#seven years ago i was sad and confused about feeling like this

[queens-of-peace]

i am having a terrible goddamn time right now and by god i’m going to keep being so brave about it

[suuuupernovaaa]

kavuk si

kavuk si [English] vin. betray

Neteyam has chosen a woman, and you know it isn’t you.

1,471 words

Fishing was supposed to clear my mind and calm my nerves, but I was throwing my spear too forcefully, and it was making the fish almost unusable. Plus, I was missing a lot, and that was only serving to further fuel my anger and frustration.

“It’s just a rumor,” my sister said again as I huffed and pulled my spear from the sandy riverbed.

“It is not,” I replied. “His own mother is said to have confirmed it. He has chosen.”

Even without looking at her, I knew Kawti was rolling her eyes behind me. It had been my wish to come fishing alone, but there wasn’t much I had truly done alone since Kawti was born 13 years ago. Despite our seven year age difference, she was my best friend, and I was usually happy to have her along.

Just - not today. All morning, all anyone at home could talk about was how the eldest son of Toruk Makto was finally going to choose a woman, and he was going to make his declaration soon. I knew, in my heart, that Neteyam would have told me already if I was his choice. Just last night we had gone hunting together, and I had eaten the evening meal with his family - he had plenty of opportunity to tell me himself.

Even though we hadn’t exactly expressed how we’d felt, I thought I had been pretty clear in my affections and desires, and I’d thought Neteyam was just shy. Now I felt like a fool. He had not stolen any kisses, or any other affections, and I had been leading myself on. He simply wasn’t interested.

“Come, Y/N. Mom will be expecting us back soon.” Kawti hopped down from her seat atop a tree branch, and extended her small hand to mine.

I grabbed my meager bag of mangled fish, and followed her back to Home Tree.

--

When the rest of my family went to dinner, I stayed back. I wasn’t hungry, in fact I was feeling a little ill, and really did need a little bit of time alone. 

Kawti was annoyed, but her optimism was childish. Not only did she think it was just a rumor, but she claimed to be sure Neteyam was ‘completely in love’ with me.

As if she knew anything about love. She was just a kid.

I could only sit in our little alcove of Home Tree for so long before becoming restless. I was feeling ridiculous, too. If Neteyam did not want me, and had chosen another, then I would have to grow up and move on. There were many fine men in our village, and I knew one would choose me - and I would choose them in return.

I could only barely lie to myself, as dread gripped my chest at the thought of mating with anyone else. So I stood up, trying to shake the thoughts from my head, and walked outside. It was quiet, as most were gathered for the evening meal, and the quietness left me too much to my dark, depressing thoughts.

Without direction, I began walking towards the forest.

“Y/N!” a familiar voice called, and I hesitated before turning.

“Teyam,” I said through gritted teeth. I looked over my shoulder to see him jogging to catch up, a wooden bowl full of food in his hands.

He looked handsome, I thought before I could stop myself. Neteyam always looked handsome, but there was something different... he was wearing a large necklace made of leather that was reserved for special occasions, and his face was painted as if for battle or a ceremony.

“Your mother said you were ill. I brought you this.” He extended it to me, and something about the gesture turned my sadness to rage.

He could choose another woman, ask her to be his mate, and still pretend to be concerned about me? To bring me food? How dare he!

“Bah!” I said, waving my hand. “Leave me, Neteyam.”

He furrowed his brow in confusion and tilted his head to the side, his ears flicking back and forth. “Do you need the healer?”

“No. I need to be alone.” I stepped back, but he stepped forward to follow.

“I need to talk to you,” he said, his voice firm, and extended his hand to me.

I looked at him skeptically, tilting my head to the side, and sighed. It had always been hard to stay mad at Neteyam, and the look on his face was very serious.

I put my hand into his, noting how much larger his was, and we went back into my family’s alcove in Home Tree together.

Neteyam did not let go of my hand when we stepped inside, and I tried to savor it. If he was to belong to someone else soon, this might be the last time we were ever truly alone.

“Well, what do you need to talk about?” I asked, trying not to let my voice waiver. “My family will be back soon.”

This was not even close to the truth, and Neteyam knew it. My mother could talk for hours every night, and my sister was usually exhausted by the time they returned from their socializing. It would be at least an hour before they returned.

Neteyam looked everywhere in our modest home but at me, and I squeezed his hand. “Teyam, spit it out!”

“Damn, you don’t make it easy, Y/N!” he replied in a huff, and my eyes widened in surprise.

“Sorry,” I said, unsure of what I was apologizing for. He was the one who should have been apologizing to me.

Why had we gone on all those rides together? Hunted together? Taken meals together, spent time with each other’s families, if he had not intended to be mine?

“You are mad at me,” he said quietly, and I finally allowed myself to look into his eyes.

“Yes,” I said in a near-whisper. “I am.”

“Why?”

I took my hand from his and crossed my arms over my chest. “They are saying.. they are saying you have chosen a woman. Everyone is to celebrate the mating of the Chief’s son.”

His eyebrows rose up and his shoulders fell. “Well... this is true.”

I nodded, stepping away from him. “Who is she? Ni’awtu? She’s a fine hunter. Or... Petani? She has a fine skill on the loom, and would make a good mate.” I blinked hard to stop the tears rushing into my eyes.

I jumped with surprise when Neteyam laughed so hard that he threw his head back. “You are joking!” he exclaimed.

“I am not! Tell me who it is!”

With considerable effort, Neteyam stopped laughing and closed the gap between us again. He reached out, gripping my upper arms with his hands, and leaned in close.

“You are mad because you are jealous, but you are jealous of yourself, Y/N. Ni’awfu may be a fine hunter, and Petani weaves very well on the loom, but I do not love them. I do not love anyone else.”

Blinking hard, it took me a few moments to understand what Neteyam was saying to me. I stood, slack jawed and stunned, forcing him to continue speaking.

“I wish to ask you to be my mate before Ewya, to spend your life with me, to mother my children, Y/N.”

I took in a long, deep breath. My hands were shaking and the tears had filled my eyes, I could no longer hold them back. It was so hard to find any appropriate response. I had spent years pining over Neteyam, and all day today sure that my chance was gone and I was going to have to watch him with someone else - which would have been a fate worse than death.

“Neteyam, I... of course, yes. I, I have always...” I stuttered and stammered as tears fell down my face.

Graciously, Neteyam stopped our needs for words by leaning down and pressing his soft lips to mine in a kiss I felt as if I had waited so long for.

My body felt on fire instantly, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into him, deepening the kiss.

It felt like a long time before we pulled apart, both smiling like a couple of idiots.

“You are mine, Y/N,” Neteyam whispered, pressing his forehead to mine. “How could you have thought I would choose anyone else? I have always been yours.”

Tears spilled freely now, and I put my hands on either side of his face. “I feel foolish. I have always been yours, Neteyam.”

He hugged me tightly, pulling my body completely flush with mine, and I breathed him in deeply.

“Always.”

[grrrfrogs]

she's not me.

homelander x supereader

warnings - mentions of death, stalking, angst

(covid doesn't exist in this universe)

based off of the song "she's not me" by lana del ray.

your pov:

you and homelander were the most popular superhero couple. atleast, you guys were 2 years ago.

2 years ago, you and homelander went on a mission, involving a heavily armed group and 3 supes that Vought called super terrorists, when it came down to fighting the last one, he threw you against the wall. as he walked towards you, you attempted to get up and fight him back.

you felt so weak from his throw but you knew you had to fight back, you didn't know where homelander was. as you finally gain back consciousness, the supe terrorist throwing what looked like lightning at you, groaning as you collapsed.

all you saw was the guy walking over to you and touched your body sending lightning through your entire body. electrocuting you to death.

atleast, that's what everyone else thought.

you woke up in some lab, you felt sore and weak, almost like you've just gone through hell and back. you groaned as you woke up from your coma, pulling off the tubes that were connected to your body.

"hello?"

you shouted out, you couldn't recognize the place you were in nor could you sense it being anywhere you or someone you know could have been.

you see a nurse walk towards your room, gasping at the sight before she shouts for someones name you couldn't recognize to come look.

you felt as some circus animal that kids wouldn't help but stare at, it made you feel nervous and self conscious, you were in the seven! what the fuck are you doing here.

you heard the doors open to where you back up, seeing two armed guards behind what looks like, an old nurse, not old enough to where she's brittle, but maybe im her late 60s. tilting your head at the sight.

"where the fuck am i."

you shout roughly, you narrowed your eyes at them, it was some Vought workers.. they asked you to sit down and if you cooperated, you would be let out in a month. nodding as all you wanted was to go back to your fiance, homelander.

"you got electrocuted to death, atleast that's what we thought. we were going to pull your plug today."

you were shocked, maybe that was an understatement but it was true. you.. died? that's impossible. Y/N doesn't die.

"how long was i out?"

you ask nervously, looking at the nurse with almost sad eyes, your mouth gaped open slightly. you saw the nurse look at the guards then back down to her hands, giving a small sigh.

"a year and a half. it's 2020 now.."

she said nervously. you began shaking your head, confused on how you could be out for so long. you stared back up at the nurse before mouthing "no" towards her, you were in deep denial.

homelanders pov:

when he saw your limp body fall, your veins becoming purple as your skin looked translucent. he looked at the supe terrorist, immediately lasering his eyes out, before walking over and ripping his body in half.

he picked up your limp body before flying away as quick as possible, flying to a Vought medical facility that was an hour away since it was the best hospital for superhero's. he stayed by you for months, always visiting you until when he heard the doctors whisper to themselves saying that you won't make it, he thought to himself that he better get unattached to you.

and so he stopped showing up, he stopped waiting for you.

the loss of you and translucent was definitely hard for not only Vought but for the seven, that was until he met storm front. every time he was around her he got reminded of the person who killed you, but he couldn't help but gain feelings for her.

he felt disgusting for it, for liking someone while you were in a coma, especially with someone's powers that caused it. but he tried disassociating powers from person, and that's when they started dating.

your pov:

you of course, didn't know about this. you thought that homelander didn't know where you were and Vought was hiding you from him, but you felt awkward asking, worried that maybe, there is a reason you weren't coming and seeing.

a week went by and you've been training on your strength, regaining your superpowers and this time, somehow in someway, they felt stronger.

you got to have access to some of the media, not really the news but that was only because the nurses knew you would freak out if you saw homelander with someone.

so for a month straight, you regained muscle, strength, and your powers. all you wanted was to see homelander so he could see how strong you were for fighting to wake up from that stupid coma, how strong you were for getting back your strength.

you didn't know how you recovered so fast, you assumed that the doctors were putting in small amounts of compound v in your blood stream.

homelanders pov:

he didn't know you recovered, in actuality he thought you died after a month of him not visiting. he would wake up from nightmares seeing you die over and over again, he would see you standing and staring at him in everywhere he went.

you haunted him.

when he would kiss storm front or when they would have sex, he would be visioning it was you under him, sometimes he would be shocked because it was your lifeless body or sometimes it was just you being alive.

he finally started to get the terrors away from him, he started focusing more on work and storm front, all of this was going well until he saw you in downtown NY. he stared freaking out again, you looked real this time. he blinked and you disappeared.

