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silverwings22 · 5 months

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Song of the Sea: Chapter 43: The Dead Don't Die

Series Warning: explicit smut, alien anatomy (it's a monsterfucker fic, guys), major character injury, grief, canon typical violence, autistic meltdowns, and my terrible attempts at Mando'a Chapter Warnings: PTSD/trauma, trauma bonding, suicidal ideation, disability, biological weaponry, grief

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“Clone Force 99 is dead. It died when Tech did. You should know that better than anyone.”

“If it’s dead, then… then Tech’s not…”

Shiani couldn’t get the conversation out of her head. She didn’t know what hurt more, the idea that Crosshair believed what they had been was dead… or that it might be true.

Tech had believed in Clone Force 99. He’d told her a thousand stories about his brothers and the bond that made them what they were. The elite, undefeated, unstoppable team of brothers who’d never failed a mission or lost a solider during the whole war. When Shiani had joined them, she could only watch his rueful expression when he said their sudden string of failure could only be attributed to Crosshair’s loss.

“He’ll come back one day, Tech. I know he will. He’s a part of the Bad Batch!”

“I do hope you are correct, cyar’ika. Clone Force 99 is… incomplete.”

Incomplete. Not dead. But Crosshair hadn’t been dead during that discussion. He’d only been missing. Tech was dead. Tech was gone forever. Tech was-

“You okay, Shiani? You’ve been really quiet lately.” Omega startled her, plopping down on the ship steps next to her.

“Yes, I’m okay.” Shiani sighed, lifting her arm and putting it around the girl. “Just lots of thoughts.”

“They look like sad thoughts. Your head tentacles get all droopy when you’re sad.” Omega put her head against the siren’s shoulder. “Are you thinking about Tech?”

“I always think about Tech.” Shiani sighed, pressing a kiss to Omega’s hair. “He’d be so proud of you, you know?” She forced a smile, and Omega might have been able to tell it was fake but she knew the siren meant what she’d said. Tech would have been proud. Omega had finished what he’d started, and brought the family together safely again.

Now they just had to keep it that way.

“Echo hasn’t called yet.” Omega sighed, showing her the screen of her comm. “I’m getting worried…”

“Too much worry will stunt your growth.” Shiani squished her, three times and lightly. “You’re barely hold enough to hunt.”

“The Empire’s hunting me.” The girl grumbled. “I need to find out why. Rex and Echo lost most of their men on Teth, and there’s got to be some way to help them.”

“The best way you can help them is to lay low.” They both looked up to find Crosshair standing in front of them, arms cross and a toothpick in his mouth. “Staring at your comm won’t make him call you any father.”

“There was nothing in Tech’s files about the M-count thing, so I asked for help.” Shiani patted Omega on the shoulder.

Crosshair glanced at the siren. The two of them hadn’t spoken much since they’d gotten back from Teth, just going through the motions of the day to day. “You have friends other than us?” He asked, surprised.

Shaini scrunched her face at him. “Rude.”

He rolled his eyes. “I mean where did you make a friend? You’re always with us.”

Before she could answer, Wrecker poked his head out. “Shiani, Phee is on the comm.”

“Oh good.” She pushed herself up and limped up the steps.

Crosshair looked at Omega. “Who?”

“She’s a liberator of ancient wonders.” Omega smiled brightly. Crosshair looked wholly unimpressed and cocked an eyebrow until she sighed. “A pirate. She’s a pirate.”

They both followed Shiani up into the ship, finding the siren already talking to a pretty dark skinned woman. “I looked into that M-count thing you asked about. It wasn’t easy.”

“I still appreciate the effort. Did you find anything?”

“Only that some class-one bounty hunters are picking up high M-count targets for the Empire. That’s all I could find.”

“But what do they even want?” Hunter grumbled.

“Don’t look at me. Tech’s brain was the vault, not mine.” Phee shrugged. “For anything else, you’ll have to ask a bounty hunter.”

Shiani’s expression dropped at the mention of her mate’s name. She never wanted to shy away from talking about him, but the cold shock sometimes hit her as the loss hit her all over again. She could never say it was sudden remembrance, the memory never went away.

Hunter and Wrecker exchanged looks. “We’ll need to find a bounty hunter.”

Omega raised an eyebrow. “What about Fennec?”

For the second time today, Crosshair cocked his head to the side. “Who?”

“Tried to take Omega on Pantora, right after we left Kamino.” Shiani sighed. “She was working for Nala Se to protect Omega… but targets change. Can’t trust her around Omega with so much money at stake.”

