ma’am” i mock soluted, i knew how much that annoyed her. i turned towards the door way and gave George a lopsided grin and peeked past him at Fred who was leaning against a counter.

“Want to show me what your letters talked about?” i said my tone dripping with mischief. The twins faces lit up as they grabbed my hands and dragged me up the stairs, giggling like kids the whole way to their room.

“What are you three planning??” Molly shouted up the stairs. She knew those three were troublemakers at heart. They had been since they met when they were 7. Remus needed help with Andi after a rough full moon and the rest is history. The three of them managed to turn rons teddy bear into a spider once.

[haderpjs]

Eddie lives.

But Richie at the beginning isn’t allowed to see him, (no one is, obviously, he’s under surgery) the losers try to take him to the Town House so he can sleep and change his filthy clothes, they try, more than once each, until Richie finally agrees.

Eddie had more than one surgery, Richie wasn’t paying so much attention to what the doctors were saying to them. All the things they had to do to save Eddie's life sounded numb and far away because he was occupied thinking on how he might be so close to losing Eddie a g a i n, after just having got him back.

Now clean and rested (not really he couldn’t sleep more than two hours because he made the mistake of entering to Eddie’s room and see the blood all over the bathroom floor) he is finally allowed to see Eddie, it’s been almost 10 hours since they first brought Eddie to the hospital. It hurts to see his dearest friend all pale and weak and tied to diverse devices and machines but it’s a million times better than what he saw in the deadlights.

They stay all the hours the doctors allow them to, when the night comes he’s the only one who doesn’t go back to the Town House. He stays besides Eddie because he is afraid of leaving his friend alone, he is afraid of Edie dying even when the doctors said he was in no danger anymore, he can’t leave Eddie, he can’t lose him after he just got him back, -you don’t ‘got him’ don’t be stupid, he is married and you know it- he tells himself.

Richie sits on the chair besides Eddie’s bed, since the bed is taller he can rest his head on the mattress. He knows he should put his glasses on the table but he finds himself being comfortably at peace por once since he arrived to Derry and he might not want to fall asleep but he is so tired, without realizing or thinking much about it his body is already reaching out for Eddie’s, Richie holds his friend’s hand and lets the [beep beep beep] of the heart rate monitor drift him to sleep, -it’s practically the sound of Eddie’s heart- he tinks and sure it isn’t the most comfortable position but he won’t let go of Eddie’s hand.

He wakes up in the middle of the night all startled and alarmed, he adjusts his crooked glasses and once his eyes adjust to the darkness of the room and then he can see how the dim glow from outside lightens Eddie’s facial features, Richie feels like crying for the nth time since he woke up from the deadlights. And jus now he had dreamed what he saw in those fucking magic demonic lights.

‘‘Hey Eds, you ...  you have to wake up man’‘ his voice is barely a whisper

[beep beep beep]

‘‘Not like, right now I know you’re on a lot of drugs and very weak from the surgeries but-huh’‘ he whimpers and tries to calm himself

-Of couse Eddie will wake up, we killed that fucking demonic clown, we won, and we remember each other and we’ll not forget this time!-

‘‘y’know you’re the strongest person I know right?, and you’re so brave Eds, I hope you know I meant what I said down there in the sewers, you are braver than you believe you are’‘

-Eddie will wake up and I’ll tell him how brave he is to his face until he believes it-

‘‘But you’re an Idiot too’‘ he can’t contain the little giggle that escapes his mouth

‘‘Why did you save me?’‘ he asks to the unconscious man lying in fron of him

[beep beep beep]

-It should’ve been me- that thought is been in Richie’s head since they were draggind Eddie outside from neitbolt.

He was the one with the stupid trashmouth that got himself in the deadlights and he probably should have died with his brains fried or whatever. It sucked that Eddie had to rescue him only to nearly die impaled. If Richie just hadn’t acted stupidily. But he knows Eddie did it because they are best friends, the same way Eddie would have done it for Bill or any other of the losers, Richie also knows he would have done the same thing, bitch he did what he did because Mike was about to die and even if it wasn’t the most smart thing to do he’d do that again just so Mike or any other of his friends wouldn't die.

