#she actually makes me SO angry it's unreal

[joejhang]

ellie wolf they could NEVER make me like you

[strangelysamantha]

wasted ☆

jj maybank x fem!reader.

warnings: infidelity, swearing, alcohol.

words: 1,093.

summary: “you were supposed to be my soulmate, but you threw it all away so you could screw some girl?” in which jj makes a grave mistake cheating on you.

request? no.

a/n: i have so many good ideas deep in my drafts. im about to blow up your feed mwahahahha.

my masterlist

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you desperately needed air, the smell of liquor, cigarettes, and blaring music completely overwhelmed your senses, you couldn't find jj which didn't help at all. all you wanted to do was settle into bed, but instead you were trapped at a house party. you were getting tired of the partying, every time the night was close to coming to an end, jj would find something to get worked up about. he would be screaming at you about drama that had sparked. it was exhausting that jj always had a problem, whether it was because you had accepted a drink from a guy, or was dancing to close to someone you didn't even care about. you tried multiple doors, trying to find a quiet place, however all of them were locked.

of course, the one that wasn't locked was occupied. you swing the door open, seeing two bodies entangled together, sweaty and moaning. you were going to shut it when you noticed it was jj in bed. his blonde hair messy as small groans fell from his mouth. "what the actual fuck jj?" you yelled, holding back your tears. as if the night couldn't have gotten any worse, of course jj had found a dumb tourist to feed his needs. before the party, you mentioned to jj that you weren't feeling it, he was upset by this. he made it a big issue before ultimately storming off. you weren't going to go; you told him as much. but seeing how angry he got; you felt obligated to make an appearance.

now regretting even leaving the house, you watch jj scramble to put his clothes back on. the entire show being sickening to see. you decided you didn't even want to hear his excuses. maybe he got too drunk, maybe he wanted revenge, maybe he was just done. you rush downstairs, running into kiara. she apologizes before realizing its you. "hey is everything okay?" you laugh, the whole situation seeming so unreal its funny. "just walked in on jj plowing a tourist. i'm getting out of here." her mouth flies open, "what?" she follows after you, worried to leave you alone. she hops into your car, and the two of you drive to her house, assuming jj would go to yours to try and salvage the relationship.

in kiaras room you lay down on her bed, your body becoming numb. "i mean. i got with jj maybank. did i really think i'd be that special?" you sigh. kiara frowns at your words. "it's not your fault. that is so unfair to you, he knows better than that." you glance down at your phone, seeing a bunch of missed calls and texts from him. "im just mad because i know i'll lose all my friends too." kiara rubs your arm, "you still have me." you smile softly, "thank you, i don't know what i'd be doing without you." your comment was cut off by kiaras phone. "it's jj, should i answer?" you shrug, "might as well. put it on speaker." she pressed accept, immediately putting jj on speaker. "i fucked up kie, i don't know what to do." she wanted to act oblivious to see how jj would explain the situation. "what happened jj?" he mentions you, "we had a big fight before the party. i drowned my frustration with booze. i met a tourist and it was so easy. i let my guard down." kiaras face forms with disgust by his words. she doesn't respond, letting him continue. "she walked in on me fucking someone else. she'll hate me. she'll want nothing to do with me kie, what do i do?" kiara hums, "well you cheated jj." her words stung him, "there is nothing you can do. if she's done with you after this, you'll just have to accept it."

"i have to see her. do you know where she went?" kiara sighs, "no, i haven't seen her. i'm back at mine now, about to go to bed." jj groans, "alright, thanks." he immediately hangs up and kiara scoffs. "please tell me you don't plan on getting back with him." you shake your head. "i can't." she nods understandingly. "besides the fact he literally cheated; all we do is fight anyway. it's too exhausting."

"well i'm here for you, anything you need." you smile, thankful you'd still have a friend after this. "i'm going to head back home, if i run into him i'm going to end it. otherwise i'm going to bed." kiara ushers a goodnight softly, "make it home safe. and keep me updated."

you gently shut her door, heading downstairs. you get into your car, starting it up and driving back home. jj calls you again on your drive home, you reluctantly answer. you stay silent. "can we please talk?" he questions. "im just now on my way home. im too tired jj." he sighs, "im already at your house." you mouth forms into a line, annoyance running through your veins. "alright." you hang up, pulling into your driveway, you noticed him sitting at the end of the driveway. you hop out of your car walking up to him.

he quickly stands up. "look i'm so sorry. i can't even put into words how bad i feel." you scoff, "i don't really care anymore jj." he takes a deep breath, "please it was a huge mistake." you look over, "that's the problem jj. we had a fight, and you lashed out. i don't want to worry about what you'll do if i upset you. if you'll retaliate by sleeping with someone else, or if you'll fight someone, or whatever you'll do just because were on the rocks." he shakes his head, "it won't be like that, i don't want that to be our relationship-" you are quick to cut him off, "there is no more relationship jj." his heart sinks, "no please, we can work this out." you sigh, tears dropping from your eyes. "you were supposed to be my soulmate, but you threw it all away so you could screw some girl?" he was extremely apologetic, "i was drunk, and angry, and i wasn't thinking. i didn't want to hurt you. i regret it so bad. im really sorry." you quickly wipe your tears, "all i see when i look at you is seeing you in bed with that stranger. and that makes me sick. i can't look at you the same jj. we are done." before he can respond you turn away, walking into your house, locking the door behind you.

[zukosdualdao]

just… the absolute trust between zutara in the finale is unreal. after zuko’s impromptu training attack session, yes, katara is surprised and even somewhat angry as she confronts him, but when she says “you could have hurt aang!” all it reminds me of is the fact that just a few episodes ago, she literally threatened to kill him if he ever gave her a reason to think he might so something to hurt aang. but here, now, even as she’s confronting him, she just… waits for him to explain, and she actually sees and agrees with his point once zuko tells the gaang about ozai’s plan.

there is also the absolutely, 100% synchronized way they fight during the simulated training session, something that calls back to their synchronization and teamwork in the southern raiders, and that inherently shows a lot of trust and understanding between them.

katara is the one who initially asks zuko what they should do after aang disappears. everyone else agrees, but it's katara who trusts him enough to position him, not just to herself but to everyone else, as someone they should listen to because of his history, skill, and experience, especially noteworthy because the reason she gives—“you are sort of the expert at tracking the avatar”—is what used to make him untrustworthy in their eyes. they’ve come such a long way.

then katara notices zuko freeze and sit in front of iroh’s tent, and when she asks if he’s okay, he just… completely trusts her with exactly what he’s feeling, and if he’s even a little worried that what he’s saying might cause her to act derisively, because what he’s referencing here is also what katara was angry and hurt about, he doesn’t show it. he just so completely trusts her with it, and her insistence that iroh will forgive him is born from her own trust of zuko, and she's able to tell him what he needs to hear because she was once in iroh's position and zuko proved his genuine remorse and care to her.

then, of course, we've got zuko not missing a beat as he asks katara to be the one to come with him to confront azula, and her ready acceptance. they make a good team, and they know it.

but when they get there and azula challenges zuko to an agni kai - though she initially has misgivings, katara ultimately trusts zuko when he says he can handle it and understands that he doesn't want her to get hurt if she doesn't have to. (an aspect of zuko's "i can't explain it, but she's slipping" line that i think gets underexamined, btw, is that that's not an inherently good thing for them. yes, maybe that means zuko will be able to take her, particularly because he knows azula and her fighting style well. but someone who is "slipping" is also, in this case, desperate, and more prone to being reckless with people's lives. zuko tries to mitigate that by fighting her alone, but it doesn't work because azula can't follow the terms she sets when she realizes she's losing.)

the lightning scene is a really interesting example of trust as it relates to zuko and katara, because to me, the emphasis there isn't quite so much on zuko and katara trusting each other. there's barely time for katara to think through what will happen to as azula aims for her or wonder what zuko will do, after all, and zuko is probably in too much pain and too out of it to think about katara coming to try to heal him. (though if they did have the time and mental faculties to think it through, i think they would both 120 percent trust the other to help them.)

instead, the emphasis is on the audience trusting the characters. from the moment zuko sees where azula's aiming, he doesn't hesitate, doesn't even think about, just. immediately jumps in front of the lightning before it can reach katara. i've said this before, but as soon as he understood what was happening, there was just no chance of that lightning ever getting to katara and that's the point. we've seen what zuko looks like when he's hesitating or conflicted, and the difference is stark. the show never wants you to question exactly what zuko will do, that he refuses to let katara get heart, that he'll save her.

and for her part, katara immediately runs to try and save zuko despite azula still being around and attacking, and tries again before realizing she needs to defeat azula in order to do so. but the entire scene of katara's defeating her, while obviously heroic and emblematic of katara's power and the culmination of her arc as a girl whose culture and identity was nearly stripped away from her to being a master waterbender, is also framed as katara defeating azula so she can get to zuko. she would have done it anyways, yes, but in this context, right now, she is fighting azula so she can get to zuko to heal him.

here, in the narrative culmination of their arcs together, it shows not just that they trust each other, but asks the audience to not doubt the development of the dynamic that’s been built, to trust that they will take care of each other. and they do.

[brendaareiss]

MORE HEADCANONS BECAUSE YEA

- Cal doesn't actually have any ed, but he's anemic

-Whenever Cal gets into trouble, Andre is the one who gets him out of it

-Cal admires Andre so fucking much, he's like a God to him

-Sometimes Andre zones out while looking at Cal, thinking about how unreal Cal's beauty is

-I'm sure that when they first met in middle school, Cal got quickly attached to him (he was the only one who treated him like a normal person and not like a dumbass). For Andre it took months to be really attached to Cal.

-They would definitely be talking about something pretty serious, and Cal would just start bursting out of laughter. Andre would look him dead in the eye, and Cal would be like: "...wait, you were being serious??"

-Cal is a blanket stealer, and when it gets cold he'll shove his feet in Andre's lower back

-When they first met, Cal was actually taller than Andre, but then, boom, puberty hit and suddenly, Andre was taller than him.

-Andre can easily lift Cal in his arms.

-Cal's little sister often forces him to try her little make up things, she would be the type of sister to say: "if you don't let me do two ponytails in your hair, I'll tell mom I saw you kissing Andre!" and Cal obviously lets her.

-ANDRE KNOWS HOW TO FIX CARS ‼️

-Cal's the type of guy to be twirling his hair and kicking his feet whenever Andre does something

- Whenever Andre gets really stressed or angry at Cal, he'll start throwing soft things to Cal, such as clothes, pillows... Just to relieve anger and not to actually hurt him

- Mel actually hates Cal, but whenever Cal is in Andre's clothes she tolerates him and even sits on his lap

-Cal has the ability to literally fall asleep EVERYWHERE.

- Cal is not trusted with blades, knifes or pills 🙏

-Cal would be such an annoying older brother

- Usually, when Andre wins in track, his legs would go limp. I just know they would hurt so fucking bad

- Cal is absolutely DISGUSTED about the food Andre eats.

- Andre is trying to bulk

- Cal doesn't stand being lifted, he would start tweaking so bad (like a cat in air jail). Andre loves lifting and holding Cal.

-Cal's younger sister would despise Andre, Cal's younger brother would absolutely love him.

I've got some freakier stuff too, but idk if yall would fw that

[jewish-vents]

I was adopted by Jewish people and converted to Judaism when I was a teenager. The morality Judaism offers has guided me through navigating my personality disorder, my severe alexithymia, my impaired judgment and my bouts of irrational paranoia. My original family lost custody of me because they beat me senseless, starved me, burned me, broke my bones and actually killed my sister by beating her to death. My girlfriend, a goy, texted me images of alleged victims of the IDF that a single reverse Google image search would have showed her are victims of US military intervention in Syria. And she honestly said, "Sometimes I think it would be better if you hadn't been adopted so you weren't technically sort of part of Israel."

