Tumgik
#shae is innocent
ride-thedragon · 1 year
Text
NETTLES AND THE IDEA OF INNOCENCE
Tumblr media
Innocence, especially for women in asoiaf has a particular place in their perception.
Innocence in our world holds a very similar place.
When a character is innocent, you want better for them because any turmoil they go through is undeserved, and by the rules of both societies, it should allow them to be exalted from hardships.
So when it comes to such a small character like Nettles the idea of her innocence is perpetuated past the character we have because she is exalted from the concequence of what she is accused of in the narrative and is redeemed from all the hardship she faces towards the beginning when she claims a dragon.
But I don't think that's fair or correct so I want to go over some things we know and hear about her that people use to defend this idea of innocence and come to the conclusion that even though she is innocent it's not in the way typically attributed to her.
1. Nettles and Sheep:
Her relationship to this animal is a fun metaphor to understand her. Nettles trades sheep to gain her dragon Sheepstealer. Nettles trades innocence for power.
"Lambs have always been sacrificial animals. From the Ancient Greeks and Romans to Christians and even later civilizations, lambs were used for sacrifice to a higher purpose. In most cases, it was the sacrifice to Gods.These are the qualities that make lambs so symbolic. "
"They are a sign of innocence, purity, vulnerability, and sacrifice. Many of these symbols overlap with the symbolism of youth."
The idea of innocence is something that her taming Sheepstealer inherently corrupts. She slaughters sheep every day to get close enough to establish a bond to him. It's a continued effort to trade innocence for power, and because dragons make Targaryens closer to gods than men, the idea is that she's offering a sacrifice to a 'god' to gain power.
I'll link my post about this parallel she has to sheep further.
Another thing is that she's young, and that plays a part in what she is absolved from in the narrative because of the nativity and ability to grow with the potential of youth.
2. Nettles and The Cost of Power:
The regression of this trade for power comes after Driftmark is sacked and burned. In the war effort that Nettles largely contributed to, she loses her friend and her home. We are told her reaction to the loss is crying through the soot on her face so hard it leaves streaks. As with what happens consistently in mythology, the protagonist reaps benefits and consequences in the quest for power. The cost of gaining that power was fighting in the war, something she knew would happen. The fact that it came at the cost of her closest known relationship at the time as well as the place she grew up and had to leave behind to join the war effort is conceivable but not predictable for anyone to know. Especially not a 16 year old girl.
3. Nettles and King's Landing:
A while back, I drew attention to the fact that in the book, we have no real evidence that Nettles had any of the promises made to the Dragon Claimers kept to her. No marriages, lands, or knighthood equivalents are given to her in the wake of the fight. A lot of people use this as a way to say she's innocent because she believes in a cause and is sticking by it. That doesn't seem accurate towards the situation. King's Landing is the capital at that moment for punishing treason. She's a young, grieving girl, experiencing the price of power in a place where her refusal to fight or her running away will be met with a death warrant. Nettles has a nose scar for stealing allegedly. She's one of the characters we know understands the cost of disobedience in this world. She is a cost they'd be willing to pay. Even with her dragon adding to her necessity during the war, they're executing Noble men at that time. Nettles' entire life in juxtaposition to their's is incredibly small. Whether or not she cared about gaining anything (I like to think they gave her money), it's very clear that it's a weary time with major consequences for defiance or treason.
4. Nettles and Daemon:
This is the one people use this idea of innocence the most frequently for. "Nettles was innocent of the accusation made against her (sleeping with Daemon, not witchcraft), and Rhaenyra was influenced and turned against her."
Nettles doesn't need to be innocent for what Rhaenyra did to be wrong. The men who defend Nettles against the decree say that Nettles is wrong but young and shouldn't be killed for that. They conceded that the idea of treason is fair, but the idea surrounding it with the spell implications is simply incorrect and will make Daemon kill them if executed. Daemon is the sole person who puts her in danger and saves her in this narrative for his own character arc. Nettles isn't innocent, but she is young. She has her life ahead of her and has done everything that is expected of her. She isn't punished for love by the narrative. It saves her life and allows her to escape the trapping of power altogether, something she never returns to traditionally.
She does return to it with the burned men, but entirely away from the system, she originally gained that power from.
5. Nettles and Treason:
She did commit treason. That's not an innocent thing. It quite literally required her sleeping with a married prince. Whether or not she's a virgin (we'll get to it) in this world, giving into sex outside of marriage or prostitution as a woman is framed as wrong because of the value of virtue for women. With someone like Nettles, she'd know it's a bad thing and still proceeds with it. While as prince consort and a man Daemon will never dare a lick of concequence for adultery, Nettles would, and treason isn't a far stretch for the crime. Even with the understanding that Daemon would protect her, that they seemingly have, it's not okay. (It is to me. She's completely innocent.)
6. Nettles and Virginity:
Virtue is a currency in this world. Sleeping with a girl and deflowering is seen as a commodity and milestone. Virtue for women is posed as an added value. Without it, as we see in the books, women without maidenheads are seen as a lesser offer often beneath the standard of noble men.
Nettles is not ever positioned as a virgin. In this world, it's a logical conclusion to draw that she is not and would've traded sex for food or money. I'm not saying that happened, but if it did, there seems to be a stigma that it makes her lesser character in the story and / or denies her own autonomy by demeaning her. With the way it is presented in the narrative, it's a fair conclusion to draw. It's said to deter the idea that Daemon would sleep with her because she isn't even worth it, and that's my issue with the she should be virtuous reading.
It falls into the temptation of a character doing what she must to survive being a way to demean her. Nettles was surviving every day before the sowing. Her having sex, prostitution or just because she could, should not shroud her character in any world. Nettles can exist as both a critical view of how Westeros treats girls like her and as an autonomous character who chooses whether or not to have sex given her situation without it being demeaning or derogatory towards her as a character.
7. Nettles and Sex Work:
To add on, sex work is often demonized in this world, and because of the poor class of women often in these positions who are quite young and have no real alternative. Nettles as a character would exist in contradiction to the narrative of not only sex workers who die or are brutalized in that life, think book Shae, Show Roz. She'd also be the one who is actively saved by the class of people who often perpetuate this system of abuse they exist in.
Nettles isn't in it anymore or has once been preyed on by the entrapping cycle that brothels perpetuate but escapes and makes her own way. She's foul-mouthed and marred because of it, but she also becomes a dragonrider, and then when she has sex it's because she wants to.
When the narrative tries to condemn her for it, she's saved by the person who puts her in that position, unlike the other girls, like Tysha, Nettles' value isn't placed on her past sexual partners, and she is like the other girls who fall victim to the predatory sex work establishments in ASOIAF, but she escapes and isn't punished in the narrative for sleeping with someone or trying to survive in the first place. Something we don't really see in this world.
Overall,
The overarching angle of innocence pushed on her character is extremely strange and does not benefit her as a character. Innocence in this world is based on patriarchal feudalism that commodifies women into property and places value on them like stock that depreciates with superficial nonsense.
Question this world.
Nettles isn't innocent and shouldn’t have to be to deserve the ending she gets. She can just escape because she learns and grows and is young enough to do it without major consequences for her.
Nettles is innocent however, in the narrative of a poor, homeless girl with nothing, accomplishing a tremendous feat and gaining power from it, being used in wars and fights that have nothing to do with her and having the threat of death looming if she doesn't comply.
In being used as a means to an end in a conflict between the two most powerful people in the realm and escaping without any permanent concequence to her. She's not guilty.
Let girls have fun and be complex characters in their narratives. Innocence isn't a necessity, but even if it was for you to like her, she is, in a sense, innocent.
81 notes · View notes
diamondperfumes · 1 year
Text
Suffering is seen as a moral virtue worthy of an endgame leading to redemption, survival, and thriving for almost every character except Cersei, Daenerys, and Tyrion.
I have seen the argument that "they suffer, and struggle, and their romantic ideals shatter when they face the reality of the world" being applied to Jaime, Theon, Sandor, all of the Starklings (Jon Snow included), some of the Martells (if people are not busy theorizing that they'll be "punished" for wanting the same vengeance that the Starks seek for their family), and the Tullys, Greyjoys, Baratheons, and Lannisters in general. Even the likes of Septon Meribald.
Why is suffering not a virtue for Cersei, Dany, and Tyrion though? Why are they automatically pockmarked with the "irredeemable beyond a point of return?" In fact, the same people who claim that ASOIAF asks the reader to believe in second chances, forgiveness, and that the characters are morally gray, will use all kinds of progressive reasons for why Cersei, Dany, and Tyrion are problematic, unforgivable, and worthy of dying.
Self-hatred, trauma, and romantic idealism being deconstructed are common themes in most character's arcs, and thus most of these characters who endure such things are seen as worthy of surviving and living because they invoke empathy in the reader. "Why should XYZ die after reclaiming their desire to live." "Why should XYZ die when their whole life they have hated themselves for not living up to the ideals they were taught." Much of this applies directly to Dany and Tyrion especially, and yet it's not enough, because there'll always be some liberal, progressive, or feminist reason why they deserve to die anyway.
Sometimes, when this is pointed out, people will switch from "a character suffering and struggling their whole lives and dying is meaningless" to "even if a character is good and heroic, and they suffered, their death isn't meaningless because they died for a good cause." People use the latter argument for Dany and Tyrion especially. The same people who'd express anger and accuse you of lacking empathy and understanding of the core themes of ASOIAF if you said XYZ should die to redeem themselves, turn around and argue tooth and nail that Dany and Tyrion dying is just right because their sacrifice will save the world and their legacy will render their deaths meaningful.
I don't have a grand conclusion to this. I'm simply ruminating on a pattern I've observed. Which characters are deemed worthy of survival and life and which ones are deemed unworthy of it? Why is redemption limitless and self-replicating, something that you can pick up on when a new day comes even if you failed the day before, for most of the fandom favorites, the so called teenage girl-coded male characters especially, but it is limiting, strict, and bound by social justice norms for how "good" characters "should" act, and how "bad" characters "should" be punished, for Dany, Tyrion, and Cersei?
14 notes · View notes
loser-user-noaccuser · 8 months
Text
Jas gets to hear more of my R̶̙̠̻͊̈́̽ą̶́̔̌͝ṫ̷̜̳̭̩̇͗̔̓ͅs̴͇͋͘͜ impression while i play this game
3 notes · View notes
mynameismckenziemae · 3 months
Text
A Little Bit Stronger
Part 1
(next part here)
Bradley Rooster Bradshaw x OFC
Summary:
Fear is the only thing Shae Williams feels after years of abuse at the hands of her ex-husband. After an encounter where he nearly takes her life, she’s finally free of him…until he finds out where she’s staying. Fear forces her to take the help of the only person who’s offered and is introduced to Bradley Bradshaw in the process.
The last thing Shae needs right now is a relationship and the fact that Bradley understands and respects her wishes makes him that much harder to resist.
Tumblr media
Warnings: Just like everything else / write/post: this story is for 18+ only. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. It will contain smut, adult themes, situations and language. Please also note this story may be triggering due to the topic of domestic abuse (physical, emotional, sexual) violence-feel free to message me with any questions before reading.
*This is the Bradley from All of Me (Jake and Reese’s story). You should be able to be read as a stand-alone but it doesn’t hurt to start there.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
2 months prior.
“Why don’t you stay here for a few minutes,” Chad sneers, pushing his seed back inside you that’s beginning to leak out. He’s not gentle; it hurts, causing tears to prick at your eyes, but you refuse to wince, “give my swimmers a few extra minutes to find that egg,” he laughs.
They won’t. The Depo injection you got a few weeks ago at Planned Parenthood after Chad had found your hidden birth control pills will prevent that. It would be a cold day in hell before you brought an innocent child into this mess. The bruises from that beating were nearly healed now.
“Okay,” you reply, cold and numb.
“Dinner reservations are at tonight 6, so I’ll be here at 5:30 to pick you up,” Chad says from the bathroom as he starts the shower, “wear that black dress with the low back I like.”
“I will,” you lie.
If all goes to plan, you’ll be a few hours away by then, where he can’t find you.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
You get up as soon as he leaves, wanting nothing more than to get out of this hellhole but needing to wash the evidence of his abuse off of your body.
Your heart is pounding as you pull your suitcases out from the bottom of your closet, already packed and ready to go. Your sweaty hands tremble, barely able to pick up your last-minute supplies to toss them in a tote.
