#sex criminals is fire btw

[robertseanleonardthinker]

one rlly fond memory i have of residential is that, when the unit got rlly chaotic (aka ppl were fighting) i could ask staff to take me off unit to a classroom to watch videos abt daredevil. i was rlly heavily hyperfixated on dd, and those moments rlly helped me get through some hard days. the staff with me would sometimes talk with me abt daredevil, too. something as simple as that rlly helped me. i sat on a beanbag chair and watched videos i had already seen dozens of times before residential, and everything was okay for a few minutes. i was not hundreds of miles from home. people weren't yelling and hitting each other just down the hall. big fuckin shoutout to makayla and alicia for taking me i fuckin love u guys

also one time i watched a video with chip zdarsky and he mentioned his series sex criminals a few times and i was rlly rlly curious what it was so alicia let me look it up on the smartboard thing i was watching on. i couldn't remove it from the history after i was done tho and that was a big problem bc this was in the younger kid's room 😭

[vaguely-concerned]

I’m on a Star Wars books roll so here we go with my — unhinged thanks for asking! — thoughts on Dooku: Jedi Lost, specifically the audio play. Short version: I fucking loved this one! For maximum emotional devastation, pair with Master and Apprentice and Padawan the way my stupid ass did and then be sad about it forever I guess that's what I’m going to have to do.

 Long (LONG oopsie) version:

- So. First of all, let’s get the most important thing out of the way on this here old man yaoi website. We all agree dooku and sifo dyas explored each other’s bodies right. Or at least definitely would have if not for the laws of this order etc., potentially. That’s not just me. Good. Thank you. We can now move on 

- Secondly. Well. Guess I’m just going to be inconsolable about Sifo-Dyas forever now. I miss the days in which he was just a throwaway line in AotC spawned by a random misspelling to me, rather than an eternal raw aching wound in my heart

- poor poor ventress just reading through all the proof that dooku absolutely does have it in him to be a good dad I mean master and just — idk got tired of that and went the force lightning route with her. I love the move of having her dead master hang out with her all that time as well (having her slip up and refer to ‘us’ did something to me, god this is so sad. Is he actually there in spirit or is it just her grief dreaming him up because dooku is awful and cold as a cliff  wall and she needs some kind of attachment figure even if she’ll have to reinvent him herself, rebuild him word for word, gesture by gesture. Pain. sorry about your terrible track record with father figures asajj) 

- Lene: (About Averross): He hasn’t changed. 

Dooku: (In the warmest fondest voice you ever heard) And I hope he never does

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MYSELF? MUST I SET MYSELF ON FIRE TO ESCAPE THE PAIN???

Another strong showing for Rael in general, btw. He’s so warm and charming as a presence even though he’s also a little chaos gremlin. (He’s quite similar to how Sifo-Dyas was when he was young in some ways, I can definitely start to see what Dooku responds warmly to in terms of character traits.) 

- the fact that good ol’ sheev showed an interest in rael, dooku and anakin… interesting huh! He’s just got a soft spot for the disaster lineage I suppose, maybe there’s an element there of luring yoda’s most direct lineage into the dirt with him without yoda even noticing for the longest time. Also cackling at the idea that he looked at qui-gon ‘too fucking stubborn and insufferable to fall to the dark side out of sheer spite’ jinn and went ‘...not that one tho’ fhdskjfa. And obi-wan is more like ‘that one blorbo all my little guys seem wild about but I just don’t get it guys’ 

IF rael’s refusal to join dooku at the end of ‘master and apprentice’ is the last word (which I am not convinced of ;___; be safe cowboy jedi we never see in mainline canon so far), then he’s the only one who has dodged palpatine’s attentions. Wonderful if true love that for him

ALSO rael is one of the few people we know to be on (or at least to consider himself on despite what palps might think lol) first name basis with palpatine. Hilarious. I concur with dooku never change rael 

- Sifo-Dyas: That’s insane. 

Dooku, deadpan: Yes.

Sifo-Dyas: The worst plan I’ve ever heard.

Dooku, somehow even more deadpan: Most probably. 

Sifo-Dyas: I’m in. 

Crying… weeping and dying………… what if someone could have helped sifo with his unfortunate prophecy propensity and they hadn’t drifted apart. Clone Wars averted methinks if dooku still ended up leaving the order he would have been too busy having tender gay sex with the love of his life (and only person who can call him out on his shit and have him actually listen) to be a war criminal (I am being extremely facetious of course this is very much a ‘time traveler killing baby hitler’ situation where the underlying forces causing this point in history are way too powerful to avert the catastrophe in one move. but at least palps would probably have had to pick someone else to wreck the galaxy through and sifo-dyas would be kissed & held instead of going slowly mad. A net plus some (I, me) would say) 

- I just wanted to applaud both the writing and the voice acting for the characterization of Dooku in this, from his young self trying so hard to be haughty and self-possessed but also being like, y’know, twelve and a dweeb and easy for Sifo-Dyas to pull into trouble, to the dry wit and warmth he shows with Rael and Qui-Gon or his sister later. It took me a little while to get into the voice acting specifically (the actor makes no attempt at going the full Christopher Lee, which in hindsight was probably wise), but now I love it. It gets a bit goofy in places but you know what, I am a long time lover of audio plays, that’s part of the charm 

- “Master, have I done something wrong?”

My heart is clenching… do you think… that master yoda’s deal with leaving his student to try fucking everything to have some kind of relationship with him until he just breaks down in tears of despair… is the kind of thing that maybe started a little bit of a generational trauma cartwheel through the ages. The point that bb!dooku is arrogant isn’t without merit and he strikes out incredibly ungracefully about it (in fact I would be a lot more worried than yoda seems to be that he decides to try to kill a tree about it, ‘I felt like destroying something beautiful’-style)  but I just don’t think a… fourteen year old? A teen anyway, Is going to learn what you think he learns from this. I simply don’t believe that silent treatmenting kids will teach them emotional intelligence I guess especially if they already struggle with that naturally lol 

(It is exactly the same mistake (in my opinion) that Qui-Gon makes with Obi-Wan, too, just leaving the kid completely alone and forcing them to come to you every which way for comfort or guidance instead of meeting them or reaching out to them. Especially once you see that really Dooku’s prime emotion/big core wound right from the beginning is loneliness. And that doesn’t only come from a feeling of superiority (which to be sure is also a big factor), because he has no idea where he comes from until he meets his sister. I don’t think the jedi as a whole were unsalvageable by any stretch of the imagination, but Yoda specifically… you are on such very thin ice with me at this point you little green fuck. You’re very funny and moving in yoda dark rendezvous and that’s all that’s keeping you in my somewhat good graces.)

- Okay, coming back a bit later I think I’ve found the right words to say this. more precisely dooku has two big issues which you can later see haunting all the way down his lineage — loneliness and control. (and not incidentally the intersecting elements of the two haha.) We see from his relationship to sifo-dyas that he’s not incapable of having close mutual relationships with an equal, but that kind of crashed and burned for reasons neither of them could really help and after that it seems quite telling that he has the easiest time with deeper connection in a teacher-student sort of form. I think his affection is unconditional and real, but you can’t get away from the fact that he also has the most control in that relationship structure by default, he gets to dictate what form it takes to a big extent. He doesn’t trust other people — the underlying idea ‘Only I can do this’ that eventually leads him down the Separatist path is there the whole way. It speaks both to a sense of superiority and an utter lack of faith that other people can or will help him. And then that echoes down through the master-padawan line: 

Qui-Gon with his self-righteousness and utter refusal to compromise leaving him isolated among the jedi (only he is right. Yeah the Force told him so. Don’t worry I’ve got a permit *insert parks and rec I can do whatever I want meme here*), Obi-Wan with his anxiety and perfectionism and incredible sense of shame and responsibility that he should be able to carry the whole world on his shoulders alone and beating himself up for failing, all feeding into not knowing what to do with Anakin and his complete lack of control of himself and his desperation to gain and maintain connection and love (which earns him the title of ‘Dooku’s least favorite family member’ fhdsa his immediate disdain for him is so funny and so in character. Repress and go slowly mad like a normal person anakin the way you’re carrying on is just undignified and that is much worse than being evil)… 

- Rael gently telling Dooku to take on another padawan soon… so sweet, so sad, local cowboy jedi looking out for his dad. Also highlights something about Dooku I think is true: that he does much better and seems to have an easier time holding to the light when he’s responsible for someone else. Again, I do feel like Dooku’s core problem is loneliness, but it seems like raising kids is the one point where that relaxes somewhat. Maybe if Sifo-Dyas had stayed in a better mental place and they kept in touch it could have been different.

- Lene Kostana is SUCH a character! Charismatic and deeply fucked up, when it’s revealed how her and Sifo-Dyas’ relationship remains long after his padawan stage is done I felt a little bit sick, to my surprise. Because that could just be kindness on her part, of course, it’s good that he has someone he trusts to look after him when he can’t himself, but also there’s something… queasy about the way it keeps him continually young, in a way. (Notably he still calls her ‘master’ even as an adult, when they’re working together. Not uncommon in Star Wars, of course, but together with everything else going on vibes-wise… hm.) The inherent unreliable narration of this story really worked for me in this regard especially — do we know that young Dooku was entirely wrong when he sensed the dark side in her? She certainly is willing to go to lengths that are… worrying! in her fascination with sith shit, she tempted children into a dangerous place they didn’t understand and couldn’t know the consequences of and she continually puts sifo-dyas in situations that are implied to be a risk to worsening his condition. Run of the mill incredibly irresponsible at best, sincerely sinister at worst. Did she choose Sifo over Dooku because he’s more vulnerable and shapeable? There is an undercurrent of something icky and emotionally incest-y going on with how she relates to Dooku and Sifo-Dyas in general (right down to the ‘NO, no one can know about this’ intensity after the… evil moss cave. I can’t believe I’m this emotional about a book with an evil moss cave). I don’t think she’s a proper sith in any way and I also believe there is real affection there on all sides, but idk something about the whole thing makes me deeply uneasy. Yoda where the fuck are you your son is out there with his irresponsible mom again they’re looking for dirty needles in haystacks and they’re not even wearing any gloves

- dooku telling sifo-dyas he can come back to haunt him if he likes as a joke… well well well I’m sure that doesn’t ring with some dramatic irony at some point down the line lmao

- honestly looking back at master and apprentice after reading jedi lost makes qui-gon's apparent lack of reaction to dooku leaving seem — let's call it highly suspect haha. rael asks him if he's spoken to dooku after and qui-gon is like 'no. why would I. it's literally fine. anyway this topic is done now'. (and rael seems to just go ‘*older brotherly knowing* uh-huh’) meanwhile he's thinking about dooku *all the time* trying to figure out his role as master to obi-wan, thinking about being a padawan himself, the parts of his life he shared with both dooku and rael. The jedi doth protest too much methinks  

ALSO how much of qui-gon thinking the council was too lenient with rael after he had to kill his padawan is about that actual situation, and how much is a ‘our family still likes my older brother more than me even though he Fucked Up so bad and breaks just as many rules as I do’ sort of deal mixed with his own neuroses about how he’s failing obi-wan (to which rael’s situation symbolizes the worst possible outcome, i.e. the kid dies and it’s basically your fault). Many thoughts. 

- moment of silence for jenza of house serenno. Girl your only sin was being surrounded by asshole male family members and I’m so sorry I think you did all you could with what you had to work with here.

Not… entirely sure how dooku’s claim to the title supersedes hers — is he a year older than her? (she’s eleven when they first meet, he might be twelve or older at that point I don’t remember haha) Does she just give up her place in the inheritance order? Are primogeniture and male heir preference factors in Serenno inheritance law? Not the most important thing honestly it works anyway thematically but could have been clarified quickly!

- interesting to see that the council’s restrictive policy against engaging with prophecies had a surprisingly big impact on how things went down. Kostana has a lot of responsibility in Sifo’s fate for insisting he keep it secret, but there is genuine fear for what might become of him if the rest of the order finds out he’s got 24/7 futurevision hovering over him threateningly… listen it’s not like the poor guy can help getting the future constantly pumped into his brain at nightmare resolutions, I think maybe if there had been more willingness to at least engage curiously with the concept of prophecy and how it works, even if you don’t put your faith in the particulars of what the prophecies say, this wouldn’t have had to be such a shitty isolated secretive life for him. hearing him slowly fall apart over the years considering how bright and lovely he started out... oof is all I can say 

- when dooku was a good jedi he was such a good jedi!!! The scene where they’re saving the kids from the collapsing hospital, every time he teaches his students anything…the impulse of someone has to do something about this! that made him so good at saving lives turning dark with the tarnish of frustration and rage over the years… nooooooooo problematic grandpa why did it have to be like this :(

- …do you think infant jedi can sense what’s going on around them in the Force. Because it makes a very sad kind of sense if dooku on some level remembers bodily or in the Force that he was not only abandoned but rejected in disgust as one of the first things he discovered in the world. Oh boy. With all the ways attachment relationships can go wonky in the first few years in real life I don’t even want to consider how much more wrong it can go when the baby is fucking psychic lol

- vaguely related: the way dooku seems to find the very idea of being truly reliant on anyone, emotionally or otherwise, personally offensive, terrifying and humiliating lol. Yoda saves him from being crushed by rubble and he is outraged because that means he can’t save himself (and his newfound sister) without anyone’s help like he thought for one glorious moment he could. The fantasy of perfect emotional self-sufficiency, doing away with all the messiness and risk of interpersonal relationships and cutting off the possibility of really being abandoned again. It’ll get ya every time. This is also a thing you see reflected in his lineage — they’re all quite inward-turning that way until you get to anakin, to different extents and with varying presentations but it is there I think. Qui-Gon turns to the Force, Obi-Wan to perfectionism and shame and rumination, Rael to the bottle and depression and hedonistic apathy, but they all struggle hugely with letting anyone in to help them. Dooku’s line are all much more comfortable being the helpers rather than the helpees, as it were.  

- “Thank you for everything, Lene. Tell Rael and Qui-Gon — tell them… tell them the Force will be with them, always”

Emotional terrorism against me specifically and personally. You asshole you just excused yourself from the non-attachment rules there’s literally nothing in the world except you to stop you from reaching out and telling your children you love them yOURSELF why are you like this

- the recurring theme of dooku seeing something beautiful (the tree in the temple, the tirra’taka as a child and an adult) and ending up lashing out to destroy it… but the tree was old and mighty and he was young and new and couldn’t truly harm it, so he was saved from his own impulsivity. And then when he sees the tirra’taka as an adult he loves it immediately. And in the end he still mangles and destroys it. He didn’t mean to, but he did. He woke it up and hurt it just by existing as a child and then he had to kill it as a mercy because he was too powerful at that point for anything to buffer his mistakes. The parallel with the bird he loved that he also couldn’t protect. He starts out with an aching loneliness somewhere at the core of him through no real fault of his own but by the end it is entirely his own fault that it’s worse, because he starts wrecking everything he loves in an almost absent-minded but definitely intentional way, like it’s a nightmare he’s listening to through the door as it happens in the next room over. He really IS the ‘I just felt like destroying something beautiful’ central of the jedi.

at the end qui-gon is dead and through dooku’s own influence, however indirectly. Rael has had to turn away from him. Sifo-Dyas is dead on Dooku’s own orders and so is his sister, he might as well have done it with his own hands. (though I think it’s very interesting that in each case he didn’t do it with his own hands, he consistently uses a middleman.) He lives within the coldness of his sterile empty castle and horrifically mistreats the one person he might have found something like connection with the way he did with his students before (Ventress), deliberately trapping her in a similar state of utter desolate isolation and telling her, essentially, ‘We’re like this as people and nothing can be done to change it. We can’t escape, we’re already doomed, stop trying, it’s too late. You are just like me (and if you aren't already I'll make you like me)’. And that’s the closest thing he gets to love anymore. When he accused Ky of using her ‘as a salve for his own loneliness’ and you’re like well well well mr projection man how’s that working out for you. He is completely, shatteringly alone and he is so entirely as a consequence of his own actions and he's too far gone to understand or care. I’m howling you useless fucking FOOL dooku  

- dooku 🤝 john gaius

“Hm. I have observed that there are in fact many flaws in our society and the government is deeply corrupt. So if I kill a few billion people here and there in order to fix it, is that not basically okay when you really think about it” 

Dooku making salient points about the political and ethical failures of the Republic and then, just when you think he’s onto something, he goes and makes The wildest fucking decisions about what to do about it. Sure. dark magic and genocide are probably the only ways out of this you’re so right bro. If we make enough minuses to add together surely we’ll end up in plus sooner or later

- *head in my hands once more* I can’t believe I am genuinely emotionally invested in someone called Count Dooku with the looks of a knockoff dracula and ultimate moral character to match right now this is terrible. hey. hey dooks. what you have to go and fuck everything up so bad for huh I’m so incredibly sad now

there is something to be said about how getting to see glimpses of what dooku looked like in the light makes it so much more heartwrenching that he never came back. he could have, a thousand times. and every time he chose not to.