I've never been to Israel but I have been up all night and now, as the dawn breaks, I've come to the conclusion I need to cut her out of my life. My whole life I've struggled with outbursts of anger, it's a part of most Cluster B personality disorders. When she said that I wasn't angry. I felt hollowed out. It feels like she ripped the personhood out of me. Because if you care about a person's well-being, you would never, EVER look at them and go, "I think it would be better if you had stayed with literal child murderers rather than be Jewish, which I am going to conflate not just with Israel but with the image of the IDF spread online". I can't be angry because it's so cruel I can't wrap my mind around it. It seems unreal. I kept checking for hours, convinced I must be having a break from reality because of the stress. I kept thinking it must be a visual hallucination. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and this is going to be a very strange dream.

I know breaking up with her is going to hurt her very badly no matter how nicely I do it. We've been dating a very long time. But I want to have kids someday and I can't do it with a woman who would rather I be dead than be Jewish. I'm not a guy who does the whole "my partner's beliefs have to match mine" thing but I can't raise Jewish children with her. I can't even trust her to see me clearly.

It's taking everything in my power not to say anything to her until I can calm down enough to approach this from a stable place. In my entire life, I don't think a single thing someone has said has ever messed me up so profoundly in my life.

I'm sorry I'm rambling. I can feel that I'm all over the place. Feel free not to publish this if it's too long. I can't imagine how much stress running this blog is. You probably get a bunch of hate and garbage on top of the already hard job of reading everyone's pain. I hope you're taking care of yourself. Thank you for running this blog.

I'm so sorry for all of that. I think you're making the right decision to cut her out. It's very reasonable to worry about how she might treat any children you have in the future, but that was also an indefensibly cruel thing to say to you.

Breaking up might hurt her, but that isn't your fault. You need to take care of yourself. -🐞

[insomniadreamzz]

Game on

Jinx x Fem!Reader Squid Game AU (may contain season 2 spoilers of Squid Game)

Mentions of blood, violence, little smut

Also sorry for the short smut but I want to focus a bit more on story in this and not write a whole 🌽. 🤣

(Pic edited by me)

„Dear players, the light will shut down in 30 minutes. Please make your ways to your beds“

You hear the voice like every night. So many people have died around you. All the blood you saw, the screams of them, the way they just got shot without any mercy. When you first came here you thought this would be a normal game between you and other people, the winner getting a lot of money but you didn’t expect people actually dying in this. Hundrets of people died.

When the light shut down, you sat in your bed, restless and not wanting to close your eyes yet. People were already arguing, the hate between them getting more present especially after noticing the price will get more after every person that died and with that being ‚disqualified‘.

And then your whole body starts shaking once you heard the female voice again.

„The extra game will start within seconds.“

And then it happened. The lights were flickering, screams echoing through the huge room as everyone attacked, using forks and all they could find to kill each other, blood splattered on the floor, the walls and the beds. It was terrible. You hid under your bed, praying it will stop soon and you don’t have to kill anyone or be killed.

When you opened your eyes you could see someone standing in front of you. You saw a red suit, making your heartbeat going faster, you saw your life already ending but the guard grabbed your wrist and pulled you out of under your bed, you wanted to scream but got shut up by their hand on your mouth. You got dragged along with them through the chaos, everyone else being too distracted into the fight and the flickering light made it hard to see anything clear. The guard kept on dragging you along out of the bedroom and alongthe halls. You didn’t know where they will take you but you followed, not wanting to get back there anyways. You came to a orange hall with many doors and numbers on them, it must be the guards rooms. You got pushed into one, making you stumble backwards and fall on your butt. „Ouch! What the-…“ You started but then the guard slowly took off their hood, seeing the blue hair made your heart skip a beat and once they removed the mask, you lost your breath for a moment. „J-Jinx…?“

„What the hell are you doing here?!“ She shouted at you but you also got angry at her, getting up on your feet again. „Me?! What the hell are you doing here?! I thought you were dead! I-I thought I have lost you and now I meet you here???“ You couldn’t believe it. Many years ago you and Jinx were girlfriends and one day she just disappeared, making you think she died in a fight and now seeing her in front of you was so unreal. You couldn’t hold back your tears as you looked at her, she really was in front of you, alive. „Why did you leave me?! Why did you make me go through all of this??! Have you even thought about how you made me feel??“ You continued, making her frown as she listened to you, hearing your voice crack as you cried in front of her. „I am…sorry. I got into some deep shit and didn’t want you to get into this…“

Her explanation didn’t calm you down at all. You just wanted to punch her for making you think she was dead. Jinx stepped closer to you, pulling you into her arms and all you could do was letting it all out as you kept on crying, hugging her back so tight you were scared she would slip away again. „I wish I could turn back time…but I can’t. I am so sorry I made you feel like this…why do you think I brought you here to my room? I don’t want you to die.“ She mumbled as she cuddled into your hair, keeping you close to her. „I love you too much to let that happen.“ She continued, making your heart skip a beat, looking up at her with teary eyes but you calmed down a little bit at least. You both stare at each other for a moment before you kissed deeply and passionately. You missed the feeling of her lips on yours so much.

She guided you to the little bed she had in her room, never breaking the kiss as she got on top of you, her hands taking off your green jacket before making you lay down. „Fuck I missed you so much.“ She mumbled against your lips, wanting to feel you better so she took off her black gloves and removed her suit, tossing them to the side. Your eyes widen as you saw her only wearing her underwear, missing that view. „What? It can get very hot under that suit.“ She explained herself but you didn’t care, you pulled her down to you, kissing her again, this time you moved your tongue inside of her mouth, wanting to be as close as possible as your hands roam along her beautiful body, her cold hands slipping under your shirt in return, sending shivers down your spine.

You let her undress you, you both being now exposed to each other, admiring your bodies before her lips found their way down along your neck and chest, making you hum so softly. „Fuck…I missed you.“ You whine out, feeling her teeth nibbling on your sensitive skin. You both ended up in a moaning mess, making love to each other as if it was the last time. Her wet cunt sliding against yours, sending shiver through your body every time her hard clit rubbed against yours, her thrusts becoming faster when she felt close and soon you felt her pulse against you as you both reached your orgasm, moaning out each others names, making her collapse on you as she wrapped her arms around you, holding you so tight. „Damn…I love you so much…“ You heard her whisper, her voice sounding like she was crying and you weren’t wrong with that thought.

„Why are you crying?“ You dared to ask, making her hug you tighter if it was even possible. „Because I am scared…if I let you go you might die at the next game…if I keep you with me and they find out…either I have to kill you or we both get killed.“ She sniffed, cuddling into the crook of your neck. Your hand came up to caress her back gently, trying to calm her down but she was right. There won’t be any guarantees for you to win all the games and get shot. You just found each other again after so long and now it should end? No way.

„You know…I made friends out there. It sounds crazy but not all of them are bad.“ You mentioned, remembering the others you got to meet in here, wondering if they still alive.

// Flashback //

The first game had started. A lot of the people who were around you made fun of it, the game was simple. Green light red light. A game many knew from their childhood. Little did you know this had a terrible twist.

One moved when you had to stay still and a loud bang made chaos erupt as the person got shot. Many lost their mind, screaming and wanting to run for their life but everyone got shot that didn’t stand still. Your own knees getting weak but you tried your best not to move even though the only emotion you could feel in this moment was fear.

The creepy looking puppet turned its head around again and you could run again but you tripped over your own feet just when it was to turn to you again but someone grabbed your jacket and held you just in place.

„Don’t fucking move…“ A deep female voice told you, your forehead was all sweaty as you tried not to make a move, you didn’t even dare to breathe and then finally you could move again. Two more rounds you managed to keep yourself still, hearing more shots and people screaming. You fell on your knees once you reached over the line, you realised you survived. Your heart felt like it’s going to jump out of your chest when you looked back, so many dead bodies, so much blood. It felt like being in a horror movie but it was real.

Back in the room where all people had their beds, you sat on yours with your knees to your chest, slowly realising that you can die when you will fail a game. You were scared but you were here now, knowing there is no going back. „You okay?“ A strong looking female with short hair went over to you, you looked at her with teary eyes. „You saved my life…“ You just mumbled and she sat down beside you. „This is a fucked up place isn’t it?“ She said, a little sigh escaping her lips. „What does a woman like you do in here?“ She kept in asking to change the subject but the question made you more sad. „I…wanted to get more money to hire people to find my girlfriend…she disappeared and they couldn’t find her yet…maybe she is dead but I don’t want to believe that.“ You felt a tear run down your cheek, quickly wiping it away. „Why are you here?“ You asked in return. „Gambling.“ Her answer was short but it made sense to you. You can either win or lose your money with gambling but in here you lose your life.

„I see…“ You just nod and she offered you her hand. „I am Sevika.“ You looked at her before shaking her hand, telling her your name in return.

„Hey you two! Can we sit with you?“ A male voice asked, you looked up to see a man walking up to you with messy long hair and a beard, a thin man with also a bit of longer hair followed him. „I am Jayce! And that’s Victor! We figured it would be good to make friends here to habe a better chance of winning.“ He continued and all you could do was nod in response. „Sure. Maybe having friends in here could help…plus it can make it easier to go through this hell together right?…“

And with that you got some people around you to talk to you and make it a little easier to go through all of this but the fear of losing them if you get too close was also hurting. Whatever you need to survive, get out of here and find Jinx.

// End of flashback //

You told Jinx about how you met Sevika, Victor and Jayce. Little did you know Jinx already knew. „You know…we have cameras everywhere and I saw you hanging out with them. Of course I always watched you when I had to…shoot those people. I hoped I didn’t have to shoot you or see you being shot…“ Jinx‘s voice cracked at the end of her sentence, you could feel she hated what she had to do but you knew she was forced to.

„Yeah…hopefully they didn’t die when the fight in the bedroom escalated. I bet if you didn’t take me with you, I wouldn’t have make it. I just…I can’t kill people even if they attack me you know…it’s just not me.“ You explained, feeling her hand caressing your hair, making you close your eyes at her gentle touch. „Sometimes you have to kill to survive.“ She told you. Jinx wasn’t wrong with that but you rather run like a scared bunny would run from their predator. „I know…“

Suddenly both of you got interrupted by a knock on the door, Jinx getting up quickly before putting her suit back on, throwing your clothes towards you and you did the same, quickly dressing yourself.

„Soldier 013 open the door.“ A voice said and Jinx refused for a moment. „Who’s there? What do you want?“ She asked but there was no reply. With a loud bang the door got open and another soldier in a pink suit but a square on his mask entered, knocking both of you out before anyone of you two could even do something.

When you woke up, you found yourself tied on a chair and Jinx was the same in front of you, groaning as she opened her eyes. „Where are we…?“ You mumbled, still feeling the headache. Jinx‘s eyes widen when she realised where you were. „In the main room…from here they control everything.“ She said, eyes searching for someone but it didn’t take long until someone with a black suit and black mask walked out if the shadows.

„Just look who’s there. I knew I couldn’t trust you since I knew your girlfriend was here. You can’t follow my orders can you? I told you you should do what I say or this will end bad for you.“ The masked man said, holding up a gun. „But I know you like playing games…so why not include a fun game? Maybe your last or your girlfriend’s last game…“

„Dont! I beg you leave her out of this!“ Jinx shouted at him, you had the feeling she knew him. „Why would I? You broke the rules which leads to a punishment.“ He sighed, placing the gun now into your hand. „Let’s play russian roulette. There is only one bullet in this gun. You either lose or win. Only one of you. Have fun.“ He ordered, your whole body shaking and tears running down your cheeks. „F-Fuck…I am so sorry I didn’t want this to happen.“ Jinx said but you shook your head in response. „It’s not your fault…“ You said with a shaky voice, holding the gun against your head, eyes squeezed shut as you pulled the trigger but you only heard a click.

Now it was Jinx turn. You handed her the gun with shaky hands and she did the same as you did before, squeezing her eyes shut before pulling the trigger but thankfully there was also only a clicking sound. You sighed, feeling relieved but seeing Jinx cry in front of you just like you did broke you.

„I-…I did this to find you and now…I found you and I will lose you again. That’s not fair!“ You shouted, feeling like your heart will break into a thousand pieces.

