#sga: the defiant one

[scifidancer]

STARGATE ATLANTIS / "The Defiant One"

[dr-futbol-blog]

Epiphany, Pt. 11

From Sheppard clearly having an idea, the scene changes to McKay having a breakthrough in the jumper, jutting one finger up in the air to alert everyone to the fact that he is onto something. While these things did not happen synchronously, Sheppard's walk on the meadows having taken place when McKay was still en route or just having returned to Atlantis, these things were juxtaposed for a reason, and it is not merely McKay's enthusiasm over discovery that connects him to Sheppard thinking about pleasure. Although the data had initially looked like gibberish, McKay was able to make sense of it because he is practiced in reading it, and this too is a metaphor.

McKay: Ha! The telemetry was not entirely gibberish. Bring up the HUD. I've been able to determine the location of the power source inside the field, here.

Now, what is interesting here (and with regards to the juxtaposition of the two scenes) is that we see McKay touch the pilot with his finger here -- the very same finger that he had lifted erect up in the air. He taps the man's shoulder (or more accurately, pokes at him) lightly to get his attention, and we can tell that he made contact by how the pilot turns to look back at him having felt the touch.

What this tells us is that he has not only done the same thing previously with Sheppard that we never got to actually see, he has done it so many times that it has become a muscle memory for him, it is an ingrained habit that he is unable to hold back even though this man sitting in front of him is not the man who usually sits there. And this is a clever way of implying that touches between Sheppard and McKay are much more frequent than what we actually get to see on screen. We saw Sheppard do the same thing on the Aurora (S02E09), tapping on McKay's arm to get his attention when he could just as well have gotten his attention verbally. The two of them seem to have a real need to be able to see the other man's face when they are communicating. And given the juxtaposition of the scenes, it is also curious that we get this indication of routine touch between Sheppard and McKay here following his stroll on the meadows with a woman that he felt neither the desire nor the familiarity to touch.

It is understandable that we do not get to see many touches between them, but the way in which the touches that we do see happen witness to such touches being much more frequent and commonplace between them than is visually evidenced. And like on the Aurora we saw McKay also touch Sheppard through caressing his projection on the screen, here too we see a touch by proxy in how McKay's pointing hand is where Sheppard is on the HUD. He has essentially located the planet's G-spot (Generator-spot, of course), brushing up against Sheppard's location. This confirms that McKay poking this pilot was really about McKay wanting to touch Sheppard. Even if he is only on the HUD, McKay feels the need to reach out to him.

Beckett: What good is that? McKay: Once we know where the generator is, one way or another, I should be able to turn it off.

Now that McKay is fairly certain he has found a way to help get Sheppard out of the time dilation field, he sounds much more chipper. He is confident that he will be able to turn off what ever is powering the thing holding Sheppard, which implies that he would also conversely be able to turn on what ever it is, also connecting this to Sheppard having a thought about pleasures. And later on, McKay seems to be able to instantly turn off what ever Teer had been trying to ignite in Sheppard without making any conscious effort to do so just by passing through the threshold, and it is not just McKay's desire to get his hands on the ZPM presumably powering the field that makes Teer sour. She seems to hate McKay on first sight just like Chaya hated McKay, and that also is curiouser and curiouser.

From thereon we move to a montage of Sheppard whiling away the days in the land where time stands still, getting acquainted with "what kind of a life" they have in here. And let us just start with this:

So, like. Sheppard sits at the end of the table, meaning that he had either been the first or (more likely) the last person to be seated, so his placement is not really relevant here. But note the way he follows the bearded and handsome man bringing them a plate of food. Now, he stretches out his neck and you might make an argument that he is just interested in the food, that he is only paying attention to the food. Only, we see his head turn to follow the man as he passes and not only that, the camera follows him as well. The camera panning after the man confirms to us that Sheppard was checking him out.

And given that he had scouted out the place and the people already, unlike many previous times that we have seen him do the exact same thing, he has no strategic or military excuse for doing this. He simply wants to watch the man go, to check out his rear end. We may also note that he stops his head from turning all the way and following the man just as soon as he notices Teer watching him, suddenly turning his face away from her. What we are watching here is most definitely not puppy love.

Then there is the meditation. Sheppard does not enjoy it but we see him partake in it because what else is he going to do? It's the local pastime. We see Teer meditating with him, this is true. But what the heteronormative audience likely fails to notice is that in every one of the scenes, we also see Avrid. Both Teer and Avrid (and also the bearded dude) are always there with him, and they both always sit behind him meaning that while he may be aware of their presence, he is not watching them as he meditates.

We may note how the camera comes to a stop here as Sheppard is smack in the middle of the siblings, Teer to his right and Avrid to his left. We see more of Teer as Sheppard blocks Avrid from sight, but Sheppard is also overlaid with Avrid, and he leans his face toward him. He turns his head slightly and it is Avrid that he is trying to see from the corner of his eyes. And this? Is confirmed by how later on, he flat out says that Avrid is always meditating as though he really wished that the man would do something else with him. He wanted to spend time with Avrid doing something other than meditation. Sheppard says this. Teer spending her time meditating does not phase him, Avrid meditating instead of spending his time with Sheppard upsets him.