[theniftycat]

I watch a lot of American youtubers and the way they think that the USA is the only country in the world is horrifying.

They think that because they know of The Portrait of a Woman on Fire, they know the entire history of foreign queer cinema. While just as a casual film viewer, I know of Your Name Engraved Herein (Taiwan, 2020) which is criminally underrated. There are also tons of other Asian and European films that played with ideas of gender and attraction over the decades, like The Crying Game (Ireland, 1994), The King and the Clown (Korea, 2005).

Or, how about the fact that The Birdcage that was revolutionary for Hollywood, was based on a French film almost two decades older?

Or, how we can only speculate about whether or not a Golden Age actor was queer because it was hush-hush, but in France everyone knew that Jean Cocteau and Jean Marais were partners and they made tons of great movies together in 1930s-1950s? And after Cocteau died, Marais wasn’t ostracized, but had a highly successful career and wrote his autobiography in the 1970s openly speaking about his greatest love? Marais was one of the biggest sex symbols of his time, mind you.

Or the fact that British cinema was a lot kinder to queer characters starting with the 1960s than Hollywood?

I also find it laughable when people call Ryan Johnson one of the most controversial directors. Please, Pier Paolo Pasolini and Ken Russell didn’t make films about priests, monks and nuns having tons of sex in 1971 to be done dirty like that. Both films were based on historical works and if you don’t know about Decameron (a horny, horny book of short stories written in times of plague in the 14th century Florence), you should check it out.

Speaking of Pasolini, I haven’t watched Salo (1975) yet because I’m not yet curious enough to overcome my squimishness about people being forced to eat shit for sexual reasons, and I have read some Marquis de Sade, so I can imagine what to expect.

Btw, why is nobody reading de Sade? He used to be big enough for Hollywood to make a film about him in 2000 with some A-list celebrities, but now he’s too edgy? You should at least try to know what the 18th century porn was like. (Non-con all the way, FYI, but every famous person back then read him and later too.)

You’ll never outgrow your puritanism if you never see anything outside of the US.

I’m not a historian or anything, I simply engage with the culture.

[one-joe-spoopy]

Hoo boy I got me a whole family's worth!

So there's seven of them: Nur (main character, narrative voice), River, Tessa, Mikaela, Niki and Rashid—and aside from River they're all one big criminal family. (Sort of. Former criminal family, at any rate.

Plot breakdown is that they're all a bunch of criminal kids who were separated after their father (and Nur's adoptive) died in a mysterious fire. Nur assumes her siblings also died in the fire, is massively burdened with the guilt of letting the family who took her in and raised her die, and tries to move on in life; currently she works as an accountant, shares an apartment with her qpp River (love of her life, as she fondly refers to him sometimes) and is generally doing okay in life.

Then her sister Tessa comes knocking and the whole damn thing goes to hell. Basically the gist is that except for the father no one else died, they went to live with their estranged mother (and ditched Nur because Tessa never liked her for taking her dad's attention away) and lived their lives in peace until trouble arises in the form of missing kids. Specifically, Tessa's missing kids. So not knowing what to do she tracks Nur down (btw the estranged mother knows where Nur is but the family didn't want to reconnect) and asks her for help. Nur, being the reasonable person that she is, goes wtf are you doing I thought you were dead and first she's confused, then she gets pissed (rightfully, because while she spent nearly two decades in mourning and guilty for letting them die, they were all living happily without her until they needed her help), and then begrudgingly agrees to help out (since she can't not help a bunch of kids—reminds her a bit too much about herself).

1. Nur (40, sex-neutral aro-ace). She's the second oldest, now works as an accountant. Used to be an assassin and did a lot of unsavory things for her adoptive father who she adored and got adored in return.

2. Tessa (42). Oldest. A bitch who definitely did not deserve any help from Nur after she left her to make a life on her own. Been married and widowed twice before, has a daughter from each marriage.

3. River (36, aromantic). Nur's partner, 36 years old. They met when Nur was thirty and him 26 and have been together for six years. Works in the same office as Nur but different departments. Does not know about Nur's family beyond cursory details.

Haven't really fleshed the other three out aside from Mikaela being the youngest and the other two are twin brothers (also adopted). Nur loves them a lot but can't really look at them bc they also left her. They adore her too and did not know she was alive until a few years ago, thought her being no-contact was a voluntary agreement (bc Tessa said she was going to ask so casually they assumed. They take a lot of their cues from Tessa.)

The whole thing is set in an alternate universe like ours but I kinda changed the names of places. Also Nur gets a couple of dogs on the way but that's not extremely relevant. (Well, it is but in a different iteration of it)

Reblog this and tell me about your ocs. don’t even write it in the tags just respond.

[sitp-recs]

Vanishing Cabinets by @romaine2424​

Harry/Draco (2008, Explicit, 17k)

Take one Wizarding Family Values politician who has a secret life, and add one Auror who detests discrimination of any type, but becomes a bit obsessed with said politician, and you have enough sparks to ignite a Beltane fire. 

"Go on, Draco, go make your speech. But think carefully about what you are proposing to do with the legislation. I will fight you on it and I will smite any hint of you trying to legislate love. You— as another wizard once said— are at my mercy.”

I’ve been slowly making my way through Romaine’s great and extensive catalogue since I read the excellent Garden of Eden (read my rec here), and Vanishing Cabinets became another instant favourite. It’s been a long time since I went for a fic where the main character struggles with deeply internalized homophobia, and I found this take on closeted Draco so interesting (btw can we take a minute to applaud the clever title choice and how the cabinet is explored in the fic? So creative!). It was really fascinating to follow Draco’s mental gymnastics, how he compartmentalizes his desires (the Polyjuice a convenient way to keep his distance), and we realize that the way he perceives himself is informed by his relationship with his parents and his views about the “Family Values”, which he adopts as a political platform. Being a hoe for plots exploring Wizarding politics, I was so here for the whole “you cannot legislate love” debate, it was *chef’s kiss* and I love that despite being just 17k the fic finds room to develop both characters and plot.

I’m particularly impressed by the realistic portrayal of this conflict, in a carefully handled way that doesn’t make Draco look either kind or sympathetic, neither makes Harry look pitiful or stupid. On the contrary, he upholds his moral code and is a smart and proud character that clearly wants Draco and concedes moments of vulnerability but is firm in his beliefs and unwilling to humiliate himself for affection (!!) and hot damn if this brand of pining Harry didn’t steal my heart right away! He’s incredibly confident and earnest, unapologetic both in his want and in his views, and I love the way he challenges Draco’s heart and mind. Their tense dynamics are deliciously electric and nuanced, hot and complicated, a great character study IMO.

And of course I have to scream about the scorching smut, don’t I? The whole Polyjuice sex sequence is criminally hot and I love the aftermath where Draco considers his next step now he’s found someone with whom he’s allowed to be his true self. When I tell you how much I was anticipating his decision! The narrative is well-paced, smooth and intimate; it creates a sense of passage of time without feeling dragged or rushed. And that perfect ending, oh my heart I’m in love with the dialogue, all the clever comebacks and the way they’re so comfortable with each other, having learned “the contrast of fucking hard with kissing sweetly”, fighting together the good fight now that Draco feels found, loved and cherished at last. Sigh ❤️

Read on AO3

[ladyartemesia]

Fic recs for taehyung? I love your stuff btw I’ve read them all uwu

As a beacon of extra-ness in an already extra world, I am entirely incapable of just recommending fics like a normal blog. No. I’ve got to wax on like a bloomin connoisseur. I have compiled some (but not all) of my favorite works in several different categories and sorted them accordingly. This crazy list is so long I had to add a “keep reading”... but I simply couldn’t bear to leave any of these off the list. They are all so good!

Fics have been divided into 8 categories. Some are under the cut. 

 ▨ FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS and FRIENDS TO LOVERS ▨  ▨ ARRANGED MARRIAGE ▨ ▨ FANTASY ▨ ▨ ANGST WITH A HAPPY ENDING ▨ ▨ HYBRID and ABO (alpha/omega) ▨ ▨ MULTIPLE PARTNERS ▨ ▨ NEIGHBORS AND ROOMMATES ▨ ▨ TABOO THEMES and DARK FIC (Sex Work/Power Imbalance/Very Unsafe Sex) ▨ ▨

▨ FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS and FRIENDS TO LOVERS ▨

Insomnia by @hobiwonder

This is one of those fics I read and literally could not stop thinking about. It is wildly hot and honestly hilarious. Poor reader cannot sleep and the beautiful bro she’s tutoring offers a rather unconventional solution.

(Ego) Hoe Chronicles: KTH by @suga-kookiemonster

Listen. If you find a niche fan blog devoted entirely to Ego Tae... I’m not gonna say it’s mine. But it’s probably mine. I once told suga-kookiemonster that I would literally read a story about Ego Tae going grocery shopping on a Wednesday night and I stand by that. In this lurid romp, the reader falls into the clutches of everyone’s favorite bohemian sex lord and he rails her into another dimension.

Falling, Falling, Gone by @johobi

Pining (mutual or otherwise) is not really my thing, but I would straight up read Jo’s laundry list if she posted it. As usual I was blown away by how everything she does seems somehow better than any other version of it. This reader is really unique as well, and her relationship with the wildly popular soccer star Tae comes to a sexy and hilarious head at a sort of bachelor auction. With sharp dialogue, delightful subtext, and fantastic side characters, you really shouldn’t miss it. It’s pretty much perfect.

A Friendly Favor by @baeseoul

This is the classic “teach me some sex for another woman” trope and it is done so well. Sweet best friend Tae is looking to benefit from your experience, but his is not the only world about to be thouroughly rocked.

Officer Kim and the Criminal Crush by @ddaengyoonmin

This is one of the best twists on childhood friends to lovers I have ever seen. Tae grows up to become a cop and reader grows up to be a societal menace. I won’t spoil it, but it’s the perfect blend of nostalgia, tenderness, and smut. This fic technically doesn’t have a name so I had to give it one to link it. It’s part of an AMAZING series Zoe did that I also highly recommend.

Out of the Blue by @jimlingss

This is one of those stories that blooms throughout the narrative until you are left with this gorgeous flower at the end. I loved the journey of these two characters. It was real and it perfectly captures the experience of finding your soulmate in the person you least expect.

Sin Pijama by @brilliantlybasicb

This fic is a switch culture fic. It is wild wicked hot and this Tae is unreal. I love the way he lets the reader think she is in control just long enough. It is a wild romp with an adorable sequel and honestly you should read it.

Girls Like You by @jjiminah

I was in jjiminah’s asks IMMEDIATELY about this fic because I had FEELINGS. The reader begins wordlessly teasing and tempting Tae on their morning bus ride every day until he is literally losing his mind. Everything that follows is fire. Jjiminah has hinted she will wrote more for these two and I NEED IT.

Sighs and Sonnets by @btsaudge

This fic is beautiful. Like it’s basically art. This is a bad boy who is bad for you. But he has the soul of a poet and the stroke game of a renaissance master. Bittersweet and seductive, this fic is a full experience.

The Text by @taetaesbaebaepsae

Tae is your friend with benefits but it looks like feeling may have been caught by one or more parties. When you attempt to soothe your aching heart with another pretty boy, Tae decides to stake his claim. This was very sexy. The whole fic was sexy.

▨ ARRANGED MARRIAGE ▨

Monster by @neonlights92

Monster and all of its companion series about each of the boys is one of those fics that I reread constantly and also just think about constantly. This is one of the best mafia AUs out there and it’s characters are vivid and unforgettable. Tae’s stubborn resistance to his lovely new wife in contrast with her quiet, clever strength really brings this story to life. A word of warning. The masterlist links are a bit messed up. To read part two you must click on part three. And to read part three must click on part four. The link to part four is at the bottom of part three (or you can just search it on her site. It is definitely all there though).

Dichotomy by @kpopfanfictrash

There is a reason the incomparable Shanna is on this list three times. She is truly incomparable. This is childhood friends-to enemies-to spouses and it is wonderful. I adore this Tae. He is sharp and vulnerable and occasionally heavy handed, but truly a gem. This fic also features one of the best angry sex scenes I’ve ever run my eyeballs across.

▨ FANTASY ▨

Chism by @kpopfanfictrash

The world-building in this story is genuinely awe inspiring. You could write series upon series within this vivid universe. The god of Winter is missing and Summer’s heat burns unchecked for many years. The reader is a warrior with a unique ability tasked with guarding a very interesting prisoner. This story is so good. I mean it is really bloomin incredible. It’s hard to say what I liked best about it, because it was stellar across the board.

Obsidian by @kpopfanfictrash

In the pantheon of delicious Tae incarnations, Obsidian Taehyung is essentially unrivaled as a grey witch who moonlights as a sexy rock star. His extremely erotic clash with a white witch detective plays out as the two of them track down a sinister killer (with the help of some truly memorable side characters).

Out of this World by @ddaengyoonmin

This one is really unique. Tae is a merman scientist on the water planet of Neptune and when the reader and her misguided crew crash into his sea, he takes it upon himself to improve inter-species relations. This fic features excellent world building alongside several twists and surprises. Clever scientist Tae is downright irresistible.

▨ ANGST WITH A HAPPY ENDING ▨

Picking Flowers by @jamaisjoons

So this story is a journey - truly a beautiful one and it’s a gorgeous addition to the hanahaki genre. There is real pain and I cried real tears, but gosh it was so sexy and so worth it. I was surprised by how truly immersed I ended up in this piece. I lost track of everything else. The end is insanely satisfying, but the journey is really what makes this fic unmissable.

Until Yesterday by @jimlingss

This fic destroyed me slowly then slowly put me together again piece by piece. When I say I went through it - I WENT THROUGH IT. The story is loosely based on the movie “The Vow” and it is just fantastic. Beautiful and tender till the last word.

The Foolish Muse by @bibbykins

This is the story of someone who is deeply in love, but knows they deserve better. It is a sexy and evocative work with allusions to mythology that fit seamlessly into the narrative. I think my favorite part is Tae discovering how much the reader meant to him and what choices ultimately lead them to a really delicious conclusion.

Back to You by @ladyartemesia

The last time I did a fic rec list, it got like 700 notes. Ya girl is not makin the same mistake again. I spent hours on this list. My work is comin along for the ride. Kim Taehyung is the love of your life, until one day he disappears without a trace.

Vacancy by @ppersonna

This one is the only idol AU on the list and I normally don’t read those, but Lindy’s work is too good to miss in any setting. I am thrilled I took a look because what I found was a glimpse into a beautiful relationship that weathers and eventually overcomes the challenges of loving in the limelight. There is a LOT of emotional depth and symbolism which really elevates everything about this lovely story. The reader’s internal struggles in the face of her lover’s fame are extremely well done.

▨ HYBRID and ABO ▨ (alpha/omega)

Eye of the Tiger by @opaljm

I am beyond hype about this story which is (very) loosely inspired by Zootopia and features a cocky tiger Taehyung and a fiesty prey hybrid he needs to fake date in order to keep panther Jimin from murdering him. (Tiger Tae got a tad too frisky around Jimin’s mate and now things are dangerously awkward.) This story is already so freakin good. I cannot wait for the rest.

