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characterxreader · 7 years ago

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Bucharest Chapter XI

Summary: After a run-in with the Romanian Mafia, a stranger provides you with protection.

Pairing: BuckyxReader

Word Count: 1,876

Warnings: Mentions of the nightmares, a little but of troubled past

You and Bucky continued playing card games for hours. Throughout the set time Bucky delved into his history--what he could remember, that is. He talked to you about the journals he wrote in whenever he remembered something.

“So, what kind of stuff do you remember?”

“It’s coming back every now and again, but it mostly has to do with, uh...” “Captain America?”

“Steve? Yeah. I went to a museum a while back for some answers. Apparently, we were close to each other.”

“Seems like. It’s that one that’s in New York, right?” “Yeah.” Bucky shuffled the cards, which you taught him to do not long before that.

You glanced out the window, and light started to appear. “Well, it’s the morning.” He smiled, staring at you as you gazed out the window. “Yeah. Beautiful.”

You hummed, turning your sights to the Winter Soldier. “So, when do we begin training?”

“Don’t you want to sleep?” he suggested, a grin spreading across his lips. “You literally stayed up the entire night with me.” “Nah, I’m good for now.” You stood up, pain shooting up your legs. It was only then you realized you had not used your legs in about eight hours. “You want some coffee? I’m gonna make some coffee.”

“Sure. I’ll clean up all of this.”

You waddled to the kitchen, lifting one leg at a time and shaking it violently. The tingling worsened. You pulled the coffee maker away from the wall, pouring in the proper amount of scoops and the right amount of water. Your fingers tapped against the counter, and you stared at the coffee maker as the black magic poured into the pot.

The super soldier’s arms slipped around your waist as he pulled you into his chest. You could feel his heartbeat, and you wondered if he could feel yours pounding against his back. “The coffee smells really good,” you told him.

“Your hair smells good,” he murmured in return. Your breath was caught in the back of your throat, and you grinned. An immense pool of warmth filled your stomach as you poured the coffee into two cups. “I’ll take mine black, doll.”

“If you say so.” You poured cream and sugar into your mug, stirring it up with a spoon. You grabbed his cup and turned around carefully so not to spill the coffee. “Here you go.”

You found yourself wedged between Bucky and the counter, and you did not mind it one bit. He smiled genuinely, taking the coffee cup into both of his grasps. Both of his hands grazed your hand as you let go of the mug. “Thanks, doll.” “Don’t mention it.” You smiled into your mug before taking a sip of your coffee. Bucky took a step back, setting his coffee on the counter. He leaned to the right, the side which the counter rounded and stretched to, as he kept his sights on you. “What’s on your mind, Buck?” The corner of his lips turned upward at the nickname. “Just thinking about how today’s gonna go. We need to get you new clothes and I need to get mine washed, then we got the training and stuff, right?” “Right,” you agreed. “How about we head out after breakfast? I’ll slip on what I had yesterday.” “I’ll lend you a hoodie so you can blend in better.”

You disagreed with his reason for lending you his hoodie but kept it to yourself. “That works for me. I will go ahead and get changed, then.”

“I’ll make some breakfast real quick.” You sipped your coffee, heading toward your bag before Bucky stopped you. “Oh, yeah, and you can shower if you want. Forgot to mention that earlier.”

You rolled your eyes, grinning as you grabbed your clothes and walked to the bathroom. It was not going to take you long to be ready for the day, so you decided on the shower.

In the kitchen, Bucky prepared some of the fruit the two of you bought at the vendor yesterday. Additionally, he prepped eggs and bacon. He turned to the bathroom door, smiling shyly to himself, and then returned to flipping the eggs. He didn’t even know how you liked them, but his goal was to learn about more than the way you liked eggs for future reference.

Future was a funny word for him. To describe your relationship. For the first time in what seemed to be forever, life had the stability he needed. You were the stability. When talking about the “Winter Soldier” you were unfazed. In fact, you wanted to stick by his side and fight his ghosts with him.

If only he could remember what those ghosts were.

Bucky heard the shower shut off as he slid the eggs and bacon onto two plates. The cut fruit splayed across a third plate.

He felt sympathy for your situation. You were forced into a world full of hurt, pain, and destruction. Until all matters concerning this situation with the mafia were over, you wouldn’t be able to rest. Yes, your new abilities may have caused you excitement enough to keep you up at night, but Bucky knew that what he told you about HYDRA and the mafia was at least in the back of your mind. Until they were out of the picture, you would not rest.

The soldier thought long and hard about this information until he fell asleep last night. He swore to himself not to tell you, but the dream. The Nightmare. It wasn’t about his experiences in HYDRA.

It was about you. He closed his eyes, the pictures of you calling him for help whilst HYDRA guards held him back vivid in his mind. Bucky shivered. He knew it wasn’t real, but something about it made it seem like foretaste for the future. What if it came to a point where Bucky couldn’t protect you?

He promised himself that wouldn’t happen.

As you left the bathroom, the smells of the kitchen hit you. Heaven is real, you thought, staring at the food Bucky set up for the two of you. He turned to look at you, then gestured for you to come to the table. “It’s ready.”

“Thank goodness.” You held your stomach to emphasize your hunger. Bucky rolled his eyes, sitting on the couch with his food. You grabbed your breakfast, snatching several pieces of fruit in the process.

Outside, the music of the festival began playing. On the streets were dancers and musicians for entertainment. Jugglers, clowns, and magicians walked around with balloons and bowling pins and handkerchiefs. From the window, you heard people shouting and children laughing and squealing with joy.

