#shame that the horns of the first two turned out to be some low quality material they didnt meltttt...

[dailyanimal]

ponyyys🦄

[anarcho-mom-unist]

A survey of my ‘spotify wrapped’ from 2020

So, I listen to music between a lot of platforms, I hate how spotify operates as a company (and like in a way that’s pretty comparable to my loathing of the publishing/distribution sides of creative industries,) and I fucking refuse to ever pay for spotify askjdhd

However based on the aggregate of my 100 most-listened-to songs from a year of mostly hitting shuffle on an artist, album, or playlist on mobile, I do have some reflections and highlights. From that I made something of a survey of that list which includes my #1 and #100 song in addition to 1 song from each set of ten, for a total of 12 songs. These represent artists and genres I really got into this year, as well as longtime favorites that are worth talking about:

1. “Bad Trip” - Bad Trip (single) - Xena Elshazlii & Fady Haroun: "Bad Trip” is probably my favorite 2020 release, like if I had to pick one. The track has incredible energy, from the soft piano and vocalization intro to the verse with it’s sparse drums, subtle bass line, and slight strings to an absolute banger of a chorus with punchy staccato synths, reinforcement of the drum groove, and addition of an electric guitar. Elshazlii & Haroun pack a lot into 2-and-a-half minutes of music, and the variations in texture, mix, & music in each iteration of the song’s discrete sections are *chef’s kiss* ---verse 1 and chorus 1 are not identical to verse 2 and chorus 2, to say nothing of the short instrumental transition b/n the first chorus and second verse. Whenever I listen to “Bad Trip” I’m compelled to hit ‘repeat’ ---which is not a normal occurrence for me---and experience the builds and releases that this track brings once again. I don’t know much Arabic beyond the slang terms and exclamations that peppered my grandparents’ & parents’ speech when they spoke to each other in Armenian, but I’d be a liar if I didn’t tell y’all that “Bad Trip” is among the songs that make me want to learn the language so I can better sing along w/ them.

3. “City Lights” - Sailorwave II - Macross 82-99 ft. Kamei:  "City Lights” is the opener to Macross 82-99′s 2018 EP Sailorwave II, and it does that job immaculately. While I recommend the entire EP and an exploration of the Future Funk genre as a whole, you can’t go wrong with getting a taste of either through “City Lights.” The track bursts to life w/ synth brass chords and fast drums, quickly finding its way into punchy up-tempo horn line w/ light rhythm guitar and an active & bouncy bass line joining the mix. “City Lights” more or less goes from A to B to C and after the instrumental opening, the track shifts to a more under-voice horn line offering a countermelody to a mid-to-low register vocal line which is soon after joined by high voices punctuating the beginning of each phrase. The horns, guitars, and singers are cut from the track as the song enters its final section, a rap verse from featured artist Kamei accompanied with a slower-moving bass and light synth chords & wash in the middle register. Taken all together, “City Lights” ---like “Bad Trip” before it---packs a lot of music into a short duration & leaves me wanting more, which I especially long for when listening to the track outside of the context of the EP (which is what I usually do.)

12. “Turn to Hate” - Pony - Orville Peck: There’s a lot I could have done better in 2019, and “check out Orville Peck” is pretty high up there. “Turn to Hate” is a song that is at once heartrending, sincere, & catchy as all get out. Peck does one of my favorite possible things a musician can do on this track, and that’s make me Feel Things at a quick tempo. The vulnerable lyrics sung in outlaw country bass are supported by a fairly simple chord progression that acts as a solid foundation for a lot of texture ---moving guitar lines in the accompaniment part and middle-ground lines that move in and out of the melodic foreground. My moment of pure delight on the track is Peck’s laconic “yeehaw” that leads into a guitar solo that does so much work w/ its relative simplicity. “Turn to Hate” is an excellent song to get you into Orville Peck’s music if you aren’t already, if any of this piques your interest then I strongly recommend exploring his output of classic country meets 2010s indie meets camp gay sensibilities meets emotional realness. (This is as good a place as any to advise you to check out Yola and her album Walk Through Fire.)

