#sexiest selfie of this year

[brakingpoint]

i missed your answer but happy day of the lord i'd love you to rank drivers by hotness because i think you're hilarious

you know what it's been like three days of the lord since you sent this but i've finally got bevved on one of them so let's go. i do not believe in rankings so i will instead be offering my commentary in current drivers championship standings order

max verstappen - i wont lie i know he's not everyone's cup of tea but i do find him quite sexy. do not understand the overwhelming tit hype on this website because this man would have to clench for his life to fill a victoria's secret training bra but it's fine because his beautiful autistic rizz and enchantingly bold nose make up for it. points deducted because i can tell his skincare routine is dish soap

lando norris - 2019 lando norris is like, i am honestly too old to have found him sexy if i'd been into f1 at the time bc even though we're only like 2/3 years apart in age he looks about 5 years younger than me. but i can completely get how if you were like 16 at the time he would seem like the cutest boy on the planet. like up all night era one direction vibes you know. unfortunately his 2024 styling with the weird desperate attempt at facial hair makes him look like a man who uses snapchat for evil

charles leclerc - objectively beautiful man crafted by the gods themselves but i can't honestly say he makes me feel anything carnally. i look at him as i would a marble sculpture in a museum

oscar piastri - he is not a bad looking guy but he does nothing for me. partially an age thing and partially his complete lack of rizz. he doesn't have time to be sexy he's got a job to do and that job is scaring the pants off lando norris every time he's within DRS range

carlos sainz - sometimes i think he is one of the top 10 sexiest men ever to exist on the planet and sometimes i think he looks like that really angry eagle off the muppets. he's got to work the right angles

lewis hamilton - much like charles leclerc he is someone who is so deeply objectively sexy that it almost reverts to me feeling nothing wait a second somebody just beamed psychic images of those interviews from like singapore 2019 where he had his hair up but with a couple bits framing his face so gorgeously and now i can't form words or think of anything else

george russell - the thing you have to understand is i went to oxford and i went clubbing a lot in oxford and so i have made out with a number of george russell lookalikes that is easily in the double figures. and i have zero regrets

sergio perez - he's not sexy he is like a cabbage patch doll whose nose i want to boop so fondly as i very gently whisper in his ear to DRIVE FUCKING FASTER

fernando alonso - i don't find him sexy but at the same time i can understand why lance stroll does

nico hulkenberg - i feel like you either have to be a really really straight woman or a really really gay european man to find him hot. and i am unfortunately neither

lance stroll - i'm refraining from answering until he grows his hair back out. at which point i will still refrain from answering but moreso for my own dignity

yuki tsunoda - we must not underestimate the rizz of a man so short he could be a back up dancer on sabrina carpenter's short 'n' sweet tour. i can unequivocally say i would

alex albon - you see physically he is not really my type but being engaged in conversation with him for more than five minutes would have me so horny i can barely breathe. i just love a dork yknow. i feel like i'd match with him on tinder by the strength of his bio even though his selfies are a bit shit and then i'd be actively drooling throughout the entire date

daniel ricciardo - in 2018, yes. in 2021 onwards, no. was he in some sort of reverse dorian grey situation where his portrait has gotten both hotter and attained better f1 results? who knows

pierre gasly - if he brings back the long swoopy hair with the frosted tips we are back in fucking business quite frankly

ollie bearman - i know he's technically an adult but he looks so young that even including him in this poll as an aside feels noncey to me

kevin magnussen - i have nothing to say. next

esteban ocon - he's tall, i suppose

franco colapinto - once again it's an ollie bearman situation where i can objectively acknowledge that he's a handsome lad but i've been following him since he was 19. i CANNOT see him that way.

zhou guanyu - i feel like his inherent swag is wasted in f1 i'd probably fancy him a lot more if he was some rando catwalk model i saw reblogged onto my dash precisely once when he was walking the runway in dior's latest collection at paris fashion week or something

logan sargeant (rip) - i really can't knock the people who fancy him because i feel like if you're american making out with 5000 guys who look just like him at college parties is my equivalent of making out with a ton of george russell impersonators at oxford. but thus i cannot see it due to our vastly different life experiences

valtteri bottas - he's hot in the way that like i walk into a gay bar and see the posters of men in leather jockstraps plastered around the place and go you know what this is not targeted to me but i can see why this is hugely titillating to the people these pictures were actually put up for. he's the closest to 1980s gay porn we have on this grid and i have to hugely respect that even if he's not my personal type

bonus liam lawson round - he looks like he was meant to debut in a boyband circa 2014 but accidentally got locked in a portaloo before their first recording session and they just kind of forgot about him there and he's just stumbled out into the daylight right now for the first time in 10 years and he's a little startled and hasn't learned about modern fashion yet but he's still kind of hot to people who would have desperately fancied luke from 5SOS were they above the age of seven at the time that band debuted

[h00nerz]

power up!

