#sex drive sex appeal and guitar

[rock-and-roll-hell]

December 22, 1977

Alive II Tour

The Spectrum - Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

From a local review: "KIϟϟ does not need songs to be an exciting stage act. The foursome, which is ranked at the top of the rock pile, has blazed a path in the musical world with its outlandish garb and hard-driving rock music. It's set records which put it in a league with the Beatles as far as audience appeal is concerned. Last night was another example of the group's drawing power. It sold out the Spectrum - a claimed attendance of 15,500 persons - many weeks in advance of the performance. And the performance itself... the music was passable, but the staging and the theatrics were the equal to any legitimate stage production. KIϟϟ has admitted in the past that its music is not its strongest point. The four have become competent musicians during the long years they have spent touring and playing together but they are far from being super musicians. The draw of KIϟϟ is its features four average musicians who are above-average actors. Not only actors but technicians in the art of generating a crowd magnetism. Last night's staging for the group's concert fell somewhere between the futuristic and the fantastic. The group played from a multi-level stage. It opened with guitarists Paul Stanley and Ace Frehley and bassist Gene Simons standing on platforms above the stage level. Drummer Peter Criss was on a platform of his own which remained more or less on one level throughout the show but even the drummer's platform was rigged for some exciting activity. As the band started to play, the upper platforms of the guitarists and bass player began to move toward stage level through their hydraulic systems and the stage simultaneously was layered with fog, blazed by a multitude of lights and was resounding with the after-shocks of planned stage explosions. The chrome and glass stage never ceased to be a marvel with its intricate lighting and design. A snake, coiled around a pole, would alternately spew fog and fire over the stage. Sections of the stage would rise 10-feet-or-more above its base to accentuate a band member's solo. Guitars exploded, lights flashed, confetti rained from above, blood flowed... there never was a point during the concert when the audience even could think of being bored. If anything, it was more like a three-ring circus and if you did not watch the show closely, you stood the chance of missing one of its more subtle nuances, although subtlety was a rarity. If the staging, pyrotechnics and related stage business does not sound flashy enough, you still have to take into consideration the costuming of the group. The members never have been pictured out of makeup. On stage, Criss is a whiskered feline; Simmons is a lizard with a long snaking tongue; Frehley is a surrealistic spaceman, and Stanley, the on-stage group leader, is the star-eyed sex symbol with an exposed hairy chest. They all dress in black, with silver accents, and wear platformed shoes of nose-bleed proportions. During the course of the show, all of the group members, with the exception of Criss, took the band's helm for solo vocals. If it seems that this review is giving the music second-billing to the show, it is because the music was secondary to the show. KIϟϟ will continue to draw astronomical numbers to its concerts as long as it, too remembers, music is not its primary message -- the show's the thing" (Bucks Co. Courier Times, 12/23/77).

[polyklok]

Hello again, i love all your work!!! 💕💕

I was curious of your opinion about skwickles and if you have headcanons for them? (≧∀≦*)

Well, firstly, I’m all for every single inter-Dethklok ship and I don’t think I really hate any of the ‘mainstream’ ships for the show in general. The only exception to this is maybe Natgail but I think that’s cause Abigail has 0 appeal to me the writers did her so dirty. So you can bet your ass that I love Skwickles even I can’t pronounce it for shit.

I think they would first get together in Dethklok’s early days, five boys squeezed together in a small apartment and making music. Skwisgaar and Pickles shared a room, Skwisgaar having a futon floor mattress shoved in one corner and Pickles having a bundle of clothes, blankets, and a single pillow that he often just fell into in the other. Pickles, a washed up glamrock star, and Skwisgaar, a mysterious guitarist that hardly spoke any English.

Out of anybody in the band, they had the highest sex drives and most flexible sexualities. Pickles was charming and scrappy, Skwisgaar was seductive and passionate. They just sort of fell into each other…on several occasions. It became routine for Skwisgaar to pluck mindlessly as his guitar while Pickles did a horrid job of explaining the English language and then fucking each other to sleep.

Even as Dethklok rapidly grew in popularity and hoards of groupies were throwing themselves at them; the two grew apart a bit sexually but ultimately had a stronger relationship.

With their consistent drunkenness, shameless horniness, and pure audacity, it’s not uncommon for all the members of Dethklok to occasionally get frisky with each other simply for ‘convenience’. There was an unspoken rule to do the deed and then never speak of it again. But with Pickles and Skwisgaar, they often didn’t seem uncomfortable by their experience with messing around, even teasing each other with tones that were oh-so-slightly flirty.

I’ll say that, for the sake of these headcanons, they have a complicated friends-with-benefits relationship rather than an official one. It’s not gay if it’s your band mate, am I right?

Skwisgaar is a perfectionist and has some workaholic tendencies. He’ll shred and shred at his guitar until it sounds just right to his ears, even if his hands ache and his fingertips bleed. He relies on Pickles to tear him away from his guitar, even for just a few minutes to take care of his hands or clear his head. Skwisgaar will complain and whine, but he really does appreciate it in the long term.

Similarly, Pickles parties way too hard way too regularly. I mean, Dethklok are all kinda like that, but Pickles is on another level. Skwisgaar is often the one to sober Pickles up or take care of his brutal hangovers. He’ll lightly complain but they both ultimately know how sweet he’s being.

Pickles has to regularly fight off Skwisgaar from cleaning his hair. He likes his disgusting, filthy, stinky dreads!

I imagine them both be kind of crybabies, so they often sit in a dark room together, share a blunt, listen to some music, and just…cry. They’ve agreed to not speak of it to anyone.

Skwisgaar will very occasionally let Pickles do his makeup. In exchange, Pickles has to let Skwisgaar pick out a nice outfit for him. They act like they hate it but it’s one of their favorite bonding activities.

I don’t have much else. I’ve waited a couple days to let inspiration flow but my brain is giving me almost nothing. I might update this later if I come up with more. Thanks for the ask!

[worldsworstmusicnerd]

2023 Album A Day: Day 3/365

Grace • Jeff Buckley

Favorite Track: Eternal Life

Thoughts: This was gorgeous from start to finish, not a skip on the entire album. To say that Jeff Buckley is a talent that we lost far too soon is an understatement. There was an intimacy to his voice that I appreciated from the very beginning of Mojo Pin that burned like a gentle candle flame at times, and a roaring fire at others. I also loved the guitar work, whether it be layered acoustic guitars shimmering over each other ambiently, or powerful rock-n-roll guitars driving Buckley’s more intense songs. Hearing Buckley go from a beautifully haunting cover of Hallelujah to a vulnerable and complex love song dripping with sex appeal to a renaissance-esque guitar only cover of a Benjamin Britten Carol setting to a high-octane anti-xenophobic Led Zeppelin homage back to back was a delight to experience for the first time, and nothing ever felt out of place. While I would have taken dozens of albums from Jeff Buckley if this is what he was capable of, I am so thankful that this was the one album he was able to give us in his life.

[bewitchingbaker]

1. a song I associate with my muse’s personality 3. a boss battle song for fighting my muse 10. a song my muse would do a striptease to. 20. a random song from my muse’s playlist

Don't Cry by JDilla

While this is an instrumental track, the repeated lyric of 'I can't stand to see you cry.' sums up Chris's weird thing of worrying about others but not wanting others to do the same. Why? Cause he's awlays been sort of looked at as a burden cause he was a sensitive child (Cried alot, panic attacks, etc.) by the other Lunas.

Despite this, Chris sort of developed this 'I might not be as strong as my sister/dad etc. But I'm still gonna keep going and fight for others. No need to worry about me' attitude. Sort of following his mom and dad's kind attitudes.

Polica by Jean Dawson

So this one is a bit of a wild card, but the driving guitar and anti-authority lyrics in Spanish fit Chris perfectly in a boss fight. Combined with his familiars Dee and Quas and misfortune magic, you'd deal with a very confusing and tough fight with Chris.

The Way by Kehlani ft Chance the Rapper

This was a tough one to figure out! But this track was the first to come to mind, largely because of Chance's verse and dance moves in the music video. Chris is always a little shy when it comes to sex, often worried if he actually has sex appeal.

When he's not overthinking things, Chris can be quite smooth. Confident and slightly forward with his dance moves, cute little sweet whispers in his partner's ears.

The Worst Pies in London (Anglea Lansbury rendition)

It's absolutely no secret that Chris loves theatre. Some of his favorites are Fences, The Colored Museum, and Sweeney Todd. Him and his sister love watching the stage version since that was the first one they saw as kids.

Every blue moon you can find the young Luna singing and acting as Mrs.Lovett. He doesn't think Luna's makes the worst pies but it's fun sometimes to act like the deranged baker who struggled with her business.

[ @brooklynislandgirl ]

[lazyangeltreemoney]

Sunday is a Family Day

Oneshot Bodyguard AU

Description: You’re stubborn, annoying and hot as hell which seems to be an awful combo to mix with Bucky Barnes. However one day he realises he got you all wrong and now there’s a little kid in the mix that needs both of your help. 

Pairing: Bodyguard!Bucky x Rockstar!Reader

Word count: 7648

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, violence, blood, implied sex (no smut), enemies to lovers, child neglect, swearing, smoking, addiction.

A/N: really tried to keep this gender neutral, all the pronouns for the reader are they/them which is kind of important to me considering I recently came out as nonbinary. This one is pretty angsty. Sorry for the shitty description, hope you enjoy. P.S may do some more parts to this one. Also the gif is not mine.

Staring at your mother’s grave funnily enough wasn’t a pleasant experience. Funnily enough her death didn’t bring you anymore pain, but it did make the old pains ache a little more. Why did I think this would be a good idea? Stupid Barnes getting in my head.

“Why do you alway take Sundays off?” You asked him as he started getting dressed

It was almost cliche, sleeping with your bodyguard who could hardly stand you but it was easy. Certainly easier than committing to something real and besides it probably helped Barnes' job that he knew you on an intimate level. At least then even if you did piss him off he would have some reason to actually care about your safety, it would be a pain in the ass for him to find someone who fucked him as well as you did.

Either way, usually after fucking you and Barnes didn’t really talk. You figured it was probably because part of him didn’t want to acknowledge what had just happened, with him usually being so professional, but you were curious. The only day off he ever had was Sundays, on those days Steve would keep an eye on you instead.

“Sundays… are a family day, I spend every Sunday at my parents house for dinner.” He explained carefully, as if he’d revealed he’s deepest secret.

“Wow, who knew that deep down you were so rock and roll.” You snorted, he always was so serious.

Barnes clearly didn’t like your response.

“Family is all I have, but I get how you wouldn’t understand that.” He responded coldly and went back to finishing getting dressed in silence before leaving.

You rolled your eyes at him. Of course you didn’t see the appeal in ‘family dinners’ the only family dinners you could remember you’d much rather forget. Barnes had labelled you from the get go as a ‘spoiled brat and loose cannon that just so happened to be a mediocre musician’. He’d never heard you mention any family, he just assumed you’d either cut them off or they’d cut you off.

You tried to think no more of Barnes' comments but come Sunday your mind just kept wondering. You glanced at the clock while you practised on the guitar, it read 12:01pm. About lunch time, are they just sitting down? Is Barnes carving the turkey? Are there little kids screaming and refusing to eat their vegetables? Is he laughing? Does he feel loved? Your head went on and on asking all those questions but then it got worse.

You began picturing Barnes taking you to one of those family dinners he talked about. How he’d drive you out into the suburbs, his hand on your thigh the whole ride to help your nerves. How he’d introduce you to his mother and how you’d help her cook. Maybe sneak a whiskey with his Dad and bond over telling stupid stories about Bucky Barnes. Of course Bucky would never do that, you were a convenient fuck and nothing more. But either way, your head was beginning to see ‘family’. Maybe Sundays should be a family day.

So here you were now, stood in front of pretty much the only family you had left. You kept rereading the words marked on her grave.

Catherine L/N, Beloved Friend and Loving Mother, you will be missed.

 And your heart ached at the fact that nearly every word on it was a lie. Not even the cold autumn air brought you comfort as your arm began to heat up, a dull ache from the memory of the type of woman she really was.

You could see that the grave was crumbling slightly, it had been almost six years since she passed. Moss and weeds were beginning to take over the patch of land. She didn’t deserve any kindness from you, not even now. She was the reason you kept people at arm's length, the reason why ‘love’ would always be such an alien concept to you. However you couldn’t stop your hands from beginning to pull away at the weeds or try to scrape off the moss. She always wanted to look pretty. It was her no. 1 priority, you were certain you were no.50 or so.

Maybe it was the fact that you had spent most of the afternoon daydreaming about Barnes' probably perfect family, but this certain visit to the grave made you feel shitter than you had done in a long while. So much that you wanted to try and find the nearest bar as you headed out of the graveyard. Screw all the promises you’d made to yourself, to Tony, to even Barnes on occasion, sometimes the genes just run too hard to deny.

However the second you pushed open the door to the bar you were reminded of the last person you’d ever made a promise to. You remembered their adorable little face and button nose. Could I really do this to her as well?

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Monday came around, you’d successfully convinced yourself not to go on a bender but the headache in your head felt like you’d gone on one anyway. Barnes was waiting for you outside by your car. You knew the second he saw you he would be cold and grumpy while listing off your schedule for that day. However there was something more important than any meeting or recording sessions that needed to be done today.

You meet Barnes outside and as you’d predicted he instantly started listing off the hundreds of things you were supposed to get done today. He was talking to you in his ‘no arguments voice’, mainly because over the years he’d seen how much of a pain in the ass you could be first hand. Always wanting to negotiate your way out of some meeting or wanting or missing an annoying interview.

“And then you’re going to Radio 1 headquarters to give an interview,” Bucky continued on.

“Barnes, there’s something else I need to do today-” You tried to begin, He ignored you and continued listing, “At the interview Stark told me that you need to mention the upcoming tour-”

“Barnes I’m serious, I’m not just slacking off for once-”

“Yeah right,” He scoffed.

“Bucky please… this is a family thing.” You finally admitted hanging your head.

You never called him Bucky, he insisted it was a name only his friends or family got to call him, which you were neither. Bucky watched you carefully, he hadn’t even started arguing with you but you already looked almost defeated. He could even see under the makeup that you looked tired, they’d been up all last night. But it was more than just defeat in their eyes, they looked scared, almost remorseful. This wasn’t the Y/N he knew, his Y/N would be energetic, demanding and never vulnerable.

Bucky sighed before reaching towards the sat nav.

“Where to?”

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About an hour's drive later they’d reached a house just on the edge of the suburbs. At a first glance it seemed nice enough, white fence, brick house, hedges in the garden; but Bucky was trained to look past a first glance. The grass and hedges were clearly over growing along with ivy around the house. The windows hadn’t been cleaned in a while along with the gutter being clogged up.

The car on the drive was flashy but it was messy. There was a cigarette tray on the dashboard and fast food containers littered inside. The most damning sign to Bucky was that all the curtains and blinds in the house had been drawn closed even though it was mid morning. However he found himself glancing over to Y/N, trying to gauge their reaction.

Y/N felt sick to their stomach. This wasn’t how this place was supposed to look, there was meant to be swings or slides in the garden. At least a carseat in the car or flowers in the garden.