Silver and Blue by @taetaewonderland

What happens when you get on the wrong side of the right werewolf? Very sexy - very crazy times. Chronologically this is the first of the Silver and Blue series which follows barely civilized were-Tae through his courtship and eventually his relationship with the spunky reader. Holla to all my impreg kink homies. This is the fic for you.

Heat Run by @ladyartemesia

As I said before, the last time I did a fic rec list, it got like 700 notes. Ya girl is not makin the same mistake twice. I spent hours on this list. My work is comin along for the ride. Alpha lawyer V is a man of many secrets, but his well ordered reality spirals wildly out of control when he crosses paths with a fiery omega set on saving the world from his wicked ways.

Beautiful Stranger by @interludemoonchild

This was a wild ride from start to finish. Taehyung is a tiger hybrid shifter who escapes from the circus to be close to a veterinary student he bonded with. There is a lot of interesting twists and surprises in this one. I was definitely screaming at the end.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell by @jingabitch

A very young wolf hybrid Taehyung adopts you as his pet human when you are just a kid. After Tae leaves to serve in the military he returns to an adult version of his sweet little princess and chaos ensues. Mind the tags for this one folks. It’s excellent, but there are very triggering themes throughout.

▨ MULTIPLE PARTNERS ▨

Level of Restraint by @lemonjoonah

This is not strictly a Tae fic in that he is only one of three major players in this twisted masterpiece. Lemon is the undisputed queen of the surprise twist and this one is truly brilliant. People dropped this fic in the discord calling it the best fan fiction they had ever read and I am not here to argue with them at all. Fair warning, every word - every inch of this fic is sexy and it’s delicious brand of titillation is wrapped around your psyche good and tight by the end.

Four by @luxekook

The quadruplets next door are fueling your very lurid fantasies. It turns out they have some fantasies of their own... You will need water if you read this fic. This is the original patented Kim Taehyung Horny Hive Mind 4D Experience™

▨ NEIGHBORS AND ROOMMATES ▨

The Heat Wave Series by @curly-bangtan

The original story (chapter 1) in this series is definitely famous, but I don’t know how many people have read all 9 chapters and if you haven’t, you are really missing the incredible journey of two very horny idiots stumbling recklessly towards real and amazing love. Everything is set off when the air conditioner breaks and a pair of wild roommates shed their inhibitions along with their clothes.

Flicker by @chimoona

So this fic started out with adorable neighbor dynamics and ended with erotic rope tying. Baby I was ABOUT IT. This was so bloomin hot and also like sweet and tender. Really a sexy and sentimental treasure.

Not Your Typical Flower Shop Story by @jungtaeyoongles

This story goes from “aww” to “WHAT THE-” real quick. Fast paced plot and twist after twist turn the whole flower shop au upside down and then inside out. I can’t say more because spoilers but like - WOW.

▨ TABOO THEMES and DARK FIC ▨ (Sex Work/Power Imbalance/Very Unsafe Sex)

Extracurricular by @ppersonna

One of my favorite professor-student AUs. The reader writes her gorgeous professor a borderline erotic analysis of several major works of art and he feels compelled to discuss it with her privately. Lindy really outdid herself on this one. It is scorchin. Professor Tae is actually really sweet and somehow that just makes the whole thing hotter.

Akrasia by @nitaescence

This is insanely hot. Emphasis on the insane because it’s basically a super erotic romp where you have sex with a man you don’t know (Taehyung) on a crowded public bus. I literally felt my blood pressure going up the longer I read. Whew.

The Client by @jungkookiebus

This one hit me right in the feels. Taehyung is a sweet and lonely man who has a standing Wednesday appointment with an upscale sex worker. As the story progresses, feelings become involved on both sides. When I say I am checking her page thrice daily for part three... This is so engrossing. And this Tae. I just want to hold him.

Daffodil Dreams by @sombreboy

Tread carefully ladies and gents. This story is excellent, but it is easily the darkest fic on the list and, if you choose to read it, please read the trigger warnings carefully. The reader is a psychologist called in to analyze a very dangerous criminal. As their sessions progress, however, several boundaries are crossed.

Obey by @jjkfire

Taehyung is the most feared and ruthless member of the local mafia and you are the world’s most inept escort. You needed a job, but had no real interest in sex work and you’ve managed to fly under the radar as a glorified waitress until Kim Taehyung himself walks into your agency and decides that you’re the only girl he wants. Oh my gosh I loved this story so much. It was downright amazing and there is a surprise at the end that makes everything even sweeter.

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

JJ Maybank x reader // Pope Heyward x reader

Requested by anon // Summary: You’re Kie’s adopted sister and in love with JJ, but JJ is in love with Kie.

A/N: Hope you guys like it! Anon said I could end it however I wanted soooo I tried my hand at writing some Pope x reader. He and Kie have been added to my who I write for list btw :) 

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx

**MASTERLIST**

Requests: OPEN {CLOSED}

I am currently taking requests for:

The Vampire Diaries/The Originals

Elijah Mikaelson

Damon Salvatore

Criminal Minds:

Spencer Reid

Derek Morgan

Supernatural (I’m only up to season 2, so please don’t request something with spoilers)**

Sam Winchester

Dean Winchester

Outer Banks (Netflix):

John B Routledge

JJ Maybank

Rafe Cameron

Pope Heyward *new

Kiara Carrera *new

********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS

You watch him from the end of the boat. JJ’s standing at the front with Pope, fishing. He throws his head back in laughter, filling your ears with his beautiful laugh. You’d had a crush on him since you were in middle school. The Carrera’s had adopted you when you were 5, so they were the only family you knew. You were Kie’s adopted sister by papers, but that didn’t matter. You two treated each other like blood sister and had each other’s back no matter what. 

“Earth to y/n.” Kie pokes your side.

“shit sorry.” You look over at her next to you, “What’s up?” 

“John B was asking if we wanted to have dinner at his place tonight. He thinks we have enough for a fish fry.” She laughs. 

You nod, “That’s fine with me.” Means more time to stare at JJ and not do anything or really not be able to do anything about your crush. Truth was, you could never do anything about it because first, no pogue on pogue macking and second, you knew he was head over heels in love with Kie. You’d let it slip one night that you had a crush on him, however, he’d confessed to you that he liked Kie. It damn near broke your heart, but you were his friend, so you were there for him.

 ~ 

“JJ!” Kie squealed as JJ threw her over his shoulder, walking up the dock with her. You watched with envy, wishing it could be you. You loved both of them to death and you only wanted them to be happy, because they both deserved it. Even if it meant you couldn’t be with JJ.

“You okay?” Pope gently nudged his shoulder with you as he carried the fishing poles. 

“Yeah.” You sigh, looking at him, “Just hurts you know?” 

He nods, sadness in his eyes, “I’m sorry..” 

You give a small shrug and force a smile, “It’s okay. As long as their happy, I’m okay with that.” 

He frowns, “Yeah but you deserve to be happy too…” 

“One day, Pope.” You nudge your shoulder against his, “One day.” 

~ 

You watched from across the fire as JJ fed Kie a piece of fish, laughing as she almost lost the piece out of her mouth. You weren’t sure how much longer you could handle this. Kie didn’t know of your crush and didn’t know about JJ’s either, but he tried his hardest to flirt with her. You could see everyone was preoccupied and decided it would be a good time to slip away. No one would notice you were gone. You stood from your seat and made your way down to the dock, sitting on the edge and swirling your feet in the water. 

He’d watched you leave. He hated seeing you like this. He excused himself from John B and followed you down to the dock. “Hey.” He announces from behind you. 

You glance over your shoulder, “Hey, Pope.” You give a small smile and move over a little, patting the dock next to you, “The sun’s about to set. Come watch with me.” 

He slips off his flip flops and sits next to you, dangling his feet in the water, “So… did you have a good day today?”

You nod, “yeah it was a good day.”

 “Other than JJ flirting with Kie, of course.” 

You laugh, “yeah except for that part.” You turn your attention to the water and he takes a moment to admire you. He couldn’t see how JJ would choose Kie over you. You were sweet, kind, beautiful. 

“Pope?” You raise an eyebrow at him, seeing him stare at you.

“Shit, sorry.” He chuckles, “Did you say something?”

 “I was just saying the sunset is pretty.” 

“I think you’re prettier.” He blurts out. His eyes widening as he realizes what he let slip out and the growing smile on your face, “I’m sorry… I uh..” He clears his throat, “You know I should just go.” He starts to get up, but you grab his arm. 

“No, stay.” You gently pull him back down, “You think I’m pretty?” 

He nods, “More than pretty.. you’re beautiful.” He whispers. 

You can’t help but blush. 

He clears his throat, “Would you… would you um want to go on a date? Tomorrow?” 

You bite your lip, nodding, “I’d love too, Pope.”

 His lips turn into a grin, “Really? Awesome! Okay, great.” He nods.

 You would have never expected Pope Heyward to have a crush on you. Let alone ask you on a date. Yeah, he’d always been sweet to you, but he was nice and sweet to everyone. You didn’t think much of it. Suddenly, JJ Maybank wasn’t on your mind, staring into Pope’s eyes. How could you have missed him? Your mind had been so set on JJ, you overlooked Pope. You weren’t going to overlook him anymore. 

Obx taglist:  @tregua-oca​ , @weirdbiwitch​ , @losers-club6​ , @treestarrrrrrrr​​ , @omgwhattheeven​ , @normatural​​ , @lreincarnationl​​ , @laurenron​ , @junkiemuppettxx​ , @beth-winchester21​ , @divcrdown​ , @timotaychalabae​ , @moose-squirrel-asstiel​ , @tangledinsparkles​ , @prejudic3​ , @lanarichards5  @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​ , @fratboystark​ , @nas-marie-loves-u​ , @sunwardsss , @annedub​ , @jellyfishbeansontoast​ , @turtlee-says-rawr​, @fanficscuziranout​ , @wellthathappened2 , @write-from-the-heart​ , @louisolos , @outrbank​ , @sunset-d-rive , @family-buisnes​ , @traumaflavouredjuulpod , @http-cherries​ , @k-k0129​ , @mileven-reddie​ , @eclecticpuppyhollywoodhumanoid​ , @cinnamon-roll-seth​ , @teamnick​ , @rockyyc77​ , @ellojustafangirlhere​ , @sataninsatin , @lordsagittarius​ , @helplessquotess​ , @katerosexx​ , @kiarasgold​ , @thee-sex​ , @sunshinemadds​ , @ceruleanjj​ , @nikki082489​ , @ilovejjmaybank​ , @laubluered​ , @lcil123​ , @notmcchkn​ , @ceruleanjj​ , @fangirlvoice​ , @maybebanks​ , @lolitstiana​ , @danicarosaline​ , @obx-beach​ , @katiaw2​ , @hardyxlove​ , @kaelyn-lobrutto24​ , @obxmxybxnk​ , @lasnaro​ , @thedarkqueenofavalon​ , @you-got-me-starry-eyed​ , @poguestyleskye​ , @poguesnobx​ , @godspeedlover​ , @coni-martina​ , @kaylinfayezink​ , @loveylangdon​ , @blossombxby13​ , @thelovelydreamer17​ , @chasefreakinstokes​ , @daddydobrockk , @you-got-me-starry-eyed​ , @kkmikayla​  

*if your name is crossed out tumblr is being stupid and won’t let me tag you :(

All my works tag list:  @blossomreed​

[goldenlaquer]

Hey ! Adding some Drifters content here : what kind of husbands/fathers do you think Toyohisa and Naoshi would be ? Btw, thank you for the quality content of your blog

Hello! Thank you so much for reading my blog! (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) Once again, I’ll separate the headcanons for husband and fathers. I apologize for the inconvenience, but I’d like to space out Drifters content, or else my Gintama content will drown it out! I hope you like it :)

Aw shit, this is going to be long. 

Drifters Husband Headcanons:

Butch Cassidy:

Before, marriage wasn’t something Cassidy entertained very often or at all. Just didn’t figure himself the marrying type. It also didn’t particularly help that the only women in his time who were willing to hitch it with a wanted outlaw were the same types that wouldn’t think twice about stealing the lint right out of his pockets while he slept. Not exactly wife material. ‘Sides, Cassidy very much liked his arrangements with women in the past. No hassle. No baggage. Just fun and booze and sex, and then the next day, he’d be off for the next gig without a single glance backward. The arrangement suited a criminal like him just fine,

until you; the finest female he’s ever met in all of the wild west and the strange new world, from your head and to your tippy-toes and down to the funny thing they call ‘personality’. A one-night stand doesn’t even come close to what he has with you. All of the sudden, Cassidy finds himself warming up more and more to the idea of marriage. In fact, he’d be a damn fool to not put a ring on that left hand of yours!

Oh boy, does Kid get a kick outta this. Marriage? For the fellow who said that there wouldn’t be a heavy enough ring to hold him down for a single woman? That fellow? ( “Alright, alright, Kid,” Cassidy mutters. “Stop laughin’. I said stop laughing, you sonuvabitch.”) 

Kid can laugh and joke all he wants, but Cassidy can’t find a damn thing in himself that says he regrets the marriage. 

the romance will never fizzle out, never; he keeps it alive with his silver-tongue and flirty lips. Like, the compliments just keep on coming while he’s bending over the ring finger, eye winking roguishly up at your heated face as he presses a kiss to the cool metal (maybe a few nips at the surrounding skin)  

He ain’t leaving you behind to play wife while he’s gone. Nuh-uh, you’re coming everywhere with him, every corner of the world, delivering messages and supplies. Even when the action picks up and the wagon turns into a getaway vehicle, he keeps you close by, weapons drawn and deftly firing at away any enemies gutsy enough to reach for you. There are plenty enough bullets for every bastard who thinks they can touch his wife like that. 

It’s a ride-or-die. Ride-or-die.

Kanno Naoshi:

Marriage with Naoshi is calm and peaceful. 

Nah, I’m fucking with you. 

It isn’t exactly calm. Or peaceful. It’s Naoshi. 

But starting a family was something he considered to be done in times of peace, when the war is over and he can return back home without scanning the skies for any incoming bomber planes. After all, there’s no point in marrying someone and then make a widow out of her. 

And in this world, his odds of surviving are just as bad if not worse, but everything is too unpredictable, his future too murky and goddamn uncertain that it makes Naoshi snap and say fuck it-- he’s marrying you, no matter how bad his odds are, because he can’t just wait and wait forever, fretting like some sissy. He’s gonna man up and tie the knot so tight that he’ll never leave you behind. 

If there are no shinto priests around, he’ll (forcefully) dress a poor beastman or Scipio up as one, to conduct a very wack-ass replica of the wedding ceremony back home. 

You’re part of his chaotic decision-making. As belligerent as he is, the road isn’t a one-man show anymore now that you and him are married. Everything he does, he does with you. He listens to you. Your input matters. (Within reason, of course, because if you tell him something dumb, he’ll tell you it’s dumb. But vice versa, he counts on you to call him out if he does some stupid shit.)

Naoshi works even harder on his plane. He wants the thing up and running as soon as possible. He’ll be damned if he couldn’t give his wife the best view of any world-- the sky in all its glory and the earth miles down below, every tree, plant, and animal as small as ants-- he wants you beside him in the cockpit. He wants to see your eyes and face light up in wonder and happiness as you look down. He wants to see that sight for the rest of his damn life. 

As you might expect, marital fighting. If your temper is even one-tenths of his temper, the arguments are inevitable and constant. Starts as easily as breathing air and drinking water. They are mostly petty, petty things that have no real animosity behind them. Actually, arguing with him is quite therapeutically cathartic, in the sense that you know you'll never need to hold back your emotions on him. Though, once in a while, a serious argument does pop off, leaving both parties hurt and angry. Even in the worst moments, he’ll never let a sunset go down on a fight, coming to you by the end of the day to mend things in his own rough, endearing way. 

In your marriage, fighting does not break bonds, it strengthens. 

Shimazu Toyohisa: 

It’s just a part of life for Toyohisa; he never thought about it too much. In the warring states of Japan, samurai families were very much into the politically arranged marriage stuff, so there was no need for him to go out and find himself a wife. He focused all his strength and efforts on the battlefield in the name of the Shimazu Clan, and that was about as domestic as he got. 