ZERO / the better dream team 😍

masterlist | next

y/n ✩ ‘02 liner. minecraft streamer but the cool kind (at least She thinks it’s cool). has a Huge crush on popular streamer soobin. like she is obsessed with him. roommates with felix. childhood besties with ryujin and yeji. has never beaten the ender dragon. started going to school for graphic design then dropped out to stream full time.

felix ✩ ‘00 liner. league of legends streamer. he’s not very good most of his viewers are just teenage girls who think he’s hot. takes apart his pc and puts it back together for fun. australian. constantly gets bullied by the girls. roommates with y/n. posts lots of selfies.

ryujin ✩ ‘01 liner. childhood friend of y/n. has been dating yeji since her sophomore year of high school. kind of started streaming as a joke but now she loves it. streams all kinds of random stuff like reactions or bullying kids on roblox. always getting hit tweets. y/n’s second biggest hater. top 10 sexiest ladies on twitch fr!!

yeji ✩ ‘00 liner. also a childhood friend of y/n. has been dating ryujin so long they’re like one person atp. the only one who doesn’t stream she’s just there for emotional support. she appears in streams a lot tho. fans love her. has 5000 follower requests. y/n’s number 1 hater. loves cats. tweets mostly about ryujin, cats, and being a y/n anti.

tag list (open) @jakeshands @ughsoobin @robinsluva @blaaiissee @hyuk4ngel @yeonboy @naveries @tocupid @mjlasagna @lunaavity @dewyboi @vianna99 @exohclipse @ttyunz @i1l0-n4 @mazeinthemoon @luvsoobs @n0-thisispatrick @arizzu @huckleberrykai @222brainrot @heartsforhyunjin @destairea @owotalks @loveliii @haohyo @cowsmicwu @heavenhannie @beomsbeanie @blamemef0rit @soobhns @haechansbbg @mackjestic @wonioml @alyssajavenss @koala-wonderland

[dsudis]

(Everything Looks Worse) In Black and White

(IDK guys "Kodachrome" was in my commuting playlist yesterday and then this happened.)

Hob was not, by nature, particularly introspective. Still, he did know that one of the things that had kept him sane for six hundred years was the way that he had been able to adapt, not again and again but continuously. He changed with the times as they changed around him, not just in mimicry of everyone around him but truly.

Cell phones had been an exciting new gadget to him, and then a useful tool, and then, in time, as deeply embedded in his life as they were for anyone else who was a busy adult in London in the third decade of the twenty-first century.

All this was to say that it did, of course, occur to him to try to take selfies with Dream when things advanced between them to the point where he ought to have couple photos in his phone. The first picture he dared to actually take, though, was the first morning he woke up to find Dream lying in his bed looking rumpled and sweet.

Hob hadn't even really thought about it, just reached over for his phone and swiped up the camera, snapping a few shots before he looked directly at his phone. He was too busy looking at the way the early morning light made Dream look soft and warm, raising red-brown highlights in his black hair and warming the cool paleness of his skin. There was just enough light to reveal the blue of one half-open eye as Dream squinted and then glared at him.

Hob only looked at his phone when it made a strange mournful noise he'd never heard from it before; he had a bare glimpse of something weird and pixelated before the screen went black.

He frowned down at it, and Dream murmured in his lowest, sexiest rumble, "Is that infernal device of more interest than your lover naked in your bed, Hob Gadling?"

Hob tossed the phone over his shoulder and rolled toward Dream to kiss him and then climb on top of him. Hob didn't think about his phone for a while after that.

It was only after Dream had gone back to the Dreaming and Hob was trying to get on with his day that he hunted down where his phone had landed. It was physically unharmed—he'd long since learned the benefits of a sturdy case—but wouldn't turn back on for love or money. When Hob opened it up he found that some of its insides had melted.

The next time Dream stopped by, Hob showed it to him. "What did you do to my phone? Were you that annoyed to have your picture taken?"

Dream frowned—Hob hastily checked to be sure his new phone was nowhere in range—but he looked honestly confused. "I... did not intend to, my love. I apologize."

"No, no, my own fault," Hob said. "But now I'm curious."

He went and dug up an old phone. He kept meaning to trade them in or recycle them or donate them somewhere, but somehow he always had an old one or two floating around and never remembered it was there when he actually needed a replacement. Now he plugged it in under Dream's curious gaze, and waited until he could power it on.

He checked that the phone seemed basically functional, and then swiped open the camera and pointed it at Dream.

He clicked once, under Dream's baffled but benign gaze, and then looked down at the screen.

What should have been a photo of his otherworldly gorgeous beloved was just a smear of black and white.

"Huh," Hob said.

He showed it to Dream, who tilted his head in interest. "I suppose the device is trying to capture what it cannot. My appearance, to any living being, is mediated by expectations. Dreamers see me in a way that fits their own perceptions, but," Dream gestured at himself. "This is not a body like yours, as much as it looks and feels like one to you."

"Huh," Hob said, staring at the photo again, an objective glimpse at the unknowable vastness of Dream.

Then he clicked another photo, and another, and another, until the phone made a mournful noise and died. Since he didn't have to fling it away at once, he tapped a finger experimentally at the back until he found where it felt burning-hot; a sniff gave up a distinct smell of fried components and liquefied silicon.

"Are you quite satisfied?" Dream asked. There was a tiny smile on his face when Hob looked up.

Hob grinned back. "Oh, no," he said. "I'm just getting started."

Clearly anything with electronics was out, so Hob went shopping in various storage units and online. Proper film cameras captured different kinds of black-and-white blurs; Hob took up developing his own film to experiment with processes. He managed to pull weird iridescence in the blackest black and brightest white sometimes. He captured slight variations of shape.

He read the darkness and brightness like tea leaves, like omens. It was fun for a while, and then fascinating, trying to discern some truth of Dream's nature, some hint of his real form.

As time went on, and Dream told him less and less of what was going on in the Dreaming when they weren't together, Hob started to feel differently about it. It started to feel like it mattered. Like he had to catch an image of Dream.

Like he wasn't going to be able to keep him, and was going to need something to remember him by.

There was a day when Dream came to him quiet, withdrawn. There were no tear tracks on his face, but he smelled of salt, and he wouldn't meet Hob's eyes.

It was habit, by then, to set up the camera, to snap a few pictures. Dream didn't seem to notice. Hob hardly noticed himself.

It was only later that Hob developed the images and discovered two streaks of lurid, bloody red about where Dream's hands had been.

Hob didn't see him after that for a long time.

