#severely underrated and under quoted movie

[bubsu]

favorite quotes from the lobster

[webbywatcheshorror]

Webby Reviews Horror: Lo (2009)

Lo. A story about a young man who faces off against demons in order to rescue his girlfriend- and is confronted with some uncomfortable truths. It rides the line between comical and outright campy, sometimes using that line as a jumprope, but still manages to tug on my heartstrings even though I've seen it probably a hundred times.

It's also weird as hell in some parts, both to its benefit and detriment, but I enjoy it all.

So get comfortable, keep your hands and arms inside the summoning circle, and let's get to the reviewing!

Review under the cut and as always, beasties and ghouls, there will be SPOILERS AHEAD!

This movie was made on a very limited budget, and takes place entirely in one location- the main character's living room. Despite the limitations of budget and locale, Lo manages to tell a very emotional story, and looks pretty good doing it!

(Side note- this movie, as far as I could determine, DOES NOT exist in HD form, and you know what? I think that's a good thing.)

The movie utilizes prosthetics for several characters, giving them unique and vaguely grotesque appearances; its also used when Justin, our main character, starts breaking down and enters into a conversation with his own brain through a wound on his hand.

The characters are what carry this movie, given its lack of flexibility in other categories as previously mentioned. We get drawn into Justin's struggle to command a powerful demon in order to save his missing girlfriend, and can't really help but laugh at Lo's wisecracks as it taunts its summoner and plays with his mind.

Justin is Just Some Guy, stepping out of his comfort zone and into the realm of the demonic and occult, in search of his girlfriend April who has been kidnapped by demons. He really has no idea what he's doing, but it's admirable how he keeps going, despite being threatened, humiliated, injured, and even poisoned. Even after he finds out his beloved's true nature, he still tries to bring her home.

April is, in fact, a demon herself, one of the murderous, vile, foul disgusting denizens of hell, unique among her people for being the only demon who possesses human emotions- the entire spectrum. She's the only one who can experience love, both the good parts of it and the bad. Other demons can't understand what love even feels like, and its shown that they're envious of this ability. (Though they'll deny it, of course.)

We get a musical number performed by the demon who kidnapped her (its name is Jeez, which I think about every time I use that word) that gives us her backstory, which amuses me and also kind of gives me secondhand embarrassment for reasons I cannot fathom. (It's called Demon Girl and you can find the scene on Youtube at the time of writing this.)

Lo, played by Jeremiah Birkett (who also stars as Bluebell the troll in the 10th Kingdom, another underrated early 2000s gem), is hilarious on first watch and compelling on additional ones. Its constant jabs at Justin, such as calling him 'Dinner' because that name better fits his future, make it likeable and blurs the lines of what evil really is. It's easy to forget that Lo, by its own admission, and I quote- 'will eat, kill, and rape anything, especially babies'.

The demon Lo does its best to dissuade Justin from his mission, suggesting multiple times that he dismiss it and burn the book like April had told him, which may be a hint to the twist that comes at the end of the film. Other possible hints include Lo using April's voice, going into details on what demons DO to people, and outright telling Justin that to call it disgusting is to call her disgusting, as they are the same.

Because they are. April is Lo, having fled Hell in the guise of a human, stealing a very special book- the book that Justin later uses to summon Lo. The revelation that they are one and the same seems to be the thing that finally convinces Justin that he and April can't be together, no matter how many demons he summons or how brave and determined he is.

I admit I had not clocked the twist on my first viewing, too caught up in the drama of Justin/Dinner vs the menagerie of demons (and the silliness of scenes like The Waiter putting on a performance while he makes a drink, shortly before he pours Justin's ACTUAL drink) to pick up on any of the hints.

I can't talk about this movie without mentioning the music. First we have the film's score, composed by Scott Glasgow, whose tracks 'Love, Misunderstood' and 'Love Theme From "Lo"' never fail to bring on a sense of melancholic nostalgia. Second, but equally as memorable To Me, are The Rondo Brothers, whose contributions to the film are their tracks 'Computers on Ice' and 'Ghost Patrol'. One of those tracks is fun and silly and the other one is played during the solemn ending, so of course it vexes and haunts me to this day.

I doubt the movie would have made such an impression on me without the music, but it's the dialogue that really gets me. We have comedic lines, like Lo accusing Justin/Dinner of being racist against demons, a solid 15 seconds of Justin muttering 'god damn it' repeatedly, and one of my favorites- 'Dude. Dude. I just heard you fell for the whole, "drink this and you can walk through Hell bit".' from Jeez.

There's also more serious lines that stick with me. Lo firmly stating that 'a demon should never entertain the notion that love is the answer to its question'. Justin pleading with April to stay, even after he knows she's a demon, by promising her 'Tell me you won't eat me and I'll make you my wife.'

The ending hurts in such a good way. Even after all he's been through, Justin doesn't get to rescue April and bring her home. Instead, he has to let her go, closing the circle and burning her book, cut off from her for good. Like most tragedies, there was no other way it could have ended.

Another thing I'd like to touch on is the creativity of using a stage performance to portray the flashback scenes, complete with 'actors', backstage crew, and some very expressive Comedy and Tragedy masks who are literally just people standing behind a curtain with only their faces visible.

And speaking of which, this is a movie that would translate very well to a stage, with the majority of the scenes consisting of Lo and Justin talking back and forth on the floor in a dark room, and secondary characters manifesting in various corners. (And a live version of Demon Girl sounds HILARIOUS.)

Overall I give this one 9 ghosts outta ten, as there are a couple things in it that it could probably have done without, but overall it's one of my favorite movies. No, it's not a scary movie, but there's a kind of horror to be found in knowing you love a monster, despite the monstrous things they've done.

[notsuchacleverboyq]

This Scene Confuses Me

Since I was a child, my family enjoyed watching 007 movies (even if they used to stick more to the vintage versions of it).

So, I've never been new to this fandom nor to the general plot and everything that comes with it.

After becoming a fan on my own, my favourite 007 movies absolutely turned out to be Skyfall and Spectre.

More Skyfall, to be honest.

I was eight when it first came out, but I started questioning details (and getting obsessed over characters) only after nine years.

And it is my ability to overthinking that caused this shitty and useless post.

There are plenty of details that are worth a debate and I think that 90% of those are just how bloody lucky (and unlucky at the same time) Bond can be.

But today we'll be discussing about a specific scene, which involves Silva and 007.

What the hell is going on?!

This scene confuses me every time because I don't know what I'm supposed to get from all of the details in here.

The way Silva touches Bond, the way 007 reacts, their chat...the whole just doesn't make any sense to me.

1) Silva

Obviously, my queer brain jumped to conclusions: Silva is gay.

He does give off gay vibes, but it just seems random for a character like him to put up such a scene just for pleasure.

There must be something else.

This is the point in which I got lost under a comment section of another YouTube video.

I found out that there are three kinds of people:

Silva is gay;

Silva is trying to make Bond uncomfortable;

Both at the same time.

We've already clarified that we can agree on number 1.

What about number 2?

He has tied up Bond to a chair, he's basically undressing him and touching him in way too intimate spots, he's listing any of Bond's bad results from MI6 tests...

I think it might make sense for Silva to be doing anything he can to make 007 uncomfortable.

In that comment section, indeed, the most popular explanation was Silva hitting several weak spots at the same time, in order to open Bond like a can of tuna and leave him helpless.

Here are the things Silva tries:

He ties Bond to a chair: it's a detail that is so common in these movies that people don't even consider it. It is necessary for Silva to tie Bond, in order to prevent him from escaping; but when Silva unties him it is clear that he isn't worried about 007 at all. They're on a damn island where the only people are Silva and his men: it would be stupid to even try something on your own. It also was Silva's plan to be captured by MI6, since the beginning. Which leads to an only possible conclusion: 80% of the reasons why Bond was tied up was just to get him annoyed by it. It also connects to the following points;

Silva touching him: this is the part that made all of that confusing to my eyes. Being a former MI6 agent himself, Silva knows how double-0s work, think and act. That's they key of the whole scene. So he knew how 007 could have played it cool in any possible situation and that's why he tied him up. Double-0s can fake complicity even in the most horrible scenarios, but what if it is happening and they could do nothing about it? This was Silva's strategy: getting Bond in the position in which he can't switch from being a victim to being accomplice of it. Silva started running his fingers over 007's skin and scars, stopping on the weakest spots (such as the throat);

Silva attacking Bond's identity: it connects to point 2. This the moment in which Silva gets flirty, since I don't have a better way to call it. Someone's sexuality is part of their identity, so Silva attempts to overstep Bond's boundaries by violating both: his touch is intimate and gentle, despite the situation, his voice is soft and the gaze is too dary. But 007 quickly makes clear how he has no problem with all of that and how it isn't his "first time";

Silva attacks Bond's patriotism and loyalty to M: we well know how Silva has completely lost trust in M and it seems that, for a moment, he's trying to get Bond on his side. In my opinion, that's not completely true. At first impact, it's easy to miss it, but Silva attempts to get all of Bond's beliefs to falter. He firstly tries with M: he tells 007 about how disloyal and unfair the woman can be, reproaching him even how she has sent him on missions even after he failed all of the tests; then, Silva tries with England: he tells Bond about how the Country he still defends and believes in is already dead, fallen, and how useless it is to save it. Nothing of this works and it's misunderstood as an attempt to get 007 on the evil side, since Silva's lost trust both in England and M;

Sévérine: after all of the above didn't work, Silva is left with only one thing. We know know that Bond seduces Sévérine in Skyfall and then Silva finds out; so, he decides to put up a sadistic game to get rid of her and punish 007 at the same time. All of Silva hopes is that Bond got affectionate to the woman and he suffers as a result of the game. Eventually, Silva has to shoot Sévérine himself and Bond reacts as if he couldn't have cared less.

In conclusion, we can agree to point 2 as well.

So, yes: Silva might be gay and trying to make Bond uncomfortable at the same time.

Yet the most confusing part still needs to be discussed.

2) "What Makes You Think This Is My First Time?"

I have several questions, but the first is: what the hell does that mean?

He has already been in such a situation;

He has already slept with a man;

Let's consider the quote Silva's just said before James':

How you're trying to remember your training now.

What's the regulation to cover this?

Well, first time for everything. Yes?

Considering that Silva is trying to discard Bond's sanity, I guessed that he alludes to rape when he asks 007 what his training can do for that situation.

Double-0s are prepared to face anything and get out of it almost as nothing has happened. This might explain Silva's reference to the training.

Bond's reply suggests that he had already gone through that and could do it again if circumstances required it.

It all connects to Silva trying to make 007 uncomfortable through homosexuality.

It wouldn't be new that Bond, due to his job, has needed to seduce a man. We could expect such.

So he might fly over Silva's gender and sex.

I'm still really confused over this point and don't know what to think. But James being a rape survivor is somehow an underrated Headcanon and probable, considering his job.

If someone has different ideas and explanations they're all well accepted. Maybe we can end up to a conclusion that makes sense.

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

Nev, Max, Help!-Nate Jacobs Oneshot

Requested: Yes

Warnings: aggressiveness and rudeness from Nate and a brief panic attack scene

A/N: The reader is gender neutral since the requester did not specify what they wanted and I did not want to disrespect the storyline from the show. Also, it’s a long one. 

  For once, Amy Winehouse’s low, melancholy voice did nothing to soothe my nerves as I typed what I was looking for in the designated box. “Love is a Losing Game” was definitely not the best song for the mood but I loved her voice so much; it was like a really messed up security blanket for me. My thumbs shook as I kept typing and quickly deleting my words. 

  Someone to have fun with.

  No, that’ll bring every single creep to my profile.

  Someone to watch Netflix with.

  Ew, no, they won’t want to go anywhere or do anything. 

  Someone to discuss Maya Angelou with...

  This could go one of two ways: attract a sensitive, nice person or the ultimate softboi who was really just an f-boy in a sensible cardigan.

    Okay, Y/N, just add to it.

   ...and have adventures, great conversations, and watch the best movies.

   That seemed broad enough and, potentially, weeded out all the weirdos. Patti Stanger would approve of this. I took such a deep breath that I could feel the oxygen in my feet as I pressed the green check mark. An adorable buffering sign appeared before being quickly replaced by a CONGRATULATIONS, Y/N/N, ON COMPLETING YOUR PROFILE. 

   The air came out of me slowly, like a balloon, and I tried to make myself relax as I swiped through different matches. One person was too short, the other too tall, another had way too many pictures with reptiles in his profile, and one’s bio simply read: DM and you’ll find out. 

  Serial killer much?

  “That’s part of your problem, Y/N,” Jules had chastised me a few day prior.

 “What do you mean by ‘part’?” I’d replied.

 “Well, for one, you barely leave the house anymore unless I drag you out,” Jules argued.

  “I’m busy,” I’d defended. 

  “Rewatching Breaking Bad for the eighth time does not count as being busy. Plus, you’re so picky.”

  “Am not!” 

  “You said you’d only do DiCaprio in his Great Gatsby days,” Rue had added.

  “Did you see him in that suit?” 

  Jules then shrugged. “All I’m saying is if you aren’t careful, you will end up all alone.”

  “That’s not true, Y/N might get cats.” 

  That conversation had haunted me since and had driven me to making a dating profile after the required Saturday night family dinner. While my parents and brother were downstairs watching a movie, I was holed up in my room, cringing and regretting accepting any chat requests. 

   Half an hour on the app caused the images of various male genitalia to be burned into my mind. I would need my brain soaked in holy water for it to be erased. I huffed and kept scrolling, vainly hoping and wishing for a decent guy to pop up on my radar.

  Maybe Jules and Rue were wrong. Maybe I had all the right in the world to be picky, I thought harshly to myself. 

  I dropped my phone on my nightstand and flopped against my pillows as Me and Mr. Jones began playing. I sighed and felt myself being lulled into the comforting abyss Amy created. 

   Ding!

   I jumped out and glared at the source of the noise. Another chat request, another picture to ruin my young brain? 

  “Be positive, Y/N, this might be good,” I stated as I grabbed the phone. 

  Tyler wants to chat!

   I frowned and opened up the app, only to be met with the most sculpted six-pack I had ever seen. My heart began banging against my chest and my thumbs fumbled for a moment to answer the chat request. 

  Whoosh. 

  My stomach dropped as I stared at my first chat to Tyler: Shg.ismtle

  I’m. Going. To. Die. Alone.

  I quickly typed: Please ignore that, I’m so sorry!

  Seconds later, my phone dinged.

  Tyler: Really? I thought you were trying to send me a secret code and I liked that we were that cool already.

  This was not real, this could not be happening. Tyler had to be a bot, that was why he didn’t show his face in his profile. Bots were supposed to have a hard time recognizing and creating faces, right? 

   But, on the off chance Tyler was real, it would have been rude to leave the conversation so abruptly? 

   Y/N: Who knows? Maybe it was a secret code and I’m just testing you.

   Tyler: Ok, let me guess what it means.

   Tyler: Hi? 

   Y/N: Haha, you really thought I’d use such a simple code as a first message?

   Tyler: It’s my bad for underestimating u. I should have known u were smarter since you read Maya Angelou.

  Y/N: U a fan? 

  Tyler: “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” 

  He knows Angelou? He could have Googled a quote though. Still, it’s a good quote to use if he had Googled it.

   Y/N: Nice, but, doesn’t get u out of the guessing game.

   As Tyler helplessly guessed wrong for several minutes, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I used to think online dating was a last resort or a breeding ground for predators. But, maybe there were decent people looking for something (or someone) meaningful after all. 

  Tyler: I give up, you’re really good. 

  Y/N: Thx. But, I can tell you what I meant to say. 

  Tyler: The suspense is srsly kiilling me. 

  Y/N: I meant 2 say hey.

  Tyler: I guessed that!

   Y/N: No, u guessed ‘hi’, there’s a difference.

  Tyler: C’mon, barely.

   For the rest of the night, Tyler and I chatted. He told me that he plays baseball at a school across town and he doesn’t like anyone around there. He liked John Mulaney stand-up, lemon bars, going to the gym, hanging out with his friends, and reading good books. He was an only child and his parents tended to spoil him. I told him about my friends and how I liked being on the swim team at my school as well as the different YouTubers and books I enjoyed. When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of talking to him. 

   On Monday, Jules and Rue were hanging out outside the school as other people either headed to class or relaxed on the lawn. I could not stop my feet from bouncing as I walked up to them.

   “...and that is why Sailor Mercury is the most underrated character of the whole show,” Jules affrimed. 

   Rue seemed halfway interested as her head nodded slowly underneath the hood of her burgundy hoodie. “Cool, all I asked was who’s your favorite but, cool.” 

   Jules rolled her eyes playfully and straightened up when she saw me. “Hey, Y/N, nice shirt.” 

  “Thanks.” I wore a sky blue tie dye shirt with ripped jeans and white Converse.

  Rue leaned forward and squinted at me. “You’re not wearing black, something’s wrong.” 

  “Nothing’s wrong, she’s obviously been influenced by me!” Jules teased as she wrapped a slim arm around my shoulders.

  “Yeah, you can only hang out with this literal rainbow human so long before she starts influencing your outfit choices.”

  We started heading inside, which was really just Jules and me dragging Rue into the building.

   “But I don’t wanna be here. It’s so stupid that I have to wait six more months before I can legally decide where I spend my time,” Rue muttered.

  “It’s fine, you have us!” Jules insisted.

   “Yup!” I agreed.

  “Hey, Y/N, Rue, Jules!” Cassie greeted as she sidled up next to me. 

  We all greeted her.

  “Have a good weekend?” Rue asked. 

  “Yeah, there was this great party that Nick Davis threw. I swear, everyone there was on acid.” Cassie stopped herself and bit her bottom lip. “Sorry---” 

   Rue shook her head. “It’s fine.”

  “How were yours?” Cassie asked as we continued to our lockers. 

  “Fine,” Jules said.

  Rue shrugged in response.

  I opened my mouth to reply when my phone beeped and I wrestled it out of my pocket. 

  Tyler: Is it 2 late 4 a good morning text? 

  I smiled. 

  “You’re so cheesy,” I muttered under my breath. 

  “Who’s that?” Cassie asked, peeking over my shoulder.

   I jumped and cradled my phone to my chest like it was my child. “No one.” 

   Jules pulled open her locker and cocked a bleached eyebrow. “‘No one’ does not cause huge smiles like that!” She jabbed a sparkly-manicured finger at me. 

  “Yeah, show us,” Rue said. “We are your friends.” 

  “It’s nothing,” I insisted as I weaved around them. 

  I pushed myself against my locker and managed to open it with my free hand. Rue was on one side of me and Cassie was on the other. 

  “Is it a boy?” Cassie sang.

  “Or a girl?” Rue questioned.

  “It’s none of your business,” I gritted out as I grabbed my necessary books. 

  As I shuffled the books in my arms, Jules came from behind and slipped my phone away from me. I gasped, whirled around, and watched as Rue tried to look at the phone while Cassie playfully blocked me.

  “Guys, this is not cool! This is such a serious invasion of privacy,” I argued as I tried to move around Cassie.

  “We’re besties, there’s no such thing as privacy!” Jules retorted. 

  “Wow, Y/N, these are so----” Jules cut Rue off.

  “Adorable!” Jules squealed and turned to face me.

  Cassie took the opportunity to glance at my phone and she smiled. “Aw, this Tyler guy sounds so sweet.” 

  I snatched my phone from Jules. “Well, now you know. Can we please go to class now?” 

  As the other girls grabbed their things from their lockers, I got out my phone to reply to Tyler.