Later on in Tao of Rodney (S03E04), Sheppard has to use the skills that he learns here to save McKay's life, he has to try to teach McKay how to ascend. While he is doing this, Sheppard tells McKay about his time here and while the information does come through a filter, at the same time it does tell us how he viewed his time here, how he felt and what he thought about it, how he experienced it all. They are in Sheppard's quarters (and the choice to do it there instead of McKay's quarters is also curious), surrounded by all the candles with McKay sitting on the floor underneath while Sheppard perches on a table, looking down at him. They are discussing the concept of meditation:

McKay: Look, you're teaching me how to meditate — not exactly good odds there to start with. Sheppard: I realize that! Truth is… I was never really very good at this myself. [...] I was with those Ancients for six months. Maybe I picked up something that might be able to help you. Now… first thing I think you need to come to terms with is, this is not a means to an end. McKay: What? Wha-no, of course it is! Sheppard: No-no-no. You can't do that! You can't think that you're just going to ascend and then retake human form and be done with it all. McKay: That is exactly what I'm trying to do! Look, from what I understand, I mean, dishonesty is not going to help the process. Sheppard: Good point.

While all the others in the village may have been meditating in pursuit of ascension, that was never Sheppard's motivation for doing it and that was not something he was ever interested in doing. However much he may have wanted to leave the sanctuary, leaving by ascension was never an option for him. While he participated in meditation with them, we can tell by the faces he makes that he found it an absolute waste of time. But because McKay was now dying, he was having to rack up his memory for the teachings he had received during his time there.

Also, Sheppard calls them Ancients here where they considered themselves "the ones who came after," but, although likely an error in continuity, it also tells us that he placed them in the same exact category in his mind as Chaya--which is to say, not his favourite people. Also, this tells us that the thought that he might ascend and retake human form on the other side probably had occurred to Sheppard while he was there, because he really did want to get the heck out. They continue:

McKay: You know, while we're at it, my knees are killing me. How does anyone relax like this? Sheppard: Find a position that works. McKay: Right. Okay. Sheppard: Fine. Now… I want you to become aware of your breaths…going in…and out of your body. McKay: In… and out. Sheppard: Do it without talking! McKay: Oh, right. Sheppard: Now… I want you to think about the things that you worry about the most. McKay: You mean like death? Sheppard: There's no talking! Think of anything that makes you anxious. McKay: Oh god, there's so many things. Not talking happens to be one of them, by the way. Sheppard: Deal with it!

This is a really weird exchange without the aid of subtext. In the Cloister, they all meditated by sitting in some kind of lotus position, as you do. That is how McKay starts going into it here. However, as he does not find it a position in which he can relax, he lies down. Instead of lying down on the bed that is right there for the lying, he lies down on the floor. That is fucking weird. For some reason, McKay seemed to feel like Sheppard's bed was off limits for him (at this time), and being that Sheppard does not tell him to get up and lie on the bed instead, Sheppard obviously felt the same way. Lying down on the floor is not very comfortable either but for some reason both of them felt like McKay lying down on the floor was safer than him lying on the bed, and it is only when McKay has something like an aneurysm later that Sheppard lays him down on the bed himself. Now, this may hark back to what we saw in Trinity (S02E06), Sheppard fearing that having McKay in his room, on his bed would inevitably lead to "an accident". There is a practiced ease to how he lays McKay down.

What is even weirder, we see Sheppard sit down on his bed as he watches McKay on the ground and he takes up a golf magazine, pretends to browse it like trying to save the life of his dying friend is the most boring, tedious thing he can think of. He cannot stand to be in McKay's company even for that without having to leaf through a magazine, showing us just how little regard he has for McKay. Right? Weir had told them to do this so they are doing this.

But we have seen Sheppard pretend to read before. He 100% puts the magazine on his lap to either hide an erection or in case he has to hide an erection. That is what he is doing. It is a distraction, it is defensive barrier, and that defensive barrier is between McKay lying on the floor in front of him, looking up at him, and his dick. That is what is happening here. Sheppard needs the magazine because he is turned on.

And the thing is, we have seen Sheppard turned on by McKay lying on the floor before, all grimy and sweaty as he was fixing the jumper in Condemned (S02E05). He was so turned on he could barely keep his voice from trembling with want. If you want to see what Sheppard looks like when he is turned on, watch that scene. Listen to his voice.

And what is more, it is entirely possible that the reason he was turned on then was because he had seen McKay in a similar position previously, lying on his back fixing the jumper, after the events of The Defiant One (S01E12) before their first kiss. Like, just before their first kiss. Possibly leading up to their first kiss. McKay lying on his back on the floor in front of him reminds him of when they made out for the first time, when they crossed that threshold, and that is why he was vibrating with want in Condemned and that is why he is struggling to hide an erection while teaching him to meditate. If McKay is having trouble concentrating, so does he. Sheppard is talking nonsense because his thoughts are not entirely on meditation here:

Sheppard: Now… imagine yourself… sitting on a Ferris wheel. McKay: What? Sheppard: Look, I-I told you, I didn't pay much attention to what the Ancients were teaching me. I like Ferris wheels, so that's what I thought about… and the fact that the woman teaching me how to meditate was… very attractive.

So, for one, Sheppard saying "...very attractive" here has more to do with what is right in front of him on the floor than it does with what ever had happened in the sanctuary all those months ago, but let us brush that aside for a moment. The obvious reference here is to Teer. The obvious interpretation of the line is that Sheppard is remembering Teer, the woman we saw kiss him, and that he is describing her as "...very attractive". She had to have been the woman teaching him how to meditate, yes? Only, each and every time we actually see them meditate, both Teer and Avrid are behind him, and this may be because he chose to place himself so that he was not in a position to watch them out of fear that they might distract him -- which is unlikely because it seems like he had come in before them and they had taken their places after him (and also, he clearly did not care about being able to concentrate) -- or they had both chosen places and vantage points to be able to watch him.