Hunter nodded. “Wrecker and I will go. Crosshair, you stay with Omega and Shiani.”

Shiani nodded, less than thrilled to be left behind, but her mind was whirring. “Any idea where she is, Phee?”

“I’ll get you the coordinates.” The pirate said kindly.

“Thank you.” She shoved herself up again. “I’m getting my toolkit. If I’m gonna be stuck outside all day, I’ve got something I want to work on.”

Crosshair frowned as she grabbed the large, rolling toolbox, and went to help her get it down the ramp. “What the hell are you planning?”

Once they were out, Hunter knelt in front of Omega. “I know you and Shiani hate this, with us splitting up. But it’s too dangerous right now, especially if a bounty hunter is involved.”

She sighed. “I know…”

“I’ve got a mission for you, while we’re gone. See if you can get Crosshair to get his hand looked at… ignoring the problem won’t make it go away.”

Omega nodded again and looked out the ramp to see Crosshair leaning over Shiani while she started inventorying her tools while he gave her a suspicious look.

“I’ll see what I can do.” The girl nodded. “Be careful.”

“We will. Promise.”

Shiani had been working, sitting under the big tree at the top of Upper Pabu, for hours. She’d plugged her welding torch into a solar cell and had a disassembled blaster laid out, gutted, with vials and test tubes sitting around her.

“That better not be my sidearm.” Crosshair’s shadow eclipsed her, and she looked up with her welding goggles still on. It made her look even more googly-eyed, and made him think of Tech when they were cadets.

“It’s not. It’s a spare we had in the back.” She mumbled around a curved, mouthguard shaped duraplast cup in her mouth that was filling with some kind of yellowish liquid.

“The fuck are you doing?” He sighed, sitting down next to her.

She took the cup from her mouth and set it beside her. “Making a weapon that can even take down one of those operatives.” She started loading hypodermic needles into a clip she’d modified.

“You can’t be thinking about fighting them. You saw what happened on Teth. He took out most of the base by himself before Wolffe’s men even got there.”

“I know.” Shiani poured the cup of venom into a test tube and attached it to the back of the blaster stock. “How’d your checkup with AZI go?”

“You’re deflecting.” He huffed, lowering himself to the ground beside her and pulling out a toothpick.

“So? What did he say about your hand?”

“The droid doesn’t know a goddamn thing. It says there’s nothing wrong with my hand physically and it’s all in my head.” Crosshair growled.

“And you find that surprising?” Shiani paused from her work, giving him an incredulous look.

“You think I’m crazy?” He looked positively mutinous.

“I think you’re traumatized.” She pushed the welding goggles up on top of her head with a sigh. “I remember everything Tech ever told me about you. You’re brave. You’re a fighter, you don’t run or hide. But whatever happened to you, you won’t even talk about it to your own family. You only talk to me because I’m just as broken as you are and you know it.”

He rubbed his right hand with his left, eyes dropping. He’d thought she’d write him off as a coward, with the droid saying the shakes were mental. “It’s not in my head.” He muttered stubbornly after a minutes.

“Yes it is.” Shiani huffed and lightly swatted him with a tentacle on the knee. “You know how I know?”

“How?” He glared at her.

“You said Clone Force 99 died with Tech.” She narrowed her eyes when she looked back at him. “Not when you got separated. Not when you didn’t come home. When Tech died.’

“I know what I sa-”

“So you think whatever made Clone Force 99 special could still go on without you, for a long time, but couldn’t go on without him.” She swallowed hard. “And you volunteered twice on Teth to stay behind and hold the line until we could get away. Once in the spire and once in the jungle. You want to protect the family, but you’re just like me. If someone has to, you want to be the one that dies.”

The simple truth slapped him in the face, Shiani’s eyes fixed on him to make sure he couldn’t escape it. “... it’s what I deserve.” He finally said. “Tech didn’t.”

“You deserve peace, Crosshair. Tech didn’t make the choice to go to Eriadu for anyone but you. Plan 99 was a result of that.”

“Then what did you do it for?” He watched her test the weight and calibrate a few more things before removing the grip of the blaster and start fixing it to her vambrace, looking more like traditional Mandalorian Whistling Birds than anything resembling the blaster she’d started with.

“I went for the same reason I did everything. For Tech.” She unwrapped her still bruised wrist and snapped the vambrace on, flexing as she checked the mechanics of the modified trigger she could now operate with her thumb.