  Y/N: It’s never too late...until noon technically.

   Somehow, I started wandering away from the girls until I ran into someone. I tried to jump away, but they grabbed me by the forearms.

  “I am so sorry, I should have looked where I was going---” I stopped speaking when I recognized Nate’s direct gaze on me. I was pretty tall but I always felt like he could throw me into the lockers if he wanted to.

  “Watch it, Y/N,” he muttered. 

  “Nate, let go of them,” Maddy chided, her hand resting against one of his arms. 

  She seemed to have the magic touch because he relaxed and I joined my friends. As the couple continued down the hallway, I couldn’t help but admire them. In a very messed up way, they worked. Kat had told me only a little about what Nate would do whenever Maddy upset him and I felt so bad for her, angry at him, and then conflicted. Nate just had to have that stereotypical amazing all-American look.

  “You okay, Y/N?” Cassie asked.

  “Yeah, is it weird that I can still feel his eyes on me even when he’s not looking?” I asked. 

  “No, his need for dominance permeates everyone’s sense of autonomy,” Rue assured.

  “Nice,” Jules said. 

  “And scary accurate,” Cassie added. 

  Jule looped her arm with mine and steered us in the direction of our first classes. “Anyway, if he tries anything, I’m sure Tyler would gladly kick his butt for you.” 

   Throughout the day, Tyler and I chatted and I even had to get creative with responding. In English, I kept my head down during quiet reading time and made sure my phone was positioned just right in my lap. During geometry, I told Mrs. Packer that I was having some digestive issues and spent most of the class outside the bathroom, texting Tyler. At lunch, I could barely focus on my friends’ conversation.

   “Hello, Earth to Y/N?” Lexi waved her hand in front of my face and I blinked.

   “Sorry, I was----”

   “Texting her boooyfriiiend,” Jules sang.

   “He’s not my boyfriend, we’re just talking.” I started poking at my sandwich. “What did I miss?” 

  “Oh, nothing, just the fact that I nearly blew up the school during chem,” Cassie said. 

  “Magnesium chloride isn’t an explosive,” Lexi argued. 

  “Well, the tube overflowed and everyone was freaking out,” Cassie argued.

  “Yeah, because magnesium chloride can have bad side effects,” Lexi continued.

   “I wonder what would happen if the school exploded and we weren’t all here? Would they have to give us our diplomas?” I thought outloud.

  “Ooh, and I could go to fashion school early!” Jules cheered. 

  “I’d be happy not coming here anymore,” Rue admitted. 

  It was quiet for a moment as we all ate but that quiet was broken when Maddy yelled.

  “WHO ARE YOU TEXTING?”

  I couldn’t help myself but look. Maddy was standing behind Nate, who was sitting with his teammates at the center table. Bebe and Kat flanked Maddy a little behind. Everyone stared at them. Nate’s jaw tightened. 

  “Maddy, calm down,” his relaxed, controlled voice nearly echoed in the silent cafeteria. 

  “DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! YOU’VE BEEN ON YOUR PHONE ALL DAY!” she snapped. 

  “Maddy---” 

  “ARE YOU TEXTING OTHER GIRLS?” Maddy shouted.

  “Can we talk about this somewhere else?” Nate asked. 

  Maddy sighed. “Are you gonna let me see your phone?”

  “Maddy, we need to talk.” 

  “Don’t talk to me again.” 

  Before Nate could respond, Maddy dumped the contents of her lunch tray over his head and threw the tray aside. Kat and Bebe followed her as she strutted out of the cafeteria amid the shocked gasps. 

   “I’m gonna go check on her,” Cassie whispered.

  We all nodded and she quietly exited the room. As I stared at Nate, the supposed king of the school, drenched in soggy salad and fat-free milk, I wondered why he could never stay broken up with Maddy. Their relationship was not just toxic, it was volatile. Their breakups were always public and outrageous, but they always ended up back together. No one questioned it either. I never understood why people could continue to choose relationship they knew was bad over pursuing something new. I told Tyler as much that night. 

   Y/N: It’s like those dogs that get killed by electric fences because they keep walking into them.

  Tyler: U have a good point, but, that couple’s relationship is more complicated than u think. 

  Y/N: Probably, but, it doesn’t look that way. They hurt each other a lot.

  Tyler: How do u know? 

   Y/N: Bc I’ve seen it. I don’t mean 2 b judgy, but, I could never be in a relationship like that. 

  Tyler: Well, I don’t think anyone would b if they knew it would b bad. 

  Y/N: Good point. But, why would they get back together so much? 

  Tyler: Idk them, but, it could b bc it’s familiar and it’s what they know.

  Y/N: Still, it’s messed up.

 Tyler: Yeah, but I don’t wanna talk abt them anymore.

 Y/N: K, what do u wanna talk abt? 

  A few seconds later, Tyler sent me a picture so graphically beautiful that I was convinced I passed out.

 The next day, I showed Rue and Jules the picture during break time.

 “Holy crap!” Jules took my phone and leaned into it for closer inspection. 

 “Tyler is packing,” Rue agreed. 

  Jules slid my phone back to me. “You haven’t replied to him?”    “No, and he hasn’t talked to me at all today.”

  “He’s probably expecting a reply that’s similar to what he sent,” Rue said.

  My face warmed up. “I can’t send him nudes,” I hissed.

  “Why not? It’s like the greeting cards of our generation,” Jules stated.

  “Really? You’d send your grandparents a greeting card of your naked body?” I replied sarcastically.

  “Relax, if you’re uncomfortable, we can help you,” Jules assured.

  “We can?” Rue asked.

  “We can.” Jules gave her a look and Rue relaxed. 

  “It’s still weird, but, I guess you guys can come over after school.”

  “Sweet! Your mom still bakes cookies for you after school, right?” Jules asked.

  I nodded.

  “She might stop once she learns her darling favorite older child is sending nudes,” Rue snorted as she spoke.

  I recoiled in my seat, taking a second to bask in the sun’s warmth. “Don’t remind me.” 

  After swim practice, once my teammates left the locker room, I eyed my naked form in the mirror. I had nothing to be ashamed of, really, thanks to all the swimming, but, I just felt weird being naked in front of people. There was something so vulnerable about it, like, being on display in a museum or lying on a cold surgery table. But, online dating was supposed to get me out of my comfort zone and I’d found someone who’d made me feel comfortable enough to do it. With this resolve, I changed into a hoodie and some sweatpants and left the school. It was dusk and I typically walked home after practice since it wasn’t far. Plus, I’d told Jules and Rue to just go to my house after school. 

  The late breeze rippled past me and I dug my hands into my pants’ pockets as I started walking towards the parking lot. There was barely anyone around, except stoners hotboxing their cars, some couples making out, and dance team members and football players getting out of practice.

  I kept my head down as I maneuvered around the few cars and people around. It felt like someone could spot what I was about to do once I got home and it was nervewracking. All I had to do was get home, let Jules make me look even better, take these pictures, and never thinking of it again.

   “Something on your mind, Y/N?” Nate called.

   I froze and snapped my head up to look at him. He was leaning against his truck, looking like a model for Ford in only a tshirt and jeans. Ford should hire him. 

   “No, not really,” I said. 

   I started to side step the truck, eyeing the sidewalk that was only a few yards away as though it was a lifeline. 

  “Get in,” Nate ordered.

  I paused and looked at him. “Excuse me?” 

  “I see you walking home all the time, let me do you a favor, one athlete to another.” Nate was about halfway in the driver’s seat of the car and all I could do was stare.

  “We’ve...never really talked before,” I stated. 

  “We can talk during the drive.” 

   I stepped back and my eyes flittered around, like the best decision would hit me in the face. Then, I saw Maddy across the lot. She was standing with a couple of dance team girls, including Cassie. She stared me down as though daring me to do it. I glanced from her to Nate, who started the engine loudly. 

   I quickly climbed into the passenger’s seat and stared into Maddy’s reflection in the rearview mirror as he pulled out of the parking lot. 

  “How do you know where I live?” I asked.

  “You forgot that I gave you a ride before?” Nate asked.

  “When?” 

  “After Cassie’s sweet sixteen. You blacked out, your friends were panicking, and I offered to take you home. For some reason, you remembered your address,” Nate recalled.

  “Oh, thanks?” 

  “Sure.” 

  We pulled up to my house a few minutes later, Lil Wayne bragging about his conquests filling the quiet. I hopped out of the truck and grabbed my bag. 

  “Thanks for the ride, this one, I mean, I owe you,” I said.

  “Yeah, see you around, Y/N.” 

  I closed the door and headed inside.

  “I’m home!” I called.

  My mom poked her head out from the kitchen. “Y/N, how was school and practice?” 

  “Fine.” 

  “Was that Nate Jacobs outside?” 

  I hesitated. 

  How did she know what Nate’s truck looked like?  “Yeah, he gave me a ride today.” 

  “Aw, isn’t that sweet? Rue and Jules are waiting for you in your room. They took the cookies with them.”  

  I nodded and went to my room. As soon as I walked in, they bombarded me with questions.

  “Why did Nate give you a ride?” Rue asked.

  “What did you guys talk about?” Jules inquired. 

  “Don’t you hate him?” 

  “He’s kind of a dick, but, unfortunately, super good looking.”

  “Did Maddy see?” 

  “Do you think she’s gonna kill you?” 

  “Guys, I don’t know but I do know that if you do not take amazing pictures of me with no clothes on soon, I will delete my entire profile,” I interrupted. 

  They both nodded. 

  “But, we will ask for details later,” Jules insisted.

  “Okay, but, please give me a cookie, I’ll need it to get through this.” 

  Rue extended the plate towards me and I bit into the melty goodness as Jules began doing my makeup. It was simple, only bringing out my best features. I made them both turn around as I undressed. Once I had, Jules encouraged me.

  “You look amazing, I would be shocked if he didn’t jizz in his pants,” Jules said.

  “Lower your voice, Y/B/N can only play Five Nights at Freddy’s so loud,” I hissed.

  Jules held her hands up and Rue direct me to lay on the bed, my phone held up in front of her.

  “Okay, look sexy,” Rue said.

  I tried to smolder, but, by their expressions, I did not achieve it.

  “No, like, pout your lips, like, you just heard that TheOdd1sOut is not uploading for a month,” Jules directed.

  “And give the camera bedroom eyes, you know, as though it’s Tyler.”

  “Okay.”    After a few pictures, I slowly got the hang of it and even started posing a little naturally.

  “Oh my gosh, Tyra is shook!” Jules cheered. 

 “Yeah, these are pretty good if I do say so myself.” Rue handed me my phone and I flipped through the pictures. 

  She was a talented photogrpaher and I joked that maybe she should go professional.

  “Yeah, I’m sure I’d have a nice clientele.” 

  I laughed as I changed back into my hoodie and sweatpants. “Okay, help me pick one to send.” 

  Jules took my phone and she and Rue began scrolling.

  “No, the lighting’s off in this one,” Jules muttered.

  “No, it’s never off in any of these,” Rue argued. 

  “I’m not shading your talent, I’m just trying to find the best thing for Y/N to send Tyler.” 

  After a little more bickering, we all agreed on the picture and I sent it to Tyler.

  “Should I follow it up with something?” I asked.

  “Maybe say ‘Wrong person’? Guys want what other guys want,” Jules suggested.

  “Or say ‘Sorry for the late reply’,” Rue added.

  “I’ll go with Rue’s, sorry, Jules.” 

  Jules shrugged. 

  I sent everything off and my friends and I watched as Tyler typed a response.

  Tyler: It was worth the wait ;).

  We squealed so loud that my mom yelled for us to keep it down. We apologized as we descended into a fit of giggles. Through it all, I could not help but feel so bouncy and light all over. Was I...falling for this total stranger? 

  “What do you think he looks like?” Jules asked during lunch later that week.

  I shrugged. “It’s different every day, if that makes sense.” 

  “I guess that’s the nice thing about interacting with someone who doesn’t show their face,” Jules thought outloud. 

  “How do you see him now?” Lexi asked. 

  I sighed. “Right now, I think he’s tall, six feet at least. He’s got a mix of blonde and brown hair like a surfer because it’s lightened from all the time he’s spent in the sun. He has green eyes, freckles, and he dresses well.” 

  “Sounds amazing,” Jules said as she rest her chin in her hand. 

  Rue nodded slowly. “You’re not nervous or anything?” 

  “No, this is so cheesy, but, I feel like I know him, you know? He’s so easy to talk to and has so much to say.”

  “Y/N’s blushing,” Jules teased. “Do you love him?” 

  “I really, really, really, like him.” 

  “Do you think you’ll meet soon?” Lexi asked.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know, neither of us has brought it up.”

  “Well, it just matters that you’re comfortable, okay?” Rue said.

  “Okay.” 

  If I was honest, I did not know if I wanted to meet Tyler. I knew that I liked him more than I liked anyone before, but, there was something strange about breaking this wall the internet provided us. It was freer to talk on the internet than it was in person. What if I said something stupid in front of him? What if he thought that I looked different in person? What if he looked different in person? 

  I managed to keep these thoughts at bay for the rest of the day until I got home. Post-dinner had been officially declared Talk to Tyler Time. None of my family knew what I was doing besides blasting Amy Winehouse in my room for about an hour. My laugh nearly overpowered her high note in “Best Friends, Right?”. I had to blink away my happy tears as I replied to him. 

  Y/N: That did not happen!  Tyler: Yes it did! Do u want 2 c the scar????

 Y/N: No, I think I’m good.

 I wiped away my tears and settled under the covers. I wondered if his friends would agree that Tyler gets into some weird situations as well. Just as I started typing, Tyler beat me.

 Tyler: I want 2 meet u.

 The speed that I launched my phone away from me almost shocked me more than the text.

  Almost.

  My heartbeat thrummed in my ears. This was it, I knew I couldn’t avoid him much longer, but, I felt like I couldn’t move. All I could do was stare at my phone like it was the most offensive object in the world. Slowly, I regained mobility and grabbed my phone. I took a deep breath.

  “Take a chance, Y/L/N,” I whispered.

  Y/N: When and where?

    “You’re meeting him tonight?” Jules squealed the next day.

  I hushed her as people in the hallway paused to look at us. “Not so loud.”   “But this is so exciting. Please let me help you decide what to wear,” Jules pleaded with a pout. 

  “Sure,” I said. 

  Jules hugged me. “This is going to be so fun. I won’t go crazy with glitter since this is the first time you’re meeting this guy.” 

 “Thanks?” 

 “Do your parents know?” Rue asked.

 “No,” I replied as I slowly pulled away from Jules. “They’re coming Senior Night tonight, though. and I’m going to meet him at Mercy Park an hour before it ends.” 

 “Are you sure you even want to do this? I know that Jules and I tease you about your love life, but, this is risky,” Rue said. 

 “You weren’t saying that when you were helping me with those pictures the other day,” I shot back.

  “That was different. You’re...you’re actually meeting him now and he could be a psychopath or a sociopath or, just, a creepy old guy who likes to look at teenagers!” Rue insisted.

  “Rue, relax, everything’s going to be fine.”

  “You don’t know that!” She turned on her heel and hurried into the bathroom with Jules and I on her tail. 

  When we entered, Rue was leaning against the wall, panting and staring up at the ceiling. Jules and I approached her slowly as the girls who were in the bathroom quickly filed out. 

  “Rue, slow down your breathing,” I said slowly.

  “I...I can’t. You-you could get hurt or something and-and I would know about it an-and I-I couldn’t live with that!” Tears burst from her eyes as Rue began pacing and Jules and I were close but gave her room. 

  “Rue, Y/N is going to be okay, we both know what time she’ll be at the park. If anything happens, we’ll know the area she could be in,” Jules assured her.

  Rue shook her head and stopped in her tracks. Then, she looked between us helplessly before bowing her head and sobbing. Jules and I carefully hugged her and let her cry.

  “I’m sorry that I’m scared and I care about you and I don’t want you to get hurt,” Rue mumbled into my shirt.

  “It’s okay, I appreciate it. I really want to meet Tyler, though, and, I promise I will let you know if something happens, okay?” 

  Rue nodded and sniffled.

   It took Jules about an hour to make me look amazing. I had no idea my hair could be so fluffy and put together until she was done with it. She used eyeliner to make eyes look bigger and rounder and added sparkly lip gloss to make my lips look plumper. After she contoured and highlighted the best places she deemed that her work was done. My outfit, a fitted forest green long-sleeve shirt and fitted black pants with Jadons, was also approved by her.

  “Tell me everything later!” she insisted.

  Rue couldn’t join us since she had “prior commitments” but I texted her that I would let her know when I head to the park and when I leave. My nerves didn’t let me focus on the soccer game my parents insisted I joined them and my brother at. I couldn’t care less that the forward on one team got a yellow card or that the goalie on the other team made illegal blocks. I was practically buzzing with excitement and fear so much that I had to give my pretzel to Y/B/N. Finally, the third quarter arrived and I told my parents that I would meet them at home since I’d promised Lexi that I would help her with some homework. 

  Lexi wouldn’t mind being used for a lie this one time; it was an emergency.

  I tried to practice some calming deep breaths as I walked over to the park. The dark night sky provided a little bit of comfort to my walk. I wondered how different Tyler would look from the picture in my mind. I wondered if he thought I would look any different. Maybe (hopefully) it wouldn’t matter to either of us.

  Finally, I reached the park. It was empty, save for the oak trees scattered throughout the lush green scenery that seemed mysterious under the mooonlight. A few benches and wooden tables were around as well, but, Tyler and I had agreed to meet at the fountain which was further in the park. The breathing exercises had to have helped because I felt much more relaxed and I hoped that everything would go all right. 

   When I got to the fountain, there was a tall person facing it. All I could make out were dark clothes and broad shoulders. I took another deep breath and kept walking.

  “This is a nice spot, you have good taste,” I commented. 

  “I could say the same for you.” I stopped in my tracks as Nate slowly turned to face me. His face was unreadable but his eyes stayed on me. 

  “What? Wh-where’s Tyler?” I asked, my voice already hoarse. 

  Nate glanced down at his shoes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how else to talk to you.” 

  I shook my head. “No.” My vision got blurry but I could tell that Nate was looking up at me now. 

  “Just let me explain,” he requested softly. 

  He took a step towards me and I took two steps back .

 “I don’t wanna hear it. This....this is some sick joke to you or something?” 

 “No, never, Y/N, just listen to me.” 

 “I don’t want to!” The tears rolled down my cheeks and I swiped at them so hard that I thought I scratched myself. At least I could feel something because my heart felt numb. “You catfished me!” 

  “I just wanted to talk to you, I really do like you, Y/N. Tyler and I are the same, just different names,” Nate insisted, coming closer.

  For some reason, I didn’t move. I didn’t know if it was from emotional exhaustion or stress, but, I let him approach me. I kept shaking my head. 

  “No,” I hiccuped. 

  “I wanted to meet you tonight because I was tired of lying. I want to figure this, us, out,” Nate said.

  I sniffed. “Us?” 

  At that moment, I could actually see his face and Nate seemed so hopeful. There was a slight smile on his lips and his eyes seemed light for once. Maybe he wanted there to be an “us”. Maybe, despite all logic, he wanted to talk to me seriously and could not do it offline because of his reputation. Maybe, he was over the on-again-off-again situation with Maddy. Maybe, this was my chance, our chance.

  I wiped my face again, mentally cringing at how upset Jules would be for my ruining her masterpiece. 

  “Yeah, us.” Nate stepped closer to me, gently wrapped his arms around my waist, and pulled me into his chest.