However, if what they were doing was guided meditation and there actually was someone teaching him how to meditate here, it follows that the teacher would have been up front and he actually would have been in a position to watch her during his meditation. Meaning that the attractive woman he is referring to (again 100% in an effort to think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts while McKay is lying prone right before him) was someone else, someone other than Teer.

All the people in the sanctuary were attractive. He may have been distracted by any one of them. So he is not necessarily referring to Teer but who ever he was thinking about, he was thinking about them now to distract himself form McKay. In order to keep himself from making a move on McKay, he has to think about a sexy Ancient, a Ferris wheel and golf. And it seems barely to be working, as is.

What Sheppard is saying and why he is saying it are two very different things. But even if Teer had not been the woman who taught him meditation, she is still very attractive, we can concede that. They are all very attractive. And we may again point out the fact that McKay seems hyper-aware of Sheppard finding women attractive (and women finding Sheppard attractive) like that is a normal thing between buddies and pals, and the same is true for Sheppard as regards McKay. McKay cannot help but snark about it even here:

McKay: Why am I not surprised you didn't ascend, huh? Okay, look, I'm a busy man. You're a busy man. We're both busy men. Sheppard: Just relax, all right? I'm gonna try to remember what the woman taught me. McKay: Right. Sheppard: Now, there's a dark storm swirling around your head… McKay: How is that comforting? Sheppard: I'm getting there! McKay: I just thought of a brilliant adjunct to the chaos theory! Look, I should write this down! Sheppard: McKay! McKay: Uh… Letting it go! Letting it go. Sheppard: Now… the sky is clearing. All of your troubles are fading away. McKay: Bright blue sky… I am there.

Now, Sheppard uses the mental image of a thunder storm to help McKay focus here (and he also calls him McKay here because he needs that to create some distance between them), and this too is real interesting because we are made clear later on that there are no thunder storms in the sanctuary, where these people have lived their whole entire lives. They have no idea what that even is. They get gentle rain to water the orchards but they have never experienced storms. Sheppard tells them that storms can be "very cool".

So it seems like using the storm swirling in his head and clearing into blue skies was, despite what Sheppard tells McKay, not something that this woman had taught him but had been a mental image that Sheppard had chosen himself. He had used both Ferris wheels and swirling thunder storms as his own points of focus. And let us recall that it had been during that once in a lifetime storm in The Storm (S01E10) that Sheppard and McKay had been falling in love. It had been in anticipation of the storm that McKay had realized he was in trouble, and it had been watching McKay harness the goddamn lightning that had made Sheppard look at McKay like the man was Christmas morning.

Sheppard had been thinking about storms while he sat there meditating, and if he can think of a storm again in his life without thinking about McKay, it has to be one damn impressive storm because what he had experienced then is not easily forgotten.

Anyway, this is what Sheppard tells us (and McKay) about his time in the sanctuary later, specifically as it regards meditation and what had been on his mind during these meditation sessions. And since we know for damn sure that the attractive woman had not taught him about thunder storms swirling in his head given that not one of them even knew about storms, he may not have been entirely truthful about the rest of it either. He admits that McKay has a good point about the dishonesty. He is not saying that he is or was not dishonest himself.

The next thing we see in the montage of Sheppard in the village is him walking past Teer and another woman, and of course we are to think that this signals that growing attraction between them when Teer's attraction to Sheppard has little room to grow and Sheppard's attraction to her seems to be a slow burn. We see the other woman, a blonde dressed in similar garb as Teer notice Sheppard first and check him out (raising the question if this is his meditation teacher), turning her head to watch him go. Teer then follows her line of sight and likewise checks him out. Sheppard nods at both of them in greeting, acknowledging them, and it definitely seems as though Sheppard was looking at either one or both of them.

Only, we then see that the very same handsome bearded man walks by him, and while Sheppard's first look was reserved for the blonde woman, it is once more left entirely ambiguous whether Sheppard's second look was at Teer or at this man. Regardless, Sheppard smiles seeming to enjoy his time much more than he did previously and, just to re-iterate, it takes Teer at least five more months to convince Sheppard to have sex with her, so either this is a real slow burn romance or Sheppard is finding his pleasure where he can get it. And this is something that we have seen the show do previously, something that it does regularly (especially with McKay and Weir), which is to put a woman in the foreground to obscure the fact that there is a man in the background and it is entirely up to the viewer to interpret what actually catches Sheppard's interest.

We then find Hedda, who is either Teer's daughter or sister, run up to Sheppard to help him in his daily tasks, helping him carry water from the central pool. What is interesting about this is that while carrying water is a chore requiring strength that could thus easily be interpreted as a male occupation, in most traditional societies carrying water is actually a female chore. And Hedda running up to help Sheppard in this might be a subtle indication of it being the same for their society, as she may be eager to help him because she has a little bit of a crush on him, but she might also insist on helping him because it is not something that he, as a man, should be doing.

Regardless, Sheppard seems to enjoy the company of the girl that becomes like an ersatz daughter to him. And she is very much a part of the temptation in choosing whether to ascend with these people or not because Sheppard very much wants a family. He wants to have children like he admitted to Keras in Childhood's End (S01E06), and it seems like until Runner (S02E03) this had been a dream shared by both Sheppard and McKay.

In Miller's Crossing (S04E09), we see Sheppard do his spousal duties, which is to distract McKay's niece while he has a very serious discussion with the girl's father in the other room. In this instance, Sheppard comes across more of a mom to McKay's dad but then later on with Teyla's son, Sheppard seems much more fatherly where McKay comes across as more motherly. They seem to have complementary parenting styles and they would likely make a very good parental unit, what with their their respective strengths and weaknesses. Alas, it was never to be, but a family dynamic where they had a daughter and a son would not only have worked very well but would have been both healing and fulfilling to both of them.