“You know, Bucky,” you said, setting down your empty plate beside you on the couch, “I don’t really miss normal life like a thought it would.” Bucky took your plate, standing and briskly walking to the sink. “Doll, it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. Give it time, and soon enough you’ll be wanting to see your family again.”

You pursed your lips, then shrugged. “Didn’t really have one to start off with.” Bucky’s muscles tensed as he set the plate into the sink. You never really talked about your family. At least, not in the little bit of time he got to know you. Maybe he should leave it for now.

Nah. “Really? I took you as a family kind of gal.”

“To be honest, I wish I was.” A lazy smile crossed your lips as your legs crossed on the couch. You took over the seating before Bucky could come back. “Or at least I used to want it.”

“So,” Bucky said, walking to the couch, “what about your parents?” He moved your legs so he could sit, your calves landing on his lap instead.

A frown settled on your face. You seemed focused, and Bucky inspected your facial features. “I never got to meet them. Apparently, they died when I was younger. Instead, I was adopted, but I think the family wanted nothing to do with me. The parents only wanted an adopted kid because it made them look good.”

Bucky squeezed your leg gently. “I’m sorry.”

You shook your head, smiling the sadness away. “It’s okay. As soon as I graduated high school I became my own person with goals and aspirations. Never had to talk to those people again, so good riddance.”

The both of you chuckle quietly to yourselves. Bucky’s metal hand remained on your leg, and you didn’t mind one bit. He bit his lip, staring at the floor before meeting your eyes. “Hey, we should probably go and run the errands. I would rather do it before it gets overly crowded with Dalca’s men.” “Sounds good to me, Buck.”

New clothes in your bag, you walked alongside Bucky through the flood of people. As you continued to bump into strangers and the sort, you slipped your hand into Bucky’s left. The metal cooled your hand, and he squeezed gently. You licked your lips, searching through the crowd.

Your hood fell off not long beforehand, but Bucky also provided you with a hat. Both of his clothing items smelled like him. You could not place the smell, but you knew it smelled good. Like him.

Someone rammed into your side, mumbling a quick apology. You turned your head in reaction, catching eye contact with the tall, strong-looking man. Eyes widening, you looked back at Bucky, who kept his eyes forward.

The bruises on the man’s face correlated with Bucky’s metal fist. It was difficult to forget one of Dalca’s bodyguard’s faces. But the important thing was: did he recognize you.

“Bucky, that was...”

“I know,” he whispered loud enough for only you to hear. It was not difficult, seeing as everyone was talking with another person anyway. “We gotta go.” You slipped through the crowd, disappearing from Dalca’s man instantaneously. You breathed heavy, adrenaline pumping through your veins. You weren’t even sure if he saw your face.

Unfortunately, Bucky insisted on acting like he did. And he was right to do so.

Men in well-tailored suits swarmed the streets, their fingers pressed into the ears as they both. Comms. They knew you were out here.

“C’mon, let’s go through here.” You followed Bucky down an empty alley. At the end of it, Bucky opened a door, pushing you inside once he was men walking down into the alley. He jumped inside with you, shutting the door and waiting for the men.

You leaned against the wall of the small closet. Looking around with light coming through the door cracks you noticed brooms and buckets. Not that it would do much for an outdoor alley.

Bucky remained silent, his body pressed against the door. Centimeters between the two of you were all that was left in space. Whenever you shifted, your body grazed his.

“I think we’re going to have to wait a little while. Two men are at the end of the street.”

You groaned inwardly, your head resting against the wall of the closet-like room. Bucky looked down at you, frowning and shrugging in response.

It was not what you had in mind as personal time with Bucky, but for the meantime, you supposed it would do.

Tags: @disneychic8

#Bucky #Bucky Barnes #BuckyxReader #Bucky/Reader #Bucky x Reader #Bucky Barnes x Reader #Bucky Barnes/Reader #Bucky BarnesxReader #Winter Soldier #winter soldier/reader #winter soldier x reader #winter soldierxreader

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lazyangeltreemoney · 3 years ago

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Sunday is a Family Day

Oneshot Bodyguard AU

Description: You’re stubborn, annoying and hot as hell which seems to be an awful combo to mix with Bucky Barnes. However one day he realises he got you all wrong and now there’s a little kid in the mix that needs both of your help.

Pairing: Bodyguard!Bucky x Rockstar!Reader

Word count: 7648

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, violence, blood, implied sex (no smut), enemies to lovers, child neglect, swearing, smoking, addiction.

A/N: really tried to keep this gender neutral, all the pronouns for the reader are they/them which is kind of important to me considering I recently came out as nonbinary. This one is pretty angsty. Sorry for the shitty description, hope you enjoy. P.S may do some more parts to this one. Also the gif is not mine.

Staring at your mother’s grave funnily enough wasn’t a pleasant experience. Funnily enough her death didn’t bring you anymore pain, but it did make the old pains ache a little more. Why did I think this would be a good idea? Stupid Barnes getting in my head.

“Why do you alway take Sundays off?” You asked him as he started getting dressed

It was almost cliche, sleeping with your bodyguard who could hardly stand you but it was easy. Certainly easier than committing to something real and besides it probably helped Barnes' job that he knew you on an intimate level. At least then even if you did piss him off he would have some reason to actually care about your safety, it would be a pain in the ass for him to find someone who fucked him as well as you did.

Either way, usually after fucking you and Barnes didn’t really talk. You figured it was probably because part of him didn’t want to acknowledge what had just happened, with him usually being so professional, but you were curious. The only day off he ever had was Sundays, on those days Steve would keep an eye on you instead.

“Sundays… are a family day, I spend every Sunday at my parents house for dinner.” He explained carefully, as if he’d revealed he’s deepest secret.