  Gradually, my muscles relaxed and I relished in the feeling of his strong upper body and his warmth. Then, I began to feel pressure on my waist and gasped as it intensified. 

  “Nate, you’re...squeezing...too hard,” I rasped out. 

  And he started laughing, no, cackling. As he laughed, his grip tightened and I continued gasping and clawing at everything I could. 

  “Nate...stop!” 

  But he kept laughing and squeezing. When he finally released me, I looked up and saw nothing behind his eyes. Everything in me told me to run, but, I knew he could have easily caught up to me.

  “I really thought you were smarter than that, Y/N. C’mon, you couldn’t honestly think that I would do all this to be with you,” he sneered.

  “So why do it then?” I asked, my voice so small that I could have kicked myself for it. 

  Nate sighed and folded his arms. “Because you made it so easy and, to ask for a favor.” 

  “What? That makes no sense,” I argued. “I told you I owed you one that day you gave me a ride!” 

  “Yeah, well, I needed to make sure that you were available when I needed you.” 

  “Whatever, screw you,” I hissed as I pivoted on my heel. 

  “Too late for you, you’re already screwed.” Nate pulled out a folder from inside his jacket pocket. “Remember those special pictures you sent to Tyler? Well, they count as distribution of child pornography, which has a hefty fine and sentence.” 

   My mouth opened and closed several times before I faced him and responded. “But...but you held them, doesn’t that count towards possession? And, you’re extorting me!” 

  Nate glowered at me and stormed over. “Heresay, no solid evidence for your case. Plus, I’m a Jacobs, so, who are you kidding?” 

   I felt so sick to my stomach that I could have thrown up, fainted, or cried at that moment. This was not real, this could not be real.

   “What do you want?” I asked.

   “Like I said, just be available when I need you.” 

  “Fine.” 

  “Sorry, what was that?” He gripped my chin his hand and forced me to look up at him.

  “Okay,” I said softly.

  “Hmm.” His eyes scanned my face before he released me. “And if I ever hear you judging my relationship with Maddy again, these pictures are going to be the least of your concern.” 

  I nodded weakly, regretting every single thing I ever told him. Nate Jacobs was truly the devil. He wandered off into the night like a centurion leaving a victorious battle. It seemed like he always won. 

  I managed not to start crying until I was on the empty sidewalk. No, I sobbed so bad that my throat went dry. 

  How could I have been so stupid? I should have known it was him that day Maddy yelled at him for texting all day. 

  Stupid, stupid, stupid!

  My sobs continued as I grabbed my phone and texted Rue. 

  Y/N: U were right. 

[thenightling]

Does The Frankenstein Monster have a soul?

    I have seen many strange blog posts and articles recently claiming that Mary Shelley’s creature in the Frankenstein novel does not have a soul.  I believe this does a disservice to Mary Shelley and the intention behind her story.       Before we proceed please note that this is written in the literary context of assuming that within the narrative humans definitely do have souls themselves.       First let is begin with the literal and possibly occult aspects of the Frankenstein Story.  Victor studied the works of Agrippa and Parcelsus in the novel.  Agrippa and Parcelsus were a self-proclaimed sorcerer and alchemist.  Victor was not studying hard science as we know it today, despite what you might see in some Frankenstein movies.   Victor was studying metaphysics and he was still a student when he brought his creature to life.  Many consider Frankenstein to be the first science fiction novel but without the actual description of how he brought his creature to life he could easily be the result of alchemy.   

   At no point does any character in the Frankenstein novel ever refer to The Creature as soulless.  Even Victor, who loathed his creation near the end, never described him as being without a soul. The closest thing to it is when he uses the term “mockery of a human soul” which indicates that what soul The Creature has he sees as an inhuman one.      

     An article from “The Conversationalist” argues that because the eyes are the gateway to the soul that this means The Creature is soulless since his eyes are watery and yellow.  But it is not that The Creature lacks eyes at all. It is that his eyes are different from a human’s.  Watery eyes suggests sad, expressive and tragic.   Eyes are usually watery as a result of deep emotion.   I cannot understand why a description of something often used to convey profound emotion would be used to mean “soulless.”   

     A different Google Search result on the subject of “Does the Frankenstein Monster have a soul” is a teacher’s resource site that claims it would be a good exercise for the class to discuss “Ways in which it is portrayed that The Creature in Frankenstein has no soul.”  But this is, again, pure speculation, and not based on anything of the actual novel.   The essay directly under this described “exercise” talks about how The Creature would not have killed Victor’s loved ones if he had a soul and that a creature with a soul would feel remorse for his actions.

     There are two things wrong with this sample essay.  First, many humans have killed other humans and shown no remorse. That does not mean they do not have a soul.  It means there is something wrong with their conscience.   The second thing the matter with this assumption is at the end of the Frankenstein novel The Creature does show remorse.   He laments the pain and suffering he has caused.   His education had consisted of books that glorified revenge as something noble and righteous and justified such as the actions of both God and Lucifer in John Milton’s Paradise Lost.  And he only learned after the fact that revenge only helped to make him feel more isolated from humanity and actually served to bring him no peace or satisfaction and in fact only helped to make him feel worse than what he already felt.      

  Now onto potentially more subjective content.  

     The Creature, who is well-spoken and articulate in the novel, repeatedly talks about his own soul.   He becomes obsessed with the depictions of Adam and Lucifer in John Milton’s Paradise Lost and is actually a surprisingly spiritual figure. He talks about his own soul frequently and does not seem to have any doubt that he has one.  He also seems quite certain of the fact that he will have an afterlife.  The indication here is simple. If humans have immortal souls that can ascend than logically- as he is capable of the full range of human emotion and thought- so does he.  

     Mary Shelley, herself, has been quoted as calling The Creature a “Poor soul” and “wretched soul” or “a romantic soul” and as she is the author I do not think she chose those wordings lightly.   Note:  I cannot precisely source these quotes at this time but most of what I have written here can easily be found in both the 1818 and 1831 editions of the novel Frankenstein.     

      It is also important to consider that if The Creature was indeed “Soulless” this feels like it would diminish Victor’s accountability for abandoning him, and the world’s fault in rejecting him.  It dampens and potentially ruins the entire idea that you ought to pity The Creature and are supposed to sympathize with him despite the horrible things he has done.  To claim he is without a soul overly exonerates those who have wronged him and immediately dehumanizes him, making the portions of the novel where The Creature tells Victor his own sorrows and experiences practically pointless and creates a barrier between the reader and character.  The ability to sympathize with him is dramatically reduced and I feel this would undermine Mary Shelley’s intentions by dehumanizing him further than Victor already did, and almost justifying mistreatment toward him.            

      It’s an odd thing to me, to see so many comments, articles, and blogs talking about him not having a soul.  I think people forget that in 1818 the soul was usually depicted as a person’s spirit, consciousness that could live on after-death, the part of you that thinks and feels.   Your very awareness.  In the nineteenth century if you could feel emotion and think it was considered a given fact that you have a soul because “You are a soul, you have a body.”   

     It seems that the modern “interpretation” of The Frankenstein Monster being soulless mostly comes from not quite understanding what the nineteenth century described the soul as in most literature.  This wasn’t the TV show Buffy The Vampire Slayer where the soul and conscience are easily confused and interchangeable.  

    It’s peculiar to me that a low budget schlock film like “I, Frankenstein” can explore The Frankenstein Creature’s soul and conscience with more respect for the source material and Mary Shelley than some so-called academics.  Kevin Grevioux is a very underrated writer and his film deserved a better budget and care than what it received.  This is why I like that low budget and cheesy little film.  

     In any event, if you are trying to figure out if The Frankenstein Monster has a soul or not I think it is safe to assume that at least the novel’s author and the character, himself, believed that yes, he does have a soul.   And I hope whoever was trying to figure this out heeds this post before the righteous rantings on the Google results from those whom I suspect might not have actually read the novel or may not have wanted to feel compassion toward The Creature.

___________________

Further note:  Lots of people mistakenly think Frankenstein’s main moral is not to play in God’s domain.  

I do not have patience for those with the assumption that the moral of the novel was "Don't play God." That's the 1931 film, not the novel. The themes of the novel included parental responsibility, the need to forgive, the futility of revenge, and judging by appearance.There are literary professors who have assumed the film was accurate in the novel's moral but thankfully most people who read the book know better. The Creature began benign and gentle and only went evil after several instances of mistreatment.  A third of the novel is there just to tell is this.  If simply creating him was Victor's sin then that diminishes Victor's accountability for how he treated him.  It's also why I don't like film versions where The Creature has an "abnormal brain."  It overly justifies the mistreatment of him and exonerates his creator.   If simply creating him was Victor's sin than we would not have been repeatedly told he would have remained Good if he had not been mistreated. Victor's sin wasn't creating him but how he treated him after he was created.  The "I shouldn't have played God thing"  was the 1931 film, not the novel.  Victor, himself, acts as if merely creating him was his sin but The Creature, and (at times) even Victor admitted that The Creature was once benign and gentle, until the cruelties of others got to him. Finally, "Modern Prometheus." PROMETHEUS! Why do so many people think Prometheus was some sinner who was righteously punished? Does no one know Greek mythology anymore? Prometheus was a Titan and the creator of the human race. In short, he was God. Zeus and the new Gods coveted light. The fire Prometheus stole represented knowledge and the power to invent. He gave humans (his own creatures) this and it pissed off Zeus. He severely punished Prometheus but it was unjust and in later myths he was freed. The great centaur who invented medicine even gave up his immortality as payment to keep Zeus from trying to return Prometheus to his punishment.  Mary Shelley's own husband, Percy Shelley, wrote Prometheus Unbound.

[just-random-obsessions]

Funny Moments In Thor The Dark World

Find Thor 1 here

Find Avengers 1 here

This is the second part of me watching all three thor movies and the avengers movie and comparing the humor pre-ragnarok to the humor in the 3rd Thor movie. And, as before, I’m writing this on my computer where the I and U keys don’t work so sorry for any spelling mistakes.

Tag List: @nikkoliferous @fyrecrafted @lokijiro @miskiett @darthxerik @icyxmischief @iamanartichoke @juliabohemian @official-and-unstable-satan @melodylnoelle @just-another-human-2019 @fandomsfanfiction @mentallydatingahotcelebrity @cateyes315 @burningarbiterheart @imnotacreepijustlikeyou @usedtobegoodfriend96 @alexakeyloveloki

Official-and-unstable-satan and fandomsfanfiction weren’t tagged sry

Anyone who wants to be added/removed to the tag list please let me know! and if I missed someone please also let me know. Sorry this post is so long

~ “Hello Mother. Have I made you proud?”

~ “Please don’t make things worse” “Define worse”

~ “I really don’t see what all the fuss is about”

~ “Just like you”

~ *That smile!!!!*

~ “I’ve got this completely under control!” “Is that why everything’s on fire?”

~ *About the Scary MonsterTM: “All yours”

~ *Thor says hi to the Big Scary MonsterTM*

~ “I accept your surrender”

~ “Anyone else?” *All the people simultaneously: NOPE*

~ “Perhaps next time we should START with the big one”

~ *Odin obviously shipping Thor and Jane* (idk I got a kick out of this)

~ *Jane awkwardly avoiding her date*

~ *Date: hi*

~ *Him awkwardly talking about his ex*

~ “And the fact that she kept sleeping with other men” “NO!”

~ *Darcy being mistaken for a waitress*

~ *Darcy mouthing “Cute” to Jane about Richard*

~ *Darcy embarrassing Jane by talking about Thor*

~ “Is there a point to all of this cause there REALLY needs to be a point to all of this”

~ “That’s what I said!”

~ “That’s what I did!”

~ “He’s not interested” “I’m interested” (Am I the only one who feels like his awkwardness was actually kinda cute?)

~ “He’s my intern.” “You have an intern?”

~ *Intern is fucking adorable like Richard*

~ “I have totally mastered driving in London!” *Has not mastered it at all*

~ *Selvig running around Stonehenge naked*

~ *Darcy keeps calling Ian ‘Intern’*

~ *Darcy calls Jane cause she didn’t wanna shout*

~ God I fucking love Darcy she’s so criminally underrated

~ “I am not getting stabbed in the name of science”

~ “It’s okay, we’re Americans!” “Is that supposed to make them like us?”

~ “We’re scientists-well I am” “Thanks”

~ “That doesn’t seem right”

~ “I wanna throw something! Jane give me your shoe!”

~ *Jane ignores Darcy*

~ “Give me your shoe”

~ “Were those the car keys?”

~ *Ian’s face when he realizes he threw the car keys to another planet*

~ *If you have to bury so many people then you’re doing something wrong you hot dumb fuck* (I mean that’s basically what Heimdall said right?)

~ “Typical” *after being left behind while Jane goes to talk to her boyfriend*

~ *Jane! Love of my life and most talented and beautiful person in the world oh how I love yo-SLAP*

~ “As excuses go, its not terrible”

~ “I know” “You do?” “Do what?”

~ *Darcy interrupts the KissTM*

~ “Um I’m pretty sure we are getting arrested”

~ “How’s space?” “Space is fine”

~ “He’s my intern… My intern’s intern”

~ “Holy shit!” (after Jane went up in the Bifrost)

~ *Heimdall calmly dodges the car*

~ “We have to do that again”

~ “Hello”

~ “What’s that?”

~ “It’s a soul forge” *No I’m pretty sure that’s a quantum field generator*

~ *Jane being ready to fight Odin for comparing her to a goat*

~ “You told your dad about me?”

~ “It must be so inconvenient, them asking about me day and night”

~ “Please meet my mother” *Jane shies away from Thor*

~ Loki casually tossing the thingamajig in the air like the cute little shit he is

~ Lord, he’s so damn pretty

~ *Kurse being like: Lol I ain’t touchin’ that boy with a ten foot pole*

~ “It’s as if they resent being in prison”

~ “There’s no pleasing some creatures”

~ *Loki calmly reading a book while all Hel breaks loose*

~ “You have my word that no harm will come to yo-” nvm bitch die

~ *THAT look between Sif and Jane*

~ *Frigga immediately seeing through Odin’s bs lies*

~ *Heimdall: I have defeated the big space ship!! The bigger one behind him: Bitch you thought*

~ “WITCH!!!!” *Now I know who Loki gets his amazing aforementioned smile from*

~ *Selvig using shoes to explain complicated science*

~ *Selvig then using pencils*

~ “Any questions?” “Yeah, can I have my shoe back?”

~ “What’s SHIELD?” “It’s a secret”

~ *Darcy’s cute af face when she sees that Selvig is in the mental hospital*

~ “Are you sure you wouldn’t just rather punch your way out?”

~ *Loki shapeshifting into the guard*

~ “Mmm Brother, you look ravishing”

~ “Costumes a bit much”

~ “So tight!”

~ “I can FEEL the righteousness surging!!”

~ “HEY wanna have a rousing discussion about truth?”

~ “Honor?”

~ “Patriotism?”

~ “GOD BLESS AMERICA!”

~ “At last. A little common sens-”Bitch are you really fucking kidding me? (What do you mean that’s not what he said?)

~ “I thought you liked tricks”

~ “I’m Loki, you may have heard of-” SLAP

~ “That was for New York”

~ “I like her”

~ *Loki gazing lovingly at Jane in the background*

~ “Betray him, and I’ll kill you.” “It’s good to see you too Sif”

~ “If you even think about betraying him-” “You’ll kill me? Evidently there will be a line”

~ “I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing.” “I said how hard can it be?”

~ “Whatever your doing brother I suggest you do it faster.” “Shut up Loki

~ “You must’ve missed something.” “I didn’t, I’m pressing every button on this thing”

~ “Well don’t hit it. Just press it, gently.” “I aM pReSsInG iT gEnTlY AND ITS NOT WORKING!!!”

~ *Thor starts slamming buttons and it starts working*

~ *Volstagg: Oh fighting is much fun- OH SHIT IM FALLING!! HELP!!!*

~ “I think you missed a column.” “Shut up”

~ “Why don’t you let me take over? I’m clearly the best pilot”

~ *Bitch I’m the one who can actually fly*

~ “Oh dear. Is she dead?”

~ *Thor knocks over a column* “Not a word”

~ “Now they’re following us”

~ “Now they’re firing at us”

~ “Yes thank you for the commentary Loki, it’s not at all distracting”

~ “Well done, you just decapitated your grandfather”

~ *Seriously, whoever wrote the escape scene is a genius!!!*

~ *Loki yelling at Thor about how thIs was a bad idea you dumb fuck- wait wtf are you doing AAAAHHHHH!!!!1*

~ “You lied to me. I’m impressed”

~ *That smile again snfnejaihfeqrqrsbdsalxdjewonjfeq*

~ “For Asgard!” YEET

~ “Nothing personal boys!”

~ “If it were easy, everyone would do it”

~ “Are you mad?” “Possibly”

~ “TADAAA”

~ “Oh yeah, my father. Eric Selvig”

~ “And these” “yeah… those”

~ “How did you find me?” “You were naked on television”

~ “I don’t get paid enough. I don’t get paid at all”

~ “What’s happening? Birds? Birds are happening?”

~ “All right are you ready?” “I am”

~ *phone rings* “It’s not me”

~ “Why are there so many shoes in here?”

~ “I’ll just text her”

~ “So who’s Richard?”

~ *Thor hanging his hammer on a coat hanger*

~ “Where are your pants?” “Oh he says it helps him think”

~ “Loki is dead” “Oh thank God!”

~ “Better get my pants”

~ “Do you even know what these things do?” “No” “…Neither do I”

~ “Ooh get the guy with the sword!”

~ “Oops”

~ *Ian’s high-pitched scream*

~ *Does car insurance cover My Car Was Sucked Into Another Planet Due To A Cosmic Event That Only Occurs Once Every 5000 Years or no?*

~ *Thor and Malekith fighting between worlds and poor little Mjolnir trying to keep up*

~ *The two of them against windows*

~ *AAAHHH*

~ *Awww! Look at the cute little Jotunheim monster! He’s so adorable I wanna pet him so much!’

~ *Darcy and Ian kissing after he saved her life*

~ “Darcy?” “Jane!” “Ian?” “Selvig.”

~ “Myuh Myuh!!”

~ *Thor ends up on the subway*

~ *The girl taking 50 photos*

~ *Thor and the woman colliding into eachother*

~ “I’ve come to accept your surrender”

~ *Malekith gets crushed by his own ship. Now that’s some lovely karma right there*

~ *Darcy and Ian go back to kissing*

~ “He kinda committed treason on our way out” oops

~ Jotunheim Puppy chasing birds

Wow I’m so sorry this was so long. But guess what? It’s gonna get even longer. Sorry, again.

So one of the differences between the first and second Thor movies is that Thor 2 has humor in the climax whereas Thor 1 doesn’t. This is because of the differences with who is the villain. In Thor 1, Thor is having to fight his brother. To quote Avengers, they “played together and fought together” for several millennia. Of course there’s not going to be any humor in it cause there shouldn’t be. The climax at the end of the movie isn’t supposed to be some epic battle between the forces of Good TM and Bad TM. It’s supposed to be tragic that he’s having to fight his own brother because Loki lost his mind due to so many factors. The last joke in the film is “You’re an amazon liar brother, always have been” “It’s good to have you back”. There’s nothing else till the end credit scene. That’s because Kenneth Branagh knew that this was supposed to be viewed at as being sad a hopeless, not some awesome upbeat battle.

