#shaking out to be one of the most difficult to watch episodes though and there’s already been several of those

[phannibal]

they need to come up with code words for when they’re fucking cloned or body swapped or whatever like girl this has happened at least five times at this point

[respectthepetty]

What is tradition?

I finally watched this week's episodes of The Eighth Sense and

Episode six was NOT a dream

Ji Hyun is alive but whatever happened is serious

This is a giant "fuck you" to tradition

First, Ji Hyun brings light to Jae Won's dark world. Jae Won is in a very dark place (and head space) after the confrontation with his dad and the camera breaking, so he reaches out to the light.

Ji Hyun is at his peak brightest because Jae Won is about to experience the darkest period of his life . . . again

Jae Won is also in a haze due to his mental state. The colors become less ethereal as their time together continues during the trip because Jae Won is becoming more grounded.

Next, since episode six is not a dream, that means something did happen to Ji Hyun, and it's serious.

Because it needs to be serious.

Someone already compared Jae Won to Team from Between Us. They share the same trauma. They share the same burden. They share the same mentality. Team loved Win but was too afraid to say it. He was too afraid to lose someone he loved like before. He was too afraid to push because the last time he pushed, there were fatal consequences.

Jae Won specifically voices this last concern. His brother died in front of him, and much like Team, I'm sure it is partially due to a rash decision Jae Won made, much like this one:

Someone pointed out that the back of their wetsuits read "RASH" and this entire beach trip was a rash decision by Jae Won.

If Jae Won feels responsible for his brother's death, he will definitely feel responsible for whatever happens to Ji Hyun, and because of that he will resort back to his old self even more.

Jae Won was an overachiever. The hospital staff thought he was older because he was mature and put together. He did exactly what his parents wanted. He did what society expected. He dated a girl. He befriended the masculine men. He did all of that, but lately, he has been rebellious. He's been drinking. He broke up with the girl. He is distancing himself from his friend(s). He doesn't want to go into business.

But this incident with Ji Hyun will put him back on the straight and narrow. It will scare him and shake him to his core because it is a reminder of what could happen when he doesn't stay in line - he could lose the one he loves the most. So to protect his heart and Ji Hyun, he will pull back, date the girl, hang out with his friends, and do what his parents ask. He will follow tradition.

But the problem with tradition is it's really just history repeating itself again, and again, and again.

The show is about the troubles with tradition. Tae Hyung is hellbent on keeping tradition alive. He wanted the freshmen to drink until they passed out on the beach trip. He wants them to cater to him. He is, at his very core, a traditionalist even though it has been pointed out several times how tradition hurt him. Yoon Won mentions every time how Tae Hyung was essentially bullied and hazed by his seniors, but instead of wanting to change for the better, Tae Hyung wants to continue the cycle of pain.

Ae Ri refuses to drink anymore at the beach. She rebukes traditional mindsets and gender roles. She speaks casually with the seniors and even when Yoon Won comments that the freshmen need to use formalities with the seniors, Ae Ri scoffs. She doesn't respect Tae Hyung and won't simply because he is a senior.

Tae Hyung needs tradition because it is predictable and structured. Ae Ri hates tradition because it is confining and restrictive.

Jae Won told his therapist that life after the military has been difficult. This is a common feeling. Military life is structured. Civilian life is full of choices. Military service is riddled with tradition. Jae Won is lost without the structure of tradition. He wants to break free, but the way he has been handling it (drinking, partying, not applying for jobs) is an extreme. Instead of one thing holding power over him, he is giving up power to anything and everything just so he doesn't have to make any decisions because when he does, people get hurt.

Jae Won wears a mask with everyone, but he was beginning to lean on Ji Hyun in hopes that Ji Hyun could make those decisions for him. Ji Hyun is the light in Jae Won's dark world, so why couldn't Ji Hyun just be Jae Won's entire world?

In the bar, Jae Won got upset at Tae Hyung but Ji Hyun was there to calm him down, both in the first episode and the fifth. But we saw in the trailer that Jae Won will hit Tae Hyung in the classroom because Ji Hyun won't be there to calm him down since Jae Won pushed Ji Hyun away after the incident.

Jae Won must take control of his own life instead of living in these extremes. He needs to find a balance within himself. He needs to define who he wants to be without depending on others to do it for him.

The accident with Ji Hyun is going to push Jae Won back into his comfort zone, so he will be alone again, pretending with everyone and masking his true self.

But he will realize his comfort zone is his hell, and HE is the only one who can rescue himself from it. Ji Hyun can't be around while Jae Won figures out who he needs to be. He can't keep repeating the same mistakes.

Because

Jae Won's biggest problem is himself

And

Jae Won's only solution is himself.

He must be his own light.

Sidenote: I'm gonna marry this queen.

I have an answer for you @wen-kexing-apologist. I have thoughts for you @waitmyturtles and @dribs-and-drabbles. I agree with you @bengiyo

[demonslayedher]

Did my rewatch with a friend, some observations either from me or both of us:

--Gotouge was deep in the "bean" period at this point in the manga, drawing especially Tanjiro's face in lumpy simple shapes on a regular basis. We suspect that in this season so far, Tanjiro's face has spent most of its screen time in silly mode as opposed to normal mode.

--Before we watched, I had her guess what she thought the vibe might be for the ending theme. "I don't know, foreshadowing all their deaths or something?" GIRL, HOW DARE YOU GUESS THAT RIGHT. Also, I'm so glad the full version of "Tokoshie" is already out because it's going to be super difficult but I can't wait to give it a shot at karaoke.

--We chatted afterward about Ufotable's choices. I feel like they've upped their show-offy game in this season (thicker lines, extended scenes, varied BGM and careful sound design, slow and deliberate filler, and lighting, lighting, lighting, lighting!), which might be somewhat to compensate for the slower story pace. It's simply reality that a lot of the hype for KnY has slowed (the Mugen Ressha era levels were unsustainable, of course, that was a phenomenon), and I know many people have gotten tired of it. But frankly, those people are not Ufotable's audience now; we the captives who love spending time with these characters are the target audience, and when things pick up again, those who took a break will come back and binge these seasons. I'm sad to see some hype die away, but I have no worries about the hype train totally dying down.

--And the love and care thrown into this production shows that they have every intention of giving the final arcs the care they'll require <3

--but also AOI!!! I loved the subtle restraint of that filler. It wasn't overdone, and it's so rare to see Tanjiro and Aoi have a moment together, and to see both how Aoi has relaxed in his presence and how she remains formal. That irony and layered way of Tanjiro having no idea how he's helped her, and Aoi talking about herself in wanting to be left alone, but still finding a way to show that she cares about this person Tanjiro is talking about even though she has no idea who it is? Wonderfuuuullllll

--How softly Shinobu speaks to Kanao!!!!! The way Shinobu sits in shadow but Kanao is within reach of the sunlight!!!! (They put Kanao's hair on the same side as usual instead of matching the way the manga did this scene!)

--The glimpse in Tamayo's memories of Yoriichi encountering Muzan, the sound of his earrings tied with the sound of Tanjiro's earrings!!

--The same sort of layering in the ending theme!!

--YUSHIRO SCREAMING DESCENT

--Giyuu's face being cut out of view when he says he's not the Water Pillar

--EVERY BIT OF GIYUU AND TANJIRO INTERACTION, I'm sure Hanae Natsuki had so much fun being thoroughly obnoxious

--EVERY BIT OF GIYUU AND SABITO INTERACTION

--There is no mistaking Murata and I love that

--LITTLE GIYUU'S EEEEEEYYYYYYYYEEEEESSSS

--The height difference between Tanjiro and Giyuu in the Taisho Secrets

--Tanjiro was the one being overbearing and clingy in the episode and now in the Taisho Secrets we've got Giyuu thoroughly in "Kamado Tanjiro is my friend" mode, like "...Come eat more soba with me. Oh. Then. Come eat shake daikon with me. Are you coming? You're coming! Are you done yet? I'm staring at you from the side of the screen. I'm waiting. Come on. Hang out with me."

--I was gonna say the Taisho Secrets were obvious this time, but my friend (who has read the manga and just watched this episode with me) said, "oh, I didn't know that side was from his sister!" So... alright, good call, then, Ufotable.

--Ok but as Tanjiro is first showering Giyuu with kindness (and indeed, sitting so much in Giyuu's personal space), I was thinking about Giyuu's smile in the Taisho Secrets (shake daikon, yay~), and my friend said, "You know what this is making me think of? That panel at the end of the manga when..." --when he's smiling, I thought-- "...he thinks Tanjiro is dead." NO STOP WHY DID YOU DO THAT ME

--Love that little addition of Tanjiro cheerfully pointing out how quiet it's been, and "no! No demons here!" TANJIRO, YOU SHOULD BE VERY, VERY WORRIED ABOUT WHAT THIS MEANS

--"Now want about Tomioka-san" "What's Kocho doing?" UFOTABLE STOP THE DOOMED GIYUSHINO HURTS

--WHAT A CLIP TO END ON AND PLUNGE US INTO THAT ENDING THEME

--rude

[portraitofcas]

Ellie Williams x BPD! Reader? 🙏 Forever appreciative! <3

okay pretty please tell me if anything is wrong or offensive because im going based off of research. 🤕

i imagine this scenario with jackson!ellie lowk! i think that even though she didn’t understand very much about bpd, she’d try. sometimes you’ll find her with some random big ass book that she’d borrowed from somewhere and she’s writing down some small notes; just basic stuff and whatnot.

you and her had been in somewhat of an odd on-and-off kinda relationship for a while now, and she would always wait for you. she’s right back where she was standing when you’d made a decision to dump her for a reason you were too angry to tell her about. your judgement was clouded whenever this happened, and even if she wanted to talk to you about it, she knew it wouldn’t be a walk in the park. it would be hard, she knew that.

when you’d first told ellie you were into her, you explained how it could be ‘difficult’, yet she wasn’t backing down from the challenge. even when you lash out at her or while on patrol, you’d run off on a whim or throw yourself into danger without a second thought, she was always there to catch you. she knew that you hated feeling helpless with her but in your heart, you understood that she was the only one who would be there to catch you when you fell.

sometimes when you were disassociating with yourself horribly, she brings you over to her house where you stay up all night, watching joels old vhs tapes, playing video games and reading comics. ellie stays up for most of the night to ensure that you’d be okay. she was also precautious enough to put away anything you could hurt yourself with. you had woken up at, maybe three pm when a feeling of existential dread washed over you. voices clamored in your head, telling you that you didn’t deserve her or that you weren’t worthy of her companionship.

your body seemed to move on its own, but you were frantic and searching. you throw the blankets off of your body to ransack her bathroom for anything. even her closet. but you find nothing.

obviously, the banging, dropping, thumping and constant creaking of the floorboards alerts ellie before she realizes you’re having those thoughts again. she’s tired but she’s rushing over to you.

