#shane walsh angst

[bambieyedoll]

⊹ ⋆ ꒰ఎﾟMOODBOARD ໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ⊹

shane walsh x farmer’s daughter!reader

“c’mon, baby” shane kissed your neck softly while wrapping his arms around you in a back hug. “i didn’t mean to scream and scare you, you know that” his rough voice whispered in your ear while he pressed his chest against your back and you knew you wouldn’t be able to keep your angry facade much longer. turning around, you looked up at him with your pretty doe eyes and he wasted no time in holding you by your waist, keeping you close to him. “i’ll make it up to you, doll” his hands descended to your ass, gripping strongly and in that moment you already forgave him.

[vilentia]

Edge of Sanity

Shane Walsh x reader

Summary: As the world crumbled, Shane Walsh, once strong, now teetered on the edge.

Author's Note: He never had an affair with Lori in this little story.

****

The sun dipped low over Hershel's farm, casting long shadows across the serene landscape. Shane couldn't help but feel a growing unease as he watched the horizon. He had been feeling it for weeks now, the pressure of their world closing in on him, driving him to the brink.

You, his wife, noticed the change in him more than anyone else. The once-steadfast, tough-as-nails Shane was slipping away before your eyes. He had become more erratic, more paranoid, and it was tearing him apart.

One evening, as you sat together on the porch, Shane's eyes darted to the darkening woods. He whispered, almost to himself, "They're out there, y'know," his fingers clutching the grip of his gun.

"Shane, we're safe here," you reassured him, reaching out to touch his trembling hand. "Hershel's farm is secure. We're together, and that's what matters."

But Shane couldn't shake the fear that gnawed at him day and night. He patrolled the perimeter of the farm obsessively, his once-calm demeanor now replaced with a hair-trigger temper. He snapped at the others in the group, often escalating minor disputes into shouting matches. His comrades were growing wary of him, but you remained steadfast.

One evening, tensions reached a boiling point. Rick, the group's de facto leader, confronted Shane about his increasingly erratic behavior. Their argument was explosive, echoing through the quiet farmstead. Shane accused Rick of weakness, of putting everyone at risk by clinging to a sense of morality that had no place in this new world. The confrontation turned physical, fists flying as their friendship shattered.

You couldn't stand to watch the two men you loved tearing each other apart. You stepped between them, pleading for them to stop. It was then that Shane's madness was laid bare for all to see. His eyes, once filled with determination, were now clouded by a dangerous intensity. He was losing himself, and it was tearing your world apart.

One night, you took his hand and led him away from the group, away from prying eyes. Under the moonlight, you looked into his troubled eyes and said, "Shane, you're scaring me. This isn't you. We've been through so much, and I can't bear to see you like this."

Tears welled in his eyes as he finally let his guard down. "I'm scared," he confessed, his voice cracking. "Scared of losing you in this mess, in this world. I can't lose you, baby. You're the only thing that's keeping me sane."

You held him close, feeling the weight of his fears and insecurities. "I'm right here, Shane. I'm not going anywhere. We'll face this world together, just like we always have."

With those words, a flicker of hope returned to Shane's eyes. He leaned in and kissed you, a desperate, passionate kiss that spoke of all the love and longing he had been keeping bottled up. In that moment, you both found solace in each other's arms, holding onto the fragile thread of humanity that bound you together.

As the stars shimmered above, Shane whispered, "I love you. Don't ever forget that."

With your arms wrapped around him, you replied, "I love you too, Shane. We'll get through this. Together."

[grimesgirll]

“good fucking girl.”

is definitely not something rick should be saying to his best friend’s girlfriend - especially not with his cock halfway down her throat.

the moment shane had stepped out for a run with glenn and michonne, you and rick were all over each other. you couldn’t handle sneaking into rick’s bed down the hall anymore. you were bound to end up in his lap on the sectional, pawing at him like a bitch in heat.

it’s not that shane didn’t fuck you; he took every chance he got. you’re just enamored with rick. ever since your boyfriend had “shared” you with his fellow officer, rick had been on your mind.

the way his brown constable’s jacket fit against his muscles when they flexed. the glint of his chocolate curls. how good he is with judith.

rick gets you goin’ in a way shane hasn’t for quite some time. he was right when he got you down on your knees back at the rest stop. you did look at rick like you wanted to drain him and then have him bend you over and fuck you silly - and that’s what ended up happening.

ever since that day, shane got off on toying with you and having you sit on rick’s cock in addition to his own. he uttered excuses about the stresses of their new duties as constable but you just slid down your denim skort and squealed the occasion away.

you’re quiet now, nice and muffled on rick’s dick as you swallow around him. the motion has him twitching in your mouth. wanting to finish off inside of you for the night, the thick length in your mouth is withdrawing and suddenly you’re in that familiar face down position again.

“so wet, baby,” rick remarks in awe as his length brushes your slippery entrance.

you’re squeezing your thighs together - trapping him between the pillowy soft surfaces. “rick,” you cry. “c’mon, already.”

“what’d we say?”

you swallow, a tear from how needy you are sliding down your cheek. “please, sir.”

you could care less if shane walked in right now. as long as rick keeps driving his hips into yours and breathing your name like a prayer, you’ll be content. content to get fucked silly by the man before he takes you in his arms and spends the night with a hand on your waist and his nose buried in your hair.

that’s after though.

now, you’re being nearly fucked up the couch.

rick’s just enjoying the way your sweet little cunt grips him like it needs him. the little thing sucks him in even better than your mouth.

and you’re a whole other story. sweat sticking to your glistening forehead, you’re babbling incoherent thoughts, strung out on the cock molding you to his shape.

your slick is pooling around rick like he’s in the fucking atlantic. so close to losing it all over him already, you’re making an absolute mess of the couch that you’ll have to resolve before shane gets home. don’t want him suffering from any fear of missing out.

the man is swept from your mind when rick absolutely crams his cock inside of your clinging cunt. the kiss to your cervix is enough for you to start seeing spots around the older man making you take his cock so well.

every time you park your pussy on rick’s thick dick and come, you ground down, grasp his hand, do anything to get as close as possible. feeling him to skin to skin is second only to feeling him fill you up. the filthy praises coming from his lips come close as well.

“fuck, baby, so nice and tight. you want me to come inside you, huh? have shane come home to this pussy all messy?”

you’re shaking your head like you have any idea what you’re asking for. “yes, rick! i want you to make a mess of my pussy.”

“then come all over this cock, honey.”

“mhmm, rick, i-,”

“that’s it.”

“i love how deep you are, rick-,” you’re bumbling like an idiot and muttering a string of “i love you”s as the dam bursts and you come undone on rick’s cock.

the pulsing warmth beneath you is accompanied by a husky, “i love you too,” and a chorus of your name into your shoulder as rick used his horsecock to fuck you two through your climaxes.

the friction on your clit heightens the heat surrounding you and flooding into you from rick. you’re almost overwhelmed by the bruising kisses rick purples onto your neck as he gathers you on top of him.

“you did so good, honey,” he’s praising you and you’re just nodding, humming, “thank you”s and “i know”s until he’s bear hugging you again. the way he nuzzles into your neck from behind and exhales into your hair is enough for you to forget trudging up to bed and drift off into rick’s touch right there.

you’re already asleep in his arms but he takes the time to stroke your hair and kiss up and down your temples. god, he loves getting this time with you to himself - even if you’re asleep.

with you pressed against him and your heartbeat thrumming, the world is still and rick realizes something - he’s never letting you go.

[virginsexgod69]

Masterlist ☆

TWD

★ Daryl Dixon

♱ 18+ Laundry Day - Daryl Dixon x f!Reader smut

summary A laundry mishap leads to dreams coming true

♱ 18+ Oasis - Daryl Dixon x f!Reader smut (requested)

summary Daryl makes you squirt for the first time

♱ 18+ V-Card - Daryl Dixon x virgin!fem!Reader smut (requested)

summary After relentlessly teasing him, Daryl finally takes your virginity

♱ 18+ Inked - Daryl Dixon x F!Reader smut (requested)

summary you and Daryl give each other matching tattoos after finding an abandoned tattoo shop

Dance with Me - Daryl Dixon x F! Reader

summary Daryl makes up for everything he wasn't able to do for you on prom night

Marry Me - Daryl Dixon x F! Reader (requested)

summary After tracking and killing a deer on your own for the first time, Daryl proposes to you.

★ Rick Grimes

♱ 18+ Here for You - Rick Grimes x f!Reader smut + angst

summary After Lori's death, you're there to comfort Rick in any way he needs. Set in season 3 in the prison after Lori's death

1.5k words

♱ 18+ Special - Rick Grimes x Reader smut (requested)

summary You give Rick a very special day.

1.3k words

♱ 18+ Sweetheart - Rick Grimes x f!Reader (requested)

summary 2 months after Lori's death, you and Rick start hooking up, but that comes to a stop when he calls you the wrong name. He does everything he can to be yours again.

4.7k words

★ Rick Grimes and Shane Walsh

♱ 18+ Bribery - Shane Walsh and Rick Grimes x f!Reader smut

summary Rick and Shane catch you stealing and you do what it takes to convince them not to arrest you.

2.8k words

★ Shane Walsh

♱ Taking Care - Shane Walsh x f!Reader (requested)

summary Instead of robbing you, Shane decides to bring you back to the prison to take care of Judith but you end up taking care of him too.

2.5k words

★ Negan

♱ 18+ Video Star - Negan x f!Reader

summary You and Negan make a sex tape

1.5k words

★ Series

♱ 18+ Yes, Professor Grimes -A college/ university AU featuring Professors Grimes and Dixon and Coach Negan

♱ 18+ Seclusion - Daryl Dixon x f!Reader series eventual smut + eventual romance + fluff + angst + hurt/comfort

summary Alone in the forest and separated from his group, Daryl comes across your cabin. To make up for accidentally shooting him, you take him in and patch him up. He sticks around to help you out after a storm does massive damage to your cabin.

TL;DR Just you and Daryl in a secluded cabin in the middle of nowhere. 

★★★

CM

♱ 18+ You're Under Arrest - Spencer Reid x f!Reader smut

1.4k words

summary Derek hires a stripper for Spencer's birthday party as a joke, but Spencer surprisingly ends up enjoying it.

Interested in joining the taglist? Fill out this form!

💬 Requests are open!!

!! If you want to make a request for twd, I JUST STARTED SEASON 9 WOOOO!!! however, I can't write for anything past that :,(

[darlingshane]

Todo Tuyo (All Yours)

Pairing: Criminal!Shane Walsh x Spanish!Pregnant!Reader

Summary: Some bonds are unable to explain, and yours with Shane has always been a mystery. No matter how many times he's hurt you, you always ended up taking back his sorry ass. This time, after three years gone, when he comes back, you're married and pregnant. And not even that can challenge that bond.

Content/Warnings: 18+, Explicit, Heavy Angst, Smut, Pregnancy Kink, Breeding Kink, Oral Sex (f. receiving), Vaginal Sex, Complicated Relationships, DV, Abuse, Mention of drugs and violence, bittersweet ending.

Word Count: 10.9k

— Read below or at AO3.

A/N: A few important things you should know before reading since I couldn't sum it all up:

— The DV and Abuse warnings don't apply to Shane. — Reader's husband is the abuser. — This is kind of a Dark!Shane version, but he's soft for reader, I promise! — I wrote this as a Spanish!Speaking Reader. — Shane is fluent in Spanish. He learned for her. — I tried to keep Spanish down to a few sentences only, but I translated them all in (bold, italic parenthesis like this). — I won't be translating however all the pet names, just when I need to. But for reference – Shane calls reader 'Corazón' (it means heart, it's the equivalent of Sweetheart) and Reader calls Shane 'Cielo' (it means sky, and it's just like Sweetheart or Honey.)

“What the hell are you doing here?”

You only cracked the door as far as the chain on the lock let you. Through it, you could only see half of your ex-boyfriend's face shadowed under a worn-out baseball cap from Jim’s Body Shop. A handful of curls stuck out on the sides. His chin had a nice shadow from a three-day stubble, and the bags below his eyes gave away that he had been up for longer than he should have. He was still the hottest motherfucker you’ve ever laid your eyes on. No matter how much time had passed since the last time you saw him, Shane Walsh aged just like wine and all you wanted to do is pour yourself a cup of that.

That’s how strong was his hold on you.

You didn't have to be a genius to see that he wanted something from you. That was his MO, he only showed up when he was in trouble and had no one to turn to but poor old sucker you, who never had the guts to kick him to the curb.

“I need a place to stay for a couple of nights,” he said under a breath.

“Things have changed. You can’t stay here this time.”

“Look, I know it's been a while but–”

“A while?” you scoffed. “It's been three years, Shane.”

“I know that. But I don't really have anywhere else to go right now. I drove all the way from Wyoming just to see you. One night. That’s all I'm asking, Corazón. I won't get in your hair. I promise.”

You hated saying no to him, even after all this time. Even after all the times he's let you down, you couldn’t stand seeing him hurt with nowhere to go, but this time there was nothing you could do to help him. Except…

“I could get you a room at The Sennott for half off. If you need money…”

“No, keep your money. I'll work something out. Could I…”

“What?”

“Before I go, you think I could have a cup of coffee with you?”

You shook your head as his face leaned closer to the door frame.

“C'mon, baby, just one for old times,” his plush lips barely mumbled.

You caught a glimpse of those big, sad puppy eyes of his he pulled off so well. Whether it was genuine, it didn’t matter. The fact is that it worked like a charm and against your better judgment, you sighted, unlatched the chain and welcomed him into your home.

After all that time gone, you still had a soft stop from him, and you doubt that’ll ever change. Alas, he’d always be the man you’ve loved the most. That sucks for you and for him. Cause he has a tendency to disappear on you when you most need him, and after the last time, you decided that you wouldn't be waiting for him anymore.

“Wow, you’re pregnant,” taking off his cap, his eyes grew wide when he stepped inside the house.

“No me digas.” (You don’t say.)

It was hard to miss. You were seven months along already and couldn’t even believe it happened so fast.