27. “Water No Get Enemy” - Expensive Shit - Fela Kuti & Africa 70: I’m a newcomer to Afrobeat which is a fuckin’ shame because it contains a lot of the things I love most in music: rhythmic density and variety, jazz and “folk” idioms working together, a sense joy in the music-making with righteous anger at injustice in the music’s purpose, and a kick-ass horn section. "Water No Get Enemy” by Fela Kuti & Africa 70 is as good an intro as any to Afrobeat as it’s a delightful & excellent piece of music by the genre’s pioneer. It’s worth mentioning that in addition to its musical quality, Afrobeat is also deeply connected with Pan-Africanism and the resistance to the presence of European colonizers in Sub-Saharan Africa. To be frank, whatever I write can’t really do justice to this song or the musical movement from which it comes, go listen to it... a jam you can dance to while hating the British!? Immaculate. 

31. “Vardavar” - EP No. 1 - Tigran Hamasyan: The first of two songs from Armenian Jazz-fusion pianist/keyboardist and composer, Tigran Hamasyan, is a fast moving rhythmically dense piece of music named after the Armenian holiday of the same name ---Vardavar is a holiday of pre-Christian origin that Armenians celebrate in July in observance of the transfiguration of Christ, it involves throwing buckets of water on each other! Appropriate to its namesake, the running piano line through much of the track and the melodic lines are both exceptionally fluid and reminiscent of water. The rhythm of the tune follows a highly irregular subdivision of the bar that it’s best to feel along w/ as a listener ---seriously, unless you’re transcribing the tune or practicing/rehearsing it, don’t worry about counting---and get lost in with the flow of the music. Notable features of the track are the dense layering of instrumental/vocal lines on the melodic and countermelodic material, breakdowns & entire sections where the music takes to longer notes, “slower” feel & division of the bar, and a slower harmonic rhythm, unexpected unisons b/n instruments, and the transformation of Armenian folk melodies & texts between vocalized material and statements of the original material. There is no living musician whose work I love more than Tigran’s and if you’re not familiar with it “Vardavar” is an excellent place to start.

46. “Boyish” - Tropical Jinx - Little Big League:  "Boyish” is better known as one of the singles from Japanese Breakfast’s sophomore album Soft Sounds from Another Planet where Michelle Zauner presents the tune at a slow tempo with an unassuming instrumental accompaniment, wash of synths in the chorus, and low-register closing guitar solo which leaves the audience with a sense of melancholy & vulnerability. The original version from the 2014 LP of Zauner’s former band, Little Big League, offers a different take on the text: noisy guitars, driving rhythm, aggressive drumming on a rock groove, and a vocal delivery offering more of the rage of heartbreak than its sadness. Zauner refers to “Boyish” as an ‘ugly girl anthem’ and that intention is very apparent on this version of the track ---whereas the Japanese Breakfast take on it gave me a sense of being in the gender hinterlands b/n acceptable presentations of masculine and feminine. Both versions of the song are really worth seeking out for different reasons, and I chose to highlight Little Big League on this list because they’re a solid guitar-driven emo band that deserves appreciation in its own right.

50. “Dreaming” - Eat to the Beat - Blondie: What do I need to say about Blondie!? A CBGB act from the late-70′s that straddled the worlds of Punk and New Wave at their peak with a mix of an exceptional rhythm section (that bass!) diverse and compelling guitar work, and the captivating and ever-iconic vocals and presence of Debbie Harry. “Dreaming” might be my favorite song from Blondie and has had a special place in my heart since I first listened to them with my mom. It’s one of those songs that I’m tempted to call a perfect pop song: a joyful performance, lyrics that are at once simple and relatable ---whom amongst is unfamiliar with longing!?---music full of hooks & containing the kind of energy that just goes and takes you with it!

65. “Holy” - Shadow Theater - Tigran Hamasyan: The second entry from Tigran Hamasyan comes from his 2013 album Shadow Theater ---an excellent work as a whole---and is one of the slower, more spacious, and simpler tracks from it. “Holy” is a setting of the Armenian liturgical piece “Soorp Soorp” which is frequently used in the celebration of the Eucharist (even in the Armenian Protestant church I grew up in) and it’s achingly beautiful. There’s always something to be said about a musician capable of complex and virtuosic feats on their instrument doing something very simply and very well, and that’s what the entire ensemble brings ---including frequent collaborator Areni Agbabian who provides the vocals. Even as the texture thickens in the middle of the song, the middle ground & harmonic support coming from strings and bassoon (Ben Wendel) is simple, under-voice, and reverent. “Holy” is the kind of piece of music that offers an encounter with God ---even if one would never otherwise believe in something beyond the material; even just for a moment.