Relevant here is that because Sheppard does like children, he does want children, the fact that Teer has a daughter is actually one of the more appealing qualities about her to him -- if she is her daughter. In any case, for Sheppard she is much more of a surrogate daughter than a little sister, and she makes his time in this prison a little less tedious.

Another thing that Sheppard takes up to break the tedium is physical exercise, probably reminding him of is regular runs with Ronon. We see Sheppard stretching before starting his jog and again we see the same bearded man, this time walking alongside Teer, and both of them check him out. And again we see Sheppard glance in their direction briefly and whether he was looking at one or both of them is up for interpretation. This bearded man certainly seems to be around a lot of times that Sheppard is looking at people.

Also, if Hedda is Teer's daughter and not her sister, and if Hedda's father has not already ascended, then the bearded man is a candidate for who that might be. But the bearded man is not the only man at least curious about Sheppard, as the two men chopping firewood certainly turn to give him the once-over as he takes to his run.

The purpose of these runs, as revealed later, seems to have been to look for his weapons and the cave from which he came in addition to being physical exercise, but Sheppard seems to have been unable to find them again until just before McKay enters the sanctuary because he cannot orient himself on land for the life of him. These runs are also yet another thing connecting the episode to Through the Looking Glass, because in the looking glass world one has to run to stay still or running means to stay still, in the sense of Sheppard essentially treading water here.

We finish the montage off with some more meditation, emphasizing just how much meditation there is going on. And Sheppard seems to have given up even the pretense of participating in it, full on dozing off as the others are concentrating just to underscore how boring he finds this. But note that again both Teer and Avrid are behind Sheppard, on either side of him. And as we then transition directly from Shepaprd dozing off next to Avrid here to him asking Teer whether her brother, who had been the one to bring him breakfast in bed during his first day here, should not be the one to bring him breakfast... It is really not a mystery whose companionship he is actually yearning for.

Continued in Pt. 12

[dedkake]

do you ever think about how the defiant one comes right after the storm and the eye. do you ever think about solo mission john and how he’s only able to rely on himself when the stakes are high. do you think about him going up against the super wraith with nothing but two guns, his combat knife, and a power bar. do you think about his whole body relief when rodney unexpectedly shows up to support him. do you ever just —

[dailystargatebooty]

[lightthewaybackhome]

Stargate-Atlantis S1:E11 The Defiant One

This episode has a lot of iconic lines and moments. It has the standard unknown scientists that are there to serve as cannon fodder, but even that's handled pretty well with Gull. But the gem of this episode is Rodney wanting to get in the fight, which is a huge character growth for him. Sheppard tells him to only shoot when he's told, then Rodney repeats the same line to Gull later.

Sheppard is awesome, thinks on his feet, has to direct Rodney on how to save him, and finally gets the Wraith in the end.

Just a solid friendship in action episode after the heart-rending of the last 3.

[lightthewaybackhome]

Good episode.

John Sheppard + Rodney McKay 

Stargate: Atlantis 1.12 “The Defiant One”

[sga-owns-my-soul]

🔦favourite sga moment involving mcshep or weir x sheppard

okay well. if there's one thing anyone knows about me it's that i'll ship anything and i'm also mcshep trash so 😅 it's going to be too hard to narrow this down to one moment so you're getting my favourite moments

for shepweir, my absolute favourite moment in the show is in the storm/the eye when kolya says elizabeth is dead and john immediately goes from soldier mindset to genocidal rage and literally does not stop moving and killing until he's told elizabeth is still alive 🥰🥰 we love to see it, i WISH a man loved me enough to commit genocide for me omg actual goals 😍 (although the moment in the tower is also really cute at the end when elizabeth's like they didn't offer you king? and johns like i turned that down too and the little SMIRK SHE GIVES HIM OH MY GOD THEYRE ADORABLE FUCK also in epiphany when she's like ooh i like the beard and he's like it's the first to go when i get home ahhhh it's just. idk it's so domestic and so adorable ugh they're too cute)

also for mcshep, every mcshep moment is a good mcshep moment (and i can make pretty much anything mcshep if i try hard enough) but my favourites come down to:

at the end of hide and seek, when rodney is laying on the floor of the gate room and john rushes down and is the first one at his side but his hands are just fluttering around because he doesn't think he's allowed to touch (or maybe he's too scared to, scared of what he'll show if he gets to touch rodney) it's just sooooooooooo and then john saying he passed out bc he's SO PROUD OF RODNEY FOR BEING SO BRAVE FUCK

also in the defiant one, where rodney is clearly shitting a brick, having seen one of his scientist's dead and one dying, and wanting to go join the fight because he's so scared of john being out there alone and something happening to him. rodney is SO brave and it makes me want to scream and cry and chew on the wall when i think about how many huge changes rodney makes simply just because someone gave him a chance and cared about him

also the whole of millers crossing obviously, the fact that john went back to earth with him and being as worried about jeannie, to john talking a man into killing himself, i mean even rodney asking john for permission (even tho he ends up trying to do it anyways, because that's what john would do- sacrifice himself anyways, and rodney's learned from john) just. the entire episode makes me feral

and last but certainly not least, the shrine. my absolute favourite episode of anything ever, what is, in my opinion, the best piece of media ever created in all of human history. the way rodney loses everything but clings to john so desperately, the way john is the one jeannie turns to for comfort, the way john is breaking in every fucking scene, BEER ON THE PIER, god just literally everything about that episode is so insane to me (and david hewlett went so fucking hard that man deserves every damn award omfg) also kind of unrelated but it's my personal headcanon that rodney was saying i love you to john and not jennifer in that video, rodney was just aware enough to know he couldn't say johns name, but that message was for him 100%

[aintgonnatakethis]

Out of Context Line/Last Line Tag

Thank you @gioiaalbanoart (x) @lancedoncrimsonwings (x) @fortunatetragedy (x) (x) (x)

As I'm doing so many in one you can have two lines! Both from my Kolya fic, which I posted the second chapter of today!