Dream turned up on a rainy night that felt weirdly like that night in 1889 even before Hob opened his door and found Dream standing there.

Dream actually asked for a drink, for the first time Hob could remember. He didn't say what was wrong, barely spoke about anything at all, but Hob could feel it radiating off him.

This felt like goodbye. It felt like sitting beside a deathbed.

Hob didn't know how to make Dream stay, didn't know how to stop whatever was happening to him.

The only thing he could think of was to crawl into Dream's lap and kiss him—and after he'd taken that as far as he could, he grabbed the camera and snapped a shot of the two of them together. The first selfie he'd ever tried with Dream.

He didn't develop the film. He didn't want to know how it looked. He didn't want to know that his last attempt to keep some little piece of Dream had been another hopeless failure.

On a sunny Sunday morning, Hob woke up and Dream was lying in his bed. For a moment he couldn't breathe; for a moment the ache in his heart was enough to pin him in place. It had to be a dream, a hopeless memory of the way things had been a year ago, when Hob had imagined there was a future for them.

Dream made a disgruntled noise and turned his face into the pillow, pulling his arm up over his head, and—

There was hair under his arm. There was, in fact, a distinct whiff of body odor.

"Dream?" Hob whispered.

"If you are going to send me away," Dream said, his voice velvety and deep but lacking some impossible edge it used to have. "Kind—" he cleared his throat, "please, lend me some clothes. My siblings were optimistic about how this would end."

"Your siblings," Hob said, shuffling through the little Dream had ever told him about his family. Had Death done something?

Had... Destiny? Despair? Desire? The missing one whose name Dream never spoke to Hob?

Delirium?

Hob sat up and pinched himself, hard, but Dream was still lying naked in his bed, and now Hob could see that he was breathing. As Hob watched he turned his face out of the pillow, like he was experiencing the discomfort of not breathing freely when he hid his face in it.

"Dream," Hob repeated. "What..."

Dream turned over, slinging an arm over his face. "I am... just what you see, now. I have abandoned my realm. I am your Dream as you have known me, but no longer Dream of the Endless."

For a second there his voice almost had that elusive something, but—he only sounded like a human being trying to sound uncanny.

Dream was... here. And alive, despite the way things had seemed to be going.

"My Dream," Hob whispered.

Dream just barely peeked out from behind his arm, and Hob lunged sideways to grab his phone. He fumbled a few times trying to pull up the camera and snap a pic, his hands shaking badly, but after a few tries he dared to look down at the screen.

Dream was there, just as he looked to Hob, if on a strange angle and poorly framed. His pale skin was given a golden cast by the sunlight, his black hair showed highlights that looked almost red where the light was brightest, and one visible blue eye was narrowed in a glare.

"Is that infernal device," Dream murmured, a faint thread of amusement in his voice, "of more interest than—"

Hob threw the phone over his shoulder and silenced Dream with a kiss. When they both had to stop to breathe, he came up laughing; the second time they stopped Dream was laughing too.

Later—much later—Hob printed that first shaky picture and framed it.

[Also on Ao3!]

[midwestmade29]

Valentine's Day Request❤️‍🔥

⟡To Anonymous: Thanks for your request! I thoroughly enjoyed writing it 😏🔥 ⟡Valentine's writing prompt: #13 (You’re secretly wearing new Valentines themed lingerie under your clothes all day and can’t wait for your love to discover it) ⟡You can find @madhatterbri's full list of prompts here 🙂 ⟡Word count: 1,347 ⟡Divider by: @saradika-graphics ⟡GIF credit: @cowboyshit ⟡Original Anonymous Request: can you please do an story with Christian Cage X Fem Reader, (huge age gap reader is in her mid/end 20s).. Reader bought some new lingerie for their first VDay and tries some of the spicy pieces on in their shared appartement while she not recognizes that Christian is checking her out from the back and one comes to another they start to make out and having some amazing sex way before VDay.

If you’re not 18+ years or older, please keep scrolling. Minors do not interact!

Disclaimers: Oral sex, cursing, unprotected sex. Read at your own discretion.

This was the first Valentine’s Day that you were spending with a man and not a boy. Being in your twenties you’ve had your fair share of boyfriends, but none like Christian. Something about him boosted your confidence and made you always feel desired. The holiday was right around the corner, and you had already begun your preparations for it! You managed to keep the new lingerie you purchased as a surprise for Christian a secret, hiding the receipt and the different pieces in a safe place away from his eyes. There were 2 different lingerie sets you had your heart set on when you were at the boutique! A red lace bra and panty set complete with a garter belt and black stockings and a pink strappy teddy adorned with lace and heart shaped cut outs. You ended up purchasing both sets and figured you could return whatever one you choose not to wear. Your original plan was to wear the lingerie under your clothes on Valentine’s Day and surprise Christian with it as you undressed for him later in the evening. That plan got squashed when he caught you trying everything on at home.

