#severe case of pretty face syndrome

[eccentricallygothic]

Since I don't see much of it,may I request a dark robber Bucky AU? That turned soft dark? It can be a home robbery. Or a bank robbery. Whichever's easier for you. But I feel like a bank robbery would be way more thrilling. Maybe he held her as a hostage and had his way with her. But then decided he wants to keep her for himself after all and add kidnapping to the list <3 Ski mask and all. Like the one Seb wears for his role in that Destroyer movie with Nicole Kidman. Except I want to request the long haired Civil War Bucky looking Bucky in this one. Just imagine how hot it is when he takes off his ski mask & reveals himself to her in all his glory with his long hair falling to the sides of his face and framing it perfectly. And reader is just stunned,because he's too beautiful. Again,if you want to do a home robbery instead,it's fine too. He went to rob a house but wasn't expecting the pretty little thing hiding under the blanket/in the closet. Decided to have some fun on his "quest" and had his way with her but had a change of mind and decided to correct his way, "moves in" with reader in her home and get a proper job now so he can finally marry her in the near future and propose to her with a diamond ring,one that doesn't belong to reader's mother/grandmother/aunt lol. And finally have that break,that normal life he's been craving for so long now and a beautiful wife by his side to spend his whole life with. Sorry if this request sucks,just haven't seen much robber AUs of Bucky so I thought why not? Okay,that's all I got. Whether you want to take it up or not,thank you so much <3 I'll keep enjoying your other works :D

so… um… idk if you know me or not but i am kinda known on here for being a mad slut… i hope you like it and please don't hate me if you don't i know i am greedy af. ill redo it with one of the scenarios if you don't like it <333 

| Small World |

Pairing: Dark-Soft-Dark Robber!Bucky Barnes | Naïve!You.

Warning(s): Non-con/Dub-con, Dark!Bucky, bank robbery, violence, knife play, gun play, fear kink, unprotected p-in-v sex, missionary, doggy style, corruption kink, sir kink, power imbalance, Daddy kink, stockholm syndrome, he's lowkey mean, size kink, naive!Reader, virginity loss, fingering, spanking, dacryphilia. Minors do not interact. 

MASTERLIST

Panicked and horrified eyes turn to stare at you when you are pointed out of your group of hostages to stand up from your position on the ground. Some of your colleagues look at you with pity, others with hope and plea in their teary eyes.

Please, do it for us.

The greater good, and all.

Before you can decide whether you are the sacrificial lamb type or not, the masked man who has called out for you wraps one of his gloved hands around your arm and tugs you away from your group. Your meek and wheezed out requests fall on deaf ears as you are marched down the main hall.

“P- Please!” You turn your head to look back at his covered face with tear stained cheeks, head slightly shaking as your hands tremble beside it from their position in the air.

“I won’t repeat myself” the soft volume of the man’s voice can easily be easily mistaken for mercy if not for the menace in his tone. And the fact that he has the biggest stature out of his entire group –practically a giant- does not help your case. “Get the fuck inside or I’ll make you” he nods towards the door of the manager’s office, gun trained at you threateningly. “Move it.”

Within the next few moments, the man has you pressed up between him and the heavy wooden desk while he towers over you, toying with the loose strands of your hair with a little pocket knife that he has brandished out of his leather jacket.

“Please…” You helplessly plead in vain, thighs quivering from the way he rests his gun between your legs. Your shaking thighs tightly hug the barrel as the tip presses into the table.

“Aw, honey” he is relaxed and unfazed, almost as though he is unaware of the severity of the situation. Or perhaps this is more natural to him than you can ever know. A chill rises in your back as realization hits you. He cannot care less. “Why are you crying?” The man gathers a drop of your panic on the tip of his blade before bringing it to his mouth and taking a lick before humming at the taste. “I just wanna be friends… don’t you wanna be friends?” Your bottom lip wobbles as you shake your head stupidly. 

“P- Please lemme go join the rest…” He sighs at your sob, disappointed. 

“Out there with all those average Joes?” His teal eyes watch you from behind the mask as he traces the shape of your clothed boobs with the knife. “Oh, come on, pretty girl” terror fills you when you feel his hard-on rubbing against one of your knees. “You’re too special to be out there with those lowlifes, baby” your body freezes when the knife trails its way up your chest to rest on your bottom lip.

“P- Please…” A whisper shudders its way out of your still lips while your widened eyes watch the blade trail along the opening of your mouth. “D- Don’t hurt me, s- sir…”

“I won’t have to if you behave…” The tip of the weapon clinks against your teeth as the crown of his gun caresses your intimate part at the same time; having found its way into your pencil skirt. “So say, doll. Will you behave for me?” You would be a fool if you think that you have any other choice than to nod. “Use your words now, come on” his muffled coo is so soft it nearly triggers something inside you. 

But before you can ponder over it, his hand thumps against your cheek to bring you back to the present moment and you find yourself instantly nodding again. "Y- Yes, sir. I- I'll behave for you…" Something scratches at you from deep inside, but the sickening stimulation that you're being subjected to keeps you bound in the present moment.

"Good girl" you let out a relieved exhale when he pulls the blade from your lips and now brings it to the buttons of your blouse. "Tell me, honey. Do you have a boyfriend?" Your cheeks flush despite the situation and you gulp, lowering your eyes to watch him bounce the stitch holding your button together against the sharp metal. "Or… maybe a little girlfriend?" You can't help but loudly gasp when the thread finally comes undone and your swells bounce into his view. 

"P- Please, sir…" The man tuts and shakes his head. 

"Remember, baby. I'll only be nice to you if you are nice to me…" As if to put emphasis on his words, he straightens the knife and softly pokes one of your boobs by sliding the tip inside. You can't see it but your hurried apology makes him smirk under the mask. "Now, then. Where were we…?" 

"N- No, sir…" You softly sob, unable to control your tears. "I d- don't have a boyfriend…" 

"Good girl" he speaks as if he knows you and like you owe it to him, his gun-holding hand disappearing inside his jacket to put the weapon away. Though the relief that washes over you at the sight is short-lived because said hand then comes to grip and caress one of your thighs… under your skirt. "You're too good for silly little boys" your mouth falls agape when he suddenly catches two more of your buttons in a single strike, making your boobs jerk downwards due to the sudden change in pressure. 

"Please–!" 

"Shhhh" his rough hands yank you closer and against him by the help of your ass, your clothed core colliding with his bulge as he now presses the wider part of the knife against your lips. "I won't remind you again, baby. I'll only be nice to you if you shut up and behave like a good fucking girl" his eyelids flutter a little when his hips move against yours. "Because you'll look just as pretty to me without a tongue as you do now, so make your choice" you freeze as blood drains from your face. 

The man gives you a few moments to try him and then he hums in satisfaction when you don't dare. 

"See, that wasn't so fuckin' hard, was it, baby?" Your eyes sting from how tears keep spilling out and down your face in thick streams, the saltiness pricking at your lips as you feel his knife cut your skirt open from the middle before he tears an opening in your pantyhose, groaning at the sight of your pussy before you feel the leather of his gloves tease your folds. "Fucking hell, honey. You've such a cute little pussy on you" you can no longer clearly see what he's doing due to your blurry vision, but the violation of your intimate parts leaves you devoid of any desire to do so. 

Your mind screams at you to stop him.

No one should touch you.

You don't know why exactly, but every fiber of your existence is screeching at you to run. 

Not so much to escape, instead to avoid being defiled. 

But what match are you to an armed man who is thrice your size? 

"It's so tiny and fragile, do you think she can handle me, huh baby?" His voice is heavy as he now pumps his huge leaking cock with one hand, hissing when he touches the tip against your opening to gather some of your slick before spreading it on himself. "You can cry as many of those pretty little tears as you want, angel. Your naughty little pussy is telling me everything I need to know" a sob leaves you at his words as you helplessly sit wide legged with your head hung low, hands resting flat on the table behind you like you had been instructed to do so a few moments ago, now awaiting the inevitable. 

"Fuck" he can't help but roughly curse when your opening refuses to accommodate him and his thick tip slides off it a couple times. "A feisty one" he snickers casually like this is the most normal thing ever. "Good thing I am in the habit of taming–" his words abruptly disappear into a grunt that is accompanied by a jerk of his hips, the action eliciting a loud moan of discomfort from you, "–silly brats like this sweet little pussy here" your back arches as your features scrunch in discomfort, nails pressing against the wooden tabletop. Your pussy squelches around his cock as it is being pried open by his thick girth. 

"Ohhh, sir!" You grunt and more tears escape your eyes. "N- No, no…" Your thighs tremble as you shake your head in horror. "N- No… This is wrong…" Your voice is barely a whisper but he seems to understand you clearly. 

The man cruelly chuckles, the action causing vibrations to travel up your body from where they are connected. "But it sure feels fucking great, don't you agree?" The flat part of his knife digs into the side of your leg as he tightens his hold on your thighs and settles on a rhythm, hips rocking back and forth between the space of your legs. 

Your arms give out and buckle in, causing you to land on your elbows as the loud squeaks of your pussy squeezing at the skin of his cock before letting it go with humiliating clicks only for it to repeat fills the air. 

Your lack of response makes him snort. "What, you don't agree?" When you still don't say anything and just continue to stare at his ski mask, a competitive glint appears in his teal eyes. He brings the knife to your lips and holds it against them. "Kiss it" when your shoulders shake with silent sobs, his hips speed up and the blade presses harder against your skin. "I said, kiss it!" The harshness of his tone forces you to succumb to fear and you obey, nearly sliding up and down the table as you peck the metal. "Now thank me for fucking you" your lips wobble against the weapon but he is relentless as he pants for air in the mask, one hand tightly curled around your knee as your other leg dangles from the table. 

"T- Thank you for fucking me, s- sir…" He twitches inside you with a satisfied growl, each thrust fucking into you deeper and deeper. 

"Now tell me I am the best cock you've ever had" your head is splitting. You feel as though you are being pulled in two opposite directions. A chaos has erupted in your mind and you can barely register his demands anymore. "Do it!" The slap he lands on your boob breaks your train of thought but the hit triggers something inside you and you speak before you can think it over. 

"Please, sir! He won't like it! I can't!" You have no idea who you are referring to and the way his eyes narrow down at you signals that he doesn't either. 

Just what the hell is going on? 

The entirety of today feels like one big Deja Vu.

"Who won't like it?!" His thrusts have turned animalistic but his voice is much less nonchalant than before. "You said you didn't have a boyfriend!"

"I don't!" You squeak out through your tears as your pussy clenches around him and your stomach flips over, the overwhelming sensation in addition to the cruel way in which his hips snap causing your elbows to give up at last. 

"Then who the fuck are you talking about?!" Your shoulders knock over the stationary holder as you shake your head helplessly. 

"I- I don't know!" His hot seed explodes in your tight cavern as you whine loudly, desperate to get away from the assault his cock is inflicting on your worked up gspot. "I don't know! I don't know!" You are at a puzzling loss of words. "But he won't like it! He won't!" 

His concluding thrusts feel almost angry -not that they were much tender in the first place- as a string of muttered curses release from his clenched mouth, the man's long dark hair swaying over his broad shoulders every time he moves. 

"Fucking hell, angel" he rasps once he has finally stopped, though he still remains inside you. "They really did do a number on you, didn't they?" His mask is nearly snatched off his face in the next moment to reveal the most handsome man you have ever seen. 

Utterly remarkable features accompany the teal eyes that watch you angrily, shiny long strands framing them in the most attractive way as the wide shoulders of the man rise and fall with each furious exhale of his flared nose. His sharp jaw that is covered in light stubble is tightly set as he scans your face, fingers tightening around your flesh more and more with the passing second. 

You feel your nether region blink against his cock as you numbly take notice of every detail that he has to offer. Your eyebrows furrow after a few moments when you realize just what you are doing. Then as your eyes begin to widen and palms find the surface of the desk to press against it in order to hoist you up, the realization of why you are doing what you are dawning upon you. 

Your face is next to his within the next second, the discomfort of your joint bodies long forgotten as you reach a finger out towards his face to touch it. 

"Oh, my God…" You whisper as you slowly trace out what the mask had been hiding and like a dam broken, a barrage of memories hits you so hard your vision falters momentarily. "No way…" Your hand falls limp at your side in shock.

"Small world, eh?" His grin glints in the dim lighting of the room. 

. . . 

A loud thump sounded right outside the door of your wardrobe and you couldn't help but whimper, the sound making you widen your eyes before you hurriedly buried your mouth in your fuzzy yellow blanket. 

It was an ordinary Saturday night and you had been watching a movie when you had run out of snacks. So you paused it and got out of bed to grab yourself something from the kitchen but faint unexpected footsteps in the hallway leading to your room forced you to halt your quest.  

Thankfully, you had made it into your current hiding spot just in time before the door to your room slowly opened and a huge figure stepped in, peeking around the room before it stilled in front of the TV. You watched through the slits of the doors as the mysterious man had put two and two together before beginning his search. 

For you. 

You slowly shifted a little to see better when he disappeared momentarily, but then he suddenly walked by the wardrobe and you had to stuff the blanket in your mouth to keep yourself from gasping. The man paused and scanned the room again. Your heart thumped loudly in your chest as he turned towards your bathroom and vanished from your field of vision again. A door opened before clicking close and you sighed in relief. 

Letting a few moments pass before slowly opening the door to a crack, you half turned to grab Kiki, your cuddle buddy and favorite teddy in the entire world from where she had fallen off your lap a moment ago. Though when you went to exit the wardrobe to find your phone and figure out your next move, you found a pair of teal eyes watching you from the crack you had just created, the shock causing you to jump out of your skin and land against the wall behind you with a loud gasp.

You clutched your blanket and teddy close to your pounding chest as you hid your face in your knees, shaking in fear as your heart hammered against your ribcage. 

Some moments passed in complete silence before you felt hands tugging at your cocoon. "Please, please, please!" The most soothing voice you had ever heard responded to them. 