The concept of marriage is so far from his mind, that it’ll take ages for him to even think about it even if y’all are in a relationship. You are his. He is yours. Wife or not, those are the facts, so he doesn’t need any other labels. 

I D I O T, Nobunaga hits Toyohisa over the head (”Idiot! Idiot!” Yoichi cheers from behind the scene.) Listen, you silly boy. Woman are monopolizing creatures. They want everything: your thoughts, your fidelity, and your heart. Matrimony is just one of those things. If you aren’t husband and wife, she’s going to hold it against you and never tell you about it. Eventually, one day, she’s not going to take it anymore and she’ll betray you--

Aa? Not everyone thinks twisted like you, old man! 

If he’s going to marry you, he’s not going to do it just because some paranoid warlord told him to do it. He’s going to use marriage, not as some political scheme or placation, but to symbolize that you have his thoughts, fidelity, and heart. 

husband!toyohisa is just soooooo ahhhhh

Toyohisa does have to admit, there is something about you referring to yourself as his wife to others. Oh yeah, that’s his possessive, monopolizing side talkin’. 

You have the upper hand over him in domestic situations. He’s got no clue nor talent about most of this stuff, but Toyohisa is nothing if not a trier. Full of grit, this one. 

You have his ardent loyalty and protection, without a doubt. He will defend your person and honor until his last breath. And if you’re a fighter like him (which he doesn’t approve of in the first place), Toyohisa is going to try everything in the book to get you off the field. During battle, he always goes into a higher state of consciousness to achieve that demon-like intensity and power, but the thought of you in danger makes him falter, it is too horrific and too distracting for him. This could be the hill in your marriage, that bump in the road that will take time to get across, but no matter what, remember that Toyohisa loves you.

[cartoonfangirl1218]

Love in a Fiery Place or Hot and Bothered

Summery: Lisa tries matchmaking. Never let her matchmake. See my (shamlessly self promoted) other fic, Just like Fire, for who the heck Volcana is.

It's been months since Lisa had seen her brother or Mick ever since they went on their time travel, earth saving mission and she was bored.

Sure she had pulled off her share of heists and gone on a few dates with her favorite, babbling engineer but jewelry and sex had it's perks for so long. Especially with Cisco having a job.

She really needed a hobby, but one evening after too much beer and watching Love Actually on Netflix she thought of a brillant idea.

Matchmaking! 

She could matchmake someone she knew and watch them act all blushy and idiotic. It would be definitely entertaining.

She could match up her brother, but Lenny would never go for it. Besides she couldn't exactly see her brother in an attractive way. The guy made cold puns and read Kant during his spare time. Who would go for such a nerd like that!

But Mick. Mick was an equally challenging prospect with his unhealthy obsession with fire, alcoholic tendencies and general unpredictablness. But there were lots of the pyros in the world, she just had to find one who would be willing to date him.

Unfortunately that was a lot harder than she thought.

After checking most dating sites, she found that most Pharos were either dead, in jail, old or jailbait or that they weren't super into it. Just a few trash can fires.

She needed someone who would be just as willing to burn a building down.

So she had to up the search a notch. And what better way was to hack into S.T.A.R. Labs. More specifically, Cisco accessing into S.T.A.R. Labs.

"Please..." Lisa pouted. 

"No no no. I'm not helping you find MICK of all people a date,” Cisco protested.

"Why not? Don't you believe in love conquers all? You redeemed me,” Lisa purred. 

"Hardly." Cisco snorted. 

"Very true, my corrupt little scientist," Lisa smiled, leaning over his chair and basically falling into his lap. "But love could get him off the crime paths he's been on.” 

"Then he can fall in love with a psychiatrist. Putting him with another pyro will only cause more crime." Cisco stammered as Lisa caressed his long hair

"Pyros can handle pyros. Psychiatrists are suicidal and it won't do any good if the girl dies of fear after two dates." Lisa pouted again, bringing her lips closer to his, ending with a nice smoldering kiss.

Plus three more after that.

"Umm what we're talking about?" Cisco asked dazedly coming up for air

"Files. I'm not going to let this go Cisco. I always get what I want,”  Lisa smirked

Cisco paused, "If I do this, I'M choosing the movie and the restaurant for our date."

"Fine! We'll go to that disco bar." Lisa rolled her eyes.

"Alright!" Cisco started humming Bees Gees as he typed away on the computer for pyro meta criminals.

"There's none. That's impossible. There really aren't ANY pyros in Central City besides Mick?l Lisa cried

"Guess they didn't want to steal his gimmick," Cisco shrugged, looking relieved

"Do you think there are any in the Starling city?" She asked "Don't know, it's more mercenary and assassins then metas." He answered

"Maybe there are fire aliens?" Lisa thought out-loud, 

"Only Earth 3,” Cisco shook his head.

"Earth Three?" Lisa froze. 

"Shit!” Cisco eyes widened "No, no, no. That's just some crazy dream I had. There's no such thing as Earth Three is like there being Earth Two. Totally stupid" Cisco babbled

"Take me." Lisa demanded Cisco started taking off his shirt.

"I like how your mind works. But no. Take me to Earth Three. Tell me all about it. Are there really such things as fire aliens?" Cisco groaned

"I'll do it myself. You know I will. So you can come help or I'll trash this place doing it myself" Lisa insisted

"We are so lucky that Caitlin and Flash are out today" Cisco groaned again "Yaaas"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- They had entered to Earth Three just as Supergirl finished saving a bus full of children. Once the reporters left, Cisco introduced himself and her as friends of the Flash. Lisa explained her mission to help Mick find love. 

Supergirl had been just as convinced as Cisco at the idea that love redeems but with a lot of wheedling and encouragement about second chances, Supergirl had allowed the idea of helping them.

"I think I know the girl perfect for Mick" Supergirl explained enthusiastically as they walked to the government building, DEO. "Claire Selton, code name Volcana. Born with pyrokenesis and trained to be a weapon by the government. She went rouge on them and used her powers to steal and cause crime. Superman had to put her on a deserted island in hopes not to harm any more civilians. But stay here. I'll be back soon." She left them in a plain white room, suitable for a noir style interrogation scene and waited. Five minutes later, Supergirl was back with a young thirty year old. The girl in question had long flaming orange hair that reached to her ankles in a messy braid. Her tan skin glowed brightly against her white bikini, her ambers eyes sparked with confusion and annoyance.

"No" Claire hissed, sitting down on the table. Lisa noted with pleasure that the metal table steamed and let out drifts of smoke when Claire touched it.

"No what?" Cisco asked.  "Supey told me what you want. My answer is no. I am not going to a totally different Earth for a guy I never even met. What is this? 1689? Supergirl take me back to the island I am missing my afternoon tanning" she demanded. "Oh oh well that's understandable but did Supergirl mention that this guy has a heat gun that radiates about 220 tons of fire power in a single shot" Lisa rattled off.  "It's 225 tons of fire power btw. Plus how many guys here can say they burned a house for the sake of watching it burn" Cisco added.  "And he's been practicing flame swallowing,” Lisa added.  "Claire.." Supergirl started calmly.  "It's Volcana to you.” Claire scowled.

"Volcana. You're not going to get married to him. Just one date and if you don't like it you can come back here. Besides aren't you tired of being alone in your little island?"

"I wouldn't be there if it weren't for you!" Volcana shot back.

"You were hurting innocent people!" Supergirl retorted.

"Well those "innocent people" we're hurting me. I didn't want to be a weapon but you all treat me like a bad guy because I am what I am.” Volcana ranted, flames suddenly burst from her hands.

Lisa and Cisco jumped back and Supergirl put on a defensive stance.  "And he will love you for it" Lisa put in.

"We have a lot of metas. They get what it's like to be used for their powers. Now Mick will get you even more because he understands how pretty the flames are. It doesn't have to be a date, just two adults talking, fellow pyro to pyro." Cisco said

Claire glared at them in silence, contemplating. "Fine, only for the sake of watching something burn."

The three nodded eagerly at each other. --------------------------------------------------------------- Claire changed into a more appropriate outfit of red leather top and black leather pants with combat boots as they left Smallville.

"Good luck," Supergirl gave a tentative thumbs up and left.

As the three went through the portal, Lisa interrogated Claire and was pleased to find out that she and Mick had a lot in common. Love of alcohol, way too graphic descriptions of explosions and fiery deaths, and had no filter when it came to humor.

"They are practically soul mates!" Lisa whispered giddily in Cisco's ear as they left the Earth One S.T.A.R. labs to Mick's abandoned apartment.

"Oh joy," Cisco muttered sarcastically. --------------------------------------------------------- Cisco had left immediately, stating he didn't want there as a witnesses for future villainy. 

Lisa settled Claire to the guest room of the apartment and waited for the boys to arrive. Claire had gotten bored so she sat down, turned on the oven and stared. Another pastime she shared with Mick. Lisa swore her face was going to break open if she smiled anymore. 

Oh this was going to be so good, and if it ended badly damn it was going to be more entertaining than the firework bomb Mick had set up for April Fool's Day. Leonard and Mick arrived at 7 pm. They didn't say anything about where they had been, they were just so exhausted and about to fall asleep but Lisa insisted on keeping Mick awake, slapping his cheek the whole time as he walked to the kitchen. 

"What do you want?" Mick scowled, shoving her hand away from his face.  "I'm about to change your life, Mick this is Claire" Lisa introduced "Claire this is Mick.” 

Leonard gave a questioning look to her but she just grinned. 

"Oh you gotta be kidding me. Look however she suckered you into this I'm not interested. Leave." Mick instructed Claire.

"Aren't you a charmer? I've seen midgets more handsome than you" Claire spat. 

"She's a pyro. Claire, show him" Lisa said.  Claire sighed but showed off anyway by blowing a kiss as her hand spouted fire like a dragon. "Where's smoke, there's flame. That's me. Volcana" Mick just stared in awe. 

"Heatwave" he lifted the gun from his belt, "Do that again, I need to try something.” 

Volcana complied, Mick shot his gun at the same time and it set the table on fire, and quickly spread to the oven. 

"Holy Shit!" Lisa screeched and grabbed the fire extinguisher taped to the door for emergencies like this, spraying it everywhere. 

"What the hell are you two doing" Leonard yelled but the two heat villains ignored. 

"Volcana huh?" Mick grinned maniacally, leaning against the charred table. "I like your heat gun. Sure could have used it on those cold Metropolis nights" Volcana flirted back, staring up at Mick. "I'll leave you to it. C'mon Lenny," Lisa shoved Leonard out the door. When she stopped by the apartment to drop off a six pack and to get her golden bra for her date with Cisco, she saw the living room an absolute mess with scorch marks in random places, a torched smoke detector on the ground, pile of clothes and the smell of smoke in Mick's room. 

She was good. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- The following weeks just reeked of success. Claire stopped by the apartment regularly. There was a new headline everyday as the couple started fires and explosions around Central City for their dates, and Lisa had overheard their nicknames for each other. Fireball and Spitfire. 

Since it went so well she was even thinking of setting up the other Rogues like Trickster II. Maybe with some Metahumans that Cisco watched like Peek a Boo. She was once again considering setting up her brother but she had pick pocketed his phone earlier and saw that he seemed to have sort of "thing" with White Canary from his Legends team. Which prompted her to stalk any information about Sara. Purely for research, not that she wasn't worried about him getting hurt. Please Len was way too cautious for that to happen. 

At the same time the success of her match had come with a price. Due to their fire kink, the two had burned Mick's room, her room, the guest room, the living room and the kitchen was beyond repair. 

She had to crash at Cisco's place which was nice, but Leonard came also because his cold gun was in the threat of being torched at any second. Nor could he get any piece of quiet with the all the fire puns. "Not fun to hear them," Lisa taunted. 

"That's different. Mine are clever. Theirs are just about fire and sex. Some things I do NOT need to know about my partner." "Thanks for the nightmares," Lisa sighed as a "lovely" mental image entered her head. With them crashing at Cisco's place, Leonard resigned to glaring from the love seat while she and Cisco were on the couch. It was not helping date night. So it was up to her to save the apartment. 

She had entered the apartment expecting another scene of quite literal hot love but found more burning rage.

"You are weak!!!" Claire screamed, "You don't even have pyrokensis you just have a gun huh. I can start a fire whenever I want! You are nothing!" "You're just a hypocrite! Oh the government just wanted to use me" Mick mocked with a falsetto "Screw that. You're just as selfish as me. You just use your powers for petty thief but you could be better, so YOU ARE WEAK!" 

"You have nothing. No brains, no strength and yet you think the world would bow to your awesomeness. And you are the most impulsive idiot I ever met. You just forge along with no regard for logic or what we are suppose to be doing on our date. Honestly what am I suppose to do with you, tell me!" "You think you're so hot. Well I'm hotter, hotter than Cold." Mick sneered.

"I thought you didn't care about that!" Claire protested.

"In the middle of sex, yeah I do." Mick retorted.  "Well the TV was on, I happened to mention he was cute get over it!" 

Lisa cringed, ewwww!

"You also said the same about the police officer, Scarlet, the bartender..." 

"You are just jealous." Claire scoffed.

"JEALOUS! I'll freeze your ass in a place where fires die!" A loud crash sounded through the apartment followed by a explosion. 

Lisa scrambled out of the apartment and never looked back. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- After that incident, Lisa rationalize it was a natural lovers quarrel and that the two would work it out, therefore there was no need to tell anyone. That because of her honest assumption it was a lover's quarrel or her pride not letting her admit that her match might not have been as successful, it was up to anyone's guess but a phone call three days later confirmed the worst case scenario. 

It was the middle of the day and Lisa was online shopping using the money she stole from a heist earlier that month when Cisco called.

"Lisa, have Mick and Claire been having any trouble that you know of? Any that you feel like warning us about?" Cisco asked, calmly with a slight edge that gave Lisa a sinking feeling. Best to play it dumb.

"Uh just some spats but you know. Couples fight, they fight. Why do you ask?" Lisa chirped. 

"Well you should know that you're little pet project has gone up in flames." Lisa rolled her eyes. Wonder how long he was waiting to use that pun? "Heatwave was stealing from the Central City bank when Volcana stopped by, something about how "she was better than him" and was trying to one-up his heist. Thankfully we were able subdue them both. Mick's back with the Legends and Claire was sent back to Earth Three. No one knows she came from Earth Three except you, me and the Flash. You and I are the only ones that know how she actually got here." 

"All's well that ends well," Lisa weakly smiled.  She could just feel him glare through the phone. "We're going to talk when I get home." ---------------------------------------------------------------- "So what are we not doing?" Cisco asked pacing in front of her as she sat on his couch. 

"Match making Mick with a pyro." Lisa muttered.  "And...." 

"Match making Mick with anyone." 

"And...." 

"Match making in general." "Ever.” Cisco said.  "Ever," Lisa repeated. 

[neighborhood-merc]

It is I, and I am back with more a new list of fanfics for this wonderful ship called SpideyPool. 

Listen, I don’t know why I’m doing this as well (maybe because I fuckin love these boys and want to share my fave fanfics of their ship to everyone...or whatever) but here we are. [ Here are Part 1, 3 btw! ]  

Same shit applies:

The themes of the stories on this list varies, I’m either into something heart-warming, fluffy, domestic that sort of stuff or into some really really heavy and dark messed up ones. It always depends on the mood am I right? *wink wink*

It’s always gonna be smutty though lol

As long as it’s tastefully written, whatever kinky shit, I can be into it, I don’t judge the writer. With that being said if I add something straight up messed up here now/or in the future, don’t judge too, just mind the tags of the fic, for your own discretion if anything.

this list should be Wade Wilson/Peter Parker - Spiderman/Deadpool pairing only. I kinda like my babies greedy/possessive for/of each other.

I don’t care who tops or bottoms.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Summaries are taken directly from the fanfic’s summary.

Read the tags first!

Wolves [ Update: Sadly, the fic has been deleted :( ] (This is WIP, but I swear it’s so fucking good you should read it. It’s a Prison AU, and the writing is sublime)  Peter is falsely accused and sent to jail, where he meets the violent ex-mercenary, Wade.