You lift the mattress and reach under where you made a slit, locating the cash you’ve been hiding there and pulling it out before packing it too.
With that cash and the money you transferred into a secret account when you had been working, you should be set until you find a job.
You set your phone on the kitchen table and take a slow, deep breath before walking towards the door.
The handle turns as you reach out to open it; your stomach does too.
“I’m so fucking glad I installed those cameras last week when you were at Pilates,” Chad chuckles darkly as you drop the suitcase, backing away in terror.
He grabs your ponytail when you turn to run, and you cry out loudly at the burning pain in your scalp as he yanks you back. “You’re not going anywhere. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever,” he seethes in your ear. Your stomach rolls in disgust as you can feel him hard against your ass; he’s getting off on this. “You belong to me.”
He pushes you into the table by the door, causing the flower vase atop it to fall and shatter.
“Stupid, ungrateful bitch,” he seethes, stepping over the mess before kicking your hunched form in the ribs, stealing the breath in your lungs from the sharp, searing pain as you land on the hardwood.
It only takes two steps before he’s on you again, gripping your shoulder and turning you to face him. His eyes are full of rage, his pupils dilated from the line he snorted in the car as he spits, “I thought you’d finally learned after the birth control incident. I should’ve known…”
Your head whips to the side and you taste blood when he backhands you, splitting your lip.
You can’t catch your bearings as you try to appease him with an apology; pain radiating from your cheek and there’s a deafening, high-pitched ringing in your ears, “I’m sorry Chad, let me explain-“
Pain explodes in the left side of your face a second later as he punches you as hard as he can before the world goes dark.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
“Shae?” says a familiar voice, sounding so far away. “Shae, honey, wake up.”
Your right eye slowly blinks open to the bright fluorescent lights; the left is swollen shut and pulsing painfully. The beeping of the heart monitor increases and the pain in your ribs makes itself known as everything comes rushing back.
The police officers arriving, the EMTs putting you on the stretcher, the chilling look in his eyes as you were rolled past, the favorite doctor you worked for giving you a sedative when you arrived in her ER panicking.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Dr. Akins murmurs, putting her hand on yours, “he’s not here, he can’t hurt you.”
You slowly nod. “Where,” you croak, tongue feeling like sandpaper, “where is he?”
“Sitting in jail,” she replies.
“But-“
“For 24 hours,” she assures you, “even with his connections, he won’t be getting out early.”
You nod, still a little dazed and disoriented as you take a drink of the water she offers. “Thank you.”
“He’s why you quit, huh?” Dr. Akins asks. Not judging, just observant.
You nod again.
“What happened? Today I mean,” she clarifies.
“I was leaving,” you whisper, wincing when you look down from the pain in your eye from the movement. “He came home.”
“How did he know? Did you tell anyone?” She asks gently.
“No,” you reply, “not a soul. He said something about installing cameras last week.”
“That’s not legal in the state of California, Shae,” she says softly, stroking her thumb over your hand, “neither is beating your wife half to death.”
You nod once again, gasping from the pain in your ribs when you sit up, “I’ve gotta get out of here before he’s released.”
“Where will you go?” She asks.
“I’m going to rent an Airbnb in San Diego,” you wince as you try to smile, quickly reminded of the split in your lip, “My parents met there when my dad was in the Navy. I visited after college and fell in love. It was the first place that came to mind the…” you trail off.
“The what?”
“The last time this happened,” you whisper, “he found out I was secretly taking birth control since we started trying for a baby…he thought being a family man would help him get a promotion at work…as if that canceled out the alcoholism, drug use, and anger problems.”
“Oh Shae,” she replies. Your eyes fill as you look away when you hear the tears heavy in her voice.
She stands and gently wraps you in a hug, letting you cry for the next few minutes. She hands you a tissue before taking one for herself.
“So…you’ve got an orbital fracture that thankfully doesn’t need surgery, no concussion but you’re gonna have a helluva headache, 3 broken ribs, a split lip, and a few other bumps and bruises,” she says finally, not sugar coating it.
You close your eyes, knowing they’ll want to keep you overnight for another observation.
“There’s two officers from Sacramento PD waiting to talk with you,” she continues, “but I’ll get you discharged when they’re done. As a nurse, I trust you know what signs and symptoms to watch for?”
You open your eyes and nod, “Thank you.”
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
You’re tight-lipped during the conversation with the officers with the entire police department in Chad’s back pocket.
You do ask for a restraining order, knowing it’s just a piece of paper, but it gives you a little peace of mind. You don’t press any further charges either; nothing will come of the ones already existing and you refuse to add fuel to his fire.
“Here’s your discharge papers,” Dr. Akins hands you the stapled stack after they leave, “and a little something from a few of the doctors here. We haven’t forgotten you, Shae.”
“Dr. Akins, you-“ you start but she interrupts.
“Just be safe, okay? My number is in there too, please let me know when you’re settled.”
“Okay,” you whisper, ignoring the shooting pain in your ribs as you pull her in for a final hug, “thank you.”
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
You try not to, but you can’t help but cry when you open the envelope in the Uber that Dr. Akins ordered. A letters of recommendation from her and two other doctors you worked with also, and enough bills to make you feel light-headed.
“Here’s fine,” you tell the driver when he pulls onto your street and is a few houses from yours.
You feel paranoid, but knowing Chad, he’ll check the Ring as soon as he gets released. If he sees a man brought you home, you wouldn’t put it past him to look up the license plate and have his cronies at the police station pull him over; it doesn’t matter that it’s just the man’s job.
“You sure?” He looks skeptically over his shoulder at you.
“Yeah,” you sigh when you try again to smile, tasting blood again when you open the cut in your bottom lip, “thanks.”
Ed, your sweet old neighbor, comes running when he spots you gingerly getting out of the car. “Shae!” He cries when he reaches you, placing his hands on your shoulders, afraid to hurt you, “oh your beautiful eye,” he whispers, tears filling his eyes as he scans your face. “I happened to see him come home, and I knew he wasn’t happy the way he slammed his car door. I’m sorry I called 911, but I heard you yell and then a crash.”
“It’s okay,” you begin to cry too, hating how distressed he is. You’d had quickly befriended him and his wife, Jean, when you moved in. They reminded you so much of your late parents and that’s exactly why Chad put an end to the relationship. “I’m glad you did, Ed.”
“I’m so sorry about Jean,” you continue, guilt overwhelming you. “I wanted to go to the funeral so badly.”
She had passed away nearly a year ago from cancer. You earned a slap across the face when you asked Chad to go to her funeral.
“It’s okay, honey. She knew you loved her and she loved you too,” he replies, pulling you in for the most gentle, tender hug.
The gesture breaks the dam inside you and you begin to sob; body-shaking, from-the-soul sobs.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
“Come inside,” Ed asks when you finally relax, “Just for a minute. I’ve got a slice of apple pie with your name on it. You’ve gotten too thin.”
“Okay,” you whisper, letting him take your hand.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
“Do you have my number in your new phone?” Ed asks by his front door after he feeds you not one, but two pieces of his homemade pie. It was your favorite and yet another thing Chad didn’t let you have.
You insist Ed stays home while you get your suitcases, not knowing the whereabouts of Chad’s cameras. The last thing you want is someone else getting hurt, especially Ed.
You nod, “It was the first number I put it, I still have it memorized. Promise you’ll come to see me when things settle?”
If they ever settle. Your heart sinks with the thought that this mess will never stop; not until he’s in prison or one of you ends up dead.
“I will,” he kisses your forehead, and hands you an envelope from his pocket, “here honey, take this.”
“Ed, no. I can’t,” you argue, eyes widening as you feel the wad of cash inside, “Really, I’ll be okay. I’ve been planning this for a while.”
“It was Jean’s idea,” he smiles sadly, “she knew you’d get out someday and we both wanted you to have a cushion.”
“Ed,” your voice breaks and you start to cry again. Your head was pounding, your ribs screamed with every breath and you were getting more anxious as more time passed.
“Take it and use it,” he says, putting his hand in his pocket so you can’t hand it back, “hire a lawyer, get that dog you always wanted, take a nice vacation, whatever you want, honey. Besides, he can’t track cash like he can a card.”
That thought crossed your mind too before you finally nod. “Thank you,” you whisper, giving him a final hug and heading back to your former home.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
You step over the drips of your blood and avoid the dead flowers and broken glass, feeling nauseous from anxiety and the pain pulsing through your body when you pick up your discarded bag and right your suitcases.
Your lip still quirks in satisfaction when the wheels of your suitcase drag the sharp pieces of glass over the floor, scratching the hell out of the hardwood he loves.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
Ed watches from his front door as you struggle to get your suitcases in the back, but you discreetly shake your head when he opens the door to help. Chad is going to take his anger out somewhere, and you don’t want to make Ed more of a target.
You suppress your groan as you lift the floorboard in the trunk to find your secret cell phone hidden by the spare tire and turn it on after plugging it in while you fasten your seatbelt.
After typing in the address into GPS, you take a deep breath and pull out of the driveway, waving goodbye to Ed and starting your new life.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
A few weeks later (current day).
“Friday at 11,” you confirm, “I’ll be there, thank you again,” you say before hanging up with the recruiter.
You smile softly; things are looking up. You have an interview scheduled for a nursing position with a general practitioner at the Naval Base, you secured a nice apartment that’ll be ready to move into in a few weeks and Chad would be served with divorce papers any day now.
With the money you saved, the generous gift from the doctors you worked with at the ER, and the downright obscene amount from Ed and Jean, you didn’t need to rush into finding a job. So you had taken a few weeks to find an apartment and hit the beach while you healed; physically at least.
Emotionally though, you were struggling. Most nights you woke up soaked in a cold sweat, shivering in terror from your nightmares. Loud noises made you flinch. You were constantly having to remind yourself that it’s okay to go out and do what you want.
Dr. Akins checked in with you twice after letting her know you arrived. Ed texted or called almost daily; it was so nice to be able to talk to him freely.
You decide to walk a few blocks to the hole-in-the-wall restaurant you discovered on your first week here for dinner.
Taking a different way back, you come across a large, brown, and white dog tied outside a clothing shop.
The sign in the window above him reads, ‘Dog is for sale. Inquire within’.
His big, fluffy tail begins to wag when he realizes you’re approaching him and he lifts his head when you kneel, “Hi buddy.”
“Hi,” an older woman with a kind smile comes out when she sees you, “are you-“ she cuts off with a sneeze when she gets close.
“Bless you,” you smile.
“Thanks,” she sniffs, “I was trying to ask if you’re interested in him?”
“Oh,” you say, “I can’t…” you trail off as you realize there isn’t anything stopping you. The Airbnb listing said pets were welcome; same with your apartment. “Well…maybe?”
She laughs, sitting on the bench by the door, inviting you to sit beside her. “His name is Hank, he’s a 2-year-old, Great Pyrenees mix. He belonged to my daughter but…she can’t take care of him anymore; she checked herself into rehab,” she sighs sadly, “and will be for a while; she asked me to find him a good home since I’m horribly allergic and there’s too many kill shelters around here,” she answers before you can ask.
“I’m sorry,” you murmur, petting his big head when he rests it on your knee, “he’s so sweet.”
“He is,” she confirms before sneezing again, “he listens well, I’ve never heard him bark and I think he’s house trained-I’ve had to keep him in the garage at my house or I can’t breathe-but he hasn’t had any accidents there. I guess he’s a little leery of men too, but she wasn’t hanging around the best crowd either. I took him to the vet-in my car which was a terrible idea, I still sneeze when I open the door,” she laughs, “but they gave him a micro-chip and updated his vaccines. He was given a clean bill of health, I have his records in the store.”
He looks up at you with those big brown eyes; staring into your soul while tugging at your heartstrings.
“I’ll take him,” you hear yourself saying as you pull out your wallet and pull out all the cash you have in your wallet; around $500. She begins to refuse but you insist, “Please. I know the vet wasn’t cheap, and your daughter will need help getting back on her feet.”
Tears fill her eyes but she eventually nods, “Thank you.”
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
It doesn’t take long at all for you to fall in love with Hank; his personality is as big as he is. He just had one accident the first night and hasn’t barked a single time.
“How do I look?” You ask him, spinning in front of the mirror as he watches you from his spot on your bed. Dressing up felt nice, even if it was just for a job interview.