The man who brought you two into this situation suddeny looked at the monitors, he panicked a little seeing players attacking the soldiers with their own guns. „Dammit! All soldiers go down! We need to stop them!“ He ordered and pushed a red button, making a siren appear through the whole building. Your eyes widen when you tried to look at the screen, you knew them.

„You two! Don’t fucking try anything! I want to see when one of you dies.“ He turned towards you, Jinx grunting in return. „As if we gonna continue this shit.“

Gunshots could be heard everywhere and they got louder by time. The man in the black suit struggling to keep his man alive, no matter how many soldiers he sent out, you saw more and more of them die on the screen and then, they reached the control room, shooting a few guards who were in here with you before aiming at the man who forced you to play russian roulette.

„Sevika! Jayce! Victor! I knew it!“ You cheered happily, not knowing they planned to get out of here but the more happy you got realising they won’t let you down.

„Told ya we are friends didn’t I?“ Sevika said, smirking as she aimed at the man with the black mask while Jayce and Victor removed the ties from you and Jinx so you could move freely again. Jinx grabbed a gun from a dead guard and stood before you in a protective way.

„Now…remove your damn mask I wanna see who you are. You fucking sick asshole.“ Sevika grumbled and the man gave in, removing his mask to reveal his face. It was a man with a huge scar on the other half of his face. Only Jinx didn’t look surprised, she knew him just as you thought. „Jinx…you know him right?“ You said as you stepped closer to her from behind. „Sadly…this asshole is my stepfather Silco who can’t get enough money…“ She grumbled and your eyes widen in shock. „Your what?!…is that why you left so sudden?“ You kept on asking but she only nodded in response.

Before anything you heard a loud bang like a explosion and the whole place started shaking like an earthquake. Making you all feel caught off guard for a moment. „They are here…“ Silco said as he looked up at the ceiling. „What now? You wanna kill me??!“ The man snarled, making Sevika scoff in return.

„No. If anyone is going to shoot him it’s me.“ Jinx stepped forward with a serious expression, her eyes watery. She was hurt but she couldn’t go on like this. „You gave me a home but you used me as one of your weapons to kill people in this stupid fucking game and make money of their organs. I left the love of my life because of you and all you did with me was using me. Why else would you want me to die playing a stupid gane with my girlfriend?“ She said with a surprisingly calm voice as she pointed the gun towards him. „You stupid girl! I calculated it so she would get the bullet and not you!“ Silco shouted at her, making her feel even more angry. „You think I would stay after seeing my girlfriend die before my eyes?! You’re so sick. I feel sick being your stepdaughter.“ Just the second Jinx shot him, some people reached the control room. One of them was a man Silco‘s age with a beard and the other two following him were two women. One with pink hair, the other dark blue hair. They were clearly from the police.

„Jinx?…“ The pink haired woman knew her. „Vi?…“ Jinx turned to look at her. You heard that name once, remembering Jinx sister was named Violet and goes with the name Vi. She seemed to know the man too, tears running down the blue haired girls cheeks as she let the gun fall and ran into their arms. „I thought I won’t ever see you again!“ She cried into their arms. You and the others watched the scene in awe. These two, they were Jinx family. But why did she leave them. „S-Silco…he told me you are dead! I thought I have no one left anymore!“ She kept on crying, seeing your girlfriend break down in tears hurt you but you also felt happy they reunited. „That’s my sister Vi and my father Vander.“ Jinx explained as she looked at you, making you smile a little, feeling happy for her.

Vander just moved out of the hug as he saw Silco on the ground, a puddle of blood under his thin figure. „I knew my brother was sick but that’s just…too much.“ Vander said, lifting up the lifeless body of his brother. „I am sorry he made such a terrible thing.“ Even though Silco did a terrible thing Vander couldn’t just leave his body here, wanting to burry him.

„In the room above us we captured some rich idiots who had fun watching this all. They won’t be able to harm anyone in here anymore. Let’s get out of here and the police will do the rest. We called more of our troops to get to this location. Everyone else in this building alive or not will be taken out of here.“ Vi explained and soon all of you made their way out of this hell, leaving the rest to the specialists.

You were finally home again, alive and with Jinx by your side. „It still feels like a nightmare…“ You mumbled as you and Jinx were all cuddled up in bed. „I didn’t know you sister and father worked for the police.“

„Neither did I…“ Jinx mentioned. She thought they were dead but thankfully they weren’t. You looked up at her with so much love as you caressed her cheek. „I am sorry glad we made it out of there and having you with me again.“ You said softly, making her smile back at you. „I am also happy to be back with you again. I love you.“ She kissed you gently, making you melt into her touch. „I love you too.“ You whispered softly against her lips.

[ak319]

Yan G!P Princess x fem reader

(Warnings: Stalking, Possessive themes) PART II ➺ Prev ⤷ Series m.list

(Kade's Pov):

Fuck everything.

"Kade, what is up with you mate? Huh? It was just a match. You didn't have to storm off like that!. What would they think of us, the seniors? That we are some sensitive babies who can't handle a single loss of a friendly match of rugger?" God, the urge to cut off her tongue right now. My temper has been everywhere since you hung up on me two days ago. And today due to less focus, we lost a rugby football match to a bunch of undergraduate freshmen. We lost. I lost. Now in the locker room, my friend Leah and others were disappointed at my behaviour. It made me more agitated since I had been playing Rugger since I was a high schooler and now I am doing my Master's degree back at Harvard. Leah and I go back to when we arrived here to do a Bachelor's in Economics. And now we are back after a year.

"At least say something, Princess." Oh so this is how it's going to be. That was the last straw. I threw away my shoulder pad and shoved Leah against the lockers immediately causing other teammates to come to pry me off her. We both held each other in a feral stare.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?! YOU DARE MOCK ME?! HUH?! DON'T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU HEAR ME! I LOST TO A BUNCH OF FUCKING NEWBIES AND I NEVER LOOSE! I ALWAYS WIN! I ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT!" The outburst drew in a brief silence which I could tell was because of shock and confusion. This was the first time my self-control strayed.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Kade?! YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY LOST YOUR MARBLES!." She snapped back.

Before I could land a hit on her, I was pulled off from Leah by Ruth and this time I let go of Leah, both of us still in the guarded stance ready to break each other's jaw if the other one makes a move.

"STOP THIS! BOTH OF YOU! God, It was just a game! Forget about it! Don't make the matter worse by making it reach the dean's office. Get it? You fucktards?!" I let out a huff trying to get my temper in check.

"Never call me a Princess, Leah. You know better than that." Without sparing another glance to others, I just stormed out and went to my dorm slamming the door shut.

I let out a huff and some curses as I threw my duffle bag on the ground and flopped on my bed. I went towards my drawer and took out the burner phone I had brought few days ago and finally decided to use it.

I wanted to check if your number is still off. Which it is. 'God, this woman.' The rage that I feel right now is unreal and the fact that I am unintentionally angry at you makes me more angry. I don't want to be mad at you but the things you do just make me furious.

I took out my own phone and dialed the only person who can assist me at the moment.

Liam. He works in the intelligence. All the information I get about Deniz, is through him.

"Greetings, Kade. How may I be of service?" As formal as always.

"Mhm , yes, Liam. Sup. Um, kindly tell me about her. Any news?"

"Actually, I was just about to call you today but something came up early in the morning."

"It's alright, just spit it out already."

He cleared his throat before continuing. " I got a call from CAA at 10 a.m. today and got told that she had a flight to (your country/city), yesterday in the morning."

What the fuck could have made you--wait, did you go there because of me?

"A-and for how long is she gone for? Come on , tell me the details!"

"It was a one-way ticket and that's it. That's what I've got so far, your grace."

Lord have mercy.

I cut the call and gripped the edge of my bed as I sat and looked down at my feet contemplating. So she ran huh? Quiet cute to be honest.

I let out a tired chuckle and took my shirt off as I leaned against the headboard. Do you want to play like this? You think you can just sit on a plane and never come back.

My eyes wandered to the envelope on my study desk. It was from the palace, informing me about the field matter as if I didn’t already know. I couldn’t help but let another wave of laughter escape my lips. The forest isn’t, well, mine. Sure, I hunted there from time to time, but it’s not in my name. It was just a little game I played with Deniz, with Richard’s help, of course. He did a great job playing my advocate. And so did the Mayor.

Father was not delighted about all of this when he got the whiff of the matter. He along with my family are by now aware of my infatuation for you.

When the first time I saw you playing, I was mesmerized and couldn't get you out of my head. Then I finally asked Reece to introduce me to you. That night, your performance was staggering as always. The way you carried yourself on the field, the sheer determination, your body's agility, everything, just absolutely sublime.

I understand that my method of pursuing you at that time was rather unconventional and serpentine, to say the least, but I had my reasons. Before I could muster the courage to make a proper confession, Reece had already conveyed my feelings to you. Even so, my heart clung to a fragile hope that perhaps you might still say yes. But… no. You rejected me with a coldness that pierced deeper than I ever imagined.

I chose Reece to subtly court you on my behalf, having observed the muted affection you showed her—so evident in the way your eyes softened when you were near her. The smile you gave her, and the shyness that surfaced in her presence, all spoke volumes. I couldn’t resist using this to my advantage, to teach you the lesson that Reece didn’t see you in the same light. Reece herself concurred with my approach.

Nevertheless, how dare you?. How. Fucking. Dare, Reece gets to have you get all fuzzy and not me? I am and will always be better than her. Better than every fucking creature on this land. Is being a Princess a joke to you? It was kind of soothing to at least get to know from Reece that you had broken off contact with her.

The reason that I was so bad at coming forward like a normal person who's interested in you was that at that time, I wasn't aware of the depth of my feelings. My thoughts were clouded by a fleeting desire to simply have you for a night but after getting to know you....I couldn't just use you like that. Even under that tough exterior of yours, I spotted innocence, and a sense of normalcy and the way you were so nonchalant around me, drew me in further. After the rejection though my heart wavered between resentment and affection for you. How could you reject me? Reject Kade Alexander Emsworth? In the end--love prevailed, and here I am.

I tried my best to kick you out of my mind but couldn't even after I dated potential suitors that were getting chosen for me, like Juniper Smith who I even got engaged to at some point, a daughter of some businessman. My heart was not in it though. Because I couldn't stop myself from thinking about you or keeping tabs on you. I couldn't do injustice to her or anyone for that matter, so I broke it off and told my family about it. About this....this sickness that I have. The fucking love I have for you. Oh, what a lethal meld it is of these confusing sentiments inside me. Love, annoyance, the constant craving, excitement...God. Then at the beginning of this year, I tried to reconnect with you but you pushed me away every time and I had to resort to these cheap measures to grab your attention even though it only ended up with me getting cursed back to seven generations, but I am used to it by now. When you go low, I will go lower Deniz.

I got up and took a cold shower. During that, I thought over the current situation and came up with an idea. A splendid one.

Ruth barged into my room as I finished packing and her expression morphed into a puzzled one. "Off to where?"

"England."

"What?! But what about our final project?! We have only worked half of it dude." She gave me a light shove on the shoulder. "For God's sake Ruth , I am not dying. I will work with you all online. Look, it's important for me to leave, princess duties. I just got a call so.."

She heaved a sigh. "Is it because of Leah-

"Of course not, you know we scuffle all the time. You know what? For your sake, I'll apologize to her? Kay?" She nodded with a tight-lipped smile. Everybody knows that Leah and I were like sisters.

════∘◦❁◦∘════

(Your POV)

After arriving at my family's home on the first day, I first relaxed and savoured the comfort of being with my loved ones. Later, I went to my bedroom to call my service provider and get a new number—it’s a routine I’ve grown accustomed to. It was only then that I realized I was crying while doing it.

Why is she doing this? Why can't I be left alone? There is a limit to how many times I can change my number. The thought that she can easily access my new numbers leaves no space for the doubt that I am being spied on heavily. Of course, it's so easy for her to do that. After calming myself down and reminding myself that I am stronger than this, I sat in silence as I took deep breaths.

The events of back in Southampton played back in my head. My job, the forest, Richard's words, 'She takes her duties very seriously.'

