#seven satire

[trashiiplant]

love wins

@crypticemerald

[madame-helen]

[moondwellerthatdwells]

Varigo nation, i am so sorry

[dontspillthefrijoles43]

Angels growing wings whenever Leo is written/drawn with his canon-accurate curls and brown skin

[nastasya--filippovna]

When people in the Bible do it (sleeping for a LONG time) it's God's will but when I do it it's the deadly sin of Sloth.

[7association-was-here]

I´d like to inform you that your latest case in district 12 has been solved and taken care of. The report will be delivered via unrelated individual who will order white chocolate mocha with fifteen extra shots of espresso and caramel sauce.

You´re welcome.

~SnakeHead~

District 12? L corp? We don’t remember ever dispatching our fixers there in the last few months. Unless it’s about that other incident with the library invitations some time ago..

Well that’s odd. But either way, we’re unsure how to take this rather anonymous tip. And neither can we recommend taking fifteen extra shots of espresso. But thank you, shady individual. We will redirect this information to our cafe volunteers to be aware of the delivery.

We look forward for further developments, whatever it is.

[el3ctrick00laid]

This image (ofc the unrevised one) made my Pinterest blow up so now this image follows me around like the plague

[lousylemonseminar]

My Discomfort Projecting should’ve been put in shilo if I actually listened to that campaign But Whatever

Have THIS

Krator took his first L so she needed to compensate

[midnightwryter]

Seven Red Suns

Then he got like 9 dots on his forehead lmaooo

[bubblesandpages]

Got up to the chapter in Seven Days in June where Eva is described as looking like Rihanna in her Disturbia era, and guess what I just happened to have been playing on repeat slowed and reverbed?

[moonyhasmanyanimals]

Poems

moonys poems

Lust is a diamond

Gluttony is a sickness

Nathens poems

[trashiiplant]

rain world if it was good

[madame-helen]

[nepalsaysrawr]

The Seven Stages of the Internet User

All the web's a stage,

and all the men and women merely players,

and everyone in their time has several roles to play,

All in 7 acts!

~~

At first, the Cocomelon addict,

Babysat by a tablet,

Gazing at a shining screen,

And entertained by nursery rhymes and cartoon characters galore.

~~

And then there's the Influencer Wannabe,

The sort of starstruck kid who'd merrily slide down the social media lane for tweets, short videos, and pics,

From their favorite influencers and all the latest challenges, video games, memes and styles du jour,

Imititating their actions for social media fame and glory in hopes of joining their heavenly ranks

And asking the parents to please buy them the video games they want to play!

~~

After this, it's the SJW's time to shine,

With things like "BLM," "I STAND WITH UKRAINE!," and that watermelon emoji on their bio,

Enjoying a bout of guilt-tripping others into thinking they are bad for doing this or doing that,

Cancelling people they don't agree with as if they should just. DIE!!! ALREADY!!!!!!111 one one one one, (die die die die die die die!!!)

Unleashing their inner clicktivist,

Being against the capitalist system while at the same time

Holding a Starbucks drink in hand and an iPhone in another. (Oh the irony!!! KAREN, IZZAT YOU?) (AN: This may overlap with the Influencer Wannabe and the Binger stages)

~~

Aside from this stage, the Binger,

With bloodshot eyes, a box of tissues, a mug of coffee, and a tasty bag o' buttered popcorn right at their disposal,

Watching all the damn sappy dramas Netflix has to offer in the dead of night,

Escaping the burdens of adulting such as bills, taxes, and deadlines all piled up,

Turning into a literal zombie yearning for more episodes as they would crave for brains,

Forgetting their responsibilities as a human being to go to bed.

~~

Then the Sharent,

Posting pics of their small children, even if they're too young to consent,

With very yooneek names such as Lakkylynnnnnn and Jaxxxxxxxxxtoooonnnnn and McKeeeeeenleiggghghghghg or MCUSEFZBDUSAEFDBLEY (keysmash!!!) to show off how cute their lil' ones are,

Promoting MLMs Molly Mormon would love, sipping wine, following Mommy Blogs which spin old wives' tales

Preventing the kiddies from getting a vaccine, "Because it causes autism..."

Instead using oils dear old Aunt Linda might approve.

~~

But the sixth stage slips into the angry ol' Facebooker,

Cursing younger generations (while these generations are destined to do the same thing in the future),

Claiming theirs was a wonderful generation to live in,

Spreading rumors, Minion memes, gossip, things that average 14-year-olds may consider deep,

Far-right views, and conspiracy theories that should make tinfoil hats crunch.

...aaaaand the last scene of 'em all is the mandatory Obituary Page,

Commemorating a life lost at the right pace and at the right time,

With sad emojis, candle pictures, comments that say "CONDOLENCE,"

"RIP," the funeral date, so on and so forth,

Run by a living loved one, only to be forgotten so soon,

Sans death anniversaries, sans concerns, sans regrets.

[dogboyboyshorts]

those recent evilvillain123456789 posts abotu grandparents and cannibalism respectively are sending me into hysterics

[dop2nz]

Add a letter, change a movie title. (And I changed the image to match, too! Apologies to Mr. King...)