Thor 2 on the other hand, is exactly that. Thor has known Malekith for.. what? 2 days? Maybe 3? His relationship and dynamic with Malekith is different than with his brother. To Thor, this is just another enemy attacking Asgard. And I’m not sure whether this was intentional or not (because I remember reading somewhere how Allen Taylor had a bitch of a time in the editing process so I think the movie came out different than he intended) but the lack of any personal relationship will Malekith means the film can make really funny jokes and still have it fit with the film. If anything, I might even argue that the humor helped the film to maintain a very nice positive vibe. Idk I can’t think of the right words to explain it but the jokes actually fit the film very well.

However, then we move on to Ragnarok. With Ragnarok, Thor is fighting his sister. While (just like Malekith) he has only known her for two days, that still doesn’t take away the fact that he is having to fight his sibling. And I’m not a film director but if I had the option of approaching this situation and taking it the Thor 1 route or the the Thor 2 route, I’d go with Thor 1. Because it’s actually incredibly tragic that Hela has been driven to insanity like Loki (though ok a different level) due to Odin’s shitty parenting. She is the horrible way she is because Odin made her that way. And that could’ve been an AMAZINGLY complex story with the audience feeling so much sympathy for Hela like we did with Loki in Thor 1, but the narrative just falls flat for two reasons. 1) Taika admitted he didn’t want the film to be emotionally complex so 2) The humor in the climax completely detracts from the seriousness of the situation.

Also, some side notes: Yes, this is edited from the original. I accidentally deleted everything and then had to go back and add everything back in. So I also had to re-tag people too. And I also added a bit more explanation at the end. I meant to do so when I originally posted but it never got done till now. Sry. Also sry that it’s so long

[theantisocialcritic]

Archive Project - January 6, 2014 - Best Films of 2013

Welcome to Day 2 of the Hummy Awards! Today we will be reviewing the best movies per genre of 2013. The Genres we will awarding today will be: Comedy, Fantasy, Science-Fiction, Romance, Action, Thriller, Super-hero, Animated, Book-Adapted, Drama, Christian, Family and Art. We will also be awarding movies with the titles of: Least Subtle Movie of 2013, Most Divisive Movie of 2013 and Most Underrated Movie of 2013.   Lets get started! ————————————————————————————————————————— Best Comedy of 2013 ————————————————————————————————————————— Nominees: This is the End, The World's End, Anchorman 2, Saving Mr. Banks. Winner: The World's End!! Runner-up: Anchorman 2 This year we were treated to the final part of the "Cornetto Trilogy", the end to a long term mashup of the creative team behind such works as Shawn of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. The World's End is a wonderful sendoff from that creative team. I hope we see more from Simon Pegg and Nick Frost in the future! ————————————————————————————————————————— Best Fantasy Film of 2013 ————————————————————————————————————————— Nominees: The Great and Powerful Oz, Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters, The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, 47 Ronin. Winner: The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug!! Runner-up: The Great and Powerful Oz Its a Lord of the Rings movie, even the worst Lord of the Rings movie is still dwarfs everything around it… ————————————————————————————————————————— Best Science-Fiction Film of 2013 ————————————————————————————————————————— Nominees: Star Trek into Darkness, Pacific Rim, Oblivion, Elysium, Gravity, Ender's Game. Winner: Elysium!! Runner-up: Star Trek into Darkness Props to Elysium for being the freshest new Science Fiction movie out in a while! Same for Star Trek for being an awesome sequel to the famed 2009 reboot. ————————————————————————————————————————— Best Romance/Relationship Movie of 2013 ————————————————————————————————————————— Nominees: Warm Bodies, The Spectacular Now, Don Jon, About Time. Winner: Don Jon!! Runner-up: Warm Bodies Trashy as it may be (and believe me, its is really trashy!!), Don Jon stands as a fascinating exploration of relationships and an impressive directorial debut for Joseph Gordon-Levitt! ————————————————————————————————————————— Best Action Movie of 2013 ————————————————————————————————————————— Nominees: Olympus Has Fallen, Iron Man 3, Star Trek into Darkness, Man of Steel, White House Down, Pacifc Rim, Elysium, Kick A** 2, The Wolverine, Lone Survivor. Winner: Elysium!! Runner-up: Olympus Has Fallen Props again to Elysium for giving us some of the coolest, most awesome and bloodiest action this year! ————————————————————————————————————————— Best Thriller of 2013 ————————————————————————————————————————— Nominees: Gravity, Captain Phillips Winner: Gravity!! Runner-up: Captain Phillips What can I say? I liked Gravity more than I liked Captain Phillips... ————————————————————————————————————————— Best Superhero Film of 2013 ————————————————————————————————————————— Nominees: Iron Man 3, Man of Steel, Kick A** 2, The Wolverine, Thor: The Dark World. Winner: Iron Man 3!! Runner-up: Man of Steel Nearly a year after The Avengers, nobody knew where the Marvel movies were going to go. How could they possible be as good as before? Where would they go? How can they make the stories without having the entire team show up? With Iron Man 3 we got our answer! Standing alone as the best movie in the Iron Man series and serving as an awesome followup documenting life in the post-Avengers world. No other Superhero movie had bigger shoes to fill and filled them so effectively. ————————————————————————————————————————— Best Animated Film of 2013 ————————————————————————————————————————— Nominees: Monsters University, Despicable Me 2, Frozen, Epic Winner: Frozen!! Runner-up: Despicable Me 2 Heres where I begin getting hate letters for not making Monsters University the best movie…. Frozen stands as a movie so good is competes with major film releases. So it wins!! The End! ————————————————————————————————————————— Best Book Adaptation of 2013 ————————————————————————————————————————— Nominees: Warm Bodies, World War Z, Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters, Kick A** 2, Twelve Years a Slave, Catching Fire, The Book Thief, Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom, Great Gatsby. Winner: The Great Gatsby!! Runner-up: Catching Fire All the flare of Hollywood Blockbusters put into one of the best novels of all time and you get one of the most interesting adaptions this year. ————————————————————————————————————————— Best Drama of 2013 ————————————————————————————————————————— Nominees: Prisoners, Rush, Twelve Years a Slave, American Hustle, Lovelace, 42 Winner: Prisoners!! Runner-up: Rush For being the tensest and best made drama of the year, Prisoners takes away best drama. ————————————————————————————————————————— Best Christian Film of 2013 ————————————————————————————————————————— Nominees: Grace Unplugged, I'm in Love with a Church Girl, Black Nativity Winner: Grace Unplugged!! Runner-up: I'm in Love with a Church Girl For having the best message for young Christians, Grace Unplugged wins Best Christian film of 2013! ————————————————————————————————————————— Best Family Film of 2013 ————————————————————————————————————————— Nominees: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Saving Mr. Banks, Oz the Great and Powerful, Monsters University, Despicible Me 2, Frozen. Winner: Saving Mr. Banks!! Runner-up: Oz the Great and Powerful If you don't mind a few swear words, Saving Mr. Banks is one of the sweetest films of the year! ————————————————————————————————————————— Best Art Film of 2013 ————————————————————————————————————————— Nominees: Inside Llewyn Davis, Twelve Years a Slave, Dallas Buyers Club, Spring Breakers. Winner: Inside Llewyn Davis!! Runner-up: Twelve Years a Slave For being an deep, fascinating look into the life of a down on his luck Folk singer with lots of symbolism and lull, Llewyn Davis wins best Art film! Thank you to the Coen Brothers! ————————————————————————————————————————— ————————————————————————————————————————— Least Subtle Film of 2013 ————————————————————————————————————————— Least Subtle Film is an award specifically designed to call out films that either intentionally or accidentally favor blunt or unsubtle stories ands themes in their films in favor of subtle storytelling. While being blunt isn't inherently a bad thing, it stands to reason that lacking subtlety in a lot of cases is detrimental to the films. Nominees: White House Down, Elysium, World War Z, Grace Unplugged Winner: White House Down!! Runner-up: Elysium   I wanted to give this award to Elysium for how severely blunt that film's message on social inequality is but I liked that movie, so the award goes to White House Down. This movie works under such a black and white understanding of American politics and calls out Republicans as evil, dumb, corrupt, puppets to the corporations that want nothing but money, while stating the Democrats (notably Obama) are thoughtful peacekeepers that want to help the poor. If your liberal, chances are you'll think this film is cheesy and fun but to a conservative like myself it's a giant middle finger. The action is fun but I have nothing else positive to say about it. I think Olympus Has Fallen was much better. ————————————————————————————————————————— Most Underrated Film of 2013 ————————————————————————————————————————— Every year dozens of great films pass under the radar while major action films and romantic comedies hog the spotlight. Here we pay tribute to a few of them that the majority of film buffs missed out on. Nominees: Oblivion, Pacific Rim, Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters, Kick A** 2, The Spectacular Now, About Time, Dallas Buyers Club. Winner: Kick A** 2!! Runner-up: Pacific Rim While Pacific Rim flopped in the US it did rather well overseas (surprising from the US being obsessed with the Transformers films for some reason). Kick Butt 2 on the other hand received very little attention and was heavily criticized by a number of critics. You know what? The critics that gave this movie negative reviews are wrong. It might not be as great as the original film but Kick-Higny 2 feels like a natural continuation of the story from the first movie and makes me extremely excited at the possibility of a third movie, as teased in the final scene. Hopefully the lowered budget on this film allowed it enough of a profit margin to earn the rights to a Kick-Glutius Maximus 3. To quote a movie nobody but me has seen, "Pray everybody!". ————————————————————————————————————————— Most Divisive Movie of 2013 ————————————————————————————————————————— I don't even need a nominees selection to determine which film this year had audiences more split over it. Winner: Man of Steel!! No film this year has divided audiences more to hate or love a movie this much since Les Miserables last year! I'm in the camp that enjoys the film as an awesome action movie with a fresh take on Superman. This movie however has a lot of detractors who point out major flaws in the film and the directing the Warner Brothers is taking to force out a Justice League movie as soon as possible. Honestly though we can't accurately judge where Warner Brothers is taking this until after Batman vs. Superman and Justice League have both be released so for now I'm just enjoying an awesome movie with my favorite Superhero. If you disagree that Man of Steel is good than I completely understand your thoughts but these are mine. Man of Steel is a good movie IN MY OPINION. ————————————————————————————————————————— ————————————————————————————————————————— For more on Man of Steel, check out the Nostalgia Critic and Angry Joe's review here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1AJyKJ4BCo

[amphtaminedreams]

50 Films You’ve Got to Watch

Hi to anyone who’s reading,

I thought I’d take a break from the fashion posts to ramble on about something else that I’m really interested in for a hot minute. And I say ramble with intent, because I do go ON. 

The topic is film and I thought that I’d make a list of my 50 must watches. These are movies that I feel had the biggest impact on me which means, yes, I do have tattoos referring to a couple of them, lol. My genre of choice is usually horror and although there has been a bit of a “horror renaissance” and a shift towards prioritising good quality storylines over jump scares in recent years, on the whole, they typically aren’t the most highbrow films out there, so there aren’t THAT many on this list. Most of the horror films I listed are just genuinely good quality rather than a straight-up gorefest or anything too terrifying, however, I’m not that easily scared so if you did fancy watching any of the films I mentioned, take that with a slight pinch of salt!

Also, this isn’t anything to take too seriously. I really like movies and cinema but I’m also not a movie critic and this is more of a hobby than something I want to pursue. Like, I’m completely aware of how unrealistic working in TV or film is as a career if your family isn’t loaded. Very aware. Painfully aware you could say (imagine me sighing as I’m writing this). That being said, part of me does want to do a ranking of every film I’ve seen in 2019 at some point this year, so if anybody else is interested in this kinda thing let me know! 

Lauren x

50 Films You’ve Got to Watch:

1. Black Swan (2010)

“I felt it. Perfect. It was perfect.”

I watched Black Swan years ago now and I still remember how disturbing I found it and how exciting that was to me. I was probably a bit too young (young enough that my mum felt it necessary to cover my eyes during the Natalie Portman/Mila Kunis sex scene, lol) but even then I could recognise that it was a beautifully haunting film and Darren Aronofsky has gone on to be one of my favourite directors.

2. Jennifer’s Body (2009)

“And now, I'm eating your boyfriend. See? At least I'm consistent.”

Engrave it on my tombstone: JENNIFER’S BODY DESERVED BETTER. I fully believe that if this movie was released in 2019, it wouldn’t have faced half the criticisms it did back in 2009. It genuinely was ahead of its time. Megan Fox? As a boy-eating, demonic cheerleader? And Amanda Seyfried? Some of the most ICONIC DIALOGUE EVER? It should’ve invented a GENRE. Instead it got paid DUST. Yes, when I write in caps lock, my internal voice is YELLING. I feel passionately about this, okay?!

3. La La Land (2016)

“I guess I'll see you in the movies.”

Again, maybe it’s a basic film bitch opinion to have but I adored La La Land. I saw it at the cinema and spent the last 20 minutes of the film sobbing, only to find my mum and sister distinctly underwhelmed. I indignantly ranted back then to them how perfect a film it was and I’m going to do the same thing now so if you are reading and you didn’t like it, then you should probably just move on because I wouldn’t want to read myself banging on about Emma Stone again for several paragraphs either (don’t worry, I’ll try and keep it to one). I can’t help it. This film was just TOO REAL! Like, in every way but the actual plot and characters, La La Land has the dreamlike quality of a fairytale. The colours are rich and thick and always complimentary, the musical sequences are either like Disney songs or lullabies, and Emma and Ryan Gosling are made for each other. But then life and ambitions and resentments get in the way. And that’s the real part! That’s why it’s so bloody good! 

4. Easy A (2010)

“People thought I was a dirty skank? Fine. I’d be the dirtiest skank they’d ever seen.”

And so we arrive at the movie that actually began my love affair with Emma Stone. Iconic. Iconic in every way. The bad reputation montage is cinematic excellence. For real, though, this is so underrated as a coming of age movie. Like don’t get me wrong, Mean Girls is everything (I easily could’ve included it on this list but I feel like it’s just a given that anyone who grew up in the noughties loves that film) but Easy A deserves just as much credit. It has Penn Badgley, one of the few celebrity males I care about! Amanda Bynes! Aly Michalka! Lisa Kudrow! Did I mention Emma Stone?

5. Kill Bill (2003)

“Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time!”

If I had to put any of these films as my singular favourite, it would probably be the first Kill Bill. Controversial, I know; even my dad introduced it to me as the weaker of the two. To list any Quentin Tarantino movie as the one that inspired you to want to be a director is probably a very cliche film student thing to say BUT I’m not a film student and I’ve put my directing pipe dream permanently to one side, thus, coming from me it’s not as hackneyed a statement. Or so I tell myself, lol. Basically, I was in awe of Kill Bill from start to finish. The colourisation is a dream, from the crazy 88 scene to the final fight between The Bridge and O Ren Ishii, and I particularly remember loving the animation sequence despite that not really being my kinda thing. I was just so impressed with how seamlessly something so out of place, considering the live action format of the rest of the film, fit in with everything else; even the scenes that should be absurd instead work with the comic book style narrative. Uma Thurman is of course amazing and iconic af but Lucy Liu as O Ren Ishii is my favourite thing about this film and the line I chose gave me all the bad bitch energy I need to, I think, get me through the rest of my time on this planet. If not, the tattooed version of this still I have on my arm should hopefully do the job. Yep, I truly ascended to a divine level of basic film hoe with that life choice.

6. Marie Antoinette (2006)

“This, Madame, is Versailles.”

The first Sofia Coppola film on this list, I love this woman’s work to death. Regardless of the content she’s working with, the end result always gives me the feeling I’m watching an extended music video. They always have this almost dreamlike quality to them and everything from the colour palette to the camera movements to the soundtrack in Marie Antoinette is tied together perfectly.

7. Mother! (2017)

“You never loved me. You just loved how much I loved you.”

I was tense throughout the entirety of Mother. As a socially anxious, obsessively tidy control freak, this whole film was like something from one of my nightmares; think unwanted house party on crack. I was mentally screaming along with Jennifer Lawrence for all of those people to get out, whilst simultaneously just staring at her face because she is so fucking gorgeous! Even when she’s completely lost it! Totally unrealistic but it makes for some really pretty shots! And then there’s the ending which left me kind of like “what the fuck did I just watch?” Which is what Darren Aronofsky films do best. They’re terrifying but also quite beautiful and Mother is no exception.

8. Gerald’s Game (2017)

“Everybody's got a little corner in there somewhere. A button they won't admit they want pressed.”

I finally got round to watching this for the first time the other day and I absolutely loved it. It probably helps that the last Stephen King adaptation I saw was Pet Sematary, so despite the praise this got at the time, my expectations weren’t super high, but I think this really is a perfect horror film. It’s clever, doesn’t rely on jump scares, and the creepy scenes that are in there really get under your skin. It drags a little in the middle though it’s beautifully shot, acted and has one of the few “body horror” scenes in a horror that’s actually made me cringe.

9. A Beautiful Mind (2001)

“I think that's what it's like with all our dreams and our nightmares, Martin, we've got to keep feeding them for them to stay alive.”

I don’t want to say too much about this film and spoil the plot, so I’ll just say that it’s incredible. Devastatingly sad but also wonderfully hopeful at the same time, and solidified my interest in psychology! I could watch Jennifer Connelly all day.

10. Alien (1979)

“This is Ripley, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off.”

As a horror fan, I don’t think I need to explain why this film’s on the list. It’s been raved about and video essayed and called a pioneer of the genre ad nauseam. Again, not that this is really anything new but part of what I love about this movie is the context of its release and success; before Sigourney Weaver’s portrayal of Ellen Ripley, it was a rare occurrence to have a female protagonist in an action-based movie. Alien really paved the way for women to take up space in a previously male-dominated genre.

11. 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

“Crazy is building your ark after the flood has already come.”

I saw this for the first time at the cinema and pretty much went in blind. I hadn’t seen Cloverfield but I love Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Final Destination 3 was always my favourite of the franchise, lol) and there wasn’t really anything else on worth seeing, so my sister and I chose this and it was an experience. Like, of all the films on this list, this is probably the one that had me most on edge and I’m not sure watching it on your laptop on Putlocker will do it justice. You need the curtains pulled to, the volume way up and complete silence.

12. American Psycho (2000)

“Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, you fucking stupid bastard!”

There isn’t a dull moment in American Psycho. Every line is quotable and every scene is straight to the point. I feel like this film is a masterclass in that Stanley Kubrick quote about editing where he says he liked to get rid of everything that was not absolutely vital to advancing the plot or the audience’s understanding of the character in any way. Plus, the ending is trippy af! Or maybe I’m just a bit oblivious to something that was quite obvious throughout, who knows. Either way, what the final scenes really mean are fun to think about.

13. The Descent (2005)

“I'm an English teacher, not fucking Tomb Raider.”

Okay, so I literally just watched this the other day and had to begrudgingly remove Silent Hill to make space for it (I KNOW it was critically panned and I KNOW the video game is better but I liked the visuals, OKAY!?) because The Descent is truly one of the best horror films I’ve ever seen. Before we even get to the supernatural element of the creatures, which are genuinely creepy for once, there’s a party bag of other phobia-inducing sequences that had me emotionally exhausted within the first half hour alone. Claustrophobia, darkness, heights, actual cringeworthy body horror, The Descent has something for everyone. The way it utilises space (or lack of for that matter) and darkness and panicked camera pans makes you feel as if you are really down in the cave with the characters. To add to that, I was actually rooting for all of them too; it probably helped that they were English rather than the typical American slasher cast but I found them to be a believable and likeable group of women. I truly did want them all to get out alive *spoilers*, which only made the ending all the more devastating and although the general narrative is quite predictable, the way in which things get wrapped up left just the right amount of shocks and questions to leave you reeling.