"Is that you, Sheppard?" Kolya's speech was slightly slurred, but still strong, still defiant, still unbroken. "You're not going to disappoint your new master, are you?"

"Do you think your skin would grow back?" Sheppard heard himself ask, even though he had not told his tongue to form the words.

Tagging: @the-golden-comet @wyked-ao3 @chaniis-atlantis @sga-owns-my-soul @paeliae-occasionally

[nimuetheseawitch]

words for the wips (you can pick any wip to share): fire, yours, kitchen, and/or suit

I don't have fire in any of my WIPs right now, but I checked fiery and got this from my noir SGA fic:

“This is Carter and McKay Investigations, right?” The woman was gorgeous, even with her figure mostly hidden by a trenchcoat. The defiant cant of her chin was in stark contrast to her uncertain tone, and Rodney tried to shake off the distraction of her red, red lips and fiery curls.

Apparently, the only times I've written "yours" is as part of already posted fics. So here's a "your" from Hoping that you're happy now:

Erin is a ragdoll in her arms by the time Peg walks over to BJ and Hawkeye. "BJ? I think it's time your daughter and I said goodnight." Half out of his chair, BJ asks, "Do you need help putting her to bed?" She waves him off, "No, she's out. I think I can handle her by myself tonight. You should stay up talking. Although," Peg turns to Hawkeye as if she's just had a brilliant idea. "Hawkeye, would you be a dear and let BJ stay with you tonight? He'll wake up Erin if he comes in late, and I'm afraid she'd never get to sleep again after."

Ooh, kitchen is the in BJ is the worst!

Daniel puts the phone down with a frown. That wasn't Peggy on the phone. And he knows BJ hasn't responded to anything Hawkeye's written in the years since the war. He can't help the worry that seeps into his voice as he yells from the office, "Hawkeye! Phone for you." The sound of his son practically falling down the stairs follows, and he shakes his head. That boy has an unhealthy relationship with gravity. "I've got it in the kitchen. You can hang up now!" It's like high school all over again. Daniel sighs and goes back to reviewing the appointment book for the day and gets lost in the file of yet another expectant mother who he remembers as a baby in his arms.

This is the only instance of suit I found, from the noir fic again:

Rodney hid his startlement with a disapproving frown. He took quick stock of the man taking cover in the darkened doorway next to Teyla’s. Even with this rain, he wasn’t wearing a hat or jacket, but the shoulders of his suit were only damp, and his shock of messy black hair wasn’t slicked to his forehead as you’d expect. Teyla didn’t allow smoking in her club, which was actually one of the reasons Rodney had started drinking there, even before he’d become friends with the owner. The man must be desperate for a smoke if he was huddling out here.

[stargate365]

[SGA] 1.12: The Defiant One

Watched with the @stargatevp gang.

Dammit Rodney don’t let go of the controls

Oooh, a sattellite… It’s so shiny. Let’s steal it.

No! Don’t go towards the sound! It sounds wraith-like.

Jfc, guys no. 

*sighs* why do these boys always go towards the danger??

Like, was the a pre-req for going to atlantis nobody bothered to mention?

“we’ll be fine” famous last words.

“remember where we parked” ohmygod, I will never be able to take mom seriously again ever.

Rodney needs better self preservation instincts, thats for sure. 

I mean, we know that John’s more than a wee bit crazy…

“Let’s go take a look” John, no.

Call it paranoia, call it premonition, call it: “Liz knows how dumb those boys are”

*sighs* This whole ep, for me, is pretty much “John, no.”

Like, sg1. I stg, ever ep is pretty much “Daniel, no, do not” and Daniel dpong what he shouldnt.

Spider webs… Hmm… wonder if spiders are secretly aliens who can travel via the vaccum of the void?

*sighs* Rodney, when will you learn, plan for the worst.

“Major are you trying to scare me to death?” Foreshadowing. That was foreshadowing, right there.

This is what happens when you leave half your squad at home, and just take two nerds plus John to fly the jumper

pretty sure I can make a drinking game out of every time somebody touched something they shouldn’t have…

@stargate-stargate​: “You would not survive" like, try me.

“You’re going to kill me anyway.” At least the kid isn’t stupid. 

ohmygod, why do people always cloak puddlejumpers in the desert like it’s a good plan

SAND. SAND EVERYWHERE

John sayng he can be pretty fast is hilarious.

Rodney has a brain, but damn, he’s gonna murder John later.

I cant be the only one who thinks Rodney is planning to murder John in his sleep… right?

“What are you Captain Kirk?”

“You know they eventually die, right?”

Jfc I love him.

“That’s my ship you’re messing with, I’d like it back.”

I also want to know where he got his sunglasses. They’re awesome.

Uh oh. It’s playing dead.

John, no.

Wraith dude looks both tired and grumpy.

Rodney playing nursemaid is adorable and wonderful bc it shows his human side

“Round 1 was a draw.”

Jeez, I wonder how much sand wound up in his pants after rolling down that hill.

Wait. That came out wrong.

John, no. Bad idea.

omg you just gave away your position and wasted a perfectly decent grenade.