You did your best to cover the healing yellow bruise under your eye, but it was still noticeable in certain light.
He hops off the bed and nudges your thigh with his head before looking up at you in the mirror.
“Thanks, I think so too,” you smile down at him. “I’ll be back in a little bit, you be a good boy.”
He’s asleep on the bed before you shut the door.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
“Hi, you must be Shae,” the pretty woman greeting smiles as she offers her hand. “I’m Reese, nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too,” you reply.
“Please,” she gestures to the chairs across her desk as she sits, “have a seat.”
Your eyes squint when the sunlight catches your face as you sit before giving her your resume. “I also have letters of recommendation from my nursing instructor and a few of the doctors I’ve worked with,” your cheeks heat as you hand them over next.
Your stomach sinks as her gaze pauses on your concealed bruise before she scans the information given.
Your nerves settle as she asks questions and gives you different scenarios. Dr. Kerner is confident, witty and you get the impression she doesn’t take shit from anyone; which is needed when the majority of her patients are cocky men.
“Well, I’ve seen enough,” she smiles, “you can expect to from HR soon for the formal offer,” your heart soars and then sinks when her brow furrows slightly when she glances down again at her resume, “Oh, is this current?”
Your nerves come back full force and your hands twist nervously in your lap, “Yes, it’s current.”
“It’s okay,” she replies softly, picking up on your anxiety, “HR will ask why it's been 2 years since you worked last. What should I tell them?”
You feel yourself dissociate as you look out the window. “My husb-I mean, ex-husband…he didn’t want me to work.”
She nods, looking at your healing eye and piecing together where it came from. “Shae?”
You flinch slightly as you snap out of it, before meeting her eyes.
“I’m just going to tell them it was due to family reasons,” she says, watching as you sag in relief. “Are you safe though?”
“I am,” you reply, touching the slight discoloration under your eye, “I am now. He’s…a few hours away, and I have a dog now.”
“Okay,” she replies with a small smile, reaching for a pen and notepad. “Here’s my number if that changes okay?”
“Okay,” you whisper, touched by her gesture. You had very few people in your corner, and they all lived hours away. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she replies, rising to her feet. “Hope to see you again soon.”
“I hope so too,” you smile genuinely for the first time.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
“HR will be in touch soon,” Dr. Kerner says as she escorts you from her office, smiling down the hall. “Have a good weekend.”
“Thanks, you too,” you reply, eyes following hers to two men approaching.
The blonde gives you a friendly smile before locking eyes with Dr. Kerner. While he’s attractive, it’s evident he only has eyes for her.
The darker-haired one with a mustache is downright hot. The way he gives you a quick, appreciative once over before flashing you a grin has you blushing like a virgin.
You quickly head outside, feeling an odd mixture of emotions; unnecessary guilt for looking at another man, excitement that someone so good-looking finds you attractive, relief that you can still feel attraction, and nervousness that you might/might not see him again if you get the job.
Once inside your car, you blast the AC to cool your heated cheeks as you make your way back to your temporary home.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
A few days pass before receiving the call that you have the job and you agree to start the following Monday.
You hardly sleep the night before and arrive before nearly everyone.
“Ready for your first day?” Dr. Kerner smiles when she sees you at your desk.
“I am,” you answer, “I looked over your preferences while I waited. It all looks familiar so I shouldn’t have any problem getting caught up to speed.”
“I didn’t figure you would,” she replies, “let me give you a quick tour and we’ll get the day started.”
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
By lunch, you’re already getting the hang of things.
“I don’t know how I’ve survived this long without you,” Dr. Kerner smiles as she checks the time, “seriously, you’re doing a great job.”
“Thank you,” you murmur, flushing as you look down at your shoes, so unused to compliments.
“You’re welcome,” she replies, “I usually have lunch in here with Jake, my boyfriend, and Rooster, an old friend of mine. They’re both naval aviators.”
“Rooster?” You ask, looking up confused.
“Ah, sorry, that’s his callsign,” she laughs, “his real name is Bradley; you can call him either. You’re more than welcome to join us.”
“Thanks for the offer, but I’ve gotta let my dog out. I haven’t found anyone to walk him yet; I’m pretty sure he’d be fine all day but I’m staying at an Airbnb until my apartment is ready in a few weeks so I don’t want to risk any accidents,” you reply. It’s the truth, but you’re still unsure and uneasy about a lot of things.
“Understandable,” she replies, “the offer stands if and when you want to.”
“Thank you,” you reply with a smile of your own.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
“Some friends of mine are having a get-together for the 4th at their house on the beach,” Dr. Kerner says at the end of the first day, “you’re more than welcome to come if you’d like.”
“You don’t have to answer right now,” she continues when you clam up, “and there’s no pressure, either. You can say no.”
The rising tension inside you falls when she gives you a choice.
“I’ll think about it,” you answer truthfully, “if that’s okay?”
“Of course. There’s no rush; Penny will be plenty of food and drinks either way,” she gives you a reassuring smile as she picks up her keys. “Have a good night, I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Thanks,” you smile back, “you too.”
•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>
The next few weeks pass quickly and June turns to July.
You were still in the rental and hadn’t had lunch with Dr. Kerner yet, but you could feel yourself slowly opening up to her.
“See ya after lunch,” she calls as you pick up your keys to head out, “tell Hank I said hi.”
“I will,” you laugh, “be back in a bit.”
•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>•<•>
Something is off when you unlock the door to the rental.
Hank, who’s normally asleep on the bed, is restlessly pacing.
“What’s up, buddy?” You ask, crouching to kiss him.
He’s distracted though, aggressively sniffing the welcome mat.
“Gotta go potty?” You ask, grabbing his leash, “Let’s go.”
He sits down right beside you when you get to the grass, sniffing the air and looking around.
“C’mon bud, go potty,” you coax.
He eventually takes a few steps to do his business but comes right back when he’s done.
“I’ll see you in a bit, okay? Be a good boy,” you murmur as you close the door while he stands there and watches, again so unlike him.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
“Hey,” Dr. Kerner says when you come back from lunch, looking down at her phone, “the last patient canceled, so we’ll be done early today. How was Hank?”
“Acting a little weird, but good,” you reply, brow furrowed, “he’s usually asleep when I get home, but he was up and pacing by the door. I thought he had to go potty really bad but he didn’t go without some coaxing. Who knows, probably just heard a squirrel or something.”
“Probably,” she agrees, her tone giving away that it doesn’t sit right with her.
It doesn’t sit right with you either.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
After saying goodbye to Dr. Kerner, you head home a few hours later.
Hank is again, or still, by the door.
You order food to be delivered while he eats his, sitting down on the couch with a beer while you wait.
You mull it over in your head before pulling your phone out to compose a text.
Shae: Hey Dr. Kerner, I’ve thought it over. I’d be happy to join you tomorrow if the offer still stands.
But there’s a knock at the door before you send it.
You rise to your feet, Hank gets up too, surprising you as he growls in your presence for the first time.
“It’s okay, just the delivery driver,” you coo before calling, “just a minute,” as you grab some cash for a tip.
“Wow, that was fast-“ you start to say as you open the door, but your head whips to the side. You hear the sharp slap to your cheek and eye before the pain can register.
The force of his backhand knocks you back a step and Chad follows you, gripping your arm so tightly you cry out in pain. He’s full of rage, his breath reeks of bourbon as spits in your face, “You think you can divorce me?! After everything I’ve done for-FUCK!”
Chad screams when Hank latches onto his clothed arm with a low growl. The force of his lunge pushes Chad back into the doorframe but you grab Hank’s collar to haul him off before he sinks his teeth into something more vital.
“Leave,” you say, voice shaking and barely audible over Hank’s snarls, “now.”
“This isn’t over,” he says, holding his arm as he takes taking a step back, “and that dog is dead.”
You slam the door closed behind him, locking it before falling to the floor with a sob.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
Hank lays down beside you, setting his head in your lap as he senses your distress. “You’re such a good boy,” you whisper, stroking his soft fur.
But he starts to growl again a few minutes later when a loud knock startles you both.
“San Diego PD, open up.”
You hold Hank’s collar as you crack the door to verify. “Just a minute, I’m going to put my dog in the bedroom; he’s a little worked up.”
The host of the AirBnb shows up shortly after, holding the bag of your forgotten food.
Adrenaline wearing off, your face begins to throb in time with his fingerprints on your arm as you explain what happened to the officers. You feel numb as they take pictures of your injuries, but you don’t hold much hope when the officers say they’ll find him.
The Airbnb host gives you more bad news before leaving too.
You try to compose yourself as you start to pack but hopelessness of the situation begins to set in, and you feel suddenly feel completely overwhelmed. Your thoughts begin to race before you pick up the phone; feeling as if you have no other choice but to turn to the only person that might help.
Your heart races as the line rings.
“Shae?” she answers, “what’s up?”
There’s faint music in the background.
“Hi Dr. Kerner,” you say, trying to sound calm, “I’m so sorry to bother you.”
“Please, call me Reese,” she reminds you gently, “you’re not bothering me. Is everything okay?”
“No,” your voice breaks, “it’s not. Chad…my ex, he found me.”
“Where are you? Is he there now?” She asks, anxious now.
“No, he took off when Hank bit him,” you sniff, zipping one of your packed suitcases closed, “I’m still at the Airbnb, packing my stuff.”
“Okay,” she sighs, her relief evident until your last words sink in, “Okay. Packing your-wait, why are you packing?”
“The police came a few minutes after he left; one of the units heard the commotion. The unit owner came while I was giving my statement,” You answer, walking down the short hallway to the living room, “I guess the other tenants complained to him and are scared-understandably so-but said I needed to be out…tonight.”
“Oh Shae,” she says, “I’m so sorry. Let me come help you?”
“Okay.” Both of you are surprised when you agree.
“I’m at the Hard Deck-which is a bar-with Jake and Bradley. Oh shoot, I forgot we rode together. Hang one sec,” she pauses, “I’ll order an Uber.”
“They can come too,” you say, more anxiety setting in as you look at the clock, “if they want to, I mean. I…I think I need all the help I can get. I’ve got to be out in about an hour.”
“Okay,” she says, murmuring something before coming back on the line, “they’re happy to help, Shae. Text me the address, we’re getting in the truck now.”
“I will, oh…” you cringe when you catch a glimpse of your reflection in the mirror above the couch. Your right eye is bloodshot from the trauma, below on your cheek is puffy and still red, and his fingerprints already purpling your arm. It’s nothing compared to last time, but it’s still startling, “and Reese? I should warn you, I look…rough.”
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
A/N: Well…what do you guys think? Did everything make sense (especially for those who haven’t read All of Me).
As always, any interaction is appreciated but I love hearing what you think in the comments/reblogs! Seriously, feedback helps me more than you know.
Please let me know if you want to be added to (or removed from) my taglist…and if I forgot to add you-it wasn’t intentional, just let me know!
@lexixstewart
@dizzybee03
@its-the-pilot
@hookslove1592
@hisredheadedgoddess28
@atarmychick007
@littlezee80
@k-k0129
@phoenix-rising-starbird-one
@jessicab1991
@djs8891
@lonelysoul504
@mrsevans90
@landpiranha-blog
@bellaireland1981
@shanimallina87
@writtingrose
@fandomology101
@amiets2
@psuedochakra
@lyn-js
@averagereader35
@emma8895eb
@els-marvelvsp
@seitmai
152 notes · View notes
atopvisenyashill · 2 months
Note
Why do you fing Helaena's changes to her character heinous? 👀
I think if you're going to make such a huge change to her character, you need to dedicate the time to actually fleshing that character out. Part of why I never minded the Shae changes (until the very ending) was because a) you can still get Tyrion and Sansa roughly to the same points that they are emotionally at the end of ASOS with a Shae that is older, smarter, and loves both of them and b) they made the effort to dedicate the space in the narrative to fleshing her out. Even if some stuff is kind of left up in the air (like her potential background as a runaway noble), I think she still gets a lot of time to spotlight her relationships with both of them. When she asks Tyrion to leave, most of her conversations with Sansa, the little quirks like her not knowing how to properly brush hair, etc., Shae is given the room to be this new character and be a deep character without breaking the rules of the universe and ultimately serving the same purpose she did in the books (again...up until she betrays Sansa and attacks Tyrion with that shitty little knife. I think if she had insisted on Sansa's innocence and Tyrion had out and out murdered her, she would be a perfect example of a Canon OC type fleshed out correctly).