  Surely this isn’t where they put Claire? You’d spent all of last night trying to research where social services had placed your half sister. You’d told yourself you were doing the right thing when a detective appeared at your doorstep holding her. She’d already had one L/N fucking up her childhood when she was barely four, she didn’t need another, you told yourself. But it was beginning to look like you’d done that anyway.

You took a shaky breath and headed towards the front door. You gave it a good hard knock only for the door to fall open. It made an eerie creaking noise as it swung open.

Before Bucky could object, Y/N marched in only to reveal more of her worst fears. There were empty liquor bottles that littered the floor. The house stunk of smoke and other unpleasant aromas.

Y/N continued through the house and found the garden. It was as unkempt as the rest of the house but Y/N did find one perfect thing in it… Claire. She was a lot older than when you’d last seen her, probably around 10 now, but you’d know that face anywhere. To your surprise she recognised you. She’d looked up from playing with her dolls and saw you standing on the edge of the garden. Her little legs seemed to not be able to get up fast enough as she practically launched herself at you.

“Y/N!” She called happily and wrapped her arms around your legs.

Bucky watched the scene and was beyond confused. Who the hell was this kid? Was she Y/N’s? How could a kid be left alone in a place like this?

“I knew you’d come soon,” Claire announced happily as she hugged your legs tighter.

You looked down at Claire and wanted to earth to swallow you whole, you wanted Satan himself to stab you in the heart and torture you forever. It was all the conformation you needed, I’m truly the worst person alive. However you could berate yourself later, right now you had to be strong for Claire. You kneeled down to her level.

“Claire, are your parents home?” You asked.

Claire shook her head.

Great, just great, those monsters left her alone.

“Okay, well then you’re coming with us, okay, it’ll be like a holiday.” You tried to explain to her.

Bucky’s eyes went wide. You couldn’t surely be suggesting kidnapping? This was insane and illegal. However it was clear you deeply cared for this little girl, it did make sense that you would want to take her away from this place. As he tried to think of some way to do this without being arrested, he saw something that broke his heart.

Y/N rolled up the sleeves on Claires shirt, he could recognise those marks from anywhere, cigarette burns on her arm, along with ugly yellow bruises. He could see the look in Y/N’s eyes, it was like nothing he’d ever seen before. It was a pure rage that she was clearly trying to hide only for Claire’s sake.

You grabbed Claire's hand and started to lead her out of the house when the front door opened. It revealed who you recognised to be Claires “parents”. From the pictures they looked like a perfectly average couple, but they looked nothing like they did in the photos now. Both you and Bucky could smell the booze off them from the second they opened the door. Of course they took notice of you holding Claire's hand and Bucky standing next to you.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?” The ‘’Dad’ yelled.

“I’m here making sure Claire never see’s either of you despicable people again.” You spat at both of them.

“YOU’RE NOT TAKING HER ANYWHERE.” The ‘mother’ screamed pathetically.

“Oh yes I am, because I can clearly see where all the money I sent you to spend on her is really going, so unless you have some pretty good lawyers I’d shut up and let us leave.” You threatened, you had more than enough evidence to get their custody taken away.

However, that seemed to be the final straw. Before you could do anything the father lunged towards you with his fist. Lucky for you, Barnes was a damn good bodyguard and had been itching for a reason to punch this guy.

He quickly stood in front of you and blocked the ‘dad’s’ fist, before throwing a solid punch of his own. One that landed the ‘dad’ straight onto his backside.

“I’ve got half a mind to break that hand of yours clean off so that you’ll never be able to raise it to someone ever again… the only reason I’m not is that I’m certain that KID has been exposed to enough violence.” Bucky threatens darkly.

After that the ‘mother’ quickly became a quivering wreck. Bucky nodded contently that she wouldn’t try anything and grabbed your hand to lead you and Claire back to the car. It was weird, Bucky had grabbed your hand numerous times, leading you away from the press, to an event and had saved you from danger more times than you could count, but this felt different.

You’d placed Claire in the back seat of the car while you sat in the front with Bucky. As he drove, he glanced into the rearview window, Claire was fast asleep. Now seemed like a good enough time to finally ask some questions about what the hell just happened.

You were a wreck as Bucky drove back into New York. Everything you tried to do to keep her safe, to try and keep her away from you because you were so certain that you would fuck her up in some way just like your mother had done to you. All of it was for nothing, whether you were there or not, you still managed to screw up her life.

Bucky pulled you out of your thoughts however.

“Mind telling what happened back there, mainly so I have something to tell Stark so I can hopefully keep my job?” Bucky asked.

“Claire is my half sister,” You began with a sigh, “six years ago my mother died and seeing as I was the only family the police could track down, Claire was placed into my care… However I was a wreck, I still am. I told myself the best thing for Claire was if she could forget about the family she came from… so I got Tony to take over, to find her a good home. I would send letters and money… but then you got in my head and for once I’m glad you did.”

Bucky was suddenly reminded of the conversation he’d had with Y/N after they’d… well you know.

“And don’t worry about Tony firing you, the second I see him I think I’m going to kill him.” Y/N stated flatly.

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Bucky saw first hand that you meant it. When you arrived back at your apartment they all saw Tony pacing in your living room looking pissed off, but it was nothing compared to the sheer rage you had inside you.

Tony stopped pacing and looked up at the three of you when he heard the front door open. Instantly he went charging towards Y/N and Bucky was worried he’d have to punch someone to save Y/N for the second time today.  

“Where the hell have you been huh? Do you know how many phone calls I’ve had to make to save your career in one afternoon-” He stopped suddenly when he saw the young girl hiding behind your legs, “is that Claire?” he asked in a much calmer and almost scared tone.

“Yes. It. Is.” Y/N gritted between their teeth, “Barnes, can you take Claire into my bedroom, please.”

Bucky nodded and wordlessly picked up Claire.

The second the door closed behind him he heard a loud whack and knew that he should probably put on some cartoons at full volume.

You’d kept your anger buried down for long enough and it now erupted like pompei. You slapped Tony, hard, harder than you think you’d ever hit another person in your life.

“OW!” Tony yelped as he fell backwards.

“You promised me,” You began quietly and darkly, “you promised me that she would never have to go through any of the shit that I went through and what did I find… CIGARETTE BURNS ON HER FUCKING ARM STARK!”

“Look, it’s not like I vetted the parents myself- social services-” Tony fumbled over his words trying to defend himself.

“I don’t care, I trusted you with the only family I have left… and you’d think that after everything you witnessed with me that social services don’t know shit okay.” You continued to scold.

Tony slowly got on to his feet. It was clear that no matter what he said, you weren’t going to forgive him. So he decided to move onto damage control.

“I’ll contact some lawyers, get you full custody of Claire and I’ll take care of the damage done today.” Tony explained.

“Good,” You huffed, “And then you can tell Pepper that she’s got your job.”

“You don’t mean that.” Tony scoffed but from the look on your face you most certainly did.

Without saying another word you headed towards your bedroom before you felt the urge to slap Tony again. You entered your room to see Bucky had thankfully grabbed some headphones and put them over Claire's ears while she watched some cartoon on your ipad. Bucky had Claire in his lap and his arms wrapped around her. He had his own headphones plugged in and was watching the show as well, almost as animatedly as Claire was.

You watched the scene before you and felt as if you’d had the wind taken out of you. The words Tony said were suddenly taking effect, ‘you’ll have full custody of Claire,’ but you didn’t know anything about kids. Bucky was sitting with her right now and seemed to be hanging out with her so effortlessly, you on the other hand didn’t have a clue how to be around her.

Bucky looked up and noticed you stood by the door. He gestured for you to come over and sit with them. You crawled onto the bed and placed your arms around Claire and snuggled up next to the other side of Bucky. This was a first for you and Bucky, sure you had been intimate before but once the sex he practically jumped off of you, as if he couldn’t get away quick enough. However it somehow felt natural and comfy, like the most comfortable pillow in the universe. Even more to your surprise, he wrapped his free arm around you.

Claire seemed more than happy to have you watching the cartoon with her. She animatedly started listing her favourite characters and all of their powers. You smiled and nodded, wondering how despite everything she went through she was still a happy smiling kid… and not a wreck like you. She quickly became engrossed in another episode which is when Bucky took the opportunity to whisper to you.

“I think we better take her to the hospital, get her arm checked out and the rest of her.” He whispered softly.

You nodded, not having any more strength that day to say anything else. It was probably one of the few times you were happy for him to take charge.

“And we also should talk later… about, well about everything.”

You didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to work out how that conversation would probably go. You figured it would be something like “yeah it’s fun when we fuck but with the kid involed it’s too much and you’re clearly now too much of a mess for me, something about professionalism etc.”

However you weren’t scared about Bucky breaking things off, you had bigger fears inside your head.

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The doctor visit went as expected. The second they saw Claire they wanted to have words with you and Bucky separately and away from Claire. You hated being apart from her but knew that it had to be done. Once you explained the full story to them they were quick to let you back with Claire. They wrapped up her arm, thankfully it didn’t look infected but they still disinfected all of her wounds to be safe.

She sat on Bucky’s lap while you held her hand to comfort her through the stings. She kept squirming and the doctor was clearly getting frustrated that Claire wouldn’t sit still. You’d think that someone who worked with kids would have a bit more patience but clearly not.

“Claire sweetie how about this, if you’re a big brave girl and sit still for the doctor then we can get ice cream on the way home.” You offered.

The words ice cream clearly had an effect on her. Claire took a deep breath and nodded enthusiastically as she stuck out her arm again. The doctor mumbled a quick thankyou and was finally able to disinfect the final wound.

You smiled at Claire and praised her for being ‘the bravest girl in the whole world’. Bucky even ruffled her hair affectionately, which is when you caught him looking at you. He looked at you in a way he’d never looked at you before. Usually he had two expression’s when it came to you, pissed off or lustful, this however was new. It was soft, he was even smiling. No matter what you told yourself, you found yourself smiling back.

You finished up at the hospital. They gave you some stuff so that you could re-wrap Claires arm at home. Barnes drove the three of you to what was, quote, ‘the best ice cream place in the city’. You soon arrived at a diner and found yourself a booth. As you did you heard a few people whispering amongst themselves.

‘Is that really Y/N L/N,’ ‘Don’t be stupid, probably just a look alike,’

‘It looks just like them though’.

You decided to try and pay them no mind, right now you were out with your family. Wait, shit… did I just include Barnes in my ‘family?’. You tried to push that thought to the back of your brain, right now your focus was on spoiling Claire.

A waitress came over and asked you all what you wanted.

“What’s the best ice cream that you guys make?” You asked, nudging Claire slightly.

The waitress could tell that you were obviously trying to hype things up for Claire and joined in.

“Well I think the only ice cream worthy of this little one would have to be our triple banana sundae split,” She winked.

“Well how does that sound Claire?” Bucky asked.

“That one, that one pleaseeeee?” Claire chanted.

The waitress chuckled at Claire's excitement and wrote down the order. She took your and Bucky’s order as well before heading off. Claire was clearly already buzzing with excitement about the ice cream. You figured that back in that house she probably wasn’t spoiled often, if ever, that was going to have to change. Which also reminded you of the hundred of things you’d have to get ready for Claire. Such as her own room, her toys, school stuff, childcare, the list was endless, but you supposed that you had to start somewhere.

“So Claire, what would you like your new room to look like?” You asked.

As nearly all ten year olds do when they’re bubbling with excitement, she practically vomited the words at you. She was a ball of pure energy, animatedly talking and drawing on the back of the menu about her dream bedroom. You planned on following her instructions to a T. However as you tried to listen intently, you noticed Bucky get up and head towards your waitress.  

She was clearly giggling at something he’d just said and he handed her a piece of paper. Was he really giving her his number right in front of you? Your head wanted to be rational, Barnes was technically single, he could do what he wanted. But your heart was never good at being rational, it was impulsive and petty and right now as the waitress was laughing with Bucky, it hurt. It hurt in a way that no rationalisations would explain.

Barnes soon came back and sat with you again. You couldn’t help the sour face you had put on, thankfully Claire was too engrossed in drawing her room to notice it.

“What was that about?” you whispered to Bucky.

He glanced at Claire, almost double checking that she was too busy drawing to pay any attention to what she was saying.

“I was just telling the waitress to see if she can have any low sugar ice cream and to put extra fruit in it, I come here a lot with my nieces and nephews, she was laughing because she noticed how I pull the same trick on them.” He explained quietly so Claire wouldn't hear.

“Oh” you muttered, it was all you could say as you dropped the sour face.

“Wait… were you jealous?” Bucky asked with a teasing smile.

“No, of course not,” You defended yourself a little too quickly. But Bucky’s teasing smile didn’t go anywhere. This was very weird to you, usually you were the one doing the teasing and pushing his buttons, not him pushing yours. You rolled your eyes at him and decided to end this conversation.

“So Claire, how’s the bedroom coming along?”

Claire started happily explaining the room to you and Bucky and you both listened happily until she said something that made you nearly choke on the ice cream.

“And I want it next to your guys room,”

“WHAT?!” You immediately coughed, and probably a little too loudly.

“The room I was in earlier, it was yours and Bucky’s right? He’s your boyfriend” Claire asked far too innocently for you to try and find a response. “He knew where everything was and there were some of his clothes on the floor.” She continued on.

Before you wanted the earth to swallow you up out of self hatred, now you wanted it to swallow you up out of embarrassment. What the hell were you meant to say? You didn’t exactly fancy explaining the term ‘fuckbuddy’ to a ten year old. Bucky, however, saved your ass, like he always does.

“Of course it can be near our room, kid, I don’t wanna miss out on any tea parties.” Bucky replied happily, but not without shooting you another one of his teasing smiles. You were quickly realising why he was nearly always pissed off at you now that the show was on the other foot.

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Soon enough the day was drawing to a close and it was Claire’s bedtime. You put her down in the room opposite you. You’d gotten her some toys and books during the day to try and make the room more kid friendly. She was settling down in her pj’s and cuddling a teddy that she’d affectionately named ‘Bucky’, much to your amusement.

“Alright, I think it’s time for bed,” You suggested but she instantly started shaking her head. “Claire, I’ve read you three stories, you’ve had cookies and milk, it’s time for bed.” You tried to insist but that didn’t work either. “Alright, how about this? You can pick one more story for us to read but then you have to go to bed?”

That seemed to spark something inside her. She looked around the room and pointed to a ukulele that was hanging on the wall.

“Could you sing me to sleep? I used to fall asleep listening to you on the radio, usually because my parents were yelling too loud… it was like you were in the room with me.” She asked softly.

How could you ever say no to that?

“I’ll sing you to sleep every night if you want.” You replied with a sad smile and got up to pick up the ukulele.

Bucky was in the kitchen, putting away the cookies and milk you guys had before when he heard the strings of your ukulele being plucked.

“I’m lying on the moon, my dear I’ll be there soon,” your melodic voice began to sing.

It echoed throughout the apartment and Bucky couldn’t help but follow it. He found himself standing just outside of Claire’s bedroom. You were sitting on the end of the bed and singing Claire to sleep. Your voice being the sweetest lullaby he’d ever heard in his life. As you strummed the last chord Claire was softly snoring.

You looked up to see Bucky standing by the door, his mouth was hanging slightly agape. You silently got up and headed towards him, closing the door behind you.

“Who’s mediocre now?” You asked sarcastically and sauntered towards the kitchen.