Christian wasn’t due back home for another couple hours, so to help pass the time you decided to shower and try on your new pieces of lingerie. Once your hair was dry and styled the way you liked, you took the pink teddy out of the bag and stepped into it. You fastened the clasp in the back and adjusted your chest in the cups. The lace was soft and the prettiest shade of pink, the corset like middle with the heart shaped cut outs hugged and accentuated your curves in the sexiest of ways. You turned to the side to get a glimpse at your backside and blushed as you pictured Christian grabbing a handful and squeezing. You thought you heard a noise in the other room, but directed your attention back to the mirror when you figured it was just your imagination. You pulled out your phone and took a couple of selfies in the pretty pink number so you could send them to Christian another time. The red lacy set was laid out on the bed just waiting for you to try on next. You unhooked the clasp on the teddy and shimmied out of it and grabbed the red lace bra off the bed. The way the bra was cut made your breasts practically spill out of it! The cheeky little panties rested on your hips and the garter belt sat right above them. The stockings were silky on your legs as you slid them up and attached them to the straps. Seeing yourself in red ignited something in you. You felt incredibly sexy as you ran your fingers over the lace, images of Christian doing the same made the heat in between your legs grow. “The red one is my favorite,” a familiar voice said. You jumped when you saw Christian’s reflection in the mirror! He was leaning against the doorway to your bedroom with his arms crossed. “Christian!” you called out. “I didn’t think you were going to be home yet! How long have you been standing there?” He sauntered over to you with a sexy grin on his face as he looked you over from head to toe. “Long enough to get hard seeing you in that pink number and now this one. Look at my little minx! You’re so fucking sexy baby girl,” Christian purred. He walked up to you and grabbed your hand so he could spin you around to get a better glimpse of you. The two of you stood in front of the mirror, your back now pressed up against his chest and his arousal pressing into you. Christian’s hands were roaming freely along your curves causing goosebumps to spread like wildfire all over your body. He nuzzled his face in your hair, inhaling the scent of you that he had been missing since he left a few days prior. When he noticed the slight frown on your face, he asked what was wrong, “Something wrong, baby girl? Not happy to see me?” “Of course, I’m happy to see you! I missed you so much. It’s just, you weren’t supposed to see the lingerie yet. I bought it for Valentine’s Day and now it’s not a surprise anymore,” you explained. Christian offered you a sympathetic smile as he cupped your cheek in his hand when you turned to face him. “I see. Well, I know it’s not the actual holiday today, but I’m still surprised! I appreciate your thoughtfulness baby. Let me make it up to you,” he spoke in a sensual tone. In an instant, Christian picked you up and carried you over to the bed. Your lips were locked together the entire time, never breaking apart even as he lowered you down onto the mattress. He separated your legs with his knee before making his way in between them. His hard length pressed up against your panties as you wrapped your legs around his waist forcing Christian to groan into your kiss. He tugged on the straps of your garter belt releasing your stockings from their hold before removing your panties. He took notice of how wet you were already as he slid them down your legs, “Mmm, look how much your tight little cunt wants my cock! Such a pretty little mess already. Just wait until I’m done with you!”

 You laid on the bed a panting and needy mess as you watched Christian remove his clothes. You licked your lips when you saw the precum glistening on his cock once it sprang free from his underwear. “This is all for you baby girl,” he growled when he caught you staring. Christian kissed his way up your leg, stopping once he reached your inner thigh. You gasped at the sensation you felt as he bit and sucked the skin there! You could already see the mark forming, but you fucking loved it. The pleasure that shot through you when Christian’s skilled tongue made contact with your clit caused your entire body to come alive! Your hands gripped the sheets tightly as he worked his magic, your back arching off the bed the closer he brought you to your orgasm. “F-fuck Christian! That feels s-so good!” you praised. He didn’t give you any time to savor your orgasm that his tongue provided you before he aligned his cock with your entrance. Christian thrusted himself inside of you and hissed through his teeth as your cunt gripped him. He was sliding in and out with ease from your juices and the sound of your bodies coming together filled the room. “Such a good girl, taking me so well! Fuck baby, you feel incredible,” he said as he picked up his pace. Your body was sent into overdrive with each deep thrust, Christian working you as he brought you closer and closer to your 2nd orgasm. A few beads of sweat dripped from his forehead onto your chest and they nearly evaporated from the heat of your body. “Come on my sexy girl and come for me!” he commanded. Every muscle in your body tensed and the pressure in your lower belly was begging to be released! Within seconds you came, your juices making a mess of Christian and the sheets under you. “God, yes! C-Christian!” you cried out as he continued to thrust while your body quaked around him. You felt Christian’s cock twitch against your walls as he filled you with everything he had. There was no hiding your smile as you watched his features be completely overtaken with ecstasy. When he finally steadied his breathing, Christian left you speechless when he kissed your chest and hinted at wanting a round 2, “So what’s your plan for the pink lingerie? I hope you’re not going to return it. I’m thinking you should go and put it on and let me make a mess out of that one too…”

[msjarvis]

Bonjour!

I'm here with a secret springs postcard ask.

You find a message in a bottle and it turns into the summer romance of the century. Who is it from?

Love, El

I find that letting the sea carry your message into the unknown is a super romantic gesture. And this one calls Javi G…

I imagine you find the bottle during your last daily walk on the beach during your vacation at Secret Springs Resort. Inside a short message, perhaps a quote: “Some Things Are True Whether You Believe In Them Or Not.” signed -Moonstruckboy

You decide to take the bottle and its message with you and you almost forget about it, until you find it while you are unpacking your suitcase. Your instinct tells you to try looking up that weird message on the internet. That’s how you find out that it’s a quote from a film with Nicholas Cage called “City of Angels”. And the signature? The only thing you find is a Tumblr account completely dedicated to the actor... is it a coincidence?

You decide to send a DM telling whoever owns that account your strange story about the message in the bottle found on the beach. This is how you discover that in fact the Tumblr’s Moonstruckboy is the same as the bottle. “Javier.. but you can call me Javi..”

By some very strange coincidence, or twist of fate, he was in the same resort as you but you didn't meet... He tells you that he sent that message in the bottle one evening after drinking too much wine. In the morning, when his mind was clear again, he was overcome with guilt for having polluted the sea. He tried to look for the bottle, without success...