It's that damned city where I first met the piece of shit for God's sake.

I went to the police numerous times, even to the London Metropolitan, but they never took me seriously. Why would they? Who would believe someone accusing a princess? They looked at me as if I were delusional, schizophrenic, just another obsessed girl. Why can’t they see that it’s the other way around?

Only my family can provide me the warmth. And talking about family, I really thought about all of this. So I told them everything. From the start. And they did their best to first comfort and support me and then my father just straight up told me to resign and stay here with them. To be honest, I had thought about it after I got to know about her intervention in the field matter. But I really loved my job. It broke my heart to realize that I would have to give up so much just to have peace of mind. But I had to do it.

It was the morning after, and here I was playing cricket with two of my cousins and some neighbourhood kids in our backyard, feeling much better. In the back of my mind, I was still waiting for Clara's response to my resignation e-mail that I sent her this morning.

Your mum called you from inside saying that Clara was calling making you dash inside to answer the phone.

"What's all this? Are you for real?" Despite her firm tone I could make out the pain in her voice. What else did I expect?

"Clara-" I paused and went to the privacy of my room first. "It's--it was really hard for me to do this but I have to. I have to for myself and for our organization, your organization, Clara."

"What the fuck are you on about?! Can you elaborate here?"

Okay, guess this is time to inform everything her too. Wait--what if my calls are being listened to?. Damn it. What the hell should I do?!

"Hello? Deniz??" I stopped chewing my nails and took a breath. Honestly, I don't give a damn. Hence I spilled everything to her just like I did to my family.

She took in the information and I could just picture her posture and face as she sat on her desk chair , her leg bouncing in frustration.

"God, Deniz. I am going bonkers. This whole situation is bonkers. Why didn't you tell me this face to face!? You should have told me this sooner! Instead, you ran away! We could have confronted that Richard piece of shit in front of the Mayor there and then!"

"I didn't run away! I needed peace! A break! And I --look Clara, please. Try to understand, that could have made matters worse. The field was more important to us at the moment. Try to understand."

"I do understand, Deniz. And don't you, for a second, think that I am not on your side. I am here for you, got it?. I just--could've helped you better here. Could've gotten you hooked with some contacts. Look, I can still help you."

My pace slowed down as I stood in front of my mirror. "How?"

"Media, Deniz. There's so much you could do with the power of it. You just need the support of the people-

I cut her call, turned on my VPN and called her again. "Sorry for that, yeah so, listen --the thing is, if I were to make some video on her what proof would I show Clara?."

"Those teammates of yours in highschool--surely they must have some photos or something-"

"Yes, photos. What do photos prove, Clara? Interference in my job? Constant calling? My phone being hacked or something? No. It just proves that we were 'friends' once. I have nothing against her! She only calls me so I don't even have texts. I would get roasted the shit out of if I post on Tiktok or anywhere. And even those teammates don't know about this current situation of mine and they also will have nothing solid on her except... words." I started pacing again and we both went silent, listening to each other breathe for a minute. As I sat down on my bed, she spoke up again.

"I still can't believe a princess is doing that. Like, she isn't getting enough attention from her mummy and daddy? She was even engaged. I heard once from Alfie but she broke it off. Weirdo." Her comment made me let out a dry chuckle. I couldn't care less about her personal life. But I wished that she had just gotten married to her ex-fiance or anyone by now.

"No, Boss. I think she gets plenty of attention from everywhere, this is the first time she isn't getting any and she is going mad...Clara. I can't help but be afraid. Why can't she just get it that I am not interested in her like that? If I ever decide to be with someone, I want them to be just a normal civilian. I don't want to be with a royal!"

"I get you. Some people have air inside instead of brains. But don't you dare be scared or paranoid! It's not your fault! It's fucking harassment at this point. Deniz, didn't I tell you that the forest was no one's property, it was government-owned, not by some royalty. It was true."

"So--the Mayor would've known about this too, right?" My chest tightened as I gripped my bedsheet in anger.

Clara sighed in frustration. "Of course. God, this is enough to sue them all. ALL OF THEM!!" Of course, she would say that. I couldn't agree more with her though. "At the end of the day--they are all rich sons and daughters of bitches. Always remember these words." She hesitated before continuing. "You know you won't believe that I am going to say this and for the record, I am not saying this to support whatever she's doing but to point it out. People sometimes do batshit crazy things when in love, Deniz."

"So!? That doesn't make it right. I don't even know why she is after me of all people."

"I know , I know. You are absolutely right. It is crazy. Hey you know what? Imma go call the Mayor's office and see if-

"Clara the matter is already settled! You cannot just call and ask 'Hey, I was wondering that did a certain Princess order you to do this cuz of my assistant?' As if they would tell you shit. They must have been paid and they wouldn't disclose anything. I am telling you this now, it's stupid." I heard a bang which indicated that she fisted her desk.

"Look! Let me handle this okay? I have my ways. A call ain't gonna hurt anyone. And I am definitely not gonna mention all of THIS! It remains between us. Imma just talk about the forest ownership, okay? Now, I'll call you later. Take a breather for now, okay? Go enjoy your time. I'll...get you on with you about your... resignation."

"Okay, thank you Clara. Goodbye. Also use VPN while calling me."

"Kay, of course, relax now. Don't beat yourself for these crazy assholes. She won't harm you. Got it?. Goodbye, love." I subconsciously nodded and cut the call. Her words soothed me to a good extent. 'Okay. Relax, Deniz. It's not that serious. Don't think of it as so serious. You are home, back with everyone. One day or another she will find someone else, after all, she is a princess, and she will get tired.'

You went back to the yard and grabbed the ball from your cousin, just praying every second to not receive a call from an unknown number any time soon.

════∘◦❁◦∘════

(Kade's Pov):

"It's getting out of hand now, Kade!. Have some self fucking respect. You seriously cannot be asking for this right now!" My gaze remained hardened as Dad and I stood facing each other.

���Language, husband,” Mummy reprimanded, but we were both too absorbed to pay her any attention.

I was now standing in the living room of the palace, my dad scolding me due to the forest matter and arriving back early.

"Father, I assure you, I am here to solve all of it—once and for all." He kneaded the side of his head, letting his hoary hair spill through the gaps between his fingers.

"Really? How? I just don't get you. Why are you so desperate over her?! You are my daughter! A fucking Princess! Have some dignity. No other girl will reject you--do you even know how many good families have their eyes on you for their daughters?!"

"THAT'S THE THING! I DON'T WANT THEM, I WANT HER!" I backed away and took a few steps to calm myself, their disturbed expressions reminded me of the same look my teammates had on their faces in the locker room.

"You all are aware of this! Why can't you just let me be?. I tried 'courting' those girls who you are so fond of! Even got engaged! It didn't work, okay?!. Look, Dad, I will have her here. As your daughter-in-law. Trust me. Very soon. Just do what I requested, please." He turned his back on me as he went to gaze out the window.

"Why can't you accept that she doesn't like you that way. How will the marriage even work, my dear?." Mummy's words made my head snap, and my eyes wandered to the fireplace. The fire mimicked the burning passion inside my heart and I raised my chin proudly.

“It will, Mummy. Are you forgetting how royals used to marry? The worst matches endured because they had to—because they were royal matches and I’m not just some random woman on the street, as Dad said. She’s just…” I paused, offering a gentle smile. “A little shy, scared thing. A bit overwhelmed. I know her. She doesn’t hate me—she’ll come around. Believe me.” I looked at Dad and stepped closer, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulders.

"I won't disappoint you."

"Oh, but your future wife already has, daughter." His words made me swallow a sudden surge of irritation. Yet, his resentment is valid, I can't deny that. Damn Deniz, you already have started family drama without even being here. Such a mischief-maker you are, darling.

"You will love her, Dad. And you too...Mummy. She is lovely, everything I can ever want. Anyway...there is something else I have to discuss with you Dad, but later. For now, I have to go prepare for the event."

"Fine, I will have the arrangements made. But Kade, end all of this as soon as you can, you hear me? This is your last chance, after this, I won't allow any more of this pathetic lovelorn scheming of yours." As if I need his support. I offered a slight bow to both of them and chuckled in excitement.

"I will be forever grateful, your Highness. I promise this is the last time." And made my exit, not missing to wink at Julian who was sitting nonchalantly in a corner, the middle brother who is 2 years older than me. He was silently observing this whole ordeal. I didn't even notice him till now. He always has been a quiet one.

Being the youngest of three children certainly had its perks and did I forget to mention, being a princess too? Haha!

I gave Richard a nod as I spotted him in the hallway and couldn’t help but smirk as I climbed the staircase. Oh, there’s no finer intoxication quite like power, and when you mix it with love and passion, the exuberance that follows is simply unparalleled...

My steps were deliberately relaxed as I walked in the familiar corridors, taking in the sumptuous and grand interior. I will never get bored of this. Damn, I sound so sybaritic right now. It's just--it's like something is changing from within me...because of you. I wonder if there has been a Princess like me before, wandering these halls due to the agonizing yearning for her lover. I think I did read once in the palace's library that there was one by the name of Keira Emsworth, my great, great something. Guess I inherited her genes.

I’m the same Kade who used to feel a twinge of jealousy over my older sister Romana being the heir. But now, the throne means nothing to me. After all, who needs a useless throne in this day and age?

You, however, matter to me more than anything now, you are not my obsession at this point...you are my persistence. A goal, that I will achieve. A challenge I won't fail, and won't give up.

I reached the door of a room, the room that I always somehow return alone to. Every single fucking time. My breath quickened and my fists clenched. Why can't I open it? I straightened up and with a determined sigh, I put my hand on the knob.

"I made sure to keep it spotless while you were away, your Grace." Richard's soft voice spoke from behind me but I just nodded curtly without turning back.

"Good job." He knew that this praise was not only for doing the former chore but his contribution to my plan. Without wasting another second I stepped inside and turned on the lights, but for some reason kept my eyes closed until I locked the door.

Walking a few steps in I finally opened my eyes and surveyed the amenities. This wasn't my personal room. This room, I had specifically asked for to be arranged and decorated for the day I bring you here in this palace as my bride. It's our room. It is to be remained unused and untouched by me till then, just another little game that I made. I chose every single thing for this room. I just hope it's to your liking. I inhaled deeply, savouring the fragrance that filled the air. God, it was the perfume you used to wear. I stalked to the foot of the large downy canopy bed and stood with my arms behind my back.

"Why are you doing this to me, Deniz? You are so cruel. Yet," I was about to sit on the bed but refrained myself. 'No, it's a challenge, don't forget it. Your motivation, Kade. Bring her here first , then touch the stuff.'

"yet, I burn for you. For your love." I pulled out my phone and looked at a picture of you from high school. Although I had newer photos, I was drawn to the old ones for some reason. They evoked a poignant nostalgia for my own youth and the faint moments we shared. I gazed at the image of you in a cricket shirt, leaning on a bat with that charming, adorable smile. The urge to pull you into my arms and never let go, to hear your giggles, was as vehement as ever. I reflected your smile back, imagining you were looking at me.

"I am sorry for what I am about to do Deniz. But I have to, love."

Next

[raainberry]

Corrupt Kisses

« silly series - 12 »

synopsis - is corruption really a crime if it’s Sana’s kisses?

wordcount - 725

A/N - finally fought back writers block, we cheered🥳 (i am losing)

You never found your name special until you heard Sana say it. There was something behind the way she sounded it out; a feeling, a meaning. It felt as though it meant something to her. Something bigger than you could ever understand.

You knew it had something to do with the obvious love and affection she felt for you, yet you couldn’t quite tell the reason. Why she felt this way about you was beyond you, but you’d be a fool not to accept it.

You just hoped her love ran as deep as yours did for her, and it seemed like it. Especially when she left those sweet, soft kisses all over your face for whatever reason.

The small glimpses of happiness you caught on her glowing features felt unreal. Your heart fluttered at the sight every time, confused and unable to process how such beauty was reserved for you and only you.

That feeling, along with the overwhelming amount of love pouring out of her lips in those moments, often made you dizzy. The only thing you could grasp and distinguish was her giggles, her voice as she teased you about how you loved it despite all your grimacing and whining.