"fuck."

he muttered under his breath.

your pov:

it came to your release day, you were so deeply excited. they told you about some albums that were dropped and how they were going to give you some new clothes, what you were in right now was the replica of your super hero suit.

"will i see homelander?"

you asked awkwardly, giving a small smile. the excitement building up as you waited for their response.

"maybe."

they say nervously, not wanting to say no to you since you wouldn't understand why. "he is your fiance! why wouldn't you be able to see him." you thought to yourself.

you nodded at their response, feeling upset at the awkward maybe they gave you. it felt like they were hiding something from you, but you didn't know why or what it was.

as you sat in the back seat of the black car, you felt your excitement build up as you started seeing the tall buildings. you felt at home.

they dropped you off at time square where you excitedly smiled, this was the first time you were back at home after your coma.

it was all going well until you saw the big screen of homelander and stormfront, at first you were excited! seeing your fiance on television, but all of that went away, turning into confusion and anger when you saw them kiss.

"what the.. fuck..?!"

you shouted, you watched as she held homelanders hand as he smiled at her, they talked about their love life and you felt sick. utterly sick.

you had no one to show you around but you could hear somehow, through the honking, the talking, and the cars driving. you heard homelanders voice. you ran as fast as you could over to the set.

you felt adrenaline pumping through your veins, you ran as fast as you could, even shoving people down when they came in your way.

the pit in your stomach only deepening when the voices became louder, you walked up to set even when the producers told you to get off because they were filming, not realizing you were THE y/n.

you were about 20 feet away from them but you saw clear view of homelander, he looked.. inlove. but with her. you felt sick as your mouth dropped.

homelanders pov:

he had an interview with storm front today, they got to talk about their love for eachother and he felt happy!

he felt at peace, storm front comforted him about how you were dead, and that she was here for him.

when they got on set, storm front would kiss his cheek noticing your nervousness about me, they even fucked in his trailer 20 minutes before getting interviewed.

everything was going well, he kissed her on live TV he couldn't think on how anything could go wrong, he forgot about you for a minute, the first time in a year and a half.

all of that went away when he smelled your familiar smell, he felt his heart pumping as it began to get closer and closer, he started drifting off, trying to figure out where it was coming from.

"homelander?"

storm front said to him, looking at him confused as he finally gained consciousness, apologizing about him drifting off, making an excuse about saying he thought he heard someone in trouble.

your smell still lingered in his nose, getting closer and closer until.. you were right infront of him. he felt a pit in his stomach, he started blinking, trying to see if it was just a illusion or if it was you.

"Y/N..?"

he gasped out.

alright even if people don't want it IM MAKING A PART TWO! i really hope u guys enjoyed this because i def did writing this.

also i've been NEEDING homelander angst especially something that makes my heart hurt a little ;3

[mariclerc]

Can you do a fic where the reader works for Ferrari and has been friends with Charles for a long time, and recently Charles and the reader have a friends with benefits thing going on, but the reader is actually in love with him. Then when Lewis moves to Ferrari, he takes an interest in the reader, the reader decides to give him a shot and stops the situationship with Charles and he realises he doesn't want to let her go.

thank you for this request, this was a little bit hard to make because i was looking at how to develop the story but I really liked how it came out, I hope you like it!

Confusions at work | cl16 & lh44

Summary: when you have feelings for your situationship but a new person gets in the middle of it. Warnings: a little angst, confused reader, and fluff at the end.

The garage bustles with mechanics working on the gleaming red cars. You lean over the table to see the monitor with the different strategies for the first practice session of the day. Charles walks towards you, a playful glint in his eyes.

“Looking stunning with that frowned face y/n... As always.”

You roll your eyes playfully, a smile tugging at your lips. You have known Charles since his great season in Formula 2 back in 2017, by then you were already working as an internal race engineer in the Haas team, you were practically like Sheldon from the big bang theory - a brainiac. Upon meeting Charles there was an instant connection, it was as if you had always known each other, eventually, you were promoted from Haas to Ferrari in 2019, just the same year that Charles was promoted to the red team too, and ever since then the easy camaraderie between you has turned into something more... A secret, friends-with-benefits situation that both sets your heart ablaze and tears it in two.

“Yeah, yeah, save it for the cameras, Perceval. You know perfectly well I can take you down with a bad strategy any day.” you chuckled.

Charles feigns offense, but his laughter betrays him. You share a comfortable silence, a familiarity that speaks volumes. The moment is shattered by the arrival of Lewis Hamilton, the new star driver at Ferrari. Arriving at that first meeting at Maranello his gaze settles on you, a flicker of interest igniting in his eyes. Fred had offered you a change of position with Adami to be Lewis' race engineer, but the comfort and confidence you already had working with Charles made you decline the offer, likewise, working with a seven-time world champion is a privilege, since you can learn a lot from him, but you and Charles had practically grown up together at Ferrari and out of loyalty to him you stayed with him.

-

The following weeks are a whirlwind. Lewis tries to get close to you, and as a result, you end up having some dates and night-outs with him. He is charismatic, attentive, you dare to say that he's a bit similar to Charles in so many ways since both of them treat you with such care and kindness. You find yourself drawn to his confidence and outgoing demeanor, a stark contrast to Charles' usual genuine and soft care towards you. Guilt gnaws at you, but the thrill of something new is intoxicating... And with a little sadness in your heart, you decide to end things with Charles... At least for a little while you try to understand what your heart wants.

One night you went to Charles' apartment, and you entered with the extra key that he had given you a long time ago. Charles' apartment is quiet, a stark contrast to the usual post-race buzz. You stand awkwardly in the living room, avoiding his gaze.

You gulped. “Charles... I think we need to talk.”

He looks up, a frown creasing his forehead. The air crackles with unspoken emotions. “Y/n what's wrong sweetie? Did I do something wrong?”

You take a deep breath. “It's about this.” you sigh. “This thing between us... It can go anymore.”

Silence hangs heavy in the air, Charles' frown deepens, his eyes searching yours. “Is it Lewis? Is this about him?” he asked.

The truth hangs on your tongue, a bitter pill to swallow. “Maybe, maybe not... The point is, things need to change... We need to take a break... At least for a little while.”

Charles stands abruptly, his frustration palpable. “Just like that? We throw away everything because of... what? Because some shiny new toy showed up?” His words sting, but there's a flicker of something else in his eyes - a vulnerability you haven't seen before.

“It's not that simple, Charles. You know it's... Complicated.”

Tears well up in your eyes, this isn't how you imagined this conversation going. You practically run out of Charles' apartment, frustrated because you don't know if you did the right thing and at the same time you don't know if being with Lewis is the same as being with Charles... Because at the end of the day, he somehow manages to see through you and understand you on a level that Lewis cannot.

-

Days turn into weeks, you and Charles avoid each other. The only words that come out of your mouth are simply a "hello" and a "see you later", occasionally long sentences when you're giving him directions during the race or at the team debrief, the air is thick with unspoken tension. The joy has gone out of working at Ferrari... You see the way Lewis looks at you, but a hollow ache fills your chest. At night you constantly think about what you would be doing with Charles at that exact moment, perhaps cuddling up watching a movie, or a normal date at his house eating pizza, wearing matching socks and playing Mario kart... And even though Lewis takes you to glamorous galas, lavish dinners and so on, you don't complain about it, on the contrary, you're grateful for it, but, there's nothing like that instant connection with Charles.

One afternoon, Charles corners you near his car. His eyes are stormy, a mix of anger and something else you can't decipher.

You hear him sigh. “I miss you y/n... Like hell.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut. You miss him too, the easy banter, the way he understood you without words, the way his eyes spark every single time he was next to you.

“Charles... I...” you say shyly but he cuts you off, his voice rough.

“Don't... Don't tell me you miss Lewis...because if you do, I'll understand. But at least know this – this thing we have, it's real, at least for me. It's more than just crazy strategies and stolen kisses after victories. Maybe I haven't said it, haven't shown it the way you deserve, but I care about you, y/n... A lot.”

His confession hangs in the air, raw and vulnerable, you've never seen him that way. You can see the years of unspoken feelings bubbling to the surface. Tears prick your eyes, blurring the image of Charles in front of you.

A million things fight for dominance in your mind: the thrill of the new with Lewis, the comfortable companionship with Charles, the undeniable spark you share with him.

Taking a shaky breath, you meet his gaze.

”Charles, I... I don't know what I want... I mean, Lewis is exciting, a new challenge. But with you... it's different, it's easy, familiar, it's warm. But it's also... frustrating you know? You never give anything away, never let anyone in all the way.”

A flicker of pain crosses Charles' features. He reaches out, hesitantly placing a hand on your arm. “I'm scared y/n... Scared of losing you, scared of letting myself feel something this real. But if you're willing to take a chance, maybe, just maybe, we can figure this out together.” he says softly.

The silence stretches, thick with unspoken emotions. You look into Charles' eyes, searching for a glimpse of the future you both could have. The weight of the decision settles on your shoulders. You glance around the garage, the familiar red of the Ferraris a stark contrast to the turmoil within you. Lewis' confident smile flashes in your mind, but it's quickly replaced by the image of Charles' vulnerability, a side you've never seen before.

Taking a deep breath, you meet Charles' gaze, a flicker of determination replacing your earlier uncertainty.

“Okay Charles, let's figure this out... Together.” you say softly.

A slow smile spreads across Charles' face, relief washing over him. He pulls you into a tight embrace, the scent of his familiar cologne grounding you, it feels like coming home.

“Thank you, y/n. Thank you for taking a chance on us.” he whispers in your ear.

You pull back slightly, a playful glint returning to your eyes. “Just don't expect me to lose in the strategy game anytime soon, Leclerc... This isn't over yet.”