77. “The Day the World Turn Day-Glo” - Germ Free Adolescents - X-Ray Spex: X-Ray Spex is one of those bands I’ve listened to before on a recommendation I received ages ago but never really followed up on beyond the one song sent my way. “...Day-Glo” is a fuckin’ banger of song that just bursts with this wonderful energy from the jump & showcases the best qualities of X-Ray Spex’s sound: driving guitars, wild saxophone lines, and chaotically charismatic lead vocals from singer Poly Styrene. X-Ray Spex have an output that is wild and fun as hell to explore, and “...Day-Glo” is an excellent place to start ---you’d also do well to check out their more notable song “Oh Bondage, Up Yours!” 

84. “Marquee Moon” - Marquee Moon - Television: Listen, you don’t need to read some internet lesbian with a music degree go off about Television ---one of the most musically interesting acts to come out of CBGB and one of many definitive proofs that Punk is not a label that people should fucking fight about having a true definition of. Clear 11 minutes in your day, find a pair of headphones so you can experience the use of stereo in the recording and enjoy each element of the song, especially with regards to Tom Verlaine and Richard Lloyd’s interlocking guitar lines.

96. “Leylum” - Kokorec - Collectif Medz Bazaar & Sevana Tchak: Armenian folk music, baby!! Collectif Medz Bazaar offer a lively and joyful rendition of the classic folk song “Leylum” which has been burned in my mind from church and community gatherings ---the fun ones with music and all of your aunties dancing in a circle and such. Listen to this song and DM me if you aren’t dancing along of joining in on the response parts as best you can. I think this particular recording offers a nice entry point into an exploration of Armenian music, the instrumentation hits a lot of the staples of Armenian folk ensembles ---duduks, dohl, dumbek, clarinet, shvi, etc.---and the song itself is an up tempo dance tune which I find to be easier to start with than ballads or liturgical music.

100. “Electrastar” - Paradize - Indochine: Back in the hazy past of 2017, one of my friends from undergrad and I were hanging out and playing music for each other. In a departure from his usual library of French Baroque music, he played a song by French New Wave band, Indochine. That song was “Electrastar” which is a consistent favorite of mine, my favorite song from its album ---Paradize, which is already a solid record---and a great entry point into the musical output of a band which has been active for about 40 years. "Electrastar” features driving rhythm guitar, pulsing synth under the texture, eminently catchy chorus and post-chorus, and a very care-full and effective approach to the mix. Also, not for nothing but that album cover is 👀

Survey of 2020 Listening

[gwdiscotech]

Mudbox and Kaiju

What is Mudbox:

Mudbox is a software based around digital 3D sculpting and painting developed by Autodesk, it is one of the largest and most common sculpting tools in the industry along with its competitor Zbrush.

Sculpting Examples:

Z Brush -

Mudbox -

Starting in Mudbox:

Upon opening mudbox, you’re given a variety of options, the tabs on the left are short videos that instruct you on how to use the software, in the middle are some preset models which can be used as a starting point and on the right are recent files which you’ve worked on.

Once in the software itself, the UI layout differs from its Modelling counterpart a little, but thankfully the tools are rather easy to find and the scene navigation works the same way.

In the top right is where all of your outline is kept, this displays the objects within the scene and object's sculpt and paint layers.

Much like photoshop or gimp, you can create layers for sculpting objects, this is a good nondestructive method of sculpting that allows you to modify an object without completely ruining what you've done beforehand. For example, on my own kaiju, I had a layer for the head's base shape, a layer where I refined that shape, a layer of the eye sockets, for skin detail and so on.

You are also able to increase the subdivision level of your layers, and you'll need to due to the base objects having rather low polygons. It's best to leave the base object at its default polygon count and just subdivide the layers.

While sculpting you are generating a displacement map, which is a texture that manipulates the position of object's polygons. This essentially means you arent actually changing the shape of the object, because as soon as you take off that displacement map, the object turns back its default state. This technique allows you to create different LODs and actually gives you the power to show a 8 million polygon object on a mesh that only possesses 500 polygons which helps drastically with performance.