With Helaena....she barely gets any screentime at all. Rarely are we following a scene from her PoV, it's almost exclusively Alicent's very infantilized view of her daughter or Aegon/Aemond's view of her oddities. It reminds me of the Arianne writing in that way - because we got Arianne first through Areo who sees her as a child and then through Arys who is attracted to her, our initial picture of Arianne is both infantilized and hypersexualized. Similarly, because we rarely get Helaena from her own PoV, our image of her is infantilized. If they were ~saying something~ about the way disability is treated, that's one thing, but they're just kind of...letting it lie? It's taken us a season and a half to finally see Dreamfyre. Part of the reasoning for the Storming of the Dragonpit is that the smallfolk believe she's been murdered and she's beloved because she's one of the few dragonriders to not have an active hand in fucking these up for King's Landing. We have no idea her true feelings for Aegon or Aemond, there's just a lot of looks. She chose Jaehaera over Jaehaerys and we haven't seen her interact with - or purposefully Not interact with - Jaehaera once since. All of her interactions with the smallfolk have been negative.
So for me, it’s like they completely sacrifice any and all resemblance to her canon character to turn her into a foreshadow device and occasional sounding board for her mother’s problems. a feminist story about the way power is taken from women and noble women take power from the lower class, but we completely ignore the character who is known for interacting with the lower class, and focus more on every single man around her.
23 notes · View notes
Text
The Sheep & the Ram: Nettles
The Sheep
Sheepstealer
The presence of sheep in media has often been used to symbolize innocence. Now, while this animal is often used to represent children, women and other creatures of chastity, in ASOIAF, the sheep are the people of the lowest caste in Westeros, the smallfolk. This comparison is both contradictory and appropriate for the treatment of the smallfolk narratively and in-universe.
- Contradictory, because the smallfolk are almost never treated as innocents worth protecting by most of the nobility in ASOIAF. They are always associated with impurity, they never get a trial for any suspected crimes, and are often killed for petty schemes.
- Appropriate, because of how they fit the characteristics of sheep,- they lack individuality, much like sheep in a herd. This is due to the fact that ASOIAF is written from the perspective of nobility, whose narratives do not usually pay much interest in the people beneath them, despite the smallfolk taking the brunt of every decision made by them.
Nettles being low born means that she has lived most of her life as a part of nameless, faceless, herd. The sheep she slaughtered at the beginning of her story is meant to represent her, and its death represents the birth of the identity she gained through becoming a dragon rider.
Sealed in Blood
Nettles’ bonding with Sheepstealer as described in Fire and Blood :
“In the end, the brown dragon was brought to heel by the cunning and persistence of a “small brown girl” of six-and-ten, who delivered him a freshly slaughtered sheep every morning, until Sheepstealer learned to accept and expect her. ”
As stated in the quote above, Nettles claims Sheepstealer by feeding him freshly slaughtered sheep everyday. Freshly slaughtered, meaning there was always blood on them, blood shed by Nettles. In my post about Nettles and her relations to the Maiden, the Mother and the Crone, I stated that her bond with Sheepstealer protected her in a way that mirrors the protection motherhood gives the noblewomen in Westeros. Blood in ASOIAF is often used as the seal for transactions,- the blood shed from a woman in the consummation of marriage validating the union, sacrifices needed for blood magic,etc.
Narratively, GRRM’s characters are given new identities after a blood sacrifice is done. When Daenerys sacrifices Mirri, Drogo, and herself to hatch her dragons, Drogon, Viserion and Rhaegal, she comes out of the pyre as the mother of dragons. When Jaime is knighted by Ser Arthur Dayne, he is cut by the sword Dawn, and stands up Ser Jaime Lannister. When Nettles sacrifices sheep to Sheepstealer, she comes out as the Unlikely Dragonrider.
Disillusionment
One of the most explored concepts in the main series of ASOIAF is disillusionment.
Regardless of how they came to be, all of GRRM’s characters have their own motives and ambitions. He never plays his tropes straight though, so the journeys that his characters go on in pursuit of fulfilling their intentions is usually plagued with trauma, loss and disillusions,-all of which Nettles would come to face while fighting in the Dance.
We are not explicitly told Nettles’ reasoning for approaching Sheepstealer, but the most compelling arguments are ambition, and the need to protect the innocent. GRRM has told the stories of people born in the lowest class of Westeros trying to make better for themselves by climbing up the social ladder and getting as integrated as possible with the noble-class of Westeros. In the Game of Thrones series, we meet Ros, a sex worker from the North who goes to Kingslanding, and began working with Petyr Baelish. Petyr was on the King’s small council as the Master of Coin and was the owner of several brothels. His position and alliance with Ros brought her more profit and better protection than she would’ve got working alone. In both the books and the show, we meet Shae, a young teenage prostitute who is hired by Tyrion Lannister. Tyrion is the son of the Lord of Casterly Rock, and later becomes the Hand of the King. Shae and Ros would’ve had clients from all social backgrounds in their time of being sex workers, but their proximity to these men grants them individuality, and puts them a mere step up from the faceless women in the brothels. (It’s important to note that both of these women met a tragic end at the hands of high-born lords and ladies, despite their proximity to powerful men.)
Nettles’ climb up the social ladder was a more ‘masculine’ approach by Westeros’ standards. She gains her personhood through violence and participating in a war, the way the low-born men in the series do; Davos would be the best example. Fire and Blood does not explicitly state what Rhaenyra planned to reward Nettles with, but we do have a conversation from Ulf the White and Hugh the Hammer:
“We are knights now, truly,” Hard Hugh declared. And Ulf laughed and said, “Fie on that. We should be lords.”
The reward for fighting in war for men is either knighthood and lordship, both of which Nettles could never attain, due to the gender expectations in Westeros. She could also be granted further legitimacy, by being legalized as a Velaryon, and maybe be married off, but I find this to be very unlikely due to how much Fire and Blood emphasizes how undesirable she is by Westeros’ standards. Regardless, there had to be something compelling enough for her to look upon a beast that had slain all the men that tried to mount it, and dare to approach it.
I’ve limited it down to to two plausible explanations:
- She wanted to protect her home. Her people. Her entire story is told by Maesters who’ve never met her and it only starts when she claims Sheepstealer. We know nothing of her life prior the dance, but Nettles is human. She likely lived in Spicetown all her life. She must’ve had friends, family, or a community she wanted to protect.
- She wanted to be in a better situation. There are many speculations on what Nettles may have had to do in order to survive. All of them tie her to theft or sex work, which are both plausible possibilities, there aren’t many viable options for low-born girls.
In the previously quoted conversation, Ulf and Hugh are celebrating a victory that was mourned by many, including Nettles.
“The girl Nettles did not share their celebrations. She had flown with the others, fought as bravely, burned and killed as they had, but her face was black with smoke and streaked with tears when she returned to Dragonstone.”
This would have been her very first battle, ever, and one of the most destructive battles in the Dance of the Dragons. If we operate under the assumption that Nettles joined this war to better her life, then immediately fought in this battle, it would lead to the question: Was it worth it?
It’s a question that GRRM has his readers ponder on after allowing his characters to get something they aspired to have at the beginning of their story. Nettles’ claiming of Sheepstealer has always been transactional,- offering of freshly killed sheep, identifying as the bastard of a noble house, becoming a dragon-rider, fighting in war,- all of these actions led to her gaining individuality, worth and safety she would’ve never had before the Dance, but, the cost was her playing a hand in the bloodshed and violence nobility would enact on her people.
After the Battle of the Gullet, thousands of people died, including Prince Jacaerys, the Velaryon fleet lost a third of its strength, and the young Prince Viserys was thought to be dead. It’s no surprise that these losses were included in the accounts of Fire and Blood, as they all affect prominent people in Westeros,- Queen Rhaenyra lost her two sons, and Lord Corlys Velaryon has lost an good amount of his wealth, assets and his fleet. But the part of the aftermath that stood out the most in its relation to Nettles:
“Spicetown was brutally sacked, the bodies of men, women, and children butchered in the streets and left as fodder for gulls and rats and carrion crows, its buildings burned. The town would never be rebuilt.”
“and two “cousins” from Driftmark, left homeless when Spicetown was destroyed.”
Her sacrifice, her bravery all meant nothing as her home was destroyed. If she had friends, neighbors, family, they would’ve likely been dead.
The Ram
The Rogue Prince and Misogyny (-noir)
The only relationship of hers that was recorded in Fire and Blood, was her relationship with Daemon :
“Maester Norren writes that “the prince and his bastard girl” supped together every night, broke their fast together every morning, slept in adjoining bedchambers, that the prince “doted upon the brown girl as a man might dote upon his daughter,” instructing her in “common courtesies” and how to dress and sit and brush her hair, that he made gifts to her of “an ivory-handled hairbrush, a silvered looking glass, a cloak of rich brown velvet bordered in satin, a pair of riding boots of leather soft as butter.” The prince taught the girl to wash, Norren says, and the maidservants who fetched their bath water said he oft shared a tub with her, “soaping her back or washing the dragon stink from her hair, both of them as naked as their namedays.”
“Each dawn Caraxes and Sheepstealer flew from Maidenpool, climbing high above the riverlands in ever-widening circles in hopes of espying Vhagar below…only to return defeated at dusk.”
“By the dwarf’s account, Daemon Targaryen had come to love the small brown bastard girl, and had taken her into his bed.”
In the quotes above, there are two accounts with different interpretations of their relationship. Maester Norren insists that their relationship is that of a father and daughter, and provides examples of Daemon’s “fatherly” affection, which oddly includes sharing baths with his daughter. On the flip side, you have Mushroom stating that their relationship was in fact a romantic one.
Now, it is explicitly stated in Fire and Blood that Daemon was not loyal to Rhaenyra, so loyalty to his wife cannot be used as a reason why he would not be romantically involved with Nettles. Nor could age, as he was known to enjoy the company of young maidens in brothels.
“Nettles was no more than ten-and-seven, Prince Daemon nine-and-forty, yet the power young maidens exert over older men is well-known. Daemon Targaryen was not a faithful consort to the queen, we know. Even our normally reticent Septon Eustace writes of his nightly visits to Lady Mysaria, whose bed he oft shared whilst at court…with the queen’s blessing, purportedly.”“Nor should it be forgotten that during his youth, every brothel keeper in King’s Landing knew that Lord Flea Bottom took an especial delight in maidens, and kept aside the youngest, prettiest, and more innocent of their new girls for him to deflower.”
This leads us to main issue with Norren and Septon Eustace’s argument and that is the fact that it is entirely dependent on how “unattractive” Nettles is. Munkun and Eustace emphasize how undesirable she is by focusing on the fact that she was a lowborn woman whose only options to survive were likely prostitution or theft. In terms of her physical appearance, she’s described as skinny, with brown skin, a scar across her nose and crooked teeth. This description does not make her relationship with Daemon any less unlikely, given the author who wrote it. Even if Nettles is in fact physically unattractive, and does not resemble any of Daemon’s previous lovers, she is still capable of being loved. George has written a similar dynamic with Brienne and Jaime in the main series. Daemon, like Jaime, fits comfortably with the expectations of men during their time- he fought in wars, he’s been married, he produced children, etc. Nettles, much like Brienne (though their situations are not exactly the same), does not fit into the ideal expectations for women in Westeros. The two of them are consistently described as unattractive. They also take on more “masculine” positions, with Brienne serving as a knight, and Nettles fighting in a war.
Identity
Nettles is theorized in text and by the fan base to be the daughter of Daemon, and other Lords with Valyrian blood. This usually is used as an explanation for her being able to ride a dragon. Narratively, Nettles and Sheepstealer are quite different from House Targaryen and their dragons. For starters, Sheepstealer is a wild dragon, who are described to be notoriously untamable. After rejecting Alyn and eating the other dragonseeds, he accepted Nettles. Nettles in Fire and Blood looks nothing like the other dragon riders who are all fair-skinned with light hair. So even though her being a dragon rider gives her proximity to the ruling class, it is made clear in Fire and Blood she does not have prominent Valyrian ancestry.