He sighed. Of course she had done it for Tech… she loved the dead clone more than anything in the galaxy. She’d be loyal to that memory until the day she joined him. It was both heart shattering and a little inspiring… what a love that must have been to see in person. He already knew Tech had looked at her like the siren hung the stars in the sky. How had Shiani looked at his brother? Like he was the warmth of the sun on the water’s surface?

“So what’s the big idea behind dismantling a perfectly good DC-17?” He couldn’t make himself ask about Tech again, turning his eyes to the weapon.

“I can’t fight the way I used to. I can’t get close enough to bite and be fast enough to get away… but I can turn venom into darts.” She smiled faintly. “No matter what they do to those operatives, they’re still flesh and blood. Even if they replace every limb with metal, the chest, neck, and head must still be human. And that means I can take them down with this.”

“That’s batshit fucking crazy chemical warfare. I like it.” Crosshair chuckled. “And Omega thinks I need therapy.”

“You do. This is my therapy.” She started to pack up her tools. “You should try whatever Omega’s suggesting. She’s usually pretty right about stuff.”

He glanced up, spotting Omega making a beeline for them. “I’ll cut you a deal. Whatever she suggests, you do it too. If you do, I won’t tell Hunter you’re violating several articles of the Coruscanti Convention about biological warfare agents.”

She huffed. “You’re such a jerk.”

“Make your choice, squidlett. She’s almost here.”

“Fine.”

Omega popped up with a smile. “I’ve got an idea, but you’re going to have to trust me.”

“I’m not going to like this, am I?” Crosshair sighed, looking at Shiani.

“You don’t like anything.” Both Omega and Shiani said at the same time.

“... true.” He sighed. “But squidlett is doing it too.”

Omega had dragged them down the beach, to a place where sand became stone and the setting sun illuminated everything in golds and purples against the darkening blue. The two clones sat cross legged, though Shiani had slid to the edge and let her feet dangle into the water while she watched the sunset.

Crosshair was skeptical, eying Omega out of the corner of his eye. “And you think this is going to work?”

“Your trouble is in your mind, right? So this will help you heal. Now adjust your position and relax.”

Shiani put her hands, palm up, on her knees like Omega had shown her. Crosshair still didn’t look convinced. “Where did you even learn this?”

“My friend Gungi, on Kashyyyk.” Omega looked at Shiani. She was less vocal than Crosshair about her lack of faith in meditation, but she just seemed to be staring into space. “You’ve gotta try, Shiani.”

“You’ve been to Kashyyyk?” Crosshair frowned.

“You missed a lot.” Omega put her hand over his trembling one and turned it palm up, holding it gently. It may have been the gentlest gesture he’d ever received, and he could only stare at her hand on his for a long time before deciding to take this seriously.

“I know.” He closed his eyes. He had missed so much, and he hated that he had. He could have found a begrudging peace that was currently warming his chest under his armor a long time ago.

Omega turned her attention to Shiani. The siren’s big eyes looked misty, faraway but open, as she seemed to be silently lost in her thoughts. It was as much meditation as Omega could get out of her, and let herself drift off as well.

Shiani had tried, she really had, to find peace. She had tried to sink into a floating, suspended state and think of the things that had once made her happy. Swimming at the colorful, lively reef with Tech. Laying on the beach or in the bunk, curled up against Tech while she listened to him breathe. Listening to him talk. Building something with him. Just looking at him while he did literally anything at all…

Everything came back to him. How the hell did she find peace when she couldn’t think of anything in the galaxy she’d been happy during that he wasn’t the center of? What did it say about her that she didn’t know how to be without him.

Tech. It’s always Tech. It’ll always be Tech, no matter how many new memories I make. The best ones will always be the ones he’s in…

There was something icy cold and depressing about the realization she’d never be that happy again. He had his hand inside her ribcage, holding all three hearts in his hand, for the rest of her life. Even she didn’t understand how he’d taken over her life without her putting up a fight.

When the tears leaked down her cheeks, she didn’t bother trying to stop them. Maybe crying was what she needed, to let all the hurt out like a flood that swallowed Kamino long ago. Pabu might need the water… if it didn’t, it wouldn’t notice a little more.

When she finally looked around, Crosshair and Omega looked content as they leaned slightly against each other and watched the sunset. The sniper was coming to terms with the idea of just… being, whoever he turned out to be when the orders and skills and duty were stripped away. Omega looked happy she was helping the brother she loved so much, who’d been through so much for so long.

Shiani hadn’t found peace, but she did see a purpose. She’d die without question for Omega and her brothers, if that was what it took.

#explict #original character #clone force 99 #the bad batch #star wars #fanfic #tbb tech #song of the sea

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