“Wow, who knew that deep down you were so rock and roll.” You snorted, he always was so serious.

Barnes clearly didn’t like your response.

“Family is all I have, but I get how you wouldn’t understand that.” He responded coldly and went back to finishing getting dressed in silence before leaving.

You rolled your eyes at him. Of course you didn’t see the appeal in ‘family dinners’ the only family dinners you could remember you’d much rather forget. Barnes had labelled you from the get go as a ‘spoiled brat and loose cannon that just so happened to be a mediocre musician’. He’d never heard you mention any family, he just assumed you’d either cut them off or they’d cut you off.

You tried to think no more of Barnes' comments but come Sunday your mind just kept wondering. You glanced at the clock while you practised on the guitar, it read 12:01pm. About lunch time, are they just sitting down? Is Barnes carving the turkey? Are there little kids screaming and refusing to eat their vegetables? Is he laughing? Does he feel loved? Your head went on and on asking all those questions but then it got worse.

You began picturing Barnes taking you to one of those family dinners he talked about. How he’d drive you out into the suburbs, his hand on your thigh the whole ride to help your nerves. How he’d introduce you to his mother and how you’d help her cook. Maybe sneak a whiskey with his Dad and bond over telling stupid stories about Bucky Barnes. Of course Bucky would never do that, you were a convenient fuck and nothing more. But either way, your head was beginning to see ‘family’. Maybe Sundays should be a family day.

So here you were now, stood in front of pretty much the only family you had left. You kept rereading the words marked on her grave.

Catherine L/N, Beloved Friend and Loving Mother, you will be missed.

And your heart ached at the fact that nearly every word on it was a lie. Not even the cold autumn air brought you comfort as your arm began to heat up, a dull ache from the memory of the type of woman she really was.

You could see that the grave was crumbling slightly, it had been almost six years since she passed. Moss and weeds were beginning to take over the patch of land. She didn’t deserve any kindness from you, not even now. She was the reason you kept people at arm's length, the reason why ‘love’ would always be such an alien concept to you. However you couldn’t stop your hands from beginning to pull away at the weeds or try to scrape off the moss. She always wanted to look pretty. It was her no. 1 priority, you were certain you were no.50 or so.

Maybe it was the fact that you had spent most of the afternoon daydreaming about Barnes' probably perfect family, but this certain visit to the grave made you feel shitter than you had done in a long while. So much that you wanted to try and find the nearest bar as you headed out of the graveyard. Screw all the promises you’d made to yourself, to Tony, to even Barnes on occasion, sometimes the genes just run too hard to deny.

However the second you pushed open the door to the bar you were reminded of the last person you’d ever made a promise to. You remembered their adorable little face and button nose. Could I really do this to her as well?

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Monday came around, you’d successfully convinced yourself not to go on a bender but the headache in your head felt like you’d gone on one anyway. Barnes was waiting for you outside by your car. You knew the second he saw you he would be cold and grumpy while listing off your schedule for that day. However there was something more important than any meeting or recording sessions that needed to be done today.

You meet Barnes outside and as you’d predicted he instantly started listing off the hundreds of things you were supposed to get done today. He was talking to you in his ‘no arguments voice’, mainly because over the years he’d seen how much of a pain in the ass you could be first hand. Always wanting to negotiate your way out of some meeting or wanting or missing an annoying interview.

“And then you’re going to Radio 1 headquarters to give an interview,” Bucky continued on.

“Barnes, there’s something else I need to do today-” You tried to begin, He ignored you and continued listing, “At the interview Stark told me that you need to mention the upcoming tour-”

“Barnes I’m serious, I’m not just slacking off for once-”

“Yeah right,” He scoffed.

“Bucky please… this is a family thing.” You finally admitted hanging your head.

You never called him Bucky, he insisted it was a name only his friends or family got to call him, which you were neither. Bucky watched you carefully, he hadn’t even started arguing with you but you already looked almost defeated. He could even see under the makeup that you looked tired, they’d been up all last night. But it was more than just defeat in their eyes, they looked scared, almost remorseful. This wasn’t the Y/N he knew, his Y/N would be energetic, demanding and never vulnerable.

Bucky sighed before reaching towards the sat nav.

“Where to?”

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About an hour's drive later they’d reached a house just on the edge of the suburbs. At a first glance it seemed nice enough, white fence, brick house, hedges in the garden; but Bucky was trained to look past a first glance. The grass and hedges were clearly over growing along with ivy around the house. The windows hadn’t been cleaned in a while along with the gutter being clogged up.

The car on the drive was flashy but it was messy. There was a cigarette tray on the dashboard and fast food containers littered inside. The most damning sign to Bucky was that all the curtains and blinds in the house had been drawn closed even though it was mid morning. However he found himself glancing over to Y/N, trying to gauge their reaction.

Y/N felt sick to their stomach. This wasn’t how this place was supposed to look, there was meant to be swings or slides in the garden. At least a carseat in the car or flowers in the garden.

Surely this isn’t where they put Claire? You’d spent all of last night trying to research where social services had placed your half sister. You’d told yourself you were doing the right thing when a detective appeared at your doorstep holding her. She’d already had one L/N fucking up her childhood when she was barely four, she didn’t need another, you told yourself. But it was beginning to look like you’d done that anyway.

You took a shaky breath and headed towards the front door. You gave it a good hard knock only for the door to fall open. It made an eerie creaking noise as it swung open.

Before Bucky could object, Y/N marched in only to reveal more of her worst fears. There were empty liquor bottles that littered the floor. The house stunk of smoke and other unpleasant aromas.