Your palm drew the curve of your rounded belly over the t-shirt you were wearing. The hem barely touched the top of your thighs, and that’s where he looked next.

“You always had beautiful legs, Corazón,” he smirked, placing the backpack he was carrying on a chair.

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” you turned around and thought about all those times your thighs were wrapped around his head while he ate your pussy.

“It never did,” Shane scoffed, fixing his messed up curls.

You picked up the carafe from the machine, filled a mug with coffee without even bothering with heating it up.

“Five minutes. He’ll be here soon,” you said firmly, handing over the mug.

“I’ve always liked it cold anyway,” he lifted the cup up to his lips as you leaned on the counter. “You’re not having any?”

“It’s not good for the baby.”

“Oh, right.”

“What have you been up to, anyway?”

“Do you really wanna know?”

“Not really,” you crossed your arms and paused. “I guess I thought I deserved to know why you didn’t come back when you said you would. I saw Rick a few months ago and said he hadn’t heard of you in a while… led me to believe you were dead.”

“Shit happens.”

“Shit happens? Me lo merezco por preguntar,” you couldn’t hide the frustration in your tone. (I deserve that for asking.)

“I thought you’d be over me.”

“I am.”

“Ain't seem like it.”

“Mira, cabrón,” you showed him the ring around your finger, and pointed once more at your pregnant stomach. “I’m completely over you.” (Look, bastard.)

“That doesn’t prove shit. Looks like you wanted to one-up me, and move on as fast as possible so next time I’d show up, you’d have an excuse to throw me away.”

“Yeah, maybe. Doesn’t mean that I’m not over you.”

“You were always a terrible liar, you know that? Do you even love the poor sucker?”

“Why do you care?”

“Cause we both know, that no matter how much you hate me, you’d never love anyone as you love me.”

“That’s bullshit, Shane.”

“Sabes que es verdad, Corazón. You also know that no man would ever care for you like I do.” (You know that’s true, sweetheart.)

“If that were true, you wouldn’t be leaving every five minutes. You think you can just come here like nothing happened?”

“It's worked before.”

“It’s too late now.”

“Is it?”

He took one more sip from his coffee before placing the mug on the breakfast bar and going around it to have you closer.

As your stare fell to the floor, he noticed the bruise on your temple.

“Hey, what happened here?” he lifted his hand to your face and gently touched it.

“Nothing,” you swatted his hand away, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I hit my head with the cabinet last night.”

“Did he hit you?” His brow knitted.

“I told you. It was the cabinet.”

“Hey, mírame,” he placed a finger under your chin, and tilted up to capture your watery eyes. “Dime la verdad. ¿Te ha puesto la mano encima?” (Hey, Look at me. // Tell me the truth. Did he lay his hand on you?)

“Tienes que irte.” (You gotta go.)

“¿De qué tienes miedo, Corazón?” (What are you afraid of, Sweetheart?)

“No tengo miedo de nada… You just can’t be here when he comes back.” (I’m not afraid of anything…)

“Alright, I’ll go if that’s what you want, but I need to do something first,” he lifted his hand up to your face and framed your chin.

“Shane… don’t…”

“Sh, sh, it’s okay,” he said under a breath, placing his thumb gently on your lips.

“Please,” You weakly pleaded, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to stop what was about to happen.

His tongue swiped across his lips, and the next second they were gently pressed against yours.

Your eyes welled up and quickly shed a few tears upon that first initial contact. It didn’t take much to get you under his spell once more, for the umpteenth time. No matter how many times you’ve tried to convince yourself how fucking toxic he is, you fell for it every damn time like an idiot. It didn’t matter that you were married either, as bad as it sounds, what you and Shane had was something that couldn’t be stopped by any means. Only death could put an end to it. It didn’t help either that you weren’t on the best of terms with your husband either, so guilt went out the door the moment you let Shane in.

Unable to pull away, you let him deepen the kiss and invade your mouth with his tongue. He went slow and tender. That’s how it always started, he’d play on your good side, and once your defenses were down he’d go in full swing. He’d breathe in your air, soak in the taste of your mouth, take all the space until you were left breathless.

You linked your arms around his neck, and kissed him back, following the sweet undoing of his familiar lips as they fused tightly with yours.

When he tried to press himself closer to your body, your pregnant belly got on the way.

One of his palms tenderly landed on top of your stomach and drew the big curve that was keeping him away from you. Your heart fluttered as the small gesture.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are like this?” he broke the kiss, and looked down at his hand, while your head responded with a faint shake. “Eres preciosa, mi vida. I’d’ve put a baby in you before if that’s what you wanted.” (You’re gorgeous, my life.)

“I know, that’s why I never asked,” you placed your palm on top of his roughed-up knuckles. “Have you beaten up someone?”

“Something like that.”

“You’ll never change. Will you?”

“I could if you ask me.”

“You are who you are, Cielo. I can’t ask you that, and you can’t change for me.”

“Cielo. I missed that,” his face beamed, framing your tummy with both hands and dipped to kiss your forehead.

“One more for the road?” You held his face, and it was you this time the one capturing his mouth.

You kissed him as if this was the last time you’d ever see him. You needed something to hold onto. It was so fucking naive of you that he’d ever change or settle. He had another mistress, one that had no lips or body or soul that led him to the darkest of paths far away from yours. It was impossible to compete with that. Until he was ready to let that life go, there’ll be no future between the two of you.

Maybe one day, you kept hoping as you basked in the swirl of his tongue. He was so fucking needy and hungry for you, it became desperate. He panted in your mouth, had trouble catching his breath cause all he wanted to do is swallow you all.

His hands moved to your ass, gripped hard at your flesh. You wish you had the power to stop all that at once. You could, but you wanted him just as much. Your hormones were not helping either. They only fueled the flame that was still clearly alive between you.

You moaned in his mouth, as the sloppy doing of his tongue drove you out of your mind. One of his hands reached further down your bottom, slipping between your thighs to feel the dampness pooling on your underwear. He always knew how to get you wet with just a kiss, but this was something else entirely. You were sopping wet. He could feel your juices seeping through the fabric.

“Say that you don’t want me again, I dare you,” he drawled with a shit-eating grin.

“Shut up. I need you to fuck me,” you sucked in his lower lip hard between your teeth, tugged it, and let it go when it was bright pink.

He scoffed at your request, not of mockery but pride of being still able to incite you like that.

“We don’t have much time. You have to do it fast,” you warned and turned around, pushing your panties down to your ankles as he undid his belt and fly.

“Your wish is my command, Corazón.”

Shane quickly pulled out his cock. It was half hard.

Biting on your lip, you glanced over your shoulder to see him jerking himself off up to a firmer completion.

You stuck your butt out and propped your forearms on the hard surface of the counter, as Shane guided his cock oh so carefully between your tender lips.

“I’ve never fucked a pregnant woman before. I don't wanna hurt you,” he confessed in your ear as his hardness stroked just a little further into your walls.

“Don’t overthink it. Baby’s safe. Just fuck me like always.”

“Hmm,” he followed your order and after a couple of experimental thrusts, the pace of his hips skyrocketed to a punishing level that felt like heaven and hell rising at the same time between your legs. He kept your hips locked in his hands, fingers digging in your flesh as you tucked one of your hands between your legs to feel your juices leaking all over your legs and floor. It was like nothing else you’ve ever felt. Most of it was partially hormonal, the other part was a mix of being touch-starved from your husband, and missing Shane, and his cock like crazy.

You rubbed your clit and all of a sudden one of his hands slipped under the hem of your shirt at the front to feel your breasts.

“Fuck, you’re so big and juicy, mi vida,” he grunted, squeezing your overly-sensitive, pebbled nipple that felt like a rock between his fingers. His face leaned closer to whisper in your ear. “I’d put another baby in there if I could. You’d like that?”

“God, I would love that,” you moaned, throwing your head back against his shoulder. “Come inside me, mi amor.”

“Yeah? Tell me you love me, and I’ll give you anything you want.”

“I love you, Cielo,” you gasped as he removed your hand from your pussy to replace it with his own. “I fucking love you and your big cock. Please. Hmm, fuck… fuck, fu…”

“There, mi vida.”

You felt your soul being pulled out of your body when the winning push forced a torrent of pleasure that traveled over your body as your opening contracted around his dick. You went up so high, so fast, you almost didn’t feel when he shot his load.

When he slipped out of you, you quickly went down to pull on your panties back in place. You almost felt embarrassed at the mess that you made on the floor and all over the cabinets below the counter if it didn’t feel that good.

“You really have to go now,” placing a palm on his chest, you glanced out the window, knowing that your husband wouldn’t take much longer now.

“I wanna see you again.”

Your eyes welled up. “We can’t do this again, Shane. If he finds out…”

“Please,” he pleaded over and over in between a trail of desperation and kisses peppered all over your face and neck. “I can’t live without you, mi amor, mi cielo, mi corazón. Te necesito.” (My love, my sky, my heart. I need you.)

“Shit. Alright,” you paused to collect your thoughts. “Come tonight. After ten. He’ll be gone the whole weekend. If there’s a truck on the driveway you turn away.”

“Got it.”

“Leave your car at the end of the street, you walk all the way here, and come at the back. ¿Entendido?” you pointed at the back door in your kitchen. (Got it?)

“Alto y claro.” (Loud and clear.)

“C’mere, Cielo,” you wrapped your arms tightly around him, and inhaled the smell of his neck for a long moment before sending him in his way.

You went into the bathroom to clean yourself up and saw his seed had dripped from your pussy to your panties. It was still warm and wet. You dabbed your fingers on it and shamelessly brought it to your lips to remember how his cum tasted. Then you pushed those same fingers into your opening to pick up the remains of you and him and licked every bit of it off your digits.

You hated that he had turned you into this mess of a woman that couldn’t ever resist him. Some bonds are unable to explain, and as much as you hated him, you loved him even more than you thought.

As you wiped your legs and changed your underwear, you felt the roaring of your husband’s truck pulling up the driveway before stomping into the house. You hurried to clean up the mess in the kitchen. You could tell it smelled like sex, but Clayton had been drinking as usual, and his senses were shot by the stench of alcohol.

You really knew how to pick them. First Shane, then Clayton. To be fair, Clay was a completely different person when you met him. It wasn’t until a few months ago that he lost his job, and you got pregnant that he started showing his true colors. While Shane, you always knew what you were in for cause he was always the same person from beginning to end, he never hid what he was.

Every other weekend Clay went to a cabin up in the mountains with a group of friends to hunt and whatever the hell they did cause hardly you ever saw anything brought back from those alleged hunting trips. He just brought more dirty clothes soaked in booze and muddied boots. Lately, you didn't even care. You actually preferred when he was gone cause it got him out of the house and those weekends away were the only times you could breathe.

For all that he had put you through, you didn’t feel guilty in the slightest from doing what you did with Shane. God knows Clay would probably be fucking around. You were sure of it cause one, he hand’t touch you since you told him you were pregnant; and two you weren't blind or deaf either, and had caught him talking overly friendly, like he used to talk to you at the beginning, over the phone a couple of times when he thought you were asleep.

“Did you have coffee?” Clay picked up the mug with coffee grounds that Shane left on the counter. “You shouldn’t drink it.”

“I didn’t have any. I had a friend over earlier and I forgot to clean it up.”

“You know how I feel about having people in my house when I’m not here.”

“It’s my house actually,” you pointed out. “What? Are you gonna forbid me from having friends over now?”

You knew you shouldn't poke the bear when it was drunk, but sometimes your mouth ran faster than your brain.

“We're married, remember? What's yours is mine and all that shit. Don't forget that, bitch.”

God, you had to refrain so hard from punching his face.

As you headed out of the kitchen to avoid getting yourself further into trouble, he grabbed your arm, stopping you from leaving.

“I am your husband. And this is my house. You'd be nothing without me. Show some respect.”

“Men who hurt their wives, their pregnant wives, don't deserve any respect,” you snarled. “Now let me go before you do something you might regret later.”

He looked at you with sharp steel eyes, clutching your arm so hard it felt like he might snap it in half. He wanted to hit you so badly, you could tell, like the night before when he swung the remote across your face when you accidentally knocked over his beer.

You held his stare just as defiantly, and pulled your arm free from his grasp. It left a mark that turned into a bruise quickly after.

Staying out of his way, you went into the nursery and sat down with a book on the armchair to read while he gathered his hunting supplies. You heard him heating up some leftovers and showering before leaving.

All you could think when you listened to his truck drive off was seeing Shane again. You had a couple of hours left to get ready. It was a safe window for you to know that your husband was up in the mountains and wouldn't be coming back till Sunday. You followed his friend's updates on Instagram to keep track of him. Trent was an avid poster, and it was the perfect way to keep tabs on him to avoid the imminent disaster of him finding you with your ex.

You took a shower and changed the sheets of your bed, so they wouldn't smell like Clayton. You were dead set on banging Shane in your bed. Technically, he had fucked you many times before, pretty much in every room of this house but never in your new marital bed. It really excited you thinking about it. You wished you had more time to go to the mall to purchase some sexy lingerie that fitted your pregnant body.

God, Shane really knew how to turn you into an idiot.

In the end, it didn't matter what you wore cause it wouldn't stay on for long. You opted for wearing a pair of lacy panties that you could still fit, but the matching bra didn't stand a chance against your new boobs. You put on a flannel shirt instead, and buttoned a couple of buttons that allowed for your generous cleavage to be the center of attention.

You took off your ring as well and hid it in one of the drawers of your nightstand.

When you finished fixing your hair you went around the house and drew all the curtains for privacy. Then you finally got to relax for a while. You checked Trent's Instagram to make sure they had arrived at the cabin. Exactly like you predicted, he documented the whole thing.

Waiting for Shane, you watched TV and ate some food. When you looked at the clock it was twenty minutes past ten. He couldn't be far, right? You built yourself up to the idea of meeting him again, that’d be disappointing if he didn’t come.

For ten more minutes, you started to believe you shouldn’t have put that much effort until you heard a soft knocking on the back door.

“Empezaba a creer que habías cambiado de idea,” you said, letting him in, and securing the lock on the door. (I was starting to think you changed your mind.)