Charles throws his head back and laughs, the tension finally breaking. He ruffles your hair affectionately.

“I wouldn't have it any other way amour... Wouldn't have it any other way.” he smiles. (love)

-

The garage and the pit wall is mostly deserted, the day's work winding down. You're packing up some of your things when Lewis approaches, a determined look in his eyes.

“Hey, y/n! Can I talk to you?” he asked with a friendly smile on his face.

You hesitate, then nod, gesturing towards a quiet corner. Lewis leans against a wall, his voice gets a little serious.

“I saw you and Charles... And I get it now, there's something there, a history I can't compete with.” There's a hint of disappointment in his voice, but mostly understanding.

“Lewis, I... I'm really sorry. Things just moved too fast too soon, and I realized what I was risking.” you say softly but Lewis offers a shy smile.

“No need to apologize, but follow your heart, y/n! That's all any of us can do... Besides, maybe next time on the track, I can finally knock your team off that top spot in the strategy battle.”

A genuine smile graces your lips. “Don't count on it, Hamilton. But hey, maybe we can grab a coffee sometime and hash out some friendly competition strategies. No promises on who'll win, though.”

Lewis chuckles, the tension dissipating. He extends his hand for a handshake. “Deal! And good luck with Charles. He's a lucky guy!”

You shake his hand, a newfound sense of clarity settling within you, he gives you a warm smile and a friendly hug. As Lewis walks away, you glance towards Charles, who's watching the exchange with a hint of possessiveness in his eyes. You catch his gaze and he winks at you, a silent promise hanging between you.

He walks towards you with a little smile on his face and takes you in his arms.

“So... How about we get out of here? I could use a real shower you know?” you say and Charles' smile widens, genuine relief washing over his features.

“Sounds like a plan. My place, or yours?” he asks softly.

The air hangs heavy with unspoken possibilities. You know this is a turning point in your relationship, a chance to rebuild something stronger.

“Your place only if you promise to make that killer pasta dish you always brag about.” you say teasingly.

Charles lets out a mock groan, but there's a twinkle in his eye. “Fine, fine. But you have to help me chop the vegetables! No bystanders in my kitchen, okay?” You laugh, the tension finally breaking. As you finally grab all of your things, Charles slings his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. “Come on, sweetcheeks. Let's get out of here before someone challenges me to another mario kart race.” he smiles softly. “You know I can't resist a good challenge, especially when you're involved.”

You nudge him playfully, a warm feeling blossoming in your chest.

”Oh, I'm sure you can handle it, Leclerc. But just you wait, next time I'm schooling you.”

Together you walk out of the garage, the setting sun casting an orange glow across the racetrack. The future is uncertain, but with a newfound commitment to each other, you're ready to face it head-on. You and Charles head towards his car, the promise of a home-cooked meal and a chance to reconnect hanging heavy in the air.

[just-my-latest-hyperfixation]

A promise kept

Written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles, day 8

Prompt: Idiots to lovers

Rated: G

Tags: Childhood friends to lovers; Mistaken identity; Fluff; Modern AU if you squint

CW: none

Notes: @house-of-the-moving-image and I came up with this while bouncing ideas for another drabble and fell instantly in love with the idea. Be sure to also check out the precious art they made!!!

The bars of the jungle gym creak but Steve doesn’t lift his face from his hunched knees.

“Hey, big boy, don't cry.” 

“‘m not crying. Go away!”

This is ridiculous. He's almost eight, and eight-year-old boys don't cry. Not even if their only friend in the whole world just told them they're moving away to live with their uncle. 

They don't even know each other’s names. Names don't matter when you're eight and you're both at the park and looking for someone to play with. 

So Steve is big boy. 

And his friend … well, Steve mostly calls him his dragon.

It's because of this game they have. Steve is a king and the other boy his dragon and the jungle gym their castle, and every day, they have a new adventure. 

Except now, there won't be any more adventures.

“Oh? But how am I supposed to give you this?” 

Steve lifts his head, goes a bit cross-eyed at the flower that's hovering right in front of his face. 

“What would I want with that?” he snaps. “Flowers are for girls.” 

His dragon chuckles as he joins him on his perch. The playground stretches out under them. Their kingdom. 

“But this isn't just any flower. It's magical.” 

Steve wrinkles his nose. “Magical?” 

“Yup!” His friend's face breaks into a grin, two teeth short. “As long as you keep it, I'll always make my way back to you. It may take a while, but I'll find you eventually.” 

“Promise?” Steve murmurs. There's a lump in his throat and it comes out small and quiet.

“I promise.” The other boy winks and tugs the flower behind his ear. “That I'll find you, and that I'll always be your dragon. And now, my king … how about one final adventure?” 

*

The colors of the jungle gym are faded with age. Like the pressed flower in its frame on his bedroom wall. 

“Oh hey, Steve!” 

Steve looks up from the book in his lap to find a familiar someone next to their picnic blanket.

“Eddie, hi!” He smiles, even as his stomach drops. “I … what are you doing here?” 

“Steve?” Will asks, ogling Eddie's tattoos and wild hair with large eyes. “Who's this?” 

“Oh, erm …” Steve runs an awkward hand through his hair. “My friend Eddie. He just moved here. Eddie, this is Will and El, the kids I babysit?” 

“Of course,” Eddie dips into a bow, which makes the twins giggle. “Steve has told me all about you.” 

“Do you want to sit with us?” El asks. “Steve is reading the How to train your dragon books to us.” 

“Fuck yeah, I love dragons!” Eddie cheers. Only he doesn’t sit on the blanket like a normal person - he perches himself on the steps of the jungle gym and hisses, pulling a silly face and mimicking claws with his hands. El whoops and claps while Will smiles shyly. Steve needs to swallow against the memories that threaten to crawl up his throat. 

*

“Was it alright to invite Eddie?” El asks. They've finished reading for the day and she helped Steve get snow cones. “You said he's your friend, but you seem sad when you look at him.”

Steve sighs.

“It's okay,” he says, because how do you explain this to a seven-year-old? 

How do you explain I only met him a few weeks ago but I really like him and it confuses me because it seems like I've known him forever because he reminds me so much of someone I used to know and I'm scared because it feels like I'm betraying that person even though I'm sure they've long forgotten about me?

Will is up on the jungle gym when they round the corner, beaming from ear to ear and talking animatedly with Eddie, who is gesturing up at him from the ground. 

“El!” he calls out when he spots his sister. She smiles and clambers up to join him, handing over one of the dripping snow cones. “Eddie has the best ideas. He just told me about this game he used to play as a kid. Did you know the jungle gym could be a castle and we could be kings and dragons? What do you want to be? We could-” 

“Steve?” 

Someone touches his shoulder and he flinches back into his own body. Eddie’s voice is full of concern, and okay, that's probably because he just dropped their snow cones. They're forming rainbow-colored puddles in the grass. 

“Stevie, c'mon, talk to me! You're freaking me out here!”

He snaps his head up. 

“Oh, thank fuck,” Eddie smiles. His eyes are large with worry. Large and brown and crinkling at the corners and so familiar and Steve's an idiot. “You just zoned out there, I thought-” 

“It's you,” Steve mutters. His hands are shaking and his eyes are stinging and then the next thing he knows is that his arms are around Eddie’s neck and he's sobbing into his shoulder. “Holy fuck, it's really you! You're my dragon!” 

“Wait, what?” Eddie pulls back, smile wide and incredulous. His fingers wipe away Steve’s tears, trace the shape of his cheekbones and jaw. “You're- Shit, really? I knew you looked familiar, but I thought there was no way-” 

“I was feeling so bad!” Steve blurts, chest heaving with what might be sobs or laughter, and who cares really, when he found his dragon again? “I was so scared to fall for you because-” 

“Oh?” Eddie’s grin isn't missing any teeth, but it's still just as brilliant. “Are you now?” 

“Huh?” 

Eddie chuckles. “Falling for me?” 

Steve feels himself flush, even as he gives a shaky nod. Eddie’s eyes are soft as he pulls him in. 

“It's okay, big boy. You don't have to be afraid of anything while I'm around.”

“This is really weird,” El whispers from somewhere above them as their lips meet. “I don't think they understand how being friends works.”

All my holiday drabbles

[hhhhunty]

been thinking nonstop about the asl brothers and would love to hear you yap about them

Ouhhh the ASL bros.... apologies in advance for how Luffy-heavy this is.

They are very important to me... Luffy's my favorite character and so of course I am made weak by his brothers. They're so incredibly tragic that it pains me to think about them. Did you ever think about the fact that Sabo and Luffy are the two who know each other the least? Sabo and Ace had at least three years before Sabo disappeared, and Ace and Luffy had seven years together before Ace set out, but Luffy and Sabo only knew each other through Ace for less than a year, twelve years ago. They're probably weird without the context of Ace in between them.

This of course isn't to say their bond isn't strong or they don't love each other as much, but being near each other must cause such an ache for their third brother given they were never around each other without Ace there... kind of like when Sabo "died" and Luffy and Ace kept talking to him anyways before getting embarrassed and upset as soon as they remembered Sabo's not here anymore.

Urghh I also think the beginning of Luffy's relationship with Ace is the blueprint for Luffy trying to befriend anyone, and probably the proof to him (though he already knew it) that he could get anyone in his corner if he was just persistent. This is an attitude he keeps throughout all his adventures and everyone he meets, from his "I refuse your refusal!" to Sanji to his consistent pestering of Law...

Ace is just a whole mess of his own... he changed so drastically and even learned manners for Luffy in order to thank Shanks for saving him (something something changing for the better because of someone you love). This completely changed his interactions with others, I think. I love whenever there are nods in comics or fics to Ace being remembered by Luffy's crew as this polite guy, and when Sabo hears of this he's just hopelessly confused and probably a little sad, too, that he missed such a change in his brother and never had the chance to meet him like that.

Back to Luffy though because I'm insane... Ace is such a good meter for Luffy's growth... I recently saw someone commenting on the way that Luffy speaks of Ace throughout post timeskip, from feeling so guilty meeting Sabo at Dressrosa to smiling when Marco told him Ace would be proud of him in Wano... I think a lot of that came from seeing Sabo, and knowing he had another brother alive. I think to Luffy, Sabo is the authority on Ace to some extent. That Sabo was simply happy Luffy was alive and wasn't upset at him for failing Ace was big for Luffy and he kind of took that to heart - it helped him really believe it... maybe that in a way caused him to be able to talk freely about Ace by the time he reached Wano...

