#sexualassaultsurvivors
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Tw, poem and rant about S.A.
When you touched my skin when I didn’t ask for it
You took my soul and nearly shattered it
I couldn’t speak about what you did
Even after you apologized for it
Did you really think you would get your way?
Did you really think Ide just forgive?
I don’t care how long it’s been
I don’t that you were my closest friend
You will get what you deserve and I hope the shame you feel never ends.
It’s been six years since what you did. 3 of which I stayed with you for. I was 13, I wasn’t ready for sex, I wasn’t even ready for a relationship. You waited three years to apologize. I had already checked out of our relationship a year prior but couldn’t muster up the confidence to break up with you because I was scared of loosing you. That was until I realized that I should want a relationship with someone who takes without asking. I struggled alone for so long to try and convince myself I was okay, I thought I was asexual, I thought use never be able to share intimacy with another human because of you. I’ve had my share of ups and downs dealing with it, but I finally feel comfortable enough to talk about it freely. I’m in a happy, loving, healthy relationship with the partner of my dreams and I’m so much happier. You hold no power over me, and I hope you forver feel shame for what you did.
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excerpt from repel
be nice, this ones personal 😩
💖follow my other socials💖
#poetry#poetrycommunity#lgbt#lgbtpoetry#lgbtpoet#lesbianpoet#gaypoet#adhdpoet#poem#writing#poet#sadpoetry#writer#writingcommunity#sexualabuse#sexualabuseawareness#sexualabusepoetry#sexualassaultsurvivor#sexualassaultpoetry
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How Sexual Assault Survivors Handle Anxiety Around Pap Smears Between the chilly speculum, the invasiv... Read the rest on our site with the url below https://worldwidetweets.com/how-sexual-assault-survivors-handle-anxiety-around-pap-smears/?feed_id=112786&_unique_id=61854b4abdb4a #anxiety #Paptest #sexualassault #sexualassaultsurvivors
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How Sexual Assault Survivors Handle Anxiety Around Pap Smears Between the chilly speculum, the invasiv... Read the rest on our site with the url below https://worldwidetweets.com/how-sexual-assault-survivors-handle-anxiety-around-pap-smears/?feed_id=112783&_unique_id=61854b466594e #anxiety #Paptest #sexualassault #sexualassaultsurvivors
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. ➖ You're not a victim for sharing your story 📝. You are a survivor 💪 setting the world 🌍 on fire 🔥 with your truth, & you never know who needs your light 🌌, your warmth and raging courage ~ Anonymous ➖ 📲 TEXT OR APP @ +254725909800 FOR TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS #inklife #inklifestyle #sketches #drawing #portfolio #artistoninstagram #blackart #blackartist #africanart #africanartist #tattoos #blacktattoo #inklinggirl #sexualassault #sexualassaultsurvivors #sexualsurvivors #sexualabusesurvivors #tattoosinnairobi #tattoosinafrica #kinginktattoos #blackandgold. https://www.instagram.com/p/By8UlDDFxqr/?igshid=77ibqh5wpy7k
#inklife#inklifestyle#sketches#drawing#portfolio#artistoninstagram#blackart#blackartist#africanart#africanartist#tattoos#blacktattoo#inklinggirl#sexualassault#sexualassaultsurvivors#sexualsurvivors#sexualabusesurvivors#tattoosinnairobi#tattoosinafrica#kinginktattoos#blackandgold
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So I had a weird dream last night (about abandonment & people that I value leaving my life 😨). Went to my desk and wrote this and knew I had to have a serious talk with my therapist and something I hadn't told her (😳). I felt so shamed and guilty and blamed myself for my crazy dream and for what I've been holding back from her. I told her 🙈 at the end and she just looked and said, "okay, that's it?" Helllllll yeah that's it 🤣😆. "Stop being so judgmental and hard on yourself. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You're here." So I'm telling you the same, DON'T (🗣Bryson Tiller). Don't allow your past to make you feel unworthy or guilty for today's progress. Today is today and if we practice just BEING (a topic for another day 😝) then we'll recognize that we have all we need right now. Pick up the self love and self compassion... we need it.... shiiiiii, I know I do. 🙏🏾💚🌱. Be well, lovers. . #lifelessonplans #anxiety #anxietyattack #depression #ptsd #ptsdawareness #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalbarriers #mentalillness #mentalillnessawareness #sexualassaultsurvivors #blackmentalhealth #rapesurvivors #blackmentalhealthmatters
#mentalillnessawareness#ptsdawareness#mentalillness#rapesurvivors#blackmentalhealthmatters#anxiety#mentalbarriers#anxietyattack#blackmentalhealth#sexualassaultsurvivors#lifelessonplans#depression#mentalhealth#ptsd
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The movie “Moxie” and the reminders of my own personal trauma and grief. (SPOILER ALERT)
I just watched an amazing movie last night called Moxie. It was directed by Amy Poehler (one of my favorites) and it brought back a lot of painful memories from high school about sexist dress codes, sexual assault/harassment, and staff members who sympathized with the bullies. One would think that would be triggering enough for me to have the breakdown I am having right now.