“When have I ever disappointed you, mi vida?” As you took his hand, you gave him a look, and he scoffed, “don’t answer that.”

“I’m just glad you came back.”

“Fuck! Look at you, Corazón,” his eyes traveled down your body when you turned to him. “You wanna give me a heart attack?”

Taking that as a win, you grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulled firmly towards you to have his lips crash against yours. Then you took him to the bedroom and as you were about to capture his mouth again, Shane stopped you.

“Hold on,” he put some distance between the two of you. “I need to get a good look at you.”

He took off his shirt and tossed aside, as he circled around your body, committing to memory the new curves of your body. When he stood in front of you, you took a closer look at his exposed chest and gulped at the sight of your name tattooed in delicate lettering over his left pec.

“You got that for me?” you traced it with a finger.

“Si, Corazón.”

Your stomach fluttered as his fingers undid the two buttons of your shirt and pushed it off your shoulders to uncover your breasts and baby bump.

“You’re gorgeous like this, mi vida,” the flannel shirt fell to the floor as the back of his knuckles brushed the side of your heavy breast before holding one of them in his hand. It was way larger than his palm he realized, he used to be able to hold it all, now your flesh puffed up between his fingers when he squeezed. “You’re so sensitive.” He noticed your nipples getting hard with just a light touch.

“You can’t even imagine,” you laughed.

“How about here?” Shane guided his other hand between your legs to feel that you were already wet.

You hummed at the soft strokes of his fingers as they slid under the elastic to caress your tender skin. His lips parted at the corner of your mouth as he gathered the arousal from your folds. Your lips down there were puffed too from all the blood gathering all at your core.

“Lay down, I wanna eat you up, Darlin’.”

He bit his bottom lip and watched you following his order. You slipped your panties off under the dark stare of his beautiful eyes that had turned from sweet to a dangerous edge that could set anyone on fire.

You tucked a few pillows beneath your back to keep the weight of your belly off your spine, and reclined as comfortably as you could, spreading your legs wide for him like an offering.

With a grin, he propped a knee on the bed and looked at your cunt as if it was the most precious thing he’s ever seen. He settled between your legs, curled his arms around your thighs and dived right in. With the tip of his nimble tongue, he slowly drew the shape of your lips before circling around your clit. Unlike your husband, Shane was a master of giving head, and was well versed on your pussy. Even after all this time, he still remembered what made you tick.

A shiver ran down your spine as the plane of his tongue licked long strokes from your entrance to your swollen bud.

You threw your head back when his lips wrapped around it. The vicious pressure of his lips around that bundle of nerves felt out of this world.

“God, I’ve missed you, Cielo,” you moaned, threading your fingers in his hair.

“You taste so fucking good,” he grunted ferociously against your folds as a response and all of a sudden he began to suck on you like a starving beast.

Your juices, just as before, leaked all over. It was ridiculous how much you could produce in such a short time. You could feel the fabric below your ass absorbing them.

All your bearings were quickly lost as he took you closer to the edge. All you could do is cry out in pleasure, and squirm as his grip tightened around you to keep your hips in place. You tugged hard on his hair to anchor yourself but all that did is prompting him to go even harder.

“Close… I'm so… fuck, Shane, please… please,” you couldn't stop begging with shallow breaths. Your core was on fire, and you desperately needed to come. “Yes, like that… Ahhh.”

Your legs suddenly clenched around his head a wave of wild bliss coursed through your body, from your center out in different directions. Your toes curled, your muscles shivered, your breathing faltered as your mind was temporarily blown into pure joy. You closed your eyes and let that all take you over your body for a few seconds.

Slowly coming back to your senses, your pussy tingled for a little longer than usual.

Shane was on his knees between your legs, massive erection in his hand when you opened your eyes to find him staring directly at you.

“Goddamn, Corazón. I wish I could take a picture of you like that. I've never seen you come like that for me,” he groaned, pumping his length. “Look how fat you made me.”

Softly laughing, you managed to lift your hand to help him. You replaced his fist with yours and felt the jerking of his firm dick in your palm. His girth was so wide, your thumb couldn't touch any of your other fingers in a curl.

You wondered how many pussies his cock fucked during the past few years. And without thinking or stopping your hand, you asked…

“Di, ¿cuántas zorras te has tirado con mi polla?” (Say, how many bitches have you fucked with my cock?)

“¿Tu polla?” he snorted. (Your cock?)

“Yes, just mine,” you winked as you kept your hand moving. “Dime la verdad o paro.” (Tell me the truth, or I’ll stop.)

“Hmm, no me tortures así, Corazón.” (Hmm, don’t torture me like that, Sweetheart.)

“Come on. Tell me,” you requested again.

“None,” he panted, unable to keep up with the rhythm of your hand. He had to brace a palm on the mattress to keep himself from falling. “You said it. Soy todo tuyo, mi vida. Te lo prometo.” (I’m all yours, my life. I promise.)

You smiled widely, pressing your teeth on your lower lip, as you enthusiastically got him to ejaculate all over your swollen belly. It was warm and sticky, and you couldn't help but spread it like butter all over your tight skin, and bring some of it again to your mouth as Shane’s body melted next to yours.

You turned to the side, pushing the pillows under your back aside, keeping one for your head.

Your fingers found his stubbled jaw as you tilted his face in your direction.

“You really haven't been with anyone since the last time I saw you?”

“No. Not like this, Darlin’. Don’t get me wrong, I fooled around with a couple of girls but nothing else. You know me better than that.”

“I'm not sure if that's still true.”

“Do you wanna know where I've been the last two years?”

You were afraid to find out, but your head nodded anyway.

“Prison,” he said without breaking eye contact.

“What for?”

“Possession. Bet you thought it was about time they caught up with me, huh?”

“No, I’ve never thought that, Shane. As much as I wanted to punish you sometimes, I never wished for that to happen. When did you get out?”

“Yesterday morning,” he smiled softly. “All I could think was you, so I got in the car and I drove all the way here without stopping.”

“You could've called me.”

“I couldn't.”

“Why not?”

“Cause you would've dropped everything to help me, and I couldn't put that on you.”

“I wish you had. I would've done anything…”

“I know.”

“I'd have waited for you.”

“I know that too, Corazón. Don't beat yourself up for it.”

Your phone dinged, and you blindly extended your hand to pick up from your nightstand. It was another update from Trent. They were playing beer pong like fucking frat guys, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“What’s that?” Shane asked.

“Oh, nothing, just checking on him. I’m keeping tabs on his friend’s Instagram to see that he’s still at the cabin.”

“No, not that. This,” Shane lifted your wrist as the soft light from the night lamp highlighted the mark on your forearm. “You didn't have this earlier. I told you my truth. Would you tell me yours?”

Placing your phone down, you pursed your lips, pondering why you’re still protecting that asshole.

“I… you were right earlier. I don’t really love him anymore. I don’t think I ever did. I just needed some stability and I thought he was it. This happened after you left. And this,” then you pointed to your temple, “he smacked me with the remote last night.”

“Why are you with someone like that? I thought–”

“You thought, what, that I had some self-respect? I used to. I think I did. It’s more complicated than you think. He wasn’t like that when I met him.”

“They hardly ever are.”

“He lost his job a few months ago and started drinking, it wasn’t until recently that he-”

“Stop. Don’t make excuses for him. Losing a job doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole and hit your wife or any woman at all. And drinking… I know a thing or two about getting wasted, and I never put my hand on you no matter how drunk I was.”

“You're right… I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Then, kick him out. Call the police. Get a restraining order. This is still your house, right?”

“Yeah, it is. But like I said – it’s more complicated than that. He has two cop friends. Best friends. They protect each other like fucking wolves. Last year, one of them killed a girl in a DUI, and he got nothing but a slap on the wrist. If I were to show up to ask for a restraining order, who do you think they’ll protect?”

“That’s fucking crazy. You can't live like that, baby.”

You sighted, combing the curls behind his ear. “Sometimes, when he goes away like this I think – this time he’d be too drunk to drive, and he’d end up going over a cliff, die upon impact and would never set foot in this house again. I keep closing my eyes at night and dreaming about it.”

Shane softly patted your hair back, and snuggled closer to you, wrapping you in his arms.

“I’m not gonna let him hurt you again. I promise, Corazón.”

“You don’t have to save me.”

“Lo sé, mi vida.”

Smiling against his chest, basking in the familiar scent of Shane, and feeling the big flutter of a kicking storm in your stomach. You held his hand and placed it on the side of your belly.

“She’s kicking. Can you feel that?”

“Yeah, I feel it. She? It’s a girl?”

“Yeah.”

“She’s strong. Does she have a name?”

“She does,” you placed your mouth over his ear, and whispered the name of your baby girl.

“That’s a beautiful name. She’s gonna kick ass, just like her mama.”

“I hope so,” your lips quirked up as you placed a small kiss on the corner of his mouth and confessed. “I wish she was yours.”

“I wish she was mine too.”

Your lips locked together once more as you rid yourself of all bad thoughts clouding your head. You only ever wanted Shane. It’s easier to forget how much you love him when he’s not around, and just as easier to remember that you’d die for him if you had to. As the intensity of the kiss rose, you shifted and straddled his waist. He watched you become a goddess as you rubbed yourself over his dick, getting it to fully harden.

“Are you in heat or something?” he laughed, holding your hips.

“It’s the hormones. What? Aren’t you up for the challenge, big guy?”

“Oh, I’m up, alright.”

You lifted your ass, held his cock and carefully sank onto it.

Rocking back and forth you propped your hands on his broad chest, so you could boost yourself up to bounce all over his massive erection. His hands held your ass to help you go faster.

When you caught him eyeing your big breast you bent over, holding one in your hand and put it over his mouth, so he can suck on it. His lips wrapped tight around your sensitive nipple and latched on it. You were growling at the wonderful sensation paired with his throbbing cock inside you.

“God, Corazón, you’re amazing, you feel so… “ He moaned as he switched to the other nipple.

This time his teeth scraped the surface, and you almost came at the surprise. You were so close you couldn’t help but bounce a little faster. You had to brace both hands again to keep up with the rhythm. The weight of your belly started to hinder your pace the closer you got to the edge.

“Help me,” you grabbed Shane's hand and put it on your clit, pleading with a cry, “I need it. Please.”

“I got you, baby. I got you.”

He rubbed viciously on your clit until you came with such force all your juices squirted all over him. Then the pleasure of your orgasm forced his own. His cocked jerked, and suddenly you were filled again with his delicious seed.

You didn’t hear Shane leaving after you fell asleep in his arms.

When you woke up to pee a couple of hours later, the clock marked 4AM, and he wasn't in your bed anymore. He had left the house altogether. You didn't have plans for the next day, but you weren't expecting him to leave that early in the morning either without saying goodbye.

There was a pang of disappointment in your chest as you went back to bed, but you closed your eyes, naively hoping he'd come back later.

It was your lucky day cause when you opened your eyes again, he was back and had brought breakfast with him. All our favorite plates were laid on the breakfast bar as he made a fresh batch of coffee.

“Where did you go, Cielo?” you asked in between bites.

“Went out for breakfast.”

“I can see that. I mean earlier. Woke up at 4 and you were gone.”

He took a long sip of his cup before responding, “I couldn’t sleep, so I went for a drive to clear my head.”

“It must be strange sleeping in a new bed.”

“Yeah, a little.”

“I have to work later. I can call in sick if you want–” you offered.

“No, baby, do what you gotta do. No te preocupes por mí.” (Don’t worry about me.)

“You can’t stay here, but I could still get you a room at the hotel if you’re tired.”

“Nah, do your thing, I’ll figure it out.”

“Would you… come later?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I’ll be here, Corazón,” he kissed your hair and picked up your phone from the counter, “unlock it. I’ll put in my new number, and you call me when you’re off. Yeah?”

“Prométeme que volverás,” you said before handing back the phone. (Promise that you’ll come back.)

“Lo prometo.” (I promise.)

After cleaning your plate you relaxed in bed for a little while, trying to get him to catch up with his sleep. There was no luck in that department cause he couldn't keep his eyes and hands off you. So once again, you found yourself in a trance of hormone-induced lust, and had Shane thrusting into you at full force from behind. Your ass was in the air, held in his broad palms, while you sobbed and moaned in pleasure against the pillow beneath your head. You desperately pushed back with your hips, taking him all in. Feeling every stroke, every inch and throb until your legs were left trembling and the fire in your core had spread through your whole body.

When you went off to work in the afternoon, it all seemed to become a hazy dream. It was all so intense that part of you thought it couldn't be real. But that was most of your relationship with Shane. Sometimes you couldn't help but feel you weren't enough for him. Him constantly leaving and breaking his promises was proof that you shouldn’t trust everything he says, but this time felt different. Maybe it was cause he was fresh out of prison, but you could tell that perhaps he was ready to stay out of trouble.

The first half of your shift went by quickly. You kept checking your phone like a maniac to make sure your husband stayed where he was supposed to, and luckily he did. If he wasn’t afraid of hurting you, you weren’t afraid of hurting him back, but you were indeed scared of him finding out about you and your old flame regardless.

You were at the front desk when Shane came in an hour before your shift ended to ask for a room. He needed a place to stay after all, and as the manager you managed pretty well to comp him a room for a couple of days. He carried his scarce luggage that consisted of just a duffle bag to his room, took a shower and waited for your shift to end.

Shane was half asleep when you finished work and knocked on his door. It was easy to see that he was utterly spent, so you didn’t make him drive back to the house. Instead, you stayed with him for the night. You trimmed his curls and shaved his face. Then, you took a long bath together like old times.

“Are you going to stay this time?” you asked once you got into bed.

You faced the other under covers and didn't talk louder than a whisper.

���I don't have anywhere else to go, baby.”

“Does that mean that you're done hustling?”

“I gotta. I don't have any other choice than to be done. Next time it could be 20 or 30 or life. I think I've tempted fate way too many times and got away with more than I should've. I had a lot of time to think and realized none of it mattered. Didn't care about the money. It was just… I don’t know, the power I guess. And I missed on a lot of time with you, and now I have nothing to show for. I don't really know what I'm gonna do, but I'm done with all that. All I know is that I just wanna be with you.”