Bucky watched you go and was reminded of the first time he ever met you. And he suddenly realised how wrong he’d gotten you.

He’d been dragged to your apartment by Steve. To be completely blunt, he was pissed. He’d told Steve that he was done babysitting rich, spoiled brats and yet here he was. After studying your case file, he already figured out that we're probably going to be the worst of them all. Despite all of his complaining, Steve dropped him off in front of your apartment and drove off before he could run away.

He walked into the lobby and met the one and only Tony Stark, Y/N’s manager. “James Barnes, I believe, nice to meet you.” Tony held out his hand and Bucky shook it firmly. “Hey, where's the cheese burgers I asked you to bring?”

It was 10 o’clock in the morning.

“I couldn’t find a place that was open, also I’m a bodyguard, not a butler.” Bucky replied.

“Well you better be, because I’m hiding behind you if we’re going up there empty handed.” Tony laughed and led the way to the elevator.

They quickly entered your apartment and Bucky was already assessing all of the security risks while Tony tried to explain how it would be best to handle you. Apparently food would be crucial and you didn’t handle authority well. Bucky was certain that he would change that.

However as they walked around your apartment, you were nowhere to be seen. There was absolutely no trace of you… except for the trail of clothes leaning to the bathroom… and a distinct singing voice coming out of it.

“You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you.” You sang.

Bucky found himself almost entranced by your voice. It captured him, almost worse it was distracting him. Tony however just rolled his eyes and banged on the door.

“Y/N come out, you knew this was the time you were meeting the new head of security!”

Your response to this was just to sing louder.

“I need you baby, and if it’s quite alright, I need you baby-!”

Tony continued to bang on the door until you finally opened the door, once the song ended of course. Thick steam rolled out of the room, it was clear the shower had been steaming hot and on for a while. You had one towel wrapped around your head and one that was wrapped around your body.

“Enjoy the show boys?” You asked with a teasing grin.

Tony sighed, “James this is Y/N, Y/N, James.”

You walked over to him and held out your hand. Bucky shook it cautiously.

“Well, I’m waiting,”

Bucky looked at you confused. “Did you enjoy the show?” You repeat yourself.

Bucky wanted to be honest, tell you it was the most magnificent thing he’d ever heard. But then he remembered everything he’d read in your files and how any compliment would go to your already enormous ego. So he put on his best poker face.

“It was mediocre.”

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Putting all the pieces together, he realised he had been such an ass. You weren’t some spoiled rich kid, in fact you were almost the complete opposite. Life had dealt you one of the shittiest hands possible and despite all that you did everything to make a life for yourself. He had heard some of the things you’d yelled at Tony.

‘You promised me that she would never have to go through any of the shit that I went through,’

Bucky had seen a few scars on you from when you and him had been together. He never brought them up but he had a pretty good idea how you got them. Jesus christ, no wonder she ever brought up her family.

He headed towards the kitchen. You were finishing up the work he’d left when he got distracted by your singing.

“Here, let me help you, I should’ve finished it anyway.” Bucky spoke and tried to jump in.

“No I should do it, besides I thought you’d be glad that I’m finally doing something myself.” Y/N remarked.

Bucky sighed and scratched the back of his back.

“I owe you an apology, I shouldn’t have assumed that you were- well,” He stumbled over his words, not wanting to repeat all the insults he’d thrown at them before.

“Spoiled, lazy, never worked a day in their life, good for nothing-” Y/N began to list off casually as she wiped the plate clean.

“No- never good for nothing.” Bucky interrupted, feeling strongly.

“Right, good for a quick fuck,” Y/N responsed, again in a calm and casual tone.

Bucky hated it, hated how he knew that they weren’t even mad. To them, they were just stating the facts. Bucky wished with everything in him that they would realise how wrong they were.

“Y/N, you’re so much more than that… but right now you need to have confidence in yourself for Claire,” He began.

He walked over to you and lifted your chin up delicately to look at him.

“You told me that you thought that the best thing for Claire would be for her to forget about you but look at you with her today, you’re a natural.” Bucky tried to encourage but it just caused you to look away from him.

“For one day, Bucky, and even then I had you helping me all throughout it... I don’t know the first thing about family, or how to raise a kid… you know last Sunday I nearly broke my sobriety,” Y/N admitted, the shame beginning to consume them.

Bucky looked back at Y/N in shock, he didn’t even know that Y/N was an addict. Sure they never drank but he figured that was so they could keep a clear head while performing.

“It’s in my genes, I grew up around it thinking it was normal, it wasn’t until Tony pulled me out of there did I straighten my shit out… don’t you get it, I’m impulsive, I fuck you because it’s just another way to drown my sorrows… I fuck you because hate is the closest thing I’ve ever known to love-” The words you were saying were now just vomiting out of you, so fast that you couldn’t even stop them.

“That’s not true,” Bucky argued quietly, “I don’t hate you.”

“Even if that’s true… everything else I’ve told you makes it clear that I’m going to ruin Claire, just like my mother ruined me.” You sighed.

Bucky looked at you sadly, there was clearly so much that you were battling, that you had been battling for years that he completely didn’t notice.

“You’re mother was alone and in a bad place, a bad state of mind, you’re not.” He tried to assure you.

“How so?”

“You’re not alone, you’ve got me for starters.”

“Right, so what, we suddenly go from hate fucking to trying to be a little family.”

Bucky brought your face up to look at him again.

“Wouldn't be the worst place in the world to start” He offered and tried to take your hand.

This was possibly the third time Bucky had been weird with you today. This time he looked at you like for the first time in his life he was being vulnerable.

“Or how about a fresh start? We start over, I’ll be there for you and Claire no matter what, even if things go south between us, even if you hate my guts, I’ll be there.”

You pondered his offer. It reminded you of the first time you met him, of the song you sang.

You’re just too good to be true.

What Bucky spoke of was something so unknown to you. Unconditional love, one where even if you trip and fall or hit rock bottom there’s people to help you back to the top. Something like that surely had to be nothing but fairytales. How in one day could Bucky pull a 180 on you? How could he go from hating your guts to wanting to be involved in all of your mess?

It made no sense, except maybe he didn’t hate you?

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You were desperate to escape this after party for your show. You’d been drinking just plain coke and telling people it was vodka and coke but everyone around you was getting drunk and trying to get you to join in. It was reminding you too much of your childhood, it was too tempting, it felt like somewhere between a nightmare and a dream.

To your surprise Bucky seemed to pick up on how uncomfortable you were. Almost wordlessly he grabbed your hand and led you towards the balcony. With the doors shut behind you the party suddenly felt a world away. The fresh air had never felt so good in your lungs… well that was until the all too familiar smell of smoke ruined it.

You looked behind you to see Bucky was smoking a cigarette. The warm orange embers that glowed everytime he took a puff might as well have been the fires from hell itself. There were too many memories, too many scars left on you due to those filthy things. To your surprise again, Bucky noticed how you still looked uncomfortable and stubbed out the cigarette.

This was weird. He’d been your primary bodyguard for nearly a year now and usually the two of you seemed to do everything you could to piss each other off. You pushed his buttons and in return he pushed yours. So for him to do something to make you comfortable was very odd.

“Sorry, let me guess, you can’t be around cigarettes in case it ruins your precious voice?” He huffed

That was certainly an easier explanation, so you just nodded. “You know I’m confused, I figured you’d be the biggest party animal out there, biggest rockstar of the century or whatever they claim you are nowadays.” Bucky continued.

“Think whatever you want about me Barnes, but for a bodyguard you’re pretty un-fucking-observant.” You huffed back at him.

You wrapped your arms around yourself after that, rubbing them up and down. Barnes might’ve not noticed that you didn’t like parties before but he could notice that they were cold right. He took off his blazer and wrapped it around your shoulders and pulled you slightly closer to him. He always ran warm, figured that would warm you up in no time. However, what he didn’t expect was to like the way you looked in his clothes, or how he liked how you smelt; or the way you seemed to fit in his arms.

“Still pretty un-fucking-observant?” Bucky asked, echoing your words.

“Thankyou.” You muttered, feeling slightly uneasy from how close you were to him.

“No problem, I wouldn't want you to get frostbite, that would probably be a pretty quick way to get fired.” Bucky jokes, it might’ve been the first time he tried joking with you.

You chuckled slightly at him and enjoyed his warmth. How the hell was he so warm? It was December and snowing and yet he was lighting a portable fire.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first time you fucked was three months after. You were walking home, with Bucky trailing behind you while you were holding hands with some stupid movie star. He was a jerk, you’d decided that pretty early on, even more of a jerk than Bucky could ever be but you were working on the soundtrack for his movie. Tony along with Jerk’s manager thought it could be a good press opportunity.

So you walked towards your apartment holding hands purposely for the paparazzi. The only thing Bucky was enjoying out of this was the fact that he knew you were putting on your phony smile.

The second you got into your house you dropped the jerks hand and instantly felt like you needed to wash it in hydrochloric acid. Bucky began to check that the security system was keeping the paparazzi out when he heard ‘jerk’ talking to you.

“I think we fooled them pretty good, don’t you,” God, even his voice gave him away a sleaze-bag.

“Yeah, especially the fact that you kept grabbing my ass and I didn’t break your hand off!” You yelled at him. “Oh please, I think you enjoyed it.” He smirked and you wanted to be sick.

“The plan was to get some rumours flying around you that you’re dumb movie got some buzz, not to make them think I’m some fucking whore!”

“Well if the shoe fits, and besides we’ve got some time to kill before my limo gets here,”

That was it. Your fist went flying for him, unlucky for you, this jerk saw it coming and caught it.

“Good, I like it when they're feisty, see we’re a perfect match.” He went to shove you up against the wall.

It all happened so fast. One minute he was shoving you against the wall and you were squirming out of the grip. This next he was on the floor and Barnes was on top of him, both of his fists colliding onto Jerks face, until he nose was bloody.

“You ever fucking touch them again and you’re dead, you hear me?” Bucky threatened.

“You can’t do that to me.” the jerk groaned.

“I just did, and if you don't leave right now, you won’t be leaving in a limo, you’ll be leaving in a body bag.” Bucky spoke darkly as he got up.

Unsurprisingly, The jerk got up as fast as he could and ran out of the apartment. Once he was gone, Bucky looked up towards you. You were shaking slightly, your eyes were wide and your fists seemed to be so tight that your nails were digging into your skin. Bucky quickly walked over to you and gently tried to take hold of your hands.

“Y/N, it’s okay, you can relax, he’s gone, he can’t hurt you anymore… I’m sorry if I scared you.” Bucky spoke softly.

You slowly let your hands relax and Bucky quickly interlocked them with him. They seemed to fit perfectly, almost too perfectly.

“I will say you sure know how to pick em’” Bucky chuckled lightly.

“I didn’t pick him, I’d pick anyone in the entire universe over him, hell I’d even pick you over him.” You argued.

“I’m honoured.” Bucky replied dryly.

You laughed at his remark. Bucky felt a small amount of pride inside him that even in this scenario he could still make you laugh. It was possibly the first time he saw you laugh up close and he decided it was possibly his second favourite sound, second to you singing.

“Urm Barnes… you’re still holding my hands.” You pointed out.

“I know,” was all Bucky could think to say, “I know and I like them there… unless you want them somewhere else?”

“What happened to your professionalism?” You shot back with a teasing smirk.

“I just beat up a guy for you and sent him out of your house bleeding… if I last a week I’ll be lucky.” Barnes did have a point.

So you were brave for once. You leaned forward and kissed him and he kissed you back. He moved your hands so that they were now above you and he kept them there with one hand and while the other began to feel up your chest.

You ended up in your bedroom, naked, breathless and lying on top of him. This could’ve been where  everything  worked out, where you got your happily ever after… but you always were your worst sabator.

“This should’ve never happened.” You spoke quickly as you pushed yourself off of him.

“What?” Bucky asked, confused as ever.

“You heard me, let’s just forget this ever happened.”

But it did keep happening, however the next time he fucked you he was angry. He was hurt and wanted to take it out on you, so you let him. It probably explained why afterwards he tried to make it so that he was always the first to leave, so that you wouldn’t be able to hurt him again. You and him went back to pushing each other’s buttons and pissing each other off but at least now when it became too much you could fuck the anger out of each other.

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He never hated you, you just broke his heart. You broke his heart once already because you were too scared of him doing the same to you. And right now you were scared that he could do the same thing again.

“Okay.” You replied softly, almost so softly that there was almost no noise along with the word.

“Okay?” Bucky echoed, desperate to hear you right. “Okay.” You spoke again, nodding this time.

Bucky smiled, one of the most genuine smiles he’d had in a long time. This could work, his little family. Unconventional, broken but perfect little family.

[nong-nao]

A Compilation of PatPran Moments (Ep. 6)

- Pat wanting to give Pran a ride to school and Pran refusing because his dad is driving him.

- Pat texting Pran to see if he's cute, Pran replying yuck only to be met with a public display of Pat simping for Pran's dimples. I love the professor for also acknowledging the beauty of Pran's dimples.

- Pran messaging Pat to come over and Pat rushing over only to have to fix Pran's printer.

- Pran cooking Pat curry and rice because he's always wanted to feed someone he likes, but Pat using all of will to refuse and say he already ate and instead feed Pran his food. Followed by him running to his bed and being frustrated that he beats up Nong Nao.

- Pat teasing a passing Pran by pouring water over his shirtless self.

- Pat rubbing a lotion/remedy on Pran.

- Pat and Pran holding hands at the bus stop while with their friends.

- Sending each other food when they're in huge groups of people.

- Flirting and teasing each other in the library.

- Pat pretending to be sick, so he could get Pran to worry and take care of him. Both of them trying to use their sex appeal to get the other to cave. A very small moment where they could have, if Pa didn't walk in.

- Pran making Pat jealous by being close with Wai and succeeding.

- Pat auditioning for the play to spend more time with Pran and having an indirect confession scene. Also surprising him with his hidden talent.

- PatPran having a jealousy war at the noodle shop. Pat ultimately losing because his partner is Ink.

- Pat stopping because he knows that Pran isn't in the right mood, so he instead just tries to cheer him up. Cleaning each other's faces and being all cute until the mood was ruined by Wai's intrusion.

- Pran running back to Pat knowing that he would be hurt by what he did leaving his guitar with Wai.

- Pran was worried that Pat wouldn't want to keep doing the bet anymore after what happened, so he checks in with him and says that he'd confess first if he had to because someone would have to lose either way. Hearing this makes Pat want to confess now, knowing that Pran is ready for the next level of their relationship, so he scares Pran away from the idea of confessing.

- Pat showing up to rehearsals and saving the play, indirectly confessing to Pran.

- This scene from Pat's audition:

"Kwan, why are quiet? Answer me."

" What?"

"I'm tired. Tired of pretending I hate you while your face has taken over my heart. Aren't you tired too?"

"Ae' Riam!"

"Let's stop, I don't want to play this game anymore. I don't want to lie to people anymore. You asked if I still wanted us to be friends, right? What if my answer is no, what do you say then?

- "As for me I always want to let my lover win."

- Pran finally getting to feed Pat because they are now boyfriends.

- The kissing back and forth fight.

All I can say is I can't wait for more domestic scenes, don't want the angst so soon though.