Ughh this is all so disjointed and jumbled and I may think of more later but this has been my yapping for now.

here is a doodle :)

[babyhedonistt]

Too Close To Touch // SEVEN

warning: violence

“Nick, please, let’s talk about this.” You plead to your brother as he pulls you by the wrist into the dressing room, closing the door behind you. He was too quiet and you didn’t like seeing this side of him. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. “Y/N, why were you kissing Noah? I thought you couldn’t stand him.” He says. “That’s not true.” You spat, sounding a little too defensive. “Okay, he’s the one who had a grudge against you but, I’m just not understanding how all that tension between you two ended up being sexual.” He stares at you, looking genuinely confused. “Don’t say it like that.” You cringed. You forget that your brother didn’t know the extent of your and Noah’s relationship. He doesn’t even know that the two of you dated three years back.

 Props to Jolly for covering that up.

“I thought Noah was always like a brother to you. You two were close until you suddenly stopped talking. Now Ruffilo is beating him up? His best friend? You tell me everything Y/N, what aren’t you telling me?”

Your brother was always understanding. He was your Switzerland. The Yin to your Yang. “I-I like him, Nick. I think I always have.”

“We got that much, Y/N. Even when you two were younger, he always asked about you, he always watched you while you were in the room. He always made sure you were the first to eat at gatherings. You never noticed it, but I did. That’s why I didn’t flip out when I found out you two were kissing outside. Noah’s in love with you.”

You felt a lump in your throat as you looked at your brother. You weren’t convinced. “Love is an exaggeration, Nick. Infatuated yes, but I don’t know about love.” You tilted your head. “I know how broken he was about losing you 3 years ago.”

Your heart may as well have stopped when your brother said this. “What are you talking about?” You say, barely above a whisper. He leans against the door, tilting his head upward. “C’mon, we were all living together at the time Y/N. He came back home and his eyes were puffy. Tried to push it off as allergies. “he chuckles at the last word.

So he was upset? He didn’t even say a word when he left that day. “He locked himself in his room and he didn’t come out for two days, Y/N.”

Why didn’t Jolly tell you any of this? “Wanna know the best part too?” He adds, taking a step towards you. “When he did, eventually come out, he had 3 songs written with them, one of them was called ‘Just Pretend.”

You couldn’t handle this. You know how much passion Noah puts into the lyrics of his songs. The idea that Just Pretend, their most successful, most intimate song, most sad, and most personal song, one you’ve been ending each show with every night, was about you.

“I know how you two feel about another. That’s why Noah didn’t fight back when Ruffilo started beating him up. “ Folio explains.

“What?” You ask, confused at what he meant. “Y/N, Ruffilo is half Noah’s size. If Noah wanted to defend himself or even throw a few punches back, he could have.”

“Then why didn’t he?” You retort, in disbelief of this man. “Probably because he didn’t want to come off as violent, given how he’s been treating you this past month.”

You felt your stomach just drop. All the way down to your toes as your mouth fell agape. “Where is he?” You asked. Folio shrugs, “Jolly went after him but no one texted me yet. “ He explains checking his phone. You pushed past your brother, going back to the outside alley where the fight happened to see Matt and Ruffilo still standing there. You were fuming. You were upset. You were angry.

You walk straight up to Ruffilo. “Why the fuck did you do that?”

“Y/N don’t start.” He retorts. “He didn’t deserve any of that Nick!” You exclaim pointing to where Noah had stormed off. “Not only did you beat the shit out of your best friend but you slut shamed the fuck out of me for something that you have no business speaking on!” You yell.

Ruffilo fell silent. “Our relationship hasn’t impacted the performance of this band ONCE. You were already getting on him about bitching about having me substitute for my brother, and then you give him shit about attempting to save the reputation of the band by keeping us a secret, because he knew the minute he would have the balls to tell you about us then you would have kicked his ass. And look what happened!” You yell pointing to the spots of blood on the pavement from Noah’s face. You don’t even give him time to respond before you storm off towards where Noah and Jolly had disappeared.

It didn’t take you long to find them at all. They didn’t make it very far. You go around the  side of the building to see Jolly standing over Noah, who was sat on the ground with his head resting against the brick building and his eyes closed. Jolly saw you approaching them and he tapped Noah on the shoulder. “Hey.” He says. Noah opened his eyes and locks eyes with you before waving weakly. “Are you okay?” You asked him, squatting down to his level. “I’m fine. My face has seen better days though.” He admits, chuckling with a sad sigh. His lip started swelling and the blood began to dry, his eye started bruising ever so slightly at the corner. “Is Folio upset?” Jolly prys. You shake your head looking down. “No. I kind of bitched out Ruffilo though, I walked away before I gave him time to respond.” You cringed.

Noah chuckled, his brown hair slightly falling in his eyes before tilting his chin up. “We have a show in less than an hour, I hope we can get this fixed before then.” Jolly sighs. “I’ll be back with the rest.” He ushers his head back around the building, leaving just Noah and I.

A comfortable silence filled the air before you sit cross-legged in front of Noah. “I’m sorry.” He whispers. “I don’t see what you have to be sorry for.” You responded. He shrugs, playing with the bracelets around his wrist. “I guess I kind of deserved that beating.”

“No. Don’t even try to excuse what Nick did. He had no right to come at you like that. It was childish. He could have really hurt you.”

He looks down before clearing his throat. “It’s been a long time coming with him Y/N. He’s acting like a protective older brother I’ll admit I don’t handle my emotions very well.”

“Is that why you wrote Just Pretend?”

You could see that comment struck a nerve. He stopped playing with his bracelets and he wouldn’t take his eyes off the ground. “Where’d you hear that?” He scoffs. “Noah, I know you’ve lied to me about a lot of shit, but for the love of god please don’t lie to me about this one.” You practically beg him. His eyes slowly work their way up to yours, and they were glossy. “Three years ago, I tried everything in my power to make you leave me.” He admits.

Your eyebrows burrowed with confusion. “Why?”

“Because I had a feeling if three years ago I couldn’t balance my bands popularity, how the hell was I going to handle it now?”

You remained silent as he contninued,

“I figured if I could make you the bad guy, it would save me the trouble of having to break your heart. After that night, when I left, I went home, and I wrote. I wrote Just Pretend about you. I needed to get it out somehow. If I had gotten it out on paper, recorded it and produced it. Then I wouldn’t have my feelings for you pent up and I wouldn’t have to deal with the repercussions.”

To be continued....

Authors note: This was a tough one babies. Lemme know what you think about it :")

[captainjackscoat]

Fluid - a poem by me

Six years old in the supermarket

You made me make a choice

A calendar of green or pink

And I dared use my own voice

I said I wanted dinosaurs

You said it made you sad

That I didn't pick the unicorns

So I learned my voice was bad

Seven years old in the playground

Watching all my fellow girls

I suddenly felt lonely

I couldn't live in their world

I turned myself to stories

Because stories weren't real

My friends became the characters

And I refused to feel

Eight years old writing fiction

In the worlds inside my head

I made my main character me

But I was a boy instead

This boy, he had a girlfriend

Beautiful and kind

With fiery hair and a pretty dress

And I never spoke my mind

Nine years old in the classroom

Learning about long ago

I'm told to pick out costumes

So we can put on a show

All the boys get chainmail

The girls each get a dress

And I'm confused, I want both

My head is such a mess

Ten years old and singing

With everyone in class

And looking back on this moment

The closet was truly glass

They split the class in boys and girls

One for each half of the song

I stood in the middle, unsure why

I didn't know where I belonged

Eleven years old and learning

That love's more than black and white

Realising that I'm in love with girls

Led me to too many fights

I learn the word "transgender"

I say "maybe that's me"

But no one will explain it

So I just let it be

Twelve years old in high school

New friends, new life, new games

I learn the term "non-binary"

I give myself a new name

And though I think I'm sure of it

Sometimes I'm filled with doubt

When people deny the things I say

And I want to scream and shout

Thirteen years old and in love

She teaches me so much

I hate myself but I love her

And for now that is enough

Dysphoria is like a plague

Heartbreak is my best friend

I'm too hurt to figure myself out

I just want life to end

Fourteen years old and healing

I'm chronically online

A new family who teach me

What it's like to be alive

I learn a new identity

One that I think fits

"Gender fluid" it is called

And I think this is it

Fifteen years old and still not there

There's so much more to learn

But I've got a life ahead of me

And I've got friends to earn

I'm proud of being fluid, though

The people make it tough

Despite the comments, stares and hits

For now, I am enough

One day I am a teenage girl

One day I am a boy

Sometimes I'm neither, or I'm both

But I am not society's toy

I wear high heels and wear a dress

I get myself short hair

In jeans, a cap, crop top, a skirt

Expression everywhere

this is awful but oh well

[annab-nana]

a/n: this was actually the first thing i have ever written for eddie and it has been sitting in my drafts for almost a year now and i totally forgot about it so here it is!

warnings: not proofread, reader's on her period, bleeds through a little bit, being picked on/made fun of, use of pet names (sweetheart)

❀ masterlist ❀

you should've known it was coming. all the signs were there: acne around your chin and along your jaw, a little more tired than usual, slightly more emotional or sensitive, the damn cramps that were tormenting your lower abdomen currently as you waited for mrs. click to finish her spiel on the causes of world war one so you could leave for your locker for some medicine.

as soon as the bell rang, you were up. you were the first one out actually, but you didn't pay the laughter coming from behind you any mind. you had a mission and you were focused. get to your locker. get some medicine. go to the bathroom. maybe skip the rest of the day depending on if the medicine helped any or not.

your locker was in sight. you could see it and you had never been so happy to see that metal cabinet. you were almost there, nearly seven steps from it, when someone's hands landed on your waist, pulled you towards the wall, and spun you around.

to say you were surprised to see that it was eddie munson would've been an understatement. he usually stayed in his own lane for the most part, other than his occasional rants in the cafeteria. he was normally all over the place too, but right now as you studied his expression to figure out why he had pulled you aside, he appeared rather focused, determined even.

since he didn't seem to be speaking, only looking at you with an almost uncomfortable and unsure face, you asked him, "can i help you?"

"um." his eyes left yours before looking at almost everything else, trying to think you assumed. you watched an idea pop into his head and he start to shrug off his jacket. "here."

now, it was you who was unsure and confused.