“I…” your words caught up in your throat, as you tried to convey and process what he said at the same time. “I wanna believe that's true, but you've said you were done before and always felt right back into it.”

“This time is different. I can promise you that I'm not going anywhere this time. Cross my heart.”

Your lips softly pulled up at the corners as you placed your hand over your name's tattoo on his chest.

Regardless of his promise, you’d always have some reservations when it comes to him. Until he really proves it, there’s nothing stripping all those doubts he’s ingrained in you over the years.

When you woke up in the middle of the night he was gone like the night before. This time there was a note saying that he had gone out for a drive and signed it with – I love you, Corazón.

By the time you got up this time he hadn't come back. It didn't worry you though. You just went on with your day, drove back home to take a shower and run some errands before your next shift.

You weren't exactly sure what was going to happen next. You couldn't just jump into Shane's arms after all this time and pretend nothing ever happened. If this was really happening you had to make sure that was true to his word and figure out how he’d fit into your life when you were about to have a baby.

But most importantly, there was something you had to do first. Something that you should’ve done a long time ago and that was leaving your husband. You had been subjected to verbal and mental abuse for months that gradually turned into physical abuse. No matter how much it scared you, it was time to put your foot down and protect not only yourself but your daughter. She couldn’t be raised around him. And Shane or no Shane, it was something you couldn’t keep brushing aside hoping it’ll get better. It was easier to think about it than to actually do it. You weren’t sure how to start. Like you told Shane, going to Lafayette’s Police Department wasn’t an option. But maybe giving Rick a call and asking him for some guidance could be the first step of many.

You pinned that thought for the next day and went back to work a little earlier than usual. It was Sunday afternoon, and you dreaded that Clayton would be coming back later. So you decided to pay Shane a visit before work.

“You know, being here with you this weekend… it’s been the best thing that’s ever happened in a long time, Sweetheart.”

“Well, anything can beat spending two years in prison.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, mi vida. I mean it. I just hope you can forgive me someday for everything I’ve done. There’s a lot of shit you don’t know about that I wanna tell you but…”

He lowered his stare.

“Shane… I… If what you say it’s true, if you prove that I can count on you and that you’re not going back to all that, I’d never hold anything against you. That’s my promise. Whatever you did, you’ve done your time, right?”

“Right,” he picked up your hand and kissed your knuckles before smoothing his palm on your baby bump.

“I can come back later, just for a little while before going home.”

“If you feel like it, I’ll be here, Corazón. Always. No matter what happens.”

He said kind of ominously before you left the room. His tone was certainly different from the night before, he could barely look you in the eye as you said goodbye.

It really puzzled you as you went back to your desk. Maybe he was just tired or perhaps, he was actually feeling the weight of all his actions at once and was actually remorseful. You definitely hadn’t seen that look in his face before that afternoon.

On a quiet evening, when you thought this weekend couldn’t bring more surprises, there was something else that turned your world upside down when two of Clayton’s friends showed up at the front desk. It was the two cops, Simon and Paulie, or Prick One and Prick Two as you called them, asking you for a private place to talk.

You took them into the office where they asked you to sit down, so they could break the news of your husband’s death. It was hard to hear, no matter how many times you’ve fantasized about it, it seemed impossible and your first reaction when they told you he drove over a cliff was to burst into laughter.

“You guys are joshing, right?” you scoffed, and their faces remained unchanged, dead serious. “That can’t be right. He was with you the whole time. I saw it in Trent’s fucking pictures.”

“I’m really sorry, sweetheart. It’s true. We ran out of ice, and he said he was going to the gas station for more and never returned last night. We didn’t find him until this morning… we weren’t sure it was him until they got down to get him. That’s why we waited to tell you.”

“Ice? He went out for ice?” You gritted in disbelief.

“He was pretty wasted. We all were, but you know how he was, once he got something in his head…”

“That’s the last thing he said before leaving.”

“But we believe there was something else that I rather you hear from us than on the news. They found a bag with amphetamines and cocaine in his truck.”

“After he lost his job he was desperate and, we kinda knew that he was selling to-”

They kept spitting out information that didn’t seem feasible to you until you snapped.

“Stop, stop, stop,” you said stiffly, holding your palms up for a moment before getting up from your chair. “Everything you’re saying doesn’t make any sense. He’s many things, but he’s not a fucking drug dealer.”

Though it’d explain some things, you couldn’t believe Clayton had turned into that.

“You kinda knew? That’s bullshit. You either were fully aware of what he was up to or you two are the dumbest cops I’ve ever met. You just don’t – kinda knew –” you threw big air quotes at their own words.

“Hey!” Simon raised his voice for just a second before his partner motioned at him to have some tact.

“We know you’re hurting, sweetheart. It’s a lot to process, but we’re here for whatever you need. Clay would’ve wanted us to help you.”

A lot to process was an understatement.

You looked out the window and saw Shane’s jeep parked in the lot, and it dawned on you. It wasn’t an accident or a coincidence… It was Shane. He killed him. It was as clear as day. You told him about your fantasy of Clayton falling from a cliff the other night, and he made that happen. He murdered him in your name and these two clowns were obviously too stupid to figure that out.

It made you sick to your stomach to think about it and you had to fight not to throw up right on the spot.

“Do I need to identify the body? Is he…?” you couldn’t even imagine what he would look like. All you could think about is the last time you saw him when he grabbed your arm, that same arm you unconsciously were gripping to as hard as he did.

“We can take care of that. You don’t have to see him like that.”

You simply nodded as vile rose to your throat, “there’s a lot… If you could… I need to be alone for a minute.”

“We understand. Call us if you need anything.”

They left the office and the first thing you did when the door was closed was hurl everything you had eaten earlier in the wastebasket.

Beads of sweat covered your forehead and chest when you came out of the office. Your boss dismissed you from work and instead of going home, you went straight to Shane’s room for answers. What he said earlier about forgiveness of all the things he’s done suddenly made a lot of sense. He wasn’t talking about three years ago, he was talking about what he had done last night.

When he opened the door, your cheeks were already covered in tears, as rage just fired through your body. You couldn’t voice anything other than a “how could you….” as you shoved him back several times with all the strength you could muster until his back was pressed against the wall.

You didn’t have to say much cause he was aware that you knew that he indeed had killed Clayton. He fucking knew that sooner or later you were going to find out.

“Lo siento, mi vida. De verdad que lo siento…” (I’m sorry, my life. I truly am sorry…)

He wasn’t in fact sorry at all, he was sorry that he hurt you, but he wasn’t carrying an ounce of guilt from killing your husband in cold blood.

“He had to go. I’m sorry. I couldn’t just let him hurt you again, you gotta know that.”

“No. You’re not putting this on me. You did that cause you’re a selfish piece of shit. I shouldn’t’ve…”

“C’mon, you practically begged me the other day. Why would you tell me that you kept dreaming of him dying if you didn’t want me to do something about it?”

“It’s called being vulnerable. You caught me at a bad time and took advantage of it. I’m sick of men like you and him making the rules as they go.”

“I didn’t make any rules. I did what I had to cause you didn’t have the guts to kick him out of your life.”

“I had a plan… I was going to… and you…” you kept losing the ability to put your thoughts together.

“Babe, I don’t care if you hate me for as long as I live but, I’m gonna sleep tonight like a baby knowing that that asshole won’t ever touch you again.”

“Is that easy for you, huh?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t feel just one bit relieved that you won’t have to see him ever again. Di la verdad.” (Tell the truth.)

You shook your head, and swallowed the hard pill of his words. He was partly right. As shocking as it was, you knew that after all this, you’d be glad he was gone.

“It doesn’t matter, Shane. What you did was evil.”

“I did it cause I love you.”

“No, you did it cause you wanted to.”

“I didn’t wanna, I swear. For the first time… I didn’t wanna do something like this, trust me.”

“Trust you? I don’t think you deserve that.”

“You should go home and rest…. Once this is over you’ll see more clearly that this had to happen.”

“See more clearly? You’re the one with tunnel vision, Shane. If you can admit that what you did was fucking wrong, then there’s nothing else to say here. We’re done.”

“I’m not saying it wasn’t wrong. I know it was. But the only thing that matters to me is that you and your baby are safe. And if they lock me up for it, so be it. I don't fucking care. I wasn't gonna sit down and watch him hurt you again.”

“I… I really don't know what you expect me to do with all this. You killed, not just someone… you killed my husband. How can you sit down and pretend that everything will be fine? How are you gonna live with that?”

“Wasn't really the first time. I told you there was a lot you didn't know about.”

“That doesn't make me feel any better. I said I wouldn't hold anything against you, but this is too much, Shane.”

“I know.”

“No matter what he did, he didn't deserve…” you started but immediately realized you didn't even believe your own thoughts. He did deserve to die. Just not like this, perhaps. “Is there any way this could be traced to you, to us?”

“No, I covered all my tracks.”

“Are you sure?”

“Do you want me to give you the rundown?”

“If someone finds out…”

“Nobody's gonna find out. I promise.”

“Tú y tus malditas promesas. Sigues siendo el mismo cabrón.” (You and your damn promises. You’re still the same bastard.)

“Hey, mírame y dime, en tu corazón de corazones ¿De veras crees eso?” (Look at me and tell me, in your heart of hearts, do you really believe that?)

You glanced at him, but you couldn't focus enough to tell or understand what you believed anymore. Your head sunk into your shoulders in defeat before taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

“Was he really selling drugs or did you plant them?”

“I didn't plant anything. I have no idea what he was up to. I just followed him with my car and made sure he went…”

“How did you know where he was?”

“You showed me where they were in that photo the other night. Their dumbasses even tagged the location.”

“Did anyone see you?”

“So you want the rundown after all.”

“Just wanna make sure… I don’t know anymore… I don’t know why I care at all,” you tiredly held your forehead on your palms.

“Look, the less you know the better. They won’t come after you. I’ll make sure of that… but to answer your question, no, nobody saw me. I used a different car, I scooped up the place the night before and just waited… I thought I’d have to do it when they were all asleep but, when he got into his truck I saw my chance.”

“Ya es suficiente.” (That’s enough.)

You promptly stood up as you were torn in different directions inside. Turning your back on him, your hand reached for the door handle. “You should leave town while you can. I won’t tell anyone… but I can’t see you anymore.”

“So this is it? This is how it ends?”

“I don’t know… I just can’t really look at you right now. You put my life upside down in two days, Shane.”

“I’m so sorry for that. I really am. But I hope one day you have it in your heart to forgive me… I… I won’t be going anywhere. If you need me, I’m just one call away, Corazón.”

You didn’t look back, didn’t even glance over your shoulder one last time to see him as you stepped out of the room.

Emotionally and physically exhausted you drove home as your brain switched on autopilot. The next few days were hazy and draining. As soon as the body was released for burial you got the funeral out of the way quickly. It didn't surprise you that it was ruled as an accident, with the levels of alcohol in his blood and the drugs in the truck didn’t leave room for questioning foul play. And the worst part of it all, and that Shane was right, you didn’t feel bad at all for his death.

Though Shane left the hotel you worked at, he stayed in town. You saw his car parked by the diner the day you returned to work.

He stayed away. More than once you thought he’d come up out of the blue and show up on your porch, and you’d be too weak to deal with him again. But He didn’t even dare to call or text again after that day.

It wasn’t until three or so weeks later, when you started feeling more like your old self, you began going through Clayton’s stuff. There wasn’t really anything you wanted to keep, so you threw most of it in the donation pile and called it a day. There was one thing though, that you couldn’t sort, and it was the storage cabinet he had padlocked in the garage. You went through every drawer and pocket to find a key to it, but there was no luck. Maybe it was lost in the mountains with him, you thought. Then, as much as you wanted to avoid that, you had no choice but to search the bag you were given with the personal belongings he had during the ‘accident’. There you found the key attached to his keychain.

At that point, nothing surprised you anymore when you opened the cabinet to find a backpack filled with prescription pills and other drugs you didn’t recognize. Along with it there was also some cash, a gun with a box of ammo, his work tools, a pair of utility boots, and a few magazines.

Perhaps that’s the excuse you needed to see Shane again, who fucking knows, but for whatever reason you picked up the phone and called him. Without going into detail about your findings, you asked him to come over to look at your car instead and he did. A couple of hours later, as the sun went down, he knocked on your door.

“I’m glad you called,” he said.

“Follow me,” you requested dryly, as you guided him into the garage. With the door shut down to the driveway, you opened the cabinet and showed him. “Can you get rid of this?”

“Is this yours?” He scanned the bag of stash. “Have you been hiding a side hustle?”

“No, asshole. It was his. I’ve just found it and I don’t know what to do with it. Do I call the police?”

“Don’t. Please don’t do that,” he pleaded. “I’ve been watching those two, you know his friends, and they were in it too.”

“How do you know?”

“Cause I know. Why do you think they were so quick to rule it as an accident? They turned him into his errand boy. He didn't just go out for ice, he was making a drop that night. Those fucking pictures they kept posting? Those are their alibis.”

Short of breath, you took a step back and leaned against the hood of your car. “I don’t wanna know any of it. Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. I’m tired of all this, Shane… I want it to be over.”

“Sorry… I… yeah, I’ll get rid of it.”

“What about the gun?”

He picked it up and made a thorough inspection making sure that it wasn’t loaded.

“I’ll take care of it too.”

“Wait, if it’s registered, shouldn’t I just turn it over or something?”

“Ghost gun. Has no serial number, see?” He turned it around and pointed at the side to show there was indeed no number where it was supposed to. “In normal circumstances, you could say you just found it, but in this case… I wouldn’t do it.”

“Got it. Just do what you have to do. Get rid of the cash too, I need all of it gone.”

“Now, hold on, there's like 8 G's here. You should keep that.”

“It's drug money, I don't want it.”

“Yeah, but you could use it for something good. Buy something for you or the baby.”

“I don't need it, I was doing pretty good without his money. I won't be able to use it without thinking about where it came from. I never took yours, I'm not gonna take his now.”