Y/N continued through the house and found the garden. It was as unkempt as the rest of the house but Y/N did find one perfect thing in it… Claire. She was a lot older than when you’d last seen her, probably around 10 now, but you’d know that face anywhere. To your surprise she recognised you. She’d looked up from playing with her dolls and saw you standing on the edge of the garden. Her little legs seemed to not be able to get up fast enough as she practically launched herself at you.

“Y/N!” She called happily and wrapped her arms around your legs.

Bucky watched the scene and was beyond confused. Who the hell was this kid? Was she Y/N’s? How could a kid be left alone in a place like this?

“I knew you’d come soon,” Claire announced happily as she hugged your legs tighter.

You looked down at Claire and wanted to earth to swallow you whole, you wanted Satan himself to stab you in the heart and torture you forever. It was all the conformation you needed, I’m truly the worst person alive. However you could berate yourself later, right now you had to be strong for Claire. You kneeled down to her level.

“Claire, are your parents home?” You asked.

Claire shook her head.

Great, just great, those monsters left her alone.

“Okay, well then you’re coming with us, okay, it’ll be like a holiday.” You tried to explain to her.

Bucky’s eyes went wide. You couldn’t surely be suggesting kidnapping? This was insane and illegal. However it was clear you deeply cared for this little girl, it did make sense that you would want to take her away from this place. As he tried to think of some way to do this without being arrested, he saw something that broke his heart.

Y/N rolled up the sleeves on Claires shirt, he could recognise those marks from anywhere, cigarette burns on her arm, along with ugly yellow bruises. He could see the look in Y/N’s eyes, it was like nothing he’d ever seen before. It was a pure rage that she was clearly trying to hide only for Claire’s sake.

You grabbed Claire's hand and started to lead her out of the house when the front door opened. It revealed who you recognised to be Claires “parents”. From the pictures they looked like a perfectly average couple, but they looked nothing like they did in the photos now. Both you and Bucky could smell the booze off them from the second they opened the door. Of course they took notice of you holding Claire's hand and Bucky standing next to you.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?” The ‘’Dad’ yelled.

“I’m here making sure Claire never see’s either of you despicable people again.” You spat at both of them.

“YOU’RE NOT TAKING HER ANYWHERE.” The ‘mother’ screamed pathetically.

“Oh yes I am, because I can clearly see where all the money I sent you to spend on her is really going, so unless you have some pretty good lawyers I’d shut up and let us leave.” You threatened, you had more than enough evidence to get their custody taken away.

However, that seemed to be the final straw. Before you could do anything the father lunged towards you with his fist. Lucky for you, Barnes was a damn good bodyguard and had been itching for a reason to punch this guy.

He quickly stood in front of you and blocked the ‘dad’s’ fist, before throwing a solid punch of his own. One that landed the ‘dad’ straight onto his backside.

“I’ve got half a mind to break that hand of yours clean off so that you’ll never be able to raise it to someone ever again… the only reason I’m not is that I’m certain that KID has been exposed to enough violence.” Bucky threatens darkly.

After that the ‘mother’ quickly became a quivering wreck. Bucky nodded contently that she wouldn’t try anything and grabbed your hand to lead you and Claire back to the car. It was weird, Bucky had grabbed your hand numerous times, leading you away from the press, to an event and had saved you from danger more times than you could count, but this felt different.

You’d placed Claire in the back seat of the car while you sat in the front with Bucky. As he drove, he glanced into the rearview window, Claire was fast asleep. Now seemed like a good enough time to finally ask some questions about what the hell just happened.

You were a wreck as Bucky drove back into New York. Everything you tried to do to keep her safe, to try and keep her away from you because you were so certain that you would fuck her up in some way just like your mother had done to you. All of it was for nothing, whether you were there or not, you still managed to screw up her life.

Bucky pulled you out of your thoughts however.

“Mind telling what happened back there, mainly so I have something to tell Stark so I can hopefully keep my job?” Bucky asked.

“Claire is my half sister,” You began with a sigh, “six years ago my mother died and seeing as I was the only family the police could track down, Claire was placed into my care… However I was a wreck, I still am. I told myself the best thing for Claire was if she could forget about the family she came from… so I got Tony to take over, to find her a good home. I would send letters and money… but then you got in my head and for once I’m glad you did.”

Bucky was suddenly reminded of the conversation he’d had with Y/N after they’d… well you know.

“And don’t worry about Tony firing you, the second I see him I think I’m going to kill him.” Y/N stated flatly.

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Bucky saw first hand that you meant it. When you arrived back at your apartment they all saw Tony pacing in your living room looking pissed off, but it was nothing compared to the sheer rage you had inside you.

Tony stopped pacing and looked up at the three of you when he heard the front door open. Instantly he went charging towards Y/N and Bucky was worried he’d have to punch someone to save Y/N for the second time today.

“Where the hell have you been huh? Do you know how many phone calls I’ve had to make to save your career in one afternoon-” He stopped suddenly when he saw the young girl hiding behind your legs, “is that Claire?” he asked in a much calmer and almost scared tone.

“Yes. It. Is.” Y/N gritted between their teeth, “Barnes, can you take Claire into my bedroom, please.”

Bucky nodded and wordlessly picked up Claire.

The second the door closed behind him he heard a loud whack and knew that he should probably put on some cartoons at full volume.

You’d kept your anger buried down for long enough and it now erupted like pompei. You slapped Tony, hard, harder than you think you’d ever hit another person in your life.

“OW!” Tony yelped as he fell backwards.

“You promised me,” You began quietly and darkly, “you promised me that she would never have to go through any of the shit that I went through and what did I find… CIGARETTE BURNS ON HER FUCKING ARM STARK!”