Departure
When her and Daemon part, Nettles is recorded killing and feeding the largest black ram in Maidenpool to Sheepstealer. After she disappears from Maidenpool, she is not seen again. Nettles lost everything to the Dance of the Dragons, including her connections to humanity. Her home, her loved ones, her identity, all gone. The sheep in the beginning of her story represents the birth of her identity, and when she kills it she is no longer faceless like the rest of smallfolk. The ram represents Nettles after seeing the horrors of war, of sex, of people, etc. Nettles kills her newfound identity as a bastard of House Targaryen (or House Velaryon), as Daemon’s alleged mistress, as the Unlikely Dragonrider.
25 notes · View notes
alaynasansa · 2 years
Text
Sansa Stark having a type:
Renly Baratheon
He was the handsomest man Sansa had ever set eyes upon ; tall and powerfully made, with jet-black hair that fell to his shoulders and framed a clean-shaven face, and laughing green eyes to match his armor
Sansa I — A Game of Thrones
Loras Tyrell
He even looked a true hero, so slim and beautiful, with golden roses around his slender waist and his rich brown hair tumbling down into his eyes
Sansa III — A Game of Thrones
Wed to Ser Loras,oh... Sansa's breath caught in her throat. She remembered Ser Loras in his sparkling sapphire armor, tossing her a rose. Ser Loras in white silk, so pure, innocent, beautiful. The dimples at the corners of his mouth when he smiled. The sweetness of his laugh, the warmth of his hand. She could only imagine what it would be like to pull up his tunic and caress the smooth skin underneath, to stand on her toes and kiss him, to run her fingers through those thick brown curls and drown in his deep brown eyes. A flush crept up her neck
Sansa I — A Storm of Swords
Margaery Tyrell
She was sixteen, brown-haired and brown-eyed, slender and beautiful
Sansa I — A Storm of Swords
When Margaery Tyrell smiled, she looked very like her brother Loras
Sansa I — A Storm of Swords
Ellaria Sand
As they were crossing the yard, Prince Oberyn of Dorne fell in beside them, his black-haired paramour on his arm. Sansa glanced at the woman curiously. She was baseborn and unwed, and had borne two bastard daughters for the prince, but she did not fear to look even the queen in the eye. Shae had told her that this Ellaria worshipped some Lysene love goddess. "She was almost a whore when he found her, m'lady," her maid confided, "and now she's near a princess." Sansa had never been this close to the Dornishwoman before. She is not truly beautiful, she thought, but something about her draws the eye
Sansa IV — A Storm of Swords
Waymar Royce
Ser Waymar Royce was the youngest son of an ancient house with too many heirs. He was a handsome youth of eighteen, grey-eyed and graceful and slender as a knife
Prologue — A Game of Thrones
She had fallen wildly in love with Ser Waymar, she remembered dimly
Alayne I — A Feast For Crows
Myranda Royce
Myranda was soft-bodied and sweet-smelling, broad of hip, thick of waist, and extremely buxom. Her thick chestnut curls framed round red cheeks, a small mouth, and a pair of lively brown eyes
Alayne II — A Feast For Crows
Mya Stone
Slim and sinewy, Mya looked as tough as the old riding leathers she wore beneath her silvery ringmail shirt. Her hair was black as a raven's wing, so short and shaggy that Alayne suspected that she cut it with a dagger. Mya's eyes were her best feature, big and blue. She could be pretty, if she would dress up like a girl
Alayne II — A Feast For Crows
Candidates (the endgame I want and the one I think will be canon, plus they aren't too old):
Jeyne Poole
She was a pretty, dark-haired girl of Sansa's own age
Sansa III — A Game of Thrones
Jon Snow
Jon's eyes were a grey so dark they seemed almost black, but there was little they did not see. He was of an age with Robb, but they did not look alike. Jon was slender where Robb was muscular, dark where Robb was fair, graceful and quick where his half brother was strong and fast
Bran I — A Game of Thrones
And the most important thing:
Beric Dondarrion was handsome enough, but he was awfully old, almost twenty-two
Sansa III — A Game of Thrones
267 notes · View notes
attonitos-gloria · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
I keep coming back to this - innocent as a little lamb - because Tyrion is not technically lying here at this point in the story. He is actually innocent of the crime Catelyn is arresting him for and accusing him of. He's also not exactly plotting a coup - if his family were he would cooperate, but at this point he is ignorant of it. At his best, he suspects it. (Not that I'm saying he is without his vices, lol just placing this within the context of his wrongful imprisonment.)
But the thing is, reading this for the second time and knowing what's to come, Tyrion was right at his trial. This is a fight he couldn't win; he is seen as too weak to be considered a proper Man, but he is also too dangerous to be trusted. This is how Othering works in Westeros and in our world, it's a rigged game. Whatever he says or does - it will be used against him, so he might as well turn this hypocrisy into ambivalence and he does! Intentionally! All the time! Like he is straight up telling the truth - he's literally innocent - but he is also weaponizing this thing that goes unsaid to be wielded in his favor. And the fact that his Lannister name is both another layer of reason why people mistrust him and the only material reason he is able to escape alive at all just adds..... SO much flavor.
And this keeps coming back in his chapters, particularly at the start of his downfall. Neither Shae nor Tywin were expecting him to actually kill them, because Tyrion kind of lacks the basic male prerogative of violence on the grounds of not being seen as a proper specimen of a male by Westerosi standard - innocent as a little lamb! how could a half man even hurt you! - and I love how fighting back against this is precisely what makes him increasingly more violent, the whole "I will become exactly the monster you think I am" arc. Like. Tyrion is pure ambiguity, to his core, I think I'm physically incapable of shutting up about this.
13 notes · View notes
laurellerual · 2 years
Note
What are your thoughts on the twow mercy sample chapter? It was so jarring to me to see arya know how to use sex as manipulation. But i do love when she kills raff and he says ‘you ll have to carry me” and she repeats what he said when he killed lommy its just amazing how detailed grrm really is, plus it again shows arya isn’t completely forgotten (like i see so many ppl seem to think🙄)
I love many aspects of the Mercy Sample chapter.
I love that the chapter opens with a wolf dream and a weirwood tree. And it closes with Arya who, in her head, puts aside the name of Mercy, to play the last part of the mummer's farce and do justice for Lommy. Lommy, a person that Arya didn't even like, but he was innocent and he's dead and this injustice doesn't matter to anyone but her. I love this, because it demonstrates more than clearly that all those people who repeat that Arya is No one from AFFC, were wrong then and now, in the TWOW, they are still wrong.
I love the description of Braavos shrouded in mist and the bridge of faces. And I like the description of Mercy's clothes which is very suspicious and strange. Mercy still wears Cat of the Canals' salt-stained boots and still uses a rope as her belt, but this time it's dyed blue, an expensive color. She wears a simple dress of undyed wool like a lowborn in Westeros would, but she wears a red-lined purple cape like a highborn in Braavos would. She dresses in a way that sums up much of her journey so far. The pockets of her cloak are filled with mysterious objects: a fruit knife, an iron key and a thin blade that does not belong to Mercy. They are pockets that represent the ability to compartmentalize identity Arya has acquired, and they are loaded with potential for the future.
I love the metatheatrical thing that allows Arya to wander among the ghosts and caricatures of the characters we already met: Izembaro and Robert, Bobono and Tyrion, Lady Stork and Cersei. But not only the actors, also the Snapper and Daena whose dynamic with Mercy is somewhat reminiscent of that between Septa Mordane, Sansa and Jeyne. I love the moment Mercy reminds us that despite all that has changed since book one, her stitches are still crooked. I love how Shakespearean Martin's writing is with the lines he puts in Tyrion's mouth.
Finally, I love the parallelism that is intertwined throughout the chapter between the events that will have to take place on stage at the Gate and the events that Arya lives now. For after seeing an Essosi girl being raped and killed on stage by Tyrion (a man of Westeros affiliated with the Lannister crown)… The city will awake the next day to find poor Mercy's room red with blood and a Lannister guard will be missing and it will be obvious to draw parallels between the two situations anf Raff will be accused of Mercy's murder.
This is all interesting because it shows us that the FMs are starting to use what they know about Arya for their own ends and those ends seem to be working in favor of Stannis and the retaking of Winterfell instead of in favor of the Lannisters. It also shows that even within a plan Arya is left with the right to choose how to implement it, showing us a less dogmatic side of FM and changing a bit how we generally think of them.
Overall it's one of my favorite sample chapters.
It's strange to see Arya use sexuality as a weapon so lightly, but it's no surprise. Arya is an intelligent character who has experience with prostitutes and courtesans. She knows Raff is depraved because he knows he participated in that young girl rape that Chiswick laugh about. The role that she plays with Raff is the part that she studied for the Bloody Hand, is the role of Shae.
Mercy could not be Arya's first chapter in TWOW, cause Martin doesn't write the chapters in order. And it's also more than probable that the chapter has already been modified and partially rewritten in recent years and that the version we will see published will be very different.
We know that 'Arya in Braavos' material is not lacking, Martin joked that he could write a novel just about that. And we know that the 5-year gap would have served above all to give the Stark children time to grow. As the books progressed Arya's chapters became fewer, yet the single chapter covers much more time. At the start a chapter saw days go by. Now the chapters in Braavos imply that Arya has been there for months if not a year already. This technique allows Martin to do time ellipses and age Arya faster by speeding up her narration. I don't think it's a coincidence that by checking the timelines of the chapters made by fans Mercy is chronologically later in time, more than all the others; the timelines of the POV characters are not aligned. I think this speaks to Martin's eagerness to make Arya grow up faster because of the things that await her later in the story.
We will have to wait and see… The simple answer is that Martin at the beginning of the story miscalculated the ages with respect to the actual time that passes during the events of the published books and now we live the consequences of that. In any case, he has already expressed the belief that "if a twelve-year-old has to save the world, so be it", and therefore it seems that he made peace with it.
I am aware that this is a problem with the books I am reading, I acknowledge it and move on. The way I explain these when the ages don't make sense to me is: It doesn't say anywhere in the books that a year in the world of Westeros is as long as a year on Earth sooo… I'll pretend that a year in Westeros is a bit longer and therefore according to Earth years the characters are a bit older.
61 notes · View notes
fraybay · 2 years
Text
Rumors P2
A/N: Hello, hello. Here's part two. I hope y'all enjoy!
Link to Part 1 Link to Part 3
Pairing: Jack Harlow x Actress!OC TW: angst, smut
Tumblr media
As soon as the line picked up, Shae didn’t wait for him to speak, “Jack, I'm so s-“
“I really don't want to hear an apology from you right now,” Jack gruffly interrupted. “My PR team is going to send over a statement to your team for approval and I'll post it this afternoon. You can reshare it or send over a statement for approval.”
Shae winced at how cold he sounded and took a deep breath to try to keep from crying, “Baby, can you please come home so we can talk about this? Or I can come to you?”
“Now you want to talk?” A bitter laugh spilled out of his mouth, “I practically begged you to talk to me and give me a few days to solve this. Or are you forgetting that you haven't answered one phone call or text from me over the past 5 days?”
She sniffled, “I know. I sh-“
His voice cracked as he asserted, “I told you it wasn't me, and you just…”
Shae felt her chest tighten at how hurt he sounded as he trailed off. She waited a few moments to see if he was going to continue and when it became apparent he wasn’t, she finally spoke.
“I know, Jack. I know. You have every right to be angry at me, but I promise I'm going to do everything I can to make it up to you.”
“You honestly think that's possible?”
“I'd like to try,” came her earnest response.
Jack scoffed, “Are you forgetting that you basically told me that you believed I would cheat on you because I've changed and our relationship, apparently, was terrible?”
“That’s not what I said!” Shae exclaimed before taking a moment to even out her tone, “Jackman, there was so much evidence an-“
“Fuck the evidence, Shaela!” he snarled through the phone. “I didn't ask you to blindly believe me. I asked you to give me time before you ended things. After 3 years, you couldn't give me that so what the fuck are we even doing?”
“Jack, I know I screwed up, okay,” she conceded. “And I know you're going to be angry at me for a while and I deserve that. I know I have no right to ask but can you please give me the chance to make this right?”
Jack bit his tongue and kept silent, knowing that everything he wanted to say in response was just going to cut the actress deeply and make things worse.
She let out a weary sigh before she gently broached, “You leave back out on tour in two days. Can you please come home so we can try to salvage them?”
“I think it'd be best if I didn't. I need some space.” His grip on the phone tightened as he admonished, “And before you start, these last 5 days don't count because I spent them going out of my mind trying to figure out how to prove to you that I was innocent.”