“Think it's for a good cause. Like it or not, he was her father, you could open a savings account for her. Don't let it go to waste, sweetheart. You might need it someday.”

“I… Sure. I guess you're right.”

“I could get you a good price on that bag too. I'm thinking about 5-”

“No, I don't want you to risk it. Just get rid of it. Burn it, bury it, toss it somewhere far away from here.”

“Are you sure? The Dixons owe me one, I could get them to–”

“I'm not gonna bend on this one Shane. I mean it. Stay away from the Dixons. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Alright, I’ll just get rid of it. But y’know I’m taking a huge risk getting this off your hands.”

“Oh.”

“So, are you sure you want me to? If they find me with this, I could get locked up again.”

“Ya empezamos… ¿Quieres algo a cambio?” You huffed, crossing your arms firmly over your belly. (Here we go… You want something in return?)

“No, I mean… I just wanna see you for a coffee sometime.”

“Told you, I don’t drink coffee.”

“It doesn't have to be coffee.”

“I’m too tired to do this again Shane. Do it or don’t. I don’t care. After you’ve put me through… no tienes derecho a pedir nada.” (You have no right to ask for anything.)

“Lo siento. Tenía que intentarlo. Can you blame me?” (I’m sorry. Had to try.)

“Yes, I can.”

“Okay, I set myself up for that one,” he huffed, and looked at the bag in his hand, and reiterated. “I’ll take care of this, don’t worry about it. No strings attached.”

“Thank you.” It took you a moment to say it, but you did. “So, you’re not leaving town. You’re not scared of being found out?”

“No, I’m not scared of being found out.”

“And what’s your plan now?”

“I meant what I saw the other day. I'm staying. I got a job at Jim’s. He’s letting me use the trailer behind the shop to save some money. And that’s my plan for now. Why? Thought you didn’t care.”

“I don’t give a fuck.”

“No? It seems like you awfully care a lot about what happens to me for someone who says doesn’t give a fuck.”

“I was just curious, Shane. You can just go, we don’t have to keep talking.”

“But I like talking to you.”

“I know you do. That’s the only thing you have over me. Every time you open your mouth… you’re just one step closer to…”

“What? Changing your mind?”

“It’s not a good thing.”

“As I see it, it’s the best thing.”

“Of course you do.”

“Okay, let me ask you just one more thing, and then I’ll go.”

“Okay, one.”

“If someone you loved was treated like you were–”

“Shane… don’t.”

“Lemme finish, please. If someone you loved was treated like you were, wouldn’t you do something about it? What if it was one of your friends? What if it was me… or what if an asshole in 20 years treated your daughter like that? Would you just stand by and do nothing?”

“That’s not a fair question. You’re playing on my emotions right now. Of course, I’d do something about it.“

“Then, why is it different? Would you kill for me if I was in danger?”

“That’s more than one question.”

“Would you?”

“I don’t know. I guess it depends on the situation. Once upon a time, if you had asked me that, I’d say yes, I’d have killed anyone for you.”

“¿Y ahora?” (And now?)

“No lo sé… I have something more pressing on my hands right now. I’m not alone anymore,” you glanced at your baby bump. “The difference between you and me is that I have to consider that what I do affects her.”

“Guess I should’ve thought that.”

“You should’ve.”

“We could still make it work. Maybe not now. But maybe someday when you can look at me again without seeing what I did. What do you think?”

“I think you’ve gone over the limit of questions you said you were going to ask, and my head is starting to hurt. But you know that I’ll never rule anything out between you and me. We’re both a lost cause. And if you really stay out of trouble and keep your word, who knows? Maybe one day I’ll change my mind.”

“That’s all I needed to hear, Corazón.”

Shane closed the backpack and slung it on his shoulder.

“Be careful with that.”

“Don't worry about me.”

His hand carefully slid on the side of your neck as Shane pressed his lips to your forehead. It lingered, once again making you feel as weak as the day you met him. It made you question whether to push him away or just give in to old habits. You've accepted that no matter what he did, you'd never be able to get rid of him.

You tentatively held his jaw between your palms, and stared at his lips for a beat before returning the kiss. It was soft and quick cause you didn't want to delve too fast and make it feel like a reward.

“I'll see you around,” you offered. That's the best you could do for now.

[boygiwrites]

TWD Harley D. Dixon Chapter List

Daryl Dixon & Daughter OC.

Gen Tags. Found family, Daddy issues, Abuse, Hurt and comfort, Gore.

Summary. Harley D. Dixon is a tough yet sweet little girl who until the dead started eating the living, thought she had seen it all. Alongside a mismatched group of survivors in rural Georgia, Harley and her Dad are forced to leave their small life behind and learn how to survive all over again through the horrors of the apocalypse.

— TW: This fic contains canon typical violence and gore, abuse, mentioned suicide, off-screen suicide, main character death, and has been described by my lovely readers over on Ao3 as 'gritty', 'intriguing', 'intense', and 'special'. Please read with caution!

— Note: Canon is only loosely followed. Some changes have been made to certain plot points to keep it fresh and interesting / account for the added character.

❤️Cross-Posted from Ao3.

Season 1 - 2 Word Count: 180,000 Season 3 - ? Word Count: 48,000

SEASON ONE.

Chapter 1: Them That Mourn.

Chapter 2: No More Songs.

Chapter 3: My Brave Girl.

Chapter 4: Not Quite Yet.

Chapter 5: Black Out Days.

Chapter 6: Angels and Devils.

Chapter 7: Nothing's Ever Ours.

Chapter 8: In Sheep's Clothing.

Chapter 9: Rest In Piece.

SEASON TWO.

Chapter 10: Play Stupid Games.

Chapter 11: Win Stupid Prizes.

Chapter 12: Daddy Dearest.

Chapter 13: A Plan And An Execution

Chapter 14: If Heaven Weren't A Lie.

Chapter 15: Mockingbird.

Chapter 16: Custody Battles.

Chapter 17: Every Corner.

Chapter 18: Custody Battles, Part II.

Chapter 19: Dreams Don't Go Unpunished.

Chapter 20: And Still Very Beautiful.

Chapter 21: Thoughts and Prayers

Chapter 22: Growing Pains.

Chapter 23: The Type Meant for Dying.

Chapter 24: Church and State

Chapter 25: And The Type That Ain't.

Chapter 26: The Last Sunday on Earth.

Chapter 27: A New Life, Pursued.

Chapter 28: These Old Homes.

SEASON THREE.

Chapter 29: From Little Seeds.

Chapter 30: Red Handed.

Chapter 31: Maturity.

Chapter 32: The Best of Us.

Chapter 33: Picket Fences.

Chapter 34: Fresh Air.

Chapter 35: A Short Walk.

Chapter 36: Paradise.

Chapter 37: A Piece of Me.

Chapter 38: Heroes, Old and New.

[loveandfictionforall]

Hi!! I was wondering if you could take this request! I thought maybe a oneshot (platonic!Dale Horvath x fem!reader)

So it’s set in season 2 at Hershel’s farm. Shane makes her really uncomfortable by trying to get her to sleep with him, flirting with her, etc. so she hides away in Dale’s RV to try to stay away from him. Dale finds out what’s going on so he comforts her after having a talk with Shane.

If you don’t want to do this it’s totally fine!! Just lmk if you will or not so I won’t be waiting for nothing if you don’t😭

I kind of went a different route but I hope you still like it. I genuine loved your idea. Dale is often forgotten but he was a good man.

tw: mentions of harrassing, mentions of getting touched without consent

It's been a long time since you were truly sitting with Dale down. He had always been your friend, even though a lot of years separated you from each other. It had been quite a ride since arriving at the Camp. Back then you were together with Lori, Shane and Carl after knowing them for years. You used to be Carl's babysitter, actually being on duty when the apocalypse began and following Shane, Lori and Carl. You suffered through the loss of Rick, just like those three and stumbled like everybody else through the beginnings of the outbreak.

Since you were a woman, Lori and Carol got you into doing the chores with all the other women. The men went out, looking for food, clothes and medicine. You also wanted to do something. Teaching Sophia and Carl math and history wasn't really important for you but Shane always declined your wishes.

So instead you began to hide. At first it was in the woods until you got a mouthful from Shane - and even Merle. Soon you began hiding in the Camper, with a Dale always winking at you when he saw you slipping into it. When Lori, Andrea or Carol went asking, he always played his part: shaking his head and lying through his teeth, telling them where he saw you last. You never been there but it threw them off your trail. And thus, your friendship with Dale began.

Dale tried fixing his Camper with you. But unlike all those other tasks, he actually wanted you to do it, guiding you and giving you new knowledge about the workings of cars. On evenings he would invite you to sit on the roof with him, watching the stars and talking about those old times. You learned a lot about him and how his life had been. Soon you were kind of his kid - adult but also his kid. He showed you how to fish, how to skin them and even gave you his little pocket knife.

Even when Andrea began to insert herself into the friendship, Dale and you were inseparable. In the end, it would be Dale's death which would end your genuine friendship with each other. But you two didn't know that Hershel's farm would be his demise. Instead you were looking at each other with bright smiles and hope fluttering in your chest.

Sure, things were rough, especially since Rick appeared from the dead, still alive and healthy. It shook your world and made you hope that you will too see again your family. Nobody could escape the whole drama of Lori and her men but her so harshly shoving Shane away made things worse for you. You always knew that Shane looked at you sometimes a bit too long. When the world was still whole, you kind of liked it - being noticed felt good, especially by an older man with a bright career. Now it made you break out in goosebumps. Your neck hair would rise and without turning you would know that Shane would be staring at you.

It started small - a conversation here and there, a small compliment about her sharpening skills of knifes or her really good hiding skills from the other women. It still gave you the creeps but what should you do? Shane didn't to anything at first. But after Otis died, Shane changed. The crazed look in his eyes. Sometimes he would drink in the evening before he would press himself against you, his breath ghosting across your throat and cheeks. After that the touches started. It grossed you out - so much, that you tried to find a reason to sleep with Dale in the Camper. It wasn't possible, after all there was only one sport to sleep in.

But Dale knew something wasn't right.

And on one evening, while sitting together on the roof of the Camper, watching the starts you finally gave in.

"It's Shane.", would be all you would say. You still remember how Dale would straighten his back, his eyes getting serious when he turned all of his attention towards you.

"What did he do?" There wasn't doubt in his voice. It didn't waver. It was like he always knew something wasn't right with Shane. He saw Shane and knew he was danger.

"He just… He-" You could talk about it. Just thinking about it made you tear up. And finally those tears fell when Dale circled his arms around you, pressing you against his warm body, shushing softly against your frizzled hair. It just made you sob harder. In a world without any true rules and consequences, you couldn't do a thing. And even though Rick and Shane were fighting, it was his best friend, he wouldn't believe you. And Dale knew that.

So instead he gently swayed both of you while you used every strength in your body to talk and tell him about everything. Dale was your saving grace. He never doubted you.

"You will sleep in the Camper. I will take your tent." His words would have a final tone. Arguing with him would be unwise, his opinion was set in stone.

"But your back!" The small chuckle from Dale would make you smile. You always teased him with being too old.

"I think I will manage. It is far more important that you feel finally safe again."

When Dale lead you into the Camper and helped you into bed, his eyes were soft.

"You are a true blessing and you deserve to feel safe and loved. You will always be welcome with me." To be honest, it made you cry again but now they were finally happy tears.

It was a memory you never wanted to forget in this forsaken world. It would be a memory which would keep you alive, even in the toughest of moments, even after Dale died.

[smutinlove]

ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ ʙᴜʀɴ ʜᴀʀᴅ—ᴄᴀʀʟ ɢʀɪᴍᴇꜱ—chapter six: meddlesome

Chapter five: I watch as you're leaving

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

"Look at me. Come on, open your eyes." A voice softly whispered into her ear. Mae opened her eyes. She looked around for a second, feeling confused. "What?" she muttered to herself. She got up. Mae groaned. She knew she didn't hear that. And if she did, then it would go away eventually. "Don't ignore me, stupid," she heard. Mae rolled her eyes. She was imagining the voice. She didn't hear it at all. She kept telling herself. Mae felt a bit hungry. So, she decided to go downstairs. (Trying to forget the voice too.) And that's when she heard knocking on the door. "Rick!" Someone shouted. Mae's eyes widened. She was supposed to be alone at the Grimes family home. "Hello?" a voice called out. "It's Shane!" Mae's eyes widened. "Motherfucker." She muttered. Mae didn't know why, but the thought of Shane made her sick to her stomach. She walked towards the door and looked through the peephole. There stood a man, whom she knew was named Shane. She knew him as the 'probable father of Judith "Grimes." Judith looked a bit like him too. Mae rolled her eyes. Shane was a handsome man, but she didn't trust him. Even though she never talked to him, she knew he probably had sex with Carl's mom, Lori. "Carl?" She heard the man sigh loudly. "I guess there's no one home," he muttered to himself. Slowly, the man walked away. Mae let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. She felt slightly uneasy. "Look at me! Fucking notice me!" She heard the same high-pitched voice yell. Only, it wasn't a yell. Mae knew it was all in her head. And to her, she was probably going insane. But it didn't matter. Mae stepped away from the door and made her way into the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator and grabbed the half-empty jug of water. And she poured herself some water into a glass. She put the jug back inside and took a sip of water. "Stop ignoring me, you piece of fucking shit!" She heard. This time, the voice was louder. "Don't ignore me like you ignored Shane." And that did it for Mae. "Shut up! Just shut up!" She screamed. A face she never wanted to see appeared in front of her. "It's me, love! Elyssa Frank. But since we've known each other for so long, you can call me Ely!" "No! I don't want to call you anything! You're not real!" Mae felt rage. She didn't want to talk to anyone. Especially to something that isn't real. She didn't want to fall for her brain's tricks. She wasn't a fool. "Listen." "No. I don't think I will," she said. "Go away, Elyssa!" She yelled. And Elyssa was gone. Extinct? No. But she was gone. And now Mae could rest easy. But she had another problem. Shane. Luckily, Shane had left already. But Mae was a bit meddlesome. She was always involved in other people's business. Whether it concerned her or not. Like the time when her mother's best friend, Julia, was accused of murder, Mae solved the case in two days.