“Look, it’s not like I vetted the parents myself- social services-” Tony fumbled over his words trying to defend himself.

“I don’t care, I trusted you with the only family I have left… and you’d think that after everything you witnessed with me that social services don’t know shit okay.” You continued to scold.

Tony slowly got on to his feet. It was clear that no matter what he said, you weren’t going to forgive him. So he decided to move onto damage control.

“I’ll contact some lawyers, get you full custody of Claire and I’ll take care of the damage done today.” Tony explained.

“Good,” You huffed, “And then you can tell Pepper that she’s got your job.”

“You don’t mean that.” Tony scoffed but from the look on your face you most certainly did.

Without saying another word you headed towards your bedroom before you felt the urge to slap Tony again. You entered your room to see Bucky had thankfully grabbed some headphones and put them over Claire's ears while she watched some cartoon on your ipad. Bucky had Claire in his lap and his arms wrapped around her. He had his own headphones plugged in and was watching the show as well, almost as animatedly as Claire was.

You watched the scene before you and felt as if you’d had the wind taken out of you. The words Tony said were suddenly taking effect, ‘you’ll have full custody of Claire,’ but you didn’t know anything about kids. Bucky was sitting with her right now and seemed to be hanging out with her so effortlessly, you on the other hand didn’t have a clue how to be around her.

Bucky looked up and noticed you stood by the door. He gestured for you to come over and sit with them. You crawled onto the bed and placed your arms around Claire and snuggled up next to the other side of Bucky. This was a first for you and Bucky, sure you had been intimate before but once the sex he practically jumped off of you, as if he couldn’t get away quick enough. However it somehow felt natural and comfy, like the most comfortable pillow in the universe. Even more to your surprise, he wrapped his free arm around you.

Claire seemed more than happy to have you watching the cartoon with her. She animatedly started listing her favourite characters and all of their powers. You smiled and nodded, wondering how despite everything she went through she was still a happy smiling kid… and not a wreck like you. She quickly became engrossed in another episode which is when Bucky took the opportunity to whisper to you.

“I think we better take her to the hospital, get her arm checked out and the rest of her.” He whispered softly.

You nodded, not having any more strength that day to say anything else. It was probably one of the few times you were happy for him to take charge.

“And we also should talk later… about, well about everything.”

You didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to work out how that conversation would probably go. You figured it would be something like “yeah it’s fun when we fuck but with the kid involed it’s too much and you’re clearly now too much of a mess for me, something about professionalism etc.”

However you weren’t scared about Bucky breaking things off, you had bigger fears inside your head.

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The doctor visit went as expected. The second they saw Claire they wanted to have words with you and Bucky separately and away from Claire. You hated being apart from her but knew that it had to be done. Once you explained the full story to them they were quick to let you back with Claire. They wrapped up her arm, thankfully it didn’t look infected but they still disinfected all of her wounds to be safe.

She sat on Bucky’s lap while you held her hand to comfort her through the stings. She kept squirming and the doctor was clearly getting frustrated that Claire wouldn’t sit still. You’d think that someone who worked with kids would have a bit more patience but clearly not.

“Claire sweetie how about this, if you’re a big brave girl and sit still for the doctor then we can get ice cream on the way home.” You offered.

The words ice cream clearly had an effect on her. Claire took a deep breath and nodded enthusiastically as she stuck out her arm again. The doctor mumbled a quick thankyou and was finally able to disinfect the final wound.

You smiled at Claire and praised her for being ‘the bravest girl in the whole world’. Bucky even ruffled her hair affectionately, which is when you caught him looking at you. He looked at you in a way he’d never looked at you before. Usually he had two expression’s when it came to you, pissed off or lustful, this however was new. It was soft, he was even smiling. No matter what you told yourself, you found yourself smiling back.

You finished up at the hospital. They gave you some stuff so that you could re-wrap Claires arm at home. Barnes drove the three of you to what was, quote, ‘the best ice cream place in the city’. You soon arrived at a diner and found yourself a booth. As you did you heard a few people whispering amongst themselves.

‘Is that really Y/N L/N,’ ‘Don’t be stupid, probably just a look alike,’

‘It looks just like them though’.

You decided to try and pay them no mind, right now you were out with your family. Wait, shit… did I just include Barnes in my ‘family?’. You tried to push that thought to the back of your brain, right now your focus was on spoiling Claire.

A waitress came over and asked you all what you wanted.

“What’s the best ice cream that you guys make?” You asked, nudging Claire slightly.

The waitress could tell that you were obviously trying to hype things up for Claire and joined in.

“Well I think the only ice cream worthy of this little one would have to be our triple banana sundae split,” She winked.

“Well how does that sound Claire?” Bucky asked.

“That one, that one pleaseeeee?” Claire chanted.

The waitress chuckled at Claire's excitement and wrote down the order. She took your and Bucky’s order as well before heading off. Claire was clearly already buzzing with excitement about the ice cream. You figured that back in that house she probably wasn’t spoiled often, if ever, that was going to have to change. Which also reminded you of the hundred of things you’d have to get ready for Claire. Such as her own room, her toys, school stuff, childcare, the list was endless, but you supposed that you had to start somewhere.

“So Claire, what would you like your new room to look like?” You asked.

As nearly all ten year olds do when they’re bubbling with excitement, she practically vomited the words at you. She was a ball of pure energy, animatedly talking and drawing on the back of the menu about her dream bedroom. You planned on following her instructions to a T. However as you tried to listen intently, you noticed Bucky get up and head towards your waitress.