“Y/n…” Sana sung, dodging your hands and arms as you tried to push her love away. She managed to steal a few kisses here and there, weakening your defense, but you held up.

All those kisses were all fun and games until she used them against you, baiting and bribing you on the regular over harmless and ridiculous tasks. Last time she did, you found yourself carrying her home on your back for several blocks. She was well aware of her power, you enjoyed it, but maybe it was time for restrictions…

“Can you please help me?” She whined through giggles as you crossed your arms over your face. That way she couldn’t numb your common sense with that sweet love of hers.

“You’re so foul, Sana, using my love for your dirty jobs!” You wiped her kisses off your cheeks and she scoffed.

“I am not using you! I’m just asking you to do me a little favor.” She argued, playing with the collar of your shirt.

You sighed, dropping your arms below your nose to peek at her. Her eyes immediately met yours, abandoning the fabric between her fingers in order to put her full focus on that pout you couldn’t say no to.

“That’s the same thing.” You pointed out, taking her aback.

Had she lost her charm? Why didn’t it work? Did you fall out of love? Her thoughts were far from reasonable until she felt your hands cupping her face, lightly squishing her cheeks together and smiling at the sight of her. “Admit it.”

“Only if you actually help me.” She said, still pouting but in an angry way now, letting you know she was set on making you fold.

In a way, you could understand her dedication. She had gotten herself in a bit of trouble by hosting the latest get together with her friends. Her living room was a hot mess, to the point your jaw dropped when you walked in moments ago. You guessed it hasn’t been long since she woke up when you saw her bedhead dragging a trashbag, lazily pulling and grabbing whatever waste was closest to her.

“Last time I helped you it took us hours, I’m not going through this again!” You told her as your mind flashed back to the terrifying memories of that one day (also known as Sana’s birthday morrow).

“But it was different, that was like the whole apartment…”

“That’s not at all why it took us hours.” You reminded her, and a smile creeped on her lips as she remembered the numerous ways you’d gotten side tracked.

“Okay, but it won’t take long if we actually stick to cleaning up.”

“No kisses, no snack breaks, no breather, nothing.” You warned and she shook her head, agreeing to the conditions.

“Only cleaning up, I promise.” She said before stealing a kiss from your lips. “Starting from now.”

You could only blink and stare as she slipped away from your hold, her melodious giggles letting you know how proud she was of herself.

“I can still leave and let you deal with this alone, you know?” You said, trying to erase the blush from her kiss.

“Sure you can, but you won’t.” She smiled, sure of herself.

And she had every reason to be.

[velvetvexations]

I feel like a lot of the trans women saying that masculinity/manhood is always rewarded in everyone because patriarchy often forget that the opposite is true, actually, for people who are seen as women/put in the "woman" category.

Because yes, trans women are usually forced into manhood and "rewarded" for being men, and punished for being women. But that's not because manhood is universally rewarded in everyone, but because partriarchy sees having been born with a penis as "man".

It also sees being born with a vagina as "woman", and every deviation from that is *also* punished.

Yes, people who are seen as women/girls may have more freedom in expression of gender (depending on where they are from. I hate when ppl act like people afab everywhere can just dress like men without punishment. There are so many countries with laws on what "women" (and those treated as women because of their agab) can wear, and if anyone believes for one second that breaking these laws is REWARDED in any way, they're so fucking deep in their own head and need to talk to someone from these countries) but that freedom was fought for by feminists! Feminists have fought to be simply just allowed to wear pants. It's ridiculous to look at how it is now (in the western world) and make conclusions on that without looking at *why* it is that way now and how it was before.

And people are usually expected to grow out of their tomboy-"phase" by the time they reach their late teens, or early twenties at latest, and become a feminine woman, wife, and mother. If you don't do that, your masculinity gets punished.

And the masculinity of people afab is also only (begrudgingly) accepted (in SOME places in the world) as long as they're still visible as women or girls and their masculinity is hot and serves cishet men. As soon as they step "too far" out of these roles (by being non-binary or men, or being "ugly", fat, or anything that would make them "undesirable"), their masculinity gets punished. Horribly.

It's really infuriating when (trans)radfem trans women try to act like their experiences are universal and whenever someone says something that disagrees with them, they must be lying or "delusional" (yay, ableism! so progressive /s) for thinking that they were, in fact, punished for their masculinity or manhood...

Sorry for unloading this on you, didn't know where else to put it. And thank you so much for listening.

I think a major issue here is that no matter how much we try to reason things out and work through why they act the way they do, radical feminism, trans or cis, ultimately comes down, at some point, to a deliberate decision to prioritize egocentrism and their own desires over seeing other people as real, actual people - not even other transfems, who they just sexualize and try to control, or call a TERF if they can't. And it's hard to reason with that.

Like, they have to know on some level that they hyperinflate trans women in particular being "socially murdered"* to use as social capital and terrorize younger** transfems into isolating themselves. Maybe a very long time ago for some of them it came from the distress they felt from the legitimately immense danger transfems face in a variety of contexts, but they've shot far beyond that now and just don't really care. They've built a cage of unreality around themselves that makes me feel like I'm talking to aliens.

Like the other day, I was talking to one who insisted that the tee-em-ees will not show up for me. Like, I said they did, and she said they won't, and I was like, but they DO! They have! Always! I've seen it with my own eyes, directly for me specifically! But it was just "who hurt you," "let yourself be angry," "don't settle for just scraps," "they won't treat you better if you throw yourself at their feet," "social murder," and it's like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ARE YOU HAVING A STROKE? WAS THIS A DREAM YOU HAD?

And what about the deliberately cruel fuckery, the constant derision of the most petty things like forcemasc? What the fuck do they get out of wrongly asserting that women are never punished for masculinity and never have a problem with being viewed as masculine, like why are they doing that, what is their goal? Because it seems like it's literally just "mock and invalidate the sexual interests of others and deem it an inferior copy of our thing."

What do they get out of misgendering cis and trans men for forcefem funsies and telling them to suck it up? They don't really believe that their forcefem joke is the only thing that might make an egg crack. That's extremely obviously a lie. They're doing it because they want to, because it's their kink, because they don't care about the feelings of other people, and they can use transmisogyny as a convenient defense when people ask them to moderate literally any of their behavior for the comfort of everyone else to literally any extent while demanding everyone else shut up and defer to them on every single topic in every single situation.

And this stuff with D20 and Ophiuchus and the transmasc character being treated better? A lie. Just fully making it up. Inventing it. Fabricating it. For attention.

I've never had one acknowledge it when I've tried to explain that I first learned about all of this from transmasc friends bringing it to me so they could defer to my opinion.

They're determined to stay like this. It sucks.

*truly a phrase that makes me livid to even think about now, they reduce it to about the same level of seriousness as forcefem jokes, every single time it's so thoughtlessly hollow and self-obsessed but you could guess that from it being a fair description of every thought they externalize

**let me make this clear, I'm referring to young adults, I am not accusing anyone of being predatory towards minors nor am I saying the motivations are necessarily sexual anyway, although clearly transradfems don't care about the effect their hyperbole will have on the mental health of minors exposed to it and trained from a young age to never trust anyone, so underage transfems are very much a concern here, but not in the sense that they're being directly and personally abused in any way

[gffa]

One of the biggest hurdles with the Lockwood and Co. books is that they're set entirely from Lucy Carlyle's point of view and there is a whole lot of body shaming that really set my teeth on edge when I first read it. Some of it is still just awful, but I've come around on that I can read a lot of it as Lucy's unexamined issues from childhood rearing their heads in some nasty ways.

Her relationships with all the characters around her are contentious and full of conflict even just in her thoughts, she's so nasty to George, to Holly, to the Skull, to Kipps, to Barnes, etc. It most especially comes out with Holly (and Kat Godwin before her, then Flo Bones as well) and it's very easy to read Lucy as reacting badly to her own attraction to women, her envy of them and her inability to let herself be attracted to them, because she's closed off so tightly.

But it's also her relationship with the Skull, who she constantly argues with and says she hates, she has nothing but poison for it in her thoughts, but as soon as it goes missing, she's desperate to get it back.

It's also in her relationship with George, who she constantly nettles and thinks mean thoughts about, but it's obvious that she cares about him deeply and has grown to love him as a friend, even if she can't necessarily admit that to herself.

Her entire dynamic with Holly is centered around how feminine Holly is, how pretty she is, how Lucy just cannot stop thinking about how Holly dresses, how she does her hair, how soft her skin looks, how her little hand motions are so delicate and proper. And, yeah, some of it is envy and feeling insecure, that other people will like Holly more than her, but it's also just so much attention on all the little details that it comes off as unrealized physical attraction.

And then suddenly, I'm looking at all of the relationships Lucy has with people, where almost all the people she likes and respects are ones she's nasty to. Which clicked into place for me when she went back to visit her home town and was miserable there, the poor relationship she had with her family suddenly making so much sense in the way she rejects people before they can reject her, that she's so terrified of being vulnerable that she schools her thoughts and actions and words into prickly meanness so that she doesn't get hurt when they don't want her.

Lockwood is the exception to this, because he's the one who took all her nastiness and kept being mostly kind to her, he allowed a certain amount of vulnerability to himself and Lucy slowly started to come around on him and thought nicer of him. Sure, part of it is that she has feelings for him and so her thoughts are kinder, but I think it goes hand in hand with the way Lockwood is the one that never really sniped back at her or egged her on in any way, he started to feel safe to her, he started to feel secure to her.

And then she breaks his trust! She sneaks into the locked room to find out about his history, in a moment of anger and frustration, she breaks the thing that he asked them not to poke into, and she knows he would have every right to be angry enough at her to kick her out! But he's nice to her about it! He says, no, it was time to tell you guys about it anyway. He's open and vulnerable about something that she desperately feared rejection over!

Which is of course why her feelings reach a certain point and she has to acknowledge them, she can't deny them anymore, so the slightest push (the ghost wearing Lockwood's face, saying that she would do this to him, get him killed) has her running off from the agency and going independent, because she's terrified that she'll get Lockwood killed/terrified of actually stepping across that line into having feelings that could really hurt her if she's not accepted.

She's complicated and messy and I love her, she's a great character with a great, dynamic arc--but it does require reading into some of the more problematic elements of the character and taking a more generous view of them, even when I know much of the real answer is that the author probably didn't see the problem with the way he would have her describe characters (especially anyone that was overweight) and you have to find the mental line you're willing to walk with that. But if you're okay with wincing through some of the earliest stuff, I think there's a really cool Hot Mess Lady character waiting on the other side.

[perpetuallyfive]

A million years ago back on livejournal, there was a yearly meme a few of us participated in where you'd look back at all your old fics and come up with a personal top ten. It was a nice way to reevaluate and look back at work you might have ignored for so long that you essentially forgot about it.

I don't write enough anymore to do this kind of thing yearly, but it's been a long time and I wanted to look back.

So here are my own top ten fics as of this minute in 2025 (in no particular order):

we never sleep, we never try RWBY, "Bar AU", Bumbleby

I'm the kind of person who loves the metaphor inherent to genre fiction, and I try to lean into that with my fanfic. I also love when I have the chance to make the end to my first chapter a bit of a surprise. This fic let me do both!

This fic is about using a trope as a means to explore identity and sense of self. It's also a total misdirect to call it "just an AU set in a bar" instead of what it actually is.

Which is wing fic, fallen angel style. This fic is about angels. There, I gave it away.

Her fingers pull at the sheets, her heels dig into the small of Yang’s back. One knee nearly collides with her jaw and they both laugh, real and raw, a little breathless and unsure. Even Blake, even she feels a loss of breath. She is not someone who should have to breathe, even now, even like this. Unless she is being made mortal, here and now. Is this what it takes to die? Is this pleasure why mortal lives are so brief? It’s too much, a heart could explode from a lifetime of such living. And still, she wants more.

Our Bruises Are Coming Fingersmith, Maud/Sue

I wanted to write a short post-canon fic that explores Maud's kinkiness and the associations she would have with those desires being so linked to her own trauma and abuse, and still hopefully make it hot.