14. Eighth Grade (2018)

“Gucci.”

No film has ever captured what it’s like having social anxiety during “high school” (it’s called secondary school here in England, I know, but you get me) better than Eighth Grade. A tribute to the feeling of never quite fitting in and wishing you knew how to do what everyone else seems to be able to do naturally, it encapsulates that awkwardness with an accuracy that is really impressive considering that 1. it’s Bo Burnham’s first film, and 2. he’s not...like...a 13 year old girl. It is just as funny as it is sad and Elsie Fisher is great and so, so believable. Girl should’ve won some kind of Oscar.

15. American Beauty (1999)

“I don't think that there's anything worse than being ordinary.”

I wavered on whether or not to include this film on the list due to the Kevin Spacey controversy and decided that I had to with the disclaimer that I watched it quite some time before the stories about him came out and won’t ever watch any of the new things he inevitably ends up doing (because Hollywood has a notoriously short memory when it comes to the actions of disgraced male actors, lol). You can’t deny the amount of talent and skill that went into making a film so graceful and elegant and yet in equal parts unnerving, and I don’t think we should refuse to acknowledge the achievements of everyone else on that set because of Spacey’s behaviour. 

16. Bandersnatch (2018)

“The past is immutable, Stefan. No matter how painful it is, we can't change things. We can't choose differently with hindsight. We all have to learn to accept that.”

As I was watching/playing through Bandersnatch, I didn’t necessarily love it. I think I’m echoing a common sentiment when I say that I was kinda confused. I was desperately trying to *spoiler* avoid the option of the protagonist murdering their dad (he seemed like a nice guy!?) but somehow always ended up there by their logic. So I watched most of the endings and then I went on and busied myself for the rest of the evening. AND I COULDN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. One minute I was completely deluding myself into believing the whole parallel universes thing was true and that I should test it out (don’t ask), and then the next I was thinking how disturbing it was that we’d been basically been inside the head of a person experiencing a mental breakdown severe enough for them murdering their dad, who had only ever wanted to help when you think about it objectively, to seem rational. The confusion started making sense within the context of the experience of the protagonist and our role as the audience and though I hadn’t realised it at the time, I’d been completely absorbed in the episode. Maybe the confusion wasn’t intentional, maybe I’m giving Charlie Brooker too much credit based on the recent couple of series of Black Mirror BUT I can’t deny that Bandersnatch left a huge mark on me, and after all, this is the man who wrote White Christmas. 

17. Get Out (2017)

“White girls. They get you every time.”

Going into this film, I was cocky. I’ve gotten pretty good at predicting what’s going to happen in things, probably just because I watch too much TV, but from the trailer I was sure I knew exactly what was going to happen. And then, I was completely blown away. The ending was SO SMART, in terms of both the within universe storytelling and also the metaphorical narrative/commentary on the way our society treats black men and women. Like those early episodes of Black Mirror, it had me like “how the fuck did Jordan Peele think of that!?”. I can only dream of being as creative in my writing one day. Even little plot points like where the “police” car turns up at the end and your stomach sinks and you realise the intention of that is most likely to help you empathise with what the average African-American person feels in their day to day life when police make themselves present, what with institutional police brutality and racial profiling; it’s clear so much thought went into this script.

18. Ghost Stories (2017)

“It's funny, isn't it? How it's always the last key that unlocks everything.”

I don’t have all too much to say about this one apart from that I love a well-constructed English horror. I feel like it’s something we don’t do all too often and to be honest, I’m struggling to think of many English horror films in the first place. Ghost Stories is a great example of why we need more; it’s smart and spooky and folky without hitting you over the head with all those elements and Andy Nyman is a perfect lead. Love a bit of Martin Freeman too.

19. Girl, Interrupted (1999)

“Crazy isn't being broken, or swallowing a dark secret. It's you, or me, amplified.”

Maybe this is the 13 year old black and white Tumblr girl in me jumping out but I still adore this film. I know it’s not necessarily the most critically well received but Winona Ryder, Angelina Jolie and Brittany Murphy are 3 of my favourite actresses and I do love the script. I also like the way that Borderline Personality Disorder was characterised in Winona’s character Susanna (I’m wavering on whether to call her a character as if I recall correctly the book was based on the author’s real experience) in that it was quite subtle and that she wasn’t portrayed as manipulative, or aggressive or basically, as the villain, which I feel is usually the go-to. It focussed more on the mood aspects and the way that people with BPD tend to latch onto and idealise others, as Susanna does with Lisa, and these are both things that I have personally struggled with in the past.

20. Hereditary (2018)

“All I do is worry and slave and defend you, and all I get back is that fucking face on your face!”

It was hard to find a quote that encapsulated what makes Hereditary so great because so much of it is about what isn’t said, if that makes sense. It’s a lot of pained silences and resentful looks and horrified screams, and doesn’t that sound like a fun time? Honestly, it’s not necessarily, lmao. Shocker. It has you feeling like something awful is about to happen the whole time, deep in the pit of your stomach, but I like that in a film, when it does make you properly feel. Ari Aster gets slow-burning dread just right in his exploration of dysfunctional families and grudges, with a few heart-sinking shocks thrown in for good measure all without overdoing the jump scares. There are a lot of deeply unnerving “supernatural” moments but there are just as many horrifically realistic familial conflict scenes that give you that whole “something is wrong” gut instinct in equal measures. It’s been a year and I’m still so angry that Toni Collette didn’t get an Oscar nomination for her performance, because it was really the perfect opportunity to break down the invisible wall between horror and critical recognition. On a more positive note, I loved Midsommar too (not as much as Hereditary but it was still a trip) and I cannot wait to see what Ari Aster does next. Once again, I’ll be in the cinema on opening night.

21. Heathers (1988)

“Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count.”

Heathers is iconic in every way: the outfits, the cast, the lines. I mean, the acting can be a bit iffy at times but I honestly think that without Heathers, Jennifer’s Body might never have existed and that’s a world I wouldn’t want to live in. There was so much choice when I was picking a line to summarise why I like it so much and of course, “fuck me gently with a chain saw, do I look like Mother Theresa?” deserves an honourable mention. You almost made it bby. The TV remake? We don’t speak of it.

22. Hot Fuzz (2007)

“The way we see it, it’s all for the greater good.”

It might not be the “artiest” movie ever but I’ve seen Hot Fuzz so many times and it never gets old. Though I used to love it when I was younger purely for the PG-13 gore, now I appreciate it for the absurdity and the ridiculousness and to be honest, the total believability of the plot when it comes to towns ruled by low-key hostile, doddery old white people. I should know, I live in one.

23. Inglourious Basterds (2009)

“You probably heard we ain't in the prisoner-takin' business. We in the killin' Nazi business. And cousin, business is a-boomin’.”

I wish I wasn’t a hoe for Quentin Tarantino films (I’ve felt personally attacked by many a poundlandbandit starter pack) but I am. The breakneck pacing, the tongue in cheek dialogue and the gore all make this one of my ultimate favourites. Also, I have a huge crush on Melanie Laurent. Yes, it’s the French accent. No, I don’t know the mechanics of how that works. I hear someone speak French and I want to marry them! I can’t help it!

24. Ingrid Goes West (2017)

“Are you actually insane?”

This seems like a random choice to have on the list seeing as it was never really that hyped up, nor did it receive masses of critical acclaim. It did get positive reviews but that was about it. However, as soon as I saw the trailer, I knew I had to see it. Months, and an £8 purchase from HMV later, I finally got to watch Ingrid Goes West and I loved every moment of it. Whilst Aubrey Plaza’s character, I feel, is an exploration of a lot of young women’s insecurities and self-doubts and fears, blown up to monstrous proportions (or maybe just mine, lol), and a 90 minute film about that doesn’t sound all that revolutionary, this one is as intense as it is stylish and darkly comedic and that’s what puts it on the map for me. 

25. Insidious (2011)

“I like to call them travellers.”

So this film scared the ever-living SHIT out of me when I was younger and though I now consider horror my favourite genre and watch it on the regular with absolutely no qualms, 13 year old me was (not to use the world lightly) mildly traumatised. I genuinely couldn’t be home alone by myself or sleep at night without thinking the old woman ghost from the beginning was outside my room for a good 6 months or so. Like it literally exacerbated an already present sleep disorder to the point where my understandably frustrated-at-being-woken-up-nightly-by-her-panicking-daughter mother got me referred for CBT (to reflect on a time when I didn’t know what CBT or CAMHS was is…blissful, lol). And maybe because of that, in my mind, I still conceptualise it as one of the very few horror movies that has actually scared me, hence its place on the list. That scene where we first see that Star Wars looking red faced devil? I’d probably still nope out even now.

26. It Follows (2014)

“It could look like someone you know or it could be a stranger in a crowd. Whatever helps it get close to you.”

There’s not too much to say about It Follows, other than that it’s a good horror film and more importantly just a really good film. I feel it’s a crucial, early part of this warmly welcomed horror renaissance we are now fully in the thick of where writers are focussing less on making people gasp and more on actual good quality cinema. It’s a simple concept that leaves enough room for you to ask your own questions whilst still feeling somewhat complete, and not annoyingly open-ended. The shots are good, the characters are normal enough to be believable, and the colour palette is Fincher-esque; the muted tones perfectly complement the feelings of dread that run throughout. Whilst you don’t need to be concerned with what the whole thing is a metaphor of in order to enjoy the film, the possibility of there being that second reading of the narrative, for me, elevate it to a higher level. In other words, it’s got *Shrek voice* layers.

27. Juno (2007)

“I'm just gonna go ahead and nip this thing in the bud. Cuz you know, they say pregnancy often leads to…you know...an infant.”

I love Ellen Page. I love Michael Cera. Together they are the best thing ever. See, I’m not really much of a rom-com girl but I see this as less of a rom-com and more of a coming of age film with romantic snippets and great one liners. It’s sweet and whimsical and funny but also really fucking real in parts, and it’s definitely what I would consider a modern classic. If you haven’t watched it already, do!

28. Suspiria (2018)

“Love and manipulation, they share houses very often. They are frequent bedfellows.”

Witches! Ballet dancing! Decapitation! Tilda Swinton! What’s not to love? As soon as I saw the trailer for Suspiria, I knew I had to see it. Creepy but also beautifully shot and scored, it was worth the 8 month wait from the Venice Film Festival and eventual caving and watching on 123Movies after I couldn’t find the DVD on Amazon; I finally got to tick it off my watch list only to like it so much I had to add the original Suspiria back on.

29. Mulholland Drive (2001)

“I hope that I never see that face, ever, outside of a dream.”

Another film which had me like WTF by the end, I really recommend Mulholland Drive for anyone who wants to be vaguely creeped out and extremely confused at the same time. See, I really love a film where you spend the next few hours after watching researching all the different interpretations and reading interviews with the director. That sounds sarcastic, but honestly, I love it. It’s a moody, film-noir style mindfuck of a movie and even after doing my research I’m still quite baffled. That’s the best part. 

30. Requiem for a Dream (2000)

“Purple in the morning, blue in the afternoon, orange in the evening.”

It took me a while to get on board with seeing Marlon Wayans in a serious role (I’ve seen White Chicks far too many times, clearly), but once I did, I was into it. To be totally honest, I don’t think there’s a single happy moment in this film; it comes up quite frequently as one of the most disturbing of all time, which I’m sure Aronofsky probably thinks of as another notch on his belt. Whilst imo, that’s quite a grandiose claim, Requiem for a Dream definitely stuck in my mind after I watched it. Even if you’ve never watched the film, the ending sequence is notorious for how fucked up it is and I do think it’s earned the infamy. What stuck out more to me, though, was how purposeful every shot and sequence felt in terms of trying to let you into the character’s states of mind, the short lived bursts of euphoria and the panicked downwards spirals.  I think it will always be one of the most compelling films about addiction for highlighting how terrifyingly out of one’s control it can be.  

31. Room (2015)

“No one is strong alone.”

This film made me cry buckets. Brie Larson and Jacob Tremblay are wonderful, and everyone involved deserved all the Oscar hype. Every line was so heartfelt and emotive, and I loved Tremblay’s voiceovers. To translate the stream of consciousness of a kid from page to screen in a way that it remains believable in spite of its wisdom (not like those tweets where people try to make out their kid just casually made some off the cuff scathing political jibe at the dinner table) is quite the feat and similarly, I’m in awe of how the director managed to communicate the pain and confusion of the characters on a level that transcended the physical confines of said room. The escape scene had my heart in my mouth. All this being said, I should really read the book because it’s supposed to be even better. 

32. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World (2010)

‘When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.”

Michael Cera and Mary Elizabeth Winstead are two of my favourite actors and so it’s a given that Scott Pilgrim is one of my favourite films. It’s such a fun, easy watch and the video-game inspired directorial style makes it, in terms of cinematography, probably the most memorable Edgar Wright film on this list imo. The concept, based on the graphic novel, is quite a simple one but that doesn’t stop it being entertaining from start to finish. The rest of the cast is great too: Brie Larson, Anna Kendrick, Mae Whitman, Aubrey Plaza and Alison Pill (Ivy from American Horror Story, anyone?) All make appearances, plus Chris Evans. He’s Captain America or something, right?

33. Scream (1996)

“No, please don't kill me, Mr. Ghostface, I wanna be in the sequel!”

The Scream movies were my absolute favourite when I was just getting into “horror” as a 13/14 year old because they were always pretty tame in terms of scares but nonetheless, always a trip. Though, controversially, I’d probably say I enjoyed Scream 4 just as much as the first one (I am a bit of an Emma Roberts stan), I chose the first one purely for how iconic it was and how ahead of its time. It mixed satire and horror in a way that hadn’t really been done in such a mainstream way before and made it possible for films like Cabin in the Woods and The Final Girls to do so well.

34. Shaun of the Dead (2004)

“Take car. Go to Mum's. Kill Phil, sorry, grab Liz, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over.”

I’ve seen Shaun of the Dead way, way, way too many times and I’ll still probably watch it again the next time ITV decide to show it too. It makes me laugh, it’s got lots of good gore and it’s easy to follow. The perfect film to put on whilst eating a take away, as long as you’re not too squeamish, lol.

35. Silence of the Lambs (1991)

“Well, Clarice. Have the lambs stopped screaming?”

Jodie Foster’s portrayal of Clarice Starling makes her one of my favourite movie heroines of all time; quietly courageous, she was the type of female lead that really hadn’t cropped up all that much in the films that came before Silence of the Lambs. And despite its problematic handling of certain issues, it’s a fucking incredible film. The thing about Hannibal Lecter is that they don’t have to tell you that he’s always one step ahead, you see it for yourself (the elevator scene!) and so it kinda feels like he’s looking into YOUR soul too. The confrontation at the end between Clarice and Buffalo Bill is one of the most nerve-racking 15 minutes or so of film I’ve ever watched, and if I ever get asked to justify why I’m scared of the dark again, I’m going to point straight to this scene. Yes, I’m a baby but my fears are VALID!

36. Silver Linings Playbook (2012)

“I do this! Time after time after time! I do all this shit for other people! And then I wake up and I'm empty! I have nothing!”

As you can probably tell from my inclusion of Mother! on this list, I love Jennifer Lawrence, and this is probably my favourite drama film of hers. The way that she and Bradley Cooper portray two people struggling with mental illness is refreshingly honest in that it shows it can make you quite an unlikeable person at times, albeit someone who is just trying their best to survive. That being said, in spite of the subject matter it’s still a relatively light and easy-to-watch film. The diner scene in particular is a masterclass in realistic conflict and reaction, and I hate to be “ooo, edgy” but several of the lines did strike a really deep chord.

37. The Babadook (2014)

“Sometimes I just want to smash your head against the brick wall until your fucking brains pop out.”

The best thing that the Babadook does, much like It Follows, is instils a sense of deep seated dread in you before you even see the supernatural forces at work. The washed out colour palette, apparent emotional disconnect of Jennifer Kent’s (who also directs!) character, and the disorienting movements of the camera all help to create a lingering unease that is just as effective as the grossly uncanny appearance of the monster/ghost/creature/whatever-you-want-to-call-it himself. It’s obvious that Kent had a very clear vision of the story she wanted to tell and even more so that she is a very talented woman; I hope to see even more female directed horror films in the future if the Babadook is anything to go by. The way this film blurred the lines between the inner struggles of a grieving family and the outside supposedly paranormal influence was unsettling as fuck and to get into the psychology of a mother left on her own to raise a small child and how terrifying that might feel is something only a immensely intuitive and empathetic woman could do. Props to her.

38. The Craft (1996)

“We are the weirdos, mister.”

Not to sound all halloween-is-the-only-day-of-the-year-I-care-about VSCO girl (although that might actually be quite an accurate description of me to be honest), but if there’s one thing that sticks in my mind about the craft, it’s the aesthetic. It’s kind of what I aim to emulate in every aspect of my life, NBD. Seriously, when I was trying to pick a still, I was spoilt for choice. The rituals, the outfits, the witchy interiors; there’s this one GIF of Nancy, Rochelle, Bonnie (and maybe Sarah?) lighting all these gorgeous candles and if I could walk around with it permanently looping on my forehead, I would. And ignoring my shallow reasons for liking The Craft, it’s just a really good film. Nancy Downs is probably one of the most interesting female villains of all time and I’m obsessed with anything that explores magic and the occult. It’s equal parts dark and girly, not to use that in a derivative way at all, in that not only does it teeter on the line of being scary, it’s also a gritty exploration of female friendship, power and jealousy. If you are a halloween-is-the-only-day-of-the-year-I-care-about VSCO girl, definitely watch it; more power to you.

39. The Favourite (2018)

“All I know is, your carriage awaits and my maid is on her way up with something called a pineapple.”

I’d seen The Favourite twice within, like, a month of it being released in British cinemas and I do not have a single regret about that; well, maybe a minor regret in paying over £12 to see it in the Leicester Square Odeon with the assumption that the extra price meant fancy seats (it didn’t), but on the whole, I’m pretty happy with my life choices. Emma Stone, Olivia Colman, and the period Mean Girls comparison drew me in but I came back the second time for the costumes, the dialogue, the editing and Sarah Churchill, Duchess of Marlborough. Or Rachel Weiss, in other words. See, The Favourite is superbly casted in that Yorgos Lanthimos must have known we can’t help but see Emma Stone as the “good girl”/protagonist and so it took me a whole second viewing to see her character for what she really was, and realise The Favourite is in some ways less a story of Abigail Masham’s rise to power and more the tragic disintegration of Sarah and Anne’s relationship. I’m sure you can view the film both ways but to view it as the latter brings a whole new dimension to it and the ending, imo. I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t go into the film expecting some vaguely historical lesbianism and that definitely made for a slightly awkward birthday viewing with my family BUT I wasn’t at all disappointed.

40. The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)

“If you dig a hole in the yard, better make it a big one.”

This film is slow-moving, weird and the acting can be stiff at the best of times, and yet somehow all these things add to the (take a shot every time I say-) dread that builds throughout. You don’t know exactly how things are going to end, but you do know it’s not well. Like in his latest directorial entry of The Favourite, Yorgos Lanthimos excels in the realm of the strange and vaguely fantastical through his script, score and cinematography, and so even though the settings are quite mundane, The Killing of a Sacred Deer kind of feels like some macabre modern fairytale, the moral of which I can’t quite work out. I can’t imagine anyone playing Martin more unnervingly than Barry Keoghan and I’m never going to complain about Nicole Kidman, but it’s the imagery of the tears of blood, Steven’s children dragging themselves along the floor and the ending scene that stuck with me long after the film had finished. If you’ve got the patience and you enjoyed the style of The Favourite, there’ll definitely be something positive for you to take away from The Killing of a Sacred Deer.