Julia didn't murder anyone. And the supposed "victim," Evan Johnson Wayne, faked his death. Why? Because Julia owed him money. And she wasn't able to pay him back. Mae was proud of herself. But then again, she wasn't. She knew that anyone could've solved that case. She wasn't Enola Holmes. Nor was she Sherlock. She was Mae. Just Mae. But this new version of Mae was better. And stronger and smarter in so many different ways. She was Mae Carter, the daughter of the cunning Edmund Carter and the graceful Willow Carter. (Sure, she heavily disliked her parents for being strict and controlling, but she was proud that she was their daughter.) She bowed her head and closed her eyes. She imagined who she'd be in the next ten years. A detective, a journalist, a model, an actress, a cashier, a reporter-and the list went on and on. But it never ended. But for today, she had one objective. That wasn't to become a detective or a journalist. But to figure out if Judith 'Grimes' was Shane's daughter and not Ricks.

[sunkissedandseraphic]

My Guardian Angel is Crying: Chapter 3

Story Summary: When Rick and Michonne watched Judith walk onto the school bus, calling out a small "I love you!" before the doors closed behind her, they smiled, knowing their family had welcomed another good day. But merely hours later, they receive a call that shatters their world: while going back to the classroom after their time on the playground, someone had managed to kidnap Judith, and there was no trace of who took her and where she was now. Desperate to find their little girl, Rick and Michonne were determined to get to the bottom of this, even if that meant supporting each other and their son in the midst of their own breakdowns. They had to find her, because if they didn't, they'd crumble into pieces too small to put back together

Chapter Summary: While Rick, Michonne, and Carl struggled with beginning to move forward from the events of yesterday, Shane and Lori were watching their long-awaited plans unfold before their eyes

Warnings: Child abduction, shitty parenting, manipulation and lying

“Mommy, I’m hungry,” Judith announced as she moved her game piece three spaces forward, stacking the card she held in the discard pile. 

Less than twenty-four hours ago, Lori had successfully managed to take Judith from school, unnoticed, and meet back up with Shane, where they checked into their current hotel room that rested just outside of King County. 

Lori and Shane had been figuring out the logistics of how to make this happen without getting caught for just about a month; after Rick once again denied Lori’s requests for even just the right to have supervised visitation with the kids, the couple reached their ultimate breaking point. They felt entitled to see the two, especially Judith. Shane felt that he had a right to see his daughter, even if she didn’t know she was.

So, the two created a plan and set it in motion. Lori had tried to follow every instruction her husband had given her, making sure to carefully cover her tracks, but when she showed up to retrieve Shane afterward in her own car, he– knowing that now the police could track the license plate to her name– made her leave the car behind and take his. 

Now, as the next morning began, she had managed to settle Judith down with a game of Sorry as Beauty and The Beast served as something stimulating in the background. As she drew a card, an aggravated sigh escaped her lips. “You just ate breakfast, Judith. You can have something later, alright?”

“But I’m hungry now,” Judith whined, drawing out the last syllable of her words to add an emphasis– maybe that could convince her. When Lori showed no kind of response to her daughter, she let out a small “humph”. Her eyes gazed around the room as her mother moved her game piece across the board, seeing a bag of popcorn tucked away in a duffel bag. “Can I have a snack?” Her smirk grew, but didn’t last long once she heard her mother’s sharp tone. 

“What did I say? Cut it out, now.”

“You listen to your mother, Judith.” 

Shane’s voice called out from the bathroom, looking at Judith through the mirror as he finished getting dressed. At their dismissals, an uncomfortable silence fell over the three of them. As Judith began to take her next turn in the game, her mind couldn’t help but wander.

She hated being here. She hated being in this stuffy hotel room with these two. She wanted to be home; she wanted to be snuggled up in a blanket on the couch, resting her head on Carl’s lap, feeling Michonne’s hand twirl her curls as she sat in the middle of the father and son, singing along to Mulan playing on the television– Judith’s all-time favorite movie (she liked how “Mulan is a badass with her sword”). 

Judith wanted her family, her real family.  “I miss Carl…” She whispered, shoulders sagging as she moved forward six spaces. Judith was adamant that everyone knew her brother was her best friend, so why wasn’t he here with her? “Mommy, why couldn’t Carl come with us?”

A hint of panic flashed across Lori’s face as she hesitated to come up with a lie on the spot. After a moment, she resorted to simply shaking her head and using the vaguest excuse she was able to think of, afraid anything else would cause too many questions from the younger girl. “Because he said he didn’t want to. He wanted to stay with Michonne and your daddy,” “Then when can I go home and see Mama and Daddy and Carl?” Judith asked with wide, hopeful eyes. As the words left her mouth without a second thought, Lori couldn’t hold back an eye roll and let an aggravated groan escape before she could think to stop herself. 

Upon hearing where the conversation had shifted, Shane stepped out and leaned against the doorframe, scoffing. “Now, Judith–” he started, but Lori was taking matters into her own hands. This was her daughter– her and Shane’s daughter– and now that she had Judith back, she was not going to let her go. If she wanted Judith to stay with them, Lori figured that she needed to know the hard truth. 

“Judith, look at me.” Lori’s voice was low, barely above a mumble, but stern. Granted, it had been some time since Judith had been around her mother, but she never remembered her sounding so angry, so frightening. Fear creeping into her chest, Judith obeyed Lori’s demands and met her gaze, her hand reaching out instinctively to find comfort in her stuffed rabbit. “Mama and Daddy? They are not your real parents. Do you understand?”

As Judith listened to her mother’s admissions, she felt confused; when Rick and Michonne had gotten engaged, he explained to her as best he could that while she may call Michonne her mom, she would be her stepmother rather than her birth mother, and what the difference was. Even being still so young, Judith knew that Lori had been her first mom and that Michonne was just the mom she got to live with– and the mom she liked better. 

Judith’s eyes were mistier by the second. Her heart hurt, too overwhelmed with homesickness and frustration to fight off the impending tantrum building up. “Daddy said you’re my real mom, but he said Mama is my mom too! I wanna go home! I wanna see Mama and Daddy!”

She was screaming now, repeating those words over and over again. Tears had begun to spring from her hazel eyes, the stack of cards from the now-forgotten board game scattered across the carpet. As Judith started to break down, Lori gave up. Like all the times in the past, she simply stood up from where she had been kneeling and walked over to her and Shane’s bed, unlocking her phone to ignore what was happening. She didn’t need to deal with her daughter’s meltdowns; that wasn’t her problem. 

Knowing that he now needed to deal with this situation, Shane joined Judith on the rug where Lori had originally been sitting. He placed his hands on the sides of her face and wiped her eyes, watching her lip tremble as her wails started to quiet down.

“Let me tell you something, alright, Judith?” Shane said, narrowing his eyes down at the girl. She sniffled as her nose began to run, but it was clear that he had Judith’s full attention. He took a minute to breathe, the lack of harbored guilt making him feel justified in what he was doing. 

“Rick, your dad, has been lying to you. He is a very, very bad man. He’s been lying to you, saying that he’s your dad, but he’s not; I am, Judith. Your mommy knows I’m telling the truth. Your daddy and mama? They wanted you all to themselves, but then they realized you should live with your real mom and dad, so they asked us to take you instead,”

“Why?”

Judith questioned, her voice wavering. For a child always so outspoken and extraverted, always yelling and giggling and full of sunshine, it was like someone had turned off the light in her. She sounded so heartbroken; what did Shane mean that Rick was bad? He was lying? 

Rick had been the one to teach Judith never to lie, especially to a grown-up, but what happens if a grown-up was now lying to her? Was he going to get in trouble like she does when she lies? 

“Because they knew that you’d be better with us, Judith,” The lying was easy for Shane: he was numb to it this far in his life. It was a skill he advanced to get what he wanted, and he wasn’t afraid to use it. If lying meant he got Judith, his daughter, he’d do it for the rest of his life. Rick never deserved to be blessed with Judith. 

While the information sank into her mind slowly, piece by piece, she only cried harder. Usually, when she was upset, Judith was met with cuddles from Carl, soft lullabies from Michonne, and peppered head kisses from Rick, but instead of the actions she grew accustomed to, Judith received nothing. No comfort, no hugs, no whispered words of reassurance and love: nothing.

Shane pulled his hands off her rosy cheeks and turned to the desk at the opposite side of the room, typing something Judith couldn’t see into his computer. Wiping her stream of tears, she looked over at Lori, whose head was buried deep into Rick’s Facebook page, stalking every image and post from the last four years. Again. 

“Can… Can we call Daddy? Or Mama?”

She unglued her eyes from the screen and forced herself to look over at Judith, growing sick and tired of her whining. In the days leading up to all of this, Lori never saw her having to deal with her daughter constantly asking about Rick and Michonne and begging to call them so she could hear their voices.  

Judith had asked about five times since they arrived at the hotel last night, and each time Lori and Shane just told her that nobody cared enough to answer the phone. As much as she seemed to be believing it, they were growing weary of how much longer that excuse would work. “I’ll try, but your daddy hasn’t been answering any of the few times we’ve called, but I’ll call him again,”

Seeing Judith’s optimistic expression filled Lori with jealousy. She was her mother, and Lori was seething that Judith refused to be happy that she was with her true parents once again.

As reluctant as she was, Lori saw the look Shane was casting her way, and giving in to her daughter’s request, Lori nodded. She closed out of Facebook and when on the homescreen pressed the screen randomly a few times before placing the phone up to her ear, pretending as if she was listening to it ring. 

After about a minute, thinking she had sold the lie well enough for Judith to fall for it, she scoffed and set the phone back down on the bed. “No answer. I’m sorry, Judith,” Lori’s tone was laced with false sympathy. Judith, even at the ripe age of six years old, felt like everything she had ever known was falling around her. Her parents and brother no longer wanted her, the man she had thought to be her father had been lying this entire time, and her “real parents” seemed to be off in their own little world without her.

Sighing, feeling a hollow sense of loneliness take over, Judith cuddled her raggedy stuffed rabbit close to her heart and chose to settle her attention on the movie playing in front of her. No warm hugs, no singing along to the music, no laughter or love filling the space.

She never particularly liked Beauty and the Beast anyhow.

[artemis-b-writes]

A/N: Hey yall! First and foremost: If you’ve read this before this no you haven’t. This is my first time posting this Anyways! This is my first long-form story so of course I chose the longest show known to man!

Thank you to my lovely beta reader: @ebodebo (go follow her) for putting up w my constant talk of rewriting (turns out you do need 5 chapters of filler lol) and being my all around soundboard. I’m so excited for the things we have planned! Enough yapping let’s get on with it!

TW: gore, violence, strong language, mature content

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Chapter one- The World Is Ending

August 26th, 2010-

The beeping of hospital monitors haunted my sleep. I’d been spending every night in uncomfortable, plastic, hospital chairs for as many nights as my mom allowed. My father Rick Grimes had been shot in the line of duty 2 weeks ago and had fallen into a coma from the blood loss.

I stayed with him when my mom worked so he wasn’t alone. I’d tell him about school, keep him updated on Carl and read to him, praying he could hear me. A fresh vase of flowers at least made the room bright for when he’d wake up.

But right now I was sleeping, or trying anyway. I could feel a thin hospital blanket on me. Theo, one of the hospital's CNAs, harassed me about taking care of myself and usually I fell asleep fully clothed in their shitty chairs without a blanket.

“Peaches?” The voice behind her made Victoria practically jump out of her seat.

“Jesus Shane….you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?” Victoria asked harshly. She never liked Shane, even as a little girl they butted heads. She couldn’t for the life of her imagine why Rick would hang out with him after work.

“Victoria we need to go. Now.” He spoke quickly, making his way to her dads bed and kneeling down beside him. “Rick, if you’re gonna wake up now’s the time man, shits going down and we need to leave.”

“Shane,” Victoria laughed half heartedly “what are you talking about?” Just when she thought he was finally losing it, gunfire started to ring out from outside the door. Shane pulled Nadia down under him as she screamed. Shane covered her mouth and she would’ve bit him in different circumstances.

I mean who the hell would open fire in a hospital?!

Victoria could feel the tears start to well as Shane begged her father to wake up so they could leave, telling him that if we stayed they’d all die. After a few minutes of bargaining Shane picked her up and dragged her out of the room.

“No!” She tried to push against his grip but he was incredibly strong. Victoria kicked and pulled until Shane pushed her into a hallway, begging her to be quiet or else they’d be found. She peaked around the corner, Shane pulled a gurney in front of Rick’s room. There was blood everywhere, screams and gunfire echoed down the hall. Shane grabbed her arm and they ran from the hospital, Victoria broke down when they got to his pickup.

“YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” Victoria hit Shane’s arm as hard as she could over and over and over until she didn’t have it in her anymore. She knew he was hurting too but didn’t care. He left her dad there to die.

“Peaches I had to.”

“Don’t call me peaches Shane. My dad is fucking dead.”

Shane sighed again, the truck roared to life as we peeled out of the parking lot. She stared out the window, thinking of her dad. Would he die? Would they leave a comatose man’s body to sort himself out? What if he woke up and everyone was gone?

Victoria and her father had always been close. She was the stereotypical ‘daddy’s girl’, hell as soon as she was old enough to hold a rifle without falling over she and her dad had gone hunting every season.

He taught her how to cook, she knew all his favorite bands and all the words to every corny song that he absolutely loved. Sometimes when Carl was a baby she and Rick would sneak out and go to the 7/11 down the block just to get candy and rent cheesy movies to watch together….and now they’d never share those moments again.

“We’re here.”

Shane’s voice broke Victoria from her daze, she looked out the window to see her mom and brother already packed up ready to hit the road. “Go’n and pack a bag, I’ll talk to your mama and Carl.”

Carl.

He was only 10…and now he’s going to find out he’ll never see his dad again and the world might be ending?? He’ll never get those moments hunting alone with his dad as the sun breaks the day. Or watch cheesy movies with her and their dad when Victoria would be home from college. She could feel the bile rising once again as she made her way past her family and into her room.