Don't Forget To Check Your Calendar! Peter REALLY should remember to check his calendar or Peter forgets that he has a heat coming up, and in doing so causes several sticky situations to occur (thank god for Tony's NDA's).

Communication Error “Have you seriously been doing this bit for a year now?” “Bit… what bit?” Wade looked at him, confused. “This,” Peter waved his hand, “the 'we’re dating' bit.” There was a pause, and then suddenly, it was like Wade’s whole body imploded. His shoulders sunk and his head dropped and suddenly Peter knew he’d made a huge mistake. “Hahaha, yeah, the dating bit.” He held up the wine. “One year of one really bad, horrible joke.”

Night Off Wade is taking the night off when a certain Spider calls for help.

The Great Florist, Wade Wilson (this ones got a Sequel) Deadpool has found the apartment belonging to Spiderman. Or Peter Parker, if the name on the door is anything to go by. Now some people might use this information of said secret identity wrongly. Normally Wade would have been one of them. But this is different. This is Spider-Parker, I-mean, Peter-man, I-mean, fuck. Now Deadpool just have to figure out exactly what he is gonna do with this information. Which is quite simple really. He's going to leave Spidey flowers and win his heart this way or the one, where Deadpool spams Spiderman with flowers, and Spiderman has no idea what's going on

Tale As Old As Time, Song As Old As Rhyme (This belongs to the series  “A Spider in the Pool”) It is absolutely fucking good, I recommend you read them. Do read the warnings though yeah?) Peter Parker gradually falls for Wade's dubious charms. They have a lot of hang ups and kinks to negotiate, but with sex this hot, Peter can't help wanting more. Erotica with significant plot and relationship development.

Help Me, Peter Parker, You’re My Only Hope! “I need your help,” Wade admitted. “And why would I help you?” Peter asked with an amused chuckle. “Because, um, I asked you? Isn’t it what you do? Help people who ask for it?”

Damage Peter Parker finds himself in a sticky situation and who should show up to rescue him but the infamous Deadpool? Now Peter feels indebted to the mercenary... And maybe weirdly charmed by him.

I'm Serious Wade wants Peter to top. But he really, really doesn't know how to ask.

Shake it out (this series is a good boi)

Sick Days  "Wade." "Mr. Rogers." They stared at each other, one calm and silent in his fury while the other looked like a deer about to be pummeled by an eighteen-wheeler. "I'm sure you have a reason for being in my son's bed without a shirt on?"

Love Me Dead Peter tries to tell Wade his feelings. It's kind of a train-wreck.

Disgusting -Spideypool (5+1) This is a Wade Centric fic containing topics of mental health struggles and self image. Nothing too graphic but still.

Flip the Safety They both get a little carried away when they fight, but this time Wade grins over his gun and the worst part is that Peter knows he doesn’t plan on shooting him.

Do It Yourself “I bet you’re flexible enough to suck your own dick.” Wade plants that thought in Peter's head and he can't help where curiosity leads him.

Looking for a savior in these dirty streets  (WADE YOU LITTLE SHIT LOL) what's your opinion on eating ass? just looking for a yes or noThat's the text Peter gets when he's in a meeting with Anna Maria, trying his hardest to get back to running a company a few months after an unexpected trip to the underworld.

Act your age (not your shoe size) “Wanna go grab some grub? I have it on good authority there's some qual-a-tee Mexican around here.”Peter’s mouth drops open. “Uh, you always invite guys you just met out for lunch?” Deadpool laughs and leans forward. The words are muffled when he says, “Only the ones I meet in movie theaters.”

That's the power of love (cute af fic) “Yeah, so, about that. Nice to meet ya, I’m Wade Wilson but def not your Wade Wilson although I gotta say, I’m jealous of the asshole.”

Baby, i’d victoria your secret anytime (another good boy) Peter’s known Wade for a while now, so he can maybe see how this makes sense -- like, maybe Wade has a thing about going commando and just happened to have an old girlfriend’s panties lying around, one thing led to another…but…“And the bra?” Peter croaks.

It's The Alcohol Talking It wasn't every day that Wade came across a drunk-off-his-ass Spider-man.

Marco (this is fuckin’ hurt ok???) Spidey was fine. Everything was going to be fine.

Took no time with the fall (Part One of “wasn’t looking for this” series) When the Avengers had briefed him on Deadpool, they played up the Kills People for Money and Has No Real Morals angle and left out the Is Pretty Damn Funny and Charming in a Weird, Terrifying Sort of Way part.Or, five times they meet on rooftops plus one time they take it to the streets*

Now you're in my way (Part Two of “wasn’t looking for this” series) Wade's been with the Avengers for four months. The two of them have been together for five.Their relationship consists of taco-based dates, a ton of sex, and, well, Avenging.

The Stalking of Wade Wilson "It’s around this point that a niggling thread of thought worms its way into his head when he’s not paying attention, one that gently suggests that Wade might be slightly less of a bad guy than Peter previously thought."

Seeing the real you (it's not what I imagined) "The fuck,“ Deadpool said slowly. He was staring at him in a way that made Peter feel decidedly uncomfortable, and this was saying something, considering Deadpool had a habit of leering at him at the most inappropriate times. "Are you kidding me?" he eventually gasped. "How OLD are you? Twelve?“

I'll Always Protect You Anonymous said: If anyone is up for it I have a rescue prompt idea where Peter (he is not in his spiderman suit) is taken as a hostage with a gun to the head along with a few other civilians. Peter is warning the criminals to let everyone go otherwise his fiance,Wade, will kill them all. They mock him and beat him up. Then a furious Deadpool saves Peter by the most badass way possible. Also I would love if someone write how unnervingly skilled Wade is as a mercenary. Please? Anyone?

Your ass is mine  Spidey takes a toilet break while on patrol. He wasn't expecting Wade to join him.

When I'm Inside You Spiders are hard to catch. When Deadpool manages to pin one down on an NYC rooftop, he thinks he deserves a prize.

Daddy It had started as a joke, which was conveniently how most of these things always happened.

Any Means Necessary Anonymous said: Abo au where Peter is a young mutant who both displayed his heat early before his adolscent stage and spidey powers that went out of haywire the moment his heat started, leaving him to thrash around the city, running away from his family. Wade Wilson, an alpha, who happens to be a professional mercenary for hire, is now paid to catch this mutant, and try and calm him down by “any means necessary” because Peter, even as an omega is swrecking havoc amongst the city. [ 1/2 ] Of course, Wade takes those words seriously, and decides to just do that solution by first, capturing and drugging the young omega, and then, placing him in what could be described as a special and adjustable breeding stand in Wade’s attempts to calm Peter down. [ 2/2 ]

One Fear (Two Fear), Red Rear (Pink Rear) (Note: Now this is where “read the tags first” is applicable af. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you dude) Anonymous said: Hello, another one for you: Deadpool adopts MCU Spidey and treats him like his actual child. That is until Peter starts growing up more and Wade can't help but feel attracted to him. At around age 15, Peter starts actively trying to seduce Wade. Wade resists, but in the end gives in. My kingdom for hardcore daddy kink, Sub!Peter, Wade calling him a good boy/baby boy. 

Wo Rauch Ist (this fic is fucking gold) "Someone needs to write a ‘the fire alarm went off at 3 am and now the cute guy from the flat next door is standing next to me in his underwear’ AU" 

[jbuffyangel]

Strength: Arrow 8x05 Review (Prochnost)

We’re headed back to Russia for some Queen family vacation fun, except their version of “fun” is kidnappings and fight clubs.

Let’s dig in…

Oliver, Mia and William

Do you remember how we used to pray for a scene of Oliver teaching Felicity the bow and arrow? 

The scenes with Helena fueled my hate fire for years. The closest we ever came to Olicity “training” was Oliver offering Felicity a few punching pointers

and the glorious salmon-ladder-leads-to-sex scene.

I’m not complaining! All I’m saying is we could’ve had a bow-and-arrow-training-leads-to-sex scene too. I have several insert-scenario-here-leads-to-sex scene ideas this show has yet to explore.

Anyway, if we can’t have Felicity training with Oliver then second best is their daughter training with Oliver. The intro to “Prochnost” is almost three minutes long and it’s pure fan fiction from start to finish.  

Source: felicitysmoakgifs 

Oliver teaches Mia how to tennis ball and uses cooking as analogy before he remembers she’s 50% Smoak.

It is clear Mia still has a lot to learn not only from a vigilante perspective, but also in terms of her archer skills.  

When we met Oliver Queen in the pilot his skill set was perfected. He was a fully formed bad ass. 

We haven’t seen Mia train other than a montage with Nyssa Al Ghul in 7x16 and I am thoroughly enjoying there’s still a lot she can learn from her father.

Source: 1-crazy-dreamer

Oliver reviews all of his trick arrows with Mia, but doesn’t want them to become a crutch. 

Source: lucyyh 

What he doesn’t say is trick arrows became more of a necessity in disabling criminals after killing them was no longer an option. We’ve come a long way with Oliver Queen. If you had told me father/daughter training sessions were in our future when I watched the pilot then I would’ve laughed you out of the room because that’s a special brand of CRAZY.

Of course, a training scene without the stick thingies wouldn’t be a training scene on Arrow. 

Source: miasmoakdaily

Yes, I know there’s a technical term for the stick thingies, but if I haven’t learned it by now do you think I ever will? No is the right answer.

Oliver: Nyssa taught you well.

Mia: Mom made sure of it.

I think Arrow makes an important point during this scene. Nyssa Al Ghul is good, but she’s no Oliver Queen. There’s been many seasons where it feels like the writers down played Oliver’s skills to give the other team members something to do *cough*L*urelLance*cough*. 

However, the writers seem particularly focused on showing how Oliver’s skills are a whole other level now. Remember, he’s the guy who killed Ra’s Al Ghul – probably the greatest fighter of all time. It’s why Riccardo Diaz being a formidable threat was so laughable. When Felicity reached out to Nyssa she was asking the best for help, but there truly is no substitute for Oliver Queen.

Source: miasmoakdaily 

Mia “The Machine” Smoak-Queen (her official title btw) doesn’t need a break, but I love how Oliver worries about her nonetheless. DADDY OLIVER IS SO SOFT.

Source: amunetblack

Mia gently reins in William’s ramble and this is the brother/sister banter I am here for. Look, I know we’ve clocked a season and a half with these kids and I should be used to moments where they remind me of Oliver and Felicity, BUT I CAN’T GET USED TO IT. It still fills me with absolute glee anytime it happens.

Children are individuals with unique personalities, but one of the more fun aspects of parenting is seeing traits of other family members, or maybe even yourself, emerge in the child you’re raising. I feel the same glee when my daughter reminds me of my husband or mother. And since William and Mia are my fictional TV children why should I be any different?

There’s a Curtis reference in this scene, so naturally I doze off when that happens, but the cliff notes version is the energy wave that destroyed Earth 2 can be recreated. There’s a Russian general trying to replicate it via pulse wave generator weapon and Team Arrow needs to get the plans.

I think. Plus they need plutonium which Diggle volunteers to get.

Oliver invites the kids to Russia with him and they are equally as shocked as I am. 

Really? We’re going to Russia? I mean, I know we’re going to Russia, but Oliver’s casual invitation makes this trip sound like the equivalent of a grocery store run. The kids are so excited to be invited they think they’re going to Disney World with Dad.

This is so not going to be Disney World. TELL THEM THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE DISNEY WORLD OLIVER.

Oliver: I’m a better man. Different man. I think I can teach them the good without showing them the bad.

Oliver thinks this is going to be Disney World. 

Diggle accurately points out visiting the place which was home to the darkest point of his life may not be as simple as Oliver would like it to be. His answer is equally wonderful and sooooo WRONG. It’s WONDERFUL Oliver believes he’s a better man. It took us 8 long years to get here and his statement is no small thing. Round of applause for our boy.

Unfortunately, this is where the wonderful ends. Oliver is determined to only show his children the good. I guess it sounds ok when he says it, but upon closer examination it misses the forest through the trees. Everything that happened to Oliver Queen, good and bad, has formed the person he is. He cannot extricate the bad from this story anymore than he can the good. They are a sticky wicket forever entwined together. Take out one and you don’t get the full picture. And what his children need and deserve is the full picture.

That’s not to say Oliver’s filter is entirely wrong. There are certainly topics and information children are not ready to hear, can’t understand, or wouldn’t be appropriate to tell them. Every parent has some kind of filter when raising their children because that’s what good parenting requires.

This is appropriate when children are small. As your child grows into an adult then your relationship with them must become more adult, which requires more transparency. This is the problem between Oliver and his children. He is parenting like William and Mia are still little. And they are not.

If plans for a pulse generator sound like a flimsy excuse to go to Russia then you’d be right. The real reason we’re going to Russia isn’t because of some rando general. It’s to say goodbye to one of Arrow’s greatest supporting characters - Anatoly Knyazev

“My brother.”

I block out most of Season 6 because half of it was a walking horror show, so I don’t remember where Oliver and Anatoly left things after he joined and then betrayed Team Bad Guy. 

I guess their cool now? I don’t really want to spend all kinds of time on Oliver and Anatoly hashing out their issues, so if a hug gets the job done then I’m good. Also William speaks Russian. Queen men speaking foreign languages is hot.

A+ reaction Steve. 

Source: arrowdaily 

Anatoly was bored in the Maldives, now owns a bar and has a delicious pina colada recipe so that pretty much catches us up on him. He offers to help find Burov, but Oliver doesn’t want Anatoly’s “friends” involved because they are Bratva and he’s not discussing the bad parts of Russia with his children. I think the good parts of Russia ended at pina colada, Oliver. See how this is going to be a problem?

The best place to meet up with Burov is a local fight club. This prompts William to share where he met his baby sister and gives us Oliver’s best dad reaction to date. 

Source: 1-crazy-dreamer 

Bless you William. You do God’s work my boy.

Mia: Why did you bring us on this mission if you aren’t going to let us help?

Oliver: This is the Bratva. They are terrible people and you guys are my kids.

Mia: Yes, but we’re not children.

Oliver: Well you are when I look at you.

Aww… my sweet, lovable, wonderful Oliver. 

Do we ever stop looking at our children as children? Probably not. I know I will always be my parents’ baby girl and my daughter will always be mine. It is difficult to fully accept a human being as an adult when you’ve changed their diapers. And in Oliver’s defense he changed Mia’s diaper about five minutes ago in the present timeline, regardless of the future adults standing before him. We must give him some time to… adjust.

But Mia is Mia and doesn’t listen to anyone, other than William (SOUND FAMILIAR?) and he’s firmly on her team this week, so they go to the fight club and watch Dad in action. Mia has heard the stories of her father all her life but seeing him in action is an eye-opening experience. She is difficult to impress, but her dad is AWESOME. Yeah, we think so too honey. Welcome to stanning Oliver Queen.

Source: olivergifs

Unfortunately, the Bratva aren’t cool with the deal Oliver made with Burov and kidnap him along with Mia. Her Spidey sense was tingling, so she went to check on dad. Oops.

Source: feilcityqueen 

If there is one lesson the Arrow villains consistently fail to learn it’s DO NOT MESS WITH PEOPLE OLIVER QUEEN LOVES. He gets very angry and wildly unpleasant, which leads to many broken bones and occasionally murder. You put hands on Felicity Smoak and even I’m down with Oliver ripping off your head.

Of course, Oliver wakes from unconsciousness and his immediate question is if Mia is okay. Can’t-Admit-I’m-In-Love-With-You Oliver, 

Boyfriend Oliver,

Fiance Oliver, 

Ex-boyfriend Oliver, 

Husband Oliver, 

and Dad Oliver  are all the same Olivers.

Mia doesn’t understand why everyone in Russia knows who Oliver is and quickly deduces Dad was Bratva. Our princess is a smart cookie! Oliver is ticked Mia didn’t listen to him and there is truly no greater justice in the world than God creating a child who is exactly like you. Robert and Moira are having themselves a nice little chuckle.