41. The Orphanage (2007)

“Seeing is not believing. It's the other way around. Believe, and you will see.”

When I was first told by my year 11 Spanish teacher that we were going to be watching The Orphanage in class, I definitely didn’t foresee myself including it in a top 50 films list 5 years later and yet here we are. I mean, I shouldn’t have been surprised really as she did tell us it was good and I had frequently seen it included in lists of the best horror films but as with pretty much anything our teachers would put on as an excuse not to teach for a few lessons (I’m really NOT complaining here, they deserve the break and I would definitely do the same, lol), my expectations were definitely low. Side note, I also since found out that Bilbao seems like a pretty cool place and there was a reason she kept banging on about that too, and so moral of the story, teachers do sometimes have some decent recommendations BUT my assumption was that The Orphanage must be pretty tame for her to show it to us. Parents-even of 16 of year olds-love to complain, lol. And to be fair,  it isn’t so much in your face scary so much as it is kind of tragic with an undertone of spooky but I really enjoyed it. I want to say that part of what I enjoyed about it so much was the mystery element but honestly I think a lot of that comes from the fact that it’s in Spanish so I had to work to follow what was actually going on. 

42. The Ring (2002)

“I can't imagine being stuck down a well all alone like that. How long could you survive?”

The Ring does visuals better than any other horror. The contorted faces of Samara’s victims, the infamous tape and the shots of the well all have a staple in pop culture for a reason. Whilst I don’t find Samara herself particularly frightening, the lore and mythology surrounding her feels so authentically creepy; the tape in particular reminds me of the kind of weird YouTube video you might stumble across when you’re supposed to be trying to get to bed late at night and instantly hate yourself for watching. Naomi Watts is a compelling lead and though I was probably rooting for Sarah Michelle Gellar in the American remake of the Grudge more (I still low-key associate her with the live-action Scooby-Doo and I have no shame), to compare other noughties horror classics, on the whole The Ring is definitely the better quality movie.

43. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

“I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living, or get busy dying.”

The Shawshank Redemption is just an unequivocally good film. On paper, it doesn’t necessarily have any of the things that draw me to a movie in it, but it’s brilliantly acted, written and shot. It’s frequently cited as one of the greatest movies of all time and I think that’s a very fair statement.

44. The Shining (1980)

“Wendy? Darling? Light of my life. I'm not gonna hurt ya. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just going to bash your brains in!”

I love The Shining. In terms of scares, not all that much happens in it, but what we do see (the corpse in the bath tub is fucking horrifying) undoubtedly leaves an impact. The score is so unnervingly perfect that I can still hear the sound that’s made when we see those 2…puppets? Costumed people? Basically some kind of weird furry activity-which believe me, makes sense if you’ve seen it-going on. And I only need to see a still of the Overlook Hotel and I can immediately feel the sense of claustrophobia and growing tension that Stanley Kubrick so effectively communicated. A lot of people shat on Shelley Duvall’s acting at the time and whilst she obviously didn’t match Jack Nicholson’s energy, she did come across as a woman genuinely traumatised which is sad when you do consider the effect that shooting the film had on her. With that aside, The Shining is a massively pivotal part of horror history and I’m very excited to see Doctor Sleep this year!

45. The Virgin Suicides (1999)

“Obviously, Doctor, you've never been a 13-year-old girl.”

It really is a toss up between Marie Antoinette and The Virgin Suicides when it comes to Sofia Coppola’s best film, and so of course I had to include them both. See, whereas Marie Antoinette could be the visual incarnation of an album like Marina and the Diamonds’ Electra Heart or Charli XCX’s Sucker (if you ignore the less than fortunate ending, lmao), The Virgin Suicides plays out more to the tunes of something less bubblegum pop and more breezy and mellow, maybe LDR’s Ultraviolence or Honeymoon. You could say in a way that this film romanticises suicide and you’d definitely have a point, but I think considering the fact that it’s based on a book and was made in a time when we were less aware of the damage popular media can do (I think there’s a similar point to be made about the way the villain of Silence of the Lambs’s gender is portrayed and linked to his motivation), I give it a pass. It does also kind of make sense for the film to take this approach; the Lisbon girls are viewed through the eyes of a group of boys who are infatuated with them but also ultimately know nothing about them. In a way, it’s almost a critique of the way these boys think and a commentary on just how stifling and confusing young womanhood can be. I think it’s a beautiful film and a perfect adaptation of Jeffrey Eugenides’ novel.

46. The VVitch (2015)

“Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?”

Is it sad that I have this quote tattooed on my back? Is it biased for me to say no? Because for me, just as much as the Virgin Suicides is about how stifling society’s expectations of young women and how they are supposed to think and act, The VVitch is about the demonisation of girls who go against this and how liberation and sexual freedom for so long were perceived as the result of some kind of satanic and deeply disturbing force at work rather than individual expressions of freedom and femininity. The ending is HAPPY, okay, and if you take away the misty, barren landscapes and the isolation and the paranoia and the baby eating witches and the accusations and the demonic goats, it’s kinda a dark feminist fairy tale to go against puritan panic. I mean, let’s be honest, *spoilers* Thomasin’s siblings were annoying AF. Not that I’m condoning child murder on any level, but you know. In a narrative context was it really so much of a loss when those little shits got the chop?

47. Thoroughbreds (2017)

“At the end of the day, I have a perfectly healthy brain. It just doesn't contain feelings. And that doesn't necessarily make me a bad person. It just means I have to work a little harder than everybody else to be good.”

I love Olivia Cooke. I love Anya Taylor-Joy. I love concise, cutting dialogue, the idea of middle class American social politics, and a little bit of (fictional, of course) murder thrown in there for good measure. Thus, I really love Thoroughbreds. If you watched it with the sound off, it’d be a Polo Ralph Lauren promotional film that gets really dark at the end, and what’s not to like about that?

48. We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)

“What are these people watching, people like me?”

I still haven’t got round to reading the book this film was based on and I feel like that’s something I need to get on top of ASAP, because it’s been sitting on my shelf for a long ass time. However, based on the little I know about how faithful a film adaptation it is, I think Ezra Miller and Tilda Swinton were a wonderful pairing, and this is a film that’s all about the characters, so it’s a good job they were so well cast. Miller does a great job at getting right under your skin and answering a lot of my questions about what leads someone to commit the kind of horrific crime that his character, Kevin, does. Arrogance, done subtly, is hard to pull off but he nails it, and Swinton is very, very believable as a haunted, grief-stricken mother wrestling with the natural question of the part she played in her son’s actions and the scrutiny that comes with it. Not only that but from the offset, every part of the cinematography helps to convey the feeling of impending doom that builds right up until the climax. The colour palette in particular, which for the most part doesn’t stray too far from the mundane greys and bleak washed-out tones perhaps reflective of Eva’s state of mind, does a great job of foreshadowing what to come when it quite purposefully does take a diversion. It’s all about the red, apparently. Take note.

49. Whiplash (2014)

“Any fucking moron can wave his arms and keep people in tempo. I was there to push people beyond what's expected of them. I believe that is an absolute necessity.”

You honestly wouldn’t believe that a film about drumming could feel like a horror and yet here Whiplash is, leaving me on the edge of my seat and wincing for, like, 2 hours straight. Tonally it couldn’t be more different from the other Damien Chazelle film on this list (La La Land), and yet it flows just as seamlessly and has his same impeccable rhythm; every word, yell and snarl slots perfectly into place and every swivel of the camera is flawlessly executed. If you’re looking for an intense and fast-paced drama, I can’t recommend Whiplash enough.

50. Zombieland (2009)

“Twelve's the new twenty. Gun please.”

Zombieland has only one fault: that Jesse Eisenberg’s character wasn’t played by Michael Cera. But it has Emma Stone and Woody Harrelson so I’ll let it slide. Not much to say about this one other than it’s a wild ride from start to finish, but simultaneously easy to watch and probably the most lighthearted zombie film out there. Almost like The Hangover or something along those lines, but with the addition of the undead. It’s a hard film not to enjoy and I’m just really hoping they don’t fuck up the sequel.

DISCLAIMER: 90% of these stills are from Filmgrab, it’s an amazing website!

[gracie-p8-officialblog]

Spilling Tea On Phantom of the Opera 2004

DISCLAIMER: I just want to say from the start that it is not my intention to offendanyone, you're entitled to your opinions and I'm allowed to have mine...

Ok, so, I just watched this movie a few days ago on my laptop and it was pretty much my first time sitting through the movie. I watched a few clips of the movie on YouTube but... Then, I decided to watch the whole movie. And this was my reaction.

Don't get me wrong! There WERE parts I liked but... That was just half of the movie... But overall... Um... It was meh. Ahem. Down to business!

My opinion on Gerard Butler as the Phantom? Um, wow. And not in a good way. I feel like this was a case of a talented performer being grossly miscast as the Phantom. I think this Tumblr post best describes on what I thought of his singing.

"He's supposed to have the voice of an angel, but it sounds like he's been gargling vinegar" ~Quoted by @faded-florals

Don't get me wrong. His voice is quite good for an untrained singer but... The Phantom is one of the biggest musical theatre roles of all time! It's right up there with Jean Valjean. It's really not a role that could go a competent singer, someone who's never sang professionally before but could be good once they've been trained up a bit. The role demands a truly great singer... And he wasn't right for the part.

His voice felt too strainy, growly and rock-ish for the Phantom. I didn't like how Joel Schumacher bought into the whole "sexy Phantom" thing and cast a hunky heart-throb, who was nowhere near disfigured enough. It's meant to be a gothic thriller novel with a small romantic subplot, not a B-grade vampire romance movie!

As for Emmy Rossum as Miss Christine Daae... it's true, her voice is good. She should know though, should she wish to excel, she has MUCH still to learn (Heeeeehee. Sorry. Couldn't resist.)

Emmy's Christine had little-to-no character growth and personality but I don't think it reflects her as an actress, but reflects more on the director and casting director because of how young she was (but more on that later)

Not only that, her Christine was SIGNIFICANTLY dumbed down and oversexualized. I mean, the entire point of the story is that Christine grows strong enough to overcome the trauma of an abusive relationship and make sure that her abuser never hurts anyone ever again but still shows the Phantom compassion and sympathy. I mean, her story arc is her becoming strong-willed enough to overcome the Phantom's pull/spell/enchantment/hypnosis or whatever you percieve it as on her! And don't get me started on her costumes because of the SEVERE lack of modesty.

The chemistry was a little flat because she was underage and her two male love interests were both in their 30s (which totally isn't HER fault, of course, but the directors could easily have cast someone else older)

Her voice, too, strikes me as being much too young and undeveloped. She has a very pretty, sweet-sounding quality to her singing but she doesn't sound rich and operatic enough to be a convincing Christine. Rebecca Caine and Amy Manford do the best job of singing the way I think Christine ought to sound- a maturing opera voice! Though POTO is NOT an opera (you wouldn't believe how many people actually think it is...), it does revolve around opera, and Christine is an opera singer, not a pop star.

And now onto... Everyone's favourite vicomte!!!!!!

C'mon people, put your bottles down. It is a truth universally acknowledged (or at least in the wee Raoul Defense Squad Circle) that Raoul is one of the greatest and most underrated boyfriends to ever exist in musical theatre and it's almost impossible to hate him because of how relatable he is.

Ladies, puh-leeze. He's much more relatable than you admit and face it, we all have a little bit of Raoul in us. Failure to see things staring us in the face, saying or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time, having a 'see it to believe it' attitude when we have little-to-no evidence on something... yeah, don't pretend you don't see a trend. Raoul is relatable whether we want him to be or not.

My thoughts on Patrick Wilson as Raoul, he was one of the few redeeming qualities of this not so great movie. Yeah, the swordfight and Tarzan leaps were a little too much but can you blame him?! And though I feel like that foppish wig made him look more like a magic elf prince than a vicomte, he couldn't control that!

His Raoul was so gentle and caring! Yeah, his acting was a bit stiff but at least his voice wasn't a chore to listen to, it has this warm, tender, comforting quality to it which suits Raoul. I really loved the way he sang "Don't throw away your life for my sake" and "I fought so hard to free you" in the Final Lair (😭😭😭) It feels like Raoul is genuinely apologising to Christine.

I know, I know... The Hadley Fraser fans are approaching with menacing expressions as we speak but let me clarify. I still think Hadley is amazing but... His Raoul kinda felt a little too shouty for me and his Raoul was closer to the LND-canon than POTO-canon (not his fault though).

Miranda Richardson (aka. Rita Skeeter) as Madame Giry is kind of weird. I mean, I know Madame Giry's supposed to be a little Strange and Mysterious. But this Mme. wasn't really Strange or Mysterious at all, or even slightly Spooky at all. She was just kind of an oddball. Popping up in random places to give warnings about the Phantom and looking at people as if she were questioning their life choices or something. As for her daughter... well, Jennifer Ellison's Meg was so-so. She's got a sweet-sounding voice and that added scene where she looked for Christine in the lair was a nice touch... But... Her Meg was kinda forgettable and uninteresting. Meg is supposed to prance around shrieking that the Phantom of the Opera is here, not whisper it in a blase manner that you half expect to be followed up with, "by the way, what's for lunch?" Not to mention, she rivaled Christine as far as low-necked costumes went.

Minnie Driver as Carlotta was spot on! Yes, I know she didn't sing the score but her acting was alright. She was very over-the-top and self-centered, which is great for Carlotta, but I felt her portrayal was a little too childish to be accurate. Carlotta is a successful middle-aged diva who's willing to scream and storm when she doesn't get her way, but she isn't a two-year-old pouting and throwing tantrums. (Yes, there's a difference.)

Ciaran Hinds and Simon Callow played Firmin and Andre, respectively. Their managers kinda felt like twits and nothing more. Also, Firmin's masquerade costume was ridiculous. The stupid kind, not the funny kind. ...Well, okay, it was a little funny.

I'm not going to touch on every song here, but I will say that "Hannibal" was beyond awful (if you thought the costumes in the stage version were a bit risque, you should see the movie ones- no, actually you shouldn't) and that "Think of Me," while very nice, was not particularly memorable. Christine's dress, however (despite its less-than-ideal neckline) was GORGEOUS, even though it looks completely out of place in a musical that supposedly takes place in ancient Alexandria.

"Little Lotte" kinda lost its charm by being spoken instead of sung. And Gerard Butler's voice in "The Mirror" was too rough and raspy for my ears and made me cringe in sympathetic shame. The title song was like a cheesy, campy B-grade horror movie tbh, trying way too hard to be spooky and chilling ("ooh, look, Phantom's Lair! It's DARK and SCARY down here!") and succeeding only in being cringeworthy. Not that I've actually ever seen a bad horror movie- or any horror movie at all, for that matter. Unless you count this one.

Christine's costume, too, annoyed me no end. She was basically wearing a corset and drawers under the dressing gown. *facepalm* The dressing gown is supposed to go OVER your COSTUME to keep it CLEAN, peeps. It's not a BATHROBE. And the amount of eye makeup she had on would terrify a raccoon. Yikes.

Though I liked the random horse because of its nod to the Leroux novel.

"Music of the Night" was so blah-slash-touchy-feely that it made me summarily uncomfortable.

I'd like to be able to say something nice about "I remember/Stranger than you dreamt it" but I have none. One thing that bugged me to no end was how Christine is no longer wearing stockings, like dude, that gives some GROSS implications. Anyways, let's skip to Il Muto!

Oh, but first I should say that "Notes" was rather a flop and that "Prima Donna" is unmemorable and indeed should probably be fast-forwarded as there's a rather unsavory bit involving a crew member showing the audience what he thinks of Carlotta's behaviour.

"Il Muto," I must say, was pretty doggone funny. Carlotta's "Your part is silent. Leetle toad," cracked me up into a bunch of giggling little pieces, and the little vignette of the Phantom tinkering with Carlotta's throat spray made her croaking later on a lot more believable.

Now for "All I Ask Of You", SQUEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! I honestly can't understand how anyone could listen to this song and still maintain that Christine and Raoul don't belong together. He represents everything she needs- stability, protection, a guiding hand and affirmed affection. She represents everything he needs, in turn- someone to show affection to and his childhood friend.

One thing I definitely think could have been left out was the scene in which Erik kills Buquet- we totally did not need to see him being chased, terrified, through the rafters and finally strangled. Gross.

And the Phantom and his rose crouching behind that statue... I think this was supposed to be sad, but there was too much snot mixed with tears for it to be sad. It was, again, gross. So was Gerard Butler's pathetic attempt at the "all that the Phantom asked of you" line. And the lack of a chandelier crash in that scene made the song anticlimactic.

And "Masquerade" was so-so but... The Phantom's entrance is anticlimactic somehow, and his Red Death costume (if indeed it's supposed to even BE the Red Death) is unimpressive. I don't like how Raoul just runs off to desert Christine as soon as things start looking ugly (yes, I realize he was going to get his sword, but still... something could have happened to her while he was gone. Duh, did this guy learn anything from "Little Lotte/The Mirror"? Just sayin)

As for Madame Giry's flashback immediately following, I like how it gives us some of the Phantom's backstory, but it seems really abrupt. You don't even realize until she's done that she was talking to Raoul the whole time- it sounds like she's just randomly reminiscing about Stuff, and if you didn't know the story you might be sitting there thinking, "who is this strange woman again?"

Also, Christine leaving wherever-it-is at, like, five in the morning to go to who-knows-where, completely oblivious to the fact that the Phantom is driving her. Whaaaaaaaaa? How'd he know she was planning to go for a graveyard stroll? Was he watching her through the mirror again? THAT'S JUST CREEPY.

"Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" was rather mediocre and dulled down the fact that it is a Christine Empowerment™ song. Why, exactly, does Christine's father have the biggest monument in the cemetery? If he were a rich and famous violinist as his crypt seems to suggest, why on earth was his daughter struggling along as a chorus girl taking free music lessons?

The swordfight... Well... I had mixed feelings about it. Sword fights are all well and good, but... The swordfight takes away the element of mysterious danger to the Phantom. Okay, fine, Christine getting Raoul to spare the Phantom's life is a nice touch, I guess, but did it strike no one else that his "now let it be war upon you BOTH" makes absolutely NO sense after that? If she just saved his life, why would he suddenly be all, "thanks, but no thanks, I'M GOING TO MURDER YOUUUUUUUUUU"?

And "Twisted Every Way" was after "Wishing" which made ZERO sense. Plus, I didn't like how they cut most of it because in the musical, it gave Christine a spine!

"Point of No Return"? Hooooooo boy....... There are so many things wrong with this number. Let's just a list a few.

*HOW did no one recognise the Phantom through his "disguise"?! At least in the stage play, it made more sense because of how he was wearing a cloak that obscured most of his body.

*Christine's sleeves falling down over and over again were REALLY annoying.

*It was just too touchy-feely for my taste.

*The fact that Emmy Rossum was a teenager during filming made this scene gross because of the way they oversexualized Christine in this scene.

*Gerard Butler's voice in that scene made me cringe and shake my head in sympathetic shame.

*In the stage play, Christine ran from him, showing her own agenda and resistance to his pull! While in the movie, she didn't resist him!

*Now for the one that took the cake... The disfigurement! Or it would be a disfigurement if it actually made him look, y'know, deformed. Instead, as several people have put it, he looks like he got a bad sunburn or something. It's really rather pathetic. It makes him look more like a drama queen than he already is! Yeah.... I really don't like this movie.