She was clearly giggling at something he’d just said and he handed her a piece of paper. Was he really giving her his number right in front of you? Your head wanted to be rational, Barnes was technically single, he could do what he wanted. But your heart was never good at being rational, it was impulsive and petty and right now as the waitress was laughing with Bucky, it hurt. It hurt in a way that no rationalisations would explain.

Barnes soon came back and sat with you again. You couldn’t help the sour face you had put on, thankfully Claire was too engrossed in drawing her room to notice it.

“What was that about?” you whispered to Bucky.

He glanced at Claire, almost double checking that she was too busy drawing to pay any attention to what she was saying.

“I was just telling the waitress to see if she can have any low sugar ice cream and to put extra fruit in it, I come here a lot with my nieces and nephews, she was laughing because she noticed how I pull the same trick on them.” He explained quietly so Claire wouldn't hear.

“Oh” you muttered, it was all you could say as you dropped the sour face.

“Wait… were you jealous?” Bucky asked with a teasing smile.

“No, of course not,” You defended yourself a little too quickly. But Bucky’s teasing smile didn’t go anywhere. This was very weird to you, usually you were the one doing the teasing and pushing his buttons, not him pushing yours. You rolled your eyes at him and decided to end this conversation.

“So Claire, how’s the bedroom coming along?”

Claire started happily explaining the room to you and Bucky and you both listened happily until she said something that made you nearly choke on the ice cream.

“And I want it next to your guys room,”

“WHAT?!” You immediately coughed, and probably a little too loudly.

“The room I was in earlier, it was yours and Bucky’s right? He’s your boyfriend” Claire asked far too innocently for you to try and find a response. “He knew where everything was and there were some of his clothes on the floor.” She continued on.

Before you wanted the earth to swallow you up out of self hatred, now you wanted it to swallow you up out of embarrassment. What the hell were you meant to say? You didn’t exactly fancy explaining the term ‘fuckbuddy’ to a ten year old. Bucky, however, saved your ass, like he always does.

“Of course it can be near our room, kid, I don’t wanna miss out on any tea parties.” Bucky replied happily, but not without shooting you another one of his teasing smiles. You were quickly realising why he was nearly always pissed off at you now that the show was on the other foot.

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Soon enough the day was drawing to a close and it was Claire’s bedtime. You put her down in the room opposite you. You’d gotten her some toys and books during the day to try and make the room more kid friendly. She was settling down in her pj’s and cuddling a teddy that she’d affectionately named ‘Bucky’, much to your amusement.

“Alright, I think it’s time for bed,” You suggested but she instantly started shaking her head. “Claire, I’ve read you three stories, you’ve had cookies and milk, it’s time for bed.” You tried to insist but that didn’t work either. “Alright, how about this? You can pick one more story for us to read but then you have to go to bed?”

That seemed to spark something inside her. She looked around the room and pointed to a ukulele that was hanging on the wall.

“Could you sing me to sleep? I used to fall asleep listening to you on the radio, usually because my parents were yelling too loud… it was like you were in the room with me.” She asked softly.

How could you ever say no to that?

“I’ll sing you to sleep every night if you want.” You replied with a sad smile and got up to pick up the ukulele.

Bucky was in the kitchen, putting away the cookies and milk you guys had before when he heard the strings of your ukulele being plucked.

“I’m lying on the moon, my dear I’ll be there soon,” your melodic voice began to sing.

It echoed throughout the apartment and Bucky couldn’t help but follow it. He found himself standing just outside of Claire’s bedroom. You were sitting on the end of the bed and singing Claire to sleep. Your voice being the sweetest lullaby he’d ever heard in his life. As you strummed the last chord Claire was softly snoring.

You looked up to see Bucky standing by the door, his mouth was hanging slightly agape. You silently got up and headed towards him, closing the door behind you.

“Who’s mediocre now?” You asked sarcastically and sauntered towards the kitchen.

Bucky watched you go and was reminded of the first time he ever met you. And he suddenly realised how wrong he’d gotten you.

He’d been dragged to your apartment by Steve. To be completely blunt, he was pissed. He’d told Steve that he was done babysitting rich, spoiled brats and yet here he was. After studying your case file, he already figured out that we're probably going to be the worst of them all. Despite all of his complaining, Steve dropped him off in front of your apartment and drove off before he could run away.

He walked into the lobby and met the one and only Tony Stark, Y/N’s manager. “James Barnes, I believe, nice to meet you.” Tony held out his hand and Bucky shook it firmly. “Hey, where's the cheese burgers I asked you to bring?”

It was 10 o’clock in the morning.

“I couldn’t find a place that was open, also I’m a bodyguard, not a butler.” Bucky replied.

“Well you better be, because I’m hiding behind you if we’re going up there empty handed.” Tony laughed and led the way to the elevator.

They quickly entered your apartment and Bucky was already assessing all of the security risks while Tony tried to explain how it would be best to handle you. Apparently food would be crucial and you didn’t handle authority well. Bucky was certain that he would change that.

However as they walked around your apartment, you were nowhere to be seen. There was absolutely no trace of you… except for the trail of clothes leaning to the bathroom… and a distinct singing voice coming out of it.

“You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you.” You sang.

Bucky found himself almost entranced by your voice. It captured him, almost worse it was distracting him. Tony however just rolled his eyes and banged on the door.

“Y/N come out, you knew this was the time you were meeting the new head of security!”

Your response to this was just to sing louder.

“I need you baby, and if it’s quite alright, I need you baby-!”

Tony continued to bang on the door until you finally opened the door, once the song ended of course. Thick steam rolled out of the room, it was clear the shower had been steaming hot and on for a while. You had one towel wrapped around your head and one that was wrapped around your body.