Source: lucyyh 

The Bratva threatens to torture Mia if Oliver doesn’t tell them what’s on the zip drive. Mia is very brave and tells Daddy not to say anything. Pfft. Not likely Little Miss Square Bear. He points a gun at Oliver’s precious girl and counts down from five. The Green Arrow breaks like a pretzel. Honestly, I’m shocked Oliver didn’t give the guy the whole store after four.

Source: olicitygifs 

Unfortunately, nobody believes Oliver is telling the full story and a very large knife is brandished in Mia’s direction. Seriously? The one-time Oliver tells the truth he’s accused of lying. How ironic is that? The goon was at least 20 feet away from Mia, but Daddy was ready to flay him alive seven different ways. 

Oh. He was only cutting the restraints. Okay, we’ll knock down the flaying to five different ways.

The Bratva force Mia to play the Ring the Bell game. I don’t know if that’s what it’s called, but it works for my purposes. Oliver is very much HELL NO CHILD, but really her only other option is death. Of course, if she doesn’t ring the bell she dies too. ISN’T RUSSIA FUN? 

Mia kicks major ass, but is unable to ring the bell in under 60 seconds. This might have something to do with her wasting time to look back at the clock and then waiting an additional 3 seconds to reach for the friggin bell, but that’s just details. Be less stupid Arrow.

The Bratva don’t shoot her because… they’re nice gang of Russian mobsters now? 

Source: arrowdaily

This made very little sense other than Arrow doesn’t want to shoot the female lead of their new television show. On second thought, good enough for me. Oliver shoots death daggers at the man who scared the friggin bejesus out of him and it’s pretty much a certainty he will be flayed eight different ways.

William has a full-on panic attack over his father and sister’s kidnapping and it’s pretty much the cutest thing ever.  Then L*urel actually provides some necessary and helpful information. Is that the second week in a row this happened? I’m scared fandom. Hold me.

L*urel: Aren’t the people in your family constantly injecting each other with tracking devices?

William: Normally I would say God I hope not, but now I guess I can see the advantages.

He’s able to track them down, but L*urel and Anatoly show up right after Oliver has already freed himself by dislocating his thumbs. I love that trick. Mia’s reaction is the perfect combination of horrified and impressed. She really wants that trick to be on the next lesson plan.

Mia is bumming hard over not ringing the bell and boozes it up with some scotch. THY NAME IS GENETICS.

Oliver has had enough of his kids almost dying and is putting their asses on a plane back home BECAUSE THIS ISN’T DISNEY WORLD. 

William jumps firmly on Team Mia and reminds their father he’d be dead without them. Oliver has been dislocating his thumbs on his own for awhile now children. I think he’d survive without your help.

It’s time to set these kiddies straight.

Source:  oliverxfelicity

Mia tries to argue the whole adults saving the city angle, but that’s not going to fly in this timeline cupcake. 

In this timeline, Oliver smooshed those perfect chubby cheeks one more time before he left to save the universe 

Source:  oliverxfelicity 

and his rebelling teenage son, who was ousted from the present storyline to make a ridiculous plot point work in the future storyline, ignored his phone calls. (I’m never getting over the whole William never moves in with Mia and Felicity thing. NEVER.)

So, all of his children can take several seats and do what they’re told or they will be grounded! That includes no computer for you, William and Oliver will be taking that bow and arrow back little miss Mia.

Side note: This was a perfect time for William to explain WHY he didn’t return any of Oliver’s calls or if he even received them, but NOPE. Why would these writers attempt to clean up this mess of a storyline with reasonable explanations? Better to just ignore the Grand Canyon sized plot holes and keep driving through. 

Stephen Amell does a wonderful job in this scene as Oliver’s voice quivers with emotion. He’s skating the edge of keeping his composure and losing it all together perfectly this season. Neither Mia nor William have offered much understanding for where Oliver is coming from. Yes, they are adults but 1) No matter how old they get they will always be Oliver’s children and 2) HE MISSED TWENTY YEARS.  

Oliver has been very clear this was not a choice he wanted to make. Mia and William are not the only ones who lost something precious. Oliver lost a lot too. Part of being an adult is letting go of the natural narcissism we all have as children. So, if Mia and William want to put on their big boy and big girl pants then they need to show their father a little understanding and compassion.

Mia: And because you made the choice to protect us I had to spend my whole life alone. I didn’t have a chance to get to know my brother to get to know you.

Mia is not ready to do that yet. She throws Oliver’s choices in his face once again. He is still the one she wants to blame. If this reaction frustrates you then that’s understandable because Mia is supposed to be frustrating right now. It’s odd for us to be identifying through Oliver, but that’s what happens when the hero becomes fully evolved. This entire episode is about showing how much Mia still has to learn not only physically, but emotionally too.  

Source: oliverxfelicity

Oliver is getting used to Mia’s blame by now and it doesn’t really change his opinion on this situation. The worst part of this argument is Oliver believing his children hate him. His worst nightmare was Mia and William not understanding his choices and resenting him for it. Oliver’s greatest fear isn’t death. It is his children believing he abandoned them.

Mia being angry at Oliver over not growing up with William is really not his fault and it’s bizarre how the writers are insistent on lumping that in with everything else she’s ticked about. I did a deep dive on Mia’s emotional and psychological viewpoint last week and I won’t repeat it here because everything still stands. But how is Felicity never going back for William Oliver’s fault?

I’m not putting the blame on Felicity here either. It’s a ludicrous plot point that makes absolutely no sense, so it’s pointless to even try to argue the logic. And yet, that’s exactly what the writers keep trying to do. But it merely shines a brighter spotlight on their illogical reasoning behind the decision.

We are already sympathizing with Oliver because we know how heartbroken he was to leave his children. We know he sacrificed everything for a bunch of ungrateful twats who caught a lucky break for existing in the universe. But forcing Mia’s character to continually blame Oliver for EVERYTHING can rapidly make this character unlikeable. Particularly since her father left to SAVE THE UNIVERSE. The writers need to tread carefully. This has the same nonsensical threads of the Season 4 break up. Or, even worse, Mia channeling the same the anger/blame/bitterness of Season 1 & 2 L*urel Lance. Nobody wants a repeat of those hot messes.

Oliver is floundering. He missed twenty years of his children’s lives. They’ve arrived from a different time as adults. Oliver was still learning how to be a parent and then the universe flipped the board. He has no idea how to do this and the one person who can help him isn’t here. If there was ever a time Oliver needed his Felicity this is it.

So, the only guiding light Oliver has right now is the promise he made his wife and mother of his children. 

Source: oliverxfelicity 

Not to get too nitpicky on the details Oliver, but as @callistawolf​ pointed out in our Watchover episode of 8x05, we never heard him make any promises to Felicity about the children. 

In their final goodbye, it was Felicity promising Oliver to do whatever was necessary to keep their children safe (re: Nyssa Al Ghul). So, let’s just create our own head canon there was some Olicity discussion about the future kids being in present day off screen and he made the promise to her then. Cool? Cool.

OR Oliver is merely trying to score points in an argument via emotional manipulation, which hey man. More power to you. Whatever it takes to keep kiddos safe, I guess. I did have to chuckle about Oliver keeping his promises to Felicity NOW that she’s off the show. Where was this guy in 6x23? Or maybe I sobbed quietly. Probably a little of both. Regardless of the reasoning, it’s an EPIC speech. Dad for the win.

Oliver decides it’s time to get boozy. Amen brother. Pass the scotch. 

Anatoly is no Felicity Smoak, but in the ever-spinning weekly wheel of characters trying to fill her role, he asks the obvious question. Is Oliver sending his children home because he believes they cannot handle Russia/vigilantism/life?

Of course, the answer has been obvious from the moment Oliver decided to only share the good. It’s not about what his children can handle. This is about what Oliver can handle.

Anatoly: That is understandable. You’re ashamed. You have truly done some terrible things.

Oliver: Thank you for the reminder.

Anatoly: But you also have done some good things. It’s important that the kids see both.

Can’t you just hear Felicity Smoak saying these lines? Only in an adorable ramble and less booze? I miss her. Just leaving this here.

I absolutely understand Oliver’s refusal to share the darkest moments of his past. It’s not like my dad has gone chapter and verse into his Vietnam experiences. But I know he was there. I know some of the stories. Maybe Oliver doesn’t need to go into detail about the time he skinned a guy, but he can be honest with his children about being in the Bratva.

Anatoly: That’s the thing about teaching. It’s not about what you want to say. It’s about what they need to hear.”

This part of the speech is all Anatoly. 

Source: 1-crazy-dreamer 

He taught Oliver living was not for the weak because this was the lesson Oliver needed to hear.  Maybe he missed out on teaching William and Mia how to tie their shoes or ride a bike, but nobody understands what it means to be a hero better than Oliver Queen. The Crisis is coming and if Oliver is marching slowly but steadily to his death then he must pass on all he’s learned. There is still so much to teach Mia and William about Oliver’s life and who he is. Those lessons can only come from their father.  What William and Mia need to hear is the truth.

“You were so little. I think that’s what I’ve always wanted all these years. Is for you just to stay little, quiet and safe. But you’re not any of those things. You’re loud and fearless and it scares the crap out of me.” Derek Shepherd, Grey’s Anatomy

His children are loud and fearless and it scares the crap out of Oliver Queen. But there’s a deeper fear driving his hesitation. Oliver is afraid that if he tells Mia and William the truth about his past then they’ll only hate him more. He is constantly afraid of losing his children’s love.

But truth is the path to understanding. Anatoly is right. Oliver must give Mia and William a chance. The real truth is there’s nothing he has done or will ever do that will make his children stop loving him. Sure, Mia is angry at Oliver, but she’s only angry because she loves him. She craves her father’s approval more than anything.

Oliver changes his parenting tactic. He cannot shield his children from the very life they have chosen for themselves. He asks Mia to fight in the ring with him and William to help get them in. Oliver treats his children like they are part of the team – like partners.

Mia has been trying to show her father what she’s capable of since the moment she came to the present. Underneath all that anger and blame, is a little girl who just wants to make her daddy proud. What Mia needs to realize is she already makes Oliver proud merely by existing. However, he offers her the support and belief she’s been craving as they enter the ring together. 

Source: oliverxfelicity

The look on her face says everything about how Mia truly feels about her dad.

Source: arrowdaily

FATHER DAUGHTER FIGHT CLUB. From the moment, we met Blackstar in the ring I hoped she was Olicity’s daughter and we would somehow, someway get a scene of Oliver and Mia teaming up. But I never imagined these circumstances. It’s awesome.

After kicking butt as a team and a family, Oliver opens the door to his past and lets his children walk through. And what better place to start than the beginning?

Source: olivergifs

The truth is a tie that binds and it will be the foundation of Oliver’s relationship with his children. Something he never had with his parents until it was too late.

And did William and Mia stop loving Oliver after they heard the truth? No. They understand him better and love him all the more for what he’s survived. 

Mia: Don’t forget to send me that picture of my dad with that haircut.

Anatoly: Don’t forget to ask about Bratva tattoo. We have matching.

Oliver: Used to. Used to actually.

William: Oh I’m gonna need to hear that story immediately.

Well... son this raving loony burned my tattoo off my chest after several hours of torture. 

The warm banter of this scene isn’t to make light of what Oliver Queen suffered. It’s to show the power of telling our stories. Pain and fear lose control over us, bit by bit, the more we talk about it and share with our loved ones. We let them inside the good and bad, so we don’t have to carry it by ourselves anymore. Overtime, we begin to see our suffering for what it is - something we survived. Children, in particular, have an ability to find the light in the dark. We can see our life through their eyes and remarkably, yes even find the humor in what was once unspeakable pain. And come on - Oliver’s flashback hair is always funny.

Family is the source of Oliver’s strength. It always has been. It’s what helped him survive the unsurvivable.

He can only become his children’s strength by teaching them how he became a better man. William and Mia can only understand who their father is, and how to be heroes, by knowing the good and the bad. Hiding either tarnishes the beauty of his story. Oliver is finally strong enough to tell it and his children are strong enough to hear it. And that’s how the past, present and future will find harmony, acceptance, forgiveness and love.

Source: oliverxfelicity

Diggle and Roy

John enlists Roy’s help obtaining the plutonium.

 Source: thistributeisonfire

We’re going to run through this pretty quick because this storyline is all about getting Colton Haynes back on Team Arrow for the final episodes. 

Diggle tells Roy what happens to him in the future. The cure for Roy’s bloodlust wasn’t hiding out on Lian Yu for 20 years. It was rejoining the team and fighting for the city again.

Diggle: Maybe this time you don’t have to wait that long.

Diggle’s ENTIRE motivation is to change Roy’s future and it’s not difficult to figure out why. Obviously John cares about Roy and wants to help him. However, Roy also makes a very good test case. Diggle is also desperate to change Connor, JJ and Zoe’s future as well. If they can make their own hope in the present then maybe things can be different for his children in the future.

Source: 1-crazy-dreamer

We all need love and support. None of us can truly survive on our own - particularly when we are suffering. Roy fights John at first, but eventually he comes to realize he’s right. Roy found purpose and family when he met Oliver so it makes sense to him they are the reason he gets better. So why wait? He comes home and begins the path to healing twenty years earlier. And thus, a major storyline from Season 7 flash forwards begins to change.

ROY MADE SENSE Y’ALL!!! 

L*urel L*nce

I truly could not figure out why L*urel was in Russia. I guess to help Oliver track down these plans, but she spent the better part of the episode staring at her fingernails. That’s not even an exaggeration. KC stared at her fingernails for an entire scene.

Source: thistributeisonfire 

Her interactions with Oliver are even more bizarre.

Source: 1-crazy-dreamer 

I’m sorry, but does L*urel go here? Bl*ck S*ren has been on the show since Season 5. You’d think at this point she’d know Oliver Queen can easily handle one guy twice his size. I’m chalking up this stupidity to the acting version of a layup, so Stephen Amell can spike it with the epic comeback of, “I’ll give him half a chance.”

I guess L*urel is primarily in Russia to betray Oliver Queen and steal the plans or something, per Lyla’s instructions.

LL: And here I thought I was supposed to be the bad guy.

At last count Lyla never murdered innocent people, so I think she's still ahead by the numbers Bl*ck S*ren.  This is the problem with L*urel’s character this year. The comparisons her character makes this season are INSANE. Putting on a new suit and calling yourself Bl*ck C*nary doesn’t automatically make you morally superior to everyone.

At least when Season 7 L*urel was playing attorney she had a healthy perspective on herself.  I was a big fan of the snark last season and found her character to be refreshingly amusing in her biting honesty, but this year the writers lost the snarky humor and have gone straight to obnoxious hypocrisy and judgment.  Sometimes she’s just downright mean in a way none of the other characters deserve. Yes, Lyla is being shady, but this in no way erases the horrors of your past L*urel. 

L*urel: If saving it means going back to the person I used to be then what the hell is the point?

We all know this whole betray Oliver thing the Monitor is playing at with L*urel is a trick. She’s not going to betray Oliver and prove herself a worthy and useful hero.  Ok. Whatever. I know I’m supposed to get excited about her big speech, but this line kind of gnawed at me. 

L*urel is unwilling to save an ENTIRE EARTH because she’d have to do something shady. She’s not willing to do any dirty work if it sullies her good name. So, Earth 2 only matters as long as L*urel gets to be a hero on it? I guess I should be happy L*urel is holding onto her moral center, but if there’s anything Oliver Queen’s story has taught us sometimes heroism requires doing unpleasant things for the greater good.

Take Lyla for example – a person L*urel feels quite comfortable judging. Lyla has been lying to her husband, something she does not want to do, for the greater good. I think we know enough about Lyla’s character by now that even though her actions are hurtful we can trust her reasons. 

LL’s primary function this week it seems is to rat Lyla out to Diggle and Oliver.

Source: stevesrogered

I guess we’re supposed to rejoice there’s no price L*urel is willing to pay for her morality, but this is still the same person who has yet to take any responsibility for the people she’s murdered. The line just sounded so arrogant and self serving to me. I don’t know. Maybe it was just KC’s delivery.