Writing the alternating povs with their very distinctive character voices was extremely fun.

Sue doesn't know how wet her eyes can look when she's lost in her own wanting. She's like a doll at times, with eyes like glass and lips ever on the verge of parting. I watch her and think of words and clips of phrases I have seen etched thick and dark on pale pages or ones I have spoken aloud to a room of eager men. Their heavy breath would clog the air until the words all seemed slick and rounded at their edges. They nestled in the shell of my ear and there they stayed, only to return years later while my hand sits on the pulse in Sue's breast. It beats wildly and I think, eager bitch. I think wanton spreading of her thighs and incline of hips thrusting. I think blooming in purple like an angry red flower on her cheek and feel my own heart race to join hers. My head is filled with poison.

what a night to go dreaming Sleep No More

This is one of the most self-indulgent things I have ever written, and I'm so glad that I did. Inspired by am immersive theater show that the majority of humanity will never see, focused on two minor characters that the majority of the show's fans aren't that invested in, and told in a meandering and muddled style intended to replicate the experience of being lost at the show and the perpetual looping nightmare its characters are caught up in.

Sleep No More is like a half-remembered dream and the fifth floor woods and accompanying sanatorium — as well as all the women that would inhabit it over the years — were one of my very favorite things in my very favorite building for literally years of my life.

Now that it's closed little more than a month ago, I feel more fond of this selfish piece than ever. Re-reading it takes me right back there again.

There have been no wolves in these woods for many years. The last of them were hunted down and left scattered over the earth. They inspected the entrails and said it would be an early harvest. The women picked and pecked over every inch of flesh, squinting at the sky as though there might be rain. And then there was.

You Can't Become Unreal Again Pitch Perfect, Marvel AU Hurt/Comfort, Beca Stark/Chloe Barton

I think this fic gave me a reputation for being really mean to characters that lasted for some time. I love hurt/comfort, at least in theory, but it bothers me how often the slow process of clawing your way back to yourself after intense trauma gets skipped over in favor of the end game. For me, that misses the point. The pain alone isn't what appeals to me; it's the slow unsteady progress that comes after, and how impossibly human that feels. 

I wanted to try to capture that in a fic. This is one of those pieces that I'm so proud of but also can't help wondering how I would write it now, older and more experienced as a writer. Sometimes I think maybe I should try something like it again.

There are a lot of reasons the fire escape is a bad idea, but Beca hasn't got a key. So she settles for the pain -- burning up through her shoulders, aching in her wrist until she has to stifle a scream -- and collapses on the floor as soon as she's through the window. She lays there for a while, half-curled on her side, and tries to pinpoint the precise location of each throbbing ache. She might have tripped an alarm, but it's hard to concern herself with something like that when her entire back feels like it's fucking on fire. Worst case scenario: whoever S.H.I.E.L.D. sends over can help her stand again.

Bulletproof Use of Bullet Points Pitch Perfect, Aubrey POV, Beca/Chloe

My second most popular Pitch Perfect fic is Aubrey pov, which just got to be fun in a way that I almost never let myself write and should probably do more often.

Not that Beca has ever needed a reason to complain. She drags her heels walking over, and it's all Aubrey can do not to shout for her to straighten her back and stop making that face like she's sucking on a lemon. Is it really so hard to be nice? To smile? Aubrey smiles all the time, even when she hates people! She smiles at Beca, after all. (Does Beca have any idea how incredibly hard that is for her? No. Of course not. No thought probably ever crosses selfish Beca Mitchell's mind that isn't about downbeats or hipster bullshit.) "Okay then," Aubrey smiles (because she cares to), and pulls her ponytail just a little bit tighter. "Why don't you show me what you can do?"

when the night falls (loneliness calls) RWBY, Winter Schnee gen fic

Winter is one of my absolute favorite characters in RWBY and I wanted to write about her childhood so badly. She nails so many aspects of my favorite archetype, but without being entirely stereotypical.

Obviously the standard warnings would apply for parental abuse from Jacques Schnee, though it's not described in detail.

Her mother’s voice is right behind her, saying, “This one is special. This one is two things, actually, though it only looks like one.” Her hand is light on Winter’s shoulder. “It’s like you, isn’t it? More than what it seems.” “Can I touch it?” Winter doesn’t know what she’ll do if her mother says no. Her throat is so dry and her palms almost itch. Even the sword itself seems to vibrate with a desire to be touched, to be held, to belong. Maybe it is like her after all.

much sweeter than it ought to be RWBY, Dishonored AU, Bumbleby

This one is a sprawling beast, currently unfinished, but I'm including it because I still intend to return. I love this fic in all its messy self-indulgent glory. Committing myself to alternating POVs in every single chapter means some of the chapters are comically long; I know I'm not doing a great job to sell it.

But this is the longest thing I've ever written (by a lot) and surely that much commitment to it says something.

Blake has never dreamed of anything like this happening before. She’s never allowed herself to really consider or want this for herself, to want much of anything just for her in a way that’s entirely selfish. The entire realm will one day be hers, but none of it is meant for her and her alone, not really. It’s all for the Empire, isn’t it, and anything she claims for herself is something she’s going to have to let go of one day. After Adam and everything that she saw, daydreaming felt selfish, like the ambitions of a child. Instead she tried to focus on the future of the Empire. It was the mature response, wasn’t it, to set her own wants and ambitions aside. All of that cold and calm resolve just slips away so fast, pulled out with the momentum that Yang carries with her, like a swelling tide. Doesn’t Blake deserve to want something, if only for a little while?

Manuscripts and Mistakes Gilmore Girls, Post Miniseries, Rory/Paris

Despite loving this ship since the show first aired, I never actually wrote it until this attempt to make something out of the Rory we end up with after A Year in the Life.

This one has a major (pregnancy related) trigger warning, noted in the end notes.

Like the first day Paris saw Rory and knew this girl was going to ruin her life. She couldn't guess at the time, of course, the kind of impact the woman would have fully grown. Even then she wondered sometimes, occasionally -- lying in bed and dreaming of Tristan's strong hands and pouty lips -- about what Rory's chapstick would feel like on her mouth. Once they kissed (once only, briefly), she'd finally known. Rory tastes like raspberry and regret. Like the most trite poem in existence. Like expectations and hopes never met. Something more.

the smell of blood on concrete Arcane, Vampire/Werewolf AU, Caitlyn/Vi

I know this one isn't finished either; but I'm currently writing it, absolutely obsessed with this version of them, and I've been keeping to a consistent enough schedule that it feels genuinely less mean than the inclusion of Dishonored AU.

In a lot of ways this fic has been a convergence of several things I've loved for years all into one work.

Her eyes lock on bright blue — river blue — eyes on the other side, the faintest hint of a smile. “Look at me, Hound.” This time the name doesn’t make Vi bristle. “You’re going to be fine.” The beast inside is glad to be seen. Vi smiles, too many teeth. Everything starts to unspool. Her jaw shatters. Fragments of bone ripple and chip — digging into her flesh at odd angles — outsides reversed with insides. Vertebrae rapidly shift and clatter, like dominoes turned upside down, as she drops to all fours. The vibrating inside her head has turned into a loud keening song. She snarls and a new voice comes out, guttural and low. The pain is like anything else. It doesn’t come all at once. It blossoms, it shifts, it moves like the tide. Her claws dig into the fabric, ripping with a loud shriek of something given way. She pants and takes a running lunge at the bars, pounding into it with her full force. On the other side, she sees Caitlyn smile. “That’s it,” she says. “You’re beautiful.”

Self-Diagnoses for the Consistently Disengaged UnREAL, Rachel Goldberg gen with hints of Rachel/Quinn

I realize that UnREAL barely counts as a fandom and I deeply regret never finishing the actual Rachel/Quinn thing I started — though I genuinely think sometimes I want to circle back to it — but I still think this piece holds up really well as its own little thing.

It had been nice while it lasted. Not to be the crazy girl, the little weirdo, except in the ways she chose to be. She'd felt happy. She thinks so, at least. Not that it matters now. Happiness is like some foreign country she's mostly read about in books. Nice to visit, but who can afford the rent? The food even tasted weird. She's a stale beer and pizza kind of girl.

[tmntforeverinmyheart]

meet Turtle 1, an adorable spiky ball of energy. He’s only 3 and already has so much personality, he’s huge, like really huge for a toddler. He has started saying simple words but mostly makes chirps and when angry he screams, it’s always funny when that happens. He’s the only entertainment we really get down in the containment cells, but mum said that we’re going to go home soon. I’m not sure what home is, I always thought Dimension X was, not to mum tho, she’s always talked about going home. A place of comfort and freedom and no blood tests. It sounds nice but now I’m wondering if she’s just making it up for me, it sounds too unreal to be real, you know. But if it is real, I hope we’re able to take the turtles. They’re really fun, well I guess only 1 can actually do things, 2 is only now learning how to walk, and 3 & 4 are only a couple months old, so they mostly sleep or eat or cry. Theyre cute tho, like I could literally hold them in my hand, if I was allowed to. I’m not. The kraang are pretty strict on what we can or cannot do. And still 1 continues to escape and come see us, he’s great company and enjoys learning about ‘home’. And mum loves telling stories, she does sometimes get teary eyed tho, but 1 will provide comfort by curling next to mum and making a strange sound, it keeps him calm and it makes mum happy.

[teenage-mutant-ninja-freak]

Hello, how are you? I hope so, so if it's not too much trouble could you make the mob!boys find out that their daughter is a lesbian, like their daughter is very close to a friend they already know and they catch them kissing, I'm a lesbian and I really wanted to see their reactions, I'm in love with your writing.

I am also a lesbian and love this idea! Also thank you so much <3

Mob! Leo

Clueless

utterly clueless about the signs that his daughter is gay as fuck

until he walks in on a full on make-out session between his kid and her "best friend"

kind of just stands there in the door way, staring, mouth agape for a second or two

then it's "right....I'll let you get back to it"

there will be a conversation later, he's not thrilled because he had big plans for his kid and this isn't quite how he saw her life going but he's not upset/angry

just a little taken by surprise

"were you worried about telling me, is that why you kept it a secret"

she nods her head

"You know nothing would make me love you less, right?"

there's a hug and some tears from his kid that he wipes away as he holds her

he does, however, have some words to say about his daughter's choice in gf...

turns out the whole "no one is good enough for my babygirl" this extends to women too

at the end of the day, he just wants her happy with someone who treats her right

Mob! Raph

He also had no idea

when he walks in on her and her gf kissing he's stunned

immediately closes the door tho and walks away

he's actually happy she's a lesbian, although he did not see that coming at all

"hey, at least I don't have to worry about you getting knocked up, right?"

big dad hug after she's worried he'll be pissed

he isn't upset at all, loves her for who she is

"I have gay friends, you know. Why would you think I'd care? Besides, I like [insert gf's name here], she's a nice kid"

buys her a coming out present

100% goes to pride with her

no "dad hugs" t-shirt at pride tho, he does not want random strangers coming up to him for a cuddle

would totally wear a "proud of my gay kid!" t-shirt tho

sends her photos of every gay/rainbow thing he sees

Mob! Mikey

Doesn't know, doesn't care, it's not a big deal to him

there's not much to say on this one

Mob! Mikey is so fucking chill with the queers it's unreal

literally does not give a fuck, doesn't treat her different, doesn't need a conversation about it

when he walks in on his daughter kissing a girl he just asks what he went in to ask and leaves because 0 fucks given

like he would open the door, his daughter and her gf pull apart and freeze out of fear and he'd be like: "your mum wants to know if you want the chicken or the lasagne for dinner. Also if you don't pick lasagne I'm disowning you. Is your girlfriend staying to eat with us?"

that's it

so chill

Mob! Donnie

He knew, he knows everything

like from a young age he knew

it was the way she played with her dolls

(having the girl dolls sacrifice the boy dolls brutally and then they'd go out shopping and live together happily without a man as "the bestest friends")

he also doesn't care at all though

He would walk in, see, say "oh, sorry. I'll leave you to it" and walk off

but, being his kid, she knows how he is and would still want to talk about it

"What's there to say? You like women, congrats, so do I. Do you want a prize for it?"