"what?" you didn't take it. you weren't cold. the offer was nice, but you didn't understand the meaning behind it.

he sighed, seeming a little fed up, and stepped closer to you. he leaned down a touch and started to wrap his jacket around your waist. you didn't stop him but did again question him.

"eddie, what are you doing?" you inquired as he tied the sleeves securely. he looked up at you before standing to his full height and leaning towards your ear.

"you've got a little crimson situation going on," he whispered in explanation and pulled back to see if you understood what he was hinting at. at first, your brows furrowed together, but he watched your face morph into realization and then embarrassment. they were laughing at you as you walked out of class earlier and as you looked around the hall, you could see a good amount of eyes on you with amused smiles just below them.

"hey," eddie's voice called to you, bringing your focus back to him, "don't worry about them." he saw your eyes falter back to them and turned to see who exactly you were looking at. "stephen still says 'pacific' instead of 'specific'. jennifer threw up all over steve harrington in front of everyone at a party a couple weeks ago. cynthia had the same thing happen to her last year and it was way worse than what you've got. it looked like a murder scene and yours is like the size of a quarter maybe. they have absolutely no room to be laughing at you at all. they're just upset that this is as high as they're going to get. after high school, nothing will be better than this to them which is sad, but it's their funeral."

you appreciated his words and they definitely made you feel a little better about things. you had never really paid attention to eddie. sure, you had noticed his confidence and pride, but you never saw how kind he was nor how thoughtful he could be either.

"thank you, eddie. i'll get your jacket back to you tomorrow, i promise."

he returned the smile you sent him but noticed you lean to walk the way opposite of your locker towards the exit. "you leaving?"

"yeah?" you responded in a questioning tone, wondering what else he wanted to discuss.

eddie knew where you lived—it was a few houses down from gareth's—and he knew that it was a good walk away on a normal day. he didn't feel right letting you walk there as you were now. "let me drive you home."

"eddie, you don't have to. you've already done plenty for me."

"i want to," he mentioned, waiting to get your okay which came in the form of a nod. "you need anything else from here?"

"other than the bathroom, nope." you could get medicine at home.

"alright then," he started with a grin growing on his lips that brought an unfamiliar warmth to your chest, "i'll wait out here for you and then we'll go."

you nodded to him once more. "thanks eddie."

"no problem, sweetheart."

remember to support writers & reblog :)

turn on notifications for @annab-library to be notified when i post something new or join the tag list here!

tag list: @fiction-is-life @jellyfishbeansontoast

[chososchalupa]

wish that it was me

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The last person you wanted to see at this meeting was your older brother. The same brother who left you in the hands of Chuuya Nakahara and the Port Mafia years ago, but all you can see now are the pleading eyes of Osamu Dazai begging for forgiveness.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Chapter six - He's gone

wc - 809

cw - sad Akutagawa moment, not proofread

chapter seven

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

“Did Dazai actually explain anything?” Akutagawa asked as soon as you got into his car. 

You nodded, “He did”

The three of you sat silently as Akutagawa drove away before he spoke up again, “Care to share?”

“He said he wasn't able to take care of me and was scared of hurting me, I guess. I was eavesdropping on his and Chuuyas' conversation. He didn't say anything to me about it”

Gin laughed from the passenger seat, “As if he didn’t hurt you and everyone else by leaving”

You let out a soft laugh, “exactly”

The rest of the car ride was silent besides Gin humming along to the radio. Akutagawa would glance at you in the mirror every once in a while to make sure you were doing okay but he hadn’t spoken a word since you gave him Dazais’ reasoning. Once you arrived back at their home, he was quick to go to his bedroom. You gave Gin a look of confusion as you both sat on the couch,

“Is he okay?”

“He always gets like that when Dazai is brought up”

You nodded, Akutagawa was the only person who understood the level of pain you felt. Chuuya tried, and he understood for the most part but he also didn’t care as much as the two of you did. Akutagawa looked up to Dazai for everything, even when Dazai didn’t deserve the praise he was given. You remembered years ago, when Akutagawa came to you out of desperation, asking what he could do to receive the slightest praise from your brother.

“I have done everything he asks but it is never good enough” He spoke, clearly trying to hold back tears. You weren't sure if the tears threatening to spill were from anger or sadness but it made you upset regardless, knowing Dazai was capable of hurting someone who tried so hard for him. 

You reassured Akutagawa with a small smile, “I’ll talk to him” 

That night, you sat in your living room waiting for Dazai to come home. It wasn’t until 2am that he walked through the front door, a look of confusion on his face when he saw you still awake. 

“What are you doing up?” He asked, hanging his coat on the hanger beside the door. 

“I needed to talk to you about Akutagawa”

Dazai groaned, throwing his head back, “I’ve dealt with him enough today. Can it wait?”

You rolled your eyes, “You should be nicer to him”

Dazai lifted his head up and looked into your eyes, trying to see if you were joking with him or not, “You’re serious?” 

“Mhm”

“No. He’ll never learn if I'm soft on him. And he definitely shouldn’t be going to my little sister to complain. I’ll talk to him tomorrow”

Your eyes widened, “No, Osamu. He was just upset”

Dazai waved his hand at you as he walked away, “I don’t care about his feelings. I’m training him to be in the Mafia, not to join the Boy Scouts”

You weren't sure what happened after that, Akutagawa didn’t speak to you about Dazai until he had vanished and Dazai never spoke a word about Akutagawa to you. 

What you did know was Dazai never gave Aku the praise he so desperately wanted and now that Dazai was back, all of the memories were flooding Akutagawa's mind again.

“We should probably get rest too, you can sleep in my room with me if you don’t mind. My bed is comfier than the couch” Gin spoke

“You’re right. This couch isn't the best” You laughed, getting up to follow Gin to her room.

You awoke the next morning to hear muffled voices coming from the living room. You quietly got out of bed and made your way down the hall.

“I told the bastard it was a stupid idea, he never fuckin’ listens” You heard one of the voices say.

Definitely Chuuya.

“I don’t think it’s wise to bring her back to your house if he is still there” 

“He went home”

You finally walked out into the living room to see Chuuya and Akutagawa standing beside the couch that Gin was laying on. 

“Ready to come back?” Chuuya asked, eyes locking on yours.

“He’s not there?” You asked, you knew he wasn’t but you needed to be sure before saying yes.

Chuuya huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Like I just told Akutagawa, Dazai went home”

You nodded, “I just need to grab my stuff”

Once you had your belongings in hand, you went back to Chuuyas' now Dazai free home.

“Oh and Boss called earlier this morning” Chuuya spoke as you sat at the kitchen table 

“What’d he want?” You asked

Chuuya sighed, his eyes looking apologetically at yours, “Got a meeting tomorrow, me and you gotta go to the ADA building for 8”

taglist

@lacunaanonymoused @decaf-nosebleed @till-we-become-monsters

AO3

masterlist

[captain-mj]

The Last and The First

Made myself a little sad about the idea of MaceGhost being exes and the concept of moving on and wrote this? SoapGhost is end game but it's more about Ghost seeing Mace and getting a bunch of feelings

I've decided I like this ship though :)

Ghost hated working with other people. He had gotten used to occasionally working with merc groups like Kortac and he even did runs for SpecGru on occasion. Usually though, he either refused or had Price make sure it was someone he liked. This time, Price had put in the request for König and Horangi and anyone who might have information on Makarov. 

He didn’t think too much about the set or the mission. No matter what, he’d finish this job and bring himself and Soap home. Hopefully König and Horangi too, but if not, oh well. This third person would be of no importance either. 

Soap wanted to greet them at the tarmac so Ghost went with him. The two of them watched the three people come down. Ghost remained silent, just glancing over the person who came in. They wore a thick jacket with a high collar and gloves. They had a golden mask on that shimmered slightly. 

König and Soap started to chatter away about something. It sounded like a show but Ghost had a hard time keeping up so he turned away from them. He planned to just talk with Horangi, but then he saw the third person there. 

They locked eyes and both paused. 

“Simon?” He sounded confused, soft and a little angry. 

König and Horangi looked confused, not knowing Ghost’s first name, but Soap was immediately on guard and confused by this stranger that knew such a big secret.

“Mace.” Ghost responded as professionally and coldly as he possible could. 

Horangi frowned. “Your name is Simon?” He seemed affronted at the idea, like Ghost should have a cooler name or something. 

Mace stepped closer, a picture of everything that Simon had thought of while being tortured. When his body had hurt and blood was on the ground, Simon had thought of him often. He wore a gold mask and his warm eyes stared into him. “You’re alive. You’re…” His eyes scanned over Ghost, breathing him in. There was a tinge of anger to his voice, but it was overshadowed by the disbelief. 

Soap cleared his throat, looking a little… jealous? That didn’t make much sense to Ghost but that’s what he looked like. “Name’s Soap and you are?”

“Like your….” Mace raked his eyes over Ghost in a way that could only be described as salacious. “Lieutenant said. Name is Mace.”

“And you know Ghost how?”

“Ghost.” Mace repeated. “Didn’t know you made it out of the Zaragoza Drug Cartel. Always assumed you died there.”

“I was there for seven months. Then I walked to Texas, spent a while there. How long did you look for me?”

“Don’t think I ever stopped.” Mace replied with a sincerity that made Ghost sick. 

“How much do you know about Makarov?”

König and Horangi both winced in unison. Soap looked a tad bit smug about it. 

Mace was professional. He told them everything he knew, which he admitted wasn’t much. 

Ghost and him walked together as they debriefed each other on everything. 

Soap quickly got between them to listen better. He made sure to lean into Ghost once they were in the meeting room, setting a clear line. 

Mace looked at him before simply shrugging him off. The five of them worked seamlessly, all of them having a unique skill or ability that gave them all good chemistry. 

Before long the four of them had infiltrated the building and Ghost had set up at his sniping position. 

“So.” Soap asked after a while. “You two know each other?”

Horangi interrupted. “Yeah, I’ve been dying to know what’s been going on with you two.” 

Mace hummed. “Simon?”

Ghost shot a target, watching carefully to make sure that no one saw it. “Few years ago, before I got my callsign, we fucked. That’s it. No need to act like you guys are.”

Silence followed before König whisper screamed into the mic. “Mace you fucked Ghost!!!”

“He wasn’t Ghost when we dated. I just called him Pretty Boy.”

“It was fucking embarrasing nickname.”