And that's how you start DM with Javi. Which then become daily phone text messages and then phone calls… And little by little Javi goes from being that online friend who is nice, funny, incredibly passionate about Nic Cage to also being sweet, wonderful, protective, caring and with the sexiest voice you've ever heard…

Between a message and a phone call and an anxious exchange of selfies, a year slowly passes... Javi becomes one of the most important people in your life. One day, out of nowhere, Javi suggests that you should take a vacation together. Specifically, he propose to meet you at the Secret Springs Resort where, even if you were unaware, your friendship began..

After some convincing and a lot of overthinking, you finally agree... You have a huge crush on Javi but he's also your best friend. Sometimes you have a feeling that your crush might actually be reciprocated but you're not entirely sure.

But the moment you finally met him on that beach and look at him in his soulful brown eyes you realize that that message in the bottle brought you not only your greatest summer romance, but to your person and to a wonderful future full of love…

Ok… 😶 I don’t know what came to me… 😶

Anyway.. thank you for your ask, El… 😆

ILoveYouByeeeeeeee… ✨💖✨

[colawithamortentia]

For any of you who’s wondering how tf I went from my innocent selfies to this. I went through a breakup last week. Went through is a weird word because it was my decision to leave but it’s not like my ex put up a fight. It was breaking down anyway and I had already threatened to leave so much that he was convinced I would never be happy with him. ( in hindsight, he was probably right because we wanted such different things from life)

Anyway, I kinda realized that I wasn’t ready for a relationship after that. I’ve basically been dating for 10 years non stop. I’m a serial dater, I hate being alone. I’d never casually dated. Then I realized. Fuck. I’m in New Zealand as a single lady. The Kiwi accent was literally voted the sexiest accent. The men here are so polite it hurts. I love it. Ever since, I’ve been going on dates and meeting all kinds of people and I guess they’re really into how exotic I look. But I love being around them and I’m getting to make friends too- from sous chefs, to project managers to photographers to models to plumbers. It feels liberating. And yes, I’m being sexually deviant. You can judge me for it. I don’t care. I’ve never had a casual hookup phase. I’ve never made out with people who weren’t serious boyfriends. I grew up up in a traditional, Asian household and I am tasting freedom and understanding what I like as I experiment.

As for love.. I don’t want it for a while. I’ve become emotionally cold. No one impresses me anymore. I don’t really find anyone immensely good looking anymore. But I’m ready to devote myself to my career.

[sodapunked]

🌙KONG-REY REF SHEET🌙

Name ☆ Kong-Rey Queenie Ronanio

Gender ☆ Male

Age ☆ 43 [29 at the start of the webtoon]

Species ☆ Vrobot

Birthday ☆ June 23rd

Likes ☆ Mooncakes, selfies, hot girls with big butts and boobs, himself, being sexy, fashion, fighting, extremely gory and violent films and shows, tequila

Dislikes ☆ Galveston, Mangkhut, being touched on his shoulders/thighs/hips, kongphobia, cheap clothing, root beer, flat girls, soy sauce

Basic info☆

Kong-Rey is the emperor of Thayas, or as he calls himself "the most sexiest person alive" and "the supreme ruler or Thayas". Unlike most rulers that live in Fairone, he can be described as a narcissistic person that would imprison anyone that calls him or says words like ugly, stupid, weird, etc. Because according to him, that's Kongphobic, even if it wasn't towards him.

Despite his blatant narcissism that he doesn't hide, he does have a wife and son that he loves dearly. What he also loves is hot girls with big booties and boobs.. that's literally his type of women. Which his wife Wipha fits in that type.

What he also hates is two people by the names of Mangkhut and Galveston. Galveston, because he said that kongphobia isn't real (which is true) Mangkhut because he won the undefeated champion title. Kong-Rey losing to him. Kong-Rey loves fighting and the idea of winning 24/7 to prove he is powerful and strong.

Overall, he is both a good and bad person. Narcissistic, delusional, and just mean-spirited to some people, but a caring father and faithful husband to his wife and son. If you anger him in anyway, just prepare to be imprisoned or just be labeled kongphobic.

BACKSTORY ☆ (warning for abuse, ptsd mentions)

Kong-Rey was made in June 23 in the year 1977 by the emperor and empress of the time Malakas and Chaba. A few minutes later and he was announced as prince and future emperor of Thayas. The first few minutes of Kong’s life were normal. That was until the next day, when Malakas was given the news that his father supposedly died yesterday, the news completely destroyed him as he was close to his father, Malakas, for some reason thought that it was somehow Kong-Rey’s fault that his father died. This is where the abuse started. as it all started with a hard slap in the face.

As time went on Kong-Rey had to suffer under the hands of his father and mother. His father would punch and beat him if he did one thing wrong, even if it was a small mistake, or if he got bad grades at school, he would be locked in the closet if he was caught messing around in the kitchen or living room. He would be thrown around if he dared to get anywhere next to him for comfort, his mother did the same to him. CPS would be involved due to concerned calls from people who saw him walking out with black eyes, scratches, bite marks, etc. but everytime they came, his father would always coach him to saying that nothing was wrong and that he accidentally got hurt, and it was successful, the CPS would close his case as they thought it was all a misunderstanding.

Kong-Rey only had one person that loved and cared for him, and that was none other than Fengshen. He looked out and cared for Kong-Rey and tried his best to protect him from Malakas. Fengshen was the only one to teach Kong from right to wrong, being kind to animals and people, letters, English, etc. which could explain why he didn’t displayed any violent behavior or lashed out a people, or being a bad kid in general.

Despite all of he went through, he still had love for his parents but hated what they did to him.

At age five is when he was first exposed to violent and gory movies, at the age of twelve was when he found out about the existence of tequila (his love for it went on, even now).