It was the character, Seth, who was the main character’s love interest. He reminded me so much of my ex. Seth’s kindness, sense of compassion and sensitivity were secondary reminders. The thing that reminded me the most of my ex was his hair. Yes, his hair. I hated how messy it was most of the time (on my ex), but seeing the way that this fictional character wore his hair made me wish I never complained about it (when my ex’s hair was long).
From 2018-2019, I was in a relationship with someone who I loved and adored dearly. Sadly, it ended poorly on my behalf, and even now, almost two years after it ended, I am still grieving.
I know I cannot undo what I did to bring things back to the way they were. Grieving a living person is harder than grieving a dead person (in my personal opinion) because they left your life willingly and they still exist to other people and you painfully envy those people. But grief is still grief, no matter how easy or difficult it may seem.
I realize now that I have trauma from that relationship that I brought upon myself. However, I brought about the trauma to this relationship as a result of the prior trauma I had experienced after having been raped and sexually assaulted on two separate occasions. It also impacted my self-esteem when it came to trying to date again in the future. I feel I am so not worthy of a decent man because I pushed away the one decent one that I had been with.
There are so many things that have happened that were positive despite losing him. It took time, but I am finally getting back involved with my faith. I was recently able to go to my new church’s college ministry for the first time and the topic of discussion that night just so happened to be about sex.
Years of brokenness regarding the topic/activity of sex felt nonexistent for a while when I heard this topic being discussed. It helped me begin to think (finally) about healing and what that may look like for me.
So seeing the character Seth’s hair in the movie Moxie may have been a difficult reminder of an incredibly painful moment in my life, but it does not take away from the overall message of the movie and how important it was for me to watch it.
I wish I would have had something at my former high school, or someone like the main character of Moxie, someone who was brave enough to call out the sexist standards of my former high school. How I was told not to wear a certain pair of jeans to school because they had holes in them when, at the time, it was the only pair of jeans that I had because shopping for clothes was (and still is) an incredibly hard thing to do because I am not someone who is happy with the way I look and how much I weigh. I was also sexual harassed quite like the character of Lucy (in high school) and was raped (in college) by a star athlete on one of the sports teams like the character Emma.
Yet, it was Seth’s hair that made my stomach twist and turn, break down emotionally, and feel the need to disassociate with everything going on around me.
I may not be able to watch the movie Moxie again, but I am so glad that I did watch it. And I highly recommend everyone else watching it too.
#moxie#amy poehler#high school#feminism#sexualassaultsurvivor#rebel girl#like#comment#follow#share#badass
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“Death of a Wallflower”
TRIGGER WARNING!
A project done by my partner and I to showcase the places where I’ve been touched or grabbed while being sexually assaulted or abused. I decided to do this when I was told I didn’t have a case against my rapist in court because I withdrew consent instead of not giving it in the first place. No means no, no matter what stage of sex you’re in.
#rapesurvivor#nomeansno#sexualassaultsurvivor#tellourdadimsorry#helpme#goth#ifyourereadingthisimsorry
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I Do Not Consent.
#artists on tumblr#art#abstract#drawn#my draws#drawing#chaotic energy#confusion#survivor#i will survive#victimnomore#sexualassaultsurvivor#girlpower#stillstrong#still alive
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June 28th 2018
The day you tried to rape me.
It’s now been 4 months since the incident and I am still haunted and broken by your sharp, rough hands scraping against my body. You sat beside me and started talking to me, about your children, career, and how old you daughter is. She was 5. You offered bringing me drinks, sometimes 2 at a time, and you knew I was vulnerable. You knew saying “cheers” would slowly yet surely get me intoxicated to forget what you were about to do to me. Half way through the night you expressed to everyone your desire about having passionate loving sex. I wasn’t sure why you had brought it up, but you did it anyways.
I remember your cold hands trying to unbutton my shirt and how I quickly ran into the dark ocean trying to avoid you touching me. As my memories slowly fade, I remember you forcing yourself on me, trying to take off my underwear. I was frozen, and every time you grabbed my leg to pull me closer, I grabbed someone close to me and pulled myself into them. All I wanted to do was lay in the ocean finding the beautiful constellations and wishing someone was here to save me. No one saved me that night.
I ran out of the cold ocean, grabbed my clothes and started running and screaming. I locked myself in the bathroom for 3 hours, then showered to get the feeling of your hands still on me off. I’ll never forget that day, but I know you have. But maybe one day, when your daughter cries to you that a man touched her, you’ll think of me. The girl 12 years younger than you that you tried to rape. You’ve drained my soul, and now i’m empty inside.