"I'll be nice to you if you'll be nice to me" his words were the most convincing you had ever heard. "What do you say, angel?" You raised your head just enough to see a metal arm extended towards you. 

"Please don't hurt me" you whispered through a wobble of your bottom lip.

"I won't have to if you behave yourself" his form towered you like a vulture hunching over its prey. "You're a good girl, aren't you?" Your furniture had given him some idea of the kind of person that you were. 

And the rest Bucky wanted to find out for himself.

He had decided that he would have you before he had even stepped inside this room when the framed pictures of you with friends and family decorating the living room had caused a tent inside his pants. 

"Use your words for me" you whimpered before slowly nodding your head. 

"Y- Yes, sir. A- Am a good girl" he hummed before thrusting his held out hand in your direction. 

"Come on, then. Don't make me repeat myself" the menacing edge to his tone made you gulp and comply before the minute's end. 

You were slowly and carefully helped out and onto your feet. The stranger's silky hair rushed forth to frame his face when he lowered it to look at Kiki as she landed with a thump on the floor. 

Holding your hand in a firm grip, the man bent to pick her up but didn't hand her back to you. 

"And who is this?"

"K- Kiki, sir."

"Is she your… friend?" 

"B- Bestie, s- sir…" Unbeknownst to you, his cock hardened at your choice of words. 

Fuck. 

"Do you want her back?" You slowly nodded with pleading eyes. 

He hummed again before speaking. "There's a condition." 

"C- Condition, s- sir?" 

"You will be quiet and obedient."

You agreed, not that you had much of a choice but Kiki's wellbeing was your top priority.

The stranger placed you on your bed within the next few moments, pulling your blanket away and giving you a pointed look before threateningly waving the poor teddy in the air when a low whine escaped you. The warning was enough for you to shut your mouth as you curled your toes, flushing under his violating gaze that scanned your underdressed form. 

You were clad in nothing but a tank top and some strawberry pattern underwear. The sudden shift in your body temperature due to the lack of a blanket made your nipples harden against the sheer material of your shirt and the man cursed under his breath before his free hand traveled to his bulge. 

"Why don't you show me how well you and Kiki get along, huh, angel?" You eagerly nodded when the teddy was finally allowed back in your safe hold and you protectively hugged her before going to speak but his next action had you gasping in shock instead. 

"Sir–" 

The man clicked his tongue. "One little peep and you can sweep little Kiki from the hearth tomorrow morning" your eyes became glassy at his words, bottom lip wobbling. And then you inaudibly vowed upon your teddy's safety. 

"S- Sorry, sir."

"See?" His breathing was labored when he stripped you of decency, spreading your legs to examine what was between them and inaudibly grunting at the sight. "That wasn't so hard now, was it, baby?" You shuddered and exhaled heavily through your mouth when his hand curved over the shape of your pussy, thumb swiping over your moist folds.

"N- No, sir." He clicked his tongue. 

"You're too little for that, honey. Call me Daddy." Though questions emerged in your mind, you kept them to yourself for Kiki's sake. "Well?" He raised an eyebrow as his digit found its way to your entrance and he poked at it, the sensation causing you to jump up in shock. 

But you knew better than to express it.

"... Y- Yes, Daddy…" The word felt foreign and awkward in your mouth, but the intrusion of your private areas overpowered every other feeling. 

"Tell me how it feels, honey" the man's tone turned into one of coaxing as the tip of his thumb glided up and down between your folds before circling your entrance. But he kept it from invading your privates for now. 

Your eyebrows were tightly furrowed together as you whined, nuzzling your face into Kiki. "W- Weird, Daddy" that seemed to please him, and he hummed in approval.

"Good girl" a loud and confused squeak escaped you when he pushed the tip of his digit up your glistening slit next. 

"S–" the click of his tongue stopped you and you corrected yourself just in time. "Daddy!" 

"It's okay, honey. Daddies are supposed to take care of their little babies like this" his thumb was soon replaced by his middle finger and you couldn't help but let out a moan when it began to toy with the hood of your clit now, his finger working you open all the while. "See, getting better, isn't it, angel?" It was nothing but strange for your inexperienced body. Your hips tightened but you had no idea what it meant or led to. 

And the intimidating visual was not helping the puzzle. 

"L- Looks so scary, Da- Daddy" your bottom lip jutted out as you sniffled, unknowingly clenching around his finger and making him twitch inside his pants in turn.  

"Aw, baby" he could swear you were the most precious thing he had ever come across. "Too much for your innocent eyes to handle, is it?" He had to have you. "Daddy can help you with that" his finger plopped out of you and your hole retracted, a shudder running down your spine at both the feeling itself and the loss of contact. 

A small pout made its way on your face as you snuggled into Kiki, subconsciously missing the penetration. 

Bucky moved further onto his knees and grasped your naked thighs in his strong calloused hands. "Turn around for Daddy, angel" you were moved to your knees in front of him. He spread your legs apart before moving back to undo his own pants, admiring the handiwork that he had made of you all the while. 

Then he told you that it would  feel a bit strange at first, that it may even hurt, but then it was sure to feel good. 

You panicked when he entered your narrow opening as he hissed out curses, his metal hand curling around your thigh while the other rested on your ass cheeks that it fondled every now and then.

His words that you had initially suspected turned out to be true the more he moved inside you. Your tight, warm channel of moist flesh gripped at his cock in the same way your arms bracingly choked Kiki, whines drawling their way out of your gaping mouth as you nuzzled your flushed face in her soft body, feeling a small flame ignite in the base of your stomach. 

"Hnnng owwhh, Daddy!" You whined as stars clouded your vision when his thick tip hit you deep up your cavern in a certain tender spot. 

"You're so fuckin' tight, angel" his breathing was laboured as his muscular thighs slapped against yours, the collision causing your skin to sting as well as fill the room with a loud clapping sound which was occasionally accompanied by a squelch or two. "It's like you were waiting for your Daddy all along, huh?" You winced when one of his hands wrapped around your hair to pull you back as gently as he could manage. "Tell me you were waiting for me to come along and fuck this pretty pussy broken" you yelped when his free hand landed a harsh smack to one of your ass cheeks. When you didn't respond, he gave a demanding yank to your head. "Don't make me repeat myself, now." 

Bucky could see that you had some difficulty with carrying out orders. 

So he added that to the list of the things that you would have to work on. 

"I- I…" Your chest ached as you struggle to breathe, feeling your senses battle between pain and pleasure. "I w- was waiting for you to co–" your words dissolved into a moan as your form swayed under his rough fucking, "come- come, come and–!" Your fingers tightened around Kiki to brace yourself against the influx of sensation that burst out between your legs when he spanked you one last time before trailing his fingers down your pussy. 

"Go ahead, baby" his lips found the crook of your neck before his sharp teeth grazed against the skin. "You're doing so well for me" your back arched when he pecked your skin right before biting down on it. 

And all of a sudden, the sensory overload was too much for your fucked out mind to handle. Your hips clenched and a lava of what you could only classify as pleasure exploded between them, your vision paling and hearing becoming muffled, mouth falling open to let out raspy stomach churning moans. Suddenly, the intensity of every stimulus that had been tearing its way into your body decreased and a faint ringing swam in your ears. The skin piercing hammering of your heart morphed into heavy thumps and your body went limp as it hung from the robber's cock, being held up solely by the tangle of his arms that encircled your body. 

Bucky felt himself twitch when your orgasm gave way to obedience and you guzzled out your words to fulfill your command. "W- Waz wai'ing for D- Daddy to come along and f- fuck my pussy b- broken" his curse went unheard by you due to your temporary vertigo. 

"Now tell Kiki that" he had to tap one of your cheeks to bring you back to the present. "Look at Kiki and tell her that" the sternness of his words fueled the overstimulation that your core was suffering, the hypersensitivity causing you to clench hard around his girth that pounded into you at a barely registerable pace, your knees shaking uncontrollably. 

"K- Kiki…" Your arms were jelly as you forced them to wobble the pink teddy up in your sight since your head was locked in place by the grip he had on your hair. "I- I…" You whined out a loud moan. "W- Waiting on D- Daddy to c- come and b- break l- little pussy o- open" the brokenness of your voice coupled with the omission of words reached out for his climax and pulled it through. Bucky loudly cursed out in between moans as he rammed into you animalistically, his seed searing into your worked up walls and coating the flesh pale.

You had never been praised the way you were that night when the man– Bucky, he told you once he had placed you in the comforting bath he drew for you, cleaned and washed you thoroughly as he pressed reassuring kisses to your tear stained cheeks. When he declared the next morning that he was moving in, you did not say much for he still intimidated you but you had your suspicions. However, as time passed and you two grew closer than ever, you realized that the transition had been much easier and natural than you had expected. 

Your lover excused you from your outdoor obligations and gave you a list of rules to abide by to make sure you would well fulfill your role as the homerunner. He made a promise with you to mend his ways and he actually did it by finding himself an honest job that paid well enough for your household. Then, even though you reassured him that he could just give you your grandmother's ring to propose, he was adamant on buying you one with a big rock. One that would match the shine of your pretty eyes, he said.

In other words, everything was going well. 

Yes, the beginning of your relationship had been unconventional to say the least.

But fate had a strange way of bringing people together. 

That eventful night had been your share.

What did such silly things matter when the both of you loved each other so much? 

That was, until one day…

. . . 

"I told you, angel. I'd always find my way to you" the man speaks as he fixes his pants while keeping a vigilant eye on you. 

Your mouth is wide as tears wet your cheeks like an unceasing waterfall. "Daddy…" 

"Yes, Daddy" passive rage drips off his smug words. "You thought you could report me and flee the country and that'd be the end of it?"

You shake your head vehemently and sputter out all the words you can manage in your honest defense. Your labored breathing turns into sobs as you grab at his hands and plead your case desperately. 

You hadn't reported him. You could never do that to your Daddy and future husband!

Not even in your worst nightmare!

What had actually happened was that you had been tending to your daily tasks as usual when some strange men with badges you did not understood had shown up to your house while he was at work. They were mean but they had not hurt you. Instead, they had thrusted all kinds of files and records in your face, saying unbelievable things about your Daddy that simply could not be true and then demanding you tell them where he worked. 

But you were too little to know those things. 

So they ransacked your house before one of them found a piece of paper from one of Bucky's jackets before showing it to the rest. Their boss had turned back to look at you one last time with pity in his eyes before he called someone on his phone and joined his fellow men in one of the sleek black SUVs that they had arrived in. Your Daddy had not come home that night. Instead, your sobbing mother who lived in a different city had approached you where you had been waiting for Bucky out on the front stairs of the house. 

She had forced you away from your home. You kept telling her that you had to inform your Daddy of what had happened and that he never ate without you and that he would be looking for you. But your sweet mother had become a tyrant with your safety -like you needed it- and you just could not understand the hysteria until she placed you in therapy that you thought you did not need. 

But when you finally did start responding to the kind lady at the funny smelling clinic, you had slowly understood your mother's manic behavior. 

"... And she said you were a terrible man that I best forget all about and move on in my life, Daddy. I didn't mean to blank you out!" You finish your speech, squeezing his fingers earnestly as your eyes beg his to believe you. "I didn't want to. But they said you were bad and a criminal and, and– I didn't have a choice" you sob and shake your head desperately, the awareness of just how hurt he must have felt when you disappeared choking your heart out. "And they wouldn't listen and they kept saying that you kidnapped me and–" he doesn't interrupt you. In fact, he hasn't done much of that in the past few minutes. 

But then a heavy bell goes off in your head all of a sudden and you understand why he has been quiet, the horrific realization causing your muscles to freeze and shrivel as you feel foam rising in your mouth. Your eyes widen to the shape of saucers as the pattering of your tears literally becomes audible in the quiet room. "... But… Y- You…" Your clammy fingers try to yank themselves out of his. "You… did kidnap me after…" Terror grips at your throat. 

Unreadable emotion passes by his teal orbs faster than you can process. Bucky lowers his head as he restricts your hands from pulling out of his by interlocking them in an iron-strong hold. Heaving in a deep sigh, he snickers to himself humorlessly, the long strands of his hair falling over his face as his shoulders shake. 

"Oh, angel" he looks up once he finally gains composure over what had turned into sneering chuckles. "You will have to relearn everything all over again, won't you?" Your body feels petrified as the graveness of the matter sears into your muscles. He tugs his gloves off before cupping your face with his metal hand. "Good thing we have the rest of our lives with no one left to trouble us this time, huh?" With a promising kiss to your lips, he pulls his mask back down and fishes another one out of his jacket before slipping it over your face. "Come on, let's go home" Bucky effortlessly hauls you onto one of his massive shoulders after he swipes your nose with his thumb on which he had poured a strange substance out of a vial. The liquid instantly numbs your mind and your eyes go heavy, not that your terrified body was moving much in the first place. 

The next few things that you feel through your melting senses include Bucky pulling your tattered skirt down before giving a powerful smack to your ass, turning in the opposite direction of the way you had come here after exiting the Manager's office, descend the fire escape that he chooses to exit the building through before briefly jogging to what you figure is probably a vehicle since you hear the beeping open of a lock.

And then everything goes dark.

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine - Chapter sixteen: "What do you mean Wheels up?"

Summary: Stephen's death and Emily's kidnapping are a hard blow to the team. Spencer and his wife haven't slept in over 48 hours and fighting is the only way to go, apparently.  Word count: 6.074 Warnings: Cursing, spoilers of Criminal Mind Ep S13 01, angst A/N: The Reids need a break from everything. And no matter wht you say, the "wheels up" scene is the cringiest moment in the entire show. Try to prove me wrong. 

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(Y/N)’s point of view

We waited for a few minutes in the hospital hall until our friends got there. We had called their family and let them know what was going on. Spencer seemed to be in severe pain, and there were too many reasons: lack of sleep, stress, hospital lighting… the fear our friend had been hurt, Emily was missing and Stephen was dead. My husband was clearly having post-traumatic stress syndrome, with no time to deal with any emotion he might have to face.