“what’re you doing up so late, hm?” she approaches you calmly. “so now you hide all your shit from me? what, you can’t trust me or something?” you accused her angrily. she shakes her head. “that’s not it.” “fuck you, ellie! you obviously don’t trust me!” you shouted at her. the words hurt, but she deduced it to nothing more than an episode. she approached you slowly, embracing you softly. you two are both sat on the cool tile of her kitchen floor. she let you say whatever you needed to get out of your system until the early hours of the morning. you were still going on, and she was fast asleep. she has a damn good grip on you.

[mossy-green-aka-ferrythem]

Just watched Episode 14, the most recent episode of Dungeon Meshi, and damn, things are getting so interesting!

Now that other characters are being introduced, so many more things come to light! Like how characters fundamentally both understand and misunderstand each other! The culture of the people in this world and how it mirrors the real world! (For example, "Eastern Folk" being treated as a hegemony, and being hit with microaggressions from even people they are close to, similar to many real world cases where someone isn't exactly a bad person, they just have some misunderstandings and underlying biases that they really must acknowledge and shake, but the problem is they tend to get defensive upon being called out for the possibility that they may be engaging in some form of bigotry)

Also, god, the narrative is gonna get kind of hard to follow, because it really does feel like everyone's converging on the Dungeon now, and we're going to see what it means to all these different people, though I feel as though Laios and his party are by design, special, in that Laios intimately wishes to understand and care for monsters, compared to others, like how Kabru doesn't understand the anatomy or the function of them, he merely sees them as difficult obstacles that he is contractually obligated to clear. That and his rather concerning intimate understanding of how to kill a human being... Kabru concerns me... I don't know enough about him, but he seems like the kind of person who, once he gets an idea of something in his head, will follow through with it recklessly.

Really, this is probably one of the best fantasy works I've ever experienced, plain and simple. It's peak. Also, man... I gotta say, if there's one thing that I feel is conveyed through the truly powerful new intro and outro, it's that one of this narrative's main and most powerful themes is unity... about how the joy of feasting leads to many other fundamental joys of being alive... the way we as human beings receive both pleasure and meaning through food... it's just absolutely breathtaking, and hits so deep.

[wherethefireliliesgrow]

Handle It

Son Chaeyoung x reader

GENRE: angst, slight fluff

TAGS: idol, heartbreak

TYPE: Request, Drabble

Slightly out of breath after your performance, you rushed off the stage with your fellow members, making your way down the long hallways toward your designated lounge. Your legs felt shaky and weak from a combination of exhaustion and a lack of food.

It was the second week of your promotions, and despite the initial excitement of finally being able to release new music to your fans, you were feeling drained both physically and mentally.

Even though AESPA had built up a sizable audience before your official debut, and you had thousands of fans cheering you on during each promotion stage, you couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of loneliness. This comeback was notably different - it was the first one without Chaeyoung. Memories of her sneaking into your practice rooms for a quick kiss of good luck or her comforting hugs waiting for you in bed after long months of promotions haunted you.

Not even the enthusiastic smiles of MYs, your loyal fans,  in the audience could fill the aching void in your heart.

"Are you okay?" Minjeong's soft murmur reached your ears, and her comforting hand gently squeezed yours as you walked down the hallway with the other girls.

You shook your head, unable to find the words to express the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you. The lump in your throat seemed insurmountable, and it took all your strength to keep from breaking down.

Minjeong, always perceptive, noticed the exhaustion in your eyes and wrapped her arms around your waist, leading you forward with a gentle but firm touch.

As your roommate, she had been witness to the quiet tears that flowed from your bed late at night and had observed how you hardly touched your food. She understood the pain you were going through after your difficult breakup with Chaeyoung, but she struggled to find a way to help you open up about it. Nevertheless, she was unwavering in her determination to be there for you, offering her support when you needed it most. After all, you were not just friends; you were best friends who had supported each other through countless heartbreaks and the pressures of the idol life.

The hallways were cramped and noisy, filled with idols and backstage workers rushing in various directions to their designated spots. The bright lights and loud commotion were giving you a pounding headache, and all you wanted was to return to your dorm and sleep for the rest of the week.

"Eunchae!" Jimin and Yizhuo suddenly exclaimed from up ahead, waving excitedly to the youngest member of Le Sserafim.

"Unnie!" Eunchae giggled in response, equally thrilled. "I saw the performance! You guys were amazing!"

Eunchae was followed by a filming crew, apparently working on the next episode of Star Diary. Your group had a close relationship with the younger girl, especially Jimin and Yizhuo, who had appeared in one of her episodes before.

Eagerly bouncing over to give all of you a hug, Eunchae grinned and gestured to two figures within her filming crew. "I'm filming with TWICE today!"

Glancing over her shoulder, you spotted the person you had been dreading to see the most: Chaeyoung. She looked as beautiful as ever, with her messy blonde hair and bangs falling into her eyes. She was wearing a simple rock-band t-shirt and black jeans, proudly displaying her tattoos. You remembered lying in bed, tracing over those tattoos with your fingertips while you watched her compose one song after another. 

Standing next to her was Jeongyeon, and by the looks Jeongyeon was giving you, it was clear she knew about the misunderstanding between you and Chaeyoung. Even more evident was the fact that Jeongyeon was on Chaeyoung's side.

"Annyeonghaseyo sunbaenim," Jimin and the rest of your group quickly bowed out of respect, with the two seniors doing the same.

An awkward silence hung in the air, and you could see Eunchae struggling to find something to say.

"I think we should head back to our lounge," Minjeong smoothly suggested, gently pulling you closer to her protectively. "We have interviews in another hour."

Chaeyoung's eyes narrowed as she noticed Minjeong's hand on your waist, her face contorting with jealousy. You knew that look all too well - it was the same look she had worn when you ended things between you. The fire in her typically calm eyes, the twisted expression that hid her welcoming smile.

You despised that look on her, and you loathed how the words that usually followed it would cut like knives into your heart. Her anger brought up flashbacks of how sour your relationship ended, and you worked on blinking away the tears that were starting to gather in the corners of your eyes. 

Seeing your seniors glaring at you, Jimin and Aeri quickly positioned themselves in front of you, shielding you from their view. Although your members were usually polite and friendly, they were not hesitant to protect you from other seniors. After all, you were their maknae, and they were very protective of you.

"It was nice meeting you, sunbaenims," Yizhuo said coolly, offering another respectful bow. "Eunchae, we can catch up later."

Eunchae was left momentarily speechless by the encounter. Confusion must have crossed her mind as she witnessed the rather cold interaction between the two groups. After all, everyone thought you were all quite close. Aeri often hung out with TWICE's Japanese members, and Jihyo was frequently seen taking all of you to lunch, treating you like her own children. You were famously known to spend time with Chaeyoung and Mina, watching movies together and visiting museums. You were all close, until the breakup happened.

You gave Eunchae a small, reassuring smile and squeezed her arm before leading the way down the hallway, the rest of your group surrounding you like a protective barrier.

.

.

.

.

After yet another decline to a movie night from you, the girls had had enough. It was time for an intervention.

It had been a few months since the breakup, and they were tired of seeing you moping around and refusing to take care of yourself. Your obvious weight loss, the dark circles under your eyes, and your lack of presence on stage were deeply concerning. They all knew you took your performances and practice seriously, always giving your all, but lately, your eyes had seemed vacant, empty of emotion. Even fans and media outlets had caught on, spreading news and negative comments about your declining health. Everyone was worried, everyone but you.

"Yah! Kim Y/N! Wake the hell up!" Yizhuo yelled, storming into your shared room with Minjeong and flicking on the lights.

Aeri followed closely behind, yanking your blankets off, while Jimin jumped on top of you, shaking your shoulders to rouse you.

You groaned, your eyes squinting under the sudden brightness before burying your face deeper into your pillow.

"I'm tired," you huffed in annoyance, trying to push Jimin off. "Leave me alone."

"Not a chance, Y/N," Jimin said sternly. "We need to talk."

You stiffened at Jimin's tone. She didn't often assert her leader's authority like this, and you could tell she was not happy with you. Reluctantly, you sat up, rubbing your eyes and then looking at the four pairs of worried eyes before you.

"This has got to stop. You're being self-destructive," Jimin pointed an accusing finger at you, her brows furrowing in concern.

It was unusual to see Jimin this serious; she was typically the hyper one among the five of you, which made her current demeanor all the more unsettling.

Seeking support from Minjeong, you turned to her, but she shook her head and avoided your gaze. She knew this wasn't her place to intervene, and she too had grown tired of your self-destructive behavior.

"I'm n—" you began, but Jimin's glare silenced you. 

"Y/N, we don't know what happened between you and Chaeyoung, but we're here for you. Please talk to us, or at least tell us what we can do to make you feel better," Aeri begged, sitting down on your bed and pulling you into a comforting hug.

Her embrace triggered a torrent of tears. You were so exhausted from feeling this way, from the ache Chaeyoung had left in your heart. As you sobbed into Aeri's arms, the rest of the girls quickly joined the hug, soothingly stroking your head and patting your back. You weren't known for being the one to cry in the group; they rarely saw you shed tears (except for Minjeong, who was aware of your late-night crying sessions). So, they knew how serious this was.

"I'm sorry," you cried as they attempted to comfort you. "I'll try to get better."

"Please spend some time with us or your friends," Yizhuo urged, "and stop skipping meals. Everyone is worried."

"And also quit smoking," Minjeong added, her words slipping out before she could stop them.

Your eyes widened in fear as they met hers, and both of you silently prayed that Jimin hadn't heard.

"SMOKING?" Jimin shouted, her entire frame trembling with anger. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY SMOKING?"

The rest of the girls looked at you with pity. They knew about the bad habits you'd developed, everyone except your leader.

"Good luck," Yizhuo whispered, squeezing your hand before hurrying out of the room with Aeri and Minjeong.

“I’m going to kill Chaeyoung,” Jimin muttered, before throwing a fit. 

.

.

.

.

After that decisive intervention and a stern talking-to from Jimin about smoking, you slowly began the process of piecing yourself back together. Taking additional dance lessons with Minjeong, you gradually regained the strength you had lost. You also kept busy by participating in more entertainment shows, striving to prove to your fans that you had returned even stronger than before. Despite your efforts, thoughts of that particular blonde never left your mind, influencing every aspect of your life.

On the other hand, Chaeyoung managed to maintain a polished facade in public, but behind closed doors, she would often break down. Your favorite sweater still sat neatly on your side of the bed, and some of your plush toys remained arranged exactly as you left them in her room. Without you there, her room felt too big, too desolate.

She attempted to dismiss your significance as just another fling in front of her members, but they could see through her facade. They knew that you were the reason why Chaeyoung seemed to be permanently stationed in the recording studio now, and why her laughter no longer reached the depth of her eyes.

“If you keep doing this, our next album is only going to be ballads and sad songs.” Tzuyu settled down beside the blonde, who was fervently jotting down in her notebook, surrounded by crumpled paper balls.

The early hours of the morning found the tall maknae at JYP's studio, her brow furrowed with concern. Jihyo had reached out earlier, requesting her to check on the brooding Chaeyoung. Despite the other TWICE members' efforts to persuade her to leave the studio and spend time with them, their attempts had all been in vain. It was time to play the maknae card.