Victoria had a typical 17 year olds room. Honestly, the floor was littered with laundry she needed to do as well as some CDs she’d rummaged through that morning. Her walls were a neon teal, they’d mostly been covered with posters of movies and bands, and paintings she’d created out of boredom. She tried to soak in every inch of her room in case she’d never see it again. As she started to pack she took a Polaroid off her wall.

“Jeez Anthony….you should be at practice right around now. Please be safe.”

She tucked the Polaroid of her and her best friend into the pocket of her backpack and kept packing. Just the essentials: a couple pairs of jeans, some tee shirts, boots, hat, dads hunting jacket, socks…toothbrush? Definitely a toothbrush. A hairbrush and a few notebooks and pens (and some comic books for Carl). She also made the decision to pack her hunting rifle in case they got stuck foraging for food, as well as a heavy knife.

She threw her bag into the back of the truck so that no one would suspect how heavy it was. Her mom and brother were crying into Shane as he had just broken the news. Or however he’d spun the story…but Victoria knew the truth that Shane had abandoned his “best friend”. Shane loaded everyone up into the truck and said they’d be headed to Atlanta and that the military would help them.

“Are we going to die?”

While it was spoken barely above a whisper, the question jolted Victoria out of her daydreamed haze. She looked down at her brother Carl who was laying in her lap.

“No baby. Because I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you safe, and so will mom and Shane.” Victoria tried her best to reassure him, rubbing his back softly. She’d instructed him to lay in her lap so he couldn’t see the panic that the rest of the world was in.

Before they knew it, they’d left King County and were headed to Atlanta. Victoria fiddled with her cross necklace, Carl had fallen asleep leaving the truck uncomfortably quiet.

The Grimes weren’t really a religious family but Victoria did usually attend Wednesday night Youth Group with her best friend Anthony. The necklace was a gift from him.

Anthony. There he was on her mind again, she’d thought about calling him but Lori demanded she save her battery incase of emergency. Anthony Smith had been her best friend since middle school. They did everything together and were practically attached at the hip when they saw each other. He was a year older than her but that never mattered in how close they were.

Anthony was actually quite soft spoken, and smart as a whip. He was a tall kid, probably standing at about 6’3. He was built like an athlete, but he had to be with Track and field. They actually became friends at a track meet in sixth grade and kept up with eachother daily through AOL and Skype. And obviously only hung around each other at said meets. Anthony’s dad was a PE teacher and Coach so he definitely fueled the athletic fire in both kids. Anthony has always been a sweet kid and even when he was an asshole Victoria could never be mad at-

“Victoria! Get your head out of the clouds I’m talking!”

Victoria jolted in her seat, there she was daydreaming again. Lori was giving her daughter quite the concerned look.

“Where are we mom?” Victoria looked out the window to see full bumper to bumper traffic.

“Outside of Atlanta but as you can see we’re stuck in traffic” Shane answered from outside, with quite an annoyed tone Victoria noticed. She ignored Shane and hopped out of the truck so she could stretch her legs.

“Where’s Carl? I think I threw some comic books in my bag, I’m sure he’s bored out of his mind sitting here.” Victoria looked around and spotted Carl a few cars down playing checkers with a girl who looked to be about his age. She had a short blonde bob and a smile as bright as the sun.

Victoria smiled in amusement and made her way to the car with her mom. “Someone has a cru-ush!” She teased in a sing-song voice. She yelped when Carl turned around and smacked her arm as hard as he could.

“Mo-om!!! Carl hit me!”

“Don’t tease your brother then!” She laughed. Victoria rolled her eyes and fluffed her brother's hair before sitting behind him to watch the kids play. Right as she sat down a woman came from the front of the car with waters. She was a smaller woman with buzzed gray hair.

“Oh! You must be Victoria, I’m Carol!” She had a smile just as bright as Sofias, Victoria made a mental note that they must be related. She smiled and thanked her for the water, and as she took a sip Carl enacted his revenge.

“You say I have a crush on a girl I just met when you’ve been after Anthony since forever.” Victoria showered the back of Carls with the water she had just taken a sip of and was prepared to cuss him out when the commotion started. Bombs were dropping into Atlanta.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Victoria screamed as she pulled the kids down to the ground underneath Carol’s car. She moved her body over the both of them so they would be shielded if anything came down.

The rest of the night was a blur. Shane grabbed everyone’s bags from the truck, grunting as he lifted Victoria's particularly heavy bag. They ran into the woods with Carol, her husband Ed, and Sophia. There were screams in the distance and somehow Victoria and the kids got separated. She held onto both of them tightly. They ran until they came up on a high spot with a small clearing.

“Stop right there.” The shotgun barrel was aimed right between Victoria's eyes. They widened with fear as she put both her hands in front of her slowly.

“Sir, we’re just trying to get off the road…I have two small kids with me, please.”

The man’s aim faltered at the sight of the kids. Victoria rushed him, taking the gun and pointing it back at him. It probably wasn’t her smartest move but she had Sophia and Carl to look out for. There was a shriek behind her and Victoria whipped around just in time to shoot a man who was trying to get Sophia. Wait…what the hell?

Victoria slowly crept up to the man. He looked pale, his eyes were white and glossy and there was fresh blood around his mouth.

“Good aim kid. I’m sorry I pointed that thing at you. I just had to make sure you weren’t like him. The names Dale, you kids can stay with me and the girls tonight and we’ll look for your crew in the morning.” Dale smiled at her warmly, he was an older man judging by his white hair. But he had kind eyes and it was late so Victoria decided he could he trusted for the night.

She nodded, grabbing the kids as they headed into Dale's RV. There were two blonde girls sitting on the couch. One older one younger, Victoria figured they were probably sisters.

“Dale, who are they?” The older blonde asked, glaring at the three kids.

“Easy Andrea, the older one can take out those things like you wouldn’t believe!” Dale smiled back at Victoria. “They’re just staying for the night and…I didn’t get your name sweetheart?”

“Victoria. Victoria Grimes.”

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[bambieyedoll]

⊹ ⋆ ꒰ఎﾟMOODBOARD ໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ⊹

officer!shane walsh x reader

“everybody knows that i’m a good girl, officer” — playing dangerous by lana del rey ♡

[shalentino]

they are fast and definitely furious

[anna-hawk]

Title: Us, Character: Shane pls I am in desperate need of more Shane content

Send me a character or ship + a title

“You gonna come with me?”

It had been one week since Shane had asked you that question. One week since you'd said yes. And yet, the two of you were still here, at the farm.

With every additional day going by, Shane felt more and more antsy. He and Rick had come to a sort of truce, but both men knew that the rift between them had grown too large to be mended. Shane couldn't help the pang of sadness at losing his best friend after decades of them going through thick and thin. Times had changed… Everything had changed. Them included.

While Shane was cleaning his rifle on the porch steps, he watched you talking animatedly with Maggie, Dale sitting on his beloved RV and adding a comment here and there as he was wont to do. Shane couldn't hear what you were saying, but he still smiled as you burst out into laughter at something Maggie said. The smile fell from his face a second later, replaced by a contemplative frown, his eyes lowering to the weapon instead. Contrary to him, you got along with almost everyone. You'd clashed with Dale a time or two, and the way you rolled your eyes at some of the older man's comments had Shane snorting in amusement each time. The person you got along with the least, though, was Lori. It wasn't so much that you fought a lot, although you'd had a few heated arguments in the months since you'd joined the group, but more that you and Rick got along really well. She obviously didn't appreciate the fact that he kept looking for your input on things, no matter if he didn't like what he heard. Lori's jealous side would have made Shane laugh if he hadn't been feeling the same way. Because while Lori was the person you liked the least, Shane was the one you spent the most time around. You might agree with some of the things that Rick said, but you still shared Shane's opinions. You had from the day you'd joined the group back in the woods.

The thing was that while the attraction was clearly mutual from the get go, neither of you had tried moving things along. Shane didn't really know why, but the timing just seemed off every time. Which was ridiculous, to be honest, considering what the world had become. It wasn't like he could ask you on a date. Your lives were hanging on by a thread if you weren't careful even for a second, so he should have just gone for it the couple of times you had come close to kissing.

It had been with this in mind that he'd decided to pull you aside after announcing to everyone that he would be leaving the group soon. He had expected you to think about it for a while before giving your answer, but you'd surprised him by agreeing on the spot. Just like that. As if it should have been obvious to him.

As he reloaded the rifle, Shane sighed to himself as he thought about how well you fit into the group. He looked up again to see you flip Dale off behind his back, which had Shane smiling. It felt bittersweet. Because he realized that he couldn't offer you anything by asking you to leave with him. Granted, nothing was certain anymore, but at least here you had some sort of stability. People to count on. The possibility to survive. Going with him into the unknown suddenly felt like too much to ask of you.

Putting the rifle next to him, Shane lifted his hand in a small wave as you turned around to see him watching you and waved at him with an impish grin and a roll of your eyes in Dale's direction. Shane chuckled despite the leaden feeling in his gut at the decision he'd just taken as you followed Maggie to the other side of the field.

He spent the rest of the day preparing his departure. He chose to leave without telling anyone, since he'd already said that he'd leave. The only one he went to was Rick. If only to ask him to say goodbye to Carl for him. The boy would be his only regret. Shane purposely didn't think about you as he thought about regrets.

Car loaded and ready to go, Shane waited until close to sunrise before leaving. As he neared the car, he came up short at the sight of the figure leaning against the driver's side, their arms crossed loosely.

“So you were really just going to leave without me.”

It was a statement, not a question. Shane opened the back door and slung the backpack into the car before closing it again.

“Listen-”

“Don't you dare,” you cut across angrily. “Don't you dare serve me the bullshit you came up with that made you think that you had to leave on your own.”

“I have nothing to offer you,” Shane yelled in frustration and definitely a note of despair. “They do.” He pointed at the farm.

“Then why ask me? Why ask me to come with you if you were just gonna leave without me in the end?”

“'Cause I was a fuckin' idiot, and I thought…”

“What?” you asked as Shane didn't continue.

Shane rubbed over his shaved head and heaved a long sigh.

“I thought I could be enough,” he paused for a second. “Here? You have a chance, sweetheart. You're safe. You fit in with them… I don't. Not anymore. But I can't ask you to leave all of this behind for me.”

You didn't say anything for the longest time as you just watched him. You finally pushed off the car and came to stand just a few inches away from him.

“Has it ever occurred to you that I only stayed with the group because of you? Yeah, maybe I fit in, as you said, but…” You looked away for a brief moment before looking at Shane again. “I trust that Rick will do his best to keep them safe. But if we leave together, I know that we will keep each other safe. Us safe.”

Shane's breath got stuck in his throat for a moment at your words. How could that tiny word change everything?

“Us,” he croaked, and saw you smile as the first rays of sunlight hit your face from the side.

“Us,” you breathed, lifting your hands to cup his face and finally pull him in for a long kiss.

[denim-devil]

I HATE (with a burning passion) how small the Jon Bernthal x Male reader “community” Is…*cries

[swiftiesforpeeta]

everybody wants their fav to have a villain arc until it happens and you can’t even look at them because it’s so tragic and then you die

[thegreenaardvark]

Empathy

"Daryl?" he heard Carl's shocked voice ask.

Daryl was horrified as he dropped the thin blade into the bathroom sink.

He had never wanted Carl to see that.

He had never wanted anyone to see that side of him.

But there was Carl, standing there in the door as small red droplets ran down the inside of his arm.

Daryl hadn't been expecting his boyfriend's 16 year old son to be coming by his trailer. In truth, Carl had never been inside the trailer that he shared with his brother. Hell, he didn't even think the kid knew where he lived. It wasn't as though to was a big secret; this was Kings county after all. There was only one small trailer park and everyone there knew which one belong to the Dixon brothers.

"I-I…Mom and Shane are having a BBQ tomorrow and…I was just coming back from school and they wanted me to ask if you'd come. I knocked, but the door was open and…"

"How'd you even know which one's mine?" Daryl asked incredulously.

"The…um…your bike's out front."

Damn.

"I should…" Carl started pointing behind him towards the front door, "I'll tell Mom…something."

He heard the front door spring shut, and Daryl roughly pulled his shirt over his head and followed after Carl only to see the kid riding his bike off towards the main road.

Damn it.

"That doesn't sound like him. Are you sure that he wasn't just cleaning it out?" Lori said before bending to take the casserole she had made out of the oven.

"No Mom, he had a…a razor. I just…I didn't know what I was supposed to do y'know. I mean, it's Daryl."

"Well, what did you say to him?"

"I didn't really say anything. I just…kind of left. I wasn't going t' say anything but, there was this girl at school last year who did…that, and then she missed a couple of days. She ended up in the hospital and…and he had all these scars…"

"You're worried about him?"

Carl nodded.

"Who're you worried about now?" Shane asked coming through the door to the kitchen and already dressed in his work uniform, "Hey Honey, what's up?" he greeted Lori.

"Seriously Rick, I mean, the kid was pretty freaked out. It's not like I really know they guy, but should Carl really be goin' over there if he's doin' stuff like that?"

Rick had just gotten back into the station after taking care of an intoxicated driver. After having having gone through the debacle of Shane and Lori's affaire and his subsequent divorce from her, Rick had switched partners. It was best for both of them to have some separation.

Though he still made an effort to get along with Shane at work and when he went to see Carl, Rick still felt the sting of his betrayal. Rick's marriage to Lori had not been a healthy one. Even after finding out about Lori's infidelity, Rick had held out hope that one day he might reconcile with her. But after overhearing his former best friend loudly bragging to the rest of the squad about the expensive engagement ring that Lori had accepted from him, Rick had finally let himself move on.

It was one of the few night shifts that Rick had been stuck working. The man that had come in was haggard, his hair smeared across his face.

"Can I help you with something?" Rick asked as his hand had instinctually come to rest on the butt of his gun.

"Got to pick up my stupid brother," the man grumbled before pushing the hair out of his face, "Y' all brought 'im in a couple o' hours ago."

"Last name?"

"Dixon."

"And your last name?"