It got worse after talking to Rossi. He was refusing treatment until he spoke to Luke, Spencer, and me.

- “First, you, go through my pants pockets and find my keys. There's a little one there in a file cabinet in my office. You following me?”

The man had hit his head, was still bleeding, and looked at us like he was about to give us the secret location of the holy grail.

- “Yes, I’m following.”- Luke said, holding the keys.

- “Inside, there's Chicago Bears season tickets. When you get them, you call Matt Simmons. I promised him those tickets.”

So Rossi hit his head harder than we had anticipated. We tried to convince him he was under any drug effect, but he got so mad he called us “assclowns” and forced us to go to the BAU and do as he asked us. It was the only way he would accept treatment.

- “I can’t arrest him.”- Spencer said as we reached the bullpen. Luke and I turned to him as he covered his eyes with one hand for the hundredth time in the last half hour.

- “What are you talking about?”- Alvez asked him.

- “Scratch.”- my husband explained and made an effort to look at us- “The second I see his face, I am going to kill him.”

- “Reid, come on! No one could blame you, we all wanna end that bastard.”- Luke tried to ease the mood, but I knew Spencer meant it. He wanted to add something, but he covered his eye with one hand with a painful expression. I wanted to hold him and take him away from all that pain, but we needed to help our friends.

- “What's wrong with me?”- Spencer whispered as I kissed his hand. Neither of us had rested a lot, and his crazy hair showed how little time he had had to take care of himself in the last 48 hours.

- “I’m pretty sure it’s PTSS. You’ve been in hyper-vigilant mode for the last 48 hours, we haven’t slept, eaten or rested, and shit keeps going south.”- I replied and rubbed his arms. - “I would suggest you take some time off to deal with this, but we both know…”

- “I don't have time to process my emotional state.”- Spencer added and I just nodded.

- “That's exactly when you make time, right? You ask for help. There's no shame in that.”- Luke tried to help, but Spencer’s attention was lost.

- “Rossi's office.”

- “Yeah. I'll handle that.”- Alvez tried to continue talking, but Spencer stopped him as he started walking away.

- “No. There's someone in Rossi's office.”

My husband was right, Penelope and Agent Simmons were in the room when we walked in, and they immediately gesticulated us not to make a sound and to give them our phones. Once they put them in a little wooden box filled with Cuban cigars Rossi had on his desk, Pen finally explained:

- “Ok. Now that we are secure, I got that for Rossi last year. Not only is it a cigar case, but it's also a Faraday case. It blocks all radio and cell signals. I think Scratch might be listening to us with our cell phones, even when they're off.”

I felt naked as soon as I heard that. What had Scratch heard…

- “That explains why Rossi was so cagey in the hospital.”- Luke added- “All right. Let's find these tickets.”

But as soon as he opened the drawer, all we could see were files about Scratch.

- “What is this?”- I asked as I grabbed one and went through the pages.

- “Stephen was brought on board for one reason. That was to catch Scratch.”- Simmons explained- “That is his entire investigation into him. He kept all his records off-site, updating Prentiss and Rossi through hard copies.”

- “If it's off the cloud, Scratch can't hack it.”- Spencer added, making it sound so obvious it hurt I didn’t realize it sooner.

- “Have you guys read it?”- I asked immediately.

- “No. Prentiss ordered it compartmentalized, eyes-only clearance, but she also felt there should be at least one failsafe who wasn't part of the BAU who knew about it just in case of emergency. That's why Garcia called me.”

Emily fucking Prentiss was the best, no questions asked.

- “All right. Let's dig in. I mean, this may be our only chance at stopping this bastard.”- Luke grabbed a few files and started passing them around. I followed him and got ready to read and find my best friend. We had to bring her back and make Scratch pay for what he had done.

Spencer’s point of view

It wasn’t a good day, let's put it that way. The fact Stephen was dead and that it could have been anyone on the team was too painful to start analyzing. It got real. I had always been, but it reminded us we could go through the same any day on the field.

Monica, Stephen’s wife, called Luke and asked him to go with her to the hospital to see her husband for the last time. It broke my heart to even think that that could be my wife, visiting my corpse.

But I didn’t have time to think about it. We had to find Prentiss.

I knew my wife was trying to focus as well, but tears kept falling down her cheeks as she read the files from Stephen’s investigation. I wanted to comfort her, but again, we had no time to process, to feel sorry, to feel at all. We were against the clock, and every minute Prentiss was away was a minute I knew she was being tortured.

All I could do was read file after file and make a major effort to find a lead.

Until I did.

- “What? Prentiss texted Hotch?”- (Y/N) asked as she read the print I had found. Garcia stood by her side in the conference room and read the paper over and over again, still not believing what I had found.

- “According to Stephen's documentation, yes.”- I replied.

- “It must have been a coordinated attempt to share intel. Would Hotch have exposed himself like this?”- Simmons asked, looking confused.

- “No!”- me and my wife yell at the same time.

- “And neither would she!”- I added and continued talking as I wrote the last message on the board. - “I mean, she wouldn't rely on a hackable app, and she sure as hell wouldn't write, “A.H.,” in a text. That defeats the purpose of compartmentalizing the investigation.”- I rambled, starting to feel very irritated by the slow pace we had figuring out where Prentiss was.

- “It was a smoke screen.”- Garcia whispered, shocked.

- “Prentiss knew they had to triple watch their backs because Scratch has always had eyes and ears everywhere.”- (Y/N) added and crossed her arms on her chest, looking upset and tired as well.

- “Stephen had a background in counterintelligence. He must have designed this. He faked the Hotch side of the conversation to entice Scratch to make a move.”- I nodded at Simmon’s words as I turned and looked at my team.

- “The size and scale of which indicate desperation, a desperation he hasn't shown after a year of hiding, so why now?”

My question hung in the air for a few seconds, until (Y/N) said.

- “It’s clear that the last text hit a note on him. We know Scratch has been obsessed with Hotch ever since the very beginning. He has to be trying to get his location from Em.”- that didn’t help keep me calm at all, but I knew she was right.

- “(Y/N) is right, A.H. is a pretty big red flag. Maybe that's what brought him out.”- Simmons added.

- “Well, they used Hotch's initials in other texts before.”- Garcia suggested- “Maybe that’s not it…”

- “Then they found something else, something they knew would rattle him.”- I turned to read the message again when my wife asked.

- “What’s B-cap?

- “Geography maybe. I mean, it's mentioned in relevance to DC.”- I heard Simmom’s theory, but it didn’t feel right. To make it worse, my eye was still bothering me, I was feeling anxious and I couldn’t focus.

- “Maybe it’s a code name for a partner.”- (Y/N) suggested.

- “I can't see it.”- I whispered, annoyed. That shouldn’t be that hard. There had to be something there to help me decode those letters, and I couldn’t see it. It was so frustrating and irritating I had to deal with it alone before I snapped in front of my team. And my wife.

- “Hey, no. Why don't we kick it over to the team? Maybe they can suss out…”- Penelope was still talking when I started pushing her and Simmons out of the room.

- “No. No time. Get out!”

- “What?”- Garcia looked at me like I had just asked the most random thing on earth, but I kept gently pushing her and Simmons out.

- “Get out. Sorry. You too, chipmunk, please.”

- “What? Why me?”- the way (Y/N) stared at me was both hurt and confused.

- “I'm sorry, but get out.”- I kissed (Y/N)’s forehead as Garcia grabbed her computer, Matt took the folders and I closed the door behind them.

I needed to be alone and focused. I was exhausted, but there was no time to rest. Prentiss was in danger and I had to make an effort and figure out that message as fast as possible.

(Y/N)’s point of view

I stared at Spencer pacing in the conference room for almost an hour. It was killing me because I knew how much he was pushing himself to get the right answer. He felt responsible, he was taking the burden all alone, and it was painful to know he wouldn’t even let us help.

- “Did he even sleep?”- Garcia asked and held my hand, trying to comfort me.

- “No more than an hour. Morgan stopped by with donuts.”

- “Yeah, he told me he wanted to catch up with him.”

- “I didn’t get time to hug him. I really need a hug from Morgan right now.”- I whispered and Pen held my hand tighter.

- “This I might be able to help with.”- Matt Simmons said and pointed at the text on the screen- “Prentiss’ last text had to do with Honduras. Scratch's last known sighting before tonight was Honduras.”

- “Right, and we thought Scratch fled there.”

- “Right. Prentiss asked the IRT to contact our Central American sources just to see if we could find anything. Now, we never did. We also never stopped to ask why Scratch was in Honduras in the first place.”

- “Clearly, not for the baleadas.”- I whispered and stood up. I needed to move to keep my head focused because I was both falling asleep and losing my mind sitting there.

- “Reid will figure this out.”- Garcia said with such conviction I felt hopeful for a second.- “He's really amazing at this kind of thing.”

That was the moment my husband picked to toss a book against the window, shocking us all. He was like a madman inside that room, with crazy hair and crazy weary eyes. I ran over and stormed into the conference room with Matt and Garcia. But before I could ask Spencer what the hell had happened, he started talking:

- “B-cap is short for Banisteriopsis caapi.”

- “What the hell just happened?”- I asked, but he ignored me and continued explaining.

- “It's a plant, specifically a hallucinogen that's found in a tea called ayahuasca.”

- “We worked on a couple of those cases, I think. If I remember, it's like peyote.”- Simmons added and my husband nodded and continued talking.

- “Yeah, in multiple ways. They're similar legally in that taking them is considered a religious practice, and pharmacologically, they're similar in that both drսg cause you to hallucinate intense, geometric patterns and vomit a lot.”

- “Ok. What does this have to do with Scratch?”- Garcia questioned, still looking shaky after the book-throwing scene.

- “Well, Scratch has a cocktail of disassociative drugs to induce delusions, but a mathematical mind like his would always be looking for ways to tweak and improve the formula.”- my husband explained.

- “Ok, so he wanted to get this B- cap and use it against his victims?”- I asked him and he nodded.

- “Exactly.”

- “So he went to Honduras to look for it. He then brought it back to DC to experiment with it. Stephen and Emily came to the same conclusion and tried to pretend like they were hot on his trail.”- Simmons summarized Spencer’s idea as my husband came up with a plan:

- “We need to track down all practitioners of the ceremony in the district... Shamans, gurus, overnight religions that just hung their first shingle. He could be using one of their volunteers as a partner, either witting or unwitting.”

Penelope, Matt, and I nodded, but none of us moved. Spencer frowned and stared at us confused.

- “What?”- he asked us.

- “You threw a book at a window. It was jarring.”- Garcia whispered, still shocked.

- “It took me sixty minutes to deduce what should have taken me sixty seconds, and if Emily dies because I was too slow, I'll be throwing a lot more than books.”

And just like that, my husband stormed out of the conference room. But I wasn’t gonna let him throw a tantrum and make me feel bad about it. So I followed him.

- “Stop it!”- I whispered/yelled and grabbed his hands to force him to turn and look at me, as he reached his desk in the bullpen.

- “What? Working? I don't think it’s a good idea, all things considered.”- Spencer hadn’t snapped at me at work in a very long while, though it didn’t surprise me. He was exhausted, but so was I, and I wasn’t throwing things around.

- “Stop trying to do this on your own, Spencer! We are a fucking team!”- I raised my voice ‘cos I didn’t have any more patience to deal with him.

- “I know we are, but I need to focus! This is the kind of thing I am good at, and I am failing!”- Spencer’s voice was hard, he was almost yelling and I was glad the bullpen was mostly empty.

- “You are failing at being a team member! We are all worried sick about Em, not just you!”

- “Don’t you think I know that?! I am worried about JJ, Rossi, and Tara too! And they are not here to help us solve this case, so it’s just us two, who have barely slept or eaten, plus Garcia and Simmons!”

- “Exactly! Not just you! So fucking let us help!!”

- “I need to do this!”- Spencer argued and I nearly lost it.

- “Why don’t you take a trip to Mexico behind my back again then, maybe that would help!”

- “Oh! you were waiting for a chance to throw that to my face!!”

- “Stop it!”- Penelope grabbed our hands and forced us to stop yelling at each other.- “I love you both, and I know you are not at your best, so please, for your family’s sake, stop arguing right now!”.

- “Can you tell him he is being a jerk?”- I replied and Penelope nearly gasped. - “He is! You know he is!”

- “So are you!”- my husband argued and Garcia was now officially shocked.

- “You are making me act like a jerk!”

- “Time out! Both of you!”- Garcia raised her voice- “You are going to sit in the conference room and fix your problems while me and Simmons are going to find the ayahuasca dealer who is covering Scratch, and we won’t talk to you until you have talked like adults and not the annoying brats you are being!”

- “We don’t have time for this!”- Spencer argued as Garcia started pushing us to the conference room.

- “Then make time for this!”- she said and slammed the door behind us. She locked us there, forgetting (or overlooking) the other door in the room, wide open.

- “This is crazy, we should be after Scratch!”- Spencer complained as I sat at the conference table and stared at him, pacing back and forth the room.

- “We? Don’t you mean you, Spencer?”- I crossed my arms on my chest and stared at him as his face changed.

- “Why are you making such a big deal about it? I am good at figuring things out! Period!”- my husband stared at me, crazy hair, weary eyes, exhausted, and angry. I was sorry I was being mean, but I couldn’t hold it. He was in so much pain he kept covering his right eye with one hand, still struggling with his vision. And yet, he refused to stop and ask for help.

- “I know you are good at it! You are good at fucking everything, Spencer! But that doesn’t mean you have to figure it out all alone! You can’t just throw us out of a room ‘cos you need to think, and you can’t fucking slam books at a window and not expect us to be worried!! What the hell were you thinking?!”