Kaiju Research:

Kaiju, from Japanese “strange beasts” are giant monsters in Japanese culture that are often depicted attacking major cities, engaging the military or battling other kaiju. Possibly the most famous kaiju is Godzilla and is the first kaiju film. Godzilla is a great example of the somewhat metaphorical nature of Kaiju, for example Godzilla serves as a metaphor for nuclear weapons and the fear’s of post-war Japan after the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, as well as the Lucky Dragon 5 incident. Other prominent examples of Kaiju include Rodan, Mothra, King Ghidorah and Gamera.

The Japanese word kaiju originally referred to monsters and creatures from ancient Japanese legends, the term earlier appeared in the Chinese “Classic of Mountains and Seas.” Once Japan was opened to foreign relations after the end of sakoku, the word kaiju came to be used to express concepts from paleontology and legendary creatures around the world. For example, in 1908 it was suggested that the extinct Ceratosaurus was alive in Alaska, and this was referred to as a kaiju. Despite this there are no traditional depictions  of kaiju or kaiju-like creatures in Japanese folklore; but rather the origins of kaiju are found in film.

Due to Kaiju character’s being considered giant science fiction and fantasy creatures, their appearance is usually very alien and unlike anything found on earth. Many kaiju share a few physical traits, such as leathery furless skin, multiple eyes and many arms and legs. Their behaviour can also be depicted as antagonistic, protagonistic, or even as neutral force of nature.

There are a few other terms related to kaiju, such as diakaiju which literally translates to “large kaiju” or “great kaiju” and refers to the larger monsters, though the exact distinction is debated. Godzilla, Rodan and Mothra are referred to as the san daikiju, the three great kaiju.

Another term within the kaiju sphere is kaijin, literally translating to “monster man” or “mystery man” and is the term used for humanoid kaiju.

Examples of Kaiju:

Sculpting Kaiju:

A sphere is usually the best shape to start with when you're sculpting an organic shape since it helps in avoiding a boxy shape, but a sphere too round for a kaiju head, so i used the scale tool to turn it into an oval shape then rotated it slightly so it wasn’t perfectly straight along the X axis.

Using the sculpting brush I blocked out the general shape of the head, mostly the ridges above the eyes and along the cheeks, I also used the version of the sculpting tool that takes away (Hold Ctrl while using the sculpting tool) to give a more dramatic depression where the eyes would sit. During this process I used the mirror option to keep the head symmetrical.

I decided to use the scrape tool to refine the head’s shape, especially around the ridges. I added a sphere to the scene which would represent the creature’s eyes, I then used the sculpt tool to model the eye socket and eyelids around the sphere.

In Mudbox, there is a texture/stamp option which uses a heightmap to dictate the shape of the brushes. There are variety of different stamps that come with Mudbox, I used a few of the scale stamps to make the creature’s skin less smooth and hopefully more life like and organic.

I decided to add horns to the creature, I did this by adding another sphere to the sphere which I sculpted to a point then copied it and added to the creature. I found that I liked how the lower horns look, but didn’t particularly like the two higher ones appeared, so I removed them.

Finally I added the last small details such as the mouth and a few scars, for this I used the knife tool which makes small cuts into the mesh.

I’m still debating whether or not I want the creature to have a mouth, since it has a rather mystical quality when it doesn’t have one.

Overall, I'm very happy with the outcome I got, though it's a shame that I didnt model the jaw as a separate object that could be animated; I may have to try and remove the jaw and make it possible to be animated.

[hezroudhiaga]

Burden to Bare

Hezrou awoke early in the morning hours and begun to stretch along the couch like a typical kitten waking from a good nap. He paused when his hand had shoved some foreign object that was left on the couch. Looking down at it he saw a familiar letter. The paper was the same quality as the invitation to the Syndicate.

Did Yukihana leave this here for him? Strange. He figured she'd of woken him up to something so important as to a letter from the Syndicate. Or at least set it on the table for him later.

Sitting up slowly he yawned and rubbed his ear as he flipped the letter in a claw to look it over before peeling it open carefully, using his sharp nail to cut it open easily. Pulling the letter out he looked down as photos fell into his lap from the partially opened letter. Blinking a moment he picked the photos up that lied face down and flipped them over.

A hard chill shot through his spine and his blood ran cold.