It had been a while since Tzuyu had seen her unnie, and she understood how Chaeyoung tended to withdraw when left alone. So she enlisted the help of the cheeriest and most boisterous person she could find, urging them to drive with her to the studio to locate the heartbroken idol.

"What do you mean? I only write lead singles," Chaeyoung attempted to force a smile, concealing her true feelings.

"Mina unnie told me she saw you clutching your notebook to your chest and weeping into the microphone last night," the tall maknae deadpanned.

"Tzuyu!" Nayeon interjected, nudging the girl gently.

"What Tzuyu meant was that we know you've been feeling down lately, and we want you to know that we are here for you."

Chaeyoung nodded slowly, her mind lost in thought. She was aware that her mood was causing worry among her fellow members, yet she couldn't bring herself to open up to them, knowing she would be unable to contain her emotions if she started talking.

"I'll be fine," the blonde murmured, avoiding the concerned glances of her members.

Sighing, Tzuyu pulled the smaller girl into a gentle embrace, offering her comfort. It was unusual for the younger girl to initiate physical contact, indicating how much Chaeyoung's absence had troubled her.

"Stop being stubborn and just apologize," Tzuyu advised, stroking her hair tenderly. Not to worsen the pain but to address the issue, she continued, "You crossed the line. She's hurting more than you are."

Chaeyoung bit her lip and nodded, finally setting aside her pride and acknowledging her role in causing immense pain. She was determined to make amends, but not before addressing her own insecurities. She didn't want to inflict any more harm on you than she already had.

"But for now... I can take you out for drinks to take your mind off things," Nayeon chimed in, flashing a toothy smile, which earned an appreciative nod from the blonde.

The night ended with one irresponsible unnie getting the maknae line intoxicated. Jihyo was furious upon seeing a video of Chaeyoung loudly cursing into the studio microphone and brandishing an empty bottle of soju, while Tzuyu lay on the floor attempting to count non-existent stars through the windowless studio.

At least this drunken escapade managed to get the Chaeyoung back on her feet. Jihyo reassured herself as she attended meeting after meeting with the board, explaining the situation and attempting to appease the public.

.

.

.

.

Promotions had become a whirlwind after the success of your comeback, your schedule jam-packed with overseas travel. SM Entertainment was determined to expand your fanbase internationally, hence your prolonged absence from South Korea for several months.

The busy schedule and the time spent away from South Korea had been somewhat healing for your heart, gradually piecing it back together as days merged into months. You were content to have missed out on the award shows and music banks, places where you were likely to cross paths with the members of TWICE.

In your second week back, you took the time to reconnect with all of your friends after having lost touch with them for a while. Your close friend Haewon was overjoyed at your return and invited you for a sleepover at the NMIXX dorms. You shared a close bond with the girls, particularly Haewon, as you were both the same age and had originally trained in the same company. You had been a JYP trainee for several years before transitioning to SM, enticed by their promise of an immediate debut. It was through the workshops held by TWICE that you first met Chaeyoung.

Somehow, the original planned movie night turned into a pillow fight with the girls. You were carrying Haewon on her back, and she was waving a large pillow determined as you faced your competitors, Lily and Bae. 

With a battle cry, Haewon tugged at your hair like reins, signaling you to charge.You ran towards the two girls, and Haewon braced herself before swinging like a mad man, trying to get Bae off of Lily’s back. You managed to miss out on the fight despite amidst it, as Haewon’s hands were holding onto your face and covering your eyes every time she lost balance (which was 90% of the time).

When your vision finally cleared, you saw the two girls sitting on the living room floor, attempting to disentangle themselves, while Haewon remained on your back, her hair wild, and the rest of the girls laughing from the sofa, thoroughly entertained by the fight.

"We're such a good team," Haewon exclaimed, still swinging around on your back, attempting to flex her non-existent biceps. "If I were gay, I'd date you."

"I think Y/N unnie was blind the entire time, though," Sullyoon chimed in with a giggle.

"And deaf. Haewon was screaming in my ears," you added, attempting to rid yourself of the ringing in your ears.

"I think I'm going deaf too," Lily muttered, sitting up and rubbing her ears. "You nearly killed us with your screams, woman."

Before Haewon could retort with a witty remark, a sharp knock resounded from the door. The girls exchanged perplexed glances. Visitors were rare, given the strict rules at JYP's dorms regarding unauthorized entry, unless it was their manager.

Who could possibly be seeking them out at 1 in the morning?

Another impatient knock echoed through the silence.

Haewon hopped down from your back and cautiously approached the door. 

"Who is it?" she called out, her voice tinged with a hint of fear. 

No response, just an unsettling silence.

"Maybe it's manager-nim?" Kyujin whispered, seeing their leader's hesitation. 

As the group's leader and one of the oldest members, Haewon had always strived to be responsible and resilient, but bravery was admittedly not her strong suit. She was trembling as she slowly inched her way forward. 

"C'mon, I'll go with you," you offered, taking her hand and guiding her toward the door. 

Another set of urgent knocks reverberated, prompting the shorter girl to seek refuge behind your figure, clutching your arm in worry.

"What do you—" Your words were cut off as you swung the door open, revealing Chaeyoung with her fists raised to knock once more.

"Chaeyoung," you whispered, her presence once again taking your breath away.

Somehow, seeing her up close ripped open all the wounds you had painstakingly mended over the past few months, ushering in waves of pain as your heart lurched and faltered.

The older girl was adorned in a cozy beige woolen sweater and grey sweatpants, topped with the familiar grey beanie you had gifted her a few years ago. The rolled-up sleeves of her sweater revealed her tattoo-covered forearms, the collection seemingly grew during your time apart. She looked as breathtakingly beautiful as the last time you had seen her, except for the dark circles that now seemed etched beneath her eyes.

"Y/N," she breathed, offering you a sad smile that hinted at her dimples. "Hey."

"Oh, annyeonghaseyo Sunbaenim," Haewon's head popped up from behind you, her grip on your arms still firm.

She quickly bowed in respect, a mix of confusion and slight worry in her eyes, having been on the receiving end of Chaeyoung's fits of jealousy during your trainee days when you were too close.

You braced yourself for the familiar look of jealousy from Chaeyoung, the intense glare that always made you flinch, but to your surprise, there was none. Instead, her eyes conveyed a haunting sorrow, paired with a small genuine smile.

"Hey, Haewon," Chaeyoung greeted, reciprocating the bow without a hint of anger. "Do you mind if I borrow Y/N for a bit?"

Haewon looked at you with uncertainty, and you gently squeezed her hand, nodding in reassurance. Despite the ache in your heart, warning you to keep your distance from the blonde, you found yourself inexplicably drawn to her, yearning to be near her. Besides, this composed and collected version of Chaeyoung was a new sight to behold.

Closing the door behind her, you found yourself alone in the empty hallway with the girl who held the power to either shatter you in seconds or offer you a taste of heaven. The gentle scent of detergent and lavender lingered in the air, bringing back memories of being held in her arms.

You waited patiently as the idol fidgeted with the rings adorning her fingers, her gaze fixated on her worn-out sneakers, lips pressed tightly together. 

"If there's nothing you want–"

"Come with me," she interjected abruptly, immediately flushing at her unintended interruption. "I m-mean, can you go somewhere with me?" 

Mustering up her courage, she finally met your gaze, her warm eyes causing another surge in your heart. You found yourself nodding in agreement and following her out of the building without a second thought. She could lead you to your own destruction, and you would still follow her. You could picture your unnies shaking their heads in disappointment at you right now. 

.

.

.

.

Chaeyoung was nervous. Scratch that, she was terrified. 

It felt like her one and only opportunity to win back the girl of her dreams, and the fear of ruining things was suffocating. It had been so long since she had last seen you, and all she wanted was to pull you into a tight embrace and never let go. She wanted to fall to her knees and plead for forgiveness, but at the moment of seeing you, her mind had gone blank, unable to form coherent sentences.

Now, with you seated in the front of her car, the wind tousling your hair, she couldn’t help but admire your beauty. The soft illumination from the streetlights cast a gentle glow over your features, accentuating your angelic features as the car glided down the street.

She was resolute in her determination never to let you slip away again, if you allowed her to stay. The past few months without you had been torture, and you were the angelic presence that had lifted her from the depths of despair. She loved you more than anything, and she was ready to spend the rest of her life ensuring you knew it.

"The studio?" you asked, eyebrows raised as you recognized the familiar parking lot that Chaeyoung pulled into.

"Yeah, I wanted to show you something," she responded, opening the door for you. "If that's okay?"

You nodded. How could you ever say no to those hopeful eyes?

It was like déjà vu all over again: you sitting on the familiar black sofa, and Chaeyoung fumbling with the buttons and levers of the recording panel in front of the room. The sight of her trying to set everything up brought bittersweet memories. Days spent in the studio, watching her compose and record, flashed through your mind. 

"I wrote a song for you," Chaeyoung stated after a prolonged silence. "PD-nim wanted it for our upcoming album, but I want your approval first."

You nodded, giving her silent permission to continue.

She fetched two headphones from the table and walked over to you. Out of habit, she gently placed them on your head.  The soft pads of the headphones met your ears, and her fingertips, warm and tender, brushed your cheeks, sending an electric current through your body. Your heart quickened its pace, pounding in your chest, and you involuntarily drew in a sharp, trembling breath, caught in the gravity of the moment.

Realizing her mistake and mistaking your reaction for annoyance, she jumped back in embarrassment. "Sorry. Habits die hard."

Returning to the panel, she took a few deep breaths to compose herself. Your reaction only intensified her self-doubt. Perhaps she was too late. Perhaps she had hurt you too much for you to forgive her.

With a click of the play button, music filled your ears as you focused on Chaeyoung. She tapped her feet nervously, her eyes shifting from her hands to your face as you listened.  Mina's rare lower register sent shivers down your spine, but you found it hard to focus on the lyrics; all you wanted was to hear Chaeyoung sing it to you, to hear her true feelings.

"Stop," you said suddenly, removing your headphones. "Please stop."

Chaeyoung quickly pressed pause, her fingers trembling at the thought that you didn't like the song or didn't want to know what she had to say. 

"You don't like it?" she asked, crestfallen.

You shook your head. "I want to hear you sing it for me. Just you. Like you always did."

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Chaeyoung reached for the guitar on the nearby stand. If singing this song to you would make you happy, she would do it, no matter how vulnerable it made her. Her eyes met yours before she began to sing. The hint of a smile on your face and your tender expression gave her the courage to express her true feelings, to apologize for all the wrongs she had committed, for hurting you.

Words were never her strong suit, so she often hid her true thoughts behind harsh words to protect herself, but it had only broken your heart. Her eyes never left yours as she sang, conveying her apology for her jealousy, the hurtful words, the fights, and the misplaced anger directed at you. She tried her best to convey that she couldn't live without you and that she loved you.