“Enjoy the show boys?” You asked with a teasing grin.

Tony sighed, “James this is Y/N, Y/N, James.”

You walked over to him and held out your hand. Bucky shook it cautiously.

“Well, I’m waiting,”

Bucky looked at you confused. “Did you enjoy the show?” You repeat yourself.

Bucky wanted to be honest, tell you it was the most magnificent thing he’d ever heard. But then he remembered everything he’d read in your files and how any compliment would go to your already enormous ego. So he put on his best poker face.

“It was mediocre.”

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Putting all the pieces together, he realised he had been such an ass. You weren’t some spoiled rich kid, in fact you were almost the complete opposite. Life had dealt you one of the shittiest hands possible and despite all that you did everything to make a life for yourself. He had heard some of the things you’d yelled at Tony.

‘You promised me that she would never have to go through any of the shit that I went through,’

Bucky had seen a few scars on you from when you and him had been together. He never brought them up but he had a pretty good idea how you got them. Jesus christ, no wonder she ever brought up her family.

He headed towards the kitchen. You were finishing up the work he’d left when he got distracted by your singing.

“Here, let me help you, I should’ve finished it anyway.” Bucky spoke and tried to jump in.

“No I should do it, besides I thought you’d be glad that I’m finally doing something myself.” Y/N remarked.

Bucky sighed and scratched the back of his back.

“I owe you an apology, I shouldn’t have assumed that you were- well,” He stumbled over his words, not wanting to repeat all the insults he’d thrown at them before.

“Spoiled, lazy, never worked a day in their life, good for nothing-” Y/N began to list off casually as she wiped the plate clean.

“No- never good for nothing.” Bucky interrupted, feeling strongly.

“Right, good for a quick fuck,” Y/N responsed, again in a calm and casual tone.

Bucky hated it, hated how he knew that they weren’t even mad. To them, they were just stating the facts. Bucky wished with everything in him that they would realise how wrong they were.

“Y/N, you’re so much more than that… but right now you need to have confidence in yourself for Claire,” He began.

He walked over to you and lifted your chin up delicately to look at him.

“You told me that you thought that the best thing for Claire would be for her to forget about you but look at you with her today, you’re a natural.” Bucky tried to encourage but it just caused you to look away from him.

“For one day, Bucky, and even then I had you helping me all throughout it... I don’t know the first thing about family, or how to raise a kid… you know last Sunday I nearly broke my sobriety,” Y/N admitted, the shame beginning to consume them.

Bucky looked back at Y/N in shock, he didn’t even know that Y/N was an addict. Sure they never drank but he figured that was so they could keep a clear head while performing.

“It’s in my genes, I grew up around it thinking it was normal, it wasn’t until Tony pulled me out of there did I straighten my shit out… don’t you get it, I’m impulsive, I fuck you because it’s just another way to drown my sorrows… I fuck you because hate is the closest thing I’ve ever known to love-” The words you were saying were now just vomiting out of you, so fast that you couldn’t even stop them.

“That’s not true,” Bucky argued quietly, “I don’t hate you.”

“Even if that’s true… everything else I’ve told you makes it clear that I’m going to ruin Claire, just like my mother ruined me.” You sighed.

Bucky looked at you sadly, there was clearly so much that you were battling, that you had been battling for years that he completely didn’t notice.

“You’re mother was alone and in a bad place, a bad state of mind, you’re not.” He tried to assure you.

“How so?”

“You’re not alone, you’ve got me for starters.”

“Right, so what, we suddenly go from hate fucking to trying to be a little family.”

Bucky brought your face up to look at him again.

“Wouldn't be the worst place in the world to start” He offered and tried to take your hand.

This was possibly the third time Bucky had been weird with you today. This time he looked at you like for the first time in his life he was being vulnerable.

“Or how about a fresh start? We start over, I’ll be there for you and Claire no matter what, even if things go south between us, even if you hate my guts, I’ll be there.”

You pondered his offer. It reminded you of the first time you met him, of the song you sang.

You’re just too good to be true.

What Bucky spoke of was something so unknown to you. Unconditional love, one where even if you trip and fall or hit rock bottom there’s people to help you back to the top. Something like that surely had to be nothing but fairytales. How in one day could Bucky pull a 180 on you? How could he go from hating your guts to wanting to be involved in all of your mess?

It made no sense, except maybe he didn’t hate you?

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You were desperate to escape this after party for your show. You’d been drinking just plain coke and telling people it was vodka and coke but everyone around you was getting drunk and trying to get you to join in. It was reminding you too much of your childhood, it was too tempting, it felt like somewhere between a nightmare and a dream.

To your surprise Bucky seemed to pick up on how uncomfortable you were. Almost wordlessly he grabbed your hand and led you towards the balcony. With the doors shut behind you the party suddenly felt a world away. The fresh air had never felt so good in your lungs… well that was until the all too familiar smell of smoke ruined it.

You looked behind you to see Bucky was smoking a cigarette. The warm orange embers that glowed everytime he took a puff might as well have been the fires from hell itself. There were too many memories, too many scars left on you due to those filthy things. To your surprise again, Bucky noticed how you still looked uncomfortable and stubbed out the cigarette.

This was weird. He’d been your primary bodyguard for nearly a year now and usually the two of you seemed to do everything you could to piss each other off. You pushed his buttons and in return he pushed yours. So for him to do something to make you comfortable was very odd.

“Sorry, let me guess, you can’t be around cigarettes in case it ruins your precious voice?” He huffed

That was certainly an easier explanation, so you just nodded. “You know I’m confused, I figured you’d be the biggest party animal out there, biggest rockstar of the century or whatever they claim you are nowadays.” Bucky continued.