The abuse ended when he turned eighteen, as it was the same year he was crowned as the new emperor of Thayas. But there was one thing he now had to deal with, and it was none other than PTSD from his childhood. Fengshen took him to therapy to undo the trauma he had to suffer with. But unfortunately it would only work a bit as it undone an estimate 53% which would explain why Kong-Rey would suffer the symptoms here and there (when a robot has PTSD they don’t have memory gaps as they remember everything, while a living VFox with PTSD would have memory gaps like a human would).

Some time later in 1998, Kong-Rey began to feel lonely, and wanted someone to be with for life, someone to love.

This gave his father the idea to search for a wife for him, he couldn’t find any eligible women in the middle of the street as most of them are home or working high paying jobs, so he decided to go to the local flower market mostly run by women. This is where he will find the woman soon to be wife of Kong-Rey, Wipha.

When he was called over to see his new partner for life, he saw her and was instantly in love, so did she, they both talked a bit, introducing themselves, and they both agreed to get married. Some time after the wedding, Malakas said to Kong-Rey “you might as well go ahead and run away, that’s all you’re good for”, Wipha heard him and decided to kick him where the sun didn’t shine.

A DAY LATER IN 1998:

Kong-Rey decided to use $3000 for a cruise trip, why? To make his move and get to know Wipha. Which she did agree to go on the trip with him as she also wants to know him more. He told Wipha about his childhood, his love for tequila, literally everything going far as his love for fashion and how he can make all the clothes she dreams of. Some time later, he told her one last thing, that thing being to wanting to start a family with her someday. Wipha was astonished, she always wanted to start a family so of course she was getting herself ready to take care of a child with him. It took a long time because she had to take parenting classes for about three times to fully get the hang of it.

In 2004, Kong-Rey and Wipha welcomed their son Krosa into the world. He was over the moon and got to hug him. Unfortunately they now have to do one thing, and it’s to make sure Malakas and Chaba are to never go anywhere near Krosa, in fear that they might come after him. Kong-Rey loved Krosa so much, he would stop whatever he was doing to be with him and to do things with him, he even made him clothes that are fit for him, he would give him the entire world for him to be happy.

In the same year, there was a lot of drama between Galveston, himself, and Mangkhut. As Galveston was blacklisted and banned from Thayas for saying that kongphobia wasn’t real. Mangkhut and Haiyan used to work for Kong-Rey as servants, because they were looking for high paying jobs. They were the best ones in the palace. That was until Mangkhut went to participate in a live match in BattleVerse where he fought against Kong-Rey. Mangkhut won and became undefeated champion which made Kong mad because he wanted to be the one that won sand assumed that Mangkhut won to make himself look better than him.

He decided to send his guards out to kill Mangkhut, Haiyan and their older brother Utor because of this, which lead all three of them also including Mangkhut’s twin sons to flee Thayas, currently all five of them live in BubblPop City, hiding from Kong-Rey, hoping that he wouldn’t find them.

HOW KONGPHOBIA CAME TO EXISTENCE:

One cool and rainy night ago in 2004, Kong-Rey was in a deep sleep minutes after he did what he called his "fabulously sexy" night routine. He kissed his wife goodnight, and went to bed seconds after she fell fast asleep, of course it wouldn't be behavior from Kong-Rey without sleeping with barely any movement and in positions you'd expect would be painful to some, Kong-Rey's main sleeping position? On his stomach with some of his limbs sprawled out like a person attempting to make snow angels on a cold snowy day. Just only three or more minutes in, and he started dreaming, what was this dream about? Well, it's probably the most weirdest and wild dream you've probably ever heard of, this dream he had revolved around him, about to leave a high end store that sells expensive clothing that, he's very fond of those types of stores, like really fond of them, the dream seemed to start off fairly normal, but the normalcy would eventually end minutes later, as after he went back home, he decided to take a breather in the garden after a long walk in the store he was at minutes ago, as he went to the nearest chair in the garden, he started to feel tired, tired after looking straight into the sky only for a few minutes, and took a nap.

after he woke up, he felt small, like really small, both literally and figuratively, and thin as well, he looked into the pond, and he realized that he turned into a beautiful, and elegant butterfly, with long slender wings with dazzling star and moon motifs both front and back, he was astonished and in disbelief, in a way that he didn't expected this weird and peculiar moment to happen, he decided to use his wings to fly around and explore a bit as a butterfly, he jumped off the chair he took a nap on and soared high and fast into the sky, flying as gracefully as possible, looking down below at the serene and dazzling empire he rules. All was normal, and a tad bit bizarre, and at the same time, refreshingly beautiful for him. That was until his entertainingly fun dream abruptly ended as soon before he was able to fully enjoy it.

Seconds after the dream ended, he started hearing a voice in his head, that was saying negative words, hurling one insult after another, with the main four insults he kept hearing as he slept were "Idiot", "beggar", "attention pig", and "Freak". These words kept on repeating as he slept, taunting him in a way, in a derogatory manner. He couldn't sleep, and as a result, he just couldn't take it anymore, he awoken in an extremely angered state, he never felt so heated and furious in his entire life, as a result he jumped out of bed went on a very angry tirade on how insultingly Kongphobic it is, he never used that word before, and his mind focused on that one word he said during his tirade "kongphobia", that night would be the night where Kongphobia was born into the world. As soon as it turned morning, he decided to make it a law in Thayas that if you were saying anything negative about Kong-Rey, regardless if it's jokingly, or honest or not will send you to the dungeon for one hour.