“You were pretty. Though, I can appreciate the muscle you put on.” Mace stabbed someone. They could hear the death gurgle where he held them against his chest and their mouth was near the mic. “Then Vernon took you.”

“He got his.”

“Your hands?”

“Roba.”

“And what happened to Roba?” Mace asked, a smile in his voice. 

Ghost smiled too, finding a familiar ease in being around him again. A spark that led back to before the mask. Before Ghost. “That was my hands.”

“Just like old times. You were little bastard back then and you haven’t changed.”

“It’s one of the things I love about Ghost.” Soap said softly. “I’ve set another charge. Should be able to head back soon, yeah Simon?”

Ghost remembered himself. “Yes. Good job, Johnny.”

“Thank you, sir.” Soap was clearly preening and Ghost was never one to tell him no. 

“How long were two together?”

“Six months.” Mace answered. “He was a good kisser. In case you were wondering.”

Horangi laughed and they were all able to feel the hate rolling off of Soap even through the silence. 

Ghost laughed a little. “Don’t get jealous, Johnny. I kissed lots of boys and girls through high school and boot camp.” 

König stifled his laughter. “Not sure I believe it.”

“I don’t wear a mask because of anxiety.” 

Now there were two silent angry people. 

The mission was uneventful. He barely interacted with Mace after that. 

They were staying the night in the safe house before exfil could pick them up. 

Ghost was eager to get a shower. The place he had been sniping had some sort of plant that had stuck to his clothes and any piece of skin it could. It made him itch slightly. He excused himself and went to the bathroom. Before he could get the door shut, Mace put his hand on the door.

“Simon. Can we talk?”

Ghost took a deep breath and let go of the door. “Yeah. Come in.”

Mace stepped in. “Just fucking?”

Simon stayed silent. 

“We fucked? That’s it?”

Simon bit his lip hard, glad he still had his mask on to cover it.

“I was in love with you.”

“I know.”

“I searched. God I searched. When I joined a merc group, I was hoping to hear something. Kept my ear to the ground.” 

Ghost looked away. Part of him wanted to ask for forgiveness. Another part hated Mace for making him feel like that young cadet again. “Had to do what i had to do Mace.”

They stared at each other and the air crackled between them. It would be easy to lift the mask. Kiss him. Fall right back into the relationship they had as young guys in the SAS. 

But Ghost was not that person. 

Neither was Mace. 

It hit them both at the same time. 

“You and Soap…”

“We’re not dating. Officially.”

“You and I both know that doesn’t mean anything.”

Ghost shook his head and looked away. If Mace had come a few months earlier. If he hadn’t been so roughed up after Roba. If he had put his thoughts together long enough to remember the soldier that kissed him at night. Maybe things would’ve been different. Maybe right now, they could kiss and it would feel nice instead of like cheating. He wasn’t even with Soap but his heart didn’t know that. 

Mace sighed. “Don’t worry. I haven’t been some celibate monk waiting for you. Seeing you brought back some feelings, but I’d never fault you for not returning them.”

“They did for me too. Feelings. Were brought back, I mean.”

They were quiet a moment before Ghost continued. “Not enough though, right?”

“No. Not enough. I’m happy you’re alive. I’m happy you might be happy one day. But I can’t give up what I’ve built for you.” 

“And I can’t give up the military.”

Mace stepped forward and Simon lifted his mask. The kiss was… chaste. It was very much a goodbye. The slightest brush of lips. “You’ve changed a lot.”

“So have you.”

Mace pulled away. “Please ease the Scottish man’s mind. I don’t want to be blown up.”

“Understood.” Ghost smiled a little before pulling his mask back down. “Might ask him on a date after this.”

Mace nodded. “You should. You deserve to be happy.” 

“So do you. Don’t become a celibate monk.”

They laughed and Mace patted him. He left the bathroom and let Simon finally shower. When he got out, he put his bedroll between Johnny and the door and settled in for the night, watching the door. 

Ghost listened to everyone’s breathing drop off except König who was on first watch. 

Soap sighed. “Mace is… cool.” He spoke quietly enough that only Ghost would hear it.

“What did I say earlier about being jealous?”

“Not jealous.” 

Ghost turned over, despite his instincts to keep watching the door. He looked at Soap and sighed. “He was my first love. But he’s not my last. You don’t have to worry about him taking me away from you.”

“Why would I worry about that?”

Ghost pulled Soap over rather easily despite how much he weighed. He pulled Soap under his chin and to his chest. “Want to go to the bar after this?”

“With the 141?”

“Nah. Just us.”

Soap grabbed the arm around his waist. “Yeah. I would.”

Ghost settled in closer. 

With any luck, Soap would be his last love.

[theblueflower05]

Part One: Genesis

Summary: The start of it all. In which you meet your best friend and fall in love with the Sully’s

Word count: 1140k

Warning: Mentions of bullying. Can be triggering and emotional. I got a little choked up writing this.

My heart will never be, will never see. Will never know.

Oh heart and then it falls.

And then I fall.

And then I know- Genesis, Grimes

You can't remember the first time you’d noticed Neteyam.

Noticed the heat in your cheeks and the tightness in your chest when you’re anywhere near him.

It’s like a strike of lightning, a crack of thunder. Nature erupting, no longer desiring to be ignored.

You think that maybe you were seven years old. Him nine.

Because of course you had seen him, known him. Had spent your short years with him ever present, a staple in your community. Netyam, the first born son of Jake Sully, renowned Olo’ eyktan and Neytiri, future Tsahik.

His name sung, praised. Lore in the making, a Greek tragedy being written. A king being molded.

But most of all, at least to you, he’s Kiri’s older brother. An ever present shadow, always keeping her in his peripheral.

Kiri finds lost things, and Austrapod who strayed from the nest. Glow worms washed out by the rains, she finds them and nurtures them. Connects to them, tries her hardest to understand them, loves them. No matter how creepy crawl-y, how mean or stand off-ish. How odd. It makes you sad, that other Na’vi dont feel the same way about her.

The other children make fun of her fourth finger, of the way she speaks English with her father and the other science sky people. How she stares at the bioluminescent flora and fauna for just a tad too long, whispering to the gentle breeze about how beautiful she thinks they are.

Kiri finds lost things, but you found her.

Years ago, sitting alone by the creek.

“What are you doing?” You asked, fascinated by the girl as she carried a soft tune to no one in particular.

She had almost jumped out of her skin, hadn't realized that anyone was there. Much less you, you who always seemed to be swarmed by a group of friends. Who answered questions first in class and had the prettiest necklace.

She’s mortified to be caught by anyone. But especially by you.

“Nothing, singing” Kiri answers, cheeks glowing purple.

“To who?” You continue on and she knows that you’re going to make fun of her. That you’ll run and tell your friends how freaky she is.

“Um, to the fish. I think they like it” She whispers staring down at the ripples on the water. Ready for the onslaught.

“Really?” Your voice isn’t malicious, isn’t cutting or mean. It’s sweet, the way it always seems to be “Do you think they can hear it?

You come beside her and crouch down, close enough that your shoulders are almost touching and Kiri stares at the side of your face, confused.

“Yeah, I do” She starts, a stutter in her small voice. “Do you wanna see?”

“Yes please” You chime, eager.

Kiri sings the song that grandmother taught her. The one about the sun being in love with the rain, even though the rain lived to dim it’s light. The fish like sad songs, Kiri has learned. As she sings they take turns coming to the surface, erupting it in happy popping bubbles.

You giggle joyously clapping and cheering “That’s so cool”

And no one had ever called Kiri cool before.

You didnt care about her hands, didnt care that she couldnt carry a tune when you asked her to sing more with you. Spent the whole day swimming, and laughing with you.You braided her hair with a few beads from your favorite bracelet and came back to the village hand and hand, fingers interlaced toting her along.

You’d found her and she was yours.

All of your other friends would have to be nice, you promise her. You’d make them. Just watch. Jake and Neytiri could only look on with warm amusement as Kiri trailed behind you, eyes wide as her smile. Grateful that she’d found someone. A confidant, a peer. A friend.

“I told you she just needed a little time. She’s a late bloomer, like you” Jake had sniggered to his wife, earning a sharp elbow to his wide chest. Neytiri knew isolation all too well, and had never quite broken out ot her introverted nature.

Was it so wrong that she didn't want her daughter to face the same? Kiri had barley spoken a word with the other children for all of her seven years.

When Kiri had asked to bring her new friend to their hut for dinner, her parents eagerly accepted.

“Of course, bring er’ over! Anytime you want, kiddo”

Having dinner with the Olo’eyktan and his family is big, an honor. But to your small mind, it's just Kiri. You’re excited to see her baby sister that she goes on about and most of all, to gift her the bracelet that you’d made her. It looks just like yours, almost identical.

Kiri shrieked with joy with you give it to her “It’s beautiful- no ones ever given me a bracelet before”

The other girls in class exchange them with each other, but never with her. Kiri’s chest feels full and her eyes full of tears.

Neytiri has to hold in her own as she watches the scene.

“I made it just like mine” you grin, holding out your own wrist “See? So everyone can see that we’re best friends”

You help her put it on, loop the knot tight so that it doesn't fall off and Kiri cradles her wrist to her chest for the entirety of the meal. Twirling at the many beads with her fingers.

“Kiri honey eat your food” Jake pushes, chuckling at her childish antics. “You gotta use your hands for that”

You hand her a piece of cut up fruit. She doesn't have to use her hand if she doesn't want to.

Neteyam cant help but grin, gapped from where he’d recently lost his front tooth. Impressed at your semi blatant form of rebellion.

An impressed little thing that you’d never thought you’d get from the boy.

Your heart, young and new and all to naive, bursts.

Completely enthralled with the Sully family. With the beauty of Kiri’s mother and the goofiness of her father. With baby, Tuk, who babbles but doesn’t wail. Even Lo’ak who had pulled your tail at lessons once seems better in the dim light of mild evening.

It seems as if she never let go of your hand after that day. Where there is one of you, the other is never far behind. Sat close during lessons and shrill giggles at dinner. The months go by. Then years follow, and any novelty that this was just a juvenile friendship fades and wanes.

Eywa brings her children together, Eywa knows when two souls are meant to cross.

The older you get, the more you find you have to trust that.

A|N: I’m so excited to finally get this first chapter posted I know it’s a little jumpy and hard to follow but that’s just because I wanted to tell the story of y/n and Kiri’s friendship before we start. It’s important to the flow of the rest of the story

Chapter two is written and ready to be posted! Let me know if you want a tag!