I stood up and waited for his answer. He looked at me and simply raised his arms, like asking me a question.

- “You know this is not our regular case! This is not a normal situation! We are worried, frustrated, and exhausted!”

- “Spencer! I know that!”

- “Then why are you nagging me?”

- “Because I am tired of feeling you keep pushing me away when things get hard like I can’t handle shit!”- I yell and finally take the anger off my chest- “You don’t ask for my help! You wanna solve everything on your own! I know you wanna keep me safe, but it’s so frustrating ‘cos I know I can help you and you don’t fucking let me! Ever!”

- “You know I trust you! You are an amazing SSA!”- Spencer tries to explain, but I don’t let him go on. I groan in frustration and shake my head.

- “Not here! At home! You are your own island! I know things haven’t been at their best lately! I know having your mom has been challenging and I feel incredibly guilty because I told you it was ok to bring her home with us! But I just want to help! And you never let me in!”

- “(Y/N), I’ve had to deal with my mother alone my entire life!”- Spencer yelled like it was groundbreaking news.

- “Not for the last ten years or more, Spencer!”- I replied and felt almost insulted.- “I’ve supported you, loved you, and helped you with Diana since we were friends! I’ve loved her since we met!”

- “But she is not your mom! She is my problem! My burden!”- Spencer’s voice shook as he finished that sentence, and covered his eyes one more time.

- “We are not married just to fuck and raise our kids! We are married to share the good and bad things! I’ve told you a million times, that we are in this together! Whatever “This” is! Stop pushing me away or I’m actually gonna go away! Is that what you want?”

Spencer stared at me after I finished shouting. He seemed hurt, not angry, not upset, he looked at me as if I had just shot him, and he had never seen it coming.

- “I love you with my life, but we can’t go on like this.”- I whispered and took a few steps closer to him. Enough yelling, we really had to start moving in that conversation and fix things- “This whole situation showed us how much work we still need.”

- “(Y/N), all I’ve ever wanted to do was to protect you.”- my husband sounded so wounded as he said those words, and I felt guilty for having that conversation, though I knew we needed it.

- “I know, but ironically, you keep hurting me in the process.”- I replied and took another few steps closer to him. He held my hands and rested them against his face, cradling his cheeks.

- “I know I’m stupid when it comes to feelings… I’m sorry.”

- “Were you planning to tell me about Mexico or did you actually think you could keep it from me forever?”- I asked him and he took a deep breath before replying.

- “I really wanted to tell you. I've felt like shit since it happened.”

- “Did it just happen once?”

- “Yes. I planned a second trip but never made it.”

- “Why didn’t you? You felt guilty?”

- “That, and the kids got sick that weekend. I could never leave you alone with them.”- Spencer confessed and he closed his eyes as if the thought brought him pain. He looked ashamed. - “I’m so sorry.”

I wrapped my arms around Spencer and he held me so tight against his body, I had trouble breathing for a second.

- “I hate when Cat Adams gets into my head.”- I whispered against his chest and my husband kissed the top of my head.

- “It was my fault, I let her get too close this time.”

- “Fuck yeah you did, she even sat on your lap.”- I looked at him and he caressed my cheeks carefully and slowly as he stared into my eyes.

- “I did what I could to get my mother home safe.” - Spencer’s voice was so apologetic my chest tightened as I heard him.

- “I know… but it doesn’t mean it was nice to hear, or watch.”

- “You know you are the only woman on earth for me.”- he added quickly as he raised my chin with his index finger, forcing me to lock eyes with him.

- “Derek might add other planets to that list as well, Space Boy.”- I teased and Spencer sighed, nodding.

- “True.”- he held me a few more minutes, letting the whole argument sink in.- “I don’t want to push you away.”

- “I know… it comes naturally when you are under pressure. You shut everybody out.”

He didn’t say anything else, I knew what he was thinking. A part of him wanted to apologize, the rest of his brain kept thinking about Emily. I sighed and looked at him, as my hands tried to fix his messy and crazy hair a little.

- “We’ll figure it out. Now let’s bring Em back.”

Spencer’s point of view

(Y/N) and I were still reading some of the files with Scratch’s intel Stephen had collected over the recent months when our cell phone rang. We both read the text, it was an address. Matt and Penelope had a location. They were on their way.

- “We are ten minutes closer.”- I whispered and my wife dropped the file on the table.

- “Hurry!”

We both knew we shouldn’t be doing that, neither of us had slept, I could barely see with one eye and my mental health was… unhealthy, to call it somehow decent. I was ignoring all the signs of burnout, anxiety, and panic attacks because I didn’t have time to deal with it. And my poor wife was unquestionably exhausted.

I kept the AC ice cold, trying to keep (Y/N) awake as she drove. The cold could help her stay focused, because it has a stimulating effect on your body, helping to counteract drowsiness, as well as improve mental clarity and alertness.

- “I’m fucking freezing.”- she whispered.

- “I’m trying to keep you awake, chipmunk.”- I replied and rubbed her leg.

- “I’m about to start singing all the Frozen songs.”- I chuckled remembering Raven would force us to watch that movie at least once a week back then. Even my mother knew some of the songs.

- “Did you double-check your bulletproof vest?”- I knew I had checked it myself, but I had to ask again.

- “Yes, you?”

- “Yes.”- she parked and we basically jumped out of the SUV.

- “You take right, I take left.”- I suggested but my wife shook her head even before I was done talking.

- “We are not splitting. We walk in together and walk out together. Is it clear?”

- “Yes ma'am.”

We rushed inside and less than a minute later, we heard the first gunshot. The place was a three-floor warehouse. We ran toward the sound, in hopes of finding Emily. My wife was right behind me, both our guns pointing around us the entire time.

And then, I saw her, Em, running up the stairs as Scratch tried to catch her.

- “FBI!”- I shouted and pulled the trigger. But I didn’t get him, I couldn’t even focus my gaze. He shot back, and I had to take two steps back, pushing my wife behind me to keep her safe.

- “Are you ok?”- I whispered as she nodded.

- “Are you?”

- “Yes, let’s go, Emily is on the run.”

We went upstairs but didn’t find anything. Instead, we heard Alvez’s voice from the first floor and decided to regroup with him.

- “Prentiss!”- I yelled as soon as I heard another gunshot. I was on edge, ‘cos I knew at the sight of Scratch I wasn’t going to talk to him, I wasn’t hoping for an interrogation or even to see him rot in jail. No. I wanted to be the one to put a bullet in that man’s head. I needed to see him bleed and get cold to be sure no one else in my family was ever going to be threatened by him.

- “Lower your weapon, damn it!”- Prentiss whispered as I found her and Matt behind some boxes on the first floor.

- “Where is Scratch?”- I asked immediately.

- “He is upstairs.”- Em whispered.- “Tag in here, Simmons and Alvez can box him in.”

- “No, I need to go find him.”

- “No, no, no, Spence. Please. I need someone I know is real right now, all right?”- Emily begged me and my wife moved closer to her and wrapped her arms around her. Simmons took his chance and ran away to catch Scratch. When my wife moved from Emily, I wrapped my arms around Prentiss and held her close to me.

- “Are you ok?”- I whispered as Prentiss nodded and tried not to cry.

- “Do you wanna go to the car?”- (Y/N) asked.- “This whole floor is clear. Scratch was alone here. Cocky bastard.”

- “Yeah, I need to get out of here.”- Emily replied. I held her and helped her walk as my wife grabbed her from the other side and supported her weight too,-

- “Scratch is down.”- we heard Alvez’s voice on the monitor a few seconds later.- “I repeat, Scratch is down.”

And though the nightmare was over, I didn’t feel relieved at all.

- “He fell, trying to escape.”- Luke explained to us as we stood next to the body. It made his death real, but it didn’t help with closure. It felt oddly wrong. The bastard was dead but all the pain he had caused was still here, hunting us. Knowing he was gone wasn’t enough to make it go away.

Coming back home to our kids was all we needed. That day, after visiting the team at the hospital, and dragging Emily along for a check-up, we went to Sofia’s and spent the rest of the day with our babies and my mother. Raven was so happy to see us she didn't let either of us go the entire day. Not even for nap time. (Y/N) held Vincent most of the time, she didn’t want to let him go, even when our 22-month-old wasn’t very excited to be stopped from running around.

- “We need time off from work.”- my wife whispered as we both lay on her old bed, holding our sleepy babies close to us.

- “We do.”- I replied and moved my hand from Raven’s back to my wife’s leg, rubbing it carefully a few times.

- “Maybe permanently.”- she added after a few seconds. But I didn't have an answer for those words. Not yet at least. So I just closed my eyes and sighed, ready to fall asleep.

(Y/N)’s point of view

Stephens’ funeral was something I wasn’t ready to deal with. I still felt overwhelmed by everything that had happened, and I didn’t feel prepared to face Monica, his wife. When I saw her sitting with their two kids, I kept seeing myself instead, crying over Spencer’s casket.

I didn’t know how to deal with the angst that that image produced me. I just held my husband’s hand tight as we stood next to Penelope and Simmons. Speeches were said, and people spoke about Stephen’s incredible career, his brilliant mind, and his good heart. All the things we were never going to share with him.

Somehow, Emily was strong enough to say some words at the ceremony. Being in a cemetery wasn't doing any good for anyone’s mental health at the moment, but we loved Stephen too much not to be there to say one last goodbye.

- “We never get to say good-bye the way we want, and when we deal with a loss so sudden and cruel, our emotions can overwhelm us.”

Prentiss’ voice was clear and strong. I bit my lips to stop crying, and Spencer wrapped an arm around me, kissing the top of my head.

- “Stephen Walker was a good agent, but he was a better man. He made the world a better place, and we can honor him by doing the work he never got to do.”

He never got to watch his kids grow. He never got to kiss his wife one more time. He didn’t get to retire, have a life, catch Mr. Scratch, and watch how he made the world a better place. There were too many things Stephen didn’t get to do, and all that ‘cos a psycho killer murdered him. I just sobbed and hid my face in Spencer’s shirt. He held me tight and didn’t let me go during the entire ceremony.

I couldn't even talk to Monica, I was too affected. However, I watched Emily and JJ talking with her, so after they lowered the casket and most people were gone, Spencer whispered in my ear:

- “Ready to go?”- and I just nodded.

- “Prentiss asked us to meet her at the BAU.”- Mat announced to us as we started walking. I didn’t want to go there, I wanted to go home and be with my kids. But I knew if Em wanted us to go to the BAU, it was serious. It wasn’t a meeting at Rossi’s after something had emotionally affected the team, it was formal.

When we walked into the conference room, Emily was waiting for us. She stood alone, like taking the room in. God knows how fucked up she was after being taken by Scratch, we had very little time to talk to her. We had little time for anything and everything at that moment. Rossi stood by her side as we all heard her saying to Matt.

- “I wanted to thank you for all of your help.”

- “Well, it was good to be of help. Ever since the IRT went down, I've been sitting on my hands waiting for a new assignment.”- he replied with a short smile.

- “We should sit down tomorrow. We can talk about that.”- Em suggested with a nod.

- “I'd like that.”

I don’t know why knowing there was a chance Matt joined the team made me feel better about my constant thoughts of leaving. Maybe ‘cos it meant someone else could step in and take our place.

- “So we all need to discuss what Peter Lewis' death means for this team.”- Emily was in full chief-of-department mode. Spencer, who was standing by my side, held my hand and intertwined our fingers as he kept looking at Prentiss.

- “It means that Hotch can come back.”- Penelope suggested, which I hadn’t thought about to be honest. Would he like to come back to this job? A job I didn’t know if I wanted anymore?

- “Yeah. We spoke to him. He was relieved that he and Jack were out of danger. They're out of Witness Protection, but...”- Rossi paused as if he didn’t want to break our hearts with the truth.

- “He's not coming back, is he?- JJ finished his sentence and David just nodded.

- “He loves being a full-time dad.”- Prentiss added- “He never got to do that before, and, let's face it, in this job…”

- “There's always gonna be another Scratch, and he's lost enough.”- Rossi’s words were somber, but filled with honesty. Of us all, Aaron Hotchner was the one person who had been forced to sacrifice too much for the team, for the victims, for the benefit of the Bureau. He deserved a life out of that madness and just be happy. Who knew? Maybe Beth could take him back after all those years.

- “We all have.”- Tara pointed out and looked at me. Of course, she knew I was a mess. But to be fair, we were all destroyed after those last couple of days.

- “Yes. We have, which is why the director has ordered us to take some time off from handling cases.”

At that moment right here, I felt like a whole brick wall had been lifted from my shoulders.

- “But before we all leave, there's one last thing I need to say.”- Prentiss continued talking. - “Scratch got deeper into my head than I care to admit, and the only way I was able to stay sane was by repeating a mantra, two words. You know what those two words were?”

- “Fuck you?”- I asked, but Prentiss shook her head.

- “Wheels up. It saved my life when I wasn't sure I was gonna make it because it reminded me that you were out there fighting, so take your rest... You've earned it. But when we get back, wheels up, Matt.”- Em turned to Simmons and he looked at Rossi for a second before answering:

- “Wheels up, Emily.”

- “Wheels up, Tara.”- Prentiss asked and I closed my eyes for a second, feeling the anxiety filling my body. My friend was about to ask us all one by one if we committed to the team after our weeks off and I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with my life.

- “Wheels up.”- Lewis replied with a short smile.

- “Wheels up.”- JJ said before she was asked to answer,

- “Wheels up.” - Penelope did the same, and her voice cracked slightly.

- “Wheels up.” - Luke added

- “Damn right, wheels up.”- Rossi gave it a twist and then turned to my husband. His hand was still holding mine and I gave it a little squeeze. He looked at me and then at the people around us and finally nodded as he replied.

- “Wheels up.”

And then, they all stared at me. I didn’t know what to answer; I was feeling my peers’ pressure. So I opened my mouth and before I knew it, I heard myself saying.