What is wrong with you, why would you waste a  perfectly good grenade?

they make a lovely boom

@trisarathops​: “could have been in mensa, eh?“ (im now dead of laughter)

like, i’m pretty sure his survival instincts are damaged. He’s pretty, and math-smart, but like… idk, his internal danger compass is broken?

Oh he had to say that bit about the Wraith hacking the Jumper.

I stg John jinxed himself

Jfc, that’s gonna hurt. John, no;

What did you think he was doing a minute ago? Poking his watch?

This is a prime example of “I did not think this through!

oh ffs stay down already

Use his hands?? Bro, no, i dont think thats how the tech works

John, we do not bring knives to a wraith fight. We bring guns! 

“Now what?” “Reload!”

Rodney looks so badass rn.

“McKay?” “Still here!” Yes, yes you are. :D

Um, John, is the field still up? don’t walk into it. again.

[scifidancer]

STARGATE ATLANTIS / "The Defiant One"

Aiden, Teyla, Sergeant Markham and one of the marines

[dr-futbol-blog]

Epiphany, Pt. 17

And so we join Sheppard in the warm afterglow of really good sex -- is what we might say if the purpose of this whole scene was not to demonstrate the opposite. Usually, when two people are falling in love and enter a sexual relationship, they cannot get enough of each other physically, emotionally, mentally.* This desire for closeness, for going at it "like bunnies," the inability to keep hands off of each other is all chemically induced and reinforced. It is meant to glue the newly forming couple together, to facilitate pair-bonding and make two individuals become a unit, a couple. We see this take place across cultures, even across species. When couples first start copulating, sometimes they can stay in bed for days, unable and unwilling to disentangle from each other even to have sustenance.

All of that is obviously not what has taken place between Sheppard and Teer. When we find them partaking in what is possibly communal breakfast the next day, Sheppard is not "all over" Teer. He is not seeking physical contact with her but by his placement at the table, whether he had sat down before or after her, seems to be putting distance between them instead. This is emphasized by the yellow rosettes seen at the start of the scene, being handed to Teer, yellow roses symbolizing friendship. Essentially, Teer is being friendzoned by Sheppard.

Sheppard: Haven't any of you seen thunderstorms? Avrid: The Sanctuary provides rain for the orchards. Sheppard: I'm talking about thunder and lightning. Giant bolts of electricity shooting down from the sky. Hedda: Sounds scary!

While he says "any of you," Sheppard seems to be having a conversation with Avrid, who is seated directly across from him. Hedda is seated by his side, also excitedly listening in on the discussion where a man dressed in red that we saw real close with the bearded gentleman earlier is seated by his other site (and the bearded man sits across from him, the two of them engaged in conversation). There does not seem to be any girl-boy-girl-boy logic to the seating arrangements, and if I had to venture a guess, Avrid had seated himself first, Sheppard had then parked himself across from him and Hedda had rushed in to secure a place by his side leaving only a place diagonally across from Sheppard for Teer. I have also mentioned the script in Western popular culture of the man bringing breakfast in bed for the woman following good sex (which is meant to advertise the man's potency as a provider), which is not what we see here. And we might think nothing of it had it not been for Sheppard's express wish that it were Avrid that brought him breakfast instead of Teer earlier. And so Sheppard having a conversation with the brother of the woman he seems to be ignoring could be construed as rude, especially if the sex was recent.

What Sheppard is saying is likewise interesting. We saw McKay having already entered the sanctuary in the previous scene and it seems as though this discussion coincides with McKay trying to figure out the day-night cycle and the artificial climate of the time dilation field. He even prefaces his comment with "You know, I was just thinking," as though to emphasize the fact that McKay and Sheppard are, once more, thinking about the exact same thing at the same goddamn time. And this kind of seems like a weird, out of the blue topic for Sheppard to be talking about with people who have never seen a storm in their lives given that what we learn here is that there has not been anything resembling a storm the whole time he has been here -- or ever. Where did he even get the thought? Which one of them originated the thought -- McKay or Sheppard?

Now, this seems like the kind of thing that McKay might well be thinking about, he would be interested in. But let us also recall that they had been literally struck by lightning ("Struck, was I, not yet by lightning...") when they had fallen in love, which is something that Sheppard may have been thinking about and remembering the previous night.

If Sheppard can think of giant bolts of electricity shooting down from the sky again in his life without thinking about this moment, it would be a real miracle. And if Sheppard has been thinking about this, as something must have made him recollect this moment (and we saw him starting to go through the goodies in his bag before Teer had told him to sit, indicating that he had wanted to spend some time going through the objects and remembering the people back home, the people who he cares about and who care about him), it seems as though his mind had grasped onto one of his core memories of McKay, one of the most important moments in his life; this man doing actual magic to save not only his life but the entire city that had become his home.

This is why McKay's shirt had been much, much more important to Sheppard than Teer's whole naked self; and we have got to raise the question here of whether he kept the shirt on or he took it off, whether she had allowed him to keep it on or had him take it off. Because whether he was wearing that shirt or not, McKay was indubitably there with them, in the bed or on the floor or where ever it had taken place. Try as she might, Teer would have been wholly unable to exorcise the ghost of Rodney McKay.

Sheppard: Well, it is scary, but it's also very cool. It's OK to be scared, it's part of life. You know, when I was a kid, we used to have storms that shook the house. Scared me half to death. Teer: When we are ascended, we will experience such things.