As the final strum of the guitar echoed in the air, the two of you looked at each other, tears glistening in your eyes, the long-overdue apology finally spoken. All you wanted was to forgive the tormented girl before you, to kiss away her pain and tell her you loved her too, but you were afraid of getting hurt again.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N," Chaeyoung said, placing the guitar down and kneeling in front of you, grasping your cold hands in her warm ones.

"I'm sorry for hurting you."

She reached up to wipe the tears from your cheeks, and as you closed your eyes, leaning into her touch, her warmth, her scent, her presence filled the void in your heart, but you worried that when she left, you would have to start healing all over again.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to understand what I did wrong. I was so selfish and sure of myself that I ignored your feelings," she continued, gently stroking your face as tears streamed down her own.

"I shouldn't have projected my past trauma onto you. That was unfair. I should have trusted you instead of trying to keep you away from everyone just because I was insecure."

"Chae..." Her nickname slipped from your lips, making her heart soar.

"Jagi, please forgive me," she implored, pressing your hands to her lips and kissing them. "I can't handle another day without you."

You sighed, pulling your hand away from her lips to rub your forehead. Deep down, you wanted to be with her again. She was like a drug; the closer you got, the stronger the withdrawal. You knew that after this encounter, it would take your heart several months to heal again.

"I don't think I can handle another heartbreak, Chaeyoung."

At that, the light in her eyes dimmed, and she bit her lip, struggling to hold back her sobs. Slowly rising from the floor, she turned around, pretending to switch off the machines and speakers, although you knew she was trying hard to compose herself.

"I understand," she whispered, her back still turned to you.

She looked so small, so defeated, and you couldn't bear to see her in so much pain any longer. She may have had issues to resolve, but so did you. With her close, you knew she would always be the only one for you. She was like air in deep water, providing support and slowly pulling you towards the surface.

You approached her slowly, observing her body shake with quiet sobs as she stood facing her feet. Wrapping your arms around her waist, you buried your face in her hair, pressing kisses to the exposed skin in comfort.

"But I don't think I can handle losing you again."

Not fully structured, but just wanted to drop something for you guys.

Please let me know what you think!

[animebw]

Short Reflection: Spring 2024 Anime

I feel like 2024 is shaping up to be an unusual year for anime. Most mainstream shonen and isekai are staggering into audience fatigue of some kind or another, two-cours series are making a massive comeback, and big waves are being made from eclectic shows like Apothecary Diaries and Girls Band Cry that would likely be relegated to cult classic status in years prior. There haven't been many clear standouts yet, but there's a lot of fascinating second-tier stuff bubbling just under the surface. It feels like the general anime audience has grown so big at this point that the way we consume shows and the kinds of shows that break through are evolving before our eyes. Never mind movies like Look Back and The Colors Within waiting in the wings to redefine our notions of what animated cinema can be. All this is to say, I don't know what we'll make of 2024 when all is said and done, but it's gonna be a very interesting story. For now, though, let's take stock of spring's roster of shows to pick out the best, the worst, and the worth checking out. Not counting the shows I've already talked about (Hibike Euphonium's final season 9.5/10 and Demon Slayer's training arc 4/10) or MHA's latest foray, which I'm still waiting to see exactly how it shakes out.

Dead Dead Demons' Dededede Destruction: Please Watch/10

I'm putting this one right up front because while it's still very early into airing, there's a good chance a lot of you don't even know it exists. Released initially as a pair of movies earlier this year, this adaptation of Oyasumi Punpun author Inio Asano's bizarre bildungsroman alien invasion manga has been retooled into an 18-episode TV series with (apparently) lots of additional footage to fill out everything the movies had to cut for time. Those production circumstances alone would be interesting enough to merit checking it out (fingers crossed Haikyuu can get the same treatment?), but more importantly, this show is just really damn good, and it deserves better than being dropped on Crunchyroll with almost no fanfare and incomplete English subs that don't translate most of the written text. As someone who kind of loved and hated Punpun in equal measure, Dededede feels like all of Asano's best instincts on full display, a riveting exploration of how modern humanity is forced to struggle through "normal" life in the shadow of the apocalypse, asking how we can still set our sights on our futures when there's a very good chance that future might never come. It's messy and difficult, and yet it brims with love for people and our ability to seek kindness and compassion even in the darkest times. Just do yourself a favor and skip the awful "episode 0" prologue; not only is it leagues worse than the rest of the show, it spoils so many details about the story's endgame that it might just ruin the experience outright if you're not careful. You've been warned.

Mushoku Tensei Season 2 Part 2: 1.5/10

Is the second part of Mushoku Tensei season 2 as apocalyptically awful as the first part? Not quite, no. But that's only because Rudeus doesn't do anything quite as jaw-dropping as buying a child slave or kidnapping and molesting a pair of catgirls with no consequences. I know, the bar is in fucking hell and this garbage fire still barely managed to stumble over it. Otherwise, it remains every bit as vile as always. Here's a fun drinking game you can play: take a shot every time someone this season 1) makes excuses to justify why Rudeus shouldn't feel bad about doing something awful, 2) praises Rudeus to high heaven and calls him the most specialest boy ever, 3) falls head over heels for Rudeus in a matter of seconds. You'll likely pass out before you're halfway through the season, but on the plus side that means you won't have to watch any fucking more. I simply remain baffled that so many people have been fooled into thinking this show is something meaningful and smart, how many people ignore its glaringly obvious awfulness to pretend it's saying things it's not actually saying and exploring ideas it's not actually exploring. All I can do is wait impatiently for Re:Zero's return later this year so it can smack everyone senseless with a reminder of what challenging, subversive isekai storytelling actually looks like. Maybe then we'll finally be able to recognize this steaming pile of misogyny and rape culture for what it is and cast it out without a second thought. We can only hope.

Urusei Yatsura Season 2 (2nd Half): 4.5/10

I think I've given Urusei Yatsura a fair shake. I've done my best to enjoy it through its weaker moments and painfully obvious crows' feet. But now that it's finally over, all I can think is maybe it was better off left in the past. There are infinitely better screwball comedies that have come since, comedies that have been building off the tropes Urusei Yatsura established and finding much more interesting, meaningful things to do with them. This may be a foundational rom-com text, but fifty goddamn years later all its best qualities have been improved upon to the point of obsolescence, and all that's really left is the gross, dated stuff and the fact that every time it tries to be sincere and sentimental it runs into the unavoidable problem that all the romantic relationships its built on really kind of suck. Sorry, but Ataru and Lum are an awful couple and all the worst parts of this show are when it unironically tries to make you root for them despite them being pretty blatantly terrible for each other. I'll stick with Inuyasha, thank you very much.

Wind Breaker: 5/10

Man, why does every promising modern delinquent anime end up driving itself into a ditch before long? First Tokyo Revengers, then Bucchigiri, and now Wind Breaker has completed the trifecta. And this one had so much potential! Casting a shoujo-style blushy tsundere bad boy as the protagonist of an otherwise straightforward tough-guy action brawler is one of the most inspired strokes of genius I've seen in a long time (let alone getting the Kyo Sohma's VA to voice him). What better way to explore the emotional human side of delinquent storytelling than with a main character who's arc is all about accepting other people and learning to love himself despite the world's rejection of him? That plus a slick production full of badass fistfights should've been an easy recipe for success. Unfortunately, it falls victim to the most common of shonen death knells: getting stuck in an overlong, dragged-out arc that consists of nothing but uninteresting fights against half-baked antagonists that loses sight of what made this series unique until its final moments. And double minus points for entirely taking place in a single visually dull location that you're forced to stare at for like 5 episodes straight with occasional flashbacks as your only escape. Seriously, you could cut the Shishitoren arc to half its current length and lose very little of value. I can only hope the upcoming second season won't get similarly bogged down, cause a good version of this show is something I desperately want to believe is possible.

Konosuba Season 3: 5.5/10

So here's the good news first: Despite a seven year gap since the second season and a change in studio, Konosuba's third season is still every bit the same show it was. As for the bad news... well, the bad news is that Konosuba's third season is still every bit the same show it was. Yeah, in the years since I first watched it, I've had to really reckon with all the ways this show fucking sucks, and all of those reasons remain on full display undimmed by the passage of time. It's sexist, it's objectifying, it's violently queerphobic, it thinks sexual assault is the funniest thing ever when Kazuma's the one doing it, it's every bit as misogynistic and masturbatory as the isekai genre it's supposedly satirizing. And it's also still one of the funniest goddamn anime ever made when it wants to be. Seriously, if you just strip away all the godawful incel-pandering that's seemingly endemic to modern isekai, Konosuba's god-tier expression work and pitch-black sarcasm are a blast of laughing gas like nothing else in its vicinity. If it could just focus on telling actual jokes instead of passing off alt-right sexual politics as "comedy" half the time, it would more than deserve its status as a modern classic. But it won't, because it genuinely believes all that garbage is the funniest shit ever. Which is why it'll forever be stuck as a show that you can never admit to enjoying in public without being justifiably judged by everyone around you.

Train to the End of the World: 5.5/10

It's kind of impossible to describe what Train to the End of the World is about without sounding like you're flipping through ten different plot summaries and choosing words at random. But here's as best I can: a freak accident causes the world to morph into a surreal patchwork of bizarre locales, while also seemingly reducing the scope of the world to a single train line in Japan stretching between rural town Agano and Tokyo's metropolitan Ikebukuro district. When Agano high-schooler Shizuru finds evidence that her long-lost friend Yoka might be trapped in Ikebukuro- and also maybe related to the reason everything went insane- she hops on an abandoned train car with a few friends and a dog and starts the long, long journey to reach Ikebukuro through the madness and chaos that defines the new world. The best I can explain it is Gullliver's Travels by way of Alice in Wonderland and Salvador Dali, each episode taking us to another stop on the train line that's morphed into its own flavor of batshit crazy, from mushroom people to horny zombies to a post-canon bad end magical girl world. Unfortunately, any semblance of a point feels buried under a thousand tons of calcified absurdism too thick for anything resembling sincerity to peek through. There are attempts at exploring deeper themes or character moments, but the show's pace is so blisteringly fast and so deeply uninterested with anything beyond what wild ideas it can pull out of its hat that nothing really sticks by the time the train's rolling on to its next destination. If there's anything here beyond a series of wacky Moments(tm) delivered with the rushed breathlessness of a Youtube video on 2X speed, I can't say it made an impression.

Tonari no Youkai-san: 5.5/10

I'm of two minds about Tonari no Yokuai-san. On the one hand, it's a deeply heartfelt iyashikei that uses its fantasy elements to explore grief, loss, love, community, and the reasons we celebrate life even knowing it must one day end. This town of humans and spirits living side-by-side feels so real and warm you wish you could live there yourself, and the characters populating it, from earnest nekomata to old gay cars to prickly fox spirits and everyone in between, burst with inner life so naturally it almost makes you jealous. On the other hand, for some baffling reason, this show keeps trying to shoehorn in action plots and sci-fi elements that gel with the quiet, contemplative tone as well as oil and water. I genuinely don't understand why the author thought they needed time-space bureaus and giant rampaging snakes to liven things up when just the main character going through an existential crisis about how they're going to outlive everyone they love is ten thousand times more gripping than any of that other nonsense. On the bright side, the good stuff is still really good, and considering how few of you likely watched this show already, let this be your reminder this your reminder not to let it slip through the cracks.