- “Wheels up.”

And I immediately regretted it. 

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[zoropookie]

WHAT YOU WON'T DO FOR LOVE (WYWDFL) — FOUR

YOU couldn't be having a worse halloween night. choose your fate with your fellow readers and see if it gets better!

chapter three — chapter five

soulmate!wanderer x gn!reader

Soulmates exists, and you want to live to see yours. And that mark was looking extra soulmate-ey right now, despite your life being threatened.

His hand was riddled in the filth that is the blood and dirt, mark on his palm shining through the carnage despite that. His mark directly resembled the jagged and wretched lines of a lightning bolt. almost glowing amongst the stains. And even though you could barely see it in the dim light, you knew what it could have been.

"That!" You spluttered, pointing at him immediately, making him flinch back suddenly. You scooted yourself back as an opportunity. "What is that?"

The man paused, his violet eyes flicking back to you in confusion once he analyzed himself. "What?"

"That, your hand," you insisted, heart aching bad in your chest. You weren't sure how well this would work, but it startled him. "I, uh...heard soulmates were the new thing. New trendy thing, you probably heard! Scientists guessed that there was a probability of it being possible."

He frowned for a minute, and you could tell from his posture that he didn't know what to say, to which he lifted his hand up to view it again. A mixture of skepticism and disgust was newfound. "Is that so."

"Yeah...yeah!" You chirped up with newfound confidence again, sitting yourself up more straight. "Pretty cool...right? Heh...it just looked familiar, and I wanted to bring it up. I mean, I have the same mark too, look!" You lifted your own hand, the desperation coherent in your exterior.

For a moment, it seemed like it got to him. You can see his eyes better when he lifted his head. He stared at your hand with a stare that was practically unreadable. The quiet air stretched around you two, and you could hear the sounds of his inner conflict growing closer.

His dark eyes held nothing there for what you responded with, and it put you in a perpetual state of limbo yet again. He let out a short and halfhearted laugh, scoffing to himself afterwards before shaking his head. He began to tread towards you yet again, this time with a lot more quickness.

"Uhh, woah, hey there!" You stammered, almost gasping once the tip of his boot met in between your legs as he leaned forward to meet with your eyes. "I'm sorry if I said anything wrong! Please...don't put me in a Hello Kitty mermaid toy or something."

"You know what I learned about scientists a long...long time ago?" He asked with more gravel to his tone, crouching down eye level to meet yours. This was the first time you were seeing all of his face, and you had to admit, he had a very bad case of severely handsome syndrome. "Whatever they want you to believe, they'll come up with shit from the moon and back to get you to give in to their agenda."

Your mouth dropped a little. "So I take it...we're not soulmates?" You laughed slightly to ebb how uncomfortable you were with him being so close to you.

He could only laugh in response, dragging it. "If we are?" He glared down at you bitterly. "You must be extremely fucking unlucky."

You may as well have been bait on a fishing hook.

[sunflowerhae]

Ch. 17 FTCU by Nicki Minaj

Haechan stands beside you, feeling like he’s on cloud 9 as he sways to the beat of the drums. Here he was with all his best friends, watching a free show for a famous artist with a model, two youtubers, and you - his idol and crush..and friend. If you had told Haechan he would be in this position 6 months ago, he probably would have laughed in your face and told you to get fucked. But regardless of that, here he stands, right by you. Typically, when you’re in a room with him, haechan can’t help his eyes from casting their long gaze towards your face. It’s almost instinct on his part; a primal part of him that can’t keep his attention away from you for more than a minute. Even now, as Mark pulls him away to ask him something along with Jaemin (the two seem to be getting on just peachy) he still is acutely aware of every movement you make.

You couldn’t stop yourself from crying.

Watching your best friend of 5 years complete a life dream of hers by finishing a world tour is not a sentence one says everyday, so when you watch Giselle finish her final monologue to the crowd and transition into her second to last song from your spot in the balcony room, you can’t stop the tears that threaten to spill. You look around briefly, noticing that haechan left his place beside you in favor of Mark and Jaemin. You try your hardest to hide the pout that makes its way to your face, shaking off the sick feeling that grows in your stomach from haechan stepping away.

It’s just a stupid crush, y/n.

Can you be blamed, though? In the 6 odd months that you’ve lived in your apartment building - sharing a wall with the boy your eyes can’t leave - Haechan has somehow found a way to nuzzle himself into your heart, setting up camp and using pieces of your sanity to make a tent. Whenever your expectations dip and you try to rationalize your friendship with him, Haechan turns around and exceeds your needs tenfold. It’s almost like the boy knows everything about you, with how much he gets right. He always seems so…aware of what you want and how to get it.

You don’t realize you’re staring until your line of sight is cut off. Looking at the face of the person who stepped next to you, Karina is smiling back while holding out a beer for you to take. “Well, they seem pretty happy right now,” she gestures behind you as you take the beer from her hands. Turning around, you see Winter trapped in Jeno’s arms, swaying to the music as he whispers something in her ear that has her throwing her head back in laughter. You sigh, jealously creeping into your heart at your best friend’s love.

“Yeah, they’re usually like that. Although it’s gotten worse recently, I will say,” you say while laughing, turning back around to see Karina doing the same, “I can’t be mad when I see them, though - just jealous.”

Karina quips her brow up at you, “no one special in your life, y/n?” You look back at her in surpise, which she seems to take as anger, “not like you don’t have anyone special or anything! Just, are you single is all I mean..” she trails off, obviously experiencing a severe case of foot in mouth syndrome. Karina internally hits herself on the head - she really liked you and your friends, and although she would never admit it she can’t help but feel intimidated by all of you. She would hate to ruin the chance of friendship with her bluntness that people typically aren’t fans of. Before she can apologize, she is surprised when you start laughing.

“No, no! You’re okay don’t worry I got what you meant. No, nobody special right now. But with my schedule it probably wouldn’t work out. Any free time I have is usually spent being lazy, or satisfying haechan and his need for attention.” You laugh while rolling your eyes playfully. Just then, the spot to your right is taken by Ningning. You liked her, she was so sweet and you couldn’t help but find her love for coffee endearing. When she told you about her desire to open her own coffee shop, you saw a lot of yourself in her; a girl with dreams who wants to be her own boss. As if feeling a kinship between the two of you, her presence eases away some awkwardness you felt almost immediately.

“Ahh yes, we know a lot about Haechan’s neediness. It’s nice having you around because you take a lot of heat off of our shoulders!” She exclaims, which causes the three of you to go into a fit of giggles, your heart growing warmer thinking about the boy so easily replacing them with you - it’s nice to feel so wanted.

“Oh yeah, I get it. I told him the other day he uses me like a girlfriend or something,” you recount the day, trailing off somewhat awkwardly as you remembered the embarrassment that followed from that sentence leaving your mouth. While you and Haechan played with each other freely, not really having filters in what you’ll say, that one took the cake and you couldn’t help but feel a little proud, as it was the first thing you’ve ever said that left the tanned boy completely silent. The two don’t seem to notice your sudden uncomfortable nature, or if they do they don’t acknowledge it. You watch Karina’s eyes go wide as she smiles,

“Oh my god remember when we met and you thought I was Haechan’s girlfriend!” The two of you laugh while Ningning seems surprised.

“Wait, what? Did I miss something? I didn’t know you guys have met before…” Ningning seemed somewhat betrayed as she stared at the both of you with wide eyes.

“Ning I’ve told you about this, girl! Y/n thought me and Haechan were together when I was there one day to study with him,”

“-yeah it was just a misunderstanding. Haechan cleared it up though!” You finished, nodding a bit as you watched Ningning’s gears turning in her head. Her eyes go light as she bursts out in laughter, picturing something funny in her head.

“God - imagine Karina and Haechan! I know for a fact Karina would never go for him, right? And vice versa too, you’re just not his type - no offense though,” she pouts at Karina, the former rolling her eyes as she tunes out the conversation and focuses on Giselles music. You find yourself hyper aware of this conversation, oddly invested. You also note that Ningning is on her third beer, and is slightly more intoxicated than you. “But it wouldn’t matter regardless!”

“Why not?” You press, instinctively leaning closer into the brown haired girl as she takes another swig of her beer before continuing her thought.

“Well, haechan has a really big crush on this girl he knows, so he would never go for Karina!” You can see the realization sink into Ningning’s eyes as she processes her own word vomit. Karina, having heard just the tail end of your conversation, snaps her head over to the two of you - suddenly becoming an active listener in this doomed interaction.

You’re not sure if your face showed it, the devastation. Maybe you liked Haechan a lot more than even you realized, because at the mention of some random girl he seemingly liked, your stomach felt as if it had been sucker punched by a WWA fighter. You tried your hardest not to wear your heart on your sleeve, just giving a slight nod and a deflated, “oh, that’s cool…”

Yeah, good job with that y/n.

Ningning can see your disappointment, even if she doesn’t understand it. Maybe you’re upset that Haechan didn’t tell you? Of course, why would he tell you - it’s you that he likes. But, you don’t know that, so of course it would upset you. She realizes that she needs to cover her tracks, at the very least so you don’t go moping to Haechan and get her in trouble.

Giselle ends her second to last song and fades into her final and most popular, the crowd screaming while Ningning actively leans in closer to you to make a point to say, “well he likes her but she doesn’t really know so there’s probably not a great chance for them! But you should ask Haechan about it - I mean he’ll definitely tell you because he’s like obsessed with you. NOT IN A WEIRD WAY or anything! Just like..normal obsessed like how people are obsessed with their friends! But like yeah that girl he’s OBSESSED with in a romantic way and he really wants her he talks about her like alll the time..BUT yeah you should ask him if you don’t know because he’ll definitely tell you about it yknow..haha yeah..anyway I’m gonna go get some water BYE Y/N!” And with that, she quickly retreats to the snack table, hitting herself on the head as she realizes she just made things much much worse. With a sigh, you turn back to the concert. Karina gives you a look of confusion, not having heard the last thing Ningning said over the crowd screaming. You shake your head with a small smile, trying to act like it’s all cool, trying to act like your heart isn’t breaking.

Haechan likes someone. He likes a girl and he didn’t even tell you. You’ve gotten to know him so much over the last 6 months, you hang out almost every day and tell each other everything. He’s been in multiple videos now and the fans love him. You eat dinner together all the time and have a tv show that you watch together and get mad at each other if someone watches ahead. Haechan is your everything, and he didn’t even tell you he had a crush on another girl.

Giselle and winter were right, you should have never gotten this involved with him. You should have protected your heart and realized you cannot date your neighbor. There’s so much you should have done, but as you turn your head and lock eyes with his brown gaze - he grins at you in a boyish manner like the both of you have a secret that only you two know - you don’t think it was ever possible to not get this far with him. Haechan has possessed your mind and heart completely, and you let him.

What a stupid crush, y/n.

GG! (Good Game!) 👾

Notes: yay everyone met‼️ guys it’s getting spicccyyyy

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[aydien677]

My own little Psychological Headcannons on the brothers.

A/N: oh my God this is a lot.

Warnings: lots of mental health stuff, like, lots

Ok so I believe Lucifer has ptsd of the complex variety, maybe Bipolar, anxious and severely depressed as well with possible BPD and definitely autism and he will definitely have oldest child syndrome. His brothers don’t appreciate him as much as they should and he seems to rarely ever get hugs since even though he is doing what he thinks is best for them they do their best to ruin his day. He feels anxious he isn’t doing good enough for his brothers and that they’ll get hurt because of this. He’ll blame yourself for everything bad that happens to them. He has a lot of pressure to do everything for your siblings and his needs were put last as his brothers don’t appreciate you as much as they should and even now he’ll put himself last and will overwork himself for his brothers often not eating or sleeping like he should. Whenever his brothers are threatened he will immediately go into fight or flight always choosing fight as if it’s been drilled into him that he doesn’t matter and his brothers come first. That’s why he’ll act tough because he feels guilty for being vulnerable because that makes him feel unfit to protect his brothers and they’ll think he is weak and leave him for showing some emotional vulnerability making him unable to protect them when they leave. He has also turned to borderline alcoholism to help relieve some of his stress and anxiety because he never actually had the time to get over his trauma and learn to take care of himself. Yet most importantly it seems that his brothers are his only will to live.

Then Mammons hyperactive Adhd is mostly what’s fucking him over because he can start something but will quickly loose interest causing it to fail because he can’t follow through and adhd can make you more likely to get addicted to things in Mams case it’s the casino but being the Avatar of Greed also plays a part because he feels like he’s missing something so he’s likely using possessions to try and fix it when he’s really just missing affection because he is used as an emotional punching bag by your brothers and this also caused him to have BPD, major depressive disorder and general anxiety disorder. Since He is mostly used as an emotional punching bag which is not good for him and he hardly ever properly retaliates. This is because he wants to believe you all care but he has a hard time believing it making him even more depressed and anxious especially after Michael pretty much abandoned and bad mouthed him . Despite his grades He is very smart and it’s mostly just his adhd. This can mostly be solved by more positive reinforcement and accommodations for his adhd.

Levi has autism and anxiety and as the Avatar of Envy he is likely jealous of who he used to be but can’t explain that part so he’s just miserable and depressed but at least he’s more open about how he feels especially his anxiety. He really just needs someone to listen to him. Did I mention autism?

Satan is a walking autistic existential identity crisis and as the Avatar of Wrath he is mostly angry because he is confused about why he exists and it’s also why his main comfort is books because they explain things and he’s using escapism as a coping mechanism. He needs reassurance that he is his own person and not a carbon copy of someone else. It’s seen over and over that Satan loves books and that he believes Knowledge is power but he doesn’t have the knowledge of how he came into existence except for the fact he split from Lucifer.

Asmo is the healthiest with his self care but he has histrionic personality disorder and as the Avatar of Lust he is likely trying to Fuck away his feelings so to speak so he doesn’t have to think about it but then again his self care is also his greatest weakness since he believes that if people cannot see how pretty he is what else do they have to go by. His face is his mask and he thinks his mask is all people will ever see. They can't see what's underneath because he thinks that it does not matter.