[beep beep beep]

‘‘Why did that fucking clown had to hurt you?’‘ He lets out a sob and burries his head on the space between Eddie’s arm and the right side of his torso

-to hurt me, It did it because he knew my secret, always knew and It did it in front of my eyes, because he knew my dirty little secret because It knew one of my biggest fears is losing you-

Sure the moment pennywise died Eddie’s bleeding had stopped and when they put Eddie in the ambulance Richie is sure the hole in his chest wasn't as big as pennywise claw must’ve first pierced through Eddie’s chest, but Eddie still lost plenty blood and the internal damage still was there. He wishes Eddie’s injury had dissapeared the moment they killed that demonic clown.

‘‘I know you’re out of danger now but you didn’t deserve this, you didn’t have to, for ANY reason, especially not for me’‘

[beep beep beep]

He hated himself for being the cause Eddie was now lying almost lifeless on a hospital bed, with a big-ass scar on his chest and back, not to mention who knows how many months of physical therapy ahead of him.

‘‘Eds, I am so happy you’re alive, umm I thought-’’ he whimpers

‘’I thought I had lost you, when we were dragging you out and you wouldnt wake up, I held your almost lifeless body on my arms and it felt fucking horrible’‘ a deep breath escapes his mouth

[beep beep beep]

‘‘it felt like my life was being drawn away from me’‘ he lifts his hands and presses his palms under his glasses against his eyelids

[beep beep beep]

The only sound in the room was Richie’s pained voice and the constant [beep beep beep] of the machine, not that he was expecting Eddie to wake up and reply, but he was so used to Eddie always replying to him, most of the times some annoyed comebacks because of Richie’s jokes about Mrs. K, sometimes just Eddie’s giggles at Richie’s most stupid jokes, and the good ones too.

‘‘Because since the moment I remembered you, I felt like the most alive person on earth’‘

[beep beep beep]

‘‘I didn't know I missed you so much until I saw you’‘

[beep beep beep]

‘‘The void in my heart took your form after my brain reclaimed your name’

[beep beep beep] ‘

‘‘I want you in my life forever’‘ -and the rest of the losers of course-

[beep beep beep]

‘‘i don’t think I can make it another 27 years without your- friendship being a constan in my life’‘

[beep beep beep] 

Richie thinks about confessing his feeling to Eddie, since well... Eddie wasn’t really listening and also, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever had the guts to do it when Eddie was actually listening, and if he ever dared to tell him how he felt, well... Eddie was married anyway and he had a life in NY, Richie would have to conform with Eddie’s friendship.

Eventually Richie fell asleep again, he didn’t dreamed about Eddie’s death this time, he dreamed they were fifteen again and they were on the hammock reading comics and annoying the shit out of each other. Until an ugly whiny voice woke him up.

‘‘[I AM HIS WIFE and I have all the right to see him!]’‘

Richie could see the shadow on the closed curtains of the window that a nurse was standing between the door and a woman, blocking her way in.

‘‘[Mrs. Kaspbrak I understand you are concerned about your husband but I already told you he is stable and these are not visit hours]’‘

-SHITSHITSHITSHIT EDDIE’S WIFE IS HERE-

Richie stood up from the chair and started pacing the room, he had stayed past visit hours and he wasn't supposed to, but since the nurse that came last night into the room to check Eddie’s vitals didn’t say a word he supposed it wouldn’t be a problem if he slept there.

Now he had no way of sneaking out of the room and they were going to find him in there and honestly, he didn’t care if the doctors disapproved his actions, he didn't want to see Eddie’s wife, but he didn’t want to leave Eddie’s side just so Mrs. Kaspbrak would take his place

-It is NOT your place! stop it!!!-

‘‘FFFFUCK’‘ he muttered

‘‘[... else do you need me to sign?, I am going to demand this hospital if you refuse to let me see my husband]’‘

‘’fuck Eds she really is Sonia 2.0, Jesus man what did you got yourself into?’‘ Richie whispered towards Eddie

‘‘[... and sorry I don’t mean to be rude, I am just very *hiccups* very worried abut my husband and i just need to see him, I haven't seen him since he left three days ago, pleease even if it’s just 5 minutes I need to see him!, you can’t imagine the pain I was in when i found out he!- *wimpers*]’‘

Richie reaches out for Eddie’s hand and sqeezes it, Eddie looks so peaceful now and he really can't hold himself out, he leans down and pressed a kiss to Eddie's forehead.

He was just leaning back up when the door opened

‘‘You can stay but when the Doctor comes in for the routinely check-ups you'll have to leave, that gives you about 20 minutes-’‘ the nurse stopps when she sees Richie standing beside Eddie’s bed.