1 one thing he isn't chill about is the lesbian breakup drama

he doesn't like it because, even though he will, he isn't the biggest fan of hurting or getting revenge on women and girls,

so it pisses him off when she get's her heart broken and he has to come up with a way for her to get even

is kind of invested in the drama though, secretly.

like, he learnt a whole bunch of terminology from his kid that he found cool about lesbians.

[finalgirlmoment]

PJOTV Ep 4 + 5 (spoilers)

My brain is, and has been, rotted entirely! I feel like the TV show is such a treat because the new content adds layers to the story SO MUCH like the plot and character dynamics it makes me want to scream. Yes the differences are absolutely notable but the bottom line is that our main trio would find each other in any universe or storyline and would choose each other every time

-The opening scene of episode 4 broke me a bit: the lore that Percy actually did not take naturally to being in the water, he was actually afraid to be swimming! I feel like before we definitely characterized him as someone who felt at home in the water since he came out the womb but damn look how far he comes. How jarring it must be to later find out you're actually the son of the sea god :o

-Percy continually being angry about the system of the gods (not) interacting with their children, being so shocked that a parent wouldn't help or talk to their child. He's so sweet and I feel like his rage grows the more he gets to know Annabeth because he sees how amazing and loyal and cunning she is and wonders how her mother could ever ignore or abandon her

-Annabeth just in general, her badassery is so fucking perfect for this character, the way she draws her knife, her being so fucking in tune with Percy already....the way she knows exactly what Percy is going to do before he does it ((and the way he listens to her unconditionally i.e. cutting off Medusa's invisible head in episode 3 but I digress)), knowing he was alive and waiting for them somewhere at the beginning of episode 5. she is a LEGEND and she is LOCKED TF IN

-the hug <3 i won't make it weird if you won't <3 <3 we're like friends now <3<3<3 do u understand how i hurt

-trio walking down the side of the road like bums -_- i died lmfao. also them hiding when approached by some dude and just being like <3 we good ty tho!!

-Percy, again still acclimating to this fucking weird ass world where gods are real and can kill u easily, is shook when ares threatens to kill them. luckily, as a change of pace, grover is cool as a dang cucumber and saves the day af. this is what i mean like absolutely the characters are so different like yes grover has been nervous a lot but he also can turn it tf on and smooth talk when he needs to

-Annabeth has never seen a movie. Percy immediately insists that they watch one together. Look me in the fucking eyes and tell me that's not a date? Hello?

-The entirety of the tunnel scene/chair scene. Percy being the one to figure out the story illustrated Hephaestus' life. Percy ALREADY working to save Annabeth first and foremost! Percy continually sacrificing himself for her! Believing deep down she is capable of great, impossible things and being willing to set aside his life for her without question. Telling her she is better. "You just are. And you know it." Giving her Riptide, no second thoughts, no backing down.

-ANNABETH CHASE ALREADY ASSUMING PERCY'S PROMISE WOULD BE ABOUT HIS MOTHER. HIM BEING ASSURED SHE WILL SAVE HIS MOTHER, NO HESITATION. HIM ASKING HER TO COME BACK FOR HIM. HER BEING SURPRISED THAT HE THOUGHT HE HAD TO ASK. (THE ENEMY PHASE WAS SO SHORT LIVED. THEY HAVE BARELY GOTTEN IN THE BACK OF A TRUCK TRANSPORTING LIVE ANIMALS TOGETHER. WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY WOULD TALK ABOUT IN THERE NOW. I'M fine don't worry about me).

-On that note, the ending. Percy is like a loose cannon full of a deep rage and a lot (A LOT) of unrealized power; his problem is that he is not locked TF in like Annabeth (as of right now) and the ending really made me excited because it feels like he is finally catching on to what a big deal he actually is. All this anger he has inside him, all this rage at what he has lost and the suffering he has seen, .... i'm honestly beside myself at what is to come because this is already SO JUICY and I feel like we've barely started!

-side notes: the score is so amazing, I'm really enjoying it and I understand all the videos of the actors promoting the soundtrack!!! also my sister has never read the books but she loves the movies and we watch it together; she is very very excited for the casino scene so there is definitely hope for her in the near future. ((my nico loving ass will also be holding binoculars and twitching))

so yes a lot was changed but i am really liking the new content a lot because it just feels like added lore and, again, these guys can best the odds in any universe and help each other in every timeline. the most important plot points are there and i feel like they have already set up a lot of info for later on down the line. I do wish there was a bit more banter/conversation (because Percy is actually so quirky and I feel like this could be explored more) but the time we do have is amazing and feels super fresh! even when i've read the books to pieces! and again the convos they're having right now are setting shit up for later and maybe then they can play and have fun wit it. as always, i will be loyally sat, lurking, reblogging. kiss

[aelinschild]

Colorado

Main Masterlist || Other One-shots

My apologies for getting this out so late in the day, and for how short it is. I spent over six hours writing essay's and I was not in the mood for more writing, alas, here we are.

SYNOPSIS: Inspired by Colorado by Reneé Rapp; Aelin's engagement is suffocating, maybe a trip away will help? WORDCOUNT: 3.3k WARNINGS: Swearing, domestic argument, innuendos, alcohol consumption

If Aelin had known the slamming front door was the beginning of the end, she would have left before her fiance walked in. 

The door crashed into the wall, making her jump from where she was standing before the sink, cleaning up the dinner dishes. The dinner, which had gone cold hours ago. The dinner, which had tasted like ash while she ate it alone. Like every other night this week. 

“Aelin? Where are you.” Sam’s voice ricocheted around the walls of their home. 

He’s always been loud, but at this moment his voice is grating. She can feel every muscle in her body, the way each is tensed up, ready to spring away. His heavy footsteps echo towards her. She can tell he didn't take his shoes off, and she's immediately more angry. 

Setting the bowl that she was just scrubbing gently into the soapy water, she mechanically turns to dry her hands off as Sam enters the kitchen. 

Sam, her fiance. Who was the light of her life, her highschool sweetheart. Ever since they began dating five years ago, they were told they made a beautiful couple. That they'd have gorgeous babies – which never failed to weird Aelin out – and that they were perfect for eachother. He was everything to her. He hung the moon and the stars when they were children. Spoiled her like a princess when they were teens. Romanced her like a proper gentleman as adults. He was the wise choice, and he was the choice she had made. 

Now, five years later – and two years into their engagement – Aelin was more than sure she’d been fucking lied to about ‘wise’ choices. 

“Good gods woman, did you not hear me calling you?” He demands, temper running already. 

“I did.” Aelin responded flatly, no need to respond emotionally, she thought to herself. 

He stared at her from the hallway, and she just continued to towel her hands off. 

“Dinner’s gone cold. But I made the roast your mother gave me the recipe for. I’m-” 

“Look at me when you speak to me, don't be disrespectful.” Sam interrupted. 

It was a tense moment before Aelin snapped.

“Disrespectful?” She barked out. “Disrespectful. Fucking unreal Sam.” 

“Watch it.” He snaps.

“Me? Are you being serious?” She had promised herself she wouldn't start a fight tonight, like every other night, but she couldn't help but rise to his challenge. “You come home late, for the fourth night this week, and youre already pissy? After I cook your fucking dinner? Not to mention stay home all day cleaning this godsdamned house!” 

He slams his hands down onto the table, making Aelin jump. “Do not raise your voice to me, Aelin!”

“Why?” She shouts back. “Does it make you feel like less of a man?” She shouldn't argue with him. Not because it's improper for a finacee to act like this, but because she honestly doesn't care for Sam’s pettiness. For any of this actually. 

Their engagement had been slowly draining of the joy it once was. Aelin would often imagine watching her future swirl down the drain of a sink. Possibilities and experiences forever gone, mixed in with ruddy water. 

He stood up to his full height. Taller than Aelin, yes, but not as intimidating as it used to be when she was younger. “This is fucking ridiculous.” He growled out, stalking closer. “You have no right to speak to me that way!”

Aelin stood stock-still. In retrospect, she would come to realise that this was the culminating moment. This was where all the years that she had silently suffered, gone along as Sam’s arm candy in hopes of the affection she so greatly craved, would peak. 

The tension in the room diffused, Sam’s chest still rose and fell abruptly with harsh breaths, contained words that were poised and ready. Venomous. 

But Aelin had rescinded. 

Turning her back to Sam and hanging the tea towel back on the oven door, she made her way out of the kitchen. As best as she could, she avoided his body. Looming in that doorway. Never again…

“Where do you think you're going?” She kept walking. The distance between them stretches with each step. “Aelin. Aelin! Answer me right now!” 

She felt him behind her, but he was nothing more than a ghost of her past. It is fascinating how quickly her feelings changed. Her rage upon his entry. The tidal wave of hurt, drowning her. And when it released her, there was no more. No more anything, especially feeling. 

Grabbing her corduroy jacket and shucking that on, then crouching down to slide her feet into her boots. Sam was still at her back, but he made no move to touch her. Good, she thought. Might rip his arm off if he did. 

Her mind was heavy, like wading through sand. If her fiance was speaking, she heard nothing. In her final moments in this house, she grabbed her worn leather purse – a gift from Sam actually – and moved to the door. 

If Sam’s yelling in the kitchen had been the crescendo of their tumultuous relationship, her hand on the doorknob were the final moments. The music of their bond falling, slowly, so slow…

Stepping out of the front door without so much as a goodbye, Aelin walked away. From her partner. From her home. From her life. And in the chilly evening air, with families cradled around each other, individuals enroute home. The seasons ever slowly changing, a door shutting punctuated the song of a relationship. 

I think my life might be better if I lived in colorado

-

The shuttle bus from Denver is cold and quiet. 

Similar to the red-eye plane she booked on a whim. Empty and cavernous. 

It'll be a little after two in the afternoon when Aelin arrives in Boulder, Colorado. Then from the shuttle station, there should be an Uber ready to take her to her hotel room. Where she’ll stay for three nights. There's no family of hers to speak of in Colorado, but it feels liberating to be here. 

Nothing to weigh her down, nothing to do, no one she has to be. 

From the time the door shut to Sam’s house, she had booked the cheapest flight to Denver. Then she was on call with an online teller to organise a one-way ticket for the shuttle. Next up was a hotel room, the cheapest one possible. 

And just like that she had wiped her hands of her fiance. 

The bus creaks under her, disturbing the gentle humming noise of the wheels on pavement. Aelin’s head is resting on the window, and she watches the scenery dart past. It is beautiful here. A myriad of colours attract her eyes to different points. 

Seated at the back of the bus, dressed in the clothes she left her–Sam’s house nearly a day ago, she feels at peace. She hadn't spent much time ruminating on her now broken off engagement. She doesn't even wonder if Sam has. 

Sam and the chip on his shoulder. 

If anything, she’s hopeful. Not exactly excited, but… ready. 

Liberated

-

The bell above the liquor store door dings. A nice and friendly chime. Similar to the people of Boulder, as she had found. 

Nodding to the cashier, an elderly man who looks up at the sound of the door, she wanders over to the wine section. Running her finger along the glass casing until she finds the Chardonnay. Eleven dollars. A memory pops up, unbidden; Sam and her sharing a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. He didn't like the dryness of the Chardonnay, though he most likely would have been able to tell the difference if it was before him.

But Chardonnay was Aelin’s favourite, and hundreds of kilometres away from where she was yesterday, she felt like it was time to grasp onto those favourites.

A slow hum makes its way out as Aelin grabs her bottle and wanders over to the ragister. Quickly paying with a twenty dollar bill, she leaves the excess in the tip jar. Her silent happiness overflowing, she feels that it's right to give a little. The elderly man looks up, crows feet near his eyes wrinkling up, and smile beaming. It fills her heart a little more. 

Leaving the store with a bottle of wine, Aelin walks through the city. Bustling with college kids and families. She walks with no direction in mind. It doesn't take long before her thoughts round back to Sam, but it's not anger or sadness. It's not really anything. It doesn't matter, and that is what should be most worrying. This feeling–it's worrisome only in that it means the relationship was over before she left. 