He stared at Rick like it was the stupidest question, "…still Dixon."

"Protocol. I still got to ask. First name is Daryl right? Looks like you've picked him up before."

Daryl sighed, "Yeah, he's been here a couple o' times. Any chance that asshole's sobered up yet? Don't feel like dealin' with him hammered like that."

"Here, take a seat Mr. Dixon," Rick said gesturing to the chair next to his desk, "I'm in his file right now, and it looks like he's been having some issues with public intoxication for some time. Have you thought about trying to get him into some kind of program?"

Daryl snorted, "You ain't met 'im yet have you?"

Rick had only really had a few interactions with Merle Dixon, but he knew enough. He knew Merle's type: stubborn, rude, and unless it suited him unlikely to change. Rick could practically feel the irritation rolling off of Daryl.

"Well," he started, "It ain't too busy in 'ere right now. Could probably leave him for another hour or two if you really wanted. Let him sober up a bit more."

"Already paid the bail…"

"Like I said, we ain't real busy right now. You can wait here and I'll go get you a cup o' coffee or somethin'."

But Daryl just nodded his agreement and stayed put.

If it hadn't been ovbious to Rick before, it certainly was now; he was the last person that Daryl had expected to be on the other end of the phone. He was greeted with a sharp 'What d' you want now?' upon hearing that he was calling from the Kings County sheriff's department.

"We met a couple of days ago regarding your brother's custody release. I'm just followin' up to see how you're doing, and to see if I could email y' all over some of those resources we talked about for your brother. We've got some real good programs run out o' the station here to support people dealing with alcoholism, and I think he could really benefit from some help…"

"Y' think Merle's just gon' walk up into a building full o' cops, then y' all are stupider than you look. If your boss wants t' keep tabs on my brother, you can tell him to do it himself instead of makin' you call me up."

"Look I…" Rick took a deep breath, letting it rush out of his throat, "I know probably don't have a lot of faith in the sheriff's office right now; and I get it…I do…but I do want to help you. And it's okay if you don't believe me right now when I say that the sergeant in charge here didn't put me up to anything. I can give you the number to the station and you can ask him yourself…his name is Abraham Ford. But if you change your mind about wanting to get him some help, you just call the station or drop off a note for me here and I'll start the process of getting something set up.

Rick was in line at the café around the corner from the station two months later, and while he had been trying to hold out hope that Daryl might change his mind, he was doubtful. Merle Dixon had been arrested no less than three separate occasions, and each time Daryl had come in half asleep with a wad of bail money and an even more exhausted expression. Rick didn't know how long the younger Dixon would be able to keep up with paying out his brother's bail. Thoughts of the younger man often ran through his mind. The man had had a difficult life to sat the least. Merle's file showed not only the more-than-monthly arrests, but has a section specially dedicated to crimes that had been committed against him; domestic abuse, and violent assault being the worst of them, after reading through the file, Rick had understood why it was so hard for Merle to come to the station for help. And he couldn't imagine that Daryl' life had been much easier by comparison. Rick couldn't blame him. He hated that the laws that he worked so hard to uphold had failed to protect the two men from their violent upbringing.

He hadn't been paying much attention the patron in front of him until he heard the man fumbling through his pockets for change. He let out a gruff, "Fuck…yeah, hold on," and Rick immediately recognised the voice.

Rick stepped forward and placed a 10$ bill on the counter, "Here. And throw in a large black coffee for me too."

The barista nodded and turned to make Rick's drink, as Daryl turned toward him.

"Didn't have t' do that man…"

"Don' worry 'bout it. 'Sides, might be the first time I actually got you a decent cup o' the stuff. Station's coffee tastes like gasoline." Rick said with a friendly smile.

The corner of Daryl's lip twitched up, "Yeah, kind o' noticed that the first time. All the cash I'm forkin' out and y' all still ain't bothered t' get a better machine."

"I'll bring it up at the next staff meeting," Rick joked.

"You goin' in or headin' out?"

"Out. I've got to pick up my son from his mothers place. Promised him we'd go bike one o' the trails north of 'ere. Supposed t' be a good one up past the trailer park. You know it?"

The corner of Daryl's mouth twitched up, almost like he was trying to supress a smile.

"Yeah, think I've seen that one. Y' all best watch out out there."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

Rick had been expecting to hear anything from bears, , to illegal hunting, to thieves. He hadn't however expected to hear 'Chupacabra'.

He let out a single chuckle in disbelief before responding, "Really?! You serious?"

"Serious as fuckin' syphilis man."

"Well, we'll keep an eye out."

Rick turned back towards the counter as a barista called out ,"Three large coffee's'" He collected his cup and turned back to Daryl.

"Here with someone? A girlfriend?"

Daryl scoffed, "Nah…'s my brother back there. Here, let me pay y' back for them coffee's."

"It's alright, I really don' mind."

"Don' gotta do that man…"

"Well' tell y' what; I'll be here 'round seven tomorrow mornin'. How 'bout you meet me 'ere an' pick up the tab for breakfast? Deal?"

Daryl was quiet for a moment, eyes scanning Rick's face before his expression softened into something kinder, "Yeah, tomorrow 's good."

And then it became a regular thing. Every Tuesday he would meet Daryl at 7AM for breakfast at the café, the pair of them taking turns picking up the tab. It took four weeks for Daryl to accept the card for Hilltop Health And Addictions Centre (HHAC), and five more weeks for Daryl to admit that he broke down and called Aaron Raleigh in the hopes that he might be able to drag Merle down to HHAC. It hadn't worked, but Rick was at least happy that Daryl had tried…

The first time it happened was at Rick's apartment. He had invited Daryl over for a movie and a beer. They were both drunk when Ricks mouth had crashed into Daryl's. For a moment, Rick had been sure that he was going to get punched, but the Daryl had instead used the hand on Rick's collar to drag him on top of him on the sofa. There was, what could only be described as a frenzy, to discard clothing. Rick had rutted desperately against Daryl, and then his mouth licking desperately along the other man's throat They were making a mess of the sofa, but Rick was happy to sacrifice the piece of thrift store furniture if it meant that he got to explore this…whatever it was…with Daryl.

Rick had always felt like there was something different inside of him. When he was young, he knew he was 'supposed' to be chasing after girls and looking up skirts, but he had often found his eyes wandering to the broad chests and strong straight torsos of his friends. And he still enjoyed chasing after girls; when he had finally caught Lori in their senior year of high school he had been ecstatic. She was sexy and curvy and smelled like lavender, and for the longest time he hadn't wanted to look at anyone else. But then she had left him, and he found that feeling coming back…

Except this time, he finally had a word for it; bisexual.

They had both woken up naked and hungover in Rick's bed. And Rick had been shocked to find that it wasn't awkward.

It had been so easy after that. Daryl had fallen into Rick's life, and Rick was happy for it. Of course there had been a couple of surprised faces in the precinct the first time Daryl had kissed Rick before leading him away from his desk for lunch, but aside from the more-than-occasional comment from Merle Dixon, it had been smooth sailing. And now they were happily eight months in…

Rick took his concern for Daryl and shoved it down deep into his stomach so that he could focus, "Ain't nothing wrong with Carl goin' over there. Maybe…maybe Carl just didn't see it right…"

"It ain't Carl man," Shane said, "I know…" Shane took a deep breath, "I know we've had out problems, but I'm tellin' you, man-to-man, somethin' ain't right here."

Four hours later, Rick found himself standing outside the trailer as the first drops of fall rain began to fall from the dark mass of clouds overhead. He hadn't even taken the time to change out of his uniform. He had finished the last hours of his shift working on autopilot; Paperwork, paperwork, taking statements, more paperwork…

Rick didn't care if it made the other resident of the trailer park nervous, he just wanted his boyfriend to be ok.

Daryl stayed the whole day in the trailer. He hated himself for letting , anyone, see him like that.

He didn't now why he did it. He didn't know what broken thing inside of him drove him to paint his skin with the blade. Things were good now; he had a job at an auto repair shop that finally paid him enough to stay on top of his bills, he had a roof over his head and a bed to sleep in, he had a refrigerator full of food, he had Rick… And it all felt to easy. It felt like some cruel twist of fate was going to wake him up and drag him back into the reality of his Daddy's belt ripping across his back.

He was happy, and it felt wrong…

It felt so wrong…

There was this foreign warmth in his chest that he was just so unused to. And he was truly fucked if he thought it was forever. He wanted to just let himself enjoy this feeling of…ease; of not needing to fight tooth-and-nail to survive each day that came and went. Why couldn't he just let himself enjoy this…

Daryl jumped at the sound of a fist pounding on the door of the trailer. He hadn't been expecting anyone to come by, and as he opened the door to Rick's concerned expression he felt his heart drop into his stomach.

Daryl took a deep breath, "What?" he asked indelicately.

Rick seemed slightly taken aback by his abruptness, but his voice was even as he responded, "Need to talk to you."

Daryl walked into his living room and plopped down casually on the sofa, leaving the front door open behind him for Rick to follow. He was already gnawing at the hangnail on his thumb, and he forced himself to stop before he turned the nail into a bloody mess. He figured it probably wouldn't help the situation if he started bleeding all over again.

Rick crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door frame.

"Daryl I-I heard something 'bout you from Shane t'day."

"Shane don't know me…"

"No, I guess not.."

"Then what the hell 're y' listinin' t' 'im for?"

"Told me Carl was worryin' about you? He came by right? Couple o' hours ago?"

"Yeah…yeah he was by," Daryl murmured, "Just fuckin' showed up. What about it?"

"Oh come on Daryl. Don't go tryin' to bullshit me. You know what this is about!"

"Yeah? It about your kid showin' up in my hall an' then runnin' out o' here like he was on fire!? 'Cause I'm bettin' he don't know what the hell he saw!"

"Then just tell me what the hell is going on!"

Daryl could feel himself shutting down. He wished he had just gone out on a hunt instead of staying home. He could have prevented this, but he hadn't…

And Carl got upset…

And Now Rick is upset…

And now their fighting, and it's his own fault…

Suddenly Rick was across the room and was crouched down in front of his knees and trying to brush away the fringe of hair he was using to hide from the other man. Daryl twitched as the pad of Rick's finger made contact with his forehead, but Rick didn't pull away.

"Please Daryl, just-just tell me what's goin' on."

"Don't matter," Daryl mumbled.

Rick's damn blue eyes were burning into his, and it made him want to squirm away. Rick must have known it, but he refused Daryl pull back.

"Daryl, you're hurting yourself. It matters ok? Don' shut me out baby."

Daryl took a deep breath, willing himself not to let Rick her the shake in it, "Ain't ne'er been right. Shit jus' feels wrong sometimes, an'…makes it easier I guess."

"How long?"

"Jus' on an' off for a while. It ain't all the time or nothin'."

"Daryl," Rick said a little more firmly, "How long?"

"…Since my Pa died."

Rick dropped his head down to rest on one of Daryl's knees, and Daryl decided he liked it better when Rick was trying to pry information out of him instead of hearing the silent hurt that was rolling off of him now.

"So this-this whole time we've been…an' you've been…Why didn't you say somethin'? Why didn't you tell me?!" Rick stood up and began pacing, his hands fisted tightly in his hair before he finally turned back towards Daryl, "I could o' helped you; could o' done somethin'…"

"Ain't nothin' y' could o' done man."

"No," Rick snapped, making Daryl flinch slightly, "No, that's bullshit! We both know it. I ain't gon' let you keep doin' this…"

"So what? You my chaperone now?! You know, jus' go! Jus' fuckin' go home Rick…!"

"You just don't get it do you?" Rick started and paced a couple more laps before turning back to Daryl to continue, "You are home Daryl! You an' Carl…you are home to me! So don't you dare think that I'm gon' turn my back on you, 'cause it ain't going t' happen alright?! You hear me?! It ain't fuckin' happening! You can't just…" Rick took a deep breath, letting it out in one big gush, trying to calm himself down, "Y'know, there was this girl in Carl's class a while back who was doin' exactly what you're doin' now. It'd been going on like that for a while, her telling everyone nothin' was wrong, and everyone pretending she was right. Till one her Mama came by the station looking to talk to someone about getting her daughter into a rehab centre. Turns out that she picked up a steak knife instead of a razer blade and damn near bleed to death on the kitchen floor. And I-I can't come home one day an' find you bleedin' out on the floor somewhere. I can't just sit around wondering if I'm goin' t' come over one day and just…and you'll be…"

Daryl saw Rick pawing at his eyes, trying to remove the moisture that had collected in them before it rolled down his cheeks. He felt like an asshole; his boyfriend was just here trying to help his worthless ass, and he was too fucked up to let him.

Daryl sighed and pushed himself up from the sofa. He wound his uninjured arm around Rick's hip and forced himself to look his boyfriend in the eyes.

"Ne'er meant for you t' find out like this."

Rick gently pushed the sleeve up on Daryl's free arm. The gash wasn't bleeding any longer, but it was deeper than Daryl had intended to make it. Daryl knew it would heal, that it would just fade into one more mark among many. Not all of them were self-inflicted. Daryl had several long lines that had been put there from being whipped with a willow branch when he was younger. They had been put there before his Pa had begun favoring the belt, and Daryl knew that the marks he had contributed to the jumble of lines looked regrettably similar.

"Y' always told me it was your Pa that did this." Rick said, examining the fresh wound.

"He did, just didn't put all of them there. It's fucked up, but I guess it just felt wrong without them there."

"You ever think that…do you think you can just let them heal? Let 'em fade instead of opening them again?" Rick asked, replacing Daryl's sleeve.

The shaky hope in Rick's plead was like a knife in the gut, and the look in his eyes was more painful than the drag of any blade could ever be.

"Ain't ever tried to."

Rick's face fell, and the look in his eyes…

"Would you?"

"Don' know but, I can try…I'll try for you Rick."

The nod before Rick leaned down to rest his forehead against Daryl's was barely perceivable, He felt the light brush of Rick's nose as his boyfriend tilted his head to press their lips together slowly. He opened his mouth to let Rick twine their tongues together sweetly before pulling back just barely enough to get the words out.

"I love you."

"I love y' too."