[svnflowervol666]

Fried Rice and... Kiwi? (Harry Styles x fem!Reader)

Word Count: 2.5k

Author’s Note: Happy third birthday to HS1! Here’s something short and sweet in it’s honor. I came across this gif earlier today and all I could think about was lying on Harry’s tummy and listening to him talk about the album. Hence, this fic was born. Obviously, I had to turn it into dad!Harry, because that’s all I can manage to do ever. Like, literally ever. But, regardless! Enjoy, take care, and TPWK. gif by @stylesinthewild​!!!

Three sequential knocks on the weighted, wooden door broke up the playful banter occurring in the studio. It wasn’t a request to enter, more so a signal of arrival and a warning - she was coming in whether they liked it or not. 

“Delivery!”

Smells of grease and soy sauce filled the nostrils of everyone inside as she cautiously maneuvered her way around discarded instruments and cords and towards the coffee table with a both arms full of enough take out to feed a small army.

“God, thank you! You’re the best! Been starvin’ all day,” Jeff piped up from the armchair he’d been sitting in.

“Genuinely! You didn’t have to come all the way across town to bring us dinner,” Sarah added, hair aloof and sticking up around her head as if she’d been running her fingers through it incessantly over the past few hours.

“Well, someone,” Y/N sneered, cutting her eyes back to Jeff, “keeps stealing my man away from me and I’m tired of waiting for him at home, so I figured I’d just pay him a visit here instead.”

“A simple, ‘You’re welcome, Jeff,’ would’ve done ya just fine!” he sarcastically fired back as the rest of the room doubled over in laughter.

Harry was up and out of the cushion he’d been slumped back in to grab the paper bags that were balanced on top of his girlfriend’s arms so he could take her hands in his and guide her towards him.

“Tip your driver?” she cocked her head to the side and pursed her lips down at him when he sat back down.

“Hmmm,” Harry toyed with her comment, pretending to pat down his pockets in search for change, “‘Ve only got my undying love and affection and an endless amount of kisses. Will that do?”

“I suppose,” Y/N huffed, leaning in to press her lips chastely against his.

“Okay, let’s see if I got this right,” she directed her attention back to the group as she fished around the bags of food.

“Beef and broccoli for Mitch?” The long-haired, almost-resembling-jesus brunette smirked and nodded as he leaned over to take the white carton from her hands.

“Kung Po chicken with extra sauce for Sarah,” Y/N stated confidently. She knew that one for certain.

Sarah bowed graciously as she swiped a handful of duck sauce from the bag after taking her order from Y/N.

“Hot and Sour soup for Adam and Jeff.” 

She handed Adam the plastic tub of hot liquid as if she was presenting him a sacred piece of treasure and cast Jeff’s soup away dramatically as if to say she was still fake-mad at him for keeping Harry holed up in the studio for long hours and couldn’t care less if he spilled the damn thing in his lap or not.

“You’re too kind,” Jeff scoffed, earning a pointed middle finger in his direction from Y/N.

“And last but certainly not least,” she grabbed the two remaining cartons by the thin metal handles and presented one to Harry, “Veggies for the boy.”

“Thank you, lovie,” Harry responded earnestly as he grabbed utensils for the both of them, chopsticks for him and a fork for her (he’d tried to teach her more times than he could count to use chopsticks properly but she could never quite get the technique down successfully) and dug into the steaming heap of vegetables packed to the brim of the container.

It was peacefully quiet as everyone chowed down on the takeout Y/N had brought in, everyone coming to the realization of how hungry they’d gotten after spending the entire day writing, composing, and recording an album. Harry and Y/N sat on opposite ends of the couch, her feet resting comfortably in his lap.

“Wha’ did you get?” Harry asked through a mouthful of food.

“Rice.”

Harry frowned.

“Just rice?”

“Wasn’t that hungry,” Y/N shrugged, “Plus, I might have eaten the leftover pizza from the other day right before I came.”

“Still. ‘S not good f’ you. Need t’ be eating better than tha’,” the newly short-haired brunette (Y/N may have shed a tear when he told her he was cutting it) gathered an assortment of sauteed vegetables with his chopsticks before leaning over the couch and dangling it above her lips, waiting for her to open her mouth and accept the bite.

She managed to catch it all, sans a thin strip of onion that she quickly slurped up before it fell and wiped the remaining sauce from the corner of her mouth with her knuckle.

“You two disgust me,” Jeff called out from across the room, a scowl adorning his features.

Harry smiled that obnoxiously cheesy shit-eating grin that he had become infamous for having in his manager’s direction, being sure to push the chewed up broccoli to the front of his teeth to only add to Jeff’s so-called repulsion.

“I think you’re just jealous that the attention’s not on you,” Y/N stated matter-of-factly, “I’m carrying precious cargo. It’s part of the job description now.”

She gave a snide and over-dramatised rub over her swollen belly where hers and Harry’s unborn child was nestled conveniently on top of her organs, making it harder and harder to move around and have any kind of energy as of late.

“If I recall correctly, I’m carrying his career. ‘S pretty precious if you ask me.”

With a roll of her eyes, Y/N plopped her half-eaten side of fried rice onto the table in front of her and shifted her body so that she was lying in Harry’s lap, her head resting perfectly where his thighs met his toned, yet somehow still soft tummy. Harry acclimated to her new position with ease, freeing one his hands so he could pet her hair gently.

“What did you guys work on today?” she asked, her fingers slipping under the hem of Harry’s shirt to absent-mindedly rub the sparse strip of hair that trailed down from his navel and disappeared into the waistband of his boxers that were just barely peaking through the top of his jeans - similar to how he stroked her bump when they cuddle in bed at night.

“Finished up the master for Two Ghosts and added the keys to Woman, but tha’s about it. Started playin’ with another one, but I’m not sure that it’s gonna go anywhere.”

“Yeah? Was it the one you were playing for me the other night?”

Harry shook his head through another bite of his food and swallowed.

“Think we’re gonna do tha’ one next week. We were just messin’ ‘round w’ this one. Doubt I’ll ever go back to it after today.”

“Well, can I at least hear it before you scrap it?”

Harry bit the inside of his cheek and peered around the room, trying to locate the hard drive that held all of their practice runs and demos.

“Did they take the laptop when they left?” he asked.

“Nah, it’s still here. Let me go get it,” Jeff promptly shimmied out of his seat, stuffed to the brim with tofu and bamboo shoots that were mixed into his soup, making him move a bit slower than he had earlier.

Whilst Jeff was digging around in the back room in search of the song Harry was almost certain would get lost deep down in the numerous files of unfinished songs and melodies, Y/N tapped Harry’s stomach with her pointer finger to get his attention and opened her mouth, signaling she wanted another bite of his food. He dropped the veggies into her mouth gingerly, making sure to avoid staining his shirt or accidentally dropping a carrot on Y/N’s nose.

“Thank you for comin’. Missed ye’ all day,” Harry spoke in a whisper so that only Y/N could hear him.

“Missed you too,” she mumbled through her chewing, “She doesn’t move much when you’re gone. Think she misses you more.”

In that moment, he was thankful she wasn’t lying on his chest, because she most certainly would have heard his heart combust and scatter like confetti into his gut at the mention of his sweet baby girl that was set to arrive in a few months time.

“’S she kickin’ right now?”

A wide grin appeared on Y/N’s face and she nodded, taking the chopsticks out of Harry’s hand so she could move it down her waist and press it against the underside of her belly where their daughter was seemingly doing summersaults in the presence of her father. 

It always amazed him, each and every time. How there was a human being growing inside of her and he had a hand in creating her. Although he hadn’t met her just yet, he was postive she was the most precious and sweetest creature he’s ever known.

Bursting the sugary sweet bubble they’d trapped themselves in, Jeff arrived promptly with the laptop tucked under his arm. He brought it to life, skimming the dozens of folders within the drive until he found the one he was looking for. 

“Found it!” he announced to the room.

“Alright, let’s hear it.”

As if it would allow her to hear the song more clearly, Y/N lifted her head from Harry’s lap and sat up beside him instead. She leaned against his shoulder, letting her fingers intertwine with the ones attached to his arm that was pressed against hers.

The beginnings of an electric guitar and Harry’s voice filled her ears, Y/N immediately clocking the sound as something unlike anything he had previewed for her thus far. It was heavier, more akin to the style of an actual rockstar that graced stages across the country in tight pants and ooze sex appeal from every pore in their body (not that Harry didn’t already do that). 

Next, she heard the heavy pounding of drums, to which she gave Sarah a raise of her brow and look of approval for her skill. She had absolutely no explanation for the way this song Harry had been so pertinent about tossing in the trash was making her press her thighs together to mediate the heat rising within, but it was there. The dull, persistent throb that made her wish her and Harry were the only ones in the room so that she could straddle him right there on the couch and have her way with him.

Pregnancy hormones. Yeah, that’s what it was. Well, at least that’s what she was telling herself.

And then she heard the chorus.

I’m having your baby. It’s none of your business.

She cut her eyes to Harry, who was undeniably blushing and had his face buried in his free hand as if he was scared to see her reaction. He was smirking underhead his palm, knowing good and well that she was staring at him as the lyrics repeated themselves over and over and over again. When he finally decided to peak through his fingers, he was met with her wide-eyed and stunned expression, to which he burst into a fit of giggles that shook his belly and made his sides ache. Y/N couldn’t help but join in on the laughter, shaking her head at his bluntness, for lack of a better word. 

The song wasn’t long at all as it was clearly choppy and unfinished and a product of Harry, as he’d said in his own words, messing around with his friends. Sure, it needed some cleaning up and could use a bit more substinance, but it was by no means bad or anything worth chucking in her opinion. It was very much a song written about her, so she felt like she could stand confidently by that opinion.

“Well, shit,” Y/N huffed as the instruments came to an abrupt hault and all that was left of the recording were dwindling laughter and shuffles in the background while whoever was in charge of the sound board moved to cut the microphones, “That gets right to the point. Doesn’t it?”

“That’s what we said,” Sarah managed to get out in between wiping the mascara from under her eyes that ran when she was laughing at her dear friend’s reaction.

“I mean, I don’t think it’s bad at all. Needs some cleaning up, but I think you should keep working on it,” Y/N said honestly, prying Harry’s hand from his face so she could kiss him on the cheek.

“Oh, gee. Thanks. Didn’t know you were on payroll as a producer too,” Jeff called out contemptuously.

“Umm, without me, you wouldn’t have half of this album. Think I can say whatever I want about the matter. Thank you very much.”

Harry pressed his lips together and pointed at her with his fingers shaped like a handgun as if to corroborate what Y/N had just said.

“Yeh actually liked it though?” there was a hint of surprise in his voice.

He hadn’t expected that. He’d expected a smack on the chest or a scold, not praise.

Y/N smiled at the bashful boy beside her, picking a piece of fuzz from the collar of his shirt and flicking it off to the wayside.

“’S gonna have everyone’s panties in a bunch, that’s for sure.”

She picked up Harry’s arm and draped it around her shoulder so she could properly snuggle into his side.

“That damn kiwi,” she said with a playful sigh.

“Pardon?” Harry looked down, bewildered, to see Y/N busying herself by gently poking the taut skin of her tummy in attempt to get their baby to poke her back with her tiny hand or foot, there was really no way of telling which was which.

“That’s when I said that to you,” Y/N yawned, “I was craving kiwi and fuming mad because you ate the last one and when you asked why I was so worked up about it, I told you it’s because I was having your baby, but it wasn’t any of your business.”

The recollection immediately dawned on Harry, making him smack his forehead with a closed fist.

“That’s where that came from! I couldn’t remember what happened, but I’ve always thought that was the funniest thing you’ve ever said t’ me.”

“Ehhh, it’s top ten for sure. Wouldn’t say the funniest, but it’s up there.”

Harry rolled his eyes at her indifference, but he won’t lie and say that it wasn’t one of the things he loved about her the most. How even though she can be the biggest pain in his ass, she always finds a way to bring light into his life and make him smile even it seems next to impossible.

“So yeh think it should stay in the running?”

“Definitely. If I wasn’t already pregnant, I’d beg you to put one in me right here in this studio after hearing it,” she said nonchalantly.

Jeff mocked a gagging noise, “I think I’m genuinely going to hurl.” 

“Oh, be an adult for once in your life, Azoff!” Y/N quipped.

Harry stiffled his laughter into her neck, tickling the tiny hairs that rose to goosebumps with each breath he exhaled onto her skin. 

“I don’t think you understand, Y/N. I hear about you two every damn day in this studio. ‘S just like you said, the whole bloody album is about you two not being able to keep your hands off of each other for five seconds. ‘M surprised it’s taken you this long t’ get knocked up.”

Harry remained tight-lipped, having reduced his giggle fit to a minimum as he watched two of the most important people in his life bicker back and forth like children fighting over a toy. He supposes, in this case, he is the toy in question, but it was entertaining nonetheless.

“Gonna make a damn good album, though. Isn’t it?” Y/N’s haughty smirk answered that question all on its own.

[survey--s]

365.

Are you anything like your siblings? I don’t have any siblings, but I am pretty similar to my cousins. Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? Aside from my husband, not really, but then again I don’t really have friends in general lol. What can you smell? The candle I’m burning which is dark sandalwood and honey.   Do you want to see somebody right now? Nah, I’m quite happy just having a quiet evening on my own, to be honest. Are you a forgiving person? Not especially, no.