#sexualassualt#rapeawareness#survivor#healing#sexualassaultsurvivor#awareness#mydarkestplace#assaualt#assaultsurvivor#Broken
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i didn’t ask
i didnt ask for this i didnt ask for the endless sleepless nights ididnt ask to wake up sweating with fear i didnt ask to jump when i am touched i didnt ask to become a victim i didnt ask for you to throw me against a wall i didnt ask for you to touch and kiss me i didnt ask for you to ignore my no and pleas i didnt ask to wake up naked and bruised i didnt ask to fight you off of me as i woke up i didnt ask for this
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Time... it's something we try to rush and control, but we don't have the capacity to do so. Time is so precious and beautiful and loving, but we know it's something that cannot be replaced or redone. We can try to redo something, but it won't have that same feeling and emotion as before. Spending time with people we cherish and love and creating magical moments is what I strive for. I've had to hold back my control (actually eliminate it cuz I can't control folks lol 😩) and harness my energy and focus into a different headspace (like myself much more ☺). Time is all we have and I'd much rather spend it making myself happy, then those around me. Happiness is something we can create and magnify, once we become still and peace in thought with ourselves (finding out what makes us happy 💚). I used to swear that my mental illnesses would just be cured overnight (how sway? 🤔). Lovely evolutions happen in time. Cultivate magic and pour into yourselves... it all takes time: time with ourselves, with God, the universe, our minds, our bodies... sacred time. Not a damn thing can happen overnight (Unless you're just a unicorn 🦄 but I know they probably exist). Be peace, don't rush, lovers. 💚🙏🏾🌱 #anote2self #timetakestime #time #dontrush #donthurry anote2self #happiness #anxiety #anxietyattack #depression #ptsd #ptsdawareness #mentalhealth #mentalillness #mentalbarriers #mentalillnessawareness #mentalillnessawareness #sexualassaultsurvivors #blackmentalhealth #rapesurvivors #blackmentalhealthmatters
#ptsd#sexualassaultsurvivors#happiness#anote2self#anxiety#ptsdawareness#rapesurvivors#mentalbarriers#mentalillness#mentalillnessawareness#blackmentalhealth#dontrush#donthurry#blackmentalhealthmatters#timetakestime#depression#time#anxietyattack#mentalhealth
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I Hate Being A Survivor
I hate being a survivor.
I hate that I had to live through what I did.
I hate how people say I speak up and out for attention like I’m glad that I was raped.
I hate people who try to discredit survivors.
I hate people who tell survivors they waited too long, they should have kept their mouths shut, or they should have been wearing something else.
I hate not being able to enjoy things like I used to.
I went to see The Phantom of the Opera yesterday and all I could think about was the unhealthy obsession the Phantom had with Christine and how it reminded me of my trauma. Phantom used to be my favorite musical of all time, Christine used to be my dream role, and now, I’m not so sure.
I hate watching Law and Order: SVU and how it can be so incredibly accurate and so terribly inaccurate at the same time.
I hate dresses.
I hate not feeling comfortable looking “sexy”.
I hate the many mood swings that come with PTSD.
I hate that people now look to me as their hero because being a hero is supposed to be an honor and this really doesn’t feel anything like that.
But most of all,
I hate rapists. I hate abusers. I hate anyone who thinks that they can take what they want without asking. I hate that people are so selfish.
Yet,
I keep going.
I press on.
#rape#rapesurvivor#metoo#sexualassault#sexualassaultsurvivor#depression#saddness#warrior#survivor#ptsd#borderlinepersonalitydisorder#bpd
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Not a dudebro
*** trigger warning: sexual assault ***
I'm starting T soon, and I am beyond excited, like actually bursting, but I'm also terrified because I'm scared one day I will look in the mirror and see too many similarities of my rapists reflected back at me. Even though I am starting T out of complete self-love, I still hate myself because of everything society has taught me about masculinity being innately toxic and gross. I know I won't become those monsters, but I'm still very scared of being labelled as one of the "dudebros" rather than defining my own masculinity with authentic compassion and badassery.
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Consent Pledge for Candidates
Consent Pledge for Candidates
Here are four candidates who are fighting to define consent in our laws: Left to Right top: NY State Assembly Member Rebecca Seawright, New Hampshire Congresswoman Annie Kuster. Left to Right bottom: Arkansas Representative Robin Lundstrum, NY State Senator James Sanders Jr. Defining consent will turn our unenumerated human right of consent into an enumerated civil right backed by law! Yet NO…
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#AbortionRights#DomesticViolence#FGKIA#It&039;sOnUs#MeToo#RapeVictims#SexualAssault#SexualAssaultSurvivor CodifyConsent
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I’m ready to kill for Jasmine Eiland bruh. Looking at that video brought me to tears bruh. Like I can’t even put into words the emotions I feel except straight murder. This is happening way to often man. And I’m not talking about these lil bitches out here crying wolf just to fuck ppl life up for clout and money. She was legitimately RAPED on LIVE. She has to CONSTANTLY relive this trauma over and over again because it’s now a viral video as if it’s a new dance craze. And people STILL are calling her a liar/victim shaming her. This world is fucking SICK!! I hope every single last one on you mfs who are siding with rapist burn in hell. Matter fact naw that would be too easy I hope y’all burn right here on Earth and ppl walk past y’all bitch asses and keep walking just like the bum bitch made ass niggas on that fucking video. And I hope they burn too!! On God I wouldn’t piss or spit on NONE of y’all!! Fuck this diseased ass society we live bruh. Y’all better pray for mercy now cuz God ain’t sparing NONE of y’all when he comes back. Pieces of fucking SHIT!!
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