These photos looked amateur. All of them of Yukihana doing regular things from leaving the house to walking around the Goblet. Anger boiled into him. Who the hell would be stalking Yukihana!? He prayed that whatever this letter was, it was a mission to kill whomever it was that took these creepy photos. He set the photos back into his lap and opened the letter, reading it over.

Greetings, my feline friend. I need your skill. This special mission requires you to seek out a former Syndicate member. A former Unseen that has since gone AWOL and dropped all communications with me and my inner circle.

Lately, Red Dragons are turning up dead and piked onto wooden pillars on display in Ul'Dah, Limsa Lominsa and New Gridania with a note stabbed into their chests reading, "The Truth!". Authorities are already investigating the situation and to the meaning of the message, but I have a special order just for you. I need you to find this Unseen and eliminate them. For the better of our cause and revolution we cannot have such a blight in our operations. Do us proud, friend.

I also would like to inform you that lately I had been feeling under the weather. Do not fret, it is taken care of thanks to our lovely mender, Yukihana. I had to admit...I can see why you like hanging around her. She's so beautiful up close. So fragile. I feel this mission is perfect for you knowing that such an attractive Rein is at risk.

...just think. It seems your target is looking to kill our members. It would be a shame if Yukihana was one of them. Let’s stop this vigilante before it’s too late.

The letter ended abruptly and that last section only seemed to boil Hezrou's blood further. He couldn't figure out why, but hearing Akuma seem to...hit on Yukihana...Just set him off. Putting the letter and photos down on the table he got up and headed to the bedroom to get himself ready.

He had a lot of ground to cover and knew it could take a long time just to find his target. But given he was already in Ul'Dah and that the photos were in that region, it was a good place to start. The whole city was seeming tense from recent events of what was described by the letter. Guards were piled high in the more public areas as well on high alert to any suspicious activities. His eyes scanned about as he walked around, but was mindful not to look too off with his movements to not draw unwanted attention to himself. The good thing about Ul'Dah, from his knowledge as an Eorzean, was that it was a place of merchants. Anyone would talk about anything if given enough Gil. And he had plenty to use.

He paid a good few ranging from peasants to high class merchants for any information they might know of the murders that took place. Many mentioned a small cloaked Au Ra was seen stalking about the city late at night near those bodies. They weren't sure if it was because of them that the bodies were there or not but did find it odd that such a 'beast', as they called them, would be loitering about their streets. Many didn't like them, much to Hezrou's surprise. One managed to see this Au Ra and claim it to be female. He assumed as such, given the sheer size some of the males he'd seen. He never saw a female more than a few inches under him at best.

So an Au Ra was seen here. Hezrou frowned a bit at this thought. That meant it was definitely connected to the Syndicate. Their group had many of that race. Akuma even mentioned many times about helping his race in Doma and Kugane. And most Au Ra were more common in the other two cities given their friendlier nature than the merchant and Gil hungry Ul'Dahans. The final merchant he paid said he saw that very Au Ra pass by not too long ago. Talked about dark horns and a dark complexion. Long black hair and glowing rings around their eyes. Perfect! This was his target, he felt it!

Thanking the merchant, he headed off in the direction he was offered and sure enough he found her sitting alone at a table. She had her hood down so she stuck out like a sore thumb to be an Au Ra. He blended in easily as a patron at the bar and kept a very, very close eye on her. For hours he waited, watching her just sit there and do her own thing. It was close to closing time when she was ushered out by the bartenders and forced to leave along with everyone else and before they would get to Hezrou he was already making his way for the door.

As they walked, the Miqo'te kept a distance with her but still attempted to hide himself to avoid her suspicions. But she didn't care about any of that. She knew he was sent to her. An Unseen just knew.

"You know, you made it obvious when you didn't buy drinks." She said rather loudly. The Miqo'te didn't answer, but did see the ring of her glowing eyes as she looked over her shoulder at him. "Are you here about the bodies?"

"I am..." Hezrou answered. Strange. She wasn't hostile upon recognizing him? Surely if she was an MIA member of the Syndicate she would of been more guarded than this. Something wasn't right here. But then again, nothing felt right anymore. Even when he trusted someone he thought was innocent they were lying. She was lying, too, he thought. Just like that disgusting old Keeper of the Moon that had lied to him back at the Carnival and gotten hundreds slain for his stupid ideals of family over a Gem of Doma. She smiled a bit and shrugged. "I've been looking into it myself. Not quite sure what it all means but...I hear there's more in Limsa. I already found some in Gridania and here."