“Think whatever you want about me Barnes, but for a bodyguard you’re pretty un-fucking-observant.” You huffed back at him.

You wrapped your arms around yourself after that, rubbing them up and down. Barnes might’ve not noticed that you didn’t like parties before but he could notice that they were cold right. He took off his blazer and wrapped it around your shoulders and pulled you slightly closer to him. He always ran warm, figured that would warm you up in no time. However, what he didn’t expect was to like the way you looked in his clothes, or how he liked how you smelt; or the way you seemed to fit in his arms.

“Still pretty un-fucking-observant?” Bucky asked, echoing your words.

“Thankyou.” You muttered, feeling slightly uneasy from how close you were to him.

“No problem, I wouldn't want you to get frostbite, that would probably be a pretty quick way to get fired.” Bucky jokes, it might’ve been the first time he tried joking with you.

You chuckled slightly at him and enjoyed his warmth. How the hell was he so warm? It was December and snowing and yet he was lighting a portable fire.

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The first time you fucked was three months after. You were walking home, with Bucky trailing behind you while you were holding hands with some stupid movie star. He was a jerk, you’d decided that pretty early on, even more of a jerk than Bucky could ever be but you were working on the soundtrack for his movie. Tony along with Jerk’s manager thought it could be a good press opportunity.

So you walked towards your apartment holding hands purposely for the paparazzi. The only thing Bucky was enjoying out of this was the fact that he knew you were putting on your phony smile.

The second you got into your house you dropped the jerks hand and instantly felt like you needed to wash it in hydrochloric acid. Bucky began to check that the security system was keeping the paparazzi out when he heard ‘jerk’ talking to you.

“I think we fooled them pretty good, don’t you,” God, even his voice gave him away a sleaze-bag.

“Yeah, especially the fact that you kept grabbing my ass and I didn’t break your hand off!” You yelled at him. “Oh please, I think you enjoyed it.” He smirked and you wanted to be sick.

“The plan was to get some rumours flying around you that you’re dumb movie got some buzz, not to make them think I’m some fucking whore!”

“Well if the shoe fits, and besides we’ve got some time to kill before my limo gets here,”

That was it. Your fist went flying for him, unlucky for you, this jerk saw it coming and caught it.

“Good, I like it when they're feisty, see we’re a perfect match.” He went to shove you up against the wall.

It all happened so fast. One minute he was shoving you against the wall and you were squirming out of the grip. This next he was on the floor and Barnes was on top of him, both of his fists colliding onto Jerks face, until he nose was bloody.

“You ever fucking touch them again and you’re dead, you hear me?” Bucky threatened.

“You can’t do that to me.” the jerk groaned.

“I just did, and if you don't leave right now, you won’t be leaving in a limo, you’ll be leaving in a body bag.” Bucky spoke darkly as he got up.

Unsurprisingly, The jerk got up as fast as he could and ran out of the apartment. Once he was gone, Bucky looked up towards you. You were shaking slightly, your eyes were wide and your fists seemed to be so tight that your nails were digging into your skin. Bucky quickly walked over to you and gently tried to take hold of your hands.

“Y/N, it’s okay, you can relax, he’s gone, he can’t hurt you anymore… I’m sorry if I scared you.” Bucky spoke softly.

You slowly let your hands relax and Bucky quickly interlocked them with him. They seemed to fit perfectly, almost too perfectly.

“I will say you sure know how to pick em’” Bucky chuckled lightly.

“I didn’t pick him, I’d pick anyone in the entire universe over him, hell I’d even pick you over him.” You argued.

“I’m honoured.” Bucky replied dryly.

You laughed at his remark. Bucky felt a small amount of pride inside him that even in this scenario he could still make you laugh. It was possibly the first time he saw you laugh up close and he decided it was possibly his second favourite sound, second to you singing.

“Urm Barnes… you’re still holding my hands.” You pointed out.

“I know,” was all Bucky could think to say, “I know and I like them there… unless you want them somewhere else?”

“What happened to your professionalism?” You shot back with a teasing smirk.

“I just beat up a guy for you and sent him out of your house bleeding… if I last a week I’ll be lucky.” Barnes did have a point.

So you were brave for once. You leaned forward and kissed him and he kissed you back. He moved your hands so that they were now above you and he kept them there with one hand and while the other began to feel up your chest.

You ended up in your bedroom, naked, breathless and lying on top of him. This could’ve been where everything worked out, where you got your happily ever after… but you always were your worst sabator.

“This should’ve never happened.” You spoke quickly as you pushed yourself off of him.

“What?” Bucky asked, confused as ever.

“You heard me, let’s just forget this ever happened.”

But it did keep happening, however the next time he fucked you he was angry. He was hurt and wanted to take it out on you, so you let him. It probably explained why afterwards he tried to make it so that he was always the first to leave, so that you wouldn’t be able to hurt him again. You and him went back to pushing each other’s buttons and pissing each other off but at least now when it became too much you could fuck the anger out of each other.

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He never hated you, you just broke his heart. You broke his heart once already because you were too scared of him doing the same to you. And right now you were scared that he could do the same thing again.

“Okay.” You replied softly, almost so softly that there was almost no noise along with the word.

“Okay?” Bucky echoed, desperate to hear you right. “Okay.” You spoke again, nodding this time.

Bucky smiled, one of the most genuine smiles he’d had in a long time. This could work, his little family. Unconventional, broken but perfect little family.

#bucky fanfic #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bodyguard!au #bodyguard!bucky #bodyguard!buckyxreader #rockstar!reader #rockstar!au #marvel fanfiction #winter solider x reader

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