Go Go Loser Ranger: 6/10

Is the idea of a dark, edgy twist on tokusatsu where the protagonist is a nameless minion trying to overthrow a fascist cabal of sentai rangers that unique? Not really, no. But god damn if Go Go Loser Ranger doesn't make it work regardless. There's something just inherently fun about watching one of those nameless background mooks that normally exist just to get punted en masse decide "You know what? I'm done being the world's punching bag. I'm gonna become the protagonist of my own story and take these fuckers down." We've all rooted for the underdog at some point, after all. It's only fair the most disposable fodder get a chance in the spotlight. And Go Go Loser Ranger delights in twisting that setup as far as it can get away with, constantly making you second-guess your allegiances to any one side as it quickly becomes clear there are no true heroes to root for in this world, just lots of different people flawed in very different ways, all fighting for their own personal gain. You're never quite sure when someone you're rooting for is going to break your trust with some horrific act, or someone you loathe is going to prove themselves more courageous than they first let on, and it keeps you on the edge of your seat waiting to see when the next shoe's going to fall. Sadly, it also suffers from Wind Breaker's mistake of spending too much time on an overlong arc that's mostly just dull characters fighting in a duller location, but by the end it's shaken off those doldrums and returned to form in a big way. As long as the second season can keep those gears turning, we're in for a good time.

Spice and Wolf Reboot (1st Cours): 6/10

Let's be blunt: there is no point to remaking Spice and Wolf. The original series is still just as good fifteen years later, and despite the source material continuing past the point it ended, it reached such a beautiful conclusion on its own terms that it more than cemented its status as a true eternal anime classic. Sure, it's nice to experience this story again, to re-aquaint myself with Holo and Lawrence's wonderful chemistry and the fascinating ins and outs of Medieval economics that drive their story. There's a reason I fell in love with this show so many years ago, and Reboot Wolf still has plenty of that charm to go around. But this isn't a re-imagining or a Brotherhood/Froobs 2019 style "proper" adaptation. This is just the same show again but a little bit worse in every way. All I can think of, watching this story I know play out again, is how much stiffer and generic the modern art direction and animation is, how it plays things so much safer with its source material while the original wasn't afraid to make strong changes, how Holo's prickly personality has been neutered into a much more docile, Lawrence-dependent character while the original stood so strong on her own two feet. Maybe it works well enough if this is your first taste of Spice and Wolf, but then, the original show is right there! You could just watch that instead and get a much better experience all around!

Yuru Camp Season 3: 6.5/10

Speaking of shows that are probably pointless, was there really any need for Yuru Camp to continue after the one-two satisfying punch of season 2 and the epilogue movie? Those endings put such a beautiful bow on the series that anything else would feel superfluous. Especially with such a massive downgrade in the art direction department, Jesus Christ. I don't know who's running studio 8bit's compositing department these days, but between this and the latest Yama no Susume season, it's so painful to see a studio that once excelled at background art reduced to putting filters over photographs and awkwardly slapping ill-fitting moeblob characters on top. The clash between the characters and the backgrounds this season is legitimately painful at times, and for a vibes-based iyashikei like Yuru Camp, that could so easily be a death knell. Thank the gods, then, that most of this series' charm still comes through in spite of itself, the wonderful characters and delightfully daffy comedy still as strong as ever as it extols the virtues of finding your peace in the great outdoors. But if we're going to get any more, then please figure out how to make this new aesthetic not so physically repellent to look at.

Kaiju No. 8: 7/10

I've said many times that the art of making a Good Enough show is more complicated than most people appreciate. It takes so much skill and talent, so much mastery of the basic building blocks of storytelling, to create something that's just fun to watch plain and simple. And Kaiju No. 8 is yet another example of how impressive it is when one of these shows gets it right. It's a simple, straightforward action show about an over-the-hill sanitation worker getting one last chance to live his dream as a member of the elite kaiju-slaying force that keeps the world safe from the towering monsters that menace it... by accidentally becoming part kaiju himself. The characters are simple but lovable, the emotional stakes are earnest without being overbearing, the action is consistently exciting and well-animated, and the story keeps you on your toes with well-worn tropes executed in novel and exciting ways. I honestly don't think I've seen a shonen action romp so perfectly nail its fundamentals like this since the early days of My Hero Academia. Whether or not this show will also rise to MHA's eventual level of complexity and thematic weight remains to be seen, but for now, it's just plain fun, and an easy recommendation to anyone looking for a good time.

Delicious in Dungeon (2nd Cours): 7.5/10

Well, I asked for Dungeon Meshi to get darker, and by god, that's exactly what it did. Through shocking plot turns and deeply disquieting thematic touches, this silly little fantasy cooking comedy has developed into something much more sinister and unsettling... while still being primarily a silly fantasy comedy about cooking D&D monsters into mouthwatering meals. I'm still not sure if the tonal whiplash entirely works, but my god does it make this a fascinating show to watch. A single episode can take you from some of the most gut-busting deadpan snark this side of Gintama to a skin-crawling contemplation on mortality and consuming life to perpetuate your own without missing a beat. Turns out, Dungeon Meshi has thoughts on the nature of food as a biological, societal and cultural force, and how that force is not always as simple or benign as a meal shared with friends and family. And it explores those ideas with a quiet dread that makes even its silliest moments feel like a tentative breath before things come crashing down. I have no idea how things will shake out in the second season, but if manga fans are to be believed, it's only going to get more twisted and insane from here. I cannot fucking wait. Just, can Falin stay on screen for more than a single episode without being kidnapped again this time? Girl's such a damsel in distress even Princess Peach is giving her concerned looks.

Jellyfish Can't Swim in the Night: 7.5/10

There is no feeling quite like being a young artist. You're excited to make your mark, painfully anxious about not measuring up while simultaneously being quite full of yourself, bursting with ideas and not quite sure how to execute them, but above all else, in love with the act of creation. And I don't think I've ever seen an anime that so perfectly embodies that messy, beautiful spirit as Jellyfish Can't Swim in the Night. Four girls from different artistic backgrounds- an artist, a singer, a musician, and a tech wiz- come together as one to give each other the strength they lack on their own, forming the musical group JELEE as they strive to love themselves and their work through the magic they make together. It's an explosion of passion and joy, often times outstripping its ability to measure up to its ambitions and stumbling over itself, but always shining, always dazzling, always wearing its heart firmly on its sleeve as it celebrates the joy of creation in the digital age and the importance of sincerity in a world too afraid of cringe to accept it. It's also a wonderfully capital-P Progressive series; there's a gay kiss, one character is eventually revealed to be nonbinary in a scene so spectacular I wish I could bump my score up another half-point for it alone. Sadly, it only reaches those heights every so often- but when it does, my god is it a sight to behold.

Girls Band Cry: 8/10

I remember back when I watched Love Live Sunshine, I wished there was a girls' music anime where the protagonists sung the kind of badass punk rock usually reserved for the antagonists of idol shows. Well, it looks like writer Jukki Hanada and director Kazuo Sakai heard me, because five years after bidding Sunshine farewell, they're returned with one of the most exhilarating, renegade expressions of punk spirit we've gotten in a long time. Girls Band Cry is a supernova, a soaring firecracker of a show that marries an instantly iconic headbanger soundtrack with Hanada's typically spectacular character writing in this tale of five outcasts forming a band and coming together to spit in the face of the world that tried to grind them into conformity. Nina Iseri's arrogant, self-righteous immaturity is a primal scream for the importance of doing what's right over what's easy, and you feel that scream in your fucking soul. Even the show's scrappy CG animation embodies that non-comformist spirit, charting stunning new avenues for 3D anime with some of the most expressive character models and soaring concert scenes you're likely to see all decade. And while the pacing is definitely rushed at points, the overwhelming emotions bleeding from each and every scene make even the weakest moments go down easy. It's downright criminal Toei fumbled the ball on an official English release, but unless you're completely against sailing the high seas, you owe it to yourself to track it down regardless. So raise your middle fingers to the sky, spill your heart from your chest, and let Togenashi Togeari force you to believe in the power of rock all over again.

Dropped:

-Bartender Drops of God (3 Episodes). Too boring to stick with in a pretty packed season.

-A Condition Called Love (3 Episodes). Creepy possessiveness excused for the sake of romance.

Blue Archive (1 Episode). Do you even need to ask.

-The Many Sides of Voice Actor Radio (2 Episodes). Awful adaptation that butchers what made the manga so great.

-Whisper Me a Love Song (9 Episodes). The production falls completely apart and it skips the main couple's first kiss. Just read the manga, it's really damn good and deserved so much better.

[hostilemuppet]

tell me more about tbgo poppy creek rivalry 👀

ok this got kinda long sorry LOL i have some thoughts on how itd work

so, i think instead of creek deliberately antagonising branch bc he gets some sick kick out of it, its creek trying (and failing) to worm his way back into the snack pack, and more importantly into poppys life. poppy would struggle with wanting to grab him and shake him and throw him off a cliff AND wanting to set a good example to her kingdom, to follow the mantra of "no troll left behind". in public she has to put on a brave face, and pretend like she actually tolerates, maybe even LIKES creek, but if theyre alone (or just with branch. branch still hates creek hes just not the focus) poppy actually lets him have it

since creek episodes would focus on poppy instead of branch, more of the snack pack actually get involved with the creek situation. they are treated as actual characters, and most of them dont like creek either but ALSO have to pretend to tolerate him: it wouldnt look very good if the queens friends dont follow her lead, right? creek becomes the one guy of the friend group that no one actually likes. obviously he wouldnt be an ACTUAL member of the snack pack and he still wouldnt be used nearly as often as guy diamond and smidge, but he still ends up "part of the gang" several times, and its made VERY obvious that they cant stand him. creek probably notices, and then we get some of that delicious twerpitude he shows with branch where he gets all touchy and mocking because he knows they cant do anything about it

creek week would be about poppy struggling to figure out how to deal with creek. her dad always said "no troll left behind", and even though creek wanted to leave EVERY troll behind, poppy cant deny that he is still a troll. she lets him back in the village, but says she will keep a very close eye on him. he says oh hes sure she will, she always used to when she thought he wouldnt notice 😉. poppy shudders. the rest of the episode is poppy watching, and hating, how creek reintegrated into the village. since the snack pack are the only ones who really know how creek acted, other trolls find it much easier to forgive him: theyre sure he really DID feel like he had no choice! its not like he looked super smug while telling them or anything! maybe branch also suggests the waterfall test (still using himself as bait), and poppy is desperate enough to go through with it, except instead of being cast out from the snack pack (they would not be present in the scene) poppy instead sees creek look all sad and pathetic. and she knows she shouldnt, but she feels bad. hes still a troll. she says hes sorry, and he says he forgives her because thats what friends do, then reaches out for a hug. branch shakes his head. poppy hugs him. the camera focuses on poppy, looking torn and uncomfortable, then on creek, looking smug, then on branch, who pinches the bridge of his nose and groans. episode ends.