Leaves cascade slowly down, twirling and dancing in the wind as Aelin walks. Eventually spotting a park bench near an artificial lake. It's a little ways off the path, giving her more privacy for her musing. 

Once situated on the slightly wet bench, she pulls her phone from her purse. 31 missed calls, 145 new messages. All from Sam. 

Without a moment of hesitation, she stands up, walks to the edge of the lake, and tosses her phone in. It makes a plunk noise before sinking. 

Wandering back to the bench, she twists the top off the Chardonnay and takes a large swig. 

- 

I think my life might be better if I lived in colorado

Sit around and get high, sippin' some white wine out the bottle

I throw my phone into a lake

And watch it sink to a better place, down at the bottom

I think my life might be better if I lived in Colorado

-

Out of pure boredom that evening, Aelin makes another trek through the city. It's exceptionally walkable, and she finds the nightlife is teeming. Walking past flashing lights with vibrant hues of purples and blues. Right next to the cacophony of colour is a dive bar. The yellowed walls and cosy lighting is much more comforting than the reckless abandon of colour currently, and Aelin moves herself in that direction. 

Inside the bar is warm, homely. With a random array of stools and chairs decorated in varying muted colour, and once wooden linoleum floors scratched down by scuff marks. Nobody pays her any mind and she walks over to the wrap-around bar, still a little light on her feet from the entire bottle of Chardonnay. There's a low hum of chatter, punctuated by a gruff laugh or shrill chatter every now and then, and Aelin seats herself at the bar. 

There's no reason for being here really. The atmosphere is comforting, like warm laundry fresh out of the dryer. And so she stays. She orders a frilly cocktail because why not, and just sits. 

While tracing the wood grain of the counter, Aelin misses the woman sizing her up from another table. The woman looks at Aelin, and slowly, elegantly, makes her way over to the bar. 

A screech of a stool pulls Aelin out of her reverie. Her hands snap to the edge of the counter, bracing. And her head jerks towards the noise.

Seated next to her is a stunning woman, if she could be limited by that word. Glossy dark hair, with glowing skin. Emerald eyes trace Aelin’s own features. Alien catalogues the diamond choker around the woman's neck. It looks like an expensive collar. 

“So, you gonna introduce yourself?” The woman drawls, her voice as luxurious as her. 

“I'm sorry?”

“No need,” And she smiles and the rhetorical. “So, tell me your name. And what you're doing in a place like this.” 

Aelin is slightly baffled at the woman's forwardness, but embraces it because why not.

“Aelin. My name’s Aelin.”

“Rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it Aelin.” She winks at her. “Well, I'm Lysandra. And it is my absolute pleasure to make your acquaintance.” 

Aelin’s drink is dropped off between the two women, and Lysandra and her both back up from where they had leaned into the conversation. The drink is a blue so deep Aelin wonders if she should get her blood tested afterwards. 

“Now, Aelin, do tell me what was making you look so sad up over here.” Lysandra asks after cataloguing her drink. She must also notice Aelin’s bafflement at the obscure colour of the beverage and laughs, like tinkling bells. “Don't worry about the colour, I've drank myself under the table with those and was still able to make my pilates class the next morning.” 

Aelin laughs with her and takes a sip, her face pinching at the bitterness before returning Lysandra’s question. “Running away from problems–well, it's not really a problem anymore. I guess the running worked?” Her eyebrows cinch up, eyes darting around. Is it a problem anymore? Should I be telling a stranger about my estranged fiance?

“Ah, I knew you would be interesting.” Lysandra nods to herself, resituating herself on her stool as iff she's readying herself to talk, or maybe interrogate. 

“Interesting?” 

“Yeah. you looked all pensive and sad, and you’re obviously very gorgeous, so I knew something was up, yknow?”

“Pensive. Nice” 

“Moody?” 

“I'll stick with pensive,” Aelin laughs A real, true laugh.

Lysandra smiles.

“Do you often come up to pensive girls and ask about them?” Taking a sip of the toxic blue drink, and turning more fully towards the other woman. 

“Kindred spirits.” She answers. 

“Oh? Do tell.”

“What is there to say, I'm divorced, rich, and absolutely wonderful.” She waves her hand dramatically in the air for emphasis. Aelin snorts.

“Don't mock me,” She gasps, eyes lighting with fake ire. 

“Please, I’m newly single, or whatever you become after running from your fiance,” Aelin rolls her eyes. 

“Ah, church bells were a no-go then? I've always found those things exceptionally irritating. Threw a fit when I found out I was to be married in a church.” 

“‘To be married’? What kind of situation was this exactly?” Leaning forward on her elbows, closer to Lysandra, Aelin eyes the woman. 

With a shrug of her delicate shoulders, Lysanra answers. “Silly little arrangement, for a silly little man who couldn't woo a worm if he tried.” She scoffs, “Got out of that fast, and got some fun trinkets to repair my obviously damaged emotional state.” 

“Might as well,” murmurs Aelin. 

-

'Cause maybe there I'd like myself

And meet some young ex-wife

We'd start a brand new life

And never be lonely

-

Many drinks later, Aelin and Lysandra are leaning up against the battered karaoke machine, swaying but trying their best to belt out lyrics to every Taylor Swift song that comes up. Both women are infected with giggles, and  they find joy in each other's presence. Kindred spirits, Lysandra had said. Kindred spirits indeed. 

Both of the women continue their performance, and by now the entire bar is in on it. Older couples laughing and clapping at the joy of the two women. Chairs are pushed aside, stools stacked elsewhere. And people dance. Freely and joyfully, to the butchered songs. But the dive is so warm, it surrounds Aelin’s heart in a protective case, and Sam, all the hurt, the pain of the lonely nights spent waiting. The arguments. The frustration–it floats away. 

As the song comes to an end, both Lysandra and Aelin lean on each other for support as their laughter has them doubling over. And they make their way away from the wretched machine to go sit. Aelin can feel her smile stretching so wide. She feels elation spilling from every pore. Lysandra was at her heels, but without realising, she drifted over to another group to quickly chat, Aelin continued to walk towards a table. 

In her haze of joy, she doesn't hear the door open, or masculine voices laughing at some joke. 

She turns to tell Lysandra something funny that just came to her mind, and when she realises she is not there, she abruptly stops. 

One moment, Aelin’s standing wondering where the hell Lysandra went, then next she's falling to the ground. She watches in slow motion as the floor appears, closer and closer, before she feels a tight grip snake around her and right her body. 

Her current drink sploshes onto the floor from the change in position, then onto her saviours shirt when she is righted. When she finally is standing again, she has found herself staring at what must be someone's chest. Someone's chest, decorated with a white button up, that now has artfully displayed splashes of toxic blue. 

Her head jerks up, and up, before she settles on the man's face, which is set in distress. 

His hair is what catches her attention first. In her slightly-over-tipsy haze, she thinks his hair must be silver. Not an aged silver, but a fairytale silver. Then it's his strong jaw, with a light stubble that had grown over the day. Next are his emerald eyes. Like Lys, but lighter, also fairytale-esque. Then it's his beautifully groomed eyebrows, strong nose, the full lips that are moving so sensually. Moving, moving…

“Are you alright?” Handsome stranger asks.

“Yeah,” Aelin sighs out, still tracing his face, down his jaw, to the column of his throat where a tattoo peaks out. 

“Here,” He says, but Aelin’s truly not paying attention. Maybe she had more to drink than she thought. She snorts. “... How about you go sit over here, yeah?”

She allows handsome stranger man to guide her to a chair, and when he helps her into the seat, lest she fall off, she catches Lysandra's eye from across the bar. She winks at Aelin. 

It is in that moment that Aelin blinks back into reality. 

“Ohmygosh! Your shirt!” Panicked, she realises the crisp white dress shirt is stained with her blue drink. Reaching around him for a napkin off the table, she starts rubbing all over his stomach to try and get the stain out. It's not working, and she just presses harder into his tense abdomen. 

“Hey, wait. Stop…” He grabs hold of her writs, effectively pausing her smearing of the blue liquid all over his abs. “I really dont think that's helping.” He smirks. 

“Oh my gods, I am genuinely so sorry. I'm really not that clumsy, oh I cant believe ive ruined your shirt!” 

“Its okay, don't wor-” She interrupts him. 

“No! Seriously, I'm so sorry, please let me buy you a new one, or dry clean it, or whatever!”

He just laughs. His lips formed a gentle smile. “How about your name for starters?” 

“Im Aelin, and I will find the best dry-” She gets interrupted by him this time. 

“How about a date, Aelin?”

She's still in shock. This was not where she thought this was going. This poor man's shirt. “A date?” She squeaks out. 

He nods. “Yeah. A date. You're beautiful, and this was kindof funny, so you can repay me with a date, if you are interested?”

Aelin stares at the beautiful man, with silvery hair and emerald eyes. Tattoos creeping like ivy. 

“Your name?” She requests. “What is your name?”

“Rowan.”

“It’s a date, then, Rowan.” 

-

And I'll admit, it would be nice

To meet some guy who's not my type

And move to Boulder

- 

Dear Sam, 

I used to think that I wanted to live up to your unrealistic expectations. I thought I could get used to being your pretty trophy wife, who would wait at your beck and call. But I can't. Over my trip, it has become painfully evident to me that we were not meant to be. I've met myself here, and I can't go back to what it has been. I wish you good luck in finding someone who will put up with you. 

No longer yours, 

Aelin 

-

'Cause maybe there I'd like myself

Work on my mental health

Might even feel compelled

To finally let go

I think my life might be better if I lived in Colorado

Thank you so much for reading!! As always; like, reblogs, and comments are so incredibly appreciated! Have an amazing day!

Inspired by the Song Colorado by Renee Rapp

[lifeofamanhwareader]

Tw: nightmares, hitting a child, anger issues, mommy issues, flashbacks, venting and old memories

I remember very vividly that one day when I was around 10 or so I was arguing with my mother about not wanting to shower. Little me doesn't know this, but it was because I was overstimulated at the time. So the argument got extremely heated (with my mother having anger issues and all) and at some point due to my emotional state and my immature mind, I screamed "I hate you" directly into my mom's face. Then, knowing that she must be super angry with me, I ran into the bathroom and lock the door. I was extremely overwhelmed and emotional so I sat there on the floor and cried. I was stupid and didn't remember that the bathroom has a key locker in front of it. So my mother immediately unlocked the door, grabbed me, and slapped me directly on the face. I fell down and also scrap my knees, I was sobbing uncontrollably, and ran to my room upstairs and locked the door. Knowing my mother lost the key to my room years ago. I was crying and screaming into my pillow and didn't come out until the next day, I didn't talk to her for like a week after that. She tried to explain herself but I wasn't having it. I was super mad. She tries to apologize to me but I just ignored her. So she took away my books (my only sense of comfort at the time) sat me down and apologized to me. It felt unreal, So much so that the feeling that the apology gave me made me forgive her immediately. I was happy she was finally admitting her own mistakes for once and not blaming it on literally anything else. I was so happy that looking back, that felt fake. She doesn't really regret anything that happened. In fact, I don't think she remembered this incident at all. All she remembers is being the best mother a child could ask for. And for a while I believed it. Until I started getting into phycology. Where I learned about the signs of trauma and such (because it was really fun at the time) and recognised myself in those words. I denied it for a while, a long long time. But there's no doubt that slapped has traumatized my little child self. So much so that even now, when I'm older and know for sure that I can fight back and that she doesn't dare to hurt me at all, I still get violent flashbacks of someone (mostly a faceless woman) slapping me, mostly because my mind couldn't justify my very own mother hurting me. Mostly in nightmares in particularly emotional days. I was a child and I was scared. Now I have to physically stop myself from flinching every time someone yells. And I don't know how to feel about it. My life feels like a lie that my brain made up to make myself more interesting. I really only remember a selection of things from my childhood. And I don't feel like I'm actually a real person sometimes. I feel like a story. A doll. And I hate it.