[unreadpoppy]

Plus One - chapter 5 (Finale)

Raphael x Fem!Tav; Modern AU

Read on AO3

chapter 4

A/N: Last chapter! I loved working on this AU, and I'm glad you guys had fun as well! My plan was always for this to be some short, fun little thing and so here is the finale.

Warning: Suggestive themes and nudity but no sex.

Tav had dragged Raphael back to their room, the man confused as to what had happened. 

“What is the meaning of this?” He asked, standing in the middle of the room, as Tav closed the door. 

Her back was turned to him, she took a few deep breaths before saying. “When did you buy this ring?”

Raphael raised a brow. “Pardon?”

Tav turned to look at him. “This ring, Raphael, when did you buy it?” She showed him her left hand. 

“I do not recall.” He avoided eye contact with her. 

“You don’t? Because Haarlep told me that you were going to propose to me with this ring, seven years ago.” She said, anger starting to rise. “Is that true, Raphael?”

His jaw clenched. He considered lying, saying that it was for someone else, but he knew it would not work it out in his favor. With a sigh, Raphael answered. “Haarlep speaks true, yes.”

“By the gods…” Tav put a hand on her forehead. “And you just kept this ring hanging around?”

“I don’t understand what the problem is.” He frowned. “You were the one who left me.”

“Yes, but you didn’t come after me!” She shouted. “You said all those terrible things to me, and then you didn’t even attempt to make amends?” She passed a hand through her hair. 

“And what was I supposed to do, huh? Run after you and beg for your forgiveness?” He matched her in tone. 

“No, but you should have fought for us! You didn’t try, you-you just gave up, Raphael, like it didn’t even matter!” 

“But why do I have to be the one doing everything? Why didn’t you try as well?” His face twisted in anger.

“Because I was hurting!” Tears began to fall down Tav’s face. “You were the man of my life and you just-”

“I just what?!” He interrupted her. “You think that I wasn’t hurting as well? That I didn’t think about you every damned hour of the day, like some witch who put a curse on me?” Raphael had started walking towards her. “Why do you think I haven’t been with anyone since? Why do you think I was so inclined to help you? Why do you think I kept this damned ring?” His voice filled with emotion. 

Tav looked at it again, the ruby shining on her finger, a dozen questions running through her head. 

Why would he say all these things, do all that, especially after how things ended? Why did she feel this way, as if they were back in time? 

Tav looked up, looked into his eyes and the fog cleared. “You still had hope…that’d I’d come back, that you’d get to ask.” 

He nodded solemnly. Tav’s gaze softened. 

“But then…when enough time had passed, why didn’t you call me?”

Raphael scoffed. “Part of it was pride, and believing that you’d come crawling back.” Tav raised a brow at that. “But, after a year or so, I thought it pointless.” He took a step back. “Even when I was tormented at night, by endless dreams of you, I was sure that you would reject me if I asked.” 

And gods forbid the great Raphael ever be rejected. He walked back and sat on the bed, shoulders slumped.

Tav took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. Then, she moved towards the bed and sat beside him. 

“I was angry, at first.” She began. “Angry at how you treated me, how you threw it all away because of your pride. I destroyed every reminder of you I had, but after all was said and done I felt…sad. Empty.” Tav shrugged. “I kept thinking of you, and the more I thought, the more I hurt, so I buried everything deep inside, and only let resentment come to the surface.” 

She stopped for a moment, intertwining her hand with his. “But I have been thinking. Thinking and feeling too much these past few days, and I can’t quite believe but I had missed you. Missed us.” She shook her head. “I tried to deny it but now I know it to be true.”

“Where are you trying to get at?” Raphael spoke, looking at her. 

She took a deep breath, and placed her other hand on his cheek. “Even after everything, I would still have said yes.” Tav inched forward and kissed Raphael, the first time in years. 

The kiss had been brief and sweet, his lips had been the same as she remembered. Soon it was over and Tav smiled, getting up and making her way towards the door. Before she could reach the doorknob, a much larger hand wrapped itself around her wrist, yanking her back and his lips crashed onto hers again. 

One of Raphael’s hands was on her waist, the other on her face, and he kissed her with a hunger and passion she had never seen before. When she gasped, his tongue found an entrance into her mouth, and it was as thought he was trying to eat her up before she disappeared. 

Tav’s hands roamed his body, slowly beginning to undo his belt. In response, the hand on her waist found its way to the back of her dress, quickly getting the zipper all the way down, leaving her only in her underwear. 

She was the first to let go, undoing her bra and putting down her panties, letting them pool on the floor along with the dress. Tav walked towards the bed, and laid on it, while Raphael got rid of his clothes. Soon, he jumped after her, kissing her again and again. 

For a moment, however, Tav stopped him. “Won’t the others noticed we’ve been gone for too long?”

He smirked. “Let them.” He kissed her again, holding her and rolling on the bed, making Tav stay atop of him. “We have a lot of time to make up for.” 

“Indeed we do.” Tav grinned, pressing her lips to his once more. 

The night had been filled with passion, and when the first rays of morning shone on Tav’s face, she realized all had been real. She was there, naked under the covers, her head pressed onto Raphael’s chest, his arms circling hers. 

She looked at him, at how peaceful he looked. She took a mental picture of this moment, to make sure she would keep it forever in her mind. A small snore coming from him made her chuckle. Tav sighed, and closed her eyes. It was Sunday, and they could still afford some precious moments alone. 

…

A few weeks later 

With the information Raphael provided, Tav and Astarion were able to make progress on their legal fight against Cazador, even reuniting the elf with others who had been used by Szaar. 

Now, Tav and Shadowheart were near the coffee machine, with Tav taking a sip from her cup. 

“Have you been having sex again?” Shadowheart suddenly asked, making Tav almost choke on her drink.

“Excuse me?” Tav coughed. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

The half elf smirked. “It’s just, you seem to be in a better mood than I’ve ever seen you in.” She inched closer to Tav. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed the purple bruises on your neck that you try to hide with that hideous scarf.” At that, Tav felt the blood rushing to her face, suddenly feeling bashful. “

Shadowheart raised a brow. “So…who’s the lucky guy?” 

Tav looked at the ruby ring on her hand. “An old flame.” 

As soon as the words left her mouth, a nearby elevator opened and out of it, Raphael walked out, wearing one of his better suits. Once he spotted Tav, he made his way towards her. 

Shadowheart froze, as she saw how quickly Tav finished downing her coffee. “Do you want me to tell him to leave or-”

“No need.” She threw the empty cup on a trash bin, walking up to meet with Raphael halfway through. Shadowheart followed a few steps behind. 

“You’re early.” She said, crossing her arms at him. “Were you missing me too much?” She teased. 

He looked at his wrist watch and then smirked. “What can I say, it is hard to stay away from such…stimulating company.” Raphael placed both hands on her shoulders and kissed her gently. “Let us enjoy some lunch together.” 

Tav smiled and nodded, taking his hand and walking off. From the elevator, she saw Shadowheart’s jaw drop to the floor, as she winked at the secretary, shouting “Enjoy an earlier lunch break!” 

THE END

[ssturniolo92]

matt sturniolo-right where you left me

pairing-matt sturniolo x reader

genre-angst

warnings-crying? heartbreak?

a/n-no happy ending sowwy😭

fight part 1 fight part 2

i felt my phone buzz, pulling it out i saw it was from matt. i felt my heartbeat speed up in anticipation.

hey, i’m in town. can we meet up?

i responded quickly, not caring what he thought of my quickness.

sure, our spot?

our spot was the only fancy place in town. i hadn’t been there since we were actually together, but what the hell right?

sounds good. tomorrow night, 8pm?

see you there.

i could hardly wait to see him. ever since christmas i couldn’t wait. i thought about him ever he day. we would text or facetime on occasion. but since his career has skyrocketed in the last year he’s been busy, so the calls and texts have been less frequent.

the next day i picked out my best dress, the one he liked the most on me. i pinned up my hair in a bun, but i had to use around 10 pins.

i was ready by seven, and just sat around waiting until 7:45, which is when i left my parents house.

as i drove all i could think about was what he wanted to meet up for. maybe he wanted to get back together? maybe he missed me? the endless questions filled my mind. i could barely handle the excitement.

i walked in the restaurant at exactly 8, and saw him already sitting at a table near the window in the corner. our table.

i walked over with a smile and he smiled back. i missed this feeling. last time we saw each other was confusing, maybe he wanted to make things official?

“and you’re, sitting in front of me. at the restaurant.”

“so how have you been?” he asked, clearing his throat.

“i’ve been good, really good.” i said, unable to contain my smile.

“schools good?” he asked.

“when i was still the one you want.”

“yeah, i love it.” i told him. “how’s youtube?”

“cross-legged in the dim-light everything was just right.”

“good. we’re busy. thinking of going on tour soon.” he said, and i noticed he was avoiding eye contact.

“so, did you wanna talk about something?” i asked hopefully, attempting to make eye contact.

“i could feel the mascara run.”

“yeah actually.” he said and i could tell he was about to continue. my mouth was dry from the nervousness, i brought my glass of water up to my mouth as he spoke.

“i met someone.”

“you told me that you met someone.”

i felt my stomach drop, as everything just stopped. i didn’t even realized i had dropped the glass until i rested my hand on the table and felt the sharp edges.

“glass shattered on the white cloth.”

i felt like i was going to throw up. this was worse than leaving him all those months ago. how could i move on from this?

“everybody moved on.”

i couldn’t bear to look at him. he met someone? i never expected him to say those words. never in my entire life. i felt stuck. like i couldn’t move. couldn’t breathe. this moment would be trapped inside of my brain forever. i felt like i would stay here forever.

“help. i’m still at the restaurant.”

[time skip]

“still sitting in a corner i haunt.”

i still found myself dreaming of that night. even weeks later. i just couldn’t handle the thought of him leaving my life completely, i guess i should’ve known this was coming when i walked out on him.

“cross-legged in the dim light.”

i still remembered every time we met there, our first date, when he asked me to be his girlfriend, when he first said i love you. everything happened there. that place was where we started and ended.

“they say what a sad sight.”

i still went there, when i really missed him. i would pray that i wouldn’t see him and this girl that he had met there, but i guess he knew that that was our place, a place frozen in time.