On to... Final Lair!!!!!!!! It was a flop. From Raoul's whining and flailing around and his stringy hair flopping about (shallow complaint, I know, but it's so ugly) to Christine's sappy melodramatic "don't make me choooooooose" faces to the Phantom's prancing around with his ropes and maniacal laughter that somehow wasn't really scary at all... yeah, it was a flop. A major, major flop. And though The Kiss wasn't all that bad, all I could think of was, "She's SIXTEEN! SIX! TEEN! THIS IS CREEPY, DISTURBING AND GROSS!"

Which is why it's so difficult for me to admit that, um, I... cried at the end.

I COULDN'T HELP IT GUYS HE WAS ALL ALONE THERE IN HIS LAKE WITH HIS MONKEY AND HIS SMASHED MIRRORS AND HE WAS CRYING AND IT WAS SAD.

And then that rose on the gravestone? That single red rose? And the look on Old Raoul's face (still Patrick Wilson, by the way, under all that makeup) when he saw it and realized he wasn't the only one visiting Christine's grave? Yup, I lost it again there, too. And I really didn't want to. Because I tend to cry over movies I love, y'know? And I didn't love this movie. At all

Yet I still cried at the end. I'm not really sure why. I think perhaps it had something to do with the way the story still "got" me, deep down inside, despite the lousy casting and less-than-perfect singing and ridiculously unnecessary elements that totally didn't need to be there. It's still a tragically beautiful romance, and even a bad film can't kill that.

In conclusion, I think Mary Poppins can best express what I thought of POTO 2004.

In conclusion, I rate it a 2.7/5

[ifuckinglovestvincent]

Stereogum:

ACTOR TURNS 10

Ryan Leas May 3, 2019 1:59 pm

When revisiting the major albums of 2009, the year begins to look like an inflection point. A simultaneous culmination of a burgeoning scene while still only a prologue of the unforeseen dominance some of these artists would later achieve. Whether in revisiting the ’09 albums that hold up, crucial moments like the compilation Dark Was The Night, or albums that seemed to be instant classics in their time, you get a portrait of artists rising and establishing their scene, but in hindsight also glimpses of artists who had only just begun. Artists who would transcend those circumstances, go beyond being an indie luminary and become of the definitive names of their time. There are only a couple in that latter category. St. Vincent is one of them.

Ten years ago this Sunday, Annie Clark released her second album under the moniker. Actor was, in many ways, very much of its time and place, the late ‘00s stretch of baroque-pop Brooklyn indie. Clark excelled within that milieu, and the album solidified her as one of the emergent names at the tail end of last decade. And within its DNA, you can already see the blueprints for where St. Vincent would go. It’s a moment that both represents Clark’s talent crystallizing and still feels rooted in another era, prefiguring how far behind she would leave those origins.

Just under two years beforehand, St. Vincent had debuted with Marry Me. When Clark first started making a name for herself, people would mention how she cut her teeth touring with the Polyphonic Spree. They’d talk about her playing in Sufjan Stevens’ band. It is disorienting, foreign, to look back on those times and recall this is how people used to introduce St. Vincent’s backstory.

And in turn, the Annie Clark that appeared in those interviews, discussing the making of Actor, comes across as a totally different version of herself. The press, already growing fervent about this artist, dug into the album’s conception with her, and she often answered straightforwardly enough. Ten years later, she’s on the far side of an arc that begins here, removed and steely and inscrutable, trolling the press, almost directly throwing back all the things that were written about her in those Actor days, when people would go on and on about this “demure brunette guitar genius.”

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Of course, even with the initial embrace of St. Vincent’s work, few could have predicted how her star would ascend and morph — likely herself included. As would be the case with many of these late ‘00s indie artists on the cusp of some kind of mainstream penetration, Actor first came from humbler circumstances. Before teaming with producer John Congleton, Clark worked on it in her New York apartment, recording into a computer, the gentle vocals partially a byproduct of noise complaints from neighbors.

The whole nature of the album was also rooted in being at home, trying to reset after a lengthy spate of touring. Clark began revisiting old movies, favorites from earlier in her life, and writing music along to them as they unfolded on mute. The ones most often-cited in Actor’s rollout were of a particular nature — childhood fairytales with just a bit of eeriness or something sinister lurking underneath. Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs informed the orchestration and tonal shifts of opener “The Strangers,” while “Marrow” resulted from The Wizard Of Oz.

“I felt like I wanted to create something that was Technicolor, was visual as much as musical,” Clark told NPR at the time, speaking specifically about “Marrow.” “And also lyrically — this person wishing they had a spine made of iron — it’s sort of along the thematic lines of The Wizard Of Oz.”

From the unnerving placidity of Actor’s cover to its lush and bright instrumentation, you can still hear what Clark was setting out to achieve. Written to those old movies, Actor is burst after burst of primary colors. But that’s not to say it sounds, or ever sounded, like a happy or precious affair the way some of her peers’ work might have when tackling the same concept. That brightness suggested something sickly, something haunting festering just below the surface.

That, too, was by design. “I wanted to make something that had the whimsy and the sweet of something very pure, like the Disney films, but also something that was kind of bloody and gory and disgusting,” Clark told The New York Times. “I tried to combine those two things, both things that I love in equal parts, and see what happened.”

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This is what made Actor seem special in its moment. By 2009, it wasn’t uncommon for the young generation of indie artists to be experimenting with chamber-pop affectations or with layers of strings and woodwinds. And while a lot of that material seems fussy all these years removed, Clark had somewhat insulated herself from the same criticisms. Actor shares a prettiness, an immaculate and composed veneer, with what was happening at the time. But it had a darkness growing, threatening to overtake it.

It was a juxtaposition Clark had toyed with previously, on Marry Me, where poppy indie confections like “Now Now” and “Jesus Saves, I Spend” were countered with freakouts like “Your Lips Are Red” and “Paris Is Burning.” And there were still songs on Actor — perhaps the ones that don’t loom as large, that feel more 2009 when you hear them today — that don’t represent the tension Clark was baking into the album overall. As memorable as “The Party” is, it feels like refuse from a less-complicated St. Vincent, one that would soon disappear entirely. (Ironically, as a counter-argument, you could see the feint of “New York” being MASSEDUCTION’s lead single working partially because it almost hearkened back to early St. Vincent, a misleading intro to an album that represented her biggest departure yet.)

Perhaps one reason Actor garnered Clark so much positive buzz was in how it improved upon Marry Me in every way — the songwriting sharpened and focused throughout, and that conflict of dark and light woven tighter together, so that you never knew when individual songs might rupture. “Black Rainbow” begins pillowy, then pulls you inexorably into the shadows its name suggests; “The Bed” swings jarringly from lullabies to strings that sound like dying birds falling from the sky. The whole thing begins with “The Strangers,” featuring a lilting melody in which Clark keeps promising to “Paint the black hole blacker” until distorted guitars raze the seeming calm that preceded.

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The album’s success was in its cohesion, the way it kept these themes going to provide some kind of skewed, poisonous interpretation, an early example of Clark taking what surrounded her and bending and twisting it into her own funhouse vision of the world. This tendency set up a fruitful career, and here it also resulted in some songs that still rank amongst her best. “Actor Out Of Work,” the pseudo-title-track, is throbbing, caustic, and infectious — a gliding melody atop frothing distortion. Perhaps the album’s most gorgeous song is called, of all things, “Laughing With A Mouth Full Of Blood.” One of her more underrated compositions, “Just The Same But Brand New” is a striking dreamscape of semi-renewal at the album’s conclusion. “Marrow,” as clear-cut a St. Vincent classic as anything here, made the polarities the most severe, fluttering woodwinds and airy-but-foreboding verses and an off-kilter chorus of fear and guitars warped almost beyond recognition.

There was a specificity to what Clark was doing on Actor, but it also set up what would prove to be a career in contrasts. Back then, it was the tranquility vs. violence, the quiet and peaceful vs. eruptions of rage. This is what defined St. Vincent’s earlier work: She would build pristine architecture, then set fire to it. Later on, it would take different forms: earnestness and blood vs. artifice and manipulated images. In its way, Actor is the conclusion to the first era of St. Vincent, that indie singer-songwriter who used to play with Sufjan, at the same time as it’s the prologue for the journey that would unfold over the next 10 years and three albums. Anything that could loosely be described as twee or whimsical from those early records, anything that could signify Clark’s roots in a particular era of New York indie music, would soon be burned away entirely.

In that same 2009 New York Times interview, Clark explains the meaning behind the title Actor. “It’s about just the general sense of feeling like a fraud, because I think anyone who is creative or self-aware in any way, there’s like a humility to it, or I should say a humiliation to it,” she explained. “But there’s also a self-delusion … The self-delusion is the thing that makes you go, ‘Oh you know what, all the music I’ve ever loved in the world, I want to be a part of that — hey, listen to what I have to say, it’s really important, it’s going to matter.’”

On some level, Clark was talking about the very endeavor and anxiety of creation; that fraudulence, the fake it until you make it, proving to people you deserve to be there. But on some other level, you know her ideas were good. That they were better than a lot of other people’s. In that sense, her follow-up quote is more prescient: “You can’t apologize your way into people’s hearts. You have to go full force.” Soon after Actor, that fear of self-delusion, that trepidation, seemed to evaporate from the work of St. Vincent. The name and concept behind her sophomore album became less an existential musing and more of a key into her following chapters.

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This idea of St. Vincent we saw on Marry Me and Actor is almost quaint, primitive despite its intricacy, in comparison to what came next: the pharmaceutical fog and synthetics of 2011’s Strange Mercy, leaning directly into a retro-futuristic space age queen aesthetic in the coronation of 2014’s self-titled, the dense entanglement of heartache and lust and vivid Pop Art on 2017’s MASSEDUCTION. As the years went on, Clark continued to modulate her identity and push her instrument into its outer limits. She had gone as far as she could within the original context of her career and sound, and instead took a thesis, not sonic cues, from Actor forward. There, it was the gore and whimsy against one another. Afterward, it was constant transformation, the entire project of St. Vincent becoming an exercise in different tensions musically and thematically, the entire persona of St. Vincent becoming a war in which what was performance and what was reality could often be questioned.

Consider the Annie Clark we now know. The one who had a high-profile relationship with Cara Delevingne. The one who worked with David Byrne, and the one who worked with Jack Antonoff. The one who has perfected a distance from the usual machinery of indie star interviews, trying to provoke reactions out of those who speak with her or producing videos mocking the whole enterprise. The one who performs with Dua Lipa at the Grammys. When was the last time you thought about the Polyphonic Spree at all, let alone could imagine it being listed as some kind of pivotal resume builder in Annie Clark’s career? That was still the case when Actor came out 10 years ago. Now, she’s eclipsed almost everything about where she came from. She has become an art-rock star capable of sliding between worlds, dancing towards pop to then turn and produce a Sleater-Kinney album.

Without the rest of the story, Actor might feel like more of a relic of last decade; you could imagine an alternate history in which Annie Clark continued on in a similar vein and was a respected if not visionary force. But after crafting the perfect realization of one version of herself on her sophomore album, she imploded it on her third. The forces fighting within Actor, those hints of stranger shapes and pathways, would drive her career forward. After the first implosion, there was another, and then another — each time, destruction of the old St. Vincent yielding some vibrant new creation. Actor lives on as an innovative indie album from an era littered with them, a lingering document of who St. Vincent was and a harbinger of who she would be. She had already changed here, and would do it again and again. This was just the beginning of Annie Clark proving herself the David Bowie for a new era of rock music, able to shed skin after skin, sliding into new ones repeatedly and with ease. It was the beginning of her remaking herself constantly — just like an actor.

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[faveanimeships]

hey can i request a matchup with haikyuu? i'm 5'6, black hair and i have a soft korean/japanese look ( im chinese) i dont know whats my mbti but im from slytherin & my star signs are: gemini sun gemini moon aries rising! my friends describe me as a fuckin chatterbox and i seem to hate everyone ( which i dont), good conversationalist, up for anything ( wink wink ) , falls in love too easily, good at math and always ready for fun! hate talking abt my feelings bc it makes me vulnerable! thanks!!!!!

HELLO BUBS YES YOU MAY !!! YOU’RE SO ADORBS TUT ITS OKAY IF YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE !! I LOVE FRIENDS WHO TALK A LOT UWU AND WTF HOW ARE YOU GOOD IN MATH LEGEND

I ship you with Nobuyuki Kai!!!

(oof our major underrated character???)

You are energetic, lively, bold, ambitious, a stand out individual, but at the same time, you probably like to appreciate small things and also have the desire to discover the world and gain a deeper understanding about people. You mentioned that you fall in love too easily and frankly I think it’s just because you love to appreciate different things in life, and you have come to accept and love different people with distinctively different but interesting quality. When you’re looking for a partner, you would probably look for someone who has this ‘connection’ with you, someone who would understand your feelings without you confronting them with your feelings directly. You would also want a partner who is a great listener, but it doesn’t stop there. Some people are content with just an acknowledging hum during conversational intervals, but you would probably prefer someone who would provide some sort of a meaningful reply when you converse?

THEREFORE, I ship you with Kai!!! Kai appears to be a relaxed, laid back person but obviously from Nekoma (known for their ability to connect), he would have exceptional observation skills, which would be handy when he tries to depict your emotions, so he can act accordingly, like when you’re sad, he would come along and just randomly give you a hug, or when you’re angry he would need to think if you needed space or company, that sort of thing. Kai doesn’t talk much, in which I think perfectly contrasts your chatterbox and lively personality. It is canon that Kai is a great listener, having to put up with different arguments every day and being the middle man of some random squabble. Overall, Kai provides a very calm and stable presence and would be a very very very reliable partner. (A/N: he literally looks fearless >_>?? The boy’s life quote is basically “as long as you’re alive, things will work themselves out one way or another???) yeesh

In terms of conversations, Kai would probably opt to say something meaningful rather than just hum in acknowledgement, which is in this case, amazing so you can keep the conversation flowing. Not only that, Kai would be able to keep up with you when you’re in the mood for random stuff like (>////

Anyhows Kai would probably appreciate you as his partner, obviously he understands how easily you fall in love with something and would probably be a little jealous if it goes too far, but he trusts you and is willing to support you in everything you do!!!

I MEAN don’t worry heS HAD MORE THAN REQUIRED EXPERIENCE TO BE WITH YOU!!!! LIKE LOL NEKOMA IS LIKE CHAOTIC AS????? So plz don’t worry

Things he likes:

1.     Cuddling + you talking

2.     Holding hands

3.     When you’re worried about him (since he’s always so ??? neat and coordinated)

4.     Movie nights

5.     Study dates

6.     Walks

7.     Shopping together

8.     Cooking together

9.     Fruit picking

10.  Spending time with you

I will also ship you with (under the cut!!)

Akinori Konoha

Konoha is funny, jack of all trades, and knows how to handle people well (I mean if he has Bokuto on his team??????) Konoha would be bashful if you tried to initiate any physical contact at all, but he’ll try to maintain that idiot smug face of his. Of course, Konoha shows how he cares through his actions, like how he might be slightly annoyed that you talk so much but then again, he really to listen to you talk. He might disagree with you sometimes and you’d end up bickering, but he’d be sure not to take the bickering too far- he doesn’t want to fight, he just wants to bicker??? He’s also amazing at supporting you throughout your life, be it a trivial or a big problem, he’s always down to give you encouragement or advice, whichever you need most. It’s canon that he’s a jack of trades kind of person, an all-rounder and would help you academically and physically if he needs to. He probably loves spending time with you, but he’ll get you to tell him that you like spending time with him instead and deny all allegations about him liking to spend time with you, which is annoying?? But it will probably be a thing between the both of you.

Big tease, he loves to tease you and poke fun at you, but nothing too serious. He’s also a very observant person, having to put up with Bokuto’s mood swings and read the opponent at the same time, he knows what to say and do to calm you down. Depending on your mood, he’ll do different things that will obviously help you feel better, or if you’re happy he’ll probably say something like “whats with the slap happy face??? Its creeping me out” u: stfu Overall a very fun and loud relationship but at the same time, mutual understanding and respect is present, a very supportive relationship!!!

Keiji Akaashi

Akaashi is calm, composed, collected and most of the time, emotionless. He’s also blunt and only provides commentary in a conversation when he has something meaningful to say. He’s also very observant, logical and a very quick thinker overall but he can be cheeky and playful sometimes. Obviously Akaashi is used to constant chattering (Bokuto will NEVER STOP TALKING) but he doesn’t mind it, he actually likes it. He loves to listen to you talk and he will only offer witty/ meaningful responses when he feels like it. As mentioned, you look like you hate everyone and this is what Akaashi can relate to, and both of you can just talk about your struggles together, which is super cute omg!!! Of course, Akaashi offers amazing advice and would probably be blunt if you were the one who made the mistake, and sometimes it hurts because you just need support??? However, in Akaashi’s case he wants the best to you and sometimes if it’s something you don’t want to listen to, he’ll still say it. It would probably come across as criticism but he’s just looking out for you. Although he looks tired most of the time, but I feel he has enough stamina to keep up with you (>////

Obviously, Akaashi is used to reading people and he knows how to deal with different situations quickly, in which if you’re having either a bad/good/meh day, he can think of several different things he could make you feel much more at ease/ better. He’s a big fan of holding hands, he lover intertwining hands and rubbing his thumb over yours gently. He’ll also love it if you spoilt him from time to time.

I also ship you with !!! Reon Ohira

-       Calm couple

-       He has a soothing presence + super reliable

-       AMAZING HUGS

-       AMAZING LISTENER, QUIET, BUT AMAZING ENCOURAGEMENT

-       CONFIDENCE !!!!!

-       Very supportive boyfriend

-       Cute shopping dates at Ikea, walking around, planning for your house in the future

-       Deep conversations

YEET YEET HOPE U LIKE IT

[maryellencarter]

memed from @camshaft22 , originally an askbox meme but it's short enough that i can just have opinions at all of it rather than waiting to have the free time to get out of the house and answer asks. (i still have at least a few askmeme questions sitting in my inbox from like a month or two ago... :P)

1. do you find force users or non-force users more interesting? -- non-force users by a mile. there could theoretically be exceptions, like if anybody really got deeply into alternate perceptions / interpretations of the force rather than just kind of toeing the jedi party line as established in the movies, but i haven't seen any that really grab me.

2. which character do you want to be most like? -- oh, now there's a hell of a question. both this and the next one, really. see, let's start at the beginning: when i was a very smol tortoise watching a star war, and by smol i mean like eighteen because that's when i first saw a star war... when i was a smol, i wanted to be han solo (not least because he was hot in a very conventionally masculine way, do not underestimate the importance of that to a smol afab tortoise programmed with much body-loathing ;P), but i identified a lot more with chewbacca. i mean, let's be honest, i was not in great psychological shape as a tiny, and this particular oddment is something i'm still very much sorting out, but: from tiny!jt's perspective, at least, han+chewie is a nonromantic primary relationship that gets displaced by the han/leia primary romantic relationship. but it's still (from anything you see onscreen in the ot) primary *to chewie* even after it becomes secondary to han. that kind of nonreciprocal primary relationship, tagging around after someone who would let me express that kind of devotion and not find it creepy even after they inevitably found a "real", romantic relationship that would be more important to them than me, was the best endgame i could imagine for myself, and frankly i felt like it was way too much to hope for within my own species. i may have spent rather a while wishing i was a dog or something, so that it would be acceptable and appropriate for me to want the most important relationship in my life to be nonromantic. tiny!jt was a *mess*. this was way before i got into fandom, so i didn't really work through it at all or write it down anywhere, either.

uh. that got long. continued under the next question.