"Then let's go to Limsa together." Hezrou suggested. "Sounds like the plan I was going for!" She laughed. "See, I knew you rookies were alright!" She gestured for him to follow before beginning a jog and Hezrou was right behind her. He brought his hand to his sword, as if to draw it and even pulled the blade just a tad but...no. He clicked it back into it's sheath. He wanted to see where this went.

The trip across by airship was quiet. Stagnant. Hezrou felt on edge as he watched her but didn't find a way to kill her yet. Not yet, anyway. Not in a public and small place so high up that he'd die with them. He had to make this a quick kill but not in public. Curiosity had him on why she was acting like this. So...open to him as a member. They exchanged brief chats about what drew them to join Akuma's cause. Hers was that she had nothing else left. Her tribe was gone in the Steeps long ago, and Akuma was there to bring her in. But...something on her face showed she begun to feel unease about taking about Akuma.

"Hey, rookie, you're new and all...But watch out for Akuma." She said quietly as they left the airship with her leading the way and him right behind her. "Why is that?" Hezrou asked almost as if he was surprised to hear such a thing. She looked forward, her guard clearly dropping around him as they walked slowly. It was the dead of night by now and nobody was around once they got deeper into the city above the seas. "His 'revolution'...It's not what he makes it out to be. I was looking into his private life and I found...things. Horrible things. He always talks about saving our race but..." She stopped halfway across a crossing. Either side of them was a deadly drop to the rocks and raging sea below. "In La Noscea, there is a mass graveyard of Rein corpses. You'd think it was just raiders or pirates that hatred for our kind like when we first came here and no one would shelter us when we fled Doma from the Empire...But it's far more cruel and pointless than that."

Hezrou quietly listened, but their stop at the bridge made him nervous. They were alone and a few steps from death. He felt this was just to distract him in a deeper meaning of thought through pointless lectures of their leader but he was lying to say he wasn't curious. She left herself wide open and couldn't understand for the life of him how a murderer of their own organization could just...do this. Taking this moment he quietly drew his sword in a skilled silence only practice and meditation could allow while her back was completely turned. It would be quick. But a slow death for those she had killed against the Syndicate. Against Akuma. For risking Yuki's life.

He rushed forward and went for a quick stab at her back but the wind of his blade alerted her. Drawing her daggers she twisted and deflected his blade. He avoided the second blade from crashing down by drawing the blade back to block it. "What the hell are you doing?!" She yelled in shock and anger. "Doing my duty!" Hezrou hissed and shoved her back towards the edge. She staggered and teetered at the edge a moment before regaining her balance at the edge with a sigh of relief. But it was short lived as Hezrou followed it with a thrust again at her chest.

Ducking low from the blade she kicked her leg out to trip him but only managed to knock one leg out before he flipped back onto a hand, his sword outward to avoid cutting himself and cartwheeling back a short distance to regain his footing. "Not bad, rookie." She growled. "So you're the murderer?"

"Me? Hah. Nice try." Hezrou jeered back. "Stop playing me a fool. I was sent here to kill you for going AWOL and slaughtering our members. Now hold still and let me kill you! I won't let you escape alive!" He rushed forward and she brought her blades up to defend herself. There was a flurry of attacks from both of them as they tried to block and strike one another, their cold steel clashing and sparking into the dark, salty air about them. "You idiot!" She yelled among the clashes. "He's playing you a fool! All of us are!" She got distracted in her words and cried out in pain as the blade cut deep into her arm and held the wound tightly as she leaped back. "Akuma is a monster!"

"As we all are." Hezrou growled back. He had nothing left to say to her. She was backed into a corner now and he had the upper hand now. "I am not the murderer! Why would Akuma send someone to-" She froze. As if realizing something. "O-Oh..." She said with a trembling voice, almost as if she was terrified, yet nearly bursting into laughter. "That's what it was for. Wasn't it?" She begun to laugh as tears filled her eyes. "So the jester comes to kill the fool, eh? Fine!" She suddenly rushed Hezrou with surprising speed and her injured arm abandoned as she begun to slash at his blade in quick succession. It was so quick Hezrou almost couldn't see it. He begun to back up to keep pace with her but she was suddenly overwhelmingly fast! He didn't get what came over her but looking into her eyes, her face. She wasn't angry or vengeful. No. She looked like a trapped animal. Like she was truly fighting for her life here. Her eyes were filled with pain, hurt...Hezrou didn't get it. He had no time to. Not when his own life was now at risk.