haircuffed, this might be controversial but i think its peppy who ties them together. he thinks they used to be so inseparable, and whatever lovers spat (poppy tells him thats not what this is. he laughs it off) theyve got going on can just be solved by spending some quality time together. poppy is horrified, and says dad, no, you dont understand, its a difficult situation! creek is unbothered, but he says hes looking forward to spending a loooot of time with poppy. hes really wanted to catch up :). throughout the episode, creek acts exactly like he did when they were dating (ie, manipulative and controlling with a pretty icing coating), and poppy cant believe she ever saw anything in him. poppy would still pretend to get along with creek, just like branch did in the actual episode, but instead of them both agreeing to "act so close that it creeps poppy out into releasing them", poppy doesnt make any plan with creek. she just pretends that she actually forgave him, that theyre actually close, until peppy decides theyve buried the hatchet and releases them. branch, who had spent the whole episode brainstorming ways to reverse the haircuffs (explaining his absence), arrives with a chainsaw (the same one creek pulled out) and chases creek into the distance. peppy asks if shes gonna stop branch from attacking her friend. and she says no, dad, i hate that guy. ill fill you in.

the fast and the friendliest, instead of it being mentor vs mentor, poppy just doesnt want creek mentoring ANY of the children. shes seen what hes capable of! he has an utter disregard for anyone elses safety! and creek says "wow, poppy... i thought you really believed i changed... i guess you dont trust me afterall..." and otherwise lays it on really thick, until poppy gives in and says he can mentor priscilla, since shes the smartest and could probably tell if hes about to endanger her. throughout the episode, poppy sees creek work with priscilla and, wow, hes actually being very responsible! and priscilla seems like shes having a good time! maybe... maybe he really HAS changed. maybe he IS trustworthy! then, on the day of the event, creek finds out that branch is one of the other mentors. he didnt know, since he was so focused on poppy, but he still wants to show up his "competition" of course. he tells priscilla he has absolutely no doubts about her ability to win, but... just to make sure theres no chance she gets even close to second place, he attaches a booster bug to priscillas flyer bug. then it happens exactly how it does in canon, with priscillas flyer bug malfunctioning. branch and keith save priscilla, and even though theyre both tied for last place they look like they had fun. priscilla thanks creek for mentoring her, even if she ddnt win. creek loses his temper a bit, and says the only reason he volunteered in the first place was so his pupil could WIN! he wanted to prove he could be a GOOD mentor! he wanted to impress POPPY! he didnt care about this childrens event, he didnt care about PRISCILLA! priscilla starts crying, and poppy is pissed. she says this was supposed to be a fun event for the kids, and she thought he really wanted priscilla to enjoy herself. she thought he really changed. she thought he was trustworthy. she leaves, followed by branch (who sticks out his tongue) and keith (ditto). creek looks sad and pathetic. priscilla has calmed down a bit, and now shes with her parents, who say something about pursuing legal action against creek for the child endangerment. someone throws a tomato at him.

unsure about how bad luck branch could work with this new dynamic since... it is very specifically about branch. maybe instead of biggie being his partner, poppy is (and biggie is the presenter)? and creek talks about how branch is Clearly ruining everything for poppy, really love i dont know what you see in this jinxed troll. and poppys angry, because that is HER boyfriend youre talking about! poppy is the one who gets fixated on clearing branchs bad luck, but by the end of the episode she realises that SHE was the one causing the "bad luck" by getting in her own head and stressing branch out. she says shes sorry, and branch forgives her because theyre "best friends", and they agree to try their best for the rest of the event no matter what happens. the ending is exactly like in canon, with creek ending up eating shit and losing the game for himself and aspen. sorry aspen!

[tavina-writes]

When will we ever get something like yanxi palace and story of ming lan, the fact that they were allowed to take revenge on the people who caused the death of the women they loved most, there was no "revenge is bad" or "we're better than this" no. Ming lan schemed and planned so meticulously and ying luo when she found out Erqing played a role in the empress death she brought her in front of her portrait and strangled her to death without fear or hesitation. Dramas nowadays would get cut and censored to hell if they did anything close to that. I want my complicated badass smart women back, I'm so tired of shows trying to convince me very hard the leads are smart by having people say it again and again when the actual writing doesn't show it...

I feel your pain on this "the leads are very smart because people keep saying they're smart" nonny. I, too, sometimes question why it is that that happens, but I'm not entirely certain its only censorship at play!

I've been rotating this for a while now since I still haven't found anything that strikes me as hard as Yanxi/Minglan/Ruyi in the years since then, especially since I love political dramas with cool female leads and I'm always on the hunt for new ones. I think the Yanxi-Minglan years were a real treat for us tbh. I don't know that things are necessarily more watered down now solely because of censorship exactly, because we've always had to work around censorship. Yanxi famously cut Yingning's storyline as well as Chenbi's Korean costuming just to get by the censors, which is also why the back half of Yanxi lost like, 10? or so episodes? and we lost some supposedly STUNNING scenes in there because of those cuts to get past censors. (There are photographs that I drool over about the cut plotlines every now and again while shaking my fist at the sky.) Minglan was originally 80 episodes long instead of seventy-three. I'm not entirely certain what they cut from there, but there is a rumored director's edition with 80 episodes that I haven't been able to get my hands on that's apparently also very good so it's not like Minglan escaped the censorship cuts either.

However, like, I think stories like Yanxi and Minglan are so rare because it is very difficult to get the whole package together -- the actors, the costuming, the sets, the screenwriters, the directors, the ost, the editing, the air dates, the audience interest, the companies investing money and budget into a production, and yes, the production clearing the censorship hurdle. In my ~15 years or so of watching cdrama, I'd say that the Yanxi-Minglan years were still some of my all time highs when it comes to cdramas that really grabbed me and it's because for these productions so much of this came together. It's always vastly easier for a writer to say "this character is very smart! this character is very smart and other people know it!" rather than showing that the character is smart or setting up a plotline where the character is smart and getting the payoff back from that. We see this all the time in every sort of media. Most of it comes down to bad writing and the writers being so afraid of like, actually going for the throat rather than censorship (though of course the censorship doesn't help a writer lose their fear of going for the audience's throat on a plotline or a character moment).

So I think a lot of more recent cdramas that fall into that pit are in there more for bad writing than censorship tbh, and bad writing unfortunately has always existed, and shows that claimed their characters were super smart while also making my eyes bleed also existed prior to and during the Minglan-Yanxi years as well as after. (Looking at you Brocade Heart Like Jade, I still haven't forgiven you for baiting me.)

For the record I've been watching The Side Story of the Fox Volant which came out last year in 2022 recently with @autumnslantern and some of those scenes are dark. We're about 5-6 episodes in right now and it's been really fun and well constructed. This show definitely is not at all holding back with showing bloody deaths, societal troubles, or the implications of the jianghu being a dangerous and often miserable place. So I think that cdramas with smart people and extremely vicious moments do still exist! Or at least they did up to last year.

TLDR: I think it's a combination of "the censorship is obviously not helping" and "stories that good are rare for reasons other than censorship because it's so much harder to tell a good story."

I do feel you though nonny, when will a show like Minglan or Yanxi and a main character like Sheng Minglan or Wei Yingluo EVER COME BACK from the WAR. I WANT.

[galliversary]

Welcoming Ivy Hanover, one of our writers!

Where can we find you?

Tumblr: @vivvision

Twitter: ProtagonistIvy

YouTube: The Main Protagonist

AO3: LavenderPatrex

Instagram: Themainprotagonist_

Who is your favorite Gallifrey character?

It's quite difficult to pick between the main cast; they all have an equal share of my heart. Leela, though, has a bit of my soul as well. I look up to and admire Romana and Narvin a great deal, but I think it goes a little bit farther with Leela.

She is many things. A warrior, a friend, a wise woman. She speaks and acts entirely with her heart and is not only happy but proud to do so. Even in the face of manipulation and servitude she never lets go of who she is. It's true that she may not be intelligent in our conventional sense of science or technology but physically or emotionally? She's the smartest character in the entire series. And she knows that. She doesn't let anyone on Gallifrey trample over her or underestimate her unless there's strategic value in it.

Where most timelords focus on coldness, cruelty or impassivity, Leela is so beautifully compassionate and human. There are so many intricacies to Leela that I find myself relating to and hoping that I can embody- whether it be her strength or the way she speaks in truth and poem.

What is your favorite season of Gallifrey?

Here's one where I'll certainly have to give multiple answers.

Series 4, I think you'll find, is a favorite to most. It's incredibly creative and impressive in the way that it manages to explore each member of the main cast while also introducing brand new worlds. There's so many brilliant character moments, ideas, changes and not once does it lose itself.

Series 5 is a highlight for me because it gives Romana and Narvin good time to develop their relationship outside of the main trio/quartet. I also like that it gives Leela some time away from them to process everything thats happened and shake things up a bit before they all come back together in series 6.

The War Room series (I'm including 2 as well as I know I'll love it) I have really been enjoying so far. Leela is absolutely top notch in this section of Gallifrey and it's taken the series in a great direction. I really like seeing Narvin and Leela put in completely different positions from where we met them in the beginning. Narvin fighting against Gallifrey, Leela having to work with them, etc. It's stellar stuff and I can't wait to see where the War Room takes all of us.

What is your favorite episode of Gallifrey?

I would like to put it on record that the mods of this project have not made any of these questions easy for me. (/lh)

If I absolutely HAD to pick, I would choose Mindbomb from series 3. Mainly because it really is a Mindbomb. No, it's not the finale of series 3. But it wraps up a great deal of the political storm that has been brewing for the first couple of series in absolute spectacular fashion. There's hardly a moment where you're not getting some big-bang level revelation or back-and-forth taking place. Most importantly, amongst all of the excitability it still remains incredibly smart and true to all characters.

What are some of your favorite scenes/moments in Gallifrey?

In no particular order:

I mentioned Mindbomb being my favorite episode. The back-and-forth of trying to figure out who is president is a really engaging and electric scene. When I listen it, I imagine I'm feeling what football fanatics feel when they.. do good football stuff? Listen, I don't watch sports, I'm a giant nerd. But I get very hyped during that scene.

The dream sequence in 'Reborn' of course. It's outrageously funny and never fails to make me smile. I always keep an ear out for it, but there's a wonderful bit where you can still hear Lalla Ward laughing. Speaking of which- can I add the outtake from the scene as a bonus?

At the end of 'First Days of Phaidon', Leela and Narvin have a moment where they say they're temporary goodbyes. It's been a long time since either of them have seen one another, and they've both been figuring the other was dead. So it's a quite wholesome scene where they get a chance to acknowledge that their relationship has come so far that it doesn't need words anymore. Plus, we find out Narvin's been driving around an arcade machine this whole time.