3. which character are you actually most like? -- so anyway. yeah. to continue. then i found my way into legends (then still the eu but yanno) and the x-wing books. and then there was wes. ^_^ it would be several more years before i even figured out i *had* ptsd, but here was somebody who had ptsd that presented almost exactly like mine but was also stable and functional and not-depressed and in fact actually cheerful. not to mention he was *also* hot and male and most importantly human, but still showed the kind of undemanding loyalty i was aiming towards, and had it accepted.

(which last is partly because wedge is an oblivious noodle, but still. ^_^ honestly that's probably something to analyze when i'm not one-finger typing on my phone: how much of that kind of relationship being a goal for me is just me being wired kind of subby, and how much is the abuse thing where asking for any kind of emotional reciprocation is Wrong and Too Much. :P)

uh. i had a point here somewhere. um. so i wanted to grow up to be wes, but i didn't think that was an attainable goal. i felt sort of more like wedge with the duty and guilt and everything, but wedge is also way more of a leader than i am, so that's a thing. honestly there was a point there where i felt most like cheriss, just kind of... trying to grow up and dealing with a whole bunch of life shit and intermittently wanting to die a lot. ;P

and now apparently i *am* growing up to be wes and i'm still not sure what to do with that, besides writing a lot of fanfic (which is what i am doing). and trying to figure out the whole subby brain thing. and the executive dysfunction thing. and the not wanting leadership positions thing. and still working on the ptsd thing. and the self-esteem thing. there's a lot.

i'm less wedge, though. which is good. less catholic guilt is always nice.

4. what headcanon will you defend to the death? -- er. i'm not really sure i have any of those. as opposed to just canon things i will make sure people remember and acknowledge. maybe the hoth cuddle pile? you will never convince me the rogues on hoth did not sleep in a giant cuddle pile.

5. what planet would you most like to visit? -- i frankly don't know enough about star wars planets to give a shit.

6. what planet would you most like to live on? -- ditto. not taanab, for sure. mini rancors (and possibly 46-hour days if you don't just disdain that as illogical made-up numbers they threw into the planet guide for variety's sake... ;P I have opinions)

7. who do you hope you never meet? -- of the characters? pretty much any of the bad guys, but my first thought is vader.

8. what is one thing you would change about any movie, show, book, etc? -- ahahahahaaaaaaa. just one? i can't pick. can i say fix all the things about tlj that made me go "okay never watching that"? because there were at least four or five just among the spoilers that i heard. like if it had to be just one i'd make it so poe doesn't disregard chain of command, because that's the one that's making it so i can't rewatch tfa *either*, but from everything i hear, that movie was a hot mess. (alternatively, can i just change the fandom so that people stop saying "if you don't love tlj unquestioningly you're a reddit douchebro!"? because i don't want to unfollow roguepod on twitter but unless i block literally everyone *they* follow there's no way for me to keep that particular Hot Take off my dash and it's consistently re-infuriating me. :P)

uh. i have feelings, apparently. ;P

9. have you ever made fanart or fanfic? do you make edits or any other fan content? -- so much fanfic. so much. i counted last night and just the fics i haven't published yet add up to somewhere around 80k words.

10. do you think the jedi were right or wrong? -- i think the jedi were self-important douchenozzles with a habit of being wrong whenever the plot demanded it. is this a reference to something specific they were right or wrong about? i don't think they have the one true view of the force, and i think they're obnoxious about thinking they do, much like many other religions, so there's that.

11. who is the most underrated character? -- new canon, finn. or rose, possibly, not that i've seen her, because see above re hot mess. old canon, hobbie.

12. do you care who rey’s parents are? -- honestly, i'm at the point in dealing with an open canon where i cannot give fuck about any of the unanswered questions, the upcoming releases, or anything that might happen in the future at all. i haven't even read thrawn alliances. i am Over It, and that is about 99% the fault of the people who keep calling me a reddit douchebro by association. i probably won't see epIX unless kat or sophia tells me i absolutely have to. i'm a legends-only fan at this point. i didn't want to be, i like getting excited about new things, but every time i try it, people are douchewaffles and it's depressing. :P

13. if you could resurrect one dead character, or prevent them from dying, who would it be? -- new canon, hobbie. old canon, there are so damn many options, but probably mara or pellaeon.

14. what is your favorite alien species? -- i'm not sure i actually have an opinion. i have lots of favorite alien characters but like... idek. star wars has a bunch of really well designed alien species and they're all cool.

15. who would you like to bang? -- honestly i don't really care about banging any of the characters. shipping them is more fun. although i would let princess general leia step on me, whether in a sexy way or not.

16. which movie/episode have you watched the most? -- probably anh. the falcon's flying sfx aren't as good as in esb, but if you watch esb without rotj it's just a downer, and i don't really enjoy rotj. like it just doesn't click with me.

17. what is your favorite line? -- uh. from the movies, or from all the star war? uh. either way that's a hell of a question. the one i quote the most from the movies is definitely "we're all fine here, how are you?", but that's more just... versatile. from the books, my favorite is obviously one of allston's, but i'm not sure i could *pick*.

18. what is your favorite star wars book or comic? -- starfighters of adumar. because it is the best one. objectively. ^_^

19. what’s your opinion on legends/expanded universe? -- i'm extremely glad it isn't canon anymore (see also my issues with open canons, but also a significant amount of it was just trash) and extremely glad it's still around.

20. what do you hope will happen in future movies? -- i have no hope. hope is dead. i am, as previously mentioned, Over It. (let oscar isaac kiss john boyega onscreen)

21. if you could switch any character’s gender, who would it be and why? -- in canon? no. there's no point in turning a lady character into a dude, and neither the creators nor the fans are capable of handling anyone who's currently a dude being written as a lady or nb type, even if it was retroactive and they'd always been written that way. just no. it would go Badly. :P

that said. in fanfic? and i am so not capable of writing this yet but i want to. in like five years when we're all living in caves scratching our fanfics on bone. i want to see a cis afab wes janson who just hasn't internalized any of those lessons about not taking up space. who's still brash and loud and enthusiastic and flirtatious and just... female. who doesn't feel any need to explain that she doesn't (or does) want kids, or acknowledge anybody else's opinion about how she dresses or who she fucks. who's smart and badass and competent and out to have fun. and like... *pulls hair* i mean you know the trope. a sexy lady character who knows she's sexy will pretty much always at least consider sleeping her way to the top or whatever. (tim zahn, seriously, stop using that trope. it's not edgy.) i want to see lady!wes dressing up all fancy because it's fun and she enjoys having people admire her body, and like just... not even considering ever having sex for any other reason than "i am attracted to that person, i wonder if they'd like to bang". like it's hard to demonstrate a negative but you know if you read a story like that, where it wasn't called out but just there, your brain would go all fidgety and "what the fuck something is not normal here". or at least mine would. but you know? :S apparently i have a lot of feelings about this too. like trying to portray a lady who's that confident and... and undamaged by misogyny, would be a hell of a thing.

22. favorite droid? -- bb-8. the cutest smol. target has a kit to turn a pumpkin into a bb-8 and i swear i'm thinking about getting a funkin to do that to. even though i already have a bb-8 penny bank and a bb-8 lanyard in storage.

23. what’s your favorite star wars musical piece or theme? -- i'm not great at identifying pieces of music so i'm just gonna go with the opening crawl music.

24. how do you pronounce twi’lek? -- i don't. ^_^ more specifically, i do kind of pronounce it in my head when i read, but it's sort of... neither twee-lek nor twye-lek, but something sort of in between that isn't quite a schwa and might involve an umlaut. Sort of Twülek, if you said it with an Austrian accent. That probably doesn't help at all. XD

25. which character do you have a love/hate relationship with? -- This keeps being a question. I'm honestly not sure I *do* love-hate relationships. I'm like Tinkerbell, I only have room for one emotion at a time. ^_^ Especially with fictional characters, I either love them or hate them. (Unless they're completely meh and I just forget about them, that happens sometimes.)

[aion-rsa]

The Green Knight Review: A King Arthur Movie Imbued with Dark Magic

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It’s been observed that to create, you must first destroy. There’s truth in this axiom, although at least in the case of Hollywood it’s worth a partial amendment. First, you must understand what it is you are destroying to make way for something new. Take the poems and tales of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, including Sir Gawain and the Green Knight: As centuries old IP, these stories have been adapted countless times, including recently—and often by filmmakers with no greater concern for their appeal than the public domain title they’ve decided to exploit.

Well, the team writer-director David Lowery assembled for his and A24’s The Green Knight understand Sir Gawain intimately. It’s there in the first scene when the alliterative prose from the 14th century poem is quoted near verbatim. And yet, by juxtaposing these words next to Dev Patel’s yet-to-be-knighted Gawain sitting on the throne of Camelot, stoic in all his kingly majesty, Lowery and company signal they’re doing more than just repeating an oft-told yarn. There is a darker force at work here, which can be as unsettling as the image of Gawain’s crowned head inexplicably being lit aflame at the end of this sequence.

The Green Knight is thus both a student of the past and a well-meaning raider of it; this is a film which will honor a story J.R.R. Tolkien singled out as one of the greatest works of English literature, as well as gracefully deconstruct it. There’s a singular, faintly mad vision at play in Lowery’s The Green Knight, and it’s led to one of the best films ever adapted from Arthurian lore.

When we meet Patel’s Gawain in earnest in the movie, he is clearly not yet a knight or a man of honor. After all, it’s Christmas morning when he’s awakened from his stupor in a brothel. As the nephew of old King Arthur (Sean Harris), Gawain is imbued by Patel with an earnest desire to live up to the laurels already bestowed on the Knights of the Round Table, but there’s also something unmistakably desperate and hungry about him when he arrives at his uncle’s court for a feast.

It is there that Arthur invites Gawain to sit by his throne on the high dais, next to Queen Guinevere (Kate Dickie), for the first time. Several chairs are conspicuously empty, including one intended for Gawain’s mother (Sarita Choudhury), but Gawain can sense his station is on the rise, even before the Green Knight (Ralph Ineson) enters. Carved from the literal leafy greens and weeds of the earth, Ineson’s knight better resembles a pagan god than any sort of man-at-arms. Yet it’s arms that concern this Yuletide intruder.

The Green Knight comes offering a game: Any man who has the courage to strike at him with a sword as harsh or kindly as he pleases can do so freely… so long as he agrees to endure the same blow in one year’s time. Gawain leaps at the opportunity to prove his valor, beheading the Green Knight in one smooth motion. The Emerald deity then picks up his rolling skull. It then laughs. A bargain’s been struck and they’ll meet again at the Green Chapel next Christmas.

The setup is painfully simple, including its roots in medieval notions of chivalry and the type of magical realism where talking severed heads are as common as ladies living in lakes. Yet the draw of Lowery’s film is how it encases viewers into this world with surreal splendor. There has not been another movie this year as sumptuously designed or elegantly framed. Nearly every shot of The Green Knight—particularly in the climactic Green Chapel—looks as if it was ripped from a fantasy novel’s cover or a 19th century canvas, and the inclusion of elements like ghosts, giants, and talking foxes (all of which Gawain will encounter on his quest to find that blasted chapel) only heightens the peculiar beauty of the piece.

Lowery is also allowed to lean into the painterly lushness of the piece because of the vitality and humanity Patel brings to every single scene he’s on screen: which is nearly all of them. Despite starring in a Best Picture winner more than a decade ago, Patel is an actor who’s seemed strangely underrated by the industry. As of late, the natural leading man has broken out with winning roles as David Copperfield and in Lion, but as Gawain he may have at last found a vehicle to display the full range of his charisma to a larger audience.

Patel’s Gawain is neither a hero nor a revisionist fiend. Rather he’s a well realized portrait of paradoxes. Here’s a young man who wishes to be noble and true, but is driven on his seemingly suicidal quest to find the Green Knight’s chapel entirely out of fear of shame and what others might say; he fears death to the point of seeming cowardly, and yet is eager to face the Green Knight’s axe, if only to learn what this game might really be about. Gawain is a flawed, potentially doomed protagonist, but Patel keeps the pathos of the would-be knight always at the surface, even during the character’s most scandalous and selfish moments.

The rest of the cast is also formidable in helping The Green Knight weave its enchantment. Despite being covered under makeup and prosthetics, The Witch’s Ineson brings a playfulness to the title character somewhat akin to a Disney character with a bloodlust; and Alicia Vikander pulls double duty in dual roles that it would be a spoiler to detail beyond that they represent twin sides of femininity for Gawain—and the inherent limitations of living your life by chivalric codes or medieval thinking. However, in one of these roles Vikander gets the best monologue in the film where she raises more questions than answers about what this quest is all about… including why is a green knight green?

That may be what challenges audiences most. Despite being based on a well-worn folk tale, The Green Knight is not an easy movie to follow once Gawain accepts his fate and leaves Camelot behind for a wilderness drenched in magic and weirdness. Shrouded in mysteries, both medieval and modern, it is designed to confound and intrigue, and probably be viewed more than once. It is a bit like discovering an ancient tome of witchcraft that’s not intended for young eyes. You’re not entirely sure what its incantations mean, but you cannot look away. For some that will be infuriating, but I found it spellbinding.

The Green Knight opens Friday, July 30.

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[cinemamablog]

2019 Favorites (So Far)

It’s time to reflect on the new movies that brought me happiness so far in 2019. Keep in mind, I’ve missed almost all limited releases this year and quite a few wide release titles. But of the films I’ve managed to see from this year’s roster, these 11 top the list:

1. Us

The horror event of the year, Jordan Peele’s second film takes us to a more abstract place than Get Out, where things aren’t so clearly cut into Good and Evil. Explanations only hurt the movie, at its best when ambiguities creep up and linger. Peele’s potential excites me: the worlds he creates take residence in reality, while always dipping into the fantastical. Also, I can’t begin to imagine the resulting kindertrauma had I heard Lupita Nyongo’s “tethered” voice as a child.

2. The Beach Bum

I’ve written about this movie before here, but let me stress the point: The Beach Bum is an underrated, gleeful, Floridian bop. Who knew a dolphin-watching tour could hold the potential for so much laughter and danger? Matthew McConaughey’s Oscar era needed to happen so wild and crazy movies like Harmony Korine’s could get greenlit.

3. Happy Death Day 2U

My mom watched pieces of the first Happy Death Day movie with the TV on mute and thought “it looked so stupid” and I was like “MOM. No. It’s DEEP, the sequel made me CRY.” And boy, did it. Happy Death Day 2U continues the humorous, fast-paced tone of the first film, but also places our heroine Tree not just in the prerequisite, life-threatening time warp, but also in the middle of a heart-wrenching conundrum. If you watch this movie while pregnant or grieving or both, it might make you cry a little or a lot. (Guess which two out of the four groups I was in this summer.)

4. Lords of Chaos

I made the mistake of googling reviews of this movie as soon as it ended. Apparently, actual Norwegian black metal fans HATE this movie. Regardless, I think it’s great, electric storytelling with one of the most realistic suicide scenes I’ve ever seen. I watched Lords of Chaos on Hulu and, as a non-metal fan, I enjoyed the life-and-death drama and toxic machismo of gothic boys who grow up into warped men. I appreciated how Kieran Culkin’s character personifies the insecurity of a boy playing gatekeeper while he himself only vaguely comprehends the darker elements of life and masks his innocent fascination with them by putting on a tough guy act. He also hides his insecurities by latching on to those grittier, sadder, more fucked up than him, as if their authenticity will rub off on him.

5. The Last Black Man in San Francisco

I heard the hype for this movie straight out of Sundance, but I still feel like this movie got sorely under-seen. One of the few movies the baby napped through while on maternity leave, the tenderness and love that went into the making of The Last Black Man in San Francisco flows off the screen. It felt like sitting with a friend on the porch, reminiscing about the neighborhoods that surrounded you and shaped your childhood. “Things aren’t the way they used to be,” you muse. “But were things ever the way they used to be?” the movie asks back. Much of our identity relies on the stories we tell ourselves, the ones our families tell around the dinner table, the ones we share at reunions with friends long lost to life’s changes. This movie tells the story Jimmie Fails chooses to share with you. Cherish it as if it were your own. Because once a story is shared, it becomes a part of yours, too.

6. Good Boys

I went out with my husband to see this movie, screening in the pricey theatre at the Promenade. (You know, the one with the fancy seats and the huge screen and special sound system.) I had had a hard time with the baby that day, still only days along as a parent to a newborn. And god, I needed a laugh. I put my trust in Seth Rogen’s role as producer and in return, Good Boys gave me a million laughs. I worried the movie would rely on the boring repetition of jokes along the lines of: “haha, young boys saying bad words and making sex jokes,” but that did not prove to be the case. With the combination of a pitch perfect script and effortlessly guileless performances, the laughs came easy.

7. The Lighthouse

I’ve already written about The Lighthouse here and honestly, I don’t have much more to say except that Robert Pattinson should’ve earned an Oscar nomination for Good Time and Willem Dafoe deserved the win for The Florida Project. Robbed, I tell you! Robbed!

8. Booksmart

I couldn’t be prouder of Olivia Wilde’s directorial debut. The script, written by four women (Emily Halpern, Sarah Haskins, Susanna Fogel, and Katie Silberman), treats every high schooler with respect: bully and nerd, rich and poor, booksmart and streetsmart. Most movies about teenagers claim to disparage cliques and social group segregation, but they also tend to romanticize the concept of an “In” crowd. Booksmart is one of very few that presents high school the way it actually goes down: a “popular” kid is just as smart and vulnerable as the valedictorian (sometimes they’re one and the same) and the theatre kids can be just as annoying as the rich kids with too much money to burn. While the characters share more in common than they’d like to believe, Booksmart captures the universal hopefulness and ambition of high school’s final hours.

9. Where’d You Go, Bernadette?

One overly earnest child actress nearly wrecked this movie for me, but the story stuck with me through my maternity leave and into my return to the workplace. In Richard Linklater’s latest character study (based on a novel by Maria Semple), Cate Blanchett plays Bernadette, a world famous retired architect who holes herself up in the ultimate fixer upper, earning the ire of her neighbors and the worries of her husband. Where’d You Go, Bernadette? reminds me of the quote: “An artist who stops making art is committing emotional suicide.” Once Bernadette reaches a breaking point, made painfully clear to her by her husband, his secretary, and an FBI agent, her journey helps bring Bernadette back to her architectural roots. Creating functional, artful structures is Bernadette’s greatest joy, besides the miracle of motherhood. (This mama relates.)

10. IT Chapter Two

Besides the episodic pacing that slowed the movie down, I sat through IT Chapter Two in a state of constant dread. I lived through an easy childhood, but I could still empathize with the terror of the Losers Club as they return to the site of their forgotten childhood traumas. One of them never forgot the painful memories to begin with and one can’t handle it when the past comes rushing back to him. I do wish the script didn’t spend so much time on boring old Bill. And furthermore, Amy Adams was meant to play Beverly, I don’t care what anyone says. But despite my complaints, the way Pennywise manipulates both the adults’ childhood insecurities and the fears of children kept me in an emotional state that only comes from tapping into a deep fear. Or watching several people confronted with their own.

11. Greener Grass

Another entry that I’ve written about here, Greener Grass earns its spot on my list of favorites by having some of the most original art direction, the most imaginative screenplay, and syncing up perfectly with my ideal aesthetic. (Pretty pastels, quivering smiles, and danger beneath the surface.)

That’s all folks! What movies gave you joy in 2019?