Beel is mostly just depressed and his guilt likely forms as a pit in his stomach which could also be mistaken for hunger so as the Avatar of gluttony he tries to eat to get rid of that pit of guilt. Belphie is depressed and has inattentive Adhd and if you’re too busy sleeping you don’t have to acknowledge reality of loosing Lilith and his coping mechanism is pretty fitting for the avatar of sloth.

[lunicho]

can i have your thoughts on leehan please…… he suffers from an insanely severe case of pretty face syndrome and i need to RUIN him i’m not even joking. worst part is i’m 100% sure he’s a drooler 😞 how can i exist normally when everytime i close my eyes i see him drooling, whimpering, eyes closed n grasping the sheets for dear life. How

(send bnd asks to @angeltsan)

THIS IS INSANEEE had to take a day long breather to answer this fr 😭

u saying he's a drooler,,, so true. the type to get so caught up in the feeling that he can't even process the fact that his jaw is slack and drool is trickling out of his mouth. i feel like he'd get fucked out so fast as a sub,, it won't take much to get his mind all foggy,, he won't be able to think,, the only words falling from him are small begs and whimpers. loves when u tell him how big his cock is and how bad u wanna make him cum over and over. he loves when u edge him and loves it just as much when u overstimulate him,, he just loves to be used and roughed up and after he cums he loves having ur fingers in his mouth. i feel like he's the prettiest sub,, so fun to use even just to make urself cum 😵‍💫😵‍💫

[nekropsii]

im thinking about the relationship between kankri and porrim because its just so fucking WEIRD like theyre obviously important to eachother or care about eachother to some extent but we dont really know why?? like they dont seem to get along very well

she patronizes him constantly (which is VERY loaded considering they lived on fucking beforus) and ignores his boundaries (calling him patronizing nicknames he doesnt like, wiping his face while he tried to push her off) and he constantly makes insensitive bitchy bigoted comments that go against all of her values and make her angry

and theres not the same dynamic dolorosa and signless had where she raised him like theyre the same age so why do they even talk to eachother?? what is their relationship?? like were they childhood friends or something?? itd make sense if they were both a little different as kids and therefore got along better but then why do they still talk to eachother when they really dont now ITS SO WEIRD

It's... Complicated. They go way back, as far as I can tell.

The way I see it, they do not have a "Mother and Son" relationship- I find that most who assert this often place far too much maturity onto Porrim, who is literally 19 years old. It's more like an Adoptive/Found Sibling relationship between someone with a severe case of Eldest Daughter Syndrome and the social conditioning of a higher-end Midblood on Beforus, and someone with a chronic case of Only Child and the social conditioning of a Mutant Lime on Beforus. The relationship makes more sense to me when you view it this way. It's just... A fraught sibling relationship, formed under societal pressures we can't even fathom. Porrim Maryam, trained by society to cull those beneath her, trying hard not to, and for the most succeeding outside of someone very close to her, and Kankri Vantas, culled and isolated his whole life, becoming a total suck-up to the deeply misogynistic, ableist, hemoloyal culling system as both a method of self defense and as a wielding of the only weapon he really knows. It was used against him all the time, and it works, doesn't it? If sucking up to Able-Bodied Male Highbloods and ridiculing everyone beneath that golden standard is the best way to ensure safety, then he's gonna do it. He's essentially a lifelong voter for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.

Ultimately, I think what keeps Porrim by his side is that... I think she believes in him. It's like watching yourself lose your sibling to the Alt-Right Pipeline. I think she thinks he doesn't actually believe most of what he's saying, and that this is all deeply reflexive. She's smart enough to recognize the real systemic issues at play here, and that he's essentially caught in chains between 5 different machines that all want him dead. And she's right. When you actually read the shit Kankri's saying, it becomes almost immediately apparent that he's spouting bullshit, and that he absolutely knows this. I think what keeps Kankri by her side is that he knows she cares about him. There isn't any denying it. She might infringe on boundaries, or be generally annoying to him, and keeps doing that frustrating little thing called seeing through his and everyone else's bullshit and calling them out on it- not just including but especially his- but she cares. I think he knows that at the end of all things what he'd have left is her. Is this to say that if you got Kankri to grow a spine and genuinely believe in things that aren't spoonfeedings of the latest Conservative Highblood Talking Point/Psy-Op, he'd be a good person? Hell no. No way. He has a raging savior complex and is way too eager to throw other people under the bus and insult/ridicule them to their faces. He's an asshole. Just completely slimy.

But, again, sibling relationships know no bounds. This kind of dynamic just feels so... Realistic to me. The way their relationship is so strained but still so strong and ongoing just feels so human. I don't know. This is pretty meandering, I just think about them a lot.

[mr-urple]

you should definitely rant to me about your iteration if you can.. I would absolutely love to learn abt it to possibly draw our iteration turts interacting.. /nf

I LITERALLY SURPRESS A SCREECH OKAY OKAY OKAY OAKY HHHHH SO

TMNT: Found Family is a teetle iteration based off of my friends!! I only have the turtles drawn out (and April planned in my head) but!!! I do have some of the basics:

Donnie (He/Her): He's based off of Tomi!! She's 14, the youngest of the four bros. Typically quiet around people (unless she freaks the fuck out) but he yaps A LOT when she's either alone or with her siblings. A lot of people mistake him as a very meek and mild individual, but in reality he's a violent BEAST filled with rage. The #1 hater ever. But overall she's very silly and critter-like...

Leo (He/him): The second youngest, based off of me! I would've made myself Donnie but. Then I'd just be drawing my sona SO... yeah... I decided to go with Leo because the person I relate to the most (after MM Don, ofc) is Rise Leo. For. Various reasons. But yeah. He's a 16 year old shithead who looooves playing pranks and being a smartass. He's academically smart but SUPER dense (a lot of shit goes over his head..), but also somehow extremely cunning and witty. Despite being a ball of unhinged chaos, he still ends up caring for his siblings like a dad because he's also an Anxious Idiot. Oh also he has a severe case of RBF syndrome

Mikey (He/him): I based him off of Val, he's 17 years old and the second oldest. Gay as fuck, I haven't shown his design yet but he's. Literally a walking rainbow (and I mean LITERALLY... wait until you see his scale patterning). Like Leo, he's a little shithead who teams up with the blue boy to prank everyone within a five mile radius. He's also somehow even more insufferable than Leo. It's probably because he's gay (DON HOMOPHOBIC REAL!??11/??!?!??!? /j). Despite being a seemingly fiery ball of energy, he gets pretty quiet with strangers. Actually, ALL of them get quiet with strangers. Autism sibs unite or something idk

Raph (She/They): The oldest of them all, being 18 years old!! She's based off of my beloved nee-chan Phantom. The (appointed) leader of the group, she has a major case of the Eldest Daughter syndrome. She's a very caring figure of them all, but despite seeming mature and calm, she's just as chaotic as the rest of them. She won't hesitate to condone murder (for the right reasons, of course) and doesn't really reprimand any of her brothers for their shenanigans. If anything, she laughs and cheers them on. I mean, as long as no one's getting hurt, it's all good, right??

April (She/Her): April is also 14, standing next to Donnie age-wise. She's based off of Cin.. I haven't developed her as much since I don't have her design down yet, but as far as I've thought, she's a very mischievous creature.. think of Anya's smug little "heh" face. That's basically her entire personality /hj. Despite being a little bitch (/lhaff) she's very sweet and won't hesitate to comfort her friends and family. Best little sister ever <- not biased at all

As for the storyline.... uh... haha um I. Haven't really thought that far?? Ik for a fact Splinter (who I haven't developed in the slightest) finds all four of the turtles individually as time goes on, with Raph being the first, then Donnie, then Mikey, and then finally Leo. That's why my iteration is titled "found family", because they all literally found each other (unintentionally, but still).

[face-breaker]

what if we talked more about elliott's language / speech impediment ?

( aka: copy & pasted old hc posts with broken links. ) we have A LOT to unpack here, and if we’re bein’ honest — i’m not sure i even know where to start ! but i guess we can first lay down some ( headcanon ) facts:      elliott displays several different speech and language impediments when speaking. some are more prominent than others, some he’s gotten pretty good at ‘ masking ’ or controlling.           in this post, we’ll talk about the main and most conspicuous of them all: his APHASIA.

     it’s the one that’s got him forgetting certain words and how to properly pronounce them, sometimes even replacing them with other words. there’s a few things to note about this condition in elliott’s case specifically: for starters, he IS properly diagnosed, and has been since he was twenty-eight. however, due to the nature of the condition and how he developed it, IT IS UNTREATABLE. it will also only WORSEN with time.

     the specific type of aphasia elliott was diagnosed with is called primary progressive aphasia ( or PPA ), which is a neurological syndrome in which language capabilities become slowly and progressively impaired. unlike other forms of aphasia that typically result from a stroke or brain injury, PPA is caused by neurodegenerative diseases, such as EARLY-ONSET ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE — which he was also diagnosed with at the same time. it does run on his mother’s side of the family. there’s three sub-categories of PPA, elliott’s diagnosis being logopenic variant primary progressive aphasia, or lvPPA. persons with lvPPA have increasing trouble thinking of the words they want to say and, as time goes on, have more trouble getting the words out and pronounced properly. they eventually begin to speak slower and slower in an attempt to process language, and sometimes find such difficulty in finding words that they might stop speaking all together. difficulties with memory typically get worse over time, and reading and writing may become harder. eventually, they may even start to get lost or have trouble recognizing people.

          and that absolutely TERRIFIES elliott.

     ever since his diagnosis, he attends speech therapy every other week and has regular doctor’s appointments to keep up with the development of his alzheimer’s. it’s something he doesn’t like talking about, and will hardly mention it to even his close friends. the worst part about it being: having to watch his mother live through it and seeing what it’s done and continues to do to her every day. he hates the idea of living like that, HATES the idea of dying like that; alone, confused and SCARED...

     he fights to keep her every day — he wonders if he’ll ever get that bad...when he’ll get that bad. and if there will be anyone there to fight for HIM the way he does for her — and if he’ll even remember who they are when they do.

     there’s times where these thoughts keep him up at night; long, dark hours of just WONDERING — but he always manages to get up and put a smile on other’s faces.

     he’d argue that it’s because he just enjoys other’s happiness — which, he wouldn’t be wrong — but, maybe it does have a little bit to do with, giving them something GOOD to remember him by. because he knows that, at some point, he won’t be enough of HIMSELF to share that with the world anymore.

[linlincharl0tte]

misogyny in nico robin’s character

disclaimer: i don’t read op manga, just anime

i wanna be clear: we all know how misogynist is one piece and anime/manga in general. sadly, it’s something deeply ingrained in the media, and we all can recognize it in plots, designs, whatever. but nico robin case is especially awful

first of all i wanna point out how two different clichés about women are portrayed with nami and robin; nami is not a pick me, but a very much digerible femenine character. nami prefers to hide in battle, nami is sweet, and we could say she is a tsundere, and u know how incels loves tsunderes! (ofc this is not something against her, my beloved child)

but robin is out of tune in the sexist frame. robin is strange, wise, scheming, and even her facial attributes are uncommon in the same-face-syndrome (thanks god her big nose is remarkable enough so she could keep it post timeskip), and god knows she got severely mistreated because of this

robin, same as other secondary character like franky or brook, has no much prominence. there are some episodes where she is in the action but she doesn’t even appear (thinking about it quickly, it comes to my mind fishman island battle, for example), so it’s so easy to remember her big moments on screen; there are two prominent events where robin is on the focus, and this two events are an excuse to punish her for being the woman she is

moments in question are the part in enies lobby where spandam is dragging her (i think to the gates of justice or whatever) and her battle against black maria. in both occasions robin is tortured and her body is severely threatened in a way never seen in one piece, deeply sexual and disrespectful. violence is pretty common in this series, but not this one

we had several episodes of pandam pulling her hair, throwing her against the ground and threatening to chop her body, over and over. nobody can tell me this is not a fetish: i remember feeling so fucking disgusted watching this, even violated. several chapters after, the same feeling came to me when black maria fighted robin through bondage, and it become hard to watch when black maria holds and punchs her agains the floor. again, several character have been punched along the series, but not like this. black maria spanks robin while screaming how beautiful she is now she is covered in blood, and we know this is a typical statement in domestic violence perpetrators

the girls’ fight getting this disturbing is not casual: fictional sexist violence between women is just a form of projection. scenes where a woman is the one mistreating an equal are desirable by the male gaze because a woman being misogynist is a triumph and a show. when robin uses demonio fleur and becomes a devil to reduce and crush black maria’s body she is not taking revenge as a woman, but continuing the cycle of sexist violence

maybe this post contains mistakes because i’m not a native english speaker and i saw this chapters time ago, but for me it's very clear how robin being a rebel is punished in a sexist and horrendous way. to be honest i don’t think this is on purpose, but a great example of how ingrained misogyny in our society to take this as “normal” in fiction, and how easy we accept a strong girl being penalized

[anya-nya-nya]

Using their stand to stop you from running away.

Contains: Risotto, Formaggio, Prosciutto, Ghiacco

TW yandere behavior, abuse (both physical and mental), kidnapping, mention of Stockholm syndrome, non-con/dub-con, please contact me if you think I missed something!

Risotto

Risotto is a sadist. A cruel one. The fact that you keep trying to run away after All those things he did with your body is both surpassing and annoying. So if you're not impressed by these strikes on your body, or these marks after rough sex doesn't hurt that much then he would give you a better reason to be scared of.