As desperately as she wanted him home, she figured it was in her best interest not to argue.
Instead, she asked, “Do you still want me to come out to join you on tour in two weeks?”
He shook his head ruefully even though she couldn’t see him, “You don't even know how much I want to say yes to that.”
She was afraid to ask and barely choked out, “But?”
He sighed, “But I'm not sure. Can I let you know closer to when you're supposed to fly out?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. I should go. You'll have the statement sent over to you shortly."
“Okay.” She quickly called out before he could hang up, “Wait, Jack.”
Annoyance crept into his voice, “Yeah?”
His tone gave Shae pause but she managed to stammer out, “I...uh...I love you.”
“I'll talk to you later.”
Shae stared down at her phone and let the tears she’d been keeping at bay flow freely.
                           **********************
Urban rose an eyebrow at his best friend, “Damn dude, I only heard your side and that shit sounded painful.”
“What should she have expected? She didn't hesitate to end things between us! I'm not the bad guy,” he reasoned.
2fo chimed in, “Of course, you're not, but that doesn't mean she is either.”
“Please,” Jack leaned back in his chair, “enlighten me as to how she isn’t?”
“Because if the situation were reversed, you wouldn't have believed her either.” Urban crossed his arms, “A fact that you've admitted to at least 4 times over the past few days.”
“You're glossing over the fact that I also said that if she was as adamant as I was that it wasn't her, I would have at least given her time to prove that it wasn't,” he countered.
“Fair enough,” Schloob spoke up. “But you can't act like you two haven't been having issues. You literally told us last time we were on the road and y'all got into it because she had to push back coming out because of reshoots for her movie that every time one of you had to cancel on the other that it made you doubt whether a future and a family was in the cards for you two. So, acting like she's the only one who'd been doubting the relationship isn't fair.”
“How is it that all of you are on her side?”
“We are on your side,” Quiiso interjected. “We all know how much you love her, and we all know you're going to be miserable without her. You're angry and hurt she didn't give you time, which is understandable. All we're saying is that you both had good reason to act and feel the way you did.”
Urban added in, “We just don't want you making permanent decisions you might regret later because you're reacting to the situation instead of doing what's best for you in the long run.”
Jack ran a hand over his face, “Can we change the topic?”
“Sure,” Urban answered, “Would you like to talk about which one of us is going to stop by the house and pack for tour? Or do you plan on going by yourself?”
                           **********************
Shae opened the door, slightly surprised that Jack had chosen to knock instead of just using his key.
She stepped to the side as both Jack and Urban entered the house. She was tempted to crack a joke about it but figured it would only increase the tension that was hanging over all of them like a dark cloud.
Urban pulled her into a hug, "Hey, sis."
She hugged him back tightly, "Hey."
She turned toward Jack, shifting her weight from foot to foot as she gently broached, "If you guys haven't had lunch yet, I could make something while you pack."
"We're good. I don't plan on being here long," Jack answered as he turned to head toward their bedroom.
"He just needs some time, Shae, “Urban tossed an arm over her shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. "He wasn't really angry or upset with you the past few days. He was going stir-crazy trying to figure out how to clear his name so you wouldn't hate him. Once the video dropped, he finally got hit with how it felt for you to not believe him--which no one in our circle blames you for. It looked bad and, to be honest, the only reason we believed him is because we were with him."
She reached up and squeezed his hand, "I know. I'm not mad that he's acting this way. I'm just sad because I don't really know how to fix it."
"All of PG and Neelam and Chris are doing our best to get him in a better headspace. Just keep showing up as much as he'll allow you to, and I think it'll work out."
She nodded and then headed to the bedroom. When she entered, she found Jack sitting on their bed with his head in his hands, suitcase at his feet. She cleared her throat and Jack looked up, eyes shiny from unshed tears. 
“Are you okay?”
He blinked a few times to bring her into focus, “You packed my suitcase?”
“Oh...um...yeah. Just the one, though.” Shae wrung her hands together and started to ramble, “I know I usually do it because you always forget things, but I left the other one empty in case there were things you wanted that I didn't think of. I just packed the necessities and stuff you always lounge around the house in since you weren't here to tell me which clothes you wanted. Was that overstepping? I'm sorry if it was. I was just trying to be helpful. I can undo it.”
Shae walked over to the bed and reached for the suitcase, but Jack reached out to grab her wrist and pulled her into his lap. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck as he buried his face into hers. She lightly ran her fingers through his hair, and they sat that way for a few minutes, just breathing each other in.
Jack started to kiss her neck and she pulled away slightly, “Jack, what are y-“
He cut her off by softly grabbing her face and pulling her in for a kiss that she hastily returned. Shae felt her heart begin to race as he slipped his tongue into her mouth, exploring every crevice.
Jack turned them so that Shae was on her back and he was in between her legs. He didn’t break the kiss as he movies to pull off the leggings that she was wearing.
Shea wrenched her lips from his and panted, "We can't. Urban is in the living room.”
"Wouldn’t be the first time he overheard us." He flippantly countered with a shrug before reclaiming her lips which she instantly melted into.
This time, when he moved to take off her leggings, she lifted her hips to help him. He hurriedly pulled his pants down just enough to slip his dick out. Jack quickly lined himself up with her entrance and slid into her with one solid stroke.
Shae groaned into his mouth as she tried to adjust to having him inside of her. Jack set a frenzied pace as he reached down to wrap one of her legs around his waist.
"Fuck," he hissed as she scratched at his back. He angled his head to growl in her ear, "You always feel so good. How could I ever want anyone else?"
Shae whimpered when he pulled back slightly and tugged at her braids so she was looking up at him, “When I know how to make you feel this good, how could you think I’d be this way with anyone else?”
She reached up to cup his face but the softness of her touch and the look in her eyes held far too much emotion for Jack. He gently grabbed her wrist and pinned her arm above her head as he recaptured her lips in a searing kiss.
Jack could feel the signs that he was close to finishing and reached in between them to circle her clit with his fingers, still determined to prioritize Shae getting off before he did.
He swallowed her sob as she came. The feeling of her clenching around him was enough to send him over the edge.
He stayed on top of her, head buried in the crook of her neck as she rubbed her hands up and down his back. Her mouth is right beside his ear and Shae can't help but find herself chanting 'I’m sorry' and 'I love you' over and over again.
He finally rolled over onto his back to blankly stare at the ceiling as he tucked his dick back into his sweats.
Shae waited to see what he was going to say and found herself having to blink back tears when he did.
“We shouldn't have done that.”
She turned on her side, resting her head on her arm as she meekly replied, “Maybe not, but I think we both needed it.”
“I just...” Jack scratched his beard, “I just don't want to give you false hope or mixed signals.”
Shae felt like a bucket of cold water had been poured over her, “What is that supposed to mean?”
“It means exactly what you think it means.” He sat up and he let out a ragged breath, "We're not okay right now. And technically, you broke up with me before I left the house, so we aren't even actually together.”
Waves of hurt and anger washed over her, but after the chaos that had surrounded them over the past week, she didn’t feel like she had any real standing to argue.
Shae stood and grabbed her discarded leggings, clumsily pulling them back on as she mumbled, “I'll go wait in the living room with Urban.”
Before she can get too far out of his grasp, he gently grabbed her arm, lightly caressing it with his thumb as he murmured, "I'm not trying to intentionally hurt you, Shae. I swear I'm not.”
“I know.” She leaned down to kiss the top of his head and gave a defeated sigh, “I know.”
Shae quickly walked down the hall and past the living room to grab her keys off the wall. As she pulled a pair of tennis shoes off the shoe rack next to the door and started to put them on, Urban moved to stop her.
“Where are you going?”
Shea wiped away a few tears as she choked out, “I can't be here, Urby. Can you text me and let me know when y'all leave?”
“You don't have to leave, Shae.” He tried to put his arm around her, but she shook him off, “Just come sit on the couch with me.”
She shook her head, “I can’t”
“Shae.”
“No, Urban,” she harshly admonished. “I can't sit with you and let you comfort me because it’s very apparent that the odds are great that Jack isn't going to be able to move past this. So, I'm going to lose him. Sure, maybe PG will keep in touch here and there, but it won’t be the same as it has been. It can’t be. Y’all are his people. I need to start preparing for that so I can't be here with you two. Not right now.”
“Okay, fine,” he conceded. “But you shouldn't be driving. Not with how upset you are. Regardless of what he's feeling right now, he loves you. He'd never forgive himself or me if you stormed out of here and got into an accident. He shouldn't be too much longer. Maybe just go for a walk around the neighborhood?”
“Fine,” she acquiesced.
As soon as she'd shut the door, Urban made a beeline for Jack. He found him sitting on the floor with his back against the foot of the bed, knees were drawn, and his head in his hands.
He didn’t bother to look up as he spoke, “Don't start Urban. I know I just screwed up, okay?”
“I have no comment about what just happened.” Urban sank down to sit beside him and nudged his shoulder, “What I will say is you need to take the next two weeks to really think about what you want the outcome to be. She's obviously just as torn up as you are about this whole thing, but you can only act like this for so long before she has a right to be angry at you for it. Maybe all of this is too much and you two can't come back from it, but you spent 5 whole days on the phone with lawyers and cybersecurity techs trying to prove you were innocent because you didn't want her to end things hating you. Keep this up and that's where it’s going to end up anyway.”
He turned his head to look at his best friend, “I don't know if things will ever be the same.”
Urban nudged his shoulder again, “Bro, why would you want them to?”
“What?”
“You two weren’t in the best place before this and you're an idiot if you don't think that didn't somehow factor into her believing so easily that you would cheat on her.” He crossed his legs as he continued, “You told us she said that the other girls were probably easier to deal with than her. You don't think that statement tells you everything you need to know about where her head was at? Ask yourself, and be honest, if this had happened a year ago when things were still good, do you think she would have had the same reaction? Or do you think she gives you the time you ask for?"
“A year ago?” Jack ruefully shook his head and chuckled, “As soon as I said it wasn't me, she would have been on the phone with her lawyers trying to figure out what my lawyers needed to do.”
“Exactly. Everything about this situation sucks, but maybe this is an opportunity for you two to be even stronger than before.”
“Maybe.”
                           **********************
Shae walked back toward her house after getting the all-clear from Urban. She stopped short at the driveway when she realized that Jack's car was still there. She started to turn around but Urban quickly came out of the house and stopped her. He jogged over to her and started guiding her to the house.
Confusion marred Shae’s face, “You told me you two had left?”
“Only way I could guarantee that you’d come back,” Urban explained with a shrug. “You need to go inside and talk to him.”
She stopped dead in her tracks, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“We leave tomorrow morning, Shae.” He looked her directly in the eye, “I know you don't want to hear it, but there's no guarantee you'll be joining us in two weeks, so you need to go talk to him now.”
Shae simply nodded and continued the trek to the front door. She tried to steel her heart as she opened the door and found Jack sitting on the couch in the living room. She toed off her shoes before she joined him in the room. She opted to sit in the lounge chair they had in the corner.
Jack cleared his throat and motioned to the opposite end of the couch, “Can you come sit over here?”
She cautiously took a seat on the couch, and he reached out to grasp her hand, engulfing them in his, “I need to apologize for earlier.”
“No, you don't,” the actress assured him.
“No, Shae, I do,” he asserted. “I agree with you that, to a certain extent, I think we were both desperate for it, but I don't know that it was the best thing for us right now.” He gently squeezed her hand, “I also want you to know that I love you. No matter what else I'm feeling right now, that hasn't changed. I should have said it back to you when you called me about the video.”
“I understand why you didn't.”
“I'm going to be honest with you, okay?”
She swallowed the lump in her throat before she spoke, “Of course.”
“I'm really hurt and really angry but part of that is because I know it only got this bad between us because things were already starting to strain,” Jack explained. “Even erasing this past week, we were already having problems. I think both of us really need to take some time and think about what we both want.”
“I don't need to think about it,” Shae exclaimed defensively. “I want you. I want us.”
“Do you really,” Jack questioned. “Or do you feel guilty because you didn't believe me, and you want to make that better?”
A knot instantaneously formed in Shae’s stomach as she realized that she didn’t actually know the answer to his questions. She was unable to fight back the sob that spilled from her lips and Jack quickly pulled her to his chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist, her wails muffled as she cried into his chest. He faintly kissed the top of her head as he rubbed his hands up and down her back to calm her down. Several minutes passed before Shae felt composed enough to pull away from him.