“i, i stayed there.”

the employees knew and felt sympathy towards me, i could tell. but i didn’t deserve it. i should’ve known this would happen. ever since that night.

“dust collected on my pinned up hair.”

i saw pictures of them online, the whole internet was happy for them. i was too. i just couldn’t get out of that loop. that feeling that i should wait for him. that feeling of nostalgia and longing.

“i’m sure that you got a wife out there, kids and christmas.”

by the time the holidays came around i was sure they were serious, and i was happy for him. as happy as i could be. she looked nice. she was pretty. she had a nice smile. she wasn’t frozen in time like me.

“but i’m unaware, cause i’m right where-”

while i didnt know every single detail of their relationship, i knew they were happy. so instead of moving, i moped on. unaware of the world around me.

“i cause no harm.”

i had gotten multiple texts from chris and nick asking if i was okay. i hadn’t posted on any social media in months, as far as everyone was concerned i was frozen in time, simply stuck in the past.

“mind my business.”

and even if i did go out, i preferred to stay quiet. during lectures and classes i refrained from raising my hand or talking. and i was sure everyone knew why by now, dating someone who’s sorta famous has its cons; especially when you break up.

“if our live died young, i can’t bear witness.”

i feel like maybe things could’ve been different in another world. so instead of facing it, i turn my head away from the truth. choosing to stay. where you were staying, you didn’t know.

“and it’s been so long.”

you would walk the streets, feeling the sympathetic stares from the other people. you tried to come home to boston as often as you could, and you heard what they said about you.

“did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen?” “time went on for everybody else she won’t know it.” “she’s still 19, inside her fantasy.”

“did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?” “breakups happen everyday you don’t have to lose it.”

“but if you ever think you got it wrong, i’m right where you left me.”

you knew that if he ever decided to come back to you, he knew where to find you.

“you left me no, oh you left me no, you left me no choice but to stay here forever.”

you didn’t have it in you to move on. you knew that. everyone knew. so you would just stay here forever.

[kit-walk3r]

Hi! Please can I request a fluff where Kit Walker gives the reader her very first time kiss? Tysm <3

Of course, such a cute request. Thank you!

Was That Okay? (Kit Walker x fem!reader)

You and Kit have a heart to heart in Briarcliff which leads to a loving moment.

Warnings: none

Note: I haven’t given major specifics on why the reader is in Briarcliff as I didn’t want to include anything potentially triggering which would distract from the story. It’s up to you to decide why she’s in there!

“Hey,” Kit greeted you when he found you in the common room, sitting alone far away from everyone else. You liked to keep to yourself in Briarcliff, but ever since Kit was brought in you found that you rather liked his company.

“Hi,” you simply responded, offering the smallest of smiles before going back to picking at one of the many loose threads on the chair you were seated in.

Kit took a seat next to you and frowned. “What’s wrong?” He asked, voice laced with concern.

You sighed. “I saw what date it is today,” you said quietly, not looking up. “It’s seven years since I got committed here.”

“Seven?” Kit looked appalled. “But you’re only what? Twenty two?”

You nodded. “I was fifteen when I was sent here,” you explained sadly.

“I didn’t think that would be allowed,” Kit said, confused.

“Anything is allowed when your parents have enough money,” you shrugged. “They sent Briarcliff money every year until I was eighteen to keep me here, since they knew it wasn’t technically legal.”

Kit stayed silent, but reached out a hand and gently grasped yours in his own.

“Seven years and they’ve never once come to see me,” You sniffled, using your free hand to wipe your eyes.

“I’m really sorry,” Kit finally said.

You didn’t respond, instead letting your gaze fall back to the loose threads of the chair, away from Kit.

There was silence between the two of you for a few minutes.

“You know, I never even got the chance to tell my parents I got married,” Kit spoke up.

You turned to look at him, acknowledging the sad look in his eye. “You didn’t?”

He shook his head. “The first they would have heard about it would have been when I was arrested for her murder.”

“I’m sorry, Kit,” you murmured, echoing the same words he uttered to you just moments ago. “How come you never told them?”

Kit shrugged. “We wanted to, but just kept putting it off. I think we were scared. I mean, it wasn’t exactly a legal marriage,” he sighed. “I didn’t know how they would react. I’d like to think that they would have accepted us, but I guess I’ll never know. I’ve not heard from them. No letters, no visits, just like you. As much as it hurts that they’d believe it, I hope it’s the Bloody Face thing keeping them away, and not that their son married a black gal.”

You didn’t say anything, not knowing what exactly the right thing to say was.

“My point is,” Kit said gently. “Families, parents… they can be tough. And they can let you down. But there will always be someone watching your back,” He wiped away a lone tear on your cheek. “I’m here for you. Whatever you need, I’ll do my best to take care of you.” Not like how I couldn’t take care of Alma, he silently added in his head.

Your eyes met Kit’s and you could see everything in them; the hurt and sadness, but also the care and compassion. Kit was special. Kit was warm and kind and loving and unlike anyone you had ever met before. His entire being was made for love and protection, not the pain and torture people believed he had inflicted on others.

At the same time the both of you began to lean in towards each other. It was slow, there was no need for rushing as the two of you inched closer and closer. Your eyes drifted shut as your heart’s beat intensified with anticipation. You could feel Kit’s cool breath against your surely flushed cheeks, sending a shiver down your spine.

It was a gentle touch of lips, only lasting a few seconds at most. A warmth flooded your body and you couldn’t stop the smile that followed. Kit’s touch sent a sensation through you, making you feel special and blessed and loved. That was just the effect Kit had.

Your eyes fluttered open as the two of you pulled back and there was a spark to Kit’s own that wasn’t there before, as if he were feeling everything that you were in that moment.

“Was that your first kiss?” Kit asked quietly.

You nodded, your smile soft.

“Was it okay?” He asked nervously.

You nodded again and Kit let out a sigh of relief, sending you into gentle laughter.

•———•

Hope this was okay anon! It was nice to write something a bit happier for a change. Once again, any requests are welcome!

[letarasstuff]

About Grief, Love and (Un)Fairness

(A/N): While writing this I learned, that my mascara really is water proof. Can recommend it, 10/10.

Summary: Spencer and his daughter are still grieving the death of a wife and a mother

Warnings: A loved ones death (died in a hospital), grief, a whole lotta sadness

Wordcount: .9 k

✨Masterlist✨ ____________________________ After a relaxing day of paperwork in the office, Spencer stumbles through the front door with his keys in one hand and a paper bag with take out in the other.

"(Y/N)! I'm home! And I brought food! Maybe we can watch this documentary about the Latin alphab-" He cuts himself off as he sees his daughter sitting on the couch in the dark. The low light coming from the hallway illuminates the tear streaks on her cheeks.

Immediately Spencer scrambles to action, putting the food down, throwing his satchel and jacket somewhere in the room. Kneeling in front of her, he tries to take in as much of her appearance as possible. Which was admittedly pretty difficult, since (Y/N) cocooned herself into a blanket.

"Sweetheart, what happened? Did you get hurt? Did something happen at school? On your way home? Please, talk to me!" His panic is evident in his voice and Spencer doesn't even try to mask it.

Slowly, she opens her mouth and speaks up with a husky voice. "It's not fair."

Her statement confuses the father. He sits next to her on the couch and pulls her into his arms. (Y/N) puts her head onto his shoulder. His finger grazing slowly over her back in circles encourages the teenager to continue.

"It's not fair. Why is everyone allowed to make memories, core memories, with their mothers and I don't? Why can Jasmin go on a Mother-Daughter-Trip with hers? Why can Natasha go to her mom, when she gets her period, and lets her explain what’s happening? Why can Chad go to his mom to cry? Why am I denied these simple joys? What did we do to deserve this? What did mom do, that she must have died in this awful hospital, because some hospital workers weren't able to keep it clean enough to prevent her from catching hospital germs. IT IS NOT FAIR!"

Her last words are accentuated by her lightly hitting Spencer's back with her fists, not really putting any strength into it.

The father has to keep his tears to himself, burying his own feelings of grief deep down for the moment. Because his daughter needs him.

"I know, Sweetheart. It's not fair," he whispers into her hair while rocking the both of them, as she starts to sob. "Not a single thing about this is fair. But unfortunately life is not about fairness. I can't really tell you what life is about, but we need to work with what we are dealt. Nothing if it makes sense. And it never will. But we need to keep going. If it's not for yourself, then for mom. She wanted nothing more than to watch you growing up. Becoming a person. Experience your own milestones. Starting to lead a life, a better life than she did in her teen years.

Maybe you can do her the favor and do all the stuff she wanted to do. To see. We can do that all in her place. Does that sound good?"

(Y/N) nods into his shoulder. Tears are still streaming down her face, fortunately her sobs have stopped.

"Dad, will it ever get better? It's nearly seven years and it still hurts the same." Spencer sighs. It's one of the few questions he doesn't really have an answer for.

"I hope, Sweetheart. I hope so. At least the pain will be more manageable. But it never really will be gone, I'm afraid. Having the pain with us means we never forget her. That's a good thing. We just need to learn how to minimize the pain. That's something we can work on together."

The teenager nods again.

“I love her. I can’t bring myself to talk about her in past tense. I need to actively remind myself what her voice was like. Her laugh. Her features. And then I keep asking myself, if she would have liked the version of myself I have become. And the one I’ll become. She only got to know the me from seven years ago. But I’m a different person now. And I still feel so so much love and appreciation for her and I can go nowhere with it, because she is not there to receive it. I just want to tell her ‘I love you’ one last time. To let her know I really mean it. Because I feel like I haven't said that enough to her. I can’t blame myself for it, since I was only ten. And I can’t blame myself for not actively appreciating the time with her then, because I was only ten. I never expected her to be snatched from us so young, so early.”

Spencer tightens his grip on her, knowing (Y/N) isn’t looking for words. She is looking for his warmth. For his comfort.

For the time being the two of them bask in the presence of the other. 

Wishing they were three instead of two people in this room in this hug. But life seldom gives you what you want.

I know, this was a sad one. Just, please consider leaving feedback, and even if it's just a crying emoji. On this plattform, we as writers are become desperate at this point for feedback, so let's stop seeing this as IG or TT and start interacting more. Thank you.

Taglist: 

All works:

@dindjarinsspouse @venomsvl @jswessie187 @kneelforloki @ssa-uglywhore27

Criminal Minds:

@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962 @ellyhotchner @thefandomchoosesthewizard

General Spencer Reid:

@rayethefaye