‘‘Oh!, I didn't thought-’‘ anyone would be here

‘‘No i was just le-’‘ Richie doesn’t finish because Myra interrupts him, walking towards Eddie’s bed while observing Richie’s being very meticulously

‘’WHO ARE YOU?’’ Myra demands looking at Richie now with a flash of disgust on her face

Richie doen’t like how demanding she sounds, and he certainly doesnt like how she’s looking at him, he feels vulnerable and he feels exposed like he just got caught doing something that he isn't supposed to, allowed to. He hates it.

‘’No one, I am leaving’‘ He answers almost very apathetic and walks down past them towards the door. Hands on his pockets and head slightly facing down

‘‘are you one of Eddie’s friends?. He said he came to visit some friends, were you with him when this happened to him?’‘

He stops in the door frame but doesn't turn to face her

‘‘Yeah’‘... -yes I was there and I didn’t do enough to keep him from being hurt, yes it’s my fault he’s there ... -

Richie leaves the room.

[maryniss]

The Hero

Fandom: Sk8 The Infinity

Summary: We found out who built Carla.

Characters:

Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom

Nanjo Kojiro | Joe

Relationships:

Nanjo Kojiro | Joe/Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom

Rating:

General and Up Audiences

Tags:

Fluff

ofc it had to be a rewrite of the preview in ep 9

Kaoru being soft for once

Kojiro being a total simp

had to rewrite it cause the first draft got deleted

Notes: hihihi matchablossom is the coolest name for a ship pls im dying i love them so much. btw, kojiro means hero in japanese. ahahahahha

also fuck adam

and the palm trees

also inspired by a convo with my bestie @seleneslyre-writes​

Why Kaoru loved Carla so much was a mystery for Kojiro. It wasnt even that great. What could she do? Just some little tricks here and there.

Well, one thing was certain. Kojiro regrets that he built Carla for Kaoru. Or, he doesnt regret it. He loves that his friend has something he treasures so deeply. He really wants Kaoru to be happy. But, still. There is this feeling in his stomach, the same feeling he has when his soup is just a little too salty, when his carbonara pasta have just too much parmesan.

Kojiro sighs and the fire on the stove does too. It is really not the time to actually be thinking about Kaoru. Especially not right now. When his pink-haired friend sits in front of him, waiting to eat something.

"Oi, are you trying to starve me to death?"

Ah, Kojiro knew this would happen. He should just focus on his food. Just his food. Just the food he was making for Kaoru...

Ah, he just remembered how Kaoru used to skate. Before Carla. Before Adam left to America. When Kaoru skated, he was feral. It didnt matter that he could get hurt. It didnt matter that he was getting the corner at a wrong angle. It was simply amazing to watch Kaoru skate then. If he was sincere, he probably fell for him when he first saw him skate. It was probably spring and Kojiro was going back from school. How old was he? 16?

Anyway, the weather was warm and all around him sakura flowers were swinging. He remembers that his feet were cold for whatever reason and that he wanted to go home as soon as possible.

He didnt see the guy with the skate. If his hair would have been a different color from the flowers that were around him, maybe he would have.

Kojiro and Kaoru clashed and fell on the hard asphalt. The sakura flowers were all around them. Or maybe it was just Kaoru's hair; Kojiro couldnt distinguish them.

And, yes that was the moment he fell. He fell hard. Never in his life had he fell harder. Even when he broke his femur and almost died. Never has Kojiro in his life been so deeply attached to something.

He tried to lie to himself weeks after that. He would say to himself that he has not fell for a skater boy. It was probably the hair confusing him.

Yeah he decided that was it.

"Ko-ji-ro" Kaoru's voice made him forget about the sixteen year old Cherry Blossom and reminded him that he still had to serve food to his clients.

"Hm? What did you say?"

"Huh? What are you thinking about? It is not fun to mock you if you wont even pay attention."

Kojiro nodded his bead mindlessly. It wasnt like him to be so sentimental, to think so much of the past. Actually, it wasnt like him to think at all.

"By the way, the food is burning." Kojiro looked at Kaoru. Then at the food. Boy, did he wish Kaoru would just joke.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck.", said he as he turned off the stove. Well, there certainly was a problem.

"Ok, big mindless gorilla. Now, I dont have patience for you to try again."

Kojiro opened his mouth just to close it again. He was shocked that he actually burned it. This hasnt happened to him since he was 15!

"Dont you have anything to drink?"

Kojiro blinked and looked at his friend's bandages. He finally spoke some coherent words.

"You sure you can drink like that?"