Being able to manipulate iron in your blood, he would make you fall on your knees from sudden dizziness right at the moment when you would have thought the escape was near. Your trembling hand is still on the doorknob as you try your hardest to stop coughing blood while Risotto's just standing here, observing. Will not push things to the point where you would gain some fathal repercussions, but definitely will repeat this several times. Seeing you more like a pet, not like an equivalent partner, Risotto would love to repeat Pavlov's dogs experiment and make you feel sick and scared everytime you walk past the exit door even when he's not torturing you.

Well, you actually have a good potential, so there's already too many plans in his head about how else he can train you now. Would love to actually develop Stockholm syndrome in you. Like yeah, the way your brows twitched as a scare gleam in your eyes is turning him on, but Risotto still prefers to see more joy on your face when towering over you with his huge frame.

Formaggio

Nah cause there's no way you would escape Formaggio. He loves to torture you and make you feel powerless so every time he need to leave the house he would use his stand to lock you somewhere. If you're still bratty, it would be just a dirty bottle, if you're already learnt to be obedient then maybe he will reward you with something more fancy. Maybe with some dollhouse or something, so his little darling has some fun when he's at work.

Yet if you still would try to run away then he doesn't mind to use you as a way to de-stress. Would immobilize you with some pen or something then increase and decrease the pressure while teasing you. Have a fear of bugs? Would use it against you just to see how loud your high-pitched sobs would be. Formaggio actually can be pretty creative with his games so it's just a matter of time when he will break your mind or your limbs - or maybe all at once.

Prosciutto

Prosciutto is a busy man who wouldn't even try to start with something less cruel as a punishment. Of course if you only misbehave he would just berate you or be a little more rough with his grasp on your body, but as soon as you get caught on running away he will use his ability.

So come on, try to escape now when your legs are so weak and your whole body suddenly gets so old and slow. All this time he would sit near, teasing and commenting on every move, threatening you that even if you run away now he'll not unuse his ability back, making sure you're old enough to die in a few days. So the closer you're to the door, the older he will make you be, till you will stop or literally just fall on your knees from feeling too sick. And even after that he will not transform you back immediately, wanting for you to suffer a little bit more in this powerless state.

But don't you worry! With each attempt Prosciutto learns a little more about how to take care of you when you both will age up cause there's no way he would let you go till death will do you two apart.

Ghiacco

Ghiaccio is literally a psycho. You can try to throw a tantrum but he would immediately hit you with an even bigger tantrum, it's like fighting fire with fire. Or ice with ice in his case.

Would quickly get in rampage and just freeze EVERYTHING - the door, all windows, the fucking attic for some reason and all other places and holes you can escape through. Also will freeze your feet to the floor to the point you'll actually get scared you will lose both of your legs if he's not get hold of himself soon. And no, even if you will say sorry he will not stop, screaming and throwing everything everywhere while insulting you in every possible way. It would take some time and A LOT of begging before he will calm down and release you, but don't hope he's completely calmed down. There's literally no moment in Ghiaccio's life when he's completely chill and unbothered, so you'll listen about just what a cunt you're to the end of the day.

And don't hope that later this evening in the bed he will be just rough as usual - he's still mad and still sure this freezing was not enough as a punishment. And don't you dare disobey him again, he's not afraid to leave a few frostbites on your body again if it means he can finally position you and then use as he wants without being pushed away.

[smolguan]

jian yi have a severe case of pretty face syndrome

[newwavesylviaplath]

ranking people i've been told i look like cuz i'm a narcissist 😋😋 except it's only the positive ones !!!!!!!!

lily collins: by far the one i get the most like ive heard it from SEVERAL different people. i can see it but tbh its mainly cuz we have the same eyebrows. idk 7/10 cuz i think she's pretty but also it's not fun having both family members and strangers compare u to emily in paris 💀

isabelle adjani: this is like the one i personally see the most (like if it's a REALLY good day for me) and its totally an ego boost cuz she's gorgeous and possession (1981) is one of my fave movies. the first time i got it was from that starsbyface website in like 2022 and i posted it to my cf story and people were all like "no i totally see it" so 9/10 a win is a win

lana del rey: we don't look alike whatsoever. i mean don't get me wrong i wish i looked like her but we have virtually none of the same features. ive been compared to her in the honeymoon/lust for life era three times now (one of them being a friend the other two were ppl i had classes with) and like i know for the fact the only reason i get those comparisons is cuz we're both pale white chicks with long brown hair. still a 10/10 cuz even though i know it's not accurate it always makes me feel like hot shit.

april ludgate: NOT aubrey plaza. have been compared to her multiple times because we have the same voice (monotone hot girl syndrome) 5/10 cuz im not sure whether or not it's supposed to be a compliment

samantha robinson: i got this one time from a girl vaping in the bathroom at school and i hold it so close to my heart. again def a case of "pale skin/dark brown hair= camryn" but i don't even care cuz im so in love with elaine parks (and if u squint real hard from afar u actually can see it a little) 100/10

anyways i have serious trouble actually recognizing what i look like so this could all be complete bullshit (mutuals that have seen my face please gimme feedback in the comments i beg) but like whatever now u guys can picture one of them whenever u read my posts 💋💋

[mingos]

「 h.c. ー eyesight 」

currently writing (by which i mean i've been trying to write for months - but each time i go on hiatus, i end up putting it off) a meta about doflamngo's eyesight, how awful it is, and how he uses his devil fruit & knowledge of spiders to compensate. it's way longer than i expected, complete with lots of spider infodumping & example gifs from the anime. so to make sure it's not too long, i'm splitting it into two.

　ironic for a man who sees himself as superior to humans in every possible way, doflamngo's eyesight absolutely sucks.

　without his glasses, he's legally blind. he also has severe light sensitivity due to dry eye syndrome. they're fuzzy, scratchy, red, & direct sunlight or bright indoor lighting is excruciating to him.

when he was small he was of the opinion (or, his grandfather was of the opinion & he followed suit) that someone did something to his eyes. a vengeful slave, or an extended family member jealous of the first-born son & heir of the main branch of the family ー somebody. he's pretty sure people were killed over it.

but that wasn't the case: unfortunately, he was just born that way.

without his glasses, he can't recognize faces across a room. he relies on voice or, in rosinante's case, clothing color/vague outline to identify a person. my iteration of doflamngo does know sign, but depending on if you headcanon rosinante as signing as well, or only writing ー both are basically illegible to him.

　with glasses, his vision is great ー to a point. dry eye is a daily thing, and he started suffering from migraines when he was a teenager ー which can wreak havoc on his vision during flareups. the severity of both depends on the day and factors like stress, alcohol, & activities like too much reading, too much time outside in morning-afternoon, or too much fucking around on the sky path without proper wind protection (wear your aviator googles, you fuck), but it's maneagble when he actually cares to.

-

　this is his most heavily guarded secret, & something he's legitimately killed people over. because it's not just a secret insecurity he has about "weakness" and his how it conflicts with his pride & image of godlike perfection - it's a liability.

if the wrong person knew how fucked his eyes are, he'd be in trouble; it would be so easy for an enemy to just draw him into a bright area, snap his glasses off his face, & watch him fight through the disorientation. it's no guarantee that they would win, though. he's not totally helpless - honestly, it's probably the quickest way for him to throw every attack he has in your direction in a fit of humiliation-induced rage and have you cut into ribbons - but it's not a situation he wants to put himself in.

as a default, the only people aware of this secret are the original four executives, rosinante, and law (the way i see it, he was the closest thing the dq pirates had to a ship's doctor for those two years). the rest of the family might know about his vision being a bit fuzzy or occasional light sensitivity from dry eye or migraines (things he can't really hide if you live with him long enough) but that's the extent.

[quodekash]

ployphach phatchatorn thanawat. she's not in dangerous romance, but man is she pretty and gorgeous and perfect. let's all just think about her for a second.

okay now that that's out of the way, continuing episode 7 of dangerous romance

:( my boy

you silly little man kang, you need to know your limits

I know you wanted to be cool and to prove yourself by eating the spicy food (and also sailom definitely thought the raspy coughing sounds you were making from the spice were kinda sexy-sounding) but sometimes your own health and safety should be prioritised above impressing people

YES YES YES YES YES YES YESSSS

ITS GUYNAWA TIME BABEYYYYYY

AND HE IMMEDIATELY LOOKS RIGHT AT GUY BECAUSE OF COURSE THEYRE SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER (well, across the corner but its still technically next to him in my book)

my boy looks uncomfy

I can't tell if its bc of the bar setting or if its bc he's right next to his enemy/crush and his enemy/crush is staring directly at him in a way that says "I want to destroy you" but in a few different ways

HOLY FRICK JUST FRIKIN GRAB HIM AND TAKE HIM TO A RESTROOM AND SMOOCHY SMOOCH GRAB HIS FACE AND MAKE OUT

LMAO HE CALLED HIM NONG

I still dont know if they're going down the maxauto route or not, if its platonic or romantic, but either way their dynamic is incredible and I love it so much

👀

nO

LETS NOT

THAT IS A GROWN-ASS WOMAN

HE IS 17/18

AND HE IS ALSO QUEER AS HELL

SHE'S SO PRETTY BUT AAAAAAA NO

KANG

everybody say thank you kang

"thaaaank youuu kaaaaannngg"

GOUERBIGE4OUWBGSD

WAIT

OMG

OMG

OMG

GVIO3REHJDGPIOHVEJRPIOHJGPIOBEIRJHIOFGIOB9JERHIPO DJHOPFIGO[VBER[VFD[J

I think they're both aware of their feelings for each other but they're afraid of it/rejection and thus express those feelings through anger and I just can't wait for them to hate fuc

PFFT

WHAT IS IT WITH THIS EPISODE AND TELLING VERY-NOT-STRAIGHT CHARACTERS TO GO/BE STRAIGHT

AND "be straight with me" HONEY, HE CAN'T BE STRAIGHT AT ALL, AND HE CAN BE STRAIGHT THE LEAST WHEN HE'S WITH YOU

KISS

THEYRE CHALLENGING EACH OTHER

THEYRE SO FLIRTING

THEYRE SO IN LOVE

HOLY FRICK NUGGETS IM GOING INSANE

they cheersed

THEY CHEERSED THEIR CUPS

THEY DID THE CLINKY CLINK

I can't tell what he's thinking

it could be anywhere from "im so tired" to "he's so hot" to "man I wish I was that bottle rn" to just completely unimpressed

we all knew it would end like this

there was no other way it could've gone

(dear lord jesus please let them kiss in a moment)

HOLY FRICK

HOLY FRICK

I have such a severe case of side couple syndrome idk if you've noticed

im making strange noises

they're so important to me

ghibeisgdkhverbshdgbrehb

I feel like its important for everyone to know that im currently lying on my stomach looking at my laptop with my feet in the air kicking, but im also balancing my pillow on top of my feet because I do that sometimes, and im doing incredibly well at kicking my feet while not letting the pillow fall

GIVUERJDKBG

IM SMILING SO HARD

I LOVE THEM

oh he's recoiling

he has trauma we havent even begun to unpack yet

thinking back to the dog quote, where he implies his dad used harsh methods to "train" him, and he probably hit him a lot. the way he's yelling now, and the way kang is shrinking away in fear, keeping his voice low, avoiding eye contact, tells me this is bringing back a lot of repressed memories of pain and fear

that was... weirdly kind

I think he realised he had an audience, and he has a reputation of goodness to maintain for his election, and he needs to make sure he's still got a good eye from the public, and the public happens to contain kang's friends

but behind closed doors, the monster of pure anger that kang sees him as emerges from the shadows, leaking from all the dark corners of their mansion, and kang shuts himself off to not have to experience the horrors looming above him in the shape of his father

THEY ARE FRIENDS

CAPTAIN GRANDMA, LETS GOOOO

CAPITANO NONNA

YES okay so my thoughts were right

my thoughts were: the 'so we can go official now?' clip is gonna happen this episode

its gonna be kang's bravery in standing up for auto that makes sailom agree to let them be official

but I wasn't sure how that would happen this episode because I wasn't sure if there would be a soccer match this episode

BUT HERE IS PROOF so basically im amazing and im gonna be right and we should all appreciate me

...bRO

is this connection how hes gonna end up at kang's house to steal and commit crimes and perhaps shoot kang's dad @respectthepetty

WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE THAT

WHY DO THEY LOOK LIKE THAT

HOLY FRICK

THATS RIDICULOUS

HOW ARE THEY GONNA MOVE IN THOSE CLOTHES, THE GUYS ARE IN FULL ASS SUITS

MAN I DONT LIKE THIS

THAT SUCKS

I THOUGHT MAYBE THE CHEERLEADING WAS ACTUALLY KIND OF GOOD IN THIS SHOW AND NOT TOXIC AND NOT EXPLOITATIVE OF WOMEN BUT APPARENTLY I WAS WRONG

anyway

oh

well- I feel slightly better about it now

okay they do look lovely and pimfah loves it and doesnt like feel uncomfortable so thats good

I just. you would think they would wear something less fancy for a... soccer game

ME

felt that

my emotions are stored in my eyes bro, whatever it is, its coming out in tears

GROUP HUGSSS I love group hugs

ITS BEEN TWO HOURS AND I HAVE FIFTEEN MINUTES LEFT OF THE EPISODE, LETS SEE HOW LONG IT TAKES ME TO WATCH 15 MINUTES (find out in the next post because I once again talked too much)

[bosinclairz]

Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums

pretty please read warnings before going any further

warnings: very graphic depictions of violence, bo is his own warning, the love is not reciprocated, stockholm syndrome, abuse, allusions to past abuse, vomiting, misogynistic language, mentions of past rough sex/oral, dubious consent, non con (just in case), (presumed) blood as lube, rough sex, bo is not nice, blood and guts, fucking in front of a dead body, gutting, reader actively participates in the murders (mostly unwillingly), bloody sex, daddy kink

word count: 2k i think 3k if im feeling generous

tags: @languidcryptid @visceravalentines @blurrymango @possumteeths @sketchy-rosewitch

Two years, six months, and twenty three days. That’s how long you’ve been in Ambrose. The outside world has given up. Your missing posters falling from the light poles, crumpled up and left behind. You were assumed dead. Your case was closed, they didn’t have any hope.