Now, sharing personal details about oneself is a sign of attraction and Sheppard has never precisely been Mr Overshare, he has always been stingy about telling anyone too much about himself. And here he is not only revealing something about his childhood, he is actually admitting that he was afraid of something, which is even more rare because he will seldom admit such things even to himself. The thing is -- he is so obviously not talking to her here. He is talking to Avrid, and even answering Hedda's question was just a sidetrack in his conversation with the man across from him. And Avrid too seems to be engaged in the conversation, smiling and leaning toward him. Sheppard seems to be avoiding looking at Teer, merely glancing at her briefly only to quickly look away. What ever had happened between them, he can barely look her in the eyes and it is not because he is being a bashful recently deflowered virgin here. He is uncomfortable and it is rather obvious that she is the source of his discomfort. And do note that he is still -- yes, still -- wearing McKay's goddamn t-shirt.

Assuming that what Sheppard is telling Hedda here is the truth and not just him trying to encourage her, what he says is also interesting. If these thunder storm that had shook the house had scared him half to death, it implies that he had been alone, that there had been no one there to comfort him during these times, to tell him that it was nothing to be scared of. Alone in a big house during a thunder storm would be frightening to a child, and may in part have contributed to those obvious abandonment issues of his. Given that it seems as though his brother had a different mother and their age difference not being that vast, Sheppard's mother seems to have passed away when he was fairly young and experiences like being left alone in a house during a thunder storm would contribute to a fundamental feeling of insecurity. Sheppard and McKay seem to have had very different childhoods, horrifying in different ways, but they seem to have come out of them with strikingly compatible sets of trauma.

Sheppard: Hell, if you're ascended, you can make thunderstorms! I'm talking about actually experiencing life. Avrid: We contemplate on the experience that is life each day. Sheppard: I'm talking about living it.

This is the coup de grâce. Sheppard's comment to Teer is not just dismissive but has such a bitter edge to it. We see her smile vanish, her eyes taking on that injured look again. What Sheppard is referring to here is Chaya - Athar - her ability to lash out at the wraith in a burst of lightning using the power of her mind. And what he is telling both them and us is that he does not care about that. He is not impressed. He would choose living a human life any day of the week. And this is such a dick thing to say to a woman you just had sex with; if we go by the mainstream interpretation of them just being two ships meeting in the night, he is being a huge asshole toward a woman whose only crime is that she is in love with him. Like Sheppard is being some dudebro, a love them and leave them kind of guy, who just wanted to bang her and now that he has had her, he wants to move on to his next conquest and wishes she would stop being so clingy (basically what took place in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode "The Harsh Light of Day": she hooks up with a guy who was just looking for casual sex who then turns into an asshole when she gets clingy; it is cliché behaviour for college age guys looking for some notches to put on their belts, not grown-ass men).

Only, that is not even a little bit what had happened or why he is behaving like this. Him making the reference to Chaya here, the woman who basically had him under mind-control, tells us that he feels coerced by her, he feels like she took advantage of him in his vulnerable state. He feels used, and probably does not even admit to himself that he might have been violated. What ever he is feeling, it is obvious that it isn't good. He did not have a transformative, wonderful experience of making love with a beautiful, wonderful woman. This is not a man who has had that experience recently. No matter how you twist it, that is not what you get out of his behaviour here.

But at the same time, this tells us that his time with Chaya had taught him something. Meeting Chaya had made him do some soul-searching and he had arrived at the hard-earned life-lesson that he is now attempting to impart to these people. Life is better lived than contemplated. Life can be painful, frightening, disgusting, petty, horrifying, lonely, uncertain, frustrating and a thousand other thing, but he would still choose all of that over what these people have spent their entire lives attempting to achieve because that is what true emptiness seems like to him. Nirvana is the cessation of wanting but in loving and in making love he has received so much that he would not exchange the experiences he has had for anything. And these experiences, they were not had with this woman.

Sheppard: Haven't any of you got things you wanna do as flesh and blood human beings first? I mean, you-you talk about moving on to a plane of existence beyond your own mortality, but you haven't even really lived! Teer: Our lives are full.

Sheppard feels sorry for these people, he feels bad for them for never having experienced the kinds of things he has been able to experience, and the least of the things he has experienced in his life have not happened in the past years that changed not only his life but his entire view of the cosmos entirely. He has gained so much since McKay had told him to think about "where we are in the solar system" on the Antarctic base, and most of it he has been able to experience with the man that he loves truly and deeply and in ways that he would not exchange for a chance at ascension if he had the opportunity presented to him on a silver platter (as it soon will), if he got to make the choice a thousand times over.

Sheppard got to share in the essence of an ascended Ancient, he knows what that feels like. It feels like nothing at all because the person that he got to experience it with was the loneliest being he has ever met. He does not want that, that is what hell sounds like to him. Also, telling someone you have just had sex with "you haven't even really lived" is not exactly a stellar Yelp review for their skills in the bedroom. Teer is, understandably, getting defensive.

Sheppard: Well, I've spent a long time with you folks, and I don't think "full" means what you think it means. Avrid: To ascend, one must meditate. Sheppard: You're not meditating, you're hiding. Avrid: From what? Sheppard: You know the answer to that.

Sheppard is getting kind of personal here, using tough love to try to get through to these people. He is passing judgement on their way of life. The way he looks at Teer as he says "full" here makes it sound like the sex with her had not just been forgettable, it had been offensively bad. It is as though he is saying that he does not just regret it because she is the wrong person but because due to lack of experience, she just had no idea what she was even doing. He is being so harsh toward her here that you almost start feeling sorry for her. This is not what the aftermath of having sex with the love of your life should be like. She had been waiting for him her entire life, she had fantasized about him since she was a little girl and we can only guess that this part had not featured in her fantasies. It is difficult to imagine a man that had enjoyed the sex less than Sheppard is here right now, and it is ironic that this is one of the episodes that make some people interpret him as some kind of a space mack who gets all the girls. He does not seem to want "all the girls" any more than McKay does.