[revenantghost]

which do you have a preference for? (the dub/sub poll)

Oh, it's the sub! Obviously the dub is excellent (Vash, Knives, and Roberto are stand-outs for me), but I feel like there are a lot of subtleties to the sub that really elevates it for me. There's a lot of character development in the voice acting and lines themselves that I think were difficult to translate fully, though they did an impressive job. (I think there's an interview on Youtube with JYB talking about how difficult this dub was compared to other dubs because the 3D animation made the lip movements so much more specific to the original sounds and shapes of the voice track) Wolfwood especially strikes me as having a more young Trimax flavor for me in the dub, and, uh. If one of my most recent reblogs wasn't telling, I like Trimax Wolfwood just a little bit. A tiny amount. Miniscule. Again, this isn't dunking on the dub--it's just a different flavor to me!

Also, on an objective note, the sound design is better in the sub! Something unfortunately got lost in translation (literally), and if you haven't watched the subbed version of episode twelve, you GOTTA!!! It especially sucks because Tristamp has some of the best sound design I've ever seen in an anime, and I want to shake whoever made that quality sacrifice

[anguis-sapphire]

for the series meme: pokemon reborn — @drpresto :}

Oh, the rambles you may have unleashed here. Thank you for this, friend, this really really means a lot ^-^

(source: this post by askboxmemes)

Give me a series & I’ll tell you..

❤ Favourite Male: Taka my beloved (platonically)!! He is a somewhat sad scarf man and I care about him greatly. As do many others, which makes me smile to see. I’m very very glad he comes back on Anna Route (and some Lin Routes, since I think the only requirements are Reshiram and victory at Pyrous?), even if it isn’t until Tier 5. In fact, I’m pretty sure the reason I downloaded Reborn myself in the first place was to get to experience Zekrom Route firsthand (because the playthrough I was watching ended up on Reshiram), and I wanted to do this so that Taka wouldn’t get killed off in my version of the game and so I could get what I thought at the time was a better or at least kinder ending (even if Anna Route - which needs Reshiram - has since become my favourite route now that episode 19 is out).

❤ Favourite Female: Funnily enough, Elena actually came to mind first for this, which is thanks to her combination of amazing personality and super pretty design AND awesome Trainer title and type specialities (haha no I’m not biased because my self-insert is also a Ghost-type specialist, what are you talking about). ..But all of that also applies to Luna, as well. And it would just feel wrong to not say Luna for this, especially given that Elena is present in the game for all of one postgame cutscene and that's it (which is REALLY a shame). So.. Luna. As my general track record of blogging on Tumblr in general probably indicates quite well. I just really really love her, okay?? ;w;

❤ Favourite Pairing: ..does Lunadri count because then if so Lunadri (i.e. my selfship with Luna). Going strictly by canon x canon, though.. maybe Julirini (Julia x Florinia)? Ayahardy is also a classic, as are the Agate Ace Triumvirate (though that's three, not a pairing) - the detail of Noel being commissioned for a wedding ring and Serra I think being commissioned for a wedding dress after the timeskip made me smile. However I can’t deny that the concept of- is it Solias? Solaris x Elias - is very amusing to me. Arcdrienn and Takace are both nice ideas as well, and I think Torialice and Noelumi would be cute too. ..Aaah, this game has so many neat potential pairings and that’s not even considering OC x canon ships and selfships, of which there are many (which I absolutely adore seeing and am not listing only out of not wanting to accidentally not mention one that I like)!!!

❤ Least Favourite Character: If it has to only be one, then.. Probably Sigmund. Other candidates would be Bennett and Elias (maybe for obvious reasons, but I’m afraid I still can’t shake the dislike despite their improvements in postgame), and Sirius, and then to a lesser extent Fern (though seeing how much other people like him has somewhat helped, things like the Beryl Bridge scene do not help him).

❤ who’s most like me: Hmm.. I'm not sure, actually! To tell you the truth, I struggle a bit with figuring out what I’m like in the first place, which makes answering questions like these very difficult.

❤ most attractive: ..I mean, again, I can't not mention Luna for this. She is very pretty and I love her (everyone interprets her outfits slightly differently but they always look really good). But then so is Elena. Perhaps this is something you may have been expecting.

❤ three more characters that I like: Ace is DEFINITELY one I have to mention here - they are just such a good addition to the cast and I love just about anything to do with them. I also care a lot about Anna and Noel - I think Noel is still very underrated, which i know is kind of the point, but still. Also Shelly, she is so good. And also Shade, I wish he was more present in the postgame honestly (although that might stem from the main quest featuring him, as in the one that shows some of his backstory, is the Jirachi quest, which is one of my least favourites because of all the needless Sigmund info). ..I could honestly mention half the cast here, to be fair, but I'll stop here because this is already such a long answer ;w;

..Oh crumbs this took something in the realm of a week to fill out and is probably several hundred words long. I apologise profusely. I hope you enjoy reading this even if it probably makes absolutely zero sense to you. Thank you very kindly for this opportunity, friend ;w;

[bestcommercialfishingpermits]

A Guide on Regulations for Commercial Fishing in the United States

Is your professional life in desperate need of a shake-up? Are you growing tired of the 9 to 5 rat race and wasting away your days in a cubicle? If you match this description, and you have a passion for angling, commercial fishing might offer you an exciting–if challenging–new career path. If you have ever watched an episode of “Deadliest Catch”, you know that the world of commercial and industrial fishing is a far cry from staring at a computer screen all day. While you get to work outside on a boat doing what you love, fishing commercially can also net you a sizable livelihood. On a global level, industrial fishing is a multi-billion dollar industry and in the United States, this line of work creates hundreds of thousands of jobs every year. Before you start gearing up your boat to cast your lines, however, you may want to acquaint yourself a bit with the regulations surrounding the commercial angling industry.

With so much money changing hands, and industry centered around the extraction of a natural resource from state and federal waters, it is really no wonder that industrial fishing is rather tightly regulated. This is the case for a couple of different, though equally important reasons. For one, commercial fishing is a dangerous enterprise. As you need to brave difficult conditions for long periods of time, often handling heavy, unwieldy equipment, it makes sense that there are permit requirements involved. An additional consideration to think about pertains to the conservation of our environment. Permits, quotas, and licenses can greatly aid in the reduction of overfishing practices, ensuring that future generations of commercial fishermen are able to earn a living on United States waters.

Commercial Fishing Permits at the State Level One of the great things about fishing as a hobby is that it can be done just about anywhere there is a body of water. To a certain degree, this is also true for fishing for commercial purposes. Most states, though especially those situated on the coast, will have a series of permits and licenses available for commercial and industrial fishing. As a general rule of thumb, state waters will constitute anything inland, as well as the area from zero to three nautical miles from shore. If you are planning to operate a commercial trapping or netting business on state waters, you will want to check with your state’s appropriate agency on what is needed to do so legally.

If you need state fishing permits, there are a couple of ways in which you can go about getting them. One option is to contact your state’s Department of Fish and Wildlife agency directly, either by visiting their website or an office location and tracking down a paper application. From there, you can fill it out by hand and mail it in for processing. Of course, as a business owner and operator, you probably do not have the free time required for such a tedious, arduous process. At the Commercial Fishing Permits Center, we make it easy to get the licenses and endorsements you need online. Simply locate your state in our easy-to-read navigation and you will find a landing page containing all of your state’s available fishing permits.

Obtaining Your Federal Fishing License Fishing commercially at the federal level will subject you to slightly different rules and regulations. As a fisherman, you understand that you will need to go where the fish are, and it is not unusual for that to mean fishing on federal waters. Everything from three to 200 nautical miles from land falls under federal jurisdiction. These waters are regulated by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA). As the United States is home to nearly 100,000 miles of coastline, federal waters are incredibly expansive, leaving the NOAA with a tall task.

One way in which the NOAA simplifies its considerable duties is by dividing its permit and license offerings by region. For example, you can obtain commercial angling permits for Alaska, the West Coast, the Pacific Islands, the Atlantic, and the South. Each of those aforementioned regions will have its own species-specific permits, e.g. Alaskan halibut or American lobster in New England.

By using our website, you can obtain all of the federal fishing permits you need. We offer easy-to-fill web forms for all major NOAA regions, making us a convenient, one-stop shop for your commercial fishing license needs. As a note, it is worth remembering that you will probably find yourself fishing on both federal and state glasses of water from time to time, so it is generally wise to have permits for both.

Work with Us Today! Take a moment or two to browse our website and see how we can help you. If you have any questions, please visit our helpful Frequently Asked Questions page, or contact one of our friendly customer service agents by phone or email today.

[writermuses]

About Kailani Maris

Age: 28

FC: Marilyn Lima

Fears: Failure and abandonment... also mummies but she won't talk about it

Height: 5'7

Role model(s): None really she said, 'I guess I'll go with Olympe de Gouges?"

Things they hate: Nothing really, she's shy but agreeable

They will love you if... you want to talk about history or your travels (or better yet take her with you when traveling)

Favorite film(s): Lore (2012)

Favorite tv show(s): She doesn't watch much television but does watch old episodes of Engineering an Empire sometimes? Kailani prefers books.

Kailani Maris was born in Spain and raised in Le Havre, France, mostly by her maternal grandparents. The stories she was told as a child were that her family had lived there in hiding during World War II and after the war they decided to stay. The city, according to them, never truly went back to its former glory after the war. As such, the family would travel around to other cities that had a war history and share more stories with her. Kai’s parents were never together, that she could recall, and her mother, from what she could recall, seemed to always have a hard time finding a place to work. So, when Kai was still in her pre-teen years, her grandparents took custody of her. It was a point of contention and one she would later learn was related to her parents substance abuse. This news would shake her, especially because all the family she had left passed away by the time she was nineteen.

She was faced with the daunting task of maintaining a relic of a home or starting fresh. Turning the home into a local wartime museum took a few years and a significant amount of research and help from family friends, but it ultimately succeeded. With a stable income, investors, and a drive to find her own purpose in life, Kai decided to move away and handle business through teleconferences and quarterly visits. Her new home, she decided, would be Canada.

Growing up in a small single family home in Montreal, Kai ended up only speaking Spanish with shop keepers or random tourists. While her Spanish waned, she became fluent in both French and English but after a few years she still felt like she was an outsider that lacked purpose. She continued to have an appreciation of art and history, traveling, and language, but no true sense of self. She was bashful and awkward. Most people that knew her described her as quick to laugh and having her head in the clouds. Little did they know, the girl with a camera around her neck and a book in her purse was actually quite smart and analytical.

With encouragement from the board of her museum, she practiced, took the SATs, and wrote an amazing essay that got her accepted into Cornell. Though the transition back into education wasn’t easy for her, especially as a non-traditional student, she’s been enjoying her time there. With encouragement from her classmates, Kailani is finally starting to get out and enjoy what is left of her twenties by taking weekends to the city, hiking the mountains, and checking out the historic venues available along the East Coast. Kai tends to live in the moment and has a difficult time focusing on a distant future or the grief in her past.