But here you were. You didn’t know how long you’ve been out here, and you didn’t need to know. Each day molded together to form something despicable. Bruises blossomed on your skin, and you can never remember how you got them. Who gave them to you always remained the same;

Beauregard Sinclair.

Had he been fucking you, hitting you, or both, to leave those marks?

You begged for a hickey once, wanting passerby’s to know who you belonged to. Bo indulged you. It didn’t go away for weeks, and it scarred. He bit too hard, maybe on purpose. Maybe he was trying to rip out your throat, but you held onto him as you always did. Your savior.

You like to think he needs you as much as you need him. You’ve told yourself it so much while you were in his basement you believe it as fact. Something to focus on, keep you going. He did, he kept you going, he must love you.

Something like the Big Bad Wolf, he always bared his teeth when killing. The blood splatters against his face, staining the front of his clothes and you’re revolted to feel yourself becoming wet at the sight. He’s conditioned you, you can’t help it. Did little red riding hood always find the wolf so handsome? Maybe she was scared at first because of her feelings. You mustn’t find a beast beautiful.

Like a deer, you find yourself frozen in place as Bo’s hands wrap around a victim’s neck, squeezing the flesh between them. He gasped for air, his feet kicking uselessly, Sinclair had a good grip.

His eyes bulged, popping out of his skull as you hear a sick snap. Bo must’ve broken his neck. Bile rose in your throat as you watch the scene unfold.

The mechanic leaned back, panting heavily. You couldn’t hold it back as he picks up the eyeball, and crushes it in his fist. You throw up onto the pavement, the image replaying along with the sound.

“Like a cherry,” The wolf says, baring his teeth at you in what you assume is a grin.

He moves off the dead body, coming over to you to hold your hair back as you empty your stomach. A sweet gesture, and you almost forget the gore in his palms.

Patting your back as you dry heave, he hums a nursery rhyme you can’t quite remember. Mary had a little lamb, maybe, The words were unclear, but perhaps it was exhaustion setting in.

“Take me home,” you whisper, looking up at Bo.

“Sure thing, sweetheart.”

——————

You never truly forgot that night. Beauregard’s violence knew no bounds. You often found yourself cleaning up broken mugs, plates, blood, anything he left behind. A violent man, and your scars to prove it.

Tonight was no different.

You hadn’t been paying attention. Your mind started to wander as Bo scarfed down the food you had made. Pot roast. It took several hours, but at least Bo seems to enjoy it.

He must’ve asked you something, or said something to you. He slammed his fist on the table, causing you to jump and look at him.

“‘Fucks s’matter with you? Eat your fuckin’ food,” He snarled.

You open your mouth to respond, and Bo raises an eyebrow in warning. You’re quick to close your lips together, and pick up your fork. It must’ve been a rhetorical question, he didn’t want you to respond. You’re stupid like that, never knowing what he wants.

Your jaw aches as you bring a piece of meat to your lips, biting down softer than usual. His assault on your throat just a few hours earlier still seemed to bother you. It’s hard to eat, but you manage.

You try to hide every wince you make, hoping it’ll go unnoticed by your captor. Either he doesn’t see it, or he chooses not to say anything. You’re grateful no matter what. You didn’t want him to break your jaw.

“Gonna ask me how my day was?”

Your voice is hoarse. You must’ve forgotten to drink water today, or maybe it was Bo’s dick so far down your throat you couldn’t breathe. “How was your day, daddy?”

Bo speaks with his mouth full. It used to annoy you, but he’s worked that out of you. You’re just glad he enjoys the food. “Long. Had lotsa shit in the garage I hadda deal with. Tourists comin’ in soon. Les called ‘bout twenty minutes ago. Two people, he says.”

It’s a bit late for tourists, you think. Maybe they couldn’t wait, really had to hit the road or something. You used to be that person once. Always in a rush. Bo helped you learn to take your time.

“What should I do?” Sometimes Beauregard wants you to play the housewife role, most times. Other times, you’re just a coworker, maybe a sibling if he’s feeling it. He’s got so many storylines just for you, you’ve forgotten your real one.

“Think y’should wear that dress I like. Help ‘em out in the shop ‘til I get there. We’ll kill ‘em together.”

Together sounded so nice when he says it. You remember you love him, looking down at your plate with a smile.

Bo glances up at you, irritated with your silence. “‘Fuck you smilin’ ‘bout?”

“Nothing,” you respond, “I just love you.”

Bo makes a face of disgust, grumbling something you couldn’t quite hear before he stands. “Finish your plate then go to the shop.”

“Yes, daddy.”

——————

The bell rings as the glass door opens. A man and a woman enter, hand in hand. You close your magazine, smiling at the couple.

“Good evening! How can I help you folks?”

The woman comes up to you, letting the man look around the station. “Hi dear. We’re so sorry for comin’ in so late, we’re having a bit of car trouble. Husband says the coolants leaking, needs to get it fixed or something. Truth be told, I don’t know anything about cars.” She laughs softly, and you share it.

“I don’t know much about cars either. My husbands the mechanic, I just tend to the cash register,” you grin, thinking that in a perfect world, it would be just like this. Maybe he’d actually propose.

“Ain’t that sweet? You and your husband run the place together?”

“Yes, ma’am. He’s just using the facilities real quick, should be out soon.” He’s worn off on you. You can feel an accent starting to bloom. Ambrose is a strange place.

“Oh, no worries! I’m Janette, and this is my husband Charles,” Janette replies, gesturing to her husband, who gives you a small wave.

She asks for your name, and you stutter.

What was your name?

“Hey, Honey,” Bo says, coming up behind you, placing a hand on your lower back. You forgot that you were wearing the dress he liked.

You knew Janette felt something was off, and you smiled nervously up at Bo.

“This is my husband, Bo,” You say quickly, leaning back against his hand for comfort.

You didn’t know your name, but Bo still calls you his, and that’s all that matters.

“Evenin’, y’all,” Bo shakes Janette’s hand, and then Charles’. “Y’all lookin’ ‘round for anythin’ in particular?”

Charles tells Bo the issue, taking your husband out to his car to show him. Janette and you are left alone. The silence isn’t as nice as it used to be.

“Is everything alright, sweet pea?”

“What do you mean?” You question, fiddling with the end of your dress. She knows. She knows she knows she knows she-

“Are you ok? Do you need help?”

Help? Why would you need help? This is where you belonged. It’d kill Bo more than it’d kill you to leave this place. No. No you don’t need help.

“I’m alright,” You smile, digging your nails into your palms. Something in the back of your mind was screaming at you, telling you to get help. This was your opportunity, why would you pass it up?

A bloody Charles crashes through the front door, and you jolt. “JAN-! Jan he’s-! He’s crazy! We gotta get outta h-“

A shot gun blast, and you duck behind the counter. The kind woman screams in horror, sobs following quickly.

“Charles! No, god-!”

You hear crunching glass, and you assume it’s Bo. And with Jan’s horrified screech, you’re correct.

“Come on out, baby.” His tone is sickly sweet, and you peak your head over the counter. He’s covering her mouth with one hand, the other keeping her hands behind her back.

You wished she wouldn’t look at you like that.

“You wanna finish her off?”

She was so nice to you. You don’t want to kill her. You’re so scared, you can’t stop yourself from shaking.

“I wanna go home, daddy.”

His face twitches, “Kill her first, then we can go home.”

“Promise?”

Bo’s getting angry, you can tell. Maybe you shouldn’t have talked so much. You’d pay for that later. He takes a deep breath, “I promise, baby. Come over here.”

You stand, slowly making your way to them. Stop looking at me like that-. Stopping once you’re just a few inches in front of the pair, you look down to Bo.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Take that shard of glass right there,” Bo nods his head to it. It’s a big piece, and you can see where this is going. “Cut the cunt open.”

The woman thrashes, screaming into Bo’s palm as you reach for the glass. He manages to keep her in place, shushing her. It feels heavy in your hand, or maybe that’s the nausea coming in. This was always the hardest part.

You crouch down, pushing the sharp edge against her stomach. You’re so fucking terrified, maybe more than her. Bo’s saying something, you realize. He’s encouraging you.

“Cmon baby, cmon. Fuckin’ gut the bitch, baby.”

You pull your hand back and bring it down hard, stabbing Janette in the stomach. Bo’s laughing as blood starts to cover your hand. You twist, and she chokes. Pulling the knife to the side, you start to cut her open, a flash of a smile appearing on your face. All for him.

Her small intestine slips out, and you gag, pulling your hand back and turning your head to the side. The wet squelch of it hitting the floor was enough to make you gag again, vomit rising into your mouth.

It’s quiet. She’s on the ground now, her back soaking up the blood that poured. Bo’s looking at you, a twisted smile on his face as you start to sob.

“Can we go home now?”

“Aw, baby,” he raises a hand, and you flinch on reflex as he starts to pet your hair. “You can’t quit half way. I said gut her.”

You sniffle, looking at him in confusion. How the fuck were you supposed to gut her? You didn’t even know how. His face changes, he’s mad again. You didn’t even say anything this time.

He pulls his hand back, and slaps you hard. “You need me to show you how t’fuckin’ do it? Gotta do everythin’ my fuckin’ self. Goddamn useless is what you are, girl. You’re almost fuckin’ done, just take out her insides, you dumb bitch. Like this.” Bo takes your hands, and shoves them inside the woman’s stomach.

It’s wet and slimy, and you puke, choking on tears as he uses your hands to scoop out the viscera. You can’t breathe, between sobbing and vomiting. There’s blood everywhere, all over your hands and that dress Bo likes. Why does he like this dress again?

Your brain is swimming, you can’t think. You start to lean into Bo, who takes it differently than you about to pass out. You can feel the intestines moving beneath your fingers, and you dry heave. They still squirm, you remember, they’re like worms.

Black starts to fill your eyes before a harsh slap brings you back.

“I’m tired, daddy.”

“That’s shock talkin’. Keep them eyes open, girl.” Bo’s bloody hand squeezes yours, and you can’t tell what’s warmer, the body, or his hand. Both, maybe. Your hands are still inside her.

She’s empty now, you think. You don’t feel anything else, you can’t even feel your hands, can’t feel his. You push yourself away from the body, all the way back to the counter, a blood trail following you. Are you bleeding?

He’s put the large intestine on your dress, that’s where the bloods coming from. Your shaking hands throw it off you, wincing at the wet noise of it hitting the ground as Bo laughs.

“What? Don’t like my gift?”

You look at him, fear in your eyes again. Head to toe, he’s covered in blood. Looks like he played in blood rain. Looks like a wolf, standing over a sheep.

“I wanna g-go home. I do-on’t feel good,” you stutter out, hugging your knees to your chest. Bo hums, tilting his head at you. He smiles the wrong way, it’s upside down. That’s not right. His face is backwards, sideways. He’s above you, and you can’t see.

Another slap. You’re so damn tired, can’t he see that? You just want to sleep. You did what he asked, why can’t he let you sleep?

Easy access. That’s why Bo likes this dress. Easy access.

His rough hands pulled your dress up, revealing blood soaked panties. You couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t talk. Couldn’t tell him no. You were too tired for this, couldn’t he wait?

The answer is him pulling down your underwear. No, he couldn’t wait. You’re wet, but you think that’s just the blood.

It’s not, or maybe it is, with how easily two of his fingers slip inside you, curling to find that spot you know only he can hit. You hope it’s not blood.

You whimper, your hand coming up to grip his wrist. Did you want more, or did you want him to stop? Either way, it doesn’t matter. It never does, this is always for him.

“Y’feelin’ better now, huh, baby?”

“Daddy…” You whine, rolling your hips into his hand as he adds another finger. His lips ghost your neck, “Yeah…, that’s right, princess. Daddy’s here, Daddy’s gotcha.”

You were close, and you knew he felt it too. Bo knows all your tells by now. He’d never give you something without you begging for it first, so it’s no shock he removes his fingers from you, but you whine anyway.

You hear him unzip his blood-soaked jeans, pulling them down enough to free his cock. He’s hard, he’s always hard. You’re wearing the dress he likes, covered in blood. You’re not all there in the current moment, and he loves it.

He slides his dick through your folds, lubing himself before pushing into you without warning. The stretch hurts, it always does. You’re so fucking tired, but the pain keeps you from falling asleep.

You’re on the edge of sleep, so close to falling, but he keeps tugging you back with each thrust.

He kisses you, and you taste iron. Your blood, or his? The kiss is bruising, and you struggle to kiss back. Always taking, and you’re always giving. Perfect for each other, made for each other.

“I love you,” he lies. It sounds so real, you believe it. You know he loves you, you’ve always known. Tears prick your eyes, and your lips twist up in a smile.

“I love you too,” you moan, gripping the fabric of his shirt. He thinks you’re a liar, but you’re squeezing him so tight. You’ve always been confusing like that, lying to him so pretty as you clench around him. Some goddamn slut you are.

His pace picks up, your head knocking against the counter. Bo doesn’t care, he’ll hurt you worse than anything else can. No one and nothing hurts like he can.

“You gonna cum?”

You nod, whimpering. It’s too much, it always has been. Maybe it’s shock, but you feel too much of everything right now. You can’t handle it, but Bo’s always there. He’ll help.

“Go on, girl. You deserve it. You’ve done so good,” the praise is sick, and he doesn’t stop as you cum, your back arching off the bloody ground.

Bo’s close behind, fucking into you harder, throwing you harshly into overstimulation. It hurts, he’s getting deeper and now you’re sure the blood is yours. He cums with a strangled groan, his head falling forward into the crook of your neck. He nips at the flesh there, no softness without a twinge of pain.

“I love you,” you repeat, submitting yourself to exhaustion.

His faces twitches again, “I love you too, girl.”