It’s been difficult for me to imagine what role either L*urel or Dinah will play in the spin off and seeing as how the writers are struggling to find a purpose for their characters in the final season of Arrow I am not encouraged. That said, L*urel’s scene with Mia was one of the few bright spots for her character in this week’s episode.  Mia believes she’s not cut out to be a hero because she failed to ring the bell like her father and Zoe’s death still weighs heavily on her conscious.

Mia: Every time I try and live up to my dad or to prove I can do what it is you all do. I fail.

L*urel: If you’re trying to live up to us, don’t. We are just as flawed as anyone. Especially me. All you can do is live up to yourself.

Damn L*urel. That was really good advice and a truthful reflection of the person you are. CAN WE HAVE THIS ATTITUDE CONSISTENTLY WEEK TO WEEK PLEASE WRITERS? This is the first time I can see a version of L*urel working in the spin off, but that’s always the problem with the writing of her character. We never know which version we’re going to get.

Season 8 is slipping back into very bad Season 1 habits. There’s a lack of cohesiveness with L*urel and they really need to get this sorted out before the new show hits the air. Otherwise, we’re going to have the same problem we’ve always had with her character. No matter how many versions of L*urel’s character these writers create they never figure out who she truly is because they don’t want to devote the necessary screen time. This leaves us with a half baked canary every single time.

If L*urel is going to play Rupert Giles to Mia’s Buffy in the spin off then this scene is a good indication of how it could work, but that’s only if this path stays on track which seldom happens with this character. The key to LL is a very specific supporting role. She worked great in Season 7 because her focus was getting Oliver Queen out of jail. Then,it was about fleshing out her redemption and shipping her back to E2 to make amends.

L*urel lacks a concrete To Do list this year. They toss her into scenes and she takes up space looking at her fingernails. Or she arrives a few minutes after Oliver frees himself to scream down a door he could have easily opened. Or she says something hypocritical and nasty. REALLY? This is the best these writers can come up with? Sadly, history points to yes.

Keep her scenes short. Keep her scenes specific. Keep her scenes supporting. That’s the only way this character works. And believe me I wish it was different, but there doesn’t seem to be any version of L*urel L*nce these writers can keep a handle on.

You know what I appreciate about this scene between Anatoly and William though? Anatoly addresses his less than honorable past and apologizes. I can’t fully remember what Anatoly did to William - I think it might have been related to kidnapping or a bomb or a nuke or all three. See? I told you I don’t remember S6. My point is - can we expect an apology from L*urel for being an accessory to William’s mother’s murder? I won’t hold my breath. It would be extremely helpful if they addressed LL’s past in an honest way and actually had her show remorse to one of her victims, but again that requires more screen time and effort than this show is ever will to give her character.

SO WHY DO THEY KEEP HER AROUND?

Stray Thoughts

Connor isn’t in this week’s episode because he’s checking in on Sandra. Soooo… Connor can visit his mother but Mia and William can’t visit theirs? I know this is yet another EBR plot hole, but find a better reason for Connor to be MIA writers. It just makes the Smoak-Queen family look uncaring, which we know they are not. And if Connor can get an off camera mother moment mention then why can’t Mia and William? THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT ANNOY ME.

“Has anyone fought six men before?” Mia and Oliver’s side eye is hilarious, but didn’t Mia fight six goons by herself? And we’ve watched Oliver take down twenty without breaking a sweat. Raise the number in the ring a little if you want me to take their hesitation seriously.

Diggle is absolutely horrified to find out Lyla is working against the team with The Monitor. “I didn’t want to believe it was true.” Boy, really? Who are you kidding? This is Lyla Michaels, super spy. She’s been lying and doing shady things from minute one. She’s the Oliver to your Felicity. Get out of here with that nonsense. This is totally something she would do and you know it. Lol

William doesn’t like the field, but the allure of beautiful couture convinces him otherwise. At least he didn’t have to go on a skeevy date with Ray Palmer to wear it. Source:  felicitysmoakgifs

William’s “Wrap it up” sign while Mia was fighting was such a funny and wonderful way of showing their team within a team.

“I can be the fun uncle.” Raise your hand if you want Anatoly as a fun uncle. 

He was a complicated, but ultimately wonderful character who made Arrow a better show. 

Goodbye Anatoly. I will miss you. source:  oliverxfelicity

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[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Amazing Mary Jane #1 Thoughts

Apologies for not getting to this, or indeed other of the recent comics sooner. I’ve felt unwell recently and had computer troubles which conspired to delay my reading and writing up about this.

As such this is possibly going to not be as nitty gritty as I maybe usually would do as I’m going off memories a bit.

TL:DR version is, it’s good with one, albeit notable, flaw.

And Hell let me get that out of the way immediately.

Why...isn’t Mary Jane informing Peter that she’s working alongside a bunch of criminals?

Now look...I’m willing to give the story and Leah Williams the benefit of the doubt. MAYBE Mary Jane is playing a long game here or something. But if she’s not...I mean...that’s kind of a big problem with the story isn’t it?

MJ is allowing actual criminals, including Mysterio, to roam free. Worse she’s arguably doing that because she wants to make the movie and have it be a success but...isn’t that rather irresponsible and selfish, to say nothing of dangerous to herself. Of course MJ is a bad ass and can handle herself. But she is literally surrounded by criminals including a guy who Spidey usually only beats because he has a magical danger sense to help him out. Unless she engages in some Batman levels of cunning she wouldn’t realistically survive this situation.

Now again MAYBE there is something more going on, I very much hope so and am waiting eagerly to see that, but if there isn’t it’s going to be a huge thing working against this series quality.

However apart from that literally everything else was firing on all cylinders.

It’s difficult to do anything other than gush.

First of all the artwork is fantastic. It’s like if Todd Nauch and Ramos had a kid and it looked stylized like Ramos but also how people should look like Nauck.

The characterization, exempting the one thing I spoke about, was also very much on point. I can’t recall Mysterio and MJ ever interacting much (if ever) before but the idea practically writes itself, it’s such a natural pairing!

The gag about being insured was great and clearly drawn from Leah Williams past experience in that business, I hope we get more of that.

MJ herself is presented very well. She’s confident, she’s serious, she’s determined, but also fun, upbeat and has dashes of goofiness and flirtation (with Peter I mean).

So far, so good Williams seems to have a strong grasp on her character (again sans that ONE problem I noted).

I especially liked how Mysterio wasn’t a typical thuggish villain like you’d imagine Scorpion or Electro being. For instance rather than make inappropriate remarks regarding MJ as the likes of Crusher Creel might do, he actually gets angry at the idea that she used sex to get her part. But here is the nuance in Williams writing. Because whilst it’d be typical to make Mysterio a thuggish villain like Rhino or Sandman or Electro, in it’s own way it also would’ve been typical to have made him a pseudo chivalrous villain who doesn’t tolerate sexism. Instead she sets that up but then veers to the side as Mysterio is actually angry at the idea that HE could be manipulated by sex (or ‘womanly wiles’ as he puts it) thus making Mysterio atypical but still most definitely a villain.

  The idea of Mysterio as the ‘artiste’ of the Spidey rogues has been milked very effectively starting with Spencer’s run and the idea that he and MJ could honestly connect through their passion for their art is a great bit of character writing. It tells us a little about who Mysterio is whilst also demonstrating MJ’s own social skills. Peter and Mysterio could never get along this way, and I know that because they started to in Webspinners #1 (which Mysterio’s movie is based upon btw) but the conversation got awkward and they walked away from one another.

Other stuff I liked was the subversion of expectations. I walked into this believing the plot would likely be that about us readers fearing for MJ as she didn’t realize who she was working for and thus how much danger she was in. But Williams simply had MJ figure that out almost immediately and now, besides the Savage Six, we don’t know where things are going to go and that’s a good thing.

By the way, isn’t it great that this is a story where yes MJ’s association with Spider-Man has led MJ into working with one of his enemies and arguably being exposed to danger from him, but she herself deduces that, then chooses to continue taking that risk and isn’t bothered by it? The real danger is coming from Mysterio’s enemies not Peter’s (okay they are technically Peter’s enemies too but you see what I mean). Literally just 2 years ago this would’ve been fuel for the ‘see they can’t be together because it’s too dangerous for her’ jackasses like Slott.

Now it should go without saying (but I will say it anyway) that the PeterxMJ scenes were delightful.

For a split second was thinking phone sex isn’t really in character for Spider-Man. But then I thought you know...MJ has in the past had the effect of loosening him up (see every kinky 90s thing artists did with them) and you could arguably say they were being somewhat ironic anyway. Of course the shipper in me liked it all the same. As I did with the 20 second dance party which I suspect will be trotted out many times in years to come within the MJ fan community. Appropriately it was referenced in the same scene as her crowing moment of awesome, the Chameleon (who appeared in ASM the same day) baseball bat incident. Williams knows her shit it seems!

Now there is one other thing I feel I should talk about.

There was a rather lengthy scene regarding the writing of MJ’s character that was clearly intended to be meta commentary upon the portrayal of female characters.

The question is what specifically was Williams passing commentary on?

How Mary Jane has usually been written?

How she has usually been written until this solo book of her’s?

How women in comics are usually written?

Or how women in films/comic book movies are portrayed?

I’m not sure. I think if it’s options 1 or 2 that’s rather unfair and not really looking at the nuance of the character.

But to be honest looking at this book and Williams’ own comments regarding MJ in interviews prior to this book’s release I don’t buy that. Williams’ comments combined with some of the deepcut continuity she references here doesn’t paint her as someone who thinks MJ is underdeveloped or who’s only purpose in the story is to serve Spider-Man’s story. Indeed any MJ fan worth their salt is aware that part of what made MJ successful and popular to begin with in the 1960s was that she precisely DIDN’T do that.

As such I think options 3 or much more pressingly option 4 is what Williams is commenting upon.

The condensed nature of comic book films mean that it’s a rarity for characters beyond the lead or the villains to get much of their own stories to play out. This is certainly the case with Michelle in the MCU Spider-Man movies and Emma Stone in the Webb movies. But curiously less the case with Dunst’s Mary Jane.

Let’s also consider that this story was promoted as talking about the movie business, something Williams has insider knowledge of and thus it makes sense she’s commenting upon and satirizing that as opposed to comic books (hence we got that insurance gag early on).

In a sense you could say she’s using Mary Jane as a (logical and entirely in character) mouthpiece to comment upon how female characters in movies like Mysterio’s are more like Gwen Stacy but should be more like her, Mary Jane.

Although I must admit the dialogue where they talk about her character int he movie lacking powers and such did confuse me. I didn’t get that.

So over all...yeah...this was great. Again there is one notable problem I hope gets addressed before everything is said and done but in every other way this thing is scoring touchdowns all the way.

Buy it!

Buy 2 copies!

Buy 2 copies and some variants, then get the digital edition and pre-order the trade!

P.S. Thanks to this new comic I learned a new word! Ingenue, gotta find a way to slip that into conversation some time.

[mtvswatches]

Jane the Virgin 2x19 Chapter Forty-One

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) Rose, Mutter and the crime ring were brought up in the “previously on” so this episode will bring them back, right?

2) And I guess Jane’s money-saving skills will be the focus of this episode, for some reason?

3) I thought he was being followed by criminals, not journalists…

4) “They mention the Marbella four times. I mean, you have a few murders in your hotel…” To be honest, they should just turn the Marbella into a murder hotel at this point and attract the true-crime aficionados.

5) “Is anybody shipping these two?” A WORLD OF NO.

6) So… Rafael claims he wants to be present in Mateo’s life and then when it’s his turn to take care of the kid, he leaves him with the babysitter because he has work to do. Rafael is an asshole.

7) Xiomara is going to audition for a role in Rogelio’s telenovela and I guess this is going to blow up in her face…

Of course, leave it to Rafael to have sex on top of a huge-ass picture of himself.

8) You know, Rafael, if you’re feeling guilted all the time maybe it’s because you are guilty. And now he wants to make a custody arrangement to make himself better. He will get his days with Mateo, but will he actually spend them with Mateo? I don’t think so…

9) Michael got fired. To help out, Jane asks for more shifts at work, and she now has to train Anezka. This will be fun.

10) Rogelio gives the role to Xiomara on the spot, and his generosity probably prevented him from foreshadowing the potential conflicts having Xiomara at his workplace when he’s having an affair with his producer could create.

11) Me when I learned that the lock-down in my country would be extended for two more weeks and that I would have to continue teaching all my classes remotely…

12) Now, this is exactly why I have issues with Jane’s characterization…

JANE: And then I pitched myself as a grad student and a T.A. and I said I’d do it for a thousand and she said yes. (…) Who knew there was this crazy business? Helping people with their college essays?

You’re either a good and decent person, or you’re morally corrupt and you own up to it. But Jane wants to have her cake and eat it, too. I feel this is the kind of thing she would probably frown upon if someone else was doing it. Yet, if she chooses to do it, it’s the best plan ever! Of course, you can be a good person and do the wrong thing, but you should have some qualms about it, which she doesn’t? And this is not the first time I’ve brought up this issue with Jane… Now, at this point, this is clearly one of her traits, but the show keeps painting her as the Good character, the Morally Correct character. And she isn’t?

13) Xiomara already knows Rogelio is sleeping with his writer because he did the “sex sniff.” To her credit, she’s trying to deal with it. She’s clearly upset, but she’s trying to “absorb” this new information. Hopefully, they will continue to be the poster children for mature relationships. Or it will turn into a horrible drama.

14) Btw, I’m really not into the “silent movie” style they’re using in this episode.

15) Jane and Rafael go to their mediation meeting with a conciliatory attitude, but that soon crumbles once they start discussing the specific details of a custody arrangement. They try to think of every point as “hypothetical”, but the reality is that all the hypotheticals will soon be a reality, and Jane and Rafael have very different opinions on how to raise Mateo and what their rights should be. I think this is going to end up badly.

16) Petra and Jane briefly discuss the issue of their children’s trusts, and while Rafael agreed for Jane to manage Mateo’s, when it came to Petra…

17) WHAT EVEN IS THIS SHOW! I NEED TO SEE IT!

18) Xiomara truly sucks at acting, and to Rogelio’s credit, he’s trying to be supportive and help her out. But he’s being too understanding, claiming they will fix all her mistakes in post-production, which will be impossible considering how terrible she was.

19) This will be a treat, I’m sure.

Jane is surprised to learn that she’s expected to write the essay for him, and how gullible and naïve should a person be to believe she was going to be paid a thousand dollars for coaching someone…?

20) Michael’s interview didn’t go well, and he decided to ask Rogelio for P.R. advice on how to handle the whole newspaper article thing, and Rogelio suggests the best approach is to wait till it blows over. I honestly thought he was going to ask Rogelio for a job?

21) OH MY GOD, THE CGI!

22) Petra confronts Rafael about the terms of the twins’ trust and he explains why her terms are different than Jane’s…

23) Jane gives the “coaching” job another chance, and I really hope she gets this douchey kid to write his own essay, but I wouldn’t bet on it.

24) Rogelio had to fire Xiomara, and she completely understands why. She even brings up the fact that it might be easier for her not to be around Rogelio and his writer, and she tells him that she thinks he really likes her. And yes, they haven’t disappointed me, they were absolutely grown-up about it. Xiomara even helped Rogelio realize his feelings for his writer (I keep calling her “writer” because I can’t remember her name, sorry…)

25) Anezka got a tip, for good service! She’s graduated! And now she’s marrying the salt shakers. Literally.

26) So… Jane didn’t get the white CIS douchebag to write his own essay, she wrote one for him about music – his passion – which I guess is supposed to make what she’s doing okay? Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. But I guess that after being confronted by the boy’s mother it will give her some perspective on how to make decisions for her own kid…

27) Yep.

JANE: I don’t want to be the kind of mom who gest in her kid’s way.

So, Rafael and Jane finally reach a compromise by trying to understand what’s important for each other and making concessions, so cool for them.

28) Rogelio tried to have the “where is this relationship going?” with his writer, and he got shut down quickly, she called the relationship casual, and I guess now we’ll get a lot of Rogelio pining over her, right?

29) Oh, Petra…

PETRA: We have a complicated history, which mostly involves me being horrible and Jane being a perfect human being and sometimes… sometimes, it gets to be too much.