Jack lightly ghosted a hand along the top of her thigh, “Can I let you know within the week if I want you out on tour?”
“Yeah,” she wiped her face with her sleeve. “Yeah, that's fine.”
“Walk me out?”
“Yeah.”
He stood and then helped Shae get up from the couch. Once they reached the front of the door, he pulled her into a tight hug.
Shae pulled back slightly and bit her lip a bit before asking, “Can I kiss you?”
Jack hated that she sounded so hesitant. They’d always been a couple who tried their best to be safe places for open communication. Her uncertainty just reminded him of how badly the prank had screwed them up.
He gently caressed her face with one hand before he tilted it up toward him and he leaned down to meet her lips.
A small part of Shae was afraid that it was the last time she would ever get to kiss him so she tried to keep it going for as long as she could. When they both, eventually, came up for air, she gave him a few quick pecks in rapid succession across his lips which he gladly accepted.
They rested their foreheads against one another’s as they both tried to get their breathing under control.
Jack was the first one to step back.
“I love you, Shae,” he earnestly states.
Her throat feels like sandpaper as she croaks out, “I love you, too.”
With a slight nod, he opened the door and made his exit.
Shae was able to keep her sobs at bay until the car made it safely out of the driveway.
69 notes · View notes
agentrouka-blog · 1 year
Note
Tyrion: “where do whores go?”
Later in the series: [Penny] turned her head away and gazed out across the sea. “What will I do? Where will I go? I have no trade, just the jousting show, and that needs two.”
No, thought Tyrion. That is not a place you want to go, girl. Do not ask that of me. Do not even think it. (TYRION VIII)
My first thoughts was your theory about Tyrion killing Tysha. Both Penny and Tysha “performed” for men in a sense, Tyrion would’ve killed Penny in a blind rage because he thought she was mocking him…
I imagine Tysha and Penny (named for a coin...) are actually very similar in personality. Low-born girls who suffered loss and hardship but remained optimistic dreamers and try to see the best in the world around them - and in Tyrion. She is the innocent maiden that Tyrion tried to see in Shae.
GRRM's hints at Tyrion's violence toward women who he feels are mocking him, his slapping Shae, murdering Shae, and later contemplating violence against Penny in a moment of senseless rage over a merely perceived insult...
It doesn't seem to bode well.
Whether she is truly dead or somehow survived and became the Sailor's Wife, I have no doubt there is an as yet unrevealed memory regarding Tyrion and Tysha that will tell us what truly happened to her.
34 notes · View notes
loser-user-noaccuser · 8 months
Text
Time to get the plague
0 notes
mynameismckenziemae · 18 days
Text
A Little Bit Stronger
Part 8
(previous part here, next part here)
Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x OFC
Summary: A not so innocent internet search sends you down a rabbit hole…Bradley is happy to help you out.
Tumblr media
Just like everything else I write/post: this story is for 18+ only. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. It will contain smut, adult themes, situations and language. Please also note this story may be triggering due to the topic of domestic abuse (physical, emotional, sexual) violence-feel free to message me with any questions before reading.
Warnings: smut, unprotected p in v, squirting, toy use, etc.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
Now that the idea of blindfolding Bradley is in your head, it’s hard to think of anything else, even with Drew chattering away the entire ride back.
Bradley notices you’re distracted when you stop to play a round of mini golf.
“Roo, I think you should help Shae,” Drew giggles when you miss another easy putt, “I’m gonna go to the bathroom quick.”
“Alright,” Bradley laughs, coming over to help as Drew runs off. A shiver dances down your spine as he presses into you from behind.
“What’s going on?” He murmurs in your ear, sliding his hands down your arms before covering yours on the putter, “We both know you have a better golf game than me.”
It’s true. One of the few good things that came out of your marriage to Chad was he taught you how to play golf…and then never let you again after you beat him once.
Asshole.
Bradley on the other hand, got a kick out of it and tells anyone that listens.
“Just thinking,” you sigh, pressing your ass back into his groin where his cock is already stirring in interest.
“About?” He breathes against your ear the way he knows you like as he helps you take a few practice swings.
“The…uh,” your brain can’t seem to form a coherent thought as nips at the sensitive skin below your ear, “the blindfold.”
“Oh yeah?” He asks, soothing the bite with a kiss.
“Yeah,” you reply, “and what I’m going to do when you have it on.”
He sucks in a shuddery breath. “Great,” his forehead drops to your shoulder as his cock fully hardens against you, “now that’s all I’m gonna be thinking about too.”
“You asked,” you smile and press a kiss to the hair curling over his temple.
Feeling better now that he’s distracted too, you take a deep breath and focus on the ball.
“There ya go!” Drew startles you both as the ball sinks in the hole, “You’re such a good teacher, Roo!”
“Such a good teacher,” you agree softly, giving him a wink as you follow Drew to the next hole.
Bradley looks to the sky for help before adjusting himself and tagging along too.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
Drew wins and Bradley treats you both to ice cream before heading back home.
Hank is excited as ever to see Drew and after a long game of tug-a-war, they cuddle up on the couch while you and Bradley take the other to watch a movie. A movie that seems to drag with the excited energy buzzing under your skin.
“I’m gonna head up to bed,” you say when the movie ends, dragging your hand up Bradley’s thigh as you bring it out from under the blanket to stretch, trying not to smile as he tenses under your touch, “give you guys some alone time since I crashed your boys night.”
“You can’t crash it if I invited you,” Drew argues.
“I suppose,” you smile as you ruffle his hair, “thank you for inviting me, but I’m tired anyway,” you lie, “G’night bud.”
“Night Shae,” he giggles as Hank puts his big head in his lap, telling you that he’s staying put.
“Guess I’m chopped liver,” you narrow your eyes at him teasingly before kissing the top of Hank’s furry head.
You stop to give Bradley a kiss on the forehead, “night Roo.”
“Night,” he murmurs, eyes darkening as he watches you walk up the stairs to the room you haven’t slept in since you and Bradley got together.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
Your fingers shake an hour later as you pull up your messages to text Bradley after falling down a rabbit hole.
It started innocently enough when you searched for a ‘sex blindfold’.
Things took a turn when you added one to your cart and the ‘you may also like’ suggestions popped up; Silk handcuffs, cock rings, vibrating cock rings, flavored lube, and so much more.
Curiosity got the best of you and you opened an incognito tab. To learn how to use those toys, of course. Soon you stumbled across some videos and suddenly you were reaching into your bedside drawer for your forgotten vibrator.
2 intense orgasms in quick succession later make it hard to form words, much less type a message to your sweet, unsuspecting man downstairs.
Shae: Drew sleep yet?
Bradley: I think so, shouldn’t be long if he isn’t. It’s been quiet for a few minutes. Why, what’s up?
Shae: I need you.
Bradley: What’s wrong? Are you okay?
His concern makes you smile and it widens as you snap a picture of your hand pushed down the front of your sleep shorts before you send it.
You can’t help but laugh at the flurry of messages that follow.
Bradley: Holy
Bradley: duck
Bradley: I mean fuck
Bradley: Holy fuck
Bradley: Don’t move
Bradley: Please?
Bradley: Let me take Hank out and I’ll be right up.
Shae: 😘
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
“Motherfucker!” Bradley’s hushed curse as he trips up the stairs makes you giggle.
“Not that I’m complaining,” Bradley says with ruddy cheeks as he strips off his clothes before sliding next to you on the bed, “at all, like even a little…but what brought this on?”
“I ordered a blindfold,” you say with no shame, too far gone to care, “and some other things. And then I looked up videos on how to use those things and-“
“And then you got all worked up?” He finishes for you with a sexy little grin before capturing your lips in a heated kiss.
“Yeah,” you break away with a whine as he dips his hand down the front of your shorts, “I want-no I need you, please? My fingers don’t fill me up the way you do.”
He groans at your words, “Of course, sweetheart. Anything you want. Feels like you’re all ready for me.”
“Uh huh,” you pant as he pulls his hand out of your shorts to help you push them down and finds the vibrator you discarded while you slip off your shirt.
“Were you using this too?” He asks, holding up the still-slick toy.
You bite your lip as you nod, refusing to be embarrassed.
“Fuck,” he lays back with a pained sound, dropping the toy as his eyes squeeze shut, “that’s so hot.”
Suddenly, you want to show him. You want to bring him pleasure like the girls in those videos did. You want to blow his mind like hell does yours.
So you turn to your side to kiss him, making his chest rumble with a pleased hum when you slide your tongue into his mouth. He typically leads but it seems like he’s more than happy to let you take the reins.
“You’re going on top?” Bradley’s eyes fly open when you straddle his hips for the first time.
You nod, rubbing your arousal up and down his cock. “If it’s okay with you?”
“More than,” he agrees eagerly, sucking in a breath when you catch the head of his cock on your entrance and begin to sink down. Slowly, because it’s still a stretch even with two orgasms under your belt.
“Look at you,” he pants, watching where you’re joined, “there ya go. Just a little more, honey.”
His hands fly to your hips at your little whimper at his praise and he slowly gyrates your hips for you, letting you get used to the size of him in this position.
“So big,” you whisper, leaning forward for a kiss but keen instead at the new angle, “fuck!”
His cock surges inside you at your curse.
“Can’t believe this pretty mouth says such dirty words,” he murmurs, tilting your chin to kiss your smiling lips like you were looking for.
“Mmm,” he hums into it when you slowly start to move up and down, “That’s it, that’s my girl.”
You shiver at his words before your hand starts to sweep the comforter for the silicone vibe, flicking it on when you find it.
Your teeth clamp down on his lower lip when you bring it to your clit to keep from crying out at the unexpected intensity it brings with him being inside you.
“Ha-ah!” Bradley lurches beneath you, hand flying to circle the base of his cock, “slow-ah! Don’t move.”
“Are you okay?” You pull the vibe away and sit up in alarm to look at him, but his eyes are still tightly closed, “Oh God, did I hurt-“
“No! Not at all,” He wheezes, shaking his head vigorously, “not even close. You just squeezed me so tight when you-I-I almost came.”
“Oh,” you reply, relieved.
He chuckles breathlessly as he releases his cock to put his hands back on your hips while he opens his eyes when he’s no longer on the knife's edge. “Do it again.”
You give him a small smile and resume your movements, turning the vibrator back on and pressing it to your clit with a choked cry.
“How’s it feel?” He murmurs as he brings his knees up to plant his feet.
“So good,” you breathe, mindlessly rocking your hips as the pleasure builds, “you’re so big.”
He chuckles cockily as he starts to fuck up into you with deep, sharp thrusts and moves you up and down like you weigh nothing at all.
“Bradley-“ Your eyes open in alarm as you feel the pleasure building, but it feels different; deeper, stronger. “I-“
“It’s okay,” he pants, nodding as if he knows, “it’s okay, just let it happen.”
Your free hand lands on his chest as an anchor and your nails dig into his pec. His lust-blown pupils are the last thing you see before your eyes close as the pleasure crests; the release so intense it takes your breath away. Yet you must be making some noise because Bradley’s hand flies up to gently cover your mouth.
“Oh fuck!” Bradley sounds far away as he cums too, filling you up and adding his release to the wet mess between your thighs. “Fuckkkkkk.”
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
When you come to, your cheek is pressed against his still-heaving chest, his rapid heartbeat keeping pace with yours.
“That-“ he clears his throat, voice gravelly, “that was so fucking hot, Shae.”
“That’s never happened to me,” you admit breathlessly, too worn out to be embarrassed.
“Can’t wait to make you do it again,” he smiles, rubbing your back, “and again. Preferably when we don’t have to be quiet.”
“Was I loud?” You ask, mindlessly tracing his nipple and smiling at the way his softening cock inside you jerks.
“A little,” he replies with a breathy laugh, “Sorry I covered your mouth, I hope that wasn’t…triggering.”
“It wasn’t,” you answer truthfully as you lift your head to look at him. Your slowing heart rate picks back up at the love and affection so evident in his gaze, “I trust you, Bradley. I know you would never hurt me.”
“I won’t,” he promises, brushing your hair back before lifting his head for a kiss, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you reply and kiss him again.
After another round of sweet, unhurried lovemaking, he changes the bedding while you shower. He joins you after, washing you with such reverence it brings tears to your eyes.