Who did you last fall asleep with? Mike and the dog. Would you hug the last person you hugged again? Sure, of course. Can you be your complete self around the person you like? I mean, of course, otherwise I wouldn’t have married them. Have you had “the best night of your life”? I mean, how can anyone answer that for certain? If you were offered to smoke some weed right now, would you accept? No, I have no real interest in any kind of drugs. Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning? In the morning, for sure, but practically speaking I tend to shower after work which is generally mid-afternoon or early evening. Who’s the most controlling person you know? My ex-fiancé. Does anyone keep a photo of you in their purse/wallet, and if so, who? I think Mike does? He did at one point anyway. How many instruments do you own/have you owned? None at the moment, but in the past - keyboard, recorder, guitar and cornet.  Do you own a microphone? No. Do you enjoy trailers at the cinema? Yeah, most definitely. Have you ever been burgled? Yes, twice. The first time, my parents’ car was broken into and they stole the radio and my rollerblades from the boot. The second time, my mum left the front door unlocked and they walked in and stole her handbag and the car off the drive. Do males look good in skinny jeans? Personally no, I don’t think so, but each to their own. For or against guyliner? It can look good. What’s the name of one of your friend’s dog? Charlie. What’s the last thing you bought from eBay? Two books I owned as a kid. Do you have a picture of you throwing up the peace sign? I’m sure there’s one lurking around somewhere, sure. Does your father have any facial hair? He does. A beard and a moustache. Did your grandparents teach you anything? Not to become addicted to alcohol as it will ruin your life and more. Have you ever been to Arizona? Did you like it? Nope. I have to say, nothing really appeals to me about Arizona. When was the last time it rained where you live? Yesterday evening. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? No. You just caught your bf/gf kissing someone of the same sex. Reaction? Well, that’s never going to happen so it’s not something I’ll worry about. Reach your right arm out. What do you touch? A blanket. You have to write a story for English, due tomorrow. What do you write? I’m not in school anymore so that’s never going to happen. Any concerts you’re attending coming up soon? No.  What part of the body did you last get pierced? Uhh, I can’t remember - probably my tragus but that’s closed up now as it never really healed properly. Any of your friends getting married? Not anytime soon, no. Who was the last person you took a picture with? Monty the horse lol. He wanted loads of cuddles this evening for some reason and kept nuzzling at me for more attention. Are you currently talking to/texting/instant messaging anyone? Nope, not right now. What’s one thing you’d like to accomplish in your lifetime? I’d love to own a horse but for various reasons I don’t think that will ever happen. What’s your biggest concern right now? I don’t really have any major concerns right now. How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? I don’t really keep track of that kind of thing. Ever been to a friend's house and starved the whole time? Nope. Who’s the last person you had a sleepover with? I haven’t had a sleepover for years. What’s the biggest bruise you’ve ever had? Probably when I fell on a skiing holiday and landed on black ice. That was seriously impressive and incredibly sore lol. Who is the youngest person in your immediate family? Uh, depends what counts as immediate family? Probably one of my cousins who’s seven or eight now. Do you remember the last song you slow danced to? No. Do you plan on having alcohol at your wedding? We had some champagne at the reception and drank a fair bit afterwards lol. Are you one of those people that are always cold? I’m either cold or hot, but never anywhere in between. Have you ever gone spotting deer? Not on purpose, but there are deer everywhere around here. We used to get them in the garden at my parents’ house and I’m always spotting them up the woods too. Do you think your ex still wants to be with you? I really don’t care. Has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever put alcohol/drugs before you? No. Are you listening to music right now? Nope, I’m watching an old series of Top Chef. What are your initials? .. What was the last thing you ate? Fish, chips and beans. When was the last time you ran? Yeah, I don’t run LOL. How did you get one of your scars? Falling off Stanley when I learnt to canter. Who do you text the most? Mike, Suzanne or Jade. Do you wish you had a pool table? Nah. I mean, if we had the space and had one, it would be cool but I wouldn’t go out of my way to buy one or anything. I feel like I’d use it loads for a week or two then it would sit there taking up space lol. Ever been to Olive Garden? No, we don’t have those here. What is something of which you need more in your life? Time and money. Do you tend to view your existence as more pleasant or unpleasant? Pleasant, for sure. When was the last time you ate a great deal of food in one sitting? Uhh, a while ago. Do you enjoy talking about music with others? Not really. I like music but it’s not something I’m hugely passionate about anymore. Is acting something you enjoy? I loved it in school but I’d never want to pursue it as a career or anything. Who was the last person to do something kind for you? Suzanne. I looked after Charlie on Saturday and not only did she pay me extra for staying until they get home, but she paid for my takeaway and gave me a bunch of snacks as a thank you lol. What was going on the last time you were in a bed with someone else? We were talking. What color of hair do you find the sexiest on the opposite gender? Brown hair. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yeah. Who is the last person you sent a message to on Facebook? Nina - she was arranging dog-sitting for November and a walk for her puppy later this week. What was the last thing you said? I can’t remember. Do you ever get flu shots? I did when they were offered at school but I haven’t had any since. I did get all my COVID shots including my booster, though. Do you turn your computer off completely at night, or just standby? It’s always turned off at night.

Is there one show you just can’t stand? There are plenty lol. I don’t get the popularity of Stranger Things though. Do you watch Disney Channel and Nickelodeon still? I never watched them to begin with, lol. We only had four channels when I was growing up and kids’ channels just didn’t feature. Do you like white Christmases? Love them, but they’re such a rarity on the coast.   Can you shoot a basketball? Yeah. Have you ever gotten stuck in an elevator? No.

Have you ever had to go to the police department? Nope. Have you ever had a home grown tomato? Not one I’ve grown myself, but yes.  Have you ever lived through a hurricane? No, we really don’t get any kind of extreme weather here. Maybe some storms and floods but it’s all pretty minor compared to the rest of the world. Do you like to draw? Not really, no. Do you have soft hands? Do you like holding hands? I suppose so, and no, not really.

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 88

~*~Sebastian~*~

After the video call with my friends, I went back to the couch with a fresh glass of wine. I am blessed. Family, friends, co-workers, and a woman who loves me. None of us are perfect. I have people to call when times are tough. Today they called me, knowing I’d be struggling, only this time it was in a good way. Not long later Jessica called and invited me to dinner.

Pizza, beer, friends, and a toddler made for a good night. Giulietta thought I was much more fun than mom or dad. I guess they don’t let her use them like a jungle gym. When mom spoiled our fun and said it was time to settle down, I stopped the tears by promising to read her a story. Her choice. Like someone else I know Giulietta was asleep before I was halfway through. At this rate I'll never know how anything ends.

I sent the picture Jessica had taken to Emma. She'd wake up to it and with any luck send me back something fun. Which she did as soon as she woke up. Which was afternoon for me. Dinner break before I checked my phone. Emma struck the perfect balance between sweet and sexy. Her hair was messy with just her eyes peeking over a pillow she was hugging. Those beautiful green eyes I loved to look into. I couldn't see her smile so I could imagine it anyway I liked. The sweet one she often got right before she told me she loved me. Or the other one she got when she wanted me. I loved them both.

Our texts were broken up over the course of the day. Short bursts or long hours between. We talked most days at least for a few minutes. We talked about our days, shared memories, and talked about us. Maybe had phone sex. What didn't happen was whining about being apart or bitching about the time and distance. I didn't hang up feeling angry or guilty. I did my job, hung out with friends, relaxed during my downtime, and did a little shopping. Emma relaxed, did some studying, and practiced guitar. I missed her. She missed me. But we went on with our lives apart, making the best of the situation. It sucked, except it didn't.

I think this is the way it's supposed to be.

Thursday we wrapped for Paris. That was worth a party. Over the next four days production would pack up and move to Rome. I'd spend a day and a half on planes going from Paris to Dallas to San Diego. Then back to Dallas and on to Rome. The time zones were going to fucking kill me.

I called Emma when I got back to my room. I was drunk and grumpy. Hearing her voice helped. Seeing her face was even better. The way she told me exactly what she wanted to do to me and said all sorts of dirty things until I came... I wasn't grumpy anymore.

I had a headache when my alarm rang. I needed more sleep. Hopefully, I'd catch up on the flight. I was still debating going back to sleep and blowing off the weekend when my phone rang. Emma. It was the middle of the night for her. "Why are you awake?"

She laughed, "Making sure your drunk ass doesn't turn off his alarm and blow off the weekend."

I rolled to my side, mirroring her. "I wouldn't do that. I was thinking about it, but I wouldn’t do it."

"Such a professional. How are you feeling?"

"I've been better. Advil, breakfast, and a long nap on the plane and I'll be fine. How are you?"

"Good. Big plans laying by the pool with Mallory today."

"Sounds fun. I will be on a plane."

"Yes, but you will walk out of the airport into sunny California. Then spend two days being adored and laughing with your friends."

"That will be fun." I was honestly looking forward to that part.

Emma yawned. I smiled at her beautiful face, "You need to go back to sleep. I need to get showered."

She didn't argue with me. She was tired.

"Thank you for making sure I was up. I love you."

"I love you." There was my sweet smile.

I cannot begin to explain how very disorientating it is to board a plane at nine am, travel for fifteen hours, to arrive at three pm, which is only six hours after you left. I get to relive eight of the hours I spent on the plane. Only thing is, my body thinks it’s midnight. I slept some on the flight and I knew better than to go back to sleep. The closer to "normal" bedtime for this time zone I could get, the better I would feel tomorrow. Anthony and I had press then an autograph session, before the big Marvel event. Sunday was photo ops and an autograph session. Both long days where I was expected to be pleasant despite how inappropriate or rude fans got. Needless to say, a decent night’s sleep would be best for everyone.

I got to my room by four and quickly realized I couldn't stay there. I needed fresh air. I needed to breathe. I changed into shorts and took off to have a look around. There were several hotels in the area that hosted celebrity guests. We weren't all in one place. I'd requested a beach. It was a little farther from the convention center and I was confident I could wander unseen. Most people stayed right around the center since a lot of packages kept prices lower and being so close to the action was appealing. I wanted the ocean.

Down the beach I could see big boulders and took off that direction. I needed some flip-flops. The sand made me think of Emma. The water. The people surfing. The impending sunset. Breathing. I'd like to say the plan I was cooking up was a product of sleep deprivation. It wasn't. It had been bouncing around in my head since this morning as we lay in bed together thousands of miles apart. I'd dismissed it as selfish. On the plane, when sleep was impossible, and I was panicking, it didn't seem so selfish. I shoved the idea away because I knew it really was. The same reasons I didn't ask Emma to stay in Paris or go to Rome were valid here. Asking her to fly literally to the other side of the country to spend two days with me, asking her to amuse herself while I worked a chunk of that time, was peak me as a selfish asshole. The longer I sat on the rock watching the ocean the less of a bad idea it seemed. Maybe not less of a bad idea, but an idea I could give her a choice in, with the difference being if she said no, I wouldn't be angry or make her pay for not doing what I wanted. Growth in action. Hopefully.

I should check flights before I even think about calling. Or actually call, because I'm already thinking about calling. Might not be possible.

It was. I flipped my phone in my hands several times before hitting the buttons to call her. Apparently, I hadn't grown completely out of being an ass.

"I'm about to be an asshole."

Emma raised her eyebrows, "Uh oh."

"Yeah." I was going to do it anyway. "Fifteen-hour flight with little sleep because the turbulence over the ocean was a nightmare. I'm grumpy, exhausted, and lonely as fuck. I'm on the beach without you. I miss you. I can get you on a flight in the morning and if you come straight to the venue you'll be here before I have to do anything. It’ll be two days. I have to leave for Rome Monday. I know it's a shitty thing to ask, but will you come see me? So I can see you."

"I'd love to."

I was prepared to step up my game and her easy acquiescence caught me off guard. "You will?"

She nodded with a smile, "I miss you too."

I took a deep breath and let it out, "I was prepared to beg."

Her smile was almost a laugh, "While you begging sounds fun, it's not necessary. Do I need to pack anything dressy?"

"Fuck, I hope not. I have a pair of jeans, shorts, and sweatpants." It's amazing how much better I felt. I ran my hands through my hair. "You're flying out of JFK. Sorry."

"You booked the flight already?"

"Not many seats left. I wasn't risking it. You leave at seven, here at ten. My first thing is noon." I could see her grabbing her carry-on from the closet.

"I'm going to spend the night at your place. Do you want me to bring you anything?"

I scrunched up my face, "Underwear."

"You don't have underwear?"

"The one's I'm in and a spare."

"You may not like what I pick out."

"Emma, baby, I will wear yours as long as you deliver them."

"I think that's a little drastic."

"It's really not."

Emma laughed and touched her screen. I could almost feel her. I could definitely imagine feeling her. She almost gasped and broke into a smile, "I have an idea. I need to call Jill real quick. Give me five maybe ten minutes."

I nodded, "Okay. I'm going to lay here on my rock."

My rock was not soft, but I was very comfortable. I was very happy. The sky was blue and the sound of the waves was calming. I only had to wait until tomorrow to see Emma. It was going to be a good day.

A little more than five minutes later Emma was calling me back. "You've made my little sister very happy."

"Excellent!” I smiled, "How'd I do that?"

"We need to change my flight. Monday I'm going to Seattle pick up Olivia and take her back to New York with me. Then we'll meet up with the family in Chicago."

"That's perfect. You're not just coming out here for me."

She picked up on it. "Yeah, because seeing you isn't enough of a reason. You know I miss you, right?"

"I know, but I'm..."

Emma cut me off, "Stop there. I jump on planes to spend weekends on tour with dad. This is fun for me. Dad's doing sound checks, interviews, and charity shit while I amuse myself. You're not an asshole. I love this."

"You love this?" I did not love jumping on planes at short notice.

She was nodding as I spoke, "I love this."

"And you'd tell me to fuck off if you didn't?"

"Maybe, but this is your lucky day."

"No, my luck day was exactly eight weeks ago."

We talked for another ten minutes or so until she was loaded and heading into the city. We've talked while she's driving many times, but I wanted her to pay attention. The sun was going down where she was and it would be dark before she got to my place. I headed back toward the hotel and ordered room service. By the time Emma texted she was at mine and I was deep in a documentary, struggling to stay awake.

Emma ~ Safe and sound in your bed.

Naturally, she sent a picture. Sheet barely covering her breasts and one arm stretched out above her head.

I sent back a picture of me in the same pose, but making sure to show the empty side of the bed. I drew a red ✗ there.

Sebastian ~ Where you will be in my bed tomorrow.

Emma ~ Equally safe and sound Sebastian ~ More. Emma ~ I'm going to sleep. I will see you in the morning. Sebastian- Can not fucking wait

 I was probably asleep before she was. By the time I woke up twelve hours later Emma was halfway here. I felt well-rested and excited for my day. Not just the Emma piece. Mackie and I always had fun together. I'd been sent the day’s itinerary. Noon was press, two thirty was an autograph session, and five was the big deal Marvel panel. We should be done by 6:30. Disney was having a party tonight. I had to make an appearance. It started at eight. That wasn't going to happen. Nine was more likely. I remembered it wouldn't matter because mice can't tell time.

At the venue I was led to a behind the scenes area. There was a large room, guarded by security, set with food and drink. Several smaller rooms encircled the larger area and some were labeled with company names. One of the largest was for Disney, with cloth wall dividers making several smaller rooms, where a stylist would be waiting to make sure Mackie and I looked presentable. Outside of the room was a loading area that was separated from the autograph booths by black curtains. I'd already ducked between them and gave fans nosing around my booth quite a surprise. Those were my favorite interactions. The ones without expectations. Security came over to make sure I hadn't been ambushed. I hadn't, but that was a perfect way to get away and I needed to talk to security anyway. I had them take me to the security office. Some lucky fans got a shot at a sighting of a Sebastian in the wild. I explained what was happening to the head of security and put Emma’s name on a list. They gave me a lanyard with her all-access pass and told me what door to direct her to. Security would meet her and bring her to me.

"About that." Call me paranoid, but I didn't trust they'd remember to have someone waiting for her. They'd call someone when she showed up and gave her name to the person with the list. "I need a Pearl Jam fan."

"Excuse me?"

"Someone on your staff is a Pearl Jam fan. Get them.”

He got on his radio, "Anyone out there a Pearl Jam fan?"

A voice came back, "Big Ed. He works all the shows up the coast."

I looked at my watch then back at the supervisor, "I need to borrow him for an hour."

His face read doubtful, but I was Disney. "Big Ed. I need you in the security office. Anyone see him? Send him."

A different voice, "On my way, boss."

Several minutes later Big Ed came through the door. I knew it was him because he was six-five and an easy two-fifty. He was his name. I held out my hand, "Hey, Big Ed. I'm Sebastian. Nice to meet you."

“You too."

"Walk me back to the guest area." We headed out and I waited until we were away from the office. "Do you know Ed's daughter?"

He smiled, "He has three. Which one?"

"The only one old enough for me to ask about."

"Emma. I've seen her at a couple of shows. I work security up the coast. Great way to see a bunch of shows."

I nodded, "I guess anything you miss at one you can catch at the next."

"Exactly." He pointed to his ear, "And you can always hear."

"Back to Emma. She's on her way here. I'd appreciate it if you would meet her and bring her to me."