-SodaPunked

[virgovirgo]

sexiest selfie of the year

[c0mpl1kated]

hi tumblr ✨ most ppl call me kate but u can call me katie or kitty or angel or baby i like nicknames 😇

i’m returning to this nostalgic platform bc i needed a new place for my unhinged thoughts and my sexiest selfies. so here you go, this is what 2 years into transition and 1.4 years on GAHT looks like on this baby 💞

this life isn’t easy, but i’m alive and i have more hope than i did a year ago. tbh this year is off to a tough start but i’m stronger than ever and getting stronger every day. i know i have what it takes to keep going because i’ve already made it this far !!

last year i came out to all of the people who are actively in my life and i was met with so much more support than i was expecting 🥹 i reconnected with some old friends who have also come out as trans and have sweet budding friendships there that are only going to keep growing 💞 i started laser treatments for my face and the change has already been so affirming, i only have a few more treatments until most of my face will be done ✨

this year i am focusing on stability, in my finances and my mental health - the buzzword is care 🕊 im going to learn more about skin care and makeup as a way to love myself and also as a way to play 🦋 i want to find a voice coach that is trans and also is a singer, because singing is so special and important to me, and i have been putting off working on my voice through my transition up to this point ❤️‍🩹 i’m going to take better care of my body by trying to do yoga more consistently and im going to take some dance classes 🩰 i’m going to start saving for FFS and try to set up a few consultations !!

for the first time in a while i’m looking forward to this year 🥰 i hope u are too 💖

ttys

xoxo

[plastic-galatea]

hellooo><

67, 62, 16, 15, 8

My first ever ask!!!! Oh my goodness thank you so much 💖💖

8. Describe your crush Oh, MAN... she's a really incredible artist; she's gotten a ton of attention from the fandom side of tumblr, and incredibly rightfully so because the things she makes are just absolutely phenomenal... she's so deeply smart and ridiculously funny, and the two of us bonded so fast and work so well together... she's also just started to be brave and work out of her comfort zone by sending me selfies and little videos of her plushies and her DND character and campaign and just... she calls me babygirl so often and it makes my heart flutter every single time >w<) so yeah!! I'm whipped as hell!!!!

15. Do you have any piercings? I do not!! Needles are a huge trigger for me and have been my entire life, so I don't do super well with them in any context. I'm not necessarily against the idea of getting pierced in the future though? I just need to do some serious mental work before I can get to that point cx

16. Do you have any tattoos? *massive fucking hypocrite alert* Yes I do! I have one tattoo on my left inner arm, and it says "up" because I'd wanted to get the phrase "up we go" but I was a scared eighteen year old kid who had no idea what it was like to get a tattoo and so I almost passed out when I got it and had to quit early. One of these days, I swear to god I'll go back and finish it.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Silly answer: mean it when they say they'll stay with me. Serious answer: kiss my neck. I've maintained this opinion of myself since I started figuring out what I was even attracted to: neck kisses are the hottest thing on the planet, and if you kiss my neck, I will fucking melt for you.

67. What is your idea of the perfect date? Doesn't exist! Each date is special and perfect in its own way if the person you're with is special and perfect to you. And it doesn't have to be grand or romantic, either; it can be a night out at the movies or out to dinner, or it could be a trip to the zoo or the beach, or it could be parallel play and sitting in silence! The only thing that matters is whether or not you love each other. 💖

Thank you sososo much for the ask darlin, you're sooo sweet and I'm so glad we're getting to talkin ^w^) 💖💖

[thelensofyashunews]

Danny Towers, Chow Lee & Lonny Love Connect for a Cash Cobain-Produced Sexy Drill Anthem

Orlando's Danny Towers prefers the bruising trap sound of his home state, but he's more than capable of being delicate when he wants. Today, Towers joins two of NYC's raunchiest emcees, Chow Lee and Lonny Love, for "Sexiest Soul," a debaucherous anthem for late night flings. Produced by sexy drill sensei Cash Cobain, "Sexiest Soul" is a relentless parade of out-of-pocket lines, as each emcee tries to outdo one another with over-the-top punchlines ("I f*cked 100 h*es up on a mountain," brags Lonny Love). The deep-voiced Danny Towers proves to be a natural at the sexy drill style, as he skates atop the sampledelic instrumental with aplomb. In the video, directed by Benny Flash, the one-track-minded trio takes over Miami, as they talk their smack while moving from a happening club night to a late-night convenience store rendezvous.

"Sexiest Soul" continues hot streaks for both Chow Lee and Danny Towers. Towers has been releasing a steady stream of singles since the release of Safe House, his 2023 collaborative project with DJ Scheme, including heavy-hitting collaborations with BossMan Dlow and Tony Shhnow. Chow Lee has been tearing up New York City and beyond, hosting a packed Valentine's Day celebration in Brooklyn and releasing viral singles like "Swag It," an ethereal sample drill anthem, which gained viral traction for its blunt opening line: "How do you feel about being my side b*tch?" "Swag It" recently surpassed 1 million streams on Spotify.

Danny Towers made his mark in 2023 with Safe House lead single "Florida Water" ft. Luh Tyler & Ski Mask The Slump God, which earned praise from XXL, Stereogum, HotNewHipHop, and more. "Florida Water" inspired a photo dump trend on TikTok, where creators drop the flyest selfies in their Photos app as the beat drops and Danny’s infectious hook, “Threw him in that water, I’m from Florida, but my wrist Cuban,” gives way to Luh Tyler’s croaking verse. Peaking at #1 on TikTok's trending charts, the song generated over 200k video creations on TikTok, over 35 million streams on all platforms, and reached the top spot on SoundCloud's daily chart.

Chow Lee continued his run as a sexy drill pioneer with last summer's album Hours After The Club. Hours After The Club is an addictive listen, radiating with the seductive charm that inspired Pitchfork to affectionately call Chow Lee the "horniest rapper out." Hours After The Club is chock full of infectious melodies, as Chow's natural bravado makes every X-rated flex feel natural. The tape is home to two new collaborations with his frequent running mate Cash Cobain: the quintessential "sexy drill" anthem "on behalf of the association," and "full service," a luxurious mix of drill, club, and cloud rap, featuring Chow's close friend Lonny Love. Chow followed-up Hours with singles like “team effort!” and  “ready 2 live.”