Repeat after me: JANE 👏 IS 👏 NOT 👏 PERFECT 👏

Ugh, I hate that every character perceives her as such when she’s clearly far from it! In fact, sometimes she’s kind of the worst?

Petra at least owns up to her faults and is trying to redeem herself.

30) Anezka agrees with me, but I think she’s going to hatch up a plan to make Jane look imperfect…

31) What does this mean for Jane’s career?

32) Jane talked to Michael about not wanting to work her ass off during the time she is given to spend with Mateo, and yet again, Michael proved he’s a mature, level-headed partner. He told her she should’ve expressed these concerns to him, and that he doesn’t want her to have all the pressure on her shoulders. He got a job working for Rogelio as his chief of security.

33) Damn, Anezka is Petra’s sister, isn’t she?

I just hope Petra doesn’t get blamed for it…

34) YES, PETRA!!! YOU TELL HIM!!

RAFAEL: You have changed. I know that. It’s just a process. PETRA: Yeah, yeah, it is. And frankly, I think I’ve made more improvements than you. RAFAEL: Wait, what? PETRA: When you’re up against it, you still lie, instead of just coming clean, facing the consequences. I hope you change that soon.

35) No, Rafael, this is not what Petra meant, you stupid bimbo!

This is going to come back and bite him in the ass, I just know it.

36) Well…

This is either a misdirection, which is this show’s favorite plot device, or my prediction came true very quickly. Still, I’m zero invested in this storyline.

37) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[legionnaireslover]

Inspired by doctortwhohiddles' excellent post!

Here's my contribution to answering @thoroughlyskeptic...

-sending threatening asks to anyone who likes a blog’s posts, even when unrelated to the fandom : I've never seen any of these so-called "threats" either. But I have seen Haters threaten Sophie with harm. I have seen Haters try (and sometimes REPEATEDLY try) to follow anti-hate blogs - has happened repeatedly to me. And I have REPEATEDLY told them I don't mind them reading my blog (unless they become abusive, which a few of them have, so I have had to block them... but only a handful) but I don't allow known Haters to be followers of my blog.

And YES Aeltri HAS a habit of jumping all over positive posts about Sophie and Ben (so have other Haters), especially on her Twitter account! She literally went into a Twitter rage during the Flourishing Diversity event, calling Sophie a whore, cunt and a criminal!

-ostracizing someone for saying ANYTHING not completely positive about your Queen : NOT ostracizing - just NOT letting them get away with sneaky, hypocritical behaviour... having their "Sherlock/Ben fandom" cake, and yet all the while supporting and enabling disrespect and hatred for Ben, his wife and his children.

All I want from these people is honest TRANSPARENCY. If you are going to show total disregard and respect for Ben's choice of wife and their children, then at least own your petty hatred. Don't sneak around the fandom pretending to respect BC. Just come clean and stop pretending to be something you're NOT! The most likely motivation for these people to HIDE their true nature is NOT fear - it's done because they are ASHAMED of their hatred and don't want others to know about their pettiness and small-mindedness. BTW most anti-hater bloggers don't care if someone doesn't LIKE Sophie - all they care about is that they don't spread HATRED AND FILTHY LIES ABOUT HER, BEN AND THEIR CHILDREN!

-blocking people and DEMANDING others block them too, if they don’t follow your “rules” : I don’t ever remember anyone DEMANDING that someone block a Hater either. I ABSOLUTELY remember telling Haters that unless they UNFOLLOWED ME I would block them from MY blog because I don't allow Haters to follow my blog. But if they did unfollow me I DON'T BLOCK THEM. And I remember other blogs saying the same thing... but demanding others block them... nope!

-DOXXING : I think Gator PURPOSELY misuses the term "doxxing". She KNOWS that she and other Haters have exposed personal info on the internet and then she cries about doxxing when she want to play the victim card.

And I remember all too clearly that it was GATOR AND AELTRI who tried VERY hard to publish personal information about someone's address on their blogs (thank goodness they're complete incompetents and they got it wrong).

-MAKING MULTIPLE SOCK PUPPET BLOGS TO DOXX : Oh please, Aeltri is the fucking QUEEN of sockpuppet accounts!

-POSTING A MAP TO SOMEONE’S PERSONAL HOME TRYING TO INCITE OTHERS TO HARASS : Ditto to Doctortwhohiddles response! As for inciting others to harass... that's practically a national pastime for the hater crowd on Twitter!

-having people blocked from other chat sites : just show us ANY real evidence of this! If it has happened (I don't visit chat sites) these people probably decided to block Haters because their obsessive insulting of Ben's wife and their children more in likely disrupted the chat.

-trying to have blogs on Tumblr shut down JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T LIKE THEM : No, it's not just because we don't LIKE them... PLENTY of Hater blogs exist and no one reports them EVER. The few that are reported are ones like Aeltri who post outrageous hatefilled and dangerous comments. Like the latest diatribe from Aeltri stating that people SHE labels "defective infrahuman subspecies" be FORCIBLY STERILIZED! Is it any surprise that some are HORRIFIED by this and demand that some restrictions be put on this kind of hateful talk?

-TRYING TO GET PEOPLE BANNED FROM EVENTS : like Doctortwhohiddles said this is specifically about ONE person... Aeltri - and that was a case of due diligence because Aeltri was hell bent on seeing BC in person and all that was done was notify the organizers of the event about who she REALLY WAS and THEY decided to take that action to protect Ben. Honestly, what did you expect them to do once they read Aeltri's blog??? Welcome her with open arms? AELTRI GOT HERSELF BANNED FROM THAT EVENT BECAUSE OF HER OWN BEHAVIOUR on her blog!

TRYING TO GET PEOPLE FIRED FROM THEIR JOBS : Well the one that comes to mind where someone had proof of it actually happening is when a person published the incident in full on the XOJane site. And that was someone who was HARASSED BY A HATER because they posted that they had seen a pregnant Sophie with Ben. As for the Haters being hounded by others... never seen ANY proof or FULL accounting given - just accusations slung out by Haters and NO receipts EVER given! The XOJane incident... I remember reading the tweets AS IT HAPPENED, so I KNOW the harassment took place. Sooooo, who are the bullies???

-SENDING THREATENING LETTERS TO THEIR HOUSE : Just post the letters please! Otherwise it's just more imaginary delusions of the Aeltri ilk - "Sophie is making PHONE CALLS to me and hanging up!! Sophie has been making harassing phone calls to me PERSONALLY!! Sophie is HAVING ME WATCHED!! She's READING my blog!! She's hiring people to harass ME!" Sure Jan!

-SAYING YOU WANTED PEOPLE WHO DON’T AGREE WITH YOU TO DIE HORRIBLE DEATHS : Well, let's look at the timeline, shall we? If I recall correctly it was the Haters who started that sort of shit talk.

THEY were the ones who started with talking incessantly about harming Sophie, slapping her at events like red carpets and Letters Live, and then that escalated quickly into wishing her to have a "sad life event" (dead baby), wanting her to miscarry, saying they wanted to punch her in the belly to PROVE her pregnancy was a sham, posting photoshopped pics of her being run over by a train, posting allegorical pictures of dead octopuses (because their nickname for her was "octopus"), and then finally this culminated in Gator's horrible "warning" post to Ben about how he, Sophie and the children would be killed for PR. So, who wins the "Horrible Death Wish Crown"???? I think it's the Haters hands down!

And this doesn't even touch all the other vile lies that certain Haters have been spewing out over the years including accusing Sophie of sex trafficking, being a drug addict and a prostitute, killing and eating babies (!!) in satanic rituals (!!!), torturing Ben by scaring his head with secret cult brands, starving him to kill him, poisoning him... all under the guise of just partaking in innocent celebrity "gossip"!

So, the question is - why should we believe ONE FUCKING WORD ANY HATER SAYS if they readily partake in this sort of outrageous discourse?

Let's stack up THIS kind of rhetoric the Haters use ON A REGULAR BASIS, against the reactions of some people who are absolutely disgusted by the blogs of Haters, and see who has a CREDIBILITY PROBLEM, shall we? I don't think the Haters would come out on top!

[una-artwork]

I would like to request Micah HCs, where he's fuckin' in front of a mirror... you know... for research purposes. *wink wink*

18+ HC - Micah Bell/Reader mirror f***

(NSFW!!! explicit smut haha)

Hehe I really liked to write this! Mirror is interesting, bet most of us would be very ashamed of it at first but maybe like it then?

Btw I always thought of Micah as a man with a love for the, well, refined things in life. Delicious food, good whiskey, a nice and beautiful woman when he has the chance and the money to get stuff like that. Spending the profit of a raid in a single evening, faking himself being a rich guy and then back to the criminal life and the dirty streets the next morning.

This is NSFW, explicit, dirty talk and so on, so not for the kiddies! My first HC and I’m sorry for the typos, English is not my native language. But I will try my best! ######################################################

Well, there was this man and you were the only woman free for this evening

Normally you don’t like these kind of man – even the suit can’t hide that he was man from the streets, an outlaw, a criminal.

But money opens doors, right? Maybe he isn’t as bad as he looks.

Grin and bear it! It could be worse. At last he is handsome in a rough way and you have never seen such blue eyes on a man.

There was talking first. A little chitchat, you cheerful as you learned to entertain guests, he mocking and naughty talking about persons of public interests that you know and you find yourself laughing about it. It was fun! A sharp tongue and slowly, you get real attracted to him. He is… different. His self-awareness is enormous, he walks around and talks and takes looks there and there. Nice gold-coloured fire-place clock, he says.

You are a high class prostitite and half of St.Denis upper class men visited you at last once. Not only for THAT – but you are a woman knowing how to celebrate a good Absinthe ritual, how to tease and mesmerize when they are drunk. And that is what they want.

Reciting poems, a little singing, listening to them when they are drunken from the Absinthe. Sometimes crying, babbling over stuff they have done. Yes, you know some of the darkest secrets of these guys. You are not often rent for just sex. You are meant for more than just carnal desire.

But slowly you get to know what this one wants. His eyes are following you, make you feel like prey under a predator’s eyes … and is he SNIFFING you? You decide to offer him the Absinthe ritual you are performing so seductively He watches every movement you make.

His gaze carresses your cleavage which reveals your perfect round breasts, milky white skin, decorated with a little beauty mark you draw on your left breast every evening. You decide to tease him a little more, leaning a little more over the table when you are placing the glass in front of him

„I don’t know your name, mister.“ you purr and lean over, pouring the green absinthe into his glass, placing the spoon on it.

„You like some sugar?“

He grins – wolflike. He tries hard to be sophisticated, but you can see the hunger in his crystal blue eyes, this isn’t what he is interested in but he can’t look away anymore. You take the necessary sugar cube out of a small metal box and give it a little kiss – your tongue showing just for a second on your bottom lip after you kissed the sugar, then placing the sweet cube on the spoon.

„Call me Micah.“ He coughs slightly, still watching. You drop the ice-cold water over the sugar cube, make it melt, dripping down into the glass, the green absinthe begins to cloud – it is perfect. „Master Micah.“ you repeat quietly and with a very small moan. You are basically lying on the table now – talking seductively to him.

“Oh, Mr Micah… let me tell you a secret. Absinthe brings deeply hidden features to light. Hidden feelings, secret wishes… sometimes our darkest desires … ”

Well, maybe you helped to awake them. He suddenly takes the glass and drains it off in a second - and throwing it in the fireplace. Makes you flinch when you hear the glass shatter and he laughs and suddenly you are on your back, he is all over you, his hands grabbing you waist roughly, his breath hot.

„Spread them legs, girl.“ You obey.

His kisses are rough but oh, there is no sloppiness, not the dilletante weakness of all these others you’ve kissed before. It’s all passionate and hot and demanding and his moustache is tickling you, leaving small red marks where the hair rubs against you. It is THRILLING.

You wriggle unter him, gasping for air when he releases you – but only for a second. Then his lips are back on yours and you moan into the deepening kiss when rough hands are lifting your skirts, grabbing your thighs. He settles between them, grinding his hips against you – you can feel how hard you made him and damn, it makes you wet.

His mouth is hot on your neck then, biting and nibbling on the skin while his hands are moving on your body, fighting with your dress. There is so much fabric – your dress extraordinaire, green velvet – but he has no eye for that. There are other things he wants to see. And he is getting frustrated now. Micah is no man of patience.

„Take that fuckin’ thing off.“ he growls and you hurry to get off the table. He is standing there, watching you vainly trying to get out of your dress. „I… I can’t do it alone.“you confess nervously. „I see. Need a little help, ain’t ya, Missy?“

He merely rips that expensive dress off you, his fingers dipping in your skin as he rips of your petticoats, leaving only shreds of the expensive green velvet on the floor. And fuck, you are getting wet on his voracious behaviour. You know, there is a guard in the room beneath – you only need to cry for help. But you didn’t want too – not yet. You always liked adventures, right?

Your hair is tousled, your lips red and swollen when he is ready with you – he let you only your corset and your stockings made of silk. As if to admire a piece of art he created, he steps back and grins, licking his lips – just to suddenly grab your wrist. „I want to fuck you.“

That is what he paid for. And damn, you really enjoy him. He fucks rough and fast – his hands leaving almost bruises on your hips, holding you in place for his thrusts. Balls deep he goes, all thick and hard and you moan and dig your fingernails in his skin – and it is fuckin’ PERFECT. Your corset creaks, when he threw you around – and suddenly you can see yourself in the mirror of your wardrobe

„Look, girl. Ain’t ya a sight for a man’s eyes? Look at ya, girl, wanna see you…“ his breath is hot on your neck, as he mounts you from behind – and you moan heavily, when he continues to thrust in you. Slower this times, as if he wants to tease you.

His hands are on your ass – caressing your perfect cheeks, pinching and grabbing. „Fuckin’ love to see my cock deep in ya.“ he groans and you look back to him, away from the mirror.

You made a mistake, you realize suddenly when he grabs a fistful of your long hair. „Don’t ya dare to revolt, missy… said look at ya…“ You obey, tears in your eyes from the sudden pain on your scalp. And you look in the mirror. Look at him. See him behind you, shirt hanging loose over his bare and hairy chest, he didn’t want to undress completeley. You can see his face reddening, his eyes searching yours in the mirror. The smirk on his lips. The hunger in his eyes.

„Yesss…“ he groans. „That’s it … look at ya, takin’ my cock like a real slut…“ And there is a sharp pain, a loud crack when his palms meet your cheeks. And you feel yourself dripping just more, the pain mixes with pleasure, drives you crazy. You can’t look away anymore, when he got you on your knees, but pushing your head down on the pillow, ass in the air. You have never seen yourself like this before. And it gets you off like nothing before.

And he can’t resist to tease you more. Suddenly he grabs your waist with one hand, the other one still resting on your hips – lifting you up.

And then you can see yourself almost naked. Breasts hanging over your corset. Your hair a mess, your lips red and wet, cheeks blushed. He is holding you, his ruthless cock still sliding in and out. The sounds of flesh against flesh let you blush even more.

The hand on your hips spreads your legs a little more, searches your clit between your wet, swollen folds – fingers drawing circles around the sensitive bud, make you mewl, when he touches where you are stretched around him. „So fuckin’ tight … feel it, Missy? Splitting you almost in half.“ You moan – it is too much. He drives you crazy.

And suddenly your eyes meet his in the mirror and that is, what Micah Bell wanted. You. Obedient. Seeing yourself fucked by some greasy outlaw and fuckin’ enjoying it.

[excuuuseme-princess]

the best part about riverdale is imagining their comic book designs doing the things they do in the show

like imagine this lil carrot head

setting fire to a mobster’s car for his girlfriend’s criminal father

or this groovy diva

talking about “the darkness inside of her” and wearing a black ski mask while she has kinky sex with her boyfriend

who, btw

is this boi

this stud is a freaking gang leader edgelord. 

an actual quote from him: “In case you haven’t noticed, I'm weird. I’m a weirdo. I don't fit in. And I don't want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That's weird.”

riverdale is a fucking stupid bizarre show but i love it so much pls watch riverdale