All it took was a change of pace. A quick passing second for one mistake. Everything felt like it had begun to slowly go into slow motion. Hezrou's ears high and his tail becoming steady. He was use to this. This sort of pressure. This adrenaline of being so close to death's door from an attacker yet so alive. He'd missed this.

He wasn't a Samurai first. No...not at all. He had armor. A shield and sword, too. He was the one who ran headfirst into a tight battle and slayed countless beasts and men alike for Gil. For her. The wife he never deserved to have. She'd all but forgotten him now with her ill memory and he had abandoned her to live out her life as what she wished. Without him. He tried to jog her memory but it failed to spark the love she use to have for him as he loved her. So he was forced to snuff the flame. Forced himself to this life to avoid it. Forced the shield and sword behind him with the memories of her. But at this moment, this very second...It came back. The will to live. The will to fight and the will to win. He thought of his life family. The Syndicate. Yukihana...The one person he had begun to trust here. The very person that motivated him to fight now and protect her.

Closing his eyes, he let his body move on it's own, like instinct, as he leaned back from a slash that would have slashed his throat in that very moment. He danced around her slashes like he was dancing, slashing her blades away from time to time as he dodged. But not once did he open his eyes. He didn't have to. Her movements were so sluggish now. So forced and angry. He could hear the blade, her steps, the quick breaths she took and grunts of her attacks. It was enough for him to sense her so clearly and relying on sight wasn't always the answer. His ears twitched as the blade of her daggers came again and he twisted the sword ever so slightly to parry the attack and deliver a swift kick to her stomach that made her stagger.

The break in her charge made him see his opening and his eyes shot open to her. "This ends!" He hissed and rushed forward, thrusting the sword through her chest. A pained cry escaped her as she coughed up blood and her daggers fell from her hands as she gripped the blade through her with a gasp. One of the blades had clanged and tipped over the edge in the void of the ocean. She looked shocked at first, but then gave him a soft, bloody smile. "So...you're his after all. He's already swayed you by his words alone?" She breathed softly. He twisted the blade to bring up another cry and she begun to laugh afterwards. Hezrou looked a mixture of puzzled and shocked that she was laughing so suddenly. She reached out with a bloody hand to touch his face and he froze, not moving an inch. She brushed her thumb against his cheek, smearing blood against the tattoos on his face. What she said next he knew he'd never be able to get out of his head.

"Oh...It hurts more to hold grudges than to forgive. The anger we hold inside damages us, nobody else. Don't...be a prisoner of yourself. La Noscea...go there...Learn...the truth..." The light in her eyes faded, along with the ring around them as her life slipped from her. The smile remained, however, as she lost her footing as the weight of her body was too much as the life left her body and she slid off his blade and into the void. Her bloody hand dragging down his face as she had leaned back and fell.

Hezrou stood there, the blade still where it was and dripping blood as he watched her fall. Why...? Why was this so easy? What did she mean by this? Shaking his head, he looked around before he took off running to avoid any guards that could patrol any minute. Or anyone for that matter, and left Limsa entirely.

He didn't stop running...No, not until the only thing surrounding him was the wilds and beasts. La Noscea. A mass graveyard? He had to investigate it. See if it was true. It wasn't far from where he was. It didn't take him long at all to look around the area and find what he was looking for. There was a cliff side that was leading to what looked like a dead end near the beach and he was horrified to see nothing but bones piled on each other like they had been dumped there over time. Hidden so nicely in a corner of the area that there was no reason someone would look there. But he would...He turned every rock and mountain to find this place by morning and for what? He wasn't satisfied. No, horrified, was a better word for it. He knew what they were...All Au Ra. The skulls had the all-too-familiar horns on them in various shapes and sizes. Men, women and children alike. It was then he realized. Suddenly the weight of what he had done felt heavy on his chest. His bloody blade fell from his hand into the grass with a soft clang as he fell to his knees slowly. His eyes wide as he stared off toward the rising sun over the seas of La Noscea.

"Was...she telling the truth?..."