[vincentferard]

Outline for a comic about maladaptive daydreaming and clones

next panel = ---

The official definition/classification of maladaptive daydreaming lists it as a condition that causes people to daydream excessively to the point that it interferes with their daily lives

---

Despite this, a lot of people don't seem to take maladaptive daydreaming seriously. They say that it's not as serious as people are making it out to be, state that people just want something to blame their laziness on

---

But those people have never had to deal with it before. They've never had it as their main coping mechanism throughout most of their life

---

I started maladaptive daydreaming when I was around eight or nine as a coping mechanism to deal with all the abuse and other difficult things I was going through

---

It was always either centered around The Lord Of The Rings book series or The Clone Wars. Most of the time it was The Clone Wars

---

When I first saw the TV series I had found the entire first season on DVD at a swap meet and watched it over and over again... To the point that I actually had almost every episode memorized

---

As I watched it I got extremely attached to four characters.

---

They seemed so nice and genuine and cared about their brothers so much and I found myself wishing that they were my brothers

---

Maybe, if they were really real and they were my brothers then they'd be able to help and protect me from everything i was going through

---

And so I subconsciously started to maladaptive daydream, pretending they were my big brothers, pretending that they were actually there for me

---

I had an oversized helmet from target that repeated lines when you pressed a button.

---

It was my favorite

---

As I grew up I still pretended they were my brothers, up until I was about 16

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Whenever I had a bad day at school or was stressing

---

Or I had to visit my dad for the summer

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Or when my knees got permanently busted bad

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They were always there for me

---

And what did I do when the show itself caused me sadness and grief?

---

I found comfort in my brothers

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Twice

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Around the age of 17 things started to get better for a little while and I stopped daydreaming as much. I still loved my brothers, I just didn't think about them as much

---

Then I was 19, almost 20, and things started getting bad again.

---

I went right back to the same coping mechanisms as before and I found comfort in my brothers (even the ones who weren't technically there anymore)

---

And now I'm almost 22, and it's still the same. Sure, things are a *lot* better now

---

I have my fur babies and my wonderful, loving partner

---

But some days I wake up and something seems wrong or like something's missing

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I go about my day and I can't shake this horrible feeling of loneliness and/or depression. and I can never figure it out until it finally hits me

---

I'm missing my brothers.

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It's all well and good because I can go and rewatch the show whenever...it never fixes the feeling though

---

I miss my brothers

---

But...how can I miss people that never really existed in the first place?

[boysplanetrecaps]

Build Up Episode 2 Recap: Something Like That

Welcome back to my recaps for the MNET show Build Up. In the previous one, we covered the performance of Tomboy from episode 2. In this one, we’ll continue with episode 2 and cover the performance of Something Like That. Let’s do it! 

So, this song is originally by a woman named Park Hwayobi, whose is often known as just Hwayobi. She’s been called the Korean Queen of R&B and she’s credited as a singer songwriter, though I don’t know if she writes all of her songs or just some of them. She’s been putting out music pretty steadily since 2000, with her most recent song coming out in 2021. I think she’s currently mired in some sort of contract dispute with her former agency, and that might be why she hasn’t put out any songs in a few years. 

The song Something Like That is apparently also known as What’s Going on. I found a video for it on Youtube, which apparently was filmed on a potato and then recorded on a piece of Laffy Taffy for posterity, so watch it at your own risk. Musically, it sounds like a song Toni Braxton might have sung in the late 90s or early 2000s. Lyrically, t’s a breakup song, kind of akin to Don’t Speak  by No Doubt. Sample lyrics: 

After walking some distance/ You'll turn around to give me a glance won't you / With that, just like the old days / You'll come to me and hug me with a smile won't you?

You really liked me once, you had treasured me so much / No, I'm going to believe / that something like never seeing you again / will never happen

Though the song itself is pretty old, it’s been covered many times, as the editors of Build Up point out, including a 2023 version sung by Paul Blanco, who I know nothing about but appears to be male. In other words, this won’t be the first time that men sing this song. 

The judges joke a bit about how difficult the song is to sing, noticing as if for the first time that all the songs are hard. I mean, isn’t that the point? 

Flashback to the beginning of the mission. We see a little montage of all the groups meeting each other, shaking hands, being a little silly, getting to know each other. 

Then we see Team Something Like That and they’re just sitting there, looking kinda beige. 

Finally, Taehwan from Vanner, the most colorful of them, asks everyone about their ages, so they can establish their pecking order. 

Left to right: Ma Jae Kyung, Kwon Euibin, Taehwan, Lee Minwook

Turns out that Taehwan is the oldest, at 30 years old, and Minwook is the youngest, at 24. 

We didn’t see much of any of these four in the first episode, so here’s a brief recap of who they are. See my Episode 0 recaps for more info on everyone. 

Jaekyung used to be the main vocal of a group called Romeo, performing under the name of Kyle. He was V25 and I didn’t love his super nasal tone and wobbly vibrato, but maybe he’ll surprise me next time!

Euibin is a trainee who has been on other shows. He was V35, and I thought his voice was sweet and pretty, but he strained on some of the higher notes and occasionally got a little shouty. 

Taehwan was shown on camera a ton in episode 1, but we didn’t hear much from him. He’s from a group called Vanner that actually seems to be on the up and up. He was V13 and I thought he sounded a bit pinched and nasal, but he has a warm, textured voice -- a lot of talent, maybe less training. 

Minwook is from a group called Newkidd. He was V9, a ballad I actually kind of liked. He sang completely live with apparently just a guitar, and I liked how much warmth he put into his lower notes. I didn’t get to hear much belting or upper register, but I liked what he did already a lot.

It’s kind of interesting that Jaekyung and Taehwan are in this group together, since they were both in groups that competed on Peaktime last year. But they might not have met during that competition, since it was group based and they might not have mixed. 

Keeping with the theme of seeing very little of any of these four, we see almost nothing about them during their rehearsal period. They’re portrayed as boring and stiff and pale when they meet, and then we go almost immediately to the performance, with the on-screen caption, “What would the emotional ballad Something Like That be like interpreted by these four?” It’s dripping with sarcasm. Thanks, editors. Theditors. 

Taehwan, their leader, introduces the team as Four J, and they all make J shapes with their legs.

LTR: Kwon Euibin, Lee Minwook, Taehwan, Ma Jaekyung

They explain that the name is based off their MBTI -- they’re all “J”s. 

Backstage, Jay Chang says he’s also a J/Jay, and when Solar says “I love J,” Jay says, “Thank you!” making Geonu laugh. 

The members introduce themselves one by one, starting with Euibin. He speaks in a kind of monotone, saying, “If you hear it once, you’ll remember my voice”. His words appear as a caption on-screen with periods in between each syllable, and the editors add a pixelated noise, as if he’s a robot. 

Backstage, some of the guys are laughing, but I don’t think it’s mean spirited. They say, “he’s so nervous!” and shout that he’s cute. 

Next is Ma Jaekyung, who says he wants to serenade us. He says he’s a former member of Romeo. 

Taehwan introduces himself as the main vocal of Vanner and says he’s a human cider. Ok, let me explain. In Korea, a “cider” is a soda like 7up or Sprite, not the alcoholic apple juice. In slang terms, the feeling of the word cider is of refreshment in general, especially if someone says something that perfectly expresses what you’re feeling. Here’s more on that, if you’re interested. 

Baekho asks Taehwan if he went on a survival program recently, and Taehwan confirms that he did, with a smile. Baekho says that Taehwan’s grades on that show were good, and yes, they were! Vanner actually won Peak Time. We see a clip of other contestants approaching Taehwan during the first episode to congratulate him on Vanner’s win. 

Baekho says, Your team already has a reputation for good singing…? And Taehwan says that he wants to be known personally for his singing. He’s a cutey, isn’t he? 

Lee Minwook introduces himself as “Sweet but full of ambition -- Lee Minwook of Newkidd.” The judges ask him why he came on the show, and he says that his group debuted during Covid-19 and have never really done any proper team activities. Everyone says “waaa… aigoohh” 

It’s almost as if these guys have really interesting backstories, MNET? And maybe we could have spent some time getting to know them? 

Oh, but we’re not going to do that? Just going to briefly show a few still images of Newkidd and then go straight into the … oh, no time, here we go!

Here’s the link without all the reactions. 

My thoughts:

Oof, what a cheesy arrangement, with bad sound mixing that was actively fighting the vocals. But the vocals themselves were mostly pretty fantastic. Lot of good stuff here. 

Minwook was occasionally slightly pitchy at the start, but he warmed up and got better as he went. He had a lovely vocal color, with sweet high notes. His belts later on in the song were fantastic. Really, really great stuff. 

Jaekyung was a lot less nasal than he was in his teaser performance, and none of that ultra-wobbly vibrato. Just a really great performance.

Euibin may well have been quite nervous, because he was pitchy and nasal for his first two sections of singing. His vocals got cleaner and cleaner as he went, and we could hear some of the excellent technique and lovely vocal color that must have earned him a spot on the show. That one belt toward the end, during the key change, was amazing. His last line was a tiny bit pitchy again, though. Also, he never varied his facial expression. 

Here’s Taehwan. Uh oh, guys, I think I have another bias. Slightly older with an appealing smile? Check. Voice that gives me shivers? Check and check. Ok, his first line or two were maybe slightly pitchy but then he got into it and it was amazing. I’ve listened to this a few times, not looking at the screen so I’m just hearing the voices, and every time it’s Taehwan’s turn I’m like ahhhh. Like when you stick your cold feet into the warm water of a jacuzzi. Ahhh. I know I said in my initial write up that I didn’t think he had as much training as some of the others, but I take that back. This guy knows how to sing. I know I’m not saying anything of substance but I just like his vocal color so much.

All four of them are great, and Jaekyung and Minwook are excellent, but Taehwan is superb. 

Side note: what is this weird liminal place they’re performing in front of? Just this mostly empty room with egg-sized raindrops beating down on the garage door sized windows.

The MNET edit lets us know that all this singing is good.

Soomin likes the singing. I think. I guess?

Solar likes the singing. I think. I guess?

We hear some instant replays of Euibin’s big note during the key change, but otherwise they’re pretty restrained. 

When they’re done, the judges applaud, and backstage, the boys wonder who could even be chosen as top tier in a group where all of them were so good. 

Jaehwan leads things off by praising how smooth and effortless Minwook’s singing was as he went through the song.

Baekho tells Taehwan that this is the first time he’s really heard Taehwan sing, like really sing, and he was so happy to hear his real real voice. VCG agrees. 

Eunkwang points out that Euibin did a great job with those high notes in the middle, but that the first two sections he sang were a bit disappointing. Ok, for once I agree with Eunkwang.  Mark your calendars. 

We don’t hear anything about Jaekyung, good or bad. 

So who will the top tier be?

Baekho votes for Euibin. VCG votes for Taehwan. Solar, Eunkwang, and Jaehwan vote for Minwook. 

I can’t be mad at it -- he did an excellent job. Congratulations, Minwook! You deserve it.

See, Taehwan says congratulations, too!

Minwook says he really didn’t expect to win. He’s stunned. He says it’s his first time winning first place and that it’ll probably be one of the most important events of his life. 

Then we have a preview of awfulness to come. Sigh. 

The next song up is going to be Sum (Breath). I’ll see you then and there! Thanks as always for reading. <3