Also, with regards to that possible subtext of Sheppard having once been in love with the brother of the woman who would become his ex-wife, what he tells Avrid here, how bitter he sounds, there is definitely some personal history being rehashed here. All through his stay in this place, Sheppard had been wanting to get closer to this man and he would not let him, and Sheppard seems to think it had been out of fear, that the man had been afraid of his own feelings for him, and Sheppard knows a thing or two about what that life is like. It is possible he had been in love with a man that could not overcome his own internalized homophobia in his youth, and while homophobia as such probably does not even exist in this society, fear of their own feelings certainly does. All of them are repressing and trying to escape the thing that they fear. Getting rejected by someone due to their self-loathing has the unfortunate side-effect of them spilling that loathing also on the person attempting to get closer to them, and this is some hard-earned wisdom that Sheppard is attempting to impart on them, on him. What is obvious here is that Sheppard had wanted to get closer to this man and had been unable.

Teer: He means the Beast. Sheppard: Yes, I do. Now I don't know how any of you expect me to feel like I belong here, but every time that thing comes around, I'm out there alone. Teer: You're not alone.

Here, the mainstream audience is given reprieve, they are given the opportunity of interpreting this exchange here in a heteronormative context instead of what it was so obviously building toward. Teer offers up an explanation: he means the beast, as though she knows Sheppard so much better than her brother now that they have had sex that he is able to explain his meaning to Avrid, who seems uncomprehending. Avrid does not speak, he merely looks on at Sheppard, and he does not seem to buy Teer's explanation of what he meant here. And Sheppard's "Yes, I do" sounds like he was giving Avrid an out, not having meant to hash this out in front of the whole village and his little sister or niece at his side, to boot. It is none of his business anyway. So they might as well talk about the beast because that is also a thing that is still pissing him off. Note also that Sheppard full on admits that he has been feeling lonely here, and Avrid pulling away has certainly contributed to that.

And then, Teer's disposition, which had been getting steadily more somber as this discussion had progressed, suddenly seems devastated.

Sheppard: I know, you were out there too. Teer: No, I mean, your friends have come. They number five. They've come for you. Sheppard: They have? Are-are you sure? That's the best news I've-- Teer: No, John. I sense something more. The Beast is nearly upon them.

To add absolute insult to injury, as Sheppard thinks that Teer is saying that he is not alone because she is there for him, he is dismissive of her. And not just a little dismissive, he gives her the whole "men are talking now" dismissive hand flick while briefly looking at her as though to tell a child they have done well in the most condescending way possible. In Harmony (S04E14), Sheppard tells McKay that people often dislike in others what they dislike in themselves, and Sheppard certainly has the capacity to be more than a little condescending. For the life of me I cannot understand how anyone can come out of this episode thinking that Sheppard had enjoyed himself having sex with a beautiful Ancient. If anything, this scene confirms that when Sheppard is telling McKay about the woman who had taught him to meditate being "...very attractive," he is either not talking about her at all, or his comment was more about how he was feeling toward McKay right in that moment than it was about him reminiscing about his time here. Because damn.

And the absolute cherry on the sundae is how, as she tells him that his people have finally come for him, this man who has supposedly just had sex with a beautiful woman that thinks of him as "the one," who has loved him her entire life, who basically thinks he is a Disney Prince combined with Space Jesus, not only tells her that this is the best news he has heard the whole time he has been with them. Sheppard gets up and is willing to drop everything all at once right this goddamn minute to get back to them without sparing her or her people another thought. He is basically already on his way when she tells him that he needs to hurry. They are in danger. And why the beast comprising of the fears of the people sitting with Sheppard here should go after the people who have not contributed anything into its creation and among whom is the bravest man Sheppard knows (and the others are pretty brave, as well), is an interesting question. One that Sheppard has no time to ponder because as soon as he realizes they are in danger, he is off running like he has never run before.

Continued in Pt. 18

-* Sheppard and McKay seem to have started their physical relationship between The Defiant One (S01E12) and Hot Zone (S01E13), and the show had to put up an actual literal quarantine to keep the two of them from getting to each other during this time. They spent most of the season trying to keep them at different locations because they were on such an obvious collision course. Even now, almost exactly a year later, we see Sheppard more turned on by McKay holding a rod with a camera tied to it than this woman kissing him.

[random-fandom-whump]

Stargate Atlantis S01E12 ↳ RFW's Favorite Stargate Whump Moments

[dailystargatebooty]

[lightthewaybackhome]

The Defiant One (S1:E12)

@colonelshepparrrrd gave me a better chronological order list for SG-1 and SGA. I kinda messed it up because I was determined to watch Home, the Storm, and the Eye all together. After that, I had a big block of SG-1 to watch, but I'm finally back to some SGA. Yay!

Sheppard: Stay behind me. Shoot only when I tell you to shoot.

Rodney: Take this, but don't shoot at anything until I tell you to.

Rodney repeated Sheppard's orders to Gull, but then he had to have Sheppard give him orders to shoot the Wraith and reload. I love it.

The comradery in this episode is so strong. Sheppard goes to fight the Wraith, Rodney wanting in the fight, Rodney coming to save him but not knowing how, Sheppard orchestrating his own rescue, and being smart. Through it all, it's Sheppard and Rodney together.

I love that you can see how their friendship has grown after the Storm and the Eye. They trust each other and are starting to work well as a team.

I also love how Elizabeth anticipated that they would need help and sent them help. Just such a stronly-feminine move.