Stay tuned for more from Danny Towers and Chow Lee as the year continues.

[sammyisfat]

Hi gorgeous girl Happy New Year,missing your sexiest selfies

Sorry they’re all on my IG now

[surgerodriguez]

I posted 95 times in 2022

That's 95 more posts than 2021!

9 posts created (9%)

86 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@nichelleyoung

@detkhamani

@djholt

@devilofsf-cisco

@lunazuniga

I tagged 95 of my posts in 2022

#nichelle - 20 posts

#dj text - 13 posts

#khamani - 11 posts

#nichelle text - 10 posts

#cisco text - 9 posts

#nichelle call - 8 posts

#luna - 6 posts

#lbd - 6 posts

#khamani text - 3 posts

#frankie - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 72 characters

#bonus points if its a wrong number if its someone who doesn't know surge

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Text --> Nichelle

Surge: *bad selfie of Pilar clearly taken by Pilar*

Surge: *bad pic of Surge sleeping on the couch clearly taken by Pilar*

9 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

#4

LBD || Surge & Nichelle

@nichelleyoung​ 

Cisco was a friend, and Surge was happy to come to his birthday party - and yet it was also so large and on the formal side that he couldn’t help but feel out of place. His last birthday had been a barbeque in his backyard, and while he could appreciate people celebrating their birthdays, but since he had made his appearance, Surge had been trying 

And then he saw her. 

Between meeting Nichelle at the bike rack and then doing the photoshoot with her, Surge had to admit that he had thought about the woman more than he had expected to. And while part of him had thought about asking her out after the photoshoot he really had no idea if she was single or not - not to mention the idea of asking someone out at a work thing just didn’t seem like the right time. And then there she was right in front of him in what was probably the sexiest black dress he had ever seen. 

It was enough to get him distracted enough that he completely missed that he was walking past the server entrance, and that a waiter was walking through the door, and managed to walk right into him - an entire plate of appetizers clattering loudly on the floor in the process. Surge could feel the eyes on him - the exact thing he had been trying to avoid - before swearing under his breath and trying to help clean it up. Only to realize that she was walking towards them. 

Shit. 

“Um, hey,” Surge awkwardly said, “I didn’t realize that you knew Cisco.” 

12 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

#3

Text --> Cisco

Surge: So I think I have a girlfriend.

Surge: Managed to break my entire face in front of her day 1.

Surge: How's Blade?

17 notes - Posted November 3, 2022

#2

Parks were not one of Surge’s favorite places in the world - but Pilar loved them, which meant that they went even if he hated every single second. But the nosy moms were horrible, the screaming kids were worse, and Surge knew that he was entirely too introverted to handle the amount of people that he’d inevitably have to talk to while he was there. But watching Pilar get excited about playing with other kids, or hear her happy chattering in a mixture of English and Spanish, it made it mostly worth it. 

Until the mom that he had come to know as “Park Karen” saw him. Once again asking why Pilar’s mom was so negligent and made him come every time, insisting that she should come to her Mommy & Me classes, and that clearly Pilar needed to be socialized better so they should be considering her playgroup. And it wasn’t until Surge shouted, “How many times have I told you her Mom is dead?,” that she finally left him alone. Even though he couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the glares he got from the rest of the parents for bringing it up. Like they all hadn’t pestered him in the same way. Though out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that there was someone else looking at him.

“Bench is open,” he said, figuring they were looking for a spot, “Just don’t ask me to join any stupid Mommy & Me classes.” 

34 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Text --> Open

Surge: *post-fight selfie*

Surge: I look like I was run over by a fucking train

40 notes - Posted October 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[asideofkimchi]

I posted 15,277 times in 2022

That's 4,336 more posts than 2021!

30 posts created (0%)

15,247 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@galahadwilder

@crazyw3irdo

@sabertoothwalrus

@corrupted---minds

@despazito

I tagged 5,527 of my posts in 2022

#ml - 706 posts

#spy x family - 451 posts

#dracula daily - 329 posts

#pokemon - 211 posts

#mm - 135 posts

#dc - 129 posts

#the husband - 94 posts

#batman - 65 posts

#loz - 54 posts

#birds - 53 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#loid can’t sleep though so he eventually hears the knocking on his bedroom door. it’s yor. she couldn’t sleep too. needed to see anya again

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sabine Cheng: listen this teenage girl may have caused my daughter to be expelled from school but by GOD i will teach her the delicate art of chinese painting

34 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

#4

Yall ever think about how this man, this beautiful loving man, BOUGHT a whole bouquet of roses and brought them home because they reminded him of you and his strong ever-growing feelings for you? He didn’t just take a selfie with them somewhere, he’s in his ROOM. He BOUGHT them, knowing there was no chance to actually give them to you yet did it anyway. What college boy does that? Yoosung Kim, that’s who.

41 notes - Posted March 8, 2022

#3

anyway Happy Yoosung Kim Vore Day, everyone

51 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#2

Gunpowder Milkshake is the sexiest assassin movie I’ve ever seen. It’s the Feminist’s Kill Bill. It is so full of MILFS. It’s so cheesy and over the top and full of dramatic overkills and I loved every single second. I can’t remember the last time I so thoroughly enjoyed a live action film.

60 notes - Posted April 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

So this is MY prediction for BEAU tonight, expressed thru shitty meme:

450 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[soft-anomaly]

Outfit of the day : post-apocalyptic anticontamination suit (but it's just a raincoat)

[eugeniedanglars]

i’m shocked to learn that i even took 9 selfies in 2021 tbh