Kaoru relaxed on his chair and looked at his friend, a provocative gleam in his eyes. His hair was quite messy and damn that was the hottest shit Kojiro has seen. For some reason.

Come on, Kojiro. You have to stay calm. Calm like pasta. Pasta is good. Pasta is calm.

"Ok, ok, I’ll give you something to drink, but not too much, okay?"

Kaoru grinned and his golden pupils shone. Outside the restaurant, people were minding their business, not even looking twice in their direction. It felt as if they were secluded from the rest of the world. Just the two of them. Just the...

Fuck, Kojiro. Remember that pasta is good. Pasta is cool.

Kojiro got a bottle of wine from under the table.

“What is that?” Kaoru looked sceptically at the bottle of champagne.

“Just a something I bought from the local store.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t expect such a gorilla like you to drink something of quality.”

“Maybe your tastes are just too refined.”

Kojiro poured a glass for his friend and one for him, too. Kaoru smelled it and made an unpleased face.

“Hey, if you don’t want to drink it, you dont ha-”

Kaoru gulped the glass and slammed it against the table. Kojiro could see the lingering liquid on Kaoru’s lips. He would love to bend over and kiss them...softly...soft lips...

KOJIRO, PASTA. THINK ABOUT THE FUCKING PASTA.

“Ok, but you’ll pay for it.” Kaoru scoffed.

“I can afford some cheap drink. But why won’t you pour yourself a glass? Then you wont say only I drank.”

Outside the restaurant, the people did not pay a second glance to them. It was as if they were the only people existent in the world. Only the two of them..

Yeah he’d like that.

***

One bottle of champagne later and Kaoru had almost fell asleep. His hair was sprawled across the table, covering his face. Kojiro gently brushed it aside, tucking it behind a bandaged ear.

He loved this man so much and he had has since ha was 16. That’s why he built Carla for him after Adam left for America. After he had been rejected. When Adam left, not only Kaoru got hurt. Kaoru changed; he started to skate carefully, as if to not get hurt again. And it broke Kojiro’s heart to see him. 

It took Kojiro five months to build Carla. He didn’t know how he did it. He hadn’t sleep for days, he remembers. But, it was worth it. It definitely was.

“Mhm-take your hands off me, you big fat go-aaah.” Kaoru yawned and the corners of Kojiro’s mouth went upward. He sighed, stood up and gently took Kaoru into his arms. The man seemed to be somewhat lighter than before. Kojiro frowned.

“...know...you...hero...” Kaoru mumbled something with his face hid in Kojiro’s broad chest.

“Mhm? What did you say?”

And all of sudden, Kaoru woke up and threw his arms around Kojiro’s neck, pulling him closer. He started kissing his face. He kissed every single inch of dark skin, Kojiro’s nose, Kojiro’s cheeks, Kojiro’s eyes.

The milky moon’s light was entering on the window, throwing silver shadows over their bodies. Kojiro was... well he was simply amazed. Never had this happened before.  Never had Kaoru kissed him so softly and affectionate. And, yes, maybe it was because he was hurt, but it didn’t matter. Kojiro loved it, loved it so much, goddamit! Why had to be Adam that broke Kaoru’s heart? Why should this beautiful man stand some where else than in his arms, where he knew that he could protect him?

“Have you wondered why I always loved Carla so much?”

Kojiro didn’t say anything. He didn’t really want to know, for some reason. Actually, if he would be honest with himself, he was kind of jealous.

“You really are one dumb gorilla.”

Kaoru smiled and his body relaxed in Kojiro’s arms, whom tightened his grip.

“It’s because you made it for me, Kojiro.”

Also, a bonus that i want to happen:

Kojiro didn't came to see the race. Oh no, there was only one thing he wanted and he would definitely get it. He eyed the target. Adam was on the stage, playing his stupid game with cards and whatever. That was perfect. that way, everyone could see. Kojiro tightened his grip on his skateboard. He reached the stage in no time and patted Adam on his shoulder. "Oh, who is-" He slammed the skateboard in his face. "First, this is for breaking Cherr's heart." He punched him in the stomach and it took all he had to not punch him way downer. "And this is for breaking Cherr's face." Ok, so that was already done. No, all he had to do was to resolve the teenage love drama he had to witness some days ago. Kojiro took the mic. "Langa! Stop wasting your fucking time here. Go and see Reki!" And, with that, he left. After all, he had someone waiting for him at home.

*** maybe i ll do a fic for what did langa afterwards? idk :)