You want nothing more than to have him climb in bed with you when you finish, but you send him downstairs instead, not wanting Drew to wake up alone and get scared.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
Reese can’t stop smiling at work Monday and you couldn’t be happier for her.
“It’s not going to be conventional, but I’m going to ask Bradley to be my man of honor,” she smiles, “and I was wondering if you’ll be my other bridesmaid?”
Hot, emotional tears fill your eyes and spill over before you can blink them back and her eyes widen in alarm.
“You don’t have to!” She rushes out, confused by your tears, “You just get me, and I’m so thankful you came into my life and-“
“I’d love to,” you interrupt her, embarrassed as you wipe them away, “I’m sorry, I just-I was cut off from my friends for so long but…” you shake your head, refusing to sour another moment with your past. “I’m honored, Reese. I would love nothing more to be at your side on your big day.”
Her eyes shine too as she pulls you in for a hug.
•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•.•
A/N: I was fully planning on this chapter being the blindfold scene but this came out instead. But it’s on way! I have a feeling it may happen after Reese’s bachelorette party when Shae is feeling goooood 😏
Please hate me but…this one is going to be wrapping up in a few chapters 🫣 I’m happy to take requests/asks/thots about them though!
As always, any interaction is appreciated but I LOVE hearing what you think in the comments/reblogs! Seriously, feedback helps me more than anything.
Tagging:
@lexixstewart
@dizzybee03
@its-the-pilot
@hookslove1592
@hisredheadedgoddess28
@atarmychick007
@littlezee80
@k-k0129
@phoenix-rising-starbird-one
@jessicab1991
@djs8891
@lonelysoul50
@mrsevans90
@landpiranha-blog
@bellaireland1981
@shanimallina87
@writtingrose
@fandomology101
@amiets2
@psuedochakra
@lyn-js
@averagereader35
@emma8895eb
@midnightmagpiemama
@blindedbythelightt
@whitewolfsbitch
@that-daughter-of-hephaestus
@sbdunksblog
@glowingtree
@thelightnddarkness
@seitmai
@skathanstewart
@els-marvelvsp
81 notes · View notes
atopvisenyashill · 2 months
Note
I feel like Hugh and Ulf are one of the only interesting adaptation this season. They took very flat characters from the book and explored their background nicely. When for every other character, they become more and more irreconcilable with their book counterpart, which totally invalidate the it's the true story tell without bias for me. Hugh and Ulf are believable for now because, of course, maesters wouldn't let smallfolk be grey characters
Pushing back just slightly against them being irreconcible with their book counterparts - I think the only ones that are irreconcilable are Helaena, Rhaenys, Rhaena, and arguably Alicent. I think everyone else is more or less hitting the same character beats as their book counterparts, even if the writing is frustratingly opaque in some places (because we don’t spend enough time with the characters). And I don’t find the changes to Alicent’s character heinous the way I do find the changes to Rhaenys, Rhaena, & Helaena deeply annoying bordering on Me Accusing Condal & Hess Of A Few Isms. Especially imo Rhaena and Helaena - as you say, it’s hard to take this seriously as the “true telling” without bias when race, gender, and ability biases are very clearly dominating the way their story arcs have been crafted this season and for their specific cases, I don’t think my constant refrain of “this series just needs more EPISODES” explains the changes nor do I think the strike might have affected their writing the way I suspect it has affected other characters. For them, I really think Condal & Hess just like. Missed the point and didn’t find them particularly engaging in F&B and decided they were the perfect characters to give ~their own spin to~ but that spin is done in a way that is not particularly well thought out for Helaena, and just outright a complete departure from & destruction of Rhaena’s character and the themes she engages with.
But I high key agree that the MVPs this season for being adapted interestingly are Hugh and Ulf and I find some of the criticism and pushback to be obnoxious. @maegorsbignaturals said this when i was bitching earlier-
Tumblr media
and i very much agree! i like how they’ve used hugh and ulf to really explore how the smallfolk feel about the war, because it’s clearly attempting to get the audience to understand WHY the smallfolk take such a huge step, take this risk and storm the pit. i think of that line in the og series where sansa is - rightly - traumatized by the riot and doesn’t quite understand why the smallfolk were so upset with her until shae puts it very bluntly - your horse eats better than their children. we get the meleys reaction that hugh is part of, the reaction to sheep being brought in for vhagar but not food for the people, the way rhaenyra (however sloppily written) leads a large group of innocent people to death without fully explaining the risk they’re taking, we see aegon attempting to help the smallfolk but only so far as it makes him feel good about himself, aemond straight up writing them off as necessary sacrifices, we get ulf really digging into the way the royal family treat flea bottom as their own personal playground, so he just Doesn’t Know if the story his mother told him is correct, and all the doubt that exists surrounding the low born and base born surrounding their own worth and how it affects their lives. all of this is leading to this HUGE payoff where the smallfolk, ulf, addam, and hugh are put in a no win situation and do the only thing they CAN do which is react with violence, because it’s the only tool they’ve been left after over a year of extreme subjugation and starvation. And people have the audacity to be like “leave baelon out of it” “leave saera out of it” they’re in it whether you like it or not because they’re targaryens!! they’re culpable!!!! they bare a partial responsibility for the way the smallfolk are treated!!!! nope doesn’t matter that’s someone’s precious pure valyrian blorbo and we don’t get to explore the way hugh and ulf might resent their targaryen ancestry for making them stick out in a crowd, we don’t get to explore the way the smallfolk might resent whoever’s ass is on that throne through sylvi and dyana because “well it makes my team look bad” WHO GIVES A SHIT BRO. A child just died in her parents’ arms for no reason at all and it’s just another tuesday for the smallfolk because while both teams will make an attempt to help the smallfolk at various points, ultimately, both sides see them as faceless unwashed masses instead of living breathing people trying to survive the hell world the royals have built!!
16 notes · View notes
kingsanddragonsandgods · 11 months
Note
Gender swapping Criston does nothing for this fandom tbh because there was Shae and Tyrion too and Tyrion was painted as the good guy despite Shae being in Criston's position
I see your point, and I agree, it's too much to expect of people who call Alicent Alicunt, or who claim that the Greens were not true Targaryens but that the 'Velaryon' boys are.
And I am not saying Tyrion is a good guy, I don't think his a pure, innocent, good guy, but I don't think that the situation even compares, though there is power imbalance in both 'relationships', Shae was a 'professional in keeping men company', she knew what she did or what she was expected to do for a living, she was consensually in a 'companion' arrangement with Tyrion, she chose to go with Tyrion instead of continue with what she was doing before meeting him, it is easy to see why she choose to go with him. And once again, sure, there is power imbalance in the way that she's a whore and he's a lord, but there is some element of autonomy and will power that a knight of the Kingsguard does not have. I can't say I sympathize much to Shae, she's not the 'harlot with the heart of gold', she was with Tyrion while it was convenient for her until she betrayed him for a highest bidder, I know, she was treated and that was self-preservation, but you see how it is? We can go on and on, and those are two complex and different situations.
16 notes · View notes
shynmighty · 2 years
Note
oh oh oh, 53 holding the other’s jaw forrr Aeseca and Rass? :3
Tumblr media
53 from this list it is!
I'm hanging onto @friendly-neighborhood-lich-queen's ask because, let's face it, I'm totally going to write 20 & 28 for Aeseca/Rass (because I, too, am obsessed with them!!) but I gave this one priority since it was requested twice!
Anyway, I wrote this as somewhat of a companion piece/sequel to this one, hope you all enjoy it!!! 😁
53: Holding the Other’s Jaw Pairing: Aeseca Silverblade/Rass Ordo
Nar Shaddaa was a riot of lights and noise. From where Aeseca stood across from the Promenade, a vast array of colored signs cast the rooftop in a fluorescent glow, flickering from purple to blue to yellow and back. She pressed a finger to her temple to stave off the oncoming headache brought on by the constant noise and bright flashes at the corners of her vision.
A standoff with a Hidden Chain informant had ended in a showdown atop that very roof just a few minutes earlier, with backup arriving from Odessen to see the slippery Rodian captured just before he could escape. Aeseca could feel her heartbeat start to return to normal as she wandered to the sidelines. Behind her, Alliance officers led by Theron Shan took the Rodian into custody, escorting him to the shuttle they had arrived in.
The mission was a success. Shae would be pleased. All in all, a good day for the Alliance.
Even so, Aeseca could not suppress the less comfortable, pinching sadness deep in her chest. No more mission meant she and her companion would go their separate ways. Even if they partnered up again, there was no telling when that might happen.
Then came crushing guilt. As a Jedi, this developing attachment was strictly forbidden. She knew that, and yet it had been so effortless to cultivate. Even one-sided as it was, something would have to be done before it became a bigger problem.
Aeseca glanced at him as the shuttle’s ramp ascended. He had taken off his helmet and slung it casually under one arm. To her surprise, he was already looking at her, the corner of his mouth slightly upturned as he approached.
“Don’t say it, Rass,” She told him.
“Don't say what?” The Mandalorian replied with barely feigned innocence.
“Whatever joke about shuttles you’ve been preparing,” the Jedi cast a level gaze at him from the corner of her eye. “Specifically, crashing them.”
Rass chuckled. “You know me too well.”
Behind them, the shuttle became airborne. Other ships that saw the Alliance insignia emblazoned on the hull gave it a wide berth as it soared into the clouds overhead, leaving Aeseca and Rass alone on the rooftop. Despite the echoed cacophony of the city around them, the area seemed somehow quieter than before.
“What’s on your mind?” Rass asked.
Aeseca frowned, cycling through all the possible responses before deciding to deflect. “What do you mean?”
“Just the way you’re frowning at me,” The slight, infuriating smile remained on his face. “You’re not the only one who’s picked up a thing or two.”
Her gaze dropped to the ground, but somehow even his feet were too difficult to look at. Turning away from him, she leaned on the rooftop ledge. The city, foul and dazzling as it was, seemed easier to take in.
“I’ve just been thinking,” she said, stopping short of admitting that it was him she had been thinking about. “I guess I haven’t really been feeling like myself lately.”
“Want to talk about it?” Rass was leaning on the ledge beside her, and she could feel his soft brown eyes searching her. She deliberately remained facing the city. “Can’t say I can solve big, important Jedi problems but I can listen.”
Aeseca sighed. “It’s not a big, important problem. I just feel…” she stopped herself from saying anything about him directly. “I feel disconnected. From myself. I worked so hard to get where I am, I was so single-minded in my goal – to be a good Jedi. But I have doubts, and they’re making me question everything I’ve achieved.”
“You are a good Jedi, I’ve seen that firsthand,” Rass said. “Whatever your doubts, they can’t erase everything you’ve done.”
“I wish I had your certainty,” Aeseca remained stubbornly facing away. She knew speaking in half-truths would only lead to his partial understanding.
This was accompanied by a somewhat terrifying thought: that if she looked at him now, she might just tell him everything. That she was falling hopelessly in love with him, how part of her wanted to cast the Jedi code aside completely for him, that she would realign the galaxy if he asked her to, and that these illicit feelings became more overwhelming by the day.
“Aeseca,” His voice was accompanied by a soft touch, his gloved fingers gently pressing against her jaw as he turned her head to face him with one hand. A short eternity passed in the space of her meeting his gaze. The glow of the city shone in his eyes making them look even brighter. If he had not been holding her jaw, she might have had trouble staying upright. “I’m not just handing out empty platitudes, okay? You’re remarkable. You… amaze me.”
For a brief moment, Aeseca knew what it felt like to fly over the city. Her heart was unleashed from her very chest and was doing a barrel roll somewhere in the clouds overhead. The rest of her was frozen in place, wide-eyed with disbelief and delight. At the same time, he was looking down at her with sincerity in his eyes she had never seen before. He thought she was remarkable. She amazed him. Perhaps there really was a chance he felt the same…
There is no passion, there is serenity. The thought brought her back to the rooftop. Once again, she was a Jedi, and he was a Mandalorian, and she reminded herself that this was all wrong. In her enjoyment of that moment, she had already gone too far.
“I need to go,” the words escaped her weakly, in a whisper. She took a reluctant step back, ignoring the feeling of Nar Shaddaa crumbling around her as his hand slipped away.
“Go where?” He asked as she retreated.
“To Tython,” she called over her shoulder. Her fists clenched at her sides as she battled the tears pricking the corners of her eyes.
She would go to Tython… and try to forget.
24 notes · View notes