"Is Ed coming?"

"No, he's," I stopped myself, "you ask her where he is."

He laughed, "I might take the long way back here."

"I haven't seen her in weeks. Not too long." Two is weeks. Barely.

Emma texted they'd landed. Big Ed changed where he wanted her to go and he headed in that direction. I sat down to wait for her to text she was here. I heard a familiar voice.

"Sebastian Stan? Is that really you?"

"Captain America?" I stood up and turned to the voice.

"Don't call me that. The pressure." Mackie hugged me, slapping my back much harder than necessary. "How jet-lagged are you?"

"Is that code for how much work are you going to have to do because I'm grouchy?"

"Maybe." We laughed.

"I had a good night’s sleep and I'm in a great mood."

"You seem twitchy. Why are you twitchy?"

"I'm not twitchy."

"Yes, you are. You're twitchy."

"If I'm twitchy it's because you're making me twitchy."

He pointed at me, "Ah ha! You admitted it. You're twitchy."

I rolled my eyes and scowled, "Emma's on her way. I might be a little twitchy."

"Here?" He pointed to the ground. With his eyebrows raised.

I smiled, "My girlfriend."

"Yeah, I got that. Plus, Evans told me."

"She’s not a secret." That felt good.

He asked and I answered. Talking about Emma is my second favorite thing having to do with Emma. First is being with Emma. In absolutely any way. My phone went off with Emma telling me she was here. I put my hand on Mackie’s arm. "Stay here. Right here."

[sleekervae]

Young God [0.2]

"Andy!" Danny came jumping off the stage and embraced Andy with a proper teddy bear-bro hug. He was slightly sweaty and he smelled like the inside of a mini fridge. Andy's mouth was dry. Reanimating himself slowly, he licked his lips as he looked up to see the other approaching band members.

"Good to see ya', man," Ben jumped down next and greeted him with a high-five.

"You too," he said, "How's life across the pond?"

"Oh, ya know," Danny sighed, "Rainy, dreary, full of uppity capitalists,"

"Home sweet home!" Sam called. Andy swallowed again as they spoke, his eyes shifted to the girl with blue hair just sat in his peripherals.

"How're the ribs?" Ben asked.

Andy subconsciously patted the tight wrapping around his torso, well hidden by his own raggedy tank-shirt, "Still painful, but nothing a shot of whiskey could fix at the end of the night," he said.

Taylor watched the boys catch up with fictitious interest. This had happened to her previous times before in pubs back in England. Usually, she wouldn't care much for Danny to talk smack with his mates, but this time was different. The lanky stranger donned in black was like a cartoon character out of a Japanese horror manga. But behind that curtain of jet-black hair, his face was very pretty, and his blue eyes, despite being clouded with fatigue, were inquisitive and clearly studying her back. She cleared her throat to garner their attention.

Danny then chuckled sheepishly, "Andy, this is Taylor. Taylor, Andy,"

Then Andy turned his full attention to the girl he had found so endearing and took a step forward, lifting his chin. He was hit with the awareness that he was experiencing of those grand moments which you were supposed to fully absorb and remember every detail of, pay attention to every sense so that you could recall or retell it when you were nostalgic, when you missed it, longed for the time and place of that situation instead, but he couldn't focus properly.

"Nice to meet you," he shrugged, forcing as much confidence into his voice as he could, holding out his hand.

"Back at ya', babe,"

Her voice had laced within it a hint of mockery, but her smile was too gentle and warm to be clearly challenging him and Andy pushed the initial panic to the back of his mind, reaching forward to take her outstretched hand instead, shaking it slowly and cupping it with his other. Her accent was strong and thick, not soft and posh like Danny and Ben's. It was unique and hard, and it added an eccentricity to her character.

Taylor winced as soon as the nickname left her lips. She hadn't chosen it purposely, it had just sort of slipped out as a defence mechanism against the nervous knotting in her stomach, but she added a firm nod to show that she was happy in her choice, ignored Ben and James' sniggers and tried to keep up the act of being unfazed by his intimidating sublimity.

Andy couldn't hold back the satisfied smirk that spread to his face, "That's a sexy accent," he said.

"I believe you're the only one who thinks so," Taylor replied.

"Don't be that way, Taylor!" Danny scolded, "I love your hard-to-hear accent,"

Ben crossed his arms at Taylor's impending scowl, "Taylor's a new rock act from Newcastle. She was our opener on our last tour," he explained to Andy.

"You could say we've adopted her," Sam said.

"Because that doesn't make you sound creepy," Taylor pointed out, "Are you a performer, Andy? Or just an elaborate fanboy?"

Andy feigned off a blithe chuckle, "I'm with my band. You ever heard of Black Veil Brides?" he asked.

"I think Danny was dancing to your record in the bus last week,"

"Aye, he were," Cameron chimed in, "Flapping his fucking arms and bouncing drunk off his arse,"

"I think I right turned him on," Danny grinned with pride.

"You wish," Cameron scoffed.

Taylor smirked in a coy response, "You ain't his type, Danny," she said, "Cameron like's 'em skinnier and a lot less hairy,"

"Oh, fuck off, Taylor!" Danny sneered back, "All the girls want this fucking sex appeal!"

Andy stood back and looked around, sniggering to himself, "Where?" he joked and Taylor laughed in response. She then leaned back on the rail and extended her hand out.

"Nice, mate," she grinned and he low-fived her.

Ben's smile only grew from there and he threw his arm around Danny's broad shoulders, "They're just jealous, my love," he said, "Don't listen to 'em,"

"Cue 'Can You Feel the Love Tonight'," Sam remarked.

Upon the stage, the band suddenly stopped and turned when they heard their manager whistle out loud, "C'mon, fellas! We don't have all day!" he called.

"We're coming, Kyle!" Ben shouted, "Keep your knickers on!"

The boys quickly climbed back on the stage and took their places again, though when Ben plugged his guitar back in the amplifier squealed out with tremendous cacophony. Taylor winced and covered her ears. From there, they tore into their next set piece.

Andy glanced at her again as she adjusted her seat on the rail. Her ankles were crossed and her wrists were pressed back under the weight of her arms, though something in her posture struck him as having an air of elegance.

"You wanna go for a walk?" he asked her over the music.

Taylor glanced up at him, then looked back over at Danny who was too enthralled in his screamo singing, "Sure,"

The temperature in the air was slowly rising and Taylor could feel it more than Andy. She had quickly tied up her hair in a messy knot bun as they wandered around the field, watching tents being pitched and listening in on sets that would take place later in the day. Taylor was doing her best to keep her composure as they walked side-by-side, trying not to feel so small next to Andy both in physicality and metaphorically. He had the same sort of charming personality that Danny held, though she found that he spoke with an eloquence that she hadn't at all expected from someone who looked the way he did. And his voice as deep, yet velvet-smooth, despite him stuttering on his words here and there. Taylor hadn't heard him sing yet but she was eager for the opportunity, just to hear what his voice sounded like.

"So, are you big in the UK?" Andy asked.

"I'm more of a proper C-Lister," she nodded with a smirk, "There's the forty-sixty chance of people recognizing me on the street," she then looked him up and down again, "I'm sure you got no problem getting spotted in public, eh?"

"Comes with the getup," Andy grinned, "I get eyed up more by security in department stores than I do in the fucking Starbucks, though,"

"Why do you get all dressed up like that?" she asked.

His eyes carried a personable twinkle as he pulled another cigarette from his pocket, "For the same reason you dye your hair: theatricality. Individuality,"  

On instinct, Taylor brushed her fingers at the nape of her neck, just meeting the scratchy frongs of loose hair that were sticking out, "So do you do the same kind of screamo music Danny and them do?"

"Sort of," Andy shrugged, "Cam said you guys were listening to my records last week, right?"

"Danny were. I was hiding in one of the back bunks pretending I didn't know him," she replied with a devious grin, "I love him to death, but he can't dance for shit. Especially when he's smashed,"

Andy chuckled back, "Yeah, I've had to witness his pelvis thrusting a few times, unfortunately," he said. He lit the cigarette, took a quick puff, then offered it to Taylor. She looked at the bud warily, but accepted.

"I wasn't paying much attention, but I liked what I heard," she admitted, "Of your record,"

Andy kept his composure, but he felt a nervous smile playing at his lips, "Oh, yeah?"

She puffed on the cigarette before handing it back to him, "Yeah. There was one I thought was really cool. There was this sick guitar rift that was in my head all night -- it just went like..."

Taylor raised her arms and curved her hands to make out like she was playing air guitar, humming a rickety melody that was close to the guitar break in Knives and Pens. The melody was instantly recognizable to Andy, but he let her carry on longer than necessary to watch her, the giggle she let out after the third repetition of the riff delicious. He already knew he would struggle to pay attention to the song later when he had to play it, hoped she'd be at the side of the stage nodding along just like that, humming, wondered if her hips would move to the beat too, if he'd be able to watch it from where his mic was placed, if she'd keep that fearless eye contact that was slowly driving him crazy.

"I think that was supposed to be Knives and Pens," he chuckled once she had stopped giggling to catch her breath.

She nodded, her lips twitching with playfulness, "And I think did a fucking fantastic job on me air guitar,"

"Alright, I got me an emergency guitar player," he chuckled, nudging her with his elbow slightly.

Taylor blushed and Andy noted the rose colour of her cheeks before she could hide them partially in her hands, caught on her youthful radiance, couldn't help but want to see the same colour a thousand times over just so he could marvel at how soft and delicate she was.

Her cheeks were still burning but she lifted her eyes slowly back to his and gave a tentative smile, wrapping her pinky round one of her curls and tugging at it, "Well, if you ever need a backup, I could fill in for that one song and one song only, Andy,"

Andy was convinced his heart was going to crack his ribs (again) just from the way it pounded in his chest when she said his name, the way it rolled off of her tongue and sounded more interesting than he'd ever considered it to be. She lit up the air with her smile alone, the bright brown of her eyes mesmerizing.

"I like that you don't know everything," he said, "Means the show will be a bit of surprise for you,"

She nodded back like she understood him, about to tell him she was excited to watch him perform when he cut in first.

"Do you wanna come watch our set?" His words were rushed, maybe a little too obviously panicked at the thought of her not staying.

"Yeah," she nodded, "I think Ben was gonna' drag me along anyway,"

He scratched his nose and ruffled a hand back through his hair.

"Do you have a set?"

She nodded again, "Later in the day. Acoustics only though, for fuck sakes," she groaned, "Apparently I'm not cool and relevant enough to get a band and fully wired set. But don't you think that defeats the purpose of branching out?" her frustration and irritation was evident to Andy. He handed her the cigarette again.

"Baby steps," he suggested, "Maybe management wants to give you one of those soft opening kind of things?"

"Yeah," she sighed with a drag, "Don't make me feel no better about performing though. This is supposed to be my American debut, and they got me strumming my songs like lullabies to a bunch of metal heads in a tent,"

"I'm sure it can't be that bad,"

Taylor chuckled sinisterly, "Yeah. Ya' know the festival director, here? He has this assistant that does all the scheduling and booking shite for the shows. Scrawny little fuck with them big-rimmed glasses. You know what he said when he first laid eyes on me?" she said.

"Damn, what a babe?" Andy grinned.

She smiled faintly, but her eyes glimmered with cheery at his words, "Aw, fuck," she said.

"What?"

"That's what he said," she told him, "Aw, fuck. 'Cause I'm another trampy girl trying to be a rockstar,"

"He said that to you?" Andy asked in slight disbelief.

"Oh, he didn't have to. It was all over his bloody face," she said, "Me being new to the music scene probably doesn't help my case, either,"

The gentle smile on her lips was replaced by that of venom and anger, but it was well routed. Andy saw the frustration evident in her face; the way her mouth tightened and her eyes averted to the ground, her shoulders then became stiff and she exhaled slowly to release her vexation.

"Well, that's bullshit," he told her, "Shouldn't matter whether you're new or... what you got going on in your pants,"

"You know that, I know that -- half the bloody people here should know that," Taylor sighed, "The sad reality is that despite all of the success we've had, there's still this misogynistic notion that women aren't cut out for rock music,"

Andy scoffed as he dragged on his cigarette again, "Clearly, Thick-Rims is in the wrong business. Rock n' roll is supposed to be all about rebellion," he said.

"That's your interpretation," Taylor pointed out, "I find rock music is about sex,"

Andy stopped suddenly as she jumped onto another rail, dug just outside another smaller stage that was slowly being constructed by roadies. He was taken aback by her answer at first, but maybe that was because he too for a moment had fallen into the stereotype that this girl was sweet and polite.s.

Taylor sat on the ledge of the rail with her legs swinging back and forth, looking up at Andy with those big, curious brown eyes of hers. Those eyes were studying him, waiting patiently for what answer he would give her.

"Sex?" he repeated, standing just level to her now that she sat higher. Taylor nodded with enthusiasm.

"Think about it," Taylor placed her hands out before her, fingers extended yet rigid to make her point, "Sex is passion; rebellion, as you've pointed out. It's dirty and gritty and almost always ends with a climactic bang -- or an STD," he last comment made Andy chuckle.

"Rock stars have typically embodied the bad boy image -- someone who could fuck up your life in the best ways so that when you're old and folly you hear those songs and you're instantly transported to the wildest rock concert you've ever been to. Because you weren't thinking it out, you were lost in the intense emotions,"

With those words, she snatched the cigarette from his hand and brought it to her berry pink lips. Andy was intrigued by the words, noting the way her eyes sparkled to match the enthusiasm in her voice. Nonetheless, she was a fascinating young girl.

"Sounds like a few of the close encounters I've had with past girlfriends," he grinned cheekily.

Taylor exhaled the smoke from her lips, letting the tantalizing smell of nicotine intermingled with her mint toothpaste waft just beneath Andy's nose, "Well, the best of anything is never planned, you just need the mania for it to go mad,"

[princecupcakee]

Park Bench | Reddie

Read on AO3

Rating: E

Pairing: Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak

Word Count: 3,320

Chapter: 3/8

Past Chapters: Chapter 1 (AO3), Chapter 2 (AO3)

Next Chapters: Chapter 4 (AO3)

Summary: Recently divorced and ‘incapable of love’, Eddie Kaspbrak moves to Los Angeles for work and a small, small hope of a fresh start. Broken up and never dated again, Richie Tozier tries to get back into love with help from his love of music. Quickly meeting eyes and one concert later, they think that maybe love isn’t that bad. So they try it one more time.

Chapter 3: Richie Tozier At The Movies, Eddie Kaspbrak With His Thoughts & Richie Tozier With His Guitar

Tags/Warnings: Angst / Unhappy Ending / theres only one sex scene but this is explicit anyway / Bisexual Richie Tozier / Gay Eddie Kaspbrak / Post-Divorce / Implied/Referenced Cheating / Inspired By Remembering Sunday (All Time Low) / Inspired by The Book Ninja by Ali Berg / Implied/Referenced Child Abuse / Implied/Referenced Abuse / Implied/Referenced Manipulation

Tag-list: @richietoaster​ , @s-s-georgie​ , @mikeuris​ , @gazebobullshit​ , @that-weird-girls-blog​ , @tozierking​ , @thoughtfullyyoungduck​ , @s-onora​ , @bellarosewrites​ , @lermanslogan​ , @ambitiousskychild​ , @ghostnebula​ , @vanillaredvelvet​ ,

(Ask if you wanna be on the tag-list!!)

Chapter 3

Richie Tozier At The Movies

After bringing Eddie home that morning he set out for his next vinyl-date (the name was a work in progress) before going to his sister’s house. He tried to have his head in it, he did, but all throughout the car ride, he couldn’t think straight. He wondered how Eddie was, what he was doing on his day off. He couldn't think of anything even when he had already gotten there. He needed to focus, he wanted to, but he couldn’t stop his head from floating into the clouds.

So when he walked into the movie theatre, he knew he should’ve just stayed home. Alex looked amazing and Richie knew that, but that didn’t really help. They’d picked a new action movie that was heard to have a song from the record in its soundtrack. By that time, he had dropped over 30 records on the local subway, have gotten multiple emails from music lovers like himself, and gone on quite a few dates already. A few memorable ones were Will, a man from Hawkins getting over a lost love, had talked a little too much about said lost love. The two decided to stay as friends. After that was a date with Theo, a New Yorker in search of a painting and person. Similar to Will, in search of his lost love, they’ve decided to stay friends as well. Now, Alex, a writer from New York City who moved to LA two years ago in search of new love, had messaged him after he dropped, ‘Appetite For Destruction.’

“Hi! Richie, yeah?” Alex smiled at him, holding a bowl of popcorn and two drinks. Richie nodded as politely as he could as he thought, ‘why doesn’t Eddie have the same accent?’ “Cool,” Alex hummed, “lets go?” “Sure.”

Richie was glad they went to the movies. It was dark and loud, and your excuse to not pay attention to your date is staring intensely at the screen to look like your focused on it. So, for ninety long minutes, he plotted about the easiest ways to get out of this date. ‘I have a dentist’s appointment’ sounded a bit too rude and overdone to him, ‘I have to take care of my niece and nephew’ was true, but sounded pretty useless. From the 90 minutes, he was able to think up nothing. 

“That was a nice movie,” Alex began, smiling at Richie. “Yeah, it really was,” Richie smiled, “but, uh, see, I gotta run." “sure,” Alex waved, slightly annoyed. Richie turned around didn’t look back.

Richie sat in the backseat of his car, staring at its ceiling. He started this to find love, to move on from what happened with Connor, and breathe. But now its seems like a waste of time to him. He can’t even focus on a date without just leaving to sit around in his car. And for what reason? He didn’t even know. He’s getting all of the chances that he didn't get but he’s just throwing them away. He’s just leaving and wasting. Maybe he just doesn’t get that chance. Maybe he just shouldn’t.

He checks his phone for the time and squishes to the front of the car. He didn’t need the stereo, he needs something going for him, no matter how deafening. Drumming a steady beat on to the steering wheel, “Robert’s got a quick hand.” Finishing the first verse, he turns his keys and drives out of the space. “All the other kids with the pumped up kicks,” he swayed his head side to side slightly driving over to Annie’s house.

Eddie Kaspbrak With His Thoughts

Eddie laid down on his bed checking the large, fancy clock hanging above his head, 2:30 PM. After the magnificent sunrise he witnessed with one, handsome, charming, funny, surprisingly smart Richie Tozier, he went home. Richie winked and said ‘wait’ after he brought Eddie back, and of course, that sent the shorter of the two in a bit of a craze.

He’d never felt this. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to. It was strong and wouldn’t let him breathe and made his heart explode. When he laughed, when he sang, when he smiled, Eddie couldn’t keep his mind off Richie. It wasn’t like this with Myra. How could it have been? She was there, to keep him alive, not let him live. ~ “Eddie-bear, have you taken your pills yet? You know, you’re mother called me last week, reminding me that you have a seafood allergy, why did you never tell me about that? I’m your wife, Eddie. I’m supposed to know these things about you! What if you ate something that made you sick? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, Eddie! Do you want that? Do you want me to be in pain?” ~ But with Richie everything seemed, brighter. He never said anything Myra did, he never forced Eddie to do something he never wanted to do, he never put words into Eddie’s mouth. ‘It’s clearly too early though, I mean four days? Can you fall in love in four days?’ Eddie dropped his urge to Google that, not wanting to get up (or be disappointed if no, you couldn’t fall in love in four days.) He was never strong. Physically, emotionally, he had always lost. He was never brave. He was the one that sat on the sidelines, afraid to see what’ll happen. Afraid to listen to what he wants. Was that because of his mother, or Myra, or him? He never really wanted to find out.

Sonia was controlling, she watched Eddie’s every move, didn’t let him do anything. Sonia introduced the two, and Eddie thought he had to fall in love. When Eddie married Myra, he thought that maybe he would be slightly freer. He was very visibly wrong. She wasn’t any different from his mother. After 15 years of being married, he realized hoe abusive his mother was, how he didn’t want that marriage anymore, and how more appealing men are to women. He told Myra the night he filed their divorce, all she did was leave the room. She left the room to call his mother. ~ “Don’t you just love her, Eddie? She’s smart, she’s kind, she’s responsible, and she knows how to take care of you! You were such a mischievous child back then, when you played with that stuttering friend of yours, he was such a bad influence on you. Isn’t he… queer? I can’t even say the word. Disgusting. You shouldn’t have been friends with him, Eddie. Are you still friends with him? You must get him out of your life immediately, Eddie! I don’t want my Eddie-bear being like him.” ~ But what if he was in love? What if he was in love with a man? A man he’d only known for four days? Eddie sighed, fighting back tears. He didn’t need this. He shouldn’t be doing this.

He walked out of his room, feeling as if he can’t breathe there. But this is Los Angeles. This isn’t home. He walked down the long hallways heading down the stairs back to the library. Why had he come here? He didn’t know either or, he did, just didn’t want to say it. Eddie took a vinyl from the bottom of the shelf, ‘Never Trust A Happy Song’ in a small font above ‘Grouplove.’ He didn’t know any songs on it, but he figured anything would be better than being trapped in silence with his own memories.

He tried to mimic Richie’s moves from before, failing quite a few times. He winced at the loud sound of what seemed to be the end of a song. ‘Take me to your best friend's house, roll around this roundabout, oh yeah,’ played in the- Eddie really needed to Google what that thing was, ‘can you fall in love in four days?’ Rang in his head once again, forcing him to put his phone down and take a seat in the large chair before him.

He wondered what Richie was doing, why’d he had asked him to ‘wait’ and then leave. He wondered if maybe Richie had fallen in love before. If maybe Richie felt how he did. He wasn’t supposed to, that was sure, but he wanted to. He wanted to know the feeling of loving and being loved, maybe he had, maybe Myra was the feeling of loving and being loved. Or maybe it was Richie. Eddie wouldn’t know. He had hoped it would be Richie though. That made him smile, nothing like what he had gone through with Myra.

But it was also his fault. It may have done him good but it was still wrong. He may have needed it but that still wasn’t acceptable. He did do it. He wasn’t being responsible, he wasn’t being right. He did owe Myra something for what he did. He could’ve done it simpler, and not ruin his marriage in the most unnecessary way there was. He had to go to that bar, that night. ‘Somethings are too good to pass’ he tried to make a good excuse, but he knew it wouldn’t have worked. He was right.

But he didn’t owe Myra his life or his heart, he owed her an apology, a divorce, and something that would have been better for both of them. And what was better for both of them was leaving. It wasn’t exactly leaving New York, it was just leaving, no longer in each other’s lives and forget. Forgetting has always been much easier than actually facing your problems. Forgetting left things there, not having to see them anymore and not thinking. Forgetting meant, even for a little while, nothing can be any worse.

‘Don’t take me tongue tied, don’t wave no goodbye,’ He’d never heard this song before, but something about it made him feel like he did. Maybe, if he tried hard enough, something about it would make him feel like he knew himself, too.

Richie Tozier With His Guitar

He rang the doorbell, running to the side of the porch to not be seen. He crouched below the window and as if on cue, a little girl pushed the curtains away and looked out the window. “I know thats, you Richie!” A little girl said, opening her front door. “Aw, how’d you know that Maddie?” He said, ruffling her hair. “Mommy said you were coming,” she said putting her hands on her hips. “Just you and Walter today?” “Yup!” “Alright, go get your brother, I’ll be in the living room. Your mom’s gonna be calling any second now,” he said as he watched Maddison walk up the stairs and call her brother.

Richie walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch, moving the guitar from his back to the floor. Just as he predicted, his sister rang the phone, “I’m already here Annie. They’re getting their guitars, we’re playing stuff today.” “Thanks, Rich. I owe you,” she sighed gratefully over the phone. “No problem. I missed these goblins anyway.” “Okay, thank you so much, I have to go. Mom’s gonna be there soon. Oh and tell Walter to help Maddie with her painting, she gets really unhappy when he doesn’t and-“ “I know this already, go.” “Thank you, Richie.” “Your my sister, its my job,” Richie laughed and put the phone down.

“We’re here!” Maddison smiled, brother in tow. “Hi uncle Richie,” Walter said softly, sitting by Richie’s feet with knees against his chest.

He was two years older than Maddison, the same age gap him and Annica had. Maddie was five while Walter was seven. The two were fairly opposite, Walter preferring to keep to himself while Maddie was outgoing and social. Outside of her sister, he raised them. Annie was a good mother, but being a single one, she didn’t have it any easy either. Her husband died less than three years ago from an accident. Thats why he came over more and took care of her kids more. It didn’t help that the whole problem with Connor rose in the time of this and him having a responsibility to not fuck up kids left him out of it for a while. Until he was just angry, he never took it out on anyone, that he made sure of, but he was just angry at love. Maddie and Walter were a help though, it made him forget. Forgetting is much easier than confronting, its like painting over graffiti like it was never there.

“What are we playing today?” Maddie asked, leaning her head to the side exaggeratedly. “What’s a song you guys want?” Richie asked looking back and forth between the two. Walter stood up, walking to the small shelf that sat by the TV. He walked back with a cassette tape in hand. A paper was stuck on to the tape, and in small letters and font, ‘Tongue Tied - Grouplove’ written on it. Richie smiled kindly at him, “How do you know this song?” He simply shrugged and urged him to take the tape. “Lets play it then,” Richie nodded while picking up his guitar. Walter held breath to say something, Richie having to give him permission before he did. “I already know the beginning. C-could you teach me the middle?” “Which part?” “After the second chorus.” “Sure. Anyone wanna sing?” “Can I sing with you? Like, you're gonna sing and I’m gonna sing too, both of us sing!” Maddie said excitedly with big hand gestures (Richie wondered if part of that was his doing. He assumed that it probably was.) Richie nodded, “one two three four,” G. “Don’t take me tongue tied,” G. Then, C. “let’s stay up all night,” He sang with Maddie. “I'll get real high.” Richie sang as Maddie shook her head. Despite Richie’s smile, a dark room, broken glass, smoke, tears, screaming, flood his head. ‘Fuck! Can’t I do anything right?’ He cried that night. “Slumber party, pillow fight,” The two sung in harmony again, “My eyes and your eyes, Like Peter Pan up in the sky,” Maddie sang bringing her hand up above her head to mimic Peter Pan flying. Walter and Richie laughed. “My best friend's house tonight,” Richie sang. ‘Stan? You there? Look, I-I need a place to stay. I’ll tell you about it when I’m there. Yeah… yeah, Th-thanks.’ “Let's bump the beats till beddy-bye,” Richie smiled, despite fighting back tears. ‘Connor. Connor. Connor.’ He thought. “Don’t take me tongue tied,” Richie sang. ‘Eddie. Eddie. Eddie.’ He thought, the tears behind his eyes, drying away, “Don't wave no goodbye.”

By the time they had sung three songs, Maggie and Wentworth were already at the door. He said his goodbyes and walked back to his car. Hearing the first song back again in his head, his breathing sped. He threw his head back and whispered to himself, “Breathe, Richie. breathe.” He thought about how uncomfortable and disgusted Connor looked when he got down on one knee. He remembered how Connor screamed at him, how Connor mocked him for thinking that he actually loved Richie the way Richie did for him. ‘Please.’ ~ “What? What the fuck?” Richie thought he was just surprised. “Dude, gross. I wouldn’t marry a man. That’s fucking gross. Look, man. I have a girlfriend, we aren’t fucking together. Thats so fucking weird.” “but I- I thought-“ “Thought what? That we were together? Fucking gross. Get out.” ~ Richie turned on his stereo. Anything is better than this. He didn’t need to cry, he didn’t need to listen to whatever the fuck was going on in his head. He doesn’t need to stay, he can leave.’ Please, don't let me down,’ the radio played loudly. Richie thought it was weird, songs like these weren’t on the radio, but he sang along anyway. “Please, don't let me down, You better come around,” he softly sang against the loud radio. He never liked his voice much. He used it for comedy, for words he didn’t want to say. He didn’t know how to describe it, but he felt as if he just shouldn’t sing, he sounded better doing impressions anyway. Although some people like it, like Walter and Maddie, he wondered if Eddie liked it too. “You save yourself, I'll save myself each time around,” he sang louder, trying to catch what his voice sounded like. ~ “Stan? You there? Look, I-I need a place to stay. I’ll tell you about it when I’m there.” “You can always stay here Richie. Don’t worry,” Stan sounded like he already knew. Richie guessed everybody saw it coming. “Yeah… yeah, Th-thanks.’ Richie tried not to break into tears. ~ He was going to go drive to Eddie. He was horrified, but he was gonna go to Eddie. As much as he would hate to admit it, he needed him. Needing Eddie to love him, thats debatable but needing for Eddie to be around him, he knew he really did need it. He hoped maybe Eddie needed him too. “You save yourself, I'll save you too next time around,” he sang. When Eddie smiled up at him he didn’t know if he could breathe. It was never like this with Connor. With Connor he always wondered who the woman that left their apartment was, with Connor, he always got shouted at and argued with. With Eddie, he smiled, his heart raced, his stomach churned and it was never like it was with Connor. “I'm not around, I haven't been here for a while,” he sang, the electric feeling coursing through his veins.

“You know I'll never be back now,” He shouldn’t break his own heart. Connor’s gone. He’s not coming back, and Richie’s thankful for that. With Connor gone, maybe someone else will stay. Maybe Eddie will. Richie smiled at the thought of it.

He ignored the nagging feeling of possibly not being loved back— again.

[myraelvira]

Jackie Fox and Kim Fowley

Kim Fowley was born as Kim Vincent Fowley on July 21st, 1939. He is most notably known for having been in the music scene and managing the all girl group ‘The Runaways’ in the late 70’s. He has been described as ‘one of the most colorful characters in the annals of Rock and Roll”. In interviews of him, he always portrayed himself as a sort of avante garde artist, in some ways, like a “thinker” that was different from other people.

His musical career started in 1957 when he was released from the hospital for having had polio where he went on to manage a local band called the Sleepwalkers. This band had Sandy Nelson and sometimes Phil Spector. According to himself, he worked in the sex industry in Los Angeles in the late 50’s.

His first record as a producer was ‘Charge’ by the Renegades. He promoted records for Skip and Flip, a music duo. In the 60’s, he recorded the song ‘Alley Oop’ which was number one on the charts in 1960. In 1961 he co-produced the instrumental, “Like, Long Hair”, which became a number 38 hit for the band Paul Revere and the Raiders. He even worked with Frank Zappa as ‘hypephone’ on the album ‘Freak Out’. These are just some of musical credits that he worked on.

Jackie Fox, was born Jacqueline Louise Fuchs on December 20th, 1959. By the time she was born, Kim had already began working in the music industry with people like Alan Freed and Berry Gordy.

In 1974, Kim put an ad in the local fanzine ‘Who Put The Bomp’ looking for female performers. He had hoped to form an all female group that he could produce for but no-one responded. In 1975, he met Joan Jett who had expressed her interest in forming a band. Not long after, he met Sandy West, who also wanted to start a band and soon she was practicing with Joan Jett. Eventually he gathered the other members who would be become the runaways, all in their teens at the time. Jackie was the last member recruited. Initially rejected for guitar, Jackie was recruited for bass.

Kim Fowley was never known to be a clean cut guy. As quoted in the book, “Queens of Noise: The Real Story of the Runaways”, he stated:

“favorite sport then was squatting on a table and fucking as hard as you could when the beer and ’ludes hit, and then you would fall to the floor and roll around and come that way. That was the orgasm of choice in the ’70s for me.” Allegedly, he would admit to anyone that he was after teenage girls, quote, “young cunt” or “dirty pussy”.

In the June 1975 edition of ‘Backdoor Man’ he put an ad out looking for the perfect woman. An excerpt:

“I demand a blonde, blue-eyed Sex-dog; a modern Bridgitte Bardot with no sagged out tits or stretch marks. Brown hair with brown eyes tolerated only if it is massively titted with biker mama vibes. Surf stink is most appealing.”

The ad had no responses.

A close friend of Fowley’s, Steve Tetcsch, stated that they used to drive to high schools looking for teenage girls to hit on. “Westlake was a gold mine because these girls came from wealthy families. We’d all be arrested today.”.

A theme of Fowley associating women with dogs seemed to be a theme for him. The ad he placed cried for a ‘sex-dog’, the apartment he stayed at was called the Dog Palace, and according to quotes from Cherie Currie in the ‘Edgeplay’ documentary, there would be many times he would refer to the girls as dogs when they did something he didn’t like.

Months before Jackie Fox joined the Runaways, the band and another girl, Kary Krome (a 13 year old aspiring songwriter he met) were staying at the apartment known as the Dog Palace. According to Kari, when everyone fell asleep Fowley walked into the living room and shook her awake. He put a finger to her lips so she didn’t make any sound, and grabbed her by the ankle to the bedroom. Kari asked Fowley what was happening, and he allegedly said something along the lines of, “It’s time for dog worship”, and that if she didn’t give in to his demands, she have to go back to her parents in Long Beach. Even though Kari wanted to leave, and call someone for a ride, she didn’t have anywhere to go, and even worse, her family didn’t have a phone. On that night, Kim Fowley masturbated on her.

Kari said that he went to sexually assault her several other times.  “In his mind, he thought that he was having a relationship with me, like a romantic relationship. He didn’t care what I thought about it. He just decided.”

Later in 1975, the Runaways played a New Years Eve show at Wild Man Sam’s. The owner of the venue, Jim Caron, remembered feeling uneasy about how young they were. After the final set Fowley took the girls to a motel near a club where they were celebrating. Soon after arriving, a roadie approached her with a Quaalude, telling her that she needed to take it, no questions asked, to which she did. There were witnesses that heard of her being given four-six pills that night. Most of the people at the party were teens.

There are differing stories as to whether Joan Jett was really there that night. According to one story, Joan played guitar with another person at the party. Undeniably, Lita Ford was not there, which many witnesses have corroborated. Joan has denied ever being at the party.

At one point, Jackie needed to lay down, as she was having trouble staying up. A roadie checked on her and Kim Fowley asked him if he was interested in having sex with her. Fowley said, “She doesn’t mind, do you?”. Unable to say no, Jackie was in terror that someone was about to have their way with her. She said that she looked at the roadie and tried make a pleading face as hard as she could, to convey that she was trying to say no. Thankfully, the roadie denied the offer. From this point on, she started to slip in and out of consciousness.

From there, though it is unsure how much longer after, Fowley stood over Jackie and began to unbutton her blouse, which did not have a bra. One person stated that everyone was trying to pretend that didn’t know what was going on. As the story goes, Fowley unbuttoned Jackie’s pants and penetrated her with the handle of hairbrush. He then invited other guys to have sex with Jackie doing so himself. Someone shouted, “Kim’s fucking someone!”. As Kim raped Jackie, he gnashed his teeth and growled liked a dog.

Jackie stated that she remembered opening her eyes, and Kim was raping her with people watching her. According to Jackie, she looked from the bed and noticed Cherie Currie and Joan Jett staring at her (some stories allege they were snickering).It was the last memory of the night she had.

Cherie stated that she spoke up and stormed out of the room, and all the witnesses felt intimidated.

Jackie didn't tell her parents what had happened to her.

After the assault, Jackie’s place in the band never felt the same. The next day, she showed up for practice and everyone was silent. The girls were all teenagers, and didn’t even know how to deal with what had happened.

From there, Jackie started to develop a mistrust for most other people. She refused to sleep on car rides during tour, she stayed sober. She tried to read and approve contracts for live shows. Some of the band members thought of her as a charity case, since they felt she was a novice bass player. In retrospect, Cherie Currie suspected that Kim Fowley was trying to pit the girls against each other. In 1977, Jackie had had enough, and was going to quit, when Joan got on her knees and begged her to stay. Not long after, they had their famous tour in Japan, where they were huge.

The final straw for her was when her treasured 1600 dollar 1965 Gibson Thunderbird fell off it’s stand and broke. In her room, she broke down and threw a coke bottle into pieces. She took a shard and ran it down her forearm. Cherie Currie helped her to the hospital where she got bandaged up. It was at that point, Jackie had had enough and asked to go home. She quit the band and was later replaced by Vickie Blue. Vickie stated that the other band members would often joke about Kim “fucking Jackie like a dog”. Apparently it was a running joke.

For years, Jackie was quiet about what had happened to her. There had been rumors for years that Kim Fowley had raped an underage girl at a new years eve party in 1975. Cherie Currie also wrote about it in her book, “Neon Angel: A Memoir of a Runaway”. In the chapter, “Kim Fowley’s Sex Education Class,” Jackie was mentioned as a bystander, asking for more food after witnessing the rape. Jackie threatened legal action though, because the event Cherie wrote never happened, so Jackie was excluded from the chapter.

For years, Fowley denied that he raped her. In January of 2015, he died of bladder cancer. In July of 2015, Jackie made it publicly known that he raped her. Despite the time frame making it seem like she only wanted to come out after his death, in reality, Jackie had been trying to confront Fowley for years for what he did to her. In the few times that she could get a phone call with him, he’d first ask if she was taping the call. When he was at the end of his life, he didn’t respond to her emails, and the number she had for him ended up disconnected.

All Jackie wanted was an acknowledgment that what he did was wrong, and an apology.

In the end, Jackie came out on top. She went to college and even had some classes with Barack Obama. She became a lawyer. She knew, that Kim Fowley died without being forgiven.

[SOURCES]

wikipedia

Edgeplay

https://highline.huffingtonpost.com/articles/en/the-lost-girls/

https://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/rock/6627217/runaways-jackie-fox-rape-kim-fowley-joan-jett-fuchs-interview

https://myspace.com/jackiefuchs

[bonscottintheimpala]

Oneshot request Jimmy gets fingery under table or in a limo! Reader trying in vein to stifle sounds about to escape her lips😈 I got this idea watching how smoothly his finger moves and how gorgeous they are 😂

My thoughts 24/7 are his fingers and how skilled they are....

- Take It Down -

(word count: 774) EXPLICIT

-

“Good evening, New York! God, we've been going at it hard. Jimmy looks exhausted,” Robert laughs, “but we all know that he's ready for anything after this.”

You grin to yourself, watching from just offstage and know that it's a hundred percent true. You're sure that Jimmy playing as hard as he can probably didn't make him tired; it probably only gave him more energy. Which obviously makes you excited with the idea of what might come afterwards as a result of that pent up energy.

And just the way he looks at that moment turns you on. For some reason, him being drenched with sweat that makes his hair stick to his face is the sexiest thing you've seen in public. It never fails to drive your body absolutely wild.

You wait with very little patience for the unexpected encore to end, notice how much Jimmy looks over at you while he's playing with eyes that seem to burn from the same anticipation that’s surging through you with every paying minute. There’s one point during a solo where he hits an extreme high note, thrusts his hips into his guitar, and gives you the look that sends you over the edge; pursed lips, partly closed eyes. Pure sex appeal that you know makes every person in love with him in the audience go insane.

When the encore of “Communication Breakdown” finally ends and Robert gives his customary thank you to the crowd, Jimmy doesn’t take any time at all to go over to you. He grabs you by the waist, pulling you to his body as he kisses you hard enough you’re almost breathless.

You wrap your arms around his neck and let him bring your closer, enough you can tell he’s definitely hard. It sends shivers through your body knowing how turned on his playing and the resulting building of energy made him, and it only encourages him to bite at your lower lip and kiss you harder. He breaks away and mumbles, “We're going back to the hotel. You are going to get in my car. You know we all go separately.”

You nod and hold Jimmy's hand as he leads you out of the backstage area to the area where there are four limos lined up. Each member of the band settles into their own vehicle, and the second the door to Jimmy's is closed behind him, he’s back to being all over you. You whine against his lips, motioning to the single pane of glass between the two of you and the driver. “What if he hears?”

Jimmy gives you a smirk that makes your head go light. “You'll just have to be quiet, then. We don't want him to know that I'm getting you off, do we?”

“That’s impossible and you know it.”

“And you know that I won’t take that as an excuse, (Y/N).”

You don’t move as Jimmy sits up and starts to unzip your jeans, pulling them down just enough he can slip his hand into your underwear. You lift your hips up to get his fingers to press harder on your clit, sending shivers through your body from your legs up. He smiles against your neck as he strokes you.

“You're wet, love. It's crazy, I didn't know you got this turned on by me.”

You tilt your head back, giving him more skin to pay attention to. “I've been wet since I saw you absolutely drenched with sweat. I couldn't help thinking about your fingers, Jimmy, watching them go so fast. I was literally pulsing just seeing it.”

Jimmy teases at your entrance, drawing light moans from your mouth. “I'm happy to hear that, love. I bet it'll be so easy to just….” He slowly shifts his hand so he’s almost inside, “get right in.”

Your gasp is muffled by his free hand covering your mouth as he slides two fingers into you, moving them in a way that radiates a wave of shock out into your stomach. You thrust against his hand as he starts to pump his fingers back and forth, sucking your neck and above your pulse to the point you feel like you’ll almost explode from how much you’re feeling. Just when you're about to come, he stops, making you whine.

“Let's save that for when we're in the hotel,” he purs into your ear, ”You can be as loud as you want to there.”

You groan, swearing just a bit too loudly. “You're fucking evil.”

Jimmy grins and removes his hand from your underwear, licking you from his fingers. “I know, (Y/N). And you love it.”

[kyosohmastan]

My intention was to share this before the end of the year so here we are at the last minute. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Here’s my top 5 favorite anime I saw in 2019 in order from least to most fav.

5. Given

Somehow, the guitar that he used to love to play and the basketball games that he found so fun just lost their appeal... That was until Ritsuka Uenoyama randomly met Mafuyu Sato. Ritsuka had started losing his passion for music in his everyday life, but then he hears Mafuyu sing for the first time. The song resonates with his heart and the distance between them starts to change.

After getting so many requests to watch this one, I gave in, and I’m glad I did. It was my first Shonen-Ai as well. My favorite thing about this show was watching Mafayu and Uneyama gradually bond. As a music fanatic, this series was really pleasing to watch, and the music was excellent. Looking forward to the movie in 2020!

4. Kono Oto Tomare!

Since the graduation of the senior members of the club, Takezou ends up being the sole member of the "Koto" (traditional Japanese string instrument) club. Now that the new school year has begun, Takezou will have to seek out new members into the club, or the club will become terminated. Out of nowhere, a new member barges into the near-abandoned club room, demanding to join the club. How will Takezou be able to keep his club alive and deal with this rascal of a new member?

Both seasons were so good! I love Chika soley because he’s adorable, and his story makes me bawl (not kidding). The romances they are being set up have been executed flawlessly so far. If there’s a season 3 (and there better be) I can’t wait for them to develope further. This is another one about music, and it touches on an instrument I hadn’t even heard about before watching this. Now I want to get a koto for myself. 🎶

3. My Roomate is a Cat

The story of Mikazuki Subaru, a novelist who is shy and struggles in relationships with other people, and a cat who was dumped by humans and lived a tough life on the streets. Through a twist of fate, the two of them end up living together. This heartwarming tale illustrates day-to-day life through the eyes of both man and cat. These moments seem trivial, but as they build upon themselves, the two become family and find happiness in their life together.

My two favorite things combined: anime and cats. This one was made for me. I smiled throughout the majority of this show. And when I wasn’t smiling, I was crying, both out of joy and sorrow. And I don’t think I’ve ever cried during a show because I found it so adorable, I couldn’t stand it! The bond that Subaru and his cat, Haru, develop is heartwarming. I got really emotional during this one because it reminded me of the bond I had with my cat who passed away some years ago. There’s nothing like a friendship with a cat. They can be so loyal. Check this out if you want to be showered with adorablness!

2. My Hero Academia

Izuku has dreamt of being a hero all his life—a lofty goal for anyone, but especially challenging for a kid with no superpowers. That’s right, in a world where eighty percent of the population has some kind of super-powered “quirk,” Izuku was unlucky enough to be born completely normal. But that’s not enough to stop him from enrolling in one of the world’s most prestigious hero academies.

I jumped on the hype-train for this one this year. I gotta thank my viewers on YouTube for introducing me to this because I’m in love with it! And I didn’t expect that because shounen isn’t my first choice ever, but this show really surprised me. I think the reason I click with it is because it has a lot of character-driven moments whereas shounen tends to be more plot-driven, and I prefer shows and books that focus solely on character development. This show has a huge cast of characters, and I appreciate how all of them are often fleshed out. I love Izuku and his drive to become the world’s greatest hero. He has so much ambition that it’s admirable. In the three seasons that I’ve seen so far, he’s gotten stronger tremendously both physically and mentally. Seeing his growth has been a joy. I also love Bakugou and frog girl Froppy because she’s a PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL.

1. Fruits Basket (2019)

Tohru Honda thought her life was headed for misfortune when a family tragedy left her living in a tent. When her small home is discovered by the mysterious Soma clan, she suddenly finds herself living with Yuki, Kyo, and Shigure Soma. But she quickly learns their family has a bizarre secret of their own: when hugged by the opposite sex, they turn into the animals of the Zodiac!

You saw this coming if you know me. I’m probably biased because this series is my obsession and my world, but I can’t help it! It’s still unreal that we’re getting a full manga adaptation. 😭 The first season was amazing to the gorgeous animation and the accurate manga adaptation. The first season is more so a setup for things to come. However, that only makes it so we get the necessary plot and character setup out of the way so that the plot progression in season 2 will be consistent so I don’t mind it too much. I can’t wait for what’s to come next season, especially regarding a certain couple. ❤️